#trust me i am not getting into this game im just bored at this point 😭 trying to stay out of art block

[brosif40]

they're so divorced

their big evil divorce is canon, the eu bros told me so /j

Having so much fun with them for some reason

[persona-brainrot-real]

a very long about haru because i love her and im upset about how the game let her story get overshadowed at every turn

its nearly 3am rn but i'm thinking about how genuinely insane it is for persona 5 to introduce Haru as a character who is struggling to find any of her autonomy and treat her the way that they do. her father is marrying her off to a man who makes it explicitly clear he wants to use her for sex and even Okumura, in his palace, is shown to understand this.

[ID: three screenshots of Persona five royal. In the first, Haru in her Phantom Thief outfit says "Father! You want me to be that mans plaything to satisfy your own ambitions?" the second is of Shadow Okumura, looking angry, saying "This is the only value you've had from the very beginning. The third image is before the boss fight against the cognition of Haru's fiance. He is saying "let's have fun! I'll play with you until I get bored!"]

even outside of the palace, in their daily life he makes it extremely clear that he has no intent on trusting Haru with company business (likely because he expects the company to be handed off to her husband after he dies) and he doesn't acknowledge her feelings or anything she says to defend her own autonomy (i know this is me reciting everything in the game i do have a point)

[ID: three screenshots of Persona five royal. In the first, Haru is upset as she says "So I'm not even allowed to decide where I will live, am I?". In the second, Okumura is saying "not only do you come home late, you've even stayed out overnight without permission..." looking disapproving. In the third image, Okumura is saying "I have my hands full right now with the company. Don't cause any more trouble for me." He is holding his phone.]

even when she first joins your team, she tries to insist on being useful and fighting, considering this is her request and her fathers palace, and morgana tells her she cant. i know its 'for her own sake' that she cant fight, but considering that Morgana was there when she first awakened and planned on using her to get through a palace alone, its really frustrating to then see him say shes not strong enough to fight in a team.

[ID: two screenshots of persona five royal. Both are taken in Okumura's palace. In the first, Haru is saying "I can fight too! Please, let me join you in battle!". In the second, Morgana is saying "Your persona is too weak to fight safely at the moment. Just leave that side of things to us for now."]

and this comes in AFTER morgana, while using her, gets her to insult his friends on his behalf because hes annoyed with them, even though she's visibly uncomfortable doing so, contradicts what morgana wants her to say, and is shown later to have no real malicious feelings for them - and all of the bitter feelings she DID have were because morgana told her that the PT's were mean and didn't treat him right or didn't need him, which wasn't true to begin with, and is why she has to ask him for direction on what to say,

[ID: Haru looks upset. She stands opposite the Phantom Thieves and looks at Morgana. She is asking him "What was it again?"]

and you bring all of this into a brilliant character of a girl who is so self-assured, so firm on what she wants and her own autonomy - i want to be a Phantom Thief, i want to be a hero, i want to have my autonomy but more importantly i want to earn it, i want to change my fathers heart myself so that he becomes a better person and a better business owner, i want to prove to him that i can be trusted with the company and that i have more worth than being married off - but never really gets to express that? Even when it comes to the fight with Okumura and her chance to have her moment - the moment where Yusuke tells Madarame he's a coward who lost sight of his passion, where Ann gets to tell Kamoshida that he's only alive because she wants him to live through all he's done (both in the palace and the real world), where Futaba gets to talk to her mom directly in a scene that always makes me tear up - Haru's moment to stand up to her father is overshadowed by her father speaking to Morgana instead!!!!!

i know that this could also be a huge meta moment - he sees his daughter standing up to him, defending herself, and dismisses her entirely to try and appeal to the next rational subject, a man, but . the man is a cat. it doesnt work as well if he turns to a cat to be like "well certainly you'll be more reasonable" and turns the focus to Morgana - who has already taken up a lot of time that Haru deserved to have recognised!!!!

i have issues with morgana, yes, and I believe a lot of that arc could have been really useful character building for him if it had been handled slightly better, given more weight and better pacing, but it really wouldn't have been such a big problem for me if it hadn't been pushed so heavily during Haru's character moments, because she is SUCH a good character!!!!

in her first appearance she makes for a really good subversion of what the PT's think that they are. her insistence on working for justice helps them work through their temporary doubt for what their purpose is and by having such a difficult situation happening in her life, she unites them all on something that they have to do. At least until they go to Okumura's palace for the first proper investigation, the intent to rescue Haru from her fiance is more important than the Phan-site and more important than any of Okumura's business practices.

she prioritises everyone elses happiness over her own to the point where she watches her father die on live television and tells the PT's to continue having fun at destinyland without her without considering that they'd want to be there for her. She has always suspected that people only wanted to be her friend for her money - and this seems to have affected her so much that despite being 'secretive about her history' at Shujin, she still doesn't mention at any point whether or not she has friends and is only seen speaking with teachers.

after her fathers death she has no real reason to trust any of the PT's - they were navigating with an unknown method, with no proof to show that what they were doing wouldn't cause a mental shutdown, they barely know each other, and yet she trusts them in spite of this and places her faith in the PT's regardless. even when faced with the person who DID kill her father, she understands that his death was a larger piece in a bigger plan and that it wasn't akechi's fault, it was the fault of Shido for ordering him dead, and in Shido's palace she's able to get the catharsis of killing the cognition of the person who aired her fathers death publicly on TV.

And what I think is a more frustrating part than any of that - where all of the Phantom Thieves, after their palace, get following story beats that increase their importance to make sure that you, as the player, can get attached to them, but the more PT's that join the team, the harder it is to juggle all of those characters and a lot of them have very vocal and prominent personalities that keep them involved. Yusuke's general quirks and behaviour keep him interesting, Makoto has an entire arc that's established ages before she's involved in Kaneshiro's palace, Futaba becoming navigator keeps her relevant, but where Haru's arc is taken over by Morgana in the palace where she's introduced, all subsequent story beats are entirely overtaken by Akechi.

Don't get me wrong, I love Akechi and he is in my brain 24/7, but it is extremely unfortunate that her fathers death immediately kickstarts the section of plot where the PT's realise that they're being tricked, meaning the plot suddenly ramps up, and during the school fair (something Haru is explicitly very excited about), Akechi's growing popularity and prominence in the story takes centre stage, especially as a day later he blackmails the PTs and joins their party.

Again, not complaining about Akechi, its just unfortunate that Haru's main story is clouded over by Morgana having a character arc and then the fan favourite comes in and immediately becomes the most prominent character for almost the entire rest of the game. It's sad because I love Haru but it wasn't until I romanced her that I realised how much I love her and how much there is too her - which ESPECIALLY sucks because it makes the section where you're reassuring her in the velvet room fall so flat compared to how you reassure everyone else.

ALL to say that i think it's wild to have a character whose entire arc routinely revolves around proving herself and reclaiming her autonomy from the men in her life, like her father and her fiance, and having her character arc so heavily influenced and even overshadowed by morgana, a male character. thank you guys for listening and if you disagree with me consider writing what your opinions are on your own post and not on mine :3

Anyway. huge rant post over. Haru is my wife and my girlfriend and my silly rabbit and i think she should be hyped up way more. ESPECIALLY for her showtime attack with makoto because that's fucking adorable. everyone must post one thousand haru okumura positivity posts right now

[ID: a gif of Haru Okumura, in her Phantom Thief outfit, holding her hat with one hand and pointing with the other. She says "I am no longer your subservient puppet!" while looking determined.]

[thepumpkincorsair]

So, I watched the first episode of “Those About To Die” on Peacock.

I enjoyed it, and Im willing to do write ups if folks would be interested…

Since I wana talk about details, and I dont wana spread spoilers, everything is below the readmore.

What I liked: 🔵 And what I disliked: 🟠

Total Ranking: 8/10 - very good, worth the watch 👍

🟠 It dove into the Intrigue right away, which made it hard to watch while doing other things, but I can appreciate a show that grabs you by the shoulders and shoves you down into the couch to pay attention.

🔵 It wasn’t boring, quite the contrary, I felt fully engaged throughout the episode. Theres a lot of small moving parts to the story, and it orchestrates together incredibly well so far, even for Episode One. The writing is very well done, which is a lynchpin for me on a show like this. You cant pretend to be an intrigue type series without a proper plot. And, in my opinion, they’ve set their plots well right away. Tenax getting those shares in Blue was a great con, which had clearly been going a while, but we only saw the tail end of it. I see this little setup as a great look at how the writers DO their work. Connections matter, money does more than talk, and if you play the game wrong, you die. Don’t trust anyone.

🔵 I REALLY enjoyed the historical aspects of the first episode. Like, yes, this plot happened, its a historical fiction and a number of these characters exist in history, but its not just that. Its the small details, the different knives in different cultures, the veterinary care of race horses, the deities from more than just the main roman pantheon, the drinkware, the VARIOUS clothes from various cultures and climates…. And yes, women often went topless when they were a sxwrkr. Gotta advert.

🔵 ON THAT SUBJECT: can we talk about “3 sesterce… and Im tighter than both of them.” MY BOY, YOU ARE RIZZIN TOO HARD AND I LOST IT. Please, please let him be in future episodes. Omfg….

🟠 I am forced to concede the accuracy isnt PERFECT, the horses wore modern driving bridles to go with their ancient styled chariots. However, Im realistic about how many horses are trained today to pull anything without blinders, and how much safer modern bridles are. I’ll also note: I absolutely saw the animal handler grab the horse differently (calmly) before the riot surrounded it, then direct the horse to dance in the crowd. Great training with the horse! Bad camera angle. Lol

🔵 I also really like this cast so far. Everyone fills their roles incredibly well.

Hopkins doesnt even need an introduction, the mans a legend and brings all his experience to the stage with him every time. -chefs kiss-

Rheon was great in GOT, he plays calculatingly unhinged exceptionally well. But I wont lie, seeing him in a more commanding, level headedly calculating person?

Hashim….. HASHIM!!! Im SO excited to see where his character goes. We haven’t seen much of him in Ep 1 just yet, but he’s clearly going to be one of the main players. Im not familiar with him as an actor, but I’ve enjoyed his performance so far, and I REALLY appreciate the story being told.

Martins is also incredible. She does a fantastic job of knowing the danger her characters children are facing, but also knowing she HAS to play her cards right to save them. She personifies the strength and determination of a mother perfectly.

🔵 Quite honestly, I have to give points to that whole plot-line in general. That point of view is something we’ve had hidden from us (in America) for so long, that I think a LOT of people have… become calloused. I hope seeing it will potentially help others come to an empathetic understanding. This isn’t glossing over what happened, or whats likely to happen to any of the three children.

🔵 I also want to gush over actually SHOWING the wider Roman Empire, we get to see the direct effect of their influence in both Africa and Spain so far. Egypt was their bread basket, and without that grain, youve got problems. The Berber Coast has animals, and people they want, and we see money exchanging hands for the purpose of those ends. We see how the locals were told they’d be treated fairly, paid properly, and even eventually become citizens, like the Spaniards, only to have those promises thrown aside as soon as the Romans have better money to make. These people gave the Empire everything it wanted, but the Empire is never satisfied.

We also get to appreciate how far west the empire went when the Spaniards are trying to sell their horses. (Plot-bunny: Andies are dancing horses, exceptionally athletic, and a prime choice for chariots, though, a standardbred is the usual choice for modern cart racers)

🟠 I will say the CGI isnt the best. You can tell exactly when they change from live action to CGI. But this is a minor issue for me tbh. Its passable CGI, and they use it to avoid putting animals or people in danger which, obviously, I appreciate. A chariot wreck was shown, annnnnd it was pretty darn accurate to how messy those would have been. Not good times y’all. Not good times. Also, the ramifications of a major concussion. Oof. At least the guy would have barely knew what was happening? Still.

🔵 The sound effects were enough without being over the top. Often times when theres gore to show, theres all these extra squelching noises and gratuitous blood… not this time. It’s actually… pretty durn accurate. Don’t ask how I know. I don’t wana tell you, and you dont wana know.

Overall, it was a really solid first episode, and I plan on watching the rest.

[whispering-coffee]

I’ve been holding this off for a while mainly cause I was afraid of doing it but I finally pulled through and now I have a story to share with ya’ll explaining what happened during my hold at the mall!

I went dressed in black leggings and a sweater, bummer that it wouldn’t show I know but i was nervous! I had drank some before leaving my house so by the time I had arrived at the mall i was already feeling the need.

To make sure I was going to suffer (I know i know im a masochist bite me) i drank an entire water bottle i brought with me in the car before actually heading into the mall. So yada yada time passes and im trying to figure out what to do at the mall and I go get myself a drink at the food court then i head off to look around the stores.

About an hour in the mall and its starting to feel pretty urgent but not bursting so i decided hey, why not play a game with myself, and got into a bathroom line. However once i actually went into a stall i just sat there fully clothed not doing anything, still holding it in then shortly after left. Trust me i was getting pretty bored here to have to do that.

I got another drink and finally after finishing it I was getting antsy, crossing my legs and shuffling my feet while i sat at a table.

HEY IF YOU’RE SKIPPING THROUGH THE POST TO FIND THE INTERESTING PARTS ITS OVER HERE

So i go back to looking around stores, feeling my bladder ache each time i take a step and now im actually like, nervous because like its dawning on me that Im really doing this in a public place. Let me say its pretty crowded, its not like the mall barely has anyone in it. So here i am standing around in the corner of a store thinking to myself if I really wanna do it, i was thinking for like a good 5-10 minutes walking back and fourth till i decided i was gonna pull through, after all i made a promise that i would post something interesting and different ;p

I leave the store and about another hour passed and im pretty desperate, like constantly moving around wanna put my hands between my legs desperate. But since it was a public place i couldnt really just do that unless i had to go REALLY bad (foreshadowing haha).

Did i mention it was really cold in the mall, only made everything worse xD

Anyways so Im pretty desperate, i take a seat at the food court again and get ONE MORE drink, and as im sipping on it im squirming in my seat cross legged, im sure anyone who’s into omo would immediately catch on if they saw me.

Just a little bit later im scrolling through my phone with my other hand on top of my lap (not between my legs just yet)

Now Im REALLY anxious because its getting to the point where I know im going to have an accident soon so i get up and just start walking around with my chest aching from nervousness. I even stared at the bathroom in contemplation before walking away.

A couple minutes of aimless walking and i end up having to sneeze.. needless to say a little bit escaped but i stopped it albeit i looked a little silly. My heart dropped during it too.

About ten or twenty so minutes and i have to go REAAALLY bad and im super anxious, i even entered a bathroom line thinking i didnt want to actually wet myself but after a couple minutes of waiting in line i felt another leak which automatically prompted a hand to crotch response, you can imagine my embarrassment.

After the leak I was honestly horrified but also having a LOT of fun, i was close to having an accident so I decided to try to find a secluded area in the mall to hang around in for when i lose control. Each step i took was agony to take but i kept movin, slightly bent over too.

Eventually i found an area where not alot of people were, there were still some but it wasnt as crowded as the other areas. It was like this dead end section with nothing of interest other than a few benches and stores.

I stayed here for about a couple minutes, mild panicking, hella anxious, and kiiiind of excited. Thats when i started losing control. I was kind of in a little corner where a protrusion of wall was blocking me but if you’d still be able to see me if you walked closer to the dead end.

It was a mix of terrified excitement when i tried to stop the flow but couldnt. The sounds of my pee hitting the floor wasnt helping. I dont think anyone actually noticed plus since I was wearing black leggings it wasnt super noticeable. I promptly rushed my way out of the mall keeping my head down leaving behind that puddle.

When i got back to my car i put out the towel i had stored in my trunk over my driver seat so i wouldnt ruin my car seats and kind of just sat in the car thinking about what happened. At the end i actually found the experience really enjoyable and might do it again ;)

[rigginsstreet]

misc. tag game

tagged by @blood-mocha-latte

a band you don’t like that many others do:

maneskin... tried a couple songs, wanted to like them.... cant do it

a childhood memory that you remember vividly:

this costume contest i refused to enter because my costume was boring and i knew i was gonna lose by the adults were like "no just join come on itll be fun" and i was like... already consumed by the darkness at that point lmfao and i sat watching everyone crying. fun! lmfao

least favorite animal and why:

i hate a snake. i respect their role in the ecosystem but dont you ever put one near me. dont put one within 5 miles of me. no. i dont trust anything that slithers bitch aint got no legs! i dont like that. and the striking? dont like that either. i have to stop talking about them now im genuinely uncomfortable

hot fandom take:

steve harrington is not a good character. he is badly written. yall only like him cuz you think joe is hot. thats literally it. the man has literally zero positive qualities. apply this to every other loved st character as well theyre all bad the show sucks i hope everyone dies

do you were any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

i wear a friendship bracelet and a rope bracelet i got on a cruise (i forgot what theyre called. sailor bracelets or something?) and thats about the extent of my jewelry wearing

a movie others liked but you didn’t:

i don't think i've ever cognitively watched a movie and thought that i loved it or hated it. i'm usually just like Well That Sure Was A Movie. <- im keeping prevs because thats what wildest thing ive ever read in my life i need to study you lmfao as for my answer, insidious movies are bad. youre next is bad. many movies this website loves i havent even seen but i know they are bad thats why i havent watched them.

three things you love about yourself:

my hair is getting real cute lately. i am a huge bitch. i stare at my butt a lot i think its fun

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

italyyyy i want to trace my roots

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

idk if theres actors i have beef with for their personality lmao several i dont like because they are overhyped and im sick of seeing them. ariana grande she counts as an actress i cant stand her lmfao the vibes are rancid also stop dating married (taken) men its gross its weird

things you’re excited for in the nearby future?:

for my dog to finally be healed from her surgery cuz god its a lot of working making sure she dont pop her stitches

least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

if stancy is endgame im setting fires to buildings i want you all to know this. also fuck a steddie and a ronance but that goes without saying

what’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?:

stranger things. riverdales a close second but stranger things... you are all genuinely mentally unwell i would like to speak to your therapists and tell them shit aint working

list three things you find beautiful about life:

the ocean my best friend the ocean. animals just be out here looking for pets... brings a tear to my eye. im really struggling for a third life is bad lmfao my best friend? thats it.

any dreams for the future?

i try not to think about the future it gives me panic attacks

how are you really feeling today?

sleepy

tagging (no pressure): @panickedpenguin @avalonlights @ihaveacorgi @imsodishy

[mirapteo]

top 5 apex characters and any thoughts or opinions on them?

hey anon yeah i love you also i am about to be so annoying i might need to hide this under a "read more" (future me here. yeah i did)

1. Crypto (obviously)

- everything about him (besides current lore 😒) is perfect to me i love backstories that include a wanted criminal aspect and the fact he is wanted but innocent just adds so much more flavor & i think the whole "to break the game i must do it from the inside" idea is badass. i also love all the familial themes surrounding his backstory i love that for the most part he is a cold and calculated person but despite being jaded due to all the misfortune that happened to him in life he still cares about his family and the few people he allowed to get closer to him, that he still has the capability to do that in the first place even when it has hurt him before.

- i love the whole crypto is just a protective mask to hide tae joon park and i like to treat them as 2 separate people. my gripe is that i wish we learned more about tae joon park, but i also sorta like that it leaves room for fans to interpret who tae joon park is on their own. from the very small bits & pieces it does seem like tae joon park is an overall softer more caring & trusting person compared to the closed off, on edge person that is crypto and it makes me all emo that all the unlucky shit that happened to him in life caused him to resort to being coldhearted and distrustful even when (i personally think) he doesnt want to

- also his design fucking rips idc. maybe im just a big jacket enjoyer but its so fun, it makes sense for his personality and the cybernetics ARE SOOOOO FREAKING GNARLY they r both sexy and lore important i love it

- for issues the most obvious one is FORCING A CHEMISTRYLESS ROMANCE BETWEEN HIM AND YOU KNOW WHO. i FUCKING HATE that they have written such an intriguing backstory for him & DONT DO ANYTHING WITH IT WITHOUT IT HAVING TO INCLUDE WATTSON. i hate how they cannot be their own separate characters and have to always have their stories intertwined in some way its like the writers are allergic to making them hang out with literally anyone else. kill code as boring as it was came so fucking close to that but the recent radio play had to ruin it because of course. of fucking course.

- i also hate the completely unnecessary age retcon. i hate that it frames him as a supergenius computer whiz at a young age. he was so much more likeable & easier to sympathize with as a completely normal office worker that just wanted to provide for him & his sister, only for it to bite him in the ass when he did literally nothing to deserve it. i hate having yet another character in their early 20s in this already oversaturated age range in media as a whole.

- i hate that with every lore update hes involved in it just further mutilates his character. i hate that i cant be excited when my FAVORITE CHARACTER gets lore attention because it just provides more opportunity for the writers to stomp on him. they dont care about him as his own character. they care about him in regards to the relationships he has with other people. thats not how u write a compelling, likeable, or realistic bond between people. it makes me so mad i wanna SCREAM

- anyway crypto tae joon park is my pookie bear he is autistic and he likes dragons and cats and kpop and elliott and being a good friend to the point of sacrificing himself i like him normally also he is my oc now

2. Mirage (obviously)

- mirage is just an objectively likeable character truly like there is a reason he is essentially the face of apex. he was my first favorite & for good reason. u get lured in with his endearing goofiness & then get smacked in the face with one of the most tragic and completely undeserved backstories. maybe im just a slut for characters that "wear masks" & have completely polarizing versions of themselves as a self preservation tactic because i love Mirage being the self absorbed, smooth, attention-seeking bastard on screen and i love love LOVE Elliott Witt with his crippling fear of loneliness and inferiority complex, slowly losing the things that mattered most in his life and feeling like it was somehow his fault & he deserves it

- but i dislike the flanderization hes facing in current lore. i dont remember the last time he was anything other than the goofy guy with a stutter that cant take things seriously. that old comic of him losing his friends because of his own douchebaggery & working to fix his wrongs is my prized possession. he is hurt & lonely & it causes him to lash out on people that dont deserve it and i wish they explored that more. i desperately need more asshole mirage in my life. nowadays he just feels like the one-note silly character whos only purpose is to fill in the comic relief role.

- also he has some of the worst fans ive ever seen im sorry they were like the main reason he stopped being my favorite. they baby him like he has never done nothing wrong in his entire life & in turn shit on characters like wraith or vantage bc they were "mean to him." as if he isnt capable of being an asshole, as if there isnt an entire comic dedicated to him being an asshole. i also hate that fans either lean in 100% into his mirage personality or 100% into his elliott witt personality. he is either a loudmouthed egotistical slut or an innocent wittle mamas boy that needs to be protected at all times never anything outside or in between and it drives me insane.

- shes still my sweetie pie. my biggest kin. i love writing him sooo much. i want to chew him. i want to set him on fire. i want to tuck him in and give him a forehead kiss before he goes to bed.

coughs anyway now with all that out of the way

3. Conduit

- im filipino of course im gonna be biased but hellooooo she is also just so likeable it is insane!! a sweet, goofy fangirl we can relate to that is literally killing herself just to provide for her family ouch it hurts GIVE ME MORE. all her little easter eggs and her fun voicelines like the devs really really loved & cherished her & it shows & she deserves it! my main issue is that it is literally her season rn yet all they care about is revenant Revenant REVENANT give me more conduit! what is her story with her family? hows her sister in particular holding up? how does she cope with her illness? will she ever open up about it to any of the legends? are they ever going to try to help her? is crypto gonna help find her a cure like he did caustic & then they kiss

4. Lifeline

- love her. love her personality. a medic that also isnt afraid to get her hands dirty & chew ppl out? love that for her. i also like where the current lore has been taking her (me? liking current lore? what a shocker), the fact that she was willing to destroy one of her strongest & longest bonds to defeat a greater evil? BANGER. she hurt people & she made sacrifices to get to this point but what does she get from it? a best friend that doesnt want to speak to her & a whole fucking army of murderous robots that want her dead. i wonder if shell have a "is this really what i wanted? did i just fuck everything up?" internal crisis cuz atp i feel like she has to. id love to see it

- also i am no.1 lifeline defender idgaf the demonization shes facing in the fandom for hurting their pookie wookie bear octane is so blatant and laughable u ppl really hate black women. its ok for ur favorite male character to make questionable morally gray decisions but got forbid ajay does it. gtfo of here!

5. Rampart

- just another objectively likeable character plsss she is sooo funny & sassy and there is not a single rampart interaction/relationship she has with another legend that i hate. she also has the biggest wasted potential ever. they were cooking something so good with big sister and ramparts relation to her & NEVER DO ANYTHING WITH JT. its been 13 seasons and nothing has progressed in her lore and its so so sad. she needs a focus season soon. u dont just drop a fun character with an intriguing backstory and just ditch it.

look im not going to read this back to fix things around if it seems disjointed with a lack of direction IDCCCC i am cringe and free!

[lake-archive]

Rank 6

AO3 Link

Fandom: Persona 5

Characters (main): Protagonist / Joker, Morgana, Luka (OC), Anja (OC)

Rank Down - Rank Select - Rank Up

The protagonist receives a text on IM

Anja – Heey! You’re [Name]–San, right? 

– Luka?

– Who are you?

Anja – Haha, sorry for the sudden text! I borrowed my brother’s phone. I’m Anja by the way! 

Anja – Anyways, I wanna go and do watch a movie today but Luka’s been acting all worried. So I wanted to ask one of my male friends but he has no time. Guess that comes with working on cases and stuff.

– What kind of friends do you have?

– What are you talking about?

– Aha…

Anja – That’s beside the point. I heard that you two are close and we met before. So I think I can trust you! Can you meet me in front of the movie theater in Shibuya? 

Morgana – So, what’s it going to be? Will you hang out with Anja?

I’ll go

Decide later

The protagonist meets up with Anja in front of the movie theater 

Anja – Ah, over here! (She waves one of her hands for the protagonist to come over) I’ve been waiting for you [Name]–San!

– Is this a date? (+1)

Anja – I mean, you can be my practice date if you like. Don’t want to get your hopes up now~

– Couldn’t you have asked someone else to watch a movie with you? (+0)

Anja – I tried but everyone is busy. Guess because of the short notice. But I’m glad that you made some time [Name]–San! It’ll be worth your time, I promise!

Anja – Don’t worry about the tickets, I already bought them. Let’s go inside!

The screen fades to black before transitioning to the theater

( Anja and I watched a movie together. It seems to be one based on a mobile game but I don’t know much about its source material. It’s something involving male idols )

The screen transitions to after the movie, back in front of the movie theater

Anja – Man, that was fun! Then again, I suppose they stuck close to the source material so I expected as much~

– You seem to be really into it. (+0)

— You enjoyed that, didn’t you? (+0)

Anja – Yeah, I did. Seeing the story visualized has a different feel to it after all. The writing of the original game was already pretty vivid but seeing the expressions on screen does give it a bit of a different feel to it! I felt even more with the characters than I did when just reading the story!

Morgana – This is way more than ‘getting into it’... 

Anja – Oh, and hearing every line voice acted? I was almost shaking! The voice actors filled the story with so much life! Aaah, maybe I'll go back and drag someone else to watch it with me again!

— You’re very enthusiastic. (+0)

Anja – Eh? I am? I didn’t notice, sorry! I didn’t mean to bore you!

— Did you have fun? (+1)

Anja – Yeah, I did! Thanks!

— Do I have to come along next time too? (+0)

Anja – N… No. Not if you don’t want to!

Anja – Sorry for having you dragged out here. I’ll make it up to you. Anyways, gotta go. I still need to do some work. See you!

( I feel like my bond with Anja is growing deeper… )

In front of Leblanc the protagonist’s phone rings and he picks up

Luka – Hey, heard you accompanied Anja today. Good job! She wasn’t being a handful, was she?

– Not more than usual. (+0)

– She sure is lively. (+0)

Luka – You sound as if you barely survived her. Did she let out an overly passionate speech again?

— Maybe a bit but it was fun listening to her rambling. (+2)

Luka – Woha, really? That’s good at least!

Luka – I’ll owe you one big time! Thanks for taking care of her! Anyways, see you!

Rank Down - Rank Select - Rank Up

[moonjxsung]

HI okay so this is gonna be a bit long, but it happened around when i was 19 like freshly turned 19 and he was just gonna turn 20. now he was in my college and a mutual friend so i developed quite a liking for him since due to the pandemic, he did seem beautiful cause of the mask.. yes i was kinda maskfished. but okay, i was really shy around him and everytime he would try to talk to me i would run away like typical teenage girl things 😭 but one day through my friend, i finally confessed and it turned out, he liked me too! i was OVER the moon oh my god. my entire life was around him so much that i absolutely failed to ignore all of his red flags. i will start listing them here to make it clear HOW stupid i was. i am someone who loves to get intimate, or sexual but only if im comfortable - and that has yet to happen to anyone. otherwise im incredibly disgusted just by the thought of a kiss, yes i haven't had my first kiss yet just because im scared :( but one month in that relationship, he was making overly sexual comments and would lure me into sexting almost every night. it was disgusting to say the least, because i really wanted to experience something romantic and innocent other than him telling me to say dirty things so he could cum. that continued until one day during my usual monotonous way of sexting (because i was trying HARD for him to understand that i was not interested, by appearing dry and bored because i was scared he might break up with me if i said it directly) he asked me for nudes. that was my breaking point because i clearly told him that its absolutely useless and disgusting to ask for nudes ONE MONTH in and its never possible from me. then guess what happened. HE STARTED CRYING AND I HAD TO COMFORT HIM. oh my god. nextly, he would always tell me about the x number of girls that hit on him every single day. yeah. idk if it was a way to make me feel jealous or swoon over him but it definitely wasn't working as i was loosing interest the way he would describe how girls would cling to him. (p.s. he isn't a handsome fellow, just tall) third, he used to get sick a lot. ON HIS OWN ACCOUNT. yeah due to his own faults, he would get sick, and take 0 care of himself and then come to me tlaking about how is health is so bad, when he wouldn't take any measures to cure it. it surely was so exhausting when i would beg him to take some rest and medicines but he would play fucking games till 4 am and miss college the next week. and, lastly! he cheated on me with 2 girls. his "ex-crush" that he swooned on over for 3yrs until he suddenly fell in love with me and my BESTFRIEND. MY CLOSE FRIEND. WHO HAD A BOYFRIEND TOO. yeah it fucked me up inside out so much i am now incredibly vary of every friend i make and even though its been 4 yrs i still can't trust any man in general. i am not in love with him, not anymore, but i still can't shake the fact on how stupidly i was in love and how blatantly i was used to satisfy his sexual desires. im so sorry for this stupidly long rant moon :(( -🍙

Oh my GODDDDD this is insane I am SO sorry :(( what is WITH men who feel like they have to ask for nudes or make overtly sexual conversation like 1 month into talking? And the fact that he CRIED ABT IT 😭😭😭 MAJORRRR ICKKKKKKK

It’s always somehow the ones who aren’t attractive and have absolutely nothing going for them who end up ruining your life. Like you’ll finally give in and give them a chance only for them to fuck things up and then a huge part of the pain stems from the fact that you chose to ignore red flags for their sake and they still did you dirty!!!!! So so unfortunate :((

I am so sorry this happened to you bby you deserved so much better. The right person will eventually come along who won’t make you feel so stupid for giving them a chance and even though it’s been so long I hope you know that you’re still capable of love and of being loved!!

I love you ☹️💓💘💖💖❤️🫶

[fipindustries]

how would my past selves react if they saw me today

mid 20's me: FUCK! so it happened in the end...? we actually did it? did it all worked out? is everyone cool with this? did we ruin everything, did we lose everything? are you happy? are you... are you the same person?

me: yup, it all worked out in the end, im am really damn happy with this, it was the best choice we could have made... and yes we changed a little, not on the really important stuff but ive changed a little. but... no more that we would have changed otherwise by just growing up

mid 20's: f-fuck... o-ok... ok fine, [sigh] ok, ok then i guess im fucking doing this

me: you're going to love it

------------------------------------------------

early 20's me: WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK? what happened? so that's it, we end up becoming... like that? the sjws won? how many pronouns do we have? what are your "triggers"?

me: omg shut the fuck up, first of all you are being intellectually dishonest, if you really cared about being right you would engage with people smarter than just the dumbest common denominator you find online, second... no, i assure you we are not "like that" you are not even that wrong about most things you just need to fucking chill

early 20's me: i look... better than i expected... uh, are you a femminist?

me: thats a complicated question im not going to get into right now, just... trust me, if i could sit down and explain all this to you you would agree with me... if it makes you feel any better i still think gone home is a really boring game

early 20's me: oh thank god

___________________________________________________________

teen me: (blushing, visibly horny) oh god... oh god, thank god, holy shit, holy fucking shit thank you, jesus christ holy shit thank you

me: yup, take it in buddy, we actually made it real, is happening, these are real

teen me: i... uh... i need some time by myself

-----------------------------------------------------------

kid me: [stands away from me extremely sullen and uncomfortable, refuses to speak]

me: i know, im sorry, this is a lot to take in, im really sorry, youre going to be ok, i promise you are going to be ok, want to see my animations?

kid me: i learned how to animate in power point and paint from a magazine, i did uh... five so far, one of them was about a guy being kidnapped by aliens and being forced to become an alien, i also did one about a guy who turns into a car and i also have an imaginary world where there is this evil company that pretends to be a normal company but is actually about evil scientists and its called-

me: fip industries, yes, i know, i wrote that novel and i made a couple of comics based on that, i can show them to you, want to see them?

kid me: [eagerly nods and walks a little closer]

me: look, this is the art that you are going to create

[rwqv]

whoops i accidentally unfollowed when i was trying 2 send u another ask ... am not a fake fan pls

no bro i totally get what u mean like the culling games absolutely threw me off... like season one was all happy n dandy and yuji was figuring out his powers yes!!!! and then ooo a flashback to gojos past thats super slice of life-y how cool! and omggg shibuya incident this is where soo much action is happening and kenjaku might win!!! and then kenjaku is setting up a killing game with a points system ? like where r we going with this

like yes action wow but like at the same time i just want the story to progress... like its all battle battle battle battle with soo many characters like give me sum story ...

i think the zenins getting destroyed was cool asf and i cannot lie naoya is kinda hot SORREY ..... like hes a terrible awful person and hes ugly when his mouth is open but like he looks hot when his mouths closed i cant help it..

remi is only in like 10 panels at max LOL so u shouldn't have any trouble.... but she'll be the one to defeat sukuna trust me

NO LIKE LITERALYL RENDERING IS SOOOSO BORINGGGG .... honk shooo snooze fest ... like the idea of it is so cool and when i actually do render like it makes me feel so happy that it looks so much better compared to the sketch ... but at the same time like i just get so bored nd unhappy after a little ... BUT THANK UUU .... im ngl i lay a bunch of random colors down n pray for the best .. i took a couple advanced art classes in my days that taught me like the slightest bit of color theory but really angel ganev on yt is my goat like i literally have learned sm from him just from his youtube shorts LOLLLL hes the best ...

but like yeah .. i alwayz render over the sketch which sometimes looks cool and it looks cool on all my inspo but oh my goodness it takes so so long to do ... lowk i might go back to lineart even tho i HATE lineart

YES NOBAMAKI NATION!!! SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fakest fan ever!!!! ggggrrr

yuji learning his power was so wholesome and even the kyoto exchange was good and gojo lore was also great and i liked the shibuya incident although i just wanted mahito to die. but whats the poitn of the culling game bro its not jeopardy... also i keep thinking whenebr they say noritoshi kamo as kenjaku i keep thinking its the third year or whatever

i think the complexity of jjk comes from the deep level of thought gege put into it. i was watching some explinations on tiktok and i felt like gege definitely has the brain to do stuff its just why did you do the culling games make more story pls

thats just personal feeling though i love seeing all the fight scenes and stuff but it feels kinda baseless like yeah all these randos popping out of nowhere for like 0 reason at all definitely have a meaning. all these good character ideas too

i do understand that everyone was saying jjk was dragging on for too long but 5 chapters is not enough to finish everything off either!!! what about the merger? what about like other people? are we ever gonna get a reason why sukuna goes on a killing rampage?? is he evil to just be evil?? i mean i get the fact that everyone hated him and he was based off of someone who was despised at birth for his extra limbs but... just blood lust?!

if gege did a spinoff series where everything was slice of life and fun id watch it... lobotomy kaisen is carrying me rn

LIKE MAKI YES GOO i support also WHAT... that man would want you in shackles bro he does not think of women kindly... naoya is a wild crush

esp with that popularity poll and HE COMES OUT NUMBER 5. NUMBER 5 OUT OF EVERYONE. HOOWWWW. over sukuna my bbg... and mechamaru...

I GET IT WITH GETTING BORED like okay heres another color that no one else will notice but ill spend 10 minutes undoing and redoing because it doesnt look right!!! i will be sure to chec angel ganev out!!!

i hate lineart tbh i just use my sketch as my lineart and call it good because if i line it it looks like i traced my own art bro its crazy but ur rendering over ur sketch looks so goated ngl but u do whats best for u because art is about being happy and cool!!!! and expression (even if its sugar baby gojo)

NOBAMAKI WAS SO CUTE IN THE SHOW IT MADE ME SO HAPPY they are so cute together i fw them heavy

i miss happy jjk

[bubsub69]

Entry 22

10/10/2023 00:20

I dont understand, I finally have someone, why am i not feeling different, I thought I'd at least feel something from having a goddess but it just feels fake, it feels like I'm faking it, like shes faking it why cant I just be happy with it. Im probably overreacting, these things are about trust and after having so so many people asking for money I dont feel like i can trust anyone. When she first started talking to me I answered her questions on autopilot, I didnt care about anything, it was just like i was filling a form, I had other people approach then ask for money on discord hours before she contacted me, how was i suposed to know she was gonna be the one that didnt require them, and thats the thing she said:

So just to be clear between us. I won't be asking you to pay tribute probably because you're in college.but that doesn't mean you shouldn't show your mistress appreciation out if your own free will whenever your mistress deserve to be gifted. Hope we're clear on that. I don't do findom.

So does she expect me to pay at some point? is that her plan? play the long game have me hooked to her so i cant refuse paying her or i risk losing her? I havent received any verification from her either which isnt helping especially since ive sent pictures to her, and she refused a videocall for me to lock myself because I "hadnt earned it", she also found me im assuming from the chaster server but shes never posted there before, fuck writing this is making me distrust her more and more. Shes trying to get to know me she… might be doing it so i get feelings for her and pay up.. GOD DAMN MY FUCKING INSECURITY WHY CANT I JUST TRUST HER. I'd rather be happy now and cry later than be miserable now and cry later anyway if she ordered me to pay.

I dont even know if she enjoys this, she has multiple servants so that doesnt help.. she takes a long time to reply. while she isnt really the degrading type, actually shes been calling me good girl a lot but that just feels hollow.. maybe i should try to ask to be called good boy, that sounds a lot better in my head, but shes into feminization and sissification what if she doesnt agree or stops liking me because of it, i need to talk to her about this were suposed to be honest to each other but im so scared of her losing interest in me i dont know if i should tell her goddamnit im such a piece of shit to her. im not even being honest about her being the only one cause im also kinda doing a chaster session, but that ends when the timer runs out but still im being dishonest with her, the one fucking requirement in a healthy relationship and i cant even give that to her, i was right before i dont deserve to be in a relationship, im not mature enough for it, if i cant even give her honesty, nor can i trust her, nor feel anything when i do submissive tasks. Im such a piece of shit.

School has been troubling as well, the theory classes are so soul crushingly boring, i just delivered my first project that came out like shit cause i was incapable of working on it and procastinated for 90% of the time, this whole year ive been struggling to work or study in anyway while home im gonna be fucked arent i

So much for happy entries.. i wasnt even happy when i wrote it yesterday just mildly hopeful, i hope this changes soon, please let me be happy with her, plese.. let me forget about D as well Im so sick of being stuck thinking about someone that doesnt care about me. I wish i at least lived close to the new goddess so i could at least entertain the ideia of meeting up and cuddling or something, god that would be nice

[cxnevr]

hiii!!! thank you for offering such an interesting ask game! may i join in the game pleasee?

so i associated myself with the black swan! black swan is known for its rarity and it made them special, just like im my own person! people have two perspectives about me, depends on how see them, just like black swan. some people symbolise black swan as something symbolize death, danger, and destruction. however, because its rarity people consider it as good luck. i like how people have their own opinion about black swan. just like black swan, i could be intimidating. but then some thought of it as elegant. black swan is also a powerful symbolisation of change and transformation, i believe i have grown throughout the years and willingly to always "transform" myself to be the best person i can ever become!

i choose 🖼️ for future apouse please! my gender preference for my fs is male please ♡♡

for the exchange

i am doing an intuitive reading for yor future spouse. so right of the bat im seeing someone who will into music. that could be one their hobby, guitar is their main interest. someone with a green eyes, i see that it could be the first thing that caught your eyes for the first time. they just have that crazily mesmerising eyes!

their love language might be physical touch and act of service. o they would always put their arms around you, or at least just holding hands. and im also getting that you sometimes thought that your fs could read your mind haha. oh and im also getting they like when you play with their hair. your fs has such a nice and fluffly hair that tempt you to always play with it.

i saw vision or 2 people talking mindlessly. you two wouldnt have to worry about running out of topic to talk about, the relationship never get boring. also im getting that your fs will look at you with hearty eyes (awww so cute!!)

i feel like he could be from denmark, switzerland, or spanyol. for initials im getting f, g, t, a.

you would meet your fs in a social setting im getting. its just like that classic movie scene where you guys found each other, in the midst of crowd. when you guys start talking, the spark immediately takes over the two of you!

expect him to play song with their guitar for you.

im getting a warmth feeling from him. he is a kind person, he might be working to serve others, so service occupation. that could be a teacher, lawyer, or even doctor (you get the theme!). however i could see that their job might be a burden sometimes for them, but im getting they are glad to have you when they come home. they love when you comfort him and whenever you are with him, they feel like the tiredness is long gone.

oh and they would make grant gestures for you when they ask you to be in a relationship (its cute but ngl i laugh, your fs is sooo down bad for you!). they would surprise you GOOD!

they are someone who easily open up for people, but once people broke their trust, there will be no second choices. im getting that your fs is someone who is wise.

im getting scenario of two people cooking together, that could be you guys' things!

i see so much love, trust, compassion, and warmth between you and your fs!! such a genuine relationship. LOVEE AND LOVEEEEEE the energy. rooting for you and your fs 🤩♡ thank you for letting me participate!! have a fantastic day/night!

hello!! thank you for participating in my game! and thank you so much for the intuitive reading, so many things you mentioned line up with a lot of my astrological persona charts and asteroids, and even the countries were so on point because i always get countries from nordic/colder regions and then spain out of nowhere. I’ve gotten the love language being physical touch thing a-lot and i LOVE that i will be a safe space for them because i really do love making people feel at home, it’s one of my biggest goals in life. also, i’m not specifically into musicians but i think i like that they have something they are dedicated to and are really talented in. it was a really sweet reading so thank you!!

for your future spouse, i am getting that they will be a very smiley person, but might also be kinda unapproachable at the same time. in an awkward, endearing way. might seem a bit untouchable but not to you and loved ones. they may also have sharper canines? some sort of a height difference will be present but not very big one, 10-12cm? they could be considered tall for where you or them grew up. i think they will be tall average, and kinda lean too. might be athletic without really having to try. honestly i feel like your future spouse and you might be a very lovely and warm and cheerful couple, and i had this weird scenario pop up in my head where you guys took your children’s friends’ under your wing by providing them with meals and a safe space to go to because they might not have the best home life. your future spouse is loved by a lot of people. genuinely. they’re like a neighbourhood sweetheart and they have such lovely boy next door energy but i don’t know how to explain it but it’s so cute. they are playful, might have gotten into trouble here and there but definitely a charmer and just very lovable overall. in my native language, there is this phrase that directly translates to, “good to love”. but it could also mean easy to love or just lovable in general and i feel like thats the closest thing i can use to describe your future spouse. also they might play soccer and might wear a chain around their neck for some reason. i feel like there might be some sort of puppy love situation going on at first, where they have a little crush on you and try to hang out with you, speak to you, but you’re not really picking up on it. they could be hispanic/latino, maybe have roots there ethnically. i think i’m actually picking up on spain very strongly, but also the Philippines.

cards i got: four of swords, knight of swords, nine of cups, page of cups

this person is really sweet. they might have an athletic/lean build (i cant remember if i’ve said this already). you might be some sort of a dream come true to them and i feel like they will be very grateful to have you in their life, and that these feelings of gratitude do not fade even after so long. i think this person is clever, probably did pretty well academically, but i don’t think they were a nerd or anything like that. i honestly feeling like you might kinda be the more studious and academic one and they’re not dumb but it’s just not something everyone immediately links them to. they might try studying with you though (not sure if you’re in school or might have been in school together). honestly take this as it resonates because i feel like i keep revolving around the topic of homes and they might have been someone you grew up with, could even be childhood friends/best friends because to me they feel so homey and like you’re already so comfortable with them. i think this person may have an older sister (or sister in general), and they might have grown up learning to be okay with emotional vulnerability. i think there will be a sense of peace and stillness as well when you’re with them.

thank you for letting me read for you, because i genuinely enjoyed the energy i felt from this reading. again, thank you for participating and i hope you have a lovely day/night!!

note: this isn’t tarot related at all i just realised you reblogged an F1 post so i’m very happy i love F1 too so so much

[jmkitsune]

Hihihiihi

I wanna ask 76 through 85 ☺️

Pretty please 🙏 ☺️ 😇

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Communication

Consistency

Compromise

Understanding

Encouragement

Accountability

Shared Desire/Mutual desire

Choosing to make it work everyday

77: How can I win your heart?

talk to me, like shared personal time/interaction is a love language I thrive with- I'm EXTREMELY anti social but someone makes me wanna spend more time with them in spite of my wanting my alone time= good shit

take GENUINE interest in my stuff (like I'm a creator so like...show interest and engage with things I make and all that, be it my writing, my tabletop stuff, gaming, whatever- show me that you're not just passively /letting me have my hobbies/work- take active engagement in it so we can share it

be yourself and let me be MYSELF- like I understand no one is perfect and no one should CHANGE for anyone but like if I get the impression you're faking yourself to impress me or hiding parts yourself cause you think I won't like that- it says you don't trust me and that hurts, just be yourself, it'll work itself out or it won't promise, it's better that you're yourself and I dislike you vs you trying to be someone else and I like that VERSION of you causing you to hate yourself- I'm not worth that kinda trouble

be smart, and i don't mean just BOOK SMART but like be able to TALK to me about stuff- I'm political, I'm invested in world events, I'm deeply invested in the media I consume as well as the media I create and such- I want to have CONVERSATIONS not surface level small talk- yay tism, I obsess over things so if I can't have ranting conversations about it with someone...I don't speak at all, but also - like I love when someone is smarter than me at something because then through osmosis of conversation/interaction i learn from them

be creative, like can't gussy this one up but, I can't stand "dull people" who have no spark of imagination or anything, which doesn't mean some people don't HAVE it- it means some people actively choose to ....not engage it.

ACCEPT day 1- I'm boring. I am predictable and routine (like even down to my eating habits I have the same things every day), I am not exciting/thrilling, I am not adventurous and know that I'm the homebody I wanna be a stay at home husband who works on his books/tabletop games for people, maintains his home, streams video games and loves his partner, oh and maybe has a shiba inu/husky and some cats lol if that's not what you're into- im not for you- no main character energy here. I am just someone who wishes that we'd stop living in "historically interesting times"

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

no I reject the idea that "insanity brings on creativity" because I believe it is insanity that got us to the point where we are now.

Einstein never said it but the idiom is true- insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

To stop trying to fit into boxes I don't belong in for people who wouldn't want me as I am

80: What size shoes do you wear?

9 and 1/2

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

I don't wish for a tombstone, I actually wanna have a jedi funeral pyre when I go

82: What is your favourite word?

probably "wicked"

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

KINGDOM HEARTS (ive been hyper fixating on the KH wiki recently...)

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

"fuck"

"what the fuck"

"goddamit"

"alrighty..."

"hmmmm" (like the witcher)

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

don't let me be misunderstood

gratze for all the asks :D

[thatfuzzyfamiliarspace]

I feel like I’m too accessible, thing is I could never withhold sex from him. He says waiting days pents him up more and he gets more dark with things. I want that. I’m so so annoyed and upset that I don’t remember last night. Like he gets to have that memory. That pisses me off. It feels unfair. Now I’m sitting here, horny and sad and crying while he’s sleeping next to me. I feel like I’m not gonna see him tomorrow. I don’t even want Alex round, i’d rather be with Jordan. But he wants to go home and play games anyway.

I’m so fucking sad. I feel like the d/s stuff has slowed down. I can’t bare the thought of the “honey moon period” wearing off. It lasted over a year before for me, near enough 2 years. I can’t have 4 months (6 inc the pre dating period) and then things start to fizzle into a casual setting. Maybe moving out might bring more of that stuff back because of the limited time and privacy we’ll have. God im just sitting here worrying and panicking about us.

I tried to initiate today, nothing overly forward but I still tried, and I got rejected. So now I don’t wanna even bother again for ages. That fucking sucked. I deserve someone to burn for me, get hard when I kiss them and have their eyes light up when I tell them I want them. Ik he was tired and that’s okay and valid. But I didn’t even feel like he wanted me. He said he did but I didn’t get the vibe at all. So much is changing. I don’t even find it hot when he looks at other women anymore. I don’t feel like this no.1 prize anymore so it’s just another point to add on not feeling secure. I don’t trust him and his view on me. I feel like I was the fun new toy and now I’m “getting old”. I get jealous that he watches porn. That’s not like me !!! At all !! But it’s fucking changing and now I’m just like every other boring bitch out there who doesn’t like their boyfs looking at other women. Great. Where’s the fun in that.

I’ve just gotten angry and am just ranting about shit now. But my god am I annoyed. Like why couldn’t he just tell me to use the vibrator before bed if he was too tired for sex ? He just left me there. Like a massive “fuck you”. Naa, fuck me while I’m mortally drunk and have your fun and full but then give me nothing the next day when I was basically begging for your cock. No instructions or anything. He coulda told me use toys or just have eaten me out before we got food. But nope ! I can’t help but think, if it was some new girl that he would just jump at the chance. It’s because it’s me that it’s fine for him to pass me off. Ik im being unfair in my thought process rn but I can’t help it I’m so sad and angry.

[youabandonedthem]

hey @ottiliere i ilke your dirk au i hope is ok that i put some of my headcanons into it. in my comic slick gets dragged to the psych ward so i thought a crossover where they meet would be awesome.  if you keep reading here is some of my speculation on what they could do together

 in this roommates scenario it is impossible for dirk to really ignore him like he can do with other patients. and if we say in a context where they're not both being tormented/put into comas by seroquel something very interesting can happen .

like even if dirk is rude and irritable and deliberately tries to get him to fuck off tihs is obviously not off putting to slick in the slightest. for multiple reasons. one because hes a rough mobster and thats him but mostly in this scenario he's like "ok fuck it im in the nuthouse for the time being and it's injustified and the people here are gonna be a little quirky but there is a chance they share my situation." the other patients are scared of/used to slick (they know who he is) so they pretty much ignore him if he tries to preach his truth or talk them up. or like i can see some entertaining his need to chat but just saying stuff like "sure Slick.." "yeah..." trying not to encourage his insane thoughts. so he eventually stops bothering/trusting them since they dont get it. the rest he has deemed too actually crazy for his company. e.g. he meets another schizophrenic individual and they have DIFFERENT "beliefs" or they have hallucinations so hes like get away from me psycho. (his diagnosis is FAKE!!!) hes caught on to the fact that the more he talks to the nurses the longer he has to stay. so hes so fucking bored and has had no one to REALLY talk to outside of occasional crew visits for a while now. so once dirk arrives he would take an extreme interest in both him and little cal and try to take him under his wing because hes pretty much just a kid who simply "did not draw the best cards" in slicks eyes. And i think while he's talking at dirk and sharing things such as the BULLSHIT reason hes there... random details about his life...a mutual interest could possibly begin once he learns that this completely schizo ass carapace bug man is a crimelord mafia boss. plus it possibly appeals to him that slick doesnt seem to mind his "mannerisms" . plus slick starts teaching him how to game the nurses so he can get out faster

they can possibly...sort of... bond over self harm although they do it for very different reasons. slick does not care about cutting his skin open to prove a point but essentially he thinks nothing of things like cutting any part of his body open using various tools just to achieve whatever goal he thinks it will solve. he doesnt like pain but doesnt flinch very hard . I think if he sees dirk having successfully found a way to cut his wrists in the room he would watch and htink "this kid is fucked" but not intervene or report besides probably asking him wtf hes doing the first time. if dirk gives him a rude or non - answer he just asks him how hes planning to hide it from the nurses. after that he accepts it and hes like ok sure. (addendum slick just angrily tells him to knock that shit off unless he wants to stay in crazy town for another month. he starts treating it like he treats droog smoking ...knocking the razorblade out of his hands etc. i am not sure at what point hed stop bothering. i think it is a matter that hed BEGIN bothering once he starts thinking dirk needs his help..perhaps in the first/second instance he did not intervene) BUT if he saw dirk slamminghis head on the wall he would be like heey the fuck? whoa whoa whoa thats your brain case kid are you trying to go retarded? he begins feeling responsible. (it is them vs the Nurses and Doctors in this sick sick building) also i think dirk would just do these things in the room once hes assessed that slick (at the bare minimum) wouldnt tell on him. this is after theyre all buddy buddy . Mostly i'm talking about slick's end as to present it with the knowledge i have and not make any DIRK ASSUMPTIONS !

theyowuld possibly even help each other try to escape they could even fucking succeed ...slick would fashion lethal weapons for both of them out of various shit he found/stole and dirk would take one although i dont think he would use it .slick would be showing him stabbing motions using his shank and dirk can teach him his dirk tricks . They would make it together and get to the outside world and never see each other ever again. this is really the circumstance of two completely unrelated characters put in the same cage and forced to work together. but i think it would work

dirk would really be the one trying to tolerate slick for a long time before he warms up to him a little if at all . slick is so fucking lonely that he doesnt care what the fuck dirk does plus hes way older so he has control of the dynamic really. maybe his crude earnesty appeals to dirk but hes also overly aware how insane and delusional slick is but they do form this alliance. i am also thinking they could have some "art" connection which would be honestly kind of cute and funny if dirk is drawing very IRONIC offputting work for a bit and if slick were to be present he would gesture to take his pen andthen casually draw huge boobs/COCK and/or a really shitty caricature of dirk onto the page with emphasis on his huge bleeding wrists and the glasses. I think this would be a defining moment that is literally only ever possible in this context ever . it is a testament to their trapped animal mentality.

Hypothetical drawing by slick

basically it is like arranged marriage. theywouldnt even give each other the time of day or look at each other more than a few seconds if they were not roommates in crazy town. PLUS slick has been trying to be a good boy unlike dirk so maybe he has more privileges eg pointy objects so he could enable dirk to draw in the first place. or he steals the pen for him. also slick would be stealing dirk extra pudding cups from the cafeteria (he just grabs them off of other peoples trays) upon seeing how horrifically bony he is. hes like: kid youre scrawny as fuck. anyone feed you at home? and i dont think dirk would have any response to this question he would turn away and stop talking to slick.

the topic of interest: their viewpoints of each other and what their relationship could actually be...defined as. there is much to consider here. if this narrative had one ultimate point to display i think that it would be the nature of transient relationships. and this showcases a lot the disparity of their different perspectives. (below) 

>slick's pov. obviously he knows the ways of this world and a good idea of the relations he has and wants to keep unlike dirk. he has nothing hed label as a"friendship" but he has deep connections. let's say his age range translated to human terms is mid - late 30s not for official purposes but like experience/maturity(?) wise. (i debated whether he could be entering his 40s but slick is not that mature really... 40s is like settling down wife n kids. at least this works for this specific instance) obvy he is still a triple digits age chitinous bug creature. ANYWAY... at first dirk is just some kid whos providing him entertainment in this dull schizo jail. but he realises they can help each other out here. (the event that prompts this is probably when dirk tries to fight security and gets bootyjuiced) it's reminiscent of the karkat alliance ...they have a common goal which is gettingthe fuck out without any setbacks. slick possibly had an escape plan (serpentine like his heists) in the midst of hatching prior to dirks arrival but you see he has a 'crew' mentality. the only plan he came up with is missing a vital second person to help carry it out. (or he had a really shitass solo plan with a small chance of working out that he was going to try if he got DESPERATE. the key thing is he wouldn't want to do anything he thinks wouldnt work because again he specialises in heists which NEED to go well with everything accounted for. but he was honestly on the verge of trying it...until dirk came along and changed his life)

but like hes still not exactly 'using' dirk he does connect and see value in him as a companion due to all the aforementioned scenarios and this is why he chooses him as the worthy candidate for his PLAN. this is what causes him to feel that 'responsibility' for him i would think. not through any kind of paternal instinct but the same obligation that caused him to try to comfort karkat that one time when he was crying (and then start slapping the shit out of him). i mean i dont want to call it paternal...but he realises that he is THE adult in this situation and the only one 'in charge' of this kid in a way. also hes uncomfortable with displays of emotion/mental illness so if his most basic awkward attempt to fix it doesn't work he just starts using force (as displayed in the karkat example). this would encapsulate his reaction towards dirk self harming. ok the point is he sees it like this: they are together to help each other. and then it's a done deal. then they'll both fuck off to their 'normal lives' he figures. if he ever saw him agian of course hed be like oh its that kid. fuck was his name...Dick? but that's really it for slick. nothing deeper. now DIRK ON THE OTHER HAND... 

>DIRK MODE. it is not really that he 'hates' people and people hate him there is more like an absence of meaningful connection. or connection altogether. his friend is a doll . if this is the first time in 20ish years anyone has actually shown they respect him as an equal this encounter is going to impact him for the rest of his life. and not only would he likely use slicks treatment of him as his baseline for future possible relations but he would also become sort of obsessed with him after this whole thing is done.he has literally no one else. like maybe he doesnt even realise it at first until theyve parted ways and he goes back to wherever he lives and hejust sits there with little cal and little cal does not talk back to him. and it hits him. it's like the dark gritty version of the hero's journey..he went to the other world and was given a tool towards realisation. and now hes just back in his shit reality . but it is important that obviously this singular encounter cannot undo anything he learned over 20+ years. but he got a taste of something novel that he thought only existed for other people.(?) or was played up for fiction even . but it was real. he knows slick was crazy and did awful heinous crimes for fun. but he was nice(?) to him and helped him and wanted to be around him . there is really nothing that will be able to change his mind about this.

hegoes through life that is identical to what he had before the psych ward and whoever he encounters treats him the same uncaring way as they did before (or potentially worse/with more pity or judgment if theyre aware of his stay) and this time he thinks about how slick didnt judge him for anything and actually cared about him . he did not stare at his arms with fear/pity like other ppl do. everything what slick did for him gets played up in his mind. the brand of pudding he stole for him sticks out at the store. he sees unabashed schizo shit online and it reminds him of slicks occasional rants. he sees criminal activity reported in the paper and wonders if it was slick's crew (he mentioned the existence of his crew...Or imagine if it was visiting time and slick brought dirk along to meet them at one point...this cna be expanded on) 

i feel like this may help lead him into a dangerous situation in the future depending on how it develops. ok another important factor is slick's age relative to him. dirk possibly hypothesises that slick is around the age of mister dave.(this can mean something if you want it to) PLUS any other actual adults who were in his life (teachers..dave...anyone else) just treat him completely like a child. this could result in something interesting..the way that slick regarded him as an equal (at least in dirks perception) and was way older. i think whatever he takes away from this will fuck him over.

additionally i think it is possible he couldget desperate again for what the psych ward symbolised for him and he pulls a supremely bad suicide attempt that is guaranteed to fail for literal attention. he gets warded again but of course slick isnt there and hes just alone there like in original dirk psychward context. except this time he completely feels the emptiness. and hhis radical attempt try to attain it again just didnt work.

but i also think a second chance encounter years after this incident would truly highlight the differences in their mentalities . based on my dirk knowledge  i think he would not try to show any feelings and regard slick very casually even though his mind would be on the verge of collapse . a lot would depend on the span of time and what happened in between ofcourse and if he was given the opportunity to meet...anyone else... or develop any more social skills at all. additionally i think what your expertise would know the answer to is if he would try to seek out slick deliberately and to what degree. also if the second meeting happened and it was shitty i think hed just go kill himself. like hed buy a gun so it would work this time. it is also up to your discretion how dirk thinks slick remembers him in a direct selfaware comparison to how he regards slick. maybe he would be realistic/self deprecating about it i mean it would make sense because nobody else truly values him and he probably figures that this extends to even his psych ward saviour.

So ya idk just some thoughts let me know wat you think

[necronatural]

any theories on why madatobi is so popular? to me it makes no sense. very little canon interaction (I mean not that this matters) and also like (and this goes to show how little Im aware of the fandom lmao) I always thought izuna & tobirama / madara & hashirama relationships would be more popular bc of the in text structure theyre given… so the prevalance of madatobi absolutely came out of left field for me. have to say I wish I was still ignorant

enemies to lovers babyyyyy

they're very, very, VERY good character types for the juiciest enemies to lovers tropes; tobirama is a mean little cunt and a realist while madara is a boisterous bastard and emotionally driven. fundamentally they go great together. for people who love E2L hashirama doesn't really 'click' because he doesn't believe they are enemies until madara starts attacking the village which isn't really a great jumping-off point. as for fandom archetypes people prefer balls of sunshine with loudmouths when they're not enemies or the loudmouth is a lone agent :( rip king you could have friendzoned him so good

the problem for me is that the text does not support it to the point it's comedic its like

1. madara already has a senju he has a fraught frenemy relationship with that canon made really really gay at least on his end even though i dont think hashirama will ever love him sorry king. sorry. hes gonna friendzone you man.

2. while their personalities go well together socially madara and tobirama are both the types of dudes to talk past people; they don't have any chemistry they would obviously just not pay attention to what the other is saying... its like...boring enemies

3. the battle is one of obligation the stakes aren't personal they don't even fight each other ever. imagine like idk enough iconic enemies with weirdly detailed pasts together... uh... ok forget that hashimada are homoerotic for a sec but imagine cloud and sephiroth battling to the death and sephiroth decides to hook up with tifa or barrett. like man. are you sure?

ok pre-game events sephiroth/barrett would be like crazy... um... i guess tifa in this case since she's younger and not a structural element

4. just give izuna madara's fanon personality are you crazy. he doesnt have a personality you can do this. this is why izuna is treated like a spare tire you took away his purpose (to stand next to tobirama)

5. in order to escape the antichemistry of the context they exist in people defang their dynamic and make tobirama the victim, make the uchiha the heroes, or both in order to get the awkward non-enemy thing out of the way so it's a more digestible "tobirama doesn't trust uchiha and the uchiha don't trust tobirama but they're willing to work together" kind of setup. which is good but it demands a softness that undermines the power of their cunty archetypes a little. i can't fuck with it but that's my preference i've said before i only read character stuff so "softening archetypes" sounds evil to me

every time people ask me about fic stuff i sort of cringe at how picky i am LOL...its fic...and i act this way. read more books maybe. anyway

6. people wont let them be toxic unless it's for sexual sadism reasons. i follow madatobi artists and fic writers all the time and they're all people who get that if you crash against someone you have no chemistry with specifically because you have no chemistry with them and you need that. and you discover you are capable of developing chemistry as you throw shit at each other. the magic fucking happens.

also full madatobi aus like modern aus or whatever tend to be waaay better but i love how fucked up founders era is so i won't read modern stuff for a ship i dont like LOL. and youkai aus are better but like...the prose in these trying to make tobirama seem ethereal always inventing a new kind of racism for albino people. buddy you wouldn't do this to jiraiya. stop