#unironically would write an essay on this

[wyllzel]

now THIS is interesting lyricism 👀📝

[22degreehalo]

The stereotypical 'harem anime protagonist' revolutionises and disrupts contemporary heterosexual norms in regards to romantic narratives. Rather than envisioning a stereotypically masculine power fantasy, the 'harem anime protagonist' instead cultivates a more realistic perspective, portraying its character as decidedly average in his abilities and looks, if not an outright outsider to normal society. In this way, rather than presenting romance as a quality 'earned' via successful displays of masculine superiority - a one-sided dynamic which all too often relegates women to be nothing more than narrative 'rewards' for the protagonist's achievements, taking the position less of individuals in their own right than of symbolic gatekeepers for hyper-masculine worthiness - it is instead portrayed as the result of burgeoning relationships between persons through quality time spent together.

Instead of expecting said love interests to be 'impressed' by the protagonist's successes (thus putting him on a pedestal above them, and enabling the masculine need to be 'better' than his partner), romantic feelings are nurtured realistically through shared interests and hobbies, and as a result of the protagonist's kindness and interest in helping said women with their life problems. Rather than man as conqueror, and romantic success as signifier of competitive superiority, romantic feelings are naturalised as contextual and mundane - as a normal and everyday fact of life that any person, regardless of social status, may be able to experience through commonplace bonds between relative equals and sincere concern for others' wellbeing.

Likewise, the 'harem anime protagonist' inverts the manic dream girl archetype; rather than existing to kickstart his own character development, the focus is almost entirely on the personalities and circumstances of the female love interest. If the protagonist 'earns' his relationships at all, it is not by displays of dominance or charisma, but through a genuine interest in their lives and willingness to help the women around them achieve their own personal goals. Said goals are often far grander than any the man himself could grasp at, again positioning the men in supportive, even submissive positions; rather than be turned off by this lack of traditional masculinity, the female characters are shown to find these very displays of kindness and supportiveness (typically feminine qualities) attractive, offering a different path for lonely and sensitive young men.

In this essay I w

[grimark]

the amount of cannibalism baiting that goes on in the locked tomb fandom makes me SICK. no, absorbing somebody's soul to become a lyctor is NOT cannibalism, i don't care how often the books themselves describe the act of soul consumption as eating you're still not LITERALLY CONSUMING THEM. i want to see meat or it doesn't count. gnawing on your cavalier's arm a bit or eating some of their hair also isn't good enough sorry. what harrow did with the bone marrow soup probably counts but that wasn't sexy, just funny and deranged.

[loveletterworm]

this will sound really pretentious but i remember like right after i played sh2 i got into a weird situation where i just kind of straight up hated reading anything anyone said about it online, because i felt like everyone was wrong about it except for me, and i also wouldn't want to talk about it because i also thought that i was wrong about it as well, i just kinda had the mindset that it was fundamentally impossible to say anything correct about that game no matter who you were or how hard you tried so i would just sit there thinking "Everyone is so wrong about this including me" which was kind of silly because it's a very noncommittal sounding opinion that i was somehow holding very strongly. It was on the PlayStation 2

[rirabeko]

Some of Baji's mischaracterization that gives me the ICK

It's 2024 and there are people out there who still can't understand Baji's character and mischaracterize him heavily, mostly because of the Bajifuyu ship.

DISCLAIMER: You can ship whoever you want. I'm just tired of seeing my favourite character constantly being mischaracterized because of toxic shippers. Also I'm not a shipper myself, I do not romanticize any of the relationships I mention below.

The biggest issue with Baji's character is the fact that Bajifuyu shippers (and sometimes just the fandom in general) constantly ignore Kazutora's role in Baji's life, meanwhile Kazutora made a huge impact on Baji's character. You can clearly see it not just in the anime or in the manga, but in the spin-off too.

Baji and Kazutora were that duo, they were a literal separated team within Toman. They met naturally, become friends instantly and spent most of their time together (many times without Toman). It's accepted by the fandom, that Kazutora's first real friend was Baji, but also Baji's first close friend was Kazutora.

Obviously Mikey and Baji were close as kids, but after Baji moved to a different place they weren't that close. I bet this is the reason why Baji didn't know about Shinichiro's bike shop, since when they met regularly Baji was a little kid and Shinichiro was a teenager without a bike shop. It also shows that Mikey and Baji aren't that close, they are more like childhood buddies than close friends.

I can talk about this for hours but now I only wrote it as a small disclaimer, before I get into my points, so let's go.

I am sick of it when:

they call Baji stupid (he literally outsmarted Kisaki, being smart not equals only book smart)

people headcanon him as a mean, aggressive, abusive bf (he is canonly no.1 best lover and he literally died because he has a heart of gold, let this bs go pls)

they can't understand the reason behind his suicide and make it a ship war (ICK)

people can't accept the fact Baji loves his friends differently, and not everyone is his bestie (it doesn't mean he does not love them, or prefers someone over the other but love can be different towards different people and it's absolutely normal!)

they make his character all about Bajifuyu (he is an individual, stop bringing up Chifuyu EVERYTIME when it comes to Baji. His character is much more than a guy in a dominant-submissive fanmade yaoi ship people like dragging him into!)

they make Chifuyu the good, perfect friend while constantly dragging Baji down and made him the bad guy in their relationship (I could write a whole essay just about this being a bullshit)

when they romanticize Bajifuyu (Baji canonly sees Chifuyu as a younger brother figure said by Baji's mom, but there are people out there who still believes unironically that they are in love... WHY?)

they ignore that Baji is very caring and affectionate not just towards Chifuyu, he is like this because these are his own personality traits. He behaves like this with everyone who's close to him. (Mikey, Kazutora, Ryuusei and just Toman in general)

people say Chifuyu was the only one who understood Baji's feelings and aims (the literal reason Baji died was because no one really understood his goals and behaviour, not even Chifuyu)

they romanticize Chifuyu's obsessiveness towards Baji (if Chifuyu was a girl, he would be cancelled for this behaviour immediately, but the double standard won again)

people make his death an opportunity to romanticize Bajifuyu (biggest ICK)

they say Baji is only distant with Chifuyu beacuse he is a tsundere (there are so many situations when Chifuyu truly annoys Baji, e.g. he said it many times that Chifuyu's infatuation really disturbs him and asked Chifuyu to stop)

Bajifuyu shippers ignore and hate Kazutora just because he disturbs their ship

they say Baji was a bad influence to Kazutora (Kazutora hung out with gangs even before he met Baji, he was already a part of the underworld. the reason Kazutora turned out that way was his abusive father and his horrible childhood in general. Baji literally saved him, and he could finally be himself around Baji without any judgement or harassment)

they ignore or even DENY Bajitora's bond because of Bajifuyu

they accept Bajifuyu, Kazufuyu or even the Bajitrio but HATE Bajitora (the biggest bullshit ever)

they can't recognise the fanservice of Bajifuyu and calls them canon because of the clear fanservice acts

people think Bajitora is one sided (more Baji sided) meanwhile Tora loves Baji more than his own life and shows it many times how much he loves Baji and how much Baji means to him

they accept that Chifuyu never changed his hairstyle after Baji made it for him (and obviously they romanticize it) but they are hating because Kazutora looked exactly like Baji in bad toman timeline

people ignore Bajitora and always forgets that they are very close to each other in every timeline. the new panels Wakui drew were also about Kazutora putting Chifuyu to his place after Chifuyu completly ignored Tora and disturbed his time with his best friend. (we all know Kazutora is very possessive with Baji for obvious reasons and does not tolerate being disrespected by someone)

The list could go on and on but these are the main problems I still see in this fandom when it comes to Baji's character.

I'm tired of seeing this amazingly well-written character turns into a boring, abusive, mean guy by the fandom who is only an abuser in a toxic fanmade yaoi ship.

SIDE NOTE:

To all the people who dislike him/call him mean and aggressive because he beat Chifuyu up:

This anime is based on a manga which takes place in the early 2000's gangster world in Japan. He is the captain of the 1st division, he is the leader, and his role is not just to be the strongest in the division but also to manage his team, bc this is also what a leader does. If someone is disrespectful, breaks the rules and shows a bad example to the others he has to punish them. In this world this is how things go. This won't make him a bad person, or an aggressive jerk. Baji can be very calm and collected when it comes to leading his division. He is a very good leader, who takes care of his teammates, so no surprise he is really loved by his division. 

Also when he beat Chifuyu up before joining Valhalla: he hated himself for doing that. But he had to, he had no other choice. And Chifuyu had every right to stand up against Baji and tell him he's not doing it. But since Chifuyu never questions Baji's decisions as the captain of the first division he agreed with this one too, and also because he wanted to help him. Chifuyu knew exactly what he was doing when he let Baji doing this to him, and he went along with it. Stop bringing this up everytime and use it against Baji.

[ohmtoff]

you made me think ab nerd nick too damn much its concerning. imagine jerking him off while he yaps ab his geeky stuff, stuttering and his words slurring when you squeeze around his tip

ANON…. youre actually my soulmate how did we think of the same thing (nsfw)

nerdy nick who’s far sighted so he regularly wears his glasses that make his eyes look bigger and just adorable. his wardrobe consists of graphic tees and hoodies that fit him awkwardly and his hair is most of the time disheveled.

nerdy nick whose budget goes to cosplay and comic con because those things are expensiveee and his brothers try their hardest to support him by helping him make the costumes (imagine nick unironically doing the anime hands thing around chris and matt and they try not to cringe LMFAOOOOO).

nerdy nick who yaps soooo much about his interests, from lord of the rings lore to his fav doctor from doctor who. i can just IMAGINE him making video essays complaining ab the new live action avatar series and how it doesnt hold up to the original series.

nerdy nick who’s the same sassy and witty guy as we know but he also puts that energy to defend his fav characters on the internet. best believe he has a stan account. many of his tattoos are dedicated to his comfort characters as well.

nerdy nick whose interests look innocent to others but behind closed doors he regularly reads and writes the most sheet gripping, back arching, toe curling smut about his fav fictional men. erwin from aot, thorin from the hobbit, ALL of jujutsu kaisen. he furiously stroked his dick to the thought of getting fucked dumb by nanami.

nerdy nick who acted normal and talks about regular stuff when he first met you but when he gets comfortable with you he immediately starts yapping. you think he’s just the most adorable thing when his eyes light up when talking about all his interests. you don’t even know what he’s talking about but your attention is hooked. nick, however, was used to people pretending to care about what he’s talking about so he stops himself.

“i’m sorry. ugh, i always talk too much, that was weird and boring”

“no, no, it’s fine. so… uruk-hais are bred between orcs and humans?”

nick wanted to suck your dick right then and there.

having sex with anime playing in the background was not rare between you two. one time, you both were watching an episode when you got distracted by how his tongue was peeking out with concentration. you noticed how fat his tongue was and how red his lips were. those same lips were wrapped around your cock not long after that. nick was gagging and moaning around it, his eyes bubbling up with tears streaming down his flushed cheeks as he jerked you off from the base. saliva would drip from his mouth, running down his chin as he struggled to take everything down. he was still wearing those same glasses, sliding down his nose from the sweat. he looks up at you with those big puppy eyes, tears running down his face. the sight makes you groan and shove your dick further into his throat. you thought he looked absolutely beautiful with cum streaks on his glasses.

nerdy nick who sometimes rambles too much and in these times you love teasing him. “come on, baby, tell me more,” you whispered to the back of his ear as he writhed and thrashed on your chest, pants gone and his swollen cock red and dripping as you squeezed the base. “time- time lords have two hearts, so,” he lets out a pathetic whine, “so the doctor never dies, he—mmnghh—they instead regenerate into a new body-AH-“ you squeeze and dug your thumb into his leaking tip. his chest heaves and he pants like a dog. “fu—uck, please, please, please. i wann- i wanna cum, oh please.” you think he deserves it so you quicken your strokes and let him cum. his mouth releasing unintelligible noises while those beautiful blue eyes go cross eyed.

nerdy nick who becomes your person and who you will go to endless comic cons with, watch a new series with, and who eventually will turn you into an even bigger nerd than he is😩🤞🏼

a/n: i wrote this without pause wtf

[txttletale]

Your discussions on AI art have been really interesting and changed my mind on it quite a bit, so thank you for that! I don’t think I’m interested in using it, but I feel much less threatened by it in the same way. That being said, I was wondering, how you felt about AI generated creative writing: not, like AI writing in the context of garbage listicles or academic essays, but like, people who generate short stories and then submit them to contests. Do you think it’s the same sort of situation as AI art? Do you think there’s a difference in ChatGPT vs mid journey? Legitimate curiosity here! I don’t quite have an opinion on this in the same way, and I’ve seen v little from folks about creative writing in particular vs generated academic essays/articles

i think that ai generated writing is also indisputably writing but it is mostly really really fucking awful writing for the same reason that most ai art is not good art -- that the large training sets and low 'temperature' of commercially available/mass market models mean that anything produced will be the most generic version of itself. i also think that narrative writing is very very poorly suited to LLM generation because it generally requires very basic internal logic which LLMs are famously bad at (i imagine you'd have similar problems trying to create something visual like a comic that requires consistent character or location design rather than the singular images that AI art is mostly used for). i think it's going to be a very long time before we see anything good long-form from an LLM, especially because it's just not a priority for the people making them.

ultimately though i think you could absolutely do some really cool stuff with AI generated text if you had a tighter training set and let it get a bit wild with it. i've really enjoyed a lot of AI writing for being funny, especially when it was being done with tools like botnik that involve more human curation but still have the ability to completely blindside you with choices -- i unironically think the botnik collegehumour sketch is funnier than anything human-written on the channel. & i think that means it could reliably be used, with similar levels of curation, to make some stuff that feels alien, or unsettling, or etheral, or horrifying, because those are somewhat adjacent to the surreal humour i think it excels at. i could absolutely see it being used in workflows -- one of my friends told me recently, essentially, "if i'm stuck with writer's block, i ask chatgpt what should happen next, it gives me a horrible idea, and i immediately think 'that's shit, and i can do much better' and start writing again" -- which is both very funny but i think presents a great use case as a 'rubber duck'.

but yea i think that if there's anything good to be found in AI-written fiction or poetry it's not going to come from chatGPT specifically, it's going to come from some locally hosted GPT model trained on a curated set of influences -- and will have to either be kind of incoherent or heavily curated into coherence.

that said the submission of AI-written stories to short story mags & such fucking blows -- not because it's "not writing" but because it's just bad writing that's very very easy to produce (as in, 'just tell chatGPT 'write a short story'-easy) -- which ofc isn't bad in and of itself but means that the already existing phenomenon of people cynically submitting awful garbage to literary mags that doesn't even meet the submission guidelines has been magnified immensely and editors are finding it hard to keep up. i think part of believing that generative writing and art are legitimate mediums is also believing they are and should be treated as though they are separate mediums -- i don't think that there's no skill in these disciplines (like, if someone managed to make writing with chatGPT that wasnt unreadably bad, i would be very fucking impressed!) but they're deeply different skills to the traditional artforms and so imo should be in general judged, presented, published etc. separately.

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

R. M. Renfield

Mentally ill queer man writes mentally ill queer character. 200 years later, Dracula Daily happens and everyone in their mother immediately starts poking fun at him, demonizing him, or treating him like a naive child when none of these things are true. I could write a darn essay about Renfield and his role in the story. His status as a servant of Dracula is kept hidden from our heroes despite how obvious it is to the modern reader, and it turns into a striking example of dramatic irony. But at the same time, he's not a simpering servant; he's psychotic and Dracula feeds his delusion for his own gain. His death isn't a sacrifice, it's a tragic end to a story about the effects of isolation on the mind and the suffering that can come about from people refusing to listen to those who aren't like them. Pretty damned amusing, then, that absolutely no one seems to listen to the words that come out of his mouth.

Izzy Hands

people hate this guy. people HATE this guy. and for what? "hes abusive" you are out of your MIND if you actually think that. let middle aged men be messy jilted lovers, goddamn!!!!

Oh my gods, fandom has lost their minds with this one. People act like Izzy is the devil himself and actually it's his fault that the main love interest of the show has ever done anything wrong ever. Every bad thing in the show? Actually Izzy's fault. I've seen people literally, actually say he deserved his abuse and that it's his fault his abuser hurt him and that he liked it. I have seen people unironically say that his abuser should have killed him. I've seen people say that Edward Teach (y'know, literal Blackbeard who explicitly says in canon, with his mouth, "I love a good maim" would never have done anything violent ever if it wasn't for Izzy's manipulation. This is, of course, ignoring that Ed's first acts if violence were before he ever even met Izzy

So Ed and Izzy have a toxic relationship and do bad stuff to each other. And Izzy fans will minimize the shit Izzy did while bringing up what he suffered. And Ed fans will maximize the shit Izzy did and forgot the rest. Honestly I'm might be bringing a lot of anger on the blog for this, sorry.

[carefulfears]

knowing you, you have probably talked about it before but i’d really love to know what you think about mulder’s savior/sacrificial lamb complex. i think it was csm that mentioned in amor fati that mulder’s hero complex would be the end of him one way or the other and it always reminds me of this essay “the gods show up” where the “tragic hero” is described as a human who’s by fate already dead, but keeps talking and trying for the sake of something bigger anyway (aka that post where you said mulder belongs to scully but that just ends up being the reason for her hurt because he also belongs to something bigger that doesn’t care for his well being). strangely it also reminds me of that interview where dd said “mulder is a guy who has been given the problems as jesus” lol.

this is such a beautiful question...the first thing that you have to understand is that i genuinely view fox mulder as a benevolent second coming of christ and every written word stems from the point of view of its author, so. the second is that i think duchovny had an understanding of the character that made that story/franchise what it was and his description of a "profoundly human model of christ" in writing the base-work of amor fati (a conflict between larger purpose and desire for normal life) is as unironically insightful as it is extremely funny. the third is that when mr. x shoves mulder against the wall of the hospital garage in one breath and tells him "i used to be you. but you're not me, mulder, i don't think you have the heart" - it's as much endorsement as it is damnation.

if you look at these two quotes from the amor fati dream

CSM to mulder: "You've suffered enough - for the X-Files, for your partner, for the world. You're not Christ. You're not Prince Hamlet. You're not even Ralph Nader. You can walk out of this hospital and the world will forget you."

and later, mulder to diana: "I have commitments-- to the X-Files, to Scully, to my sister."

CSM is meant to be playing the role of the literal last temptation, the snake-like figure that has to lead his prey astray. but those three things that mulder still has his sights on (the x-files, scully, samantha) are three things that nobody else is dedicated to. nobody else is going to keep those cases open and search for answers and care about those victims. nobody else is scully's partner: working with her, looking after her, fighting with and for her. nobody else is inspiring her. nobody else is remembering his sister, missing her, looking for her. the mother that leaves him in a hospital room in this episode, is burning last signs of life a few chapters later.

i've seen people argue that the problem with this episode and its larger arc is that "CSM is right and the episode thinks he's wrong" but i don't think he is right. i don't think he thinks he's right. i think he's doing a job and mulder is doing a job, both playing their roles, and his thesis is that mulder has done "enough" and suffered "enough" for his list of commitments- but what's enough when no one is gonna tag you out? when the speaker is waiting for a clear shot? (i'm reminded here of one of my favorite audries fic lines: "he sits on the bed, the line of his shoulders going curved and uneven. even hercules would have dropped the weight of this world.")

which is all to say (and remember my point#1 at the top), that i wouldn't describe mulder's "savior complex" as even really being a complex, i think it's just the world. i used to talk about sometimes how moving it is to me that mulder was born into this world and was always going to die for this cause and the story is about people who choose to follow. who have every opportunity available to them and want to do this work at any cost. who won't leave him in it alone, at any cost.

it's scully at the end of the road saying that she would do it "all over again."

it's skinner's "if given the choice between advancing my career by being blindly loyal to some faceless puppeteers pulling strings from the shadows, or to throw in with you two, make no mistake about it. i'd make the same decision every single damn time."

and anon i really love that quote you shared, which is from the gods show up by michael kinnucan: "The center of every tragedy is the image of a human being who has already died but keeps talking, someone whose face is a mask."

which, as you alluded, is what i define as the tragedy of mulder's character. that he was always going to die for the cause he was born into ("there is no other version of this story") and perhaps more tragic: that people depend on him, at any cost. that scully dedicates her life to someone who will list her as his tethering responsibility, but who doesn't belong to her. cannot be predominantly responsible to her, of her. harsh punishment for fruitful crimes.

[shewhopats]

Overwatch characters watching your kid

I've been thinking about writing some silly short stories about OW characters getting stuck watching someone's kid, but I figured I would make this guide for my headcannon for the kind of babysitter each of them would be.

Brigitte and Reinhardt would make you the most nervous with their methods. Lots of rough-housing, throwing them around and into the air, giving your kid sugar, letting them climb things, and overall just encouraging mayhem and rule-breaking. "You mom/dad doesn't let you do this at home? Well, they're not here, are they?" Your kid will come home thoroughly exhausted, but bitter about you not being as fun as they are.

Orisa would make the same mistakes as Brigitte and Reinhardt, but more out of ignorance and inexperience. Like letting your kid stay up too late, because she doesn't understand why going to bed at a decent time is important, or feeding them something that makes them sick because that's what they said they wanted to eat. Unintentionally lets your kid walk all over her, but once you teach her how it's done, she'll be your go-to option when you need a break.

Zenyatta would be so intrigued by the natural imagination and curiosity of children. He'd provide lots of different toys, art supplies, and time for unrestricted and uninstructed play. A one-man enrichment program. Just don't try to tell him there are boy toys and girls toys. Your kid will be allowed to play with whatever they want. He would also unironically have a blast playing pretend with dolls or action figures. I'm talking a 25-part narrative with backstories, lore, worldbuilding, and an Endgame-style final conflict.

Genji, Kiriko, Tracer, and B.O.B would be the kings and queens of "don't tell your parents." Extra screen-time, taking them out for ice cream, staying up a little later then their normal bedtime, etc. What I would call "a healthy amount of rule-breaking." They have everyone else convinced they are Responsible™ but you can't help noticing that your kid is always excited to hangout with them.

Ana and Torbjorn could be depended on the same way you can trust grandma and grandpa. They've had kids, so they know all the tips, tricks, and games to keep your kid clean, fed, safe, and happy. Just don't tell them some dumb shit like "organic, non-gmo fruits only." Your kid will be eating bananas from the supermarket like everyone else. But for more sensible rules, even the ones they don't agree with, they will follow them.

Echo will make you fill out a 200-question survey and write an essay on how you want your kid cared for. She will follow every instruction down to the letter, and send you updates every 30 minutes. If your kid sneezes, she will call you to ask about it. The downside is your kid will probably hate her for being such a rules monger.

Baptiste, Illari, Lucio, and Sojourn would try so hard to be responsible and follow your instructions, but puppy-eyes work on them 80% of the time. Your home will look like a warzone when you get back, but they'll help you clean up.

Lifeweaver, Pharah, Mei, and Zarya would get a whiff of that specific smell babies have that makes your DNA scream at you to make one yourself. They would be the sweetest, most gentle caretakers on this list. They'll spend most of the time snuggling on the couch, watching T.V. and drinking hot coco. Would let your kid give them a makeover, paint their nails, and play with their hair. Would read to and rock them to sleep, tuck them in really snug. They'd probably look forward to seeing your kid again, and every time you happen upon one of them, they'll only ask what's going on with the kiddo.

Sombra, Symmetra, and Widowmaker would rather be water-boarded then spend five minutes with those sticky-fingered cunt goblins you call kids.

Ashe, Hanzo, and Winston would happily agree to babysit for you, thinking they will be serviceable at it. How hard could it be? Then an hour later they call you, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and beg you to come back, because your kid is crying or throwing a tantrum. They definitely have the potential to be great caretakers, but they would need someone to walk them through it at first.

Bastion and Sigma definitely WANT to give babysitting a try, but they understand why that's probably not a safe idea. They would question your intelligence if you asked them.

Cassidy and D.va would take your kid to McDonalds or somewhere else with else with a play-place, and let them go wild while they sit on a bench nearby. They will do the bare minimum amount of work to keep your kid alive, because they have better things to do. Would only babysit as a favor for you if no one else is available.

Mercy is married to her work, and Ramattra is dedicated to his mission. If you somehow convince them to watch your kid for even a single hour, they'll set-up a playpen with whatever toys they like, toss in a sippy cup and snack every now and then, and ignore their existence while they do their usual business.

Doomfist, Moira, Reaper, and Soldier: 76 would tape your kid to a chair the first time it annoys them. I know there's the fandom joke of S76 being the dad of the team, but he's always come off as grumpy and impatient to me.

Your kid would love the junkers (Junker Queen, Junkrat, Roadhog, Wrecking Ball) for all the wrong reasons. They would teach your kid how to make a grenade launcher out of plastic bottles and rubber bands, 37 new swear words, and how to punch people in the throat. Unless you want to get a call from the school about your kid blowing up the chemistry room, I would choose literally anyone else to babysit.

Mauga would use your kids to get dates. He'll take your daughter to a dance class and talk to any single parents about how much of a family man he is and how difficult being a single dad. He'll take your son to play catch in a park so he has an excuse to take his shirt off and flex his muscles. He'll coach your kid to walk up to someone and say, "my uncle thinks your pretty, so maybe you can play with us."

[la-pheacienne]

There is something that has always rubbed the wrong way about the terms of the hotd/fire and blood discourse and particularly how political it always is. Misogyny accusations are super popular and they are being thrown by both sides because they are faster, they are catchy and it's a lot easier to do that than sit down and talk about themes, narrative and consistency under a neutral light. The problem is they often get in the way of a more in depth analysis of media and I say that to myself first and foremost because I do it too. When I say misogyny accusations, I am not only talking about literal accusations (aka if you support team green/black you are a misogynist), I also include all the takes that resemble the following: "my take is better/more accurate than yours because it is more politically progressive/radical/revolutionary/healthy/enlightened/yadayada than yours". Both sides use this, and they use this A LOT. It is almost impossible to take part in discourse over fire and blood/hotd/asoiaf without including this perspective. I'm not saying we should abolish this perspective and never talk about it again, it is always interesting to take this into account. But let's pause for a second and just try to put this on the side just for a little bit. What are we left with? Oh yeah. We are left with the raw materials of the story. Let's talk about that, and only that, just for a little while.

Yes, fire and blood includes a dichotomy between a good woman and a bad woman (although it doesn't exactly do that and this is a very simplistic way of looking at the story). Yes this dichotomy is an old concept. Yes the wicked stepmother is an old concept as well, rooted in ancient patriarcal societal norms and dynamics we are all more or less familiar with, some less than others.

Is this dynamic, which is at the core of fire and blood, politically progressive/radical/subversive? Probably not (huge objection there but I said I will not talk about politics in this post).

Is it a better story than hotd? Yes. It is.

Does it make more sense than hotd? Yes. It does.

I am sorry. There is absolutely no way hotd has more sense than fire and blood. Even if one qualifies it as a more inspired, progressive, unexpected, intresting retelling/revisiting of the original, this will never, ever make it a good story in an organic way.

There is absolutely no way to seriously, unironically argue that going from "we play an ugly game. i see you have the determination to win it" to Alicent usurping Rhaenyra because of a misunderstanding in the span of one episode is a better narrative and makes more sense than whatever happened in fire and blood. It makes Alicent a victim of circumstances, it breaks the dichotomy or the wicked stepmother trope or whatever you want it to break, and all that is cool, but it doesn't make a better story than the one we got in fire and blood.

There is absolutely no way to seriously claim that Alicent being sexually harassed by her servant makes a better story than her controlling her servant. It is not something that would actually happen in real life under any circumstances whatsoever. It is extremely forced, weird and overall nonsensical (not to mention politically problematic for 100 reasons because again, I will not talk politics in this post). The average viewer that does not wish to write essays about how politically enlightened it is to "break the dichotomy" will look at this scene and say "what the fuck is that". Would showing Alicent owning her role as QUEEN and playing the game be reminiscent of Cersei and thus "repetitive"? Yes. Would it make a better story? Yes. I'm sorry, but it is the truth.

There is absolutely no fucking way to make the page scene make sense. It will never make sense. A ruler that has just been usurped has the chance to execute the traitor and doesn't do it because the traitor shows her a page of a book. Right. She has just lost her baby because of them, she has lost her father, she has lost her throne, she has lost everything that was important to the life she has been sharing for ages with a man and their 20 children but a page would matter to her more than all of these things put together. Right. You can call this an uber sophisticated/inspired lesbian drama/women being caught in the crossfire of men's wars or whatever you want it to call it but it will never, ever be a better moment than "Tell my half-brother I'll have my throne or I'll have his head". It will never be a better story, not because it is more or less politically conservative/progessive, but for the simple reason that it is nonsensical. Whether a story makes sense or not has absolutely nothing to do with ideology. This particular moment does not resonate with basic human experience, it does not resonate with how female rulers behaved in history. It is bad, very bad writing. Daemon's "the fuck is this" is the only logical reaction to this and it is the reaction shared by the average viewer. Indeed, the fuck is this.

Thing is, you might wanna twist the raw materials of a story you consider boring/conservative/repetitive but that will never make for a better story, because there is no truth in it. """Wicked stepmothers""" existed and still exist. Good women vs bad women exist because good people vs bad people exist and women are people. Their honest confrontation rings true to the viewer in a way hotd's narrative never will. Because it makes sense. It is organic. It has a truth hotd doesn't have. And again I use this supposed dichotomy of fire and blood with a huge asterisk because Rhaenyra is not that pure perfect unfallible character. Alicent being Alicent would perhaps be a repetitive Cersei copy but she would still make a better character than whatever we got. She would perhaps have less importance in the narrative but it's okay because the story doesn't need Alicent to have that much of an importance. It is a good story regardless.

You can preach about how inspired/progressive it is to have women be forcefully carried in the middle of a men's war that they never wanted but that will never make it a better story than a Targaryen woman fighting with her half-brothers for her throne, her life and the life of her children and her husband she has spent a lifetime with.

I got this from David Mamet, On directing film, p. 60 and I think it applies well.

[submalevolentgrace]

imagine if i'd written a post that said "i'm queer, and i'm sick of people trying to fix my queerness, prayer and conversion therapy doesn't work and just makes our lives worse"

and then i got a flood of notes saying "yeah we just need to invest more research and come up with better therapies to help queers become normal again" and an ask from an amateur psychologist wanting to know how they could develop a more effective conversion therapy and i answer trying to explain that being queer isn't actually a problem itself, the problem is how other people treat me, and then that post gets notes saying "yeah we need more research into better conversions for poor queer people"

and then imagine i got an ask about how to write more authentic conversion stories for queer characters, so i finally snapped a wrote a 5000 word essay very kindly and gently trying to explain, in very delicate baby steps, that the problem isn't that conversion therapy sucks but that it's actually good to be queer, and you all need to stop writing characters going through conversion therapy for cool points and seriously please just accept us for being queer and let us be queer

and then imagine i got hundreds of notes on that post of people going "oh i have a queer oc i am so glad i can write her conversion journey to straightness better now" and "brightney and jacyn my ocs i love my queer-to-straight babies but i guess i need to rewrite their conversion storylines" and "okay but my world necessitates perfect conversion therapy to make people straight so that faeries can exist, so i guess i need to work out how that would affect writing a queer character in conversion now" and somehow you all say it completely unironically and i'm not allowed to murder you all

that's what my notes about prostheses are like rn

just fucking admit you only care about disabled people as props and aesthetics, and not human beings

[supercalime]

all those interviews are fun even with hardcore stans speculation but god i wish they kinda stopped.

like, stop having stans interviewing actors in the first place, what do you mean they talk about couch theory? are we even serious right now? it’s obvious people are going to create even weirder hc after all these interviews.

I understand the interviewers (to a degree) bringing up b*ddie and baiting Oliver and Ryan to “leak” information or address how they are defenders of the ship, as it obviously makes dramatic headlines, which causes engagement, which advertises the show and by extent the website/reporter that did the interview.

Just a bit off topic but it has to be said: most of the interviews are borderline unprofessional. Not just with the aspect of bringing up b*ddie when the recent storyline has nothing to do with eddie but also relying their questions on stereotypes about the queer community (someone unironically asked Oliver who’s buck’s favorite pop diva now that he’s queer. Like wtf).

Anyway, going back to the mess haha. I’m not surprised the stans are acting this way (I’m very new to this fandom but not to fandoms and their discourses). I’m sometimes very invested in media and there are times I do extrapolate and need to touch grass. Sometimes I feel like people who are this invested in a fictional relationship that’s not even canon just need to find a different outlet for intense feelings, and not rely on things that are out of their control.

Of course fan reaction can influence a story being told, however fans have to also know how to approach it while being respectful. In all honesty, if I were writing a show and I finally went with a storyline I wasn’t allowed to write before because the network previously denied, and that was how the fans of a ship reacted, I would be pissed. I think I would not have b*ddie be a thing out of spite.

The bi!buck/bucktommy storyline is a huge step forward for a tv show in this scale. In fact, I can’t remember other procedurals that have as many queer main characters as 911/911 lone star. It’s been said, but a story about this very masculine man that has been known as a womanizer figuring out he’s bisexual well into his thirties and in the seventh season of a very popular show that is not part of a specific niche is important and should be celebrated on its own, regardless of ships or whatever the fans have to say about the partner choice.

But let’s be real for a second as I end my little essay here. If you know a single thing about writing, you know you can’t just throw a love story without buildup and as hard as it is to accept, the interactions between buck and eddie seemed to have always been ambiguous on purpose, and buck being maybe into guys was more played off as a joke. I know the fans want the ship to happen, but if they want this love story to happen, they gotta be patient. Just commenting “we don’t like this. We want buddie!” on an ig post about tevan won’t make the story suddenly turn into that direction.

What I’m saying won’t change anyone’s mind but whoever reads until the end, I want yall to know that unfortunately every fandom is like this and we gotta try our best to stay out of the discourse cause in all seriousness: none of this matters. It’s a show and arguing about it, bothering the actors, commenting annoying things on ig won’t change anything.

[rise-my-angel]

Rhaegar and Lyanna shippers and their stans are their own worse enemy. If they stopped being so weird about both they would probably not get that much shit from the fandom, but instead they have to write dumb metas/essays about how Rhaegar isn't problematic and RxL isn't problematic. But they are so weak that they can't even admit it, it's honestly pathetic.

People ship so many wack pairings and stan so many insane characters, that their dedication to forcing Rhaeyla to be romantic, ended up shooting themselves in the foot. It could easily be a gross ship that most people ignore, but they are so passionate about Rhaegar being the best guy protagonist that it ruins it.

Rhaegar was an emo loser who had no friends and was obsessed with prophecy. He put his wife through 2 dangerous back to back pregancies then kidnapped a child and impregnated her by force. Then he got crushed to death with a hammer by a guy with antlers on his helmet. He is a creepy asshole loser.

But if they just admitted that, then I wouldn't care as much. I love Euron Greyjoy but I would be the first person to sprint full speed and drop kick him off the top of the Wall. I've never defended him and I never will, but he's still one of my favorite characters. I'd rather beat him to death with my bare hands before pretending he isn't a complete irredeemable monster. Which makes my discussions about him not really offensive because I have never pretended his flaws are defendable.

People still get away with shipping Sansa and Sandor, another child girl/adult man pairing, so why do Rhaelyas stand out? Because they refuse to agnowedge a single thing about their ship being gross and problematic.

I get the idea of Jon being born from rape is an undesirable thing to think about, but at least if the shippers owned that fact as horrible, I could look passed their cringe fanart posts.

This is a series full of horrible people who should never be shipped together, but still are. Its the common denominator of trying to white knite for indefensible characters that bothers me.

Rhaegar sucks. Its okay to still like him though. But he shouldn't be defended. I make fun of Euron Greyjoy every single chance I get and hes one of my favorite characters.

I challenge Rhaegar/Rhaeyla stans to unironically do the same. It's fun dunking on characters you like.

I literally refer to Jon Snow as a caught in the rain wet dog asking to come back inside. Its not a compliment, I'm making fun of him. Its fun to mock things you like.

I just want them to understand it's fine to not defend things you like to the point it drives everyone else away from your ship or character.

I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE REALITY THAT SHOW ONLY FANS THINK THE EURON GREYJOY I LOVE WAS MR HOT TOPIC BIG COCK MAN. I LEAN INTO IT THOUGH BECAUSE ITS FUNNY. JUST OWN WHEN YOUR FAVES ARE GROSS AND PATHETIC.

[merakiui]

HOW DO U THINK THE TWST BOYS TYPE 😭😭 I know riddle uses punctuation to the max but honestly I'm tryna figure out if azul would as well. and I feel like ace, floyd, and kalim would use a bunch of emojis (ace and floyd use them ironically, kalim uses them unironically LMAOO) but im not sure about the others... maybe leona would be the type to just give curt replies and power off his phone. idia would leave u on read intentionally, and malleus would do it unintentionally. IMAGINE MALLEUS SENDING RANDOM PICTURES BY ACCUDENT WHILE TRYING TO TYPE A REAPONSE EHSJCJJS honestly I feel like epel might be a bit of a spam texter ngl... BUT WHAT DO U THINK. I AM HANDS-AND-KNEES-ON-THE-FLOOR DESPERATE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY IMPORTANT MATTER

OOOOOO do I have many thoughts to share!!!! >:D

Riddle types stiffly and grammatically correct because he believes one's texting style reflects their maturity level. So you can expect full sentences with punctuation. He most likely didn't have emojis downloaded onto his messenger (it's Cater who shows them to him), and after he gets them he might use an emoji or two to get a point across. He often ends written threats (most often beheadings) with the smiling emojis, but he doesn't overuse emojis.

Trey is friendly and polite when he texts. I get the impression he doesn't text very often and instead prefers phone calls, but when he does text his tone is always warm even through the screen. Very sweet. He also uses emojis, but he doesn't use them nearly as often. He might overuse the dessert emojis because he likes those the most.

Cater is always typing (and even talking) in texting slang and abbreviations. He uses emojis and hashtags. I wouldn't be surprised if he uses pretty fonts for his Magicam captions. He strikes me as the type to send multiple messages if it's to someone he's close with. His tone is always friendly and casual.

Deuce texts stiffly with upperclassman or anyone he has a lot of respect for, but with friends (especially Ace) he's very, very casual. Probably bickers over text with Ace. Might curse once or twice in text and instigate fights if he's particularly riled up.

Ace is another casual texter. The type to send multiple messages just to annoy you if he knows you're busy. He's always texting you for homework answers. The group chat ghosts him when he begs for homework and essay answers lol. I like to think he might gossip through text every now and then, if only to keep things interesting in the group chat.

Leona either leaves you on read or has very terse responses. His texting style is so boring and dry. T_T most of the time he's sleeping. He probably has 500+ unread messages because he can't be bothered to check. If it's something important, just say it to his face or call him.

Ruggie texts fairly casually. He isn't as stiff as Riddle and he won't leave you on read (most of the time). He's busy a lot, so he doesn't text often and it takes a while for him to read his messages. He usually texts you if he wants something. <3 he uses emojis, but it's usually if he's being sarcastic or he needs to respond quickly and can only offer a thumbs-up emoji.

Jack is also another texter with curt, stiff replies. He texts like how he speaks, so there isn't much difference. He rarely uses emojis and he doesn't use any abbreviations or slang.

Azul texts politely and grammatically correct with everyone because he believes one's texting style represents the type of person they are. He wants to show everyone he is a refined gentleman. With Jade and Floyd, his texting style is far more casual because they're close friends. He might use an emoji or two if it's fitting, but outside of that he's polite and respectful.

Jade texts much like how he speaks as well. He's considerably casual with Floyd and Azul for the same reason mentioned above, but even then he's still polite. He might use emojis when texting with Floyd and Azul. Jade has a tendency to write some of the most disturbing things and finish it with a :) no cute smile emoji. It's literally the haunting :) and some might say he overuses it... ;;;

Floyd texts casually and immaturely with everyone. He uses emojis, abbreviations, all-caps. He sends multiple messages at a time and spams your phone whenever he's in the mood. He likes to send a lot of gifs and images, too. He's shameless with it. Sometimes he'll even send links or images of erotic toys in the group chat he has with Jade and Azul and ask what they think. Sends a photo of the most monstrous dildo he's found online and asks: "Ya think this would fit in Shrimpy?" and without fail Jade always replies, "No harm in trying. :)" Azul will beat the life out of them; they're always discussing the ways in which they can break his angelfish! >:(

Kalim texts very casually. Also a spam texter. He uses all-caps when he's excited. He overuses emojis. Also the type to send lots of images in group chats or even one-on-one chats.

Jamil texts politely with everyone because it's important to look and sound respectful, even through a screen. Even if some of his peers get on his nerves and he'd rather verbally destroy them through text. He tends to send curt messages that usually get his points across. He sees no need to continue conversations he'd rather not have, so he often texts only what's necessary.

Vil texts much like how he speaks. There is always an elegance to his words, but that's because every inch of him is beautiful and elegant. Naturally this would extend to his texting style. He never uses too much or too little of something, so he will use emojis when it's fitting. He doesn't use abbreviations often, but every now and then you might get a rare lol from him.

Rook texts very passionately. He may send multiple messages at a time because too much is never enough for him. Definitely uses all sorts of French words when texting, so it's quite reminiscent of how he speaks in his daily life. I don't think he would use abbreviations or slangs, but he does use the flower and sparkle emojis to further express himself.

Epel texts casually with his friends. He'll use slang with them. With upperclassmen, he knows to text a little more politely, especially if said upperclassmen are Rook and Vil.

Idia texts in all lowercase, uses gamer slang and abbreviations, and shortens words like "your" to "ur." His replies can range from either super curt to leaving you on read to sending blocks of text because he's rambling about something he's passionate about.

Ortho texts like how he speaks: very kind and friendly and energetic! Although it is funny to imagine he texts only in binary code lol.

Malleus uses speech-to-text after Lilia introduced it to him, claiming it was much quicker than typing out the letters, so now he uses that to conveniently message. But he has yet to grasp that text-to-speech makes note of everything he's saying, so sometimes you'll get messages like: Capital C child of capital M man comma would you accompany me on a walk tonight? question mark smiling face emoticon. He means well in his texts, though. He's trying his best. (it's cute to imagine the little ding of a notification startles him at first.)

Lilia texts in a weird mixture of casual and polite. Sometimes he's using punctuation and other times he's not. Sometimes he's using slang and emojis and other times he's not. Sometimes he'll send silly gifs. One time Silver texted him that the dorm was out of toilet paper and Lilia responded with: L :p

Sebek texts in all-caps. I wholeheartedly believe he forgets to turn off all-caps, so even if he texts something as simple as a greeting it seems like he's screaming through text. He doesn't use emojis or abbreviations and slang, but it is funny to picture him sending GREETINGS HUMAN‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ with so many red exclamation point emojis.

Silver can't text very long messages otherwise he might fall asleep halfway through typing or while waiting for a response, so he usually texts what needs to be said. He's still very polite and sweet through text, always so princely.

[weaselbeaselpants]

If I were a cartoon review youtuber, some of my videos would definitely be:

Underrated Animated films you should see vol. 1 - ongoing

Complete look at Skunk Fu! and all it's episodes

What's ACTUALLY wrong with Illumination films (spoiler: it's not the designs). And that video would probably have a sequel ironically unironically accusing Chris Meladandri of being a White Walker who rips out movies' souls.

Disturbing Animated Film Iceberg.

A calming, sweet short retrospective on The World of Peter Rabbit and Friends.

Killing off the idea of "endgame". Tho, tbf, I'm definitely going to be writing that thesis statement down someday. I guess in video format it'd be a big "did this series REALLY fall off cuz the creator catered to fans?" breakdown of a few shows.

A video about 9. Because of course I'd make something about 9.

Politically heavy (but not horror) animated films.

An essay explaining the difference between what I want to see in a story vs what's actually good in a story; and likewise the difference between what I personally do/don't find offensive and what's objectively offensive as a viewer.

The dichotomy and standards between different talking animal films.

A review about Mary and Max and why I like it but it's okay if other autists don't. which would be a broader video about how to listen to the opinions of demographics and minorities and not to treat any one as a hivemind.

Movies that I dislike but aren't actually bad.

Movies I love that aren't really all that good.

A deeper dive on my take that Steven Universe was always deeply flawed but having an otherwise working ending; where Star vs was a well-written show that utterly biffed it on the ending.

The Swan Princess is secret conservative propaganda.

The 31 dumbest things in Oogies Revenge.

Zero's Journey is the only good TNBC continuation.

13 Horror animated Feature Films. For Halloween, of course...

My issue with Dreamworks' stans and why I dislike How to Train You Dragon 2.

My issues with Anti v Proshipping. Def would be a multi part series explaining why I think most of the problem is just people really aggresively bulling one another -AND THEN, getting into heinous fandom shit that no one talks about and the ethics of children online and freedom of expression.

Prolly then would make an exclusive (cuz it's dirty) review abt the rights of r34 and adult artists and what they had to/have to put up with both from peers and websites banning explicit material.

What absolutely doesn't work about Pocahontas and Anastasia.

I'd do a series called "Spitball Re-haul" wherein I go through a revisioned show's premise and then explain all the reasons for the changes. I'd make:

How I'd rewrite The Owl House season 3.

How I'd rewrite Star vs the Forces of Evil "Cleaved".

How I'd rewrite Strange Magic.

How I'd rewrite Raya and the Last Dragon.

How I'd rewrite Seasons 4-8 of Friendship is Magic.

My tinfoil hat video on Disney trying to profit so much off of fans is hurting their bases.

Mapping out and analyzing different types of crossover fiction, their merits and their issues with story-keeping.

Mythological and cultural animated films.

and finally, for when I'd muster up the strength:

an HBomberGuy-type callout/deepdive into MysteriousMrEnter and Lily Orchard and how they've made cartoon reviews worse.