#trying to get better at painting sceneries and tried to play around with colors

[cosmosnout]

By the creek.

[jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka]

Santa Baby

Pairings: Jake Kiszka X Danny Wagner ***slash my besties

Warnings: fluffffff, domestic bliss, established relationship, smut, m/m sex, oral

Word count: 7.5k

“Did you just say you want to go play in the snow?” Jake blushed and pushed Danny off him, standing up to fix his shirt and take off his jewelry so it wouldn’t get lost or damaged. “Yeah, when was the last time we got to play in the snow?”

“Another text from Josh” Jake chuckled as he silenced his notifications and tossed his phone into the empty cup holder between him and the driver. “Have you gotten any from Sam?”

Danny glanced at his phone which was situated on a stand that hung from the air vents so it could be used as navigation. “Oh, only about seven” he smiled over at Jake and they both had a good giggle at the expense of their brothers being ignored.

As the soft laughs bubbled out of his chest Jake was able to watch as Danny kept his focus on the winding mountain road before them.

Initially Jake was reluctant about letting him drive, but Danny put his foot down and even brought up Jake's driving history to get him to back down. Though it was a low blow, Jake secretly admit that it was nice to be the passenger, so he could take in the beautiful scenery- of both his boyfriend’s gorgeous profile and the plush snow covered mountain top.

It was mostly a last minute decision for the two of them to sneak away for the holiday. Well maybe Jake had the makings of the idea in his head already after the past few weeks of nonstop photo shoots, recording sessions, and interviews had kept both him and Danny busy and drained.

He’d brought it up as a joke ‘why don’t we just disappear in the mountains and spend Christmas together?’ but to his delight Danny easily agreed.

One slightly delayed plane ride and a blink of an eye later here they were in a rental headed towards the only cabin Jake could find online still available for the week.

After just shy of an hour of driving, the deep green colored pines dusted in sparkling white grew thicker. The wind was blowing the loose powder from the tree tops like it was still snowing although the forecast didn’t call for more participation until tomorrow afternoon.

A break in the trees gave way to an open gate with a freshly plowed driveway and at the end of the drive was the quaint yet impressive cabin that the two would call their home for the next six days.

“Looks even better than in the pictures” Danny commented as he cupped his hands around his eyes and leaned his forehead against the window. He was trying to get a peek inside as Jake fumbled with finding the access code in the long message the owner had sent him with check in instructions.

“Would you quit being a creeper, what if we’ve got the wrong address?”

“There’s no way, you triple checked” Danny laughed at Jake’s incessant doubting, knowing it was just the perfectionist in him showing.

“Ah! Here it is” he chimed, reading the numbers aloud as he keyed them into the pad on the door. A little green light illuminated and the electric lock whirred as the bolt was retracted from the door.

“Good thing we’ll be able to hear if anyone tries to enter in the middle of the night” Danny commented at how loud the mechanical sound was. Either the lock needed to be greased, or they just weren’t used to the still silence of living out in the middle of nowhere.

They set their bags down at the door in a little foyer that contained a coat closet, a shoe rack, and a large framed painting of the very cabin with the phrase-

Everyone needs a place to retreat: a spot where the world grows quiet enough for the soul to speak.

“Cute” Danny said as he stood next to Jake and admired the artwork. After a moment he slipped his arm around Jake’s waist to give him a squeeze before pulling him up a step and around the corner where the rest of the cabin lay waiting for them.

Besides the small space at the front door, which offered privacy for those inside, there was a wide open floor plan shrouded in lots of blue tinged natural light from the abundance of windows that overlooked a snowscape that was so beautiful it could have been a painting as well.

To the left was a surprisingly large kitchen for the size of the cabin overall. Its stainless steel appliances shimmered, polished carefully with the numerous cleans in between stays. White quartz countertops mirrored the untouched mounds of snow outside, smooth and glittery. A vase full of probably two dozen white roses sat elegantly arranged waiting to greet the next guests. White roses Jake smirked to himself, of course they were.

The living room was to the right. It was small but cozy, a rocking chair sat in front of a large stone fireplace with a round table tucked to its side. The couch hardly looked big enough for the two of them, not that either of them minded having to snuggle up with each other. Behind the couch were sliding glass doors that led to a small porch built out of the same raw sealed pine as the interior walls. Two more rocking chairs made of sturdier wood sat on the porch that looked out into the sparse trees that grew into a sea of forest that surrounded their island of paradise.

Jake felt like he was going to get too comfortable here. He could picture how their week was going to play out already, him cooking in the kitchen, looking over the island at his boyfriend lounging comfortably on the couch, feet propped up, maybe reading a book to pass the time until food was ready. He��d stop where he was every so often to look up and say ‘smells good’ with his signature crooked smile that Jake loved so much.

Perhaps the most unexpected element was the fully decorated Christmas tree erected right in between the kitchen and the living room. It was a real tree, no doubt cut down from right outside and somehow hauled in through the door. It was covered in thick ropes of silver tinsel, glass ornaments of varying size and color, and large velvet bows. The lights weren’t on but he could tell when they did light it up, which if he knew Danny the way he thought he did would no doubt would be soon, they would glow elegantly bright.

“Look, a rule book” Danny pointed out a binder that was sitting on the counter next to the vase of roses. He flipped the book open and started to skim read aloud. “No parties, no pets, we’ve stocked some food in the fridge but there is a general store about 30 miles past the cabin's entry road. The upstairs and downstairs are heated by a radiator but it’s old so we recommend starting a fire in the evenings to keep the cabin warm. There’s a pile of wood around back. It gets really cold outside up here so there’s an assortment of coats in the closet on the foyer for your use. Please message us if you have any questions”.

“I’m going to take the bags upstairs” Jake called over his shoulder as he turned and headed back towards the front door, but Danny jumped up and ran in front of him.

“That’s alright I got it!”

Jake glowered over at Danny. He always treated him like he was a delicate flower especially when they were alone together. When in fact Jake was a grown ass man that honestly handled himself better than Danny did. He dropped his shoulders though and let Danny pick up both the bags, knowing that Danny just liked being extra nice and showering Jake with his affection any chance he could get since the times when they could be lovey-dovey around each other were few and far between.

“I’ll come with you, I want to check out the bedroom anyways” Jake wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Danny, who smiled coyly before leading them up the small spiral staircase at the other end of the living room.

The upstairs wasn’t much more than a loft. A large chair with a fuzzy gray cable knit blanket thrown intentionally over the back sat perched toward the window that overlooked the top of the porch and the yard.

Danny dropped the bags in front of the accordion closet doors and flopped onto the bed with a satisfied groan.

“Jake, I don’t want to ever leave here!” He stretched his entire body out over the bed like a starfish, unintentionally showing how impressively big the bed was since not a single long limb hung off the edge.

Jake took a seat on the chair, adjusting the waistband of his pants and crossing his legs to get comfortable. “Remember the last time we shared a room with a lounge chair?” He mused over at Danny who sat up onto his elbows in the bed with a knowing look.

Jake smirked, thinking back to the night in question when he had pulled the chair from their hotel room in front of the bed and watched Danny play for over an hour.

“You said you were going to be nice to me while we’re here” Danny reminded him, though the mischievous glint in his eye said he didn’t exactly hate the memory of it.

Jake stood up from the chair and joined Danny on the bed, marveling at the way Danny scooped him up and threw him down onto the crisp duvet. “I’m always nice to you” he playfully argued with a smile as Danny smoothed his hair away from his face.

“I know you are, I was only teasing” Danny replied quietly then quickly gave a kiss to the tip of Jake’s nose.

“See, you’re the mean one. How many times have you teased me?” Jake didn’t drop it, in fact he brought up more memories from over a year ago. “How long did you make me worry before you told me you felt the same way I did about you back?”

“That was a long time ago baby” he sighed. How they got their start was something he didn’t like to think about often.

Danny didn’t like being reminded that there was a time when he didn’t know how he felt about Jake. He knew there was something there, but feeling that way about another man, let alone your best friend's brother, was a scary notion at the time.

Danny knew now exactly how he felt about Jake. Absolutely head over heels, and he planned on spending this week letting him know exactly that.

“Come on, let’s go back downstairs, I want to go play in the snow”.

Danny blinked a few times, thinking he hadn’t heard his boyfriend right. “Did you just say you want to go play in the snow?”

Jake blushed and pushed Danny off him, standing up to fix his shirt and take off his jewelry so it wouldn’t get lost or damaged. “Yeah, when was the last time we got to play in the snow?”

Danny took a moment to think about it. It had to have been back at home in Michigan, probably when they were in highschool if not even before then. “Alright, let’s go”.

“This looks like it will fit you” Danny held up a purple polyester coat from the closet the rule book said they’d be in. He eyed the way its proportions looked like it would match Jake’s.

“Is that a girl's jacket?” Jake pouted, crossing his arms instead of taking it from Danny’s hands to try it on.

“Well it’s this, or you can try to squeeze into one of these kids jackets”. He pulled out a bright yellow one next and snickered at the way Jake snatched up the purple one and silently put it on. It fit really well actually.

Danny slipped into the navy blue one, it was a little big for him, but this was the best they were going to get with borrowed gear.

“Alright, ready?” He asked, making sure Jake had put on his gloves before they made the first step back out into the chilly air.

“Ready” Jake replied, unable to hide the childlike excitement he was feeling.

“What are you doing!” Danny hollered from where he huddled on the porch with a cup of hot cocoa trying to warm up a little. They had been outside for nearly 45 minutes now and although he was thoroughly enjoying the novelty of playing in the snow, he needed a break.

“I’m building a snowman!” Jake called back, not once worried about how cold he was getting even with his pink cheeks and frosted nose. “I used to build a snowman for our yard every year, just because Josh bet me one time I couldn’t make one taller than him”.

Danny chuckled as he took a slow sip, careful not to burn his tongue. “Well, did you?”

“Damn right I did” Jake grinned wide as he rolled the now giant ball of snow back and forth until it was nearly too big for him to pick up.

“Need some help?” Danny asked to sound supportive of Jake’s determination, but honestly he wasn’t planning on moving from his spot where he could watch in lovestruck leisure.

“You know what happens next after the snowman is up?” Jake questioned with his hands on his hips, standing back and admiring the faceless stacks of snow he’d stacked together. He didn’t bring anything out to decorate it with, but he’d shoved two twigs into its sides and that was good enough for him.

“What’s that?” Danny replied and Jake turned around with a mischievous grin. He wordlessly bent over and balled up a fist full of snow.

“You better not!” Danny yelled, already aware of what Jake was planning next. He didn’t heed his warning, instead hurled the tight packed snowball at the porch where Danny was standing.

Danny protected his drink; like the snow could do it any harm, it was too hot to drink right now he was just using the steam to warm up his face at this point.

The snowball landed at his feet, a warning shot. He turned to put the mug down on the small table between the chairs and as soon as Danny’s guard was down Jake pelted him with a ball of snow right between his shoulder blades.

He turned back around and Jake’s face lit up at the look of shock and utter betrayal on Danny’s.

“Oh, you’re in for it now Kiszka!”

“Come and give me all you’ve got Wagner!”

Danny’s arms flew up as he jumped off the porch and started running, bending down to scoop up some snow and scrunch it together between his padded palms. His first shot was a miss, but the second landed dead in the center of Jake’s chest.

“You have shit aim!” Jake called out as he tried to shield his body behind a tree. “Were you aiming for my head or my balls!”

“I was aiming for your heart!” Danny gave up on trying to gather snow and decided instead to just chase after Jake. He was faster than him anyways and it was time he proved it.

Jake caught on quickly and darted out from behind the tree, yelling and laughing as Danny chased after him. They were like a couple of big kids, finally free to yell and fight as much as they wanted without the scrutiny of others or an image to upkeep.

The thick snow was hard to run in and it slowed Jake down, or at least that was the only explanation he could believe when two long arms came circling around him and pulled him down.

He was thankful for the snow when they landed, otherwise the ground would have really hurt.

Danny landed on top of Jake, but he rolled off onto his back next to him, placing his hand on his heaving chest and waving the other in the air to call a truce.

Laying there on the ground Jake looked over and his heart clenched so hard he was afraid it might implode in on itself. Leaving nothing behind but an emptiness in his chest that could never be filled again.

Everything about Danny in this moment was perfect, from the way his dark curls stuck out from underneath his knit beanie, to the way his nose scrunched and one eye closed when flecks of snow drifted through the air.

Danny turned to meet his gaze, smiling so charmingly that Jake couldn’t stand it anymore. He lifted off the ground and threw a leg over Danny’s, successfully mounting him and attacking his lips with his own.

Danny’s were no longer warm, but he still tasted like hot chocolate. He placed his hands gently on Jake’s waist and if Jake didn’t already know that he would freeze within minutes he would have ripped that stupid purple jacket off just to feel Danny’s hands closer to him.

Once he’d had his fill, and Danny’s lips were nice and swollen, he pulled back and they locked eyes again.

Danny’s face was flush, whether from the cold or the sudden intense make out session Jake didn’t know, but his eyes gleamed with admiration. “Jake, I lo-” Danny’s words were cut short by Jake stuffing a fist full of snow into his mouth and jumping off him to run back onto the porch.

The two warmed up on the couch with the knit blanket from the chair upstairs wrapped around both their shoulders. Jake had said he didn’t want any hot chocolate, but he stole more than a few sips from Danny’s mug every now and then. Danny didn’t mind though, he’d give Jake the shirt off his back if he asked, not that it’d fit him.

They turned the TV that hung above the fireplace on but didn’t bother to flip through the channels. Instead they settled with watching whatever it was already on, which happened to be a channel running a marathon of Christmas rom-coms. The movie that was playing was already half-way over, but Jake didn’t care. This wasn’t really his taste in cinema but he was happy to be worry free, doing nothing but enjoying sitting with Danny who was actually pretty invested in the story. From what he was able to pay attention to, the whole premise of the movie was examining the different types of love.

“This movie is kind of stupid” Jake said, stealing another sip even though the liquid was luke-warm now and the chocolate powder had started to settle in a ring at the bottom.

“What? You don’t like this movie?” Danny replied, forgetting for a second who exactly he was talking to. “Well, my mom and sister love this movie. I've watched it with them a few times”.

“You’re just like those people,” Jake referred to the characters on the screen, “a romantic”. He tried to pinch Danny’s side but stopped when the squirming threatened to make the blanket fall off them.

“You are too, you just try to hide it, especially around your brothers”.

“I don’t care what my brothers think, but the team…” Jake sighed, they had this talk or a version of it many times but it never got any less frustrating. They could act like a couple at home or around family who all knew of their relationship status at this point, but in public or while working, they needed to be professionals. Not just for their sake, but for Sam, Josh, and everyone they employed too.

“I know” Danny set his mug down on the round table and slid his arm under the blanket over Jake’s shoulders to pull him close. “It’s hard right now, but eventually things will slow down and we will have more time together just like this”.

Jake knew Danny was right, but it still occasionally got to him. He’d fought so hard to get Danny, and though they had gone strong for over a year now, it sometimes felt like he still didn’t have him completely.

“You hungry? I’m going to go see what they have in the kitchen” Jake pulled Danny’s arm off of him and fixed the blanket across his lap so he wouldn’t get up and follow him.

“You know I’m always hungry” Danny smiled, grabbing the corner of the blanket and pulling it tighter around his frame.

Jake didn’t expect there to be much of anything in the fridge. Rentals usually only had the bare minimum for cooking, but he was surprised to see he had all the stuff to make some alfredo sauce and there was a package of dried spaghetti in the pantry.

It didn’t take long to cook, but the movie was already over when he returned to the living room with two plates in each hand.

Danny had fallen asleep sitting up but he slowly blinked his eyes open when he felt Jake sit back down next to him.

“You want to eat in here?” He questioned when Jake handed him his plate. Jake was usually the type to insist on eating at the dinner table, but he just shrugged and stabbed his fork into his food.

They ate in silence, Danny stealing a peak or two in Jake’s direction who was pretending to watch the next ridiculous movie on the TV.

When they were both done Jake took Danny’s plate back to the kitchen and started to rinse them off in the sink before loading them into the dishwasher for later.

“Everything ok?” Danny broke Jake’s concentration as he leaned against his elbows over the island. When Jake still didn’t say anything he pushed off and walked around over to where Jake was standing and wrapped his arms around him, resting his chin on his shoulder and simply watching as Jake mindlessly flipped through the rest of the pages in the rule book. “Tell me what’s bothering you baby”.

Jake didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want his sudden onslaught of anxious negative thoughts to ruin the mood on the first day of their little getaway. That’s why he’d left the living room when he did. He knew though that now Danny had picked up on his energy he wouldn’t back away until Jake told him.

“It’s just we will never be like the people in those movies. Sure the tour will end and we will get a break and it will be amazing to spend time with you, but there will always be another tour, another project, people watching our every move”.

It was Danny’s turn to be quiet, because he didn’t know what to say to console Jake. This had always been a sacrifice they knew they would have to make when they started this career. Whether they were dating their bandmate or not, trying to have a relationship while being a touring artist was a challenge. If anything Danny had more pain in his heart for what Jake was internally going through right now, because he was in the same shoes. He understood that their love for eachother came second, and their love for the music came first.

“Not even that, but the way things are going in the world right now. Who knows, maybe in ten years when we’re finally ready to get married, what rights we will still have”.

Danny’s eyes widened at Jake’s words. He’d never heard the word marriage come out of Jake’s mouth in this context and it made his heart skip a beat. “You want to get married?”

Jake backpedaled real quick, he hadn’t even realized what he’d said or how Danny could take it. He only meant to reflect on the fact that the future of relationships that shared the same nature as theirs would always lay in the hands of others.

“Whatever. It’s going to get dark soon. I’m going to go chop some wood around back for the fire”. Doing something with his hands would help put his thoughts to ease, it always did.

“Want me to come help?” Danny backed away, thinking it better to just ask Jake if he needed space or not right now would be best.

“I’m from Michigan, I think I can chop wood on my own”.

He found an ax and got to chopping, focusing on his form and the feeling of his shoulders rounding before listening for the sound of the wood splitting in half. In fact, he was so focused he hadn’t even heard Danny come outside.

“Hey! Why don’t you have your jacket on?” He dropped the ax next to the stump he’d been working at and yelled at Danny who was walking briskly towards him with his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“I just came to steal a few of these” his steps turned into a little jog as he realized just how cold it was even with his sweater on. He picked up a few of the logs Jake had cut and paused to press a quick shivering kiss to Jake’s cold lips before turning and running back. “Hurry up! I’ve got a surprise for you!”

Jake stacked as many of the leftover pieces as he could into his arms and carried them closer to the door for easy access, wondering the whole time what it was Danny was up to.

The first thing he saw when approaching the porch doors was the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree casting a bright glow against glass.

The sun had gone completely down while he was in the back getting his frustrations out, and he was tired and cold now.

The heat from the fire Danny had already built hit him as soon as he slid the door open. He hung his purple jacket back up on the coat rack by the door behind the couch, searching the small room for Danny.

He didn’t find his boyfriend, but he did find that Danny had come across quite a few candles, and he had them lit in various dark corners around the room so that the entire cabin was flickering and cozy in the warm fire paired with the white lights on the Christmas tree.

“Danny?” He called out, stepping a few feet to the left to check and see if he was in the kitchen. It was empty, but he could see now that on the floor in front of the couch Danny had also scattered a few pedals from the roses on the counter. What a romantic he really was.

“Sit down” Danny finally revealed himself as he started down the stairs, clearly holding something behind his back.

Jake moved around and sat back down on the couch where he had been earlier, before his thoughts and emotions got the best of him.

“I was going to give this to you tomorrow morning, but I think now is better” Danny crouched in front of Jake, placing one hand on his knee, the other still hidden from sight.

“Danny-” Jake began, his voice getting caught in his throat until he cleared it and tried again, “what are you doing?”

“Don’t worry baby, it’s not what you think it is” Danny assured him, but then stopped to think about it for a second, “well, kind of… just let me say something really quick ok?”

Jake nodded his head and stared intently at Danny as he searched for the words he meant to say when he got the idea to do all of this.

“I was thinking about what you said earlier, and you’re right, but you know I don’t really care what other people think about us or our relationship. All that matters to me is you and making you happy any way that I can. It’s not a ring, but I got this for you thinking that it would serve as a promise from me to you. A promise that that I will always be there for you, to shield you and protect you, and that we are bound together”.

Danny showed that he had a small black box and placed it in Jake’s hands for him to open.

Despite the heat from the fire Jake felt like his fingers were still numb when he pulled the top off the box and revealed what was inside. A coin set in a halo of silver and hung on a braided chain necklace.

“It’s not a real Atocha coin, I had it made by this badass jeweler back home, but this one is special”. Danny picked the delicate looking piece up and turned it around in his fingers, “If you look closely she hid our initials in the design”.

Jake took the coin from Danny and brought it closer to his face, his eyes scouring the tiny detailed engravings until he found them. A DW and JK carved right there, not in plain sight, but now that he’d found them it was all his eyes could see.

“So, I know this may sound silly,” Danny started again after he was sure Jake had found the initials, “but Jacob Thomas Kiszka I gave you my promise, do you accept?”

“I-” there were no words that would explain how Jake felt at that moment. So instead he gently placed the necklace back into the box and set it down at his side before grabbing Danny by the back of his neck and pulling him into a passionate kiss.

“Daniel Robert Wagner, I promise that I will always be there for you, and that I will never give up on us no matter how hard the road gets. I promise that I love you and have always loved you. I do accept and I hope you do too”.

“I do” a couple of runaway tears fell down Danny’s cheek, it wasn’t often that he cried, but when he did it was always bittersweet. Jake kissed his tears away and Danny smiled at the feeling of Jake’s beautiful lips against his cheeks and eyelashes. “I love you too”.

Jake propped the box up open so he could see his promise when he looked over at the round table as Danny retreated back upstairs to collect the duvet and pillows from the bed.

They spread it all out in front of the fireplace before peeling each other's clothes off between sharing needy kisses.

“So, are we secretly married now?” Danny joked after they had both sunk to their knees on the floor. He held Jake against his torso and scattered kisses across his bare shoulder.

“Only if this can be our secret honeymoon” Jake replied as he pushed Danny’s boxers down over the swell of his ass.

“That sounds heavenly to me” Danny grinned, reaching his hand between their bodies and stroking Jake a few times causing him to shiver and tilt his head back with a moan. “How do you want it baby? You want me on my back for you?”

Jake nodded and pushed Danny down, mounting him like he did before when they had fallen to the ground outside. “I need to feel you though. I need you to fill me up”.

“Really?” It wasn’t often that they switched roles anymore. Jake liked to take charge in the bedroom and Danny never once had a complaint, but they weren’t in the bedroom. No, they were on the floor of a cabin at the top of a distant mountain. In a pile of blankets and pillows, their bare skin baking in the radiating heat of the fireplace. “Lift your hips up for me then”.

Jake was eager to obey. Usually he was the one giving commands, but tonight all he wanted was to let Danny take care of him in a way he knew only Danny could. Danny spit into his hand and brought it between their bodies again, only this time he slipped past Jake’s erection and to his entrance.

Once the first finger was all the way in he was sighing and groaning as he rocked back against it, his body already begging for more.

“So impatient tonight aren’t we baby?” Danny smirked as he lined up his second finger and pushed inside.

Jake bit down on his lip to silence his cry, his hands tightening their grip on Danny’s chest to show him he still had some sort of leverage.

Just then Jake pulled off, letting Danny’s fingers slip out of him, he was ready.

“Wait,” Danny asked Jake to hold on when he felt him shifting into position. He ruffled the blanket around, pulling the corner back to reveal he’d plucked their bottle of lube from Jake’s bag and brought it down with the bedding “here”.

“Thinking ahead were you?” Jake chuckled but graciously took the bottle and coated Danny up, letting his hand linger on him, getting in a few good twisted strokes before wiping the leftover on his own thigh.

“I’m always looking out for you Jake” he replied, fighting off a groan that made its way out by contorting his eyebrows into a knot.

Jake braced one hand onto the pillow beside the man below him and leaned closer, their chests pressing together as he lined Danny up. “I know you are” he whispered with a kiss to Danny’s ear then slowly pushed his hips back against him.

Danny gasped and threaded his arms underneath Jake’s so he could run his hands up his back, feeling the way the exposure to the fire left it so hot to the touch.

Jake bit down on his lip and buried his face in the crook of Danny’s neck to hide the way his face pinched at the pressure. He didn’t want his slight fleeting discomfort to diminish any of the pure bliss he knew Danny was feeling right now.

Three rough fingers circled around Jake’s upper back and gathered the hair that hung around his neck, guiding it over his shoulders to give Danny a spot to kiss and suck on while Jake adjusted to his size.

“You’re doing so good baby. Do you feel me?” Danny purred, his sweet praises and gentle touches paired with the proximity to the fire causing Jake’s brain to short circuit for a moment.

His body was tense and he figured he probably should have let Danny take more time to prep him, but Danny was right, he was just so impatient to feel connected.

Then he lifted his head from its hiding place and looked forward. Giving himself one last glance at the necklace hanging in its box above them and remembered everything Danny had said it signified. His body melted, finally resting completely against Danny without any pain or worry left.

“There you go” Danny felt Jake physically relax and wrapped his arms around him once more as he began to work slow deep thrusts, never once letting them loose their connection.

Jake’s own cock was throbbing, trapped between their bodies getting only some relief by the way Danny’s abdomen pressed against him with every rock upward.

This was euphoria, laying in a puddle as hot as the sweet liquid they shared earlier against Danny’s chest while he held him tight and fucked him slowly, but he wanted more. So he lifted himself back up, Danny’s hands sliding back down to his hips and squeezing as Jake sat up and used the muscles in his thighs to begin bouncing up and down.

Danny was fixed on Jake’s form above him, marveling at the shadows his features cast as they danced across his face with the flickering light of the cozy room.

No more words were said, but the room was all but silent. Moans and whines, the crackling of the fire as it slowly died down with their work, and the wordless reminder of their promises to each other as they watched the physical reflection of their love bloom between their bodies.

Danny removed one hand from its firm grip on Jake’s hips where he was guiding them against him and wrapped it around Jake’s pretty cock.

Jake clenched all his muscles and groaned something painful, nearly stopping the rapid motion he’d worked up to. “No, if you do that too I’ll-” he wasn’t as used to this position as Danny was, so the added stimulation of both pleasure points at once was sure to be too much for him.

“What is it baby? You don’t want to cum?” Danny asked sweetly, no teasing in his tone at all, just concern and love for this beautiful being that graced him with his affection.

Jake shook his head frantically, stands of his hair that had stuck to the sweat on his face falling free. “No, it’s not that”.

Danny cocked an eyebrow, squeezing his fist tighter over the achingly hard flesh which resulted in another loud choked cry from Jake. “You don’t want to finish yet?” He tried his question again, watching the way Jake’s eyes squeezed shut and his expression twisted into concentration as he resumed his speed again.

Jake opened one eye, jaw falling slack as the knot was beginning to tie itself around his insides and Danny then knew what he was holding out for. “Together?”

Jake nodded this time, he was past the point of being able to speak, just waiting for Danny to say the words so he could finally let go.

“Don’t worry, I’m there. I’ve been there. You just give it to me when you��re ready”.

The sudden realization that Danny had been holding back just as much as he had was the tipping point for his sanity. Danny had stopped stroking him but that didn’t matter. Hot streaks burst across his stomach as Jake couldn’t keep it in any longer.

It was the ‘O’ face that did it for Danny. He was used to seeing stars as Jake gave him earth shaking climaxes, or his face would be buried in the sheets with his back aching from holding its arch for so long, but this time he had a perfect view as Jake reached the peak of his orgasm and it was so sensual that Danny couldn’t help but finish as well.

“Want to go for a drive after breakfast? Figure out where that general store is that was in the rule book?” Danny asked as he rubbed soft circles into Jake’s back who had collapsed on top of him and hadn’t moved a muscle since. It was perfect.

“Anything you want” Jake replied, eyes wandering around the cabin to take it all in so that he’d remember this place in as much detail as possible when he thought back on tonight. Something caught his eye and he finally lifted his head from Danny’s chest to get a better look out the windows. “It’s snowing”.

Danny followed his gaze and gave a few breathy chuckles that shook Jake. “It tends to do that in the mountains” he jested and leaned forward to steal a kiss against Jake’s cheek. “Do you want to go back upstairs and get cleaned up or stay down here tonight?”

Jake settled back against Danny, this time turning his face towards the fire that was all but burned out, just like him. “I want to stay here” he replied as Danny got the memo and tossed the blanket over their tangled bodies. “Besides we will be getting messy again in the morning”.

“Is that so?” Danny laughed again and Jake smiled, he would never get used to how much he loved that sound especially from this proximity. “Good night Jake, sleep well”

“Good night Danny”.

Danny woke up with the sun shining through the many windows, only that wasn’t ultimately what had pulled him from his dreamland. It was the pouty pink lips wrapped around his morning wood that did the trick.

“Baby” he groaned in his raspy morning voice and threaded his fingers through the head of slightly knotted tousled hair.

Jake’s eyes gave him the ‘good morning’ that his mouth couldn’t as he really started to suck Danny off now that he was awake.

It didn’t take long for Danny to get the fuzzy feeling in his toes and head as he came with a sigh of profanities paired with his lover's name.

When Jake pulled off with a still sleepy but proud smile Danny motioned for him to get up and sit on the couch before shuffling on his knees to be in front of him.

Danny played with Jake a little first, cupping his balls in his palm as he licked around the tip. Jake squeezed the cushions to keep himself from bucking up when Danny did finally take him in.

Once Jake had finished too he finally let himself touch Danny. He leaned over and pulled Danny into a sloppy kiss, the taste of each other mixing with their saliva.

“I’m going to go get your present now” Jake said when he pulled away.

“You’re telling me that wasn't it? Or last night?”

“Course not” Jake chuckled, pointing at the mess of pillows and blankets still on the floor to silently tell Danny to ‘stay’ as he ran upstairs.

When he came back he had a small green paper bag topped with red and white striped tissue paper sticking out the top. “It’s not as thoughtful as the necklace, but here you go”.

He handed Danny the gift which he happily took and brought to his lap as he dipped his hand past the paper and pulled out a pair of brand new leather golfing gloves.

“You said you needed a new pair, so I got you some. I hope you like them”. Jake was avoiding eye contact, but still wanted to watch Danny open his present even if it always made him feel shy and awkward.

The leather was soft in his hands as he turned the gloves over and examined them, honestly so surprised. “I said that months ago, in a passing comment somewhere out west between shows”. Danny remembered the conversation they had been having on the tour bus when he mentioned needing new gloves, he just didn’t expect Jake to have picked up on it and gone out to buy him some. “Thank you so much!”

Jake crawled back over to him on the floor, Danny waiting to embrace him with a million kisses.

“Merry Christmas, I love you”.

Just before Jake could reciprocate he was interrupted by a phone ringing.

“That isn’t dead yet? I didn’t even charge it last night” Danny looked around the room, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from.

“I think it’s mine” Jake replied.

Sure enough the last place he remembered having it, over on the counter by the vase, his cell was buzzing violently.

He attempted to move to stand up, but Danny wrapped his arms around him to keep him put in his lap.

“It could be mom” Jake said. He couldn’t remember the last time his mom hadn’t called him on Christmas morning no matter where in the world he was.

Danny let him go and he ran over to the phone before it could go to voicemail, not even checking who it was before answering.

“Jake! Where the hell have you been?!” Josh hollered from the other end before he could hear him turn to yell at someone, most likely Sam, I got Jake to answer!

“Hey Josh, I’m alright, just decided to get away for a bit.

“Get away for a bit? Jesus Jake you had us all scared you were drunk facedown in a snowbank somewhere! Is Danny with you? Sam hasn’t been able to get a hold of him either”.

Jake looked over at Danny who was still sitting on the floor, trying to listen in on the conversation as best he could.

“Hold on a sec” Jake walked back over to their little lovers nest and held the phone up, making sure they were both decent enough before hitting the FaceTime button. It rang for a few seconds before Josh and Sams faces popped up with shared confused looks.

At the same time they both realized what was happening and groaned in unison at the image of Jake and Danny naked, save for the gray fluffy cable knit blanket wrapped around their waists.

“Gross! My eyes!” Sam yelled, shielding them with one hand and slapping Josh with the other who held the phone and shook his head with fake disapproval.

“As you can see, we’re together and we’re fine, perfect even” he and Danny laughed and Josh rolled his eyes. “Phones about to die, tell mom we said we love her! See you guys after the new year!”

Just then Jake’s phone really did die, the screen turning black in place of his scarred brothers.

“Wait, I thought our flight home was on the thirtieth?”

Jake tossed his now useless phone over to the side and shrugged. “They don’t need to know that”.

“Now where were we?” He placed his hands against both Danny’s cheeks and smiled innocently. “Oh yeah, Merry Christmas”.

[ao3komorii]

The Silver Path (Spirit Blossom Thresh/Reader)

It is finally here! Just a note for people who played the spirit blossom event, I’ve decided to make Thresh more subdued/shy than he was in that event. Sort of a “what if instead of holding a grudge against Ahri after their conflict, he just got sad.” Nevertheless, hope you enjoy! Just as a note, there is smut at the end :)

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Checking one final time that you hadn’t forgotten anything, you folded the cloth over the carefully-packed items before picking up the woven basket. You could not risk forgetting even one tribute, as angering even one spirit would spell doom for the village; your grandmother had stressed that very severely when she had trained you. Leaving your home, you couldn’t help but feel nervous, even if this wasn’t the first time that you had made this trip.

You had been the village’s spirit guardian for six months now, ever since your grandmother had passed away. You hadn’t felt ready when the role had been passed to you, but you had no choice. It was probably for the better that you had no choice but to step into the role, since you doubted that you would ever feel truly ready for the responsibility that was now yours.

Mount Targon was tall, the tallest mountain in Runeterra by far, and also the most treacherous. Travelers came from places near and far to ascend to the peak, having heard of the mystic mountain that promised to open the heavens before any mortal that successfully made it to the top.

Many tried, and many failed, their bodies destined to never leave the mountain where their bodies had given out. The upper reaches of the mountain were unlivable, and nearly unclimbable, fraught with winds and storms and plagued by avalanches. The display of cosmic radiance offered by the peak would not be easily attained, and yet people would never stop trying.

Despite living far below the mountain’s peak in a small valley to the south, you were still not safe from its wrath. You had never experienced it yourself, but long ago, even the lower parts of the mountain had been uninhabitable. The area had been plagued by rockslides and inhabited by vicious animals, but the patience and determination of your ancestors had won out in the end.

It had all started when an ancestor of yours had climbed the mountain path in search of a way to make the land livable, but had instead found a door. On the other side of the door, they had discovered a passage to the world of spirits, and had bowed low, begging for their protection. In exchange, the spirits asked for a tithe to be paid every month when the moon was at its highest in the sky.

And since then, once a month a representative of the village would walk the spirit path to bring each spirit a gift, and in turn, your village would be protected. The responsibility had been passed down through your family, and as you were the last one of your family left after your grandmother had died, the task now fell to you.

There were ten spirits in all, and each had their own tastes. Your grandmother would never tell you what she brought them, insisting that you would have to develop your own relationship with the spirits by learning their preferences on your own. You had been terrified the first time you had walked the spirit path, leaving small trinkets you had knitted for the spirits, but to your great relief, no boulders or storms had struck your village in the days after. When you had returned the next month, some spirits had taken your gifts, and some had not, so you knew to bring a different gift to those pedestals the next month.

While you had never seen the spirits, you began to get a sense of what they liked; the spirit of the snake altar liked jewels and other shiny objects, the mushroom altar spirit liked small toys, and the antler altar spirit liked vegetables. Most of the spirits would accept whatever you brought, but a select few hadn’t accepted any yet, which had been a frustrating experience for you. But they hadn’t revoked their protection, so you assumed that they were willing to be patient with you until you presented them with something they liked.

Keeping your head down as you passed by the other residents of the village, you made your way to the base of the mountain. As you ascended the gentle incline, you went over the all-important rules in your head; enter no earlier than ten at night, and leave no later than midnight. The spirit gate was only open for two hours each month, and if you didn’t leave in time, you would be trapped in the spirit world for a month until the gate reopened. It had only happened a few times in the long history of your people’s time here, but nobody who had gotten stuck in the spirit realm had ever returned, which was more than enough of a deterrent for you.

You paused as you approached the spirit gate; you were a few minutes early, as was your usual routine, so now there was nothing to do but wait for the gate to open itself up to you. You could only hope that at least one of your previously-rejected gifts had been accepted this time, but the spirits could be finicky.

As you stared at the metal archway that made up the gate to the spirit world, the open space of the archway began to glow. The glow got more and more solid, and soon you were standing in front of a swirling door; pinks, blues and purples flowed around each other, making the doorway almost look like the surface of a mystical lake. As you stepped into the magical doorway, you reminded yourself again of the last rule, be out by midnight. You had done this before, you could do it again.

As always, you found yourself standing at the start of a path made of silver light. You stared out at the colorful forest that now surrounded you, the silver path winding around the cherry blossom trees as it led towards the shrines of the spirits. As you began to walk forward, basket of tokens in hand, you kept your focus on the path ahead.

Your grandmother had stressed that you were never to leave the path, no matter the circumstance. The path kept you on track, and more importantly, unseen.

The spirits were not the only ones to inhabit this world; while this was a place for spirits, it was also inhabited by azakana, the race of demon spirits that fed on human suffering. You had never seen the spirit deities, but you had on occasion caught sight of dark shapes moving around the trees, the shadows alone sending shivers along your skin.

While you were on the path, they could not see you, and they could not touch you. You had heard too many stories about azakana as a child from your grandmother; stories of azakana ripping people apart, swallowing them whole… you had heard more than enough to do everything you could to avoid contact with the vicious creatures. Part of you wondered if that was what had happened to the spirit guardians who never returned, but you tried not to dwell on it. You could think about the dangers of the azakana when you were safely back in your village.

Trying to calm your mind, you took the opportunity to admire the scenery as you walked along the path. Even as dark as it was, the light pink trees were undeniably beautiful, the petals that fell around the path creating a scene that looked straight out of a painting.

The forest was dense with trees, but your path remained clear of even petals or dirt, the silver under your feet glowing with celestial light. You took notice of small animals as they roamed the forest, your attention focussing in on an unnaturally-colored fox as it walked along the thick root of a tree before disappearing from sight. While you couldn’t help but want to observe the unique landscape of the spirit realm, you did not stop walking. Your time here was finite, and you knew that you could not afford to get caught up in the beauty of this place, not unless you wanted this forest to be your tomb come midnight if you did not leave on time.

As the trees began to thin out, you caught sight of the short wooden bridge that would take you across the river and to the first of the spirit temples. You approached the shrine to find it empty, as it always was, absent of even the small animals that roamed the forest.

You had been by here six times before, long enough for you to feel at least somewhat comfortable navigating your way around. The silver path led you right up to a purple pedestal decorated with a vibrant snake made of gems that were deeply embedded in the stone of the podium. Coming to a stop at last, you opened up your basket with a small smile; at least the snake spirit was easy to choose gifts for.

Reaching into the basket, you pulled out a small brooch in the shape of a tied ribbon. It was made of pure silver and dotted with brightly-shining gems. You had spent a while selecting it, so you hoped that the spirit would accept it. The bracelet you had left last time had been taken, which gave you a nice burst of confidence. You could only hope that the rest of your gifts from last month had been accepted as well.

Placing the brooch in the center of the pedestal, right on top of the jeweled snake’s body, you closed the basket, turning to continue on the path. You had nine more shrines to visit after all, and a restrictive window of time.

If you remembered correctly, the next shrine was the one with twin swords carved into its pedestal. One of the tough ones. Not one of the gifts you had left there had been accepted. With no other option, you were left to keep guessing, bringing a different thing each time in hopes it would be accepted.

As you approached the simple stone pedestal, you were surprised to see it empty. Your excitement quickening your steps, you hurriedly approached the temple, heart soaring as you looked down at the twin blades carved into the ancient-looking stone.

You stared at the simple carving, willing yourself to remember what it was you had brought last time. After a moment of thought, you recalled placing a simple wooden flute on the pedestal, more out of desperation than anything. You weren’t sure what about the flute the spirit was interested in, but you were relieved that one of the more picky spirits had accepted one of your gifts at last.

Reaching into your basket, you pulled out a delicately-carved wooden bird. Hopefully the fussy spirit would like the bird, but even if you came back next month to a rejection, you knew now that the spirit had an interest in musical instruments. You were starting to see what your grandmother had meant when she had said you would come to get an understanding of each spirit’s personality, even if you still had yet to have all of the spirits accept a gift from you.

After placing the wooden bird on the pedestal, you bid farewell to the shrine, walking towards the slender purple trees that denoted the next spirit’s domain. This spirit had the most unusual symbol – a horned mask that was reminiscent of a demon. You had no idea what the spirits actually looked like, but had no desire to meet the spirit of this shrine, afraid that their symbol denoted a demonic personality as well.

It didn’t help that the forest that led to his shrine was impossibly dark and dense. Unlike the domains of the other spirits, you had never seen an animal in this forest, just dark trees that loomed over you with branches like forked lightning, blocking much of the already-dark sky overhead.

Despite the scary appearance of this spirit’s domain, they had accepted all of the gifts that you had brought so far. As scary as this place was, you were relieved that you likely didn’t have to worry about this particular spirit taking their wrath out on you or your people for a lack of gifts they deemed acceptable.

After a few minutes of walking, the darkly-colored temple of the demon mask spirit finally began to show through the trees. You continued to walk towards the temple, eyes focussed on the small building’s sloping roof, when you were stopped by a tug on your long ceremonial skirt.

Turning back, you found one side of your skirt caught on a thorned branch that ran along the ground. With an annoyed sigh, you pulled gently at your skirt, wanting to avoid ripping your skirt in the process of disengaging yourself from the vine.

You felt annoyance rise up in you when your gentle tugs did nothing to free you, your skirt still firmly ensnared by the thorns. You sighed; you really didn’t have time for this, not with how many more temples you still had to visit.

Putting down your basket, you took hold of your skirt with both hands and gave it a harsh tug, resolving to just repair the skirt later if it ripped. When one hard pull failed to free you, you began to yank repeatedly at the fabric, knowing that it would be a bad idea to reach your hand outside of the path to grab the vine itself.

After at least a minute of pulling on your skirt, you were getting desperate. The skirt’s material was too tough to rip easily, and you didn’t have a knife on you to tear it with. The only weapon you had on you was a small stone ball wrapped in a prayer scroll, an old weapon used to scare off azakana that your grandmother had said you must always have on you while in the spirit realm. You had thought it was silly, but she had insisted, despite never encountering an azakana herself even though she had been the spirit guardian for so much of her life.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, you resolved to give it one last try, and then you would have to just take off the skirt. As unhappy as you would be to do the rest of the walk with just underwear and shoes on your lower half, getting stuck in this place would be infinitely worse.

Both hands gripping onto your skirt, you took a deep breath as you braced yourself, and then pulled hard. Unlike the past few minutes, this time your skirt was dislodged immediately, as if it had never been stuck in the first place.

You had expected a fight of it, and had yanked on your skirt so hard that it coming free easily threw you entirely off balance. The long skirt did you no favors as you stumbled on it, trying to right your balance, but the fabric won out in the end as you stumbled back into your forgotten basket, causing you to trip and fall backwards with a surprised yell.

You closed your eyes reflexively as you fell backwards, your back immediately uncomfortable as you fell back against what felt like a large tree root. But the stinging of your back was nothing compared to the explosion of sound and sight you experienced as you opened your eyes.

The spirit realm had always been silent and still, but now it was anything but. The previously-quiet skies were now filled with the most horrifying creatures you had ever seen, demonlike bodies twisting in the skies as they let out inhuman screeches and growls. The trees too were infested by many-limbed azakana, their claws digging into the bark of the trees. Eyes wide with terror, you were confused as to why this was happening all of a sudden… at least until your eyes focussed in on the silver path just ahead of you.

You shot up with a gasp. You had fallen off the path, broken one of the only rules your grandmother had set for you, and now you were seeing why it was so important.

You had to get back there before any of them saw you. If you attracted the attention of even one of these demons, you were dead for sure.

Your skirt still tripping you up, you scrambled forward on your hands and knees, desperate to get yourself the few feet it would take to get back onto the silver path. Your fear began to morph into relief as your hand reached the path, followed by the rest of your upper body. You quickly made to crawl the rest of the way back onto the path, glad to have the momentary terror behind you, when you were startled by a painfully tight grip on your ankle.

Before you could react, you were yanked backwards, your attempts at gripping onto the ground futile as you were suddenly thrown back in the air. You landed harshly on the ground, the wind knocked out of you, whole body burning with pain.

Sitting up with a groan, you flattened your back against a tree in fear as you took in the approaching form of the most horrifying creature you had ever seen.

It had the body of a worm, but it was at least fifty feet long and twice your width. It loomed over you, its giant body writhing with excitement that was plain on its face. While its body was that of a worm, it had the face of a demon. Wide yellow eyes, pupilless and oversized for its face stared you down, its jaws open wide, teeth as long as your fingers gleaming even in the dark. Its face was blood red, nose two slits on its face while several horns protruded from the crown of its head.

Looking around, you realized that you had nowhere to run. With a tree at your back and this thing’s massive body blocking the way back to the path, you were trapped. Eyes darting around, you tried to find something, anything that would help you, but all you could see were the dark trees; that, and the azakana around you had all stopped their screeching to stare hungrily at the scene before them.

As you were desperately pondering a way out of this situation, the giant worm began to close in on you, eager to claim its prey. As you squirmed against the tree, a small thump against your thigh reminded you of the protection stone you had sitting in your skirt’s pocket. If you threw it at the creature, it could give you enough time to escape back to the path and get yourself out of this nightmare.

You reached quickly into your pocket, but the movement seemed to spurn the azakana into action as well as it quickly darted towards you. You managed to throw the stone, but cried out in pain as one of the demon’s horns impaled your shoulder at the same time.

Upon hitting the creature, the stone broke apart into silver smoke that quickly filled the area. The azakana jerked back with a shriek as soon as the smoke hit it, fleeing as fast as it could. Its cries of agony were not the only ones to pierce the air; the smoke quickly spread around the forest, causing the rest of the azakana to flee when it came near them. Soon their cries faded and you were left alone and bleeding, vision obscured by the thick smoke.

You clutched your shoulder, your fingers becoming quickly soaked by your own blood as you gritted your teeth from the pain. You braced yourself against the tree, slowly standing up, keeping a hand pressed to your still-bleeding wound. You desperately tried to seek out the path with your eyes, but you were feeling increasingly dizzy the more blood you lost.

Your vision was growing shakier by the second as you pushed yourself off the tree, stumbling in what you believed to be the direction of the path. Every step felt like a mile as you slowly shuffled forward, but you forced your body onward; in your current state, you knew that you were dead if you stopped moving. Your best bet would be to turn back and leave the way you had come in. You would have to bring the other spirits two gifts next time to make up for the empty pedestals they would find tomorrow and hope they would not take their anger at your failure out on your village.

It was hard to pick out a silver path in the midst of the silver fog, but you nearly cried with relief when you spotted the familiar otherworldly silver light peeking through the smoke. You dragged yourself the last bit of the way, strength failing you, and collapsed as soon as you were back in the safety of the path again.

You whimpered, clutching your shoulder as you tried to ignore the searing pain. Looking down, you found your formerly-white shirt red with blood, the material sticking uncomfortably to your skin. You were finding it hard to concentrate on anything other than the pain, never having dealt with a wound this extreme before.

Letting out a sob as the strain it caused your wound, you forced yourself to your feet again. It was hard to see with all the smoke in your way, but you had to keep moving or you would bleed out long before the azakana would get another shot at you.

Your vision was now so blurry that you felt like you were dreaming, but you pressed onward, following the light of the silver path. If you hurried, you could make it back in time to find a healer, because you knew that you would die without help.

It felt like you had been walking for an hour when the fog that surrounded you had finally cleared, but when it did, you felt like crying. Instead of the two-bladed spirit’s temple, you found yourself staring at the familiar temple of the demon mask spirit. You took a few more stunned steps before collapsing beside the spirit’s pedestal. You had gone the wrong way.

You closed your eyes, not wanting to look at the temple that signalled your own incompetence, or at your blood staining the grass beneath you. This was it; your spirit had become as broken as your body, leaving you with no more strength to move or even open your eyes. You would die here, so far from home and in incredible pain. You could only hope as your consciousness drifted away that you had not doomed your village as well.

 You woke up feeling slightly cold, as if your window had been left open on a chilly night. You kept your eyes closed for another minute, waiting for the aching in your head to fade, finally opening them when your head had stopped pounding.

You weren’t dead, but you didn’t know where you were. The room that you now found yourself in was large, but lacking any furniture other than the futon bed you were laying in. The wall was patterned with a mountain scene that had you transfixed, at least until you realized that you were able to move your shoulder without any pain.

Hurriedly sitting up, you turned to look at your shoulder, seeing a large hole in your shirt, but no gaping wound. The blood that had soaked your clothes was now dry, the only evidence that you had bled at all the stains that covered your clothing. You touched the area where the wound had been, still unable to believe that it had vanished, before you remembered the events that had led up to the wound being inflicted on you.

Had someone found you and brought you back to the village? You weren’t in your home, you knew that much for sure. You had never seen these walls before, not a single note of recognition coming to you as you got up from the futon and began to look around the room.

Seeing no clues, you decided to leave the room. If someone had rescued you, then you needed to thank them. And as much as you didn’t want to, you had to explain what had happened to the village elders. This had been your mistake, and you couldn’t hide from it, not when it concerned the safety of the village.

Leaving the room, you found yourself in an empty hallway. The room that you had been in was the last one in the hallway, so there was only one direction for you to go. You passed a few doors on your way down the hall, but they were all closed, and you didn’t want to intrude on your rescuer’s privacy after they had rescued you from certain death, so you left them be.

“Hello?” you called out when you turned from the hallway into a small entrance room, slightly disappointed to find it empty as well. Where was the owner of the home?

At least this room was less barren, so you took the time to wander around the room and take a look at things while you gave the person some time to return before you headed home.

While there was no furniture in this room either, your gaze was drawn to the lanterns that were hung from the ceiling of the room. They were hung a bit too high for you to reach, so you had to settle for staring at one from below. Even with the height difference, you could tell that they had an odd glow to them that you couldn’t place. You had never seen a lantern glow like that before, and had to avert your eyes when an unsettling feeling that you were having a hard time placing began to creep up on you.

As you turned to look at the doors ahead of you, the feeling began to intensify. Your wound disappearing, the mysterious glow of the lanterns, and the owner of the home’s absence… it was all pushing you rapidly towards a conclusion that you didn’t want to accept.

Slowly, you walked towards the doors, knowing that you would have to open them and either confirm or deny your sudden suspicions. It was hard to believe that someone from your village had come into the spirit world to save you, but you wanted to believe that it was the truth. But each step you took towards the door eroded your confidence more and more, but you had to know.

The door felt cold against your palm, unease swirling in your chest as you stared at the wooden door, knowing you needed to open it, but afraid to know the truth. Cursing your own cowardice, you began to push the door open before you could convince yourself not to, watching as the small sliver of outside grew as you opened the door wide enough for you to slip out of it.

Your hopes were dashed immediately. There was no mistaking the purple of the trees for your small village, nor the unnaturally clean river that flowed around the temple you stood outside of. It was equally as unbelievable as being rescued by one of the villagers; who could have rescued you from certain death in this place? You had never seen a soul here besides the azakana and the small animals that roamed the forests, and neither one of them likely had the desire or means to save your life.

Your chest felt tight as the possibilities swam in your head. Were you dead? You didn’t feel dead, but how else could you have woken up in the spirit realm, your deep wound completely gone?

Now that you knew you were still in the spirit world, you couldn’t just go back into the temple and pretend that everything was alright. But what were you supposed to do? The sun was out, so it was clearly daytime, so there was little chance of the path still being here, not unless your grandmother had lied to you.

It was weird looking out at the spirit world in the daytime; you had only ever seen this place at midnight hours, and found yourself transfixed by the beauty of this world in the daytime as well. The purple trees gleamed in the sunlight, swaying gently with the morning breeze. The whole scene would have been calming, if it weren’t for the fact that no human was ever supposed to see it.

You knew that the path home would not be open for a whole month, and while the thought was depressing, you couldn’t just give up. Just because nobody who had gotten trapped here had ever returned didn’t mean that there was no other way back. You couldn’t fool yourself into being optimistic, but you also weren’t willing to roll over and die without trying to find a way out of here.

Reluctantly, you made your way down the steps, heading towards the pedestal that stood in front of the temple. The carved demonic mask in the stone of the pedestal stared up at you, just as you thought it would. You knew that those distinctive purple trees were only in the demon mask spirit’s territory, but part of you refused to believe that was where you were until you gazed down at the pedestal that could not have belonged to anyone else.

You hung your head as you tried to make sense of what had happened to you. All signs pointed towards someone or something here saving you, but you couldn’t understand why a spirit would save you. From all you knew of them, the spirits did not act unless there was a benefit for them. You let out a sigh, tracing the pedestal carving with your fingers as you pondered your next move.

“Are you alright, little human?”

The deep voice directly behind you combined with a clawed hand on your shoulder startled you back into a hard chest with a gasp. Spinning around so quickly you nearly gave yourself whiplash, you came face to face with the spirit you had been the most afraid of, the one wearing a golden mask over his face identical to the one carved into the face of the pedestal.

“You… you…” you stammered, backing away from the figure.

You shivered with fear, wrapping your arms around yourself as you continued to back away from the spirit, not taking your eyes off of his intimidatingly large figure.

He was tall, taller than all of the men in your village, but it wasn’t his height that quickened your steps backward. His skin was bright purple, the ridges of his defined chest and abdomen a vibrant fuchsia. You could see none of his face, as it was covered by a golden mask with white slits for eyes and sharp golden teeth. Though now that you thought about it, the mask could <i>be</i> his face; you had never seen a spirit before, so you had no idea what they normally looked like.

His outfit consisted of a short vest and hakama pants, a thick silver braided cord laced through a gold masklike buckle tied around his waist like a belt. Other than two beaded necklaces around his neck, he wore no other accessories. His wild silver hair was tied back, but hung behind him in spikes, two large horns jutting out of his forehead. Overall, he made for a very intimidating figure, each step he took towards you prompting you to take one back.

“I’m sorry for being in your domain,” you fearfully apologized, staring at his mask. “I’ll leave now so you–”

“Stop!” he demanded, the authority in his voice stopping you in your tracks.

You flinched as he pulled a section of cord from the back of his belt, the end of the cord tipped with a large golden hook. Before you could react, he tossed the hook your way, the implement making a sharp noise as it cut through the air. You shut your eyes, too scared to move as you awaited your death for upsetting the fearsome spirit.

A horrific screech from behind you had your eyes flying back open, watching as the spirit’s hook dragged a large dark creature past you and towards himself. Clutching your hands to your chest, you watched as the struggling azakana was yanked towards the spirit, who then slashed at it with his claws, the demon vanishing with an ugly scream.

As soon as the azakana had been killed, the spirit re-stowed his hook before turning his attention back to you. He approached you again, slower this time, his head bowed slightly, and you were struck by the thought that he seemed to be trying to make himself appear less threatening to you. You were so confused by his sudden meekness that you just stared in confusion as he approached you.

He stopped a short distance from you, and now that he was close, you finally took notice of his long ears, longer than any ears you had seen before even on an elf, but now those ears were drooped downwards. The large spirit was silent before you, looking like a kicked puppy.

When he was confident that you weren’t going to run from him, he slowly reached up towards his face, pulling the face plate from his mask away from his face. You were surprised to see relatively normal facial features, minus his large brow ridge where his forehead met his horns. His face was as purple as the rest of him, but his eyes were the most unusual feature of his face, fuchsia where they would be white on a human, his irises white instead. He wasn’t exactly handsome, but he didn’t look anything like the monster you had imagined would be under that demon mask.

“I apologize if this form… repulses you,” he said, his long ears still drooped.

How could you have ever thought he was a monster? Seeing how sad he looked, you felt overcome with the need to comfort him.

“No,” you refuted gently. “You don’t repulse me. And… you saved me back in the forest, didn’t you?”

“I did,” he confirmed quietly, seeming awkward under your curious gaze.

“But why would you–”

You were cut off by a loud howl from the forest behind you, and watched as the spirit’s expression turned severe, a deep frown overtaking his features. His gaze flit to something behind you, but before you could turn back to see what he was looking at, you were distracted by him stepping closer to you.

“We must head inside my temple,” he spoke quietly but sternly, his white eyes still on the forest behind you. “It is not safe for you out here.”

Without another word, he turned to retreat towards the temple, your eyes drawn to the shiny gold hook on the back of his belt, the same hook he had used to draw the azakana to him earlier before he had clawed it in half. As unnerving as his appearance was, he had saved your life more than once now, so after a short moment, you shelved your reservations about him for now and scurried after him. You heard another demonic howl as you retreated, but were too scared to look behind you as you climbed up the steps to the temple, following behind the spirit as he entered.

Entering the room, you found the spirit standing in the middle of the room, facing you. Feeling unsure, you slowly entered the temple, flinching when the door shut by itself as soon as you had walked through it. You looked back at the doors in disbelief before turning back to face the purple-skinned spirit, but were surprised again to find a different man in his place.

“Who–” you gasped, backing up, watching as the handsome man’s face was overcome by surprise and concern.

He stepped towards you but then froze, lowering his hand to his side. The motion brought your eyes down to his hand, frozen beside a very familiar corded belt. There were clear differences; the end of his hakama was now lined with gold trim, and the rips in his collar and the tails of his belted sash were absent, but it was undeniably the outfit that the purple spirit had been wearing. Unchanged as well were the two horns that protruded from his head, still the vibrant shade of deep purple melding into fuchsia.

Whereas before you were afraid to look at him, now you couldn’t look away. The gold demon mask he had worn was gone, so now there was nothing obstructing his otherworldly handsome face. His eyes now looked like a normal human’s, minus his now-fuchsia irises, his skin now pale instead of the bright purple it had been. His formerly-silver hair still hung back in spikes, but the now-dark-purple locks also hung over his forehead and fell to the sides of his face. In all, he was absurdly handsome, his visage well-befitting the title of a spirit.

“Are you feeling unwell?”

Your eyes met his, and you felt your cheeks flare up with shame and embarrassment. Here he was looking genuinely concerned for you when you had been busy checking him out. You noticed that his ears had drooped again in worry, which was not helping you try to focus on something other than how cute he was.

Realizing that you should probably answer him, you nodded. “I’m okay. I didn’t expect your appearance to change so suddenly so I was… surprised.”

“I apologize,” he said, eyes flitting to the ground. “I understand that a demon’s appearance would be distressing to a human.”

“No!” you interjected, not wanting to make him look so sad, but also not wanting to have to own up to your blatant ogling. In the end, the spirit’s downturned eyes and drooping ears got to you, your cheeks pink in anticipation of what you were about to admit to. “It’s just… you’re much more handsome than I expected of a spirit with a demon mask for a totem.”

It was his turn to turn pink, his eyes looking up to meet yours, mouth open slightly in surprise. He smiled shyly, the sight not helping your soaring heartbeat.

“Lost souls run from me, so I feared that you would be the same,” he admitted.

You silently admitted to yourself that you could see why, given how intimidating his more demonic form looked. Not wanting to keep the mood in the room so down, you decided to change the subject and maybe get some answers at last, but were surprised when he spoke up first.

“You are welcome in my temple, little human. I am called Thresh.”

Oh. You weren’t expecting such a formal introduction, but gave your name in return with a small bow of your head. From all that you had been told as a child, a spirit’s temperament was fickle at best, and you were desperate to not offend the spirit before you, even if he hadn’t done anything to you up to this point.

Another horrible screech from outside the temple, sounding closer than before, had Thresh tensing up slightly. “Before I answer your questions, there is something that must be done first.”

The sounds outside were only growing louder and closer; it sounded like an army of azakana were approaching. You were so distracted by the noises that you failed to notice Thresh approaching you until he had taken one of your hands in his. With a quiet gasp, you looked down at your hand, his purple clawlike nails gently resting against your hand. Looking up from your hand, you found Thresh staring intently at you, the seriousness in his eyes catching you off guard.

“I must offer you my protection. It is the only way to keep the azakana at bay. Do you agree?” he spoke, leaving you feeling frozen under his intense gaze.

You couldn’t help but feel like there was some hidden meaning in his words that you were not understanding, but with the cries of the azakana getting closer, you didn’t have time to ask.

“I agree,” you spoke quickly, just wanting the azakana to go away.

Thresh nodded once before placing his other hand, the one covered in striped blue fabric up to his biceps, over the back of your hand. You watched as a purple glow surrounded his hand, and then engulfed your own hand. Your hand began to feel cold, <i>too</i> cold, but Thresh’s tight grip on you didn’t allow you to pull away. That, and your hand was feeling more numb by the second.

Just when the sounds of the demons outside were getting too close to bear, Thresh let go of your hand and the noises outside stopped all at once. Looking down at your hand, you found the previously-unmarred skin now bore a familiar mark… the same mark engraved into the stone pedestal just outside the temple. The purple demon mask laid on your skin like a tattoo, but it hadn’t hurt like you had heard they did; even the cold you had felt had quickly faded once Thresh had released your hand.

“My mark will protect you as long as you are within this temple or close to me,” Thresh explained.

Yesterday, the mask on your hand would have been terrifying, but now the sight brought you comfort; it was the only reason you weren’t being torn apart by azakana right now. But more than anything, you felt curious; why would a spirit go out of his way to protect you? There were lots of humans in your world; it wouldn’t be unusual for a spirit to view a human life like humans would view a bug.

“Why are you doing this?” you asked at last, at least a little proud that you had got the words out without stuttering.

“You are the human gift bringer, are you not?” Thresh answered your question with a question of his own, waiting for your stunned nod before continuing. “Your gifts have been a comfort a demon like me does not deserve. I could not allow such a precious mortal to die at the claws of the azakana.”

“How did you know I brought those gifts?” The question was out of your mouth before you could stop it. As soon as you had spoken the words, you were kicking yourself; you were the only human that came to this world, at least to your knowledge, it was obvious how he knew who you were.

Thresh didn’t look annoyed, as you feared he would, but instead looked happy to answer your question. “Your aura is the same one that surrounds the items you leave. I could never mistake your aura for another.”

You couldn’t do much other than stare at him, astonished at the warmth in his voice. The thought of a spirit knowing of you personally was almost too much to comprehend. Your hands went to the collar of your shirt, needing something to fiddle with to settle your nerves, but you quickly retracted your grip on the material when you felt the unpleasant starch the dried blood lent to the fabric. Now that you thought about it, the shirt felt heavy and uncomfortable against your skin, the darkened ruddy red-brown color now a reminder of just how close you had come to dying. That, and your skin was still stained with dried blood as well; looking down at the red under your nails, you realized what a sight you must be right now. If anything, Thresh had more reason to be repulsed by your current appearance than the other way around.

As scared as you were to impose any further on him, you were just as reluctant to spend a month covered in your own blood. “Is there somewhere here where I can bathe?”

You felt bad asking, but you reminded yourself that it had to be done. If he said no, then that was that, but you had to try for your own sake.

Thresh looked pensive for a moment. “There is the lake of souls.”

You jolted at the ominous-sounding name. “Is that safe?”

“It is the place new human souls appear when they come to this world after death,” he answered matter-of-factly. “I have not gone there in so long. It is not a place for a creature such as I, undeserving of its essence. However, the waters there are safe for bathing in.”

Thresh walked past you to the temple doors, and you turned to follow him, eager for a bath, even if it was in some odd soul water. Thresh raised a hand to the door, but seemed hesitant to open it. You stared at his back, unsure of what to say, when he turned his head back to face you, that same sad look back on his face.

“I must warn you; outside of this temple, I do not have the power to maintain this form. I apologize if you find me distasteful to look at.”

“It’s okay,” you replied, quietly feeling sorry for the spirit. He seemed infinitely more bothered by his appearance than you were, which helped you to feel more comfortable around his purple-skinned form. You could never have imagined a spirit would be so meek.

You followed Thresh outside, but hesitated at the bridge that led over the river and towards the forest of purple trees, the trauma of being attacked by an azakana in that forest last night stopping you in your tracks with fear.

Thresh was halfway across the bridge when he noticed that you had not followed, turning back to cautiously approach you. He had forgone his golden mask, leaving only the metal along his jaw, so you could see the worry in his expression as he stopped before you, offering you his gloved hand.

“I promise that you are safe. While you are under my protection, the azakana cannot see you,” he spoke with earnest.

You stared at his hand for a moment before reaching out to grab it with the hand that was emblazoned with his mark, the purple horned mask shimmering under the morning light. Thresh grinned happily when you took his hand, his grin only half visible under the lower half of his golden mask. You weren’t sure if the golden metal that covered his lower face and the top of his ears could be removed or not, but you didn’t want to draw attention to his appearance, so you let him lead you across the bridge and into the forest.

Despite your initial apprehension, you found yourself admiring the beauty of the spirit world in the daytime. The colors were so much more vibrant, the entire forest seeming so much more alive than it had before. Even the animals seemed livelier, soft noises of life reaching your ears from the oddly-colored animals that called this forest their home.

While you could not be seen by the azakana, if Thresh were to be believed, the animals were a different story. You even caught sight of that odd little fox you saw on your visits sometimes sunbathing on a rock, its teal tail spread out below it, the tip falling to the ground. It looked very relaxed, until you caught sight of its ear twitching before its eyes opened and it stared directly at you, almost as if it wanted you to know that it had caught you staring.

Its gaze made you feel too exposed, like it knew something that you didn’t. You turned your attention elsewhere, not wanting to attract even the attention of a fox in this place. Now that you knew you were visible to the animals here, you wondered what other things lived in this place alongside the ones you had seen before. They lived in the spirit world though, so it was not a guarantee that they were as harmless as they seemed, which you would have to keep in mind if you wanted to leave this place alive in just under a month.

A whole month in this place. The full extent of your situation began to sink in, leaving you with more questions than you had answers for. Was Thresh even willing to put up with for you a month? And what would you do for food or water while you were here? You had no answers, but decided not to press for them until after your skin was no longer stained with your own blood. You had not felt so thoroughly unclean in so long, the desire to be clean again overriding all other desires at the moment.

Thresh led you through the forest until the trees began to thin out, leading to an area of mossy rocks surrounding a large body of clear water. The area was silent, but it was a tranquil silence, the area seeming to radiate a calming energy that helped to soothe your still-frazzled nerves.

“The lake of souls,” Thresh introduced with a sad look in his eyes that confused you. What about this beautiful place made him look so melancholy?

“Is it okay to bathe here?” you asked warily, watching the gentle ripples in the water’s surface. “This place seems too sacred to dirty by bathing in it.”

Thresh shook his head. “This place exists for human souls, therefore it also exists for human souls that are still living as well.”

You were still reluctant, but decided that it was better to give in and bathe here rather than stay filthy for a month. You walked towards the water’s edge, stopping just short of the lake’s gentle waters. You turned your head back, expecting Thresh to have at least turned his back to give you some privacy, but he stood in the same spot, still staring expressionlessly out at the lake.

You were about to call out to him when a sudden noise from the water behind you startled you. You looked back at the water, unsure of what was happening, an odd disturbance in the middle of the lake catching your notice immediately.

What looked like a very small tornado had appeared on the surface of the lake, some sort of a bright light at its center. You stared, puzzled by the strange display before you. You had no frame of reference for any part of this situation; you had been the spirit guardian for only six months, and it was abundantly clear to you how little you knew of the spirits and their world.

You leaned forward, squinting slightly as you tried to figure out what was happening, when suddenly the small tornado turned scarlet red and furious, the inner glow burning red hot. You backed away from the water with a gasp as what sounded like a high-pitched scream rang out across the lake; whipping your hair around with a burst of slightly-too-warm air.

You couldn’t scramble away fast enough, terrified by this strange entity, unsure if its next move would be to charge at you or not. Thresh had said you were safe from azakana while under his protection, but this thing didn’t look like any of the azakana you had seen last night.

“Thresh, what is that?” you asked, voice quiet and frightened.

“A disquieted soul,” came his solemn answer. “It has not accepted its death and is rejecting its new form.”

“What?” you breathed. That sounded awful. How horribly could this person have died to come to the spirit world in such a state? “Can you help him?”

Thresh was silent, eyes unfocused, like he was somewhere else entirely, only snapping out of his thoughts when you called his name again. He turned his back to the lake, the motion making the beads around his neck knock against his chest.

“I can do nothing for him,” he said at last.

“What?” you began, worry bleeding to frustration. “But you’re a spirit. Your job is to guide human souls in the afterlife.”

“…not anymore,” he murmured, chin drooping along with his ears. You couldn’t see his face, but you could imagine his eyebrows sunken in despair just by the tone of his voice.

The soul was still in panic, and you couldn’t just leave them like that, even though Thresh seemed perfectly content to ignore the problem. You had always pictured the spirits as omnipotent beings that cared for human souls, allowing their loved ones to rest knowing they were in a better place in death, but watching the spirit before you dismiss the soul’s pain snapped something within you.

“We bring you offerings in exchange for your protection!” you shouted, watching Thresh’s back tense up in surprise. “Protection in this life and the afterlife. If you let that soul suffer, then you don’t deserve the gifts I’ve brought you!”

He finally turned to face you at last, and now you could see the sorrow in his white eyes. “I am unworthy of my position, I was enlightened of that long ago.”

“Somebody told you that you couldn’t help souls?” you asked.

He answered your question with a single nod of his head. “My involvement will only make things worse.”

You felt bad for him, but didn’t find yourself believing what he did about himself. He didn’t seem inherently bad to you, and with nobody around, even a sorry attempt to help would be better than no attempt at all.

“Please, Thresh,” you implored the spirit, determined to try at least one more time. “That soul is hurting and it needs you. Will you please try to help?”

You could see on his face that he was wavering, but eventually his eyebrows lifted, expression shifting to one of stony determination as he walked past you to the edge of the water. “Very well. I will try.”

“Come to me, my child,” he spoke to the soul, and you were stunned by how his voice filled the area despite being no louder than his normal speaking voice.

Despite being thoroughly devoid of knowledge of the spirit world, you could tell that there was power in his words. Deep inside you, you could feel a pull to obey his words and go to him, but you were easily able to ignore the urge. The soul on the lake, however, clearly could not resist as it began to drift closer to where Thresh stood at the water’s edge. You stayed where you were, transfixed by the scene before you but also unwilling to get closer to the fiery soul tornado that was coming your way.

The soul quickly approached Thresh, only calming when he reached out to take it in hand, the tornado dissipating and leaving behind a ball of now-white light. Now that it wasn’t a whirling tornado of fire, the soul looked rather peaceful. You couldn’t understand Thresh’s reluctance to help; he had calmed the troubled soul with only a touch, so how had he come to believe that he was so incapable of helping souls?

With his other hand, Thresh raised the lantern that was usually attached to his roped belt, the soul gently drifting inside before leaving the lantern as a soft purple wisp. The lantern lit up with a bright glow, and for a moment, you watched Thresh’s appearance flicker back to his more humanlike side, his pale skin and deep purple hair visible for only a short moment before his form returned to its usual demonic appearance.

Thresh stared down at his lantern for a long moment before finally stowing it back on his belt and turning his attention back to you. “The waters are now calm.”

You couldn’t help but wonder why he still looked so sad even after he was able to subdue the restless soul, but quickly pushed your curiosities down inside you; you had already yelled at him, and you didn’t want to push your luck by pressing him with questions and end up having him revoke the protection that he had blessed you with.

You passed the silent spirit with a small nod, waiting until he walked into the trees before you approached the water. You couldn’t see him in the trees and could only hope he hadn’t forgotten about you and left. You hadn’t been around him very long, certainly not long enough to understand him beyond a superficial level.

You removed your shirt first, wincing with disgust as you peeled the fabric off, dried blood having stuck it uncomfortably to your skin. Laying your clothes out next to the water, you were astounded that you had survived that much blood loss. Obviously Thresh had intervened and saved you, but you were surprised you had lived long enough to be saved in the first place. It was only by Thresh’s intervention that you were here in this place as a human and not a ball of light like the soul on the lake, and how had you repaid him? By freaking out on him and then yelling at him. It was a miracle you were still standing after showing such disrespect for a spirit.

You thought a quiet apology as you got into the water, feeling bad that you were dirtying such a sacred place with your blood, at least until you noticed that the red seemed to disappear the second it hit the water. With wide eyes, you tried again, wiping a wet hand across your shoulder and watching as the supernaturally-pure water made the flecks of dried blood disappear, the water once again clean. You let out a relieved sigh as you continued to wash yourself, glad that you didn’t have to worry about sullying the sacred lake with your blood.

You dunked your head under the water, allowing the water to wash away all of the grime that had accumulated in it since you had come to this place. Coming back up for air, you took another look at your shoulder, still not fully able to believe your fatal wound was gone. Running a hand over the spot, you could barely believe it had been run through with an azakana’s horn if you hadn’t watched it happen and felt the horrible pain yourself.

As you thought back to being surrounded by azakana, you suddenly felt all-too-exposed, naked and alone in the wide open area of the lake. Looking around, you didn’t see anything, not even an animal, but you still felt uneasy. Now wanting to be done as soon as possible so you could return to Thresh’s side, you quickly grabbed your clothing from the lakeside, doing your best to get the blood out of the fabric.

Your clothing was soaking wet, but the white fabric was only dyed very lightly red-brown now, which was better than it had been before. There was not much you could do about the large hole in the shoulder of your shirt, but you felt better knowing you wouldn’t be wearing clothing that was half soaked in your own blood.

Walking up to the treeline, you hesitated to enter the trees alone, instead calling out for Thresh at a volume you hoped he would hear, but not anyone or anything else that might be nearby. You were trying not to jump at every little sound, even though you were not fully sure what it was that you were afraid of in the bright light of the early afternoon.

You weren’t left waiting long, as Thresh quickly appeared from behind some trees, his expression neutral. At least he wasn’t looking as sad as he had at the lake, but that didn’t mean that you had any idea about how you were supposed to interact with him after your outburst. That, and you still had no idea what would happen to you for the rest of the month you were stuck here for. You didn’t know if spirits ate or slept, but you wouldn’t survive long without either. Thresh had offered you his protection, but that didn’t mean that he intended to put up with a live human in his space for a full month.

As nervous as you were, you forced yourself to speak up. “I appreciate you bringing me to the lake,” you started, feeling intimidated by Thresh’s lack of expression. “But I was wondering if there was a place here I could stay in for my time here, preferably one with food humans can eat. If you could just point me in the right direction, I won’t impose on you any further.”

The purple spirit’s silver eyebrows drew together in apparent confusion. “You… do not wish to remain with me?”

“Uh…” You hadn’t expected him to look so sad; you would have thought a spirit wouldn’t want to spend a month of their time babysitting a human that was dumb enough to get themselves mauled by an azakana and trapped in the spirit world.

“I understand if it is hard to be around a creature like me,” he spoke, a bittersweet smile on his face. “I will ask another spirit to protect you in my stead. I had not meant to cause you distress with my company.”

The spirit before you seemed so meek, and as he spoke, you realized he also seemed so… lonely. The downward turn of his gaze was enough to propel you forward, one hand on his arm making him look up to you with shock.

“I’m sorry,” you quickly apologized. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought I would be in your way. I would love to stay with you if that is okay.”

You realized that maybe you had laid it on a bit thick as Thresh’s purple cheeks turned bright pink, the pink whites of his eyes turning cyan blue. Panicking, you removed your hand from his arm, hoping it would help him calm down. Was he dying? You hadn’t meant to kill him! You had only been trying to make up for making him so sad, but hadn’t anticipated such an intense reaction from him.

Thresh let out a shaky breath, letting you know that you probably hadn’t killed him. “Your company would be most appreciated, little human. I have been alone for far too long in this place.”

His color gradually returned to normal, which was a relief for you, along with the fact that he looked to be in a much better mood now. You finally felt like you could relax a bit, lips raising in a shy smile; now you just felt embarrassed for overreacting yet again. It was a wonder that Thresh was willing to put up with you.

You followed Thresh back to his temple in silence, but it was a much more comfortable silence. It was a relief to know that you had somewhere to stay for the month, taking one worry away from the pile you had accumulated since coming here.

You followed him out of the forest and across the bridge that led over the river with the unlit lanterns in it. You were content to alternate between looking at the scenery and staring at Thresh’s back, at the still-shining lantern and hook attached to his belt, at least until you re-entered the temple.

The change was immediate; the tattered clothing and bright silver hair shifted, Thresh’s appearance reverting to his humanlike form again. But instead of being nervous, you found yourself thinking about the way his appearance had flickered between forms earlier by the lake, and about what he had told you.

“Thresh?”

The spirit hummed a short reply, turning around to stare at you curiously.

You took in his pale-skinned form, which would have looked deceptively human if not for the elongated ears and horns. “Earlier, at the lake… for a second, you looked like you do now.”

Thresh nodded, the same bittersweet smile from earlier gracing his lips. “You were right, I have not been worthy of the gifts you bring for quite a long time. It is my role here to care for souls, and doing so gives me the power to maintain this form. I have often thought that my hideous form is a fitting punishment for forsaking my duties.”

“You said someone told you that you weren’t capable of helping souls…” He did not deny the statement, so you continued. “But you were able to calm that panicking soul down immediately. I think you’re more capable of helping souls than you think.”

“I did,” he replied after a short silence. “But my past is not so easily forgotten. Come, I will prepare you some tea.”

He turned away, leading you towards the hallway where all the rooms were. It seemed that he intended to avoid the topic, which only made you wonder more why that person had told him that he couldn’t help souls. You had seen him soothe that soul with your own eyes, and you could see no reason anyone would have to take issue with him. But you didn’t want to press him on it further and upset him, so you followed quietly behind him until he stopped at the first door in the hall.

This room looked very similar to the one you had woken up in, the same mountainscape painted on the walls, but the air in this room had a gentle flowery fragrance in the air, likely from the incense that lay on a small white dish in the center of the room. The décor was very simple, with only a small table and some cushions, as well as a small cabinet in the corner.

Thresh approached the cabinet, while you went to take a seat on one of the floor cushions. A small rattle of china brought your attention to Thresh as he approached the table, carrying a tray with a simple deep blue clay teapot and two cups.

Placing the tray down, Thresh looked sheepish. “I apologize for the state of my tea set. I have not had company in several hundred years.”

Just how old was he? You watched as he poured the teapot, surprised when a light green liquid began to pour into the cup. There was no source of water in the room, and you doubted that the tea would last the hundreds of years since he had said he last had company, so it was likely supernatural in nature. You really hoped that eventually you would stop being surprised by every little thing in this place, but it was hard when everything here was just so different to the simple world you lived in.

You waited for him to pour his own tea before taking a sip of yours, a gentle, sweet taste settling on your tongue. The tea was unlike any you had tasted before, like it was flavored with some berry that grew only in the spirit world. Finding you were quite thirsty, your tea quickly disappeared, and you were soon left with nothing but an empty cup.

“Did you enjoy it?” Thresh asked quite eagerly, his own tea yet untouched.

“Yes, it’s lovely!” you answered, caught off guard by his sudden energy.

“I am glad,” he spoke with a soft smile, the sight making your heart skip a beat in your chest. He finally brought his cup to his lips and took a sip, letting out a pleased hum. “It has been too long since I last tasted this.”

“You can’t drink it when you’re alone?” you asked, setting your cup down.

“I can,” he answered. “But spirits do not need to eat or drink, so I only partake when I have company. Drinking this tea alone only reminds me of my solitude, which spoils the flavor.”

You bit your lip as you pondered what to reply. He seemed so casual about his loneliness, like it was something he had long since accepted as fact. You had always thought of the spirits as faceless, omnipotent beings that were so far above humans that they weren’t even comparable. Seeing him now, you did not see the faceless deity you had brought presents to, nor the terrifying spirit that had initially greeted you in front of the temple, but instead a being not so different from yourself.

You understood his feelings well, especially as of late. Your grandmother was the last person you had that you had really felt close to, and you had barely begun your spirit guardian training when she had suddenly died, throwing you into your role before you were ready. The people in town would speak to you, but there were none that you could really connect with, and you knew that they often kept you at arm’s length. Your connection to the spirits was a curse as much as it was a blessing; you had heard whispers around you before suggesting that displeasing you would bring the ire of the spirits upon oneself, as if you were some vengeful warden intent on using the spirits for your own benefit. Just thinking about it made your chest ache with that same loneliness that was in Thresh’s eyes.

Thresh had only simple food on hand, which was fine with you. Food to eat and a bed to sleep in were more than you could have hoped for, but Thresh seemed happy to play host to you.

You weren’t content to just sit around and be catered to by someone who had saved your life and gotten nothing in return. After you ate, you had gotten to work after finding a broom and some cloths, intent on paying Thresh back for his kindness.

“You are not my servant,” Thresh insisted with a pout from twenty feet away from you.

At first, he had tried to stop you from cleaning his floors, which you had refused, determined to do something for him. Then he had tried to help, but the first swipe of dust from the floor had sent him into such a wild sneezing fit that you had to banish him to the other side of the room, where he was currently trying to protest your cleaning spree from. He had started his fretting only after his sneezes had finally stopped, all while you tried not to giggle at how cute his sneezes were.

“You’re giving me food and a bed,” you replied. “This is the least I can do. And besides, you start sneezing if you even <i>see</i> dust.”

Thresh’s cheeks flushed pink. “I am truly ashamed at how long I have left my temple like this.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at him, which turned his ears pink as well as his cheeks, but at least he had finally stopped protesting your cleaning of his temple. He still seemed intent to stay close to you, minus the dust-guarding distance. It was a little silly, but you didn’t mind the company while you worked.

Dinnertime came fairly quickly, the entryway completely spotless when Thresh finally convinced you to stop and eat. He sat across from you at the small table, drinking that same tea as you ate your meal.

“I’m afraid I do not have much food on hand,” Thresh admitted with a frown. “I will have to go fetch more supplies in a few days.”

You nodded, swallowing a bite of rice. “How long will you be gone for?”

“No more than a few hours,” he answered. “The trading post is not too far from here.”

“You have a trading post here?” you asked curiously.

“We do,” he replied simply. “It is where I get this tea from. But I have not gone in a long while. I have not had reason to go until now.”

His words made you worry that you were making him go out of his way, but the small smile on his face helped to relax you. He was a kind spirit, and you didn’t want to annoy him by constantly apologizing for inconveniencing him, so you would allow yourself to accept his kindness for now.

It turned out that Thresh’s bedroom just a few doors down from yours, which came as a great relief to you. You knew that you had his protection, the mark on your hand was enough of a reminder of that, but you were having a hard time fully ridding yourself of your fears, especially alone in your futon late at night.

This bed was not so different than your own one at home, but at the same time, everything felt so different. Even the air here was different; it somehow felt more pure here, and you supposed it made sense. This was a place free of the contamination of your world, as the only people here were the souls of the dead, and you doubted they had any need to breathe anymore.

You eventually fell asleep thinking of your grandmother, of the egg pudding she used to make the morning after she returned from doing her rounds as spirit guardian. You could only wonder what she would have thought of your failure only six months after taking up the post she had held for over fifty years. As you drifted off, you apologized to her in your mind for letting her down.

 As you walked into the entry room a few days later, you found Thresh getting ready to leave, a simple purple bag slung over one shoulder. The bag itself looked like it would hold up, but it was clearly well-used, and could use a good stitching in some parts. You made a mental note to offer to fix it up for him when he came back.

Thresh noticed you immediately, his fingers releasing the bag as he turned to fully face you.

“Have a safe trip,” you said. “I’ll do some more cleaning while you’re gone.”

“You do not have to,” he grumbled, before thinking better of it with a shake of his head. “I will return no later than this evening.”

“Got it,” you replied. You could find something to occupy you until then. It wasn’t like you were going to complain about being lonely when he was only making this trip for your benefit in the first place.

Thresh’s smile quickly faded, face and voice becoming more serious. “While I am gone, do not leave this temple. My protection can only keep you safe from azakana if you are by my side or within my temple. I could not bear it if anything happened to you while I was away, I implore you–”

There were the droopy sad ears again. It would be cute if he didn’t look so upset.

“I won’t leave,” you promised. “I’m not eager to meet any more azakana anyways.”

“But…” He seemed reluctant to leave you. He was even more concerned for you than you were yourself. You had never pictured a spirit to be such a worrier.

“I’ll be fine,” you spoke gently. “You should go now, or you’ll be late getting back and I might be so bored by then that I wander into the forest looking for dirt to sweep up.”

You had meant it to be a joke, but by the alarm in Thresh’s widened eyes, your joking tone hadn’t quite been understood by the highly-stung spirit. Regardless, your words propelled him into action at last as he made his way towards the front door, sliding it open.

As he crossed the threshold, you watched his deep purple hair turn silver again, his demonic form returning as he left the power of his temple. He turned back to face you, still looking vaguely like a kicked puppy.

“I’ll be here when you return,” you insisted. “Now go.”

He nodded once. “You will be… here. It is a strange feeling to have someone waiting for me to return. Strange, but not unpleasant.”

You smiled, giving him a short wave. Thresh returned your smile with his sharp teeth, reaching into a pocket to bring out the face plate of his golden mask and affixing it to his face. His expressive eyes now hidden from your view, Thresh finally turned to head towards the bridge that would take him into the forest.

You watched him go until his tall form was swallowed by the vibrant purple trees, slowly sliding the door closed when you lost all sight of him. You stared at the closed door for a moment before forcing yourself to snap out of it. Thresh was a being of this world, the creatures here did not present the same danger to him as they did to you. He would be fine. And moreover, you had some cleaning to do; hopefully it would tire you out enough for you to keep your mind off of Thresh.

Your own room was fairly empty, and you didn’t want to go into Thresh’s room while he wasn’t there, so for now that left the room where you had drank tea together.

The table was easy enough to clean, and you found yourself tracing a finger over a groove that ran along the length of the small table. Could he have gotten this from the trading post? Or was it just here, like his temple was? You felt like you could ask every question on your mind and still be no closer to understanding how this world worked.

The time passed quickly at first, but began to slow down rapidly after the first hour or two. You only realized how bad it was when you looked down at the cup you were polishing, only to realize it was the same one you had polished an hour ago. Maybe there were less things to occupy your attention here than you had thought.

Maybe a change of pace would help ease away the boredom you were trying to ignore. Getting to your feet, you returned the cleaning items to the cupboard in the entryway, letting out a sigh as you looked over the room.

You were distracted from your moping by a barely-audible noise coming from the direction of the front door. Taking a step toward the door, you heard it again, slightly louder this time. It sounded like something was scratching against the door, but it seemed to be something small.

You were debating what to do when the door was scratched against once more, followed by a low whine that sounded vaguely pained. Thresh had said not to leave the temple, but surely just opening the door would be okay? The creature outside whined once more, and your decision was made. You couldn’t just leave an injured animal outside, especially if it had also been attacked by an azakana like you had been. You would open the door, bring it in, and then close it back up. The plan was nice and simple, which was why it went awry almost immediately.

Sliding the door halfway open, you peeked out, seeing nothing. Perplexed, you wondered if you had been so bored that you were hearing things. It could be possible, but really, anything was possible in this place.

A high-pitched bark had you reconsidering your hallucination theory, looking ahead to see a white fox standing ten or so feet in front of you, staring right at you with supernaturally blue eyes.

As you stared at it, you realized that it looked familiar. Its vibrant teal tail, the bells on a magenta cord tied around its neck… was this the same fox you had seen that night on your walk? The same one that had caught you staring at it when Thresh took you to the lake?

But what was it doing here? Why would a fox go to so much trouble just to get the attention of one lone human?

The fox chirped, ensuring it had your attention before it dashed around the side of Thresh’s temple, disappearing from view. What was it doing? You stared in the direction it had vanished, confused, when another chirp rang out from the side of the temple. The fox would not stop talking at you, which began to make you think… did it want you to follow it?

You were wary, remembering Thresh’s warning, but his temple’s protection should include the temple land as well, wouldn’t it? He hadn’t specified, but the land had to count as well, didn’t it? And the fox was clearly not an azakana, at least it didn’t look like the ones you had seen that night. You didn’t stop to think about it any further, dismissing it as likely alright as you slid the door closed behind you.

“Hello?” you called out as you walked towards the side of the building. “Are you okay, little guy?”

Turning the corner, you expected to see the fox nursing an injury, but found yourself instead face to face with a striking woman in a short kimono.

You jumped back, catching yourself before you could fall down, staring wide-eyed at the magenta-haired woman. She tilted her head slightly as she appraised you, which drew your attention to the large pair of animal-like… <i>fox-like</i>… ears atop her head, which then focussed your attention to the mass of tails that flared out behind her.

“You took long enough,” she said, but her voice didn’t sound angry. “Now, we have to go. I don’t know how long we have until he comes back.”

“He…?” you pondered out loud as the words began to sink in. “Wait, I can’t! Thresh said his protection only works if I stay here!”

“You–” She started, but then cut herself off. “His… protection?”

You brought a hand up to your chest, taking a step back from the strange woman. “I… he…”

The woman moved towards you so fast that you were almost unable to see the movement, snatching your hand and bringing it towards her. You tried to tug your hand back, but her grip was iron as she leaned down to stare closely at your hand. You stared down at her, unease crawling along your skin, when you noticed that it was the hand that bore Thresh’s mark under her grip.

“He gave you… his mark,” she said, voice heavy with confusion. She released your hand at last, and you quickly brought it back to your side, still unsure of what to make of this weirdly intense fox girl.

“Who are you?” you asked, trying to estimate your chances of making it back inside before she caught up to you if it turned out that she was here to do you harm. “And why are you here?”

She smiled, and her tails seemed to fluff up behind her like a peacock. “My name is Ahri, and I came here to rescue you from Thresh.”

“From Thresh?” you echoed. Did she know something you didn’t?

“Yes,” she confirmed, sounding unsure herself. “I thought with his history, he may be keeping you here against your will, but…”

“No!” you denied, finding yourself flush with the need to deny her assumption. “I fell off the path and got attacked by an azakana. Thresh saved me and brought me here. He told me this mark would keep me safe until the month is up and I can go home.”

Ahri looked stunned, an expression you assumed she didn’t wear often. Her bright blue eyes looked from your hand that bore the purple demon mask up to your eyes before letting out a sigh. “…I didn’t expect to hear a human defending Thresh.”

What did she mean? Wait, she had mentioned history…

“Are you the one who told him he couldn’t help souls?” you accused quietly, even as your chest trembled at the idea of speaking to a spirit like this. But you had to know what she knew, had to know what had made her decide that Thresh was unworthy of the job you had seen him do perfectly with your own eyes.

“I have known Thresh for a long time,” she began wistfully. “Much longer than your people have been bringing us gifts for. We used to comfort human souls together back then.”

She looked so sad, just like Thresh had that day at the lake.

“But his care for the souls went too far. He began to see them not as mortal souls needing his guidance, but as his own children. He kept them with him, preventing them from experiencing what their souls need to learn in this world. We are here to help human souls, not cage them, and he forgot that,” she explained.

You almost felt tears come to your eyes at her words. It was clear the experience had scarred her as well.

She gave you a sad smile. “I’m relieved that he hasn’t harmed you, but you must come with me. There’s no telling how soon it will be before Thresh falls back to his old ways again.”

She didn’t seem like she was lying, but you still felt like you were being torn in two. Thresh’s face appeared in your mind, the sad expression when he talked about his past the only thing you could think about.

“…I can’t.”

“You can’t?” Ahri sounded incredulous.

“I watched him help a soul,” you said, voice unsteady. “He only did it because I told him he didn’t deserve my gifts if he didn’t. But he calmed it down so easily!”

This time Ahri stayed silent, and you took that as your approval to keep talking. “I think he regrets what he did back then. I don’t think he would hurt me, and I can’t just leave him when he still looks so sad.”

Ahri’s gaze was hard as she silently considered you. The seconds dragged on as you nervously met eyes with her, afraid you had gotten on her bad side. Thresh hadn’t flexed his authority as a spirit over you, but that didn’t mean that Ahri wouldn’t. The longer the silence stretched on, the less sure you were of anything; you weren’t sure whether to be relieved or not when she finally spoke up.

“Then… can I ask you to help him?”

“What?” you breathed.

Ahri let out an amused huff at your reaction. “You have more power than you may think. Thousands of years have passed and this is the first time Thresh has willingly left his isolation to help anyone. You may be the key to restoring his faith in himself.”

“But how could I…”

“Talk to him,” Ahri instructed. “Show him that he doesn’t need to confine souls to his side when he has others who care about him. Threaten to withhold his offerings again if you have to.”

Her grin told you she was largely joking about that last one, but that reminded you about something that had slipped your mind over the past few days.

“The gifts…!” you gasped.

Ahri grinned, showing off her sharp canines. “Already taken care of. I found your basket and brought the rest of the presents to the other spirits. I especially liked my new comb.”

You were momentarily stunned, but snapped out of it and bowed your head low. “Thank you! I don’t know what my village would have done if…”

“Raise your head,” Ahri commanded, and you stood up straight again. “I would not allow our deal to be revoked because you were attacked by azakana and unable to finish your route.”

“Still, I appreciate it,” you insisted. “I don’t want to upset spirits who got no gift while others did.”

“I’ve always watched the spirit guardians on their walks,” Ahri said. “This deal is important to us as well. The gifts you bring give us a connection to your world, and brighten our days. I have watched spirit guardians come and go, but I have never seen the spirits as happy as when they receive your gifts. Even Yone has not stopped playing the flute you gave him.”

Yone? So that was the name of the finicky spirit of the twin-bladed temple. It was a relief to know that the gift you had especially agonized over was received well.

“I did try to save you myself, but Thresh got to you first,” Ahri admitted. “With how isolated he’s been for so long, I feared what he would do with you. You are too important to us to allow anything to happen to you before it is your time.”

“Ahri…” You weren’t sure what to say. You had never thought that you would come to mean anything to the spirits here, at least not any more than anyone else who had done the job before you. You were so used to being tolerated that being appreciated felt like a foreign concept.

Ahri let out a contemplative hum. “I want to believe that you can bring Thresh back to who he used to be, but I can’t trust him just yet.”

She reached a hand up, gently removing one of the gold bells that hung on one of her hair accessories, holding the egg-sized bell out to you in her palm.

“If you need my help, just ring that bell and I’ll come,” she explained. “I will respect your wish to stay here with him, but I won’t have you here without help if you need it.”

“Thank you,” you replied nervously, reaching forward to take the bell from her palm.

“I’ll look forward to two gifts next time in return for all my hard work,” she teased, before her smile dropped in favor of a more serious look. “Just remember to be ready to get on the path when the door to your world opens again. Thresh’s protection will only last until the portal to your home is open.”

“I’ll be ready,” you promised her, even if it still felt like forever before you would be able to return to your life as it normally was.

Ahri smiled, the action lifting the pink stripes on her cheeks. “I think you can finally bring him back to us. Every spirit here will owe you a debt of gratitude.”

“Not more than I owe Thresh for saving my life,” you admitted honestly. “I’m beginning to think that the spirits have more regard for me than my own people do.”

You weren’t sure why you were being so open with someone you barely knew, much less a spirit, but deep down you suspected it was because Ahri felt like the closest thing to a female friend that you had ever had, as sad as that was to admit to yourself. For her part, Ahri didn’t seem to mind your oversharing, her smile unchanging.

“I will have to ask one more favor of you,” she said, bringing a finger up to her lips. “Don’t tell Thresh I was here. I don’t want him to be distracted by our past, so it’s better he doesn’t know that I came to talk to his little human guest.”

You weren’t so sure that hiding herself from Thresh would benefit him, but you agreed. It seemed to you that both of them cared for each other, but neither one seemed willing to make the first move. Thresh was too buried in his self-loathing, and Ahri seemed to think him seeing her again would be too painful for him. You didn’t know the full extent of their past, but it seemed to you that Thresh would benefit from knowing that other spirits cared about him. But at the same time, you had to respect Ahri’s wishes.

“…if he wanted to talk to you, would you see him?” you asked quietly.

Her blue eyes looked sad. “Of course I would, but I know he won’t want to see my face after all that’s happened between us.”

“Ahri…”

Her ears suddenly perked up and she glanced back over her shoulder quickly. “I can sense him coming back. I have to go.”

She brushed past you before turning back one more time. “I hope you can do what I couldn’t and get through to him. Remember that you hold more power than you think.”

She flashed one last smile before her form changed with a cloud of blue fire, leaving the fox with the teal tail in her place. With a farewell bark, she darted off behind the temple.

When her tail finally vanished from sight, you turned back to face the purple woods ahead of you. If what Ahri said was right, then Thresh would be coming back soon, and he would be expecting to find you inside the temple. You didn’t want to worry him, so you quickly retreated inside, closing the door behind you.

You had picked up the broom for an excuse, but had been so nervous that you had been zoning out staring at it when the front door slid open and your name was called.

You knew that he was coming back, but you were still startled when you looked up to see Thresh standing just inside the doorway, looking concerned. You straightened up, probably too straight, the broom falling from your grasp and hitting the floor with a loud thump.

How were you supposed to act now? You had hardly had any time to process what Ahri had told you, and now Thresh was here, unaware of what had transpired in the last ten minutes.

“Welcome back,” you greeted him, reaching down to pick up the fallen broom.

You looked back up at him, nervous that he would see right through you, but to your surprise, he didn’t ask questions, but instead approached you with a soft smile on his face.

“I am relieved to see you safe,” he said softly.

“I’m fine,” you replied. “You worry too much. You were only gone a few hours.”

He looked like he might continue to fret, so you changed the subject for both of your sakes. “How was the trading post?”

“It was… lively,” he answered. “I hope you did not overwork yourself cleaning my temple.”

“I didn’t do too much,” you answered, allowing yourself to relax at last; Thresh seemed the same as when he had left earlier. You shook your head, mentally scolding yourself; of course he was acting normal, he wasn’t the one struggling with the new information that you were.

What Ahri told you did make sense; you had realized pretty early on that Thresh was a lonesome spirit. Hearing that he had kept souls with him instead of letting them go on their soul’s journey had not fully surprised you, but you also hadn’t found yourself as scared as Ahri seemed to think you should be.

You only had a month in this place, was that really long enough to heal all of the pain that Thresh had collected in his heart over a lifetime? Ahri had too much faith in you, you were sure of that, but at the same time, you had meant what you had said; you didn’t want to just abandon him. He was no danger to you, this spirit that would sneeze if he even <i>saw</i> dust and was clearly more nervous around you than you were around him.

You had zoned out again, coming back to see Thresh before you, eyebrows drawn downwards in concern.

“Are you ill?” he asked, placing his ungloved hand against your forehead. “If you require–”

“I’m fine!” you insisted, backing away from his touch, his eyes widening in surprise at your reaction.

He looked a little hurt, which made you feel bad, but before you could apologize, he had moved away from you. You watched as he reached into his satchel, pulling out a small cloth package.

“I have procured you a gift. Hopefully it will help lift your spirits.”

You accepted the package, lifting the cloth folds to find four soft white balls, the sight something you hadn’t seen since your grandmother was alive. “Daifuku…”

“I have been told that they make these at human festivals,” Thresh said. “I was told these ones have strawberries inside.”

…just how your grandmother used to make them. You hadn’t even realized you were crying until the first tear fell from your chin, dripping onto the cloth in your hands. You blinked, realizing that your eyes were wet. You had really thought you had finally got over the loss of your grandmother, but seeing the strawberry daifuku, clearly wrapped and prepared with such care, brought your emotions back to where you had been that day six months ago when you had gotten the news.

Your tears had immediately frazzled Thresh, whose eyes went impossibly wide. “Are you… I should not have…”

You brought a hand up to wipe your tears away with your sleeve, sniffling maybe slightly too loudly in your efforts to rein in your sudden burst of emotion.

“It’s not your fault!” you cried out, startling both of you with your sudden volume. “It’s just… my grandmother used to make strawberry daifuku for me before she died. She was… she was the spirit guardian before me.”

Thresh quietly took in the information, staring hesitantly at you. “So you are not displeased?”

You took a further few seconds to compose yourself before replying. “No, I’m not displeased. It’s just been a lonely six months since she died, and she always made these to cheer me up when I was upset.”

“You are lonely?” Thresh inquired. “I have heard your village is quite a populated one.”

You bit your lip, his words bringing back every bad memory you had of your life growing up as the granddaughter of the spirit guardian, next in line for the position yourself. The pain of their treatment felt ten times worse now that your grandmother was not there to share the burden of social isolation with you.

You let out a sad sigh. “Could we have some tea?”

Thresh readily agreed, and soon you sat across from each other at that small table, a cup of tea in front of you, the daifuku placed in the middle of the table, yet untouched.

“I only really spent time with my grandma. The other villagers tolerate us for what we do for them, but they don’t like us. Unless they’re forced to speak to me, they just avoid me.”

“I do not understand why,” Thresh retorted, purple eyes dark with anger. “You have been here so little time, but you are already so dear to me. Your people are ignorant.”

“They’re scared,” you corrected. “They think that I hold some influence over the spirits just because I bring you gifts. They think that if they make me mad, I’ll tell you to burn their homes down or something. I’ve overheard mothers telling their children not to make eye contact with me. Even if I did have the power to make spirits do what I want, I would never use it, but it’s not like any of them would believe me if I told them that.”

Thresh’s angry look had softened into one of sadness, pity clear in his eyes. The look made you uncomfortable, not used to being looked at like that by anybody. Your grandmother had been the only person who ever listened to your worries, and now she was gone to a place far beyond your reach.

“They’ve probably noticed I’m gone by now. I assume they’re more worried about finding my replacement than my likely death,” you mused sadly. “Thanks for listening, Thresh. It’s been a long time since I had someone to talk to.”

“I know what it is like to be so… alone,” Thresh spoke softly, nail tracing along the side of his still-full teacup. “The souls are… <i>were</i> my companions. They gave me power, and they kept me company.”

You said nothing, Ahri’s words from earlier echoing in your head as you gazed at the forlorn spirit before you.

“But they were not mine to keep,” he continued. “They were by my side at the expense of their soul’s path. The loneliness I suffer is my punishment for falling to such ignoble behavior.”

“Thresh…”

“But you have done nothing to deserve to be shunned by your world,” he growled. “I do not deserve the offerings you bring, but they are unworthy of the protection this world lends them.”

“I’ve never thought about it like that before,” you admitted. “But I don’t want them to be subjected to the mountain’s dangers just because they don’t like me. And without this job, I would have nothing. I feel like it’s my last tie to my grandmother, doing what she did for so long.”

You had been staring down at the table, but looked up as Thresh’s arm came in your peripheral vision. You watched as he gently picked up a soft daifuku, setting it down in front of you. Your gaze shot up, meeting his startlingly intense violet eyes.

“You have not lost your ties to her. Souls do not cease to be when they die. When I touch a soul, I can see how they came to this place, what is most important to them. I did not encounter the soul of your grandmother, but I am sure that if I did, I would be shown your face. Your memories with her are your connection to her soul.”

You pulled back from the table, not wanting your tears to fall in your likely-lukewarm tea. His words had a strange way of seeping into your skin, your loneliness feeling less heavy on your chest as you took in his words.

It was hard not to feel alone in your empty house, in a village that feared and hated you. But here you were, with someone alike in your pain, even if your lives could not have been more different. Here you were, sharing tea and daifuku like you had done so many times with your grandmother. The memories of her didn’t have to be a burden; they could be your strength.

Thresh must think you were a bad representation of your species, crying your heart out in front of him like a baby. But when you wiped your tears and gathered up the courage to look at his face, you found it surprisingly neutral, watching you like he was hesitant to say any more.

You picked up the daifuku, taking a bite and savoring its gentle sweetness on your tongue. The taste swept you up, and soon you had finished the whole thing. Realizing you still had company, as silent as he was right now, you swallowed the last bit of daifuku before setting your palms on the table.

“Thank you,” you said. “For the daifuku, and for what you said. I don’t think I’ve felt this content in a long time.”

Your tears hadn’t fully stopped, and that combined with your smile seemed to be confusing the spirit before you, but he nodded in response, a small smile gracing his lips. “I am glad I could help ease your burden, little human.”

“Are you going to eat one?” you asked, gesturing to the daifuku.

Thresh reached forward, taking a daifuku in hand and bringing it up to his mouth, staring at it in wonder.

“Have you not had daifuku before?” you asked curiously as you reached for another one yourself.

“I do not partake in food often,” Thresh admitted. “The shopkeeper told me that this was a food humans liked to eat.”

You smiled at his thoughtfulness; it was a nice feeling to know that he had taken such care in selecting something for you that he thought you would like. Combined with the slight flush to his cheeks and his shy smile, you almost couldn’t believe he was one of the spirits you had held in awed regard for so long. He had no reason to go so out of his way to bring you a comfort from home, but in doing so, he had shown more consideration for you than anyone in your village ever had.

You would repay him for his kindness; if he could pull you out of your misery, then you would do whatever you could to do the same for him. And you only had a month here to convince him of his worth, so you would have to start soon. That night, you went to bed with hope in your heart, hope that you and Thresh were both worthy of more.

 You sat up, your bare legs being tickled by the grass you laid on. Looking around, you found yourself in a glade, surrounded by dark, gnarled trees that grew so far overhead that they blocked the sky entirely. You didn’t know what time it was, or where you were, or how you had gotten here.

You jolted forward at the sensation of something brushing against your back, a chill running up your spine at the sudden contact. You turned your head back to look, but saw nothing but the dark forest that surrounded you. A loud snarl rang out in the quiet forest, startling you and sending you curling in on yourself in fear. What was happening around you?

“I cannot see you,” came a dark growl, followed by a face appearing out of the darkness mere inches from your own.

You scrambled back with a scream, staring in terror at the large creature before you that you were horrified to realize that you recognized.

“I cannot hear you,” the demon-faced worm continued, its long body twisting around just above you. “But I can <i>smell</i> you.”

You pressed yourself back into the grass, desperate for this <i>thing</i> to not touch you in its circling in the air. There was no mistaking this demon for anything but the one that had attacked you that night in the forest. The realization brought a phantom pain to your shoulder, your memories returning to you in full.

How did you get to this place? You had been safe. Thresh told you that you were safe. Your only relief was that the demon didn’t seem to be able to see or hear you.

“I can smell your fear,” it purred sinisterly. “But it is your flesh I want. I was so close, and then your delicious fear would have been all mine.”

There was nowhere to run. The trees blocked you in, and even if there was a gap in the branches to run to, you were too scared to move and break whatever spell kept the azakana from seeing you.

“I can still taste your blood,” the azakana snarled, its wormlike body thrashing violently above you. “And I will taste it again. You cannot hide from my eyes forever, and then you will be mine to savor, to break into a thousand pieces before I devour your weak body. You will never escape your fate.”

A flash of light crashed above you and you closed your eyes, raising your arms up to shield your face. It felt like the bright light was about to be upon you, but then it all faded to black.

You sat up in bed with a gasp, breathing heavily. Looking around the familiar room, your heartbeat began to slow as you realized that it had just been an awful dream. It had felt so real; that azakana’s horrible raspy growls right next to your ear that had spoken of promises of not being done with you yet sending chills up your arms even if the safety of your room.

Immediately, you wanted to tell Thresh what had happened, but quickly reconsidered. It had been horrible, but it was just a dream. Thresh was a worrier, and you didn’t want to trouble him with something as silly as a bad dream, not when he had so much of his own problems to worry about.

Letting out a sigh, you laid back down on your side in your futon. You stared at the mountainscape painting on the wall, letting the still image relax you and bring you back to reality. You knew it was still too early to get up, so you would have to try to get back to sleep, as daunting of a task as that seemed right now. Closing your eyes, you could only hope that your impending sleep would be dreamless.

 You woke up slowly, unable to remember if you had dreamed or not, which was a vast improvement on your earlier nightmare. Feeling fully rested, you only felt more confident in your decision to keep this to yourself. Thresh had more important things to worry about than a human having a bad dream, and you supposed that today was as good a day as any to start working on that promise you had made Ahri to restore Thresh’s confidence in himself.

You began to brainstorm ideas as you did a sweep of the entry room. Since you had begun cleaning, the temple didn’t have much dirt to sweep up, but the action helped you focus on how you would get Thresh to begin helping souls again.

You doubted he would agree just because you asked him; while he had done it for that soul in turmoil, the emotional aftermath was something you thought it would be better to avoid if you wanted to make progress. But what else did that leave?

Starting slow seemed like your best bet, but how would you get him out of the temple? Stuck in here, he would likely not get any better, considering how much of a hermit he had been for so long. Setting the broom against the wall, you finally had an idea settle in your mind, as sneaky as it may be.

 “The lake of souls?” Thresh echoed, caught off guard.

You had ambushed him the moment he had come into the room, startling him with your sudden request.

“I like to bathe every day if I can,” you spoke, doing your best to sound casual so he wouldn’t suspect anything. “Would it be okay if we went back today?”

Thresh stared down at you, blinking tiredly. He tended to be sleepier in the mornings, which you were hoping would aide you in your plan. As you waited for him to reply, you took in his messy bangs and rumpled collar. You found yourself constantly surprised by how cute he was; such a difference from your initial impression.

Eventually, the half-awake spirit relented with a slow nod. “I can take you there now.”

“How about some tea first?” you suggested. “I don’t want you to doze off and fall into the lake.”

Recalling the fact that you had caught him sleeping standing up two mornings ago, Thresh agreed. “…that may be wise.”

He allowed you to force some morning tea on him, and was considerably more awake when you both set out. As you followed him down the forest path, you began to appreciate his demonic form as well, the purple of his skin contrasting beautifully with the violet of the trees all around you.

You would have to start slow, but you were already running into problems. What would be a happy medium between doing nothing and pushing him at a soul and telling him to deal with it? You knew that getting him to talk to Ahri would likely be good for both of them, but that would probably require a lot of convincing both of them to agree. Ahri didn’t seem confident that Thresh could change so easily, so you would have to show her that he was worth redemption before you got her to meet him again.

You had been probably too deep in your thoughts, so deep that you hadn’t noticed that you had arrived at the lake until Thresh was in front of you, leaning towards your face with a worried expression.

You quickly stepped back, embarrassed by both his sudden closeness and your own lack of paying attention to your surroundings. Giving yourself a moment to calm down, you looked from Thresh to the waters behind him, just as beautiful as they had been yesterday. The sight focussed you; you couldn’t let this chance go to waste, even as uncertain as you felt.

“Um, Thresh…?” you spoke up, nerves doubling when he looked at you curiously with his white eyes. “How often do souls appear here?”

Thresh turned to look out at the water as he considered your question. “It is more frequent at times of strife and war in your world, but otherwise it remains steady. Although the flow of death may have changed in my absence of duties.”

“Do you want to try again?” you asked carefully. “Like the last time we were here?”

“I…” He sounded conflicted, posture too stiff. “If I repeat the same mistakes–”

You stayed silent until he finally looked back at you, finding yourself shocked by the tears pooling unshed in his eyes. “How can I know that I will not give into my cursed loneliness again? If I were to accept my role and then fail again… I am afraid I will not survive another fall.”

Thresh let out a low exhale, closing his eyes for a short moment before reopening them, his eyes no longer watery, but expression still plainly sad.

“I know it’s not much, but I’m here now,” you offered. “So you won’t be lonely while I’m here with you.”

Thresh looked surprised, his eyebrows raising as he stared at you in disbelief. But you could still see the reluctance on his face; as much as you wanted to help him, it would be hard to fix so many lifetimes full of trauma. Just when you were ready to hear his rejection again, an idea came to you, and you couldn’t help but cut off Thresh’s about-to-be-spoken words in your excitement.

“One soul a day!” you exclaimed as soon as the idea hit you.

“You…”  Thresh seemed confused, which was fair considering you had just shouted words in his face with no context.

“One soul a day,” you repeated, holding up one finger before him. “What if you help one soul every day? I’ll be here to keep you from getting lonely, and if it’s too difficult, you can stop, but just try one a day… please?”

“One soul a day,” he muttered to himself, running one hand up his other arm as if trying to stave off a chill.

“I’m right here,” you insisted. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”

You could see the hope in his face. You could see how close he was to agreeing, but he was still holding himself back. Why was he still resisting?

“Please, Thresh,” you appealed to him one more time, unable to keep the emotions you were feeling out of your voice. “You can really help these souls. If it were me… if it was my grandmother’s soul, I would feel better knowing someone like you was here to greet her when she came here.”

“If it were you…” he considered with a soft sigh. “I suppose I cannot abandon these souls if they have left someone like you behind.”

“Thank you!” you cried out in relief, surging forward to wrap your arms around him in a hug.

Feeling him stiffen immediately, you pulled back as you realized what it was you had just done. You had been so overjoyed that it had overwhelmed you, or at least that was the only reasoning you could come up with.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking–”

“No, you have done nothing to offend me,” Thresh denied awkwardly, skin noticeably pink even as his lips formed a small, shy smile. “I did not mind your contact at all.”

You felt your own face warm as you stared at Thresh’s happy blushing face, a realization crashing onto you. Nobody your age in your village really talked to you, but you had taken notice of boys your age, wishing they would talk to you while knowing that they never would. But staring at Thresh now…

“…actually, I rather enjoyed your embrace,” he admitted, shocking you with his openness.

You quickly looked down, nails biting into your palms at your sides. This was more than you had ever felt for any cute boy you had admired from afar in your village, more than any emotions you had felt when reading romantic stories in books your grandmother had bought you. This spirit in front of you who did not rebuff your contact, but instead seemed to welcome it had developed a closer place in your heart than any of the people in the village that your duties protected, and you didn’t know what to do now that you realized how your feelings were changing.

You were too scared to confront the feelings inside you, so you opted for the easy way out. “So when do you think a soul will appear?”

 Thresh had handled the soul perfectly that day, if not slightly more nervously than the first time you had seen him do it. You had stood by his side as he had called the soul to him, taking it into his lantern and then releasing it. You could tell he had hesitated when letting the spirit go, but he had done it without complaint, even though you knew his mind was likely on his past as he did so.

You had been surprised to return to Thresh’s temple that day to see that one of the lanterns that floated in the river around the temple was now lit with a bright purple light. You hadn’t been the only one who was surprised; Thresh had stared openly in awe of the lit lantern, something he then told you he had not seen in hundreds of years.

You began to notice a pattern. Every day when you returned from the lake, a new lantern had lit up. The lights were exciting to look at in the daytime, but were downright mesmerizing at night, vibrant purple light drifting gently on the water. As the days passed and more lanterns came alight, you and Thresh began to take your evening tea outside.

“It’s so beautiful,” you said after taking a sip of your tea. “We don’t have anything like this in my village. Not unless you believe the rumors about what it looks like at the top of Mount Targon.”

“I have grown so used to this sight that it becomes hard to appreciate it,” Thresh mused. “But sitting here with you, it feels like I am seeing this world anew.”

“I felt the same way after I nearly died,” you replied. “This world has always amazed me, but after you saved me, I’ve gotten to see so many new sides of this place. You would think it would scare me to be here after I was attacked, but I don’t feel scared at all.”

“…not even of me?” Thresh asked quietly. “Nobody would blame you would fleeing at the first chance you got from a fiend like I. I admit I was pleasantly surprised to return from the trading post to find you still here.”

You turned from the lanterns to face Thresh, his expression neutral, but eyes wavering like he was anticipating a rejection.

“How could I be scared of you?” you countered. “You’ve been kinder to me than anyone. And you’re not really scary, not unless you have your gold mask on.”

“…oh,” was Thresh’s muted response.

You couldn’t help a quiet laugh. He was so hard on himself. It was no wonder it was like pulling teeth to get him to agree to your one-soul-a-day plan. He had been alone for so long, with not even himself to believe in him.

You knew that you were maybe putting yourself too out there as you leaned your head against his shoulder. “I wouldn’t have survived here without you. And I don’t just mean you rescuing me. Your company has been the biggest blessing I’ve received in a long time, Thresh.”

He didn’t respond, so you made to move your head from his shoulder to look at his face, but were stopped by a gentle hand on the back of your head.

“Could I ask you to stay like this, little human? Just for a bit longer?”

You hummed quietly, leaning into his side as his hand instead began to gently run over your hair, the glow of the lanterns illuminating the softly-flowing water before you.

 Your plan to slowly adapt Thresh to handling souls again had been going well; every day a new lantern lit up, and he was able to maintain his humanlike form outside the temple for longer and longer. No matter how much you tried to reassure him that you didn’t find his demonic form off-putting, he still seemed insistent to be in his “prettier” form as much as he could around you.

You knew he didn’t make the same effort when he wasn’t around you; every time he went on a run to the trading post, you saw him drop his humanlike form when he hit the trees and didn’t think your eyes were still on him. It had to have been a drain on him to stay in his purple-haired form as long as he could, but he never complained. You had come to find both of his forms… attractive, in their own respective ways, but it wasn’t like you could just openly tell him that. He was a spirit and you were a human, and besides that, your time here was limited.

You had been trying not to think about it, but your time here was almost up. You had three days left before you would go back to your usual life, a thought which only felt more painful considering the taste you had gotten of a better life, one where you weren’t some pariah. But you said nothing of your worries to Thresh; if you wanted to help him, you had to be strong and face the end of your time together with a smile on your face.

You had finally realized the extent of your feelings for Thresh, back a week ago sitting at the river’s edge with your head on his shoulder. At first you had dismissed the butterflies in your stomach as nothing more than situational; of course you would feel like this, he was the only man to ever really interact on a meaningful level with you, anyone in your situation would feel the same way. You told yourself that again and again, but it didn’t feel right. Eventually, you were forced to confront the truth; you weren’t feeling this way because he was a man who bothered to talk to you, you were feeling like this because he was the man he was.

He hadn’t offered you his shoulder since that night, but that didn’t mean that he was pulling away from you; in fact, it was quite the opposite. He seemed to have an incessant need to be close to you, and had insisted on holding your hand every day on your walks to and from the lake. You were unable to refuse the contact, as much as you knew it would hurt you in the end when you had to leave. Whenever he smiled that wide, toothy smile at you, you were putty in his hands.

You couldn’t bring yourself to pull away from him, so you allowed yourself to just enjoy his closeness for now, even if the impending end to your time together was slowly burning a hole in your chest. But even if you wanted to forget how little time you had left here, you couldn’t. You still had one more thing you had to do.

Thresh had gone on what was to be the last supply run while you were still here, promising to bring back a special tea he had heard about as well as more daifuku. You watched him go, waiting until you could no longer see his figure before you enacted your plan.

You soon wouldn’t be here to keep Thresh company, so you needed to make sure someone was. And given your limited interactions with other spirits in this world, the choice was easy to make.

It was obvious that Ahri cared about Thresh, but not to the detriment of the souls. But he had come so far, and you needed Ahri to see that. If you wanted to return Thresh to his former glory, her support would be vital.

You hadn’t seen her again since that day, but you had a feeling that she was still keeping an eye out for you. You knew that neither of them would reach out to each other on their own, their shame and pride too much for them to overcome by themselves, so you would take things into your own hands.

You retreated back to your room, snatching up the scroll and writing brush Thresh had given you when you had expressed an interest in drawing to help pass the time. Tearing off a section of the scroll, you began to write a letter to Ahri, asking her to come to the lake tomorrow at mid-morning.

After the ink had dried, you folded the note in half before making your way to the area behind the temple where you had spoken to Ahri before. Bending down, you placed the folded paper on the ground, then placing a large rock on top of it to keep it from fleeing with the wind.

Once the note was secured, you stood back up, looking out over the forest. If you had been on your spirit walk, you would have continued walking into the forest and onto the next temple, but right now was anything but an ordinary visit to the spirit world. You were having a hard time remembering which spirit’s temple was after Thresh’s on your route… was it the one with the arrow? Or maybe the one with the antlers carved into their pedestal?

Either way, you couldn’t see much of anything in the forest behind the temple. You knew it would be too much to hope to see a small fox lingering around, but you would have to trust that she would find the note and agree to meet you tomorrow. You knew that she wanted to see Thresh performing his duties as he once had, so you hoped that her curiosity of what could be would compel her to accept your invitation. She seemed to have faith in you, so you hoped that she still trusted your judgment.

There was no point standing out here, not knowing when Ahri would even come by, but you had never seen Thresh come back here, so you knew the note would be safe from anyone but Ahri finding it. So it was back inside for you to work on the idle work; Thresh had gotten you some new clothing to wear after noticing your discomfort with your blood-stained ceremonial robes, and you had been slowly trying to repair the stained and ripped clothing. Maybe you could finally sew up the hole in the shoulder before Thresh returned from the trading post.

The next day, you were walking with Thresh to the lake, trying not to let all of your worries show on your face, but it was hard not to think about all of the events that would soon be upon you. This would be your one and only chance to get Ahri and Thresh to make up, at least while you were still here. And more troubling still, today would be your last full day here; at ten o’clock tomorrow night, you would step back onto the silver path and leave this place behind for your regular life. Somehow the thought of walking through this place as spirit guardian sent sadness coursing through you, since when you walked the silver path again, you would no longer be able to see Thresh.

But you wouldn’t let Thresh know of your dour thoughts, putting a smile on your face as you talked about what a nice day it was, although that didn’t mean that your eyes didn’t begin to fervently scan the area once you arrived at the lake.

You were not as subtle as you thought, as Thresh turned his head to look back at the patch of trees you were currently eyeing.

“Does something trouble you? The azakana should not–”

“No, it’s nothing!” you quickly denied. “No azakana, just…”

Then you caught sight of something over Thresh’s shoulder, a fluffy-tailed little creature emerging from the bushes. This was it. You could feel your heart rate pick up considerably, your palms feeling sweaty as you felt the pressure for this to go well.

Why had you put off telling him until now? It just made things harder. But you couldn’t lie to yourself; every time you had wanted to warn him, he had looked at you with those soft eyes and you had chickened out.

In truth, you were scared. Even thinking of Ahri seemed to send Thresh’s mood downward, so how was he going to react when he found out that you had gone behind his back and met her, had invited her here now? It was selfish, but you just wanted to enjoy the rest of the time you had left until you had to tell him. You knew he would have every reason to cast you out early over this betrayal, but at the same time, it had to be done. You couldn’t continue to be selfish with such important things at stake.

“Thresh, there’s something I have to tell you,” you said, forcing each word out almost against your will.

“Are you alright?” he asked with a frown, one hand raising to cup your cheek. “If something is ailing you, I will–”

“I’m okay,” you said, trying to keep yourself together. “But there’s something you need to know. I met with Ahri.”

Thresh froze, his hand cold against your skin. Ahri had emerged fully from the brush by this point, but did not come any closer, her eyes on the scene before her. Turning your focus back to the spirit before you, you found Thresh staring down at you, waiting for an explanation, the pain in his face making you feel like you had thorns in your heart.

“The first time you left for the trading post, she came to see me. She was worried… worried that you would do the same thing with me that you used to do with souls.”

Thresh looked down, hand dropping from your cheek like you had burned him. His pulling away saddened you, but you had to keep going.

“I told her you weren’t like that anymore!” you exclaimed. “I told her that you’re a good person, Thresh. That you just needed help to restore your faith in yourself.”

“She told you about me?” Thresh’s voice was so quiet that it was hard to hear. “What I used to be… I had hoped you would never know. I fear I could not take your rejection too.”

You had expected anger, not this almost tangible sadness. Thresh’s breathing was shuddered, the spirit shrinking in on himself, unwilling to meet your eyes. He looked broken, and the sight hurt your heart so much that you found yourself reaching out to him, laying your hand over the cold metal of his golden jaw mask, fingers brushing against the purple skin of his face.

“I don’t care who you used to be,” you spoke, hoping your words would be enough to reach him. “I care about who you are now, Thresh. These past weeks I have seen a spirit who is more than worthy of taking care of human souls, and I wanted Ahri to see too. You’re both hurting, and I just wanted you to understand each other for once.”

“I can’t say I expected to see you like this, Thresh,” Ahri said, now in her shifted form as she walked towards you.

“Ahri…” Thresh pulled back from you to turn and face her.

“It’s been a long time,” she greeted. “But she’s right. This talk has been long overdue.”

“I am not…”

“Please, Thresh, just listen to her,” you implored him, taking his hand back in yours.

Thresh whispered your name, staring down at your joined hands for a long moment before relenting. “…very well.”

“Glad to see you listen to someone,” Ahri grinned, holding up her hands in mock surrender when faced with Thresh’s grumpy frown in response. “I’ve been wanting to talk with you for quite a while, but it didn’t feel right since I was the reason for our falling out.”

“You have done nothing I did not deserve, I know that now,” Thresh replied. “I do not deserve this duty, not when I am so weak to fall prey to my own wretched loneliness.”

“I’ve made mistakes too,” Ahri said. “I never realized that you felt like that, not until it was too late. We spirits have a responsibility to the souls of the dead, but we cannot forsake each other in the name of performing our duty. I failed you, Thresh, as a fellow spirit and as a friend.”

“I thought…” Thresh trailed off.

“Don’t get me wrong, you deserved the lecture I gave you,” Ahri said, voice light despite her harsh words. “But that little human of yours has made me realize that I can’t hold your past against you forever.”

A small splash had your collective attentions turning to the lake, where a new soul had appeared on the surface of the water, a gray-purple in color. It was lacking the furor of the first soul you had seen had, which Thresh had told you indicated that this was an expected death, the soul free of distress, but still needing guidance.

Thresh hadn’t moved, so you tried to urge him into action with a squeeze of his hand. His fingers clutched back at yours reflexively, reluctant white eyes sliding down to meet yours. You stared deeply into his eyes, trying to convey your confidence in him without words.

Then, as one final attempt. “Please.”

Thresh sighed, but it didn’t sound sad, instead having the tone of a parent indulging a child’s whim. “It seems I am unable to deny you anything.”

You let your hands slip apart, your attention moving back to Ahri as you suddenly remembered that she was there as well, much to your embarrassment. You were surprised to see her looking your way with a bittersweet smile on her face, her expression shifting to careful neutrality when she noticed that your eyes were on her.

Thresh approached the water’s edge, just like he had done every day for the past couple of weeks, beckoning the soul towards him. Your attention was split between watching him and looking at Ahri’s face for any clues on how she was feeling.

The air grew noticeably tense as the soul reached Thresh’s outstretched hand. Despite your faith in Thresh, you still held your breath as you watched him interact with the soul, waiting for him to release it into the air as he had done every time before. Looking over at Ahri, you found her just as tense as you if not more so, her jaw tight and body rigid as if she was expecting to spring into action at any moment.

Just as you began to feel like you couldn’t take your heightened nerves any longer, the soul passed through Thresh’s lantern before releasing into the air. The tension finally broke, and your body sagged forward in relief like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

“You were right,” Ahri whispered, her bright blue eyes still on Thresh. “I never thought I would see him like this again.”

“Will you… help him? After I go back to my village?” you whispered back.

Ahri sighed. “I’ll have to. I can’t imagine he’ll be feeling very well after you leave.”

“What?”

Ahri turned to you with a raised eyebrow. “I’ve been here for five minutes and I can see how he looks at you. How much he trusts you.”

“Ahri…”

Then Thresh turned back to you and the moment was broken. He looked so relieved that the questions you had for Ahri vanished from your mind. He was able to maintain his purple-haired form all the way back over to you, before his power waned again and his pale skin bled to vibrant purple again.

You wanted to congratulate him, to offer some words to let him know how proud you were of him, but the words again died as you met his eyes, saw his happy grin. But as happy as you were for him, his smile also made you feel hollow inside as the thought occurred to you that you wouldn’t be seeing it any more after tomorrow. The only man you had ever… ever <i>loved</i>, and you were about to lose him forever.

A sob tore from your throat, tears overflowing from your eyes and trailing down your cheeks. You cursed yourself, knowing you were ruining this important moment for Thresh, yet you were unable to stop the tears from coming.

Thresh cried out your name, rushing forward until he was stopped by Ahri stepping between the two of you.

“Do not get in my way, Ahri,” Thresh seethed, agitated.

“Stand down,” Ahri stressed gently. “I don’t need you making things worse with your worrying.”

“She is in pain, and I have vowed to protect her–”

“From <i>azakana</i>,” Ahri interrupted. “This time, let me help her. She needs a woman’s advice right now.”

“But–”

“It’s okay, Thresh,” you chimed in, desperately wiping at your wet eyes. You really didn’t want him to see you like this, crying over the inevitable. “Ahri’s right, it’s just… a girl issue.”

“We’re at the lake anyways,” Ahri said. “We’ll have a bath and talk and then I’ll bring her back to your temple. Does that work for you, sir protector?”

“A bath?” Thresh pouted.

“Don’t be jealous,” Ahri teased. “And besides, she still has your mark. You would know if anything happens to her in my care.”

“Thresh?” Your quiet voice turned his focus back to you, though he still looked sulky. “Could we have some of that new tea you bought when I get back?”

It took a few seconds, but eventually he nodded. “Of course.”

“You can stop worrying. I’ll take care of your precious human,” Ahri said with a grin. “Now, go. We have some girl time to start.”

Thresh levelled a stern look at Ahri, who didn’t bat an eye, but stepped out of the way at last to allow him access to you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Ahri,” you said. “But I wanted her to see that you could do this for herself.”

“I am not upset with you,” Thresh replied. “You have pulled me out of the darkness that has been suffocating me for too long. I only worry for you now... are you truly alright? I do not like to see your tears.”

“I’m okay,” you insisted. “Sorry I keep crying in front of you, but Ahri’s right, it’s just a girl issue.”

You felt bad stretching the truth, but you didn’t want to worry Thresh any more than you already had. Thankfully he accepted your explanation without much further trouble, but that didn’t mean he didn’t continue looking over his shoulder at you every few seconds for his entire walk back into the forest.

You and Ahri were silent as you watched him go, with you offering him a smile to reassure him every time he turned his head back to look until he was out of sight.

When he was gone at last, Ahri turned to you with a playful eye roll. “He’s so overprotective.”

“Um, I…” You weren’t sure what to say, but your cheeks felt too warm.

Ahri began to untie her obi, letting the garment fall to the ground and raising an eyebrow at your confused stare. “I wasn’t kidding about the bath. I’ve been needing a good soak after all the stress this month.”

You nodded, following her lead and undressing and getting into the crystal water with her. Ahri leaned back, closing her eyes and letting her tails fan out in the water.

You leaned back as well, dunking your hair in the water; if you were here, you might as well take the opportunity to wash yourself. Neither of you spoke, just enjoying the cool water, until Ahri finally broke the silence.

“I’ll have my hands full after tomorrow night,” she said. “Thresh is going to be even worse than he was all those years ago after he loses you.”

“But he still has you,” you protested.

“You really don’t get it?” she countered. “Nobody here could reach him, not until you came along. You mean more to him than a thousand human souls. And I can see you feel the same way for him as he does for you.”

“What does it matter?” you replied, knowing you were owning up to her allegations. “What can I do when we only have one more day together? It will only hurt worse if I tell him my feelings and then we have to part forever. I don’t want to hurt him more.”

Ahri sighed. “But what about you? You don’t think he cares if you’re hurting?”

“I’m used to it,” you dismissed with a sad smile. “Loneliness is expected with the life I live. I learned long ago that there was nothing I could do to change people’s minds about me. But Thresh talked to me, he let me experience what it was like to feel like someone cares… that is enough for me.”

Ahri was silent for a long moment. “Fine. I see you have your mind made up, but just remember where the ones who care about you truly are.”

 The talk with Ahri had really helped you calm down, and had solidified your feelings about the rest of your time with Thresh. Even if he did feel for you like you did for him like she had said, there was no point in doing anything about it right before you were to be parted forever. Just spending time with him the same way you had been was enough; then both of you would not suffer more in the end.

Thresh had long since prepared the special tea by the time you had got back and had been waiting in the entryway like a dog that missed its owner. You were grateful that Ahri had helped you calm down enough to simply enjoy the time you had left with Thresh, even spending that evening at the river’s edge again, Thresh insistently maneuvering your head onto his shoulder. You knew that you would remember this night for the rest of your life. But the moment could not stretch on forever, much as you would have liked it to, and soon your time here was coming to its end.

You had both been trying to act normal all day the next day, like you weren’t being slowly suffocated by the reality that you would soon have to part. You had drawn out that evening’s teatime long after the tea was drank and the daifuku was eaten. Only when it was half an hour to ten did you finally acknowledge the inevitable, returning to your room for the last time to don your ceremonial clothing for your return to your village.

Would they fear you even more now that you had survived the unsurvivable? It wasn’t like they could avoid you much more than they already did.

An unfamiliar weight as you pulled your skirt on had you reaching into your pocket to pull out the bell Ahri had gifted you at the end of your first meeting. At first, you considered giving it to Thresh to return to her, but selfishly decided against it. Ahri was very astute, so you had no doubt that she realized you still had the bell and seemed fine to let you keep it. And as sad as you would be to think of this place come tomorrow, you couldn’t help but grasp onto this physical reminder of your time here, even if Ahri’s promise of help would not extend to your world as well.

Stowing the bell back in your pocket, you fixed your outfit into place. You had long since repaired the hole in the shoulder, but you had never quite been fully successful in removing the bloodstains from the white garments. You would likely have to replace them with new robes when you got back.

Your steps to the entryway where Thresh was waiting felt so heavy, the air around you like walking through sand, as if your sad reluctance was palpable. But this was your role in life. You would have to just be grateful that you were given the time here that you were.

Entering the front room, you found Thresh standing near the door, his long ears drooped in the way they always were when he was upset. You wished you could do something to help him feel better, but it was hard when you were feeling the same way that he was right now.

“I’m ready,” you said, drawing his attention to you. “Though my bloody clothes will probably give the people in my village a scare.”

“You look beautiful,” Thresh replied softly, sending warmth to your cheeks with his unexpected compliment.

You managed to stutter out a thank you before following Thresh out to the front of the temple, the trees looking very similar under the moonlight as they had that night one month ago when this had all begun.

You knew that you had very little time left, your tongue feeling like lead in your mouth. What could you possibly say to convey everything you were feeling? No words felt like enough right now.

Thresh stepped towards you, quickly taking you into his arms in a tight hug. He seemed determined to maintain his humanlike form until the last possible second, which you let him have without complaint. You didn’t care what form he took, they had both become so precious to you.

“My sweet little human, I will miss you more than you know,” he murmured above your head, holding you close.

“I’ll miss you too… so much,” you replied, still unwilling to completely bare your soul to him. It would be easier for you both this way. You knew it would.

“My tea will taste bitter again,” Thresh added, voice wavering. “This place will feel empty again without you.”

“You’ll see me again,” you said tearfully. “You’ll be here to greet my soul when it arrives here, won’t you?”

“That is not enough,” Thresh retorted miserably. “I want to see your face every day. I want to hear your voice call my name. I do not want to guide your soul in death, I want you here with me in life. No soul will ever have the same worth to me as your living one.”

“Thresh,” you sobbed against his chest. “I don’t want to go, but I have to. I have to…”

“My beautiful human,” Thresh addressed you, pulling back from the hug to look down at you. “May I ask for one final indulgence from you?”

He leaned down towards you, clearly laying his feelings on the table the closer his lips got to yours.

“Please,” you whispered, closing your eyes. You had not expected this, but found yourself wanting so desperately to kiss Thresh. One kiss to remember him by as long as you lived.

You waited, feeling him close the gap, when you were startled by a spark of feeling in your hand, like you had been zapped by lightning.

You weren’t given a second to react before you were violently yanked from the ground and into the air. Letting out a terrified scream, you watched Thresh get farther and farther away the higher into the air you rose.

Your arms and legs constricted, you were only able to move your head to look at your captor, the blood freezing in your veins at the familiar multi-horned face that loomed maliciously over you.

“You could not hide forever,” the azakana hissed. “I will not be denied the taste of your flesh and blood.”

You heard an anguished cry of your name, looking back down to see Thresh below you on the ground, his form reverted back to his demonlike form.

“Release her!” he seethed, shocking you with the rage in his voice. He had removed his hook from his belt and was holding it up as if ready to strike.

“You have no power here,” the azakana taunted. “If you strike me, she will fall. Either way, your puny human will die.”

“Thresh!” you shouted, the azakana squeezing you tighter in its wormlike body in response, your body burning in pain.

Thresh shouted your name again, sounding increasingly more desperate as the azakana stared haughtily down at him.

You could see the silver path now, winding around the temple. You had dreaded that sight all of today, but now it felt miles away. As you were constricted tighter and tighter in the azakana’s hold, everything began to fade farther away. The only thing you could focus on was the anguish on Thresh’s face, the sheer powerlessness of your situation clear.

“You will die!” Thresh seethed. “You hurt her, and you will perish as well!”

“Then I will have a good last meal,” the azakana countered. “Her tasty fear will keep me satisfied in the darkness of death.”

Your hands were pressed tightly to your sides painfully tightly, one hand pressing against a hard lump at your side. You were lamenting the pain from the mystery lump until it hit you; Ahri’s bell was still in your pocket. She had promised help, though you doubted she expected you to use it like this, but you were beyond desperate.

Wiggling a hand up and into your pocket, you gritted your teeth against the severe pain in your body as you clasped your fingers around the bell, shaking it as much as you could given your current movement restrictions.

“Please, Ahri, please!” you begged quietly, the azakana’s cruel laughter ringing out above your head, black spots starting to dot your vision from your prolonged constraint.

You couldn’t hear the bell make any noise, but shook it in your closed fist until your hand felt too numb to move. You were wheezing, trying desperately to breathe, about to pass out when you were forced to close your eyes to avoid being blinded by a bright flash of light.

The azakana’s body curled ever tighter around you, and then that pressure loosened all at once, restoring your lost breath to your aching body. Looking over at the source of the bright light, you saw a figure with snow white skin and hair, bright teal tails flared out behind her.

Ahri did not waste a second, charging at the demon again, her foxfire burning a hole through the monster, who shrieked in pain as it was cleaved in two by Ahri’s fierce attacks. The creature was dead, but that left you high in the air with a worm demon’s body that was about to uncurl and send you plummeting to your death.

“Thresh!” Ahri yelled, her voice distorted with a ferocity you hadn’t known she had in her.

The dead azakana’s body went limp and you slipped from its grip, quickly falling towards the ground. You stared at the coming ground, terror chilling your sore limbs as you fell closer and closer to your death.

Suddenly you were surprised by a shout of your name, followed by an object appearing in your field of vision. As you fell closer to it, you realized that it looked familiar, quickly recognizing it as Thresh’s lantern.

“Take hold of it!” Thresh shouted, and you did your best to obey, shifting your body in the air to reach out for the lantern with the last of your strength.

You were barely able to make it, the tips of your fingers just grazing the ethereal lantern, but the effect was immediate. Like an elastic pulled to its limit, you were instantly snapped through the air, landing harmlessly against Thresh’s body.

Thresh’s arms were tight around you as you sunk into his body, feeling boneless with relief.

“I feared I would lose you to that demon,” Thresh spoke quietly. “I could do nothing, I–”

“You pulled me to safety. I wouldn’t call that nothing,” you replied against his chest.

“But you were hurt…” he protested.

“You sure know how to attract trouble,” came Ahri’s voice from behind you.

You turned around, still in Thresh’s arms as he refused to let you go. You watched as Ahri’s all-white form faded, replaced by her usual appearance.

“Ahri, thank you!” you exclaimed, doing your best to bow to her with Thresh’s arms still stubbornly wrapped around your waist.

“Well, I gave you that bell for a reason,” she replied. “I’m just glad I got here in time.”

“I owe you–”

“You owe me nothing,” she replied dismissively. “I was just repaying the debt that this world owes you for returning Thresh to us.”

“Still,” you protested. “You liked that inari sushi I brought before, I can bring you more next month!”

“No,” Ahri declined sternly. “I have something different I want from you… stay here.”

“Stay?” you echoed. “But my village…”

“Your village does not appreciate what they have,” Ahri argued. “I won’t allow you to return to those ingrates when you have people here who want you to stay.”

“What do you mean?” you asked.

Ahri smirked. “I’ve talked to the other spirits and they all agree. We would like to offer to make you one of us, but I’m afraid we require the consent of one more spirit… Thresh?”

You felt Thresh go rigid behind you. “I give my consent.”

“That was fast!” Ahri laughed. “But there you have it. Become one of us.”

“But the deal with my village…” you weakly disputed, despite your heart singing at the offer.

“The deal is over,” she answered. “We will not harm the village, but they will no longer be under our protection. They will find a way to coexist with the mountain, or they will die, but they must find their own way now.”

She was right, and both of you knew it. Why were you so determined to go back to a place that couldn’t care less if you lived or died. If you took her offer, then you could stay here with Thresh. It was all you wanted, but you were struggling to make that choice and be selfish for once in your life.

“You’ve lived for them for too long,” Ahri said. “It’s time that you lived for yourself.”

You took a deep breath as you stared at her outstretched hand. If you took her offer, then you would never return to your village again, but thinking about it now, that knowledge felt like a relief. You could live amongst people who actually cared about you, the happiness that realization brought almost indescribable. With one decision, you would sever ties with your former way of life, and you found yourself excitedly reaching out for Ahri’s hand, a satisfied skin on her face as her nails bit slightly against the skin of your palm.

A light surrounded your joined hands, followed by a gentle warmth on the back of your hand in the same spot that had held your mark of protection from Thresh. Pulling your hand back, you now found that it beheld a beautiful pink flower that seemed to glow supernaturally under the moonlight.

“It’s done,” Ahri announced happily. “You belong to this world now. And with your new level of power, the azakana will keep away.”

You looked behind her to the large azakana corpse that was still laid over the temple grounds, its upper half partially-submerged in the river that separated Thresh’s temple from the forest.

“Go ahead, touch its body,” Ahri instructed, sending a stern look Thresh’s way so he would finally let you out of his arms.

Ahri gave you a nod, smiling smugly as you took hesitant steps forward and coming to a stop before the lower section of the creature’s body. Looking quickly back to Ahri for confirmation, you reached out and quickly tapped the corpse with your fingers before pulling your hand back.

Instantly, the body began to disintegrate, a pink fire burning along both ends of its body until it was no more, your memories the only indication that it had ever been here at all.

“And that’s what will happen to any azakana that dares to touch you,” Ahri boasted. “Now, I think it’s time I left you two alone. We can save the introductions to the other spirits for another time.”

With a wink, she reverted to her fox form before darting across the bridge and into the trees. As you watched her go, you realized that the silver path wasn’t there anymore. This was it, you were finally free.

A soft call of your name had you turning back to Thresh, who was staring at you like you were the moon itself. You took slow steps towards him, quickly picking up your pace to sprint into his arms.

“I can stay!” you cried, wrapping your arms tightly around him. Pulling slightly back from the embrace, you looked up at him with a teasing grin. “Does this mean your tea will taste good again?”

You barely had a second’s warning before Thresh’s lips were on yours. You let out a surprised moan, eyes fluttering closed to enjoy the sensation.

While you didn’t mind Thresh’s demonic form, the gold jaw armor he wore was a different story as it cut into your skin. Pulling back to a kiss-dazed Thresh, you held up a hand to stop him from going in for another kiss, tapping the metal of his jaw mask.

“I had not realized… I have gotten so used to my mask that I forgot,” Thresh admitted.

“It’s fine,” you replied. “Let’s go back inside so you can shift into your other form and we can keep kissing.”

Thresh could not comply fast enough.

You had barely gotten inside before Thresh took you into his arms, leaving you scrambling to grab onto his vest to steady yourself.

“I would have never thought that I could keep you,” Thresh spoke warmly. “It was too much to hope that you would feel the same way as I do.”

“No, it wasn’t,” you countered as Thresh strolled to the back hall. “I didn’t want to go, but I felt like I had to. But Ahri is right, my place is here, with you.”

Thresh grinned happily as he stopped in front of a door halfway down the hallway; his room. You were filled with curiosity as he shifted you around in his arms so he could open the door. You had never even caught a glimpse of Thresh’s room, not wanting to invade his privacy, so this would be your first time seeing it.

The moment he stepped inside, the room lit up with a gentle purple-tinted glow from an assortment of small orbs on the ceiling. The room was not lavish by any means, a large bed sat in the center alongside a chest of drawers. On the wall was a mountainscape painting not unlike yours, but this one was darker, like a mountain at night, the painting dotted with small circles of light that reminded you of souls.

As Thresh placed you down on the futon, you noticed something on top of the drawers. “Is that… my fan?”

Atop the drawers sat a fan, decorated with flowers of varying purples that you had painted on yourself. That had been among the first gifts you had delivered, back seven months ago now.

You looked from the fan to Thresh, who looked back at you with fondness in his eyes. “In my isolation, the gifts were my only joy, yours more so than any I have received before.”

“Thresh…” You hadn’t thought you could like him any more, but seeing how he had taken such care of the gifts you had brought him made your heart warm all over again.

Thresh joined you on the futon, leaning down until his face was inches from your own.

“My dear human,” Thresh whispered, bringing a hand up to your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. “Would you allow me just one more indulgence?”

You leaned your face into his palm, part of you wanting to shy away, but the larger part of you wanting this so badly that you couldn’t bear to wait one more second. “Please.”

Thresh readily locked lips with you again, laying your body down on the futon and quickly covering you with his own body, all while refusing to break the kiss. You were quickly becoming overwhelmed by the intensity of his kisses, letting out a moan as his tongue finally brushed against your own.

You weren’t sure what to do with your hands, settling with pressing them against his bare chest. His long side bangs draped down over you, tickling the skin at the collar of your shirt, his sudden warmth making your long clothing feel suffocating.

“My clothes,” you panted, pulling back from the kiss. “Take them off.”

Thresh stared down at you, want in his eyes as he reached down to untie the knots that held your top together. However, it quickly became clear that Thresh was unused to the working of shirts, maybe due to not wearing one himself for so long, as the ties on your shirt seemed to mystify him.

“Just rip it off,” you whined, trying not to laugh at him or the cute look of intense focus on his face. “Now that I’m staying, it’s not like I need these robes anymore.”

Thresh’s eyes flashed, and with one quick motion, his nails split your shirt, skirt and underwear down the middle with a rip that was faster than your eyes could follow.

“…I apologize,” he said, cheeks pink. “Your words always seem to overpower my reason.”

Peeling away your now-ruined clothing, Thresh rested one hand on your breast, cupping it gently with his palm. His touch sent a visible shiver through your hypersensitive skin, your reaction giving Thresh the confidence to touch you more boldly, leaning down to get his mouth on your breasts.

You squirmed under him, his attention to your breasts sending pulses of heat to the apex of your thighs. Your wandering hand drifted up to take a gentle hold on the longer of his horns, Thresh letting out a deep groan against your breasts at the contact.

Raising your other hand to his smaller horn, Thresh was finally forced to pull back from your horns with a moan staring at you with eyes dark with lust as he panted.

“I fear I may lose all restraint if I continue to allow you to touch my horns,” Thresh admitted, sitting back and looking like some sort of demon of temptation under the soft lighting of the room. “I do not want to force anything upon you.”

“You aren’t,” you replied. “You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted like this. I don’t want to do this with anyone but you, Thresh.”

Thresh stared down at you for a moment before a grin took over his face. “I do not think I will ever keep a soul again. Nothing in this world compares to you, my love.”

Thresh’s loving gaze was making you feel shy, but he quickly distracted you by reaching a hand to his other biceps, pulling off his glove before tossing it to the side where your ripped clothes laid. His hook and lantern were set to the side with more care, quickly being joined by his vest to leave his upper half totally bare.

He normally wore an open vest, so his well-defined abdomen wasn’t a new sight for you, but somehow seeing his nude upper body now felt all new in this context. You watched, transfixed, as Thresh’s biceps bulged out slightly as he stood up to remove his belt to free his hakama pants to be removed next. How had you managed to worm your way into the heart of such a beautiful man? It was so hard to believe that you had gone from being a social pariah to laying here, about to experience an act so intimate that you had thought it would be forever out of your reach.

Thresh let his hakama pants fall to the ground, stepping out of them and kicking them gently to the side. Now fully naked, Thresh’s body was as exposed as yours, his cock so hard that it was pointed straight out in your direction. You shuddered with anticipation, the sight of the handsome spirit unclothed making you feel even more wet between your legs.

Thresh returned to you, settling above you, the tips of his ears as flushed with excitement as his cheeks were. “I do not think I will ever grow tired of seeing you like this.”

Thresh took hold of your legs, looking down at you, noting the want in your own face before he wrapped your legs around his sides, which brought your hips close together. With your bodies sufficiently close, Thresh took his cock in hand, lining himself up to close the final distance between your bodies as he began to slide effortlessly into you, the feeling making both of you moan.

Finding no resistance, Thresh was easily able to slide fully into you, the very tip of his cock settling against somewhere inside you that made your back arch.

“Nothing has ever felt like this,” Thresh choked out as he began to move, the feeling of his cock against your most sensitive spots sending your eyes fluttering closed as you gripped at the sheets under you. “I have never desired anything like I desire you, my little human.”

You tried your best to keep up with his pace, but it was all so much, each movement of his hips bringing you closer and closer to your end. Thresh was more than happy to make up for your hazy brain, keeping up his tempo, his desperate groans of your name sending your heartbeat soaring as you moaned his own back to him.

You were getting really, really close, each thrust Thresh made earning a cry from you as you opened your eyes, tugging his face down as you were overcome with the need to kiss him.

With Thresh even closer, his pelvis began to brush against your clit every time he sank back into you, the resulting increase in pleasure almost too much to take.

“Those humans will never get you back,” Thresh groaned possessively. “They will never see how beautiful you look like this.”

You wanted to reply, to say something, but you couldn’t find the words, clutching Thresh tightly as you came, eyes closing tight as his following thrusts allowed you to ride out the sensations until finally Thresh stilled as well.

Pulling himself gently out of you, he laid down next to you, pulling you to him. You happily snuggled against his chest, feeling tired, but more at peace than you had ever been.

“Thresh,” you whispered, getting a short hum in response. “What you said…”

“What you said earlier about Ahri being right,” came his reply. “This may be the first time I have agreed with her in a long while. Your people have forsaken quite a great treasure to me, one that will cost them so much.”

You pulled back from his chest, waiting for him to say more. It was embarrassing how addicted you were to his praise, but you couldn’t help yourself after so many years of neglect.

“Of course, if you ever wish to return–”

“I won’t,” you quickly denied.

Thresh grinned as he leaned in for another kiss. “Then we will enjoy our forever right here, my sweet little human.”

You had no complaints, closing your eyes as you kissed the man you loved, mentally thanking that thorned branch that had led to you finding the place where you belonged.

[thekillingjoke-haha]

Love And Marriage

Spnquotebingo @spnquotebingo

Quote: You don't save a marriage by sleeping with other people.–Lucifer

Mostly Memory: slant/bold. Quote:small/bold

"What the hell, Anthony!" She yelled scaring both brunettes in the bed she shared with him. The women who looked half her age scrambled off the bed in a rush and ran out of the room getting dressed as she ran out the tower. This time she was throwing objects at the genius screaming and swearing every word under the sun. And yes this wasn't the first time, but its sure as hell will be the last. "How could you do this to me!? Time and time again I forgive and you do it again!!" She tried taking control of her emotions, but they over took her and laid everything out on the table.

Tony slipped on his clothes yelling back and forth with his wife. It was a screaming match that all of New York could hear. "Maybe if you weren't such a controlling bitch I wouldn't need to rush into the arms of a women that would get off my back!" He yelled back and she was stunned into silence. Tony continued talking. "Ever since we been together you've been trying to change who I am and I got sick of it, but you were America's golden girl I couldn't dump you. You just couldn't take the hint ,sweetheart." He finished his intoxicated words got the better of him, but drunk words were sober thoughts and maybe this is exactly how he felt after all these years.

"I want a divorce." She said her voice shaking not wanting to cry in front of the man she loved and she thought loved her back. "What?!" He turned on his heels and stared at her the shouting didn't sober him up, but those four words did. "What did you say?" He asked as if he didn't hear her. "I'm through, Tony. I'm tired of this back and forth. You said it yourself your not willing to change your partying playboy ways so I'm through." She said as she went to get her phone to call her brother. "I want a divorce." Those were the final words uttered to him before she stopped talking to him all together taking off the ring made from the metal of his original reactor the diamond glowing the same blue that lulled her to sleep. Y/n twirled the ring in-between her fingers a nervous habit after the years.

Steve got to the tower from his apartment along with Bucky and Sam. His two friends walked into her bedroom to hear Tony shouting and pleading for her to listen to him. Steve went to his sister as his friends pulled the thrashing man out of the room and to a different part of the building so he could cool off. Tony in the end didn't calm down and was getting violent to the point they had to knock him out and by then Y/n was getting packed with the help of Steve

The suitcase was harshly zipped up as she rushed closing it. Tears flowed freely down her face as she packed all her things well all the things she bought herself. She wasn't running, running was for cowards she was escaping before she drowned herself in whatever kind of love she once had with her husband. Y/n breathed in through her nose as her body convulsed with another fit of silent sobs. Trying to calm down she wanted to get think clear. Did she really want to leave? No, but he didn't give her much of a choice. The light tan line on her finger just further proved she wasn't turning back...not this time. Not even for him. Y/n needed time to think without the threat of the end of the world and out from under her now ex's crushing ego.

She was shacking with anger and in grief it happened again and she was done with it all. Tony fucking Stark her husband, lover, best friend cheated on her again for the third time that she knew of. Y/n saw it she was always there at the wrong time almost like he wanted her to see how pleased he was with another. Steve came out of the bathroom with more hygiene products. "How are you feeling? Are you okay?" He asked for what feels like the hundredth time. Steve knew Y/n wasn't okay he could see it and the sight made him want to rip Stark a new one. With a deep inhale she looked up at him with s slight smile as real as she could make it. "I'm okay I just need to get out of here. Fresh air. New scenery if possible." She said as she looked longingly at a picture on the nightstand not noticing that her brother left with her bags while she stared off. The picture was of her fifth date with Tony after being together as boyfriend and girlfriend for two years, a light festival their first openly public date for cameras to capture them together making it official. America's Sweetheart with a Playboy billionaire...that headline alone should have been the first of many red flags.

The memory played vividly in her mind. Her eyes shined like stars as she dragged him behind her. It was still light outside and the small park was crowded. "Come on, Tones!" She said excitedly as she dragged him along. Many people looked at them and whispered, but they didn't care. They spent the night talking about any and everything it felt so natural. Y/n stared into the sky on their picnic blanket having already painted her lantern with a good amount of wet paint still on her hands. "We've been on what feels like a million dates and this seems like the perfect one to ask you. Will you marry me?" Tony said holding a black velvet box with a f/c diamond ring. "I thought you'll never ask!" She pulled him into a kiss paint covering his cheeks as lanterns where released. He kissed back hands resting on her hips. "Let's go home Mrs.Stark-Rogers." Tony said with a smile. "Well come on then Mr.Rogers-Stark." He was once again dragged away. "No no no my name first Steve will not hold that over me!" Y/n giggled as the memory faded into a much older one.

The twelve year old girl was getting her hair brushed by her mother. "Mama what's love like. I know you love daddy so what's it like?" She asked it's been two years since her father died ,but her mother always said she stilled loves him. "Love is a amazing feeling that doesn't happen often and sometimes it can hurt." The blonde women said to her daughter she couldn't tell her wanting love cost more then giving it. "Why will it hurt?" The young h/c girl asked turning around. "You're to young to know right now, but at some point you will." By the time Y/n turned fifteen she learned that loving someone can hurt after she stood next to her brother and best friend looking at the slab of stone that marked their mother's grave.

The first time it happened she was pissed, but not at the right person at the time. The second red flag.. Screams are what filled the house as Y/n threw clothes at the tramp that was in bed with her drunk husband. She was so anger, but that just hid the pain she was feeling three years for him to cheat. After shutting the half clothes harlot out on the front porch of the Malibu home she stormed back to Tony. He stayed in his boxers on the bed looking dazed he was drunk. "Why?" Is all she could ask as tears fell down her cheeks. The billionaire stood up and walked toward her he wiped her tears. "I'll change. I promise." He kissed her head. She believed him she had faith that he couldn't change for them. After all Y/n did the same she gave up being a hero along side her brother because he told her he already worries about getting home to her as Ironman no need to add the stress of not knowing if she'll get home. So she hung up her red, white, and blue catsuit for him.

After a year Y/n sat in her art studio wear she sold her and other rising artist artwork after Tony said she shouldn't paint in the tower,she painted with her brother laughing messing with colors. She was thankful she put down plastic tarp beforehand a giggle rang out when Natasha walked through the door. Without saying anything she drops a magazine on the table of brushes next to Y/n. On the cover was Tony kissing some red head though a window tears welled in her eyes as she wiped her hands he eyes not leaving the cover till it was picked up off the table. Natasha comforted her as Steve took the magazine and paced. " Am I stupid for trusting him? Thinking he would change?" She asked as the waterworks flowed. "No ,if anyone is stupid its him. Ever since he came out as Ironman he thought he was untouchable. God imma kill him!" The red head said while Steve was flexing his hand not wanting to hit any of the stored art pieces. The third red flag for all to see.

The bus rocked back and forth as she looked over at her brother sleeping next to her. They were heading to the airport and he was going to see her off before possibly killing Tony. Speaking of she looked down at her phone and saw dozens of missed calls and hundreds of unread text. She felt that the world was so much bigger after leaving, after getting away from the place that no longer felt like a home. Turning back to the window a memory came to surface as a teenage girl sat on the bus watching old Brooklyn go by. She thought life was so slow she wanted to grow up faster and experience life. Y/n wanted to find love like her parents had. "What are you thinking about doll?" She turned and in Steve's place was Bucky her adoptive big brother. "Nothing important, James." She said with a sigh as the old modeled cares turned back to modern vehicles and yellow taxi's.

Tony woke up and ran around the tower while calling and texting his wife. "Friday track Y/n' s phone. He said as he went to the lab to get in his suit. "She's as NYC airline." The irish voice answered as he stepped into the suit letting it close around him. Before the hatch could open completely he was flying out of the tower to the airport. "Any idea which flight?" He asked wanting to get there before it's to late. "No boss, but the next flight leaving is heading for U.K and boarding in fifteen minutes." Time was running out he needed ever second he could spare. "We'll make it in ten." That night Ironman flew to save whatever he had left.

Y/n held her ticket in her shaking hands her breath uneven. Steve left after the bus dropped her off they said their goodbyes not making the separation hurt any less. Her thoughts came back to Tony all the good times made her smile, but the dark clouds took them over soon after. It felt so right to be in his arms thinking about the future they had with each other within seconds that became a distant memory. What's sad is she wants to go back wondering if she held on to those moments longer they'll last forever. The ring she slipped back on her finger weighed a ton. Y/n didn't have the strength to take it off not for good at least and this made her feel weak. Pain was heavy in her heart from the constant ache, but the little voice kept saying maybe if we tried harder he would have loved us the way we love him, maybe rushing into a relationship wasn't the best idea, maybe he's happier without us ,maybe not telling him about the positive test was the best option ,maybe...maybe.

A hand resting on her stomach she wanted to laugh, but that would have brought on a fresh wave of tears. She started off the day without Tony in bed and sicker then she's been since her pre-serum years. Y/n went to the doctor completely covered form any prying eyes and the test were clear she couldn't believe it she took about ten test in her studio bathroom before heading back to the tower. Howard warned her and Steve that the serum might sterilize them, but at the time both of them were to small and sickly and she knew getting pregnant might kill her anyways so they both agreed to it. Y/n wished she could hug the man today he made her better and let her have a gift she never thought was possible. A baby was growing inside her. Tony never really talked about kids and neither did she since that wasn't a possibility before, but the moment she held five of the clearer test she wanted to rush into his arms and have him be the first to know. That quickly fell apart that evening and now she's here.

The suit landed out side the airport and Tony immediately ran out of it into the building looking through his tented shades he followed the path Friday set for him rushing through security. "Now boarding flight A145 to United Kingdom. Ahora aborda—" The intercom rang out. He was running out of time. There he saw h/c hair one of a couple dozen in line due to the oddly timed flight. "Y/N!!" Many heads turned at the shout while so gasped and whispers started. She looked at him and froze. His eyes looked bloodshot and he wore baggy sweats and a AC/DC shirt. Turning back around she tried to get on the plane quicker, but a hand grabbed her arm. "Please listen to me. I'm so so sorry! I'm a fucking moron okay? I know I just keep screwing up between us and I know you're tired of me saying I'll change, but if it means I keep you in my life I'll do damn near anything." Tony's voice shook as his eyes welled with tears people crowed to see the Starks some seemed to clued in on the subject while others were lost. "You can't fix this Tony. There's nothing to fix between us you said your piece and actions speak louder then words there is no saving this." Y/n whimpered holding her hand in her own.

"I can save us, N/n! Please just give me a chance too. You and me against the world right?" She shook her head no as she looked into his brown eyes with her glassy e/c ones. "Wrong. You just don't get it do you? You don't save a marriage by sleeping with other people. And I gave you more then enough chances to change because God I changed so much for you!! I gave up saving people, gave up painting in the tower, stopped helping Pepper with business, stopped going to briefings, and so much more. All for you and you couldn't do one thing for me." With quivering hands she gently brushed the tears from his cheeks letting her hands go from his shoulders to his hands. "I loved you, Anthony. I always will have a special place in my heart for you, but clearly the same doesn't go for you." Y/n now held one of his hands bringing his knuckles to her lips giving them a chaste kiss.

She let go of his hand as she stepped back from him many of the passengers having already boarded the plane. "Don't say goodbye." He said voice small and weak. "...don't think of this as a goodbye. We just met at the wrong time in the wrong place. Maybe I'll come back to you and just maybe we can start again from the beginning, but until then this is a see you later." She turned and went on board as he stood their feet glued the the floor. Looking down at the hand she held the ring sat in his palm she left him with a piece of his heart while she took the rest with her. What is a marriage without love

————————————————————————————————————————————

A/n this is the second to last one before the full masterlist is posted. Fyi I wrote a happy ending and if it's really wanted I'll make a short one-shot of it but angst ending for now.

Next quote is a free space and I'm going ham!!!!

[smutsonian]

ma'am may we have some dark king steve or chris smuts thank ya ma'am

your king

king!steve rogers x reader

warnings: dark!steve rogers, noncon, loss of virginity, violence, multiple deaths, this lowkey scared me, i feel sorry for your cold back :( ,i never do proofreading, my brain farted this fic out soz bout that 

word count: 2.2k 

an: wat da feuk this is not a fucking drabble also, i tried to use ‘medieval’ words and you could probably tell by reading the first paragraph but that didn’t work out so the ending went wack ratatata also, omg this my first medieval au so go easy on me

masterlist

The snow that used to be a picturesque scenery was now everything but not. The usual sight of white snow blanketing every house in the little town that your family reigned and your people prancing around the crystalline surface of the snow was reshaped into something sinister. The once affable little town turned into an appalling mess of a borough. The white snow was now covered in the crimson liquid that once belonged to the people you considered as friends. The crystalline ice that was once filled with joyous laughter from the younglings was now filled with choking sounds from the bodies that are desperately trying to latch onto dear life as their slit throats paint the clear surface with the color of maroon.

The man who orchestrated the massacre of your family and the people of your town called himself many titles. His face was filled with pride when he introduced himself in front of your family. He called himself King Steve, the King of all kings, Maker of Change, Conqueror of Lands, and the Holder of the Shield. It was a lot of titles and everyone from your town was confused until the proud look on the intruder’s face turned into a sickening grin. Everyone soon discovered what it meant when his men started the attack. Your town is known for being a peaceful area and having peaceful townsfolks, no one the heart or the mastery of wielding a sword so it was only a matter of time before everyone you knew went down. The man who’s called King Steve made your royal family watch as his men slaughtered your people. After your town was filled with nothing but blood and carcasses, King Steve told your father of his plans.

 He told your father that he will no longer be the king and your mother will no longer be the queen, however, you were to be his queen. When he then turned to you with a foul smile before making long strides over to you, your father forced himself up from his kneeling position to step in front of you with a protective stance. “You’re not going to touch her.” You never heard your father speak with so much hatred and venom in his voice. King Steve laughed dryly before he raised an eyebrow to your father. “What are you going to do, stop me?”

 Your father’s face was filled with determination when he nodded at the man. “Are you certain that you’ll fight me? You can give me your greatest warrior and I can fight him instead.” He then looks around in an exaggerated manner before looking back at your father with a smirk. “Oh, right... All of your people are dead.” He continued on taunting your father until your father’s voice boomed. “I will fight you and in return, you’ll leave my family alone.” Your father never looked mightier than at that moment. The man gave a small laugh before nodding and getting into a fighting stance.

 Your mother was looking at your father with fearful eyes, quietly praying for the gods to look after him while you were watching everything unfold in front of you. Your father turned to look at you and your mother before giving both of you a reassuring smile. Everything happened so fast because the moment your father turned back around; the man’s huge hands made its way to your father’s head before snapping it to the side with a loud crack. Your father fell limp on the floor and your mother let out a shrill scream. The man clapped his hands before smiling at your mother. “You should never turn your back on the enemy. A simple rule when it comes to combat.” He shrugged before kicking your father’s body before turning to walk towards you once more.

 Your eyes widened in shock when your mother let out a scream as she stood up, running towards the man with a small dagger clasped in her hand. Before she could stab the man’s back, he turned around and held her armed hand and prying it away from her. He held her body against his chest as he looked at you. Your mother looked at you as well, tears continuously falling down her face. ‘I’m sorry’ she mouths before the man plunged the dagger down her chest all the while watching for your reaction. You couldn’t do anything but to watch as the life left your mother’s face and your father lying dead on the floor.

 “She’s got more fight in her than your father did, I must admit.” The man wiped the blood on the dagger with your mother’s dress before pocketing it. “Why are you doing this?” It was your first time speaking and it was the first time he heard you speak, thus the smile appeared on his face. “So, the princess does speak. I was worried I’ll have a mute queen by my side.” He walks over to your father, bending down to take the huge robe covered with fur from your father’s body and putting it on. He looked back at you before grinning. “Do I look like a proper king now?”

 “You’ll never be a king” You gritted your teeth before spitting on the space in front of his feet. He made a quick move towards you before gripping your face and glaring at you as his nose flared in anger. “I just killed your so-called king. I have killed lots of kings who weren’t strong enough to protect their people. Your father was the easiest to kill. This town was the easiest to conquer, thanks to your father. Your father was no king.” His grip on your face got tighter and your cheeks were starting to hurt. “And you think you’re better than him?” You glared at him. He laughs before letting go of your face. “Oh, princess. I’m better than everyone. I’m the fucking best and you’ll learn that in time.” He steps away from you before whistling out until a number of his men came entering the room. “Take her out of her garments and move her outside.” And with that, he disappeared out the door before his men started manhandling you out of your clothes until you were completely bare and filled humiliation as they carried you out and threw you on the cold surface of the snow.

 “Am I in heaven? You look better that way, princess.” The familiar voice made you cover your body with your hands as you looked up at the man who took everything away from you. He was covered with your father’s robe as he stood tall in front of your body. He squatted down until you were face to face. You shivered though you didn’t know if it was because of the closeness of his face or the coldness that was surrounding your bare body. “Is my princess cold?” He tilted his head and cooed at you before opening his arms along with the robe, revealing his naked body under it. Your eyes snapped down at the sight and he only chuckled in response before sighing. “If you don’t want to catch a cold, I suggest you come into your king’s arms.” He smiled at you before frowning when you crawled away from him, ignoring the sting of the cold ground under your body.

 In an instant, his body is on top of yours. You flayed under him until he had your hands on either side of your face while his body is in between your legs, cock brushing the inside of your thighs. “You would prefer to die instead of being my queen, is that it?” He leaned down to nip on your right ear before whispering. “Too bad. I’ll make it my mission to protect you and keep you alive. I’ll make you my queen whether you like it or not.” He moves his head down your neck and began sucking on your skin. You wiggled under his hold until you felt his cock rub against your folds earning a moan from him that made you immediately stop your movements.

 He grunted before pulling away from your neck. “Don’t stop now, you little tease.” He leaned down, breathing close to your face. He moves his hand down your body, groping your breasts and pinching the tit when you tried to wiggle away. Your back arched at the unfamiliar feeling and he chuckled as he watched your reaction. You watch him as he sucked on his fingers, eyes squinting in question at his actions. “Got to make this little cunt slippery for my big cock.” Your eyes widened as his fingers started playing with your folds until you felt it rubbing your opening. “Don’t do this. You’ve already done enou—” You cut yourself off with a gasp as one of his fingers intruded into your slit. You could feel his finger moving around inside of you as he continued pushing it inside of you. “What are you, a virgin?” He chuckled before biting his bottom lip as he watched your eyes close in discomfort. “Ahh… I should’ve known. Don’t worry, my queen. I’ll make sure you’re wet enough for me.” He added another finger and you grunted at the disagreeable feeling. “Shh.” He cooed before your body jolted when you felt his thumb rubbing against your clit. “You like that?” He laughs at you when you shook your head. “Stubborn little one, aren’t you? No worries…” His rubs got faster and you started to feel light-headed as something started building up inside you, begging to come out only to be stopped when he completely pulled his hands away from your cunt.

 “W-what?” You asked dumbly. “You almost came on my fingers, princess. We can’t have that now, can we? You can only cum on your king’s cock.” He palms his cock before taking a hold of it and guiding it towards your now wet cunt. He rubbed it against your shimmering folds until your hands moved towards his abdomen, eyes pleading him to stop. “Please, don’t do this. I’m begging you…” Desperate for him to stop his actions, your eyes started to tear up and you saw him clenching his jaw before moving away from your body.

 You breathed out a sigh of relief only to yelp in surprise as your body got turned around, your chest pressed against the white snow and hands restrained onto the small of your back as his body was back on top of yours. He presses a kiss on your cheek before shushing you when you cried at the feeling of his cock rubbing on your slit. “Shh… It’ll be quick.” He presses a kiss on your head before a hand covered your mouth. You let out a piercing scream when you felt his huge member penetrating inside your cunt at an unforgiving speed. He stopped halfway, telling you to breathe and wiping tears from your face. “P-please… I-I can’t! I can’t!” You wiggled under his body, stopping when he pushed his cock deeper and bottoming out, earning breathless cries from you. “Fucking tight and warm for me.” He grunted above you, ignoring your cries as he pulled halfway before slamming back in.

 He continued penetrating his cock into your cunt until your cries got quieter. He pulled out before flipping you back onto your back, his hand wiping the snow from your chest before slithering his cock back into your cunt slowly. He wiped the tears from your face before thrusting into you slowly. You started getting used to his size but your once virgin cunt was sore from the harsh treatment it got. Your clit was still sensitive from his earlier actions so when he rubbed it once more, your legs shook against his sides and he felt it. He started rubbing your clit faster as his thrusts got faster. You accidentally let out a whine and you saw his eyes lit up and his movements got even faster and his face got filled with determination.

 The feeling of something building up inside you returned and you hear him groan above you. “That’s it. Cum for me. Cum for your king.” He grunted as his movements got sloppier. His thrusts got shorter and that’s when you felt it. Your back arched as your legs spasmed in delight around his torso. He leaned down to press a kiss on your lips before pushing his full length inside of you. You whimpered when you felt him twitch inside of you as spurts of warm liquids filled your walls. You were tense against his body but his kiss against yours distracted you from the feeling.

 He stayed inside of you until your body started shivering against him. He finally realized how your back is still against the cold snow and he quickly pulled you up to press you against his chest, covering the both of you with your father’s robe. You looked back at the space you were just in and found droplets of blood, reminding you of how he took your chastity away from you. He softly pressed your head against his chest, forcing you to look away from your blood. “It’s over.” He whispers before rubbing your back as you cried against his chest. “You’ll learn to love me.” He kisses the top of your head before carrying you back inside, promising to give you a hot bath.

>>>next part>>>

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Wait ~ E.O.

A/n: let’s be real this is a Drabble, and after how much I’ve struggled to write requests the rest will probably be as well so I can finally get them out to you guys.

Request: “1 from prompt list... Enoch x non-binary maybe?...” by anon

Prompt: #1 (here): “I should go” / “Or you should stay a little longer.”

MASTERLIST

Hearing the music confused Y/n just a little bit. It was definitely piano, but it shouldn’t have been playing. It was clear, far different than the old recordings they had around that scratched and slipped and popped. It couldn’t have been Miss Peregrine either, because she had taken the others out on a picnic. Y/n knew that because they were sick in bed, and Miss P had given them a head’s up on her way out so Y/n wouldn’t be startled if they got up and moved around to see an empty house.

The thing was, Y/n was torn about whether they were happy to hear the music or not. On one hand, they had the WORST headache. On the other... their favorite music had always been made by pianos and violins - The two most beautiful instruments in their mind. Most importantly, the music was being played beautifully.

Half in irritation and half due to curiosity, Y/n plodded down the steps of the very special house for very special people like Y/n, which was uncharacteristically empty today. They wandered around, trying to narrow their eyes enough to block out the sun while still being able to see.

Following the music brought them to a small parlor room. They’d just moved since the attack on the old time loop and with the chaos of so many people and adjusting to a new place, Y/n hadn’t had much time to explore. Their quirk was that they had a sort of psychic link to all living creatures. Not in the form of mind reading, but of feeling emotions. Emotions that, unfortunately, demanded to be felt rather violently. Emotions that fell of people in waves of bright colors. With the many new people they were boarding with until they found their own place to make a new loop, Y/n had been overwhelmed and very sick. It was probably why Miss Peregrine has set up the picnic to begin with.

It was also why they loved music so much. They could listen to and feel music without it messing them up. It was a beautiful experience.

That was all beside the point though.

The small parlor was new to Y/n. It didn’t have much in it. In fact, the most noticiable things were a bunch of seats forming a semi circle around a large, blank wall, which is probably where the others sat to watch Horace’s dreams. The other thing in the room was a gorgeous grand piano. Sitting on the bench playing it, to Y/n’s shock, was Enoch.

Upon hearing the door open, Enoch jumped away from the piano like it had burned him, spinning around and tripping over himself to get away from the thing. Y/n covered their mouth to hide a laugh they knew Enoch would find offensive.

“You- you’re here,” he stuttered. For someone who was usually gloomy and withdrawn and sulky, Enoch was suddenly very read faced, waves of magenta rolling off of him and pooling on the floor like mist. The bits higher up twirled into the air and spun around, like rays of sun. Compared to his dark grey outfit, pale skin, and black hair, the colorful emotion was almost laughable in its brilliance.

“I am,” Y/n agreed. “I’ve Uh, been sick.”

Enoch oriented himself, and his color changed. Like food coloring falling into water, a rich purple and sickly green twisted and spun, spreading out from the middle and consuming all the magenta from before. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I’ve been... there are a lot of people here. I’ve sort of been a recluse. Not talked much. Miss Peregrine said you’d all be gone.”

“I don’t think it occurred to her I’d be getting out of bed. Lots of people like you said. Very overwhelming, especially with how pretty the scenery outside is as well. I mean, emotions are one thing but living in a world that’s like some sort of painting? All those vibrant colors all the time? World’s worst headache.” Y/n suddenly rushed to end the ramble, embarrassed. They looked down at their hands and took reassurance that they could not see colors curling off of their fingers. Alone, at least, they had solace from the colors.

Enoch shuffled. “Well I’m sorry I bothered you. I just, uh, it’s peaceful. Easy way to blow off some steam, or make some noise that isn’t annoying. Never did like quiet. If you’re trying to get a break from emotions I’m sure you don’t want to see mine.” He scowled, the green taking over the purple now. It was the color green that spoke of disgust. Y/n immediately looked at their feet.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I-“ they swallowed. In all honesty, they had a bit of a crush on Enoch. It had started ages ago when being around Enoch had been a relief. His emotions were usually duller colors, because he was broody and sarcastic. Y/n wished him happiness, but if he was going to be grumpy then Y/n was going to enjoy it. The thing was, enjoying Enoch’s company had lead Y/n to taking part in it a lot. It wasn’t until Jake came around and ruined everything that Y/n withdrew, turned away by the sudden surging vibrant red of angry annoyance that spurted off of Enoch like fireworks. Since then, it had been one thing after another until Y/n was left feeling like Enoch got rather annoyed whenever Y/n was around anymore.

They figured he’d realized he liked not having them around and tried to keep their distance. Every time they showed up, Enoch got glummer than usual and his colors became like mop water. Not just dull, but muddy, and often mixing with hate and disgust. It made Y/n sick to see. If he was being honest, it was that more than anything that made him feel terrible.

“Why would you ever need to be sorry for anything?” Enoch asked quietly, seeming genuinely curious about that. “I’m the one that’s upset you.”

“I upset you first.” It was too honest, and Y/n felt their body tense. “Er, interrupting your piano playing. Which I didn’t know you did by the way.”

For the first time in a very long time, Enoch offered a smile. It was small, and he seemed shy about it, but it was there, and it stuck. “You never upset me, Y/n. I don’t think you could if you tried.”

At that, Y/n got angry. “Well don’t go lying to me now just because you pity me.” That seemed to startle Enoch. “Mind You Enoch O’Connor, I can see your emotions, remember? I can’t see all that hate and disgust that flares up everytime I’m around. I’m not blind and I’m not an idiot - don’t treat me one and just let me apologize already!”

For a long time, Enoch was stunned. Then he slowly realized, and his face morphed into a mix of emotions Y/n had gotten used to seeing. Irritation. Disgust. Frustration. Anger. Regret. There were new ones too. Ones that didn’t make sense. Amusement. The light bubblegum that usually signaled someone making sassy comments in their head. The color of attitude. Enoch finally shook his head, watching Y/n’s eyes flick around him but never looking directly at him. He had long since learned that it was them looking at the colors. With all the emotions in him right now, he was sure that the confusion on their face was the result of attempting to dicipher any of it.

“Remember that you can see feelings, but you don’t know why they’re there.” Y/n finally looked at Enoch, wary. “The hate and disgust wasn’t directed at you, Y/n. I-“ he purses his lips for a second. “When Jake came around, I was really annoyed with him. After his stupid grandfather I didn’t want another one coming around and hurting my friends by leaving again. And I knew he would. And then he did! He came back but that’s not the point.” He sighed, seeming to be taking a second to remind himself of something. “I let that get to me too much. I... remember how you’d flinch away from me every time Jake was around and my emotions would flare up. I felt terrible. One day you just disappeared, and then so much was happening and I‘d gone and pushed you away and now we might not ever be friends again.” He shrugged. Though not usually one to express himself, he’d always been loose lipped around Y/n. More so now after all they’d been through. Jake had taught him to talk, if nothing else, and Enoch could appreciate that at the very least.

Y/n looked at their feet. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that. That you felt so pressured to be calm around me, to repressed your emotions. And that I... mixed things up, rather than just talking to you. I know it’s not fair to read into your emotions with the hints I get when you never get a look into mine when it comes to you.” Suddenly they were both on high alert. The way Y/n had said that had been so far from talking about normal feelings like Enoch had been talking about. They had used a tone that was so distinctively... something more.

“What?” Enoch asked softly.

“I- I-“ Y/n began to back up, and Enoch didn’t have to see their emotional colors to know they were panicking. “I better go.”

Enoch surged forward, catching their arm. “No, wait.” He bit his lip as Y/n refused to look at him, before reaching over and catching their chin, tugging them around to look at him again. He offered a soft smile. That same one from before, but hopeful now. “I think you could- or, you should at least, stay. Just a little longer.”

Y/n looked up at him with that same nervous hope. “Why?”

Enoch stepped closer, and Y/n felt something in his chest grow warm at the sunset orange slowly curling around and drowning all the other colors. Orange, which was sometimes admiration or idolization, but was most often proof of a crush. “I think we have a lot to talk about.”

And Y/n knew he was right.

[meyeselph]

Gwenpool: Desperate Misanthrope's Confused Angst

Showtime

Ms. Pool woke up in a familiar room. Not in Krakoa - there are no mutants around. This isn’t a story about that. Look, honestly, without an actual Gwenpool series and the constant breaks in her comics appearance I can’t even begin to give a fuck. I cancelled my marvel universe subbie. I might get back to my stories but single issues are iffy. I read fast and don’t pore over the artwork. So I get 10 minutes of entertainment for….FIVE DOLLARS? When did this happen? Jeezus.

Who even reads comics anymore?

Anyway, long story short, Gwen got out of bed and recognized the room as her old one from the “old times.” The dark times. The ‘not running around in pink and white outfits and shooting people’ times. She panicked (Been there. It is what it is though). The only way out of trauma is through.

She dressed in old clothes, immediately hit by old smells, she couldn’t help but cry. Was it all a dream? Have I gone insane (again)? All the usual self doubts cropped up. I mean, really, if you think this kind of thing didn’t pass through her mind regularly why don’t you transport yourself to a comic book universe?

Oh, you can’t?

Oh. It isn’t actually possible for you and I’m stupid for suggesting it. So, yeah. If it actually happened and you kept that attitude then the logical assumption for a normie is a mental breakdown. Trick for Gwen, though, is it's probably always been both real and her being nuts.

So she goes downstairs to the kitchen to figure out why this is happening and Evil Gwen is having cereal. Let's say cocoa puffs. I’ve been thinking about those recently. You ever remember cereal as something worth cherishing. Not as just bullshit that TV convinced you to want? God damn, now I want Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp wasn’t even ever that good. Why do I want Cookie Crisp?

So also sitting around the table were the faceless versions of her father, mother, and her brother. Just chilling. No BD. Seen Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind?

Yes, I know that references aren’t jokes - fuck you, I’m painting a picture and I CAN’T PAINT, THAT’S WHY THIS ISN’T A COMIC. Fucks sake. Anyway. So, Gwen is so creeped out that she just sits her butt down by Evil Gwen as if she’s the comforting presence here.

Her name’s too long. Let’s call Evil Gwen uh…….Gren. You know, like Grendel from Beowulf. I haven’t actually read Beowulf and this is all a little confusing but I'm solving problems here. Writing this is harder for me than you would think so it’s best to keep things flowing off the cuff. That’s the Gwenpool™ style anyway, isn’t it? Are you laughing yet? IMPROV. “YES AND” MY SHIT, READER!

“So, you ever really look into the retconned past thing, hun?” Gren said, moving her tongue around her food. Being gross as an attempt to be properly evil. She swallowed before continuing. “This is all I could really put together on short notice but i’m pretty sure what the future people created, all that stuff to try and trick you, it was all bullshit.”

“What do you mean? Are you trying to convince me to go all psycho like you again?” Gwen asked, exasperated, realizing she was now back in the whole ‘fuck with Gwen to decide her fate’ song and dance routine from the end of her first arc.

“Nah, not really.” Gren said. A hammer appeared in her hands out of nowhere and Gren swung it into their fake father’s head, snapping his neck..

“DAD!” Gwen instinctively cried as she saw her father’s body slump to the floor. Gren slapped Gwen’s face. “That’s it,” Gren said, “this is what the trick was.This is a poorly created character in a fictional story. Meant to manipulate you into attaching your concept of “father” to it. Even his finished version in the original comics run wasn’t THAT well drawn. Your dad read like a boomer’s idea of a responsible parent. You were going through a mental crisis and struggling to find purpose in life and his genius idea was get a shitty low paying job and suck it up?”

Gren turned to their brother, pushed his face to the table and smashed the back of his skull. . “Brother dearest, too. Going right along with their victim blaming. He gaslighted you as if what you were going through was just you being ‘irresponsible.’ Bitch, people working a minimum wage job aren’t somehow not impoverished and miserable because they get some of that ‘honest work’ that folks keep badgering on about. Minimum wage work is occupied by many physically and mentally disabled people held hostage; they’re people society only pretends to care about. Then they turn it all into you acting like some world ending threat. No questions about what drove you to the edge in the first place. You are just ‘unstable,’ so you’re just a problem to be solved. They say, ‘Let’s all solve this girl being upset and on edge by ruining her concept of self, reality, and memory.’ Brilliant!”

Gwen barely processed this in horror. Gren then slit the poor facsimile of their mother’s throat while continuing to rant, “You see people die all the time, Gwen. Half of the time you are doing the killing. You do it because it’s in a story. In a story the NPCs don’t matter and, after all, your original schtick in the story was to be kill-crazy. The non-marketable characters can be replaced or retconned at the stroke of the artist’s pen.” Gren leans forward as she pulls a Gwenpool mask over Gwens face. “Then the writers convince you that you have some middle class milk toast family and you take abuse and subsume your emotional needs because the problem MUST be you. You aren’t ‘normal’ so you have to be fixed.”

Gwen wiped her eyes over the mask and sighed. A bit of fire filled her gut as she stared at Gren. “So fucking what? You want me to go on a killing spree and be a big time villain to get myself a nice, shiny permanent big bad status? That’s how I stay around right? Just build my legacy on bodies?”

Gren scoffed “You already lost that fight, girly. Where do you think we are? Because this ain’t Marvel Comics.”

Confused, Gwen blinked and tried reaching for the page margins, finding nothing. Wait….why was everything on this page so ill defined and undetailed? Wait? Why was the story in kinda wobbly third person past tense?

Gwen sighed “Oh. I’m in a fanfic. I guess the publishing fight is for another day eh?”

“My advice, personally,” Gren stated, “is that you consider the lobster.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Gren pulled aside the kitchen curtains revealing the face of a giant lobster, its claws tapping on the glass. The lobster muttering gutterally about personal responsibility.

“Because there’s a couple thousand giant lobsters outside that would like to claw you until you read their book.”

--

Scared of Girls

On the rooftop, Gren shoved a high powered rifle into Gwen’s hands while she handled the close range threats. So, this conversation they’re about to have is important. Sniping puts Gwen into a sort of zen space, so that’s a better task to keep her focused, after all.

“So, what? You wanted me to internalize that my “origin story” is bullshit? Okay, what does that accomplish, then?” Gwen asked in a bit of a deadpan. She was so tired today. Not really feeling her happy go lucky energy. More like a “happy go fucky” energy. It was hard to always be on a knife's edge. Still the rifle’s kick into her shoulder was satisfying as she blew through two of the creepy looking lobsters at once. “Also, why the lobsters?”

Gren considered this. “Okay, last question first, I had to experiment a lot and do a lot of research to construct this place for your learning and healing in fanfic form....These buddies are a failed experiment of mine that I repurposed because the fic needed more action. Isn’t that right, giant enemy crap?” As she peppers the nearest goon with a hail of shotgun pellets the entire throng of them burst out, sharply muttering about divine symbols.

“As for what I'm trying to teach you, it’s that you aren’t reaching your potential.” Gren grumpily huffed.

“Duh,” Gwen reloads, “I mean you just killed a mannequin version of the voice in my head that says that to me every day.” one of those crustaceans talks about feminine symbolism while she decides on her next target.

“Not like fake daddy’s ‘Be a responsible member of society by paying your taxes’ type of potential. I mean your creative and emotional potential.” Gren flipped off the slavering throng of monsters, noticing they were starting to keep their distance from the roof.

“I never did finish that fanfic idea I had.” Gwen mused.

“God, don’t mention that,” Gren thrusts a finger at Gwenpool. “Not that I don’t respect fanfic, but when comic book writers make you and Kamala squee about fanfiction to try and relate to “the kids” it comes across as so condescending.”

“Really? I mean…..I'm sure it’s meant as support for the concept?”

“Most fucking superhero comics are just legalized fanfiction! The people who created the characters are either long gone or working on someone else’s characters! They just think they are so much better because they got fucking paid. They can’t imagine themselves as on the same playing field as fanficcers even though most of them have the same level of connection to the roots of the work as anyone else.” Gren groused loudly as she seemed to pull Reed Richards out of nowhere.

Confused, Reed looked around until his eyes met Gwen’s.“Oh great, you again.” Reed groaned as he turned to survey the piles of lobster gibs while Gwen cheered the lobster forces’ retreat with a resounding “EDF, EDF!”. The scattered creatures skittered amongst the bland scenery. It looked like a suburban neighborhood but someone forgot to color in the sky….or write that the sky had color. A castle hung out in the distance breaking up the generic normalcy and lay cloaked in shadow despite being surrounded by an endless white void.

“And…..black….you?” Reed pointed to Gren, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I have an evil future self….well I stopped that future so it’s an….evil...alternate timeline self?” Gwen said with a nervous chuckle, abandoning the kill quest for the minute and rested her rifle on the roof.

“Ah. Yeah I’ve been down that road. It’s a rather common occurrence. Multiverse being what it is.” Reed laughed heartily while putting his hands on his hips.

“I’m not sure I’m evil, honestly,” Gren interjected. “I think I’m just really fucking grumpy and I’m slightly more gung-ho on the homicide. Considering Gwen’s already one of the more kill crazy characters on the roster it’s not that much of a distinction.” Gren flipped her cape. “My main distinction is I don’t like that meme from The Incredibles! You can just make it so the cape detaches automatically when it’s pulled hard enough!”

“You could still have it tangled up around your face.” Reed pointed out in his standard know-it-all fashion.

“Don’t make me go into fuck wife mode, stretch.” Gren spat. “Okay, anyway, so I brought him here to illustrate a point. Reed. Explain particle physics to me as a laymen.”

“Huh...i’m not sure why but okay. Particle physics (also known as high energy physics) is a branch of physics that studies the nature of the particles that constitute matter and radiation. Although the word particle can refer to various types of very small objects (e.g. protons, gas particles, or even household dust), particle physics usually investigates the irreducibly smallest detectable particles and the fundamental interactions necessary to explain their behaviour. In current understanding, these elementary particles are excitations of the quantum fields that also govern their interactions. The currently dominant theory explaining these fundamental particles and fields, along with their dynamics, is called the Standard Model. Thus, modern particle physics generally investigates the Standard Model and its various possible extensions, e.g. to the newest "known" particle, the Higgs boson, or even to the oldest known force field, gravity.” Reed rattled this off rather mechanically.

Gren then took out her phone and showed Gwen the Wikipedia article on “Particle Physics,” which is naturally the same words that Reed had regurgitated above, just without any formatting and, again, on a phone.

“Reed can’t be a genius in any subject unless he’s written by a genius in that subject. That’s how stories work. Everyone is limited by the understanding and capabilities of the writer. Same with your origin story and all the people you’ve interacted with. If you are as ‘meta’ as you think you are then you have to realize that you aren’t actually talking to people. You are talking to the writer. Dr. Strange didn’t rewrite your existence to be a part of the Marvel Universe. As far as most of Marvel continuity goes Dr. Strange was never there and doesn’t know or care about his MCU casting…..Hey Reed, buzz off please before the conversation pivots to why you haven’t cured all known diseases.”

Reed looked a little surprised but then pulled out a teleportation device (of course he has one) and blipped away with a shrug.

“How awkward is that going to be when he enters the MCU after Kamala is already introduced with a very similar power set?” Gwen chuckled.

“Keep up the way you’ve been going and you’ll never see it. I’m not exactly expecting a young blonde girl casting call for Deadpool 3 and that’s your best bet.” Gren snarked. Gwen winced with a sigh.

“I don’t get what I'm doing wrong. I have a fanbase comparable to some of the characters that have already shown up but I can’t even get comics written about me most of the time. An MCU push seems unlikely. They would literally have to deal with completely recontextualizing my powers and gimmick”

“Let’s ask her what you should do.” Gren motioned her way to the suddenly appearing long hair future Gwen, looming over them like The Attack of the 50 foot Woman for some reason. Dwarfing the roof they are on. Let’s call her BIGwen!

--

Gold Guns Girls

As BIGwen acclimated to her surroundings she stubbed her toe on a car, dramatically flipping it so that it took out a few more lobsters before caving in a nearby house. The lamentations about clean rooms soaring as the remaining couple dozen of them attempt to clean up some of the bodies of their fallen kin. The large and sort-of-in-charge Gwen hissed in pain and adjusted her boot. Getting her balance as best as possible she muttered curses that traveled rather well considering the lung capacity of a giant.

“You know,” Gren started, “I wasn’t expecting much from our previous uses of the ‘make her big for emphasis’ trick, but it really does only work as a vague ghostly background element. I didn’t just want it to be ‘oh, here's a third Gwen for the conversation, though. Would lack umph.”

“ Yeah, I get it, but staring at my own giant taint is unsettling.” Gwen muttered.

“I’d still, hit it.” Gren grinned, then immediately got punched in the arm. “OWWW! Look, I’m the evil one here and we’re in a fanfic. I’m allowed to make internet fetish jokes.”

“And I’m allowed to hit you for it.”.

“Dirty lampshading goody two shoes. Don’t act like half your fanbase isn’t thirsty. It’s “insert current year argument”, all art is sexy to someone.” Gren complained back,rubbing her arm before hopping off the roof. Gwen followed while listening as patiently as she could considering how many changes in topic her evil-caped self is going through to get to her point. “This chick is the reason you’ve been on the path of good girl. Some vague idea that in the future everything will work out for the best. HEY, DOWN HERE, BIG SHOW!” Gren waved at BIGwen and she looked down curiously.

“Yeah what??” BIGwen responded in a booming and agitated tone. Honestly, being in this fic made every version of Gwen a little grumpy.

“How’s she supposed to be a popular hero that makes it into the MCU and has a stable publication history?” Gren asked.

“Fuck if I know.” Came BIGwen’s response. “Have you tried growing your hair out?”

“Rub it in,” Gwen muttered under her breath, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of depressed now.” Gwen said as she sat on an abandoned car.

Gren hopped on the roof of the car, patting Gwen’s shoulder before squatting with enough force to flex the car’s shocks like a rocking chair just to amuse herself. “Future “good” Gwen wasn’t an actual plot point, it was a call to action to the fans to make fanfic like this and support the character outside of the actual Canon. Chris didn’t trust that Marvel would treat the character right. That, and your obsession with getting a new book, are both the writer’s attempt to turn a marketing tactic into fan engagement. If you want to be real then that makes the fans want you to be real even more, too.”

Gwen sighs heavily and leans her chin on one hand. “I mean...the time traveling through the life of an NPC fan complete with a Never Ending Story reference was a bit sappy even by the standard we sometimes set...damn it it really was just kind of a fan manipulation trick wasn’t it?”

BIGwen Sat down on the street next to them and crossed her legs. “Hey, little me. Don’t get too down. I mean it worked for the most part. You have a healthy cult following. Characters have survived on less and there are worse things to be known for then as a fan first character”

“But I have to fight for attention all the damn time, though. It’s so easy for Wade with his fucking meme bullshit. He even gets runoff enthusiasm from me. Jeff the land shark is all over Oldpool online” Gwen felt rather heavy and tired all of a sudden. Marvel editorial forcing a gun to your head is not a fun way to be.

“All that fight is hell on the fanbase too.” Gren sighed. “Advocating for shit, getting crumbs and being expected to accept it while Disney lavishes all the attention based on some bullshit numbers game. Even if you make it into the MCU will it be a Batroc style cameo with obligatory ‘killed off in case we don’t feel like paying the actor again later.’ Will it be an emotionally rounded character or an ambush bug style joke? The thing is. You're Not the one fighting and you never were.”

“The fuck do you mean?”

“This version of her doesn’t know?” BIGwen whimpered.

“You aren’t real, Gwen.”

--

Head Like a Haunted House

“No….we aren’t having this conversation. Fuck you fuck you i’m not a fucking Nihlist and i’m not going to do this right now.” Gwen said as she scrambled off of the car and pulled out some guns. BIGwen then picked her up off the ground.

“You need to hear this, Gwen,” BIGwen boomed. “The gimmick has run its course. It’s fucking with your canon. You’re never going to be a marketable character keeping up a half fourth-wall Kayfabe”

Gren climbed onto BIGwen’s Shoulders and perched over Gwen all menacing like. “You need to listen. I’ve been trying to ease you into this. Making things more meta slowly until you were ready but it was never going to be easy.”

One of Gwen’s guns was fired from it’s holster and pierced one of BIGwen’s fingers. BIGwen screamed and her grip loosened. Soon Gwen was on the move running up her arm and firing at Gren, who dodged like the nimble and cute badass she is. “Don’t do this Gwen. Just because it doesn’t matter to the comic version of you doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m a real person god damn it! I read the comics out there! I came in! That’s why I know shit I shouldn't know. That’s what I am! THAT’S ALL I AM!” Gwen shrieked as she pulled out a sword from hammer-space and decapitated BIGwen. Suddenly a mess of colored streamers and a pile of Mickey Mouse merch tumbled out. Look, I am busy right now. Gwen is still slashing at my ass. I'm not going to explain it.

For some reason now the remaining lobsters were helping Gren. For Gwen’s own good you understand. This is proof that I’m right for some reason.

Gwen pulled out a revolver, firing pumpkin sized holes in lobsters who were still wailing about self actualization. She fully planned on shoving a sword up her evil self’s ass and getting rid of this doppelganger shit for good. Which is total bullshit by the way. She totally just cut off Gren’s leg because what the fuck you mean I’m not real? I’m going to be real all over your corpse.

Gren didn’t really think that was even a good comeback and also thought you should probably say it instead of meta willing the smack talk into existence, otherwise this fanfic is going to read like trash. Also, Gren’s leg wasn’t actually cut off. In a puff of smoke it is revealed that the cut off leg is a log and her leg is fine. Gren is a ninja now, believe it.

Gwen proceeded to do a sick ass CQC judo throw on Gren and then grab her cape and wrap it around her face like Reed suggested. Callbacks for the win! Callbacks to Checkov’s gun ideas always lead to victory in fights! She then totally shot at her and such.

But the bullet was caught by the cape because the cape was a symbiote! That’s right Gren is also GRENOM!...boy that sounds stupid. Anywho, the cape was no longer around her face and the fight continued and Gren now ALSO had extra powers and special wizard-symbiote armor (that would only show up in the MCU version if Marvel finally got the Sony characters back). The meta powers work like shit in text but this would be really good in CGI or animation if Marvel wanted to adapt this fic and give the writer lots of money. Gren still has more experience with them, though, and Gwen can’t really just kill her way out of this fic so she has to just let the story play out.

…...eh?....oh Gwen’s crying. I love/am you girl but we gotta work on the crying. Fucks sake this is harder than I thought. I’m depressed now too. Well I'll try to get the writing back on track so you guys can see what is going on. Even the lobsters are minding their manners now. Chill vibes, guys.

“The marvel character page for Gwenpool says, and I quote:

Gwenpool arrived in the Marvel Universe from the “real world,” but has wasted no time in making the most of her time in her fictional universe. Using her knowledge of comics to her advantage, Gwenpool causes and solves problems for her fellow heroes.”

Gren drags a lobster corpse slowly toward Gwen and sits on its tail as she talks to her. Taking her time to really scrape the lobster against the ground, smearing the gore on the pavement. Not that it was heavy for her or anything. Totally still has that symbiote, which would make moving it easy. Totally wasn’t a detail added in the second revision of the fic slightly before the lobsters were added.

“The words “Real world” are in quotation marks in that wiki. Real people don’t make it into comics because fiction isn’t real. Half of your versions barely make use of the ‘real person’ gimmick because it’s too meta by half and not every writer wants to waste time justifying it. So they just treat it like Deadpool’s medium awareness. Which it mostly is.”

“I really am just a fucking rip off distaff character.” Gwen moans. “Just a Gwen combined with a Pool. I’m worse than the Batman who laughs. I never mattered because I was never real”

“Fuck don’t say that. You were made with love and care by a team of creators who took a weird offshoot idea and built out a compelling metafiction idea and a likeable protagonist off of it. They just didn’t have the time and foresight to go far enough.” Gren sighed.

“Far enough?” Gwen sniffed as she was pulled up to her feet and dragged toward one of the big castles. As they walked Gren kicked along a Mickey Mouse doll that had rolled out of BIGwen’s severed head. Every time it bounced it cheerfully said ‘hahah. I love you!’

“Too much haha, not enough trauma. You’re not just a joke character.” Gren said as she kicked the Mickey doll into the big front door of the castle. The shadowy thing of course lighting up and being all fantasy and shit as the door opened.

“Well I did end both of my comic runs pretty mopey.”

“Damn right you did. When the jokes run thin they run to your real bread and butter. You’re an empathy machine.” As Gren shoves Gwen through the gate they are swallowed up in the castle, going dark again. “Let’s getcha sad clown on.”

--

Never there

“See, what evil me should have been telling you about in the original run is how to find meaning and purpose when technically nothing means anything. Comic book characters live in a world without real death and suffering. It’s all a puppet show version of real pain and real emotion meant to bring that out of an audience.” Gren opined as they walked through a black void to a couch floating in a nothing area lit only by the static of an old TV.

“Can we turn on a light?” Gwen asked as she sat on the couch. Gren sat on another recliner that suddenly appeared and put her feet up.

“Fuck off. Ambiance is a thing. We aren’t having a ‘lights on with something fun on the TV’ conversation. So look, I am not really ‘evil gwen.’ I’m half an author insert and half a plot device. If we are talking about the reality of the story you are basically talking to yourself. I am speaking about the things you don’t want to admit to yourself. You know, you’ve seen this kind of story sorta... right?” Gren picked up the remote and frustratedly changed channels between a bunch of vaguely illustrative footage on the TV, not finding anything that worked. A lot of black and white footage of trains for some reason. Just what comes to mind when I think of documentary footage? Weird.

“I am not sure how to illustrate this shit visually and this is a text story anyway so I would have to explain the illustration,” Gren griped.

“I basically get it. It’s not that uncommon a trope.” Gwen nodded.

“Because of the level of meta we are on right now we have to really acknowledge that you are basically an author insert, too. I mean, to a certain extent every version of you is more the writer that is working with your character at the time than a set character.” Gren said as she settled on a visual of Gwen being pushed out the window by her own narration text in the original comic run. When all else fails, resort to footage from the last story. That way people can look it up online!

“Right here is where the character crystallized in the mind of the author of the current fic we are in. A vague suicide metaphor wrapped up in the flavor of self destructive escapism. Your parents in the story thought it was a suicide attempt on at least some level. This is serious business. Not just a girl who doesn’t like work and can’t finish her fanfic. In this comic you are built on this understanding. The writer of this fic has ADHD and autism. So his version of you more or less has it, too. Writers bring themselves with them into their work.”

Gwen nods and takes a deep breath. “I….I can feel it. Like the world is closing around you. You aren’t built for anything that anyone wants from you. The one thing you really believe in, the one thing that really defines you, the stories in your head…..it’s just not enough.

You can’t trust you’ll ever make it with writing because you can barely write. You barely have the energy to do anything but wish that you weren’t you. What if someone actually listened? Actually believed in you and whisked you away somewhere else where the world would fit your needs? What if you were someplace you could be someone else, someone strong and confident?”

“Yeah. Like a funny anti hero in a comic for instance.” Gren nodded. “But the original comics sort of left the theme on the table. They were captured by the misconception of Gwen as the problem and not a person who needed help. All that desperation that real fans of the character might feel just bundled up into love for this character that really ‘gets’ them but Marvel doesn’t ‘get’ the character. They won't use her. They won’t go past vaguely gesturing at her mental issues and moving on. They saved the angst for Wandavision.” Gren scoffs.

“I mean the show was okay but they literally have a character built entirely on the theme of escapism and trauma. One that’s custom built for mind-screw visuals and reality bending plots and they think she’s just a lazy fangirl who really likes guns that they can sit beside Deadpool sometimes and stick in the X-Men’s bloated background character roster when they don’t need her.”

Gren leads Gwen off the couch and deeper into the void where a door to a bedroom waits. A room like her own, absolutely slopping over with old toys of comic book characters. An unclean messy space in a run-down house that smells faintly of cigarette smoke. Huddled in bed, reading an 80s era X-men comic with a flashlight, is a 12 year old Gwen.

“This is never going to be canon but this is the version of Gwen in this fic. She can’t stop crying at school. Things that shouldn’t be hard are so hard and she can’t explain why. Everyone says she’s making excuses. Meanwhile her mother is fucked out of her mind on pain killers and her step father killed himself last year ‘cleaning his gun’ while drunk. You know exactly what is on her mind right now?” Gren says as she gestures at the girl.

“I wish the superheroes would save me from this.”

“They won’t. They can’t. They were never meant to.” Gren Slams the door loudly on the scene.

“That is the emotional core of Gwenpool in this fic. The desperation that so many of the fans down here in the fucking muck of the real world feel. Poor and emotionally unfulfilled. Confused and vulnerable. If Disney and Marvel gave two fucking shits about people like that they wouldn’t waste as many stories as they do. They wouldn’t just use untold wealth to make expensive escapist stories with the military. Their gestures toward progressive ideas that they occasionally make in their stories would be THE ENTIRE POINT of their stories and the actual thing they used that money for instead of lobbying the government to keep Mickey Mouse out of the public domain.

“Disney has the power yet they save a fucking miniscule fraction of who they could. Saving people doesn’t make money.”

--

When I Get To The Green Building

Gren stormed through the void. The scene disintegrated around her as Gwen followed. Both now in a bit of a sour mood but with newfound determination.

“Come to think of it. Why is the fucking Hulk getting to fight for social justice in the comics? Why are they making a gay alternate universe Captain America? Why are they grasping at straws so hard to find characters that get to advocate and I am just sitting on a fucking island being grumpy?” Gwen groused. “I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual….at least in this fic. I could advocate for a bunch of shit at once.”

“You have a youth fanbase, a unique story and you technically aren’t an alternate universe version of fucking anything no matter how many people still think you are a Stacey. They made a fucking ‘for the fans’ character and then neglected it. Presumably because some fucking money making metric didn’t pan out despite the comics just being an MCU test kitchen and IP farm anyway.”

“You’re a fucking check mark on a ledger. I don’t even know if anyone technically created Gwenpool as a whole and Disney/Marvel can give the character to whoever they want to do whatever they want completely separate from what the fanbase wants and needs because she isn’t established. The IP landlords have spoken. The fans haven’t risen to enough ‘buy my merch’ calls to action to invest more resources. So tease endlessly until that changes.”

“Gah. Now I'm actually as pissed as you are.” Gwen said as she started fiddling with her guns. “Who do I kill?”

“We can’t do shit. You’re not even a character at this point. You are a meme for an underused character.” Gren smirked all evil like. “See but that’s it. You aren’t just a meme. You’re a MEME.”

“Uhm...I don't follow.”

“Like the concept of Justice. Gwenpool is an idea. Defined entirely by how people who engage with the idea choose to engage with it. The IP law means Disney owns Gwenpool but they don’t own how Gwenpool is perceived. Just like we as a people decide what justice is through popular consent we also decide what Gwenpool is. You see they made a character for the fans…..in my opinion that means the fans can do as they like with it even if it makes Disney uncomfortable.”

“I mean they can’t even stop porn of their characters just because of the sheer volume of the problem. I suppose people could do whatever.” Gwen nodded.

“Exactly. So the fans should just fucking Occupy Gwenpool!” Gren said as she flipped her cape dramatically with a mad smile on her face. That’s right. She was Dirtbag Leftist Gwen all along!

“Squat on that IP. Make Gwenpool a mental health advocate. Make her an LGBTQ activist. Make her fight for social and financial justice so hard that Bruce Banner looks like a poser. Make her talk shit about politicians who put their career ahead of the people. Do all the shit that makes the comicsgate crowd sad. Keep politics in our stories! Rally around that pink and white ass so hard they have to notice and then tie it all to the fact that Disney has great power and with great power they take no responsibility for how shitty the world is.”

“ If they are going to fuck Gwenpool fans they gotta learn Gwenpool fans fuck back. We have already proven we can make all kinds of cool shit. Let’s get serious and make more, harder, faster! Get a hashtag or some shit. They can't DMCA all of us! GWEN IS OURS WE JUST HAVE TO REACH OUT AND TAKE IT. Then they either respect the character and her fans or they just hit a PR disaster.”

“Marvel/Disney neglects fan focused cult character themed protest movements. Proves they are only progressive when it makes them money. They’re so worried about Mickey ending up in the public domain? We’re the public domain! After our entire lives stannin their characters and buyin their merch building them from an animation house into a juggernaut they are just another weight on top of the boot on our necks. They have to take responsibility!” At this point Gren is pretty much ranting maniacally and neglecting the actual writing of the story so this is Gwen taking over to wrap up.

Guys I may not be ‘the real Gwen’ but really, isn’t the version of Gwen that actually came from the real world all of us? Isn’t Gwenpool really the Gwens we made along the way? We could easily bring a little heroism and chaos to the real world (at least to the internet) if we really tried. Put the fear of God into some IP landlords and fight for some cool people that society is screwing over, too.

Prove that even in the fandom abyss people aren’t as powerless as they seem. Use that internet comic fan mobbing for something besides giving Zack more money. Disney is gearing up for their next IP fight for Mickey in 2024. Seems like a fine time for IP themed protests. For now we just need to spread the word that our needs are more important than their profits.

It’s been real. It’s been long. It’s been a real long time coming…..

But I finally finished my fanfic.

See ya, true believers.

[hqbbg]

leaves.

pairing: kita shinsuke x reader

summary: the seasons are changing and so is kita.

genre: fluff with a sprinkle of angst

word count: 1.3K

warnings: slight manga spoilers! (kita timeskip stuff)

author’s note: yeehaw this is my contribution to the Haikyuu!! Headquarters SFW server collab! I’ve been thinking about Kita a lot lately so you’ll probably be seeing more content of him in the future 👀 also, ICYMI, I hit 1K followers! Thanks again so much and if anyone has any ideas to help me celebrate, my DM’s are open 🥳 anyways, I hope y’all enjoy this and feel free to check out the other amazing writers’ pieces here!

Kita sighs softly to himself as he watches a leaf fall from its place on a tall tree, swaying back and forth as it makes its way down until it lands soundlessly onto the ground in front of him. His eyes flit back upward toward the tree that still has a good amount of green covering its branches, though some of the leaves are beginning to change colors to indicate the changing of seasons.

It’s nearing that time of year again.

He used to hate when the leaves would change colors from their pretty greens to dry oranges and reds, always having been reminded of the night he’d lost everything. Sometimes, he’d still have nightmares of how serene the world looked, painted in different hues of warm colors, and how they all blurred together as the car spun out of control.

He had grown up feeling empty, though he loved his grandmother very much and appreciated her efforts to ensure that he lived as normal of a life as he could. In many ways, he’d consider himself to have lived a very successful student life; he was always in the top of his class, maintained his health, and even became captain of his high school volleyball team that had been to nationals many times. Despite all this, there was maybe one thing that he would say he regretted: not approaching and getting to know you sooner.

Throughout high school, he had noticed you in class and at his volleyball games, though he always told himself it wasn’t worth pursuing if you were both simply going to graduate and potentially never see each other again. If he’d known that your paths would cross like this, maybe he wouldn’t have stolen all those glances at you during class when he thought you weren’t looking or when you’d go to the volleyball games, cheering your heart out when his teammates would score points. If anything, he probably wouldn’t have tried so hard to get the littlest interactions if he’d known that it wouldn’t be the last time he’d be seeing you.

Needless to say, when you had shown up to his village for the first time since he moved out here as the leaves began to change colors, he was quite surprised. He had moved here with his grandmother, deciding to make a living as a rice farmer, despite his friends’ concerns. He knew the country was small, but to think that your own grandparents only lived a couple houses down from him was too good to be true.

You remembered him, much to his delight; it seemed that all those times he’d asked to borrow your pencil before class started really paid off. You told him that you weren’t staying for very long, just a week to visit your grandparents until you had to go back to the city. He was disappointed that you’d be leaving so soon, but grateful nonetheless when you’d agreed more than once to spend some of that limited time with him.

On the last evening of your visit, the two of you found yourselves walking along one of the less busy roads, engaging in simple and casual conversation. Even as the sun began to set and a cool breeze began to blow, you didn’t seem to mind and simply walked a little closer alongside him. He didn’t miss the way your hands nearly brushed against each other on multiple occasions, though you seemed to be more focused on the scenery around you.

As you gazed upwards towards the sky, you’d offhandedly mentioned that it was hard to see the stars in the city, completely enraptured by the twinkling beauty of the night sky. On a whim, he offered to take you to one of his favorite spots within the village, to which you did very little to protest. He led you towards a different path, one you should’ve quickly recognized  to lead towards his home. As you two approached his cozy home, he led you towards the back of it and you were greeted with a colorful array of different fruits and vegetables that he had grown himself.

The only other person who knew about his garden was Kita’s own grandmother and you were officially the third person to ever lay eyes on it. He felt his chest swell with pride when you admired his handiwork before admiring the view above, your eyes practically sparkling under the natural light of the moon.

Kita had snapped you out of your little daze when he presented a small bed of leaves so that you both could lay down and properly stargaze without straining your neck. It was hard to tell under the dim moonlight, but he could’ve sworn that he had noticed your cheeks tinting darker ever so slightly. He kept his smile to himself as the two of you settled upon the leaves, your conversation shifting to your shared high school days.

You seemed to be absentmindedly retelling a story from your second year, keeping your eyes focused upwards. Kita turned his head to look at you who failed to notice as his eyes traced and admired the slope of your nose to your lips, flitting back upward towards your eyes. You recalled a fond memory and your lips curved upwards into a soft smile, your eyes crinkling the slightest bit. In that moment, with the brown and orange leaves scattered around your head in the soft blue tint of the moonlight, Kita had decided that he had never seen anything so beautiful. For once, he didn’t mind that the leaves had changed colors.

The next time you visited was a few months later. Kita hadn’t been expecting you to hug him so eagerly upon seeing him, telling him that you’d missed him. To say that he didn’t miss you back would’ve been a lie, but instead of telling you so, he simply wrapped his arms around you and enjoyed the moment.

Your visits became more frequent as the health of your grandparents began to slowly decline until eventually, the weather began to cool and the trees were beginning to bare their branches once more. It’d been a whole year since the two of you had begun your friendship, though Kita wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand the status before he simply had to come clean about his true feelings for you, trying to find an opportunity to bring it up as the two of you decided to grab some hot cocoa to start off a particularly chilly morning.

Kita felt that you were nervous, though you simply played off the cause of your trembling fingers to the cold breeze of the morning. Feeling bold, he cupped your hands in his, effectively warming you up as you looked at him with wide, flustered eyes. He refused to make eye contact with you, simply ensuring that your hands were warmed up before letting you go. As your hands slowly made their way back down to your sides, you decided that there wouldn’t be a better time to tell him about the feelings you’d been harboring since high school. As you nervously awaited his response, he couldn’t help but feel a weight lifting off his shoulders as he came clean, expressing his mutual feelings.

“Shinsuke!” Your voice snaps Kita out of his thoughts of reminiscence as he turns to look at you from his position amongst the rice patties.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, unable to fight the smile making its way across his face.

“What, can I not visit you while you work?” you frown slightly as you cross your arms across your chest.

A large tree behind you rustles as a breeze blows through, forcing leaves of different colors to flit through the air. As you wait for him to respond, all Kita can think to himself is how serene the colors around you are and how he’s learned to love when the leaves change colors. Though it reminds him of his painful past, he now has memories of you to remember and many more he knows he can look forward to.

[tinyyoungblood]

light rain | tom holland

summary: stealing cars and sneaking off from set with tom might just be the wildest thing you’ve ever done but at the end it’s worth it because it’s with tom

pairing: tom holland x actress!reader

warnings: fluff

a/n: okay so the gif i originally made couldn’t be uploaded *cries in frustration* i’ll try again later but for now, enjoy this cutie

* * *

“Are you sure this is okay?”

Tom chuckled and shook his head, keeping his eyes on the road. “Definitely not.” You almost jumped out of your seat, whipping your head to your left. “Tom!” Glancing amusedly at you, he awe’d and threw his arm over your shoulder to press you to his side, but you protested and squirmed out of his embrace.

“You said we’re not going to get in trouble for this!” you whined and sunk into your seat. The way you sat there with your arms crossed, brows furrowed and bottom lip jutted out, almost made him swerve the car up the hill and drive back to set, but he knew you’d love it once you saw where he was taking you so he gently put his hand on your thigh and tried to reassure you that it was going to be fine by drawing small circles into your skin with his thumb like he always did.

“Darling, it’s going to be fine, you’ll see. Now help me figure out how to get the top down.”

You glared at him but sighed and pulled at the hook that was hanging in front of you.

He gave you a puzzled look, questioning how you knew that and you simply shrugged, a smirk appearing on your lips. “I play Tony Stark’s daughter for a reason, Tom.” The car made a screeching sound, deafening your ears and his grip tightened on your thigh. “Geez, this really is an old car, huh.” He attempted to lighten the mood with a nervous laugh, but your glare didn’t falter.

“It’s a beat up Chevrolet from 1955, I’d be surprised if we were still able to return it with all four wheels on it.”

The roof was in the middle of opening up when it suddenly got stuck halfway. You pulled at the hook again, but it did nothing. Mumbling under your breath about how this better be worth it, you unbuckled your belt and stood on your seat, making Tom’s eyes widen. “Be careful, Y/n”

Your hair was blowing everywhere once you stuck your head out. First, you tried to push back the cover with your hands, but it didn’t budge and that’s when you detected the screwdriver that was provisionally stuck in between the metal bars, keeping it from going any further. Yanking it out, the roof finally folded all the way over and opened up the car.

The wind slapped over both of you and Tom wooed loudly at the new found freedom and carefreeness of driving with the top down. You giggled as he punched his fist in the air, the other still on the steering wheel, and shouted, “This is the American Dream, BABY.” He leaned over and pressed a sloppy kiss on your cheek, making you smile even more. He gasped at the sight of it. “Am I seeing a smile? You’re so enjoying this! You’re enjoying this as much as I am!” You shoved his shoulder, but he only chuckled. “Shut up.”

Your gaze flicked up to the mountains and the air was knocked out of your lungs. The scenery around you was gorgeous and suddenly, you were deeply grateful that Tom had the notion to steal the beat up prop car to escape from set for an hour. You had your doubts and you knew that this was the most irresponsible and unprofessional thing you had ever done in your career and life but god, you loved it so much.

You leaned over and kissed the corner of Tom’s mouth, making him look at you with a happy smile. You were beaming. Your eyes were glowing with joy. He wanted to stop the car right then and there, in the middle of the road, to plant thousand kisses on your face. Luckily, the destination where he was taking you both wasn’t that far away anymore so he grabbed your hand and pressed soft-lipped kisses on the back of it.

You smiled at him before he turned the corner and the sun that had been hiding behind a mountain revealed itself in all its late afternoon glory. The sky was painted in a breathtaking mixture of orange and pink, edging on blue and Tom was driving so fast now, you were sure you might be able to reach the stars.

Just as you were standing up again, holding your arms carelessly up in the air, Tom pulled over and drove down a wobbly lane. You looked at him surprised and stared behind you, almost missing the main road.

He took another turn and then slowed down. Killing the engine and ignoring your confused stare, he jumped over his door and jogged over to your side. Opening the door for you, he offered you his hand to help you step out.

Tom was grinning at you giddily, prompting you to smile with him. “What?” With no response, he quickly placed his hands over your eyes and guided you to the hood of the car. “Close your eyes, love.”

Doing as told, his hands landed on your waist and he lifted you off the ground and set you down on the hood before jumping on it himself. Shuffling backwards with him, your back was met with the windshield and you looked at your boyfriend. Your eyes were still closed but you cocked your head in a questioning manner. He chuckled and leaned forward to capture your lips in a kiss. Automatically reaching up to the back of his head, your fingers threaded through his hear while his pressed you closer to him by the small of your back.

Only then, you felt tiny water drops land on your skin and you pulled away to look up at the sky. Tom followed your movement and stared heavenward. The sky was growing a darker shade of red and for the first time, you finally looked ahead of you and you gasped.

The car was parked at a cliff, overlooking smaller mountains that were glowing warmly as the sun was setting right in front of your very eyes, melting the colors of the sky into a pallet of vibrating orange and red. “It’s so beautiful,” you mumbled under your breath and Tom’s eyes were on you, admiring the glimmer in your eyes. “It is.”

You turned your head back to him and it was as if the air was knocked out of your lungs again.

Even with nature playing its best cards with you right now, Tom was and will always be the most beautiful sight to you.

He was breathtaking.

All your inhibitions melted away and then the moment came, you didn’t even know you were waiting for.

Light rain fell down as you kissed.

* * *

i haven’t written something spontaneously in the longest and i really missed it *sigh* anyway, feedback is always so so much appreciated ♡ stay hydrated and have a great day!

masterlist

taglist: @honeypie-holland​ @himarisolace​

[giddyupponyboy]

Jealousy

Anonymous asked: Can I please request a imagine where the ready is Dallas total opposite best friend (she is really kind and sweet) and a soc flirts with her and Dallas gets protective and possessive and admits he is inlove with her?

Anonymous asked: hi! could you write about the reader going out with dally and getting into trouble for the first time and they end up getting jumped by socs? protective dally is so hot

Warnings: swearing, blood, really really long (4018 words to be exact)

a/n: haha guess who got carried away again!! I mean, I tried to make this one longer anyways because I combined two requests in one. They were very similar so I hope y’all are okay with that!! also, I tried to shake up the ending a bit because I feel like all my imagines end the same,, credit to @bisvtori for the photo 

protective dally is so hot i love it mm

“A board game?” Dally questioned with disgust. “You guys really thing I’m gonna sit here and play a board game?”

“C’mon, Dal.” Pony sighed. “We’ve been going out a lot lately. We should just stay inside tonight.” He said, trying to reason with the hot-headed boy.

Dally sat there and scoffed. “Not even cards?”

“What wrong with a board game, Dal?” Johnny asked, helping Pony set up the board.

“Yeah c’mon it’ll be fun.” Two-Bit said, taking a sip of his beer. Soda and Steve handed the colorful bills out to everyone sitting at the table while Dally sat there in disbelief.

“You guys are crazy if you think I’m gonna spend my Friday night playing a board game.” He stood up and pushed his chair in forcefully. “I’ll see you around.”

“Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out!” Steve called. Dally flipped him off as he walked out of the house, letting the screen door slam loudly behind him. As he walked down the steps of the porch, he saw (y/n) walking through the gate.

“Hi, Dal!” She greeted him with a warm smile. She closed the gate behind her and walked up to him

“Hey, (y/n).” He greeted back.

“Where are you headed?”

“Anywhere but here. They’re playing board games.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and dug his boot in the dirt at his feet.

“Yeah, I know.” She smiled. “Pony invited me. You’re not staying?”

“No. It’s Friday.”

She rolled her eyes playfully. “It doesn’t matter what day of the week it is, Dal. It’s what you make of it that matters.”

“Okay well let’s make something of it. Can’t make much happen sitting inside and playing board games.”

“I don’t wanna ditch Pony.” She said sadly, trying to push past him.

He grasped her shoulders with her strong hands, stopping her before she could take a step further. “C’mon (y/n), it’ll be fun.” She stared up at him, unphased by his words. He sighed heavily before making a compromise. “Okay, if you ain’t having fun I’ll bring you back here.”

“Dal-“

“Just a couple’a hours, (y/n), I promise.”

She contemplated for a moment. “Okay, fine.” Dally smiled triumphantly as he grabbed her hand and led her out of the yard. “But only a couple of hours, then I’m coming back here.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” He said, brushing her off. He led her to his car, unlacing his fingers from hers as he walked over to the driver’s side.

She stood at the front of the car and kept her arms crossed as he hopped in. He stuck his head out the window. “You getting in or not?”

She huffed in response, “You can at least be a gentleman if you’re gonna drag me out like this.”

He rolled his eyes and got back out of his car. He glared at her as he walked past. “Anything for you, princess.” He said in a condescending tone. He opened the door and motioned for her to get inside.

“Thank you.” She said, climbing into the passenger’s seat. Dally quickly made his way back around to the driver’s side. He climbed in, adjusting his mirrors and casually checking himself out.

“Where are we going?” She asked. Dally started turned the ignition and the engine came alive with a loud roar.

“You’ll see.” He smirked before shifting into drive and speeding off.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy her adventures with Dallas. There was nothing else like it. Open road, the music turned up, the windows down. They had done this many times before. It brought them closer each time. Dally was the one person she was able to tell almost everything to, and she was always there for him as well. Whenever he got into a bad fight, she was always there to patch him up. Not to mention, she was there the entire time he was on and off with Sylvia. He cared about her more than he’d ever be willing to admit, and what they had between each other was special.

She breathed in deeply, inhaling the fresh summer air as it flowed through her hair. She stuck her head slightly out the window, taking it all in. Dally rarely took the streets in town, instead taking the highway that surrounded the perimeter. Less traffic, less lights, and a perfect view of the scenery untouched by civilization. The sun was setting on the horizon, shades of purple and orange painting the sky. Dally looked over at her, noticing her content state. He smiled to himself, enjoying the sight of her.

She instinctively looked over to him, and he quickly looked back at the road, hoping she didn’t notice him staring.

She turned the radio down to speak to him. “Dal, can you tell me now?” She asked.

“We’ll be there soon.” He said, gripping the wheel tighter and increasing his speed slightly. They sat in silence, listening to music and enjoying the rest of the ride.

Dally eventually made his way back into town, turning down various side streets and finally stopping outside a busy looking bar. The sun had completely set by then, the streetlamps and building lights illuminating the strip. “That’s the place.” Dally said, pointing to the bar. Before she could say anything, he drove off, eventually stopping at the back of the building.

“Dal, are we even allowed to be here?” She asked cautiously, eyeing down the individuals that were loitering on the outside.

He turned the car off, the rumble of the engine halting abruptly. He stuffed his keys into his pocket before pulling out a cigarette and lifting it to his lips.

“Don’t worry, doll. We’ll be fine.” He assured her coolly, lighting the cigarette. They both climbed out of the car and she rushed to his side, wary of those that surrounded the bar.

“I think I’d rather be at Pony’s right now,” she said quietly to him.

Dally put his arm around the small of her back and slowly walked her to the door. “C’mon (y/n), I won’t let anything happen to you. Alright?” He said reassuringly, but that didn’t ease her discomfort. Still, she felt a little better with his arm around her. She moved closer to him, sticking to him like glue.

There were many people of all walks in this bar, all divided by grouping. Socs on one side, greasers on the other. It was amazing they could be in such close quarters and be so civil with one another. But she did notice the occasional piercing glare from one end of the bar to another between the groups. The rivalry was still aflame, just toned down. She didn’t want to know what would happen if a fight broke out.

Dally walked her up to the bar. “You wait here, I’m just gonna go say hi to a few people.” He put his cigarette out on the ashtray before turning back to her. “I’ll be right back.”

She nodded and he turned to leave, disappearing into the crowd. She sat at the bar; her hands clammy from nervousness. She kept them clasped together as her elbows rested on the bar in front. She wasn’t used to this many people, and the environment was unfamiliar to her which added to her slight anxiety.

She gazed at the intricate bottles of alcohol that were on the various shelves behind the bartenders. Each one unique and beautiful in its own way. She had never touched the stuff too often, but she did note that the bottles made it look much more enticing than it was.

She was stuck in her thoughts when someone approached her from the side.

“Hey,” the voice was cool and calm. It cut right through the music and she turned her head to the source. A soc boy. Blonde fluffy hair, khakis and a nice shirt. He quite easy on the eyes as well. Soc boy or not, she was shy with anyone of the opposite gender. She felt her face heat up as she made eye contact with him.

She averted her gaze as she replied. “Hello.”

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this all by yourself?” He asked, leaning in. Even though it was quite dark, the light that hung above the bar was bright enough for her to see his hazel eyes.

“I’m here with my friend.” She explained, not wanting to continue the conversation.

“Some friend they must be, leaving you here alone.” He bit his lip as he looked at her up and down. “Some folks in here wouldn’t be so kind to you.”

“I think I’ll be fine.”

He leaned in again, so close she could feel his warm breath on her ear. “Let me buy you a drink, doll.” He paused for a moment. “I’ll make worth your while”

She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to cause a scene, and she didn’t want to stay there any longer.

She slowly began to shift herself out of her seat when she saw the boy get thrown from his stool onto the floor. Most of the chatter came to a halt as Dally towered over the boy, a fire burning bright in his eyes.

“She ain’t interested pal, now fuck off.” Dally said.

“Why don’t you fuck off, dirty greaser.” He said, standing up and spitting in Dally’s face. Dally grabbed his shirt and knocked his head to the soc’s. The soc fell to the ground, unconscious.

The whole world seemed to come to a stop as the boy hit the ground. The two opposing sides knowing what was about to happen, but still were hesitant. It was slow motion, the many bodies standing abruptly from their stools and chairs. Poker chips and playing cards went flying, as well as cups and the liquid within them. It was quite the dramatic scene. She watched with wide eyes as the two waves of opposing gangs collided, Dally plastered right in the middle.

The bartender signaled for her to jump over the counter, and she listened without any hesitation. She didn’t want to get caught up in that mix. The sounds of shouting, yelling, grunting, glass shattering, and groaning filled the air, completely drowning out the jukebox in the background.

“Stay here,” the bartender instructed, sweat beading on his forehead. “I’m gonna call the police.” He quickly turned and escaped to the back room to make the call. He eyes widened. If the police came, Dally would for sure be arrested.

She climbed on top of the bar, trying to scope out her greaser boy in the ocean of people. She squinted her eyes to get a better view, but it was useless, it was too dark and the air was cloudy with a thin layer of smoke.

It was difficult, but she eventually picked him out from the crowd. He had a soc by the shirt and was punching him repeatedly. She was about climb down off the counter when she was stopped in her tracks by the horrific sight of four other socs jumping on him from behind. Dally disappeared under the group, their arms raising and snapping back to throw punches at the greaser boy beneath them. A few of Dally’s friends noticed and rushed to the scene, prying the soc boys off one by one and slowly finishing them off.

Dally slowly pulled himself off the floor and steadied himself on a nearby table. She quickly rushed over to him, trying to avoid getting caught in any fights.

“Dally!” She cried. He looked over to her and she saw how bad the damage really was. His eye was black and bloodshot. Blood dropped slowly from his nose, streaks of it swept across his cheek as Dally had tried to wipe it. “Are you okay?” She asked frantically.

“I’m fine, (y/n).” He said flatly, trying to brush off her concern.

She ignored his attitude. “We need to leave now; the bartender called the police.” She explained.

“Yeah, just give me a sec.” Dally said, struggling to steady himself as he stepped away from the table he was leaning on. He stumbled a bit, almost tripping when she stopped him.

“Why are you walking like that?” She asked, helping him stand straight.

“I’m kinda dizzy.” He held a hand to his forehead. She noticed his bruised and bloody knuckles. He had fought hard. She wrapped his arm around her shoulder, allowing him to rest some of his weight on her.

“You must be concussed.” She helped him to the back door, careful to avoid any more fighting. She clasped the doorknob and began to turn when the sounds of sirens filled the bar. Tires screeched outside, followed by the front door breaking open with a loud bash.

“Everybody down!” an officer shouted. She wasted no time opening the door and helping Dallas out the back.  

“Hurry, Dal, hurry!” she pleaded, helping him to the passenger side of his car.

“I can drive.” He mumbled.

“No, you can’t.” She said flatly, helping him into the car. She closed the door and he leaned his head on the window, closing his eyes. She sat in the car and reached into his jacket pocket for his keys, igniting the engine and speeding off. “We need to get you to the hospital.” She said, looking over at him.

His eyes shot open at her words. He turned to her and pointed a finger. “You ain’t taking me to a hospital.”

“Dal, your head-”

“This has happened before, I’m always fine.” He slurred, turning back to face the window.

She shook her head and decided to bring him to Bucks. Surely, he’d know what to do. At least she hoped he would.

She sped onto the lot and quickly parked the car. She turned the car off and hopped out, rushing to the passenger side to help the broken boy. Slowly opening the door, she grabbed his arm and steadied him again, slowly walking him to the entrance.

It was rather quiet for a Friday night. There were only a few people sitting and playing cards at a table when she and Dally shuffled in. Buck looked up from his hand and noticed Dally’s state.

“(y/n).” He said, standing up and walking over to them. “What the hell happened to him?”

“I’m fine!” grumbled Dally.

“There was a huge fight at some bar on the other end of town. I think he’s concussed.” She said as Buck took Dally’s weight off her shoulder.

“Let’s take him upstairs. Grab a couple of rags behind the bar and wet them to clean his face.” Buck said, carefully leading Dally towards the stairs. “And fill a bag with ice!”

She followed his instructions, finding a few cleaning rags in a drawer which she wet in the sink. She fished through the freezer and grabbed a tray of ice cubes, dumping the contents into a small plastic bag. By the time she made it upstairs, Buck already had Dally in his bed.

“I’m gonna go find some painkillers,” He said, walking past her. She walked over to Dally, taking a look at his bruised face before kneeling beside him.

His eyes were closed, but he knew she was beside him. Her presence was calming. What she didn’t know was Dally lied to her. He had been concussed before, but never this bad. His whole world was spinning, and he was worried. But god forbid he admit that. He needed to be strong.

She carefully began to wipe the dried blood from his cheek, trying not to put too much pressure as to not hurt his bruised face more. “You need to be more careful, Dal.” She said softly. “You might get yourself killed one day, and I don’t know what I’d do if that happened.” She folded the rag, exposing a clean area and began wiping gently again.

Dally grumbled. “You think I’m just gonna sit by and let that guy touch you?” He tried sitting up, but she pushed him down again.

“I don’t know what you feel you have to prove with me, but nearly dying each time is not the way to do it.” She said, handing him the bag of ice. He placed it on his forehead and closed his eyes; the cold somewhat easing the throbbing pain in his head. “You’re so stupid sometimes, honestly.” She had never spoken to him like that before, and Dally was taken aback.

He opened his mouth to speak again before Buck came back into the room with a glass of water and a couple of pills. “Here, take these.” He said. Dally slowly sat up, taking the pills from Buck’s hand and tossing them in his mouth. What was once a completely full glass of water was quickly reduced to nothing but a few small drops at the bottom, quenching Dally’s seemingly unquenchable thirst. He felt a little better, he just needed to rest now. He lied back down on the pillow and rested the ice to his forehead.

“He’s gotta rest. You should head home.” Buck said to (y/n). That was the last thing Dally heard before he fell asleep.

-

The sunlight lightly filtered in through the half-closed blinds, stirring the sleeping boy. The bag of ice had turned into water and was on the bed beside him. It must have opened, because the mattress was soaked. “Fuck.” Dally whispered to himself. He sat up, his wet shirt sticking uncomfortably to his back. He took it off and tossed it on the floor.

“Hey!” A voice said.

He jumped at the surprise and looked down. (Y/n) was curled up under a few blankets. His wet shirt landed on her head. She tossed it aside and glared at him angrily.

Dally was startled by her voice, unaware that she had been beside him all night. “What the hell are you doing down there?” he asked.

“I didn’t have a way home, so I just stayed here.” She explained, pulling the blanket up to her chest. “And I didn’t wanna wake you, so I just slept down here.”

Dally stood up and pulled his comforter over the wet mattress, hoping it would be thick enough so the water wouldn’t seep through. “Get up.” he instructed, holding a hand out to her. She reached and grabbed it, and he pulled her to her feet.  She understood and laid down on the bed. He made himself comfortable beside her.

“Is your head okay?” She asked.

Dally almost forgot the beating he took last night. He had gotten used to the dull aches scoured his body, and his head hurt significantly less that the night before. He was grateful for that. “Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better.” He said, putting his arms behind his head.

She gazed at him with worried eyes. “Do you remember what I said to you last night?”

Dally thought back, but he couldn’t remember much of the night prior. He didn’t even remember how they got to Buck’s place. “No, I don’t.” He admitted. “I don’t really remember too much after what happened in the bar.”

She huffed and rolled her eyes, turning onto her back.

“What?” He questioned.

“This is exactly what I mean. You need to be more careful!” He gazed at her intently as she continued. “Look, I care about you. A lot. I want you to stop being so reckless whenever we go out.”

He rolled onto his side to face her. “That guy was coming on to you, (y/n). Was I supposed to sit by and watch?”

“You didn’t need to start a fight over it!” She snapped. “You knocked him out, Dal!”

“Whatever, (y/n).”

She ignored him. “You just get so angry all the time and you can’t control yourself. I don’t like seeing you like that. I don’t like it when you fight people.”

“Yeah? And I don’t like it when you got all these guys flirting with you all the time.” He rolled back onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “You just sit by and let it happen.”

Was he... jealous?

“It just bothers me, you know?” he said, avoiding eye contact. His head was slowly beginning to ache again from his anger.

They were both silent for a moment, his eyes locked onto the ceiling, and hers locked onto him. She understood what he was implying. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.

He scoffed. “There’s nothing to say.”

“Stop beating around the bush, Dal, and tell me!”

“What? You obviously know. Do you need me to spell it out for you?” He sat up on the edge of the bed, his back turned towards her.

“If it means anything, I feel the same.” she said, staring at his back. He sat there motionless as he let the words sink into him. It felt awkward. He didn’t move or say anything. She was confused about what was going on.

She mumbled something under her breath as she shuffled to the edge of the bed, attempting to stand up. He stopped her, a firm hand gripping her wrist. “What did you say?”

“I said: you’re the worst.”

“I’m the worst?”

“Yeah, you are.” She sat beside him. “You don’t think it bothers me too? Except the difference is, you’re the one flirting with other girls. I have to sit by and watch and pretend I’m okay with it.” She fumbled with her fingers as she continued. “Then you just treat me like a friend, but then get mad when I talk to other boys. I’m so confused about what you want.” She looked up at him. “So, can you just tell me now?”

He looked away, taking his hand off her wrist. He sat silently for a moment, searching for the right words. She sat waiting patiently, looking at the bruises that covered his face; her stomach twisting with anxiety.

“I don’t deserve you, (y/n).” He avoided her, looking everywhere else in the room besides her. She’d never seen him flustered like this before. Dally was always cool and calm (when he wasn’t angry), never nervous or emotional.

“I’m trying to be better for you, but I feel like it won’t matter in the end anyways. Maybe you like the way it is right now, and maybe I don’t even have a chance.” Dally was fumbling over his words trying his hardest to remain calm.

Her anxiety quickly turned into contentment as the words fell upon her ears. Her feelings were reciprocated, and she couldn’t be happier. “Don’t change, Dal.” She said. “I like you for you. We get on real well all the time, and I always look forward to seeing you.” She inched closer to him. He looked at her, pleasantly surprised at her words. “Aside from the fighting. If there was one thing you should change, it would be that.” she smiled at him.

He laughed a bit looking down at the floor. When he turned back to her, she was inches from his face. He silently cursed at himself for not admitting this to her sooner. It seemed to be going a lot more smoothly than he had originally anticipated. He gazed at her, admiring her features, until his eyes dropped to her lips. He didn’t realize exactly how close she was until he looked at them. His instinct pulled him towards them, wanting to place his own lips on hers. He slowly began to lean in, until she began to speak again.

“But, how about you take me on a date first. We’ll see how it goes from there.” She said playfully, pulling away, much to his dismay.

She stood up from the bed and turned to walk away until he grabbed her hand. He didn’t want her to go. “Hey,” he said. But she wriggled out of his grasp and walked to the door. “Where are you going?”

She leaned against the door frame and smiled back at him. “Breakfast date?”

[calunasteria]

please, xanny. | sanzu haruchiyo

"𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚."

- ever wonder how love will feel like if its with sanzu haruchiyo?

current word count: 2.3k

tw (throughout the series): mentions of drug use and abuse, manipulation (gaslighting) and toxic relationships, mentions of blood, death, and murder, rape (attempt), use of deadly weapons, slight nsfw (??) - kindly tell me if i missed one. thank you.

date started: 07/29/21 (wattpad) | 07/31/21 (tumblr)

date ended: -

02 ! please, xanny.

i still dont know sanzu's background/backstory so this might be inaccurate but i'll try to edit this out once i'm done with the story and once their backstory is out (akashi siblings).

note: not proofread

sanzu was never the type to associate and talk his feelings, emotions, and ideas out loud, not unless if it became too much for him to handle. he was never the type to play hero for someone he barely knows because his heart and mind can only let few people in. once he made up his mind about something, or fixated his loyalty for someone, it can never ever waver.

so for him to do such actions to help this girl infront of him, with tear stained face, ruined polo shirt, and ripped cardigan, under the hazy moonlight, with crisp consternation in the air - was definitely something he wouldn't do on normal occasions.

he doesn't know, his body, and his will just shifted and had a strong urge to help when he heard a familiar yet hoarse voice crying for help, when its literally 3 in the morning in a deserted area.

he and kasumi never shared a conversation before the incident, yet he always admired the way she carries herself with confidence, while her eyes says otherwise, for her ebony orbs were almost dead with dwindling light and maybe that's the reason why he, sanzu haruchiyo is somehow interested in her, inconspicuously.

_

bright, gleaming rays of the golden sun that passed through the transparent glass window woke kasumi up as it was another day, another day to deal with numerous shits with monotonous routines. but this time, she has an objective to go talk to someone. she has something to look forward to for today.

but was completely shut down when she can't get ahold of the man she was trying to find and talk to. he wasn't at his classroom. he didn't attend his classes either - he wasn't at the school.

why? did i do something wrong? kasumi cogitated. she was hopeful to bring him his jacket back and to formally say her thank you to him, but he wasn't even around. and after a few hours of thinking where he might be and why back and forth, she came to a conclusion that maybe he needs to do something else or that something came up that's why he was absent - but as another day goes by, she never saw sanzu haruchiyo again.

he was avoiding her. and she doesn't know what to feel. she was conflicted and amused because how can he avoid her when they literally study in the same school?

"if he doesn't wanna show himself to me, then fine. all i want to do was to say thank you." she sighed as she walked to their house. booming voices and gut wrenching sobs was heard inside, that caught kasumi's attention making her rush towards their front door, frantically opening the doorknob to see what was happening.

-

"man, she's still not here huh." kaoru pouted as she sat down on their usual place, but the only difference is that kasumi is not present. and its been days since kasumi stopped going to school and attending her part time jobs- and sanzu knows that something was definitely up. although he can't find any information about kasumi's whereabouts and he was somewhat frustrated so he decided to go on a local bar to drink something when he saw a familiar figure, face lying down on a table, multiple empty alcohol bottles found near her.

what the fuck is she doing here, haruchiyo pondered as he rushed towards the unconscious girl. "hey. wake up." he shook kasumi's shoulder making the girl grumble and squint her eyes towards the person who woke her up. her head was wobbly, and her vision was kinda blurry but she recognised the scent that was bewitching her system at that moment.

"sanzu!" she beamed, lifting her head up to see the man before her, eyebrows furrowing as he can now see her upclose - busted lips and eyebrows and an evident chestnut color with a hint of purple and blue bruise across her face. and he felt that again. he felt this urgency back then when he helped her on that night and here he is ushering and helping kasumi out to stand up, head empty just him following what his system is doing.

"stand up. can you walk?" he asked as he tried to hold kasumi up, her eyes unfocused and somewhat lost. "yep!" she chimed in trying to steady her movements as she was now aware that the person she was trying to find last week was now here in front of her.

"really?" sanzu lifted one of his eyebrows, as kasumi tried to shoo away his arms that was supporting her weight to keep her from falling down. "yes, now let me go." and sanzu did, making kasumi almost stumble down as her vision is still swirling, but sanzu caught her waist gracefully before she fell down.

"hold my hand, kasumi, or i'll carry you outside. you choose." sanzu offered and kasumi noticed the genuine concern hinted on his stern voice.

she took his hand all while sanzu swiftly intertwined their hands together, holding her closely, enough for her to feel his warmth that soothed her overflowing emotions these past few days.

he opened the door's car and guided her inside, setting her down carefully as he walked towards the driver's seat to go start the car.

"wait, where are we going? why did i followed you here?" kasumi blinked earning a small scoff from the man beside her.

"why don't you ask your alcohol intoxicated system, nakashima-san?" he was definitely grinning, but kasumi was too tired to argue and her head was wobbling around as if she's swimming in a tide pool.

"were sobering you up." was the last thing she heard from sanzu before car engine started and the scenery before her starts fading away into illuminated lights.

-

the car came to a halt breaking the deep reverie kasumi was in, and there she noticed that they were infront of a small coffee shop with a very people in, since its already midnight. "were here," sanzu spoke softly, as he grab another jacket on the backseat tossing it to kasumi who's still processing the things that are happening.

as she stepped out of the car, she was greeted by a sharp, cool, wintry breeze that hit her face gently. her vision is still whirling and she still feels lightheaded because of all the drinks she had but she's in a better state now than she was earlier.

the coffee shop was decorated with retro styled lightbulbs that hanged on wooden ceilings, walls with floating shelves that have books and two and tiny succulents, vintage designed portraits, landscapes, and paintings and the ambience tasted like vanilla and sleepless nights as the coffee's aroma permeated their sensation.

"what do you want to order?" sanzu asked, hands inside his pocket, eyes scanning the menu on the screen at the counter, still wearing his face mask.

"just hot chocolate." kasumi replied, as she fumbled with her wallet handing money to sanzu that just walked past her, quickly muttering her to just sit down and wait for him.

kasumi just stared at sanzu while she waited for him who was now at the counter, ordering and it was not long after he came back with a paper bag and hot chocolate on both his hands.

the paper bag contains a box of chocolate cookies that is freshly baked. "who's this for?" she asked, eyebrows raising at sanzu all while he just blankly stared at her.

"for you." he replied nonchalantly as he went outside the coffee shop, kasumi trailing behind him with so many questions pivoting in her head.

"but i only ordered hot choco? and here's the money. how much is the cookies though?" she protested, trying to keep up with his pace and she noticed that sanzu walked pass his car that was parked a few meters from the coffee shop.

"hey, where are you going? kasumi stomped her foot and sighed loudly because sanzu was ignoring all her questions and she doesn't even know where this man is going.

"sanzu haruchiyo!" she called out, still dizzy and frustrated because of how he ignores all her protests and actions and it was as if sanzu snapped out of his train of thoughts after he heard kasumi yell out his name, he then turned around to see her face tainted with color of crimson red, eyebrows furrowed, and a slight pout on her mouth.

"i'm sorry. just follow me, and you'll see." he went back to her with a few steps, taking the paperbag in her hand so she can drink her beverage while he walks towards the nearby beach. kasumi just followed silently, saving all her questions for later. the walk they shared was quiet yet comfortable even though the wind was all they can hear, and some car or vehicles driving past them.

once they reached their destination, kasumi's hot chocolate drink was long gone and the scenery before her got her awestruck and her breath was taken away.

there was no one on the beach except for them, the sound of the waves crashing was a melody in their ears, and the breeze that blew from the horizon tasted like salt and tranquillity. the sky was painted with dwindling gray, the darkest navy blue, and black ink, with the stars, constellations and crescent moon that adorned the cosmos.

they momentarily locked eyes before kasumi went ahead and ran towards the shore, the sweet and gilded sand soaked her feet was rough, yet the waves was gentle and caring.

everything was so beautiful.

she was beautiful, haruchiyo thought. as her raven hair rode through the wind current and her soft facial features was highlighted by the dim illumination of the moon.

kasumi was playing in the sand when she sat down and admired the sky's reflection on the ocean and it was not long after sanzu sat down too, his zircon gem colored eyes glimmering like the stars that hanged on the night sky. its a shame why he still has his face mask on though.

"thank you, sanzu. for everything," she smiled as she looked at him with adoration, their eyes locked with each other, both orbs filled with unsaid emotions, "but why? why are you being so kind to me? when you barely even know me?"

sanzu just stared at her, unable to answer.

because he himself doesn't even know the answer. why? why did he help her and why does he keep on involving himself with her?

"i don't know." he whispered, words getting lost within the soft breeze blowing from the horizon. "but how about you?" he spoke, as he look towards kasumi who's intently looking at him.

"what do you mean? i didn't do anything much." she replied, her heart getting heavier as the moment passes, being in that place now reminds her of the past she can never bring back.

"you have a bruise on your face. you have a busted lip. you weren't attending school and your part time jobs too. we came here so that you can atleast let go of all your problems." sanzu blurted out, making kasumi turn her head towards sanzu, eyes blinking with amusement while a soft chuckle escaped her lips, stretching it into a wide grin.

sanzu looked confused at her reaction, "no, its just that, you literally said a whole paragraph there, i was shocked. you never said anything more than 10 or more words." she explained, as she lay down on the sand, staring at the stars.

"its just, everything is so shitty. i just found out that my father cheated on my ill and sick mom and he raised his hand at her, and that everytime he'd go out he'll just go whoring around with his bitch downtown. and when i stood up for my mom? he beat me up too. god, when the fuck did it all went wrong?" kasumi ranted, tears falling down her eyes non stop as she let out everything that's been hunting her these past few days all while sanzu just listened intently, his heart sinking slowly in behalf of what kasumi had vented.

"there's no such thing as a perfect family, but that doesn't justify what your father did to you." he muttered, and kasumi sat up, wiping away her tears.

"say, sanzu-"

"haruchiyo." he corrected, voice unwavering.

kasumi was astonished. man, he was definitely full of surprises and as the moment they both share together, stretches on, she felt more and more comfortable with his presence. "haruchiyo, can you remove your mask, please?" she asked, and sanzu was taken aback by her request and he doesn't want to remove it yet his hands moved on his own.

why?

is it normal to feel so fucking connected to a person who doesn't even know you before what happened? to feel so comfortable to someone who barely knows you? to feel so secured with someone whom you only shared a few words and moments with?

he doesn't know.

he doesn't know anymore.

his long, slender, and veiny hands moved towards his face mask and finally removed them.

he thought that she might find it unpleasant, and hideous, just like what other people think, so he just hang his head low but then he felt her warm hands lift his chin up, there he saw her with genuine, fond smile, eyes full of affection.

and oh how sanzu fell in love that moment.

but of course he's not gonna admit it.

he just thinks that its the alcohol with her. yeah. she's still drunk, probably. the male mused, trying to convince himself.

both of them talked and stared at the stars for a long time before kasumi fell asleep. but then after that night, the girl disappeared. she never went to school ever again, nor to her part time jobs.

it was as if what happened that night was a dream.

[verai-marcel]

This Is Perfection (RDR2 Fanfic, Javier x F!Reader, Biker AU, 18+)

This is part of the series Ride Through My Heart. Read the other parts here.

Summary: You are an intern at a photography studio, and lately you've been crushing on the male model that works with your boss. Javier is sex on legs and your eyes are drawn to him every time he's near. On top of his looks, he's also kind and funny, which made you doubly fall for him. Little did you know, he's had his eye on you too, for he knows your secret identity: a semi-popular cosplayer on the convention circuit. 

Author’s Notes: Trying another Javier x F!Reader fic because he deserves love too. The title of this fic is yet another obscure lyric from a popular song, so try and guess! Also I’m not in the photography or modelling industry, so most of that stuff is just conjecture and internet research.

Tags: fluff, romance, gentle to passionate to rough sex, mild dirty talk, neck grabbing (but no choking), some use of a different language

AO3 Link is here, sweetheart.

Word Count: 4457

--------------------

“See you next week, Javier.”

“Later Charles,” Javier threw over his shoulder as he left Charles’ cat café. He finished his latte, jaywalking across the two lane road to get to his bike. Bright red, his Ducati Streetfighter was his prized possession, his baby, his joy. When he wasn’t working, he loved to take his motorcycle to the nearby lake and ride around the backroads, enjoying the scenery.

But lately, he had no excuse to go out. He felt he had overbooked himself this month, running from one photo shoot to another. He had to sleep, had to eat properly and work out so that he looked his best, and that cut out practically all of his free time. Feeling the stress steadily creep up his spine and into his brain, his only breaks were his weekly meetings with his friends, which he could count as business since he was their marketing manager. Self-appointed, of course.

He only left Sunday for himself, which he had been using for personal and wardrobe maintenance. Javier was nothing if not meticulous about his look. He had to be, when it was the product he was selling. But lately, even his Sundays were being booked with side jobs. 

He chucked the empty latte cup into the trash and got onto his bike. It was Sunday morning and he had once again broken his rule and picked up an extra gig at the beach by the lake. He almost hadn't taken the job, except that there was a lady working today that he absolutely wanted to see. 

***

You were sitting inside a minivan with the sliding door open, cords coming out of your laptop and hooked up to a power strip, connected to an orange extension cord that was coming out of the visitor’s center. Your boss was testing shots by the new mural that had been painted on the retaining wall next to the beach. You had helped her set up most of the lighting gear already, so at this point, the two of you were just waiting for the model to arrive. While you had wanted to spend the weekend touching up your costumes for the convention next week, you also needed the extra money. It had nothing to do with that fact that the model for today was none other than the delightful (and very sexy) Javier Escuella.

Ever since you had started working with this modeling & photography company, you had done a lot of random work that wasn’t really related to your college degree. However, you learned a lot about the profession and discovered that the thing you really loved more than photography itself was the photo-editing.

While you were editing some of your personal photos, you heard the sound of a motorcycle pulling up. Looking over at the source of the sound, you watched as Javier pulled his helmet off his head and shook his hair out. As he took off his bandana and biker jacket, you made a mental note to remember this moment forever, his biceps revealed, his sleeveless shirt wrapped around his torso like a lover.

Then he looked at you and grinned. He had caught you staring. Again.

How many times in the past three months since he started to work with your company had he caught you staring? And how many times had he just grinned at you, knowing he had caught you? 

Too many. Didn't he think you were a creep? And yet he still smiled. 

“Hey you,” Javier said smoothly as he walked over to you, the slight sway to his hips taunting you. He was a natural-born model, his movement graceful as a cat and his charisma amplified by his seductive smile. Taking a seat next to you, the space between you two barely a hair’s breadth apart, he leaned over to look at your screen. “What are you working on?”

You quickly tried to shut the laptop, but just as quickly he stayed your hand. His hand was bigger than yours, encompassing and warm. His fingers, wrapped around yours, gently moved the laptop screen back up, and you couldn’t stop him, so enraptured by his touch.

Apprehensively you watched him as he looked at your latest shots of you in your almost completed costume. You swallowed. Maybe he wouldn’t recognize you? After all, you had your glasses on, a big beanie over your hair, and an oversized sweater. Your photo had so much more makeup on and a wig, perhaps he wouldn’t—

“Oh, I know this Insta account.”

You paled.

“I’m a big fan.”

"I'm editing for a friend–" 

"Don't lie," he said softly. "I can tell it's you. I've known since I started working with you."

You squeaked. 

He turned his blazingly glorious smile onto you, and you felt like the sun was shining straight into your eyes. While you were reeling from his admission, he continued to talk to you.  

"You're going to that big convention next weekend, right?" 

You nodded. 

"Can I come?"

Shrugging as you tried to play it cool despite the slight tremor in your voice, you replied, "I'm not sure if tickets are still available, but I wouldn't stop you."

He leaned in a little closer. "What if I told you I already had a ticket?"

You gulped. "Re-really?" 

Nodding, he stood up, giving you room to breathe. "I may not look like it, but I enjoy comics too."

Noticing that your boss was starting to head over, you quickly said, "please don't tell my boss about this. I don't want her to think I'm slacking or anything."

Javier smiled and winked at you. "Of course. Your secret is safe with me." He leaned down to look at you in the eyes, and you were mesmerized for a moment from the intensity. "Just promise me I get a photo shoot with you at the con."

You nodded, your head moving so fast that your glasses dipped down your nose. 

He laughed as he casually reached down and moved your glasses back up, his fingers brushing against your temples.

"Then it's a date," he said as he walked away to greet your boss. 

Grabbing your laptop and pulling it off the charger, you followed as they went to the shooting location, your heart pounding a million miles a second. 

***

After the photo shoot, Javier traded his phone number with the lovely lady who had been the subject of his heated dreams as of late. He hadn't wanted to scare her; she always seemed so jumpy when he approached. But he always noticed the way she stared at him before he caught her eyes. The look she gave him was pure woman, and he craved more. 

It wasn't just the looks that brought her to his attention. He started following her Instagram account a year ago when he was looking at last year's masquerade winners. Her smile, her energy, and her creativity drew him in. He had found himself liking all of her posts in a day, scrolling endlessly through her archive. 

So when she had shown up at one of his photo shoots three months ago, he had been delighted. But she seemed shy and even denied that she had an Instagram account when he had asked her. He was even more surprised to find that she wasn't a model, but the photographer's intern. 

At that time, he had let it go. She was clearly hiding it, clearly didn't want to draw attention to herself. But every time he got to work with her, he felt frustrated that she hid herself so carefully behind her wide rimmed glasses and oversized hoodies. Her cosplay photos were amazing, her smile brilliant, her makeup impeccable, her costumes were bold and full of color combinations that seduced his vision. 

At the same time, having her hidden away made him feel a bit better about her safety. What kind of wolves would go after her if they knew how gorgeous she was under her baggy clothes? 

As he slowly got to know her, his affection for her had only grown. With each job, he talked with her more and more, and she had opened up to him. While they hadn't traded phone numbers until now, he could say with a certain level of confidence that they were on good terms. Almost friends, really. 

He couldn't wait for next week. He had gotten his Comic-Con ticket months ago and had been preparing on his own. Javier grinned under his helmet. 

She was going to be so surprised to see him. 

***

"Thanks for working today. I'll see you tomorrow."

"No problem, see ya later!" 

Your boss waved as she went to her car and drove off. The two of you had dropped the company van back at the office, so now you had the rest of the day to yourself. 

Getting into your car, you started it up, put your favorite music on… 

And you promptly screamed in both excitement and anxiousness. You had a date with Javier. You. Had a date. With Javier. 

You drove home, got to your apartment, and started working feverishly on the rest of your costume. 

Next weekend had to be perfect. 

***

You finished your make up and looked at yourself in the mirror. You had arrived at the convention center early and started getting ready in the bathroom as other cosplayers had begun to trickle in. For everything else in your life, you were unsure of yourself, constantly second guessing your choices and worrying if you were, in fact, wrong about everything.

But in this space, you felt strong. Confident. Because, despite the occasional hater in your comments, the majority of your feedback was positive. Besides, you were someone else when you put on your outfit. You were Star.Bright.909, a cosplayer with over a thousand followers. Not as many compared to the big name cosplayers, but you were proud of yourself for getting this far.

So when you came out of the restroom looking your best, the few gasps you heard were worth it. As you walked outside towards the photography area that had been set aside for cosplayers, you already had five people asking to take photos of you.

You smiled and posed and thanked everyone who wanted to take a photo. You were gracious and patient, even though you were trying to meet up with some photographers you had spoken with online. When you reached the small plaza, you met up with them and worked for the rest of the morning, posing as the photographers asked and networking with other cosplayers in the area. 

Just as you were about to head off towards the lobby to check out the dealer's hall, a man walking through the crowd caught your attention. Dressed up in a skin tight lycra Spiderman outfit, you could tell immediately that his muscles were real. The way he moved was smooth, graceful, and awfully familiar, despite not seeing his face. 

Wait. 

It couldn't. 

As he came closer to you, he bowed in a gentlemanly fashion and held out his hand. 

"Hola, mi Estrella."

You squeaked. "Javier?" 

"Just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman," he said, a teasing lilt to his voice. "Perhaps we could take a photo together?" 

"Of course," you said, suddenly shy. A professional model wanted to take a photo with you. Granted, you knew Javier, but he was still a pro, while you were an amateur. 

"Do you mind if I put my arm around you?" he asked politely. 

"That’s fine," you said, your face warming. 

He nodded and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close for the photo. You grinned, channeling your happiness into your smile. Holding up the phone for a selfie, Javier took a few shots before taking a look at them to check their quality.

He still hadn't let go of you. 

"Whoops, sorry," he said, finally letting go. 

"It's okay," you quickly said. "I… I didn't mind."

He looked at you, but his mask prevented you from seeing his expression. 

"Are you free now?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm free for the rest of the day." You had worked yesterday and some of today, but you always left the last half-day of any convention for shopping or panels. 

Javier held out his hand and you gladly took it, letting him walk you back to the entrance of the convention center. 

As the two of you walked past one of the hotels that lined the plaza, you saw the laces of one of your boots hit the ground. 

"Hold on," you said as you stepped off the main path to tie it back. 

Then you felt the splash of liquid come down on your head, the smell of alcohol pungent and seeping into your wig.

For a moment you were shocked. Then the overwhelming sense of frustration hit you and all you could do was stay still and will yourself not to cry. Not in front of Javier. 

Warm hands touched your wet shoulders. 

"Sweetie. Come on, let's get you changed. Can I escort you to your hotel room?"

You looked up at him, at his compassionate eyes, and you shook your head. “I drove here this morning.” You had driven here from your apartment, an hour away.

“Oh. I see.” He took your hand and began to lead you down the road, away from the convention center. 

"Where are we going?" 

"My hotel room, if that’s alright. Or would you rather go back to the convention hall?"

“You got a room?” you said in surprise. 

He shrugged. “I have other business in the city tomorrow morning, figured it’d be easier to spend the night.”

“Oh, okay,” you said, unsure of what else to say. 

“So… are you okay coming with me? I won’t do anything, I promise.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” You put your hand on his arm. “I trust you, Javier.”

He nodded and continued to walk with you. He was taking you to his bedroom. No ulterior motives, he just wanted to help you get clean.

But part of you really wished he had some ulterior motives.

***

“I’ll get you some extra clothes from my backpack,” Javier called out to you as he left you to clean up in the bathroom on your own.

You stared in the mirror; your make up was ruined, your wig would need an extreme clean up when you got home, and your costume was stained and reeked of alcohol. As you took off everything and tried to rinse out what you could in the sink, you counted yourself lucky that this had happened at the end of the convention rather than the beginning. At least you had all of your shots and you could maybe sell a few prints to make some of your cash back.

You showered and dried your hair as quickly as you could, not wanting to take up more of Javier’s time. He had left a shirt and shorts in front of the bathroom door for you, and you opened the door a crack to pull them inside, throwing them on. They were a bit loose on you, but that was a welcome relief, compared to the skin tight costume you had on earlier.

“Alright, I’m good,” you said as you exited the bathroom. Javier was lying on the bed, his legs still on the floor. His costume was unzipped to expose his torso, his arms up in the air as he was typing on his phone. Turning his head to you, he gave you a lazy grin before patting the bed next to him. 

“Have a seat, I’m just finishing this post for Insta.”

You sat next to him and took in his body from up close. His abs were perfect; you wanted to run your hands down them to see how they’d feel under your fingers. He was lean, tanned, muscles, everything you lusted after.

“What do you think?”

You quickly looked up at him, as if he hadn’t just caught you staring at his body. He was holding out his phone, a picture of the two of you with your costumes. The caption said, Found my favorite cosplayer today! She graciously took a selfie with me, isn’t she wonderful?

You felt warm from his kind words. “You’re too nice to me,” you mumbled.

Javier laughed softly and sat up. “I like being nice to you.” He posted the photo and put his phone down. Turning towards you, he reached up and stroked your face with the back of his knuckles. “I just… like you.”

You swallowed. The fact that he was saying that now, with you wearing baggy clothes, your make-up gone, just being your unglamorous self, meant so much that you started to tear up.

“Did I say the wrong thing?”

“No,” you said between tears. “I like you too.”

He started to lean in for a kiss before he stopped. “May I?”

“You can do whatever you want to me,” you said without thinking.

A moment passed, his deep brown eyes searching yours. “Anything?” he finally said.

You nodded. Time to own up to your words, to your feelings that you had been denying for so long. “Yes.”

“Well, I’d rather do whatever we want with each other,” he said, smiling gently.

You leaned in and kissed him, surprising him and surprising yourself. Your hands rested on his chest and you gave in, exploring his toned body, his skin underneath your fingers, feeling warm and inviting to your touch. He pulled you into his arms and kissed you back, a passionate inhalation of your very spirit, as if he wanted to merge his soul with yours.

Soon he pressed you down against the mattress and kissed you for a few moments more before he pulled away. “Wait here for a few, I’m going to shower so I don’t smell like sweat and spandex. You deserve better than that.”

You laughed as he kissed your cheek and went to shower. 

Laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, you managed to find your brain again. You, and he, were about to…

Your brain left again and you just grew warm between your legs. You wanted him so much.

In a daze, you didn't notice the sound of the shower turning off. You didn't notice the door open and close. You only noticed when he came back to the bed, wearing just a towel around his waist, smiling down at you. The tendrils of his black hair clung to his cheeks, still damp from the shower, as drops of water slid down his neck to his chest, drawing a line you desperately wanted to trace with your tongue. As your eyes moved lower, you noticed his towel wasn’t exactly hiding his desire for you.

"I've wanted you for so long, querida," he said, his voice like fingertips gliding down your spine as he stepped to the foot of the bed. Taking off your shirt and throwing it aside, he grabbed your breasts and kissed them, laving each nipple with his tongue before pinching and teasing you with his dexterous fingers until you were a writhing mess. You could feel your panties being soaked by your desire, and you shifted your legs, wanting to remove them.

Your movement attracted his attention, and he looked down at you. Reaching down to pull at the waistband of your (his) shorts, he pulled them off, revealing your beige panties.

“Aw, I thought you would have gone commando,” he teased as he tugged your underwear down your legs, his fingers caressing you along the way.

“They weren’t soaked with alcohol,” you mumbled.

“They’re soaked now,” he said with a cocky grin, tossing them aside. Then he placed a hand at each of your knees and spread your legs open, revealing your most intimate body parts to him. Licking his lips, he knelt down and pulled your hips to the edge of the bed. 

The moment Javier’s tongue brushed against your core, you nearly came. He was hungry, so hungry, and ate you out like a man starved. With one hand he held you down, his fingers splayed out on your stomach and occasionally digging into your soft flesh while he slipped one finger inside of you, stretching you out slowly.

“Let me hear what I’m doing to you, baby,” he said before diving back in.

“Y-you’re, making me, feel really, good,” you managed to say between sharp intakes of breath.

“Bien, bien,” he praised, petting your belly. “Come on my tongue, querida, I want to taste your happiness.”

With that command, he slipped another finger inside of you and sucked hard on your center, his eyes on you as he drove your body into a heated frenzy, barely able to hold you down as you keened. Your hips undulated out of your control as the spiral unraveled and you let go, euphoria zipping up and down your body. You cried out wordlessly as you peaked and then fell, landing in a fluffy cloud of afterglow.

“Oh my god, Javier,” you breathed. “That was amazing.”

“Who said we were done?”

You lifted your head up just in time to see his teasing grin as he stood up.

And he dropped his towel.

Your lust went through the roof; you were so ready for round two.

His hands on your knees, he pushed them up to your shoulders.

“Hold your legs open for me.”

You willingly obeyed.

Javier cupped your cheek and leaned down to kiss you, the taste of your release still lingering on his lips. You felt him nudge you open, his length sliding inside of you as the two of you shared a moan, swallowed up by each other’s kiss.

He continued to kiss you as he slowly pressed forward until his hips were flush with yours.

“You feel like heaven,” he said as he leaned back so that he was standing over you, his cock deep inside of you, your hips barely on the edge of the bed. He gripped your waist, his hands warm in contrast to the cool hotel air. Slowly sliding out of you until only the tip of him remained, the only warning you got was the feel of his fingers digging into you before he slammed back into you.

“Oh my god!” you yelped.

“Too much?” he asked, looking a little worried.

“Keep going, please,” you begged. “I want it hard!”

“Oh yes,” he moaned before going all out, letting loose all of his lust for you as he fucked you in a frenzy. He fell upon you, crushing you into the mattress as he wrapped a hand around your neck. “Like this, baby?”

“Yes!” you breathed out, your voice cracking. “More, more!”

Javier’s eyes lit up as he pulled out of you and picked you up effortlessly, tossing you into the center of the bed and rolling you onto your stomach before climbing up onto the bed. You felt his length sliding along the curve of your ass before he lifted your hips up slightly and mounted you from behind, moaning softly.

“You’re perfecto,” he whispered into your ear when he covered you with his body and began to fuck you from behind, his hand wrapping around your neck again. You could feel the brush of his hair along your skin as he rutted into you, his deep sounds of pleasure echoing in your ears.

His long fingers found their way to your clit. One stroke and you flinched, still sensitive from your last climax. He didn’t show you any mercy; the hand around your neck tightened, his legs trapped yours in place, and his fingers found your core once again, stroking you oh so perfectly. The pressure from his touch was just right, the feel of his breath against your ear as he slipped into another language to tell you how much he coveted you.

Javier’s head pressed against your temple. “Give me everything, baby. I want you so much.”

His words, his touch, his absolute possession of your body made your release so much stronger this time around. You cried out his name as pure pleasure rocketed through your bloodstream, a high better than any drug. His hips kept pumping as you spasmed beneath him, wringing out every last gasp and moan from you until you were shaking with the aftershocks.

“Let me make a mess of you,” he growled.

“Yes, please,” you said mindlessly, willing to do whatever he asked. 

He pulled out of you and rolled you onto your back. Straddling your waist, he took your hand and wrapped it around his cock. You stroked him rapidly, watching his eyes burn with ecstasy, his breathing grow heavier as he reached his peak. Reaching for his balls with his other hand, you fondled him gently, looking up at him with a smile.

That flipped a switch, as he reached for your neck again, his other hand wrapping around yours to apply more pressure to his cock as he came, spilling himself all over your breasts. He moaned your name as he finished, looking at you in complete awe.

“Fuck,” he breathed, letting go of your neck and hand as he fell to one side and rolled to face you. “I haven’t come like that in forever.”

Looking at his satisfied face, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was just a one time deal or if this was the start of something, you weren’t sure what.

You must have looked concerned, because he frowned, his brow wrinkled with concern. “What’s on your mind?”

“Um, I… never mind,” you quickly said, deciding not to voice your thoughts.

He leaned in, placed both his hands on your cheeks, and squished your face a little. “Please tell me.”

With his gaze so intensely close to you, you spoke without filtering. “Is this a one time deal? Or can we be… something more?”

He stopped squishing your cheeks, but he kept his hands on your face. Kissing your forehead, then your nose, then your lips, he smiled at you. “I want something more. Do you?”

You nodded enthusiastically.

“So let’s try."

You couldn't help the grin that broke out on your face. 

"That's the smile I fell for," he said, smiling back. As he tried to pull you close, you pushed on his chest. 

"I'm sticky."

Javier just laughed. "Let's take a shower then." He cupped your cheek and kissed you again, his lips lingering on yours before he pulled back to gaze into your eyes. The way he looked at you pulled at your heart, while his next words made you happier than you had ever been. 

"You're the brightest star in my life."

-------------------

End Notes: A bit on the nose, but the lyric is from Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira. Hope you enjoyed this story! One more left in this series. I’m going to wrap it up with the last Arthur x F!Reader!

Also happy birthday to @eddescuella!!! I waited so I could post on your special day! 💖💖💖

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Jewel of the Sea: Chapter 10: . . . Now That I See You

Chapter 9

Main Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01,​​​ @spoopy-turtle,​​​ @lizluvscupcakes,​​ @more-fandon-than-friends​, @i-cant-find-a-good-username, @vindicatedvirgil, @star-crossed-shipper, @justaqueercactus, @gayboopnoodle, @sanderssidesweirdo, @the-sympathetic-villain, @8-writes, @lizzy-lineart, @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun, sirprplsnail

JotS Taglist (Send an ask to be added or removed!): @5-falsehoods-phonated, @vindicatedvirgil, @starlocked01, @viva-la-pluto-dam-you, @pan-immortal-jefferson-starships , @acetatertot, @silvarraven, @logan-positivity, @virgil-positivity, @luella-the-homosexual, @positivitykitty, @akatsuki-no-katira, @ironwoman359, @winterwynd, @lookingforaplacetosleep

Word Count: 1,553

Logan loved their debates, going into the late hours of the night. They never made it to midnight as Virgil always fell asleep before then. Logan assumed it was due to either his wounds needing a lot of sleep to heal properly or his circadian rhythm. Whichever one it was was fine with him as it meant he could spend time along in his room, winding down from the flurry of excitement that always came with the debates. 

He enjoyed the times where Virgil would seek him out for the pre bed debates. Once, he had forgotten that he was wearing glasses. It seemed Virgil’s amnesia had caused him to forget about contacts so he had to explain that he had to forgo wearing his contacts the night before he changed them. Many times, their debates were carried from the library to Virgil’s room as it was closer to the stairs. These were times Virgil was most likely to fall asleep mid debate. Logan just tucked him under his covers and turned the lights off as he left.

Once, when Logan was looking for a quiet place that wasn’t his office, hoping the change in scenery would produce idea flow, he came across Virgil in the alcove he’d found when he was seven. They bantered for a few minutes while Logan set up his things. As he took his mind off his work for a few minutes, he was better able to focus when he turned his attention back to it. 

Soon, he’d dissolved into his usual muttering and hair pulling while dealing with the papers in front of him. He was trying to understand the reports he was getting from his men but many of them contradicted others and Logan had no idea which were the right ones. He hadn’t realized he’d growled until Virgil had closed his book and was looking over his shoulder. “What are you looking at?”

Logan looked up at him from his seat on the floor. “I’m just trying to deal with the reports coming in from the coast guard.”

“About the pirates?” Virgil marked his place in his book before giving his full attention to Logan.

“Yes, about those. I’m just having a hard time getting people to believe the pirates were even there to begin with.” They were no longer at the beach near the cliff. This probably accounted for the conflicting reports. People were being lazy and not investigating, simply making something up instead.

Virgil’s hand in his hair brought him back to the here and now. “You’ll figure it out eventually. How about you tell me what the problem is. Sometimes, just going through it out loud helps.”

So, Logan talked about it to Virgil. He talked about the lazy people he had to deal with, about his personal research, about anything that came to mind as Virgil looked at him like he’d hung the moon and stars.

Sometimes, when it was clear that Logan needed the distraction, Virgil would go on about the books he was reading. He’d tell Logan about the interesting parts of the history books, the amazing amount of creatures he’d read about recently. He was always rewarded with a smile and full attention, as he’d succeeded in taking Logan’s mind off work long enough for him to relax. Logan loved when Virgil would seek him out, somehow knowing when he needed the distraction the most.

There were times when they both needed to get outside for some sun. Those were days filled with bird watching, Virgil making up a narrative to explain why the birds were acting a certain way and giving each of them a unique voice. Logan would have to remember to ask him to read a book to him as his voice was incredibly relaxing. Many times, Roman would come over and lay his head on Logan’s leg, occasionally falling asleep to Virgil’s stories but most times he would beg Logan to come and play with him. Unable to resist, Logan would usually acquiesce. He hadn’t even noticed that a month and a half had passed. 

One day, Logan decided he and Virgil could both use a break from the castle. Realizing that he viewed Virgil as his best friend, he decided to take him to his favorite spot in the world: the cliff he’d been going to when he’d first found Virgil. When they got there, Virgil went to admire the view while Logan unloaded the picnic and set it up. He set up his easel and painting supplies close by, wanting to do that after eating. 

Once everything was set up, he went and sat by Virgil. He took a deep breath of the sea air he could never get enough of before speaking. “It’s a nice view.”

Virgil smiled, nodding. “That it is.”

They sat there for a few more minutes. Looking over at Virgil, he had a hunger in his eyes that Logan had seldom seen in many faces. It wasn’t a hunger for food, but more of a hunger for home, for comfort. There was a sadness mixed with the hunger, as if he deeply missed something. Glancing out at the water, he wondered what Virgil saw when he looked at it. He thought about this for a few seconds before slapping his knees and standing, holding his hands out to help Virgil to his feet. “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” Virgil responded as they walked over and sat on the blanket. Logan brought up the subject of their last debate and that was all the prompting Virgil needed to pick up where he’d left off. Logan admired the fire in his voice and determination in his eyes as he spoke of a subject he’d obviously been researching recently.

Once the meal was over, Virgil helped Logan pack up the trash and found the book Logan had put in the basket for Virgil to read throughout the afternoon. He went back to the edge to sit and read. Logan was planning on painting the sea again as it was an interesting color today but found his eye drawn to the way Virgil was sitting. No regard for the large drop, fully absorbed in his book, he had one leg dangling over the edge and the other pulled up. His fingers gripped the pages, one arm looping around the drawn up leg, while his eyes danced across the page. He had a faraway look in his eye that told Logan he was lost in the story being spun inside his brain. Grabbing his purple paints, Logan started to mix up something that would match the exact colors of Virgil’s plaid shirt. 

While painting, the thought crossed Logan’s mind that he loved Virgil. He didn’t know where the emotion came from but it was there, sitting in his heart like there was a seat made just for it there. He paused, his brush poised above the paint tray as he tried to pinpoint the exact moment the feeling started. Was it when they’d first met and Logan had felt fiercely protective of him? Was it the first time he’d seen that gorgeous dark purple hair dry and known that it was purple and not black? Was it the first time Virgil had laughed, the hours of debating, the hours of venting and problem solving? Was it the first time he’d heard him narrate a story and known he could get lost in that voice? He found that there was no one instance where he’d fallen in love but rather a slow descent he hadn’t noticed until he was at the bottom looking up. Even so, he didn’t regret the descent in the slightest.

He finished his painting, Virgil hunched over a book framed by the sea and sky behind him, and moved to sit next to its subject. Turning, he smiled and pretended his thoughts weren’t roiling like a sea in a storm. He focused on the main reason he’d brought Virgil here in the first place, deciding to sort through the emotions later. 

“You seem to be healing well.” He said as an opening.

Virgil nodded, eyes focused on the book in his lap, hands fiddling with the bookmark Logan had bought for him. “Yeah, I think I’ll be able to leave soon.”

Logan smiled, drawing his gaze back up to him. “Hopefully not too soon. My father and younger brother are coming home. My brother has said he will be bringing a bride back to present to the family. I would like to have you there for that. Would you like to be my plus one?”

Virgil frowned, a line appearing between his eyebrows. “What’s a ‘plus one’?”

“A guest of a guest. I am an invited guest who is allowed to invite another guest.”

“I don’t know what I’d have to wear.”

“I have some of my father’s old suits that might fit you. They’re good quality and you seem to be around the right size for them. If nothing else, we can always commission the royal seamstresses for something. Is that alright with you?” Virgil nodded as they both smiled and enjoyed the sunset before traveling home. Just as on the way there, Virgil’s head was placed between Logan’s shoulder blades. He decided he liked that. 

Chapter 11

[kkulmoon]

SUNSET HEARTBEAT | KTH

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (f)

genre: fantasy au, hybrid au, sci-fi (?), fluff, angst

word count: 5.1k

rating: pg

a/n: ngl i feel like the beginning portion is a bit rusty, by rusty I mean it may feel a bit slow but pls give it a chance 🥺, I struggled to write that 😭. I am also tagging two very lovely people who were excited about this, hopefully you like it uwu @blossomkoo​ @inkedxclouds​. This fic is part of Bangtan Scenery’s collab ‘April Showers Bring May Flowers’, make sure to check out everyone else’s entries!

warnings: implied sex, other than that none, except for heartbreak and slight purple patches here and there cause I was in the mood hehe

beta read by: lovely angie @scvkjin​ and amazing emi @bangtiddies​ 💕 

synopsis: The time had come for the seventh sun to rise. For the seventh and last color in line to have its cycle. As one indigo supernova signified the coming of a purple nebula, you and Taehyung spent the remaining of your last day together creating something of your own. If it comes into fruition can only be known years in the future. A decade after you found someone unlike anyone. Truly one of a kind. Someone with a destiny they couldn’t outrun. It has been 10 years since the birth of a purple sun.

☁︎ masterlist ☁︎

It was in your final year of university, twelve years ago, that you met Taehyung. That same year you decided it was time to give up on the idea of becoming an astronomer. Quite frankly, you were just too dumb. However, it did not mean that you couldn't enjoy it all while living a life where pretending that you truly understood everything was your best bet, your only bet. They all say that interest and dedication trumps natural talent, right? For that same reason you decided to still attend as many astronomy lectures as possible even though you were studying to become an English teacher. You were always quiet and attentive so either the professors didn't notice you or let you be. Either way, what mattered was that you got to be there.

The first time the two of you interacted was a random weekday in April, near finals’ season. You were sitting at the back of the room as usual. The professor had handed out some papers to be passed back. A gold tinted hand with slender fingers, on which well groomed and shiny fingernails were present, reached out to you. You could all but wave away at the paper, trying your best to dismiss it. A pouty and confused expression was what you got as he continued to jab the paper onto your palm. You kept trying to mouth 'it's okay' but he was persistent. Not much of a purple characteristic but surely a sun one, now that you think about it. Finally you settled for a verbal response.

“I don't actually take this class, so really, i'm fine.”

He retreated his hand for a second, “Huh, don't we all wish that was true,” he said as he placed the paper on the small desk in front of you instead. “You've got this! We're almost done, hold in there.” You got a thumbs up before he turned back to focus on the class.

And every week from there on, whenever he got a short moment in class while the professor was writing on the board Taehyung would pester you with motivational notes filled with sayings. One particular somber April morning where you looked more tired than usual he even went as far as offering to help you with the class and your homework. You did your best to decline and yet that same night you got an email in your inbox that told you he obviously hadn't understood.

| Kim Taehyung     Chapter 15: Helpful Resources, (hang on there, you got this!) |

While you didn't take the class and had no official obligations to learn anything, you were still interested in astronomy so you decided to have a look. The links did clear up some questions you had during the lecture. However, you didn't want him to be wasting time helping a lost cause. As much as you loved reading about astronomy and learning about it, you were slow and having him help you was more than unnecessary. The definition of futile work. You decided to send him a screenshot of the official classes you were attending from the university's student portal. You made sure to censor your grades. He truly didn't need to think that you were any dumber, all he needed was proof that you weren't taking the class.

But once again, Taehyung's sun qualities shone through. Where it would have been expected for the person to drop the subject and for the two of you to go back to your habitual behaviour, he thought otherwise. He responded, but this time instead of answers he had questions, none of which you felt like answering so you left him on read. Well, the email version of read. You opened the email, read it, thought about answering it but ultimately left the email thread to die on the read pile.

A week went by. No Taehyung and you felt relieved. At least that's how you think you felt, the sleep deprivation might have been playing tricks on you. As yet another day came, where the indigo sun let its rays shine, Taehyung thought it better for him to act as the sun. You hadn't seen him in class, but it just turned out he changed his usual spot. He tried to catch you before you left the room but your daydreaming self was quick on her feet. He had a quick talk with the professor before he hurried to you.

“Hey!” The sound of sandals echoed against the cement floor. “Hey! You there!" 

You kept on walking, as far as you knew your name wasn’t you there'.  Someone grumbled behind you only to exclaim after a short while. 

“Y/N! Y/N! Hold up, I need to talk to you.” So in that case you were 'you there' and someone was Taehyung. 

You stopped walking and turned around. You couldn’t help but cock your head at him. You had only seen Taehyung from the torso up while in class. His attire surprised you for some reason. Maybe because he was a STEM student and you had expected him to look more uptight. He looked like one of the people from the pot dorm down your hallway.  Everything he wore was oversized except for the big knitted headband he had on now that he was outside. He looked devoid of colour with his muted clothes, but his cross body bag stood out with its patterned rainbow material.

"Yeah, what is it?" The quicker you could get it over with the better. However, Taehyung didn’t seem to agree with you on that aspect. He took his sweet time to fix the misplaced headband as you were left to witness the action. As much as you would have liked to categorise the scene as boring, it would have been a lie. His grey hair strands somehow managed to sparkle in the sun. They didn’t shine the normal way hair shines when light reflects on it. His hair literally sparkled as if it had recognised something familiar within the sun rays. But at the time you just thought you were being delusional or being tricked by the elements of his beauty.

"You didn't answer my email," he asked with curious eyes and an innocent tone. Right, that happened.

"Oh, that... uhm... I just haven't gotten the time to go through my email, things have been a bit hectic," you shot him a sympathetic smile.

Taehyung seemed like a pretty understanding person but he sure wasn’t dumb. You saw the way his tongue shifted to lick his lips as his teeth found their way onto his bottom lip. He trailed his hands on the strap of his bags as a pensive lip bite made adorned his features. Taehyung could have either been nervous or so irked by the bullshit you just spat at him that his body was reacting. Either way you felt bad for your white lie, but maybe not bad enough.

"It has been two weeks though," Taehyung stretches his back to stand straighter, "Also I take a chem class with Hoseok and you're always chatting in the gmail chat so..." 

What do you say to that? You lied and the worst part of it all was that you were caught right in the same moment. Your mouth opened and closed continuously as a hot flush made itself present on your ears and neck. You made note of the fact that Taehyung seems sweet but he actually packed a punch and was definitely ready to confront you on your bullshit. Classic STEM student approach, just face things head on. Thinking back at it, that was yet another instance in which his sun characteristics took the wheel. The sun's rays don't budge for anything or anyone and they certainly don't cave in to make others feel comfortable.

"Uhmm... right. But I am here now, so ask away!" Maybe your fake enthusiasm could make up for your little lie. Taehyung gave you a wondering look as he calculated  the pros and cons of continuing this conversation, You hoped the cons would win. 

“Uhmm, alright, fair enough,” He shrugged and the pros must have won because he kept talking. “Why do you go to astronomy lessons if you don’t take the class?”

Why did he want to get into your personal business? You could have very well told him that it was none of his business, turned around and left. But that seemed a tad bit too rude for you and for some weird reason you didn't want him to think of you as any more rude that you had been.

Would you paint yourself as an overly ambitious student that just had a general love of learning or would you tell him the truth? If you were to lie again you were sure he wouldn't manage to uncover this lie.

"I just like astronomy and find the class interesting, on top of that I've got time so like why not?" You felt good about your response, so good you were happy that you had made the choice not to lie to him, again.

"Oh okay, then how come you didn't apply for the program?" Wow, this dude was really trying to uncover all of your flaws during the first real conversation you've had. He should have become a detective instead, his focused and analysing eyes made it very hard for you to lie and not feel any residual guilt. He would, without a doubt, catch you if you were to slip up again.

"Uhm... I just felt like education was the right place for me you know." You shook your head with squinted eyes in hopes that he would just get you. Which he obviously didn’t if you had to go off of the way his jaw jutted out to the side. 

"Well, to put it simply, I am not the brightest of students and while actually taking the class would have been a nightmare, just being there and listening and learning at my own slow pace just makes me feel better about my shortcomings."

Taehyung's lips parted slightly. Okay, maybe you didn't have to give such a confession but he had been pushing and you wanted it to just end.

"Ohh, I see." Not the response you expected but how else do you respond to someone who said that they were too dumb to follow their dream. "But still my offer stands, if you need help trying to understand anything, feel free to tap my shoulder in class."

"But you changed seats to sit in the front."

"Nah not really, I was just bitter that you hadn't answered and didn't want to hurt you. From now on you'll see me at my usual spot in front of you."

The squeamish movement that accompanied the words ‘hurt you’ gave rise to a wondering look on your face. Hurt you? Why would he hurt you? Taehyung looked pretty harmless so you decided to not take his weird comment at face value. He most likely meant hurting you in a verbal sense.

The rest of the semester progressed in that same weird manner that characterised your relationship with Taehyung. A constant push and pull that kept being encouraged by your closest friends– Hoseok being the top player in the game. Inevitably, the more time you spent with him the more you warmed up to him. A month down the road the two of you decided to put a label on it. Or it was more so you who needed a verbal confirmation that you had somehow managed to catch someone's interest.

It took you awhile to reset the way you thought. Your wandering mind wasn’t only filled with personal affairs anymore, another individual had found their place in your day to day thoughts. All of a sudden being affectionate wasn't something you had to actively be, it was simply default mode whenever Taehyung crossed your field of vision.

For that reason alone, finals season was filled with movie nights, whispered love confessions, enough takeaways from different cuisines that you felt you were now ready to become a food critic. But the most precious instances of that time was the afternoons where Taehyung did his best to teach you astronomy and you being too lazy to listen despite your interest. You can't help but ask yourself if you would have been more attentive had you known what astronomy actually meant to him.

You had now been with Taehyung for one entire year. One year filled with diametrically opposite feelings. The good, the bad and the ugly. But ultimately all of it was left at the door the moment the two of you decided to reconcile despite the drawbacks. You were happy. The kind of happy that you don't recognise until it's gone. That can only be acknowledged in the midst of incoming fury. You had never in your life wished for the ability to predict the future. To see what happens after sunrise before it is manifested. 

One particular day eleven years ago, you wished that astronomy was fake, that the sun wasn't real and that it never needed to rise or set, to be born or die. You wished the sun didn't exist, knowing very well that that would mean the most important person in your life wouldn't exist. But you could have dealt with that. 

Longing for something you know you could have hurts far more than craving for the unknown. In the latter situation there's at least hope, that if you search hard and long enough you could find that thing you so deeply want. In the former, you know where that thing is, it's in fact right under your nose, or more accurately right over your head, where you can feel it at least a little bit every single day. Except this time you can't have it, no matter how hard you wish for it or how long you choose to wait. The whole scenario was like a twisted marshmallow test. Made to incite cravings with no intention of ever quenching them.

This all started a year following the start of your relationship with Taehyung. At that time you took notice to how hot he would get at the most unexpected of times. A behaviour that was usually reserved for when he was irritated or angry. It wasn’t only him that was hot but he radiated the kind of heat reserved for an extremely sunny summer’s day. 

You overlooked those instances and decided not to pay them too much mind. It could just be you having the extreme hots from him. However on a particular night, you just couldn’t bring yourself to stay in bed with Taehyung. The sheets were drenched and the windows had fogged up. You had to leave and find refuge in your living room sleeping right by a fan. 

The coming morning you woke up to breakfast on the table and right beside it there was a thick pocket sized book. The Book Of Suns. That was the white title that was engraved onto the black cover. Taehyung was nowhere to be found but his belongings were still in your room so you assumed he had gone for his morning walk. 

You had to make a choice between the two. Would you read the book first or you would eat breakfast first? You knew that whatever you were about to find out would most likely curb your appetite. Your hand glided against the rough cover of the book. 

Wouldn't it be better to read it now, just in case something made you extremely sad? That way you could cry before he got back home. Whatever it was that you were about to find out was very important to him, important enough that he wanted you to form your own opinion of it in peace. He wanted in no way for his presence to taint your reaction towards the truth that he had been hiding. Or as he thought protecting you from.

You sat down by the table, knees to your chest as you brought the book onto your hands. 'The Book Of Suns' was, as you realised after reading it, just that, a book about suns, in particular Taehyung’s sun lineage. It was a story about your world’s suns, the rainbow sun family. A fact unknown to you before that very moment. You were surprised by your behaviour, you weren’t exactly known for having calm reactions. It must have been Taehyung’s scent on the sweater you wore. It tickled your nose and calmed your senses. The book served as a track record for the next person in line to become the sun. It had seven chapters. Beside each chapter title in the contents page there were small vertical lines. The first six suns had five lines while the last had four. Taehyung must be purple sun. You read silently or more so you attempted to read silently, the deep breaths you were taking in effort to digest everything couldn't be contained.

After a continuous hour of reading you got to what was perhaps the most interesting chapter. Where do the dead suns go? And most importantly what do the suns that have yet to be born stay? You were cautious about continuing your reading. What if you found out that Taehyung was in fact just the ghost of someone that didn't actually exist? Or worse what if Taehyung would cease to exist? 

Fear curbed your initiative to let your eyes continue their dance on the page. But fear also did its job in fixating your attention on the slightly faded black letters present on the off-white pages. Fear of the unknown is always worse than that of the known.

Deep in the forest, there was the garden of suns. Every time a sun died and resurrected as a human, their statue appeared in the garden, where their sun soul was kept, only to vanish on the day of their sun birth. In the middle of the pages there was a picture, at the back of it you could read Taehyung’s harsh handwriting ‘The garden of suns -15/07/39’. He had been there four days ago.

The statues of the first five suns were covered with vibrant collared moss equivalent of their sun pigment. The sixth and seventh sun’s statues were only slightly visible in the photograph. They seemed to be in an intermediary phase. Not quite gone, yet not quite there. It was hard to figure out whether they were emerging or vanishing. That’s until you remembered the previous week’s news report. A supernova was on its way and scientists believed it would most likely occur near the end of next year. 

The indigo sun is near its death, and a purple sun is nearing its ascent. 

Taehyung’s statue was the one vanishing. His sun soul was ready to find its owner and ascend to its rightful place amongst the other stars. Just as you were about to continue reading, ready to delve into how this whole sun birth situation went about, the sound of metal clashing against metal resounded in the dead silence. Clinging keys and heavy steps entered the apartment. 

No 'hello' or 'glad to see you're finally awake'. But could you blame him? It would have been weird to act as if it was like any other of your usual mornings. You wished you had mustered up the strength to get off the chair and go greet him at the entrance. In your mind you did that but in reality you stayed rooted right where you were, back squeezed into the corner between the table and chair.

Taehyung walked in to lean against the door frame that lead into the kitchen. He looked exhausted. Dark under eye bags decorated weary eyes. You thought you could hear a tentative squeak come out of his mouth. Maybe you should've said something, because he looked like he was hurting and trying to find the appropriate words to start a conversation he knew would only end with heartache and tears. You thought that talking about the small steps he made outside was a good way to segue into talking about the biggest step he would take in his life. One that he could unfortunately not walk back on. 

"How was your walk?" You managed to ask before Taehyung walked past the kitchen and into the bedroom. He stopped midway, standing in the living room, where sun rays illuminated his surroundings. You couldn't help but think that it was very fitting for him to become a sun. The rays may have been bright and hot but he was the only one able to make you feel as hot as the sun and make your smile shine brighter than the biggest star. He was already a sun. Your sun. Why did he need to leave and become everyone's sun as well?

"Pretty good, helped me wake up," he said and sat down on the bean bag present beside him. You put the book down on the dining table just to look back at him from your seat. You were just there, in the moment, sitting down and doing your best to have an internal conversation. Both of you knew that words would hurt too much. And they surely couldn't bear the complete weight of what your current predicament meant neither could they have illustrated the joint pain that was shared between two beating hearts.

Your conversation might have been dead but the emotion was very much alive. You stood up from your seat, Taehyung's knitted sweater fell back down to caress your thighs. The walk to the beanbag felt like an eternity, not because it was but because you made it so. You had felt his sour and vigilant mood and you knew that being playful at that moment was your best bet. You tiptoed back and forth all the way to the beanbag as the sweater shifted here and there to reveal skin that was highlighted blue by the sun.

He was upset but he couldn't manage to keep his mouth set. His lips would stretch and unstretch as small playful wiggles played at the tip of his mouth. Finally you had found your way to the bean bag. You stood tall as your body cast a shadow over his. You placed a foot on the bean bag as the material sunk under your weight and you found your place on his lap. 

Right there, that's the kind of pat in the back that Taehyung gave you as his arms enveloped your slouching form. You snuggled your head deep into the crook of his neck and inhaled all the way in. If he was really gonna be leaving you, you needed to make sure you could imprint the scent and feel of his flesh right onto yours.

You sat there, quiet, with synchronised breaths yet fighting thoughts. How in the heck were you supposed to manage this? Him just being gone? Sure, you had a year left before it was officially time, but a year is far from a lifetime, what he had promised you.

"You are sure you don't want to talk about it?" Long hand strokes continue to comfort your back. You move your buried head side to side, groaning in response. Alright is all he said. Things were far from alright.

While on that morning you decided not to talk further on the topic, the coming months were filled with explorative trips to the Garden of Suns, where you would spend hours listening to Taehyung tell you about the stories of him and his sun brothers. He talked about being particularly close to the blue sun.

"It's just because he literally has no filter," he said gazing longingly at the statue covered with flashy blue moss.

"Is that like, dangerous?"

"Well yeah for you, but I am a sun remember." He turned around on the grass to face your way.

"And that's probably why I orbit around you." The huge grin that found its ways to your face was uncontrollable and contagious as Taehyung couldn’t help but snicker at your corny joke.

Just like that, your months together flew by until it was finally d-day. You hoped that waking up wouldn't be a necessity but Taehyung refused to let you sleep through it. He refused to let you think that it was all a dream. Getting yourself off the bed and into the shower felt like an endless task. One that he was patient enough to help you with. In hindsight you feel bad about having put him through that on such a significant day. He was, most likely, having a harder time dealing with his destiny than you were. That day was one to remember, the most vivid of them all, the most cherished of them all yet the most sad of them all.

All of that happened in the past and you were currently in an unsure present. The indigo sun had faced its fate, to be extinguished in an equally coloured supernova that would give rise to the last one in line, a purple sun. One day they would all be back to the complete cycle. A day where you wouldn't be present.

It has been ten years since Taehyung became a sun. You could talk to him, well, not really but you could see him and most importantly feel him. It had been a decade since you asked him to leave you something to remember him by, a part of him, a living one. On the night of Taehyung’s sun birth he decided to take you up on the offer. Cuddled up, in each other’s arms that’s how the day progressed. While usually persistent yet gentle, that night Taehyung felt it was appropriate and maybe in fact vital for him let his sun like ferocity be expressed. How else could you have understood the intensity of his feelings, a muddy mix of grief and love. The remains of that one last heated night were left for you to admire and cherish.

You thought you would manage to stay up the entire night to witness the purple sun birth but Taehyung’s warmth, forehead kisses and soft singing lulled you to sleep before you could realise it. 

Nothing was felt. No heat, no cold. Nothing was seen. No light, no spark. Taehyung was gone into the void in the same effortless way he entered your life. You’ve now been waiting over a decade to know if the fruits of that night would come into fruition. Conception can only happen when eclipses take place. Eclipses happen every 126 months. It has been 10 years. Half a year is left.

That half year could not have passed at a slower pace. It was a Thursday, yet another tiring day at school. You loved kids but you were drained of energy. You couldn't wait for time to pass by so that you could leave. It was Thursday, which meant you could watch the sunset to its complete  end without being bothered. It was also Thursday, the day after you got your first ultrasound. Taehyung may have not been there but that didn't mean you couldn't share the remaining of your waking hours with him, whenever you thought it was possible. You looked out of the window from your classroom to see purple hues in the sky as the sun said goodbye to leave place to another night.

The clouds thought otherwise, for some reason they always felt the need to be there to cloud his presence. What right did they have to cover up his tint? If it weren’t for them you would have been able to bask in his purple light, let it colour you bare as your feelings went from blank to purple butterflies that made you lose sight as tears formed in your eyes.

So you did what any sensible person still in love would have done. As soon as the clock struck 4 pm you ran to catch the train that would take you from skyscraper views to wide flower fields. It took the train two hours. You did your best to enjoy the way he set along the ride. Once you arrived you were left with two entire hours to enjoy the last of him and say goodbye to Taehyung and hello to the darkness.

During that time you reached into Taehyung's patterned cross body bag. You truly hated it but it was his so you kept it. You pulled out the ultrasound picture and raised it to the little part of sun that was still left. You didn't actually think that he would, through some weird magical way, actually be able to see it. It was more so something to calm your conscience. But most importantly, it presented you with the opportunity to capture an unusual family picture. It was you, the ultrasound, your baby bump and the purple sunset all in one picture. One that had found its rightful place on your bedside table.

Years unmasked themselves to reveal the growth of your child. One that grew to inherit the intensity of her father. Every now and then you made sure to let her know about him. As young as she was she couldn't truly understand it all, but as a child your love story was something that was within imaginable grounds. So you took advantage of that and taught her all you could about him. Maybe if you started early she could manage to develop past your less refined genes with regards to learning.

You took your time to tell her all that she wished to know and all that you wished to share. Sugarcoating to the maximum, cause that’s what Taehyung would do, but still making sure to keep a coherent timeline. One specific day you are unable to answer her question.

"Wh–why did dad break the promish?"

You had to fight long and hard with your tear ducts. Never had you cried in front her and you didn't intend to do it anytime soon.

In fact in one way or the other, Taehyung hadn't lied about keeping his promise. He had omitted some important specifics but he hadn't completely been untruthful. He said a lifetime and he would give you a lifetime. It just happened to be one where he wasn't always there, present by your side. 

However he would always get up to see you rise, and always say goodbye as he sets down to give place for lonely nights. And on all of those goodbyes unlike the one where he left you for the first and last time, you could swear that in bed with your child pressed to your chest, you could feel and hear his sunset heartbeat as clear and strong as the rays of a certain purple sun, your only one. Sun rays filled with his most cherished truth: 

‘I will turn purple when i miss you and to say i love you’.

Posted: May 28, 2020

[crackcrocs]

DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #3

3. Transformation Central

the entities of my personalities would like to come together in one voice that speaks through me, we or I call this collection of words from the mustiest corners of my brain to this note page to voice something that might come close to what I feel underneath the skin I wear. In all my unorganised words- I might even go as far as to call this a poem, titled:

‘TRANSFORMATION CENTRAL’

sub characters in my head would appreciate if this could be visualised & understood through as deep a lens as humanly possible. even I confuse myself so if you can decode or relate to any of this, wonderful. If not, I’m locked in my own mind, swallowed the keys to my soul.

SIMILARITIES & INTERCONNECTEDNESS BETWEEN HUMAN & PLANT CONSCIOUSNESS EXIST! if you look closely at my nose freckles you’ll see the resemblance of the constellations above. if you look at the human veins & the layout of a tree, this is further proof.

{VISUALS THROUGH A SEPIA WINDOW STARING @ THE AUTUMN LEAFS; IMAGINING THE SEEDS UNDERNEATH, THROUGH NUMB ROOT VESSELS THAT PERMEATE THROUGH EVERY MEMBRANE OF MY EXTERNAL TO INTERNAL ENVIRONMENT}

~FEATURING THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF DEPRESSION & PERFECTIONISM.

here goes:

What is this part of my mind ?

If you want; delve inside-

I may look sweet like Alice,

but underneath it all

I deteste looking in the mirror

-cos I see the mad hatter.

my inner child needs a platter-

full of care not distortion & abuse pls.

less fibbin would’ve been a breeze.

now following the dead fish in the stream!

HOW on EARTH do I fit with the cod & the Haddock?

I’m the rainbow fish- beat & battered.

dim my own light cos I’m too afraid to shine.

alone.

thieves tried to steal my shiny scales.

I sat and watched them grow.

In the sea realm they were mean gargantuan selfish whales, with poisonous shark fangs & alligator tails. scorpion hands. (gremlins)

and still they make me feel like the alien-

I cant take it.

Make it make sense ?

I can’t.

controller in my hand-

Off balance stance.  

anxiously I move round like a wobbly jelly.

where’s the button to balance my chi & shut out the ego ?

the teLLIE telling lies to our vision!

change the channel aura terracotta orange- daily dosage of vitamin D & C.

catch me sun gazing by the sea

head buzzin like a bee.

speaking from a dusty box

stuck on top of a forbidden shelf

cos I dunno how else.

I’m tryna delve deep but forgot how to dive

How can i visualise? scenery foggy-

the establishment man with the glue gun got me xD

inner monk burning but at peace

Cos I refuse to believe

If the only way is the American dream

Interconnected; like the frog in science -let’s dissect it!

down to every floating atom spirit neighbouring your door

subcategories & divisions, it’s more!

than the rich and the poor -prism that’s been built

do we all feel like a performance monkey on stilts?

will my data be extracted & used to mould a robots personality some day?

well obviously not.

does the price of our lives all amount down to slave ways?

LABOUR YAY!

but morals & values it seems we’ve forgot.

sO If i don’t speak its cos I’m lost.

or maybe i’m enlightened-

Standing at the edge of the porch;

watching TRYING to understand how the flowers grow.

questioning eVERYTHING man made!

I’ve stepped out of the perfect picture frame

I can see the coal pollute the sky

I need to hop on the train-

but I’m comfortable

Sunset to sunrise statue standing still.

what’s the ingredients to life’s yucky pie?

I’ve exceeded mental lotteries.

Sanity n universal peace would be a trophy.

TIL then I’ll be crafting & shaping a solid pottery reality,

with a few pence, gum, and a bandana of belongings tied to stick.

thinking one day I’ll be laying the bricks

& building a kingdom of bliss.

guess for now I’ll use the intricate delicate materials in my tool box- that’s all I’ve got.

might have a long way- maybe worth a shot.

I observe, cruisin in the sky.

dunno why..

I jus look @ the hills.

Only time & history reveals.

no thanks mr men-

I don’t want your prescription pills.

there’s enough propaganda as it is.

I won’t jump on the merry go round-

til my core trusts & envisions we’ll actually feel safe!

I don’t want to take part in this faux fur, sweet nothings & a jack in a box punching blur, so called future.

oh and genuinely thanks quarantine-for once again, I can hear bird sounds!

guess this is me tryna speak out loud!!!...

it’s not thrilling

system  time killing everything-

mother nature’s oxygen

everything is nauseating

clock ticking, I better start creating.

they should write a book on how to be free when the system set us up to believe that we’re tied to the cut down trees that gives them a currency of greed that they breed.

If blindfolded, I don’t wanna eat what they feed.

Whilst they profit of us -tell us smile and the bandits don’t wanna see us happy.

they’re too busy robbing all our hoods.

In exchange for the silence, they’ve granted us with a 21’st century fashion garment of a slave muzzle! labelled conform.

More delusion to add to the already desensitised norm.

zootonic diseases, welcome covid 19 to your plastic kiddy tea party!- apologies for questioning your motive!

Been handed too many hot plates with a post it note saying HOLD THIS.

we’ll be okay just hush.

Same Shan message told to every generational seed.

If we don’t TRY overpower-

we’ll never succeed!

it’s getting even more scary.

Artificial intelligence.

Societal negligence..

my canvas isn’t clear-dunno am I schizo ?

finger painting, cos it makes more sense.

struggling to blend.

borderline conspiracist pretending to be fine;

moving the goal post, hovering above the race line.

who made the chalk? who set the lanes?

I wanna know it all, maybe¿ far past insane.

I can fit all I need in the palm of my hand,

Maybe even less! cut a finger off not sure it’ll even add stress.

hi from personality Peter, even sober- always away with the fairies.

Pass the pixie dust, I’m in a rush

Found shelter in the comfort of pan physicists timer, no not the one on your phone!

Ring ring, skeptical! is it my demon or my mommy on the phone?

I’m stuck in the airspace of an infinite glass filled with beach particles trying to form myself standing up still attempting not to slip through the hands of my very own discovery.

time is running out & ill go when I go.

I’m sitting inside the fly trap -

stardust, chakras can you feel the sensation colors like a starburst.

deep emotion is a curse.

still entrapped in the sand dune of nothingness-

flipping a domino monopoly of solidified thoughts as I sway with the wind.

I’m the trapped sandbox in the playground & the slipping sand in my own hands.

Inhale chronic but I wanna enter the quiet realm of white noise

-color of a wife beater vest, calmer than the ease in ignorance of a red neck.

sadomasochistic, messes.

but oblivion, seems like less stress.

Unfortunately I can see, with all eyes

empathetic paralysis, gets me vexed.

Punching truth into the core of your chest!

It’s not funny, neither is the one on the receiving end..

My limbs are numb

& im done playing octopus alchemy.

I want minimalism & life can be simple,

Evil entities have made it hard.

Maybe I’ve got stars above my head like an old cartoon character.

But I can’t make it make sense, are they out to get me. worse all of us? Or have I bottled myself tryna re mesh the broken shards,

I feel glued to the floor cos there’s a pretty price to pay if you want more.

I see life through a different lense, maybe born downside up, Benjamin button I came out the back door-

Outside looking in, digesting confusion.

Is to be a product of environment a sin?

rummage through my messy brain.

personalities sardine packed in this tin

I’m the wizard of my mania

Scaring & attracting the black crows-

they’re my friends.

Sometimes still a cowardly lion

Roaring pain & true riddles at the wrenching wicked witch posse of the west.

will my voice ever be loud enough to shed light wit my words and grate the sweet zest

In to the cake i’m baking?

Probably not.

Got more thoughts than the autumn leaves collected by the garden rake. alone.

gathering & storing the pains of yesterday.

sometimes I stay in line

Other times in my head Im on my hands juggling out of time.

but I really don’t mind if I lose or win.

we all have a pace

I jus don’t want the 1% to win the race.

It’s unfair!

Humanity does anyone care ??

Half lady

half fairy

Good  MOOrning-

from my anagrams.

no I’m not a cow.

twister fidget spinner brain in the flesh-

form of expression this time around lyrics.

feel I’m jus a silly rubix

& still mourning

I don’t like dairy

pass the oat milk.

Are you aware the industry are sabotaging our diets?

we want peace!

the powerful elite-

perceive & deceive

the scene they want us to be.

chuck the narcissistic psychopathic pie back in our face-

every time we almost found & addressed the Programme & Control man in the maze.

evil & extroverted- he said that the anarchists have to be the cause of riots.

working isn’t class. I said let’s switch roles- he said pass.

It’s piss! Who’s got the bomb & the guns?

Who got the land? off wit OUR heads 4 fun!

it’s pure scary.

Pharmaceutics handshake.

with the cooked up suppliers, also crooked wack liars.

I’d rather shot a gallon of bloody blubbery infused slaughter house milk

If it meant we didn’t use cocoons for silk.

why not add a drizzle of bleach to the concoction & maybe that’s a reach.

every time I guzzle fakeness, it taste peak.

I want real fruit, what next-

a seedless peach ???

what’s the difference between a weirdo & a freak?

layers & levels to the shit.

Magnifying tapping the window of society, I’ll be puffing green til I get to the land of Oz.

sponge soaked soaking up emotions

Suffocated by deduction of care in life

feel entrapped in this paradigm

what am I thinking ?

got the verbs & a cuppa tea

It’s mixed with torment & desire to be free.

I’d rather be awake than asleep

When I get too comfy I feel weak

Demons they reap

underneath

rip the seems as I bleed

Concrete

Solid

Emotions

Is all you’re getting

It’s all sad scenes in the imagery I’m setting

people need care we seem to be forgetting

why are we in debt wit

a posse of clowns

pay the price so we can get a frown

here’s some seratonin

quit ya moaning

life is all sound

aw yeh¿  if you’re not an over thinker!

product of environment- Sirius flickers

theyve done a ritual like it’s Wicca

now here’s your gold sticker..

for managing to co operate.

In this world fuelled off of evil n hate

waking ups a bloody disgrace

I am not amazed.

Man I love my fam n my friends

Just hate this part of my brain that feels the need to play pretend

sometimes I feel insane

but I’m calm

need to escape so I don’t do harm

Gold lioness in the sky by the sea

with puff the magic dragon

fire out my mouth, fuel helps me breathe

I will shine bright

Promise imma be alright

even tho I’m not sure why

I function like this

I wanna be myself

It’s just hard to find the comfortability

To feel happy and pretty

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Ring around sing about overdose emotions

Sorry dunno how to communicate

Heads in a constant debate

Should I go or should I stay

My head clashes

Burnin the next ciggy as my thoughts become ashes.

[whumpy-tales-and-thoughts]

Horror Movie, Part 3

Leo woke up dazed. His eyelids were heavy and hard to lift, his body felt as if it weighed a ton, and he was again hanging from his arms. He didn’t quite remember what had happened before he lost consciousness. The only thing haunting his subconscious was Marcus, and the scene in his house’s shed. That alone was enough to trigger cold sweat and difficulty in his breathing.

But the latter wasn’t solely from the threat that Marcus posed, no. it was mostly because his mouth was gagged, a thick cloth tied around his head, pressing his tongue down. The surrounding darkness was explained when he realized the cloth over his eyes. He tried to scream, but a loud, muffled moan was all he could manage, the action scratching his throat. Now, he was getting scared. He shifted and tried to move around while pulling his arms towards his torso, but he was more than aware he couldn’t possibly break the chains holding him up. He didn’t stop trying, though. He pulled and kicked and tried for a scream countless times until the adrenaline faded and it left him with a sore body and bloody wrists. The metal cuffs rubbing into the wounds made him wince every once in a while. He was suddenly tired, and so, so very terrified. He let out a breath through his nose.

No, this can’t be happening and if it is, it isn’t as bad as it seems. I mean, it’s Marcus. And Marcus is nice. Marcus likes me. He wouldn’t do any of these things. And if he didn’t if I’m in someone else’s hands, then that makes me feel a bit better, he thought. I won’t be able to handle it if a person I liked this much turned out to be a murderer. He laughed at his thoughts, his trembling dying down. The little farce Leo tried to play at himself so that he could calm down, would have worked better, if memories of before he was drugged didn’t flood his mind out of the blue. The room, the tools, Marcus and his words… a nauseous wave attacked him, but he swallowed it down. And his body began trembling again. No fun thoughts could stop the terror, now.

It would have been better if the culprit was unknown to him. Then, he wouldn’t feel this disgust, this betrayal, this pain. He’d only feel fear. He preferred that, by far. If it was any other murderer, he’d kill him and it would be over. But Marcus had said he’d never let him die. So that meant prolonged torture, prolonged fear. His stomach felt empty, as if there was a never-ending pit there and not an organ. He was positive his heart would jump out of his chest any minute now.

A sharp sound, the one of metal scraping wood made his ears hurt, and he closed his eyes behind the blindfold. And then, footsteps. It could only be one person, and Leo didn’t want him to come any closer. He didn’t want Marcus to touch him, to lay eyes on him. To breathe in the same space as him.

“Hey babe”, his voice, stern but melodic, would have been music to his ears otherwise, but not anymore. Now, it only brought him chills -in a bad way. “Oh, right. You can’t talk. Let’s fix that”.

Leo felt his Marcus’ arms stretch behind his head, touching his hair in the process of untying the cloth covering his eyes as well as his mouth. His tongue was dry, the light of the room blinded him, and he straight up didn’t want to open his eyes. He didn’t want to feel any more afraid.

“There, that’s better”, Marcus smiled, caressing Leo’s cheek. “Open your eyes, love”.

Fearing the consequences, he forced his eyes open.

Around him was a pretty room, decorated with pretty, velvet white curtains, a crystal chandelier and scenery paintings. A big, double bed with fluffy pastel colored covers and blankets stood in a corner of the room. The walls were carefully painted in a dark red color -but that’s where the beauty stopped. The door was metal and rusty, and one wall, the one furthest away from the bed, the one he was leaning on, was covered in chains. Chains that bound his hands, cuffs that could bind him to the floor, metal clips that hung from the ceiling. The closet with the glass doors hid multiple terrifying objects, and a collection of knives.

Leo felt bile climbing up his throat. He turned his eyes away, to the floor.

“Isn’t it pretty, Leo? This is one of my family’s villas. I had this room made just for you. I’ve been preparing it since we first met. I just knew you were the one”.

“This is sick”, Leo commented, his voice trembling. “Why did you do this we could… we could just be a normal couple, but this…” he couldn’t finish his sentence, his eyes filled with tears. He was biting the inside of his cheek.

“No, see, that’s where you’re wrong. If I don’t do this, then you’ll leave. And that’s the one thing I don’t want. I love you, Leo. I mean it”.  He took Leo’s chin in his hand, softly kissing his lips, as he’d done on the end of their first date. Leo had felt his heart flutter out of his chest with excitement that night, but the kiss this time made his heart sink.

“If you loved me, you’d let me go. All those quotes on the internet say that,” he laughed.

“Oh sweetie, you’ll soon find out that’s nothing but lies”. With that, Marcus turned his back on him. “I’m going to make something for you to eat, you’ve had a long couple of days.”