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mysmegrace · 3 years

Note

can i please request rfa with mc who has constant stomach , head and back pain thanks to stress / anxiety please ?

of course~ i'm kinda going through something similar ha... classes are scheduled to start again soon and my anxiety always spikes worse than it does regularly.

RFA with an MC who has Constant Stomach, Head, and Back Pain Due to Anxiety/Stress

---

yoosung kim:

your entire day had been a nightmare.

from participating in classes and working a part time job, you were worn out.

honestly, you felt quite sick.

you hadn’t noticed how much your body was aching until you had finally arrived home.

aiming for your bed, you wasted no time in unpacking before landing straight into your pillows.

the stress and anxiety the day gave you has now left you barely awake, small groans of pain leaving your mouth.

some higher power had given you the gift of sleep for no more than an hour before you were awoken by a phone call.

of course saeyoung would mess with you after he’d seen you on the cctvs walking home exhausted.

yet to your shock, it was yoosung.

you could’ve sworn he told you earlier that he had to study this hour.

quickly composing yourself the best you could, you answered to be greeted with a whined hi.

“hi yoosung” you responded, thinking you had masked your tired state well enough.

but you had always been a poor actor after all.

he paused, before asking “are you okay?”

in this state, you couldn’t be bothered to lie to him, getting into some kind of debate over your wellbeing.

“i’m just... exhausted. my entire body is aching” you admitted.

hearing a small sigh through the other end of the phone, you were about say your goodbyes for the night before he responded, “how come princess”.

his tone matched your upset one, yet with a hint of sympathy added on.

you sighed, responding “i’ve had an exhausting day, it’s taken a tole on me”.

he had to stop, thinking of the best ways to comfort you.

after a few seconds of no response, you continued “sorry yoosung, but i just want to rest right now”.

quickly, he snapped out of his thought process, not realizing the silence he had been giving you.

“that’s alright, please sleep well” he said, before hearing the sound of you hanging up the phone.

once you had come to your senses the following day, you noticed something was off.

french toast wasn’t something that spread in the air often in your apartment.

yet your suspicions were cut short as yoosung came around the corner, noticing your awakened state.

shocked, you began to sit up before being pushed back down, completely caught off guard.

“no work for you today lady, you just rest” he said, before running back out to the kitchen, bringing back a plate of french toast seconds later.

you couldn’t help but smile, yet a question popped up in your mind.

“wait, how am i going to eat this if i can’t sit up” you asked.

“easy, i’ll feed you”, problem solved.

hyun ryu / zen:

boarding the bus with zen, the first thing that caught your attention was the sheer compacity inside.

you two were only planning to take the bus 10 minutes to a new cafe that opened in town.

it was the perfect day to do so.

you and zen had off work, the weather was great, and it wasn’t predicted to be busy.

taking hold of the first railing you could find, keeping zen’s hand in your grip, you couldn’t help but to start getting overwhelmed.

there were so many people looking at you as you got on, and now you were stuck between a bunch of strangers looking you up and down with nothing else to do.

you felt your stomach start to turn, you knew this feeling well.

if you didn’t get off soon, you’d be sick and start crying with everything going on.

8 minutes in, you couldn’t take it anymore.

you had tried to get through by zoning out and thinking about other things, yet nothing was in your favour.

you were terrified, and now physically ill.

mentally preparing yourself, you pulled the string, your hand cutting between two heads of people you’d never seen before.

who knows if they were judging you?

that thought didn’t help a thing.

the bus came to a stop within the next few seconds, and you pulled zen’s hand tightly, practically pulling him off the bus.

“babe, we get off up there” he said, pointing north as the bus had taken off again.

you couldn’t handle a conversation with him right now, you needed to find a washroom.

taking notice of a camp-like washroom set up alongside the park a few steps away, you rushed off.

zen chased you in shock, attempting to grab a hold of your arm, to which you flicked him off of several times before reaching the area.

now he was stuck, not being able to go farther once you dashed into the ladies room.

he stood in a ball of confusion and worry.

you hadn’t acted like this before.

while inside the washroom, you locked yourself in the stall to the back, attempting to collect yourself.

once you came to the realization that your strategy wasn’t working, you just let it all out.

you felt like shit.

god, you had ruined the entire day with zen, embarrassed the two of you, and now you had made yourself physically sick.

you stayed in there for 15 minutes, simply balling your eyes out before deciding to go out and talk to him.

seeing you emerge from the washroom door, he took the best approach he imagined, pulling you into a tight hug as his eyes came across your redden face.

“i’m sorry” you muttered out, your face pressed against his chest.

quickly, he responds “it’s okay jagi, please tell me why you’re so upset”, comforting you with the tone of his voice, making you ease up a touch.

“i, there were so many people on the bus. i got sick, i was so anxious” you let out.

you knew how accepting your boyfriend was, which was why you weren’t shocked by the comforting words he spoke next.

“shhh, i get it, don’t cry”, pulling back a bit to clear the hair from your face.

he continued, saying “do you need anything? some medicine, drink?”

you shook your head, saying “no, i just need to calm myself down for a bit”.

“of course” he said, holding you until you said you were okay again not too long after.

jaehee kang:

“ugh” you let out, walking past jaehee with a throbbing pain in your head.

the cafe was making you unbelievably stressed, it was nothing like you’d ever experienced.

stress was a major downside to your cafes growing popularity, though you didn’t expect it.

little to your knowledge, jaehee heard ur groan, getting away from the counter for a spilt second.

“hm?” she said, before continuing “are you okay mc?”

“i just...” you paused, thinking of your next words.

you didn’t want to lie to her, but you didn’t want to make her worried on top of the already stressful situation.

“my head just hurts” you said, hoping to pass it off as a simple headache.

“are you alright? when did it start?” she asked, concern lacing her tone.

these pains were nothing new to you, but they got worse each and every time.

you had no energy to lie at this point, you were already done in by the day.

“the stress is getting to me, my head always aches when these things happen” you answered.

you could see her facial expression pause, as if she was deep in thought.

yet the expression changed within the minute as she responded “please go home, take the day off”.

you were blown away.

of course you didn’t want to leave jaehee alone, but you knew you couldn’t carry on like this for long.

you quickly argued “i can’t do that, you’ll be left with the stress alone”.

she gave a small smile, glancing at the clock, before responding “thank you for worrying, but i’ll be alright. there’s only an hour before closing and i can tell how bad this is effecting you”.

hence why with hesitation, you took her up on the offer.

you gathered your stuff up to leave, and went on autopilot, waking up the next day covered in warm blankets.

you couldn’t remember a thing after leaving, but you could feel how calm your body became with a bit of stress relief.

and you made sure to give jaehee your biggest thanks the next day.

jumin han:

you had started your new business over the summer.

and being the wife of c&r’s chariman-to-be, naturally people were intrigued.

many were incredibly supportive, although the occasional rumours surfaced from time to time.

crazy ideas you wouldn’t have been able to think of yourself.

suddenly you were the daughter of a president aboard, you and jumin weren’t actually married, and you only used jumin to fund and grow your business.

all completely foolish, never lasting more than a week.

however, this time around was different.

you had woken up to articles suggesting you were having an affair on your husband with your father in law, and that you had been using company profit for your own benefit.

how they came to these conclusions was beyond you, but you let it slide for now thinking it would only last a few days.

certainly nobody would believe this, there was no evidence brought forward and nothing you did had ever hinted towards these claims.

but that wasn’t the case this time.

one week went by and nothing changed.

two weeks went by and you noticed that the rumours had only increased and more was being added to the story.

now three weeks had passed, and things were only getting worse.

you had started getting emails about the rumours and sponsors had started pulling out to stay safe.

not only was it getting to you in a business sense, but your body had become ridden with stress and anxiety.

you woke up everyday in an upset mood, the first thing you noticed after coming to your senses was the back throughout your entire body.

though today it was focused in your abdomen.

this morning was no different from the previous few.

except jumin had stayed home from work for elizabeth the thirds yearly checkup.

he was the overreactive father to his cat daughter.

when he returned home with the news of elizabeths pristine health, he was met with your sleeping figure.

it was something out of the ordinary as you were usually awake at 6am.

yet it was 10am and he was standing beside your sleeping state.

remembering you had work, he shook you with ease to wake you up.

watching as you slowly opened your eyes, and within a snap you jumped up from the position you were lying in.

“what time is it?” you asked your husband frantically.

his eyes widen, slowly answered “it’s 10am, are you alright love?”

you wanted to cry.

you had woken up earlier at your usual time to an upset stomach, took some medication to ease your nerves, and laid down on your phone for a bit.

falling asleep wasn’t the plan.

“i didn’t mean to fall asleep, i need to-” you said, finding yourself in sobs midway through.

you couldn’t continue.

the tears fell uncontrollably, all the stress and worries coming out.

and jumin was at a loss for words.

yet he went to embrace you, calming you down through little words of endearment.

when you were finally calm enough to communicate, he asked “what’s going on?”

you let it all out, though you wanted to hide it from him earlier, you were desperate for things to subside at this point.

“there are all these rumours that have been going around for weeks, stuff about me getting with your father, using profit for myself, and using your entire family for exposure.”

you inhaled, being continuing “i thought they would end, but they keep going on and now it’s effecting my business. i just want it to stop”.

you stopped yourself from breaking down again, quickly composing yourself.

jumin paused, unsure of what to say.

hearing your sobs shattered his heart.

there were so many questions he needed answered, where would he even begin.

thinking for a bit, he asked “why didn’t you tell me earlier? it pains me to see you in tears”.

looking up to meet his eyes, you answered “i didn’t want you to worry”.

you knew it wasn’t an excuse he’d take seriously, but you were honest.

“your wellbeing comes before me, do not worry about my state”.

he had told you that since the day you became a couple.

adding onto that, he said “you’re staying home today. get some rest and i’ll take care of everything”.

you couldn’t argue, and part of you felt relieved getting it off your shoulders.

doing as he asked, you fell asleep again, napping like a baby.

you woke up again sometime around noon, immediately looking through your phone.

a new article caught your eye.

“Chairman Han denies all rumours involving MC and the upcoming business” it read.

you knew it wasn’t over yet, but you found comfort in the fact that it was finally thrown out of the water.

and within the next few days, you noticed your mood return to normalcy along with your body.

the stomach aches, headaches, and back pain disappeared.

you had learned your lesson, and didn’t hide your worries from then on.

saeyoung choi:

you dragged saeyoung out of the house for the night.

being the hard task that it was, you were understandably tired.

but you wouldn’t let that stop the night in front of you from being a success.

you had planned a special date to the movies in celebration of your birthday.

it was a movie you had wanted to see since it came out a year prior.

you were expecting to leave in a scared state of mind due to the movies horror nature.

what you weren’t expecting was the compacity of the movie theatre.

you wouldn’t be quick to admit it, but the sheer look of things frightened you.

it shouldn’t have been that hard to sit down and stare at a screen.

but all your attention was taken off of the movie, now directed at the people around you.

were they looking at you funny?

did you have something on your face?

were they judging you?

these questions wouldn’t leave your mind.

though you made multiple internal attempts to stop it, they just kept coming.

eventually it got too much, the nerves overwhelmed you, and you felt your stomach become physically ill.

you were gonna be sick, you thought.

turning to whisper to saeyoung, excusing yourself from the movie, you left to the washroom.

there were people in the ladies room as well, but they eventually left one by one.

you hung your head over the toilet seat, just waiting for your body to give in.

it was probably best to hide out in the stall for the remainder of the movie, you figured.

and that you tried to do, until saeyoung became suspicious and started looking for you 20 minutes later.

after searching the halls, the only reasonable conclusion left was that you were in the washroom.

he became worried that you were ill and needed help.

hence why he stood outside the door, yelling your name inside.

it caught you off guard, you weren’t ready to face him yet and have an excuse prepared.

though you didn’t have long to stay in your thoughts for long once he yelled your name out again.

leaving your safe area for the foreseeable future, you hesitantly went outside.

the red lining your eyes and your skin beginning to pale was the first thing that came to his attention as you met him outside.

“are you alright?” he asked, his voice full of fright.

“my stomach hurts” you answered, while not technically lying.

you didn’t want to come across as ruining the night by your own fear.

“i’m sorry” you let out, the guilt getting to you.

he hugged you, saying “don’t apologize, please, we’ll go home”.

he didn‘t know exactly why you became sick, but he knew better than to keep you in public while being so sick.

once you arrived home, he asked “did you catch something?” caressing your leg as you sat beside him in the parked car.

“umm” you thought for a second, “i think so”.

he looked you dead in the eye, a full minute passing by, before responding “you’re not a very good liar”.

you looked at him in confusion, trying to pass your lie off as reality.

“please, tell me the truth” he pleaded.

now you were hurting him, you thought.

your lies were too see-through to continue with this, hence why you fessed up.

“my anxiety got the best of me, there were too many people there, it made me sick” you confessed.

you felt the comfort of a hand on your shoulder within a second, feeling shitty for ending your date early.

“i understand” he said, continuing “we can have an even better night at home instead”.

you smiled, glad to see him okay with the current situation.

“of course, thank you” you said.

the rest of the night was full of sweets and cuddles, watching a fluffy drama on the tv.

you fell asleep on the couch together, awoken by saeran the next morning wanting to sit down within saeyoungs foot in his lap.

---

20:00 AST - 09/06/21

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sapphirewolf1122 · 4 years

Text

Coming in, Fat

Summary: All you want to do is use your quirk to help others. But sometimes, you go a little overboard.

Word Count: 1, 477

A/N: Sorry, got distracted by another project and didn’t finish my research in time to post this yesterday! But on the bright side, put together a wedding compilation video that I meant to do like three months ago! Anywho, this is just a scene that came from a convo I had with my sister about someone who had a quirk that let them manipulate their fat all around their body and, potentially, others. Which led to the idea of her swatting Fat Gum clear across a room...soooo, here ya ago. My sister may post a romantic version of this but I don’t wanna tag her and call her out like that. Thanks for reading and hope you like it!

“One bowl of miso ramen, topped with ajitama and negi, please. Oh, and ten onigiri, all tuna.”

The vendor eyed you doubtfully; you had distributed your fat pretty evenly today so you appeared to have a fairly thin figure. “Where you planning on putting all that food?”

“Food powers my quirk, so I have a heartier appetite than you might think,” you said with a smirk.

Seemingly satisfied with that answer, the vendor got to preparing your order. Soon, you were walking down the street, munching on one of your rice bowls. You had eaten the ramen by the vending cart before starting your patrol.

You hummed contentedly as you reached into your food bag for another rice bowl, though you still kept a sharp eye on the surrounding streets. There had been a rise in crime in this district recently so you’d decided to check it out. The one that was part of your usual patrol route had been very quiet lately, so you’d grown bored with it. Though your chest swelled with pride at the thought that you’d been part of the reason it had quieted down so much.

Your friends over at Naruhata had advised against patrolling out of your own town, saying that it led to a greater chance of getting caught red-handed. But you had brushed off their concerns. Disguising yourself was a specialty of yours after all.

Reaching into the bag again, your mind wandered back to when you were still in school. Many had been quite envious of your quirk, especially the girls. But no one had ever considered it worthy of hero work. Not even your parents, who had refused to let you even attend the hero course entrance exam at your local high school. To them, your quirk was all about looks.

Which reminded you. Stopping to look at yourself in a shop window, you squinted, thinking about what to do with your features today. You didn’t want to be too recognizable after all. Hm…you’d go more masculine today. Your profile had you pegged as female, so assuming a male look would really throw them off.

Concentrating, you broaden your shoulders and maneuver some fat into your face so that your features were a bit more rugged. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much you could do about your height. But you found that it often worked to your advantage anyway. Thugs didn’t normally expect those who were smaller than them to beat them up so much. In fact, it sometimes became a bit of an issue…

You’re too hot-headed and brash with your quirk. And that’s what’s gonna get you in a load of trouble one day.

Tch. Hot-headed...it’s not hot-headed if they had it coming. They're the ones who decided to pick a fight. You were completely reasonable. Satisfied with your disguise, you pulled up your hood and turned to continue your patrol.

Only to be knocked back as a body slammed into you, causing you to drop your food as you landed on your behind. Dumbfounded, you stared at the scattered contents. None of the remaining rice balls were salvageable. You heard the person mumble something but that didn’t stop your vision from filling with red. What kind of monster exhibited such a nonchalant and wasteful attitude towards food?

Whipping around to the rapidly retreating figure, you watched as they turned down a side street. As they did, you thought you saw the glint of a weapon in their hand. Your eyes widened. Could this person be a villain in more ways than one?

Rushing to your feet, you chased after them, rounding the corner to the side street to find that it was relatively deserted. The villain was a ways ahead; you wouldn’t be able to catch up by running after them. Good, you hated running.

Leaping into the air, you rapidly directed the majority of your fat into your legs, concentrating them around certain muscles for the most effective energy absorption. As you landed, you used the accumulated fat to send you springing forward again, this time higher and further than before. In fact, you may have overshot it a bit…

Suddenly, a yellow mass appeared in front of you with a yell. Unable to stop your fall at this point, you crashed into them, fully expecting both of you to go tumbling. Except...you didn’t? You’d barely registered that you were actually sinking into them before you shot back out.

As you flew back, your mind was racing. There was only one person who could’ve done that...only one hero.

You landed hard on the pavement. It took a lot of quick quirk improvisation on your part to keep you from getting too banged up; you managed to absorb most of the energy by concentrating your fat at key impact points. Still, you were left quite stunned once your tumble session was over.

Staring up at the sky, you had pretty much forgotten about the villain as your brain tried to process who had just launched you across the street.

Could it really be him? What district was this again? You weren’t on his patrolling grounds, were you? How could you not know if it were his patrolling grounds? No, there was no way. You would totally know if you had a chance of running into Fa—

“Hiya.” A big, grinning face in a yellow hood appeared above you.

“Gah, Fat Gum!” You practically jumped out of your skin as you rolled upright.

“Sure am. You all right there? Seemed like a pretty nasty tumble.”

“I-I’m fine.”

The BMI Hero: Fat Gum, the pro hero whom you admire more than any other, cocked his head. “Yeah, looks like it. Got some sort of absorption quirk? What was that jump you just made? Y’know using your quirk in public is illegal right; if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were chasin’ that guy. Actaully, you seem kinda familiar…”

Fat Gum recognized you?!

Before your mind could spiral any further on what that could mean, you heard a shout behind you. Turning, you saw a red-headed boy holding onto the guy who had knocked you over.

“Hey Fat, I got ‘im! Didn’t put up much of a fight. That other hero okay? That sure was a manly jump!” He gave you a sharp-toothed grin.

“Good job, Red. Detain him til the cops can get here. And all good here; was actually just about to ask our friend some questions. For one, they ain’t no hero.”

Crap, that didn’t sound good. “I...uh…” You started to back away but froze when Fat Gum placed his hand on your shoulder.

“In fact, looks like we got ourselves the vigilante, Futoi. She’s normally pretty hard to catch since she can manipulate her looks with her quirk but it seems she’s used up her excess fat.”

At his remark, you automatically went to touch your face to find that he was right. Your disguise had melted away due to the lack of fat left in your body. You felt a spark of your anger from before come back; this is why you’d needed those rice balls!

“Now young lady, please come with me. You’re wanted for several counts of illegal quirk use.”

Shaking off his hand, you backed away with a shake of your head. “I just use my quirk to help people! To help heroes like you catch the bad guys!”

Fat Gum’s smile seemed to soften. “While that is very noble of you, without a license, that is considered the work of a vigilante.”

“It’s not my fault my quirk wasn’t deemed worthy of one,” you scowled, aware that you sounded rather bitter.

“Perhaps not, but that doesn’t negate the fact that you’ve performed illegal actions and for that—”

Fat Gum had started to reach for you again but, panicked, you swung at him, using his own excess fat to your advantage to send him flying. He crashed into a wall, blinking at you in surprise. Both you and Red Riot stared after him in shock. You recovered your senses first though and turned to sprint away.

Holding back tears, you mentally yelled at yourself. You attacked Fat Gum! Your hero role model! You had dreamed of joining his agency if you ever managed to obtain a license. Now you had made sure that would never happen. Ugh, Koichi would never let you hear the end of this.

~~~~~~~

Back in the alley, Fat Gum still lay among the rubble where he had landed, staring after you in shock. Kirishima rushed towards him, dragging the unconscious thug with him.

“Fat, you okay?! How could she send you flying like that?”

It was several moments before Fat answered. “Someone get that girl a license and sign her up for my agency immediately. Also, find me some takoyaki, will ya?”

~~~~~~~

A/N2: Yes, I know, I wasn’t very original with the vigilante name...but I like names to have meaning and I feel like Reader wouldn’t have really put much thought into it.

I tried to incorporate a few references to the Vigilante series; that was actually what my extra research was, haha. Wasn’t til after I wrote up the first draft of this that I remembered that Fat Gum literally featured in the series about vigilantes. Obviously, this is set a lot further down the timeline than where the current volumes are at.

Finally, if anyone has any name suggestions for the fic, I’m open to recommendations. Thank you again for reading!

#bnha #boku no hero #boku no hero academia #boku no hero fanfic #my hero academia #mha #Kirishima Eijirou #bnha kirishima #bnha eijiro kirishima #fatgum #bnha fat #bnha fatgum #vigilante #bnha vigilantes #bnha taishiro #reader #fatgum x reader #no romance

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pkmnsdarkqueen · 3 years

Text

The Drake Saga: And why giving kids an eevee is better than a hydreigon

Just A cute store about how Drake met Karne and eventually became an umbreon. Tho there is a pyrce scene so uhhh

Tw: child abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse

Also heads up Karen’s birth name Okera or ‘oki-doki’ which is the nickname her dad uses, is mentioned, refer to headcannons about how she ended up with Karen as her name.

Below cut for length

“Hey Okie-doki wanna see what daddy got you?”

The man grinned after bursting open the door. At least that was what Drake assumed happened from what he heard inside the pokeball. He didn’t really understand all that was happening. Just that he was picked up from his mother, and taken with this man. Some stranger he didn’t know, and heard a small girl giggling from outside his ball.

“Adgar what did you do?”

“Something amazing because every child deserves-”

And then it happened. There was a bright light and he went from sitting inside the pokeball to sitting on the ground. Some wood ground with eyes all staring at him. There was the man, a woman who wasn’t smiling staring at the man, and a child with large blue eyes maybe no older than 4.

“Ugh Adgar I said we had enough pokemon.”

“Yeah we have enough but Okie-doki here deserves to have one especially sinec she’d about to head to school.”

“Mine?!”

The child squeaked looking up in awe at who Drake assumed to be your fathers.

“All yours kiddo, we can go make it official at the pokemon center later.”

That was all it took for Drake to find himself in a new situation. He didn’t have time to react as the child moved with immediate speed to wrap him in her arms. He gave a squeak at first in fear, but soon found her grip was surprisingly too strong to break from. It was warm too.....well the warmth wasn’t so bad.

“Adgar honestly.”

“Oh come on Yua I didn’t get her a dragon type since you said that was too dangerous, or a dark type since they’re bad omens to your family. I still think a hydregion would of been cool, but I think this eevee is perfect. I went ahead and named him Drake.”

Yes....Drake, the name this human dubbed him when getting him. Everyone seemed so excited about what was happening besides this woman. There had been so much smiling and joy around him, and yet her face never moved from it’s frown. Giggling rang in his ear as the child kept saying Drake, and finding new spots to pet him in her arms.

As this happened the man crouched down next to his daughter, and pulled her closer for a side hug as he held up the shiny new pokeball freshly engraved on the bottom.

“See this Okera? This is Drake’s pokeball, he’s gonna have a little home in here ok? Wanna know what this says?”

“Yeah!”

“It says,’every princess needs a dragon,’ and Drake is gonna help keep you safe, and you’re gonna keep him safe. That’s what being a trainer is about. As you change he’s gonna change with you, and just like how I want you to become whatever you wanna be he’s going to become something he wants to be ok?”

Her dad explained in a soft comforting voice. Drake stared at him a moment processing this whole arrangement he was explaining. It seemed...silly. How was this doughy child supposed to protect him. He could get out of this hold if he wanted! As he looked back at those eyes he faltered though. They were just, so happy, so kind, so innocent in a way that when she pipped in he knew she was saying it with her whole heart.

“We Drake’s family! Gonna be the best trainer to him!”

I’ll be a good pokemon to you too tiny human.

He smiled setting his paw on her nose immediately getting a giggle from her, yeah this wasn’t so bad.

Dragons for dad

“Woah I mean you kinda look dragon like, do you feel like anything that feels like evolving yet?”

Karen asked crouched down next to her Eevee. The pokemon closed his eyes tightly. Alright think scales, and fijre breathing, and jewel hoarding, and thing dragon, think dragon! He focused all of his energy but.....nothing. There wasn’t even the lighting tingle of change he felt. He failed again. Drake realized opening his eyes as he stared at the ground despondently.

“Aw it’s ok Drake maybe we just gotta try using a new move or something.”

Karen encouraged starting to pull one of the dragon scales from his fur. Seeing that she was pulling the plug for the day he spit out the two dragon fangs he’d wedged in his mouth as well. The two of them were trying to accomplish something unheard of, the first dragon eeveelution. So far they’d tried alot of things, and the latest method was evolution items. He was sort of decorated everywhere in scales and fangs she’d collected still with no luck.

“Hey I’m sure next time we’ll get it! You’re still the goodest of boys ok! We’re gonna make dad proud together, so that when he comes back he’s gonna be blown away by how good of a duo we are!”

She was so alight with passion, and energy as she clenched her fist in determination Drake gave an excited yip to hide the pain in his heart. He knew her dad wasn’t coming back. While she slept he’d been sneaking about hearing what their mother said, how she lied about everything, and how she’d changed things to hide from their father. Even changing the child’s name to Karen. In Karen’s mind this would solve it, getting the first dragon eeveelution would be so impressive her dad had to come back. When the truth was, he couldn’t.

Maybe though if he could do it, maybe he’d see that innocent smile again, and help her like he was supposed to.

Not such a stupid child

“I think you should use Trick for this.”

The old man encouraged handing her a pokeball that twitched with the violent spirit of the murkrow inside. Drake didn’t like that pokemon, no one on the team liked that pokemon. Something was wrong with him. There was almost no thought to the bird besides violence as even it’s words to their ears sounded garbled and overall manic. Stepping in front of his trainer out if instinct he saw the man meet eyes with him. There was a stare that was clearly an invitation to step down, but Drake didn’t move. He didn’t want that pokemon to hurt his human again, or tear his blue bandana like it had before.

“You said use our best sir, and well I’m best at fighting with Drake.”

Karen explained wary in tone when talking to only this figure of authority. Pryce paused at those words finally pulling his eyes from the pokemon to whom he dubbed as his child. She had her hands back at attention having been learning the stance for some time now. !3 currently, and she had the proper protocols down flat.

“Hm, that is true. I do think that if you desire the advantage a murkrow would help with it’s flight.”

“I am aware although Drake and I have found work arounds before, and I have found practicing outside the box ideas helps me in proper missions.”

“Always so helpful, I appreciate it child....I suppose I’m just hurt.”

“Uh...I’m sorry sir, c-can I ask how?”

She asked nervously watching the way he slouched back often before digging into her.

“Well you always choose Drake, the one your father gave you. I’m your father now Karen, so why don’t you love me?”

It wasn’t like that! Drake wanted to shout feeling a growl desperately want to escape, but he swallowed it down knowing she’d be hurt for it. Immediately he felt her thoughts swim. There was panic rising as she registered Pryce could be angry, she had to stop him from being angry at her otherwise she wouldn’t have a family again. That was what she told Drake late at night when they were alone, and now she was in a tizzy as he questioned her loyalty.

“No I do! You’re the best dad I’ve ever had, I-I’m sorry to hurt you sir. Um, I just uh like Drake-”

“Karen, child, calm yourself. I understand, but you really should let go. Your dad left you, I have provided for you like a true father, and it hurts to think about him. Now I have an idea let’s have you get more used to trick ok, and maybe we can eventually phase Drake out. Help you forget about him.

He encouraged handing her the twitching pokeball again. It was new, Drake noticed. He and Karen both saw the inscription on the bottom, freshly engraved,’To my daughter from her father-Masked Man’. So it was new, and this man wanted to replace him! That growl finally escaped. Which lead to Karen scooping him up.

“.....No. I don’t want to forget him, becuase it helps me appreciate you more, and....It’s not Drake’s fault he left. He’s as hurt by it as I am.”

She then took the pokeball holding it as close to her as she held him.

“I’m going to go train with them now, and show I love you.”

Without waiting for an answer, despite the danger in that she turned to take off down the hall with them both. Drake feeling how quickly her heart was beating in fear. He needed to protect her better.

Seperation in a Storm

Everything went wrong.

The whole mission was an utter bust in every way. He didn’t know why, or how due to the panic brough ton by the storm, and he didn’t care. All the wanted was Karen back. They’d been seperated during the escape attempt. He’d been running to her when Lugia suddenly had an outburst, and she was whisked away leaving the eevee standing there as growlithe could be heard yipping behind him. After that he just ran, and ran, and ran, and his feet hurt. They hurt so much. The lighting and thunder wouldn’t stop crashing around him, and any cry he made was deafened by their outbursts. He kept her safe. He made sure to keep everyone busy while she got away, and she waited for him as long as she could. He heard her yelling as the take off happened. A blinding strike of lighting kept him from seeing what happened, but he heard her yelling for a moment, and now it haunted him. Another roll of thunder from directly overhead was the breaking point.

He tripped from fright, and tumbled into some gully washed creek. The current was strong in the pouring rain unfortunately, and with all his fur the water felt so much heavier. His lungs already ached from breathing while running at top speed not to mention his bleeding paw pads from running so hard. The fight he put up was pathetic in every way. It didn’t even feel worth it as he knew he’d likely never find his girl again, so he just gave up.

He wished the fall was peaceful. He wished he could of splashed into something still to accept fate, but with the crashing of the waters from the overload of rain his body was tossed about left to right till even if he wanted to swim he couldn’t tell what direction up was. When he crashed into something he hoped it knocked him out. The crash was a hard one, but hit his back though meaning not knocked out yet. Or ever, as he soon found out feeling teeth, claws, and a hand grab his scruff. Was this death? Was it not cold? He wondered suddenly with a heave pulled from the water, and thrown on shore. What was happening? He wondered too weak and dazed to lift his head. Thankfully he didn’t have to as he was pulled into a familiar embrace.

The same heart beat he’d come to know was up against his hear again as even over the storm he heard sobbing. A houndour wrapped around one side, as a murkrow perched on the girl’s shoulders, and an gloom hopped in her lap to help warm him. She could hardly make a word through her sobbing, but he knew what she wanted. She wanted him to be ok. He was ok, he was now.

A tiny paw went up like it had often before, and batted her nose causing her tears to hitch a moment looking down to find little black eyes blinking at her. The sobs of sorrow became joyous realizing he was ok, and despite everything he felt...warm, tingling even as he looked down at himself realizing a dull glow was starting.

Wait was he? Then it happened. Everything quickly glowed bright, and he felt everywhere grow or shape. He wasn’t sure what Karen did too occupied with the sudden changes to his body, but she wasn’t stopping it. He saw it happen to her oddish, evolution, but they never gave a good description of the feeling. He was acutely aware of two things during it, how much Karen loved him, and the stillness of the moon above thew storming clouds. When it finally stopped he looked down at his body to see dark fur, and that his bandana fit far looser than before.

That was when it dawned on him that he’d become...an umbreon. Not a dragon eeveelution like they’d tried so hard to create. Just a pokemon her mother would deem a bad omen. He knew Karen loved him before, he felt that, but now....he failed her again. The crack of thunder brought him back as he looked to Karen instinctively going for comfort only to immediately receive it by being help in her arms. She didn’t care what he was, she loved him, and all night he let his rings glow to give her comfort till Will could help Pryce find her the next morning.

#drake saga #tw: child abuse #tw: mental abuse #tw: emotional abuse #drabble #drake is goodest boi #(also pryce def told her lugia acted out when he definitely called lugia to fly trying to leave drake behind)

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #276

“all the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, outrun my gun.”

Favorite dried fruit? Dried fruit is fucking disgusting. Would you rather wear a dress or a suit on your wedding day? A dress. If you chose dress, will it be long or short? I prefer longer wedding dresses. If you chose suit, will you wear a bow or a tie? Hypothetically I’d wear a tie, probably. Have you ever wanted to be a police officer? No. Do you have a nut allergy? No. Do you accessories with chains? Put chains on fucking EVERYTHING and it is an improvement. How often do you cook dinner? If you’re excluding the microwave, like… never. What have you given up on recently? Nothing important; the only thing I can think of applies to a game. I was after the way-too-fucking-expensive dinosaur mount that is very soon going away in World of Warcraft, but the stress it was causing me wasn’t worth it. The time investment and how it was only a “maybe” of getting it in time Favorite condiment for fries? Ketchup. Ever had bangs? I did as a little kid. Do you know any Italian people? Well yeah, people of Italian descent are common in the U.S. I don’t know like, someone straight from Italy though. Have you ever dated someone LGBTQ+? Yeah, a demisexual. What color would you like your future bathroom to be? Uh… I don’t really care. It would depend on the house. Do you add sugar to plain cornflakes? No. Are skeletons cool? Skellyboiz are dope. Favorite Selena Gomez song? I don’t know any. Do you like coffee flavored cake? I don’t like coffee, so guess. Is that even a thing, though? Do you still watch your favorite kid shows/cartoons? I don’t watch TV. I would though, sure. Do you like going on walks? What's your favorite thing about them? How far do you normally walk? Ugh this question is gonna be embarrassing considering I went through muscle atrophy in my legs from being so sedentary. When we move (HOPEFULLY the start of October, a wrench was kinda thrown in our plans), I intend to absolutely start walking in small intervals now that we’ll be in a nice little neighborhood with a sidewalk. And a PokeStop nearby to bait me lmfao. Plus the weather will be cooler, so I intend to make a lot of progress. BUT ANYWAY I like just listening to either music or the sounds of what’s going on around me. Last time you had a hot drink? That’s a good question. Idk. Have you ever lived in a city? Was it crowded? Never like… a “real” city. Just small towns or in the middle of nowhere. Would you prefer to live in a big city or the woods? THE WOODS!!!!!!1 THE WOODS!!!!!1!!!!1111!! GIMME THAT SHIT!!!!!!11!11!!!! Have you ever climbed a mountain? No. Do you hear owls or crickets at night where you live? LOADS of crickets and toads during the summer. Ever run away from home? When I was a stupid pre-teen. I was mad at my mom and she wasn’t home, so I took Teddy and left. I had my phone though and Mom – when she got home – threatened to call the cops, so yeah, I came back. Are you scared to ride public transport alone? Why? No. Is marriage on your mind? No time soon. Did you own a dollhouse when you were younger? I didn’t, per se, but my younger sister did, and we would play together. Does the room you're in have a tiled floor? No, it’s carpet. How many pairs of earrings do you own? Not that many, not too few. Are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend? I’ve never thought *looking* was a good idea, so no. I think bonds of any kind need to come naturally to avoid lack of genuineness, force, or rush. I don’t think me having an s/o is a smart idea right now anyway. Do you prefer a call or a text? Don’t call me unless you’re dying or something. Do your parents drink coffee every morning? Mom almost always does. I don’t live with Dad, so idk. Have you ever donated blood? Yes. One song that's meaningful to you? UM a LOT. Most meaningful, probably “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin. I physically can’t listen to it. Like I refuse to. Are you addicted to anything? Technology, big oof energy. What were you last listening to in the car? Something on my iPod, idk. When was the last time you sang out loud? I don’t recall. I rarely sing. What did you have for breakfast? A microwaveable sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. Mom is currently out of state with her mother because she’s literally on her deathbed, so she STOCKED ME THE FUCK UP on groceries. The freezer is literally jam-packed, so I’m focusing on eating food from there. Did you have a nap today? Yes. I almost never, ever make it through the day without one, especially now with having nightmares every fucking time I sleep. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, not my first name, anyway. “Marie” is a middle name theme in my family, though. What kind of music do you like? Metal, rock, alternative, indie… stuff like that. What’s one hobby that you’d like to take up? Ugh, I miss a LOT of my old hobbies. I’ve lost interest in so much. I wish I drew way more than I do, which is almost never. What did you think you wanted to be when you grew up? The first job I ever wanted was a paleontologist. I was obsessed with dinosaurs. Still love ‘em. What’s the biggest project on your to-do list right now? It’d be great if I could finish designing Ashley’s cancer tattoo, but again, yeah, drawing motivation. ;_; If you weren’t in your current job, what would you want to be doing? I’m unemployed. Is the last person you kissed older than you? No. Are you happy right now? No. Haven’t been “happy” for a while now. Who makes you happiest right now? Probably my cat tbh lol. Especially being home alone for so long, he’s keeping me company. In school did/do people put a label on you? If so, what is/was it? I was considered one of the “emo” kids. Do you laugh every day? lol wow no. What is the last thing you laughed at? This Spongebob meme I saw on Facebook got me fuckin good. Have you cried today? If so, why? Nah. When was the last time someone saw you naked? Been a long time; even when I’m going in or coming out of the shower I do all I can for Mom to not see me because I hate my body a fucking lot. What is the greatest loss you've endured? My first boyfriend. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? WOW I do this like every fuckin day, fam. What was the last thing you lied about? I’m not sure. What type of a drunk are you? Never gotten to the point of drunk, but I was more talkative the closest I got. What is your philosophy on life/how do you generally choose to live or conduct yourself? What a big question. I personally think you should do all you can to make a positive impact on the world – make it better than when you entered. Don’t contribute to the bad, treat people how you want to be treated… all that jazz. When was the last time you were up all night and why? I can’t remember quite why, but I remember doing that with WoW some time ago. Idr what I was doing that had my attention that long, though. That’s rare now. What is the worst thing you've done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? Part one: hand over all of my worth to someone else. Part two: show me exactly why I shouldn’t have in a very unhealthy way. What is the most personal thing you're willing to reveal? I dunno??? Can ya give me a topic?? Is there a situation or person you haven't been able to get over/forgive/what have you? I honestly doubt I’ll ever be entirely over Jason. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? Probably Mom, and idr. Doubt it. Just probably raised my voice. Where did your last injury come from? My cat, rip. What is the worst thing you have said to another person? Something along the lines of “thanks for sending me to the ER (or mental hospital?) again.” Fucking disgusting. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Without fail, always. Please wear your seatbelt. Are you scared of flying? Not really. What do you sleep in? Men’s pj pants and tank tops. Who was the last person you kissed? Sara. What are you listening to? I am fucking HOOKED on 3TEETH's cover of "Pumped Up Kicks." Do you prefer soupy noodles or noodles without the broth? Without. Have you ever missed someone but felt like they had other friends and didn't miss you as much as you did? This. Is the story of my motherfuckin life. I feel this all the time to a very deep level. Who, out of all your friends, do you hang with the most and could never get tired of him/her? Sara. Do you like the taste of white chocolate or does it taste kind of fake? Nooot a white chocolate fan. Too sweet. How would you react if you just found out your mom had an abortion before? I would be VERY surprised just given who she is and her adoration for children. Are your pets spayed/neutered? Yes. Hottest guy you know and actually talk to? I don’t regularly talk to any guy I consider “hot,” but the closest to that would be my friend Leon, whom I’ve always seen as very attractive. It is fucking UNCANNY, his resemblance to Leon Kennedy from the Resident Evil series. Like he’s dressed as him before and it is astonishing. Name sharing is a coincidence, too. What time of day do you like to shower? I don’t have a favored time anymore. I just do it when I feel like it at some point during the day, but pretty much never night anymore. I do think starting the morning with one though is great, though. When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? Fries are almost guaranteed, but of course it depends on the type of food, too. What do you spend more money than necessary on? I don’t and never have had a stable source of income to answer this, really. What video game or computer game are you best at? Uhhh I’d probably be rusty with the Shadow of the Colossus controls by now, I’ve don’t have the maps or every puzzles memorized from the Silent Hill games, so I guess my answer’s World of Warcraft if I’m on my hunter. Not to flex but I’m a bomb-ass beast mastery hunter. Been my main in the game since I started in MoP. What do you keep your keys on? They’re in my purse on a keychain. Is your favorite color different than your favorite color to wear? Oh yeah. Do you buy books or get them from the library? Buy them. What section of the food pyramid do you neglect the most? Veggies for sure. What do you use your stovetop for most? Well, I don’t ever. Can you focus on studying if there's music on? No, I need silence. In what types of situations do you demand absolute silence? Well, see the above answer, for one. Also going to sleep. Well, maybe not, as I have a fan as kinda like white noise, but I can sleep without it. Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? I didn’t score bad, but I wasn’t exceptional either. Do you own more shoes or less shoes than the average person? Less, I’m sure. Do you still have anything from when you were a baby? Yeah, up in the attic. I think my mom has some stuff that’s super important to her in a case somewhere. Do you use hairspray much? I never do. Are art museums interesting or boring to you? I enjoy them. What subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? Well, this is a difficult question to answer when you consider I think depending on your career focus as well as personal values and interests, this answer changes from person to person. Like for me, I could say I don’t give a shit about complex math, but advanced math courses would be valued by certain people down specific paths. But anyway, I’ll bite and say least necessary for *the most* people, in my opinion anyway. Gym. It’s very discriminatory towards people with more limited physical capabilities (and I don’t just mean literally disabled), and it’s also just very uncomfortable and/or embarrassing to some people. Like I’d fuckin cry if in my current state, I was forced to “run” a mile, because I physically couldn’t come even close. A person, a younger one especially, should never be subjected to humiliation at the hands of a class schools deem “necessary” when it absolutely is not. Okay I’m in a talkative mood and this is turning into an essay so I’mma move along now. When you were a kid, what games did you always play on the playground? I think for as long as I had recess, my go-to was ALWAYS the swings. I fucking loved swingsets. I loved playing 4 Square or whatever it was called. And then of course there was me digging tunnels in the sandboxes because I wanted to feel like a meerkat lmfao. Do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? For some reason, I still have this childlike excitement *early* into a power outage. Especially when it’s dark and we have to get out the candles, and I might play my old GameBoy or Nintendo DS, or I’ll probably just chill talking with Mom. However, that phase is pretty short nowadays, being a snake mama. My mind very quickly goes back to “Venus needs her lamp,” so as time passes, I get more anxious than annoyed. Basically, I’d rather not have one. Do you know how to use an ATM? … no lmao How about write a check? No. Are you pretty politically correct? To a degree I consider reasonable. Personally I find political correctness as having gone too far by now, but it’s certainly appropriate in some instances. What is one fashion trend you'll never understand? I… don’t really care to think much on this. Wear what makes you feel confident in yourself. There are things I think don’t look good, but they may look great to you, and it’s on your body, so guess whose opinion matters. What do you wear when you exercise? Oh yeesh. Just sweatpants and a tank top, normally. What is usually the last thing you do before you go to bed? I turn the brightness on my phone waaay down. I’m always going to wake up throughout the night and check the time, but I don’t want to be blinded.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire

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san--shine · 5 years

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My fansign experience (10.04.2019)

Soooo after 2 months here finally comes my fansign experience. I will try to keep it short but still it will be way to long so I will place it under the cut after Hongjoong. I hope I don’t make anyone sad or something and it can make you smile a bit maybe~

Hongjoong

When I came up to him and told him that I am nervous he instantly told me not to be nervous and tried to make me laugh. When I asked him why he said that I am cute when I laught. He then proceed to laugh with me about my post-it question which was telling me the mental ages of the members. Afterwards we still had time since Seonghwa was still busy so I let him guess my age. He asked if he should guess in korean or german age and I told him that he could decide and he decided on german age. He then leaned back and proceed to drag his gaze up and down until he settled on my eyes. And guess what. He said 23 which is kinda right since I tun 23 later this year. We were both so surprised since normally noone guesses my age right and he was surprised probably that he got it right and that I am older than them ^^

For the general vibes he gave me during the fansign: He has such a calm and funny vibe. He was nervous, you could tell, but he was always sure of himself and about what he was saying to you. Truly the perfect leader who did everything he could to calm you down or make you laugh depending on what he thought would help you more ~

Seonghwa

Let me give you something of his trained english: “HI, oh you bought shiber with you. How are you.” ... “Nervous? Me too, so nervous.” He leaned so close while we were talking. His post-it question was about his favorite korean food. And he asked me if I have ever eaten Ramen in the end and I was like “Yeah yesterday before the concert.” He was so surprised, happy and excited and was telling me that he actually ate ramen 10 minutes before the fansign and that I shouldn’t tell anyone ^^ In the end he gave Shiber a pat and said that I should come to Korea to eat with him. Poor baby was wearing so much make up tho.

Seonghwa has such a calming vibe. Like, I literally thought I would freak out while sitting in front of him. But he hold eye contact all the time and let me tell you, you could see his eyes shining with happiness. He was so happy and it managed to calm me down instantly. I don't know how often he told me how nervous he is too. It makes you feel so much better knowing that they were struggling with nervousness too.

Yunho

The first thing after he read my name was saying how muched he loves my name. He also loved that I am becoming a teacher. Though he guessed that I'm a English teacher since my english was so good. When I tried to explain him what I am studying he was struggling to understand what I mean with the word math but he understood biology. After he read my post-it note (where I asked him to write down some encouraging words for studying) he asked me why. So I told him that I was struggling with university and was scared to actually fail it in the end. Yunho said that I should always study hard and that whenever I feel that it gets to much that I should know that he will think about me. I told him that he is cute when I got up to get to Yeosang and he got so shy ~

Yunho gives the BIGGEST boyfriend vibes! Idk. It's so hard to describe actualy. But he was so curious about my studying and teaching. And I think he kinda felt bad that he didn't understood a word, but hyped me up anyway. I got the feeling that you could tell him everything and anything and he would listen to you! He always looked to endluged in whatever atiny was telling him. If you ever need someone to just listen to your rambles and then tell you that everything will be alright you will love him!

Yeosang

He. Is. So. Cute. And.. he didn't shave^^ He had so much make up on his face trying to conceal it but you could see it clearly. It was so adorable. And he was wearing blue contact lenses. Oof. I asked him to sort all member into Hogwarts Houses (because I knew from a gc beforehand that Yunho would get that question like 3 times already) and he was so eager to do it. He struggled with some word but I had written the house names in the original colors so that helped him. Actually he asked me to help him sort after a while and it was so much fun (San was watching me while doing it because he was bored but I will scream about it later). It was especially funn when we had written down 7 members and we both were looking down left and right wondering who we forgot to sort (it was Jongho btw) :D

Yeosangs vibes are just.. He is so cute. The cutest. You could actually see in his eyes how nervous he was, but he tried his best to talk to you. His english might be broken but he was so sweet trying so hard to make you understand what he was saying. He used up so much time talking to Atiny, the staff in the back almost always tapped him on his shoulder and saying that he was taking too long. And he gave me and others such a good and calming vibe because of it. Like a rock in a waterstream or something. If I ever had a problem I would go to him and he would just hold me and tell me it's fine.

San

OMG San. First of all, before I even got a chance to meet him, he- ugh. Let me tell you something. I was sitting first row, number 17, when I had to get up to start getting in line he still had no one sitting in front of him. So he saw me picking up Shiber and getting in line (I didn’t saw that). A bit later when I was waiting in line I watched the members one by one because I felt like somebody was watching me. San.. He was starring at me. Because he saw me waiting there with a Shiber plushie. When we locked eyes he made a sign like “I am watching you, just you wait until you get here” and was smiling so brightly. When he had to look away because atiny sat in front of him I broke down. I actually found myself sitting on the floor you can’t fcking believe!

Okay so when it was my turn to talk to him he was waiting for me (Later in pictures and videos I could see that he actually really was waiting. He looked at me and even had the fcking decency to tilt his head and everyone says his eyes screamed “cute” while he was watching me talking and discussing with Yeosang). The first thing he did was scolding Shiber: "Hey Shiber. What are you doing? You are supposed to be in my bed! What are you doing in her lap, hmm?" It was so funny but I got a bit defencive I guess because I answered: "he's here to protect me because I'm nervous" He just looked up to me and smiled?!! And then to Shiber again: "Good Shiber. From no on you protect her and make her smile for me yeah?" I DIED. When he looked down to write in the album he had his hand open on the table for me to hold it, like an open gesture, but I was so shy. I took it tho after a short while and he smiled and HAD THE FCKINGASLJHDFALSJD sorry.. he pulled his fingers in so my hand was touching him more (what freaking fanfiction is this). And actually, it helped so much to calm me down. He wasn't surprised at all about the kkt groupchat I am in and he was happy about it translating everything he wrote down so I could tell them in the groupchat how much he appreciates them. I had a second question prepared, because I am selfish like that where I basically told him that he is the dimple kind and if I could be his dimple queen (since I have dimplse too) San just smiled and said that I can be his queen ~ He high fived me, smiling down at our hands and even continues talking to me while I was already sitting in front of Mingi (I’m sorry Mingi sweetheart).

Now his vibes: Like.. oof. You just sit in front of him and get all kind of different vibes from him at once. Cute. Handsome. Maybe even get a bit scared if he comes to close. Boyfriend. Soft. Respect. But his voice is so soft, it makes you feel all kind of things. And he respects you so much. Like, the others hold their hands up so you can touch and high five them and he just hold his on the table in front of me (I actually didn’t saw him doing it for anyone else) and let me choose if I wanted to hold hands or not. Such a happy vibe

Mingi

Mingi sunshine I’m so sorry again ^^. But still so much fun honestly. The first thing he did was greeting Shiber and then got cut of by San because he still wanted to talk to me (I’m so sorry Mingi, I couldn’t help myself. How should I say no to San?!) While San and I were talking he signed my album silently. He was so glad that I translated the question and wrote it down in english and korean (my question for him was to list his 3 favorite things to do in his spare time). He was so happy about his question and so he wrote down his answers way to fast. And then he tried to translate them for me (Eat, listening to music, going to the sauna). He asked me which ateez concept of the album I like more the red or the black one. I said black and he was surprised and tried defending the red side ^^

He has such little lost baby kitten vibes. Mingi has so much energy in him and you could see he wanted to just run around. Especially in the end it seems to get really hard for him to just sit still. He was so active he even managed to knock over his water bottle while talking to one of the first atinys xD

Wooyoung

My baby Wooyoung. He was so nervous and looked so scared and insecure. I just wanted to hug him, but of course I wasn’t allowed. When he read my name he was confused because I wrote it normally and in korean. But instead of a “j” I used an “i” in the korean version because it sounds like an i if you pronouce it. I tried to explain to him why I wrote it like this, but I don’t think he understood. While he was signing he started to sing to one of the songs playing in the background but stopped when I joined quietly. I felt so betrayed ^^ He smiled about the question (I asked him what I could do to make him happy) He didn’t translate what he wrote down and I needed 2 weeks to get it translated (work on your fcking handwriting woo baby) Sadly we didn’t talk at all while he was writing. Of course I don’t know the reason for it. I actually think it was because I was one of the first and he was still too nervous, because I saw him smiling and opening up more and more while the fansign went on. When he gave me a high five he intertwined our fingers and said he is happy just like this. I told him that he is cute especially when he smiles and that he is loved by me and Atiny. He got so shy and said thank you ~

Wooyoung was so shy. You know how he always acts so confident, but he is such a shy bean and insecure. And he is pure. So we two were actually just two shy beans sitting in front of each other that didn’t know what to do. But he still has much more confidence than I do. The bit we talked were all initiated by him ^^

Jongho

Jongho is so precious. And he just basically overflows with confidence. I was a wreck when I finally came to him but he was so nice and understandable. His english is really good and you could see that he knows what effect he had. His post-it not was to rank his members from the funniest to the lamest. He started but then decided he want my opinion too. So we sorted them together when he struggled with deciding who was funnier. He smiled so much at me and holds deep eye contact while talking actually. We laughed together about his hippo head and the choices he made on the post-it. When I needed to get up he told me I was cute (this btch). I told him he was cute too and he didn't believe me (maybe because of the hippopotamus head). Since he was sitting in front of me we had some cute moments when he was bored. Looking and smiling at me, encouraging me to take pictures of him

Jongho gives really down to earth vibes. He was so calm. Sure he was confident but he was bubbling with energy and happines you could see in his eyes how he was containing himself. And the respect he gives you. I was red as a tomato when I finally reached him (I saw that on video, so no one can tell me otherwise), but he talked normally with me ignoring my internal struggles. He only broke when I told him that he's cute :D

Final words

This fansign was THE best day in my life so far.

If you ever get the chance to meet them or you are struggling to decide if you wanna try to see them just do it. Its worth the stress and the money and your time. (The fansign actually cost me less than the concert ^^)

They ruined my biaslist those 2 days completly. Yunho at the concert and everyone else at the fansign. San is still on top and will forever stay there tho.

I hope you had fun reading my little rant ~<3

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imacrowcawcaw · 5 years

Text

These Dreams (Sanny) 1/3

*Just realized that this is super long and the formatting is a mess so I'm breaking it into three and cleaning it up*

Title: These Dreams

Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Wattpad and Deviantart, Tumblr - imacrowcawcaw

Fandom: Greta Van Fleet

Pairing: Danny Wagner/Sam Kiszka, Josh Kiszka/Jake Kiszka at the end

Warnings/Tags: first time, first kiss, smut, frontage, grinding, fluff, attempted humor, discussions of underage attraction

Summary: *No actual underage sex graphically depicted, but it's talked about*

*twincest at the very end*

"'You're telling me that we've known each other, been near inseparable, since seventh grade, and you've never once thought about it? At all? You've had to have thought about giving guys a try at least once, everyone questions their sexuality." Sammy gave him a shit eating grin. He scooted even closer to Danny, so that their knees touched and their noses weren't more than half a foot apart. Danny stopped laughing.'

Author's Notes: Sammy seems to be the instigator in most things, and Danny always seems to be secretly in love (in my stories), but I like it like that lol.

God I finished this at midnight lol

For Helena and everyone else who needs gvf content down deep in their soul like I do

Sorry, it's kinda dialogue heavy

Singing along to Fleetwood Mac gave me the title

*I am marking this as underage because there is discussion of attractions and fantasies while they were underage, masturbation, losing virginity while under 18. But there is no graphic underage sex actually written, both boys are at like 20 or nearly 20 (today era) where I place this. (Also will not be posted on Rockfic because I've made that mistake once before and I respect their rules and the reasons behind them)

-----------------------

"What if we fucked?"

Danny let his head roll to the side on his pillow so he could eye Sam.

"What?"

"I dunno, it was just a random idea. Like, don't you think it would be kinda fun?"

Danny stared at him, confusion and amusement mingling on his face. This wasn't the weirdest thing Sam had said in, hell, the last half an hour? But, still, the hypothetic had Danny's attention simply because the idea was something he never really thought about - or, at least, never thought would ever happen. A boy had wet dreams and fantasies, they weren't always things he would actually act on.

"I've never thought about it."

Just not gonna mention those dreams. Or the one time he jacked off while sharing a bed with Sam, nose breathing in the scent of his hair and eyes roaming his best friend's sleeping backside. That never happened, okay?

"Really, like never?"

Sam actually looked surprised. He had?

"You're telling me that we've known each other, been near inseparable, since seventh grade, and you've never once thought about it? At all? You've had to have thought about giving guys a try at least once, everyone questions their sexuality."

"Well- I mean..."

To come clean or to not come clean, that was the question in Danny's mind. Sammy seemed totally cool with the idea, though, so it probably wouldn't do him any harm to admit it. Unless this was a prank? Nah, Sam loved jokes but this wasn't his style. He would never pick on someone for something like this, he much preferred messing with Danny in other ways.

"Fine, yeah, I've thought about it. Had a really intense dream in like, eighth, that freaked me out for a while. Didn't know how to deal with it then, ya know?"

"See, I knew it! Everyone thinks about it! What was your dream about?"

Sam bounced on the bed like an excited puppy - which, he was. A cute, fluffy, yapping ball of energy with too big feet who got super excited whenever he met new people, that was Sammy. How could Danny not love him?

"Do you really wanna hear about this?"

He had to know, just to make double sure, that Sam wasn't pulling his leg.

"Yes, I do! It's interesting to think about. And - if you tell me about your's, I'll tell you about mine?"

"Wait, your dream? What? When? How much have you thought about this? Like, being with a guy, or with me? How come you've never said anything?!"

Why was this the first time he'd heard about this? Sam was usually very vocal about everything he was thinking, at least when in private with his brothers and Danny.

Though, he guessed he knew why: it was the same reason he'd never really mentioned his own dreams and ponderings to Sam.

"Well, how come *you've* never said anything?" Sam countered. "And I'll tell you what I've thought about, but later; I wanna hear hear about this dream that freaked you out so bad. What could it have even been?"

"Mr. Oakenstein."

"WHAT?!"

Danny was cracking up at Sam's face, he looked like he'd just been told that Gibson was going out of business or something.

"Please tell me you're joking!" Sam begged. Poor boy, Danny should put him out of his misery.

"Of course I'm joking, doofus! God - Mr. Oakenstein? He was at least seventy five when we took bio! There's no way that - if I liked guys - I'd be into him. He's so wrinkly and hunched and- and *jowly*."

They both shuddered. Mr. Oakenstein's name brought back unpleasant memories of weekly chapter tests (how was it even possible to go through a book that fast?) and frog electrocution, not to mention the mental image of his sagging, jiggly face.

"Would he have even been able to get it up? Like, how long does Viagra take to kick in? You'd just have to lay there waiting and looking at him - which, ugh. That would be a nightmare, not a dream."

"Yeah," Danny agreed, still giggling a little bit, "I didn't dream about him, but it definitely would have freaked me out more if I had. Hey, you still think Miss Marcie is hot?"

Danny was procrastinating, they both knew it, but this was always a fun conversation to have.

"Always, dude. I still remember with, like, perfect clarity the time she had me come in during lunch to go over my test. I looked up and she was *right there* leaning over me reading what I was doing, and I could kind of see up her shirt... man, I was so distracted the rest of the day."

Sam sounded dreamy, lost in his memories of a hot tenth grade teacher.

"I remember that day! You were so distracted after school on the way home, you nearly drove us into a lake. And at band practice you kept messing up, Joshie nearly strangled you with his mic cord."

"Yeah! Man, I was so hard, I couldn't fucking concentrate on anything else except for trying not to cum right then and there. As soon as we called it quits for the day I was in the bathroom; and of course Jake knew what was up and wouldn't stop ribbing me about it the rest of the night."

"Damn, that bad? I mean, she was hot but she wasn't, like, *amazing*, was she?"

"You might not think so, but Miss Marcie is always gonna have a place in my heart. And the spank bank," Sam sighed. They both snickered.

"Well, what about you, hmm?" He asked. "If you didn't like Mr. Goldenstein, then who? Everyone gets hot for teacher."

Sam hummed the lyrics to the classic for a minute, Danny filling in the guitar parts. Neither of them listened to Van Halen that much, but how could you not know that song?

After a little drum solo on his thigh while Sam progressed into increasingly southern banjo sounding guitar noises, Danny stopped and answered.

"I agree, Ms. Marcelina was really hot, but she had NOTHING on Mrs. Bell. Do you remember that red dress she uses to wear?"

"Of course I do! The economy of the United States has never been so interesting!"

Danny snorted. "Dude, you never gave a shit about econ, you just liked to stare at her. Which, okay, I did too. She made that class bareable."

"I'd say she made it a bit more than bareable. And yeah, that red dress was something else,"

Sam rolled onto his side.

"Hey, what if Mr. Goldstein wore a red cocktail dress. Would you go for him then?"

Sam laughed when Danny shoved at his shoulder, shaking with amusement and disgust at the thought.

"You know, I've never entertained that thought, but I am SO glad you brought it to my attention. I'll never be able to *stop thinking about it* now, Samuel."

Sammy gave him a shit eating grin. He scooted even closer to Danny, so that their knees touched and their noses weren't more than half a foot apart. Danny stopped laughing.

Part 2

#Greta Van fleet #gvf #gvf fic #gvf slash #Danny Wagner #Sam Kiszka #Sanny #fluff #smut #humor #first time #kissing #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #lulucrowproductions #fics

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hvlfwygod · 4 years

Text

dreamland | patrick & reno

summary: a restless night with too much remembering. whiskey, cigarettes, and sleeping pills help to smooth it over.

It happened again. Patrick woke with a sudden jolt from yet another nightmare, his heart slamming in his chest like this was still the first time it had ever happened. Though he awoke in a shroud of fear, the feeling quickly dissolved as he got his bearings back. Patrick was in Reno’s bed (and this was the third time a bad dream had slammed him awake, how embarrassing). He was fine, totally out of danger. “Fuck me,” he grumbled, tossing his head back on the pillow. At this point, a monster waiting at the foot of the bed was preferable. He could tell without checking that Reno was awake, too. If he wasn’t so mortified, he might have even felt bad about that, instead of resenting him for it. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” he asked the darkness as he pushed his hands to his eyes.

Although he still jolted up every time Patrick startled awake, Reno managed to keep himself from leaping off the mattress after the first few times. He sat up, instead, and turned to watch Patrick. His eyes glinted, reflecting light like a cat's as they adjusted quickly to see through the darkness. Waking up with his heart pounding was starting to get annoying, especially when he was more sober every time he opened his eyes. "Get up and do a lap." Reno stretched his arms behind his back with an audible crack from his shoulders, accepting now that he was going to be awake for the rest of the night. "Clear your head."

He didn’t want to get up and do a lap. Patrick wanted to go the fuck to sleep, and tell Reno to stop telling him what to do. But he knew that sleep was only going to result in another spiral out of control until he woke up terrified once again. And telling Reno off took energy he didn’t have right now. So, begrudgingly, Patrick rolled off of the mattress and got out of bed. He avoided eye contact and dragged his hand down his face. “Ugh. Fuck. This shouldn’t be possible— Can we just go downstairs? I know you’re not going back to sleep.”

Reno stared down Patrick until he finished speaking, at which point he climbed to his feet. "Yeah." His eyes darted to the side, into his rafters where his main altar was, but he turned away from it, pulled the blanket off his mattress, and headed down the stairs without another word. Yawning as he reached the bottom step, he cast a tired glance over to the lamp beside the couch and the bulb flickered to life. Even with the blanket around his shoulders a chill cut through the air. He headed over to the stove and laid a hand on the outside of the kettle to start the water boiling.

A surge of annoyance rolled over Patrick as Reno turned and walked away. What did he have to be upset about? Feeling defensive and put-off, Patrick waited several seconds before following. He only went as far as the couch, not accompanying Reno into the kitchen. Though, he did end up taking the advice and walking around in a wide circle. It helped him calm down just enough to stop his emotional state from tipping into outright anger. Sighing, more annoyed with himself now than anything else, he curled up on the couch and waited for Reno to join him there.

The water was boiling within half a minute and Reno took his time pouring the hot water into a mug. He turned and looked Patrick over for a second, gauging his mood, before walking forward to take a seat on the floor beside Patrick's legs. He raised the cup of hot water until he could feel the steam on his chin and pulled the blanket closed around himself. Unblinking, he watched Patrick over the rim of the mug, gaze weary but uncharacteristically clear.

Patrick could almost feel the stare, and shifted uncomfortably underneath it. He searched for something to say that wasn’t him complaining about his powers abandoning him, but nothing else came to mind. Eventually, he risked returning Reno’s prolonged gaze. The glow-in-the-dark eyes still sent shivers down Patrick’s back, but he leaned over anyway. “This is fucking annoying, huh?” He pressed his palm to Reno’s forehead, for no particular reason. “Or do you find it funny? Keeps you guessing, at least.”

Reno closed his eyes when Patrick touched his forehead and tipped forward, resting some weight against Patrick's hand for a couple seconds before folding his arms on the couch beside him. "Ha ha," he said plainly, lifting his head to look at Patrick again. "So what's up, you can't control your nightmares?"

The fake laugh made Patrick frown, and the question made him scowl. He sat back on the couch with a loud groan. “Guess not,” he grumbled. “I don’t know what’s happening. It’s like everything just shut off. I try to change anything and I get stuck in—“ he waved his hand— “it doesn’t matter. But I can’t make anything happen differently.”

Reno's head tilted to the side as he listened, expression unchanging. "In your own dreams, or other people's too?"

After a long pause, Patrick finally answered. “Both.” He suddenly felt cold, too, and crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t even think I can dream walk right now. It fucking sucks.”

“Yikes.” Reno pressed his cheek into his shoulder, watching Patrick through his eyelashes. “What changed?”

Patrick could feel himself getting angry again. “If I knew,” he said slowly, “I’d fix it. And we wouldn’t be sitting here at three in the morning.”

Reno’s eyes narrowed as he now picked up on Patrick’s tone. He leaned back slowly, taking a sip of his hot water before putting it down on the ground. He pushed himself up to sit on the couch beside Patrick, huddled under his blanket. His attention drifted over to the liquor cabinet behind the couch. “You want me to keep you company or no?”

Patrick didn't look any more or less annoyed as Reno joined him on the couch, but he did uncross his arms and pinch the edge of the blanket. "Sure," he replied quietly, trying to sound like he didn't care either way. He followed Reno's gaze to the liquor. "Whiskey?"

“Hm.” Reno unwrapped one edge of the blanket and held it out, but changed his mind quickly and stood up instead, tossing the whole blanket at Patrick. The air was cold on his bare skin, but it helped clear his head. “You want?” He wandered to the balcony doors and peered out to the night sky. “It’s raining.”

Patrick just barely caught the blanket, and even then part of it settled over his face. He sighed into the fabric then pulled it down over his chest. "If you're having, yeah." But instead of finding a bottle, Reno wandered closer to the outdoors. Patrick didn't like this, for a reason he couldn't quite understand, and he dumped the blanket aside as he moved to join him by the balcony. "How exciting," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around Reno's shoulders from behind.

It was too cloudy to see the stars. Reno watched a drop of rain run down the glass, then leaned back against Patrick’s chest, shoulders tense. A sense of déjà vu hung over him, mocking him, and when he pressed his palm to the scar over his collarbone, faint tremors spread through his fingers. He curled his hand into a fist and pressed it to the glass. “Want a smoke?”

The strange, quiet tension rolling off of Reno was not new— he sometimes just got like this and Patrick usually let it happen without comment. However, the trembling was odd enough for Patrick to be curious. He watched Reno's fingers wobbling closed, and then knuckles thudding lightly against the window, and frowned. "Sounds good. My cigarettes are upstairs."

“I have some down here.” Reno moved to go fetch them but when he turned, Patrick was right in front of him and his mind stuttered over what he had been going to do. He exhaled through his nose and tilted his head down to rest his forehead against Patrick’s chest. His shoulders sagged. “Still want that whiskey?”

"What's happening?" Patrick asked as he worried, for just a moment, that maybe he was still dreaming. He held Reno's arms just above the elbow, partially to ground himself, but didn't hold on too tight in case it made Reno skittish. "You sound like you're short circuiting."

The grip on his arms helped bring Reno fully back to the current moment. He looked up at Patrick, scanning his face for a few silent seconds, gaze intent- he didn’t know what he was searching for, but whatever it was, he couldn’t find it. He looked away, but didn’t move further from him. “Just gotta reboot,” he responded with a twist to his mouth. “It’s been a weird fucking couple weeks.”

Patrick considered him for a moment, then crouched slightly to move his arms around Reno's waist. He stood again, holding Reno close, lifting him off the floor. A long exhale spilled from his chest as walked them both back to the couch. "Weird fucking couple weeks," he repeated quietly. He put Reno down and then handed him the blanket, tossing it over his exposed chest before he turned back toward the liquor cabinet. "Where are the cigarettes?" Patrick asked as he grabbed the first bottle of whiskey he saw.

Reno draped his arms over Patrick’s shoulders and rested his chin on his shoulder as he was carried over. The room was starting to shift from uncomfortably clear to spinning around him and once Patrick put him down he hunched over, pressing the heels of his hands against his closed eyes. “Tin on top of the cabinet,” he mumbled.

Only after he pulled down the tin and found a lighter did Patrick notice the alarming state that the cabinet was in. It was a mess, like it'd been taken apart and haphazardly put together again. All he could do was make the mental note and move on for now, though. He returned to Reno nudged him lightly with the end of the bottle. "Are you tripping?" he asked casually. "I have no fucking clue when you could have taken something, but it kinda feels like you are." He sat down beside Reno and stuck a cigarette into his mouth.

Reno took the bottle but didn’t open it yet, settling closer to Patrick on the couch. His eyes caught on Patrick’s hands, then his mouth, then the cigarette. He lifted a hand and touched the end- not even a full second later, a small flame started at the tip. “I’m sober.” He struggled with the cap of the whiskey, hands clammy, but managed to pop it off after a few tries. “For now.”

Just as he was about to light the cigarette himself, Reno's hand was in front of him and smoke started to rise into the air. Patrick blinked, surprised and confused about why he was surprised. It was only now that he finally felt just how tired he was. But his attention snapped over to Reno once he spoke. "Damn," he breathed out. He knew Reno got weird on the way down, but he'd never seen this. "Stone sober?" Patrick pulled on the cigarette then held it out.

“Something like that.” Reno took the cigarette and pressed it to his mouth, pulling the blanket up with his free hand and settling down. He leaned his head against Patrick’s shoulder and pressed the bottle of whiskey to Patrick’s chest. “What are you dreaming about?”

"Doesn't matter." Patrick took the bottle but didn't drink. He wished he'd lit his own cigarette so they wouldn't have to share. "It's some dumb shit from when I was a kid. Sounds fucking lame out loud." He moved his arm so it was draped over Reno's shoulder, allowing them to get closer, and hooked his ankle under the other's. "Why has it been weird? I know you haven't been this sober the whole time."

Reno held the cigarette to Patrick’s lips and took the bottle from him, putting it down on the ground beside the couch since neither of them had taken a sip. He turned, moving his legs over Patrick’s lap, and settled under his arm again. “Fuck, imagine. The combined withdrawal would take me out.” His laugh came out raspy. He dug his fingertips into the scar tissue on his collarbone. “You ever rip a wound open right before it heals?”

Patrick pulled on the cigarette as soon it landed on his lips, feeling simultaneously more relaxed and stressed out. Once Reno was settled again, Patrick picked up a new cigarette and handed that off to him, humming and smiling a bit at the attempted joke. He considered the question seriously. Frowning, head rolled back so he could stare at the ceiling, his finger making lazy, wavy lines along Reno's arm. "Yeah, I have."

Reno lit the new cigarette with the same ease as the other. Energy buzzed under his skin, but his head felt heavy with fatigue. He tucked his head under Patrick's chin when he leaned back. "Yeah." He blew a ring of smoke towards an unlit candle on the low table in front of the couch and watched the wick through the middle– a small flame flickered into being, then quickly extinguished into more smoke. "It's like that. Why's it been weird for you?"

The air above Patrick's head was hazy and getting hazier as he blew more smoke into the gathering cloud. "I don't know," he answered, closing his eyes and smiling a little. He pulled on his cigarette again. "Yeah. I don't know. I live here."

Reno turned his head and pressed his lips to Patrick's neck before his next drag. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards. "You live here?"

"Yeah," Patrick mumbled. Already, his cigarette was out, and he glanced to it with resentment. "New Athens." A strange weight pressed down on his chest, not caused by Reno. He ignored it. "Every time I'm here I deal with a special kind of bullshit."

"Huh." Reno leaned back to watch Patrick's face. He held out his own cigarette in offering. "Why'd you come back?"

He plucked the cigarette from Reno's fingers. "Because my asshole brothers fucking ditched me in the middle of a war." Patrick took a drag. "And I decided that they shouldn't be the only ones who get the nice city for it."

Reno reached out to press his fingers into Patrick's chest. "If you don't like it here I could help them have a worse time. Araminta's already got me giving Chase hay-fever."

Patrick considered the offer for a moment, wondering what Reno could do, but that thought fell away almost instantly. He lifted his head, his face a contortion of confusion and anger. "What?" He stared at Reno. "What the fuck? Why?"

Reno startled from his comfortable position, not expecting Patrick to move. He sat back up straight and watched Patrick’s expressions changed, confused about what caused this. “She asked me to?”

"Why?" he asked again, indignant. "For what reason?" His hand curled into a fist against Reno's arm. Nevermind that he was just considering the same thing, the fact that someone was actively targeting his brother was unacceptable to him.

Reno pulled his arm away from Patrick’s hand, reaching over for the bottle on the ground. “I didn’t ask. She wanted revenge for something and I’m trying to stop killing people.”

Patrick gave a incredulous scoff and puffed on the cigarette with a renewed energy. "Don't joke about that, Reno. That's my fucking brother. I'm allowed to fuck with him, but not you, and not fucking Minta, of all people. Fuck."

Reno slowly tipped his head back, lying back against the arm of the couch and staring up into the rafters. “I’m making him sneeze. It wears off after a month.”

There was a long stretch of silence after that. Patrick killed his cigarette and, because he was still angry, dropped the end on the floor. He took the bottle from Reno's grasp and gulped down as much whiskey as he could handle, wincing through every swallow. "That's it?" he asked once he was done, placing the bottle on Reno's stomach and waiting for him to take it back.

Reno took the bottle, cradling it between his hands before he finally took a swig. His throat burned, but he closed his eyes and waited for the nausea to fade. “Yeah.”

More quiet, then Patrick ran a hand down his face. "Fine," he grumbled. The temptation to get up and storm out of the apartment was strong, but he just turned his head away from Reno and steamed for a while longer. "Don't do anything else to Chase. Let's see how much Jesse is pissing me off when he gets back before I decide."

Reno laughed, once, and rolled his head back down to watch Patrick. The confidence with which Patrick was giving orders didn’t settle quite right with him.“I wasn’t planning anything else unless she told me to.”

Patrick angled his head back around with a sneer. He shoved Reno's legs off his lap and turned to face him for fully. "No. I don't care if she tells you to. Don't do. Anything else. To Chase."

Reno’s jaw tightened and he met Patrick’s eyes. He was still too sober for this, skin oversensitive and head heavy. “You’re missing something here,” he said slowly, voice low. “I don’t have to do what you tell me to.”

Rage buzzed all over Patrick's skin. Before he fully realized that he had moved, he was hunched over Reno, holding the whiskey out of the way so he could get closer. As his grip tightened around the neck of the bottle, the fingers of his opposite hand dug into Reno's wrist. "About this, you do," Patrick growled, baring his teeth.

Patrick’s motions happened as though in slow motion. Reno watched the ripples sent through the air as he moved- they stopped when, suddenly, Patrick was on top of him with his hand pressing down on his wrist. He blinked a few times, eyes focusing and unfocusing before they settled on Patrick’s face. The remaining tension and indignation bled out of him as a wave of fatigue took hold. He wheezed another laugh without changing expression. What was the point in arguing? He would agree with Patrick now, and then Araminta would threaten him into doing what she wanted, and then this whole circle would start up again and bring him along for the ride. “Okay.”

The laugh nearly made Patrick see red: not even the relent calmed him down, mostly because he didn't quite believe it anyway. For a moment, he pressed down even more, squeezing Reno's wrist tighter and tighter. After a slow count to ten, he finally let go. Patrick kept the bottle, though, and drank more as he settled back into his previous position on the couch. Now that the moment had passed it was like all the emotion was pouring out of him. With a tired sigh, he reached for yet another cigarette.

Reno rubbed his wrist with one hand one Patrick let him go, shaking his hand out to get rid of the pins and needles as blood slowly returning to his fingertips. Curling up at the end of the couch, he pulled the blanket around his shoulders and tucked his hands under his arms to start warming them back up. The moment of adrenaline faded quickly, leaving him lightheaded. "Feel better?"

If he was being honest, Patrick felt worse. But all he offered to Reno was a small, noncommittal shrug as he scowled into the darkness. He winced down some more whiskey, then leaned over to put the bottle on the floor, in reach of them both. Good thing he found the lighter, after all, because it felt almost ridiculous to expect Reno to light another cigarette for him right now. He clicked the flame on then sat back again, resuming smoking as if the outburst had never happened.

The silence stretched on until Reno stood up, dragging his hands over his face. He didn’t know why he was still sober, why he had bothered staying that way until now. The whiskey bottle was at his feet so he picked it up by the neck and headed out to the balcony, not bothering to close the doors behind him in case Patrick wanted to follow. The sky was still black, and the rain still coming down in sheets, but it woke him up to feel the wind and cold water on his skin. He dug his nails into the back of one of his forearms and hung his head, sending a prayer to his mother.

The alcohol finally started to go to his head; Patrick welcomed the buzz with almost relief. After what felt to him like several minutes of sitting alone on the couch, and once his latest cigarette was burned out, he reluctantly got up. Hovering in the doorway of the balcony, Patrick watched rainwater roll down Reno's back. A split second decision made him yank his shirt over his head and leave it in the dry air of the apartment. The rain was bitterly cold, but he leaned on the railing next to Reno. "You want me out here?"

The approaching footsteps were faint underneath the storm but Reno listened closely, tracking where Patrick was moving without lifting his head. He was soaked through at this point, a steady stream of water pouring from where the length of his hair had stuck together. Patrick was next to him, now, part of Reno kept note, but his eyes remained fixed on where the water dripping off his head disappeared to the street below. His throat was dry when he went to speak. Tilting his head back, he pushed the bedraggled strands off his face and smirked up at the clouds. "Only if you're gonna shove me over the edge."

Patrick was already starting to regret going out into the rain. The cold seeped under his skin and he started to shiver. "Hm," he responded in a low tone. "You're shit out of luck, then." Another chill slid over his chest but he stubbornly stayed put.

Reno laughed at that, rolling his head to the side to look at Patrick through the hair that flopped back over his face. He turned after a second, still leaning against the railing, and took his time sizing Patrick up, head to toe. "Come out to stop me drowning the whiskey?"

"There's still whiskey?" Patrick asked, incredulous, but with a smile tugging at his lips. "I thought you were coming out here to finish that off. Should have known you were the type to just sit out in a storm."

Reno held the bottle out for Patrick to take, a good few inches of liquor still left in the bottle. "Best kinda weather. Disruptive."

Patrick took the bottle and swallowed the rest of the liquor down as fast as he could. When he was done, his head was swimming. "Tasted like rainwater," he mumbled, words a little slurred as he placed the bottle at their feet. More out of habit than anything else, Patrick slid his hand over Reno's arm. A part of him wondered if it was too soon since his angry outburst, but that was drowned out by the alcohol clouding his brain.

At the first touch, Reno was ready for Patrick's hand to pass right through him– he was startled back to reality when they made contact. With an odd curiosity, Reno watched the movement, feeling as though he was settling back into his own body from wherever his mind had been before. He shivered, the cold catching up to him. "Want to go inside?"

He'd been about to ask, so Patrick nodded. He noticed that Reno still seemed spacey and all over the place (more than usual, at least) but it felt odd to ask more about it now. Something akin to regret needled at Patrick, but he ignored it. Once he was back inside, he picked up his shirt. But instead of yanking it over his head, he silently offered it to Reno. Whether this was his weird version of an apology, or a thoughtless impulse, or something else, he wasn't sure, and he didn't want to speculate.

Reno took the shirt with a nod, rubbing it over his head to partially dry his hair before tossing it back at Patrick with a smirk. He wandered over to the other side of the couch. "Thanks. Want a towel?"

Patrick's mouth fell open slightly as he caught the shirt. He scoffed, but matched Reno's smirk and shook his head. "I'm good," he said, decided that since his shirt was already soaked, he might as well dry his hair with it, too. He tossed it aside and sat back down, releasing a small breath. "Are you still too sober?"

Reno rubbed his wrists together and looked around. The lines of his apartment were uncomfortably sharp. "Yeah. I'm gonna grab a shirt." He disappeared up the stairs, then peered down at Patrick from over the landing. "Did you want to come back up here?"

The question made Patrick pause and frown, a little confused. He didn't get up from the couch, but eventually he did tilt his head back so he could stare up to roughly where Reno should be standing. "You trying to go back to sleep?"

Reno disappeared up into the rafters without responding. He dropped back down to the landing a minute later, wrestling a sweater over his head. “No. Don’t wanna be down there anymore.”

Well, he didn’t want to be alone down here. Patrick pushed himself from the couch, drank some of Reno’s (now cold) water, and searched in the dark for his shirt. It was damp and Patrick still felt the chill from the rain, so he took the blanket up with him, pulling it over his shoulders as he ascended the stairs.

Reno eyed Patrick somewhat warily when he appeared at the top of the stairs, but when he sat back on the bed, he left a clear space beside him. “Share the blanket.”

The cautious look made Patrick flare with a mixture of shame and annoyance. He pulled the blanket off of him, but stood there for a moment, not joining Reno on the bed. In the end, he just tossed the fabric down and wandered over to the window; it was starting to become his perch since the nightmares began again. His cigarettes were in his jacket, which he left beneath the glass— he’d known and prepared for this. As soon as he shrugged on the coat Patrick pulled out his pack and sat down, staring out into the nighttime.

Reno wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and huddled down. It had taken a while for him to feel the temperature outside, but now he was chilled through. While Patrick stared out the window, he watched the back of Patrick’s head. There was that sense of déjà vu again- for a second he could see, so clearly, blond hair instead of brown. It was ridiculous. Will had never even seen this apartment and despite the surface similarities between the two of them, Patrick and Will were far apart in Reno’s mind. He pressed his hands to his eyes again to the get the image out of his head. “Guess sleeping pills would make it worse, huh? The dreams.”

"Dunno," Patrick answered as he lit his— fourth, fifth cigarette? He didn't even know how many he'd had at this point. His tasted slightly different, and Patrick coughed slightly on the first inhale. "I never tried sleeping pills," he admitted. He never tried, because he never had to. He'd fixed his nightmares himself before he was old enough to be allowed to swallow any. A bitter sting spread over his chest on his next inhale. "Might sleep through the nightmares, though."

With the blanket still curled around his shoulders, Reno moved to the space on the floor beside his bed. If he was up, he might as well stretch. He folded over his legs. “Could make ‘em worse. Took some when I was still in school for stress dreams, it made them more fucked up and I couldn’t wake up.” Reno sat back up and moved one of his legs behind him before folding over again.

Patrick almost asked Reno if this was a dare. "I don't really care if they're more fucked up," he said. It was unclear to him if he was agreeing to an offer or not. "Not like I can't take it."

Did Patrick ever get tired of all the posturing? It didn’t seem like it. Reno flopped down to lie on his back, wondering why he was even trying to help. “Good for you.”

He was sick of his cigarette, so he lowered the hand holding it to his knee. Patrick breathed out something close to a laugh and glanced back at Reno. "Are you fucking saying you have some, then? Or just giving me some advice?"

“Yeah, I got some. I got everything.” Reno propped himself up on his elbows to look at Patrick, expressionless. “You gonna be a dick about it?”

The words stung more than Patrick was willing to admit. His expression hardened as his eyes settled on a random spot on the wall. Aren't I always? he almost snapped back. Once again, the temptation to just leave nearly brought him to his feet. But he was exhausted, and it was cold outside, and he didn't want to walk through the rain. "No. Fuck, Reno," he sighed, dragging his hand down his face. "I'm just fucking tired."

Reno felt around beside the mattress until he clasped a hand around a small bottle. He tossed it towards Patrick’s feet. “If you want to try it.” Sinking onto his back again, Reno’s eyes unfocused as he stared up into the rafters, trying to piece together vague shapes from the shadows there.

Patrick stared down at the bottle, spinning it around with a nudge of his foot. He reached down to pick it up, but didn't take its contents right away. Instead, he finished smoking, despite how sick it was making him. Eventually, his mouth dry and feeling a little nauseous, Patrick pried the cap open. He hesitated, shook two into his hand, then put one back. He swallowed the pill dry. "This is gonna fuck me up even more with the whiskey, huh," he said as he recapped the bottle. Patrick laughed a little. "Fuck. I didn't even think about that." Shrugging out of his jacket, he stood up and walked over to the bed. He placed the bottle beside Reno and lowered himself onto the mattress.

Reno shook a couple pills from the bottle and closed his fist around them, then threw the bottle down the stairs. He waited until he couldn’t hear it moving anymore. “Hasn’t killed me yet.” He rolled onto his side to face Patrick, expression blank as his eyes scanned over Patrick’s face. “Maybe they’ll make you discover a new power.”

He returned the stare for a long as he could, which was only a few seconds, then his eyes flickered up to the damp hair still sticking to Reno's forehead. "Has that happened to you?"

“Ha.” Reno only now took the two pills and swallowed. “I think I hit that peak a few years ago. All downhill from here.”

Patrick breathed out a small laugh, but it sounded hollow. He didn't want to think about this, so he angled his face toward the rafters and closed his eyes. "I guess we'll figure it out," he mumbled. "I'll come say hey if I can."

"I'll be sad if you don't." Reno's eyes stayed open, glinting in the darkness as he watched Patrick's face. It would be a while before he got back to sleep himself, he could feel that for sure. "See you in dreamland."

#patrick x reno #patrickreno5 #patrick

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bluepenguinstories · 5 years

Text

Happiness Overload Chapter Forty-Eight

There was no hesitation.

After all, what did I have to hesitate about? I had no attachments to this world.

My goal was clear, simple, precise. Go in, talk to them, and leave. Find out whatever I needed to know and nothing more. I was owed that much.

So how long would that be? A few minutes? An hour? Oh, I could only hope. When it came time to act on what should have been simple goals, there was always something to make it so much less simple. So far, however, there had been little in the way of complications since I set out; as if a scent in the air, I followed the trail, and it led me to an unassuming house in a near-empty city. If all went well, and I left, I could break ties with this existence and be at peace with everything.

There was no doubt. I was about to step through and face the one responsible. I knew that even so much as a conversation could become a challenge when faced with someone who likes to toy with words, but I would not let that stop me. I would make sure to get what I came for.

Two more days to make something work but all I wanted to do was stay in bed. Sound familiar? Yeah, I know. Broken record. At least things were different, even if only slightly. For one, I felt a nudging against my shoulders and chest as I fought against having to be awake.

“Get up already, you lazy bum!”

Nudge, nudge.

“Nngh!” I tossed, or tried to toss. My eyes begged to open, but I fought back.

“It's 8 AM! I'm hungry! I want breakfast!” Ah, I recognize that voice earlier. Wasn't there something we talked about the night before? Ah, not like it seemed all that relevant here.

“Go get some...” I mumbled. “Tell the people downstairs.”

“I did! I've already been up for a while now! They said they want to wait until you come down, too!”

Did she have to bark like she was giving orders? I mean, it had its charm, but some of us were still trying to sleep.

...Okay, so I was still trying to sleep, but it didn't seem to be working.

“Do I really have to be the deciding factor? Can't a girl get her beauty sleep?”

“No.”

Wow. How direct.

She nudged harder, to the point where I think I was starting to enjoy it.

“GET. UP. NOW.”

She bean pecking away at my neck, one of those neck attacks of hers. Quite lethal.

“T-That tickles! If you keep that up I'm gonna wanna kiss you back!”

She stopped.

“Hey, why'd you stop?”

My eyes were open now. There she was, scowl on her face, right on top of me.

“Are you going to get up now? I'll keep going if you do.”

“Mm...on second thought, I can live without kisses.”

“Oh, fuck you! I'm gonna push you off this bed!”

“Heh. Usually I'd be pushed onto the bed, not off.”

Maybe I shouldn't have said those words. I should've known that I'd have to eat them. Right on cue, she growled, and started pushing.

“Hey, hey, stop! Fine!”

She continued pushing and I found myself closer to the edge.

“Birch, please!” I pleaded and that was that. I lost balance and hit the floor. My poor butt.

“...I immediately regret choosing that name.”

It took me a second to register what she meant, and then I had to hold back laughter.

“I didn't mean it like that!” I looked up at her. At first, she looked sad, but then her lips formed a smug smile.

“Y'know, that name was never gonna stick. Think I'll change my name to Coriander. 'Cause I'm so spicy.” Wow. So smooth.

“You can change your name a million times and I'll still think of you the same,” I replied while making a mental note to start referring to her as Coriander.

“Oh yeah? And what do you think of me?”

“Why don't you come down here and find out?”

The mood must have been just right because she pounced off the bed and right onto me. I retaliated with some moves of my own, and...

...We woke back up a few hours later. Some things happened, okay?

Together, we made our way downstairs where the others were already seated at one of the couches (Trent at one far end of the couch, Juniper about a cushion away, and Blanc on the other end. There was a wide empty space, but that's just how things were with long couches like that. My question was: how did those two afford such nice furniture? Or maybe they didn't. Maybe they just looted it sometime after this whole shitstorm went down. Why did I end up going on such a long tangent?) with plates on their laps with what looked to be sandwiches.

“What are you guys doing?!” Coriander ran over to them and demanded. “Are you eating breakfast already?!”

“Actually, we're having lunch. Some turkey sandwiches. We had breakfast a couple hours ago,” Trent explained.

“You said you would wait up!”

“Yeah, but we thought you wouldn't be long.”

“What time is it, anyway?” I jumped into the conversation and asked.

“11 AM,” Trent told me.

“Eh, three hours. That's not long, is it?”

“Gimme that sandwich!” Coriander reached over and tried to snatch Trent's sandwich, but he pulled his hand away in time.

“Make your own!” He fired back.

Rather than do that, Coriander moved on to Juniper. “You're nice, right? Gimme some of your sandwich!”

Juniper broke off a piece and smiled her sweet smile. “Say 'aah'”

“What are you doing? Don't tease her like that,” Trent scolded.

No matter, Coriander opened her mouth and went “aah!”

It appeared that Juniper was about to put a piece of the sandwich in Coriander's mouth, but then stopped herself. “Wait. Did you wash your hands?”

“What?!” Coriander was taken aback. “Of course! I took a shower and I washed my hands, like, four hours ago!”

“Now that you mention it, I haven't taken a shower yet,” I spoke off-hand.

“Oh! Maybe you'd like to take another shower, Birch?”

“Actually, it's Coriander now and what?”

“Oh, sorry! Coriander! Maybe you and Velvet could take a shower at the same time?” Juniper suggested, which, the suggestion left even me in shock.

“Are you suggesting that she and I...?”

Juniper shrugged. “Why not? It would save on energy and you two could both get clean at the same time.”

Coriander stomped. “I don't need a damn shower! I need food!” I watched as she stormed off into the kitchen.

“I'll just go take my shower by myself,” I pointed behind me. “Likewise, I can make my own food.”

“Okay! See you in a bit!” She waved.

After my shower, I made my way back down, made myself a sandwich, and sat at the couch at the other end of the living room from where Trent, Juniper, and Blanc sat. I took my seat at the end of the couch which was closest to the stairs, and Coriander, with a sandwich in her hand, ate at the chair next to me.

“Say,” Blanc finally spoke up. “It looks like we're all having lunch, huh?”

I nodded. Yes. Everyone else, including Coriander, must have made themselves a second sandwich while I was just starting to have my first one. Damn, and to think, my hair would take a while to dry and I was just starting to eat.

Blanc beamed, bobbing their head and kicking their feet against the base of the couch. “Yes! Yes it is! She should come to me any minute now...hm...”

“Who?” I asked, but before Blanc could answer my question, the front door burst open.

No hesitation. I burst through the door and set my sights on Blanc as I moved with haste until I stood right next to where they were seated.

“There you are!” I pointed at the target. “At last, I've found you, and now you will tell me everything! First of all,” my peripheral vision set in and I started to notice that there were two others seated next to Blanc. “WHAT IS JUN--”

I stopped myself. I almost cried out, “what is Juniper doing here?!” But I managed to stop myself before I could reveal anything about my identity. As I turned around, I saw two other women seated beside each other, who stared at me, all confused-like.

“Err...what I meant to say is 'what is Jupiter a planet for? 'Cause I need to go there to get more stupider!'” I hoped that worked. Damn it, none of this was supposed to happen. Not part of the plan at all. I couldn't tell, but I was certain Blanc was feeling rather smug about all this. Relishing in my embarrassment, I bet.

The two ladies continued to stare, both tilting their heads and their expressions a mixture of disgust and confusion.

Just ignore them. Just ignore...ugh! Why is this happening? This is no good!

I began to pace around the room, palm on my forehead, looking down.

“This isn't good, not good at all. I come in expecting to talk to Blanc and she's here with them. Not good. No, not good at all,” I muttered. It was clear all my planning was falling apart as I became a nervous wreck and the whole problem was her.

“Hey!” The impish lady with blue hair barked at me. Blue hair...wonder if she was anything like the other blue haired woman I knew? No, probably not. She was a unique case. “What's your deal? You can't just barge into somebody else's house and expect some warm welcome.”

Oh no. The tiny one was right. I continued to pace.

“My deal, my deal...yes, I...err...”

What could I say?

“Who do you think you are, anyway?” The imp spoke again. The mouth on her, I swear.

“Who I am, who I am...” I couldn't just tell them my name. That could have been dangerous.

“Hey guys!” Blanc spoke up. “This is my friend!”

I nodded, sheepish and with vigor.

“Her name is Ve...Ve...”

Don't you dare say it!

“Versace!” Blanc blurted.

“What? That's not my name! My name is Ve--” Before I finished my sentence, the red haired one at the couch raised her hand.

“Yes?” I addressed her.

“Velvet?” She seemed to suggest.

“No, that's not my name. What is your name?”

“Velvet.”

“Why would that be my name, then if that's your name?”

“I just figured since you started to say 'Ve' and all...”

“Well, no. My name is Ve--”

Again, before I could finish, her hand shot back up.

“Yes?” This was really starting to get on my nerves.

“Velverosa?”

“I don't know what that is but that's not my name. Why do you think that would be my name?”

“Oh, she's a character from a webcomic I read once! She looks kinda like you, except you don't have the horns, wings, tail...”

“I think I know that one!” Juni...no. Oh god, why did I have to be reminded she was there? “Is that the one where there's that demon queen and she lives atop a tower and this girl keeps going up to the top of the tower?”

“Uh-huh!” Velvet, that strange person, replied. “That's the one!”

“Come to think of it, you do look kinda like the main character! Maybe if you cut your hair down to shoulder length, you could cosplay as her?”

What is going on right now?

“Enough!” I shouted, as I looked to quiet everyone down. “My name is Versailles, but you can call me Verse.” There. As far as made up names go, that one would have to do. Close enough to the name I had used for years, but not so much to the point that anyone would know any better.

I could hear those two ladies, the tiny one and Velvet, snicker.

“What? What's so funny?”

“Nothing,” Velvet assured. “Nothing at all...Verse...” Another snicker.

Does she know the truth?

“There's a joke I'm not getting, isn't there?”

The two just snickered again. “No, you're good, you're good.”

I'm the butt of a joke right now, I just know it. I deserve it, though, don't I? Am I not the one who barged right through that door and made a fool of myself?

“Um...may I sit down?” I pointed to the couch where Velvet sat. Hell, even the empty chair closest to the door would have suited me just fine.

“Yeah, sure. But could you go close the door first? You're letting a lot of cold air in,” Trent replied, as courteous as always. Damn, what was wrong with me? I could think about his name just fine?

“Of course. Thank you, you're as generous as ever, Tre...vor. Sorry, for a second there, I thought you were my brother-in-law, Trevor.”

You nailed it, Ves. You fucking nailed it.

“Ah, I see. I've been mistaken for other people before, but Trevor's a first,” he replied.

As I went to the door and closed it, he continued. “It's Trent, by the way. Trent Bark. And beside me is my sister, Juniper.”

I felt myself twitch, my heart jumped in place.

Yeah. I know.

“Ah,” although I felt like my face was flushed from that blunder of an entrance, I did my best to keep composed. “It's very nice to meet you two.”

Is it, though?

I took my seat at the couch, a position closest to the door, even if it meant I would have to be face to face with Juniper. Fine. So be it.

“I like your hair, Miss Verse,” Juniper spoke. To me. Of all people, she had to address me. “It's all shiny and silvery!”

“Um, thank you. Miss...yes,” I cleared my throat. “Thank you. You also have hair.”

What am I doing?

“Wait a second...” Velvet spoke up. “You look familiar.”

“Yeah,” Trent piped up, too. “Now that you mention it, you do.”

No. No I don't. You've never seen me before.

“Oh yeah, I think I see it, too, Trent!” That...sister...added.

“You're Etna, aren't you?” Velvet accused. Juniper gasped.

“Miss CEO?”

I turned to Velvet. “I'm not a hologram.”

“I knew it!” She pointed. “You ARE her!”

“Would you like to feel me?” I suggested.

“No way! I may like girls, but I still have standards! I'm not into evil!”

“Suit yourself,” I shrugged. “But also, I'm not her. As to why I look similar to her...I cannot say. It's pure coincidence.”

Everyone gave a sigh of relief. I did the same, being glad they could let go of their suspicion so soon.

“Oh yeah, now that I get a better look at you, there's no way you could be Miss CEO,” Juniper noted. What was with that nickname, by the way? 'Miss CEO'? “You look more like a librarian.”

“...What?”

“No,” Velvet interjected. “She looks more like a librarian who practices BDSM on the side.”

“You know, I really don't appreciate being speculated upon...”

“Oh, you're right!” My objections went unanswered. “Like a librarian dominatrix!”

Since when did Juniper talk like that? No. Best not to wonder such things. She is not the same person I am familiar with.

“Again, I would rather you didn't --”

“I bet she acts real tough and like a top, but is really a bottom,” Velvet suggested.

“I don't know what those words mean, but again, I do not want to be speculated on.”

“Ah, sorry, you seem to be one of those prim and proper ladies, aren't ya? Real reserved.”

My eyes lit up. “How could you tell?”

“Because,” Velvet smirked. “I am the best at what I do.”

“What is that?”

“Girls.”

I must be in hell. Fitting for a demon like me.

“Oh, come on, Velvet,” the blue-haired imp scolded her. “Just because her shades are gucci doesn't mean she wants you to tease her.”

“For your information, I do not wear shades, nor are they 'gushy'. I wear prescription eyewear because I need these to see better.”

“Oh my god, Coriander!” Velvet cackled. She looked like she was going to burst into laughter. How uncouth. “This Verse lady is more serious than you are!”

“Hmph. No one's more serious than me,” Coriander(? What kind of a name is that?) replied, crossing her arms. “I'm the most seriousest.”

Why isn't Blanc speaking up? Why are they allowing such a torment to persist?

Right. I had to focus on my objective. But before I could do that, I had to reclaim my dignity. That was when I remembered something: I've heard Blanc mention Velvet before.

“Your name was Velvet, correct?”

“Mhm!”

“Blanc told me a lot about you.”

Finally, this got their attention.

“Oh, yeah! I did! Back when I met you! How did we meet, again?”

“Oh dear, I cannot remember. It's been so long, hasn't it?”

“That's it! Back when I was in Paris!”

...What? I've never even BEEN to Paris.

Trent and Juniper both nodded their heads.

How? How are they just buying it? Do I even sound French to them? Wait. I see what Blanc's doing. Keeping up my secret. Thank you, Blanc.

“Right, when we, uh, met in Paris.”

“Was this before or after Blanc arrived at this universe?” Velvet questioned.

She knows Blanc isn't from this universe? Then, does she know already about me? I know I should have been out in the open about this, but then that would raise several more questions. What was I supposed to say to that?

“Definitely after!” Blanc replied. Thanks again, Blanc. “I never went to Paris back in the other universe! Was a first time experience when I came here!”

“Oh,” Velvet sounded relieved. “So this friend of yours isn't the one who shot you and cut you open and drank your blood?”

The fuck? How does she know about that? Blanc must have told her. Why did they bring that up? Why can't I move on from that?

“Nope! That friend's name was Vespa! I remember now!”

Whew. Saved again. Still, I felt like they were just toying with me.

“Alright. Good to know. So, Verse, what did Blanc say about me?”

“Oh,” my neutral expression turned to that of a devilish smile. “They told me about how you're such a huge dork.”

“HA!” Coriander laughed. “Ain't that the truth!”

“Hey!” She pursed her lips. “I'm not just a dork.”

“I also said you were super badass!” Blanc added.

Velvet perked up. “That is true!”

“Watch out, guys, we have a badass over here,” Coriander waved her arms about and laughed.

I didn't even try to fake a laugh. Rather, my smile remained as it was.

“Yes, they did say that. As well as how you like to act like some sort of secret agent.”

“I really don't like it when people think that,” Velvet puffed her cheeks and scowled.

“My question is: which of those aspects defines of you the most? I wonder...”

Okay, maybe I was starting to have too much fun.

“And you, little imp, do you just act so loud and commanding because of your stature?”

“Hey, no one's allowed to disrespect her except me!” Velvet came to Coriander's aid.

“I'll have you know, I was in the military,” Coriander growled.

“Disgusting. How much needless bloodshed are you responsible for?”

She gave no answer.

“And you two...” Shit. I wasn't sure if I could bring myself to say anything so scathing to them.

“You'll have to pardon my friend!” Blanc interrupted. “She's from France! You know the old saying, right? 'Pardon my french'? Well, that's her!”

“Ah, that explains it,” Trent replied.

“I'm not French, you ass!” I spat. “I'm Italian!”

I didn't know why I said that. I wasn't Italian.

“Ah, that also explains it.”

Explains what?!

“Hey! I'll have you know, Italians are also known for being excellent lovers.”

“Oh yeah?” Blanc leaned in. “Who was your last lover?”

You little shit! How dare you? And right in front of her, no less!

“T-That! Is private information!”

“Fair enough!” They grinned. “I was just curious!”

“Ooh, now I'm also curious,” Juniper perked up.

“I would really prefer not to. It's a sensitive subject for me, you see.”

“Aw, not even just a little hint?”

“If you keep this up, we're not going to get along.”

“Aw, okay...” She pouted. Yes. She really pouted.

This really feels like an inside joke that everyone else is in on but me.

“Here, I think we all got off on the wrong foot,” I decided once and for all that I was going to do what I came for, no matter the cost. “We're all friends of Blanc's, right?”

Everyone nodded.

“How about I make everyone a nice cup of tea?”

“You'd do that?” Velvet sounded astonished.

“Sure,” I shrugged. “I brought some tea leaves from home, as I love to make herbal tea for myself, but what's better than sharing tea with others?”

“You got me there, sis. Alright, then, load me up!” Velvet did little finger guns my way.

I got up from the couch and made my way to the kitchen.

“Say,” Velvet called to me. “Maybe I had the wrong impression. Maybe you aren't so bad after all.”

I wouldn't be so sure of that just yet.

“Oh, why thank you,” I laughed. “But I wouldn't go that far!”

As I walked to the kitchen, I stopped next to Blanc. “And what about you? Do you want some tea?”

“No thanks, tea makes me sleepy!” Blanc replied.

“Very well, then.”

Once in the kitchen, I got to work.

Something was fishy about her. Fishier than anchovy. I could tell, Coriander could tell, and I was sure Juniper could tell as well. Something was just off but I couldn't figure out what.

It wasn't like me to get so suspicious. Coriander would be, sure, but me? Nah. Only light suspicion. Grain of salt. Maybe a pinch of vinegar. It almost felt like when Blanc showed up at our apartment just the other day (when we still had an apartment). But, this was even more different. With Blanc, there was a sense of familiarity. Verse, on the other hand, only gave off red flags.

“Psst,” I whispered to Coriander. “What do you think of this Verse person?”

“She's weird, but that's par for the course for everyone we meet, it seems like.”

Well, shit. She wasn't wrong.

Guess I'd have to sit around and wait for anything to clue me in on what was giving off such bad vibes.

I watched as she emerged from the kitchen, no cups in hand. Seemed odd, until she opened her mouth.

“Would anyone like sugar in their tea?”

“Ooh! Me!” Juniper raised her hand up.

“Yes...you...may. You may have some sugar,” Verse sounded like she struggled to form her words. How odd indeed.

As Verse scurried back into the kitchen, Blanc turned to her.

“You're such an excellent host!” Blanc remarked.

“No, you're the excellent host,” she waved her hand and laughed.

“But I'm not even doing anything!”

“Are those two...flirting?” I blurted out, taken aback.

“Hey,” Juniper whispered, then leaned in, hand cupped over the left side of her mouth. “Just between you and me, I think those two might be married.”

“What are you talking about?” I replied.

“I noticed a ring on Verse's finger, and well, she did say she came to see Blanc specifically, right?”

“Err...no. Blanc doesn't seem like the type to get married. At least, I don't think so?”

Hm. Could it be possible, though? It didn't seem likely, but this was an alternate universe Blanc, so anything was possible, I suppose. But if the Blanc sitting across from me was anything like the Blanc I knew before, they wouldn't be interested in someone like that. At least not in that way.

Wait. She did say she had a brother-in-law named Trevor, right? Well, not that I even thought such a name existed, but it was worth a try asking.

“Hey Blanc?”

“Yes?”

“Just curious, do you have a brother named Trevor?”

They tilted their head. “Nope. Not in any of my past incarnations, either. Are you sure that's even a real name?”

I knew it. Something was up.

After serving everyone, including myself, a cup of tea, I sat back down. Right away, Coriander chugged it all down.

“Are you crazy?!” I shouted. “That's still hot!”

She belched. “Sorry, but if you wanna be tough, you gotta chug the whole thing down as soon as it's ready.”

“In what universe...oh, never mind.”

Velvet, who had been eying me with suspicion, took a sip, one eye open and facing me. “Mm, this is pretty good. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was...”

I gulped.

“...Chamomile.”

“Aha, you got me,” I laughed. “Guilty as charged! Chamomile is my favorite kind of tea!”

“Mine tastes kinda like burnt almonds,” Juniper pointed out.

“Oh yeah, ha ha! I added almond milk to it, to enhance the flavor.”

“Ah, almond milk. How fancy.”

I began to take a sip when Juniper spoke up again.

“So, if you don't mind me asking, how long have you and Blanc been together?”

I spit out my tea.

“What?”

“Yeah, I saw that ring on your finger, figured you and Blanc were married from the way you two were talking to each other.”

I shook my head. “No, no, no. You got it all wrong. While I do think Blanc has their own, shall we say, charms, I and them are not into each other.”

“Yeah!” Blanc jumped in. “Vampires aren't my thing!”

You little shit, can you pipe it down?

“Ignoring that comment, while I would not be opposed necessarily to the idea of being with someone nonbinary, granted, if they were feminine leaning. Which I don't think they are. Am I wrong, Blanc?”

“Nope! Not wrong at all! But it's cool how I'm friends with so many lesbians!”

I looked around me.

“Do you mean...?”

“Mhm!”

I laughed. “Small world, huh? Yes, I am as well.”

Juniper's eyes widened. “Wait, so that means...you have a wife?!”

“Yes. You,” I tripped over my words, again. “You are correct.”

“Whoa! That's so cool!”

I closed my eyes. “Yes, but I am not seeing her right now.”

“Aw, did you two break up?”

“No,” I kept my eyes closed. I didn't want to look her in the eyes. “There was a fight, you could say, and I just decided I needed to be alone for a while.”

“Sounds like a break up to me.”

My eyes opened, a nerve having been struck. “Well, it wasn't! Okay? Can we just leave it at that?”

Why was she getting to me so much? Come on! I needed to keep myself composed!

“Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I've just been going through some things.”

“No, it's okay,” she replied. “I didn't realize it would be such a touchy subject.”

“You're telling me someone like you managed to nab a wife?!” Coriander asked, shocked at the prospect.

“Yes. Believe it or not. Now can we please drop the subject?”

“Hm...okay. I actually think it's pretty cool, but,” she yawned. “I am getting kinda sleepy. Velvet, can I sit on your lap?”

“Of course!” Velvet patted her knees. Then she yanwed as well. I watched as the two fell asleep, right on each other.

Next, Juniper leaned up against Trent and the two dozed off until the only people awake were Blanc and I.

As I took a sip of my tea, I awaited their response. Shock? Horror? Confusion? No, if I knew them, all of those reactions were unlikely.

“Jeez, talk about overkill,” they said at last. “You didn't have to spike their tea, y'know? I could've just suggested that they were exhausted after a long bout of talking, and all go to take a nap, if you wanted them asleep. Or I could've just asked 'hey guys, can you leave the room?' Or we could have just went to a different room.”

“They'll be fine. They're just going to take a little nap,” I took a sip of my uncorrupted tea.

“Still, did you have to go that far just to have a private conversation? I mean, I could've --”

“You have your methods, I have mine,” I interrupted them.

“Oh, alright. So, how have you been? What can I do for you?”

“I've been dealing with some things. Doing a little soul searching, you could say. I felt the need to go to a different universe in order to get away from it all.”

“Mm. How's that working out for you?”

“Take a guess,” I groaned.

Blanc pointed to the woman who was asleep a couple cushions down from them. “Will you be okay, what with who's here?”

“Her? Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine, just fine,” I took a deep breath. “I'll be fine, really. I know she's not the same one that I know, so there should be nothing to worry about. Besides, it wouldn't be a good idea to get attached to anyone here, given what's going on in this version of Earth, and the fact that I am but a passerby.”

They continued to point their thumb in her direction. “You sure?”

“Yeah! I'm fine! Really! I'm just...fine...”

“Okay, just wanted to make sure,” they sounded concerned for a second there.

“That's not why I'm here, anyway.”

“Oh, yeah, of course! I figured that out! So what can I do for you?” They pulled out a syringe and vial. “Need me to donate blood?”

“What?! Do you just carry that around with you wherever you go?!”

“No, I just figured since you're here, you probably wanted a quick fix and it's not hard to create something like that out of thin air.”

“Well, I'm fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Gosh.”

“Okay, then...” They put the equipment back behind them.

“In fact, since I've been here, I've felt refreshed. The air here feels much accommodating. It must have to do with the state this world is in.”

“Ah, so you know?”

“Of course. I make it a habit to be aware of my surroundings wherever I go.”

“And yet you just barged in here like a maniac!” Blanc laughed.

“Look, that was a lapse in judgment.”

“Fair enough. So why are you really here?”

“Simple: I just want to talk. Have a few of my questions answered.”

“Ah, and you considered it a private matter? Very well, what do you want to talk about?”

“First off, might I ask who, or what, I'm speaking to?”

Blanc's smile grew wider and they began to burst into laughter. Then, with a wide grin, they spoke.

“I'M SO HAPPY YOU FIGURED IT OUT!” They then covered their mouth. “Oops! Inside voice! Some people are sleeping!”

“Wait! What was that just now?”

“A joke. I thought you'd appreciated it, or maybe only I did.”

“Yes. Only you.” I sighed. I knew this wasn't going to be easy.

“Though to answer your question, I am Blanc! I am also Euphoria!”

“How is that possible?”

They shrugged. “Simple. They're just names. You could call me whatever you want to.”

“But isn't Euphoria the name of the cosmic being?”

“Is it? It's more a name Etna gave them, then I called them Euphy. There is no true name, but then, you could call yourself whatever you wanted to, as well. Isn't that right, Verse?”

“You little...” I growled. “Did you really forget my name?”

“Maaaaybe!” They played coy. “Okay, so maybe not! But you didn't want to give away your name, either, did you?”

“Point taken. Still, being what you are, does that mean you're a cosmic entity? Or part cosmic entity?”

“I mean, I am human.”

“But--”

“Aren't all humans cosmic entities? I mean, Earth is in space, and people live on Earth, so it only stands to reason that we're all space things.”

“You know damn well that's not what I'm referring to.”

“What? Like a god? It's true that Euphy is powerful, but she, they, don't need to be worshiped to be powerful.”

“Is that some kind of critique on religion or are you just making another joke?”

They shrugged. “I don't know. How do you want to take it? You could worship an asteroid hurtling toward Earth, but if it lands, it will still have its impact regardless.”

“I see what you mean. So is that what she is? An asteroid, and what's happened is the impact?”

“You could say that. I mean, if that asteroid was alive and had a consciousness. But I wouldn't say she's good or bad. She just is.”

“And so are you, then?”

“I'm me. Euphoria is Euphoria. I'm also Euphoria. Hm. Is Euphoria also me? Maybe. But Euphoria is also everybody.”

“I don't think I understand.”

“That's okay! To be honest, I probably gave you quite a scare back when we were in The Flashbulb's lair, huh? Sorry about that! I just came to the realization so there was a bit of an adjustment.”

“I understand. Look, about the whole...thing, I hope you can forgive me.”

“What's there to forgive?” They seemed to have genuine curiosity. “Sure, you wanted to do what you did, but what you wanted to do was wonder what made me the way I was. What I wanted to do was give Etna a physical form through the power of Euphoria. I can't always control how something comes about, but if not for Euphoria's influence, you wouldn't have even thought to drink my blood.”

“Still, there's no excuse and--”

“Hey, don't mention it! We both got what we wanted, didn't we? I found the means to meet back up with my friends, and you got the means to change your fate.”

“I guess...”

“I hope your fate was able to be changed, by the way. I really do.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Of course. You're my friend, and destructive or not, the whole idea is to be happier, isn't it? Not sadder. Even if I may have manipulated you, I still wanted to find a way for you to be able to live on and live the life you wanted to live. Not to die and have your consciousness transferred over to an evil AI.”

“But she still exists.”

“Yeah, well, I had to hold up my end of the deal.”

“Was it really necessary? Even knowing that she may betray you?”

They shrugged. “Probably not, but who would I be if I made a promise I couldn't keep?”

“You sure are strange, even setting aside the whole spirit thing.”

“Did you manage to change your fate, by the way?”

“I...” How could I answer that? There didn't seem to be anything I could have said that would prove satisfactory. “Well...”

“I don't think of you as a failure, by the way. How could I? You've been through so much and you've fought so hard to get to a better place. So what if you're still not where you want to be? You're still doing great.”

Those words struck me.

“Which one of you said that? The Blanc part or the Euphoria part?”

“Why does it matter?”

“It makes all the difference!”

“Fine, since you're still going on about who said what, let me put it this way: I don't consider you a failure. But that doesn't mean someone else won't.”

“Wow, how reassuring,” I groaned.

“Only the truth. I can't control how others think. Still, I think what matters the most is whether you think of yourself as a failure. I can think of you any which way, but I can't change how you feel about yourself.”

“Well, it's just that I found out how my father tried to merge me with Euphoria when I was a baby, only for nothing to happen. Apparently I was deemed a failure for not being compatible and I could have easily been disposed of if not for him keeping me and pretending nothing happened.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“How do you think I should feel? Awful. Having this kept from me, being some kind of experiment, what's more, finding out that in other timelines, I met my end as an experiment. Even if that didn't happen to me here, the fact that it has, and the damage it caused, yeah. How am I supposed to feel good about any of that?”

“Yeah, I think I get what you mean.”

“My father and I never got along. He seemed like a rather conservative man, and although he on occasion told me he loved me, he rarely interacted with me. Always in his garage. Still, after he had disappeared upon making that time-travel device, I couldn't help but want to find him. I still think I loved him, even if we weren't going to get along. But knowing what I know now, it's hard to know how to feel. Should I resent him?”

They shrugged. “I can't answer that.”

“No, I suppose you can't. What am I doing? I acted as a therapist for a few years and now here I am, venting my problems to some being who doesn't even take anything seriously.”

“Mm...I wouldn't go that far. My friends are serious business to me. Plus, you still haven't answered the question. Do you think of yourself as a failure?”

“I...don't want to. But how could I not? Even if it was against my will, learning that I was incompatible. Then, with every attempt I made to try to make my life right, something else would go wrong. I gained this power from you and you'd think it would make me happier, but it hasn't. I've tried numerous things and nothing's worked.”

“Yeah, that's the problem, isn't it? Even a perfect being isn't perfect. Euphoria can make you happier, but if you don't know what will work, she won't know either. If you think something will work, or help, that will be granted. But that doesn't mean it will always turn out the way you want it to.”

“Like a monkey's paw?”

“Ew, no! First of all, the thing about monkey paws is first, why would you touch a detached limb that's probably full of germs and possibly diseases? Probably carries fleas and other bugs, too!”

“Okay, but you know what I mean.”

“One of those 'be careful what you wish for' deals? Nah. Not like that. The purpose isn't to make things worse for the person, not to mention, I'm not even sure if wishes are the right thing to call it?”

“Still, if it all leads back to the destruction of everything, how could it be considered anything but bad?”

“Everything has an end. It's just the thing that happens with her around. But about you trying things and you're still not there, that's okay! Just because you try something out you think might work, and then it doesn't, doesn't mean the method is bad. It just means that's not the method isn't applicable. So you just try something else until you figure it out. You wouldn't call a microwave defective when what you want is to make toast, would you? That just means you needed a toaster!”

“I think I see your point. But still I wonder, why wee you accepted as a host for her?”

“Host? That sounds like a silly word. I don't consider Euphy a parasite! But anyway, the answer's simple: she was just asked nicely!”

“What? That's it?”

“Yeah, she was asked to be my guardian angel, and she obliged. Nothing more to it than that.”

“I can't believe this. Such a simple reason and all these scientists who struggled to make it work.”

“Well, she still works her magic, and she still loves everyone in her own euphoric way. Plus, in the end, you got the gift, too.”

“Yes, but you still got everything you want! You're practically a god!”

“I'm still human. If I'm a god, then you're a god, and if we're both gods, then everyone is one. If everyone is one, then who really cares?”

“Couldn't you live forever, though? Most people can't do that.”

“Maybe if I wanted to, but I don't mind dying. I've already done it a few times. All I really want is to be happy. Dying is okay as long as you're happy!”

“You just said by your own admittance 'if I wanted to'.”

“Look, everything has an end, somehow. But then, just like nothing lasts forever, there will always be something new after that thing ends, too.”

“Like an afterlife?”

“There you go, trying to get all metaphysical on me again! I'm a big dummy! I don't know these things! If one of those makes you happy, sure. In a sense, there probably is in that you'll probably end up floating around as dust amongst the stars. But that's not what I was getting at at all! I just meant that even if this universe all ends at once, there will be another universe still around where everything is still going. Or, more likely scenario, most of the universe could be wiped at once, but a few things survive, and those few things rebuild something new.”

“Ah, I see now.”

“Hehe, so anymore questions?”

“One or two more.”

“Okay, shoot. But maybe not literally.”

“Are you the cause of all this? The state of this world, I mean.”

“Am I the cause of all this?” Blanc leaned forward, hand on their chest, sounding surprised. “I've never been the cause of anything! I'm the kind of person that things happen to them, not the other way around!”

“You're responsible for plenty.”

“Oh, alright! But as far as the world goes, nah. That already started as soon as she was introduced to this world thanks to Etna. All I did was stumble into what had already began.”

Something about that sent shivers down my spine, but I wasn't sure why. Then, a realization hit me.

“Wait. Are you the effect?”

“I don't know, are you the effect?”

“What do you mean?”

“Has it had an effect on you, or are you affected by it?”

“What's the difference?”

“Beats me! I was never good at these things!”

“We're getting nowhere. You're still being evasive, I can tell.”

“No I'm not, you're just not telling me what you really want. But I know you've come close a few times.”

“You're right. Now that this is coming to a close, I suppose I ought to get to the heart of the matter: I think I've finally figured out what I need. I just wanted to know if I was making the right decision, and I figured if I could speak to the source, I would have my answer.”

“What, do you have buyer's remorse? Don't like your gift?”

“No, it isn't that. I'm grateful for what I have obtained, though I have found out it isn't what I need.”

“So you want to return it? Isn't it rude to regift?”

“That's not it, either.”

“That's okay if it was! I wouldn't be offended!”

“No, I just had something different in mind.”

“Like some kind of ultimate sacrifice?”

I gulped. “Close.”

“I think it's a novel idea, though I don't think it's quite your style. Rather, I think you'd like to live a nice, long life.”

“That remains to be determined.”

“I suppose it does. Why do you worry about making the right decision, anyway?”

“Past mistakes. Something else. When I went back to my own time, there was someone I met. You could say we were enemies, and she wanted to kill me, but even then, I could tell there was a pain that I wanted to lift. In the end, she ended up dying, and I wanted to bring her back to life, but then didn't. But I still felt like I could have done something. I don't feel like I made the right decision by letting her die.”

“That depends. If she wanted to go out that way, then she was probably happy to have gone down in a fight.”

“But what if it didn't have to be that way? What if we could have been friends instead of foes?”

“Who's to say? But if it made her happy to go out that way, there's nothing more to do.”

“I suppose...”

“You have a big heart, you know? You like to think of yourself as so cruel, but here you are caring about an enemy!”

“Maybe I just value an enemy's life more than my own.”

“I don't think that's true at all, I think you value your wife's life quite a lot and you wouldn't call her an enemy at all, would you?”

I scowled. “How would you know? It's not like you were there to see what I went through.”

“You're right, but maybe I know!”

My heart skipped a beat. “Do you?”

They nodded, and I could feel myself start to turn cold. I watched as Blanc squished their cheeks with their hands.

“I wub you!” They mocked.

“Stop that.” I knew exactly what they were doing.

“I wub wub you!”

“I'm serious.”

“Wub wub wub!”

“I'll kick you.”

“You'll kick me?” They snickered. “That's funny, sis! You must be getting soft! I feel like the old you would have threatened to kill me.”

“I will,” I growled. “I'll kick you to death.”

They laughed harder.

“Well, in any case, I'm glad you're here! It's nice to be among friends!”

“Friends?” I blurted. “Is that what you think of us? All the time I knew you, I didn't consider you a friend, but...”

“...A patient? A test subject?”

“No. I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry.”

“It's fine! I know you would have preferred to be impersonal.”

“...but I wouldn't mind calling you a friend, is what I was going to say. Let a lady finish next time.”

“Oh! That's even better to hear!”

“I believed many things in an effort to shut myself off from others, but I know better now and it hurts.”

“It doesn't have to, y'know.”

“I hope you're right.”

“You should stick around! I think you'd like to meet everyone! Plus that Coriander girl is kinda like you!”

I looked over to the blue-haired imp. Still asleep. “Interesting. I didn't think anyone was quite like me.”

“Well, life's full of surprises! Like how you're already familiar with one person here! Speaking of which, I think someone's about to wake up, so I'll fall asleep and leave you two lovebirds alone!”

“Hey! That's not fair! I don't even know this version of her!”

Too late; they curled up against the edge of the couch and dozed off.

Blanc must have been wrong about this one, as she didn't even seem to stir.

As if compelled, I made my way to the couch and sat at the empty cushion. I stared down at her and watched her sleep.

“She's still the same person, but we don't know each other...” I muttered. What am I doing? Why do I end up watching people sleep like I'm some kind of creep?

I almost reached down to stroke her cheek, or her hair, but I stopped myself.

“This isn't right. We don't know each other. It should stay that way. Still, she looks just like how I remember her.”

“You're baby...” I heard Blanc mutter beside me. “You...are...baby...”

Are they talking in their sleep? It's not unheard of, but then again, can they really get to sleep so fast? Hm...there was only one way to tell...

I kicked Blanc's shin and they jolted up.

“Ow! Fine, I'll go to some other room, sheesh.”

“I knew it! You weren't asleep!”

My eyes followed Blanc until they were out of sight. When I turned back to see this world's version of Juniper, I noticed her start to move and it looked like she was about to get up.

Shit.

I scurried back to the other couch where I had previously been sitting. Just as I did, she sat up and yawned.

“Wow, that was quite the nap. Guess I needed that,” she yawned her words. Her eyes started to open and she looked startled to see me looking right at her.

“Whoa! You're awake too!”

“It would appear so,” I looked away, down at my teacup.

“Can I ask you something, Verse?”

She remembered my name already. Fake name, but still. In Blanc's words, any name could be my name.

“Go ahead.”

“What's your wife like?

Right. I let the cat out of the bag there, earlier. Dammit, why did she remember that as well?

“You're rather nosy, aren't you?”

“You don't have to answer if you don't want to. No need to be rude,” she scolded right back.

“You're right. It's fine. I can assure you, she's nothing like you.”

“That's weird because that didn't cross my mind, anyway.”

Why can't I just act normal?

“Okay, well, for starters, she's blonde, average height, an adorable smile...” Shit. That's exactly like the person sitting next to me. “She's very kind and likes to help everyone she meets. She's the type who's willing to give everyone a chance. Also, she's incredibly smart! Like, I couldn't imagine making half of the things she has, even if I may not have thought of them to be of much use! Just that she decides to make something, and then sets off to do it, that's brilliant!” It took me a second to realize that I started to get excited talking about her in the last part. How strange.

“Oh wow! You're right, that sounds nothing like me!”

Please tell me you're being sarcastic right now.

“Sounds like you really like her!” She added.

I nodded. To dwell on it anymore would shatter me.

“So if you really like her, why did you two break up?”

“We didn't break up! I already told you that! We're just taking a break!”

“I don't know, sounds like a break up to me.”

“You're real annoying, you know that?”

“How can you say that when you don't even know me?”

I crossed my arms. “We'll just have to agree to disagree, won't we?”

In the midst of it all, I somehow failed to notice the others beside me wake up. Trent remained, but for all I knew, Velvet and Coriander may have heard the whole thing between Juniper and I.

“Look, I'm sorry. Truth is, I'm still not over her.”

She pursed her lips. “Did you do something wrong?”

“Not exactly.”

“Was it her?”

“No, sometimes these things just happen. Sometimes it's neither person's fault and it just doesn't work out.”

“I've never been in a relationship before, but break ups sound tough.”

“It's not...okay, maybe a little. I felt it best to leave, but I still miss her.”

“Hey, that does sound rough,” Velvet nudged me.

“It's whatever.”

“Like hell it's whatever! You're out here spilling your guts to strangers and you're acting like it's whatever?” Coriander barked.

“Yes, well, even though I miss her, sometimes I feel like she's with me. Even now, it's as if she's sitting right across from me.”

“That's funny,” Juniper pointed to herself. “Because I'm sitting across from you!”

“Yes, funny that...”

“Now, now, Juniper, I'm also sitting next to her. Maybe she means me?” Velvet chimed in.

“I don't mean either of you! Gosh! It's a figure of speech!”

Soon after, Trent woke up as well, and I thought maybe I could be free to leave the hellscape behind. I found myself looking down on the floor, staring off into space. I thought I could clear my head, but I was wrong. Coriander got up and tapped on my shoulder.

“Hey, can I talk to you in private?”

“Sure, I don't mind.”

I could have said no, but I wanted to improve the image I had with everyone. There I was, an intruder in their home. The least I could do was listen.

She dragged me to a door and opened it up. I expected it to be a hall closet, but instead it was a small guest room. Two chairs lie there. We each sat across from each other.

“You've been married, right?” She began.

I nodded.

“Can you tell me what it means to, um, like someone?”

Hell if I know.

No, I wasn't about to say it like that. I wanted to help this person any way I could.

“It may be hard to put into words, but I can do my best. It's like, just seeing that person could brighten your day, or thinking of them. Or just wanting to be around them. Or even when you're apart, wishing them well. Does that help?”

“Not sure. That all sounds so vague,” she grunted. “Is it anything like liking a favorite food?”

“That's one way to think of it. One aspect. Someone can bring you joy and pleasure and comfort, just as a food or a piece of entertainment can.”

“'Piece of entertainment'. Why do you talk so funny?”

“Hey, I'm trying to help you!”

“Just sayin'.”

“Well, anyway, sometimes people can make you sad or upset you, but if you like them, then you'll be sad or upset because you care about them that much and even if they're not always able to brighten your day, you still want to be around them.”

“I see.”

“Does that make sense?”

“I suppose. Doesn't sound like that applies to Velvet at all. She just pisses me off half the time.”

What?! That's what this is about?!

“So you wanted to tell whether or not you liked her?” I tried to keep myself composed and continue to help.

“Yeah, I mean, I guess I probably do.”

“So what's the problem?”

“Do you not know what's going on?”

“No, I do. If you're worried about the world ending, all the more reason to confess. You don't know how long you two will have, so why not make the most of it?”

“We probably both want to be in a relationship together, it's just that sometimes...”

“Yes?”

“Well, sometimes I get these outbursts and I end up hurting her, or myself. Sometimes both. I know it's hard on her, and it's hard on me, too.”

I think I'm starting to see what Blanc meant.

“Do you wish you could be free of such things?”

“Duh? What kind of question is that?”

“I just wanted to confirm.”

“Well, yes. I would love that. But I'm worried it may not happen. I mean, I've been lucky in that I've been able to come down from it, and I'm normal now, but still, it feels like only a matter of time.”

“Until what?”

“I feel like a time bomb. Like any moment I'll explode and there won't be any way to prevent it. If that happens, it might be best to not be with her, and to avoid everyone.

Why does that sound familiar?

“I don't think I can relate.”

“What kind of response is that? I didn't ask you to!”

I was taken aback. Still, I tried not to take it personally.

“Is that your greatest fear?” I found myself asking instead.

“It's one of mine, sure. Can I tell you something else?”

“Of course.”

“You won't tell the others. Velvet already knows, but the others...”

“Our conversation will stay between us.”

She took a deep breath. “Here goes. See, I'm a clone. Of myself? Of someone else? I'm not sure. I worked at Area 51 under the name 'Mavis Beacon'. Yeah, laugh it up. Against my knowledge, I had been recreated several times over, my memories replaced over a long period of time. I don't know who I originally was, if I was anyone at all.”

“Do you wish to know?”

What am I getting at? Like I'm going to use the powers I have to treat her?

“I'm not sure. It disturbs me, because I may never know. It doesn't bother me if I never find out, but at the same time, it's like, am I anything like how my original self was or am I a completely different person?”

“You're who you are now,” why did I say that? Why didn't I just dig in and use my power to find out the truth and help her? “I cannot tell you anything else.”

“Wow,” she huffed. “Some help you are. Why did I even bother talking to you?” She got up.

“I don't know. I'm sorry,” I sounded dejected. Defeated.

“At least you tried,” she said before leaving back to the living room.

When I came back to the living room, myself, I already felt a premonition that it was a bad idea to have been there.

“So, Coriander, what was your impression of her?” Velvet asked.

“She's okay, I suppose.”

“Well then,” Velvet addressed me, before I could even sit down. “Seems I was wrong about you.”

“How so?” I sat down, then asked.

“At first I was getting bad vibes from you, not gonna lie. Though it was fun to tease you. But nah, seems you're cool.”

“Oh, well, thanks.”

“So if you're Blanc's friend, and you seem alright, I figure we should get it out in the open.”

Blanc grinned, having returned to their previous position.

Velvet continued. “I've already told Trent and Juniper, so it seems only fair to tell you as well.”

What? What is it? Just get to it.

“The world is ending, as I'm sure you know, and judging from your reaction earlier, you know about Etna and I even wager you know how evil she really is.”

I gulped.

“So in case you don't already know, Etna is actually a creation of this group called The Flashbulb and they're responsible for all this. So Coriander and I are planning on finding The Flashbulb's HQ and saving the world.”

This had to be a joke. No, all of what she said was true, but...

Even still, Velvet continued. “We don't know how we'll get there yet, but it's going to happen. In just a couple days, too.”

That was it; I burst into laughter. My whole demeanor changed.

“Hey, what's so funny?” Velvet demanded to know. No? It wasn't a joke? Well then. It must not have been a joke. Everyone else stared at me.

“Sorry, but I'm going to have to stop you right there.”

“Why?”

“Let me give you, all of you, a healthy dose of reality: there is no stopping this.”

I really wanted to get along with everyone, but I just couldn't be dishonest anymore. If they shall all hate me, so be it. I continued.

“There are only two foreseeable paths for you all: death, or a fate worse than death.”

“How can you be so sure about that?” Velvet pressed. If I had to give her anything, her spirit didn't seem to waver.

“Because, little girl, I know all about what is causing the destruction of Earth. It is something beyond all of our control, as well as understanding.”

“Little girl? You don't look much older than me. Also, if The Flashbulb's the one responsible for this, then they must have a way to stop it.”

“Oh, they do. It's called turning back time to before their little experiment began. Of course, they won't do that until the world is already gone.”

“You know about them?”

I laughed once more. “Of course I do! Similar to Blanc over there, I'm not from this timeline.”

Her shock only lasted a second, then she continued to fight back.

“So you didn't meet Blanc in this version of Earth. Got it. You felt the need to hide that from us, too. Which raises the question: if you had the means to travel to other timelines, something that apparently only The Flashbulb's technology can do, does that mean you're with them?”

“Please,” I hissed. “I have my own vendetta against them.”

“If you know about them and you don't like them, why wouldn't you work with us to try to fight back against them? We can stop this together!”

“Just because I'm not your foe, that doesn't make me your ally.”

“Noted.”

Yes. The environment sure changed. Some in fear, some heated. Not the most desirable outcome, but one I was used to, and necessary.

“But why wouldn't you be our ally? Why even come here at all?”

“Because I know what I'm up against. I've been there once before. What you're talking about is facing an enemy you know nothing about. It's kid talk. As for why I'm here, I already said when I got here, I wanted to speak with Blanc. Why Blanc is here, I do not know.”

“Exactly! You know about them! Which means you would be a valuable asset! Why don't you see that?”

“Did I stutter? You have no idea what they're like. What they can do. If you were to go there, you risk facing a fate worse than death. I'm sure your friend already knows what I'm talking about.”

“Hey!” Coriander protested. “You said you would keep it between us!”

“I'm not elaborating, am I? But the point still stands. You're talking about facing an organization which has been around in what feels like an eternity. They don't need soldiers to stop you, they have technology. They would rather experiment on you or torture you than kill you. There have been countless attempts to stop them, all ending in failure. What makes you think you would be any different?”

“I have to try something!”

“Give it up. If I had to choose between death and a fate worse than death, I know which I would choose. So my advice to all of you is to enjoy your last days on Earth and hope you all rest in piece.”

“How could you just think that way?” This time, the voice didn't come from Velvet, but from Juniper.

“Cover your ears if you have to, this is mostly for the ones who think they can be heroes, anyway,” I suggested. Could I have said something nicer? Of course. But it was already too late for that. If I had to burn bridges, at least it was with people I just met. I turned back to Velvet.“Defeating them alone would already be nigh-impossible, but when you factor in that you want to reverse the damage done? Do you know the only way to do that?”

She stared, her face close to a scowl.

“I'll tell you: turn back time. Which is what they already plan to do. It may be true that I don't like them, but if that is the only way to stop this mess, then it stands to reason to just let it happen. Live out your life until it all ends, and then when everything is reversed, the new you will be none the wiser.”

I expected them all to break.

“Damn, you're actually serious about this?” Trent asked. “So, then, everything?”

I nodded, not even looking at him. “Live every day like it's your last. Because it very well may be.”

“I'm sorry,” Velvet spoke up, not breaking her stare. “But I can't accept that.”

“You're going to have to.”

“Oh no, I understood what you told me. Which only strengthened my resolve. Plus, considering you got here, you probably know how to get there, too.”

“Of course I do. So does Blanc.”

“Blanc said they lost the device to get there, though.”

“Ha! Blanc may be many things, but they wouldn't be so clumsy as to lose the means to get there. What I'm willing to bet is that they just hid it from you so that you wouldn't be able to get there. They could probably take you there any time.”

Ah, that time, Velvet broke from her stare. She turned to face Blanc.

“Blanc, is that true?”

They shrugged. “Sure, but I wasn't trying to stop you. I just wasn't interested in going back there. Besides, I was sure you would have still figured out a way to get there sooner or later.”

“I see,” Velvet, rather than mad at Blanc, turned back to me. “I'm still going to do this. The Flashbulb's hurt too many people, and even if we discount this little happiness experiment, there's all these other things they've done throughout history. Someone has to put an end to it.”

“Fine, let's say hypothetically, you get there. You even manage to defeat them. But then you're there and you find out the only way to stop the destruction of Earth to reverse time. So you do. Then you go back to Earth, alive. You think you did it, right? You saved the day.”

“Your tone makes it sound like I didn't,” Velvet growled.

“You're right. You just killed yourself.”

“What?”

“Oh, you'll live. But the version of you that was already living there will have died. Or, if they weren't born yet, they won't ever come into existence. Do you think you can live with that? The good scenario is that everyone else will live, and the version of you who was aboard The Flashbulb's headquarters, will live. If you're lucky, the version of you that would have lived never ended up born. But that can't be guaranteed. Would you be comfortable if you knew you could have denied the version of you in that universe a chance at a good life?”

“How would you even know that?”

“It's not a written law, but one that is observable with enough experience. It has remained consistent throughout each version of Earth I've been in. If you go from your current universe to another, the version of you that was already there ceases to be.”

“So you went here, even after knowing that?”

“Yes. I was born in 1951. I'm half the age I should have been had I stayed put in my own time. I've already traveled through time several times before. Knowing that, because I came here, you can be certain that the version of me that belonged here is already dead. If she were so lucky, she died of old age.”

“Blanc, did you know about this, too?”

Blanc acted nonchalant once more. “Sure, I kinda figured something like that was the case. I came here, and before I did, the version of me that you knew died in Area 51. So it makes sense.”

“But that could just be a coincidence, right?”

“Hm...maybe. But that could also explain why you never saw several Conrads walking around at once. He probably kept going back in time to try to defeat The Flashbulb and save my life, and each time, the version of him that belonged there stopped living.”

“Why don't you sound so concerned about that?”

“It's not a big deal, right?” Blanc shrugged. “I mean, you're still alive, technically.”

“Point taken...”

I wasn't sure if it were I or Blanc who was more harsh in their delivery. Still, I took a sigh of relief.

“Now do you see the dilemma?”

Velvet gave a small nod.

“Will you give up this foolish endeavor?”

As stubborn as ever, she shook her head.

“I'm sorry. You keep saying it's near impossible, but I can't just sit quietly as this goes on. So maybe I defeat them, maybe I find a way to stop this apocalypse without turning back time, ever thought of that?”

Ugh. I hated how persistent she was. “Okay. You defeat them. You don't turn back time. You stop the destruction, which would take a fucking miracle, but let's just say you do. Well, the damage would still already be done. All the lives already lost wouldn't be coming back. If you take long enough, humanity may even go extinct. Then you have an empty, even if not destroyed, planet to go back to. Is that what you want? A lonely existence?”

“If I don't do that, then I'll let time turn back, but I'll just stay at The Flashbulb's headquarters and I won't return to Earth. Problem solved.”

“Then you'll still be isolated. Unable to go back to Earth. Oh, maybe you could go back after that Velvet dies however she'll go, but what if you meet someone who knew her? Or you go back to the far past, or the far future. Then you'll either be exposed to diseases, expose others to diseases, or face culture shock in a time you don't belong in. You could stay at their base with a finite amount of supplies and die there, isolated. Either way, there is no good ending.”

Before I could get Velvet's response, Blanc burst into laughter of their own.

“Oh my, you're sounding rather Etna-like!” Blanc pointed out.

“Excuse me?” I hissed. “It's not like I take pleasure in this! Do you think I wanted this disaster on Earth? If there was a perfect way, I would have said so!”

“Oh, you're such a drama queen,” Blanc continued. “You know it's not really all that bad!”

“Easy for you to say! You're not even from here!”

“You've told me enough,” Velvet spoke up again.

“Yes, I know it's hard to swallow, but--”

“No,” she interrupted. “I thank you for that. But I'm still going to do this. You can protest all you want, but nothing you have told me has convinced me to stop. At this point, doing anything would be a better outcome than doing nothing.”

“Might I remind you, the chance of failure is all but a guarantee,” I argued.

“Yes, I'm aware of the risks. But that's not going to stop me. Even if I fail, it will be something worth doing.”

“This isn't just about failure! They'll experiment on you! They'll turn you into a monster!”

“Ves, I mean, Verse. You gotta have more confidence in them,” Blanc's voice came in. “Velvet has raided Area 51. She's stolen a ship. She's even gone back there, when things were worse, and lived again. Didn't I tell you she was badass?”

I let out a deep breath. “Fine. She understands the risks, she still wants to go. It just so happens that I was planning on going there, anyway.”

“Perfect!” Velvet cheered.

“...But only you and I. No one else. Got that?”

“I'm coming with her,” Coriander added.

“We don't need any dead weight.”

“Sorry, but she and I are a package deal,” Velvet rebutted. “She and I are both going. We already promised each other we would.”

“Fine! But I won't be able to guarantee either of your guys' safety! The more people who come along, the greater risk there is.”

“Now that you mention it, I'd like to go there, too!” Blanc joined in. “I wasn't going to, but then I thought of it, and it seems neat! I didn't get to explore much of it last time!”

“...You can go there if you want. Not like I could stop you either way.”

“I'd like to check it out, too! It sounds like there'd be a buncha neat technoloy and gadgets!” Juniper also joined in the conversation.

“No. I explicitly forbid it.”

“What? Why not?”

“This isn't some game. It's not a museum and I'm not your tour guide.”

“But what about Blanc?” She pouted.

“Blanc is a special case.”

“I wanna be a special case, too!”

Damn it, just leave me alone! You're making this more complicated!

“I give up! You're all out of your minds! Whoever wants to go, can go. Sheesh. What a hassle. What about you, Trent?”

He looked the most shaken, which might have surprised me.

“I haven't made up my mind yet. I'd like to stay with my sister, but I'm just hesitant for some reason.”

“Fair. What I told you ought to have made you all hesitant.”

“Which is why,” Velvet broke in again. “We give it another day before we depart. Tomorrow, we formulate a plan. The day after, we depart. How does that sound?”

“Suit yourself. If I were you, I'd be in more of a rush, but if you need an extra day to think things over, go ahead.”

I sighed again. I couldn't believe they all talked me into this.

“Oh! Oh!” Juniper raised her hand. “You said you were from another universe, like Blanc. Does that mean that your wife is too?”

I would have preferred if anyone else had asked that, but of course it had to be her.

“Yes. That is why I'm not with her right now. Because I'm choosing to go hunt down an evil organization. It sounds silly out loud.”

“Kinda, yeah.”

“Trent,” I addressed. “I know you may not be feeling your best right now, but I'm going to need to ask if there's a free room to stay in.”

“Yeah, sure. Uh, the guest room, but it's pretty small and empty.”

“That will do.”

“Trent!” Juniper nudged. “We have another guest room with an actual bed in it! You could let her stay there!”

“Oh, right. Yeah, that's probably a better idea.”

“I'll take the empty room, but thank you for the offer.”

Later in the evening, everyone celebrated with dinner. I didn't hear what they had, I was already in the guest room, sitting. I refused to come out to eat. At one point, someone knocked at the door and let me know that dinner was ready, but I ignored them. As to who it was, I couldn't say. I remembered only the words, not the voice. Everyone else could do as they pleased, eat to their heart's content. All of it was too merry for me to join in on. They already knew my true nature, they knew what was in store.

While everyone else in the house was most likely asleep, I was restless as always. Coriander was a sweetie (when she wanted to be) and gave me all the loving I needed (again, when she wanted to) but it wasn't enough to keep me asleep nor keep my mind from racing at ten thousand miles an hour.

I slipped out from Coriander's embrace and managed to keep her asleep. She slept like a baby, and I only hoped she didn't wake up now that I wasn't underneath her.

“I need some fresh air or something,” I mumbled. Then again, I knew I wouldn't get that. I could already sense the rustling of someone downstairs. So, in an effort to investigate, I slipped on my bunny pajama tops and bottoms and made my way outside the bedroom.

What I expected them to call me the next morning was a coward.

I slipped out of the guest room and was about to leave their house when Blanc, on the couch, stopped me.

“Where are you off to?” They asked.

“I'm leaving. I cannot stay here.”

“Aw, but Velvet's really counting on you.”

“You can take her there yourself, can't you?”

“Yeah, you're right! Still, I gotta ask, why do you feel you gotta leave?”

“Because,” my voice broke as I began to speak. “It hurts too much to stay here. I know I said I was planning on going there, anyway, but now I'm the one who isn't up to the task. I would only be a hindrance if I were to stay.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I've been compromised. I don't know why or how, but I haven't been able to control my emotions like I used to. I may snap, I may burst into tears, but I feel like I can't keep myself together. I feel like I could end up crying at any moment and I don't know why.”

“It's okay to cry, y'know?”

“Maybe. Elsewhere.”

“Alrighty, I can't really stop you, y'know, but I really liked seeing you again. I'm sure the others will miss you, too!”

“Are you kidding? After that impression I gave earlier? I don't think so.”

“You just haven't given them a chance, that's all!”

“They're just strangers and reminders of my past mistakes. We're both better off away from each other.”

“Stop being so down on yourself! Didn't I say I don't consider you a failure?”

“Yes, well, I--”

“Yeah, yeah. How about this? Stay the night. If you want to leave any time tomorrow, go for it. Deal?”

“Fine,” I sighed. “But you should know it's going to take a lot to change my mind.”

“Goodnight, Ves.”

They turned back to lay down on the couch. I wondered if Blanc even slept at all ever since being what they are. As for me, I was going to head back to the guest room, which was more of a walk in closet, and sleep on the floor. There was just one more interruption to get through.

From down the stairs, came Velvet, in some sleepwear, no less.

“Hey, I see you're awake,” she spoke.

“Yes, but I was just came out to get some water,” I lied.

“I see.”

Well, if that was that, I could just try to get a little bit of sleep.

“I was your wife in the other universe, wasn't I?” She stopped me dead in my tracks.

“What? I don't even know you!”

“Wait, really? I thought for sure I'd get it right!” Velvet cried out. No regards for others' sleep, I see. “Come on, when do I get a wife?”

“I don't know. Why do you want a wife so bad?”

“Obviously so I can say during the big final battle 'before I die, tell my wife I love her'. Or, or! I could go into a restaurant and punch someone and yell 'Hey! That's my wife!' She doesn't even have to be there!”

“That's dumb,” I remarked.

“Well, what about you? Why did you get married?”

“I wanted to feel like I was a normal person. Like I had some sense of safety and stability.”

“What? And you said my reasons were dumb! No one's normal or stable just 'cause they're in a relationship! Like, you didn't do it out of love or anything?”

“Yes, I know it was foolish at the time. I know better now.”

Her face turned dour, as if she didn't like how I replied. Well, sorry. I wasn't good at telling jokes.

“Well, goodnight Verse.”

“Yes. Goodnight.”

She turned back up the stairs, but before I could walk away, she turned to me once more.

“By the way, everyone knows why Jupiter is a planet. They teach that in grade school.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

#happiness overload #long chapter #fiction #scifi #parallel universes #conspiracies #coriander #versace #versailles #vesuvius #etna #juniper #tea #cosmic horror #metaphysical #relationships

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