#tw dermatillomania mention

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Auctober 2022

I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with this all month, but I saw @autiebiographical 's post and got so excited about this, so I just had to join in however I'm able!

Stims! I love me some good hand flapping. Jumping up and down and leg bouncing are some more high-energy ones. Sometimes I'll layer my fingers over each other, one by one, and then layer them in reverse order - that's actually the first stim I remember doing!

Sometimes, when I'm trying to sleep, I'll just sort of bend my foot up and down like I'm pressing on and releasing a pedal. Still not sure what that one's about, to be honest (/pos).

Tapping my fingers in sequence sometimes drives other people a little crazy, but having a laptop where I can type and get essentially the same thing done helps with that.

Chewing is also a really good stim, but I don't have any chewelry or anything yet, and gum just doesn't work for me, unfortunately. Someday, though, I'm gonna get myself a nice chewing stick.

Granted, there are a few stims that aren't so good that I have (under the cut, content warning for self harm), but those are some of my most common ones.

Sometimes, when I'm really frustrated, I'll hit myself on my head with the heel of my palm, or I'll dig into my skin with my nails. Often, regardless of how I'm feeling, I find myself picking and pulling hairs.

When I was a kid, I also used to pick and chew and rip at my nails. I'll be honest, I'm not sure what made me stop doing that, but I'm grateful nonetheless.

I also occasionally chewed on my shirts when I was younger? I don't know why, I guess I just craved the flavor of fabric. I really have always been a chaotic little gremlin.

[kittyslashers]

boys who have The skin picking disorder when they pick at their skin non stop: oich why are my fingers raw and sore and all my scabs are open and bleeding

[sunshinecircusworld]

what happened to circus lion's ear?

It is a sentient frosted animal cookie and it regularly eats pieces of itself! Its ear is the one area I have decided to show a prominent bite mark on, other ones are healed or omitted from current artworks. It is able to reach its mouth to its ear because it is a contortionist clown who follows cartoon anatomy and physics rules so it can basically stretch and fold its body in ways u couldnt even imagine 🎪

[anti-endo-haven]

i hate haviing dermatillomania . . . . .,.,.... i pick at scars and our skin so much it bleeds and everyone just says "ew" or "dont do that" or "stop picking at your scabs" and i feel like i cant stop. its an obsessive compulsion because dermatillomania falls under the OCD spectrum. i hate it so much and i dunno what to do to stop it. i currrently have 4 scabs on my face i pick at and they make me feel really ugly but i just cant stop picking. im almost always bleeding from somewhere

-🪐🫀

Make sure to care for the wounds. If you’re able, try picking up a habit like chewing gum or making sure your hands are busy (playing games, holding something, making sure you’re constantly moving) as a means of trying to help.

I’m not entirely all sure what to say, but I hope everything eases soon.

[little-bloodied-angel]

I dunno, maybe I'm crazy, but if I had a kid with such severe body dysmorphia that it has driven them to self-harm, caused psychotic episodes where they tried to mutilate their body, and heavily influenced their chronic suicidal tendencies, and they found two harmless, non-invasive things that help alleviate it (gel nails and professionally done eyebrows, especially considering that left to their own devices they'll use the tweezers to destroy their face because they also have dermatillomania), I wouldn't deny them those things, tell them that they're going to get them and then ensure they don't, and call them a spoiled rotten brat the few times they manage to have them done, simply ask for them, or remind me that I made a promise. But like I said maybe it's just me? Everyone acts like my mother is perfect, so I must just be delusional.

Then again if I had a kid with body dysmorphic disorder and an ED, I also wouldn't constantly be making negative comments about their body, face, skin, hair, general appearance, makeup, preferred clothing or even their weight. Oh well.

(life in general and the holidays in particular are going just great, y'all)

[anawkwardlady]

Me after making my lips bleed by too much picking and having my hand covered with blood spots I have to lick : vampire moment <3

[irlbeanieboo]

forgot i was supposed to try to recover from skin picking and in all honestly i have been in a mental spot where it’s been so much harder, but i am going to keep trying regardless!! i definitely need for my skin to heal up before june begins so no more skin picking :3 i think i’m going to try to set up a reward system for myself, that’s how i got clean and into recovery for self harm :DDD

[cartoonscientist]

people tend to think that communities dedicated to watching zit popping videos are sexual in nature, and while there are definitely a few fetishists in the mix I find that they’re usually more like a methadone clinic (or the equivalent of an eating disorder forum) for skin pickers

[bookwyrminspiration]

Extraordinarily niche post here but I keep thinking about Alana's seemingly ludicrous and ridiculous "bad blood" rantings in Episode 17 and how it's such a fitting--at least for me--depiction of what dermatillomania feels like in my experience.

Hearing Alana go on and on about how there's "bad blood" in her that hurts and that she needs to get out, you can see that clearly there's something wrong because that's not a concept that's supposed to exist. Your blood isn't bad, it doesn't go bad, and that's such an arbitrary and subjective descriptor. What does "bad" mean? How is her blood bad? That's not possible, clearly something's not right

But to Alana there's something she feels, something going on under her skin that she can't stand and need to alleviate somehow because she can't live with it. She needs to get the bad blood out. She just has to. There's no alternative and no other explanation it just needs out. She's inconsolable until that happens, distraught and unreasonable because there's bad blood, bad blood, bad blood, over and over again. It's the only way she can articulate it.

And for me, with dermatillomania, my brain's reasoning follows that same line of nonsense logic. Alana's got bad blood and i've got icky things in my skin. And all I can focus on once I realize it's there is that I need to get it out, that I have to carve it out, that I have to purge it from my skin and get everything out. That same need to get it out with no alternative (at least that my brain can process in the moment)

But just like there is no "bad blood" there's no "icky thing" in my skin, that's not a real descriptor or concept that exists except to me in an amorphous concept that isn't possible. It's not a thing. Yet to my brain it is, it finds something in my skin and then it cannot let it go, it cannot stop thinking about how there's something in my skin and that I need to get it out. It needs to be alleviated and I need to purge it from my skin, to carve it out, to pick it. Even when it hurts, even when it bleeds, even when I scar.

It's nonsense and yet it's how my brain sees it, same as how Alana's brain reacts so viscerally to the "bad blood". Now, I'm not going to murder an entire children's ward over my icky skin feelings, but I haven't been able to get the comparison out of my head since I heard it.

I doubt that intention was anywhere in the writers minds, and once again, this is just my experience, so it won't be everyone's. But I saw myself in that inconsolable unreasonability, so here we are!

[mosspapi]

Bruh I have a scab that is just. Unpickable. And it's starting to piss me off. Like. I can see it, I can Feel it, it is Right There, but the second my nails or even fuckin tweezers get anywhere near it it's like it absorbs into my goddamn skin. It's the weirdest thing. I have never experienced anything like this.

[attorney-anon-offtopic]

Crisis & Pain-Seeking Stims

So, I posted a while ago about stim toys for pain-seeking stims. I haven't found anything new, but I wanted to discuss that behavior because some of my NT friends have expressed concern that pain-seeking is a SI behavior.

For me and my autism, there are generally three types of crises that impact my ability to function: I get (what I call, anyway) overstimulated, repulsed, or overwhelmed. They can, and often do, overlap.

I get overstimulated when sensory stimulation reaches a fever pitch; I sort of feel like I'm a staticky balloon and other people (or sometimes animals or things) are pushpins that will pop me if the interact with the static field. When I am overstimulated, the answer is less stimulation, of course, but it is also different stimulation. This is where you might find me rubbing my worry stone on my bottom lip or the side of my thumb. Usually, this will last until I can change my physical state in some noticeable way, such as cooling down fully on a warm day or changing my clothes if I'm wearing a shirt with a high neckline.

I get repulsed when something causes a physical revulsion or rejection reaction in me. I feel sick to my stomach, shaky, and alarmed. When I am repulsed, the answer is to stop doing the thing that led to repulsion. Most often, for me, I get texture-repulsed by my food, and therefore have to stop eating whatever I was eating, or potentially stop eating, full stop. This is the easiest to deal with, but also the most frequent - I am extremely texture-sensitive when it comes to food.

I get overwhelmed when social situations reach a point where I cannot process how to proceed. I feel staticky, again, but not like I'm going to get popped - more like I'm overinflated and will explode. When I am overwhelmed, my go-to response is usually skin picking, especially on my face and arms. What skin picking gives me is a smaller, simpler problem to focus on: the bump I just picked now hurts. However, skin picking is maladaptive (those new sores can get infected, and continually touching one's face is NOT how one reduces hormonal acne, which I still have due to PCOS), and I know that, so I try to practice harm reduction techniques. So, what I do instead is try to find a way to create the smaller, simpler problem to focus on (pain) without the risks - hence, pain-seeking stims.

Right now, I do have a few pain-seeking solutions - I have one of those acupressure rings that looks like a metal scrunchie, a strip of rough velcro, and a little textured gyro spinner from TikTok that has rough spikes on the outside, plus I have a couple rough "calm strips" style stickers. I always want more, though, because I sort of... get used to the texture, a little. Like, it's still rough, but it's a roughness I'm used to, so I don't register the pain the same way. I have to rotate, but sometimes (like this month so far) I need it more often, so rotating doesn't work as well because I only have a few options.

Side note: I also fidget more when I'm overwhelmed, so I also have a bunch of fidget toys to keep my fingers busy.

[greeneyedvamp]

Things that tend to help with my skin picking

None of these things are foolproof and I haven't yet stopped completely, but doing several consistently tends to reduce the amount of picking I do whenever I manage to stick with them long enough. Might edit occasionally with relevant observations.

Taking care of my mental wellbeing

This is something I've historically been terrible at, so it's more of an aspirational reminder for myself than a tip. I place it first as the most determining - none of the other ones will work unless I 1) don't need skin picking to cope and 2) have the emotional capacity to care about it. I tend to get extremely anxious about grades during academic semesters, and skin picking becomes an "affordable" method of procrastination, a calming ritual at the end of a stressful day and a way to focus when I read and write. So I need to find more fulfilling activities to do when I'm not studying and work on shifting my identity away from academic achievement. My (achievable) goals for next semester, based on previous experiences, are to: - keep a study planner and spread tasks across a week rather than trying to do everything within one day and as soon as possible - allocate a daily minimum for time to rest (which can involve established hobbies or doing nothing (see Jenny Odell)) - journal - divine whenever needed - meet different friends at least once a week regardless of how busy I am - drink herbal teas while I study to keep my mind calm and my hands occupied - go for walks to places I like or sit outside every other day - set less ambitious goals for uni art projects (and talk to a teacher about expectations and burnout prior to project brainstorm) - read fiction to expand my experience of the world

Multistep skincare kits

My mum got me a set of four ordered skincare products, and I've noticed that the desire to pick that often precedes or follows using a cleanser can be replaced with the desire to go through the steps one by one if I haven't been picking for a couple of hours prior to doing skincare.

Covering problematic areas with BB cream in the mornings

I think this is by far the most effective one for me. I can't as easily see redness and imperfections in the mirror from afar if they're covered with skin colour, so I'm not as compelled to come close, and I avoid touching my face when I don't see it if I'm scared of disturbing the uniformity. Doing this first thing in the morning after cleansing has allowed my face to heal completely on multiple occasions (except for pigmentation left behind), and my most devastating relapses happened when I either put it off or stopped doing it when my face was healed. It works as a preventative measure but can't make me stop once I've started. It also only works if applied only to the butterfly zone and forehead, because bb cream on my chin and temples feels disgusting and has the opposite effect.

Keeping my hair clean

When it gets greasy, I start to avoid looking at my reflection as a whole and instead focus in on small details, which, combined with a feeling of grossness, leads to me picking. I try to wash my hair more often to avoid this.

Treating my seborrheic dermatitis & eczema

Picking at my scalp and eczema often lead to damaging normal skin too, so getting rid of them has somewhat reduced the behaviour. Life also became a lot nicer when I stopped having to be ashamed of the very visible snowfall of dandruff that accompanied me, the habit of constantly picking at my itchy scalp, and of hairdressers seeing the scales and scabs.

Using a dim light source instead of ceiling lights

The first time I did this (using the light of a phone screen, before I moved to candles), I was surprised at how calm the experience was, as the anxiety associated with picking (that I didn't know I had) disappeared. Definitely works for this one time of day, but I might keep looking for a more comfortable light, because candles are intimidating.

Applying bold eye makeup

I've noticed that sometimes my picking is fuelled by the desire to frequently observe changes on my face; this becomes my reason to get up in the morning. Drawing bold black lines and experimenting with eye shadow fulfills this desire too, but in a much more fun and diverse way, and it provides an outlet for perfectionism - instead of seeking skin textures to fix, I can touch up on or change the makeup. I wouldn't be comfortable wearing it out in public, but it's fun to do at home. Unfortunately, I don't do it often enough for it to help in the long-term.

Fidget toy

I often pick to occupy my hands whenever I'm on my phone or reading a book. Carrying a fidget spinner with me at all times and taking it out whenever I open my kindle helps. My cat fears it though.

Asking my mum not to scold me

My picking was often aggravated by the fear of my mum getting mad at the sight of my face: I'd stay in the bathroom longer, waiting for the redness to subside and blood to clot, which would result in me going at it a second and third time; an aesthetician I went to also worsened the feeling of shame with comments. At some point I wrote a message to her explaining that she's not being helpful, and we agreed that I would make an effort and she would stop talking about it, although she can tell me to stop if I'm picking in her presence. I also asked to stop seeing the aesthetician and she let me. This slightly improved the state of my skin but significantly lifted the emotional burden

[sillymcrandom]

if god is real then why hasn’t he cured my dermatillomania yet 🤨 /j

[dead-venge]

i think shigaraki tomura has dermatillomania and trichotillomania

i still see people speculate on why shigaraki scratches himself and as someone with both of these disorders it just seems like it’s more rooted in his extremely severe anxiety & trauma rather than his quirk itself.

i’ve never been a fan of people calling tomura “crusty” for this exact speculation just because it hits rlly close to home for me

TW for child abuse, hair pulling and skin scratching/picking

dermatillomania: a compulsive skin picking/scratching/peeling disorder

trichotillomania: a compulsive hair pulling disorder

these disorders often manifest in people who have severe anxiety, although the exact cause has not yet been identified. both of these disorders often go hand-in-hand and it’s common for someone with dermatillomania to also have trichotillomania and vice versa. they are both closely related to OCD symptoms.

dermatillomania and trichotillomania alike often spike during unbearable amounts of heavy emotions, such as anxiety or rage as a coping mechanism — but can also occur absentmindedly when an individual is bored. where, sometimes, someone may zone out in a daze and scratch at their skin or pull their hair out without even knowing they’re doing it. occasionally, they might even not remember.

individuals with trichotill or dermatill are unable to just “stop” picking or pulling. it is compulsive.

tomura has expressed that the “itchiness” would only occur while he was at home, which we all know affected tomura’s mental & physical well-being negatively. tomura struggled with his fathers abuse alone, as his family didn’t want to intervene — despite seeing the neglect & abuse inflicted on tomura regularly.

this was before tomura’s quirk was even awakened. that’s why i don’t think it’s related to his quirk at all.

in tomura’s adult years, tomura is often depicted scratching himself while he’s stressed or angry.

these are two very substantial emotions that might be difficult for some individuals with dermatill /+ trichotill to regulate, usually resulting in a flare up of picking and or pulling to soothe themselves because of the sheer overflow of emotion. tomura’s “chapped” lips could also be due to dermatillomania beginning to advance into his adolescence as we hadn’t seen him with the blemished lips when he was a child; only when he was an adult.

although on the more subtle side of things, in terms of why i believe tomura has trichotillomania is due to him being depicted with no eyebrows as an adult.

in his earlier years, he was shown to have eyebrows, but for some reason as an adult he lacks them.

as i mentioned previously, dermatillomania and trichotillomania often co-occur. it’s possible that he developed tricho in his adolescent years as well as more and more stress was beginning to topple on his shoulders.

idk i’m just rambling atp but that’s what i think and i had to get it all out thanks for reading all this if u did and if not that’s ok too

[averagetmntfan]

TW: mention of picking @ scabs

ok Ik i said i was going to bed but- I was doing smth research and-

I think I finally found out wtf is wrong w/ me

It’s called “dermatillomania”-

I don’t wanna self Diagnose or anything but-

I do have a Habit of Doing the stuff listed-

So uh

ye-

“Yay me”

[d-e-a-d-f-a-c-e]

kaz, 20, any pronouns.

blog is 17+. occasional nsfw.

okay okay i decided to make a pinned post (finally)

i'm kaz !! this is my main/personal blog, meaning there will be a lot of medias of any kind that i am into and just me yapping on posts. as of the moment, this is a metalocalypse and black/death metal blog.

i think it's also important to note that i'm not very fluent in english. so forgive me in advance if there are grammatical errors, etc. on my posts :')

my dni list is pretty much the average criteria. if i find you disgusting or very weird, i won't hesitate to block you.

although i barely put tags on reblogs & such, i try to!! so here is the list of tags for people to filter/find. please don't hesitate to dm me cw that are not on the list!!!!

UHH

#kazfaceposting - my post/rambling tag

#kazfaceart - my art

#kazcore - me. gender. idk

#knoxcore ✟ #the rhys moodboard ✟ #a treat for kipa - posts that remind me of my friends

MEDIA

#metalocalypse ✟ #mtl ✟ #army of the doomstar

#red dead redemption ✟ #rdr ✟ #rdr2

#fear and hunger ✟ #funger

#sally face

... etc

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING

#tw blood ✟ #tw gore ✟ #tw bandages ✟ #tw body mutilation ✟ #tw eyestrain ✟ #tw flashing lights ✟ #tw body horror ✟ #tw wounds ✟ #tw bite marks ✟ #tw guts ✟ #tw vomit / #tw emetophobia ✟ #disturbing imagery ✟ #suicide mention / #sh mention / #self harm mention ✟ #tw suicide ✟ #tw scars ✟ #f slur / #d slur ✟ #nsfw ✟ #tw hanging ✟ #tw loud audio ✟ #tw dermatillomania

MY OCS (self-indulgent)

#osric

#vinnie

#jemivi

#solveig