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#truly my favourite fic i've ever written
panevanbuckley · 2 years
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i can't believe don't blame me, love made me crazy is a year old today! where does the time go?! it feels like only yesterday i was such pure jegulus trash 😭
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industrations · 2 months
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will you ever draw masc sirius? not to compare artists but recently i've just noticed masc sirius pics get more notes and ppl get more pissed off bc of fem sirius. it's ok if you draw fem wolfstar (fem sirius AND fem remus) but it's kinda weird you only draw remus masc. kinda heteronormative. when wolf is gay. plus canonically sirius was masc and remus was fem (sirius was the biker and remus was short.) it's ok you're more into fanon but canon is real so i'm just curious if you will ever draw masc sirius. if you will it'll be very cool and i'm sure you'll get more notes too.
This is the LAST time I'm going to be talking about this because I'm so TIRED of this debate.
Firstly, the "canon" you speak of is written by this person. So think before you start arguing anything about canon.
Then, since apparently some of you still cannot read. I DO NOT DRAW FOR YOU; I DRAW FOR ME. I could not care less about notes or likes or popularity. I'm just here to have fun and enjoy my time. That you are so concerned about notes is your own problem, not mine, but I suggest you change that because notes do not equal any sort of value, and this mindset is just going to be bad for anyone's mental health.
My favourite thing as a person whose gender is literally all over the place is getting to express that through the characters I draw. For ME, this mainly happens through Sirius because his "canon" is this very HETERONORMATIVE man. The freedom of him being able to step away from that and to be allowed to be whatever he wants to be on that day is just wonderful. Sirius, for me, is a reminder that no matter what you're born as or whatever people say you should be, it does not say anything about how you feel or express yourself.
Remus will forever keep evolving for me. He's also allowed to be whoever he wants to be. When I read fics he looks different in every single one. And if you actually paid attention to my art, you can see that he does not always look the same. For me, Remus is a comfort. He will always be a long, wet noodle with bad knees to me. He will always have his scars and his freckles, and those are what make him beautiful. I'm not sure why people immediately assume this is something that makes him "the man" or "the top". If that's what you're thinking when you see them, then there's something gone wrong on your side because you are deciding what a queer relationship is supposed to look like, when in fact you are the one being homophobic and heteronormative.
Also that my Sirius is shorter and more gender-y so to say, does not mean he can't kill a bitch on sight. He could break Remus in half in a second if he wanted to.
Anyway, I'm off to draw some dead gay wizards in whatever way I want to <3 love you guys. Truly the majority of you make me feel safe and seen, and I couldn't have wished for a more supportive community
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smileysuh · 7 months
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ghostie - TEASER
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🌙 staring. Johnny x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. As one am rolls around, you start to realize that maybe tonight you won’t get a call. He is a frat boy, and this is Halloween weekend.  You’re disappointed as you get into bed, frowning as you scroll on your phone, hoping that if you wait another five minutes, maybe he’ll catch you. Five minutes turns into ten, turns into fifteen, and you find your eyes beginning to shut. You’re starting to understand how much you truly have come to depend on Ghostie as part of your nightly ritual. It hurts not to get a call from your favourite voice-modulated anonymous frat boy.
tw/cw. yandere/stalker subthemes, unknown caller, weed use, multiple reader orgasms, big dick!Johnny, oral, pussy eating, blowjob, deep throating, spit as lube, fingering, hand riding, dacryphilia, praise, dirty talk, cum/fullness kink, unprotected sex, heavy grinding, dick bulge, creampie, rough groping, slight restraint, size kink, submissive reader, subspace, dumbification, hair pulling, finger sucking, etc… I pet names: (hers) Tiny, good girl, pretty girl. (his) Ghostie.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 15k
🍭 aus. uni/frat au, yandere subthemes, Halloween, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. this might just be the best John fic I've ever written, or maybe I just need therapy
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“Mark told me you’re probably a stalker, said I should maybe block your number.”
“I don’t have a number, if I did, that would be too easy for you. I’m an unknown caller… can you even block unknown callers?” 
“I guess we’ll find out when I block you.”
“Won’t happen though. What did you do after your class with Mark?”
“Are you really that interested in my day?” 
“I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t interested.”
He’s a cocky softy, who would have imagined. 
You wonder what you ever did to make this guy so sweet on you- you’ve dated men who don’t even care to ask you how your day went, and this guy is out here doing it practically for free.
“Classes were okay, my sorority had a little fundraiser at lunch, we baked cupcakes.”
“They were good cupcakes.” 
“Wait…” your stomach churns a little. “You stopped by?”
“I’m a sucker for cupcakes, and how cute your butt looks in blue jeans.”
You search your memory, counting how many NCT boys came through around lunch. You realize that there were far too many for it to do any good in deciphering which one is the man you’re currently talking to.
“Did we talk?”
“You talked to everyone who bought something. I’m not special.”
Except… he kind of is special, in a way you can’t truly explain… not yet anyways.
“Maybe you are a stalker,” you decide.
“I can promise you I’m not, but I bet you’d be kind of into it if I was.”
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☀️ to read the full fic AND 2.5k bonus NOW, subscribe to my Patreon, then click here
👹 or wait till the fic is posted on tumblr Friday the 13th of October
🔮 see what’s already available to read on my m.list
reply or reblog to let me know you want to be tagged when it's posted
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avocadorablepirate · 1 month
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What Do We Call This? - 01
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mini masterlist || next
Pairing: Trafalgar Law x fem!reader
Summary: On a quest to find what you've been looking for, you acquire the help of the Straw Hat pirates, who've agreed to let you temporarily join them. There are however many challenges that come along with your temporary recruitment - an alliance with a certain Trafalgar Law being one of them.
Word Count: 1.9K
Warnings: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn, swearing. OP spoilers (especially in this chapter). Probably shouldn't read if you haven't watched/read the Punk Hazard Arc.
A/N: 16 year old me is rolling in her grave, ready to resurrect from the dead, unalive me, and take my place because both she and I cannot believe that we are back here writing fics about a fictional man. We also cannot believe that our writing style has not changed one bit. It's honestly quite disappointing.
Anyway, this chapter kinda sucks (proof read, but for sure there are mistakes somewhere there), and the others probably will too (all I've written after this is my favourite part, the rest is up to fate and my willpower to continue writing). But, if it comes to it we can always just erase all of this, and act like none of this ever happened.
Why is it called 'What Do We Call This?" you ask? Because I honestly don't know what the fuck to call this.
—⁠☆✿☆—⁠
She found herself being welcomed onto the pirate ship, despite the fact that just a few days ago she was after their lives. It was truly a strange turn of events that had unfurled in the blink of an eye.
"If that's where you want to go then we'll take you! If I'm going to be Pirate King I'll have to visit every island anyway!" The captain had said without a second thought when she had asked them whether she could tag along for a short while.
To put it briefly she had met the crew at Fishman Island, initially with the intent to get rid of them. However, after certain explanations about memories that she did not want to dive into for the 2nd time that week, and some forgiveness on the part of the pirates, she was now onboard the Thousand Sunny, on her way to the new world, fulfilling her initial goals.
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The Straw Hats ship had docked at Punk Hazard on getting a call from someone on their Den Den Mushi. Luffy having picked it up without any hesitation had decided that he was going to help whoever it was.
A lot had happened since then. You had been captured along with Nami, Sanji, Chopper and Franky, and had found yourselves in a metal chamber along with the head of a samurai who was somehow still alive, despite lacking an entire lower body. Franky and Sanji had managed to break open the cell, allowing for your escape, but as all of you looked for a way out you ran into some children in what looked like a nursery. You had then escaped with the children, who had begged you to take them with you, but on exiting from the front you ran into a pirate named Trafalgar Law and the Marines. The group's interaction with the two was short, quickly choosing to find another exit.
Law, you thought to yourself as you kept running. You had heard the name before but couldn't quite remember when. You were however pulled out of your thoughts when from the corner of your eye you saw a thin blue orb surround the four Straw Hat pirates. You watched in shock as the hearts of the pirates were switched.
What had just happened?
You took a quick glance at the people behind you, had this been the work of the Marines or the pirate Trafalgar Law?
What you found was the pirate, frozen in place, staring at you as if he had seen a ghost. He had been caught off guard perhaps, not realising that there was someone else with the Straw Hats. But, he was quick to snap out of it, turning away and focusing his attention on the Marines at hand. You too turned back around, a small smile on your face despite the situation. You remembered now, where you had heard the name. What were the chances that you would finally meet him after all these years, you thought to yourself as you lightly touched the strap of your hood.
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Everyone was now hiding out in a cave behind the research facility you had been trapped in, the situation having completely changed.
You had reunited with the rest of the Straw Hats and Trafalgar Law had also joined the group with the intention of forming an alliance with the Straw Hats. You couldn't help but laugh to yourself when Luffy had readily accepted, thinking back to when he had gladly welcomed you onto his ship, despite the few protests from the rest of the crew.
Your laughing caught the attention of the captain of the Heart Pirates, and you were quick to regain your composure, giving him a quick smile as he eyed you. His attention then turned back to Luffy, but his hand pointed at you, "Who's that?"
Luffy looked from Law to you and back, his smile stretching from ear to ear, "Oh! This is (Y/N). She was trying to kill us," he says, his smile not letting up while Usopp and Nami yell at him for the introduction while you, Robin and Franky laugh, Chopper too stunned to speak. Usopp then explains to him that you've temporarily joined them, not going into further details.
Trafalgar Law was obviously not expecting that for a response, almost in complete shock that someone could be dumb enough to welcome an assassin onto their ship. However, he didn't address it, there were other things that needed to be dealt with, he would just have to be wary of you.
You, Nami and Usopp had volunteered to stay back and watch over the children. However, Caesar Clown himself had come to attack you. Unable to land an attack on him the three of you were knocked out and he took the children back with him leaving the three of you and Brownbeard behind. Luckily, the four of you had managed to escape and were now back inside the research facility with everyone else.
It was a strange group of people; pirates, Marines, a few of Caesar's subordinates, and whatever you were. However, given the situation everyone had decided to work together to escape the gas, defeat Caesar Clown and save the children, but you sensed that Trafalgar Law had other intentions as well.
Initially with the task of helping find the children, you stuck with Nami, but watched intently as Law went off on his own. You quickly made the decision to follow him. Unsure of whether he had any ulterior motives to form an alliance with the Straw Hats, you felt it would be a safe bet if you kept an eye on him, in turn protecting the Straw Hats who you were indebted to - incase he tried anything.
"Nami, I'm going to follow Trafalgar Law. Maybe I can find something that can help the children," you say, and quickly follow behind the other pirate, not giving Nami the chance to protest to your decision.
You kept a safe distance from Law, you couldn't let him see you. Following him through various corridors he finally stops at a room filled with huge tanks, the words 'S.A.D' painted on each of them in big bold letters. What is this place?
"Room."
"Shambles."
Law's voice draws your attention away from the tanks, and you notice the same blue orb from earlier surround him. You're taken by surprise when you see a translucent cube with what looks to be a heart inside it appear in the palm of his hand. Then suddenly Law's flung back and in front of him stands a tall man in a white coat and shades, the cube now in his hands.
"Ver-go," Law tries to say as he stands up but the man squeezes the cube causing Law to fall back down and yell in pain.
Your eyes now focus on the heart, is that Law's? How did this Vergo guy get his heart?
This time Law tries to hit Vergo with an attack. He's able to hit him but it doesn't seem to do much. Vergo once again squeezes at Law's heart, harder this time, and you watch as Law falls on his back, unable to get up.
Shit what do I do? You scan your surroundings trying to find some way to help Law. You're not one for close combat, or combat at all for that matter, so running in and attacking is not an option. Just then you see the Marine from earlier, and you let out a sigh of relief, you could hold off on intervening for now.
Things however seemed to be taking a turn for the worse. Vergo had the upper hand, Smoker almost completely knocked out, yet you had a sliver of hope when you noticed Law dragging himself across the floor to reach for his heart. But, just as he was about to reach for it Vergo picked it up. You looked back to see Smoker lying still on the floor. Then you heard Law scream. A gasp fell from your lips, but you were quick to duck behind a wall before anyone could see you. Your body was shaking, Law's screaming was bringing back the memories.
Prison cell.
Dragged out.
Handcuffs.
Words.
Screaming.
More screaming.
Silence.
Handcuffs.
You try and take deep breaths to calm yourself. There's no point in remembering those things. You're free from it now, you try and tell yourself, You need to do something, if you don't, no one gets out.
Three deep breaths. You swore to yourself that you would never do this again, but maybe that wasn't the best idea when you had decided to associate yourself with pirates.
You outstretch your arm, and focus your attention on Vergo while still trying to hide yourself. From the corner of your eye you can see Smoker slowly starting to get up. You have to time this right.
"Grip."
"Twist."
You close your hands into a tight fist, and twist your wrist to the right.
Vergo suddenly screams, an excruciating pain surging through his right arm, and he drops Law's heart, just as Smoker hits Vergo from behind.
You unclench your fist and bite down on your hat that you had already placed between your teeth, trying your best not to let out a gut-wrenching scream of your own as you slide down against the wall to hide yourself.
The problem with these powers? You feel the same pain you inflict onto others, only it's far worse than what they feel.
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Law's surprised by the way Vergo is suddenly gripping at his arm, but he immediately looks to his right, he heard that gasp from earlier. He knows you've been following him, watching him, but until now he wasn't sure why. You're gripping at your right arm as well, from your expression he can tell you're in pain, did you do that? He doesn't know what to make of it. However, he takes this as his chance to get his heart back, and just in time - Vergo's attention is back on him.
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Trafalgar Law, you say to yourself, eyeing the man whose sitting by himself away from the rest of the group. He's different from what you had heard about him. Given, what you had heard about him was from a long time ago.
After the pain had subsided you had decided to get away just as Law laid his final attack on Vergo. You didn't want him questioning why you had followed him, and you definitely wouldn't have been able to explain why your right arm was limp. Instead, you headed back to the Straw Hats and acted as if you never saw or heard what happened.
"(Y/N)-chan?"
"Hmm?" You turn your attention to Sanji who's holding out a bowl of food.
"Could you give this to Tra?" he asks, and you nod your head as you take the bowl from him.
Law's staring at Luffy and the rest of the Straw Hats, annoyance etched on his face. When he sees you his eyes do a quick scan from head to toe, but you notice how they linger on your right arm, which you quickly hide behind your back, shoving the bowl towards him.
"Here, Sanji wanted me to give this to you," you say, and he takes the bowl from you, nodding in thanks. You stand beside him for some time, waiting for him to say something, anything, but not a word comes out.
"Well, if you need more let me know," you say, quickly scurrying back to the cook who's all too happy with your company.
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A/N: Now you're probably wondering after reading this, why the fuck are you writing? It's very simple actually - because what's the point in living if you don't keep adding to the list of things you're embarrassed about <⁠(⁠ ̄⁠︶⁠ ̄⁠)⁠> ..... anyway see you next time....unless I choose to dip after this.
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morallygreyyn · 5 months
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can we get a second part to do your duty pls?? not even just for the smut, i wanna see the reader grow soft for our boy <3
do your duty (omega!illumi x alpha!reader) (part 2)
description: omegaverse au where after you, a wealthy highborn, presented as an alpha, your parents immediately arranged for your marriage to illumi zoldyck, an omega, when you both came of age. as you began to resent the idea over the years, you had no idea that the allegedly haughty and indifferent illumi had begun to feel the opposite…
authors note: this is my favourite fic that i've ever written, no question. part 2 has been sitting in my drafts for just under a year at this point but i'm so glad i'm finally posting it
this fic will be turned into a full story very very soon (i've started writing it) so if you would like to be tagged when it's posted, please lmk! i'm so excited to be writing it as it gives a lot more depth to this fic that i randomly wrote one day because i was reading too much of the omegaverse genre - enjoy!
warnings: same as the last fic
word count: 7.6k (not proofread we die like men).
tag list (adding the people who commented on my last fic so sorry if you didn't want to be tagged!): @justyanderes @laylasbunbunny @expectroyalpurple @ladies-man217 @nai2fly
read part one here
requests are open! please read my rules!
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You stood at the altar, fidgeting with your formal black attire. Surprisingly, you weren’t nervous, just more impatient to get this wedding over and done with. You couldn’t wait to get away from your family, from your intended family, from the prying eyes and expectations. Even if you had to drag Illumi away with you, it wasn’t all bad. At least he would also be somewhere he was appreciated.
His wedding necklace lay on an embroidered pillow, waiting to be clamped around the omega’s neck. It was a tradition within rich families for the alpha to claim their omega with a collar during the wedding ceremony, and a bite to the neck during the honeymoon. Any omega with both the necklace and mark was considered untouchable to other alphas.
A ridiculous tradition but one your families insisted on.
You took in your surroundings with a disinterested gaze. It seemed a wedding of this scale was bound to have a large audience. All of your close and distant family were sitting on one side of the aisle, your bride’s family on the other. You could see Illumi’s younger siblings sitting next to Kikyo and Silva, all dressed in their finest. Killua, the obvious family favourite and the heir to their fortune, was sitting between his parents looking for all the world as if he’d like nothing more than to leave. The rest of Illumi’s siblings wore similar expressions, with the exception of Alluka who just looked happy to be somewhere that wasn’t her house. 
You had only a couple of brief interactions with your soon to be in-laws, but from what you could gather, it seemed all of the Zoldyck siblings had a screw loose. Being the eldest, you supposed Illumi had to bear the burden of each of his siblings and all of their unique oddities. Then again, it appeared as though your bride was perhaps the strangest of them all.
When the music started, your heart gave a minute jump. Perhaps you were nervous after all. Turning to face the doors at the opposite end of the aisle, you watched as they pulled apart, revealing your bride. One look at him was enough to knock the breath out of your lungs. 
He was wearing white, forced by his family no doubt, and his pale skin almost matched the tone of the fabric. It was an impressive garment, truly fit for a bride of his calibre. His trousers, while tailored perfectly to his long and slim frame, were paired with an almost translucent, billowing shirt that flowed like water with each slight movement. Attached to the shoulders of his shirt was a matching sheer cape with gold and emerald details embroidered from the hem, branching upwards. 
Turning your attention upwards, you noticed that his admittedly gorgeous long hair was coiled into a bun at the nape, with large gold needles holding it in place. An odd accessory to choose but it didn’t stand out as peculiar.
Illumi looked as if he was an omegan fairytale prince that alpha knights would slay dragons for. You wanted to laugh at the thought that his family was the dragon and your wedding attire was armour. Your wedding ring that was currently lying on a cushion could be your sword. 
Focusing your attention back on your bride, you watched as Illumi’s eyes scanned the room, stopping briefly on his family. It didn’t take a genius to guess what he was thinking. Once his eyes found yours, they didn’t leave your gaze. You tried to give him a small smile in hopes to quell any fears he may or may not be feeling. If there was one thing to come from this marriage, it was that your bride had nothing to fear from you.  
The music started up again, and Illumi made his walk down the aisle. He kept his head held high, portraying almost an aura of royalty. All eyes in the audience were on him and you knew he didn’t want to embarrass his family, so with his gaze firmly locked on you, he soldiered on past the people who raised him and headed straight towards where you waited. 
It didn’t take long for Illumi to climb the steps that lead to the altar and soon enough, he had joined your side. You couldn’t believe he looked even more breathtaking up close.
“You look beautiful.” You murmured, low enough that he was the only one who heard. Illumi, to no one's surprise, didn’t reply. He just quietly stood beside you, surveying the venue. His scent was stronger today, no doubt a side effect of his upcoming heat. It was difficult to maintain a composed exterior when all you wanted to do was bury your face into his neck and drink in as much of the heady scent as you could. 
This was going to be an incredible test of your self control.
On cue, Silva stood from his place in the audience and approached the vacant spot beside Illumi.
The minister approached the altar then, standing before the two of you. “Who gives this omega to this alpha?”
“I, Silva Zoldyck, give my son, Illumi, to this alpha.” Taking the omega’s hand, your soon to be father-in-law placed it in your waiting one. Ignoring the coldness of his fingers, you gently squeezed Illumi’s hand. Silva, having done his part, made his way back to his seat.
“Kneel omega and be brought under the alpha’s protection.”
Illumi dropped to his knees before you, cape and shirt fluttering as he lowered his head to expose his nape. Picking up the glorified collar and feeling the weight of it in your hands, you almost considered walking out then and there. If Illumi was to wear this everyday, surely he’d have neck problems before the year ended. However as everyone was watching, you didn’t even have time to pause. Your fingers brushed over the soft skin of his neck, and clamped the necklace into place, and if your fingers lingered longer than necessary, no one was able to tell. Nobody apart from one.
Illumi rose once you pulled away, his expression betraying nothing of his feelings, if he was feeling anything at all that is. His hand quickly fluttered to brush the foreign object around his neck, feeling its cold, emerald encrusted exterior. At least the green suited him.
It was customary for the omega to wear that necklace in public and you began to hate the stupid tradition that your families were determined to uphold. The saving grace was that Illumi would be yours, and therefore he wouldn’t be subject to anything he didn't want anymore. If your families wanted to follow tradition, then they couldn’t ignore the one that states that the omega belongs to their alpha before anyone else. Not even the Zoldycks themselves had the power that the spouse, now you, holds.
“May all people present today be witness to the union of y/n l/n and Illumi Zoldyck. Today it is their wish, and the will of their families, for them to be joined as one. One heart, one body, one mind, one soul.” The minister paused, and you felt the gravity of the situation sink in. This was really happening. Your fate, that was organised for you so many years ago, the one you thought you could outrun, had finally caught you. The minister turned to you then, not giving you a moment to lament your situation. “Do you, y/n l/n, take this omega to be your lawfully wedded wife and mate? Will you love him, comfort him and protect him? Will you honour and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.”
“Do you, Illumi Zoldyck, take this alpha to be your lawfully wedded husband and mate? Will you love them, comfort them and abide by them? Will you honour and obey them, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to them as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.”
A small part of you was surprised at the utter lack of hesitation in Illumi’s response.
“May the alpha please stand before the omega and pronounce your vows.”
Taking a breath, you turned to face your bride. You didn’t need a sheet as you had thankfully memorised the vows you had written. Truthfully, you had much different vows a few days prior, however last night had you hastily scribbling new ones as you reeled from the events. 
“I, y/n, take you, Illumi, to be my omega and these are my vows to you that I shall uphold until my last breath. I promise to put you first above all others, your needs and wants will always be a top priority to me. I vow to never turn you away or reject you. I promise to care for and protect you, and to always take your side should you need me to. I will always honour you and you will never be alone as I am now a part of you, just as you are now a part of me. Till death do us part.”
Illumi’s already wide eyes seemed to have opened slightly wider at your words, if that were possible. Perhaps he didn’t expect those vows to be made to him, or didn’t expect the sincerity behind them. Either way, it appeared as though a light flush was creeping up his neck though you couldn’t be sure due to the makeup that expertly covered his skin.
“May the omega stand before the alpha and pronounce your vows.” 
Illumi didn’t have a sheet of paper either and you wondered if he had memorised his too. Then you questioned who exactly wrote his vows because you were sure his family would’ve had some input as to what he was supposed to promise.
“I, Illumi, take you, y/n, to be my alpha and these are my vows to you.” It was almost uncomfortable looking into the omega’s eyes as he began reciting his vows, it felt as though these were for your ears alone and all others present in the room were unwelcome. 
You almost missed what he said as you were too shocked at what was happening. Your omega was promising to obey you, care for you, provide support where you needed it, and all you could focus on was the frantic race of your heart. How ironic that you needed support now at this moment. 
You gave him a small smile once he had finished, providing some proof that you had been paying attention. Something had shifted in his eyes, they looked slightly less lifeless.
“Does anyone present today reject the union of these two souls?” Not a single sound could be heard and you didn’t expect to find yourself relieved, but you couldn’t deny that you were. The minister then asked for the rings, signalling that your ceremony was coming to a close and so was your free life. Though you could argue that it was never free to begin with.
“With this ring, I thee wed.”
“With this ring, I thee wed.” You repeated, swiftly slipping the wedding ring onto his slender finger, giving his cold hands a light squeeze. You weren’t sure, but you imagined he squeezed back. Then Illumi repeated the same steps, sliding your metaphorical sword onto your finger.
Your fate was sealed. Staring at your new wife, you struggled to comprehend the complex emotions that were surging through you.
“By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife, y/n and Illumi l/n!” Then the minister turned to you, shaking you out of your shock at hearing Illumi having your surname for the first time. You had forgotten about that part. “You may now kiss your bride.”
Illumi closed his eyes and waited, and you realised with a start that he was following your instructions from the night before. Immensely glad that you had already practised, you couldn’t help the small smile as you pressed your lips against his. All the kisses you previously shared flashed through your mind and it was almost impossible to keep it as a chaste kiss, you wanted very much to explore the omega’s mouth the way you did last night. By some miracle, you managed to restrain yourself as sophisticated applause rang out throughout the venue.
Hand in hand, you both turned to face your now joined families. You could feel Illumi’s fingers warming under your touch as you both gazed out at the families who had forced you into this situation. Surprisingly, you felt as though you had gained some power rather than having lost some like you had previously expected. You glanced over at your wife who was looking at his family, something deeper lingering in his usual blank stare. You could only begin to understand what he must be feeling right now. Giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, you smiled slightly as he turned to face you.
“We made it.” You whispered as your family ushered you outside the venue to meet the photographer who was in charge of your wedding photos.
Illumi nodded, seemingly unable to find his voice. Subconsciously, you felt yourself grip his hand tighter as you were both suddenly caught up in the drama of arranging family members for the photos.
“Now time for the newlyweds, alone.” The photographer said after what felt like a thousand clicks of the camera, waiting until your surrounding family members filed out of his shot. 
Noticing that there was a slight gap between you, you gently pulled the omega towards you. You could feel Illumi jump slightly at the arm you wrapped around his thin waist.
“Sorry.” You murmured, stepping closer to him like the photographer asked. 
“It’s okay.” He replied, not looking away from the lens. 
Unsatisfied with that response, you leaned to whisper in his ear. “If ever you’re uncomfortable with me touching you, please let me know.” 
“I’m not uncomfortable.” It seemed as though Illumi wanted to say more, but he restrained himself for reasons unknown to you.
Unwilling to pry, you left it there. “If you’re sure.” 
A couple clicks of the camera later, the photographer still seemed unsatisfied with the results. 
“Maybe we’re not photogenic enough for him.” You mused, watching with humour as the man fiddled with the focus.
“Or he needs a new lens.”
Chuckling, you turned to face your new wife, photos be damned. You hadn’t expected your wife to be funny, albeit unintentionally. 
Illumi turned his head to look at you, lips parted ever so slightly, seemingly shocked by your reaction to something he said. Perhaps no one had ever given him the reaction you just had.
Just then you heard the click of a camera, the photographer's astounded voice following soon after. “That looks perfect! We’re finished!”
Without getting the chance to breathe a sigh of relief, you both were then ushered into a side room to fill out your marriage paperwork while the guests made their way back to your family estate where the reception was to be held. You didn’t even get to utter a word to your new wife as you were both relentlessly hounded into signing sheet after sheet of paperwork by the administrator. Barely having time to process what you were signing, you took what felt like your first breath once you left the room and headed outside. 
Illumi diligently followed, matching your steps in silence, heels clicking as he walked.
“I’m amazed you even made it down the aisle wearing those.” You commented, looking at those injury promising shoes.
“They’re not as high as some shoes mother wears.”
“Really?”
Illumi hummed in response, watching as you opened the car door for him. Quickly making sure his attire didn’t get caught underneath him or in the car door, you closed the door and swiftly got into the driver's seat. Pulling away from the venue, you begrudgingly turned onto the main road that would take you home for the reception.
“Maybe now’s the time to run away.” You grumbled after a while, breaking the tense silence between the two of you.
“Why would we do that?”
“Do you really want to spend an evening with our families with us as the centre of attention?” Feeling like it was necessary, you took his empty hand into your free one.
“Not particularly.” Turning away from the window, he stared at your interlocked hands and then at you. “Where would we go?”
Happy your bride was playing along, you cast him a mischievous glance. “Hmm, let’s see. Somewhere far away, preferably warm too. Does anywhere come to mind?”
Illumi shook his head. “I’ve never been anywhere other than my home and yours so I wouldn’t know where to go.”
“Then that makes running away an even greater adventure.” You squeezed his hand and then brushed your thumb over his knuckles. “Perhaps a beach resort on a far away island, or a cabin nestled in mountain woodland? Or how about a skyscraper hotel in a bustling city? Or a cruise ship that takes us to famous tourist spots all over the world?”
Illumi blinked, looking a smidge shocked at all of the options you were suggesting. “All of them.”
“All of them it is.” You laughed, giving him a rare, genuine smile and to your utter bafflement, he offered a small one in return. 
You almost stopped the car. Never in a million years did you think your bride had the capability to smile but here he was. Granted, it was barely there, a mere tug at the corners of his lips, but it was there nonetheless. 
Careful not to break the mood, you pretended you weren’t floored by his expression and went back to discussing becoming runaways. Before long and before you were ready, you pulled up to your manor.
You sighed, wishing you could put the many plans you made in the car into action. “Are you ready for this?”
“It’s only a couple of hours.” He nodded, looking out of the window to the unavoidable party that awaited you. “Then we’ll be on our honeymoon.”
“Our first grand escapade.” You chuckled as you got out of the car, ignoring the fact that you’d have to deal with Illumi’s heat for a portion of it. You circled around the vehicle and opened the door for your new wife. Taking his hand, you helped him stand in those treacherous looking high heels. 
Once he was standing, it was only then that you noticed the proximity. Face inches away, Illumi’s flat gaze was locked on yours. 
“Screw them, they can wait another five minutes.” Wrapping an arm around his waist, you pulled Illumi in for a much less innocent kiss than the one you gave him at the altar. 
You supposed that his upcoming heat was to blame for his whisper of a whine. Nonetheless, it spurred you on. However it was only a couple of seconds later before Illumi pulled away, though it seemed with poorly veiled reluctance.
“We need to go inside.” 
Groaning, you dropped your head onto his shoulder, unable to help yourself from breathing in more of that addictive scent. “It’s not too late, we can still jump in the car.”
“We can later.”
Begrudgingly, you lifted your head and held out your hand. "Let’s get this over with then.”
Nodding, your bride quickly took your hand and you both made your way inside. The sound of applause was the first thing that greeted you, choruses of congratulations rang out from the many guests in attendance.
“There they are!” Your father announced, approaching you with the rest of your beaming family in tow. Illumi’s family also made their way in front of you, looking a little relieved that you had actually gone through with the wedding.
“You’re just in time for the banquet.” Your mother ushered the two of you through the halls and outside to the grounds which had been turned into a wedding reception fit for royalty. 
Extravagant tents had been pitched with many tables and chairs for all your guests situated underneath. Strings of warm fairy lights hung from the ceiling, mixed with garlands of flowers. There was even a dance floor and a couple of chandeliers.
Taking your seats at the head table, you watched as everyone else found their places. Your parents sat at the same table as you, yours on your side and Illumi’s on his. It didn’t take long for everyone to be seated, however you did find it a bit funny that some people were hidden due to the giant bouquets adorning every table.
“Attention please.” Your mother called and almost immediately there was silence. “I would like to give a huge congratulations to y/n and my new son in law, Illumi. We welcome you with open arms into this family and wish you a very happy marriage. With that, I’d like us all to raise a toast to the newlyweds. To y/n and Illumi l/n!”
You didn’t think you’d ever get used to hearing that. Absently, you wondered what Illumi thought of his new name.
The banquet was a boring affair. Multiple dishes were put in front of you, each more elaborate than the last. Buzzing chatter from the attendees filled the air, even your parents eagerly chatted to the Zoldycks. It seemed as if you and your omega were the only silent ones. 
Determined not to be the odd ones out at your own wedding, you turned to Illumi, making sure to keep your voice low so you couldn’t be overheard. “So, have you thought anymore about where you’d like to go?”
The omega looked at you, seemingly happy enough to be speaking with you and not part of the larger conversation that was happening at your table. “I keep trying but I can’t picture anything.”
“That’s probably because you don’t know what you like yet.” You tapped your chin in mock sympathy. “I’m afraid there’s only one cure for that.”
“What’s that?”
You grinned. “We have to keep travelling until you do know.”
“Okay.” Illumi nodded, apparently liking the sound of your suggestion. 
Toasts came after the food and you all but blacked out during most of the speeches, most being the same with well wishes, future children, and inheritance. It was decided before, with heavy backing on your part, that neither you or Illumi would have to make a speech. You said everything that needed to be said in front of family during your vows. Anything else was for your bride’s ears only.
You leaned towards him, lips almost touching his ear. “Was that as boring for you as it was for me?”
Your wife agreed with a bob of his head. “They were all the same.”
“I guess money and children is all we’re good for.” You joked humourlessly, hating the truth to it. “How I would hate to disappoint them.”
“You sound as though you would love nothing more.”
Laughing lightly, you smiled mischievously at Illumi. “Perhaps I would.”
You were brought out of your scheming by your father announcing that the banquet was over and it was time for the first dance. 
Groaning internally, you took Illumi’s hand and led him to the centre of the dance floor. You could not only feel your nerves, but you imagined you could feel his too. Dancing? Neither of you had practiced that. Granted, you should’ve expected to dance at your own wedding, but in your defence, you didn’t want to think about it much until today. Vaguely remembering the ballroom dance lessons your mother insisted you take in your younger years, you somehow managed to get both you and your bride into position.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” He whispered as you both waited for the music to start.
“Not a clue, I’m just going with it.” You could see Illumi’s shoulders oddly relax at your words and once the music started, you guided him around the dance floor. Stiff in the beginning, you both began to get the hang of it more and more and soon enough, you were both gliding across the floor. You even chanced it by spinning you both around, Illumi’s cape swirling around you like a ripple of water. 
Once the music stopped, everyone applauded and joined you on the dance floor as the music started up again in a continuous loop.
“Looks like we survived.” You panted, struggling to regain your breath. You were only stepping together now, both coming down from the extravagant display you put on.
“Somehow.” Illumi looked at your joint hands, seemingly lost in thought. However, just when you were about to ask, your mother cut in.
“It’s time for the parent dances.”
Ah, you had forgotten that you would be dancing with your mother, and Illumi with his father. Reluctant to let go, you suppressed a sigh and you took your mother’s hand and guided her around the dance floor. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Illumi watching you leave until his father approached. 
“It looked like those dance lessons you took came in handy.” Your mother remarked, pleased to be proven right. “I told you they would and yet you still complained.”
“Yes mother, thanks to you I didn’t make a bumbling fool of myself and my bride.”
She hummed and her smug expression stayed in place for a while until it dropped abruptly. 
“It will be a lot quieter without you now.” Her voice was softer, as if she had just realised that she was losing her child today. “Take good care of your omega, we’re quite high maintenance. It takes a lot to keep us happy.”
Actually smiling, you kissed your mother’s cheek. While your family did many things that you disagreed with, your mother wasn’t entirely bad all of the time. “Just say you’ll miss me and be done with it.”
She didn’t hesitate to playfully smack the upside of your head before giving you a serious, pointed look. “Just make sure his needs are met.”
Ah, so she also knew about how Illumi was raised. “I will.”
“I know you will, I raised you right.” She spoke proudly. “Also, I know where you’re going for your honeymoon.”
Neither you or Illumi knew where you were going so it came as a shock for your mother to bring it up so soon. “You do? Where is it?”
“Of course I do, I’m the one who organised it.” She smiled at your eager expression. “We have the family run beach resort which you seem to have forgotten about.”
“The beach resort? As in the island beach resort a couple of miles out to sea?” You stared at her, flashing back to your hopeful conversation in the car a couple of hours ago.
“The very one.”
A whole month by the beach, on an island, away from your families. You couldn’t have asked for anything more than that. “Illumi will be overjoyed to hear that.”
“Will he? I never know what that boy is thinking.”
You laughed, understanding that feeling all too well. “Neither do I but I better start figuring it out.”
“Yes, you should.” Suddenly her gaze shifted past your shoulder. You followed her gaze to where your father stood at the edge of the tent, beckoning you over. “Your father wants to speak to you.”
“This can’t be good.”
“Regardless, don’t forget what I said.” Your mother smoothed your attire, looking more lost than you’d ever seen her in your life. “You did so well, I’m so incredibly proud of you.”
You were frozen, unable to comprehend the words you had never heard directed at you throughout your whole life. “You are?”
“Of course. Look at the responsible alpha you’ve become, how could I not be?” She kissed the top of your forehead before letting you go. “Don’t forget about me in this new chapter of your life, okay? Feel free to take me and your bride out shopping any time.”
Laughing once, you bid your mother goodbye before making your way over to your less favourable parent. 
“Father.” You greeted, walking with him out of the tent and onto the grounds. It was night now which made the fairy lights seem all that more inviting. 
“Y/n, I trust you’re enjoying your wedding.” 
“I am.” You were surprised that your response wasn’t a total lie.
“And your bride?”
“Is probably enjoying it just as much. Speaking of, I haven’t seen him in a while so if you’ll excuse me I should probably get back to him.”
Before you could make your getaway, your father spoke again. “One moment.”
“Yes?” You feigned politeness through gritted teeth.
“After your honeymoon, I expect news of an heir.”
“What?” Somehow, you had almost forgotten about that crucial part. How stupid of you. 
“You will do your duty to this family and put an alpha child in that omega as soon as possible.”
Oh you didn’t like his tone one bit. 
“That omega is now my wife and therefore a part of this family. You will show him respect.” You couldn’t hold back the sneer if you tried. The way he spoke about your omega had you seeing red. “I will put a child in him if he so wishes and he does, so rest assured, our family will have heirs.”
Your father made a move to reply but you cut him off before he could. “Also, his name is Illumi and he’s now your son-in-law.”
You didn’t bother sticking around to see your father’s face, and you quickly retreated to where you knew you could be alone for a moment. Slipping away from the reception and into the manor, you successfully made it to your room. Throwing open the doors to the balcony, you had a wonderful view of your wedding reception which you had abandoned. Closing your eyes, you quietly listened to the sound of the merriment that you couldn’t bring yourself to be a part of.
Surprisingly, it hadn’t been all bad. You had even enjoyed some parts of your wedding. It was just a shame that your father had to bring you crashing back down to earth. 
A child? You weren’t sure you were ready for that just yet. There were still so many things you wanted to do that would become a lot more difficult if you had a child to worry about.
You spent a few minutes wallowing until the sound of heels could be heard approaching from the hall.
“Y/n?” A muffled voice called from behind the door, the only one you wouldn’t turn away.
“Out here, Illumi.” The door to your room pushed open and your bride stood in the doorway, looking at you with that same unreadable expression.
He slowly made his way into your room, drawing closer to you. “Why are you hiding?”
“My father was getting on my nerves.” You admitted, resting your forearms against the railing. “They’re already hounding me about putting an ‘alpha baby’ in you.”
He nodded, as if that made complete sense to him. “I need to produce heirs.”
“No.” You shook your head, hating that your mate was brainwashed into thinking that bearing children was his duty. “You’re mine now. You don’t have to answer to them anymore, not if you don’t want to.”
“I know, I obey you.”
“Not if you don’t want to, Illumi.”
“I want to, I made a vow.”
“A vow your family wrote no doubt.”
“I wrote my own vows.” He whispered, as if unsure he should be revealing this information.
Baffled, you turned to face him with wide eyes. “You did?”
“My parents checked over them, but yes.”
“Then why did you write that one?”
“Because I want to obey you.” You were so sure he’d leave it there, but to your shock, Illumi kept speaking. “You’re my alpha and someone who has my best interests in mind.”
He moved to stand beside you, heels clicking against the marble flooring. 
“And that's a good enough reason to obey my every word?”
“I also know you’ll put me and our future children first.”
You snorted. “Still not seeing how this adds up.”
Then your omega did something you never expected to happen twice in a lifetime, let alone twice in one day. Giving you a small, half smile, you had to strain your ears to hear his soft whisper. “I know that you’ll never do anything to harm me.”
It was obviously quite challenging for Illumi to say such a thing as his expression quickly shifted back into one of indifference, but for a brief fleeting moment, you felt as though you had cracked through his impenetrable armour. It was clear that his parents didn’t care for their oldest child, and you wondered to what extent did that mental, emotional and physical abuse scar the boy before you. Being touch starved was about the extent of your knowledge and you shuddered to think about what other things your mate must be dealing with.
You nodded, unable to stop yourself from wrapping your arm over his shoulders and bringing the omega into your side. “You’ll always be safe with me. I'll take care of you.”
You couldn’t stop the mushy words from leaving your mouth even if you tried. You supposed it was the injustice he had faced, you couldn’t help but want to shield him from it all. Perhaps you really were a knight in shining armour come to save the prince.
“Will you?” His voice was quieter than you had ever heard it before. Maybe his upcoming heat was affecting him more than he let on? If this is what he was like before his heat, you wondered with abject fascination at what he would be like during.
Hooking a finger under his chin, you tilted his head up. Once your eyes locked, you gave your bride a lopsided grin. “I made a vow.”
Illumi took a sharp intake of breath, an uncertain hand slowly coming up to rest on your one. You caressed his cheek, unable to stop yourself from marvelling at his unique beauty. It still hadn’t settled in yet that this was your wife. He now bore your last name. He was your omega. Illumi was yours. Yours.
Perhaps his heat was starting to affect you too. 
You could feel Illumi leaning into your touch, as if he was desperate for it. You could also sense his hesitation, unsure what to do with the attention he was receiving, clearly not used to it like an omega should be. You would be sure to fix that. It may take several years, and perhaps all the damage done could never be erased, but you would try your very best to help him through it. Your own private vow to him that didn’t need hundreds of witnesses to hear it. Just one was enough.
“From now on, if you ever feel like you need me for anything, don’t hesitate to ask, okay? Even the smallest of things.” You whispered as you leaned in, unable to bear the thought of someone overhearing. “I promise, I will always be by your side to help you through it.”
Guiding his chin upwards, you brought your lips to his. It was meant to be a simple reassurance kiss however when Illumi so eagerly opened his mouth for you, all innocent notions flew out the window, so to speak. Pulling Illumi flush against your body, you deepened the kiss. 
He desperately clutched the front of your shirt, as if you were some kind of lifeline. You could feel yourself doing the same, your grip tightening around his waist, ensuring there was no gap between you. You couldn’t explain how you felt, even if you tried. 
From not wanting to be married and pretending as if your bride didn’t exist, to wanting nothing more than him being safe in your arms; your emotions were almost giving you whiplash. 
But you didn’t have time to focus on that, not when Illumi was making breathy little moans in your mouth. His whines and whimpers, while still quiet, were a little more audible today. Another side effect of his heat. 
Before you both passed the point of no return, you reluctantly broke away. “We better go back down.”
“Can we stay up here for a while longer?” Came a barely audible response, as though he was daring to ask for something unattainable, something he wasn’t allowed.
You were shocked he would even suggest such a thing. “Why?”
He hesitated, unwilling to say too much.
“Illumi?” You tried catching his gaze, wanting to know what thoughts he was locking away. “What’s wrong?”
“You might be stolen away again.” You could’ve sworn his grip on your shirt tightened. “I...”
“What?”
“I don’t want that.”
You would have laughed at the situation if it weren’t for your new wife finally showing some vulnerability. Perhaps his heat was a considerable factor in why he wasn’t as tight-lipped. “Are you possessed?”
“No, I think my heat is already affecting me.” Bingo.
“Ah, so you’ll say what you really think only when you’re about to go into a heat cycle. Got it.” You teased, shooting him a half grin. “Don’t fret, you’re the only one I want to dance with anyway.”
He caught your gaze then, almost too innocent with the way his flat eyes locked with yours. “Really?”
You smiled, resting your forehead against his. “You’re my bride and this is our wedding. Of course you are.”
“Oh.” Came his response. 
You stroked his cheek, loving the way he subconsciously leaned into your touch. “Just a couple more minutes then.”
Standing behind him, you wrapped your arms around Illumi’s narrow waist and looked out at the festivities below. 
“Honestly,” You whispered after a couple moments of silence. “This wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting. Even dancing with my mother was somewhat enjoyable.”
“I enjoyed dancing with you.” Illumi’s voice matched yours. “Even if you are terrible at it.”
“I’m not that bad! I got us through it, didn’t I?”
“I suppose.”
“You suppose.” You huffed, resting your head on Illumi’s. “How does it feel now that your surname isn’t Zoldyck anymore?”
“It feels weird.” He paused, considering his words. “But not in a bad way.”
“Weird in a good way? You’re happy to have my last name?”
“Yes.”
“Huh.” You didn’t want to say how happy that made you. You didn’t even know the reason why. “Nice.”
Illumi let out a breath that almost resembled a laugh.
“You seem a lot less guarded today.”
“Would you prefer me the other way?” He seemed to ask this honestly, as if he truly wanted to know.
“Absolutely not, I’m quite happy with you like this.”
“I see.”
You left it at that, closing your eyes and feeling the summer breeze that carried the sound of festivities with it. An odd sense of calmness washed over you, one you hadn’t expected to feel in this situation but it was welcome nonetheless. Illumi seemed a lot less rigid in your arms, as though he had finally found a safe place where he could finally, finally let the mask fall.
Maybe you could get used to this after all. 
“We really need to go back down there now.” You sighed after a couple of minutes that felt more like seconds, not really wanting this quiet moment to end. 
“I suppose we must.” Illumi didn’t move from his position in your arms, nor did you make any effort to remove them.
You chuckled and finding the will to step away, you held out your hand to your new wife, offering him a rare genuine smile. “Let’s rejoin the celebrations. We are the main event after all.”
Heading back downstairs and outside, it was almost as if you had never left at all. The celebrations were still in full swing by the time you spun Illumi back onto the dance floor. As promised, you held on tightly to your omega and didn’t even consider dancing with anyone else who wasn’t him. 
A couple of songs had passed before you remembered your previous conversation with your mother. “Oh, I know where we’re going for our honeymoon.”
“Where?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“It’s not a surprise if you know.”
“I meant it’s a surprise for you.”
“But I want to know.”
“You’ll know soon enough.” You chuckled, spinning your bride before pulling him back in. “But I can give you a hint.”
“Please tell me where it is.”
It was incredibly difficult not to tell him then and there, but you held firm to your silly little game. “One hint, take it or leave it.”
He huffed slightly, giving in to your ridiculous behaviour. “Fine, what’s the hint?”
“I mentioned it earlier today in the car.”
“But you mentioned hundreds of places.” He protested and you could almost see a slight pout forming.
“Mhm, you did say you wanted to try them all.” 
“How am I supposed to narrow it down?”
Your grin turned evil. “You’re not.”
Before he could retort, you pulled Illumi in for a kiss. Smiling at the small noise of surprise he made, you quickly pulled away again. Your good mood soured when you noticed who was getting closer to where you were.
“It’s almost time for you to leave for your honeymoon.” Your new mother-in-law approached, giving you a warm smile before turning to her son. “You must change before you go, follow me.”
“I’ll see you soon.” You whispered to him, placing the ghost of a kiss against his cheek before he was whisked away to change into more suitable travel attire. Your only issue was that Illumi was to be alone with his mother and who knows what sort of nonsense she was going to fill his head with. At least you’d be able to rebuke it now. 
You also quietly slipped away to get changed. Having previously set out travel clothes the night before, it didn’t take long until you were back under the fairy lights waiting for your omega. You passed the time talking to some distant relatives, only partially listening to the conversation as you eagerly counted down the seconds until you could leave. You didn’t have to wait long until Illumi returned, side by side with his mother, in flowy clothes, save for his wedding necklace, that seemed a lot more comfortable than what he was wearing a few moments prior. 
You watched him as his disinterested gaze scanned the crowd, actively seeking you out. Watched him as he spotted you and looked for all the world as though he wanted nothing more than to run to your side. Before he could move towards you however, his mother caught him by the arm and whispered something harshly in his ear. Illumi nodded and pulled away.
“What was that about?” You asked when he approached, automatically wrapping an arm around his waist. 
He just shook his head, clearly unwilling to give the details now. You made a mental note to ask later. 
Car packed and ready to go, you were ushered towards the driveway by the rest of your family. Clapping and cheering filled the night as you helped your bride into the car, and finally pulled away from the place you called home. 
It was an odd feeling, driving away from your childhood manor to start a new life. Granted, it wasn’t one you had chosen but something told you it wasn’t bad. Sneaking a glance at Illumi, you decided that perhaps this was almost something you would have wanted for yourself, without the family duty aspect.
“Can I get another hint?” Illumi broke the silence first, seemingly thinking very hard about where you were driving to.
You laughed at his helpless tone as you turned onto the main road that would take you to the docks. “Fine, I can’t drive the entire way there.”
“You can’t?” Illumi’s nose scrunched slightly, brain working on overdrive in attempts to figure out where his first adventure would take place. 
“Nope.” You were still chuckling as you relished in the odd glow this day had filled you with, feeling lighter and freer than you had in years. Taking your wife’s hand, you began the long journey to the coast. 
“How are we going to get there?”
“Ah ah, that’s more than one hint.”
He paused, contemplating the options. “Are we going by rocket?”
You couldn’t help it. His innocent tone had you thrown into a fit of laughter. You had no idea your bride was able to crack jokes, albeit accidentally. 
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” You had to calm down and focus on the road. It wouldn’t do to die before your honeymoon. “No, we’re not going by rocket. Hate to break it to you but we are limited to this planet.”
The omega hummed and looked out of the window. He then very quickly realised that he couldn’t see much in the dead of night. 
When did Illumi get so cute? Or was he always like this and you just never noticed? He certainly wasn’t like this around his family, that much you were certain about. A delicate, warm feeling settled over you at the thought that maybe, just maybe, he was like this only with you. That he was comfortable enough that you wouldn’t judge, yell or reprimand him if he put a toe out of line. 
You felt yourself grip his hand tighter.
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runningupthatvecna · 1 year
Text
the law of seat partners
alrighty so ya gurl had a dream about eddie last night and here i am trying to use that to base the following something off of.
part 2
cw/tw: eddie munson being a slightly touchy precious bean. a slight bit of angst. feeling left out/mentions of feeling unwanted if you squint. otherwise, none that i could think of, just my silly brain fluff. if you find something else, please let me know yaaa. no mentions of y/n.
summary: you're going on a high school field trip with your friends. and thankfully, a long haired metalhead is also there to keep you company and ease the pain of being around obnoxious children.
side note: this is literally the first fic thing i've written in literal YEARS (also in English) and first ever time writing for Eddie, so bare with me here, i've gotten quite rusty i guess so i truly apologise if it's rather bad. don't mind me and please reblog/leave me comments if you did enjoy this pure fluff something!
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It was the sunniest May morning the town of Hawkins had ever seen. The bluest sky above the forests and fields, downtown, the infamous trailer park and the parking lot of Hawkins High.
You sighed as you placed your car in parking mode before opening the door and sliding out, just so you could grab your belongings - a rather big bag filled with all sorts of items that you were certain you were going to need for surviving the next week - out from the backseat.
A field trip with students with an age range from bloody twelve to the wise years of nineteen, well, twenty to be specific, was on your agenda in the almost last month of your last year of high school, and thankfully you were not gonna be stuck in some forest next to Lake Superior alone by yourself.
Being forced to exist around screaming twelve year olds who were about to enter puberty was your least favourite part of the whole expedition, which made the presence of your group of best friends so much more valuable.
There was one person whose attendance you'd specifically been hoping for. And yes, of course you and your friends had been talking about the trip months ago so it would be clear who would join in the fun, but with Eddie's tendency to be flaky when it came to decisions like this, one could never be fully sure.
I mean yeah, certainly you were looking forward to spending this week by the lakeside with Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan and the younger kids in freshmen year, but nothing could make the thought of being stuck with a group of middle schoolers and teachers more bearable than being stuck there with the one guy who you - to put it frankly - had a thing for.
You couldn't really say that you were as close with him as you were with Steve or Robin, you never really spent time with him outside of the group hangouts. But that didn't mean that there was any weird distance between the two of you when the lucky occasion of hanging out did come around.
Eddie Munson was a metalhead. Through and through. Tough exterior, soft baby cow personality but could turn stone cold when necessary. When people tried to shame him for being different, for example.
You were also very certain that his love language was touch, based on the times he would throw his arm around you when casually walking you to your next class or the way he would playfully wrestle Dustin or Lucas in the cafeteria during lunch break to show he didn't hate them.
"Oh my god, I'm so glad you're here!"
Max had spotted you in line and apparently didn't feel too much guilt for cutting it just so she could hop on the bus together with you.
You mumbled the same thing back to her, wondering if you were the first or last ones of your party to go through Miss Kelley's check-in.
She greeted the both of you with a toothy smile before she turned her focus onto the sheet with students' names. Your eyes wandered over the rows of seat pairs, and since you had arrived at the parking lot, let's say not late but also not early either, most of them were already filled with loudly chatting kids.
"Hopefully the others saved us a seat", you heard Max say from in front of you. Unlike you, she already had a pre-determined seat buddy. "Oh please, it's obvious that Sinclair kept one for you", you quipped back, silently hoping you could potentially be sitting next to Steve or at least Robin.
And even if Eddie was going to join you, he'd probably be sitting with Chrissy. Or Gareth.
"That might be true, but I'm sure you'll be just fine with where you'll end up."
Max stepped further into the bus after she gave you a wink and a slight grin.
Did she know more than you?
Good boy Steve was rather easy for you to spot. With that amount of hair peeking out above the sea of headrests? No wonder. In fact, most of your friends were already seated further in the back of the one-story bus.
A slight hint of disappointment clouded your brain at the sight of Steve and Robin sharing a seat pair, with Nancy and Jonathan right behind them. Your fear of being the one left out and behind was creeping out from the back of your mind, acting up.
People had always been kind enough to endure you, but no one ever really chose you. Or at least made you feel like you belonged.
Lucas indeed had the seat next to him reserved for Max, to where she continued her strut down the aisle to plop down, while Dustin and Will had agreed to share theirs.
Surprising they made it out of bed this early.
You took a few more steps towards the back of the bus. A wide grinned Erica was seated amongst her friends in the center of the very back row, your eyes scanning the seats until they landed on the wild dark mane of a certain metalhead, who was occupying the pair of seats right behind the stairs down to the back door.
He was practically lying in the window seat. Head resting against the glass, staring out to observe the students who hadn't set foot onto the bus yet. Parents who were lecturing their kids one last time before letting them go.
Was he daydreaming? What could possibly be going on in that pretty head of his?
Your heart jumped and your stomach fluttered when he shifted his gaze to the aisle where you were standing. The widest smile spread over his face at the sight of you, and you hated to admit to yourself that it did not leave you unaffected.
The seat next to him was empty.
It took Eddie a few seconds to remember what his initial plan was. As if something in his brain clicked, as if a bolt of lightning had hit him, he straightened himself and got up.
"Uh hi there. I, uh, kept you a seat if, uh, in case you'd like to sit with me."
Eddie the freak Munson. Had thought of and would be willing to sharing seats for a 10 hour bus ride. With you, of all people?
In the light of the sunlight flooded bus, you could see his cheeks adjusting to the colour of your own. Flushed pink.
And you just couldn't help the wide grin that was pulling at the corners of your mouth.
Now both of you were standing in the aisle facing each other.
"I would love to, Munson."
Quickly you took out the essentials for the journey from your bag: headphones and your walkman, your tape collection that you wouldn't leave the house without, a novel, some water and a tote bag with your carefully selected snacks.
Eddie waited patiently for you to get comfortable, standing there in the aisle in his signature leather jacket and denim dio vest, while leaning against the backrest of his own seat, watching your every move.
Once you swung yourself around into your seat, Eddie plopped down next to you with an equally wide grin plastered across his face while pointing his ringed index finger at the snack bag.
"You know, you're gonna have to share those with me."
You turned your head around to face him, eyebrow raised.
His chocolate brown doe eyes were so so softly looking at you. If you didn't know better they'd melt you on the spot.
"Oh really, do I?"
"Yeah, it's the unspoken yet official law of seat partners, sweetheart."
You chuckled at his silliness and the pet name, the nervousness which you had gotten from the thought of him very obviously thinking of you when it came to the decision of who to sit next to, all gone.
He wanted to be physically close to you.
He wanted to spend that time on the bus around you.
He chose you.
After Steve, Robin and all the others from your group had acknowledged your presence as well with genuine smiles, and the last few kids had found their seats, it was time to leave Hawkins.
The bus hit the highway towards Chicago pretty soon after departure.
Eddie let you sit in the window seat, which eventually led to him conveniently using your shoulder as a pillow. And no, you didn't mind the weight. It was Eddie.
Hell, you were having a hard time keeping yourself from wrapping your arms around him to pull him closer.
"Does this also fall under the law of seat partners?", you asked curiously, placing a hand on Eddie's head and slightly scratching his scalp.
The only thing you got in return was a satisfied, sleepy "mhm" and a squeeze and rub of his warm hand over your thigh, but it was enough for your mind to drift off, wondering which other of Eddie's love languages and further details of his ridiculous seat partner law you'd come to discover on this trip.
-----
tagged: my beloved ellen @josephfakingquinn <3
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obiwan · 7 months
Note
Hi! I just started watching the Star Wars prequels and I want to read some obikin fanfictions but I don't know where to start so if you have any recommendations for me I could really asappreciated.
Have a good day/night!
Hii! I keep saying I'm going to do this because I have so many messages like this - and what I usually try to do is leave the most "famous" ones out of reclists, because most likely everyone has read them, but they were also the first ones I've read. So I will try to do a combination of both new and old fics which I consider "classics". Also a reminder that I have already posted this this & this before. And oh boy this got long.
✰(Explicit, Complete) When the Abyss Stares Back at You  by skyl_tales
Pausing the holovid, Mace looked from Anakin to Obi-Wan. "This holovid was taken on planet Revoran two days ago."   In the holovid, the golden-eyed Anakin looked at something just out of frame. There was something distinctly hungry and possessive about that gaze. It made a shiver run up Obi-Wan's spine--because he recognized that look. He'd seen Anakin look that way at Senator Amidala.
But it wasn't Senator Amidala who stepped into the camera's view. It wasn't Senator Amidala the Sith yanked closer and kissed.
It was Obi-Wan.  [Obi-Wan and Anakin are sent to investigate the sighting of a Sith Anakin, who appears to be in a relationship with an older version of Obi-Wan.]
This is one of my favourite Obikin fics, and if you enjoy time travel shenanigans chances are you will enjoy this too. skyl_tales wrote some of my favourite fics for this fandom, so if you enjoy this, I suggest you check their other work as well!
✰(Explicit, Complete) If I only knew by wanderlove
Newly knighted Obi-Wan Kenobi and his padawan, Anakin Skywalker, have been sent to Ryloth on a simple diplomatic envoy. While there, an unsettling incident causes Obi-Wan to look at Anakin in a new light and re-evaluate…everything.
The Galaxy will never be the same.
aka: "come for the obikin, stay for the tzai and deep emotional discussions that dismantle every single misunderstanding in the prequels."
Beautiful story!!!! This is honestly one of the most wholesome and "fix-it/what-if" kind of canon obikin fics I've ever read. I really really recommend reading this if you're just getting into Obikin and the SW-verse in general.
✰(Explicit, Complete) Moonlight Serenade by Lemon (@renlyslittlerose)
“Glad you came,” the man said. He pushed away from the lamppost and approached Anakin, his hand held out for him to take. “I realized I never properly introduced myself. I’m Major Kenobi, but you can call me Obi-Wan.”
Anakin took his hand and shook it, their touch lingering for just a little longer than was normally acceptable. It felt like holding on to fire. “Flying Officer Skywalker. But most call me Anakin.”
An accident in 1944 over the fields of France puts an end to Anakin’s flying career. Discharged and sent back to Canada, Anakin must confront the ghosts of his past and find a new path forward.
This is a WWII AU - so beware of that in the first place, but I have always enjoyed historical AUs, and this is very beautifully done. It spans over a long time (my favourite) and does it so well.
✰(Explicit, Complete) To Eden by Unfortunate17
Accused of masterminding the Jedi Temple bombing, Obi-Wan is expelled from the Order.
Anakin is left to pick up the pieces.
This fic. THIS FIC!!!! I don't have anything to say about this - read this fic (in fact read everything written by this author - they have a bodyswap fic called Gray Matter) I really enjoy their characterization of both Obi-Wan and Anakin and the story telling is amazing. Truly love them.
✰(Teen, Complete) Don't be Afraid. by spqr
Tainted by your encounter with the Sith, you are, Obi-Wan imagines Master Yoda saying. Fix you, we cannot. To the AgriCorps, you shall return.
“Padawan Kenobi,” Yoda says, after a moment. “Complete your training, Master Skywalker will.”
Another reverse AU! I realise this is one of those 'either you love it or hate it' tropes, but I do love it, so I include it in my recs. I enjoy imagining the scenarios of Jedi Master Anakin and Padawan Kenobi, so if you think that's something you would also enjoy, give this a chance!
✰(Explicit, Complete) Fearless and the Negotiator by @zimriya
Anakin Skywalker is a superhero. He spends his nights roaming the streets of Coruscant alongside his superhero partner—a man called the Negotiator whom he has never seen without a mask, and yet whom he loves desperately all the same. By day, Anakin works an uneventful nine-to-five at Jedi Inc., doing his best to remember that he cannot murder his coworkers—even if they are called Obi-Wan Kenobi and are the literal worst.
A superhero AU!!! I love his au because it's so well done and so well thought out (the details in this!!!) and I love enjoying Obi-Wan in white spandex. Like that's my bread and butter right there. Either way, if you enjoy marvel-esque superheroes and Obi-Wan and Anakin is the usual idiots they are, give it a go <3
✰(Explicit, Complete) if you love me, let it remain unnamed by @tennessoui
Obi-Wan Kenobi is grappling with his failure to protect his padawan from Dooku's blade. As the galaxy around them plunges into civil war, he overcorrects and refuses to allow Anakin's Knighting ceremony in order to keep him by his side where he will be safe.
His padawan is less than pleased.
Only trying to help, the Force overcorrects Obi-Wan's overcorrection and pulls them into an alternate universe where they run into a different version of Anakin Skywalker altogether.
But Obi-Wan Kenobi is also grappling with new, sudden, and insistent feelings for his padawan. He overcorrects by following the older version of Anakin into bed.
His padawan is less than pleased.
The Force….lets them figure this one out on their own.
OBIWAN GETS TAG TEAMED. OBIWAN GETS DOUB- [gunshot] Look, this fic is hot but beyond that, I loooove time travel shenanigans, and Anakin being pissed off at a future version of himself is so delicious.
✰(Explicit, Complete) Lex Talionis by @intermundia
The ancient Galactic Republic is dying slowly—an ugly death of corruption, sprawl, and decay—with the sin of slavery hanging over its every triumph. The beleaguered Jedi Knights are too few to adequately patrol and police the entire Republic, and are faced with complacency and greed at every turn. Born into a crumbling and stagnant galaxy, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are faced with the greatest challenge of all: themselves.
Obi-Wan likes rules and control. When the galaxy around him stops playing by the rules, what is a Jedi to do? Anakin needs rules and restraint. When the galaxy around him conspires to set him loose, what is his Master to do? Falling slowly or falling fast, falling through lust or falling through wrath—it all leads to delusion and moral decay. What can be born from the ashes?
Or, how Obi-Wan and Anakin fell to the dark side, obtained their revenge, and saved the galaxy in the process.
An insane canon-divergence AU, this is so intricate and could truly be a movie of its own lol. It features (eventually) sith! Obi-Wan and sith! Anakin, so beware of that, but I don't want to spoil that story. Also that I would never rec any story that has a sad ending :)
✰(Explicit,A/B/O, Complete) i shouldn't cry (but i love it) by blahzarry
Obi-Wan knew alphas that liked to be taken existed. He knew it was possible. But not once in his life had he felt even tempted to try it.
...It's exactly what it says on the tin. Once again one of those: either you will love it or hate it kind of tropes I think, omegaverse is what it is. If you're familiar with it and the idea of an Alpha Obi-Wan growing to enjoy submission sounds like up your alley (it is mine,) then by all means!
✰(Teen, Complete) that mouth of yours looks like it gets you into trouble by @tennessoui
Obi-Wan Kenobi inhales a powder that compels him to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Good thing Obi-Wan doesn't have any secrets.
or,
by god, Obi-Wan Kenobi is forced to talk about his feelings. It's, on the whole, regrettable for everyone involved. Or it would be once everyone stops laughing about it.
Fairytale tropes! I've always loved truth serum/truth spell trope where one party is obliged to tell the truth. Add one repressed Obi-Wan Kenobi into the mix? Perfection. I looooove this fic so much, it's wholesome and touching at the same time.
✰(Explicit, Complete) The Bottom of the Ninth by @ragnarlothcat
"No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball." - Casey Stengel
Obi-Wan Kenobi is the veteran catcher of the Coruscant Jedi, a talented baseball team that have been down on their luck. The addition of rookie pitcher Anakin Skywalker might be a sign all that's about to change.
Especially for Obi-Wan.
Lmao anyone who knows me a *little* bit knows that I have an obsession with sports aus. This is no exception. Granted I know *nothing* about baseball, but this was a perfect balance of actually explaining the sport without getting too heavily into details and making it a perfect obikin story. WE 👏 NEED 👏 MORE 👏 SPOTS 👏 AUS 👏
✰(Teen, Complete) the sound of your voice (helps me find peace) by izazov
It was a promise to Qui-Gon Jinn that had allowed Anakin Skywalker into Obi-Wan Kenobi's life. But it was Obi-Wan Kenobi who had allowed Anakin Skywalker into his heart.
OR (more accurately):
Five times Anakin had to ask for a story. And one time Obi-Wan offered it freely.
Ahhh this author, this fic. It's so beautifully written, canon compliant au, and it just hurts (in the most beautiful, gut wrenching way). It's beautifully melancholic, I always love their works even if they leave me with a pang in my chest.
✰(Explicit, Complete) Conceal Me What I Am by @himboskywalker
Separatist Propaganda is turning the Republic against the Jedi Order and the Senate sees no choice but to join in a political alliance to fight dissent on a unified front.An alliance is proposed through an arranged marriage,between a Jedi Knight and Republic Senator. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi are chosen as representatives of the political union by Darth Sidious, meant to bring ruin to the marriage and the public's support of the Jedi,for Obi-Wan Kenobi is not the Beta he claims. But even Sidious does not know of the secret Anakin Skywalker keeps, that he is not the Alpha the galaxy believes him to be.
Another omegaverse fic!! This time with omega Anakin and alpha Obi-Wan in disguise. I read this fic eons ago (read: when I first got into the fandom) but it always stuck with me, because I love sneaky stuff like this - also it's plot driven! It's an au but within the same universe, so again, if you don't have anything against omegaverse, give it a read.
✰(Teen, Complete) we should run after each other (and be with one another) by Resacon1990
Even though he’s still full of anger and rage, he pushes it all aside to force a smile and squeeze Anakin’s shoulders.
“No, Anakin,” he says quietly, “I could never blame you for his death.”
It’s the first time Obi-Wan ever lies to Anakin.
or
Five times Obi-Wan lied to Anakin, and the one time he told the truth.
Another 5+1 fic!! I love this fic, also semi canon compliant, and very much gut wrenching. I love this kind of story telling where we get to see the span of their lives throughout 5+1 thingies. This is a beautiful story <3
✰(Explicit, Complete) Swear On It by dirkygoodness
Anakin lets his feet take him a good ways from camp before he actually stops, breathing fast from the memory of his dream.
He squeezes his eyes shut tight against it and holds his breath for a moment, trying to get himself under control. Tonight it doesn’t seem to be working, though, because the images of people he knows and loves hurt and bloody and dead just won’t get out of his mind.
YOOO - this is one of the first fics I've read in this fandom and oh my god. It's kind of PWP - but the characterization, the feeling, the EMOTION. It's all there. It's a two parter - read them both, it's so good, it's one of those fics where I read it and I was like. Oh yeah this happened in canon.
✰(Explicit, Complete) Bare grace misery by @thedunesea
Anakin let out a pained sound. “I failed my men, I failed you, and now… and now this. Could you, Obi-Wan? Could you come from this humiliation?” His voice broke, and then he was weeping, hot tears streaming down his face even as he kept stroking himself, his sobs of shame intermingling with his whimpers of pleasure. The mixture was so unbelievably erotic Obi-Wan felt his head spin.
Or: Anakin gets poisoned, and the antidote that saves his life has some uncomfortable side effects.
Ahhh, gorgeous fic! Have to say the only version of Dom!Obi-Wan I enjoy is Gentle!Dom Obi-Wan and this fic does it justice! It's such a nice read - I love some self shaming Anakin and Gentle! Obi-Wan guiding him through those feelings.
✰(Explicit, WIP) toss overboard what is too heavy to carry by @tennessoui
In the aftermath of the Clone Wars, Palpatine dead and untold tragedy averted, the Republic struggles to heal and rebuild itself.
Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi attempt to do the same with their own relationship, riddled as it has become with betrayal, distrust, and hurt. It's not going too well. Desperate and unwilling to accept that maybe their friendship is ruined, Anakin finds a counselor they can talk to, one that specializes in healing "teams."
Or, as the counselor would probably put it, married couples, which they are decidedly not. Not that she knows that though. And not that they know that she thinks they're in a romantic relationship either. What a silly assumption to make. It's not like they're more intimate than lovers or anything.
I know I recced this before, and I'm usually against that but lol. This fic, this fic truly holds such a special place in my mind, it fits in SO WELL with the headcanons I have of Obi-Wan and Anakin, the little questionnaires they answer in the end of each chapter - the EVERYTHING. I'm not even exaggerating this fic is what's keeping me tethered to the obikin fandom atm. I really get a bit stupid when Kit's fics are involved, she is probably the author who got me hooked on obikin, so I would suggest checking out her work in general. I could rec anything and everything from her.
✰(Explicit, Complete) You can call me baby (You can call me love) by @lilredghost
Four times Anakin calls Obi-Wan an old man, plus one time he realizes how much it bothers him.
I love Sub!Obi-Wan who loved being called baby and who is also a bit insecure and this is why this fic is here sue me.
✰(Mature, Complete) Fringe believers and hopeless wanderers by iiscos
A Jedi falls in love with a kind, but poor mechanic aboard the luxurious, ill-fated R.S.C. Terranova.
A Star Wars/Titanic AU
A titanic AU!!! I love this so much, (it does have a happy ending) and the premise is so intriguing, (as someone who has never seen titanic) I love this fic greatly)
Look - this is OF COURSE not a comprehensive list. I tried to compile somewhat of a combo of new and old fics, of course of the ones I've loved. Please do check out the author's other fics if you like their fic you've read! That's a sure way to discover more fic you'll most likely enjoy. Hope you like this, I wish I could do more, but it takes up more time than you can imagine, so, until next time!!!
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didhewinkback · 9 months
Note
so I love your writing - so much - and I’m brand new to the Harry styles fandom (I’ve admired from afar for years)… could you recommend your favourite writers and fics?? I love your writing so I know that you have to have some good recommendations up your sleeve!!!
omg hiii welcome !! this is so nice and this is my favorite question ever im more than happy to rec bc i am a fic reading machine okay.
so i've listed my faves by my faves as well as their masterlists so you can check out their other works and in reading it back i realize instead of making you a quick easy go-to guide to my fave fics i've written you a novel with soooo many recs. god bless and godspeed and i hope you enjoy !!
(in no particular order)
tis the damn season by @harrytheehottie i love el's writing so so much so its tough to pick a fave bc spinning out is really such a close second but these two mean everything to me, i just love their dynamic and the strong characterizations and the drama !! here's her masterlist, you really cant go wrong here they're all fireeee
hazy by @oh-honey-styles i am a self proclaimed anne stan so picking a fave is super difficult but hazy just sneaks above the rest for me because i just love them and i loove how harry is written here check out her masterlist tho but they are all so so good anne's writing is everything
lighthouse by @for-fucks-sake-h okay my fave of anna's changes allll the time but i did rec jamaica me happy last time so lighthouse wins this round but also all of their one shots/ blurbs are so good too i think about la paloma and never coming back down all the time. check out her masterlist as well u are guaranteed to find ur own fave
the close quarters series by @andwhenshesays was everything to me in 2020 but also you have to read trick of the light & have ur life changed (i can't find kate's masterlist but all of their fics are top tier so go poke around there)
all things yet to come by @soysauceharry is one of my favorite fics i've ever read and i come back to it often, amina has such a way with language and love stories that make it such a delightful re-read, i find new favorite lines all the time. check out their masterlist bc you really cant go wrong there
a soft place to fall by @hslllot i love it so much and can't wait to read more of it. it is such a lovely world to dive into, a perfect escape and shan has a really lovely way with the characters. check out their masterlist bc its toooo too good
the last line by @harry-on-broadway okay im a big tying you to me girl but this new series by sarah was so good, really fun dynamic between penny and harry and lots of fun drama. a really fun read, check out their masterlist too everything is so good
cavalcami by @all-things-fic ohhh i just adore liz's writing it was actually impossible to just rec one, im really partial to the quarantine harry series as well. i just reallly love the relationship dynamics they explore so well, each fic is such a lovely journey and also hot as hell most of the time not gonna line. you can find their masterlist here
infatuation on a mutual level by @harrygoeswest i really loooved this one by katie its so lovely and sweet and fun, i read it in one sitting i was truly hooked, i can't find a way to link her other stories in one go but check them out they're all great!!!
cloudbusting by @starsstruck is one of my all all time faves, i re-read it often. its such a lovely story with really interesting characters and a really lovely love story that makes you want to scream in the best way possible. charlotte has a way of writing really palpable chemistry, i can't find a way to link a masterlist of hers but one of her shorter fics blue dream is one of my faves as well
if you're looking for something shorter and sweet that will make u sweat pls check out our queen of the blurbs @harrysblackcoat nikki alwaysssss brings the fire with her blurbs, which you can find all of them right here it is actually impossible for me to choose a fave but i think of this one often lhh 4ever
ugh a lot of my other faves have since deleted which i respect and understand and also i have just recommended you about 600,000 words to read so godspeed lmk what you think, also if you read any of their works be sure to shoot them a message it really means soooo so much when readers reach out to say what they've liked about the fics!!
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writeouswriter · 5 months
Note
pls no anti ai art demagogy on my dash, thx
(X) in reference to this reblog I assume.
This is the wildest ask I’ve ever gotten.
“Please no love for the humanity of creation on my dash, please. Please no acknowledgement that art and the human experience behind those making it is inherently and fundamentally intertwined. Please no shoving the fact in my face that art is meant to connect rather than consume.
And please no pointing out the basic truth that most AI engines are built off the stolen work of others.”
Demagogy, noun: political activity or practices that seek support by appealing to the desires and prejudices of ordinary people rather than by using rational argument.
You come into MY house, you tell me what not to reblog on MY blog, and you what? Call me “irrational” and insult my understanding of the topic in the process?
Political activity, political activity... fuck off. Actors, writers, artists, those most affected by this ARE the ordinary people, and their concerns and fears surrounding this are perfectly rational.
And you know, nothing hits it home more for me than when I thought about my favourite show at the moment, the one that makes me lose my mind a thousand times over, I thought about everything in it that makes me tick, thought about both strong points and weak points, because it is flawed, god, is it flawed because people inherently are, and that’s the beauty, but mostly, I thought about the sheer amount of care/thought and depth put into it in a way I've never really seen before and in a medium/genre/whatever you'd absolutely never expect to find that thought put into, especially if taken completely at a surface level. Thought about the levels of metaphor and symbolism layered in beneath the silliness, thought about the callbacks and clever timing, thought about the behind the scenes arguments about what direction worked best for the narrative and the audience, arguments that took place because of how much they cared not just about telling a good story, but about telling one that really means something to them.
Thought about the love, the time, the excitement and the flair and personality and background and intent of each and every person behind the team bleeding its way into the scripts, into the acting, into the heart of what makes it truly what it is, and how that love bleeds into the audience as well, how that love and human connection is what prompts people to write full page essays and analyses on it, draw fanart for it, create the most beautiful fics for it, that love is what prompts them to laugh and cry and vibrate at the speed of sound thinking about it, and what prompts thousands upon thousands to come together in their appreciation for and relation to it, rallying around it like a group of cavemen around a campfire when they had never before seen the flame.
And then.... then I thought about the idea of that same show being written by an AI and genuinely felt physically ill. Because no real care will have been put into that beyond "If it looks like a TV show, sounds like a TV show, it must be a TV show." And on the surface, maybe it’d look fine, I’m sure some people wouldn’t notice. But it’d not only be made without thought, but consumed without thought. And, sure, maybe that'll fill you up in the short term, but it's gonna leave you feeling hollow and sick eventually. Because stories are not a thing to be mass produced with a random assortment of the cheapest quality materials on a conveyor belt that shovels them directly into people's throats at the most efficient speed possible, stories are not a thing meant to just be consumed! They are a thing made with intent in every aspect, even when accidental because our lives shape it subconsciously, they are a thing made with love, a thing to be savoured! And yes, for that to happen, they will take a lot of time and hard work and dedication, all of which deserve fair compensation and respect, all of which cannot just be replaced by a sham amalgamation of these things, and they will be all the better for it.
And on some level, corporations know this, and they want you to blame their shortcomings on the writers, on the artists, they want you to look at things like the strikes and those rallying against AI and get mad that they’re keeping art from the common people, or forcing them to come to this, or they want you to think they’re simply trying to make art more accessible, all the while building their conveyor belts in the background with the blood of those they’re kicking down, taking away jobs and shoving the humanity out of the picture.
Art is made to communicate, and sometimes it’s frustrating when we can’t get that communication across, when the image we want to convey is out of our skill level, our capability, when our words get tangled up, jumbled together and we need a helping hand to find the right ones again, and on this level, maybe AI could be a useful supplemental tool, or a fun little thing to mess around with, if ethically sourced, if used for good, if taking into account and graciously acknowledging exactly how it’s being used as a tool, rather than trying to pass it off as something it’s not.
But is it political, is it irrational, to merely state that the human condition cannot be replaced?
——
The unfollow button is free, I don’t work for you.
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fanaticsnail · 5 months
Note
Hello! I was just wanting to request a request your way for Mihawk (OPLA) with a fellow Warlord please?
Preferably female and chubby (if that's okay!) who uses Polearms/spears and has a kind + warm attitude.
Scenario: Both have to work together under the orders of Garp to track down some pirates who've ganged together to cause havoc and its them having to figure out how to actually work together as a team and not individuals with mutual pining >:)
Song: Tongues and Teeth - The crane wives
Have an awesome day!
Pining 😫. Yes, absolutely. Of all of fanfic writing, pining is my absolutely favourite flavour to divulge in.
The song! I'm ✨obsessed✨. It's really shown me the vibe you want for the piece written.
I can already see the battle sequences of push and pull. I'm imagining she be more scrappy in her style, her joy in battle gleefully falling from her lips as they dance amongst each other in the thralls of combat; Mihawk always remaining steady and calculated with his blade.
Mutual respect for their titles, Ginger Cat x Black Cat/Doberman energy.
Disclaimer: I don't regularly utilise body, skin, eye, hair descriptors other than using terms that are exclusively feminine or masculine to have the "reader" be imagined in a multitude of ways. I am more than happy to make an exception to my rule in this case, but I usually prefer not to for ambiguity.
I have a few other pieces to complete before this one, unless the dice roll otherwise.
In the interim, here is the Masterlist for you to consume should you desire some other Mihawk fics. I'm yet to truly write a one-shot for him (I tried, and now it's an ongoing series).
He makes appearances in:
Dance Series: swing, sway, shag & shimmy (Mihawk x reader x Buggy fic) {Synopsis: a night off was granted by captain Buggy and his pirates. Acrobatic reader impresses both of the men with her dance style. Both men decide they have the ability to potentially play nice as they share the acrobat. (Smut in chapter 4)}
Bar Shift: as a patron of Baratie (Sanji fic) {Synopsis: Sanji and Reader are work husband and work wife. They develop feelings of infatuation as they flirtatiously navigate their way through developing rapport as coworkers and now a relationship.}
The Apprentice: the one-shot that got out of hand because I love talking about wine (Mihawk fic). {Synopsis: bitchy boss and their bratty underling, enemies to lovers. Sword fighting, wine tasting and navigating complex feelings. (nudity mentioned in chapter 2 and 3, chapter 5 smut)}
You Should Be Sad: 3-part series of angst, fluff & smut. {Synopsis: Mihawk ruins his relationship with his former fiancé by not giving her the attention and care she truly longed for. She is a talented musician, performing at Baratie when she sees her ex-lover. Sings her wrath to have him feel something. (Angst in part 1, fluff in part 2, smut in part 3)}
I've also got two fics that are active works in progress upcoming:
El tango du Mihawk: Dance Series. {Synopsis: a talented thief manages to obtain an invite to the marine ball and decides to utilise it as a great opportunity to steal from the wealthiest members of the world government. Mihawk immediately recognises them and decides to toy with their scheming, tango dancing ensues.}
The Marine's Mistake. {Synopsis: something horrible occured to rid the warlord of his signature facial hair. Cadets had gathered and began whispering in hushed tones as Garp held a seated meeting with the warlord at a table in a run of the mill tavern. A new transfer does not recognise the sleek cheeks of the handsome gentlemen and immediately decides to approach to flirtatiously engage him over a drink or two. Mihawk is amused.}
I will add this to the ever growing Mihawk list and aim to complete it shortly! Thank you for your request! ❤️
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sequinsmile-x · 5 months
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The Final Say
Emily wants to put the Christmas tree up in mid-November. Aaron does not.
It's a good thing Emily is an expert at getting her husband to see her point of view.
-x-
Hi friends!
This fic came from a conversation I was having with @cloudlessly-light, who after seeing my Christmas tree in the background of a photo of my cat, told me off for having it up so early haha
Naturally my brain went to 'imagine Aaron and Emily having differing views on when the tree should go up'...and that then turned into a smut fic.
I'm sure I say this every time I write smut, but I truly think this is the filthiest thing I've written so far.
Let me know what you think <3
-x-
Words: 3.5k
Warnings: Smut, 18+ (oral sex, a smidge of dirty talk)
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
Emily loved Christmas. 
She always had, ever since she was a kid. It was something that had always been the same wherever she was in the world, a piece of home that followed her and her mother no matter where they lived. She knew it was for show, she’d known that even when she was young. The tree and the decorations weren’t for her, but for the parties her mother would host, for the dignitaries that would always seem to be in their house, but that never diminished her enjoyment of it. The sparkly lights and brightly coloured ornaments never failing to warm her from the inside out. 
She’d always hoped that one day she’d decorate a tree with her own family. Pulling the same ornaments and decorations from a box they stored in the attic every year, not new ones in every city, and placing them on a tree they picked out together, not one that seemingly appeared one morning. 
She loved Christmas, and that meant she felt the pull to put the decorations up as soon as the days ticked over into mid-November. She wanted to sit on the couch curled up with her children and her husband and look at the tree. She wanted to bathe in the warm light the string lights emitted, a hot chocolate with whiskey in her palms. 
She was even more excited this year than usual. It was Issac’s first Christmas, and even though she knew the 3-month-old would have no clue what was going on, she couldn’t wait to include him in all of the traditions they’d come up with since she’d moved in with Aaron and Jack. 
The only issue is, that no matter how much she loved Christmas, Aaron did not. 
It’s not that he hated it, far from it. As it got closer to the actual date he got involved in the festivities. He’d walk alongside her at the Christmas markets, one hand in hers and the other in Jack’s, letting them drag him from stall to stall. The debate about the Christmas tree would always begin as soon as she started to think about it, making sure she dropped not-so-subtle hints that would make him raise an eyebrow at her. 
It was during their first Christmas together, their relationship only a few months old at the time, when she realised she could use his inability to say no to her when she was naked for her own gain. She’d seduced him easily by walking into his bedroom with nothing more than his favourite lingerie on, and once he’d fucked her into the mattress he’d agreed to her putting the tree up whenever she wanted to. 
It had become a tradition in itself. A game between the two of them that would always end with her winning, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t have some fun along the way. In fact, she’d just laid the evidence of last year's fun down for his afternoon nap in the nursery. 
Issac was asleep, Jack was at a friend's for a sleepover, and she had Aaron all to herself. 
She finds him in their bedroom, focused on putting away laundry, and she wraps her arms around him from behind. She kisses his shoulder through his shirt, and he stops what he’s doing to place his hands over hers on his stomach. 
“Did he go down okay?” 
She hums and nods, “He’s fast asleep,” she says, kissing his shoulder again before she encourages him to turn to face her, her hands on his hips, “Which means we have some time to ourselves,” she says, looking up at him through her lashes. 
“Oh really?” He asks, his hands skating over her waist before they land on her lower back, “What were you thinking?”
She pretends to think about it, her teeth sinking into her lower lip, “We could…put up the tree?” 
He groans, shaking his head at her as if he hadn’t known this was coming, “Em, it’s too early.” 
She pulls him towards the loveseat they keep in the corner of their bedroom and she pushes him down onto it before she sits on top of him, placing her knees on either side of his hips. She pouts as she settles into his lap, purposely making a point of grinding against him as she does. She bites her lip when she feels his hands tighten on her hips almost involuntarily. 
“But it’s Christmas,” she complains as she frowns at him.
“It’s mid-November,” he quips, raising his eyebrow at her. He knew how this would end, that he’d end up giving in like he did every year, but it didn’t mean he was going to give in easily. Especially when it usually ended well for him. 
“The boys will be excited,” she says, cupping the back of his neck, making him shiver as she runs her fingers across his skin, “They love Christmas.”
“Jack is 8, he knows when Christmas actually is, and Issac is 12 weeks old, he isn’t even aware it’s Christmas. Or that he has feet.” He replies, watching as she attempts to suppress a smile, “The only things he’s aware of are your breasts and when it’s the most inconvenient time to wake up from his nap.” 
She leans in to stamp her kiss against his, smirking when he chases her as she pulls back. She cups the back of his head. “Well,” she says, kissing him again, “Then we’d better hurry up and make sure we don’t give him a chance to interrupt us.” 
Aaron groans when she rolls her hips against his again, and he grasps her waist, his thumbs pressing into the bottom of her ribcage. 
“We’re not putting the tree up,” he says, the challenge weak even to his ears, and she leans in, her lips against his ear as she responds. 
“We’ll see about that.” 
She kisses him fiercely, her tongue sweeping through his mouth as she tightens her hold on his head, her nails scratching at his scalp. He groans and his hands slip to her hips, holding them tightly as he pulls her closer. He pushes his hips up into hers and she whimpers at the feeling of him half hard under her. She only pulls away when she needs to, sucking in a breath before she sinks her teeth into his lower lip, tugging at it before she lets it go. 
“Let me convince you,” she says, kissing him quickly before she shifts back in his lap, her fingers reaching for his shirt. She unbuttons his shirt, kissing and nipping at his skin as she reveals it, paying close attention to his scars like she always did. It was something they’d done for each other since the beginning, lips and fingers delicately pressed against the raised skin. Neither of them ever forgetting to worship the other where they’d been stitched back together, proof of what they’d survived to make it to each other. 
She gets out of his lap and kneels in front of the loveseat, her hands reaching for his belt buckle and she looks up at him as she undoes it and his pants. He lifts his hips just long enough for her to pull his pants and boxers. She kneels in between his legs and takes his cock in her hand and clenches her thighs together, desperate for some friction, at the punched out groan that escapes him the moment she touches his heated skin. 
“Fuck, Em,” he grunts, his eyes fixed on her as she leans forward, maintaining eye contact with him as she licks the tip of him, a smile flashing across her face as his hips twitch towards her face. 
“Impatient,” she teases, slowly pumping him up and down, her breath skipping over him, her smile turning into a smirk as he all but growls at her. 
“Sweetheart-”
He’s cut off as she takes him in her mouth, his words lost to a moan as he feels himself hit the back of her throat, the sound of her gagging sparking a fire in his gut. He pushes his fingers through her hair, tightening them in the strands as she bobs up and down, using her mouth and hands in tandem. 
“Fuck, baby,” he says, “You’re so fucking good at that.” He says, and the praise makes her stomach flip, forcing her to once again press her thighs together. She takes him as far down her throat as she can, only spurred on as she chokes around him and he thrusts up into her mouth. He feels a familiar tug in his gut, and he stops her, gently tugging at her hair, smiling as she lifts her head and looks at him with a dazed look in her eyes, a line of spit trailing from her lower lip to his tip. 
He cups her chin and encourages her upwards, steadying her on her feet as he pulls her in to kiss him, groaning as he tastes himself on her lips. When he breaks the kiss he smiles at her.
“Take your clothes off and get on the bed,” he says, his voice low and raspy. She follows his instructions without really thinking about it, shedding her clothes with little fanfare as she watches him finish the job she’d started by taking off his clothes. 
He’s on her the second she’s on the bed, pressing her into the mattress by laying on top of her, finding his place in the cradle of her hips. She groans as he kisses down her chest, his touch turning gentle as he skates over her breasts, well aware that was his youngest son’s domain for now. He licks along the length of the scar beneath her ribcage, mapping out each line of it from where he’d memorised it long ago. The topography of her body his favourite thing, each hill and valley of her skin somewhere he could happily get lost in. Since she’d had Issac he’d taken the opportunity to learn the ways her body had changed, every part of her infinitely more beautiful to him now she’d carried their son and kept him safe. 
She’s squirming beneath him by the time he reaches her thighs, his hands surprisingly gentle as he pushes them apart. He feels pride swell in his chest at how wet she is already, how she glistens in the light of their bedroom, and he breathes her in. 
“So wet for me already, sweetheart,” he says, nipping the top of her thigh with his teeth before soothing it with a kiss, smiling when she bucks her hips, “I’ve barely touched you,” he says, turning his head to her other thigh and giving it the same treatment, “You like being on your knees for me, don’t you?”
She whimpers at his words, her heels finding their place on his shoulders, digging in as a silent form of warning, “Please.” 
As much as he enjoyed teasing her, he knew their time was limited. The baby would be up soon and he didn’t want this to finish before it had really got started. 
Aaron leans in and licks through her, his groan at the taste of her matching the one that escapes her at the pleasure that rushes through her. He pushes two thick fingers inside of her, curling them upwards as he does so, smirking against her skin when she rolls her hips just as he hits the right spot. 
“Oh god yes,” she says, trying to keep quiet, “Please don’t stop.” 
She pushes herself up onto her elbows to look down, to see his face buried in her, the tension in his arm as he moves his fingers in and out of her. The burning in her belly starts to build, crackling through her nerves as it’s ready to ignite. He looks up at her, and as their eyes meet she falls over the edge, the intimacy of it giving her the final shove she needs. 
He’s on her in a second, his lips against hers as he captures the moan that escapes her, pushing his tongue into her mouth, sharing the taste of herself with her. It’s only when she comes down from her high that she realises her legs are still over his shoulder. He’s bent in her half, something that a few short months ago she would have thought was a move that was now beyond her, and his cock notches over her sensitive and swollen clit. 
“I didn’t know I could still bend that far,” she says breathlessly, smiling when he grins at her, his eyes blown black with desire, “Thought I’d lost that ability around the time my hips got wider.” 
“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he grunts, pushing forward so he enters her, both of them groaning at the familiar stretch, “You’re fucking perfect.” 
She clenches around him, the angle, the fact she’d barely come down from her last orgasm, making everything seem more sensitive, closer than it usually did. He stills his hips, clearly trying to give her a moment, but she doesn’t need or want it.
All she needs is him.
“Move,” she insists, purposely clenching around him, the breath knocked out of her as he does so involuntarily, “Please move.” 
He never could say no to her, not really, so he does as he’s asked, his rhythm unforgiving as he thrusts in and out of her. She grasps his back, her hips matching the rhythm he has set, one she was as familiar with as she was with every inch of his body. Even back when they did this for the first time there had been a sense of familiarity about it, something that felt like coming home. 
She eventually feels the spark in her belly again, and she can tell he’s close too, his hips slowly becoming more sporadic. 
“I’m going to come,” she says, clenching around him again, “I’m so fucking close.”
“Me too, baby,” he replies, burying his face in her shoulder, his hand drifting down to her clit to draw soft but concise circles over her, “Let me feel it.” 
She comes, her teeth sinking into his neck to stop herself from screaming, and it triggers his orgasm, the feel of him coming deep inside of her making her sigh. They lay there for a moment before he pushes himself up on his hands, his palms on either side of her head before he leans down to kiss her. He sits up just enough that her legs slip off his shoulders, slumping against the bed in a way that made her feel as light as a feather and as if she was made of lead at the same time. She pats his chest as he lays back down next to her, still desperately trying to suck air back into her lungs. He kisses her cheek and then turns her head just enough to kiss him. She smiles as she pulls back, her hand on his cheek.
“Okay,” he says one of his hands trailing down her side, smiling as she shivers, “We can put the tree up.” 
She chuckles as she kisses him softly, a gentle press of her lips against his, “I always win, why do you even fight it?”
He shrugs, “Why would I when we have so much fun along the way?” He says, and she shakes her head at him as he waggles his eyebrows at her, and she presses her thumb into his lower lip, feeling the familiar plushness. 
“You better not have gotten me pregnant this year,” she jokes, well aware it wasn’t a possibility, that she was on her birth control and they weren’t actively trying like they had been last year, “We barely sleep as it is.” 
Aaron laughs and shakes his head at her, “No one can ever know Issac is the product of last year's Christmas tree debate.” 
She smiles as he kisses her thumb, but her response is cut off by a cry from down the hall, “Speaking of Santa’s little helper,” she quips, “He’s done with his nap.” 
“I’ll get him,” Aaron says, stamping one last kiss to her lips before he stands up and walks over to his dresser to get a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.
“Good,” she replies, resting on her elbows to look at him, throwing him a wink from where she was still lying on the bed, “Because my legs still aren’t working.”
___
They have the team over for Thanksgiving. 
Everyone took turns hosting, even though Dave did most of the cooking every year, and this time it was decided it made the most sense for everyone to come to their house since they had the youngest kid. 
Emily smiles as she glances over at Aaron, Issac in his arms and Jack excitedly talking to his father and Dave, before she walks over to join JJ, Derek and Spencer who are all standing around the tree. Derek smiles curiously at her as she stands next to him.
“How did you convince Hotch to put up the tree, Princess?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looks back at it, “I thought he used to have a strict ‘not before December’ rule when it came to decorations.” 
JJ chuckles, cutting Emily off before she can reply, “You don’t want to know, Derek,” she says, taking a sip of her wine, “Penelope made the mistake of asking last year and she still hasn’t recovered,” she leans in closer as if they are conspiring, “Plus, Hotch has a hell of a hickey on his neck. Do the math yourself.” 
Emily feels her cheeks go red as everyone looks over at her husband, the bruise on his throat not quite covered by his shirt collar. 
“Oh, gross,” Derek says, and Emily rolls her eyes. 
“Oh come on, Aaron and I are married. We have a baby, it can’t be a surprise we have sex,” she shrugs, looking back over at her husband, smiling as he continues to talk to Dave whilst he bounces Issac in his arms, trying to soothe the slightly cranky baby, “Besides, I know how to get what I want. And what I want is the Christmas tree being put up on November 15th.” 
“So this happens…every year?” Spencer asks, the question escaping him before he really thinks it through, and she looks over at him, her eyebrow raised. 
“I’m sure I’ll regret asking this question,” she says, “But why do you want to know that?” 
“If you always put the tree up on November 15th that means you put it up 53 weeks ago,” Spencer says, and Emily’s eyes go wide as she realises what he’s figuring out, the maths pulling together in his head before she can stop him, “And you were pregnant for 39 weeks and 3 days, and Issac is about to turn 14 weeks old-”
“Okay,” she says, cutting him off with a glare and a raised hand, “That’s enough.” 
It’s too late, and she hears JJ laugh and Derek groan in disgust, “Oh God,” he says, scrunching his face up, “You’re telling me that Issac exists because you wanted the Christmas tree to go up in Nov-”
“Please don’t say anything to Aaron,” she says, almost begging. She knows JJ would never say anything, and that Spencer would be too afraid too, but Derek lived to wind her up, solidifying his place as the brother she never had or asked for, “He’ll never have sex with me again if he finds out you know.”
Derek raises an eyebrow at her, “Is that meant to deter me? If you never have sex again I never have to hear about it again.” 
“How about if you tell him I’ll kill you and no one will ever know it was me,” she says, narrowing her eyes at him, “We all know I’d get away with it.” 
Derek swallows thickly, clearly taking her seriously, and he nods, his silent agreement coming just in time as Aaron walks over and hands Issac to her. 
“Someone wants Mommy,” he says, looking back and forth between his wife and their friends as they all go deathly silent as he arrives. 
“Hi sweet boy,” Emily says, securing Issac to her chest and turning so he can see the tree, his face lighting up with a smile as he sees the lights. Aaron kisses her forehead and walks away as Dave calls for him, “You like the tree, huh?” She says to Issac, kissing the side of his head. 
“Just like his Mom,” Derek adds, hiding his smirk behind his glass as he takes a sip. She looks up at him, her glare firmly back in place.
“Derek I swear to God.” 
-x-
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iamafictionfreak · 5 months
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TIS THE SEASON TO BE MERTHUR!
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Just... Look at them!
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I miss everything about this show. Even the very bad CGI and the weak-ass plot points/armour/conveniences/contrivances.
One Christmas Eve, almost 11 years ago, the entire Merlin fandom was butchered into tiny little distraught pieces. It didn’t matter if your favourite character was Merlin or Morgana, Gaius or Gwen. The showrunners held no qualms in destroying your dreams for Gwaine or Perce. The writers did not hold back in their aim to crucify the smile on your face, to forever turn it upside down. No ship was spared. All hopes for the show to finally commit to their original intent, to bring peace between peoples, to save Albion, to allow Merlin his freedom and Arthur the truth, was brought to a bitter, fatalistic end.
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Not that I need to repeat this to you, you know what happened, but it’s worth reiterating that this travesty occurred… on Christmas Eve.
CHRISTMAS. EVE.
Christmas Eve.
The night before Christmas, the night before the day where all rules are broken and we can frolic like children around a decorated tree filled with twinkling lights, our collective hearts were shredded.
This event (once we recovered a tiny bit from the shock) gave birth to a plethora of astonishingly well written, poignant, devastating, hilarious fanfictions that had helped nurse our wounds, for nothing could TRULY heal (except a follow-up season with the original characters, come ON BBC) us.
After nearly 11 years of watching these brilliant entries grow, I never thought I’d jump on this bandwagon and write my own fic.
But I've had a few very shit years, as have many people around the world, and I started to wonder as we do when we want to prove magic can still happen.
My brain decided that it wanted my hands to write the most indulgent, likely over done fic in existence for the fandom. This thought stuck with me throughout the year – I was being STALKED by myself – and wouldn’t leave me the hell alone. This hasn’t happened in a long while.
Still… you’ll eyeroll at the idea. It's so OBVIOUS, I'm embarrassed by myself.
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What if Arthur discovered Merlin’s magic from the get-go, from episode 1?
WAIT. Hear me out…
So, Merlin saves Arthur for the first time and Arthur SEES. He sees his eyes glow.
He knows he should tell his father, but his instincts are screaming at him. Honour is at stake. This stranger saved his life. How could he reward it with an execution? So, a chance needs to be given, doesn’t it? A chance for Merlin to give up magic forever and live a life of goodness, to turn away from evil and serve Arthur…
Except Arthur can’t help but wonder. About Magic, about Merlin and magic, about the law and all the whys attached and his place within this chain.
But he also can’t trust this peasant who cavorts with the devil, practices wickedness but smiles like a child and offers compassion to everyone. Someone so duplicitous must be dangerous… except Merlin’s an actual idiot! And it’s getting really difficult to keep his guard up.
But isn’t that how sorcerers work? They twist the mind with pleasing ideas, they tempt and coerce, they manipulate.
And slowly, Arthur finds himself being manipulated too. For how could he ever want to trust this man- but he does. He does.
And we’ve never been allowed to see Merlin deal with a S1 Arthur who’s in the ‘know’. Who’s forcing him to keep it secret, who’s threatening him with trial by fire, a young Arthur who’s ignorant, arrogant and so desperate to understand what he cannot trust.
Then there's the layers, royalty versus peasantry, friendship versus alliances, goals versus ideals.
I want to write a fic where this trust is built from the ground up. One of the things about the show that made it impossible for me to let it go is that the ‘relationship’ between Arthur and Merlin fits exactly zero categories, yet all of them.
Master and servant.
Friends
Family
Allies
Enemies
Romantic ideals
Platonic soulmates
Absolute Soulmates
I could go on. And it's one of those rare shows where the writing would be given more oomph if the males leads had dared cross a line or two.
Realistically, they weren't even friends. They were master and servant who'd become a little co-dependant. Arthur could never admit to anything more because of his station, but would he have been able to being completely himself around Merlin if he'd known the truth? We never see Arthur truly be himself. He wasn't allowed to be, not even with his wife. There was always a wall - it was how he was raised and any attempt to develop was killed by plot.
We never saw Merlin completely free, not with a single person. He started happy and healthy and innocent. A liar. He ended up bitter and terrified and angry and alone. Still a liar.
What would he have become if there'd been one person he could truly trust- not Gaius. Not a man already broken and brainwashed by his own self. A victim of the system just as much as he perpetuated the hate and completely unaware of the trap he lived in.
Many of the characters in the show have the versatility and potential to be written a trillion different ways, is it any wonder that fics continue to be written?
Well, I wanted to explore a slow burn development of trust, with Arthur learning how wrong he was, how much he’s trampled on, and all about the seemingly normal peasant boy who meant more to the world than Arthur could possibly understand. What would they have become if they’d been given the time, hm?
When they were young - yes, I'm going there - wild and free.
What of Morgana, what if she could have trusted? What if she could have understood? Would it have turned out differently? Would she have still become the other side of Uther's coin?
Would Merlin still have ended up alone?
There’s lots more I wanted to touch upon, it’s a big what if, but that’ll have to wait for another post.
I’m writing a 5 part prologue that occurs between episode 1 and 2. I’m hoping to release it for Christmas and then take the time to write the rest of the season.
Unless… you guys think it’s a waste of time? Let me know.
In the meantime, I’m STILL SUFFERING (fucking show) and it's making me write, write, write!
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(gifs not mine)
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i am buckled up and seated and will patiently and excitedly wait for them. no pressure, though (in case i may have placed unnecessary pressure with this ask)! i hope you're having a great day!
- 🫣
Your patience is appreciated - and your loveliness! I would have had this up a few days ago but I've been plagued by a horrible sinus headache. Anyway, enough about me - back to you and your loveliness and being so kind as to ask whether I might have any more Larissa x reader fics on the go...
As is happens... (hope you enjoy!)
Don't Go Breaking My Heart
You’re sat across from Larissa at the Weathervane, enjoying the fact it’s a Saturday, meaning you can sit and chat and laugh for as long as you want.  You have no classes, no pressing meetings, just time for each other. 
You turn on hearing someone clearing their throat beside you, surprised to find Enid.  She’s not wearing her usual bright smile, however, but rather looks annoyed.  If you were being honest, she’s glaring daggers at you.  Wednesday has clearly taught her well.   
“May I speak with you, Professor?” 
You frown at the clipped tone from the young woman, but nod.  With a shrug at Larissa you shimmy out of your shared booth and follow the young werewolf.  You can see the hesitation written all over her face, but she schools her features and forces herself to speak.   
“Are you...are you cheating on Principal Weems?” 
“What?” you ask, incredulously.  Of all the things you had expected her to say, that was nowhere among them.   
“You heard me,” she says, her anger at you lending her confidence.  “Are you cheating on Principal Weems?  Because you look awfully close with that woman sitting there and if you are cheating on her than you really can’t be my favourite teacher anymore, because that’s just not nice....” she trails off, her confusion clear on her face as she sees you smile.  “Why are you smiling?  This is serious!” 
You can’t help but smile, though.  Honestly, as over exuberant at the young werewolf can be, you can’t help but find her adorable.  And now, here she is telling you you can’t be her favourite teacher anymore if you’re cheating on Larissa.  As if you ever would.  “Enid, I am not cheating on Principal Weems,” you tell her.  “I promise you that.” 
She doesn’t know, you realise.  Doesn’t know what Larissa is.  You lead her by the arm back to your table, slipping into your seat once more.  “Enid is concerned that I’m cheating on my girlfriend,” you tell the red head sitting opposite you, leaving it open to her how she plays this.  It’s not your secret to tell, and you want to give Larissa the choice.  If she feels comfortable telling Enid, she can.  If she wants to play it off that she’s a friend from out of town, you’re happy to play along. 
The surprised laugh at comes from the woman sat opposite you is one hundred percent Larissa, and you wonder for a moment whether that in itself will be enough of a giveaway, only to realise that you may be one of the few people who has heard Larissa truly laugh at Nevermore.  The thought brings a warmth to your chest.   
“Enid, there’s something I think you need to understand,” Larissa starts, only to be interrupted by Wednesday, appearing at the usually bubbly young woman’s elbow.   
“Y/N, Principal Weems,” she greets you both. 
Enid’s head whips around so quickly you think it might actually have hurt.  “What?!” 
Narrowing your eyes at Wednesday you have to ask; “The perfume?” 
She nods curtly.  “It is very distinctive and somewhat of a trademark, it appears.” 
You smile smugly across at Larissa, who has always told you it was ridiculous that you figured out what she was from something as simple as a scent.  She’s hidden it from hundreds of people, and yet... 
Pushing herself up from her seat, Larissa stands.  “Excuse me one moment.”   
You all watch as she heads for the bathroom appearing moments later as the woman you know and love.  She sits back in her former seat, now in her own, and your very favourite form.   
“If you’ve ever wondered what my power is, Enid, now you have your answer,” she says softly.  “But I would appreciate you keeping the knowledge to yourself,” she adds, waiting until the young woman nods before speaking again.  “Sometimes where there are lots of students about and I don’t want to make them feel like I’m spying on them, or if I just want to have a quiet afternoon, I will change form.” 
You turn to find Wednesday looking at you, head tilted in question. 
“Do you find that odd?” she asks following your nod of encouragement.  You’re surprised she waited for the permission to be granted.   
“Very,” you admit.  You always try to be honest with your students and knowing that Wednesday has apparently held on to the knowledge of what Larissa is makes you feel more comfortable sharing with her.  It will go no further than her ears, of that you are certain.  “Especially to begin with.  It’s taken a lot of getting used to, but it’s still her.  The conversation is the same, the personality, it’s just a different look for a few hours.”  It had been incredibly challenging to begin with, but the more time you spent with Larissa in these endlessly different forms, the more it made you realise something.  You’d love her regardless of what she looked like.   
“I’m sorry,” says Enid sheepishly.  “For thinking you’d cheat.  I just...” 
You reach out, stalling the blonde’s fidgeting hands.  “You were looking out for Principal Weems, and I can’t exactly be made at you for that,” you smile.  “It took some guts to come up and confront me.” 
“I’m still sorry.” 
“Well, consider your apology accepted.  Now, why don’t you both go and get yourself something and tell them to put it on my tab?” 
Enid bounces on her heels, her usual infectious smile tugging her lips upwards.  “Are you sure?” 
“I am,” you nod.  “On you go.”   
“Thank you!” beams the young werewolf, linking arms with Wednesday and dragging the pigtailed girl with her.   
You watch them go, a smile on your face.  Your attention is brought back to the woman in front of you as she toys with your hand across the table. 
“Does it make you uncomfortable?” she asks, a frown creasing her features.  “Spending time with me as someone else?” 
You link your hands together, giving a reassuring squeeze.  “It’s odd,” you admit, repeating your earlier words.  “But it’s not spending time with someone else,” you tell her.  “It’s you.  Whether you look like you, or wear another face for a while, when you’re with me, your mannerisms, your speech patterns, your laugh, even your expressions they’re all still the same.” 
Her face softens at your words.  At how well you know her.  She wonders how she hadn’t really considered how it felt for you, before, her appearing as someone else when you spent time together.  She had used her skills so often to keep an eye on her students or simply keep a low profile that it had become second nature. 
“Just one thing,” you tell her.  “Don’t kiss me in any other form but you, just as you are.  I don’t want any lips but your real ones on mine.” 
A smile spreads across those delicious lips.  “That’s a rule I can gladly abide by.”  
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booksandabeer · 1 year
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Hey,
I love your blog and I love how much work you put in when someone ask you to recommend fics for them, you’re truly beyond AMAZING! Just getting that out of the way.
And now, can you please tell me your favourite underrated stucky fics. I know this might be too big of an ask because there are SO MANY out there, so just tell me a few if you don’t mind.
Thank you so much ❤️
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Hello Stranger!
Thank you for the ask and your very kind words! ❤ It's so nice to hear that people like my rec posts because they really do take a surprisingly large amount of time to put together. Anyway, I'm not complaining & this is a lot of fun for me, so on to the recs!
I struggled a bit with how to define "underrated" and I think everybody has their own ideas of what exactly that means. Also, the Stucky ship has been around for more than a decade (even longer if you count the comics), so creative output and reader interest will fluctuate and ultimately decline over time. A Stucky fic posted after 2019--no matter how insanely good it is--will never do the numbers it would have done in the Golden Age of 2014-2018. So, for the purpose of this list, a fic written in 2016 with 15K hits or less does qualify as underrated, while a fic posted in 2021 with 10-15K would not.
Also, as always, this list is by no means an exhaustive one.
the wrote and the writ by declanlynchsrack | G, 10K
Author's summary: Bucky’s crying before he’s off the boat and he’s the least surprised out of anyone to realize it.
He’s always been a softie, a leaky faucet, and the war hasn’t changed that, so he doesn’t know why the sob that smacks him startles him bad enough that he grips the strap of his bag doubly hard, ready to swing it around like a battering ram, ready to find that cloying, invisible enemy. He’s not being ambushed, on his belly in the muck and camellias, cypress hanging low, moonlight casting an eerie smile upon Lake Como like it’s enjoying the hell out of muffled gunshots and the wet grunt of lifeblood spattering onto the undergrowth.
That’s done. He’s safe.
An AU in which Bucky--minus one arm--comes back from the war and Steve never got to go, and never became Captain America. A scrappy little story that is at once full of emotion and yet completely unsentimental. This story socked me on the jaw, tackled me to the ground, and then sat on me while twisting, twisting, twisting my arm behind my back. It also has one of my favorite descriptions of the SteveBucky dynamic I've ever read: "They’re all roughed up, the two of em, a pair of old marble statues weathered by time and harsh touches, but they know each other’s chinks and foibles and can side-step them with grace while still treating the other about as delicately as they’d handle a sack of potatoes." !!! If you prefer, you can also listen to it here: [Podfic] the wrote and the writ by quietnight
Hollywoodland by romanticalgirl | E, 69K
Author's summary: In 1930s Hollywood, the world is run on the studio system. Stars are told who to date, what to wear, what to say, and how to look pretty doing it. The only way you can really do what you want is if you don't get caught.
Steve's dating Peggy, which works out because she's married to Sam, even though it's not legal. But it's the perfect cover for the fact that Steve's gay. He's managing just fine skirting the system to find companionship, but then he meets James Barnes and life gets a lot more complicated.
If you know anything about me and my love for Golden Age Hollywood, then you won't be surprised that this pushes all of my buttons. This is loosely inspired by the real life relationship of Cary Grant and Randolph Scott (the exact nature of which we will probably never know, but let's just say it was most likely not strictly platonic). Is the world the author created here entirely realistic? No--and it's not intended to be. While it is indeed rooted in many of the horrible realities that queer people and POC have faced in the past (and are still facing today), it's a slightly kinder version of it that allows for a hopeful, if not a strictly happy ending in the traditional sense. A sumptious story with gorgeous art.
make progress together by frankoceansmoonriver | E, 24K
Author's summary: He feels like Steve’s mistress. He feels hollowed out. He feels like a jammed gun still trying to go off. When he’s not with Steve he convinces himself he’s ruining Steve’s life, and though he tries, he’s too selfish to stop. When he’s with Steve, he’d fight God himself to keep it, this tangible perfection that makes him drunk and anchors him in ways he did not know existed.
Or, the one where they both survived the war, Bucky loves Steve now, has loved Steve since he was fifteen, and the year is 1945.
This is a story that I have reread many, many times because it is the perfect wish fulfillment fic for me. It's the slightly unrealistic, or one could also say: optimistic version of what I imagine would have happened had Steve and Bucky both survived the war. That's not to say that this fic doesn't have its very angsty moments, but ultimately, this is a story about love and hope triumphing in the face of adversity, and sometimes you just want to see good things happen to good people. I know some readers may find the formatting and the non-linear structure challenging, but this is a beautiful story and I really urge you all to give it a try!
I'll Light Your Way Home series by BeaArthurPendragon | M-E, 69K, 5 parts
Author's summary: Two lost Vietnam vets find each other in a Hell's Kitchen gay bar one hot September night. This is how they find their way home.
A pattern emerges! Can you tell I'm really into (No Powers) AUs set in the early to mid 20th century? Well, here's another one, but we're actually moving into second half of the century, specifically to 1969, for this one! Bea is quite possibly my favorite Stucky writer and I have recommended her stories many times to anybody who will listen to me. It's debatable whether or not she actually counts as "underrated", I guess, but it is my personal opinion that her fics should have ten times the kudos/comments/hits they do and that she deserves to be up there with the "big names". This story in particular just completely won over my heart with its gorgeous (but not ostentatious) writing, its confident and mature characterizations, and great eye for historical detail. I *cannot* recommend her fics enough. /unabashed fangirl moment over.
The Northern Lights by ThisChairIsMyHomeNow | M, 21K
Author's summary: “I can’t feel my face,” Steve shivers.
“I can’t feel my left arm,” Bucky says, deadpan. Steve barks out a laugh. It’s all white puffs of vapor in the chilly air.
“This the spot?”
“Nah,” Bucky pants, breath ragged from the long ascent up a mountain. “Almost there.”
A post-CW canon-divergent story that the author jokingly describes in their author's note as "gay superhero reluctantly gets therapy in the jungles of Wakanda, then goes on a covert road trip." And yes, maybe I wouldn't put it quite so flippantly myself, but it's not... untrue. And yet there is so much more depth to it. If you like a Bucky who takes back his life, his identity, and his future on his own terms, a Steve who isn't reduced to being his recovery prop but instead gets to shine in all his glorious, intense, stubborn Steve-ness, and a Sam & a Natasha who aren't just window dressing for the SteveandBucky-Show, this is for you! Cap Quartet Road Trip where all four members get their moment to shine--what are you waiting for?
Misplaced Pencils | T, 13K & and our words would take us 'round the world | T, 13K by Somanywords
Author's summary:
Steve and drawing throughout the years. Also Bucky.
&
Bucky is two years old when he learns to talk.
I've spent a good 30 minutes debating with myself which one of these two I should include here, and then I just threw up my hands and said "why not both? Both is good!" So here they are, two beautifully written mid-length full-arc (childhood to sometime past TWS, where they diverge from canon) fics that I love both equally. These are standalone stories and are not set in the same universe, but they do read and feel like companion pieces to each other because both stories are told through the lense of Steve and Bucky's respective artistic sensibilities and how they use their art as a framework to make sense of the world. Misplaced Pencils gives you artist Steve who, from a very young age on, has always tried to understand the world by taking it apart into its visual components & falling back on a fixed set of questions that help him to categorize and compartmentalize the people he encounters and the emotions he feels for them (just like he will later do in other areas of his life). Only that there is of course one person who's always refused to fit neatly into just one of his categories. and our worlds... on the other hand, gives you storyteller Bucky who's constantly talking, singing, writing. Who, in the end, can't help himself but narrate even his own fall and who is later delightfully affronted by his own narrative arc in a "if I had been the one in charge, I would've written it better!" way. Both of these stories are very dear to my heart and they deserve a million more hits.
+ Bonus!
Fics that definitely could/should be on this list but that I've recced before:
You are here by dharmashark
A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall by DisraeliGears
Prisoner One by ancientreader
As Time Goes By by Trouble_With_The_Snap
new topography series by brideofquiet
What I'm Looking For series by TessaBennet
Welcome Home, Son series by BeaArthurPendragon
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I'm slowly working my way through my rec asks, so please be patient with me! Next up: Road Trip fics!
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r-2-peepoo · 1 year
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A pretty good list of the best Codywan fics you will ever read:
I recently noticed I had a very sweet ask about Codywan fics recs but I didn’t realise saving drafts of ask replies wasn’t an option so I accidentally deleted it. If you are the lovely anon who sent that message on (I believe) the 29th of October, I’m sorry for not seeing it sooner, and here is a list for you!! A definitely-not-comprehensive guide to Codywan fics because I'm actually only a few months into shipping them myself. These are just some of my favourites.
I mainly read modern AUs but I’ll try and come up with a good variety so hopefully, there’s something for everyone. Also I’ll @ the writers who have accs on here because they deserve all the praise and credit in the world (but do let me know if you’d prefer to be untagged!!)
Modern AUs
An incredibly sweet oneshot featuring Teacher!Cody hosting a parent-teacher conference and a very overwhelmed Obi Wan trying his best to raise Anakin. The characterisation of Obi Wan in particular just makes my brain go brrrrrrrrrrrr because it reminds me of how he's written in the canon novels, as in you get to see a side of him that isn’t so polished and held together. The most unconventional yet adorable meet-cute ever. I have read it many many times.
THIS FIC. Oh my gosh. I've read it three times so far and I just adore it. It's an AU based on the movie Happiest Season (although I personally think this fic is far better than the movie). I'm always here for Christmas fics and they're always quite hard to find in my experience and yet here is this absolute gem, heavy with plot and drama and the most wonderful use of canon characters and dynamics.
I've spoken about this fic by @kckenobi before and I will do it over and over until everyone on earth has had the privilege of reading it. This is, without a doubt, the best fanfiction I've ever read. I can say that definitively. My recommendation for this would be to download the playlist that goes along with it. There's a link in the notes of the final chapter. Ngl I have Apple Music so I had to individually search for each song and add it to a playlist but it is beyond worth it. Aside from the writing being phenomenal, listening to the songs while reading is honestly life-changing. I have such a soft spot for classical and orchestral music and when I tell you you won't be able to look at any other fic without thinking about what a magical experience this one was, I'm not lying. The Codywan is quite minor compared to the rest of the plot but it is incredibly sweet and feels very natural. This is great if you like Obi Wan-centric fics.
This one is very special to me because it was one of the first fics I ever read in the fandom. This author (I don’t think I can tag them but their user on here is the same as their ao3) in general has been integral to my Codywan journey and there's so many of their works I've had the pleasure of following the publication of in such a short amount of time. Another unconventional meet-cute, which just seems to be a trope that suits this ship down to the ground.
But my personal favourite fic of theirs is Natural Wonders, a Photographer!Cody and Park Ranger!Obi Wan au, because I followed the publication of it from start to end and it was an absolute blast. This author's work ethic is unparalleled. Just take a look at the range of fics they've written. It's seriously impressive. Truly one of the best writers to begin with if you're new to the ship because they've done so much. You’ll be able to find basically any genre you like the most and every single one is insanely well written.
This fic is so sweet that reading it will rot the teeth right out of your head. This is by the wonderful @legobenkenobi who is not only the loveliest person ever, he is also a remarkable writer. Cody and Obi Wan work in a library together, Obi Wan comes in with a cat, which belongs to neither of them, out of absolutely nowhere one day (which is the most in-character thing I’ve ever heard) and the fluff ensues from there. While you’re there, read everything else he’s written because every single fic should be put in a museum.
Canon Compliant/Divergent
Cody and Obi Wan get married by accident. It sounds lighthearted and funny, which it is a little, but it also feels like hugging a thousand knives at once. This author manages to capture the painful longing between the two men that would be present in the canon-verse. It's under 1k words and yet they manages to inflict so much pain so quickly. There's something so delicate about the way they write and it's such a poignant, heartwrenching take on what is usually used as a solely comedic trope. I don’t read angst that often but every word of this was beautiful.
This fic is just... I can't even describe it. It's so in-depth. I feel like you really get to experience the Star Wars universe here. There's so many characters that are usually underutilized in fics, but not here. It features blind Obi Wan and how this affects his experience as a Jedi and as a General. It’s tactful and magnificently written. You really get to go on an adventure with the characters and it's so rich in plot and follows the actual plot of parts of Clone Wars but with such a unique perspective added. The story just slots so nicely into canon. I don't want to spoil too much but it's such a fascinating take on Obi Wan's character. Also!!! It explores so many relationships that canon itself neglects to. My personal favorite other than Codywan is Obi Wan's interactions with Ahsoka. This is still an ongoing fic so get in while you still can. You won't regret it, I promise.
This is also one of quite a few times where I've been a fan of someone's work before joining Tumblr, only to realise after following them that I've been reading their work for ages. @foreverchangingfandomsao3 you are immensely talented. Thank you for writing such an immersive story. I am in love with your take on Obi Wan.
This is another ongoing fic by the lovely @farores-oak-tree. It's a post-order 66 fic and it's so so so good so far. Other than Codywan's inevitable reunion, what I love the most about this is how it uses its other characters. Sabé features heavily and I always wanted to see her again so this was a delightful discovery. Again' I don't to spoil too much because its still being posted but there is such an interesting use of canon events. It's been so much fun so far so please give it a read if you like post-order 66 Codywan. This could be the plot of Kenobi S2 and I would completely believe you. It's so good.
This is another fic I read and absolutely loved and then started following the person who wrote it on here without realising. @frostbitebakery is behind this particular work of art. This is a Sith!Obi Wan AU and honestly it’s the only one you’ll need. I really love the way it’s structured and I don’t know if this makes sense, but this author has something about their writing style that is so careful and distinctive and you can see that same style coming through in their art style too (seriously, have a look at their art, it’s absolutely insane). It’s so detailed and you can feel how much time was spent on it. Such a delight to read.
Another recommendation of a work I’d been subscribed to who I think is actually written by a mutual of mine. I’m not certain about that but regardless, I can’t begin to express how much I love it so far. It’s another ongoing fic. I have a thing for fics that detail how Cody and Obi Wan first meet because canon does nothing to show this. If it turns out this is actually how they met and how things unfolded for them, I would completely buy it. It just suits them so much. It feels so true to their characters. It’s so natural and it flows so well. I could read a thousand chapters of this.
I could recommend so many others but these are the ones I always think of when people ask for recommendations. I think I put the usernames of everyone who has an account on here but I’ll keep looking in case I missed anyone. I’ve been in a lot of fandoms but I genuinely mean it when I say Codywan authors (and artists) are the most accomplished I’ve ever seen.
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blackbird-brewster · 1 month
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Not that anyone asked, but here are a few things that truly freed me as a writer and ultimately made my writing so much better:
I started writing for myself. Truly writing for myself, not the 'I write for myself' mantra I'd parrot to people while internally still writing with the mindset of 'this is what readers want to see happen'. That shift really happened when I began writing for a rare pair which previously only had two fics to their tag on AO3. By posting in such a small tag, I was instantly freed from constantly comparing myself and my fics to everyone else. I went from 'this is what readers want, even if it's not necessarily what I want to happen' to 'this is what I want and it's great if other people enjoy it too'.
I let go of the rigid set of arbitrary rules I'd always applied to my writing. The main one was the rule that any chapters/one-shots shouldn't be longer than 3500 words in length. When I started letting myself write until the chapter/one-shot was done, regardless of length it added so much more to my writing, because I wasn't limiting myself to try and tell every story within the same set of word count parameters. Suddenly, I was writing fics that were two, three, or even four times the length of my previously published works and they were infinitely better overall because I was able to fully explore characterisation and plot.
I really let myself get a bit weird in style. I've always written fanfic from third person, past tense as a personal preference. But I started experimenting with other things: a fic where half of the story is written in flashbacks (my favourite fic I've ever written), a fic that's stream of consciousness and mostly freeform (my most well regarded fic by readers), a fic that used transcripts from canon as a way to misdirect the reader until the ending reveals a major twist (readers were so (affectionately) shocked by the ending). While I still mostly write in third person, past tense, the above fics have forever bettered me as a writer.
I stopped obsessing about stats. I used to spend so much time on the stats page of AO3, constantly comparing my fics to other people's. I used to worry myself into a panic spiral by constantly wondering why similar fics by other people had so many more hits/kudos/comments than my works. When I finally stopped checking stats nonstop, I began to truly accept that numbers aren't important. There will always be authors/fics that are more popular than me and that's okay. I realised by constantly thinking 'why don't I have more X' I was subtly turning my nose up to all of the readers who do love my work. I was saying 'You're not enough, I need more' and that wasn't fair to both me and my readers! Now, I don't worry about numbers and instead cherish every single person who reads/kudos/comments on my fics.
None of this is to say I don't ever fret over stats or whether or not readers will like what I write -- but shifting my perspectives and letting go of arbitrary self-enforced rules didn't only make my writing better, but it's also improved the way I approach writing in general, and it's also improved my overall mental health.
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