#tumblr is telling there are not posts for those tags but I refused to believe it

[neechees]

I'm putting out a warning for the user @jenniferpss/jenniferpzsss for likely being a scam and likely being run by notorious scammer Laura Deramas for the following reasons & proof:

Their blog has only existed since December 16th 2023, which is when they started asking for money.

They claim they live in the U.S but are "European" and are recieving healthcare in the U.S, while also asking for donations in American dollars. We've seen this with various other scams like nevermindblog where they claimed to be European but had their paypal currency set to U.S dollars. It's also weird to me that a European would go to a country with one of the most expensive healthcare costs in the world when there's several other, closer, much less expensive options that are equal (if not higher) in quality to the U.S to recieve healthcare within Europe. (Proof of that below)

On the note of calling themselves "European", they never specify what their Nationality or ethnicity is. Of course not all Europeans are the same, but that's precisely it, a lot of Europeans don't just call themselves "European", they'll happily list where they're from, and say something like "I'm Breton from France", or "I'm German" or "I'm from England", not just "I'm European". This allegedly European user doesn't and hasn't ever listed their country of origin, so they're likely faking an ethnicity

They claim they want to recieve donations via PayPal and Facebook pay, but to use facebook pay you have to have an active facebook account, which they refuse to give to people.

Below they also claim fbpay & paypal is "the only way I can recieve donations" despite the fact that cashapp & venmo, two of the most popular money transfer apps in the U.S, are available to Americans with an American address. If theyve been living long enough in America to be well incorporated into the American healthcare system, including having American insurance, an American specialist doctor, and a homecare nurse that they say they have in their donation post, then why can they not just use venmo or cashapp, which is available to anyone with an American address, which if they're telling the truth, they would definitely have? I find it hard to believe that someone who's been living in America for a while doesn't know about venmo or cashapp when asking for donations.

They claim in their donation post that they want to be "truly as transparent and honest as possible!", but then when someone asked jenniferpss to clear up some allegations against them & to be transparent, instead of doing what they said they'd do, they redirected, said the person asking questions was "attacking" them, and then didn't answer ANY of the questions. This would be suspicious enough on its own, but we've also seen such behavior from Laura in previous scams where, instead of answering reasonable, legitimate questions people had, she victimized herself and claimed ANY questions were a personal "attack" on her, regardless of how nicely worded.

They started spam messaging/asking people to reblog their donation posts, including sending these messages specifically to people who say they don't reblog donation posts bc they received an ask to.

Suddenly changed their url after being asked to address their suspicious behavior, which is a common scammer tactic. (Used to be @jenniferpss, now changed to @/jenniferpzsss, which you can see the difference & dates in the above and below screenshots)

In one of their posts, they specifically tagged two previous victims of Laura Deramas asking them to reblog their post, but ONLY them. If they're truly new to tumblr then why specifically tag those two users? How did they know about those users when they previously never interacted with either of them? Why did they ONLY tag those two users? We know Laura would often re-target other people who had donated to her or that she'd manipulated in the past for her newer scams where she pretended to be someone else, so this is typical Laura behavior. Note that the replies on their donation post are also restricted, which is ALSO typical scammer behavior

[ffc1cb]

new art blog

the short version:

1. i made a new art blog: @cbge;

2. @ffc1cb will stay up as an archive.

the long version:

hi everyone. this announcement is somewhat late, since the blog in question has been up for a few months now, and i’ve already started posting art on it. the reason it took me so long to “reveal” it is because i’ve been trying to figure out whether a new blog is something i actually want, or if it's just me throwing darts at a board, trying to make myself feel better somehow.

i don’t know when precisely it all started, but ever since sometime last year i’ve been going through a hard time, both emotionally and creatively. i’m not sure whether being depressed is what made art harder, or art becoming harder is what made me depressed (a bit of both, i think), but lately, drawing has been a struggle. 

i’ve found myself having less and less energy for art, and this lack of energy resulted in poorer quality of drawings, which resulted in me feeling like i’m getting worse at it, despite my efforts. i knew i could make good art, art that i’m proud of - i’ve done so countless times before, - but somehow it felt like i just couldn’t anymore, like my hands forgot how to. nothing looked right. 

i’ve been trying to experiment. i’ve learned some new things, tried this and that - it was enlightening, to say the least, and even though i kind of liked how it looked, it made me feel a sense of displacement. i was at odds with myself, my art, and how i felt about it, when previously i was always in sync. i was making art, yes, and it looked nice, but it felt like it wasn’t mine.

i suppose part of it was also the growing lack of engagement, and i don’t mean likes and reblogs - i never particularly cared about those. they are all just numbers to me; dry and impersonal. what i’m talking about is actual, human interactions: personal thoughts in tags, asks, replies, etc. a conversation. 

i don’t mean to sound “old” or anything, but i remember when talking to artists online was more commonplace. my wife tells me it’s because the internet culture has changed over the years, that people have become more reclusive, less willing to be open with their thoughts, and she's probably right, but in my slump i find it hard to believe. somehow it feels like it’s my fault for being less “engaging”, for seeming unapproachable or perhaps intimidating. maybe it’s “just a skill issue”, maybe it’s because i have stopped churning out fanart for popular fandoms, maybe it’s because i refuse to torture myself emotionally by having an art account on twitter (i can’t fucking stand the place anymore; i still post nsfw art there, but only because it’s literally one of the only places on the internet that allows you to do so. i miss when you could post female presenting tits on tumblr).

i have always, ever since i started posting art on the internet back in 2012, done it for human connection. i wanted to talk to people, and have people talk to me. i wanted to inspire people with my art, and i wanted to bring them comfort. i wanted to elicit an emotional response, and have people tell me about it. it was one of the main reasons i drew in the first place; having lost that, i’ve been struggling to stay passionate about making art.

i miss being a small artist on the internet during the 2010s. i remember when i could make a post going, “hey everyone, how are you all doing today?” and it would not seem weird to people in the slightest. it is just me? does anyone else feel that way? am i too deep in my own head? the internet feels so unwelcoming nowadays, especially to artists. we are all just content machines; people scroll by our stuff, or maybe look at it for half a second and leave a like before scrolling away. i know it’s unfair to demand people’s attention, especially now when our lives are already so overwhelmed by everything - no one has the energy to pay closer attention; i myself am not immune to mindless scrolling. but it feels bad. i wish we were all sincere and enthusiastic again.

anyway (sorry for rambling. i hope i haven’t bored you to death), you might want to say, okay, but how is making a new art blog on a “dying” social platform going to help with any of that? the truth is, i don’t know. i just felt like i needed a change. 

i’ve been running this blog since 2016 (that’s almost 8 full years!). i feel incredibly attached to it, but at the same time, i feel it weighing me down. 

there are people who followed me years ago for one specific thing, still expecting me to post about said thing (i still find it mindboggling that some people follow artists for a specific fandom only, but that is a whole other matter for a whole other post that i will never write). a third, if not half, of my following are probably dead blogs. and with my current struggle with trying to regain the joy i once felt for making art, looking back at all the art i’ve done over the years makes me feel tired. i still love it all; it’s all very dear to me. i’m proud of it; looking at it makes me mourn my younger and more passionate self.

so i’ve decided to make a new blog, where i will let myself post whatever i want, in whatever stage of donness i feel like. maybe it will help me, somehow. maybe it won’t. but if you care about my art, if you want to keep following me on my artistic journey, i welcome you to join me there. similarly, feel free not to - no hard feelings.

thank you everyone for your support over the years; it matters a lot to me. i’m not planning to delete or private this blog; it will stay up, and i will still be reachable on here. i will still answer asks, if there will be any. i’m just not planning to post any art here anymore. this is it for my dear old friend ffc1cb.

i can be found in other places:

@cbge, as mentioned earlier,

@k0nstanta, an art blog dedicated solely to my wife and i’s ocs,

@inquisimail, a dragon age ask blog that has become my dragon age sideblog in general,

and multiple other blogs, none of which are art related, but feel free to ask, if you’re curious.

thank you very much for reading all of this. i hope you have a wonderful day.

[deep-sea-anemone]

I don't know you, I don't know who or what you ship, but my understanding of anti vs. pro means being anti vs. pro-shipping children with adults and if you think the majority opinion is that that is perfectly fine and normal, you need to go outside and touch grass.

Hi!

I assume you're referring to my addition on that poll post. I'm happy to clear a few things up.

Firstly, Proship IS the default opinion and only in recent years has this anti-ship ideology come about (I have my own theories as to why that is, but that's its own can of worms and I specifically just want to adress this ask).

Any Pro vs Anti definitions were made up and forced on proshippers (again, because pro is the default and Antis are new). As such, Antis have skewed the meaning of proship into basically stating that "all proshippers like and endorse this content, and do not discriminate between content or judge the individuals who make it". This actually goes against what proshippers believe. The entire pro-ship philosophy can essentially be boiled down to "don't like, don't read".

There is a whole hoard of fiction that grosses me out. For instance I hate yandere and non-con, and find incest and minor/adult relationships incredibly gross. I even block the "age-gap" tag because even if they are both consenting, having that much of a power imbalance wiggs me out. I've unfollowed some of my favorite artists because they've posted dynamics and scenes that I don't like (Most recently I unfollowed a very popular artist because I found out they ship Sukufushi: a ship between a 16 year old and an ancient demon possessing another 16 year old. Since it's fiction and not reality, you get these wierd nuances that could never happen in the real world and it is up to the individual to decide what they are comfortable with).

A lot of proshippers actually WILL tell you that people who like pedophilic ships or other dark content (such as rape and snuff fics) ARE gross and sick in the head and that the people who think otherwise are delusional. That doesn't mean that I don't believe that they don't have a right to create that content. I just want them to keep it away from me. Hence why I have those tags blocked on tumblr and why I filter them out when I search for fics.

The proshipper philosophy isn't that problematic ideas/ships are good and should be celebrated, and everyone certaintly doesn't believe that it is "perfectly normal", we just think that if you don't like it then, rather than berating the "freaks" who do, simply block and move on and do your best to keep them out of your thoughts, because ultimately, as disgusting as it is, there is no actual harm in it.

Secondly, Antis seem to believe that we proshippers endorse gross/dark content in real life. I assure you that that is NOT the case. And if an individual does, in fact enact their ficticious-but-irl-illegal fantasies, then that is not an example of the pro-shipper caving in and acting out their sick desires in the real world. It is the case of a REAL LIFE pedophile (or whatever) coming into fandom spaces and then interacting with or creating dark content. Is it possible that this happens? Sure. That doesn't mean that it is the default or even common, and basically every proshipper is in agreement that they are disgusting individuals. Again, this is because proshippers believe that fiction should remain fiction. Any time that make-believe turns into real-world actions, it is no longer make-believe and is now a real danger. Antis refuse to see the difference between the two.

You also mentioned touching grass which I think is a little ironic. The proshipper philosophy is that as long as fiction remains fiction, it has no bearing on the real world. It is Antis that have a hard time recognizing that playing pretend isn't the same as physical wrongdoing. Hence, why proshippers use the term "touch grass": it's meant to remind people that there is more to life than fantasy and online discourse, That it's important to log off and go "touch grass" to remind yourself that there is a difference between the tangible real-world and the imaginary scenarios that people create in their heads.

If you (and others! This isn't meant to be a callout, just informative) have difficulty comprehending this, I encourage you to consider the following scenarios:

1) Murder Mysteries: just because someone writes someone getting murdered, does not mean that they would want to see it happen,and certainly not commit it in real life.

2) BDSM: no party that willingly engages in bdsm is truly getting hurt (except to the extent that they want to be). Smacking someone during sessions does not mean that that person would ever do it in real life, and certainly wouldn't support others doing it

3) rape fantasies: this sort of goes along with bdsm, but there is a large difference between having faith that your trusted partner would never hurt you and only acts out a scenario because you ask them to, and being forced against your will to engage in harmful and/degrading sex acts.

4) Shooter Games: For a long time, people believed that playing violent video games corrupted children's moral and made them crave violence and increased the likelihood that they would want to renact that violence and turn into school shooters. There was actually a study done a while ago examining the link between video game violence and real life consequences....and they found nothing. There was no correlation between committing fictional violence and real world impact.

Fiction =/= real life.

Secondly, Antis have a tendency to invade people's inboxes and leave hate comments everywhere. Sometimes this is just saying "this is gross", but often Antis start harassment campaigns, recruiting multiple individuals to scare and intimidate people whose content they don't like (One tactic is to dump hundreds of graphic, gory images into peoples inboxes. I'm sure you can see how that would be traumatizing). Antis also have a history of doxxing people and causing this ficticious content to cause real-life harm to come to people. This is especially concerning since one of the most common things Antis like to parrot is some variation of "kill yourself".

A lot of Antis actually ARE proshippers, they just don't realize it because they get so caught up with the Anti's hate philosophy that they believe that willingly not engaging with content that they don't like (rather than harassing and condemning people who do) is what proshippers stand against. This is why some proshippers use the terms "anti-harrasment" and "pro-censorship" rather than proshippers and antishippers because it helps to clarify what the pro-shipper philosophy ACTUALLY is.

*phew* that was a long post, wasn't it? Let's both go touch grass together 🤝

[bean-t]

@tumblr

If any of you following @ani-bunnie or @ani-bunnie13 see this, u may have noticed her account was taken down. On behalf of Ani, as her friend, I'm just gonna explain that tumblr has been sending emails throughout last year suspecting the account may be a bot. She has responded several times notifying them that she is human (as those who follow can probably tell). If you've been following her, you may know her accounts have run into similar problems but have always been resolved eventually, this time the account is down, no matter how much Ani contacts tumblr, they refuse to believe she is not a bot. I'm just posting this to clarify if you are confused and were not able to see her last post (some can, some can't).

Ani requested I tag the following: @theshyqueergirl @aheartstopperfan @xini-the-octonaut @ilianazzzosemanverse @venusplanetoflove2 @corryglover @bevilbargains @ani-bunnie13 @ani-bunnie

[karenandhenwillson]

Some thoughts about learning and communication

I wanted to start this post with a screenshot, but I can't find the post in question anymore. I thought I had seen one of the people on the side of the call out posts making a post asking if no one had learned from the situation two years ago. Maybe it was a tag or a comment on a post instead, but I can't find it again. Wherever I saw the question, I still want to answer it.

(Continue under the break again.)

The simple answer is: No, you (specifically you as the person who posted this and their friends) have not learned a single thing from the situation two years ago. Your half-apologizes, or your refusal to apologize, and the way some of you are painting themselves the victims in the first place or of now being hit by the backlash also tells me already you haven't learned from this time either.

Two years ago the whole mess finally died down for the most part after a Black author was horribly hit by the whole the general fear and haste to appear to be on the "right" side that this fandom had fallen into at this point and she was very loud and outspoken about it so that some people finally recognized the mistakes they were making. Before this Black author, there had been a Black teacher who spoke up about the whole situation, who was trying to caution the mob to calm down and trying to teach about how to approach a productive conversation about racism. 

I'm not going to dig up those screenshots, but I still want to remind everyone of her. Because she was a very outspoken and for a time loud voice, who didn't even say that all or any of the accusations where wrong but just said that the approach to all of it was wrong. She was hit with hate and messages that contained sui baiting (Feel free to DM me if you don't know what this is, it took me some time to get it, too, when I joined tumblr.) and other threats or demeaning comments or accusations she would support the racists. Some of them weren't even anon because some people claiming to be on the "right" side were horribly comfortable attacking a Black person. In the end, her voice was silenced. 

I'll repeat that last sentence again, because I think it's important: In a debate about racism in this fandom, a Black voice was silenced by the side of the crowd who claimed to be fighting against racism.

I believe she said a lot of important things. Most of them can be boiled down to something an anon said in this debate and that I already quoted in the other post:

I've realised that I will never convince anyone by publicly shaming them. I might be able to silence them, but I won't convince them.

The communication both this week and two years ago failed completely. In parts for the same two major reasons we have seen this week, too:

1. Some of the people involved have taken everything said to them in horribly bad faith or willfully misinterpreted things that were said.

2. The artist in this case barely speaks English and needs a translation tool for all their communication. Two years ago from the very beginning, people were involved on both sides whose first language isn't English either and no matter how good they are at English or how much they write in their free time, it's still a barrier. (I'll detail an example for this later on.)

The first point compounded with the second point led to people, especially on the side of those accusing others of several things, twisting the things that were allegedly said in a horrific way. (As already mentioned, two years ago the accusation of racism wasn't the beginning but just the thing that "finally" found traction. I'm not sharing the screenshot of that here either because no one who was hurt two years ago deserves it to be brought up again more than it already has been. But I have proof that this didn't start over Chimney, that the very first iteration of the lists that were eventually created and widely shared was all about Maddie.)

We have seen this in a very glaring example this time. The artist was accused of claiming Jee-Yun had lighter skin than either of her parents, but when the screenshot of that part of the conversation was eventually shared, it turned out the artist was much more likely talking about a child she knew who she had brought up as a reference in the sentence before. I also fully believe the artist when they say the next part about "her skin getting lighter when she gets older" (again in reference to the child they know, not in reference to Jee-Yun, as was claimed long before that screenshot was shared) to be a mistake of the translation tool used. I've seen these kinds of mistakes in the artist’s post, and also in the private conversations I've had with them in the meantime.

I promised to share an example of how communication can be difficult between people with different first languages. There is, of course, the whole cultural side of it all that the artist already pointed out in their last post about the debate. There is the whole thing about different mindsets, about experience and perceiving the world, about how different cultures will view things differently without being aware of the differences even if they are aware to generally not know much about the other culture they are meeting.

These differences will be found in the language and how each of them uses them, too. And I'd not hesitate to bet a lot of money that most people never think about some of these differences in the use of the very same words if they aren't linguists.

English isn't my first language. I've had, in fact, a very difficult time to learn English at all. But I'm still interested in languages for several reason. When I was a child, I spent a lot of time with Czech friends, so I learned a little Czech from them. I didn't really keep any of it into adulthood because the friends moved away. I've learned French and Latin in school beside English, and after school I spent a little time learning Korean. So, I think I can safely say I've gotten familiar with more languages than many people.

I was still completely ignorant of some translations errors specifically concerning the discussion about racism until I started to get involved in English conversations about it.

There is no word for race in my language. But there is a word that sounds nearly identically, that has the exact same linguistical root as "race", but that has historically a completely different meaning. This word, my teachers would call it a false-friends as it sounds so similar to race, is one of the most horrifically racist and dehuminzing words you can use in my language while talking about another human being. 

If you put that word in any translation tool, it will come back as "breed" in English. But it also will come back as "race". So of course, when I started to breach this topic in English, I assumed race and the word in my language to mean the same. Very, very slowly the English word "race" is adopted into my language so we'll have a word with the same meaning in our language without having to invent something completely new. Because there is no way to rebrand the similar sounding word of my language.

Can you imagine how I felt about using the word "race" for a very long time? I felt so horrifically offended every time it came up and tried to tell myself that, of course, in other parts of the world the history was different so using that word while talking about humans wasn't the tabu I had grown up with. But using the word still made me sick, so for a long time I talked around it, used other words (ethnicity as an example, because the direct translation of that is what my language uses mostly to get the same meaning across as the English "race"). 

No one ever called me out for it. But since I stumbled by pure chance about an article describing the differences between the two words, I'm wondering what people thought about my word choice. Did they think I was just bad at English? Did they think I was uncomfortable with the topic as a whole? Did they think I might try to hide that their opinion about equality was different from my own? Did I ever say anything horribly offensive without being aware of it because I was trying to not use the word "race"?

I never asked anyone about it, either. I'm also still often feeling uncomfortable using the word "race", but I think I've gotten better in expressing myself.

There is a similar problem with "racism". There is a word for it in my language in this case. And again, it sounds very similar. Just as race and racism have the same linguistical root, the two similar sounding words in my language have the same roots as well. And still in the case of racism, the word in my language actually has the same meaning.

But here is the problem: English also has the word "bigotry" and my language uses the similar word to racism with both the meaning of racism and the meaning of bigotry depending on the context. That's also something I didn't know for a long time until a friend once said there was a difference between racism and bigotry and I went to look it up because from the translation into my language I thought them to be synonyms.

Those are things I learned because I was actively participating in conversations about racism in English speaking spaces and exposed to those words. But it took me years to learn it, long after I considered myself mostly fluid in English. I honestly don't know how I should have come into that topic and known that there were these kinds of very subtle differences I needed to learn about.

It's a lesson that stayed with me in a very permanent way. It's a realization I won't forget for the rest of my life, I believe. Every time I talk to a person who hasn't grown up with the same first language as me, I am very aware of this lesson. And I try to use that lesson in every single of these conversations, though especially when emotions run high that's not always working.

Maybe sharing this lesson will be enough to raise awareness for the ongoing language barrier between non-native speakers of any language no matter how well the foreign language is spoken. Maybe my experience can teach others to be gentler in all their conversations and in how they react to things that appear to be rude at first.

There has been a lot of talk about teaching and learning. Two years ago, and now again. And I believe with my full heart that nothing that was said from the people behind the call out posts to the artist was teaching at all. I my opinion, it wasn't even an attempt of teaching. The following are my thoughts as a teacher in a family of teachers. (I have a wealth of sources, but I really don't care to put the work into finding the English version of it to provide them for you. Please do your own research.)

Teaching is about exchange, about talking freely, about asking questions from both sides and discussing the answers to those question. And maybe sometimes even about not answering the questions but letting the student discover that answer on their own. Teaching is about respect, and about giving room to grow, and about working with the student instead of against them.

A student has to be able to ask questions, to voice their thoughts and opinions without fear. Without fear of being ridiculed, of being lectured, of being punished, of being abused verbally or physically.

Student and teacher both have to have room to make mistakes, to backtrack their steps, to even lose progress. In an ideal situation, the teacher learns just as much about the student as the student learns about the subject. 

The teacher learns how their student thinks and processes input, they learn how their student learns and how they talk and hold their body if they are sure or unsure of something. The teacher finds new ways to explain something when every other explanation that helped other students fails. A teacher takes on the responsibility to stay calm and understanding, no matter how often their student fails.

If you don't give a student this freedom of fear, if the teacher can't muster that patience with their students, you end up in a situation where no one learns anything. If the teacher expects the students to just take everything they lecture about, to never question it, to never discuss it without using the exact same phrases they taught it in, what you are ending up in is a dictatorship. A place where some leader tells everyone else exactly what they are allowed to think and feel and say. And everyone who steps out of that approved way to think and feel and talk will be perceived as a danger and be punished. It will create an atmosphere of general fear.

You don't teach people by shaming them and attacking them. That will only make them hate you and believe your cause to be faulty if not outright wrong by default. You teach them by keeping an open mind yourself, by listening to them as much as you expect them to listen to you, by not finding the most horribly way to understand their words but by giving them the benefit of the doubt, by admitting that you can be wrong, too, and by taking responsibility if you are wrong.

There are so many places, so many topics where people are hurt, where people have to fight every day for their basic rights. You aren't making the world a better place by bringing more violence into it, no matter how much you claim to have good intentions.

[centrally-unplanned]

While we are talking about tumblr design, recently I decided to give the 'other' ways of interacting with a tumblr a shot out of curiosity. I followed a few tags, something I had never done before (being from the era where one found blogs to follow much more organically). You would expect this to work the way the UI tells you, right?

If I click the following tab I get the blogs I follow, if I click Your Tags I get the tags I follow. This is clear and useful, I like this usability and found following tags to be nice, and would follow more.

...Except that isn't entirely how it works. Now that I am following some tags, under the "following" tab, aka my main feed, I sometimes get this:

Semi-randomly interspersed into my feed are blogs I do not follow that use the tag. From my research I cannot disable this feature.

I of course would never choose this method, but you could imagine a system where there is only one tab, "my dash", and that mixes in blogs you follow, tags you follow, etc. It would be logical, even if too opaque for me. But that isn't what tumblr's UI tells me - it separates them out! It tells me I have a place for my tags, and a place for my followed blogs - but that is a lie, one of those tabs is for both actually, deal with it.

What makes this worse is that the tags-on-your-feed are not some chronological-first, integrated-into-your-follower-feed defined system. It seems to just sort-of randomly choose a recent post with the tag...irrespective of other recently chosen posts. Which means I see the *same posts* over and over again if they get randomly chosen. From what I can tell, the more niche the tag & the less activity it has, the more likely you are to just get spammed with endlessly looping posts. It has no memory of what posts you have seen.

This last part is one of those 'there is no excuse for this' moments. I roll my eyes at the messy blurring of tabs but am not surprised; I refuse to believe that spamming the same post at you was an intentional design choice. Tumblr can and should worry about ways to onboard new entrants, diversify options beyond the feed, create discoverability, etc. But IMO they can start with basic functionality that has been rotting for years. Make following a tag something I wont regret! That is my challenge to you.

[levichouphys]

A Tumblr Essay in Response to Youtuber Aldone’s Video Essay Titled “Why Elsa IS A Bad Character”

This is the first time in forever I use anti-tags in this blog, but I have to protect myself. To be fair, this is Tumblr and you have full freedom to block me after reading this post, so bear with me.

And I will close the comment session for this one because I imagine I would be exhausted to deal with it in this particular post. Forgive me for my cowardness.

 Caveat:

Trigger warning: This post has mentioned misogyny, mental illness, and cyberbullying.

I should first explain my relationship with Frozen franchises. When Frozen was out, I was a little 13~14 gremlin. I seldom went to theatre for a movie in my entire life, and I am still the same now. In the 23 years of my life, I have ever gone to a movie theatre three times. Every other movie I watch is from DVD renting stores or Disney Plus. Therefore, when I watched Frozen 1, it was when our music teacher in the high school decided to play the film in the class as Frozen 1 was a musical (so it qualifies as teaching material in a music class I guess).

I am a cis woman who once succumbed to 1990s feminism—I refused to have anything to do with feminine qualities as I’ve never learned make-up and dress-up. So Frozen actually resonated with a part of me that I had never thought existed—I saw the girl who wished to be seen as more powerful and tougher in the characterization of Elsa in Frozen 1. But at the same time, the influence of 1990s feminism in me told me that I should feel ashamed for liking Frozen 1. I refused to tell anyone (including my family) that I love Frozen, except my closest friend in the high school.

Once, I had to confess to my younger sister because she found me drawing Elsa fanart. I confessed: “I love Frozen, yes. Your super masculine-looking sister loves Frozen. Could you let me be and don’t tell my Mom? I can’t deal with how she would think of me if she knows I love Frozen.”

I love Frozen. I love Frozen Fever. Olaf's Frozen Adventure is mostly repetitive for me but I still feel the warmth when the sisters sing “When We’re Together.” I understand there are flaws in these films, but hey, I have a fun time watching those films, and they would be a big part of my teenage years.

But I don’t like Frozen 2. I personally disagree with many of the creative choices in this film, which I don’t think I would go too much into in this post. But just so you know: I am an Asian and I once wrote Frozen fanfiction and did prompts occasionally on the Internet platform in my own country. Once my criticism of Frozen 2 was known by the Frozen fans in the Internet community in my country, I was cyber bullied to the point of depression and despair.

That is my story about my relationship with Frozen franchise. I believe Youtuber Aldone has his story of his…somewhat love-hate relationship with Frozen franchise told again and again in his video. (Yeah today I’m going to express my personal opinions on this video essay)

 Aldone, if you are reading this, I would like to say that the purpose of writing this post is not out of mean spirit or hatred against you. It is me doing the thing I am more familiar with—writing, to express my thoughts on your several points in this video. I think we can agree to disagree, it’s the purpose of a conversation even though we have never met. I appreciate your effort to put the original video together, as I understand how much work it takes to make a video because I have edited crappy videos for my school projects before.

But I am here just to provide my opinions, nothing more, nothing less. Perhaps by doing so, I can finally have more peace with a part of me that was once obsessed with this franchise. I could finally be free from the prison of this obsession.

And to anyone who cyberbullies Aldone after reading my post, I just want to say: fuck off from my lawn and you are the worst.

Then shall we begin?

 Pardon me for not quoting Aldone’s original video quote-by-quote. I would write this in bullet points, but I would simply the arguments Aldone attempted to make rather than quoting them with composing a Tumblr post purpose

  1. Aldone: “Elsa’s parents are the worst royal parents in Disneyverse, they were portrayed in a positive light, but everything they did as parents were horrible to Elsa. The issue is the film never made it clear that Elsa’s parents were bad parents.”

My counterpoints: The thing with parenting, imo, is you can love your children but still fuck up the parenting. You can love your children but still gaslight them subconsciously so they will learn better, even if you mean no ill will. Their parents’ flaw was that they didn’t know how to confront Elsa’s emotions after the Anna incident. If Frozen 1 tried to flat-out portray Elsa’s parents as characters like Mother Gothel, manipulating Elsa just for their personal gain, then honestly I would be disappointed. It would not necessarily be a bad story, per se, but how I view Elsa’s parents is: they tried their best to protect Elsa, but they messed up.

 “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” for me, it’s a heart-wrenching experience as I feel bad for both Anna and Elsa. Parents served as a purpose to fuel Elsa’s fear further, rather than being a pair of good parents.

The thing about this world is that love is not enough for salvation sometimes. And love sometimes is poison. I don’t agree with the view that there’s “fake love/just obsession” and “true love.” Love is a fact, love is an emotion, but love sometimes will not necessarily make you a better person.

 But I gotta say, as a fellow who dislikes Frozen 2, I agree it makes no sense in retrospect considering Iduna had some experience with magical spirits so I am mainly talking about Frozen 1 here.

  2. Aldone: “’ For the first time forever’ is good until Hans ruined it because upon re-watching, we know Hans was the true villain. So the contrast between Anna and Elsa in this song is weakened. This song is supposed to be about the hero vs. the villain. (Aldone did not say this in this bracket, but I guess he wanted something like ‘Out There’ in Hunchback of Notre Dame from ‘For the First Time in Forever.’)”

My counterpoints: I am sorry, Aldone. But pardon me for being blunt: I think you grapple with the idea of “Elsa was supposed to be the main villain in the first draft” too much, to the point that you couldn’t see what Frozen is now as an end product on its own.

Yes, I admit it is always interesting and important to understand the creators’ intentions. But sometimes, I would choose to embrace “The Death of the Author” more to free my expectations from those interviews from the creators.

 So what’s my point here? My view on “For the First Time Forever” is: This is a song about fear, the very core theme of this film. It is not about good and evil, but it is about how two sisters deal with their fear. Now, you might ask “Well, it is obvious for Elsa, but what do you mean on Anna’s end?” Anna was isolated by her sister without understanding the reasons, her fear was: what if the coronation party couldn’t solve her isolation?

 I know it all ends tomorrow

So it has to be today

'Cause for the first time in forever

For the first time in forever

Nothing's in my way! (Anna’s verses from “For The First Time in Forever”)

 While I personally don’t agree with the choice to make Hans the twisted villain, I do not agree that Hans ruined the song. The contrast between Anna and Elsa in this song still works even if Hans exists, because, for me, Hans’ problems have nothing to do with the brilliant writing in this song and the reprise.

  3. Aldone: “’ Let It Go’ is bad for character development because it sends a bad message. It looked like woman empowerment but felt flat because when Elsa built the castle, she didn’t face the consequences of her actions.”

 My counterpoint: I think a comment under Aldone’s original video said it better than me: “Let It Go” is about Elsa being a hypocrite.

Yes. And I mean it. Elsa was hypocritical in this song. She sang about being free and could use her power in her will, but she chose to close the gate (of the balcony) right in the face of the audience. She was blinded by her desire to be free from her lifelong fear, but she didn’t realize her ice castle was just another prison for herself because her mind was never free from her fear for real. I feel like I am not reading too much in that particular frame of closing the gate right in the audience’s faces??? I just feel like…the metaphor ain’t that subtle???

Well, people always told me that I read too much in everything. I guess that’s how I function as a human being named Levi.

 “Let It Go” was unfortunately framed as woman empowerment because of its fame. Let me say this: If you really have ever watched AMC’s “Breaking Bad,” you would understand the scene when Walter White said “I AM NOT IN THE DANGER, SKYLAR—I AM THE DANGER” is one of the most pathetic moments of the character of Walter, rather than how mainstream critics interpreted as “badass.”

Now, you could say “But this song was supposed to be a villain song! They ruined this song by making Elsa not the villain in this film!” Then pardon me for being a broken record: Embrace The Death of the Author. The song was not ruined, the misinterpretation of the mass did.

 Finally, I just would like to add something to “she didn’t face the consequences of her actions.” I think: “For the First Time in Forever (Reprise)” is her consequence. You could argue that this consequence was far from enough, therefore, Elsa never learned from her mistake.

I would like to remind you that feeling guilty doesn’t necessarily make a human being a good person. Oppenheimer was crushed by his crippling guilt after WW2, did that make him a good guy?

Elsa felt the guilt, that was her consequence, and yes, she tried to run away from it, but that made her human. The inability to face her fear was her major character flaw.

But dear Aldone, pardon me but: Having character flaws doesn’t make a character badly written.

  4. Aldone: “We don't know what is Elsa thinking that much in the course of the film. (He implied that just seeing how her magic respond to her emotions felt flat in term of characterization) She was too passive in Frozen 1.”

My counterpoint: A character does not necessarily need to be proactive/having their own agency to be compelling. Elsa’s battle in Frozen 1 is her battle within her fragile heart. I understand Elsa felt more like a tragic character belonging to a Greek myth than a main hero/heroine in a Disney film, but to me, personally, that is her charm at least in the first film.

Sorry, this one I only have my own opinions to say rather than delivering anything else more elaborating.

  5. Aldone: “It felt forced that Elsa was brought back to Arendelle rather than realising her mistakes on her own. It’s nonsensical for Elsa to escape the whole kingdom after realising the horror consequence of her actions.”

My counterpoint: She was dealing with trauma just evoked by the confrontation with Anna—She just literally re-created the horror haunted in her imagination after the incident in her childhood, I personally think it’s unfair to expect her to react rationally at this scene.

  6. Aldone: “Hans' existence ruins Elsa's character arc as well because Elsa is now forced into a hero character which she was never meant to be. She has never faced her consequence.”

My counterpoint: I understand where you came from. But I wouldn’t call Elsa a hero/heroine. I would call her an interesting character, as I have no interest in classifying them into heroes or villains.

I would say: blame the masses for misinterpreting “Let It Go.”

I am sorry for sounding so irresponsible of my own claim in this particular session.

  7. Everything in the Frozen 2 session.

My response: I fully agree other than I think Elsa’s character was handled WAY WORSE than her in Frozen 1 personally. But it would require another long post. I have severe PTSD response to watching anything related to Frozen 2 because it evokes memories related to the cyberbullying against me in my country during its release. So no. I do not wish to explain why I personally dislike Frozen 2 on this site at least any time soon. And I do not wish to have anything to do with #BringElsaHome. I dislike it for its plot and character development.

 Please forgive my cowardness.

  8. So Levi, are you saying Frozen 1 is Pogger, and Elsa is a good character?

My answer: Elsa in my opinion, is relatable and compelling, as a woman whose major flaw was her need to escape her fear, but never realized that such desire would worsen her fear. She is by no means a bad person, but neither is she a pure-of-heart innocent cinnamon roll. I love her as what she was in Frozen 1 and her character is one of the most interesting for me in the Disney animation movies. And I am sorry, I tried my best, but I dislike Frozen 2 personally.

Elsa’s story in Frozen 1 was not about her personal growth, but rather about how such a powerful (magically) woman needs something with human warmth in order to have a chance for her salvation.

 You might ask: Does such a “terrible(TM)” person like Elsa deserve salvation even to begin with? My response would be: In my opinion, characters respond to the situations around them with their own blind spots and their limited information like each of us is in the real world. Elsa, in my opinion, at least in Frozen 1, had tried her best despite all her faults. And that to me, earned her a shot for salvation, which was Anna.

And I love Anna as a character. But I just love flawed characters more when I consume fictional stories.

I understand why Elsa’s character arc didn’t resonate well with other people, and I respect their opinions, as everyone can have their opinions.

  Finally, I just wish to write some words, and immense myself in my own words so I could reflect on myself more. The fact that I love Frozen and I can’t change my own opinions has plagued me for a long while. I know the fault is mine, and I am currently trying my best to improve my self-esteem.

At the end of the day, let me quote this from Breaking Bad to explain the essence of this whole long post:

“I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And I was really, I was ALIVE.”

 LeviChou out.

[archaeocommunologist]

"If you're not having fun, you're free to disengage. It's really, truly, no skin off my nose."

we could spend all day picking apart the fundamental problems with your assertions and arguments regarding the actual issue (as if you were ever willing to engage in a good faith discussion with someone who is, in fact, pro-Palestine) but honestly? i think this post of yours really encapsulates the actual "quiet part" with you.

you went from rape threats, stalking, and very rabid & violent forms of exclusionary rhetoric (which as far as i can tell you might still be engaging in) to this, here, now. you apologized for the rape threats/stalking and claim to have stopped. i am normally someone who genuinely believes in redemption and hates when past, apologized-for actions are hung over someone's head indefinitely. the problem is that you didn't just need to apologize; you needed to mean it. you needed to actually, truly examine the source of this disturbing, vicious rage and do some very serious deprogramming. and you BEYOND needed to step away from the harassment.

it is just not healthy that you can't stand up for something without suicide-baiting or tagging a call of "kill [x]" or insulting/baiting (for the record, i'm talking about the way you stole phrasing from the people you're attacking, too).

i am very passionately pro-Palestine and I'm sorry, but your absolute refusal to believe that spending our efforts humanely & strategically is a good thing, that it's better to avoid spreading misinformation, that Nazis are sometimes latching onto solidarity with Palestine to spread their poison, and that "Zionist" (more specifically "Zionist Occupied Government" but yes, sometimes just "Zionist") can be a Nazi dog whistle, is just batshit. none of those truths are in any way talking points against Palestinian liberation. The truth is just nuanced.

Of course you "find these liberal 'I’m-not-a-Zionist-but' American Jews' more despicable than the out-and-out settlers." They are accessible to you. Of course an American Jew questioning the best way to stop this genocide and liberate Palestine in the most humane way possible is, to you, worse than actual war criminals, rapists, and mass-murderers. They speak English just like you, have blogs on this platform, taggable usernames, and inboxes. They are a "great evil" YOU, personally, can hurt.

"If you're not having fun, feel free to disengage." What a sad thing this was to read. It all really is "fun" for you, isn't it? To you, "disengage" means surrender, surrender means you win, and that's what's actually important to you here, just like it always is every time you repeat this ghoulish cycle. You need to literally print out some of the shit you've written & done, take it to a good therapist, and have them help you do some serious self-examination and growth.

First off, I wanted to thank you for this message. Despite what people say about me, I really appreciate this kind of feedback and I am very open to conversation and criticism. That said, the fact that you are an anonymous and hostile stranger does undermine what you're saying. Also, the fact that I am open to criticism doesn't mean I value all of it. Like it says in the Big Book, we grovel before no one, and that includes you.

Second: I don't think you understand that this is a two-way conversation, that I have my own perspective, and that I am under no obligation to accept your framing of events. I know exactly where that "disturbing, vicious rage" came from: the multi-year harassment campaign I was subjected to, first by radfems and later by a loose group of (mostly) women on Tumblr. I was sent death threats, rape threats, and suicide bait. I was told that I deserved the sexual assault I've experienced. I was denigrated in every conceivable way, compared to a plague rat and a rabid dog. I was told over and over again that everyone I know would be happier if I were dead, and that I was a dangerous threat to everyone around me.

So forgive me if I'm not interested in whatever "deprogramming" you think is appropriate. If you're still confused as to why I was angry, and why I lashed out the way I did, you are welcome to review my old blog at sobercommunist.tumblr.com.

Third: If you're going to assume I'm a liar, you should expect the same in return. I don't believe that you "genuinely believe in redemption," with me as an unfortunate and grotesque exception. I don't believe that you are "passionately pro-Palestine" either. You've even misrepresented my positions in this ask, whether intentionally or not: I never said that "Zionist" couldn't be a Nazi dogwhistle, nor have I ever supported spreading misinformation.

Finally: when I wrote "settlers," I meant something more like "settlers and the Zionists who support them." The latter definitely speak English and have blogs on this platform, because they're in tributary's notes.

Hope this was helpful! Have fun out there.

[biboybuckley]

First Ten Lines Game

Rules: Post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

this is so fun thank you for the tag @buddiefication!! i have 34 works and 22 of those are 9-1-1 fics, so here’s the last 10! (not including my collection of tumblr ficlets)

1. i need somebody to pull me out of this grave

Buck!

He didn’t know yet. He didn’t know that Buck was already dead, that yelling wouldn’t do any good. The first shout cracked open something in his chest, spilling poison into his veins. It didn’t matter that he was injured too- he was moving. Buck wasn’t. Buck wasn’t moving.

2. lying to ourselves, acting like we're something else

Okay. Here’s the thing. Buck likes sex. It’s fun. He likes how it feels, he likes making other people feel good. He likes sex. He’s pretty good at sex, if his partner’s praises are to be believed. He doesn’t like it when things get complicated. So he tends toward casual hookups, one time things that he never has to deal with again. Except… okay. He’s good at sex. The aftermath? Not so much. 

3. all the pain i should have saved

Eddie thought Buck was canceling on them. The clock hits 5:55 and he hasn’t heard from Buck. He was supposed to get here around 6, sure, but Buck has never, ever , not been early for a family dinner. Ever . He usually texts Eddie when he’s heading over, but there’s been nothing. Not a text, not a call, not the familiar sound of the jeep pulling into Eddie’s driveway and Buck’s warm voice calling out as he lets himself in. 

4. crashing, i'm crashing right into you 

Buck planned on telling Eddie. Really, he did.  He was sitting in front of Conner and Kameron and hoping his smile looked real and thinking what am I gonna tell Eddie ? And then he was at the station a few days later and Hen was watching him and Eddie was venting about Chris and it became more about how can he possibly tell this to Eddie?

5. this is my family- it’s little and broken but still good

It starts with a movie night.

It’s not anything abnormal- Christopher tucked between Eddie and Buck while some Disney movie plays on the TV and Eddie tries to force himself to watch the screen rather than Buck and his son. He usually gives up before the movie is halfway done and allows himself the small luxury of simply watching as his son drifts further from him and curls deeper into Buck’s side.

6. make me a promise, tell me you'll stay 

If Eddie never sees Buck in another hospital bed again, it’ll be too soon.

He’s getting really, really sick of it, actually. Of riding in the back of the firetruck because Buck refuses to take an ambulance that “someone else might really need and, anyway, I’m fine .” Of Bobby’s hand on his shoulder, holding him back as the doctors take Buck away to do a more thorough exam, despite his protests of “ really , I’m fine , Hen and Chim already- Bobby, would you tell them I’m fine? Eddie, c’mon I don’t- guys , this is just unnecessary, seriously!” Of waiting to find out that this is the time. The time that Buck inhaled too much smoke, that he hit his head too hard, that his injuries from the fire truck had regressed.

7. can you hear me screaming (please don't leave me)

Eddie’s world shatters the moment Evan Buckley’s heart stops.

He’s standing just a few feet away, at the door to Evan’s hospital room, fist poised to knock on the door. He stands frozen as he watches the other nurses swarm around the bed, unable to move even as the doctors shove past him. There’s frantic chatter all around him, orders being shouted, instructions flying around the room. No one spares him a glance- he’s off shift. The voices fade to white noise, the only sound Eddie can hear is the monotonous beep of a flatline.

8. been here all along so, why can't you see?

Eddie doesn’t care that Buck’s dating other people. Really, he doesn’t. He’s proud of Buck for coming out and happy that he’s finally exploring what makes him happy. It just. It’s just. Buck apparently has really, really shitty taste. Like his taste in guys is somehow even worse than his taste in girls.

So, really, it’s not that Buck is dating someone that’s Not Eddie, it’s that he’s dating people that Eddie wants to punch in the face. That’s all. Because Eddie’s worried about Buck getting hurt. That’s it.

9. nothing the matter with a kiss

Eddie really has to learn to not drink when he’s with Buck. Purely because, well, when Eddie drinks it suddenly gets very, very difficult not to kiss Buck. Like, okay, it’s not that Buck’s like irresistible or anything- Eddie has some modicum of self control. But a few rounds in, when Buck’s eyes are sparkling with inebriation and he has the rose blush of being tipsy and his lips are pinker than normal, it’s suddenly extremely difficult for Eddie to look away. 

10. take my voice, i'm giving it though i don't feel safe at all

Buck can’t name this. He has no way to identify the thing that chokes him, that curls around his heart and squeezes , that floods his lungs and lies bitter on his tongue, that fogs his mind, that winds through his veins. He can’t name the beast anymore than he can name what releases it. It’s- simply put, sometimes the dam breaks. The walls he has carefully built up, the ones that hold the nameless monster at bay, they come crashing down. And they bring Buck with them. 

tagging @swiftiebuckleys @ajunerose and anyone else who wants to do this!

[thecoffeelorian]

The Bad Batch: Burn

Title/Series:  Burn/”The New Aftermath” Category: General Word Count: 2,181 AO3:  Link Here Summary:   A tale in which two family members are rescued; one believes themselves to have been abandoned by everyone; four more find themselves at a loss; and the sixth refuses to stand by a moment longer. Inspired by 1x08; various Tumblr posts; and a few narrative promises that the writers seem to have forgotten. Special Tags: @omegathebadbach​

Burn

There's someone new in the medical center today. A very important someone, or so I guess to myself as soon as I hear shouting and running toward the tents. I look up slowly not knowing what to expect, only to see exactly four flashes of red, white, and black rushing at the incoming ship. I start rushing in after them, too, because there's only one reason Hunter would start yelling into his comm like that.

He's coming.

He's coming, and they're bringing him to us. Some more rogue clones who got freed of their chips and who managed to break in and out of Kamino before things got too hot, or so the voices over the lines tell me. I don't need to hear any more than that, though. None of us do. We just know that he's here, and that we need to see him. We're going to see him, and maybe we can also--

"--Stand back! Move away, this one's a security risk!"

What...?

A risk?

No, no, that can't be right. They remembered to take the inhibitor chip out first, didn't they...?

Someone begins forcing us out of the path of the stretcher with a sweep of their arm, Wrecker protests, and three more medics start pushing us all back. They're even setting up barriers now, one on each side leading to the nearest tent. What's going on? Why can't we go to him?

"Hunter...?!"

He doesn't have any answers for me. None of my brothers do. We can only watch in a horrified silence as we finally see him, and--oh no, what's happened? Is it gone? Or do they have to get it out right here instead...?

I don't have much time to look, but I think I see that little white bandage against his brown, weathered skin as they rush past us. I think someone's finally taken it out, which is really, really great, but--but that's not all that I see. That we see.

He's bandaged in at least three places, there's signs of broken bones, and--and we can't see much more than that, but I think we can already guess what happened after we saw each other last. After half of us almost died.

It's so much worse than we thought, and something tells me this is just the beginning.

......

They make us wait outside the tent for what feels like hours, but once the medics give us the go-ahead, we don't waste any time going inside. I don't waste any time, because there's so much I want to tell him, and I'm almost running to his bedside, and there's a big lump of feelings that want to make me hurt from the inside out if I don't decide to share them. Wrecker's got my right hand, Hunter's got my left, and Tech and Echo lead the way just in case anyone needs them to pitch in. A part of me hopes that they don't have to...but then again, none of us knows what we'll be seeing in there. We'll just have to be ready, no matter what.

"Cross...? Are you awake?"

Hunter's the first to speak up, a soft question sent out to try and get this reunion going. He's been worried about everyone lately, so the fact that we're all out of the Empire's reach--at least at this moment--must have brought him some relief. I squeeze his hand just a little to reassure us both that nothing bad will happen here. That we can talk this out a lot better than last time, that there won't be any more fighting, and that we can help Crosshair start to get better.

When I lean in a bit closer to try and see his face, though...that's when the smells come. There's the metallic smell of blood and the smoky smell of burns and--oh no, are those the IV drips...? He's hurting. He's hurting so very much, and I can't see his face because he's in a darker corner of the tent, and I really wish I could--

"...Don't act so damned pleased with yourselves."

Oh, no...

His words burn my skin just like the heat of that engine. He knows that I'm here, that I'm standing close by, and that he hates every single minute of it. It takes almost all of my nerve to try and talk back, but just the same, my voice shakes.

"C...Crosshair...?"

One second later, he lets out the coldest laugh I ever heard, and the burning turns to ice.

"So, you do remember me. How comforting..."

Oh, but he's testing me somehow. I can tell by the edge to his voice, and the way he's got to be facing the canvas even though I can't see that much of him. Is he angry at me? Or is he just using me to get to Hunter...? I can't tell. It scares me that I can't tell.

"Do you remember me, though...?"

Just the same, I try. I already know that he's sedated from the color of the drips, so any movements he makes will be a bit slower than normal. I also know that there's one restraint peeking out of the shadows on his right-hand side, so he can't attack. And third...there's no way that anyone else in this camp would let him pick up a weapon just yet. Not when we don't know how he would plan on using it.

"Do you remember how I tried to help you? Or am I another traitor, just like our brother said--"

"Don't. Say. His. Name..."

There's more ice from him, only this time, it feels like it's crumbling down on me from above. He doesn't like how close I've gotten to Wrecker. He might even feel a little, well...jealous of me. At least, that's what this sounds like.

"Why not?!"

Wrecker's not about to take this from him, though, because he's not afraid to take a step closer. I'm going to get a little closer, too, if only to try and keep up with him.

"I'm right here, same as you. I lost myself t' that chip, same as you--"

"--Don't say it, Wrecker--"

"--So what's with the bad mood? You're not the only one here who's had problems--"

"--Shut up, Wrecker--"

"--And you can quit pickin' on the kid, too, she's not the reason you're here--"

"--'Not the reason I'm here'?!"

That's the moment where, no matter how much he's sedated, Crosshair lets his anger down on us like his own brand of explosives...and all five of us flinch.

"You go off on your little joyride around all three Rims, you take her with you and you don't bother looking for me, and now...now you tell me, 'she's not the reason I'm here'?"

More cold laughter from his corner spreads through the entire tent, and we're all feeling its chill. Nobody else dares to speak up. Nobody knows how to...and even if we could, I don't know what in the galaxy we could say that would heal this hurt.

Unfortunately, it sounds like Crosshair's finally done with listening.

"Well...you take a nice, long look at what she's done, and see how much you like her then...! "

He's not done talking to us just yet, though, because the next thing we see--

--Oh no, oh no, oh no no no--

--is the sight of his eyes, once a dark shade of bronze, but they've been burned out--

“--Wrecker, get her out of here, it's too soon--”

--Burned out to a bright chrome, not focusing, not seeing a single thing--

“--ARE YOU PROUD OF HER NOW--”

--and suddenly, there's a lot of screaming and the medics are running back in and--

“--ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELVES? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? TO GET RID OF ME AND PUT HER IN MY PLACE?!"

-- Hunter and Wrecker are taking me out of there and I don't know what to do--

“--LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! WHAT YOU'VE ALL DONE TO ME!"

--I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do--

"RUN AWAY, DAR'VODE! RUN AWAY! RUN LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!"

--Except hide.

We go off together to hide until his rage finally breaks...but not without hearing all of his curses echo in our minds. Not without feeling the burning go on long after we've walked out of the fire's path.

Run away, dar'vode.

Run away.

Run like you always do.

I hate not knowing how to help.

......

It goes on for about ten minutes more, the howls and curses of a broken man who believes he's got nowhere else to go but down, down into the pit of his own misery with no way of getting out again.

I don't know if he knows that Tech and Echo are still right there with him, desperately trying to get through his walls any way they can...or if he does know they're still there, and just doesn't feel like caring any more. That they're as good as dead to him, if not also the other way around.

I don't know what they must be thinking when the screaming ends, or how they're feeling after it's all over. I don't know if Crosshair pulled out of his restraints, or if they just had to tighten them a bit more. I don't know what to say to Wrecker or Hunter to get them to smile again, or how to keep myself from tearing up. I just know that it's ugly, and that his screaming sputters down into laughing and crying, and that my hands are shaking when there's finally quiet. Everyone else must be shaking on the inside, too, because I see the way they glance at each other when they're all out of the tent.

They hate everything about the Empire now, and I'm right there with them.

I also know that as of five minutes ago, we're lost.

We're stranded on a planet that we might not ever get to leave, because others will be looking for us no matter what.

We still don't have a single credit to our names, and there's probably no more hope of work since we failed our last two missions.

We can't even seem to get along with each other any more, because outside of Crosshair's rage, nobody knows how to find any hope coming from this. Echo won't even look at Hunter any more, Tech looks like he's planning an Imperial murder, Wrecker's about to break down any second, and Hunter himself...oh no, he looks like he wishes it had been him who was taken first, and not Crosshair at all. Maybe...maybe he's thinking of trying to undo everything that happened all on his own, if only to fix things for everyone else with himself as the price paid.

Maybe if the rest of us aren't careful enough in the next few days, he just might try and turn himself in to the Empire if it means saving the rest of this squad. Saving all of his family this time, even if he couldn't do it before. I can guess this from the pained look in his eyes, and I don't like the thought of what this could mean for everyone else.

For good or for bad, I don't think I can just keep standing by and watch my squad hurting like this. Not the ones who have already helped me so much, but also not the one I should have helped twice as much, but didn't. I know this now, even if it took me some time to figure it out. I might not have been the one who forced him to attack his family, but if I don't tell him what I heard before I was also taken off Kamino--that my rescue team was the same one who took him out of harm's way, even if they did have to split into two teams to do it--then I'll be the one who refused to help end this. I'll become the one who stayed silent, and allowed him to hate his squad for the rest of his life...but only if I don't speak up, and fast.

This is exactly what I need to do to fix this, if not to fix the others' problems as well.

So, Crosshair...when we talk again in your tent--and there will be talking, whether you want to hear me out or not--you're going to learn the truth. You're going to know how your brothers really feel about you, how we always planned on getting you out when it was safe enough, and that nobody, nobody, planned to throw you away for my sake.

And once you've listened to me enough--really, really listened--I hope you can find a way to calm that burning fire inside you.

Clone Scout Omega, 19 BBY

[hyperfixation-hideout]

Do you remember sending me an anonymous ask telling me to stop tagging RWDE in my posts because you were upset?

You sent me anonymous asks twice, defending RWDE.

Now tell me...why on earth are you accusing other people of sending anonymous hateful asks to themselves, when you have literally sent anonymous asks to the very people you are accusing?

Do you even hear the cognitive dissonance in this?

Do you want proof of the first time I was impersonated?

I can provide not only a Twitter Link, but a Tumblr post. Where the person who accused me later acknowledged that it was an imposter.

Or you can embrace tunnel vision and think that any time you've sent me or somebody else an anonymous ask, that person was sending them to themselves and it was never you?

If you believe anything about somebody you don't like, then you will fall for everything.

Now my friends and I are working on building up evidence to prove my innocence. that person already accused them of being me.

But then again, you refuse to believe that anyone would defend us. That bias of yours is why you are so deadset on believing the worst of others.

Drop the tunnel vision. Drop the hyperfixation on the bias. And start trying to see if impersonation is possible.

I'm going to try find a way to prove how those discord screenshots were doctored.

uh, no, I do not remember that. If this is Canonseeker talking,

A) everything I said to you was off anon

B) I didn't tell you to stop tagging rwde, I made a generic post saying that posts tagged "anti rwde" still show up in the rwde tag, making it so the tag is flushed with hate, when it was created to avoid hatred and vitriol from people like you who harass anyone with a different opinion, as well as me letting y'all know if you tag with "anti rwde" instead of "antirwde" then rwde folks will see your posts and you may not have wanted that

C) come off anon yourself

D) Uh did you mess up that last sentence? Cause yes, your discord screenshots were absolutely doctored and very obviously fake. Oh, or are you trying to "prove" the post calling you out and debunking your lies was doctored? Cause, no... you're just defaulting to your oldest tactic: when accused, respond with "no, YOU did that to ME" even though that does nothing to counter the proof already exposed about you (you also just did that when going "well someone impersonated ME so you can't accuse me of making fake accounts!")

E) you're the one who targeted me, sending yourself anon hate and tagging me in it with "THESE ARE THE PEOPLE UR DEFENDING??" when I had clearly stated several times that I did not defend hatred or harassment of any kind. You then started tagging anyone who agreed with me in this hate, even after I asked you to stop.

F) what happened to your asks/replies telling me I'm "one of the good ones" who makes "thought out and kind critiques"? What changed besides me calling you out for the harassment and bullying you've engaged in for years?

G) That's not what hyperfixation means. Look it up and learn about ADHD before throwing the term about willy-nilly, please

The only part of this ask I'd potentially be willing to take at face value is the part where you got upset for me claiming you send yourself anon hate. You're right, that's something I don't technically know. (idk why you assumed whatever anons you're referring to are me). But there have been enough instances of you clearly pretending to be someone else, including a time you've ADMITTED to having done so. Regardless, even if you didn't do so, that doesn't undo any of the awful stuff you have verifiably done. Countless people have shown evidence of your lies and hate, and I wanted to believe they were wrong, but that time of hopeful ignorance has passed.

I am an understanding person who gives the benefit of the doubt, as well as second, third, and hundredth chances. I want to see the good in everyone, including you. Time and time again you've shown that if we give an inch, you take a mile, and use our kindness to further harass anyone who dares stray from your own opinions or interpretations. And I don't mean 'harass' as in 'sending a mean anon', I mean repeated hate, slander, and block evading, making fake accounts just to continue trying to make people's lives miserable, etc. I tried to give you a chance and extend that opportunity for you to listen, grow, or change, but you won't admit any wrongdoings, and that's a nonstarter.

[If you're not seeker, I have no idea who you are, and as such do not know where to go from here. Come off anon or message me privately if you're someone else, and I'd be more than willing to have a conversation with you about this.]

PS: Something funny I've laughed about many a time -- even after all that's gone down between us (aka you being hateful and lying about me and me explaining to no avail since you refuse to read), I'm still on your list of positive rwby blogs to follow. Which is extra funny, because you linked that list in your answers to hate anons you tagged me in, going "here are some GOOD rwby blogs to follow" with me on it. As amusing as it's been, I'd like to be removed when you get the chance.

[ilaiyayaya]

I Hate Twitter So Much

Ok so now Twitter is pretty much dead to me, soooo here I am, tbh I probably should've made another account here a long time ago, Tumblr has always fit my personal preferred use of social media far better than Twitter ever has. I used to have a Tumblr years ago but that was a very long time ago, and I deleted that account precisely because I was moving to Twitter, but now that place is a hellhole so I am returned. I didn't really use Twitter very much anyways so it wasn't really much of a loss, the only social media I've really used substantially in recent years is Discord, so I'm mostly just using this as an opportunity to spread out to more platforms again instead of staying within my small bubble that I've kept to for the last 3 years.

I spent over 2 years being a NEET, during which time I pretty much didn't talk to anyone outside of 2 close friends, I effectively went silent on all social platforms, and even in online games I played I started exclusively playing solo (which tbf, I do a lot of the time even when I'm not a shut-in, but like, the reasoning for why I was doing it was different). I only got out of this period of my life when I got a job at the beginning of this year which forced me to leave my house, even now after over half a year, while I'm doing a lot better I'd still consider myself to be recovering from that period of near complete isolation. Speaking anywhere online is extremely anxiety-inducing for me and often literally makes me want to vomit after saying even the most inconsequential things, and while I've been improving in that regard it's been an extremely slow process, and to me this blog is hopefully going to be a major stepping stone into going back to how I used to be.

Really, I'm just gonna be using this the same way that most people normally use social media, which really shouldn't be that weird or special, but it is for me. Also a lot of the layout of this blog right now is not final (believe it or not, Rune Factory 3 "My mother is telling me to get a good job but my heart is telling me marry rich" screenshot is not planned to be there forever I know it's very sad), I'll slowly figure out how I want it to look over time and change it accordingly. I've already prewritten a couple of blog posts for the next couple of days that way I have no excuse not to at least post something, but after those I'll probably write most of these just on a whim whenever I feel like it, about really anything I feel like talking about.

Now let's hope the formatting on this doesn't look shit on the actual page 🙏

Also I know tags exist, I refuse to use them for this post, if someone wants to find this one they gotta search hard for it, it's like a fun little scavenger hunt and the reward is Misaka_Spin.gif!!!

[stubbornness-and-spite]

Antis refuse to accept that thousands of people don’t care about fictional characters, relationships, and fetishes. They believe everyone should care about pixels and lines on a screen. If you can separate fiction from reality, it doesn’t matter what you consume in fiction. As long as you don’t support it in real life and understand that it’s fiction then it’s alright to consume fucked up content. It’s okay if problematic fiction makes you uncomfortable but don’t assume people who enjoy it support it in real life and even commit those acts. Harassing and doxxing people for liking or not caring is awful.

I usually use mobile which has the worst ask box/notification center ever, so I'm just getting to these asks referring to my anti censorship post from last November now. In the tags of that post, I added "fiction affects reality but that's a different conversation" - based on the responses I got in my ask box and in the replies to that post, I think it might be time to start having that conversation.

This ask is one of the nicer responses to that post that had nuance to it, so I want to go through it. (Hope that's alright, Anon) We're going to start at the end for reasons.

"Harassing and doxing people for liking or not caring is awful."

Yes. Full stop. Harrassing and doxxing people is bad. Also, this is one of the few posts that I've seen defending "problematic" content without bringing up trauma. Which I like. Sometimes people just like fucked up shit. It's not always a result of trauma and demanding that people only use fucked up content to cope with trauma leads to demanding that people share their trauma on the internet, which: no.

"It’s okay if problematic fiction makes you uncomfortable but don’t assume people who enjoy it support it in real life and even commit those acts."

Not only is it okay, I'd go so far as to say it should make you uncomfortable. Personally, I absolutely love writing characters in toxic as fuck relationships (not fandom definition of toxic, toeing the line of abuse toxic). I find it fun and the discomfort gives me a little thrill. I don't condone it. I wouldn't want to be either person in the relationships that I write in this category. To me, it's like writing gore. It's fucked up and fun.

"If you can separate fiction from reality, it doesn’t matter what you consume in fiction."

Eh. Here's where we're getting into the point that I didn't put on the first post because I was making a blanket statement. Fiction affects reality. I'll say it again: Fiction. Affects. Reality.

The gay best friend, the killer lesbian, the slutty bisexual: these tropes have done real damage. The fact that they are fiction doesn't change that they planted seeds about real people into the heads of real people.

However. The phrases most commonly used in fandom spaces (don't like, don't read; ship and let ship) need to be recognized as being useful FOR FANDOM SPACES. They are products of their environment and need to (to use tumblr terminology) stay in containment. Because when you click on a fic that says "dead dove; do not eat" and then get mad at the content inside, you're not making the argument that fiction affects reality. You're just being petty. Because that one tag tells you and every other reader: the author understands/acknowledges that the content in this story is not socially acceptable and does not condone this in real life.

The places where fiction affects reality are places where fiction has an impact on cultural norms and societal opinions. When Marvel puts US military propaganda into most of their films, that affects reality. When a dude with a computer blowing off steam writes about Thor and Loki fucking, that doesn't.

When you engage with a piece of media, particularly with criticism, it's important to evaluate a few things first.

Who was this written by? What influence do they have?

Who was this written for? How will they be affected by it?

Does this encourage harm against real people or does it just make me uncomfortable?

Who will my complaint affect? Will it protect people or will it just harass an individual?

How easy is this to access? Is the author forcing people to view it or is it available for people who seek it out?

If anyone has any additional questions to add to the list, I'd love to hear them! I'd also love to discuss any additions or things that I've said. I genuinely enjoy media analysis and the way that the spaces that media inhabits change the way it can/should be interpreted. My askbox is always open and I'm pretty sure my DMs are too.

[sdwolfpup]

I posted 3,593 times in 2022

87 posts created (2%)

3,506 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined

@scoundrels-in-love

@mikkeneko

@favorite-ginger

@twelvemonkeyswere

I tagged 3,589 of my posts in 2022

#gif set - 429 posts

#video - 365 posts

#lol - 283 posts

#jaime x brienne - 259 posts

#fanart - 232 posts

#lmao - 230 posts

#f1 - 180 posts

#sebastian vettel - 151 posts

#tumblr life - 137 posts

#asoiaf - 133 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and to every otw volunteer who works hard through a lot of shit on a regular day to bring us something i now cannot imagine fandom without

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I think a lot about "morally gray Brienne" and what George's intention is with her arc, about the fandom's tendency to believe that what she has to learn is what they think Jaime will teach her, which is that she's going to have to compromise her morals and become less "pure" because that's the way the world works. That he's going to make her more cynical as a sign of growth.

I've never liked that possibility, myself. But I've never been able to actively articulate what it is I do hope Brienne learns; how I hope she'll change in George's arc without losing her innate hope and belief.

I realized today while scrolling my dash that this tumblr post is what I do actually want her growth to be. That Jaime will tell her the equivalent of this, from that post (bolded parts from the post, but relevant):

There’s something bad about everything if you dig deep enough. As long as we live in flawed human societies we’ve got to make the best of what they offer us. If you have the choice and means, please, do support those who do good, but also, don’t beat yourself up over not living up to an unattainable ideal.

No one can. You’ll just make yourself so miserable, you either burn up and stop fighting entirely or you’ll make yourself a non-productive, depressed heap just out of a bleeding heart left unchecked. You can’t make a change to this world if you refuse to engage in it.

I don't think Brienne refuses to engage in their world right now, but I do see her -- especially after whatever happens with Lady Stoneheart -- potentially shutting down because of the horror of what she feels she's forced to do, the fact that sometimes there is no good option; that sometimes the good option is doing what it takes to keep yourself going and that's okay.

I think Jaime's power is that he understands that deeply, he's just gotten so sunk in the choices he's made in multiple bad situations that he thinks there's never a good choice, and I think that's where they can meet in the middle and help each other become the best versions of themselves: she can give him the hope to fight and he can give her the strength to.

130 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#4

So am I to understand --

that this is Dracula:

247 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#3

All of Dracula was worth it for this one, sarcastic line:

I have always thought that a wild animal never looks so well as when some obstacle of pronounced durability is between us

Perfect, no notes, continue onward with great joy, Mr. Pall Mall Gazette Reporter.

412 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#2

Something something the parallels between Dracula and his three women and Lucy and her three men, all bound by the blood they've given/had taken, send post.

845 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My favorite thing about Dracula Daily Tumblr Edition is that we have all gone from "look at our good friend adorable woobie Jonathan Harker discovering spices" to "RIP HIS THROAT OUT, J-HARK, YOU'VE GOT THIS."

4,583 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thegayhimbo]

I posted 13,504 times in 2022

517 posts created (4%)

12,987 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@avanskennedy

@stillhidden

@pterawaters

@jakegyllinhaal

@mysharona1987

I tagged 13,504 of my posts in 2022

#stranger things - 4,305 posts

#male celebs - 2,544 posts

#steve harrington - 1,624 posts

#tgh opinions - 836 posts

#lulz - 636 posts

#eddie munson - 603 posts

#social issues - 588 posts

#nancy wheeler - 475 posts

#stranger things fan art - 435 posts

#el hopper - 373 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#....and she's made no secret about her disgust with the right's hypocrisy over trying to control what teachers are allowed to teach students

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I know I’m probably not the first person to point this out, but I still think it’s hilarious that the reason Steve got roped into this whole mess is because he went to Jonathan’s house to apologize for acting like an ass, nearly ended up getting killed by a monster, and later found out about the government conspiracy and the Upside-Down.

51 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

#4

Zane Phillips or Trevante Rhodes

Zane Phillips

61 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

#3

Barbara Holland, Benny Hammond, Bob Newby, Chrissy Cunninghan, Fred Benson, Terry Ives, Heather Holloway, and Patrick McKinney all deserved better!

98 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

#2

Frankly, I am not at all shocked at Joss Whedon's response. When the allegations came out against him, I expected one of two things to happen: Either he was going to stay silent and hope this all went away, or he was going to double-down on his behavior. Given the responses I've seen to his interview, he would have been better off keeping his mouth shut. That man is continuing to dig his own grave.

What disgusts me isn't just that he refuses to take responsibility for how hurtful he's been. It's how condescending and dismissive he is in that interview. It's how he takes passive-aggressive digs at the people who've spoken out against him. Claiming that he cut Cyborg's scenes in Justice League because Ray Fisher was a bad actor. Saying that Gal Gadot had misunderstood him because "English is not her first language." Blaming Zac Snyder for "tricking" Ray Fisher into believing that Whedon was racist against him. Claiming he's "one of the nicer showrunners that's ever been."

This is pretty common for bullies and abusive people: They are horrible and nasty towards others, and when they are called out for it, they either deflect responsibility, try to make it out like it's the other person's fault, or try to play the victim. Whedon had over a year since Ray Fisher's accusations to come up with a response, and this what he chose to say. That is so telling about the kind of person he is.

I have zero sympathy for Whedon. He has destroyed any goodwill at this point, and it is blatantly clear he does not practice what he preaches in regards to feminism. Here's to hoping he fades into obscurity.

118 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It’s telling that if you Google about the best redemption arcs TV characters had, both Zuko and Steve Harrington appear on most of those lists.

5,791 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lildevyl]

Tommy Innit's Secret Clinic: UPDATE

Hey, Guys, Gals, Demons, Ghouls and Multi-Fandom Fiends! I'm back but with an update instead of a theory! So, I've been meaning to post this for some time but every time I sat down, to write. Something keeps coming up or I just couldn't find the "Right Words" to write so I'm just going to Write!

I know many of you have been waiting to about Tommy Innit's Secret Clinic, and it's been almost a year since I've updated Secret Clinic. For those of you who have been patiently waiting, THANK YOU! I can't tell you how much I appreciate that! Which leads me to this. And before anyone starts to PANIC! NO, I'm not Discontinuing, Abandoning, Orphaning, or Deleting the story! I AM going to finish it!

Also, the tags that I will be using from here on out for Tommy Innit's Secret Clinic, #tommy innit's secret clinic, #TISC, #secret clinic, #Tommy Innit's Secret Clinic, #Secret Clinic, #tisc

BUT I want to address a few things first!

The Main Reason why I haven't updated at all is because I honestly haven't had the chance to! I'm back in school trying to get my degree and with things going on at work. Plus, a ton of IRL Stuff, has been popping up at the worst times! So I haven't had any time to actually sit down and write! Let alone sit down and draw any fanart!

I hit some Major Writer's Block! To the point that I actually tried NOT to write because I couldn't write anything or it was just absolute GARABE that I didn't even save in my Idea/Save For Later/Free Writing Folder. Which is another reason why it's been taking me so long!

I know all of you if not a majority of you already know what's been going on with the whole Willaim Gold (I refuse to call him by his Character/Stage Name!). And that's another major reason why it's been taking me a long ass while. YES! I know it's about the Characters NOT the Content Creators! I know that and fully believe that! Trust me! It's taken me many years to figure that out and still enjoy the Movies/Shows/Books that I love!

HOWEVER, I do have a Couple OC's that are based on a couple of Mutals of mine. I did reach out to them and they have politely and respectfully asked me to not have the Characters in the story. So, what I'm going to do is, I'm going to re-edit Tommy Innit's Secret Clinic.

Way too many Spelling/Grammer Mistakes that I'm too embarrassed and can't believe that I missed!

I'm going to re-write and change a couple of Characters.

I'm going to Repost Tommy Innit's Secret Clinic on Tumblr after done re-editing it.

With that said, if anyone would like to be tagged for the story, please let me know! Either tag me, DM me, or just drop in my inbox what user name you want me to tag!

HOWEVER IF, you are NOT Comfortable with the Character Wilbur Soot, no matter the reason. Here is a list of the tags that from here on out on all Social Media Platforms including AO3. I will be using them for the Character Wilbur Soot. If you are Uncomfortable about the Character, you are more then welcome to block the tags so as to NOT see the posts!

Tags for Character Wilbur Soot:

#c!Wilbur Soot

#c!Wilbur

#DSMP! Wilbur Soot

#DSMP! Wilbur

#L'Manbur

#L'Manburg Wilbur Soot

#L'Manburg Wilbur

#Pogtopiabur

#Pogtopia Wilbur

#Pogtopia Wilbur Soot

#Revivebur

#Revive Wilbur

#Revive Wilbur Soot

#Ghostbur

#Villain Wilbur

#Villain Wilbur Soot

#Siren!Wilbur

#Siren!Wilbur Soot

#Siren Wilbur

#Siren Wilbur Soot

#Hero!Wilbur

#Hero Wilbur Soot

#QSMP! Wilbur

#QSMP Wilbur Soot

#q! Wilbur

#q! Wilbur Soot

#QSMP Wilbur Soot

#q Wilbur

#q Wilbur Soot

#Sorry Boys Wilbur Soot

#Sorry Boys Wilbur

#Sorry Wilbur

#Sorry Wilbur Soot

Again, if you are Uncomfortable about the Character Wilbur Soot feel free to block these tags! These will be the ones that I will be using from here on out!