#urgent message to a friend in pain

[alliwanttodoiscollectpoetry]

Urgent message to a friend in pain ~ Joseph Fasano

[boricuacherry-blog]

[finelinevogue]

lost n found

summary - you are lost in italy the night before your wedding

pairing: fiancé!harry x reader

word count: ~2k

You were definitely lost.

Drunk and lost.

To: harry - im so sor:(y

From: harry - Baby, you’re fine❤️ Drop me your location and I’ll come find you. Please don’t move xx

To: harry - okaY.i love you xox

So currently you were sat on a stone wall, somewhere on a random side street in a small Italian village, waiting for your boyfriend to come and pick you up.

Harry had gone out with a few of his closest guy friends for drinks, for one last night as an unmarried man.

You and your girls had gone out for drinks too and you had mentioned to the boys that you would catch them up later.

At some point during the evening, though, you and the girls had all gone to the beach and you had gone to the toilet. It had been a trek to find one, only when you tried to find your way back you took so many drunken wrong turns that you couldn’t tell your legs from rights now.

Reading a map was useless, but sending Harry messages wasn’t.

You originally hadn’t wanted to send him any messages, not wanting to ruin his last night a “free” man but at some point you had become a little too lost to care.

Swinging your legs as you sat on the wall, you watched the birds fly overhead amongst the clear blue sky. You detailed all the cracks in the old buildings and counted twelve windows on one wall alone.

Your brain was fuzzy and your eyes kept on wanting to close from tiredness. You would be blaming a lot of your girl friends tomorrow for the continuous passing of shots your way.

Your phone rang in your hand.

“Yeah?” You answered, not even checking the caller ID.

“Baby? Love? Can y’hear me?” Harry asked.

“Yeah.”

“You’re not where y’said you’d be.” Harry sounded stressed.

“N-no I am. I sent you my location a-and I haven’t moved.”

You stood up and could feel yourself starting to panic. If Harry didn’t know where you were then there was no way of you knowing. Harry wasn’t ever a big enough drinker to get really drunk, unlike you.

You only ever got drunk when you felt you were in a safe environment, like tonight had been surrounded by all your closest girl friends. Or always with Harry.

Now that you didn’t have anyone and you were still drunk, you were getting anxiety of being alone and intoxicated.

Cue to shaky hands and tears.

“Are y’sure baby?”

“Y-yes. Fuck me. You’re not going to find me. Fuck. I don’t – shit – I.. I’m…”

“Hey, hey. Y/N, baby. Woah, slow down for me, okay? I am coming for you, okay? I just.. It was my mistake and I just need to relocate myself. You’re okay.”

Your phone was shaky in your hands and you started twisting your body around, as if expecting some random creepy guy to come around the corner and take advantage of you.

The twisting didn’t help your head, though, and was making you feel increasingly dizzy and sick.

“Y/N?” Harry asked urgently and you wondered whether you’d missed something he said.

“I-I’m scared.” You honestly said, backing yourself against a wall and trying to let the cool stone calm you down.

Your tears will no doubt have ruined your minimal makeup by now, not that that was a main priority of yours right now.

“Honey, you’re okay. I’ll be there soon, I promise.”

Harry sounded like he was running.

His voice sounded a little breathy and you could hear the fast movement of wind through the speakerphone.

“Y/N, love, turn on your data.” Harry said.

“I ran out.” You banged your head back against the wall, not even thinking about the pain that just caused.

You whimpered as you sank down onto the floor, knees tucked close to your chest and arm wrapped around your legs. Your phone was still to your ear, with Harry’s voice being the only sane thing in this moment.

“Okay, okay.” Harry muttered to himself rather than you. More running sounded from Harry’s end of the phone. “Baby, y’still there?”

“Mm.”

Your mind travelled to many worst case scenarios and due to how bad they were your panic only increased.

This was supposed to be your last nights as an unmarried couple and you couldn’t help but feel like you’d ruined that. He must’ve been having such a good night.

You’d seen a couple of photos on his private Instagram story and other people’s Instagram stories. Your fiancé looked divine. He just looked so perfect that it was difficult to believe that he had chosen you and you got to call him yours.

It did make you nearly cry that he was thinking of you, via Instagram, though.

“You feeling okay, baby?” Harry asked.

“Don’t know. I’m so sorry, Harry.”

“It’s okay. I’m not angry or upset. Just want to make sure you’re okay, my love.”

“Okay.”

“So you have to be brave for me, okay?”

“Yes, okay.”

You got stuck for a moment, trying to think of possible ways you could calm yourself down and distract yourself. Luckily, Harry was already one step ahead.

“Hey, baby?” He grabbed your attention.

“Yeah.”

“We’re getting married tomorrow.”

You couldn’t help but let the smile take over your face. You weren’t scared at all for tomorrow. You had no nervous jitters. All you felt was love in your heart for your husband to be.

“We are.”

“And you’re going to look so beautiful.”

“So are you.”

“I can’t wait to see you in your wedding dress. I bet it looks so pretty.”

You sniffled, building back your strength and overcoming your anxiety. A lot of your strength came from the love you hold for Harry.

You heard a noise from your left and looked to see a cat rustling through some litter.

Your heart deflated when you realised it wasn’t Harry. You knew he was coming though. He was on his way and he would not stop running until he found you.

It was almost like a bad scene out of a romance movie.

The night before your wedding and something terrible goes wrong. It’s a sign!

“I think it’s just perfectly me.” You said, talking about your wedding dress.

“Sounds perfect to me then.” Harry paused for a moment. “Baby, did you walk under an archway, like, uh, a stone archway covered in pink flowers?”

“I-I don’t know. I don’t remember.” You ran a stressed hand over your forehead.

“Okay. That’s okay.”

“Everyone’s going to be so mad at me.” You began getting frustrated with yourself. “Fuck.” You breathed in a sob and exhaled with a bigger breath.

“Promise you no one’s mad, baby. Gem has messaged me a thousand times asking if you’re okay. I can’t even answer ‘cause this bloody maps apps is a fucking nuisance. I swear to–”

“Harry?” You furrowed your eyebrows, looking up from your knees to check your phone. He was still on the line. “Hello?”

“Y/N!” Harry shouted your name, but not from down the phone.

You could see Harry walking over to you very quickly, clearly panting from having run street after street.

“H.” You dropped your phone and cried as you saw him faster approach you.

Definitely a moment worthy of a romcom.

Harry was probably living his Ryan Gosling dreams.

“Baby, hey. I’m here. You’re okay.” Harry sank down to the floor and scooped his arms around you, pulling you close and squeezing oh so tight.

He sank down to his bum and leaned against the wall, pulling your entirely onto his lap. Too close wasn’t an option right now.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you sat sideways on his lap. Your face was tucked under his chin and his head rested on top of yours. You cried as Harry held you tight.

You couldn’t see Harry’s facial expressions but he was breathing out sighs of relief, some tears in his own eyes from the adrenaline of trying to find you. He had been just as scared as you, but had to remain strong for you. Now he had you he could let it all out.

“You’re never going to the toilet alone again.” Harry laughed. You laughed back.

“Deal.”

“That was scary.” Harry kind of mumbled, but you heard him anyways. He kissed your head a few times and you melted at the feel.

“Harry.”

“Yeah, love?”

“My head is so dizzy.”

Harry used a hand to tilt your head up so he could see your face. He noticed your mascara ridden face first of all, but beneath that you were all beauty.

“Tequila is only our friend for two rounds, remember?” He laughed at you. He was able to tell from your eyes that you weren’t exceedingly drunk, but definitely tipsy.

“I did not remember.”

He nuzzled his nose against yours as he shook his head with a grin. “You’re such a handful, you.”

“M’sorry.” You pouted.

“Never said I didn’t love you as a handful.”

“Do you? Love me a handful?” You used a hand to stroke over his cheek that had gotten so scruffy with the stubble he was trying to grow.

“‘Course. Love you every way and anyway. Love you so much. Love you until my body literally decomposes my wedding ring off my finger, and then some more.”

“That was dark, even for a 2AM drunk thought.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” Harry chuckled, noticing that smile on your face becoming more and more permanent.

“But I’ll love you for the same.” You promised.

Harry kissed you then, not wasting another moment of this evening away from you. Well, morning now. His lips were soft against yours and you smiled into the kiss, happy that he was here with you even if it was under really weird circumstances.

“Let’s go, trouble. We’ll go back to the hotel and I’ll kiss you all night.”

“Don’t you want to spend the rest of your night with the boys? You know, last night as a free man?” Even though you were suggesting this, all you actually wanted to do was kiss, kiss and kiss him.

“Free man?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows with disgust, “What are you talking about?”

“You know? People say the last night before they get married is their last chance to be free?”

“Why would I need to be free when I’ve got you? I’m choosing you, like I always have. Never needed to be free.”

You smiled warmly at him. “I’m shackling you to me for life.”

“Too right you are, baby. Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Now, take me home, trouble.” You giggled.

“Oh. So I’m the trouble now?”

liked by gemmastyles and 682,928 others

yourinstagram tomorrow i get your last name forever <3 p.s. i would like to state that harry bought himself that tshirt :)

view all 78,977 comments

harryfan1 oh to be y/n l/n

jeffezoff Where did you two go?

harryfan2 moustacherry fans rrIISEEEEE

harryfan3 wish my bf supported me with tshirts like that

jamescorden Tequila anyone?

harrystyles I am planning on wearing that tshirt tomorrow.

yourinstagram @/harrystyles the tshirt but nothing else please

gemmastyles @/jamescorden They aren’t coming back for tequila….

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for lying to my friend I needed a kidney transplant because they didn't read my message carefully?

The title is insane, but there's context here.

I (18F) have a friend (17X, let's call them Cloud) whose reading comprehension is piss poor, to be honest. I wouldn't mind this, but they consistently ask questions about my messages that are answered in the message (for example, I've said "I have Calculus from 2-3 today" and they've responded with "What time do you get out of class?"). This pisses me off, so in an attempt to curb this behavior, when I have something important to say, I've started bolding and italicizing important information in my messages so it's easier for them to see.

I've been having a few pains I won't go into detail about here, and went to urgent care because my mom said it was probably a UTI. It turns out I had a pretty mild kidney infection, and I just needed some antibiotics and would be fine. I missed a few texts from Cloud when I went to urgent care, so I sent this message (the asterisks are to bold and italicize the text):

"Sorry just got back from urgent care i guess i have a kidney infection? ***I'm okay*** though ***i just need to take antibiotics for a week***"

And they replied with "ARE YOUR KIDNEYS OKAY???? DID THEY GIVE YOU MEDICINE OR SOMETHING?"

As you can see in the message above, I already answered both of those questions. I was in pain and bit irked, so I told them "No, they said I'm going to need a transplant," fully expecting they'd realize how ridiculous that was. They did not, and freaked out about it, and I felt pretty bad, so I told them I didn't actually need a transplant and was just messing with them. They got really mad and said it was mean to lie to them about something so important, and haven't talked to me in a few days. I thought that I wasn't really lying, seeing as I told them the truth and they ignored it, but perhaps I should've acted differently.

So, Tumblr, am I the asshole for telling my friend I needed a kidney transplant, when I actually just had a mild kidney infection?

What are these acronyms?

[yellowcabdriver]

desperate

pairing: yuuji itadori x f!reader

genre: fluff

a/n: i quit my old soul-crushing job and i’m desperately trying to finish off all wips before i start my new job svdndjsj please enjoy 🙏🏻 live laugh lovesick yuuji 🫡💕 very shamelessly got inspired by this post

nobara said yuuji shouldn’t call you.

“you don’t want her to think that you’re desperate, right?”

yeah, maybe.

but here’s a thing that a considerate friend that is nobara didn’t take into account.

yuuji is crazy about you and he is indeed very desperate for you and your attention. he is filled with joy and excitement whenever he hears your voice – it’s almost pavlovian, very embarrassing. or at least could be, if yuuji cared enough. his pride is a small price to pay to have a wonder that is you in his life.

but yuuji has to admit, maybe nobara is right. at the end of the day you two are not dating (yet, as yuuji very much hopes). you two are not even very close friends (yet, again, as yuuji hopes).

yuuji’s finger lingers over a call button under your name embezzled with a variety of heart emojis.

“at least text her before calling, you know, it’s kind of a new etiquette these days, not to call someone unannounced,” yuuji remembers nobara’s chastising. it makes yuuji hesitate. of course, he doesn’t want to seem like an ignorant bumpkin who isn’t aware of social cues. what if you’re busy? which you probably are because you are so smart and cool. and you are definitely a great texter (even if you weren’t, yuuji wouldn’t know any better because he is that much in love).

with a sigh, yuuji slides over to messages and starts typing rather pathetically “hiiii how are you???” while fighting the urge to add like a gazillion emojis to express himself better. nobara is really getting into his head, yuuji sighs. this is hard considering he is not exactly an overthinker (that would require having more than one thought and his only singular thought right now is you). a text is better than nothing, sure, but yuuji really really really needs to hear your voice. so he rushes back to his contacts and gathers every ounce of willpower to press on your name.

after almost painful eleven seconds you pick up. yuuji’s breathing hitches a little when he hears your sleepy “hello?”

he wants to throw himself from a window.

he forgot it’s almost 3 am.

“hi, um, hey. sorry, you’re asleep.”

what an absolute mess.

“well, not anymore,” you softly laugh. yuuji, though embarrassed, is so happy to hear your laughter.

“sorry.”

“it’s okay, yuuji. did something happen?”

well, kinda. obviously, yuuji’s not going to tell you that he’s just so down bad for you that he called you up in the middle of the night for no reason.

“no, nothing, i- i’m sorry, it’s nothing urgent, i better call you tomorrow.”

“are you sure? i mean, it’s…” he hears you scramble. “three in the morning. it has got to be an emergency.”

it is, just not a conventional one. yuuji violently shakes his head and then remembers that you can’t see him (why is he such a fool when it comes to you?)

“no, no, i’m sorry, i screwed up. i forgot that not everyone stays up late like me. go to sleep. sorry.”

“stop apologising, it’s all fine. okay, i’ll believe that there’s no emergency. but you better call me tomorrow to confirm that you’re okay.”

yuuji’s cheeks are burning.

“yeah, of course. sorry again.”

you laughed.

“good night, yuuji.”

“good night.”

yuuji’s fingers shake when he types the first message.

“sorry, i actually didn’t mean to call you.”

delivered.

yuuji’s eyes are not leaving the screen beaming brightly into his face.

read.

his palms are suddenly cold.

dot, dot, dot.

“it’s okay,” followed by a smiley emoji and a thumbs up. such a you thing to send. for a minute he contemplates going to sleep and maybe die from embarrassment in his sleep but something takes him over. before he can register it, his fingers start typing.

“fuck it”

delivered, read.

“i did mean to call”

delivered, read.

“i wanted to talk to you”

delivered, read.

“to hear your voice and your laugh”

delivered, read.

yuuji can physically feel the blood rushing away from his limbs when he sees three dancing dots.

“i want to hear your voice, too.”

yuuji’s head is spinning as he fights the urge to jump around the room while smiling at his phone like a madman. megumi and nobara for sure would be disgusted at this sight. he is so ecstatic that he almost misses the next message.

“ft?”

his long calloused fingers dance across the screen to quickly type “i’ll call you”.

he rushes to facetime.

you pick up almost instantly.

yuuji looks at your face, traces of sleep still present in your expression but he can see – and it makes his heart flutter – that you are genuinely happy to see him, too.

you both spent a few intimate moments staring at each other’s badly lit faces, glowing under the dim lights of your screens in the dark, until yuuji finally finds the courage to break the silence.

“so… did you sleep well?”

you quietly laugh and yuuji falls in love even harder though he thought it wasn’t possible. he can’t wait to tell the gang that being desperate pays off, and oh so well.

and what does nobara know anyway.

[nina-ya]

Three Times You Tried to Confess to Sanji and The One Time That You Did

A/N: I wrote a similar thing for Law here!! Pairing: Sanji x Reader CW: Mild Zou and WCI spoilers in the first section. WC: 1210

Clutching the letter tightly in your hands, you wanted to express what your heart couldn't openly confess. The words written onto the paper were your unspoken declaration, a small piece of paper holding all of the feelings you held for the cook of the Straw Hat Pirates.

You carefully reviewed each line, making sure the content truly reflected your emotions. The air was thick with a mix of anticipation, longing, and anxiety. Carrot, your new friend, offered reassurance and support, reassuring you that your feelings have been properly expressed in the letter. After moments of contemplation, seeking comfort and determination in the bunny's encouragement, you finally decided to seek out Sanji, determined to offer this expression of your unvoiced affection.

You made your way across Zou, your steps filled with a sense of urgency and purpose, searching every nook and cranny, hoping to find Sanji. But to your dismay, you discovered that he had left. The news hit you like a sudden gust of cold wind, a cruel twist that left you reeling in disbelief and despair. And to add to the heartache, you overheard the news of Sanji's impending marriage. It was a bitter blow, a cruel irony that twisted the knife in your heart.

Tears streamed down your face, your emotions raw and uncontainable. The devastating realization, leaving you in an immense amount of anguish. The letter now felt like an unbearable burden. With trembling hands, and tears clouding your vision, you crumpled the letter, feeling the weight of your shattered hopes, and tore it to pieces. The shreds of your unspoken love fluttered to the floor, scattered remnants of your heart's confessions now reduced to a pile of shreds at your feet.

-

-

-

This time, you tried to take a more direct approach. You had planned your words, rehearsed your confession, and prepared yourself to finally confess your feelings for Sanji. You found him in the kitchen, in the middle of preparing dinner for the crew. The conversation started off casually, but as you attempted to lead into your confession, your nerves began to show, evident in your fidgeting and the trembling of your voice.

"Sanji, there's something I wanted to tell you," you began, your heart racing. His interest piqued, and he looked over at you, ready to hear what you had to say. However, in a cruel twist of fate, as you stepped forward, your elbow accidentally knocked over a pot of boiling water, causing the scalding water to spill onto your arm. Pain shot through you, and all thoughts of your confession dissipated instantly, replaced by the searing sensation now engulfing your arm.

Sanji's immediate concern was for your well-being. He rushed to your side, his worry evident, as he hurriedly tended to your burn, calling out for Chopper to assist. The intense pain and his genuine concern overshadowed any romantic confessions, leaving you both preoccupied with the physical injury and his genuine care for your well-being. The moment had been abruptly replaced by the urgent need to tend to your burn, the confession buried under the weight of unexpected physical pain.

-

-

-

What better way to confess your feelings to Sanji than through a meal? The plan was set, and it was to cook a nice dinner, ending with a special dessert that held a hidden message. You wrote the phrase "I love you" in melted chocolate on the dessert. Everything was unfolding perfectly. 

The dinner had gone well, the two of you savoring every bite, yourself being filled with anticipation for the dessert. Finally, the moment arrived, and you placed the dessert in front of Sanji, the plate concealed beneath a dome. He lifted the cover, revealing the sweet treat, and while his initial reaction indicated he found it visually appealing, it was far from the reaction you had hoped for.

Sanji complimented the dessert's appearance, but his response was far from what you had expected. Your heart sank as you leaned over to inspect your chocolate message, only to discover that it had melted, losing its distinct form. What was meant to be a declaration of love had transformed into an abstract, artistic scribble that was virtually indecipherable.

Behind a beaming smile that masked your disappointment, you watched as Sanji grew more eager to taste the dessert, oblivious to the hidden message. It seemed that fate had conspired to keep your feelings hidden for yet another day.

-

-

-

You stood there in the kitchen, a delicate bouquet of tulips clasped in your hands, each petal a silent symbol of the depth of your feelings for Sanji. The vendor had assured you that this bouquet was the perfect way to declare your love, even gifting you a book filled with the language of flowers. Your plan was set: presenting these flowers to Sanji would be your confession.

The day had seemed blissful, the earlier battles resolved, the air filled with the anticipation of revealing your emotions. You were waiting in the kitchen, the tulips held tenderly, ready to make your heartfelt gesture. But fate had other plans.

A call disrupted the tranquility, a frantic Usopp on the Den Den Mushi urgently relaying an unforeseen incident on the island. In that split second, the bouquet, the flower book, and other non-essential belongings slipped from your hands and onto the kitchen counter. Without hesitation, you sprinted out of the kitchen, the impending battle calling for your attention.

The flowers lay forgotten, as you rushed to join your crewmates on the island, focused on the imminent conflict. The confession you had longed to make would have to wait for another day. After all, in that moment, surviving to tell him of your feelings took precedence over all else. 

…

After the battle, the crew wearily made their way back to the ship. Upon boarding, Sanji immediately headed to the kitchen to prepare a comforting feast for everyone, a way to refuel both their bodies and spirits. As he stepped into the kitchen, his eyes landed on the bouquet of tulips.

Intrigued, Sanji approached the flowers, admiring their beauty and inhaling their sweet fragrance. Carefully, he took the bouquet into his hands, running his fingers over the soft petals. His attention was then drawn to a small tag attached to the flowers, bearing his name. He was taken aback, wondering, These are for me?

The sight of the flower language book nearby further deepened his curiosity. He flipped through its pages until he landed on the section dedicated to tulips. As he read the page, a realization began to dawn upon him. Tulips were a declaration of love. He furrowed his brow, his mind racing to identify who could have gotten him the tulips.

Then, his gaze fell upon the scattered belongings near the tulips. He recognized them as your belongings. A sudden revelation struck him. These tulips, the very flowers that symbolized a declaration of love, were from you.

A rush of emotions overwhelmed him.. He was left almost speechless, clutching the bouquet, his heart racing with the knowledge that you reciprocated his feelings. He could barely contain his happiness. Filled with a new sense of determination, Sanji marched out of the kitchen, eager to find you and to show you that your love did not go unheard.

[7ndipity]

False Pretenses

fwb!Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Just how fair does the ‘benefits’ aspect between Friends with Benefits actually extend? Based on this meme.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: crack to fluff, suggestive moments and ending, swearing, Jk has side by side washer/dryer units cause it’s funnier, reader’s referred to as ‘Ma’am’, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! Sorry it took me soo long to get to, I hope you’ll still like it tho! (I’ll also be posting a couple more pieces with this pairing in the next couple weeks, so keep your eyes peeled if you liked this)

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

It was the type of text you had gotten more than used to receiving from him over the past few months, smirking down at your phone as you waited for the elevator in his building.

“Need you so bad rn. Come over?❤”

The heart was a new addition, he must be feeling particularly needy today, you thought to yourself as the elevator doors finally opened.

Since the two of you had established this new part of your friendship, it was rare for you to go more than four or five days without receiving some variation of the same short message from him.

You were still slightly surprised by his text, seeing as you had only been over the night before, but you weren’t complaining by any means. Though you may have enjoyed pretending that Jungkook was the needier one in your arrangement, if you were completely honest, you were just as affected by him, finding yourself missing him on the nights you didn’t spend together.

When he opened the door, you noticed he looked a little more disheveled than usual, his hair sticking up all over the place, as if he’d been running his hands through it, a habit you knew he did when he was stressed.

“You got here fast.” He noted, letting you into the apartment.

“Well, your text made it sound kinda urgent, didn’t want to leave you waiting too long.” You said, wandering through into the living room, slowing to a stop as you caught sight of the chaotic state of the space, cleaning supplies and laundry scattered around, furniture moved all out of place.

“What happened in here?” You asked, turning back to Jungkook, who was now avoiding your eyes. “Koo?”

“I lied, I didn’t want sex.” He said guiltily, looking up at you. “I need you to help me clean.”

“I-, what?” You blinked at him, unsure if you heard him correctly.

He slumped back against the counter, looking stressed as he ran his hand through his hair again. ”My parents decided to surprise me by announcing they’re coming to visit tomorrow, but I’ve done nothing but sleep since I got home from tour last week, so the house is a fucking mess and everything’s a disaster and I need help, please.” He pleaded, staring at you.

You immediately began pulling your coat back on, turning back towards the door. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Y/n, please!” He quickly followed after you, catching your sleeve. “I’ll do anything you want! I’ll buy you dinner, I’ll rub your back, I’ll even let you pick what we watch for a month!”

You paused, turning to look back at him with a raised brow. “Even if I want to re-watch ‘Our Beloved Summer’ for a third time?”

He bit lip, trying to fight back a pained grimace before nodding slowly. “Whatever you want.”

You stared at him for a long moment.

“Fine.” You said reluctantly, caving as you saw the genuine desperation in his eyes. You could never say no to him.

“Thank you!” He sang, catching you in a tight hug and spinning you around in a circle. “I promise I’ll make it up to you!”

“Yeah, whatever,” You grumbled as he set you back on your feet. “Where do we start?”

“Laundry room?” He offered. “It’s mostly done, I just need to vacuum behind the machines.”

Do you really think your mom’s gonna look back there?” You raised a brow, following him down the hall.

“She’s very thorough.” He said seriously.

“Fair enough.” You shrugged. “I don’t quite see why I’m necessary for this part though?”

“I was afraid if I tried to clean back there by myself, I’d slip and get stuck or die.”

“So you want me to slip and die behind your washer instead?” You shot him an accusatory look.

“No! I’ll hold onto you and keep you safe,” He smiled reassuringly. “You know, like the buddy system.”

“I thought the buddy system was for camping so you didn’t get lost or eaten by bears?”

“It’s a multi-purpose system!” He said, his earlier agitation starting to flare up again at your teasing. “Are you gonna help me or not?”

“Yeah, I’ll do it, pass me the vacuum.” You relented, boosting yourself up on top of the dryer.

He held onto your hips to keep you balanced as you cleaned, his mind beginning to wander as he stared at your ass, his fingers starting to slowly knead your flesh absent-mindedly.

“Koo.” You warned, shooting him a quick look.

“Right, sorry.” He snapped back to attention, ceasing his movements and focusing back on the task at hand.

You finished up quickly, passing the vacuum attachment back to him and letting him help you down.

“Thank you.” He said.

“You’re welcome.” You answered, looking around expectantly. “What’s next?”

The apartment wasn’t nearly as bad of a mess as he claimed it to be, but it still took both of you several hours of work to get everything back in order, finishing off with laundry and changing all the bedding.

“Why are these sticky?!” You asked, mildly horrified as you helped him strip the sheets off his bed.

“Relax, it’s just caramel sauce.” He said.

You looked up at him confused. “We didn’t use-?”

“No no, that was just me,” He explained quickly. “I had ice cream last night.”

“Without me?!” You said, clutching your chest in feign hurt, making him roll his eyes as he let out a huff of laughter.

“I’ll add that to the list of things I need to make up for, okay?” He said.

“Eh, it’s better than where my mind went.” You said, only half joking as you grabbed the fresh sheets from him and turned back to the bed. “Almost thought you were fucking around behind my back for a second there.”

Facing away from him, you missed the way his expression suddenly turned serious as he looked at you. “I would never.”

It was strange, despite the supposedly ‘casual’ nature of your arrangement, you both found yourselves making little comments like that, words and exchanges that sounded a lot more like things said between a committed couple, rather than just two friends helping each other out till you found something more serious.

“Alright, I think that’s everything.” You said, snapping him out of his thoughts. You had finished making up the bed, even turning down the covers for him.

“Thank you, y/n.” He said gratefully. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“Probably called Hobi.” You smirked, making him snort.

“Now, you promised me food, and if you lie to me twice in the same day, I’m dumping your ass.” You said, earning another laugh from him.

“Alright, whatever you want, just like I said.” He said, leaning down to give you a quick kiss.

“Although, if you wanted, I could make up for my false pretenses from earlier in a different way?” He offered, eyes darkening slightly as his hands drifted over your hips

You lightly shoved his hands away. “Not a chance, Loverboy, I’m way too tired now. You’ll have to try and ‘make it up to me’ some other time.”

“How about tomorrow?” He said, eyes twinkling mischievously, looping his arms around your waist instead to keep you close.

“I thought your parents were coming over tomorrow?” You reminded, raising a brow at him.

“You could come over after.” He suggested. “Hell, you could even come to dinner with us, my parents like getting to meet my friends.”

“Friends?” You looked up at him skeptically.

“Yeah, what?” He laughed, squeezing you lightly.

“Do you let your other friends suck your di-?”

“They don’t need to know the details of our relationship!” He said quickly, his face flushing slightly, making you snicker. “You’re still my friend, one of my best friends actually.” He added, in a soft tone.

The way he said it made your heart twist in a weird way, though you didn’t quite understand why.

“So?” He asked, staring down at you hopefully. “Will you come?”

You chewed your lip, considering. It felt like a really big commitment to meet his family, regardless of what your relationship was, but you tell it would mean a lot to him if you said yes.

“I’ll think about it.” You said finally.

He beamed.

“Thank you!” He said, leaning in to kiss you again, his lips lingering longer this time, tracing over yours lightly, making you shiver.

You pressed closer to him, hooking your arms around his neck as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss, letting your tongue delve into his mouth as his hands grip on your waist tightened.

When you pulled back for air, his pupils were blown wide, eyes almost black as he stared down at you, breathing heavily.

“Take your shirt off.” You ordered, your breaths equally unsteady.

“But I thought you said-?”

“I changed my mind.” You cut him off, tugging at the fabric impatiently. “Shirt off, now.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn

[darubyprincx]

Tango was crouched in an obscure corner of Decked Out, crammed into as small a hole as he could find as the stone overhead creaked and groaned. With one arm over his head, he grumpily typed a message into chat:

<TangoTek> what is it with the lag

<TangoTek> my redstone keeps skipping and it's gonna start breaking stuff

<Xisuma> Were exploring the 1.20 update

<TangoTek> i had to turn everything off

<Xisuma> Loading lots of chunks

He sighed and, taking out his shield, jammed it into place above his head. If this place came down, he was probably going down with it, but he preferred to not lose all his stuff under a bunch of rubble.

The dungeon was not happy.

About two hours ago, the server had started skipping randomly, which was disorienting enough normally but definitely wasn't helped by the fact that Decked Out had started going haywire as well.

Not only was the redstone flashing on and off erratically, but the structure itself was literally warping as the dungeon contorted itself into new, agonized shapes to try and avoid the lag. Which wasn't great if you were in the middle of it, like Tango was.

A hiss sounded from above him, and Tango shot out of the little hole he'd been hiding in as the roof split in two, held up only by his shield, which itself twisted and snapped.

<TangoTek> guys this isn't good

<TangoTek> things are gettgn a bit dicwy down her e

<Xisuma> Whats happening?

<TangoTek> decked out angry

Unfortunately, he couldn't elaborate further because at that point, the entire hallway behind him collapsed and he sprinted upwards towards safety.

Cracks appeared in the walls. The floor and ceiling shook. Tango stumbled up stairs and through the winding hallways, gasping and falling over as soon as he got to the entrance to the first level. The dungeon growled warningly behind him.

"It's not my fault, okay!" he gasped, trying to get his robes realigned. "It's the- it's the other people here! They're exploring all out and lagificating the server! I have nothing to do with this!"

Decked Out growled again, and dust shook from the roof.

"Come on, buddy," Tango pleaded. "Not my fault. I haven't even left here in... a... month."

Should he be worried about that?

Nah. It was probably fine.

The dungeon's door opened minutely on its own with a shriek of stressed metal, then slammed shut again. Tango winced as the edges crumpled, and the dungeon let out another groan, softer this time. It almost sounded like it was in... pain?

Yeah, okay, he probably wasn't fine after a month down there. He was hallucinating a dungeon having emotions. Like, come on. Surely-

"OI," came a very loud and very indignant voice from the entrance. Tango looked over his shoulder to see Zedaph standing there in a hot pink hazmat suit, hands on hips. "UNNUM I HREN, YOU BEAF!"

"What?" asked Tango.

Zedaph took off his helmet and shook out his hair. "UNHAND MY FRIEND, YOU BEAST!" he repeated. The dungeon growled again, and all of the redstone went eerily silent.

"Zed, buddy," Tango tried, scooting backwards a few paces, "I don't think-"

"Don't take that tone with me," said Zedaph, helmet by his feet and hands back on his hips. His face was turned towards the ceiling, but Tango got the feeling he was addressing him as well. "You put my friend in danger. And let me tell you-" he pointed an accusing finger at the wall, Tango wanted to tell him that he should be pointing down instead but didn't "-that's not gonna fly. You hear that? I will not stand for this."

Decked Out growled again, closer and more menacingly this time, and Tango scrambled to his feet. "Zed, buddy," he said again, more urgently this time, "drop it. It's fine. I'm safe, see! Not a scratch!" He opened his arms to try and prove the point, but Zedaph just glowered at him.

"There is a gash on your arm," he said slowly. Tango looked over to see a cut on his inner arm, which had somehow pierced right through his specially reinforced robes. He drew it back in, folding his arm, but Zedaph had already stomped right up to the door.

"Did you hear that?" he said. "There is a cut. On his arm. Still bleeding. And I bet I know whose fault it is."

"Zed!" shouted Tango, running up and trying to yank him backwards. "Stop! Lay it off! Can it! You don't know what you're-"

The server skipped again, much worse this time, and in between the pauses Tango heard a loud shriek coming from below, slowly growing in pitch and intensity.

"Now look what you've done," said Tango, fear and anxiety tinting his voice a dark navy blue. "Dude. Are you an idiot?"

The floor shook, and from below a low rumbling could be heard. The door started to slowly open.

"Come on," he said to Zedaph, who was not moving. He tugged at his sleeve. "You need to go. Why aren't you listening to me?" He shook Zedaph's shoulders, but he just shrugged off the attempts.

From within the dungeon wafted out a horrible smell, horrible not because it was repulsive but horrible because of its implications. The only way Tango could put it was that it smelled like death. Death and dread and doom. He hid behind Zedaph, who calmly stood his ground.

"Yeah, yeah, alright," he said with a snort. "Try to intimidate me. You forget that my whole thing in season 6 was that I was good friends with Death himself. Oh, wait! You weren't there for that!"

The rumbling stopped, confused, and Zedaph continued as Tango continued tugging fruitlessly backwards on his sleeve.

"Listen. I know the lag sucks and all that but that's not an excuse to put my lad Tango here in danger," said Zed, sounding quite confident for someone who was literally facing down a questionably sentient and definitely not friendly megastructure. "We've met before. You know me. You also know him. And you should know by now because I've said it like, five times that if you did anything to put him in harm's way besides like, regular ravager stuff that he does anyways because he's an idiot, I'd get him out of there because he deserves better and you lost your right to keep him for the day. Right?"

The dungeon was silent.

"Right?"

Tango's comm beeped, as did Zedaph's, and he checked it and sighed. "One moment, please," he said to the dungeon, who creaked in response.

<impulseSV> forgot to check comms, everything good over there?

<Zedaph> yep! just negotiating with a sentient and probably evil dungeon

<impulseSV> what?

<Zedaph> Decked Out

<Zedaph> it's haunted

<impulseSV> What?

<GeminiTay> Decked Out's haunted???????

<Zedaph> Decked Out's haunted

He shoved his comm back into his pocket and turned his attention back towards the door. "As I was saying, we have an agreement, do we not?"

The dungeon continued to be silent, but Tango could sense deeply annoyed confirmation in the tone of it.

"We do," said Zedaph. "And because of that agreement, you have to uphold your end. I get to do tests for Tango once a month and you get to kill me or whatever, and in return you let him go once a month. If I take him outside of that one day per month, I get killed in a freak ravager accident-"

"What?" whispered Tango.

"-and if he gets hurt and it's your fault, you have to let him go for a day," said Zedaph. "So yeah. It's 2pm. We will be back at this time tomorrow. Hand him over, please."

Tango fully expected a Ravager or a Warden to come barrelling out of the door and gore the both of them to death. He was already preparing his speech to Zedaph about how you did not just talk to the dungeon that way and how it would absolutely remember it next time when the doors behind them reluctantly opened of their own volition, letting the sunlight stream freely in. Tango just blinked at it.

"Thank you," said Zedaph behind him, dragging Tango alongside him as he stomped towards the exit. Tango just stared behind him, mouth agape, and as the door clanged shut he flinched.

"How did you?" he asked, mouth still wide open. "You just- you can't just- huh? Zed, buddy, that was the stupidest- you could have- what?"

Zedaph just raised an eyebrow as he looked at him. "Because I'm your friend," he said. "And that's just a big stupid building."

The "big stupid building" groaned warningly behind him.

"Sorry!" Zedaph shouted at it. He turned back to Tango, still not letting go of his arm. "Anyways, I think you need therapy. Come to think of it, the dungeon also needs therapy."

Head still spinning, Tango tried his best to make sense of the past fifteen minutes. "Dungeon... therapy?"

"Yep," said Zed, letting him go and starting down the stairs. "Difficult, but I'm 99% sure it can be done." He paused. "Make that 98%. I haven't talked to Cleo about it yet. Are you coming with me or not?"

"You," Tango said, jogging a little to catch up with him as he bit into a carrot, "are insane."

"Way less than you are, my friend," said Zedaph. He wrinkled his nose. "Aw, dang. Forgot my helmet. That's not surviving another 5 minutes. Oh well. I have spares at home."

"Definitely not," agreed Tango. "So... what are we going to do?"

"Not sure," said Zed thoughtfully.

"We could go back in-" Tango started hopefully.

"Oh, no," said Zedaph. "You are not going anywhere near there in the next twenty four hours, mister. Oh!" He snapped his fingers. "I got it. We can go peoplewatching! I heard Mumbo's working on his farms. Maybe we could mess with him."

"Sounds like a plan," said Tango.

And the two walked off, the dungeon glowering behind them.

[hugmekenobi]

Next Steps

A Bad Batch Post S2 Oneshot

Gif by @im-no-jedi

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: Although your return to the Batch has made things better, there are still elements of your past you have to face...

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, made-up timeline and what I imagine what Echo will be doing, limited use of y/n, swearing, my views on mindsets, referenced 'dead' characters and nightmares, mentions/descriptions of torture, detailed scar descriptions, angst, light fluff, nickname 'sweetheart', some emotional hurt/comfort, body and general worship, Hunter being dominant but a consent king, hint of a praise kink, Smut (non-explicit descriptions of making out/kissing, grinding, edging, fingering, oral (f) receiving, overstimulation, handjob, unprotected p in v- not in reality please), reader described as strong and powerful, smart and beautiful, Force-communication and more of my general interpretation of how the Force feels/works

Masterlist for S1 and S2

Word Count: 12.8K

Rating: 18+

Author's note: Once again, a massive thank you to @burningfieldof-clover for helping me when I got stuck and who I am very grateful to have as a friend! Dropping this before S3 graces our screens and I hope you all enjoy!

Chibbier

Echo waited in the forest clearing as the Marauder touched down. “I got your message. It sounded urgent, is everything alright?” Echo asked as soon as the door to the Marauder opened revealing his two brothers.

“Everything is fine, Echo.” Hunter said.

“More than fine.” Wrecker emphasised.

“But we agreed we weren’t to meet until (Y/N) was back with us so unless you’ve found her…” He trailed off as he saw the smile tugging at Wrecker’s mouth and Hunter in particular seemed more at ease than he’d been in the recent months. “Wait a second, you mean-”

“Hey stranger.” You said with a grin as you came into view and stood between Hunter and Wrecker. You laughed as Echo’s expression changed from stunned to happy then to relief in quick succession. You jogged down the steps and embraced him tightly. “Long time no see.”

“I’ll say.” Echo replied with a smile as he mirrored your actions. “You had me worried.”

“Worried?” You queried. It sounded like he had a specific worry in mind rather than the general worries that had plagued the rest of you for months.

“Last news of you I’d heard had me getting ready to tell the boys to launch a rescue mission.” Echo said as he parted from you. “But lucky for us, they found you before I needed to share that.”

If you weren’t so happy to see him, you could’ve punched him. You weren’t far away enough from the other two and you knew Echo’s words wouldn’t go unheard, especially by the clone with enhanced senses. You hadn’t gotten around to sharing that part of your time alone and you weren’t sure that you wanted to either.

Hunter hadn’t forgotten that there was something about your past that you weren’t telling him. He’d noticed small shifts and changes in your behaviour since you’d been back. It was things like you made sure to keep your top layer on at all times and if you had to take it off, you would always go to the refresher regardless of it you were alone or not which was something you never used to do. You hadn’t communicated with either him or Wrecker in the silent way you were able to do where they’d hear your voice in their head which was something you did regularly in the past. You were also more emotionally and physically distant, the latter happening at night in particular and ordinarily it wouldn’t bother him, but he knew the cause was rooted in something you’d gone through. But every time he tried to broach the issue, you refused to talk about whatever it was that was causing it, and it pained him that he could do nothing but watch the negative impact it continued to have on you.

“What’s going on with, Omega? Any new leads?” You asked Echo instead, ignoring Hunter’s hand that now rested on your upper arm.

“(Y/N)-”

“Not now, Hunter. Please.”

Hunter released a quiet and resigned sigh. He wanted to help you if he could, but he also knew he had to wait until you were ready. It was just getting harder to do that.

Echo glanced between the two of you. “I said something I shouldn’t have, didn’t I?”

You shook your head. “Don’t worry about it. Just fill us in.”

Echo’s eyes darted to Hunter who only nodded. He took a breath and waited for Wrecker to join the three of you. “Nothing new. Imperial security on Hemlock is tight and any breakthrough just results in more cryptic information.”

“Yeah, we’ve had much of the same.” You agreed irritably.

Echo nodded before he faced Hunter. “I know we said that we’d come together once we had (Y/N) back with us, but I think it’s better if I stay doing what I’m doing. Rex and I are going to meet and try to pool together what we’ve gathered. We can tell you what we find and send you to follow up on other sources since we can’t cover everything ourselves and you can also keep searching on your own.”

Before Hunter could form a reply, the sound of branches snapping grabbed his attention.

The blaster bolt that immediately followed the noise, skimmed the armour on your upper arm.

You all reacted quickly and took cover behind the trees.

The onslaught of fire was being directed towards you and would only occasionally be aimed to your fellow clones as a way to keep them from advancing towards the source. Evidently you were the main target here.

“Hunter!” You shouted over the sound of blaster fire. When he pressed his back against the tree trunk and his helmet looked over to you, you called on the Force and dragged the assailant out from their spot, and a well-aimed shot from Hunter saw to it that the blaster was rendered useless. You kept that link with your ally to Force-push them into another tree, and they crumbled to the floor.

All of you lowered your blaster for the moment. You needed to find out why they were here, killing them immediately wouldn’t get you very far.

You stepped out from behind your tree and observed the bounty hunter carefully. Throughout the firefight, you’d felt yourself being pulled towards them, but you couldn’t work out why and that urge hadn’t gone away.

Stiff and unsteady movements had you readying your blaster again but as the hunter got to their feet and caught your eye, you understood why that feeling was there.

Your heart stopped and you stayed rooted to the spot as you saw the blade ignite from the hilt they were holding. The ground around them illuminated in a pale blue haze and you understood what was calling you to the hunter now. Your feet suddenly began moving of their own accord.

The other three all shared a collective bewildered look at what was unfolding in front of them.

Hunter collected his shock quickly and raised his hand to order the others to halt their fire as you fully stepped out to into the clearing.

The bounty hunter charged for you, but the attack posed little threat to you. Whoever this was had no idea how to use an elegant weapon like this and their grip was heavy and clumsy. It wouldn’t take much for you to disarm them.

You ducked under their reckless and uncoordinated swing, grabbed their wrist, and bent it back until the weapon fell from their grasp. You landed a hard kick to their chest, and they stumbled back. The hood fell loose- now exposing a feminine face- but she wasn’t a bounty hunter you recognised. You didn’t have much time to dwell on that since she grabbed a small knife from her boot and jabbed it towards your stomach. You parried away her strikes before you grew tired of dragging this altercation out. Landing a strong punch to her jaw, you used her dazed disposition to Force-pull her face down to the forest floor and waved the others forward.

Hunter and Wrecker pressed their knees into her back and brought her arms around to firmly hold them behind her.

You paid little attention to what they were doing. You hesitantly walked over to the weapon left discarded on the ground.

“Who hired you?” Hunter demanded as he held her down.

“Fuck off.” She snarled as she fought against their grip, but they were too strong, and she was in a much weaker position than she’d been in ten minutes ago.

Echo merely bent down to reach into her jacket pocket and pulled out the tracking fob and bounty puck. Your holographic image confirming what they’d all suspected.

Upon seeing that, Hunter found himself pushing his knee deeper into her spine, paying little attention to her groans of protest.

“Where did you get this?” You questioned softly, more to yourself than anything. You kept your back turned to her as you knelt down and studied the familiar design on the hilt. You couldn’t pick it up, not yet. You knew what you would feel if you did, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

“What?” The bounty hunter snapped as she went for another attempt to wriggle free, but the two clones kept her tight to the forest floor.

You stiffened your posture as you turned on your heels and strode over to her. You lowered your mask, found your voice, and crouched down to her eye level. “Where did you get the lightsaber?” You pointed back to where the weapon still lay abandoned.

“I’m not telling you a thing, Jedi brat.” She spat.

At her words, Hunter twisted her arm harder, ignoring her pained cry.

You signalled to Hunter to ease up and you stood tall once more and indicated to them both to get her on her feet.

Once they did so, you pressed your blaster against her stomach and brought your lips close to her ear- your voice a quiet but lethal whisper. “You know who I am and what I’ve done to people to get what I want. Do you want to be next?” At her harsh gulp, you kept pushing. “I can’t imagine what that’ll do for your reputation in your community... then again, maybe I can… shall we find out?” You knew you’d done enough as you sensed her flicker of fear. You took a step back and looked at her with a firm glare.

“It was the client I did the job for.” She muttered begrudgingly. She wasn’t about to be maimed or die for a job that wasn’t paying all that much in the first place. She’d worked too hard to be seen as a contender, she couldn’t lose that now.

“And who was that?” Hunter asked again, his voice steely.

“Some shop owner.” She replied irritably.

“A name.” You insisted.

“I can’t remember.”

You puffed out an exasperated sigh and took a half step forward.

“Kedrin! His name was Kedrin!” She revealed fretfully.

You saw the shared look between Hunter and Wrecker. “That name mean something to you?”

Wrecker nodded. “He was the one that told us to go to Christophsis to find you.”

The name meant nothing to you upon initially hearing it but evidently you were involved somehow. You ran the information over in your head. Shop owner… Kedrin… Christophsis… it was starting to make sense in your head and that would mean… Your breath caught in your throat as it hit you. You hadn’t even known his name and you’d taken his only family away from him.

“Why set the bounty on her?” Echo asked coolly, keeping his blaster focused on her.

“Not really supposed to ask.” She grunted. “He just mentioned a dead brother.” She saw the flash of something in your eyes… it looked like regret. “Oh… you killed him.”

You glared at her. You hadn’t had time to fill Echo in yet and this was not how you wanted to go about it.

Echo’s eyes darted from her to you. “What is she talking about?”

“Echo…” You started but a cruel laugh from the bounty hunter interrupted you.

“Oh, she’s achieved quite the reputation. Can’t go far in the Outer Rim without coming across someone who had dealings with her.”

Echo angled his head to face you, but you wouldn’t meet his gaze. As hard as you were trying to hide it, you looked… ashamed?

“Back off.” Wrecker growled at the hunter as he saw your mask of composure slip for a moment.

“What’s the matter, Jedi? Suddenly the killing and torture got too much for you? If they were all as weak as you, no wonder they’re all gone.” She taunted mercilessly.

“Shut up.” Hunter snarled as he saw the way your fists clenched as you worked on keeping your distress at bay.

But you knew it was a pointless venture. Despite her current predicament, that bounty hunter arrogance was in full flow now that she’d discovered your weakness, and she wasn’t about to stop. Her stare was filled with malice, but you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of turning away. Your shoulders heaved as you worked on keeping your breathing even and controlled.  

The bounty hunter addressed the clones now. "I didn’t get much guidance from my client aside from ‘kill her’ so ever since I picked up that bounty, I've been trying to think of the most chaotic way to take her out. She's obviously felt enough emotional turmoil that an easy death would be a mercy. Jedi don't deserve the luxury. I like to play with my food before I kill it."

“And how’s that worked out for you?” You retorted though your conviction was weak as her words found their mark and her sneer told you she was completely unbothered about her current situation now. Your only plan involved letting her overconfidence be her own undoing.

“Nice try.” She mocked. “For a moment I believed your threats but now that I’m really looking at you, I know you don’t have it in you to kill me anymore. You’ve gone soft and you’re pathetic I can see it in your eyes- you’re haunted by what you’ve done, Jedi.”

Your jaw clenched and you could feel those emotions you’d worked so hard to control start to rise to the surface.

“I’m getting outta here and I fully intend to finish what the Empire started-”

Hunter’s fatal shot to her chest silenced her and she flopped to the ground.

“Looks like you have something you need to deal with first.” Echo advised Hunter as he destroyed the puck and tracking fob for good measure before he holstered his blaster. He faced you. “I still don’t know what happened whilst you were on your own, but your past is your own, I won’t hold anything against you, we’re still okay.” He reassured you.

You barely managed a nod of acknowledgement as her words were still replaying in your mind, but you wouldn’t let it show. Instead, you took out your vibroblade and cut a section of her clothing. You stayed silent as you took the piece of fabric and wrapped the lightsaber in it. You knew it was a lame gesture- especially since you immediately felt that rush of connection as you lifted it- but it provided you with a false sense of security that you would rather have because the second you made unrestrained contact with it, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist or turn your back on it again. You held the hilt tightly before you waved farewell to Echo and made for the ship.

Hunter nodded absentmindedly at Echo’s words whilst his gaze was fixed on you. He knew seeing that lightsaber might bring back some memories, but the intensity of your reaction told him there was more to it than simply remembering that period of your life. He pulled himself out of his thoughts and reached his hand out to Echo. “Be safe, Echo. We’ll be in touch once we’ve dealt with this.”

“You too.” Echo replied, meeting Hunter’s hand in a firm handshake before they parted, and he watched Hunter head back to the Marauder.

“See you later, Echo.” Wrecker said warmly as he lightly slapped his brother’s shoulder before he followed Hunter to the ship.

--

“What’s so special about this lightsaber?” Wrecker asked as the ship entered hyperspace.

Hunter leaned against the entrance to the cockpit, arms crossed as he studied you. Your eyes hadn’t left the weapon sitting in your lap.

“It’s mine.” You said quietly.

Hunter immediately straightened up. “It’s yours?” He repeated.

“Yup.” You cleared your throat and brought your eyes up to face the two clones. “I figured it would’ve been destroyed in Order 66. Guess not.” You said with a resigned sigh.

“Woah! Talk about lucky!” Wrecker said excitedly but you didn’t seem to match his enthusiasm. “This is good news, isn’t it?” He asked, tilting his head at you.

“I don’t know what kind of news it is, Wrecker.” You said honestly.

“What’s your hold up?” Hunter asked curiously.

“Yeah, it’s a pretty handy weapon to have and if it belongs to you, isn’t it better that it’s back with you?” Wrecker followed up.

“It’s difficult to explain.” You deflected.

“Try us.” Hunter encouraged gently.

You shot him a look, hoping he would drop it but the look in his eyes told you that he was not for dissuading. You released a short breath. “It would be like taking back a section of my life I was ready to leave behind. That I had left behind… for years.”

“And you don’t know if you’re ready to reconnect with that part of you yet?” Hunter guessed.

You shrugged in complacent agreement. “Making the choice to leave the Jedi Order was already difficult and leaving my lightsaber…. well, that was hard enough the first time and now that I have it back… I don’t know.” You ran a hand over your face. “It’s just complicated.” You got to your feet and carefully put the lightsaber on a shelf in the cockpit.

Wrecker slapped his hands against his thighs. “Well, I always think things look less complicated after a good sleep, what do ya say? We all could use some rest before we sort out this Kedrin guy.”

Sleep didn’t provide you with much respite these days, but you hummed out a quiet laugh and shared a brief smile with Hunter. “Sounds like a good idea, Wrecker.”

--

Hunter jolted awake, panic setting in as he reached for you only to find that you weren’t there, and he had a horrible feeling that he hadn’t woken up yet. But no, he could hear Wrecker’s faint snores, so he had to be awake, and he knew he was back with you, it wasn’t a trick. There would be a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why you weren’t lying next to him right now.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. You were here, you’d been here for a while now. He’d found you; you were okay. It wasn’t like before. You were probably just in the cockpit. Yes, that’s where you had to be.

When he felt himself calm down, he got to his feet and noiselessly made his way there but paused in the entryway as he saw you reading one of Tech’s old datapads, top layer still on, feet tucked up beneath you as you sat in the pilot’s seat. He thought he’d gathered them all. “Where’d you find that?” He rasped; his voice still thick with sleep.

You jumped in your chair as you heard him. You had been utterly absorbed in what you were reading, you hadn’t sensed him approach. You looked up to see Hunter standing in the doorway to the cockpit. “Tucked behind the medkit. I forgot how much Tech truly recorded.” You said in fond remembrance although there was an overall sense of sorrow in your voice. You flashed him the title of the current report you were reading. “Remember that mission on Ryloth?”

“You and Wrecker got separated from the rest of us and decided to blow up the target from the inside and escape through the garbage chute if I remember correctly?”

“Right.” You said with a soft chuckle.

“Pretty sure that was the mission that made you a fully-fledged member of our squad, Wrecker couldn’t stop raving about you after that. I was almost jealous.” Hunter managed to joke.

You gave him a small grin at that before you turned off the datapad and properly took him in. “Guess you couldn’t sleep either?” You asked in a hushed voice as Hunter stepped further into the cockpit.

Hunter merely shook his head and sat across from you.

“Nightmares?” You figured as you delicately put the datapad back and sat in your seat once more.

“I prefer calling them recaps.” Hunter muttered dully as he sat across from you.

You reached for his knee and squeezed it comfortingly. “Do you want to talk more about them?”

Hunter shook his head. “You know and lived it all too and being here with you helps anyway. What about you?”

“Just a lot weighing on my mind.” You said airily as you brought your hand back to your lap.

Hunter made a small noise of quiet understanding. He hadn’t been expecting much more by way of a response from you.

“I don’t know how he does it.” You whispered in sad envy as you jutted your chin over to where Wrecker was sleeping soundly.

Hunter followed your gaze and sighed. “It’s the only way he can switch off. Especially in the early months, he struggled with remembering everything.”

“Yeah, any form of healing from all this won’t be easy.” You said with a heavy breath.

“Wrecker might be able to sleep better than we can, but he keeps a blaster by him and has his hand on it at all times. I don’t think he ever wants to be caught off guard again.” Hunter replied solemnly. “Moving on won’t ever be simple.”

You dipped your head in agreement and leaned back in your chair.

The minutes ticked by and the two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while before Hunter cleared his throat. “I’m going to be selfish for a moment, okay?”

You tilted your head at him and adjusted your posture to give him your full attention. “Okay…”

Hunter took another breath, his throat bobbing before he spoke, “You can’t leave me to wake up alone like that.”

It hit you immediately. Fuck, you’d been an idiot, of course you couldn’t do that. If he’d done that to you, you would lose your shit. How could you have been so stupid? “Hunter-”

“I had one night too many of waking up to a cold and empty space and worrying about where you were and what was happening to you. I can’t go through it again, I won’t. Not anymore.”

You’d been so wrapped up in your own head, you hadn’t even considered what that would do to him, but you should’ve known better, especially because your reaction would be exactly like his. You quietly stood up and closed the short gap between you to straddle his lap.

He accommodated you in an instant and his eyes fluttered shut as you gently stroked your fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry.” You soothed as you placed delicate kisses to his face whilst you moved your hands to rub up and down his chest, his sleep clothes warm and soft beneath your palms.

Hunter caught your wrists and tenderly caressed the scars left there as a result of what you’d endured in Cid’s parlour. “I barely lived through it once and I won’t do it ever again. I don’t care what time it is, if you’re up and struggling with something you wake me up with you. I’d rather that than wake up without you and have that pain and panic set it again. Promise me… please.” He begged, brushing some strands of hair back behind your ear as his eyes looked deep into yours.

You nuzzled into his neck and placed a gentle kiss on his pulse point. “I promise.” Your lips traced his jaw. “And you promise too.”

“I promise.” Hunter agreed and he tucked his fingers under your chin and brought your lips to his.

You had wanted to keep it short and sweet, but you soon found yourself physically incapable. One gentle nip from him on your bottom lip and you were done for. The kiss soon turned hungry and desperate. The two of you were consumed by a passion you’d had no outlet for yet, and you were getting completely lost in the moment. Your hands threaded themselves in his hair and you pressed yourself against him as he deepened the kiss and squeezed your hips to get you to subtly grind against him which were instructions you were only too happy to follow.

It was all over though when you felt his hands start to reach the bottom of your shirt and brush against your bare skin. Instinctively, you flinched away, and you crashed back to reality. You knew what marks you were concealing, and what he would feel if he lifted your shirt, and it wasn’t something he should have to see. “I- I can’t.” You panted against his lips. Your body yearned for him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go any further, not yet. Everything was still too fresh, and you couldn’t, no matter how much you wanted to.

Even though his body burned for you, he’d never push you into this, but he wanted to share the burden of whatever it was that was tormenting you. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened to you?” Hunter murmured breathlessly as he glanced up at you.

You swallowed thickly. “I want to but-” You released a low, shaky breath. “It’s- it’s hard to talk about.”

Hunter stroked your cheek. “Well, when you’re ready, I’ll be right there.”

You pressed your lips into his palm.

“Come on, let’s try to get some rest. We’ll arrive at Nelvaan in a few hours.” He kissed your forehead before you got to your feet and the two of you made your way back to your bunk.

--

“Y- you’re supposed- supposed to be dead!” Kedrin exclaimed fearfully as he cowered behind the main counter upon seeing you standing in the doorway of his shop, the two clones on either side of your shoulders.

“You should’ve sprung for a better bounty hunter then.” You countered as you walked towards the store owner. “I have some questions for you.”

“No, I’m not dealing with any of you ever again!” Kedrin reached underneath the counter and pulled out a blaster and pointed it at you.

You stopped your advance and raised your hands in surrender. “Kedrin, I just need to talk to you.”

“Fuck you! You don’t get to use my name and talk to me like what you did to me was nothing!”

You internally cringed at the memory of what you’d put him through.

“Did you even know he was my brother?!” He shouted in anger. “Did you even care, you heartless bitch?!”

Hunter tensed beside you.

You lightly grazed his hand with your own to tell him it was fine but at the same time shame coiled in your gut. You lowered your mask and kept your voice low and composed. “Kedrin-”

“Stop using my fucking name, you never bothered with it before!” He then turned his rage to the clone that stood closest to you. “And you! I still have the scar from you!” He yelled at the clone on your right, the blaster in his hand still quivering as he aimed it between the three of you.

Hunter stood unwavering beside you and said nothing.

You saw how unsteady his grip on his blaster was. “You’re not a killer, Kedrin. It’s why you sent the bounty hunter after me in the first place.” You said as an attempt to talk him down but the Force around him was in complete chaos, the only emotion that had any kind of control was his anger and that was dangerous. You knew the kind of pain and wrath the loss of a loved one could unleash, and it was why you’d never wanted to put anyone through it in the first place but now you were seeing the impact of your mistake firsthand.

“You killed my brother you fucking bitch!”

You sensed him getting ready to pull the trigger. “Kedrin-” You ducked as the blaster bolt came straight for your head. You channelled the Force and took the blaster from his hand whilst Hunter and Wrecker used that distraction to advance and subdue him. They shoved his head and torso down to press against the countertop.

“Do you want one to match?” Hunter threatened as he reached for his vibroblade and held the sharp point just above Kedrin’s unmarked hand as he and Wrecker held him down.

“Hunter, it’s okay.” You said, pulling him back from that line the two of you had agreed to keep each other from as you saw the way his grip strengthened and the wince of pain Kedrin couldn’t conceal.

Kedrin kept looking for a way out of their hold but was proving futile. “She murdered my brother.” He whimpered as he continued some half-hearted attempts to free himself.

“You’re right. I did.” You approached him and crouched to meet his eyeline. “And it was a mistake that I’m plagued by to this day. All I can do is say that I’m sorry. I know you’d love nothing more than to kill me too, it would probably feel great but please, please Kedrin, don’t do this. It won’t end well for you.” You begged. When his resistance finally ceased, you turned your attention to Hunter.

“Give us a minute.” You said to Hunter, resting a hand on the top of his shoulder.

“But-” Hunter got ready to argue.

“Hunter.” You interrupted firmly and fixed him with a stern stare.

Recognising that tone and look in your eyes, Hunter released a disgruntled but compliant sigh and nodded to Wrecker to let him go. He holstered his blaster and sheathed his vibroblade before leading the way out.

As you heard the door shut, you stepped back from the counter to give Kedrin some space. “You have no reason to trust me, but I promise that I’m not going to hurt you, that’s not why I’m here.”

“You’re- you’re not here to kill me for the bounty hunter?” Kedrin asked warily.  

You shook your head. “There was a time where that’s what precisely I would do and I wouldn’t even hesitate, but you’re not the person I’m supposed to be hurting and neither was your brother. I know nothing I say will bring you comfort but I am not here to kill you. I only want to talk.” You said sincerely as you put your weapons to the ground and faced him calmly.

Kedrin massaged his right shoulder- which had been on the receiving end of a particularly harsh grip from the clone you referred to as ‘Hunter’- and narrowed his eyes at you. “What is it exactly that you want to talk about?”

“This.” You placed the lightsaber on the counter and unwrapped it. “Where’d you get it?”

Kedrin wasn’t buying that that was all you wanted to know about, you had to be here for revenge. “How do I know you won’t do some magic thing like you did last time?”

You released an irritated sigh. “Because if I was going to do that, I would’ve done it already. I won’t lie, I can’t leave here with you still intent on sending hunters after me or I will have to do some things neither of us will enjoy, particularly you. I will always regret taking yours away from you, it was never part of my plan to leave someone alone, but my family is still counting on me, and I can’t have anything messing that up. Please, leave us alone and I’ll never bother you again after this.”

Kedrin angled his head and regarded you inquisitively. His body was still filled with fear of being alone with you, but it was like there was a different person standing before him- you seemed genuinely upset and sorry; and that in of itself would be punishment enough- better you feel the guilt of what you’d done than have an easy out. “You’re the most terrifying person I’ve ever met but for some reason, I believe what you’re saying. No more bounty hunters.”

You felt into the Force around him but there was no dishonesty or deceit. “The lightsaber?” You redirected his attention to the weapon on the counter.

Kedrin shrugged. “What about it?”

“Where did you get it?” You repeated impatiently.

Kedrin flinched at your tone and- not wanting to risk upsetting you any further- started wiping down some glass cases to channel his nervous energy and spoke quickly. “I’ve had it for a while, couldn’t tell you who gave it to me. Just that they were employed to be a part of the clean-up after your lot betrayed the Chancellor and found it and wanted a souvenir of the experience.”

You coughed and bit back the flurry of insults and threats that nearly escaped your mouth.

Kedrin, now so focused on his task that he was oblivious to your discomfort, carried on in a restless ramble, “Guess they ran into tough times during the transition period and wanted rid of it for some quick cash. No one really wanted to buy it though, it just sat there which was why I gave it to that bounty hunter.”

You felt your heartbeat thundering in your ears as you realised what this could mean for you. Leaving it behind had been an active choice to cut part of yourself off from the Force and now you had a chance to feel the Force flow through you as a single entity, no more jagged or disjointed connections… but you didn’t know if you were ready for that yet, it was too much to even comprehend. If it had survived everything and found its way back to you… did that mean that you could too?

“So, um are you going to pay for it?” He dared to ask but your sharp and cold glower had him gulping nervously and wringing his hands. “Uh, never mind, you can take it.” He said hastily. “Just let us be done with each other.”

You said nothing to him, you only covered it once more, picked up your other weapons and exited the shop.

--

“Everything okay?” Hunter asked as you emerged from the store.

“We were going to go get some supplies if you want to join?” Wrecker added.

“I need a moment. You guys go.” You said, giving Wrecker your concealed lightsaber and avoiding eye contact with them both as you hurried back to the Marauder.

--

Having found a moment of relief under the warm water, you got out of the shower and started to towel off and redress but as you pulled your tank top over you, you realised you’d left your long sleeve out by your bunk. You swore under your breath and only hoped the other two would take a bit longer on the supply run. You dashed out the door of the refresher and started to rummage through the bunk for it.

“Who did that to you?”

You whipped around to see Hunter stood frozen in the entryway to the Marauder. “Dammit Hunter-”

“Who did that to you?” He repeated heatedly, his concern and rage rising each second. The sight of the deep and cruel scars that disappeared from your upper back beneath your shirt to the rest of your back was engrained in his mind and any plans of waiting for you to come to him evaporated as his anger and protectiveness overcame him.

Wrecker stepped up beside his brother, put the supplies down and your weapon on a shelf. He nervously glanced between the two of you and it didn’t take an enhanced skill for him to pick up on the way Hunter was trembling with fury. “Eh, what’d I miss?”

Hunter ignored him and kept his eyes on you. “Who was it?”

You turned back around to grab your shirt and it was then that you heard Wrecker’s sharp inhale as he too now saw what it was Hunter had seen. You fiddled with the fabric, twisting it tightly in your hands. “It wasn’t like it was solely one person. Just forget about it.” You muttered aloofly.

“No, I can’t just forget about it. Who. Hurt. You?” 

You sighed heavily and half-turned to face the two clones. “It was a two for one special.”

“Don’t.” Hunter chided sternly. He couldn’t have you make light of this, not when he’d seen what you’d gone through now. He couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer anymore and, as awful as a part of him found it, he had to push you now.

There was no leeway in his voice, you weren’t going to be able to dodge and weave your way out of this conversation now. “Basically, it was both Imperial Stormtroopers and their higher command officers.” You swallowed harshly. “They- they worked together on this one.”

Hunter simply stormed away from you to the ship’s controls. “Wrecker, let’s get the ship in the air.”

“You’re going to go after every Imperial officer and stormtrooper in the galaxy?” You scrappily tugged your top layer over you and hustled after the two of them as they strode into the cockpit.

“If I have to!” Hunter growled.

“I’m with the Sarge on this one.” Wrecker agreed severely as he started to power up the ship.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate the thought but that’s not logical nor practical!” You argued.

“Don’t talk to me about practicality when they did that to you!” Hunter shouted angrily.

“It was my fault, Hunter!” You yelled back.

That caused both of them to pause and Wrecker turned off the engine.

“I did it to myself.” You said, your voice scarcely above a whisper as you braced yourself for the time you were about to relive.

“What are you talking about?” Hunter asked, his voice as quiet as yours now as he studied your face carefully.

“Before I tell you, I need you both to stay calm. Especially you.” You said to Hunter. You knew he wasn’t mad at you; his reaction had been exactly as you’d expected. His fierce protectiveness was a quality you loved about him, but it could be his undoing if he wasn’t careful. “And you need to know and accept that nothing would’ve changed it, it wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I acted in poor and emotional judgement and there was nothing you could’ve done to prevent it. Please, trust me on this.” You insisted with a pleading stare at him before you looked to Wrecker who- albeit hesitantly- nodded. You glanced to Hunter again who was still looking like he could take on the Empire singlehandedly. “Hunter?”

Hunter felt a keen sense of dread at your words, and it was highly likely he wouldn’t be able to view it quite as simply as that, but he allowed himself a deep and calming breath. He’d do this for you. “Tell me.”

You exhaled nervously and fidgeted with your hands. Realistically, you’d known you wouldn’t be able to go through the rest of your life without being found out or talking about it but that didn’t make doing this any easier. “I’m sure I don’t really have to go into how hard it was to find each other, right? I’m sure you guys had your fair share of failed leads and things were pretty hopeless for a while, yes?”

Hunter and Wrecker both nodded.

You took another breath. “Right, well, it was the same for me. During our time apart, nothing I did was getting me any closer to you and I could feel it draining me every day. Lyra and I arrived on Christophsis and decided to settle there but it didn’t help. No matter how hard I searched, no matter how much of myself I gave up when it came to getting what I wanted, nothing was bringing results, and I was angry. I was angry, frustrated and just miserable. And it was in that poor state of mind that I made a choice that I shouldn’t have.”

Hunter knew those emotions all too well and he’d get incredibly impatient and unfocused when they got overwhelming, but he’d been fortunate to have Wrecker around to pick up the load when it got too much. Yes, you may have had Lyra, but he knew you and how you operated, and you would’ve put it all on you, regardless of how exhausting it would’ve been and that’s what made him nervous as he awaited further explanation.

You shuffled your feet. “I was being a bit of a nuisance to the Empire wherever I went, Christophsis was no exception, but I was getting nowhere on the information front so, in my slightly unstable state, I figured the best way to find out about you or even Hemlock was to um well, find it straight from the source.”

Hunter’s heart skipped a beat. “No, no you didn’t.”

Wrecker looked between the two of you in confusion but then it clicked with him too and he stared at you, horrified. “Why would you do that?”

You swallowed thickly. “I thought that by handing myself in, I would be able to get the information I was needing. I figured they would have some form of intel on you I could use.” You huffed irritably as you remembered how foolish you’d been. “Turns out they were a lot smarter than I gave them credit for and they sussed out my plan pretty quickly.”

You winced as Hunter threw his helmet and it crashed against the wall. You expected no less but you needed to reign him back in if you had any chance of recounting the whole story. “That’s not staying calm.”

Hunter got to his feet and paced; his distress evident. “We were on your trail! If I’d been faster and picked our sources more carefully, you wouldn’t have had to-” Hunter seethed. How could he have failed you so badly? You’d put yourself through hell for their sake and if he had gotten to you sooner, you wouldn’t have had to have gone through this.

“Hunter, no.” You shook your head to stop him from putting the blame on himself. “The whole reason I did it was because the trail was running cold, and I was desperate. It was all on me. and I’m not done explaining this yet and it doesn’t get better, but you can’t do this. I understand and appreciate where it comes from, but it won’t help now, okay? Just let me finish it.”

Hunter clenched his jaw but did as you asked. He sat back down and nodded at you to continue but he was helpless to stop the anxious shaking of his leg.

You gritted your teeth as you prepared yourself for what you had to do next and any levity that you’d previously been forcing into your voice vanished. “Since they knew what I was and some of the general history between all of us, it’s like I said, they were aware of what I wanted, and they definitely weren’t up for giving it to me. They finally had me under their control, and they were very good at making sure I wasn’t getting away any time soon. Honestly, they were pretty creative with their methods and I’m sure some of them found doing what they did to me quite therapeutic.” That dismissive attitude slipped back in at the end without you meaning to. Frankly, you probably wouldn’t have noticed it if it weren’t for the sharp and worried looks from Wrecker and Hunter. You mentally checked yourself before you proceeded.

“Where they showed their inexperience however was when they got frustrated at how little I gave them. I don’t think they realised how hard it would be to crack someone like me. Their fists, their whips, their electrostaffs… it all hurt but it wouldn’t get me to talk. So, they went for something different, and that was what got them quite close.” You stopped again and found yourself touching the small pinprick scar as you remembered the sharp sting and then the complete haziness that would follow that would render your completely susceptible to anything they would do and say. “Whatever concoction they’d inject into my neck when they got bored or too tired from physically hurting me was nearly impossible for me to resist and that was a terrifying experience... I was having to fight my own mind while they happily watched on. That interrogator droid would enter, and- and my body would go cold with fear every time.” You paused for a chance to gather yourself and squeezed your eyes tight to rid yourself of the memories of that dark, cramped room they would take you where you were helpless to their cruelty and the last thing you would clearly recall would be the whirring of that droid approaching you.

You took another breath before you continued to speak. “That was what came close to breaking me and they worked that out. Every day they would inject me with that serum to make me submit to their words and they would tell me you were right outside. They- they would tell me that I would see- see you all again if I only told them how much I knew about Omega and where I was hiding…. And every day I would have to remind myself that it was all a lie… that you weren’t there, and I couldn’t reveal anything since that would put Lyra in danger too.” You released a shaky breath. “Or they’d try to convince me that you were going through the same thing I was and- and it was my fault and to get- to get it to stop I would have to tell them everything.” You felt a lump form in the back of your throat, but you forced yourself to talk through it. “They could beat me all they wanted but that was the thing that actually left a mark… these scars merely came with the territory.”

A troubled silence fell upon the walls of the Marauder as you finished. You picked at some imaginary lint on your leggings as a way to bring your emotions under control.

Hunter felt sick to his stomach. He could’ve saved you or made it so putting yourself in that position would never have needed to seem like a viable option. You’d needed him and he hadn’t been there. He’d let you down.

You caught a glimpse of his expression changing from anger to defeated sadness and he didn’t need to vocalise those thoughts; you were perfectly aware of what would be going through his head. “It’s okay.” You mouthed silently to him.

You shouldn’t be the one comforting him. A broken and anguished sigh left his throat. Okay? How was any of this okay? You’d subjected yourself to torture for them and had carried the burden of it by yourself for so long.

“How’d you get away?” Wrecker asked in quiet upset as he imagined you experiencing that.

You coughed and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. “Truth be told, it gets a bit blurry near the end. I…” You trailed off and frowned as you worked on accurately recalling what had gone down the day you got out. You hesitantly started your explanation again. “I remember overhearing that they were going to send me off world to a high security prison and I couldn’t have that. The trooper who put the cuffs on me to take me back to my cell was a rookie, I think he figured I was unconscious, so he used the regular ones that didn’t restrict my Force-wielding abilities. Then the dizziness and blackouts set in, I remember finding the strength to take him out, but I don’t exactly know how I proceeded from there. The next thing I do remember was collapsing outside the door to where we were living and Lyra dragging me inside.”

“Hunter?” You looked to him since he hadn’t said anything yet.

Hunter’s throat had gone so dry, he couldn’t summon words immediately. All that was racking through his head was how he could’ve prevented this and how he should’ve been there to save you. You never should’ve been the one to drag yourself out of that hellhole. The protective part of him wanted to find a way for you to come up with any identifying features that could assist in hunting down those who’d inflicted that pain on you but despite all you’d relayed to them, he was calmer now and he knew that wasn’t what you wanted. He may have failed you then, but he wouldn’t now. His focus now lay in what he could do for you now but there was an element to the explanation he was missing and once he had that, everything else could fall into place. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He murmured instead.

There was no accusation in his eyes, no pointedness or blame in his tone. You knew he just wanted to understand, and it was a fair question. “I was working on compartmentalising it; it was just going badly. And-” You stopped yourself from continuing and instead just started to back away. “Nothing.”

“And what?” Hunter pressed as he got to his feet and caught your hand before you could step away any further.

You shook your head. “It’s a stupid reason, I shouldn’t care about it.”

“Nothing you’re feeling about this is stupid. I might be able to help, you only need to tell me.” Hunter prompted tenderly as he stroked the back of your hand with his thumb.

You regarded him carefully, attempting to find some deception or falseness in his tone so you didn’t have to say it but, unsurprisingly, you didn’t find any. You bit your lip before speaking, “I didn’t want you to have to see them. They’re- they’re not exactly nice to look at.” You muttered as you dipped your head to stare at the floor.

The fact that that was even cause for concern felt like a punch to the gut but at least there was something he could do about it. He may not be able to go after the Imperials like he wanted but he could help you realise that was a non-issue for him and one that hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Wrecker, take a walk. I’ll be in touch when you can come back.” Hunter ordered his brother.

Wrecker wasn’t about to question him, so he did as he said. He rested a gentle hand on your shoulder in comfort. “Thank you for telling us.” He said before he left the ship.

You went to address Hunter, but he spoke first.

“Turn around.”

Your brow furrowed but you couldn’t deny the warmth that bloomed in your stomach at his words. “What?”

“Turn around.” Hunter repeated, his tone quiet but filled with dominance.

Despite your lingering questions as to what exactly it was that he wanted, you found yourself doing as he instructed. You could feel the heat in your stomach start to radiate throughout the rest of his body. Each steady thump of armour hitting the ground had goosebumps rising on your skin in anticipation and you felt him crowd your back and rest his chin in the space between your neck and shoulder.

Hunter kissed the sensitive spot behind your ear and as he felt you relax into him; he slowly grabbed the hem of your long-sleeved layer and lifted it over your head and dropped it to the floor of the ship. He didn’t let his eyes fall to the scars yet. Instead, he caressed the trail of goosebumps on your arms and continued to pay close attention to your neck, softy nibbling the areas that he knew would make you weak at the knees.

He could play your body so well; it was like the two of you hadn’t been parted for as long as you had been. You could feel yourself growing more and more compliant to his touch and desire coursed through your body. You only snapped out of it when you felt his touch go lower and he tugged the bottom of your vest top. You went stiff and immediately grabbed his hands in a panic. “Hunter, no. You-”

“Easy.” He soothed as he pressed delicate, featherlight kisses to the back and each side of your neck. “Trust me.” He rasped against your skin, but he waited for your signal.

You released a low, unsteady breath. You couldn’t live in this state of fear and shame forever. You trusted him with everything you had and that was why you felt yourself letting go of his wrists. Your breathing grew uneven, and your body trembled as you felt his bare hands graze underneath your vest top before, they held onto the hem of it.

“Relax… it’s okay. You’re okay now. Let me see.” He encouraged gently, only lifting when he saw you nod your permission.  

His gaze finally dipped to your bare back, and he had to fight to keep his breathing calm as he felt his heart shatter once he saw the full extent of what had been done to you. Your back was a map of merciless and vicious scars, and he wanted nothing more to take away the pain they’d caused you and inflict it on his own body. But that was the only effect they had. He was not repulsed, not repelled by the sight of them. They did nothing to ruin his physical perception of you. You were every bit as beautiful to him now as you had been when he first met you on Devaron all that time ago. “You’re exquisite.”

You refused to believe that. These were different to the scars you were both used to that came with the impact of battle and you were under no illusions as to how unsightly they were. You went to turn to face him so he wouldn’t have to keep looking at them and to protest his words, but he sensed that and beat you to it.

“These do not define you. They do not define my view of you. You are strong, you are capable, and you are a force to be reckoned with and that is why I love you.” He started to lightly touch each one. “No amount of scarring is going to change that. You. Are. Beautiful. I will be there to remind you of that whenever you need it.” He pressed his mouth to the space between your shoulder blades.  

Your body trembled under his touch and his sincerity threatened to overwhelm you. “Hunter-” You managed to choke out.

“I would tear the galaxy apart for you, if you wanted me to.” He hummed against your skin as he continued to trail his lips down your back, worshipping every mark that had been left on you so as to leave a new association with them now. “But I know that’s not what you need.”

A quivering breath left your lungs at his words and ministrations, and you knew you felt the same way. But it was because the two of you were aware of that line that your relationship worked so well- you could balance the sentiment with intent. You could feel him starting to make his way back up your back.

“So, what is it that you need?” He hummed into your ear before he placed his hands on your waist and sucked a mark over the tiny scar that rested on your pulse point.

You groaned and braced your hands on the wall that formed the entryway to the cockpit as you felt your knees buckle.

“Tell me, sweetheart. Tell me and it’s yours.” He asked again as his fingers started to dip beneath the waistband of your leggings whilst he pulled your earlobe between his teeth.

You knew exactly what it was, it was all you ever really needed. “You.” You gasped and you swore you felt him smile against your skin.

“You have me… always.”

You couldn’t hold out any longer, you turned around and crushed your lips against his with a groan and pushed him to the wall of the entrance to the cockpit. If he was taken aback by your abruptness, he didn’t show it as he matched your enthusiasm immediately, one hand coming to firmly grip your exposed waist whilst the other tangled itself in your damp hair, a desperate and eager noise leaving him as he got to feel your body press against his.

As you kissed him, your hands fisted his shirt and you pulled insistently but made no moves to actually step away to remove it, you were too addicted to the feeling of having him this way again… yet you needed to feel his skin against yours which is why you were thankful that he had enough willpower to separate himself from you and take it off himself.

The two of you breathed heavily and the air was thick with tension, but you were too focused on looking at what rested just past his collarbone. You hadn’t allowed yourself to check if he had held onto it for fear of what it could mean if it was gone, and your breath hitched. You touched the black leather cord and traced the small Jedi Order symbol on the end. “You- you kept it?”

“Of course, I did.” He softly uttered, if a little out of breath. He cradled your face in his palms. “What do I have to do to make you see what I see in you?”

Any answer died on your lips, and he passionately reconnected his mouth to yours, using your surprised gasp to deepen the kiss before he stepped away from the wall and started to direct you both down the narrow hallway to your bunk, muscle memory mapping the way as neither of you were content to separate to make the walk any easier.

A trail of clothes was left in your wake as you made your way to your bunk.

Hunter gently laid you down, his lips never parting yours before he patted your hip to get you to be on your front.

You still found yourself feeling reluctant. His beautiful brown eyes were laden with lust but there was also a deep and devoted sense of care behind them which was why you complied with his request. You trusted him.

Hunter went back to what he’d done earlier as he left delicate kisses to every scar that donned your back. What you endured was something no one should ever have to but what he could do now was make sure you knew that you didn’t need to hide them for the sake of other people- especially him- any longer. “You never have to worry about these. All that matters to me is that you’re here now, you got away, and you will never end up back there. More scars don’t have the power to change how I feel about you, nothing does. I love you for all that you are.” He planted a kiss to the base of your spine before he got you on your back to face him.

Hunter wiped away the salty tears that had escaped your eyes and nudged the side of your nose with his. “I love you. Always.”

“Always.” You repeated hoarsely as you were overwhelmed by the emotions that came crashing to the surface. You stroked back the smaller bits of hair that frequently slipped past his bandanna. 

Hunter kissed your cheek before leaving a trial of kisses along your jawline whilst his hand slowly made its way down your body to rest between your thighs.

Your legs parted for him on instinct and your hips bucked into his touch and a soft moan left your throat.

His voice took on a low purr as he moved his fingers. “Here’s how this is going to work: I am going to tell you everything that I love about you which you are then going to repeat and… if you don’t…” He stopped and took his hand away as he saw that familiar expression on your face, and he couldn’t help the slight smirk that tugged the edges of his mouth as that expression turned into an affronted pout. “I stop.”

Your eyes widened at the very clear implications of what he had in store for you.

“Or this doesn’t have to go any further and we stop now.” He offered sincerely.

No, you didn’t want that. It had been too long, and you needed him like your lungs needed oxygen. You could do this. You nodded your consent.

Hunter angled his head to press his lips against yours before he started to move his fingers again, hungrily swallowing your appreciative gasp. He kissed you passionately, not in any rush to stop right now. He parted from you and took a second to appreciate the throaty sighs that left your mouth at his actions, the way you bit your lip and the slight wrinkle on your brow as you grew closer to your release. He’d missed being able to see you like this, but he was relishing the opportunity to relearn and do all the things that made your body contort in pleasure. “You’re beautiful.” He exhaled in complete awe.

You were so caught up in the pleasure radiating throughout your body that you had already forgotten his plan and you were too put out by the feeling of your climax fading away to recall where your side of the bargain came into it. “Hey-” You cut yourself off as you saw the expectant expression on his face and then you remembered what you had to do to get what you craved but that doubt was still there, and you felt awkward doing it. However, the reassurance and trust that also rested on his face saw to it that you did as he said. “I- I’m beautiful.”

 Hunter bowed his head with a supportive smile before he carried on, the sound of your groan was like music to his ears. “Despite all that’s happened… all that we still have to do… you always find a way to make me smile.”

You were in a state of total euphoria and therefore failed to fully comprehend that he’d said something else. It was only when you felt him pull his hand away and the emptiness that followed that brought you back to the current situation. With a whine, you spoke again, “I- make- make you s- smile.” You ground out as you moved your hips in tandem with his touch as you chased your high.

He let you have your first climax, pausing to let you come down from it. Once your breathing evened out, he went again and kissed you before muttering against your lips, “You’re smart.”

“I’m- fuck.” You were too distracted by seeking the next release you were longing for to remember to respond, and you cried out in irritation as he stopped just before you reached it.  

“Almost.” He crooned into your ear.

As frustrated as you were, you got your bearings and whispered, “I’m smart.”

“Good girl.” He praised, a grin on his face as your breath stuttered at his words, before he continued, curling his fingers in the way he knew would send you over the edge and sure enough, your hips lifted as your release crashed over you and a gratified moan sounded from you. However, he didn’t stop, he worked you through it and said, “You’re caring.”

The process got easier and began to feel more natural. You slowly started to understand that clinging on to that part of your past had made it impossible to fully come back. Keeping yourself hidden and refusing to acknowledge what you’d experienced had made it difficult to fathom that he could still want you this way but each affirmation from his, as silly as you’d initially felt at doing what he said, was helping cement the idea that you may not be able to change or fix what you’d gone through, but it didn’t have to control you anymore. You had a partner and family that loved you and who you adored and would do anything for. You would get through this and now you were beginning to feel like you could do it. You felt yourself believing what he was telling you. A whimper left your throat, and you could already sense that you were hurtling towards the edge again, but you repeated it. “I’m c- caring.” You said through panted breaths as you coped with the overstimulation.

“You’re doing so well.” He encouraged as he kept to his word and continued to touch you. “You’re strong.” He knew he was repeating himself, but they weren’t words he minded reiterating, and he needed you to know and believe it too.

“I’m strong.” You said breathlessly as your hands curled into the blanket beneath you as that feeling overcame you again.

He saw you through your next peak and took his hand away to give you a rest from the stimulation and simply stared at you and the blissed out look on your face. He had it committed to memory, but it never ceased to take his breath away every time.

You gathered yourself enough to smile at him. “Thank you.” You whispered as you lightly followed the shape of his tattoo. You clasped the back of his neck and attempted to pull him towards you, but he worked his way out of your grip and instead kissed the hollow of your throat before kissing his way down the rest of your body. Your head fell back as you realised his intent, but you had thought it would be time for him to take what it was he needed.

He could help the groan that left him as he finally put his mouth on you. He could get drunk off the taste of you, and it had been too fucking long since he’d had the chance to do so, and he wasn’t about to stop now.

You couldn’t help the way your hands tangled in his hair and tugged him closer to you, his appreciative growl sent shivers down your spine, but you were so sensitive, and you didn’t think you could manage another one. “Hunter, I can’t. Just-”

“One more. I know you can.” He encouraged desperately as he planted a kiss to your inner thigh, sucking a bruise into the skin, before he went back to where his attention was demanded. He needed you to fall apart on his tongue, he was addicted to it, every drop of you, every whimper that sounded from you was like his own personal drug and he would never tire of it. “You’ve been such a good girl… done everything I’ve asked for… just give me one more, sweetheart.”

That did it. Your back arched and you finished with a ruined and exhausted moan. You were completely spent but it felt so good. You barely registered him to come rest beside you, his lips pressed against your temple.

“I know that wasn’t easy, but I’m so proud of you.” Hunter murmured into your hairline as he stroked up and down your side.

You regained enough feeling in your limbs to turn on your side “What about you?” You queried, still struggling to catch your breath. You knew you would be sensitive but your overwhelming longing for him swiftly outweighed any concerns.

Hunter slowly shook his head as he brushed his lips against yours, taking them away when you went to deepen the kiss. “This was always about you.”

With each passing moment, you were gaining more clarity over your faculties, and you knew what you had to do. A seductive smile pulled at the corners of your mouth and your hand snaked down between you both.

“What-” Hunter inhaled sharply as he felt your hand wrap around him, and his jaw clenched as he fought the urge to thrust his hips into your touch. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to-”

“You said this was about me and what I need, right?” You hummed as you rested your forehead against his whilst your hand kept moving. You kept your touch teasing but just enough to drive him crazy.

“R-right.” Hunter said through a strained breath as he felt his restraint leaving him with every second you continued to touch him.

“And what I need is to feel you…” You brought your lips close to his, barely any space between you now. “Inside me.” You kissed him, tugging his lip between your teeth whilst your free hand entangled itself in his hair, the actions eliciting the depraved groan you had been looking for, and before you knew it, you were back on your back again with Hunter kissing you with a newfound fervour which you matched in kind. You wrapped your legs around him and drew him closer to you, smiling against his lips at the surprised huff that escaped him.  

Hunter kept kissing you as he started to guide himself into you. He knew you would still feel tender and was careful as he slowly moved into you, both of your breaths catching at the feeling. His head fell to rest in the crook of your neck, biting down on the skin there before he soothed the sting of it with his tongue as he started to move, heavy grunts and pants leaving his lips as he got absorbed in feeling you this way after all this time.

Your nails dug into his back, and you could feel the muscles flex beneath your fingers and a sensual sigh left your lungs as you finally felt all of him.

One thought crossed your mind amidst the fog of pleasure that was spreading over your body. You’d let go of your fear now and you wanted to look for that connection again. Before, it had marked a level of certainty of your place here and overall mindset and if you couldn’t find it after all that had happened, there was a time where you would’ve been sure that it would mean there was no true way back for you. But now you understood that wasn’t and didn’t have to be the case. If it wasn’t there, you could work to get it back.

You used the Force around you to find his unique signature again and you could’ve wept with joy as you sensed it once more and it welcomed you with open arms. It had been waiting for you. You bridged the gap between you and allowed that feeling to flow through you. I love you.

Hunter paused his movements, and he stared down at you, a shocked but delighted cry left his mouth as he saw the broad and affirming smile on your face that told him he hadn’t imagined it. He’d wanted to have that back for so long and his heart soared as he realised what this meant for you. You weren’t holding back anymore; you were officially home.

You stroked a thumb along his cheekbone before clenched around him in an attempt to get him to keep going, a smug hum of laughter leaving you at the almost pained expression on his face as he got himself back under control before he started again.

“Do it again. Please.” Hunter requested frantically as he felt himself approaching his own release.

You smiled affectionately at him and continued to kiss him as you saw him through to his climax. I love you. I love you. I love you.

He finished with a strangled groan, and he collapsed on top of you. He stayed there for a few moments before he gently pulled out of you, stroking your hair as he saw you slightly wince at the action. “I’m sorry if it was too much.”

You shook your head. “It was perfect. You were perfect.” You reassured him as he laid down beside you and held you close to him. We should clean up.

Hunter made a sound of acknowledgement as he pressed his mouth to the crown of your head. “What made you do that again?”

“I let go.” You said simply before planting a chaste kiss to his lips before taking his hands in yours and guiding him to the refresher. “Come on.”

--

“What are you thinking?” Hunter asked as he watched you pick up the wrapped lightsaber from the shelf Wrecker had put it on. You hadn’t touched it since taking it from the bounty hunter.

“I can’t hold on to or fear the past anymore. We can only look to the future now and that future has us getting Omega back. And…” You uncovered the seemingly harmless looking weapon. “I think this will make achieving that easier.” You reached for it, hesitating for just a moment before you picked it up and it was an instant reaction. You took half a step back as the sensation of feeling that connection you hadn’t encountered for years threatened to overwhelm you. Flashes of your past as a youngling and echoes of previous battles and instructions from your master sounded in your head but it wasn’t scary this time, you were merely remembering the periods where this weapon had been your life.

Hunter placed a steadying hand on your shoulder. “You alright?”

You took one long breath. “Yeah. It’ll just take come getting used to, but it’s going to be worth it. I’m not hiding what I am these days, may as well have the whole image.” You said light-heartedly.

Hunter cupped your jaw and kissed you gently, both of you sighing contentedly into the sensation before Wrecker’s hesitant voice echoed through the comms.

“Um, Hunter… I hope I’m not interrupting eh anything now but um I was wondering if I could come back? I’ve started to wander in circles and I’m getting some suspicious looks.”

The two of you chuckled.

“Poor guy.” You said with a humorous shake of your head.

“Yeah, Wrecker, head on back and we can get outta here.” Hunter replied through his comm.

“Wrecker, how’d you fancy having an excuse to shoot at me?” You said into your comm, and the intrigued but excited cheer told you your answer.

“Shoot you?” Hunter repeated, titling his head at you inquisitively.

You grinned as you clipped your lightsaber to your waist. “Yeah, how else did you think I was going to train?”

--

“That’s 15 to 11!” Wrecker whooped as you came to after his stun blast hit your back.

Fuck you. You jabbed playfully as you accepted Hunter’s outstretched hand. He tugged you to your feet.

“You’re lasting longer.” Hunter commented supportively and- knowing you would want to go immediately again- walked away to take up his position.

You wiped the dirt from your clothing and removed your mask to take some deep breaths and find your centre again. Taking on jobs, following leads, mediating and lightsaber training… that was how you balanced your time; you were feeling more like the person you had been before your world had been torn apart. You’d never be able to be her again, but you could own who you are now and allow yourself to feel the emotions you’d been struggling against without suffocating in them anymore.

“But still not long enough!” Wrecker goaded. “I’ll always be in the lead!”

You didn’t take the bait. Instead, you took off your armour, gloves, and long-sleeved top.

“Hey, wait a minute, that’s not fair.” Wrecker protested.

Hunter turned inquisitively and his breath hitched. A soft sheen of sweat graced your skin and your body rippled with strength and untapped potential… and fuck did it make his heart skip a beat and his blood run hot. He was grateful his helmet was still on because the way his eyes widened would’ve given you too much material to work with right now, but he wasn’t able to hide the way his hand slightly fumbled as he unholstered his blaster. He wasn’t embarrassed by finding you attractive in this way, the frequent teasing he’d often received for it just made it harder to focus on the task at hand.

“The training stays the same and my strategy is my own. It’s not supposed to have an effect on you anyway.” You retorted with a smug grin as Hunter’s reaction went exactly as you’d anticipated.

“You better not mess this up for us, Hunter.” Wrecker warned as he shoved his brother’s shoulder to snap him out his reverie.

You laughed to yourself as you watched them. You picked up your lightsaber and ignited it, the blue blade thrumming at your side, and you felt that rush of connection and security. Having a blaster by your side was nothing compared to this.

It was a powerful sight that Hunter never got used to and quite frankly, part of him was relieved he’d never come across you as an official Jedi General during the war because if his reaction to seeing you train and work towards unlocking whatever you had been tampering down for so many years was anything to by, he would’ve gotten himself shot a long time ago- half your earlier victories came from redirecting his own stun blasts to him.

You got into your stance and faced the two clones as they readied their blasters. “Alright, let’s go again.”

<Previous Oneshot

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @fuckoffthanos, @tpwkcalli, @graciexmarvel, @arctrooper69, @nightmonkeysstuff, @brujaporfavor, @flyingkangaroo, @sunkissedclones, @ladytano420, @keep-calm-and-drink-caf, @yyourmotherr, @xxeiraxx, @dragonrider9905, @skellymom, @lokigirlszendaya

[gamergirl-niffler]

Very very urgent emergency request! Just stumbled upon your blog after that fluffy Howl fic of yours; couldn't resist sticking around for more of your fantastic headcanons.

I recently experienced something truly awful a few days ago.. While enjoying a party with my friends, the atmosphere suddenly shifted, and I began feeling unwell. Since then, there's been a blank space in my memory. The following day, upon waking up in our shared apartment, I discovered that I must have experienced a sex*** abuse. I'm currently terrified, in pain, and enduring ongoing bleeding from my private area. Trust has become a challenge, and I'm overwhelmed, wishing I could just disappear. Unsure of what steps to take, I find myself reaching out for comfort of any, any kind.. May I humbly request comfort from Dabi, Bakugo, Enji, Todoroki, and Kaminari, along with their girlfriends, who have navigated similar challenges?

If this plea is too much, please feel free to disregard it. I deeply appreciate your writings, as they bring immense comfort to many.

Oh, my dear Anon...

I am so sorry to hear that something like this happened to you. I can only imagine what you feel right now.

Please, if you feel like you need to talk to someone, feel free to drop into my messages and let's chat a little!

I hope those headcanon will bring you at least a little bit of comfort.

Mha men & sexually abused s/o

Dabi

- Dabi is burning with anger. Of course he isn't mad at you, he is mad at the person who even dared to violate you this way.

- He should stay with you but he leaves. Of course he couldn't stay. Touya doesn't leave you because of the disgust or hate. No. He is going for a hunt! It doesn't matter if it's one or a few people... All police could find were few bodies burned beyond recognition.

- Touya returns to your shared apartment, sheds his coat and is all yours from now on. He doesn't speak a word about what happened unless you feel the need to talk about it. He won't press but will listen when you need to throw it all out. 

- He knows some doctors that aren't sketchy but at the same time they won't call the police or anything like this. 

- Even if you are scared, Touya pushes you to get checked. He of course stays with you to provide comfort and show you that you are safe with him. Touya knows you are suffering mentally but he doesn't want the physical suffering to continue if there is a way to stop/heal it.

- Back at home Touya stays near you. He wishes he could be glued to you but he understands you need some space.

- When you tell him you need any kind of closeness - he is there immediately, wrapping you in his embrace, holding you as close as possible.

- It takes you a bit of a time to open up to him. You tell him everything; and he listens to it without a word. 

When you start to cry he just squeezes you harder until you calm down. Once this happens, Touya starts to tell you, "I'm sorry, doll. I am sorry I wasn't there to protect you but from now on... I will always be near. No one will ever hurt you again. I love you and I'll make sure to help you however I can."

- And he really does it. Since that unfortunate day, Touya does everything to make you feel safe and to help you heal; both mentally and physically. 

He doesn't push your boundaries but helps you carefully move them as you heal and again open yourself up to him.

Touya never healed himself from his past so seeing you getting better even after such a scary situation makes this villain smile.

Bakugo 

- He is pissed but he won't show it openly. You went through enough stress already and his anger wouldn't help someone in your position so he stops himself from yelling.

- Bakugo doesn't immediately push you to talk. He is more concerned about your health so his first step is to convince you to visit a proper specialist. He doesn't want you to be in pain or to suffer.

When you finally agree to visit the doctor, you are going there with your blond guard dog because Katsuki isn't leaving your side. He will even fight the doctor if it means staying by your side through the visit.

- Back at home, Bakugo is completely different than normal. He is calm and quiet around you. 

- If he decides to give you a kiss, hug or simply get close to you he'll ask for your permission beforehand. Just to be sure you are comfortable with him and his touch.

- If you are on any medications he makes sure you take them, it's for your own good afterall. 

- Katsuki makes sure to provide comfort in every way possible. He cooks or orders your favorite comfort food so the two of you can enjoy some tasty food together. 

- When you feel comfortable enough to open up about what happened, Katsuki just pulls you into a tight hug. "It's okay now. You're safe and I'll make sure to get the bastard that hurt you. I'll make him pay."

- And he really does. Whenever you are asleep or busy with something, Bakugo is on his phone or computer, working his ass off to find the person that did it. He is going to make sure whoever did this will pay the appropriate price for hurting you.

- Whenever you need it, he is ready to hold you close while gently caressing your hair and back. He will talk even about the most silly thing just to see you smile just a little bit. Staying quiet is also something he is ready to do, spending time in silence isn't a problem for him.

Enji

- Enji isn't home very often so it's easy for you to hide it all and just choke yourself with this traumatizing experience.

- When he is actually back, he quickly notices the changes in your behavior. You were like a candle light; warm and happy and now? You resembled an extinguished candle... Cold and sad looking.

- It annoys him because he is really trying for you but suddenly you are all distanced for no reason! Not only in everyday life but also in bed.

- Enji finally confronts you, demanding answers from you! He is your lover, so how dare you ignore him?! Of course he is not gentle about it.

- As you reach your breaking point and admit to what happened at the party you went to, he is shocked that something like this happened to you. 

- He is not a master of comfort so at the beginning he isn't sure what to do but in the end Enji pulls you into a tight hug. "Forgive me for being so harsh on you. I'll do better."

- This is a promise he actually keeps up with! Enji is trying his best to understand your needs and boundaries now.

- He pays more attention to you, building up the trust again to show you that you can still trust him and nothing has changed between the two of you.

- Enji loves to hold you close and just comfort you when you feel bad. He enjoys cuddling your smaller frame, making sure that you feel protected.

- If you think he will leave it just like that and do nothing about it you are really wrong. He is a Number One hero and whoever dares to hurt you, now has to deal with him. Enji uses all of his contacts and influence to find that bastard. 

- He makes sure you are feeling safe and loved again.

Shoto

- Poor guy is deeply confused when one day you go completely quiet. He is worried if you made it home after the party.

-  After receiving no information from you, Shoto goes to your place to check on you. Just to be sure you are okay.

- The state he found you in was heartbreaking. His beautiful girlfriend, his little ray of sunshine suddenly being in distress and bad mental shape.

- He approaches you carefully, asking questions to find out what happened.

- When you reveal what happened the night before, he is shocked. How could someone even do this to another person?

- Of course Shoto doesn't judge you. It was beyond your control and he understands but he slowly talks you into going to the right authorities.

- Shoto goes with you everywhere to make you feel good and safe. He won't allow anyone to get too close to you.

- Back at home he is mostly quiet, letting you decide if you feel like talking or doing anything together.

- When you tell him yes, Shoto is all over you. He wants you close to show you all the love he has for you. 

- His favorite thing to do is to simply hold your hand. It gives him this feeling of intimacy and shows him you still trust him.

- Shoto's second favorite thing is holding you right before falling asleep. You look so cute and despite what happened, he is happy you are with him. "My love. I am so lucky to have you and I promise you that I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

- Like every hero he won't let it slide. Shoto will make sure that whoever did this pays for your pain.

Kaminari

- When he finds out, he is terrified and blames himself for this. He had to go with you but a sudden shift in schedulge made him go to work while you went to the party.

- He really doesn't know what to do BUT he quickly gathers himself. You need him and he is there to serve. 

- Just like others he accompanies you at the doctor and during the talk with authorities.

- Back at home Denki is really careful around you. Always asking if you need anything, making sure you are okay with stuff he does. He never leaves you alone unless you request him to do so.

- He buys your favorite snack and even tries to bake something you like. Even if he isn't the best at it, he'll try his best for you!

- You feel like watching some silly movie or show? He is there with you! 

- Or maybe you feel like just laying down and listening to some music? This dude made a playlist from all your favorite songs!

- Denki is ready to do everything to make you comfortable. Your smile is the most beautiful thing in the world and he is going to work hard for it to appear again upon your pretty lips.

- Even if he blames himself for your harm, he'll never tell you about this but instead he will do EVERYTHING he can to make you feel good again. "We'll make it work, yeah? I won't leave your side and we are going to work through it together." He always assures you with a big bright smile.

- Whoever dared to put hands on you can't sleep peacefully. Kaminari, with the help of his friends, will hunt this bastard down and bring him to justice.

[lostfirefly]

Make my coffee sweet and warm, just the way you used to lie in my arms

The idea for this fic came to me when I was sitting in a coffee shop and saw a barista with purple hair. Pain continues leading me to art :) English is not my native language, errors may occur. As always, feel free to share your thoughts :)

Buggy and Fem.Reader - Masterlist is here.

Description: You were sitting in a coffee shop for work. The barista was Buggy.

Warnings: NSFW, MDNI (sorry not sorry).

Words: 1791

Taglist: @gingernut1314, @operationroots

The title is taken from “One Cup of Coffee” by Bob Marley.

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✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

“This latte is disgusting!” You were sitting in the coffee shop with your friend. 

“It could be worse, Y/N.” Your friend said, sipping her espresso.

“Oh, yeah. This’s not coffee, this's some kind of slop.” You opened your laptop and took out a notebook. “So, what do we have with the exhibition. Look, I received some corrections from Mr. Thompson he said Mr. Monkey D. Luffy wants this exposure to stand here in the corner, and this one should be moved here. Do you remember how hysterical he threw the last time that his new exposure was not seen? I can't stand another evening like this.” You added more sugar to the cup. “No, it's impossible to drink. Wait for me, I'll be right there.” 

You slammed your palms on the table and went to the counter. There was no one behind it. 

“Hey, who's making coffee here? Hey?” You knocked on the table. 

"Why are you yelling, sweet cake?!” A tall man with a red nose, blue hair and makeup on his face came swaying from the kitchen. “I have a terrible hangover. What do you want?” 

“At least that explains why we drink disgusting coffee in the morning.” You looked at him, crossing your arms. “Do you even know how to brew it? Or did you take makeup lessons instead of barista courses? Sorry, but your crossed bones on your face and smeared lipstick look much better than the crap you served us in these cups.” 

“Fuck it. Do you have anything substantive to say? I was actually sleeping.” The man scratched his head and poured himself some coffee from the coffee pot. “It's a good coffee. So, do you have any other complaints?” He leaned his elbows on the counter. 

You growled, slammed your palm on the table again and went to your table.

You sat with your friend, discussing the exhibition, when she suddenly received a message.

“Damn, Y/N. This is Thompson. He says there is an urgent order, a certain Mr. Jinbe will be exhibiting in the central gallery. I’ll leave for a couple of hours and come back.”

Your friend packed her things, grabbed her laptop and quickly ran away. The only people left in the coffee shop were you, the clown barista and a couple of customers who came in to take their coffee to go. You carefully watched the barista, who dropped every single item he grabbed in his hands, cursed under his breath and did not behave very kindly with visitors.

The clown made two lavender rafs, practically threw the cups on the counter, took the money, and swore again as the customers left. He muttered something under his breath and headed towards the front door. You watched him out of the corner of your eye. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, watching him change the sign on the door to “closed.” 

“I’m closing the coffee shop, can’t you see it?” He muttered. 

“It's only 8 am.” You answered, looking at your watch. 

“So what? I’m already tired. Why can’t they drink coffee at home?” The clown walked along the counter, turned behind it, and took out a bottle of whiskey.

“Great. The clown locked me in a coffee shop at 8 am, and he is already drinking whiskey.” You smiled and started typing. “Make me more of your disgusting coffee, since I'm stuck with you.” 

He growled in response, rolled his eyes, quickly took a sip of whiskey and began making coffee. At that moment you received a call. 

“What do you mean you won't come back?” You asked in surprise. “Damn. Call me when you're done.” You threw the phone on the table. “Crap.” 

“Bad morning?” The clown asked, pouring coffee into your mug. 

“Not your business!” You barked.

“Easy, sweet cake! Your coffee.” He came over and set you coffee and a plate of eclair. 

“I didn't order this.” You pointed at the eclair. 

“At my expense. To smooth out your morning.” 

“Oh. Thank you.” You pushed the plate towards you. 

He sat down opposite you and took a sip from the bottle. “What are you doing?” He asked, putting his foot on the table. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Working.” 

“I understand that. I mean, what do you do for a living?” 

“Ah, I’m an exhibition coordinator.” You took a sip of your coffee and cleared your throat, “Oh my god. Did you put whiskey in my coffee?” 

“Now it's more fun, right?” He laughed. 

“You're an idiot?” You wiped your mouth with your palm.

“Oh, don't be so boring. What's your name, by the way?”

“What? Shit! Y/N. And your name? The man who pours whiskey into his coffee.” You chuckled. 

“Hi, Y/N. I’m Buggy!”  He held out the bottle to you. You looked at him for a few seconds, then took the mug in your hand and lightly clinked it against the neck of the bottle.

You took a sip of your coffee and took a bite of your eclair. “No, the coffee is disgusting. And with whiskey it got even worse.” 

Buggy took your mug, poured the coffee into the nearby flowers and poured you some whiskey. 

“I can’t drink. I’m working, Buggy!” You looked at him for a while, then pushed the glass closer and took a sip of the whiskey.

“Have a wonderful day at work, baby!” He raised his glass and winked.

He took a sip of whiskey, loudly put the glass on the table, and walked out the door into the kitchen. You were calmly typing the text when you heard a crash from the other room. 

“Hey, you. Buggy. Are you alive?” 

There was no answer. 

You took another sip of whiskey and stared at the door. You took another drink, then got up from your seat and went to the kitchen. 

You carefully looked behind the door. “Is there anyone? Are you alive? I heard a noise.” The sound of swearing reached you. You walked towards Buggy and saw him with a burnt hand.

“What happened?” You asked, approaching him.

“I took out fucking trays with fucking croissants.” 

“Do you have a first aid kit?” You asked, looking at his hand.

Buggy glanced at the box. You took out your bag of medicine and took his hand. 

“What are you doing?” He asked in surprise. 

“I’m treating your hand, idiot. Who goes into the oven without gloves.” 

“Don't touch me!” Buggy tried to pull his hand back, but you held it tightly. 

“No way. I'm stuck here with you, and I can't let the only person with the key lose his arm because of stupid croissants.”

Buggy looked at you with his green eyes, not understanding why you were showing concern. You wrapped his hand in a bandage and gently ran your fingers over his palm. 

“There you go. Just like new, huh?” You smiled and didn’t even realize how you ran your hand through his blue hair. Buggy kept his eyes on you and suddenly took your hand. You ran your fingers over his cheek and chin and didn’t realize how you pressed your lips into his. 

Buggy abruptly wrapped his arms around you, turned you around and sat you on the table.

You took off his shirt and began to unbutton his pants as he ran his lips down your neck. 

“Fuck, I've never done anything like that.” You whispered, taking off your t-shirt. 

“Me too, sweet cake.” Buggy said between kisses. 

“It's your fucking whiskey.” You ran your hands over his biceps.

“Maybe,” Buggy said, taking off his underwear and pants.

“I'll give you a bill for ruining my morning.” You said, pressing your lips against his. You felt his tongue slide between your lips. You moaned through the kiss.

“Oh, Y/N, I’ll pay you right now.” Buggy took off your skirt and underwear. You wrapped your arms and legs around him as you felt him enter you sharply in your aching cunt. 

“Fuck!!” Your skin heated up, the burning sensation flared up. 

Buggy’s lips captured yours greedily. The spark that lighted up you inside made your hips grind and reached up to run your fingers through his long hair. His gripped on your wrist and thigh tightens, pressing your thigh against his as he growls, leaking desire and sex.

“Oh, shit. So good!” You felt his teeth nipping your lips, his hand squeezed your ass and the other touched your nipples.

Buggy gripped your ass tightly, putting cock deeper in your cunt. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re amazing.”

“Don’t stop, please!” You whispered. 

The kitchen table shook from the force of him, bowls and utensils fell off the table. You threw your head back, and Buggy used the opportunity to mark your shoulders with his lipstick traces, growling, grunting, hearing your moans. 

“So good, Buggy. Just fuck me.” Your hands hooked against his back. That was all new. New sensations from the way a strange clown barista fucks you.

As you clung to him and move closer to him, you moaned against his lips as his pace quickens.

“You like that, Y/N?” He thrusts wildly, your name moaning on his lips as his arms tighten around you. Cunt tight around his cock as he hammered against your cervix, he loved the feeling of you.

“Fuck, Buggy!” You moaned his name loudly, your eyes rolled, it was hard for you to focus on anything else, only on his cock fucking you senseless. 

Your legs trembling as they tighten around his waist, your body shaking against him, nails digging hard. Your cunt clenches around Buggy's cock, feeling every curve, every vein as he fucks you harder, when you are arching your back. His lips on your neck, growling loudly and grunting with every thrust.

“Scream for me, my sweet cake.” Buggy whispered in your ear. 

And you cried out, the pleasure still comes as he fucked you. Ecstasy flew through your veins, each touch scalding you. His cock insulted your insides and your body shook and convulsed, completely overwhelmed by his power.

Buggy kissed your cheek, sighing, grunting, growling, praising your body with every hammering thrust. His hips moved faster, stuttering, your body almost completely limp in his arms except for yours still tightly gripping his shoulders and clawing.

Buggy’s thrusts became harsh, his hands squeezed your body tightly, his breathing became ragged and raspy between moans. His rough breaths, rumbling moans as he threw his head back, when he came.

Both panting against each other, pressing themselves against each other, Buggy pressed his cheek against yours, inhaling deeply to take in your scent.

“The sex was amazing, Buggy. But the coffee is still crap.” You said and kissed him on the lips.

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 2

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart… She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58), strong language, swearing, past trauma, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking

Part 2

 When you got home you were one big bundle of nerves. Your whole body was paralyzed with fear. You were in a cold sweat, you had difficulty catching your breath and you couldn't stop your tears. It was as if all the bad moments came back to you in an instant. Every loss, every pain, and fear. You managed to get into the shower and turned on the water, not caring that you were still wearing your clothes. You sat in the corner and cried.

Luckily, Teddy was with Claudia, so you don't had to worry about him.

 (flashback)

Traveling through wilderness, forests and abandoned cities was the disaster you expected. After only 6 months, of the group of ten people who left Boston, only you and Claudia remained. The rest died, either killed by a clicker, or in a trap set by other people, or from disease.

You and your friend were barely holding on either, though the journey had hardened you. But you had one more reason to fight for survival.

At first, you didn't worry about the lack of your period. You put it down to stress, small portions of food, and effort. But then your stomach started more chubby. Added to this was nausea and frequent fatigue, and when, 5 months after leaving Boston, you felt a kick inside you, you were sure.

That bastard left you not only with a shattered heart but a little piece of himself nestled in your womb.

But the strangest thing was that you didn't hate your child. Yes, YOURS. Only yours. You never thought otherwise. Joel's baby? Fuck no.

Your body fought every day for this little one's life. It was your determination that somehow prevented you from having a miscarriage.

You promised yourself that if you made it to the birth, you would give your child the love of the whole world. You will never look at your little one as a "mistake". You knew all too well the pain of being rejected.

Unfortunately, after 6 months, you and Claudia reached the "wall". Winter was approaching, you were exhausted and suddenly found yourself in mortal danger.

You have entered the territory of a people who hated intruders.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you?" snapped the woman who seemed to be the leader of the group.

You got up from your knees, put your hand on your belly, and decided to bet everything on one card.

"We don't want to be a problem. We're just looking for shelter because…" Claudia looked at you worriedly. Only a month earlier you told her about the baby. "I'm pregnant."

The woman looked at you sternly. "And you decided to risk that child's life and go on a journey."

You swallowed and replied. "I got pregnant the day before I left Boston. I couldn't have known."

"And father?"

"He's an asshole who thought a night with me was a mistake."

The woman jumped off her horse, walked over to you, and put her hand on your shoulder. "We'll help you."

Since then, Maria has always had a soft spot for you.

*

Suddenly you shook yourself. You couldn't just sit in the shower and cry. You had to fight for your son. Like you fought for him when he was in your belly.

You changed into dry clothes, prepared a meal for Teddy, and left a message for Claudia.

"I need to talk to Maria urgently. Please stay with Teddy. I'll be back as soon as I can."

*

Joel rubbed his cheek and entered the house. You didn't hurt him, but he was angry with you. What was wrong with you? He remembered how you fawned over him in Boston. You brought him cookies, you smiled at him and you were always close. Of course, the way he treated you in the morning, after the night together wasn't something he was proud of.  But he hoped you'd understand. He was drunk, you were willing.

He decided to just avoid you. Apparently, you were still a child who couldn't control his anger.

*

You found Maria in the cinema hall. You pulled her aside and asked to talk. She immediately noticed your puffy eyes.

"What happened?"

"Throw Joel out of here?"

"What?" She looked at you shocked. "You know, I'm not too fond of him, but Tommy says he's changed."

You grabbed her hand. "People like him don't change. He's an asshole... He's..."

"Y/N, understand me. As long as he doesn't do anything wrong, I can't kick him out."

You bit your lip and decided to grab your last chance. "Please, it's for Teddy's safety."

Maria raised her eyebrows. You were still in the cinema hall and some kids just started laughing.

"Let's go to my office."

You nodded your head and followed her. During your conversation, you didn't notice that Ellie was standing behind the pillar and she heard your whole conversation.

*

Ellie burst into the house shouting, "Joel!"

He came out of the kitchen and asked, "What happened?"

He could see that the girl was nervous, and that automatically alarmed him.

"That bitch, who lives next to us, wants to kick you out."

At first, he wanted to scold her for what she called you, but the second part of the sentence caught his attention too much.

"What are you talking about?"

Ellie repeated your entire conversation to him, and he grew angrier with every word. You crossed the line and he wasn't going to forgive you. And he had no idea who was Teddy you mentioned.

Finally, he put his hands on Ellie's shoulders and said, "Relax. After dinner, I'll go over to her and explain everything. If that doesn't help, I'll talk to Tommy. In Boston, she was in love with me and now she's getting revenge for me staying with Tess."

*

You came home with a heavy heart. You told Maria everything in detail. She stated that she hates Joel, but it's still his past, and she promised Tommy that she wouldn't punish Joel for his past sins.

You were devastated, but you understood her at the same time. When you got home you were greeted by Claudia. She looked at you worried. You didn't have to tell her anything. She spoke first.

"Teddy is already asleep."

You looked at her gratefully and wanted to cry. Sometimes you felt like you didn't deserve a friend like her.

"Thank you."

She nodded and grabbed her jacket. "Drink something strong and try to forget this dick lives next to you."

You sighed and fell onto the couch. "This will be difficult."

"At least try!" she screamed before closing the door behind her.

When a few minutes later you heard a knock, you were sure that Claudia forgot something. You opened the door without hesitation and paled at the sight of Joel's angry face.

"What the fuck are you thinking?!" Joel stepped inside and you stepped back. "I know you were talking to Maria! You must be acting like some little bitch who didn't get enough dick! You went to bed with me knowing I was in a relationship with Tess! What did you expect?! That I'd give you a plastic ring the next day and we will play family?!"

You were so shocked that instead of shoving him out and slamming the door shut, you just stood there and cringed. And suddenly a tiny voice behind you made Joel shut up, and you took a deep breath.

"Mommy?"

You quickly wiped your tears away before turning to him. Your son was standing in only pajamas. He was hugging a teddy bear to his chest. You could see that he was scared. That asshole's screams must have woken him up. You smiled at him and knelt in front of him, completely ignoring Joel's presence.

"Teddy, baby, what happened?"

The little boy sniffled and asked, "Why is this man shouting? Will he hurt you?"

You ran your hand through his brown curls and shook your head.

"This man... He's just talking too loud. I soon finish talking to him and I'll come over to hug you." Teddy didn't look convinced so you added, "And I'll bring you some warm milk with honey."

The toddler nodded and you kissed his cheek and waited for him to leave.

All the while, Joel stood silently, staring at the boy. He looked like a little copy of him, and for a second he wondered if he was his father, but dismissed it. He didn't know what happened to you when you left Boston. Anyone could be the boy's father.

You regained your confidence. You quickly got up and walked over to Joel, pushing him towards the exit.

"Listen to me, asshole," you hissed, but not loud enough, so Teddy can hear you again. "Yes, I talked to Maria because you're not a good person. For God's sake, Joel, you know it. You've done terrible things and you will continue to do them. Look at you. You come in here and yell at me. You call me a bitch and…" You took a deep breath and rubbed your temples. "You don't think you've done anything wrong to me? Hmm? So think about it, would you like someone to treat that young girl, who is under your care, in the same way as you treated me?"

"Don't bring Ellie into this," he growled.

"I won't if you stay away from me and my son."

"Okay," he muttered, and without further delay, he turned and walked away.

As you closed the door, you felt your legs shake, but you couldn't break down. Your son needed you.

*

As soon as he entered the house, Ellie immediately asked him: "Did you show that bitch where she belongs?"

"Don't call her that," he muttered.

The girl seemed clearly surprised. "Why?"

"Because I'm asking you to."

"As you wish," she replied and shrugged. "But what's next?"

He sighed heavily and held the bridge of his nose. "Just avoid her. She won't cause us any trouble if we don't cause her trouble."

"Okay," she moaned dramatically. "You softened, Joel."

He smiled and shook his head. "Possible."

*

Joel's problem was that avoiding you wasn't easy at all. By some coincidence, you two always left the house at the same time, even if you changed your hours. You passed each other in the stable and in the dining room. You always looked away and pursed your lips.

You hated it, but over time you just tried to accept it.

The most important thing was that you somehow managed to keep your sweet son away from that monster.

*

Joel was moody as he entered the stables. He was on patrol with Barbara again and... To put it mildly, he hated her. The woman was about forty years old, a tall, slim blonde with a mouth that wouldn't close. She was gossiping about everyone and worst of all, he noticed that she was trying to hit on him. Every chance she had, she touched his knee, shoulder, side... He always shuddered at it and wanted to growl at her to fuck off.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice the running boy, who hit his legs and fell on his bum. Joel immediately noticed tears gathering in his big brown eyes.

"Shit" he muttered under his breath and nervously looked around searching for "mother bear". You weren't anywhere around, so he knelt down beside the boy and offered his hand. He stroked the child's head. "Sorry Teddy, I didn't notice you... You're faster than a horse."

The baby boy looked at him surprised and with his help got up. "Really?"

Joel smiled. He didn't want the boy to cry. He had to comfort him somehow. "Sure! Fast as lightning. You're a fast little pony."

The little boy chuckled, his curls falling over his forehead. "Mommy always says I'll lose my legs if I run that fast."

"Hmm, interesting," he said and began to gently brush sand off the boy's pants. "What else does your mom say?"

Teddy grabbed his shirt. "That I should not talk to you."

"Teddy!" The boy immediately turned to your voice. "I was looking for you."

Your heart started beating faster when you noticed who was kneeling next to your son. You reached out your hand towards the child, wanting to get him away from this asshole as soon as possible. Your son waved to Joel and ran over to you.

You wanted to scold your son, but... He was so sweet and innocent. You couldn't blame him for being curious and open-minded like any child.

Joel slowly stood up and breathed a sigh of relief. He was afraid you'd make a fuss, but apparently, the presence of a child had a calming effect on you.

But throughout the patrol, he couldn't get the image of Teddy out of his head. He didn't listen to Barbara's chatter at all and suddenly asked, "What do you know about Y/N who lives next to me?"

The woman was clearly surprised that after such a long silence, he spoke to her. She furrowed her brow and smiled wickedly. "I think she's too young for you."

Joel winced. He didn't want to play in this game, but he wanted information. "Are you implying I'm old?" he asked resentfully.

The woman was clearly flustered. "No, I don't. That's not what I meant... It's just... Y/N has a mean personality and tends to stay away from men."

"And yet she has a child."

Barbara nodded. "Yeah, but she was already pregnant when she got here. Apparently, the father is someone from Boston."

Joel pretended with all his might that the news was not like a bucket of cold water for him. As if casually he said. "What kind of guy goes on a travel with his pregnant partner?"

"He didn't seem to know about the pregnancy. Y/N said she got pregnant the day before she left Boston, and the kid's father was an asshole."

Joel gripped the reins tighter and swallowed. "Really?" croaked.

Luckily for him, Barbara was so engrossed in talking about you that she didn't notice his nervousness. "I'm sure on 100%. I was on patrol at the time that we found her and that friend of hers. But I don't know if she was telling the truth. Maria was also pissed at her for risking pregnancy, so maybe she said that to calm her down. But I'm telling you, leave her alone, the city is full of better women."

She winked at him, but he no longer looked at her or listened. He was lost in his thoughts and wanted to talk to you as soon as possible. He had to know the truth, and he didn't know whether he'd be relieved or sad if Teddy wasn't his child. And if it turns out that he has a son ... Another child to lose.

*

You had already put your son to bed when you heard a knock on the door. You felt nauseous when you saw Joel. You tried to control your nerves and hissed, "Are you here to scare my baby again?"

"Just tell me, did Teddy is my son?"

You frozen. You felt as if all the oxygen had escaped from your lungs and you were to suffocate. You stared at him and remained silent. You knew the longer it went on, the more you convinced him of paternity. You finally cleared your throat and managed to choke out, "No..." Joel felt a mixture of relief and sadness, but just as he was about to ask another question, you added. "You're not his father. You're just a sperm donor."

He looked at you sadly and tried to find some words: "I…"

You saw how sensitive he was at that moment and decided to hit even harder. "Do you remember, Joel, I was just a hole you filled with cum. No feelings. Let it be. You don't have any feelings for Teddy. He's my son, only mine. To you, he was just a mistake."

Joel never thought that the words he said to you back then would come back to him and hit him with such force. He didn't even know what to say and just waited to see what you would do next.

"Now, to quote you, fuck off before Teddy wakes up."

And then you just closed the door in his face anyway and smiled. You didn't even care if Joel stayed at your door all night like a homeless mongrel.

You've never felt so satisfied in your life.

*

Part 1

Part 3

Taglist:   @ajeff855, @anislabonis-love,  @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi,    @i-workwithpens, @milla-frenchy,  @quality-lust  @liatome  @sarahhxx03 @creedslove @jojo-munson @pascalislove​ @sofiparallel 

[earlgarden-archived]

my will to live.

"i used to hear a simple song, that was until you came along"

ft. Dazai Osamu

synopsis. his feelings for you have always been kept private, in fear that you might disappear someday just like his old friend. One day, he realises his feelings have grown too strong, so he decides to finally take action...

warnings. mentions of suicide (barely), might be ooc?

a/n. After watching episode 11, I decided to write this to celebrate that Dazai is alive! But rip Fyodor and Sigma (or maybe they're still alive?)

The dimly lit room was shrouded in a melancholic silence. Dazai sat alone at his desk, fingers idly tracing the rim of a half-empty glass of whiskey. His thoughts were as turbulent as the storm brewing outside, each drop of rain a reflection of the turmoil in his mind.

Dazai's melancholy had always been a constant companion, until he met you. You, the one person who managed to penetrate the layers of his facade, the one who made him feel something other than despair. But Dazai was terrified of admitting his feelings, for he believed that his affection for you could only bring you pain for when he would one day leave this world... Or if you were to leave this world...

As raindrops pelted against the window, a sudden realization washed over him like a cleansing rain. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving this world, not when you were in it. The very idea of never seeing your smile again filled him with a longing so profound it physically ached.

He reached for his phone, his trembling fingers struggling to compose a message. "I need to see you. Urgently," he typed, his heart pounding with each letter he pressed.

Minutes felt like hours until your response arrived, a simple "I'll be right there" that brought both relief and trepidation.

When you entered his apartment, the warmth of your presence dispelled the shadows that clung to Dazai's soul. You found him standing by the window, gazing at the rain-soaked world outside.

"Dazai, what's wrong?" your voice was filled with genuine concern as you approached him.

He turned to face you, his normally carefree eyes now betraying a vulnerability that took your breath away. "It's you," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I can't bear the thought of losing you."

You furrowed your brow, puzzled by his confession. "What do you mean, Dazai?"

He took a deep breath, his emotions a tempest threatening to consume him. "I've spent my life chasing death, but then you came along, and suddenly, I found something worth living for. I love you, and I can't stand the idea of leaving you behind."

Your heart skipped a beat, and tears welled up in your eyes as you took his hand in yours. "Dazai," you whispered, "I love you too."

In that moment, the rain outside seemed to cease, as if the universe itself held its breath. Dazai pulled you close, his arms wrapping around you as if he could protect you from all the darkness that haunted his past.

As you held each other in the dimly lit room, Dazai would then find out that love was a powerful force, strong enough to dispel even the darkest of shadows. He had found his reason to live in you, and he was determined to cherish it, to cherish you, for as long as he could.

And so, in that quiet, rain-kissed moment, two souls found solace in each other's arms, and for the first time in a long while, Dazai dared to hope that perhaps life was worth living after all.

[claireelizabeth85]

Come home to me - part 1

This is my first John Egan fic. It's a bit of an unusual take but please bear with me. I kind of know where this is going but I need to see where my John Egan infected brain is leading me!!

John Egan x OC Female!Reader Summary: When the idea of a past life isn't just an idea or something that is only for dreams. Warnings: mentions of injury, blood, possible military inaccuracies (but I am a geek, so I've tried to do my research!)

Please let me know what you think, either in the comments or if you would prefer, shoot me a message.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lizzy had been haunted by nightmares from the past, reliving the harrowing experiences of flying during the war. These nightmares had been intensifying lately, becoming increasingly vivid and distressing.

“Red flare. I see a red flare. Get the ambulances ready!”

“Lizzy! Wake up!” Sarah's urgent voice jolted Lizzy from her torment.

“How many came back?” Lizzy's voice trembled as she regained consciousness, her eyes searching for reassurance.

“Sarah?” Lizzy blinked, disoriented, as she scanned the room. Her best friend and flatmate, Sarah, was perched on the edge of the bed, concern etched across her face.

“You were dreaming again! What happened this time?” Sarah's voice was gentle, yet filled with concern.

“There was another mission, another run and we lost…” Lizzy's voice trailed off, haunted by the memories of loss and tragedy. “I don’t know what’s happening to me! These dreams… they feel so real. It's like... when I sleep, I'm transported back to those moments. But now, being awake... I feel lost.”

Swinging her feet over the side of the bed, Lizzy headed for the bathroom, her mind still reeling from the lingering echoes of her nightmares. “Am I crazy?” She asked, her voice tinged with desperation.

Leaning against the door frame, Sarah tried to offer comfort through the closed door. “Are you crazy? No. These are just dreams. Look, I’ve been doing some reading - you know, to see if I can help. There are stories of young children, even as young as 3 or 4 years old, who have vivid memories of events they shouldn't remember. Like planes crashing and finding fallen soldiers. Perhaps your dreams are something similar.”

“But this feels different, Sarah. They’re not just dreams, they feel like memories... I feel like I know those people. I remember the roar of the planes, the mix of love and fear for them. I feel like I'm losing my mind.  Please tell me I’m not” Lizzy's voice wavered with uncertainty, her eyes pleading for understanding.

Sarah couldn’t bear to see her friend in such distress. “I’ll tell you what, let’s go.”

Lizzy yanked open the bathroom door, toothbrush hanging from her mouth, staring at Sarah as though she had suggested something absurd.

“What?”

“Let’s go. Let’s get in the car and go wherever you feel drawn to. I'm not saying you're crazy, but if it helps you cope, we'll go.” Lizzy's embrace was tight, grateful for even the smallest gesture of acceptance from her friend. She might not find all the answers, but at least Sarah was willing to try. 

As Lizzy stared at herself in the mirror, toothbrush in hand, she couldn't help but notice a faint scar in her hairline. Its presence seemed to defy explanation, appearing suddenly in the same spot she had dreamt of being injured. Closing her eyes, she was transported back to the aftermath of another intense bombing run. The memories flooded her senses, overwhelming her with vivid recollections.

The acrid scent of aviation fuel filled her nostrils as she sat on the tarmac, the chaos of the scene unfolding around her. The cacophony of voices, the urgent shouts for medical assistance, all merged into a disorienting symphony of noise. Trembling with adrenaline and pain, she clutched an untouched cigarette in her fingers, her shoulder and head throbbing from the injuries sustained. In that moment, she felt disconnected from reality, a bystander in her own body as she was ushered into a waiting ambulance and whisked away to the infirmary.

Lizzy could hear his footsteps before he came rushing through the double doors. His voice cut through the chaos of the infirmary. 

"Lizzy!" Concern etched across his features as John hurried to her side, disregarding the calls of the on-duty Matron. Reaching her bed, he exhaled in relief at the sight of her safe and conscious.

"You scared the shit out of me!" John's concern melted into teasing as he observed Lizzy, still in her white tank top with her flight suit folded at her hips. She chuckled, a mix of amusement and discomfort, as the nurse tended to her shoulder.

"Have to keep you on your toes, Major. Can't make things easy for you!" Lizzy retorted, her tone playful despite the pain. However, John's expression grew serious as he gently grasped her hand. "You weren't supposed to be up there. DeMarco should have been on that mission, not you," he murmured, his voice tinged with concern.

She flinched as the nurse finished the sutures. Collecting her equipment, she coughed quietly to get their attention. "You have 10 minutes Lizzy and then the Matron is going to come looking for the Major." Giving her thanks, the nurse drew the curtain, leaving her alone with John.

He gently brushed stray hair away from her face, his touch comforting as he cleaned away the blood. Lizzy winced when he caught the graze in her hairline.

“Benny is still recovering from the last run and I’m just as good of a pilot as any of you boys. So, I spoke to Chick and he said yes.” Lizzy’s words carried a hint of defiance, tempered by the vulnerability in her eyes. John held her face with both his hands, looking into her blue eyes, committing every freckle and now scar to memory. 

“You mean you told Chick you were flying and left before he could say no.” John whispered, a playful smirk dancing on his lips.   

"I would never presume to tell a senior officer what to do!" Lizzy feigned innocence, her tone laced with playful sarcasm. 

“Is that so, Lieutenant?" John whispered with a sly grin. "Well, I know for a fact you're not shy about giving orders to senior officers. If memory serves me right, you were quite commanding the other weekend, telling me to do all sorts of things..." Lizzy pressed a finger to his lips, a hint of mischief dancing in her eyes, as she stifled his words. A soft chuckle escaped John's lips as he noticed the delicate pink blush spreading across her cheeks. John’s mischievous tone faltered, replaced by a sombre frown as he voiced his fears. 

“Liz, I can’t… I can’t lose you.  I won’t get through this if you…” Lizzy placed a finger back against his lips and gently hushed him. “I’m alright John. I’m here, I came back, just like I promised.”

[mangowillow]

interlude: you

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: as you go through life and its fears and doubts, Jungkook is there to ground you, to serve as your anchor in a very messy tide.

genre/tags: fluff, friends to lovers, confessions under the moonlight, intimacy, falling in love

word count: 4.1k

a/n: enjoy :)

Jungkook’s knees and legs feel numb.

He has been stroking your hair, tucking in stubborn strands behind your ear for almost an hour as you lay your head on his thighs, holding a single pink sunflower that ended up resting underneath your fingers, and ultimately, on Jungkook’s knees. 

Jungkook almost didn’t make it to your family’s dinner tonight because he got caught up in a project at work. But he wouldn’t miss a family dinner unless something really urgent came up. Through the years, his friendship with you has become so strong that he’d feel as if he was dying if he let you down in any way. If anything, your anxious messages to him were something he knew he shouldn’t ignore. 

You’re coming to the dinner, right?

It starts at 7, sharp.

I’m nervous, I haven’t seen them in so long, what if they say the same things again?

Where are you? You’ll come, right?

Jungkook could already imagine what you looked like at that moment— phone in both hands, biting your lips, bouncing on your feet in small jumps. You once told him that his presence alone eased all your worries in an instant and ever since then, he wanted to make sure he was there to reassure you, to keep you company, keep you safe. 

So when he arrived at dinner, your family had already started. When your mother laid eyes on Jungkook, she smiled her most pleasant, almost affectionate, smile— a smile you yourself have never been shown. 

"Jungkook, darling, it’s so good to see you. Come sit, sit."

But instead of Jungkook sitting next to your mother as she wanted, he went around the table and sat next to you. 

Your side of the table has always been so cold. And as dinner dragged on, your worse fears came to light.

"You know, honey, you should already be thinking about how you’re going to work for the family business. One day, you’ll take over, you should know that by now."

Your father chimed in as well: Your mother is right. One day we will both be too old to run the whole thing and it’s up to you to continue the legacy your grandfather built. 

“Dancing will never make you money, sweetheart. You need to stop doing all those lessons, eventually or you’ll never be able to focus on the business.”

“You should be more like Jungkook. He’s been doing well with the merger and we all know that one day, he’ll have no trouble running the whole conglomerate himself.” 

It’s always like this, Jungkook thought. It was never fair that you were being compared to him when both your families have been good friends for years. Since he could remember, you refused to run your family’s company and he can still recall how your parents used to express their disappointment over the fact that their firstborn was not a male. 

As soon as he placed his warm hand over your clenched fist, you instantly relaxed. Jungkook rubbed his thumb across your knuckles, coaxing your fingers to loosen and once you allowed yourself to, he intertwined his fingers with your shaking ones.

Jungkook has never done that before.

You have never been more grateful once your parents were distracted by whatever your aunt was telling them because if their words dragged on a bit longer, your tears would have fallen. You were so consumed with your own inner critic telling you you were a failure and trying to control your emotions at the same time that you didn’t notice Jungkook leaning against your ear.

“What do you say we get out of here, hm?”

His voice soothed you like a calm river flowing through a gentle breeze. You look at him quite frantically with eyes full of pain and Jungkook ached for you.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I think ____ is not feeling too well. I think she needs to rest.”

Your mom didn’t blink an eye and just told Jungkook to take care of you. 

And that’s what led Jungkook and you into your childhood bedroom. 

In this bedroom, you and Jungkook spent many days and nights playing and studying. Your bedroom is witness to the love and comfort you both find in each other for years and years.

Jungkook is pulled out of his thoughts when you slightly shifted. As soon as he took you to your room, you didn’t say a word and he understood. 

“Thank you for coming,” you whispered.

“You know I always will,” Jungkook reassured.

You slowly get up and Jungkook was quick to help. You shifted your weight onto your left arm and turned to face him, fiddling with the stem of the sunflower with the other hand.

“And thank you for this,” you gesture to the flower. “You really didn’t have to.”

Jungkook gave you a soft smile as he tucked another strand of hair behind your ear. His favorite habit and excuse to touch you. “Pink sunflowers are hard to come by, of course I had to get you one.”

You give him a small smile before collapsing to your real side of the bed. Jungkook exaggerates his stretches and extended his arms with a groan. His legs do feel numb, almost painful, but he doesn’t mind.

“Will you stay the night?” you tentatively ask while looking out the night sky outside your window. Your face is softly illuminated by the moon’s light and Jungkook wants to give you the whole world.

“Of course, ____. I still have some of my clothes here, I think?”

You nod before humming, “They’re inside those drawers.”

Jungkook has no qualms with stripping in front of you. Years of friendship can do that to two people so intertwined, so connected. He takes off his pants and wears the pair of grey sweatpants he left a week ago. Almost immediately, he sees an old jersey of his from his soccer days back in college. Fondly he remembers how you always loved wearing his jerseys especially when you both knew you wouldn’t be seeing each other for a while. Lately, Jungkook also noticed how you would randomly ask him for any of his old t-shirts, telling him his fabric softener smelled so nice.

Jungkook just knows that the real reason why you ask him for his clothes is that you find comfort in wearing them and that doessomething to him.

When he goes back to bed, you instinctively scoot to envelop yourself in his arms. After he plants a kiss on the top of your head, he feels you exhale a sigh of relief, hearing your heartbeat as it calms down.

“You smell so nice,” you say, voice coming out muffled because of how your face was buried against his chest.

Jungkook chuckles and runs his hand up and down your back in smoothing strokes and circles.

“And you feel so warm, Jungkook. How are you always so cuddly?”

“It’s because I am,” Jungkook playfully replies, coaxing a chuckle now from you.

It’s in intimate moments like this that Jungkook gets to see you vulnerable and raw. You always put up a facade and a smile on the outside, but in the corners of your room or in private, Jungkook knows how you truly feel about the world. It has been a world so cruel to you and it hurts him to see you struggle through not knowing what to do sometimes. Dancing has been your one and only love ever since high school. You have never been the corporate type, you told him once. And he knows it. He knows that you come alive once you’re on the dance floor, interpreting music as you move. He knows that you value and care for people and have a heart of gold, not steel, which the corporate world ever so requires.

In your childhood bedroom, Jungkook has seen you cry and feel helpless. And it was a side you hide so well, sometimes even from him. You and Jungkook have fought countless times about you keeping things from him because he knew you didn’t like burdening other people. 

But he wants you to give him your burdens. He wants you to talk to him about what’s on your mind and what’s bothering you, no matter how mundane it is. Your stubbornness is a weapon and a weakness, he always thinks. 

Jungkook is two years older than you so when he graduated, you were sad that you had no one to rant about your classes with. Sure, you still did that with him from time to time, but the cruelty of finite time itself usually pulled you both apart now more and your parents’ incessant nagging didn’t help the situation either. Suffice to say that holding you close has been more of a liberty and a privilege for Jungkook. It has been two years since then and there isn’t a day when he feels regret over not being able to hold you whenever you need him the most.

In this space tonight, he revels in the warmth of your skin, your quiet, steady breaths centering him. 

“What’s it like out there, Jungkook?” you whisper as you slightly pull back to look at him. “What’s it like having big shoes to fill in for other people?”

Jungkook knows your fears are talking. Deep down, he knows you’re unsure, and uncertain about what the future holds because growing up, you have always been taught that you never seemed to be enough. While Jungkook tried to shield you and stand as your fortress as much as he could, his efforts also weren’t enough to fill in the empty spaces and gaps in your heart that longed to be accepted by your family. 

Jungkook sucked in a breath before answering, “I think it’s good and cold at the same time, ____. I say good because there’s so much out there to look forward to. You find your way through jobs, find what fits, meet new people, and have fun at parties but keep in mind that you have to be more mindful now because you can’t afford to be hungover on a workday, maybe you find love or you find yourself in the process. That is the hope, I guess. But it’s also cold because I sometimes feel like I trudge through life not knowing if I am doing things right. Sometimes, I don’t even have a clue what I’m doing…” 

Jungkook feels you stiffen ever so slightly, it was unnoticeable. But nothing was unnoticeable to him when it comes to you.

“And it’s okay, you know?” Jungkook assures as he runs a hand through your hair. “To not know what to do or if you’re doing things right. That’s why we live… to figure things out until we understand it and it all makes sense.”

“Hmm. That sounds nice. I wish I can figure things out fast enough.”

“You have me, ____. And we’ll get through it, together.” It took a while for Jungkook to realize that he isn’t just saying this as someone who understands you because your families are connected. He is saying this because he wants to truly be there and to make up for all his stupid mistakes in the past.

“You said maybe I can find love,” you start. Jungkook stills and he hopes you don’t notice. “Have you found that?” You finish your sentence without looking at him because you turn to face the night-lit sky once more. 

Jungkook juts his lip before tucking his arm under his head.

“I’m not sure. Why do you ask?” He says in a teasing tone, hoping to diffuse some of the tension he suddenly feels.

It took a while for you to answer back that Jungkook thought you fell asleep. “I don’t know… I mean, you used to date a lot of girls back in college so I always thought you’d find the one sooner or later.”

Jungkook tries to gauge the tone of your voice and at this moment he hopes he can see how your face moves or reacts because he badly wants to read you right now.

“I’m not that kind of person anymore, ____.” Jungkook does not know why he feels dejected at the thought that maybe you did think of him as some playboy who only cared about the body count.

“I know… I know.” Jungkook is sure he saw the ghost of a smirk on your lips. You close your eyes and breathe evenly Jungkook thought that was the end of the conversation.

But then you spoke once more and he could’ve sworn his heart fell to the ground.

“Why didn’t you ever choose me?”

“W-what?” Jungkook stammers.

He sees you slowly open your eyes, but they kept looking towards the window. You do not respond to his question and he feels a need to ease your fears, and reassure you right now that you mean everything to him. 

“I didn’t know what I was doing back then, ____… I only wanted to satisfy myself, to enjoy every bit of recklessness i could and could not afford because I knew that when it was all over, I had to endure a life of misery…” Jungkook paused to check on you. You turned your head to look at the ceiling now, your hands clasped over your stomach.

“Was it worth it?” you gently ask him.

“No,” Jungkook immediately answers without hesitation. “It wasn’t.”

“So what now, then?” you ask to the ceiling. Jungkook was at a loss for words. Despite being your best friend, he sometimes struggled to read you, because again, you keep your feelings and thoughts locked up so well, not even he can reach them. But he wants to try.

He wants to try so badly to know what you’re truly feeling because if he doesn’t, he’ll never forgive himself.

He slowly moves towards you until his lips are mere inches apart from your cheek. His eyes look up to see that you have yours closed again. You don’t move, but he can feel you breathing more pronouncedly. He allows himself to look at you this close, so peaceful, so serene. He basks in the idea that it’s only he who could make you feel calm and safe.

And before he can stop himself, he kisses you on your cheek. It wasn’t an odd thing, really. He kisses you on the cheek all the time. But this is also the first time his lips linger and this is the first time he kisses you with so much reverence and hesitation all at once.

He feels you take a deep breath, all the while keeping your eyes closed. 

“Can you do that again?” you evenly asked.

A smile ghosts Jungkook’s lips as he softly kisses you on your jaw. Ever so slightly, he moves downward, partially opening his lips to plant an open-mouthed kiss on your neck. You move and let out a sigh, tilting your neck further, telling him it was okay and you were giving him permission.

He kisses you on your neck once more, this time fanning his breath over the spot he just let his lips stay. 

“I am so sorry, ____.”

“What are you sorry for?” you ask but you still don’t meet his eyes. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t do anything for us. I… I have always wanted to come to you. I always longed for you. But I was scared, ____. I was so scared of ruining our friendship and I would never forgive myself if I ever hurt you that way. Every single day I regret not saying anything. I wish I could turn back time because, in that way, we could have had so much more.”

It was then that Jungkook realizes that the reason why you keep your eyes closed is that you were trying not to cry. As soon as the words left him, a tear slides down the cheek he just kissed. 

“Please don’t cry, ____. I don’t like seeing you cry…” Jungkook whispers and pleads.

You finally open your eyes but kept them towards the ceiling.

“It’s time we can never get back, Jungkook.” You slowly turn to face him now. “It’s also time that I will always be grateful to have spent with you.”

Jungkook tries searching your eyes for any sign, anything that will tell him this isn’t the end of you and him.

He has dated so many women over the years and in the beginning, he never thought about looking at you more than his best friend. But he also knew that your eyes, your face, your whole being told him that you wanted him. He saw the disappointment in your eyes during the times he failed to come to your agreed-upon movie nights. He heard the sadness in your voice when he called to tell you that soccer practice ran late and he had to cancel on you. He felt your longing every time you saw him in the arms of another. He felt guilty whenever he chose his one-night stands over you. 

You always tried to hide what you truly felt, but he knew.

He knew all along.

Yet in all those moments he chose to ignore that one nagging feeling that has haunted him since you were kids: his real feelings for you.

He didn’t think you deserve someone like him— not after all his shenanigans with frat parties and women. He used to think of himself as a lost cause and he didn't want to drag you into his mess. But as years went by, he ached for you all the more. And despite all his shortcomings, you never once shunned him. But he was and still is so scared.

Scared of losing you.

“I never thought I’d get to hear words like that from you,” you smirk. Jungkook thinks you’re insufferable for turning such a serious conversation into something much lighter. “I like it, though.”

“I mean every single word, ____. I am so scared of losing you.”

“You will never lose me. No matter what happens.”

“But the future is so uncertain, I don’t know if I’ll ever be enough for you, ____, because you deserve the world. You deserve so much more and everything good” Jungkook feels relief and agony in his confession. He feels vulnerable now that his secret is out.

“Well… We have the rest of our lives to figure it all out, right? You said it yourself,” you say.

Jungkook lets out a breath of relief again. You turn your body to fully face him in your dimly lit childhood bedroom. You gave him a smile as you touch his lips with your fingers. 

“Can you kiss me, Jungkook? Just for tonight?”

Jungkook feels frustration bubbling up inside of him because you could still think that all this can still be temporary. He wants you to know he’s all in on this, if you are too. He wants you to feel that he only wants to give you all of him if you will have him. 

Jungkook secures his hold on you as he kisses you. The moment your lips touch, he feels elation like he has never experienced before. He thinks about how wonderful it finally is to have you in his arms and to kiss you without abandon. His tongue slides over your lip, shyly telling you he wants more and you readily part your lips to let him kiss you deeper. You both kiss for so long that when he parts from you, he immediately wants to do it all over again even if it knocks the breath out of him. 

“Wow, that was… nice.” you tell him, giggling. Jungkook cocks an eyebrow at you and you laugh.

“Just nice?” Jungkook feigns incredulity. You giggle even more as Jungkook’s eyes soften.

“Can I kiss you again?”

You bite your lip before nodding and Jungkook feels he can now die happy.

He swings his leg over you, positioning himself until he’s now on top of you. He gently leans forward with both his hands cupping your cheeks as he looks at your eyes now full of mischief and love. He plants a long kiss on your forehead before leaving pecks on your eyelids, the tip of your nose, both sides of your jaw, and your chin. 

You giggle at his playfulness, “Just kiss me already, you fool.”

“With pleasure, my love.”

Jungkook didn’t give you any time to process the way he just addressed you because he captures your lips in his once more, this time with more urgency and fire. Jungkook licks into your mouth, allowing your tongues to touch. A few hours ago it was just your hands that were intertwined, but now that love is out in the open, bodies intertwined under the sheets, it gives an opportunity for the both of you to rock and move in sync with one another. 

Jungkook loves how responsive you are and this is just you and him making out. Your soft sighs keep him going until you’re gasping and moaning. 

Jungkook allows himself to be greedy as he runs his mouth to the side of your jaw, going down to your neck once more because tonight, he learns that kissing you there draws out the sweetest sounds from you. His lips return to your lips once more, softly biting your bottom lip.

“I think kissing you might just be my favorite thing to do ever,” Jungkook says through his pants. He sees you swallow and you give him the sweetest smile he has ever been graced with.

“I think I can kiss you all day, Jungkook. Don’t you dare stop.”

“I will never,” Jungkook utters. Your nails dig into Jungkook’s back while his hand grips tight on your waist. For the first time in so long, Jungkook feels so alive and it almost feels unnerving to have you this close to him. Body on fire, voice airy, he kisses you like it’s his last. Hearing your shortened breaths, your moans, and your gasps as he grazes his lips along your jawline makes him feel so, so alive, he regrets not having you like this sooner.

“I need you closer, Jungkook, please.” you plead.

“How do you want me, sweetheart?” Jungkook asks. He rolls his hips against you, making you gasp even more than you already were and he absolutely loves it. 

Jungkook pulls you toward him until you’re sitting on his lap, bodies flush. He runs a hand across your hair, grounding you, telling you he’s here right now, that he will be with you until the end. 

“You’re the one good thing in my life, Jungkook.” you confess.

Jungkook can feel your heart racing. He looks at you as if you created the stars in the sky and says, “You’re like the morning sun, ____.”

“Why? Do you want it to be morning already?” you turn your head to the window again.

Jungkook laughs and turns your face towards him. “No, you silly goose. You’re like the morning sun because with every day passing me by, the sun tells me there’s new hope and a chance for me to try again. I haven’t— I lack in so many ways, but you remind me that the morning will come and despite my uncertainties of the future, I can still turn things around for the better. You are my morning light, ____.” 

“Who knew you could be such a sap?” you tease, Jungkook laughing along with you and pulling you into a warm embrace.

“But the night also comes after the day. What if… what if I fail you?” you ask, your fears threatening to resurface. Jungkook quietly shushes you.

“You are also my moonlight because no matter how dark the night is, you’re still that bright light that guides me home.”

You can’t help but tear up at Jungkook’s words. He gently wipes them away.

“It took me a long time to get here, but I will do anything to make you happy and safe with me, my love. From now on, you will never have to feel like you’re all alone.”

Jungkook feels that love is redemptive. No matter how long, it will always be his saving grace.

“I love you.” Jungkook whispers against your lips. “I will forever love you.”

You let out a shuddered breath before closing your eyes, “I love you too, Jungkook. I have loved you for so long.”

Jungkook captures your lips once more into his and tightens his hold on your body. As soon as the both of you need air, you tuck your chin into the crook of Jungkook’s shoulder, trying to steady your breath. 

“You are so beautiful, my love,” Jungkook reassures you. “You are the most wonderful person I have ever met and I hope you know that.”

“I believe you,” you answer.

Under the moonlight, a love blooms. For you and Jungkook, the sun and moon will always guide you home.

[0girlblog0]

Adrianne Lenker's "anything," on her album songs, is a rushed, repetitive, urgent plea to an ex-lover, Indigo, reminiscing on Christmas Eve and hot summer days. Adrianne tells Indigo what she wants - "I wanna sleep in your car while you're driving, lay in your lap when I'm crying" - but also recognizes jealousy in the relationship, saying, "Now you get pissed, unchecked calls and messages." Her quiet, melancholy, innocent voice, paired with the floating, flowing, constant guitar, conveys the simple but powerful pain Adrianne feels in the form of a lullaby. This song is an ode to all the small pleasures of human relationships, like not having to "talk about anything," just witnessing someone's "eyes looking." In the last verse, the song shifts from reminiscing on the good and bad in the relationship, and instead, Adrianne asks, "Weren't we the stars in heaven..?" wanting to know why the relationship ended if it was as great as she thought it was. She answers her question, saying she couldn't say "the words" like Indigo did, but she justifies it, saying, "I was scared, Indigo, but I wanted to." The song is so intimate and honest that it feels intrusive to even listen to it.

This song changed how I think about love because it puts what I want so simply. The best people around you are those you can sit with and not have to do or say anything. Adrianne doesn't want anything shiny. She wants something safe and honest, which is all we can hope for in a relationship. Some of my happiest moments are just being in the presence of my friends, driving in a car, watching a movie, or sleeping next to them and just being able to know that they are there. It is nice to know that you don't have to impress them. All you have to do is exist with them.