#tw: jules crash

[alexalblondo]

some of y’all so rotten in the heart you cannot even follow the basic humanity of not sensationalizing someone’s death, omg

[traincoded]

i know we are celebrating seb's retirement and his work as gpda director was mostly behind the scenes so we'll never know the full story and from what we've heard, it was definitely laudable. But. i really think it's disingenuous to consider the gpda response to jules bianchi's fatal crash as adequate, given that not one driver testified in his family's lawsuit against the fia about how unsafe it was for a tractor to be on track during rain. i do not care for alex wurz trying to rewrite history. perhaps there were limitations. i do not know. but 2015 was an example of the gpda failing to protect its members and their families. the gpda did let f1 get away with blaming jules for driving too fast at the time. his family pointed this out this year too when pierre also saw a heavy vehicle on track and got blamed by f1 for driving too fast. that was a moment of failure for the union, and is worth viewing in that light as something to learn from.

in response to this article being shared on my feed

[myimaginarywonderland]

Emotional, personal rant incoming dealing with sensitive topics like crashes so if you can't read about that please don't read any further!

But it is just getting hard for me to enjoy motorsport without some sort of weird anxiety feeling most weekends. Well, when I am talking about motorsport I mean FIA ones.

And sadly it's not just F1 but it's FE too.

The lack luster safety procedures have just been accepted.

We just don't talk about how cars drove under a crane which less than 10 years ago was basically the reason why we lost Jules. We simply don't admit how fucking dangerous it was that fans where just able to walk under a lifted F1 car that stood in the middle of the public.

We simply moved past the fact that there not only was a bomb attack next to an F1 track but also that there in fact was one just after the FE race.

We simply shrugged off the horrible delayed reaction to bring out yellow or red flags,hekk even deploy the safety car.

We have just come to terms with the fact that the FIA broke a rule last year that not only decided a championship but also was completely dangerous as it put engines and drivers in a stressful situation where no one knew what was going on.

We never really talked about the fact that during the race the helicopter once flew so low that a driver had to complain on the radio because he thought his race pace was affected by the winds.

We just mention the horrible attacks on fans that have been coming out this year.

We justify throwing flares on a track while the drivers are going at 250+ km/h.

We embrace the decision to not red flag a race when in fact the drivers are asking for it to be red flagged because they didn't think the conditions where save for them to go out.

We accept that team personal are being pushed to their absolute limit.

We understand somehow that it's okay to punish one driver but not the other for the same thing once again creating horrible inconstiances in how penalties are applied.

We just acknowledge that some drivers get away race after race with blocking or impending others.

We brush off the fact that it took minutes to get another car off the car it was crushing while the driver could have potentially been inside there with a concussion.

We just deal with drivers putting themself through excruciating pain because nothing is being done to the point where doctors say that if this continues in a few years it could have serious affect on their physical health.

We have to watch as again and again, drivers, fans and team personals health and safety is brushed aside, ignored and straight up endangered.

Every race weekend I can turn on an FIA lead motorsport serie and I know that after the race there will be at least 2 instances which are complete safety hazards.

It's terrifying and frankly I think we don't talk about it enough.

The FIA has become so reckless in their regards for human life because their sole goal is to make F1 an entertainment sport like WWE. F1 isn't an entertainment or scripted sport.

They just deal with things like there aren't actual human lives on the line.

Every race, especially in F1 and espeically with next years calendar looming in the back of my mind, I watch I just wait for the worst to happen. Every race I expect to hold my breath, to type on angry post, knowing that it will only stop once we have had another accident that potentially has to be even worse than Romain because they won't learn otherwise.

It sounds maybe silly and I can admit that at least for now I feel safe but with all the exhaustion next year, I know that I will not watch a race feeling completely relaxed.

I know that next year I will be turning in and just hoping to god that we don't lose another drive in an avoidable accident like Jules or in something horrific like we last Anthoine.

It's a thought that just sinks in sometimes that we lost so many young talents but it know manifests itself in the form of "They know they were taking a risk. But are we really taking a risk now or is the FIA just tempting faith to do it's inevitable job?"

How many races, how many crashed will it take, how many people might get injured, before we finally have change?

Which driver might we potentially have to lose, which mechanics might be eaten up by guilt, until there's a stop?

[tirednapentity]

for my own safety I should never be behind the wheel of a car

[rebelwith0utacause]

.

[lostmymind-0]

Loosing you broke me | MV1 X Leclerc! Sister reader

Word count: 2961

Genre: hurt/Angst, comfort, a bit fluff

Tw: self-harming, death and attempted suicide

Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc did not get along. At all. The rivalry between the two boys was too big. Ever since they started karting against each other have they tried to outdrive the other one. The fights would often lead to one forcing the other off the track, even after the race had ended. Their parents both tried sitting them down and talk to them but nothing helped. Nothing except one thing, Juliett Leclerc. The little sister of Charles Leclerc. The little girl had everyone wrapped around her little finger. Especially her big brother, Charlie. Only for her would he calm his hate towards the Dutch boy, who was equally wrapped around her finger, if not more.

As the boys grew older did Hevé brought the little girl along to almost every race, even if it was just to maintain the peace on track. Over the time did the little Leclerc grew into liking the blond boy her brother stood on the podium with. The two found many shared interests and would disappear for hours after the race. Making their fathers and her brothers come looking for them. Hevé would gently lecture little Juliette in France while Jos would straight up yell angry words in Dutch at the boy. Each time Juliette would see the man would she glare as much as a seven-year-old could at the grown man.

Max and Juliette only grew closer. To the despite of her brothers. All three of them, even Arthur. Juliette was the calmness Max needed after a yelling from his dad and he was the confidence she needed when she once again felt like the world was too big for her and the urge to hide was getting big. Both of their mothers could see the changes in their kids when they were together. It seemed like their ware the puzzle piece the other one needed, even at their young age of sixteen and fifteen, where they officially became a couple.

The day of the Japanese Grand Prix was the supposed to be the best day of Juliette’s life. She and her brothers had travelled along with Jules to watch him race. It was not the first time they would see him race but it was still special. The four Leclerc’s watched as the young Frenchman crashed into the crane. “Jules!,” Juliette screamed and held onto Charles as they watched as the marshals tried to safe Jules. Holding onto his sister Charles prayed for his godfather’s life.

It was Pascale who called Max after the crash. He had of course seen it on TV and worried about his girlfriend as he knew how close she was to the Frenchman. “You need to come to her, Max. She is not doing good.,” were the worried words of Pascale that made the young Dutch book the next flight to see his girlfriend. He had to fight almost an hour with his father until he was allowed to go but that was worth it.

Max had expected almost everything but not this. Not seeing his girlfriend almost lifeless on the bed in her hotel room. The lights out and the curtains close. There was no light in this room nor in her eyes when she turned her head to face him. Without saying a word did he took off his shoes and got into bed with her, holding her tightly. Slowly did she start to cry. She had not cried since she saw Jules crash. She had just been sitting at the hospital or laying in her room. Charles tried to comfort her but could not do much as he did not feel a lot better. It was Max who finally got her to eat something as well as taking a shower. With gentle words and a lot of patience did he help her to detangle her mess of hair before braiding for her. For the rest of the year did Max took her with him to the F3 races. At first was everyone worried that it would be bad for Juliette to be at races again, but it helped her. Or so it seemed. She was okay for a while. She was cheering for Max when he stood on the podium, and she was there when he got the call to drive for Torro Rosso for the next season.

It all went bad when Jules passed. After months of coma did, he finally passed in July of twenty fifteen. It was truly devastating for the entire Formula one community. But even more for his family and friends. Once again was Max there to hold the young girl in his arms as she cried her heart out. Jules was her fourth brother. He was there the day she learned how to walk or for her first day of school but now was he gone. She would never see his smile again. After Jules’ death did everyone believed to never see the only Leclerc daughter smile again. Even with Max by her side. She was only a shadow of herself. Max still took her traveling with him to races while she did her school online. But even that did nothing to help her. In October did she had to stop traveling with Max as Jos thought she was distracting Max too much. So, she went back home.

In this time being apart did she really fell into a dark hole. No one could reach her. Everything felt like it was suffocating her. Like she could not breathe anymore. The only little dose of dopamine she felt was when she took the little blade she had hid in the drawer of her nightstand and cut the skin of her thigh. The pain made her fell better for a short time. The blood showed her that she was alive. Every time she was sitting at the dinner table and her mother would ask her how she was feeling that day, with that worried look on her face, could Juliette dig her fingers against the fresh wound and say the same words. “I am fine.” But she was not. Slowly the blade did not only dance across her thighs but also her arms. No one ever saw them. She was smart enough to wear clothes to always hide them from her family and Max was gone racing, so he also could not see them. It was her best hidden secret.

It was before Max’s first formula one race in Monaco when he discovered the horrible way his girlfriend had been coping. He could not believe that he had not noticed anything. “What the fuck is this, Juliette?!”, he asked her and held her arm in his hand. Staring at the fresh wounds all across her forearm. “Nothing.”, she tried to tell him, but he was not having that. Taking her face in his hand he asked her again and the young girl finally broke down. Telling him all about she started and how she felt. He was still angry.-and confused but he was mostly glad that she was telling him that. “Does anyone know? Charles?”, he asked and pulled her into a hug. “No, nobody can know, please. Especially not Charlie!”, she begged, and Max agreed to keep her secret.

After the race did the two sat down and talked about it for a long time. Max wanted her to get help and she slowly opened up to the idea, but she still refused to tell her brothers. “Someone should know, mijn liefje.”, he told her, and she knew that he was right but there was a lot of shame that kept her from telling anyone, from asking for help. “How about you talk to your dad? I can come with you if you like.”, he offered, and she accepted. Not even two days later were the two sitting in her home with her father. Her mother and brothers were gone for the day, so it was the perfect time. With a lot of reassuring and a lot of deep breaths did Juliette manage to finally tell her father about her struggles. Asking him for help. “Mon soleil, I am so sorry you suffer this much. I will help you as much as I can. Thank you for telling me.”, Heve told his daughter and hugged her as they both cried. “I don’t want my brothers to know, please Papa.”, she asked her father and he agreed to keep this from his sons.

After that day did they found her a great therapist who showed her ways to cope without harming herself. It was a slow progress but Juliette got better in coping. Max and her dad were always there when it got hard, helping her to find a way to go without the blade. But just as it got better and she was able to smile again did the next horror news came. Heve had cancer. While everyone worried about him was he only worried about how his little girl would do if he would not make it. Heve met up with Max in secret and asked him to take care of Juliette. To make sure she would not drown in the darkness again. Max promised to try everything he could. The rest of the year did they try to spend it as good as possible. Max got into Red Bull and got his first win. Which was also the time the media took more notice in his private life, discovering the rather private relationship of the two young adults. It was rather harmless as they just dug out pictures of the two being young and in love. The pictures her brothers hated with their heart.

For the rest of the year did Juliette split her time between spending it with Max and spending it at home with her family. The whole family tried to spend as much time possible together as no one could say how long her father still had.

In June of the next year did Heve loose the battle against cancer. Leaving the entire family broken. Max wanted to be there right after Heve passed but could not as he was stuck in a Canada. But the day after did he took the first flight to Monaco to be with his girl as well as the funeral. “What are you doing here?”, Charles asked as he opened the door and found the Dutch standing there. “I am here to be there for your sister. Can I come in now?”, he asked and Charles stepped aside, knowing that it would be for the better. “I am sorry for your loss, Charles.”, Max told the second oldest Leclerc, who just nodded and left. Walking up the stairs Max found his girlfriend in a really bad state. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying and her hair was a mess. “I am so sorry, mijn liefje.”, he whispered before pulling her into his arms. Crying against his chest she let all the emotions go. All the anger of why it had to be her father and not someone else. All the sadness. All the frustration. Everything. Max said nothing but just held her as tight as he could.

While Max and Charles went away racing two weeks later was Juliette not able to leave her bed. Her therapist had tried to call her multiple times but failed. She was alone at home with her oldest brother, Lorenzo. Well, he was mostly distracting himself with work while Juliette was spiralling without him knowing. It only took a short trip from Lorenzo to the store when she finally fall down the cliff. Reaching into her drawer she walked into the bathroom. Filling the tub with water she stepped into the cold water with her clothes still on. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes before lifting the shiny silver blade up. Watching the blood pour out of her wrists she relaxed at the feeling.

Lorenzo yelled for her multiple times, asking if she was hungry but got no answer. Frustrated with his sister the oldest Leclerc went up the stairs and tried to find the girl. His first try was obviously her room, but no success. Then he heard a noise from the bathroom. Knocking on the door he asked if she was alright. As he still got no answer did he open the door. Revealing the horrible sight of his half passed out sister, covered in her own blood. “Merde! Qu'est-ce que vous avez fait? (Fuck! What have you done?)”, he asked her, rushing to her side. She was still breathing and had pulse. Grabbing the closet towel he applied pressure while calling an ambulance.

In the hospital did they stabilize her and stitched her wrists up. The first person Lorenzo called was their mother, telling her what was going on. Pascale was, rightfully, shocked and booked the first flight home. “Don’t tell, Charlie and Arthur. I don’t want them to know.”, was the first thing Juliett told her big brother when she woke up. “Cheri, why would you do this?”, Lorenzo asked, taking her hand carefully in his. “It is complicated. I just lost it after Papa passed. Did you call Max?”, “I called Maman and I think she told him. They are on their way here. Arthur and Charles are still in Baku.”, he explained and she nodded, asking how the boys did in the race. “Charles won. Max was fifth. But sleep now.”. Hours later did Pascale and Max rush through the hospital doors, waking the young girl. “Liefje, how are you?”, Max wanted to know as soon as he saw his girlfriend. It hurt to see her like this. Pale, bandaged up and hooked up on machines. “I feel tired.”, she whispered, shame of what she has done hitting her. She was ashamed that her brother had seen her like that and now her mother and boyfriend. Tears filled her eyes before she started sobbing. “What is it, cheri?”, Pascale asked her daughter, sitting down on the bed next to her. “I am so sorry. I never wanted it to come so far. I just could not take the pain anymore.”, she sobbed while holding onto her mother. “I know it hurts but this is not the right way.”, Pascale gently told her. Nodding she reached her hand out for Max to take.

After a while did Pascale and Lorenzo gave the couple a bit privacy. “I am really sorry. I just lost control.”, Juliette whispered and held onto Max’s hand like he would disappear if she let go. “I know it hard and I know that you miss him deeply but I need you to fight. If not for yourself then do it for me. I need you. More than you know. Without you would I be lost. So please fight. I will do what I can to help you but I need you to fight. For me, for Jules and for your father. I love you.”, he pleaded, crying as well. The fear of loosing her was the worst fear he had ever known. “I will try. I love you.”, she promised him.

It was still in the hospital when she decided to go into stationary therapy. Max, her mother and oldest brother all supported her a lot in that decision. Charles and Arthur still had no clue but she planned on telling them as it was holding her back from healing. So in summer break, when she was allowed to go home for the weekends did she decided to finally come clean to her other two brothers. With Max present. “What is he doing here? I thought it was going to be a family day?”, Arthur complained when he walked into the living room and saw the Dutch, once again, sitting next to his sister. “I want him here. now please sit down and shut up.”, Juliette asked him. Rolling his eyes he listened to her. “What is going on, mom cheri?”, Charles asked his sister. He feared that she could be pregnant or worse engaged to Max. “There is something I have to tell you.”, she stared only for Arthur to interrupt her. “Are you pregnant?”, “No, now shut up.”, she yelled. Max squeezed her leg, telling her to calm down. “Ignore Arthur, cheri.”, Charles told her and she nodded. “I have been struggling for quite a while now. Like a lot.”, she once again started. A nod from her mother encouraged her to go ahead. “I have been dealing with severe depression as well as self harm.”, “Self harm?”, Charles asked and she slowly lifted her sleeve up. Revealing her arm, that was covered in scars. Some small and white while others were still red and fresh. But the most striking one was the thick vertical one that was still looking rather fresh. “Merde!”, Charles cursed and gently let his fingers run over the scars, not believing they were real until he felt them under his fingertips. “Why have you not said anything?”, Arthus wanted to know. “I was afraid what you would say but I was also extremely ashamed. I did not want anyone to know. Max found out by accident and then talked me into telling dad.”, she explained, covering her arm again. “I am now in therapy. In stationary therapy to be precise.”. The brothers needed a moment to let everything sink in before saying anything. “Can we help in any way?”, Charles asked while Arthus was overwhelmed. “Just not judging me or hating me would be good.”, “Cheri, I could never hate you! You are my baby sister and I will always love you!”, Charles protested and pulled her tightly into his arms.

[mrs-snape5984]

“I think, I know just what you’re longing for…”

“I may be undone, but nothing seems to undo you…” (“My Thieving Heart” by Sivert Høyem feat. Marie Munroe)

Wow…I’m crawling back to the surface of tumblr, coming from hell. My last crash has been one of the worst so far…I couldn’t stand up, I couldn’t get myself something to drink, I couldn’t eat, I wasn’t even capable of thinking in a proper way. Since I couldn’t even type anymore, I had to ask my sweet friend @vulnus-sanare to help me out by sending messages to some of my friends. I didn’t mean to make anyone feel worried about me, so please forgive me for my long silence.

This beautiful artwork, which I’ve requested from my lovely friend @opalchalice, is based on a dream, which I’ve had some weeks ago. Lia, I’m sorry for the delay, but I wanted to transform my dream into a short one-shot fiction to honour your fabulous work the way, it deserves to be seen. You know, that I’m a fan of your art, my dear….but this one…damn, Lia! You overwhelmed me with this stunning piece of art! Thank you so much for your understanding of my ideas. I’m beyond grateful for our verbal exchanges and I’m proud to call you my friend. You’re so talented and kind, Lia. Please…never change!

Now…back to my dream. Since I’m struggling immensely with brain fog, due to my disease ME/CFS, I noticed that my ability to write seems to fade away. This isn’t my best work and I’m very aware of this fact…so please keep in mind, that I’ve written this under the torture of my sickness and be gentle with me.

TW: smut and a slight mention of lactation kink…well…I leave it like that. 😅

🔞 🚫mdni 🔥💦 (1012 words)

More to love

It was midnight. From afar Julia could hear the faint tintinnabulation of the church tower bells…ringing once…and her bare feet touched the cold grass beneath herself. Twice…and she felt a cold breeze caressing her blushing cheeks. Tilting her head back, Julia closed her eyes and listened to the remaining ten strikes of the clock tower. Her nightdress was billowing in the wind, sending shivers down her spine.

Suddenly Julia sensed some arms coming from behind, tightly wrapped around her waist, when she was pulled back against a tall presence. A surprised gasp left her lips, but the familiar personal scent of her husband soothed her nerves immediately. “What are you doing here alone in the middle of the night, Jules?” Even after so many years, the deep voice of Julia’s husband caused a certain weakness to her knees. Severus‘ hot breath tickled the soft spot behind her ear, leaving goosebumps all over her alabaster skin. „You‘ll catch a cold, darling,” he murmured lovingly, burying his face in Julia’s wild curls. “Mmmh…so divine…,” she heard him whispering hoarsely, his voice was dripping with desire.

Severus’ hands roamed over her tummy, clenching the satiny fabrics of her nightdress in his lustful grasp. “Severus…,” she breathed, pressing her back against his chest. “…this isn’t the right pl…,” but one of his hands silenced her resolutely, whilst his other hand passed the plunging neckline of her nightdress, massaging her voluptuous bosom with a firm grip. “Shhh…stand still and be quiet, Jules,” Severus urged her, playfully pinching her erected nipples, causing a muffled whimper from his wife.

Suddenly, Julia felt two more hands grazing over her bare legs and her eyes widened in disbelief when she perceived another man kneeling beside her, shoving her nightgown up to her waist. But this wasn’t just any man, who touched her so intimately! The silky raven hair…the adorably crooked nose…and oh, those mesmerising obsidian eyes! She didn’t understand how this was even possible, but the man on his knees was no one other than a second version of her very own husband…observing her reactions with a seductive smile on his lips.

Julia couldn’t suppress a guttural moan escaping her lips…smothered by Severus’ hand on her mouth, when bold fingertips brushed against the edge of her panties…pulling them aside in a swift move. Another groan found its way up her throat as soon as a finger dipped into her moist depths. “Gods, you’re already so wet for us, Julia,” the deep voice of her husband cut the silence of the night, a subtle hint of mockery seemed to be layered underneath the lecherous tone of his words.

“Be a good girl and spread your legs for us, Jules,” Severus murmured close to her ear, still holding her in place from behind her back. His hand released her mouth…only to be replaced by his arm, tightly wrapped around her neck. The tickling sensation of Severus’ breath on her delicate skin sent goosebumps all over her body, which didn’t stay unnoticed by him. His amused chuckle echoed through the air, only to be followed by a strict demand: “Wider, Julia! We know, you could never get enough of us…”

Severus’ commanding tone and the mysterious situation left her speechless and aroused. The wetness between her thighs glistened in the moonlight, causing a never known neediness to creep up inside herself.

“Damn…you’re dripping already,” Severus teased her from his kneeling position, before his thumb started to draw circles on her throbbing clit, causing her to moan in delight. “Just give in and enjoy the magic, Jules…,” his dark voice growled and Julia couldn’t make out, who of them said that. The confusion mixed with her growing excitement made her feel slightly light-headed. Two fingers entered her moist entrance, adding a new layer of greediness to her already tense body. While her husband held her in place, his magical likeness drove the redhead crazy with the gentle and yet determined play of his digits….fingering her deliberately slowly…teasing her clit with his thumb until she begged for more. “Oh, gosh….yes! Please, Severus….fuck me! I’m begging you,” Julia whimpered desperately, almost crying from this lustful torture.

Suddenly a third Severus joined the scene. Julia noticed how good he looked with his man bun, a cheeky strand of hair falling over his eye, just like she had seen it countless times before, when her husband was focused on brewing his potions. His voice sounded so mockingly when he approached her, pinching her hardened nipples through the silky fabrics of her nightgown. “Well, well…what do we have here?,” he groaned huskily before he licked over the delicate skin on Julia’s neck. “Damn, you’re truly insatiable, Jules…but so am I!” Ripping off her dress, Severus revealed Julia’s soft, full breasts and bit his bottom lip in anticipation. “Fuck, Jules…you know, what I want…,” he murmured under his breath before his mouth found its destination…embracing her stiffened nipple with hungry eager. “Let me be your good boy, Jules…,” Severus mumbled before he started to suckle greedily until a small trace of milk drooled from the corner of his mouth…causing her legs to tremble.

“Aah! Severus…yes…do with me whatever you want…,” she whimpered needily, closing her eyes in pleasure.

“Oh no, Jules…open your eyes, my darling,” her husband growled from behind her back. “You will watch us, sweetheart…we want you to see everything, what we’re doing with you…and you will enjoy the view until you’re coming undone.” Julia couldn’t do anything else than nodding obediently, when Severus held her in place for his companions…pressing his hard cock against her back….

Suddenly Julia woke up from her naughty dream, with a loud gasp escaping from her mouth. Blinking rapidly, she looked at her familiar surroundings, feeling the soft surface of the bedsheets beneath her bare skin. Her gaze fell on her peacefully sleeping husband on the other side of the bed. Tenderly Julia bent over to place a little kiss on Severus’ adorably crooked nose…before she slipped underneath the covers to worship him the way, he deserved to be treated…..

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[beechicory]

WOW, this BBC article by Andrew Benson. Alex Wurz (GPDA chairman) discusses Seb's work with the GPDA, how he got Alex to join and and the beginning of Seb and Alex's partnership fighting for drivers' safety -

And, how desperately Seb fought to convince and unite the drivers. To get them to listen and work together and do something.

[Note: The GPDA has a chairman, and two directors. Seb has been one of the directors since 2010.]

TW: this discusses Jules Bianchi, crashes, and death

[jaeclerc]

Baby Come Home // Charles/Daniel // 2.6K

tw: ableism towards a deaf character

Charles isn’t too sure when he first met Daniel, he has just always been there, like the shine in his maman’s eyes or the slight dip on the third step of the staircase leading upstairs. He can’t remember when he first noticed him, but he can remember the first time Daniel actually looked back at him and noticed him.

He was 6, staring up the stairs of their house as he watched Jules, Enzo, and Daniel bounce up to the top level, a frown on his lips. They thought they were so grown up, at their ripe age of 8. Maybe they were, Charles didn’t know. He was only 6. But, he desperately wanted to play with them and he signaled that with incessantly flashing the lights so Lorenzo would look at him so he could sign. Their mother was hunting down the new pack of batteries for Charles’ cochlear's and had been for the last hour. 

“I want to play!” He signed to Enzo when he finally looked at him, rolling his eyes at Charles. “Please Enzo.” 

Charles wasn’t that good at lip reading so when Daniel said something to him, he couldn’t quite understand, his face scrunching as he signed to Enzo. 

“What?” He demanded, looking between both his brother and his cousin. 

“Nothing, Charlie.” Jules signed back to him, before he turned to Daniel and gestured, presumably explaining that Charles was Deaf and couldn’t hear anything without his processors on. He also gestured to Enzo, pointing to his hearing aid on his left ear, probably explaining that all of them were on the deafness spectrum as best as an 8 year old could. 

Daniel nodded, his head quirked to the side as he waved at Charles before turning to talk to Jules and Lorenzo. 

“Daniel said he wants to play with you.” Jules automatically translated for him. Charles grinned and went to see if his Maman had found the batteries so he could actually talk to Daniel without missing every other word from his lips. He was trying hard to learn how to lip read in school but it was very hard and most of his family was at least to an intermediate level of ASL or LSF, so he didn’t have to use it at home. 

Charles flickered the lights when he walked in the room, causing his Maman to look up as he signed “Did you find them?” 

His maman gestured to the counter where his processors were laying on the counter, signing back that she had. He waited for her to help him put them back on him, smiling as they turned on and he could hear the world around him again. 

He ran off to find Daniel to show him that his ears worked again. Kinda. Jules told him that his hearing ear and his Cochlear sounded a little different but Charles knew no difference, having always only heard through his devices. 

-

The first time Charles really realized just how much Daniel meant to him, he was 14. 

He was sitting at the lunch table with Enzo, Jules, and Daniel, fiddling with his processors. The noise in high school was a lot, even two weeks into the transition from his Deaf focused middle school into mainstream high school. His English skills were advanced, he could speak well, and he had no problems with focusing in a normal classroom, but the cafeteria was a different story. Thousands of voices and sounds came crashing over him all at the same time and he wasn’t used to it. 

“Charles.” Enzo scolded when he saw him playing with the device. “Don’t break it again. Just take them off for the moment if you’re really that bothered.” Charles rolled his eyes at him but detached the magnets, making everything go silent around them as he looked at all of them. Charles started eating his lunch, chatting with Enzo and Jules as Daniel vocally spoke to them. They both took turns interpreting for him, but Daniel had spent years with them all. His own hands reflexively clumsily signing the main points of what he was saying, just fragments of what he was talking about, half formed but still clear enough for Charles to understand whatever he was wishing to express to all of them. Charles could lip read well, but he appreciated not having to focus on mouths. 

Charles was struck by how fond he was of Daniel. He was hearing, raised in a hearing household, but he still tried for all of them in their native language, picking up their language and using it to communicate with them, especially Charles who relied a little more heavily on sign as he was born with profound Deafness, while Jules and Enzo were both only fully effected in one ear. 

It struck him with a sudden quickness, how much he liked Daniel. 

“Daniel.” He signed “You need to learn how to sign with both hands, you look like you’re speaking only halfway.” He giggled at the look on his face, smiling at the older boy as he picked at his school issued tater tots. 

Daniel waved to get Charles’ attention once again and used both hands to sign to him. 

“Enrolled. Class. Learn.” He said, and Charles nodded. 

“Good. Because you can understand well but your signing is…not so good. Sorry.” Jules and Lorenzo both nodded their agreement, Jules turning slightly to speak to him. 

“Charles is just picky. He grew up spoiled with everyone knowing sign so he never had to suffer through the well wishers who thought they were fluent. At least you try, but he is right. You really do suck at ASL.” Daniel gasped in mock offense, causing Charles to laugh again, flushing when people looked at him. He assumed he was being loud, but nobody at his table turned to shush him, so he just continued. 

He nudged Jules, signing “You’re just jealous that Maman and Uncle said that I sign LSF better than you.” 

Jules shook his head before saying “Bell.” and gesturing up to indicate to Charles that lunch time was over. He made sure to connect his transmitters again, cringing slightly at the cascade of sound as he gathered his things to dump them. 

He felt a nudge and looked up to see Daniel, replying vocally when he asked “Ear?” 

“Yes, I always put them back in after lunch, Though, I wish I could get away with not. Mr. Pross always breathes so loud into my microphone and has it pressed way too close to his mouth.” He shutters, and Daniel cackles. They had the same math class, so they walked together, pushing through the crowded halls. 

Charles felt so cool walking with Daniel who was extraordinarily more popular than him. He smiled at Daniel as he cracked jokes, trying to only focus on his voice when someone bumped into him, slightly hard, jostling the hand Charles had reached up to push his magnet under his hair, causing his device to fall on the ground. 

The culprit didn’t even stop to apologize as Charles bent down to pick his transmitter, trying to see if it was broken from the person stepping on it. He prayed it wasn’t, his parents had just bought him new racing red ones that he knew were not cheap. But, when he picked it up, he saw that the magnet was now detached and he frowned even harder. 

“Hey!” Daniel called down the hallway, walking after the person who had jostled Charles. “Hey, you!” He caught up to them. It was that guy who had been taunting Charles, the guy from his Advanced French class that had asked why he was there if he was “SPED”. 

“I’m just Deaf?” Charles replied in confusion. 

“Wow! I didn’t know you knew how to speak.” was all he said, causing Charles to wrinkle his nose and look away. 

“Why didn’t you apologize to him for bumping into him?” He demanded, glaring the boy down. 

“Daniel.” He signed “It’s fine!”

“No, it isn’t, Charlie.” Daniel replied. He turned back to the boy, who had introduced himself as Zach on their first day if Charles could recall correctly. 

“Danny, c’mon.” Zach chidded “He obviously said it’s okay.” He mocked Charles signing, and Charles flushed, embarrassed that this was happening in front of Daniel. 

“Don’t mock him. Just because you barely know more than English doesn’t mean you get to mock him. You broke his fucking device. Imagine someone just walking over your precious phone. Say sorry.” Daniel snarled. Charles grabbed his wrist, shaking his head. 

“Who cares? I’m sure he can make some sob story and get it covered.” Daniel shook off Charles’ hand and snatched Zach’s phone, chucking it over the railing of the level they were standing on, watching it clatter and shatter on the laminate floor below them. 

“Let’s go.” Was all Daniel had to say, letting go of Zach and steering Charles away to their math class, leaving everyone there to gawk at them. 

Charles’ parents were furious when they heard what happened, Daniel got suspended for 2 days, and Charles was pretty sure he was in love with Daniel when it was all said and done. 

-

Charles took off his transmitters at 19. He was sick of the world demanding him to conform to their expectations of him. Demanding him to mold himself into a hearing person when he was not. He was Deaf. 

“I understand.” His maman signed to him when he told her he was doing it. “It’s hard in this world. Your papa and I just wanted to give you the best accessibility that we could, but it has always been your choice. When you were about 3, you refused to wear them out for months and all our hearing friends would ask why we would let you do that. As if denying you the ability to be comfortable is the better choice. You can put them back whenever you want. If you want.” She kissed his forehead as he leaned against her, closing his eyes. 

When he told Daniel, signing to him over FaceTime so the other man could practice his interpretation skills with him, he nodded. 

“Good. You always seemed so uncomfortable with them on.” Charles beamed at him. Daniel always got him, above anyone else. He understood Charles more than anyone else in his life. He got all of Charles’ weird idiosyncrasies and appreciated them with so much reverence, it made Charles’ heart nearly beat out of his chest. 

Charles was so in love with him, it made him almost feel sick with how struck he was by the other man. 

“How are your classes?” He signed to Charles, capturing his attention again. 

“So exhausting! You do not understand how tired I am of having to explain why I have my interpreter there and that she’s allowed everywhere I am. Soooo many people demanding to know why I don’t have hearing aids! Do they not understand the concept of being Deaf?” Charles rolled his eyes as he dramatically signed, exasperated. 

He loved being Deaf, he was extremely proud to have grown up in a Deaf family, surrounded by not only his Monegasque culture, but also his Deaf culture, but it was not easy being Deaf in a world that was built for hearing people. Especially when people saw being Deaf as some sort of shortcoming, expecting him to do whatever to make them more comfortable with his Deafness, even if it meant sacrificing his own comfort and happiness. Charles was so tired of it, he spent years wearing his transmitters and dealing with how much he hated it just to fit in. He was sick of it. 

He wanted to be comfortable and happy, he was born without his hearing and he liked it that way. 

“I’m sorry, cherry.” Daniel shook his head, before turning his head to look at someone off cam. Charles couldn’t read his lips to even get an idea of what he was saying, annoyed that someone else was trying to take Daniel’s attention. 

Daniel signaled the other person away and turned back to Charles, saying “Sorry, my roommate was wondering who I was talking to. He wants to go out to a party tonight.” 

Charles pointed to his lips, raising his eyebrows as Daniel laughed and translated himself to Charles, causing the other to giggle. 

“Are you going to go?” He asked, a bit sad but trying to keep it under wraps. The downside to being Deaf was that he was so used to keeping open and candid body language that it was hard to hide, even when he schooled his face. 

“If you don’t want me to, I won’t. I wanna talk to you and we haven’t really spoken much since you started class.” Daniel expressed to him, 

Charles frowned, shaking his head, trying to emphasize as he said “No, you should! I don’t want to keep you from having fun.” Even though all he wanted to do was talk to Daniel. More than anything. 

Daniel signed “Love you.” which caused Charles to smile, his eyes wrinkling and his dimples popping out as he signed it back and hung up, sighing softly as he looked at himself in his phone’s reflection. He felt pathetic with how much he adored Daniel. 

-

Charles was 20 when he got scouted by AR Models. He was 20 when his whole world changed. He was also 20 when he completely went publicly non-verbal, refusing to use his voice when he had his sign and anyone who was actually worth his time allowed him to use his interpreter. 

When he told Daniel, FaceTiming him in excitement, too excited to even use the minimal words he usually did use with the other man, instead rapidly signing to him in LFS, which Daniel was hardly intermediate in. 

“Charles!” Daniel signed back. “I do not know what you are saying, I don’t know LSF that well, darling.” Charles blushed, laughing a little as he simply spoke out loud to him. 

Charles rarely ever spoke in public, but he would happily use his voice with Daniel, even if his volume control was hard to gauge. 

“I got signed. I got signed to a modeling agency. I-” he went back to sign, English was too hard for him to express himself when he was this excited. “I got signed to be a model, Daniel. With a real fucking agency.” 

The way Daniel’s face dropped made Charles’ heart ache in a way he never knew it could, the feeling nearly choking him out. 

“That’s really good, cherry.” Was all he signed back and Charles was confused. Not only by how sad Daniel’s body language seemed, but by the way he wasn’t even smiling at Charles, his dark eyes looking conflicted as Charles watched him. 

“I-are you not happy about it?” Charles asked, and Daniel only bit his lip, looking like he was about to sigh, but Charles couldn’t tell, he could never really tell through the phone. He cocked his head as he stared at Daniel on screen and he sighed as well, feeling the slight vibration in his throat. 

Charles propped his phone on a window seal, too excited to tell Daniel about his new contract that he hadn’t even left the agency building before calling him. He stared at Daniel before going to talk, the other man obviously not going to respond to him. 

“I don’t know what is wrong, but I wish you would tell me. I don’t even know-This is a dream come true for me, you know this. So I am confused why you look like a kicked dog.” Daniel frowned, his eyebrows furrowing but Charles was on a roll, already ranting, his signing getting more and more mixed up between ASL and LSF. He could not understand why Daniel wouldn’t be happy for him. 

“Charles.” Daniel signed. “I am so happy for you. That’s all. I’m happy for you.” and then he hung up and Charles was left in the lobby of his new agency, phone disconnected and tears in his eyes. 

-

Charles was 24 and drunk when he saw Daniel for the first time in 3 years. In some gay bar in New York City of all places, kissing another guy. Charles didn’t know his heart could break all over again, but here it was, shards in his hands in the middle of a neon lit dance bar. 

Daniel looked up and spotted him, and then looked away. Charles wanted to fucking throw up all the espresso martinis he had just drank, and he turned away, smiling at the guy he was with. Who cared what Daniel thought anyway? 

Charles wished he didn’t.

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

For the most part, F1 has been a generally safe sport in the last decade or so. Sure, we've had bad crashes, Romain Grosjean's in Bahrain 2020, Zhou Guanyu and Max Verstappen's in Silverstone (2022 & 2021 respectively) to name a few but they've all thankfully walked away from them when in the past (before the sport's advancement in technology and safety) they wouldn't have.

Those of you who are newer to the sport or are younger fans, won't know or remember a time where this wasn't the case. In the sport's younger years, it was not uncommon to lose at least three drivers in various crashes over the course of a season. Drivers like Jackie Stewart pushed for more to be done to ensure better safety for drivers, marshals and spectators but it wasn't until the 1994 San Marino Grand Prix that the sport as a whole pushed for better safety.

That ominous race weekend in Imola saw multiple incidents that injured driver Rubens Barrichello as well as mechanics, marshals and spectators alike and horrific crashes that ended the lives of Ayrton Senna and Roland Ratzenberger. The events of that weekend devasted the sport and it's impact is still felt nearly three decades later. The measures that were taken in the aftermath to improve safety had a substantial impact; the 2000s remain the only decade to date where there were no driver fatalities in F1.

Unfortunately twenty years after that fateful San Marino Grand Prix weekend, Jules Bianchi was involved in a crash at Suzuka, a crash which he sadly never recovered from. He passed away seven years ago today.

Jules' legacy is one that is still being written. He has helped save countless lives due to the safety procedures that were implemented to prevent another crash like his. Romain Grosjean credits those with saving his life in Bahrain. His godson Charles Leclerc, the promised prince of Ferrari, il predestinato is battling for his first world championship with the team they both loved so much. His number, the number 17 was retired in his honor.

I always think of Jules during this time of year and I know he'll not be far from my thoughts in October when F1 returns to Japan for the first time since the beginning of the pandemic. The week of the Japanese grand prix also marks the eighth anniversary of his crash. I'll never forget that weekend, that sickening, sinking feeling as I can began to understand that something had gone horrifically, horribly wrong. Those are moments I hope I never see the like of again. Those are the moments I remember every single time I see someone hoping for a driver they dislike to be involved in some sort of crash. Those are moments no one should wish on anyone.

Jules Bianchi... Seven years on, it almost feels like yesterday. People like to talk about the career he could've had in F1 but today let's simply remember the beautiful person we lost. Jules, a beloved son, godfather, friend, etc, who had an undeniable talent and who was taken too soon and is greatly missed.

[mickstart]

You know, if you think about. It makes total sense that JEV would be so vocal about machinery on track after what happened to Jules

Yeah exactly, and that's my point. Jev shouldn't have to be vocal about it. He's the last person who should EVER have to speak up about machinery on track.

Rules about recovery vehicles (which should have already been in place bc they had plenty of chances to notice the danger present) literally exist BECAUSE of what happened to Jules. Before that you had racing with sometimes nothing more than a yellow flag whilst diggers and cranes were on track all the time. It's a recent event and change to rules that all motorsport series should be aware of, and formula e ESPECIALLY because they for some reason decided to use footage of Jules' accident in their own documentary. (Though I understand different people made those choices, it's still their documentary they're associated with. They should all be at least semi aware of the content.)

It shouldn't be up to his friend who has spoken about his own depression and mental health struggles after the accident, who was THERE in the race that it happened, to call out this shit. It's a traumatic event that he shouldn't have to relive and remind others about to ensure it doesn't happen again.

[oetravia]

Everyone who complained about the introduction of the halo after Bianchi’s crash because it wouldn’t have saved him missed the point completely. 

Look how many serious incidents have been prevented because of it. Look at how much of a difference it has made to what happened today.

[pinkydec]

sorry but making out like lewis purposely tried to kill max doesn't sit right with me when yesterday was anniversary of jules passing away

[riding-ricciardo]

god romain's crash was simply horrifying... it's a miracle he's alright and is thankfully being treated in hospital, but it makes ppl aware of how dangerous this sport really is. but thank god he's okay

yes yes yes. this sport was always dangerous and it will always be dangerous. thank God the FIA and everyone else are trying to make this sport as safe as possible and they made the halo. that halo saved 2 lives today. I'm really really glad Romain is doing alright and he is in safe hands now. I hope he will recover as fast as possible 🙏🏻 today was a miracle and he truly had all the guardian angels around him today.

[heroquills-a]

sometimes i sit and think about how maurice, aka sonic’s grandpa, aka julius’s father was affected to find out his son died and i need to lay down

[eleyhsa]

last vb podcast wednesday for a while, topic was fears today! they did talk about probably doing a second season because people have loved it. sorry this is so long again. thanks everyone <3 tw for death and crashes

valtteri is never scared when he is driving, it only hits when you lose the car

he definitely thinks there’s something a bit loose in every driver’s heads to be able to go that fast without fear

valtteri was asked wether grosjean’s survival of his crash made him realise how dangerous f1 is or was it more of ”these cars really are so strong nowadays we are almost immortal”: ”it’s true that 10 years ago there’s probably no change he would have walked away from that, so that does give a certain peace of mind, but there is also the aspect that not matter how strong the car is, if you go to a wall at 300km/h in full speed, you will die no matter how strong the car is, there is limits to the human body you know. but yeah, i remember going in to T4 after the start, and suddenly i see a very bright light, like a fireball in my mirrors. i was so confused and at first i thought there’s no way that’s a car, so i asked the team, is that a car on fire you know, and they said yeah that’s a car. they had no news when i asked and then we just waited, and of course in the end we got good news. to me it was a miracle that he got out almost on his own, walking on his own feet. i can’t remember how long we waited for the news but it of course felt really long.”

after that he was not very excited to get in the car, but it helped that they all saw roman before the restart and he didn’t think about it during the race

oskari: the last driver to die in f1 is jules bianchi, in suzuka of course after colliding with a pickup truck. he’s is your old teammate from f3, and you already earlier told us that bianchi’s death hit you really hard

valtteri: yeah it did, because i knew jules very well, we were already racing together in our karting days and the same age as well. maybe just the personal feeling that someone you know so well and who was such a good guy dies in a sport i love so much and he loved so much, it was hard to accept, and you start thinking is this really worth it. i already had my own health problems that i talked about in 2014, so i already wasn’t in a very stabile place, so i thought about quitting a lot. but from somewhere i digged up some positivity and will to keep going. what helped me to move forward was his funeral in 2015, i was one of the coffin carriers, and when i saw his family and other drivers, there was that kind of collective ”okay, this has happened, and there is nothing we can do about it.” his father also reminds me a lot of mine, he was also jules’ mechanic, and he kept telling us drivers to keep pushing, no point in quitting driving, and i think that helped me a lot

he does think about tracks in different way now, and kinda the thought that ”this corner could kill me” is often with him on track walks. he brings up the saudi track from this year, which is quite speedy, and when he was walking the track he remembers thinking that if he gets a puncture here it’s going to hurt A LOT. ( he used a certain finnish saying but it doesn’t make any sense in english and is from a finnish tv show, i’m sorry lmao ), but when you’re in the car you just drive as fast as you can

therapy and talking to a professional has been very important for valtteri, and in helping to find joy from other things than just f1. he says that after his first time with a sports psychologist, they called him a robot that is just programmed to win races and nothing else matters, and that kind of woke him up. he realized that if he wants a long career something needs to change and you have to be able to enjoy other aspects of life.

he still uses a sports psychologist as recently as this season, and encourages everyone to talk to professionals, because it really helps and shouldn’t be a taboo

the most scared he has been while driving was in austria in a practice a few years back when he went straight to the barrier with only a few rows of tires, and also in imola this year in his crash with george, he hit the concrete barrier first and the slid to the other side, and he couldn’t really tell where the cars was so he was just waiting if it’s concrete or a tire barrier he hits, while waiting for the hit he thinks he often says even out loud ”f*ck this is gonna hurt”

they were talking about other fears valtteri has, and he brought up one time he was really scared. after his first win in russia he had a few a day drinking binge, and wednesday night he was trying to calm down and get it together. it was such a lizard disco (this probably doesn’t make any sense in english either i’m sorry) and he had to go to a hotel to sleep because he was so scared of those damn lizards. luckily the lizards didn’t have a room key to his hotel room 🤣