#trump got rolled

[tomorrowusa]

Even if Trump is convicted in the hush money trial, it's doubtful that he will go directly to prison immediately after the verdict; there are always appeals. But he would be a convicted felon – a first in a presidential debate.

The hilarious thing about the upcoming debates is that TRUMP TOTALLY CAVED to the Biden campaign's demands on the debate format. It will be a lot closer to the no nonsense Kennedy-Nixon debates than anything since 1960. Among other things, there will be no audience for Trump to play off of. Presumably it will just be journalists, technicians, security, and (maybe) some close family members.

Trump's followers claim he's a shrewd businessman. But he got totally rolled in the debate negotiations.

And because Trump constantly belittles Biden, so as long as Biden avoids any truly major screw-ups it will be regarded as an outrperformance and therefore a Biden win.

Biden and Trump will debate in June and September. But the terms have changed

Biden's campaign also objects to the audiences — which it described as "raucous or disruptive partisans and donors, who consume valuable debate time with noisy spectacles of approval or jeering." "As was the case with the original televised debates in 1960, a television studio with just the candidates and moderators is a better, more cost-efficient way to proceed," O'Malley Dillon said. Other terms include having microphones open only when it is the candidates turn to speak. Biden's campaign ruled out other candidates in the debates.

Yep, Trump's microphone will be off whenever it is not his turn to speak. 😁

It's clear that Biden has already won the debate on debates.

[batshit-auspol]

So a bit of background first for our international followers: Clive Palmer is one of Australia's many mining billionaires who like to meddle in our country's politics, and as such he is utterly despised by all of Australia.

Picture for context:

He is most commonly known online by the title "Fatty McFuckhead", (problematic as it may be) because he tried to sue a youtuber for $500,000 for calling him that - and he lost. So the name stuck.

Up until his most recent foray into parliament, the legally certified Fuckhead was best known for his batshit business ventures, such as attempting to build "The Titanic 2" (failed) and trying to build a dinosaur theme park (also failed, but at least nobody got eaten by a T-Rex in this one).

For a very long time Clive played the role of sugar daddy to Australia's largest conservative party, the ironically named Liberal Party, until they had a falling out in 2012 after Clive claimed there was too much money influencing politics (lol), at which point he started his own party, days after saying he totally quit and wasn't fired and he only left because he didn't want to be a distraction.

His initial run at parliament was actually kinda successful, with Palmer's group winning 4 seats, plus a member from the "Motoring Enthusiasts Party" joined them too after accidentally getting elected and not knowing what the fuck to do.

Despite this initial success however, Palmer's party (which ran on basically no platform other than "I'm rich") hit an iceberg (titanic 2 achieved) and seven elected state and federal politicians quit within the first year.

By the time the next federal election rolled around, only one Palmer party candidate was still running for re-election. The most successful of this group - Jaquie Lambie - quit to sit as an independant and is still in parliament today.

Here she is with a painting of herself strangling Clive (she sells signed copies of this)

And here the senator is posting about liking sausage:

Anyway, we're getting to the point: which is the yellow posters. By the 2016 election, just two years after forming, the party was in complete freefall. It won just 0.01% of the vote at their second election, and it was announced shortly after that Clive was quitting politics and the party was being shut down. Australia breathed a sigh of relief.

It was, of course, short lived.

Clive, in desperate need of attention, restarted the party for the 2019 election, fielding candidates in every seat and spending $60 million in advertising in an attempt to win votes.

Every single candidate lost.

It was in this campaign however that Australia really started to fall out of love with Palmer, because most of that $60 million went towards putting up the world's least compelling marketing billboards on almost every single free space in the country.

For a good six months this was basically the only thing you would see in Australia if you went outside:

Clearly Graphic design is his passion. And yes, the genius did just straight up try and copy Trump's homework while changing a few words, hoping nobody would notice.

Very quickly these all got vandalised and it seemed the ad companies didn't care enough to replace them.

We could go on posting examples, there are thousands, but the best is definitely the one Ikea put up shortly after Clive lost the election:

In 2022, Clive's party contested the election AGAIN, this time also opting to send millions on spam text messages to every person in Australia begging for people to vote for him, as well as buying almost every youtube ad for a year, at the cost of $100 million.

He won a whopping one seat.

During this election Clive ran on an anti-lockdown, anti-vax platform with the slogan "freedom, freedom, freedom". That message, however, was slightly undermined when his goons, dressed in 'Freedom!' shirts, made national news for trying to beat up a protester who turned up at a rally dressed as an annoying text message, shouting "pay your workers" at Clive.

As if that wasn't bad enough, at another rally Clive knocked himself unconscious while trying to jump up on stage, and then a few weeks later was rushed to hospital with covid, while his anti-vax ads were still in regular rotation on TV, at which point it was also leaked to the press that Palmer had been alledgedly trying to buy Hitler's car.

Utterly humiliated, the party deregistered again shortly after the election.

Can't wait until he runs again in 2025.

Anyway, on the other "Clive tweeting Miss Kobayashi's Dragon" thing, we have no idea what that means but here's a screencap:

[artcalledtattoo]

TanGent

Write sign, I’m pissed off on a corner street but used as unwise

Well no pimp nor prostitute dependent on an opinion I could be a slut

Christmas Eve I want to clock out at scheduled time & leave

5:30am from night before 7pm

10.5 hours

My supervisor told me I have permission to leave at 6am

@48 I feel compelled after my clock out time you in the wind, need MY permission

Shall I play for month @ clock out and just fucking leave at scheduled new face

Lets do this

It’s my tangent

Ran into a tan gent a he named me Bubba

“What’s up Bubba” from a soured mouth look towards eating self, shall I embarrass you now with my known of a conversation in a parking lot, I don’t answer his call out!

A minute later he was rubbing his hands in black grease and complaining while he was the toucher my laughter came afterwards, chuckling like a rooster

My words “Shouldn’t have called me Bubba” as a walked off

No comments

And I didn’t leave until what I wanted done

You duster to own me after 5:30am

Ohhhhhb

You think you do

Shall we implement my plan

Or tangent and go on

Crush some more of new management I can, I need some nicotine for a continuation bare with me and I peed too

(Nah really imagining all those faces in the bottom of bowl or is it bowels, even i can be ignorant, I’m human, while pissing out)

A urination

A urination

Opps irrigation my sterile piss entering the realms of drainage and defamation within the human species add defecation, am I really just hosing urine on shit?

Tangent

Primitive pretty male walkers

?working?

Oh yeaaaaaaa!

Hound dog with dust in

I’m 48

Yea breath heavy my skin was just snorted

I have one name, showtime highlights named I’ve stepped into the house took a picture of the gravestones in the back yard

Wtf

Headstones maybe Dead bodies in a tourist attraction I never asked the money takers to prove it!!!

What you think, you’re wise!

Hooah!

I’ve said it all different way eft ight eft ight

I’m no poser poster

Whoooah

Woah

.|.

Symbol for Prunt

Not adding a hi def clarity meaning

It’s all to UP above

Or rather down in posts of mine below

Shut my mouth yea for real read re-read below you have not read doubled

Did you just pronounce third as first

Comment below I can give guidance

Even on Christmas Eve

Privately too

You can learn a lot of things!

I’ll straighten you strengthen you for a better understanding, look below

I’ve only been doing not trying

! i, see the first lesson?

Privately or comment below

Make a fake profile don’t tell your wife, don’t tell your husband

You’ve never heard of Tumblr!

Exclamation

Fuck ups, greatness, mediocre, ahead of & in between’s, hi lo, of this LIFE or rather from my experience when has the sparkle of Mark disappeared

Back in my teen days a *#}{ explicit from hear- a butchy mom(.gay woman heteroman w/ two ugly kids) ; taught a new word, could speak about the man, who does it concern)

MarkleSparkle

And I heard it upon an arrival into the center, we were all made fun of, it’s not a dry earth we have our mixtures of humors it’s a very muddy place and spits

I just went out like that

I just went out like that

I just went out like that

Like a flight or is it power all in a wintery

Whatwoodyoucallit?

Standing Sitting Still

Just asking ausking a King or Queen or The Who rather e-there I-their a-other in their weak husbandwife folks playing games for thee another in the name of rich and profits gathering of bonus and such on backs of low caste humans

Read as you can!

Btw it’s Christmas Eve

Just now punching that in

What you think on things?

I only ask?

I conclude my Tangent

It’s Eve and sipping beer also!

;)

Merry Christmas think safety first and whatever in your travels, travel thread tread the read of past others

Your postpone in life

Think of it as saving your life

Interrupter in traffic, let it be fine

That other asshole ahead forgot the light

Read

Something

Stop just looking and watching!

A Difference

All in my continued, what

Say two, no not two but together

I knew you would need help

I wasn’t Coney hitting below a belt

I remember

Loaf of BREAD A Container of MLK

& a stick of BUTTER

Inference

Make. A Difference

In a Tangent

Merry Christmas

I really flabbergasted

Caauunt wait ;) til New Years Eve

A year is not really over till then

Right my friends

Let me end with us lyrical wind as I sit maintain a movie in my head or news and thinking about above too and I roll along sometimes even through science tripping evening

Moms Safe & Sound

Not attitude, people all around I parked far away from entrance had to walk, listen as I breathe,

You made it back safe and sound

You weren’t gone long

Last tangent, I can sleep or stay awake

I won’t last to Christmas

It don’t really matter I’ll stay into evening awake

•

Oops week later same Tangent I wasn’t going to post

Née Years Eve can’t clock out at clock out

It’s business not personal your time means nothing fucted by managerial masters

Your upper lives designed around us by us

But nothing for us

Not even last two year holidays



[todayontumblr]

Thursday the 20th.

You better believe.

We hope you've ironed your black t-shirt, found your favorite beanie, polished your golden chain. Every day for the last god knows how long, your alarm has blared you awake, you've prised your sticky eyes open, rolled out of bed, sat there staring into space for around 15 minutes, drawn back the curtains, and checked your Antonio Banderas calendar. And it was always a crushing disappointment, to compound the ordeal of waking up—sometimes, it was the 20th. Sometimes it was Thursday. From time to time it was Wednesday the 19th, or Friday the 21st, but it was never quite the money shot. Only today things are a little different—you will have completed the aforementioned morning routine and checked your calender—only today, It's Business Time. It's #thursday the 20th. Praise be! 

What makes today all the more remarkable is that its coming was foretold in an episode of The Simpsons, no less, that show with the uncanny ability to predict world events long before they actually happen. Smartwatches? The horse meat scandal? The three-eyed fish? The censoring of Michelangelo's David? Lady Gaga's Superbowl Performance? Facetime? Trump's election? The pandemic itself??

Admittedly, some of these are a little easier to vouch for than others, but it is indisputable that today's materialization of Thursday the 20th is more than a little spooky. Don't believe us? See for yourself. Sometimes, all that can be said is that the universe works in mysterious ways.

However you're spending your big day, make it count. It's only #thursday the 20th once in a blue moon, after all, but it always goes down smooth. And for some reason, unbeknownst to us, like a whisper in the breeze, today has got us thinking of another Simpsons coincidence. But perhaps some mysteries are best left unsolved.

[minisugakoobies]

The Rules - Part 1 | Bang Chan

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader Genre: smut, crack, strangers to lovers, Weddingl!AU Rating: M (18+) Warnings: drinking, kissing, exhibitionism, reader gets fingerfucked in public, dirty talk, a little bit of praise, Fuckboi!Chan has a tongue ring and a lip ring, his charisma is off the charts, reader's got impulse control problems Word Count: 4K Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own SKZ - they just inspire me

Summary: When your cousin asked you to be a bridesmaid, she gave you three simple rules to follow. Number one: Don't be late. Number two: Don't get super wasted. And rule number three: Don't fuck Chan.

A/N: This came from a request sent by @aprylynn back in, ummmm, let's not focus on how long this took and just enjoy 😆 This is just part 1, so let me know what you think - like if you want more! 💕

SKZ Masterlist

(dividers by @/saradika)

When your cousin asked you to be a bridesmaid, she gave you three simple rules to follow:

Number one: Don't be late. "To be early is to be on time. To be on time is to be late. To be late is to get cut out of the family. Don't think Halmeoni won't drop you from her will if I ask."

Number two: Don't get super wasted. "What if I have a bridal emergency and you're completely zooted, upchucking wine spritzers in the bathroom?" As if you'd drink a wine spritzer.

And rule number three: Don't fuck Chan.

She announced the third rule the first time you gathered with her and her other bridesmaids to discuss wedding details. Chan, it turned out, was her fiancé's "Best Bro" from his college frat days.

"Binnie was in a frat? Huh," was your response upon learning this new factoid.

Sun Hee rolled her eyes. "I know, it's weird, but he's grown up a lot since I met him. Chan, on the other hand…" she grimaced. "He's a fuckboy. Of the highest magnitude. S-class. A summa cum fuckboy."

"More like a someone's gonna come fuckboy, amiright?" maid of honor Ji-won snarked, cracking herself up, but she quickly stopped when Sun Hee gave her the evil eye.

"And that's bad because…" you drawled.

"Because every goddamn time one of my friends hooks up with his slutty ass, they completely lose their shit. And I! Do! Not! Have the time to deal with the fallout!" Sun Hee clapped her hands after each word, like a deranged cheerleader. "So keep your hands and your holes away from that man!"

At first, when you met the groomsmen at the engagement party, you thought to yourself that Sun Hee's rule was unnecessary. Apparently, Changbin only hung out with other ridiculously good-looking guys. Any one of them could probably show you an amazing time, if you so desired. 

And then Bang Chan walked in.

Out of curiosity, you'd looked the guy up, scouring Changbin's insta for old photos. Just so you could see what all the fuss was about. It was pretty easy to identify why Sun Hee's friends were apparently throwing themselves at the man, between his muscular build, his warm eyes, and his heart-melting smile. And as a semi-famous music producer, he's a star on the rise, which only adds to his allure. But holy shit, you were not prepared for the charisma.

He strolled into the room in a leather jacket like he was walking onto a stage, radiating confidence from every inch of his rather thick frame, as if expecting an audience to start applauding at his presence. Maybe that's why you weren't surprised to see Changbin and his friends light up as they caught sight of their friend.

Of course, they weren't the only ones to notice him.

"Oh damn, look at the snack that just walked in," Ji-won whispered, tugging on your sleeve. "He's tasty."

"Yeah he is," another bridesmaid, Hae, piped up. "Is it too late to call dibs?"

"Gawi bawi bo!" Ji-won suddenly yelled, but you grabbed her hand as she threw a scissors symbol into the air.

"Sorry, ladies, but the bride's rules trump rock, paper, and scissors. That's Chan."

“That’s Chan? Well, shit.” Ji-won pauses. “Okay. Dibs on Jisung!” 

“Wait a minute!”

Ignoring the horny squabbling going on beside you, you discreetly ogle Chan over the rim of your cocktail. Changbin really needs to update his insta, because you were not prepared for Chan’s blond hair. Or the lip ring. Or, fuck, you nearly choke on your old fashioned as Chan laughs and something silvery inside his open mouth catches your eye. Is that a tongue ring too?!

This man could not be more your type. Absolute catnip, and your kitty is eager for a taste.

Whoa now. Deep breaths. You can do this. You have to do this, because otherwise you’ll let your cousin down. You can practically hear her disapproving tone right now. 

“Don’t even think about it.” 

With a startled jump, you realize Sun Hee is standing next to you. 

“Think about what?” you inquire, stirring your drink super casually. Like the most casually anyone’s ever stirred anything. Unbothered little rotations. 

Sun Hee is not easily dissuaded. “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I mean.” 

“I promise you, I’m not thinking anything.” If only that were true. You’d give anything to be head empty no thoughts right now. 

“I really wish I believed that,” Sun Hee sighs. “We both know you have a problem with… self-control.” 

You open your mouth to argue, but she merely points to the glass in your hand, and you quickly snap it shut. You’ve only been at the party for maybe half an hour, and this is your second drink.

Sun Hee’s not wrong. It’s well known to all your friends that you have a tendency to eagerly embrace all the delights life has to offer. Maybe “eagerly” isn’t the right word. “Greedily” might be more accurate. Often, unfortunately, to your detriment. But how can you resist, when the universe is constantly throwing so many pleasures your way - especially when they come in such gorgeous packages as Chan?

“Yeah, okay, maybe sometimes I indulge myself a little, but I told you I wouldn’t sleep with him, so relax, okay? I’m not going to do anything to ruin your big day. I promise you!” 

Sun Hee squints as she examines your face. Whatever she sees makes her smile, shoulders dropping in relief. “Thank you. Now let’s get this party started!” 

As she and Changbin greet their guests, you take another long look at Chan. He turns suddenly, catching your eye. Your breathing nearly stops when his gaze sweeps over you from head to toe. Then he smirks, tongue ring flashing as he licks his lips. 

Fuck. Okay. You can do this. You just need to exert a little willpower. Reign in those bad instincts of yours. Should be a piece of cake. 

Right?

Somehow, the god of parties is on your side. Maybe it’s the drink you spill as you look for a spot to sit for dinner that pleases them - your tipsy faux pas is accepted as an offering. Whatever the reason, you manage to dodge Chan all evening. 

He does offer you the seat next to him at dinner, but Ji-won waves you over to her table, so you refuse him with a polite shake of your head. Ji-won quickly engages you in assisting her with talking to Jisung, but all you end up saying is “Hey Jisung, haaave you met Ji-won?” before Ji-won takes over. Gal’s a talker, which is good, because Jisung’s a bit on the quiet side. Or maybe he just can’t find a place to jump into the conversation, since Ji-won doesn’t appear to need to breathe in order to speak. 

After dinner comes more cocktails and gifts. While the maid of honor hands out gifts for Sun Hee and Changbin to open, you ignore Chan’s smile in favor of writing a list of who brought what, to help your cousin with her thank you notes later. Your Halmeoni would be so proud. 

By the time the festivities wind down, you feel you’ve dodged a bullet. As everyone says their goodbyes, you linger behind, helping your cousin and Changbin carry their ridiculous haul of presents into their car. The trunk is stuffed full as you attempt to shove one more box onto the pile, only for an avalanche of ribbons and envelopes to send it clattering to the ground. 

“Here, let me,” a pleasant voice hums in your ear as your fingers extend, reaching for the box, only for it to be swept up by another hand. And, of course, that hand is connected to the man you’ve been carefully avoiding all night. Guess the party gods have abandoned you.

“Thank you,” you reply politely, studiously avoiding his eyes as Chan beams at you. Jesus, he could literally light up a room with that megawatt smile. 

“No worries.” He helps to push some of the packages back, preventing another deluge. “I’m Chan, by the way. I didn’t get a chance to introduce m’self earlier.” 

You grant him a quick smile as you state your name, then glance over his shoulder, looking for backup - someone you can excuse yourself to catch up to, pretend they’re your ride home. But of course, everyone else is gone now, and your cousin and Changbin are back inside the restaurant, settling the bill. 

“Am I holding you up from something?” 

“Hmm?” You finally let yourself meet his gaze. It’s like you’ve been hit with the full force of the sun. Chan’s smile intensifies, eyes crinkling as he laughs lightly, and it’s too late, you can already feel yourself melting. 

“You look like you’re looking for something. Or someone?” 

“Oh. No, sorry, I was just making sure I hadn’t dropped anything on the way to the car,” you lie, clearing your throat awkwardly. 

Chan nods, sliding his hands into his pockets as he leans against the car. “So… you’re Sun Hee’s cousin, right?”

You nod. 

“She told me that you live here too,” he says. “It’s been years since I’ve been in town. I was thinking - since I’m gonna be here a few times between now and the wedding, I should find someone who can show me around a bit. Let me know what’s good.” He rolls his tongue over his lip ring. “Think you could help me out?”

Every time he drags his eyes down your body, you have to suppress a shiver of anticipation. He’s being incredibly obvious about what he means by showing him what’s good. 

“I - “ can’t think of a valid excuse because you’re too busy picturing what he can do with that tongue ring. “I don’t know how much free time I’ll have, with everything Sun Hee needs me to do for the wedding. She’s gonna be so busy. So, um, I don’t think I can. Help you.” Not your smoothest response, but not the worst, either.

Chan’s eyebrow rises slightly. He looks away, nodding. “Right, of course. Can’t let your cousin down, can ya? So…” He pushes himself off the car, taking a step towards you. “What about tonight then? Any plans?” 

Not a single one. An alarm goes off in your head as he takes another step closer. “Tonight?” 

“Yeah. Maybe we could go somewhere and talk? I know I could just ask ‘Bin for suggestions, but…” he shrugs. “He’s pretty busy too. And honestly? He’s gotten all mellow on me. Too boring and settled-down, y’know?” 

You laugh at his bluntness. “Binnie’s always been this way, as long as I’ve known him. You’re telling me he used to be different?” 

“Oh, you have no idea,” he hums, winking. “The stories I could tell… why don’t you let me buy you a drink, and maybe I’ll share a few?”

It’s very tempting, especially the thought of hearing some (hopefully) embarrassing tales about Changbin. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? One drink wouldn’t be too much, even given how much you’ve already had this evening. You’ll give him some suggestions of places to check out while he’s in town, he’ll divulge some of Binnie’s college shenanigans, and then you’ll say you’re tired and bounce. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

And then suddenly it’s two hours and several drinks later, and you’re nowhere near home. 

You had originally suggested going to a favorite spot, a bar owned by a friend where you could drink for cheap (and also potentially have someone who could bail you out if things with Chan got a little hot and heavy), but upon arriving had found it closed for repairs of some sort. Chan’s hotel just happened to be a block away and it just happened to have a really nice bar, so you thought, why not?

Why not, indeed, you’re thinking to yourself, playing with the melting ice in your empty glass. Why not sit side-by-side in the booth, so you can hear each other better? You really didn’t want to miss a single word he said. Why not let Chan drape his arm around your shoulders, since the bar has the air conditioning set to arctic blast and your sundress is not nearly as warm as its namesake? 

Chan has been nothing but a polite gentleman since you sat down, keeping you laughing with all of his deliciously embarrassing tales, to the point that your worries about crossing the line so firmly set by Sun Hee fade from your mind. 

“And after that, we were banned from ever visiting Ikea again,” Chan finishes, a crooked grin crossing his face as he waits for you to stop laughing.

You wipe a tear from the corner of your eye. “I cannot believe Binnie did that! That is… just the greatest story I’ve ever heard,” you inform him. “Thank you so, so much for sharing that.” 

Chan nods, leaning back against the vinyl of the booth seat. “Now, you’re not gonna run off and snitch to Changbin, are you? Tell him I’ve divulged all his dirty secrets?” 

You press your hand to your chest, looking scandalized. “Absolutely not! I would never. Everything you’ve told me stays with me.” You pause. “Until I need it.” 

“Fair.” His grin returns, cheekier than ever. “If you’re gonna use it for blackmail, I will be expecting a cut. Just to warn ya.” 

A server stops by your table to grab your empty glasses and drop off the check. It feels like the perfect opportunity to bring the night to a close - thank Chan for the drinks, since he didn’t even attempt to argue with you about paying, simply dropped his card on the tray, thank him for the gossip, and bid him a good evening. 

But no. You’re you, and so instead of saying “Thank you” or “Good night,” you say,

“I think we could come to an arrangement.” 

Chan tilts his head, eyes roaming from your smiling lips down to your goose-dimpled thighs and back, and you realize you may have miscalculated a bit. Because the sweet expression on his face has vanished, replaced by a look of hunger so ravenous, your pulse quickens - the primal reaction of prey realizing it’s exactly where a hunter wants it. 

“Could we now?” He shifts slightly, the arm around your shoulders falling between you as he signs the receipt. He taps the pen on the table. “I like the sound of that.” 

You do too, which is why there are klaxons suddenly blaring in your head. You should really leave. Instead of sliding further into the corner of the booth as Chan casually leans forward, blocking your view of the rest of the bar. 

That’s when the hand that was at Chan’s side creeps its way onto your exposed thigh. 

“I…” you trail off, totally engrossed by his fingers as they roam, unable to tear your eyes away. They’re more callused than you’d expected, roughened tips catching slightly on your soft skin in an enticing manner. “I do too.” 

He’s just a whisper away now, deep brown eyes fixed on your mouth as he smiles, a warm thing that sharpens as he says, “Maybe we should hammer out some terms? Y’know, just in case? We don’t have to talk here…” His hand slips ever so slightly down the inward curve of your thigh. “We can take this to my room. For privacy. Unless…” 

Sucking in a breath, you meet his eyes, and let your legs fall open just a bit. Chan huffs out a pleased laugh and his hand disappears beneath your skirt. 

The klaxons in your brain are completely silent now, but thankfully the bar is not. The jazzy music drifting down from the overhead speakers covers your tiny whimper when Chan skims his fingers along the newly formed damp patch in your underwear. 

“Mmm, someone seems to be into the idea of being touched in public. Are you into that, love?” 

As a matter of fact, you are, and it’s one of the many vices that’s gotten you in trouble in the past. You just can’t help yourself. Just like right now, even knowing you should walk away, that you might make a mess of things, you’re unable to stop. 

You don’t want to stop, so you nod. 

He arranges himself so he’s propped his head up on his elbow on the table. To anyone looking at your table, it just looks like the two of you are absorbed in deep conversation, huddled close, but not close enough to cause anyone’s eye to linger. 

Or so you hope, biting your lip to stifle a whine when Chan’s fingers push your panties aside.

“Good. Cause I am, too.” And then he’s pressed his finger inside you, groaning quietly at how easily it glides through your folds. His tongue plays with the small hoop nestled in the center of his plush bottom lip. “Oh, shit, you really like this. So fucking wet, dirty girl.”

There’s no reason to argue with him. If it wasn’t clear by the ridiculous amount of slick between your legs, it’s clear by the way you cant your hips forward, trying to urge him to slip his whole middle finger in too as he teases you with the tip. With a throaty chuckle, he obliges. 

“There you go. Is that what you needed?” 

“Mmm,” you hum, muffling your moan with pursed lips. He strokes inside you languidly, enjoying the choked breaths that punch their way out of your throat, before adding another finger. 

You bow your head slightly, trying to hide behind Chan, who leans forward with a smirk, close enough for his lips to brush your cheek. If you turned your face a little, you could kiss him right now, but you’re too focused on the way he’s playing your pussy like one of his soundboards, tweaking and fondling just right, to do anything but try to breathe. 

“Can I tell you something?” he whispers. 

“A-anything.” 

“I had my eye on you all during the party. Kept trying to get your attention, wanted to convince you to go home with me tonight. ‘M glad it worked out.” 

“Who, hnngh, who said I’m going home with you?” you manage to spit out around your groans. 

Chan’s fingers still. “Wait, you don’t wanna come back to my room?” 

“I didn’t say that.” The look he gives you makes you feel dangerous, having such an irresistible man hanging on your every word. It’s such an intoxicating power. “I just meant I’m not convinced y-yet, fuck.” 

You stutter as Chan starts tracing your inner walls, caressing your g-spot hard enough to make you curse. He’s accepted the gauntlet you’ve thrown down with surprising speed, and you suck on the insides of your cheeks, biting gently into your own mouth to keep from shouting out loud.

“Something you should know about me, love - ‘m a bit competitive. I don’t back down from challenges.” 

Chan’s fingers plunge faster and faster, alternating thrusts with strokes. The more his speed increases, the more his arm flexes, biceps rippling under his tight t-shirt. If the bartender were to just glance over, he’d see the way your head is tipped back in ecstasy, and there’s no denying the pleasure flitting across your face. You could be caught so easily.

“Look at you, taking it so well. Bet you’d look so good taking my cock.”

Your eyes fall to the obvious bulge in Chan’s lap. You just know he’d feel so good. Why didn’t you take this to his room? You could be riding him right now. 

Oh well, you’ll just have to let him keep fingering you until you cum all over his hand in the middle of this bar. 

You’re getting close now, but his plunging fingers aren’t quite enough to give you what you so desperately desire. Unashamed to beg for what you want, you gasp out, “More,” hands balling into fists as tight as the knot inside you. 

Chan smirks. His thumb finds your clit. You find the edge. And fall right over. 

“Shiiiiit,” you groan, thighs twitching together, muscles contracting to trap Chan’s hand as an orgasm overtakes you, shockingly fast. So he doesn’t back down from challenges and he’s an overachiever. 

“There you go, love,” he coos. Your abdomen shakes from the force of your climax. He slowly circles your oversensitive nub until he finally stops, and one final shudder passes through you. “Made such a mess for me.” 

Your only response is a string of curse words that would send Halmeoni right to her grave. Chan laughs, bringing his hand to his mouth, and you swear again as he thoroughly cleans his fingers with his tongue, rolling the little stud over and around.

“Have I convinced you now?” he asks, eyes gleaming, tone smug. So, so smug. It’s almost shameful how hot you find that. 

You’re definitely convinced of his skills. And if you go back to his room with him, there’s no telling what other talents he might share. 

Then again… if he works this hard to impress you now….

With a polite smile, you gently pat his arm, silently asking him to give you some space to shimmy your panties back into place. His eyebrow lifts as he waits for your answer.

“Not really.” 

Based on his dazed expression, it’s pretty evident that Chan has never gotten anything less than a rave response to his skills. How absolutely delightful. Your shoulders shake with suppressed laughter as he blinks at you. 

“Thank you for the drinks. But I should really get going, got a ton of stuff to do with Sun Hee in the morning.” Not a total lie, since you do have plans for brunch with your cousin and the other bridesmaids. But brunch never usually stops you from anything. 

“Come on, love - you really want to leave now?” He’s recovered from his shock, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. “The night’s just getting started. That was just a small taste of what could happen.” He leans in, lips just brushing your ear as he murmurs, “Don’t you want more?”

Chan’s a fighter. Good to know.

“Mmm, maybe. But not tonight.”

He pulls back, searching your gaze. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” You laugh, nudging him with your knee. Chan slowly rises to his feet, shuffling aside to let you out of the booth. The stupefied look is back. Baffled hunter realizing his trap didn’t spring. 

“Well… if you change your mind, you know where I am. Room 143.” 

He rubs the back of his neck as he speaks, and there’s something kind of sweet about it, like he’s a little unsure of himself, possibly for the first time in his life, so you place your hands lightly on his chest. Damn, he’s so solid. He could definitely rail you through the wall of this bar, if you so asked. 

But not tonight. 

“Sweet dreams, Chan.” Your words warms his lips as you cross the space between you. Even though his hands grip your hips, even though his tongue tastes like scotch, even though the moan he exhales sends shivers from your head to your toes, you break away, and head for the door. 

As you sit in the lobby, waiting for your ride, it’s impossible not to pat yourself on the back, gloating over your victory. You kept your promise to your cousin and got to tease an incredibly hot man into giving you an orgasm at the same time. But what strikes you the most was the wild glint you saw in Chan’s eye as you walked away. 

This is going to be so much fun. 

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2023 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost. I do not allow translations of my works.

[54625]

QSMP fic where Dia de los Muertos rolls around but all the dead island members are there in ghost form as well as the dead eggs.

Roier has to confront the first real undisputable proof he's received that Jaiden is truly gone, but at least as a consolation the family gets to be back together again for a night, and Bobby gets to be with both of his parents, just like the good old days. Dan, Maxo and Trump are all there together and get to meet or reunite with everyone, and explain how after they found each other in a better place, they got a second chance to try and be a family again. Spreen and Pac get into a fistfight.

[eeveebitches]

movie. || Roman Roy || smut

Pairing: Sub!Roman Roy x F!Reader

Summary: Roman wants you to stop watching a movie and pay attention to him, so he goes about it the best way he can think of.

Word count: 1.812

18+ only! More under the cut

Warning(s): SMUT, aka 18+ only! Sub Roman, oral sex (f receiving) praise kink, coming untouched/in pants

A/n: based on a request i got!! tysm for the inspo :)) my requests are also still open!

_______________________

You're watching a movie when he comes in.

Grin wide, eyes tired and hair messed up beyond relief. He jingles the spare keys you gave him in the air, spotting you on the couch. "Got in with our key," he says matter-of-factly as he throws his shoes off, walking over to you.

Ever since you gave Roman a spare key to your home, he's been visiting you with no warning. It's not the fact that he was growing co-dependent on your time that piqued your interest, though. It's always been how he refers to the key.

He used to just say 'the spare key', clearly tense as he struggled to find comfort in his intrusion. Then it became 'your key', which he said with the tiniest smile. When he started calling it 'my key' you would fight back a grin. He was clearly indulging himself with this.

What the implication of this new 'our key' situation is, you have no idea. Better to keep it unspoken, like you two usually do.

"What're you doing?" You only look away from the screen for a second to watch him walk over to you, before returning your attention to the screen. "Watching a movie," you tell him rather dryly. He lets out a huff, plopping himself next to you on the couch. "Well, I'm here now, so screw your movie." 

His hand shoots to snatch the TV remote away from you, but before he can do so, you yank it away. "The movie is almost done, just watch it with me or something," you mumble out, transfixed on the riveting plot in front of you.

"So what, your shitty B-roll movie trumps quality time with the number one bachelor of America?" You don't even respond this time, you simply keep your eyes on the movie. Roman groans, head dramatically falling back as he stares up into the ceiling. "What am I even supposed to do while you melt your brain with numbing media consumption?"

Again, no reply. Just a meager shrug. 

Roman, at first, wants to glare at you. Maybe smack your arm, then go to your kitchen and purposefully make a shit ton of noise, so you're forced to stand up and pay attention to him. But as he stares at you, he can't help but notice a small amount of red lace peaking from under your sweatpants.

Then a much better idea to get your attention pops up.

Wordlessly, he removes himself from the couch and instead kneels down in front of you, hands awkwardly resting on your thighs as he stares up at you. "Uhh, what're you doing, Romes?"

"G'na eat you out," he plainly tells you, lips twitching up into a smirk. "Roman, have you ever given anyone head?"

He shrugs, hands slowly pulling your sweatpants down. You do wanna finish this movie, but you're also curious to see where this goes, so you help him by slightly lifting yourself up, so he can properly remove them. "No, but I'm like Leonardo Davinci, naturally talented and amazingly hot. I can do this easily," he states with confidence that is clearly a facade.

Roman's pupils are dilated as he stares at your lacy red panties. His hands shake as he pushes your legs apart, giving him better access. You hum with intrigue, giving his hair a quick pet before yet again focusing yourself on the movie. "Whatever you say, Davinci."

You weren't expecting him to start out with a kiss atop of your underwear. It's awkward, yet sweet, which you reward with another stroke of his hair. The air is tense as he slowly moves your panties to the side, and ever-so-slowly, he dips in.

With a sharpened tongue he experimentally licks the inside of your folds. You shiver at the sensation, keeping your hand casually rested on his head. For a moment there's nothing, before Roman's head turns up to look at you.

You flush at the sight of him looking up from you like that, eyes wide and unknowing as he's kneeling in between your thighs. His obedience is like second nature to him, and in moments like these you revel in it.

"Can you, like, give me a tiny hint on what to do? Or else I'm just gonna bite your clit off," he huffs, face already reddened.

"Try flattening your tongue a bit, for one. Just take your time, Romes."

And that he does.

Carefully, he laps at your folds. Places his hands back on your thighs, keeping them open as his eyes flutter shut. Just as suddenly as he got on his knees for you, he places his entire mouth on you, roughly sucking on your cunt. You gasp at the sensation, hand clutching at his hair as he suctions onto you.

The groan he lets out as he tastes you is guttural, like he was a man starved and you were his last supper. As he removes himself from you with a sinful 'pop', he lets out an airy laugh. "Jesus, this is, uh... fuck," he whispers out before delving right back in, madly licking and sucking wherever he can reach.

He can't stop himself from letting one of his hands drop from your thighs, using it to palm at his growing hardness. "Shit Romes, you're doing good," you groan, struggling to pay attention to the movie when Roman's tongue is a single movement away from circling your clit.

"Only f'r you," he desperately gasps out, only taking a second to get air back before focusing his full attention on the small bundle of nerves he's finally located. He isn't as hesitant as you would've thought he'd be-- he wastes no time roughly sucking on your clit, shamelessly moaning as he feels you twitch and writhe from his touch.

"Fuck, you're doing so good baby, keep doing that." You grab a handful of his hair and forcefully pull him closer. He moans pathetically at the movement, at the way he's suffocating in your juices. 

The wet noises he's making are absolutely sinful, and if it wasn't for his relentless mouth you would've joked about his eating manners. His mouth and nose are shiny with your wetness, and he pays it no mind, drilling his tongue inside of you without a care in the world. "W'na please you," he moans against you, his own hips stuttering as he stops palming himself, cock painfully restrained in his dress pants.

"You're such a good boy for me, Roman, you're doing so fucking good." His eyes screw shut as he groans against your clit, the vibrations leaving you to gasp for air. It's all just too much, the pleasure combined with the desperate noises he's letting out sending you into cloud nine.

He whines at your every noise and your every word. It's like his heart is going to burst out of his chest, and when you yank at his hair he can't hold himself back. With a muffled groan he releases his load, only slightly faltering in his pace before continuing to practically torture your pussy.

"My sweet pup, eating me out so well, so proud of you," you moan with a fistful of his hair in your hand, only half-aware of Roman's own predicament. Your words of praise alone are overstimulating, but he can't stop himself from lapping up your juices.

He pulls away for a moment, gasping for air as he looks at you, face glistening.  "You're so fucking wet, I just w'na live here," he groans out, before roughly sucking on your clit.

You don't know if it's the hungry moans he keeps letting out or the blinding pleasure he's giving you that pushes you over the edge. Thousands of blinding white stars cover your vision as your entire body stiffens, a gargled moan escaping your throat as you push Roman's entire face into you one last time. 

He moans against your slick cunt, weakly lapping at you as you slowly come down. Even when you whine at the overstimulation of it all, he keeps at it, tongue busying itself with cleaning you up. For a moment you think you can even hear him gulp, whining as you try to pry him off of you.

Reluctantly, he pulls away, carrying a serene expression. With lidded eyes he looks up at you, and the question he asks almost makes you cum again on the spot.

"Did I do good for you?"

You let out an airy chuckle. "Yeah, you did."

Roman groans as he stands up, and only now you see the dark stain at the front of his pants. "Oh my god, did you?--"

"Shut up, yes." You giggle as he awkwardly stands up to place a small kiss on your lips. Your hand shoots to grab the back of his neck, deepening the kiss, and you hum as you taste yourself on his tongue. He moans into your mouth, a sound you happily swallow before pulling away. "You did very good, Roman. Didn't realize you're a total perv for giving oral," you hum out as he waddles yo your bathroom. 

"And I didn't realize you were a total slut for it," he retorts, keeping the bathroom door open as you hear him shuffling out of his pants. "Where's my shit?" 

You pull your panties up, but simply remove your sweatpants, before walking over to your bedroom and quickly fishing out a fresh pair of pants, a shirt and some boxers for him. The amount of times he's made someone drop off fresh clothes for him to your apartment has caused an influx of items for him to wear when he's with you.

With a light grin you walk towards the bathroom, handing Roman his things as you sit on the closed toilet seat. "I'm happy you were able to enjoy yourself, too."

Roman shrugs. "Yeah, I mean, I ruined my fucking pants, but it was also fucking hot." 

"You win some, you lose some," you hum as you watch him remove his blouse and replace it with the shirt. "You should definitely let me do that again, by the way. Just-- ask whenever you want a real man to make you cum," he mumbles out, avoiding the eye contact you're trying to make with the mirror he's in front of. 

"You're just saying that because you're a total pussy-loving freak, aren't you?" He groans at your words as he finishes dressing himself, walking out of the bathroom with you in tow. You chuckle at the TV-- the credits are rolling. "Can you please not say kinky shit to me, my dick is in recovery mode right now, thanks."

The two of you plop onto the couch, legs tangling as you grab the remote and put on a show the two of you usually watch together. "Seriously though," Roman suddenly pipes up,

"you taste really good."

[diagnosedpsychosis]

FALLING ASLEEP AT WORK

I just wanted to thank every one for the love I'm receiving for my other little imagines, and to let you all know that if you have anything you want me to write (character or prompt, or both) just let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Description: You had a crappy morning and are clearly struggling to stay awake. Aaron offers the two seater couch in his office to you.

Word Count: 2.7k

______________________________________________________________

You absolutely hated wearing your glasses. You despised them to no end, and in a perfect world they'd never of been created. You hated wearing them. The way they dug into the bridge of your nose. The fact they'd slip every 30 or so seconds so you'd have to readjust them. How if you pushed them up, the second you'd try to take them off they'd tangle in your hair and create a small knot you couldn't detangle until later that night. The way that the lens was so powerful that whilst it gave you perfect vision, it also elicited a powerful headache.

You loved how they looked, but far out did you hate how they felt.

Today wasn't a good day for you, in fact you couldn't even remember your last good day, but today trumped all your other bad ones. You'd woken up to the night-time construction work happening on your street at 3 in the morning. When you finally managed to get back to sleep an hour and a half later, it turns out some of the tradesmen out front had accidentally hit a water pipe and it blew up out of the ground and into the air. So not only were you now awake at 4:30 am, but you were also getting drenched as everyone in your building was evacuated out, instead of staying inside, away from the burst.

Everything had been cleared rather quickly and soon enough everyone was filing back into the building at 5 in the morning. You had an hour and a half until you had to get up and get ready for work, but this mornings events left you wide awake and unable to sleep despite how desperately you craved it.

So you decided to have an actual shower. You got undressed, took all your jewellery off, stepped under the shower head, pulled the tap and...no water came out. You spent five minutes trying everything in your power to get it working when the memories of this morning hit you and you realised the construction workers had hit the main water source.

You were frustrated, tired, naked and on the verge of tears not because you were actually upset, but because you were so overwhelmed. You had been so tired the night before and were so excited to sleep the night away, but the day had other plans for you and now you felt partially blind, struggling not to fall asleep standing up every time you blinked and your eyes lingered closed for a couple seconds longer than usual.

It was too late to get anymore sleep in before work, so wanting to at least fix one issue you walked back into your room, threw on a nightie and grabbed your contact lens case from your bed side. Walking back into your bathroom you opened the little container, your hand beside it on the sink as you bent to grab the saline solution from the cabinet, but as you went to stand back up your hand slipped and a second later you heard a plop sound come from the toilet.

You stood, frozen in time and just shut your eyes. Breathing in and out slowly you imagined all the things that could've possibly fallen in the toilet. You could just buy a new toothbrush if that's what fell in. A new roll of floss was only a couple bucks. You thought of everything that wasn't exactly what you knew it was, purely just cause you couldn't have a worse morning.

But then you opened your eyes, found your open eye contact container floating upside down in the toilet and stormed back into your room to scream into your pillow that held mascara stains.

That was how you found yourself walking into the Quantico building, with the old black framed glasses you'd stopped wearing a year or so ago perched on the bridge of your nose.

"Hey gorgeo- Whoa" Derek's hands flew straight up in the air in defence, cutting himself off mid greeting as your exhausted eyes snapped to him. You didn't look scary whoa, or ugly whoa, you looked 'I haven't slept in years and my slightly red eyes are begging you to knock me out so I can sleep for an eternity' whoa.

"Morning" You grumbled, unable to even offer Derek a grateful smile as he slowly passes you the same coffee he brings in for you every morning. You two stop at the elevator, your tired eyes staring at the metal doors, and Derek's watching and worrying about you as you slightly sway back and forth.

"You look rough. Bad night?" Rough? Bad night? You felt like hell and that was underexaggerating it.

"Stupid construction woke me up, hit a main water pipe, evacuated my apartment building, left me showerless and then stupid me knocked my contact lenses into the toilet" Derek sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, reaching out and rubbing your back for you, trying to relieve some tension. You arched away from him, and caught his frown in the elevator door, offended you flinched away from his touch.

"If you keep rubbing my back I'll fall asleep on the spot" You mumbled, barely having the energy to even speak.

"You're not going to be productive if you're fighting to keep yourself from falling asleep all day. Just go home" Derek hoped he didn't sound rude and dismissive, and thankfully relief flooded his body as you looked up and offered him a lazy smile.

"I love how concerned you are about me, but I can't go home."

"Why not?" Derek asked, frowning. It was either just go home now or get up to the sixth floor, struggle and then have Hotch tell you to take the rest of the day off, neither of which you wanted. You loved your job, you wanted to be there more than anything, but...maybe a power nap isn't such a bad idea.

"Cause then I'll be letting the team down" Derek laughed, the elevator doors opening as he slung his arm over your shoulders and practically dragged you out.

"No you won't. You look like hell, every one will understand" You squinted your eyes up at Derek as you glared at him.

"So much for calling me gorgeous" You grumbled, Derek pushing on the bullpen door and shoving you in first before following after. He used his arm around your neck to pull your head toward him, before planting a kiss to your cheek.

"Y/n, you're absolutely breath taking, but you also look like hell" You huffed, glaring at Derek before pulling his arm off of you and taking a seat at your desk. You had barely been sitting for 5 seconds before Emily stopped in front of your desk.

"I haven't seen those frames in ages. What's it been, a year?" She asked, her loud voice gaining Spencer and JJ's attention, the latter standing to join Emily at your desk.

"I hate 'em" You grumbled, glancing up at the two girls before looking back down at your desk. Emily and JJ frowned, glancing at each other, wondering what was wrong, but all questions were answered as Derek swung around in his desk chair grinning.

"She flushed her contacts down the toilet" You sucked in a deep breath, side eyeing the direction Derek's voice came from before unpacking your bag, pulling case file after case file out, and neatly stacking them on your desk.

"Usually the nerdy teen in a high school rom com takes off her glasses and puts contacts in, but here you are, choosing not to conform. Good for you" Emily teased as you looked up at her, ignoring JJ and Derek's snickers.

"I love you Em, but I'm moody and running on about 2 and a half hours of sleep" Her mouth formed an 'o' shape as she held her hands up in defence and backed away slowly.

"Drift, caught" She said before turning and heading back to her desk. You sighed to yourself, turning back to face your desk properly. You noticed in the corner of your eye Spencer leaning forward in his seat.

"Are you alright, y/n?" You looked up and toward Spencer, offering him a tiny, appreciative smile as you slowly nodded your head.

"I'm alright, thank you Spence. Just a lot of night time construction going on lately. It's keeping me up" Spencer nodded his head once before sitting back in his seat and looking down at the case file open in front of him. Slowly, you sunk back into work, despite the overwhelming exhaustion consuming you. Spencer's silence lasted seconds.

"I know I live a little further out of the city-" Spencer began, sitting forward again and easily gaining your attention, "but if it gets really bad you can always stay on my fold out couch."

You couldn't fight the smile on your face as you stared at the genuinely caring and compassionate kid in front of you. Spencer had always felt like a baby brother to you, but he had the protectiveness of an older brother.

"I might just have to take you up on that offer" Spencer smiles before getting back to work and losing himself in his own mind instantly. You look away from him before half swinging around in your chair and looking in Derek's direction. Derek feels your eyes on him and looks up, frowning as you point at Spencer, mouthing 'real friend'. He rolls his eyes, a playful smile on his face as he shakes his head and gets back to work.

For at least 3 hours you manage to keep yourself awake. Cup of coffee after cup of coffee, after energy drink, after standing in front of the freezer in the kitchen, make you think you've finally got used to being awake. But then people start leaving at around 11:30, starting lunch breaks and you start getting tired again purely at the thought of eating and doing nothing.

Hotch glances out his window, looking into the bullpen when his eyes catch you frowning at your desk. From where he is it looks like you're stuck on whatever you're working on, when in reality you'd blinked but were yet to open your eyes. Noticing most of the others aren't in the bullpen to help, he stands up and makes his way out of his office.

"Y/n?" He calls from the top of the stairs, his usual frown deepening as you don't answer. He notices you don't have headphones on and wonders if maybe you're just lost in your head, too focused to even hear him. But then he walks down the steps, getting closer, and notices the slow rise and fall of your chest.

Hotch had heard about your morning, after all, it was hard to not hear the booming voices of your team as they all spoke too loud for such an early hour in the morning. So when he stepped even closer, and noticed the faint exhale every time your chest fell, he wasn't surprised to realise you were asleep.

Despite the fact you were at work where you were supposed to be busy 24/7, Hotch wanted you to sleep. He had every intention to slowly back away and return back to his office, but you looked so uncomfortable. Your head was almost completely tilted down, chin on your chest as your shoulders hunched over. You would be beyond sore when you woke up, and Hotch didn't want that for you either. So slowly he stepped closer before crouching down in front of you.

"Y/n?" He spoke softly, placing one large hand on your knee, and the other on the chairs arm rest. You stirred but didn't wake up, instead letting out a heavy exhale as you further sunk into the seat. Hotch patted your knee with a little bit more force, using his hand on the arm rest to lightly shake the spinning seat.

Slowly, you opened your eyes, the same frown you'd worn all day glued to your face as you looked up before back down, your eyes widening when you realised who was crouched down at your knees. You immediately sat up straighter, and a little more awake as you cleared your throat, immediately starting to apologise.

"Oh god, Hotch. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" He quickly cut off your rambling with one single amused raised eyebrow. You sputtered on your words, tilting your head slightly in confusion as you stared at the slight smile playing on his lips.

"You're going to give yourself a hunch back if you continue to sleep sitting up" Your hardened expression slowly softened, a light laugh passing by your lips as you raised your hands to rub your eyes.

"I know, I'm sorry. I was doing so good" You scolded yourself, disappointed you'd fallen asleep and your boss was the one to find you, out of everyone.

"For someone running on two and a half hours of sleep, you've done good" You sighed, keeping your hands to your eyes to block out the light.

"You heard about that?" You ask, spreading your index and middle fingers apart to peak out at Hotch. He nodded, his smile still small and soft as he stared up from you, not having yet moved from below you.

"Voices travel" Hotch replied.

"Sorry" You mumbled apologetically, eyes following Hotch as he used your knee to push himself up, going back to his naturally towering height.

"Make it up to me by moving to the couch in my office?" He asked, using his foot to spin you and your chair out from under your desk. You snorted, leaning back in your seat and crossing your arms over your chest.

"Sounds more like a win for me" You stated, Aaron shrugging as he stuffed his hands in his pant pockets, his gaze unwavering, locked on you.

"You get to sleep, I get my smart, refreshed agent back. It's a win win" You absolutely loved the sound of a nice couch nap, and in Hotch's office of all places.

"Really?" You asked, Hotch slowly blinking before nodding and offering you a smile.

"Mhmm" With a dramatic huff, you stood like you were being forced to do what he said, when really you could kiss him for the suggestion.

"Well... only cause you won't shut up. I've never met a man that begs so much" You pushed your chair in, following Hotch up to his office.

"I don't know if that's what I'd call begging-"

"It is" You quickly cut him off, your grin widening as he glanced back at you over his shoulder, with his smile still present. You stepped inside his office, immediately making a b-line for the couch under the window that lead outside.

"You can close the blind if you want" Hotch pointed at the open blind behind you as he closed the door to his office, grabbing a coat off the back before making his way toward you.

"It's not going to make it harder to see for you?" You asked, wanting to make sure he was 100% okay with it. He snorted, stopping in front of you and holding the coat out, waiting for you to take it.

"I think I'll live, y/n" You took the coat with an appreciative smile, watching him turn around and walk behind his desk, before you closed the blind. You put your arms through the coats sleeves, the back of it against your chest like a blanket. You went to lay down but quickly looked to Hotch.

"You're sure this is fine with-"

"Yes....the company is nice" Hotch replied softly, now sat behind his desk, flicking through a case file. The corners of your mouth slowly spread into a genuine smile.

"Even mine?" You asked, watching Hotch as he looked up and away from his work, his eyes latching onto yours.

"Especially yours" You bit back a tired grin, turning away from Hotch to hide the blush quickly rising to your cheeks. You laid down, bringing your knees to your chest as you snuggled into the large coat Hotch had grabbed off the back of his door for you. You felt your eyes grow heavy, but just before you let sleep overcome you, Hotch spoke again.

"Just don't snore" You laughed, shaking your head lightly.

"No promises."

[chrollohearttags]

truly hoping that everyone witnessing what’s going on and more so specifically what our president is doing right now and taking that into accountability when election time rolls around. Calling for that senile bastard to be held liable not only for the full funding and support of genocide/ethnic cleansing but the countless of other horrible deeds he’s committed since being in office is not being “pro trump” or republican. People are fucking tired and this inhumane treatment of the Palestinian people was more or less the breaking point. We watched how he and his entire campaign was centered around nothing more than engaging in a pissing contest with the blood orange. How every promise of monthly stimulus checks, erased student loans, wage raises, lower cost of living, etc ALL went down the drain the second he got sworn in. How our tax dollars were used to fund literal slaughter but people are sleeping in parking lots because they can’t afford housing. Healthcare is non existent, we can’t even afford to pay attention with minimum wage and we’re barely even able to fill our tanks or grocery baskets with our entire paychecks being thrown at it. As people keep saying, the propaganda is no longer working. Is*eal, Biden and every other sick entity in support of harming these people are being called out abs rightfully so. No one is subscribing to their bullshit ideologies anymore. No one is believing this rallying around the flag, blind patriotism, etc. call it desensitization or overexposure but we have real time access to information that refutes any of these influencer or corporate advertising. Continue to be tired, continue to be angry and continue to question everything because silence equals complicity and that’s exactly what they want.

[decolonize-the-left]

You are literally going to get people killed by pushing them to vote third party. People voting third party is why Trump won in 2016, which allowed him to stack the Supreme Court with conservative garbage which is going to negatively affect us for DECADES to come (already has, since it led to the repeal of Roe v. Wade which has LITERALLY killed people). I'm baffled, because you've done so much good work on this website (like I still go back and regularly reread your posts on whiteness etc because they're so informative), but advocating for voting third party going into one of the most important elections in recent memory is actively harmful.

Like have you heard of Project 2025? In case you haven't it's literally like a 1000 page manifesto for the Republican party to reshape the federal government to essentially let the President become a dictator. It also expressly mentions plans to roll back rights for women, the LGBT community, and pretty much any other minority you can think of. I know things are bad now - not arguing that at all - but if Republicans win next year, things will get EXPONENTIALLY WORSE.

You can sit there and yell about Democrats being "just as bad" until you're blue in the face, but it's literally not true. The Democratic Party itself is obviously just another problematic institution and there are definitely Dems who showed their entire asses with supporting Israel, but like... Progressive Democrats do exist and while they're obviously not perfect, it's absolutely a step in the right direction. Not to mention Republicans literally need to cheat by gerrymandering and attacking voting rights for minorities in order to even get elected in a lot of places, whereas Democrats tend to win when more people are registered and actually show up to vote. They are not the same, and the harm they do is not the same.

Again, I have a lot of respect for the work you do, especially with your recent posts on the Palestinian genocide. But I vehemently disagree with your stance on voting third party in this upcoming election. Ideally I would love if we could vote third party and actually have multiple options that more accurately represent us as a population, but our current system is a two party one and unfortunately we literally do have to vote for the lesser of two evils, because one option sucks but preserves what little democracy we have (and gives us a chance of making it better) and one will literally bring genocide against trans people. I would personally rather not see that happen.

How can you say this and mention the Palestinian genocide in the same ask.

Democrats are getting people killed. In fact they're committing one of The worst crime against humanity possible and then only thing you're worried about is that things might get worse for gay people if a Republicans wins.

I'm the biggest queer I know. I'm native. I'm brown. I'm almost definitely on a watch list. And listen to me and understand the depth of my words when I say: my people have been oppressed the way Project2025 outlines.

And maybe you personally cared or helped us protest that. But most people didn't. In fact I can't remember the last time the US supported native rights at all.

But now that YOURE under threat I'm supposed to risk my life because the queer community can't be bothered to stop discoursing about neopronouns long enough to actual give an shit about saving the community?

Y'all got a lot of damn nerve, let me tell you.

Go bark up some other tree cuz this is not the one.

Also I'm not pushing anyone to vote 3rd party. I'm laying out facts. Facts are a Gallup poll says 63% of people would vote 3rd party. Facts are my Tumblr poll says that number is STILL at least 45% on the hellsite.

And since people are interested in voting 3rd party they should know their options. The people who say "I would vote 3rd party but they don't have support" also deserve to see the articles that said 63% of people would join them.

They deserve to know that 3rd parties currently hold a not insignificant amount percentage of support from the two main parties. 20% of votes. When 33% is an even split are good odds. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry, blue Fascists, but this country is in fact still a democracy and just because you Want people to vote blue doesn't mean they have to and you feeling they're the best doesn't make you right!

Other people aren't "wrong" for not wanting your conservative Jurassic party in power anymore.

They can vote how they want.

And if you see a poll that says 63% of people would rather NOT vote for either major party and your first thought is not: wow 63% is enough to elect someone we want, I'll support that.

And instead you go: how can I force them to vote for my party instead.

Then please understand it is not THEM splitting the vote. Biden will get MAYBE 40% votes. You gonna force 63% of the country to vote for someone they don't even want?

There's a name for that yeah?

How'd it work out in 2016 when y'all "forced" us to vote for Hillary by putting her on the ballot? She lost and she wasn't even actively commiting a genocide.

But you think Biden will not only earn votes from that 63% but he'll also win the election. Against trump. Which less blatantly shitty democrats have struggled to contend with?

Democrats are legitimately delusional.

Your problem is you see Democrats as being better than Republicans. While the rest of us see less and less of a difference every year. And you can only say you're "better" if you're different enough.

See this is what happens when you vote for the "lesser evil." Eventually that evil balances back out and you're left with the truth that your two main options are just evil.

Now the only people actually different enough to make that argument are third parties.

Coincidentally, that's what people are drawn to right now.

I know, go figure. It's almost like it makes sense to lose support when you consistently prop up shitty candidates nobody asked for every 4 years.

We do not have a two party system and you know that, that's why you sent this ask.

Cuz you're stressed dems might lose. Cuz you KNOW people have other options.

Good. Cuz they will lose if Biden is the democrat's nominee and Claudia de la Cruz stays in the race, which she will since she's running with PSL not democrats. So there's no competition. Her party is organized and chosen her and a VP already, she's guaranteed every one of their votes because her party works like a union does.

It's a wrap.

Biden can't use his "lesser evil" script with Claudia De La Cruz on the ballot actively challenging his genocide and imperialism.

Vote Claudia De La Cruz cuz you are a scooping water out of the Titanic trying to get 63% of Americans to think voting for a Genocidal warmonger is what's best for any of us, let alone the planet. And we didn't want him BEFORE he did any of this.

[upslapmeal]

Notes from the Taskmaster 16x10 recording

The last two episode recordings I went to, I meant to make comprehensive notes when I got home afterwards that I would be able to look back at and post when the episode aired. I did not, in fact, end up doing that. So this time I was determined to have lots of notes, and made them on the go in the breaks in recording. However. They were made in a rush and I never went back through them to pad them out (you'd really think I would have learned by now). So instead of just having to rely on my memory, I ended up with an almost coded list of words and phrases that it's taken me pretty much 2 weeks to sit down and decipher lol. So with that said:

the pre-episode Greg-Alex entertainment was Greg getting Alex to sing a song about a recent news story to the tune of a song suggested by the audience - in this case it was Trump's lawsuit (the one in May 2023 since there are...a few) to the tune of Wuthering Heights

Alex really went for the whole live thing, and was constantly referring to it throughout the episode

when the contestants came onstage, I obviously first saw Sam in his bright colours and blond hair

we were right on the back balcony and my first impression from that distance was that he kinda looked like Jamie Laing lol

Greg made a passing comment about how he's been dressing in grey but I was completely taken by surprise when the vt rolled and he looked completely different!

I had assumed he'd actually buzzed his hair and didn't realise it was a wig until the ep aired

Sue made comments throughout the episode about how Sam looked like Dahmer

Lucy's prize task story, unsurprisingly, went on for ages and included a whole story about the holiday they went on that I tragically cannot remember

I was so glad they didn't cut 'untaffled' because I looked through my notes before again before watching the episode and couldn't for the life of me remember what she'd said

Greg's said that his immediate response to naked Alex in the prize task was that he was 'smooth like an eel'

After Julian's prize task there was a discussion about how people wanted to be buried, and at one point (I wish I could remember the conversation leading up to this) either Greg or Alex said they would be buried 'together forever in the Victoria monument'

There was a whole long debate about whether Sam intended to use nature as part of his doughnut task, and whether the bird toppling Ms Doughnut to her death should be counted

Greg told Sam to 'convince me to give you 3 points'

Sam went on talking about how amazing nature is and how we're all connected and at one point said 'consider the statistics.....3000' (I'm 99% sure this is what he said and I didn't just forget the rest of the quote)

Julian's exercise name was absolutely not a one-off, to the point they started running a 'cunt count' for the episode

Sue talked about how she had recently had an ADHD diagnosis, and that she kept viewing tasks holistically rather than paying attention to the details. This was specifically in relation to the exercise where she just did the same thing 4 times

I'm not sure if we saw the full extended version of Hotel Taskmaster, but we definitely saw a cut that included more than the aired version (though tbh I think they do that for most tasks and I just noticed this one bc we got the extended version)

We got an 'I put it to you' from Greg that Alex-as-Qrs looked genuinely cool

Lucy described Alex as having 'tight metallic buns' which Greg later referred to as his 'robot arse'

I cannot stress how much of a breakdown Susan had in the studio about the forks and marbles - you get a glimpse in the episode but that was nothing!

Susan also took AGES to do her throw in the live task - she kept on being about to throw before being interrupted, or saying her arms were too short, or that she needed a wee, or having a fit of giggles, and the longer it went the worse it got lol

Greg and Alex also had a go at it, and Sue wanted another go without the pressure. Greg and Sue got the ball in but Alex didn't

Don't ask me to remember the context, but at one point during the record, Greg told a story about someone he knew (whose name he said he would tell the others backstage) who would have sex in a cow mask and would demand 'LOOK AT ME!!!'. Anyway that was referred back to a few times in the ep

When Sam was given the trophy he just stood near-motionless with it for what felt like ages before we got to the hugs and everything

And now we enter the magical world of ~what on earth was this note referring to~ where I just hope someone else who was there (@politicalprocrastinator how's your memory?) sees this and can fill me in on what I've forgotten:

At some point around the prize / first task I wrote 'correct dog guess'. Whose dog? What was being guessed? Absolutely no idea

At some point there was a joke about the 'former Prime Minister', I think the idea being that by the time the episode aired we'd inevitably have a new PM? but I honestly can't remember

Someone called someone else submissive in a way notable enough for me to have written 'submissive' as a one-word bullet point, but not notable enough for me to actually remember

And now three bullet points which I will present in their original form:

Birthday

Bum hole in back

Get in bath

[guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom]

More Often

Earth 42!Miles Morales x fem!reader 

Earth 42!Miles Morales x black!reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Mentions of water guns and mentions of jellyfish

Requested: yes 

@raeraypoca:That's perfect smanks! So basically all I would like is what happens on the road trip over there, stopping at gas station, what happens when we get to the Airbnb, what happens at the beach, classic "we gotta share a room?

Ughh" E, when we're left alone some heavy fluffy flirting only if your comfortable. I know miles is 15 l'm 14 so you really don't have to if you don't want to. A trip Possibly somewhere in Florida? 

A/N: Life has been crazy lately but I did enjoy my social media detox, I wanted to get this out sooner but I got into a car accident on Friday and I was supposed to hang out with this girl I've been talking to today but I had no car and I look crazy but, this is here now so that's all that matters.

Masterlist

“Be good,” Mrs. Morales warned. 

“I will,” Miles ceded. 

She looked him in his eyes in suspicion. 

“I promise,” 

She smiled “Okay come give me a kiss,” 

He kissed and hugged his mother goodbye before putting his suitcase in the trunk. He rounded the car to your side pulling the door open

“Go on the other side,” You didn’t even look up from your phone. 

“Scoot over,” He shoved your shoulder. 

“14 hours of this?” You rolled your eyes. 

“You love me,” He teased as you slid into the other seat to make room. 

Your older brother was going on a college visit up in Florida so your mom decided to make a family trip out of it. Of course, she invited Miles seeing as he was practically family. And who was he to say no to Mrs. Y/L/N?

After only 4 stops and one-half a night at a hotel, you’d finally made it to Destin. 

Your mom parked the car in between two brick-and-mortar shops on the uneven beach town roads. 

You immediately popped the door open hoping out to stretch your legs. Your brother got stuck with the pleasure of having to “watch” you and Miles on the Harborwalk Village pier, while your parents went sightseeing. He told you not to go too far before heading off on his own. 

“Look!” You pointed at a carnival game booth run by a tired and probably only a few years older than you teenager who certainly didn’t get paid enough. There at the top of a booth hung a very large dog stuffed animal with light blue fur and a purple collar.  

You tugged Miles along with you beaming at the boy. He coughed up the 5 dollars required for the both of you to get to fill balloon clowns' heads with water guns.  

On an unenthusiastic count of 3, you aimed your gun at the first clown’s mouth and pulled the trigger. 

Powered by your competitive spirit you quickly overtook Miles in the vanquishing of the clowns. His water gun consistently jamming was cause for frustration and his loss. 

“Game was rigged,” He informed you. 

“Okay, Trump. You’re only saying that ’cause I won” You clutched your stuffed dog winnings. 

“‘M saying that cause it’s true,” 

“I’m saying that ‘cause it’s true,” You mocked him in a high-pitched voice sticking your tongue out. “What are we gonna name our son?” 

“He is not my son,” 

You gasped, shifting the dog to cover his floppy ears with both hands. “Don’t say that in front of him!” 

Completely ignoring him you turned away from Miles to cradle the stuffed animal. “I’m sorry Miles Jr. I don’t know what’s gotten into your dad today. He doesn’t mean it,” 

You handed the toy to Miles telling him to apologize. He glared at you for the name before mumbling a half-hearted sorry to the dog. 

He couldn’t believe he actually liked you enough to apologize to a stuffed animal named after him. 

“Thank you,” You smiled before spotting a sandwich shop a little way down the boardwalk. 

“C’mon Miles, Junior,” 

“Why are you making me hold this thing?” He complained, glancing around at the other passersby on the pier. 

“He is not a thing.” You readjusted Junior in Miles’s arms to be cradled like a baby. 

You continued walking down to Say Cheese situated at the end of the boardwalk occasionally glancing back to make sure Miles was still holding the stuffed animal the way you gave it to him. 

——————

“Stop!” You complained, shielding your sandwich from the onslaught of sand coming your way. 

Miles kept shoveling sand at you with both hands. “C’mon let’s go make a castle.”

“Let me eat,”

“How are you still hungry with all the snacks you ate in the car?”

“You ate all the chips,” You retaliated with a swoop of sand sent his way. “I only ate like two”

“Yeah, two whole bags,” 

“Shut up,” You reached your hand out to be pulled up from the ground. 

Back on your feet as you made the trek down shore you leaned into his side. You hissed when you stepped on a sideways seashell. 

He came to a stop jolting you back with him. 

“You alright? Was it a jellyfish?”

You drew up your face at that. “Why would there be a jellyfish all the way back here?” 

“You could’ve just said you’re fine,” 

“Okay sorry I’m fine, c’mon,” You tugged his arm with you. 

Finding a good spot between the water and shore you dropped down to form your sand castle. 

You waited until Miles joined you on the ground to scoop the viscous textured sand into your hands and stack towers of the sand on top of Miles’s. 

When you turned to find seashells to top off your pillars Miles knocked over half the castle. 

“Miles!” You shrieked pushing him down. 

He pulled you down with him, laughing at you. You couldn’t suppress your giggles as you wrestled with Miles in the sand. 

You were ready to pummel him with sand when you heard your mother call out for you. 

“Y/N! Miles! We’re leaving!”  

After racing and losing against Miles back to the rental car your mom turned you around. “Uh uh get that sand off you,” 

You rolled your eyes heading for the showers to rinse off.  

After cleansing the dusting the sand off yourself, in no time you were knocked out in the backseat of the car. 

You woke up past the sunset to a quick flash. 

You whined seeing your mother with her phone in your face from the passenger seat. 

You were entangled with Miles who was somehow still asleep. You shook him awake before getting out of the car yourself.  

—————

When you found out you’d be staying in the same room 

You jokingly complained, “He snores like he has 5 kids and works 2 jobs?”

“Be nice,” Your mother chastised. “He’s our guest,” 

“Yeah, be nice,” He teased.  

You punched him in the shoulder before lugging your suitcase out of the trunk. 

As you reached back in the trunk to grab your duffle bag, Miles grabbed the handle of your suitcase. 

“How many bags did you bring?” He questioned. 

“I can carry them, then,” You stressed. 

“No,” He grabbed your other bag. “I got it,” 

“Alright,” You slammed the trunk down before following Miles up the front steps of the AirBnB. 

——————

“Do you think-” You heard through the darkness. 

“Oh my God! No. Don’t say anything, go to sleep,” 

This wasn’t the first sleepover you had with Miles and it wouldn’t be the last, and almost every time without fail he would start spouting nonsense once the clock hit the AMs. 

“I was just gonna say what if dogs have existential crises?”

“How would I know that?” 

He shrugged despite it being only light enough for you to see his general silhouette. 

The exact moment you flipped back over to try to sleep, Miles interrupted you again. 

“Wanna watch The Road to El Dorado with me?”

Knowing you weren’t going to be able to fall asleep now, you loudly sighed before agreeing and sitting up against the headboard. 

He unplugged his phone from the bedside table resting between the beds, before getting up. 

You pulled the comforter back to give him space to climb in next to you. 

He grabbed Junior moving to put him on the floor. 

“No, don't put him on the ground,” You whined. 

“He’s staring at me,” 

You strained to lean over Miles and pick the toy back off the ground. You put the stuffed animal back on the bed so you were sandwiched between it and Miles. 

Then sidled up to Miles’s arm leaning on his shoulder. 

Not even five minutes into the movie, he felt you aggressively yawn, before burying your face in his shoulder. 

Soon your breathing evened out and when he glanced over you were asleep. 

He smiled to himself before pausing the movie at the barrel jump scene, moving so you were lying down. 

He put your phone on the charger and ensured you were tucked in before placing a kiss on your forehead. 

“Good night,” He whispered before lying down himself, ready to hang out with you more in the morning. 

©guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom

[xoxoavenger]

I Only Need Ten

pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, BestFriend!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

summary: when Eddie decided to go no contact with Y/N after a drunk night, his worst nightmares come to life at a party (based on scene from Daisy Jones and the Six)

word count: 2896

warnings: drug use (cocaine), over dose, terrible boyfriend (the oc not eddie), a small mention of murder and killing (deserved tho), near death experience

masterlist

"I think you're delusional." Steve says as him and Y/N walked up to the party, Robin practically running ahead to get there quicker. It was her first time at a party that was barred from high schoolers, meaning it would probably have hard drugs. Parties weren't usually her scene, but she was ready tonight. Y/N had been hyping it up for ages, begging Robin for years to go - since the younger got out of high school.

"Do you ever let anything go?" Y/N asked, already slurring her words. Steve rolled his eyes as he grabbed the bottle from her hands, one of his own wrapping around her arm when she stumbled a bit. "God, I mean, I think if Eddie liked me he would have said something." Of course they were arguing about Y/N's new boyfriend, her rebound from Eddie after they drunkenly made out and passed out with each other's hands halfway down their pants. Eddie made it very clear he wasn't interested after he slipped out before she woke up and avoided her like the plague, not answering any of her calls and leaving her to talk to Wayne awkwardly.

"Maybe he's afraid." Steve said, wincing as he took a long swig of the hard liquor she had procured; he already felt the hangover. Unfortunately the massive amounts of partying he had done in high school did not help as he got older. Just smelling alcohol aged him ten years.

"Please," Y/N snorted, walking through the people that were in the lawn, music blaring even outside. On the patio table someone was cutting cocaine, and before Steve could stop her she was breathing it in and throwing her head back in a laugh.

"Alright," Steve grabbed her and pulled her into the house, hoping she would only do one line. When Y/N was heart broken, she tended to go a little overboard. Her boyfriend wasn't very good at stopping her, and Steve didn't trust him.

"Steve, come on! Don't act like you're such aaaa," She trailed off, not knowing what to say. "I don't have a good comeback." She laughed loudly, and Steve took another swig of the drink. This was gonna be a long night.

~

"You are such an idiot." Dustin magically appeared at Eddie's side, holding a beer in hand like he did this every night. The two were leaning against a counter in the kitchen, where you could see everyone going in and out.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Eddie yanked the beer away, spilling half of it as Dustin protested, "C'mon, man! I'm seventeen now!"

"And what if Steve sees you?" Eddie knew it was a trump card, since last month Steve had been forced to pick up the kids from a party after it was busted and Will threw up in the roses out front. He hadn't said anything that night, picking them up and taking them to his house, calling Mike's mom to tell her they were all safe and had crashed at his place after meeting up with Eddie. He held El's hair back when she threw up, multiple times, and got them orange juice in the morning while Dustin lived in the bathroom. And then lectured them for an hour and told them that while he would always pick them up when they needed, he was going to tell their parents and let them deal with that next time.

"Steve's gonna be here?" Dustin looked around, but he didn't see Steve. Eddie wasn't even sure how Dustin got into this party; he has seen high schoolers get kicked out at least four times in the last fifteen minutes of him standing in the kitchen and looking for Y/N.

"Yeah, I think he's coming with Robin and Y/N." Eddie tried not to seem weird when he said her name, but Dustin was a perceptive little shit.

"We all know you two have a thing going on." While they all knew that Y/N and Eddie did in fact have some tension, the teenagers were not aware of exactly what had transpired a couple weeks prior.

"You don't know shit." Eddie chugged Dustin's beer, grabbing his arm as he tried to leave before he could go get a new one.

"I know plenty of shit." Dustin rolled his eyes, shrugging Eddie off and walking away, definitely going to grab another beer. Seems Steve's threats didn't work very well.

"Don't say I didn't warn you!" Eddie shouted, leaning against the counter and drinking out of his own cup filled with something a little bit harder.

He wanted to get wasted.

~

"Where's Blake?" Y/N slurred as she looked around. Her eye caught more coke on a corner counter, and when she lit up Steve felt himself tense.

"Have a cig," Steve pulled a cigarette out of his pocket, hoping it would distract Y/N enough that she would temporarily forget about the cocaine that she definitely did not need. He was just about to light it for her when he saw Dustin walk by with a beer in his hand.

That little punk.

"Dustin!" Steve yelled, mind filling with rage at the fact that Dustin had not learned at all from him. "Hey, come here, you little shit!" Steve was off, looking over heads to track Dustin as he snaked through the crowd.

Y/N immediately forgot about the unlit cigarette as soon as Steve was gone.

"Babe!" Blake threw an arm around Y/N as she came up from snorting a line, not even giving her time to breathe before putting a cold hand to her face and kissing her breathless.

Eddie watched the whole thing, watched as Blake threw back his drink and took a hit in one breath, watched the couple laugh and kiss messily. He couldn't take it, seeing her with him. He knew he had fucked up, that knowing her rejection would have been better than this.

He walked away, going to help Steve corral the other little shits that had snuck into the party before they got into serious trouble.

~

Y/N wasn't sure what she was laughing at. All she really knew was Blake had just pushed her off the bed they were jumping on, but her head was fuzzy and her body was heavy, so maybe he was doing her a favor. She liked laying on the floor, breathing deeply.

"Do you ever stop laughing!" Blake yelled at her, making her head spin even more. Suddenly, she felt less of the fun fuzzy feeling and more unclear and in the dark. What was going on?

She could barely breathe, she didn't feel in control of her own body. She could feel her brain shutting down as she closed her eyes. The panic set in when she was unable to open them more than slits, but it was quickly replaced by nothingness.

Across the party, El was screaming.

She was yelling incoherently at Eddie, who felt way too sober for everything. Max and Will and Mike were at her sides, trying to get her to calm down, but she was hitting the older man, grabbing his jacket and pointing up the stairs. He almost put her over his shoulder to walk out, thinking she was clearly wasted, when he heard something he knew was actually English.

"It's Y/N!" That got Eddie moving, running to the last bedroom he had seen Y/N go into. He had kept an eye on her, had watched her get progressively more unhinged and high, but he thought Blake had it. He is her boyfriend after all, and the last thing Eddie wanted to do was intrude.

How could he have been so stupid?

Steve marched behind him, the kids bee-lining to follow. Once Eddie got to the door and found it locked, he pounded on it so hard it rattled the walls.

"Blake? You motherfucker, you better get out of there before I break this goddamn door down!" Eddie's voice was deep and loud, making the kids shiver. They had never heard him sound like this. Blake unlocked the door to stick his head out.

"Go the fuck away, freak." Blake said, but he seemed out of breath and his voice was too high.

"Where's Y/N?" Eddie demanded, trying to push through the door.

"She's fine. Everything's fine. Just go." He rushed out, still trying to shut the door on Eddie. "Go, please." He begged, setting off warning bells all throughout Eddie's head.

"Open the door." Eddie seethed, tilting his head in anger.

"No," Blake started, shaking his head and pushing.

"Open the fucking door." Eddie pounded once more against the half open door, red hot rage engulfing him as he could think of nothing else but Y/N. The way Blake had said that she was fine so quickly, wanting him to leave, it didn't sit right with Eddie.

"She's not your's, man! You had a chance," Before he could finish his sentence Steve and Lucas were helping Eddie open the door; it was overkill, and Blake lost the fight quickly.

"Y/N?" He called looking around. It didn't take long to find her on the ground, unmoving. She looked uncomfortable laying there, not right.

Eddie's heart dropped so far it cracked the carpet.

"Oh my fuck," He ran to her, hands cupping her face. "Y/N? Y/N." He repeated her name over and over again as he lightly slapped her face, waiting for her to open her eyes. When she didn't he pressed his head to her chest, but he felt no movement.

"Holy shit," Dustin muttered as Eddie let out a quiet sob, the younger man stepping back slightly as he took in the scene.

"Steve!" Eddie called, not daring to look away from Y/N. "She's not breathing, man!" He could barely get the words out, his throat constricting in time with his wildly beating heart.

"No, no," Max's hands went to her mouth, feeling Lucas behind her. She turned into him and he cradled her head to his shoulder, making sure she wouldn't see the scene in front of them.

"Y/N? All right, all right, all right." He was convincing himself that she was fine, that any second now she was gonna gasp for air and laugh and he would kiss her senseless. He had been stupid to not talk to her, to not hear her out. Now, as he maneuvered her into his arms, he felt sick at the thought that he had lost time with her. "It's okay, I'm here, Y/N." He pulled her around and made sure her head was tilted up, not realizing how much he was shaking. He tried to calm himself by rocking back and forth.

"Dustin, go find a phone, call the cops, don't give any names. If we can't get her awake, they'll help." Steve ordered, taking charge of everyone before they could continue freaking out. "Will, go with him. El and Mike, go find Nancy. Tell her Y/N overdosed, that she's nonresponsive. The rest of you, tell Nancy to give you her keys and go to her car. Keep your heads down, we don't have time to bail any of you out of jail." The kids moved quickly, leaving him, Blake, Y/N and Eddie in the room.

"Y/N? Y/N." He was still repeating her name, smacking her lightly with the arm wrapped around her head, knowing he would do anything to see her chest move again, hear her heart beat.

"It's gonna be okay," Steve said, but Eddie wasn't listening.

"C'mon." Eddie begged, only looking up when Steve yelled out at someone. He saw Blake moving to the door, halfway out of it. "What the fuck are you doing?" Eddie yelled, head melting at the fact that here he was, holding Blake's girlfriend as she died while Blake was leaving.

"I'm sorry, I, I can't be here, so, um, I'll, I'm sorry," And with that stuttering mess Blake ran out the door, leaving Steve and Eddie alone with Y/N. The two didn't have time to be angry at Blake, too focused on Y/N.

"Steve?" Someone called from the hallway.

"In here!" Steve yelled back, and Eddie was relieved to see it was Nancy holding a white cloth.

"Put this here," Nancy slid to her knees in front of Y/N and Eddie, Robin and Jonathan trailing behind her with horror-stricken looks. Nancy pressed the cloth, which smelled strongly of alcohol, onto Y/N's nose as Eddie held her head up, tears beginning to run down his face.

"All right, stay with me. Stay with me." He begged, not letting himself think about what would happen if this didn't work. "Wake up. Wake up." He gripped her tighter, tears falling off his face and onto hers.

"Hold on," Nancy muttered, because this wasn't working. Y/N still lay unmoving in Eddie's arms.

"Please. Please, please, please, please." He had never begged for something this hard in his life, had never wanted so badly to be able to go back in time and change everything. He felt the guilt of this. He knew it was his fault. If he hadn't pushed her away, too afraid to face his fears, he would have been with her tonight. "Please don't, please don't." Someone was rubbing his back, telling him to breathe, but all he could think was that he wasn't the one that needed help. He felt the air draw out of him, the room closing in as more time passed without Y/N opening her eyes.

Eddie pulled her as close to his chest as possible, pressing kisses to her forehead in between muttered prayers and pleas for her to just stay with him, to breathe and open her eyes.

"Please," He muttered once more, raising his head to the ceiling and calling on anyone who was listening to help him. When he looked down again, Y/N's eyes were open - hooded and dilated, but she was responsive.

"It's you." She whispered, looking at him for a moment longer as he put his hand to her cheek before she closed her eyes once more, this time still breathing.

"The cops are here!" Robin called from the window, and everyone started moving. Steve and Eddie picked Y/N up, who's eyes are closing an opening at the rate of a turtle's.

"C'mon, we gotta go," Steve encourages, and Eddie has never been so grateful for someone who knew what to do. Usually, he likes to be in charge, likes to take control of situations, but right now he can't think. He's straining his ears as if he could hear her heartbeat somehow.

"She's not conscious." Eddie tells Steve, who silently leans down to help Y/N up. They had her arms over their shoulders, her feet dragging on the floor as the two boys carry her out.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him." Steve mutters as they get to Nancy's car, people running around and creating the perfect cover.

"I'm getting to him first." Eddie isn't seeing red yet, because he has to get Y/N to safety, but he knows as soon as she's okay he's going to go insane.

It takes three seconds for Y/N to be placed into the care of Robin, who looks up and expects Eddie and Steve to climb in.

"Make sure she's okay." Eddie says. He's already imagining every way he's going to hurt Blake.

"What?" Robin barely says before Steve is slamming the door shut and walking back into the house.

The men are lit by red and blue police lights as they make their way back into the house.

"Hey!" A hand on Eddie's shoulder stops him, which should top them off that they know this person because they went for Eddie's shoulder knowing Steve would wait. Eddie would not have had Steve been the one who was stopped. "What the hell are you two doing?" Hopper is standing there when they turn, arms crossed.

"I have to go kill someone." Eddie says, as if he isn't talking to the chief of police.

"Can I ask why?" Hopper doesn't seem very concerned, but he's sure Eddie is telling the truth by how angry he looks.

"You don't wanna know, Hop." Steve starts, knowing that Y/N won't get in trouble from him but not sure he wants to expose her.

"Are the kids okay?" Hopper asks, concerned.

"We got them out." Steve can tell Eddie is itching to break some bones, and he's not sure how happy Hopper would be about that.

"What happened to Y/N?" Hopper knows that the only reason Steve and Eddie would be marching into a party together is her.

"Hop," Steve starts, knowing that if they tell Hopper he'll probably tell them to leave so he can arrest the jackass. He needs to pummel Blake's face himself. He needs to let Eddie almost kill him and pull him back before any murdering actually occurs.

"She ODed and he pushed her off the bed before he left her not breathing on the ground." Eddie is about to turn around when Hopper grabs his arm. "You're gonna have to arrest me to keep me off of him, and if you're gonna do it you better do it now."

"Listen to me," Hopper says quietly, looking around to make sure the other officers are all doing something else. "I will keep them away from you. Whatever happens in the next fifteen minutes, I don't know about it. When I find him, it better look like a fight gone wrong and not a homicide. Got it?" His voice scared Steve, but invigorated Eddie.

"I only need ten." 

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @one-sweet-gubler @sadbitchfangirl @gloryekaterina @alexshaff2002 @m-rae23 @icequeen1371 @mcueveryday @xxhellfiregirlxx @parkershoco @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @peculiarwren

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ditching a long-term friend?

I (35F) had a friend (S, 33F) for years. We bonded the first night we met. We had ups an downs, and went everywhere together. I helped her kick her bf out after he tried to hit her and helped her through two miscarriages. She helped me through a family member death and a career change. We would speak almost every day, for hours.

She was always slightly more conservative than me. When 2016 rolled around, she supported Trump. I didn't like that, but it wasn't my place to bitch about it to her, it was her decision.

By 2020, she'd changed. Idk how it happened but she went from slightly conservative Christian who loved school and being a nurse and had friends who were LGBT+ (myself included), to deadnaming trans patients, refusing to do a blood draw on a patient after she said it was a prerequisite for an abortion, forcing patients to pray with her, even when they and their families spoke out against it, and bugging her coworkers to pray with her. She got fired from the hospital and was completely unable to hold down a job after that, and went through about 6 jobs that year, getting fired from them all. She got with a guy (B, 32M) and he is a... Well, he is a damn nut. Flat earther, antivaxxer, anti- Department of Education, anti-cell phone, thought bluetooth was turning kids trans, and that covid is 100% a hoax. Absolutely bonkers. But she was smitten, so I supported her, barely.

It's important to note that I backed away from her a bit after she was fired from the hospital. We were only speaking once every few weeks at that point.

Shortly after she got with B, my nephew was born. My nephew is half Mexican, half white. She called him "cute for a half n*g" because she thought my SIL is black. This blew me away because she's half Mexican. I told her off and distanced myself even further.

In 2021, she was a huge supporter of Jan 6th. She LAUGHED when that one cop killed himself. I stopped talking to her completely after that. Deleted her contact info and forgot she existed for almost 2 years.

Cut to October of this year, and she calls me. I didn't recognize her #. She and B are getting married! And she wants me to be a bridesmaid!!! Yayy! (sarcasm). She told me a long-winded variation of "I know we haven't talked for a bit but I promise I'm not as bonkers as I was, I think I let Facebook suck me in, and I'm sorry."

So, I let her back in. Not emotionally, mind you. She's not the woman I once knew anymore. I don't tell her where our house is (my partner and I moved while S and I weren't speaking), and I didn't tell her what car I drove. I didn't tell her anything about our lives, and kept the conversation solely on her, to try and read her out a bit.

Sure enough, two conversations in she starts ranting about how black people are black because they received the mark of Cain (it's a Christian thing? I guess? Idk I'm not religious) and thus should be avoided because they are inherently "up to no good," and that systemic racism doesn't exist because the US has had a black president.

I roll my eyes, hang up the phone, block her number, and end it, permanently, right there. I received a few odd texts from a number I didn't recognize, probably B's phone, so I just blocked that number and deleted them without reading most of them.

Cue our mutual friends. 🙄

She misses you! People can have differing opinions and still be friends! Why are you being so closed minded? She told us you yelled at her! 😭😭😭

Lol. I didn't say a word, but whatever.

I'd rather adjust my life to her absence than adjust my morality to her ignorance.

My partner is on my side, they saw her change, too. But our mutual friends are still upset. I shared some the racist and sexist text convos between me and S, and it's like they hadn't even considered my side of the situation. One is on my side now, the other two are still questioning how I can throw away a 6 year friendship over "differing politics."

So, Tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[rainbowsky]

'Happy' International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia

Apologies, but this is going to be angry and political.

The fight is far from over, my friends! Things continue to suck badly in most parts of the world, even here in Canada! We're seeing more and more bigots coming out of the woodwork, and attempts to roll back and even eliminate LGBTQ rights.

There are major elections coming up in some countries. PLEASE GET OUT THE VOTE. If your election is a ways off, don't rest! Start organizing now, because make no mistake about it - the bigots are already working hard!

Don't think you're clever by abstaining or spoiling your ballot!! As people have been saying, "A vote isn't a love letter, it's a chess move." If you look at voting as a means of 'getting the person you want into power' you're fucked. There will almost never be a viable candidate who you actually like.

Instead we need to think of our votes as a means of PREVENTING the worst candidates from getting into power. In Canada, that's that utter dirtbag Pollievre. In the US, it's obviously Trump!! I don't care how much you hate Trudeau, I don't care how much you hate Biden! Yeah, I know they've done shitty things! I want to punch them both in the face!

However, they're both Mary Poppins when compared with their opponents!!!!!! Use your head! We have to make sure those lunatics don't get into power!

Think Pollievre won't roll back LGBTQ rights? Think he won't go after abortion? Think again!! Think Trump won't do the same? Get out from that rock you're living under!

Look at the right wing nutbars they're heavily supported by and understand that they're supporting these candidates for a reason!!

Decisions have consequences!!! There's no greater evil than apathy! Take responsibility for your values and make shit happen, people!

Sorry for those not in North America, but I've barely got the spoons to follow the political events in my own region. If anyone wants to add details about how to best support queer rights in their region, please do.

[humanityinahandbag]

Steddie Accidental Marriage

AKA: Eddie and Steve have been together for twenty plus years and married for one.

No one told Eddie.

A brief one shot about Eddie being in love and also an idiot.

-

Eddie quickly becomes an expert at nodding.

More specifically, he becomes an expert at nodding to whatever Steve Harrington is saying, and as long as Steve Harrington's eyes stay fixed on his, he knows he'll probably keep nodding until his head tips off his neck and rolls away.

See, 1986 hadn't gone the way anyone could have predicted. The monsters, the portals, the child who could probably summon a giant marshmallow man if she tried hard enough. But the most startling development (besides coming out on the other side, scarred and shaken and very much alive) was Steve Harrington.

Steve Harrington, who was kind, sweet, and all too thoughtful. Who protected people with everything he had and pressed his heart into other people's hands without asking for it back.

And that sucks, honestly. Because he could still remember being invited to parties for drug deals and sneered at in the hallways, shoved into lockers by the group of hair-sprayed goons while Steve had watched like some all-seeing vassal.

It didn't help that Eddie had been in love with the guy since before popularity graced him with its unwelcome presence.

And now that he's kind, sweet, generous, thoughtful?

Well. He was doomed when he held that bottle to Steve's throat.

So yeah. Eddie is deliriously in love. He's not sure when it will end, but he knows it will end eventually. He'll slip up and Steve will realize he's gay and punch his lights out, or he'll find better, less frustrating friends and leave Eddie and the rest of them in the dust. But until then? He needs to take every moment he has.

And so he nods.

He nods when Steve Harrington asks if he'd like to attend pool parties with the kids. He nods when Steve Harrington asks if he wants to hang out alone and see a movie. He nods when Steve Harrington picks him up from physical therapy.

He even nods when Steve Harrington leans over and asks I'm not imagining things, right? You're, like... into me?

Steve beams. "Awesome," he says, and leans forward to press warm, full lips against his.

It will end soon, Eddie tells himself as Steve's hand presses into his hair and lips leave little dappling pocks along his jaw. So he'll take what he can.

-

A year passes, and Eddie is still waiting for everything to quietly shatter.

Which makes it all the more frustrating when it doesn't.

Steve is over at their new (government hush-moneyed) apartment almost every day. It's not unusual to see him puttering about, folding blankets or hovering above the stove. Their little home smells less and less like microwaved meals and more like whatever Steve has tried to cook up that day.

Wayne is delighted. "Finally got someone to talk about important stuff with," he crows one night after dinner, sitting in the recliner with a beer while Steve takes the couch besides Eddie. Their fingers link, bodies pressed tight alongside the other. If Wayne notices, he doesn't say anything.

"My stuff's important," Eddie mutters.

Steve just laughs, stealing the beer from his hand to take a swig before pressing a fond kiss to his cheek. "Sports trump everything, Eds," he says, and then goes back to discussing the game playing on the little TV with Wayne.

His thumb rubs back and forth against Eddie's hand the whole time.

Eddie holds tight.

-

Steve Harrington's phase to figure out himself lasts longer than Eddie would have expected. Long enough for Steve to drag him into bed, confident and shy all at once before taking Eddie apart slowly before putting him back together one little piece at a time.

When Eddie lets the I love you slip out, he waits for everything to crash around him.

Instead, Steve whispers something that sounds suspiciously like I love you into the seam of his shoulder.

Eddie holds even tighter and wills the moment to last forever.

-

Another year passes. Steve applies for community college and celebrates with Eddie and Wayne and Robin when he's accepted to the social work track. There's talk about moving closer to Indiana so the commute isn't as long. Robin already has an apartment with Nancy there while they work out plans for Boston that Steve has become more and more invested in.

Housing becomes more difficult to come by as prices rocket upwards. Which is absolutely, definitely, positively, one-thousand-percent why Steve turns to Eddie and says, "We'll find something that works for the both of us," and then proceeds to show up at Eddie's work in the little garage on Maple Street with a clipped advertisement for an apartment.

"I visited it today," he says, giddily drumming on the wheel as they drive through the main slot of road and past Loch Nora. "Just wait. It's got great lighting. And the landlord says that she'll let us get a pet if we want one!"

"That's... that's great," says Eddie.

It is a great apartment. Large windows. High ceilings.

"Which bedroom would you want?" he asks Steve, who's busy opening and closing every door to see how it latches.

"Whichever one you choose," says Steve, like that sentence alone hasn't rocked Eddie to his very core and shaken his heart loose.

Eddie nods mutely which seems to at least get a positive reaction out of Steve. "Oh! And I had this great idea. We could totally turn the other bedroom into a studio for you. How cool would that be!" He went on to describe the pullout couch they could put in the center of the living room. How they could host the kids, his Uncle, Robin, whoever else wanted to drop by.

Eddie could only nod along.

And he'd keep nodding as the furniture was moved in, and Jonathan and Wayne and Steve argued over the little bolts and screws while they put together the bed frame in the master bedroom. He'd keep nodding as the walls in that room were painted a lovely, dusted blue and two bedside tables were added to either end.

They didn't argue over sides. They didn't have to. Eddie naturally fell to the right, Steve to the left. Shared books filled the shelves along with sports trophies and twenty sided dice.

He didn't stop nodding when it was their first night there and Steve climbed into bed alongside him, exhausted and clingy, and pressed himself to Eddie's back whispering fantasies about how their life would play out.

-

And play out their life does.

They move to Boston. Eddie finds a new band. Steve begins working for Boston General Hospital in their pediatric wing where he holds kids hands and talks them through what scares them before surgeries. Sometimes, he brings Eddie along. The kids always shriek and laugh and ask to touch his guitar, and Steve watches Eddie with a kind of Love that could spin the world off its course when he plucks the first notes of a favorite Tears for Fears song.

Robin and Nancy live just next door, because Steve and Robin have separation anxiety and Nancy declared herself and Eddie to be best friends that couldn't live without the other.

There are great moments. And terrible ones. Sometimes there are fights and slammed doors and Eddie always waits for the other shoe to come crashing down, and yet it never does. He and Steve always find one another again.

Which is... odd.

Mostly because he's never heard of any other friends-with-benefits case working quite like theirs.

He brings it up once with Gareth on a weekly phone call.

"I don't get it," he says. "I mean... you'd think the guy could find himself someone to spend his life with. He's just... he's so great. He's just perfect."

There was silence on the other end. And then;

"Eddie?"

"Yeah?"

"You're an idiot."

Eddie spluttered and hung up. He didn't bring it up again after their next call.

-

The 1990's come and go. The year 2000 is celebrated with a kind of raucous glee followed by '01, '02, '03. Steve becomes head of the social work department. Eddie has stopped touring and is instead teaching music in an elementary school, where he plays music to children who hang off his knees and scream about wheels on school busses. They're happy in ways he couldn't have dreamed they'd ever be.

2004 arrives with the purchase of their first house, an occasion marked with Steve dragging Eddie from room to room, christening each one with an attention that borders on religious.

Eddie blames it on homeowner stamina and has to wonder why buying a house with your "booty call" (as the teens are now calling it) is something worth celebrating.

Though he supposes it makes said booty call more accessible, and makes it a little easier to struggle through the intense love and adoration that fill his chest at all times.

He's never believed in a God, but if he did, he'd probably ask what he did in a former life to deserve this. Even if he can't have Steve, he can still have him in any way that Steve is willing to give.

Which is why, ten years later and still somehow living out his dream, Eddie is left so completely and totally confused when all of his friends and family plan to swarm Boston to celebrate... something.

He's not really sure what they're celebrating.

But they're definitely celebrating something.

It's when he finds paperwork during an attic cleanout that he finally realizes it.

They bought their house ten years ago.

That must have been it!

Ten years of being homeowners come and gone.

This is made even clearer when Steve looks over his shoulder, curses, and says, "I forgot all about that."

"Me too."

"We should probably think of remortgaging soon." Steve tousled his hair with a sigh. "Not like it'll be any fun, but..."

"Look at you," says Eddie, hating how sour Steve's pretty face had become. He leaned over and pressed a kiss by Steve's ear, pleased to see him perk up. "Being an adult and everything."

"I can say the same for you."

"Don't you dare," says Eddie with a laugh.

And yeah, sure, maybe that didn't seem like much of an achievement, but Eddie was happy to give what he could. And so when Wayne arrived at the airport and practically broke down in tears, tugging Eddie into a hug to let him know how proud and happy he was for his boy, Eddie could only just smile and nod.

If his Uncle wanted to cry about Eddie repainting some plaster and tending to a garden and making consistent mortgage payments, who was he to stop him?

"Can you even believe it?" his Uncle asked in the car ride back to their home.

Eddie laughed. "I mean, I don't think it's that big of a deal."

"You just can't see it for what it is cause you've been doin' it for so long."

Which was a fair point. He had been a homeowner for a while now.

"I guess," he agreed, and Wayne smiled and pat his shoulder and asked him all about his job. He tells Wayne all about a group of six year olds who've all learned about becoming tea pots (short and stout).

Two days later (much to Eddie's consistent shock and confusion), Steve dresses in his best suit and helps Eddie knot a tie covered in tiny skulls and drags them both to town hall. They wait in a line on the third floor, Eddie looking around a little dazed and unsure, until they're finally let into an office and Steve (through tears) signs his name on a line before turning to Eddie and clasping their hands tight together.

"Eds," Steve says. "You gotta sign it too."

And Eddie, who has been nodding since 1986, can only nod again and reach for the pen.

He's not entirely sure why everyone arrived to celebrate them renewing their mortgage. He didn't even know City Hall made a huge fuss over the financial gains of two middle aged men in middle America. But his friends and family are waiting in the lobby. They're all crying, even though he's not really sure why, but that just triggers him into crying. Even more when the kids (though they're not so much kids any more) clump around them with hugs and tears and shouts about how excited and proud they are.

"It's about time," Dustin sobs.

"I mean, I guess," says Eddie, wondering why Steve hasn't let go of his hand yet.

But he's not going to let go.

-

He doesn't find out until one year later when Steve surprises him with a trip to Hawkins. They meet Uncle Wayne first thing before going off to explore their old haunts, flipping their middle fingers out the window at the high school, stopping off at one of their favorite old diners that still served what Steve considered to be the most okay chocolate milkshakes in the entire world.

Their waitress was a lovely older woman named Dotty who looked moments away from pinching Steve's cheeks when she collected their menus.

"What are you folks here for?" she asked. "Haven't seen you around here!"

"We used to live here," said Eddie. "We moved away."

"And we're celebrating," countered Steve.

Eddie blinked, considering the date before he remembered. "Yeah," he agreed with a nod.

"Oh, how lovely!" Dotty clasped her hands around the sticky diner menus. "What's the occasion."

And before Steve could get in a word, Eddie apparently decided to leap headfirst off idiocy mountain and say, "we refinanced our mortgage."

There was silence.

"Oh..." said Dotty, finally. "Well. That's... nice?"

Across the table, Steve stared at him.

Eddie couldn't shake the feeling that he'd said something wrong. "Um." He reached for a napkin, tearing and twisting it between his hands. "Yeah. Totally. It was a, uh. A big deal."

"Was it...?"

"Mmmhm," he squeaked, trying hard not to look at the way Steve was gaping at him. "We've, uh... we've been roommates for a while, so."

Steve looked moments away from sliding off the booth and into the earth's core.

It wasn't until Dotty left (a little confused and befuddled) that Steve sprung up, grabbing Eddie by the arm, marching them both into the parking lot.

"Refinancing our mortgage!" Steve stomped little circles around the concrete. A family walking by crossed to the other side of the street. "We're refinancing our mortgage!"

"Steve, you're uh. You're scaring people..."

"You're scaring me!" Steve tossed his hands into the air.

"Right. Uh... I got that? But... why? Am I scaring you?"

"Because you said we're roommates!"

"But. We are roommates?"

"We-!" Steve froze, mid panic.

Eddie, taking a chance, snuck forward and gave him a little poke. "Uh. Steve? You rebooting?"

Steve blinked. He reached up and scrubbed his face. He looked back up at Eddie before squeezing his eyes shut and counting back from ten. When he opened them again, Eddie was amazed to find there wasn't a blue screen behind Steve's eyes.

"Eddie," Steve said. "You honestly think I took you to city call to refinance our mortgage?"

"They're important documents," Eddie said.

"And that we've been roommates for over twenty years?"

"We're very good roommates," said Eddie, weakly.

Steve's eye twitched. "Roommates don't have sex, Eddie! They don't tell each other they love each other! They don't get married!"

"I never said we were traditional roommates! I just said-" And then Eddie stopped, Steve's words finally striking ground. "Wait..."

"Yeah."

"Wait."

"Mmmhm."

"Wait!"

Steve waved his hands. "Now he gets i- mph!"

Whatever he was going to say was cut off by Eddie dragging him quick into a kiss.

Dottie arrived back at their table just as Steve and Eddie slipped back into the booth, looking a little mussed and tossed about, lips red and eyes shining.

"Still celebrating that mortgage?"

"Actually," said Eddie, "it turns out, we're married!"

"Isn't that nice."

"It is," agreed Eddie, accepting his hamburger and shake. "Did you know I've been in love with him since high school?"

"How sweet! And how long have you been married?"

"A year!" Eddie preened.

Steve accepted his own burger. "He just found out," he said.

Dotty wasn't sure what that meant, but the two of them looked happy enough. Who was she to question a good marriage?

-

Published, edited, and slightly longer story found here!