#transquestioning

[tjpunkchef]

All Over The Place

In the weeks since I have last sat at this keyboard I have navigated the hills and valleys of emotion. Yes, I know that sounds dramatic, but it felt dramatic.

I've had moments of absolute clarity, confusion, absolute cloudiness, fear, joy, more fear, more confusion...you get the idea. I continue to go from a positive feeling that I want to transition into a woman, begin HRT, exercise my lower body to enhance my small hips, socially transition, come out, and allow myself the ability to attempt to live a happy life to feeling absolutely dumb for thinking that I could be a woman, shameful for wearing clothes that are gendered for the female sex, shameful for shopping in the women's section of thrift stores, wearing panties under my male gendered underwear on an almost daily basis (this also gives me great joy/feels like just a normal part of my day now), and a bit of hate toward myself for thinking of putting my family through the distress of having me be a transgender woman in the southern United States (the hate, the safety concerns, the hell that it could put them through).

I type this as I wear my favorite skirt, blouse, panties, and bra. Over the past few weeks I have removed almost all of my body hair via wax or shaving, exfoliated, moisturized, learned to give myself manicures and pedicures, painted my nails, and allowed myself to walk the halls of my home with a feminine freedom (when I am alone). I have fallen in love with my hairless soft skin. I felt such disappointment when the hair on my chest and belly started to grow back in. At least it's softer, but I know that in a few weeks it will be back to the way it was and knowing how much I prefer it gone is causing me a lot of stress. The stubble on my legs aggravates me nightly as I lay in bed. Not in the painful/itchy way that hair growing back in does, more as a reminder of the wonderful feeling my hairless, soft, and smooth legs felt against each other and the fabric of my clothes and sheets continues to fade.

My disdain for clothing gendered toward the male sex has awakened and grown exponentially over the past several weeks. I've never "liked" my body so to speak. I haven't disliked it, but have just always felt that it needed to change, via working out to achieve a more masculine frame or grow it a bit fatter, figure out what feels better, etc. After putting on my first dress that enhanced my hips I only want to accentuate them. I want to slightly cinch my waist (I like having a somewhat bigger body, a fatter body), I want to show off my actual natural curves. Clothes made for the male sex don't do this. I haven't worn jeans in years, but wept a little when I put on a pair of womens Levis that I found at the thrift store.

These emotions, these feelings, these revelations have really taken over my inner monologue. I can't stop thinking about how I think I might be a trans woman. I've talked to my therapist. I told him about the crossdressing and the feelings that have taken over my days and brought upon more sleepless nights. He mentioned that I could just be genderqueer, and I agree with that. He told me to have patience with myself and I responded that I've never reserved that for myself. I do feel that the clock is ticking. I feel like if I were to transition into a woman it is now or never. However, I also know that I can not rush a decision like this.

So, I continue to open myself to the possibility that I am a woman, that I am transgender. I continue to allow myself to feel these feelings and think these thoughts and wear these clothes and practice the acts of self care and self love. I am trying to love myself inside and out for the first time ever.

I'm also trying to love those around me more. I want to share this with my wife at some point in the near future. I am terrified of losing her and my kids. I am also terrified to continue to keep everyone in my life at arms length. I wrote down a revelation I had to share with my therapist next week:

"I have wanted to become this warm, fun, inviting, open person that I know exists inside of me for so many years, but have been unable to let out. Am I realizing that I was unable to let them out because that "me" is the woman I have somehow suppressed subconsciously and refused to allow to manifest?"

I am still confused. I am still scared. I am still working to understand this and understand me.

[build-a-bear-altershop]

Artisrs choice little alter whoes a boy and likes video games and history (cisautistic with a special interest for history and minecraft)

He seems just like one of our littles!! I bet they’d be friends 💙

Name: Liam, Elijah, Benji

Age: 9

Gender: Questioning

Pronouns: He/him, they/them

Orientation: n/a

Species: Human

Role: Spin holder, Beauheur, Diffuser, Requimate, Experiencer

Cis-Ids: Autistic, pale skin, brown hair, green eyes

Trans-Ids: TransNonverbal, TransQuestioning

Likes: Minecraft, History, Videogames

Dislikes: People misunderstanding him, fake fur fabric, sour foods, loud noises

Pos. Triggers: History, minecraft

Sign off: 🦕

picrew

- mod 🐠

[cogdis-name-pending]

in case i forget or you forget what im procrastinating on:

cerue’s abandoned lab

extras, including but not limited to

googicant

mother 1 sidequests

mother 1 mainquests

mother 1 transquests

mother 1 transgender

uranus surface

uranus sidequests

eris sidequests

apple of enlightenment lore

zarbol lore

tieins to swapbound

[np] edition manual

[np] edition trailer

shitposts

homestuck references

dialogue edits

polish

balance

more polish

expanding poland

south ring area

neptune sidequests

mars sidequests

earth sidequests

porky lore

applechasers lore

mr. saturn

more music

mercury code machine

mercury robot factory

spriting

all of the arts

all of the farts

all of the things basically

[questioninglittleshit-blog]

So im 21. And i have no idea what the fuck I am. Ive never had an issue in someone calling me he or she. Ive never cared about wearing boy cloths, I have more issues in wearing girl cloths. I dont know who I am and my family never gave me the chance to figure it out. My mom constantly pushed my gender at birth and refused for the longest time that I wasnted to date the same gender. I tried to put off figuring myself out for the longest time and now that I'm older I just cant help but feel like I will never figure it out.

[idfkbro]

Binding for the first time!

I could only do it for a few minutes because I was so scared my mum would walk in but it felt amazing and my chest looked almost flat!

[keiynantrieshisbest-blog]

My First Post

The reason I created this little ole blog is because, after having a mental breakdown at a deserted bus stop, minutes after watching Love, Simon for the second time (which by the way, wonderful movie, please go support it in theaters), is because my gender is something I’ve been questioning for much of my life and seems to be all that’s on my mind lately. So let’s start with yesterday’s breakdown. Actually let’s go back to Friday when I watched Love, Simon for the first time. I’d gone with a couple friends, and I had been anticipating this movie for a very long time. Ordered the book, read the book and re-read the book all in anticipation. The movie was wonderful, everything I’d hoped for and so much more, completely exceeded my expectations. I cried. A LOT. By the end (won’t spoil it in case you haven’t seen the movie yet which why are you still reading this go watch the freaking movie it’s amazing) I was a mess, actually sobbing out loud, a mix between a laugh and a sob ripping itself from my chest over and over as my fellow movie goers clapped loudly and cheered (it was opening night after all so you get the most enthusiastic folks). Finally (Or rather unfortunately, because I wanted the movie and that moment to last forever) the credits rolled and the lights came on. I was a complete mess in every sense of the word, my best friend seemed a little shocked saying how I had actually been sobbing in the seat next to her. After the last names had passed and the screen had gone fully and truly dark (I had insisted on staying for the credits because 1. I wanted the moment to last as long as possible and 2. I try to always stay for credits out of respect for the people who spent so long making the movie) we left and got a lyft back to our dorms (I’m a freshman in college). The whole ride back I was riding a high from the movie, basking in that feeling and going over each moment in my head. As I was sitting there though I started to get an un-easy feeling as I wondered, “why, exactly, did this movie about two boys falling in love mean so much to me?” I kind of shrugged it off but I felt this sort of frenzied anxiety in the pit of my stomach the rest of the night. My best friend and I walked back to our building after saying goodbye to the other friends who’d gone with us. We went up to one of our guy friends’ rooms to chill with some of our other friends. I was telling him about how the movie was and how much I’d loved it. I told him that I didn’t think I’d ever see a better movie, that I’d peaked. He said of course not, that someday I’d watch a movie called Love, Jenny or something about two girls falling in love and that I’d love that movie even more (this may be a good time, if you haven’t already figured, to tell you that I was assigned female at birth and that my college friends know me as a bi, cis girl). I knew as soon as he said it that he was wrong, I wouldn’t love that movie more. Because for some unexplainable reason, despite being a bi “girl” I don’t relate to lesbians or stories about lesbians. I always was interested in stories about gay men and sought out those stories, got excited and animated about those stories, those people or characters. Take my book collection for example. I love to collect books and so far I have two queer romance stories (which is very sad, not a ton of gay fiction out there, either that or I’m terrible at finding it). Both these books are gay love stories about boys. And for the same reason I only own books about gay BOYS falling in love, is the same reason I was indescribably excited for Love, Simon not just because it’s the first real love story about gay youth I’ve ever seen but because it was a love story about two BOYS. Because it literally felt like the story was made for me in mind, that’s how much I related to Simon. Only I’m not Simon, I’m biologically female. Only I think I want to be like Simon. I’ve had this unexplainable longing to be a boy for probably as long as I can remember. Only I never once considered I might be trans until recently because my gender expression has always seemed to align fine with female. I’ve experience dysphoria before, but never to the extent described online. Don’t get me wrong, when I do get it it is all consuming and horrifically painful. But I never experienced it like this constant thing, dictating everything I did. I can remember one night in particular where I so badly felt that my genitals were wrong, that I was meant to have a penis and if I didn’t find a way to get one it might kill me. It was kind of like having a phantom limb, something that i just felt so badly was supposed to be there, and the thought that I never would have that tore me up. But that was one night and I don’t get these all encompassing thoughts on the regular. Another example would be how I once had a dream I had a penis, it was a pretty awesome dream and when I woke up and was faced with the entirely too real fact that I did not in fact have a penis and it’d only been a dream. I was upset by this. But again this happened once and it’s not something I experience regularly. I guess I felt (feel) as though since I’m not crippled day to day with horrible dysphoria, I couldn’t possibly be trans. Growing up I liked dresses and barbies and pink and anything girly. I had been the perfect little girl, not a sign of anything out of the ordinary. I never insisted I wasn’t a girl, I never refused to wear feminine clothing or participate in feminine activities. I had a favorite skirt that was layers of ruffled pink fabric with hearts covering every inch, i wore it often. I think it was maybe that I did enjoy these feminine things, have always enjoyed feminine things, and that maybe I didn’t see the issue of being stuck in the wrong gender because, as far as I was concerned, I was getting to play with the toys I wanted and dress how I wanted. I don’t think I understood what gender was, or at least I wasn’t confronted with it. Not until I grew older. Once puberty started to affect my body, that’s when I think I started to realize something was wrong. I remember how one of my sister’s friends pointed out my leg hair and told me I need to shave my legs. Because that was normal of girls. Until she pointed that out I hadn’t been concerned with my leg hair in the least. I just remember feeling a really deep sense of shame when she pointed that out and it wasn’t long after that, that I asked my mom to help me shave my legs for the first time. I began to shave quite religiously after that. There’s another instance I remember quite clearly in my mind that probably happened around the same time. I was with a friend in the cafeteria getting ice cream. She had commented that you could see my breasts through my shirt (my breasts had started to bud and were now noticeable through my shirt). Once again I was filled with a deep sense of shame and embarrassment. It seems that my gender wasn’t really something that concerned me until people started to point out that I wasn’t meeting the standards of “my” gender. I hit middle school, which yikes for anybody am I right? I started to gain weight, a lot of weight. Probably a way to cope. I started wearing big loose t-shirts and shorts constantly and I always wore my hair up in a bun. I felt perpetually uncomfortable like nothing about me was right and everything felt wrong. Looking back I think maybe I thought it was just the weight making me uncomfortable (not easy being overweight ever, especially in middle school) but now I think it was a lot more than that, that maybe I was dealing with some heavy dysphoria at the fact that my body was changing and not in the way I wanted it to. So I think I always knew something was up. Freshman year of high school I moved to a new country and I met a boy I very much liked. I decided I was gonna do whatever I could to make this boy like me. I started losing weight and wearing make up and doing all in my power to be this perfect girl. This is also when I started to become confronted with the fact that I was bi and liked girls. I was homophobic from the environment I’d grownup in and had a lot of internalized homophobia. I remember my best friend at the time talking about same sex couples. I’d declared that it was a sin and that I didn’t care what other people did but that I still thought it was wrong. She’d said she didn’t agree, that she thought love was love and people should marry whoever they loved. She sort of started me on the path of accepting myself. I started to explore my sexuality. My sister introduced me to tumblr and I made a blog, making lots of cringey posts about the animes I watched and the straight couple I hardcore shipped. Then I found the gay side of tumblr, endless fanart and fanfic about gay couples from shows I watched. I didn’t have the words or capability to understand why I felt so connected to these characters or why I felt so much reading these stories and looking at this art. For some reason I became all consumed with gay BOYS. I wondered if I was a pervert, someone who fetishized gay boys like I’d seen in so many posts. It became a point of discomfort I ignored rather than confront and continued to consume as much gay media and content about gay BOYS as possible, happily ignoring the nagging in the back of my head of why that might be. As I grew into a high schooler and moved again and started a new school, I’d finally seemed to come to terms with my sexuality. Or at least I knew I was bi, had even whispered it to myself alone in the dark bedroom that was supposed to be mine but I didn’t feel comfortable in yet. Now that the sexuality question was out of the way, my brain decided to tackle the next topic: my gender. I came across a post by someone I followed describing how they were genderfluid. I’d never heard the term before and as they described how they’d always felt like a boy in high school, about having this desperate want to be a boy, I thought oh! That’s just like me. Genderfluid became a term I would use to describe myself for the rest of high school and now into college. I decided that I liked being a girl, didn’t want to give that part of myself up. I decided I sometimes felt like a girl (because i enjoyed feminine things and connected with my feminine side), sometimes I felt like neither (coming from my desire for gender to not just exist at all “it’s just so stupid and meaningless” I often thought, “gender doesn’t even really exist so why should be care about it at all”) and sometimes feeling like a boy. I still have my doubts as I write what seems to be a coming out post to myself. And i guess to whoever’s reading this if anyone’s reading it. Doubts that maybe I am genderfluid because I can be content as a girl at times, have lived content as a girl. But see the thing is genderfluid felt like the bandaid I used to cover up my gender crisis. It kept everything from spilling out and for awhile I was satisfied with the label, really believed it. I’m currently in my second semester of my first year of college and lately I’ve been extremely anxious and unmotivated. And lately genderlfuid has felt wrong. So wrong. As I was explaining to my wonderful friends I met on this site so long ago who helped me come out to my sister as both bi and genderfluid, I didn’t feel like genderlfuid was right. Have really been feeling for awhile now that it isn’t right, that I never connected to it the way I was supposed to. It seemed that a label was supposed to click and just feel so perfectly right and genderfluid just didn’t. So I after watching Love, Simon the first time and having all these sorts of thoughts swirl through my head I decided to text one of these online friends whos boyfriend is a transguy. I asked her, “can I ask how [her boyfriend] knew he was trans?” She was wonderful and said of course and sent me his snapchat. He was at work though so I didn’t end up getting to talk to him. I think some part of me started to panic though because I was seriously starting to ask myself this because of how I’d felt on the ride home the night before. I ignored it and instead went and bought bus tokens and rode alone to the movie theater to watch Love, Simon again. Did i mention I was by myself?! A huge deal because I have really bad anxiety and never do anything alone like that. So I go and I sit smack dab in the middle of the theater in the perfect seat and can’t even bring myself to be ashamed of how shamelessly I took the middle seat when I’m all alone because I’m just bursting with excitement. And it was almost as wonderful as watching it the first time or at least it would have been if I hadn’t felt that same frenzied anxiety deep in the pit of my stomach. It was really strange and I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling this way. I still loved the movie and I cried quite a lot again. Particularly in all the parts with Simon and his family. I left the theater feeling a bit weird but happy because I love the movie. I rushed over to the bus stop because I mixed up the times and thought this other bus was the one I needed. I realized it wasn’t and that I was gonna have to wait a long time out in the cold. I was feeling kind of emotional from the movie so I pulled out my phone and started to record myself talking to kill the time. “Sometimes I wish I could live in a moment. A perfectly suspended moment. Where nothing is wrong and everything goes perfect. Everything is so dissatisfying that I wonder if I’ll ever find anything that feels remotely like it’s supposed to and I don’t know that I will.” Then I moved on starting to imagine how I’d come out to my other sister who I’ve yet to come out to. I won’t include that because it’s very personal but I started to get teary. I shut my phone off and went back to waiting for the bus. But suddenly I burst into tears. For no apparent reason and I couldn’t stop crying. I started to think some bad thoughts about killing myself, that nothing was worth it and I should just stop. My counselor and I had made a list of people I could call if I was thinking suicidal thoughts again. So i pulled my phone out and called my sister (the one I’m out to) because she’s on the top of my list. She picked up right away and I was still full on sobbing, tears running down my face and she could hear it immediately. I said I couldn’t stop crying and I didn’t know why. She thought something had happened I said nothing had happened, I just burst into tears and I couldn’t stop. We talked for a bit, I say talked but I mostly stuttered out words between sobs without making any sense to her or myself. I said I didn’t know why I was crying. I finally said i had to hang up so I could calm down before my bus got here because talking to her was only making me cry harder. Only even after hanging up and promising I was okay and I’d text her when I got back I still couldn’t stop sobbing. I told myself to stop, you’re fine you have to stop. I pulled it together long enough to climb on the bus and hopefully the driver didn’t notice I’d been crying, luckily no one was on the bus. I spent the thirty minute bus ride back to my dorm desperately trying to hold back tears and staring at myself at my reflection in the window across from me. My head was swirling with thoughts and I was so disoriented by it all I couldn’t figure out why I had seemed to just have a breakdown. I arrived back at my building and when I walked inside I was bombarded with my friends who were sitting in the lobby. They were all so cheerful saying hey! Where’ve you been. One of my friends coming up to give me a side hug and stand next to me. I could barely keep a smile on my face, I felt on the verge of crying again. I barely said anything and did my best to slip away heading for the elevators. My best friend (who’s also my roommate) jumped up from her seat and said she was going to come up with me. We rode the elevator to our room and she talked excitedly the whole way there, I did my best to respond but I felt so completely out of it. She ran off to the bathroom and I sat numbly at my desk, plugging my phone in as it was about to die and feeling tears well up in my eyes again. I wanted to call my sister but two of our other roommates were there and I knew I’d burst into tears the second I heard her voice. My best friend returned and she asked me if I was going to come down. I said I needed to call my sister and my voice was shaking in that crying way. She asked if I was okay. I said nothing happened but I needed to call my sister. She tired to come up with where I could go. I asked if she thought our friend who lives in a single would lend me his room. She asked him for me and guided me out of our room and to the elevators. He was already in there, he gave me a hug and we rode up to his floor. He handed me the keys to his room and they said to text them if I needed anything. Then they went back downstairs. My friends are good like that. I went to his room, he had on his purple light so the room was dark except for that. I plugged in my phone and climbed on his bed. I called my sister. We talked for awhile and I started crying again. We discussed why I might’ve cried. She said it’s an emotional movie for me so I was probably just feeling a lot of things from it. And that was definitely part of it but it was also more than that, and I knew that it was more than that. I told her in tears that I just wanted to be out. I said I didn’t know who I was. She didn’t understand, I didn’t understand. After I’d calmed down a bit I said I should go because I didn’t know what else to say. After we hung up I cried again. I cried and I cried and I cried. I listened to the Love, Simon soundtrack and I sat in the dark and cried for a very long time. I still feel a bit confused about it all but I think part of me realized I was realizing that I’m not genderfluid, that I might be trans. And that was a lot, and with that revelation the bandaid cracked and everything I’ve been feeling just kind of came pouring out. I think I knew that I didn’t just relate to Simon because he’s queer but because he’s a boy. And that freaked me out and it scared me. And my mind didn’t know what to do with that information. I spent the whole day today watching videos about trans guys and researching as much information as possible. And I made this blog, for some reason. I guess it’s a way to explore my identity and figure out if I really am trans. So if you got this far, thanks for listening. And talk to you soon.

Love, Keiynan

[everylamp]

.

[littlemxash]

Hi! I’m thinking about recording a video for Trans Day of Visibility, please comment any questions that you would like me to answer or ideas!

[lumberjackloverboy-moved]

transquestion.. does t make talking hurt.. like forever? do u HAVE to lower your voice while u talk or else it will hurt? follow up question… can u still be trans and not want to medically transition or bind bc of certain side effects and fear? /gen

So, t doesn’t make talking hurt for most people. It might give you a scratchy throat in the beginning, but I don’t know anyone on or offline who experienced genuine pain. You don’t have to lower you voice at all for abt reason— I never have! I’ve never lowered my voice on purpose long term on t unless I’m in an unsafe situation and I *need* to pass, and even then I experienced only mild discomfort after a long period of time.

You can absolutely still be trans and not medically transition! I didn’t bind before I got my tits cut off, and I went a really long time not wanted to take t and I was just as trans then as I am now. How much or how little you medically transition, regardless of the reason, has nothing to do with how real your transness is. You are trans just by existing as yourself.

[magickaestheticss]

Ravenclaw panromantic transquestioning with slight 💤 deprivation and a lot of homework💙💙 @jaycethepan

[lady-britain]

Alright y'all help me out here

Definitely not trying to be bigoted, I just don't know. And google won't help. Keep the flames away, I'm just trying to get some education. If a person starts out in life as a cis-girl, and then transitions to a man (name change, identity change, whole shebang), then a few years later transitions back to a woman (name change again, but DIFFERENT from the original name), are they still trans? Like that might sound dumb (and I totally affirm that there are 100161937528 genders out there and everyone has a right to do whatever they want), but is that person technically trans anymore since they're now back to where they started? Y'all let me know. Just want some answers

[transadvice]

I'm pretty sure I'm a trans guy, but this voice in the back of my head keeps telling me I'm making something out of nothing and I'm not actually, I'm just confused. I didn't think of myself as a boy when I was a kid and I did ballet, which is pretty stereotypically feminine, but I did tend to do the boys dances. I definitely have dysphoria, I know that, but I'm not sure whether I'm just making this up or whether it's actually something worth looking into

“Am I just making this up?” is a common transquestioning concern. I know I asked myself that question. Gender identity can feel so elusive and unreal. We ask ourselves, “Isn’t this all in my head?”

Well, yeah, but so is everybody’s gender identity. Where else would it be except in your head? Every aspect of identity is all in your head. That’s kind of what identity means. What is identity anyway? We could pick at this until we get down to “what is truth” and “is the color blue that you see the same as the color blue that I see?” 

Your gender identity is just as real as anybody else’s. Our society tends to see cis gender feelings as normal and laudable and obvious, and trans gender feelings as weird and wrong and unbelievable, so it’s no wonder that we internalize that. We discredit our own gender feelings EVEN AS WE ARE FEELING THEM. 

That voice in the back of your head is cispatriarchy, my friends, and it is in the back of all of our heads because we grew up stewing in it.

Let’s go back to something you’re sure about: you definitely have dysphoria. That’s worth taking seriously. Whether you end up identifying as a boy, girl, nonbinary, trans, cis, whatever: you don’t need to live with untreated dysphoria. 

If you had knee pain, would you decide it’s not worth looking into unless you felt 100% comfortable with the identity of Knee Pain Survivor? No, you’d go to the doctor, or you’d at least try out a splint from the drugstore. You’d tell people “I don’t like to walk too far on my knee, so can we park close?”  So: you can go to the doctor about this (i.e. a therapist.) You can try out an over-the-counter treatment (e.g. a binder if you have FTM top dysphoria, etc.) You can tell people “I don’t like the pronoun ‘she’ so can you call me ‘they’?” You deserve to feel good in your body and your life. Treat your dysphoria like the pain that it is. Look for specific, targeted ways to make it better, even if you can’t make it totally go away. You don’t need to identify any particular way or commit to “full transition” (whatever that means) to explore tactics to ease your dysphoria. Identity may not feel like a real thing to you right now, but your dysphoria definitely does, so work on taking care of that and the rest may follow.

Quick rundown of your other points. I have a feeling you know all this, but just to make sure:

* Doing things that are stereotypically feminine doesn’t make you a girl. Doing ballet doesn’t make you a girl. (Doing the boys’ dances doesn’t make you a boy, either. It’s totally irrelevant.) You can be a boy who does “girl things” or a girl who does “boy things” or a nonbinary person who does anything. Gender identity does not equal gender expression does not equal enjoying “boy” vs “girl” hobbies.

* Whether or not you thought of yourself as a boy when you were a kid? Also irrelevant. Plenty of people don’t come into their trans identities until puberty or later. 

* It’s ALWAYS worth looking into. 

[build-a-bear-altershop]

Mod alterpack #1! Mod 🐠

The poll did encourage me!

Name: Bay

Age: 14-24 (age slider)

Gender: Demiboy

Pronouns: Kelp/kelps, re/ref/reefs, thal/thals

Orientation: Ace/Aro

Species: Merboy

Role: Trauma holder, Mentagenic, Traumalthuorma

Cis-Ids: Merman, talkative, polite, abused, autistic, ADHD, DID

Trans-Ids: transEndogenic, transBlood, transQuestioning

Likes: Going to the aquarium, playing video games, making fish puns

Dislikes: Generally rude or unkind people, it being quiet for too long

Pos. Triggers: Oceans and big bodies of water, other fish

Neg. Triggers: Feeling abandoned or ignored

Sign off: 🐠

picrew

[razliel]

#thingsimafraidtoaskmytransfriends

I knew you before you changed, for years and years. It doesn't matter that I know now that you're a boy not a girl... In every memory you're in, from before you told me that you were a boy, I remember a girl. Does that offend you, that I can't change what was? Or at least what was to me... People can only view the world in a bias of their own perceptions, and mine at the time told me you were a girl. So, I'm sorry if that offends you, and I don't know how to ask if it does, or if I even should. But in my memories is a distinctive line. You've always been you...but there was a girl you and a boy you in my memories. Does it offend you or upset you that when I talk about the past I often use what's now the wrong pronoun, even though since I was told I've been so careful to use the one you want? I'm sorry...but I can't change what I remember, even if what I remember was only my perception and not the truth as you know it

[ultrahannahblr]

Broadsheet, TERFS and the Trans Question

In recent weeks and months, Broadsheet, New Zealand's Feminist Magazine’s Facebook page has been posting several articles about the participation of trans women within women’s spaces.

This issue has a long history of conflict going back to Olivia Records and Sandy Stone in 1977, and Beth Elliott and the West Coast Lesbian Feminist Conference in 1973.  This conflict between trans women and some feminists and lesbians about whether trans women are women is an ongoing debate for nearly fifty years, has yet to be resolved.

Much of the arguments focus on trans women presenting a clear and present danger to the lives of cisgender women.  And that allowing trans women into women’s spaces such as toilets, exposes them to unnecessary danger.  Yet, recent research showing that there is no evidence that trans women pose any threat in women’s spaces.   And despite the fact that trans women are subject to high levels of discrimination and violence and between 2008 and 2017 some 2609 trans people have been murdered.  

Yet for better or worse many trans women, their decision to transition ties their fate to what happens to women.  By doing so, they are part of the concerted effort to improve the lives of not just trans women, but all women.