#vae saeyoung

[marshmallowprotection]

Here's a dynamic I dont see often; we all love the classic "V route but you're in love with Ray" but what about your interactions with Saeyoung during that 2 year gap when you both you've lost Saeran forever? Is he angry in some small misdirected way that we couldn't save his brother, or is all his rage at Rika? Are things awkward for a while? Or do we find some solace in our shared grief? So many platonic Saeyoung opportunities!!

He was on the cusp of taking his life before Jumin stepped in. He had the fight of his life trying to figure out what his purpose was without his brother. It wasn’t like V told him his brother was okay.

You also think Ray is dead because you spoke to him in his “last” moments and V never told you, either. You’re both in a place in this world where you think Ray is dead and there’s nothing that can be done to change that. He’s gone. He can’t come back. There’s too much grief for the two of you to deal with in that regard.

It was far easier for him to fixate on Rika. He saw V hold himself accountable and try to do something so it’s less of an anger towards him, and more of the hatred against her. It’s why he decided to go after her instead of turning all his attention to V, or V and Rika. Saeyoung’s able to say to himself, “Rika took his life by making him hack and build a bomb, the very bomb that killed him, she’s the one that i need to get rid of.”

As opposed to thinking about V’s failure to do something in the midst of that drama.

But, why do you think Saeyoung would blame you? You were helpless in all of this. You tried to help everyone from your position. It’s not your fault that his twin is dead. He can’t fault you for something that was out of your control. You were a person dragged into this against your will and you did everything you could to do something for his family, the RFA. You couldn’t have stopped a bomb.

There was no way that you could’ve told Saeyoung what was happening on the phone and gave him some time to stop it.

The bomb was already set to explode right after the call ended. The cabin and Mint Eye are not close at all. There was no chance. Saeyoung knows that you feel survivor’s guilt... he feels it, too. If anything, the two of you get the chance to talk and grieve over this supposed loss you share those two years when there’s a chance to see Saeyoung face to face. It might be awkward at first, but he will eventually crack and come to you since he knows you knew “who Saeran was near the end.”

He needed to know what he was like.

And, maybe you need to know what Saeran was like as a kid.

[natasha-in-space]

They're ordering at Taco Bell

[pastelsapphy]

Inferno

"I wanted to bring here everyone that should get on their knees for Saeran. Me, that woman, and V..." Saeyoung Choi is not a man of mercy. He is a hellbound force of retribution with nothing left to lose. Those who hurt his brother will pay for it in blood. What if Saeyoung had brought V to the cabin too? Warnings: Major character death, murder, suicide, arson, death by fire, unhinged Saeyoung. Read on AO3 A/N: "Hey Luc, didn't you post this already?" Yes. And then I edited the post fifty times and added an AO3 link, so I wanted to make a neater post. Anyway, I wrote this at midnight because the thought wouldn't leave me alone. I wonder what Saeyoung's plan was if he'd gotten all three of them to the cabin like he'd wanted in VAE. Whatever it was, it wouldn't be pretty. And I think seeing both of the people he blamed Saeran's death in front of him... the thought that Saeran wouldn't want revenge wouldn't stop him. Not this time. The world needs more unhinged Saeyoung. Let him be angry and terrifying. I'm normally not a fan of unhappy endings, so maybe a miracle happens. Maybe Saeyoung ends up with a cool scar to match his brother's. Maybe not. Who knows.

There is an old clock in the cabin. Saeyoung isn't sure how it still works--it's not like anyone who comes out here is about to change the batteries or anything. Yet it works, filling the tiny wooden building with a steady tick, tick, tick as the seconds go by.

It's fitting, really. It's as if the universe is counting down the minutes. How many more does he have? Maybe it's only a few. Perhaps as much as an hour. Certainly not much more than that.

Tick, tick, tick.

He had already sent Vanderwood outside. Well, forced them out might be more accurate--they could tell something was wrong with Saeyoung. Of course, they knew about his brother by this point; they knew he was going to grieve, and grieving people do weird shit to cope. And Saeyoung is a weird guy to begin with. But something was just... off. It was a feeling in their gut. Something snapped in that kid's brain and Vanderwood wasn't keen on leaving him to his own devices.

"I'm not leaving you by yourself so you can do something stupid," Vanderwood had said.

"I know exactly what I'm doing, Vanderwood." Saeyoung did not shift his gaze away from the cabin's other two occupants. "It's in everyone's best interest if you wait outside."

"I told you I'm--"

"Get the fuck out!" Saeyoung snapped, briefly looking away to shoot a glare at the other agent.

Vanderwood had been momentarily stunned into silence. They yelled at Saeyoung on a regular basis--the kid had caused them so many headaches over the years--but never had Saeyoung snapped back like that. He would make smartass remarks, god knows he was full of them, but he never yelled. If he had ever been truly angry with Vanderwood, he had never shown it.

There was a long silence, broken only by the ever-present tick, tick, tick of the old clock. Then, Vanderwood had sighed and stood from their chair. "Fine. But if I think you're about to do something that will endanger both our lives, I'm coming back."

"You don't have to worry about that. Just wait outside, Agent."

Something about the way he said that sent a chill down their spine. Maybe it was his tone, now constantly laced with barely-restrained rage. Maybe it was the fact that he called them Agent. Maybe it was instinct. But after another moment's pause, they stepped outside the cabin. They reached into their pocket for their cigarettes, only to find them gone, along with their lighter. Must have left them in the cabin. By the time they turned around to check, Saeyoung had already latched the door behind them.

So now it's just the three of them, three people tied together by one unbreakable thread. Three people who weren't human anymore. Three monsters. Three killers with blood on their hands. The worst kind of scum, all responsible for taking the life of an innocent--someone too kind and pure for this world.

Saeran may have been the one to detonate the bomb that destroyed Magenta, but the three who sit in the cabin--Saeyoung Choi, Jihyun Kim, Rika Kim--are the ones responsible. They all killed Saeran. Saeran's blood coats their hands and would never, could never, be washed away.

Tick, tick, tick.

V, ever the mediator, is the first to break the silence. "Luciel--"

"Why?" The word tears itself from Saeyoung's throat, finally pushing past the lump of rage and guilt that threatens to strangle him.

"I'm sorry, Saeyoung," Rika says. "I'm so sorry for everything that happened. If I could go back, if I could trade my life for his--"

"You have no right to say that." Saeyoung spits, standing abruptly. "You have no! Right!"

Rika falls silent, her hollow-eyed gaze dropping to the floor. Saeyoung hates it. Her demeanor only angers him further. How dare she play the victim? Maybe the 'it's all my fault, I'm the worst, I deserve retribution' thing would garner sympathy from other people, but not Saeyoung. He, in fact, wholeheartedly agrees. It is all her fault. She is the worst person in the world. She does deserve retribution. The same goes for V and himself.

"Luciel--" V tries again.

"And neither do you!" Saeyoung's venom now turns to him. "Don't you dare say anything about sacrifice. It means nothing. It won't bring him back. It won't change what you did to him."

Tick, tick, tick.

"I trusted you," Saeyoung says. "I. Trusted. You. You promised me--you swore to me that you would protect him! How could you--" his voice cracks. "How could you do that to him? Saeran was good. Saeran was innocent. Saeran was kind, and gentle, and he deserved to be loved. But you--you--"

He lets out a frustrated noise, unable to turn his thoughts into words. His mind is nothing but a loop of rage, rage, rage. Rage and vengeance and shame and guilt.

"You killed him," he finally growls. "Both of you killed him. And... so did I. Every one of us is responsible for what happened to him."

"Luciel," V tries again. "We--" he sighs. "Please, Luciel... if anything, do not blame yourself--"

"How?" He snaps. "How?! I trusted you both to look after him. To care for him. To treasure him. And instead, you manipulated and brainwashed him. You tortured him just like our mother did." He feels a twisted sense of satisfaction at the pained gasp Rika lets out, as if she's been stabbed through the heart.

Saeyoung decides to twist the knife further. "Actually, you were even worse than our mother. At least she never lied to us. We knew from the beginning that she only wanted us to get money from our father, that she never loved either of us. But you? You lied. You promised to protect us, to help us. But in the end you were just the same. You gave us hope only for your own selfish needs.

"Saeran spent every day of his life living in fear while you beat all the kindness and gentleness out of him.

"And you--" Now he speaks directly to V. "You did nothing to stop her. Fuck all your excuses. I don't care about your sacrifice. You were only ever concerned with her. You were only ever protecting her. If you had really wanted to protect Saeran then you would have saved him from her. You can martyr yourself all you want, it won't make you any better than her."

Tick, tick, tick.

The air in the room shifts abruptly. It's charged, thrumming like a livewire. The explosive anger evaporates in an instant; it's replaced by something far more terrifying.

"All of Saeran's killers must be held responsible for what happened," Saeyoung says. His anger is no longer a raging inferno. Now, his anger is like ice. It's calm, now. No less intense, but calm. As if he had long ago decided a course of action.

Tick, tick, tick.

Saeyoung crosses the room and reaches for something behind one of the chairs. He wonders, briefly, what his brother's last moments were like. How did the bomb detonate? Had Saeran simply pressed a button and ended it, or was he forced to sit there and listen as a timer counted down his last minutes on Earth?

Tick, tick, tick.

Rika does not react, but V's eyes widen when Saeyoung lifts a large, red plastic canister from behind the chair. "Luciel, what are you--"

Saeyoung unceremoniously upends the container in the middle of the cabin's main room. The liquid quickly soaks into the carpet and the wood flooring, and the heavy smell of gasoline fills the room.

Tick, tick, tick.

"Luciel! Wait, let's talk about this--" V has risen to his feet, but freezes when Saeyoung pulls a beat-up zippo from his pocket.

"Talk?" Saeyoung says, laughing. "Talk?! You had years to talk, V, but you stayed silent and let Saeran suffer. The time for talking has long since passed."

Tick, tick, tick.

He flicks the lighter open with a small metallic clink.

"Saeran wouldn't want this," V tries. His half-blind, once-honest eyes are wide and desperate.

"Don't you dare speak his name!" Saeyoung shouts. "You don't deserve to say his name."

"Please--"

"It doesn't matter anymore what he would have wanted."

It's then that V notices the tears running down Saeyoung's cheeks, the tremble in his voice. Had he ever seen Saeyoung cry before?

"He's gone. And he's never coming back. And those responsible need to pay for it.

"Heh... you know, this is the first time I wished I could get into Heaven," Saeyoung continues, voice breaking. "Just for a few minutes. Just long enough to apologize to Saeran. For everything. For not being able to protect him. For leaving him. For being a terrible brother. For betraying him. For failing him. Beg for his forgiveness. All of us should."

Tick, tick, tick.

Saeyoung lets out a low chuckle. "Knowing Saeran... he would probably forgive us. Not that any of us deserve it. So perhaps it's better this way."

Tick, tick, tick.

"Take your revenge, Saeyoung." Rika's voice is hardly above a whisper, yet it seems so loud in such a small space.

Tick, tick, tick.

Saeyoung lowers himself to the ground, thumb on the wheel of the zippo. The gasoline soaks into the legs of his jeans. His head feels light, and he's not sure if it's from the fumes or if it's a weight lifting off his shoulders.

Tick, tick, tick.

"You wanted us all to be a family, right?" He says.

Tick, tick, tick.

"Then let's go to Hell together."

Tick, tick,

Click

Tick--

BOOM.

[anas-tasiaa]

We used to be close,

But people can go,

From people you know,

To people you don't.

[asterjennifer]

Mark

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Pairing: Saeran & Saeyoung (& V)

Word count: 2,599

After so long apart, it was inevitable for them to me again.

He resigned to the idea that's been feed to him. However, his other half isn't exactly thinking the same.

The moment they stood together in front of the big doors forced his heart to swell up into his throat. The wodden color of warm brown reached his consciousness only in vague shapes, he couldn't really focus on a specific detail on the door. He stood as straight as a candle; unsure how to approach the entire situation.

“Do you need some more time?”

Jihyun's voice was soft when reaching out to the younger man beside him, stiffer than he'd like to admit. His voice was welcoming, warm even the moment he noticed his distress, however, he only shook his head.

“No, no… I am okay. Let's go inside.”

Mint colored hair fell forward after Jihyun titled his head to see his face better; much to his displeasure. He breathed through before rocking back to his heels for a second, taking in more air. It would be fine and it's nothing that's having business leaving his heart to almost hammer out of his chest.

The two, big hands on his shoulders caught him off guard. Turned with ease in order to be face to face, and Jihyun looked at him the way he'd done quite a lot lately. Fresh determination inside his shining eyes that paired ever so well with the new found calm he'd claimed over time. Yet a honest expression of strict feelings that kept his face wrinkle free.

“I mean it, Saeran. If you feel too nervous then we can go in a little later. This small amount of time won't do anything.”

He hushed his racing brain one more time. For a moment he's speechless, wondering how often that actually happened over the short years he spend alongside his old guardian. It's not that he's not wanting to see these familiar faces, it's everything evolving around them. He didn't know what's changed about them specifically. He sighed when closing his eyes, reaching up to put his hand over Jihyun's.

“I'm okay.” He promised firmer. “Please… Just go in first, that way I have a second to process my surroundings.”

Jihyun kept his eyes straight as if trying to see through his soul for any particular lie. But Saeran meant it; he's ready despite his nerves threatening to snap. The older one took in a deep breath, patting his shoulder much too gently and finally letting go of him.

“Okay then. Let's meet them.”

Without another exchange of looks or words, Jihyun grabbed the doorknobs and turned them open. The noises of the party broke through immediately and the atmosphere did a one-eighty considering the smell of food, drinks and people hit forcefully. The lights inside the big hall lightning up the main floor brightly, a little too bright in Saeran's opinion.

He blinked at the pain it caused, lifting his hand up out of reflex. He didn't expect to find so many people in the room, he'd suspected perhaps hundred. Two hundred maximum. But this easily could've been a doubled number of faces, it caused his hands to shake from the pressure he's suddenly finding himself under.

“Don't worry.” Jihyun's voice reached out between the million others.

Saeran watched how he offered his hand in the middle of public. The smile lingering on the older one's face between doting and considerate, could be both at once for all he knew. It's embarrassing given some of the strangers already turned their attention to the scene he's involved in. Although it's maybe childish in some sense he's unwilling to see, he took Jihyun's hand tightly.

It's an instant reassurance that he's not alone right in the heat of the moment. Jihyun had strangely developed this trait of providing him his hand when seemingly overwhelmed. Not that Saeran complained, it's a nice gesture of care. It's difficult to get used to regardless. He's more than grateful though, it's not something somebody has given to him that openly before.

Jihyun began to lead them through the mass skillfully, like he knew exactly where to go. The people's voices lingered in his ears as the shimmer of the stage at the right side of the room kept attacking his eyes. The red curtains fit perfectly well to the red carpet running along the entire floor. The walls a golden touch, exactly like the lights and pattern in the ceiling.

He felt out of place by how fancy everything appeared. It's not quite right he was going across this hall. This very building he'd sworn to tear down one day, bury the dust deep into the ground right next to its occupiers. Days became blurry afterwards and now it could be laying back centuries ago, on the other hand it's just yesterday where he thought of demolishing it all.

“Wait here, Saeran. I will announce your presence as soon as I spoke to them.”

Fuzzy feeling, he thought to himself. His own steps came to an standstill, Jihyun let go of his hand altogether and suddenly he stood by himself behind the stage inside the darker part of the party. Ironical, a little fainted voice in the back of his head mumbled, quickly he suppressed it.

He peeked around the corner due to his insatiable curiosity. His hand against the wall's burning and he's certain the place itself is already flaming independently. But finally he could see them all in the very center of their successes.

Jaehee and Jumin stood with their usual professional attitude when discussing something that must've been important as usual. Yoosung and Zen lending an helping hand since the blond college student carried a list of his own. They looked… carefree. Happy. But there were two faces that had oxygen pressed out of Saeran's lungs right away.

She's present, too. He'd not seen her in what felt like an eternity. Eternity? Eternal...? The memories bubbled up to the surface when seeing her smile beam underneath the artificial light. She wore a pink dress, exactly how she did the day she arrived at Mint Eye two years ago. A lot more fancy today, of course. Her hair's braided back, showing the every inch of her face which hadn't changed in the slightest.

She was still pretty. Still the girl owning positive vibes, lovely attitude with her hands always being busy in some way or another. He'd not expected to feel his cheeks get warmer at the sight of her; especially now where the issue at hand wasn't his territory to play in. She's not the only face leaving his knees to wobble, though.

That red hair of childhood struck harder than prayed; the string of bitterness rose into his mouth. He wore these glasses he didn't even need in the first place. That happy suit in a lot more brighter shade than any of the two ever preferred. They both liked dark clothing most. It's true, his brother was an adult now. Simultaneously he's stayed the boy that he'd been since forever.

So many feelings woke up in a single second, just watching them laugh, speak and interact that easily with each other's concerning. They acted as themselves without a care in the world to play pretend. The RFA truly reminded of a close family.

“I've been waiting for this moment.”

Jihyun told her, to which she gazed back in confusion at first. Not long after her face shifted into pure shock, all their reactions were similar when thinking about it. Saeran's hand on the edge of the wall had strengthen the grip drastically until the tips of his fingers turned whiter than his skin.

No, he couldn't do this. Seeing them this way, peaceful and complete, where's his right interrupting this for the countless time? V assured he's wanted numerous times throughout their recovery together. Telling him they were searching, praying he survived in order to meet. Was it true?

Right there in the shadows of the greater good, far away and known by only the cloak of invisibility, he was home. All his life he's spend time in the dark by himself. There was too much light that it burned his retina, the warmth of the room letting sweat run down his back uncomfortably. This wasn't his home in the past, it wouldn't be in the presence and never be in the future.

The urge to turn on his heels and run until his body broke down filled his veins. He couldn't meet them like this, they shouldn't see him. He remembered well what exactly he'd done to the members of the organization and no matter how much time passed; this couldn't be his life. It implied so much happiness. That's nothing he's confident believing in. He couldn't be that happy without consequences.

“I have a news many of you wouldn't have expected – I'd like to introduce a new member of the RFA.”

Jihyun's tone of excitement tore him from spinning thoughts circling around his head. His body took a step back due to fear; he's aware what's about to happen. He didn't want it. He could not want it.

“I should have discussed it beforehand with the rest, but time was not so gracious with me.”

The short hint of a chuckle made Saeran's stomach sink. He couldn't smile at them if they were to find his presence soon. Should he shake hands with them? Apologize for all the destruction he'd done? Be silent and simply stand in the corner like decoration? He didn't know. Unconscious, his scar itched until he scratched it slightly.

“A new member...? But he did not discuss anything with us..” Jumin questioned.

Yoosung followed with a suspicious hint to his voice. “I think my skin is crawling right now..”

He swallowed, it's not that easy making out their words despite the short distance. People shut their mouths one after another; he's feeling the tips of his ears pulse the longer he was conscious of his body. He pressed a fist out of pure helplessness against his chest, hard and tight.

“Please give a round of applause for our newest member.”

And suddenly people were actually clapping. Saeran knew they're waiting for him, his mind went completely blank when acting on auto pilot, coming forth from the wall into the lightened side of the party hall. A variety of eyes staring holes through his tense limbs; there's not a single thing on his mind other than staring back.

He grazed the RFA, not one without wide eyes coming back. However, the second he met the ones oh-so very familiar, he's stuck in a slow motion. Saeoyung stood right there in front of him, mouth hanging open it what he assumed to be bewilderment.

“Saeran!!!”

“..!?”

It scared him to the bone. Hearing his own name being shouted by a voice he'd never imagine would even remember his existence. His ocean colored eyes widened in a different kind of shock as his older twin brother urged forward clumsily.

“You're Saeran, aren't you? It must be you!”

He yelped way too loud, way too emotional. His amber started getting wet once the tears reached the corners. Saeran felt torn, unable to keep his eyes at one point of the other's face. Exactly like before, he was left speechless. The hug that followed only added oil to the flames. His arms shot up instinctively; out of unwell emotions he'd rather forget about.

“You're alive. Thank you so much for being alive.”

The hug's strong and content, the grasp of his brother something he's sure he couldn't ever escape. His body continued to have grown a few inches taller than him, a little bigger than him, a little healthier and stronger. Nonetheless, Saeran wasn't sure who of them was weaker in that second.

“...See? I told you there is nothing to worry about.”

Jihyun tried talking to Saeran, affirmation of that kind he's not yet used to. He started shaking from head to toe, then. That scent knocking him over internally, reminding him of the ice cream under the sunny sky they shared in the past. That weird unconditional love he gave up shamefully quick.

“It must be you. Say something, Saeran...”

He pulled back to take him by the upper arms, for a brief thought he worried Saeoyung would shake him. Instead he stared in obvious desperation. What could he say? What should he say? It's luck he's standing on his feet right now and didn't fainted in the middle of the charity event.

“Saeran. It feels like you'd go away if I hold you. Don't go away! Don't you ever leave me now!”

God they pierced through deeply, each and every single world of that stupid man across from him. He shook his head slightly; unable to think of anything or find an action that could prove he's not mentally absent. Saeoyung's torturing stare finally broke away because of Jihyun, who stood behind him with the rest.

“Thanks, V. You have my gratitude for eternity.” His voice slipped at the edges.

“You saved my brother, didn't you?”

Jihyun's warm smile twisted into a painful one. “…I'm sorry I hurt him in the first place.”

He only received half of their conversation, busy scanning his other half closely. The last time he had seen his brother's face that up close was...

“.. You remember me. Even though my face is like... what it's like now.”

The second the meaning fell over his lips, he felt stupid. Supposedly should've said something touching or real for the thick air to finally dissolve. Saeyoung's head snapped back, eyebrows rising as high as they could as his grip tightened to the point of edging on hurtful.

“What are you talking about? Of course I remember my brother.”

Why did this hurt so much, but at the same time got this immense weight of doubt and shame falling down his shoulders in featherlight manner? Why did hearing that connection coming out of the other's mouth had him want to cry his soul out of his body? Why was he cursed to be melancholic even in the moments of true happiness?

“Let's never part again. Now let's stay together, safe and sound.”

Saeyoung pulled him into another hug, almost more aggressive then the one previously. Saeran this time managed laying his arms around his brother in return; to actually take hold of him after he's been unreachable for years. An emotional flame right there underneath his skin, immeasurable in comparison to a wildfire.

“...Saeyoung.”

There. He said the name out loud. A name so very conflicting to his heart. Going from the most precious word, to an insult to his faith and back to something soothing. The looks of the other RFA members filled to the brim with empathy, sadly Saeran didn't realize. He registered his own tears that ran down his cheeks, becoming more and more the longer he held his brother.

“It IS you...”

Feeling the nod, Saeyoung buried his face into the crock of his neck. The shaking of his shape unmistakably a sign of a silent cry with which Saeran was more familiar with than enjoyable. Instead of thinking over past memories, he gave the tears a pass since they're liberating. Hugging back and hiding into the suit of his older brother, mimicking his doing, almost too close to breathe properly. Yet neither could care one bit.

They stood there for mintues inside each other's arms. Hours? He didn't need to know. All he needed was to internalize the fact he finally go back the one thing he's been craving all his life. Looking for, fighting for in the first place. Crying out for endless times.

His family.

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

I know it was posted literally a year ago, but I just wanted to say that I really loved "things you said when you thought I was asleep." Such good fluff for our overlooked boy 🥹

oh my goodness has it really been that long? it has :0 sure doesn't feel like it lol

thank you so much for letting me know, that's really sweet🥺💖 I'm glad you liked it!!

SE Saeran deserves so much love, happiness and peace, guy's been through it q-q

[space-kitten-606]

Hey Kitten! How are you? Is life treating you well?

You said I could ask you stuff and so I wanted your opinion on something.

If you have played V's After Ending then I think you will remember this scene in his Forgive ending. V was mia for about 2 years without any contact and Saeran was thought to be dead by everyone for those 2 years until V brought him back.

When everyone arrived to the party, Saeyoung obviously still distraught about Saeran's apparent death was surprisingly obsessing over Champagne........ to an abnormal amount..... WHICH IS INSANE BECAUSE HATES ALCOHOL! He has stated many times that he does not drink! due to his childhood trauma instilled in him by his alcoholic mother! He was always afraid of becoming the kind of adults his parents were. So he was scared that smoking or drinking would make him like them. And also because he didn't like it in general. But then in VAE he was acting so weird..... it felt so wrong to see him like that...!

When I was talking about this in reddit, someone said that Saeyoung might have become an alcoholic in the two years due to his brother's death. Seeing this was like a blow to the stomach for me because it was actually plausible. It hurt me so much to think that he started obsessive drinking as coping mechanism :( but it was very probable knowing how much his brother meant to him and how much his guilt must have been eating him from inside... However I'm still a little skeptical about this too because it seems kinda far fetched for him and there's no way the others didn't notice it before.

Now this leaves us with another possibility that Cheritz simply screwed up their writing..... which is also highly likely seeing how inconsistent their writing is. But if this is really the case then that makes me very disappointed. This was a very emotional moment for Saeyoung and they just completely disregarded such an important aspect of his character? Like Wtf-

Either way it doesn't make me feel any better. So I wanted to know how you interpreted the scene.

I'm sorry this became some kind of a rant :") Thank you for reading this and I would like to hear your thoughts if you feel like it ♡

Okay so I am finally answering this lolol

I see why it would seem like a big mistake in writing at first, but honestly I think it is subtle story telling.

So in essence, the answer you have gotten on Reddit is correct. It's really just directly reflected in V's route, but you're right. He does say while you're at the cabin

"You know I don't smoke or drink."

As an answer to Vanderwood offering him a cigarette. A very little detail. While we have plenty on insight on his childhood in his own route, it is never directly mentioned there that he is so opposed to it (which is not necessary because it's a no brainer tbqh).

So yes, I do think they did that on purpose. You see, Saeyoung is suspicious about the hacker you tell him about from the very beginning, to the point that he directly asks you to tell him if you see anyone that looks exactly like him.

He has a very strong hunch that the unknown hacker is his brother, which is already a pretty bad blow to him. And then, even though he tries his best to convince the hacker to switch sides, he finds out that he blew himself up and, in essence, that his efforts were futile/too late.

He failed his only purpose in life - to protect Saeran. He is convinced that it is somehow his fault that the whole situation ended in Saeran's "suicide".

Saeyoung was in unbearable pain before, but now he also blames his brother's death on himself. The very person he dedicated his entire life to. He can't handle the pain and resorts to numbing himself with the use of alcohol. And knowing him, he hates himself even more for that, because now he's even more like this terrible woman (his mother), which makes him spiral even further.

Thus, in V's AE, it is heavily implied that Saeyoung is suicidal. This is pretty much spelled out to the player in the beginning of the game, while they discuss Saeyoung's strange behaviour with Yoosung and Zen.

In Saeyoung's mind it is like this: he has nothing left to live for. So what does he do? He kidnaps Rika, and takes her to the abandoned cabin. He'd prefer to also get ahold of V to gather everyone that is involved in failing Saeran and "end it all for good".

So that was his plan. He wanted to gather V, Rika and himself at the cabin, kill V and Rika and, last but not least, take his own life.

Thank god these events are being averted by the clues about Saeran's survival being much more likely than they thought it was.

I realize I kind of derailed here at some point, but I felt it was important to get Saeyoung's state of mind and the severity of the overall situation across. Because even though it is being explained in the game, at the same time I think it can be easily overlooked if you miss some keypoints here and there.

I hope the wait for my answer to this was worth it lmao also you do not need to apologize for this rant. I have seen this point being brought up time and time again, and iirc I have also explained this a couple times, even before V's AE being released and I am more than happy to shed more light on the overall situation as many times as I am asked to.

[gureishi]

masterlist

quiet in space

Saeyoung - agent-bee

Saeyoung - gureishi

Saeyoung - space-kitten-606 

Saeyoung - stardustdaemon

Saeyoung - truth-be-told-im-lying

VAE Ray - marshmallowprotection

Saeyoung, Ray - wlwantonio

give me the stars

Saeyoung - cafedanslanuit

Saeyoung - currentlyprocrastinating

Saeyoung - gureishi

Saeyoung - kimjihyun

Saeyoung - ontowanderlust

Saeyoung - quirky-and-kind

Saeyoung - starry-starry-night24

Saeyoung - welookateachotherandlaugh

GE Saeran - agent-bee

bright like you

Saeyoung - gureishi

Saeyoung - ontowanderlust

Saeyoung - quirky-and-kind

Ray - agent-bee

Ray - lynettethemadscientist

GE Saeran - welookateachotherandlaugh

heart starts racing

Saeyoung - agent-bee

Saeyoung - atheneum

Saeyoung - gureishi

Saeyoung - quirky-and-kind

Saeyoung - skipplings

Ray - lynettethemadscientist

Unknown, Ray, GE Saeran - truth-be-told-im-lying

what i had forgotten

Saeyoung - atheneum

Saeyoung - gureishi

GE Saeran - wayward-bumblebee-imagines

Unknown - marshmallowprotection

SE Saeran - agent-bee

more and more complete

Saeyoung - agent-bee

Saeyoung - marshmallowprotection

Saeyoung - quirky-and-kind

SE Saeran - gureishi

Saeyoung, Unknown - wlwantonio

flowers bloom and fall

Saeyoung - quirky-and-kind

Ray - marshmallowprotection

Ray - welookateachotherandlaugh

Suit Saeran - agent-bee

GE Saeran - gureishi

GE Saeran - kexkiji

Saeyoung, Ray - wlwantonio

forever here with me

Saeyoung - mcnamedsix

Saeyoung - serede986

Saeyoung - space-kitten-606

Ray - gureishi

Suit Saeran - lynettethemadscientist

GE Saeran - agent-bee

GE Saeran - michiigii-writes-mysme

GE Saeran - trash-apocalypse

dream absurd dreams

Saeyoung - agent-bee

Saeyoung - iwatobifuturefish

Saeyoung - michiigii-writes-mysme

Saeyoung - quirky-and-kind

Saeyoung - skipplings

Suit Saeran - marshmallowprotection

Suit Saeran - truth-be-told-im-lying

GE Saeran - iwatobifuturefish

Unknown - gureishi

even in the dark

Saeyoung - atheneum

Saeyoung - currentlyprocrastinating

Saeyoung - my-love-is-eternal

Saeyoung - quirky-and-kind

Saeyoung - welookateachotherandlaugh

Suit Saeran - gureishi

GE Saeran - cafedanslanuit

SE Saeran - marshmallowprotection

SE Saeran - truth-be-told-im-lying

Saeyoung, Saeran - agent-bee

how to be free

Saeyoung - iwatobifuturefish

Saeyoung - mammonprotectionsquad

Ray - iwatobifuturefish

GE Saeran - egbertdidthewindything

GE Saeran - kimjihyun

GE Saeran - marshmallowprotection

GE Saeran - truth-be-told-im-lying

Unknown - agent-bee

Saeyoung, GE Saeran - gureishi

Saeyoung, GE Saeran - quirky-and-kind

contributors

@agent-bee @atheneum @cafedanslanuit @currentlyprocrastinating @egbertdidthewindything @gureishi @iwatobifuturefish @kexkiji @kimjihyun​ @lynettethemadscientist​ @mammonprotectionsquad​ @marshmallowprotection​ @mcnamedsix​ @michiigii-writes-mysme​ @my-love-is-eternal​ @ontowanderlust​ @quirky-and-kind​ @serede986​ @skipplings​ @space-kitten-606​ @stardustdaemon​ @starry-starry-night24​ @trash-apocalypse​ @truth-be-told-im-lying​ @wayward-bumblebee-imagines​ @welookateachotherandlaugh​ @wlwantonio​

bonus art

quiet in space - @dailysaeran

even in the dark - @nanoko-aishino​

Thank you for writing, thank you for reading, thank you for celebrating.

Happy birthday, Choi boys. ♡

[doridoripawaa]

if catboy ray bites you, it’s a love bite and you’re fine.

if catboy suit bites you, it’ll hurt, but you’ll be fine.

if catboy unknown bites you, he’s probably rabid -- you’re not fine.

if catboy ge saeran bites you, it’s a playful bite and you’re fine.

if catboy se saeran bites you, saeyoung has probably treated him -- you’re fine.

if catboy vae saeran bites you, you’d better pet his head and apologize for ever getting in his way.

[westeros-rp]

Even in a grand palace her life still seemed a mess, Vaemera had been woken up early, not from a desire to but from horrible dreams. Muddled messy dreams of things she hoped weren’t visions and just her poor brain’s way of tormenting her further. To be safe she wrote down the details of her dreams in a separate journal from her visions that she would be plagued with during the day. Tucking both in a hidden compartment of the large decorative cedar chest at the base of her bed. Hopefully, no other soul would ever come across them, unless she presented the journals to them herself. She was already aware of the many whispered rumors of her at Kings Landing, she didn’t need anyone coming up with solidified proof that she was mentally flawed. 

She wound up watching the sunrise from the window in her room, wrapped up in the cloak of her deceased husband, petting the soft white fur of the massive thing to soothe herself as she dreaded the day ahead of her. Her father had already instructed her that she was to dress in her best, as lords and ladies from across the land would be in kings landing and he was hoping she’d catch the eye of one of the unmarried lords. So she could be whisked away again, to a place she’d probably despise. She got lucky with Waylon, and she only realized the full extent of that luck when he had died. Waylon had allowed her so man freedoms, had loved her unconditionally, and provided her with her precious son Nikolai. Who knew what sort of individual she’d be forced into a marriage with now. Her father would likely assure it would be a lord in need of an heir, her father was all about giving the Targaryens as many ties to other families as possible, anything to help his brother and the throne. Vaemera was nothing but a pawn, well at least that’s how it always seemed to feel. She was sure past her father’s steel-plated facade that he cared for her, well she knew he did, but sometimes it was so hard to tell.

Her handmaiden Helena pulling her out of her trance, Helena helping her dress as they discussed their plans for the day. There was only one thing she was excited about, and sure she knew it was something she should be ashamed of, but what could she say, Sae was a very skilled bard, in many ways. It was fun to plan certain things. Helena soothing her further by diving into chatter, Vaemera simply nodding along and listening as the older woman braided her hair and pinned it in a decorative manner. Sometimes she wondered what it said about her that simply having someone chatter in her ear comforted her. 

Silently telling herself that she’d try to have a good day, most of the time her good days consisted of a good book and the company of her friend Janne, sometimes Vae swore that Janne was the one thing the fate had given her that would never sour. The one thing she liked about being in Kings Landing is that Janne was here, as well as friends she had previously made in her life. Though Aedric hadn’t had much time to waste with her lately, as she left her chambers she told herself that she would see if Aedric would like to go for a ride later this week and that she would find Janne and find a quiet corner for them to waste there day reading in.

The first few hours of her day were spent greeting lords and ladies her father had instructed her too, having presented her with a list she had memorized the week before of individuals he wanted her to focus on. As much as she hated playing this role she knew she had no other one to play. Maybe by chance, she could actually find a decent lord that her father would also approve of. Once she had finished this task she had retreated to one of her favorite places, a set of tables laid out on a balcony that most people seemed to forget existed. Of course, she wasn’t alone, her two guards Sebastion and Dorian by her side, she didn’t understand why her father insisted on her having them. Did he really think someone would want to harm her? Probably, she was sure there were souls wanting to slit her throat solely for being a Targaryen. Unfortunately for the two men, she was quite good at slipping away from them, which was exactly what she was plotting now. 

Dorian was lounging in the door frame the usual look of sheer annoyance on his face, Sebastian stood tall and ready on the other side of the door. Sebastian the dutiful soul he was took everything seriously, Dorian was his own brand of dutiful, he tended to take everything with a heaping teaspoon of salt. She felt a bit bad for Sebastion as he was far from his home in Kings Landing, having been born and raised in White Harbor, she knew for a fact that Dorian was happy to be back at Kings Landing. Seeing as he was rather unhappy when Vaemera married Waylon and her father told him that he was to go with her and continue his duty as her guard. As constantly irritated as Dorian was he was a good conversationalist, plus she often found herself giggling over his and Sebastion’s constant catty banter. 

Setting her book down she decided it was time to put her plan into action, letting out a series of coughs she was not surprised when Sebastion quickly turned to her with a look of concern. Continuing to cough she waved him over, Sebastian moving quickly to her side.“Sebastion, my throat is feeling quite strained, can you please go to the kitchens and get me a cup of tea.”Vae spoke flashing him a wide-eyed pathetic look, “Yes, of course, I’ll be right back.” Sebastian said scurrying off as if he had been given the most important task of his life. Dorian scoffing, “Lady Vaemera, you know that fool gets lost every time he goes in search of the kitchens.” Dorian spoke, Vaemera feigning a look of surprise, of course, she knew this. “Well then, I insist you hurry after him and help him find his way,” Vaemera spoke tilting her head slightly she watches as his eyes narrow. “I insist.” she spoke once more putting on her best do as I say expression, Dorian pulling a look of disdain, “We’ll be back soon, do not stray far,” Dorian instructed her before quickly making his way off the balcony as well. 

With her guards disposed of, she quickly rose, taking her book and making her way off the balcony as well, feeling a bit giddy, she had told Sae to meet her in one of the nearby towers. Usually, she tried to keep her bard by her side, but her father had asked her to allow him to perform for some of the guests. Saeyoung was a beautiful musician it would not be fair of her to horde them. Now Vaemera had never been one for flings, and affairs, having been devoted to her husband completely and very insistent on men not touching her in her youth. After all her father had made it clear that she should keep her maidenhood for her husband unless she wanted to be branded a whore. But, she was allowing herself to enjoy Saeyoung in more ways than one, she couldn’t claim to love them, but she did adore them. She was sure most would label her a whore for such things, so she was very careful about how she went about them. It was only between the two of them. 

She regretted a bit picking a tower to meet him in, knowing it probably hadn’t been the easiest for him, and maybe wasn’t so easy for her as she took the steps hurriedly and found herself out of breath when she finally reached the top. Was she that out of shape? Letting out soft huffs she briefly rested before moving into the room of the tower. Looking about, “Saeyoung?” she whispered out hesitantly, moving over to the large window that gave you a large view of the rest of the castle. Memories of more innocent days fluttering to the forefront of her mind, recalling many days spent sitting on the tower floor reading over books with Aedric and trying to teach the crown prince how to dance with his clumsy large form. Even with how much she hated Kings Landing she did have good memories in certain spots, mainly focusing on her cousins, brothers and of course Janne. Yet this place just seemed to call to the blasted visions that plagued her, and if there was one thing she truly hated about her very being it was them.

[marshmallowprotection]

it’s 2am and i need my daily dose of angst

what are the most angstiest hcs you have for the choi twins? like genuinely heartbreaking ones

TW; Eating Problems, Emetophobia, Body Insecurity, Survivor's Guilt, Life Attempt / The Explosion, and the expected past-abuse warning for the Choi twins.

Ray physically recoils and sobs whenever his red roots start to come back in. A part of him is happy to see it because he thinks he may be able to have his original hair back someday, someday when all of the things his Savior told him are in the past and it's revealed that all of it had been a misunderstanding. He wants to believe that he'll be happy with Saeyoung again.

It's an overwhelming moment, but it's over just as soon as his fingers touch the vibrant red.

It burns.

It burns like he's been sent to Hell, and he screams. "Not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair!" Images of lies burn through his mind as the worst of the worst begins to settle in. Every vicious lie Rika told him tangled in with the images he's seen of his brother in the RFA, laughing, having fun, and living a life without him that he promised he'd never lead on his own.

Ray was abandoned, forgotten, and left behind.

This red is wrong.

This face is wrong.

These eyes are wrong.

This body is wrong, wrong, wrong—

The bleach burns his scalp before he has time to process what he's doing. He doesn't care how he removes the color, just that the color is removed as soon as possible, and that's why there's traces of pink in his hair... it's not intentional. It's what he misses every time he tries to stripe the color from his head. He always misses a few spots, and it's a damn wonder his hair doesn't look more patchy, but frying the color out of his scalp makes the bad feeling go away.

Until it comes back, of course.

Suit Saeran makes the sweetest of desserts. He makes them so he can stare at them just like he did in his childhood memories. The cake you saw in the dead of night when he mocked you? That cake is what his Mother used to make a mockery of him when he was hungry and all he had to eat was old slices of white bread. He hates white bread... he hates it so much because it tastes like the driest crumbs he had to eat to survive alongside Saeyoung.

You want to know the worst thing about salivating at a treat you're not allowed to have? You want it. You still want it even though you've been told you'll never be able to have what you want. You want it so bad that you'll run over every scenario in your mind to find a way to eat the smallest dollop and not get in trouble for it.

If you've spent a long time staring at something, you've imagined every scenario in the book to get into your clutches... and do you want to know the worst thing about those treats Saeran made to "taunt" you? He didn't eat them, either. He didn't eat the sweetest strawberry cake... he couldn't. Because, he remembers what it felt like to have food after denied for a few days after being brought to Mint Eye.

...And when he stopped screaming, they brought him food... and in that variety of food was a meal that anyone who was starving out of their mind could only dream of. You know what happened the exact second he took a bite of the sweetest thing on the place? It... tasted wrong. Every time he makes this particular treat, it tastes like poison. So, not only was he tormenting you, he was tormenting himself, that cake ended up on the floor because it tasted WRONG.

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

MINT EYE IS WRONG.

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

VAE Ray spent a few days in the rubble. It's a wonder he was able to survive in the first place. Jihyun had an operation to save his life from the elixir AND the stab wound. He was in the hospital for at least two to three days, and the only person who could've found him happens to be the same person who brings him out of the country to heal and recuperate for two and half years.

Can you imagine what it felt like to be in the rubble of a building you intentionally destroyed? To lay there for hours as the ash, soot, and God knows what else floated in the air all around you? To know that you can't do anything right, that you can't DIE RIGHT, and all of the people who promised they'd never leave you—left you?

To be unable to scream out for help because your lungs feel charred, to be unable to move because your entire body has been scorched from one side to the other? What was the meaning of your life? All you can do is lay there in the rubble, sobbing, because you can't get up, and every time you fade in and out of consciousness, you think it might be for the last time and maybe you'll be at peace next time and not wake up.

Or, maybe you are dead and this is just the hell you deserve to be in because you were never good enough for heaven, that's what you feel the longer you stay there... and you know the worst part? When Ray is found by Jihyun, it's not relief he feels, it's anger and fear, because he thinks Jihyun was sent there to mock him, bringing him false hope to believe he wasn't abandoned, but also fear, because part of him really didn't want to die but he saw no other option.

And underneath all of that?

Relief that feels like delusion because someone came back for him but it feels like it's too late to save his life.

SE Saeran doesn't sleep well at night. He lashes out, he kicks, and he screams. He has night terrors about Mint Eye. He has nightmares all about that place no matter how far away he is from that building and what it did to him. He has episodes where he wakes up and thinks he is back in his office, trembling, shaking, and his body pushes him to look for his desk to start working as soon as possible because he isn't in the mood to be punished again.

Nothing can stop these episodes, and while he is getting therapy and doing better during the daytime, nothing stops his nightmares, and it does keep him from sleeping with his possible partner. He has to stay in his own bed, possibly even his own room, while you video call each other from other sides of the house, and as painful as that is, it helps him feel safer than he would if he were to hurt you during one of the episodes.

God, you want to know the worst ones?

It's when he wakes up, screaming, and he has no choice but to sprint into the bathroom his brother built into his room to help him feel way more in control over his environment. He's sick, and once he's able to pull himself away from the toilet, he spends the next half-hour trying to burn his hands to remove the sticky feeling of V's blood from both of his hands.

He's trying to remove the feeling of Saeyoung's blood away from his hands, too. He has flashbacks about that day all the time, thinking his brother is dead and V is dead and it's all his fault and he needs to get rid of the blood because it feels wrong, and he's wrong, and he's just a PAWN WHO NEVER MATTERED BECAUSE—

RIKA SAID SHE WANTED HIS BROTHER. NOT HIM. SHE WANTED TO USE SAEYOUNG. NOT HIM. "USE" HIM. IT WAS NEVER REAL. IT WAS A LIE.

ALL A LIE.

Saeyoung can't stop looking over his shoulders no matter where he is. He can't stop looking. It doesn't matte where he is. He has to have a full view of the room he's in, and that means he spends his time on his phone looking for camera feeds and other means to control what he can in his environment. It's nice when he's in his bunker because he has a defense system and cameras all over the place. He's ready for war if it comes to that.

But, it's a horrible way to live your life, isn't it?

To be afraid and know that this paranoia you experience isn't just some fear you have that has nothing to warrant. His paranoia has a reason to exist and it doesn't matter when the party's over and his Father is out of the picture. He pissed off a lot of people during his years in the agency, and until all of those people are out of the way, he can't stop being afraid of losing his life, or being the reason why his loved ones lose their.

He has nightmares, too.

He wakes up in the dead of night, searching for the modified tablet on his bedside table, and he can't breathe until he checks the feed to make sure that nobody's come in or out of the house. Saeran doesn't mess with the system. In fact, SE Saeran doesn't want to touch any technology anymore, so Saeyoung never has to worry about his baby brother sneaking out or tampering with the system to leave.

But, still, he has to CHECK EVERYTHING.

Twice.

God forbid his MC left the room to get water and didn't leave him something to show they would be right now before he could check his system. I think you have to help him implement a system for his fears. He knows it can be overwhelming, he knows that most of his requests or fears come across as controlling, and God knows he is trying his best to be better about this, but... for his peace of mind, it's nice to know you left a plush or an object on your bed to say, "I'm just in the other room. Don't worry."

...He can't stop thinking about the damn near week he spent in that humid, agent-infested warehouse. His paranoia got that much worse after that experience. That's the nightmare he wakes up from most of the time if it's not about his childhood. That's what sets him off to be paranoid for the rest of the night. The fear of being cornered with not a single weapon to protect himself.

God forbid it happen to you or Saeran, too.

[marshmallowprotection]

I haven’t played this game in forever so I kind of forgot everybody’s personality (I just remember how much I loved them lol). But, would Saeyoung hold any negative feelings toward V’s MC? I do remember what happened with Saeran and the mint eye and his disappearance afterward so I was just wondering

Saeyoung thought his brother was dead for two and a half years, and for all intent's and purposes, Jihyun never once mentioned to the MC that Ray was alive.

So, they believe he is dead after what happened. It is V's choice in hiding that reality that bothers me the most about his After Ending, because I can understand why he thought it was for the best but at the same time, I wish he would've confessed and tried his best to do things differently.

I know he understood that Ray couldn't be around his brother because the months of manipulation have made him sick at the sight of his twin brother, but there was a better way to handle that in this situation... and that's something that pains me when I think too hard about it. V implies that he's taking care of something in his letters to the player, but he's so vague about it that unless you really try to read between the lines, you'd miss it.

MC and Saeyoung in V's After Ending actually strike me as people who're close friends. Saeyoung tells MC about his brother before he had to leave him behind... and MC tells him about the hacker they knew. They fill in the pieces of his life together and try to find peace and catharsis that way. They help each other see the larger picture! Sure, is it painful? Of course.

But, that's the only way they have to make peace with what they've experienced. I don't think Saeyoung would ever hate V's MC because they bonded so much during those two years. They didn't know and he didn't know. They had that experience together, so like, after that boy charges forward to hug his brother, I imagine you want to launch at Ray for a hug, too.

Saeyoung appreciates that you were a good part of his brother's life, and that you tried to show him kindness even when he was suffering. That matters more to him than anything else.

The game may not show it but it's what I believe.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hiiii! How do you think a first encounter between Saeyoung and Saeran’s MC would go? (Not in Saeran’s GE timeline. Maybe the SE? Or VAE?)

Do you think Saeyoung would be the stereotypical intimidating/ threatening big brother? (I see that trope allll the time in different medias)

Huge question first.

SE Saeran. For him, we need to think about if he knew his MC before the cult. If they were involved with him to the point where Saeyoung and his MC would've encountered them during the route? Were they Unknown's assistant? Were they just a nameless believer? What were they to him, if they were anything?

That makes for a very important distinction! Saeyoung values people who look after his brother, as well as mean something to him. If you knew Saeran before the collapse of Mint Eye, that's going to change a lot of the narrative and the way Saeyoung responds to you. Like, if you were sympathetic to his brother and tried to make sure he had a bit of food to eat, or that he slept, you're already winning Saeyoung's favor.

He knows Saeran had next to nothing in Mint Eye. So, even if it wasn't the perfect situation if you were able to provide some kind of goodness to his life, he wouldn’t have anything against you. He wants his brother to have people in his life who support him, and you can be there for him and understand things that he never could. 

If you're someone who meets Saeran by chance AFTER Mint Eye, it's likely in my mind that Saeyoung would want to meet you, but Saeran would do everything in his power to keep you away from him.

It's not that he hates his brother anymore, it's just that his brother feels like he has to parent him. Saeyoung has always felt that way. He thinks he needs to go overboard for Saeran’s sake, and it’s a sticking point in their bond that hasn’t healed.

Saeran has… little autonomy, and while that is because he and his brother still live in fear of Saejoong, there’s a multitude of other factors in that situation as well. If you met him after everything that happened, and he decides he likes your company, he wouldn't want to risk anything on you getting close to his brother. So, if Saeyoung does meet you, and HE WILL, it'll be a whole thing.

Don't count on him making you feel interrogated. Saeyoung probably ends up spying on you and Saeran, only to realize you're not working with their Dad to hurt them, you mean something to Saeran.

VAE Ray or VAE Saeran. In that timeline, we need to figure out if they are MC or not. It is important to determine that factor because if the MC is the game tester? That means Saeyoung's already met them in the time he took for him to rescue the MC and V.

Now, this MC would have to have taken Jihyun's Route in a platonic path, but that's really the only change if that's the case. Not much is different if you view V as a friend, after all. His Route has romance in it but it's more about helping him heal so he can properly romance you when he's ready to get back in the saddle.

Saeyoung had a chance to see the MC, get to know them, and even bond with them after they both are left in the dark to believe Saeran Choi is dead. I do think Saeyoung and the MC in V Route spend a lot of time together, making a timeline for Saeran Choi.

"I knew him now and you knew him then, let's figure out what we know and don't know together... to find closure," only to be stunned when he appears with V at the reunion party!

If you have the opportunity to meet him afterward, that will be an interesting conversation. Regardless of how you read this ending, be it with Saeran or Ray, or both, there is no doubt that the trauma from the explosion on top of losing their first love has changed everything.

How would you feel after knowing you couldn't get rid of yourself at the lowest point of your life? How would you feel after knowing you loved someone, and chose to let them go because you value their happiness more than your wish, only to live with the ache of seeing them smile with another person? You might not want to be around a lot of people again... other than the one you trust... and that means in this timeline, you don't leave Saeyoung's side often, do you, Saeran and Ray?

If you somehow have the luck to get close to them, there is no doubt in my mind that Saeyoung would be cautious.

He knows what happened with MC and his brother(s). He knows how much that hurts. He never wants anything like that to happen again, but he can’t stop Saeran or Ray from leaving the house or trying to make friends again. It's like a catch-22. He wants to keep them safe next to him, but he also wants them to live their own life. 

I wouldn’t put it past him to want to do a background check on you. He just… doesn’t want to risk someone’s hurting Saeran or Ray. He almost lost them once and he can't stomach losing them again. He would come around to you eventually, but God knows what it would take.

[pastelsapphy]

crying over the fact that Saeyoung holds himself just as accountable for Saeran's death as Rika and V.

god i need to unlock the rest of vae i need to see my boys reunited

[marshmallowprotection]

Snow

For @rfaromance Holiday Event.

"You know, I couldn't take him outside when we were younger if it was cold like this. There was only so much the donated clothes from the cathedral could do. It didn't matter how much I tried to layer him up, there was always a chance that he would get sick. I don't know what I would have done if he would have gotten sick and our mother wouldn't have let me buy him medication," Saeyoung said, his eyes never leaving his brother for a second, as always.

"He always wanted to touch the snow, though. There was one time when I would describe to him what it felt like and I knew it wasn't enough. He had a smile on his face because he felt like he could live vicariously through me. I hated telling him... no. It made me feel like such a terrible brother. I know I can be overprotective and overwhelming. But I was always looking out for his best interest. I always wanted to do the right thing for him."

He was cautious about it these days.

Of course, it would make sense at this point. After all, he almost lost his brother to an explosion. That wasn't easy. Now he was even more worried about something going wrong whether he wanted to admit it or not. He was in therapy to work on that. Some days were better than others, though. This was a good day, though. However, his mind couldn't help but wander to those years when they had been young boys.

The sound of childish laughter escaped Lucy, V's daughter, as she playfully hit Ray with a fresh ball of snow. Ray didn't seem to mind it. He laughed, quiet as can be, whispering something to her before she'd dart off into the snowy hills to hide from her family.

She was like their little sister, no, she was their little sister. Ray and Saeyoung didn't mind babysitting a little sister. She was cute, sweet, and spoke to her heart without hesitation. Of course, that was tough for her parents, namely V, who always seemed so flabbergasted when a child could sass back at him with such glee.

They were all playing out there. V, his partner, Ray, and Lucy. Of course, the odds were in the favor of the younger pair. Nobody would let snowball fights end without letting the child win, after all. Whereas, you and Saeyoung had taking a small break just to appreciate the scenery. It was wonderful. It was a perfect day. There was light snowfall and you could hear the sounds of footsteps in the distance. It was quiet but not in an ominous way.

It was almost an welcoming embrace.

You were happy to be a part of this little family. As Saeyoung's partner, you were swept into this right before your eyes. You knew how much it meant to him to have people this close to his family and what it meant to be trusted with this. To be trusted to be this close to the people that matter the most. Even if you were still getting to know everything about him, you were grateful that he was willing to open his heart this much. You were glad to see the snow falling from the sky, kissing his reddened cheeks as if to make him glow.

Not with a fever, no, with a glow of life unlike anything you had ever seen. His light was one you couldn't imagine going out. It was almost a miracle within itself that he had been able to keep going with such faith and passion in what he believed in. There was nothing that could put him out. After a lifetime of going through things that you couldn't even imagine, he still stood his ground. If anything, it spoke to your faith and the belief that it instilled into you. Even if things became ugly and there were those that tried to snuff out your light, as long as you believed deep down inside of your heart in all the good you knew, nothing could destroy it.

You pressed your hand atop his. "You'll never have to go back to those days. Now you and your brother can go outside anytime you want to. Even if you get sick because you stayed out all night long, there's nothing stopping you from getting the medication. The world's at your fingertips. I can't imagine what that must feel like. But I do know one thing, I know that your faith in goodness paid off. You wanted a world like this for him... and for you, and now you have it, Saeyoung."

He smiled. You knew that he understood that. He had freedom that he never had before. His brother had the freedom that he never had before. Things were ultimately going to get better the more time he had to heal. You couldn't wait to see them get better in front of your very eyes.

His fingers intertwined with yours. "This snow is the first of many I hope to share with you. That's what I want. It's my new dream."

"I'm looking forward to our future winters, too."

[anas-tasiaa]

The Day I Lost You

T/w: Death / Abuse.

Dear Saeran,

My one and only,

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there to save you when you needed me the most. I'm so sorry that I couldn't stop her from hurting you.

I came back from running an errand, and I found you lying there, lifeless. The sight of your body on the floor, with your mother's fingerprints around your neck, is forever etched in my mind. I tried to revive you, I really did. I shook you, I screamed at you, I begged you to come back to me. But you didn't.

I feel so much regret, Saeran. If only I had been there earlier, maybe I could have saved you. If only I had been stronger, maybe I could have protected you from her. If only I had loved you more, maybe I could have convinced you to leave this terrible place with me.

I'm so mad, Saeran. Mad at our mother, who could do something so heinous to her own child. Mad at our father, who never cared for us and wanted us gone. Mad at myself, for not being able to save you.

But most of all, I feel guilty. Guilty that I wasn't a better brother to you. Guilty that I couldn't make your life better. Guilty that I couldn't keep you safe.

All I want now is to be with you, Saeran. Wherever you are, whatever happens next, I want to be there with you. I want to hold you, to tell you how much I love you, and to make up for all the times I couldn't be there for you.

I didn't deserve your forgiveness. I didn't even deserve to ask for a apologize. But please, please know that you were always loved, and that I will love you forever. I would follow after you.

Wait for me.

We would be together again.

Your another half,

Saeyoung.