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#trauma doesnt have to be something like that i thought we knew this as a collective
caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
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Thinking about that time when I was pressured into giving my testimony by not only my peers but also one of the religious leaders at my church even though I kept stating I didn't want to and was uncomfortable.
And then when I finally did, the testimony I told was about how I'd learned that not all Christians were good people and about how people had used god, Christianity, and their authority to hurt me and people I loved and how I was having to seperate the way they acted from the beliefs I held and then everyone looked at me like this:
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#im not even a Christian anymore and im STILL having to work on this#i want to make sure im being the appropriate amount of a dickhead to people#christian that thinks abusing and harrassing people is okay? hello im hear to be a dickhead to you#but Christian who is simply respectfully and peacefully practicing their religion? i really should not be a dickhead to that person#basically deconstructing and trying ti heal from my trauma so thaf i dont continue the cycle or hive birth to a new one#id like the abuse to end with me#i thought this instance was hilarious though#also for anyone who doesnt know what a testimony is:#im not sure the exact definition but basically you talk about how you found god or something#usually the more grueling and horrible your life was before you converted and the better it was after the more encouraged youd be by others#a very common example was people who had struggled with addiction or alcoholism and then recovering because of their new faith#but i was very uncomfortable because everyone else in the group i was in was born and raised Christian and i knew this#we were also between the ages of like 12 and 16 so not exactly rife with devastating additions or tales of loss and grief#i think the most convincing one and the one that was the least dramatized or confusing was just this one kid#this one kid who talked a out how being born prematurely had affected his life and i think his parents also got divorced#or he had an absent dad or something#anyway moral of the story: dont pressure people to tell you things. its disrespectful and you may find you dont like the story you get
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tousakamis · 1 year
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sigh. my mum is talking about how she recognises that both me and my little brother are mentally ill but she's apparently been "protecting us from labels how she wasn't" (because that's "all that society wants to give kids nowadays") and she wants us to just "get on with life and be who we are"
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emofrog69 · 1 year
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religious trauma is real it quite literally gave me OCD lmfao
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snekdood · 1 year
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anyways if nick fartez and any of his skeevy fans are spying on me online I needja to know this: no one will ever love you or like you or fuck you and its all your fault bc your a nazi. the only way you'll ever get anything is if you rape someone and you and I both know that doesnt mean shit except how desperate you are to stick your dick in someone and how much you're willing to violate people who actively dislike you and would never be around you if it was their choice. it didn't hafta be this way but you decided being a ugly skeevy nazi was more important than anything, which is sad. honestly jump off a cliff, save yourself the time.
#posting this bc idk where I saw the clip maybe a vaush video or keffals or some shit but he mentions his 'jewish bully' which he says in a#way thats obvious he doesnt actually have one but seems like a direct reference to me and how I would vent about having a bully who was#jewish also. but the whole point I was making in the first place is that her being jewish has nothing to do with her being a bully. its#whatever trauma that made her so shitty bc otherwise her sister was really nice to me and we got along and were friends#just thought I should post this to remind them since they probably hate watch me and try to see me as a lolcow to compensate#for their own shitty fuckless lives.#hey at least I can get some lmao.#really makes me wonder though. who exactly is reporting to him about me? I WONDER if its the same person I keep kinda#coming to the conclusion about that theyre secretly a alt righter which is why they desperately try to paint me as one.#i mean hey bud! why were you writing lyrics to a song about hitler on your kupika?#im sure you're so so happy that that website is taken down. too bad I have screenshots and video evidence of it huh 😢#+everything else about you and your history ik about and the shit you cover up like. it kinda seems like its compiling into one thing.#innit ya channer? hey at least I thought those conspiracy theories were about something else entirely. you prolly know exactly what#theyre referencing. which is probably why when I started talking about them not knowing what they really meant you instead#saw it as an opportunity to take down a trans person. and also why you somehow knew about the “bohemian grove” and were the#first person to tell me about it. but whatever no ones gonna believe me... for now.#cant wait for the day your ass gets exposed for the shitty skeevy fuck you really are xoxoxo#though who knows. maybe nick and his fuckless followers picked up on me from vaush's chat. but honestly I feel like i'm such a nobody ass#person on there that idk why they would. so kinda think its someone else. someone who might've been following me for longer.......#and was the first person to tell me about the bohemian grove and also enabled and egged on the conspircy theory beliefs 🤔🤔🤔🤔
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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶
i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)
have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖
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i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...
i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned
mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭
i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔
i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends
i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about
people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled
in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol
the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭
its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭
mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)
i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.
its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!
she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!
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she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"
she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)
she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.
he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.
THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.
she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7
but again, those are the consequences of HER actions
her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭
their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"
its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!
you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)
everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.
obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.
the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"
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she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!
just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.
im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!
im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.
i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!
i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process
talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol
i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭
its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.
all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.
i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.
also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!
thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!
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lethalchiralium · 2 years
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If ur taking requests can we get something like Ghost still doesnt trust fxreader at all even when they are together for like 1/2 years and she gets all sad and starts distancing herself tyxxxx
No More | Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader
a/n: guys. guys i mean it keep the requests coming i love them. also : captain reader? because girlboss??? it’s kinda shitty but i love messy. gives me better control of future chapters :)
CALLSIGN: Mercy
warnings: angst, cussing, realizations and sort of heartbreak.
summary: You’ve been with Ghost for a year and a half - you allowed him into things you kept safe guarded, and realized that he has never done the same for you.
REMINDER: This is a side-blog, not my main! If you have any questions, feel free to message this blog or reblog! Reblogs are always appreciated - as well as any comments, they keep me motivated to write stuff like this!
SERIES MASTERLIST
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You thought he would grow out of it. He’s an adult; given, he’s a very fucked up soldier, but an adult that has done adult things. He’s a few years shy of being in his thirties, and he doesn’t even understand the basics of having a girlfriend. He doesn’t understand a lot of things, and even though you’ve explained to him more times than you can remember, he still didn’t understand you after a year and a half of being together. Sure, you are on the same squad, you leave separately on break but always end up in the same apartment. The apartment that had framed pictures of you, your family, your dog - yet it always feels like he doesn’t give you anything.
It’s been a year and a half and the only personal thing you got out of him was a story about his brother when they were younger. You had told him countless stories of you and your childhood best friend, your single dad who fostered and adopted you. You even told him about your childhood dog who got hit by a car when he was young and still lived to be 15, about the very short memories you had of your godfather before he passed. You had told him everything, you had put your full trust into him and he hadn’t even given thought into putting an ounce of trust into you.
You couldn’t help it when you started to close yourself off - a trauma response from those years in the orphanage, then the system. You took less and less patients, eventually getting confronted by your Lieutenant, “What is going on with you, Captain?” You had given them a half-assed answer, “Got a lot of papers to go through from Price. It won’t be a long time.” And you kept yourself locked in your office, looking over case files and possible missions you could go on to escape this. Escape the feeling that has been gnawing at your soul since the last time you left your apartment with him three months ago. The feeling of distrust, of emotional abandonment.
You didn’t stop your tears when they came every night after Ghost had visited, but you never cried in front of him. You figured that would give him more ammunition to keep you at arm’s length.
Your hand ran across the hefty manila folder, the other held onto your vest collar. You opened the folder.
It was a stupid decision, you knew that. He would never let you get out of his sight, let you be anywhere without his knowledge and approval. But you needed something different - you needed somewhere where you felt like you could breathe, with people you trust and have put trust into you.
Your dog, Cerberus, whined from your cot across the room. You’d been sleeping more in your office than your own room, you figured it was because you were mentally preparing to be out on the friend with your old squad, and definitely not because you couldn’t stand to be in the same room as Ghost. He never let you move away from him in missions, never let you out of his sight when on them - it was suffocating, feeling like you were inadequate in a field you spent most of your life in because of the man you loved with everything you had. You gave him your all, your everything - he definitely made you feel that it would never be enough, without him even speaking a word.
Your eyes read over the mission again. Reconnaissance on a couple of enemy bases, a patrol of safe houses in the area to make sure they were still secure. That and to infiltrate a top secret base deep in the mountains to retrieve information on a possible illegal uranium enrichment plant being constructed. Your eyes darted back across the room to Cerberus, you whistled lowly. The German Shepherd leapt off your cot, scrambling to sit in between you and your desk, he plopped his heavy head on your lap. You smiled at him, scratching behind his ears. “Good boy, Cerby.”
Your team consisted of your good friends, Logan and Hesh Walker, as well as Keegan Russ. You remembered how threatened Ghost was with how close of friends you were with them, you had chose to follow him to 141 instead of stay in the comfort of the Ghost Crew. A choice you had regretted earlier, but not now. You felt a lot better equipped with such an intense task force, you have more medics than before and an actual base to stay in - that and Price seemed a lot more relaxed now that Hassan and Shepherd were no longer a problem.
Cerberus’s ears perked up and he darted out from under your desk as you heard thunderous footsteps coming towards your office.
“Lay down.” You ordered your dog, he looked back at you before he skittered back onto your bed. You stood, your seat wheeled backwards half a foot. It was only five more seconds before your office door slammed against the wall, Ghost stormed in and shoved it back into the frame with his foot. He held up a folder just likes yours before he growled loudly, “What the fuck is this?”
You closed your own folder, moving your hand from your vest collar and splaying your fingers on the cardstock. Your eyes stayed down on the folder stamped, “Classified.”
“You’re going on a mission with the Ghosts?”
Your eyes looked over some stamped patient files, taking them in your hand and opening a few to se did you had signed them.
“Price told me five minutes ago. You’ve known for how long?”
You closed the files and whistled lowly again, the clicking of claws against the concrete was heard as the massive search and rescue dog curled around the back of your legs. You didn’t even have to look to know that he had his hackles raised - when you were on guard, so was he.
Ghost marched forwards and slammed his folder down on your desk, his fist clenched as he growled, “Answer me.”
“A month.” You muttered, eyes staring at the folders in your hands before turning away. You’ve cried over him the night previous and the seven before that, must you face him?
“And you weren’t going to tell me?” His voice was gruff, appalled. “That’s reckless. And you told Price not to tell me? Really?”
“It was need to know.” You answered, placing the files back on your desk before you stepped around your dog to the head of your cot where your duffle sat open. He followed, keeping a distance of six feet from you because of Cerberus curling around your legs and staring at him. Your hands grew shaky as you began to double check everything in your bag.
“I tell you whenever I leave for any mission, any fuckin’ errand, and you don’t dare tell me about one of the most important ops we’ve had in months? Why are you going?”
“They need a medic, they requested me.”
He scoffed. “We need our medic.”
You slowed down, hand brushing over your beige t-shirts as you spoke, “You have my lieutenant, Gomez.”
“I want you here.” His voice softened a little, you shoved the clothes down farther in the bag, pulling out your spare medkit and opening it, eyes darting over its contents. “I only trust you to patch me up.”
You slammed your spare med-pack closed and back into your duffle. You quickly zipped it, sharply saying, “That’s funny, ‘cause you seem not to trust me any other time.” You turned to look at him, eyes brimmed with tears.
His eyes widened. “What?”
“You don’t trust me, Simon. You never let me take my lead when we’re on missions, let me be near you, let me talk with other people.” Your arms crossed over your chest, tears slicing hot on your skin. “You don’t trust me. do you even want to be in this relationship?” Your hand went up and quickly wiped away your tears. “Because it certainly feels like you don’t.”
He stood there, stunned - his hands at his side, he had no idea what to do with them. “Of course I do.” He took a step forward, cautiously placing his right hand out. “Of course I trust you.”
You backed away then, your calves bumped into Cerberus, your hand reached down to touch his head - an attempt to calm yourself. “Then why can’t you put a little faith in me? A little faith that you are the one I go to sleep thinking about? That you are the one I worry about when I’m out on the field, instead of my own safety? That I wouldn’t ever do this to you?” Tears fall rapidly, your heart beat roughly in your chest - anxiety was gripping your diaphragm. “I trust you with my life, Simon. I have since we got together. It’s been almost a year and a half and you still don’t even trust me to have your back.”
He just stands there, arms at his side - his eyes stared at you, dark and full of pain. “I do. I do trust you, Y/N.”
You threw your duffle on your back and walked towards him - shoving a finger into his chest, looking up at him. “You have this whole mission to think about this, about us. Because I can’t be trusting you blindly when you don’t even trust me to breathe.”
You moved around him, whistling for Cerberus. The dog swiftly followed you out of the office, and you slammed the door behind you. You swiftly walked down the corridor, and as soon as you turned the corner, your back hit the wall. Your hand flew up to your mouth, pressing into it to muffle the loud sobs that fell from your throat. Cerberus pawed at your leg before pressing his head to it.
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part 2 here!
Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.
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sleepybugeyes · 3 months
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I read through all of Elias/Jonah's dialogue (as you do) plus some relistening and mentions of him, so here's a big list of some fun things and behaviors I noted!
I thought he made a lot of eye puns/jokes, but he only does it once in mag161, however he does enjoy making jokes. "Creativity never was their forte." from mag80, "You want my account? My sworn testimony? My statement?" from 82, "If you die, I’m afraid you probably won’t be able to claim your expenses." in 116 and "I only have two eyes, after all." in 120. no one ever laughs at his jokes only he finds them amusing
His last words telling Jon a sarcastic or mocking "good luck" are mirrored earlier as he also tells Basira good luck the last time he sees her, and Martin, as he's getting arrested
He loves gloating. "I forget how new you all are to this." from mag92, "Coffee is not as good for disguising tastes as you might think." in 98, "She’s hoping that even if I see it coming she’ll still be able to overpower me. She’s wrong, of course," in 102, "A masterpiece, isn’t it?" abt his panopticon in 158 and of course his whole monologue in 160
He does his budgeting on tuesdays and his scheduling on wednesdays
He also likes getting lost in work
in mag40 he makes up proper incompetency (said he didnt know how the fire system works, while he later admits he was actively waiting) just that once, but more so he acts like he doesnt get the full picture (doesnt know whats in the tunnels, whats strange about the institute) or acts too late and apologises (not stepping into jon's stalking behaviour). Which makes me think he is quite fine letting people think less of him but unless he has something to hide hes not actively looking to give the impression
in mag92 elias slides the papers for basira across his desk, but you don't hear him take them out before, meaning he prepared and got ready for this before he called the police
in general he's a very preparing man, Lukas steps in when Elias is arrested so has has control over who'd run it. in mag118 he says he prepared something to hurt martin (my speculation is that he likely has some trauma that could hurt you prepared for any person that could cross him, just in case he needs it). When he gets arrested he has something prepared so he doesnt get killed and ofc s1-4 is preparing Jon for his grand ritual
Elias admits the idea for his ritual kinda fell into place after Getrude didnt do anything about the people's church in march 2015. He shot Getrude and appointed Jon shortly after so "when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you." is pure dramatics as Jon was hired 4 years prior
also he got his ritual in 2018 so he managed to acomplish his life's goal in only 3 years, love his grindset 🔥
We never get a number for how many people Elias has killed in his ritual, the real life millbank has held over 1000 people at once, but id imagine his one panopticon held less than a whole complex
its really interesting to me in mag92 that hes SO sure they all know he's talking to them of his own free will. is he just that dead set on being in control or making sure they take no credit for his confession
there is a clock in Elias' office (but it's only heard in mag98)
He has killed people but Elias is very much not a blood thirsty person. Getrude and Peter are both surprised when he results to that. He's very much just ruthless and does not care, if to get his way he has to kill someone. It doesnt seem like he's ever happy to do so, maybe this is a quirk of being eye aligned and getting rid of any type of knowledge is painful (he does for example never want Tim to die at the Unknowing), or he just finds covering those murders up a hassle
for the Unknowing Elias books them all hotel rooms, how thoughtful
something cute to me that Jon was too good at the Eye that Elias couldnt meet him face to face post coma
In mag158 he implies that even Institute employees not in the archives are tied to it, at least enough that they could suffer or die if it burned down
between finding other people just as tools to watch and discard and saying empathy holds you back he was definitely a very very lonely man
He is a very breathy person. He sounds breathy when he talks. He takes deep breaths to ready himself and before he uses his powers. And he often breathes through his nose before speaking or during pauses
He has said Jon's name 62 times, only twice calling him "Jonathan" and called him archivist 25 times (24 in the mag120 statement, 1 in mag138 and 1 in mag161)(he also kinda calls him The Archive in 160)
other fun amount of words: know (65 times), see (42), martin (35), detective (20), eyes (20) and eye (9), afraid (9) and "bullshit" (1)
its still insane to me they added all of those sound effects of Elias' cuffs in prison, thats something fun to appreciate. It also means its canon he gestures quite a bit!
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ash5monster01 · 4 months
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Glass Houses
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Chapter Seven - Through The Long Night 🎶
Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader
Warnings: depression, ptsd, minor angst, mentions of evil, mentions of trauma, fluff
Summary: Pregnant with your first child you find the nightmares of Hawkins creeping back in. The only thing Steve can do is comfort you.
word count: 2.2k
Six ←→ Eight
Masterlist
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Summer 1991
You're broken hearted from a long, long time ago
It's late when Steve rolls into the driveway, already dark out after a long and warm summer day. What confuses him is the pitch black house in front of him, not even a flicker of life shining from inside. You knew he'd be back from his business trip late tonight, had even expressed your excitement over the phone. He had expected to see you waiting up for him on the couch, smiling with anticipation after the long three days you spent without each other. He had been dying to see you but the coldness of the house in front of him makes him think you weren't the same.
The house is just as it seems on the outside. Cold and dark, each room lacking a sign of life. It briefly reminds Steve of a time in his life when it was only him who lived in this home, dreading his return to it each night. It isn’t until he reaches the top of the stairs he hears the faint noise of music coming from your shared bedroom. He recognizes the tune as Billy Joel’s album Glass Houses. The beginning notes of I Don't Want to Be Alone beginning to play softly into the room. Carefully he turns the knob on the door just to find the bedroom is just as dark as the rest of the house, your form curled under the covers, but he can tell you're not asleep.
"Rosy, I'm home" he calles out, navigating the dark room carefully as he moves to your side of the bed. You shift lightly as he sits on the edge, arm automatically reaching and caging you onto the bed. His free hand reaches for the lmap, flicking it on to finally reveal you in some warm light.
"Everything okay?" he inquires, smiling softly at you. The hand propping him up by your hip glides up slowly to brush across the expanse of your stomach, a small bump jutting out and ruining your chance of wearing any of your favorite jeans. You try to smile up at him, but as his hand rests against the very thing making you this anxious, you can't bring yourself to do it. Steve notices this as you set your hand on top of his own. It hits him, the cold hands, sad eyes, the dark silence, something was upsetting you. Upsetting you enough to hideaway so you don't have to face it.
"How was your trip?" you ask, avoiding the question as best you could but Steve doesn't care about if his trip was good or not. The whole time he only thought about coming back home to you and your soon to be little one. He didn't want to think about that trip ever again, he just wanted to spend time with you. When he doesnt respond to the question and instead calls your real name softly into the room, you realize he won't let this go.
"You're scaring me, what's going on?" he beckons, reaching to brush some hair out of your face and due to the hormones you are unable to stop the tears from rushing to your eyes, seeping down the sides of your face and into the pillows.
"The other day Mrs. Wheeler invited me to dinner since I was here all alone. She said she missed having us kids and wanted to have us all together for a night, especially while the kids were home from college. Nancy convinced me to go and I was excited. We laughed and had fun, even played a board game in the basement. Just like old times" you smile softly at him, eyes glimmering with tears and his eyebrows draw together in confusion, still not understanding where this had all taken a turn.
"Okay, that sounds fine. Actually a bit sad I missed out" Steve says witht he shake of his head, trying to find the detail that would cause such a sadness out of you.
"It got late and some of the kids started to drift to sleep. I realized I hadn't been in that basement since Max..." you dont need to finish as you get choked up on tears because Steve finally understands what happened. You sigh, hating how you tremble with tears shed for something that hasn't even happened.
"I'm terrified those things are going to come back one day and we wont be able to stop it. I'm terrified our kid will be unable to escape them just as us. I nearly lost you so many times, I faced injuries I still never fully recovered from. I remembered all the bad and I hate that in just a few short months my heart will be on the outside of my chest and I won't have any way to protect it" you cry, holding your stomach that held the child you already loved more than anything on this earth. You knew the minute he or she was born, they'd carry your heart with them forever and in a place like Hawkins, the risk was higher.
"Baby, the monsters are gone. Its been a long time since we've had to fight any of them. We can't worry too much, there will be things other than monsters our kid will have to face in life and we'll be here for every single one of them. The best we can do is teach our kids how to defend themselves and to trust us when things as scary as a demogorgon faces them" Steve reassures, pulling you closer to him. His words calm you only slightly but you had been left alone with these thoughts for far too long for them to go away that easily.
“I know, I just don’t think I’m ready to face that just yet” you whisper into the dark room and Steve sighs, loosening his grip on you so he can stand.
“What do you need from me?” he asks, wanting to be there for you while you work through this. He knows it’s normal and probably 50% hormones. A first time mother is meant to worry and if his words weren’t enough to reassure you he would do whatever else it was that could comfort you.
“Just, wait through the night with me” you tell him and he nods, toeing off his shoes and making quick work of unhooking the buckle of his belt. You watch him, in a much less shameless way, but more with admiration. You’re beautiful husband who somehow always looked more handsome than ever.
Once he’s stripped down to his boxers he crawls into his side of the bed, eyes catching the clock as he does. It’s so late but he’ll wait through the long night with you, wanting you to work through whatever these emotions were. When he settles behind you he feels the familiar shudder of your back that indicates warm tears and the start of bad dreams. The soft trembling of your shoulders against his chest as you relive old fears. He wished he could make you realize he was here, for all of it. Not just for tonight but for every moment after. That was half of him in there too and that terrified him every day. Being responsible for a kid when he never had any experience with good parents of his own.
"It's okay" he reassures, voice a soothing hush as he tries to coo you to sleep. It's comforting to have him back but those nightmares that you once pushed so deep down were at the surface again and no matter what Steve did, he couldn’t coax it out of you.
As Steve lays there, smelling the florals of your shampoo and feeling the warmth of your skin, he wonders what dating him had cost you. If you had never been together you wouldn't know about the darkness that lurks in Hawkins and had seen all of those horrible things. He had almost lost you, once a long time ago when fighting that very evil. That was the last time he ever wondered if his happiness was worth the nightmare. He wished you would have told him how bad it was, how deeply it affected you, but he also knew the exact position you were in. You had to bleed to know and all those sins are since past.
"You should be sleeping. It’s alright, sleep tight through the long night with me" he whispers, hand tucking your hair down against the pillow and pulling you tight against him. You relax into the comfort of his arms, enjoying the pressure his hold gives you. Like an anchor at sea.
"It's not your fault you know, I think I would've ended up finding out about the upside down even if I didn't know you. You didn’t start it" you tell him, eyes cast on the stereo on the other side of the room that glows as it plays the comforting music. Billy Joel who had now been both of your favorites. Steve loves how you know exactly what he's thinking even as you are fighting your own demons. This was the very reason he fell for you. No one on this earth understood him more than you. Becoming new parents already came with its own set of fears but knowing where you live adds so much more to that. Steve knows you're broken hearted from a long time ago and there is nothing he can do now to fix it but sit here and hold you.
"The way you hold me is all I need to know" Steve tells you and you offer up a soft smile, rolling to face him and wrap your arms around him as well. Hugging each other in the comfort of your home where you are soon to raise your kid. It’s late but you'll both wait through the long night with each other. Until the sun comes up and the demons from the past seem much less scary. When Steve's presence in the home has returned and you feel a layer of safety around the bubble you managed to pop in just three days. Your pregnant belly nudges against his own stomach and he grins, dropping a hand to cup gently over the bump.
"Did the work trip go okay?" you ask again, this time not as a distraction but as an actual investment into your husbands life.
"It was fine, lots of paperwork and a few drunk co-workers but we managed to sign off on a few deals. I just couldn’t wait to get back to you two" Steve says and your heart soars over the idea of there being more than just the two of you. In fact you couldn't wait for the day there was even more. Despite your fears the idea of a full home, kids as sweet as the ones you've protected over the years, was the real dream.
"We couldn't wait for you to get back either" you smile softly at him, leaning forward to press your lips against his in a sweet kiss. He sighs gently at the feeling, hand leaving your bump to tuck into your hair as he kisses you slowly. The very reunion kiss he had been desperately waiting on. You hum in delight, imagining a day your child is actually here to wait with you and be curled up in both of your arms. If someone had told you all those years ago when you met Steve in a record store, that you'd be having his kid, you would've begged for a time machine.
"You give any thoughts to a name yet?" he curiously asked, face so close now that you could admire the soft curve of his eyelashes. You don't even realize he has already distracted you from the sadness within. Mind moving further and further away.
"Possibly" you tease him with a cheeky grin and he laughs, squeezing softly at the dough of your waist before pulling you even closer. Your legs instantly tangle with his own.
"Care to share with the class?" he asks and you smile, moving your hands to brush the soft locks of hair out of his face. He watches you closely, admiring the extra glow you’ve had through this entire pregnancy. Happy you've taken the bait and have slowly started to calm in his arms. If only he knew how much you had spiraled throughout the entirety of this past weekend.
"If it’s a girl, I was thinking Clara" you tell him, hand mindlessly brushing down your tummy and yearning to actually touch the baby inside.
"And for a boy?" he asks and you smile, eyes shining into his own.
"What do you think of Johnny?" and just as you predicted, a look of shock paints his features as you mention his Grandfather's name. John Harrington, the very man who made Steve the kind and caring human he was today and the very man that introduced him to Billy Joel. In a sense you never would have met if it wasn't for that.
"It's perfect" he says and you smile, leaning forward and kissing him again. This time the kiss is less savory, more eagerness behind it due to the excitment of a baby boy or girl coming in just a few months.
"I knew you'd like it"
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faggot-greg-house · 8 months
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house is autistic i will accept no criticism
i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.
a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!
he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)
he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)
he stims constantly and he needs Sensations
he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc
he has a hard time making friends
he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)
he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)
he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)
he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)
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jazzyblusnowflake · 5 months
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In what ways do you believe V would display romance and affection?
V is... a difficult one smh. she hardly even allows anyone to touch her, and the solver had altered her AI beyond the possibility of her being able to relearn a new personality easily- or at least not overnight. Its like a semi-perminant trauma response.
so lets see-
V is prideful, even if she doesnt flaunt it like J, she couldnt bring herself to actually face people when shes doing something kind for them, she usually does it from behind the curtain. she doesnt want anyone to know she has anything soft about her, shes still scared of getting hurt, we have seen this several times during the show where she gets put off by the solver when Uzi uses it.
But when in a relationship she had to deal with the fact that the bond has to go both ways. it was... not easy for her to even admit she liked to be in a relationship in the first place. in fact i doubt if any of them even thought about it at all- before they knew what was happening they were all just an inseperable part of eachothers lives, and try as she might, N and Uzi just knew she cared about them lol.
V learned to open up a bit more. She opts for silence rather than flat out lying to peoples faces now, and when she feels ready to share something the others hear her out.
another thing that V does is trying to participate in things N and Uzi suggest. its really not easy to deal with 2 people who are so emotionally charged- so N and Uzi dont blame her for sitting out of activities but she tries to join them just to have the company, like going out around the desolate human cities looking for random stuff and sharing interests, or cuddling in a fort and doodling stuff- maybe even sometimes dancing or looking for clothes and getups. even though she might not participate in the activity herself, she still likes to be present and that itself shows N and Uzi that she cares.
speaking of clothes, Vs time with Lizzy showed her that a part of her still wishes she had the freedom to live as a normal drone for all the time that was robbed of her. she likes to look pretty and she likes to wear pretty outfits... something that she might have not had the choice on even if she had lived all her life as a normal drone. and showing the other two some of the outfits she choses and prettying herself up for her partners is probably a side of her shes not gonna willingly let anyone else see any time soon. N and Uzi arent complaining :p
Initiating any physical affections is something that she does rarely but sometimes even she craves the attention. Uzi and N feel like a cat had chosen to trust them lmao. She used to start really simple like curling her tail around N or Uzi or their leg or tail- she opted to skip hand holding and just go towards hugs or cuddles whenever she wanted the attention or N and Uzi were idly doing something and she just decides to join. sometimes she would demand neck scratches and rubs or head pats, she usually doesnt let anyone simply touch her so those are a big deal. and well if she goes for more like kisses or anything more intimate, she makes sure that her partners are okay with it and that shes not bothering them or forcing them by doing so.
Sleeping. thats it. V hardly allows herself to rest. the fact that she would let herself sleep around N or Uzi or even cuddle with them shows shes immensely trustful and happy of where she is right now. N and Uzi want to expload cuz its like a cat had fallen asleep on them and now they cant move cuz they dont wanna wake her up TvT
i think thats all i have for nowwww >:3
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roseworth · 3 months
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Any thoughts on Bart and Rose?
MANY
they make me so goddamn emotional. first of all bart being genuinely interested in being friends with her in a period of her life where she felt like no one really wanted her around.. like the titans kinda had to look after her and the older titans saw her as an unstable child that had to be taken care of (which is correct. but she didnt like that). but BART just looked at her and thought she was cool and wanted to hang out with her <3
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and him saying "its not like that" is sooo sweet bc he really just wanted to be friends with her 😭 ge*ff made their relationship sorta romantic but its so sweet that he saw her and said "idk how i feel about her but i just know i want to hang out with her <3"
also my fav thing ever is that he sees her screaming at donna and crying and goes "this is the perfect time to make my move 😎" its so fucking funny because then the NEXT time he sees her he does the exact same thing. she watched her foster parents get murdered in front of her and bart goes "hey rose! its me your friend!" ily bart. but he just keeps running into her at the absolute lowest points in her life and trying to be friends. like baby shes about to kill herself this is not the time to hang out...
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and then. GOD. HELLO. tt03 #12 makes me lose my fucking mind btw
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sobbing because hes the ONLY PERSON that ever reached out to her during this era. hes the only person that recognized there was something wrong and tried to help her. he knew her!!! he thought she was lying to slade because he couldnt believe she would do that. GOD.
it drives me insane that so many people who shouldve done something to help her just. didnt. but i understand that sometimes the story has to happen and they couldnt do it. thats FINE its FINE
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ooouuuuggaaagahguhhohuguhhoyhuguhhughggaghahhguhhuogouhghhggagghhguhuahgguhhohooouuauauhghggaagahhuhguhooouguhaggahghgh. im fine.
"rose was there. trying not to be like her dad. trying to be something else." ACK. OUCH. ok im fine.
then. titans of tomorrow 🤮
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scraps of what could've been....... i assume geoff had an arc in mind where the titans take rose back (they were at least kinda hinting at it in some of the stories) and i so badly want to know what would've happened. i like the renegade arc but i wish we got a story with the titans taking her back :((( i dont trust jeff geohns with anything but... in my imagination it would've been a great story with bart coming to get her and convincing her to leave her dad
and im still refusing to acknowledge the rest of the titans of tomorrow arc because that story is so goddamn stupid and boring. but theyre married or something in it idk
BUT. BUT BUT BUT. heres where i get insane
because ouuughhhh they could be besties but they just. keep missing each other. right person wrong time but platonically because oughhhh they first met when rose's life was just completely destroyed. then they meet again when rose's life was destroyed AGAIN. then!!!!!!!! when rose meets the team its right after bart leaves and later dies
throwing up and crying bc after rose dies we get so much of rose's favorite trauma response of suppressing it and pretending she doesnt care then trying to fuck someone
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someone that she considered a friend but hadnt been able to talk to in years dies and she says "LOL that funeral is so boring! haha bart meant nothing to me. im fine. stop talking about feelings and lets skinny dip right now. bart who" go off queen <3 she does not want to let herself feel any emotion so she represses it as hard as she can forever
(btw. i have complicated feelings about this bc as much as its in character for her to repress all her feelings with sexualizing herself,,,, ew. idk if this is johns or mckeever but its one of their faults and i know it because despite defining all the important aspects of her character theyre both so gross about her sometimes. men 👎 but thats a completely different rant)
ARRHCHHGGHFAHN.... THEN. titans of tomorrow (🤮) again
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bart spent this entire story saying she was awful and trying to murder her (they divorced i guess. stupid ass storyline i dont care) shes still sad to lose him again. this is literally the only time she lets herself mourn him and its right after hes been trying to kill her. there is so much wrong with her <3 <3 <3
also as i was looking for that panel i saw this one and i think its so silly:
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thats my girl!!! take no responsibility for anything ever and always find someone else to blame for your actions 💞 and bonus points for hating men !
anyways. then later the krul run happens and theyre both vaguely out of character but they FINALLY get to be friends again!!!!!! theyre buddies!!!!!!!!!!!! theyre hanging out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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besties bullying a 12 year old together <3
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also one of my favs because i know its supposed to be "haha barts being creepy to her XD isnt that so funny" but inside my head this moment is just bart getting so excited about being on a team with rose again that he refuses to let her miss any of the action. he grabs her hand and gets her into her costume and doesnt think anything of it because hes just so happy that he gets to hang out with his buddy <3 that wasnt the writers intention. but it is to me
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if youre willing to exaggerate. they r so besties here. they are taking every opportunity to hang out because they finally get to be buddies :') we still get to see bart just genuinely liking her and once again he just thinks shes cool and wants to hang out with her <3333 theyre so much fun
and i cant keep looking for screenshots because reading the end of this book bums me out since the new52 happened and they couldnt finish any of the arcs they had planned. lili worth i miss you every day
anyways yeah to answer your question. i love bart & rose 👍 the way hes one of the only people that just. likes her. hes the first person (ish) that reaches out to her after her mom died when she was at a very low point in her life and he continues to just enjoy her company and like her as a person which doesnt happen a lot <///3 there are so few people that like her and want to spend time with her and just genuinely think shes a good person but bart always does!!!!! barring t*tans *f t*morrow bart always likes her and always thinks highly of her when no ones else does 💞💞💞 theyre so sweet and i want them to interact again
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paintbrushnebula · 4 months
Text
I think now that Tangled the Series has been over for the better part of four years now, what makes me sad the most is that there were enough pieces left behind by the film to construct a compelling narrative for a strong continuation of Rapunzel and Eugene's story that wouldn't have required all this "bigger and more epic" stuff that the series made up in order to be interesting. 
And you can have big epic magical stuff, that's fine! I LOVE epic large-scale stories! But there's a difference between expanding your world by further developing its elements and themes, and just scaling up the adventure tenfold to be “bigger and better”—which is what I feel that the series did in the end. 
It’s funny, because I was already a fan of Tangled when I was little. I still remember being 7 years old sitting in that theater with my sister, actually breathless and in shock when Eugene drew his last breath. I had never seen a kids movie where a lead character dies.
(and I know that sounds absurd because there were Disney films before where a lead character dies and comes back XD look I was 7 and my parents weren’t people who knew many pop culture American movies at the time so I didn’t watch much that wasn’t Disney Channel or VHS films that my Grandma owned. To this day I’m still kind of trying to catch up on film culture XD)
Sorry to get off track but what I’m trying to say is, I was there when the series was announced and they revealed that promo art back in 2016, I saw the 30 second promo trailer, I watched “Wind in my Hair” when it was released on Youtube in February 2017 the morning before school and I was hyped for the rest of the day, and I remember watching Before Ever After’s premiere with my sister and was FLOORED that it was good??!! Like actually was gonna have a serialized overarching story and everything! God I’ll never forget Eugene’s verse where he pulls out that ring. I’ll never forget Rapunzel’s face when he gives her his proposal speech (before it went downhill that is), and I’ll always forget the last 25 minutes that take place  after Rapunzel’s hair grows back because its low-key pretty heckin boring! 
What hyped me was the relationship stuff, Rapunzel’s PTSD, the parent drama, everything that those first 30 minutes had that made me THINK we were in for an emotional story about Rapunzel’s life after the tower, I thought we’d get to see in detail how she’s gonna to grapple with her trauma, her new life, her new responsibilities, her new relationships, all that. And some of the series was that, a very small “some.” Not enough by any means for me lol
Because like, wouldn’t that have been a more interesting story to tell than the one we got? Ultimately Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure doesn’t feel like a continuation of Rapunzel’s story, it’s more like a Brand New Adventure that happens star Rapunzel and Eugene Fitzherbert. I know that sounds weird and I might not be making much sense here but, did the story of a girl who stops a plague of darkness and fights a transdimensional demon blueberry ghost girl and has to reconcile with her “step-sister” HAVE to be about Rapunzel? Also like, just. NOTICE how that summation of the story of the series DOESNT involve Eugene in some way. You know. The hecking CO-LEAD of the film this series is based on. 
And like, there was so much story to be told with Rapunzel and Eugene WITHOUT the blueberry Disney Junior-giving ghost girl, the poorly written heavily contrived step-sister conflict, AND the big plague of darkness nonsense. Rapunzel and Eugene are two VERY tragic individuals. DO SOMETHING WITH THEM, IOUHWO4Y2IBBU3FN3FI
I’ll admit that I was more attached to the series than I was to the movie while it was airing, and even for like 2 years after it was over. I was younger and more immature and the big stakes and fresh new characters and magical adventures captivated me more than the focused drama of the movie. But now that I’m older, I realize that I resonate more with Rapunzel in the movie. NOT in any concerning “do you need help?” Kind of ways, just that I find myself thinking the way she thought, since I’m now around the age she was in the movie. The way I think about my future, my self esteem etc. I relate to how she feels inexperienced and fresh in the world despite being a young adult, because she hasn’t done any of those “big things” yet. And you wonder “how am I gonna do those big things? When do they happen? Will I know what to do when they happen?” I get it, Rapunzel, I really do. 
The series is kinda an afterthought to me now I guess. I still appreciate that it exists and I’m so happy it happened. In the beginning, it didn’t feel real when it was happening. Like a dream honestly. And like, Tangled the Series is literally 80% the reason I wanted to write fiction, so I’ll always be grateful for it. 
But holy kriff is the movie so much better heeheeeeeeeeee
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redr0sewrites · 1 year
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HEY!
So, I really liked your two Aaravis fics, and I have an idea/request. You don't have to do it if you don't feel like it of course.
So there is that dark mark on Aaravos's chest. And we know that it became dark after his imprisonment. Now the idea is that the reader either knew Aaravos *before* it lost it's shine, and like, later got trapped in the mirror too and reunited with him, or maybe met him in the mirror and asked about the mark. And like, asks Aaravos why it lost it's shine, and after hearing about the things, instead of looking at him differently, or scared, they see that Aaravos is sad, so they preform a little trick. So they make a little light ball, making it look like they took it out of their heart and then place it on Aaravos's chest (where the dark star is), and saying that "It's okay, you can have my light" or something like that, idk....
Like, the concept is just reader accepting that darkness, and cherishing it and all that cheezy, fluffy stuff. Like I said, you aren't obliged to write this, this is just a random idea my maladaptive daydreamer self came up with. Have a lovely day, take care, and thanks for feeding us Aaravos fans with your lovely work!
AAAA TYSM THIS REQ IS SO GREAT!!! I love this idea, it made me so excited ajsjdj HOPE U ENJOY!
🥀CW: angst (with happy ending), fluffiness, aaravos being insecure, mentions of trauma and suffering/containment
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when the news of aaravos' imprisonment reached you, you were shocked. how could he have been discovered, he had been so careful and meticulous in his planning, and all of his motives were for the good of humanity! you, and many other elves who supported him were not only surprised, but also outraged. to trap a startouch elf, to take your lover away from you... you knew you could never rest until you could see him again. years of pulling strings, gaining popularity, playing the puppeteer behind the scenes had led you to this moment. you had fought for centuries, sacrificed so much to see him again, and here you finally were. before you stood aaravos, your star touch lover, in all of his glory. it had been so long, and your heart seemed to sing at the sight of him. and yet, something was different.
when aaravos first saw you, he thought he was in a dream. you had appeared to him on so many nights, only to fade away once the morning came, slipping through his fingers like sand. the memory of you, your face, your voice, your touch, it all felt like a painful distant nightmare that played throughout his head every single time he closed his eyes. he had missed you so, so much, yet he knew he had changed. not only mentally, years of imprisonment had long since broken him, but physically as well. the glowing star on his chest had faded from a shimmering splendor to a cold ember, with nothing of its former glory remaining. he couldnt help but feel ashamed at its bleak emptiness, a disgusting mark of his failure and imprisonment. however, he would not focus on it now. you were here, in front of him, and he was free.
"my star.. is it truly you?" his voice was soft, broken and cracked from the emotions swelling inside him. you didnt dare open your mouth, knowing you would probably begin to sob and nodded, your eyes were already brimming with tears. the both of you rushed forward suddenly, throwing your arms around eachother and weeping with joy. you both stayed like that for a while, entangled in eachother and whispering softly. you werent sure how long you layed there on the floor, however it soon began to grow dark. ever so gently, aaravos layed the two of you onto the floor, his hands shaking as though afraid he would break you. as you stared at him, you couldn't help but ponder a certain change on your lovers skin.
"where did it go?" you ask softly, motioning towards his chest. he looked at you in confusion and you added for clarification, "what happened to the star on your chest? why doesnt it glow anymore?" you couldn't help but feel you made a mistake, as you watched the flicker of shame and disgust cross your lovers face.
"it faded, along with most of my powers, when i, well.. when i fell and was imprisoned" aaravos answered softly. his voice was so fragile, barely a whisper as he spoke. "it is simply a blight upon my skin, a mark of my failure and punishment. a cruel scar. it paints me as nothing but a lightless monster, a burden, and a villain." disdain and self disgust seemed to leak from his voice, and he shuddered as he spoke. pain filled your heart at his words and you reached out to rest a hand on his chest. you wished there was a way to undo all the centuries of pain and trauma the both of you had endured while separated, and you wished you could help him understand his beauty.
"you are none of those things aaravos, that is just what the other dragons and elves want you to believe. however, i know that you are special, beautiful, and so, so strong because of your differences and you have fought and suffered for what you believe in. this star is a mark of your perseverence, and it is nothing to ever be ashamed of." you gently pulled your hand away, and placed it on your own chest. using some simple magic, you made your own hand glow with a soft orb of white light resting on your palm.
"you don't have to bear the weight and darkness of your burdens alone. let me share my light with you, and share your darkness with me." you reached out, pressing the glowing ball against his chest and watched a small, pained smile break through the sadness and doubt that had resided on aaravos' face, and he covered your hand with his.
"thank you my love, thank you for finding me, and for always reminding me of the light and the love that we share." he leaned in, resting his unoccupied hand on your cheek and pressed his forehead against yours lovingly.
"i love you until the end of time, and i believe that our love will last as eternal as the light that we share." his words seemed to touch your very soul, and released a flutter from your heart. for years you had drowned in your own misery, but you felt like you could finally breathe again. he was back, and you two were reunited. nothing would stand in your way every again, and neither of you would ever be separated by anyone or anything.
I HOPE THIS WAS TOO YOUR LIKING, THIS WAS SUCH A COOL REQ THANKS FOR REQUESTING!!! REQS ARE STILL OPEN, FEEL FREE TO REQUEST ANYTIME! this was such an emotional thing to write, and i genuinely really like this lmao tysm for the idea and inspiration!
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WIBTAH for sending my (21NB) SIL (20F) stuff to help with her pregnancy when her mom said she doesn't want us to?
✨️✨️✨️❣️✨️✨️✨️ <- so i can recognise the post
so for some context, SIL didn't tell us she was 2 months pregnant until last night. She'd been planning on moving across the country (we live in the USA so across country is 3000~ miles/4500~ km) to go live with her boyfriend (22M) for a while now. None of us wanted her to go regardless but now that we know she's pregnant we wish she were here even more so we could help with anything she needs. She left this morning for her flight across country with a guy our family barely knows - some of us only learned his name last night.
my MIL - her mom - says she was gonna send her a car before finding out about the pregnancy but since SIL said she's gonna go to school and work online cus she wants to stay home with the baby, the mom doesn't want to send her a car that the idiot who got her pregnant (and was the one who convinced her not to tell us about it) is gonna end up using instead of her.
so, i brought up sending her some stuff to show her that she has people here who will help her (even if she is across the country) and show she's not alone. MIL was worried it would convince her to stay there. My worry is that not giving her any help will push her to stay over there where she doesn't know anyone instead of staying with family or, at least, someone she knows better than her bf of a few months.
I know she doesn't like it here, and at first I supported her moving out before I found out it was across the country with a guy she met *This Year* (2023 when submitted - idk how long thisll take to post). I don't think she should have to stay in this house, I understand she has trauma here and I fully support her moving out but the thought of her alone and pregnant on the other side of the country where she has absolutely no one other than her bf (who doesnt seem to be taking this situation seriously At All) and his family - who none of us have ever met - is just terrifying.
I dont think what I want to send her is something that would end up being a present for the boyfriend instead of her like the car. I have a pregnancy pillow from a surgery I had last year and thought even if she ends up not wanting it, sending it to her would at least show her that she's not alone and we still love and care about her from all the way over here. It isn't much and I don't think it's anything that would convince her to stay over there so I don't see why it should be a problem.
For full transparency, I *do* hope sending her support might convince her to come back, even if she doesn't move back into the house, I hope she doesn't stay in a place with a guy who clearly isn't ready to help, people she doesn't know, new rules, new everything. It all just seems too stressful under regular circumstances, let alone during her first-ever pregnancy. That being said, her staying or going is her choice, all of us agreed that trying to force her to stay/come back would only stress her out more and would be bad for her and the baby.
for extra context- when i say we dont know the bf at all, i mean it. i met him yesterday, the rest of the family has met him 2, maybe 3 times. he made a speech last night at dinner that only made me worry more, "I may not be the best for her", "Yeah, I'm in school but I'm not studying anything right now" (wtf does that even mean????), apparently he wants to be a cop (which i dont like personally) but isnt doing anything to accomplish that? and when FIL asked if we could visit her, he completely waffled as if he had never thought of the fact that we would like to go see her?? and her child??? Everyone throughout dinner made it very clear to him that we Don't know him and we're entrusting the baby of the household, the Princess of the household, with him - all of this was before we even knew she was pregnant. He didn't even tell the dad about the pregnancy before they left, he made MIL do it.
tl;dr- SIL's bf convinced her not to tell her family she was pregnant until the night before she moves across the country to live with him. I want to send her stuff to help with her pregnancy & show her she's not alone & we're here to help with whatever she needs but MIL worries sending her things will convince her that she doesnt need to come back home, i worry that not sending her anything at all will make her not want to come back at all.
What are these acronyms?
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ultra-raging-ghost · 9 months
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Just saw your post about demon trio GAAAHH they are my Roman Empire. The moment when Mouse approached Bad when he was brain resetting in a little patch of flowers he placed down, how close they shifted to each other, it felt so ALIEN and and and cool and I’m so NORMALLL. And when Tina splashed herself with perfume and when she had that role play moment when (idk if it was canon or a character) she was SO OBSESSED with going to heaven, I think she was born a demon, and SOMEHOW acquired religious trauma along the line probably as a child. Born a demon left at an orphanage door idk and they made all the kids go to church or something and Tina was OBSESSED because it gave order and meaning to her life but she was a demon and-
Ok right questions. Sorry, gah I love demon trio. I need an arc where Mouse and Bad get together and try to help Tina. Love how Bad hides the fact he’s a demon not because he hates himself for it (maybe a little) but because he’s a recognizable wanted fucking criminal. Where was I going with this again?
Do you have any thoughts on them? ;v; (sorry for rambling in the ask D: )
AAAA I LOVE LONG ASKS LIKE THIS
okay i TOTALLY agree with you have so many thoughts, i was literally just thinking the same thing last night!!! The absolute difference in upbringing as far as the demons really shows in how they act and i have sooooo so many thoughts about it!!!
So first off, i dont really know how old mouse is in terms of her lore but as far as BBH is concerned hes fucking weird and is constantly alluding to his existence extended FAR before the universe even existed, hell even time and space, we dont actually know what the fuck his deal in full is actually!!! What we do know is he was summoned to Earth roughly eleven to fourteen thousand years ago!
Mouse gives us not as much age-wise from what ive heard but she has expressed that she considers two thousand year olds to be "baby" not quite baby but like VERY young! (I have a personal HC that bad's summoning let loose a new age of demons, maybe not all at once but very quickly so mouse would probably be over ten thousand years old)
Tina gives us absolutely NOTHING she doesnt like talking about her demon ancestry aside from hiding it (when bagi said mouse taught her how to smell demons tina quickly panicked and doused herself in perfume, etc etc. nothing super explicit from what ive seen but im relatively new to her lore). But i personally have a hc that shes roughly three thousand years old, coming into existence around the Middle Ages in 1000 CE. That might seem extremely young but honestly thats what im going for for her!!! super extremely young!!! and born around the time when Catholicism was popular!
In my mind, they all have very much different reasons for acting the way they do and im soooooo ill about it
As a BBH main i have the most information on him so ill be talking about the lore i know from him first before getting into the other two lovely ladies!! So what we've heard from BBH is that he prefers to "hide" his demonic features and "blend in" with humans as much as possible if he can, obviously he doesnt do very good at this but hes old as shit and very powerful so like who's gonna tell him??? From what we've heard of his lore, Bad is the cause of a LOT of minor and major disasters in history; Mt Vesuvius (who he named after a dead lover) exploding, the plague taking out most of europe (which he was a plague doctor for), and alongside other major things theres some minor events as well! Small wars he's been present in such as the HG war he was in with cellbit very recently, various other wars he eluded to that he recalled "blended together" because there were so many, that time he went to medical school for 15 minutes just to do brain surgery on that president on a boat.... he also knows a lot of major historical figures and hes been EVERYWHERE, we actually have a rough timeline of where he's been and when just based on who he knows. He knew not only the fucking guy who created the study of viruses, HIS ASS KNOWS ISAAC NEWTON..... and i think once he alluded to knowing goddamn adam and eve, maybe even being the snake in the goddamn garden. Considering its cannon to his lore that he was the angel locked beneath the euphrates river i wouldnt be surprised at that point.
All this to say: Bad has been present for and had an active hand in a LOT of major and minor disastrous historical events, and hes repeatedly talked about how people would chase him with torches and pitchforks - even referring to that activity as "therapy" and said thats the reason he doesnt believe in therapy, because it hurts and doesnt do anything for him except get him running.
Bad does not personally feel shame about his demonic features, he's used to hiding them (or at least intending to.... hes doing a bad job at it) for his own personal safety, because his role as >>>>A) a demon and B) the fucking ferryman of death<<<< brings him a LOT of negative attention. Negative attention that he's had to deal with ALONE for a majority of his existence, up until about fourteen thousand years ago.** (**A major event i feel caused a new era of Demons, we will talk about it more through the post)
Moving on to Mouse; i mention bad's role as a demon having an affect on negative things around him because i honestly think that applies to all or most demons. I don't know much about mouse's lore, but i do know shes proud of her heritage to some degree, is unashamed to tell people shes a demon, and will even actively teach people things about her species (Bringing back Bagi again - We know in cannon Demons smell like Sulfur, its been stated pomme and dapper and bad and mouse and tina all smell like it, and we can assume empanada also does or is starting to).
I, to some degree, think the beginning of her existence was much more accepting and inviting, while bad dealt with his negative experiences alone, and tina had her own upbringing we'll get into, Mouse came into existence during a "Dark" age, when bad was summoned to earth there was a wave of the newest generation of demons being spawned into this world(not in a "father of all demons" way but more in a "large expressions of magic often lead to a ripple affect of more magic" way). A lot of shit probably happened, im not insane like badboyhalo im not gonna research what happened but theres probably some kinda major event that happened. Demons born around that era probably had some kind of support system or way of existing that was underground enough for them to not be wiped out, but they had enough freedoms that mouse and others probably felt comfortable enough to express demonic traits.
I like to think this was the era of her life that had the most influence over her existence, that she was created with pride and will ALWAYS have that pride in her species, it may be dampened but it will never go away fully!*
*I like to think shes experienced maybe some shame over her species when it comes to minor historical events that shes contributed to by just being present, but it very rarely lasts longer than the event itself.
Tina, as far as im concerned, is the youngest of the demon trio aside from their kids. I kinda write her akin to Amethyst from SU, her existence was very recent and she was alone with very little or no initial support system, she was brought up thinking she was "wrong" in some way, her teeth and nails were too sharp, and she has horns and sometimes her skin has a purpleish hue to it that make other people think theres something wrong with her. She has a VERY obviously christian/catholic upbringing which was brought to light recently in one of her conversations with foolish. She's always felt shame about her species and she probably would have continued if it wasnt for mouse and bad, but ESPECIALLY if it wasnt for Empanada.
I have my own thoughts on the demon babies that we'll get into later, but after gaining her daughter who is very much going to be a demon (two demon parents, obvious demon child lol) i cant help but wonder how tina's planning on pushing aside her feelings of shame to make Empanada feel welcomed and loved regardless of her species?
Tina's very young, of course shes seen some major events in history but shes never been raised in community, she probably didnt even know thats just something that comes with the horns until very recently! I can imagine bad and mouse joking and giggling about that town that they stayed the night in that caught fire the next day that they got chased out of a couple hundred years ago, and i can imagine tina being confused as to why they found that amusing, is that normal? Tina's always had minor disasters follow her, her home town very likely burned down or got sick following or preceding a major milestone in her life, and thats probably continued to happen over the thousands of years shes been alive! Being a demon brought up in a very anti-demon environment, whos to say she even knew there were other demons out there really? She was a curse from god, she brought nothing but poor luck and sickness to her household (which i agree with you she was probably residing in an orphanage), she brought it everywhere she went. I cant help but ask myself "did she feel relief that it wasnt just her, or even more shame finding out this is a common occurrence for demons?"
Now thats most of what i have regarding the parents but i have a few notes on the demon kids. I think all the eggs have some sort of demonic features, obviously bads a huge influence on all of them and they care about him as their tia so i draw most of the babies with horns and tails of some kind, but i am particularly focusing on Dapper, Pomme and Empanada, the three demon babies whos actual official parents are the demons.
I dont have anything too specific for them, but i do believe they will grow up to have an attitude towards their species akin to how Mouse acts.
Unlike other demons or even their parents growing up, they have a support system and parents to explain to them things that will happen to them as they get older! They'll have someone to come back to, who will explain "Yes, that village got the plague because you walked through it and the sulfur you spread supernaturally brought illness and bad luck. No, its not your fault in particular. No, you shouldn't stop going into towns and villages, its the 21st century and if they cant stop the plague by now then they were gonna die anyway"
When they inevitably get shunned by humans for their species, they have someone to come back to to let them know that that wasnt right, but its a part of what happens to people like us. Maybe some day we wont have to experience that anymore, but right now the most important thing is to not get caught, and come home to your Mama so we can give you bandaids for your knees and treat your wounds.
I'm so very invested in how the demon babies will be brought up by their parents, i hope we get more demon lore in the future </3
This turned into an essay, hope thats alright njkbhjvgchfg i have so many thoughts on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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it’s midnight and i just. i have this stuck in my head.
steve who’s used to every little disagreement turning into a big fight so he snaps/yells at reader and when they don’t return that fight and just kind of shutdown steve panics and feels so so guilty
my love you hit me in the soft spot. i cry so hard whenever anyone even slightly yells at me.
tw: not a lot but i thought id put one to make sure everyones safe <3: bit of a disagreement, reader with vague past relationship trauma if you squint, sensitive reader, anxious reader, oblivious steve, in love steve, steve in general. if anything from above is something you cant handle right now thats perfectly okay and ill see you next time!
steve is very very very gentle. hes calm and collected and mostly rational. so arguments are extremely rare.
but today steve was tired. oh so tired. and he missed you. so much. so when you were being almost silent on the car ride home from the bi-weekly dinner with the kids, robin and eds, he was freaking out.
the waitress was very subtly flirting with him. in a way where only the girls at the table knew what was going on.
of course steve had no interest in her, for gods sake. he didnt even look at her for more than two seconds.
you werent mad at him. no, he handled it very well. he passed all the tests. you were just sad. comparing yourself to the blonde waitress. thinking about how many people want him that you dont even know about. the little voice in your head saying “why does he want you?” and looking for signs of infidelity, coming back emptyhanded as always, shamefully reminding you that hes not your past relationships.
so no you werent mad at him. you were mad at you.
but we all know hes a little bit… slow sometimes. so that doesnt even occur to him.
what if you lost interest in him? what if you think hes annoying? why are you mad at him?
his fears only heightening when you give him a small smile when he opens the front door for you, instantly heading to the kitchen to get some water, hoping itll make you feel better.
“whats your problem tonight?”
oh.
“…what?” and you stare directly down at the countertop because you can already feel yourself tearing up at his tone.
“what do you mean ‘what?’. youve been acting weird since we left.”
he really doesnt mean for it to sound so angry, if you listened a little closer you might be able to hear the desperation in his voice.
“…the waitress”
“what?”
“she was flirting with you.
“what?”
he throws his head back and puts his hands to his face in exasperation. before realizing that youre a little too quiet… and shaking?
his tone brought back memories and fear. fear that he would just find someone else since you were bothering him. and youd be left alone again, but only this time unable to pick up the pieces.
and now hes horrified because he didnt mean to sound angry, he was just frustrated and didnt even think about how sensitive his girl was to things like that.
but you were too far gone now. your ears ringing and your breath escaping you. fighting back tears with every bone in your body, and losing said fight.
and so you turned around to look at him. and your eyes betray you once more. instantly filling with tears that make steves face drop and heart fall.
“m’sorry steve” but your voice falters and breaks before the first sob racks through your body, walking as quickly as you can to his bedroom to clean yourself up.
HES FREAKING OUT SO BAD
he feels absolutely awful. poor man starts crying too, but makes himself stop for his apology, not wanting to scare you further.
following behind you and knocking on his own door.
“babydoll, can i come in?”
youre standing in front of his mirror. eyes puffy and red and shaking. you knew steve wouldnt leave. you knew he wasnt like that. but you were crying anyways, which only made you cry more out of embarrassment.
“…yeah” you call weakly, still not looking up as he opens the door.
his arms are around you instantaneously
“‘m so sorry baby i didnt mean to sound angry, i wasnt thinking. im sorry.”
“its okay, im sorry i-”
“no, you have nothing to be sorry for. you’re allowed to get sad. theres nothing wrong with it, id never judge you for that. i was just being… stupid cause i didnt get it y’know? i mean i literally am horrifyingly in love with you. im like obsessed with you… not in a weird way…. anyways! and i get jealous all the time. like everyday, even over small things. that barista the other day? coulda killed that guy. y’had me studying how to make lattes babe.”
and of course youre giggling. his polo shirt saturated with tears and pure joy.
“i love you so much.”
“i love you most. i know you dont really think id look at anyone but you, right? but if you need confirmation i will go and take back the tip we gave that lady.”
more giggles.
and that was the difference. steve embraced your sensitivity. he loved it actually. loved the way you care about things. love the way you pick up on energies before anyone else. loves everything about you. including some of the not so pretty things.
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