#ugh and the way so few people even seem bothered by the change like seriously??

[the-boy-meets-evil]

come sail away | ksj (18+)

pairing: seokjin x f. reader genre(s): enemies to lovers (one-sided) | smut, angst (light), fluff rating: explicit, minors DNI! word count: ~7.8k written for: catch of the century - thank you so so much for letting me participate! (and sorry my summary changed lol) summary: kim seokjin is the captain of a sailing team bound for one of the biggest regattas around. only one problem: that team also includes taehyung, who's incredibly accident prone. will he let you save the day despite your history? warnings: drinking, swearing, mentions of past hook-up, seokjin is kind of an idiot, taehyung is clumsy, slight mention of side vmin smut warnings: explicit smut, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, vaginal penetration, slight mentions of breast play?, they're both in control, reader calls jin baby one (1) time, i think that's it a/n: this fic was kind of a beast and i wish i'd gotten it posted by our beloved jin's birthday but what can you do? thank yous: @ugh-yoongi, @hot-soop, and @effortandmore for being wonderful friends and also keeping me sane/suffering with me (sorry jewel, i copied you)

Everything in the world has finally aligned. The stars and the universe and maybe one or two things closer to Earth. It’s not worth stopping to think about it too closely. Only one thing matters. Kim Seokjin has qualified for one of the biggest regattas in the world.

Well, his team has. But, he’s their captain, and the face of the team, if you will, so he’s taking this as his win. And when you stop to think about it, he’s hand-picked every person that he sails with, spent hours making sure that not only does he have the best people, but that they also work well together. He’s watched teams fold over a stupid argument and he’s determined not to fall victim to that. 

No, this team is perfect and he’s not letting anything stand in the way. They’ve had their ups and downs in the past, plenty of almosts. Not this time. This is their year and he can almost taste it. This is the year that other teams start taking his seriously and stop calling them almost.

Especially your team. Seokjin pictures your face when he finally beats you in a major regatta and it’s probably the best thing he’s seen, might even be better than sex. It’s been at least 10 years of you somehow managing to beat him when it really matters, sometimes in the final few minutes, and he’s had enough. 

The news calls for a celebration, at the very least. Actually, Seokjin would rather be planning and looking into conditions, making sure that they tackle this as best they can. Taehyung and Jungkook wanted to celebrate and Yoongi, the eternal sunshine that he is, didn’t care what they did. Since neither Jin nor Yoongi could ever dissuade Taehyung from anything, they were sitting at their favorite bar. 

Seokjin looks over at the door and sees the last person he’s expecting walk in. You. Sure, he’s riding a high from the news of making the cut and he’s several drinks in, but he still thinks that you could ruin the night. And you seem like you’re looking for someone, not like you just wandered in by accident, which sets his nerves on edge. Who are you looking for? As your eyes land on his table, he looks away immediately. No, you’re not raining on his parade.

“Who invited her?” Jin asks in a low, biting whisper. 

It’s Hoseok who speaks up after looking toward the door. “Oh! I did!” 

His voice is full of cheer, smile not even fading when Seokjin casts Hoseok his most venomous look. Maybe he’s not doing it right or maybe he’s just not as scary as he likes to imagine he is. Or Maybe Hoseok, who’s known Seokjin for nearly 20 years, isn’t bothered.

In another second, you’re at the table hugging Hoseok and smiling around at everyone else. Like you’re supposed to be there. Like this isn’t weird. Like you hang out with them all the time. Like you don’t hate him and wish nothing but bad fortune on him at every turn. Okay, maybe the last one is dramatic but you’re rivals for a reason.

“Congrats! Hobi told me you’d been selected,” you say and sit down close to Hoseok.

Seokjin almost can’t believe his ears. What kind of tactic is this? You can’t just be happy for them, that doesn’t line up with everything that he knows about you. Which, admittedly, isn’t all that much. He’s been around you plenty, sure, just never listened all that closely.

“Thanks,” Jungkook says easily.

“Looks like we’ll be going up against each other again,” Seokjin says with all the pride he’s felt the whole time.

“What?” Your eyebrows are knotted in confusion when he makes eye contact with you. It annoys Seokjin because what right do you have to be looking at him that way? Is this a game to you?

“In the Regatta?” Seokjin says, biting back the tone of annoyance as best he can.

“Oh, hadn’t you heard? I didn’t enter a team this year,” you say, your tone casual. You’re not even really focused, more worried about stealing some of Hoseok’s drink and then pulling up your face when it’s too sweet. Seokjin is searching for something deeper. Are you just testing him? Is this some kind of pity since you’ve beaten him so many times?

The only question that comes out of his mouth is, “why?”

“Well Eunji is pregnant so she can’t really train right now and Chan fell in love and said he wants to focus on that for now,” you say with a shrug. “I didn’t really have time to replace them with anyone I trusted, which is fine, there’s always next year.”

And there was always next year for you. It was like you made the cut every year, sometimes without even seeming like you were trying. It was infuriating to see you so casual about missing it this year. Seokjin’s sure he checked the teams competing, but maybe he hadn’t looked that closely. All he can do now is fight to make sure it doesn’t seem like he’s bothered by your lack of participation. 

With Seokjin so deep in his thoughts, he misses a lot of the next bits of the conversation. He doesn’t see you watch him for a moment before turning back to Hoseok. He doesn’t see Taehyung get up to seek out the pretty stranger he’s been watching across the bar. He doesn’t even see Yoongi order them another round until there’s a fresh drink in front of him, which he downs too fast. 

This night isn’t going anything like he expects. Well, except for Taehyung. His friend is nowhere to be found and there’s a text in the group chat not to worry about him. They aren’t scheduled to practice tomorrow so it’s not unlike him to run off with a pretty face. Seokjin spares a passing thought that it’ll be nice if this one lasts a little longer because Taehyung deserves that. Jungkook is trying to convince Yoongi to sing karaoke with him, which is never going to happen. Well, unless Yoongi wants to impress someone by busting out a rap. Doesn’t seem likely tonight. What Seokjin really needs is another drink.

“You seem particularly upset about me missing the Regatta,” a smooth voice says from beside Seokjin along the bar. He knows it’s you without turning and turns anyway, taking in your eyes alight with something he can’t place.

“It just seems like a shame, I feel bad you’re down 2 team members is all,” Seokjin says, hoping it comes out even.

“Mhm,” you hum, quiet enough that he might miss it if he weren’t still watching you.

Stupid of him, he thinks. There’s no reason to be watching you. At least not that closely.

“I don’t know what else you expect me to say,” Seokjin says and turns away towards the bar again.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” You ask, a little challenging, a little annoying, completely on brand for you.

“Nothing,” Seokjin says, trying and failing to unclench his jaw before the answer pushes out.

“Are you…mad I’m not competing?” You’re getting far too much delight out of this.

“You know it’s not the same if…” Seokjin starts and then clenches his jaw again, not wanting to give you the satisfaction.

“This whole competition thing is getting old,” you say with a sigh and Seokjin looks over again to see you really don’t seem engaged anymore.

“Not when we’re always competing,” Seokjin says and you shake your head.

“I win some, you win some, then it’s over and we have lives outside of the competition,” you say and Seokjin scoffs.

“Easy to say when you’re usually the one winning, at least the ones that matter,” Seokjin says and you move closer.

“I thought we’d worked on this, you know, when we…” you say.

“No, we’re not talking about that,” Seokjin says quickly, scanning to see if anyone else is listening.

Okay, so here’s the thing. The Big Secret that Seokjin doesn’t want anyone to know because it would ruin the image he’s carefully built up. Every chance he gets, he talks about not liking you, about thinking you’re evil and the enemy. And there’s no fraternizing with the enemy, that’s been rule number 1 as long as Seokjin has been captain. It’s inevitable that teams run into each other. There are only so many good areas to train and only so many places to spend your free time. That’s all fine. Anything beyond that breaks the rules.

Seokjin is a fucking hypocrite too, apparently, because he broke the rule in a pretty major way. It was late one night and the bar was emptying. Admittedly, he was feeling a little down because he’d just gone through a breakup and the one person he tried talking to at the bar was a resounding failure, not something Seokjin ever really experienced. He wasn’t drunk, just pleasantly buzzed, taking the edge off of what felt like two separate rejections. That was where you came in. Initially, it was any other time where you both jabbed back and forth before you realized that Seokjin really wasn’t in the mood. Then you listened.

You were actually a really good listener, Seokjin discovered. You were sympathetic, not judgmental at all, and you had good insight. You were patient too, as he rambled on repeating the same bits of the story because he was kind of angry about the whole thing. Nobody liked feeling rejected, but Seokjin took it especially personally. He invited you back to his apartment for another drink before even realizing what he was doing and you agreed just as quickly. 

Fuck, Seokjin was only human and even though he was one of the most stubborn people in the world, he wasn’t blind. You looked good that night, full lips painted red, big eyes looking up seductively under your thick lashes, leaning just a little too close into his space so he was sure to notice how good you smelled. He can’t remember who closed the gap first. It really might have been him. But he couldn’t bring himself to care when you felt that good.

He’d told you then that it couldn’t happen again and you definitely couldn’t talk about it. There was no way the rest of his team could not what happened. Not only would they never let him hear the end of it, it’d be harder to enforce any team rules too. Sometimes it seemed like you just wanted to bring it up to see his reaction. Or cause some sort of trouble if someone overheard you.

This time you just raise your eyebrows and work to control a smirk. “You’re no fun.”

Seokjin is torn about responding to this because on the one hand, he is really fun and he wants to say that. But that definitely leaves a door open that he’s not interested. Maybe. He’s probably better off ordering another drink.

The drink might actually be a bad idea because now he’s feeling bolder. Everyone in his group is otherwise engaged when he finds himself sitting next to you. He leans in without thinking, continuing the earlier conversation. “I think we both know that I’m very fun.”

He doesn’t have time to think about if it’s a good idea or not (it’s not) before you slowly turn your head to look at him, smirk back in place. Fuck. Instead of catching you off guard, he’s played right into your hand. You briefly suck your lower lip between your teeth, thinking. 

Before he can react, you’re leaning into him, lips close to his ear under the guise of it being loud in there (it is, but not that loud). The warm breath sends a shiver through him that he barely manages to contain.

“I think I’ve forgotten how much fun you can be, can you remind me?” 

The question is loaded. And it’s a terrible idea. Monumentally awful. Yet, Seokjin can’t even fight the heat that raises up the back of his neck at your words. He doesn’t trust himself to speak even once you’ve pulled back to study him from a much more respectable distance. All he can do is nod.  

The next moment, the spell seems slightly broken when you stand up and smile casually at nobody in particular. You announce you’re leaving, give out a few hugs, and leave without a backwards glance at Seokjin. He’s starting to think that he must have imagined the whole exchange. Or maybe it was real but you’re just toying with him. It’s stupid to think that anything is going to happen.

Then he gets a text message with an address and apartment code, telling you to wait at least ten or fifteen minutes before excusing yourself. That is, if you’re still up for the challenge.

It shouldn’t get his heart racing the way it does. Shouldn’t tempt him the way it does. One time can be a mistake, just a casual slip in judgment and nothing more. A second time gets a little more complicated. That’s not a mistake.

But Seokjin is just on the other side of buzzed and doesn’t really feel like making the right decision, whatever that is. He wants to feel good and he knows you can definitely do that. So he makes his exit as well, saying how he needs to make sure he still gets his beauty sleep and that he’s got things to do tomorrow. Nobody spares it a second thought and he’s on his way to your apartment. Again. 

He shows up at your door and you pull him inside without saying anything. It’s unusual for him to feel this out of his element, this unsure. You don’t seem to mind making up for it, pulling him straight back into your bedroom and lightly pushing him onto the bed. The next moment, you’re straddled over his lap, unbuttoning his shirt as you slowly kiss up his neck. He runs his hands up your thighs, squeezing when you nip at his neck. 

It’s too much and not enough, all at the same time. Seokjin moves one hand behind your neck to direct your lips to his, an urgency behind it. You kiss him hard and take advantage of his little gasp to slide your tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. In the midst of the kiss, you finish unbuttoning his shirt, sliding it off his body. 

You break the kiss and lean back to appreciate his body and the smooth lines of muscle that tense under your fingers as they skim across his skin. You’re entirely in control and Seokjin can’t help but be turned on by it. It’s not that he minds giving up control, exactly, because he doesn’t. It’s just so much more to give up control to someone he’s not sure he even likes when you’re both fully clothed. His attention is back on you as you remove your shirt and unhook your bra, discarding both to the floor. 

You guide Seokjin’s plush lips to one of your breasts and he immediately flicks his tongue out against your nipple, earning a shudder in response. He takes his time with each breast before kissing up your chest to your neck. The kisses get messier, more frantic, more filled with need. Seokjin craves the skin to skin contact of your chests as he pulls you flush against him. With his hands still firmly gripping your hips, he feels when you start to slightly rolls against him. The material keeping the two of you apart isn’t nearly enough friction, but your movements have him getting hard.  

It’s not enough though. You’re stunning and Seokjin loves to hear the little moans that he pulls out of you. But he needs more. He puts his hands under your thighs and flips you around so your back is on the bed, head on a pillow. It takes you a second to realize what he’s doing and then you’re undoing your jeans, pulling them and your underwear down in one movement. The second they’re added to the pile of already discarded clothes, your hand is on the back of Seokjin’s neck, guiding him back to you. He only lets you nip at his lip once before he’s pulling away again. It’s pure pleasure to see you pout before he begins trailing kisses down your body. 

Once he reaches your inner thighs, you’re impatient again, trying to push his head where you need it most. But as fun as it is to see you needy, it’s even better to push you toward the edge. His tongue slowly reaches out, running lazily up your slit. And fuck, you’re wet. But he continues teasing, just slowly moving his tongue and ignoring your attempts to get him to move faster. Teasing you like this might be his new favorite thing.

The sounds you make as Seokjin finally licks into your cunt have him already hardening. They’re slow, purposeful movements, just enough to drive you even crazier. Your fingers grip tighter in his hair and your back arches when runs his tongue over your clit, sucking it into his mouth. 

“Fuck Seokjin, are you trying to kill me?”

He’s not, not really, he just really enjoys you squirming as he works you up. Enjoys taking his time with you, starting at a painfull slow pace. A thought that he’s not going to give too much attention. 

“Please, please, please, I need more,” you beg. 

Well, it’d be cruel to deny you that. He slowly inserts a finger while still focusing his mouth on your clit. Your hips buck against his hand and he knows it’s not enough, that it’s too slow, that you want him to go faster, but he keeps the movements slow. His finger slides in and out easily. Your want is so plain. He slides another finger in and you clench around him.

Fuck. He’s definitely straining against his pants now.

He doesn’t want to draw it out anymore, just wants to feel your release. He inserts another finger and curls them immediately. The moan that comes out at that is halfway to a scream and he knows he’s hitting where you need him. And he knows you’re close, just a little bit farther. He’s pumping his fingers in and out of you fast now, encouraged by your moans and the string of swears dripping from your lips, everything a half finished thought. He’s still working over your clit, alternating between a flick of the tongue and sucking it into his mouth.

Your other hand grips into his hair and your whole body starts to shake as you release. All he wants is to watch you unravel knowing that it’s thanks to him, but he continues pumping his fingers, guiding you though it. 

As soon as you come back down, you pull his face up to yours. Your lips are on his before he can think about anything else, both breathing heavy and not caring if the kiss is a little sloppy. Your hands leave his to quickly undo his pants and slide them down along with his boxers. Seokjin breaks the kiss to remove them the rest of the way. 

He can’t help the whine that escapes his lips when your finger slides over his tip, spreading the precum over the rest of his cock. And he’s thinking about those lips of yours wrapped around his cock again. Just like last time. Fuck, you’ve got such a pretty mouth. His cock twitches a little thinking about it. Or maybe it’s the way you start to work him over.

But no, he wants you and he wants you now. 

“Do you have a condom?” Seokjin asks and you raise an eyebrow, hand stilling.

You nod at the drawer. “In there.”

Seokjin pulls one out, unwrapping it and sliding it on as quick as he can.

“Someone is eager,” you say and he wants to protest.

And he would’ve, if you hadn’t pushed him back onto the bed. Any retort dying on his lips as he watches you straddle him, hands using his chest for stability. You don’t bother to ask if it’s okay as you line yourself up, his face must’ve told you all you needed to know. You slowly lowered yourself onto him and he gripped your hips hard, not even caring if he left a mark. Maybe he wanted to leave a mark, make sure you remember this night.

But fuck. He’d forgotten how good it felt to be inside you. Once you adjusted, you find your pace, slowly moving up and down. You’re rolling your body so smoothly as you allow him to come almost all the way out of you before sinking back onto his cock. Seokjin thinks how hot it is to look up at you while you fuck him. It’s dangerous too, having you on top of him like this, completely in control. It lets his mind wander, just slightly, to think of how he might actually like to do this much more. Might like to take his time with you. Spend the night.

No.

Pretending it’s just too slow, Seokjin flips the two of you so he’s hovering over you instead, caging you in with his much larger frame. You run your nails appreciatively over his broad shoulders and he shivers. He needs the pace to be faster, needs to get out of his own head. You either don’t mind or don’t notice the slight daze before Seokjin picks up the pace. 

It’s so fast, bodies slamming together and sweat starting to bead. You’re so tight around him that it’s like he can feel every movement and it only adds to the feeling. Even as your head tips back, Seokjin can’t stop looking at you. Memorizing the sight of you beneath him. Your hands slide down his sides and over his back to grip his ass and he groans again. He can tell your close by the way you’re meeting his thrusts, finding a perfect rhythm again and chasing another release.

You cum again, hard. Your nails are digging into him as the orgasm works through you and he has the fleeting thought hoping it’ll actually leave marks. Another thrust and he can feel himself at the edge. 

“Come on, baby, cum for me,” you say, voice completely fucked.

“Fuck me,” Seokjin utters because that was hot. And he liked it too much. He doesn’t remember you calling him baby the last time he fucked you.

He thrusts several more times and then stills inside you, breathing heavy from the pace. His arms feel shaky where they still hold him suspended over you.

“It’s okay Jin, you’re not gonna crush me,” you say, soft and almost sweet, gently running your fingers up his arms to his shoulders. 

He tries to scoff but instead, he just listens and lowers himself down onto your body. You’re both tacky with sweat and neither of you seems to care. It’s easy, far easier than it should be, to just lay there in bed with you. But that’s a problem for Tomorrow Seokjin. Tonight, Seokjin is just going to enjoy being in this moment as long as he can.

The last place that Seokjin wanted to go that night was a club that couldn’t decide if it wanted to be a strip club judging by the poles at the edges of the dance floor. Not because he objected, he absolutely did not. It was just that he knew Taehyung’s new obsession was a dancer. Which meant that Jimin would probably dance on the pole. And that was fine, really, because he had mentioned classes. He knew what he was doing. Who couldn’t appreciate someone that moved with that much grace? Taehyung, on the other hand, did not know what he was doing.

Sadly, Seokjin’s objections fell on deaf ears and Taehyung tried to imitate the relatively intricate moves, including hanging upside down. Which resulted in him falling and having to be rushed to the hospital. 

He’s fine, thankfully. But now Seokjin is waiting in an emergency room and, not surprisingly, he wants to be here even less than he wanted to be at the stupid club. Honestly, when was Taehyung going to learn to listen to his hyung? 

Not today, that was clear.

“Your friend is going to be okay. He’s lucky and he didn’t actually break his neck,” the nurse says. She has overwhelming overworked and underpaid energy that Seokjin might feel bad about in any other situation.

“Good, so I can kill him still,” Seokjin quickly replies.

She leveled him with an unimpressed look. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“How long until he can leave?” Jimin asks. He tagged along despite Seokjin insisting they could handle it and has been weepy ever since the fall. He feels responsible despite everyone assuring him that it’s just what Taehyung does.

“We’re letting him go tonight but he absolutely cannot participate in whatever this sailing thing he’s been babbling about is,” she says and Seokjin thinks he must’ve misheard.

“It’s not a thing…” he starts before Yoongi cuts him off.

“We understand, thank you,” Yoongi says.

“Yoongi, you can’t be…” Seokjin starts.

“Leave it, Jin,” Yoongi says and the nurse raises an eyebrow like she’s actually entertained. 

“I’ll let you know when he’s ready to go,” is all she says, though, before disappearing back through the doors.

“What am I supposed to do?” Seokjin asks nobody in particular.

“Absolutely expect Taehyung to get on a boat after he fell on his head,” Jimin snips.

Seokjin is not in the mood. “Maybe you shouldn’t have done some super complicated move.”

“How was I supposed to know that he’d try to copy? I was trying to impress him,” Jimin whines and Seokjin just rolls his eyes. Anyone that’s known Taehyung for more than a second knows that he can’t ever leave something like that alone.

“You know what you’re going to have to do,” Yoongi says and Seokjin just looks at him.

“What?” Seokjin asks.

“Hyung, we need a fourth person for the team,” Jungkook says, eyes even wider than usual. He’s hardly spoken since getting to the hospital. 

“Yeah, and where the fuck am I supposed to find someone this close to the regatta?” Seokjin asks, running a hand through his hair and for once, not caring if it gets messed up.

“You’re kidding, right?” Yoongi asks, sharing a look with Jungkook that Seokjin isn’t entirely sure he likes.

“No?” Seokjin asks.

“Hyung,” Jungkook says. “You know there’s someone that could fill in. She’s got all the experience, and…”

Jungkook trails off but Seokjin catches the meaning. And now he knows that he doesn’t like that look. There is no way, no fucking way.

“No, absolutely not,” Seokjin says.

“Right, well I guess we’ll just have to forfeit unless Jimin here wants to try sailing out for the first time,” Yoongi says and turns kindly to Jimin. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Jimin says with a shrug.

“We could ask Namjoon, he was out with us a couple summers,” Seokjin offers.

“Yeah and he slipped every time he was on the boat,” Yoongi scoffs.

“Hobi, then,” Seokjin says.

“He’s booked solid with work stuff and he hates being on the boat,” Jungkook says.

“You have to call her and at least ask,” Yoongi says. 

Seokjin’s stomach sinks knowing that you’re honestly the only option he has, at least if he wants a chance to actually win this thing. And he does. He’s been able to taste in since seeing they made the cut. He just doesn’t want to be trapped in close quarters with you training and then racing. 

“She hates us,” Seokjin says.

“No, you think you hate her for some reason,” Yoongi says and shakes his head. “I actually think she likes us fine.”

“Yeah she’s always nice when I run into her,” Jungkook agrees.

“How often do you run into her?” Seokjin’s question is sharp and Jungkook’s eyes go wide again.

“You know what? Let’s just vote,” Yoongi says, ignoring their captain. “Who thinks we should call her and ask?”

Jungkook’s hand immediately shoots up, followed by Yoongi’s and, to Seokjin’s surprise, Jimin’s.

“You don’t get a vote,” Seokjin says and Jimin scoffs.

“Rude, I’m voting for Tae,” Jimin says.

“It’s settled, I’ll call her if you won’t,” Yoongi says.

Seokjin tries to protest that this isn’t a democracy (it is), that there are other options (there aren’t), and that he’s not a coward (he is). But, Yoongi is right. If they want to win, you’re the only option. So Seokjin does the sensible thing and agrees to call you. (By that, he means he agrees Yoongi can call. Apparently, you say yes immediately and seem excited to get to race after all, given you lost half your team).

The next couple of weeks fly by faster than they should. Seokjin spends most of the time that he’s not training either ignoring Yoongi’s looks of superiority over how well you’re working out or ignoring your attempts to have a private conversation with him. Jungkook, who was nervous at first, seems to be getting far more entertainment out of it than anyone should.

Yoongi is actually harder to ignore because you have been a great addition to the team, fitting in like you had always been there. It’s hard to ignore your talent or why you captain your own team. Yet, you seem more than willing to let someone else in charge. Which makes Seokjin nervous when he considers it. Makes him wonder what sort of game you’re playing because everything with you is a game. When Seokjin tells Yoongi about his concerns, Yoongi just suggests, not for the first time, that Seokjin might need help. 

Jungkook is possibly even worse. From the first training session, he’s making conversation with you, asking personal questions, asking for tips. All this despite the fact that Seokjin has been training with Jungkook since the younger man was still a teenager. So much for loyalty. 

To this, Yoongi suggests that Seokjin really needs to work on his jealousy. It’s the most ridiculous suggestion of all and Seokjin wishes that he had some other friends. 

(Which, he does, but Namjoon is no help and Hoseok suggests there might be something else going on. Useless. Seokjin does not need them acting like they know what’s going on in his head when he doesn’t even know.)

After a particularly tough training session, Seokjin is considering that this may be the most cohesive team he’s entered in a race since he began sailing. It’s a weird thought and it feels a little like a betrayal to Taehyung to think it. But there’s also the voice in the back of his head that reminds him the most cohesive team could mean a win. Wouldn’t Taehyung be happy about that?

“We’ve really gotta talk,” you say and Seokjin curses himself for not checking his surroundings. He’d been so busy cleaning up that he hadn’t realized Yoongi and Jungkook had disappeared. Traitors.

He tries not to jump at the surprise, but he’s only got so much energy. “We talk all the time.”

“Seokjin, please,” you say. Plead, really.

And that’s…new. Seokjin has heard you say a lot of things in a lot of situations. He’s never heard you sound so raw. So defeated. 

“I just don’t see what we have to talk about outside of training and the regatta,” Seokjin says, avoiding your gaze.

“How about the fact that you hate me? Can we talk about that? Because I really don’t get it.” 

Now Seokjin does look at you because surely you’re messing with him. You must be. The rivalry has been fine and it’s been mutual all this time. Why change a good thing now? “You hate me too, I’m not really sure what’s so confusing about a rivalry,” Seokjin answers evenly.

“Hate you? What?” You look incredulous. 

“Yeah, it’s been pretty obvious,” Seokjin offers.

“To who?” You’re looking at him like he’s stupid and for the first time in his life, he wonders if maybe you’re right.

“Uhhhh…” Seokjin is usually so eloquent. What the fuck just came out of his mouth?

“Seokjin, you’re a fucking idiot,” you say and it’s confusing because you’re laughing. “Let’s forget the fact that we’ve literally slept together. Twice. I get how that could be confusing for this rivalry narrative in your head. I also agreed to help your team when Taehyung got hurt. Who does that for someone they hate? I mean, unless we’re talking some long game, sabotage shit.”

“Is that what we’re talking about?” Seokjin asks.

“We might be now,” you say, no longer laughing. 

“So you don’t hate me?” Seokjin ventures uncertainly.

“I didn’t, now I’m not ruling it out,” you say and gather your things quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, captain.”

And okay, that actually hurts Seokjin a little, to hear you use his title on the team instead of his name. He hadn’t realized how much he liked the way his name sounds in your mouth until you stop saying it. He’s also searching his brain trying to figure out exactly what just happened. 

He doesn’t like what he finds. All of the conversations from the last few weeks feel different now. As if someone shattered a piece of glass and now everything has changed. Instead of you and him bickering, he sees that maybe you were being endlessly patient as he stuck his foot in his mouth over and over. Instead of you challenging his leadership, he sees that maybe you were just trying to share your own experience in both training and competing. Instead of distaste, maybe you were just tired of the way things were.

Seokjin doesn’t often feel a step behind on anything, prides himself on that, actually. Now he’s several steps behind and he doesn’t know what to do to catch up. He faces the realization that he needs to have an actual conversation with you. 

Which ends up being impossible.

You’re the first one gone once training ends. Seokjin hadn’t even realized that you were always staying after Yoongi and Jungkook left, making sure that everything was where it belongs, until you weren’t. It had been such an easy silence to work in, in hindsight, and Seokjin had taken it for some kind of obligation. Like you owed him for giving you the chance to sail on the team. Or some sort of petty thing to show that you were better than him. Maybe you are. Not just at sailing, but also at dealing with people and emotions. 

Suddenly it’s the night before the Regatta kicks off and Seokjin has already done all the things he usually does to prepare. Everyone is checked into separate hotel rooms so they can carry out whatever routine they need to in peace. Taehyung and Jimin also got a room to share because Seokjin is a sucker and didn’t want to listen to Taehyung whine anymore about missing things. He’s checked the weather for the weekend (it’s going to be perfect, exactly what he wants to race in). The team is ready, Seokjin knows they’re ready. He’s never been this confident in a team. 

So why is he so unsettled?

He knows the answer, really. Has known it for a while if he’s honest with himself. But what he doesn’t know is how to fix it. Surely talking to you about the last real conversation you had the night before a set of huge races is a mistake. Surely he should be getting into bed, putting on something light, and just focusing on the race.

It’s not that easy.

The first race is definitely not Seokjin’s best. As in, he’s lucky that the rest of his team is so good at their jobs and able to pick up his slack. You still manage a win in the first round, but it’s not nearly as smooth as it should have been. This was one of the easier match-ups. 

Jungkook is confused, asking if Seokjin is okay, if he got enough sleep, if there’s anything he needs. Yoongi waves Jungkook off, saying he’s sure Seokjin is fine and it was just an off-race. There’s a glare in Seokjin’s direction when Yoongi assures Jungkook their captain will be better for the next race. You, however, remain silent, not bothering to look at Seokjin.

The next race, which is against a tougher team, doesn’t go any better. Everything feels off and Seokjin just can’t focus on making sure he’s doing what he’s supposed to be. More than once, Yoongi or Jungkook just get there in time to push him out of their way before making an adjustment to the sails or their course. And sure, technically three people can run the boat, but it wasn’t built that way at this level. 

After losing the second race, Yoongi tells you and Jungkook that him and Seokjin are going to have a conversation. You can grab something to eat and they’ll meet you under the tent as soon as they’re done.

“Seokjin, what the fuck?” Yoongi asks as soon as the other two are out of earshot.

“I know, I know. I’m just a little…off?” Seokjin can’t even find the right words. 

“Well no shit, man, but you’d better figure your shit out before the next race or I’m going to file for a substitution,” Yoongi says and Seokjin scoffs.

“And just who are you going to replace me with?” Seokjin challenges. He’s almost thankful for Yoongi now. He can do this. He can fight with his oldest friend about sailing.

“I don’t know, maybe someone that’s not so fucking stupid that he lets feelings get in the way of sailing,” Yoongi hisses.

“What? What are you talking about?” Seokjin is sputtering again. Great.

“Come on, Jin,” Yoongi says, going uncharacteristically soft for a second. “I know you have feelings for her. I know you must’ve had some stupid argument, probably about this made-up rivalry.”

“I didn’t think it was made up,” Seokjin says quietly.

“Then why did you fuck her?” Yoongi asks and then shakes his head. “Actually, I really don’t want to know.”

Seokjin is choking on air, eyes comically wide. “You knew?”

“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think,” Yoongi says with a sympathetic smile. 

“But it’s against the rules,” Seokjin says and Yoongi laughs. It’s not unkind, but it’s definitely like he knows something Seokjin doesn’t.

“Sure it is,” Yoongi agrees, placating Seokjin. “Just like it was against the rules when I was fucking Nayeon or Jungkook was fucking Dahyun.”

“What??” Seokjin’s question comes out choked and Yoongi claps him on the back.

“Point is, you can talk to her tonight if you need to. But for now, get your shit together,” Yoongi says, all business again. “You owe it to us.”

And that, more than anything, clears Seokjin’s head. It’s true. He does owe all of them to be present and actually help the team instead of getting in the way. The two of them join you and Jungkook a few minutes later with an entirely different energy. Seokjin is locked in. 

So locked in that they end up winning the next 3 races of the round-robin day. Including one where they were definitely down as the underdogs. It makes up for both the race they barely won and the one that they lost. 

Dinner is a lighthearted affair. Everyone is happy, including Taehyung and Jimin who join in. Taehyung has nothing but praise for the team, not seeming the least bit upset that he can’t be competing himself. As long as he’s included and the team is doing well, he’s happy. 

The only exception is you. You’re smiling when you feel someone’s eyes on you and answering any question directed at you, but you’re much quieter than usual. Seokjin doesn’t pause to consider that he knows what’s normal for you. Admittedly, he’s never been around you like this during a competition, but it’s not how you’ve been outside of training every other time he’s seen you. Usually, you’re the center of attention, cracking jokes and poking fun. Tonight, you’re much quieter, watching instead of actively participating. 

Seokjin isn’t really sure what the best thing to do here is. On the one hand, the second half of the day went off as perfectly as it could. It was smooth sailing, pun intended because Seokjin did love a pun. Yet, on the other hand, there’s still a bit of a pit in his stomach. He still feels something off between you and him. 

Maybe it isn’t the right thing to do. Maybe it’s going to hurt more than help. Maybe he should leave you alone. He can’t, though. And after dinner, he takes a couple of steadying breaths and goes to knock on your door.

“Jin?” You crack the door just a bit, not fully wanting to let him in.

“I know we’re all supposed to be in for the night, but I wanted to talk to you,” Seokjin says, slightly awkward. It’s more honest than he’s been.

It’s the first time he’s seen you look unsure about almost anything. After a moment, you open the door a little wider and step aside, allowing him into your space. Once he’s inside, you move back to sit on the edge of the bed, still looking unsure and a little vulnerable. You’ve got your hair tied up on top of your head and are wearing a baggy t-shirt with shorts, obviously ready for bed. 

“What do you want?” The question doesn’t sound aggressive, just exhausted. 

“To apologize,” Seokjin says simply.

“For how you sailed this morning? You’ve already apologized for that,” you say. 

“No, for that argument we had a few weeks ago,” Seokjin rushes out before he loses his nerve.

Whatever you were expecting, it’s not that. Your body language changes, just slightly. “Really?”

“I’m just…I’m sorry,” Seokjin says. “I don’t know why I’d built this whole rivalry up in my head. Probably just because you give me a hard time all the time or me being too competitive. And then I felt guilty I guess? About us sleeping together, I mean. Because we’ve got this rule on the team…”

You get up from the edge of the bed and come to sit on the arm of the chair next to Seokjin, placing a hand on his arm. “You’re rambling a bit.”

“I know,” he exhales.

“I’m not going to lie and say it’s all magically fine or that it didn’t hurt a bit,” you say. 

“I don’t expect you to,” Seokjin says and he means it. “Why did you stay?”

“On the team?” You wait for Seokjin’s answer and continue once he nods. “Because I couldn’t just leave you hanging.”

“I would’ve deserved it,” Seokjin nearly whispers.

“You would’ve,” you agree. “But Yoongi and Jungkook didn’t. So I stayed.”

“I know they’re thankful for that,” Seokjin says.

“And are you thankful?” Your eyes study his, looking for answers to more than just your last question.

“Of course I am,” Seokjin says.

“Because you still got to compete?” You’re pressing and he’s actually thankful.

“Well, no, because I like having you around,” Seokjin says and you open your mouth, but he carries on. “And no, not because of thinking we’re rivals. That was so stupid. I just like being around you. I like…too many things about you to list.”

“You could try,” you say and he looks up to see that sparkle in your eyes again, the one that’s only ever meant trouble. 

“I will do whatever you want me to,” Seokjin admits and watches the surprise on your face.

“A dangerous offer,” you observe.

Seokjin shrugs. “I’ll take my chances.”

“I don’t forgive you yet, just to be clear,” you say and Seokjin smiles. 

“I didn’t expect you to,” he says. 

Seokjin takes a chance, opening his arms to you slightly. And you want to ignore him, he knows you do, but he’s looking like the perfect cross between pitiful and hopeful. So you give in, slide down into his arms and settle into him. It’s nice, he thinks, because all he honestly wants is for you to be close to him after the last several weeks. You wind an arm around his waist, all curled up in his lap, and he rests his chin on your head, not even minding the way your hair tickles his face. 

It’s the most comfortable he’s been with anyone in ages, possibly ever. He knows that sometimes his words don’t come across the way he wants them to, knows that sometimes he can’t express himself. He hopes you can feel everything he can’t say while you sit like that. 

(You can, you tell him weeks later when you’re going on your third actual date. It’s only the third because you made him actually try to apologize again, properly when there wasn’t a regatta to finish. He obliges because he says you’re worth it. But his words don’t come much easier. Instead, he wants to show you he’s sorry. And you agree to let him.)

Everything after that feels impossibly light. If Seokjin thought the team was running as well as it could the day before, he was wrong. Now that he’s actually feeling lighter and you’re less confused about where you stand, it’s like all of you move in a way that wasn’t possible before. It’s hard to tell where one person ends and the next begins, which translates really well for the next day of races.

(It translates even better for the final day, a day that Seokjin never views as a guarantee. And although the team doesn’t come in first, it’s still probably the best finish Seokjin has ever had in an event this big. So he’ll take it, to the slight surprise of Yoongi and Jungkook, who are used to him always wanting to do better. Instead, he laughs and says that drinks are on him that night.)

Really, it’s all kind of silly. Seokjin put so much energy into a rivalry that was all in his head and didn’t realize how much it was coloring everything he did until taking a step back. Now he realizes just how much he was holding himself back over something that was so stupid.

For the first time, Seokjin is both excited about what’s to come in sailing and seeing what it is he can accomplish with you by his side.

i hope you liked it! please let me know any thoughts ❤️

[lolitafushiguro]

You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To (Toji x Reader)

ー rewriting this again because tumblr deleted the first one :(… just a self-indulgent piece to comfort myself since i'm kind of in a rut lately. don't worry there's no smut, just toji lovin' u. mentions of mental health related stuff and sex are there though. song is by helen merrill!

You had a lot on your mind: the project due by Monday, the appointment to the psychiatrist the next day, an upcoming exam week and the constant existential crisis that have decided to evolve into a seasonal thing in your life.

These days have been exhausting. You are beyond exhausted and you just want to be home.

Glancing up at the starless sky, you feel your gnawing existential dread seeping into you similar to how the moon slowly shifts into a hue of blood red.

Just a little more and you'll be home. Just a few more steps out of this empty city park and you'll be greeted by your soft bed and the warm, crimson lights that decorated the hallways of your apartment building.

And there you were, finally at the doorstep of the apartment that you call home.

You were always greeted by these crimson lamps that seemed to see and hear whatever it is running in your mind. And for once you found comfort in it, because at least you felt seen.

"You'd be so nice to come home to."

When you got to your room you immediately laid down and heaved a tired, but contented sigh. You didn't bother to change your clothes and do your routine like usual. You did want to be with someone. You want to be with him ー to feel his kisses and his touch and his warmth ー

You want to be with Toji.

But you never know if he'll come. When he does, you never know if he'll stay for a day or two or leave at the first hour of the morning. But you wait, even in your sleeping state.

You always wait for him.

2:00 AM. You felt your shoes being taken off of you along with familiar, heavy footsteps pacing around your room. You shifted in your sleep already knowing who it is, a faint smell of aloe and beer lacing together with the scent of your space.

"You'd be so nice by the fire, while the breeze on high sang a lullaby…"

Toji sits beside you in an attempt to quietly take your coat off. However, along with the midnight breeze you awaken to his face, immediately noticing an air of exhaustion around him.

"Hey doll, sorry for comin' this late at night. Just wanna check up on ya." He says, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Toji…" You sat up and buried yourself in his chest ー in his embrace, to which he immediately responded with a tight hug you so missed.

Right then and there, you broke.

You cried and sobbed incoherent words until you managed to gather yourself up to face him. He sat there in silence with you, gently caressing your back and fixing your hair.

"Hey, Toji… can we not have sex tonight? I just… I'm just really exhausted right now and I'm scared. I'm scared of failure and rejection and the future and I ー" Your tears stopped you from finishing your sentence as you cried again.

After a while, Toji spoke.

"Bold of ya to assume I wanna fuck right now." He says almost too seriously.

Sniffling, you let out a chuckle and slapped him on his arm.

"Hey, that was so out of line! Please let me have my moment." You say.

"But I answered your question?"

"Yeah but the way you said it-"

"Okay, alright let's just get ya changed okay?"

Toji looks through your closet for a set of pyjamas and hands it over to you. You thank and coo at him.

"Aww, never knew you'd have this caring side to you Mr. Fushiguro."

"Ugh, will you stop calling me that?" He groans in annoyance as he sits beside you on your bed.

There was a moment of silence where you just leaned on his arm and he played with your hair, letting the hours of dawn pass you by.

"You'd be all that I could desire."

Times like this are rare. You're both the type of people who'd rather die than talk about their woes in life. You both seek diversion whenever this happens and it often leads to sex. Sex is where this relationship between both of you began so you appreciate it when he goes out of his way to initiate something with you. You're comforted at the fact that he needs you as much as you need him and god forbid sometimes, you think to yourself that's all you could ever ask for.

Toji motions you to lay on your stomach to face the window as you both watch the lunar eclipse.

"Wanna take turns in talkin' about it?" He asks, kissing you on your cheek.

You nod in reply.

"Under stars chilled by the winter, under an August November moon burning above"

"Is it a new clinic?" He asks, propping his head with one arm as he turns to face you.

"Yeah, and thank goodness she's a woman. I keep on having a hard time dealing with male psychiatrists and the interns for their impatience, though I'm sure there are great male psychiatrists out there. I feel bad for public institutions though, they always have to deal with so many people every day free of charge." You complain. "What about your sword? Is there any way to fix it?"

"Yeah. But it would take a long time. I have a shit ton of missions piled up on me right now so I have to find a way to find or create an alternative."

"Toji, I'm curious."

"Huh, about what?"

"Why don't you want to fuck?"

Toji shakes his head laughs a little too loud and you glare at him for not taking the question seriously.

"Come on, I wanna know." You persist.

"Nothin'? 'Cus I wanna talk and I'm exhausted like you are. Plus, it would be unfair for ya if I decide to do it with your state right now."

"Aww, look at him. Mr. Fushiguro is all about kinship and fairness. That's so cute-" You coo and try tickling him but Toji stops you when he hovers on top of you with a playful look in his eyes.

"Do that again, I swear and I might change my mind about not fuckin' ya."

Your jaw fell for a minute but then you both burst into laughter.

"You'd be so nice, you'd be paradise…"

Being with him feels like one of the best days of your life where you get to be a giddy teenager again. But, even if you both know that you love each other, this love is fleeting. This love isn't forever. This love won't last like how you both want it to because of the nature of his job. Loving him is like letting go of a paper plane from the top floors of an apartment in New York.

You know that he's there and he will be there, but he's a man who follows the path of the wind, and in turn, you'll never know if he will return once he leaves.

Quiet tears started falling from your eyes again and Toji is quick to pull you into his arms again.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong now?"

"Nothing… I just feel relieved right now that you're here." And at that, he hugs you tighter.

"Aww, look at my sweet sugar pie actin' all grateful and shit." He coos, returning back your teasing.

"Ugh, shut up!" You feigned annoyance and pinched his cheek.

Another moment of silence falls between you both before Toji says,

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"…To come home to and love."

"I know, Toji. Thank you for being here. I love you too."

You reply, pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

ー Lolita

[outrunningthedark]

i've been following u for years now and i love ur blog! but i wonder if u feel like ur getting less enjoyment out of 911? i ask bcuz i feel like the posts and asks i see from u about the show seem overwhelmingly negative, and i just wonder if maybe...u haven't noticed? which sounds dumb but i've definitely gotten into the "habit" of being a fan of something and not realizing until way after the fact that i'm not actually a fan anymore? i'm sorry if this seems presumptuous!!

Reasons why my posts are probably coming off as negative (which is not the first time I've heard this, lol): - I choose to respond to "negativity" rather than delete it because the opinion is usually coming from a place of confusion or frustration, not just trolling for attention. I like to let people know that their feelings are understandable even if not everyone agrees (ie the 'baiting' discussion - is it textbook qbait? nope. but they're also not doing anything to halt the speculation) And tbh, someone else's interpretation has no impact on my own feelings or my experience with the fandom. Negativity that isn't related to real life (excusing ableism, for instance) isn't thought about beyond the few asks I may get in a day when there's more difficult things going on as soon as I sign off. If someone not liking my favorite show was the catalyst for a bad mood...I'd consider my day pretty successful up to that point, lol. - I ship Buddie and want to see the Buckley-Diaz fam be a real thing because of Christopher. I'm not one of the fans who say "ngl idc about Buddie, I just want my fave to be gay" - that's cool, do you, but I want the chemistry and the story more than the "representation". Limited or no Buddie means my interest in the show will take a hit. - My favorite individual character is Chimney. The one that was written out for most of 5A without explanation. I started thinking differently about the show back then, and how he's been handled upon returning has not changed my opinion of the show runners re: undervaluing his presence. - How the show writes Maddie pisses me off because (as an anon talked about the other day) she's *still* disconnected from nearly everyone. It doesn't bother me if "all she does is cry" because I get that Jennifer has a knack for it, but I *do* understand how some could find it tiresome to see her emotional so often. Give her something funny! Let her have a one-on-one convo with a friend where she gets to relax! Make people have a reaction other than "Ugh, not this again" because, I'm sorry, not EVERYONE is gonna love your fave character upon first meeting them or connect to their story. You have to give them a reason to care, especially as the seasons go on. Show a different side, something else someone might be able to relate to! - Idk how anyone can get (genuinely) excited for future episodes of this show when there is a clear divide between how the fandom feels about certain characters and their arcs vs. how the people actually making the decisions approach the situation. Yes, being in a fandom will result in "taking things too seriously" because some people make their fave piece of media their entire personality, but having a show runner be like "lol, we have this running joke about Buck's abandonment issues" or admitting that she struggles to fill in gaps in the story is not going to make the fandom - the people taking the time to read these comments and react on social media - feel like she gives a shit about any of this.

[screentime-princess]

Some thoughts on Titans (hbo max) now that show ended.

(In my head it's not over, bc I'm big on rewatching things so... anyways)

Okay. So first thing I want to make clear is that I'm super new to DC and stuff. I've seen arrowverse, most of it, and some movies, also I really like and care about these characters even though show isn't the best, as I hear everyone say and I kinda agree. But still I like the show!!!

Another thing is that I've seen a lot of people hate on this show and I get that it's not the best show, like writing is sometimes very iffy but I think that it's a good introduction to these characters for someone who has never seen anything or read the comics or stuff like that.

Next one is that I am one season short of finishing Gotham and then I plan on watching DC Animated Universe. So I guess my opinions from this post, might change in the future.

So yeah. Here it goes.

I liked the way first season focused on characters and not so much story even though the bigger story was always it like in the back of the episode(s). But I really enjoyed the fact that it was focused mainly on characters of Dick, Hank. Dawn etc. Who they are as people and how what happened to them is influencing their actions. I really liked every character introduction fr.

Even though I watched the show in like few weeks and then waited for last few episodes to come out week by week, I feel like they should have made Dick and Kory cannon or whatever way sooner. They did, kinda, in those dreams/hallucinations, but still, as much as I like this little kind of open ending, I feel like they have so much chemistry, and it just should've happened sooner. When they were in Gotham that Barbara again storyline, I don't know. That wasn't my cup of tea. Also, the flashback episode with Aqualad in season 2, why introduce a character to be killed?! Give us something else than a cute little love story between Donna and Garth and then pain. I don't know. It was so sudden and I don't like character deaths just for the sake of story line.

One thing I did really like was Gar and Rachel, from the beginning from their first meet-cute in the arcade. It was so freaking cute. The fact that they are different, special, that mutual understanding and acceptance ugh. I don't know why we didn't get that like cannon confirmation that they are a thing. We got all those like little cute scenes of them sitting together and stuff but I don't know, I just needed something real just as for Dick and Kory.

As for other characters, I really liked everyone. Conner's little split good and evil personas. Dawn is the most gentle soul I love her so much. Hank was annoying at moments but he was fine. Donna is the beauty, she is grace. <Tim3 (that's how I feel about him). (And I rant about Jason later, wait for it). I don't know what to say like, I really really liked everyone.

Now, maybe I do a separate post about season 4 because it's the, you know, the freshest one in my head but I did rewatch some of the episodes so idk.

As I'm writing this, I see that it's not all like in chronological order as the seasons progress, but I hope you get the gist of it. I wanted to say that I cannot imagine in my head waiting entire week for the episode about Connor after Jason gets dropped off a building even though I knew that's not how he dies fr, I was scared shitless, like, I love him so much, I don't know. Also that fucking scene on the roof killed me, like it seriously messed me up and no one ever talked about it ever again (him being suicidal). Also Dick going of alone every chance he gets to do stupid shit that would 100% get him killed (babe have you heard of therapy, no?).

The thing that bothered me the most, throughout the entire show is how only Gar seemed to care about others. He was the only one to care about anyone. Only one who gave a fuck when Jason died. Like when Kory was mad @ Jason for "getting himself killed"<<<< (what?). He was the only one that was trying to find out what happened to Jason and how he came back. And he did find out (Go Gar).

I know now that that is most likely because of his connection to all the things dead and living, but they explained it very late in the show, so for someone who has no background knowledge, it was confusing.

Major thing that bothers me -> Why is everyone hating on... Literally everyone. Like these people, actors and actresses did in my opinion, amazing job. Considering the writing, okay?

Like let's be fucking for real. This is the first live action adaptation of these characters. And it could have been so much worse. Let's be honest. It could have been so.much.worse. But it's fine and I think that if people are just okay, with something being different, it would have been fine. Like it doesn't have to be the same as in comics. And from what I heard, there are many interpretations of these characters in different comics and different animated series. I don't understand why everything has to be by the book. Like I've been a MCU fan for a while. And l feel like as much as Marvel fans are like haters at the bottom of their souls (not as much as Star Wars fans) and they are (haters), I feel like they appreciate change a little more. (Haters comment is about fanboys don't get ne wrong babes)

It's fine that it's different. Different is okay. Most of hate I've seen is about Jason. And I don't know, like, people calling him a whining c word?!?!?!? Sorry, why is it bad that he's portrayed with more emotions? Or him feeling like he is not good enough (relatable) and always being second thought would bring anyone to tears (it brought me to tears). So why is that a bad thing in portrayal of this character? Like I said, I know very little about his character and I feel like this introduction is fine, it made me care about him. Isn't that what other people in the fandom want? For other people to care. Why does it have to be a specific version? It made me care. That should be enough no? It made me want to learn more about these characters. So why is everyone so offended by this version of Jason Todd? It doesn't make any sense in my head. I was literally losing my shit watching episode 11 of season 4. Last week was peek of my existence because of him showing up again. I have no words.

So yeah, I don't know. I have so many thoughts about this show and no one to talk to because my friends are lame, not watching the same shows I'm watching, watching Bridgerton and shit (no hate to Bridgerton fans).

<3 if you read it all, thank you <3

[the-karasu-no-one-knows]

Tired.

Sometimes, you have those nights, or even days, where the expenditure of energy is so great that you physically and mentally feel as if you died and are coming back to life with a brain and body that feels like it's been hit by an asteroid. Fuck the Mack truck because that would be easier to contend with. This...is an asteroid.

Ugh.

I took off of work today. I just couldn't after last night. I'm just focused on laundry and listening to my usual YouTube channels streaming and causing me to laugh here and there. Camelot331 pleases my need for humor as well as the need for relaxation for the alters. He's a sweet 32 year old guy from Alabama. Reminds me of my guy friends back in Boarding School. Guys just seem to take things less seriously and they've always valued and enjoyed my lax disposition on nearly everything. I do miss the NN's from my teens.

My best friend Wendy always told me that I hung out with some of the most gorgeous guys on the Island. Heh. I guess I didn't really pay attention to most of that...but wait...I think I kinda did but it wasn't the highlight of my friendships with them. I've been thinking a lot about Jason, Jonas and Jeremy. I can't seem to find anything on Jonas. I didn't catch his last name, then again, he broke the rules of ethics as my counselor at Four Winds by kissing me.

I wonder how he's doing? I treated him so poorly but I was also struggling with the whole Matt situation. He knew that I was assaulted and in hiding. Jonas was patient. Matt was Chinese. Jonas was Filipino. Matt was a gang leader in Chinatown and Jonas was a wonderful man who only wanted to help me as my counselor. All my records have been destroyed. I don't exist. Jonas does only IF I could tell him that I'm alive, covered in scars but alive.

I've looked up Jeremy on Facebook. There are many with his first and last name but I don't know if he's still in Upstate New York or not. I was 17...he was 13...so a lot changes visually. I'm sure I can recognize facial features but location....I'm not necessarily a human GPS. To think he attacked Jason outside the dining hall. I was already a part of Jason's life. Sneaking notes and phone calls at the dining hall and back on our units.

I did feel awful when Jeremy attacked him. Jason seemed pretty shocked to see a 13 year old attacking him; be it he had just turrned 18 himself. I do feel awful about several people (young men) in my life. Christ. What about Jordan? Fucking Hell. My interests attracted all young men and all minors...WITH the exception of a couple who were deflowered by me. Those were NOT minors.

There are things that I would never share on a blog or within the branches that are the Internet. I have a few who do know. One is still out there. He knows so much yet I have no idea where he is with a last name I never bothered to ask of within our 3 year relationship. My 'Ikki'. My 'Sky King'.

Andrew? Am I ever going to see you or hear you again? I just want to know if you're alive. I just want to know if you're safe. I just want to know if you still....oh fuck this! Do you know that every time you enter my thoughts I think of how so many would of seen our relationship as extremely inappropriate and wrong. I think you were the main reason why I started to write a continuation of 'Leon The Professional', using myself as Matilda. You know how a future in that character was not far from who I was. One of the characters I needed to be to fulfill the needs of people who didn't care, as long as the job got done.

You were that young man. You were him! I wanted to rescue you, but at the sake of your own safety and mine? Where would we of gone? Where could I hide you? You would of had to of be hidden by me because you couldn't parade around with me in the public eye. It couldn't of worked that way, as much as you wanted it to. Even as my 'Sky King', I had to be responsible as your 'Fang King'. There was no way it could of worked.

Maybe you knew it could of but I was so fucking fucked up that I didn't think I could hide you from the world. We wanted so much as well as wanting one another so much.

Why does this hurt? You're the only one that hurts but not in a way that was caused by you. Are you upset that I didn't pick you up from Durango? I'm sorry. I'm so extremely sorry Ikki. Maybe it hurts because there has never been closure. I know part of the pain comes from loving you. Loving the idea of us....long ago. All those nights we spent talking and laughing. The pain Alisha caused you yet I always brought you joy and spoiled you.

I don't think I've ever seen the image above Ikki. I can hear you in the back of my mind giggling because you know that I was never keen on affection and I would scowl just like Agito. You, of course, would smile just like that...kissing me affectionately. I know that I was grumpy and miserable at times. You also knew that I broke away from that world and I just had to figure out that I could live a life FREE of dictation. I never really didn't think too much about that world when I was spending time with you.

You always had me focus on something pleasant, but sometimes even you struggled. Your parents having you go through hypnosis and that made me so angry!! I wanted to take you away from them for brainwashing you into thinking that you were some troubled youth. I heard you on those tapes and there was nothing I could do to stop them except come to you and take you away to where they would never hurt you again. That's what you wanted...didn't you?

You didn't understand that if I did that, you would never be seen again and only by me. You knew that and you still didn't care what anyone thought. You just wanted me to rescue you. I have mission dreams Ikki. I have them at least once a week. All these fucking missions that I was assigned to do but yours would of made all other missions forgettable.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't cry right now Ikki. I'm so tired. I want to cry but I can't. I'm just too tired sometimes Ikki. Goddammit where are you?!! Why can't I find you? With all the means that I have....why can't I find you!!! Where are you? You can't find me online. I don't really exist online, unless you miraculously come across this blog and you put 2 and 2 together.

I look so much smaller there. The frustration and anger; yet you always appeared smiling and calm. You could calm me down. You knew I was hurting when I was conquering as many men as I could. You knew it was dangerous yet you didn't judge me. You knew I was fucked up and putting my life in danger, yet you didn't judge that I continued that path to overtake and consume without a conscience.

I had no help once that life ended. What was I supposed to do after two decades of being a "weapon"? Who was going to help me? Only until I was whisked away to the mountains for my only safety, you call me out of the blue to come rescue you and I FUCKING FAILED YOU! You would tell me that I never failed you but I have and maybe when I'm dead and gone, I can forgive myself. Until then...it's you and me...in my dreams and maybe....meeting up in the afterlife.

My 'Sky King'.

[hallelujahmeatgod]

"Do you want to talk about it?"

KEN "DRAKEN" RYUGUJI X READER

+word count: 1580

+warning/s: cursing

+genre: kinda fluff, kinda comedic

"He's in his room and he haven't left that damn room since he arrived"

"He didn't even spare a glance around like he'd usually do, he just went straight to his room. He'd usually help around first before disappearing in there"

You nodded in understanding, looking around the brothel which just opened a few minutes ago.

The people at the brothel called you out of concern for Draken, saying he's been moody and not his usual self. They asked you if you know as to why he's acting the way he is but you haven't got a clue yourself. Quite frankly, you haven't seen Draken yourself for a few days since you've been taking care of family matters.

They asked you to come by since you haven't been in the brothel for quite a while, also to talk to Draken since none of them wanted to deal with him.

"I honestly don't have a clue, but I'll try talking to him. I tried asking Mikey about it but that kid isn’t any help either" You replied, giving them a soft smile for reassurance.

You asked Mikey about Draken before you went to the brothel but that kid just gave you a petty answer, so you're convinced that they're not the bestest of friends right now.

"Honestly, what would we do without you? Anyway, go and talk to his moody ass cause he's getting a little annoying for our liking. Then when you guys are done come out here and let's catch up and eat the snacks you bought!"

You nodded and made your way to his room. Thankfully he didn't lock his door so you were able to just enter. You were expecting to see him splayed on his bed or be working out but he's nowhere to be seen.

"Ken" You called out softly. No reply.

You set your school bag on the ground and walked further into his room. Just when you're about to walk past the bathroom you hear water gently splashing a bit inside.

You slowly opened the door and there he was in the tub, head resting back on the tub facing the ceiling, with his eyes closed. You can tell he's not relaxed at all because of the tensed muscles on his arm and his furrowed brows.

"That tub looks relaxing yet there you are still looking like you're about to fight someone" You said to get his attention. You leaned on the door frame as his eyes shot open.

"Y-Y/n" He said, looking a bit surprised, sitting up straight from the tub.

"Ken" You gave him a small smile.

"What are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed here anymore?" You asked not too seriously.

"You are. You always are. It's just that you seem busy these days" He looked down at the water.

"I'm sorry for not being around, Ken" You gave him an apologetic look.

He shook his head lightly, still looking down at the water. "No need, I understand"

You stayed silent and just observed him. How he's looking intensely at the water, that you swear he could probably boil that water right now just by staring at it. How he's muscles are still nowhere near relaxed. How his breathing isn't steady. How his brows are still furrowed. And how his lips pout a little bit.

You pushed yourself from the door frame, walked up to him and crouched down beside the tub so that you're eye level with him.

"Ken, what's troubling you?" You asked, putting your hand on his nape and caressing it.

He slowly looked at you, looking vulnerable. A sight no one often gets to see, even you. It honestly pains you a little to see such a look from such a strong, stern man who's always got his composure.

He sighs, leaned over the tub and drops his head on your shoulder. "I-I... I'm just not that okay nowadays. I don’t even know anymore.” He admitted.

You hummed in understanding, caressing his nape all the way to his hair, pulling his hair tie to let his hair loose. You ran your hand through his hair, untangling some knots, and for the first time since you saw him he relaxed. You saw his shoulders drop slowly as he let out a breath.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's just so many things bugging my mind. Life here in the brothel, the gang, and other things. It's just one of those phases wherein everything dawns upon you" He sighs, lifting his head just to hide it on the crook of your neck.

"I texted Mikey before going here and he just gave me a petty reply. That also bothering you?" You asked, massaging water on his head to hopefully help him cool down.

"Yeah, we ended up arguing cause he’s not in a good mood and so am I. It's all just chaos in my head right now really" He groans, lifting his arms from the tub and wrapping them around you. You're a little soaked now but you didn't mind, all that matters is him.

He hugged you tighter and tighter until you guys were literally flushed against each other, soaking you more.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I badly wanted to just go to you, to seek refuge in you and just to lay and hold you like this, to calm my mind. But I knew you were dealing with family stuff and that it means a lot to you, so I just bottled it all in."

"It's okay" You pulled away just enough to see his face. You held his face in your hand and caressed his cheeks. "I'm sorry I wasn't around. But now I'm here, you don't have to go through such tough times on your own. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes, just take your time, I’ll wait for you'' You smiled, making him smile. You kissed the corner of his mouth making him roll his eyes. He pulled you on a proper kiss, sighing against your lips.

"Thank you" He said when you pulled away. "Thank you for always being by my side and showing me affection even though I tend to suck at it and sharing my feelings. Just how would I repay you"

"Repay me by relaxing properly, dropping the attitude towards other people, and reconciling with Mikey" He groaned at the last part which made you chuckle.

"What? You'd be doing the gang a favor if you take the initiative, Ken. We all know Mikey wouldn't dare do it, and the longer you guys aren't besties the more agonizing it'll be for the rest of the gang. Imagine the captain and the vice captain being petty, ugh, I already feel bad for all of them" You said humorously, making him pull away completely and sit back on the tub as he pouts.

"I'm always doing it." He pouted even more.

You chuckled, ruffling his hair. "You know Mikey can be an extreme kid when he's not beating up someone."

"Why do I always have to be the bigger person?" He said under his breath.

"I mean you are 6'1 and Mikey's only 5'3"

"You're lame" He immediately countered before laughing lightly, making you laugh too. If being lame means you'll get to hear this giant laugh, well maybe being lame isn’t too bad.

"IS THAT THE GIANT'S LAUGH THAT I HEAR?!" You heard someone say from the outside. Suddenly the door burst open revealing Remi.

Draken rolled his eyes, flipping her off and she flipped him off too.

"Now that the giant doesn't seem like an asshole anymore Y/n let's go and catch up!" She grinned, pulling you up and out of the bathroom, not giving you time to reply.

"Hey! You can't just take her away!" Draken protested, standing up from the tub quickly wrapping his towel around his waist.

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you, restricting Remi from pulling you away. He and Remi immediately looked at each other with daggers as they kept on pulling you. At this point they could definitely cut your body in half.

"Well I already am, what are you gonna do about it?" Remi spat.

"Umm….Pull her away from you? You midget" Draken spat back but more calmly, which is honestly annoying. It's always the most annoying when people talk back in a calm manner...or is that just me?

"At least I'm not as moody as you. You act way worse than a woman on her period or a pregnant lady!"

They went back and forth with you still in between them. For every comeback they kept on pulling you.

"OKAY! Kindly shut the fuck up you two?" You smiled sarcastically at both of them, pulling your arms from them. They both pouted and huffed like little kids, turning away from each other.

"I'll go with Remi now since it has been a while since I saw them." You said, making Remi light up and Draken give you an offended look.

"WHAT--" Draken was about to protest but Remi burst into laughter pulling you to the door. You shrugged at Draken as he gave you a narrowed look and mouthed "traitor"

"Oh-- and when you're done, change the bulb in the lounge room, jerk!" She stuck her tongue out.

"Seriously, when will I ever catch a break-- you know what? Just get out you two!" He groaned, making you and Remi laugh.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

hi I’m here to review the Clementine comic. it’s not good.

Does this even need an introduction? You know why I’ve gathered you all here today. You know the comic exists, and you probably know that it’s not great and we’re all upset about it. 

Myself included. I am not okay. At all. 

Skybound could’ve literally spit in my face and I’d come out feeling better than I did reading this comic, because this comic is an insult to the original Telltale games and Clementine as a character. 

This comic is a fancy fanfic. Glorified fanfiction. It’s not canon, and Skybound and Tillie can pretend that it is, but it’s not. Bold of them to assume we’d just accept this from people who didn’t work on the original games and never wrote for Clementine before, and based on this comic alone, any chance of us taking it seriously is gone. 

I’m gonna go through every single page, every panel, of this comic and give you my review. So I guess if you’re worried about spoilers [though at this point why would you?] then be warned, spoilers for the entire comic ahead. 

I also wanna add that I have nothing against Tillie Walden. I know a lot of dingdongs are harassing her on insta over this comic and that’s not okay. You telling her how much you hate her isn’t going to change anything. If anything, you keep being assholes to her and she’s just gonna block everything out, even things simply critiquing her work in hopes that it helps her improve. 

You’re allowed to be upset about the comic and share your feelings about it, but don’t take it out on the actual human being like that. Besides, like I’ve said before, if Tillie wasn’t gonna make the comic, Skybound would’ve found someone else to do. This was coming no matter what because Skybound wants that coin. 

That being said, I’m not going to hold back my opinions on this comic. Skybound and Tillie made this comic, they put it out there and asked for money for it, therefore I’m allowed to explain why it’s garbage as well as ponder over the questionable intent and whether or not Tillie actually has played these games. Y’know, it’s like how I have nothing against Kent, but sometimes he says things I disagree with and well, y’know how it goes. 

Alright, this is gonna be long, so let’s go--

The first few shots we get are of the school, two people sleeping, and Clementine’s empty bed. Nothing super note-worthy, we have no idea who is sleeping in the beds, it’s just there to establish that it’s early and everyone’s still asleep. 

The drawing of the school looks fine? Not super accurate, but I can give it a pass since it’s a few years later, I assume. What I can’t give a pass is how you managed to already mess up on the first page of your comic. 

Because..... why are you implying that Clementine’s room is upstairs? First of all, seems kinda dumb to put Clem, who has only one leg and has to walk with crutches, upstairs. Also, if you’ve played TFS and paid any attention to where her room is actually located [the dorms] then you’d know there isn’t any stairs leading to their floor. It’s the side building next to the admin building, you walk through the door, go down the hall, take a left and their dorm is right there sooo..... 

Oh right, it’s probably done this way so that we can have such a suspenseful moment where Clementine is sneaking out while the others are asleep and her foot makes a creeeeeeakk that could wake everyone up, thwarting her plans of abandoning everyone quietly so she doesn’t have to deal with any consequences. 

Because yeah, Clementine is sneaking out with all of her supplies because apparently, she’s been planning an escape from this place for a while. 

And just look at how gosh darn happy she is about it. You can’t see or hear me, but know that I’m laughing. Don’t worry, I will talk about her abandoning everyone later.

But first, I have a gripe with Clementine's design in this comic. It doesn’t look like her. This art of her right here is the most accurate we get throughout all 12 pages, and it’s the best looking, too. 

Moving on, she slams the door shut while this walker changes faces and hair between panels, so that’s cool. I will say, I like the idea of the Ericson crew putting spikes on the door. That’s fun. 

Though Clementine slamming the door shut while trying to sneak out seems counter productive but it fits with the theme this comic has of inconsistency, so it works. 

Next we have Clementine going to what I believe is the fishing shack by the river, and she’s going through some things that she’s stashed away, telling us that she’s been planning this escape for a while. 

Oh good, she has a map. Well at least now she won’t get lost out there in the woods while she makes her escape... also that last panel with her profile.... why does it look so funny? Like this page of the comic doesn’t look too bad, but there is something off putting about her eye there and how she has zero expression. 

And it turns out that rustle was a walker, and Clementine is super inconvenienced by this and gives us our first piece of witty dialogue.

Yeah you dumb walker, can’t you see Clementine is busy running away from home and abandoning all of her loved ones without a single goodbye so she doesn’t have to witness the consequences of her selfish actions?? Gosh, so rude.

Just a heads up, the dialogue in this comic is stilted, emotionless, and bland. The words have no flow, no charm, and never feel like they should be coming out of Clementine’s mouth. Then again, the upcoming graphic novels this is tied to are for young adult/middle graders so I guess we have to dumb everything down so their baby brains can process it. 

.....Why does her face look like that? Also, interesting that she decided to move her ponytail to the other side of her head.... which is a thing that happens throughout this comic, her hair will randomly change sides. 

I believe it’s a metaphor for her changing and inconsistent personality. 

So yeah, Clementine is just making off with the supplies she gathered [I’m sure Ericson doesn’t need ‘em anyway] and she’s just so gosh darn annoyed at all these small inconveniences bothering her.... because it’s just too early for this. 

.....Again, why does her face look like that?

I’m sorry, like I get it, Tillie’s style is supposed to be purposely messy yet minimal but it doesn’t work. When you do a comic in a more messy style, usually it has charm and heart put into it. Effort goes into the messy look, and when things are minimal, that usually means more clean, yeah? So you put them together and just..... that is nothing resembling Clementine’s face. 

Can we just--

Look at canon Clementine’s face. Look at the way her eyebrows are shapes, how wide her eyes are with her eye lashes. The dirt on her skin, the lines-- there is so much personality in her features. It doesn’t matter if she’s wearing a neutral expression or she’s expressing anger or joy or sorrow or whatever. 

Now, is it fair to compare a model of Clem from the games to the Clem in this comic? Well, I assume that if Tillie is doing this comic, she would use references from the game to ensure that Clementine is recognizable, especially now that she’s no longer wearing her signature hat. 

So why does she look like this? Why do I look at these drawings of her face and see nothing but a pair of eyes, a nose, and a mouth? You might as well draw me a simple smiley face. And I get that it’s a comic, and it’s a lot of work to draw the same character over and over again and you gotta cut corners somewhere, but maybe put some effort into the close up shots of her face so that we can actually see it’s her? 

Other fan artists have made comics in their styles that shine bright with Clementine’s personality, so what happened here? 

Anyway, surprise..... it’s not a walker annoying Clementine. 

........Why does AJ look like that??? I’m sorry, I hate to do the same thing I just did but--

Just because you put Clementine’s hat on AJ that doesn’t automatically make it him. I just.... wow. This feels like there wasn’t a single reference involved, like if someone gave Tillie a basic description of AJ and she just did this. 

But appearances aside, what is AJ saying? He says that he knew it, that Clementine’s leaving and I cannot stand this dialogue. It’s unnatural. Again, I know you wanna dumb it down for all of us because I guess we dumb.... but this conversation does not feel natural. 

“I knew it. You’re leaving.” “AJ....” “I’m coming.”

Even if you changed it to, “I’m coming with you.” it would sound more natural. Hell, he doesn’t even question WHY she’s leaving, he just stands there like “I’m coming” like??? I’m sorry, have you ever heard a single word this murder baby has said? I assume you have because I assume you actually played TFS, right? Soooo.... what happened here?

.....whY DO THEIR FACES LOOK LIEK THAT KSAJDLKJAS:LKDJLKASJD:L--

So now we’re getting into it.... into the bullshit. 

Clementine tells AJ to go back to the school, and AJ says that she wasn’t even going to say goodbye..... and then more bad dialogue that sound unnatural when you try to fucking read it. 

First off.... AJ’s reaction to Clementine attempting to leave is barely anything. Again, I hate to keep questioning if you actually played TFS, but AJ would throw a fucking fit if he caught Clementine out here ALONE like this, attempting to leave. 

And then he says “Like last time? You were going to come back?” this sentence makes my brain hurt. I just.... “Like last time, right? You’re coming back?” UGH

Wow, I feel nothing. 

I’m sitting here watching these two imposters with fucked up faces who are supposed to be Clementine and AJ and I feel nothing. 

I’m not even going to comment on the faces anymore. You can see it. You know. 

So yeah... AJ tells her the #1 rule, and reminds her that she promised.

Y’know.... she promised that she would never leave him again? Remember? At the McCarroll ranch? That flashback that was in TFS? The one you would watch if you played the game? 

Why is she looking straight at me when she should be looking at AJ as she says this? Is this Clementine’s way of telling me she’s sorry for what a shitty direction this is taking? I wouldn’t know because her face isn’t doing anything. Just because you draw a couple of tears that doesn’t mean I’m feeling the emotional heartbreak you’re attempting to convey. 

I don’t have enough middle fingers for this.

Well, my hat’s off to you. Ya did it. Ya fucked up everything single part of Clementine’s character in the span of two pages, I’m almost impressed. 

First off, the baby thing is weird. Why is she calling him that? She’s never called him that, which you should know.

Second, she’s not happy and that’s why she’s leaving. Clementine isn’t happy, and AJ can’t make her happy. Ericson can’t make her happy. So she’s going to go out on the road to.... what, be unhappy by herself? 

I’m sorry, but apparently we need a few reminders here of who Clementine is, because this isn’t her. 

This is Clementine. 

Clementine fought for years to find a home, something she hasn’t had since she was an eight-year-old girl before the apocalypse. The motor-inn wasn’t a home, the cabin wasn’t home, the ski-lodge, Howe’s, Wellington, Richmond, Prescott, none of them were home. 

She struggled for years, dealing with trauma after trauma while out on the road. She went from group to group, watching people she cared about die and she was powerless to do anything about it. Whenever she let her guard down and become comfortable, it bit in her in the ass and left her heartbroken.

She was there when AJ was born. She grew close to Rebecca while she was pregnant, she let herself do that even after everything she went through with Christa. Clementine had a bond with AJ even before he was born, and after Rebecca died, she did what she could to keep him safe, despite play choice. 

She cried when she thought AJ died and when she found him in that car again. She swore to protect him, to raise him right and love him. All they had was each other. 

And when she joined the new frontier and AJ got sick, she risked everything to save him and she was devastated when they took him away from her. When she found out he was alive, she is willing to go as far as helping Lingard overdose [INJECTING HIM HERSELF IF SHE HAS TO] to figure out his location. She did shitty things to find him, she killed people at McCarroll Ranch to find him again. 

Clementine raised him and he is her family, do you understand that? She went to hell and back for him, she taught him how to protect himself, and even though she made mistakes she sacrificed everything for him. She promised him that they would have a home of their own one day, she talked about how much she wished for a world where she didn’t have to worry about fighting and killing and AJ could just be a happy kid. 

She fought for Ericson, she watched her friends die or become mutilated by someone from her past. She allowed herself to be vulnerable enough to pursue a romantic relationship with Louis or Violet because she felt safe with them, felt safe at Ericson because it’s their home now. 

And when Clementine was bit, she thought she was going to die but she still fought to make sure AJ would be safe and happy without her and it was heartbreaking. She’s dying and the only thing she cares about is AJ. Not herself, not what’s going to happen to her after she dies or turns... no, she tries to make AJ smile again, she makes sure he remembers the rules, and she tells him that she loves him. 

Then he cuts off her leg, and she survives. AJ saved her fucking life, and she got to wake up at home and live to see her family again. She got to push AJ on a tire swing, she got to eat a hot meal and laugh with her friends, she got to make plans with her lover/best friend for what’s next for Ericson, and she got to talk to AJ and tell him the truth... and she asked him if she did a good job, and he’s honest with her right back. 

Hell, she tells him to keep her hat. Her iconic hat. The one thing she has left of her father, possibly her more cherished item. She lets him keep it. 

The last time we see Clementine, she’s happy. She’s sitting on the steps by herself, staring at her family with such fondness in her eyes and a smile on her face because she finally did it. She finally found a home where she can breathe. She has a bed to sleep in, she has AJ with her, she has a boyfriend/girlfriend who loves her and who she loves back, she has friends she can rely on. 

Clementine smiles, and lets out a small laugh. 

She doesn’t have to run anymore. 

And now you have the balls to tell me that AJ and Ericson don’t make Clementine happy anymore. 

She abandons everything to go back out on the road again, and that’s proof enough for me that you don’t understand a damn thing about Clementine or her journey. 

“ I don't even know the person I'm talking about... It's like all we have in common is the same name.” 

....Anyway.

Wow, Clementine found a car and kept is stashed. How lazy and convenient for this bullshit plot. 

And this is the part where I have to tell this comic to fuck off. 

What, you think if you throw in an incredibly inaccurate flashback next to a current pair of hugging Clem and AJ that I’ll feel anything but anger? That flashback is a slap to the face. It’s snowing, but the only time we’ve seen snow is in S2 when AJ was a literal new born, so why is he that big? Is that supposed to be from ANF because that ALSO doesn’t look like that AJ, and that’s not the outfit Clementine had on... AND there was no snow. This is cheap and meaningless. 

Any fan of the series who has played through the games could tell you this. 

So.... AJ runs into the woods and then we get this garbage.

This comic is awful. It misses the point of everything TFS, and the rest of the series, stood for. There is no heart here. I feel no happiness in reading it, and I don’t detect any passion behind it. It’s a lifeless comic that retcons everything in order to throw AJ away and start fresh with a new adventure for Clementine that makes no sense because the cow isn’t profitable unless it’s milked. 

This isn’t canon, and it won’t ever be canon, and honestly? At this point, I have no faith in the graphic novel trilogy. It will take a lot to do a turn around from this, and I don’t even know if that’s possible. 

Again, to reiterate, I don’t have anything personal against Tillie Walden herself. She’s just doing her job, and from what I’ve seen of her as a person, she seems like a sweetheart. I don’t want anyone giving her shit because I think the comic isn’t good or that you agree with me. All of my anger is directed at the comic itself, her work, not specifically her.... and a little bit at Skybound, because they’re the reason this is even a thing in the first place. 

So yeah.... there ya have it. 

[the-scandalorian]

Tempered Glass: Chapter 7

Pairing: Din Djarin x Female Reader Rating: M (will become explicit) Word Count: 5.5k Warnings: slow burn, canon-typical violence, cursing, pining, Din in suspenders, fluff Summary: Din takes a job with his old crew, and you and the kid wait for him on Arvala-7. Notes: Sorry this took me forever!

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

Image from The Art of Star Wars: The Mandalorian

After you left the atmosphere of Tatooine and jumped into hyperspace, Din swiveled his chair around to face you in the copilot’s seat.

“I should take a job. Everything we made went to Peli, and I don’t like being low on credits. There’s a crew I used to run with...I can reach out to them...” he hesitated then added, “but you and the kid can’t come with me.”

“What do you mean I can’t come with you?”

He sighed, shoulders dropping. “I mean, I don’t trust them enough for you and the kid to come.”

“If you don’t trust them, wouldn’t it be better to have backup?��

“I just—,” he looked away, “I don’t want them to know either of you exist.”

“If you don’t trust them, should you be taking a job with them?”

“We don’t have a lot of options.”

“I could get work somewhere. We could go somewhere safe enough for a few weeks. There are some places where I have contacts, and non-bounty hunting work is usually less conspicuous.”

“I don’t think we should stay anywhere that long right now.”

“But—”

“I’ll feel better if you and the kid are safe together.”

“I—”

When he bowed his head in a silent appeal, your determination crumbled.

“Ugh, fine.”

He sighed in relief, reaching out to rest his hand on your knee briefly. His touch was reassuring.

“But, just so you know, this is only going to work once, so don’t think that my staying back with the kid is going to be a regular thing.”

He removed his hand and turned back around to face the viewport.

“I am taking your silence as tacit agreement,” you said to the back of his helmet.

He chose to ignore that, fiddling with the controls instead.

***

Now that you’d both admitted you wanted to stay together, abandoning the pretense of strategy and convenience all together, things were a little off between you and Din. Neither of you were used to being vulnerable, so conversations were slightly stunted again. You found yourself being overly polite, and Din was doing the same.

That first night back on the Crest, he offered you his bunk.

“I’m not taking your bed. You need it to take off your helmet.”

Besides the unshakable lingering chill of the hull, sleeping there wasn’t that bad. You usually slept with every sweater you owned on and that kept you warm enough.

“Use it when I’m not. You shouldn't have to sleep on the floor.”

“Sure, thanks,” you agreed, knowing you’d never take him up on that. You didn’t want to be on a different sleep schedule than he and the kid.

You did try to nap with the kid in Din’s bunk the next day because there wasn’t all that much to do in hyperspace. As soon as you lay down, though, you knew it was a mistake. First of all, it was crazy uncomfortable (somehow not better than the literal floor and the close walls made it slightly claustrophobic), and second—and far more importantly—it smelled overwhelmingly like Din. It smelled like his pine-y soap and beskar and blaster residue and leather and whatever else made up his infuriatingly good scent. It conjured images of crackling fires and golden skin and warm embraces and taut muscles.

Shit.

There was no chance you were going to be able to fall sleep when all you could think about was him.

The kid, on the other hand, was snoozing contentedly beside you. When you’d fully given up on napping, you edged your way out the bunk carefully, doing your best not to wake him.

Din was sitting in the hull on a long crate against the wall, cleaning his blaster, the pieces spread out next to him. Usually, when you were in the hull at the same time, you’d find a place across from him. Instead, you purposefully sat next to him, drawing your knees up to your chest and leaning against the wall.

You decided you were going to push through this awkward phase and make things not weird right there, right then. And you were going to do that the best way you knew how.

He tilted his helmet toward you momentarily then refocused on the blaster in his hand.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes,” he said, running a rag along the barrel.

“How does one develop a catchphrase? Does it happen organically or is there an iterative brainstorming process?”

Din paused, sighing dramatically, set his blaster and the rag down next to him, and pushed himself back until he was also leaning against the metal wall. His helmet clunked slightly as he relaxed it back. “This is the way is not a catchphrase. It’s a tenet of the Creed.”

“And ‘I can bring you in warm or I can bring you in cold’ is also a tenet of the Creed?”

He lolled his helmet to the side, looking down at you. “Okay, fine, that one isn’t,” he conceded.

“So you admit it—you have at least one catchphrase that you regularly use on bounties.” You smirked up at him.

Without missing a beat, Din fixed you with that unreadable visor and quipped: “I’ve been told I have a sexy voice. I’m just giving the people what they want.”

Your jaw dropped, a shocked laugh echoing through the hull. You had planned on teasing him and had not expected him to turn it around on you so smoothly.

“Uh... I was sort of hoping we’d stick to our unspoken agreement to not bring up the stupid things I said when I was drunk.” You looked down at your hands, suddenly unable to meet his gaze.

“Oh, definitely not.”

You looked back up. “Alright, well then in the name of fairness, we’re going to have to get you really drunk the next time the opportunity presents itself, so we can see what embarrassing things you say.”

He paused for a moment, considering, then said, “Does that mean you’ll carry me home?”

You cracked a smile, nodding vigorously. “Of course. That would only be fair.”

A warm laugh rasped through the modulator. You crossed your ankles in front of you, letting your knee rest against the cold beskar on this thigh.

“I feel skeptical of that promise.” He dropped a gloved hand to your knee.

“Okay, okay I can’t promise to carry you home, but I can promise to tie your shoe if needed.”

“My boots don’t have laces.” He lifted a foot off the ground to show you.

You shrugged playfully: “Well, that’s not my fault.”

“This doesn’t sound like a very good deal for me. I tied your shoe and carried you home.”

“To be fair, both were against my will.”

“But necessary.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Okay, okay, I can’t carry you, and I can’t tie your shoe... so I’ll...,” you bit your lip as you fished around for something else to offer, “...hold your hand? And not let anyone tickle you.”

He huffed and rubbed his thumb over your knee: “I’m not ticklish.”

You pursed your lips. “Right, sure, of course not. My mistake.”

He harrumphed. “Can I ask you something now?”

“I’ll allow it,” you intoned seriously.

“Where are you actually from?”

“Naboo. Most of my back story was true—I just left out the one major detail.”

“Your favorite color?” he deadpanned.

You laughed. “Yes, exactly. What about you? Where are you from?”

“Aq Vetina.”

You waited, hoping he’d elaborate.

“When my parents died there, I was rescued by the Mandalorians and raised in the Fighting Corps.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, placing your hand over his and squeezing gently. “That sounds like a tough life for a child.”

“It was all I knew,” he explained, shifting slightly.

“Still, that can’t have been easy. It makes sense that you couldn’t leave the kid.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, solemnly. There was a tension in his shoulders that hadn’t been there moments ago.

“Less serious question,” you replied, changing the subject to something lighter.

“Okay.” He relaxed a little.

“Why don’t you ever use a straw to drink with your helmet on?”

“These are the things you think about?” he laughed. His laugh was usually a quiet, muffled sound through the modulator, but it was getting easier to pick up on it. “There’s a seal on the helmet, otherwise the filters wouldn’t work,” he tapped the release on the side of his head. “So a straw isn’t a possibility, unfortunately.”

“Mmm,” you responded, “that is disappointing.”

He gripped your thigh lightly, turning toward you. “I, uh, heard back about the job... while you were asleep. It’s a go.”

“Ah... great. I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t hear back.”

“I know. It will be fine.”

“Okay... So, any ideas for where the kid and I should stay?”

To your surprise, Din explained that he had a trusted friend on Arvala-7. When you agreed to the plan, he disappeared to the cockpit to set the nav—a two-day trip.

***

That same evening, you discovered a new favorite activity on the Crest. Before bed, the kid was being particularly fussy, so you pulled out your data pad and downloaded the first children’s book you could find. It worked liked a charm.

From then on, it became a daily routine: you’d read to him until his eyelids drooped before his nap and before bedtime. Regardless of his mood, listening to you read seemed to soothe him. You’d pull him into your lap and settle onto your stack of blankets against the wall. He’d watch your face, enraptured, as you relayed story after story to him. His favorite—the story that elicited the most chirps and grabby motions and ear wiggles—centered on a family of frogs. You revisited that one at least once a day, sometimes more if he was grouchy.

You weren’t sure how to feel about his hyperfixation on that particular story given his appetite for frogs.

At this rate, your digital library was going to be largely children’s books. You didn’t mind.

You noticed that Din would find something to do in the hull while you read. The first couple times, he sat and cleaned one of his many weapons or sewed a hole in his flight suit. Very quickly, he stopped bothering with an ostensible task and would just sit and listen.

When you were still 15 hours out from Arvala-7, Din was seated on his usual crate in the hull, the one next to the weapons cabinet, as you finished the final page of a particularly thrilling story about a snail. The kid was snoring softly in your arms, so you clicked off your datapad, and got up to settle him in his hammock for his mid-day nap.

“You’re good with him.” Din was leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees.

“I guess,” you shrugged, snapping the door to Din’s bunk shut and turning back to him. “I just think about what I liked as a kid. I loved when my parents would read to me.”

He nodded, helmet trained on the floor between his boots.

“I’m sorry—” you started, realizing how that must have sounded to Din.

He looked up and cut you off. “Don’t be. It’s nice for him to have some normal kid experiences.”

“You know what he’d really love?”

“What?”

“If you read to him.”

He dipped his helmet slightly in acknowledgement, rolling his shoulders back at the same time like he was uncomfortable agreeing with that.

Several hours later, you pulled Din down next to you in your normal pre-bedtime story time spot. He had the kid in his arms. You switched on your datapad and toggled through the catalog of books you’d downloaded, all of which had colorful covers and silly, whimsical titles, until you found the frog book.

“Here,” you offered, passing it over to him.

You leaned your head back against the wall and closed your eyes, listening to Din’s serious, even voice narrate the heartwarming hijinks of a family of frogs. The kid cooed and babbled along.

To your (and the kid’s) utter delight, Din’s rendition slowly evolved into a full-on dramatic reading, complete with sound effects and slightly different voices for each character, as he leaned into whatever prompted the most enthusiastic responses from the kid. You kept your eyes closed and said nothing, worried that if you drew attention to this new development, he’d get self-conscious and stop. You couldn’t help from smiling a little though.

When the story came to its conclusion, you opened your eyes. Din was scrolling through the library of options, browsing for the next book. “What do you think? Which one next?” You looked at him, but he wasn’t asking you. The kid let out a string of gibberish, pointing with a teeny finger. Din read out the titles of several options, selecting the one that triggered the most animated trill.

As Din began the story, he shifted until his body was flush with yours. The places where his beskar made contact with you were cold, even through the fabric of your clothes, but you didn’t mind.

By the time Din finished the second book, the kid was displaying the telltale signs—drooping ears and unfocused eyes—that bedtime had arrived.

Din handed you the datapad and stood to tuck the kid into bed.

As he shut the door to his bunk, you said, “I think you just put me out of a job.”

He scoffed, but you could tell he was pleased.

***

As you got more comfortable around each other, Din took to walking around without his armor—beside his helmet—on. Most of the time, he’d even leave his gloves off. He wore either a flight suit that zipped up the middle or a black shirt and pants...with suspenders. The first few times, it was jarring to see him like that, without his armor. He looked wrong. It was like seeing a turtle without its shell... but if turtles were sexy.

The first time he emerged from his bunk with the suspenders hanging loosely by his sides, you stopped dead, mouth hanging open. He tilted his helmet sharply at you: “What?”

“You sometimes wear suspenders under your armor?”

“...Yes?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you and the goofy grin that spread across your face.

“What?” he prompted again, shoulders pulling up toward his neck.

“I just really wasn’t expecting that,” you laughed.

“What were you expecting?” The playful note in his voice left you flustered. He took a step closer, much more relaxed now that he was the one doing the teasing. He was getting too good at flipping things on you.

Instead of answering—because you were not about to address the fact that you had absolutely thought about what he wore under his armor—you strode up to him and pulled the suspenders over his shoulders. He stood uncomfortably still, arms hanging awkwardly by his sides.

“What are you doing?” He looked down at his shirt then back up at you.

“I just want to get the full picture.” You looked him up and down.

“Thought about this a lot, have you?” He quirked his helmet down at you suggestively. It was only the second time you’d gotten that particular flavor of head tilt, and you...didn’t hate it. It made your neck feel hot. You disregarded the intense desire to grab him by the suspenders and jerk him toward you.

Instead, you narrowed your eyes at him, enjoying this new bold flirtation. Without looking away from his visor, you hooked a finger through one of the suspenders and pulled it out a couple inches, letting it snap back against him.

“Ow.” He stated it so matter-of-factly that it obviously hadn’t hurt, but for dramatic effect, he rubbed the spot on his chest where it hit him.

“You’ll survive,” you assured him, patting his shoulder and brushing past him to climb the ladder to the cockpit. When you sat down in the pilot’s seat and kicked your feet up to rest on the console, you still had a smile on your face.

***

A few hours later, you were seated in the copilot seat with the child held tightly in your lap as the Razor Crest descended through the atmosphere of Arvala-7. On the way, Din shared how he’d met this friend—he had helped Din when he was originally tracking down the child months ago.

However, when you asked what his friend’s name was, Din said he didn’t know. Honestly, you weren’t even that surprised. Just exasperated.

Din told you the details of when he tracked down the child, including the assassin droid he'd crossed paths with. He explained how he’d teamed up with IG-11, but in the end, he had to destroy the droid to protect the kid. The anger in his voice was raw when he described watching IG-11 point his blaster at the child.

As the dusty, cracked surface of the planet came into view, you asked, “Is that what caused your thing with droids?”

“What thing?”

“Din.”

He was silent for a long moment.

“Droids destroyed my home planet, killed my parents. They’re the reason I was a foundling as a child.”

His words washed over you, and your heart dropped. You leaned forward in your seat to put a hand on his shoulder. He stayed perfectly still, helmet trained on the controls in front of him.

“I’m sorry.”

He nodded stiffly and reached up to squeeze your hand briefly.

“We’re about to land.”

You took that as a cue to drop the subject for now.

***

You and Din, the kid in his arms, approached a small collection of low structures. You swept your eyes across the uniform landscape—all was dry and sienna and flat. The Ugnaught’s homestead was the only sign of habitation in sight. The buildings were brown and domed, and windmills creaked slowly in the warm breeze. Three blurrgs in a large corral watched you balefully.

“Mandalorian!” the Ugnaught greeted, emerging from the door of his low home.

“Ugnaught,” Din replied with a nod.

“I did not think I would see you here again. What business brings you back to Arvala-7?”

“I was hoping that my friends could stay with you for a couple nights—I’ll pay you for the lodging.”

Of course he'd refer to me and a literal infant as his "friends."

You introduced yourself, offering your hand.

The Ugnaught bowed his head slightly as he clasped your hand: “It is nice to make your acquaintance. I am Kuill.”

At least Din knows his name now.

Kuill turned back to Din. “The child remains in your care,” he observed.

“Yes,” said Din, offering no explanation. He set the child down on the ground, and he toddled his way slowly over to Kuill.

Kuill scooped up the baby, and he chirruped happily, reaching toward his whiskery mustache.

“It hasn’t grown much.”

“I think it might be a Strand-Cast.”

You shot Din a skeptical look. He’d never shared this particular theory of his with you.

“I don’t think it was engineered. I’ve worked in the gene farms. This one looks evolved. Too ugly,” mused Kuill.

You raised your eyebrows at the frankness of his statement. He is not ugly.

“Your friends are welcome to stay with me. No payment will be necessary. I have spoken.” Kuill turned and headed back inside without so much as a backward glance.

“I insist,” Din said to his back.

Kuill disappeared into his home.

Din turned to you: “He does that. Just ends a conversation like that.”

“I understand why the two of you get along so well. Men of few words.” You raised an eyebrow at him.

Din nodded, reinforcing your point inadvertently.

You and Din stepped closer to each other at the same time. For the first time, you let the concern you were feeling color your features.

“I’ll be back in three days, if not sooner.”

He was padding his timeline in response to the worry that was etched across your face. You knew Din could defend himself—that wasn’t your fear. It was that, whether he liked to admit it or not, he occasionally let trust blind him. The irony of that wasn’t lost on you, considering how long it had taken for him to trust you. This was the trademark paradox of Din. He was loath to fully let people in, but he had a tendency to take people at face value and assume they would keep their word—because he always kept his word. He had a surprisingly generous worldview for someone with such a violent profession and brutal past.

Din reached down to grab something small that was tucked in his belt—the metal ball from one of the controls in the cockpit that the kid loved to play with. He occasionally pretended to be irritated whenever he wanted to play with it, but you knew he found it endearing.

He handed it to you. “He’ll want that.”

You smiled and nodded, looking at the sphere in your palm. Din raised a hand to your chin and tilted your face back up to his.

Do we... hug? He doesn’t seem like a hugger.

So instead, you offered, “Be careful, okay?”

“I will,” he promised. He stayed there for a moment longer, looking at you and rubbing his thumb along your cheek. Before you could decide if you should also try to hug him, he turned abruptly to walk back to the Crest.

You stayed and watched him as he walked the distance back to the ship and disappeared up the ramp. You stayed and watched as the Razor Crest rumbled to life and took off. You stayed and watched as it ascended through the atmosphere and vanished from view.

***

It was a relief to be off the ship for a few days—even if Arvala-7 wasn’t exactly your ideal planet. It would be a treat to eat real food, instead of shelf-stable ration packs, and to have more than the limited space of the ship to move around in... not to mention an actual bed.

Kuill was a kind and welcoming host. He offered you his spare room, where you placed your things, and you sat down for tea together in his small kitchen.

“How did you come to be in the company of the Mandalorian and the child?”

“I guess he has a soft spot for people who are wanted by the Empire?” you chuckled, and Kuill nodded somberly. “Now, we’re just helping each other out.” You weren’t really sure how else to explain it.

Kuill didn’t press you anymore than that, nodding sagely. Instead, while you sipped your tea with the kid on your lap, he told you about his background—decades of indentured servitude to the Empire before he worked off his debt and bought his freedom—in the solemn, frugal way that was clearly characteristic of the Ugnaught. You understood why Din trusted him: he was forthright, calm, wise.

“What can I help you with while I’m here?” you asked, already anxious to find something to occupy your time.

“You are my guest. You do not need to do any work.”

“I would be happy to,” you insisted. “I would rather be busy. I can help with cleaning or repairs—whatever you need. My formal training was in programming, but I’ve picked up general skills along the way.”

Kuill nodded and said, “Come.”

He turned and walked out of his house. You set down your tea on the table and followed him, the child tucked in the crook of your elbow, happily clutching the silver ball. Kuill stopped in front of the workstation that was a short distance from his doorway. Tools and wiring and various speeder parts were arranged on and around a long workbench and a collection of smaller tables and shelves. The circular backdrop of the workbench was the repurposed window of a TIE fighter.

An assassin droid was laid across the tabletop.

“Is this the droid that Mando shot?”

“I believe so, yes. It was left behind, in the Mandalorian’s wake of destruction. I found it lying where it fell—devoid of all life. I recovered the flotsam and staked it as my own in accordance with the Charter of the New Republic. Little remains of its neural harness. Reconstruction will be quite difficult.”

“What are your plans for it?”

“To convert it from an assassin droid to something more useful: a protocol and nurse droid.”

You nodded. “Handy.”

“I will have to reconstruct the neural harness, and then it will have to relearn every function from scratch. It will be a blank slate on which to program something nurturing instead of destructive. You may help me restore him if you would like.”

“Of course.”

The two of you got to work.

***

That night, when you lay down to sleep, you tossed and turned. The child was snuggled in a makeshift crib next to your bed. You found yourself sitting up periodically to check on him. Every time you checked on him, he was sleeping soundly.

Eventually, you slipped out of your bed, tiptoed quietly through the house, and walked out into the cold, clear night. You walked aimlessly for a while, circling the corral of blurrgs. They were asleep, eyes shut tight, standing in a close clump. Then you turned to head out across the open plain and watch the stars through the thin veil of clouds that dusted the sky.

You were starting to regret that you hadn’t pushed harder to go with Din. He was with a whole team of people who sounded untrustworthy at best, malicious at worst. You couldn’t help but think of all the things you should have said to him before he left. You hadn’t even hugged him.

It was freaking you out a little just how attached you were to a man who you’d known for a couple months.

You walked until the chill of the night air became too much, then turned back.

In the morning, you sat at Kuill’s kitchen table again, feeding the child. Kuill moved around the small food prep area, pulling together breakfast and making tea.

You followed Kuill as he went about his daily jobs, caring for the blurrgs, doing routine maintenance, and continuing the work on IG-11.

You were sweating in the sun, hands covered in grease, concentrating on refitting a damaged arm joint when Kuill’s calm voice brought you out of your train of thought.

“It is curious that the Mandalorian elected to keep the child.”

You looked up at him. “He secretly has a soft heart,” you said, smiling to yourself.

“Yes, that much is clear, but he is also set in his beliefs, and this choice went against the Guild Code. What is curious is that such a small being could inspire a change of heart in such a rigid person.”

You considered his words.

“I... think he was just waiting to find a greater purpose than hunting, to find someone to love, you know? It comes naturally to him, but I don’t think he’d ever had the chance.”

Kuill hummed thoughtfully. “Is that not what we are all doing—looking for a greater purpose?”

“I guess?” You shrugged.

“And have you?”

“Have I what?” you asked, wiping a bead of sweat off your forehead.

“Have you found the greater purpose you were looking for?”

You considered for a moment then said, “Well... I found a purpose a long time ago, when I joined the Alliance, and since then, I’ve been too busy trying to escape the wrath of the Empire to really think about what’s next in the larger sense... Staying alive has been the main priority.”

Kuill hummed again, glancing over at the kid. “You weren’t looking for something greater, but it appears to have found you.”

“I...,” you started. You watched the child, who was siting on the hard ground admiring the silver ball clutched in his hand. “I’m not sure.”

“I have spoken,” said Kuill, bowing his head, and he lapsed back into silence.

You watched the kid as he dropped the ball and staggered to his feet, squealing excitedly as he chased a lizard that darted past him. You wondered where Din was at this exact moment, and your heart squeezed in a familiar way.

***

The second night was much like the first. You walked outside for some time, thinking of all the awful things that could be happening to Din.

What if they turn on him?

What if another hunter finds him?

What if he doesn’t come back?

It wasn't a crazy thought. You were used to people not coming back.

Until that moment, you hadn't considered that you'd be the sole guardian of the kid if Din didn't return. For a split second, you felt the crushing weight of responsibility for the life and safety and happiness of the tiny green child that Din must feel at all times.

Eventually you fell into a fitful sleep, waking early, and the day dawned bright and cold. As the sun climbed, the chill rapidly dissipated, making way for a dry heat that seemed to be the only weather condition on Arvala-7.

You spent the morning helping Kuill continue the repairs on IG-11. You did your best to not count the hours that slipped by. He’d said it could take three days, so there was no reason to be concerned yet.

But... did he mean he would return ON the third day? Or the fourth day?

And for that matter... did the day he left count as day one? Or was yesterday day one?

Did he mean seventy-two hours from the time he left? Or that he’d be back at the start of the third day?

How did I not clarify this before he left??

That evening, you were in deep in discussion about artificial intelligence when Kuill said, “I believe your Mandalorian has returned to you.” He pointed behind you, and you whipped around to see the Crest touching down in a cloud of dust in the distance.

“Will you—?” you asked, turning back to Kuill.

“I will watch the child.” He seemed vaguely amused by your enthusiasm.

You sprang to your feet and walked as fast as you could toward the Crest. You briefly considered running, but that felt dramatic. He’d only been gone a couple days.

Why did he land so fucking far away?

You’d made it about half the distance when the ramp of the Crest finally began to lower with a hiss. Your resolve snapped, and you started to jog. Din descended the ramp, and you were so relieved to see him that you weren’t even embarrassed anymore that you were literally running to him.

Din cocked his head—a curious head tilt—when he saw you sprinting at him across the dusty ground. He paused at the bottom of the ramp.

“Are you—?” he started to say as you crashed into his chest and wrapped your arms around him. He barely budged upon impact.

His shoulders relaxed immediately, and he pulled you tight against him.

Well, if he wasn’t a hugger before, he is now.

“I’m okay,” he reassured you.

“Good,” you said into the fabric bunched around his neck.

After a moment, you released him and stepped back, the steadying weight of his hands remaining on your arms. He looked like he was in one piece, but the slight heaviness in his shoulders told you that the job had taken a toll on him.

“I, uh, missed you too,” he said, a little awkwardly.

You smiled at him and took his gloved hand in yours to walk back towards Kuill’s home. You felt slightly giddy that you were casually holding the Mandalorian’s hand. He seemed taken by it too, his helmet tilted down to where your fingers were intertwined.

“The kid?” he asked, looking up to your face.

“He’s good. Misses you, I think. Ate several frogs. And one lizard. The usual. He is disgusting,” you laughed.

Din made a sound that you would almost swear was a snort. “Yeah, he is,” he agreed fondly.

Kuill was waiting outside his home, the child in his arms. When you and Din were close, Kuill set him down, and the baby tottered over to wrap his tiny arms around Din’s calf.

You watched as Din bent stiffly, slowly to pick up the kid.

“You’re hurt,” you realized.

“I'm fine,” he said.

You felt sure that wasn’t true, but you let it be for the moment.

“Thank you,” Din addressed Kuill. He reached into the pouch of his belt for credits.

“I will not accept payment,” Kuill insisted, shaking his head. “In fact, your friend here helped me make great progress on my current project.” Kuill raised his eyebrows at you.

“Very well,” Din acquiesced.

You gathered your things and said your thank yous and goodbyes, returning to the Crest, which—with a jolt—you realized was already starting to feel like home.

***

Chapter 8

***

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[maggotzombie]

needy ; henry cavill

CONTINUATION: UNTAMED

PAIRING: Henry Cavill x Reader (fem) SUMMARY: You want Henry to pay attention to you but he keeps playing WoW and TikTok give you some ideas. TIME PERIOD: April of 2020 (midst of the rona [covid-19] quarantine craziness); WORDS: 3,2k TW: fluff, teasing, smut, dirty talk, daddy kink, punishment. A/N: I’m writing this very late, I know. Also, this is my first take on a few subjects I’m not comfortable with (such as daddy kink and punishment), so bear with me, please!! 🙃 This gif (nsfw) was a reference for this 3,2k smutt lol thanks @could-be-cavill​ for my inspiration. — 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

HENRY IS playing World of Warcraft.

Again

He’s playing that stupid game again.

Usually, I’m not bothered by that. He rarely has time to indulge himself with it anyway. But I usually have something to do, too. Well, usually.

This quarantine is lasting an awfully long time and I’ve run out of things to do.

Here’s a list of what I’ve done so far:

I’ve reorganized everything (bookshelves, closet, cabinets, etc.);

Scrubbed every inch of the house to perfection (I still have a few scratches on my hands from the chemicals of the cleaning products);

Kal has never been this well-groomed before.

I’m honestly tired of watching TV and looking at my phone. Actually, I’ve been spending a lot of time on the device lately. All of this because of the persistent and annoying ads of an app called TikTok.

My biggest mistake was downloading it out of curiosity.

It. Is. Addictive. Simple as that.

I sigh softly, twirling a strand of hair on my index finger as I watch my lovely, brawny, and completely fuckable boyfriend from the sofa. He’s talking complete nonsense and sometimes even speaking loudly, with his blue eyes fixed on the screen instead of me.

Kal’s head is resting on my lap and he glances worryingly at his best friend when he raises his voice.

An idea pops up in my head (thanks to the aforementioned app) and I smirk. Henry doesn’t even blink as I place a hand on his shoulder, he’s one-hundred percent focused on that stupid game.

He frowns when I pop my head in between his arms. “What are you doing?” He asks, letting go of the mouse so I can go through. “What’s this?”

I smile, making myself comfortable on his lap while facing him. Finally some eye contact. Without a reply, Henry shakes his head and goes back to the game, adjusting me to not get in his way.

After a minute or two, it seems I’m not an obstacle at all. In fact, Henry is now shouting directly to my ear due to our position. A pout forms in my lips as I reassess the strategy and I nuzzle my face into his neck in thought, making goosebumps flash over his skin.

Oh.

As my soft lips brush against the crook of his neck, more goosebumps rise. Still testing the waters, I graze my teeth at the same spot. Suddenly, my boyfriend is very quiet and I can even hear the people he’s playing with on his headset.

Henry’s breath shallows when I plant a kiss on his weak spot; just below his earlobe.

“Stop it,” He whispers to me as his cock twitches against me.

“I don’t think you want me to,” I move his microphone away from his lips.

I push my tongue into his mouth boldly and I receive an appreciative moan back. I explore his mouth slowly but sensually and I can feel his hard-on starting to growl against my groin.

Suddenly he breaks the kiss and shoots me a warning glare, clearing his throat. “Yeah, I’m here,” He says after adjusting his mic. “Just got slightly distracted.”

Scoffing, I buckle my hips hard against his boner and Henry hisses at the friction.

“Y/N...” Henry whispers warningly with heavy breathing.

In response, I give him a smug smile before attaching my lips back to his neck. I slip my hands under his shirt and my boyfriend groans, contracting his muscles. As my eager fingertips brush against his hard and well-defined abs, my tongue darts out to caress the sweet spot under his ear.

Ignoring his scolding and protest, I take off his headset from his left ear and take his earlobe in between my lips. My man’s breath gets caught up in his throat and his hand grabs my hip to stop me from grinding against his hard cock.

“Fuck,” He curses through gritted teeth.

Confusion takes over his face as I climb down off his lap but then he tenses again when I kneel in between his legs. Hands flat on his thick thighs, I’m able to move it very little towards my goal before Henry grabs my wrists.

He throws the headset onto the keyboard carelessly and gets up from the chair, taking me with him. I giggle in amusement as he pins me down on the sofa, hands above my head.

“What are you doing?” Henry asks in all seriousness.

“I’m bored!” I say honestly, looking into his eyes with mischief. “Play with me!” I pout and open a smirk at his expression.

“I’m busy right now,” He points out and I ignore it by trying to kiss his lips. My boyfriend moves his head away from my reach and gives me a stern look. “Wait for your turn, kitten,” Henry says.

“Since when do kittens do what they’re told to?” I ask, raising my knee to rub against his crotch. “They do whatever the fuck they want to,” I purr, watching his concentration faltering for an instant.

My boyfriend blinks and shakes his head before growling. He pins my leg down with his knee and applies more of his weight on my wrists, making it a bit uncomfortable but without hurting me.

“This kitten will obey. Otherwise, daddy will punish her later,” Henry provokes back but it makes me all tingly.

“Hmmm,” I hum, trying to reach him once again. “How about now? I misbehaved, right?”

“Later,” He says pointedly.

Before I can say or do anything else, Henry lifts his weight off me and moves away. I sit on the sofa to see him sitting back in front of the computer, completely ignoring me.

I hiss at him, just like a cat, and he throws a smirk my way while putting his headset back on. Pissed off by the rejection, I get up and leave the room. By the time I reach the stairs to the second floor, I can hear the shouting about the game resuming.

First, I jump on our big bed and just scream my frustration on a pillow. Eventually, I lie onto my back and stare at the ceiling pondering what to do next.

I’m SO bored.

Then I strip down and get into the bathtub where I watch even more TikToks. Thirty minutes later, after the water got too cold, I step out of it and wrap a towel around my body. I am about to carry on my daily routine when another idea provided by the beloved app pops into my head.

Ignoring the fact that I’m leaving small pools of water at each step I take, I walk down the stairs. Henry is exactly where I left him: on the stupid computer, playing the stupid game and shouting stupid things to children.

Ugh!

He doesn’t acknowledge my presence as I stand at the foot of the staircase and I open my towel. Nothing yet. I remove it completely from my body and I’m still invisible. Praying for some good aim, I throw the wet towel at him.

I call it a strike as it lands on top of his head. Huffing to gather some patience, Henry takes the towel off of his head and slowly turns to look at me. From where I’m standing, I can see the change in his eyes.

Without saying a word, he closes the game and throws the towel onto the floor. He’s up from his chair and sprinting towards me in a heartbeat. I turn hot on my heels to run upstairs, but my boyfriend’s arms wrap around my waist as I’m about to climb the second flight of the stairs.

“Nuh-uh,” He says against my ear, trapping my body with his against the wall. “You wanted my attention,” He continues and I can feel his hand shuffling something on my lower back. “Now you got it.”

My hands struggle to find something to grab and I lose my breath as Henry plunges into me without so much as a warm-up nor a warning. He groans at the sensation of my walls squeezing him angrily and pulls my arms to my back, locking it so I can’t move.

“Ah! So tight, baby girl,” He whispers without moving.

I don’t reply and it makes him grab my face by my jaw and turn it to the side. Nuzzling my temple, he produces the sexiest sound ever into my ear.

“What happened? The cat got your tongue?” His baritone voice hits a new low.

I clench around him. “Jesus Christ, Henry,” I breath out, wiggling my backside towards him and inciting a new moan from him. “Touch me,” I plead.

“Where, kitten?” Henry asks, letting go of my arms. “Use your words,” One hand travels down to my clit while the other grabs my left breast. “Here or here?”

First, he toys with my nub, making me get wetter. Then, he squeezes my boob and pinches my nipple. I moan, pressing my forehead against the wall. Each move gives me different waves of pleasure, both very welcomed and appreciated.

“Kitten?” He calls when I don’t reply.

“Y-Yes,” I reply, already weak resting my head back on his shoulder.

“You’re such a tease, but it doesn’t go beyond that, huh?” My boyfriend chuckles, calling me out.

“Baby, please,” I whine, clutching to his wrist.

Chuckling slightly again, he nuzzles his face into my neck and starts to toy with my clit. Slowly, Henry starts to bulge his hips against mine, making both of us moan. His hand comes down from my boob to squeeze my hip as he intensifies his thrusting and the movement of his hand.

In a swift move, he peels off his shirt, discarding it to the ground. I take the opportunity to move my hips at my own pace now that he doesn’t have his hands on me. But his strong grip returns to my hips and I see stars at the speed of his thrusts.

The obscene sound of our bodies fills the house along with our lewd moans. My boyfriend slows down when I rest my head back against his shoulder, eyes screwed shut as little spasms start to run over my body.

“You take my cock so well, baby girl,” He says against my temple, breathing heavily. “You like my big, fat cock tearing you apart, don’t you, kitten?”

My lust-filled brain can barely register the question as his throbbing cock gently caresses my G-spot. However, a loud and tingly smack on my right ass cheek startles me, prompting my wrecked neurons to put together a reply.

“I fucking love it,” I say through gritted teeth, raising my head and glancing at him over my shoulder. “Go faster, daddy,” I moan and bite my lip. “I want to come all over your delicious cock.”

Henry’s eyes darken by my request and he grabs my jaw, crashing his lips against mine. Our kiss is a bit rough, tongues battling for control until he pulls my bottom lip with his teeth.

“I’ll make you come so hard that you’ll regret interrupting my game,” He tells me.

The excitement of his words gives me chills and I chuckle with mischief. “Do you promise?” I glance at him seductively, my teasing self returning to the game.

“Cross my heart,” My boyfriend reassures me, one of his hands sliding back down in between my legs. “Are you ready?”

The question is ignored as my brain is reduced to mush once again. More than before, my legs spread apart and my ass is up in the air for easy access. All of that balanced in my tiptoes that are becoming numb by now.

My pussy clenches around his cock as he massages my clit and restarts to pound into me senselessly. I moan, feeling my orgasm close. Henry groans louder, throwing his head back as his hips crush against my ass, the slapping sounding immoral and loud like both of us.

His hands finally give some attention to my boobs, kneading both of them. Like an expert, he teases my hard nipples, making me shiver from pleasure and I reach down to rub myself as I feel the first sparkles of the orgasm.

Lips come in contact with the sensitive skin of my nape and I start to lose it. “Oh, my God,” I breathe out, rubbing my clit faster. “D-Daddy,” I stutter as my toes start to curl up.

“Yes, kitten. Come all over daddy’s cock,” Henry growls into my ear, fucking me harder.

“I’m so close,” I whisper, completely out of breath. “Ah!” My moan reaches a note higher when he takes over and starts to rub my clit again.

Both his hand and hips move at an absurd fast pace and I literally see stars, coming hard on his cock. My legs buckle and Henry catches me before I fall without stopping his movements. My pussy clutches him so hard that I bet he’s gonna come anytime soon.

“Aaaah! Shit.”

My eyes are screwed shut and I squeeze my thighs together. It makes my pussy tighter around Henry’s girthy shaft, making him moan, but he still doesn’t stop thrusting hard into me nor rubbing my clit. I try to move his hand away just to fail miserably.

“Come on, kitten,” He pants, holding me against his body. “I know you can do it.”

“Oh, Henry!” I nearly shout as all my muscles tense up before becoming jelly.

I come once again and my thighs feel wet. Henry finally slows down his thrusts before sliding out of me. I feel the bliss of the orgasm and, if it weren’t for his strong arms secured around my waist, I’d fall to the ground.

“You did so well, baby girl,” My boyfriend praises me.

I try to catch my breath and rest my head against his chest. “Did you come?” I ask, feeling his hard cock on my lower back.

“Not yet,” He squeezes my overly sensitive boobs.

“What?” I frown, exhausted. “What is this?” I ask, looking at the water pool on the floor that I stepped on.

Henry chuckles, feeling amused by my confusion. “You squirted, kitten,” He explains.

This surprises me. “Seriously?”

I have never done this before.

“Yeah,” He muses, balancing my weight in between his arms. “Come on,” Henry says, nudging me to climb up the stairs.

“I can’t walk,” I giggle, looking up at him from over my shoulder.

His brow is furrowed as he looks down at me with his attentive azure eyes. Then, Henry flips me around and picks me up like a doll, throwing me over his shoulder. I gasp at the slap he lands across my ass but he quickly makes it up by spreading kisses on my thigh.

The air is knocked out of my lungs once again when he throws me onto the mattress. I look up at the Greek God boyfriend that I have and smirk, running one foot over his torso. He pushes my leg down and hovers over me, taking my lips possessively in a heated kiss. I moan into his mouth and my hands slide down from his back to squeeze his ass.

However, Henry takes both of my hands and pins it down above my head. “Keep it there,” He orders. “Do not move it.”

Biting my lips, I nod while looking into his eyes. In a swift move and still pinning my hands above my head, he flips me on the mattress. A quiet squeal followed by a giggle escapes my lips and I wiggle my ass, adjusting myself in the new position. Henry kneads my butt cheeks as I feel his lips on my back and I sigh, feeling the familiar chill running down my spine once again.

He goes lower and lower until he isn’t holding my hands anymore. Bending my knees slightly, my boyfriend makes me pop my ass up, exposing my pussy to him. I let out a long and obscene moan as I feel his mouth latch onto my very sensitive core.

Henry’s tongue is merciless. He devours my pussy, licking all my juices and flicking my clit with expertise. My hands clutch at the comforter in pleasure and I moan at the vibration of his groan, pumping himself while eating me out.

“B-Baby, I’m gonna…” I start, feeling the wonderful sensation building up again. Henry simply hums and starts to massage my clit with his thumb. “Fuuuck,” The shaking begins and, in a matter of seconds, I come hard on his mouth.

Another appreciative moan comes from my man while he licks me clean. This time, he has to hold my thighs tightly so I don’t move.

My breath is rapid and I’m still feeling the aftermath of my third climax when Henry pushes into me. I instantly clench around him a bunch of times, my walls too sensitive from the intense activity it's experiencing.

“Fuck, kitten,” Henry moans into my ear, lying on top of me. “If you keep doing that, I won’t last long.”

I try to say something, but my brain is so overwhelmed by now that I can’t put together a simple phrase. And, if it was bad before, it gets worse as he starts to thrust. He picks up the speed quickly and, once again, the slapping sound of his hips hitting against my ass echoes in the room.

Henry’s moans and panting in my ear are way too much to handle and I’m coming into his cock almost right after he began ramming into me. He slows down, prolonging my fourth orgasm and adding more fire to it by nibbling my earlobe and reaching down to rub my clit.

I can’t close my legs because one of his is right between mine, but I try my best. My eyes nearly get stuck on the back of my head as I come yet again. All my muscles feel sore from tensing up and relaxing repetitively and my throat hurts from moaning.

When I think I can’t take anymore, Henry tenses above me, his thrust becoming irregular and rougher. He moans, a very dirty moan, finally coating my walls with his warm, thick load. A few more pumps and he eases out of me, giving me a sweet kiss on the cheek before he rolls off me and crashes to my side.

My body is too exhausted to move and I just stay in the same position he put me in, trying to regain my breath. Aftershocks still make my limbs tremble then and there and I feel numb.

“That was awesome,” Henry says, trying to catch his breath too. “Baby?” He asks when I don’t say anything. “Are you okay?” His hand feels cold against my skin.

“You’re a pussy destroyer,” I breathe out with my eyes closed, making him laugh.

“You squirted again,” My boyfriend points out, feeling very proud of himself.

“I figured I would,” I say, trying to move only to moan at the discomfort coming from between my legs. I end up rolling to the side, resting my back against his chest. “I won’t be able to sit for days.”

“That’s what you get from interrupting my game,” Henry says playfully, squeezing my boobs.

“Oh, I’ll do that more often, then,” I tease, making him laugh again.

[queen-yalo]

Naruto | Headcanons | Arranged marriage

Request: Hello bby ily and i am here to bother you with another request about the founders (YES with zuzu u know why 🥺) i’m a huge sucker for this trope for some reason so — arranged marriage hc? With a shy s/o who does her best to make things work but is just. Kinda intimidated by their new husbando. How would they try to make their darling more comfortable and happy? :’3 ilyyy [by @mina-ships]

A/N: Okay, that makes two of us. ;-; Thank you for requesting! ♥ Hope you enjoy!

Pairing(s): Hashirama Senju x reader; Izuna Uchiha x reader; Madara Uchiha x reader; Tobirama Senju x reader

+++

• Oh, this sweet cinnamon roll. Let’s be real, if you were forced into an arranged marriage and he’d be the one you would have to marry... jackpot, okay? 

• Hashirama doesn’t care that he has to marry someone he doesn’t love. But he cares about you as a person. He is so selfless, he’s more concerned about your wellbeing than about his. 

•  So, when you two get married, he is determined to make your relationship work. He does everything he can to get to know you, your hobbies, interests, favorite food, music, etc. That doesn't make it very difficult for you to try and make this work, too. You spoil him day and night, wanting him to always be in a good mood.

• He has no problem with shyness whatsoever. He understands that the situation is very difficult for you. He’s a very gentle and patient man, so he will try over and over again, until he coaxes you out of your shell. He doesn’t expect you to change. You can be shy and introverted. All he wants is to see a reaction. An assurance that his advances and his efforts are not fruitless. 

• Sooner or later you will fall for this man. Maybe or maybe not in a passionate “let’s elope” kind of way. But you will definitely develop feelings for him. You will learn to value and love him. Not because he forces you, but because he is determined to be the best husband for you. You will be happy in this marriage, even though your life didn’t turn out the way you wanted. 

• Uchiha-Brat No. 1. A gentleman, still... a brat. A very charming gentleman-brat. Okay, let’s get into detail on this. Izuna is not happy about being forced into an arranged marriage. But it’s a necessary evil so he might as well make the best out of it. 

• He is a bit of a manwhore, until you become his fiancée. He knows that it would make you feel bad, but the main reason for his change in behavior is his brother. Madara made it very clear that he wants Izuna to treat you with the upmost respect since he is representing the whole clan in a way. Izuna begrudgingly agrees.

• It's weird for him at first. He's extroverted, quite talkative and likes to joke around. And you? You are shy. Very shy. You can't even properly look him in the eyes when he gets you to talk? It frustrates him to no end.

• He will spend more time at his brother's office ranting, rather than trying to talk it out with you. Again, Madara is his voice of reason. You're very young, you were ripped from your family into a new environment, married off to someone you don't know... you need time, that's all.

• Izuna notices how you try to make the relationship work in your own way. You keep the house clean, you make the best meals, you make him tea when he starts to get stressed... sometimes you even grace him with a small smile. Izuna decides to not give up and just slowly coaxes you to be more open.

• Feelings will definitely develop at one point. Who could not love that cute face? That goes for both of you. ;) Seriously though, you will grow very close and your marriage will have it's difficulties, but all in all it's very nice and fulfilling.

• Madara knew he had to get married at one point, most likely to someone he didn't know. Ever since he was young he got used to that thought, so when the day came it wasn't really a shocking surprise to him.

• Much like his brother, he's quite frustrated with your shyness - for many reasons. Not only because he doesn't deal well with shy people, but also because you're the clan leader's wife. People might randomly approach you to talk to you about stuff concerning the clan, asking for help, etc. They wouldn't trust an overly shy woman. He had to get this shyness out of you somehow.

• He observes you closely. You're determined, talented, smart, charming, hard-working. At one point he starts smiling when he thinks of you. He's looking forward to come home every day, knowing that you're waiting for him there. It's weird at first, but he likes the feeling.

• Over time he helps you to overcome your shyness. He doesn't want you to become someone you're not. But he wants you to be bold enough to hold conversations with strangers and politicians, etc. He's very proud of you when you succeed.

• Madara and you will grow very close. Even if you never really fall in love (which you will), you two are inseparable. You know you can rely on each other, you work well together and you would never choose someone else over the other.

• Poor you. Grumpy SenjuTM has no interest in a relationship, let alone marriage. And you will feel it. Hashirama can talk a little bit of reason into him, but.. oh well.

• He leaves early and comes home late. Conversation? Apart from "thank you for the meal" and "goodnight" - not much.

• Tobirama takes everything you do for granted. Everything. And at one point he gets used to it. You doing all the work at home, pampering him day and night. He actually enjoys your shyness since you're one of the few people that doesn't talk his ear off *cough* Hashirama *cough*.

• It's not until that one day that he comes home earlier than usual, finding you in the garden, crying and sobbing heavily. He asks you what happened... but nothing could have prepared him for that outburst. You got inside (of course you didn't want the neighbors to hear everything) and started yelling. You didn't mean to yell, but all that built up frustration had to get out.

• You yelled how you didn't know what else to do. You tried being a good wife, you tried making him happy but he just didn't seem to notice. Or did he just not care? Was that it? Was that really how he was? Ignorant? Cold? Tobirama gulped. He didn't know you felt like that. He just thought that it was good enough as it is. You two weren't fighting and you didn't hate each other and that was already more than most arranged couples could say, right?

• But Tobirama isn't an ass. Plus, he liked your outburst. Obviously there was more behind that shy facade of yours and that made him curious. He promises to better himself and show more effort in the future. Now, with Tobirama it's never just words, you know? When he says he'll do something, he'll do it. Even if it takes a while and it doesn't come easy to him.

• But he will think about what he can do for you. Flowers? Any kind of tea that you like? A new kimono maybe? ..........(physical) affection? He shuddered slightly. But he tried his best to make you feel appreciated and over time... he didn't like to admit it, but he liked cuddling you? Ugh. 🙄

• He definitely catches feelings. He never felt something like this before.. but he grows to like it. And he's so thankful that you became his wife, even if you had a rocky start and not everything is sunshine and unicorns. He wouldn't trade you or this marriage for the world. And neither would you.

[thenamesseven]

Pairing: Lee Donghyuk x Reader

Genre: Comedy, romance.

Warnings: None, just some swearing.

Word count: 6.2k

Plot: You didn’t know how your best friend had managed to convince you to go to this blind date, you hated the idea and you knew it was not going to be succesful since the very beginning, specially since she refused to tell you who the guy was. If only you had known it was Lee Donghyuk, the only person in this world that seemed to hate you, you wouldn’t even have bothered to get dressed up in the first place.

Check out the NCT masterlist here for more oneshots and stories!

A/N: This is a part of an event I wanted to participate in! You can check the event’s masterlist here to see more upcoming oneshots!

Sitting on the passenger seat of your best friend's car you stared ahead at the american styled cinema, where the blind date she had organized for you would take place in. You kept internally swearing at yourself, trying to remember why you had agreed to something like this in the first place. Yuna had been insisting about this for an entire week and you had grown tired of her whining at some point so you had accepted that the only way to make it end had been accepting the blind date and here you were, having a mental breakdown while desperately trying to calm yourself down. You couldn’t lie though, the idea of opening the car door and running away before she could catch up to you had crossed your mind more times that you would like to admit but you knew Yuna would ran you over with her car to stop you if she had to, she had no mercy when it came to things like this. 

Dates had never been your forte and you didn’t need to be a genius to guess blind dates weren’t going to be suited for you either. It was not that you were socially awkward, in fact, you had always been the kind of person that attracted everybody’s attention unintentionally, your big, bright smiles always lighting up the room you were in. The cheerful yet easy-going aura that surrounded you 24/7 lifted up even the worse moods and your positive mindset gave you this chill flow that turned contagious, people basically loved to be around you.

Although the little confidence you seemed to have around your friends was quick to vanish when you found yourself alone with someone that was of the opposite sex. Compliments made you stutter, innocent caresses made your eyes zero on the ground underneath your feet and flirting turned your face red. Everyone thought it was cute, guys kept muttering how their heart melted when you turned so shy around them but you honestly didn’t like it, in fact, it only made you feel even less confident when any of those things happened. Nobody noticed it made you feel uncomfortable, that the constant fidgeting that you unconsciously did when all of those things happened wasn’t because you were too shy but because you wanted to get out of there. You tended to avoid all those kinds of interactions at all cost and that implied avoiding dates. Being single is alright anyways, you didn’t feel an urgent need to change that.

So again, why the hell were you here then?

“Ah-ah” The sudden voice of Yuna, the one to blame about your current situation, made you jump on your seat, not having expected her to speak up out of nowhere. Your hand moved away from the door handle as if it had burned you and your eyes closed defeated while you slumped back against the leathered seat “Don’t even think about running away” Her warning made you whine, face scrunching up in dislike which earned you a strong slap on your arm.

“Ow!” You screamed shocked, opening your eyes to look at her in disbelief “What was that for? I wasn’t going to run away!” 

Struggling to keep her serious face on, Yuna glared at you “You’re going to ruin your make up if you keep frowning so much!” She scolded, rolling her eyes when you lied at her “Please (Y/N), we both know you suck at lying so let’s just ignore you were trying to open that door and started running as if you were possessed” 

“Please Yuna?” You asked quietly, almost ready to kneel down on your seat and start seriously begging “I’ll do all the house chores for a week, I’ll even do your laundry” When Yuna shook her head, you sighed in frustration, knowing she was determined to make this blind date happen no matter what. “What’s so special about this date that you’re not letting me back down from this?” 

“I’m doing it for you, I’m sure you’ll have fun in this one” Yuna said gently, her smile turning sweet as she faced you, reaching out to rest one of her hands on your shoulder so she could give it a soft squeeze “Trust me, I’ve never lied to you, have I?”

“Well” You said quietly, giving up as you relaxed, a smirk appearing on your lips “Actually…”

“Get out of my car!” She screamed, not letting you finish the sentence that would refutate her last question “Take your ass into that cinema and have fun tonight, you’ll tell me all the details later!” 

Opening your mouth, you were about to let out another little rant full of complaints and whines but Yuna, who had obviously seen this coming, sped up and left you completely alone in the parking lot. A cold breeze blew right on time, making your body shiver as you slid your sweaty hands in your pockets, your brain still trying to weigh the decisions you had in hand.

Enter the cinema and attempt to enjoy your blind date or be painfully murdered by Yuna.

You were too young to die, your daily life was awkward enough so why not add a bit more of it for a few hours?

“I’m seriously going to kill her when I get home” You muttered out loud, fixing your jacket as you forced yourself to start walking in the direction of the cinema. One step at a time, moving against your will.

Right when you approached the door and reached out to pull it open, someone else pushed it from the inside, almost hitting your face with it. Ready to scold whoever had been so careless, you put your baddie face on and rested your hands on your waist copying the position Yuna used to scold you whenever you did something wrong. Although it was a couple who walked out, hands intertwined and eyes too focused on the other to even realize you were standing there. You opened your mouth to say something but your heart clenched just in time to stop your own voice, feeling bad for almost interrupting the little moment they were having. You could only look at the both of them as they walked away, a quiet sigh exiting your lips when you felt a spark of jealousy in your chest, being single might not be as fun as you wanted it to be, if only dating was simple as that couple made it be....

"Get out, I'm late!" 

Interrupting your train of thoughts, a presence behind you and apparently willing to head inside the cinema at light's speed pushed past you without even looking back to see if he had made you fall down.

"Hey!" You shouted, stumbling back but luckily resting your hand against a nearby wall to steady yourself, frowning at the masculine figure that ran inside the cinema. He was now the new target of your inner frustration, which had gotten so much stronger that you didn’t even realized that voice didn’t belong to a stranger but to someone you fairly knew. You caught a glimpse of his long black coat and his fluffy hair but it still didn’t ring any bells to you "Ugh, why so-"

Dusting off your clothes, your eyes landed on the watch you had chosen to wear tonight and when you saw the time, your heart literally stopped beating. You had arrived fifteen minutes earlier, how were you late all of a sudden? 

"Excuse me!" You exclaimed as you ran past the cute couple, barely managing to dodge them as you rushed inside as well. Their complaints were cut off by you closing the cinema's door behind you but you weren't fast enough to stop your own feet before walking into the guy that had made his way in before you, the one that ran into you like a freaking rugby player. 

"Ow!" He jumped away when your face slammed the back of his coat, sending waves of pain through your nose. Your hands flew to your face and you bit down hard onto your lower lip to not start swearing like a truck driver. "Dude, watch where you're going!"

"Where am I going?" You said in pain, still covering your face as you tried to get rid of the couple of tears that had appeared in your eyes "What were you doing standing there like a creep?" You heard him groan and the sound only seemed even more familiar but you still couldn't guess who he was. 

"Wait" Surprised by the sound of your voice, Donghyuk turned around so fast that he almost hurt himself. His eyes opened wide and his mouth opened and closed as if he was a fish out of the water. "(Y/N)? Is that you?" At the sound of your name you couldn’t help but peek up curiously, willing to see who was the one to blame for almost breaking your nose. 

The first thing you saw were the white and spotless adidas he was wearing, they seemed new unlike the ones you had at home which were totally worn out from how much you’ve been wearing them. Then your eyes moved up without missing the way his black tight jeans hugged his legs, leaving little to nothing to your imagination as the white oversize shirt he was wearing left you wondering what could be hiding underneath it.

“Are you checking me out?” Donghyuk asked scoffing, still looking at you “Gross”

“D-Donghyuk?” His name came out of your lips in a quiet whisper, stuttering it. You sniffed quietly, rubbing your nose one last time before putting your hands back down into your pockets “What are you doing here?” Your question brought frowns up to both of your faces, this was why you tended to avoid dates, what kind of question was that in the first place?

“I could ask the same thing to you” He replied smugly, shrugging as he turned his full attention on to you. 

Getting slightly self-conscious, you gathered all the courage that was still remaining in you and crossed your arms over your chest, slightly raising your chin a little so you would look a bit more intimidating instead of looking like a lost puppy. 

“I’m here because I’m going on a blind date” You said, your lips unconsciously scrunching up in a cute pout “Why?”

Donghyuk and you weren’t best friends, you didn’t even know if the two of you were even close to be friends to begin with. He was in most of your classes which had forced the two of you to interact a couple of times but he always seemed to be kind of unwilling when it came to maintaining a conversation with you. You didn’t know why but you always assumed he just didn’t like you, your parents had always told you not everybody was going to want to be your friend and he, apparently, was one.

“A blind date?” Donghyuk started laughing at your words, looking at you as if he had just heard the funniest thing in the universe, hands resting upon his stomach as he slightly bent down a little bit. After almost five seconds where you were seriously considering he might have lost his mind, Donghyuk’s smile disappeared and was replaced by a straight line. “You’re kidding me, right?” Blinking, you could only stare at his face feeling extremely confused, was he mad now? How did he go from laughing his lungs out to look as if he wanted to punch you?

“Are you bipolar?” You blurted out, not even thinking before making the question.

“Are you dumb?” He reached out to knock on your head gently, making you flinch underneath his knuckles every time they met the side of your skull “Sounds empty to me so yeah, you might be”

“Ow!” You pushed him away, not willing to be knocked on the head again, throwing daggers with your eyes at him “What’s wrong with you? Did you lose your mind or something!?” 

“Please tell me Yuna did not set you up for that date” He whined, stomping one of his feet down onto the floor as he ran his fingers through his hair, kind of messing it up a little bit. Stress was evident on his face now and you were too busy wondering how could he go through so many emotions in such little time to remember you still had to answer him “(Y/N)? Are you even listening to me!?” He snapped his fingers in front of your eyes, bringing you out of your short trance to meet his once again.

“She did….Why?” You replied, slightly tilting your head, looking at him expectantly to see which emotion will you be able to see on his face this time.

It was frustration. 

“Why? Why!?” He exclaimed, resting his hands on his hips, eyes as open as ever as he stared down at you “Mark! I’m so going to kill him” He fumed, not answering your question, confusing you even more with his random answer.

“Mark? What does your best friend have to do with this?” You asked, reaching up to scratch the back of your head, feeling extremely lost in this conversation. 

Donghyuk whined once again “You’re really are dumb, aren’t you?” He said looking like he was about to cry from how angry he was “Mark and Yuna are dating, they obviously set us up on purpose!” The lady at the front desk flinched a little bit when he raised his voice even more, you smiled apologetically at her and bowed your head lightly, apologizing for his behaviour.

Now it made sense why Yuna had refused to even tell you the name of the guy you had to meet. 

“Don’t you trust my taste?” She had asked with a cute pout, one she knew you wouldn’t be able to resist “He’s a good guy! You’ll have so much fun with him” Yuna giggled mischievously, reaching out to grab both of your hands so you could keep your attention on her “And he’s quite handsome too, you’ll thank me for this”

“How would I find him in that place though? I don’t even know how he looks like” You had complained, looking at her, knowing she already had an answer for that.

“You’ll know when you get there, don’t worry about that!”

Yuna’s giggles and words hadn’t been suspicious back then but now that you replayed the conversation in your head, you saw the obvious signs of her pulling you into one of her naughty plans. She was surely going to hear a good scolding from you as soon as you set one foot into your apartment, oh, she was going to regret this so hard.

“Quite handsome my ass” You mumbled pouting, voice so low that Donghyuk didn’t even hear you over his own frustration. Glancing at him, you couldn’t help but laugh quietly at his angry typing, if he kept touching his phone screen that hard the phone would end up breaking for sure.

“He’s not picking up or answering to my texts” He told you, sighing defeated, pinching the bridge of his nose “He’s so dead when I get home”

“Yuna’s not going to pick up either, don’t bother to try” You informed him, standing there as more people walked inside, willing to have the fun you had wanted to have until you found out who was supposed to be your companion for the night.

“And what are we supposed to do now?” He asked reaching down into his pocket and fishing out what seemed to be two tickets for a movie “I already bought the tickets” 

His words brought a frown to your face “What if I didn’t like the movie you chose?” You asked pouting at him. You had been dying to check out the new comedy romance that came out not too long ago in which your favorite actor, Cha Eunwoo, starred as the main male character. Donghyuk didn’t even think about choosing that one for sure.

“Yes, thank you Donghyuk for buying the tickets, I could have paid for mine” He said in a high pitched voice, trying to imitate yours “I didn’t know you were the one I was being set up with, I would have made you pay for everything if I had-” Not letting him finish his sentence, you used your purse to hit Donghyuk’s side as hard as you could. “Ow! What was that for?” Donghyuk complained, watching you stealing one of the tickets from his hand as you walked inside the cinema without saying something else, not even waiting for him “(Y/N)! Hey! Hey!”

The people around you probably thought you were having a lovers quarrel….

If the only knew.

----------

Plopping down onto your designated seat, you leaned back against it letting out a soft sigh, keeping your eyes glued to the huge white screen situated in front of you while Donghyuk occupied the seat besides yours.

“If someone we know sees us together, you’re dead” He grumbled, tapping his foot against the floor at a speed that surely wasn’t human “I can’t believe we’re doing this” Donghyuk whispered, shaking his head, looking disappointed in himself.

“You already bought the tickets” You answered shrugging “You would have wasted your money if we had decided to not watch it”

“At least you got popcorn” He muttered without even glancing your way, automatically reaching out to put his hand into the popcorn you just bought.

But before he succeeded in stealing some, you managed to move it away earning another glare for him, if looks could kill, you would have been buried already “I bought this” Despite your words and your strong feelings against him eating the popcorn you bought, you quickly regretted saying it when you remembered he had bought the tickets before you could even think about paying for yours. Besides, he looked as if he could kill you right now and you weren’t going to take the risk of eating something he wanted while sitting in a dark room for two hours more or less.

“Thank you” He said quietly, turning his glare into a fake sweet smile, shoving a bunch of your sweet and delicious popcorn into his mouth and absolutely ignoring the glare and pout on your face as you looked at him.

“What movie are we watching?” You asked him, keeping your eyes on the screen as you also started eating, at this point, there would be no popcorn left when the movie started.

“I told Jaemin to get me the tickets for that Eunwoo’s movie, I know all girls are crazy about him and knew my date would have enjoyed watching it” He explained shrugging, surprising you, he had definitely put more effort than you had expected him to for this date.

After that, Donghyuk and you stayed quiet. The snacks the two of you bought were enough of a distraction to not feel awkward with the silence that had settled down between the two of you while you waited for the lights to turn down. There was no conversation when the popcorns were almost over either so you busied yourself with the trailers that were being played, getting hyped at some movies, thinking you would definitely have to come with Yuna to see them if you didn’t murder her tonight. 

A few minutes later the movie started playing and you had to admit you were kind of excited about it. Even if it hurt your ego to admit it, Donghyuk had been kind of sweet, choosing a movie that would surely bore him out instead of picking a horror or an action one that would have put you to sleep in seconds. He had known a romance movie was a safe choice for a date and you silently gave him credit for that, whoever ended up going on a date with him after tonight’s disaster was surely kind of lucky. 

Although things started getting kind of weird and alarms started ringing in your head when you were almost thirty minutes into the movie and Cha Eunwoo, who was supposed to be one of the main characters, hadn’t appeared yet. The starting had thrown you off a little, there was no high school and no girls falling in love with Eunwoo and you definitely accepted the two of you were sitting in the wrong movie when the guy that showed up seemed to be running away from something supernatural that ended up killing him.

Damn, you would have been in tears if that had been Eunwoo. 

“Uh…” You didn’t know if you should point it out but one glance at Donghyuk told you he seemed to be as uneasy as you were about this entire thing “I think we walked into the wrong room” You whispered, avoiding to lean closer to him. However, when he didn’t even glance your way, you assumed he was either deaf, ignoring you or too into the movie to realize you were talking to him. Moving as quietly as you could, in order to not disturb anyone around you, you leaned in closer to Donghyuk’s ear, making sure he would hear you this time “Donghyuk” You called him out again.

He didn’t shout but his body moved faster than you could react and in a second, all the popcorn that had been left in the container placed between the two of you rained down on your heads. Donghyuk had flinched too hard and his arms had automatically reached up in the air, making the container fly and spilling its content on the two of you just right when one of the ghosts that were apparently haunting his home scared the main character.

“What the fuck (Y/N)?” He asked, serious as ever as he turned his head to look into your eyes. You could feel tears gathering in your eyes as you bit your lip as hard as you could, avoiding to start laughing your lungs out at what you had just seen. You should have recorded it, Donghyuk scared was the funniest thing you’ve ever seen in your life “Are you trying to murder me or something because I ate your popcorn?” 

“Maybe” You only said, afraid that if you spoke for longer you would inevitably started laughing and get your ass kicked out of the room.

“Well you almost accomplished your mission” He said letting out a soft sigh, placing his hand on his chest as his heart kept pounding incredibly hard “Jesus, hanging out with you is not being good for my health at all” He whispered, shaking his head, looking down at his knees. 

“Didn’t you get the tickets for that romance movie though?” You finally decided to ask, still close to him to keep your voice as quiet as you could, Donghyuk’s eyes were already back on the screen, his hand eating the popcorn that had fallen on him “I don’t see any romance going on here” 

When he turned around to face you, his face was in a mix of still offended by his previous yet faint heart attack and a silent ‘are you dumb?’ question “Well the guys wanted to organized this entire thing, I trusted them and right after I saw who Mark had paired me up with I knew Jaemin hadn’t bought the tickets for the movie I wanted either”

“So you’re telling me I have to seat here and-”

“SHHH” Someone from the seats above yours interrupted your sentence, probably fed up with your chatting. 

Donghyuk looked over his shoulder and just when you thought he was about to defend you he opened his mouth and surprised you -not for the best- once again “I know right, she’s annoying” You couldn’t hold yourself back though and slapped his arm, ignoring the way he frowned and glared at you while you accommodated yourself back on your seat. 

“Idiot” You whispered, rolling your eyes, letting him devour the popcorn YOU bought for YOURSELF, deciding to just focus on the movie and on planning how you were going to get rid of Yuna’s corpse once you killed her.

When your eyes returned to the screen, the main character was currently going downstairs, lights turned off and a flashlight in his hand. You rolled your eyes at the cliche situation and again mentally thought why always people in horror movies thought it was a good idea to check a weird noise without carrying something that could help you defend yourself. In fact, if it was you in that movie, you would have locked yourself in your bedroom and yeeted yourself out of the window. 

No murderer or ghost was going to end your life. Not if you were managing to get through this horrible date.

---------

“Can we grab some food?” You asked as soon as the two of you were out of the movie  room, ignoring the way the rest of the couples glanced your way and chuckled, obviously amused by how the two of you had behaved during the entire movie. Donghyuk would never admit it but he had been as scared as you, miraculously none of you had shitted your pants.

“No” Donghyuk quickly rejected, not even daring to look at you “Let me just take you home and end this horrible date, please?” 

“But I’m hungry” You pouted behind him, using your whiny voice to get on his nerves even more

Donghyuk stopped walking suddenly, making you walk straight into his back once again. This time though you managed to get a quick whiff of the cologne he had chosen to wear tonight, to say he smelled nice would be a total misunderstandment. If it wasn’t for his shitty attitude towards you, you would have to admit that he could have totally stolen your heart away with his looks and that killer smile he always carried around when he was joking with his friends. Unfortunately, his dislike towards you was enough to let you know the two of you would never end up having a relationship like that, you would have to settle with him standing you throughout the rest of the night.

He was quick to turn around though, placing his hands on your shoulders to stabilize you in case you lost your balance “You’re not going to stop whining until we get something to eat, right?” He asked, eyes looking straight into yours.

“Exactly” You replied with an innocent smile on your face before you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to look as intimidating as he did.

Although, in Donghyuk’s eyes, you only looked even cuter.

Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair before he turned around again to start heading to the parking lot “Alright, we’ll get some food before going home then” 

“You’re the b-”

“But you’re paying” He quickly interrupted, walking away even faster before you could start complaining about this newfound information.

---------------------------

”If you drop ketchup on my leather seats, you’re walking all the way back home” 

Donghyuk warned as he stopped the car in a deserted place, leaning back against his seat comfortably once he had turned off the ignition. You hummed quietly, letting him know you heard his threat while you also started taking his order out of the paper bag carefully, trying not to drop any food in his precious car. You were kind of far from home and knew he wouldn’t hesitate to make you walk all the way back.

“I won’t, I won’t” You replied with a small smile, breaking the paper bag to put it down on your lap in case some of the sauce of your hamburger dripped down and stained something while you ate it.

Just like it had happened in the cinema, a new silence settled down between the two of you now that you were too focused on eating your food, it wasn’t uncomfortable though, you just preferred eating in silence rather than arguing constantly. While you ate dinner, you noticed a few other cars had parked around his, keeping enough distance to not be able to see who the people inside the vehicle were but still making you frown with curiosity. It wasn’t until you took another look around the place that you finally recognized where Donghyuk had parked.

“Isn’t this the place where people come to make out?” 

Donghyuk choked on the fries he was eating. 

You hadn’t really done it intentionally, you didn’t even know he was eating when the question had suddenly flew out of your mouth. He kept coughing as you reached out to pat his back with one of your hands, holding your drink with the other to not drop it in the car and make the situation even worse than it already was.

“What kind of question is that (Y/N)? What the fuck?” He asked, voice hoarse as he cleared his throat, still feeling the food stuck in a place it shouldn’t be.

“Are you planning to make out with me?” You asked jokingly, wiggling your eyebrows at him. Maybe it was the lack of light but you thought you had seen a hint of a smile in Donghyuk’s face when you said that, however he was quick to turn his face away and look out of the window, avoiding any kind of eye contact.

“You’re nuts” He muttered, successfully hiding the amusement in his voice, doing it so well that it actually made a frown appear on your face.

You had been thinking about this for the entire night and even though you had tried to play his comments off as jokes, his dislike and rejection towards you was starting to be a little bothering. You hadn’t felt that bad during the date, you haven’t even felt as awkward as you usually did so the time you spent with him hadn’t been that bad. Did he dislike you so much that he couldn’t even bear the thought of making those kinds of jokes with you?

“What? Am I that ugly?” You were supposed to sound amused, your words had been a simple joke in response to what he had said but Donghyuk couldn’t ignore the soft sourness in them, the way you scoffed just told him he had said enough for tonight. “I guess I crossed a line there” You muttered with a sigh

“What are you talking about now?” He asked, turning around again to face you, this time with a frown on his face, a sincere one.

“I mean, I know you didn’t expect to go on a date with me and that our friends were only trying to prank us but you could at least try to hide your discontent a little bit” You confessed, eyes glued to the front glass even though you could feel him staring at you from the driver’s seat “Like I tried my best to be nice and all you did was shove me away, this didn’t need to be a date, we could have just tried to hang out as friends” 

Donghyuk knew he had fucked up big time as he listened to your rambling and his attitude had ended up hurting your feelings when he never had any intentions of doing that. He actually couldn’t help but feel bad because of it, staying quiet for a few minutes before he finally decided to say something.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was being that big of a jerk” He said quietly, looking down at his lap before he took the fries he hadn’t eaten yet “Want to eat my fries?” 

You didn’t know if he was either joking or being genuinely serious and honestly, you also didn’t know which was worse “I just want to know why you hate me so much” You scoffed tired of beating around the bush, ready to face the explanation you were finally craving for.

“You’re kidding me, right?” He huffed, suddenly looking offended “Like this has to be the ultimate prank of the night” Donghyuk actually turned around on his seat so he could face you with most of his body, eyes dead serious as if he was planning to stare straight into your soul “Why would you think I hate you (Y/N)?”

You blinked confused “Uhm...Do you want me to narrate with detail all the reasons you gave me tonight or….?”

“I don’t hate you” He said sighing, true that he might have been an absolute jerk but he had his reasons “I mean how did you expect me to behave right after you rejected me?” 

“What?” 

“Especially after how you did it” He kept rambling “I mean, maybe I expected a ‘I'm sorry you’re not my type?’ But not for you to throw the letter away without even giving it a second glance” 

“A letter?” You asked, your brain searching for any memories that would resemble something similar to what he was talking about. It only took you a few seconds before you remembered something, it had happened at the beginning of the year and you hadn't paid too much attention to it. During one of your classes, when you opened one of your books during a class, you had found a note but what was written in it had made you assume it was a joke. “Wait, are you talking about the note that said...I like your smile, I like your ass, you should date me, I’m a guy with class….Go out with me, you won’t forget, I’ll buy you food and spoil you to no end?” When Donghyuk stayed in silence as you recited the poem you had found, you guessed he must have been the author behind it. “i thought it was a joke Donghyuk”

“Well, the guys helped me write it and….” Now that he had listened to it from another’s person mouth the poem didn’t sound as good as his friends had made it sound “I-”

“I didn’t even know it was you” You said exasperated “Like Haechan? I’ve never heard somebody call you like that?” 

“My friends do?” 

“And I should know that because…..?”

Donghyuk had to admit his strategy to ask you out had completely sucked and he could now understood why you thought he had hated you, you didn’t even know you had rejected him in the first place “I’m not listening to the guys again” He muttered under a whisper “Not in my life” He added with a deep sigh

“Yeah, I think you should avoid doing that” You replied with a small smile, watching him drown in embarrassment as he leaned his head back against the seat to stare at the car’s ceiling “So all this time you just thought I rejected you?”

“Well, what was I supposed to think?” He asked hiding his face behind both of his hands, making sure you wouldn’t see the soft blush that was creeping up his neck, you couldn’t help but chuckle at that

“You guys are such huge idiots” You finally said, deciding to break the tension in between the two of you as you started laughing, really amused by the entire situation.

Donghyuk peeked at you through his fingers, feeling even more embarrassed but also kind of relief now that you didn’t seem to be as upset as you were before. He was still shy and felt like a complete idiot for everything but your happiness was just as contagious as ever and he found himself smiling behind his hands, shaking his head in embarrassment. 

“Please let me take you out on another date? I promise it will be way better, at least just to make up for this horrible hang out?” He asked mortified, groaning as he hit the back of his head against his seat again.

“You’re kidding me, right?” You asked back, repeating the same words he had used a few minutes ago.

“Was it that bad? Did you really hate it?” He removed his hands from his face to look at your face, he really did seem like he was regretting everything he had said tonight “I promise I won’t let the guys plan it again” 

“I’m kidding, I’ll go on another date with you” You said chuckling, watching him visibly relax “But next time…”

“Mhm?” 

“You’re paying for the food” Donghyuk allowed himself to finally smile at your words, shaking his head as he chuckled. He nodded at your condition, going back to eating his fries.

“And we’ll make out in here” His so unexpected words made you choke on the drink you had been sipping and the fact that you tried your hardest to not spit it out your mouth only made it worse because it ended up coming out of your nose and unfortunately, staining his leather seats. 

“(Y/N) WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU!?” He shouted alarmed, throwing napkins your way, making some of them land on your face.

“IF YOU HADN’T SAID ANYTHING I WOULDN’T HAVE SPILLED THAT THROUGH MY NOSE” You shouted back, breaking the calm and relaxed atmosphere of the place, unknowingly interrupting multiple make out sessions.

If someone would have told the couples around you that the two of you were on your first date, they would have surely replied ‘You’re kidding me, right? Those two hate each other’ but in fact, time would tell that the joke was actually on them and nothing, not even Donghyuk���s leather seats getting food stains, would tear the two of you apart.

[flames-tstuff]

Okay so, um, I hope you don’t mind me requesting something! ^.^ 💕 You always support me and I wanna support you too!

So, Uraraka and Ojiro. Fluff & Tickles. The idea is that Uraraka is stressed out and one way she copes is by coloring, and Bakugou or whoever sees her and teases her, then Ojiro defends her and says like, it’s fine to be a kid sometimes, bc they’ve grown up pretty fast. And so like, the next day they go to a park and swing, he gets her ice cream, then they go back to the dorm and color while watching cartoons, and then a tickle scene happens on the cartoon, and then it leads to him tickling her and hugs and cuddles and friendship. Aaaaa 🙈

To Be a Kid Again (BNHA)

Ojiro wants to show Uraraka that it’s okay to be a kid again sometimes.

Pairings: Platonic Uraraka and Ojiro

Warnings: Bakugou being a jerk, some light angst

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: Omg this is such a cute pairing!! I've never even considered them together, either as friends or as partners. What would their ship name be? Ojiraka? Also, I've never written for either of them, so I hope this is okay!

Uraraka was tired. It had been a long day at school, and despite the fact that it was only Wednesday, she was more than ready for the weekend.

After changing out of her uniform and grabbing a couple items from her room, Uraraka flopped down onto one of the couches of the commons with a heavy sigh. She really didn’t have anything to do now that classes were over for the day. She’d already finished her homework and dinner wasn’t for another or hour or so. Despite how exhausted she was, she had just enough energy left to do one of her favorite activities to pass the time: coloring.

She didn’t know why exactly, but something about sitting down and letting herself get lost in the mindlessness of coloring had always been soothing to her. So there she was, sitting on the couch crisscross, using her knee as a table and getting to work. After a few minutes, the brain fog that had been plaguing Uraraka the last couple of hours began to disappear, and her mind was back as ease.

That was, until Bakugou came into the room. Looking just as tired and grumpy as she felt, Bakugou was about to head up to his room when Uraraka accidentally caught his eye.

“What are you looking at, Round Face?”

She quickly looked back down at her lap in alarm. “N-Nothing. Sorry.”

Bakugou continued to glare her way when he noticed the book in her lap and the pile of markers next to her. He came a few feet closer, eyeing it suspiciously.

“Tch. What are you, five years old?”

“Wh… what do you mean?”

At this time, Ojiro had just entered the commons and was just about to step into the elevator when the other students’ conversation caught his attention.

“Coloring books? Seriously? That shit’s for babies.”

Uraraka felt her cheeks start to burn.

“Hey, hey!” Ojiro jogged over to see what the commotion was about. Bakugou tended to pick fights pretty easily. “What’s going on here?”

Bakugou just crossed his arms and scowled at him.

Ojiro looked down at Uraraka, whose ears and cheeks were painted red. He then noticed the art supplies surrounding her. “Is he giving you a hard time?”

Uraraka just looked back and forth between the two of them, not daring to say anything.

“I heard you say something was ‘for babies,’” Ojiro turned to Bakugou with a stern look on his face. “You weren’t talking about coloring, were you?”

Again, silence.

“It’s really not, you know. People draw and color all the time! Besides, even if it was, what’s wrong with that? Everyone should be allowed to do things they enjoy, especially something as harmless as coloring. I don’t see what the problem is.”

“The problem is that we’re trying to be heroes!” Bakugou shot back. “Heroes shouldn’t be doing childish shit like that! If you really wanted to be a hero you’d be out training!”

Ojiro sighed, a little exasperated. “Of course training is important. But rest is important too. Doing things you love is important. If you don’t take the time to be a kid and let loose a little, you’re going to burn out. No pun intended, in your case, Bakugou.” Ojiro smiled, a little teasingly.

“Ugh, whatever,” Bakugou relented and headed back towards the elevator. “Whatever it’ll take for you to shut up and stop lecturing me.”

Uraraka and Ojiro both snickered at that, and in a few moments, it was just the two of them.

“Sorry about that,” Ojiro said apologetically. “Bakugou can be a real pain sometimes.”

“No kidding,” she agreed. “Um… thanks. You really didn’t have to do that. I’m sure I would’ve been okay on my own.”

“Of course you would have! But what are friends for?” Ojiro smiled brightly, holding out his hand. Uraraka smiled back and accepted the hand up. “You hungry? I think it’s about time for dinner.”

~~~

The next day was just as hard, though Uraraka did feel a little better after a good night’s sleep.

After dinner the previous night, Ojiro had asked if she’d want to hang out the next day after classes, in attempt to keep tabs on her since her fight with Bakugou. She assured him she was fine, but he insisted that it was his treat, so she obliged.

“So where are we going?” Uraraka asked walking next to Ojiro on the sidewalk.

“I’m taking you to one of my favorite places.” The two entered a chain link-fenced area.

“…a playground?”

“Yep! This was one of my favorite places in the world as a kid, and it still is. Come on! Let’s swing!”

And before she could argue, Ojiro grabbed her hand and tugged her along towards the swing set. Thankfully there wasn’t anyone else around, so they had the place to themselves.

“So,” Uraraka started, swinging her legs a little. “Why are we doing this exactly? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out! But where is this coming from?”

Ojiro laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, a little sheepish. “I was thinking, well… I wanted to show you that’s it’s okay to be a kid. To let loose a little. You seemed like you needed it, especially after what happened yesterday.”

Uraraka’s heart warmed at that. She really couldn’t ask for better classmates as friends.

Ojiro’s expression dropped to something a little more serious. “I’ve realized that we’ve all had to grow up so fast in these last few years. It makes me kind of sad.”

“Why is that?” Uraraka questioned.

“Don’t you miss this kind of stuff?” He gestured to the rest of the play set. “As much as I hate it, I think you and I both know there’s some truth to what Bakugou said yesterday. Heroes are supposed to be constantly training, constantly trying to grow and improve their skills. All that’s great, but it leaves no room to be what we actually are… teens. Kids. Don’t you ever feel like you grew up too fast?”

Uraraka couldn’t help but think about her parents. How, as just a little girl, barely old enough to go to school, she committed to helping them make money in any way she could. All the experiences she’d missed out on when she was younger due to her family’s financial situation. “Yeah… I guess I do.”

Ojiro offered a sympathetic smile. “That’s why it’s times like these, in the little spare moments we have to ourselves, that we can take the time to indulge that inner child.”

Uraraka took a moment to digest his words. “I think I understand now.” Then, in a small, hopeful voice: “Maybe... a-after we’re done here, we could... um... get some ice cream?”

Ojiro grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.” He hopped off his swing. “Race ya!”

“Hey, no fair!” Uraraka laughed and chased after him.

~~~

After getting their ice cream—strawberry for Uraraka and vanilla for Ojiro—the two friends happily walked back to the dorms together.

“By the way,” Ojiro said, “I never got the chance to tell you, but I saw your coloring book, and well… it looks really good!”

“Oh!” Uraraka looked down, a little embarrassed. “Hah, thanks…”

He could tell she did believe him. “I’m being serious! I think it’s really cool that you’re into that kind of stuff. Have you always liked coloring? You seem to be good at it.”

“Yeah, but I really can’t take much credit. I mean, it’s just filling in the shapes. It’s not like I drew it,” she reasoned, licking her ice cream.

“Hey, I can hardly stay in the lines, so it’s impressive to me.”

Uraraka laughed, knowing he was probably just saying that to make her feel good, but she appreciated it nonetheless.

“Thank you,” she said, speaking as sincere as possible. They had made it back to the common area of the dorms where they stood, waiting to depart to their own rooms. “For everything.”

Ojiro realized she thought he had brought her back here to say goodbye. “Hey, if you want, you can hang in my room.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! We could watch TV, or if you have homework to work on, I won’t bother you.”

She smiled. “I’d love that. Thanks again, Ojiro, you’re the best.” She threw her arms around him in a tight hug. Ojiro was a little taken aback, but quickly returned the gesture.

The two friends sat comfortably on his bed with their backs against the wall. The TV droned on in the background, mostly forgotten, as they chatted about school and their weekend plans.

Once the conversation died out, they settled down to watch what was playing on the screen, falling into comfortable silence. One of the characters poked the other, making them jump back and laugh. Ojiro smiled at the scene and stole a quick glance at Uraraka to see how she was doing, just in time to see her blush a little at the sight. It was so brief, if he hadn’t looked at just the right moment he would’ve missed it.

Suddenly feeling mischievous, Ojiro darted his hands to Uraraka’s sides and began squeezing, making her squeal and fall back on the bed in a fit of happy giggles.

“Ohohjiroho! Eeeep! Whaha—Why? Hahaha!”

“Because! I wanna hear you laugh! Didn’t I tell you to start letting loose?”

Uraraka was too weak and giddy to respond or do much more than weakly bat his hands in a half-hearted attempt.

Ojiro made the mistake of coming closer to get better purchase on her ribs, and Uraraka pushed through the tickly feeling just enough to be able to reach a hand up and scratch at the base of his spine, making him yelp and jerk away. This gave Uraraka just enough time to gain the upper hand by pushing him down and straddling his waist with her knees.

“Uraraka, wa-HAHAHAIT!” he burst into loud belly laughter as she began kneading up and down his torso the same way he had done to her.

“Maybe you should start taking your own advice, Ojiro!” she laughed with him. “Come on, you shouldn’t be afraid of being a kid again, right? Tickle tickle!”

This made his cheeks turn bright red and his laugh go a few pitches higher.

Uraraka was feeling all-powerful with Ojiro now at her mercy. That was, until she felt a soft, feathery feeling against her neck and under her chin, making her flinch and snort.

“Ohohoh my gohohosh, you snohorted!” Ojrio teased through his own laughter.

“N-no fahahair!” Uraraka stammered out as best she could. “You shohouldn’t be allowed t-to use your tahahail!”

“Wehehell too bahad! I’m using it!”

The two stayed like that, trying to out-tickle each other—Uraraka going at his ribs and belly, and Ojiro trying his best to throw her off using his tail to brush all over her neck and sides, both laughing hysterically. Eventually Uraraka was weakened just enough for Ojiro to get her back one last time before they both collapsed in exhaustion.

“Jeez, you don’t give up easy, do you?” Uraraka panted, a big smile still on her face.

“No,” Ojiro agreed. “But you held out pretty long too, I’m impressed.”

After finally catching their breath, Uraraka opened her arms in offering. “Cuddles?”

Ojiro couldn’t have refused the offer if he tried. “Heh. Yeah, cuddles.”

He scooted closer and wrapped his arms around her torso, leaning his head into her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him in return, resting her head atop his.

And there they stayed for the rest of the evening.

[edenmemes]

cyberpunk 2077 starters

more to be added !

❝  the wider the smile, the bigger the lie.  ❞ ❝  it’s called a reputation. you should try having one.  ❞ ❝  if only you were the one calling the shots, you would already have the city at your feet.  ❞ ❝  seems like you’ve got a real problem with authority.  ❞ ❝  well, then it’s a good thing i’m on your side then, huh?  ❞ ❝  you’re starting to remind me of me.  ❞ ❝  only people who know me real well can use my real name.  ❞ ❝  hope that’s it for last requests. not sure i can handle more.  ❞    ❝  look at me - see this? this is a look of un-fucking-surprise on my face.  ❞ ❝  actually, i don’t think of you at all. ever.  ❞ ❝  wanna part ways on good terms. as friends.  ❞ ❝  listen, i know i fucked up a lot of things. either let down or used every last person who gave me their trust.  ❞ ❝  been a rough year...and to make things worse, i fell in love.  ❞ ❝  funny how you still manage to surprise me sometimes.  ❞ ❝  haven’t managed to get my head straight yet, not after everything that happened.  ❞ ❝  hey, look at me. right in the eyes. choose your next words carefully. might be the last choice you ever make.  ❞ ❝  i’m a master of cuddling, too - got a black belt, multiple disciplines.  ❞ ❝  tsh...gonna miss you something awful.  ❞ ❝  here come the test results: you are a horrible person.  ❞ ❝  there is a saying in your country… one moment, it will come to me…ah now i remember! go fuck yourself.  ❞ ❝  you need anything, i’m here.  ❞ ❝  wanna see me give up? sounds like something you’d do.  ❞ ❝  i’m sorry, do you hear me poking around your personal business? digging through your past?  ❞ ❝  what you did for me, i’ll never forget it.  ❞ ❝  it’s hard to believe, but it looks like everything’s gonna be alright.  ❞ ❝  you ain’t dying yet. i got you.  ❞ ❝  see ya in the next life, friend.  ❞ ❝  i allowed my temper to flare and for that i apologize. even i can get carried away at times.  ❞ ❝  shame. was starting to like you…  ❞ ❝  i’m just glad your mother didn’t live to see this. the heart should break but once.  ❞ ❝  there are not many like you, but without you the world would have long turned into shadows and dust.  ❞ ❝  you put a barrel to my skull not so long ago.  ❞ ❝  there’s a difference between being an idiot and believing people wanna do good.  ❞ ❝  you plot, you plan, you calculate, and weave webs so tangled you sometimes lose yourself in them.  ❞ ❝  i’m a serious man. and serious matters are what, if not all, that concern me.  ❞ ❝  you’re tough as nails. a warrior without mercy.  ❞ ❝  i’ve managed one thing for now. not to fuck this up... what we have.  ❞ ❝  you got a short fuse, sure, but there ain’t no dynamite in that soul.  ❞ ❝  really think i can make it? survive this?  ❞ ❝  if there’s nothing you can do to help me, then…what the hell do i do?  ❞ ❝  i’ll kill anyone who gets in my way. you included.  ❞ ❝  if they find us, they won’t bother with arresting and interrogating, do you understand?  ❞ ❝  everyone admires you, but you know that your only reward will be the next task you’re given.  ❞ ❝  just don’t fall in love with me…  ❞ ❝  promise you’ll try to get some sleep?  ❞ ❝  it often seems that you’re on your own, but always remember you have a team you can count on.  ❞ ❝  whatever you’re planning, make sure you see it through to the end.  ❞ ❝  it can get tough when it feels like there’s no end to it in sight.  ❞ ❝  i don’t need this world anymore, but i need you.  ❞ ❝  it doesn’t matter how well you do something, as long as you look good doing it.  ❞ ❝  i always felt like my mission was to cross the ultimate frontier. that frontier is death.  ❞ ❝  something in me died back then. i just couldn’t handle it.  ❞ ❝  would you take a bullet for me?  ❞ ❝  what, a little guilt creeps in and that’s that? you give up?  ❞ ❝  it’s an awful place...it is no wonder you are losing your mind.  ❞ ❝  i realize you’re there, always were, and a wave of relief washes over me.  ❞ ❝  remember when you were asked: quiet life or blaze of glory? shame you chose wrong.  ❞ ❝  ooooooooh, i get what’s going on here. you’re jealous.  ❞ ❝  think dangerous; be dangerous. think weak; be weak.  ❞ ❝  it’s true what they say. you’re good. really fucking good. got a stick up your ass, through.  ❞ ❝  hah. my mind. that’s…that’s a touchy subject.  ❞ ❝  y’know, they say time is the best teacher. i used to think that was true.  ❞ ❝  you know what, sweetheart? we’ll have plenty of time to tear at each other’s throats later.  ❞ ❝  i have to sit and think…about everything.  ❞ ❝  no really, it’s ok. it just scraped me.  ❞ ❝  a peaceful death in this town? guy won the jackpot.  ❞ ❝  sorry you had to witness that. things just get complicated sometimes.  ❞ ❝  who you work for? start talking!  ❞ ❝  well, well….looks like fortune favors the stupid, too.  ❞ ❝  day’s not over yet. you still have a chance to piss me off.  ❞ ❝  what’s free comes most costly.  ❞ ❝  sometimes two people find themselves at the wrong place at the right time.  ❞ ❝  i’m in this city, free to do whatever i want with my life, but…am i really free?  ❞ ❝  i sense anything going wrong, i’m out.  ❞ ❝  drop by if you ever want to talk. or if you don’t we can just sit together in silence. either way, i’m here for you.  ❞ ❝  i’m nobody, i’m a zero.  ❞ ❝  you know, i still got that contract to kill you.  ❞ ❝  have you known love? do you know what it is?  ❞  ❝  talked in your sleep, you know.  ❞ ❝  tsomeone…someone should give you a checkup, see if you’re ok. someone you trust.  ❞ ❝  goodbye, and please - stay away. you’ve done enough already.  ❞ ❝  one thing we can’t do is be afraid of others.  ❞ ❝  that the pick-up line you settled on?  ❞ ❝  right…so, gonna stop by? or gonna make me grovel?  ❞ ❝  i’ve missed you, you know, heh…  ❞ ❝  it seems all good, like nothing bad ever happened.  ❞ ❝  i…i was angry…i must’ve lost control.  ❞ ❝  if you wanna change the world, there’s always a price to be paid.  ❞ ❝  you ever wake up in the middle of the night…and not know who you were for a second…? you ever feel like you weren’t really ‘you’?  ❞ ❝  here i feared you’d forgotten about me.  ❞ ❝  all right. you know why we’re here, don’t you? say you do.  ❞ ❝  you don’t realize it, but…you’ve given me something beautiful.  ❞ ❝  i’m really starting to feel like your puppet.  ❞ ❝  if you wanted my attention, you just earned it.  ❞ ❝  the stronger survive. you’re either somebody or you fizzle out into nothing.  ❞ ❝  now answer my question. honestly. forthrightly. are you here alone?  ❞ ❝  my whole life’s a fucking cosmic joke.  ❞ ❝  i know that it might seem like you’re trying to help, but i’d rather that you just left us alone…otherwise things won’t end well.  ❞ ❝  so you can be nice when you feel like it.  ❞ ❝  it’s always good to have the strength of others to support you too.  ❞  ❝  you’re worth more than you think. trust me.  ❞ ❝  talked in your sleep, you know.  ❞ ❝  well, i slept like a puppy. that’s a crazy shoulder you have there.  ❞ ❝  is that a quiver in your voice i hear?  ❞ ❝  what makes someone a criminal? getting caught.  ❞ ❝  the only limit to what you can do is what you’re willing to do.  ❞ ❝  you only have to look at you. a venomous spider wearing the mask of a nice lady. but i will not be fooled.  ❞ ❝  ugh, trust issues, again? thought we’d talked it all out.  ❞ ❝  what the fuck is going on? i feel like i’m not in control of anything anymore…  ❞ ❝  sorry, but, i’d rather be alone right now.  ❞ ❝  remember, a while back, you told me to give you a solid kick in the pants if i saw you diving into the stupid pool again?  ❞ ❝  sit your ass down a minute, honey, and breathe.  ❞ ❝  lately i feel like i’ve been ranting and raging, so i just want to make sure you know i appreciate what you did for me.  ❞ ❝  i’ll just lie here a while, by your side, gazing at the stars.  ❞ ❝  when the time comes, it will be my life for yours.  ❞ ❝  how did we grow so far apart?  ❞ ❝  no more mayhem, no more shady-ass schemes. done with that.  ❞ ❝  say it. say it out loud. not for me, but for yourself.  ❞ ❝  a pathetic attempt to get under my skin.  ❞ ❝  i loathe it - this whole ‘playing tough in the face of death’ thing.  ❞ ❝  the road to the stars is always paved with darkness.  ❞ ❝  wait up! don’t do this. you can still change your mind.  ❞ ❝  dammit, no matter how hard i try, i can’t forget you...  ❞ ❝  plenty of others out there’re more deservin’ of life. but even so... i’d never wish you dead.  ❞ ❝  truth is everything’s going off the rails. i feel worse and worse.  ❞ ❝  i’m nowhere near as tough as you and i can’t pretend to be anymore.  ❞ ❝  you don’t seriously think i’ll just up and leave you? i’m with you - through thick and thin.  ❞ ❝  i’d say i’m happy to see you, but it’s not good to lie.  ❞ ❝  i’ll get us through this, you’ll see.  ❞ ❝  i’m just happy, like, dumb happy, you know? you’re really amazing.  ❞ ❝  you’re playing with fire. don’t dare cross the line.  ❞ ❝  i’m afraid things won’t be the same between us if i tell you the whole truth.  ❞ ❝  do you even know what i had to sacrifice to get where i am? the price i paid?  ❞ ❝  your first time here, isn’t it? want some advice? go the fuck away.  ❞ ❝  when someone tells me to not worry, they’re usually hiding something.  ❞ ❝  it’s not easy talking about what’s biting me at the ass.  ❞ ❝  just promise me one thing: don’t forget me.  ❞ ❝  legends - know where you’ll find most of them? the graveyard.  ❞ ❝  ah, you try to provoke me. is this wise, you think?  ❞ ❝  i can lead others away from the darkness.  ❞ ❝  the more i say everything’s okay, the more i feel like i’m straight up lying.  ❞ ❝   you need to take a few deep breaths. then rethink all this, hard..  ❞ ❝  you can call me back. do you know why? because i am here for you.  ❞ ❝  why’d you wanna meet me here? for the view, or you turning sentimental on me?  ❞ ❝  know what? think i figured you out.  ❞ ❝  if not for you...i’d be long dead. several times over.  ❞ ❝  you’re adorable. didn’t realize you still had a child-like imagination...and intelligence.  ❞ ❝  death walks in your wake.  ❞ ❝  just trying to live with it. survive, actually.  ❞ ❝  the world doesn’t forgive. it eats people alive. but you - well, you survived.  ❞ ❝  everyone i’ve met so far says i’m far too gone.  ❞ ❝  hey, come on, you’re not the one at blame here.  ❞ ❝  don’t make the same mistake i made. say goodbye to the people you love.  ❞  ❝  well, aren’t you just bursting with a can-do attitude?  ❞

[sleepysnk]

have fun ;)

Team Player: Chapter Nine

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: suggestive content

Word Count: 3.6k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

Eren sat next to (Y/N) in the class they shared together. It was an early morning and the two both felt exhausted. The two planned overnight on what they were going to practice at the field, Eren had access since he was an athlete, but the two had to be quick. Campus security was strict on any students out past curfew. 

"So what time again?" Eren asked, looking over at her. 

Her eyes averted towards his. "I have class until 7, so I can go right after." she replied.

He nodded. "Sounds good.. come by my dorm and I'll give you a ball and we can practice," he said, a small smile growing on his face as his mind flashed images of the two playing catch. 

"Ugh! What if I suck? I guarantee I can barely throw a football," she said, rolling her eyes. 

He put his hand on her shoulder. "You got this! I believe in you (Y/N),"

Her cheeks grew hot from his touch and his words. Eren had an odd way of making her feel flustered. 

"I'll try my best to believe that.." she mumbled before looking up at the front of the class where Professor Ackerman stood. 

"Good morning.. today is going to be a pretty short lesson. I'll be releasing you all early today, so I hope you cooperate for this to go smoothly." he said, eyes roaming among the students. 

(Y/N) sighed, taking out her laptop to take notes. Eren did the same, he watched as she chewed her lip. For some reason, he always liked when she bit her lip, it was something he found.. attractive? 

"Eren." 

His eyes looked towards the front of the class where Professor Ackerman was staring at him. 

"U-Uh.. yes?" he asked, nodding his head. 

The stoic man sighed. "I get you think (Y/N) is cute, but please pay attention." he replied, turning back towards the board. 

Eren's face grew pink as he felt many eyes staring at him, (Y/N)'s being one of them. 

"Yeah Eren.." she whispered, giggling a bit at his cuteness. 

He rolled his eyes before elbowing her side, causing a small yelp to escape her lips. She glared at him and returned back to her notes, a wide grin appearing on his features. He just loved messing with her. 

Eren ended up zoning out while taking notes. His mind wandered to other things like football, sleep, (Y/N), wait what?

"Eren!" 

He turned his head to meet her gaze, she was putting her stuff away. "Class is over, come on," she said, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

He blinked for a moment before putting his stuff into his bag. 30 minutes really flashed like that? 

"I barely paid attention to what he was saying.." Eren said, rubbing his tired eyes. 

She exited the classroom with him by her side. "Trust me.. I don't understand Ackerman much either. Sasha had him and almost failed his class," she replied, nudging his arm a bit. 

A smile grew onto his lips. "Yeah I guess he is…" he said, turning his head to look at her. 

There was that stare again.

His eyes wandered to the small features of her face, (Y/N) was so pretty to him. 

"Do you wanna head to your dorm? You know.. to pick up the football?" she asked, breaking his thoughts. 

"Y-Yeah! Let's go," he replied, heading towards the exit of the campus building. 

She followed him to his residence hall. Eren was walking pretty quickly, curse him and his long legs. (Y/N) slowly caught up, grabbing his arm in the process. 

"Slow down! I almost lost you there," she said, trying to catch her breath. 

Pink dusted onto his cheeks. "My bad! I'll slow down.." he muttered before opening the door to his building.

She rolled her eyes before following him down the hall to his dorm, she had only been to his dorm about once. The one time she helped him clean it. She silently prayed she wasn't this gross guy who just dirtied his room after cleaning it, that would for sure disappoint her. 

He opened it and ushered her inside, her eyes scanned the room. He still kept it neat, surprisingly.

"I should have one around here somewhere," Eren said, opening his drawer. He dug around the dresser for a moment before pulling out the football. "Here ya go!"

He tossed it to her, she caught it and eyed the ball. She hadn't touched one in a pretty long time. 

"So 7:30 right?" she said, looking at him. 

He smiled, "Yeah for sure! I'll text you when I'm on my way," he replied. 

She nodded, "Sounds good! I'll see you then. I gotta head to my next class.. so uh, I'll text you!" she said before heading towards the door. 

He waved, "See you later!" 

She made her way out of his dorm. Eren smiled to himself, (Y/N) was such a cute idiot. He couldn't get over it, the way she eyed the football made him happy, she looked so cute. 

Maybe tonight would go well… maybe, just maybe, Eren could see her as more than a friend. 

-

Eren was awoken in his dorm by his phone going off. He wasn't sure what time it was, but it was dark out. He could faintly see the lights from the campus shining into his room, lighting up the walls.

A groan escaped his mouth as he grabbed his phone, Jean was calling him for some reason. 

"Hello?" Eren said, his voice deep and groggy from sleep. 

"Finally! Dude I've called you like four times! Were you sleeping?" Jean asked over the phone. 

He rubbed his tired eyes, "Yeah I was.. what do you want though? Where are you?" he asked. He could faintly hear some background noise.

"I'm at Connie's frat right now! You should come by! This party is getting pretty lit, plus you have been laying low on partying anyway," Jean replied. 

Eren looked at the time on his phone, it read 7:00. 

He contemplated for a moment, would going out partying even be worth it? He had been kind of low on the party scene lately, it may help him feel a bit better. 

"Fine… I'll be there in 10," he replied, sitting up on his bed. 

"Sick! I'll see you then!" Jean replied before hanging up the phone with a click. 

Eren sighed, he stood up and turned on the light to his room. He put on a black zip up hoodie and some grey sweatpants, he wasn't exactly looking to impress and do much. Maybe a few shots and that's all? Plus it was a Wednesday night. 

As Eren exited his dorm, he couldn't help but feel like he was forgetting something. Did he have assignments? No. Practice? No. He wasn't exactly sure what was missing, he just shrugged it off and made his way to the frat house. 

Little did he know… he was forgetting something.

-

Eren downed his third shot that night, the burning of the alcohol went down his throat and to his stomach. He placed the glass onto the table, leaning back against the cushions of the couch. 

"You want another?" Connie asked, holding the bottle towards him. 

Eren shook his head, "Nah.. I'm good."

He felt a weight next to him, Jean was sitting next to him now. His face was lightly pink from the alcohol he consumed earlier, Jean was such a lightweight drunk. 

"So Jaeger when are you even coming back on the team? You've been benched for weeks," he asked, looking at him.

Eren sighed, "I dunno.. maybe if coach actually listened to me." he replied with a shrug. 

Jean slung his arm around his shoulder, "You got this! I think you'll be back soon," he slurred. 

Eren pushed Jean off of him, "You smell like beer dude, go somewhere else." 

He furrowed his brows, "Shut it! You seem grumpy.. did (Y/N) stop letting you hit or something?" Jean asked, crossing his arms. 

Eren's eyes grew wide at Jean's words.

Shit!

"Oh shit.. fuck! (Y/N)!" Eren yelled.

"Huh? Is everything okay Eren?" Connie asked, looking at him with furrowed brows.

He fumbled for his phone, the time read 8:20. It all hit him at once. Eren was supposed to be at the field practicing with her, it totally slipped his mind! He also noticed the missed texts and phone calls he had from her. 

(Y/N): 9 missed calls

7:02 <-(Y/N): hey i'm done with class!

7:10 <-(Y/N): uh hello? did you fall asleep?

7:19 <-(Y/N): Eren??? dude i'm at the field

7:21 <-(Y/N): dude seriously, where are you?

7:32 <-(Y/N): Eren, i'm not playing anymore. where are you??? you were supposed to be here.

7:41 <-(Y/N): wtf dude?? are you seriously ditching me?? this isn't funny Eren.

7:49 <-(Y/N): i'm giving you 15 more minutes if you're not gonna show up, i'm leaving.

8:01<-(Y/N): okay cool. ignore me, thanks for being an asshole. i thought you were cool but i guess people never change huh? don't even bother coming.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"I gotta go, see you guys later." Eren said before rushing up the stairs out of the basement. 

Eren rushed out of the frat house, he pushed past a few people and got outside. The wind picked up as he rushed towards the campus, he couldn't go to sleep tonight knowing that he forgot. He felt so guilty, that was fucked up for him to do. 

In the distance storm clouds brewed, lightning flared in the sky lighting up the darkening clouds. Thunder boomed in the horizon as the wind began to blow around the fall leaves. 

Just what I need, a fucking storm Eren thought as he rushed to the practice fields. 

The bright lights were still on, unfortunately Eren didn't see (Y/N). He looked around the field, maybe she was in her car? 

Eren fished for his phone to call her. "Come on pick up.." he groaned, looking around the empty field. The wind blowing in his hair. 

"So.. you finally decided to show up."

He turned to see (Y/N) leaning against the small bench, her arms crossed. 

"(Y/N)! I-I'm.. I didn't mean-"

"Just save it. I don't wanna hear your excuses," she cut him off. 

Eren tried coming towards her, "I'm sorry! I didn't get your texts and everything slipped my mind!" 

She rolled her eyes, "You left me here for an hour! I genuinely thought you were a nice guy.. but I guess some people never change. Just do this all yourself." she replied, tossing the football at him. 

He watched as she began to walk away, the storm in the distance beginning to get closer. He ran towards her, grabbing her forearm. 

"(Y/N).. please don't go, there is a storm right now and I don't want you walking by yourself." he said, looking at her with concern in his eyes. 

She tried pulling away from him, "Eren just go! You clearly don't give a shit, just go back to your stupid party. I could care less.." she mumbled. 

The crash of the thunder made him look up at the sky, "(Y/N)! I'm being serious! We need to go inside, just come with me okay!?" he yelled. 

She scoffed, "Just fuck off dude! Let me go back to my dorm!" she argued back. 

Eren was beginning to get frustrated with her, "I already explained! I get what I did wasn't cool! Just stop fucking around and let's go! The dorms are so far and you'll be walking in the rain, just come with me already!" he replied. 

Droplets of water began to fall from the sky, darkening the material of Eren's clothes. Lightning flashed along the sky and thunder followed soon after, booming and rumbling making the ground slightly shake. 

"No! Just let me go back by myself, I don't need your fucking help. You're such an ass! I wish I never helped you, God, I was so dumb to even think you changed!" she yelled as the rain pelted down on them. 

He stayed silent, the rain hitting his head and making his hair wet. It soon began to fall at a quicker pace. 

"I'm leaving.." she mumbled before starting to turn away. 

Suddenly, Eren grabbed her arm and put his hand behind her head, pulling her into a kiss. At first she didn't move, then her lips suddenly began to move against his. Her arms went to his neck. 

The rain fell onto them, soaking their clothes and making the ground below them wet. The kiss they shared was raw, passionate, and it broke the tension they've been having for the past two weeks. 

"Just shut up (Y/N).." he said before pressing his lips back onto hers. 

His arms snaked around her waist, bringing her closer to his skin. She shivered a bit as the wind blew against her wet flesh. 

"E-Eren.." she said, breaking the kiss between them. Her lips puffy. 

He looked up at the sky, "Let's go.. we're gonna get sick," he said. 

He took her hand into his, her cheeks growing hot as he guided her through the wet field and towards the locker rooms. Eren had snuck a key and he always kept it on him just in case he ever needed a way back into school, he silently hoped (Y/N) wouldn't tell anyone. 

He slid the key inside of the lock and turned it a few times, he felt the click of the lock and pulled the door open so she could step inside the locker room. Nobody would be around at this hour so nobody would catch them.

(Y/N) shivered entering the locker room, both of their clothes were soaking wet; the cooler air made goosebumps form onto Eren's skin. 

"Just sit right here," Eren said, pointing at a spot in front of his locker. 

(Y/N) plopped down, the sound of her wet leggings hitting the surface of the bench. Her hair was soaking, so was her outfit, she had no idea how she was going to explain this to Sasha. 

Eren walked into the showers, his eyes scanning for the towels they kept for the players. He opened the door to the closet and grabbed two of the white ones, he hoped nobody would notice they were missing since his coach kept count of all that shit. 

The squelching of Eren's shoes made (Y/N) look up, he tossed her the towel before sitting down next to her. 

"I'm sorry again.. if you don't want to help anymore, you don't have to." he said, looking at her. 

She rubbed the material along her face and through her hair. A sigh escaping her lips before she spoke, "I'm not gonna stop helping you.. that's not who I am, but I wish I got some kind of heads up." 

Eren nodded, wiping some water off his face. "That's my fault and I'm sorry for that," he replied. 

She looked at the ground. "You're forgiven.. but Eren," she said, looking at him. 

His eyes averted towards her, his head nodding to the side. "Hm?" he asked.

She chewed the inside of her cheek. "Why did you kiss me?"

Eren let out air through his nose, he leaned against the lockers behind him. His back pressing against a lock, why did he kiss her? Was it just the heat of the moment? Did he want to release the tension they had? 

He clicked his tongue, "Being honest.. I don't know. I guess in a way.. I like you, I hate to admit it but I do," he said. 

Her eyes widened a little, Eren Jaeger liked her? She wasn't exactly upset.. she felt the same way and it was blatantly obvious at that point since she did lean into the kiss and she could feel the tension between them the last few weeks. 

"E-Eren.." she whispered. 

He looked at her, "What? I know you don't like me back," he mumbled.

She stuck out her hand to touch his face which was now dry, her fingers ran along his skin. "I do like you.." 

He froze for a second, she was never one to tell a lie and by the way she spoke he could tell she was being truthful with him. 

He turned his body to face her, their knees were now touching and tingles came from the touch. Eren's hand found its way to her cheek, he used the pad of his thumb to wipe away a few stray rain drops that laid on her skin. 

Their faces leaned into one another, their lips connecting into a kiss. 

Her hands found their way into Eren's damp brunette locks, pulling him down closer to her. Eren's hand found its way to her waist where he squeezed the flesh, some of the material of her shirt was damp and it made his hands wet. 

"I want you.." Eren whispered, his breath uneven. 

She looked into his eyes. "I want you more.." 

His hands went towards her thighs, his fingers rubbing circles on the skin; it made her jolt a bit. 

"You like that huh..?" he asked with a smirk forming on his features. 

She playfully smacked his arm. "Oh shut up," she replied, her eyes rolling. 

He smirked before moving his head to her neck, he pressed his lips against her skin; his lips were hot, almost feverish. They attacked her neck making her skin feel warm. 

A soft moan escaped her mouth feeling his tongue glide against her sweet spot, he was about to bite down when a buzzing broke him out of his thoughts. 

(Y/N) slightly groaned when she reached in her pocket for her phone. Eren leaned away and furrowed his brows, pondering as to who could be calling right now. 

"Hello?" she said, chewing her bottom lip. 

"(Y/N)!? Hello!? Dude I've been texting you for an hour! Where are you? It's storming like crazy outside and I knew you were out with Eren, is everything okay?" 

She instantly knew it was Sasha. 

She sighed, "Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine Sasha. Eren took me to his dorm, we actually got rained on. I'll be back soon," she replied, her eyes wandering towards Eren who seemed unfazed. 

She could hear Sasha chewing on food. "Okay! Have fun! I'll see you soon," she said. 

(Y/N) hung up and placed her phone down next to her leg. "Sorry about that," she said, rubbing the back of her neck. 

Eren chuckled, "You're fine.. I think we should get back anyway, I don't want the janitor to come and find us here," he replied before standing up. 

He held out his hand for her and she took it with a smile on her face, she shivered a bit since her clothes were still somewhat wet from being outside in the rain. Eren took notice of this and went to his locker.

"Hold on a sec," he said, making (Y/N) stop in her tracks. 

She nodded as she watched him unlock his locker, he grabbed what seemed to be a hoodie. It had the University colors on it. He slammed his locker before locking it up and turning towards her. 

"You should take this.. it's really cold and I don't want you getting sick," he said, holding out the fabric for her. 

Her cheeks grew hot, but she just took the sweater from him. "Thank you.." she said, holding it close to her chest. 

He smiled, "Of course! Now let me take you back to the dorms, it's the least I can do." 

She smiled before following Eren out of the locker room. 

-

The long walk back to (Y/N)'s dorm was quite fun, the two had encountered a few professors along the way and they had to hide in bathrooms to make sure they wouldn't get caught. 

It was something (Y/N) wasn't used to, she was always staying out of trouble and she was seen as a good girl most of the time. Eren found that to be quite amusing, regarding the circumstances anyway. 

He leaned against the wall that was next to her dorm door. "So uh.. tonight was something," he said, chuckling a bit.

(Y/N) giggled, "It definitely was.. but I had a lot of fun. Even if I'm freezing right now," she replied. 

Eren looked at her, "I- uh.. I hope you know I meant what I said about liking you.. I really do and I want to be more than just a friend to you," he said, his cheeks slightly pink. 

She looked at the ground before looking back up at Eren. "I meant what I said too.. I do like you, Eren."

"I mean.. by the way you moaned earlier.." he smirked. 

She smacked his arm again. "Oh shut it! I'll kick your ass, but anyway.. I do want to have something more," she said, rocking on her heels. 

Eren smiled, "Sounds good.. can I kiss you again?" he asked. 

She nodded her head before leaning into his face again, Eren put his hands onto her shoulders giving them a small squeeze before pulling away. 

"Kissing you hits different," he whispered before kissing her cheek. 

Her cheeks were hot, "You're such a dork.. goodnight Eren!" she said, putting her hand on the knob of the door. 

He chuckled, "Goodnight (Y/N)."

Eren walked back to his dorm with a giant grin on his face, he felt like he just won a game just now; but this time.. he won something special. (Y/N).

tagging: @ererokii @eremiie @erensapologist @luvrboykento @callmepromise @katsuhera @moomii-hime @flam3bird @thicmitten @daughter-of-the-stars11 @just-a-little-sad @lunamoonawatcher @sofi-yeager @ryan249057 @chayauwu @bell0214 @jaegercult

[kyun-toast]

[MONSTA X] Changkyun - Happy Without Me

word count: 3.8k warnings: alcohol, suggestions of smoking, swearing, suggestions of sex summary: I don't think about you sometimes 'Cause I think about you all the time a/n: I’ve been listening to the All About Luv album a lot recently and Happy Without Me hit a little different the other day. I hope you don’t notice how I slacked off near the end 💜

“Yerim what are you wearing for tonight? I wanna look cute but not like ‘I’ve put effort in’ kinda cute, you know? Like I’m always this cute.”

Yerim laughed as she replied, “You’d look hot wearing a bin bag so shut up and let me know what drinks you want. It’s ‘bring your own booze’ so I was gonna run to the store for extra before we go.”

“Umm, vodka? Tequila? Maybe rum? I’m getting smashed tonight and you’re all going to carry me home, just letting you know.” Soobin winked and blew kisses at the both of you with a coy smile on her face, as some form of ‘thank you in advance’ for the troubles that you would be going through later that night. As much pain she put the both of you through, it was hard not to love her.

“Yeah, you say that as if that’s not what happens every week, you psycho.”

You smiled from the comfort of your sofa as you witnessed the two of your best friends bicker. You were never really one for parties, but you decided to let yourself go after an unfortunate night maybe five? six months ago. You thought that you could vent your frustrations into your notes app and be done with it, but your friends took pity and introduced you to another option. One where you could numb your mind with alcohol and crashing bass, and you figured that it was somewhat more enjoyable than cry-writing shitty poetry on a Friday night. Notes app therapy was now a thing of the past.

Changkyun had become such an integral part of your life that you couldn’t help yourself from unconsciously replaying memories that you had attempted to bury. A simple look at the most irrelevant objects would have him running through your mind before you could even stop yourself. Oh, we bought this mug together. You were surprised he hadn’t taken it with him when he left. It was his favourite mug to drink whiskey out of. Speaking of whiskey, you needed a drink. It had only taken days for him to make himself at home at the forefront of your thoughts but how long was it going to take to rid of him?

As much as you tried to keep those thoughts at bay, no amount of alcohol could ever stop them from crashing back over you whenever you saw that little smiley face appear at the top of your Instagram feed.

imnameim. When had he posted a story? You hadn’t seen the pink circle earlier. Would it be too early to look at it now? You couldn’t risk tapping on it only to see that it had been posted 12 seconds ago, just like you had done the other day. And the day before. And the day before that. Should you just make a burner account? No, that’s too far, we’re not going there today, bitch... Maybe tomorrow.

You hated how much power that tattoo face held over you, looking straight into your eyes - almost mockingly. Oh, did I look like a smiley face to you six months ago? Well, I’m a sad face now and that’s all you’re ever going to see.

“Y/N! Hey! You’re going to stare a hole into your phone.” Soobin clapped in your face, trying to get your attention. You looked up, softening your expression to meet Yerim’s eyes.

“Soobin was asking what you’re going to wear tonight.” Yerim said.

“I don’t know, probably that top I got yesterday?” you shrugged, unbothered by your friends’ question. You weren’t going to parties to impress anyone; you were going to drink the last of your braincells away.

“Y/N, ‘that top’ you got yesterday is a free t-shirt you got from the Domino’s pop-up stall on campus. I’m not letting you do this again.” Yerim dead panned.

“OK and...?” You met both of their concerned faces only to have them grab each of your arms.

“Come on. Up. That’s it.” You made unintelligible noises as they dragged you up off the sofa and into your closet. The thoughts about Changkyun’s story were left on the sofa as your mind was now filling with an excited buzz. “You act like you hate this, but I know you love getting trashed with us, Y/N.” Yerim laughed and you knew it too.

-

Changkyun lay in Jae-in’s bed, with her nestled in his chest as he looked up at the ceiling and sighed. Being careful not to wake her, he slowly squeezed his arm out from under her head to lay on his stomach to scroll through Instagram.

He had posted a story over an hour ago, half hoping that you’d see it – a cover of Dean’s Instagram. How ironic.

He shook his head at how pathetic his efforts seemed, whispering to himself, “What the hell are you doing?” He refreshed his feed for the last time to see that you had posted a video of the three of you dancing to a song in your walk-in closet. Probably drunk. Upon re-watching the video on loop for the third time, he concluded that you were most definitely drunk.

Seeing you having fun like this had him torn between being happy for you, moving on with your life and probably on to other men too. Being attractive plus the endless number of parties you went to now was just the perfect recipe. You were bound to have found someone.

And this is where the hatred washed over him. He despised it. Hated seeing you have fun without him, moving on as if he had never existed. Was it that easy for you to just forget? It seemed unfair that he was still struggling to keep you off his mind while you were out having the time of your life, letting your followers know of that fact too.

Deep down, he knew that he wasn’t happy for you at all. He was just trying to kid himself into thinking that he was. Be mature and everything. That was what both of you had agreed to be when your relationship came to an end. After days of what could probably be called a verbal equivalent of a nuclear war, the two of you had given up.

Crying, shouting, complete silence, you had done it all and there was no end in sight. On day three of radio silence, you felt as if you could do without speaking to Changkyun at all. When you brought it up, he admitted he felt the same. Exhaustion making both of you devoid of any emotion, you agreed to disagree and act like the fight had never happened. You were tired and wanted nothing more to do with it. Or each other. Thinking of yourselves as somewhat grown, you decided to be civil since you were in the same circle of friends, not wanting to burden them with any of your problems.

With so many things left unsaid and ties still loose, there was no way that you could just cut clean. But you never so much as bumped into each other since.

You hadn’t blocked each other though, as you both felt that it was some sign of weakness. Yeah, I’m tough enough to keep them on my socials. They don’t bother me. Not at all. But in the small hours of the morning, you were on each other’s profiles, hoping for a glimpse of what they were up to. Wondering if he had finished that song he was working on. If you were eating well. If he was really seeing Jae-in seriously. If you were well and truly happy.

“Hey, how are you doing?”

Y/N’s doing just fine for themselves, everyone can see that.

“Did you finish that essay?”

No, that’s too random.

“I think about you all the time.”

Shut up Changkyun.

Though you had both agreed to be ‘friends’, there was no easy way in going about messaging one another when you had fought so explosively. Changkyun also felt that he had missed the right timeframe for him to salvage whatever there was left of the relationship. Whether it be platonic or romantic. No matter how much he wanted to message you, his pride falsely masked as maturity stopped him from ever doing more than wish for you to call him and say that everything was going to be ok. That you can start over.

“Do you wanna go to Minhyuk’s house party?” Jae-in’s voice was heavy with sleep, squinting her eyes at the bright screen of her phone. Changkyun was startled from his thoughts, not realising that she had been woken up by a text.

“House party…?” Changkyun was dubious.

“It’s ok if you don’t want to, it’s just that we don’t ever do anything besides fuck, and I thought we could do with a change of scenery.”

“I mean yeah it’s just that we’ve never hung out with other people before. Like together.”

He had met Jae-in at a bar a few months ago. Holed up in his studio after the breakup, Changkyun got to channelling his anger into working on his music until his course mate Minhyuk persuaded him out for drinks. Minhyuk had flirted with the girls from the table over to get them to join in on the pity party. Jae-in had seated herself next to Changkyun and a few drinks later, they had quickly bonded over their childhood obsession with Death Note to which she followed up with an invitation to watch it at her place. Who was Kyun to reject? With all this pent-up energy to spare, music wasn’t quite cutting it.  

“I doubt anyone will care that we arrived together.” Jae-in shrugged. “Let’s go.”

-

“Yeah, I invited Jae-in and I think Changkyun might come with her too.” Minhyuk stated nonchalantly over the phone. You choked on your wine and thanked God that the music in your room was loud enough to cover the unnatural sound you had just made. “Y/N, is that ok? I should have asked you befo-”

“No, I don’t care.” You replied a little too quickly, “It’s been months and we broke up on good terms anyway, remember?”

“MINNIE! I MISS YOU!” Soobin drunkenly shouted across the room as Yerim held her back from throwing herself at the phone.

“I MISS YOUR FACE TOO, BINNIE! I’LL SEE YOU LATER!” Minhyuk chuckled as he didn’t hesitate to match her volume through the phone.

“Ugh, you two make me sick”, Yerim rolled her eyes, “You literally saw each other this morning. Just get together already.”

As Soobin and Minhyuk continued to chat, engulfed in their own little world, you reached to grab another drink. If Minhyuk’s predictions were right, you were going to need something stronger than wine to get you through the night.

-

Stepping into Minhyuk’s apartment, Changkyun could feel the bass rumble underneath his feet already.

“Hey! You made it! I thought you guys weren’t going to come, it’s so late! But we have drinks and snacks in the kitchen. Oh, and Jae-in, the bathrooms just through the hallway on the right…” Minhyuk’s voice trailed off into the loud music. Changkyun followed behind Jae-in as his friend gave the newcomer a guided tour of his place.

Though he was familiar with the apartment, it felt a little weird for him to walk through it with someone else by his side. A pack of cards strewn over the floor jogged his memory back to a particularly warm night in June. With the sun just beginning to rise, you both stood below Minhyuk’s balcony at 4am. You shouted,

“HEY MINHYUK, WE’RE GOING TO PLAY UNO AT YOUR PLACE, D’YOU WANNA JOIN?”

“THOUGHT WE’D ASK IN CASE YOU’D FEEL LEFT OUT.” Changkyun added. You both snickered as Minhyuk opened his window to shout back at you, regretting that he had ever given you two the spare keys to his apartment.

“ARE YOU REALLY INVITING ME TO PLAY CARDS MY OWN HOUSE RIGHT NOW?!” Birds fluttered away startled, as a neighbouring window flashed on a light in annoyance. Your shouting combined could never top the sheer volume of Minhyuk’s voice. Changkyun grabbed your hand as you ran into the building laughing before the neighbour could join in on the screaming match.

With classes finished for the year, you had what felt like an infinite amount of time on your hands. Kyun smiled to himself as he was reminded of those summer nights that he had spent with you. Stargazing, pillow talking, daydreaming on repeat.

“Yeah, so you can get to the outdoor space through the living room but I’m giving you special access to my little balcony through my room because you’re uh, Changkyun’s friend.” Minhyuk grinned as he ended his tour.

Upon entering the actual party in the lounge, Changkyun stopped in his tracks at the sight of you on the other side of the room. For a moment, the smoke in the room seemed to clear as his eyes trained on you throw your head back in laughter at Yerim’s animated storytelling. Hearing your voice so crystal clear made his heart swell with something that he couldn’t quite put into words. Half a year had passed since he had last seen you, sat broken on the floor of your apartment, explaining that it would be best to part ways. You had looked so drained of emotion then; it was such a stark contrast to what he was seeing now. He stood frozen, heart beating hard against his chest like a hammer.

“Kyun! Why are you so late?” Wonho, another friend of Kyun’s appeared out of nowhere with a bottle of tequila in his hand. “You gotta catch up on the drinks now, come on, open your mouth.” Wonho went to grab his face with one hand as he proceeded to try and pour some alcohol into his mouth jokingly. Changkyun chuckled as he play-fought with Wonho only to stop midway when he noticed Jae-in smiling at the sight.

“Oh, this is my friend Jae-in.” Kyun straightened up and brushed off his clothes.

Wonho went to shake her hand as Minhyuk snuck up behind him.

"Yeah, friend.” He giggled as he raised his brows suggestively and left as quickly as he appeared shouting, “Binnie! Where are you? We gotta go make those s’mores you wanted!”

Changkyun rolled his eyes and smiled as he guided Jae-in to the nearest table of drinks and set to introducing her to the rest of his friends, hoping that you wouldn’t notice him.

-

At this point, the three of you were beyond gone. Soobin had already passed out with a s’more in her hand as Minhyuk hauled her over his shoulder to put her to sleep in the guest room.

“And she.. she was telling me to sythensi.. she was telling me thynsenise, no, synsi.. she wanted me to synthesise, there we go, snythi…” Yerim tripped over words, dead set on getting her pronunciation right while Hyungwon sat and nodded with his signature painful smile on his face. She was determined, hand on his shoulder with a grip that let him know he wasn’t going anywhere until she had finished her story.

As for you? You were sat next to Yerim, a vacant smile on your face as you struggled to keep your eyes open. Day drinking followed up with a house party in the evening really wasn’t the best idea for the lightweights that you are but there you were, listening to your friend repeat the same sentence over and over again. An urgent voice in your head piped up, letting you know that you should probably go for a breath of fresh air.

“Yerim, hey, Yerim, I’m.. going for some air… stay with Hyungwon okay? Hyungwon, call me if anything happens?” You stood up, struggling to find your balance and teetered across the room to get to Minhyuk’s balcony.

The thing about you is that you are one of those blessed people that can sober up as quickly as they get smashed. You felt refreshed, taking in a deep breath as if to cleanse your alcohol ridden bloodstreams with the cool evening air. Your head still spun a little but as long as you kept your eyes anchored on the moon, you’d be fine in no time.

As much as your body needed a break from the party, it wasn’t the greatest timing for your mental state. Once you had assumed that Changkyun wasn’t coming to the party, you let go of the anxiety holding you back from enjoying yourself. You had been overstimulated from the alcohol, music, and people, not giving yourself a chance to think about anything else. But once those factors were gone, it was just you, alone with your drunken thoughts on a balcony looking up at the moon. And just like that, those suppressed memories regarding a certain boy couldn’t help but unpack themselves from your unconscious. Oh man, this was going to be such a good cry.

-

Changkyun was beginning to feel a little too tipsy for his liking. Though he was having a great time, it felt as if he wasn’t entirely present at the scene, like he was watching and laughing along through a TV screen. He slipped away from the kitchen island to get a breather.

“Oh shit, sorry, I didn’t realise anyone was here.” He apologised, going to close the door of Minhyuk’s balcony to a figure hunched over the railing. You looked up from your hands at him and tried to focus on the blurry face.

His movements faltered when your eyes met, door still open. Just one look at you was enough for that knock back into reality Changkyun had needed. God were you a sight for sore eyes. He drank up the way your cheeks and nose were flushed pink, how your eyes were glossy in the moonlight, eyelashes thick with tears, and the way the softly coloured city lights behind you framed your face. With the night air stained with your perfume and the sounds of muted traffic perfecting the scene, he had never felt so in the present until now. He wanted this moment to last a lifetime.

“Changkyun?” You replied, as you wiped your eyes clear of the tears blurring your vision. You could tell that voice apart anywhere, you only questioned in the slight chance that you were just hallucinating, going insane.

“Are you ok? I can leave if you want, I-” He began hurriedly, knowing that you hated having anyone see you cry.

“I’m fine.” You sniffed.

“Bad day?” He asked softly, bringing himself to stand next to you, looking over at the cityscape.

“Yeah, something like that.” You replied, letting out a small laugh as you wiped the last of the tears from your face. 

Tension hung so thick in the air you could feel it weigh down on your shoulders. Changkyun hated that you, the person he had once shared the deepest parts of his mind with, was someone he was now so uncomfortable with.

You both stood there awhile, looking out at the blinking lights of the cityscape. As quiet as it was, you could almost hear the sound of your brains whirring, going back and forth over whether or not you should say something to break the silence. Changkyun had spent months thinking of questions he wanted to ask you for when this moment came, but the alcohol and nerves fogged up his mind. All he could think of doing was holding you in his arms, hoping for you to be able to feel his apologies, sincerity and promises through the beating of his chest.

A heavy pressing in your lungs only intensified, as you thought about how the present situation had become the outcome of those few perfect years. You regulated your breathing, trying to break down the lump from coming up in your throat, on the verge of tears again. Thinking back, you realised that you probably could have been a little more understanding, could have softened your sharp words, could have opened your heart up some more to allow for Changkyun to do so in return. These thoughts and emotions bubbled up inside your chest to spill out of your mouth before you even knew what you wanted to say.

“Changkyun, I-”

“I found a really nice place for nights like this. Y/N.” he cut across with an anxious tremble in his voice. He could feel the apology ready to tumble from your lips, he had to stop you from apologising for things that you really didn’t need to. He hated that your heart was so big and so loving that you were willing to start trying to mend this relationship first. But he hated himself more for not having the courage to try to be even half as loving as you are.

He continued, still looking out over the balcony, worried that he’d start to tear up if he met your eyes again, “you can see the stars so clearly, it’s insane.”

You turned to him, tears welling in your eyes again. Despite having cut each other from your lives for what felt like a lifetime, it broke you how he could still read you like his favourite book.

“Can we go? Y/N? I’ve waited so long to show you.”

Hot tears fell down your cheeks again as Changkyun noticed and turned to you, pulling you into his chest as you cried out the mess of emotions you had amassed. 

The person you had wanted to talk about your breakup with Changkyun the most, was so ironically Changkyun. He’d know how to calm you down, how to sort out your problems with ice cream in bed like any other issue you were facing. But what were you supposed to do when you had cut the one who understood you the most so bluntly from your life? Who were you supposed to turn to when you wanted to talk about that?

Your cries pierced into his heart deeper with every second that passed, feeling the hurt in your voice in the deepest parts of his soul. He replied by holding you tighter, and you could feel all those things he left unsaid that day you left in the warmth of his chest.

“We don’t have to rush,” He whispered into your hair, “I have all the time in the world for you. Let it out.”

He brought a hand up from your shoulders hesitantly, feeling almost undeserving of comforting you after the pain he had caused you. But to you, his hand stroking your hair was where you found your solace.

So, there you stood, in each other’s arms having poured out your hearts to one another without having said a single word. But you both knew that you felt every single one.

[mysticaltora8276]

Break Down of A Scene

Oh boy. I found this lovely thing and felt the need to break this down. Not sure exactly where it's from but if I had to guess I'd say this is from Sacrifice from Legends written by my least favorite writer of Star Wars media Karen Traviss. Here we go.

“Dad, was the Empire really a reign of terror?”

-Yes it was what with all the threats of extermination, orbital bombardments, forced labor camps, forced conscription, slavery for non-humans, suppression of rights...just to name a few.

“Just a bit…”

-What? Uh Luke? What? WHAT?! No! You should be denouncing it with the strongest vehemence considering you fought against in a Rebellion!

“I know you and Uncle Han and Aunt Leia had a rough time of it, but what about ordinary people?”

-Define "Ordinary people" Ben Skywalker. Really I'd love to hear what you'd say to all the Ithorians, Wookiees, Twi'leks, Bothans, Neimoidians, Lasat Jedi just to name a few who were actively persecuted against and discriminated against in the Empire. So yes the ordinary people did have it bad.

Mara chewed with slow deliberation, her gaze in slight defocus on a point in the mid-distance. “You might want to ask Alderaan. No, wait—it’s gone, isn’t it? Oops. That’s what happened to ordinary people, and I know better than most.”

-Yes because you participated in it and now would be a good time to tell him that since he clearly understands that implication....

Because you did some of it. Luke faced up to the fact that he couldn’t expect Ben to believe a word either of them said to him.

-So you're just going let him believe in this nonsense instead of correcting him? You are his FATHER! Speak up!

They’d both done things that they were telling him he couldn’t do now.

-Opposing a fascist government....Why aren't they encouraging that? It doesn't make sense. Why is opposing a fascist ideology bad?

“But most people didn’t really notice, did they?” Ben seemed to be fixed on course.

-Yes they did. Some joined the Rebellion because of Alderaan. But quite a few were too terrified to do anything. I mean wouldn't you be if you know that the government is willing to blow up a planet on a whim?

“Their lives went on as before."

-No it didn't....unless they were in with those in power. Most were scared of being next.

"Maybe a few people who were political got a midnight visit from a few stormies, but most folks got on with their lives, right?”

-Ah Ben, way to say "how I am fascist without saying "I am fascist." " See that's the lie of fascism. The idea that if you just shut up and keep your head down then you won't disappear....That's a lie. It doesn't matter because all it takes is just you getting an official angry or existing if you’re the local target of abuse by the government which the case of Star Wars existing as a non-human or a Jedi. So no Ben they lived in fear of being next.

“Right,” Mara conceded. “But living in fear isn’t living at all.”

-Thanks Mara....Now elaborate a little please?

“It’s better than dead.”

-AKA I can't be bothered to help out people and instead tacitly support an institution that murders people on a whim. And what do you mean “it’s better than being dead “? Are you basically saying that you’d rather live under a fascist regime because it supposedly “leaves normal people like me” alone then get killed fighting for democracy? Ben your father opposed a fascist government and for that matter. Luke, you want to pip in at any time? You've seen the abuses and aftermath. Ugh I hate this kind of straw manning

“You think the Empire was okay, Ben?” Luke asked.

-That's not what I had in mind. Seriously Luke what?

“I don’t know. It just seems that a handful of people can think they have the duty—the right—to change things for everybody else."

-Which is what your cousin is doing right now. Literally. I mean seriously. Even in canon the Empire apologists acknowledge the wrongs of the Empire even if they downplay the severity of it. Heck why isn't Luke shutting down this thought train? He'd know better then most.

"It’s a big decision, rebellion, isn’t it?"

-Yes.

"But most decisions that affect trillions of beings get made by a few people.”

-Again your cousin is doing precisely that with....GAG(Appropriate). Also in a properly functioning democracy or republic that isn't the case....

Luke and Mara looked at each other discreetly and then at Ben. He’d acquired political curiosity somewhere along the line.

-This isn’t political curiosity this is strawman arguing basically say I support a fascist regime because I’m one of the “normal People”. It’s one of the most insidious and dumb arguments you can make but unfortunately quite a few people listen to this.

Whatever mission Jacen had sent him on—and he had, Luke was certain—it had made the boy think. "

-Like a fascist. Sorry but I saw this clip in another post and while it was critical of it I felt the need to break down the issues I personally have with this. This is a poor argument and while I'm not a big fan of post Endor EU save for Zahn whose writting I think shines the best this is just plain bad.