#u always have my support even if im just lurking

[sickeningly-sweet-letters]

hii, how are u? I've been watching so many movies and series that i came up with this idea

What about a actor reader with yandere fans? Maybe a actor reader with toma of fans and everybody likes her, idk how this idea came up to me but i wanna see how you would elaborate this idea.

That's all, have a good day/night😄

hello!! im doing alright, thank you! ^^ i hope you’re doing well! also- i love that idea! i’ll do my best to give it justice lol

have a good day/night too!!

🌻 yandere fans x gn actor!reader!

- an actor as popular as you are is bound to have plenty of fans, even if some of them are.. more devoted to you than others. but who cares, right? you love all of your fans! you proudly declared, yet did you really know what you were signing up for? your “fan club” pretty much took that as a challenge to show that they loved you most.

- honestly, these fans bonded over their shared love of you, but what else did they have in common? er.. not much. they all showed their love and devotion in different ways but somehow, they managed to create a perfect group to protect you from any haters or rivals and pretty much everyone! everyone but themselves, of course.

- these guys could probably be private investigators if they wanted.. they’re learning pretty much every much everything about you that they possibly could. from your home address, to your routine and even phone number. no matter how many times you change your number or anything, they’ll find it again and again.

- they actively sabotage your love life, its because nobody is good enough for you! you’re nice to everybody, but that means anybody is a potential suitor, regardless of if you like them or not. even your friends get chased and scared off! how dare they even walk the same floors you do?! expect a lot more “accidents” or disappearances near areas you frequent. they’re just trying to protect their precious star!

- all of this is you! your super fans all united for your sake! some of them stalk and take pictures, some just constantly send you gifts and homemade baked goods, and then some look up every bit of information to give everyone almost daily updates.. of course, theres the bold ones who get their hands a bit dirty, they’re the most in love with you after all.

- you’ll never be truly alone. your house is bugged with cameras and microphones in every room, theres at least one or two lurking outside. even when you go out, theres bond to be some fans just running into you and begging you for an autograph, a photo, anything! and god forbid you’re seen with a random guy, expect to see the poor guy on the news the next day.

overall, you’ve gotten quite famous. you make a lot of money and your fans are very generous in their love for you.. isn’t this what you have been working for? so what if you’re isolated? you can always rely on your fans to keep you company! they’ll always be there to support you.

[bedoballoons]

Can i request thoma and kazuha (seperate) with s/o thats recovering from self-harm? (Kind of like "you drew stars around my scars"<3)

(Im not sure if youre comfy with this but if u arent then feel free to ignore it<3)

The only things I'm not comfortable with are p*dophilia, Incest, and proships! Other than that I don't mind, thank you so much for your request and I hope you like this <3

I also just wanted to say, those of you who have s*lf h*rmed or are currently, I hope things get better for you...and I hope that your days get easier. I know how difficult it can be to get out of that dark place...just know you're not alone.<3

Genshin Men Headcanons:

~Them helping you recover from s*lf harm~

CW: Mentions of s*of harming, depression and scars!

(Includes: Thoma and Kazuha!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Thoma:

You snuggled deeper into Thomas embrace, his jacket hanging off your shoulders and his chin resting on your head, the two of you sitting in the middle of the room on the floor. The light streamed in through the curtains of the large window in front of you and despite it being afternoon...you felt so tired. The both of you had stayed up all night...,he could tell you were struggling with you emotions and he did everything he possibly could to help you.

In the end neither of you had said anything in hours, you just cuddled up together on the cold wood floor and it was enough..."I'm...sorry that-" You started, but he pulled away slightly, shaking his head and putting a gentle hand to your cheek as he spoke, "You don't ever have to apologize for having a bad night. I'm just so happy I was able to be here and help you in time...you're still clean of a new injury and I will do anything to help you stay that way. I love you so much...and I will always be here to help you with the difficult times."

Kazuha:

Kazuha held your hands softly in his own, his thumb gently brushing over the scars of your wrist, each one now closed and almost fully healed, leaving nothing but the mark of a emotional memory. You could tell he felt proud of you, it had been so long since you'd gave into the darkness...and yet you could still feel it lurking in the back of your mind, calling for you, whispering the terrible thoughts that made you want to break down, cry yourself to sleep.

"Kazuha I-...thank you...for supporting me and... helping me." Tears started to prick at the corners of your eyes, this was a happy situation but saying even the simplest thing out loud...was still so much. "I'll always support you...I want nothing more than to make you happy...to help whenever you need me to. I love you...and I'm so unbelievably proud of you...you're incredible." He spoke calmly, each word showing just how much he cared for you, then he placed a light kiss on your forehead.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

✿Hope you all have a wonderful day.✿

[infifi3]

ok but actually. i know i said this in the tags on ur post but genuinely i love ur faggy infinites i love ur attitude i love how u post whatever u want and put it in the main tags bc u are unapologetically urself when it is so easy to try and fit in. u have the confidence i aim to have for myself and it's so refreshing to see somebody who embraces being Weird <3 i've never engaged because i am unwell about people being aware of me but i've literally been lurking on you and the dog and hog gang for at least a year (i never really spoke much about liking them despite having interest for years) and. just. you're all so chill. the critical thinking, lack of judgement, this world needs more of that shit fr!! i hope u have a great day – good vibes from a transfag autism brained freak (and thank u for ur tags on my essay. i'm so glad other people care as much as me <3)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I IWISJ I COULS ANSWER TJIS AND KEEP TJIS IM ,MY IMBOX FOREVER RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO GLAD U LOVE MY BOYSSSSSSS<33333 RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! i usually try n segment my replys to address every beat but this is so much........ to my liddle tiny heaet........ im ,iteralkly cyinf rnn can you tell????? UIVTBJVJBJVBKJ. this means. the world to me<33333 im glad<33 im glad i can inspire some of that in u<3 like for the longest time i was literally larping as one of the normies :sob: like i get it 100% the want 2 fit in and b accepted esp in fandom is strong but in my case it is utterlly unsustainable 2 follow the crowd. i cant pretend i dont like what i like. i cant pretend to be normal r have normal relationships 2 things r have normal opinions jnkjjkjbjk. and its hard!!!!!! there rlly isnt a real tangible space to be fucking insane and into weird n gross shit n etc in fandom like there is for the sanitized kiddy friendly stuff or the hyper horny stuff, its an awkward middle line 2 tread.(n im wayy too autistic 4 fandom anyways.... lol) and ik im not the only one. i wouldnt b able 2 be so unabashed and real and freaky w/o the support of all the amazing ppl ive met in my little freak circle<3333(IT IS SOOOOOO cheesey n cringe-sounding but im being so fr when i say my weirdoes n infinite the jackal saved my life<3333333333 i literally probably wouldnt even b alive today w/o em<333 thanks 2 all of u for helping me grow stronger btw hehe....)

Every day i choose to be insane and gross and a freak and a transexual faggot and autistic and TOO MUCH !!! for meself obv<3 but also for the ones i love and ppl like YOU!!!!!!!!!! >:D i cant change the world w just my little paws. but i CAN b crazy on main. i CAN show everyone that you dont have 2 be afraid of your own interests for fear of not being accepted in the greater fandom<333 even if these ppl never rlly come out of their shell... theres always someone, someplace out there thatll accept u. theres always more freaks, theres always more faggots<3 even if you never come out and yell it to the world if i could inspire just a tiny bit of this love in ppl thatd be enough for me :)

anyways. lol. kjnobjbiubjk thank you<33 a lot<3333 i mean it<333333 so many words i wish to say in this moment but ik you get it<3 mwamwa<333333333

life is short babey!!! dont be such a stranger okay ^_^

[ryker-writes]

ok i’ve decided to send in my ask because the curiousity is EATING ME i wanna know who you’d ship me with.. ahem!! (PLS don’t feel pressured to ship me with rook or idia or vil or anything just because i’m biased!!! i wanna hear YOUR thoughts, ok ? ♡)

let’s start with my likes / hobbies ! i’m a big fan of movies — i could literally spend my entire week at a theater and never get bored, the atmosphere is just so thrilling to me. i love love love fashion and shopping, too. it helps me express myself without really having to talk (which is great because i hate people ^_^). obviously, i love to make art and writing, and if i ever get the time to sit and learn, i’d love to crochet.

ermm did u ask for dislikes ? i forgot. i dont like bugs too much, but i’m not deadly afraid or anything. peanuts. i hate peanuts sm. aaanddd i have a BIG FAT FEAR of deep water and i’m a trypophobe .

my personality is pretty simple — i’m a sensitive person lmao. i’m a big crybaby on the inside, but i try not to show it too much yk? i’m always anxious, always doubting myself, etc. i’m very quiet — usually people don’t notice me too much. personally, i don’t think i’m too interesting, but i’m veryyy talkative about the things i like ^_^

i forgot (again) if u asked for preferences or not. i like taller people, but if they’re shorter than me it’s not like i’d complain (COUGH CHUUYA COUGH HACK). hrrmmm… physical preferences ?? hair and eye color don’t really matter to me, but if i had to pick, dark hair. idk i’m simple lmaooo

OK I THINK THATS IT RYKER PLS DONT FEEL LIKE U HAVE TO DO THIS TY FOR LETTING ME SEND IT IN BUT PLS DONT PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD OK ?? <333

YESS IM HAPPY TO DO YOURS!! Don't worry! I'm taking my time to get through these requests!

"Hehehe welcome in! Take a seat and get comfy because you're one of my friends, so I take extra consideration with your matchup. First of all, I'd like to lightly bonk you for saying that you don't think you're too interesting. You are very interesting in your own way! But alas, I shouldn't bonk friends or customers.

So, I'll leave it to your match, Vil."

okay so I know it seems like I leaned into the bias but really Vil would be so good for you

you're into theater, fashion, AND love art and writing?? He loves that

Vil is big on quality time because of how busy he is, so he loves to spend time with you between activities

don't worry, the time he spends with you is almost always away from the public eye so you don't have to worry about people

he'll even practice his lines or talk to you about his new role or photoshoot coming up, and he'll always ask for your thoughts on it all

your opinion always the most important to him

of course you also get tickets and front row seats to all his shows

Vil knows anxiety well, so he's always there to comfort you when it gets bad and reassure you that you are amazing and perfect just the way you are

people say he's perfect, and he'll say off hand that if they think he's perfect then they should see you (and then he'll carry on like he didn't just say that line)

if you don't want to be in the public eye, he's perfectly fine with that

most of your relationship is private anyway

honestly, he kinda loves how people don't notice you too much because of how quiet you are

it feels more special to him that he always notices you and it means that when he's with you, he doesn't have to worry as much about people noticing you two

basically: he gets more time with you without being followed by paparazzi

he loves to hear you talk about things you like so much

Vil even tries to bring into into his routine and have you tell him about something you like while he's doing something (makeup, skincare, etc.)

he's very observant and can usually tell when something is wrong and will always switch into a supportive role immediately

I know you have his heart because he would drop roles for you and let you see him at his worst

If you see the peacock lurking around Pomefiore, don't forget to give it some pets, okay?

[koqabear]

Hehe, will I seem strange to say that I learn from you? 💀 help, I just love your fics so bad. I think reading your fics are writing tips themselves, and I learn a lot from them. Your writing way is beyond good. Your way of using your advanced vocabulary in such a crystal clear way that everything is pictured so good is a heck and killer of your skill. I don't care how long your fics are honestly. They make me wanna read more. The longer the better. I just feel like I watch a movie sometimes when I read your fics. That's why. Not only is it about making us picture well, it's about making us feel your writing, learn new ways to express things, scenery descriptions, relation progresses ( Killer instinct, cat and mouse, Hey emo boy, pretty privilege, whatever she wants, etc). These are all the things you so serve at, atleast in my pov. I learnt these, thanks to you (as my first language ain't english) and I absolutely binge read (also REREAD) your fics. Keep it up, Sol! You deserve it and definitely own my hearts of hearts with with you. I'll always support you and love you <3

P.S. I wanna be an emoji anon. I understand you're busy and you don't have to answer to me everytime. I just wanna be some cupcake 🧁 in your page. I'll see you around and lurk around in your inbox sometimes. You can answer me whenever you feel like it. See ya, Sol!

and if i tell you i teared up a little.... and if i start sobbing hysterically rn will you take responsibility

i'm like. so speechless right now i don't think u understand. i am genuinely at a loss of words, im so honored ?? everything you said is so kind and thoughtful, thank you sm TT it makes me so happy to hear you say that my fics can have such an impact, and you even listed out some of my favorites too 😭💔

ofc you can be an anon, i havent had one in so long omg... i'm trying to get more active on here again, so i hope to see you around more !

[operator-pillz]

id love to get to know you better tbh but im a nervous little entity who requires explicit permission to interact with another human because my fear of annoying someone overrides all sense of safety. beyond that i think your art is really impressive and the ideas you convey in your works are really interesting to think about even if just fanart. your posts tend to be incredibly entertaining to me even if i rarely interact but i really enjoy learning abt who you are as a person which drives me to stick around. i hope to get to enjoy learning abt you even if as just a background figure lurking in the distance and youll always have my support through any difficult times you have in life :)

OUUUU I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO U ANON I LOVE MEETING NEW PEOPLEEE IM SO GLAD U LIKE MY ART AND MY SILLINESS ….

[gabe-killed-me-with-ace-cream]

Ich habe 8.945 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

5 Einträge erstellt (0%)

8.940 Einträge gerebloggt (100%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@tarantula-veins

@asher-orion-writes

@tarantula-ash

@evenedelweiss

@dogboydeathgrips

Ich habe 1.578 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

#&lt;3 – 567 Einträge

#dnd – 295 Einträge

#neon glow – 271 Einträge

#toh – 138 Einträge

#sanders sides – 111 Einträge

#cardinal sins – 90 Einträge

#critical role – 82 Einträge

#yup that's me – 64 Einträge

#for future reference – 49 Einträge

#janus sanders – 48 Einträge

Longest Tag: 112 characters

#and idk what happened exactly but i think the gabriel of the group was like and then when we ate it he was like

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

idk if there's even a remote point of talking to u about my ocs babe, all you do is listen to me talking about my ocs.

Anyway let's talk about Caspian. I know u wanna know about Caspian.

Caspian is a support character to the protagonist of Oak, Ash and Thorn.

He was under Fairweather's care for a while, making him another Siren who is also a pirate (at least part time), as he travelled with her for many, many years.

He is technically a merman, half human and half siren, and has lived peacefully among both humans and Sirens in his 330-year-life span.

Like Fair, he wears a mask to conceal his scales when amongst humans. He has the power of compulsion and weather manipulation, as well as a power completely unique to him - the ability to raise the dead that had drowned at sea. This was a gift to him from the forest after he took over his place as a cardinal sin.

*giggles* I Do wanna know about Caspian!! :D

He sounds absolutely fabulous and intriguing (and I don't know if you ever confirmed my theory, but 👀👀👀)

Also the ability to raise the dead, holy fuck, please say more :0

0 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 25. Oktober 2022

#4

Happy Blorbo Blursday!

For a character of your choice: are there any extremely formative experiences that happened before the book and/or aren't mentioned in the book? If so, what is it, and what effect did it have on them?

Y'know, it took me a while of thinking, bc I'm not currently writing anything, but I am a DM, and as such I always have a story to tell

So! I will go ahead and say if you're part of the Froysil campaign, maybe don't read the next part XD

But there is a character that I'm very excited about introducing! It's name is Moirah and when it was very young it was "sacrificed" to keep an ancient being from wreaking havoc on the world. In reality it made a deal with the being, so they now share one body (the being grants Moirah powers and in turn they get to see the world through its eyes)

0 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 29. Juli 2022

#3

Oh yeah!! I write sometimes and I’ve picked up doodling again too! I really enjoy crafts and photography too but am sadly terrible at both :P

Well then I'll happily invite you to join Three Too Many Fics, originally only a writing server we now welcome all art forms!! We're always happy to have someone new join, and our mods work hard to put out fun prompts regularly :D

0 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 5. Juli 2022

#2

hi!! Do you have any discord servers you would recommend? I’m new to social media as a whole (I’ve lurked on tumblr for ages though) and I’ve been meaning to get more active socially… You seem to be very kind and welcoming so I thought maybe you’d have recommendations? Ty in advance

Hi :0

Honestly I'm not in a lot myself, mostly just friend servers, but if you're interested in writing or art (or crafts, photography, music, cosplay etc) I got a server or two that you might be interested in :0

3 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 5. Juli 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

You now require being surrounded by plants to live. What plants do you choose?

Jokes on you, I already require that XD

Uhm, succulents for sure, I've got a bunch of babies that I'm trying to rise, then my beloved Diva and, hmmmmm,,, oh yeah, my rubber tree, of course! Maybe some edible ones for cooking?

Oh and definitely chamomile, yarrow, lavender, plantain, ground ivy and chickweed!! Oh and blueweed(/chicory), of course!!

And then a fruit tree or two to round it out, and a field of pumpkins :D

(This is of course assuming I have a proper garden too)

Edit: I forgot about dandelions and daisies and violets and lesser celandine and I'm sure many many more, they just bring me a lot of joy XD

4 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 27. April 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[kalijhomentethi]

I’ll be back soon.

[sukunasweetheart]

hOi poe! Hope you're doing well with the moving and stuff but at least the exams are over! (I think hopefully maybe--)

Could I maybe request for a scenario where Sukuna has to deal with a very stressed S/O, where she just proceed to just lie down on the ground and ponder about what she's doing with her life

Anyways I hope you have a good day uwu

im sorry, this came around wayy too late but ToT i hope youre still around to read it! sukunas a bit more on the playful side in this piece, i hope u dont mind haha

word count: 736

A face of displeasure disrupted your blank stare towards the cream-coloured ceiling of your room, pulling you away from your mind numbing existential crisis. Sukuna was looking down at you with his hands shoved into his pockets, an imminent frown lurking upon his features. His mouth was moving, but you weren’t hearing anything. You pulled one of your earbuds out.

“What?”

He sighed, clearly unhappy about having to repeat himself.

“I said; what the fuck are you doing?”

It was your turn to exhale loudly this time, as it was a question that even you didn’t know the answer to, in all honesty.

“I don’t know. What am I doing?” you pondered out loud, the stress nibbling away at your brain.

He looked annoyed at your riddle of a response, but had nothing else to say on the topic. A few seconds of silence passed, before he noticed you were going to plug your earbud back in.

“You want something to eat?” he asked abruptly. Food almost always lured you back in whenever you were in a bad mood.

“No thanks.”

Finally plugging it back in, you then closed your eyes to insinuate the end of the conversation. He stood there for a couple more seconds, looking down at you as you closed your eyes to avoid his stare.

You felt the way his shirt grazed over your arm as he laid down beside you. Then your earbud disappeared once he’d plucked one away from you and put it into his own ear. You didn’t care to protest, and he stayed silent for the first few minutes, as well.

“This is a hell of a boring date.”

“This isn’t a date!” you retorted, huffing. Under normal circumstances, you would’ve laughed at the comment, but right now you were feeling so down and overwhelmed about a lot of things.

“If you’re so bored, you should go and find something else to do.”

“Come with me then,” he said, biting the inside of his cheeks - he was unused to feeling so clingy.

“I don’t feel like it.”

He turned to his side, supporting his head with hand while he looked at you.

“Awfully moody today. I thought that was my job. What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning at you.

“...nothing’s wrong,” you told him, shutting your eyes again.

“Lies. Tell me,” he insisted, pinching your cheek. You swatted him away, making a noise of irritation.

“I don’t know. I just…I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.” Saying it out loud, you felt like you sounded awfully stupid. You turned away from him, lying on your other side. He seemed to think for a while as he looked at your reduced state.

“Does it really matter?” he asked.

“...What?”

Sukuna reached out and began playing with a few strands of your hair, thoughtlessly fumbling with it.

“Just keep pushing forward, even if it feels aimless. Do what you can in the moment,” he continued, putting a hand onto your shoulder to pull you towards him - so that you were facing him again.

“It’s not uncommon to be unsure. Not everything can be elaborately organised and planned.”

“...Though I really do believe that even an airhead like you can find your purpose in life.”

You were about to hiss at him again, but looking at his face, you saw that rather than wearing a smirk of mockery, he was smiling at you with warm affection. It made you feel giddy, and a little bit of your depression was ebbing away.

“If all else fails, you’ll still have me to fall back upon.”

You sharply turned back away from him, rubbing at your eyes.

“...are you crying?”

“No.”

Sukuna shuffled closer from behind, and spooned you gently.

“How troublesome. Seems that I have a crybaby for a lover,” he teased, caressing your cheek.

“I said I’m not!” you denied, with obviously moist eyes. He began laughing out loud, at how you were fighting against such a blatant fact. You pouted at him as he sat up.

“Now. Pick a fast food restaurant that you’d like to eat from."

“...McDonalds…”

When the food arrived at the table, Sukuna unpacked everything for you - opening the burger box up, sticking the straw into your drink and even squeezing out the ketchup for your fries. And then, he continued to chuckle at you as you stuffed your face full, all while secretly heeding his advice close to your heart.

Masterlist

[z3nitsusgf]

WAAAA ive been lurking n quietly supporting ur fics (nearly all of them bc no matter the character or fandom ur writing n concepts have me sobbing throwing up creaming dying reincarnating n dying again)

SOO i rlly wanted to say thank u sm val for constantly supplying us with such good content honestly carrying the genshin dc community 🧎

however as we have pervy nerd albedo and discord mod xiao may i introduce to you closet degenerate kazuha ;;

kazuha the cutesy popular boy that nearly everyone has a crush on, that one guy the teachers adore, the one that turns heads wherever he goes (because c’mon, it’s kazuha! what do you mean you haven’t heard of him!?)— the designated driver who tells u its fine for u to get hammered dw reader, the one you’d trust your drink with n the one who even ur parents would approve of for sleepovers. but whenever you let him crash the night at yours, you always wake up with this weird taste in your mouth. or these few odd times that you woke up with a different pair of panties than the ones you fell asleep in. but it doesn’t matter because hey! look! kazuha made breakfast, what a sweetheart. so when he confesses his feelings to you, how could you refuse? he’s the most lovable boy you’ve ever met, straight husband material. poor little you doesn’t know what’s coming (literally) because all of a sudden, kazuha is sneaking you into empty classrooms telling you it’s fine, no one’s near and railing you so hard you have to skip your next class. sometimes he rambles on about how he finally won’t have to search for porn stars resembling you or how he won’t have to draw nsfw art of you himself (oh c’mon, he had the tools right there, how can you blame him!) kazuha who becomes this somehow adorable yet somewhat concerning overprotective boyfriend has all the tools at his disposal to never make you leave his side again. starting off he’d ruin the reputation of whoever wants to steal you away! oh that albedo guy? yeah, total nerd right? guess what, kazuha told me that he actually is a huge pervert— so gross. now no one even wants to look at him. xiao? oh right! kazuha said he apparently was super aggressive to him! who does he think he is? poor kazuha, he gets so much just for being himself... oh yeah. kazuha is a total mastermind and will do whatever it takes to keep you all to himself.

- 🍡 anon (if its not taken ofc!!!)

OH MY GOD IM GOING FERAL £]€,*\¥.

somno w/ perv kazuha and he’s sneakin into your room late at night, pushing aside your panties and kissing down your thighs. perv kazuha who swears he’s doing it bc he wants to see you happy, just wants a taste! and he’s spreadin your legs apart all slow and soft, making sure not ti wake you up, and he drags his tongue down the seam of your pussy, dipping the tip into your folds and trying not to moan out loud. perv kazuha who eats you out till you shiver and curl over, thighs trembling as you cream over his mouth. and perv kazuha kisses your clit and tucks your sopping wet panties back to normal <3

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)

gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted

a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03

prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.

warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up

Obviously, it wasn't the last time.

Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.

Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.

That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.

So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.

"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"

"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."

Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.

But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.

"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."

Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.

You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.

For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.

John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.

***

You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.

His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.

John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.

"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."

You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.

John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.

The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.

"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.

"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.

The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.

"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."

"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.

John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"

"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.

Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."

"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.

"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."

"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"

"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.

"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."

"No it wasn't, Ada-"

Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.

"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."

"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."

"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.

You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.

John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.

"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"

"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.

"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.

"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.

"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.

"Why didn't you?"

You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.

"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.

You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.

"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."

"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.

"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"

"We weren't thinking."

"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."

She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.

"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."

"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"

"We're done here, John."

He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."

The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.

"John, it should've never happened."

"But it did."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."

"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"

"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."

"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."

You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.

"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.

"I'd drive you home but obviously-"

"Obviously."

John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.

Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.

Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.

"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.

He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."

"Just how he is." You shrugged.

"Does he love you or sommet?"

"Fuck knows… does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Do you love him?"

"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.

Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."

He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.

"Iz… I don't know what to do next."

It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.

"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."

***

John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.

"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.

Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.

He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.

He should've never approached you that night.

He should never approach you again.

He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.

[pluviophile-imagines]

🎉 NEW GAME: Introduce your mutuals to everyone and what do you think of them? 🎉

oooo interesting....... ok. as we all know i cannot shut the fuck up this is under the cut bc despite me having less than 10 mutuals total i also apparently decided to soapbox at the end so im uhhhhh very sorry. not sorry enough to edit anything tho LMFAO

first off i wanna say that i actually dont have that many mutuals LMFAO i only just recently (in the last uhhh three or four months, over the course of this blog which has been around for going on 2 yrs) started rlly putting effort into reaching out and making mutuals. im also only including "true" mutuals here, people who I mostly interact with on tumblr and not through discord, bc shout-out to @venexus @tay-is-writing @scotchtapehanta and @myherowritings yall r some of my bestest friends but we're not close bc we're tumblr mutuals! we're tumblr mutuals bc we became close through discord beforehand, and thats a big difference imo. also i wanna note that this is in chronological order! and i wanna say most of these blogs r 18+ because that's the content i tend to consume, so please please please respect their policies wrt interaction.

imma start this off with @cellotonins bc cookie is the first true mutual i made on this blog and what a first pick! theyre an absolute sweetheart, i adore seeing them on my dash, and im so excited to see where they'll be taking their new blog. rest assured i will be lurking in their inbox the whole time🧍

@andypantsx3 andie andie andie my beloved....... funnily enough i found her through one of HER mutuals when i was on a Jason Todd kick. and then i absolutely devoured her masterlist, and the rest is history. andie is the only person i will read oblivious reader from tbh, i adore her writing so much i cant even be annoyed JHABFJHAFBV and ma'am you have perfected the art of just the right level of slow burn & length of fic i applaud you

@ofmermaidstories merm! what is there to say about merm other than if u havent read her bakugo fic surrender (when youre ready) then what r u doing reading this silly lil love bomb and not that??? merm is going places lemme tell u. shes gonna publish a book and be a huge successful author and i will get to tell my cats as an old lady that i knew her when she was writing anime fanfiction.........

@wuhllow willow my darling my bakugo sister wife. i made that up just now idk if itll stick. absolute queen of bakugo characterization its like she n i share the same braincell wrt him. every time she makes a bkg post i commandeer it and add my 2 cents i just gotta its a compulsion..... everything she writes makes me wanna write more

@ihatebnha caitie's so fucking cool and if i get my way i will bully myself into her good graces. if u want good convo along with good writing, shes the blog for u. caitie if u see this brace urself im going to be friendship-courting you soon and that IS a threat be ready for me to hop in ur dms at any time

@saintdabi vic holy fuck i dont know how i managed to get them to follow me...... im still a lil intimidated by them tbfh i always feel a lil like im annoying them IUSHBDF but the takes??? the hot takes??? about like EVERYTHING from characterization/meta to just. talking about real-life bullshit on their blog...... im always sitting looking at the convos on their blog like "no lori u cant send in five asks thats too much" lmfao (esp bc im usually reading them the morning after theyve finished......)

@suguwu ALSO someone whose support is a mystery to me HBSDFUVH bee.... u know im a bnha blog right...... ik im working on that gojo fic but why r u here (im not complaining) bee is an absolute legend and shes going to fucking slaughter me with gothic romance geto when that comes out,,,,,,,, like deadass itll kill me. also someone who's a lil intimidating but in a "my older sister's cool friend" kinda way O.O

@izuukii scouts a lil bit of an outlier so disclaimer we did technically meet on discord through their 404 server! n e way ive only followed them for a week or so but im loving how eclectic their content is LMFAO scout definitely has a lil for everyone which is so fun. also i cant wait for nov to end so we can sprint together again bc i swear my writing production has more than halved with sprint bot out of commission......

and finallly adding @sipsteainanxiety on the end here breaking the chronological order bc i have known shay for almost two years!!! omg we actually JUST met up irl 🥺 it was so fun; she should technically be wayyy up at the top with folks i met through discord but we interact on tumblr so much i figured it was silly not to talk abt her. my OTHER bakugo twin flame, we ALSO share bakugo braincells and she's conditioned me into writing a couple hundred words on a certain fic every time i see ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ for which i am begrudgingly thankful

i wanna note now that i included literally ALL of my mutuals bc again i dont rlly have that many! that includes some who i've only just started interacting with & i might not know well, so if ur on this list and going "wait we havent talked that much why did she tag me....." thats why LMFAO im terribly sorry if it puts u off.

and here comes the soapbox. im gonna be honest, i think the culture of mutuals on this site is..... well, not necessarily toxic or unhealthy, because making friends bc of a shared interest is so fucking cool! especially if you're both working hard on it—writing is so much more fun when you have someone to support you and cheer you on, and bounce ideas off of. thats one of the reasons i decided to be more active and reach out more on here! i need enablers yall. badly. pls enable me

but i do wanna put out here..... theres a strange result from mutual culture where it feels like EVERYONE involved looks at everyone else and thinks to themselves "theyre all closer to each other than i am, they're doing it differently and im not doing it right" and that feeling sucks. it rlly does. so i guess one of the reasons im tagging people im not super close to is to reassure people looking at this that like....... im still figuring this shit out too. interpersonal relationships are fucking HARD, ya girl is autistic she KNOWS, so like. take it one step at a time and try not to compare the way you're feeling to the way other blogs project themselves—you dont really know what goes on behind the scenes, how much anyone truly talks to anyone else in DMs or otherwise. these are blogs! you're not seeing every aspect of anybody!

and i finish it off with hey! if u are someone i tagged that i dont know super well and r thinking "wow i wanna talk to her more" (or someone i tagged who i do interact with a bunch and just wanna get to know me better!) pls do! im friendly lol. and if i havent yet i will be jumping into ur dms at some point. thats a threat. its inevitable 👁️👄👁️ i just need to be in the right mood

[pacifymebby]

I just need to rant to someone because no one I know cares about me enough to hear it and try to under stand me but basically I’ve been really struggling lately and I’ve been putting on a face so that my flatmates and stuff don’t get bummed out by it and I have this one flatmate who I’ve totally seen slag off other people for being miserable so I really try not to but it really pushed me over something quite minor that I’d just been worried about not even something anyone had done and I just couldn’t help but cry to them because I just needed to cry to someone and she told me to grow up and that I was crying like a baby and idk I just think that when you’ve never seen a your friend cry or get so upset to the point of tears before you don’t assume it’s over something silly Yano? And I’ve tried talking to other people about it and they just turn me down they just don’t care enough to hear about it they either fob me off or ignore me and I just need to tell someone that I’m really upset without them disregarding my emotions. Anyway I love your blog so much ❤️❤️❤️

Lovely idk what to tell you because you deserve so much better than the way your flatmate treated you. If you see someone crying, regardless of whether they are ur friend or whether they never cry or whether they cry all the time, you just give em a hug and listen to them and offer them support. That's just basic kindness and it's the very least you deserve. For real im about ready to go fight this bitch for u.

You shouldn't have to feel like you have to hide your emotions to keep other people happy. Your feelings are just as important as theirs!!!!

Anyway what I'm saying is I'm here for you and I wanna listen to ur problems and if I could I'd give u a massive hug. If there's anything at all I can do to help let me know.

Also I just gotta tell you as well, as someone who cries over fucking everything, do not feel bad about having cried and gotten upset, it's a sign you're obviously stressing out and struggling to cope and that's totally fine and honestly it's good to cry. You gotta release that tension somehow or its gonna drive u mad. You probably got tipped over the edge because you've been feeling like you have to bottle everything up.

You can always rant in my anons or dms or anything. Even if you don't want me to publish the anon you can send it in and know that I've read it because even if I don't reply straight away I read all of my anons.

Anyway my lovely i love u lots and I hope you're doing okay and I'm sending u hugs and good vibes and me and everyone who lurks on this blog have got ur back. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[anntidote]

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*. 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

i made this blog in july of 2020, and only started writing & posting in september. ever since then, i have already written over 70(?) pieces for the hq community, made a handful of friends, and everything seems to have snowballed since. i’ve seen so much sappy shit on my dash and it honestly makes me sick— but i’m truly thankful. here’s my lil spiel ♡

♡ my followers & misc readers.

thank you for taking the time to click on a post. notes, reblogs, comments— let alone, actually reading it. the fact that you enjoy and spend time reading my content, makes my day.

i can still recall the first requests i recieved and first couple notes i got. i cried because i didn’t think my writing was anything that anyone would pay attention to— but now, a couple notes is a daily thing. although i definitely don’t take it for granted— i really do appreciate you all. whether you’re loud as shit in my inbox or a silent reader. thank you.

you have no idea how much you all mean to me, and how much your support has impacted me through the latter half of 2020. let’s walk brighter paths together this year <3

and hopefully y’all get laid cuz holy shit y’all are horn KNEE sheesh

i’m honestly not any better LMAO

♡ my moots. (i might miss a couple of ya but shh ily all the same)

@liberhoe​ — you ass, thank you for being literally the most interactive/extroverted bih i know. whether it’s me- teasing you about upcoming fic ideas or your thirsts on a libero- i treasure these moments. fuck you thank you for making me **error** throughout the time i’ve been here... also, go drink some water.

@ceo-of-daichi​ — lydz!! thank you for always answering my unique social sunday asks and always being so kind. your voice is always soothing, and i hope you n daichi are spending some quality time together rn c;

@knightofameris​ — Y O U. you kind ass mofo >:( i hope you’re taking care of yourself. thank you for always being so so so so so so so caring towards me, and always tagging me in those cute lil games! i swear i’ll do them soon— but the spam likes got me buried like an animal crossing fossil 😔 anyway, i hope this year brings you better circumstances <3 muah

@atsumoon​ — HANA!! i hope you’re doing well, darling <3 it’s been a hot second but thank you for always checking up on me once n awhile. sending virtual hugs c:

@prettysetterbaby​ — jj, i’m going to fight tumblr because i’ve been trying to be your friend for so goddamn long LOL but i’m glad i’m being given a shot here. thank you for being so open with me, and not telling me i looked like a literal CHILD when i sent the matchup photos LMAOOOO love ya <3 may we become better friends this year !

@stelleum​ — holy shit i still cant believe we’re moots- um okay- d e a d a s s may i say; you, afton (also my moot but im too scared to interact cuz im a clown), saz, and another writer are the reason why i started writing for the hq fandom um- thank you for inspiring me and [most likely] a bunch of other writers in the fandom. although i’m not the most extroverted person in interacting, i want to thank you as one of your readers (and now your moot i guess ahaha *error*) for writing, as i truly enjoy what you put out. <3 stay healthy.

@soft-for-shoyo​ — IT’S GOD SAZ!! i’m sorry i haven’t been interacting a lot,,, i’m not exactly the most extroverted moot but congrats on the success on your december event! i don’t lurk i swearrrr *cough* much love & happy new year !!

@hisoka-married-illumi​ — i just became your moot and your chaos is very much welcome heh i’ve seen you in my motifs and have always wanted to interact but i’m 👉👈 so i’m very happy we’re moots now LMAO thank you for the kindness you’ve shown me and the fact you even read my trash content <3

@jeongccr​ — should i even consider you a moot? LOL you’re more of my son than a moot. thank you for always putting up with my bullshit when it comes to me fangirling about music. as a fellow army, i cant wait to bootleg more concerts with you- and i hope we’ll be able to see the boys live again this year. here’s to making more memories <3

♡ myself (brutally honest)

let’s do better and do more. i know you’re still miserable from losing a year or so of your childhood to something you can’t control- and that fact that you’ve gone through so much loss this year- i know you’re strong and capable of so much more. let’s keep our chin up, and remember where you came from. lias told us we’re the protagonists of the world, so let’s make it a reality.  

[akiology]

Hello, Are You There? || Part 2

Minako tries the number neighbor thing. Thinking it was an inactive number, she decides to vent and express her frustrations, turning it into a sort of mini diary. What she didn’t expect was somebody was actually on the other line and decided to send a message back.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Word Count: 4.3k+

Pairing: Akihiko Sanada x Minako Arisato

Note: this chapter includes a long text message thread between headphones and pancakes ehe and some slight angst jfjfdnjf im sorry the next one is gonna be fluffy i promise ; u ; ALSO i accidentally posted this w/o the proper editing so if u saw this b4 im sorry fhrkjfrbf

“Arisato, your grades aren’t so impressive these past few weeks, may I know why?” Miss Toriumi, the teacher in-charge of Minato’s class, asks with concern evident in her voice. This was so unlike him, he always manages to snag the highest scores and is an excellent student. Minato just shrugs nonchalantly. Miss Toriumi sighs, probably realizing Minato probably won’t open up any time soon.

“Arisato, I know you don’t feel comfortable opening up to me. But I hope you are at least opening up to someone. Perhaps your sister?” Miss Toriumi continues. Minato shrugged once again. Before Miss Toriumi could continue once more, a fellow student entered the room.

“Miss Toriumi, you are needed at the Student Council room.” Miss Toriumi gave a quick nod to the other student, and turns to Minato. “Well, I am needed elsewhere. I will take my leave, but please keep in mind that you can talk to me if you need guidance.”

Minato walked out of the Faculty Room and headed for the school gates.

These past few days, Minato has felt… lost.

He overheard his classmates talking about which career paths they will be pursuing, and he felt… left behind. His classmates have already started planning their future and they seemed so… certain.

Minato hasn’t felt the feeling of certainty ever since their parents went abroad without them. They said it's for work, but right now, he really isn't sure if it really is for work. Before they left, he heard them saying that ‘the children are getting bothersome to deal with’. Ever since then, the feeling of stability, the feeling of being sure about something has become a foreign concept to him. Do his parents still love them? Are they a burden? If he was wrong for thinking that his own parents most certainly love and support them, then what about the others? Who's to say he isn't wrong with everything else? Minato envies his classmates, because even though they are the same age as he is, somehow they have already gotten everything figured out for themselves.

‘Why couldn’t he be more like that?’ He could hear the voice in his head say.

This train of thought is the only thing occupying his mind for the past few days, and it has greatly affected his life. His academic grades, his club performance, and even his relationships with both his friends and his very own sister.

Ever since the seed of doubt in his mind was planted, the voice in his head started getting louder and braver.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’

‘Are you sure that’s the right choice?’

‘You probably won’t go far in life.’

‘You’re a failure. That’s why they left.’

He tried everything he can to drown out the voice in his head. He tried listening to music, hanging out with his friends, playing at the arcade, anything. Anything to make it go away or so that he can no longer hear it.

But of course, it is not that easy.

He wanted to talk to his sister, he really did. But he didn’t know how to. It was something he had in common with his sister. Despite being surrounded by many friends, opening up still remains difficult for the both of them. And what makes it even harder is that, he doesn’t know how to explain this feeling of his. Deep down, he is thinking that, perhaps, this was just something he made up himself and that it is not real. So he tried driving his attention somewhere else.

He decided to go somewhere quiet, somewhere hidden.

He let his feet lead him, with his loud music blasting from his headphones.

This mindless walking led him to the train station’s back alley.

It was deserted. Perfect.

He sat down and closed his eyes. Eventually his phone started vibrating. Picking it up, he received a message from Minako.

Sis: hey im in a study grp w fuuka and yukari

Sis: ill be late so eat b4 u go home

Minato was about to send a reply to his sister, when three older men approached him.

“Hey, little man. What are ya doing here?” One of them, whom Minato assumed was their leader, asked him. They didn’t seem too happy with seeing an unfamiliar boy at their hangout spot.

“Nothing.” Minato replied simply, shoving his phone in to his pocket and fixing his headphones into position. The men, however, were irritated by this.

“Ye’r in our spot.” The leader, who apparently has a nose piercing, took a step closer. They tried to look intimidating, but it did not faze Minato one bit.

“And?”

“Leave.”

“No.”

The guy was starting to get angry, and started digging around in his pocket. “Ye’r from Gekkoukan High, aren’t ya? Damn, one of yous are always trying to waltz around here like some hotshot, but guess what? Ye’r not.”

“Ok.” Minato said absentmindedly. And finally, the man reveals what he was hiding in his pocket. A knife. Minato stood up quickly. “I’ll leave.”

“Haha, ye’r too late. I am angry now.” The man swings his knife, and Minato was barely even able to dodge it. It grazed slightly against his cheek, forming a small scar.

“Hey, stop that!” A tall man wearing a beanie and maroon peacoat quickly came to his rescue. He was able to restrain the man and retrieve the knife from him. Mr. Nose Piercing tried flailing around, but the tall man was much stronger than he is.

“Hey, let him go!” The two other guys who entered with Mr. Nose Piercing, approached the tall male restraining their friend. But before they could attack, another male, a silver-haired gentleman wearing a red vest came, and was able to knock down one guy.

The one left standing kneeled down, pleading for mercy. “Please! I didn’t do anything! It was all him!” He then pointed at Mr. Nose Piercing. The tall, beanie-wearing man scoffed, “Wow, selling your friend out just to be able to escape? How pathetic.”

“Aki, get the knife.”

“Got it, Shinji.”

Mr. Beanie, or Shinji as he was called, dropped Mr. Nose Piercing onto the ground.

“Take your friend, and the other one too. Don’t come back or else we will call the police.”

“Fuck ya, Aragaki! I thought ye were one of us!” Mr. Nose Piercing shouted but quickly exited when he was able to successfully carry his knocked-down friend.

Shinji shook his head and muttered under his breath, “I was never one of you.”

Mr. Red Vest (Minato forgot his name) turned to him and asked, “What were you doing here?”

“I was trying to clear my head.”

Mr. Red Vest looks around, “In here?” He didn’t seem to understand why he chose this out of all the places in Port Island. It was really unhygienic and lots of trashes are strewn around. If he were to go here to clear his head, he’d probably exit more troubled than before.

“Well, you did find me here. So yes, here. I was trying to clear my head here.” Minato sarcastically quipped. Mr. Red Vest looked so confused.

Shinji, approached Minato and gave him a band-aid and an unopened water bottle. Minato raised his eyebrows.

“For your scar. I only have water for now, so use it to clean it. Then cover it with the band-aid. When you get home do a more thorough clean, though. It’s a small scar but better be safe than sorry.” Shinji stated. When Minato accepted the items, Shinji put his hands back into his pockets.

“Don’t come back here anymore. Find another place to clear your head. Let’s go, Aki.”

Ah, Mr. Red Vest was named Aki.

“Um, alright. Goodbye.” Aki awkwardly gave a small wave, and they left. Minato decided to gather his belongings and go home.

/./

As Minato approached the apartment, he pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time. However, his phone died. Minato sighs and when looked up, he notices that the lights are on.

Minako is home.

He brought his hand up to his face, feeling around the band-aid that was placed. He hopes Minako doesn’t notice. The last thing he wants to do is stressing Minako out even more. As he turns the doorknob, he looks down. Hopefully, not meeting her eyes would make it less obvious. As he opens the door, he was met with his sister who was in front of the door. ‘Was she going out?’

“And just where have you been?” Minako asked in a harsh tone. It was rare for her to speak like that and when he heard it, he flinched.

Not wanting to anger her even more, he lied. “With the boys.”

“Lies. They told me they didn’t know where you were.”

‘Well, shit.’

‘You’re just gonna come up with a lie and it was a terrible one.’

Not wanting to receive her wrath, he skimmed past her.

“Minato, I am talking to you.”

He stopped abruptly, still not turning to face her, “What?”

“What? What?! What do you mean ‘what’? I was worried sick! You didn’t answer any of my calls, and your friends didn’t know where you were! Not to mention that it’s late, who knows what kind of criminal could be lurking around the streets at this moment!” He could hear the frustration and worry in Minako’s voice, but he couldn’t bring himself to face her.

He feels that if he did, he’ll break down.

“Calm down, I got home safely didn’t I? It’s fine. You’re worrying over nothing.” Minato cringed at what he said, he knew that he sounded extremely self-centered right now but he couldn’t take it back anymore.

‘You’re the bad guy.’

Minato quickly got up the stairs, not wanting to say any more things that he didn’t mean.

“Minato Arisato, come back down here! I am not done talking to you!”

/./

The next day, the twins’ train ride to the school was really awkward. They can’t meet each other’s eyes. However, Minako would be lying if she said that the band-aid on Minato’s face didn’t worry her one bit. They both seem like they have so much to say, but are hesitating whether it was the right moment or not. They instead decide to disappear into their own worlds, with the power of music. It didn’t help calm down Minako’s nerves, so she decided to fidget with her phone. She eventually found her thumb hovering over the messaging app.

‘Fuck it.’

Minako: hey headphones

Minako: gud am

Headphones: Good morning to you too, pancake. :)

Headphones: How are you today?

Minako: um

Minako: don’t wanna talk about it

Minako: can we talk about something else?

Headphones: Sure. What do you want to talk about?

Minako: uhh

Minako: wanna get to know eachother?

Headphones: Okay. How will this work?

Minako: we take turns asking questions, but no matter who’s turn it is, we will both answer

Headphones: Okay, you first?

Minako: mmm

Minako: pronoun?

Minako: i’m she/her

Headphones: He/Him. :)

Headphones: What do you do on your free time?

Headphones: I either train to make myself stronger or hang out with a close friend. :) You?

Minako: maybe at home cleaning/cooking

Minako: or hanging out w friends as well

Minako: do u like any sports?

Minako: i play volleyball

Headphones: Wow, that’s great!

Headphones: I’m into boxing :)

Minako felt her cheeks heat up. Wow, that’s kinda hot.

‘Wait…’

‘What the hell am I thinking?!’

Headphones: Favorite food?

Headphones: Of course, you already knew about pancakes, but I also like eating beef bowls and ramen from time to time. But no meal of mine is complete without sprinkling some protein powder on it. :)

Minako: oh uhhh

Minako: anything sweet ig

Minako: i’ve got a sweet tooth hehe

Headphones: Then I guess the nickname ‘Pancake’ is perfect for you then. :)

Minako doesn’t know why but whenever they call her that name, it makes her cheeks warm and her heart starts beating faster. This feeling is foreign, but it sure as hell isn’t unwelcomed.

Minako looked out the window and noticed that the train is nearing its destination.

Minako: hey so uh i gtg real soon

Minako: ttyl?

Headphones: Alright, pancake. Take care. :)

Minako: umm

Minako: thanks

Headphones: No problem.

Minako: i dont think u understand, really

Minako: thank u from the bottom of my heart

Minako: for talking to me n being here n all that

Headphones: Anytime. :)

/./

During lunch, Minako decided to eat with Fuuka and Yukari. On the other hand, Minato ate with Junpei and Kenji. Their friends do not seem to be aware that the siblings are currently giving each other the ‘silent treatment’ and haven’t even uttered a word to each other since last night.

As Minako sat down with her food, her phone vibrated in her pocket. As Yukari and Fuuka were settling down in their own seats, she decides to check her phone.

Headphones: Hey, pancake. It’s lunchtime and I hope that you are eating well. :)

That short message made Minako smile so big that it didn’t go unnoticed by Yukari and Fuuka. They gave each other a quick look and turned back to silently observe Minako.

After sending a quick reply, Minako put her phone on the table and placed her bag beside her. After a few minutes, her phone vibrated. Her screen lit up, and it was a message from Headphones again.

Headphones: It better not be all sweets! Your body needs other nutrients too.

Minako chuckled at the message. Which, once again, did not go unnoticed. Yukari scooted over to Fuuka and whispered, “Do you think she forgot that we were here?”

Fuuka replied quietly, “Um, do you know who she’s texting?”

Yukari shrugged and mouthed, ‘Rio?’

Minako: heh okay MOM

Minako: make sure ure the same ok protein man

Minako put her phone down and picked up her utensils, when her phone vibrated again.

Headphones: Hey, that’s not the nickname you gave me!

Minako giggled at the message, but it was cut off by the sound of Yukari clearing her throat. Minako freezed when she realized that she momentarily forgot that Fuuka and Yukari were with her.

“So… who is your new text mate?” Yukari started, sporting a teasing smile and looking at her knowingly.

“Uh, Rio?”

Yukari raised her eyebrows, “Are you asking me?”

Minako cleared her throat, trying to show a poker face. “No, it IS Rio.”

Yukari turned to Fuuka, “Are you buying this, Fuuka?”

“No… She’s acting a bit suspicious.” Fuuka said, shyly.

“Fuuka!” Minako exclaimed, startling nearby students.

“Heh, you heard her. So who is it?”

“It’s nothing! I just saw a funny meme!”

“Would a funny meme make your phone vibrate three times in a row?”

“It’s a notification from a meme page? Um, yeah that’s it! They’re just really active today!” Minako cringed when she heard how fake that sounded.

“Why do you sound so uncertain, this makes it easier to see that you’re lying, y’know?” Yukari said smugly, and Minako doesn’t know if she should admit to Yukari that her new text mate is actually the guy from their number neighbor shenanigan. It’s nothing bad, it’s just that Minako knows that if she mentions this to them, she would not hear the end of it from Yukari.

“Okay fine.” Minako took a deep breath. “I’ll tell you.”

Yukari smiled triumphantly, while Fuuka’s eyes widened in surprise.

“So, who is it?”

“Before I tell you, can I ask what happened to your number neighbors?” Minako asked, hoping to stall.

“Hm, mine blocked me when I sent that message.” Yukari shook her head, disappointed.

“Oh, mine was really scary. They said that if I message them again, they will call the police.” Fuuka said, fidgeting with her fingers.

“What?! Isn’t that a bit too much?” Minako quickly held Fuuka’s hand, hoping to give her some sort of comfort.

“Oh, it’s fine. Maybe they thought I was a hacker or something. It’s not bad to be cautious.”

Yukari sighs, “Let’s never do this again.”

Fuuka nodded, “Agreed.”

There was a moment of silence, until Fuuka spoke up, “Why did you ask about that though, Minako?”

“Oh um… W-well…” Minako looked away and nervously laughed. Until Yukari realized why.

“Wait, is your number neighbor your new text mate?”

“Ehehe, yes?”

Fuuka and Yukari gasped.

“Well, well, well… It looks like I was right. You were able to get a relationship out of this number neighbor thing. Oh! How romantic! You were just one digit away from each other!” Yukari giggled and began hugging Fuuka out of excitement.

“Relationship? N-no… We aren’t in a re-relationship. We’re just… talking. Hehe..” Minako stuttered, and she really wanted to slap herself when she heard how she sounded.

“Yeah, and a relationship comes next after that!” Yukari cheered loudly, standing up and thrusting a first in the air triumphantly. The students in the next table seemed irritated by our table.

“Yukari, simmer down! You’re disturbing the other students!” Minako tried to get Yukari to sit back down. Fuuka found the situation amusing, and giggled.

“Anyways, give us details! You can’t expect us not to want more info when you told us that you actually ended up being text mates with your number neighbor! Spill!”

“Well, he is a nice guy. He is really understanding and willing to listen to my problems. He also respected my decision when I told him to call each other by code names instead of our real names. He also checks in with me every once in a while to see if I was okay…” Minako tells them, and unknowingly smiling to the thought of him. It wouldn’t have been noticed by Yukari and Fuuka if she wasn’t blushing so hard.

“Aww, you like him! Ask him if he wants to meet up, ey?”

“W-what! No! I-I barely know him!”

“Yeah, that’s why you are going to meet up, duh! To get to know each other more… and who knows… This could be something worth mentioning at your wedding when Fuuka and I give our toasts as your maid of honors!”

“Oh, that does sound cute!” Fuuka mentions cheerily.

“Fuuka, NO. Do not encourage Yukari, that wasn’t cute at all!”

/./

After classes, Minato waited outside of Minako’s classroom. Minato decided that he was going to apologize and open up to Minako, no matter what. He doesn’t want to keep his sister in the dark anymore. After a few minutes of waiting for his sister, he decided to go in himself and approach her. He saw her chatting with Fuuka while cleaning up her things.

“Sis.” Minato called, while dumping his bag on top of her desk. “Come with me, you can leave your things for now.” He grabbed his hand and led her outside.

Fuuka seemed confused, but resumed to picking up the scattered trashes. After a few minutes, Yukari entered the room, looking for someone. She quickly found Fuuka and approached her. “Where’s Minako?”

“Oh, Minato told her he had something to talk about. They left their things here, so you can just wait for them. If you wish to talk to Minako, they’ll probably come back soon.”

Suddenly, Yukari grinned widely. “They left their things, ey? So Minako’s phone is in here?”

Fuuka blinked a few times. ‘Why would Yukari ask about Minako’s phone?’

“Yeah, I think? I didn’t see Minako bring anything with her because Minato quickly dragged her outside, it seemed like he had something urgent to say.”

“Aha, I see… Fuuka, want to do a prank with me?”

/./

Minako was surprised by how her brother took the initiative to approach her first. She was happy as it seems like Minato is finally going to start opening up to her, something she wished he did from the start. And then, she remembers Headphone’s words: ‘He just needs some time to figure it out himself and then he will approach you.’

Minato finally let go of her wrist when they arrived at the persimmon tree. He signaled for her to sit down at the nearby bench, which was under the shade. For a few minutes, they were silent. Just taking in the peaceful environment and the cool, refreshing wind.

Minato was the first to speak up. “I’m sorry.”

Minako turned to look at him, “I’m sorry, too. For shouting at you last night, that was unnecessary.”

Minato shook his head and gave his sister a small smile. “No, that was okay. I was being unreasonable. But that’s not the only thing I’m apologizing for.”

Minako tilted her head, confused. “Huh?”

“I have been hiding things from you because I had a feeling you wouldn’t understand me. But that was wrong of me, I shouldn’t just start assuming things and then suddenly start closing off myself. When we were at the train this morning, it felt wrong that you weren’t talking to me. It was a really sucky feeling to have. And then I realized, that this was what you must be feeling when I stopped talking to you.” Minato closed his eyes and buried his face into the palms of his hands.

Minako frowned seeing her brother so distraught. She was about to say something, but Minato lifted his head and continued talking.

“The truth is, lately I have been feeling lost. I don’t know what to do. I feel… empty. I don’t know how to explain it, but basically it’s like the world is in black and white. It’s lifeless, and I don’t see the point. I am… uncertain whether I am making the right choice or not. A voice in my head is always telling me that I am making a bad choice or that I’m a failure. I… I’m sorry if I’m not making sense.”

“Minato, it’s fine… I understand.”

“Do you still love me? You won’t leave?”

Minako was shocked by what he said, “Why would you even think that? I would never leave you! You’re my brother… I would never abandon you.”

“But… mom and dad did.” Minato said quietly, and Minako feel the lump in her throat growing bigger.

“That’s okay. We don’t need them. I won’t ever leave you Minato. You are my partner-in-crime, my bestfriend, and most importantly, my brother. I love you so much and we will always be together.”

“But what will we do about the voice in my head?”

“Well, you have me. We can figure about this together. If you want, we can go see a therapist?”

“I don’t think I’m ready for that…”

“Then that is okay too. You will only go if you want to. I am here for you no matter what, and if you ever start having bad thoughts or the voice in your head gets stronger, just go to me. No matter what time or day, whether there’s classes or not, I’ll be there. Okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Minako and Minato gave small smiles to each other and they hugged. After a few moments, they let go and talked to each other for a few more minutes before heading back inside.

/./

When Minako and Minato returned to the classroom to retrieve their items, they were met with Fuuka looking uneasy and fidgeting. “Fuuka? You okay?” Minako approached her friend, going in for a hug to comfort her but Fuuka jumped.

“Minako! I am so sorry! I tried stopping Yukari but she was determined!” Fuuka bowed her head.

“What are you talking about? What did Yukari do?” Minato strided over, curious with what made Fuuka so worried. Minako shrugged at Minato, confused and worried for her friend.

Fuuka stood up straight, but still unable to look Minako in the eye. Right at that moment, Yukari came in holding an empty food wrapper. “Oh, Minako! There you are!”

Minako, Minato and Fuuka all whipped their heads to where Yukari’s voice was coming from. Yukari approached them, waving the empty food wrapper in front of their faces. “Minako, Fuuka and I are really sorry for eating this deluxe donut snack from the canteen without you! Fuuka was so worried because she knows you like it so much, but I was really hungry so I ate it! Sorry!”

Minako frowned and raised her eyebrow at Yukari, crossing her arms. “Is that all?”

Yukari gulped, and Fuuka started playing with the hem of her skirt, not strong enough to look Minako in the eye. “Yeah, that’s all! R-right Fuuka?” Yukari approached Fuuka, trying to silently ask for back-up.

Fuuka finally looked up to Minako and nodded quickly. “Y-yes! We’re really sorry, Minako!”

Minato stood awkwardly beside Minako, who was seriously studying Yukari and Fuuka. Serious Minako is scary Minako. Eyes scrutinizing their every movement, lips in a tight line, and arms across her chest making her seem even more intimidating.

After a few minutes of silence, Minako gave them a bright smile and laughed. Yukari and Fuuka were surprised and Minato was confused.

“Aww, girls! Don’t worry about that! You were hungry so it’s fine!” Yukari gave a sigh of relief, while Fuuka was still a bit shaken up. Minako closed her distance with the two girls and gave them both a hug.

“But next time, wait for me okay?” She whispered, in their ears eerily.

“Y-yes, Minako.”

“Haha, yeah…”

/./

RECENTLY DELETED THREAD

Minako: hey

Minako: do u live near tatsumi port island

Headphones: Yeah, I do. Why?

Minako: wanna meet tomorrow, sunday?

Minako: get to know each other?

Headphones: Oh, you want to meet?

Headphones: That’s fine by me. :)

Headphones: Where though?

Minako: paulownia mall, that ok? specifically chagall café

Minako: i have brunette hair with silver pins on it forming XXII

Minako: i’ll also be wearing a red scarf

Headphones: That sounds good!

Headphones: See you soon, pancake. :)

[thesunnyshow]

Name: hi, i am nyx  Age: 20 years old Writing Blog URL(s): jungcity.tumblr.com | v-asl.tumblr.com 

Nationality: filipino Languages: english, filipino Star Sign: pisces! MBTI: infp-t Favorite color: white accentuated by silver Favorite food: it’s sweet and spicy chicken garlic!! Favorite movie: hmmm, it’s prolly flipped because that movie was so cute :,)  Favorite ice cream flavor: rocky road!! Favorite animal: it’s gonna be cats!! although i love lions so much because of narnia :,( Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? coffee :,) Go-to karaoke song: i don’t sing agskh the world would end if i would 

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i think it’s me writing about jaehyun??? since he’s the king of fanfiction, especially in ncity nowadays. 

What fandom(s) do you write for?  nct + wayv

When did you post your first piece? three days ago!! that would be august 4 i guess???

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i don’t really much write fluff since i don’t have any idea how to write a good fluff!! :( this has been an issue every time i write some au’s. so im always ending up writing and focusing more on angst. it’s the genre i know best. well, crack… it’s hard to make the readers laugh when you can’t even make their tooth ache from sweetness with your fluffy writings. :( smut… i don’t write smut explicitly any more. i’m more on the suggestive side rn. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc  i write OC’s especially when im writing a series!! to diversify my writing. but i usually am on the x reader side. ships? not that much. 

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? uhm, back in 2017, i was searching for some website where i could publish my works. ive always been a tumblr-girl since i am that wanna-be-aesthetic kinda person :D then i had found that i could write and publish on tumblr so yeah that’s pretty much why i am on this app rn

What inspires you to write?  ooh, music has been a great help for sure!! whenever i don’t feel like writing something, i always listen to music and the idea would flow like a river. classic poems helps, too. :)

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?  supernatural!au’s, fantasy!au, medieval!au. i feel like it’s easier to write something out of pure fantasy. i have a hard time writing modern!au’s since i lack the humor and the knowledge for modern slangs. 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?  ooh, i always always always am careful with the way that i craft all my works. i try to feel what my characters feel to give them a certain validation. i put my shoes on the scenarios i have in mind even though i haven’t yet experienced everything ive written. and i do love writing strong female characters, whether it’s oc’s or female readers. that’s my main priority whenever i write. and i want them to know that girls could do just as much everything boys could. women are powerful. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?  i read a lot to get back on my foot. i also try to re-read my past works so i’d be inspired to better my writing on my current draft.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?  my favorite work is the one i’m still writing rn, which is entitled 505. it’s a hendery fic in which he is a bandit and the female reader is a sacristan. it’s my fave since i relate myself so much to the female reader. :) my most successful one is the childhood best friends!au taeyong x female reader. it’s about to reach 600+ notes i guess? and im so grateful of all the feedbacks i got from it. 

Who is your favorite person to write about?  it’s jaehyun and hendery :) 

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?  character wise, perhaps. since you already have a face value in fanfiction, but in an original prose, you would have to craft everything from 0. 

What do you think makes a good story?  a good story is something that doesn’t romanticize the bad things going on in the world. a good story is something that is emphatic to the hardships of others. a good story is something that gives comfort to those who are in the dark. a good story is something that boosts the hearts of the readers and makes them feel things!! 

What is your writing process like?  first, i think of a plot! (this happens oftentimes when im washing the dishes) when i have the plot, i think of the ending. when i have the ending, it’s time for me to device a fitting title. and the plot would develop from then on. 

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?  i don’t think so… this is scary. since some people think of fanfics as delusional works from delusional authors. it’s kinda sad. 

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?  i love love love enemies-to-lovers trope!! one that i couldn’t stand and do my best to not read is probably… hmm… no, i love all tropes!! i just love e-t-l most!

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?  it means a ton. since it could really boosts me up. heavy sigh. it’s the best thing when you write something— the feedbacks. even though it’s a simple reblog with the ‘#ATKSHSKSHSKAHAKSGAHGEGSJA’ or ‘#myfave’. i would smile like an idiot whenever i read it.

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? i want to be a successful writer someday!

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? teleportation!! 

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?  ancient greek + victorian era

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?  yes!! im so hell deep in indecision right now so i want to restart to make everything right

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?  100 chicken-sized horses!!

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?  enemies-to-lovers trope agsksj LOL

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?  YES!!! perhaps they are lurking somewhere here on earth and we don’t know it yet ;)

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?  oh… i don’t really know what to write. i don’t give much attention to my personal details agsksj

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?  yes!! ugh, there’s this recent issue wherein stan twt called fanfic writers as freaks. and it broke my heart. i mean, most fanfic writers get inspirations from their idols and that shouldn’t be a bad thing. we aren’t delusionals as one might think. we are simply doing our craft. 

Do you think art can be a medium for change?  yes!! our country’s hero ‘jose rizal’ had somehow stirred the nationality of the people back in the old days because of his writings. i do believe that art changes things!! it has the ability to pierce the heart of the people.  

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?  yes. i feel this whenever im writing smut. i mean, let’s be real, your works would do better once you’ve included some steamy smut scenes in it. when i was writing my first fanfic after three years, i didn’t think that i’d ever include smut. but the fear of not getting feedbacks crept up in me, so i forced myself to write some sexy scenes. i know that’s like… weird. but i’m trying not to dwell on feedbacks any longer. and i also have decided not to write explicit smut anymore. honestly, i feel better now that i don’t force myself to do something that i think would please others rather than me.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?  uhm, as far as i can remember, nope— still hasn’t felt that way. :)

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?  yes!! my best friends irl knows about it. my sister knows. my parents are also aware of my passion in writing, and they do know that i write. but where and what, that remains obscured from them :D 

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?  that it’s okay to be vulnerable. it’s okay to make mistakes. it’s okay to fail sometimes. it’s okay to feel things. because like a good book, there is always a character development and you have the pen to write your own version of happy endings. 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?  i’ve been there: the scared and conscious part. but one thing i would say is, you have to dare yourself!! you won’t know how your writing would have impacted so many lives and touch the hearts of people if you won’t grab your pen or your gadget and start your draft. 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?  nope, there aren’t. the community has been lovely to me ever since i started writing. :,)

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? yes!! oh my god. i’d like to take this opportunity to thank my mutuals who’s done me nothing but kindness— @legendnct (hannah), whoo!! you know how much i love you, right? thank you for always being there to listen to me. :) @cloudysuh des, since day one you’ve supported me. i couldn’t ask for more. thank you for the never-ending praises, keyboard smashes, for the tags, and for always boosting me up. @bohoes georgie, you know i love you. since 2017 you’ve been with me— praising my works and supporting me. thank you. @cherr-e cherry!! thank you!! for teaching me how to better my writing. i hope endless happiness for u and please take care. @writermoon hello my babe!! thank you so much for reading my works with such vivid imaginations. i love you. @jaeyongf amy!! the bestest person :,) thank you for always leaving me feedbacks!! thank you for being kind to me. thank you for always supporting me. i love you guys so much and let’s be mutuals for a long time!! 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

“If the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.” — Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë