#unloading all of my problems on my long distance mother is free

[kushamiqueen]

Uhhhhhhh it's probably because it's that time of the month but,,,,,,

Should I download bumble again? Should I just... talk to men???

[moonbeambucky]

Helpless

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 5298 Warnings: fluff

Summary: Bucky doesn’t realize that the more he tries to be helpful the more he makes his girl feel helpless.

A/N: This is my submission for @kentuckybarnes Hannah’s 3k Writing Challenge. My prompt was Character A is told to stay in the car while Character B confronts a villain. Things go downhill. Character A drives the car into the villain. But didn’t leave the car. Thank you as always to my Sam 💕@buckyofthemyscira for beta reading! gif not mine

The story of Bucky Barnes is filled with immense sadness weaving its ways throughout the pages of his life. From Howling Commando to Hydra assassin, his mind was scrubbed clean of what made him; his memories, his morals. Bucky was forced to commit unspeakable acts, ones that keep him up at night trembling with guilt. He was given a new life while being robbed of his old one but now that he’s finally free of the tentacled grasp Hydra held him in, Bucky is working on becoming himself again, and for all the harm he’s done to the world he wants to give back and help.

The desire to help others took root within him at a young age. He learned from his father George, who was always quick to assist the neighbors on their friendly Brooklyn block, and Bucky experienced firsthand how good it felt to help others.

When Mrs. Davis from down the block couldn’t leave the house much anymore Bucky took it upon himself to fetch her groceries or mow the lawn. He never asked for anything in return for his service but she insisted, paying him a little something so he could treat himself to an ice cream. Instead, Bucky used the money to make sure the alley cats had a fresh dish of milk and cans of tuna each day. If helping was the lottery then Bucky hit the jackpot when he befriended Steve Rogers.

Steve became more like a brother and Bucky had his hands full looking after him. You see, Steve was just like Bucky when it came to helping others except the little punk didn’t know his limits. He picked his battles, every single one, no matter who was on the other end. Bucky would have to step in every time and throw a punch or take one; better him than Steve who would crumble at the slightest breeze.

Bucky couldn’t fight all of Steve’s battles though, but he was always there to help Steve get well from his latest bout with any and every germ that came his way. His poor friend was a scrawny thing, with an immune system more fragile than a butterfly’s wings. Bucky ran all over Brooklyn to pick up Steve’s prescriptions and even learned to make his mother’s homemade chicken soup recipe, anticipating he might be spending the rest of his life making it for Steve.

Helping was always in Bucky’s nature but when the war broke out he questioned his morals. Part of him wanted to sign up, his country needed help and he was ready to fight, but with his father no longer around it didn’t feel right to leave his ma and sisters. In the end Bucky decided to stick around, continue to help his family and Steve until he was drafted.

The fate of the world was safe, for today at least, and while Bucky had helped secure it from the threat of other worldly invaders once more he wanted to use his free time to help on a smaller level.

This is how he found himself at a local Habitat for Humanity worksite near the compound. There were a few dozen people crowding around the open space, with bright smiles and excited chatter filling the air until a skeletal man with a bullhorn calls everyone’s attention. Bucky keeps his distance in the back. Just because he wanted to help doesn’t mean he’s fully ready to integrate himself into society again.

Bucky prefers anonymity and after years of covert operations and life on the run he wears his best disguise to hide in plain sight, a baseball cap that casts a shadow over his features. His long dark hair is tied in a low bun at the base of neck and recognizable metal hand is covered by a construction glove.

He isn’t fully anonymous though, a sticker on his chest states his name but going by James provides him enough distance from his true identity. Bucky doesn’t want any publicity, even if it would counteract the daily editorials that criticize his morals. It’s another struggle he carries, learning to ignore the faceless voices that speak out against him. He’ll never please everyone but by helping, no matter what the cause, he knows he’s doing something good.

Bucky’s squinting from the sunlight, already strong despite the early morning. He pulls his cap lower to block the shine from his eyes while listening to the man with the bullhorn enthusiastically pump up the crowd. He introduces himself as Scully, a nickname Bucky supposes as his sticker says Ed. Could be a last name too though. Sometimes Bucky doesn’t mind being called Barnes. It reminds him of his time in the army, where he was fighting with one goal in mind, to help.

He shrugs off his memories, not wanting to think about what happened after the army. He regrets wearing a sweatshirt today as he’s already growing warm but unfortunately it’s the best way to hide that arm of his.

The group breaks with a round of applause and cheers as it’s time to commence work. The foundation for the house was already laid for them so everyone begins working on the assembling the framing. Bucky quickly swaps his baseball cap for a hard hat and walks to the truck with a few others ready to unload the lumber.

A burly man walks up the steel ramp on the back of the truck. His boots clank on the metal that shakes to support his large frame as he unlatches the door, allowing the foresty scent of fresh cut spruce to penetrate the crisp morning air.

Groups of two travel in and out of the truck carrying long beams and planks. Bucky grabs more than double, giving a simple nod to the burly man Frank, a silent nod that he’s more than capable of handling that amount on his own. Bucky could actually carry more, a lot more, but his one man show is already drawing enough attention, he decides he doesn’t need any more.

He follows the direction of another man who’s shorter than Frank but just as round, with a thick salt and pepper beard. Bucky drops off the planks at different workstations where others are reviewing the specs for measurements.

The air filled with a mix of sound as people begin to work; the dull thudding of nails being hammered down, power tools buzzing away. It brings him back to childhood when he and Steve took the train into Manhattan to watch as construction crews began erecting the Chrysler Building. The idea of having the tallest building in the world in their backyard fascinated the young boys who never imagined the sites they would grow to see.

He’s pulled from his memory by the shrill buzzing of an electric saw. It pierces his ear oddly as Bucky can hear the faintest wobble coming from a blade. He shuts his eyes to concentrate, waiting for the sound again until he’s certain of where it’s coming from.

A woman is focused on her work, gripping the handle of the miter saw and guiding it down to slice through the wood on the table. Bucky’s lips twitch to a smile as he watches her using the machine without hesitation.

The wobbly sound has increased in the span of the few seconds he spent ogling her and before the woman begins again Bucky calls out to stop her.

“There’s somethin’ wrong with the blade,” he declared after he caught her attention, walking closer towards her.

Between the glare of the sun and the protective goggles covering her eyes Bucky can’t read her expression. He worries she might be insulted, if in some way she interprets his concern as a question on her capability.

Bucky panicked, “I-It’s not you, I promise.” He flashed a nervous smile. “I… it’s just that I heard it in the blade, it sounded…”

“...Off,” she finished his sentence. “You’re right, I even felt it in that last cut.”

She removed her safety goggles and used her forearm to dab at the beads of sweat that collected on her forehead. Chewing on her bottom lip she stared bewilderedly at the faulty machine.

Bucky was staring as well, entranced by the woman before him. Now that he had a clearer look at her features his heart began doing flips in his chest. Her eyes were beautiful, sparkling and full of life.

The hard hat and baggy t-shirt added to her true beauty, the goodness of her soul that was eager to get back to work, to helping just as he wanted to. She scanned the machine for an obvious cause of the problem, wondering out loud what it could be.

Bucky found the nerve to speak up. “The bolt on the blade probably came loose. I can help if you want...” He smiled timidly as his eyes traveled to the name tag on her shirt, “…Y/N.”

The moment her name fell from his lips Bucky felt as if he was always meant to say it. Like pollen floating in the air her name was carried to his heart making it bloom with attraction.

She accepted his help with an enthusiastic smile spread widely across her face and Bucky was blinded once more but not by the sun. The light that radiated from Y/N’s gorgeous face was stronger and more beautiful than any star in the galaxy.

With a spring in his step he went to find some tools to help, anxious to get back to Y/N. By the time he returned she unplugged the machine and put her palm out, waiting for him to hand over the tools. Bucky was surprised, not expecting she only needed his help to fetch the tools.

“I’m not helpless you know,” Y/N playfully teased, smirking as she pulled back the blade guard and began to lock the saw into place.

Bucky smiled watching her work, unable to contain his smile and the bubbling feelings within of the woman who was as capable as she was beautiful.

Y/N let out a frustrated groan as she tried to remove the bolt that secured the blade. She twisted the wrench but it wouldn’t budge. Bucky was certainly strong enough to force the movement but he didn’t want to intrude, not unless she asked.

He didn’t have time to wait for Y/N’s permission as she used all her might to twist the wrench, forcing the bolt to fly off. The shaky movement caused the askew blade to come off its mount and nearly onto Y/N’s hands if Bucky hadn’t lurched forward and stopped it. The blade sat in the palm of his gloved hand, the metal underneath unharmed by the sharp object.

“Are you alright?” he asked as a visibly shaken Y/N took deep breaths.

“Yeah, ‘m good. I shouldn’t have forced it,” she huffed in disbelief, thinking about what could have happened.

Bucky placed the blade back and tightened the bolt properly, ensuring it wouldn’t wobble anymore. “It should be good now.” Bucky offered a proud smile, knowing he was able to help her.

Y/N returned the smile as she replaced the other screws so she could begin working again. “Thanks Bucky.”

The curve of his lips dropped down with confusion His name tag said James. He is supposed to be James. Incognito. He had a foolproof baseball cap. His eyes stirred with panic but the sound of her voice stilled his mind.

“Were you hiding or something?” Her tone was playful and the smile she gave him helped settle his nerves even more. Bucky was wrong to think he could go unnoticed, then again she was the only one to speak up.

“In a way,” he responded, “I wanna help, don’t want no fanfare about it.”

Y/N knew what the press reported on James “Bucky” Barnes but in all the articles she’s read none of them ever detailed the softness in his eyes. Seventy years of torture were held back behind a delicate wall of swirling blue emotion and yet he’s standing in front of her, stronger than she could ever imagine had she faced what he had gone through.

“Your secret is safe with me,” she winked.

A giggle fell past her lips and Bucky felt his knees buckle at the sound. From the moment it left her lips and floated to his ears the decision cemented itself within his heart, he would do anything to hear her laughter again.

Bucky continued the heavy lifting all day but the greatest strength he displayed was when he asked Y/N out for coffee and surprisingly she said yes.

They met up on Saturday afternoon after spending a few days together at the worksite. Y/N groaned as her stiff muscles carried her to the front of the coffee shop. Bucky stood outside looking incredibly handsome in a light denim jacket with a blue shirt that was sure to bring out the color of his eyes. His hair was loose with rich brown strands falling into his face as he pulled his phone out from his pocket and checked it.  

She stopped to watch him, with a smile growing on her face at how nervous Bucky looked. She felt the same way, with the butterflies in her stomach adding to the aches and pains of her sore body.

Y/N was just as surprised when Bucky asked her to meet. She never imagined the day she would run into an actual Avenger let alone exchange numbers with them. With a deep breath she began walking towards him, trying to contain her nerves.

Bucky’s eyes lit up when he saw her. She strolled towards him in an oversized sweater and leggings that clung to her frame. Her hair was freed from the hard hat he was accustomed to seeing her in. He already thought she was beautiful in the sawdust covered clothes she wore and now his heart began to race at the sight of her.

Neither knew what greeting was appropriate as they said hello which led to an awkward should they, should they not kiss on the cheek or hug. She giggled again and Bucky sighed with content.

As Bucky held the door open for Y/N he heard a faint groan as she stepped up into the shop and proceeded to ask if she was alright.

She smiled at his question, “Yes, thank you. Just a little achy.”

Bucky smiled remembering the work she put in at the site, never shying away from any project. Y/N even tried to help lift the support beam that outweighed her many times over. Her disappointed pout was adorable, even if realistically it was a job meant for a crew made up of the strongest people. Bucky winked at her bringing the smile back to her face as they shared an unspoken truth, Bucky could have easily lifted the beam alone.

Hard labor was nothing for Bucky, in fact, he much preferred it over Steve’s intense training drills. He didn’t technically have a problem with those either but he’d rather go back into cyro than hear Sam’s whining every day.

Y/N would have more of a reason to whine over Sam who should be used to physical demands that come with being an Avenger by now, but even she isn’t. He can read the pain on her face, the tight smile and stiff inhales as she reads over the menu. After all the hard work she did she deserves to rest.

Bucky pulled out a chair for her from the nearest table. “Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll grab our orders,” he offered, feeling happy to help her.

They sat for hours getting to know each other, sharing a variety of sweet pastries. Bucky walked Y/N home and when it was time to say goodbye, something neither were keen on, they once again found themselves unsure of what they should do.

The caffeine searing through their veins combined with the growing affection they felt made both Bucky and Y/N extremely nervous. He was a blushing mess and she chewed on her lip, admiring his features by the golden glow of the setting sun.

Y/N took initiative, leaning forward with the intention of kissing him on the cheek. Bucky acted as well, excitedly lifting his arms up so he could wrap them around her for a hug. Unfortunately they did this at the same time and Bucky’s metal hand accidentally smacked Y/N’s cheek.

His heart stopped in that moment as Y/N held her hand firmly to her cheek. Bucky wanted to run away, to mutter an apology before he goes back into hiding, never to leave again. Negative thoughts swirl around his mind like a tornado making him question why he thought he would ever be good enough for her, telling him the world doesn’t want his help, that he only brings destruction and pain with every step he takes.

Suddenly the thoughts stop, swept away by the most beautiful sound in the world, Y/N’s giggles.

“Ouch,” she chuckled, rubbing the sting from her cheek while smiling at him.

The tension in Bucky’s shoulders released, allowing him to exhale. Still he apologized profusely but Y/N’s finger on his lips told him to stop.

“I know how you can make it up to me,” she purred, flashing a coy smile as her eyes traveled to his lips and back up again.

The lust in her eyes was evident and for once Bucky’s head and his heart were on the same page. He leaned in slowly as his tongue swept across his lips to wet them. The gap between them closed and Y/N felt his breath fanning against her skin.

Her nerves tingled with anticipation and the moment their lips met it felt like each one had turned into a firework, exploding with happiness. Y/N pulled apart first when she needed air though Bucky would have gladly given her every breath his lungs have yet to take.

“That’s better,” she sighed a heaving breath as she rested her forehead against his.

Bucky licked his lips again, tasting the sweetness of dessert lingering on her tongue though he was certain she tasted sweeter. His eyes crinkled as a smile stretched across his face and he whispered to her, “Happy to help.”

That day was the beginning of their relationship and Bucky couldn’t believe how lucky he was. He never imagined he would be romancing someone again and now that Y/N was with him he went above and beyond to make sure she knew just how much he loved and appreciated her.

Bucky would always be sure to hold doors open for Y/N, or pull out the chair for her to sit. Sometimes he would even help her assist her with putting on or taking off her coat; he couldn’t help it, hearing the voice of his father in his head, lessons he was taught from a young age about proper etiquette with women.

Y/N never had anyone treat her as kindly as Bucky did, always going out of his way to ensure she was properly taken care of. Sure, some of his sweet gestures may have been a little old fashioned but she understood Bucky was brought up in a different time. Besides, it was better than being treated poorly so for a while she let him woo her the way he thought was best.

After a few months of dating Bucky’s kindness started to become a little cumbersome. He would go out of his way to “help” Y/N even though she didn’t need it, like all the times he stopped her from putting on a necklace, insisting that he had to be the one to fasten the clasp even though she was more than capable of doing it herself. Or the many times when she would be washing the dishes and Bucky nearly pushed her out of the way so he could be the one to do them claiming he didn’t want her hands to prune.

Each time Bucky took over doing something for Y/N her frustration grew but she bit her tongue. She knew how fragile Bucky’s self-esteem was and she really didn’t want to hurt him. Bucky felt so good about himself when he did things for her, it was written all over his face so she stayed quiet and let it fester, ignoring the problem like a rumbling volcano.

It was a rough day. The moment Y/N got to work there were problems starting with the first phone all. A client spent twenty minutes screaming at her and while she tried several times to get a word in he wouldn’t let her. Instead she had to wait for his rant to finish before she could give him a simple solution that would have lowered both their blood pressure within a few minutes.

She was on edge from the call and because of that she knocked over her mug of coffee, spilling all of important documents, some of which now required new signatures from other clients who weren’t happy about having to come in again. By the end of the day Y/N was near tears when her boss called her in to talk, reprimanding her for indiscretions during the day.

Bucky was in her apartment waiting for Y/N to come home from work. He couldn’t wait to spend the night with her cuddling together and watching movies knowing in the morning he would be leaving for a mission, the first one he’s been on since they started dating.

The door burst open and Y/N stomped harshly on the wood floors, kicking one heel off wildly and groaning in frustration as she had to bend down and pull the other one off, throwing it hastily against the wall.

Bucky heard the commotion from the other room and when he walked to the living room he saw Y/N kneeling on the floor crying. The shoe had dented the wall, breaking the plaster. Bucky knelt down beside her and Y/N threw herself into his chest, crying even harder when she felt his arms wrap around her frame.

“It’s okay…” he whispered in her ear, placing a kiss to her crown. “Don’t worry about the wall. I’ll fix it.”

His words dried her tears but not because of his offer to help. The broken wall symbolized more than what it actually was. This minor inconvenience was the breaking of the own wall she had built up behind months of anger and resentment towards Bucky.

With a shaky breath Y/N pushed herself away from Bucky and stood up. She gripped the edge of the table to hold onto something as she unleashed everything that was buried inside of her.

“I don’t want your help! I’m so tired of it, Bucky! It’s not about the wall, I can fix it my damn self!” she screamed.

Bucky stood up slowly, with confusion twisting at his features.

“You make me feel helpless! You never allow me to do anything. I can do dishes, I can carry bags. I can put my own damn coat on!”

Bucky opened his mouth but he couldn’t form any words. He was hurt. Everything he did for Y/N was from the heart, he didn’t realize how she felt about it. Maybe he was wrong about everything, that he was never ready for a relationship, that Y/N never loved him.

As Bucky stood silent Y/N saw the pain swirling in his eyes and realizing everything she said in her outburst made her feel worse.

She broke down again, “I’m so sorry Bucky. I love you, I mean it, I love you from the bottom of my heart. This is all my fault. I should have said something earlier. I never m-meant…” she whimpered, wiping the tears from her cheeks and sniffling.

“No,” he said softly, “I��m sorry. It’s been so long since…” Bucky trails off but they both know what he meant. “You mean the world to me doll, I thought if I could make anything easier on ya I would do it.”

“I don’t mind the help I just wish you would ask me sometimes,” she smiled sadly.

Y/N outstretched her hand towards Bucky and let out a breath of relief when he took it. She brought him closer and pressed herself against him again, relaxing as he embraced her fully.

They spent that evening together just as Bucky originally planned but now with a better understanding of each other’s emotions.

Every day for the month Bucky was gone Y/N was worried sick so the moment her phone lit up with a message announcing his arrival she screamed with joy. He arrived at her door a few hours later, holding a bouquet of beautiful flowers she did not care one bit about. Y/N jumped into his arms kissing him senseless. She could take care of herself in many ways but when it came to Bucky Barnes in her heart she knew she was certainly helpless.

They spent the weekend together hardly ever leaving her bed. Bucky opened up as much as he could to her about the mission which was a bust. They either had bad intel or their target knew they were coming and he disappeared. It was frustrating but Y/N’s soft lips against his skin made him quickly forget his worries.

For their one year anniversary Bucky planned a special night out to celebrate with Y/N. They both dressed nicely for the not too fancy but still classy enough restaurant they had reservations for. Bucky picked her up in a vintage car thanks to Tony and they enjoyed an intimate dinner.

Bucky pulled out a small gift from his suit pocket and handed it to Y/N across the table. The candlelight illuminated her beautiful smile as she carefully unwrapped the gift to reveal a jewelry box. Inside was a necklace with a small silver pendant in the shape of a house with a heart cut out in the center.

“Because we met that day building a house together and ever since you’ve held my heart and become my home.”

“It’s beautiful Bucky,” she beamed. “Will you put it on me?”

Her head tilts to the side as she smiles softly towards him and Bucky happily obliged. When the necklace was secured he couldn’t help but press his lips at the junction of her neck and shoulder making Y/N squirm and giggle. It was definitely time to leave the restaurant and neither could wait to get home.

On the drive home Bucky turned to face Y/N but instead his attention was on the car beside him and the driver that looked suspiciously like the target from their failed mission a few months back. He tried not to be seen by the man he believed to be Andrei Rudaski telling Y/N to stay low as he carefully followed the car.

While stopped at a light Bucky confirmed the target thanks to a signifying tattoo on his neck. He followed him for a few more blocks as he debated on calling the team. Bucky could probably take this guy down without making a scene but he didn’t want to endanger Y/N.

Andrei pulled over beside a warehouse on a quiet street that was mostly dark except for a few scattered street lamps. Bucky parked across the street, wishing he didn’t have a car that could blend better with the other empty cars along the road.

As Andrei opened the door to get out Bucky handed Y/N his phone. “Call Steve, tell him where we are and tell ‘im Andrei Rudaski is here.”

“What about you?” she worried.

“I’ll be alright doll. Just call Steve and stay in the car.”

With a quick kiss to her forehead Bucky took off. She chewed her bottom lip nervously as she watched his frame disappear in the alleyway by the warehouse though his shadow was visible on the wall for a bit longer thanks to security lighting mounted on the building.

For a while there was nothing but the sound of the occasional car pass by until an unmistakable gunshot rang out. Shadows on the wall began to dance in tussle and Y/N heard voices growing louder. She clutched her necklace when she thought she heard Bucky, more specifically the sound of him groaning in pain. Bucky was her home too and she couldn’t sit by and let him be injured or worse.

Sliding into the driver’s seat Y/N turned the key and hoped Bucky’s attacker was too preoccupied to hear the sound of the purring engine come to life. With her seatbelt fastened she grabbed the wheel and beelined right towards the alley.

Y/N spotted Bucky on the ground with a man standing above him, aiming a gun. With her foot slammed against the pedal she sped straight down with Andrei in her path.

It was surreal to feel everything happen at once and yet in Y/N’s mind each event seemed to play out in slow motion. She remembered the surprised look on Andrei’s face, the bright headlines that turned the darkness of his blue eyes into pinpoints that stared her down. He tried to aim his gun at her but she hit him first, the sound of the metal frame crashing against flesh and bone will be seared into his memory forever.

Glass shattered from the windshield in front of her to the high pitched breakage of the warehouse window. He had shot his gun after all. An airbag deployed unexpectedly and if she had been given a chance to think about it she would have known Tony Stark upgrades all of his toys.

The advanced airbag leaves little injury, the only thing sore is her chest, tender where the seatbelt held her upon the impact. She’s shaking, and doesn’t know if she wants to laugh or cry, but when the door opens beside her and she sees Bucky she does both.

“What the hell was that?” He reprimands her and rightfully so. Getting hurt is the last thing Bucky wanted to happen to Y/N. “I told you to stay in the car!”

“That was me saving your ass,” she groaned slightly, “And as you can see I am in the car!”

Her statement was followed by a chuckle, as if the car wasn’t crunched up against a wall, with a bloodied person in between it.

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, sucking in a painful breath thanks to the throbbing gunshot that pierced his side. “I thought I told you to call Steve.”

“I did call him,” she insisted, struggling to unlatch her seatbelt. “But I couldn’t sit by and let something happen to you.”

Bucky heard the worry in her tone, and truthfully Andrei had somehow gotten the upper hand. He doesn’t want to think about what would have happened if it wasn’t for Y/N.

With Bucky’s assistance she got out of the car and carefully they hugged.

“I’m sorry our anniversary was ruined. I wanted– ” Bucky began to say before a voice interrupted him.

“Can you tell me what else is ruined?” Tony sarcastically asked, as red and gold arms crossed over the lighted triangle on his chest.

Bucky smiled at Y/N before answering. “This shirt for one,” he joked clutching his bleeding side.

Y/N frowned as Bucky hissed in pain. Apologizing for the car as she passed Tony, Y/N helped Bucky towards the quinjet that was blocking the street and Bucky grabbed a medical kit which he held out towards Y/N. “Wouldja mind?”

He took off his shirt and laid on his side so she could clean and bandage his wound, but not before he had the small chance to send her a wink.

“Looks like I’m the helpless one now, doll.” he joked.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated :)

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[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 120: Storm in the Room

“Sometimes I wonder if it’s even you up there.”

There are certain episodes of Steven Universe that act as culminations to multiple stories from the past. Pseudo-finales like The Return and Earthlings rely on tons of backstory to show how far we’ve come in the series, and big showstoppers like Mr. Greg that do likewise for specific characters rather than the show as a whole. But as our saga continues, we’re blessed with stories that have the same vast reference pool as these payoff episodes without the finality; at this stage, so much has happened that “regular episodes” can also be riddled with nods to how small elements of Steven’s overall journey have shaped his universe. Storm in the Room isn’t about solving problems, but acknowledging them, and because the problem at hand involves the past catching up with the present, I love how much this episode looks back.

We start right as The New Crystal Gems ends, making this the seventh episode in a row documenting a very long day in Steven’s life (granted, one of them is him listening to what his friends were up to on Earth, but he’s still stuck in the Zoo uniform). Connie, glad to relinquish her guardian duties, gets nervous when Dr. Maheswaran doesn’t answer her phone, and Steven tries to relieve the tension in a way that seems insensitive at face value. His insistence on playing games when she’s clearly upset is awkward as hell, but he eventually acknowledges Connie’s feelings in a way that shows that in his own flawed way he was trying to help. The problem is that his version of help involves ignoring problems instead of facing them, and if this seems familiar, Connie completes the reference by practicing a calming breath from Mindful Education: she learned that episode’s lesson, but just like his mother, Steven’s instinct is to push his issues away.

Connie’s reunion with the good doctor evokes the ending of Nightmare Hospital, with Steven gazing from a distance at a mother and child embracing after a scare. But this time we don’t get the bittersweet imagery of his big smile slowly fading as he hugs Rose’s sword; he’s just alone, a background character to something he’s never experienced, all bitter and no sweet.

The tonal shift when Connie departs is stark and sudden. So far the episode has been full of Steven’s chattering, Aivi and Surasshu’s subtle score, and the ambient sounds of crashing waves as Steven says goodbye, but as soon as he shuts the door we’re met with crushing silence. It’s not hard to guess that his cheer has been forced, but it’s still brutal to see the act drop all at once before an extended and largely wordless routine of taking care of himself because nobody’s around to take care of him. We might not know it until A Single Pale Rose, but just like his approach to problem solving, his double life as an outwardly chipper hero that’s secretly suffering is another way he’s his mother’s son.

From the start of this quiet period, we see his discomfort with the portrait of Rose that’s graced his room for the entire series. The last time it’s been this prominent was Rose’s Scabbard, another eye-opening episode about her past, but now it haunts Steven as he makes his way through an empty home, magnified to show how small he’s made to feel by the cosmic scale of his burdens.

Steven briefly heads outside to avoid the picture staring at him through closed eyes, and we get a moment of pleasant rain that earns some murmured approval, but it morphs from the baptismal drizzle of The Answer and When It Rains to the harrowing downpour of Alone At Sea. Only when he’s back inside, with his dinner ruined and nowhere else to turn, does he truly speak. And for the first time in ages, since the era of An Indirect Kiss and Lion 3, he speaks to Rose.

It might be enhanced by the silence preceding it, but Zach Callison’s performance here is tremendous, even for him. Steven doesn’t even have the energy to be angry, he’s just cold and weary as he finally starts verbalizing his negative thoughts. They’re enough to make his mother’s door glow, and he knows as well as we do by now that Rose’s Room is a place of horror as well as wonder, but he steps inside anyway.

It’s so important that Steven admits right off the bat that none of what he's about to see is real, not just because it’s been a while since young viewers saw this place, but to preface the emotional illusion with his mental awareness of its fakery. He isn’t being fooled like he has in the past, but he’s so desperate for this connection that he’s willing to take questionable means to get it. When he asks to see his mom (rather than asking to see Rose Quartz), the clouds form into another image of her with her eyes closed, but unlike the portrait, she can open them right up.

Steven is already nervous when he enters the room, and gets even more flustered at the voice of his mother coming out of the simulacrum. But the illusion is so real that he composes himself, and despite his earlier nod to reality, he’s clearly drawn in no matter how much his head might tell him not to be.

There are tells, of course. Fake Rose Quartz Rose Ersatz is all about what Steven wants to do, lets him win at his video game with a patronizing “Hooray,” and gives a dramatic speech about the value of sports because the only reference point Steven has to her voice is the similar tone of her message from Lion 3. But beyond the appearance factor, there are tricky ways Faux Quartz seems more real than Connterfeit from Open Book: she’s inquisitive about the video game, she’s willing to pull pranks on her kid, and she provides a compelling rebuttal to Steven’s anger that suggests that maybe, just maybe, her room has a good enough grasp of the genuine article that this is more than a simple fake. After all, back in Rose’s Room, the most detailed deception was Greg, the person Steven encounters that Rose knew best.

But before we get into that conclusion and rebuttal, let’s look at the prank. There’s a certain mythological power to yanking a football away from a kicker: Charlie Brown isn’t that different from the likes of Tantalus or Sisyphus in this metaphor for futility, and while it’s obviously a funnier gag than trying to push a bolder up a hill, the inherent sadness of classic Peanuts is inextricable from the laughs. The glimmer of hope has to be built up every time, only to be dashed when Lucy betrays Charlie Brown’s trust, and it’s not hard to see the parallel with Steven trying again and again to understand the truth.

(While I loved my Peanuts growing up, my favorite iteration of the football gag is this spoken word reenactment starring Paget Brewster as Lucy, John Moe as Charlie Brown, and two of my comedy heroes, Paul F. Tompkins and “Weird Al” Yankovic, enjoying the show between them. It’s brilliant both as a tribute and a deconstruction of Charles Schulz.)

Given the setting, it’s inevitable that the situation turns dark. But despite the turmoil Steven endures, there’s a sense of catharsis as he unloads all his angst after spending so long bottling it up. As with Joy Ride and Steven vs. Amethyst, our hero reveals new insights into what’s going on in his head in a way that can’t be done right without saying it outright. His anger is sold by its specificity, and Callison again proves his chops in a damning monologue about all the ways Rose failed the expectations that have been built for him.

Out of the gate he connects her lie about bubbling Bismuth with the hypocrisy of her shattering Pink Diamond while punishing her friend for suggesting it. It’s a problem that was at the forefront of my concerns when the news of the shattering was first told, and while I felt vindicated in the show talking about it at last, it sucks that this didn’t lead to freeing Bismuth to continue the conversation. He’s just getting revved up, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get past how Bismuth was left high and dry for so long when I assess the show as a whole.

The real meat of the rant involves Steven isolating Rose’s biggest flaw. It’s visible from the second episode of the series, which revolves around Steven looking for a cannon that Rose could’ve told her friends about before passing: she has trouble telling the truth. Sometimes it’s negligence, as with the cannon, but often it’s deception. It was so ingrained that Pearl interpreted it as a sign of great leadership in Rose’s Scabbard, and Garnet’s obfuscating attitude before her character development kicks in could be read as an influence of the old boss’s style. So it’s about time that Steven out and calls her a liar.

I love that after so long worshiping Rose, Steven does a full swing in the opposite direction when forced to confront her imperfections. He’s not interested in seeing anything from her point of view, but assumes the worst possible intentions: we go from her causing harm (which is certain) to her intending to cause harm (which is probably not the case) to Steven worrying that he only exists as the ultimate escape option (which is definitely not the case). Even though Rose Quack counters this last point with calm grace, and Steven seems to accept that the tape was telling the truth, it’s hard to trust a character defined by mistruths. We’ll see in Lion 4 that even though he lets her off the hook at the end of the conversation, his doubts persist.

Regardless of the details, Steven’s fate is set. Whether or not she meant for it to happen, he did inherit Rose’s messes, and because his martyr complex has taken root, he’s all set to sacrifice himself at the end of the season. He took the big step in addressing how awful his situation is, which is better than letting it fester the way it’s been doing for sixteen episodes, but the step is perhaps too big. There’s a balance he has to reach for him to truly be happy, but it’ll be a while yet before he finds it, because he’s a fourteen-year-old kid.

After such a heavy episode, it makes sense that we end with some hope. Steven sorta oversells a sense of surprise that all four members of his immediate family have returned, but he’s been through a lot so I’ll cut him a break. We get pizza with the wrong topping, but as Greg predicted in Keystone Motel, Steven has learned to accept all pizza.

Perhaps the most important aspect of Storm in the Room is that it actually sticks. Mindful Education seems to be the start of a new outlook, and Steven does start looking for more answers after futzing around for a bit, but a more apparent shift takes place here that it’s gonna take a while to pull out of. He’s not trying to find the truth anymore, because the sheer scale of untruths surrounding Rose makes real answers seem impossible; plus, the last time he tried his dad was almost stolen forever. So for now, he’ll have to settle with sulking. Thank goodness the show makes it interesting to watch.

Future Vision!

Steven’s discomfort with Rose’s portrait never really goes away; after a couple of years, he decides to store it in Lion’s mane at the end of Rose Buds.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

A heavy episode, gorgeously paced and directed, but honestly it’s such a bummer that I don’t watch it that often, and the conclusion with Steven’s living family feels just a bit too cute for this to crack the top of my list.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[sciencelings-writes]

Iron Man Bingo: Tony Stark & Harley Keener

this is part of my 5+1 series of Tony and his kids, this one has less Tony in it which was not what I was planning but I’m mostly trying to show how much he cares, even from afar. 

Every Christmas, Harley got a ridiculously expensive gift that he knew his mother couldn’t afford. It was always labeled that it was from ‘Santa’ but Harley was anything but stupid. There was a billionaire out there that still felt bad after several years of putting him in danger once. Okay, maybe twice but Harley honestly didn’t dwell on it. He actually liked helping Tony out when he was twelve, his life was boring anyway.

Usually, it was a custom kit to build something that gradually got more and more complicated. They would be robots and other machines that kept Harley busy for a few weeks before he ended up modifying it to his own design for the rest of the year.

It was a single armed robot with gold lettering on it that cheekily spelled out ‘ANTHON-E’ or ‘TON-E’ for short. Tony wasn’t discrete. And he had a strange sense of humor.

Okay, Harley thought it was funny and the golden stickers could’ve spelled out anything he wanted. Harley was the one that thought it was funny to call the bot TON-E. But Tony did send a note with ideas for names that were just as bad. Mostly puns that ended in ‘-E.’ Most of them were not FUN-E. In fact, they were borderline SHIT-E.

But one year, the year after the shitshow that was Ultron and the breakup of the Avengers, Harley got something a little different. There was a huge box of parts and Harley audibly gasped when he took a look at the blueprints. It wasn’t a little project or a robot, it was a full-on Iron Man suit. Tony had included several colors of paint and literally everything Harley could ever hope to need to make the suit perfect, although the weapons were understandably less powerful.

They weren’t like nerf guns instead of actual guns, but they weren’t going to destroy his whole block if he fucked something up.

The only thing fully put together in the kit was the arc reactor. Sure, Harley had seen it up close, hell, he had put it back in Tony's chest that one time but it had been a few years and now that he had a better idea of what it was, he was fascinated by it. There was a note on it from Tony, it gave a personal phone number and an invitation to ask for anything else that he would need and a suggestion for a free visit to New York.

Harley was a little bit excited. When he wasn’t being watched by his little sister and mother, he literally jumped up and down with a ridiculous grin pasted on his face. It took him a full month to stop smiling and he started working on the suit immediately. He also started regularly texting Tony after years of not talking him.

Their conversations ranged from dumb shit that Harley was not ashamed of talking about to deep shit like the effect of the loss of the Avengers. It took a few months and several reminders that Harley knew how to deal with the man's panic attacks that he opened up again.

Harley may not be a therapist or anything like that, but he was the type of person that could listen to people. He listened to his mom when she broke down when he suggested she try dating again, he listened to Tony during his panic attacks and the adults always felt bad for unloading their trauma onto him but he didn’t care. Sometimes people needed someone to listen and think for them when they couldn’t think straight and Harley honestly didn’t mind being that person. He seemed to stay calm when other people would freak out.

Right before spring break, Harley finished his suit. He had fully tested it and wanted to see how it would fare for long distances, so he decided to surprise Tony by visiting. He wasn’t an asshole though, he told his mom that he was going to go visit, he just didn’t tell her that Tony didn’t even know.

Honestly, Harley only knew that Tony was going to be in the country because his AI connected to FRIDAY and she had told him Tony’s schedule for the whole month. He specifically took a few weeks off to chill out and Harley was planning on ruining it. Eh, Tony would forgive him.

He was kind of surprised that his mom let him go at all, but it turned out that she had talked to Pepper Potts and she had promised that she would make sure that Harley would be taken care of as she was sure that Tony couldn’t even take care of himself. Okay, he could but a lot of the time he forgets that human bodies had needs that had to be met every day. Like sleeping and eating.

Anyway, Harley left as soon as he could. And now he could say, flying was pretty fucking awesome. He topped out at about one thousand miles per hour, faster than a normal plane, but it would still take a while to get to New York. So he enjoyed the ride. For one, the view was beautiful, by being so high up, everything just looked so small.

Harley didn’t even think before he flew in loops and just played around with the whole concept of flight. The ducks in the air could probably hear him whooping from outside of his metal mask.  But he didn’t think that they had the brain capacity to care.  

He was in the middle of a swan dive when his visor turned red and text flashed in front of his eyes. Thankfully, it wasn’t a problem with the suit or anything like that. It was an alert for something happening nearby.

By then he had been flying for a while and was already above West Virginia. The alert just said that the AI had sighted a mugging using a nearby security camera. The guy had a gun and his AI had deemed it safe enough to be his first act of heroism. He didn’t have much else to do and if he actually wanted to be some sort of superhero, he would have to actually do some hero-ing.

He continued his dive until he was about as high as the nearby building. He slowed his descent and heavily dropped on the ground. He almost lost his balance but he didn’t fall so it was fine.

“Iron Man?” The criminal guy froze in his tracks and dropped the old woman's purse.

“Not quite.” Harley shot a low powered repulser blast at the man and surprisingly hit him. His arm but he fell to the ground. “I’m more like petty-crime Iron Man.”

The criminal was passed out on the ground so Harley paid attention to the woman.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Thank you so much, young man, before you shoot off into the sky, would you mind taking a picture with me? My granddaughter loves Iron Man!” Well, she got over that quickly…

“I guess…” He helped her after she struggled to take a selfie with him and after a few minutes, the lady had a picture of the new black and gold Iron Man. She seemed pretty pleased with the picture. He told her to call the police to report what happened before he shot off into the sky to make his way to New York.

This wasn’t the only stop he ended up having, he ended up stopping a robbery in New Jersy and distracted a potential rapist so that a girl could get an uber home. He wasn’t aware of how many pictures were taken of him and by the time he got to new york, there were several news sites that wrote about him. Most had headlines like ‘Iron Boy?’ or ‘Is there a new Iron Man?’ and dumb shit like that but one had ‘Tony Stark has a child who fights crime?’ So it could’ve been worse.

He landed at the Avengers compound in the middle of the night. He was exhausted but excited at the same time. Conflicting emotions were annoying. He popped out of his iron suit and stretched a bit before strolling into the compound with slightly hunched shoulders. Pepper met him inside, apparently, she had stayed awake waiting for him.

“Tony is just in his workshop and he’s going to stay down there all night if you don’t get him out of there. I’m going to bed and if you just join him, I’m going to sic FRIDAY on you guys.” Pepper threatened with a yawn. Harley was physically exhausted enough not to even think about denying her.

Pepper showed him to the workshop and excused herself to go to bed. FRIDAY let him in and Tony didn’t even notice. Tony seemed to be intensely examining a glowing holographic screen in front of him. Harley sat by him for a full five minutes before Tony even realized that he was there.

“Kid?” Tony looked like he hadn’t slept in a week so Harley was surprised that the guy even recognized that he was a kid.

“Hello to you too, it’s been a while.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Chill out, it’s spring break, I just decided to stop by.” Harley smiled and stood up. “Come on, you look like shit. Your girlfriend wants you to get some sleep.”

“You know I haven’t had enough sleep when I consider that you’re a hallucination.”

“Why the fuck would you hallucinate me? Maybe in the morning, we can reunite properly but personally, I’m about to pass out so…”

“Yeah yeah, no need to make me feel guilty… goddammit, you have gotten better at that…” Tony stretched and stood up in a way that strangely reminded Harley of a cat. “I saw you didn’t waste too much time to go play vigilante.”

“The fly here was pretty boring.” Harley shrugged. “Hey FRIDAY, tell Pepper we’re on our way up.”

‘Of course.’ The AIs voice came from the hidden speakers. ‘Boss says that you haven’t gotten the high score for getting Tony out of the lab.’

‘What’s the high score?’

‘Fifiteen seconds due to an accidental alert from Spider-Man. He didn’t mean to press the panic button.’ FRIDAY replied and if she had a face, Harley was sure that she was smiling. Or rather, smirking.

“Well, I’m going to beat that record.”

“Good luck with that kid…” Tony groaned. “Please at least promise not to give me a heart attack.”

“You have a med bay here right?” Harley smirked.

“Jesus Christ…”

Pepper could hear the laughing all the way from the Iron Suite.

[alitheamateur]

The Grind- Chapter 13

431 days. A tragus piercing. A black pencil tattoo permanently etched at the highest point of my right ribcage, and shadow roots in my sandy hair thanks to Becca, my new hairstylist recommended my latest friend, Tia. All things refreshed and renewed in the life of Liv Elliott. Single Liv Elliott. Okay, nearly all. One thing most certainly, and sorely remained the same. My beating heart was still smashed like a steel mallet had turned loose on it. Sure, the festering emotional cut of our breakup was beginning to mend with time. But, we all know with a healing cut, comes a forever scar. Not a scar representing a victorious battle, or a valiant effort. But one of sheer, naïve stupidity.  I choked on a daily spoonful of utter confusion wondering where the road took such a drastic detour towards that killer cliff we had so recklessly plunged from. I constantly fought the burning urge to scratch and claw my way back up the side of that treacherous mountain to find my way back to the earliest road. The road with Colton as my copilot. 

I so graciously allowed myself 2 weeks to hide away. Flounder in tears, Rocky Road, and maybe even a drunken bonfire of most photographic evidence that Colton ever existed. I avoided mascara all together, concluding that some point of my day would inevitably lead to a blubbering breakdown as I hid in the office bathroom. I rearranged the entire span of my apartment, hopeful maybe the new positions of furniture would confuse the ghosts of him that all too often appeared laid out comfortably on the couch, ankles crossed during a Sunday nap. Or slumbering face down with one hand under a pillow and the other stretched out toward the opposite side of the bed, lips loose in sleeping breathes. I couldn’t outrun the flashbacks no matter the effort. Even still, he haunts me on a Saturday morning at The Grind, or on a Tuesday night at my place with takeout from the B-rated Chinese joint down the street. However now, the sickness of utmost sadness, overcome with a rancorous flood of anger instead. Mostly with Colton, rightfully so. But myself as well. The foolish, undignified way I had just fallen under his potent spell, I might as well have just dropped to my knees and waved the white flag the second he introduced himself. And yet, the unsolved mystery remained. HE had said he loved me first. Sure, I felt it near the moment he kissed me after our run through the city that morning, but I chose to bury the words for another time. Colton on the other hand, had no problem spouting off his revelation to me. Nor did he stutter on the admittance of apparently “thinking with his dick” when it came to the matter of our meeting that fateful morning either. One thing I was able to confirm, was the son of a bitch clearly suffered a severe case of habitual word vomit.

The Pilot for me was a bit of a safe haven in a war zone, it being a place I could hide from the demons a bit. My new title at the paper requiring me to cover all things fighting within a 100-mile radius on the other hand, posed a bit of an issue. Thank the holy heavens I had avoided the press conference for his first match following our demise, due to the short, paid hiatus I took to visit Westfield. A taste of nostalgia and familiarity seemed like suitable therapy for a maimed heart, and maybe a good caudle from my parents. An attempted one, at least.

Tony and Elizabeth, said parents, were good parents in general. I won’t take that away from their accomplishments. But when basketball gracefully bowed out of my life, their involvement followed suit. Dad & I always had ball as that bonding clue to hold us tightly together. Saturday mornings following Friday night games always began with film, 150 free throws out back on the handcrafted mock court he’d constructed for me, ending at Al’s Diner for pancakes. That first fateful Saturday after my knee surgery, we tried to replay the film and retreat to Al’s, but when the conversing concerning if I’d pass the current scoring record at Westfield High, or whether I would commit to University of Louisville or SIU no longer applied, we drifted. When the “basketball dad” shadow from the sticker he peeled from the rear window of his pickup truck faded, a hefty portion of the pride he held for his daughter did too.

As far as a closeness with mom, there truly wasn’t much. She preformed the expected team mom duties by hosting bake sale fundraisers, and chaperoning homecoming dances. But that dependable shoulder never pushed much further in the emotional realm of a relationship with me. My dad & I had always held a special closeness, leaving her to feel somewhat shoved to the proverbial back burner. I was never much for the “foofy” tea parties, or pageant queen aspirations she had, which no doubt drove the wedge deeper between the two of us. But, when I moved so far away, it seemed distance, and time had healed some wounds in our connection. When I arrived at the simple square, two story siding home on Lake Lane, my first friend in life, our Collie, Indiana nearly mounted to hood of my car to get to me. No doubt, his name sake my dads favorite action movie character, and my home-state.

“Hey Indy, you sweet boy! I’ve missed you, ya’ big guy!” I rumpled the cashmere like white coat around his neck.

Mom galloped out the red front door first, dad following suit at a slightly slower pace.

“Liv, honey! Oh, we’re so glad you’re here! We’ve missed you,” my mom squealed towards me with open arms.

“We really have missed you, kid. Look at ya’!” Dad persisted with the ever annoying greeting of ruffling the top of my head like some socially incoherent teenage boy.

They probably did miss me, I’m sure. But, apparently not enough to ever offer a visit with me since moving my things to the city of Pittsburgh. No matter what bitterness flowered, as I dragged deeper into adulthood, I had resolved that you only got one set of parents, and the importance of appreciating the ones you did get was dire. So, I decided to nurse some long dwelling resentment and go into this visit with a forgiving heart.

“I missed you guys, too. Things still look exactly the same around here.” I inventoried those familiar, award-winning rose bushes my mother grew in the landscape, and with attached garage door open, I was able to see dads tool shop sanctuary in exactly the shape I had left it. Not a hammer out of place.

“Let’s get you inside, sweetie. Dinner will be done soon, & I’m sure we have some catching up to do.” Mom placed her hands over my upper arms, guiding me into I’m sure a spotless house, while dad unloaded my suitcase from the back hatch of my SUV.

 Steaks cooked to perfection courtesy of Tony Elliott, self-proclaimed grilled master, were served in the newly remodeled dining room, and the 3 of us sat in the same assumingly designated spots that we had for all my childhood years. I did miss a motherly, prepared with love, home cooked dinner so I wasted no amount of time scarfing down the contents of her delicious spread.

“How are things with the promotion, Livvy? They aren’t taking advantage of ya’, I hope?” Dad dropped his fork gently to his plate, taking a sip of his tea.

“Things are good, dad. Ryan, my boss, really does treat me excellently. He’s always super complimentary of my work.” I assured.

“Sounds like a nice guy. Maybe someone has a little crush?” Elizabeth winked while sorting through the last few sprigs of lettuce in her salad bowl.

“Ha! No thanks, mom. He’s an awesome guy, but I’d never see him like that. Plus, I could never date my boss, you know that.” I scoffed all too quickly.

Alright, you fraidy-cat. Get to it, here! Tell them. About him.

“Plus, I think I need a little break from men these days.”

“A break? Meaning there’s been some boys around since you moved?” Mom was the first to chime in, while my dad sat idly by, trying to appear casually at ease. But, I knew he was hearing every syllable of the exchange between his wife and I.

“Just one guy, mom. Well, there was one guy.” My attention never left the chopped, leftover chunks of food on my white porcelain plate. “Remember the first piece I did on Mixed Martial Arts? My first front page?”

“Liv, don’t be ridiculous. Yes, it’s laminated and framed in the living room. Go on..” she answered, leaning on her hand as an elbow rested on the table for a blinking second, before she retracted it, minding her usual manners.

“I was with one of the competitors. Like, in a relationship for several months actually. Colton, the fighter who I was working one-on-one with.”

There, at least he’s out in the open now. The dirty secret is out.

“Was, meaning not anymore then?” Dad finally broke his cold silence.

“Not anymore, no. We haven’t been together for a while now. But, I….. I uh, I didn’t handle the split so well. Which is part of my reason for coming to see you guys.”

My mind spun like a tilt-or-whirl trying to sort through what needed to be said, and what I should leave out. They didn’t need to know how harshly he’d spoken to me, nor the pathetic amount of sick days I’d used to wallow in my tear-stained sheets and overindulge on snack-packs.

“It sounds like things were serious, honey. Frankly, I’m a little hurt you never told us about him.” My mom had taken an overbearing interest in me when I started dating in high school. Boys were something she saw as her forte, I assume. Dad and I had basketball, now she and I could have boys, and relationships. So, the lack of sharing about my now ex-boyfriend seemed to perturb her.

“It was serious, mom. Yeah. I loved him. I was in love with him. Case in point, why I didn’t handle our breakup with much dignity.”

“What happened, Liv? Anything I should be concerned about,” dad inquired in the ultimate “dad” tone of voice.

“It just didn’t work, guys. It’s done, and life goes on. Nothing more, okay?”

Life goes on, huh? Let’s practice what we preach, dear.

“Losing a love is hard, sweet pea. But you’re a strong, successful young lady, and you’ll recover just fine. I know it!” Mom smiled.

I admired her A+ efforts for the “mother bear” sermon. It’s what I needed, truly. No matter how I wanted to tell her I needed those little chats years ago. I needed that reassurance back when I thought life hated me, and some karmic attack had been yielded on my life. Recently though, she had been heartily trying with our relationship. Both of them had. And although the repairs were long overdue, and far from complete, I was thankful nonetheless.

 I hadn’t been back to my stomping grounds since I’d left slightly over three years prior, so I had my fair share of hellos to exchange, most importantly being my childhood best friend, and the shooting guard to my point guard, Sara. She hadn’t spread her wings from our small town, instead chose the “marry my perfect high school sweetheart and have the most painfully adorable twin boys on the planet” lifestyle, which suited her beautifully.  She met up with me at the local dairy freeze for a greasy order of cheese fries after ending the work day at her parents’ dental practice where she was employed as a hygienist. Sitting alone at the wooden picnic table carved with an array of heart enclosed initials of couples I knew never made it past junior year prom, I felt strangely foreign in the little town now. Distant, or homesick. Every hardware store clerk or mail carrier knowing about the family pet you had to put down because all news travelled like an unruly forest fire in Westfield, now seemed displeasing rather than endearing. I basked in a bit of big-headed pride realizing I had maybe outgrown this little corner of the world, and home suddenly felt eastbound. Whether that had anything to do with my recent ex had yet to be determined.

Sara arrived right on time, going straight for the counter to order her favorite Dr. Pepper ice cream float as she put it “first things first.” The girl may have been the only person in the whole population of 2,000 whom I held in trusting regard, so she was kept up to date through a hefty amount of text messages about the tumultuous romance of Liv and Colton. We exchanged a squealing hug before diving right into the heavy matter.

“How are you? First off, you look freakin’ amazing. The big city looks good on you, Elliott,” Sara flopped into her seat, pulling off her pink labcoat.

“Shut up, you liar. The bags under eyes have bags, Sara. I’ve been a sloppy, sobbing, bitchy, pathetic mess for going on two months now. Like, who am I and will it end?!” I felt so light being able to genuinely come out in the open with all the emotion I was dealing with. A crucial missing piece to my life in the Burgh was a real, true friend such as Sara. Someone to take shoe shopping, and call drunk at 3 a.m. when you’re well into a half of bottle of Pinot and can’t keep from hysterically bawling over the ghastly way your boyfriend spoke to you.  A woman needs the Lavern to her Shirley to share life with.  

“It’s called love, honey. Welcome to the party,” she sucked vigorously through the straw of her float. “We’ve been waiting for you to show up.” I appreciated her gracious attempt to lighten the mood.

“Well if this is what it’s all about, I won’t be coming back.” I spoke mumbled chewing on a fry.

“It doesn’t always turn out this bad, babe. You just fell really, really hard. Which means getting over it will probably be equally as difficult. As much as I hate to see you like this…”

“Easy for you to say, Sara. You practically married Prince Harry or something. Can’t I just borrow yours sometime?” I clowned.

Her husband was truly the best of the best, and he’d been that way since the beginning. So, I always harbored some envy of sorts toward the seeming perfection of their relationship.

“In all honesty, Sare, I don’t know that I’m going to have the same feelings for whoever comes along like I did Colton. I’m not going to be irrational enough to say I’ll never love again, because I know that’s just silly and overdramatic. I’m just not sure it’ll be as raging and romantic, ya’ know what I mean?”

Just as she was about to hit me with some bogus line probably directly from an article she’d read in Cosmopolitan, a familiar voice intruded.

“My God, am I having a flashback right now?” Our varsity head coach Eric Gibson yelled from the open window of his parked car.

The guy was a true, unadulterated saint. He’d pulled me from the 8th grade roster to dress up for him on JV, so I lost count on how many games we’d competed in together. He shed nearly as many tears as my own father had when I collided with that player from Carson County causing me to close out my chapter as a ball player. He quickly locked the doors to his vehicle with two beeps of the horn, and made his way eagerly to us.

“Coach, how are you?” I stood to meet his incoming hug. With Sara still residing in Indiana I’m sure their paths crossed frequently in town.

“I’m doing fine, Liv. Shocked to see you here, girl! Are you back in Westfield?” He patted Sara with a coy hand to the shoulder, and we returned ourselves after the exchange of greetings.

“Oh, no no. Just here for a visit. I finally got the chance to take a little vacation from work, so I thought I’d come check in on Sara, and my parents.”

“Yeah, you’re a real superstar here, you know that? Everyone had a field day when your article made the front page for your paper. It was the talk of the town!”  

I blushed vividly at his statement. “Thanks, coach. It’s really nothing though.”

His mouth opened wide in defense. “It most certainly is something, Liv. It’s a huge accomplishment! Don’t be so modest. Hard work deserves to be recognized, and I know you’re no stranger to working hard in everything you do.” He paused to nudge my shoulder that grazed his. “ You’re talented, Elliott. And scrappy as hell when need be! Those big shots at that newspaper better just stay outta your way.”

Suddenly, there it was. The switch of undignified pity had self-destructed. Leave it to Coach to set me straight as he always did. I was scrappy as hell! The 4 games I’d been ejected from back in school clear evidence. It was time to exercise that same fearlessness and grit to scratch myself to the surface again, leaving behind this lonely, moldy grave Colton had dug for me. He may have outweighed me by an easy sixty pounds, and could’ve snapped me in half in the concern of strength. But mentally? It’d have to be ruled a no contest.

That night, back to square one in the little town in Indiana, over cheese fries & cheap milkshakes, with an out-and-out smack reminder courtesy of coach Gibson, I awoke. The sleepwalking, gray way of life a thing of the past. I excused myself from the parade of self-pity I had long been the grand marshal for.

“Maybe she’ll take your word for it, Coach. I’ve been trying to get that very same thing through that thick head of hers.” Sara interjected, slurping the last traces of whipped cream from her glass.

“Okay, okay, you two. Lay off before it all goes to my head.” I shook with a chuckle, and decided then and there, that I was going to find peace and satisfaction in life when I got back to Pittsburgh, someway, somehow, no matter what. I wanted my heart back from him. The heart he clearly had no use for any longer.

TAGS: @torialeysha @eap1935

[ruffsficstuffplace]

And The AWRD Goes To... (Part 32)

“Sweet Mother Beatrix, how is it even possible to have stored all of this without the house falling off from the sheer weight concentrated in this section alone?!” Diana cried as she sat on a crate, sweating and exhausted.

“It’s a skill myself, Nick, and the rest of the original crew picked up when we were still jetting all across Remnant on expeditions,” Freya said as she sat right beside her, holding her scroll out and tracking how many more boxes Ruby and Akko needed to take out. “As he would say: ‘It’ll fit, you just have to pack it in the right order.’”

“Mayhaps Atlas’ research into super-efficient storage containers should consult with you,” Diana muttered.

“We would, if not for how some of their new breed of researchers can be with the very notion that a problem has already been solved, before they brought their expertise and modern equipment to it,” Freya spat.

“I think we’ve got the last of them!” Ruby called out through scroll, before she read out the labels and their serial codes.

Freya double-checked her record, before she said, “Verified, that is indeed the last batch.”

“Really?” Akko asked. “Are you sure there isn’t more? Because I don’t feel that tired yet.”

“Fret not, Akko, you’ll probably be begging to be hauled back to bed once you’re done working through all your new reading assignments,” Freya replied. “Shutting off communications now, see you two back here.”

Diana groaned. “I really rather regret taking advantage of Atlas’ high-speed trams to get everywhere...”

“As someone who once thought she’d be just fine being the ‘intellectual’ of a dust prospecting team: yes, it would do you well to work on at least your cardio from here on out,” Freya said as she put her scroll back in her pocket. “If nothing else, be faster than the slowest member of your team.”

Ruby and Akko arrived soon after with a trolley loaded with Akko’s old study notes. “So, what’s next, Diana?” Akko asked as she and Ruby started loading the boxes from earlier onto it.

“What’s next is that we all get a fresh change of clothes before we head out, then all of us get a bath!” Diana replied as she and Freya got off the box. “I’m sorry, I understand the attitudes about personal hygiene are very different here in Mistral, but I just can’t while we’re all like this!” she cried, gesturing to herself.

“Bath first it is, Diana!” Akko replied. “You want to bike to Hoshiko, or just use the stream by here? I gotta warn you, though: the first is really tiny, and the second’s always cold, since it flows in from the tundras up north.”

“Stream, to save time,” Diana replied as she stepped past the doors leading to Nick’s workshop and Freya’s laboratory, and back to the living room. “It’s probably what I’m going to be stuck with come second year and when I’m deploying out in the field for real, might as well get used to it now!”

“Are you sure?” Akko asked as she and Ruby followed after her. “We need to have a wood stove right there for winter and really cold days, because otherwise we’d freeze.”

“Feel free to use it, we don’t lack for firewood up here!” Freya called out.

Diana sighed as she opened the front door. “Akko, Dr. Schnee, I lived in Atlas; I’m pretty sure all my years of winter survival classes, field trips, and venturing outdoors in general have adequately prepared me for the ravages of the cold, whatever phenomenon is sapping the heat from my body.

“Your concern is appreciated, but trust me: I’ll be fine.”

“Well, if you say so, Diana!” Akko said as she and Ruby hauled the trolley out and to the elevator, before they were off to the training grounds.

Aside from physical conditioning and combat training, it also had facilities for trade skills and much more theoretical and practical learning, such as a small shaded classroom with a well-worn blackboard and simple desks, a bare-bones workbench with the tools missing, and a counter for both chemistry and cooking, cast iron pots and pans present and stored underneath, but no glassware to be seen.

To Diana’s surprise, however, Akko kept on leading them on till they reached what looked like a massive, sprawling obstacle course, with platforms built up in the trees, tunnels and slides, sturdy climbing nets and rope ladders, even a series of zip-lines and pulleys to get people and materials around quickly and efficiently.

“Is this where you usually studied?” Diana asked as they started unloading the boxes.

“Yep!” Akko replied. “I pretty much know this place by heart from all the times Uncle Nick had me run it for agility practice; just have to combine the muscle memory with all the other stuff, and it’s just going through it enough times that I can run through it in my head, even while I’m sitting still, or especially while I’m taking a test.

“Does that make sense?”

“I suppose I’ll just have to see how it work later...” Diana muttered. “Where’s the stream again?” she asked as they reached the last of the boxes.

“Just over there, actually,” Akko pointing off into the distance. “Want to head out now?”

“Yes,” Diana said, picking up a Duffel bag with all their clothes and towels and handing it to Akko.

“You guys go on without me,” Ruby said as she scanned the labels on the crates, pulled out her scroll. “I wanted to actually crack open these boxes and see how it might all fit together, have it on the back-burner,” she said as she started scribbling with her quill.

“Alright, but don’t take too long!” Diana said. “I’d like for all of us to be present and setting this up as soon as possible.”

“I won’t, I promise!” Ruby said as she wrote.

Akko and Diana headed off to a well-worn wooden path leading downhill, the brush and the branches recently trimmed and cut back. “I’ve been meaning to ask, Akko, what was it that you said exactly to Weiss all those years back?” Diana asked as they walked at an unhurried pace.

“It was a speech I made up on the spot after I helped Weiss get out of one of her most serious depression funks,” Akko said. “I didn’t want to say it because it’s really long, Weiss’ looked tired from all the crying, and you’d need a lot of the context and history between us to really understand most of what I was saying, and why it was so important.”

“Do you mind enlightening me about some of it, then?” Diana asked. “How you two met, and became friends would be a good place to start.”

“Oh, that’s easy! A long, long time back, when Shiny Chariot was still performing, I wanted to know everything there was about her—looked up all the CCT sites, read all the interviews and the press releases, even tried to send messages to all the people that worked with her to try and learn more about her, like the head of her technician crew, Croix Meridies.

“Well, the first two didn’t have as much as I wanted to know, and a lot of the third just never replied to me, or sent me one of those canned responses— except Croix, anyway. I still have her response on my scroll, actually,” Akko said, pulling it out, opening the decades old message, before handing it to Diana.

“’You ruin the wonder of a magic trick as soon as you learn how it’s done. Ask yourself if you really want to know, Akko.’” Diana read. “Well...” she muttered as she handed it back. “That’s… cryptic, and more than a little ominous.”

“Yep!” Akko said put her scroll back into her pocket. “At first I thought it was just her saying I’d spoil the fun of her shows, but then, after all the news that popped up after she stopped performing… aaaanyway, I was a super huge fan, and I was desperate for anyone, anything that could tell me anything new about Chariot.

“And it just so happened that this was right around the time Weiss and the rest of her family sans her dad moved here to Mistral.

“I always knew that Uncle Nick and Aunt Freya lived up in that house by the mountains, but they mostly just kept to themselves, and all I knew about them was that they were retired from their old jobs except when people called in favours, that Uncle Nick was super nice to everyone even if he shouts and swears a lot, and Aunt Freya is a mean old lady you don’t want to mess with.

“Well, I mean, they still are, but you get what I’m saying, right?”

“Right.”

“Anyway, I was trying to talk with her and make friends while her family was having lunch out at Hoshiko this one time—you know, just in general, because they’re new and anyone moving in is big news—and since I opened up with how much I love Shiny Chariot, Uncle Nick mentioned how he and Aunt Freya actually worked with Chariot and Croix back when they were studying at Haven.

“It was mostly because of their finding the Shiny Rod then, but Croix’s work in aura tech and dust applications caught their attention, too.”

“But why them, specifically?” Diana asked. “I’d have understood if they were full-time staff like they are right now, but why not any of the many other scientists, archaeologists, and/or engineers in Remnant?”

“Two reasons, Uncle Nick told me.

“One: they had a LOT of hands-on experience dealing with weird, mysterious crap no one understands—dust deposits big enough for a mine usually tend to attract a lot of weirdness, generally the kind that could kill you, seriously mess you up, or both.

“Two: it was easy to just call them up whenever and they’d come over, and because Croix and Chariot got into a LOT of trouble, pretty much all the time, it was hard to get anyone you had to get an appointment with a few weeks ahead of time, let alone have around almost as much as the full-time staff.

“Oh, hey, we’re already here!” Akko said as they rounded a bend.

Diana looked around, saw they were indeed at a gently burbling stream, the path ending at a wooden platform with benches for sitting; large tubs for throwing filthy clothes in; what looked like an antique washing machine if not for the clearly modern components; the wood stove Akko mentioned earlier; and toiletries and smaller tubs like in the Haven bathhouse.

“Guess I’m just going to have to tell the rest of the story another time!” Akko said as she put her bag down by the benches, started stripping out of her clothes and tossing it into one of the big tubs. “You sure you don’t want to try and fire up the stove?”

“It’ll take too much time,” Diana said as she followed suit. “As necessary as that conversation with Weiss was, it rather broke our original schedule.”

“Suit yourself!” Akko said, tossing Diana a tub, before she tested the water with her foot. She yelped, before she laughed, and waded in, shivering slightly. “It’s colder than usual today, Diana, last chance!” she said as she leaned down and scooped up some water.

“Again, I appreciate the concern, but it’s unnecessary,” Diana said as she tested the water, too. She bit back a yelp as she pulled her foot back—it was cold, really cold.

Splash!

Akko squealed with laughter, shivering for a moment before she reached out for the pump bottle of soap, and lathered up her hands and her arms. So it was that Diana figured that if Akko could handle dumping a tub full of freezing cold water over her head, she’d be fine.

Splash!

She was wrong.

Diana felt her body lock up as the tub fell from her hands, making a splash as it hit the water, floating for a bit before silently coming to a stop to a wooden bar made just for that. The scream that came from her as soon as she regained control was much, much, much louder.

Akko flinched, instinctively looked around in case Grimm had sneaked up on them. She relaxed when all she found was Diana now shivering and hugging herself, trying not to whimper or tear up. “Too cold…?”

Diana shakily nodded her head.

“Want to fire up the stove?”

Diana carefully turned to Akko and shook her head. “I-I-I’ll...” she started, before a cool breeze came by and her teeth chattered too hard to speak.

“Want me to use an old trick me and the others used when it was WAY colder than we expected?” Akko asked.

Diana furiously nodded her head.

“Okay!” Akko said as she waded over.

Diana’s eyes widened as she began her from behind, a noise died in her throat as she felt Akko’s soapy hands on her stomach, her cheeks began to heat up as she felt Akko pressing her chest against Diana’s back.

“Hugging always works, whether it’s warming up before soaping up, or keeping warm while we wait for the water to heat up!” Akko explained cheerfully.

A few moments later, Ruby rounded the bend herself. “Hey guys, so just studying the materials and the instructions for setting it up didn’t really...”

Silence.

“Oh.”

“No! Not ‘Oh.’!” Diana would have cried if she could, but instead it just came out as a pained whimper.

“We’re just hugging because the water was too cold for Diana!” Akko called out.

Ruby slowly nodded her head. “Should I go…?” she asked as she thumbed back the way she came.

“No!” Diana managed, even if it was just a whimper.

“… Okay then!” Ruby said as she headed down to join them. “So, how’s the water?” she asked as she took off her hooded jacket, laid it out on one of the benches.

“It’s a lot colder usual!” Akko replied. “I don’t know if you can handle it, so might want to pour it slowly than just dump it all over your head than Diana did. I’m good for hugging if it’s too cold with you too, by the way!”

“Thanks, appreciate it!” Ruby said as she stripped out of the rest of her clothes, stepped a foot into the water. “Woah!” she cried as she pulled it back. “Man, you weren’t kidding!” she said as she grabbed her own tub, and waded in.

“Want to try and fire up the wood stove?” Akko asked, still hugging Diana. “Diana might not agree to it, though.”

“Nah, it’s cool—it’s not nearly as bad as some of the winter-time courier runs I’ve had!” Ruby replied, before she dumped some water over her head.

Splash!

Ruby squealed with laughter, shivering before she set the tub down besides Akko’s. “Yep, not nearly as bad—and I don’t even need to keep moving to stay warm!”

“Speaking of which… you all better now, Diana?” Akko said, casting a glance at her.

Diana nodded, her face red. “Yes… you can let go now, Akko...” she whispered.

Akko did, and the three of them went back to cleaning themselves up, though Diana was noticeably quiet as she faced away from them. However, things quickly went back to normal as they toweled themselves off, changed into fresh clothes, and headed back to the Training Grounds.

“You were saying earlier, Ruby?” Diana asked as she looked the opened boxes, some of their contents laid out.

“Studying them by myself wasn’t as productive as I thought it would be,” Ruby replied. “The instructions for setting them up had a lot of short-hand and code that I can’t really understand. Lack of proper, legible documentation: as much a problem in engineering as it is in programming,” she finished with a nod.

“Really sorry about that,” Akko said as she unpacked their test model. “We used to make it easier for other people to understand, until we realized it was really only just me, Weiss, and the rest of her family setting these up, so we all got used to reading the code without a key on hand to save time and effort.”

“None of your other friends ever helped with these reviews?” Ruby asked.

Akko visibly winced as she was pulling out rolled up tarpaulins.

“… Sorry.”

“Yeah, no, it’s fine,” Akko said as she pulled out the rest of them. “I figured it was going to come up at some point, anyway, so I might as well tell you guys that I was always the one dragging the entire class behind. I was pretty terrible at basically everything about being a huntress, up until I became friends with Weiss, and Uncle Nick and Aunt Freya started offering to have me over for training and tutoring over the summer and on Saturdays.

“I couldn’t get good grades at grade school, sucked at all the electives meant to get a leg up for when I was old enough for combat school, and because my aura levels were super low back then, and I found my semblance SUPER late, no one really wanted to be teammates with me.

“It was even harder when Shiny Chariot disappeared, and everyone but me seemed to forget all about her...” she muttered as she pulled out a box full of random knickknacks, got a far-off look in her eyes. “… So, yeah, even if this IS how I learn best, it’s going to be a hell of an uphill climb in a snowstorm, and you forgot your warm jacket at home.”

Diana put a hand on her shoulder, and smiled. “Fret not, Akko: I know the feeling.”

Akko looked at her in surprise. “You do...? But you’re super good at, well, everything.”

“But it wasn’t always that way,” Diana countered. “My aura levels were exceptionally low when it was unlocked for me, and it took a full two years for me to finally manifest my family’s semblance. I only have such ease with academics because I spent all my free time in my family’s library studying, or training, which, ah…”

She sheepishly looked away. “… Had its own consequences... mostly to my social life as well, actually.”

Akko blinked, before she smiled. “Huh. You know, it’s kinda funny how we’re all so similar in a lot of ways; except for Weiss, I thought we couldn’t all be more different, like oil and water, wouldn’t mix kind of different.”

“’Dig deeper,’” Ruby said.

“Pardon?” Diana asked.

“’Dig deeper,’” Ruby repeated. “It’s what we said in the Bunker, when it seems like there was someone who felt like they couldn’t make friends with anyone. You just gotta open up more, till you find the thing that’ll make someone want to open up to you, too, and when that happens, you can start making a real connection.

“… Well, actually, we also said that because our storage facilities only ever went deeper and deeper down because of how the school is designed and because we can’t really expand horizontally, and sometimes something gets literally buried underneath a whole lot of other crap…

“But you know what I mean, right?”

“Right,” Diana said. “Look, much as I enjoy how much we’re all bonding, opening up, and strengthening our friendship here, we should really get to studying. Team AWRD to work…?” she said, hesitantly raising her palm in the air.

“To work!” Akko and Ruby replied, smiles on their faces as they started grabbing materials, and setting it all up.

[yoonmin-writes-blog]

Hello! Jungkook scenario when he gets the reader pregnant not plan (you guys are dating ) you tell him & end up aruging and he blames you saying mess up things tell you to leave with the baby. You leave Korea for 4 years, come back with your daughter you guys see each other again. He wants to fix things but you dont after a few months you give him a chance.

Hi there! Thank you so much for the request, and we’re so sorry for the wait! Nonetheless, we hope you enjoy!

Btw, we kind of got carried away with this scenario and made it kind of long, haha! Hope you don’t mind!

-❤ Kat & Sar 💖

Jungkook Pregnancy Scenario

Everything in life seemed perfect. You had the job of your dreams, you lived in a beautiful city, and you had the perfect boyfriend. It was like a movie, or a fairytale.

But today, you realized that life isn’t perfect and that all good things must come to an end.

“Pregnant…” You watched as a look of pure terror spread across the face of your “perfect” boyfriend, Jungkook. “Y-yeah…” Your heart sank. This wasn’t quite the reaction you thought you were going to receive. “How?…” You knew it wasn’t planned. You thought you took all the precautions, but not even that had worked. “I don’t know…we did everything we could but…” your voice trailed off. He puts his head in his hands as he collapses onto the bed next to you two. “Listen Kookie…” you say as you gently take a seat next to him.

You wrap your arms around him and lay your head on his shoulder, “Everything will be alright…we’ll be okay…” He raises his head again, “Really?” A small smile forms on your face, “Of course, Kookie.” You rub his back, “This was an accident…but we can deal with it, we can get through it.” He looks at you, “Wow…are you sure?” You smile and gently cup your hands around his face, “Of course, Kookie. We just need to be calm.” He smiles back, “Wow, you’re being so brave, (Y/N).” He kisses your forehead. “Thank you, but I couldn’t do it without you.” He lets out a sigh of relief. “Of course, I’ll be there with you all the way through it.” Your smile begins to grow wider. “I’ll hold your hand through it and try my best to make it seem as painless as possible.” You giggle, “Thank you Kookie, but that won’t be for a long while.” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows at you. “What do you mean? We can’t wait too long, you won’t be able to get it if you do.” Now you’re confused, “Huh? Jungkook, what are you talking about?” You start to loosen your grip on him, “I’m talking about you getting a…you know…abortion.”

Your eyes widen in horror, “W-What, no?! Jungkook, no that’s not at all what I meant” He lets go of you, “(Y/N)…then what do you mean? You can’t expect us to raise it.” Your heart drops. “Why not?…” Piece by piece, you’re perfect reality was crumbling. “We’re still so young! We’re not ready! I’m not ready!” Your hands begin to tingle, “B-but…we can’t just…abandon it.” Jungkook throws his hands in the air, “Well I can’t just abandon my life!” Your eyes dart to him filled with shock, “I’m sorry, but it’s the truth! I still have so much I want to do. And I can’t do it with a kid!” You slowly shake your head. “Jungkook…” He stands up, “Shit, (Y/N). What do you want me to do?! I didn’t want this!” You stutter, trying to say anything but he cuts you off. “I didn’t agree to this, okay?! This isn’t fair to me!” He says, raising his voice even louder.

What he says begins to anger you. “Are you being serious? You are at just as much fault as I am! You played just as big of a role in making this as I did!” He jerks his head towards you, “This has to be your fault! I did my part!” He balls his fists up in anger, “You know what? You always screw things up! And now look what you did!” Your eyes begin to water, “Stop it! Stop blaming me, this isn’t my fault!” He starts to pace around the room. “Jungkook, I am not giving up on this baby. We brough-” “No! You did! This isn’t my problem!” You gasp at what was just said, “Jungkook, you are the father! There’s no changing that! You can’t just-” He waves his hand, “You know what? If you want to keep this baby so badly, then fine. But do it without me.”

More and more of those shards of your storybook life break apart, and they seemed to be stabbing at you right in your heart. “You can’t expect me to do this alone!” The pool of tears in your eyes begin to flow down your red hot cheeks. “I’m not dealing with this!” “You have to!” You walk over to place your hand on his arms, but he shrugs you off. “Don’t touch me!” He scoffs. “Jungkook please…please don’t leave me alone.” He turns his back towards you. “It your choice, (Y/N). You can either stay with me, or you can take the baby and leave.” More fragments of your once flawless life spiral down around you. You take in one last breath, steadying your breathing.

“Fine…” You make your way to the door, and before leaving you take one last glance at your now lost love, who’s back is still facing you. “Goodbye Jungkook…” You slam the door behind you. Crash.

There goes your fairytale.

~4 years later~

She giggles as you tickle her tummy. You two were on a plane to Korea, where you once lived. You continue to make her laugh, making funny faces or noises, and tickling her over and over. She laughs one last time before falling forward and placing her head in the crook of your neck, “Aww, thank you for the hug, darling.” You hold her tight, never wanting to let go. She was the love of your life. You would do anything for her.

You decided to take your daughter to Korea to show her more of her background. Once you moved to America where you raised her, she wasn’t able to be exposed to much of her own culture. You had about a week off from work, so you decided to use the time to expose her to her heritage. Plus, you missed your hometown.

Hours passed and you were finally able to unload the plane and make your way into the airport in Seoul. You balanced her on your hip as you used your other hand to carry your guy’s luggage. Before you knew it, you were in a taxi to head to your hotel, which wasn’t to far from the city you grew up in.

The next day, you were holding her in your arms as you walked down the streets you once knew. Every little detail, you told her about. Every little nook and cranny in the city, you had a story to tell from it. She listened, even if she didn’t always understand what you were saying. You took her to your favorite spots. The coffee shop, the store you always shopped at, even the library where you met her father. As you walked down the aisles with her and looked at all the different books, you couldn’t help but think of him. Each day she begins to look more and more like him. She has his nose, his eyes, she even smiles like him. It hurts. Her father was a man you grew to hate, and to see him in her makes it that much harder.

Before heading back to the hotel, you decided to make a stop at your favorite grocery store. You made an excuse to yourself, saying you needed some food. But really, you wanted to look and see how much has changed.

Her eyes widen in awe at all the pretty colors, like usual. You let her pick out a snack, as do you. You make your way to the checkout line, making sure to keep balance of the little one on your hip. As your waiting, she starts to feel fussy. She begins to whine, and you start to rub her head as you coo at her in an attempt to calm her down. “Darling, it’s okay. We’ll be at the hotel soon and you can take a nap okay?” You rock her back and forth, soothing her.

“(Y/N)?” You heard a familiar voice behind you call your name. Your heart drops, praying it’s not who you think it is. You decide to ignore the person, paying your full attention to your fussy child. “(Y/N)…Is that you?” You sigh. Please….please don’t let it be him. You turn around, your heart racing. And just your luck.

It was him.

You stayed silent. She clung to you, put off by the stranger. “Oh my god…” He says. You still didn’t respond. Instead, you rubbed her back and tried to turn away. “Hey…” He puts his hand on your shoulder, and she whines even more. “She doesn’t like strangers.” You say, turning away from him once again. “(Y/N), don’t be like that.” You let out another sigh. He’s right. You shouldn’t be acting so childish. Thankfully, the cashier calls you over. “Hold on.” You say, as you walk to check out. You pay and thank the cashier. “Your daughter is very beautiful, by the way.” You smile. “Thank you very much.” you reply, smiling down at your daughter. You begin to walk out the door, hoping he forgot about you. “Wait!” Damn. You stop, letting him catch up to you. “(Y/N)…” He says once again. You turn around, finally giving in. “Yes?” A smile creeps onto his face, but you continue to remain unamused. “It’s uh…been a while. Huh?” You nod your head. She clings to you once again, hiding her face in your neck. “That’s uh…” “Yes, it is.” You rub her back once again, reassuring her that everything was okay. He pauses for a while, looking at her. At the both of you.

“What’s her name?” He says, keeping his eyes on the both of you. “Areum.” You say flatly. He smiles, “It fits her well. Beauty. Just like her mother.” You frown at him, letting him know he was crossing the line. He lowers his head in apology. There was a silence between you two. “Listen, we should probably get going.” “Wait!” You look back at him, both arms wrapped around Areum. “Um…How long will you be staying here.” You hesitate, keeping your arms around her and a safe distance from him. “Why do you want to know, Jungkook?” He seems a little hurt by what you said, but he continues. “If you had any free time, maybe we could catch up?” You were hoping he wasn’t going to say that. “I don’t think that’s a good idea…” He sighs, “Listen, I know we left off on a rough patch, but…” You shake your head, “Jungkook…no, I’m sorry.” He tries to step towards you, but you back away. “Please, (Y/N). I’ve been wanting to talk to you these last few years-” You start to get irritated, “Oh, really?! Then how come I never received a call or text, huh?!” You raised your voice slightly, which startled Areum as she squirmed in your arms. You turn to her, cooing at her once again and reassuring her that everything was okay. You sigh once again, lowering your voice to a normal tone. “Listen, Jungkook. I don’t want to talk to you, and that’s that. Now please, let me and my daughter leave.” You begin to turn around once again.

“No! Please! (Y/N) I regretted everything that night! I shouldn’t have let you go! I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve been there for her! It was the biggest mistake I ever made, and I’m sorry!” He rambles, and you stop in your tracks once again. He continues, “The day you left, I wanted to run after you and apologize. I wanted to take back everything I said that night. It was wrong, all of it! I don’t truly know why I never did, I just…I was to scared.” You stood there listening, with your back facing him. You listened to what he was saying, feeling conflicted. “I was hoping that maybe…maybe you would come back to me. That you would try and smack some sense into me, and convince me to stay with you and raise the baby with you. But you didn’t…you shouldn’t have. I didn’t deserve it. You were right for not coming back to me. And I was wrong for leaving you all alone to raise a child by yourself.” Your expression softens slightly as you continue to clutch onto your daughter. “I’ve never been able to live with myself since then. I kept telling myself to call you. To get back in touch with you. But, I was too ashamed. I didn’t want to face you.” You quietly sighed to yourself, you began to feel torn.

For four years, he left you alone. And in those years, your hatred grew for him more and more. You were stuck raising a child with no help whatsoever. And you love Areum. You would go through that struggle all over again if it was for her sake. But you couldn’t deny that it was incredibly difficult. You spent so many restless hours throughout the day working at one of your three jobs while Areum was at daycare, or you were spending countless, sleepless nights feeding her while your stomach growled because you only had enough money for her formula and baby food.

And you blamed him. You blamed him for all of it.

But now, he’s here, begging for your forgiveness. Something you never thought would happen, not even in your dreams. You thought he had moved on. You thought he found someone else as he continued to live his life without a care in the world. When in reality, he never stopped thinking about you. “I completely shut down when you left. I didn’t leave our -er, my house…for I think almost a month. They had to kick my door in and force me out. It took a long time to get back on my feet, but I did. And I got a job. A real job. I raised money, and I…I set money aside so I could go see you and…her.” You raised your eyebrows, shocked. You slowly turn around. He continues once more, “I…I guess I don’t need to use it to fly to America anymore. I had also been saving money to send to you, to help you out. But, I was still too scared to face you.” You stared at him wide eyed. “I’m sorry I should’ve sent it to you a long time ago I just…” You nod your head, urging him to move on. “M-my point is…” He takes a breath, steadying his voice. “My point is, I never stopped thinking about you, or the baby. And I regret the decision I made more than anything else in my life. It was a huge mistake. and I…I want to fix it.” He pauses, breathing in once more. “I want to…fix us.” Your expression has completely softened. You look down, trying to decide. Maybe…it’s worth it to have a little talk with him? You take in a long breath, readying yourself to say words you never thought you’d ever say to him..

“Areum and I are staying in the hotel down the street. If you stop by around this time tomorrow, we should be there.” You let out a shaky breath still surprised by what you’re saying. He smiles widely, “I will, don’t doubt it for a second.” You nod to him, “We need to go now, she’s getting cranky. But…we’ll see you tomorrow?” He nods, a giant grin across his face. “Yes, you will. I promise!” You nod once again, this time offering a small smile. “Goodbye Jungkook…I’ll see you at the hotel.” You say, as you walk off.

You begin to walk the opposite direction of him. Areum lifts her head to look up at you. You gaze into her big, sparkling eyes. Once again, you were reminded of how much she is beginning to look like her father. But for the very first time, this reminder didn’t bring hatred towards him. No. This time you felt a warm feeling spreading through your chest.

Hope.

Maybe this fairytale will have a happy ending after all.

[promptothesunshineboy-blog]

PromptoXReader slightly angsty fanfic with a never-before-seen angry/protective Prompto!

ReaderXPrompto fanfiction with a bit of angst~ But also a rarely seen angry/protective Prompto... spurred into action by angsty stuff~

Trigger warnings for: Self harm, violence, abuse.

This is largely (almost exactly) based on myself and my past/relationships and an incident that happened to me (and my brother) very recently. 

There will be a bit of foul language including one particularly bad word.. but I will censor that one with a little star~ Its his favorite name for me though *bitter laughter*  

[[Disclaimer (also slight spoiler for the story ahead I guess): In the real life version of this...Although he has hit me several times in the past, this time.. he did not hit me.. though he made a threatening move towards me. ]] 

Your backstory: You never knew your biological father, who abandoned you and your mother soon after you were born and signed away all his rights to you. When you were still a young girl, your mother married who became your stepfather. He is a cruel and heavily alcoholic man. For 15 years he physically and mentally abused you; tore you down and made you feel worthless for the great duration of your life. He also regularly abused your mother, though you were always his main target. Your mother and he had 2 more children: your now 16 year old brother and 11 year old sister. Finally, years overdue, after a last-straw incident, your mother finally got up the nerve and divorced him. You are now a young adult in your early 20s, Your siblings, still  minors and of his blood, are still required to have visitation with him. With you out of his grasp, your, now ex, stepfather has turned most of his aggression onto your brother. 

You are traveling and fighting alongside your four best friends: Noctis, Gladiolus, Ignis, and Prompto. And, er, ok... you kinda have a big ‘ol crush on Prompto. The boys have been supportive and patient with you all along. They build you up and make you feel worthy and happy. You feel as though you’ve truly found your place in life alongside these wonderful friends of yours. Maybe even especially so in Prompto. You are all very close but theres a little something extra there with you and Prom...

Story starts under the cut.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Your breath caught in your throat as you read the texts from your younger brother. On one hand, this was nothing new, you were aware how much he was affected by your, now ex, stepfather. Tiny cuts he tried to hide were the physical marker of his anguish. The very same man had affected you so deeply for the majority of your life... And you too had been there before; with the liquid red running from your body in the shower as you sobbed brokenly. You never wanted the same for them. You had always wished to protect your siblings from the same fate as you. He was a cruel man; violent, intolerant, and a dreadful alcoholic. He had put you through living hell for 15 years of your life. As a young adult now, on a journey with your 4 best friends in the world, you were just starting to rebuild some semblance of confidence and self-worth after the long years of abuse. You were a warrior and member of the crownsguard, fighting bravely alongside your friends. Nonetheless, your ex stepfather frightened you more than you would like to admit. And now came the desperate text messages from your brother, pleading for you to come get him. These texts carried an air of frightening desperation and left the blood draining from your face as you read them. The usually chipper blonde boy who sat beside you now had his brows knit together in concern as he studied your grave expression. Prompto hesitantly rested a hand on your shoulder “Hey, y/n, is... everything alright?”  

You swiveled your head to face him, suddenly snapped from your daze. Blinking owlishly at the freckled boy, your voice carried a tremble as you told him about the texts. He listened intently, nodding as you spoke. He knew all about what your ex stepdad was like. You had opened up to the group on this matter before, in a tearful unloading met with many hugs and supportive words. The others had gone, on chocoboback, to the nearby marketplace not long ago, leaving you and Prompto behind where you had been engaged in an energized round of King’s Knight. Now, silence settled around the two of you for a moment as you sat alone together outside the RV. Prompto broke the silence, tilting his head a bit to catch your downcast e/c eyes “Hey... If you want, I’ll go with you.” The words were soft and soothing, calming your heart rate if only a small amount. You peered into his face with a small nod and a whispered “Thanks, Prom.” 

You shot your brother a text as you climbed into the Regalia. Your trembling hands were best kept away from the steering wheel this time, so Prompto took the wheel. As he drove as cautiously as possible, the sunny blonde glanced over towards you and offered and encouraging smile. You return it with all the resolve you can muster, but your mind quickly turns back to worrying. Facing your tormentor, the safety of your brother, possible legal repercussions... ‘It was technically your stepfather’s legal right to have custody of your siblings right now. If you came and took them away against his wishes, he could potentially report you for kidnapping.’ You furrowed your brow. ‘And knowing him, you really wouldn’t put it past him to do it out of spite’ You flinched a bit as suddenly, the young man across from you reached over and slipped his warm hand over yours. You took a breath and focused on the comforting warmth of his larger hand over your own small, trembling one. Biting your lip, you resolved yourself. You absolutely could not leave them at his mercy, especially with the tone of your brother’s messages. 

As you pulled into the dirt driveway of the small basement apartment that your ex stepfather lived in, you had no sooner stepped out of the Regalia when you were assaulted by a terrible commotion as your brother flew out the door, with your stepfather; all anger, beady eyes and beer belly, hot on his heels. Your little sister followed soon after, shouting at him to leave your brother alone. Protective instinct taking over, you hurriedly crossed the distance between you and your brother as the brute of a man caught the skinny youth by the arm and yanked him roughly backwards. Adrenaline rushed through your head. As your brother was grabbed, you barely recalled hearing Prompto’s panicked voice just behind you as he called out “Stop! Don’t do this!” shortly before you drowned it out with your own voice, raised in anger and fear all at once as you took hold of your brother and tried to free him from your stepdad’s grasp. “Let go of him!!” Your voice loud despite the crack in it. You wrestled your brother free, and he stumbled to your side where Prompto had apparently swiftly ushered over your sister in the heat of the moment and now stood with a hand on her shoulder. In that split second, it all shifted and your ex stepfather’s wrath was now on you. He charged you and forced you several steps backwards as his much larger frame closed in on yours. Everything was a flurry of sound and motion as everyone shouted, overwhelming your senses. The violent man leaned into you, inches from your face as he screamed. His breath was heavy with the scent of alcohol; it hit you like a blow to the gut as he berated you; “You stupid little c*nt! Get off of my god damn property! This is my son and I get to say weather he stays or goes! Me!! No one else! Especially not you, you piece of shit homewrecker! I will call the police and have your ass thrown in jail for kidnapping, you fucking c*unt! How dare you?! How fucking dare you?!?! You ruined this fucking family!!!” 

His belligerent screaming rings unbearably loudly in your ears. Your eyes well with tears as you squeeze them shut and try to block out his words. The words everyone assured you was a lie. The words they said he spoke because he has a victim complex and was trying to manipulate you. And yet... the dread filled you as you stood, petrified, drawing into yourself and shuddering.  You opened your eyes just in time to see him draw back his hand. The noise when the back of his hand hit your face was as sharp as the sting you felt, stars exploding in front of your eyes as you stumbled back, 

No sooner had the moment of impact passed, however, then you witnessed, eyes wide, a sight you had never witnessed before. Prompto, the usual cheerful ball of sunshine, had crossed the short distance between the two of you with an expression that could only be described as feral. What happened in a split second seemed to play out in slow motion before your eyes. Prompto’s leather gloved hand, balled into a fist, collided with you ex stepfather’s face with the force of a train wreck. He reeled and stumbled away from you before his shirt collar was snatched up by Prompto’s free hand and the younger man drove him back with the full force of his lanky yet leanly muscled body. Fuled by protective fury, Prompto slammed the larger man roughly into the side of the house and held him there as a viscous growl tore from his throat, words cutting like a blade as he shouted “DON’T YOU DARE HIT HER!!”  The world became still, save for the winded panting of the two men. The gentle blue eyes of your best friend were now a steely cobalt, trained unfaltering, on the eyes of your tormentor. Through gritted teeth he pushed words heavy with emotion “She is not the problem! She was NEVER the problem! And neither are these kids... YOU are!!” 

No one said a word. Slowly, Prompto released his grip on the other man and backed away, never breaking the eye contact. His voice low, a tremble of raw emotion still laced within it, he spoke slowly and confidently “Y/n is.. the nicest and mot beautiful soul I have ever met. Despite you... despite everything... that you put her through. It only ever made her more kind. She is not the problem and never was. She is NOT what you call her. And I will not let you hurt her or these kids anymore..” His face was stern and his voice held a confidence and command such as you’ve never heard from Prompto before. 

Hesitantly, your stepfather spits in the dirt near Prompto’s feet before muttering a begrudging “Some kind of white knight, ain’t ya? Fuck you.. Just you fucking wait...” With the shallow threat, he turned on his heel and stormed away into his apartment, slamming the door behind him. The four of you clamor into the Regalia and hastily pull away. Trembling fingers tap out a message to the other chocobros on your phone, explaining what’s happened. Quietly, from the back, your brother mumbles an emotional, yet drained “Thank you...” You look in the rearview at him and watch as he tugs down his sleeves over bandaged arms. You hung your head as a few tears fell silently. The silence was broken by Prompto’s shaking voice “I-I’m sorry... I just... I don’t know what came over me... but I couldn’t just let that happen.. I couldn’t bear to see it go on....”  The freckled boy blinked away the fogginess in his eyes as he began to come down from his adrenaline rush and his emotions bubbled over. Cutting him off, you grabbed his hand between both of yours and squeezed it tight, tears spilling down your cheeks. “No, Prompto, thank you. For caring about me... for all those things you said. No one... no one has ever fought for me before.... I never thought... I was worthy of protecting...” A soft sob escapes you as you clutch his hand tightly. 

Later, the rest of your friends meet up with the two of you and your siblings at your mother’s house. She came home from errands hurriedly after receiving your call. The rest of that night is spent in a makeshift group therapy session. The adults beginning to plan out what actions may need to be taken for the future. A better future. One where your tormentor can no longer hurt you or the ones you love. The sharing of feelings, tears, and many hugs evolves into games and laughter as the group shifts to trying to lighten the mood. Before you know it, the hour has grown late and you all decide to stay the night at your moms house. Its a small but warm and inviting place. A different house than the one you spent your formative years in. One with a new beginning..  As you lay on the couch and stare past the sleeping forms of Noctis, Gladio, and Ignis where they lay curled on the air mattresses upon the living room floor, a small movement in the corner of your eye catches your attention. From the extended recliner beside the couch, Prompto extends a hand toward you. You reach up and lace your fingers with his, enjoying the comforting heat of his touch. As you allow your intertwined hands to rest on the arm of the couch just above your head, you peer though the dark of the room at each other. There is just enough light to make his eyes twinkle ever so slightly, and you can make out a soft adoring smile on his face.. one which you return, heart swelling, before slowly drifting to sleep. 

[asenseofagency]

Easy as That

After several days of being gloomy and non-communicative, my husband approached me last night and announced with trepidation that he thought we should separate. I knew it, or something like it, was coming. He was clearly heavy-hearted about speaking his mind. I, on the other hand, had to hold back my DELIGHT.

There is nothing like the feeling of coming to the same hard-won conclusion at the same time. The overriding feeling was relief for both of us I think and I’m so proud that we were able to be honest - with zero enmity so far - about the fact that our relationship had more or less traveled its course and that we wanted different, irreconcilable things out of our futures. 

Mine is still unclear; I don’t wrap up grad school interviews until the end of February and it could be well into March before I’m sure what my options are. At the moment, under the best of possible circumstances, I’d end up in Southern California by the end of the summer but the reality could be very different and a lot more humble. We’ll see what materializes.

I’m a little sad, a little scared, and a lot relieved.

The fear is a product of the realization that as I take a shot at my academic dream, I’ve jettisoned a lot of personal relationships along the way. This has been mostly a coincidence of timing. I began to see that a lot of the relationships in my life took more from me (in an energetic, emotional sense) than they gave back. So I’ve been letting go of a lot. That’s all good and arguably healthy but it has served to isolate me. My relationship with my soon-to-be-ex-husband was one of the last really emotionally intimate relationships I had with anyone. Breaking that off strips me of essentially my last confidante, my last emotional safety net, the last person with whom I was able to be fully, unreservedly honest, which feels, admittedly, dangerous.

I’m also aware that if I did want to replace that relationship with a new one, the trust/honesty/communication bar is set almost impossibly high.

But maybe a high bar is a good thing. And if I do get the opportunity to move, I’ll be rebuilding a life from scratch anyway, and maybe the stripping of personal ties will turn out to have been inevitable. In doing it ahead of time, I might have saved myself some later grief. You never know until you know.

The fear persists. I know I have a tendency to isolate myself. Though I’m not shy or socially anxious, I’m an introvert through and through, preferring coffee and books and cozy rainy days at the house nine times out of ten to parties, events, and girls’ nights out. Losing my husband (and best friend) in this process means making a conscious effort not to allow my natural isolation to become pathological.

Again, a relocation could make a lot of things academic...

I’m a little sad because I know, once the distance happens, once the real break takes place and we’re not co-habitating anymore, I will start to miss his companionship in earnest (and probably vice versa). We lived largely separate lives for sure. That, I expect, will make the change less noticeable but our routine included various weekly dinner and brunch dates, shared sit-downs in front of whichever TV series we might both be following at the time, and the absence of those things - our opportunities to bond and catch up with the events of each other’s week - that absence will be the thing that stings most. Repeatedly, and for a while. That will be hard to prepare for.

The relief, however, comes in many, many forms.

If I get the opportunity to move in conjunction with grad school, or even if I move for the purpose of taking another job, housing becomes infinitely easier under some circumstances. My needs are very minimal. In fact, I thrive on a streamlined environment, for a long while in my young adulthood not owning so much as a single piece of furniture. I look forward to the opportunity again. Minus a partner, a pet, and a pile of shit, subsidized campus housing in the form of studio apartments becomes a really appealing option to me.

And I’m relieved because my husband, at least at the moment, wants to stay in the house we’re currently in. That house feels every bit an anchor. I haven’t got the first idea legally how it might transpire and perhaps it’s financially disadvantageous to me but if given the opportunity to sign the house over to him instead of putting it up for sale indefinitely, I’d gladly take the easy way out to get the payment off my hands. His ability to make that payment on a single salary is what’s in question. He’s got a line on a better job, so it could be an eventuality, but I’m skeptical. In either case, the possibility of having the house end up squarely in his hands is ideal to me. We’ll see under what circumstances it can be accomplished. A troubling outcome would involve living in another state on a shoestring and remaining jointly financially responsible for a monthly mortgage payment; I’m motivated to avoid that at all costs, so it’s imperative we remain on the same team as we sort those problems out.

I’m relieved he was able to be honest with himself too. I didn’t dread anything so much as him convincing himself to relocate and then regretting the decision later. He was able to be totally honest with himself, even when it was painful and awkward, and I’m so happy about that. He likes where he’s at, he likes his small circle of friends and family, and he has zero desire to uproot. Easy as that. I don’t understand it but it was a matter of him acknowledging his own truth. If or when I move, that unloads me of a huge emotional burden; I’ve only got myself to manage.

We had also become more roommates than spouses. There hadn’t been any kind of romantic feelings in a long time and no rekindling was forthcoming. That transition is probably inevitable with all long-term relationships: the slow dying of passion and its replacement by... sweatpants and familiarity. We talked about that openly, that maybe monogamy as we know it is a scam. My mother-in-law, with whom my husband had apparently rehearsed some of our conversation, confessed to him that had it been socially acceptable in her day, she might never have stayed married as long as she did (!). Also, some of our mutual acquaintances who seem the most self-actualized are committed bachelors and bachelorettes, without the stability of a life-long partner, yes, but free to take life’s opportunities as they come. The likelihood that either of us gets into a long-term relationship in the immediate future seems vanishingly small and that doesn’t speak to any kind of bad experience we’ve had together as much as it does the realization that lust (certainly) and love (often) die. Friendship remains, which you can have anyway, at any time, with essentially anyone, to your chosen degree of intimacy. So maybe it’s time for a change of perspective with respect to what you’re looking to get out of romantic relationships. At the very least, it’s worth sampling and an ancient, long-subdued part of me is excited about the idea of casually dating again at some future point in time, without the expectation of longevity. It seems bewildering to navigate at the moment but on the whole, what a relief.

The separation also alleviates some of our long-held grudges. Though we’re great friends, we’re incompatible on some level. I’m disciplined; a thinker, a worker, a grinder. He’s short-term-oriented, easy-goin, and basically unambitious. Those aren’t statements of personal worth or value but they are fundamentally incompatible modes of operating and things that were never going to change about either of us, I’m sure now. He was almost certainly irked by my obsession with productivity; I grated at his escapism and lack of motivation. It’s a relief not to have to fight that fight anymore.

But if I’m relieved that there are no bad feelings toward each other now, I’m cautious, too. We’ll have to live apart for a year before we can legally divorce and in that time, I know, feelings can change. Resentment can grow from the smallest kernel of inconvenience and bad communication, so I’ve got to remind myself that even after we’re not living together I need to prioritize keeping the lines of communication open and constructive. We’ll be disentangling our financial lives from each other for a while and that’s just the type of thing that can go badly wrong if you lose common ground and end up at cross-purposes. Though it seems impossible now, I want to make sure we avoid becoming, in any way, adversaries.

Still everything feels... movable, unencumbered now. There are plenty of compromises to be made but they are the mundane compromises of timing, convenience, money not of personal desire or ambition. It’s an indescribably strange feeling to have made such a big decision and not be able to act on it quite yet either, to be in a holding pattern while the options develop themselves. We’ll be living together at the barest minimum for two or three months more, likely longer, watching, day-by-day with bated breath, as the future pieces itself together into something recognizable, actionable. Without a doubt, it forces you to live in the moment. You put one foot in front of the other and trust that the path will materialize as you go.

[adambstingus]

20+ Of The Most Unbelievably Smart Things Pets Have Done That Surprised Their Owners

Our pets are so precious to us, they are far more than just animals that we look after and have around for company. They become our best friends, and part of the family. Although it’s very easy to bond emotionally with our pets, sharing a cuddle or playing games together will do that, being on the same wavelength intellectually is less common.

Sure, you can train your dog, hamster or rat to be obedient, (cats too, but that may prove to be a little more difficult!) but what we have here are true geniuses, unique personalities that go far beyond what we would imagine from an animal!

This list, compiled by Bored Panda, is about those times when animals have surprised us with their intelligence. When people were able to understand just what their pets were thinking, and communicate with them on a higher level! Scroll down to check them out for yourself, and feel free to share your own articulate animals stories in the comments below!

This is a completely true story. Weird, but true, and shows a really impressive level of intelligence in my cat. It happened when I was a teenager.

I’m sitting on the couch, and my cat walks into the room and starts meowing loudly, but not coming to me. So I stand up and go toward him, and he starts walking away, so I follow. He leads me, meowing the whole way and looking back to make sure I’m following, to the bathroom. Weird, right? Just wait.

So we’re in the bathroom, and he hops up on the toilet and, get this, he PEES IN IT. I was floored. One, he peed in the toilet. Like a person. He’d never done that before. It’s impressive that he knew what a toilet was for. But two, he brought me there to show me. Why? This is where the real intelligence comes into it.

Well, he stops peeing and turns to look into the toilet and then looks at me. So I look in the toilet. It’s full of blood. He had a terrible kidney infection (as the vet later confirmed), and this is how he told me.

Think of all the things he had to understand to do this!! He had to know he was sick and in which part of his body the infection was. He had to know that the bathroom was the place where I deal with the part of my body that matches up with his sick part. He had to know what a toilet was for and how to use it. And he knew that if I understood the problem, I’d be able to fix it.

Seriously, that cat was incredible.

We used to have a cockatoo, as well as some cats and dogs.

We were teaching the dogs some tricks, and the cockatoo was just doing his bird thing. Every day, the same routine: get some treats, call the dogs, sit, stay, lay down, roll over, get a treat, etc.

One night we were watching TV and hear the cockatoo call the dog by name. “Sit. Stay. Lay down. Roll over. Good Boy”. We heard something hit the floor, and then he called out the next dog’s name.

Walked into the kitchen to find the cockatoo in the spot we always stand, giving orders to the dogs (who were obeying!), and then pulling treats out of the cup and dropping them on the floor. This went on for some time.

Dogs now liked the cockatoo, and would let him ride on their backs. Cockatoo would call them, tell them to lay down, would climb on, and ride around like a king.

The dogs knew what’s up, would walk to the kitchen, and stand by the counter. Cockatoo would hop up and drop them a treat, say “good boy”, and hop back on.

Funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

I am diabetic and one night I fell on my carpet from weakness and disorientation. My beloved dog, who now rests in Heaven, brought my emergency kit from my bathroom counter so I could take my medication.

Just writing this post brought tears to my eyes.

I will always remember you Bumper.

My cat yawned, so I stuck a finger in his mouth. He sort of stared at my curiously as he shut his mouth, but didn’t bite down hard. A few minutes later, he’s sitting on my chest and I yawn. He proceeds to put his whole paw in my mouth.

When was I was young my family moved a long distance with two pets, a cat and a dog. My mom said that cats can try to run off to find home after a move so we had a cat collar with a long leash to hold her while we were unloading the trailers. I heard my Australian Shepherd bark twice on the back porch. Abby NEVER barked unless something was serious. I ran back there and my cat had run around a chair many times and then jumped off the chair with not enough room on leash to be on ground and was hanging there choking. When I rounded the corner Abby was trying to chew through the leash. Best dog ever. Both cat and dog lived long happy lives.

I witnessed this with my uncle’s dog. My uncle was lying on the couch and she was lying on his feet and legs. He let out a huge fart which was aimed directly at her face. She lifted her head and glared at him and he started laughing. She got up and walked away in disgust. A few minutes later she came back, jumped up on his chest, stuck her butt in his face and farted on him and walked away. I laughed so hard I cried and gave her so many treats.

First Christmas we had our cat she saw us handing out presents and opening them and abruptly ran off. About twenty minutes later she comes back with a dead bird and dropped it in the present pile. It’s uh definitely the thought that counts?

I had the best dog ever. One night I was fast asleep and he was gently “biting” my hand just enough to wake me up. Once I woke up he started tugging on it as if to say, follow me. It was so weird. SO I follow him and he leads me to the side door or my house, sits facing the door and barks ever so silently. I then realize someone is outside picking the lock. I called 911. It was a drunk guy, no idea what his intentions were once he got in, but my dog for some reason managed to get him arrested. He probably would have been scared away had my dog just barked, but for some reason the old boy wanted to alert me quietly.

When I was an infant, I was in my crib next to my parents bed. I somehow got twisted up and started suffocating in my blanket. This cat jumped on my mom’s face until she woke up, then jumped into my crib. Had it not been for her, I would have died.

My golden retriever leaves a shoe on the bed, without fail, for my wife or I to find if we are both gone at the same time. My theory is that she did it once, and we came home, so now she does it every time we leave to ensure that we come back. Like a doggy superstition.

After doing this for years, my wife had to leave the state for a week. My first day back from work, there was a shoe on the bed. Normal. After my second day back (wife is still gone), there were three shoes on the bed. After my third day returning from work alone, every shoe and boot in the house was laid out on the bed and couches, and all of my wife’s dirty socks were in a bowl.

It may not be the smartest thing she’s ever done, but it really made me think about how she thinks.

When I was a kid, we had two dogs: a Pyrenean Shepherd, and a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever was a goofy idiot, but the Shepherd was smart.

One day, the Retriever gets loose (we had to tie him up in the yard because he kept chasing things and running away), and the Shepherd runs after him. We never even realized what had happened until we saw the Shepherd coming back with the Retriever, holding the would-be runaway’s leash in his mouth, and leading him back to the house.

Must have been a weird sight for the neighbors.

If all of the spots on the couch were taken, my dog would scratch the door to go out and when someone gets up he would take their spot.

My cat (about 4 months old at the time) hadn’t come back for at least 2 days and I looked for her everywhere. I was getting worried since she never really left for more then a couple of hours. I guess my Labrador sensed how worried I was and realized it was because of the cat. So he decided to run out the door, while I wasn’t playing attention. (He also knows how to open doors.) I didn’t realize till later and I thought I had lost both of them. When around 8pm I heard meowing coming from outside. When I looked outside I saw my lab holding my kitten by the head.

My chickens held a funeral.

In our flock of maybe ten bantams, there was one elderly, respected hen. Even the brash rooster, who would spend most of his time chasing other chickens away from ‘his’ feed, meekly made space for Grey Girl when she slowly made her way over to the chicken feed. She was mother and grandmother to many of them, and you could tell how much they esteemed her.

One morning, I open the chicken coop as usual, but not a chook was to be seen. Normally they’d be all running out to find the night’s bounty of bugs, but not this morning. I walk inside the pen to see what’s up.

There is a circle of chickens. An actual circle, with Grey Girl’s body right in the middle. All the chooks are making this weird wailing sound, which I had never heard before. I am in no doubt they were mourning the passing of their elder mother.

What’s more, the body was lying outside the shed where she would have been roosting. There is a good chance that she was actually pulled out of the claustrophobic, poo-filled shed and placed in the open space by the chickens, so they could pay their respects.

After about half an hour the chooks all wandered off and I buried the body. And I never saw that behaviour again.

We had a dog that liked to roam the neighborhood too much so we installed one of those wireless fences that give a shock from a collar when you cross it. The law requires it to beep and give a warning before the shock to train the dog to stop, which is good. But she figured out that if she got near it then it would start beeping. So she went to where the beeping started and laid down. Then just lay there until the beeping stopped and she knew the battery was drained and too weak to shock her so she would just walk across.

Not current pet but a dog I had as a teenager.

Dog jumps up on the couch

“No, you’re not allowed on the couch, go lie in your bed”

Dog leaves the room. A moment later he returns with his bed and throws it on the couch. Gets back up on the couch in his bed and stares at me.

“… Fair enough…”

My neighbor is a zoo-keeper and he loves working with the chimpanzees and the otters.

Story about the chimp: he was closing up this one male chimps sleeping cage for the night, and then realised he’d lost his keychain. He saw the chimp holding them, and asked to get them back. Chimp refused. He then said “here, I will give you a banana for the keys!” Chimp then proceeded to unhook ONE key from the key chain and hand it back to him. 18 bananas later, and the keys were returned. This chimp is quite famous in Scandinavia – he was rejected from his mom as a newborn and was raised with the zoo-keepers family until he was re-introduced to the flock around a year later. There’s books and TV-series (from the 70s) about him.

I had a German shepherd when I was little that would run around our backyard and frantically (but very gently) remove any toads he found from the yard when he saw us getting ready to mow the lawn. He was the sweetest guy.

My old pit bull just knew when I was suicidal and came for cuddles. Just would sit there whilst I cried into her fur and patiently wait it out then lick me and stay longer.

My dog is super sneaky. He’s not allowed on the furniture, and never ever tries to get up on the couch or bed unless we invite him. One day I was taking a shower and had forgotten a body wash I had just purchased, so I left the shower running and ran out to my room to grab it really fast. I found him on the couch happily rolling around on his back. As soon as he realized I was there he froze for a moment, jumped off the couch and ran to his bed. That’s when I realized the little jerk waits for me to get in the shower to get on the furniture and knows to listen for me to turn the shower off so he knows when to stop!

I snuck downstairs and watched my small dog delicately push the chairs and a couple cardboard boxes around into an specific orientation, then wildly parkour across the objects in order to get to my dinner sitting on the table. He also carefully moved the fork out of the way using his claws so that it wouldn’t make any noise. I notified him of my presence right before he started eating and he just froze and then looked really guilty. In addition, when I have a panic attack, my dog will sometimes bring me his favorite stuffed animal because I assume he thinks it will comfort me like it comforts him.

One of my cats learned how to turn the internet off. I mean, he realized everbody goes crazy when he goes behind the TV stand and messes up with the wires.

So when we’re not paying enough attention to him (usually if we’re on our phones or the computer), he just unplugs the router. I don’t think he knows how much power he has.

Every morning for breakfast I always eat fruit and that weekend there was a farmers market selling fruit for cheap so I bought a TON. I couldn’t fit them in the fridge so I left a few bags on the side in the dining room (reachable distance)

I shit you not, I woke up and was surprised to see an apple next to me. Over the next few days, my dog would get up in the morning, go in the bag, and get a fruit to put next to me on the bed. He proceeded to do this for the next two weeks until we ran out.

My dog Bailey (Lab/Husky) and her BFF Tess (Boxer) were in our backyard playing around. Tess, being a total idiot as usual, decided to go exploring in the back (all forest, hills, creeks and such) and takes off. Not wanting to lose both dogs, my daughters called Bailey to stay.

They tried calling Tess for 10 minutes before they found me to come help. I came and tried the same for a few minutes. Once I realized that there were no sights or sounds of Tess, I turned to Bailey, and said, “Bailz, where’s Tess?”

We played this game with Bailey regularly. She would find anyone in our family if you asked her to. So I sent her off into the forest looking for Tess. No hesitation on Bailey’s part.

Another 10 minutes go by. Sun is going down. Forest is quiet. We start calling for Bailey to return. Sure as shit, not 2 minutes later, they both come back. It was from some distance too as we could hear them crashing through the bush a ways off.

Bailey knew she done good. Acted like she just cured cancer. Many cookies were had.

I had a cat that learned how to open the fridge, and then my dog started begging my cat for food. And then the cat started getting into the fridge just to feed the dog.

I patiently await the day where my pets decide to overthrow me and have me fixed. I’m not fighting it, that’ll only make it worse in the long run.

While I was out, my dog pulled a piece of paper out of the trash and pooped on it so that he wouldn’t poop on the floor.

I had a cat, a good friend, a long long time ago whom I still miss. He was a big tabby with awesome tan/orange stripes. I would climb up to the roof sometimes to avoid my housemates and relax and stare at the moon. One night I climbed up there, and he was up there. He saw me and seemed to get very happily excited to see me. He ran to one edge of the roof, looked down, then looked at me. Then, he ran to another edge, looked down, looked at me. He did that at every edge. I figured out what he was doing. At the last one, I said, “ok. Thank you for showing me. Don’t worry. I won’t go too far and fall off.” He looked very satisfied, walked to me, and laid on my chest, and we watched the moon together.

One of my cats back when I was a kid, Thomas, got a urinary tract infection somehow. We would’ve never known because he’s both an indoor and outdoor cat and usually went outside to relieve himself.

One day he jumped up into the bathroom sink, pushed the plunger down to stop the water leaving the basin, and pissed in it. Afterward he stood over it crying until someone came and saw the bloody urine in the bowl.

He found a way to directly tell us “Yo, something’s wrong with me.”

He could also open doors on his own.

My gentle giant of a newfoundland did that growl once.

We were on a road trip and I had to pee. Accidently picked a gas station in a bad part of town but I had to go. Left the dog in the car and while I went in i got asked for money to which I responded I don’t have any on me. Had the following conversation on the way out.

Him: “I’ll walk you to your car so you can find your money”

Me: “no”

Him (while following me): “it’s no big deal I can wait for you to find it”

I’m freaking out now trying to figure out of I can get into the car and lock the door fast enough. Come back to see my newfoundland – the gentlest dog ever baring get big ass teeth and doing the once in a lifetime growl through a cracked window.

The guy SPRINTED away. Then We drove through a McDonald’s and got her a whole cheese burger (which she never gets)

I had a pair of gold fish that grew to be quite large. Their names were nemo and toad. When nemo was dying toad did everything in his power to “revive” him. Including swimming alongside him and under him to boost him up and giving up larger potions of the food. After the nemo passed away toad got super depressed. He wouldn’t eat at all and spent all day moving the little pebbles at the bottom of the fish tank from one side of the tank to the next. he died not long after

My chocolate lab woke me up one night barking in my face. I was really mad because he does that. When i got up to see what was up I soon realized I was having a massive Heart Attack. He saved my life. Thanks Luke.

We lived in an apartment complex that didn’t allow pets. Unfortunately the people who frequently drove into the complex and dumped unwanted cats & dogs weren’t aware that residents weren’t allowed to have pets. One evening, there was an orange tabby crying piteously in the yard behind our building just 25 yards from one of the busiest roads in our city. The neighbor across the breezeway said that she saw him tossed out of a car that morning. I was worried that he would get creamed on the road and spent two hours sitting in the grass next to him with a bowl of ground hamburger to earn his trust. I had no idea what I was going to do with him after that, I just didn’t want to see him starve or get run over.

After a few weeks we worked out a living arrangement – he stayed in the apartment during the day with food and water and a bed and then went outside at night. We had to keep his presence hidden so that the apartment management wouldn’t fine us or evict us. We couldn’t keep cat food bowls outside or a litter box inside (the staff collected garbage, so they’d know if I was dumping used cat litter). Due to his effervescent personality we started calling him Jonsey, the Shithead (Aliens reference). We were working on a solution house him permanently, but it was going to be a few more months before we could either get him into a rescue or move to a new residence that allowed pets.

One night, during a round of terrible thunderstorms and heavy rain Jonsey was less than thrilled to head outside and we weren’t hot on the idea either. So he curled up in the corner of the couch and we headed to bed. The following morning I woke up and stumbled for the coffee maker. My husband asked me if the reason I was so tired was because I was up late cleaning up after the cat. I had no idea what he was talking about. He told me to look in the kitchen sink. There was a dishrag lying in the bottom of the sink and when I moved it there was cat poop in the drain. It took me few seconds to figure out what I was looking at and what it meant. To my husband it looked as if I had cleaned up cat poop and, in disgust had just thrown it in the sink to deal with it in the morning. What had actually happened was that Jonsey needed to use the bathroom and, instead of using any of my many houseplants, the corner, or just about anywhere else, he had chosen the absolute best alternative to a litter box available to him – the empty kitchen sink. He’d done his business and courteously covered it over with the dishtowel I always kept draped over the neck of the faucet. He earned a forever home with us and we moved to a house a few months after that.

We had pot belly pigs when we were little because my brother and I were allergic to cats and dogs. Smart little f*ckers. My brother and I would always yell “MOM! MOM!”, so one day my mom left for a couple days and the pigs got upset. One of them started squealing and then opening it’s mouth so it sounded like “MMMMMAMAMA”. Then the other one started doing it. So we had two pigs in the house screaming for mama. It was creepy as f*ck.

On the few days I get to sleep in, if my cat decides his breakfast is too late he has learned to wake me up for it.

early on, I apparently learned to sleep through his MRROOOOOOOWs by the bedside; as time went by, I learned to roll over & ignore him when he’d bat at me with his paws…

…so he’s learned to get me up the one way I can’t sleep through: he’ll take a single claw & drag it very gently over my eyelid. it doesn’t hurt at all, but I’m hard-pressed to think of a more peculiar feeling.

When I was in high school, my cat P.C. (short for personal computer which was my Dad’s idea) woke my Dad up in the middle of the night by knocking herself into my parents’ door and meowing very loudly. My Dad began to follow her downstairs not knowing why and she stopped at the air vent in the kitchen. My Dad immediately turned off the air. Turns out something caught on fire in the vent and the smoke detector hadn’t picked it up yet.

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I’ve had dogs all my life but the 3 I have now are all very special to me. They’re seriously smart. They’ll turn on the outside hose when they get thirsty on a hot day(even though they have ice water inside) but they’ll also get the bathroom door open when you’re taking a shower and turn the shower off when they think you’ve been showering for too long.

They’re very smart but very scary. When my SO and I were walking around after we got done setting the tent up at a family camping trip(my SOs family) I went to go take a leak. So I took two of our German Shepherds to the bathroom with me and left her with one. She can handle them all of course but with deer and squirrels and stuff you just don’t know. I trust them to listen to her but why take a chance.

So while I’m in the bathroom and my two dogs are hanging around outside I hear a distant but very angry and aggressive bark. Now, my dogs are very well trained and don’t bark for no reason unless told to. I hear one of my two let out a “wtf?” bark and another distant bark from my SOs dog.

At that point my dogs start going crazy so I’m like what the f**k might as well let them go. I let them go and they just barrel over to where I left my SO, I’m talking full run and barking. Of course I pick my pace up and I get a look at the situation. It’s three guys cornering in on my lady. Only thing holding them off was the dog she had.

I have to tell my SO to let her dog go right as my two get to her. All the dogs pounced at what seemed like exactly the same time and they all end up on the ground.

But after that my dogs just take a seat right on top of the three guys. They don’t even try to fight the dogs off at that point. Ten seconds later after I called the dogs off I figure out why. All three dogs have bitten almost through one of each guys arms.

It’s smart not to f**k with someone with a dog, or worse multiple dogs.

I had taken my german shepherd out for a hike in an abandoned conservation area. It was a hot day, there was a creek with a deep pool, so I decided to strip nekkid and go for a swim. The dog and I splashed around a bit, then we got out, I pulled on my clothes, and carried on down the trail.

My dog, however, wouldn’t follow. She was starting at something in the grass. I called, she looked up at me and then looked back at the grass. I went over to see what was so enthralling… turns out my car keys had fallen out of my pocket and she wasn’t budging until I picked them up.

I have pet rats. One of them broke a tooth, and the infection spread to her brain (the teeth go all the way up above the brain). I had her on antibiotics, but she was a bit “tilted” to one side. When they were out on a table, I noticed her falling over near the edge of the table, and was afraid that she would fall.

However, before I have time to react and move, another of my rats walk up to her, takes a firm but careful grip around the base of her tail and pulls her away from the edge of the table.

Now, I know one should be careful in placing human thoughts in animal heads, but usually, a rat “biting” another rat’s tail is a surefire way to start a fight, and I can’t see any other reason to do it except that she saw ahead, noticed the potential problem, figured out what to do to solve it and implemented that solution.

My cat has figured out how to turn on my heated mattress pad. Its just a little foot pedal near the headboard. With out fail I come home everyday to it cranked and her cuddled down near the foot of my bed, where the coils double.

In the winter I sometimes wake up hot as hell and realize she’s turned it on while I was sleeping.

I was at the park with my dog and started talking to another dog owner. He got bored and decided to leave without me. As soon as I realised I ran out of the park to find him walking down the street toward my house, the road was pretty busy so I nearly shat myself and started sprinting down the street after him.

I saw him look both ways, wait for the traffic to stop for him and then cross the road.

By the time I caught up to him he had already crossed and was just having a casual stroll home.

About two weeks ago, just before we had to have him put down, I went to pick him up from the vets. They said he had improved overnight, the moment they said he could go home he jumped off my lap and went straight to the door. He kept looking back at me as if to tell me to hurry up.

He was a brilliant dog.

I work at a pet store, and a big part of the job is listening to people talk about how great their average-ass pets are. But man, every now and then you get a good one. We have a family that owns a couple of African Grey parrots. When the kids were teenagers, the parents went out of town for the weekend, specifying there should be no parties whatsoever in their absence. Naturally the kids throw the party, and manage to clean up brilliantly. They almost got away with it until at dinner the night the parents returned, the Greys started making this whole new range of sounds including the sound of a beer pop tab opening, and the sounds of ping pong balls hitting plastic cups and the floor. Busted by birds.

She saved my life. I was sleeping, and started going into a diabetic seizure. My SO at the time was a very heavy sleeper (her dog). She jumped on the bed, whining and barking until my SO woke up. Ambulance was called, life was saved.

There was a fire in my building once. My old kitty yelled at me until I followed her into a low corner of the bedroom. The air there was much clearer and I hid there with her until I was rescued by the firemen. She saved me that day. She’s gone now, but she was my best friend for 18 years.

When I was a stupid kid, I was eating warhead hard candies. Instead of eating them like a normal person, I was squeezing one end and shooting it into my mouth. Well, I squeezed too hard and it got lodged in my throat. I made it to the back door (my dad was in the garage) before I collapsed. My cat ran out, and started swatting at my dad and got him to follow her. That was scary.

I have two horses, Red, and Mickey.

They are yarded next to each other, and there is enough of a gap in the fence that a clever horse may work out that they can just manage to pinch the others hay through it.

Red took it a step further and realised that if he could steal Mickey’s hay, Mickey could steal his…

So he waits until Mickey is distracted by his bucket feed, and then Red takes his own hay from his own feeder and deposits it across the yard, where it’s safe.

He then goes back and takes Mickey’s hay and deposits it where it is safe.

Then Red eats his hard feed and two lots of hay.

We had to move all the hay feeders.

My youngest son, a two time cancer winner, was recovering from a particularly ugly round of methotrexate. He was home recovering and my Pomeranian, who was always at my heel,wouldn’t leave his side. I was curious but not concerned and continued my morning chores. I was in the next room when Ping came in like Lassie and barked until I came to see. He returns to my sons side and began to shiver. My son was playing xbox, and seemed ok. I turned to go back to my chores and Ping let out a howl I didn’t think he was capable of and as I turned my son was seizing, full grand mal seizures that I recall clearly 11 years later. I was just in time to keep him from hitting head first on the hardwood floors. We just put my little Ping down last month. He was my best friend for 17 years, and my sons hero forever. We miss you Ping.

I had a genius ferret. All of my ferrets were smarter than you might expect, but Mia was ridiculous. I have tons of stories, but here’s my favourite.

My roommates and I used to hangout in a TV room that had door way with no door (entranceway?). Since I wanted the ferret to be able to run around while we were there, I put a baby gate across the exit. Took her ten seconds to climb it, of course.

I then wrapped the gate in carpet runner, so she couldn’t scale it. She tried for a long time, but could find anything to get a grip on. Three of us are all kind of marveling at her commitment.

She stops trying to climb, and just freezes for a minute, her eyes panning around the room like she’s concocting a scheme, and then she starts eyeballing a shoebox on the other side of the room. Eyes up on the gate, back to the box, back to the gate. My buddy says “No f*cking way. You think she’s figured it out?â€

She walks over to the box and starts sliding it across the floor, stopping every foot or so and checking her progress. Finally gets to the gate, hops on the box and jumps up and grabs the top of the gate. Whoop she’s up and over and dancing down the hallway.

Dogs are awesome. I had a gentle giant growing up and once a guy drove up the road at double the legal speed in a narrow, twisted medieval street near a school, almost hitting both my dad and my dog.

My dad loudly yelled “asshole” and gestured at the car, and the guy, proving he was even more an asshole than previously thought, stopped his car, got out and did a few steps to threaten my dad.

My dog gently sat down, managed to make his fur double in size, and did the kind of growl you only hear dogs do once or twice in their lifetime, the kind that says “You better not make one more step”. My dad did not even have the time to think of an answer before the guy did a full U turn and got back in his car to drive away.

My dad had a hard time telling us the story because he was laughing so much at the face the guy made.

Also, seeing it’s about being intelligent, my old dog understood how to open silently the doors where the treats where and close them back, but never did it when someone was around. We had to film him.

He also figured out once that every now and then, some old ladies would gather up in the house next door which was owned by the municipality to host club events. He knew when they would come somehow and would climb the garden wall to get some biscuits from them. I miss him.

I once tried to put my roommate’s dog in his kennel. Sweet dog–he obeyed me and went inside without a fuss, then looked at me like, “okay, now what?” I closed the door, put the latch down, and told him to stay in there like a good boy. He gave me this look that said “are you serious with this?” Without missing a beat, he calmly lifted the latch with his nose and walked out of the kennel.

I have a three month old pup who got dirt in her eye one day. Th eye kept tearing up and she held it partilly shut for a few hours. During that time I felt really bad for her and handed out a lot of treats. Since then, when I am eating, she begs by winking that eye with a tiny whimper. Her wink is nonstop. If she’s called by someone else in the home she looks at them with perfect eyes. I get the “broken eye” Once she gets the goods -fully working eyes.

When I was raising my chicks and they were about adolescent age, my one hen died suddenly. I got home and her brother was having a fit in the coop, then when I pulled her out to go bury her he just sat and watched completely silent. I picked him up to return him to the coop, and he just closed his eyes, settled down, and sat completely silent in my arms for about an hour. It broke my heart. I never knew chickens could mourn until then.

We had one remarkably intelligent pet rat. There was a number of intelligent things he did, but here are some highlights.

His much larger older brother was keeping him away from one of the food dishes on the first level. He chews a hole in the bottom of a box on the top level and moves it down to the first level. He manages to move the box, with him inside it, and the hole he chewed perfectly aligned with the food dish. He camped his box right over the bowl, with him in it, blocking his brother out, where he could eat in peace.

He was the master of manipulating his environment. Inside their cage was a number of levels and boxes. He would push them around, nest them, or chew them to get wherever he wanted to go. It was like watching someone playing a video game where they had to arrange boxes to get where they wanted. It was all the more impressive given he had limited mobility from his rear legs, and more than compensated in this way.

We would put puzzles filled with treats in their cage to give them something to solve. Without fail he was always the one to solve them, no matter how many layers we would put on them.

He had a few tumors removed over the course of his life. Without fail he always seemed to remove his stitches a day or so before he was scheduled to go back in for removal. Provided he could reach them. Everyone else would either leave them be or immediately try to remove them.

No matter where you would put food blocks, he would carefully pick them up and place them in designated food bowls.

He was extremely vocal in the way some dogs, like huskies are. Unlike others he would modulate his squeaks to try and communicate.

RIP Felix, you brilliant little rat.

I had a yabbie in my freshwater tank that is a genius. I one day watched him gather some food pellets into his cave, wait for the fish today eat the rest then a few minutes later place them in front of the cave entrance, then attacked and ate a fish that came to eat the pellets.

He stockpiled his meal to later bait an even better meal. That f*cker is in his own tank now.

The smartest thing I’ve seen my cat do is referee when my girlfriend’s kitten was trying to fight her older cat. We were initially terrified because my cat was found as a stray and you can tell that he’s had his ass kicked in a few fights back in the day.

When we adopted him, when he’d hear the other cats start playfighting, he’d rush out to be there too. He weighed about twice as much as the next biggest cat, and we knew almost nothing about his personality at the time, so of course this filled us with terror. Well, we followed him out into the next room, and he had just managed to perch himself on the coffee table, above the action, and was just watching.

When the older cat switched from playing to getting genuinely exasperated with the kitten, he tagged in so the other cat could get away. For months he would do this, so we figured he may have helped raise kittens when he was stray.

Anyway, his personality is great, and he’s a sweet dumb boy and the best lap cat you could ask for. The vet at the shelter thought he would want to be an outside cat, but once we got him home it was very plain that that was not the case. I could leave the door open all day and he wouldn’t go anywhere; this cat has no interest in being outdoors again.

I have a parrot. We have a black cat called shadow and he comes when we say his name. One day I hear Oliver (my parrot) saying “Shadow! Shadow!” while he’s in the kitchen on the stool. I look outside and shadow is at the door begging to be let in.

Also once I accidentally woke Oliver up and he started grumbling, “sh*t sh*t sh*t!”

My roommate’s dog. We were taking care of another dog for a few days and he was staying at our house. They got along well enough, but visitor dog kept trying to play and resident dog never wanted to. One evening, resident dog walks in to the living room to find visitor dog is in her favorite spot on the couch. She immediately barks, drops into a play bow, and starts jumping around to play with him. Visitor dog gets super excited that she finally wants to play and abandons the couch. Resident dog drops the playacting and reclaims her rightful throne.

Carries his bone to you and pushes it into your hand. Then he starts chewing the other end of it while you hold it. When you try to pull on the bone to maybe start a tug-of-war game with him, he stops chewing and gives you a look like, “What the heck? Just hold it. You’re the one with opposable thumbs.”

Not my current dog, but the family dog we got when I was a teenager. I came home and went to my room and she’s just barking for no reason. Not furiously, but an unfamiliar cadence and enough to be annoying. I finally come out of my room to see what she wants. I look out the window and see my car trunk lid hadn’t latched all the way and was wide open. Not that I had much of value in there, but as a broke college student in a neighborhood where anything not nailed down gets stolen, I thought it was pretty awesome of her. She got extra treats and pets that day.

Husband used to have a large cat who, if his breakfast was “late”, would live the toilet seat up a few inches with his head then let go . BAM-bam-bam-m-m-m

I put a pot of water on the stove and while waiting for it to boil I went and got involved in something else and forgot about it.

After a while my siamese kitten came in and started meowing at me, in a very insistent way. I figured she just wanted attention so I gave her a few pets and just kept doing my thing.

She kept meowing and started poking her claws into my ankles, not drawing blood but definitely enough to get my attention. She ran to the door and looked back meowing, so I followed her. She led me to the kitchen where the pot was starting to smoke because all of the water had boiled off.

You know she got her favorite wet food and so many snuggles.

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My former boss had a parking lot clean-up and lawn maintenance business. He would send his two collies out around the parking lots collecting trash, and they’d bring it back to his truck. They loved it. It was amazing to see.

About the otters, one summer an otter escaped from their enclosure, and was seen around the zoo/amusement park, swimming around people who had hired rowing and pedal boats. He’d go up to guests to beg for snacks, etc. All summer the guards tried to catch him, but he learned to recognise their uniforms, and stayed away. They finally succeeded in catching him when the guards dressed in civvies.

My first cat ended up going through renal failure which caused him to urinate a lot. I would clean his box every day but sometimes I would get home from work late and he didn’t like that. He started using the toilet all on his own. I caught him one afternoon while cleaning the house. I was sweeping the hallway and as I passed the bathroom I heard the sound of peeing in the toilet. As I continued sweeping past the door it dawned on me that my husband was at work, leaving me home alone. So now I’m slightly disturbed and I slowly back up, broom in hand, and peer around the door jam into the bathroom. My cat is sitting on the toilet urinating and giving me a look that screams he wants some privacy. I was in so much shock I just gave him his privacy and went back to sweeping. After that day he refused to use his box anymore and in the final months of his life I actually had to go out and by him a trainer potty so he wouldn’t have to jump up on the toilet anymore. The lady at Walmart thought I was playing a prank on her when I told her what I needed the potty for.

My cat figured out how to fill up my bathtub. He learned how to close the drain and would turn the water handle and would just sit there and watch the tub slowly fill up. It took me weeks to figure out what was going on.

I had a very smart and wonderful golden retriever, Emma.

She would sometimes try trading one of her gross rawhide chews for something we were holding if she wanted it–she once dropped her toy in my dad’s lap, nudged it towards him, and started “speaking” (not like a bark, more like dog complaining) while nodding at the apple he held.

She would also distract our book smart but not street smart other golden if she wanted the toy the other dog had. She’d take a random toy, go up to one of us and make a big deal, jumping and barking and playing with us with the toy. Then when book smart dog dropped her toy and ran to see what all the fuss was about, Emma would immediately leave us and grab book smart’s toy and run off with it.

One time she found a hurt dove and brought it to us in her mouth, holding it so gently.

When my son was a baby, he was teething really bad. Constantly running a fever and cranky. we gave him lots of the tylenol suspension drops. One morning I had the baby wedged in the recliner while I was looking for something. Of course he was crying. Our dog, looked at the baby, ran upstairs, came back down a few seconds later with the tylenol, dropped it in the recliner where it rolled to the baby. Then the dog turned to me and barked until I picked it up.

My cat knows that old grocery bags are what I scoop his crap into, so when I slip up and forget to clean his litter box he drags one in there to let me know.

My step dad was a serious alcoholic (still is) however before he met myself and my mother he has this beautiful Staffie.

Multiple people confirmed that if he was in the bar and the dog was worried. It could get out of the house. Onto a bus and to the main strip. It would then go in every bar one by one looking for him. If he didn’t find him, he would go back to one specific bar and sit on a chair and wait for him.

Early in the morning, I open our sliding glass door to let my dog out. She stands there staring at me as I tell her to go to the bathroom and motion outside. After a 10 second staring contest I attempt to lead her outside by first going out myself. I then proceed to walk into the sliding screen door I failed to open and knock it off the rails. That was when I knew my dog was smarter than me.

Our cat hears the mailman delivering the mail through the letter slot in the door. He races to it, grabs each piece in his teeth, and then drags them – one by one – to the chair where I’m sitting.

If a piece of mai

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/20-of-the-most-unbelievably-smart-things-pets-have-done-that-surprised-their-owners/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/174271433407

[allofbeercom]

20+ Of The Most Unbelievably Smart Things Pets Have Done That Surprised Their Owners

Our pets are so precious to us, they are far more than just animals that we look after and have around for company. They become our best friends, and part of the family. Although it’s very easy to bond emotionally with our pets, sharing a cuddle or playing games together will do that, being on the same wavelength intellectually is less common.

Sure, you can train your dog, hamster or rat to be obedient, (cats too, but that may prove to be a little more difficult!) but what we have here are true geniuses, unique personalities that go far beyond what we would imagine from an animal!

This list, compiled by Bored Panda, is about those times when animals have surprised us with their intelligence. When people were able to understand just what their pets were thinking, and communicate with them on a higher level! Scroll down to check them out for yourself, and feel free to share your own articulate animals stories in the comments below!

This is a completely true story. Weird, but true, and shows a really impressive level of intelligence in my cat. It happened when I was a teenager.

I’m sitting on the couch, and my cat walks into the room and starts meowing loudly, but not coming to me. So I stand up and go toward him, and he starts walking away, so I follow. He leads me, meowing the whole way and looking back to make sure I’m following, to the bathroom. Weird, right? Just wait.

So we’re in the bathroom, and he hops up on the toilet and, get this, he PEES IN IT. I was floored. One, he peed in the toilet. Like a person. He’d never done that before. It’s impressive that he knew what a toilet was for. But two, he brought me there to show me. Why? This is where the real intelligence comes into it.

Well, he stops peeing and turns to look into the toilet and then looks at me. So I look in the toilet. It’s full of blood. He had a terrible kidney infection (as the vet later confirmed), and this is how he told me.

Think of all the things he had to understand to do this!! He had to know he was sick and in which part of his body the infection was. He had to know that the bathroom was the place where I deal with the part of my body that matches up with his sick part. He had to know what a toilet was for and how to use it. And he knew that if I understood the problem, I’d be able to fix it.

Seriously, that cat was incredible.

We used to have a cockatoo, as well as some cats and dogs.

We were teaching the dogs some tricks, and the cockatoo was just doing his bird thing. Every day, the same routine: get some treats, call the dogs, sit, stay, lay down, roll over, get a treat, etc.

One night we were watching TV and hear the cockatoo call the dog by name. “Sit. Stay. Lay down. Roll over. Good Boy”. We heard something hit the floor, and then he called out the next dog’s name.

Walked into the kitchen to find the cockatoo in the spot we always stand, giving orders to the dogs (who were obeying!), and then pulling treats out of the cup and dropping them on the floor. This went on for some time.

Dogs now liked the cockatoo, and would let him ride on their backs. Cockatoo would call them, tell them to lay down, would climb on, and ride around like a king.

The dogs knew what’s up, would walk to the kitchen, and stand by the counter. Cockatoo would hop up and drop them a treat, say “good boy”, and hop back on.

Funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

I am diabetic and one night I fell on my carpet from weakness and disorientation. My beloved dog, who now rests in Heaven, brought my emergency kit from my bathroom counter so I could take my medication.

Just writing this post brought tears to my eyes.

I will always remember you Bumper.

My cat yawned, so I stuck a finger in his mouth. He sort of stared at my curiously as he shut his mouth, but didn’t bite down hard. A few minutes later, he’s sitting on my chest and I yawn. He proceeds to put his whole paw in my mouth.

When was I was young my family moved a long distance with two pets, a cat and a dog. My mom said that cats can try to run off to find home after a move so we had a cat collar with a long leash to hold her while we were unloading the trailers. I heard my Australian Shepherd bark twice on the back porch. Abby NEVER barked unless something was serious. I ran back there and my cat had run around a chair many times and then jumped off the chair with not enough room on leash to be on ground and was hanging there choking. When I rounded the corner Abby was trying to chew through the leash. Best dog ever. Both cat and dog lived long happy lives.

I witnessed this with my uncle’s dog. My uncle was lying on the couch and she was lying on his feet and legs. He let out a huge fart which was aimed directly at her face. She lifted her head and glared at him and he started laughing. She got up and walked away in disgust. A few minutes later she came back, jumped up on his chest, stuck her butt in his face and farted on him and walked away. I laughed so hard I cried and gave her so many treats.

First Christmas we had our cat she saw us handing out presents and opening them and abruptly ran off. About twenty minutes later she comes back with a dead bird and dropped it in the present pile. It’s uh definitely the thought that counts?

I had the best dog ever. One night I was fast asleep and he was gently “biting” my hand just enough to wake me up. Once I woke up he started tugging on it as if to say, follow me. It was so weird. SO I follow him and he leads me to the side door or my house, sits facing the door and barks ever so silently. I then realize someone is outside picking the lock. I called 911. It was a drunk guy, no idea what his intentions were once he got in, but my dog for some reason managed to get him arrested. He probably would have been scared away had my dog just barked, but for some reason the old boy wanted to alert me quietly.

When I was an infant, I was in my crib next to my parents bed. I somehow got twisted up and started suffocating in my blanket. This cat jumped on my mom’s face until she woke up, then jumped into my crib. Had it not been for her, I would have died.

My golden retriever leaves a shoe on the bed, without fail, for my wife or I to find if we are both gone at the same time. My theory is that she did it once, and we came home, so now she does it every time we leave to ensure that we come back. Like a doggy superstition.

After doing this for years, my wife had to leave the state for a week. My first day back from work, there was a shoe on the bed. Normal. After my second day back (wife is still gone), there were three shoes on the bed. After my third day returning from work alone, every shoe and boot in the house was laid out on the bed and couches, and all of my wife’s dirty socks were in a bowl.

It may not be the smartest thing she’s ever done, but it really made me think about how she thinks.

When I was a kid, we had two dogs: a Pyrenean Shepherd, and a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever was a goofy idiot, but the Shepherd was smart.

One day, the Retriever gets loose (we had to tie him up in the yard because he kept chasing things and running away), and the Shepherd runs after him. We never even realized what had happened until we saw the Shepherd coming back with the Retriever, holding the would-be runaway’s leash in his mouth, and leading him back to the house.

Must have been a weird sight for the neighbors.

If all of the spots on the couch were taken, my dog would scratch the door to go out and when someone gets up he would take their spot.

My cat (about 4 months old at the time) hadn’t come back for at least 2 days and I looked for her everywhere. I was getting worried since she never really left for more then a couple of hours. I guess my Labrador sensed how worried I was and realized it was because of the cat. So he decided to run out the door, while I wasn’t playing attention. (He also knows how to open doors.) I didn’t realize till later and I thought I had lost both of them. When around 8pm I heard meowing coming from outside. When I looked outside I saw my lab holding my kitten by the head.

My chickens held a funeral.

In our flock of maybe ten bantams, there was one elderly, respected hen. Even the brash rooster, who would spend most of his time chasing other chickens away from ‘his’ feed, meekly made space for Grey Girl when she slowly made her way over to the chicken feed. She was mother and grandmother to many of them, and you could tell how much they esteemed her.

One morning, I open the chicken coop as usual, but not a chook was to be seen. Normally they’d be all running out to find the night’s bounty of bugs, but not this morning. I walk inside the pen to see what’s up.

There is a circle of chickens. An actual circle, with Grey Girl’s body right in the middle. All the chooks are making this weird wailing sound, which I had never heard before. I am in no doubt they were mourning the passing of their elder mother.

What’s more, the body was lying outside the shed where she would have been roosting. There is a good chance that she was actually pulled out of the claustrophobic, poo-filled shed and placed in the open space by the chickens, so they could pay their respects.

After about half an hour the chooks all wandered off and I buried the body. And I never saw that behaviour again.

We had a dog that liked to roam the neighborhood too much so we installed one of those wireless fences that give a shock from a collar when you cross it. The law requires it to beep and give a warning before the shock to train the dog to stop, which is good. But she figured out that if she got near it then it would start beeping. So she went to where the beeping started and laid down. Then just lay there until the beeping stopped and she knew the battery was drained and too weak to shock her so she would just walk across.

Not current pet but a dog I had as a teenager.

Dog jumps up on the couch

“No, you’re not allowed on the couch, go lie in your bed”

Dog leaves the room. A moment later he returns with his bed and throws it on the couch. Gets back up on the couch in his bed and stares at me.

“… Fair enough…”

My neighbor is a zoo-keeper and he loves working with the chimpanzees and the otters.

Story about the chimp: he was closing up this one male chimps sleeping cage for the night, and then realised he’d lost his keychain. He saw the chimp holding them, and asked to get them back. Chimp refused. He then said “here, I will give you a banana for the keys!” Chimp then proceeded to unhook ONE key from the key chain and hand it back to him. 18 bananas later, and the keys were returned. This chimp is quite famous in Scandinavia – he was rejected from his mom as a newborn and was raised with the zoo-keepers family until he was re-introduced to the flock around a year later. There’s books and TV-series (from the 70s) about him.

I had a German shepherd when I was little that would run around our backyard and frantically (but very gently) remove any toads he found from the yard when he saw us getting ready to mow the lawn. He was the sweetest guy.

My old pit bull just knew when I was suicidal and came for cuddles. Just would sit there whilst I cried into her fur and patiently wait it out then lick me and stay longer.

My dog is super sneaky. He’s not allowed on the furniture, and never ever tries to get up on the couch or bed unless we invite him. One day I was taking a shower and had forgotten a body wash I had just purchased, so I left the shower running and ran out to my room to grab it really fast. I found him on the couch happily rolling around on his back. As soon as he realized I was there he froze for a moment, jumped off the couch and ran to his bed. That’s when I realized the little jerk waits for me to get in the shower to get on the furniture and knows to listen for me to turn the shower off so he knows when to stop!

I snuck downstairs and watched my small dog delicately push the chairs and a couple cardboard boxes around into an specific orientation, then wildly parkour across the objects in order to get to my dinner sitting on the table. He also carefully moved the fork out of the way using his claws so that it wouldn’t make any noise. I notified him of my presence right before he started eating and he just froze and then looked really guilty. In addition, when I have a panic attack, my dog will sometimes bring me his favorite stuffed animal because I assume he thinks it will comfort me like it comforts him.

One of my cats learned how to turn the internet off. I mean, he realized everbody goes crazy when he goes behind the TV stand and messes up with the wires.

So when we’re not paying enough attention to him (usually if we’re on our phones or the computer), he just unplugs the router. I don’t think he knows how much power he has.

Every morning for breakfast I always eat fruit and that weekend there was a farmers market selling fruit for cheap so I bought a TON. I couldn’t fit them in the fridge so I left a few bags on the side in the dining room (reachable distance)

I shit you not, I woke up and was surprised to see an apple next to me. Over the next few days, my dog would get up in the morning, go in the bag, and get a fruit to put next to me on the bed. He proceeded to do this for the next two weeks until we ran out.

My dog Bailey (Lab/Husky) and her BFF Tess (Boxer) were in our backyard playing around. Tess, being a total idiot as usual, decided to go exploring in the back (all forest, hills, creeks and such) and takes off. Not wanting to lose both dogs, my daughters called Bailey to stay.

They tried calling Tess for 10 minutes before they found me to come help. I came and tried the same for a few minutes. Once I realized that there were no sights or sounds of Tess, I turned to Bailey, and said, “Bailz, where’s Tess?”

We played this game with Bailey regularly. She would find anyone in our family if you asked her to. So I sent her off into the forest looking for Tess. No hesitation on Bailey’s part.

Another 10 minutes go by. Sun is going down. Forest is quiet. We start calling for Bailey to return. Sure as shit, not 2 minutes later, they both come back. It was from some distance too as we could hear them crashing through the bush a ways off.

Bailey knew she done good. Acted like she just cured cancer. Many cookies were had.

I had a cat that learned how to open the fridge, and then my dog started begging my cat for food. And then the cat started getting into the fridge just to feed the dog.

I patiently await the day where my pets decide to overthrow me and have me fixed. I’m not fighting it, that’ll only make it worse in the long run.

While I was out, my dog pulled a piece of paper out of the trash and pooped on it so that he wouldn’t poop on the floor.

I had a cat, a good friend, a long long time ago whom I still miss. He was a big tabby with awesome tan/orange stripes. I would climb up to the roof sometimes to avoid my housemates and relax and stare at the moon. One night I climbed up there, and he was up there. He saw me and seemed to get very happily excited to see me. He ran to one edge of the roof, looked down, then looked at me. Then, he ran to another edge, looked down, looked at me. He did that at every edge. I figured out what he was doing. At the last one, I said, “ok. Thank you for showing me. Don’t worry. I won’t go too far and fall off.” He looked very satisfied, walked to me, and laid on my chest, and we watched the moon together.

One of my cats back when I was a kid, Thomas, got a urinary tract infection somehow. We would’ve never known because he’s both an indoor and outdoor cat and usually went outside to relieve himself.

One day he jumped up into the bathroom sink, pushed the plunger down to stop the water leaving the basin, and pissed in it. Afterward he stood over it crying until someone came and saw the bloody urine in the bowl.

He found a way to directly tell us “Yo, something’s wrong with me.”

He could also open doors on his own.

My gentle giant of a newfoundland did that growl once.

We were on a road trip and I had to pee. Accidently picked a gas station in a bad part of town but I had to go. Left the dog in the car and while I went in i got asked for money to which I responded I don’t have any on me. Had the following conversation on the way out.

Him: “I’ll walk you to your car so you can find your money”

Me: “no”

Him (while following me): “it’s no big deal I can wait for you to find it”

I’m freaking out now trying to figure out of I can get into the car and lock the door fast enough. Come back to see my newfoundland – the gentlest dog ever baring get big ass teeth and doing the once in a lifetime growl through a cracked window.

The guy SPRINTED away. Then We drove through a McDonald’s and got her a whole cheese burger (which she never gets)

I had a pair of gold fish that grew to be quite large. Their names were nemo and toad. When nemo was dying toad did everything in his power to “revive” him. Including swimming alongside him and under him to boost him up and giving up larger potions of the food. After the nemo passed away toad got super depressed. He wouldn’t eat at all and spent all day moving the little pebbles at the bottom of the fish tank from one side of the tank to the next. he died not long after

My chocolate lab woke me up one night barking in my face. I was really mad because he does that. When i got up to see what was up I soon realized I was having a massive Heart Attack. He saved my life. Thanks Luke.

We lived in an apartment complex that didn’t allow pets. Unfortunately the people who frequently drove into the complex and dumped unwanted cats & dogs weren’t aware that residents weren’t allowed to have pets. One evening, there was an orange tabby crying piteously in the yard behind our building just 25 yards from one of the busiest roads in our city. The neighbor across the breezeway said that she saw him tossed out of a car that morning. I was worried that he would get creamed on the road and spent two hours sitting in the grass next to him with a bowl of ground hamburger to earn his trust. I had no idea what I was going to do with him after that, I just didn’t want to see him starve or get run over.

After a few weeks we worked out a living arrangement – he stayed in the apartment during the day with food and water and a bed and then went outside at night. We had to keep his presence hidden so that the apartment management wouldn’t fine us or evict us. We couldn’t keep cat food bowls outside or a litter box inside (the staff collected garbage, so they’d know if I was dumping used cat litter). Due to his effervescent personality we started calling him Jonsey, the Shithead (Aliens reference). We were working on a solution house him permanently, but it was going to be a few more months before we could either get him into a rescue or move to a new residence that allowed pets.

One night, during a round of terrible thunderstorms and heavy rain Jonsey was less than thrilled to head outside and we weren’t hot on the idea either. So he curled up in the corner of the couch and we headed to bed. The following morning I woke up and stumbled for the coffee maker. My husband asked me if the reason I was so tired was because I was up late cleaning up after the cat. I had no idea what he was talking about. He told me to look in the kitchen sink. There was a dishrag lying in the bottom of the sink and when I moved it there was cat poop in the drain. It took me few seconds to figure out what I was looking at and what it meant. To my husband it looked as if I had cleaned up cat poop and, in disgust had just thrown it in the sink to deal with it in the morning. What had actually happened was that Jonsey needed to use the bathroom and, instead of using any of my many houseplants, the corner, or just about anywhere else, he had chosen the absolute best alternative to a litter box available to him – the empty kitchen sink. He’d done his business and courteously covered it over with the dishtowel I always kept draped over the neck of the faucet. He earned a forever home with us and we moved to a house a few months after that.

We had pot belly pigs when we were little because my brother and I were allergic to cats and dogs. Smart little f*ckers. My brother and I would always yell “MOM! MOM!”, so one day my mom left for a couple days and the pigs got upset. One of them started squealing and then opening it’s mouth so it sounded like “MMMMMAMAMA”. Then the other one started doing it. So we had two pigs in the house screaming for mama. It was creepy as f*ck.

On the few days I get to sleep in, if my cat decides his breakfast is too late he has learned to wake me up for it.

early on, I apparently learned to sleep through his MRROOOOOOOWs by the bedside; as time went by, I learned to roll over & ignore him when he’d bat at me with his paws…

…so he’s learned to get me up the one way I can’t sleep through: he’ll take a single claw & drag it very gently over my eyelid. it doesn’t hurt at all, but I’m hard-pressed to think of a more peculiar feeling.

When I was in high school, my cat P.C. (short for personal computer which was my Dad’s idea) woke my Dad up in the middle of the night by knocking herself into my parents’ door and meowing very loudly. My Dad began to follow her downstairs not knowing why and she stopped at the air vent in the kitchen. My Dad immediately turned off the air. Turns out something caught on fire in the vent and the smoke detector hadn’t picked it up yet.

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I’ve had dogs all my life but the 3 I have now are all very special to me. They’re seriously smart. They’ll turn on the outside hose when they get thirsty on a hot day(even though they have ice water inside) but they’ll also get the bathroom door open when you’re taking a shower and turn the shower off when they think you’ve been showering for too long.

They’re very smart but very scary. When my SO and I were walking around after we got done setting the tent up at a family camping trip(my SOs family) I went to go take a leak. So I took two of our German Shepherds to the bathroom with me and left her with one. She can handle them all of course but with deer and squirrels and stuff you just don’t know. I trust them to listen to her but why take a chance.

So while I’m in the bathroom and my two dogs are hanging around outside I hear a distant but very angry and aggressive bark. Now, my dogs are very well trained and don’t bark for no reason unless told to. I hear one of my two let out a “wtf?” bark and another distant bark from my SOs dog.

At that point my dogs start going crazy so I’m like what the f**k might as well let them go. I let them go and they just barrel over to where I left my SO, I’m talking full run and barking. Of course I pick my pace up and I get a look at the situation. It’s three guys cornering in on my lady. Only thing holding them off was the dog she had.

I have to tell my SO to let her dog go right as my two get to her. All the dogs pounced at what seemed like exactly the same time and they all end up on the ground.

But after that my dogs just take a seat right on top of the three guys. They don’t even try to fight the dogs off at that point. Ten seconds later after I called the dogs off I figure out why. All three dogs have bitten almost through one of each guys arms.

It’s smart not to f**k with someone with a dog, or worse multiple dogs.

I had taken my german shepherd out for a hike in an abandoned conservation area. It was a hot day, there was a creek with a deep pool, so I decided to strip nekkid and go for a swim. The dog and I splashed around a bit, then we got out, I pulled on my clothes, and carried on down the trail.

My dog, however, wouldn’t follow. She was starting at something in the grass. I called, she looked up at me and then looked back at the grass. I went over to see what was so enthralling… turns out my car keys had fallen out of my pocket and she wasn’t budging until I picked them up.

I have pet rats. One of them broke a tooth, and the infection spread to her brain (the teeth go all the way up above the brain). I had her on antibiotics, but she was a bit “tilted” to one side. When they were out on a table, I noticed her falling over near the edge of the table, and was afraid that she would fall.

However, before I have time to react and move, another of my rats walk up to her, takes a firm but careful grip around the base of her tail and pulls her away from the edge of the table.

Now, I know one should be careful in placing human thoughts in animal heads, but usually, a rat “biting” another rat’s tail is a surefire way to start a fight, and I can’t see any other reason to do it except that she saw ahead, noticed the potential problem, figured out what to do to solve it and implemented that solution.

My cat has figured out how to turn on my heated mattress pad. Its just a little foot pedal near the headboard. With out fail I come home everyday to it cranked and her cuddled down near the foot of my bed, where the coils double.

In the winter I sometimes wake up hot as hell and realize she’s turned it on while I was sleeping.

I was at the park with my dog and started talking to another dog owner. He got bored and decided to leave without me. As soon as I realised I ran out of the park to find him walking down the street toward my house, the road was pretty busy so I nearly shat myself and started sprinting down the street after him.

I saw him look both ways, wait for the traffic to stop for him and then cross the road.

By the time I caught up to him he had already crossed and was just having a casual stroll home.

About two weeks ago, just before we had to have him put down, I went to pick him up from the vets. They said he had improved overnight, the moment they said he could go home he jumped off my lap and went straight to the door. He kept looking back at me as if to tell me to hurry up.

He was a brilliant dog.

I work at a pet store, and a big part of the job is listening to people talk about how great their average-ass pets are. But man, every now and then you get a good one. We have a family that owns a couple of African Grey parrots. When the kids were teenagers, the parents went out of town for the weekend, specifying there should be no parties whatsoever in their absence. Naturally the kids throw the party, and manage to clean up brilliantly. They almost got away with it until at dinner the night the parents returned, the Greys started making this whole new range of sounds including the sound of a beer pop tab opening, and the sounds of ping pong balls hitting plastic cups and the floor. Busted by birds.

She saved my life. I was sleeping, and started going into a diabetic seizure. My SO at the time was a very heavy sleeper (her dog). She jumped on the bed, whining and barking until my SO woke up. Ambulance was called, life was saved.

There was a fire in my building once. My old kitty yelled at me until I followed her into a low corner of the bedroom. The air there was much clearer and I hid there with her until I was rescued by the firemen. She saved me that day. She’s gone now, but she was my best friend for 18 years.

When I was a stupid kid, I was eating warhead hard candies. Instead of eating them like a normal person, I was squeezing one end and shooting it into my mouth. Well, I squeezed too hard and it got lodged in my throat. I made it to the back door (my dad was in the garage) before I collapsed. My cat ran out, and started swatting at my dad and got him to follow her. That was scary.

I have two horses, Red, and Mickey.

They are yarded next to each other, and there is enough of a gap in the fence that a clever horse may work out that they can just manage to pinch the others hay through it.

Red took it a step further and realised that if he could steal Mickey’s hay, Mickey could steal his…

So he waits until Mickey is distracted by his bucket feed, and then Red takes his own hay from his own feeder and deposits it across the yard, where it’s safe.

He then goes back and takes Mickey’s hay and deposits it where it is safe.

Then Red eats his hard feed and two lots of hay.

We had to move all the hay feeders.

My youngest son, a two time cancer winner, was recovering from a particularly ugly round of methotrexate. He was home recovering and my Pomeranian, who was always at my heel,wouldn’t leave his side. I was curious but not concerned and continued my morning chores. I was in the next room when Ping came in like Lassie and barked until I came to see. He returns to my sons side and began to shiver. My son was playing xbox, and seemed ok. I turned to go back to my chores and Ping let out a howl I didn’t think he was capable of and as I turned my son was seizing, full grand mal seizures that I recall clearly 11 years later. I was just in time to keep him from hitting head first on the hardwood floors. We just put my little Ping down last month. He was my best friend for 17 years, and my sons hero forever. We miss you Ping.

I had a genius ferret. All of my ferrets were smarter than you might expect, but Mia was ridiculous. I have tons of stories, but here’s my favourite.

My roommates and I used to hangout in a TV room that had door way with no door (entranceway?). Since I wanted the ferret to be able to run around while we were there, I put a baby gate across the exit. Took her ten seconds to climb it, of course.

I then wrapped the gate in carpet runner, so she couldn’t scale it. She tried for a long time, but could find anything to get a grip on. Three of us are all kind of marveling at her commitment.

She stops trying to climb, and just freezes for a minute, her eyes panning around the room like she’s concocting a scheme, and then she starts eyeballing a shoebox on the other side of the room. Eyes up on the gate, back to the box, back to the gate. My buddy says “No f*cking way. You think she’s figured it out?â€

She walks over to the box and starts sliding it across the floor, stopping every foot or so and checking her progress. Finally gets to the gate, hops on the box and jumps up and grabs the top of the gate. Whoop she’s up and over and dancing down the hallway.

Dogs are awesome. I had a gentle giant growing up and once a guy drove up the road at double the legal speed in a narrow, twisted medieval street near a school, almost hitting both my dad and my dog.

My dad loudly yelled “asshole” and gestured at the car, and the guy, proving he was even more an asshole than previously thought, stopped his car, got out and did a few steps to threaten my dad.

My dog gently sat down, managed to make his fur double in size, and did the kind of growl you only hear dogs do once or twice in their lifetime, the kind that says “You better not make one more step”. My dad did not even have the time to think of an answer before the guy did a full U turn and got back in his car to drive away.

My dad had a hard time telling us the story because he was laughing so much at the face the guy made.

Also, seeing it’s about being intelligent, my old dog understood how to open silently the doors where the treats where and close them back, but never did it when someone was around. We had to film him.

He also figured out once that every now and then, some old ladies would gather up in the house next door which was owned by the municipality to host club events. He knew when they would come somehow and would climb the garden wall to get some biscuits from them. I miss him.

I once tried to put my roommate’s dog in his kennel. Sweet dog–he obeyed me and went inside without a fuss, then looked at me like, “okay, now what?” I closed the door, put the latch down, and told him to stay in there like a good boy. He gave me this look that said “are you serious with this?” Without missing a beat, he calmly lifted the latch with his nose and walked out of the kennel.

I have a three month old pup who got dirt in her eye one day. Th eye kept tearing up and she held it partilly shut for a few hours. During that time I felt really bad for her and handed out a lot of treats. Since then, when I am eating, she begs by winking that eye with a tiny whimper. Her wink is nonstop. If she’s called by someone else in the home she looks at them with perfect eyes. I get the “broken eye” Once she gets the goods -fully working eyes.

When I was raising my chicks and they were about adolescent age, my one hen died suddenly. I got home and her brother was having a fit in the coop, then when I pulled her out to go bury her he just sat and watched completely silent. I picked him up to return him to the coop, and he just closed his eyes, settled down, and sat completely silent in my arms for about an hour. It broke my heart. I never knew chickens could mourn until then.

We had one remarkably intelligent pet rat. There was a number of intelligent things he did, but here are some highlights.

His much larger older brother was keeping him away from one of the food dishes on the first level. He chews a hole in the bottom of a box on the top level and moves it down to the first level. He manages to move the box, with him inside it, and the hole he chewed perfectly aligned with the food dish. He camped his box right over the bowl, with him in it, blocking his brother out, where he could eat in peace.

He was the master of manipulating his environment. Inside their cage was a number of levels and boxes. He would push them around, nest them, or chew them to get wherever he wanted to go. It was like watching someone playing a video game where they had to arrange boxes to get where they wanted. It was all the more impressive given he had limited mobility from his rear legs, and more than compensated in this way.

We would put puzzles filled with treats in their cage to give them something to solve. Without fail he was always the one to solve them, no matter how many layers we would put on them.

He had a few tumors removed over the course of his life. Without fail he always seemed to remove his stitches a day or so before he was scheduled to go back in for removal. Provided he could reach them. Everyone else would either leave them be or immediately try to remove them.

No matter where you would put food blocks, he would carefully pick them up and place them in designated food bowls.

He was extremely vocal in the way some dogs, like huskies are. Unlike others he would modulate his squeaks to try and communicate.

RIP Felix, you brilliant little rat.

I had a yabbie in my freshwater tank that is a genius. I one day watched him gather some food pellets into his cave, wait for the fish today eat the rest then a few minutes later place them in front of the cave entrance, then attacked and ate a fish that came to eat the pellets.

He stockpiled his meal to later bait an even better meal. That f*cker is in his own tank now.

The smartest thing I’ve seen my cat do is referee when my girlfriend’s kitten was trying to fight her older cat. We were initially terrified because my cat was found as a stray and you can tell that he’s had his ass kicked in a few fights back in the day.

When we adopted him, when he’d hear the other cats start playfighting, he’d rush out to be there too. He weighed about twice as much as the next biggest cat, and we knew almost nothing about his personality at the time, so of course this filled us with terror. Well, we followed him out into the next room, and he had just managed to perch himself on the coffee table, above the action, and was just watching.

When the older cat switched from playing to getting genuinely exasperated with the kitten, he tagged in so the other cat could get away. For months he would do this, so we figured he may have helped raise kittens when he was stray.

Anyway, his personality is great, and he’s a sweet dumb boy and the best lap cat you could ask for. The vet at the shelter thought he would want to be an outside cat, but once we got him home it was very plain that that was not the case. I could leave the door open all day and he wouldn’t go anywhere; this cat has no interest in being outdoors again.

I have a parrot. We have a black cat called shadow and he comes when we say his name. One day I hear Oliver (my parrot) saying “Shadow! Shadow!” while he’s in the kitchen on the stool. I look outside and shadow is at the door begging to be let in.

Also once I accidentally woke Oliver up and he started grumbling, “sh*t sh*t sh*t!”

My roommate’s dog. We were taking care of another dog for a few days and he was staying at our house. They got along well enough, but visitor dog kept trying to play and resident dog never wanted to. One evening, resident dog walks in to the living room to find visitor dog is in her favorite spot on the couch. She immediately barks, drops into a play bow, and starts jumping around to play with him. Visitor dog gets super excited that she finally wants to play and abandons the couch. Resident dog drops the playacting and reclaims her rightful throne.

Carries his bone to you and pushes it into your hand. Then he starts chewing the other end of it while you hold it. When you try to pull on the bone to maybe start a tug-of-war game with him, he stops chewing and gives you a look like, “What the heck? Just hold it. You’re the one with opposable thumbs.”

Not my current dog, but the family dog we got when I was a teenager. I came home and went to my room and she’s just barking for no reason. Not furiously, but an unfamiliar cadence and enough to be annoying. I finally come out of my room to see what she wants. I look out the window and see my car trunk lid hadn’t latched all the way and was wide open. Not that I had much of value in there, but as a broke college student in a neighborhood where anything not nailed down gets stolen, I thought it was pretty awesome of her. She got extra treats and pets that day.

Husband used to have a large cat who, if his breakfast was “late”, would live the toilet seat up a few inches with his head then let go . BAM-bam-bam-m-m-m

I put a pot of water on the stove and while waiting for it to boil I went and got involved in something else and forgot about it.

After a while my siamese kitten came in and started meowing at me, in a very insistent way. I figured she just wanted attention so I gave her a few pets and just kept doing my thing.

She kept meowing and started poking her claws into my ankles, not drawing blood but definitely enough to get my attention. She ran to the door and looked back meowing, so I followed her. She led me to the kitchen where the pot was starting to smoke because all of the water had boiled off.

You know she got her favorite wet food and so many snuggles.

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My former boss had a parking lot clean-up and lawn maintenance business. He would send his two collies out around the parking lots collecting trash, and they’d bring it back to his truck. They loved it. It was amazing to see.

About the otters, one summer an otter escaped from their enclosure, and was seen around the zoo/amusement park, swimming around people who had hired rowing and pedal boats. He’d go up to guests to beg for snacks, etc. All summer the guards tried to catch him, but he learned to recognise their uniforms, and stayed away. They finally succeeded in catching him when the guards dressed in civvies.

My first cat ended up going through renal failure which caused him to urinate a lot. I would clean his box every day but sometimes I would get home from work late and he didn’t like that. He started using the toilet all on his own. I caught him one afternoon while cleaning the house. I was sweeping the hallway and as I passed the bathroom I heard the sound of peeing in the toilet. As I continued sweeping past the door it dawned on me that my husband was at work, leaving me home alone. So now I’m slightly disturbed and I slowly back up, broom in hand, and peer around the door jam into the bathroom. My cat is sitting on the toilet urinating and giving me a look that screams he wants some privacy. I was in so much shock I just gave him his privacy and went back to sweeping. After that day he refused to use his box anymore and in the final months of his life I actually had to go out and by him a trainer potty so he wouldn’t have to jump up on the toilet anymore. The lady at Walmart thought I was playing a prank on her when I told her what I needed the potty for.

My cat figured out how to fill up my bathtub. He learned how to close the drain and would turn the water handle and would just sit there and watch the tub slowly fill up. It took me weeks to figure out what was going on.

I had a very smart and wonderful golden retriever, Emma.

She would sometimes try trading one of her gross rawhide chews for something we were holding if she wanted it–she once dropped her toy in my dad’s lap, nudged it towards him, and started “speaking” (not like a bark, more like dog complaining) while nodding at the apple he held.

She would also distract our book smart but not street smart other golden if she wanted the toy the other dog had. She’d take a random toy, go up to one of us and make a big deal, jumping and barking and playing with us with the toy. Then when book smart dog dropped her toy and ran to see what all the fuss was about, Emma would immediately leave us and grab book smart’s toy and run off with it.

One time she found a hurt dove and brought it to us in her mouth, holding it so gently.

When my son was a baby, he was teething really bad. Constantly running a fever and cranky. we gave him lots of the tylenol suspension drops. One morning I had the baby wedged in the recliner while I was looking for something. Of course he was crying. Our dog, looked at the baby, ran upstairs, came back down a few seconds later with the tylenol, dropped it in the recliner where it rolled to the baby. Then the dog turned to me and barked until I picked it up.

My cat knows that old grocery bags are what I scoop his crap into, so when I slip up and forget to clean his litter box he drags one in there to let me know.

My step dad was a serious alcoholic (still is) however before he met myself and my mother he has this beautiful Staffie.

Multiple people confirmed that if he was in the bar and the dog was worried. It could get out of the house. Onto a bus and to the main strip. It would then go in every bar one by one looking for him. If he didn’t find him, he would go back to one specific bar and sit on a chair and wait for him.

Early in the morning, I open our sliding glass door to let my dog out. She stands there staring at me as I tell her to go to the bathroom and motion outside. After a 10 second staring contest I attempt to lead her outside by first going out myself. I then proceed to walk into the sliding screen door I failed to open and knock it off the rails. That was when I knew my dog was smarter than me.

Our cat hears the mailman delivering the mail through the letter slot in the door. He races to it, grabs each piece in his teeth, and then drags them – one by one – to the chair where I’m sitting.

If a piece of mai

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/20-of-the-most-unbelievably-smart-things-pets-have-done-that-surprised-their-owners/