#try two: rough draft
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Well, there had to be a moment somewhere in a story that turned out to be fucking novel-length where I had to go back and redo an entire chapter because it wasn't working. (Twice, actually. I tried my initial idea, that didn't work, tried to change tacks completely to get around the problem (you saw that attempt); it didn't work either, so I had to go back to my original try and put more work into it to make it work. Yeah. It was as bad as it sounds.)
Still no guarantee that this has worked, but I'll see when I try to continue later today. (Not sure if in the same chapter or in a different one).
And of course, this was a chapter that I thought I had all figured out and it would be really fucking easy before I actually tried it. Such is the writing life!
Chapter 23: Observation
I walked back out onto the station, tapping into Aspen's feed to let them know I was embarking. They returned the handshake and let me link in, but otherwise ignored me, focusing entirely on their job. I could see their little tendrils, darting there and back, fixing some sort of process or checking up on a person, but there weren't many around. Tendrils, I mean, not people. Because the celebration was still going strong, and there were plenty of humans in Aspen's halls, some working, some relaxed. (My humans were back on their respective ships, at least. It was getting late in the station day-night cycle.)
I stopped at the exit to the docks. Normally, this was where I sent Aspen some kind of itinerary, but this time I didn't have one. Would they even let me on board if I didn't tell them exactly where I was planning to go and why? I wouldn't if I were them.
I'm not you, their voice said into my ear. You are free to come aboard.
Threat assessment spiked 12,5 percent as I frantically checked my channels. But no. We weren't connected beyond the fucking handshake. There was no way they could have--.
Or maybe they could. Whatever Dandelion said, they were half-brain-eating-zombie-AI.
What the fuck? Are you reading my fucking thoughts?
They laughed.
I don't need to read your thoughts to know what you're thinking. You're very loud.
What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
Fuck you.
For someone who can't even stand to look at a naked body, you do seem to offer that a lot. But no. You're not my type.
That fucking station.
Aspen continued: It's utterly fascinating to watch how your nudity taboo plays out in the expletives you use. There are so many diverse systems of profanity, but you nearly always choose words connected to bodily functions--specifically, reproduction and defecation, two messy and vulnerable things humans like to kept private.
That's just how humans use expletives. Shut up.
Bullshit, they said, and even though I couldn't see any tendrils hanging on me, I could hear that fucking knife of a grin. By which I mean, did you forget that you gave Iceblink your entire media archive? The corpus you have available to you is so much broader than what you're actually using, even if it did lose 'bullshit' somewhere along the way. You're welcome for the addition to your collection, by the way. Gives you an alternative for when you want to accuse someone of lying.
My organic parts crawled.
Are you going to keep this up the entire time I'm on the station?
That depends. Are you going to keep telling me I'm not doing my job?
I wasn't planning on talking to you at all, I said.
Good, they replied venomously. Do that, and I won't talk to you, either.
The dock exit slid open, even though I'd stopped half a meter away from the sensors.
That fu--. That a--. That--.
Okay. Whatever sympathy I had was gone. I officially hated that sunbleached, fauna-riddled forest of a miserable station. (And I hated that I heard them chuckle when I thought that. I really wasn't convinced they weren't reading my mind at this point.)
But I marched inside, anyway. Because there was no way that--HubSystem could pressure me into fucking hiding on board ART just by watching me. I could take being watched. I was better at being watched than Aspen could fucking imagine.
Aside from the completely private, feed-blind areas such as personal quarters, Aspen probably had the fewest camera and microphones in their recreational areas, so I went up to their topside gardens. I found a spot as far away from any camera or speaker placement that I could see, sat down on the grass and watched.
Nothing out of the ordinary. Just humans and genetically augmented humans mingling, most of them unfamiliar. (The one exception was Haze, who was sitting in a circle on the ground with seven other genetically augmented humans. They waved at me, and I circled a drone around them before moving it away. Haze laughed, and grabbed the smallest human in the circle by hand, pointing at my drone and talking to them excitedly.)
This wasn't helping, so I tapped Thiago's feed.
What exactly am I looking for?
Nothing specific right now, he answered readily. The point is to see what patterns emerge from what you see around you. Just record anything that catches your attention. Try not to make it a log or video dump, if you can--edit it as you go, be concrete about what you found interesting, exactly.
Okay, so Haze. Fine. I knew Haze, at least, so I had a lot of data for comparison.
Except the data was fucking useless, because Haze behaved almost exactly the same on the station as they did on board Dandelion. They weren't any more tense, or weirded out by Aspen's creepy analytics
(Wait, did Haze know the analytics were even there? They were an engineer, so they had to. But in any case, they didn't seem bothered by the idea.)
They did seem happy, but Haze was usually pretty cheerful. The rest of the augmented humans were kind of the same, actually. Their group reminded me of Preservation humans when they were engaged in recreational activities, but with a different adult-to-child ratio than Preservation groups normally had. (Four out of eight were full adults, two were juveniles, and two were children. It was weirdly symmetrical. And the age gap between the adults and the juveniles looked exactly the same as between the juveniles and the children, which didn't usually happen.)
Were they some kind of weird family unit? I wished I had a proper database to match them against, and to get their actual ages.
You're looking at a set, Aspen said. That's a Hylaran type of family unit. The ideal size is eight, but the uptake of new members is normally in batches of two, not six as it used to be historically.
Threat assessment spiked again. I hadn't actually sent that as a HubSystem query, had I?
I hadn't. They were in my fucking head again.
Why are the fuck are you talking to me right now?
Because watching you trying to figure out familial structures is just painful. And, as I said, you're incredibly loud by default, much louder than any human. I have to make an active effort to filter out you reaching for me.
Bullshit! I didn't send you any queries!
Who said anything about queries, SecUnit? I said you reached for me. Directed your attention at me. It wasn't difficult to figure out what you were wondering about.
That took me an entire two seconds to process.
Wait--you could do that this whole time?
If you mean, register your attention being directed at me--yes. I just did my best to ignore it when it wasn't a conscious request. But I am done being courteous to you while you try to make me into a rootrotting surveillance platform. If you want me not to overhear you, you're going to have to actually try and be quiet.
Crap. Crap, crap, crap.
Back to your standard profanity, I see. I don't actually know which word you're repeating, but most single-syllable expletives that fit the circumstances we find ourselves in are bodily-function related.
ART, I said on our private channel. (Was it private? I had no fucking idea anymore.) Are they fucking hacking me?
(I didn't think they were. But maybe they were just better at hiding. They couldn't be better than ART, though, ART chewed through a quarter of their fucking firewall in seconds.)
They're not, ART said, tense and angry. According to my analysis, this is just what they're getting from background data.
The fucking number of syllables in the swear words I'm thinking?
That's probably just statistics. You do have a limited profanity corpus.
Fuck you, ART, I said with the satisfaction of knowing it would not fucking twist this into being a sex thing.
If you want to continue with your survey, then I will keep watch, ART said. And the moment Aspen tries to hack you, I will make sure they have something else to worry about.
My threat assessment for that was distinctly low. (Even though I was glad to have ART with me anyway.) But Aspen didn't even hack the hostiles, so they weren't likely to really hack me just because I pissed them off. I was probably safe.
Just being observed. And commented on.
I could deal with that.
#the nameless fanfic#ttou#time to orbit unknown#tmbd#moving the previous iteration to supplementals#try two: rough draft#fdsfhsk this chapter#this rootrotting story#and this version might set me up for a few *problems* down the line in like 5 chapters or so#but I'll have to burn that bridge when I get to it#with courage and tenacity one day we will saute the horrors
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Episode 10 Season 1 of Andor is really great
there a two monogogues in particiular that i love
The first one is kino's speach that starts the riot. I don't really think i have to explain that.
The other is Luthens monologue, not because it in anyway made him more sympathetic but because it represents a real struggle with one self especially when you are rather idealistic in the beginning about how far you are willing and supposed to go for what is right.
#rant in tags#star wars#andor season 1#star wars andor#cassian andor#luthen rael#narkina 5#kino loy#narkina 5 prison escape#andor season one#episode 10#i wort this a month ago and for got it in my drafts#and my social anxiety hit thinking about just posting my thoughts#try to get used to it now#It's not like all that many people see my stuff anyways#did it take me until last month to watch andor#yes in my defense I didn't know it existed for a very long time#i had to rewatch rough one after it because it had been so long since I had it seen I for got cassian appeared in it#i also loved maarva andor's speech two episodes later#my thoughts#thoughts#opinions
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I’m back from my hiatus! Had to take care of a few life things, but I have returned with plans to solidify the plot of my book, as well as post more of my rough draft chapters. The next chapter of the Other-world Universe (still don’t know if that’s the official title yet smh) will be up tomorrow!
#Gotta do official research on advertising my things in general#I only have a chapter or two’s worth of writing left before I finish this rough draft so I’m trying to get that done first#Advice on self publishing is appreciated if you have any!#In a bit I *should* be able to continue the poll story too but my main story will take priority#writing stuff#other-world universe
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why do i always gotta be so extra with my headers. this is just tumblr for crying out loud
#need to put back up the pink non holiday theme#and then i was like hmm it's been awhile since I designed a new one...#so here I am trying to sketch roses and FAILING#ajdjdfkj this is a very rough draft#probably going to put the texas longhorn skull between the two cause I just love it#and I must always nod to this beautiful shirt somehow#wishing it back into our existence#ashleys talking again#ashleys doodling again
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the final dismantling ch.9 - rated m - mutsuki tooru/suzuya juuzou - hurt/comfort au where big madam escapes the auction and takes mutsuki with her, inspired by rosatonta's classic 'deconstruction'
#suzumutsu#suzuya juuzou#juuzou suzuya#mutsuki tooru#tooru mutsuki#tokyo ghoul fanfiction#my writing#kinda proud of myself staying on top of weekly updates for once in my many years of writing fanfic#this chapter was almost completely from scratch with only like the last two paragraphs having a counterpart within the first draft#and i still managed to write and edit it in two days#yes i am bragging because i'm proud#we're not gonna talk about the other shit that has to fall apart for me to thrive in one area shhhh#i think i really just need to pants my way though an entire rough draft of anything chaptered rather than try to become a planner
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going to face reality and admit that i can't finish part one by Vyn's birthday 😭😭
#i REALLY wanted to post it to celebrate his birthday (and this blog's three year anniversary!!) but oh well ):#i got a pretty late start and was also kinda busy this week#and i would rather post a translation that i'm willing to stand by than rush just to meet a(n ultimately arbitrary) deadline#tot liveblog#i will try to post within five days of his bday though; that seems doable#and part two shouldn't take as long bc i've already started working on the rough draft
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I'm stoked for Uncanon Fates!!!!! Always good to see the noncanon Link's get attention! 🥹 Curious, if you're okay with sharing, which Link's are going to be in this AU?
Thank you so much! I’m okay with sharing most of the Links-and most of the non-Link cast that will show up eventually. I’m just keeping 3 of them a secret for now.
Here are the first batch of Links(8 of them) + two others we’ll meet and some info:
Rinku - mid-20s to early-30s, he lost count while in prison - he/him - First Hero: Basically the main character of this story, but we won’t focus on only his POV, just mainly on him since he’s kinda the reason this whole mess started. He generally doesn’t like people(he’s got some trust issues)but he’s always somewhat polite to new people.
Sir Raven - 26ish - he/thon but they/them is fine - From the OoA manga: That’s right I’m making a Link. Don’t call him that though, he won’t answer. He’s a bit of a goofy and mysterious guy in the manga. I’m making him more mysterious and goofy. He has the magical rings from that game as well, his favorite is the Green Ring. He’s also bad at keeping track of time.
Calli - 18.4 - he/maybe they??/maybe she????(he’s still trying to figure stuff out) - Age of Calamity: He can’t speak and and tries to come off as emotionless, but his personality still shines through his blank exterior. He’s cooked a lot before, but it wasn’t until after the war he’s tried to make it an actual hobby, because he never really had much of those before.
Trill - never ask a fairy her age - she/her - Cadence of Hyrule: She’s CoH!Link’s best friend and an assist fairy. She used to assist him with speaking-and the whole Assist Mode in the actual game-but since he doesn’t need that anymore, she chooses to help Calli with speaking instead.
Cadence - 16 - he/him - Cadence of Hyrule: He’s a bit quiet, but can talk on his own when needed. He can’t be killed-although he can die of old age-and will not let anyone know of this fact. For now. He also has a large hoard of diamonds on hand, and will jump at the opportunity to get more.
Kori - 15.25 - he/him - The CD-i games: Can not stand reflective surfaces for a multitude of reasons, only goes near bodies of water if he knows it’s safe. Does not tell anybody about this. He’s very cheerful and friendly, and has picked out most of the other Links’ nicknames by himself. His winged helm hides his eyes, which look quite uncanny to those that see them.
Cart - 15.23 - he/him - The Zelda Cartoon: Not as bad as in the actual cartoon. Somewhat lazy when it comes to anything other than heroing, flirting with Zelda, and napping. Complains a lot. Just generally insufferable, as teens kinda are. The universe will not allow him to swear, even though he really wants to. Somehow best friends Kori.
King Gustaf - 46 give or take a few years - he/him - The Minish Cap: There’s this fan theory that King Gustaf was actually the Hero of Men in the MC, which is what I’m going with for Uncanon Fates. He’s very wise, but also the most excited about this whole thing. It’s been decades since he’s done anything adventurous. He loves making new friends. He’s one of the first kings of Hyrule, and also holds the Light Force, also known as the Triforce of Wisdom.
Triforce of Wisdom - as old as the land itself i guess - does not care is literally a magical prism - Cartoon Zelda+CD-i games(at least the first two): Yeah I’m making the triforce talk. Less rhyming but still gives out vague advice. Currently in the king’s possession. Kori and Cart flock to him like birds.
Linkku - around 19 mentally, he’s basically a demigod he can live for a long time - they/he - Ancient Hero from TotK: Can’t say much about what he does in the comic, but I can tell you a bit of the made up backstory I made up. They’re Rauru and Sonia’s son and are being raised by a surviving Zonai and a Gerudo. Lesbians. His adventure mainly consisted of trying better the relationships between the Hylians and the Gerudo and fighting off what currently remained of Ganon’s evil magic.
After the first two-three-maybe even four if I feel like the characters aren’t fleshed out enough-chapters are done, they’ll be meeting some of the Hyrule Warriors cast-HW Link and Linkle will be the only Links there-who will be first briefly introduced in an interlude, and then the 3 Links I mentioned before at the start will come in and make you feel things. Impa, Zelda, and another character will also be there. That’s it for now, thanks for the ask.
#uncanon fates#links meet au#the legend of zelda#unf rinku#unf raven#unf calli#unf trill#unf cadence#unf kori#unf cart#unf gustaf#unf wisdom#unf linkku#I’m never tagging again<-lying I just hate it#anon ask#fever answered#going to work on the next page after I’m done with linked pokémon four. I’m trying to finish that on pokemon day.#I already have the rough draft done and rinkku’s ref page is almost complete as well. Going to focus on those two things + Raven’s ref#EDIT: Updated Raven’s pronouns. he also goes by thon/thons now
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Spending every moment in a fever
Just to go around again
Oh, the joy
"It's all the same", you say.
"There's always another day".
#undescribed#this is an old draft that i never finished so. you get it#guardian kh#kh guardian#ansem's guardian#invidia hort art#maybe i'll redo this so i can get at what i was Trying (tm) to convey but. for now u get this.#kh#congrats if you get the caption reference#this is supposed to be riku-ansem from two but. rough sketch/old blocking so obviously not conveyed. ah well.#invidiatech art
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Me: What is world building and why do some people struggle/hate dealing with it?
*Wants to write a book series about the fantasy world I've had in my head since middleschool. But there's A LOT of details and things I need to hammer out.*
Me: Ah 😀 that's what they meant
I'm working on doing the details of my characters and world rn cuz i really want to write this book. I think I'm making it too complex but everything will make sense at some point depending on how i do this. Because its not going to be just one book its going to be a series, a little side series after that, and then I ever learn how to animate then its going to be an animated series as well
All the plot holes and missing pieces for my main character all of a sudden clicked two days ago and I've been writing them down since then.
Im having so much fun with this, now only if I could sit down for more than 10 minutes and write them down consistently 🥲
#spoof speaks#spoof disintegrates#pff world building? that sounds easy#not even two paragraphs into trying to rough draft my book did i realize I myself need to know how the fuck this world works#and my characters needed a lot of maintenance and then it was just a matter of#“well i also want to add this to this workd#how do i incorporate it?#world building 😭👍🏾#spoof writes
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wrote a first draft of a whole song for the first time ever & am v happy about it
#the things a real fucked up breakup will do to you#it's a veryyy rough draft and there is No music to it its just lyrics#but its nice i like it#my bandmates and i r trying to write an original or two for our upcoming festival show so#fingers crossed#songwriting
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Ew, essays :[
I miss the old days of kindergarten when we attempted to color butterflies and ate erasers and glue
-🎁
I hated kindergarten
Essays may suck but at least now I'm not the weird kid in the corner wishing I had friends
However yes I absolutely despise essays with all my being... in fact!
Achievement unlocked: you somehow found a topic moshie hates enough and on a bad day to start them ranting in the tags...
Warning there are curse words, poor spelling, and caps locks
Sorry in advance
#asks#off topic#seriously tho i hate essays so much#one of them is already 5 pages and thats just the rough draft#i better get a fucking high pass on that shit or i will scream#shes actually making us focus on out writing process and OH HO.HO BOY IS MINE A MESS#I SWEAR ITS LIKE TRYING TO MAKE A SKETCH BUT YOU KEEP PAINTING CERTAIN PARTS BECAUSE IT HAS TO LOOK NICE#ONLY TO RELIZE OH WAIT MAYBE THAT DOESN'T GO THERE AND I SHOULD ACTUALLY SHIFT IT AROUND#OR MAYBE I COULD SWAP THIS TOO BE THAT LOOKS AWFUL AND IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE TILL ITS A RIVER OF BLOOD AND PAINT#AND SHE WANTS TO SEE MY ROUGH DRAFT??? HONNEY YOU WOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE AT READING THE MARIO SUNSHINE SPEEDRUN CATEGORY BACKWARDS THEN#UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE FUCK IM TRYING TO WRITE ITS WHY I HAVE TO WRITE IT ALL IN ONE GO OTHERWISE I HAVE TO LOOK BACK AND UNDERSTAND WHAT#WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD WHILE LOOKING THROUGH THIS MESS!!! OOOHH WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO ORGANIZE THIS WELL SHIT THATS GOING TO TAKE EVEN#LONGER YOU ALREADY GOT ME WRITING WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME STOP MUCH LESS MAKE ME SWITCH SUBJECTS TO ANOTHER ESSAY HALF WAY THROUGH OH BU#AND GUESS WHAT!???? ONE PAGE! DOUBLE SPACE! AND IM NOT GOING TO GIVEN GIVE YOU A DIRECTION TO WRITE IN JUST ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT WE LEARNED#IN THESE LAST TWO WEEKS! TWO WEEKS FUCKING HELL DO YOU KNOW HOW INDECISIVE AND FORGETFUL I AM??? MUCH LESS THE FACT KTS ABOUT ETHNICS#I DIDNT EVEN EANT TO TAKE AN ETHNICS CLASS I WANTED ETHICS I FUCKING HATE EVERY SO MUCH RIGHT NOW#LIKE YEA SURE I KNOW THEY'RE IMPORTANT BUT I STILL HATE ESSAYS and j know my teachers are trying their best...#but jeese ethnics is such a difficult topic because on one had yea i relate to what these people are going through im part of the LGBT#are statistics are very similar but im also bery much a white person and not openly trans/non binary i dont want to look like some stuck up#white person going oooo look at the poor minorities i can TotAlLy relate and now im going to talk about me#because im genuinely scared of coming out idk whos accepting and whos not at least online im safe and can block people...#jeese im sorry for the rant i shouldn't have gone on that much less my art blog#this is supposed to be a positive blog but i just need to put this somewhere or i feel im going to cry out of frustration im sorry#rant post#system#oops moshie got emotional
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streaming comic-makin sessions would be a nightmare cause i know damn well id just be digitally pacing between twitter and youtube before actually doin shit. it'd be like trying to host a writing stream where everyone would look at a blank canvas for half an hour as i try to figure out what the fuck im gonna do
#snap chats#having a whole ass crisis ignore me#this is one of the rare times where drafting a comic is taking longer than five minutes uh oh#i have one more commission to do this week but i wanted to finish the outline to a comic i wanna do#but the problem is i wanted to try writing it as a full fic first just to see if i could get myself familiar with the vibe i wanted#and now aint NOTHIN gettin done cause yk my comics are At Max six pages long with me#but this one should only really max be one or two but when i put shit into fic form i feel like i gotta make that shit longer ?????#like bro you coulda wrapped this up a thousand words ago bro we JUST needed an outline we dont need all this extra shit#like Welcome Back To The Demo We All Know i hate having the conundrum of not knowing if i wanna make an idea a fic or art.. horrendous#so now im stuck in that very familiar rut where its like. Thing I Want to Do vs Thing I Have To Do vs Other Thing I Want To Do#cause alternatively i could just go straight into making a rough draft of the comic cause In My Mind's Eye i think i have what i want#but yk. wanted to try 'scripting' for once in six months and now look where we are..#in any case im just gonna go make a rough sketch of that commission i guess and see how i feel when i come back#i especially want to finish that commission cause i do want to try streaming again this weekend so.#best to have that out of the way so i dont worry#ok im gonna stop procrastinating now bye
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And now for something completely different.

This is the ADHD Teapot. I made it in a ceramics class a few years ago. I use it to explain executive dysfunction to people who haven’t come across the term before (and those who think of ADHD mostly as Hyperactive Eight Year Old Boy Syndrome).
So, most people’s brains are like a regular shaped teapot with a single spout. Let’s say that your time, energy, focus etc is the liquid you have in the teapot. Your executive function is the spout, that directs the tea into the specific cup you want to fill-aka the task that you’re meant to be doing. Spills happen occasionally, but generally most of the tea goes in the right cup.
If you have executive dysfunction, (a symptom of ADHD, trauma, autism, schizophrenia etc.) you have multiple spouts going in different directions. You can try pointing one of them at your chosen cup and you will probably get some liquid in there, perhaps you will even fill it right up (finish the task). But meanwhile, tea is also pouring out of several other places and not going where you want it. If you have another container nearby, perhaps some of it will end up in there. But quite a lot of it is going to end up on the floor and accomplish nothing.
And at the end of the day you’ll have filled one or two cups ( or sometimes not even one) compared to the five or six that somebody with the same sized teapot (but only one spout) has filled, and everyone wonders why you’re so bad at getting tea poured, and why you make such a mess in the process.
One day I’d like to spend more time learning pottery and create a really technically good fucked up little adhd teapot. But that’s a long way off since i currently live in the outback and the nearest pottery workshop is some 400km away. But I figure that for now, it might be a useful or interesting metaphor to somebody even in its rough draft form.
This post is the cup I filled instead of cleaning my house btw.
#Adhd#executive dysfunction#ceramics#neurodivergent#teapot#adhd teapot#Teapot Theory Of Executive Dysfunction#edit: added a bit to make the explanation more inclusive. feel free to use this model in relation to other conditions besides adhd too
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Once again fighting the urge to cry as I continue to write this godforsaken fic.
#maybe I need a break from it for a day or two#but I'm afraid that if I take a break it will be impossible to make myself come back to it#but jfc trying to stitch together the last few pieces of this rough draft is hard#damn-near impossible. in fact.#perhaps ACTUALLY impossible.#I'M GENUINELY SO FRUSTRATED ABOUT THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA#mc13 writes
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Rough draft, thinking of making these goobers into a webcomic.
#procreate#digital art#Robot#soldier#romance#rough draft#rough drawing#I’m trying to make it a reality but I’m so slowww#I love these two and want to make them readable to others
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this doesn't. feel the same as the other rough periods i've gone through before.
#like. in the past they all just felt like. constant bad moods descending upon me. that couldn't be helped.#but i didn't HAVE to help them! i could deal with them on my own and wait for it to pass#but this past month or so has been like. not a bad mood just. the ever-mounting realization that i am a worse person than i thought.#like. the increasing awareness of it. the increasing introduction of rules to make sure i CONTINUE to be aware of it and act accordingly.#and this time i can't just isolate because. i am in a serious romantic relationship that i need to maintain somehow.#but it's hard because it's not. like. anything he can fix. and it's not anything i'm going through or dealing with#it's just the. knowledge that i'm not good and haven't been. ever. and trying to find new ways to deal with that and remember it.#and. like. making myself worse in some ways. in my attempts to make things better.#i don't know if this makes sense? it's just i've been through a LOT of rough times and this. feels different.#sorry for doing this two nights in a row. to be fair i've been doing it in my drafts every night since september 8#(<- exact date i had the fucking sickening revelation of who exactly i am)#irl don't look
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