#trying to manage my expectations rn because idk if it's where it's going but imagine. IMAGINE

[normal-thoughts-official]

next chapter's summary makes me think this is unlikely but i hope mal loses his shit next chapter. he was already on the edge of losing his shit all day today (trying to kill valax, the talks about his fear of fucking up, even if u don't romance him and don't take the diamond scenes) and it draws my attention that the last panel was not MC being swept by the tide but mal's reaction to it (again, regardless of whether or not you romance him)

it's pretty clear to me that mal is fucking terrified of losing MC (or any of his friends) again and he's already carrying survivor's guilt the size of god, made worse by the fact that he's blaming himself for shadow nia. so to (possibly) lose MC again when he was right next to them? i really think it might cause a full breakdown, possibly of the crying variety but, from everything we've seen, most likely of the desperately violent, willing to do anything variety. i wanna see him jump right into the tide and almost get himself killed again. i wanna see him tear the shadow realm apart until he finally founds MC again (since the summary implies MC gets lost from the rest of the group). i wanna see him find MC and immediately try to fucking kill valax

and all I'm saying is: if there was ever a time for a shadow!mal reveal.....

[ijhyo]

NEWS FLASH! — teaser

in the months he’s been running through seoul stopping crime as the masked superhero sonic, beomgyu’s managed to keep his identity hidden. that is, until, you ask him to secure an interview with the speedster for the school newspaper. what is meant to be a once off deal results in beomgyu having to spend more time around you, both in the suit and out, as a new threat emerges threatening your safety and the city’s.

PAIRING. superhero choi beomgyu x fem reader

GENRE. superhero au ; college au ; secret identity ; fluff ; slight angst ; reluctant friends to lovers

WARNINGS. swearing ; kidnapping ; injuries ; nsfw jokes reader hates sunghoon so be warned ; action scenes ; mention of panic attacks but no one has one

WORD COUNT. est <20k

FEATURING. yeonjun (txt), sunghoon (enhypen), yeji + yuna (itzy), sumin (stayc)

A/N. what's up my people! i told you i would have another beomgyu fic for yall didn’t i? this is wayyy overdue (was supposed to be for a collab event but um. anyways! the fic is more than half finished rn so let's all cross our fingers that i'll be donw before may. speaking of!! ty ty mayjay @tyunni for the header 🫶🏾 check this out too idk lol. okay, okay im done byeeee

TAGLIST. @pr0dbeomgyu @xiaoting999 @yyx2 @soobin-choi @4junmain @tsupuffs @yjwfav @mykalon @junityy @iyeonjuni @fairybinie @fallingforhoon @hanlvkes @soobisms (send an ask to be added)

In case it wasn’t clear, Universe, when Beomgyu said morning he meant eleven o’clock. Earliest. Not ass-crack o’clock and getting woken up by incessant knocking on his door.

He gets up and feels a crick in his neck from falling asleep on the couch. Expecting to see Yuna ready to collect his form that he has not yet filled out, Beomgyu straightens out his shirt, trying to make it look like he didn’t just roll off his couch. He has a total case of bed hair, but that’s hot, right? If he doesn’t draw attention to it, he can pretend it’s on purpose. Girls like messy hair.

With that in mind, Beomgyu opens the door with all the confidence in the world, his winning smile ready on his face, only to fall the moment he sees who is standing outside his room.

“I have a proposition for you.”

You wave a dismissive hand in his face and he swats at it petulantly like it’s a fly. “Please, save the pleasantries. Let me in, yeah?”

“What the fuck, Y/N?”

You, decidedly, were not Yuna. Where Yuna was all soft and shy smiles, here you are, deadpan expression and scowl all over your face.

“What part of that was pleasant to you?” Beomgyu bites out but steps away from the door anyway.

“You fill out that form yet?” you ask, looking around his room. If you were any other person, he might feel a little self conscious about how messy it is, but, as it stands, he’s just annoyed. What are you even doing here?

“No,” he responds curtly, eyeing said form precariously. He doesn’t understand why you even care, honestly. It’s like your sole purpose in life is to annoy him. “What do you want?”

If you can hear the clear irritation in his voice, you ignore it. “Imagine my surprise when my sweet, innocent little freshman—who I graciously took under my wing, mind you—texts me at ten PM asking about extra yearbook club forms because a ‘super cute guy just dropped by’...only to find out that it’s you.”

Beomgyu’s brain flits between a smug Yuna thinks I’m cute and— “You’re Yuna’s Junior Head?” The last bit was meant for his head but judging from the look you’re giving him, he said it out loud.

You just stare at him blankly, clearly unimpressed. “You should count yourself lucky that I didn’t just throw all the extras away once I found it was for you—” Beomgyu scowls— “but I guess I was feeling charitable. I came over to drop it off last night but you weren’t here.”

Shit. Yuna being in his room while he wasn’t here was manageable. She seemed too nice, too kind, too had basic human decency and wouldn’t go through his shit. You, however? Beomgyu wouldn’t put it past you to leave a dead rat or something under his pillow. He doesn’t say any of this though, in case you didn’t plant a dead rodent somewhere so as to not give you any ideas. He just shrugs noncommittally. “Went out.”

You hum. “Figured. Which is why I was so surprised to see this.” You pull out your phone and turn the screen to him, the gallery app opened up and there on the screen is—

“What the fuck, is that a dick pic?”

“What?” You turn the phone to stare at it, mouth hanging open slightly.

“Oh my god, did you take an unsolicited dick picture of me? What the fuck, Y/N? That’s, like, so uncool, what the fuck?”

“Oh, relax, it’s not yours. You should be so lucky.” Beomgyu has half a mind to strangle you right then and there. You swipe at the screen a few times before huffing out a breath and showing him the screen again. “This is what I was talking about, my god.”

And it’s him. Sonic. In his famous and easily identifiable blue and white suit, the grey embroidered lightning bolt running down his entire spine, body halfway out of his bedroom window, about to start his patrol. Holy shit.

Beomgyu can feel his eyes bulging out of his head. No, no, no, this can’t be happening. He’s been so careful! Sure, sneaking out of his window almost every night wasn’t the smartest idea but he had limited options! And he always made sure that there was no one around on the streets and he was literally as fast as light. He never had to worry about anyone seeing him because he moved faster than the brain could compute. This was never supposed to happen!

You hum, either oblivious to his internal panic or simply not caring, it’s not clear. “Interesting, right?”

“Uh…” Beomgyu says smartly.

Pocketing your phone, you clasp your hands together in front of you. “Now, this is where my proposition comes in.”

He groans dramatically, already preparing himself for the worst. “What do you want?”

“Get me an interview with him. With Sonic.”

“What?” Okay. He did not prepare for that.

“You heard me,” you say, shrugging, as if what you said was a completely normal request. “Otherwise this photo gets posted and the whole school finds out that you are Sonic’s secret bootycall.”

“I’m his what?”

This is insane—You are insane. Beomgyu would have laughed out loud at the absurdity of the situation if you weren’t standing here in front of him, arms crossed across your chest, clearly serious.

He baulks. “No, I am not getting you an interview with Sonic, are you insane?” It isn’t even a serious question because Beomgyu knows the answer to that. You are a citizen of Crazy Town, Population of One.

“Well, why not?”

“Aside from the fact that there is literally nothing I would rather do less, I don’t like you.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes. “I’m not crazy about you either, believe me. But you clearly know him.”

“That’s inconsequential and can’t be proven.”

“I have literal photographic evidence of him leaving your room.”

“Gah!” Beomgyu feels like he’s nine years old again, arguing about one thing or the other with you in class to the annoyance of your teachers. You always had a knack for getting on his nerves and it doesn’t help that the two of you were put in the same class every year for school. Even when his family moved from Daegu to Seoul and he thought that finally he was free from you, you had transferred to the same school as him.

He genuinely thinks that the two of you aren’t able to have a normal conversation without arguing. (It was actually suggested by one of your high school teachers that it might be best if you just join the debate team together. Bad idea. Him and you on the same team? Yeah, right.)

Going to college has been a sort of safe haven from being around you all the time, even if you did, once again, follow him to the same exact school. He’s just glad that the two of you are doing completely different courses and that the campus is big enough so it is almost virtually impossible to run into you. That is, of course, when you are not tracking him down to his room. “What do you even want an interview with him for?”

You look like you want to fight him. He can see your jaw clenching and your eye is twitching a little, a telltale sign that you are reaching your patience with him, and he is prepared to get into it with you when you uncharacteristically let out a frustrated groan and proceed to throw yourself onto his couch.

“Ugh!” you whine, pressing the heel of your hands to your forehead. “The newspaper committee has this stupid, dumb as fuck, running competition for all the junior editors to decide who will be Editor in Chief next year and stupid, dumb as fuck, Park Sunghoon’s stuff keeps getting chosen over mine because ‘No one wants to read about how there is no hope to stop global warming, Y/N. People want to believe they can make a difference. Why don’t you write about plastic straws instead, like Sunghoon?’ and—Ugh!

“Up until now my plan was to just, like, kill Sunghoon so the spot would go to me by default, but now I can interview an actual superhero and no matter how many stupid fucking turtles Sunghoon writes about saving, there is no way he can get a front page over that. So. Get me that interview.”

Beomgyu blinks dumbly, physically recoiling. “Uh. Okay…”

“Okay?” Your eyebrows furrow.

“Not okay okay, just…okay. Like, woah, okay, that’s. A lot.” Beomgyu thinks that this might be the most you’ve ever said to him in one go that did not include you cursing him out or complaining about how annoying he was. It was weird and a little disconcerting. He didn’t like it.

“I know.”

“It’s the most you’ve ever spoken to me in one go.”

Your face twists up at that. “Gross. Don’t make it weird.”

“You’re the one asking for my help, remember.”

“No, no, this is blackmail,” you correct, wagging a finger in his face and he slaps it away.

“You can’t even prove it’s my room.” He knows it’s futile, that he really has no choice but to give in, but just like the sun can’t help shining, he can’t help fighting with you.

“Oh, please, the people at this school are stupid and will believe anything. Plus, now that I’ve seen what the inside of your room looks like, I can just work a little photoshop magic and add things that are recognisable, have your friends comment on how the room looks a little familiar, and boom. My work is done.”

Beomgyu studies your face carefully, looking for any cracks that prove your bluffing, but he knows you and if there was one thing about you, you never bluffed. Everything you said, you meant. Fuck, he can’t let that photo get out. You might believe that he’s not Sonic and that he just knows him, but others might not and it would only be a matter of time before someone makes the connection between him and his superhero persona.

You raise a single eyebrow. Beomgyu sighs loudly, defeated. This, he tries to rationalise, is the lesser of two evils. “God, fine. I’ll get you that interview.”

“Great!” You jump to your feet with a flourish, very clearly satisfied with yourself and Beomgyu’s scowl deepens. You hold a hand out for him to shake and he pointedly ignores it, not that you care. “I’ll text you where he should meet me. Pleasure doing business with you. Also, get that form handed in. And stop seducing my freshman!”

He watches as you leave his dorm and feels like he’s just ran three laps around Seoul (and yes, he’s done that before). Throwing himself onto his couch, he covers his face with a cushion and lets out the most frustrated scream of his life, then abruptly stands up. Walks over to his door. And locks it.

[xyzssss]

also i have another thing, imagine that gojo has a daughter and shes grouped w the first years and she runs away after a fight with her dad (just to get some air) and then there is a special grade curse there and she tries fighting it but she loses and then she runs and either calls ijichi and pretends like nothings wrong and asks if he could send nanami to her location or she knows that nanami lives close to where she is and she shows up at his doorstep all bloodied up from the fight, luckily she didn't lose any limbs because she doesn't know how to use reverse curse technique yet, but she's close with nanami and he's like her sensible uncle (she is exactly like gojo, just a big ball of adhd chaos) shes too stubborn to ask for her dad. idk if this is like a full fic thing, one-shot, headcannon stuff, but if you manage to understand my ramblings interpret it how you want or don't. no pressure at all to write this! don't worry i totally get the new to writing too! rn i'm trying to write a request for headcannons and its kicking my butt. love you <3 sorry if this is a lot

I’m sooooo sorry this took so long I had much going on and forgot about this request :(

Nanami x Fem!Gojo!daughter!reade

Warning: fight scenes, arguing (not really that bad) curses

The sun was setting over Jujutsu High, casting an orange glow across the training grounds where Gojo Satoru and his daughter, Y/n, stood facing each other. Gojo, with his signature blindfold and relaxed demeanor, looked far too calm for the situation. Y/n, on the other hand, was a bundle of energy, her H/c hair bouncing as she shifted from foot to foot, exuding an impatience that mirrored her father’s chaotic nature.

“Dad, you’re being ridiculous! I can handle myself!” Y/n exclaimed, her voice sharp and filled with frustration.

Gojo crossed his arms, his expression turning serious. “It’s not about whether you can handle yourself, Y/n. It’s about understanding the risks involved. Special grade curses are no joke.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, the familiar rush of defiance bubbling within her. “I’m not a little kid anymore! I can fight! Just like you!”

“You’re strong, but strength isn’t everything. You need experience, and running off to fight curses alone isn’t the way to gain it,” Gojo replied, his tone firm yet concerned.

“Maybe I just need some air!” Y/n shouted, suddenly turning away from him, frustration spilling over. Without waiting for a response, she sprinted away from the training yard, the sound of her footsteps echoing behind her.

As she ran through the forest bordering the school, Y/n felt a mix of anger and disappointment. Why couldn’t her dad see how capable she was? She needed to prove herself, to show him that she was strong enough to stand on her own two feet. But more than that, she just wanted some space to breathe, away from the weight of expectations.

The trees whizzed past her as she continued deeper into the woods, her heart racing. It wasn’t long before she stumbled upon a clearing, and her breath caught in her throat. In the center of that clearing stood a special grade curse—a grotesque, towering figure with twisted limbs and a mouth that seemed to stretch impossibly wide, dripping with malevolence.

Panic surged through her, but it was quickly replaced by the familiar thrill of adrenaline. “Okay, Y/n, you can do this,” she whispered to herself, her determination igniting. She hadn’t come this far to back down now.

Channeling her cursed energy, Y/n launched herself at the curse, her heart pounding in her chest. “Get ready to meet your match!” she shouted, a wild grin spreading across her face. She unleashed a flurry of attacks, each one fueled by her chaotic energy and a desire to prove herself.

But the curse was swift and brutal. It retaliated with a force that knocked the wind out of her. Y/n grunted as she stumbled back, but she refused to give up. “Come on! You think that’s all I’ve got?” she yelled, charging in again.

But the more she fought, the more she realized she was outmatched. The curse’s strikes were too powerful, too calculated. It was only a matter of time before Y/n found herself on the ground, panting and bloodied.

With a final desperate attempt, she turned to run, her heart racing as she fled the clearing. The curse let out a terrifying roar behind her, but she didn’t look back. She needed to get away, needed help.

Reaching for her phone, she dialed Ijichi’s number, trying to mask the fear in her voice. “Ijichi, it’s Y/n. Can you send Nanami to my location?” she said, feigning nonchalance.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” Ijichi’s voice was tinged with concern.

“Yeah, just…needed some air. It’s nothing serious. Just send him, please,” she insisted, her heart pounding as she hung up.

The minutes felt like hours as she waited, her body trembling from both fear and adrenaline. She was too stubborn to reach out to her dad; she didn’t want to admit defeat. She could handle this on her own.

Finally, she decided to head toward Nanami’s place, knowing it was close by. As she made her way through the streets, the reality of her injuries began to sink in. Blood dripped from her forehead, and her clothes were torn, but she pushed through, determined to reach him.

When she finally arrived at Nanami’s doorstep, she hesitated. She could feel the pain radiating through her body, but her pride kept her standing. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door, the sound echoing in the quiet evening air.

The door opened, and there stood Nanami, his expression shifting from surprise to alarm as he took in her state. “Y/n!” he exclaimed, stepping aside to let her in. “What happened?”

“Just a little…training accident,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady as she entered his home.

Nanami frowned, guiding her to the couch. “This looks more than just a training accident. Sit down; I’ll get the first aid kit.”

As he disappeared into the other room, Y/n took a moment to collect herself. She was safe now, but the shame of her actions weighed heavily on her. When Nanami returned, he knelt beside her, his expression serious.

“You need to stop pretending everything is fine when it’s not,” he said, gently cleaning her wounds. “You can’t fight every battle alone, Y/n.”

“I know,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just wanted to prove to my dad that I could handle it. I didn’t want to be seen as weak.”

Nanami paused, looking at her with a mix of empathy and concern. “Your father wants you to be strong, but that doesn’t mean you have to face everything by yourself. Strength comes from knowing when to ask for help.”

Y/n nodded, tears brimming in her eyes. “I just… I wanted him to see me as capable. I didn’t want to be just his daughter.”

“You are capable, Y/n. But you’re also human. It’s okay to lean on others,” Nanami replied softly, finishing up with her wounds. “And you’re not just Gojo Satoru’s daughter; you’re Y/n, and that’s enough.”

Feeling a mix of gratitude and frustration, Y/n looked at Nanami. “I’m sorry for bothering you. I didn’t want to come to my dad.”

“You don’t have to apologize for needing help,” he said, his tone firm yet kind. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up, and then we can figure out how to handle that curse together.”

After a brief moment of silence, Y/n chuckled softly, the tension easing. “You really are like my sensible uncle, you know that?”

Nanami raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “I suppose that makes you the chaotic niece.”

“Guilty as charged,” she replied, a grin breaking through her earlier distress.

With Nanami’s help, Y/n cleaned herself up and bandaged her wounds. She felt a sense of relief wash over her as they talked, sharing stories and laughter. It was a welcome distraction from the chaos of her earlier confrontation.

As night fell, Y/n knew she needed to confront her father. The thought of facing Gojo filled her with anxiety, but she couldn’t avoid it forever. With Nanami’s support, she felt a little more ready.

“Thanks for everything, Nanami,” she said, standing up. “I think I need to go talk to my dad now.”

“Good luck. Just remember, it’s okay to be vulnerable with him,” Nanami advised, giving her a reassuring nod.

Taking a deep breath, Y/n left Nanami’s house and made her way back to Jujutsu High. The night air was cool against her skin, contrasting her earlier warmth. As she approached the school, she spotted Gojo standing outside, his figure illuminated by the soft glow of the lights.

“Dad,” she called out, her voice steady despite the knots in her stomach.

Gojo turned, his expression shifting from worry to relief. “Y/n! I was worried about you. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she replied, her heart racing. “I just… I wanted to talk.”

As they stood there under the stars, Y/n felt the weight of everything she wanted to say. “I’m sorry for running away earlier. I just wanted to prove I could handle myself, but I realized that I don’t have to do everything alone.”

Gojo’s expression softened as he stepped closer, concern lacing his features. “You don’t have to prove anything to me, Y/n. I want you to be strong, but I also want you to be safe. It’s okay to ask for help.”

“I know that now,” she admitted, her voice trembling slightly. “I just didn’t want to be seen as weak. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“You could never disappoint me,” Gojo said, his voice warm and reassuring. “You’re my daughter, and I’ll always be proud of you, no matter what.”

Feeling a wave of emotion, Y/n stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry for being stubborn.”

“I’m sorry for not seeing how much you wanted to prove yourself,” Gojo replied, hugging her back. “But we can grow together, okay? You’re not alone in this.”

As they stood there, the warmth of their bond enveloping them, Y/n realized that she didn’t have to fight every battle alone. With Gojo by her side, and with the support of Nanami and her friends, she could face whatever challenges lay ahead.

“Together,” she whispered, pulling back to look at her father.

“Together,” he echoed, a proud smile breaking across his face.

And as the stars twinkled above them, Y/n felt a renewed sense of purpose. She was Gojo Satoru’s daughter, but she was also Y/n—a force of her own, ready to embrace the chaos of life, one battle at a time.

---

My request are open :p

[lindwurmkai]

I used to not understand what people meant when they said they were tired of fandom and stopped participating due to racism or other widespread problems, because to me, "being in a fandom" just meant reading fanfic and looking at fanart and "participating" meant occasionally leaving a comment on a fic or making an original post that got 12 notes.

I perceived fandom as more of an attitude or approach to engaging with media than a community because every time I tried to become part of a specific fandom community, it just ... didn't really work out? Like, nothing came of it. And since I never finished any of my fanfics, I had nothing to contribute and couldn't participate in events. Then the one time I briefly did become part of a community, it promptly ended in disaster.

I used to think, "Well, sure the fanfic is full of microaggressions sometimes but so is original media?" And I missed that a large portion of the negative experiences people were referring to required actually participating in some way.

But the thing is, by now I have had enough negative experiences myself, which slowly added up from the few interactions I did have over time, as well as things I simply witnessed, things that kept showing up on my dash until I unfollowed repeat offenders, and also the sense that no one will ever fucking listen to you except for other people like yourself if you dare to bring up any problems ... that I'm tired. I feel disillusioned. When I get an urge to make friends through fandom again, I think about it for a second and decide it's not even worth trying.

If I ever manage to finish a fic, I will post it but I don't expect that to lead anywhere. So far I haven't been completely discouraged from posting headcanons and such, but quite frankly I suspect it's only a matter of time. That's how you get strangers off-handedly calling a character a ps*chopath in your own damn notes.

Idk where I'm going with this. I guess I just can't imagine how privileged you have to be in order to think of fandom as a safe space, and I'm white so I'm not even getting the worst of it. Lol. Lmao.

I wish I wasn't too exhausted to promote the End OTW Racism initiative beyond occasionally reblogging a post rn because I certainly sympathise.

[anarmorofwords]

I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me

In this version there would be:

Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships

Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die

Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer

The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that

Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia

No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object

Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time

Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at

Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help

Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know

Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic

Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him

Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles

Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time

Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance

Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out

Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things

The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him

The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something

Good tid parents

James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences

Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad

No fetishizing mlm/wlw

Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick

Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse

Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table

Tatiana dies at the end yay

It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have

The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot

hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time

DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀

In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT

Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS

ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so

yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too

yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves

that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!

ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.

could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk

yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character

ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.

ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him

then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)

Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse

Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...

Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?

Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed

Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?

yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them

It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.

I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group

no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss

yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.

Gracetopher bonding over science yes

obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!

ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:

I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this

if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that

...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"

Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU

[beanst0ck]

heyyy, it's me again :) so,, since the requests are open, can i have how noya, tsukki & kageyama (my fav karasuno bois) helping their s/o who's struggling with school and stuff. like they go to her house and shes crying, and when he asks why is she crying she says "idk" bc basically, that's happening to me now, and I need some fluff to have serotonin 😔😔💕 love u!!

school can b like that sometimes 😔

i don’t usually struggle with schoolwork but when i do it’s >:(

Yuu Nishinoya

it’s a normal day. not too cloudy, not to sunny, perfect for a date!

nishinoya thinks back to you, noticing that you seemed a little distracted at school today

he asked you multiple times what was wrong but you always responded with “oh no im fine!“ so he assumed you were just having a bad day :((

so to try and make you feel better, he decides to text you!

short king💕: HEy! be ready in 15 mins!! we’re going out to eat >:))

he found it kind of odd you didn’t see his message, but maybe you were just taking a nap or doing hw!

cut to him rushing over to your house bc our bby is excited!! it’s been awhile since he’s taken you somewhere so now that he has the chance to he’s pumped up!

he calls you multiple times on his phone ready to tell you he’s outside, but you don’t answer

now our bby boy is confused. he’s like?? where are you?? i just wanna go out and eat??

he looks around your house and notices your window is open

somehow, he manages to reach your window and sees you hunched over your table looking at something

he sees that your phone is on your bed charging, so now he understands why you wouldn’t answer!

“(y/nnn)!! let’s go out to eat!“

you turn around so fast

like “wHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO GET INTO MY ROOM??- oh hi noya“

he immediately freezes once he notices your eyes are red and puffy

better believe he’s going to rush over to you and ask what’s wrong, what made you upset, etc.

you have to wait awhile before he calms down so you could explain what was wrong

“today we had a test and i didn’t get the score i thought i’d get... i thought i’d at least get a passing grade but guess not, so im trying to study for the makeup test so i could do better this time :((“

he has a moment of realization and you swear you could literally see a lightbulb go off above his head

he finally understands why you were so upset earlier!!

now that he understands why you were sad he’s gonna do everything in his power to make you feel better

“how long have you been studying for?“

“since i got home..“

“(y/n) that was 3 hours ago...”

finds out you haven’t even taken a break and he’s about to throw hands

he cares about you a lot and wants you to take better care of yourself!!

he saw how hard you were working on trying to get a better grade and knew you needed a break, so now he’s definitely taking you out on that date as a reward for your hard work

“alright, you’re taking a break now! too much studying will break your head!!“

practically drags you out your front door. he didn’t even give you a chance to get ready, y’all left exactly how you were

he takes you out to buy your favorite food because even if you didn’t pass, you tried your best and that’s what matters

he would try his best to study with you, but we all know he isn’t the smartest when it comes to academics,,,

will give you lots and lots of kithes when he sees you finally got the score you wanted as a reward for your hard work :))

Kei Tsukishima

during school tsukki noticed that you were acting a little odd. normally you’re the one to initiate conversations with him, but today you were just quiet

immediately knew something was up, but didn’t say anything because maybe he was looking into things too much

time skip to lunch and tsukishima is looking for you, because he wants to eat his lunch with you!!

imagine his surprise when he sees you studying?

he’s like “what are you doing, are you trying to be a nerd now?“

you jump because you weren’t expecting him to find you so fast??

your plan was to study a bit before you ate your lunch with tsukishima but obviously that wasn’t going to happen today

tsukishima finds it kind of weird that you were studying during school hours because you never do that? but once again he stays quiet because hey maybe you just want to improve your grades or something

the day passes by normally for the both of you, but tsukishima still can’t shake the feeling that something is up with you

so after practice he decides to head over to your place

he parts ways with yamaguchi and begins heading over to your house to see you

he’s lowkey a little excited because he doesn’t come over to visit you much so he had lil butterflies in his stomach

your parents open the door and when they see him they immediately greet him happily and let him in

i headcannon that parents just love tsukishima idk why

tsukishima doesn’t even knock, he just opens the door to your room

when he sees you crying he just stares, extremely confused

when you notice someone’s entered your room you look up and through all the tears you see your boyfriend standing in your doorway, confused af

you quickly wipe the tears from your face, already knowing that hiding your face from him would not work because he definitely just saw you crying

you try and play it off tho

“ah! tsukki! what’re you doing here ahahha-“

he slowly walks over to you and sees your notebook fills with notes along with other worksheets filled with information

he closes your books and pushes away all the loose papers on your desk

right as you’re about to ask him why’d he do that for he immediately hugged you

it was kind of an awkwardly positioned hug tho? you were sitting down on a chair and he was standing so your face was against his stomach

he asks you if you were crying because of school work but did he really need to ask?? he already knew the answer-

he suddenly becomes sweet towards you? like he still teases you but not as much because he knows you’re sad rn :((

offers to tutor you if you really need to help, he’ll use it as an excuse to spend more time with you!

if you get a problem right your reward is his kithes

if his teammates see him tutoring you they’re gonna be like “awe“ because he barely agreed to tutor hinata and kageyama and he couldn’t stand them

they’ll clown him a little bit

speaking of them they’re probably gonna complain about it

“tsukishima you’re so mean! why does (y/n) get tutoring and not us :((“

insert sugamama smacking hinata for his comment

you get girlfriend privileges bc tsukishima is vv soft for you :))

Tobio Kageyama

im sorry but our dumb dumb kageyama probably wouldn’t notice how sad you seemed

hinata probably said something along the lines of “hey did you have a fight with (y/n)? she seems sad :((“

it’s not that he doesn’t care!! trust me he really does he’s just mostly focused on volleyball and doesn’t know how you feel unless you tell him

after hinata says that he starts to focus on you more, trying to see if what hinata said was true

if you DO seem sad, he’s gonna panic because he doesn’t know what to do

if you DONT seem sad bc you’re good at hiding your emotions, then he’s gonna call hinata ‘ bOkE!1!!1 ‘ because how dare he assume something about his gf

regardless of those things tho, he’s gonna start paying attention to you in general. he’s gonna try his best to understand your emotions because he doesn’t wanna upset you more!!

you’re most likely gonna feel his stares him a mile away. ppl are gonna think he hates you but in reality,, he’s just trying to understand your mood

one day while at school he noticed that you didn’t come. took him awhile to realize,, it was actually one of his teammates that said “where’s (y/n)? they aren’t with you?“ and he went into a mini panic mode because they’re right where’d you go?

realized that you weren’t at school and texted you

poor babey seemed lost without you because he spends most of his time with you

emo blueberry💙: you’re not at school? do you feel ok?

when you see his text you start to feel better because you know that he loves you and he’s worried bc you’re not there with him

kageyama begins to look back on his days spent with you

generally you seemed happy with him but there were times where you’d let your smile slip just a little

idk why but i headcannon that when it comes to relationships he’s vv inexperienced and doesn’t know what to do

as much as he’d hate to admit, he asked hinata it if he noticed anything off about you

when hinata tells him that you seemed distracted during breaks kageyama begins to do his journey on trying to find out what’s wrong

he asks his upperclassmen for advice and he actually uses what they say

after class he takes it upon himself to go to all of your classes to pick up any homework you might’ve missed

during practice you’re all he can think about which causes his sets to be a little off

daichi, being the kind dad he is, let’s kageyama leave early to go see you

kageyama enters your home and heads to your room. as he’s about to knock he hears sniffles clearly coming from you and he goes into panic mode

quickly opens your door and you two kind of just stare at each other awkwardly like,,

“uh, hi?“

he doesn’t understand how you could be so chill?? like you’re literally crying yet you’re acting as if you’re not

immediately asks if you’re alright, why you’re crying, etc.

once you tell him it’s because you don’t understand your schoolwork, he nods. he understands how you feel because he himself isn’t as good

he’ll tell you how it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand the material as fast as others because everyone learns at their own pace

he’ll slowly initiate a hug? it might be a little awkward because he doesn’t seem like he knows what he’s doing he really doesn’t but he hopes that it makes you feel better :((

he’ll drag you away from your studies for a bit if you haven’t taken a break and he’ll just cuddle you

AGAIN!! it might be a little awkward but pls he’s trying his best ok :((

if you end up falling asleep he’ll give you a little kith on your forehead :))

haikyuu mlist

requests open

[evolving-dreamer]

Hi there❤ I read you're watching Outlander and I'm so happy this series has new fans! I'm actually doing a rewatch of the first two seasons, my absolute favourites. They're just p e r f e c t. However, rewatching 1x15 and especially 1x16 hurt just as much as it did the first time -maybe more 'cause this time I knew what was going to happen and I focused on every expression, every detail...💔- so, I wanted to know your impressions of those episodes, those scenes, the finale. How did you react? Did you see it coming?

I LOVE THIS ASK, NONNIE

Ok, I'm about to finish season 3, so my head is elsewhere rn. (@bellamyblakru this is safe for you to read, no spoilers here)

First of all, I may get what you're saying, I miss the ol' times when claire and jamie were getting to know each other and they were just living their lives in Scotland and all they had to worry about were the occasional red coats. I really loved their firsts interactions, promises, and the realization that they really wanted to be together.

It all seemed so simple, so lovely. Yet again, that's how every great series start, isn't it? The story has to evolve, obviously, but I miss it.

About season 1 final episodes... nope, I never saw that coming. I have to say that Jamie really is one lucky guy, he always ends up getting away from the prisons they put him in. But it makes me sad that he's spent the better part of his life incarcerated or being tortured or simply as a fugitive.

When Randall had him, I was so, so mad. Because they literally had the chance to kill/incapacitate him when he had Claire imprisoned, but they were all in for the peaceful rescue. And Claire wanted to keep history intact. I say, fuck around and find out. The bitch randall deserved worse. And in this specific world there isn't any kind of "time travel police" and there haven't been real repercusions in the future. It's literally as if the storyline has been written in stone, so you really can't mess things up. It's as if no matter what you do in the past, it's already been taken into consideration in said storyline. So yeah, I wanted them to get rid of randall no matter what.

OHHH and knowing that he ended up in that prison bc he was 'following Claire's song' dude that really was sad. Murtagh's plan worked, but not quite. (Shout out to Murtagh, Rupert, and Angus those cuties).

It impacted me what jamie went through in the prison, and it made me feel even more sad that the rape happened right after Claire found him. It wasn't like 'oh, we found you and you'd been through that already' nope, they literally got his hopes up, he fought for the woman he loved with renewed force (killing a man with a chair??? That requires some encouragement) and then Randall raped him. Also I... didn't expect it to have such an impact on claire and jamie's relationship. The man really was a sadist and managed to affect them like that.

AND even after everything he'd done to Jamie, Claire AND Fergus, claire was still trying to keep the man alive. Idk how they managed to be so civil at first when they saw him in France.

In general, I had some idea of where this series was going, even if I generally avoid spoilers at all costs. It was almost impossible not to see some pictures of claire and jamie together, but older, so when I saw 2x1, I just knew they were eventuallly gonna get back together. AND I knew they were gonna travel to France, but I never expected it to be as long and as impactful as it ended up being.

For jesus h. Roosevelt christ, I thought this series was all about scotland, I never imagined they were gonna travel as much as they have.

BTW, this couple has an amzing knack for finding each other through time and space. It's really impressive and worth mentioning.

I know this is too long, thanks for asking and reading, nonnie, it's just that, as you know, this can be really emotional. My DM is open to keep talking about this!!

[bellesque]

idk if your requests are open still but royal loki concept with a midgardian reader— yeah? maybe? take it wherever you want from there and be creative because your other fics are and just amAZING! i might be late but anywayy— happy birthday, even though it was yesterday!

Midnight’s Mischief (Loki x Reader)

Read on my AO3.

Summary:

You only wanted to feel like a princess for a night.

You didn’t expect to meet an actual prince.

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings/Tags: Fluff, Dancing, Royal Loki, some Cinderella Elements

A/N: Listen you can’t give me so much freedom like this because I feel in my bones this is going to turn into a multichaptered fic and I have a million other wips side-eyeing me rn

Tag List: @shiningloki @imnotrevealingmyname @wolfsmom1 @hanyasnape @lukeyirwy @toozmanykids @rorybutnotgilmore @myraiswack @green-valkyrie (Tag List is currently open! If you’d like to be a part of it, let me know!)

BEING IN A whimsical, fairytale ball has always been high on your list of escapism fantasies.

You wondered if princess parties (like the ones in movies) were actually real when royalty was still a thing. If they got to attend extravagant, lavish balls in venues that seemed to reach the high heavens, with castle corridors illuminated by candlelight and crystal chandeliers. Whether fact or fiction, you’ve never been more excited for a night than you are now.

Just for tonight, you allow the indulgence of looking—and feeling—like royalty.

Your heels clack against the marbled tiles of the venue as you and your friend Leigh navigate your way to the Regency Ballroom. Careful not to trip over your ball gown, you glance at Leigh. Beside you she shimmies, adjusting the top of her gown to fit her boobs better.

“I feel twelve,” she mutters, brazenly cupping her breasts.

“Oh, please. As if you’ve never wanted to be a princess for a night.”

“I mean, yeah, when I was twelve. And I’m saying this with love, but the fact that you’ve got on a fucking crown isn’t exactly helping me feel like an adult here.”

Your cheeks grow warm. “I’m sure I’m not the only one,” you say, a little defensive. “And by the way, it’s a tiara.”

Leigh smirks at you, perfectly painted lips curling at the edges. “Twenty bucks?”

“Fifteen.”

“Bo-ring.”

“Fine.”

She claps her hands, looping her arm with yours. The Regency Ballroom is right ahead. “I hope you know that I agreed to this because you said there’d be some yummy men. Potential knights in shining armor, all that jazz.”

“And I value your honesty,” you say, nodding a thank you to the servers who open the large doors as you approach. “But, for the record—”

“Whoa, the organizers of this thing were not playing.”

It’s true: the place is more than what you imagined from the email invite you received prior. Aside from the grandeur of the venue itself, the entire ambience transports you into what feels like another world entirely. Soft, regal music swells from the mini orchestra that plays on the raised platform, and everyone’s dressed in gowns of all colors and periods and styles.

It makes you a little giddy to see everyone commit to the event to such an extent. You wish this becomes a regular occasion.

“You don’t mind if I ditch you, right? If I, hypothetically, find someone cute?” Leigh grabs a glass of wine from a passing waiter. “Because I saw this guy in a tailcoat on the way inside, and he was kinda giving me looks already, so…”

Leigh is neither best friend nor fair weather friend. She’s in town for a few days, and having been partners in a high school class once, she somehow felt the need to ring you up, pleading for you to take her anywhere because she was dying of boredom.

You mentioned that you had an extra ticket, and she said yes before you could even finish your sentence and tell her it was to a costume ball.

“Hey, no worries,” you beam, plucking the wine glass from her fingers and taking a dainty sip, “by all means, mingle! Meet someone! Get swept off your feet! It’s a party. It’s what I was going to do whether or not you came anyway, so don’t be too guilty.”

“Okay, great!” She kisses you on the cheek. “Because he’s kind of already waiting.” Leigh jerks her head to the buffet table across the room, where a broad-shouldered man stands tentatively, shifting his weight from one foot to another. He’s clearly waiting for someone—that someone specifically being Leigh, if the not so surreptitious glances your way are any indication.

Before she can leave, a lady with a hoop skirt that’s draped more than the large windows of the ballroom comes into your peripheral, something glittering atop her bouffant hair.

You lift your chin at Leigh triumphantly. “Pay up first, baby, you saw that tiara.”

“Fifteen.”

“You said twenty!”

“I changed my mind!” she calls as she lifts the hem of her gown off the floor, retreating. Laughing, Leigh waves and you bring up a hand as the man places a meaty hand on her shoulder blade.

Well. You knew you’d lose her for the night. Just not this quickly.

Still, what you said is true. Leigh’s absence doesn’t dampen your mood. You’re happy standing by the tables at the side, observing people and their different gowns, with a glass of rosé in hand. Couples trickle into and out of the ballroom dance floor; others mingle by the tables like you, occasionally nibbling on the fanciest finger food you could ever imagine. The light reflecting from the gorgeous, majestic chandelier dances over the partygoers, and you revel in the moment, wanting to commit this to memory. Simply existing in it. The minuet transitions into a waltz, and more people and their partners taking to the dance floor with excited grins on their faces.

You would like to take your dress out for a twirl at some point before the night ends. If only a gentleman were to ask.

“That’s a lovely color on you, my lady.”

Speak of the—you turn around, glad you didn’t startle so much to the point of spilling perfectly good wine, to face whoever spoke to you. A subtle smirk plays on the face of a lithe man dressed in what looks to be costume straight out of a period film. Or fantasy period film. It doesn’t really make sense, but somehow he makes it work.

You glance down at your gown: a rich forest green with silver detailing cinched around your waist. “Oh, uh… thanks.” You smile politely.

Only it falters after a couple seconds, because he pins you with an expectant look. “My… lord…?” you try, uncertain.

Satisfaction spreads across his face, confusing you mildly. Did he really wait to be addressed…?

“Would you care to dance?” he asks, taking a step towards you and bending forward. A bow, you realize, as he holds the posture while awaiting your answer.

“O-okay, sure.”

You slip your hand in his outstretched one, his slender fingers clasping around you and leading you gently to the middle of the dance floor. His back is as straight as a board as he guides you towards him, and when you’re a pace away he pulls you closer. His hand settles on the small of your back, yours on his shoulder.

And then you’re waltzing; slowly, tentatively, shyly. Though he takes the lead you can’t follow as well as you should, your bafflement blocking you from waltzing like you do in your daydreams. And as weird as it sounds, he’s distracting you from dancing—even if you’re dancing with him.

He’s good-looking. Strong, cutting features with a regal gait. He stands much taller than you are, his head angled down towards you so his green eyes pierce you with the intensity of the sun at high noon.

He doesn’t break eye contact with you. As much as you try to look away, fixate your attention instead on the couples that sway around you, your gaze always finds his. And he probably hasn’t looked away from you once. There’s no malice in it though—he regards you with somewhat of a silent, amused curiosity.

If it’s awkward to be dancing with a good-looking stranger who seemingly can’t take his eyes off you, it doesn’t help that you’re both painfully silent. You expect him to make polite small talk as he guides your steps—only aside from the lovely orchestra playing and the faint chatter of the attendees around you, all that’s heard is the sound of your breathing.

The music winds down, violins sustaining their last note, and your expectations are shattered once again when instead of this mystery man guiding you into a twirling finish, he spins you into the next dance.

Another waltz.

“Do I scare you, princess?” he asks, raising his chin slightly.

You jump a little at his sudden question. “Um. Maybe a little?”

The man sighs, giving a short chuckle as he shakes his head minutely. The hand on your back releases you as you circle around him, one of your arms outstretched as gracefully as you can manage, before you come back in front of him and rest your hand back on his shoulder.

“Perhaps my reputation does precede me,” he mutters.

You blink, even more confused now. “Sorry?”

“Do you…” He narrows his eyes in near disbelief. “Do you not know who I am?”

“I think I’d remember if you told me your name,” you say with a sheepish laugh. Of course you’d remember. With a face like his and the rich voice to match, meeting him on a night like tonight? You’d remember it forever.

“Ah. Then—forgive me, my lady.” He pulls away from you to bow cordially. “Prince Loki, of Asgard.”

Stunned doesn’t seem to cover the emotion racing through you. No one else seems to mind that you’ve both stopped smack dab in the center for him to bow to you with a flourish of his cape. He looks up at you, expectant, yet again, and so you hastily curtsy and mumble your name.

He rises, taking you once again in his arms and picking up where you left off in perfect rhythm to the music. It’s a little disorienting. Your mind struggles to catch up: so far he’s bowed to you twice, is leading you through a perfect waltz, and is, apparently, a prince.

“And your kingdom, my lady?”

“What?”

“Am I to believe you’re a princess with no people to rule over?” he smirks.

And then somehow, realization dawns on you: he’s an actor. Trying to get you into some kind of fantasy, medieval, whatever character to really sell the idea to yourself that you have actually been whisked away, into a story akin to fiction.

“Okay,” you snort, “since we’re doing this whole made up thing, fine, I’ll humor you. Uh”—you rack your brains, glancing at the chandelier overhead—“Genovia.”

“Genovia,” Prince Loki repeats, as though testing the name on his tongue. It comes out melodic and velvety, making you shiver involuntarily. “Sounds… quaint. Not as dreadful or painfully dull as some of the other kingdoms I’ve heard of tonight. What in the Nine is New Jersey?”

You laugh this time, an actual belly laugh, your head tipping back in mirth at his delivery. You sober up sooner than you’d like when you see he’s still absolutely mystified.

“Well, that’s what it is,” you add helpfully. “Genovia… it… yeah.”

“What are your people famous for?”

Damn. He’s really making you think. “Gosh, um…” You blow out a raspberry. “Horses? Apples? Archery? Oh! Mattress surfing.”

Prince Loki hums thoughtfully. “I’ve never heard of it.”

Either he’s an exceptionally good actor, or he really hasn’t seen The Princess Diaries. Or, a part of you begins to argue, he could actually be who he says he is—

But that wouldn’t make sense.

Could it?

“Well, what about you?” you say quickly, seizing the opportunity to deflect. “What’s uh, what’s Asgard famous for?”

“The Realm Eternal,” Loki says, completely serious. “Warriors of strength, leaders of justice.” He pauses at your lost expression. “Have you not heard of it?”

You have a feeling he has more to say, so you shake your head. Prince Loki spins you around once, before continuing.

“Asgardians are the peacekeepers of the Nine Realms, endowed with strength of all facets to keep the realms from falling. Thwart the possible dangers it can be to itself before it starts, or finish disputes where they arise. We protect. Asgard plays a vital role, if not the most vital of all the realms.”

“And you’re their prince.”

The corners of Loki’s lips curl upwards. “One of them.”

“So you have a brother.”

You’re not sure why you’re still entertaining him at this point. The waltz’s cadence does nothing to separate you from each other, and neither does the lively first note of the polka. Instead Loki’s leading you into a quicker step, bouncing in the most poised manner you’ve ever seen a man dance in.

“Aye,” he says. “Most prefer him to myself.”

“I prefer you,” you blurt out mindlessly, immediately feeling regret in the form of heat crawling up your neck.

Prince Loki’s piercing green eyes light up in surprise. “Not many would,” he murmurs.

“Well, I mean—” you backpedal, “—I don’t—I haven’t met—”

The entrance to the ballroom rattles in its hinges, followed by a booming thud. Heads swivel to the source of the commotion and even the orchestra falters. You are no exception, craning your neck to look behind Loki and at the doors.

He is the only one who seems completely unfazed.

“Perhaps that is for the best. Ready for our big finish, princess?”

Bang! The doors swing open, and strange men in very detailed costumes—metal armor, odd-shaped helmets—charge in, long spears in hand. Your mouth falls open. You’ve never seen anything like them. The attendees gasp collectively, some dancers pulling away from their partners to retreat to the sides of the room.

But Loki places his hands on your hips, lifting you off your feet and into the air, and instructs, “Eyes on me, princess.”

“Wh—” He spins you around, the world around you blurring, and you fix your attention on him so as not to get dizzy. “Prince Loki, I think we should get ou—”

He sets your feet on the ground, a mad intensity in his eyes—and Loki wraps his arms around you and kisses you.

Well. You’ve had multiple daydreams about how tonight would go. This is definitely not one of them.

His arms tighten around your waist, and swarms of butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach. Your feet are on the ground, but with your fingers and toes tingling with every soft movement of his lips against yours, it feels like you’re floating. He’s kissing you. You’re kissing him.

The clanging of armor jolts you apart, but Loki keeps you within arm’s reach. Your heart pounds against your sternum.

“I like it when you say my name,” he murmurs.

“Prince Loki!” one of the strange men shouts. The prince in front of you flinches slightly, and then huffs in amusement.

“Don’t like it when they do.”

“I—what?”

Loki sighs. “I’m afraid I have to bid you good night. And farewell.”

“Wait, who are they?” Question after question presents itself, your mind a jumbled mess and your knees still shaking from that damn kiss. “What do they want?”

“The Einherjar. Ah. Well.” He brushes a thumb over your cheekbone. “What’s life without a little mischief?”

“Your Highness!”

“Where is he?”

He pulls you by the elbows, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek, and whispers in a voice that could melt butter, “Something to remember me by.”

And then he takes off, a cheeky grin splitting his face as he keeps his eyes trained on his pursuers, slinking through the crowd and towards a nondescript door. An exit.

The strange men sift through the partygoers. Some shake their heads in fear, cowering; others shrug. You simply hope they do not approach you. And by some mad stroke of luck, when they’re a few feet away from you—they ignore you entirely.

Loki catches your eye by the small archway, and with a mischievous wink and a heartstopping smile, he disappears with a flash of his green cape.

You exhale, a little shakily, as one armored man shouts instructions and points to the door. They bolt after him, each footfall thunderous. A few seconds tick past, and once the clatter disappears completely the orchestra warms up again.

Back to normal. Just a little. But you—you’re still reeling from what just happened.

Leigh sidles up to you, poking your side.

“So,” she says, “who was the knight in shining armor, and what’d they want with him?”

His kiss, the feel of his mouth against yours, still tingles at your lips, lingering like the warmth of a fire. You stare at the open door, still trying to make sense of what on Earth just happened.

“I… I think I just met a prince.”

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 04.11.20 lb

ok speed-watched the 3rd nov ep and here are the highlights:

mummy and kabir ka freakout about ragini being alive.

someone in a mask (siya??????) knocking already paralysed riddhima out with chloroform when she tries to make a call to kabir.

kabir sneaking into the mansion and riddhima passing on a message to him in the form of a conversation with vansh, during which she challenges V that she'll steal ragini away from him.

kabir looking 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽 hey boy are you a family pack of haldiram's aloo bhujia coz you AN ABSOLUTE SNACCCC. (i think there was a convo between him and mummy ki she has to help riddhima so that riddhima can get him to ragini. but i was too busy staring at his neck/chest coz......... tharak. 😜😜😜)  

vansh digging a grave in his backyard at midnight like the fucking weirdo he is, and riddhima being like smh really, i got horny for THIS dude???????

some cocky talk by vansh next morning about how his mission for revenge is finally gonna come to a head today and how riddhima should be happy coz this means that they can start their new lives together. followed by some truly savage dahi-cheeni eating that grossed me tf out. this show really doing The Most to make this hot dude absolutely repulsive to me.

vansh instructing ishani to keep an eye on riddhima to make sure she doesn't leave the house today.

ok now that you're caught up, onwardsssssssssss!

———————————————————————

*pink panther theme music playing*

mummy distracting ishani from noticing riddhima in the most Boomer way possible; phone mein app download nahi ho raha, mere liye kardo plssssssss.

“teen saal pehle jo kaam humara fail ho gaya tha woh waapas aa raha hai.” 0.0% surprising revelation that they the ones who tried to murder ragini.

mask person has knocked riddhima out YET AGAIN. THE SECOND TIME IN LIKE, 12 HOURS. DUDE. THIS CAN'T BE GOOD FOR HER HEALTH. Y'ALL FUCKING CRAZY.

oh thank god, dadi is finally back. not that inki kuch khaas chalti hai, but at least these three raisinghania hellions will stop constantly giving riddhima mini-comas every 6 hours, on the dot. yes, i'm fully including siya in it, i'm absolutely sure that she's the mask person now. idk why, but i am.

mummy is like oufff isko nikalna tha aur behosh ho gayi aur ab yahaan baithi juice pee rahi hai manhoos.

riddhima like yup, there's definitely another person here other than ishani who's helping vansh. YEAH IT SIYA YOU DUMBASSSSSSSS.

riddhima doing bukhaar waali acting and i'm sure has hacked the thermometer hum hain raahi pyaar ke style to show temp of 103.

a doctor has been called and kabir has been informed ki riddhima is awwal number ki nikkami jisne saara plan fail kiya hua hai.

but behen is super duper determined and convinced that she will beat vansh no matter what. yeah sis. beat him. beat him over the head with a danda.

lmaoooooooooooooo look at these two smirking at each other over their shady shenanigans. the real love story of this show.

“aise important mauke waste karna hi uska talent hai.” i truly live for mummy's verbal evisceration of riddhima.

kabir sure ki this is part of riddhima's plan. get you a man like kabir who has fulllllll confidence in you. not one like vansh who constantly underestimates you. oh, and paralyses you.

ishani is truly Forever Mood.

gaadi ruk gayi. smirky boys not smirking anymore.

snort. someone’s been watching a little too much ipk on hotstar.

riddhima has picked up a trick from the raisinghanias. aur do issko ideas.

“i'm so proud of you riddhima!!!!!!!!”

i love his snarky asssssss so much. 

SHE WAS RUSHING AROUND SAYING TIME NAHI HAI TIME NAHI HAI HAR EK MINUTE KEEMTI HAI RAGINI KO BACHAANE KE LIYE, BUT NOW SHE HAS TIME TO STAND AROUND AND IMAGINE HER TWO BOYTOYS DEBATING ABOUT PYAAR AND FARZ. GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

waise bhi, do hotties ko saath mein imagine karr hi rahi ho toh bhi yeh lameass debate? wouldn't be me. my imagination would have them shirtless and wrestling for my hand in marriage.

BITCH EVERY MAN IS A UNIQUE NIGHTMARE IN HIS OWN WAY; STOP WASTING TIME OVER CHOOSING ONE OF THEM AND JUST GET YOUR ASS MOVINGGGGGGGG

rrahul's angry acting is unbearable.

doctor has to be a dumbass not to ask her why it took her HALF AN HOUR to just give one injection. and what's with the drastic change in eye makeup situation?!?!!?!?! the patient gave you a makeover?????

ishani yeh ghatiya blue lenses hatao toh tumhe dikhe jo mummy ko dikha.

idhar they've literally been standing around doing jack for one hour. in this time, literally 40 autos have passed him and he didn't think to hail even one of them.

EVEN NOW HE'S SCREAMING AT THE CARS TO STOP AND NOT THE EMPTYASSSSSSS AUTOS. ARE YOU ALLOWED TO BE A MAFIA LEADER OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HE IS THAT MADE HIM SO GODDAMN RICH IF YOU'RE THIS FUCKING STOOOOOPID????????

pachchis minute to reach aaaaaaaaaaaaaand...........

yup. this is the choice he makes. wonderful.  

riddhima’s new gig as an uber driver has commenced with an auspicious customer.

RACE SAANSON KI.

RACE CHAAHAT KI.

RACE DHADKAN KI.

MY HEART IS RACING ON!!!!!!!!! (because i am very very unfit and have severe anxiety.)

watch out milind soman, you got competition in the hot-dude-running-for-absolutely-no-good-reason department.

ishani knows bhaabi sus as hell and damn near breaking the door down.

but dadi came and took her away. but not before they peeked in and saw SOMEONE in bed and assumed it's riddhima. raisinghanias really got shit for brains.

meanwhile..........

yeah, this looks like it's going as well as i expected.

he just hurt his leg and then when he stood up the pant leg still spotless white.

if kabir wasn't a murderous psycho who wanted to murder ragini himself his righteous anger seeing her haalat would totally turn me on rn.

LMAO WHAT, YOU WANT HER TO TAKE RAGINI OUT WHILE YOU HANDLE THE NURSE?!?!?! HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HOW IS TINY BIRD LIKE RIDDHIMA SUPPOSED TO SMUGGLE AN UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN HER SIZE OUT???? LET *HER* HANDLE THE NURSE AND YOU CARRY RAGINI OUT, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.

“usse harm mat karna.”

kabir nods yes AND THEN PROMPTLY GOES ON TO SUFFOCATE THE NURSE. MAN, YOU PPL IN THIS SHOW REALLY TAKE UNCONSCIOUSNESS VERYYYYYYYYYYYYY LIGHTLY.

how is ragini's hair so shiny and conditioned and still in the braid after being bedridden for 3 years, when my hair is a fucking chidiya ka ghosla after a half hour nap????

lo, yeh mahashay finally pohunch gaye.

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

oh thank god. idk why i'm so invested in kameena kabir getting away with his shit, but i am. i just like him better.

he knows someone is here and made the nurse unconscious. THEN WHY THE FUCK IS HE YELLLLLLLLLLLING AND LETTING WHOEVER IS TRYING TO GET RAGINI KNOW THAT HE’S HERE AND COMING INTO THE ROOM?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

pls god can this show free rrahul??? he needs to be in a softboy romantic role where he can flash his puppy eyes and sassy smile. this role is just notttttttt a good fit for him. THIS IS LIKE WHEN THEY MADE OMKARA A CRAZYASS JUNGLEEEEEE IN DBO ALLLLLL OVER AGAIN. IT JUST DOESN’T FIT THE ACTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO ISKI KHUSHIIIIIIIII TOH DEKHO. truly, nothing makes me happier than a woman who has fucked a man over and made him miserable. and this one toh particularly deserved it also. i know it’s all gonna turn to shit later coz she’ll have ruined some mission that had a “noble” reason behind it, but for now, i’m happy she managed to get at least a small badla for the paralysis thing.

[thesorrowoflizards]

yall we deserve more fairy tale aus. more maiaphael and/or magnus fairy tale aus

the beautiful princess maia, strong in her own right but so soft and kind and she just wants to help even though she’s not in a great position to do so

brave young hero raphael questing not for the princess’s hand but to help his community, his family, his sister (but he falls in love with her anyway)

“fairy godfather” magnus, a kind wizard who helps them out and indeed helps anyone he can… and perhaps dragon alec

but like the point is—oh my god

oh no

oh no mid post

mid post the idea it hit me

literally while i was in the middle of typing trying to figure out where i was going with this

ive been, metaphorically speaking, shot blank

with the idea

of

maiaphael

shrek au

oh I hate this

does this make maia fiona, raphael shrek, and magnus—DONKEY?! AND ALEC THE DRAGO—ok ok so this is happening now. amazing. i just wanted a soft fairy tale au with princess maia and hero raphael and kindly wizard magnus but now here we are. shrek au. fine. if this is how it’s gonna be, fine

i guess rather than ogre he’s a vampire which is a little more subtle—perhaps instead of becoming a vampire at night she’s a werewolf? so downworlders in general rather than specifically a vampire? not quite loyal to the original story (as she became an ogre rather than just “a fairy tale creature” for a reason) but not bad—although the implication she’d like become a wolf forever isn’t great. I mean I’m sure you can play with that so it’s more like at night she becomes a werewolf—ability to transform into a wolf, eyes flash green sometimes, can do feats of supernatural strength and so on, but like. still. hm

but like ok look the point is maia is in this tower and it’s not that she’s weak, but she can’t fight a dragon on her own and she’s been taught her whole life she was supposed to be saved, get a prince charming, etc. she’s quite well read and also very isolated and probably claustrophobic as fuck now. i’m not sure how to combine her characterization with fiona’s in a way that stays loyal to her character but still makes sense in the au tbh.... [thinking emoji im too lazy to google and paste here]

and like raphael, rather than wanting everyone out of his home, perhaps is specifically trying to help his community and get more structure? obviously magnus wants to help—still can’t believe I’m making him donkey but the dragon thing is too good to pass up, although I’m basically going to completely change his role as donkey because I physically can’t handle making him the comic relief literal ass, but like, he’s had his own issues and also wants to help get the land to set up a home for everyone and help people, so he’s travelling with raphael and is like “smol angery vampire who is willing to slap a dragon to death to save his community and specifically take care of his sister? im adopting him immediately”

perhaps for shenanigans and I have. oh my god this is ridiculous but any shrek au is inherently ridiculous so I’m making this twi malec now. consider this: twi magnus on the road literally just getting the hang of his magic after an encounter with a rogue crazy princess who’s stab-happy and needed some magical help, so it’s waking up and he’s just getting in all these crazy hijinks with raphael where hypothetically he’s powerful enough to just zap them there, zoink out the dragon and win, but he can’t fucking control it so sure he can turn all the knights’ armor pink or sneeze and make it start to rain (which is a LITTLE SCARY) but like, other than randomly floating or random bursts of managing to control it in high pressure situations, it’s like. not that useful. again i can’t be clear enough he isn’t really donkey it’s just an excuse to have him travelling with raphael. i guess simon would be donkey if i were going for serious but then they’d both be in love with maia so--

also, twi magnus and raphael? fun interaction time. especially since I’m still basically doing canon maiaphael and not trying to mess with twi, there, so like. he’s kind of trying to get out of his shell more but he cares deeply about raphael (and. well. everyone) already and he juts wants to help

and then he meets the dragon guarding maia’s tower and is immediately like….. damn……… no not getting distracted by this

but the dragon, twi alec, is just like HEY THERE PRETTY BOY ;D and like. they don’t even have to fight the dragon raphael just. walks past while they make heart eyes at each other and when alec realizes they’re walking away with maia he’s just like “ok whatever but magnus you better come back and visit sweetheart I’m gonna make you the prettiest necklace and I can find you some old books on magic, I’m sure I’ve got some in my hoard somewhere—”

meanwhile on the way back magnus is kind of pining after alec but also getting a stronger handle on his magic

and raphael is getting to know the princess

and maia is getting to know raphael (she was NOT expecting a vampire and a warlock, but they’re both incredibly nice and she was REALLY REALLY BORED in that tower) and just like…. you know,,,,,,, romance begins to bloom mayhaps

now I don’t know how to like really get across that one of their main commonalities is community, because in this scenario maia wouldn’t have a pack—unless we change canon even more and I’m just not going to rn, but put a pin in that

so like, maybe she really does care about her people and she super is a people person, but she hasn’t had many chances to show that because she’s been fucking locked up and that’s kind of messed with her you know

god you know I want to include jordan and camille here but I wouldn’t even know how to—I imagine jordan could be prince charming but he doesn’t come in until later and ehhh

so like raphael (and also magnus) are really helping her with that

and she’s also helping him be less closed off and… angry isn’t quite right, but like. she kind of helps both of them open up tbh. not to erase magnus’s friends but also I love a good magnus and maia friendship? but like she’s not afraid to start conversations or ask them questions or listen to their stories (and they listen to hers which is nice because she’s been talking mostly to walls and stuffed animals for a while now and books are great but it’s not the same)

and like she’s free not to have to act like a perfect delicate princess, but she’s also free to be vulnerable and soft too you know

so like okay also lord farquaad or however you spell it I don’t care is jace. I mean obviously annoying lord tiny penis is jace. duh. (oh my god does this mean alec eats jace--?)

and like idk this is a very scattered concept—I’m not sure these communication kings would really do the main plot of shrek where an overheard misunderstood snippet of conversation leads to such a huge conflict but I mean if he was really just beginning to open up to her and then he thought she thought downworlders were disgusting or whatever (wait no that wouldn’t work because she can’t say vampires but she can’t be saying that to magnus, either—fuck I don’t know like I said it needs reworking to fit) he could be devastated enough to just be like well fuck it

AND LIKE AGAIN. DRAGON ALEC. EATS JACE. amazing. everyones like “raphael is your friend... fucking a dragon” and raphael is like “please never say those words to me again” and alec’s like (in human form, they don’t realize he’s the dragon even tho raphael does) “actually a dragon is fucking raphael’s friend” and raphael is like shut the fuck up right now 

idk I feel like a lot of details make it not work but the overall concept could be fun as hell, probably mostly as a crack au

 god I just wanted a fairy tale au. soft princess maia, young hero raphael, kindly wizard magnus. goin’ on a quest. savin’ people. is that too much to ask for???

my brain says yes.

[zombiequincy]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Hela     AGE: 21       CONTACT: IM

CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc. 

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry) 

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER:  i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?:  i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise ! 

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare 

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !! 

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!! 

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE:   hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?:  angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?:  theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation. 

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  to find a goal worth living for.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people. 

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?:  politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  the twink soul reaper who outted her.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @bazzardburner​ cheers chicken boy !!

Tagging: @hyouketsu​ @blooming5th​ @viciousvizard​ @glacies-tempestatem​ and whoever else wishes to do this!!

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo

im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)” 

like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT 

and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”

and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea 

and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them 

or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class” 

and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up 

and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!! 

and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!

i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thisismyghost-blog]

1st time I told my fam/friends on fb about the sadistic monster who abused me and is facing agg kidnapping and 3agg rape charges

So idk how some of you will react to this but i have to risk people who will hate me or just turn away in order to gain reinforcements. I have been practically in hiding for almost a year after finally giving up on keeping a bold face at my job that I loved with a few people that I really loved due to the pain I didn’t know how to handle of being visibly and deeply scorned by a few people who I had done nothing to but be friendly and awkward to (just due to lack of social experience)I have been protected under the love of my amazing family, my best friend Sayruh, and the incredible loving man who I can’t describe rn who came into my life about five years ago and with who’s path, unfortunately, was diverged during what I’m about to tell you. This isn’t going to be college level essay ish, so bare with me. I’m bleeding and panting out of breathe in the battlefield of life at this moment but I haven’t dropped the sword and I never will. I don’t have to do this alone, as much as I’ve been alone and felt deeply affected by if people think I am worthless, stupid, ugly, a whore or make assumptions about me that hurt them or take me the wrong way.i have hidden myself to protect others and to protect myself but I see now that is utter BULLLSHHIIITTT y’all. I was in a “relationship”with what fits the pattern of a malignant narcissist, possible psychopath for 9 entire soul crushing, brain washing, body mutilating, being made to believe I was bad or crazy, turning against myself months. That’s the time it takes to grow a fully ripened human, and apparently it’s also the time to nearly break an intelligent, loving sister, mother, daughter, friend, woman almost entirely.     This creature who masquerades as an attractive, eloquent, humble, caring, selfless individual has likely been slandering me since the moment he walked into my place of work as he, behind the scenes, carefully put up walls between me and anyone who might later have compassion for the things he had in store for me. That wasn’t terribly hard due to the fact that I was already a very shy person.This Lucifer gaslighted, undermined and abused me while successfully convincing me that he was helping me become a better person and applying his version of “therapy” based on his claimed experience in mental health in another country and coming out of terrible traumas all by himself. This person took the self doubt i already had, filled it with poison, and offered it through a needle promising the antidote. This person used my compassion and love for others to convince me to let him do horrible things to me as a stress relief or way of dealing with their past trauma in order to help them, to help them not do self destructive things and be able to go out and help others in Grand ways that he constantly spoke of.I have been hiding because I have seen that human nature tends to immediately start looking for ways to blame or dehumanize people that are in horrible situations like this. I have been hiding because I could feel the seering looks of disgust, feel the betrayel from those I had admired and even looked up to that had already taken place and wished not to extend an opportunity for others. I realize now that I have been ashamed of being vulnerable to someone else’s lack of humanity and feeling as though that truly debased me or may as well if it succeeded in debasing me from human status in the eyes of most people onlooking, so why give them a chance to onlook?I have no choice now because today I was shown my choice by the assistant district attorney.  It was my hope to protect others from this monster. It was my hope because I have seen what these creatures who walk among us, looking like people, expressing emotion on their face like people, and I have seen this creature twist otherwise upstanding, moderately intelligent individuals into hating a person in order to discredit them and also back them further into a corner, convince them they are nothing, watch them suffer and feed on their tears like a twisted vampire. You think you can spot a monster? Maybe you would have better luck. I think we all think we do, how can you not believe what your mind is telling you when you look at what looks like a human being but is a monster no one warned you about, who literally takes pleasure in slowly driving you insane and takes bites out of your flesh like a wolf and yelling at you for bleeding. I am not perfect, no one is. I make mistakes, that’s human. I take the wrong path sometimes, also human. Do I need to say that in order for you not to start asking a million questions until you get to the part where your brain can let out a sigh of relief and go “ooohh I was worried this world was that horrific for a minute but clearly this bitch is an idiot or a sinner who deserved whatever she’s going on about.”?I want to stop and give credit where credit is due.I am tempted to name names but I haven’t. There are people who I worked next to everyday and only had affection for who completely turned their back on me when he was arrested. I didn’t call police, my doctor did. I hate attention, I have no vendettas.  I have to  get out of this corner letting him and his minions scare/shame me into silence and projecting their ill motives onto me. I know it makes no sense. I only know that I am sure I experienced what I imagine thousands of murdered women experienced in their final moments. I feel that he would enjoyed watching my final moments and holding them in his hands like a god. I only know that an amazing doctor who I trusted and went to for advice about how to not get murdered or even possibly salvage my life from without police help because I didn’t believe they would help me. I believed him when he told me his ex’s called police and he talked them away, I believed him when he told me that police came to my door at times when I was screaming and he talked to them while I was in the bathroom crying and convinced them everything was ok. I believed what he didn’t have to put into words but only insinuate, that everyone will call me a stupid lying whore for staying around and trying to get help would only result in being told so. I was wrong. My doctor called the police without my knowledge, everyone treated me with compassion and respect and told me I was safe now. I thought that meant other girls would be safe now. I was mistaken. I held onto the remaining shards of my life with all my strength, allowing people under his spell to treat me despicably as I fought the tears, told myself it’s my fault for not being a better person who speaks up and is more than just quiet and friendly but involved and let’s you know them and is there for you. I tried to hold my head high and ignore them or focus on the 3 friends I had left and remind myself that they could have no clue what the truth was and that they would never believe me over such a charming loveable individual. How do you tell someone that a person they admire is capable of worse things than they have ever imagined and expect them to believe you unless they are incredibly close and trusting of you?Trial is coming up. I thought I could seek back up through expert witnesses and professionals who could untangle the dark web of deadly lies, ignorance and misinformation. I thought maybe I could find others like the girl he claimed to have put in the hospital for three months.. I thought.. Maybe.. I could sleep at night one day without picturing dead girls all alone in a landfill disposed of by him and forgotten. That is only my imagination but your mind is your window to the world and it’s all you see. Instead I am told that due to the burden of proof, even after the stack of felony indictments an incredible female detective at Smyrna PD was able to procure on my behalf.. That he will most likely walk free or get less than a decade and be let loose upon the world again. If you ever get hurt, make sure it’s by a total stranger and that you see clearly what’s going on in order to be able to immediately, report it and get the hell away from them so the law can protect you.(sarcasm if u didn’t see it.)There has to be an alarm raised and debate changed. Not for me but for my niece, my cousins, our daughters and sons, every human being who is out there vulnerable to be spotted by a shark who probably dresses and speaks properly and seems like a “stand up citizen” maybe even have a position of authority, maybe even like he did, claim to be a representative of Jesus and some version of my personal Satan’s false story that he was a champion of all orphans and the disenfranchised. I have pictures of him surrounded by smiling children he claimed were in a orphanage he managed for a time in an impoverished part of the world and claimed to have been their main source of affection and mental health assistance in dealing with the loss of their parents.If you are totally mind f9(?#d after reading this, understand that I have been fighting epic battles through Hell daily via my mind and PTSD armed with love  from my son, family, Antwane. An inkling that maybe I can build some sort of bridge to the nameless victims who will never have a charge formally filed much less prosecuted, the forgotten girls buried in shallow graves because a monster feasted on their human heart and knew no one would be in their corner to save them and that society at Large would walk on their unmarked grave with no tears shed for a “whore”. Armed with the small bit of reason and understanding I’ve gained through education and love not letting me die no matter how much agony and confusion and darkness swallowed me whole I walk out of that dark corner of shame today. I still need healing, I still am learning not to be hard on myself, I still have no idea what I’m doing but I’m fighting y’all and I have gained the type of clarity I’m not sure many people ever have after a lifetime. There is no magic day to come where after you try hard enough you never incur anymore criticism and you feel good enough, but in the meantime those who are so sure of themselves are devouring the innocent, virtually wholly unchecked and every bully, every shaming comment meant to put you down and shut you up is a type of  weaponry used by those behaving inhumanely and projecting their diminished humanity onto you. Don’t let them do it. If you care how you affect other people you are top notch in my book and every shortcoming you have tell everyone to STFU about and keep going. Your inability to wow a crowd or rock a swimsuit for a magazine or even speak to a stranger or your emotional outburst and lack of attention to your house when you’re depressed.. any and everything that you feel ashamed about, you give it the middle finger for me. Your voice in your own head and how you see yourself is where it starts and YOU are who I need to join me in this fight with the odds insanely against me and the rest who fall into their snare. I need you to keep trying,I need you to fight to see for yourself what really matters and what is left because there are no superheroes or quick fixes and everytime you feel empathy for someone and want to take their pain or help, this is how. You become strong and you fight for reason, compassion, you fight the voices that degrade and throw away human beings but you start with your own.If you want to talk, text me. Might take some time but I’ll be there and I will not judge anything so if you just need to vent things you feel shame about I am a good sounding board I have discovered. I don’t have any answers for you but I am another human being who values you. Naj is doing great btw he’s facing his own bullies but he’s got an expert on his side and an amazing dad and uncle. I have an extremely bright gorgeous life ahead and I see it on the horizon. I almost said if I don’t reach it I will die trying but there are 3 amazing guys in the next room that love me, a gorgeous brilliant sister a few minutes away, my mom with her endless Love, compassion, years of memories and experience that I hope to be able to properly learn from and appreciate, this genius niece who is so much like me at her age but better and actually likes me. I could keep going. If you looked in the mirror today and thought anything besides “Damn fine bitch, world’s lucky to have me!” then go apologize please. Maybe you won’t mean it but you can get there. I may not be able to stop him. There may be Hell on Earth that I have yet to see, but the people who love us and are waiting for us to meet and love them, they are what matters now. You are what matters to me now. He used to tell me I would gain great wisdom from him and help him change the world. I did gain wisdom, I won’t give him credit for that, I dug it out of the ashes of what he left behind. If that’s possible then imagine what you can do

[lizzybeth1986]

Really, Really Slow Thoughts on TRR Book 3, Chapter 3

• This QT took two days. Because my pace has been sluggish. Because my thoughts on this chapter have been sluggish.

• This chapter is the only time in the entire series that I was barely invested. That’s only ever happened to be at the beginning of Book 1, and only because I didn’t think it would amount to anything beyond a Cinderella story. I haven’t been in that space with a single chapter in this book since Book 1,Chapter 8. I’m just…bored.

• Title: Allies among Enemies. Sounds very Kenna and Luther, no? But I doubt Kenna ever had to sit and play marriage counselor to a squabbling couple.

•

Esther asking all the relevant questions.

I mean, sure, Bertrand, I get it: I need to make a tour and that involves visiting other duchies, Justin thinks Madeleine would make a bomb press secretary, and I have to play matchmaker for her parents –

Wait what. Why do I need to resolve a personal fight because Madeleine’s parents? I know it’s all about reaching out and getting allies and making connections but playing armchair therapist just sounds extremely silly.

• I like that they’re carrying over the “house colours” strategy from TCaTF. Kenna occasionally did this during alliances, especially when meeting with the Nevrakis family.

•

So I have a dress “as green as Madeleine’s envy towards me and black as her shrivelled heart” (bomb analogy, Maxwell!). Buuuut I’m taking part in a court event. A formal ball. Why is the dress style more like what I wore in the club for Madeleine’s bachelorette and Liam’s bachelor party???

• Also can you imagine how awkward waltzing would look in this dress? Ballroom dresses are long and flowy for a reason. Part of the beauty of your twirl comes from how your skirt flows when you’re turning, esp in a dance like the Cordonian Waltz where the twirl is the highlight.

• So I’m supposed to ensure Adeleide comes for the wedding. Loooogically the story should make this easier on me because I already did the hard work of winning her over the last book right? Wrong. Because the story doesn’t care. It doesn’t care which Liam I chose, whether I’ve ever worn pepto bismol in my life or not, whether I charmed the pants off Adeleide (not literally). Nope. I still have to start from scratch (wouldn’t be the first time tho. I won over Kiara and Penelope in Book 1 only for them to ditch me next book [even though Penelope knew it wasn’t my fault. You owe me big, sister]).

• Soooo Godfrey, Madeleine’s dad, is an English nobleman. His marriage to Adeleide was a political alliance and he doesn’t actually give a shit about Cordonia unless his daughter is the goddamn country’s queen.

• Hmm. So Madeleine is half Cordonian too. Jesus Christ for a country that doesn’t like foreigners very much, a lot of its major players seem to have at least one non-Cordonian parent: Liam (possibly), Madeleine, Drake, Hana…

• I was a little confused because Book 1 mentioned that Madeleine is “practically royalty” from her father’s side - but it’s possible that’s more a hint towards his English roots. I guess we can rule him out for who the enemy is rn because this dude genuinely doesn’t give a shit.

• So Liam, whose interactions with Godfrey have been few and far between and who admits he has never really met him in a social setting, is the one who provides us inputs on how to deal with the Duke. Turns out this advice is pretty helpful, coming from someone who barely knows the man.

•

Savour this moment, Liam stans. This - and the “we need to avoid this lack of crowd at our wedding” exchange, are the only times we will get to properly interact with him today.

• I know this decor looks like a piñata threw up over the ballroom but I love the purple and the soft lighting xD

• So the first event post Homecoming is super empty, which is quite dishearting. It’s enough to make even our resident bar-hopper Adeleide upset.

•

Is it just me or does “STOICISM RULEZ!!!” Regina sound like she gives zero fucks today? I mean sure it could just be her usual irritation around Adelaide but here even Constantine seems a little taken aback. And besides, it’s not the Krona duchy that needs anything from the Crown, it’s the Crown that needs something from them. Your arrogance doesn’t have any legs to stand on, Regina.

• Also idk but am I the only one getting a different vibe from Regina this book? In the debriefing meeting she wasn’t there at all, and this is someone who has been a part of every meeting we’ve seen in the books. Then she comes here, to an event where if anything SHE needs to be begging her cousin to come for her stepson’s/some random noblewoman’s wedding, and she’s busy making snappy comments about the appetizers (and let’s be honest, everyone else found their spread incredibly good. Even Drake. DRAKE)

• Madeleine’s dad is essentially Madeleine Sr.

• “Magic Friendship Dust” my ass.

• Madeleine’s reaction to this “be my press secretary” thing is “I told you so” followed by a resounding (implied) “fuck you”. What else were you expecting, Esther?

•

It’s great that they say this, but I would have preferred if they showed it. It really isn’t that hard. Show him talking independently to a noble or two (you don’t even have to show their faces) - winning some over and not managing to sway some others. The reason a lot of Liam fans are upset is that not only does the writing make weak excuses to keep him from working WITH the MC, we aren’t even given a proper glimpse of what he IS doing!

I’ll return to this point later, because I have a LOT to say 😠

• …cheeseburgers aren’t appetizers, Drake.

• I’d agree with you about the buffalo wings tho.

• Nomnom that pasta looks good.

• I’d betray me for a plate of truffled penne too, Esther.

•

Back in the essay I wrote on the Balcony Scene, I spoke of how Liam’s mother’s story seemed like a mirror to the MC’s (I mentioned that she might be a foreigner, though, and given that Neville and Drake make the comparison between the MC and her, and that her son is customizable by ethnicity, I still think there are chances that is true). Called it! xD

• Neville is still as big a creep as he ever was and this scene was extremely ugly, especially with regards to Drake. But it was also extremely powerful because the group gets to rally around and protect him, and show Neville that Drake has people who will support him no matter what. It was a scene I felt was needed because it gives you a much better idea of what Drake has had to deal with in court. (also I know he’s taking the tour coz he wants a wife [good luck getting one with THAT level of creepy, asshole!] but I’m suspicious about him following ppl he doesn’t even like around).

• This is also amazing buildup to the dancing scene. The version of the scene I got was automatically platonic, which I loved, and I got more comfortable with this scene than I have ever felt with any non-Liam-LI scene so far (you know how you keep stressing about accidental romance points? That).

• In my playthrough, Esther keeps it professional, gives him encouragement, teaches him how to glide using a mental image. Drake points out he needs to give Liam adequate support and he will need to actually prove himself to other nobles for that. As a romantic scene, it really shines (and indeed it should, given that the Cordonian waltz is primarily romantic) but it works very well on a platonic level too.

• I also really, really loved the comparison Drake made between his situation and hers: that the MC is proof that he can hold on to who he is even if he becomes a part of the nobility/has endured this much from them. Drake’s character arc is built heavily on his fear that being part of the nobility can change people, based on very valid experiences. We’ve seen in this chapter how desperately some nobles cling to their titles, almost using it to make up for their lack of personality (I’m looking at you, Neville and Godfrey). But he has proof all around him too, that you don’t need to lose who you are through a title. In a lot of ways this plays really well into his “letting go” arc as well.

• Okay so I went with Godfrey first. He’s talking to Liam, who again makes a disappearing act (I don’t mind, because the MC specifically stated she wanted to speak to the Duke alone). I’m not surprised Liam wasn’t making much headway. This is the second dude to dump Madeleine after all, and worse still he’s brother to the first dude to dump her. No wonder Liam’s sticking to safe subjects like choice of scotch!

• YIKES @ Godfrey’s constant harping of successes and defeats. Why don’t we talk about what a failure YOU are as a dad, Duke Karlington, since you’re only ever there for Madeleine to tell her what a failure she is!

• I like the exchange they show us between Adeleide and Regina before the MC steps in. Regina’s care and concern for Madeleine has pretty much been there from the beginning and for what it’s worth, it has been genuine.

• Oh man. I want to give Adeleide a hug and some champagne. I mean I don’t exactly envision her winning the “best mother” award anytime soon, but she’s trying. Perhaps a little too pushy and a little too focused on her own coping mechanisms, but still, she cares enough about Madeleine to want to be there for her no matter what. Which is more than I can say for Godfrey, who thinks being a father means paying an annual visit to his goddamn FAMILY and judges people for failing when he’s perhaps the biggest failure in the room.

• Waltz time!

• Though between Esther not having a twirly skirt and Drake having an injured shoulder I’m not sure they even looked that good.

• WTF ESTHER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO IS IN ANY CONDITION TO MANAGE A LIFT

•

HE’S NOT JOHNY CASTLE AND THIS ISN’T DIRTY DANCING. STOP PUTTING DRAKE IN A CORNER.

• AT LEAST BABY DIDN’T MAKE JOHNY LIFT HER ON AN INJURED ARM. AND AT LEAST THEY AGREED TO DO IT TOGETHER NOT SPRUNG IT ON HIM LIKE A FUCKING JACK-IN-THE-BOX.

• “He winces at the pressure on his arm, but smiles through it”. …damn I’m angry at my own MC now.

• Drinking game time!!

• I’m not going to comment much on the scene because it’s going to be part of my group scenes essay, but I *will* say I’m so happy Hana gets her due in this one. She really shines in terms of character development in this scene and she gets the best line this whole chapter xD xD xD

•

• I think Hana has had this burn simmering in her pressure cooker ever since the bell-pepper episode in Shanghai 😂😂

• “You all know there’s more to me than liking whiskey, right?”

This is unfair and inaccurate, people. Of course there’s more. He likes cheeseburgers and pasta and greasy junk food too, cmon.

• I recall speaking not too long ago about how Madeleine and Hana had very different approaches to similar issues (family pressure, feeling like they are failures, broken engagements with men they didn’t love), and that Madeleine very possibly faced a lot of family pressure (I was wrong about the source being Adeleide, though). To me this forms part of why Hana can see Madeleine the way no one else can, and why it’s essential to have her around when Madeleine opens up.

• This doesn’t really change my opinion of Madeleine, though. It makes sense of some things, but in my mind nothing can really justify the sick pleasure Madeleine gets out of breaking people. She makes excuses for herself by calling it “not tiptoeing on other people’s fragile feelings”, but that would imply she was just being honest and not actively working towards making people feel like shit. In both Hana and Penelope’s cases she was actively working on making them feel like they were beneath her, and enjoying doing that. To me what she did, especially to Hana, was emotional abuse. Speaking ecstatically about “breaking” a human being who has harmed you in no way, is abusive. No more, no less.

• Please don’t tell me a Madeleine and Hana ship will be a thing now. No. Eww. I’d rather not pair Hana with someone who was actively trying to break her. I don’t care how much of a “crush” Madeleine seems to have.

• No matter how misguided Adeleide’s attempts to parent Madeleine are, to me she clearly wins the parenting stakes hands down. She may have made Madeleine feel like she couldn’t mourn what happened to her, but at least she views her daughter as more of a human being than a prize horse.

•

Didn’t lie to get her way? Was saying “I’m allergic to chocolate and you could have killed me” just a figment of my imagination then???

•

• You have to be fucking kidding me. The MC is a duchess now. The Beaumonts are supposed to be helping her. These three should be at the top of their itinerary right now, not throwing things together at the last minute every chapter. Isn’t this Unity Tour supposed to be about knowing your allies and enemies, and preparing accordingly? Being unprepared (somehow, barely) made sense to some extent in the first two books, but things are different now.

• Penelope next week! That woman owes us big time.

General Thoughts on this Chapter:

• Things I feel might come up in Penelope’s estate:

1. Penelope’s anxiety and her parents’ fears about sending her back to court

2. Personal issues within the family maybe? Perhaps Penelope’s desire to take up pet couture designing and her mother’s disapproval of the same might feature.

3. At some point there may be some sort of redemption arc for her where she gets reminded of her involvement in what happened to the MC earlier. Penelope clearly owes the MC a great debt for letting her off the hook so easily.

4. I’ll be damned if I have to play therapist for these people too 😠

• This whole idea of “meddling” is stupid. These people are adults. Grown people, who should be expected to know how to handle their own lives and talk to each other. The royalty/the MC shouldn’t be expected to babysit them. That’s not what we came here for.

• It stings even more when you take into account that the common public is feeling pretty terrified at the moment, and having their own, and here we are busy resolving the family squabbles of rich people.

• It highlights even more strongly what’s wrong with the whole idea of a Unity Tour. I’m hoping this “resolving-aristocrat-issues” thing won’t become a pattern because it’s beginning to look ridiculous.

• @ladynevrakis mentions in her excellent write-up on this week’s chapter that this chapter is a lot better if you’re a non-Liam shipper, and extremely frustrating if you are.

Correct on both counts. As the MC you’re just starting out as a noblewoman, and you will need all the support you can get. If you’re with Drake (especially Drake), Hana or Maxwell, you get plenty opportunities for support from all of them. With Liam, you barely get a few lines here and there before he’s completely MIA. There is no opportunity for Liam or his fiancee to talk properly, or work together as a team. And this house is unquestionably the toughest one, so why does the writing not give Liam any chance to truly be there for her when she needs it???

• I can understand why he wasn’t there for the most part. In the Neville sequence he isn’t there precisely because the writers need to highlight how people treat Drake when Liam isn’t around (and to show what people say about Liam behind his back), and there is no way you could have Liam around in either the group scene or the final scene with the family without making things worse (daughter’s former fiancè, hello?). Plus if the MC is not engaged to him, it would look weird for him to be present at some of these conversations.

STILL, there were a whole range of ways you could write him without him actually being involved in the patch-up, and still do justice to his character:

1. Eat with the group: The group eating scene could have been a perfect time to have Liam come, speak about his progress with convincing ppl, bond with the group over the delicious spread, and leave before Neville enters.

2. Check in periodically: Liam is my MC’s fiancè. They are here together on their first tour as a couple. They’re doing this tour for his people and his country. She is a newcomer and it is essential he has her back. It wouldn’t have hurt to have him come in on occasion and ask her how she is holding up. It wouldn’t have taken more than a scene or two, really, and it could have worked perfectly both on a neutral and romantic level. If you’re going to make Drake such a huge presence in this chapter that you’d go the extra mile and write him two ways, you can very well do the same for Liam. It’s even more essential in his case because he is the King of Cordonia and pretty damn invested in making this tour work.

3. Have the MC notice what Liam was doing independent of her: The writing team is no stranger to writing conversations that don’t involve the MC’s presence at all. We know Liam was spending time speaking to the few nobles in attendance, but we’re never shown how he does this or whether he succeeds. I know he’s as hard at work as the MC is, but I don’t see what he’s doing. Could you really blame readers for thinking he is less involved, then?

4. The Little Things: A gentle touch here, a smile there if he’s your fiancè. Things you would do with your partner when you don’t have much time together but still want to show them they care.

It’s not like the writers don’t know how to involve Liam. They’ve done a really good job of this in the past. The entire social season saw Liam working behind the scenes to ensure the MC was protected and cared for, even when he couldn’t be involved. The engagement tour had him pitching in to help whenever it didn’t seem too suspicious to. In all these instances they kept in mind Liam’s role and limitations, and STILL managed to make him proactive.

The writers had plenty opportunity this chapter to have Liam be there for her in small ways, but hardly bothered to involve him. I appreciate wanting to make his interactions as neutral as possible but that doesn’t mean you don’t put any effort into writing him at all.

To add insult to serious injury, this chapter follows another one where the MC practically takes over Liam’s speech (post the video), leaving Liam with little space to do anything besides agreeing with her. It’s essential - now more than ever - to portray Liam as decisive and proactive, yet the writing has him take 10 steps backwards in terms of character development. The MC is his fiancèe/close friend now. She should be able to see him properly as a politician and a leader at this point. If that doesn’t get resolved soon, we’re in danger of screwing up an interesting character who has a lot of potential.

• I’m still holding out on this book, because it’s still early and I believe they can turn things around and ensure there is a fair balance between the LIs. They are taking what we say into consideration and they have worked hard to make our other LIs’ interactions with us as safe and platonic as possible. I think this is a matter of balance, and I still think they can manage to do a good job of it once they ensure there is a balance.

• But this chapter? I’m not going pretend I’m happy.

[the-last-airbadger]

My 2017

The end of the year is in sight, and so it is time to, once again, write a long post in which I look back on the past year and get all sentimental and stuff. It’s fun! And since I’ve kinda made an annual tradition out of it, why the fuck not?

I’m gonna be using the same questions/categories as I did last year for maximum comparison (and so I know what to write about), so if you want to read last year’s post, I’ll link it here: (x)

The Beginning of 2017 vs. Now I definately think that there’s a huge difference between the beginning of the year and the end. When this year started, I was sooooo busy with school. I had multiple test weeks coming up and I was behind on almost all my subjects. The stress of all that stuff caused me to feel really unhappy, and apart from that my transition also wasn’t really moving forward. And now? Now I’m five months on T, finished with school, and even though work is still stressfull at the moment and I’m still not really happy, I can say that I’m a lot happier than I was at the beginning of the year. I also feel like at the beginning of the year I was kinda stuck in a negative mindset. I felt lonely all the time, and I had just started to realise that I was a very insecure person and I felt really lonely and busy and isolated and I just wasn’t in a good place, ya know? And I feel like in the past year I’ve become better at dealing with my insecurities and with jealousy, which has increased the value I have of myself, which has definately improved my quality of life. 

So, to summarise it: Since the beginning of the year I’ve reached multiple of my goals, reached some milestones and, most importantly, I’ve grown as a person.

Best things about 2017 So many good things happened this year! I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll try to start with things that happened at the beginning of the year and just see where it leads me. I hope I won’t forget anything lmao.

Okay, so first of all, Voltron season 2, 3 and 4 were all released this year! Three seasons! That’s crazy! I didn’t really enjoy the last two that much, but damn, season 2 was really fun! Other tv shows that got new seasons this year were Stranger Things, Doctor Who (I can’t believe I’ve only finished the tenth doctors seasons this year! I can’t believe I’ve not been into Doctor Who for more than a year! It’s so much funn!!!!), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (which reminds me, I started watching “the good place” this year! Amazing show!), and Sense8! Speaking of sense8, I only started watching it in the beginning of this year, and it has easily become one of my favourite shows ever! I’m so glad I got to watch this show this year! 

Then in february, I discovered the band One Ok Rock, which is one of my favourite bands at the moment. It’s crazy to think I haven’t even known them for a year, because they’ve become such an integral part of my music library. And so have Lindsey Stirling and Ed Sheeran by the way! I went to a Lindsey Stirling concert in March and have become a huge fan of her latest album “brave enough” ever since then. And Ed Sheeran’s album “Devide” had some amazing songs on it that I connected with instantly and have helped me through some hard times. I really can’t believe I’ve only been listening to these songs for like nine months or something. It feels like it’s been forever. The same goes for a certain musical genre by the way, but we’ll get into that later!!

Then in may, two amazing things happened, first of all I got to perform on a huge stage with my choir, and met some famous dutch people there! Roel van Velzen for example! That was crazy! We were on TV!!! 

The second thing is, I finished my exams and was done with school! This made me feel sooooo much happier. I instantly just felt a lot better and suddenly had time to do stuff I liked, like read and write and play the piano. Honestly, those months (end of may - end of august) were some of the best months I’ve had in a loooong time. I wish I could go back sometimes lmao.

So yeah, I graduated, turned eightteen, went to Ireland for the first time. All of that stuff was amazing. Then, on the 28th of june, I went to the hospital and got one of the best surprises I’ve ever gotten. I COULD FINALLY, FINALLY, GO ON T! If I had to pick my best day of the year, I’d probably choose this day. Testosterone has already improved my life so much and I’ve only been on it for five months. I can’t imagine how much it will change me in the next year and I also can’t wait to find out!!

Oh, and after that, I GOT INTO KPOP! I started really listening to Day6 during my vacation to ireland, but around the end of august/beginning of september, I started to get really really into SHINee, and in extention, to kpop. Honestly, this might sound dramatic, but Day6 and SHINee have added so much to my life. Their music and just their personalities never fail to make me smile, and they bring me comfort when I feel down. Since a few weeks, BTS has also been added to that list. Their music and the members just really mean a lot to me, so I’d say kpop is definately one of the best things that happened to me this year. 

Then I got a job in september, and I can’t really remember if anything big has happened since then. The only thing I can really think of is I SAW JACKSEPTICEYE LIVE! That evening was such a fun evening and it was awesome to finally get to see one of my heroes in person and to be in the same room with him and see that he’s actually real, haha. I don’t think I’ve screamed that much anywhere else this year. 

Oh, and I also went to my first pride this year! Sadly, I couldn’t stay there very long because of work, but it was amazing and I can’t wait to go again!

I also started my youtube channel this year, which is cool. I really love making content for it, but unfortunately it takes a lot of time that I usually don’t have. I hope I’ll be able to keep it up for another year!

So, I think that’s it for this year. If you look at it like this it’s actually quite a lot of positive stuff! That’s always good.

OH AND HOW COULD I FORGET I went to london with my mom this year! It was only two nights but it was amazing and I had loads of fun there! 

And another thing I wanted to add is I feel like I’ve become a lot closer with my friends this past year. I guess that’s just what happens when you know them for a year longer, but idk. We see eachother a lot less than last year and despite that we’ve only become closer and I think that’s a really amazing thing.

OH, and I started to watch the You’re So Brave podcast by Chase Ross & Aaron Ansuini and oh my god have these dudes helped me a lot in the past year. Thank you guys so so much!!!

My resolutions for 2017? I haven’t looked at my resolutions for this year since I posted them last year... oops. But I remember quite a few of them and I believe I’ve achieved some of them so I’m just going to copy-paste them here and adress them all individually

Go on Testosterone, for real this time - Did that!! I went on T on the 28th of July 2017 and am now Five months and Three days on T!

Write more! - .... well I guess I failed that one. I wrote exactly four pages in the past year

Save money and buy new jeans, flannels and hoodies - I did save money, and bought my favourite flannel, hoodie and jeans this year, so I guess that counts

Finish School! - DID THAT

Read a lot of books! - Sadly, I didn’t manage to achieve my reading goal on goodreads. I only read 22 books this year when I wanted to read 35. Last year, I read about the same amount, so I’d count this as a fail.

Stay Hydrated! - Idek if I did this lmao. I did become more aware of what I’m eating and what I should eat more and less to stay healthy, so I’m going to count this as a win

Try to make my tumblr blog a safe and positive place for everyone - I’ll let you guys be the judge of that

Stay positive - I’ve definately tried this, so that’s good enough

Try to be the best person I can be - I’ve become a lot more self aware the past year, and I did find out what my flaws were and how to work on them, so I think I did this.

Fight my insecurities - As I’ve stated in the beginning of this post, I think I’ve become better at dealing with them, so I’d say yeah, I did that!

Reach 200 followers on tumblr!! - Did that! I’ve got about 280 followers now!!

So yeah, overall I think I did pretty good in the past year! Better than I expected at least haha

Expectations for 2018 Okay, let’s see. I’m expecting I’ll keep my job until around june/july. I’ll turn nineteen in june, and I’m going to see Paramore, Markiplier, Ed Sheeran and Dan and Phil live this year! Really looking forward to that!! Then in september I’m going to start university, and I think that I’m going to have Top-Surgery somewhere between september and december of this year. Apart from that I don’t really know what to expect. I think university will be quite easy for me education-wise, and hard social-wise, since I’m not good around strangers and might have some slight social anxiety. But apart from that I don’t really have a clear vision for the future. I am probably going to start learing how to drive so I might get my driver’s liscence this year. Who knows? It’ll be a mystery until I’ve lived it guys.

2018 Resolutions? I am feeling ambitious rn so I’m probably gonna set the bar too high but oh well who cares let’s do this

Finally decide what to study

Get Top-Surgery

Write at least 100 pages of a story

Accomplish my reading challenge on goodreads (I’m gonna try 35 books again)

Start University

Make new friends

Stop with my acting classes

Learn how to drive

Improve my drawing skills (maybe make a comic?)

Reach 300 followers on Tumblr

Get more than 20 subs on Youtube and consistently create content for my channel

Learn Divenire on the Piano

Dye my hair

Continue to shower every day (Hygene is important!)

Start working out/exercising regularely

Get new glasses

And yeah, that’s it! I hope you’ve all enjoyed going along on this journey through my past year with me. Looking back on the past year is always one of my favourite parts of new year’s eve. It’s so good to look back and see all that you’ve accomplished in a year and it just makes me really sentimental and stuff and I like that. 

Anyways, I hope you all have a great evening, and I’ll see you guys next year!

[stilinski-jpeg]

Stoned On You

A/N: Hiii. This is a collaboration with me and @minhosmeanhoe . We figured out  that we’re the same person with the same dirty mind and this was the outcome. This is the longest and most smut I'm sure either of us has ever written in our lives and I hope you guys love reading as much as we loved writing it ! The song that goes with this fic is Stoned On You by Jaymes Young. 

Warnings: smut; smoking (weed), drinking, mentions of violence, hair pulling; I’m sure there is more but idk rn

Word Count: 12,529

My entire mind and body relaxed as I placed the blunt in between my lips and inhaled its deliciously intoxicating fumes, the TV screen playing colorful cartoons in front of Dylan and I. A laugh escaped my throat, along with the excess smoke, thanks to the funny shapes and colors dancing before me at the same time that I passed the joint right back to my best friend. He laughed too, grabbing the joint from me and placing it between his lips where it hung lazily.

Fuck, he looked good. A layer of scruff collected along his jaw and chin, making him look more grown up than the boy I met years ago. His signature Mets cap sat backwards on his head, doing little to hide the bits of hair peeking out of the sides. Dylan and I had been friends for a long time, but it was always when we were a little high or slightly intoxicated that I got that tingling feeling between my thighs. A feeling so unbelievably strong, it would take over all of my thoughts whenever we were together. I couldn’t deny the way I secretly lusted over him, but I knew I wasn’t the only one. I’ve caught Dylan staring at me with dark pupils more than once or biting down on his lips as he gazed at mine.

Why either of us never did anything about it was a mystery. It seemed like it'd be so effortless for us to just cross that line, without that fear of not being able to come back. But I think it was always that fear of losing the friendship or things being weird after that always halted us. Although, that never hindered my mind from going off on its own. Even now as my thoughts started to cloud, all that didn't seem to matter as much. I smiled as he expertly took a swig of his beer while the blunt was still in historic mouth. I wanted to be that bottle or the blunt or both.

As the liquid went down his throat, pushing forward his Adam’s apple for the slightest second, I couldn’t help but watch in complete awe. Dylan could do the simplest of things and it immediately had the capacity to turn me on. My best friend finished taking a swig of the cold beverage and as soon as he took the bottle off of his lips, he replaced it with his tongue to pick up any excess beer. It was just a normal thing any human did, but it still managed to send desire rippling right through my entire body and land straight in my core.

I shifted slightly, trying to shake off some of that desire. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to fight it off. He turned to me, just as sluggish as you'd expect, a worried look on his face.

“Ah shit babe, you cold?”

I know what you're thinking, babe isn't what best friends call each other. But, we weren't your typical best friends. When I met Dylan, I knew we both felt as if there were something else there between us. Call it sexual tension or a connection, but I've never thought that Dylan holding my hand as we walked down the street was anything more than just that. Or sitting on the couch smoking a joint in my underwear with him was out of the norm. It was just how it had alway been. So when one day he started calling me babe, it stuck like any other nickname.

I nodded in reply to his question, even though it was a lie. He lifted his arm for me to snuggle into him and I did, curling my body into him and wrapping my leg around his. This was no help to the pool I was creating in my panties. He lazily rubbed small circles into my skin with his thumb, and I could only imagine him rubbing those same circles into my clit.

A small laugh erupted from his chest as his amber eyes focused on the television screen and I couldn’t even bother taking my eyes off of him to see what he found so amusing. All I cared about was the way he pulled the joint out of his mouth and blew a smoke as he passed it back to me, my eyes lingering on his slim fingers holding it. If only he knew the things I’d let him do to me with those beautiful fingers of his.

Gladly taking it from him, I breathed in one last puff before leaning over to his coffee table and putting it out on the ash tray. Dylan turned to me with a confused expression as to why I just did that, but instead, courage like no other washed over me as I placed my hand on his chin and gently opened his mouth. He watched me with intrigue swimming in his eyes, my lips parting slightly so I could blow the remaining smoke into his mouth. He breathed it in happily with a smirk playing on his face and I knew that if he didn’t lose that smirk soon, I certainly wouldn’t be able to control myself any longer.

I curled back into him trying to fight off the sinful thoughts that were winning the war in my brain. It was a few minutes later that I finally decided I didn't care about the consequences of any of my actions. I'd been holding back this pent up sexual tension for far too long, we both had.

In one smooth movement, I slipped my hand past the waistband of his sweatpants and his boxers. He veered his hips fractionally, but otherwise seemed unfazed. I frowned at him, wondering why I wasn't affecting him more. He blinked slowly, his eyes low and glossed. He was higher than a kite, barely able to register my fingers inching towards his cock. I smirked, I guessed I'd have to try a little harder.

I felt around until the tips of my fingers grazed over his member. It was soft still, unknowing to the pleasure I was about to unleash on it. Wrapping my fingers around it, I began palming him slowly. I kept my eyes on the TV, trying to seem more nonchalant than I felt. He quickly started growing harder in my hand, making me smile. I bit my lip, forcing it back.

He chuckled, his attention now mine again. “Uh, whatcha doin’ babe?”

He wasn't stopping me, he only grew firmer and firmer. I ignored him, picking up my pace and rubbing my hand against him faster. I felt him relax and sink into the couch. Looking up at him, I noticed his bottom lip harshly tugged in between his teeth as he closed his eyes in complete bliss. It was certainly a sight for sore eyes to see the person I consider to be the sexiest man I know coming apart because of me. His hips slightly jerked to create a different type of friction and I gladly followed his guide, wanting him to feel his absolute best.

“Fuck, babe.” Dylan moaned breathlessly and the sound provoked such an intense ache in my core, I had to rub my thighs together to settle it down a bit. “A little tighter, please.”

It was my turn to moan as I heard him beg beneath me, knowing exactly want he wanted and not being afraid to tell me. There’s nothing sexier than a man allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of you and trust you enough to tell you what he genuinely liked.

My hand gripped slightly more around him and the loud growl that he released was more than enough to spark an insatiable fire inside of me. I knew for a fact that I would be willing to do any-fucking-thing this man ever had the desire to do because that’s how much of an effect he already has on the girl currently jerking him off. My thumb slid over his swollen red tip and I whimpered when I felt the liquid gathering over his slit, my tongue immediately craving a taste— no, needing it.

Never faltering my rapid movements on his member, I quickly pulled myself out of his embrace and fell down to the floor in front of him. I watched as he opened his eyes to see what I was doing, only to have them roll to the back of his head once he understood what the next step was. Kneeling in front of him and licking my lips one last time, I leaned forward and replaced my hand with my warm mouth. His pelvis bucking instantly and his hands finding a new home tangled in my hair.

I started at my own leisure, bobbing all the way down until his tip skimmed the back of my throat, before retreating back up again. I flattened my tongue and sucked in my cheeks as I pulled him in and out of my mouth. The sounds stumbling from his lips were heavenly, sending wave after wave of lust crashing down on me. Which only fuelled me to want to pleasure him more.

I made good use of my other hand, cupping his balls skillfully and massaging them. He growled, his nails scraping against my scalp and his hips jolting upwards harshly into my mouth. I looked up at him through watery eyes to find his mouth hanging open while his eyes fluttered between opened and closed. He began thrusting his hips in his own rhythm, pushing my head down against him while he shot himself up into my mouth. I took all of him as best I could, humming when I was able to reach his edge.

“God, why haven't we done this before?” He practically whined.

I struggled to answer his question, humming and mumbling around the cock currently lodged in my throat. I felt the grip on my hair loosen and pulled him out of my mouth.

“It's not like I haven't wanted to before,” I repeated, this time able to form actual words.

He smiled, grabbing me by the chin and lean forward until our lips were so close to one another I could smell the beer that he'd drank one too many of on his breath. “Well, if we're doing things we've always want to do, it's my turn.”

The smile remained as he reached around my waist, grabbing it and pulling me to my feet. Only to plop me back down horizontal on the couch. Thrill rushed through my veins as he slowly grabbed the hem of my t-shirt and lifted it off of my body, already exposing my breasts since I had no bra on. He instantly moaned at the sight before attaching his lips to one of them out of pure instinct. Considering the fact that he was wearing his Mets hat and looked too damn good for it to be taken off, my hands flew to his back instead of his hair as he gently bit down on the skin of my breast. His tongue soon found my perky nipple and had its own form of fun that I completely approved of.

Dylan’s hands dug into my waist and continued to assault one of my breasts before moving to the other one when he was satisfied. Moans fell from my lips at the wonderful feeling on my sensitive body and it made me wonder what else he was capable of. Thankfully though, my mind didn’t have to think long enough because he was already making his way down my chest and stomach (which were now infested with butterflies). Once he reached my belly button, Dylan dipped his tongue inside just to tease me at the same time that his hand moved over to my panties and gently slid his finger over me.

“Fuck, you’re unbelievably wet.” He groaned, his cock growing hard against my thigh. “And so damn warm.”

Before I even knew what was happening, Dylan completely tore himself apart from me and my body whined at the loss of heat within our contact. I looked up at him with concerned eyes thinking maybe he regret his lustful decisions and wanted to stop this, but instead he just grabbed his beer off of the coffee table and took a sip as he smirked at me.

“Seriously?” I whined, staring at him. “Come back.”

Dylan didn’t say anything, he simply leaned back down to me with the beer bottle still in his hand. His face hovered over mine, our lips inches apart before he suddenly placed the icy cold bottle over my covered core. I gasped immediately at the unexpected contrast of hot and cold on my body and Dylan chuckled over me. He had this smug look planted on his face and I wanted to be annoyed at him, but I couldn’t. The strange feeling in my heat actually felt oddly good as he slowly began to rub the bottle up and down. The cold condensed water from the bottle transferred through the flimsy fabric of my panties and soon enough touched my actual core, moans now coming out of me uncontrollably. It wasn’t something I’d ever thought of doing, but I was certainly glad someone as clever as Dylan had.

He pulled the beer away, sitting up again and taking one last swig of his drink. He let the liquid fill his mouth and he kept it there as he returned the bottle back to the coffee table. I watched as he scooted himself down the couch and hovered over my most private place. He glanced up at me, a mischievous look in his eyes, before he let a stream of beer flow out of his mouth and onto my panties, soaking them further.

I gasped, my back arching as I felt the beverage seep through to my core. His fingers hooked into the sides of my panties, his lips traveled upwards to right above my waistline pouring the rest of the liquid out there. He pulled my panties down slowly, his tongue trailing after them lapping up every bit of beer from my skin. It was cold from the drink along with the drink itself and I didn't know how to control the insane amount of gasps and moans coming out me. I always assumed Dylan was a kinky dude in bed, but to have it confirmed right in front of me is on a whole other level.

The soaking wet panties were tugged off of my legs and thrown on top of the coffee table as his hands gripped onto my thighs, spreading them apart. He placed lingering kisses on the inside of one which made goosebumps find a new home on the surface of my skin. Just as he was about to kiss my core, Dylan hovered over it and moved to my other thigh. I groaned in impatience and could feel his lips smirk against my body.

“Please.” I begged breathlessly.

“What do you want me to do?” He teased, knowing very well what it was I needed from him.

“Dylan, please.” I repeated.

“Babe, just tell me.” He whispered, his breath heating up my previously cold core. “Do you want my mouth or my fingers?”

“Y-Your mouth.” I panted. “I want your mouth on my cunt, sucking me until I’m cumming hard against your tongue.”

“As you wish, babygirl.”

Before I even had the chance to swoon at the nickname (the second he has given me tonight alone), Dylan flattened out his tongue and licked up my core. He moved past my folds and moaned as he tasted my juices.

His tongue worked me over deliciously, alternating between flicking over my clit and sucking on it until I cried out. I didn't think it could get much better, the way his rough tongue assaulted my core was already threatening to send me over the edge. That's when I felt his long dexterous finger slide inside of me and I was a moaning mess. It pumped exquisitely in and out, the pads of his fingers stroking in time with the tongue.

“Dylan…” I whined, unable to even complete the sentence I'd only half thought out.

I was sidetracked by the second finger that was inserted into my pussy. My whole body shook from the new found pleasure. He'd changed up the positioning of his fingers so they were now curled upward, caressing my g-spot so mind-blowingly that I knew I wouldn't​ be able to hold back much longer.

I tightened my walls around his fingers, trying my hardest to hold out on him. But in response he hummed into my cunt, sending a tidal wave down on me. I came, hard. My moans animalistic in nature, not evening caring if the neighbors complained. I squeezed my eyes shut, my mind spinning and my body volting.

I was so lost in my own world of pleasure that I only came back to the real one when I felt Dylan remove his fingers from my body and I hissed from him no longer being near me. My eyes opened in response and they immediately came into contact with his as he stood and slowly ripped his shirt off. I knew we weren’t going to stop here considering both of us had intense lust pooling in our pupils, but also from the way his erection was back up and ready for more. The sexual tension was swimming in the air as Dylan sat back down on the couch and lifted his finger, indicating he wanted me to stand.

I followed his actions without second thought before he rubbed his bare thighs with a raised eyebrow and I didn’t need any more explanation to know he wanted me on his lap. I gladly walked over to him and placed one knee on each side of his legs as I grabbed his member, Dylan biting down on his lip at the contact, and slowly pumped. Just as he placed his hands on my waist, I lowered myself down on him and allowed him to enter me until I sat down completely. Both of us immediately moaned at the feeling of our bodies connecting as one for the first time, something we realize we should’ve done a long time ago.

He was a thick man, there was no denying it. And there was also no denying that I really liked it. He stretched my walls deliciously, in a way no other guy ever could and I knew that I would be cumming in no time because of it. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I pulled myself back up and we both grunted out loud the second I slammed back down.

I let my head fall back as I continued this motion, hard and slow. My breast bouncing with each time I landed on his cock. He groaned loudly, his eyes fixed on me as I rode him and let myself get caught up in the way he filled me. As I lifted myself up again, attempting to come back down, his grip on my hips tightened. I was halted in my venture and I lifted my head up to look at him. Our eyes met, the lust so dark it seemed to burn into something deeper. I waited, almost impatiently, to see what he'd do next. What else could he do to get me going?

That when I felt his hips shoot up to meet mine. I moaned, squeezing his shoulders so hard that my nails were making indents in his skin. He held me in place, while he thrusted his hips up into me over and over again. Biting my lip to contain my screams, I didn't last long. Soon enough I was yelling out profanities as his speed picked up.

“God, you feel so fucking good. I could fuck you all night.” He growled, watching me as I started to come undone.

It was his mouth latching onto one of my breasts that really did me in. I barely had time to give him a warning as my walls closed in around his dick, slowing his pace but not by much. He loosened his hold on my hips, allowing me to ride out my own climax.

“Fuck, Dylan.” I cried, dropping down on him only a few more times before my legs began to shake. “I didn't know you had that in you.”

“Trust me, babygirl, I have a lot more in me.”

His words had an excitement running through me instantly. Neither of us moved until our breathing evened out. I rested my forehead on his, closing my eyes, my body weakening from all the wear. His warm breath fanned across my face, making more aware of the thin layer of sweat that coated both of our bodies.

When I opened my eyes again, he was looking at me. His eyes studying every inch of my face, trying to assess if I was doing alright. I gave him a smile to reassure him. When he smiled back, it was the mischievous smile I knew only brought trouble. He slipped out from under, sending me into the couch. I giggled, curiously wondering what he was up to next.

I felt him before I heard him, his hands wrapping around my front and pulling my back to his front. His hands cupping my breasts and kneading them carnally, a low growl erupting from his chest. I have no idea how, but he lifted the both of us up with my back still pressed against his warm chest before he forced me to kneel on the sofa. I had only begun to put together what he was planning when he placed his hand on my back and pushed me down until I was leaning on the head rest, my ass up in the air for him as my chest pressed against the back of the couch. Dylan’s hands slid to the inner of my thighs and nudged them for me to part them.

“Do you want me to go soft or go hard?” Dylan asked, his hand squeezing my thighs before settling on my waist as he positioned himself at my entrance.

“Really fucking hard.”

“Who would’ve known my best friend was such a dirty girl?” He teased, chuckling.

“Dirty and impatient.” I answered, backing my ass up so he could re-enter me already.

“Just how I fucking like it.” He smirked.

Dylan, suddenly, slammed into me hard and fast, making it impossible to keep from screaming out in pleasure. He didn’t even wait before already starting a quick pace. My chest continued to hit against the back of the couch as he pounded into me mercilessly, occasionally squeezing my waist with his calloused hands.

“Holy shit, Dylan.” I moaned loudly, my breathing becoming erratic and unstable.

“I know, babe. Fuck!” He shouted, Dylan’s balls slamming against my ass in the most delicious way.

It’s not exactly an everyday thing to come over to your best friend’s house one Friday afternoon to watch a movie and eat out, only to have him eat you out then fuck you like there’s no tomorrow in such a fast and dirty way. This wasn’t love nor wasn about feelings in any way. No, it was purely two consensual adults giving into their carnal and physical desires.

I could feel my arousal wetting down my thighs from how turned on I was as he now used his hands to back me towards him at the same time that he thrusted forward. The sounds our bodies make together—the wet, sticky, smacking and slapping noises—normally would’ve made me blush, but not with Dylan. With him, all of those sounds were fucking hot and they just drove us even further.

Because I was already so sensitive from just having two orgasms in a row, I could feel my body begin to tighten up again in preparation for a third one. The room was hot and sweat rolled down my forehead as the smell of sex filled the air, one that I could certainly get used to.

“Fuck, you have impressive stamina.” I managed to say through the moan that was strangled in my throat.

“I know.” Dylan chuckled, increasing his speed which I didn’t even think was possible. “It’s a gift really.”

“One that I’d like to explore some more ” I answered. “But, right now I really want to feel you cum inside of me. Please?”

“Of course, babygirl.” Dylan responded, reaching a hand around my lower belly and pressing hard on it to push me back with unbelievable strength in sync with his thrusts. It makes my entire cunt clench around him and it feels so fucking good that we’re both cumming in seconds.

A couple of minutes later, we were back in our original position, clothes returning to bodies and a new blunt lit as it passed back and forth between us. Neither of us had spoken since I'd return from cleaning myself up in the bathroom. My stomach turned with the familiar twist of fear as I contemplated whether my worst fears had been realized. I made several attempts to strike up a conversation, but all failed.

“Did we just fuck?” His voice startling me. I looked over at him with a smile, his eyes glossy and unsure.

“I thought I was a better fuck than that! You can't even remember?” I giggled, slapping him lightly on the arm.

“Oh, I remember. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t hallucinate the whole thing.” The smiled he lent me made my whole body light up.

“Don’t worry, you didn't.” I reassured him, Dylan biting down on his bottom lip. “You definitely just had your cock buried inside of me just moments ago.”

“Damn.” He said in awe and I laughed at his high state.

He stretched his hand out for me to pass him the joint I just smoked and I gladly did. Silence descended upon us again, but it wasn't awkward like the first time. It was calm and comfortable, the both of us coming to terms with the dirty things we just did together. Watching carefully as he pulled in smoke from the blunt in between his lips, my body already craving them again.

“Hey, babe.” Dylan called, my thoughts disappearing with his words.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Can we fuck again?”

A smirk immediately invaded my lips as he turned towards me with mischief sparkling in his dark pupils. My hands flew to the joint in his mouth before pulling it away and putting it out on the ash tray.

“I thought you'd never ask.” I teased, already tugging at my shirt and tearing it off.

~

The bar was crowded tonight. Dylan and I sat at our usual table, him drinking a beer and I a vodka tonic. Nothing had happened since our high night of fucking, but that didn't mean that the sexual tension was any less thick. I know he felt it too, yet, neither of us acknowledged it was there.

We were just people watching now, the dancers grinding and the drunks extra drunk. I laughed as a beefy man fell out of his chair, crumpling to the ground. I tapped Dylan's arm, trying to veer his attention to the drunken man but he didn't budge. I glanced at him only to find him staring straight ahead, his body tense and his jaw visibly clenched.

“Dylan?” I frowned, looking out into the crowd to see what he saw but came up with nothing. “What's wrong?”

Without wavering on his stance, he nodded pointedly at a guy sitting with his friend at a table. He was attractive, very attractive actually and, if I wasn't mistaken, he was eye fucking the shit out of me. His line of sight traveled down to the parts of my body he could see, paying extra attention to my cleavage. I blushed, playing with the condensation on my glass to keep me from looking at the cute guy. It didn't work, because a few seconds later I was looking at him again.

I heard Dylan clear his throat far more times than could be considered normal, but I brushed it off. Watching as the cute guy sat back in chair, his teeth sliding over his bottom lip seductively. I tucked my hair behind my ear, smiling. I felt something warm, against my thigh and glanced down to see Dylan's hand resting there. The gesture was undecipherable with my head swimming with thoughts of my new friend a few tables down. Our eye contact was strong, my body rushing with adrenaline as I dreamed of all the ways he could use those perfect hands of his.

“I'm gonna run to the restroom,” I told Dylan without ever looking at him. My only thought right then was perking up my tits and making sure my makeup looked good for this cute guy.

His eyes never left mine and mine never left his as I slowly stood up, Dylan’s hand sliding off my thigh. I tried to hold back my smile at the same time that I turned towards the direction of the bathroom and headed for it, my hips swaying for the eyes I knew were staring at me.

Once I reached the inside of the ladies room, I immediately went to work. Pulling my tight blouse down to expose more of my swollen chest, thankful for the amazing push-up bra I’d decided to wear last minute, followed by pushing my skirt up to show off my toned thighs. Digging into my pocket, I grabbed my red lipstick and mascara. I applied both of them with skilfully and took a satisfied look in the mirror.

With confidence flowing through my body, I walked back to my table noticing an extra drink sitting with the others. Dylan’s eyes widened at me as I came into his sight and I smiled at him, returning to my seat beside him. He scanned my entire body and I could see his tongue peek out of his lips to lick them, making me feel even sexier. I reached my hand to grab the drink that was on the table and lifted it to him.

“Thanks for the drink, Dylan.” I smiled, taking a sip of the fruity, but laced with vodka, beverage.

“What?!” Dylan exclaimed, snapping out of his trance on my body to flicker his attention on the glass in my hands. “I-I didn't order you a drink.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused, as I put it back down on the table. “Who else could have...?”

An invisible light bulb had clicked over the both of our heads as Dylan and I shared wide-eyed glances before quickly turned our heads to the cute guy. He was already staring at us, well me, with a smug smirk plaguing his face. I felt the blush painting my cheeks as he raised his bottle of beer to me, my fingers instinctively pushing loose hair behind my ear. Just when I thought I couldn't be more nervous, the handsome stranger stood from his seat and began approaching our table.

“Oh, my God.” I freaked out, giddily turning to Dylan. “Quick, how do I look?”

My best friend gave me a once over with his eyes and then looked over at the nearing man with an indescribable emotion pooling inside of his now dark pupils. “Great.”

He said it as if he was referring to the arrival of the guy more than answering my question. Before I could respond or ask him why he was suddenly acting so weird, the guy who bought me the drink had finally reached our table and stood in front of me with a sexy smile on his face. Seeing him this close made me realize he was much more beautiful than I initially thought.

“Mind if I take a seat?” He asked, voice low and gruffly.

“Actually we do-” Dylan started, but I cut him off with a pointed look.

“We DO NOT mind at all.” I smiled patting the chair next to me.

He took the seat graciously, plopping down and scooting closer to me as he wrapped his arm around the back of my chair. His hair was an ashy brown colour that made his blue eyes sparkle. This guy was handsome and I wanted to feel those handsome hands all over my body. I smiled at him, turning slightly to face him better.

“So, what's a guy like you doing in a place like this?” I asked, biting down on my lip softly.

He chuckled, taking a sip of his beer before answering. “Looking for a girl like you.”

I giggled, tucking the fallen hair from my face behind my ear. I heard a scoff behind me and glanced over my shoulder just in time to see Dylan rolling his eyes. I frowned at him, praying this guy hadn't noticed.

“By the way,” I felt the cute stranger's lips skating lightly over my ear, making goosebumps erupt all over my skin. “That lipstick is a nice touch, makes your lips look so beautifully plump.”

Another round of giggles erupted from my mouth as a huge smile grew across my lips. But, both were halted by another pair of lips next to my other ear.

“My cock made your lips pretty plump too.” I swallowed thickly at my best friend's words, remembering the recent encounter I had with his cock. I could feel my cheeks flushing and I hissed at Dylan to stop it.

“God, you're gorgeous when you blush.” The cute guy hummed, turning my head to face him by my chin. I melted at his touch, hypnotised by it.

“You flushed just like that when I was pounding into you, too.”

The first thing that came to my mind, other than the flashing images of Dylan moaning and grunting as he fucked me hard against his couch, was the need to shut my best friend up. I didn’t understand why he was suddenly bringing back those events considering we haven’t even talked about them since it happened. It made me mad that he chose to right when I was flirting with another guy. It didn’t make any sense. Why now? Why not when we were alone and had all the time in the world to talk?

“So, did you like the drink?” The stranger asked and I nodded, not trusting my voice quite yet. “Oh, good. It’s one of my favorites because of how damn sweet it tastes.”

I knew it was coming, but I didn’t have enough strength to push him away as Dylan whispered into my ear yet again. His warm breath fanning across my skin and making goosebumps completely cover its surface.

“I can think of something else that tastes really fucking sweet.” He huffed and it took everything I had not to moan right then and there.

“By the way, what’s your name beautiful?” The man asked and I pressed my thighs together to settle the growing ache in them.

“The same one I kept moaning over and over again. The same one that rolled off my tongue as hers worked around my cock. The same one that-”

“Would you like to get me a bottle of water, Dyl?” I asked suddenly, interrupting whatever sentence he had put together to keep me from doing something I’d regret.

“Water?” He teased, his eyebrows quirking as he smirked. “Why? Are you thirsty?”

“Here.” I chose to ignore him, but my body certainly didn’t as it shuddered immediately, and reach for my purse to give him the necessary cash.

“No, no.” The cute guy extended his hand to stop me as he shook his head with a smile. “It’s on me, please.”

“Thank you.” I smiled back at him and let him hand Dylan a few bills to buy me water, my best friend scowling in reaction.

“Excuse me.” He spoke politely before he left without taking the money, his tone completely flooded with venom.

I watched as he left the table without another word, his back towards us and it didn’t feel right. My stomach flipped at the sight of him walking away and I desperately wanted my best friend back here, no longer as interested in the cute stranger as I was before. But, he didn’t seem to notice because he was already turning back to me and starting another conversation. It took every bit of strength I had to tear my eyes away from Dylan and look back at him. His eyes were kind and his lips held a soft smile so I did what I could to imitate them.

“So, that guy over there…” He started, pointing to the place where Dylan was standing before he left. “Is he your brother or something?”

“Uh, no.” I cleared my throat. “He’s my best friend actually.”

“Ah, no wonder he’s so angry. ” He nodded, taking a sip of his beer.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Well, I’d be too.” He shrugged. “If I was constantly around a gorgeous woman like you and not allowed to actually touch her.”

With that, the stranger placed his calloused hand on my bare thigh and I slightly jumped. It was warm, but nothing compared to the warmth Dylan’s hand gave off. I looked down at it for a second before gazing back up into his eyes, only to notice they weren’t as soft as before. Now holding so much intensity in them that I didn’t know whether or not I should be turned on or intimidated.

However, the thing about his words was that they were so incredibly wrong. Dylan has touched me and, God, I wanted him to do it again. Because he was lingering in my thoughts, I subconsciously flickered my eyes away from the person currently talking to me to scan them across the room in search of Dylan. The first place I looked at was the bar, assuming he would be there purchasing my water, but he wasn’t. Curiosity seeped into my mind as I continued searching when I, suddenly, found him.

He wasn’t getting me my water like I assumed he would be. He wasn’t walking around just enjoying the music as he waited for me to finish talking to someone new. He wasn’t sitting at the bar watching the baseball game on the TV screen. No, Dylan wasn’t doing any of those things I’d normally expect him to do. Instead, he was on the dance floor grossly grinding up against an unknown girl with his eyes boring directly into mine… and the sight made my stomach drop.  

I'm not sure what my face looked like, but I could only imagine it was exactly the reaction he was hoping for. The wicked smile that stretched across his face was challenging. He dipped his head into the crook of the random girl's neck as I watch him, sliding his hand down her front. I wasn't sure if the heat that filled my face was from anger or embarrassment. He was completely doing this on purpose and did little to hide that.

I was seething as I turned back to the random guy, who I think at some point said his name was Ben. I scooted in closer to him, until our chairs were virtually touching, and crossed my arm under my chest pushing up my breasts. Ben took notice immediately, stammering mid sentence before making several attempts in continuing on, all the while his eyes glued to them. I laughed suddenly, not sure if what he said was even funny, placing my hand on his arm and stroking it lightly.

Ben gave me a look, but shrugged it off before yet again continuing on about himself. Stealthily, I glanced over at Dylan who'd already upped the ante by grabbing the girl by the waist and pressing her against him as he gyrated his hips into her. The girl wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling his head down towards her. Somehow that sly asshole was able to maintain pristine eye contact with me. Not forgetting to add an infamous cheeky smile.

I'd had it at that point. He was playing a deadly game that I refused to lose.  I returned my focus back onto Ben, who impressively had not stop talking about himself, and grabbed a handful of his shirt. There was only one way to win this war and if Dylan wanted to play dirty, so be it. Without warning, I pulled Ben forward until our lips met; my eyes trained on Dylan's. His face had fallen from the cocky smirk to a dumbfounded expression. He'd all but stopped dancing with the girl to watch as I opened my mouth slightly allowing this random guy to slip his tongue into my mouth.

I barely registered Ben’s lack of skill as I watched Dylan's face turn a deep red, anger practically expelling from his ears. I smirked into my kiss, knowing that I had won. I took my eyes off Dylan for the first time in several minutes and back to Ben who was now trying to guide his hand up into my exposed cleavage. I allowed him to creep up my body, his other hand wrapping itself around my lower back and pushing me closer into him. I threw my arms around his neck to spite Dylan even further even though my victory was already established​. Just as Ben was about to touch me over my shirt, he was suddenly and completely ripped away from my body.

With shock coursing through me, I looked up to see a fuming Dylan with his hand tight on the back of Ben’s shirt before tearing him out of the chair and tossing him to the floor. The stranger immediately groaned as a complaint, but Dylan's full attention was on me. My eyes were wide as they noticed his extremely dark and furious ones. The rage coming off of him was so strong, I felt nervous around him for the first time.

“What the fuck, man?!” Ben, suddenly, shouted. Quickly standing up from the floor and just as angry as Dylan. “What the hell do you think you're doing?!”

“I think I’m taking my girl back and leaving.” He simply answered, not bothering to even look at Ben.

“Your girl?” He scoffed. “The same one that was just shoving her tongue down my throat a few seconds ago?”

“Actually, you were the one that put the tongue in our kiss.” I pointed out, lifting my finger to wipe off the smudged lipstick on my face.

“No.” Dylan spoke up, responding Ben’s question and ignoring my comment. “The same girl that was shoving her bare ass in the air for me to fuck.”

If adrenaline wasn't already coursing through my veins, it certainly was now. My best friend extended his hand to me and I slipped mine into his, letting him pull me out of the chair. Ben’s tension-filled glare was staring the both of us down but being the polite woman I was, I slowly turned to him with a forced smile.

“Thank you for the drink.” I stated, feeling Dylan take his hand out of mine to wrap his arm around my waist in a protective manner. “I really appreciate it. It was nice meeting you.”

“W-Wait, what?” Ben shook his head in disbelief. “You’re leaving with him?! Baby, you’re really making the wrong choice here. I know I can treat you better than he can.”

“Goodbye, Ben.” I replied, noticing Dylan’s hand grip tighter into my waist.

“No, no goodbyes.” He refused, taking a step towards us and Dylan growling lowly. “Come back to my place with me. I can fuck you better than he can. I mean, look at him with that stupid baseball hat! He’s a Met’s fan! He’s just meant to be pathetic.”

“You little-” Dylan started to fight, but I simply placed a hand on his chest to stop his actions.

“Dyl, can you give me your wallet?” I asked, never taking my challenging eyes off of Ben.

Without saying anything, but as confused as ever, Dylan reached into the back pocket of his khakis and took out his wallet. Once I had it in my hands, I opened it up and grabbed the condom every guy always keeps just in case.

“Here.” I handed Ben the condom and his eyes raised in suspicion.

“Are you giving this for me to use on you?” He teased and I didn't even try to hide the laugh erupting from my chest.

“Absolutely not, it’s for you to put on your head. Since you're acting like such a dick, you might as well start dressing like one.”

And with that, I pulled a snickering Dylan out of the bar as we left a very shocked and angry Ben long behind.

The car ride back to Dylan's place was filled with unknown silence. The unknown part being I didn't know where his head was at. Dylan seemed in light spirits when we left the bar but now that we had this extended drive, the tension crept in like toxic gas. Although, I could have been imagining that. The occasional glances that I stole at him did little to calm my nerves. His expression was hard in nature, but not necessarily angry. But there was no real way of telling.

We stomped our way up the landings, reaching his floor and turning into his doorway. He jingled his keys around finding his house key, before pushing it into the lock and turning. The deadbolt made a loud clicking noise and he pushed opened the door, letting it swing open. He didn't move, gesturing with his arm for me to go in first. His face was still emotionless as I passed him and he barely even looked at me.

This was a different side of my best friend I hadn't seen before. I'd seen Dylan be many things before: mad, upset, anxiety ridden, but this was new territory for me and I didn't know what to think— let alone react. I tried to prepare myself for anything so when I heard the door close behind me, I tensed up waiting for whatever was coming.

I couldn't even find the courage in me to turn around and look at him as I felt Dylan take agonizingly slow steps towards me. The entire living room was silent apart from my heavy breathing that I didn't even know was occurring until this exact moment. Goosebumps rose on my skin and my entire body shivered the second Dylan's slim fingers lightly slid up my arm, leaving sparks in its wake. His own body pressed against mine, butterflies violently flying around in my stomach when he pushed my hair behind my neck and leaned his mouth towards my ear. His tempting lips brushing against it.

“Babe,” He began, his warm breath sending shivers on my neck. “Did you really think getting me jealous was a good idea?”

I nodded, not really knowing if the question was rhetorical but answering anyway. I couldn't help biting down on my lip when Dylan gently placed his on my skin and puckered it with a lingering kiss. I could feel the prickling of his light stubble on me and it felt insanely good.

“Hmm, well you shouldn't have.” He hummed, planting kisses on my neck in between sentences. “Do you want to know why?”

I nodded again and was surprised Dylan allowed me to answer a question like that for the second time in a row without forcing me to verbally respond.

“Because you’re seriously gonna regret it.” He stated, abruptly turning me around and shoving me up against the nearest wall. A few picture frames of his family that were hung up instantly fell down.

Lust immediately crashed down on me as I stared into his dark dilated pupils. Even though he was the one who started our little jealousy war, my curiosity was spiked in seeing Dylan's dominant side. The need to correct him was dimmed by my need to see what he was truly capable of. I allowed him to grab my wrists with one hand, lifting them over my head and pressing them flat against the wall. His hands were rough, squeezing tight on my wrists and I could only imagine the bruises I would have in the morning. But, there wasn't a single bone in my body that actually cared.

“You see these beautiful tits right here?” Dylan questioned, trailing his free hand up my stomach until it reached my breasts and squeezing one of them. “They’re both mine.”

I whimpered at his touch, but he just continued without acknowledging it. He moved his hand back down towards my core, pushing past the waistband of both my skirt and the elastic of my panties.

“You see this delicious pussy?” He asked, swiping his fingers along my folds, pulling a moan from my mouth. My panties getting increasingly more wet by the second. He swirled his digits over my clit, collecting some of my juices before pulling his hand back out of my bottoms. He slipped his finger into his mouth, savouring me with a content hum. “Also mine.”

“But, most importantly.” He growled, taking his finger out of his mouth. “These beautiful, plump lips of yours?” He leaned in close to me, his eyes flashing from my lips then back up again. He grabbed a hold of my chin, slowly caressed the bottom of my lip with his thumb. “No one will ever touch them because these lips belong to me.”

His lips crashed down on mine, hard and rough. My own lips maneuvered with his, as I struggled to move underneath his grip on my hands. I wanted desperately to touch him, to pull as close as our bodies would allow. Dylan and I were kissing, I was kissing my best friend. My head kept screaming that it was wrong, that I should stop. But his tongue made me delirious, lulling me softly into an electrifying bliss that I prayed never stopped.

He began kissing along my jaw and down my neck, pulling a deep ache from within my core. His mouth was delectable, smoothing over my skin.

“Let me touch you.” I panted breathlessly, attempting again to move my hands.

Dylan chuckled, his grip tightening ever so slightly. “Not a chance.”

He ran his tongue down my neck, before blowing softly down the wet line he'd just made. I shivered, a small whimper almost leaving my lips before I stopped myself. Dylan moved his head to look at me, raising his brows with a slight smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. I drew one back at him challengingly, knowing the sounds I made are what Dylan craved most. From our last intimate encounter, he seemed to thrive off them; sometimes fucking me harder or moving his irresistible tongue faster to force more out of me.

He went back to work on my neck, this time nibbling on the skin there. I squeezed my eyes tight, trying to repel the spell that he was slowly putting on me. The nibbling quickly turned to sucking and there's nothing I wanted more in that moment than to cry out. His teeth sinking into me, left my thighs soaked from my own juices. I tried rubbing them together to settle the ache in between them, but Dylan suddenly shoved his leg in the middle and purposely kept them apart.

“I’m gonna need you to moan if you want any relief.” Dylan teased with another chuckle and I desperately wanted to yell at him. But, at the same time, I wanted to see just how far my best friend could go.

“I’m gonna need you to give me relief if you want any moans.” I challenged right back and he stopped biting to look me straight in the face with an impressed expression.

“What was that?” He questioned, giving me the chance to take back my retort.

“Simple.” I shrugged, choosing to keep my disobedience. “I’m gonna need you to touch me already, Dyl.”

“Oh, so you think you’re the one in charge here?” Dylan confronted, forcefully pushing his body closer to me. “I think you’re forgetting who you’re talking to.”

“And who am I talking to?” I scoffed, rolling my eyes playfully.

“The man who’s about to fuck you so hard and so rough, you’re going to be a shaking and crying mess begging me to stop in no time. But, guess what princess?” He questioned, his lips brushing against mine as he spoke. “I won’t stop until I’m satisfied.”

Before I could even protest or realize that I secretly loved his seductive threats, Dylan abruptly turned my body around and forced me back into the wall. He released his grip on my wrists but not without warning me to avoid removing its position unless I wanted to be punished and, as tempting as it sounded, I decided I’d follow his demands. My best friend’s hands raced down my arms and hips prior to landing on my short skirt and tearing it down my legs. The material pooled at my feet and he allowed me to kick them off before suddenly squeezing my ass with his rough hands. I tried to hold back my whimper, but failed when a small sound escaped my throat and Dylan chuckled darkly.

“Having a hard time hiding there?” He teased into my ear.

“Fuck. You.” I grunted, nudging him backwards by pushing out my ass slightly.

He chuckled, pushing himself against me before placing his hands on my hips. He rubbed them enticingly, as he slipped them down my front and brushed his hands over my panties. I shivered, it was becoming increasingly harder to not just let the impure sounds I was holding back out. I felt his stubble raking along my shoulder before his lips pressed against me. My whole body was brightened by his touch, but it was set on fire by his finger pressing into my panties against my clit.

I could feel my whole body shaking as my nail dug into the wall. I gasped, swallowing it immediately. Dylan smiled against my skin, knowing he’s winning. I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, promising myself I wouldn’t make another noise again. I could resist him, I could win this.

“Oh baby, you're so wet.” His warm breath washing over me as he spoke.

I couldn't even respond, his fingers already circling around my clad bundle of nerves. My breathing was picking up, my eyes shut tight, and my will slowly dissipating. The whines and mewls I was forcing back were fighting their way out and I didn't have the will to stop them. This proved even more true when Dylan threw caution to the wind, snaking his hands inside my panties and making complete unrestricted contact with my clit. I cried out instantly and it honestly felt so good.

“That's my girl.” He growled, working his fingers quicker than before.

I relented as a fire began licking in my belly. His mouth moved along my neck and onto my shoulder going back and forth while his finger flicked vigorously at my clit. I let every vulgar moan I’d been holding back out, not caring who heard. And Dylan would sometimes moan himself in reaction to mine and the hums from his voice would vibrate throughout my entire body, only waking the fire even further.

I opened my legs more for him and he took the new angle as an opportunity to push a slim finger into my entrance, his thumb taking over the tempting position on my clit. My cheek was flat against the wall and I allowed Dylan to give me all of the pleasure he damn pleased. His other hand moved up to my blouse and ripped it apart completely, my mind too focused on the delicious movements of his pumping finger to really care.

“Lower your hands to your sides.” Dylan commanded, his voice raspy.

I did exactly as he instructed and bit down on my lip when he took off my shirt than unclasped my bra, allowing it to slip down my arms. There was always something extremely sexy and exciting about being entirely vulnerable with someone as you stand in front of them completely naked and this time was no different. Dylan’s free hand was already squeezing and kneading my breast as the other increased its finger’s pace inside of me. He returned his kisses on my heated and tingling neck, the different sources of pleasure overwhelming me. I was well aware I wouldn’t be lasting very long before falling off the edge for the first time in long time with Dylan and it made me think about our last encounter. If Dylan was able to make me cum three times without even really trying last time, I wonder how many orgasms he’ll be giving me this time. His words from earlier suddenly hit me and repeatedly rung in my ears, my body not knowing if it should be concerned or ready for him.

I won’t stop until I’m satisfied.

At that exact moment, Dylan added another finger into my cunt and the second he pressed his tips against my tight walls, I was a lost woman. Every single joint in my body stiffened but he didn’t dare stop his assaults there, only making my orgasm even more powerful. The throaty moan that fell from my dry throat was precisely what Dylan lusted to hear this entire time as a river of pleasure within a strong fire flooded every single cell, tissue, vein, and surface of skin throughout my body. To come back down from my first high of the night was an actual bummer since I already craved more, but by the insatiable look on Dylan’s face seen from the corner of my eye— I could tell many more would soon be coming.

He pulled his hand out of me, setting each one of his fingers in his mouth and sucking every last drop of cum on them. I almost came again at the sight, his mouth was so fucking beautiful and all I wanted was it calling out my name. Completely out of breath, I turned around to face him. He had just finished pulling the second finger out of his mouth and smirked at me. I squeezed my thighs together to settle the ache that was forming there once again. Dylan's eyes roamed over my naked body, following every curve of me.

Normally I would have been self conscious, but I was doing the same thing. My eyes traveled over his clothed body, recalling from memory what it looked like underneath all that material. When I got to his belt, my mouth went dry. I instantly recalled vividly his length and what he felt like in mouth. I bit down hard on my lip, containing the whimper I almost let out. I wanted to taste him again. I wanted that bitter salty taste of his precum on my tongue.

I was lowering myself to my knees before I realized what I was doing. I felt his eyes on me, watching as I unlooped his belt out of the buckle and began unbuttoning his khakis. He sighed, when I pulled down his zipper. His cock being freed just a little from its confinements. I sunk my fingers into his pants and pulled them off of his hips until they pooled at his feet, his belt clanking against the hardwood floor. I looked up at him before touching his boxers, his eyes were dark and his mouth was in a perfect O shape. I flashed him a small smile, before pulling down his boxers too.

He growled as my smooth hands ran lightly along his dick, down to his balls and back. He felt so good in my hands, stiff and long, making my core wetter. He didn't rush me, even though I knew he was as eager as I was to have him in my mouth. I wrapped my hand around his shaft, slowly stroking him. Another luscious sigh tumbled from his mouth as I began my torturous motion on him. He held his shirt up with one hand, while the other found its way into my hair. He pulled lightly on my roots as I smoothed my finger over his slit where some precum had accumulated.

“Let me feel that throat already.” He almost whined.

I smiled as I opened and guided him into my mouth. His grip on my hair tightened​ as he groaned a beautiful noise. I closed my mouth around him and hollowed my cheeks, rewarded with another one. Neither sound compared to the one he let out when I began moving. It produced goosebumps all along my naked body, his eyes screwed shut and his teeth clamped down on his bottom lip. It wasn't long before I felt him moving to his own rhythm into my mouth and I let him take over, grabbing onto his thighs for balance.

He guided my head as his hips thrusted forward into my mouth. He was going deep, tapping further and further into my throat as he went. The few times I gagged around him, he let out the most carnal moan anyone could ever make. I hummed every time I heard him swear, the profanities only further confirming my suspicions, he may be fucking my mouth but I was fucking him up. It was seconds later that I felt his cock twitch and I knew he was close. Too close apparently, because right after that he pulled out, breathing heavily. His hands were still in my hair, holding me away from him as he stared down at me with lustful eyes.

“Oh, no you fucking don’t.” He said, his voice gravelly in nature. “I'm in fucking control.”

He kicked off his khakis and boxers and in one swift motion scooped me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I squealed with laughter as he walked me across the room until we reached the couch and he set me down on the back of it. I balanced my ass on the edge as Dylan leaned in close to me. His eyes ran over my face, paying special attention to my lips. I too leaned in, hoping to catch his lips with mine. But as soon as I did, he pulled back slightly, a smile spreading on his face.

“Who's in charge, baby?” He teased, closing in on me again. His lips ghosting over mine.

“You are.” I whispered, closing my eyes expectantly.

He chuckled and I could feel his open mouth almost over mine as he did. But instead of the kiss I was awaiting, Dylan pushed me back softly so my head hit the seat cushion of the couch. I frowned as I lie there laying awkwardly upside. My face was met with a hard cock and I looked up too see Dylan standing over me. He had the usual cocky grin on his face, but this time adding to his dark pupils was a hint of mischief. I furrowed my brows at him, wondering what he had in store for me this time.

He moved past my face, climbing on the couch and positioning his in front of my sex. I couldn't see what he was doing, but my pussy and I both knew that we were in for it. When his tongue slid across my clit, I couldn't help but cry out. I was still so sensitive and even a soft swipe of his tongue could have me falling apart in seconds. I tried pressing my legs together but he pushed my legs open, forcing to endure the assault his tongue was about to place on me.

“Open your mouth.” He ordered, the command taking me by surprise.

Nervous about the possible punishment I could receive if I went against him, I did as he commanded and opened my mouth. Just as my body shuddered when his lips wrapped around my clit and gently sucked, Dylan pushed his cock into my mouth. I immediately moaned in reaction and he whimpered at the feeling of the vibrations around him. Last time we had sex, Dylan surprised me with his impressive stamina and this time he’s surprising me with how damn kinky he actually is. Never in my life would I have imagined that my best friend was into the 69 position, but here we are doing it. I hadn’t tried it before this moment but as we both pleasure each other with our mouths at the same time, I realize it’s already one of my new favorites.

As his lips sucked my clit, the sharp edge of his tongue would flicker my nub which made it increasingly hard to stay focused on giving him his share of pleasure. I was thankful that I didn’t need to bob my head since Dylan chose to fuck my mouth instead, but I did have to keep a certain pace as I massaged his balls. Soon enough, he was a moaning mess against my heat as well.

My hands flew up to his thighs for stability and I didn’t mind the uncomfortable feeling of his tip hitting the back of my throat making me gag. I welcomed it just to be able to hear the way his throat constantly moaned and growled. I, myself, couldn’t hold back the way he made my body feel. His slim finger was back into the game, quickly pumping in and out of me. The both of us were messes in each other’s hands and in a matter of minutes, our bodies couldn’t take it anymore.

He was the first to cum, his twitching cock shooting his hot load down my throat. The salty taste dancing in my palate before my own release arrived. A shameless mewl escaped my throat as my entire body shook with my orgasm.

The only sound that was heard in the empty room was the panting and hard breathing our chests made at the same time that we slowly relaxed again. Dylan pulled his sex out of my mouth and I winced when he took his mouth away from mine. He licked all of my juices off of his lips, standing back up in front of me. I watched him take off his shirt, my body still hazy, before he kneeled down. With a sly smirk on his face, Dylan leaned down and kissed me deeply.

“You can handle more, right?” He breathed and I almost didn’t believe his question.

“What?!” I exclaimed. “Dyl, you can’t be serious!”

Dylan grabbed my thighs and brought my legs down to the couch, now laying my body flat out on the seat. He hovered over me, his face only inches from mine.

“I know you can, babe.” He encouraged. “Just one more, okay?”

“O-Okay.” I nodded, my voice unstable. I was unbelievably overwhelmed already as it is, but I also knew that I could handle just one more for him. For my best friend, Dylan.

He smiled at my response and brought his hand down to his shaft quickly pumping before attaching his lips to my breasts. Even though I had no strength, my own hands flew up and tossed his Mets’ hat to the side so I could run my fingers through his soft hair. I tried pulling his head up towards me, but he was too focused on biting my nipple to notice.

“Dylan,” I called and he hummed in response. “Kiss me.”

His eyes instantly snapped up to look at me and, without another sound, Dylan removed his lips from my breast to attach them to my own in a passionate kiss. He slightly moaned into my mouth, taking his hand off of his erection. Dylan positioned himself in front of my entrance before pushing in, both of us groaning at the delicious feeling.

He continued to kiss me as he slowly drove into me over and over. I wrapped my arm around his neck, pushing him down further to meet me. Our tongues rolled over each other sloppily, but fuck it was intense. His thick cock filled me beautifully, pulling almost pornographic moans out of me that Dylan swallowed. My skin began heating up and the spring in my lower abdomen began winding. I was going to come again, I knew it and I pulled out of the kiss trying to catch my breath.

“You gonna cum already, beautiful?” He teased, feeling my walls close in around him.

I could barely answer him as I felt him moving in me, his hisses and grunts mixing with my whimpers and moans laced with the slow but relentless smacking of skin on skin blended to create a hypnotic symphony of sounds that alone could make me orgasm. Although that was tempting, it was Dylan's lips meeting mine again that sent me over. I was writhing under him as my walls tightened, my vision spotting from the overwhelming feeling my climax had over me.

He never stopped, not for one second. His thrusts were constantly coming down on me even after my pleasure had ended. I was weak, my body exhausted from the amount of coming it had done today. I barely comprehended his lips were on mine still until he pulled away. He pulled himself up fully, holding on to the arm rest above my head for leverage as he stared down at my body greedily.

My whole body was sensitive, the feeling of his cock inside almost too much as it was, but just as I was about to tell him I really couldn't take anymore, something happened. That familiar feeling of the spring inside me coiling again, burning in my belly. Suddenly, nothing was too sensitive anymore, it only fueled my body.

“One more?” Dylan grunted, moving his hand swiftly to my hips.

“One. Fucking. More.” I cried.

He ceased his slow demeanour and began picking up the pace. His hips slamming into mine as he drove deep into me, lending me little mercy. At times I could feel my body screaming from the over stimulation, but it was that same feeling that was pushing me harder and harder to cum.  

“Dylan.” I whined in warning.

He revelled in me calling out his name, squeezing my hips tighter with his eyes snapped shut and his head thrown backwards. He looked in complete euphoria, like he'd fuck me for the rest of his life if he could just because he loved how I felt around him.

“Will you swallow my cum?” He groaned, the request sending a new bolt of electricity through my body.

“Make me cum first and you can put yours wherever you want.” I mewled, already feeling the spring ready to snap.

“Fuck.” He swore, grabbing a fist full of my hair.

He bent down slightly, before pulling me forward to meet him until our foreheads touched. The new angle was rousing, making me cry out. Dylan's breath blew in my face, intoxicating me. And all these sensations mixed to finally send me flying over the edge, screaming. Dylan crashed his lips down on mine as I jerked and thrashed under him, my final orgasm of the night pulling every last ounce of energy I had left.

My body went limp fractionally and Dylan pulled back releasing the hold on my lips. “Let me see that mouth, I'm gonna cum.”

He pulled out of me quickly, positioning himself to the level of my mouth as I opened it and the strings of white hot cum poured into my mouth. My eyes fluttered shut as I took in the whole load, savouring the salty sweet taste of him. He let out the most lewd sounds as he pumped the last of his cum into my mouth.

Dylan and I sat staring at a blank TV screen a few minutes later. He'd since redressed himself, now clad in his boxers and graciously given me his previously discarded shirt to cover myself with. The silence wasn’t exactly awkward, but it wasn’t peaceful either. Dylan and I had just fucked… again and this time it couldn't be passed off as two friends that were a little too high. This time was different.

If it weren't for the exhaustion, I would be trying to piece it all together in an attempt to figure it out. But, I was just fucked to the point that every inch on my body was buzzing and I couldn't be bothered. So, there we sat saying nothing.

It went on like this until Dylan decided to break the silence. “We have to like date now, don't we?”

I laughed despite myself, wondering what on earth had given him that idea.

“Dylan, what?” I turned my head to smile at him.

“Well we fucked once and it was fine, like it was a fluke that would never happen again. But then at the bar when I saw you with that guy, something came over me. Like, I wanted to pound his face in for even looking at what's mine.”

The confession was so abrupt, I didn't have an adequate response for it. I couldn’t deny that I was jealous too at the bar, seeing him with another girl made me angry on another level. But, rushing into an actual real relationship seemed far too drastic.

“Or,” I suggested catching his attention. He looked over at me, eyes full of curiosity. “We could be best friends.”

“But, we are best friends.” He countered.

“Yes, so why change that?”

He considered this, mulling the idea over thoughtfully. “But, what if we fuck again?”

“Then we fuck again.” I shrugged, a smile peeking at my lips at the thought.

“What if I— or we get jealous?”

“So, we get jealous. I don't see the need to complicate things. We fuck, we get high, we hang out.” I told him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. “We're best friends.”

“Best friends.” He agreed, pulling me in for a hug. I returned it, wrapping my arms around him and relaxing.

We pulled away, both of us slouching back into the couch. The atmosphere had all but cleared of the previous tension and it was just him and I again. He leaned over to the end table, fumbling around with something before returning with a joint between his fingers. He raised it up to me as an offering and I smiled giving him a small nodd. He lit it, taking in a puff for himself before passing it over to me. I took it gladly, settling into the cushions as he clicked on the TV. My entire mind and body relaxed as I placed the blunt in between my lips and inhaled its deliciously intoxicating fumes, the TV screen playing colorful cartoons in front of Dylan and I.