#two of the kids are dead so technically they only have the other two atm

[moodymisty]

mkay so I have 2 Warhammer ideas? requests? sticking in my head that I can't decide on one so I'll throw both out there and you can pick one (or neither since I already threw a request at ya lol) to chew on. also a lot of my lore knowledge comes from the wiki and lore vids so sorry if I get things wrong.

first, if I'm remembering right you've said that the blood angels get a smidge yandere over Sanguinius' partner. so I'm thinking, how the hell would they act towards them after ol Sangy gets murderized by Horus? what about the black rage? would they recognize them? maybe her being present around a raging blood angel somehow makes them even more feral, desperate to protect them from "Horus". or maybe it helps mellow them out, can't decide which I like better lol. also what if she's pregnant or has had Sanguinius' kid? idk just poor grieving widow surrounded by these also grieving giants who mean well but are kinda unhinged lol.

OR maybe some thoughts/ headcanons for your blorbo Sevatar lol. I don't know much about atm but reading the little thing you made of him made me think he's like one of those boys who picks on the girl he likes but heaven forbid someone else tries to pick on them.

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: I know you said do one, but I'ma do both. Keep an eye out for the Sevatar one soon. I'm not going to pass up a chance to write about not only my crazy husband Sevatar, but also my yandere vamp boys. I really like both ideas of Sangy's lover either mellowing them out or making it worse. I chose that it's made worse in this snippet however. There's other yandere tendencies I could get into, but I decided to primarily do black rage stuff here. I hope you enjoy.

Summary: Guilliman visits the lover of Sanguinius for the first time since the Heresy reached it's murderous apex.

Relationships: Sanguinius/Fem!Reader (no pronouns just the title 'legion mother')

Warnings: Major Character Death technically, Sanguinius haunts the plot because that's what he do, Increasingly yandere Blood Angels

Word Count: 1116

It will have been the first time since the Siege that Guilliman has laid eyes on the Legion Mother of the Blood Angels.

He boarded the Red Tear with a small gathering of Ultramarines, though when he reaches the entrance of the room he's due to meet you in, he turns to his lieutenant and speaks.

"Stay out here."

The Lieutenant instantly begins to put up resistance, standing up even more rigid than he already had. His helmet is off, hanging on is belt and showing slight disbelief on his face.

"But My Lord, I-" Guilliman cuts him off.

"I am not going to bring a small army of Astartes to speak to a widow in mourning." He takes a breath and calms himself. "If I have need of you, you will know."

The marine quiets, and then the Primarch enters the room. The door closes right behind him, and two Blood Angels part for him; They had clearly been guarding the interior of the entrance. In the middle of the large room is you- in front of a massive table of maps and parchments, separating you and him.

"This is a surprise, Primarch Guilliman." You look up at him from across the room as he steps closer. This room was designed with Astartes and Primarchs in mind, so his height fits quite comfortably.

"Do you have need of the Blood Angels?"

You speak proper and polite, but not cold; It's a behavior that reminds him of Sanguinius, and for a moment he wonders if the Primarch had ever prepared you had you needed to ever command his legion.

Guilliman notices a well armored captain at your immediate left, and a few other Blood Angels standing guard in the room. More than he would've put in a room this size, though he thinks that perhaps it hadn't been your idea, judging by the captain's face. He looks across at you.

You look terribly, horribly lost. A young woman with her lover dead, thrust into a leading mantel of a legion in mourning. Belarius is serving as the Chapter Master of the Blood Angels now, but even he still looks to you as if you're an extension of Sanguinius. Something more.

He doesn't envy your position. For once he might see himself almost more fortunate than you; As despite circumstances, he has the genes of his creation assisting him, you do not; You were not make for the role cast upon you.

The Blood Angels standing guard are tense- unbelievably so. Guilliman suspects if he made even a somewhat fast movement, they'd have their bolters all pointed his way.

The weight of Sanguinius' death has weighed heavy on you all. All of you live in mourning. That drive in them now channels fully to making sure their Primarch's beloved stays alive.

"I wished to give you my condolences before you return to Baal."

You smile at him, weak, before it fades a bit as you loose yourself in thought. Then, you turn to your men.

"Leave us alone for a moment, if you will." The captain at your side speaks up. You shush him before he has a chance to say much of anything on the matter, and Guilliman suspects that this isn't the first time. You've clearly been growing frustrated at their obsessiveness already; You wish to mourn in peace, but this is how the Blood Angels have decided to.

"It will only be for a moment. I am sure nothing will happen in the ten minutes I would like to have a conversation without eight other pairs of ears listening." He can hear the strain of irritation and sleep deprivation in your voice. He moves to take his final strides closer and come fully up to the table that stands between you.

One step away however, he stops.

In the corner of Guilliman's eye, he notices in the back of the room that one Blood Angel turns rigid. With how tense his neck and jaw is it's like he's gritting his teeth into dust. He makes a move closer, his hand slipping down the barrel of his bolter towards the trigger-

Guilliman can't see a thing but rage in his eyes.

His own hand twitches in preparation, but the marine's partner in guard roughly grabs his pauldron. He whispers something the Primarch can't hear. As they all move to leave, it almost looks like he's dragging him out. Guilliman notices you watching the scene with a particular look on your face. Like you've seen it before, and you're unsurprised but displeased to see it again.

When they're all out of the room, his posture relaxes ever so slightly. As much as it can in his armor, at least.

"Thank you for visiting, Guilliman, but it wasn't needed. I'm sure you have many other duties to attend to." You smile, but it's forced. He's familiar with the gesture.

"The Ultramarines are always occupied. However I still wish you a safe journey." The smile on your face becomes a bit more sincere.

"Thank you. And I'll be sure to think of the Ultramarines have I any need of assistance." Guilliman has had nothing but respect for the Blood Angels, and a request of yours would be one he would consider.

"Very well. Do take care of yourself."

Guilliman wants to say something about Sanguinius, but he can't bring himself to. instead he gives you a nod, and turns away to leave. He does so silent other than the sound of his footfall, and you're left alone in the room. But only for a moment. Your captain that was here previously enters not long after he leaves, standing in front of you. Rubbing your tired eyes, you look up at him.

"How is he?"

You say in reference to the Blood Angel who'd snarled and almost attacked Guilliman moments ago. The captain shakes his head.

"Not well. He is just barely holding onto his sanity. He'll be in Death Company post haste." You sigh.

"Did any of the Ultramarines see?" Much to your relief, the captain once again shakes his head.

"No. We barely got him out of earshot before he started yelling about saving Primarch Sanguinius and you from the Arch Traitor."

Arch Traitor. How quickly everyone has begun refusing to even utter Horus' name.

You nod to the captain in thanks for his quick reactions in the matter, your face tired. Sleep has been a rarity; You feel sick, and mourning isn't an emotion that welcomes rest.

And no one can know about the Rage, or the Thirst. You suppose that's your duty now. You just hope you can hide it as well as Sanguinius had.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Please give me more of the Míriel comes out of the halls, the moment Finwë dies. I’m on my knees begging you!

Have a delightful day.

i imagine that the moment Miriel comes out of the halls, she's simultaniously murderous, but also over whelmed, bc what tf is she supposed to do?

she's like the deadbeat mom (though she was dead so-)

i imagine she'd do 1 of two things

not mention her return to anyone and just... disappear into the background

in this scenario i imagine she makes her way to middle earth ( personally hc that Miriel doens't really like valinor at all). maybe she sneaks into fingolfin's host? i don't think he'd know all the elves that joined him soo.....

or maybe she's mor sensible and, because she's technically not been identified as a noldo (bc she wasn't there during the first massacre and she has silver hair, which is a more teleri like trait and no one suspects MIRIEL THERINDE to be out of the hall)

i don't think she reaches feanaro before he sails away with his host bc i imagine she takes a moment to get her barrings and figure out what she's going to do and then hear's about the massacre, and by the time she arrives she's too late.

like i said before, Miriel doesn't strike me as the kind of elf that's all that bothered by the incident, not because she's heartless but bc she's a cuivienen elf and bc she will always prioritize her family over anyone else.

2. the other thing i can see happening is her (begrudgingly) staying in valinor in order to take controll there. sure, it might not be the nicest move but she's the MOTHERFUCKING QUEEN OF THE NOLDO

YOU REALLY THINK FINWE BECAME KING ON HIS OWN AND SHE'S JUST THE WIFE?!? NO MA'AM.

if anyone has a claim on that throne it's her, thank you.

she's about to make her re-embodiment everyone's problem. (you can see where feanaro get's it from)

now, her taking over the remaining noldo does make things more difficult bc, again, feanaro does not have the best rep atm. but god damnit, no way she's loosing against the third son and fifth child that had no interest in leading.

plus, i refuse to believe that she didn't have her own supporters when she was still alive that stayed in valinor bc they're only gonna respect miriel therinde, or someone who also survived life at the lack, fuck you. they're not following some greenhorn warrior that's to big for his britches to their completely avoidable death, thank you. (sorry feanaro, but you were not made for middle earth. he's a lowkey rich kid that thought he could make it on his own (tbf, most valinor born noldo thought that, hence why they fucked up so many times))

of course in this scenarios, the moment Miriel catches wind of shit going tits up in Berilian, she mobelizes her army (bc Morgoth is out there, fuckers, and you're an idiot if you think that bitch isn't gonna go after valinor the moment he's got ME) and heads to Beriliand. she's got a score to settle with that MotherFucker.

[jennibeultimate]

The state of Team Canada is maddening worrying...

I thought about this for a while but especially Canadian Nationals made me think about it again...so here are some thoughts...or here is a rant

Can you believe that 5 years ago Team Canada won Olympic Team Gold? They had skaters in every field who fought individually for medals. And now????

The only discipline that works fairly well is ice dance with Gilley/Poirier, Fournier-Beaudry/Sorensen and Marjorie Lajoie/Zachary Lagha (they also have some junior teams who do well) BUT Gilles/Poirier and Fourier-Beaudry/Sorensen are past 30 years old and won't be there for much longer (at most until 2026 Olympics and that's stretching very far) but at least there is some future...but in all other disciplines???? HELP

Women skating is kind of dead. One women for Team Canada at Worlds and Madeline Schizas is the only Canadian female single skater that has some technical content to keep up with the middle of the field. (She may be able to place Top 10 at Worlds but only bc the field is smaller in general) and also sorry to say that Madeline has basically never two good skates.

Pairs is dead as well. They have 3 spots for Worlds but all 3 spots are occupied by ppl who have little experience internationally and are a far cry from the technical content you would need to fight for top spots in an already weak field. (Pairs is kind of dead atm in general with the field being extremely weak in technical content)

With Keegan gone (I watched Canadian men free skate and Keegan made me cry because I will miss him dearly...😭😭😭) Canadian men skating is actually kinda lost or also almost dead...sorry but as much as I like the male Canadian single skaters none of them is even slightly consistent - NONE (Keegan wasn't the most consistent either but at least he didn't implode completely and still had superior technical content to most Canadian men skaters) I mean I don't expect skaters to have clean skates all the time but can I at least expect them to not fall apart completely at every competition? There are ofc inconsistency issues from skaters in every federation (and show me one male skater except maybe NC who consistently delivered) but it's not simply making some mistakes, it's close to disaster every time.

Especially the case of Roman Sadovsky is maddening - like how can such a talented skater always implode in one of his segments in competition? One disaster can happen, but at each and every competition? No way. Something is fundamentally going wrong. And his teams "longterm" (he's not 18, he is 23 years old!) plan is not working. You cannot continue like everything is fine and not change a thing about it when you produce the same bad competitions all over again. It's not his basics being bad, it's just mentally it's not working at all. Lots of ppl after Nats said that he should change coaches and that could be one solution BUT I also think there is more to it than a new team could solve. We can't look behind closed doors and I don't want to assume bad things about his environment or coaches - honestly it doesn't mean a change of coach would mean better results, it's not that easy - BUT something has to change...Romsky seems to be on a stand still and isn't moving forward in any way neither technically (his 3A is not stable at all and his technical content basically is the same for a few years now) nor mentally (you would assume a skater with his age and experience would make progress in keeping up with nerves). And pretending that those things are part of a plan? Who are you kidding? Yourself? (really love Romsky's skating but I am not even sorry for saying this as it's sadly true)

BUT also honestly Romsky isn't the only one with a consistency problem...Stephen Gogolev, Corey Circelli, Conrad Orzel, Wesley Chui...it's all the same (they are younger than Romsky but that's all that is different)

Why am I so hung up on the men? Because there is talent, there are the technical abilities to compete for medals, but the reality is that men skating isn't more successful or less worrying than Pairs or Women Canadian skating.

I really wonder with Romsky in particular but with Canadian skating in general if there is not a systematic issue behind it all.

Like how is such a politically strong skating nation with lots of well established coaching teams not able to reproduce their former successes in the slightest???

What happened???

Not enough financial support for the skaters for enough training ice time? I think I read that they have to finance everything on their own until they have international success but you can't get to international competitions without being able to afford to concentrate on your sport fulltime to learn the technical level to go . But is this really the issue for those who are already competing internationally?

Is the financial situation the reason Canadian skaters hardly train abroad in foreign countries? But would that help?

Do they not have a good support system from their federation? Imo they have supported and relied on their "old" batch of winning champions for far too long that they forgot to develop the younger generations. (I love the old champs Virtue/Moir & Patrick Chan btw) If there was one talented junior skater they kind of put too much pressure and ambition onto them they couldn't hold up too instead of giving them space to grow into their careers. Nam Nguyen and Stephen Gogolev both couldn't produce much success after turning senior, both struggling mentally, technically and with consistency. The latter still has a chance while the former retired with no Olympics experience and the last really good result being in 2015. (Romsky was also one of those very talented juniors but I don't think he was hyped to the extent of Nam and Stephen) Like how can a federation screw up their young talents so much?

We don't know what all of the issues are - I only named what is sort of told and known - just this has to change...whoever is in charge of solving these problems I hope they interfere....

This current Canadian team is weak and the downward spiral is continuing and it's sad and seems unnecessary...

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

what's up kids it's that time again already

because I am extremely ready to be done with season 4 !!!

Gotham 4x17

something wild I've just realized is that at this point there are only 18 episodes left of the entire show, since season 5 was retooled into a half season that only got 12 eps and had to cut several ideas and characters including, among other things, the presence of Man-Bat. that's odd partly because I've spent something like nine months chipping away at Gotham at this point, and it's very strange to imagine my life now without any more Gotham to liveblog. it's also strange because this is no way feels like a story that's nearing any kind of conclusion, and I have to assume that when it inevitably comes the end will be as abrupt, brutal, and messy as every other aspect of Gotham up until that point.

anyway let's see what fresh hell is in store for us this time

god we've really abandoned all pretenses here Bruce is Batmanning on every level except for actually wearing a bat cowl

Oswald looking UNBELIEVABLY cunty atm I'm OBSESSED

bitch!!!

it would have been so cool if Bridgit had literally any kind of consistent personality or motivation but alas it is not that kind of show

a cool thing about the show never technically letting Cameron Monaghan's character be referred to as the Joker is that I don't technically have to like the Joker! and that's a huge relief because I do in fact like Jerome very much

oh my god they stumbled into an interesting Riddler moment again. this rules. like realistically this is about as good as guy whose whole gimmick is riddles could probably do for himself.

Lee got rid of her shitty bangs AND has acquired some sparkly fingerless fishnet gloves I love this for her

oh boy Jerome in a dog cage better not be a writer's poorly disguised fetish

I am once again asking what the point of making him Solomon Grundy was it lasted like ??? six episodes ??? people come back from the dead on this show all the time it didn't have to be a Thing

the thing is that if I didn't already know what the reveal is going to be (there's a second Valeska and Cameron Monaghan is going to play his own twin) I would simply have to assume they were going an incredibly bold gay Joker route and having Jerome hunt down his ex boyfriend

hey this is unhinged. like there have been a Lot of stupid storylines in this show but this genuinely so dumb and SO unnecessary

they want me to believe he stapled a live barracuda to someone's face as if the Riddler could possibly control a noble barracuda

there are just so many men in this city that Lee should be permitted to dismember with her bare hands

oooh baby Orphan Black this is not they are STRAINING to keep from having to show two Cameron Monaghan's at the same time. this is so disjointed

Hatter and Scarecrow getting sent to kill Jim and Harvey but immediately giving up because Harvey uuuuh screamed and ran right at them is ??? lmao??? you are so bad at your jobs hit him with some fear toxin or something?

also exactly no one on this show seems willing to actually run like their life is on the line which is really creating a very weird ambience. Mad Hatter and Scarecrow are doing the white person half-jog across the intersection while being chased with a gun

anyway Jerome just gave his brother a little smooch on the head but I don't think I'm insane for saying it seems like he wants to put his entire tongue in his twin's mouth. and that is hands down like the most normal thing going on in this episode.

RESPECT FOR LEE THOMPKINS: LOST !!!!!!!!!

[the-nsr-family]

Hi! Is it okay if we can hear your idea for the SU AU? Have a nice day/evening!

Oughfshsdfji hell yes. I have a bunch of ideas for the backstory and the current events but no real way to bridge them atm. It gets kinda long, most of this is just explaining Tatiana’s backstory in this au.

“I’m just a fire giant. I’m just a woman made of rock and lava/crystal! I was born on this planet 100%”- The CEO blatantly lied about her past to her family/coworkers who are technically family.

In doing so, she also lies about her dead twin brother’s past (yes I *am* bringing Nickolas and his wife into this bc I love those mfs)

Tatiana and her brother are people made of stone, yes, and they have veins throughout their body made of pure gemstone. Yes, they are walking volcanos...but they are so much more than that in the terms of their past. 

To put in in the simplest terms: they’re living experiments. When the Diamonds got curious about their abilities of creation, they decided to push their limits, essentially: Nickolas and Tatiana were created during one of the many “Fucking around and finding out” parts of Homeworld’s history. On the most basic level, they’re supposed to be Diamonds. That’s what the gemstone veins in their bodies are/were comprised of. But they weren’t made with pure essence, and they certainly weren’t supposed to be polished and perfect. They’re just parts of a planet all mashed into two humanoid beings. The results of the Diamonds going: “lmao what if we did THIS” and it actually creating two sentient beings.

They didn’t even have their current names, at that time they were simply called Rouge Diamond (Nickolas) and Scarlet Diamond (Tatiana), but they wouldn’t really be recognized as Diamonds for years to come.

They can get sick, they have organic parts to them, they seem incredibly human even though Earth was not in the minds of the Diamonds at the time, as this was BEFORE Pink was created.  They weren’t really “born”, but they were babies at one point, they did grow up. Which was something that none of the Diamonds were used to. White had such a big hand in their creation that they (Tatiana more specifically) attempted to emulate her behaviors. They clung to her. Unluckily for them, she had absolutely zero interest in raising kids who need to eat and have far more organic functions than they should’ve. She did enough to keep them content, but she never spent more time with them than she had to when they were kids. Blue was the only one who actually tried to give them any kind of affection at that age, but even she had her limits.

When they were older? She had plenty of interest in molding them to be as perfect as she could make them. Thankfully they did grow, but they were both shorter than Blue, Nickolas being the taller one. Tatiana found herself so happy in her role, so was her brother, but eventually she got tired. The one bad thing about growing up and White actually caring for her? She can’t have fun anymore. Being rebellious is discouraged, all that shouting and having fun is even less acceptable at this age, she found that all her freedom was stripped from her. She *hated* this.

So she got vocal. When she got vocal, she stirred thoughts in her older twin, when she got vocal, she stirred thoughts in the Gems around her. When she got vocal? She stirred thoughts in the newest Diamond around: Pink Diamond. This made her predecessors very upset, but they tried to keep their cool. She didn’t. Her era of rebelling against her caretakers led her to discovering new powers: She exploded into flame due to her extreme passion one evening, and she felt so free in that form...the others were less partial to it. She discovered that she had the ability to control time. That...the others liked that. Not for the reasons they should’ve.

Because Tatiana discovered her fire, her brother unleashed his, and they accidently started many small fires within the palace.  Pink got her colony, and when she began to feel the need to begin the rebellion, to plant those seeds, she turned to the half organics that bothered White to no end with their antics. They understood her. They understood exactly how she felt, trapped, unhappy, they want free from this dreadful cycle as much as she does. 

Pink shared her plans, the twins agreed whole-heartedly, they contributed by turning up their actions, they took the heat for her while she went masquerading as Rose Quartz. Tatiana’s time powers were used sparingly, but they did a lot of good. Plan didn’t go right the first time? Loyal rebel shattered or locked away? A bit of time travel fixed the issue right away. Messing with time may not have been a good thing, but they were a bunch of young Gems with hardly any self-preservation.  While Pink did her best to save the humans, Tatiana became a little enraptured by them, and she realized that maybe she could make her own planet. She could do what Pink was doing, but for other planets. And she’s still a Diamond, she can create life if she needs to. So she went off with her brother, they found a planet, they rescued species from other planets that would’ve otherwise been killed, and they created an entire community, an entire world together. 

They used Tatiana’s time travel abilities to the extreme. They would pop by earth from time to time, they borrowed the ways humans developed and suggested these ways to the ones living on their new planet. They made sure that everything developed almost entirely the same, and eventually put these efforts to rest. The planet was covered in towns and cities, it had unique biomes that resembled earth’s, animals from Earth that hardly changed, but still changed. They stopped their efforts when their favorite little city was starting to get big on rock music.  Everything fell into place from there. The twins fabricated their past, they made up stories about their parents, and used this to rant about White in a way that didn’t expose them. Nickolas got his sister a guitar made just for her, he began to play the bass. He met his wife, she met some humans she was interested in, they started a band.  She went from Scarlet to Kul Fyra, she started the Goolings, her brother began to go by Nickolas. Everything was perfect. Almost perfect, at least. As glamorous as a rockstar’s life can be, there was still a lot of bad that happened (addiction and crime and whatnot).

They moved on. They forgot about their past. They immersed themselves in the world they created.  A Diamond has their urges to lead, though. Fyra listened to her band, but they had spats now and then. She and her brother were always in charge, because being in charge was what they were raised to believe they deserved. When the band split up, Nickolas had a child with his wife, Fyra went on as Tatiana Qwartz, her brother kept their fake family name, Onyx, and they just. Let their lives go on. They were as normal as any of the other crazy superpowered people were on this planet. And Tatiana made her company.  And the music revolution happened. Tatiana adopted herself a pair of rebellious young adults. Mayday turned out to be her niece, her brother’s daughter, and after a lot of heartache, everything was finally happy again.

But someday, somehow, she’s gonna end up back on Homeworld. She’s going to face her “mother” again, and her whole family, coworkers and all, are going to see her real self. How??? No fucking clue. That’s the part I don’t have planned out.

[ainzuha]

tempted to talk abt this rlly big roleplay i was apart of but i just know im gonna get questioned on why phoenix wright and tohru adachi are dating and have four(??) kids and i dont think im ready for that

[picnokinesis]

fic writer review

tagged by the wonderful @swinging-stars-from-satellites whoop!! Let’s go!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Fourteen! It was thirteen until yesterday, which appealed to me a lot, but I decided that posting pirate!thoschei was worth changing that number hahaha

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

394,102

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Technically five, because I’m not counting Avengers and MCU as two different fandoms hahaha. But they are: Doctor Who (2005), MCU, Stargate Universe, The Greatest Showman, and X-Men (comics) - the latter, though, wasn’t really for that fandom, because I was writing a TGS X-Men au hahaa

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Liminality , with 195 kudos - I am not surprised about this one, since it’s probably the most ‘readable’ of my fics, being a oneshot, not shippy, and also not being stupidly long haha!

Renegades in the Ring , with 144 kudos - I didn’t realise how much kudos this one got? I guess it helped that the fandom was very active when I first posted this. Alas, if only I had finished this one...I have a lot of nostalgia for the idea, but I don’t think I’ll ever return to it, simply because it would take about as much effort as campervan au is taking me right now. 

i need a place to hide (before the storm begins) , with 125 kudos - which I am genuinely SO happy about because ahh! This is my big project and to know that 125 people said ‘yes this is good’ is just...really really nice?? Especially when it’s such a niche, specific au.

Tropospheric Disturbance , with 125 kudos - honestly, I’m surprised this one has as many kudos as it does, since I regularly forget I even wrote it hah! It’s a weird one, because it’s not actually in my usual writing style, but I am very proud of it!

and they did live by watchfires , with 109 kudos - and I’m really really happy to see this one here, because I think this is probably the favourite thing of my own that I’ve written. 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

YES absolutely!! I love comments so much, and I really love to ramble about my stories because I almost always have a LOT of thoughts hahaha

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I mean, it’s probably a toss up between i need a place to hide (because I ended it on that twist/cliffhanger), Retrograde (which is another cliffhanger ending, leaving all the characters in a REALLY BAD situation), or maybe the new problem kid, you’ll taste all the salt in my lungs, because, uh, it basically ends with the Doctor saying ‘the person I was before this moment is dead’ HAHAHA. But, to be honest, I don’t know if I would call any of those endings VERY angsty? They’re more like ‘AHHH WHAT HAPPENS NEXT’ endings rather than angst. I don’t tend to write angsty endings because I love angst but I always prefer to end it on a hopeful note...otherwise it feels very unsatisfying for me to write, personally. 

7. Do you write crossovers?

Technically? I mean, I see Renegades as an au more than a crossover, because it’s merely set in the same universe as the X-Men comics, and the only crossover element is Nathaniel Essex being in it...and I never even wrote those scenes hahaha

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

Nah, people are wonderful!

9. Do you write smut?

Since I’m sex-repulsed, this is a hard no HAHA

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know!

11. Ever had a fic translated?

I have not

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Me and @sunshinedaysforever have a collab-wip graveyard in our dms HAHA - but I am actually working on cowriting a fic with some other wonderful folks at the moment! I am. Supposed to have my part finished by the 6th. Hm. 

13. All time fav ship?

Right now, it’s thoschei/spydoc, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s my all time favourite, because my favourite changes a lot. I do have a HUGE amount of love for Clintasha and Rush/Young though! 

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Hmmmmm, there’s a few. I mean, at the moment, I feel like The Grandfather Paradox will NEVER get finished, but I like to think that if I’m still into Doctor Who enough when I finally finish campervan, I might take a crack at it? Grandfather Paradox is more solid atm than some of my other wips...(see: deathless, disarmed). Oh, I know which one I almost certainly won’t finish - this one I came up with waaay back before In the Wind, which is set between O55 and Telsa, which is about telepathy and not listening to warnings from the past, amongst other things.

15. Writing strengths?

I’ve been informed that I’m really good at character voices, and I also think that I’m quite good at expanding characters we see very little of and fleshing them out a lot more. I’ve had to do that a lot for campervan and it’s been really good fun!

16. Writing weaknesses?

I think I can get kinda tangled in the emotional plot lines sometimes, and it makes everything get convoluted and messy and hard to follow? Also I’m not very good at...taking a good metaphor and expanding it? If that makes sense. I’m also actually kind of terrible at subtle, clever foreshadowing because half the time I don’t know what’s happening HAHAHAHAH but sometimes I do manage it!! I’m trying to do it in campervan at the moment. Also I. Can’t write short things HAHA. My characters always think and talk a LOT and sometimes that’s good, sometimes not so much

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m actually doing it currently in part 5 of campervan, since Gabriela and Jamila both speak portuguese (and I’m learning portuguese!)

18. First fandom you wrote for?

On ao3? Stargate Universe. On the internet? The Avengers. Ever? Uh. I honestly don’t know. I made up ocs based on two unicorns in the aftercredits sequence of a My Little Pony VHS tape, does that count?

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

I mentioned it earlier, but I’m extremely proud of and emotionally attached to and they did live by watchfires

If anyone wants my ao3, it’s right over here!

And oh, who to tag!! No pressure, of course, but: @sunshinedaysforever @theplatinthehat @taardisblue @hetzi-art @krebkrebkreb @echo84 @theoreticalabsurdity @1-of-those-things @walker-lister @timelostdoctor and anyone else who wants to!

[anarcho-smarmyism]

open letter to fenrir wolf: plague edition

Wolf, if you can hear this, it’s 2021, and it’s a plague this time around. my first letter was supposed to be an offering, not a goddamn invitation.

I remember the weekend before quarantine began, dancing (badly) with my Freyan friend at a pub last saint patrick’s day, the band joking about the elephant in the room, saying that everything was fine, they were all the way up on the stage, they wouldn’t get anyone sick. I had been thinking about the previous saint patrick’s day, but even then, even through my drunken haze and bitter memories, I thought I could hear a note of desperation in the singer’s voice; I remember the tremble of quiet dread. I told myself to stop being paranoid. everything’s always a false alarm, until one day it isn’t. this saint patrick’s day, against my better judgement, I went to a bar alone because I’d just bought a red dress, and honestly, because I needed to be away from my in-law’s house for a little while longer. I sat down and took off my mask once I’d entered one of the few places you’re allowed to irresponsibly have your mask off in, and it feels weirdly intimate to let people see my face in public by now; back when all I had was a black bandanna, I used to pretend I was an Old West outlaw, and wonder if I’ll ever grow out of pretending to be a cowboy from the movies…or if I I’d have the opportunity to. I had a couple beers, wondered for a few stupid moments why everyone was wearing green and shamrocks, and made idle small talk with the bartender while I stared blankly ahead and wondered how it could be a whole year, and also how it could be only one year, and how it is that all the world’s people let the rich and powerful shovel us by the millions into our graves.

when it started, they told us not to buy masks. everyone was panic buying everything else, and they wanted to make sure they didn’t run out for hospital workers and such. i was able to get some bandanas for me and Tyr’s kid before they ran out, while the TV was still discouraging us from buying them if they mentioned it at all, not to mention the current president’s rabid followers screaming at you in public for defying their leader’s lies that the virus is a hoax and the mass graves in italy and new york are fake news. he rolled his eyes at me at the time, but now the party line is that everyone ought to be wearing two masks if you can. no one seems to remember stuff like this; but then why should they, when the news is showing the last head of state’s supporters storming the capitol? panic buttons had been ripped out; someone refused to call the national guard over and over again, while the racist mob built a noose outside, breached the perimeter, and went looking for politicians to kill because they weren’t going to let their god-emperor stay in power. for aspiring revolutionaries, i must say they weren’t very ambitious; they killed a cop and got shot just to do nothing but take selfies once they got in and found no one inside to kill; they even walked obediently in line between the little velvet ropes on their way in. the only saving grace is that, since their god-emperor has spent 8 months telling them anyone who wears a mask is a pussy and a communist, they all left their hoods at home and many were identified. reports of off-duty cops being among the attackers trailed in. I worked customer service for 9 hours wondering if I was wasting precious time I’d need to look into getting a passport.

it almost worked, Wolf. Just like the nukes almost flew in the 80’s and the climate change is almost certainly going to reach the point of no return within a decade. how many almosts do we have left? Will we keep going from reckoning to reckoning of our own design, playing chicken with nature instead of trying to throw off these shackles and just live, until one day our luck runs out? I suppose that always was the plan on some scale, but I hoped we’d at least get to walk on another planet first. How can this be the end of history, with that great ineffable blanket of stars above us that we haven’t yet explored?

It was only a month or so ago that a blizzard hit Texas -not just where I used to live, where blizzards are rare but fierce and we build our houses to withstand them, but deeper south where a light dusting would make local news for weeks. the strain was too much for the grid; the politicians had made sure the state’s not connected to the rest of the nation’s infrastructure, so entire cities lost power…the poor parts of the cities, anyways. people were circulating infographics on how to resist hypothermia along with pictures of icicles forming on ceilings of their apartment buildings. then the stories started pouring in. children found huddled in their trailers around their younger siblings to try and keep them warm, dead of hypothermia. old ladies’ frozen bodies found by family who’d seen her alive and well mere days ago. families trapped in their houses, built to stay cool in the brutal desert heat, buried by the snow and unable to eat, stay warm, dig their way out, or call for help. some politician lost his job for telling people to stop asking for help because “the strong will survive”. the masters of our world, the ones that stand smugly guarding the gateways from this world to a better one and slaughtering all who approach, really think that surviving because you’re rich and powerful, because you struggle so little that life itself is something you take for granted, is the same thing as survival of the fittest. i saw my peers laughing and saying Texans deserved it for voting the wrong way, and I think something broke inside me, because when that rage erupted from that ugly hidden place that is always burning my hands shook and I wanted to howl until my throat started to bleed and I could’ve summoned you with all the hate that came over me, and who’s to say I didn’t, the way things are going? and this is the new normal, for the rest of my life if not for the rest of our species’. we are guaranteed so little time, and yet we throw it over our shoulders with both hands so we can make the numbers on our ATM screen go up. i feel like i would do anything to guarantee the survival of my species, but I can’t deny some part of me believes we deserve this.

because if this is really it, Wolf, people will blame you, but we are the ones who built this world. I wont bore you with more politics, but the scientists knew how to prevent the worst of it from day one. all we had to do was shut down industry for a few months -and oh, how I remember thinking I could almost hear you laughing as I watched them talk about it on TV as though they might actually try and save us, knowing deep in my bones that the movers and shakers of our species consider it no contest at all, between sacrificing billions in profits and millions of lives. they may be lying bastards, but their devotion to greed is as eternal and sincere as was your promise to make the ones who bound you pay -and they have no qualms about paying the same abominable price. My anger is making me reckless, and I know it, and I know that they always say you shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you -and maybe it’s true, but it’s also true that they’re only feeding us at all because they know hungry people may swallow them whole. how can I blame the plague or the storms or the riots for our doom, when the extent of the death they’re causing are only the consequences of human actions? how can I hold my livid need to get back at the bastards with my duty to my own humanity in the same body, when they crash against each other like two asteroids headed in opposite directions?

we just heard that vaccines are available in our state, right when I was halfway through writing this. I’m sure it’ll be weeks until we can breathe without fear, Wolf, and even then, the storms and the riots, the coming famines and wars, means that reprieve will be small and bitter and filled with irony and dread. I’ll be sure to give you some raw meat and take a shot of that godawful whiskey so you can laugh at the face I make. sometimes I wonder if you’d be on my side, help me and my friends break their haughty power, reclaim the world, and start rebuilding the forests we squandered in our ignorance and greed, were you given the opportunity. I’d like to think so, and it seems like the kind of thing you’d be into -but then, we’ll never know, will we? Despite all I’ve said, I still hold out stubborn faith that one day humanity will learn that so long as one of us is imprisoned, none of us are truly free. We're not like you, so you'll have to take my word for it: humans need mercy like wolves need to hunt. Just because we can technically stay alive in these chains that force us to forget that the humans' only true strength was always only their cooperation with each other, doesn't mean it's good for us to live this way. If we can learn that we are strong enough if we stand together, we can take them down before they take us and countless other species down with them. People have been certain the world would end before; and they’ve all been wrong so far. perhaps it’ll take more than this to kill us.

-but that’s the thing, isn’t it? more is coming. it always has been.

But I really, really want to thank you for dancing 'til the end You found a way to break out You're not afraid to break out

[arsonist-chicken]

Lockdown Tag game; I got tagged by @we-are-not-amoosed thank you! I keep forgetting you know I exist, also I hope you had fun being drunk at midnight on a Tuesday hjhjhj.

First of all, a big FUCK YOU to tumblr, because I was at the LAST QUESTION and opened ONE NEW TAB to look up the word windmill, and when I went back to tumblr, my post was GONE, so here we go again. If an answer seems short of half-answered, it’s because I didn’t feel like typing everything again.

Are you staying home from work or school?

HA. Yes. Love that for me. Not at all. My university opened for 1 1/2 weeks in March 2020, then for another 4 weeks in November, and it has been closed ever since. I’m in my dormitory in the town I study in, not home home at my parents’ place though, because that would Not end well. The internet connection sucks though, that’s really annoying with distance learning. When I go into The City for A Thing, I usually cycle past my department and it makes we Yearn to go back in there, which is a thing I didn’t think would ever happen, but one pandemic later and suddenly everyone would kill for the change to go back to work/school in person, wouldn’t we?

If you’re staying home who is there with you?

I live in a dormitory, so technically, there’s a lot of other people there, but I don’t really talk to any of them except for when we meet in the hallways or the kitchen or wherever, so really it’s just me, the stuffed animal my friend got me last year because I kept whining that I didn’t have a cat like her at her boyfriend’s place where she basically lives now, and the birds who come to eat from the bird house I put on my balcony.

If it makes you feel any better @we-are-not-amoosed, not that I think it will but hey, who knows, my twin sister is moving out in December, so I will be the only child at home with my parents during summer/Christmas/Easter break, which will be Not Fun. I’ll take another 1 ½ years for my degree, and another 2 if I do a master’s, so that’s about... 1-3/4 years I’ll be alone with my parents while my perfect sister gets to move out and move on and live Adult Life fully respected as an Adult working with renewable energy, as opposed to the Disappointment who takes 5 years for a 3 year degree in a field that’s hard to find employment in and never Does Stuff like my mother wants me to Do Stuff.

Are you a homebody?

I’m with @we-are-not-amoosed there, I didn’t know what that meant, but Pons says “Stubenhocker”. A bit I guess? I’m definitely fine being home by myself if I’m unbothered there (read: not at my parents’ when they are home) and I do need time by myself to recharge. But probably like everyone else, I crave and enjoy social contact a ton more than Before. I meet a friend fairly often (aka the only friend still here instead of home for distance learning), and today we worked together (handing out flyers which idk why the company pays us to hand them out, like 95% of them get thrown away immediately, but hey, we’re getting paid 🤷) and then went to sit by the river, and there were SO MANY people there, it was not *entirely* corona-compliant (but outside with town-typical wind, so it’s fine I think, with my non-existent knowledge about spreading of viruses and such), but honestly? I just couldn’t be bothered to care in that moment: it was warm and sunny, I was there with a very close friend, people were laughing and dancing to good music, it was just so GOOD to be there, almost as if Corona didn’t exist. The police even drove by like they always do to check for people smoking weed and didn’t say anything like usual, so hey. It was just so good, okay? So, homebody? Within reason, I guess, but less than Before, probably.

An event you were looking forward to that eventually got cancelled?

Oh boy, SO MANY. The one I’m most bitter about was a very prestigious international interpreting event, that would have involved me interpreting in the actual European Parliament building in Strasbourg. But there was also a festival week with my best friend I was looking forward to, maybe even a second festival with another friend, my company’s ten year anniversary party, etc. And Prides! I came out to my family in 2019, and was like “Yay, I can finally go to Prides now!” but well 🤷

DUDE SO MANY ARE YOU KIDDING ME

CONCERTS: 5SOS (I SHOULD HAVE heard “Old Me” in a crowd full of other people getting nostalgic for their past selves, but NO), Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Rock im Park aka GREEN DAY AND RISE AGAINST (I have been trying to see Rise Against for YEARS and ALWAYS something gets in the way!), one or two small local artists.

ERASMUS: I should have gone to Russia for a semester to improve my not-too-great speaking skills but Corona said FUCK YOU you will study ALONE and LONELY in your ROOM like a child on TIMEOUT

PRIDE: none in particular, just generally it would have been nice to go, maybe even with a friend to the one in Vienna

Also just general stuff like birthdays and get-togethers with friends, and my club’s annual get-together was cancelled too, and it would have been my friend, sister and my’s 10-year-anniversary, so that sucked to get cancelled.

What movies have you watched recently?

Movies? Pfuh, I don’t know, I’m not really into movies anymore, tbh. TV-series and games are more my jam.

Descendants 1 +2, I finally watched those after I read so much fanfiction that I knew the plot without having watched a single scene that isn’t a music video that youtube kept showing me. They’re nice enough, if you overlook the fact that they make a 16-year-old king while there’s still perfectly capable adults but whatever, there’s a lot of cute moments (Carlos and Jane omg) and a lot of funny ones (UMA. Is HILARIOUS), the music kind of slaps ngl, and arguably Mal + Evie are queer and in love. I still want to watch the third soon, and rewatch The Hunger Games since it showed up on my dash recently.

What shows are you watching?

Rewatching Julie and the Phantoms forever until the end of time (or until season 2 comes out @netflix, and I started Brooklyn 99 again for background noise/low-energy background watching. A friend recommended Ginny & Georgia and it’s okay enough, but it’s written in a way that makes you want to keep watching because there’s just such whack stuff happening that you want it explained; it’s 1h episodes though, that’s a bit hard on my attention span. I want to rewatch FMA:B some time, too.

What are you reading?

@we-are-not-amoosed said “tumblr posts and the texts I translate at work” and if that isn’t a Mood. I’d love to read more, but my attention span is shit and my reading comprehension even worse. I *am* reading “Explain to me like I’m 5” atm which explains stuff easily, like, well, you’re 5 years old, so you’d think a 23-year-old could understand, no? No. I read it, I vaguely understand some stuff, I close the book, and it’s G-O-N-E, not a single thing left. Literally the only thing I remember – and this is why I had to re-write ^^^all that because I needed to look up the English word for Windräder, if that’s even what they’re called in German but whatever I’m tired – is that insects and birds die a LOT in windmills when they get too close and get sucked in and can’t escape anymore, which is one of the reasons windmills aren’t as environmentally friendly as we thought when we built them. Anyhow, I’d love to read more, but idk, there are a lot of posts on here, some I’ve reblogged, that are like.. something something reading fanfiction is easier because you already know the characters and universe something something less mental energy something something idk. Yeah I mostly read fanfiction these days. I hope I’ll get back to reading books sometime soon-ish, I have a long list.

What are you doing for self-care?

Hm. I meet my friend I mentioned above pretty regularly, and I have a notebook that I write stuff in that was nice or made me happy when that happened (like today: working with my friend and then sitting among people by the river in the sun with said friend). I’m getting a tattoo next week (3 cat paws + 1 dog paw = technically my two cats and my late cat and dog, but well, two of them are dead, so I asked two friends for a paw print of their cat and dog, so I’ll always have those two with me, too). I try to make a to-do-list each day, but I rarely stick to it. I apply eyeshadow and body glitter if I want to, I dye my hair bright colors (think pink, purple, blue, red, maybe orange next). I always have chocolate in my room meaning I stopped depriving myself of food I like/food in general because it’s “healthier”/”I need to lose weight” etc. all that you know all those great reasons. I went to a doctor about my knee and it ended up being useless but I went, so.

I also went to see a therapist but she is very useless, like “ended our first session telling me well she doesn’t know how to help me/if she can help me at all/if therapy would even help me” kind of useless; I’ll go again next week and see if that changes or if next week will be the last week and I’ll go back to Dealing Like Before, which is not great but whatever. I’ve lived until 23 without therapy, surely I can keep doing it. Therapy’s expensive if it’s not covered (which this doctor IS which is why I went to her but it’s still a waste of time) and if it’s not gonna work/not gonna help me apparently or if there’s nothing actually wrong OR that therapist is just like, bad at her job, what’s the point of going yk?

Uggggh, I hope the swimming pools and Zumba class will be open again soon, Zumba (also with said friend) is AMAZING, easy fun exercise you don’t need any knowledge or skill for and you can hang out with your friend by the street after for an hour and say goodbye five times and then remember one more thing you wanted to actually still mention and stand there for another 20 minutes hjhjhj. Best times, truly.

Idk this is probably not self-care but I got a small job working with Austrian German and it gnetflix the chance to save up a bit and add it to my resume and also hopefully get my mother to shut up about my non-existent job prospects for a bit, so that’s kind of helping in making me feel a bit more like I’m Being An Adult (also because it means I have to learn how to change my insurance and finance department stuff now, yey).

Tagging: @languages-and-else @psychicbouquetblaze-stuff @the-real-daddy-van-der-bellen @sunsetcurveofficial if you feel like doing it, also sorry @we-are-not-amoosed it became such a rambled long answe on almost everything hjhjhj

[ramen-hair-denki]

Hi, can you tell me about Characters? Literally anything you want to share, anything you've been thinking about lately, or new realizations about the characters?

Sorry I'm not being very specific, I just got back from work and I am somewhat brain-dead. Please make the answer as long as you feel like writing, atm I would happily read a small novella about your ocs (but no I will not pick up a book, too much work, why, brain?)

Thank you Kace I love youuuuu 💜💜💜

Sorry this took ⏃ while lol, ⟟ was hanging out with my friends and ⟟ have ⏃ lot of characters

I’ll just go down the list of characters ⟟ have so far and give you all the info ⟟ have on them :D

(Disclaimer ⟟ literally have no names for them, ⟟ think the mechanic is going to be Elliot though)

First off we have MC

MC is their placeholder name for now

They are 16 and are an only child

Their parents were super loving, like think the Addams family but not gothic lol. ⟟ have so many ideas about how to show that throughout the story, my favorite idea being them watching an old family video on bubz’s screen.

It would show clips of holidays, big events, and soft moments like dancing in the kitchen. Just overall ⏃ very lovey vibe.

⟟ have ⏃ vivid idea of this being an animated show, so the episode would seem like ⏃ flashback into MCs past, showing their mother and father both working in the medical field, how much they loved each other and MC and just overall ⏃ great family episode before you see the screen go black. You can faintly see the reflection of MCs crying face before the camera switches to their side as they hug their knees, sobbing.

Next up we have this guy, like ⟟ said no names but ⟟ love him

He/they, 17

Kinda ⏃ big brother type, absolutely loves nature and going outside, will ask if you would go on ⏃ hike with him

He’s ⏃ wood worker, picked it up when he was ⏃ freshman and just took off with it. Builds ⏃ lot of the furniture that the group uses in their main house.

They also play the trombone, ⟟ have no idea why ⟟ just think it’s funny, definitely would play loudly to annoy people

They/them 16

They can sew, is really good at paintball, and knows ⏃ LOT about plants

⟟ accidentally started shipping them with the last guy and now ⟟ just think it’s so cute, just the two of them going on hikes, talking about different plants and just enjoying each other company.

They can also play the piano and the drums

Next up is ⏃ character that I’ve technically posted about before because she’s one of my bnha ocs.

⟟ kept ⏃ lot of info ⟟ already had on her, 18 years old, she/her nonbinary, good at self defense and fighting techniques, enjoys reading, and has basic first aid knowledge.

Her best friend is ⏃ trans woman that I’m thinking of naming Sarah after ⏃ trans woman ⟟ know irl :)

18, she/her

She also knows basic self defense because she and her friend took classes together since they were 8

She can cook really well, tends to cook for the whole group if they aren’t feeding themselves

She doesn’t like thunderstorms and usually needs to have headphones in during them so she can calm down

Definitely acts like she doesn’t like the others but would probably kill someone for them

19 (the oldest and shortest of the group) she/they/zem

Definitely ⏃ mom friend, can knit and sew, bake, dance, and garden. Very self sufficient but tends to forget to take care of zirself in the attempt to take care of everyone else, seeing as they are just kids.

They are very social and tends to need to be around someone at all times, even if it’s just sitting in the same room as someone else without talking.

18, she/they, 6’4, huge woman ⟟ want her to hold me

On the artistic side, draws, sings, and used to be in color guard

Definitely ⏃ cuddler, has an on going joke with mom friend just about both of their heights

18, he/they, resident white boy

Honestly Idk how this guy fits into the story yet, he’s very underdeveloped, all ⟟ have about them is that he is ⏃ history nut, literally has so many dates and information about history in his head why does he ever know this stuff.

They also are pretty great at math, can do ⏃ lot of quick multiplication and division in his head

He’s ⏃ goofball and tries to keep people’s spirits high even if it’s at the expense of his happiness, definitely tells stupid puns and makes self degrading jokes about themself.

17, she/her

Another underdeveloped character, she’s one of the more recent ones

I’m going to have to do ⏃ lot of research on Muslims because ⟟ really wanna get her right

So far just for simple character stuff she likes to garden with the mom of the group and she enjoys dancing and listening to music

————————

That’s pretty much all ⟟ have for now, ⟟ need to think more about them and ⟟ swear ⟟ need to get some damn names for all these guys ⟟ need to be able to talk about them and how they interact with each other

[skiasurveys]

494

Name: skia

Country: Canada

Age: 23

Gender(s): female

Height: 5’1

weight: 145

eye color: brown

skin color: white

Heritage: French, Swedish and Ukrainian

Relationship status: taken

Are you physically healthy? Yes and no

Are you mentally healthy? Nope

Job?: none atm

school: Rdc

Favs:

Animal: wolf

Flower: don’t have one

Movie: the lion king

TV show: this is us

Music: classic rock

Band: queen

Video Game: animal crossing

Gaming Console: ps4 or switch

Name: don’t have one

Person: jennifer

Love life:

1: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah

2: Do you love them? Of course

3: Are you still in love with an ex?no

4: How many people have you dated? Like 4

5: Do you think you’ll get married? I’m not sure

6: Have you ever been emotionally/physically abused in a relationship? -

7: Have you ever hurt your partner by accident without knowing it? Yeah I always apologize after

8: Whats important to you in a relationship? Communication and loyality

9: Do you have to see them everyday? ( or hear from them) before we lived together , yes but since we live together now he doesn’t need to text me every day cus we see each other daily but if he’s gone away then yeah lol

10: Do you think you can love someone within 2 weeks? I mean maybe but also no..

Friendship and Family:

1: How many friends do you have? Like 5

2: What type of friend are you? I’m not sure. The one who makes jokes

3: Have you ever been friends with someone for longer than 7 years? Yeah I think the longest js 13 years

4: Do you have one best friend, more or none? I have 2

5: Have you ever had a friend just stop being your friend and you never knew why? Yeah

6: Do you get along with family? Yes

7: Do you have a family member you hate? A few lol

8: Does your family accept who you are? Yeah

9: Are you an only child or have siblings? Sister

10: Do you have parents that still live together? My dad died so

School:

1:What grade are you in? Not in school

2: Are you in Middle, High, or college? ( or neither)? College technically

3: Whats your favorite class? Art

4: Do you have a fav school year? Prob grade 12 was the best lol

5: Are you a good student? I was

6: Do you think homework is good or bad? I think it’s stupid. I think kids should only do homework if they don’t finish in class. But it’s not fair to them.

7: Have you ever had a teacher who was really funny but had poor teaching skills? Yeah

8: Is your GPA high or low? Middle

9: Do you like to particpate in conversations in the class room or are you the listener? I rather listen

10: Do you take part in extra school events? (eg. Plays, sports, leadership,clubs) nah

Health

1: Do you need to lose or gain weight? Lose

2: Have you ever had the swine flu? (H1n1) yeah lmaoo

3: Do you like to go to the doctors? No I get anxious

4: Have you ever puked in school or at work? Nope I don’t think so

5: Have you ever been extremely sick where you couldnt even leave your bed? Yeah a few times I think I had covid lol

6: Do you hate puking or does it make you feel better? I hate it but it always makes me feel better after

7: Have you ever coughed up blood? No

8: Should you be eating healthier ? Yeah

9: Do you lie to your doctor? No

10: Have you ever taken too much advils? Yup

Mental Health:

1: Do you have a mental illness? I have A few

2: Do you take anti-depressants yes

3: Are you mentally stable? No lmao

4: Have you ever been misdiagnosed? No

5: Do you think you have an disorder but havent been properly diagnosed yet? Maybe

6: Is self diagnosing good or bad? Bad but I get why ppl do it bc they don’t have access

7: Should we give more money to mental health research? Yes!!

8: Do you think everyone has a chance to over come their mental disorders? Some maybe like anxiety possibly but most are jsut cus your brain is fucked

9: Would you ever not date someone if they had a severe disorder? ( Schizophrenia,BPD, mood disorders) Nope. Only wouldn’t date someone who had a mental health condition if it affected me very negatively

10: Does mental illness run in your family? Yeah

SEX

1: Virgin? No

2: what age did you lose it? 19

3: Did you take sex ed? Yeah from 4-12 grade

4: Does size matter? Sometimes....

5: Whats your favorite poistions? I like doggy or cowgirl

6: Does virginity exist? I mean I guess

7: Do you think sex is overated? Ehh no i

8: Is making love and fucking different? Yeah one is romantic other can be just for pleasure and to cum

9: Is it important for both genders to understand eachothers bodies? Yes

10: If someone was a virgin and was raped, did they lose their virginity? I mean technically yeah but I also think no I think virginity should be a consent thing

Check the box:

1.My hair color is: [x] Brown [] Black [] Blonde []Red [] Funky colors [] Auburn [] more than one color

2.Eye color: []Blue []Grey [x]Brown []Light brown []dark brown []green []amber [] I have two different colors of eyes

3.I am a : []Male [x] Female []Trans Male [] Trans Female []Gender Fluid [] I dont have a gender []Non Binary [] other

4: I am: []Fit [x] Average []Skinny []Fat

5: I love my : []Hair [x]Eyes []Smile []Teeth []Skin []everything about myself []None of these

6: I hate my: [x]Hair []eyes []smile [x]teeth []skin [] everything about myself [] I dont hate anything about myself

7: My feet are: [x]Small []Wide []Narrow []long []large []Ugly [x]Pretty

8: I have a hard time: [x]Finding something to wear []Making Friends [] making food []staying focused

9: I am: []Employed [x]Not employed []retired []I can’t work []Self employed [x]Looking for a job

10: I love: [x]the moon [c]the sun [x]the stars [x]our galaxy [x]planets

Bold what is true:

I am Funny

I am a girl

I have no hair

I have curly hair

^ I hate it

I have straight hair

I have a dog

I have a cat

I have both

I love to get drunk

I don’t drink

I love to smoke weed but i hate smoking cigarettes

I love both

I rather have one best friend than 20 friends who i am not close with

My dad died

My mom died

My parents are both dead

My parents are alive

I like to touch my bruises

I have funny teeth

I love Mcdonalds fries

Sometimes when Im alone I sing as loud as I can

even if i cant sing

I believe in God

I believe in the butterfly affect

I hate video games

I wish I was taller

I can’t understand math

I am very good at writing an essay

I never had sex before

I love Mac N Cheese

I love Disney Movies

I prefer Dreamswork over Walt Disney

I am going to College

I finished college

I wish I went to college

I hate my job

I am the boss at my job

I have a feelings for a friend but i cant tell them because it would ruin our friendship

^ I have feelings and i told them

I wish soda was healthy

I sleep with the window opened

This survey was too long

[blossomhcney]

( brent antonello. 34. cis male. he/him. ) in texas, thomas horne is more commonly known as tommy. they’ve been living in newton for thirty-four years and currently a florist. some say they are resentful & emotional but i’m more inclined to believe those that say they’re calm & trustworthy. if you walk by their house, you can sometimes hear river of tears by alessia cara playing from their window. ( blood stained dog tags, muddied boots, the smell of freshly cut flowers, rose thorns pricking soft skin, early mornings that lead to late nights. ) 

yes, yes. i am back again with yet another character. pls feel free to hit me up for connections with my lil love bug ! he is my fave baby atm i love him so much do not hurt him. or ...... or do. 

PINTEREST BOARD !

NAME. thomas malcolm horne. NICKNAME. tommy. AGE. thirty four. GENDER. cis male. PRONOUNS. he/him. SEXUAL ORIENTATION. homosexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION. homoromantic. HOMETOWN. newton. OCCUPATION. owner of the bloom room & horne family farms.

ZODIAC. virgo. POSITIVE TRAITS. calm, trustworthy, honest. NEGATIVE TRAITS. resentful, emotional, guilty. LANGUAGES SPOKEN. english, french, spanish, arabic.

HEIGHT. 6′1 EYE COLOR. green. HAIR COLOR. brunet. TATTOOS. can be found on the pinterest board ! - with the addition of ‘aiden’ across his heart. 

QUICK INFO.

trigger warnings: pow, death, mentions of torture, mention of cancer.

thomas horne was born to mary and jacob horne on a stormy tuesday evening. he was the second born horne child, but not the last. they would go on to have three more children, growing their family steadily over the years. jacob had always joked about needing to have five children so they had somebody to pass their businesses down to when they died and whilst he was making a joke about it, he would have three children who wanted nothing to do it and two who would dedicate their lives to their family businesses. 

thomas was a shy child and he rarely left his older brother’s side, clinging him to as though his life depended on it when they went anywhere outside of their home. it took him a long time to finally become comfortable with the idea of being alone, not lonely, because he would never grow accustomed to such a feeling. he began to play alone and try to branch out and talk to the other kids at school. there was one in particular that almost seemed to take pity on him, but they became fast friends and, before he knew it, they were inseparable. they were most certainly his best friend in the whole entire world and thomas could not imagine a day without them.

upon discovering that his father had been in the army, thomas had become fascinated with the idea. the thought of helping his country and making a difference was so very attractive. he could not help the obsession as it slowly grew. looking at old pictures of his father, looking at his dog tags, listening to his stories. it was hardly thomas’ fault that he was as interested as he was, especially when his father described it the way he did. there was nothing wrong with just looking into it, right?

wrong. the second thomas began ‘looking into it’, he was hooked. he was absolutely determined to join and he longed for the satisfaction that his father had found whilst serving. his mother was reluctant to get on board with the idea, but she saw the way thomas’ face lit up each time he even mentioned going away, so how could she say no? his siblings constantly talked about how jealous they were that he was going to get out of texas, but truly, he was scared to do it. he was terrified to leave his family behind and become somebody new, somebody that he was so.. scared of meeting because what if he didn’t like them? what if he hated the person that he was to become?

eighteen came and thomas joined the army. the feeling was only to be described as elation as his father hugged him tightly and wished him all the best, his mother grasped his hands tightly and told him to write to her and call whenever he could. his siblings gave him small tokens of their affection and off he went. he felt like he had won the lottery and everything was going perfectly. his mos was translation and it was the best decision he could have made. 

just as he thought that nothing could get better, he fell in love. it was as cliche as it could be, but he slowly began to develop feelings for another on his team. finding out that he felt the same only made it better and more complicated. secrecy was something that thomas was highly skilled at for all his years of only spending time with himself, but it did not make things any easier. he wanted to be able to tell the world about the man he loved and he could hardly tell him.

he had been on patrol one night when everything turned to shit. he and aiden had spent the past few years discussing the potential of their future and thomas had been so excited to take aiden home to meet his parents because his mother would adore him. and he had absolutely every intention of following through with that. until he had been taken as a prisoner of war. not just him, the guy who was on patrol with him that evening had been taken, too. he would go on to spend the next year and a half chained up and tortured because he refused to give up information. the problem was, the information he was refusing to give up? he did not have. he watched as they killed the man he had been taken with and the only thing that got him through each agonising day was knowing that he would see aiden again. 

when he was finally rescued, they told him that there was nobody waiting for him and that he needed to go back to his hometown and not tell a soul about the experience. it took him a while to believe that aiden truly did not care, but he never came for him, so he resigned himself to the fact that he had cared more and opened himself up to heartache. and he had lost that battle. upon arriving back home, his parents were distraught at being told their son was alive after being told he had been killed in action. seeing him in the flesh was something else entirely and it took his mother an entire week to stop sleeping in the bed with him. hell, he needed that more than she did, because he couldn’t close his eyes without seeing images of the torture he had endured. 

after a while, he had been sat at home, not really doing anything and he needed to get back out there and experience life. perhaps not in the ways that he once had the joy and time for, but he needed to do something. he started helping out on the family again and helped his mother with the flower shop. he grew to love the bloom room more than he had when he was a child and he took a course to become a florist with the help of his mother. he finally felt that he had a purpose to his life again.

some months later, his mother fell ill and thomas threw himself into working at the bloom room in her absence. he was there before opening and after closing and people were beginning to associate his face with the face of the shop. when his mother died after a six month battle with cancer, she left the shop to him in her will. it was devastating, that after such a long period of her believing her son was dead, she got him back. but thomas knew that he could never have her back. she was gone and she was gone forever. 

now, he works nonstop at the bloom room and helps out at the farm most evenings and early mornings. he does nothing but work and spends what little free time he has with his family and the few cherished friends he still has. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

childhood best friend: i mean ..... this one is super cute and self explanatory, but they were the bestest friends as kids and teenagers and grew apart when he left for the army. they were the first person he came out to, they literally told each other everything and were inseparable.

first girlfriend: so, thomas had a tiny period where he thought he might be straight and this would have been the girl that sort of .... confirmed for him that he wasn’t. he was 16 at the time, so she would have been 16 or 17 at the oldest. it was not a ‘she turned him gay’ thing (which is not a thing at all but i digress), so there would be no hatred here, but we can discuss this in length. 

first boyfriend: now, this was literally right after his first girlfriend. they weren’t even technically dating, but they took his virginity and he took theirs and it was cute and they ‘dated’ right until he left for the army and he will always cherish them for giving him the experiences he felt he needed before he went off to grow up.

close friends: literally anybody that would wanna love down a lil damaged army boy who secludes himself and want to help pull him out of his shell. he’s basically gone back to his childhood ways of closing himself off so pls feel free to drag him tf out.

and uh anything else y’all want !

[oleanderblume]

Unrelated but OMYGOD. My clown series reached 1k reads on wattpad.

Which isn't super awesome because its only due to the sheer quantity of chapters I have but I need to rave and spoil it cause I'm super excited about what I'm planning and no one i care to tell gives a shit so I'm dumping it into the void that is tumblr.

So. Im writing a book series called Caring For Your Clown. Its about this trans kid named Oliver and he is sort of an asshole.

Well not sort of, he is an asshole. But a RELATABLE asshole.

The story sort of drops you in 6 months after the mysterious and tragic (and traumatic) death of his mother Marie, who was a scientist alongside her husband and Oliver's step father Jon at a lab that specializes in physics mainly.

They were working on a machine with an unstable particle that caused a..tear so to speak, in the fabric of dimensional space and she got torn into tiny little bits. :3

But apparently before this occurred, Marie was in contact with an alien race called clowns 🤡 (really they are interdimensional traveling amoebas that take the shape of humanoid clowns lol)

One of which pops up in Oliver's life completely unexpectedly for no foreseeable reason and her name is Dindet and she is absolutely precious.

Basically its a saga and each book ranges in about 30k to 50k words. The first book centers around Oliver learning about this weird alien houseguest and also the immediate fallout of the death of his mom because surprise surprise! His biological dad who is a terrible abusive fucktard rolls back into his life with the intent to take custody of Oliver and that is no good!

The entire arch Oliver's goes through is literally the title of the series. Basically learning to be caring and compassionate while ALSO dealing with grief and interdimensional shenanigans.

One of the things I found really fun (it was unintentionally done but now I like it so its intentional now.) Is that each book roughly represents the 5 stages of grief.

As the first one is anger. Oliver is mostly passed the fuck off that this dumb alien clown sauntered into his life and thought it would be neat to CARE about him like he was a PERSON with FEELINGS. Irrationally angry, because he blames her for the loss of his mom (i mean so does his dad who goes through the stages of grief slightly slower than Oliver does) and uses her as a personal emotional punching bag until he realizes that SHE got his bio dad to concede his appeal for custody via literally stalking him and making him so paranoid that he was deemed an unfit parent >:3

All the while too, as the main focus is on the two characters of Oliver and Dindet, there is a background plot leading up to the second, third, and fourth (possibly up to 6 books) of the clown authorities looking for Dindet. And also the checkovs gun that is his neighbor.

The second book is mostly erring in the bargaining side of the coin for Oliver while Jon goes through his stage of anger. Oliver learns more about Dindet but doesn't quite trust her as she is clearly hiding information and KNOWS his mom. But she won't talk. Meanwhile, his neighbor working on a completely different project gets his hands on some clown matter and goes apeshit with it to build his energy machine.

We also learned more about the type of person Dindet is, which is naive and caring but also incredibly self destructive and reckless. By far a major people pleaser with huge self love issues. While Oliver is more of a "i don't give a shit what you think" though its more a facade he puts on to protect himself from rejection :/ he is far more comfortable in his own skin but external factors can make him freak out a little and he is terrible at talking to people.

It culminates when the project Jon solicited Dindet's assistance in is wreck by her own hands and Oliver's growth completely backtracks to the point that he finally manages to get our clown to leave (only for her to be clownknapped by his whole ass fucking neighbor to be used as the conduit to his energy machine)

And yeh, Ols almost immediately regrets his actions (though at first its more denial that she actually left) especially when he catches his neighbor using her as fuel for his machine to the point that all her fucking matter is completely burned away via electrical current! >:3

THEN Oliver gets to the depression arch >:3 (i haven't written this part yet so its up in the air atm)

Basically, with his mom dead and now the only person who could reasonably be considered his friend ALSO Basically dead, Ols falls into this really bad streak of just walking backward in his grief. Anger, denial, bargaining, the whole shebang. But THIS time the lab and the government AND the secret clown police are all in cahoots to cover up what happened at the lab and to do that they need to get rid of Ols and his dad to allow their plot to work. (Will be revealed later)

So throughout the first two books I've been alluding to the leader of the clowns via Dindet's ostensible paranoia and their name is Smile. They have underlings though and one is named Poppy. So the clowns get into the lab and convince Jon to send his son to a treatment facility for therapy under the thin veil that it will protect them from the repercussions of the machine. Oliver is not to upset about this though because he has been to therapy before from his past with his bio dad.

Except obviously the clowns don't want to actually help anyone. Their goal is to wear my boy down until he ready to die because- did I mention this was middle grade??

Anyways. This particular book I want to develop my potential romance between Douglass (Oliver's kid neighbor) and Ols and also deconstruct Oliver's personality via flashbacks that parallel the events in the story so we understand why he reacts the way he does to things and also i think it would be neat that the clowns technically succeed in their plan to draw out Dindet the wanted criminal by using the person she cares most about against her. By making him want to die!!

Then! For the next book, I'm planning on having more clown infiltration, more bonding between my children and romance between my boys because oooohhh boy am I gonna have fun tearing everyone apart when the real fucking deal Smile shows up and fucks shit up. Smile is my main villian and a veru fun and manipulative one at that. She uses Oliver to get to Dindet and eventually catches the both of them, revealing clowns to the entire world right before snatching them back to the home base the Cornucopia.

This is where we learn all the information we have been wanting and building up to about Dindet >:3

She is a criminal because she has Essentially tied a doomed universe to the Cornucopia in a never ending time loop because she is so heckin big that every time that universe is torn apart, she jumps back in time and DIES in order to recreate it. (She's the big bang yo)

That isn't the only reason though. Oliver comes to learn that his mom was FRIENDS with Smile. And Smile was the one who tore her apart in the machine scattering her subconscious in the literally timeless Cornucopia (time doesn't exist there so aging, death, anything like that is completely halted) and MARIE who has been half alive and omnipotent this whole fucking time has been trapped in the Cornucopia unable to see her family or child but fully able to see a know the infinitesimal inevitability of the destruction of his universe. So what does she do? She PULLS DINDET PUT OF THE ABYSS AND TELLS HER TO GO BE FRIENDS WITH HER KID TO KEEP THE TIME LOOP GOING.

And this has happened before. Like this book series is literally ONE (1) version of events that have been stacking up on top of eachother for millenia. The reason Dindet shows up in the first place is because she can partially see these past loops and the remnants of her love for Oliver keeps her coming back YO.

But while all this lovely information is being shared, Dindet is in clown jail and Oliver is treated as a pet to Smile. He tries to stage a break out and fails and what does Smile do? She turns him into a got damn monkey!

And uses him as literal fucking bait to a starving Dindet in order to justify her sentence (which is obviously death)

It almost works too, if it weren't for the fact that these two kids are BEST FRIENDS NOW and would legit die AND kill for eachother, Dindet pushes Oliver out of the Cornucopia (he is still a monkey boy btw) into his universe which inadvertently scatters him.

(A human person can enter the Cornucopia but if they leave, their molecular structure will destabilize in a slow and painful way until they literally are nothing left so that sucks)

This is where I want the next book to start tbh. Now back at home without his friend, as. A. Monkey. Oliver find that his entire home town is under lock down and strict control by the clowns who have now infiltrated the government and are putting plans forth to rebuild the SAME MACHINE his dad and Dindet built to bring about the destruction of the universe. (They want to do this because if they prevent Dindet from jumping back in time, they can end the time loop and get on with their lives)

So ols has to essemble a rag tag crew of Douglass and some other classmates and figure out that all the goop floating around belongs to Dindet (bruh. She is the size of the universe like. There is a lot of her to go around) and they can technically use it as gateways into other dimensions to gather an arsenal of GIANT BABY ANIMALS AND SQUIRREL BIRD CATS AND DRAWN TO LIFE ANYTHINGS so they can try to 1. Bring back our clown gal who is the key to fixing this and 2. Take on the now heavily fortified lab in order to get Olivers and Douglass's dads back.

All the while my boy is slowly dying >:3

Eventually, Oliver finds a way to get Dindet back but its at a cost :/ he tricks Smile into turning our clown organic to prevent her from being able to control any of her matter whatsoever and the cost of it is that Smile is VERY bad at making humans, so she basically traps Dindet in a catatonic meat sack that doesn't have half the organs it needs to function properly :/

To make her not be organic anymore they gotta uh..kill the tumor that is an organic half body (which yes, does have nerve endings) which eventually allows Dindet to be 100% clown again.

They break into the lab, but its basically too late. Reality is fractured and the multiverse is imploding in on itself and in the midst of all of this, Ols and Dindet are careening through the vacuum of an entirely empty space, dying of starvation and scattering and the only option left is to jump back in time to start the loop over again.

It is heartfelt and it is good and pure and the last moments they share together perfectly bring this loop together because in the VERY FIRST BOOK Oliver asks why Dindet came and she says "you asked me to."

And their last moments together he asks her to come back for him. Like I CANNOT yall!!

But that isn't the end. Yet.

The real end is after they die and the universe begins and a single hand pushes through the stars and pulls out a little orange bean. And it's Marie, pulling Dindet put of the Abyss this universe that is so intrinsically tied to the Cornucopia that it literally creates all the fucking clowns.

Its not supposed to be destroyed. And the reason eveeything falls into place so perfectly and things always go the same way is because ita already been seen and already been narrated. By Marie.

The WHOLE ASS SERIES IS IN THIRD PERSON OMNISCIENT BUT ITS ACTUALLY NOT. Its first person. Narrated by Marie.

Dindet knows Marie because she pulled her out of the Cornucopia. Clowns exist because Dindet was told by Oliver that she was and looked like a clown. The entire ass UNIVERSE exists because Oliver and Dindet are the fucking building blocks of life.

All of Olivers character actions and growth and eventual love (platonic) for Dindet shape their futures and all of it started because a mom was so concerned and guilty about leaving her kid in such a time of need that she would rather start the world over than see him suffer.

So..themes.

Throughout the series there are heavy HEAVY parallels between Dindet and Marie (partly because Dindet is a parrot and almost all her actions and reactions mimmick things that she has seen and the first person she met who wasn't out to kill her was Marie) but also because Dindet is the conduit through which Marie vicariously lives out the rest of Oliver's fleeting life with him.

There is even a point where Oliver genuinely questions whether or not Dindet actually IS his mom (she isn't obviously)

One of the themes I really love about this series is that compassion, unconditional love and care is deserving to even the most obstinant. Oliver isn't easy to love. He actively makes it very hard for anyone who could be a peer (even his own dad sometimes) to care about him. He constantly pushes people away to safeguard himself from potential harm and it takes three fucking books ROUGHLY 200,000 words to get this boy to understand what unconditional love can do.

How it can help with the grieving process, and help you become a more compassionate person toward others.

And also how your actions affect others!!

Like i said, Dindet is a parrot, she can read your mind (if she wanted to) but what she sees she incorporates into her own thoughts and as a reflection, Olivers harsh words and actions, even the most simple kind are recorded and even amplified. He is MEAN to Dindet. He makes fun of her often and gets angry with her and calls her stupid and she internalizes that immediately and it has an immediate affect on how she views herself. Oliver doesn't even think of this as something that happens until much later in the story! And gradually he grows past it and becomes more considerate and affirming toward Dindet and Douglass as a result.

And the way things matter. Oh. Every little detail matters in this story up to seemingly inconsequential continuity errors! Foreshadowing is everywhere from the first fucking sentence to the last because the things the characters do and say to eachother are simultaneously current and in the past all at once and no one knows which is which.

Someone got hurt? There are consequences, even unforseen ones. Dindet loses her hat. It is the most precious thing she owns and is a huge comfort item for her. Oliver asked where she got it? A friend gave it to her.

OLIVER MAKES HER A NEW HAT AFTER SHE LOSES IT. He is the FRIEND that gave it to her.

Almost everything in this story has parallels and consequences and twists and turns and outcomes that are wildly unpredictable (up until now because I've just spoiled the entire fucking plot but who cares!!)

Like...this is my baby. I care SO MUCH about this story and the characters in it that when I think about certain scenes I legitimately start crying.

I can't wait to publish the first book yall. I'm planning on publishing it either through a publisher or self publish, and maybe make a comic even? Idk. I just i really think people would like my dumb absurd story about clowns and I wish i could just spout about it 24/7...it breaks my heart that no one will listen.

[zombiepatch]

This is Long. I'll be dead honest, some of these have been a while and I listen to a lot of fantasy/sci-fi, so non-humans are kinda the norm. You've been reced Penumbra and Starship Iris, I'll ignore them, but yes to both. (1/6)

[continued]

“Kalia Stormfire's Economical Magic Services An uninitiated witch uses her powers to help local community members while dealing with the emotions she tried to be rid of. This one can be very serious and a little too real sometimes, but is such a good show. One of her clients is nb and ends up being a recurring character. Couple side characters too. (2/7)”

“Moonbase Theta Out: moon mining colony and the drama of "shut down". Fair warning, it doesn't turn out great for anyone involved. The first season is told exclusively from the communication officer's logs, but the second season has a a creative scientist and zir illegally sentient AI. Lots of shenanigans and giant tardigrades that are treated like puppies. (3/7)”

“The Bright Sides, Patient #6-C-1 of The Bright Sessions was basically a self therapy session for me. A person finds themself literally fading, heads to therapy to figure it out. Can be stand alone, but the whole show (superheroes do therapy) is good. (4/7)”

“Love and Luck Two guys open a queer (dry) bar in Melborne and basically adopt all the local hard off queer kids. Its basically a love story, both romantic and platonic, told through voicemails. At least 1 enby who figures out their identity in show. I feel like there is a second, but they are slipping my mind atm. (5/7)“

“End of Time and Other Bothers Actual play, 3 modern characters, in what is basically a storybook universe, go back to mythical times and try to stop time from being destroyed before they technically existed. A relatively important NPC that is currently traveling with them. Inn Between Found family tale told through the down time of an adventuring party. The nb half-elf (half-dwarf? I think) kinda ended up as the party leader since they are Old. (6/7)”

“Autonomic Actual play, family friendly. The Nomics where wiped out 12 years ago, the next generation is finally filling the gap they left behind. At least one teacher, maybe a student too but don't quote me. Startripper!! Feston quits paper pushing job to become a planet hopping jack of all trades. Everyone is an alien, gender doesn't always apply. There's only like one, one-off human and the producer is nonbinary themself (7/9 whoops)”

“Campaign Skyjacks Actual play. Sky pirates that fly around in giant ships and ride giant birds and kick ass. ngl, I've got a crush on 1 giant, nb, fallen angel sky pirate (8/9)”

“Rusty Quill Gaming Pathfinder actual play. My actual favorite podcast. Alt-history steampunk with magic and all the pathfinder races and the absolute funniest players playing lovable characters. I'll stop there or I'll rant at you for an hour. Ok, this one is so far down the list because the main nb (half elf) character doesn't show up until ep 130, but there are side characters that are nb too, though some of them weren't particularly intentional. (9/9)”

“There was definitely a better way to do that, but I'd committed. Bonus: shows with nb creators/producers/cast (I'll be dead honest I don't remember if there are explicit enby characters--pretty sure there are--but the creators are cool): The Nuclear Solution Caravan (fair warning, NSFW) Modern Fae”

HEY THANK YOU FOR MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!! this is a far more extensive list than i was expecting and im DELIGHTED. my podcast list just got so much longer AND full of enbies which is exactly how it should be >:’3 

[ralfstrashcan]

3x21 Reaction / Commentary

I was seriously wondering if this was Alec because Magnus loss = melt down = shaky fingers but Alec would never voluntarily drink something so pretentious. But uuhhh I had thought Jonathan angry-flapped through the rift to Edom? Why he now here still?

More seelie queen crown, yeah!!

Not buying that whole “your demon blood is burning away your humanity” because, again, he lived years without being bonded to Clary so what's taken that “transformation” so long? Also, will he become like, a raven? A harpy? Oh no, I saw the promo. He'll be blond. Makes sense.

He just showed that he's not interested, stop harassing him you sick cougar.

Uhhhhh, objection your honor. That fake blade only contained like three atoms of the original Glorious. But whatever, details amiright.

Also if they wanna tell me it's the blade that triggered the transformation then a) wtf why would a blade designed to break something evil make the evil actually MORE evil wtf for a shit equipment is that b) can we expect some ridic changes for Clary too, that make her even more Mary Sue? c) if Lucifer was so badass, where is he? Something killed him, maybe? Since Jonathan is declared most uniquest thing to ever unique?

“A splendid pet bird. And he died a few decades back so I'd like to recruit you as replacement,. Whatcha say? I'll even drop bird themed pick up lines around you all day.” God I'm making myself sick.

BS when you think about it, because every individual is unique. Good luck salvaging the climate change and what not, seelie queen, on your heroic quest to preserve all that is unique.

#rejected, take that you prowling predator. Can you believe she annoyed him so much he just abandoned his pretentious cream drink thingy? So rude. Also nice touch that they remembered that thing with the flowers and Jonathan making them poor flowers wilt. Btw would that have worked if they were plastic flowers?? Haha ok sorry.

Wtf I'm very much not on board with the seelie queen having a weird Jonathan fetish. Also, if the sole reason she has it is that Jonathan is “one of a kind” then I wonder why she wasn't ruthlessly hitting on Simon the same way? Or technically, before Simon became a daylighter, on Cain, getting him to leave the sewers and chill in the seelie realm instead?

1) Wow can you believe they managed to spare Malec's drama 3 seconds of consideration before getting absorbed in themselves again? Amazing. 2) Dude, you weren't in control of your actions while Clary was brainwashed and very much in control of her actions. That's not really comparable? But whatever.

Some great “love” you've got going on there, Maryse, writing Magnus off after, what? Half a day? Two days? Smh.

???????????????????? So they want to tell me Magnus plastered his magic like a bandaid over the rift but didn't really close it? Well, I am prepared with outrage to point out all the ways in which this is bullshit.

1) There clearly was no such thing to be seen from the other side.

Since Edom and Earth are two different dimensions and on Earth's side there was no rift in the dimension's fabric anymore that obviously means if the wraiths slipped through that Edom crack they'd either be lost in limbo or flapping around in some inter-dimesional space. But they couldn't reach Earth. So I fail to see how this is a problem.

2) How the hell do the NY Shadowhunters know about this? Since from their side the rift was well and truly closed? They don't know that Magnus has to keep his magical band-aid in place? The only thing they have to wonder about is why the hell Magnus hasn't returned yet since Magnus proved in 3x20 that apparently interdimensional travel works with normal warlock portals and those fancy pentagram things aren't necessary.

3) Uhhhh if Magnus has to stay there to keep up the magical band-aid (since exit options clearly aren't the issue here) wtf won't he tire at some point? Am I supposed to believe exhausting isn't a thing in Edom? What happens if he has to sleep? (Sidenote, what the hell do they eat in Edom anyway? Will he have to roast some shax demons? Disturbing.) Anyway back to the topic at hand, if I'm supposed to believe that Magnus is THAT strong he can keep up this magic (a magic that was so enormous he couldn't even achieve it from Earth) for eternity without taking a break, then I doubly don't get why he can't just SEAL the goddamn rift?! And don't tell me it's because band-aid magic is something he can do, and different from  rift sealing magic which is something he can't do. Because again, 2x20 is a thing where Magnus proves that he is capable of sealing a rift; so the only explanation of why he didn't do it in 3x20 is because the rift was too powerful. Now correct me if I'm wrong but to me Magnus + Enhanced Edom Powers equals He Closes The Rift, not Weird Band-Aid Magic. Wtf.

HAHAHAH I CAN'T!!!!! THANKS MAGNUS FOR POINTING THIS OUT!!! AND IN THE SASSIEST WAY POSSIBLE!!!!! IT'S BEEN BUGGING ME SINCE 3x10 XD XD XD

Love that shot.

1) Thanks, Lilith, for confirming that Magnus is in fact constantly supplying the band-aid with magic and thus exposing this whole plot line as completely frakkin illogical. 2) Wtf Lilith, why the heck did you go back to Edom in 3x16 if you wanted to murder Jonathan????? IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL WTF 3) Where tf is Cain?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

Wow that escalated quickly. I hate that even though Magnus knows it's just a trick to get into his head it still hurts him, because this is how he is: alwasy second-guessing his worth. He deserves better from all of them, deserves more from them, so he wouldn't feel this so keenly.

Ok, good save, I was just gearing up for a rage about why the hell Magnus is more powerful than the literal mother of demons who could defeat everyone, even with his Ddom-Edition-Powers because come on. However, Magnus must know that this is just a temporal solution because recovering means at some point she'll be recovered and, well.

Also, this shot haha.

Hahahaha I see he inherited the hell puns from Asmodeus along with the real estate XD

I mean, yeah, and then he acted like a total fool in his last few days. Great way to go, man. #stillbitter

“People mattered to Jordan. People, their troubles, their pain...”

That was sweet.

HAHAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS

Probably off to do something to enrage me, so same as always.

Oh look, he's robbing a bakery because being jobless and needing food doesn't mix well.

OMG I SUDDENLY REMEMBER THIS FROM THE 3B TRAILER. You know, Luke being all creepy in the back of a car? Wtf, honestly I think I'll have even less patience for Human!Luke than I have Inapt!Werewolf!Luke. They're really testing me.

“....like Sizzy” Hahahah okay I'll try to behave myself. And I had time to prepare, it was obvious they'd use that inspirational thing Maia said for Sizzy purposes.

Yeah...... #irony #obviously me behaving myself isn't working out, who's surprised? I'm not.

Don't they have fire extinguishers in the Institute somewhere? I mean, there's regulations for that, right? Lemme guess, that's remnants of the Glorious fake sword that pierced her? And now she can't be with Simon without killing him, hahaha, all Sizzy problems solved XD

When I saw this (in the Sneak Peek, but still counts) my first thought was “Aha NOW he tries to find a solution but when Magnus first lost his magic he couldn't be bothered RUDE ALEC WTF” lol ahahahah

Question time: 1) Didn't he have plants in there last episode?

OH RIGHT HE HAD!!! What happened to them? *Sherlock Voice* Did he eat them??

2) Why didn't Alec wonder where the hell Lorenzo was? Sure, he's a little preoccupied atm with losing Magnus, but he should have realized Lorenzo was weirdly absent about five hours into his happy little loft occupation???

3) I fully expected the scratching to be Chameleon!Lorenzo vying for attention, but seeing it, omg my heart broke a little. Can you imagine the desperation?? Poor evil lizard baby.

You know, I find it inherently troubling that Alec assumes Magnus always had this lizard and has only now decided to relocate its terrarium into the loft's main room, instead of thinking Magnus got the lizard as, idk, a pick-me-up after the breakup. I mean, what kind of lousy pet holder does he take Magnus for? Not even mentioning he has one, never taking care of it? That's not Magnus. Alec should know better.

Als Bohemian so incisively pointed out, why would he have created a pet cobra that he calls “baby” if he hated reptiles? And while, granted, Alec might not know about this, I believe Cat should. So wtf.

.....................................they honestly felt the need to tell her this? In grave detail and that this was their first kiss? Why would they do that?? Or did she look at the tapes??? So many questions.

Lol okay I didn't even intend to be so spot on with the Sizzy prediction. More importantly though, she won't be able to shadowhunt anymore.

Why is anyone (except Magnus (and occasionally Alec)) left in charge of anything, ever. *sigh*

But I mean, at least there's this

Small mercies (aka comedic pockets in a vast sea of illogic shit) I guess XD

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA I AM DEAD I CAN'T HAHAHAH HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!

Jace is me, I am Jace

So.... many....... questions...............

Okay, so I'm severely confused. If this demon has info on what's happening in Edom right now, then either he left Edom after Lilith started gathering her army so there's a rift there somewhere, OR there's a way for news to travel between Edom and Earth, probably through, you guessed it, a tiny rift. So wtf, show, please explain because I don't understand.

..............................................................

The audacity. The fucking audacity. MAGNUS WILL BE DEAD, IS WHAT YOU SHOULD TAKE AWAY FROM THAT. NOT THAT THE RIFT REOPENS ARE YOU KIDDING ME WTF JACE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I EVEN CURSED EXPLICITLY I NEVER DO THAT WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Wow. Alec, can you please punch him?

Don't get me wrong. They're shadowhunters, of course it is their duty to prevent this to protect the mundanes. But, delivery?! Show some worry at the prospect of the love of your parabatai's life dying??? before continuing with business as usual?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAME CLARY, BECAUSE WTF?! I REPEAT, WTF!!!! Didn't she listen to Helen at all? It's not going to protect her, it's going to blast her to frakking pieces. Wtf how dumb is she??? Hääääääääääää?????

lol Simon, you'd just stab yourself in the eye with it XD But I appreciate the sentiment XD

I AM THIS CLOSE TO JUST, RECORD MY LAUGHTER BECAUSE I'M DYYYYYING OVER HERE OKAY HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA Also he should call Maia, because life as a werewolf suxx way less than life as a vampire. Then again, IMMORTAL HUSBANDS SIGN ME THE F UP, IMMORTAL ALEC WAS ENDGAME ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Okay, on a more coherent note. I LOVE this line. I was so painfully deprived of Alec throwing himself into risk and action just to protect and help Magnus during 3B that it's not even funny. So this was really awesome. But, consider this: if he really wanted to go through with it he'd have to wait like a whole day before the transformation is completed, so uhhh impracitcal.

YES. YES. PLEASE MORE OF ENRAGED ALEC SCOLDING THEM LIKE THE KIDS THEY ARE. (But, uh, ragefully running away from his sire in spe wasn't the cleverest move if he wants to go through with it immediately ahaha XD)

I mean, nice of them to contriubute. All it took was Alec (!!!!!) flipping his shit. It seems they didn't have the idea to look into something themselves. Lol I'm inclined to be with Lilith on that one, are they even worth it??? Smh.

Full disclosure, for the longest time I was sure those were burning dog shit piles XD

Can we talk about how Jonathan is at a point where he doesn't really seem to care if he lives or dies because everything is pointless to him? (Btw if I manage to actually write the epic 3x21+22 rewrite I have in mind then it'd start here.)

I mean this was smooth and all, but......? Wasn't Meliorn like, totally over Izzy? I'm meaning this in a premonition-y way, not just this line. His rekindled feelings come pretty much out of nowhere.

I get that this is the alliance rune from the books. But why the hell would she do that in this situation instead of a rune that allows Shadowhunters to survive in Edom? In which universe is alliance rune your first thought instead of resiliance rune?? Or just a plain Accio Magnus rune, ffs!!!Makes no sense.

This is epic and all, but excuse me while I roll my eyes real hard.

Also ignoring the seelie queen and her weird fetish 2.0 because who cares.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT LORENZO IS A FANBOY HAHAHAHA I BET YOU HE WILL CORNER SIMON AT SOME POINT AND BEG HIM FOR AN AUTOGRAPH HAHAHAHAHA

“As my first act on the Downworld Council...”

So you mean to tell me that from 3x02 til 3x21 actually only a week passed? Because the Downworld Council meetings are weekly scheduled??? Tf hahaha.

Hahahhahhaa I mean I totally get why he reacts that way. Also, may I ask the dreaded question: WHERE THE F IS CATARINA???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No honestly, I give up. I just. I give up.

Hahahahaha

“The angels wouldn't have given me this power if they didn't want me to use it.”

Premonition!Ralf: Ha. Hahahhahaha. Ha.

THE COMEDY WE DESERVE HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA PERFECT!!!! Not least because it's immediately followed by

which makes it seem as if Lorenzo is complimenting Meliorn's prowess as a lover LOL

SIGH. So in 3x10 it was the portal that allowed Magnus to EASILY travel back to Earth, not Asmodeus kindly giving him a lift. So then let me ask why the hell he didn't make a portal like this in 3x20?! Did he already know he wouldn't be able to seal the rift but would have to keep it closed 24/7? Ridiculous. Also, why does Alec even ask this, since he saw Magnus use that exact same portal in 3x10.

I think you should have held frikkin hands.

HAHAHA ALEC, HONEY, WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE ANYWAY???? “We're right here, next to those withered trees. There's sand on the ground and wraiths in the sky. Everything looks red. And from here I can see that one ruin!!”

Weird Lorenzo & Alec bonding is intriguing. That's all I'm saying on the matter for now. I'm reserving judgement.

(Edit: After watching both 3x21 and 3x22 this clearly marks the point where Lorenzo's Instant Redemption Arc sets in and simultaneously comes to a close. Thanks, I hate it. Let antagonists be antagonists, dammit. At the end of the day not everyone is a goody two-shoes. That's life. UGH. Also, let me introduce my theory that while traveling between Earth and Edom Lorenzo's character was ripped from him in a severe Plot Convenience Turbulence. What a shame.)

But hell yeah to Alec's emotions running rampant and him being unable to control the magic. Another headcanon confirmed (that I didn't really knew I had, lol).

Hahahahha dude could you be any more pretentious XD XD XD

Hahahahahahaha this is the best day of my life.

Hahahaha Meliorn just got promoted to one of my favorites. Better late than never amiright.

I get this, this taking stock conversation, from a meta standpoint. But BITCH CAN YOU FOCUS ON MAGNUS FOR ONCE IN YOUR SELF-ABSORBED LIFE IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK WTF DAMMIT

Yeah, me too. Who knew demonic transformations came with a villain hairdo make over?? Nature truly is beautiful.

Me, watching: I might be totally oblivous, but did this crown always have a stripe thing on the top, too? Ralf, editing this reaction post: Yes. Yes it did. You're not as observant as you like to think. Me, reading that: .......harsh

..........do I have to understand why he isn't running away screaming? I get the instinct to wreak havoc because everything hurts and is pointless but wtf, the seelie queen is doing the exact same things Lilith did to him. Using him, only seeing him as a power source that has to be cultivated but has no feelings, no worth, and weirdly kissing him. He should, for all intents and purposes, be running for the hills. (But also, uh, neat nail polish and rings, seelie queen. You've got style.)

HAHAHAHA I mean, I already prepared two Jeliorn Dumb Comics, but this is reaching ridiculous levels XD XD XD I'm soooo here for it.

Hahahahaha XD XD XD

“Runes bubbling back, incredible” Yeah, no shit. I'm not buying. I could even largely argue my point, making references to the seelies that got “treated” in 3x17 that weren't rendered half-human-half-angel but mundane, meaning they lost their angelic part, too, meaning the serum removes angelic blood as well as demon blood. But since I couldn't care less about Luke (right now or in general? That's your guess to make) I'm not even getting worked up over it XD

Dude, you're aware this is like the perfect opening for getting a verbal diss, right?

Wow, three seconds a shadowhunter and here we are with the racist jokes again. That was quick.

Also, let me say how exceedingly ridiculous it is that Luke just walks out of there with a “No thank you” and Evil Praetor Guy does nothing against it literally because Luke said “But blackmailing me would mean you're evil ;__;”

bitch please

Look, can we appreciate this a little more? Like, a lot more??? Can I pause the episode here and stare at this for half an hour or something????? Alec saying he's willing to just, leave behind life as he knew it, very possibly never seeing anyone of his family again, just so he gets to stay with Magnus? I mean, that's some Major Immortal Alec Energy right there. Serve me more please.

..................wow instead I get Clary depriving me of a Malec Reunion Smooch wtf?! Uuuhhhh no thank you!!!!

AHAHAHA THAT SUFFERING FACE HAHAHAHAHA OMG AMAZING Kicked Pouting Suffering Puppy Jace <3<3<3

Btw what Jace said about Simon really gave me something to think about. I'm confused but intrigued. I like.

[antivancorvo]

short answers are fine! 17, 18, 21, 23, 28, 33, 36, 38, 43, 44, 45, 52, 53, 61, 62, 64, 69, 77, 82, 86, 91, 97 sorry that I picked this many, I hope that's okay and you can really just answer them with one or two words if you want :D

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Oh you know the usual... rich, old. Jk, I don’t have big expectations, I just want them to love me and accept my stupidity lol. You know, a decent human being. That’s the dream.

18. Do you want children?

Eh, I’m not sure. The pregnancy itself scares me very much, so if I do want to have kids I’d probably adopt. But atm I feel like it’s unlikely, to be honest. 

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yep. I had to have surgery a few years back, and I don’t even want to go to the hospital again :D 

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Uhhh I don’t know? I don’t think so? Okay I can’t remember bc meeting a celebrity doesn’t mean anything to me :DD 

28. What type of music do you like?

I like all. Seriously. I listen to hungarian rap, kpop, 80s disco... so, pretty much everything. I don’t really care about genre, if I like it I like it.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - answered here!

36. Favorite clean word?

Okay wow, what is a clean word? :O 

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

I think two days. I hate to skip sleep, because I’m usually dead the day after, but sometimes we had overnight movie marathons with my sister. So yeah. Pretty sure no more than two days, one night skipped. It’s not good for you kids, please don’t skip sleep.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I can do a shitty russian-hungarian lol. 

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think so? You mean in my own language or when I speak english? Because I probably have an accent when I speak english.

45. What is your favorite accent?

I don’t... have one? I think? I like Scottish, but only bc of Outlander so. It’s fun.

52. Favorite food? - answered here!

53. Favorite foreign food?

Uhhh. Not sure? I mean technically pizza is foreign. But I like chinese? Well, my only experience with that is the chinese restaurants here and I don’t know how ‘chinese’ they are. But yeah. I don’t really care about cuisine tbh. 

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Of course I do! Only when I’m alone though, but I sing all the time when I do chores or when I’m in the shower. I love singing, it really helps me relax. 

62. Are you a good singer?

Uh, I don’t know? I mean, I was in the choir in primary school and I was always interested in it. I think I’m not bad? 

64. Are you a gossip?

No, not really. Not in my everyday life at least. I’m interested in YT drama though. It’s a nice background noise when I paint lol. I don’t even have to listen carefully to it and understand it all, which is the best type of background noise for painting. 

69. Extrovert or Introvert? - answered here! 

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Of course I did! Who didn’t?? Literally in my first year in high school we went out drinking with my roommates. We were 14/15? I think? But I’m pretty sure I’ve had alcohol before that. I didn’t get drunk though until I was older.

82. How fast can you type?

I can type pretty fast! I mean, I wrote a 12 000 word fic in two days a few months back when I really wanted to work on something. As opposed to my thesis, which was around the same and took me a month. So. I guess it depends lol. But yeah, I can type pretty fast, actually, I am that age who used Typing Tutor and took extra classes in primary school to learn how to type without looking. 

86. What are you allergic to?

I’m not sure, but I’m probably allergic to something. I always sneeze and my eyes itch early summer. It’s not as bad now. Also, a few years back when I first ate wheat germ my eyelids became swollen. 

91. Do you like your own name?

Yeah, I do! 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

I don’t think so. I don’t know much about my family history, but my mother’s maiden name is Dukai, and her grandfather spelled it Dukay, which was something only nobles did back in the 1800s. Yeah idk, definitely not royalty, but aristocrats? Maybe.