#trying to provide for his thin man

[grim-faux]

X6 _ The Fiercest Hunter

First _ A Small Quiet

It was one of those sort of times. The rain of the Pale City wasn’t falling heavily as it did other times, but the steady dripping and plopping pellets and the sound of water plinking gave the city a sort of mood. It wasn’t that hard to see through the roads and endless city blocks stretching forever, but that could be part of the problem too. The pods of Viewers had gone elsewhere, and their eerie presence wasn’t missed, but somehow the sound of rain made the city feel that much more expansive and empty. A forever realm of winding streets, dark hallways, and rooms upon rooms that went nowhere.

What other way would the city be?

Viewers used to clustered into narrow alleys to watch the televisions. Most times they barreled into whatever was in their way, usually getting caught inside buildings after slamming into a wall enough times. Either they collapsed from crushing the face in (more than it already was), or they found and opening and tumbled into the rooms. If enough stampeded around, they could bulldoze a brick wall.

Mono aimed his eyes towards the mist swirling above the highest skyrises. The falling rain obscured the clouds and it made him feel like if he got high enough, he might be able to walk upside down on the mist. Or maybe, there was a world above the mist, and it was solid enough he could wander on it safe from the icy roads he scurried through.

That was a silly thought. He gave his coat and hat a shake, casting off some of the swollen droplets sagging on the edges. He had a lot to do before going back to the alley, and he shouldn’t leave the Thin Man alone for too long.

Wandering along the broken concrete, he evaded the heaps of ruble from the building face high above and the sogging mounds of garbage. He couldn’t find a way through the wall on this side, but if he got to a clear spot maybe the Thin Man could teleport there and find an opening. The Thin Man didn’t need a lot of help finding his way around, he went wherever he wanted. Mono just made everything was safe and no monsters lurked.

A Viewer crashed into the pavement just as he was crawling out from under a slab of cement. It startled Mono into shuffling backwards on his toes and hands, a tinge of static bristled in his spine. Or that was the frigid water sploshing his whole body.

He huddled there for a while, shaking and feeling more soaked than sitting in the drilling rain during the worst storms. The Viewer clicked and gurgled, one arm bent at an unsettling angle beneath its hip, and it was knotted like a bedsheet rope. One eye in the folds of its malformed face glared at him, it had a strange red tint in it.

Carefully, he shuffled around the inert body and stayed far out of the other arms range. The Viewer was quiet and unnaturally still, but it was stupid to be careless. Once he was safe enough away from it, he did pick up a rock and chucked that at the body. Still nothing. Good.

The middle of the road was splint by a narrow crack, it wasn’t large or a problem even without a teleport. He lunged to the other side and hurried over to a short set of steps leading up to a door. Unlike the other side, most doors and stairs stayed intact and the brick was solid. He climbed up one set of steps and pulled a crate over. Unsurprising the door was locked, the base was rotted and panels frayed away, but a bunch of ruble had been crammed into the opening.

It was the same with the other stairways and doors. If he found an unlocked door and entered, he was met with too much clutter for safe navigation. He didn’t want to get trapped, and worst he didn’t want to get separated from the Thin Man again.

He worried about the Thin Man and waiting in the alley, doing nothing. When Mono returned from a scout, he might poke his hat – mushing it onto his head – stare at Mono and say nothing, except eat smoke. If he tugged on the man in the hat, he brushed him away. No speek. Just scooting Mono away, or not looking at him. It was making Mono more anxious. Did the Thin Man stop? Was no move? Like cold children?

Some children never laid down for stop. They could sit upright forever, even when the last traces of light faded from their eyes. All kids knew not to bother children that stopped. If children couldn’t move, then they stayed where they were.

With the creeping alarm chasing him, Mono returned to the place he left his Thin Man. At least a chain-link fenced kept stuff from wandering on this side. It was easy for Mono to slip through the narrow opening on the floor, and race to the place where the man and his hat waited.

He rushed to the Thin Man’s side and grabbed onto the tail end of his suit jacket. High above, a thread of smoke wound away from the tip of his burn stick. That didn’t mean anything, he saw the stick swirl its wispy white enough times while it sat abandoned on a table (he knew better than to chew on the burning ones). He couldn’t find the dark eyes in the shadow of the hat, and the face didn’t twitch. He tugged harder on the suit, grumbling at the man and his hat.

“Hey. Psst.”

At least a hand did move to nudge him away. No speek. Just move him.

“You.” He snagged the hand by the wrist and held on with every fiber of is being. The static buzzed through his bones, he wasn’t sure if that was how it always was or if the Thin Man was angry at him again. “Am have. Go. C’mon.” The hand lifted and shook him like he was oozing mud that wouldn’t drip off. “Up. Y’up.”

The air coughed out of him when the other hand latched onto his waist. He kicked his legs and wriggled, but couldn’t squirm away. Even his mighty arms failed to anchor him when the fingers applied pressure, and with a firm tug he was snapped off. He was prepared for another wriggle match, but the hand popped open and his feet pads slammed to the concrete.

This time he sprang over to the man and his hat, shoving at his hip. “Hey. Okay?” He stared up at the Thin Man, but nothing was offered to him. The tallest monster in all the city simply tucked his arms over his middle and stayed put. Like a pouty child. Mono would be infuriated, if he wasn’t so conflicted about this state.

He did his best to comfort his Thin Man. He reminded him how important he was, how Mono would protect. He made sure to tell him that he was Mono, and he was the best child that looked at him and kept. He tugged on the crisp jacket, or pushed his face into his side. Sometimes he reached up to the hand draped over the Thin Man’s middle and pet his fingers. No biting. His Thin Man needed so much reassurance.

But again, the hand brushed him away.

He tumbled backwards and fell flat on his back. Rather launch back into his efforts, he sat up and stared at the tall figure hunched over. These moods usually passed like nothing, but they didn’t last like this.

Before leaving his Thin Man, he inched over to his hand and patted his fingers. “Am scout. Shhh.”

No reaction. Nothing.

They came from the other direction of the alley, the ground wrecked by cracks and splints that tore through the cement and made the high buildings arch sharply. It was quiet with the dome wilted above, only a few fat drops slapped onto carboard shelters built by travelers and other rubbish cast from the windows. His feet swatting against layered papers sounded so forlorn. No noise but the prattling rain, no televisions chattering with the scrambled images flashing knives or big water. Just lonely rain, his soft steps, and the walls stretched around him.

Some of the cracks he could climb down into, rain water collected in the bottom and sloshed around his knees as he wandered. It was stifling and even colder with the gravelly walls glaring back at him, sometimes he was slipping among the narrow crevices to keep going and find a space where he could climb up. The water stung when it hit him, maybe loaded with grit from the sides. Pebbles and chunks of rocks would plunge into the water – one smacked into his hat, but the cushion protected him from any serious harm. It reminded him to be alert, even if monsters could find him down here he could still get buried by whatever was up above.

In one of the under channels he was crawling through, fierce splashing made him flinch back and wait. In the gloom, he couldn’t see anything and definitely not anything crashing into the shining surface of the water. The water rolled and frothed for a bit, then calmed down. Mono held on a bit longer, focus on the walls and possible shifting. When nothing finally happened, he waded forward in the water.

Something smacked against his shin!

At once the water was a foamy mess. He toppled over, and a slimy mass flopped onto his lap. Another beamed him in the shoulder, nearly knocking him out.

It didn’t take him long to realize what the thing was. A fish! A big fish! A lot fish!

Mono caught his hat before it got thrown aside, and fumbled to get onto his feet. This was a challenge with the fish – he didn’t know how many – kept smacking into his knees. Instead of get all the way upright, he lunged at one of the flashing fins sweeping through the waves. Missed! His sleeves gurgled as the water surged up his arms. Without wasting a second, he pounced for another vague shape hurtling through the water. Water gushed up his nostrils as he nearly got the flailing creature pinned, it sent a wave cascading across his face as it bucked beneath the water. The panic sent the other fish into a frenzy, in all the confusion and onslaught he couldn’t bury in fingers into the hard scales. The rapids became too much and he was sent rolling, the fish he had pinned catapulted him out of the water.

He snagged the hat before it could get away and slapped the sodden thing back onto his head. Without pause, he sprang at vague swells on the water. Somehow swinging his arm under the surface, a fish slapped against his palm. He managed to grapple with the powerful tail and haul backwards, at the same time crawling to his feet. This didn’t last long and the aquatic beast wretched from his grip. He tried to reclaim it, but very nearly collided with one side of the jagged wall.

Spearing himself through the water was cumbersome with his coat dragging at his back, or wrapping up around his ankles when he made a sharp twist left or right. He didn’t know where the fish might have come from, but they could easily slip away before he realized with how the water was kicked up. All the thrashing cut at his feet too, bits or rock and granite sliced at his toes as he fought the murk for a hold of some slick body. He cut his knuckles when he jammed his hand down, unaware that a crop of rock was right beneath the surface.

After only a few moments – which felt like ages – at last, he crammed his arms against one of the fish and shoved his entire hand into its gill. Of course the fish wracked its body fighting with getting snared, and having something jammed into it. But Mono locked his arms together and heaved himself up from the water. The arm through the fish gills locked over its snout, and he dug his fingers into the soft lip. His other arm looped under the fins, and with his prize secured he squeezed back under the low cement ceiling he first scooted through.

The fish still fought, beating against his knees with every ounce of its strength. Six would have fought him for it! He managed to keep it locked in his embrace, his splintered nails serving the most vital function by shearing through the soft fish lips. It was not getting away.

He used the fish like a ski board, its body helped him to climb through the narrow gaps he would have had to go over before. This was the best to happy with the dreary rains. He knew the Thin Man would like the fish, everyone liked fish. It was how he showed Her how he was great with sharing and providing.

Climbing up from the depths of a crevice was much trickery than he thought, given he had a massive fish speared on his arm. By unlocking his fingers from its lips, he could mostly use his other arm to pull up and the fish helped keep him from knocking into the jagged rocks with his chest. Climbing down was so much easier. But thinking about sharing with the Thin Man made it all worth it.

He clambered over the edge, adjusting his grip on the fish and holding into the gummy lip. It took more effort to get traction under his feet, he scrambled over plastered flyers practically cemented to the ground. He rushed to crouch and crawl under a pile of crushed furniture and slipped when he tried to break into a run on the other side. Keeping his balance became a struggle with the fish renewing its flopping. He perched on top of his catch until it wore itself out, then resumed his trot. He didn’t get far before the fish went wild, its whole body writhing as he fought to keep his balance while inching across a section of concrete between mounds of garbage.

Somehow! The fish knocked his feet out from under him, they both went down. With all the thrashing and wriggling, the fish tore free of his grip and went skidding across the ground.

On the other side of the trash pile opened another crevice, with crushed furniture dangling over the side. No-No-No! Mono scrambled after his catch, managing to lock his fingers into its fins. It wasn’t enough to overpower the frenzied creature, and the tail walloped him the face in three rapids successions before he relented and leapt away from it. The mean fish went flopping towards the crevice—

And disappeared forever.

Mono was still reeling from the harsh assault on his face, his face buzzing in the worst way, and warm liquid ran down his lips and chin. He rubbed at it and sniffled. That hurt.

Despite how angry he was about the fish being a jerk, he wandered over to the edge and peered down. Nothing was below but darkness. How far did the crack go down? It didn’t matter, he wasn’t going to risk falling into the depths of the city for a terrible fish. He was sure it would’ve tasted like mud.

Giving a hiccup, he swiped the warm wetness off his chin and turned away. Who needed a stupid fish? Not him. He could find better food for the Thin Man – no bird, he didn’t like bird. As he navigated the cavernous trenches of the alley, he wondered about better things. Like what he could find for the Thin Man to cheer him up. He liked the book. But books were heavy, and he didn’t always like the ones Mono could drag around.

But first he needed to check on his Thin Man.

Right where he left him. Like Mono knew he would be. He raced over to the hunched figure and clambered up onto his side, then onto one long arm. The Thin Man began uncoiling, but Mono stumbled onto his chest and grabbed him by the front of his suit seam.

“C’mon. We go. Up. Up.” He held onto the coat when the fingers slipped around his soggy body and tugged. “No. Y’up. Up. We.” With a firm yank, his gunky fingers snapped loose. He growled and wriggled in the hand holding him firmly, not setting him down or doing anything but keeping him up and out of the way. He couldn’t do anything for the Thin Man if he wasn’t allowed to go around and search.

“Down. Down.” He beat at the hand with his fists, not really doing anything. It did make him feel better. He couldn’t lean far enough over to bite. “Want… down. Lemme.” He hissed when the Thin Man pinched his face with his thumb and forefinger. “No. Y’hurt.” It wasn’t really hurting, but he didn’t like his head griped and his thrashing restricted. It was too confining. The Thin Man still wasn’t great with soft.

“What happened here?”

He stopped wriggling and tried to look away from the eyes gleaming beneath the shelter of the hat. A bubbly snort got out of him when he tried to swallow. “Leggo.” He pawed at the fingers, but the Thin Man did whatever he wanted. “Down,” he whimpered.

“How did you manage this?”

Mono ducked his head down when the Thin Man shifted his hand around his shoulder and secured him better, then slipped his other hand beneath his feet. He didn’t mind sitting on his palm, as long as he could tuck his head down and hide his face. In all the excitement for his fish, he didn’t realize he lost another hat. Lost a dumb fish AND another hat.

“Let me see.”

The static buzzed in his ears. Mono didn’t want to look at the Thin Man. He shook his head, while burying himself into his knees. The terrible sounds came out of him, despite his biggest effort to hold them in. What was wrong with the Thin Man? He didn’t bother with anything Mono did to make him happy, unless red marked up his face, or arms. Or anything else Mono was trying to bandage and hide away. The memories brought another rattling sound from his mouth, all smothered by him burrowing into himself. His shoulders wouldn’t stop quivering.

Sure, he fussed over Her. But She was bad about taking care of her hurts. She rather limp around for a long time, before he managed to pounce her and fix a messed up foot.

But Mono was great at wrapping his hurts. He never had anyone that would do that.

“L̶o̸o̵k̶ at  ̵M̷e̸.̵”

He shook his head behind his legs and tightened more into his ball. That didn’t shield him from the prying fingers that nudged into his ribs and pulled him out of his safe coils. The typical custom of prodding and pinching, tugging and turning went on. Mono knew by now fighting this didn’t work, so accepted the detached examination. Like he was some sort of puzzle to figure out. When finally satisfied, the Thin Man flipped him over to face him and rubbed a scratchy sleeve against his nose.

“Y̷o̴u̴ ̵ D̸o̷ not seem  ̶T̸h̶a̷t̷ ̵ D̵a̵m̸a̵g̸e̴d̴.̴ ̵There is no need for such D̸r̷a̴m̴a̵.”

Mono sputtered at the itchiness dragging on his nose. He tried getting away, but the Thin Man kept his free hand locked around his ribs while finishing with scrubbing at his chin. With no other option, he turned his eyes away and watched the brick wall rising behind the Thin Man glistening with the rivers of rain. It was better than trying to avoid the shining eyes scrutinizing all the things Mono did wrong. Like make… po-tent’shun work. Or whatever.

“You are bleeding quite a bit.” Mono did like the thick smoke smell on the sleeve. It was overpowering and made his eyes water, but not in the bad way. “I do not comprehend how you tumble into these S̷i̷t̶u̸a̴t̸i̴o̸n̴s̷.̵ I would suspect that you….” The crackling voice trailed off. Mono snuffled, every time he exhaled a fresh warm wave slipped down his cheeks.

“Does it hurt T̷h̶a̴t̷  ̴M̸u̷c̸h̷?̵”

Mono closed his eyes and shook his head. The Thin Man moved him, and he whined a pitiful sound that didn’t sound much like a brave kid. The soft fabric of the Thin Man’s jacket met his face, and it felt very soothing on his sore and bloodied nose. Firm but careful fingers pressed into his spine and forced him to unroll his limbs a bit more, until he could knit his arms into the folds of the jacket and its creases. Another soggy sound spilled out of him. He was such an idiot. Losing the fish. That would’ve made everything better.

“Shush-shhh-shh…” fizzled the static in his ears. “It will get better. The bleeding will stop and you will feel better. It does not look bad.”

He didn’t care about the hurt or all the copper filling his nose. He lost the fish for the Thin Man. It was going to make him happy and they would share it. Who let food get way? Six fought him when he couldn’t catch the fuzzy animal. But a fish? It didn’t even flee. It fell into a stupid crack. Like an idiot boy.

“Do your breathing. It will help.”

He had so much to do for the Thin Man. This wasn’t the time for being silly and dawdling over a hurt. The roads were brimming with danger, and he still hadn’t found a pathway that went anywhere – not through the roads, or through a collapsing buildings. If he tried, he might still have a chance of finding his way back to the creak and dragging out another fish. The Thin Man hadn’t gone anywhere in forever, he had to eat something other than smoke. But when he tried to squirm away the Thin Man held him.

“I want that B̷l̵e̵e̸d̵i̸n̴g̵ ̵ under C̶o̶n̸t̶r̶o̸l̸ foremost.” Mono grumbled under his breath, but the Thin Man wouldn’t listen. “That feistiness can W̶a̸i̵t̴.̶ Indeed. You are F̸e̷a̸r̷s̷o̶m̸e̷.̵ Whatever shall I do with you?”

The way his Thin Man made that speek… it sounded sad. He didn’t know why he thought that, it was the same creaking hum he always used that made Mono feel especially small and silly. Maybe it was the way the static prickled under his skin, the way it did when some lost thought bothered the Thin Man. Like how Mono couldn’t make powers work, and the Thin Man’s outline sputtered or flashed.

“Am wrong,” he murmured, on impulse. The crackle of static mingled with the prattling rain dancing on minced cardboard and fliers. It filled his ears like cold bubbles and silt.

“You are N̶o̸t̶ wrong. You are just….”

For ages he waited, his hands tightening on a seam of the suit lapel. The fingers worked on his back, unknotting the kinks in his muscles with delicate threading. He rubbed another coating of blood off on the Thin Man’s suit, but he never got whatever speek was had.

Mono was just Mono, and that was a problem for the very tol man.

He wanted to tell the Thin Man how much he did, how hard he worked to make everything safe. The long scouts he did in drafty rooms, how he tricked the worst monsters or found the best hide places for shelter. He collected all the best treasures in rooms, shiny things and interesting trinkets, or bones and boxes of wrapped food. The Thin Man liked wrapped food. Why was everything wrong for the Thin Man? Was it for powers? Them not work? Mono tried. He did work when the Thin Man wasn’t around. Eventually, he would surprise his Thin Man.

This wasn’t that time. He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready for the Tower, and he wasn’t ready to show the Thin Man how great he was.

“Are happy… t’Mono?” The static softened to a dull hum in his ears, and he tightened his fingers more into the suit lapel.

“Am I̴ ̸ H̸a̸p̸p̶y̴ to Mono?”

He sighed and rubbed his nose. The blood was sticky and pulled on his upper lip. “Have keep Mono? To happy?”

“N̶o̴t̸ ̶ R̵e̸a̷l̴l̷y̸.̴” A careful finger smoothed the hair on the back of his head. “N̶o̸t̴h̴i̴n̷g̷ you could do will W̵i̸l̸l̷  ̵E̸v̵e̸r̷ ̴make me H̴a̵p̸p̷y̸.̶”

Mono snorted and snapped his face up to those gleaming eyes. “Am make do. For work. Mono will.” For his credit, the Thin Man’s expression was flabbergasted. Good! He should know how much this was for Mono and how resolute he was for this mission.

Then the Thin Man snapped his head back and crackled with a screechy timber. If not for the Thin Man technically being ‘happy’, Mono would be devastated. He still didn’t feel great.

“Oh for the Tower, T̸h̶e̶ ̶ S̸p̵e̴e̸k̷ ̴ you M̶a̵k̷e̶.̴” The Thin Man lifted him up higher and studied his face. Mono always hated being so close to the Thin Man’s face, and being restrained so tightly. But the intense inspection never stopped until the Thin Man was done being curious.

“The bleeding has stopped. That is good. Do you feel better?”

He had no worthwhile response, lest the Thin Man fall into another giggle fit. “You are not happy. H̷m̷m̵?̵ ̷ That is T̵o̴ ̴ B̵e̸ ̵ E̷x̵p̶e̷c̶t̷e̸d̶.̵”

His feet met the icy pavement and a whirlwind of frigid air seeped into his soggy coat. “Am Mono. Have you.”

“And that there I̶s̴ the  ̴P̸r̶o̷b̸l̶e̸m̸.̸” The Thin Man uncoiled from leaning back against the wall, his silhouette glimmered as his posture adjusted into a kneel. “When I am G̶o̴n̷e̸—”

“N̸o̶!̶ ̶” Mono shut that down and threw himself at the knee braced to the cement ground. “No! No leave! Not gone. N̸o̶! Am keep! For Mono. Am have’oo. Mine! Mine! Mono s’keep.” He shouldn’t be so loud. Noisy children die. That was law.

But he couldn’t help it. What did the Thin Man no understand? He knew. He knew the Thin Man didn’t like him, and never wanted him around. He promised himself, those mistakes wouldn’t be repeated. He didn’t need the constant reminder.

“Am keep,” he burbled, while pressing his face to the Thin Man’s leg. He couldn’t be close enough. He couldn’t keep him long enough. But this moment was everything. The rain prattled on the walls, the harsh gale sliced across jagged corners. The static hummed softly in the back of his head. That was the best noise.

“N̴o̴t̴h̴i̸n̷g̷ lasts forever,̵  ̸C̵h̶i̸l̷d̵.̵”

Mono nodded against the dry fabric. The Thin Man was always dry, he always smelled of smoke (the good kind), the crackly noises felt good purring in his ears. But the Thin Man would not be his forever. Still, he would never let the Thin Man forget how much he was wanted.

Careful fingers coiled around his shoulders, but there was no pinching or indifferent scrutiny. He was pressed to the Thin Man’s boney shoulder, and the edge of his jaw settled beside the back of his head. The warble of static crowded out the sounds of icy rain, it felt like the whole world was caged away and it was just him and the Thin Man.

“For a L̷i̶t̷t̸l̷e̶ ̶ W̸h̵i̶l̶e̴ longer, you will have me,” the voice vibrated through his mind.

“Mm hmm,” he murmured, and nestled into the tight embrace. As if the Thin Man thought he would dissipate into the rain if he released him. That was a wonderful thought. “Important. See?” The Thin Man rumbled a sigh through his tiny chest. He should be scared. He should be worried that the Thin Man could forget to do soft, and might crush him.

He didn’t care.

“Y̶e̶s̵.̸ I see.” A dizzying sensation rushed through Mono, and soon after he felt the gentle rock of the Thin Man’s movement. His steps snapped across the high stretching walls around them, until the alley faded away. Then it was only rain dazzling the streets.

“I̵  ̷S̶e̶e̶,̵” repeated the Thin Man’s wistful speek. “You are a silly little child. Yet, here we have each other. Is that not something?”

Mono did his best to nod and grumbled. “Im’port-ant. S’why.” He smiled when the Thin Man chuckled against his shoulder. For once, that was a good noise.

“Yes. Very important.” The Thin Man shifted his face away from Mono, but the wide rimmed hat kept the rain from pelting his head. “And There Will Come Soft Rains. Mono? Would you like a story?”

He suspected this was coming. The Thin Man had other children to look at and visit, after all. But Mono’s eyes were already slipping shut, his thoughts cradled in the hammock of familiar smells and sensations of the Thin Man lulling into a quiet state of nothing thoughts with his warmth and presence.

“Mm,” he hummed.

For a listless spell, the Thin Man tried to describe something of a place with food and warmth that was called an hearf – it was a fire that was caged, and if tended well would keep a place dry and cozy. The ones that tamed the fire were called nomes, but that was as far as Mono got before the noises of static blurred in the dark space of his mind. None of the dream haunts that lurked in the cracks of his doubts awaited, instead, he was bundled in rags and left on a couch. It was very similar to a time forever ago, when the Thin Man first caught him and left him alone.

This time, the Thin Man was waiting for him. Very softly, the back of his fingers glided across Mono’s side. He knew Mono was awake, but didn’t hurry to rouse him or demand anything. He stayed, doing the company and giving Mono a chance to bask in this fleeting comfort.

Next

[artficlly]

his girls [one-shot]

marvel au bucky x reader alpine barely tolerates anyone but bucky, so when she curls up in your lap without a second thought, the team is left reeling—especially when it leads to the not-so-subtle revelation that you and bucky have been sneaking around for months.

Warnings: fluff, so much fluff, alpine is a troublemaker, secret dating, swearing, kissing, alcohol, tony knows all, natasha too, no use of y/n, lmk if i've missed anything

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: hello! once again a fic no one asked for lol. i'm supposed to be on hiatus buuut i took some time this afternoon to write this because i'm procrastinating a uni assignment. i'm sure this concept has been done before, but i was thinking about that scene in rivals with the dog (iykyk) and yeah! step away from the usual angst and heartbreak i normally provide you all with. sorry for any typos - not proof read.

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You were careful.

Or at least, you thought you were careful.

For months, you and Bucky had kept your relationship under wraps. It wasn’t that you wanted to keep secrets from the team, but there was something thrilling about stolen moments and hushed conversations. About Bucky’s hand on the small of your back as he guided you through a crowded room, or the way he’d brush a kiss against your temple before disappearing down the hall.

You figured no one had noticed.

Until today.

It all started with one of many white hairs stuck to your t-shirt.

Natasha plucked it off you mid-conversation one morning in the kitchen while you were praying—desperately—to whatever all-seeing god might finally make the coffee machine work faster. Between the groaning, spluttering sounds and the blinking lights, it felt like the damn thing was possessed. With flawlessly manicured nails, Natasha held the hair up to the morning light filtering through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the compound.

“Is this Alpine’s fur?” she mused aloud, twirling the long, pale strand between her fingers.

“Probably.” you replied absently, more concerned with the coffee machine’s latest refusal to cooperate. You jabbed the buttons harder, ignoring the way Natasha’s eyes flickered with something dangerously close to amusement. 

“For all of Tony’s money, you’d think we’d have a coffee machine that actually works,” you grumbled.

“Turn around?” Natasha asked. There was a particular lilt to her voice, that barely concealed intrigue she tried—and failed—to mask whenever she was onto something. It set you on edge instantly, the tone that meant she was clicking a mystery into place, giddy with excitement beneath a thin veil of indifference. You didn’t trust it for a second.

“No, just—” You smacked the machine in frustration. It whined pathetically before the lights blinked off entirely. You let out a long, exasperated groan. “Why won’t this stupid fucking thing ever work—”

“Jesus, you’re covered in it—”

You froze mid-motion as Natasha yanked at your shirt, effectively grooming you like a monkey. Her sharp lips had turned up into a wicked smirk, the type of smirk that made dread pool in your gut. 

“Everything is covered in her fur,” you said quickly, still trying for casual. You reached for the plug, praying Natasha would drop it. “She sheds everywhere, especially on the couch.”

“Mm.” Natasha tilted her head, her smirk deepening. “And yet, I thought Tony hired cleaners for that? Especially with Kate always bringing Lucky around?”

You yanked the plug from the socket a little too forcefully. “Honestly, Nat, I don’t know. I just want this damn machine to work.”

Right on cue, a familiar voice rumbled behind you.

“Machine giving you trouble again?”

Your heart stuttered in your chest before resuming its normal rhythm—though maybe a little faster. You turned just as Bucky strolled in, looking frustratingly good despite the early hour. His hair was a little dishevelled, sleep still clinging to him in a way that made him look too soft for someone who could snap a man’s spine in half.

“There’s a trick to it, remember?” He stepped in close beside you, skin brushing yours as he reached for the machine. The scent of his aftershave lingered, warm and familiar. You tried—and failed—not to watch the way the muscles in his forearm tensed, veins shifting beneath his skin as he pressed a series of buttons.

“Barnes, you’ve got cat hair all over you,” Natasha noted, not even bothering to be subtle. You didn’t dare look at her. Instead, you busied yourself wringing your hands, pretending you weren’t hyper-aware of Bucky standing so damn close.

“Huh?” Bucky barely spared a glance at his shirt, where Alpine’s fur was unmistakably clinging to the fabric. “Oh. Yeah, guess I do. She always wants attention in the morning.”

Then, with one final smack, the machine roared to life. The rich aroma of coffee filled the air as liquid finally poured into your mug. You sighed in sheer relief.

“There you go,” Bucky said, looking down at you with a small smile, a few strands of dark hair falling across his forehead.

Your stomach did a stupid little flip. You smiled back, warmth creeping into your face. “Thanks.”

The machine beeped again, snapping you back to reality. You quickly grabbed the mug with both hands, muttered another thanks, and let Natasha tug you away.

“What was that?” She hissed, voice low as she turned to you with narrowed eyes.

“Huh?” You weren’t entirely listening to her words. You found yourself glancing over your shoulder, a ghost of a smile tugging at your lips. You could still see Bucky standing in the kitchen, both hands braced on the counter as he waited for his own coffee. His back was turned, but even through the thin material of his fur-covered t-shirt, you could see the way his muscles shifted beneath it—

Natasha didn’t even humour your innocence. She crossed her arms. “You and Barnes?” 

“What about him?” You mumbled, pulling your gaze away as the elevator dinged, doors sliding open.

Her lips twitched, amusement clear. “Are you two—?”

You made a face at her. “What are you on about?” 

Natasha didn’t look convinced, but she let it go.

For now.

As the elevator hummed and Bucky was cut from your view as the doors shut, you took a sip of coffee, the liquid a few degrees between too hot and burning. It scalded your tongue, and with the phantom smell of Bucky’s aftershave no longer haunting you, you felt your mind snap back into action.

Right. Focus.

“We’re going to be late for the meeting,” you declared, shaking your head. “And that damn machine is the reason. You know what? Let’s take a detour to Stark’s lab and demand a better one.”

Natasha chuckled, pressing the button for a different floor.

“I like the way you think.”

—

You knew Alpine would be your downfall.

The little white menace was notoriously selective. If you weren’t Bucky, she wanted nothing to do with you. Everyone at the compound had suffered her wrath at least once—Sam even had the scars to prove it. Alpine liked to play dangerous games that usually ended in blood or a yowl of pain. You swore the Avengers bled more dealing with the feline than fighting aliens, wizards, or whatever else tried to obliterate Earth every other week. She was a cunning little creature, lurking around corners, hiding under tables, prowling along bookshelves. And just when you least expected it—bam. Teeth and claws bared, she would pounce, latching on like a tiny, vengeful spectre. This was her idea of fun. The Avengers had learned to tread carefully, tip-toeing around the compound whenever they knew she wasn’t safely curled up in Bucky’s room, where she ruled with an iron paw.

So, when you sat down on the couch one evening, and Alpine immediately hopped onto your lap, you knew you were fucked.

She didn’t hesitate, didn’t so much as sniff at you in consideration before curling right up, purring loud enough to be heard over the football game droning on in the background—which you were only half paying attention to. 

You stiffened, caught between awe at the rare privilege and sheer dread at the witnesses currently gaping at you.

Bucky, for his part, had been sitting at the other end of the couch, flirting with danger in his usual way—stolen glances, conveniently placed touches as he shifted in place. Alpine, just as obsessed with him as you were (Bucky had taken to calling you both ‘his girls’ in private, which always managed to make you swoon.), had immediately perched in his lap when he sat down. Only when he carefully pried her off to grab another round of beers did the little white she-beast decide you were a worthy substitute, strutting over with lazy, languid confidence before settling down, blissfully unaware of what she had just unleashed.

The room fell into stunned silence. Several pairs of eyes locked onto you, breath collectively held. They were waiting for the yowl, for the inevitable attack, for you to tense up and leap to your feet in pain. But to your horror, the little sadist simply settled in. Cosy, unbothered, as if this had been the plan all along.

“Okay, what the hell is this?” Sam finally demanded, pointing an accusing finger.

You blinked down at Alpine, then up at Sam, stroking the soft fur like nothing was amiss. “Uh… a cat?” 

You were foolish and desperate enough to pretend this was completely normal, to gaslight the others into believing Alpine was a perfectly gentle and affectionate cat. A sweet, loving companion. Not a tiny, vengeful menace who had terrorised them all—and definitely not a creature who had only warmed up to you in recent months because you spent more time in Bucky’s bed than your own.

“The same cat that tried to claw out my eyeball for getting too close? And now she’s just—” He gestured wildly at Alpine, who flicked her tail with the smugness of a queen on her throne. “—cuddling with you like you’re her best buddy?”

“She likes me, I guess.” You blinked innocently, turning back to the TV, hoping he would drop it, but Sam, ever the dramatic, was not satisfied.

“Are you kidding me? That cat has tried to kill me.”

Natasha snorted into her drink. 

Alpine smugly licked her paw before resting her head upon your thigh and blinking her wide blue eyes at Sam, who shook his head with an exaggerated shudder.  “This is bullshit, and you know it—”

“Maybe she just doesn’t like you, Sam.” You huffed, scratching Alpine behind her ears. “She’s always been fine with me.”

“That is not true!” 

“She took a chunk out of my arm once,” Natasha added, ever the instigator.

“Remember when I gave her a treat and she bit me?” Steve piped up.

Bucky returned at that moment, frowning as he saw the conversation unfolding before him. You turned to him with wide, desperate eyes, silently pleading for help. Alpine, the little traitor, merely pressed her pink nose to your hand, rubbing her face against you with a contented sigh.

“She only likes people she’s comfortable with,” Bucky offered, setting the beers down with a clink, but his pitiful attempt to be helpful only added fuel to the fire.

The room exploded into a series of overlapping voices.

“I didn’t realise you spent so much time with Alpine?” Natasha’s sharp gaze flicked between you and Bucky, her smirk primed to taunt you both. 

“Buck, doesn’t she spend all her time in your room—?” Steve leaned forward, forearms braced against his thighs, invested now.

Sam jolted upright like he’d just solved a murder case. “Now, hold on a second—”

“You have been covered in cat fur a lot lately,” Natasha mused. “And you two have been suspiciously close—”

As you glanced over at Bucky, you couldn’t tell if his repeated blunders were intentional or borne out of genuine panic. He cleared his throat, his brows raising as he casually popped off the cap of one of the beers with his vibranium thumb in faux nonchalance.

“Coincidence.” He muttered with a shrug, tipping back a mouthful of the brew. 

Alpine, completely oblivious (or entirely aware of the chaos she’d caused), didn’t budge as Bucky sat back down beside you, levelling you with a look that screamed we are so screwed.

“You two aren’t even going to try to lie?” Natasha pressed.

“Lie about what?” You feigned innocence, but the act was flimsy at best. The jig was well and truly up.

Bucky, clearly done with this little charade, let out a long-suffering sigh that might’ve sounded exasperated if not for the telltale smirk tugging at his lips. Without another word, he slung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you effortlessly against his chest, Alpine still coiled contentedly in your lap. The smug little she-beast didn’t even stir. She just purred loudly—too loudly, like she was taking credit for the entire thing.

“Wait a second!” Sam pointed a dramatic finger between the two of you. “How long has this been happening?”

“How long has what been happening?” Tony strolled into the room, a glass of amber liquid that looked suspiciously like whiskey in hand.

“Her,” Steve announced, gesturing between the both of you. “And Barnes.”

Tony didn’t even blink. “Oh, I already knew that. You didn’t know that?”

Bucky turned so fast you were surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash.  “You what?”

“Oh, come on,” Tony drawled, making himself comfortable on the armrest of the couch like this was all just another day at the office. “You really thought I wouldn’t notice her sneaking out of your room at ungodly hours for the past six months? F.R.I.D.A.Y. kept flagging intruders, and, shocker—it was just you two, utterly failing at stealth.”

Sam threw up his hands. “Did you say six months?!”

Bucky rolled his eyes, but instead of answering, he just turned to you and, without hesitation, kissed you.

It was sudden but warm, his lips soft against yours like he’d been waiting for an excuse. The room erupted into even more noise, Sam shouting something unintelligible, Natasha making a sound of smug satisfaction, and Steve groaning like he should’ve known, but it all faded into the background.

You laughed against Bucky’s lips, breathless but entirely unbothered. “This is definitely her fault.”

Alpine, still purring in your lap like the devious little mastermind she was, flicked her tail.

Bucky just hummed, brushing his nose against yours. “Yeah,” he muttered. “Not complaining, though.”

And, truthfully, neither were you.

[helianthus-hellion]

modern-day house m.d. episode where the patient is transmasc and on T, and after house reads his file he goes in and is reading off prescriptions like "estradiol cream, finasteride, prescription face wash, prescription deodorant... god, it's like you don't even want to be a man!" and the patient says "just because i wanna be a man doesn't mean i have to suffer all the shitty side effects" and house goes "it's all shitty side effects! being a man sucks!" before tossing the file down on the little tray table thing and leaving.

chase and cameron exchange A Look in the room and then while they're walking down the hall cameron's like "we should talk to him about it - maybe he'd be... happier? if he transitioned?" and chase rolls his eyes and is like "just because he thinks being a man sucks doesn't mean he's trans, every guy hates being a man at least some of the time" and then cameron gives him Another, Slightly Alarmed Look

we cut to house and wilson and wilson's looking at him like he's insane, going "so you... told the patient that being a man sucks?" and house laughs and says "sure did! i wanna know which will take longer - cameron coming to me concerned about my gender, or chase realizing he should be concerned about his gender. her gender? eh, probably easier to just stick with 'his' for now." wilson accuses him of being a sociopath and house looks fake-wounded and says "you know, if i am a sociopath, you're being ableist by attributing my cruel actions to my sociopathy, and if i'm not a sociopath then it's even worse that you're accusing me of being one just because i'm mean."

cuddy approaches house later and tells him that she heard about what he told the patient, and she is required both to make him take sensitivity training and also to provide him resources on transitioning if he wants to pursue that. house asks if him being a woman would make cuddy bisexual, and she raises and eyebrow and says "that ship sailed long ago" and doesn't elaborate on whether she means she isn't into house anymore so it doesn't matter or that she already is bi. house starts cyberstalking her to try to figure out if she slept with any of the women she's friends with on facebook. the team comes in to tell him about a new symptom and he shows them a photo of cuddy from college with a hot girl at a halloween party and is like "do you think they ever fucked? i think they fucked. even if they didn't, i'm gonna imagine they did." foreman tries to get them back on track but chase leans in to get a better look at the photo and it turns out to be wilson in a costume. there's an awkward beat of silence before cameron goes "SO, back to the patient!" and house makes a sort of dismissive "huh? oh, yeah, go test him for [whatever]" while staring intently at the photo.

he confronts wilson about the photo, wilson admits it's him, house starts by going "oh, yeah, but i'm the one having a gender crisis" but accidentally says "sexuality crisis" instead and wilson is like "house do you... do you think i'm hot in that photo?" and then we cut to chase asking cameron if she thinks he could pull off an outfit like that and they discuss it a little while doing a blood draw or LP or whatever. the patient gives them both A Look and is like "you know, you can get wigs and breast forms pretty cheap these days..." and chase is like "hm? oh, yeah i guess one of those costume supply sites would probably have stuff like that huh," and the patient raises his eyebrows at cameron who just shakes her head a tiny bit.

house accuses cuddy of sleeping with his best friend in the clinic lobby and she drags him into her office to ask what the hell he's talking about and he shows her the photo. she's like "yeah, we were at a halloween party together in college, so what?" and house says that wilson makes a really hot chick and asks if that's what awakened cuddy's "bi side," and cuddy just rolls her eyes and tells him to stop projecting his sexuality crisis onto her just because he thinks his best friend is hot. house asks if wilson was at least a good lay and cuddy says "find out for yourself!" before kicking him out of her office again.

house goes back to his office and cameron is pacing outside the door, and she looks nervous when he walks up to her. she follows him into his office and she has clearly prepared A Speech about how if he doesn't like being a man he doesn't have to be, and he doesn't even have to be a woman either, there's options, and it's never too late to transition no matter what people say, and he cuts her off like "yes yes you're very supportive, you clearly aced sensitivity training" and then he has the episode's Epiphany and it turns out that the patient transitioned too early and there was some (largely made-up and not actually backed by irl medical science) complication from starting his transition as a teenager, and the patient is like "oh so you're saying i did this to myself?" and house says "well legally at least, either your parents or the governor of new jersey did it to you - depends on who approved the hormones."

wilson comes up to him at the end and is like "you know, it's okay if you think i'm hot. and it's also okay if you're a woman. if you... ever need any tips on passing as one, i'm happy to help."

the ending is left ambiguous as to house's actual gender identity and, much like the autism episode, it kinda feels like the writers' room was full of heavy debate about whether house should be trans or not. we also never actually circle back to the fact that chase is definitely trans, it never comes up again, and this move pisses off both trans people and allies who wanted it to become A Story Arc and anti-trans people who are mad it even came up in a single episode, absolutely nobody is happy about how they handled that subplot.

[haztory]

bias.

masterlist | part two

— jack abbot x fellow f!reader; attending/fellow dynamic, age-gap (unspecified but assumption is reader is late 20s and up while jack is mid-40s), heavy plot, slow-burn, angst, character harassment (from an original male character), mentions of grief, mentions of jack's late wife, mentions of racism against staff, sexual content (mild), mentions of death, protective jack abbot, medical inaccuracies, mentions of needles, these two taking care of each other without realizing, ohio slander (srry!)

— word count: 11k

— summary: A week on the floor with Dr. Jack Abbot. Or: The multiple shifts in which Dr. Abbot's bias towards you shows.

SHIFT ONE, Sun-Mon, 4:15 AM:

“Did you tell Reno you were going to shove your foot up his ass?”

You pause your charting at the rolling cart outside of North 12 and look over your shoulder. 

Jack stands behind you, arms crossed, with a raised brow and his lips pulled thin. Not sternly— you're familiar with what that looks like, have been on the receiving end of that a few times. This is a tempered concern, one he pushes down lest he get too involved.

“Yep.” You answer, simply. You return to your charting, fingers clacking loudly on the keyboard as the truth buoys in the air. 

He huffs a breath, heavy. An attempt to roll out the strife that comes with the burden of being an attending. “You trying to make my Monday shitty?”

“Trying to keep you on your toes, old man.” You return.

He steps in beside you, leaning his good shoulder against the wall as he faces you. He keeps his gaze beyond you, scanning the movements of the ER.

“You wanna tell me why?”

“I don’t think you want to know.”

“I don’t.” He agrees. 

“So, why are you asking?”

“Morbid curiosity.” He admits, dryly. Hazel eyes fall to you, swimming with a suppressed amusement that only a poet could accurately describe. “And he wants me to write you up.”

A sigh escaped your mouth, heavy and inconvenienced. You turn to him. “He told Anna Maria to spend less time speaking ‘her language’ and more time speaking ‘ours’ so she could fulfill his orders.”

His lips flick downward, heat infusing with the twitch. “You see it?”

“No. Caught her in the stairwell crying and she told me. Apparently, he’s been picking at her all night. I wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t the first one he said this to. So, I told him if I ever see him speaking like that to one of my nurses I’d take him to the parking lot and shove my foot up his ass.”

Jack nods. It’s weighty and slow as he digests your words, but there is otherwise no conflict on his face. The heat from before extinguishing. No shade change, no visible opinion. Resolute, resound, completely normal, when he says, without much effect, “Okay.”

The typical smart quip dry remark remains nowhere to be found.

He steps away from you and walks the short distance to the front desk and settles behind it. You watch him quietly, clueless as he grabs a post-it note from behind the desk and a pen from the cupholder and begins writing something. Completely unable to read the man.

“Okay?” You probe, drawing closer to him. 

“I believe you.” He says. 

A beat passes, filled with the low hum of the moving ER and the faint sound of his pen scratching on the paper. He puts the pen back into the cup holder then folds the paper up, tucking it into the breast pocket of his scrubs. It’s a simple thing yet the charged silence makes it feel like a great epic.

The fated paper written on account of your words. His face makes no betrayal of its contents. Even in your own obvious glance down to the paper then to his eyes, he makes no movement to provide clarity.

“I’m not apologizing.” You say after a minute. 

“I didn’t ask you to.” Jack tilts his head to the side. “Would’ve done the same damn thing.”

Silence stretches, long and heavy as your eyes hold on his.

“I don’t like him.” You explain, as if that could help anything. Jack nods and this time you understand it to be one of agreement. 

There’s no doubt of the new transfer’s value as a knowledgeable doctor, just as there is no doubt that PTMC needs another night shift doctor on the rotations. But within those resounding truths comes another of equal importance.

Dr. Maxwell Reno, the new fellow on the floor transferred from Cleveland three months ago, is a dick.

“Neither do I. But I don’t like anybody.” A flicker of understanding sparks in his eyes. “I’d pay good money to see you take him in the parking lot, though.”

A smile finally breaks onto your face. “Give me Friday off and I’ll do it right here.”

“Yeah, and get stuck with paperwork? Try again, city girl.”

“Worth a shot.” You shrug and he shakes his head. Only a slight downturned smile gracing his face..

A steadied quiet fills the space. The ER only slightly awake tonight with the small troubles. A young boy who had fallen off his bunk bed, a teenager on fluids from a stress induced migraine, and some other small plights that have trickled onto the floor. It’s hardly ever like this, the forbidden “quiet”. Usually a storm falls in shortly after but tonight, the quiet has been just that. Quiet.  

There’s a slight wariness in everyone, the other shoe dangling from the ceiling that everyone keeps glancing to. Waiting for it to teeter, maybe even thud violently against the floor. And yet, nothing. For once, it’s a nice thing to wade into, because it leads to moments like this. Pleasant exchanges and generous smiles from the man usually averse to those.

“I can tell Anna Maria to come talk to you.” You supply, only to make his life easier. 

He shrugs, considering it. “Sure, only if she wants to. But you handled it. Should be fine.”

“You gonna do it?”

“Write you up?” He asks. You nod.

He walks around the front desk, his slow gait bringing him before you. “Do I look like a school principal?”

“Grey hair had me convinced.”

He glares. The edge of your grin cracks wider. “I can’t professionally condone fellow-on-fellow crime—”

“—You have got to stop hanging with Shen—” 

“—but you’re my only brawler on the floor and we’re running low on those. So no.”

“Brawler? It was one time!”

“You tackling that 37-year-old meth addict is a fan favorite.”

“Is that why you’re keeping me around?”

“It’s not because of your suturing, I can tell you that.” He leans comfortably against the desk, and for all the quiet murmurs that have gone around about Jack and his hard sarcasm and no-bullshit attitude, he is wildly comfortable in this moment. Eased, despite the constant glancing at the other shoe. Joking, at your expense. As he settles into an easy tease and his body relaxes, you find that you don’t mind him poking at you all that much. Not if it gets him like this.

You raise a brow at the mention. “Didn’t realize you all were thinking about it that much.”

“Every night before bed. Your screams help me sleep.”

You hit his arm playfully. “You’re so morbid.”

“Wait ‘til you see what I use to meditate.” 

You feel, then, the tingling sensation of an audience on you. Glancing up, you see the quick scurrying of some nurses pretending to be occupied. The whites of their eyes seen at the very last second, just as they pull their stares away from the quiet moment. 

“You should get out of here before the peanut gallery starts accusing you of bias.” There’s a thrum of dismay that pulses through you at the suggestion. The feeling of a good moment ending that you unknowingly try to cling on to. You stampen it out before the possibility of it shows on your face. 

“Bias? Of what? I don’t like you that much.” The tone is dry, wholly Jack, and yet his eyes make home to a low burning whim of trouble like it always belonged there. “If anyone says anything, I’ll just take it from the expert and shove my foot up their ass.” 

He taps his hand on your desk, a finalizing drum before he departs. 

“Hopefully the metal one.” You call after his retreating figure.

“You know it.” He says without looking back.

The sound of your laugh resounds through the halls.

SHIFT TWO, Mon-Tues, 9:17 PM:

Meredith Sakman, a 67-year old woman who fell off her kitchen chair as she was trying to clean her kitchen light, sits before you in the examination room as you suture the superficial laceration sustained to the right side of her head.

Her hands, wrinkled with age and wisdom, fiddle with each other incessantly. Passing from twiddling with her wedding ring to drumming on her thighs as you weave thread through skin.

Sensing her discomfort, you fill the space. “So, Mrs. Sakman—how long have you been married?”

She seems startled out of the fog of her head, ”Oh, uh, 42 years.”

“Wow. Congratulations.” You hum, sincerely. “What’s the secret?”

“I don’t know. All these years and he’s still the person I look for when I walk into a room.”

“Must be an outstanding man.”

“When he wants to be. He’s a little bit of a grouch, but he makes me laugh.” She laughs, and the wistfulness of her voice grounds the room. You smile inadvertently at the details of her love.

 “Are you dating anyone?” She asks curiously, just as your forceps tie one end of the suture.

“Uh, no. I am not.” Saying it isn’t a confession of fault. It’s fact. 

The priority has always been your career. School first to get you to the good job that can get you to the rest of your life. You weren’t made for much of the troublesome youth, a fortunate detail your parents never took for granted. Smart head on your shoulders that got you the New York residency for three years, that led you to pursue the Pittsburgh EM fellowship—year one of two already knocked off your belt. 

Dating—as desirous as it could be on the lonely nights—didn’t fit much into that picture. The type of men that were interested in dating you didn’t fit into that picture. 

“Well that’s odd.” Mrs. Sakman heaves, truly stunned by your admission. “You’re a beautiful young woman. And a doctor. They should be rushing to snatch you up.”

“Well, you know. Guys my age tend to find that intimidating and often can’t measure up.” You explain simply and the older woman scoffs. 

“You need an older man.” She smiles knowingly. “One who knows a couple of things and can be your match. I’ve had my fair share of them and they were quite the memories.”

You don’t settle too long on her words, no matter how much you agree with them. Have always been told that you needed someone mature, like you. 

You move on. “I bet you were a hot gun back in the day.”

“Still am, sweetheart.” She giggles. “You know, my son is single.”

You give her a deadpan stare from above, halting the thread of your needle to meet her gaze. 

“Mrs. Sakman—“ You scold and she holds her hands up in defense.

“He’s a very smart man! Has his own accounting firm, very sweet and I’m not saying that because he’s my son. He’s 40 and you’d make a good match. And with that face of yours, you’d give me beautiful grand babies.”

You laugh, tying up the final knot in the suture and setting the forceps on the cart beside you. The excess thread is cut off with your scissors. “Unfortunately, I’m not in the habit of dating anyone related to my patients.”

“Then I’d like to see another doctor, please. So that way I’m not your patient.”

You shake your head with a smile. “You are a trip, Mrs. Sakman.”

The exam room settles into a comfortable silence, filled with the overheard sounds of the life of the ER around you. The small chatter in the curtained room beside you, the hum of machines, the occasional shout or laugh from the nurses desk. 

Just as you finish up your dutiful matters to her laceration, slipping the gloves off and directing your attention to her to explain proper suture care—

—she’s calling out to someone over your shoulder.

“Excuse me, sir! Can you be my doctor?”

Turning around, you see Jack is caught mid-stride walking past your room. His face scrunches in concern. 

“Everything alright?”

“Mrs. Sakman—“ You begin hastily, mortification burning through you as he steps into the enclosed space. 

Mrs. Sakman, in her rosy glory, plows on. Meeting the man with an effervescent grin that gives no cause for caution. “Oh yes, your doctor here is lovely and has taken such good care of me, but I’d like you to be my doctor.”

A brow raises, his eyes flicking to yours for explanation. 

You flounder for a moment, your mouth opening and closing repeatedly. The chagrin you feel is red hot and there is little hope that it doesn’t reflect obviously in your face.

“Dr. Abbot—” You sigh, begrudgingly, fingers at your forehead as you try to rub the embarrassment away, “Mrs. Sakman is trying to set me up with her son but as I said, I do not date relatives of my patients.”

“Ah.” He takes the information in stride, nodding his head with latent interest. Cool, calm, and collected while you fluster over the discussion of your dating life.“You trying to take one of my doctors from me, Mrs. Sakman?”

“If you’ll let me.” She smiles

“You don’t have to put your son through that torture. Order me a pastrami deli sandwich and I’ll give her to you for free.” Jack tilts his head to the side, grabbing a pair of gloves from the wall. He pointedly ignores the loud offended gasp you emit. 

“Let’s take a look at you.” Sliding the gloves on and stepping up beside the older woman, he begins a gentle survey of the laceration. Fingers slightly touching the wound, turning his head this way and that in review. 

“Sutures look good. CT clean?”

“Not even a hairline fracture.” You present, “She’ll be tired, maybe a bit dizzy, but otherwise she’s good. Anticoagulants have been prescribed along with tylenol for the next couple of days. Gonna keep her for another hour for observation before discharge with a wonderful guide on how to clean her sutures.”

“Good.” Jack nods. “Well, unfortunately, Mrs. Sakman, there’s not much more for me to do that your current doctor hasn’t. So you will have to stay in her care.”

“You can’t make an exception for a poor woman?” She sweetens. 

“Your flirtations won’t work on me, young lady.” He issues, low and exceptionally playful.

Mrs. Sakman giggles akin to a teenage girl, her face turning rosy as she waves Jack away. 

“Besides—” Hie head gestures to you as he speaks to Mrs. Sakman, “—we call this one Rambo behind her back. We give her up, we gotta spend more money on security and that’ll come out of my paycheck.” 

Jack takes off his gloves and tosses them into the bin, giving you a long, knowing look. Mirthful and wry, it holds against your dry, scolding one. Waiting for you to make a rebuttal, calculating the moves and ways it would come out of your mouth for him to counter. You anticipate it, depriving him of the reaction that he’s looking for despite the way his eyes dig into yours, searching for it. Looking like he couldn’t stop looking for it, like it would make his whole night if you just caved.

You stick your tongue in your cheek and he watches, fixated—the ghost of amusement casting over his face as he sidesteps you by the curtain’s opening. 

Your eyes trail after him, doing so well in withholding until he tilts his head at you. Beckoning. Your lips quirk upward then, and it’s all he needs.  

He breaks the prolonged charge with a sweet goodbye to your patient. “Have a good night, Mrs. Sakman.” Then, to you, he innocently says. “Holler if you need me.”

And then he’s gone, leaving from whence he came. The crater of his weighty presence settles in the room. 

You turn to Mrs. Sakman, with a shake of your head and an exasperated smile on your face. “And that is why you don’t want Dr. Abbot as your doctor.”

“Is he seeing anyone?” She laughs. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve got a daughter you want to set up, too.” You admonish.

“No. But you should pursue that one. That look, I’ve seen that before.”

It’s a splash of cold water over the heat that was simmering within you. At the embarrassment, at his teasing. A voiced thought that has no place for existence in this room—in this department, in this moment, in your life.

(A voiced thought that has infiltrated your own a time or two. That has wiggled its titillating fingers into the wayward dream, made a mountain out of a molehill, leaving your chest heaving, your thighs clenching, and the thought of Jack Abbot vivid on your mind.)

You push on, clearing your throat and detouring before your embarrassment escalates to humiliation. “Alright, Mrs. Sakman. I’m going to print out a guide for you that tells you how to take care of your sutures.” 

“I’m serious. Rules be damned, life’s too short. And he’s too handsome.” She insists just as you mean to step out of the exam room. You see only sincerity and genuity in her features. “I can see you with someone like him.”

Your mouth opens to find a response only to be met with the drying of your tongue. Words suddenly hard to connect, meaning difficult to find. 

Finally, with little resolve and even less polish, you mutter, “Be back soon.”

SHIFT THREE, Tues-Wed, 12:05 AM

“Hey! You think you can take my shift, sunshine?”

Ellis’ voice stops you from your walk from the bathroom and into the break room where she and Hilly gaze curiously back at you. The resident and the nurse are two of your favorites on the night shift, stopping for them is akin to stopping for air. 

“Rambo, brawler, sunshine. I’m getting all the nicknames this week.” You lean against the doorframe, peering at the two women who smile easily at you. “When?”

“Next Tuesday.”

“Can’t. I’ll be on vacation.” You tell her with pity. 

“Oh shit.” Her voice is light despite the disappointment. A welcome refresh on the night shift. “Where you going?”

“Florida.” The excitement is barely contained in your words. The prospect of a long vacation—away from the noise, away from the stress, away from disinfectant and in the sun—is a long overdue one. That excitement is shattered upon Hilly and Parker’s audible groan of disgust. Your mouth drops in shock as you defend. “I’m visiting my sister!”

“Don’t get eaten by a gator.” Hilly mumbles.

“Or a disney adult.” Parker pokes and you roll your eyes.

“I will be at the beach, thank you very much. A whole week with a piña colada in my hand and a tiny bikini on.”

Parker stands from her seat at the break table and fills up her thermos from a water bottle in the fridge. “If you come back with sun poisoning, I’m gonna laugh.”

“I’m a pro at tanning.” You insist. 

She raises a brow. “Even with a tiny bikini on?”

“Especially with a tiny bikini on.” You assert. 

She shrugs with a smile. “We’ll see.” 

“Talk to Abbot.” You tell her, returning back to the topic, “He might cover it.”

It’s almost comical the way Parker and Hilly’s faces scrunch in unanimous uncertainty. 

“Not today.” Ellis says. 

“It’s one of those days.” Hilly supplements. You nod in understanding, not entirely faulting the reasoning. Warnings were issued throughout the crew the minute the shift started. Steer clear. Dr. Abbot woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. 

Or maybe he didn’t sleep at all.

“Unless you wanna ask him for me?” Ellis counters, curiously.

Your brows furrow. “Why me?”

“Because you would get a much different answer than I would get.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” You insist, off put by the implication that you have any kind of weight to you in respect to Jack. Jack doesn’t lean on anything, for anyone. He doesn’t waver, he doesn’t reconsider. He’s a straight shooter, calling things like he sees it, having answers before the situation even arises.

If anything, your familiarity and comfortability with him makes you more prone to being at the short end of his sticks. Voluntold for things less than appealing—like picking up more shifts, by his steadfast hand.

“He’d say the same thing to me that he would to you.”

Hilly and Parker, in another feat of supernatural alignment, look at one another. A silent discussion translated in the look before they return to you.

“Sure.” Hilly nods. 

“Whatever you say.” Ellis supports. Your guffaw is met with Hilly’s boisterous giggles. 

That is, until her laughter is unceremoniously shot dead. An arrow to the heart, a quick and frigid silence encompassing the room. A glance at her reveals widened eyes fixated on something over your shoulder. 

The man in question stands behind you, lips in a thin line as his gaze bounces between the three of you. 

“Are we a hospital or a talk show, now?”

The two women quickly make their excuses, shuffling out of the room in a speed remarkably unlike either of them.

“Nope, on the way out now—”

“—I just remembered I’m so busy—”

Leaving only the two of you to occupy the break room. You half expect him to throw a comment out to you, expelling you back to the trenches of the ER but he doesn’t. He steps into the room with a low mutter. Unintelligible and gruff, resounding of the ire that has become him since the night started. 

The smell of his aftershave wafts past you. A cool mist twined with a musk. Inexplicably, him. Resonant of the stoic confidence that emanates off of him. Resounding man.

He’s tense as he approaches the counter, pulling a mug out of the cupboard and flicking on the coffee machine. It’s visible in the way he carries himself. The stance of a soldier back on war grounds, eyes skirting, glancing over his shoulder, listening for something. Not the sound of an incoming ambulance, not the sound of an intern struggling during a procedure. Something almost quiet, imperceptible. Known only to him, familiar to the memories that live in the lines of his face. A call with no name. 

A call that will bring back all that he’s lost. 

“Ellis needs her shift covered next Tuesday.” You toss the test balloon out, wondering if it’s enough of that kind of day for him to shoot it down with a precise blow dart or if there’s enough gentility in him to at least let it float by. 

“Sounds like an Ellis problem.” He mumbles.

“Just throwing it out there. In case you happen to have a solution.”

He looks over his shoulder, his eyes clearly bounce between yours, digging for a moment, before he turns his attention back to the coffee machine. 

“I’ll see.”

Floating by, it is.

“Everything good?” You ask his turned figure. Stepping further into the minefield, seeing what lands, which foot you place will step on the mine. “You’ve been working all week.” 

He snorts, but there’s no humor to be found. “So have you.”

“Yeah, but I’m off for a week starting Saturday. When are you off?”

”Saturday.”

A quiet hangs in the air, filled with your expectancy. ”…that’s it?”

“And Monday.”

“You need more than that.” 

One shoulder raises in a shrug. The smell of ground coffee fills the air as the pot bubbles to toil with the brew. Nothing particularly interesting and yet his attention is fixated. “Not dead yet.”

You hum, suspicious enough. “Rough night?” 

“What makes you say that?” 

The edge to his tone, that’s identical to the edge in his posture, that’s exactly like the edge in his attitude. Any and all of the above.

“You’re wired, today.” 

The observation isn’t groundbreaking. It doesn’t shatter windows, or break the sound barrier. It is a recognized truth that sits in the air with little disruption. He says nothing. Only pours the pot of black coffee into his mug. 

He’s not wearing his ring. 

The black one that has stayed permanently fixed on his left hand, third finger. 

There’s only been a handful of shifts in your year at PTMC that you’ve seen him without it—and they all felt like this. Rough. Tense. Like someone is one misstep away from receiving the glare that maims the career.  

It’s not a secret that Dr. Abbot lost his wife to cancer a few years after he was medically discharged from the Army. Just the mythology that lingers in the air like antiseptic. It’s easy to piece together that the days of his rigidity happen to coincide with whether or not his ring is on. 

And maybe that’s why you’ve been able to gravitate towards him. Not out of pity, but understanding. Respect. Admiration. Anyone with two eyes can tell that Jack carries himself with a significant weight—a testament to the life he’s lived, all that he has learned and lost. It’s a quiet confidence, an assumed burden that shows in his gait. A shining light that draws the helpless to him.

It’s hard to not be drawn to someone like him. 

So, you try. Out of some loose notion of affinity, respect, out of some desire to give back, you push where you know you probably shouldn’t. 

“You know…if you ever want to talk— about life, your day, what you ate this morning, something stupid you saw—” Your voice falters, hesitant for a moment before you find your steel commitment and push. “—grief. You can always talk to me. I’m here. At work. Out of work.”

His body goes still. Rigid. And stupidly, you wonder if this was the call he was listening for.  

“I won’t pretend to know. But, I can listen. If you want me to. Just ask.”

You don’t think he’ll ever take you up on it. In fact, it’s laughable to think that your attending—the man leagues above you in experience, and knowledge, and wisdom, would willingly stoop down to his fellow’s standing and talk about his feelings. Men like him compartmentalize. It’s what makes him an excellent doctor. The immovable rock under the beating current of the river. The beacon in a rushing trauma room.

But a foolish part of you tries because… well, because you want to. 

Because it’s Jack, at the end of the day. Battlin’ Jack with the edge in his eyes and the razor on his tongue. The first one you look for in a busy operating room, the last one you spot as you're packing up for the night.

Hazel eyes turn over his shoulder and find their spot on you with immediate precision. Boring a hole into you. Analyzing, configuring, understanding. He stares at you, in a charged stillness, almost like he were doing all three things at once and coming up empty on whatever he was trying to find.  

“…Sure.” 

You understand in the hesitancy that there is something hidden that he’s not wanting to share. You try to reason that his answer, as vague as vague comes, is a good thing, if only to save yourself from the disappointment of realizing that your attempt for connection has met a stoned wall. His words ring of finality, his signal to end the conversation. 

It’s here where the berth between you two feels so enormous, the difference in your stages of life. Not in the quips of the shifts, not in the jests of your being his junior and your teases of his age. Not when you’re beside him manning a procedure and working in tandem with the makings of a well-oiled machine as though you were always meant to work with him. But here, where you catch Jack in the hush and see glimpses of the man under the doctor is where the reminder is so pointed.

Signed, sealed, and delivered with red tape in your line of sight. Caution, written in his crow’s feet. Tread lightly, in the wrinkle of his smile lines. Warnings you should heed.

And yet, keep pushing, echoes in the beat of your heart. 

You nod, a small, resigned smile crossing your face. Leaving well enough alone. 

“Okay.” Tapping a hand against the doorway, you begin to take your leave from the room.

“Oh!” You stop yourself, turning back to him only to find that his eyes are still trained on you. “Uh, your patient in fourteen said he was experiencing a burning sensation in his penis when I walked by.”

“He’s in for heartburn from eating a shit ton of takis.” He says, diffident. 

“Guess he didn’t lick all the dust off his fingers.” You shrug. 

“Sounds like it.”

You take your leave and in the wake of your absence, Jack takes a harrowing breath.

His therapist’s voice lingers in his head. 

Doesn’t have to be the whole fleet. Doesn’t have to be announced. Just one is enough. Just a status update is all they need. All you need.

And maybe it's because he knows the sincerity behind your words, the invitation doesn’t feel like a hanging noose like it usually does. The prospect of talking about it—giving the status update—is akin to a standing death sentence for a man like him. Giving the unnamed a name, voicing it into existence, giving it the power to consume. 

He’s getting better at it. Giving the small doses in the official setting, where it's him, four beige walls, and a man with a PhD. Taking it outside of there, though, is still the battling challenge.

But—when you say it, when you offer—  

He pushes past it, doesn’t try to think too hard about it. Stocks it up on a shelf out of reach. Something to handle later, to forget about when he remembers to toss it out. Or, if the mood catches him just right in the safety of Dr. Mott’s office, he’ll bring it up. Discuss what it means, what he should do about it.

He doesn’t know. Only knows that a door has been left ajar, breadcrumbs of care and comfort leading a trail through and to you. Cracked open by your gentle hand.

Only knows that in the dormant hold of a wounded man and the slow becoming of a new one that he’s pushing himself to, Jack finds himself feeling the faint pang of hunger for something other than self-inflicted guilt and shame.

He eyes the breadcrumbs you left behind. Wondering, deep in the recesses of his conflicted mind, how they would taste.

He chugs his coffee, burns the taste buds on the tip of his tongue. Hopes that it erodes the want right where it began, cripples the potential to even try.

(It doesn’t.)

Thurs-Fri, 11:35 PM:

Jack is two forearms deep in the cracked thoracic cavity of an intubated 46-year old woman performing an EDT when the doors to Trauma One open. 

“Dr. Abbot, can I speak to you?” Dr. Reno, communal night shift’s bane of existence and general nuisance, shouts into the operating room. 

Jack has no more of an issue with the man than he does with anyone from Ohio—a general sense of pity coupled with a scrutinized squint of the eyes at some unsavory opinions that tend to come from the Buckeyes, particularly when the Steelers are playing—but the general opinion of the team’s feelings are not lost on him. 

He’s heard the whispers, seen the way the crowd parts like the Red Sea when the man is around. Jack keeps his head down, for the most part. He’s not Robby. Aside from the general check-in and check-out, he doesn’t want to manage people. Personalities exist, but they don’t matter in the heat of the moment. He leaves them be, pointedly making quirks and general tendencies a side effect of the job. Pointedly makes it not his business.

Until it is.

“Don’t know if you have eyes, Reno, but I’m kind of busy.” Jack responds, quick and cool, before turning his attention to Ellis’s intubation, “Drop the left lung and pump another three CC’s. Pericardium is getting cut.”

“Find me after.” Reno says briskly, the doors shutting loudly. 

Something vile and uncouth springs to his mind, annoyance cutting through Jack like a stabbing knife at the summoning. Something inappropriate, unprofessional, mildly threatening on a good day. Its sentiment is met in equal parts with Ellis’ mumble of “dick” which only makes Jack feel slightly better. 

Scissors cut through the thin wall of the heart’s membrane and quickly spot the torn ventricle that’s spouting blood profusely. 

“Found our geyser.” Plugging the hole shut with his finger into the rupture, he looks over to Walsh. “Ready to stop twiddling your thumbs, Dr. Walsh?”

“About time.” She rebuts, moving in beside him and beginning the suturing of the heart. 

Then a moment later, as her forceps pull thread through delicate tissue, she says, “You should handle that.”

He doesn’t need clarification to know what she means. “And you should handle this.”

“I’m doing my job.” She pushes. “Do yours.”

12:05 AM

“I’m concerned about your other fellow.”

If time could be rewound, he’d go back to this morning and let the phone ring into oblivion. Ignore the call asking him to come in tonight and spend the rest of his day watching the Pirates play the Yankees. Would rather watch his team get their asses handed to them than have this conversation—knowing where it’s going, knowing who it's about. The regret of his decisions only grates him further.

Dr. Abbot doesn’t find Dr. Reno. Dr. Reno finds Dr. Abbot—contrary to the directive that interrupted the procedure in South-13.

Just as he’s stepping out of the OR and chucking his bloodied gloves into the trash bin, Maxwell is on him without preamble. That stabbing feeling—the unabated annoyance— creeps up his neck like a fucking burn. So much so that Jack has to roll it out before even looking at the new fellow. 

His eyes flick to the man, deeply unimpressed at how dogged the man appears to be. He continues his path towards the workstation. Dr. Reno follows after him, quick on his heels. 

“Her charts and prescriptions are suspect.”

“What, is there not enough work, man? You’re reading other doctors’ charting notes?”

“She and I have disagreed too often about standards of care.”

“Then leave it as a disagreement and move on.”

“Just—” Dr. Reno grabs onto Jack’s arm, halting him in place. It earns the man a putrid glare, Jack’s eyes boring into the hand that lingers on his bicep until Dr. Reno takes the hint and quickly removes it. “—look at it, Dr. Abbot. I’m concerned.”

Reno holds out a folder, one that Jack fights the urge to grab and chuck across the ER. There are no niceties when Jack takes it, his ire blatant as he yanks the folder from the man’s hand. 

Your name is the first thing he sees on the document. A usual tender, easing thing within him that Jack refuses to draw attention to—the sight of your name below his on the schedule set for the same shift, the pop-up notification of your name in the work group chat whenever you send a text. Something he would continue to dutifully ignore were it not for the fact that the notes labeled as “suspect” are notes you’ve made on a patient dated a week and a half ago. 

He scans the timeline, red quickly filling his vision. Steel becomes him the minute his gaze flicks up to Reno, finding the man looking back at him expectantly.

“This is your smoking gun? Really?” Reno nods, emphatically. Jack grits his teeth. “Get back to work, Maxwell.”

“The patient was coughing up blood and complained of chest pain. CT confirmed it was a pulmonary embolism which should’ve resulted in a cardiac catheterization.” Reno insists, bulldozing past the point of professional restraint.

“Not if it wasn’t severe enough.”

“It was enough for the patient to be transferred for admission and OR to take care of it. This is a clear case of delay in proper care.”

“You’re upset that one of our doctors isn’t trigger happy with a knife? That she—” Jack looks to the chart record again, spotting a note that makes him more irritated, “That she correctly prescribed and provided anticoagulants that reduced patient discomfort and clearly instructed the patient to follow up with their PCP the next day.”

“And him being on the schedule for the upstairs OR today?”

“A week and a half after the patient’s visit to the ER. Clearly not admitted through us and yet treated in our hospital. Wonder what that could mean.” Jack bites sarcastically. “Oh yeah, that the patient followed up with their PCP and it was decided to remove the clot.”

“Dr. Abbot—“

“Stop following up on other doctors' charts. Focus on your patients. And don’t bother me with this shit again unless it's serious.” The folder is shoved unceremoniously into Reno’s chest. “Whatever beef you got against her, don’t bring it to my floor.”

It’s when Jack is halfway down the hall that another remark is called out.

“I didn’t realize you were so biased.” 

His leg aches in the socket of his prosthetic, a sign of his lowering threshold. The pulse of blood felt worse in the stub more than anywhere else. Turning, his eyes narrow.

“Excuse me?”

”You should’ve written her up. You know you should’ve.” Reno explains as Jack steps—stalks—closer. “It was a threat against another doctor. Management won’t be happy that you’ve overlooked it.”

Abbot stands before him, his chin tilting up just as his jaw clenches. “I didn’t overlook anything. I’m well aware of what happened and I’m choosing to handle it differently.” 

“You handled it wrong.”

Jack's eyes narrow. A long steadied exhale is released, like a bull catching sight of the red. “You caught me on a good day. Take a walk, Dr. Reno. If you can’t be a team player and get your shit on straight, then consider this permission to get out of the ER for the night. Your choice.”

“You can’t—“

“Make. Your choice. Before I make it for you.” 

12:17 AM

You’re on the back of a motorcycle with the wind in your hair when a phone call interrupts. Opening your eyes is like pulling yourself out of tar, but the caller ID does the hard work of taking you out of the depths of your REM cycle.

“Hello?” You ask, voice groggy and tired. 

“Sorry to be calling you so late. I know it’s your day off.” Hilly’s voice sounds on the other end of the phone. “Any chance you can come in and work an 8-hour?”

“Why? What’s going on?” You’re already sitting up in your bed, the decision to head into work practically made. 

“Reno had to head out for an emergency. We’re short one.” 

“Oh shit.” You mutter. You raise the heel of your palm to rub into your eye. “I didn’t realize I was next on the rotation.”

“You aren’t. Dr. Abbot asked for you.”

If the decision wasn’t made before, it was made now. “I’ll be there in thirty.”

“You’re the best.” Over the line, you hear from a familiar but faint voice in the background, “She coming in?”

“Yes!” Hilly calls, before turning her attention to you. “Dr. Abbot gave a thumbs up, but it was a grateful one. I can tell.”

12:52 PM

“What took you so long?” Jack calls over his shoulder, seemingly already knowing you’ve entered the ER without even glancing backward. 

You watch as the back of his head tilts up to the status board, then back down to his notes. You saddle up beside him, placing your bag onto the nurses desk for shoving into a locker later and lean against the workstation. 

“Yankees beat Pirates ten to four. I should be out on the town. You’re lucky I’m here at all.” You push back and he tuts, annoyed. Whether at you or the game, you’re unsure, but it brings a smile to your face. 

You peer into his notes. If he minds, he makes no visible sign of it.

“I’m delighted, truly. Nothing screams lucky more than watching the unit crash and burn while we wait for you to grace us with your presence.” He retorts, but there’s no venom to his bite. 

“You’re smart, Dr. Abbot. You can handle it.”

”Yeah? Then what do we pay you for?”

“PTMC needed the city flair.” You smile widely at him. 

“The shitty one?”

“The New York state of mind. The wins and all. You’ll understand when the Pirates finally fix their offense in the outfield.” 

“Don’t forget the stellar humility.” He hums, noncommittal. “And leave the Buccos out of this.”

You tilt your head at him. “You don’t like me because I’m humble.”

“Like implies affection.” He replies, easily. “Tolerate is more accurate, city girl.”

“Whatever you say, old man.” You sigh. “I get to leave early tomorrow though, right?”

“Extortion.”

“Tit for tat.” 

An announcement rings over the intercom. An inbound GSW, four minutes out. The room turns then, those settling in the front half of the floor preparing in an orchestrated chaos for the arrival. Jack grabs a pair of gloves from the box affixed to the wall, tossing them over to you before grabbing and slipping on his own. Jack finally looks over to you, his eyes doing a quick once over of you before he settles back on your face—readied, but easy. 

Seamless and still anticipation constructing your features, determination filtering in through the artful weave of your calmness. You stand sliding gloves onto your hands welcoming the impending disaster like it were an old friend.

If there were nerves to be had on you, he couldn’t find them. 

It only compounds the ridiculousness of Reno from earlier. Only furthers Jack’s unwavering lack of doubt when it comes to you. You stand awaiting the incoming trauma like you hadn’t just woken up half an hour ago, like you’ve been standing beside Jack the entire night when it should be Reno, and relief hits him like a truck. 

A semi that’s caught him like a deer in the headlights, loosens the strain that’s fixed permanently in the column of his neck, makes the ache in his shoulder pointedly less. One held breath away from feeling. 

“Thanks for coming in.” He says, suddenly serious. 

Thanks for coming when I asked, he means.

It startles you, the turn. The unexpected stoop into sincerity. Eyes bounce between his, unaware of where it comes from. He stares back, unabashed with the earnest yet otherwise unreadable. 

Nonetheless, you take what he gives you. 

“Yeah. Of course.” There is equal genuinity in your voice. You nod your head, softly. “Anything you need.” 

He nods, once. Then turns to watch the loading bay doors. “Make me proud tonight and I’ll think about Friday.”

“Getting soft on me, Dr. Abbot.” You tease, but it holds no real feet to fire. It’s not ribbing, nor is it a condemnation. Just an observation that sits between you two like a shared secret.  

“Yeah, well.” Jack shakes his head, but there’s no concealing the way his lips twitch upward. You both decide to leave well enough alone.

Turning in time with him, you pull on his surgical gown and tie it at the back. He ties your own, his hand lingering on your back when he finishes.

SHIFT FOUR, Friday-Sat, 8:47 AM:

You don’t get to leave early. 

You take a sip from the porcelain mug of lukewarm coffee you’ve taken from the breakroom and continue your endless stare into the slow revival of the world. 

The dark of the sky begins to dilute with the morning rise, the cold breeze of the spring air a welcomed remedy to your flustered skin. The benches at the park beside the hospital are uncomfortable, pointedly so. The longer you sit, the further the aches in your back that made their wonderful appearance halfway through your shift demand your attention—but this is what you need. 

A tether to reality, a removal from the endless spirals of a hurried mind. A way for your feet to finally settle on the firm, stable ground. No running, no long stretches of standing, no burning in the flex of your calves. Just dirty sneakers on the gravel, feeling some semblance of stillness even as life begins to slowly wake up around you. Hands feeling the fading warmth of the drink you hold tightly.

Birds chirp melodically as streaks of orange break up the sky. Your chest starts to feel like it isn’t on the brink of collapse from the erratic beat of your heart. You can finally breathe. 

The new day, in. The old one, out. 

“It’s not the worst of vices to have, but a sixth cup of coffee is pretty drastic. Even for my standards.”

It’s rather difficult to align your inner chakras when Jack’s voice grows closer to you.

The heavy sigh you exhale conveys exactly how you feel about it. “I’m not in the mood, Jack.”

“First name, huh?” The sound of his voice is another stabbed knife into the pantheon of wounds that decorate you today. 

“Off the clock. Formalities be damned.” You return, annoyed.

He steps in beside you, his steadied gait and imposing figure filling your periphery. A vision cladded in black scrubs that you refuse to look at. He makes no further movement, surveying you with a neutral look on his face. Not a new thing from him, and certainly not for the first time it’s happened tonight. 

Jack has a staring problem. Always watching, hawk eyes knowing things before they reach his ears. A dutiful sentinel on the floor and the subject of the running joke you have with a few of the nurses about the amount of eyes he has on the back of his head. Lisa and Hilly think there’s at least four, one for each cardinal direction. You’ve got money on the table that there’s eight pairs, minimum.

It’s his job as attending to be tuned in to everything that happens on his shift but it’s uncanny the way he notices everything. 

(“Military.” Ellis had said simply, eyes focused on charting. 

“X-ray vision.” Shen chirped with a shrug and a sip of his iced coffee. You nodded in agreement.)

It’s not a hunch, or a theory, or a girlish fantasy to say that all eight pairs of Jack’s eyes were on you tonight. He appeared out of thin air when things went sideways on your cases. Seemingly easy patients turning chaotic within the blink of an eye and each time, he was there. Beating Ellis and Shen to the punch, pulling gloves over his hands and giving his assessment in steady confidence and simple authority as he fell into step beside you.

Assisting you with perfect timing the first two times your patients coded, leading the procedures for the next one, and taking over completely on the final one. 

With his backpack slung over his shoulder and his hand shoved in the pants of his scrubs, Jack does as he’s done all night long and stares at you. Deeply, intently, unnervingly. His face betraying no tangible thought as he keeps you within his line of sight. 

And just as you’ve done all night, you keep your gaze in front of you. Fixated on the park before you.

There’s no telling if he watches out of concern for your wellbeing or others. Determining if you were a complex puzzle needing to be solved or maybe a potential bomb needing to be diffused. 

He’s got a morbid connection to the latter. All the more reason for him to stay away. 

In standard Jack fashion, he doesn’t. 

“That bad, then.” His words are light, almost blasé. It fuels a fire that you were unsuccessfully trying to stampen out. 

You scoff. “Yeah. Pretty fucking bad.”

He moves, then. Shrugging his backpack off, he places it beside the bench and sits next to you. Close, too close. Out in the open and away from the confines of sterile white walls and yet you still feel like you’re cornered. Drowning in the nearness of him, in the substantial feel of his presence.

He takes a breath before finally saying, quietly, like a man trying to tame an angered animal, “It wasn’t personal—”

“Felt personal.” You bite back, bitterly.

“You were clouded.”

Finally, your head snaps to him. Disbelief furrows in your brows. “That’s bullshit.”  

Your heated and sharpened fury meets his stoic and anchored one, looking at him for the first time since you were pushed aside in trauma three. No betrayal of guilt resides in the lines of his face, only true honesty and sincerity. 

It only makes you angrier.

“You undermined me in the middle of a procedure. In front of interns, in front of residents. This isn’t my first time around the block, Jack. It was a resection. I can do those in my sleep and you know that. This was no different.” Your head shakes incredulously, the frustration surging forward with little reservation. And while the anger is there, simmering deep in every crevice of your words, pinching your lips and narrowing your eyes, the hurt bleeds through, try as you might to hold it back. 

“You might as well have just told the whole team you think I don’t know what I’m doing. That would’ve been infinitely better than telling me to step aside.”

The corner of Jack’s lips flick downward, a sign you’ve come to understand as his clear disagreement. They purse forward as he thinks for a second. Registering the extent of your words.  

He leans his elbows on his knees. Thinking for another moment, until he says, “This isn’t New York.”

Your head pulls back in offense. “What the hell does that mean?” 

“It means you’re not alone in a department doing drastic shit by yourself because you have to, anymore. You’re here, we’re a team and in case you forgot, you’re my senior fellow. My responsibility. And I’m not going to let you drown.” 

“I-I wasn’t drowning. I had cases, they got resolved and I moved onto the next one—”

“You had four codes today.” He interrupts. “You don’t just move on from that.” 

Your breath hitches. It’s the actualization of the heavy weight, the one that’s been sitting on your chest all night. Constricting your breath, keeping your feet moving, and hands fidgeting. Somewhere in between keeping your head down and switching from one patient to the next, it hadn’t registered that he would have tucked the information away as something other than a performance metric.

A stupid notion, one clearly without any semblance of thought, because it’s Jack. 

(The Jack you’ve had all week, the one who teases as a means to compliment, who has quietly deferred to you when questions arose during procedures, who has given approving looks from the doorway over the course of the week. Jack that has brought you coffee on random occasions when the lulls have kicked in, in the mug he knows belongs to you, the one you sip at now. Jack who knows you’ve entered a room before a word comes out of your mouth. 

Jack, who is both a breath of fresh air and the halting cause of your own when the hazel of his eyes fall on yours from across a hectic room. Concern etched in the irises, a quiet check-in, a quick review of your status, before moving on to the next thing.

Jack, Jack, Jack—whose name fits too well in your mouth, that you’re too keen to speak out loud just because you want to.)

He says the truth simply. Without blame, unlike the raging guilt that courses through you. Without lecture. Words uttered incredibly soft for a man forged from fire and brimstone. 

“None of them were easy and none of them were your fault. Just really bad fuckin’ luck that they landed on you. It’s enough to weigh on anyone.” 

“My day had nothing to do with that procedure. I’ve been through worse, I can handle it.” You lie, stubbornly.

“It had everything to do with it.” He continues, holding your gaze dutifully. As though he could stare his truth into you—make you physically see his meaning. “I saw that look in your eye. You were gonna hack at that man’s body if it meant a single chance of survival.”

“Because there was a chance, Jack. If you had just let me—“

“Sepsis from secondary peritonitis. The bowel was necrotic. There wasn’t.”

“Then let me find that out! You push Shen, you push Ellis, I’ve seen you push Mohan. I get one bad day and I’m treated with baby gloves? I get kicked off a procedure? I’m a fellow, Jack. I should’ve been allowed to do my job.”

“I push when there is something to learn. He was gone the minute he rolled in through those doors. There was nothing to learn in that.”

“So I get punished for wanting to try?”

“I stepped in because you weren’t doing it for the betterment of the patient, you were doing it for yourself.” 

He renders you speechless. Your face falls from tense anger to a shattered hurt. You fall against the backing of the bench with defeat. The throat tightens in that familiar way that it’s been doing all shift. Your eyes start to sting with the swell of tears that you try to swallow down, force away before they threaten to spill. 

Still, Jack watches. Assessing, preparing, readying himself for the fall that he’d seen coming from the beginning. 

“This isn’t a question about what you can do.” He says quietly, a whisper in the wind. A reassurance uttered in the safe space between you, broken only by your shuddering breaths. “You’ve been off kilter on me since you got that little girl. I get it. No one blames you for that. You went into this one hoping you could get a save after the ones you lost. And if you want to pretend there was a chance, fine. You can sleep knowing that I made the call on this one. That this falls on me. Not you.”

And you’re smart enough to read between those lines. 

It was never about competence. It was a staged intervention. Jack’s way to release some of the pressure off of the cooking chamber that has been you all day. To place part of your burden on his shoulders.

Making sure that the four codes you were responsible for tonight didn’t turn to five.

The heat of your bruised ego simmers low, water poured onto the embers and leaving a smoking ash of your tender and fragile heart. Heavy with the stress of today, fraying from the guilt that eats at you. You turn to him, your eyes red-rimmed and burning with unshed tears that only inch forward the minute you meet his gaze. 

His focus on you isn’t intimidating. It’s a familiar shroud of comfort, a soft place to land. He listens, watches, waits. Beckoning you into him, wanting you to let go. 

“It was just like New York again, Jack. It felt like everyone I touched died.” Your voice breaks at the admission. “I can handle it, you know, when it’s bad. It sucks, but I can put it away and keep going. But today it was—these were simple ones.”

Your breath catches when you feel him move closer to you, his thigh intentionally pressing into yours. Another tether to the ground. 

You rub your hands against your face roughly. “Like what— what do you mean I lost an eight-year old to pneumonia? That’s routine, we go through that all the time. I did a year in peds for fuck’s sake. I had her— for a second I had her.”

An incredulous laugh tumbles out of your mouth. Absurdity is hardly a humorous thing and yet, it escapes with the fall of a tear that you quickly wipe away. “Then it was the dad with the DVT who just dropped on me. He was ready to be discharged. I was on him for two hours and nothing.”

“Then the car accident came in and I—I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t shake them from me. It was just one after another. And I tried but…just wasn’t good enough.”

He interrupts quickly, leaning in close to you. His voice fusing with a well-meaning reprimand, “Don’t do that. That doesn’t do anyone any good.” 

You sigh, tearfully and look to him. He’s close, close enough in your space where his shoulder is touching yours and you see how the lines on his face deepen with his intentful stare into you. It only capitulates the need to fall. 

“I know Reno’s been looking at my charts. And I know he brought it up to you.” You tell him. The careful composition of the man made of stone fractures, then. Surprised, aggrieved, almost furious. “And I guess—I don’t know. When you told me to step aside, it felt like you were believing him a little bit.”

The speed in which he dissuades the thought is comforting. “That wasn’t what that was. That’s not why I took you out.”

“I know.” And you do. But it still felt like it. 

Jack shakes his head, drilling truth into you with an emphasis that could hardly be missed. Needing you to understand exactly what he meant. “Whatever Reno thinks about you, fuckin’ forget about it. It doesn’t matter—”

“I don’t care what he thinks. He’s an idiot. And he’s from Ohio.” You scoff. “I care what you think.”

It’s his turn to be rendered silent. Not out of shock or stupor—but at the need to hold back everything that creeps up in that moment. Tiny gospels that bang against the caverns of a hollowed heart, carved empty from the brutal grip of a world that has taken too much. Truths that beg to be let out. The unnamed that claws up the soft tissue of his throat that begs to be given a name, to be heard. 

The truth is that you had been thorough all night, fast on your feet, a helping hand where needed. A forceful hurricane blazing through the trauma bay with a proficiency that justified your standing as a fellow. And Jack had an eye on you all night not because you were cracking but because he had to make sure you were still standing. Still breathing. Not as part of his job but because—

He needed to. 

And the minute he saw the slight waver, saw the way it was beginning to seep into you, he became a man of two minds. No longer able to compartmentalize. His eyes focused on the patients in front of him, his ears attuned to the sound of your voice on the other side of the room. Listening to the rises and falls like a hymn, reverent in his pious focus.

How his only way to fix all that was wrong for you was to be involved himself—handle it himself. Wedge into the web of you that’s been stretched thin and mend the cracks, bring you back to steady and safe ground. 

Bring you back to him. 

He doesn’t say any of that. Restrains the flooding thoughts with a wrangled rope and ties it hard enough to cut circulation. Ties the yearning before it makes an ample fool out of everything. 

Instead, he goes for the standard. The known truth, the easy one that lives beneath the dry teases and offhand remarks. 

“If it matters that much, you knocked it out of the fuckin’ park today. You touched more patients today than anyone else on the floor, gave excellent care in the chaos. You did damn good, today.”

Your nod is empty, tired. Dry of any attempt at human dignity. And it humors you that just a few days ago you were the one offering him comfort. 

“How’d you know how many I was on?” You ask after a moment. 

“…I was keeping count.”

“Really?”

”You drink more when you’re stressed. Like caffeine will make you focus harder.” He huffs at the surprised look on your face. “Told you. You’re my responsibility.”

“MD, therapist, dietician, and babysitter.” The laugh that comes out of you is wet. You sniffle. “Sucks to be you.”

“Most days, but not today.” You huff out a laugh and his smile slants. He flicks his head to the side. “C’mon. You need to sleep. Florida’s calling your name, God knows why.”

He stands with a grunt, working out a knot in his neck before turning and holding a hand out to you. You take it, allowing him to lift you from the bench with your own pained sigh. 

You rub at the ache on your back. “I’ll try but I’m five coffees deep—“

“—six.” He corrects.

“Six.” You repeat, feeling gently warmed at his record keeping. “Don’t think my buzz is going to let me sleep. Try to get some shut eye for me, though.”

“Don’t waste your wish on me. I don’t sleep much.”

“Do—do you wanna get some breakfast, then? I just—” The words come out before you have much cognizance to reel them in. Exhaustion and guilt and all of its disarming siblings pushing the request out. “I’m not ready to go home yet.”

Just as they hit the air, you realize how silly it is. You don’t expect him to take you up on it—too aware of the gap, the existing berth that lives loudly in between you two. 

“Yeah. Of course.” He interrupts. Says it as sure as the air he breathes. Says it without hesitation and even less reservation. As if you couldn’t have asked anything more obvious. 

“Anything you need.”

And in your colored shock, in the repeat of the words that were once aimed at him, here—that’s when you see it. Or rather, feel it. The charge, the shift, the inkling of something else.  

Something beyond your attending. Beyond the stature of the leader who knows everything, who can impart wisdom just as much as he could take it away. Beyond the monolith who pushes you to be better, that draws the lines firmly in the sand of duty and obligation, of giving it your all and knowing when to let it go. 

There, in the softness of his hazel eyes settling on yours and the small tilt of the corner of his lips pulling upward, is a man. A gentle one, with something soft wedged in the center of his steel chest that he’s torn down a wall and unlocked just to show you. 

Only you.

Something on the precipice of becoming sweet, almost ripe for picking. 

Something you don’t know the name to, yet, but can feel deep in parts previously unknown to you that you desperately want to learn more of as the sun rises on the two of you. 

SHIFT ONE, Tues-Wed, 6:48 PM

“Look at what the cat dragged in.” Dana’s smile bleeds into her voice as you step onto the floor. “Smelling of coconut and looking sunkissed.”

The familiar smell of sterile sanitizer and disinfectant is a welcome one. The pat of your sneakers on the tile floor is a familiar anthem as you enter the ER. 

You hold your hands out and bow to your awaiting crowd, “In the very flesh.”

“Surprised you don’t have a flower in your hair.” She teases, her smile growing warmer as you draw in closer.

"Thought about it but I figured that’d be bragging.”

“Indeed it would.” Dana busies herself with the final details in preparation of handoff. You come up to the desk, leaning your elbows against the surface. A quiet moment before your shift starts. “You get to stay at the beach?”

You hum, pleased. “All week. In the tiniest bikini known to man.”

“Atta girl.” She smiles.

“There’s sunshine.” Ellis calls from down the hall, and you see her approach the workstation looking like she’s already gotten a head start on her rounds. “Welcome back. How’re the nieces?”

“Too stinking cute. I got some photos you’re gonna die for.” You sigh, wistfully. “I missed them.”

“Not gonna leave us for Florida now, are you?”

“Ask me at the end of my shift.”

“Nah, she won’t.” Dana coos, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and giving your arm a loving rub. “Pittsburgh won’t force our sunshine out just yet.”

“Abbot would put a stop to that before it even started.” Ellis jests, and you raise a brow.

“What?” You ask. 

Dana ignores you, directing her stare to Ellis. “Maybe even get some people written up.”

“Maybe even put some people in a disciplinary hearing.” Ellis returns.

Your eyes bounce between the two. “Okay, what the hell don’t I know?”

“Nothin’.” Ellis smiles, turning on her heel. 

Dana pats your arm, lovingly. “Happy to have you back, sweetie.”

7:47 PM

“Hilly, I’m going to put in an order for an EKG for Mr. Breyer. You mind making sure that he’s bumped up on that one?” You tell the nurse as you both exit the exam room.

“Can do!” She chirps. 

“Oh! And—“ She turns on her heel at your call, looking at you curiously. “Did something happen while I was gone?”

Her brows furrow. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. Something with Abbot.” Understanding floods her face.  

“What have you heard?” She asks, voice dipping low.

”Just a comment. Something about a disciplinary hearing.”

”Oh my god, I can’t believe no one’s told you.” She crowds near you, excitement radiating off of her. “Not confirmed, but heavily suspected because Anna Maria heard it from Jesse who heard it from Perlah who saw Dr. Robby and Dr. Abbot talking about it. But— Dr. Abbot got Reno suspended.”

“What?” Shock raises your volume, which Hilly quickly shushes you. You lower your voice in apology, “For what?”

“Harassment. Unprofessional conduct.”

“Against who?” You ask, already suspecting the answer.

“Four people. Three nurses—” 

“Three!” You gasp. You had only known about the one incident, heard some things about from the others. But the extent remained only in what you saw in the stairwell with Anna Maria.

“All Latino. They all went to Dr. Abbot. Apparently he was keeping notes on certain racist comments made.” Your mind flickers to the image of the note he tucked into his breast pocket, and its unsurprising then that he would’ve known about it all along. 

Eight pairs of eyes always watching.

“And the fourth?” You ask, curiously.

Hilly’s eyes seem to gleam brighter when she says, “You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Dr. Abbot raised it up to Dr. Robby who raised it up to Gloria and so on.” 

“Harassment against me?” You ask again, unbelieving.

“Yeah. Something about sabotaging your performance. Depending on the source, some say he talked about some of the comments he’s heard Reno say to you or the arguments he would start in the operating rooms.  But everyone agrees—” 

Hilly pauses for a moment—whether for dramatic effect or to convey the extent of the magnitude of her next. Either way, you remain fixated on her. Waiting, watching for her. 

“—they’ve never seen Dr. Abbot angry like that.”

9:51 PM

You don’t get the chance to talk to him—officially. 

Only make him out in the background of the hectic shift, see him at the bedside of an incoming trauma before rushing into an OR, stepping in beside him and slipping the gown on to assist. 

There’s the sly comment about your absence—Hope you didn’t forget how to do your job, city girl. 

One you meet in equal time—Watch and learn, old man. 

Sly smiles exchanged, the meeting of tender glances, the return of the familiar. Into the feeling. 

He catches you at the rolling cart outside of North 12 again. A moment finally spared in the frenzy of the night that he willingly decides to lean into. He puts his good shoulder against the wall, surveying you with a steadied eye. 

“How you feeling?” He asks, but you can make in the tone that something belies the words. A veiled test, the subtle making of your person upon return to work. A gauge of what you’ve heard. 

You meet his test balloon with an easy smile. Happy, content. 

“Good.” You say to him, true and meaningful, “How are you?”

He watches for a moment before nodding, satisfied. “Good.”

There’s not much to say about what may or may not have happened while you were gone. At least nothing you trust to not lay waste to the goodness of the moment. There’s nothing to explain or be explained. 

You know why he did it. He knows you know why he did it. You both decide to leave well enough alone. Trusting each other like second nature. 

A beat passes. “D’you relax? Take photos?” 

You nod, emphatically. “Yeah. I gotta show you the ones I got from this alligator farm we took my nieces to. You’d get a kick out of it.”

“So long as you skip over the bikini ones.” A smile etches on his face. Loose and light, the same familiar song and dance. 

“C’mon. You don’t even want to take a peek?”

“Not unless you want to keep me up at night.” He raises a brow. “You can keep your Florida sunburns to yourself.”

“Well, just picture my screams, then. That always puts you to bed, right?”

“Not this time, it won’t.”

You take it to mean that the image of your body will scar your attending, which forces a scoff out of your mouth. Rolling your head to him, you intend to make faux hurt known. But, in meeting his gaze, you see something else entirely. 

A toiling knowing that runs the quip on your tongue dry. It’s that something from before, tainted with a depth that you haven’t seen from him. 

The air heats slowly, flint to stone igniting the mutuality of piqued interest. 

For a second you realize that maybe, the heavy gap that you’ve always figured lies between you two wasn’t so hefty from the extent of the said differences in life and experiences—but heavy for another reason altogether. For all the things left unsaid.

It brings an image to your mind—one that has entered into the realm of consciousness on nights where alcohol has made you too loose and latent desires infiltrate the privacy of sleep. 

An image of you and him.

Rough, calloused hands running over flustered skin. Tugging shirts off, stripping pants down, pulling panties to the side to take a peek. The heat of his breath fanning over the side of your neck, the pads of his fingers swiping through the wet. Circling, playing, a tease whispered in a husky tone just before he—

Your breath shudders. 

“Welcome back.” Jack says lowly, turning on his heel and trekking down the hall. 

a/n: of course it would be a a traumatized forty-nine year old man that would break my eight month hiatus. my first dip into this man, and i want more

let me know your thoughts!

[nighttimealone]

Cw: Nsfw (Dilf!Simon, your next door neighbor, reader’s around early 20s, Simon’s around late 30s~early 40s) pt.2

Just retired and move into a new flat, Simon doesn’t expect someone to knock on his door when he’s unpacking his belongings. With slight annoyance, he opens the door and try to dismiss whoever is out there.

His annoyance vanishes quickly when he lays eyes on you, young, gorgeous, gazing up at him with a baggy shirts barely cover the sweat-shorts. The simple apron on the outside looks incredible on you, the fabric of it rises and taut around your chest. Greeting him with a grin and hand him a plate of biscuits. A welcome gift for the new neighbor, you explain to him before leaving with a wave, hips swaying tantalizingly as you saunter back to your flat and close the door behind you.

He becomes closer to you each day, helping you without a word when one day he hears noises from the staircase outside, swings open the door of his flat and discovers you struggling with the heavy groceries bags. When you sheepishly knock on his door again, holding a screwdriver and fidgeting it, telling him you have some issues with assembling the new bookshelf you bought, he already starts his steps and walks into your flat, finish the work in minutes while you circling around cutely and trying to help like a desperate puppy.

To express your thankfulness to him, you invite him to have dinner with you, become a habit of yours when he shoots you a glance with a ‘Not bad.” but devours your home cooked meal like a man starved for days.

Sweet, beautiful girl, a year before graduating from college, expressing your insecurity about your future when he hinted that you can share your worries with him—a person who has much more experience than you— a while ago, he provides some insight and rational advice, swallowing back the words he’s been thought about for months now: Slide the silver ring on your ring finger with his name name engraved on it, makes you his missus and away from all shites the society is boiling everyday. A man alone for years and has low material desires, he has the money to take care of and spoil you without any hesitation.

He’s been fisting his cock whenever he hears your moans coming from the other aide of the wall. Hell, you don’t know how shitty and thin the walls are, the soundproof ability of them is imperceptible when it comes to louder sounds. Simon listens closely to the sounds, closing his eyes, head leans back on the armchair, trying to imagine how you must be right now. Hands in sync of the squelchy sounds of you pumping your fingers in and out of that soaked pussy. His cock’s so huge, even his own palms are just big enough wrapped around the girth, and an obscene growl left his lips as your whimpers and moans turn higher and sultrier, definitely look like a goddess when you’re weeping tears, stuffing your cunny full and craving for the release. But when you finally tumble over the edge, he snaps his eyes open and groans the second his name comes out of your mouth with such honeyed tone, crying his name in need and suppressed desire.

Simon jumps up from the armchair, heavy cock forming an obvious tent when he shoves open his door and knocks on yours impatiently. “Wait-Wait me a second…!” your voice hits his ears with trembles that can’t be left unnoticed.

“ 'S what you want, love? getting bent over by a man older than you and fucked stupid? Is that so, princess?” He squeezes himself through the crack of your door, kicking it close and pinning your upper body on the shoe cabinet beside the door, your legs dangling in the air as he drives the fat tip into your entrance ferociously, tight cunt still spasming from your orgasm and makes him grunts out a curse, “Fucking screaming my name when you touch yourself, hmm? you know you can come to me anytime you need something, like I told you before.”

He gets you cry out in pleasure without any concern of receiving complaints from other neighbors, wrapping your legs back and standing between your wide-spread thighs, leaning his weight on your back while his hips rocks unrelentingly. “No more, no more…Simon!” You clenching down on his shaft so nice and hot, milking him loads after loads, the angry tip of his cock abusing every spots inside you, and your legs are shaking uncontrollably when he finally comes one last time, satiated both your needs for now, and you the last thing you feel before succumbing to slumber is a gentle kiss pressing on your twitching, overstimulated clit as his seeds flood out of your swollen pussy.

The relationship between you and him deepens since that night,and he doesn’t stop you or protest when you wear the low-cut top and cute skirt, semi-transparent thigh high stockings keeps attracting his attention to stare at the bare skin of your thighs between them and the skirt, and wave goodbye at him with an apologetic expression before heading off to a party with your college friends. He knows the importance of these social activities between youngsters, so he didn’t get mad or upset, just kiss your temple, reminded you to stay safe and call him whenever you need, then he’d be there in no time.

You sure will turn heads wherever you go tonight, and though there might be some troublesome wankers trying their luck on you, but he knows you won’t even spare them anything beside a polite nod of rejection. You’re all his, you won’t feel the same bliss and love from those young blokes of your age. No one can make you feel as good as he does, they can’t make you squirt all over the floor when he eats you out at the countertop, no one knows how to lower and disperse all your concerns and thoughts like him, with his tongue lapping your perked buds and that long cock massaging your cervix, coaxing countless orgasms out of you before you fall asleep in his embrace contently.

So when you ring him just about 2 hours later, asking if he can come pick you up at the club, he immediately hops in to his truck, pulls up at the location you texted him. He doubts how your breasts haven’t spilled out your low cut tops, but he’s definitely enjoying the view, your cheeks burning from the alcohol, pawing at his shirt and whining about how you missed him, how boring the party was and you just wanted to go home and bounce on his dick through your tipsy state.

Good that Simon parked his truck at a secluded spot, so you don’t need to wait any longer, let him bend you over the hood and kneel down behind you, tongue shoving deep inside, occasionally pulls out and prodding at your pussy to calm you down from keep pleading him to just fuck you already and rubbing his bulge when he just wants to drive you home first. “Will give you the cock you’ve been thinking all night when we’re home, sweetheart.” He speaks against your slick pussy lips before diving back to lick every drop of your sugary juices again.

[helenanell]

Fall On Me Like Night || Remmick

Remmick x f!reader

This is Part Two of Butchered Tongue

Summary: After he denies you and leaves you both in agony, Remmick returns to beg on his knees.

Notes: Angst, sexual tension, blood & gore, kissing, steamy touches, vampiric turning, Remmick literally begs for her on his knees.

WC: 4.9k

Tagging people who interacted with the first part ❤️ : @thelovelyprism @d4rk3lf @operation-spot (whose comment provided inspiration for this part) @savy-luvs-dilfs @cqsmo @primroseprime2019

The night after your encounter with Remmick, you did not go to the bar to sing. 

As if to fill the silence of your evening, the cicadas took up their own song, the rhythmic buzz agitating the humid air. You felt it against your skin, which had sweat beading upon it, rolling down your back, soaking into the fabric of your dress at the divot of your spine.

As the sun began to set, you realised the clock on top of the mantelpiece had ceased to tick. It was an old thing brought over from London and you knew how to fix it. You didn’t. While you waited for Remmick, you allowed time to stand still.

And that’s what you were doing, no matter how you tried to deny it. Waiting. Restlessness had you wandering around your home, body tight with anticipation. Just to see him again and to know you had not conjured him in your misery, your longing for companionship and for your father’s home made flesh in the form of him.

But he had denied you. He had thrown you away from his body like you were hot to the touch.

 If he felt as you did, he would return, but you would not make it easy. If you were to cross into death with him, he would have to pay your toll. You would demand a golden coin; a Charon’s obol, that he would need to place in your mouth. 

He needed to feed you before he had his turn.

When night chased away the vestiges of light, he came. A knock, light on the wood but heavy with promise. 

You pulled open the door and there he stood, in the same clothes as the night before. He looked more unkempt than he had then, his shirt was rumpled, hair messy. One of his suspender straps was slipping down his arm. 

You did not know if he had to sleep, but you doubted it. Was it the time and distance between you two that had left him dishevelled as it had you? Or had he been taking his pleasures in other ways? 

Remmick considered your form in a thin, linen dress, gaze so attentive it was as if he was trying to identify every single stitch that held it on your body. Then he smiled at you, beaming brighter than the sun he fled from. 

‘Miss, will you take pity on a weary traveller?’

‘I’d wager that since you wandered into it, it’s this town that deserves the pity.’

Remmick’s tongue darted out to wet his lips. ‘Are you wanting commiserations for yourself then, lass? As part of the town you also have to suffer me.’ 

You crossed your arms over your chest, as if that could do anything to guard against him. ‘I was ready for you to fall on me in whatever way you wished, in suffering or in bliss.’ You said, voice hardening. ‘You fled’

He held up a finger and pointed it at you, expression aggrieved. ‘You didn’t know what you were askin’ for.’ 

‘Am I to believe that you are an altruistic man? You professed your desire to have me, why deny yourself?’

‘Deny you, you mean?’ Remmick said heatedly. You waited for the red to overtake his eyes in anger, but it did not come. ‘Don’t kid yourself, darlin’, your invitation was about more than our shared heritage, you are tortured by your own desire. I can even hear it in your damn songs!’

‘Why did you turn away from what we both want, then? And don’t give me that shit about needing me to understand what I was asking for first. I knew of your darkness before you flashed your eyes or bared your teeth at me.’

Remmick eyed you dangerously. ‘You want to be hurt, is that it? If you’re looking for a painful end I will not give it. I told you, we will become one, you will not hurt when I have you.’ 

‘Neither will you.’ You stated it as if you were certain, but part of you still questioned. 

Did he truly understand all that you ached and yearned for? All that you felt you had lost before you were able to take full possession of it? Or was this a masterful trick?

 If he truly had been alive for as long as he claimed, would he even have to try to deceive you? Or was it a finely honed instinct?

Remmick’s eyes had yet to leave yours, as if he sought the future you spoke of in your eyes. As if he wanted a glimpse of an existence where he was no longer alone, severed from humanity and suffering wounds that could never heal.

‘I have not felt shame in centuries, but I did when I turned away from you. I betrayed myself in the act.’ His words were spoken with such intensity, it was as if they added yet more heat to the air between you. 

 That was it. He was asking, in his way, for you to let him in. To end the torment and begin his true eternity, with you and him as one.

Your hands itched to reach out for him, your tongue heavy with the invitation it held ready. But, after the harm he inflicted when he had thrown you aside, you would make him earn it.

‘Tell me a story, Remmick.’ You said. 

‘What?’

‘That is my one and only condition.’

He tilted his head and smiled teasingly. ‘Do you want to hear of pixies and Will the wisp? Or maybe something from your home? Black Shuck, the ghost dog, is said to stalk the grey coastline of England, isn’t he?’

‘I don’t want myths or fairy tales, I want a story of your life. A true one.’ 

The smile fell and his gaze hardened. Remmick bit his lip before he answered as if forcibly trapping harsh words inside himself.

 ‘You’re asking for a nightmare then.’ He ground out.

You took in the way he held himself: rigid, standing utterly still, as if he was so riddled with cracks that he feared one wrong move would have him shattering completely. You stepped forward, your feet encroaching on the threshold. His eyes shot down to the way you were half out of the doorway and his hands flexed at his sides.

‘The life you had before, in Ireland. Tell me a story of your joy, before the Empire came.’ You asked, expression softening. 

You wanted him to give to you freely, not feel as though you were a pickpocket of what few happy memories he carried around with him.

Remmick shook his head and took a step back. ‘You demand a piece of my trapped soul.’  He said hoarsely.

Your body begged to follow him, to step out onto the porch, but you stopped yourself and called out to him instead. ‘You said when we are joined, I will know it all. I want you to choose something to give me first.’

Remmick offered you a bitter smile. ‘So, it’s a declaration of my honourable intentions you’re seeking?’

‘This is a courtship, Remmick, bloody and damned, but a courtship all the same. So…court me.’ 

Remmick chuckled darkly, but there was detectable strain. Turmoil. ‘Are you a blushing, cloistered maiden? Do you require honeyed words to make you soft and pliable for me?’ 

‘If I am to give all of myself to you, you will earn it and if you don’t care to try, I know you to be false. Are you gluttonous, or will you savour me?’ 

Remmick surprised you then. Instead of letting his agitation grow, or fleeing once more, he dropped to his knees before you. He lifted his hands but let them fall again, as though you were a sacred statue he prostrated himself before, seeking salvation, one he couldn’t desecrate with his touch.

 ‘I will hold you on my tongue for so long that you melt like butter, I will never tire of tastin’ you, but do not ask this of me.’ He begged.

Disappointment spread its roots in your chest. ‘Why not? If I will know it as soon as we are one, then why?’ 

Remmick dropped his head, eyes on the ground. ‘Some pain can’t be spoken of.’ 

‘I asked you for your joy, a good memory.’ You whispered.

‘When you’ve lived as long as I have, the distance makes all memories hurt.’ He answered, almost numbly.

‘So you refuse?’ 

He looked up at you then, the fire in his eyes stoked at the sound of your own fury, pupils red and glowing. ‘I beg you not to ask. I beg you to let me in. Think of how beautiful it will be, our eternal union.’ 

Although it pained you, you shook your head. ‘I can’t give my life for what might be a lie, as pitiable as that life is. I need to trust you and I don’t.’ 

Anger and frustration truly boiled over then, but oh how close it looked to desperation when worn on his face; an animal backed into a corner ‘You would send me away after all we’ve shared?’

‘We’ve shared nothing, it’s been a seduction on both our parts. I want something less fickle, Remmick.’ You said. 

Still on his knees, he glared up at you, the red of his eyes fading. ‘I spoke to you of my home, my pain and my solitude, that was not lust.’

‘You told me your pain exists, you have not let me know it.’ 

‘You haven’t exactly been forthcomin’ yourself. Speak to me of your parents, that lecherous bastard Benny said they were dead and rottin’? Tell me of your Irish daddy who taught you rebel poems.’ He demanded, rising to his feet to peer down at you.

‘I will, when you meet my condition.’ you answered, voice wavering, ‘If you can’t, then I don’t want this. I won’t bind myself to a forever stranger.’ 

‘Darlin’, please-‘

‘Decide if I’m worth it, Remmick, or you’re never getting in.’ 

When he had denied you the night before, he had left you in limbo, lashed by an unforgiving wind and you could only hope he felt a fraction of it when you closed the door on him.

It took the span of a maddening, excruciatingly long week, but he did crawl back to you. He stood on his two feet, but in all ways that mattered, he dragged himself through the mud to make it. 

Remmick returned after seven days of being at war with himself. Such conflict and uncertainty in a man who had lived through the rise and fall of nations.

When you stepped out of the bar, once again the last to leave, Remmick was waiting. Across the street, his eyes glowed in the darkness of the alley, twin stars burning violently in the night, navigation for your journey.

 The heady smoke of the bar and its many intoxicants hung heavy around you, but it was his presence that made you feel delirious. 

‘Those no good drunks don’t deserve you.’ His voice came out of the shadows first, then followed by the silhouette of him. It appeared without detail, just a shape shrouded by velvet cloth. ‘They don’t appreciate what they hear.’ 

‘They appreciate me well enough.’ You called back, heart already in your throat. He had come back. You hadn’t driven away your chance at peace.

‘Oh, there’s no missin’ the beauty of you darlin’. I speak of our songs.’ He said, still taunting you by keeping himself shrouded in the darkness. 

‘I don’t need those drunkards to listen to me, I sing to remember, to honour the dead.’ 

‘Would you sing to honour a wretched ghost like me?’ 

You couldn't help but smile. ‘You’re no ghost. Step out of the darkness, Remmick.’ 

‘I’ll never be able to do that, but I’ll attempt the impossible to get closer to you.’ 

Remmick appeared out of the alley, still wearing the same clothes, but instead of dishevelled state, they were a canvas of violence. His entire front was drenched in blood, his mouth and jaw smeared with the evidence of his feasting. 

You felt no terror or disgust as you should have, just an affirmation that he was something inhuman. Atemporal and otherworldly. Ravening desire with a charming smile. And he wanted you to be fused to his very being.

 Your blood thrummed with the promise of it all.

You had encountered myths and legends of such creatures throughout your life. A well-worn copy of Dracula had resided on your father’s shelf. You had read it cover to cover more than once and as you looked at Remmick, stained with the life of another, you felt no fear. Words from the novel came to mind: 

‘Loneliness will sit over our roofs with brooding wings.’ 

Remmick was loneliness that knocked on your door with an aching heart and trapped soul. And while he was consumptive, you could not think of him as a sickness, just a symptom of suffering.

‘Who met the sharp end of your hunger tonight?’ You nodded  at the alley behind him and the body that its darkness no doubt held.

He grinned, baring blood-slick teeth. ‘Well, our mutual friend Benny, of course. Taught him some manners.’

‘I’m sure he’ll go to his grave appreciating your instruction.’ 

Remmick scoffed. ‘Nothin’ worth burying. Would be like digging a hole for a lump o’ coal.’ He began to stalk closer to you, crossing the street with smooth, powerful movements. ‘Do you like the sight of it, sweet girl? His suffering painted all over me?’

You began to back away. Not out of trepidation, fearing he’d strike if you moved too quickly, but because having him tethered to your every little movement was intoxicating. He was your reflection in that moment, perfectly aligned.

‘You should suffer too.’ You stated calmly.

Remmick’s eyebrows lifted. ‘Oh? How’s that?’ 

You kept walking back, moving down the street and when you quickened your pace he matched you immediately. 

‘Benny grabbed me, but you threw me down onto my porch. Why should you escape punishment?’ 

Potent desire encroached on him, visible in his eyes and deepening his voice to a thunder-like rumble. ‘My punishment is the distance between us.’

‘You placed it there.’ You said. ‘You denied me.’ 

‘I denied myself.’ He insisted. 

You believed him, could see how he was riddled with deprivation, as if it had left his very bones porous and weak. You felt it too.

‘So, will you submit to my condition?’ you felt dizzy in asking, so close to the promised unification of your two beings; an alleviation of your pain.

Remmick hummed, as if he’d tasted the effect he had on you in the air. ‘Yes, love. I will bare this shackled soul to you. I will tell you a true story and you will let me in.’

You stopped moving then. Hope was a suffocating hand around your throat. Remmick stopped too, but it was clumsy, his boots scuffing the dirt as if it had taken force to stop himself from moving towards you. 

Without another word, you strode forward. He did not match you, did not move at all. He was transfixed on you as you stopped before him. 

‘Swear it will be the truth. That what you tell me, the memory you share, will be real.’ 

Remmick did not even blink. ‘I would not desecrate this by beginning it with a lie.’

‘Will you ever lie to me?’ 

‘Once we’re joined it will be impossible. There’ll be no hidin’, for either of us.’ 

Tentatively, you reached out and took his bloody hands in your own, almost scared he truly was an apparition and your touch would pass through him. But it didn’t and with Remmick watching you attentively, you started to walk.

 Just as you turned your back to lead him onward, Remmick pulled you into him, forcing your back flush with his chest. Your startled gasp got caught in your throat when his other hand wrapped around your waist, pressing a bloody handprint to the flower patterned fabric that covered your stomach. 

‘Oh, to dance with a beautiful girl under the light of the moon.’ He whispered into your ear.

‘This isn’t dancing.’

In answer, Remmick began to sway his hips and took you with them, rocking you from side to side in the cradle of his body, hand still on your stomach. His bit into your shoulder, not with his razor-sharp fangs, but it was deadly all the same to have your skin in his jaws. You let out a needy sigh and he moaned into you, teeth pressing into the fabric of your dress.

‘Remmick, don’t make me wait any more.’ You pleaded, reaching back to place your palm on his cheek. He hummed contentedly before releasing your shoulder and dropping a kiss onto it. 

‘Lead the way.’ He mumbled.

The rest of the walk passed like an odd dream; strangely paced and hard to make sense of. His hands never left you and by the time you reached your porch, traces of Benny’s blood had been smeared over the rest of your dress from Remmick’s wandering hands. 

Without the need for discussion, you both stopped before the front door and turned to face each other. When you did unlock it, it would be to bring him inside with you.

Remmick smiled at you fondly, the first sign of true tenderness you had seen on his face. It made your heart race. 

‘If you were my bride, I’d carry you over the threshold.’ 

‘Is that what I am, your bride?’ You asked, almost too quietly. The cicadas began to click and buzz, creating a rhythm for the two of you.

‘We will be eternally bound, darlin’, and you know how it goes, ‘what he hath joined together, let no man tear asunder.’’

You laughed softly. ‘The man of the night is a man of God?’

‘Oh no, I will join us together, not a distant, indifferent deity. We will not only be one flesh but one mind.’ He said, eyes sparkling.

‘An unholy sacrament then.’ 

Remmick closed what little distance there was between you and took your face in his hands, thumbs running over your cheeks. It transferred more blood, but you didn’t care.

 ‘My darlin’, to me we are something most holy, but our worship will not be to God, just each other.’ 

You had never felt so overwhelmed with the need to curl yourself into another person, to erase the edges of yourself so that you didn’t end or begin except as part of him. And yet, the tiniest kernel of trepidation remained. You gently pulled his hands from your face.

‘How do I know your words are true, Remmick? If I am prey you relish chasing, will I become nothing to you after you’ve taken me between your teeth?’

‘You will become everything.’ He said voice reverent, as though uttering a vow. 

‘Will I be subsumed into what you are? I want to feel whole, not diminished. I don’t want to get lost again, not like I am now.’ 

Remmick ducked his head, forcing you to properly meet his eye, he held no anger or irritation, just unfettered determination. ‘You will be found, that I promise you. Think of how glorious it will be together forever, in mind and in body. You want that, I know you want that.’   

Whether it was his words themselves or the way he was looking at you, you surrendered yourself to him in that moment. 

‘Tell me your story, Remmick.’

He nodded and began to speak. ‘When I was a boy, my mother was always singin’. Even when I knew she wanted to cry she would do it, because it was my swaddling, something she had always wrapped around me for comfort. We had nothing, or next to nothin’ which amounts to the same thing. But always with an empty belly and cracked and bleedin’ hands from labour, she never faltered.’ 

His voice grew thick with remembrance and when he reached for you again, you let him. He took your hands in his and kept going.

‘When she died…silence was my grief. I couldn’t stand it, didn’t know how to exist without it. Maybe that’s why I began to sing and play strings. I think part of me thought that her songs, passed down through generations of our family, would bring her back. I wanted to breathe life into her again so that I wouldn’t be alone. When I started to forget the words, it was like she was dyin’ all over again. Hundreds of years old and I was an orphan boy once more. I can no longer recall her face, but I remember the tunes well enough. I play them when I can.’

He sended with a slow exhale, eyes on your joined hands. You had no words, or could not find adequate ones to express your gratitude, or to tell him how close it felt to your grief for your father. And he had only been gone for a few years. 

Thankfully, Remmick seemed to take all he needed from touching you. He squeezed your hands and then met your gaze. ‘You have your own pain. Let me in and I’ll make it all better.’

Reluctantly, you pulled your hands from his and unlocked the front door. With your eyes set  on him you pushed it back, the creak of the hinges the only sound between the two of you besides the cicadas.

Remmick had gone utterly still, as if the slightest movement would have you flinching, running into your home without letting him follow. 

You knew you could not do that. To deny him now, would be to deny yourself. 

‘Remmick, come inside.’ 

In a flash, he had you gathered up into his arms, hands below your ass as he rushed you both inside. He made an almost inaudible noise in the back of his throat as he kicked the door closed behind you, it was a groan of pleasure that you felt in your bones.

Still held by him, you cradled his cheeks and moved to kiss him. Pain wracked your body when he pulled away, but his eyes were just as entranced and needy as your own. He looked down at your bodies, covered in Benny’s blood.

‘I won’t have him be part of this.’ 

Remmick did not want your union sullied by the blood of that man. Understanding, but impatient, you sighed and dropped your head to his shoulder. He chuckled and ran a hand over the back of your head before setting you down on the ground. 

Too lost to speak, you walked into the kitchen, knowing he would be right behind you. 

Moonlight bathed the room in its ethereal glow and when you went to the sink to turn on the tap, the water sparkled too. As quickly as you could, you scrubbed at your hands with soap, watching crimson swirl down the drain, then you splashed some more over your cheeks, cleaning them too.

You looked over your shoulder and found Remmick watching you with something that bordered on awe. You nodded your head at the sink and he understood your silent order. He appeared by your side, bodies brushing as he cleansed the violence from himself.

When you stepped away to grab a clean cloth off the nearby clothes rack, his eyes tracked you. You placed the cloth on the side of the sink and then reached out to tug his suspenders down his arms.

‘Take off your shirt.’ 

Remmick bit his lip, swaying forward as if he wanted to take you then and there. But, with notable effort, he stopped himself. Maintaining eye contact, he undid his buttons, revealing a toned chest, pale but beautiful in the moonlight. 

Once the garment was dropped to the ground, you realised the tap was still running and picked up the cloth to soak it. When you pressed it to the flesh just below his neck and began to wipe away the blood, you could not focus on the task, instead watching the beads of water roll down his stomach, gathering at the waistband of his trousers.

‘You still with me, love?’ the ragged murmur drew your eyes to his and felt a surge of heat within you at how ruined he seemed, how close to collapsing at your feet.

All you could do was smile and once his chest was clean, you leant forward and placed a kiss on his clavicle, letting it linger long enough that he shuddered.

The whole thing felt like the preparation for a ritual.

Feeling weak in the knees yourself, you looked to one of the wooden chairs by the kitchen table and nodded at it. ‘Sit down.’

‘Yes ma’am.’ 

Heartbeat erratic and skin flushed, your rinsed the cloth, wringing it out a few times before wetting it again. You shut off the tap and made your way over to Remmick. 

All you had to do was to look at his legs to have him opening them. You stepped between his thighs and focused on his grinning mouth, still stained with red. 

You leant forward and began to wipe the flaking blood away and when you purposefully let the pads of your fingers brush his lips, Remmick nipped at them with his still human teeth. The desire in his eyes was something unearthly. 

‘What does it feel like? The change?’ You asked.

Remmick reached out to take hold of your hips. ‘Feels like everything stops. Deadened wind, frozen tides, the world no longer spins. The soul is something held inside, trapped in amber, no longer a living thing and yet still it screams.’ 

‘That sounds like torment.’ 

‘It is.’ He whispered. 

‘And you want that for me?’ 

‘It will not be that for us. Once we’re joined together, my soul will not be trapped, it will be free, within you. You will be my eternal, blessed reprieve.’ Your breath caught in your throat as he moved his hands to grab the hem of your blood-smeared dress, the pads of his fingers brushing your skin as he began to gather it up. ‘Let's get you out of this dirty thing.’ 

Without the need for further encouragement, you took hold of the hem and pulled the dress up over your head, leaving you only in your thin shift.

‘How could I ever miss the sun with you before me?’ Remmick groaned and then he had your hips again, pulling you to sit on his lap. 

You dropped the cloth to the ground beside your dress and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, fingers running through the hair at the nape of his neck before you pulled his mouth on yours. It was bruising, but in a way that affirmed your existence, that told you the pleasure of it couldn't possibly be imagined. His tongue licked into your mouth and you returned in kind.

The two of you only pulled away when your lungs ached for breath, with both of your lips plump and wet with each other, Remmick took in your dishevelled state and you felt him grow needier still, hardening beneath you. 

‘Remmick-’

‘I know.’ He shushed you. ‘I won’t leave you waitin’ long, but I want us joined together first. Then I will take you however your heart desires.’ 

You trembled with unmet desire and anticipation as Remmick pulled the straps of your shift lower, dragging them down your arms until the neckline dropped to bare breasts to him. He leant in to gently kiss one of the raised buds, before taking it into the heat of his mouth. 

Your head fell back at the feel of him kissing his way over your chest. When his mouth hovered above your breast, right above your heart, you knew what he was asking. One last chance to change your mind. 

You placed your hands on his shoulders, digging your fingers in as if to preemptively embed yourself into him. 

‘It’s time.’ Remmick whispered against your skin, then placed another kiss there.

‘Do it.’ You uttered breathlessly. 

When Remmick’s sharpened teeth sank into your flesh, it was as though your minds collided.

Through his memories, you saw what your broken heritage had obscured: your father’s home, your ancestors home when or it was free. 

To think the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen came with eternal damnation. But that damned state was not in hell, it was to walk in darkness with Remmick’s mind and soul known to you and yours to his. That felt like salvation.

What you also knew was that he had longed for you for weeks before he had approached you that evening, soothing his trapped soul with the sound of you singing as he lingered in the darkness beyond the bar. 

And he knew that you had never felt peace until he’d touched you. Until he’d killed you.

It was a death that made discernment of the separateness of your bodies impossible. You would never feel alone again, not with his soul in you and yours in his.  

That night your bodies stayed physically entwined for hours before you extricated yourselves, but there was no stretch of time that could ever part you.

‘I wanna run so far, I’d beat the morning

Before the dawn has come, I’d block the sun

If you want it done

Let all time slow, let all light go

I don’t need to know where we begin and end

I’d still know, not being shown you

I only need the working of my hands’

De Selby (Part 2) - Hozier

[lieslab]

If we could only turn back time

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Chan X gn reader

Summary: After a Dispatch article leaks, your betrayed boyfriend kicks you out of your shared apartment and you're silenced in the worst way possible.

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 5.1K

Trigger warning: Misunderstood trope, physical assault, anger, yelling, a car accident, plus graphic descriptions of physical injuries, and doctors/hospitals.

A/N: I had three hours of sad One Direction music, one request, and a dream. Requestee, you asked for angst and I have given it my all. I hope this meets every expectation and more <3

_ _ _

You were the light of Bang Chan’s life. At least, that’s what he thought. For months, his love grew for you. Over time, he opened up more and more. You crawled into his heart and made yourself at home. 

And then you tore it open. 

He thought he finally had the love of his life, but it turns out, you were just like the others. Not really loving him, but dragging along, clinging onto clout, and when the next man came, you jumped with both feet. You didn’t even say goodbye, but neither did he. 

There was no warning for either of you. One day, the two of you were head over heels for each other. The next, everything fell apart. Hearts cracked like stained glass. Tears fell, but the words from both of you didn’t provide the comfort the other so desperately craved. 

In the end, two hearts ripped apart. The world tipped in the wrong direction. You both lost your footing and for weeks, nothing would be the same for either of you, ever again. 

~ ~ ~ 

When you came home from buying groceries, the apartment was quiet, like usual. Chan’s warm presence had been gone since this morning. Up at the crack of dawn, he disappeared to continue making his dreams come true. 

You missed him when he was gone, just as he missed you, but dreams were important. No matter what happened between the two of you, it was the one thing you both agreed that it was important. No matter where your life took you, the most important thing was keeping focused on your dreams. 

Yes, the two of you were in love, but that wasn’t stopping either of you from pursuing your passions. Not yet engaged, the two of you vowed to be supportive of each other. Through thick and thin, in the risky moments, and everything in between; you swore to be there for one another. 

Your bare feet glided across the tile floor with ease. Without Chan, the apartment felt empty, but that didn’t stop you from trying to make it feel warm and fuzzy. Over on the side counter, you turned on the candle warmer. Maybe by the time Chan got home, the apartment would be full of a welcoming vanilla buttercream. 

You swore his cologne had hints of vanilla. He disagreed with you and insisted you didn’t know your scents. Just to prove a point, you bought the vanilla candle, and yet, he refused to see it.

He could be stubborn like that sometimes. Certain things he couldn’t see. No matter how hard and how obvious you attempted to make these things, he refused to see them. Sometimes, it was more frustrating than anything, but you learned to deal with every part of him; the good and the bad. 

You had your own set of flaws, too. Out of everyone existing in the world, there was nobody that you wanted to be with more than Chan. The two of you were still so young. There was a lifetime of adventures and fun to have. You were hoping the relationship between the two of you would last forever. 

It ended when Chan stormed through your front door. The bang of the front door slamming against the sidewall sent your heart racing. You grabbed a can of peas for defense and held your breath. 

Footsteps stormed through your living room. Your fingers turned pale around the can. A sigh of relief fell from you when you saw the furrow on Chan’s face. “Holy shit, you scared the crap out of me. What’s wrong, baby? What happened?” 

You put down the can and walked towards him. Your hands stretched out to grab his face. To your surprise, he swatted them away. Your eyes widen at the faint sting. “What are you-” 

“You don’t get to baby me after what you did!” 

“I-I did something? What did I-” 

“Shut up! You don’t get to pretend like you don’t know! You know I’ve felt like a piece of shit because I can’t be here twenty-four-seven! You know I travel for work and yet you still choose to hurt me in the worst way possible!” 

Confusion filled your face and it just pissed him off more. He jerked his Samsung phone from his pocket. You watched as he typed in the password. Your actions from the past few days rolled through your head like stop-motion. Each silent click, more scenes filled your head. 

None of them stood out. You couldn’t recall what you did wrong, but Chan was furious. Your mouth opened, but words didn’t come out. He flipped the screen to find the bold words of a Dispatch article. Your heart hit the ground with a sickening splat. 

Trouble in paradise: A Rocky Road Ahead For Stray Kids’ Bang Chan’s Romantic Relationship. 

Attached, two photos of you grinning at another JYP idol from another group. In one, you were waving at them. In another, you were leaning over and hugging them. 

“It’s not what it looks like!” 

“Really? Because you know what it looks like to me? It looks like you were attempting to hide a close relationship with someone in a younger group.” 

“That’s not true! Chan, it’s Dispatch! You can’t possibly believe that I-” 

“I want you out of my apartment.” 

Your face fell at his words. “You…you wouldn’t. Please, just let me explain and I-” 

“When have you ever talked about him? Never! You’ve never been close to another idol! Yet now, you’re hugging him?” 

“Chan, please!” 

“Get out!” 

“But-” 

“Out!” His voice raised. “Get your stuff and get the fuck out of my apartment! Don’t bother coming back!” 

The words were loud enough to frighten you. You left the grocery bags scattered on the kitchen island and took off. Tears filled your eyes. You wanted to explain, but he kept cutting you off. 

Too heated to think about the situation, his insecurities got the best of him. In the kitchen, he slumped against the counter with his head in his hands. Warm tears filled his eyes at the sound of your sniffles. 

He wanted to comfort you, but the hurt was too much. He grew to love you with everything he had and within one Dispatch article, his swollen heart popped. How could you do this to him? After everything the two of you had been through, why did you have to ruin it? 

Tears blurred your vision and you didn’t look back. You jerked items from the closet and tossed them in your suitcase. Grabbing handfuls from each of your dresser drawers, you tossed them in with everything. Even the toiletries, you didn’t have time to organize them. 

Chan wanted you to go, so you’d leave. At the end of the day, this was his apartment. You paid rent, but his name was the first on the contract. He paid the down payment, not you. 

You gave him one last desperate look as you passed by, but he didn’t see it. His name fell from your mouth in a weak croak, but he didn’t pull his hands from his eyes. “Please, just go away.” 

You spun around, gripped your suitcase tighter, and then you did. 

~ ~ ~ 

All night, you drove around without a destination in mind. You refused to call one of Chan’s members and plead for help. It’d only stir up drama in the group. That was the last thing you wanted. 

Numbness hung over your head. You still couldn’t believe everything that happened a few hours ago. If he would have listened, he would have understood. The tears dried up a while ago, but the empty feeling in your chest didn’t go away. 

Seoul’s late afternoon crept into another dark night. Gray blotted skies drifted into a pitch black. Neon lights reflected off the paint on your car, but the warm colors didn’t warm your heart. 

The car felt lonely without Chan. You’d give anything to hear his laughter from beside you. The playful banter while he reminded you to turn on the correct turn signal. It’d been a constant inside joke between the two of you. Ever since you accidentally flicked on the wrong signal and turned the wrong way, he’d never let it go. 

The way he tipped his head forward. Messy tendrils of dark hair fell over his forehead. His squeaky laugh warmed your heart. Such a far comparison from the anger that rattled the apartment walls earlier. 

You poked his dimples between the stoplights. On nights when the two of you wanted to get away from everyday life, you found peace in this car. You’d drive and be in control for once. He’d sit beside you with a hand on your thigh. 

Simple conversations filled the car. Love pooled between the two of you. Shared laughter, quiet conversations, and the secret getaway that your car provided you’d do anything to turn back time. 

You loved him for a reason. You always had and you always would. Just because photos told one story, it didn’t mean they told the entire story. Snippets didn’t capture the truth. The context was important, but Chan was too distraught tonight. 

Too stressed out. Too angry. Too frustrated. Things built up and that article was the breaking point. Those photographs became thorns in your relationship. In one day, the roses wilted. Withered petals gathered at your feet. 

Tomorrow would be better, you reassured yourself as you drove. Tomorrow, Chan would realize he was wrong. He jumped the gun in this situation. In the morning, he’d call you and apologize. 

Tomorrow, you’d be welcomed home with a heartfelt apology and a bouquet of fresh flowers. A glass full of red wine, sweets, and a home cooked dinner. Tomorrow, things will be okay again. These tears were temporary. This hurt wouldn’t last forever. 

At a stoplight, you grabbed your phone and dialed Changbin’s number. On speaker phone, you waited and waited, but he didn’t pick up. If anyone would know the truth and be able to rationalize Chan’s brain, it was him. 

The red light from the stoplights highlighted faint tear streaks. You sniffled, wiping your long sleeve across your dripping nose. Your eyes shut and your voice cut out and quivered as you spoke. 

“Please know that I didn’t mean to cause him or you guys any harm. I ran into him the other day and asked if he could help teach me a dance. He’s one of JYP’s best dancers and I know Stray Kids are busy. His group is on break and I just thought I could surprise Chan with a dance.” 

“Saying it out loud, I get that it’s stupid now. I was just hoping it’d cheer him up. He’s been so stressed lately. I thought the least I could do was make him laugh.” 

“If you get a chance and if he’s willing to hear it, please let him know I love him. I love him and I’m sorry. Dispatch is stupid and I hate them. You can even ask that idol and he’ll tell you the same thing. I’m so sorry, Changbin. I’ll talk to you later. I have to find a place to stay tonight.” 

You swallowed the lump in your throat and shut your eyes. After clicking the end call button on your phone, you threw the device into your passenger’s seat. Maybe if you were lucky, Chan would hear out Changbin. Level-headed and rational, you knew Chan appreciated the advice he gave out. 

A car horn honked behind you. Your eyes quickly reopened and the green light stared back at you. Unblinking, you grumbled beneath your breath. “I’m going, I’m going, geez.” You inched out into the intersection, expecting to continue going straight. 

You weren’t expecting your car to jerk left. Your screams blended with the sound of crushing metal. Orange sparks flew. The sickening scent of burnt rubber and diesel hit your nose. Your seatbelt cut into your neck and briefly cut off your air flow. 

The last thing you remembered was the horn of the semi-truck vibrating your entire car. 

~ ~ ~ 

It wasn’t Dispatch that was the first one to find out about the devastating car accident; instead, it was Jeongin. He sucked in a deep breath as he walked into the hospital. Last night, after struggling with the flu, someone admitted his friend to the hospital. 

He mumbled beneath his breath, trying to figure out what to say. A blue medical mask sat over his nose and mouth. He knew to keep his distance, but he still felt awful that they were here. 

Hospitals were lonely. In the brief moments when families and friends disappeared. When the nurses were following their routine rounds and doctors were checking in on other patients, people were left alone. The isolating white walls. The uncomfortable piercing beeps from the heart rate monitor. The cold IV drips, distributing medicine directly into the bloodstream. 

Surgical stitches ached. Disease weighed heavily upon the lungs. Intubation and the mechanical push and pull of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Hospitals were the opposite of warm and welcoming. Cold and sterile, he rather wished his friend was at home. 

The colorful bouquet of multicolored flowers was the brightest thing in the hallway. Closed doors with numbers passed by as he walked. The nurse’s announcement of his friend’s room number echoed in his head. 

It dissipated when he heard your name from a nurse in a cracked room. Before he knew it, he was pushing the door open and stepping inside. On the hospital bed, you were unrecognizable. Scrapes and cuts laced your face. Both plum purple eyes swelled shut.  

The right side of your face puffed up unnaturally. Black stitches poked out from the bottom of your lip. That was just your face. That wasn’t beginning to touch the cast on your arm and the rest of your body hidden beneath the blue covers. 

He knew it was you. He recognized the promise ring on your ring finger. He had helped Chan pick it out. He glanced around, searching for Chan, but he wasn’t there.

“Are you lost?” 

He glanced up to find the nurse. Her blonde hair tied back in a high ponytail. She observed him through black, circular-rimmed glasses. 

He shook his head and repeated your name. The nurse frowned and he pointed to you. “Is this-” 

“Are you family?” 

“Brother.” 

You weren’t biologically related, but it felt true deep down. 

~ ~ ~ 

Changbin tried to bring the situation up to Chan, but every time he spoke your name, Chan would shut down. From what Changbin knew, Chan didn’t know what happened to you. The rest of the guys did, but they all received the same results. Every time they spoke your name, Chan grew irritated and short-tempered. 

“I don’t want to talk about them! Stop bringing them up! Enough!” 

The charming and charismatic leader unraveled at the seams. His heart was full of love for you and you ruined it. That wasn’t something he took lightly. The hurt oozed out in other ways. 

His songs weren’t coming together as easily anymore. He used to get your feedback when he went home, but now the apartment was empty. The bed was colder without you. He was lonely, but he wouldn’t admit it. 

He snapped during dance practice. After he snapped at a manager, a manager lectured him about authority and respecting his elders. Nobody understood the hurt that he was going through. It didn’t help that Dispatch began showing up and bothering him. 

They could take all the pictures they wanted. He’d never give them the satisfaction of breaking his heart. Instead of listening, he put on his airpods and cranked up the music. He shoved through the camera flashes with his baseball hat low and a face mask covering the rest of his face. They didn’t deserve to turn his heartbreak into entertainment. 

He’d never let them break him. They already did it once. You were gone and the longer you went without a call or a text, he assumed they were right. They caught you cheating and you accepted it. You didn’t fight for your relationship. 

You didn’t call and beg for him to take you back. You didn’t call and try to explain. He sent you one text, but you never opened it. He was at a complete loss without you. 

Some would call him stubborn for it, but he’d say that he was just trying to protect himself from more hurt. 

~ ~ ~ 

The lonely days for you didn’t stay lonely for long. Jeongin discovered you hours after your accident. The days slipped by, but you weren’t alone anymore. Unconscious and pumped full of medicine, sure. They were far from lonely. 

Every evening, the guys took turns hanging out beside your bed. Seungmin would sing the songs you liked. Jeongin told you funny stories of Chan, trying to bring you back to consciousness. Minho brought you warm comments from the fans who found out about your accident. The rest of the guys had their own things, but Chan’s voice never filled the room. 

Stuck in a coma, things were dark. Occasionally, you could hear the beeping of your machines. You could feel your lungs expand and compress unnaturally. Your body felt like a shell more than anything. Voices came and went, but never Chan’s. 

In the darkness, you couldn’t see. You weren’t sure if you were dead or not. Stranger’s voices appeared in soft whispers and then they faded. You weren’t sure what was going on, but you knew you were exhausted. 

Those audible voices and sounds never lasted for long. You couldn’t feel pain. Every sensation within you felt numbed. A heavy fog filled your head and something clouded your vision. 

You attempted to open your eyes every so often, but they didn’t budge. Someone glued them shut. Every limb tingled with tiny pins and needles. You didn’t know if this was death, but it didn’t feel comforting. Somewhere between the realm of the living and dead, doctors kept you in a medically induced coma. 

How else could they heal the swelling of your brain? ~ ~ ~  

“I can’t take this anymore!” Felix cried out. He shoved himself from the chair and pulled out his phone. “This is such bullshit! I’m tired of keeping this from him.”

“Well, we’ve tried. What do you propose we do? Tell him to get to the hospital without mentioning his significant other’s name?” Seungmin crossed his arms over his chest. “Good luck. We’ve tried everything and it’s been twenty-something days.” 

“Actually, that’s exactly what we should do. How much longer can this go on for? This is pathetic, even for him! I get that he’s hurt, but look at them!” He reached over and gestured towards your bed. 

You remained intubated and unmoving. The swelling in your puffy eyes faded a little more each day, but they still looked awful. The stitches in your lips disappeared, but a fresh pink scar remained. 

Swirls of purple and blue smeared along your face. Broken bones reset and were on the mend. You were a living miracle. The first responders were afraid you wouldn’t make it, but when they pulled you from the wreckage, you continued breathing. 

So he unlocked his phone and hit Chan’s contact name. 

“Hello?” 

“Chan?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You need to get to the hospital right now. Call me when you get here.” 

“WHAT?” 

“I can’t talk. Just call me when you get here.” 

“Felix!” 

He grimaced and hung up the phone. Seungmin shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You probably gave him a heart attack. He’s going to kill you when he gets here, you know?” 

“That’s a problem for later.” ~ ~ ~ 

Chan flew from his apartment. His heart pounded in his chest and he couldn’t breathe. Losing you was hard enough. If anything happened to a member of his group, he’d never forgive himself. 

“Come on, come on!” He fumbled with his seat belt in one hand. With the other, he swung his car door shut. In seconds, he jerked the car in reverse and slammed the pedal. 

He lurched down the driveway, spun the wheel with a rubbered squeal, and shifted the car into drive. The engine roared and he sped down the road. 

What-ifs grew stronger on the way to the hospital. His breath caught in his throat and he struggled to stay calm. Last he knew, everyone was fine so what happened? Who? How bad was it? 

The moment he parked, he whipped out his phone and dialed Felix’s number. When Felix responded, his voice came out frantic. “I’m here! Where are you?” 

“Room one-twelve. I’ll meet you half-way. I’ll see you soon.” 

“Wait, who is-” 

Click. 

“Fucking hell!” He cried out. He grabbed the keys, sped from the car, and rushed towards the automatic door. 

Everything was a blur inside. Voices appeared from the waiting room. The receptionist glanced over the front desk and eyed him, but she didn’t stop him. He glanced left and right and opted to go left. 

The carpet disappeared beneath his feet and turned into squeaky clean white vinyl. An easy material to clean and disinfect daily. He rushed forward when he saw Felix appear down the edge of the hall. 

The squeak of his shoes didn’t matter. He ignored the doctor he passed that told him to stop running. By the time he reached Felix, he grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer. “Who is it? What happened? Tell me!” 

“Just, come on.” 

“Felix!” 

Felix didn’t budge. He grabbed Chan’s wrist and pulled him along. His chest filled with anxiety and his lungs compressed. When the pair appeared at the right door, Felix dropped his wrist and slowly pushed the door open. 

He expected to find Han or Jeongin. A broken and battered Hyunjin or Changbin hooked to oxygen. This was the intensive care unit. This was for the severe cases. The patients that required a close eye and keen detailing. 

Upon seeing you, his face fell. The bruising upon your face. The tube down your throat. Your lifeless skin and unmoving limbs. There was no sign of the life the two of you created. 

No reassuring smiles, or laughter. Seungmin sat solemnly beside your bed in a chair. “I’m shocked that you finally made it.” 

“What the hell happened?” He hurried to the opposite side of your bed. His hand reached out, but he didn’t touch you. Too frightened by your state, he didn’t know where he could touch without causing you pain. 

“Try their hand,” an unfamiliar voice spoke up. He whirled around to find a nurse in blue scrubs. “Their hands survived the crash. You can touch their hands if you wish.” 

“Sorry, I came in to get some vitals. It’ll only be a few moments and then I can leave you alone. Visiting hours are open until eleven o’clock tonight. I’ve never seen you here before, so I thought you should know.” 

“How long have they been like this?” He whispered. Tears filled his eyes and his heart ached. 

“Since the night you told them to leave your apartment.” 

“What?” 

“Felix!” Seungmin’s voice shot out sternly. “It’s not like that, Chan. Yes, the accident happened that night, but don’t beat yourself up over it. A driver of a semi-truck was speeding and couldn’t stop in time.” 

“That was nearly a-” 

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Felix’s hand appeared on his shoulder. “We tried to tell you, but every time we tried to utter their name, you were angry. We should have found a better way to tell you, but…” He trailed off, unsure of what else to say. 

The nurse grabbed your vitals and disappeared to give the guys time with you. Chan collapsed to his knees and grabbed your hand with both of his. For nearly a month, you’d been stuck in this bed. He thought you’d given up on the relationship with him. 

This entire time you haven't texted him back. Not because you were angry. Not because you were sad. Not because Dispatch’s rumors were true. But it was because you physically couldn’t. Intubated and trapped in a medically induced coma, you couldn’t reach out, even if you wanted to. 

“I’m so sorry,” he croaked. “I’m so sorry, I-I thought that they-” 

“Easy, hyung.” 

“What did I do? What the fuck did I do? If I wouldn’t have kicked them out of the apartment, this wouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have been so angry. I should have let them explain.” 

Seungmin shot Felix a look. He shrugged and gently rubbed Chan’s shoulders. “It’s not your fault, Channie. You were hurting and you didn’t mean for this to happen.” 

He was supposed to be the leader. A strong pillar and an even stronger influence on his younger members. As the eldest member, he was supposed to be reliable. At that moment, he crumbled. Tears appeared in his eyes as a sob broke from his chest. 

No wonder you had been so quiet. He called you once and hit your voicemail. He longed to hit the call button, just so he could hear your voice again. He squeezed your hand tighter and pressed it against his cheek. 

“Wake up. Wake up, baby, please! Come back to me. I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I'm so sorry!” 

Tears blurred his vision. He struggled to comprehend your mangled face. Your other hand sat wrapped in a cast. You must have been so broken when you arrived here. He wasn’t here to comfort you. He wasn’t here to try and console and cheer you up. 

A wheeze fell from his throat. The betrayal slicing through his heart disappeared. This time, he felt like he was the one that had betrayed you. He hurt you in the most unimaginable way possible. 

You laid here broken and half-dead. You spent hours fighting for your life alone. And where was he? Walking around your shared apartment drowning in his own self-pity. He’d never forgive himself for this. 

“What is this?” He finally whispered after his sobs faded away. His throat was raw. His voice came out scratchy. “How bad is it?” 

“The doctor said they should wake up at any time. They weren’t breathing on their own. A medically induced coma ensured to make sure their brain’s swelling could stop.” 

“It was that bad? They’ve been suffering through all that alone?” His bottom lip quivered. He grew afraid of the response he’d receive. 

“No,” Seungmin spoke up. “Jeongin found out first. He was the one that notified us. He said he tried to tell you, but when he showed up at your apartment, you told him to leave.” 

Horror filled Chan at the memory. Later that same night, back when you left, Jeongin appeared on his front porch pale. Instead of hearing out the younger member, he told him to get lost and slammed the door in his face. Deep down, he was afraid to be viewed as weak in front of the younger member. 

The memory stung his heart. Poor Jeongin just wanted him to know the truth and he slammed the door in his face. No wonder Jeongin seemed so nervous around him. He was probably worried that Chan would find out the truth and yell at him for not telling him. 

He rubbed his face and pawed at his eyes. “So does everyone know?” 

“Everyone besides you.” 

“Sorry you’re late. None of us knew how to get you here. You’d never listen when we tried to talk about them.” 

“I was such a stupid, selfish asshole.” 

“You were hurting,” Felix corrected him. 

“And a stupid, selfish asshole.” 

“You were.” 

“Seungmin!” Felix cried. 

“No, I want him to know that he was. I’m not going to sit here and pity him. You were a jerk, Chan. I hope you remember this moment whenever you try to act like an asshole again.” 

The words were a slap in the face, and yet he wanted to laugh. As harsh as Seungmin’s words were, they rang true. He was a jerk and maybe, in the cruelest way possible, this was his karma. 

He opened his mouth to respond, but paused when your fingernails scratched at his hand. The tube in your throat caused you to choke. You couldn’t fully see as your eyes half-opened. Still swollen, your vision remained limited. Silhouettes appeared and voices became more distinct. 

“Get a nurse!” 

Footsteps hit the ground. You gargled and reached your opened mouth. “No, no, no! You can’t touch that yet.” 

“Easy, love. Try to relax and don’t fight the tube. It’s breathing for you right now.” 

The distress and quickened-pace of the heart rate monitor hit a hiccup. Chan’s familiar voice grounded you, but you still struggled with the tube. Your lungs wanted to expand, but the machine compressed them. You choked again, still fighting the pesky thing. 

More footsteps. Another silhouette. Glasses on an unfamiliar face and latex rubbing against your skin. “It’s okay, you’re safe. I’m going to take this out now, okay? On the count of three. One, two, three!” 

You gasped and coughed at the removal. Your lungs filled with air of your own accord. More coughing. You attempted to swallow, but your mouth was so dry. The lingering phantom of a headache filled the side of your head. 

“Try a sip of this, sweetheart.” 

The nurse’s tone was honey to your ears. You swallowed the water the moment it hit your lips. One swallow and then another. Two more and suddenly, you were gulping like crazy. 

“Easy, or you’ll choke,” Chan gently reminded you. 

The nurse pulled the glass away when you finished. “Do you know where you are?” 

“Hospital?” 

“Do you remember your name?” 

“Chan?” 

“I’m right here, honey. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. Do you remember your name? This nice nurse wants to help you get better. Your doctor is on his way.” 

Every question asked, you answered it perfectly. A buzz of excitement swirled around the room from your consciousness. Seungmin and Felix left the room to give everyone the good news. 

When the doctor concluded you were stable, he disappeared with the nurse. A silence fell between you and Chan. You still couldn’t see perfectly, but you could feel the weight of his hand in yours. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry for that night.” 

“I don’t want to talk about that night.” 

“I was an idiot.” 

“Dumbass,” you weakly corrected him. 

“I see getting hit by a semi-truck hasn’t taken away your sass.” 

“If I can survive this, I can survive anything.” 

“I love you and I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, I love you and I don’t want to hear anything else about that. I’m so tired. Can you sing me to sleep or something?” 

“If I do, promise you won’t die?” 

“I promise.” 

Even if you couldn’t make out his face, you knew his voice, and that was good enough for you. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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[amfstargirl]

Yandere batfam x neglected reader

Standing in the yard, dressed like a kid, the house is white and the lawn is dead ⋆·˚ ༘ *

You stood firm on the ground, eyes stern and unwavering. In front of you was a place all too familiar—the "shelter" where you grew up, the house that had been your home for five years of your childhood. As you stood there, memories flooded your mind, both the happy ones and the melancholy ones. Your eyes roamed around the place, taking in every detail before you finally decided to enter, lest anyone mistake you for some kind of lunatic loitering outside someone's house.

As your feet mindlessly carried you into the room, a heavy, shaky sigh escaped your quivering lips. It hadn't even been five seconds since you entered, yet you already felt the urge to cry. Oh well, that's what memories do to you. You gently caressed the dirty white wall adorned with your old, fading doodles. Most of them were pink—your favorite color then and even now as an adult. You smiled sadly as the memories of your time in the house flooded back, making you nostalgic. You scoffed sarcastically at the irony that you missed this place more than the manor where you'd spent a longer time.

Perhaps it was because the old you—the innocent, sweet, and pure one—was still within these thin walls that had sheltered them through all the bad times. You could feel their giggles and laughter lingering in the air. Tears streamed down your face as you stared at every sticker, doodle, and writing spread across the walls. Somehow, you cried out of joy, relishing the fact that the child you left behind in this house was still here in some way. Still innocent, still unaware of the harm the world could do.

In the manor, all the love you ever knew came from the man who introduced himself as the family butler but whom you soon came to know as your father. He was the love you craved and begged for at Bruce's feet. He fed you, took care of you, and taught you the things you needed to know. He attended family days, PTA meetings, and other events that your biological father should have been at. Under Alfred's shelter, you did everything you could to try to level with your siblings' talents—learning acrobatics, martial arts, drawing, baking, and more.

Yet it was Alfred who, in the dead of night, under the whispers of the cold wind whipping past your teary face, assured you that you would never need any of those skills to truly earn your family's love. All you needed was to be yourself. You allowed yourself to believe his words and lived them as your truth for a short time, but soon gave up on the idea, accepting that they wouldn't truly see you.

Now, dwelling on your lingering past and memories outside the manor, you remembered those you knew before coming to live with them. You reminisced on the thought of your mother. You remembered her.

You remembered how poverty ate your mother away and that she couldn't provide necessary needs for you but you, sweet, beautiful, angel you never complained.

You remembered how much you loved those barbie shows and movies but couldn't afford the dvds and even a proper functioning television so you sometimes watched it from your window across your neighbors, and while watching you saw a glimpse of their life. Their happy, perfect family life. How they cuddled their daughter and watched those silly barbie movies together. Your eyes softened as you thought "I wanted that" the little you hoped that maybe one day momma will get better and finally love me. Your tears poured from your eyes at the thought.

You remembered while you were doing your homework alone, you heard a whimper outside your window near the alley. As you peeked your tiny head outside, your hair flowing with the cold, harsh wind, your eyes searching for the source of noise. As you let your gaze travel through every corner of the alley, you saw a dirty, poor puppy whimpering, alone, calling out for its mother, its father, anyone. You ran hastily outside and collected its tiny and fragile form gently in your arms. "I'm here, I'm okay, you're safe," you whispered softly to the creature. And from. That very day you fed it and kept it sheltered secretly from your mother. You named her Amara. It suited her. You didn't have much play mates so you sometimes play with her by the yard where you and her would either run together or lay down. You never really got to say goodbye to her. From "that" moment on, you never got to go back to your house. You wondered how she was. Was she well fed? Did she think you abandoned her? Does she miss you? The guilt of living her ate you up the longer you dwelt on the past. You shook your head and sighed, trying to forget about all of it. You mourned every version of you. And this was your most treasured one. Thinking back on all the memories you had of the old you, of her. You thanked them for being so forgiving, for being so brave, for being so content with what she had, and for never trading anything for it.

They Were such a kind soul. And you're glad that they gets to stay where they were the happiest despite the nightmare they endured those days. You will always look up to them. They were and will always be a part of you. You took one last look at the house, the drawings, the dirty corners of the room, and released a breath as you closed your eyes. This was it. You'll finally get to say goodbye-

Whimper

You froze as you heard a familiar whimper. You turned around and slowly walked towards the opened door, and you saw her. Amara, your friend. You can't help but let the tears fall as her once brown fluffy appearance is now old and grey. You wondered how even in the light of old age she somehow still seems so youthful. She was still your baby. With a shaky voice, you tested the name. "Amara...?" she wags her tail in delight as a response to the familiar name she's been waiting to be called for so many years. You kneeled down and gently caressed her. "Oh, baby. You've been waiting for me, haven't you?" she whimpered as if answering you. You noticed her trying to catch her breath and her body growing weaker. You glance at her tail and see its wagging has become more frail and slow. You glance at your eyes, and you know. You smiled at her and whispered, "It's okay, baby. You can rest now." Her face weakly lit up, and she slowly closed her eyes, calm and loved, finally in your embrace.

After some time, you tenderly wrapped her body in a blanket. You carried her to the yard where you both used to play together as kids, a place where you ran freely without a care in the world. Borrowing a shovel from a tenant in the apartment, you buried her there, in the spot where you both were the happiest.

You whispered silent prayers for your companion and left with the memories. This was it. You've made your peace with the old you. Almost. There was one more thing you have to do.

You used believed that your mother could have been so much more. She was a beautiful woman. Smart, even if other would beg to disagree. But, you knew that she knew how to play her cards right to get what she desired for. She would have been so powerful if she used her sharp mind to something much more.. Productive. Yet she chose to sleep with men, abandon her child, and let herself be eaten by poverty and lust. Well, you didn't really mind if she abandoned you. You've always felt like you were the burden, the barrier to her way of succeeding and the chain locked onto her feet, keeping her from truly running away to what she has become. You've seen it in her eyes, the thought of running away and living a new life, but when she looks at you.. She saw a mistake she could never be freed of. A mistake. If only you weren't born, she would have been so happy.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink. "Ma'am?" the nurse asked. Suddenly, you were back to reality. You blinked again, processing her words. You glanced at her expectant expression and blurted out, "Y-yes, yes, uhm. Yeah. I'm ready." She smiled and said, "Great. Let's go this way, ma'am." You followed her hurriedly, not wanting to test her patience. As you walked, dissociating and thinking of all the possible outcomes, the nurse suddenly stopped in front of a room and said, "We're here. You can enter now." You nodded and thanked her silently.

Facing the door, you chanted in your mind, "You can do this," with a mix of determination and uncertainty. Taking a deep breath, you exhaled and opened the door. There she was—your mother, in all her glory. Bare-faced and vulnerable in her comfy hospital gown. You almost choked on your saliva, seeing her this... bare. You had always seen her so filtered, her face adorned with colors, her clothes tight and bright. Awkwardly, you shifted in your place and slowly sat beside her bed as her gaze followed your every move. You cleared your throat, preparing to speak, but she beat you to it.

“I know you.” you widen your eyes at her as she continues “you're my child.” you weren't shocked at the fact that she acknowledged you but the fact that she called you Her child, and the softness in her eyes. You were starting to think that maybe this isn't your mother, because she never looked at you like that. Never in years of living together has she even glance at you.

She chuckled at the sight of your confused and shocked state, bringing you out of your thoughts. "What? Shocked? Of course, I still remember you, Y/n," she weakly said, her voice small and quite different from the harsh tone she used to yell at you with. You inhaled sharply, trying to stop your tears from falling. What the heck? Were you about to cry again?

"I thought with how much resentment you harbor for me, you would have forgotten about me by now," you smiled sadly at her, watching her face drop slightly but still smiling weakly.

"Oh, Y/n," you almost crumbled right then and there. Oh, how much you had longed to be called so sweetly by your mother's voice. "I never hated you... that much," she said bitterly, and you stayed quiet, waiting for her to continue. "I just wasn't born to be a mother, no—at least not in this life. I'm a mess and I always will be. And I'm sorry I couldn't change for you because nothing can and nothing will change me anymore."

Your lips frowned at her words. "I always thought that maybe you could have been better without me," you said. You miss her, and you will always miss her. She was your whole world, but now seeing her and talking to her made you realize her world was clearly much different from yours. Her world was something one could not escape. You knew you couldn't live like that, and it seems that she cannot live any other way. They said that a mother and children exist as wretched mirrors of each other. You were all she could have been and she was all you might have been.

She closed the distance between you and embraced you for the first time. "You never were. It was me. I was the problem. You were just a child. In another life, I would've been able to care for you." You didn't question her on why she couldn't do it in this life because you knew. You knew she didn't have the capability to be a good mother and a morally good person now, and that was okay. You couldn't live with The fact that she will never truly care for you and will always hold secret animosity towards you if you force her to be a mother to you. You closed your eyes for a minute and silently took in the feeling of a mother's embrace for the first and last time.

"This is the last time you're ever gonna see me again," you said. Your mother chuckled bitterly and replied, "I know. Good for you, kid. Leave everything behind and start anew. You deserve it."

You soon moved out of her arms and held her hands tightly, looking into her eyes. With a deep exhale, you walked out of the hospital. This was it—you were finally free from your past. You had made your peace with it, and now it was time for you to move forward. You knew that if you didn't confront the horrors of your past, they would haunt you for the rest of your life. You had made a good choice.

As you stepped outside, the cool breeze greeted you, and you felt a sense of liberation wash over you. The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm, golden glow over everything. It was as if the universe itself was acknowledging your newfound freedom. You took a moment to breathe in the fresh air, savoring the feeling of lightness that now enveloped you. Walking down the street, you felt a renewed sense of purpose. The city seemed different somehow—brighter, more alive. You noticed the little things that you had overlooked before: the vibrant colors of the flowers in the park, the laughter of children playing, the distant hum of traffic. It was as if you were seeing the world with fresh eyes, unburdened by the weight of your past.

For the first time in a long time, you felt at peace. The past no longer held you captive. You were free to live your life, to pursue your passions, and to surround yourself with people who truly cared for you. It was the beginning of a new chapter. You get home to your apartment and sit at your couch grabbing some blankets and making hot cocoa. You thought to yourself that this is what you exactly needed. Watching barbie movies in your new cozy apartment without any burden past onto your shoulders, the little you would have been so proud, making you smile at the thought. This was it. Nothing was going to stop you now.

That's what you thought.

It has been 2 weeks since you've moved in your apartment and you're getting ready for your ballet rehearsal. You were especially excited about this as you were going to perform swan lake when you got to enact one of the most important and famous characters, how cool was that? As you were about to grab your pink bowed pointe shoes a sudden “ping!” notification was heard from your phone. You turned your head and went to grab it expecting a message from one of your close friends or even your ballet mates but all you were met with was a message from a person you least wanted a one from.

Dick. Your supposed older brother is asking you to hang out with him. At this very moment. You dropped your phone and stared at nothing while breathing heavily. You feel your heartbeat rapidly breathing, the knot in your stomach growing more tighter and tighter each minute you let the thought sink into your brain. You almost tripped at your foot as a result of your vision disfigured, as if you were looking through a fish-eye lens. This wasn't right, this wasn't supposed to happen. When-how?-why?! Why was this happening now? You were only starting to feel like everything in your life was finally starting to go your way. Why did this have to happen? It was as if the universe was mocking you. You bit your lips until it bled but you couldn't care less. You were numb. You hadn't even realized that you were nowate for today's rehearsals. With trembling hands you reached for your phone and shakily pressed the button “block” as you silently prayed that he-they would never come in contact with you ever again.

Of Course that wouldn't happen though. The universe was never really on your side.

Dick? What's happening here?

A sudden deep voice spoke, bringing Dick out of his deep trance. He turned around and saw his father standing outside the door, looking suspiciously at him. He stared at his father and saw the look on his face—full of confusion and unfamiliarity, not towards him but the room he was in. "I-it's Y/n," he stuttered, the name tasting so sweet on his tongue. He wanted to roll around in the scent of you. Was that weird? No—he just missed you, that's all.

"What about them?" Bruce's voice carried a nonchalance that almost made Dick angry. How could he be so indifferent about his precious sibling? With a hard voice, Dick replied, "They're gone." Bruce's eyes widened slightly at the response. What did he mean you were gone? You were just here when... Wait, when? He worriedly glanced at Dick, and as if understanding, Dick answered, "I know."

Bruce inhaled sharply and stepped inside the room, your lingering scent greeting him. Your trophies adorned the walls. This was your room? No, it couldn't be. This was too little. This was just... not it. The difference between his other childrens bedrooms and yours was so noticeable. You didn't have any fancy chandelier decorating yours. You didn't have your own bathroom.

Bruce's eyes scanned the room, taking in every detail. The neatly arranged trophies, the faded posters on the walls, and the small bed that seemed too empty now. He walked over to the desk and picked up a framed photo of you, when was this? You look so.. Grown? How old were you? Were you old enough to live alone? How come he didn't know? Did you have a job-were you even allowed to have one? he clenches his fist as he stares at the sight of your image and sees your bright smile. His heart ached at the sight. How had he missed this? How had he not noticed the signs?

Dick watched his father, a mix of emotions swirling within him. He wanted to scream, to demand why Bruce hadn't paid more attention, why he hadn't been there for you. But he knew he wasn't any better than his adoptive father was. Besides, it wouldn't change anything. The damage was done.

Bruce set the photo back down and turned to Dick, his expression a mix of regret and determination. He saw the tiny diary and other papers scattered across the floor and picked them up, reading them one by one as he slowly spiraled into regret and guilt. Dick watched as he knew this was going to make him understand. Today made it all clear to him. Why there was a nagging feeling inside of him saying that there was something missing in the manor. It was why the sweet muffled music of the orchestra haunted the manor, the same kind of music haunting their bedroom. Like it was a reminder, a warning. That something special was lost. The soothing sound of humming, light footsteps around the manor now gone. The pink bows tied around the handles of the stairs, the love that the plants receive now nowhere to be found. It was because you took that love with you.

"We need to find them," Bruce spoke, his voice steady but filled with urgency. His knees bounce as his Jaws tighten anxiously.

Dick nodded, his resolve matching his father's. "We'll find them," he replied, his voice firm. "And we'll make things right."

As they left the room, Bruce carrying the framed image of you tightly, almost as if he was paranoid that something would take it from him, and dick gently running his thumb through the texture of your pink, bowed, bright diary, the weight of their mission settled on their shoulders. They knew it wouldn't be easy, but they were determined to bring you back. The silence of the manor was a stark reminder of what they had lost, and they were ready to do whatever it took to make amends.

Bruce was anxious. He didn't have a plan. Ironic, because Batman always had a plan. It was an unspoken rule—Batman was always prepared. But now, he found himself at a loss, his mind racing with uncertainty. Perhaps it was because he knew every single person in Gotham. As the guardian of Lady Gotham, he prided himself on understanding the intricate web of connections and motives that defined the city's inhabitants. He calculated every person's actions, paid attention to every detail, and watched from the heart of Gotham.

He paid extensive attention to everyone... except you.

It wasn't intentional. He had always been consumed by the weight of his responsibilities, the never-ending battle against crime, and the need to protect the city. But now, standing in your room, surrounded by the remnants of your presence, he realized his failure. The irony of it all struck him—Batman, the meticulous planner, had overlooked the most important person in his life.

Now he was desperate, he may not have a plan but he was desperate. He'll do anything to get you back. Any possible way to get back all the times he failed you, when he failed to be a father to you. He swore to protect you and never let you out of his sight ever again.

Dick wasn't any better. As he walked, his thoughts played tricks on him, but in a way he almost relished. His mind insisted that you must be so scared without him, without your older brother to protect you. He didn't even consider the possibility that you could be an independent, fully functioning individual on your own, or the fact that you had grown and most likely abandoned the thought of "bonding" with him. In this moment, his mind was consumed by the image of you and the curiosity of what more you had within yourself that he had neglected. His anxiousness grew, causing him to bite his nails and run his hands through his hair in frustration. His breathing became ragged, and his heart pounded in his chest. It was as if he had turned feral, his bloodshot blue eyes itching to be blessed with a vision of your face.

The more he thought about it, the more his mind played tricks on him. He imagined you scared and alone, wondering why your older brother wasn't there to protect you. He couldn't bear the thought of you suffering because of his neglect. His thoughts raced, each one more frantic than the last. What if you were hurt? What if you were in danger? What if you had given up on ever reconnecting with him?

The guilt gnawed at him, making it hard to focus on anything else. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had failed you, that he had missed so many opportunities to be there for you. His heart ached at the thought of all the moments you had spent alone, craving the attention and love that he hadn't given.

As he continued to walk, his thoughts became more erratic. He imagined you thriving without him, having found your own path and your own sense of independence. The possibility that you no longer needed him stung, but it also filled him with a strange sense of pride. You had grown, despite everything, and that was something to be admired.

Still, his mind couldn't rest. He needed to see you, to know that you were okay. The uncertainty was driving him to the brink of madness. His hands trembled as he clenched them into fists, determined to find you and make amends.

he wouldn't rest until he saw you again.

Both Bruce and Dick disregarded everything around them, unaware of the curious look Tim gave them. He followed quietly behind their backs, raising an eyebrow as he wondered why they hadn't noticed his presence yet. Normally, these two were incredibly guarded, so Tim was shocked by their lack of awareness. What could have made them so unfocused?

Bruce—the Batman—and Dick—the first Robin and now Nightwing—were both engrossed in a particular object. They seemed to be completely absorbed, their usual vigilance overshadowed by their intense fixation. Tim watched as Bruce's eyes remained glued to a framed photo on the desk, his expression a mix of regret and determination. Meanwhile, Dick's gaze was fixed on the pink notebook in his hands, his fingers gently tracing the glittery cover.

Tim couldn't help but wonder what was so important about these items that it made two of the most vigilant people he knew drop their guard. The framed photo of you, smiling brightly, seemed to hold Bruce in a trance, while the pink notebook, adorned with bows and glitters, seemed to capture all of Dick's attention. They were so consumed by these objects that they had let down the walls they had built through years of vigilantism.

It had to be something incredibly significant—something better yet, special.

“What are you two doing?” asked Tim, suddenly breaking the silence between the three of them as he watched the father and son duo flinch, obviously flabbergasted at his sudden interruption at their deep trance. He observed as their face turned from shock to going back to their frowning faces making him mirror the same expression. Dick clenches his jaw and exhales sharply preparing himself to speak when he is suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice he would always recognize.

"What is going on here?" a figure with deep forest-green eyes asked, standing tall in the shadows, his cold demeanor unwavering. Dick's eyes met his, and he said his name. "Damian. Wha—"

"You have deliberately abandoned your promise to train with me today. Why?" Damian's voice was sharp, full of accusation. Shoot. That was right. Dick had forgotten to train with his younger brother today. But it didn't matter now; his other sibling needed him, and it was about time they knew about them too. He glanced at Bruce's unfocused state, feral and restless.

"It's about Y/n," Dick said firmly.

Tim stood still for a moment, trying to figure out who "Y/n" was, while Damian immediately sneered at the mention of his "rival." He couldn't pinpoint why your presence angered him so much. Maybe it was because he had to share the title of being the Wayne heir with someone so... normal, someone so far below his level. You both were so different. Perhaps he was jealous of you for being so normal, for not having to worry about tainting your hands with blood and painting others black and blue. What did you even do? He didn't know, but he bet it was something a normal civilian would.

Meanwhile, his peripheral vision caught Tim standing still, deep in thought. Damian saw him processing quickly, his mind running fast as he tried to figure out who you were and why you were so relevant at the moment. Then suddenly—aha! Tim remembered now! You were the kid who had pestered him non-stop about some game.

Tim's eyes widened as he recalled the memory. The realization hit him like a wave. He had been so dismissive back then, but now he understood the significance. Guilt washed over him, mixing with curiosity and concern. What had happened to you? Why were you so important now?

Damian's sneer softened slightly, replaced with a look of contemplation. “What about them?” asked damian. While Tim wondered the same. Suddenly Bruce's cold and deep voice said “they're gone.” Damian raising an eyebrow of his response, and Tim answering “gone? Gone how?” switching his gaze from dick and Bruce's form awaiting for one of them to answer his question as the tension in the room thickens. “I mean that they're gone. All their things not found in their room, no trace of them not in the mansion, and not even a goodbye.” Tim and Damian frowned at the same time. Damian scoffed and thought you were probably just making a big scene so the attention would be on you. Bruce said “we need to find them. Now.” his voice left no choice for them to abide by his command.

Now alone in the CCTV room, Tim let his bored gaze wander over the footage from a long time ago, his palm supporting his head. Suddenly, something caught his attention. He watched as you sat, his fingers tapping the keyboard to increase the volume. You hummed lightly at the footage, a simple gesture but not to him. Your voice was so familiar to him. His eyes dilated as you continued humming, your voice sweet as honey, as light as a mother's touch trying to lull her baby to sleep.

He zoomed the footage closer and closer, almost as if he wanted to go through the screen just to hear your sweet, angelic, melancholic voice. Your voice was like a soft fur blanket to him. He didn't know if he was hallucinating from sleep deprivation, but he swore you were covered by a soft light, hugging your form and kissing your skin gently.

Tim sat in your "presence" for a bit, soaking in your voice. As he listened, memories flooded back. He recalled distant muffled sounds within the thin walls, lulling him to sleep, chasing away the demons that kept him awake at night. He had so desperately wanted to close his eyes and rest, and he remembered thinking maybe it was just a voice in his head, or maybe a real-life angel offering him salvation from suffering and the sweet pleasure of sleep. Now he knew, the angel was called "Y/n."

His fingers tightened around the edge of the desk as he leaned in closer, his breathing steadying as he watched the footage. The realization hit him hard. How had he missed this before? How had he not recognized that comforting voice? The gentle humming, the presence that had brought him solace on sleepless nights—it was all you.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he continued to watch, his heart aching with a mix of regret and longing. He remembered the nights he had spent tormented by nightmares, the countless times he had struggled to find peace. Your voice had been his lifeline, a beacon of hope in the darkness.

He couldn't shake the feeling of guilt. How had he been so blind? How had he not seen the importance of your presence in the manor? Tim's thoughts spiraled as he recalled the moments he had dismissed you, the times he had been too wrapped up in his own world to notice you reaching out. He needed to see you. To hear your voice, to take you back, to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness as his forehead kisses the cold, dirty floor, or to maybe steal you back without a word. He didn't know, he just had to see you.

The footage continued to play, your voice a soothing balm to his troubled mind. He sat there, never unwavering, always in awe of your voice and never taking his attention off you. He sat there,Unaware that he had been playing the same footage for hours and hours. His dilated eyes worshipping you as if you were a god.

He felt a deep sense of loss, realizing that you were gone, and he hadn't even had the chance to thank you for all the nights you had unknowingly saved him. Determined, he knew he had to find you. He had to make things right.

After some time, finally. Tim's resolve hardened as he stood up, his eyes never leaving the screen. He would find you, and he would make sure you knew how much you meant to him. With renewed purpose, he left the CCTV room, ready to join Bruce and Dick in their search. Together, they would bring you back and rebuild the bond that had been neglected for far too long.

With much focus on the object of his obsession attention, he failed to notice a tall figure in the shadows, watchin. Thinking after all these years they have finally come to their senses, realizing the greatest gift of all was right under their noses.

Damian was a dangerous person. To be fair, he was raised to be an assassin and an heir to the throne from the moment he was born. Not even a moment out of the womb did he catch a glimpse of the normal life he so desperately wanted. He trained day and night, month after month, year after year, to become the perfect product of the world's greatest detective and the daughter of the king of assassins. Imagine the inner turmoil within him when he didn't meet the expectations set upon his shoulders. All his life, all he knew was to fight. In any situation, his first instinct was to fight and guard himself for his life.

Sometimes, he wondered how they expected a child to lead thousands of assassins to create a bloodbath. Behind his pride and arrogance was a deep-seated anger towards those in charge of his fate. He was furious that his innocence had been stripped away, clawing its way back to him, but ultimately, they succeeded in giving him a future burdened with the weight of guilt for painting the young and innocent red.

Damian's upbringing left him with a constant battle within himself. The expectations placed upon him were immense, and he often felt like he was suffocating under the pressure. The relentless training, the unyielding discipline, and the need to prove himself consumed his every waking moment. The anger he felt was not just directed at those who shaped his fate but also at himself for not being able to escape it. Many didn't know of it but he found it hard to be Robin. The conflict between leaning to your instincts or “your- now- morals” was hard. To kill and to save was wrong and somehow to save and to forgive was right.

Despite his impressive skills and abilities, there was a part of him that longed for something more—something normal. He envied those who lived ordinary lives, free from the burden of bloodshed and violence. He wondered what it would have been like to have a childhood filled with laughter and innocence rather than combat and survival. As to why he wonders what more could you possibly want? He was so sure that you had so much wonderful time living such a luxurious life in the manor and never having to prove yourself to be worthy of something in being able to get the object of your desire. How could you run away from this life? From your life? You were so unfair, so selfish.

As he continued to grapple with these conflicting emotions, Damian's exterior remained cold and guarded. He rarely allowed anyone to see the vulnerable side of him, the side that yearned for a different life. But deep down, the scars of his past lingered, a constant reminder of the life he was forced into and the innocence that was stolen from him.

He shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, and released a heavy sigh. What a bother. Making his way to every corner of the manor to "inspect" and see if you had left any trace of yourself there. As he walked down the path, letting his bored state guide him, he glanced at the thick walls and noticed some unfamiliar works of art. His gaze roamed around the room, settling on various paintings he had never noticed before. It was as if the paintings spoke for themselves, screaming out for anyone to notice and appreciate them. The different textures, colors, shapes, and stories behind the art captivated him.

Damian liked to think that he noticed everything and had the ability to be highly aware of his surroundings, whether he was familiar with them or not. But at this moment, he paused, questioning himself. If he was truly aware, how had he managed to overlook these breathtaking canvases filled with bright colors that made him... feel things? He took a step forward and saw a tiny signature on the left side of one of the canvases. He brought his hand up to softly caress the painting, gently and carefully, as if he were afraid that a mere touch could destroy it.

Engrossed in admiring the paintings, he failed to notice the tall figure beside him. It was only when the man spoke, "Master Damian," addressing him, that he flinched slightly.

"Ah, Alfred. My apologies, I was a bit distracted by the art adorning the walls, which seems to be... unfamiliar to me. Would you mind telling me where my father keeps buying these paintings? I must say I'm quite... impressed."

Alfred frowned and smiled sadly at the youngest Wayne. "Well, Master Damian, these paintings are actually not your father's doing. Rather, they are Master Y/n's work of art."

Damian's eyes widened in surprise. He turned back to the paintings and said "Y/n did these?" he asked, almost incredulous. The realization that you had created such beautiful and meaningful art struck him deeply. He didn't even know that you could draw much less create such.. Beautiful art. While he was thinking about it he realize that he had complimented you, you!

"Indeed, Master Damian," Alfred confirmed. "Y/n spent countless hours creating these pieces. Each one holds a story, a piece of their heart."

Damian felt a pang of emotion through his chest, he couldn't pinpoint what it was but it was somehow nagging him about something, or rather someone. His fingers traced the brushstrokes with a newfound reverence, as if trying to understand the emotions you had captured on canvas.

"I never knew..." Damian whispered, more to himself than to Alfred. The layers of vibrant colors, the delicate details, and the raw emotions conveyed through your art were all a testament to the depth of your soul. He felt a connection to you that he hadn't realized before, a sense of camaraderie and understanding. And he was totally not dissing you just minutes ago.

Alfred placed a comforting hand on Damian's shoulder. "Art has a way of speaking to us, Master Damian. It reveals truths that words often cannot. Y/n's art is a reflection of their experiences, their joys, and their sorrows. It is a part of them that they have shared with the world."

Damian nodded, taking a step back to fully appreciate the entirety of your work. Your art had opened a door to a deeper connection, and he was willing to walk through it. He didn't know why but in a way this was proof that you had always had some kind of connection to him.

As Damian and Alfred stood there, surrounded by the masterpieces you had created, a sense of resolve settled over Damian. He frowns and takes a look around all the work of your art. His style doesn't differ much from yours. the caress of brush ever so slightly seen, and the emotions behind the soul of your paintings, like his. What made you so similar to him? And that, he will not know until he finds you.

He knew that finding you and bringing you back was not just about making amends—it was about recognizing and celebrating the unique and irreplaceable person you were.

Y/n considered themselves a keen observer, attuned to the delicate nuances of the world around them. They noticed the gentle yet sometimes harsh swaying of the wind as it danced with the leaves, creating a symphony of nature's whispers. They noticed the lady sitting on the park bench, quietly absorbing the view of the home she once grew up in, her memories interwoven with the present. They noticed the ducks by the pond, gracefully gliding through the water alongside their mother, a portrait of serene tranquility.

Y/n noticed everything, yet no one noticed them. And it was fine. They had long accepted this reality, enduring the loneliness of being invisible in a world where they saw so much. The weight of being unnoticed had become a familiar companion, a constant presence that shaped their existence. In the silent spaces between moments, Y/n found solace in their observations, finding beauty in the overlooked and meaning in the mundane.

So why were they just noticing you just now? Why? When you have just started to accept and move on. Why must they bring the horrors of the past when your current life is filled with hope arraying a new journey, now destroyed.

Why couldn’t Dick just let you be, drifting away in the silence you’d crafted? Why couldn’t he leave you to fade quietly, just as you had promised yourself you would, a ghost of your former self, untouched and unbothered? Yet there he was, an ever-present weight, his hands—rough, calloused, scarred by years of untold burdens—forcing your face into the past, as if his touch could rewrite history. His fingers dug into your skin, twisted into the soft contours of your face, tearing through the years of numbness, of denial, dragging you back to a place you had sworn you’d never return.

And then, Tim. Oh, Tim. The boy who once didn’t even see you, who barely even remembered your name when it lingered in the air of the manor. Now, he’s relentless, his fingers tapping into your phone with the same quiet insistence that his presence once had in the dark halls of that place you used to call home. You want to scream, to rip the silence apart, to do anything but feel what you’re feeling now—this suffocating pull to return to them, to face them, even when you know you never should have to again.

The ache swells, the lump in your throat is a tangible thing now, a choking presence you can’t swallow down. It’s the same searing pain that’s lingered, festering, hidden beneath layers of what you pretended was healing. How cruel it is, to have spent so much time trying to break free, only to find that some things, some people, are never quite done with you.

The ghost of them lingers, burrows deeper, with every unanswered message. They still haunt you, even from afar. You hate them for it, for still holding the power to break you open, to make you bleed from places you thought had long scarred over. It feels like a thousand wounds opening up again—slow, deliberate, bleeding you dry in a way you don’t know how to stop.

You stared blankly into the emptiness, feeling numb, when suddenly a hand rested on your shoulder. You flinched instinctively and turned to see who it was. Your eyes widened as you recognized your ballet teacher standing behind you. "Miss Kavinsky! I-I... Hi! I’m—" you stammered, but she quickly cut you off with a smile.

"Y/N L/N-Wayne, I know," she said with a warm tone. "It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you."

You winced slightly, the sound barely audible, but Miss Kavinsky didn’t seem to notice. "Come on, let’s meet the other dancers. I’m sure they’re eager to meet you."

The surprise hit you hard, and you stuttered, "M-me?" You couldn’t help but feel like an idiot.

She grinned, a playful mix of amusement and mild disbelief on her face. "Yes, you. You're kind of a celebrity here, Wayne. Not surprised with a talent like yours."

Her words lingered in the air, but you went quiet, caught off guard by the compliment. You couldn’t fully process it, the idea of anyone looking up to you seemed so foreign, so distant. And somewhere in the haze, you barely registered the way she had called you "Wayne.”

As you and the other dancers gathered at the stage, a wave of anxiety washed over you. The weight of thoughts about Tim and Dick pressed heavily on your mind, and the pressure of the moment only made it worse. Just as your mind started to spiral, a voice cut through the chaos.

"Hey! You're Y/N, right? I'm Desiree, but you can just call me Des."

You forced a smile, barely hearing Miss Kavinsky as her voice faded into the background, announcing something about attendance. Your attention was now solely focused on Des, who had just broken the ice. You shook her hand and smiled more genuinely, the tension in your body loosening up a bit.

"Hi, Des. Yeah, you already know who I am. Nice to meet you."

You both exchanged a quiet laugh, and the chatter around you faded as you continued talking. For a moment, you felt like you could breathe again. You asked the usual questions: "How old are you?" "What's your favorite ballet?" The conversation flowed easily, but when your name was suddenly called for attendance, you were snapped back to reality.

"Here!" you called out, your voice getting lost in the sea of dancers.

But then Des said something that made you freeze.

"So, are you excited that both of you are here?" she asked with a playful giggle, her smile sweet and innocent.

You blinked, confused, but smiled through it. "Both of us...?" you repeated, trying to follow along.

Des chuckled softly at your puzzled expression. "You and your sister, silly! It must be so nice to perform together. My brother wouldn't even try to get into ballet, you know?"

Her words, lighthearted as they were, suddenly made your world feel like it was crashing down around you. You felt a cold panic begin to rise. Your fingers instinctively dug into your palms, almost drawing blood. Your smile wavered, barely holding on, while your eyes fluttered, teetering on the edge of tears. Des’s voice became distant, her words fading into a muffled blur as your thoughts spiraled out of control, bloodshot eyes starting to sting with unshed tears. Your heart raced, and the chaos inside you was too much to contain.

In that very moment, her name echoed through the air, sharp and clear. Without thinking, your gaze shifted, and you locked eyes with her. Her wide, unblinking stare pierced through the noise, anchoring you in place. For a fleeting second, you wondered if she had been watching you all along—since the instant your name was called, or perhaps even before. You couldn't be sure.

What you did know, however, was that the weight of her gaze felt like a force, pulling you into a quiet abyss. It made you feel small, fragile—as if you were prey beneath the steady, unyielding gaze of a predator. A shiver ran through you, and suddenly, all you wanted was to escape, to flee from the suffocating intensity of her eyes, which seemed to strip away every layer of protection you had left.

The fates were clearly playing with you now.

Cassandra was an exceptionally gifted individual, much like her siblings, each of whom possessed their own unique abilities. From the moment she first pursued ballet, her family showered her with unwavering love and support. She had access to training that most could only dream of—privileges afforded to her not because of her wealth, but because she was no ordinary person. She was Batgirl, the daughter of Batman by choice, a mantle she wore with pride. So, when an invitation arrived for her to join the prestigious Swan Lake performance alongside other top-tier dancers, it hardly came as a surprise. After all, excellence was something she had always embraced, both on the stage and off.

As she gets ready for her first rehearsal she can't help but notice that some of her siblings are missing. She shook it off and ate her food but also not abandoning the thought of asking about the absence of her siblings and father, to a familiar companion of their family:Alfred. As where Alfred only replies with them being busy about.. Something, yet said to her to fret not and just worry her mind about her ballet play, quickly chasing away her concerns for her family with a smile that made her feel lighthearted. With a chuckle she got up and made her way to the location of where the dancers were told to meet.

Cass had always believed she was the only one in her family who truly appreciated the delicate artistry of ballet. Her passion for the graceful movements, the precision of each step, and the beauty of the performances had always felt like a private world to her, a world she inhabited alone. She couldn’t recall a single moment where anyone in her family shared even the slightest interest in it. So, when she entered the crowded theater that evening, expecting to be surrounded only by fellow ballet enthusiasts, she was taken aback by something unexpected.

Amidst the sea of unfamiliar faces, she spotted you. For a fleeting moment, her heart skipped a beat, not from the rush of seeing someone in the crowd, but from an overwhelming sense of familiarity that washed over her. There you were, standing like a ghost from a forgotten past, an unexplainable connection sparking between you both. Cass couldn’t place it, but it was as though she had known you forever, even though your paths had never crossed before.

Her mind wandered, replaying the memories that had been buried deep within her. A distant image flashed across her thoughts: she was standing in a room filled with soft, pastel-colored fabrics, the scent of leather and polish hanging in the air. Two pairs of pointe shoes rested beside one another on the floor—one was familiar, worn and well-loved, the other brand new, the laces still fresh and untangled. The second pair, the one that felt entirely foreign, immediately piqued her curiosity. She was certain it wasn’t hers, yet the connection to it lingered, something so subtle but undeniable.

The realization hit her like a wave. She didn’t know you, not consciously, but somehow she felt bound to you, as if fate had woven your lives together in some strange, invisible thread long before either of you had even been aware of it.

The entire day she watched and observed you. She paid extra attention to every detail of your expressions, body language, and posture. She didn't know why but you seemed to be very clear–in her case, in distress, like you were panicking over something. And she didn't know why she somehow hated seeing you that way. As the minutes passed, she found herself simply just staring at you. Not even for a fleeting moment had she taken her gaze of you. She watched and observed tensely at every person who looks at you, who talks to you, who breathes near you. Almost as if she was guarding you. As they were told to gather she followed silently after the crowd and placed herself purposely in front of the other side from you. She scoffs in amusement as you barely notice her, too focused on your own little world. As minutes continued to pass, suddenly a girl broke you out of her thoughts with her voice making you flinch. Her breath hitched as irritation started to crawl their way through her chest. Why couldn't the girl be more gentle with you? Can't she see that you were clearly stressed? She frowns slightly at the girl, surprising herself by the sudden change of mood. She holds her breath and watches you like a hawk would at its prey. Her vision was filled with your now loosen frame, giggling with the girl who approached you earlier. A new feeling started to claw its way through her chest, now bigger and stronger. The green monster eating her up when suddenly the call of her voice brought her out of her thoughts as she, for a moment took her eyes off of you to answer quietly to her name and as she bring back her gaze to you, quickly to not miss anything she might take the pleasure in seeing, suddenly your eyes are on her too. Her eyes couldn't leave the sight of your gaze who held such horror in them, as if seeing her was too much for you. As she was your living nightmare sitting right in front of you.

The remaining time the dancers practiced, you avoided her gaze and her presence. The more you avoided her, the more she itched to be in your presence alone, to be near you. The whole time at the practice she was, for the first time, distracted. Her thoughts are consumed by you. Her thoughts came up with every question she could ask about her and your current situation. What were you doing here? Why didn't she know? Were you at the manor? No, if you were she would've known.. Right? Okay if you weren't, then why weren't you? Those questions alone made her uneasy and frustrated. As it was time to go home, she watched as you hurriedly got out and quickly went home to wherever your home was. The nagging feeling screamed at her to follow you but decided against it and thought that going home and bringing the news to her family might help more. After all, they were stronger together.

She stormed into the manor, urgency in her every step, and sought out Alfred with a single, breathless demand: "Boys. Where?" Without hesitation, he led her to them. Her gaze fell upon them, intense and unyielding, her pupils trembling with an unspoken storm. She whispered a single name, a breathless, haunting utterance: "Y/N." The boys, in unison, responded, "We know."

A deep breath escaped her, the weight of their actions—venturing after you without so much as a word—forgotten for the moment. She snatched a laptop, her fingers flying over the keys in a frantic dance of their own. The screen flickered to life, revealing a video that stole the breath from the room. There you were, dancing—each movement a testament to grace, each step more captivating than the last.

The world had already fallen under your spell. The internet buzzed with adoration, praising the way your every turn, every leap, every pause held the audience in thrall. Under the stage lights, you seemed more than human—a celestial being, your form bathed in soft light, glowing like an ethereal angel, kissed by the very air around you. The boys stood frozen, their gaze fixed upon you, entranced.

Your presence was no illusion. You were a goddess of their own making, and in that moment, they knew: they were already devoted, bound by the silent understanding that they would worship you, body and soul.

As the video played, the room fell into a hushed reverence. The boys, once brimming with urgency and tension, now stood motionless, their eyes locked onto the screen, as if spellbound. Every fluid movement you made seemed to breathe life into the very air around them. They couldn’t look away; they didn’t want to. Your every step, every pirouette, was poetry in motion, a delicate balance of strength and grace that made their hearts race.

The way you arched your back mid-spin, the soft brush of your fingertips against your skin, the quiet breath you took before every leap—it all drew them in, slowly, methodically, as though they were witnessing something far beyond the ordinary. Each turn of your body mirrored the very rhythm of their own hearts, synchronized with the ethereal pulse of the music, and they couldn’t help but feel as if the entire world had narrowed down to this one sacred moment.

Your eyes, though focused on the stage, seemed to flicker with a spark of something far deeper, something they couldn't quite place but could almost taste. It was like watching a dream unfold, where every movement became a metaphor—each glide across the stage spoke to something eternal, something untouchable. They found themselves lost in the elegance of your form, the way your body seemed to move with a natural fluidity that defied the laws of physics.

The lights above you softened, caressing your silhouette, painting you in a divine glow. And in that moment, they felt small, insignificant even, as if you had been carved out of stardust itself, too perfect to comprehend, yet impossible to ignore. It wasn’t just the skill of your dance—it was your presence, your essence that held them captive.

They felt an almost primal pull, as though your every movement was speaking directly to their souls. The way your body spoke without words—your elegance and power blending seamlessly—rendered them speechless. They were entranced by the aura you carried, intoxicated by your beauty and the mystery you exuded, a beauty that wasn’t merely skin-deep but radiated from within, a force of nature.

For a fleeting moment, they could almost believe that you were more than human, that you were something higher, something divine. They stood there, wide-eyed and breathless, as if they had been granted a glimpse of something sacred—something that no one else could understand. And in that moment, they knew that they would follow you, worship you, in a devotion that transcended mere admiration. You weren’t just captivating; you were everything. They couldn't believe that someone like you had been overlooked by then.

Bruce now understands that with no plan in mind he would still follow you till the end of the earth. Oh his little baby. He would do anything to earn your love and affection for him. To see you and to bask under the ray of sunshine your smile brings. To feel your presence alone.

Dick now understands that he owes you more than a few dinners or dates as siblings. No. He owes you the world. As guilt eats his flesh up one by one, mourning all the versions of you that he could have witnessed right before his eyes are now long gone. But that's okay, he'll make it up to you.

Tim now understands that you were surely his angel. His savior. His form of salvation. He could watch you all day and never get bored. He could listen to you all day until his ears bled but never say a word.

Damian now understands that the disbelief he felt when looking at your paintings full of emotions overflowing with a sense of overwhelming feel, was now long gone because he knew that only such being like you, almost like a supernatural being, could be the only one who has the ability to capture such deep emotions in one painting, to be able to create such beautiful, breathtaking object.

Cassandra now understands why she felt like she somehow had a connection to you and that was because she was your sister. And as she was a daughter to batman by choice, that she will also be a sister by choice to you. She was an observer, someone who guards-and she will guard you with her life for all eternity.

As the overwhelming tension fills the room Alfred stands at the corner with a small smile. “apologies master y/n had I done this sooner, you would have not slipped through my grasp dear child. Do not fret for your family is coming to get you.”

Ah, Alfred, the mastermind. He knew this would happen. He just needed to intertwine a little. He did not worry because he knew. He knew that leaving your bedroom door open the moment he knew Dick was coming over to the manor while the others were busy, and knowing Dick's tendency to wander off in the vast expanse of Wayne Manor, the chances of him finding your room were high. He knew that rearranging your trophies inside your room (which you had told him to get rid of) would pique the interest of your family even more. He knew that decorating your hidden paintings around the minimalist and empty walls of the house would catch the attention of the youngest Wayne. He knew that playing those soft melodies of your voice through the small TV in the kitchen would enchant a certain sleep-deprived boy, making him miss the sweet sound of your voice.

Alfred knew that when Cassandra was called for the big ballet play, you would be at the same play too, as you had told him over the phone, giggling and excited with a high-pitched voice. He didn't bother to tell you about your sister's similar invitation, nor did he inform your sister about yours. He knew every single detail, every thread that needed to be woven together to create this intricate tapestry of reconnection.

Alfred's wisdom was like a silent symphony, orchestrating events with a delicate touch. He understood the nuances of each family member, their strengths, their weaknesses, and their desires. He knew that Dick's curiosity would lead him to your room, where the trophies would spark memories and questions. He knew that Damian's keen eye for detail would be drawn to the vibrant paintings, each brushstroke a testament to your hidden talents. He knew that Tim, in his sleep-deprived state, would be captivated by the melodies of your voice, a soothing balm to his restless mind.

Alfred's heart ached with the knowledge of your absence, but he also held hope. Hope that these carefully placed breadcrumbs would lead your family back to you, to the realization of what they had lost and the determination to make amends. He knew that the path to reconciliation was not an easy one, but it was a journey worth taking.

As the days passed, Alfred watched with a knowing smile as the pieces began to fall into place. He saw the flicker of recognition in Dick's eyes, the softening of Damian's demeanor, and the spark of determination in Tim's gaze. He knew that the seeds he had planted were beginning to grow, and soon, the family would be whole again.

Alfred was getting old and he couldn't bare the vision of his children Bruce and you, drifting away from each other, and you from him. Maybe it was his own selfish reason but he couldn't help it. He raised you from the moment you got to the manor. Teached you everything he knew and gave you all the love he could. He watched you grew up and maybe it was a moment of rush that he allowed himself to be selfish and turn the tables around.

In the quiet moments, Alfred allowed himself a moment of reflection. He thought of you, the child who had brought so much light into his life. He knew that you deserved to be seen, to be cherished, and to be loved. And he would do everything in his power to ensure that you found your way back to the family that needed you just as much as you needed them.

Authors note: I'm sorry I took so long in writing this! I hope yall enjoy the 10k+ words I wrote. One tip tho is to read and observe the details very carefully! Dw I'm gonna explain it soon tho. Hope yall enjoy this cuz imma take a break after this.

[laceyfaeryy]

What about Simon on a mission injured, with his pretty little nurse, who everyone knows because of her temper, but is so so submissive with him?

MDNI 18+

cw: brief mentions of gunshot wound, oral (m) receiving

“fuck, i did a bad one didn’t i luvie?” simon grunted as he sat shirtless on the bed, his wound bandaged up. it wasn’t a secret that simon took an interest in you, after all he was mainly surrounded by men and not pretty women like you. “you should’ve been more careful, any deeper and you could’ve bled out badly,” your voice soft but slightly stern, as if you were trying to hide your concern.

a lazy smile formed on his face, “s’not like i could’ve avoided a gunshot wound easily, ‘m not that good.” captain price walked into the room, his shoulders relaxing under the heavy uniform when he saw simon. “bet yer getting a good lashin from the nurse eh? she’s got quite an attitude.”

oh, if only they knew.

you stayed the night at the medical facility, a lame excuse of spending more time with simon. “you’re injured, the last thing you would want is to do some strenuous activities,” you mumbled, trying to keep yourself occupied so he wouldn’t see the faint blush on your cheeks. “awh come on luvie, yer old man is injured and you can’t provide some sort of relief?” his voice soft as he gently tugged you towards him.

“just a few bounces won’t hurt.”

“or you can blow me.”

he winced when you gently smacked his chest, “come on luvie, ‘m a strong man i know my limits.” his large hands gently rubbed along your sides, your thin uniform barely doing anything to hide the shivers. “everyone talks about yer feisty mouth, about time i see it hm?”

it was funny hearing his task mates talk about your attitude, but yet you were all gooey eyed for him whenever he snuck into your room late at night, making you cock drunk. a few thrusts in your little cunt and you would do whatever he says - literally simon says, it was pathetically cute.

“gonna suck my cock pretty nurse? or do i have to fuck it in my hands in front of you?”

he knew exactly what you were going to chose.

“atta girl,” he hissed as you knelt by the flimsy medical bed, his large tatted hand holding up your hair in a pony tail. “gotta stuff that pretty lil mouth every once in a while after givin’ everyone some attitude.”

you gagged slightly when you took him too deeply, drooling all over his cock and making a mess on your hands. “take yer time luvie, no one is gonna see us,” simon cooed softly at the pathetic sight of you. god, everyone knew about how fiery you were but here you are on your knees sucking simon off.

“fuck luvie ‘m gonna cum,” he grunted as his hips thrusted slightly, the feeling of your warm mouth milking him dry. eventually he spilt all of it in your mouth, a string of saliva connecting from your mouth to the tip of his cock.

“such a pretty girl, someone’s gotta tame you hm?”

simon gently smearing the cum that dribbled down his cock along your plush swollen lips, making them glossy. gently he slipped his thumb in, you obediently sucking it. “got yer real good hm?”

tag list: @happysmappy @mydickishuge560 @prettyinpink-bimbo @dolli333 @madebyyicarus @l-otti @butlerslut @vampwifee @i-wanabe-yours @bluebarrybubblez @cinnamongrl2006 @akkahelenaa @yanfeiiiiii @actualpoppy @lilyalone

[gojorgeous]

“heatwaves”

pairing: alpha!gojo x omega!fem!reader summary: when a work trip takes you to japan, the last thing you expect is a heatwave... and some guy with blue eyes? content: MDNI (18+ only), nsfw, a/b/o dynamics, no established relationship, dubcon (i feel like it’s always kinda dubcon with a/b/o), p->v, unprotected sex, creampie, breeding, biting, blood, marking, spit, praise, swearing, pet names (baby/sweetheart/princess), brief mention/implication of pregnancy, knotting, reader gets picked up, reader is american, reader is unaware of their omega status, reader experiences their first heat, reader and satoru “bond” without having a fully conscious conversation, reader and satoru are early twenties. a/n: it's here! somebody spay me. by popular demand i have written alpha!gojo for you all… just a classic reader goes into an accidental heat at work and (x) character happens to be the nearest alpha LMAO. this is entirely uncreative, but i love it for that!!! straight smut with a little plot if you squint hard enough! i hope it lives up to your expectations. find my alpha!geto fic here and find the list of my 1k event fics here. enjoy and remember, ALL AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED! credits: dividers by @cafekitsune. wc: 5k

Nobody ever told you that Japan was so damn hot. 

Hot was not what came to mind when you’d heard you’d be taking a trip to Tokyo. Temples? Sure. Mt. Fuji? Great. Hot? No fucking way. 

But, here you were, boiling away under the sun on what you’d thought would be a fun little work trip. Instead, you were just suffering with every step, trying to listen to what Principal Yaga was saying and failing miserably. 

“These are the sparring courts. No students right now, but they’ll start training within the hour.” 

You rub at the back of your neck, cringing when your palm comes away coated with a thin layer of sweat. Gross. 

You lift your eyes to the sky, wondering how much longer this was going to take. Your little trip to Japan was to organize an exchange program with Jujutsu Tech. Your students had been begging to take a trip to Tokyo, to where their cursed energy would be closer to the source and, consequently, stronger. You had to admit, it was a good idea. A few months spent training here in Japan would do them good. From the moment you’d set foot on Japanese soil, your power had thrummed faster in your veins than ever before. 

Principal Yaga was giving you a tour of the grounds and had sealed your horrible fate when he’d decided to start outside. You barely heard a word the man said. New York was never this hot…

“Are you alright?” You blink, fanning your face as best you can. It provides no relief. God, it felt like the heat was penetrating your fucking bones… 

When your eyes slide to Principal Yaga, you’re surprised to see that he looks genuinely concerned. “Y-yeah.” You blink again, shocked by your own stutter. Maybe you were coming down with something? “I’m fine, just not used to this kind of heat, I guess.” You fan your face again and clench your jaw when it still does nothing. 

Yaga’s brows furrow and you see him glance around, like he’ll find said heat standing next to him. How was he wearing so many layers? 

“How about we head inside and take a break, then? We can continue the tour… later.” You nearly fall to the ground and kiss his feet. Air conditioning is truly God's gift to man… 

You smile and it’s all genuine. “That would be amazing. Thank you.” 

Yaga nods, but you think his eyes linger on you for just a beat too long before he turns. He still looks confused… or maybe flustered? That only leaves you confused. 

You follow after him, each step feeling like you’re sinking deep into cement. You tug at the collar of your shirt, trying to get some ventilation. When you finally reach the building you nearly sigh with relief. Air conditioning… that’ll be good. Just what you need. A few minutes inside and you’ll be good to go. You’ll just have to remember not to wear so many damn layers again when you continue the tour. 

You’re smiling as you step inside, so ready for relief that you’re practically shaking– but relief never comes. Your brows furrow. You brush your arm through the air. It… doesn’t help. It’s strange– you can feel the coolness of the air conditioning, feel it gliding up and across your skin, but the heat doesn’t subside, doesn’t so much as lessen. 

“I trust you know how to find anything you might–” Yaga clears his throat. “Need?” 

 Your brows furrow. He’d shown you all the school’s resources last night and your room was already stocked with food, toiletries, and every other thing you could possibly need. Of course you knew where everything was… 

“Yes… Thank you.” 

Yaga shifts so uncomfortably you think that maybe he’s about to pee his pants. “Right, well, you have my contact information. Let me know if I can be of assistance in connecting you to any… resources.”

You’re more confused now than you were at the start of this conversation. “Right…” 

“Take care.” 

Yaga shoots you one last– worried?- glance and stalks down the hall. You’re left wondering what the hell is happening in his mind and why he seemed so desperate to offer you resources? 

You blink, clearing your mind as best you can, but some sort of fog seems to be settling over your consciousness. Definitely coming down with something, you think. 

You make your way through the halls, steps still feeling suspiciously heavy and heat still radiating off your body. A cold shower. That’ll help. Or so you thought. The further you walk, the more each hallway starts to look like the next. Was it left or right next? Was this hallway always a dead end? Since when was there a bathroom there?

You’re leaning against the wall now, panting. Something is pooling in your gut, something warm and far too intense. Your inner thighs are wet, too. You want to convince yourself it’s sweat, but… you’re horny. More horny than you’ve ever been in your whole damn life. You think you might die if you don’t get some dick in the next ten minutes. What the fuck?

You slide yourself into the next room you see: an empty classroom. Thank fucking god. You grab the back of a chair, hands shaking with how hard you’re gripping the wood. You take a deep breath. You need to get a hold of yourself, need to figure out what the fuck is happening to you.  

You swallow and try your best to think. It’s not without difficulty. Your head feels like somebody’s filled it with glue. It takes a minute for a coherent thought to come through, but when it does, you think it’s a good one. Doctor. 

Yes– you don’t feel well, so obviously a doctor is the correct choice, right? You scramble for your phone in your back pocket but freeze when the brush of your own hand against your ass sends a jolt up your spine. What the fuck is wrong with you? 

Carefully, you extract your phone from your pocket, but it’s too difficult to even remember your fucking passcode. You press your thighs together, trying to relieve some of the overwhelming ache that’s forming between your legs. Something is definitely wrong.

You fumble with your phone, but your hands are shaking so hard it just tumbles to the floor. 

“Fuck,” you breathe. “Fuck, fuck, fuck?” 

“Yo, who’s baking cookies in here without me?” 

Your head snaps up and, with some difficulty, your eyes settle on a… man. You suck in a breath. He’s… dazzling. He’s wearing all black, but it’s not a student uniform. One of the teachers that you’ve yet to meet, then. White hair and pale skin contrasts against his clothes, but his eyes are covered by a pair of sunglasses set low on his nose. Even in your delirious state you still have the wherewithal to wonder who the fuck wears sunglasses inside. 

You get a quick look at him before a wave of intense- fuck, desire?- washes over you. You tremble again and shock yourself when a whimper tumbles from your lips. 

“Oh, shit,” you hear him say. You glance at him from the corner of your eye and watch him inhale again– deeply. His lips part. “Oh, shit.”

You clench your jaw and tighten your grip on your chair. Your legs are shaking now– you can barely stand. You squeak pitifully. 

The second the sound leaves your throat you hear footsteps– rapid, hurried, concerned, ones. Warm hands clasp your waist and you cry out at the touch, electricity sparking on your skin. 

“Shhh, it’s okay.” He turns you gently to face him, hands steadying your swaying body. “Who the fuck left you alone in here?” His hand is rubbing soothing circles on your lower back now and you think you’ve never felt something so good in your life. It’s so good that you almost miss what he said. Almost. 

“W-What?” You see his brows furrow as you peek up at him. At this angle you can see under his sunglasses. His eyes are blue. Really fucking blue. You think he might be the most attractive man you’ve ever seen, even with the expression of… anger?- that he’s currently wearing. 

“Whoever he is, I'll kill him.” 

That makes you blink. An extra sliver of clarity opens in your brain. “What are you talking about?”

He tugs you a little closer, wrapping an arm fully around your waist and pressing you up against him. You try to ignore the fact that you love it, that you want nothing more than to wrap yourself around him and climb him like a fucking tree. 

“What idiot leaves an omega going into heat?” He’s glaring at the doorway like he’s torn between staying here with you and running after said idiot to pommel him into the ground. 

“‘M not an omega.” The words are out before you’ve even stopped to consider them. It’s true. You’re not an omega. You’re a beta. You’ve always been a beta. You’ve got the little “B” on your ID card to prove it. You were tested at birth, just like everyone else, and even if you really were an omega you would have presented years ago.

He only glances down at you and snorts. “Funny, sweetheart.” His hand is still rubbing those little circles into your back and it’s enough to make that fogginess in your mind grow a little thicker. 

But your fear, your uncertainty outways your instinct. You pound a weak fist against his chest, not to push him away, but to get his attention. He’s still glaring at the doorway like he wants to murder it. 

“‘M serious,” you gasp. “I’m a beta… I don’... know whas’ happenin’… to me.” Each word is a tremendous effort to form. Your tongue seems to have lost its ability to do anything but hang limply. 

That gets his attention. He lifts a hand, gently brushing your hair back from your eyes and then cupping your jaw. “Is this your first heat?” 

You find yourself leaning into his touch despite the fact that you’ve only known him for thirty seconds. Your eyelids flutter. “N-Not a heat… jus’ feel… sick.”

His brows furrow again, deeper this time, and he shakes his head. “How old are you?”

You know why he asks. Most omegas present around eighteen or nineteen. “Older than… nineteen…” You try to laugh, but it only comes out as a whimper.

That answer only serves to make him push closer. You feel his hand trailing down your neck, skimming gently over the skin until he reaches a spot you hadn't even realized was so… sore. You keen at the touch. Fuck, no. There was no way. You had swollen fucking scent glands. 

You try to push away, but he pulls you in, burying his face in your neck. You shudder when he groans. “You smell like a damn bakery exploded,” he chuckles, and the sound is muffled by your skin. When he pulls away he makes it look like the action is physically painful. He cups your face again. “Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you’re an omega. If this is your first heat then…” he swallows and your eyes track the bob of his throat. “You’re just a late bloomer, baby.”

You shake your head desperately. It’s just the stupid heatwave. It’s just… hot outside… right? 

You try to think about how this could be possible. It could be that the test you took as a baby was wrong… it happened sometimes. It was rare, but it happened. But if you were an omega, what would have triggered your presentation now? What had changed? 

Your eyes widen. Japan. You’d set foot in fucking Japan. Ever since you’d gotten here, you’d felt power pulsing in your veins. Maybe it hadn’t been just power… 

“N-no–” 

A gentle thumb smooths over your cheek and you meet his eyes again. You shiver when you see a whole lot more black than blue. “You have no alpha?” 

You whimper, leaning into him. Touch me, touch me, touch me, a part of you begs. You shake your head again and a tear slides down your cheek. “No,” you whisper. 

Strong arms slide beneath your knees and you squeak when you’re suddenly suspended in the air. When you glance up he’s grinning triumphantly. “You have one now,” is all he says before he’s carrying you out of the classroom and twisting through the halls. 

Warmth rushes over you at the sensation of being held, and something begs you to give into it, to give into the heat still washing over you, to the throbbing between your legs. You fight it and fight it hard. 

“Where’re we going?” you ask, but your voice is sounding more and more like a whisper. 

His eyes stay focused ahead, even as he presses a comforting kiss to the crown of your head. “Your room, sweetheart.” 

Your brows scrunch. “How d’ you know where–” 

“‘M following your scent, baby.” 

He can do that? You bury your face in his neck, embarrassed, only to be hit by a different scent so delicious your mouth starts watering. You groan. Loudly. There’s a scent pouring from his neck that’s filling your head with memories of spices you can’t name, but suddenly know you love. 

You think you hear him chuckle and then feel a gentle hand on the back of your neck, encouraging you. You snuggle deeper into him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and burying your fingers in his hair. Taste him, taste him, taste him your mind chants. It’s too good an offer to deny. You lick a stripe across his skin. 

Your groans are instant. He’s squeezing you closer, leaning into your touch, and you’re pulling him closer. Your fingers curl into his jacket, tugging and tugging. You lick again and now he’s the one groaning. 

“Damn, that feels good,” He sounds as surprised by that fact as you feel. The swaying of his steps comes to a sudden halt. You whine, missing the rocking of his body. “Think we’re here, princess. This it?” His hand is smoothing over your hair, slowly coaxing you away from the curve of his neck. You blink, not wanting to leave the paradise of his scent, but also feeling some overwhelming urge to please him.

Your eyes settle on a door and you recognize a little chip in the wood. You nod. “Mhm.” 

You gasp when his hand grips your hip, wriggling through your pocket until he pulls out a little brass key. 

“Perfect,” he says, and his voice sounds like he’s all too pleased with himself. He shimmies your key in the knob until the lock clicks and then you’re inside. The door slams shut loud enough to make you jump and squeak. 

“Oops, sorry, baby. Guess I’m a little excited, heh.” His hand squeezes your hip soothingly and you mewl at the wave of heat that pulses through you. Your clit throbs almost painfully and you feel something gush onto your thighs. You whimper. 

He inhales. “Oh, shit,” he breathes, and then you’re moving again. He navigates your room like he knows it. He probably does. From what you can tell, most of the rooms at Jujutsu Tech follow a standard layout. He weaves down a hall to the left and then into your bedroom on the right. 

He lays you on the bed gently, tenderly, like he’s afraid you might break if he drops you so much as an inch. “There we go,” he breathes. You can’t deny that it feels good, that it feels right, to be lying on the softness of your mattress, but it’s not enough. 

You claw at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and pulling him close. You want something from him, need something, but you can’t name what. You just know that the heat boiling beneath your skin can only be sated by him, that the throbbing between your legs can only be calmed by him. “P-Please,” you whimper. Tears well in your eyes. You need him so bad it physically hurts. 

The smile he gives you is soft and genuine and it takes your breath away. He dips his head and you think you see him slide those sunglasses down his nose and toss them to the side. You don’t pay too close attention, though, because he’s kissing your neck again and your body is screaming with sensation. 

“Aw, I know, baby. Don’ worry. ‘M gonna take care of you now. Jus’ relax.” 

His words spark something in you– your last bit of consciousness. A brief moment of clarity shines through the fog of your mind and you remember what the hell is happening, what the hell you’re doing. You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head desperately. No, no, no, this is not happening to you. There’s no way.

“Hey, now. None a’ that.” Fingers clasp your chin, holding you still. When you peek your eyes open, you see that he has in fact removed his sunglasses and that his eyes are more black pupil than dazzling blue. His jaw is clenched and his breathing is heavy. “Don’t try t’ fight it. Jus’ try to enjoy it…” His head dips and suddenly he’s nipping at your scent gland again. 

You thrash and scream, but not in fear or pain. You’ve never felt something so good in your life. Every graze of his teeth feels like heaven. Your skin zings with electricity, sending pulses of pure need straight between your thighs. 

You grab at him, tangling your fingers in his hair and tugging him closer. Your chest is heaving when you speak. “Please, p-please-” 

“Shhh…” You think you hear your shirt tearing, but you’re too focused on pulling him closer to care. His tongue licks a stripe up your throat and your eyes roll back. 

You’re sure your shirt is off now. You can feel the cool air, but it does nothing to ease the heat raging inside you, pulsing and pumping through your veins.You feel him tugging at your pants, too, and you try to raise your hips. He only shushes you again. “Jus’ relax. Let me do the work, baby.” 

Your pants are gone in seconds, even without your assistance. So is your bra and then your panties. He tries pulling away to undress himself, but you mewl and his eyes blow even blacker before he’s back over you again. He settles for popping the buttons straight off his shirt and shimmying out of his pants. 

The sight of his bare skin makes you whimper and then you’re clawing at him again, dragging your fingers across his shoulders, over his chest, down his abs. It’s a greedy touch and one that he returns. His palms move along your body, kneading and squeezing at any flesh he can grab. It feels so good that you think you might pass out– but it’s still not enough. Something is still missing. You feel… empty. 

His fingers trace across your stomach and it’s too late to realize what’s happening before he’s circling your clit. You jerk and jolt at the touch, but he presses his chest to yours, pinning you. The throbbing only worsens when his fingers settle into a rhythm. 

Tears leak down your cheeks. It’s too overwhelming. You’re burning– burning from the inside out. The pulsing between your thighs is all-consuming with its intensity, with its-

“Need! N-Need–” you’re crying out, but you don’t even know what to ask for– don’t even know what you need. 

“God, Fuck, I know, princess,” he groans. He licks a long stripe up your neck. “But ‘s your first heat. Gotta–” he has to pause to swallow. He’s panting, now, just as lost as you are, and you get the sense that he’s restraining himself. “Gotta get you ready… go slow.” 

You shake your head. Now, now, now is all you can think. You need him now. “No… please…” You bury your head in his neck and find that spot that’s pouring his spicy scent into the air. Your mouth waters and you lick him, letting your teeth graze his skin.

“Fuck!” He shivers atop you and you feel the pure strength restrained within his muscles. “Fuck- okay. Okay. Relax f’ me, princess.” 

You try, you really do, but your body refuses to do anything but try to pull him closer. You feel his fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs, pressing them up, up, up until they’re pressed tightly to your chest and your feet are dangling on his shoulders. The position makes you whine, feeling more exposed than you ever have before. 

“You on birth control, baby?” 

Your brows furrow. It’s becoming harder and harder to focus on what he’s saying rather than simply the sound of his voice. Were you? You try to think, try to remember through the pit of glue that is your brain. No…

You shake your head. “N-No…” 

There’s a slight pause, a beat of contemplation, and then he’s laughing. “Guess I’m bouta be a daddy then, heh.” He chuckles again and the sound rings through you with a wave of pure bliss. His lips brush your neck again, settling on your pulse and making you whine. “Don’t really mind as long as I get you.” Your head rolls back submissively, exposing your throat. Yes, yes, yes, your mind screams. There’s nothing you want more than that, you think.“Okay, here we go, baby.” 

There’s hardly any more warning. One second you feel him shifting between your thighs and the next he’s pressing inside of you, feeding his cock in inch by inch. The stretch is… delicious. It burns, fuels that fire inside you, but it makes the heat feel more… pleasurable. Your back arches and your head rolls back submissively. 

“Oh, fuck, princess.” His voice has gotten higher, more like a whine than anything else. When you gaze up at him you can see the flush in his cheeks, even through the fog in your mind. More, more, more your mind screams. Or maybe you say it aloud, because more is exactly what he gives you. The second you feel him tucked up against your cervix the second he begins to take you. He sets a pace that is somehow both brutal and gentle, with strokes that rattle your skull and also give you exactly what you need. His hands grip your hips, holding you still to take exactly what he wants to give. His head dips until he has his lips wrapped around your nipple, and his tongue is swirling so deliciously that you can’t help but drag your nails down his back. 

Your body rocks with every thrust, teeth rattling and eyes rolling. The heat inside you grows… tighter, like it’s all pooling to your core, waiting for something you still can’t quite name. 

“N-need…” You don’t know what you need, still. Only that you want to beg for it so badly it hurts. 

His tongue slides away from your nipple, tracing a line up between the valley of your breasts, over your collarbone, before he finally settles on your pulse once again. The nick of his teeth makes something click in your mind. This is what you need. Bite me, bite me, bite. Claim me, claim me, claim me. 

“Yes,” you breathe. Your fingers dig into his scalp, pulling him closer, coaxing his teeth to sink in, to stake their claim. “Oh God, yes. Please.” You sound delirious, you think, but then so does he when he answers. 

“Not yet, princess. Not yet.” His tongue darts out to lick across your neck again and you can only sob. Why not yet? Now, now, now… 

Tightness coils in your muscles, the throb at your core reaching a breaking point. You feel something coming, something like an orgasm but yet also not. You know that when whatever is pooling inside you releases, you will shatter, and you’re not sure you’ll ever be put back together. 

Your nails claw across his back hard enough to draw blood and the action forces out some sort of low grumble from his chest that makes you whimper and melt into the mattress. The tip of his nose draws a line up your throat. “Keep doin’ that, baby. Mark me up.” 

You don’t dare deny him. You scratch at his skin, desperately trying to pull him closer. His thrusts grow faster and your thighs begin to tremble and shake on his shoulders, overwhelmed with the intensity of all you’re feeling. You pull at him, grab at him, thread your fingers through his hair. 

Your body jolts with each thrust and you’re sure you’re going to burst any moment. But you can’t. Not yet. You still need something, something he hasn’t given you yet. He groans and the sound is so delicious that you feel it sliding over your skin and settling in your bones. 

“M’ gonna knot you now, princess,” he breathes. “Gonna make you feel so good. Gonna take care ‘ve you.”

You whimper at his words. You hope they’re true. You don’t think you can take much more of the incessant gnawing of need in your gut. 

“Please…” your voice is hardly more than a whisper. His breath is hot as it shakes against your neck. He’s licking and nipping at you ravenously, like he needs you just as badly, like he wants to claim you as badly as you want to be claimed. 

His thrusts quicken even further and your jaw falls open, neck arching. You don’t think you can hold on much longer. Apparently, neither can he. 

You feel it the moment he starts to swell inside you. It’s perfect, you think. It can’t get better than this– but then it does. 

His teeth graze your throat again, this time a little harsher and with a little more intent. “Mine,” he whispers. The second he bites you everything goes blurry. 

You’re experiencing… heaven. There is a rush of that electricity that buzzes under your skin. It bursts forth and you feel it reaching out, forming a link between the two of you that you know is now impenetrable. It pulses and burns and you can feel him, feel his pleasure, his desire, his need for you and only you– his need to make you his. You think your souls must be blending, merging, with how deep the connection runs. You think you know him, know everything you could possibly ever need to. You know he’s the one. You know he’s yours.

It’s perfect, the way it fulfills every desire you’ve ever had, the way he notches inside your cunt like that’s where he was made to be, the way his teeth clamp around your throat and bond you together forever.

You scream for him, you think, but you can’t tell through the complete and total haze of pleasure. Your walls spasm around him, milking him for every last drop, and you feel the heat of his cum coating your cervix. The heat at your center finally releases, bursting and flooding through you in a way that feels like pure bliss has been injected into your veins. Your thighs quake and tremble with the pure intensity of it all and white spots dot your vision. 

His body is tense above you, shivering with the magnitude of what’s just happened. He’s groaning into your neck, your flesh still clamped between his teeth like he never wants to let go. You’re not sure you ever want him to. 

Your breaths shake in and out, lungs heaving as you finally come down. His knot is still settled deep inside you and with the few strings of consciousness that slowly filter back into your mind you know that he’ll remain there for a while.

His teeth release from your neck with a squelch that you think you would be sickening in any other context, but only makes you whimper at the loss of contact. He only hums and finds your hand, twining your fingers together as he laps at the fresh bite on your throat. It feels… amazing. Not in the way it felt before, like he was licking pure lust straight onto your skin, but more like he’s giving you a comfort you have never known in your life. You feel safe in his arms, like nothing could ever hurt you here. 

His lips press a final kiss to your throat before you feel him shifting. He gently rolls you both onto your sides, getting comfortable and pulling you to his chest while you both wait for the next wave of lust to hit you. It will, you know. Sooner rather than later, too. Your mind has cleared enough to realize what’s happening, what’s to come. You won’t be leaving this room, this bed, for quite some time. 

A gentle hand brushes a sweaty lock of hair from your eyes before it settles on the nape of your neck, massaging the sore muscles there. You sigh and raise your gaze to find him already looking at you, an easy smile on his lips. He has dimples, you realize, and he’s… breathtaking. And now… he’s all yours.

There’s a beat of silence between you, a moment of reconciliation with what’s just happened between you, of what it means. You blink up at him, your lips parting to say something, anything, but instead your brows furrow in thought.

His smile drops instantly. He leans into you, thumb caressing your cheek. “What is it, sweetheart?” 

Your mouth runs dry. You peek up at him from beneath your lashes. “What’s your name?”

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[darlnosis]

♯ Sylus Who . . .

pairing ⋮ sylus x chubby!fem!reader     ⟢

syn ⋮ smut , mdi , not proofread , long descs of hcs of sylus with chubby reader     ˎˊ˗

Sylus who stares at the way your belly sits through the tight dress he recently bought for you. the fabric stretches along your curves and folds that adorably sits right above your thighs. why are you sitting there so pretty like that? it's so distracting. and look how impatient he is; he's silently trembling in his seat, biting his tongue to prevent himself from tearing that dress off in public. all he wants to do is to mandhandle you and push his face into your warm body. you're like a personal heater for him so don't mind when he's kissing, praising, and leaving marks along your soft stomach.

Sylus who can't help but bite down harder and harder onto your poor breasts as punishment. he has his hands cupping harshly onto your cleavage, providing beautiful access to shove them inside his mouth. his tongue flicks against your sore nipples, slobbering along the tiny, brown slits that ooze with his spit. of course, he's glaring daggers into your soul when you're sat above him, straddling him and crying like a brat, tugging harshly onto his white locks.

Sylus whose favorite panties of yours are the plain-white ones where your dark pubes are visible when you wear them. what he loves most about this pair is how easily they get ruined and soaked from your wet cunt. he's nasty—don't blame him when he's pressing the tip of his cock against your soiled folds as if it could rip through the thin fabric.

Sylus who loves to get a handful of your ass whenever he wants to! it's funny to see you riled up and annoyed at his antics, fussing about his placement and the way his fingers dig into your flesh. he's a pervert and there is no shame in his game whenever it's clear that his eyes are staring right at your bum when you're bending over or behind him. allow him to give you a slap and watch it recoil; he's a bit audacious (until you're smacking and scolding him).

Sylus who eats pussy like he's a dying, starving, indigent man. he's nose deep, tongue violently flapping against your folds, sucking harshly on your abused clit as if he was going to detach it. he huffs into your thighs as you squeal, overstimulated and begging for him to loosen his grip. he's practically prying your knees apart like a predator, devouring you whole as he drools all over your pussy that's making a filthy, gushy noise every time you try to close your legs. you're hissing when you're cumming on his pussy-drunk face for the fourth time—is it even cum at this point?

Sylus who is reminding you of how beautiful you are while having you in a painful mating press. your mouth is slinging open and letting out lewd noises as you worry about how disgusting your expression and body is; how dare you try to cover your face in embarrassment. but truly, this man does not care. maybe he has to fuck you harder because of that dumb, little mind of yours dismissing your value and beauty. he has his cock straining inside you, bulging against your soft belly, and pumping in and out your gummy walls with his hands tightening around your wrists. your thighs are flush against his arms as your tits bounce at each of his thrusts, his broad chest hovering over your stomach that curls and folds beneath him. he finds you so pretty, especially now when you're rolling your eyes so far back as he's ramming inside that sweet g-spot in an agonizing pace—it's burning but why does that matter? sylus continues to place kisses on your tear stained cheeks and wet smooches on your chin as he murmurs lovesick praises; you really are a good girl.

Sylus who always has a forearm wrapped around your waist with your back against his; after an exhausting night, the aftercare is promised for tomorrow morning. you're waking up to his hand is cradling your stomach and his mouth pressed behind the back of your neck. it's sticky, hot, and sweaty as leftover cum stains in between your thighs. you desperately need to clean yourself but if you decide to get up, expect to be pulled back down into a more restricted embrace. you can't leave his warmth.

[beloveds-embrace]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Matchmaking Buns

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ in which your bunnies inadvertently lead you into meeting your new neighbors, who are far too endeared by you from the get-go <3

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

The thing is, you absolutely adore your bunnies. Two holland lops, one mini lop, and a flemish giant all together with full freedom of your house and a big garden for them to play in- with a bet overhead to protect them against hawks and whatever else. Hell, they even have a patio in case it rains.

You absolutely adore them. You worked your ass off to have a house like this, and then have enough money and space to give them everything they need. They are the lights of your life.

Simultaneously, they might possibly be your biggest source of headache.

All this space, all these spots and nooks and crannies for them to hide and play in- and their favorite activity still remains having you chase them down the road like the incorrigible brats they are. None of your neighbors are surprised by the sight anymore, often helping you but right now there isn’t anyone around except a group of men that you ignore. They must be the new neighbors.

(God, your embarrassment will know no bound after this.)

“You fucking four bastards! Once I catch you- ugh!” You shout, aiming it at those little monsters that remain living rent-free in your house as you run fast after them. But-

Oh no. Oh noooo. The four men, the new neighbors, turn around at your shout; likely assuming you meant it at them. Only to have your bunnies barrel through and between their legs.

After this, once you get those brats back, you will have to join them in finding a burrow to hide in your garden. That’s the only solution.

God must be smiling down at you, though; God must be satisfied by the regular entertainment you provide, because the men catch the bunnies. All four men catch all your four bunnies. It’s almost hilarious seeing your mini-lop in the hands of the big(gest) dude with the surgical mask. The tiny bastard doesn’t even seem mildly bothered, just nosing around the man’s chin and mask. Your two holland hops are in the hands of a very pretty man- wow, what eyelash serum does he use?- and a man who is wearing a boonie hat. Your flemish giant chills in the hands of the one with the mohawk.

You slow down as you jog towards them, trying to catch your breath. The amusement and confusion on their faces would’ve almost been comical if you weren’t so embarrassed.

“Oh- oh my god, I’m so, so sorry-” You begin, cheeks pink. Fuck, you weren’t even anything that appropriate either; jean shorts and a rather thin top. “I’m sooo sorry, jesus christ. They- they usually don’t bother other people when they do this-“

“They do this often?” Boonie hat man raises an eyebrow, chuckling.

You nod, glaring down at the bunny who just… stares right back at you. Little beast. Evil little beast that enjoys your suffering. “Yeah… they get a certain joy out of my suffering. Once again, I’m so sorry-“

“Easy there, lass,” mohawk man grins at you, as does pretty man. You can’t tell what exoression their fourth might have on his face. Your flemish giant begins cleaning her face, unbothered. “They dinnae hurt noone… though maybe just yer lungs.”

As you gather your breath, still cradling your wayward bunnies, you glance up at the group of men and realize you haven’t even introduced yourself yet. Great. Chasing rabbits down the street and forgetting your manners? You’re on a roll today.

“I’m—uh, I’m sorry, where are my manners? I’m [Name].” You gesture awkwardly toward your bunnies, still snuggled up in their rescuers’ arms. “And these are… my little troublemakers.”

The man with the boonie hat offers you a warm grin, extending his hand. “John Price. Looks like we’re neighbors now, love.”

You take his hand, appreciating the solid, firm shake and give him a smile. “Nice to meet you, John. And thanks again.”

The man with the mask remains silent but inclines his head, giving the tiniest of nods. He’s still holding your mini-lop, who’s completely unbothered, nosing at his mask like it’s a toy. “Simon.” he says in a low, gravelly voice.

His voice sends a tiny shiver down your spine. There’s something about his calm presence, even with your rebellious bunny in his grasp, that feels oddly reassuring. If anything, seeing your bunny si relaxed makes you far more willing to trust him. “Thanks, Simon. I appreciate it.”

The man with the mohawk steps forward, his grin as cheeky as ever. “Johnny MacTavish.” His Scottish accent rolls smoothly, and you can’t help but smile back. “Looks like yer big girl here likes me, huh?” He scratches behind your flemish giant’s ear, who responds by nudging into his hand.

You laugh. “Yeah, she’s usually shy, but I guess you’ve won her over.”

The last man, who had been standing back slightly, steps forward, still gently cradling one of your holland lops in his arms. “Kyle Garrick.” he says softly, his eyes flicking between you and the bunny. “They’re cute little things, aren’t they?”

You nod, heart warming a little. “Yeah, they are. And… a handful.”

For a brief moment, there’s a quiet, comfortable silence. You close your eyes and take in a deep, calming breath, not noticing the way all of them seem oddly focused on you—not in a bad way, but more like they’re genuinely interested.

“How do you take them back then?” John asks at last, breaking the silence. He’s almost absent-mindedly patting your bunny’s head.

“Well, I usually try to coax them with treats,” you say, opening your eyes to glance down at your bunnies. “but it seems like they’ve chosen chaos today, so no treats for them. I’ll just herd them back.” You shoot the bunnies a mock glare, earning a soft chuckle from Price.

“Seems like they’ve got a bit of personality,” Simon comments, his voice low. “Must’ve gotten that from you, yeah?”

You blink, caught off guard by his subtle tease. Was that a compliment? From him? You laugh softly, your cheeks warming under his intense gaze. “Well, they’re stubborn, that’s for sure.”

Kyle, steps forward and holds the bunny out to you. “Here, love. Looks like he’s had his fun. Don’t worry, no harm done.”

You take the bunny from him, your fingers brushing his as you do. “Thanks,” you murmur, feeling a bit flustered by the warmth of his touch. “I was about ten seconds away from having a meltdown.”

Johnny leans forward, his grin widening even as he hands over your flemish giant. One by one, you get back all your bunnies. “Aye, ye seemed like ye were in a bit of a panic. But nae need to be embarrassed, lass. We’ve all got our little burdens.”

Your eyes dart to his, catching a mischievous twinkle there. He’s definitely enjoying this a little too much.

You sigh dramatically, still cradling your mischievous bunnies. You set them down, and like the most obedient angels ever, they just hop and wait around your feet. “They’re more than burdens, they’re the bane of my existence sometimes. But I love them.”

Price chuckles, arms crossed over his broad chest. “It’s good you care about them that much. Not everyone would go to such lengths for their pets.”

You smile sheepishly. “Yeah, well… they’re my kids, basically. Little fluffy nightmares, but I love them.” You glance up at the group, unable to hide your appreciation for their help. “I seriously owe you guys. Maybe a drink sometime? Or dinner? As a proper thank you and welcome, of course.”

Simon shifts slightly, eyes still on you, though his face remains unreadable behind the mask. Johnny shoots him a look, then turns back to you with a grin. “Would nae wanna bother ye, lass-“

You blink, quickly shaking your head. “Oh, no, it won’t be a bother at all! I mean, it’s the least I can do after… all of this.” You gesture vaguely at the situation. Your mini-lop flops down near Simon, likely expecting pats.

Johnny’s grin deepens, and he exchanges a look with Price. “We’ll hold ye to that, lass. What day works for ye?”

You laugh nervously, cheeks still warm. “I’ll… I’ll figure something out and let you know.”

Kyle gives you a soft, reassuring smile. “We’ll be looking forward to it. And don’t worry, we’ll keep an eye out for any runaway bunnies in the meantime.”

As the men begin to head back to their place, Johnny calls out over his shoulder, “Remember- dinner, lass! No backing out!”

You roll your eyes with a playful smile but can’t help feeling flustered as you watch them go, and then laugh a little when Simon smacks the back of Johnny’s head, your heart beating a little faster. When they’re out of sight, you glance down at your bunnies.

“Thanks for the assist, you little terrors,” you mutter, shaking your head. “Now I owe them dinner. Perfect.”

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

Part 2

Masterpost + interactions, comments, reblogs and everything in between is very much encouraged 🫶🏻

[cherryxhaze]

Indulgence of the Flesh

Remmick x Fem Reader

Summary: In your darkest hour, a figure approaches as a glimmer of hope. He is no man, but a creature, a monster, with pretty promises on his lips. Promises that do not prepare you for the pleasures of the flesh he will bestow upon you. WC: ~9.1k Tags: MDNI! 18+, plus size reader, no use of y/n, manipulation, depression, stalking, brief mention of insecurities, smut, vampire sex (claws, fangs, and all), unprotected p in v, multiple rounds, multiple orgasms, remmick is a switch, sub and dom remmick, squirting, cunnilingus, premature ejaculation, breeding, praise kink, possessiveness, spit/drool kink, blood drinking, and anal play (fem receiving). Notes: Please keep your kitties indoors! This is my first Remmick fic and the longest smut I've ever written. Enjoy! Shout-out to @eternalstrigoii @spikedfearn @madkingcrowley @confetti-cakemix for their help with inspiration and ideas. gif credit to @stray-cat-with-internet-access AO3 Link

You step out into the night and onto your front porch, bare feet padding along the worn wooden planks. A slight and welcomed breeze caresses your freshly clean skin, sweat and dirt from a long day of work forgotten down the drain of your shower. You wish the stream of water could’ve rid you of more than just the consequences of living in the Mississippi Delta. With each step you take toward the old porch swing that’s been a permanent fixture throughout your life, you feel the heavy tightness in your chest, the exhaustive haze clouding your mind.

You sigh deeply and close your tired eyes as you sit on the swing, the wood creaking in protest. You’re sure one day it’ll break, catch you off guard and give out under your weight, but thankfully it’s not another thing to add to your list of misfortunes for today. You stretch your legs across the bench of the swing, propping your elbow onto the back to hold up your weary head. With your eyes closed, you try to focus your senses on the late summer night around you. The constant hum of the cicadas mating calls fill your ears, mixing with the familiar symphony of chirping crickets. You feel the warm breeze brush against the bare skin left uncovered by the thin linen nightgown adorning your body. Even then, the nature around you does little to keep your mind from drifting, returning to the events of the day and the feelings that have burrowed themselves and made a home in your chest. 

You feel utterly and truly alone.

It seems like life is constantly reminding you of it. The home and farm you’ve lived your whole life, once filled with life but now only contains memories of your loved ones that are long gone. A home once filled with a vibrant albeit sometimes chaotic family, now only houses a young woman, struggling to find her way in a world that seems to stack the odds against her favor.

As if on cue, you hear a gentle merp from your side, beckoning you to open your tired eyes to see the black ball of fur that is your companion, Jack.

“C’mere, boy.” You coax the feline with a small smile and a pat on your thighs, to which he eagerly obliges, already purring as he jumps onto your lap. He rubs his face and entire body against your belly and chest, marking you with his scent and seeking affection. You gather him into your arms and hold him close, inhaling his familiar scent. The feeling of his warm fur and purrs vibrating throughout his body and into yours provides you with a little bit of the comfort you seek.

“It’s been such a hard day, boy.” You murmur into his fur, your voice cracking along with your walls that struggle to hold back the emotions stewing inside. Your nails gently scratch his head as you close your eyes, feeling them begin to burn with rapidly rising tears. You’re too tired to hold them back, deciding to let them fill your waterline before streaking down your round cheeks and into Jack’s fur, though he doesn’t seem to mind it.

You let yourself sit in it. Tears flowing, mind freely drifting to the small heartaches of the day that built up to become too unbearable. Hateful hearts held behind judgemental gazes, grueling work under an oppressive heat, and a new girl on the arm of a man you thought you’d have it all with. A deep, shaky inhale flows into your lungs, nose sniffling as you gulp in an attempt to swallow some of the emotions down your throat.

“Excuse me, Miss?” Your wet eyes fly open, head shooting up from where it’d been buried in Jack’s fur at the sudden sound of a masculine voice holding a southern twang. The moonlight shines against his back, outlining the strange man’s figure. 

“Ya alright?” His tone is gentle, carrying the undeniable twinge of concern. You sniffle and clear your throat as your eyes take in his figure, fixed on the edge of your front yard and taking cautious steps closer. He wears dark trousers held up by suspenders, fashioned over a clean light blue button up shirt, the top left unbuttoned where you can barely make out the glimmer of a small chain hanging over his chest.

“I’m fine.” You assert, despite the words croaking slightly from your dry throat. You straighten your spine as you watch him skeptically. “Who are you, exactly?” You challenge with narrowed eyes, mentally questioning how quickly you could run into the house and grab the stashed away shotgun if needed. It isn’t often people randomly roam along this gravel road at night, let alone knowing what intentions the ones that do may carry.

“Aw I’m sorry, Darlin’. Where are my manners? I’m Remmick.” The words drip from his tongue like molasses, slow, heavy, and warm. You watch as he raises his hands placatingly, palms facing you. He’s close enough now for the porch light to cast a faint, warm glow over him. Dark strands of hair hang over his forehead, curling at the ends. With a better view of him, you notice he’s quite handsome.

Suddenly, Jack jumps off your lap with a high-pitched, inquisitive meow, scurrying across the porch, down the steps and right to Remmick’s feet. Your lips part, eyebrows shooting up in surprise as you watch your skittish cat rub against the stranger’s legs, meowing and gazing up at him. The very same cat that runs and hides on the rare occasion new people come around.

Remmick looks down at the cat, shadows of the night hiding the smirk on his lips as he watches Jack sniff him, searching for the familiar scent of fish.  No doubt expecting his recurring treat Remmick has been sneaking to him in the dead of night to gain his trust, and eventually yours when he finally decided to make his move on you. 

No fish tonight, boy. Remmick chuckles softly to himself as he bends down to pet the feline on his head. Jack accepts the pets with each, but once he realizes that Remmick has arrived tonight empty handed, he turns away and prances off into the dark. Remmick straightens back up and when his eyes fall to you and take in your surprised expression, a prideful satisfaction fills him. Numerous nights while you slept, he spent gathering small fish, coaxing Jack to come closer and closer until he readily ran up to him, and it paid off. Your shoulders are less tense, your gaze isn’t so harsh, and just as predicted, your defenses have lowered. He’s sure his charms can handle the rest.

Your eyes follow Jack until his body disappears into the dark of the night, then settles back onto the strange but handsome man who seems to be the only person to make an instantaneous friendship with your wary feline. Remmick’s hands have moved to settle in his pockets, his eyes and smile soft and warm as he looks up at you.

“Do ya always wander around in the dark and startle people, Remmick?” You question him with the faintest hint of humor lacing your words, cocking an eyebrow as you cross your arms over your stomach.

“Well that certainly wasn’t my intention, miss. You see, I just moved to the area, down the road a ways. And well, I like walkin’, and I like the night. ‘S quiet, peaceful.” He explains with ease, slowly stepping closer and closer to the porch where you sit. “Just happened to be passin’ by when I noticed ya. You seemed upset… Sure you’re alright, darlin’?” He asks again, concern etched across his face as he leans against the stair railing of your porch.

You can’t recall seeing or hearing about any of your distant neighbors moving, but then again you tend to keep to yourself anyway. Surely you’d just missed any news of a new person in town. You find your body relaxing a bit, easing back against the swing as everything about him seems to disarm you. You shake your head, sharply exhaling through your nostrils, the trails of tears on your cheeks already dried.

“I’m fine. Nothin’ I’d want to burden a stranger with anyway.”

“Well considerin’ we’ve already introduced ourselves, technically speakin’ we’re not quite strangers anymore, are we?” He flashes you a warm and charming smile, noticing the way you’ve already relaxed to his presence so quickly. “Besides, who better to talk to ‘bout yer problems than someone uninvolved, yeah?”

He cocks his head to the side, tempting you to let him in. To divulge your pain and worries to this handsome man you barely know that stumbled onto your property in your time of despair. A brief silence hangs between you as you contemplate the repercussions of such, eyeing him standing at the bottom of the porch steps as his own gaze at you with nothing but tenderness. It’s been a long time since anyone looked at you like that, let alone offered to do something as selfless as listen to your problems.

“May I?” He nods toward the space on the swing that your legs currently occupy, requesting to join you.

You briefly consider him before sighing, wordlessly moving your legs to free a spot for him. He smiles and ascends the porch, his movements confident and at ease as he approaches and sits next to you, making the swing sway back slightly. His arm stretches out to rest along the back of the bench, fingers mere inches from the bare skin of your shoulder. Every nerve ending in your body stands at attention with him now so close, in your space. His scent invades your nostrils, earthy with the faintest hint of cologne that’s faded throughout the day.

“Now, what’s got you so upset, darlin’?” His voice is low and honeyed, you can practically feel it reverberate through his chest and into yours. You shift and let your eyes flutter down to your lap, unsure of how to handle the sudden intensity of his undivided attention. You ponder just how much you should say. While part of you is begging to unburden yourself and release the pent up despair inside of you, the other is wary of revealing too much to a stranger, formality of introductions aside.

“A collection of things over time, really. Buildin’ up. Today was just the cherry on top, I suppose.” You finally answer, glancing back up to catch the way his brows furrow and head leans closer, waiting for more.

More of everything. Of you. Not just the heartaches that plague your mind. Your essence, your joys and sorrows, your pleasure and pain, your soul and entire being. There’s only so much he can learn from observing you these last few weeks. He wants it all. His fingers twitch with resistance, lingering so close to your exposed skin that he’d barely have to move an inch to touch you. To finally be so close to you, within grasp, has his whole body buzzing and coiled tight. He can’t, he won’t squander it.

“I saw my, uh…” You pause, taking a deep inhale as you search for the right words to say. He certainly wasn’t a boyfriend, no, his intentions were far too shallow and brief for such a title. “My ex-lover today. Out around town, with a new girl on his arm.” Prettier. Skinnier. Wealthier. In public. You leave the rest unspoken, the comparisons you’ve made on impulse.

You can’t help but shake your head at yourself, feeling silly for letting a man so unworthy hold power over you. But ever since you saw the new couple together, images from that night a few months ago pass through your head. The private flirtations that led to a meager, unsatisfactory act of sex. The other side of your bed left empty the next morning. The cold shoulder, diverted glances, and radio silence ever since. The unfulfilled promises of something more, of love, of family, of belonging.

“It’s not that I love him or miss him for that matter, it’s just…” Your voice trails off, gaze cast out into the expansive dark openness of the fields around your home, the occasional flicker of a warm yellow glow from lightning bugs catching your eye. It’s a welcomed sight filled with a nostalgic comfort that reminds you of childhood, but does little to dispel the heaviness that’s settled in your chest. 

“Wonderin’ why you weren’t good enough? If you’ll ever have what your heart desires?” He sucks his teeth, shaking his head with a sigh. “That’s a real hurtin’ feeling, darlin’. Yeah…” Your gaze immediately snaps back to his, caught off guard by how truly and easily his words speak to your pain.

“A feelin’ a beautiful woman like you shouldn’t have to hold.” 

“You’re too kind.” You exhale a dismissive scoff, even as the corners of your lips curve up into a smile. He’s merely being kind, chivalrous, responding in the way anyone who’d want to make a good impression would.

But he doesn’t brush it off and move on, he pushes further.

“Naw. I mean it, sugar. You’re beautiful. Ain’t your fault he couldn’t appreciate what was right in front of ‘im.” His voice holds no humor, his eyes intense and serious. You could almost swear there’s a flicker of longing in their dark depths, but you dismiss that too. 

“But I can. I can save you from this pain in your heart, your mind.” He shifts, his upper body leaning closer toward you. 

You go still, surprised by his forwardness and the implications of his words, his body and touch drawing nearer. Your brows furrow, scrunching together in skepticism before a short chuckle slips past your lips.

“Is that so? And how exactly do you plan to do that?”

“I can give you what you need. Everything you’ve ever wanted. Acceptance, Love, Fellowship… A family.”

You’re sure you must be dreaming or at the least your sanity has finally cracked. A man you met no more than 10 minutes ago offering you all of your heart’s desires. There’s a little voice in the back of your head telling you that something is off, that this isn’t normal. Danger is creeping in like a dark fog, spreading tendrils reaching out to grasp and pull you in. His presence and words are captivating, damn near intoxicating, and you find yourself caught between needing to run away and lean into him.

“You don’t even know me.” Is all you can muster saying. Pointing out the obvious, glaring flaw to such a proclamation as outlandish as his.

“Oh, but I do. You were callin’ out to me, lurin’ me here. Your soul singin’ a sad, yearnin’ song I know too well. See, I’ve been watchin’ you…” He can’t hold himself back any longer and closes the scant distance between his hand and your body, his thumb brushing over the bare skin of your shoulder and working up toward your neck with a slow, teasing caress. Your breath catches in your throat, his touch awakening every nerve with a warm tingle that cascades down your body.

“I know you better than he ever did,” He spits the word out as if it burns his tongue, flames of jealousy blazing at the thought of another man touching you, let alone not appreciating the gift of it. “better than anyone in this town does.”

“I…I don’t even know you.” Your voice grows less confident and weaker with your resolve as his pull becomes stronger. You wet your lips, gulping down your dry throat, chest rising and falling with each breath that comes heavier.

“We are the same, darlin’. In here.” He lifts his other hand, placing his palm gently over your heart. He feels it pound against his palm, chipping away at his rapidly declining control over himself. “And when we merge as one and come together, you’ll know everything there is to know about me. But for now…” 

His eyes follow the movement of his fingers, trailing from over your heart to the middle of your chest, sliding down the exposed skin of your sternum. He watches with satisfaction as goosebumps rise along your skin in the trail of his touch, the way your breaths hitch and quicken. “I’m from another place and another time. Everything I’ve done, everywhere I’ve been, it’s led me here… to you.”

His hand falls to your knee, creeping up the bare skin of your thick thighs left uncovered by your nightgown. Finally feeling your warm, plush flesh beneath his hand hits him like a wave, his eyes momentarily fluttering shut with a choked, muffled groan. You feel his soft grip, his fingers growing longer around your flesh as he loses his last bit of restraint, nails like claws subtly digging into your skin. When he opens his eyes to meet yours, they’re no longer dark from the shadows of the night, but glowing red.

You suck in a breath that catches in your throat at the sight of his mask finally slipping. He is no man, but a creature of some sort. A creature that’s looking at you as if it wants to devour you and savor every bite. 

And you just might let him.

“What do ya say, sugar? You gon’ let me make ya mine?” You spot the sharp ends of fangs peek out from behind his lips as he murmurs the question, drool slipping past them and down his chin. His fingers squeeze into the meat of your thigh, massaging the flesh and slowly creeping higher. The unmistakable feeling of arousal courses through your body, pulsing between your thighs that you can’t stop yourself from parting slightly.

That little voice in the back of your head warning you of danger begins to fade until it’s completely snuffed out, overtaken by longing and desire. Maybe if you weren’t so tired, if you weren’t so lonely and teetering on the edge of hopelessness, you’d have the right mind to listen to that voice. To be frightened and run into the safety of your home screaming. To feel shame for the way your body is responding to him. To see this as a trap, as a serpent tempting you with forbidden fruit. 

But you’re just reckless enough not to care, and he knows it. After all, what do you have left to lose… except your soul.

Your eyes lock onto the drool dripping down his chin and your own mouth salivates at the sight. You don’t answer him with words, but with your body as you lean closer toward him to close the distance. He closes his eyes expecting for his lips to meet yours, only to press against your cheek. Your tongue darts out, slowly dragging up his chin to the corner of his mouth, collecting the drool on your tongue and swallowing it deep.

You feel a shudder run through his body, a rumbling groan that almost sounds like a whimper escaping his parted lips. He turns his head toward you, red eyes smoldering with unbridled desire. A beat passes before his hand moves from your shoulder to thread his claws into your hair at the base of your skull and his lips crash against yours in a hungry, demanding kiss. His mouth muffles your soft gasp, but you return the kiss with equal desire. Your hands reach out and grasp onto him, fisting the fabric of his shirt and holding onto his neck.

He hitches your leg over his, spreading your thighs wide as his tongue parts your lips, delving in to explore the depths of your mouth. Your moans as your tongue meets his pushes him farther, hand sliding higher up your high to feel the heat radiating off your core. Your tongues lick and lap at each other, swirling around in feverish, filthy dance. Your hips buck with a whimper when his hand slides beneath your gown to cup your bare, wet heat. A growl rumbles in his chest, a single digit gliding through and parting your wet folds before settling on your clit.

“So wet for me already, baby.” He rasps against your lips with the subtlest hint of condescension in his tone, but it only makes your pussy throb and clench, squeezing around nothing and aching to be filled. The rough pad of his finger begins to circle your clit slowly, working you up even more with every pass over the sensitive nub.

He revels in the way your body responds to him so eagerly, the way your hips chase his touch, coaxing him to press harder and move faster, the way your pussy grows slicker with each passing second, coating his claws in your arousal. His mouth eagerly swallows every moan and whimper his touch pulls from you, every pretty, wrecked sound making his cock grow harder and strain against his pants. 

Remmick pulls his lips from yours, needing to taste and explore more of you, needing to hear your moans unstifled from his mouth. Your name escapes his lips like a desperate prayer as his lips move along your jawline, pressing a trail of open mouthed kisses toward the tender skin of your neck.

His tongue slips out to lick a long stripe from the base of your neck to your ear that sends a shiver down your spine, making it arch and pressing your chest harder against his. Your body trembles against him, head swimming with the pleasure of his mouth and fingers working you with ease. 

“Invite me inside, darlin’. Need to worship you proper.” His voice is utterly wrecked and desperate as he practically begs for entry, his breath fanning against your neck with heavy pants. He could take you right here and now on the porch, but he wants to do this right. To worship every inch of you, to pull every bit of pleasure he can from your body in the comfort of your bed. That, and he needs to hear you verbalize what your body is already telling him, that you need him.

You nod eagerly without hesitation, your ears barely registering the creaking protests of the worn wooden swing with every grind of your pussy against his fingers. Surely it wouldn’t survive if things moved farther.

“Yes, Remmick. Come inside.” Your voice is a wavering, pathetic plea, but you’re already too far gone to care. 

He wastes no time in scooping you into his arms and rising to his feet, encouraging your legs to wrap around his waist. You gasp at the ease and speed at which he lifts and carries you with an unexpected strength, sending a thrill through you. His shoes thump along the wooden planks of the porch, swinging the screen door open to freely step inside your home and hearing it slam shut behind you. All the while his mouth never leaves your neck, kissing and sucking, marking the sensitive skin as his. His sharp teeth grazes you almost teasingly, but never digs in hard enough to break skin. Not yet.

Remmick moves throughout your home, following the path to the bedroom as if he’s done it numerous times before. He knows where it is, he’s spent enough nights peering through your window to admire your sleeping form, fantasizing about all the things he’s about to do to you. Remmick lets your bodies fall onto the bed, his own pinning yours down against the sheets as his mouth finds yours again, lips and tongues clashing in a sloppy, wet kiss fueled by uninhibited desire.

You can feel the hard outline of his cock pressed firmly against your core, rocking your hips to seek friction, rubbing your slick folds against his straining bulge. His hands work their way up your thighs, claws catching on your gown as they glide over your curves. His touch is reverent, savoring the feeling of you beneath him and memorizing every inch.

He pulls away from your lips with a groan, chest heaving with ragged breaths as he sits up and takes a moment to admire your disheveled state beneath him. Warm and flushed skin, kiss swollen lips, the marks that are already forming on your neck, the outline of your hard nipples. His eyes rake down your body, hands caressing your thighs before grabbing onto the hem of your gown.

“Gotta taste you, sugar.” His voice is husky and strained through heavy breaths, red eyes locked onto your core as he pushes your dress up. The sight of your soaked folds draws a choked moan from his throat, tongue darting out to lick his lips, more drool pooling in his mouth. His hands continue to push your gown up, revealing more and more of your skin. Just as the fabric begins to push over the soft swell of your belly, a wave of shyness crashes over you and your hands grab onto his, stalling his movements.

“Wait-” You blurt out breathlessly, a confusing mix of nervousness and arousal coursing through you. Past experiences and hurt from others come to the forefront of your mind, clouding your judgement even farther. Assuming this man, creature, whatever he is- that has pursued you so diligently could be dismayed by your bare body.

“Naw, baby…” He shakes his head side to side as his eyes flash up to yours, his gaze intense and eyes glowing in the full moonlight shining into the bedroom. “Don’t hide from me.” 

He looks back down to where your hands have stilled his over your hips and pushes past them, continuing to expose more and more of your naked form. You watch, captivated as his body sinks between your parted legs, stretching out across the length of the bed. His eyes flutter closed and his lips follow the path of his hands, kissing and licking your newly exposed skin.

“You’re a goddess…” His voice rumbles, muffled by your flesh as he kisses the stretch marks etched onto your stomach. You let out a sharp, shuddering exhale, overwhelmed by such attention and praise toward your ‘flaws’. His tongue drags along your sternum, your nipples perking as he exposes them to the light breeze filtering through the open window. His eyes flutter open to meet yours, half-lidded, “Told you I was gon’ worship ya, and I meant it.”

His mouth latches onto one of your nipples with a nearly pathetic, whimpering exhale, tongue lapping at the hard nub as he suckles onto it. The stimulation makes your back arch off the bed, gasping “Ohhh!” as your fingers thread into his hair. He lavishes your nipples with attention, flicking his tongue, swirling it around and sucking hard, sending sparks of pleasure through your body and down to your pussy, making your clit throb with need. You force your eyes open to look down and watch as he feasts on your flesh, the sight alone almost as arousing as the physical pleasure he’s bringing you.

Remmick’s glowing red eyes flicker open to lock onto yours and he bares his mouth full of sharp, jagged teeth. You gasp, grip tightening on his hair as his teeth close in around your pebbled nipple, biting just gently enough to tease you. You should be repulsed and frightened by the sight, but you only feel a sick thrill from the sight and your folds grow slicker. A low chuckle rumbles from his throat at your reaction, taking joy in the effect he has on you before he soothes the sting with his tongue and moves to give the same attention to your other breast. 

“Feels so good!” You whimper as a shudder runs through your body, thick thighs tightening around his hips. The sweet sounds he’s pulling from you chips away at his patience, making him needier for more. He pulls away from your breast with a wet pop and a grunt. His saliva covers your nipples, making them harden as the night air turns cool against the sensitive skin.

He begins to descend down your body with a trail of open mouthed kisses, hurried and desperate until his face hovers above your core. One claw slides up the back of your thigh, hooking around the back of your knee and pushing it back toward the bed. A thick rope of drool slips past his bottom lip as he watches your soaking wet folds part for him, the needy way your entrance clenches around nothing and he sees you’re just as desperate for him.

“So wet and ready for me… so perfect.” He rasps, low and ragged before he dives in, his tongue flat as it slowly licks up through your pussy, collecting your essence on his tongue.

“Fuck!” You gasp softly, back arching with a flick of his tongue against your clit. His tongue curls, diving into your fluttering hole. He’s messy and hungry, burying his face into your cunt like a man on a mission, lapping up every drop of your juices.

You expect him to just give you a few chaste licks before moving on and shoving himself inside you, but it’s clear he’s not going anywhere just yet. His arms slide under your legs and clasp over your stomach, holding you against the mattress as he eats your pussy like a starving man digging into a full feast laid out before him.

“Oh… this is the closest I’ll ever be to the gods. Right here between your thighs, darlin’.” He murmurs against you, guttural and strained. His tongue moves from your entrance to focus on your sensitive clit, alternating between circling and flicking his tongue against it. He watches the way you react, the way your thick thighs begin to close in around his head, the way your hips jerk when he sucks the bud between his lips.

“Remmick… fuck, yes!” You cry out as his cheeks hollow with a hard suck, your thighs trembling, toes curling, and fingers tightening their grip on his hair. The sounds of his slurping and suckling meet your ears as the spikes of ecstasy radiate throughout your body. You never knew a man’s mouth could feel this good, could fill you with so much bliss that you can’t focus on anything else but him, devouring you as if he knows your pussy better than you do.

Your hips rock against his mouth as he sucks and licks, chasing the rapidly building pleasure in your core. Remmick’s hands slide up your stomach to find your breasts, long claws tweaking and tugging your nipples, sending another wave of pleasure through your body. 

“Oh god.- ’m gonna cum!” You whine as you feel yourself barreling toward the edge, your breaths coming in short and fast. You’re a writhing mess beneath him as he rocks his own hips to seek friction, grinding his clothed erection against the mattress, precum staining his pants. He only answers you with a groan that vibrates through your core, too focused on sending you to your climax to even dare speak. 

Your body begins to tighten and tense, your grip on his hair stinging as you reach your climax before it crashes over you like a tidal wave. A string of high-pitched moans fall from your parted lips, your limbs shaking as ecstasy courses through you, your hips stuttering and jerking against his mouth that doesn’t let up in its assault on your tender clit. He moans against you, watching as you come undone because of him with a deep satisfaction. Your juices begin to soak his chin and as your body starts to relax from the intense climax, his tongue slides down to lap it up eagerly like a reward, like melting soft serve dripping down an ice cream cone.

“You… are… perfect.” He declares through a hoarse and strained voice, drunk off your essence and body, but the look in his glowing eyes and the way he sits up to rip off his clothes tells you he’s nowhere near satiated. 

Your half-lidded eyes follow his movements, the suspenders falling from his shoulders, the claws that rip open his shirt, buttons carelessly flying across the wooden floor, his belt quickly following. You try to keep up, pulling your gown that’s bunched up near your neck over your head and discarded onto the floor before he is back on you.

Remmick’s mouth crashes onto yours, tongue delving in and forcing you to taste yourself from him, and god does it turn you on. The waning bliss from your orgasm rekindles into arousal, still yearning for more of him, all that he’ll give you, more of the same pleasure no other man has been able to draw from your willing body.

He pushes his pants down past his hips, kicking them off before his arms slide underneath you, hands wrapping around your waist. Without parting from your lips, he hoists you into the air and flips you over with a speed that knocks the air from your lungs. When your mind catches up, you realize you’ve switched places and recognize the feeling of his bare cock nestled between your folds. A shiver of anticipation travels down your spine, coaxing your hips to rock back and forth.

A breathy gasp slips past your lips as his tip rubs against your clit, still sensitive from your orgasm. Your hands fall to Remmick’s chest to support yourself as his rub up and down your sides, kneading the supple flesh along your thighs, hips and ass. His sharp teeth dig into his bottom lip, eyes locked on the way his cock slides through your slick lips.

“Go on and ride me, sugar. Want you to take it all out on me.” The glowing red orbs finally meet yours as his hands settle on your hips, grip tightening slightly and long nails digging into the meat of your ass. He doesn’t need to elaborate or explain, you understand instantly and it makes your heart flutter in your chest. All the pain and sorrow that’s plagued your days, he wants to be your method of release and freedom from it all. “Take what you need from me.” He adds on breathily, nodding in encouragement as his own hips rock up against you, leaking tip nudging against your sore bundle of nerves again.

You move one of your hands from his chest, sliding down his body to wrap around his cock, slick with your juices and his pre-cum. He’s thick and girthy, long enough to kiss your cervix when it’s buried deep and your pussy clenches in anticipation. You lift your hips off his enough to stand his cock up below you and line his tip with your entrance.

You inhale sharply, eyes closing and mouth falling open as you slowly sink down onto him, his swollen tip breaching your entrance. He grits his sharp teeth, sucking in a shaky breath through them. His head falls back against the pillow and a long, drawn out groan lifts from his throat as you sink further down onto him, inch by painstaking inch. He feels your warm, wet walls fluttering and squeezing around his thick girth and it takes everything in him not to thrust up and fully sheath himself inside you.

But you’re soaking up every second of it, giving your cunt the time to adjust and take him in. Your walls throb with a delicious ache as they stretch around him, accommodating his size. It makes you feel like it’s your first time all over again, but so so much better.

“So big-” you whimper breathlessly, hands gripping onto his chest.

“That’s it. Take it all, baby.” His raspy praise hits your ears like smooth honey as you fully seat yourself on him, hips flush against each other and his cock buried deep.

You take a moment to adjust to the feeling of him stretching you so full before you begin to rock your hips back and forth, grinding on his cock.

“Oh… Oohhh, yes!” You cry out softly, letting your head fall back. Your hips move on their own accord, chasing the building pleasure in your core. His hands remain on your hips, guiding you as you ride him, the patch of hair at the base rubbing deliciously against your clit.

Remmick struggles to keep his eyes open as you lose yourself, but he fights the urge to close them completely. The sight of you on top of him, filthy sounds falling from your open mouth, tits bouncing with each roll of your hips, lost in bliss from his cock, is far too good to miss.

“Shit, look at you. That’s my girl.” He pants, watching you with a mix of awe and hunger. His fingers dig into the fat of your ass, sharp teeth digging into his bottom lip as he rocks his own hips up to meet the roll of yours- urging more pretty moans to fall from your lips, losing himself in the feel of your gummy walls wrapped around him so tight.

His praise only encourages your movements, rolling and rocking your hips harder and faster. The bed begins to squeak beneath you, nails gently digging into the flesh of his chest. In the chase of your high, you shift off of your knees and to your feet in a squat, earning a strangled groan from Remmick. The change makes your walls grip him even tighter, and eases your movements as you begin to bounce on his shaft.

Your palms are flat against his chest to support yourself, breasts bouncing, and your ass smacking against his heavy balls. The feeling of his cock gliding through your walls is heavenly, knocking the air from your lungs with each thrust.

“Fuuuuck… love the way you ride me, baby.” Remmick groans deeply, his southern accent faltering slightly to introduce an unfamiliar melodic tilt, his native Irish brogue breaking though as he succumbs to the overwhelming pleasure of your body. His thick neck flexes as his head falls back against the pillow, lips parting to release short pants and moans, sharp teeth glimmering in the moonlight.

He’s losing his grip on himself, pleasure rapidly building in his balls with each bounce. You just feel too goddamn good, making him feel the best he’s felt in centuries.

So soft. So warm. So wet. So tight.

“Shit. Stop, sugar…Stop.” He mutters through clenching teeth, the sound nearly pathetic. His grip tightens almost painfully on your hips, stilling your movements.

Your heart drops as a wave of insecurity flashes through your mind. Were you not doing a good job? Did you do something wrong? That is until you look down at him and his tense state. The veins in his neck protrude and pulse, shaky deep inhales through his nostrils. With pleasure still buzzing inside you, your walls squeeze around him unintentionally, drawing a rough whimper from his throat.

“Don’t do that.” He begs with a rasp, low and breathy, his grip tightening even more as if he could stop the sensation. A slow grin begins to spread across your lips and you squeeze around him again, soaking up his reaction. His eyes squeeze shut tighter and a short grunt passes through his clenched teeth.

“Why not, baby? Don’t you like it?” Your voice is teasing, sickly sweet honey dripping over him. He growls in response, but it’s weak, not holding the threatening power it usually would. A thrill buzzes up your spine, power and confidence thrumming through your bones. To have such power over this man, this creature, for your pussy to reduce him to a pathetic mess begging not to bust too quickly. You could oblige him, give him a breather to collect himself to last a little longer, but where’s the fun in that?

You don’t hold back as you continue to squeeze him, warm and wet walls pulsing rhythmically around his thick girth like a heartbeat, your pussy trying to milk him for all he’s worth. He flinches and tenses, lips parting and mouth falling open with a strangled call of your name before a drawn out groan as he climaxes. You moan in return, feeling Remmick’s cum explode and fill you up, leaking out to mix with your own slick at the base of his cock.

You observe him with satisfaction as his climax flows through his body, the changes in his expression, the heaving of his chest, those beautiful sounds from his lips that make you pulse around him once more. Your teeth sink into the fat of your bottom lip in a futile attempt to stifle your wide, shit-eating grin, but as Remmick’s breathing evens out and his eyes slowly flutter open, he sees it. His brows furrow, claws digging into the flesh of your ass as something like determination builds in his chest.

“Think that’s funny, do ye?” He questions with a heavy exhale, Irish accent flowing through as his eyes squint, studying you.

“Not at all. I found it quite cute, actually.” You retort, giddy energy pulsing through your body as your hands caress over his bare chest reassuringly.

“Cute, aye?” He cocks an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side. You can’t help but giggle innocently in response, drawing a rumble from his throat. “Oh, you’re goin’ get it now.”

His threat sends a tingling shiver down your spine, turning into heat at the base that spreads through your core. He pulls a hand away from your ass before it lands back down onto the flesh with a resounding smack, a sting spreading across the tender skin. A choked moan bursts from your throat as the pain mingles with pleasure, his hand rubbing and soothing reddening skin.

He shifts, maneuvering your body with a dizzying speed and strength, pushing you off of him and onto the mattress on all fours. Behind you, both of Remmick’s hands grip the meat of your ass, kneading and groping the flesh as his still erect cock rests between your spread cheeks.

“Been thinkin’ ‘bout having you like this for a long time, darlin’. Bent over, this perfect ass in the air, achin’ for me.” Another resounding smack punctuates his words, making your body jerk before you push yourself back against him, willing and eager for all that he’ll give you. His eyes are fixed to the way your flesh jiggles with the smack, one hand continuing its caress while the other smooths up your spine, guiding you to arch into him.

Remmick’s hand leaves your ass to wrap around the base of his cock. He pulls back enough to see the way his cum drips from your cunt. His tip nudges your clit before slowly sliding through your folds, collecting his seed to stuff back into your pussy with a hard thrust. You exhale a high-pitched moan, your chest pressing down against the mattress and fingers curling to grip onto the sheets. Your pussy missed the full, stretched feeling of him in the short time of absence, gummy walls eagerly welcoming him back in with a warm grip.

His thrusts start slow and deep, tip nudging your cervix before he pulls out to push back in again. You feel his lips along your spine, pressing a trail of reverent kisses up your shoulder. His bare chest presses against your back, breath fanning over your ear, hand sliding to softly wrap around your throat in a possessive motion. His speed picks up and hips shift to angle his cock, hitting an undiscovered spot along your walls that makes you gasp and cry out, an intense pleasure blooming and radiating throughout your core.

“Oh god, yes!” A choked moan rises from your throat, eyes rolling to the back of your head, nails scratching against the cotton sheets.

“Yeah… Not so smug now are ye?” He taunts through heavy breaths, lips pressed against the shell of your ear. “Fuck, this pussy was made for my cock.”

Goosebumps spread all over your skin with his words, everything about him taking over your senses and making your head swim. His teasing yet praising words, his skin against yours, his southern twang mixing with an Irish brogue, his long thick cock plunging into your throbbing walls relentlessly.

One claw remains wrapped around your throat as Remmick leans back to get a better view of you. He moans at the sight of your ass jiggling and bouncing off his hips, the feeling of his heavy balls slapping against your wet folds. His eyes zero in on your puckered hole presented so eagerly to him. He bites his bottom lip as a grin spreads across them, sliding his free hand down your back until it rests on the jiggling flesh of your ass. His pad of his thumb brushes over the puckered, unused hole before pressing against it firmly, rubbing circles into it.

“Remmick!” The action earns a gasp and wrecked whimper from your lips, your pussy gripping him tight. You have a white knuckle grip on the sheets below you, the foreign sensations and newfound pleasures are almost too much to bear. 

Remmick groans at the feeling of you gripping him even tighter before letting out a low, amused chuckle. “Oh, you like that, don’t chu? Filthy girl.” He chastises teasingly, continuing to thrust against the spongy spot in your walls and prod your tight little asshole. 

“Oh fuck, yes! Yes!” A string of unrestrained and desperate cries of pleasure fall from your parted lips, tears beginning to prick the corners of your eyes. A symphony of filthy sounds fill the bedroom and your ears; your combined moans, the headboard repeatedly hitting the wall, the wet slapping of your flesh.

“Mmm, you gonna cum for me, baby? Give it to me.” Remmick demands, after already making you cum on his tongue he needs to feel you unravel on his cock like his lungs need air. 

The building pressure in your core erupts into an intense wave of pure ecstasy, hitting you like a freight train. A choked scream rises from your throat and your body tenses, jerking and trembling as you ride out your climax. Remmick watches as your pussy gushes around him, walls squeezing him with a vice grip and juices squirting against the base of his cock, dripping down his balls and onto the sheets below. He moans at the sight and feeling of you coming undone, reaching new heights of pleasure because of him. He swears he’s never seen anything more erotic or beautiful in his life.

Remmick releases his hold on your throat, letting your head fall and slump against the mattress. His hand soothes up and down your back as the last waves of your orgasm begin to fizzle out, leaving your body limp and panting heavily. “Good girl.” He praises with a soft whisper, earning a faint whimper from you. He slowly pulls his drenched cock from your pussy, marveling at the mess you’ve made. 

Gently, he grabs your hip and rolls you onto your back to face him. Your eyes are closed, a small blissful smile on your lips, and your chest rises and falls with each attempt to catch your breath. He leans over you from between your thighs, kissing along your jawline before his lips meet yours. You sigh happily, kissing him back slow and deep. It’s not rushed and full of hunger like earlier. Though a hunger still remains, this kiss feels more affectionate and sensual. Your fingers thread into his messy hair as your tongues swirl lazily.

Remmick presses a deep kiss against your lips before he pulls back, just enough to let his eyes soak in your features. “You look so beautiful like this… all drunk on my cock.”

Your soft giggle turns into a breathy sigh as his lips return to your skin, kissing along the other side of your jaw and down to your neck. He can feel the blood coursing through your veins, the pulsing of your heartbeat against his lips.

“But I ain’t done with ya yet.” His voice grows deeper, rumbling against your throat. His still hard and throbbing cock slides through your soaking folds, making your hips jerk slightly and reigniting the fire of desire in your core. “Think you can give me one more? Just one more, baby.”

You whimper softly in response. You know he’s not really asking, he’s telling you. Even if you don’t think you can, you don’t doubt he has the power to pull another earth-shattering orgasm from your cunt. He’s already done what no other man could, giving you more intense orgasms than you’ve even been able to give yourself. But he needs to hear you say it, needs to hear how wrecked he’s already made you and the desperation for more in your voice.

“Okay.” You nod weakly, gulping as you feel his tongue and teeth pressing against your neck. Your voice is soft and breathy, strained from the sounds he’s already pulled from you. “Yes. Please.” 

Remmick groans in approval, inhaling your scent and the ever so tempting allure of your blood with a shudder. His dick slides through your combined juices once more, soaking up your little gasps as he rubs against your bundle of nerves. He notches the tip at your entrance before sinking himself to the hilt with a deep groan. The way your body responds to him, opens up and welcomes him so eagerly, wraps around him so snuggly, he’s not sure he ever wants to leave the bliss of your touch.

“So good for me…” He purrs against your ear, thrusting with long and deep strokes. Your hands travel to his back, gripping onto the sweat slick skin as your walls flutter and tingle around him. Thick thighs wrapped around his hips, you hook your ankles together over his ass, encouraging him to go as deep as he can. You know you’ll always crave this, that you’ll never get enough of him stretching your walls to the brink, of fucking you so deep and hard you swear you can feel him in your guts.

“This pussy belongs to me.” Remmick rasps as he picks up the pace, pistoning into you harder and faster. “All mine.” His breath tickles your ear, his possessive words making your cunt squeeze around him in agreement.

“All yours.” You echo his sentiment with a moan, stating what you both already know to be true.

Your words align with what your body has already told him, spurring on his desire to feel you unravel beneath him once more. 

“Forever.”

A claw gently scratches down your chest and stomach to where your bodies are joined. The wet squelch of your cunt taking him over and over again is a filthy sound, making his cock throb inside you. The rough pad of his thumb finds your clit as his palm presses down on the fat of your mons, forcing his shaft to rub against your g spot with every stroke.

“Ohhh, fuck! Remmick!” You let out a shuddering cry at the feeling, your walls clenching around him from the added stimulation. The sensations are overwhelming, almost cruel, and he grunts at the feeling of your nails digging into his back. He wants your marks on his skin, just as his will soon decorate yours.

“Goddamn… ‘m gonna breed this perfect little pussy. Yer gonna be leakin’ me for days.” He can already feel you teetering on the edge, the pressure in his heavy balls rising as they smack against your ass. “Would you like that, baby? Tell me.” He demands breathlessly as he free hand grips onto the sheets by your head, claws digging in and starting to tear the fabric.

“Fuck, yes! Please. Please. I need it!” You beg through whimpers and cries of pleasure as you feel yourself beginning to lose your grip, his thumb circling your clit and cock abusing your spongy spot sends you barreling toward the edge of bliss.

Remmick feels the telltale signs of your climax approaching, your body beginning to tense and tremble, the grip of your hands and legs tightening around him. Just as a strained sob leaves your throat and your juices begin to flood his cock, he growls. Unable to hold himself back any longer, he bares his sharp, jagged teeth and sinks them into the tender flesh of your neck. A guttural moan rumbles in his chest as your warm, coppery blood fills his mouth. His eyes roll back at the taste, at his full consumption of you. He doesn’t bite with the intent to kill and turn you, not yet, he just needs a taste. For now.

Your back arches off the bed as his teeth sink into you, making your orgasm crash over you like a tidal wave. A choked scream is ripped from your throat, but it’s not a scream of fear or pain, but of ecstasy as the feeling of his teeth and mouth sucking your blood mingles with pure, unbridled ecstasy. Your nails scratch down his back, leaving red lines along his pale skin.

He stills his thrusts, holding his dick as deep inside you as he can go. Your cunt clamps down and spasms wildly around his shaft, gripping almost painfully and milking him for more of his seed to fill and seep into your womb. A deep moan of absolute rapture leaves your lips as you feel the warmth of his cum explode inside you. Your vision blurs and is overtaken with stars as a dull ringing fills your ears, drowning out the sounds around you.

You’re so out of it and lost in the throes of pleasure that you don’t register when his teeth leave your neck, tongue gliding over and soothing your new wound, licking up the last drops of blood.

“We were meant to find each other, darlin’.” He groans reverently against your neck, panting heavily as the last waves of his climax pass through his body and throbbing cock. The feeling of his lips peppering your skin with kisses begins to pull you from the haze in your swimming head. Your heart pounds against your chest and your tired eyes flutter open to peer at him.

Remmick presses a soft but passionate kiss to your lips, the taste of your blood seeping onto your tongue. He’s unable to remember the last time he’s felt this content, this right. The weight and pain of his own past and loneliness no longer weighs so heavily on his shoulders. 

When your lips part, he sighs deeply as his eyes memorize every feature of your face, fingers brushing away the sweat slick strands of hair clinging to your skin.

“I’m not gonna change you just yet. No…” He mutters more to himself than to you, in your fucked out state. Your brows furrow slightly in confusion just as a small smirk tugs at the side of his lips. “Wanna see if my seed takes root first, then we can have ourselves a real family.”

[taegularities]

upcoming… | (m)

Summary: Jungkook once planted a garden in your chest that he watered when he smiled and you killed when he left. But flowers withering isn't enough; that doesn't mend the ache. No – you want this entire story to die.

➵ pairing: Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: exes to ?, college!au; angst, fluff, smut; oneshot ➵ warnings: heartache, past breakup, flashbacks, memories, memory erasure (eternal sunshine of the spotless mind vibe), tears, angst angst angstttt, fights but also such tender moments, college sweethearts 🥺, smut (details to be added when the fic drops)… the ending 👁 ➵ est. word count: around 25k ➵ a/n: another angsty taegularities special :D coming next, so stay tuned!! 👁

–

"I do fear… what if one day, it's just me and my thoughts, and you're nowhere to be found?"

Jungkook laughed; not at your worries, but about how improbable the words sounded. It flooded a sense of relief through you when he promised, "To leave… I'd have to un-meet and forget about you entirely, you know?"

Summary: Somewhere out there, a sinister castle roams the hills behind the dense fog. And somewhere hidden inside, there is a man you need to find; to charm; to wreck. Provided… he doesn't destroy you first.

➵ pairing: Taehyung x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: howl's moving castle au, fantasy au, s2l / e2l; angst, fluff, smut; oneshot ➵ warnings: magic and stuff, spy stuff, frenemies?, bickering and initial dislike, fights, sexual tension, based on the movie version of HMC, multiple (2) smut scenes (details to be added but expect… quite smth :p) ➵ est. word count: 20k ➵ a/n: this has been a wip for literal years now, and i think it's time i sent it out into the world :') since i'm rereading the book (but the fic is based on the ghibli movie!), i've been feeling some sort of way, soooo… howl oneshot soon?

–

“Do you feel anything?”

You can't. There is no heartbeat, no steady rhythm, nothing. Yet he breathes, walks, smiles as if he's missing nothing.

You shake your head, and he chuckles, a crooked smirk that confuses you in the best way possible. He loosens his firm grip around your hand, but you still leave your touch right there, rubbing over his chest until he adds,

“A heart's a heavy burden.” The warmth of your fingers sprawls across his torso, his eyes closing. “Especially if you’re me.”

Summary: Jungkook and you try something very, very new.

➵ pairing: Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: fwb/fake dating/established relationship; fluff, smut; series ➵ warnings: smut smut smut (everything else is redacted bc that'd just spoil the whole thing ha ha :D) ➵ est. word count: 10-12k ➵ a/n: this is part of my colour me in series – for those who don't know! the series is still paused, but i might continue it sometime this year if things work out. this drabble would come next <3

–

"I've been promising it for so long now," he whispers, fingertips wandering along your bare sides, beneath your crop top. "Haven't I?"

Summary: Jeon Jungkook barges into your unproblematic life unexpectedly. He's supposed to stay for the summer; but it doesn't take long for the bright days to turn grey, stirring, bittersweet; a trigger for bleak memories and a reminder that sometimes, closeness shatters more than it heals.

➵ pairing: Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: s2l, summer/college au, dancer!jk; angst, fluff, smut; oneshot ➵ warnings: love triangle!!, yearning, thin walls lol, tears, fighting, old memories/childhood stuff, (mention of) drugs, abandonment, camping, multiple smut scenes (details will be added when the fic drops), plot twists, heartbreak, THE ENDING PLS ➵ est. word count: 40k lol; might split it in 2-3 parts if it gets too long ➵ a/n: i am most excited for this oneshot (?), and i have been for so long. it's a scary amount to write and i don't know when it'll be done. if i could, i'd write and post it rn… it's hella intimidating, but i love this story and i'm also hella excited, so… stay tuned and bring tissues <3

–

“Maybe… I don't know,” he pauses, blinking, and then starts anew, “maybe I'm this much with her, so I don't end up knocking at your door.”

A sting of guilt pierces your heart; you ask, “You… you guys hook up all the time. Doesn’t she feel… that way for you?”

“She doesn't.”

“And you? Do you feel anything for her?”

“I don't.” He hesitates again, shrugging a shoulder. “Well, friendship.”

“...Don't end up breaking hearts, Jungkook.”

Summary: In a world fractured by hatred, Yoongi seems your quiet salvation. But when a boy from your past returns, cloaked in secrets and unfinished memories, battle lines blur and you find yourself faced with a choice between the peace you built and the fire you never truly forgot.

➵ pairing: Yoongi x female reader, Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: royal au, s2l, childhood bf2l, love triangle; angst, fluff, smut; series ➵ warnings: there's a battle/war thing going on, love triangleeeee of the best sort, tender yoongi and fierce jungkook, some scenes are extremely tense – again in the best way possible, sexual tension, heartbreak, hate, betrayal (and nope, no cheating), multiple sex scenes (with both yoongi and jk (but not with both of them together lol)), falling in love hard, jealousy; the… the ending…… ➵ est. word count: 150-200k (around 10 chapters) ➵ a/n: THIS WILL LITERALLY RUIN US LMAO no seriously, i'm going to pour my everything into this. it's a story with quite some angst and heavy tension that even gave me trouble breathing when i was just outlining it :') yoongi in this is achingly sweet and jk is absolutely delicious. i think it'll be a piece i'm most proud of… and someday, i want to turn it into a novel. i hope you all love this 🤍

–

"I am in love with you," Yoongi whispers; your eyes water. "Even if you aren’t only in love with me. I know how this might go. And I am not saying we should make this official because – I am scared you might realise you need him more."

"It’s not about needing anybody…"

"But it’s about who sits in your heart so deeply that it feels like you need him to survive. I don’t know if I am that for you. But you’re that for me."

–

"Why are you still here, Jungkook? Why are you always around me? It’s not me you came back for."

"Sweetheart–"

"Would you have? If not for this?"

"If not for this… I would have come sooner."

Summary: A casual hook up morphs into a fierce fever dream when roommates slash best friends Min Yoongi and Jeon Jungkook bring heaven and hell to you – all at once, in one single night.

➵ pairing: Yoongi x female reader x Jungkook ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: kind of fwb, threesome, college au; fluff, hella smut ➵ warnings: yoongi and oc are fwb, teasing, flirting, kissing booth stuff, jk wears glasses and has long hair (manbun beloved), sexual tension, mid-sex convos, threesome, smut (e.g., double penetration, degradation, spit stuff, manhandling,.. (will expand on this once the full thing drops), aftercare, valentino yoongi and ck jk!! ➵ est. word count: 12-15k ➵ a/n: back to the ruin you days, i guess. am super excited for this to finally drop. gonna give y'all the best version of it possible, love you <3

–

“I’m just saying. Tonight might be a little too much for you with the two of us, you know? I’m not as easy to handle as you think.”

“I don’t think you are,” you confess. “But I don’t want to handle you. I want the opposite.”

There’s a glimmer in his eyes. A hint of desire, hunger growing in the predator’s big gaze. If he wants to reject you now, you’ll walk away.

But you don’t think he will.

And once more, courageous, you say, “Handle me, Jeon Jungkook.”

full teaser that i once posted!

Summary: You carve your name into Jungkook's mind with constant affection and care, and he keeps hoping that both your hearts beat in unison, synchronised and wild. But in reality, it’s only ever him who falls – you're as still as time... until, you're not.

➵ pairing: Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: singer!jungkook, bf2l but also brother's best friend; angst, fluff, smut; trilogy ➵ warnings: jealousy, another love triangle lmao, namjoon is her brother and his best friend, oc playing wingwoman, confessions, pain, tears, moving away, yearning, idiots to lovers too tbh, smut <3 ➵ est. word count: around 60-70k in total ➵ a/n: this is part of my evermore series which was supposed to have a oneshot/twoshot/trilogy per member with unrelated stories; but since life has gotten so crazy, i might not be able to write all of them. but i still have tae's fic 'cotton candy' written and want to work on timbre; so these will drop at least and i am so thrilled to share them. especially this lil mini series 🤍

–

Jeon Jungkook has been in love with you since the very first time he met you.

At least that's what he'd tell you if you ever asked.

He won’t tell you that whatever respect he housed for you since you were teenagers evolved into something far more advanced along the way.

That it was over time that your friendship started blooming like the tiger lillies he liked so much. You must have been sixteen then.

Now, around eight years have passed, and the thriving musician and your best friend Jeon Jungkook is still in love with you. Boundlessly, irreversibly.

–

a/n: hey hey!! this is a small overview of all the things i shall start preparing very, very soon. i will work on these wips whenever i can, and i am excited about every single one of them. i will ofc also drop longer teasers to each story when we reach that point!

i do also think you guys will love each story! so i can't wait to drop them one by one :') this post is also sort of to motivate and inspire me, so if you want to talk about any of these or hype them up… let's talk :p

–

also, here's the taglist! <3

[certaimromance]

𝜗𝜚 Cherry Picking.

Boyfriend!Reid x Messy!reader

Summary: After your first night with Spencer, you wake up and see that he's left you two dollars and a thank-you note on your bedside table.

Words: 2,3k.

Warnings & Tags: fem!reader. bau!reader. lots of mentions and references to sex, but nothing completely explicit. the reader is quite dramatic and has little faith in men (literally me, sorry). SO MUCH chaos and lack of communication but happy ending. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: This idea just came to me out of the blue, and I have to say that Sex and the City has had a bit of an influence. I love the chaos, the conversations between friends, and Spencer being the best man in the world (I'm picturing him kind of like in his season four version).

Saturday afternoon

“Two dollars?!”

Penelope's and JJ's simultaneous exclamations and surprised faces when you finished speaking were pretty much to be expected. They noticed a change in your expression and took a moment to compose themselves, as did the rest of the people in the room, who glanced curiously at your table from time to time. It was certainly a fascinating sight, three women having an animated conversation about their lives over milkshakes as if they were drinks, especially considering that one of them was pregnant and her belly looked like it was about to explode.

You didn't blame anyone for reacting that way, especially not your friends. You were still pretty shocked by what happened, especially by how thoughtless the man you'd developed feelings for and worked closely with over the past few years was. It was a unsettling to find a tip on your nightstand after one of the most memorable nights you'd ever had. You still remembered the excitement you felt when you went to Spencer's apartment yesterday to watch a movie as part of your fourth or fifth date. He seemed nervous when you started kissing more intensely, and the couch wasn't the best setting. The sensation of your body on his bed and his lips on your skin was incredible.

It was a good memory, extremely good if you took away the embarrassment of waking up the next day in his empty bed with money waiting for you, as if you had performed a service.

“Maybe there was a misunderstanding and the money was left on the table by mistake.” Jennifer spoke again in a reassuring tone after turning the matter over. “Spencer can be a little clumsy sometimes.”

You pressed your lips together in a thin line as you listened to her attempt to provide an explanation for his actions. But given their friendship, this was to be expected.

“And he was in a hurry to catch his plane and go to his mother.” Garcia added with a forced smile, trying to lift your spirits. “It all makes sense.”

Yes, it was understandable that he was leaving in a hurry because he had to catch a flight to spend his weekend off with his mother. That didn't worry you, but there was something else that was curious.

“How do you explain the thank-you note?” You asked, taking out the paper and the two dollars you'd pulled out to show them as proof from your purse.

“It was a thank you for hanging out with him, a sweet gesture.” JJ said, taking a sip of her milkshake and patting her belly.

It seemed more like a sour gesture to you, that you had been left with your dignity on the floor. As you left his apartment, you didn't know whether to cry or laugh because it sounded like a bad joke that the only man you thought was decent and for whom you allowed yourself to have feelings would do such a thing.

“My love life is going downhill.” You said.

Just then, the restaurant door opens and Emily appears. After greeting her and apologizing for her late arrival, she asks about the cause of your apparent distress. As a profiler, she was astute enough to know something was wrong just by looking at you.

“What's wrong, honey?” She started talking as soon as she sat down next to you and took a quick look at the table. “Those milkshakes look good, I want one.”

“Spencer thinks I'm a prostitute.” You spoke up without thinking, which surprised Emily and caused her to briefly lose her grip on the menu.

There was a long, awkward silence.

Perhaps you were too direct in saying something that you had been trying to ignore for your own mental health.

“Just a heads-up, we've got a baby in the room. No need to say that word!” Penelope was the first to speak, gently covering JJ's belly with her hands. “He can hear you.”

At that moment, Reid and his comments about pregnancy data at every stage came to mind. You felt a little uncomfortable because you knew it was a little unrealistic to focus on the positives at a time like this.

“Oh, I'm so sorry, baby.” You looked regretfully at your friends and spoke to Jennifer's belly, giving it a gentle caress. “Don't listen.”

“I need context, please.” Emily said confusedly, trying to understand what was going on and why you had said what you had said.

You let out a deep breath, preparing yourself to recount the story once more.

“Okay, Spencer and I made...milkshakes. Very good milkshakes, really good if you know what I mean.” You tried to explain slowly, watching your words and your friends' expressions. “I woke up when he was leaving, he gave me a kiss on my forehead and said to keep sleeping, that he had to catch his flight.”

“That's sweet, but weird to know.” Emily commented quizzically, looking at the menu intently again. “What's the part...you know?”

“Oh, when he thought I was-” You stop yourself as you see how JJ looks at you. “A pie maker.”

You could tell from their expressions that they were about to laugh at your attempts to keep the conversation friendly.

“I woke up hours later to find two dollars on the nightstand with a thank-you note.” You finished the story. “To him, I'm worth two fu...sugary dollars.”

Prentiss stared at you for several seconds, waiting for me to tell her it was a joke. Only when that didn't happen did she speak. “That sounds weird and awful, but I don't think he would do something like that on purpose. Especially you, he really likes you.”

“He likes me enough to give me two dollars.”

When you finished speaking, you experienced a moment of discomfort in your stomach as your own words took effect. You were surprised to find that on a deeper level, what had happened was causing you more pain than you had anticipated.

“That doesn't sound like Reid at all. I've known him for years, and he's not that kind of man.” Penelope said with a frown, trying to reassure you. “I'm sure it's a mix-up.”

You were looking for the same thing and hoping it was just a misunderstanding, but your previous bad experiences made you think otherwise. You'd met enough men to know that they could always be worse. What was different now was that you really liked this particular man. You really longed for him to be different from everyone else.

However, things weren't always as you'd hoped. You'd invested a lot of hope in making your fairy tale come true, and it was starting to take its toll.

“Have you had a chance to speak with him?” JJ inquired.

“He's with his mother, I won't bother him.” You replied with a strange simplicity that made your friends suspicious. “I'm fine, I've calmed down.” You added as you saw their worried faces.

“I love you, but sometimes you scare me.” Emily said, watching you drink from your smoothie as if it contained a painkiller. “It's not okay to pretend that everything's fine.”

“It's understandable to feel a bit discouraged about this. Things may seem challenging at the moment, but I believe things will improve when you discuss this with him.” Jennifer's hand gently touched yours, offering a comforting gesture.

“I'm sure everything will be fine. You have our support if you need it.” Penelope joined in with the motivational words and gave you a reassuring smile.

You took the last sip of your milkshake and leaned back in your seat for a moment before replying. “I'm fine, girls. I don't plan to lose my head over a man, I promised myself.”

They looked at you with some skepticism, but you didn't flinch. You were confident that if you were mentally prepared not to be defeated, or at least not to look defeated, you would be well prepared for the day of the meeting.

You weren't going to lose your mind over this.

Monday morning

You were definitely losing your mind, and no cup of tea or internet video that promised to do so had been able to relax you one bit. You had been cooped up in the office you shared with Penelope for several minutes, pacing in your chair while everyone in the conference room waited for information about a new case and your presence. The mere thought of having to face Reid again was making you feel pretty uneasy.

All weekend, you had been trying to reassure yourself that you were doing well, that you were not hurt or affected by what happened, that it was just one more disappointment to add to the long list you had written since you were a teenager, and that it was normal for someone with your luck. You were not a princess, you were not going to meet a prince, and you were old enough to know that.

But being in the same building as your prince turned toad was not as easy as you had hoped. You prayed that your presence would not be necessary and that the jet would soon take off to take them all away, especially him.

A few sudden knocks on the door startled you. You automatically thought it was your boss coming to scold you for being late, and your blood froze.

“I apologize for the delay, Hotch. I assure...” You spoke promptly as soon as the door opened and a male figure appeared.

But obviously, it wasn't him.

“Oh, sorry, I'm not Hotch. But hey, how are you?” Spencer smiled at you and walked toward you, looking a little nervous.

“Fine.” You replied dryly, getting up from your seat to grab your tablet and some folders to carry into the conference room.

In your mind, you had planned to make a scene as soon as you saw him and make it clear that you didn't cost just two dollars. But after thinking about it a lot, the fear of losing your job over it was greater. And now it was a mixture of that reasoning with your feeling of paralysis at actually having him in front of you.

“I...I missed you over the weekend.” He stopped you before you could walk away, gently holding your hand. The feeling alone made you stop and look at him angrily. “I thought about you a lot, too much, and I bought you something.” He let go of your hand to pull a small box out of his pocket.

“How dare you?” You blurt out, taking a step back.

He looked a little uncomfortable and seemed to be in pain. “I'm sorry if I overstepped. I didn't mean to impose. Did I cross a line? I'm sorry, I just thought—”

“What? That you could embarrass me even more? Didn't I already go through enough?”

That's when you took out two dollars from your purse and gave it to him.

“Could I ask why this is?” Spencer was still frowning and looked just as hurt as you.

His apparent lack of understanding of the situation made you much angrier. You had thought he was probably the smartest man you had ever met in your entire life, but suddenly, in your eyes, he was an idiot.

“I'm refunding your payment, Reid.” You replied firmly, without hiding your frustration.

The confusion on his face seemed to multiply as he tried to understand. “What are you talking about? I gave you your money back.”

You tilted your head slightly to one side.

“Saturday morning, I left on the nightstand the two dollars you lent me a week ago when we bought coffee. You know I don't like being in debt.” Spencer began to explain calmly, taking a moment to gather his thoughts and present the facts in a clear and concise manner.

Oh, you do remember lending him money at some point, or rather, inviting him for coffee that he said he'd pay you back. That day when his hair was perfect in the wind, when he smiled at you and told you some interesting facts about coffee beans.

“I mentioned it when I said goodbye, but you looked so tired that I left you a thank you note in case you forgot.” He went on to explain. “A lot of studies say that you wake up to full strength at least 20 to 30 minutes after you actually open your eyes. And you still had them closed when I said goodbye.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I...I thought you—” You fell silent as you saw the stunned look on his face. You didn't want to look crazy, so you quickly added. “I just thought wrong.”

“I'm sorry, I don't understand.” He said, a little embarrassed. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Oh, no, I just...did you bring me a gift?” You changed the subject, taking the box he had previously offered you. Inside was a necklace with a cherry blossom charm.

“Your computer wallpaper is a picture of cherry blossoms. And I saw this necklace in a store when I was walking with my mom, and I thought you might like it. But it's okay if you don't want it—” He spoke fast until you interrupted him.

“I love it, thank you.” You smiled at him and took the necklace out of the box. “Could you help me with this?”

With some trepidation and uncertainty still present, Spencer positioned himself behind you with the jewel in his hands, carefully brushed your hair aside and fastened the necklace around your neck. The sensation of his fingers brushing against your skin made you feel a slight shiver.

“Thanks.” You said as you turned around to face him. You gave him a hug, though you were a little unsure.

He returned your embrace, feeling a sense of relief that things between you were okay. “You don't have to thank me.”

“It's not about the gift. It's just a way to say thanks for being you.”

Perhaps he was your prince after all.

[alternate-real-ities]

Research Report: Subject J - Asian Flu

Prepared by: Dr. Amara Patel & Dr. Liam Chen

These diary entries, obtained through confidential sources, detail the personal experiences and transformations of a young man identified only as "Jake" who has been unknowingly infected with the recently emerged Asian Flu (AF). His accounts provide invaluable firsthand insights into the virus's effects on its host, spanning from early symptoms to advanced stages. Thus, with these entries, we aim to better understand the virus's effects and timeline.

Diary Entries:

Dear diary,

I woke up feeling a bit off today, but nothing major. Probably just another case of the common cold going around. I didn't let it stop me from starting my day as usual - working on my laptop at home while sipping coffee. My muscles were kinda sore too, but I thought it was just from my workout yesterday.

I did notice something strange though - when I caught my reflection in the mirror, my pecs looked a bit bigger than usual. Probably just my imagination, right? They're not exactly massive to begin with on my scrawny frame. But hey, maybe I'm finally making some progress at the gym!

Anyway, enough about me and my silly feelings. I'm going to bed early tonight. hopefully I'll feel more like myself tomorrow.

Dear diary,

Woke up today feeling even better than yesterday! I breezed through my work and couldn't wait to get back to the gym. When I stepped into the locker room, a few guys checked me out appreciatively. Normally that would make me blush, but now it just gave me this weird rush of confidence.

At first, I thought the gym machines felt a bit too easy today. Like my body was used to working at higher intensities than I realized. And why were my pecs tingling so much? Probably just a funny nerve thing, no biggie.

When I got home, I caught another glimpse of myself in the mirror and… holy shit… are my muscles bigger? Like, way bigger than they should be after one intense workout. Also, I didn't look as pale as I usually do?

This can't be real - something's going on, I just don't know what it is… Hopefully, I'll have more time to think about it tomorrow.

Dear diary,

Okay, so something is seriously wrong with me but I can't put my finger on it.

I can't stop sweating, even when I'm just sitting around doing nothing! My clothes are always soaked and I stink like a damn animal in heat... And don't even get me started on my fucking pecs - they're so sensitive right now. Like every brush of fabric against them sends a jolt straight to my dick.

I called in sick to work today, couldn't handle trying to make sense of all those spreadsheets and emails. It's like everyone's talking in a foreign language now, I just don't get it no more. I keep telling myself this is all stress-related but deep down, I know something ain't right.

At the gym today, I kept having to increase the weights because anything less felt like a joke now. There were these two Asian guys there who kept glancing over at me admiringly between sets. Normally I'd be flattered but nervous about such obvious stares. Instead, I found myself flexing subtly in their direction, feeling this bizarre urge to show off my body.

And to top it all off, I've been having these crazy horny urges nonstop. Like, I'm constantly rock hard and leaking pre-cum like a fucking faucet. It's embarrassing as hell. I ended up jerking off about three times today already but it did nothing to satisfy this insatiable hunger in my balls.

I'm scared… I don't know what's happening to me. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and I'll wake up soon. Please.

Dear diary,

Fuck… what's happening to me? I'm struggling to type this entry because my fingers feel too thick and clumsy on the keyboard.

I went back to the gym again today because I couldn't stay away, even though part of me knew something was seriously off. The Asian guys from yesterday were there again and this time… fuck… I walked up to them and started chatting like it was the most natural thing in the world. Talking about protein shakes, the best ways to sculpt chest muscles, shit I wouldn't have given a second thought to before.

They kept touching my arms admiringly as we talked, marveling at how fast I must be growing. And I fucking liked it. Craved more of their attention and praise. We ended up in the locker room together…

I'm not proud of what happened next but I couldn't control myself. I was too drunk on this new sense of power and desire coursing through my body. The next thing I knew, we were all naked, touching each other, moaning like animals…

I can't think straight anymore either. It's like all the smart stuff is leaking outta my head and being replaced with nothing bro.

And the smells… everything smells so much stronger now. My own stink, sweat and musk, it's so intense!

I'm losing control here diary… I feel like I'm turning into one of those dumb gym bro stereotypes and it scares the everloving shit outta me. I almost can't recognize myself in the mirror anymore.

Tomorrow, I'll go see my doctor to finally understand what's going on.

Yo diary, it's your boy Jake and lemme tell ya, today was fuckin' EPIC dude! Like, the most awesomest day ever since this crazy shit started happening to me.

Woke up feelin' like a million bucks, muscles all twitchy and ready to dominate. I hit the gym real quick, just a lil warm-up ya know? And oh man, did I catch some looks! All those bros were starin' at my gains, probably wishin' they had a physique like mine hehe.

After that, I decided to take my rock hard bod for a walk in the park. Felt good to let the sunshine warm up my bronzed skin and show off these sick pecs. I was strutting real confident-like, just basking in all the attention from thirsty bitches and dudes.

Then, get this diary… I bumped into this super cute lil twink at the park! He was practically drooling when he saw my massive package tentin' in my shorts. I couldn't resist, had to show him what a real man feels like down there haha.

We found a lil spot behind some bushes and I bent that boy over and gave it to him HARD, diary. Pounded his tight boyclit so good he was screaming for more. Fucked him so deep he'll be tasting my cock for days! Blew the biggest load right up in his guts too, hah!

I'm gonna hit the gym again later for some more gains, maybe see if I can find another thirsty boycunt to bust in after. Life is fuckin' great diary!

Analysis:

Based on Jake's diary entries, we can confirm the progression of AF symptoms aligns with our current understanding: rapid muscle growth, cognitive decline, personality changes, and increased sexual aggression. His accounts also highlight the virus's insidious nature, as he remains largely unaware and unconcerned about his transformations.

To better understand the virus's transmission dynamics and long-term effects on secondary hosts, it is imperative that we identify and locate the twink (hereafter referred to as "Subject TW") with whom Jake engaged in sexual activities at the park. There is a high probability that Subject TW has been infected with the Asian Flu through this encounter.

Locating and monitoring this new potential subject could provide crucial insights into the virus's sexual transmission rates, incubation periods for secondary infections, and further manifestation of symptoms in diverse hosts.

This final surveillance footage from a concealed camera in a nearby gym captures Subject J (center frame) engaging with his newly acquired "bros". This clip represents the most current documentation of Jake's behaviours and physical state, obtained while maintaining strict contamination avoidance protocols. The timestamp indicates this recording is approximately three weeks after his initial diary entries.

Caution: Viewers are strongly advised not to approach or engage with Subject J or his associates without proper protective measures in place, as their sweat and other bodily fluids pose significant infection risks.

Please direct any inquiries or resources needed to pursue this lead to Dr. Patel or Dr. Chen.

[End Report]