#vax dies but he gets better

[utilitycaster]

How Funny is it for Chetney to Die on the Next Long Rest: 3x81

look folks I've given the breakdown trackers a go but while they sometimes work, they're really more an Endgame Nein vibe, to be brought out on special occasions. But I've wanted to have something similar and so, see above.

Getting this out of the way: it's always going to be fucking funny. It's going to be sad! It's also going to be funny. Tragedy is the salt of comedy and vice versa. We can acknowledge that. This is about how fucking ridiculous it will be. As such we are moving to a Sam Reich in Make Some Noise vibes-based system, to the chagrin of people who are trying to win something. Let's start:

Hilarity Considerations:

They will be on Ruidus. This is terribly inconvenient. This is the root of all comedy, as British people and everyone in a sitcom B-plot can attest.

Ashton is the only strong person in the party other than Chetney, and Percy is back at base camp, giving us the potential for us at two Taliesin Characters having to deal with the corpses of two Travis Characters in this campaign.

I'm sure there's some kind of werewolf lore joke in here that, should he die on the moon, I will put in effort to make.

Technically I think he has been made the most famous toymaker already though it might be contingent on bringing the piece back so if it's the former everyone's going to suddenly be like OH MY GOD CHETNEY POCK O'PEA DIED? and the funeral is going to be fucking lit.

Funeral on the moon, or Mooneral.

Hey Orym! deal's null and void! That's fun!

Hilarity Complications:

who the FUCK is Travis going to play in this scenario. My vote is a Ruidusborn who broke out of the compulsion. Recovering Vanguard cultist or something.

If he doesn't get his end of the bargain that is a little sad; died before he could become immortal in the way that matters.

Matt is incredibly good at rolling with the punches but personally if he was like UHHHHHHHHHH BREAK I would NOT blame him.

Bells Hells coming back with a different person and a dead body is going to be a WILD time given that the base camp war council is already kind of side-eyeing them.

I don't mind if we don't explore Chet's backstory; the reveal was enough to provide the shading and nuance. However it would be nice if the party had enough info to try to find any nieces and nephews or similarly ancient siblings.

TRAVIS DO YOU HAVE A PERCY OR VAX-ESQUE DEATH LETTER YOU FUCKING BETTER.

Forecast: 1% chance of Chetney Death; A Bloody Bridge Too Far level of hilarity.

[unicyclehippo]

spare some vexleth? maybe? "i don't believe this"

‘i don’t believe this. i don’t believe you. you should have told us.’

‘and when was i - ow - supposed to do that? how? maybe when you were all the way across the continent in emon organising the armies, doing exactly what i was trying to do? maybe i should have - ah - told you then! can you please stop trying to make me sit!’ she growls at her helper—someone left behind by her right hand, who doesn’t deserve to be growled at, but if they touch her one more time… her growl deepens.

they scurry to the door, yanking it shut behind them to “give the tempest time with her guest” she hears from the antechamber.

across the room, vex purses her lips to keep from smiling; she’s upset, still, about keyleth’s wounds and finding out from esqoult of all people—whom vex considers an “idiotic blowhard tight-fisted hateful byblow of a rock” at the best of times—and the attack at the red centre and vax. unceasingly she is upset about vax. unceasingly, his death follows them both like feathers in their hair; he is their constant, dark companion. keyleth’s near death, however, is far more recent and unclosing wounds is a new and hellish experience that hurts them both.

anger crackles in her gut. she hasn’t the energy to shift forms but smoke curls in tendrils out of her nose, sparks smoulder in the one fist she can actually close. her other hand aches, split to bone.

‘sending stones aren’t working. our earrings aren’t working. sending—‘ she takes a moment to breathe. it hurts. ‘sending spells aren’t working, not that i have that anyway. and a bird,’ she grunts, propping herself against the headboard, ‘would take days at the very least. so tell me, lady vex’ahlia, when exactly was i supposed to tell you?’

‘i don’t know! but when you’re nearly dead, you make the effort!’ vex commands.

it looks good on her. keyleth can admit that in very private thoughts and fever dreams. maybe a death bed. she stares across at vex, who has only ever grown into her considerable beauty, and manages a shaky smile. command has always looked good on vex.

‘missed you. if that - i don’t know - helps.’

vex snorts. ‘yes, darling, i missed you too. obviously. i’m furious with you that you nearly died, oh and also we really must meet up when the world isn’t alarmingly close to being obliterated.’

‘brunch?’

‘girls day. i’ll invite pike.’

‘i thought - just you and me,’ keyleth says, trying on a flirtatious smile. it’s been a long time since she wore it last, some fifteen, twenty years. it feels weird so she stops trying. ‘ignore that. ignore me. i’m- death bed propositions.’

‘stop it. you’re not in your death bed.’

keyleth glances around the room. it’s empty, just her and vex, so she can admit, ‘feels like it.’

vex softens. she always does. she gets angry first, angry and scared, because she’s lost a lot in her time and she learned early and harder than most that the only way to stop that was to fight back with everything, anything. she does bitter and snide and bitchy and mocking better than anyone keyleth knows, but that’s because vex is better than anyone keyleth knows, and it all comes from the same heart. vex softens, and she comes to sit lightly on the side of keyleth’s bed.

‘what can i do?’

‘nothing. nothing. it’s all - there’s people helping me already. cursed flowers and potion stuff. bells hells.’

vex starts. ‘the ones who came to us? with her?’

‘did you -‘ she can move, a little. it hurts but hell, what in life doesn’t hurt? she covers vex’s hand with hers. ‘did you talk to her? i saw her - alive this time. she’s…sweet. strange but sweet.’

‘i know. at least, i thought so.’

keyleth slid her fingers over vex’s. ‘you gave her your ring.’

vex laughs, bitter-edged. ‘yes, and it made up entirely for all the shit that poor girl has been through.’

‘not your fault. it isn’t,’ she insists, when vex goes all stone-jawed and stubborn. ‘didn’t you - tell percy that? it’s true for him too. isn’t it?’

vex rolls her eyes to the ceiling. makes a wet, disgusted noise. ‘i suppose.’ after a long moment, she says, ‘how did she look? delilah’s doll?’

‘don’t call her that.’

‘my lookalike.’

‘she doesn’t look much like you,’ keyleth tells her. it’s a lie. she looks so much like vex had, like vax does in their memories. young. ‘i don’t know. they’re due back today, maybe tomorrow. stay. you can - ow - talk to her.’

vex nods. strokes keyleth’s clenched hand. ‘i’ll stay until you’re well.’

‘you’re a hero, vex. you’re needed elsewhere, i’m sure,’

‘keyleth, it’s war. the treasury is open. they don’t need me for that—they need my very expert clerks, gods bless them. i’m here with you.’ the stubborn look resolidifies. vex tilts her head in such a way that keyleth is sure her heart is about to fall right out of her split-open chest, and leans forward to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. pulling back, she searches keyleth’s eyes; whatever she finds there makes her nod, quite satisfied, and she smiles. ‘besides, your assistants are going to need a hero to keep you in bed and resting. i volunteer, as it happens.’

[pocketgalaxies]

what did you mean about laudna and ashton driving you nuts?

mmmmm. dangerous territory! for me, i mean. to indulge the side of me that don't give a fu about–

it's pretty interesting how this ep turned out to be a direct comparison between laudna and ashton and how they discover and come to terms with the idea that there is an option for them to ostensibly destroy themselves in the name of protecting/helping/saving the rest of the party

a few ppl have already discussed this with far more thought and nuance than i'm willing to put into words right now but something something both of them taking this as an opportunity to Be Useful and Contribute to the cause, blind or perhaps willingly ignorant to the fact that these people love them for who they are and that they don't need to Do Something in order to be loved - in fact, losing them is actually a far less acceptable outcome to the party than whatever reward they perceive to be gained from their self-sacrifice. which is all very sad and tragic and juicy and pulls at the heartstrings which i always love. but this is kind of where the similarities end?

laudna follows this with a conversation in which she tells imogen what she would want to happen in rather explicit terms. and when imogen responds by saying she'll do everything in her power to stop it from getting to that point, laudna says "i can accept that." the next morning, they tell the whole group what happened. on the other hand, ashton pulls fearne aside and has their own grave conversation but in more vague terms, at least in the sense that i don't think fearne picked up what they were putting down or at the very least wasn't given the opportunity to really process and respond to what was asked. and then ashton isolated the two of them from the rest of the group to undergo this transformation without their knowledge. all of which drives me nuts! to see the direct comparison in which one is so much more communicative than the other

and i don't think it's fair to say that this is a consequence of the party being poor communicators overall. it's somewhat reminiscent of vax's initial response to scanlan leaving in c1 - we don't know your mother's name because you never talked about it. aka there's a difference between ashton bringing up this desire or plan to hold both shards and everyone brushing it off/not sufficiently exploring it vs. ashton choosing not to ask for their opinions, ideas, or feelings about it because he thinks they won't let him do it. he unilaterally made the decision for everyone, which is the most frustrating part for me. they presume to know what is best for everyone, and they presume to know that this is the only option, despite being surrounded by not only some of the most powerful people on the planet but also the people who care for them the most. which he said himself: nobody will miss me when i die, given that we all die - implicitly saying that if i am the only one who dies, i know you all will miss me. so to me it feels disrespectful to them, because even having acknowledged that they care, he doesn't trust that they might have ideas for a better solution or that they might recognize what this means to him and try to help him survive it. or that they might not want to be "saved" if it means losing him. or that they might like to say goodbye.

i know many people are saying that this is in line for ashton's character, frustrating or not, which i think is true. but it feels stagnant to me. ashton has come a long way in terms of learning to care for these people but they have learned little about being cared for. and while laudna is trying to believe what others say to her (that they love her, that she's important, that she deserves life) with varying degrees of success, to me ashton feels like they have made minimal progress and/or aren't trying to make progress. they refuse to see bells hells for what they so loudly and clearly are - people who love and care for each other, ashton included. and unfortunately, 77 episodes in and coming up on a vastly important mission (the first in a while), this brand of hypocrisy (taliesin's words not mine!) and lack of awareness for the group's feelings in the name of High Risk High Reward is something i have a rather low tolerance for ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

and for the record i've been thinking about this a loooot because i know most of it is colored by my general apathy toward this character. and i understand that a lot of people who love this character are so so fascinated by and invested in what happened. but my apathy toward ashton is something that i've tried to circumvent or logic my way out of a LOT in the past few years and at this point it's kind of an immovable object. and doing mental gymnastics to try and enjoy someone that i simply don't makes everything so much worse! so i don't mean to rain on anyone's parade but these are my thoughts whether i like it or not

tl;dr the end of this ep didn't make me excited, it just kinda made me feel annoyed and crazy. sorry

[ravenquingvax]

Thinking about a world where Vax'ildan accidentally made a deal with Orthax instead of The Matron of Ravens, leading to his steady corruption.

Vax is better at hiding his possession initially than Percy was on the account that Vax's whole job is pretending to not exist so he can do things people don't usually approve of without being caught doing it.

Maybe he doesn't even realise what he's done at first, he dons the armour fully believing that it's the Matron he's sworn himself to and life goes on otherwise unchanged by this moment, ignoring the extra white in Vex'ahlia's hair and the anger Vax now harbours towards Percy, which is honestly a relief giving how they still have dragons to kill.

Then, one night, he's assaulted with a horrifying nightmare where he relives every awful thing that's happened to him.

He can feel the pain, the fear, the anger, and the grief all over again as if it was real...

Then it changes, and he's surrounded by the corpses of everyone has ever loved;

His mother, both of his sisters, Devanna, Thorn, Vox Machina, Cassandra, Gilmore, Allura, Kima, Jarett... Everyone.

Twisted, bloodied, bruised...

Glaring at him in their death...

Torn apart... Viscera covering everything including Vax.

And he's terrified, screaming for an out - he doesn't want this, why is this happening, somebody make it stop!

Then there's smoke and sulfur.

His feathered mantle is set alight and it burns, ash falling all around Vax as he crumbles.

Then there's a voice, a voice that's familiar but not.

"What would you give?"

He doesn't know what to say, what would he even recieve?

"In exchange for their safety, what would you sacrifice?"

And now he is at a loss.

Vax'ildan knows better than to make deals with a demon, or with anyone in a position of authority or power over you.

But he's scared, his sister died and they're all going to die and none of it is worth it but everything is worth them-

He's so tired. He's so, so tired.

He asks what it would have?

He sees the jagged orange glass grin in a flash of light, the chuckle dark and ominous.

Really, it's a foolish question.

Vax'ildan knows better.

You can't outsmart a demon, especially one so scorned.

(He'll relearn that lesson again some other night, atop a tower with a different demon who wears the face of a man Vax loves ever so dearly.)

But he's desperate, Vox Machina need all the help they can get and, really...

How is this any different to him selling himself to The Clasp to protect Vex in his youth?

(It's so different.)

"Keep everyone safe, never let any of them die, and when the dragons are dead, I will serve you so long as you leave them alone and free from harm."

Well, how could Orthax refuse?

A skilled murderer offering his services to a demon whose bloodlust is stronger than any man's will to remain himself?

And for something so easy?

Orthax seals the deal with a cackle, another flash of teeth that look rotten and broken, and a final message for Vax.

"A soul like yours, mine for such a small price... Like taking candy from a babe, or a babe from an unsuspecting mother."

Waking up, Vax would feel different - something has changed in his heart, and he feels much heavier and warmer than he usually does.

He smells sulfur in his more violent episodes of anger, which occur all the more frequently now, and he tastes iron in his mouth at random.

"It's the trauma, give him time."

"You'd be pissed too after holding your dead twin sister in your arms, even if briefly!"

"It's the dragons. We're all scared and angry. He's fine."

"He's not had a break in over a month, let him get it out."

Vax almost starts buying it himself, the endless excuses others give for his behaviour.

What he wouldn't give to have never made that stupid deal.

But, to Orthax's credit, Vox Machina and friends do come by an extraordinary bought of luck ever since that day.

Yet, Vax suffers for it.

He grows more distant than ever before, both thanks to his unstable emotions making people anxious around him and his guilt making him stay away.

He kills with more violence than Vox Machina have ever seen the rogue use before.

He even snaps at and bickers with those he'd normally never dare raise his voice to...

And he starts drinking more.

But somehow, it's only after Grog accidentally cuts Vax with Cravenedge and the sword shrieks in response that Vox Machina finally realises that something is seriously wrong with Vax'ildan right now.

(That and that they really must do better to look after each other if they've missed two of their members being taken over by insidious forces.)

Vax tries to run away, scared that this will void his deal, but how can he abandon Vex when she stops him in tears?...

They have a long talk, Vax and Grog both restrained with magic should anything happen, and Pike does an aura check on both men out of concern.

Grog isn't too far gone, but the effects of Sylas's sword are still clear. With Vax, however...

His once bright soul is almost entirely smothered by the black smoke that had eagerly tried to consume Percy's soul not so long ago back in Whitestone.

It's terrifying to see, especially when prior to this Vax's soul had been the brightest out of anyone else's in Vox Machina.

Vax, angry and scared, begs for them to let him go - he loves them, he wants no harm to befall them, he'll be fine.

They can't, though.

It's torture seeing Vax like this, but they're at a loss.

Orthax, pissed at them for intervening again, tries to take over control of Vax's body.

On the outside, it looks like Vax is having a seizure - his eyes roll back as he gasps in pain, his body starting to spasm.

The smoke pours out of his mouth and nose angrily, Vax choking on it and crying.

They force his body into the recovery position, watching in utter horror and fear for Vax.

When Vax coughs up blood, they all jump forth in alarm.

Then Pike casts something, so hot and bright and golden, and it punches Vax in the chest.

With a wail of agony, he falls still and quiet at last as the smoke hisses and trickles away.

They all surround Vax, trying to see if he's okay... But when he wakes up, Vax is confused.

He doesn't know where he is or what is going on. He's scared.

Vex hugs him close, kissing his forehead and telling him it's okay now - they're safe.

But when he responds with "Who are these people, Momma?", it leaves everyone in shock - Vax doesn't recognise them and thinks Vex is his deceased mother rather than his twin sister, seemingly thinking he is a child again.

Pike, having exhausted her magic, can't do anything about it at the moment and everyone is so fucking tired now.

They go to bed anxious, Grog nolonger bound by magic but forcibly removed from his sword, and they all surround poor Vax to shield him in his current, very vulnerable state.

By morning, the rogue has managed to slip away.

They all panic - had Orthax come back for him already!?

But no, he had innocently walked off looking for "Vexxy" because he can't find her.

It's heartbreaking, Vex torn up about Vax mistaking her for their mother and being worried about 'being unable to find her'.

Pike checks his aura first, happy to note the smoke is gone but worried seeing how much dimmer Vax's soul is now, before she casts Greater Restoration on the man.

Vax jerks in surprise as his mind is brought back up to the present, the half-elf starting to remember all that's happened.

Vox Machina comfort him at first as he finds himself again, but once he's relaxed they immediately barrage him with questions and "what were you thinking!?"s and "you idiot!"s

It's honestly really nice to Vax, his mind finally clear again, but once everyone gets it out of their system he answers them;

"He broke me. He came to me in a nightmare and he broke me with visions of awful things... I was scared, I just wanted it all to stop... I just wanted to protect all of you..."

Percy is immediately very empathetic hearing this, he's the only one who can truly understand what happened

the others are horrified

"I was so tired and scared... I essentially told him that he could do whatever with me if he protects all of you until we kill the last of the dragons..."

and, oh, how it makes Keyleth cry to see Vax curl in on himself and as speaks in such a soft, defeated voice...

She hugs him, tells him that any of them would have done the same in his situation.

But Pike remains firm - "Did you know? Back in the tomb?"

Vax explains that, no, he didn't know it was Orthax for a bit.

He had genuinely thought that the Matron had heard his pleas and had been kind enough to return Vex without taking immediate payment - had wondered if The Matron had been merely biding her time.

And when the nightmare happened, Vax had been in no state to identify the demon - it was only as he made the deal that he truly recognised them.

By that point, it was too late.

He admits that he had stopped caring about himself entirely...

What was another claim on him if his loved ones were safe?

Vex is understandably upset hearing her brother say this, he means the world to her.

If she lost him...

It's Scanlan who asks what it was Orthax had shown Vax exactly - "All of you, dead."

Dead by his own hand? He doesn't know. But they had been brutalised and he was sat there in the gore of it all.

None of them can blame him for making the deal he made after hearing that description.

In fact, when Vax is unable to look at any of them and hugs himself, all they want to do is hurt everyone who has ever hurt him to the point of this.

They also cast Greater Restoration on Grog and destroy Cravenedge, but Vax isn't left alone for a second.

Keyleth hangs off one of his arms as Vex holds his free hand, Scanlan and Percy flanking his back and front.

They're not letting the rogue out of their sight for a while.

He doesn't blame them, but it's pretty overwhelming for Vax.

Though he understands their concerns and feels guilty, he really doesn't enjoy being confined like this...

But when an angry and vessel-less Orthax attacks them not long later, he is thankful for all of them.

He almost lost himself entirely to this monstrosity from the Hells... A truly scary thought.

That his loved ones love him no less for it is a miracle.

And if anything, he thinks he understands Percy now.

[waltwhitmansbeard]

"I'm here. I've got you. You're safe now." For Vaxleth

7. "I'm here. I've got you. You're safe now."

Vax is no stranger to all manner of horrors. His body is a symphony of scars, the bars to the score of his attempts at survival, at protecting those he cares about, at making the world a better place. He has seen things no mortal should see, stood witness to atrocities that have shaken his understanding of the world to its core. And yet mostly, he's okay. He's lucky, all things considered, because the people he has surrounded himself with cast such wonderful light into his dark corners, making it impossible to languish in the darkness for too long.

But there's just this one thing. When compared to the rest of the shit he's seen—dragon attacks and bodies swinging from trees and friends sliced in half and his sister, cold and lifeless on the floor—it's nothing. Barely worth discussing. Just one more thing on the pile.

And yet sometimes, in the darkest hours of night, when his dreams turn strange and terrifying, he sees it: the glint of teeth in the moonlight, a beloved face twisting into something monstrous, hands turned the wrong way, sickening, slashing. Terror grips his throat in its massive paw, and this is it. This is how he dies.

He startles awake, sweating and wild-eyed. The room is too dark to see. Something shifts beside him, and the dagger that never leaves its spot beneath his pillow is instantly in his hands.

"Vax?"

Not a tower, but a bedroom. Not Whitestone, but Zephrah. Not the rakshasa, but Keyleth. She rubbing her eye with the heel of her palm, her hair a rat's nest from sleep. "Are you okay?"

He hopes she can't see the dagger shake as he lowers it into his lap. "Yeah. Sorry. Go back to sleep."

The sting of embarrassment whisks the breath from his lungs. Too wise, his Tempest, too good at seeing past his cracked foundation. Slowly, she slides the dagger from him, twists around to set it on her nightstand. Then her hand comes up to card through his hair, which he imagines must be a rat's nest in its own right. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Foolish. Dramatic. He shakes his head, smiles the smile he knows she won't believe. "I'm fine."

A moment later, a scattering of fireflies dance around their heads, and now there really is no hiding from her. Her face is impassable, patient, knowing. She waits for him, must see the way the color rises in his cheeks as it all becomes too much, too quickly. She catches him when he falls, keeps his face in the crook of her neck as he cries for—well, he's not sure what for, if he's being honest. He just cries.

"I'm here," she whispers, her breath warm against his ear. "I've got you. You're safe now."

And he is, which may be the most overwhelming bit of it. He is in their bed, in the home they share, in the town that welcomed him in like a native son. They traveled to the Hells and back and left the rakshasa destroyed, incapable of ever returning to exact his revenge once more, and he will never again need to look into Shaun's face and question what he sees there—but he can't stop fucking crying anyway.

But she doesn't seem to mind. She holds him, lets her fingers play with the ends of his hair as she sways back and forth like a feather on the breeze. Her collar of her nightdress is soaked now, but she doesn't let him pull away, doesn't let him curl in on himself like he wants to. She presses kisses into the shell of his ear, and fuck, Vax can't remember the last time being alive felt like this.

After a few minutes, he gets a hand up to rub at his face, the embarrassed heat still tickling at the base of his throat, and croaks out, "Thank you. Sorry."

The fireflies press in closer, so he can't avoid the sincerity in her eyes when she says, "This is what loving you means, and I choose it every time."

Fuck, fuck. He lets her pull him back down to his pillow, curl into his side as if she were the one who needed to be held together. The fireflies drift off, up and out, until they disperse into darkness. Vax closes his eyes, listens to her breath against his skin, and when he's ready, lets sleep come and claim him once more.

[blorbologist]

Just wanted to be brave like you

Gen | 1.7k | Perc’ahlia and little Vesper | Modern AU | Just fuckin sad

Cross-posted to AO3

--

She’d warned him.

Vex had taken her husband aside when it became clear this film was on the agenda for the day. “Percy, darling,” she’d said, all filed edges and feather soft, “you don’t have to-”

“I do,” he’d insisted just as gently. “I’m not missing out on time with the women of my life because of a movie. Not an obligation, but a pleasure.” Then, wry: “Besides, we’ve both seen worse. Been through worse. The reviews are great, Keyleth has recommended it for as long as I can remember. Now is as good a time as any.”

“Are you sure?” And she’d pulled back to scrutinize him. Vex’ahlia is and always has been very good at that. There are no lies in him for her to find, though he suspected that’s not what she was looking for. “Percy, it made Vax sob the first time we watched it after our mother-”

She fell short of words, so he went the extra mile to find some for her: “I know, I know, dear. But it’s Vax. He’s like that. It’s a silly movie, and I have you both to protect me. It’ll be fine. Please?”

“Alright, darling. If you’re sure.”

She’d warned him, and he hadn’t listened.

Percy buries his face in Vex’s shoulder, waits for the music to pick up a little louder, and uses all this to cover a pathetic, wet sniffle.

Peeking through his lashes, it does not seem like Vesper noticed, too enraptured by the television screen. 

She clutches her stuffie to her chest with a gasp. The dusty scene glides slowly over the still golden form of a magnificent beast.

“Dad?”

Vesper mouths no - he thinks, because his eyes are burning and he really can’t look a second longer. Percival de Rolo has another embarrassing, probably snotty sniffle in his wife’s (his, but she’s stolen it) sweater. 

Why the fuck is he, a grown man, getting weepy over animated lions?!

Bless his wife - no I told you so, just a calloused hand running through his hair, over and over.

“Dad, c’mon,” begs Simba - he thinks it’s named Simba, “you gotta get up. We’ve got to go home.” 

And fool that he is he looks up just in time to see the cub tug at his father’s ear - oh gods, just like at the beginning of the movie when he woke him up for the patrol - and the horror, the realization -

Percival does not say fuck because he is the father of a five-year-old. He comes close, though, because even a vehement “Fudge,” is wholly incapable of conveying how truly wretched he feels. 

He knew the stupid lion was going to die. The film is just about as old as he is, and Vex had warned him repeatedly. For all that he never watched these movies growing up, Percy was not found under a rock either - everyone knows Mufasa dies.

It’s just something else, to be presented with the desperate loneliness again. This can’t be happening. He can’t be gone, they can’t be gone. Help - somebody, anybody, help. (And no one did.)

“Percy?” Vex murmurs, and he can hardly hear her beyond the raspy breathing. His raspy breathing. Oh dear. 

“‘m coping,” he gets out.

They both freeze when Vesper starts whimpering. Percy just has time to see her cheeks become tantrum-red before she bubbles into hiccups.

“Vesper, sweetheart - what’s wrong?” 

The words are a trigger - springloaded, she spins around to bury her face in Percy’s chest with a sob that breaks his darned heart. “I don’t want you to go-” she sobs, and that heart crumbles to dust in tiny hands when she takes fistfulls of his shirt. 

“Dear,” and he’s so watery, he doesn’t want his baby to see him like this, surely it’ll make it worse, “I’m not going anywhere-”

“He promised! Papa, he promised!” He gets a shaking hand to the nape of her neck, rubbing soothing circles that do little to make him feel better. They don’t seem to help Vesper, either, who clings tighter. She also makes a very obvious smear of snot, which, really, is enough to get a choked laugh from him. 

Vex might have paused the television - Percy can’t be sure, when she shuffles around to hug them both. “Vesper - little Whisper,” Vex whispers, barely beyond tears herself, “what do you want, sweetheart?”

“I want Daddy,” she sobs, “and - and you, and me, and - and-”

Vex’s free hand takes up running through as much of Vesper’s hair as she can. It usually works on her just as well as it does Percy - instead their little girl jerks back, almost offended her mother thinks she can soothe this new pain. 

“He’s alone! His - his Papa’s dead and he’s alone and he promised-”

“It’s just a movie,” Percy warbles. Takes a moment to sound less devastated than his child. She needs him. “Vesper, darling, it’s okay. There are no stampedes here, no evil lions. We’re not going anywhere - I promise, I give you my word.”

He can’t promise that. 

He knows better than anyone, anyone at all. There’s worse than wildebeest, worse than evil uncles. Long live the king, death to the de Rolos, there’s little difference. 

But he’s a father, now, he’s Vesper’s father, and if this is her reaction to the understanding that he could die - that he could be gone - he will build every bulwark, every defense against her ever experiencing this heartbreak as he has. Fuck tragedy, age, accidents - he won’t leave his family. He won’t. Death will have to face him, and he’s got good odds that death will lose.

Death had won back then, though, which makes him clutch Vesper tighter.

One day. But he will fight for each one he has with them. And knows well Vex will do the same.

It goes around like that - the DVD player faintly whirring in protest, here and there, as Vesper keeps repeating the tragedy in her mind, as Vex and Percy keep trying to soothe her of it. 

Vex shoulders most of it. Percy is still in much of a state himself, to his shame. Bouts of comfort before he needs to take some for himself: Vesper’s hazel eyes made dark grey by the film of tears, or his grief-rough voice sounding like his father’s to his ears. 

It’s not fair to Vex, to be juggling the both of them. He hates this, badly, but struggling to keep his breathing even just makes it buck his control and throw him into more crying.

He has a family, now. Vex and Vesper and Cass and Vax and Keyleth and Velora and those bound to him by no law but forces greater than them. No one here is alone, and never will be again.

“Daddy, you’re sad.”

Well, so much for hiding it. Percy cannot exactly wipe away the tears regardless - hands full and all, and unlike his progeny he is not going to wipe snot on his shirt. “I guess I am,” he admits. 

“You -” Vesper has to pause to work through the words - stuck somewhere in her throat, he thinks, maybe wiggling in her mouth like a frog, he knows the feeling. “You don’t-”

He leans into Vex’s touch. An anchor for the wave he knows is coming. He takes the time he can to measure his breathing before Vesper says, “I - Daddy, you don’t have a daddy.”

“No - no, sweetheart, I don’t.”

(He doesn’t include the list, the tombstone-script of names. He’s lost so much more than his father, but he supposes that’s a good place to start. Let alone Vex’s mother. One at a time, or he’ll break again and break worse and Vesper doesn’t need that.)

Vesper looks up at him with streaming eyes. “I’m sorry, Papa.” She squeezes him with all her might - which is considerable, to him. So much love to give and with no remorse. Those perfect little brows - more Vex’s than his - furrow something fierce, and she struggles just free enough of his hold to offer her stuffy. Who is also covered in snot. “’m sorry. Will - will Bauble make it better?”

And oh, fuck, he isn’t ready for that. 

“Thank you, dear,” he says solemnly. “Yes - yes, Bauble makes it better.”

He lets Vesper press the owlbear (it was supposed to be a bear, but - Velora, dear, that’s a beak) to his chest, where his heart struggles to pet it. 

“I love you, Papa.”

She says it often. More than daily, more times than he can count - and he has tried, diligently, to count and treasure each one.

This one makes his face melt into something awful, and Vesper looks so worried, so scared, and it’s because of the stupid animated lions - 

He must have made a gods-awful sound, this time, because there’s a racket of tags and claws on the hardwood as a brown blur bounds over from the kitchen and launches himself at the couch. 

Which he’s not supposed to be on, strictly speaking, but who could keep Vax from encouraging the habit? And who would dare fault him now when all the de Rolos shriek. 

“Trinket,” Vex scolds, hardly scolding at all. “Down, buddy!” 

He just wuffles and noses Vesper’s ear until she wails with giggles, shoving her open palms at their dog. Those get licked too.

It’s very hard to cry when a huge fluffy dog is whining at you for every whimper and licking at your mouth until they turn into laughs.

Percy will be sure to sneak him a little ham, later. 

“Tell you what,” says Vex, in his ear. Vesper wiggles to look up at her, too. What must their daughter see? Vex is too close and his eyes too damp to make out much of her beyond redder than normal and shaky. What a portrait, what a distressing sight. “You remember what the daddy lion -”

Sniffle. “Mufasa, Mama.”

She smiles. “- what Mufasa said earlier? About the great kings of the past?” Trinket’s collar rustles when Vex ruffles his soft ears. “Later tonight, after supper, we can go look at the stars, and… talk to them. Would you like that, darling?”

Percy is fairly sure she means Vesper. But when their daughter pinches her eyes shut - overwhelmed? To think? - she’s looking at him with eyes he’d surrender his fears to. 

Would he like that?

“Yes, Mummy,” Vesper burbles, with a final rub of her fist to her nose. She then pats Percy’s arm, snot and all. “Can - can we keep watching the movie, Papa?”

“It gets scary,” Vex warns gently. A glance at the screen confirms that Scar looms, some shadows in the dust behind him. “If it’s too much, just tell us and we can stop, alright darling?”

“Trinket will protect you,” Percy adds quietly. The thump of a stubby tail seconds that.

Vesper nods so bravely. “Alright.”

Dutifully, Vex - the only one with a free arm to reach the remote, and with the least gross hands - presses play, and soon enough the thrilling music and fast-paced chase have Vesper distracted again. Even Trinket watches, with his old eyes, laying his head on her little lap.

Percy brands a kiss to Vex’s brow. As hard as he dares.

She hugs him a touch too tight. It’s a promise.

[constantly-deactivated]

⚠️⚠️"YOU BETTER PAY ATTENTION"⚠️⚠️

White Hat Military Installations DESTROY Vaccine-Contaminated Blood Stockpiles

After the House voted 350-80 in favor of repealing Lloyd Austin’s unconstitutional Covid-19 vaccine mandate for all armed forces members, the White Hat partition of the U.S. military took it a step further by destroying blood donations taken from vaccinated servicemembers.

They say empirical evidence proves beyond all doubt that although donors might not present vaccine-related side effects, recipients of tainted plasma have had adverse reactions, including sudden death, to contaminated blood. Case in point: Staff Sgt. William Wright, a healthy 36-year-old male stationed at Fort Bliss, Texas, was wounded during a training exercise to the point of needing a transfusion. Wright was not vaccinated; he had been fighting an arduous battle to obtain a religious exemption. He was unconscious at the time, and therefore couldn’t ask whether the plasma entering his veins had been siphoned from a vaccinated person. Unbeknownst to Wright, the donor had been double-vaxxed and boosted. He seemed to recover—his vitals were normal and he was eating solid food—but remained under observation at the William Beaumont Army Medical Center-Fort Bliss, and had enough strength to ask whether he’d been given vaccinated blood. When told he had, he protested. Two days later Wright, still at the hospital, died suddenly—major heart attack. A postmortem examination found an 11” blood clot in an artery in his lungs.

The White Hat physicians’ movement claims that the criminal Biden regime has buried hundreds of similar reports that malign its precious vaccine.

“When an unvaccinated patient receives vaccinated plasma, well, statistics don’t lie. What we’ve witnessed is an astronomically large number of troops present everything from mild and temporary to severe and lasting side effects, and, in some cases, death. I’m personally aware of 12 men that needed a transfusion and vehemently objected to getting vaccinated plasma. They were told they were government property and had no right to refuse it,” a physician at Womack Army Medical Center, Fort Bragg, told Real Raw News.

On Thursday, the senior leadership at Womack Army Medical Center reached a consensus to incinerate and destroy its stockpile of vaccine-contaminated blood—approximately 500 liters of refrigerated plasma and whole blood that hadn’t yet been spun in a centrifuge. News of the heroic act spread rapidly among the White Hat community, and within hours other military bases began torching polluted blood. Fort Meade, home to U.S. Cyber Command, destroyed its supply, as did Hunter Army Airfield and Fort Benning, both in Georgia. All told, 23 installations obliterated toxic blood.

“It was a ripple effect, a wave,” said our source at Womack Army Medical Center. “It only took us to start it, and now it’s washing over joint bases all over the country.”

RRN asked whether the blood destruction would affect service members whose lives depend on a transfusion.

“We have an ace in the hole,” our source said. “Fortunately, Marines resisted the mandate from the start, and have been donating regularly. Rough estimate, 150,000 unvaccinated Marines who can donate 6 times per year. The Special Operations units also refused vaccination. That’s 43,000 men and women, give or take. We won’t have a shortage of unvaccinated blood. And we’ll get more as new enlistees, who won’t have to get vaxxed, can contribute theirs.”

Source:

Do you know what you're getting❓🤔

[timaeusterrored]

(Who’s this guy?)

Kerry went to sleep in his apartment the night before, and woke up in the blinding light of a window that probably cost more then his whole building combined. What the fuck?

He looked around more, silk sheets and a penthouse that cost more than what he made his whole last tour. Oh fuck, what did he get himself into this time? He could smell breakfast being cooked and the shower running in the bathroom right next to him.

He kicked the blankets off, naked, but that was nothing new. He always slept naked. But the weird thing was the new tattoo over his heart and his finished sleeves. When the fuck had he gotten that done? He also noted the expensive and flashy chrome running down his chest and stomach like a goddamn landing pad for his dick.

He looked around for clothes, something that seemed like what he would wear. He did find pants that reminded him of Johnny, and he paused. Johnny had died a year ago today. Maybe he shouldn’t put these on, Nancy would be-

“Hey V, have you seen my- mornin’- have you seen my jacket?” What?

Johnny Silverhand had just walked past him like it was nothing, even acknowledged him with a kiss on the cheek and calling for someone named ‘V’. He heard a distant voice from down stairs, but he didn’t hear the reply, watching Johnny get ready.

“You gonna wear those or can I- Are you okay?” Johnny turned completely, in just a towel, staring at Kerry with a concern he had never seen so plainly on his face. “Ker? You’re pale, do I need to get Vax?”

Who the fuck was Vax? What the fuck was going on? How was Johnny here? Where even was he?

He saw Johnny call for someone, presumably the person downstairs, before helping Kerry sit back on the bed.

“Ker? Kerry? Baby, can you hear me?” Some guy he didn’t know was crouched in front of him, holding his hands, rubbing his arms, acting as if they had known each other for years. He was drop dead gorgeous yes, had nice shoulders. Probably this ‘Vax’ guy Johnny had said.

“What year is it?” Kerry asked plainly, making V and Johnny look up at him in concern. The ‘V’ guy checked his forehead for a fever, fear lacing his features.

“It’s 2082, Ker. What happened? Are you okay?”

Okay this guy kept touching him and acting all sweet with him was plain weird.

He may as well have slapped the guy when he pulled his hands away with the reality of him being 55 years in the future.

“What year do you think it is?” Johnny asked, sitting next to him once he was dressed. Kerry still couldn’t believe what he was seeing, Johnny alive and well, and looking better than the last time he saw him. Some gray hairs and new piercings, two rings on his right ring finger. He took a moment to realize he and V had a wedding band on both their left and right ring fingers. Were they married? What the fuck was going on.

“I went to sleep in 2024. What the fuck is going on? Who the fuck is this guy? How are you even alive? And do I seriously make it to fucking 94 years old?” Kerry’s voice sounded alien in his own ears, making him shutter. Everything was different and weird and it was really fucking him up.

“Fuck.” Johnny and V said in unison.

They three moved downstairs once Kerry was dressed, the place he supposedly lived was nicer than any place he had stayed. He noticed pictures rested on the TV stand as he sat down, Johnny going with V so they could talk. They naturally stood so close to each other, moving as if they were one person. It was creepy and Kerry hated it.

The pictures were of children he didn’t remember having, but looked so like him it was impossible to say they weren’t his. A wedding with the man in the kitchen who looked like he was two seconds from losing his fucking mind. That wasn’t good. That handsome piece of ass was his husband? And he didn’t even remember? How could he, it hadn’t happened for him yet.

This had to be some drunken nightmare, for all parties involved because he’s never seen Johnny so distressed before, even after Alt had died. Oh god, was she alive too?

V came back with a cup of coffee for him, made just how he liked it, and sat next to him. Kerry’s body reacted too him in ways he wasn’t sure how to feel. He wanted to lean in, smell the body wash and shampoo he had probably used that morning, have the man tucked into his side while woke up for the day. All thoughts he used to have about Johnny.

‘V’ rubbed his eyes, sitting forward. He was clearly trying to get his thoughts together and honestly, Kerry felt bad. He was technically this man’s husband. He wondered how long they had been married, if those kids were theirs. How old was this dude anyway?

“Okay, did you take anything yesterday? Or eat anything weird?” His hand went to rest on his knee, but was brought back. When he remembered. Kerry’s heart tugged.

“Don’t think so. Took my normal, drank ‘til I passed out.” His voice was kinda sexy now if he did say so himself. “It’s someone’s death date.” He shot a glare at Johnny.

“Right. That’s gonna be fun explaining.” V mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Part of him wondered if there was more than just cream and sugar in his coffee right now. “Guess I should introduce myself first. I’m Vax, I’m your husband, we’ve been married for three years, been married to Johnny for about six months now-“

“Thought you didn’t wanna marry me.”

“Let him finish.” Johnny seemed oddly protective of this V character. Or just avoidant of the accusation.

“You’re Kerry Eurodyne, you’re 94 as you said-“

“How old are you?”

V paused, then Johnny chuckled, covering his face for a moment. “Yeah V, how old are you?”

V’s face heated up. “I’m 33.”

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

Oh. He became one of those celebrities, got it. Though, he didn’t look half bad for 94, he and V didn’t look that far apart as far as appearances went. He didn’t know if that was an insult to V or a compliment to himself.

“Can I continue? You’re getting way too much enjoyment out of that.” V accused Johnny.

“Yeah because he used to be the guy sleeping with older men and now he is the older man!” Johnny laughed again, louder and brighter than Kerry had ever heard out of him.

“Yeah, just remember you’re technically 94 as well, so watch it.” Technically? What did that mean? Kerry wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

The next hour was getting Kerry up to speed on everything, apparently he had an ex wife and two kids. V, or Vax as Kerry apparently calls him, was his husband, Johnny and Vax had some weird mind fuck thing that Kerry did not understand. And V and Kerry were currently looking into having children as well apparently. He felt like he was a bit old to be doing all that, but this guy looked so worried he may vomit so Kerry shut his mouth and listened.

“Think there’s a chance our Ker is in 2024?” Johnny asked, making V cover his face.

“I hope not… that’s gonna fuck him up.” He got up to get more coffee, while Kerry sat there, unsure of what to do or say to comfort the man at this point. He didn’t know V, despite their husband status. He didn’t know this house, he barely knew this new version of Johnny that looked fucking fantastic and so unapologetically worried about him.

“What the fuck do we even do? How does this just… happen?” V came back, once again sitting way too close. Looks like Kerry’s lack of personal space was still in tack.

“I don’t fuckin’ know! He accidentally time traveled, god knows where our Kerry is.” For the first time, Kerry realized Johnny was stolen cold sober.

V slumped against the back of the couch, rubbing his forehead. “Fuck me…”

This was going to be a very long day.

[pinkieroy]

Cr spoilers

Me all day *don't think about how Orym's family died in a plot to bait Vax, don't think about how he lost everything just because the vanguard wanted to get Keyleth's attention, don't think about how when Orym himself died it was just to make Imogen break, don't think about how those deaths were just some "collateral demage" in their scheme to be better than the gods, don't think about how Otohan treated all those people's lives and love for one another as pieces in a chess game*

I'm doing okay, guys, I swear

[daggersandarrows]

anyway, the t4t vaxleth thought:

in my mind, syngorn has always been kinda...not great about trans people. oh, they say they're accepting, but all the adults do that thing where they go "boys and girls...and whatever the fuck you are, i guess you can go with (agab group)". the air ashari tribe is accepting in the way of old people who hear about you and go "good for you! you should date whoever you want!" and you're like. um. thanks? their sex education is...severely lacking (i feel like this is practically canon, tbh, percy and vex keep having to explain why dirty stuff is funny to keyleth) and i think keyleth probably had a kind-but-rough teenagehood. because i simply love it too much for it to be anything else, i think byroden is practically a queer utopia--but that just makes leaving it that much harder.

all this to say: i don't think either of them have an exactly easy time of it.

when the twins meet keyleth, i think all three have a moment of "oh, this would've been interesting in high school". you know. the look of Queer Recognition. and i think once vax and keyleth get together their genders just sorta...fall into each other in the nicest way.

vax keeps his hair long and keyleth discovers she likes hers short after they have to cut it and vax has wings and keyleth is a saber tooth tiger when she goes to sleep and she's taller but he still picks her up and spins her around and she is Not a princess and they both love flowers. none of this needs to be explained to each other. all of this is part of them. vax could not care less about the genitalia of his partners. keyleth prefers intimacy that doesn't involve genitals at all.

i think after vax dies, his raven watches over the trans kids of the air ashari tribe. i think keyleth makes it a priority to give them a better education than she got. and i think this means that when orym tells derrig at age five that he's a boy too, he has a much easier time of it. i think he very proudly tells people that he's just like the voice of the tempest.

[utilitycaster]

Any passionate hot-takes or thoughts on The Legend of Vox Machina animated series? Anything you didn't like or thought could've been handled better or didn't grip you as much as you thought it might? Anything you thought they did really well that the fandom doesn't agree with you on?

Hi anon, I would recommend you check the "tlovm" and "tlovm spoilers" tags on my blog if you want any detailed analysis because it's been like 6-7 months since I watched it. Overall I liked it a lot. Based on a quick skim of those tags myself, and what I remembered offhand:

I am, on the whole, extremely in favor of the adaptational changes made. I think the writer's room understood the challenges of adapting something so long and extensive into the small chunk of time they had, and the choices (notably: the party split, the Osysa scene being much more confrontational/Kash and Zahra being less friendly, Grog's plot, and moving the Feywild to pre-Umbrasyl with all the implications that has for Vex's plot) were well done. One of my only small complaints is that while I get why the Kamaljiori scene was drastically changed for the sake of the adaptation, I do prefer both the puzzle of the original campaign and the fact that he wasn't killed.

In an interesting parallel to some of the ongoing Campaign 3 discussions, I think I diverged from a segment of the fandom in being strongly in favor of Vex's plot. This is honestly not specific to TLOVM; I watched Campaign 1 after it aired but the discourse surrounding Vex has always been tricky. The thing about Vex is the thing about all of Laura's characters, as others have said: for some reason, she tends to be treated as the self-insert player of the fandom. For Vex, I think this is also muddied by the fact that her most obvious "negative" trait, her issues with money, has been accepted for what it is, namely, the result of a life of poverty. However, perhaps because it was more compressed and obvious in TLOVM vs the more spread-out over time nature of C1, people really didn't like how much Vex cares about the opinions of Vax, Percy, and especially her father. I think a lot of people really wish Vex were Vax But A Woman, to be honest (though often those people do not like Vax...there's a whole other thing about how few people in the fandom manage to actually like both twins as individuals; either people love one and hate the other or are those "omg TWINNIES! and then one dies? and one lives? the MOST tragedy of tragedies" weirdos whom I have to assume actual twins would probably find kind of creepy), and TLOVM definitely brought those ones out.

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

Darkness (Percahlia week day 2)

ao3 @percahliaweek

Percy didn’t notice at first. That’s odd since he usually notices everything about Vex’ahlia. Maybe she’s just better at hiding it or he wasn’t looking close enough. Either way, it’s well into their first year of traveling together before he sees the way that she reacts to fire.

Once he sees it, he can’t stop seeing it. 

She sits further away from the fire than everyone else, even in the dead of winter. Vax seems to understand as he always gives her his cloak for an extra blanket on cold nights. When Keyleth shifts into a fire elemental, Vex keeps her distance, eyes never leaving her form. 

It’s perfectly normal to be afraid of things, but a part of Percy expected her to be fearless. Somehow her fear of fire makes her even more beautiful to him. He doesn’t mention it, not until they’re living in her house in Whitestone.

He came home from the workshop one night in the fall to find the house completely freezing. He could almost see his breath. Alarmed, Percy called out, “Vex? Are you home?”

“In here.” He followed the sound of her voice and found her in their bedroom. She was curled up with Trinket, shivering against him with blankets wrapped around her. 

He rushed to her side immediately, “Gods, it’s freezing in here. Are you ill?”

She shook her head, looking down in shame. Trinket nuzzled against her back, pushing her towards Percy slightly. He took one of her hands, her skin cold to the touch. Immediately he started rubbing her hand to warm her up.

“Why didn’t you light a fire this afternoon before it got cold?”

Vex flinched and pushed her hair out of her face, “I…I tried, Percy. I couldn’t do it. I saw the sparks and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.” She sniffed and tried again to push her thick hair out of her eyes. Knowing how easily frustrated she could get, Percy did it for her, tucking her hair behind her shoulder. “It’s so silly,” she told him, her voice wavering with emotion.

“It’s not,” Percy assured her, just like she had done for him time and time over. “We all have things we’re afraid of. And we will continue this conversation after we get you warm.” He touched her cheek, waiting for her to nod before kissing her and moving from the bed. 

It didn’t take long for Percy to light the fireplace, along with the ones in the kitchen and the living room. When Percy returned to the bedroom, he toed off of his shoes and climbed into bed beside her. 

Without saying a word, he slid under the blankets beside her and pulled her into his arms, tucking her against his chest. Her head found its place on his chest and he rubbed circles against her back, hoping to warm her up. Still he said nothing, not until Vex stopped shivering and her nose was warm. 

Vex swallowed thickly, and ever so softly asked, “How long have you known?”

He sighed and rubbed her back, “In our first year traveling. I didn’t know it was this bad.” He regretted his wording when Vex flinched again. “You’ve lit fires before.”

She shook her head, “Never alone. If something went wrong…someone would be there to help.” Percy held her just a bit tighter. “My mother died alone in a fire. I-I know it was caused by a dragon but every time I smell smoke or see a fire…” Vex took a shaky breath, “It’s like I’m there all over again, watching my mother’s house burn to the ground.”

Percy held her even tighter, pressing his cheek to her head. “That must be awful. Why did you never tell any of us?”

Vex shrugged, “I don’t know really. Vax knew and that was enough. I didn’t want to tell you all, I didn’t want to seem weak.”

“You are anything but,” Percy promised. “I remember a very wise woman once telling me that I was more than my fear. And I think that goes for her too, don’t you agree?”

Vex had the decency to chuckle at his attempt at a joke as she coyly said, “I’m not sure.”

Percy laughed and kissed her head. He’s not usually one for that kind of affection, it always felt unnatural, but Vex adored it, always has. “I believe we both know it does, dearest. And I vow that everyday there will be a warm fire in every room of this house and that there will be a Pale Guard stationed nearby so that if anything should happen, someone will know.”

Tears sprang to Vex’s eyes and she turned around burying her face into his shoulder. “I love you so much.”

Percy chuckled, “I should hope so, dear. I gave you a house and a title and-”

“A treasury full of gold, I know,” Vex smiled, her hand on his cheek. 

“I was going to say a happy and loving marriage, but that works too.”

Vex slapped his shoulder, “You ass, you were not going to say that.”

[rightpastnowhere]

fluffy HCs as requested bud <33

Vesper is absolutely spoiled by VM - they get better with it as time goes on [the Trickfoots have their own kids, and the rest have their responsibilities really settle in, and Vex and Percy learn that maybe spoiling a kid rotten isn't the best way to go] but this kid gets everything. Partially because she's the first baby and SO cute... partially because Vax just died and Vex is A Mess so they're all rallying to defeat this for her, for themselves, and it's very healing to make a lil baby smile and laugh.

Scanlan actually isn't the best at lullabies - the kids turn to Pike's huskier and softer voice at bedtime. Which Scanlan is Very Dramatic About, but he has the best songs for games and chores and good times and such. But Pike lulls them right to sleep, and also offers up sea shanties when they're working on chores as a family that require a rhythm.

Sorry, but you know Willhand'ildan absolutely fucking hates his name. He and Vax'ildan (Dan) bond over not really... knowing how to deal with being named after dead people, especially the same guy their parents feel guilty about not being able to save. So Dan and Wills actually end up being very close friends, and I HC they're fairly close friends too. I HC Dan as becoming a Druid in Zephrah, and if so he and Wills either send letters regularly or Wills works as a Tempest Blade there too (shhh hes FINE hes FINE he comes out COMPLETELY UNSCATHED SHHH).

Juniper's feelings are less complicated, because Scanlan had a lot more time to come to terms with his mother's death, and her name is a lot more common / namesake less well known so people don't immediately bug her about it. She feels really touched she has this connection to this woman only her dad knew.

Not v relevant but imagine an AU where Tary and Lawrence adopt a lil Fjord. (They both settle down in Port Damali, which is where Lawrence was living, and where Fjord grew up!) Consider Fjord with gay dads who absolutely trounce on standard ideas of masculinity from the word go, and also are prolific authors. Jester would get absolutely fucking starry-eyed when he tells her lmao

OH MY GOD VM BABIES ;;;;;

vesper being spoiled by a vm who feel guilty about vax and paranoid about this small fragile lil babbu and also who want to see her have more than they ever did... they overcorrect but it's so earnest and i love them oh my god

PIKE SINGING LULLABIES!! HELP!!!! OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS

poor wilhand'ildan was fucked over for LIFE (sam and ashley are giggling as they ruin this fictional child's life it's hilarious) and i do think that would be SUCH a heavy burden, but the thought of vax'ildeux and wills being buddies........ that warms my heart sm. AND LIVING IN ZEPHRAH WITH AUNTIE KEEKS......... BLESSED

juniper <33 she has no idea how much drama her named caused LMAO

OH MY GOD THAT'S SUCH A CUTE IDEA THO ?!?! AWWWWWWWWW

thank you so much for these,,,,,,, heart full of warm happiness <33 thank you

[essayofthoughts]

Relevant to our convo: wedding HCs for the AUs? Do any AUs result in the Perc'ahlia elopement and/or wedding changes? Elope earlier or later, or actually spill the secret deliberately, or Sylas not crashing Dalen's Closet, etc.?

I haven't decided for all of the AUs yet! And some are.... complicated in various ways and by various things. I'm going to be ignoring the ones which are entire new universes or significantly altered timelines and instead stick to the ones which maintain some semblance of the canon timeline and tell you what changes in the Perc'ahlia's for each.

Ghost Cass - So. We all remember when and how Perc'ahlia got together, right? Namely, after slaying Vorugal. And, as we recall, they put off fighting Vorugal for a day because Percy had very recently died. He was still recovering from resurrection.

So uh. In this AU, Cass flatly refuses to let Percy go fight Vorugal and he isn't there after that fight. Percy and Vex don't even get together til the year break. I'm not sure when they get married - I don't think they elope over the year break in this AU, and I'm inclined to say they get married after Vecna. As I've still not decided every detail of the end of the final arc of this, I have no idea if Sylas makes it to Dalen's Closet or not.

Soulmate AU - So. In Soulmate AU, for various reasons, Percy and Vex get together shortly before the Briarwood Arc really kick off and then break up at the end of the Briarwood Arc for Reasons (No, I Will Not Explain; sufficeth to say, there is Angst and Irony in play).

They nonetheless get back together after Vorugal. Given that they'd broken up earlier and actually cleared the air, there is no year break break up in this AU and I'm inclined to say they don't elope? They've rushed things before, they're more willing to take their time.

Evilest AU - So uh. I'm not entirely set on how things go in this AU yet, but the leading idea currently is that they get together on their first trip to Marquet. Given events after the Briarwood Arc in this AU, they may not? Break up during the year off? But they also just as easily might, but for different reasons than I posit in my Year Break Break-Up Fic. I suspect they do still elope in this AU, however, though it still isn't fully determined.

Happier Evilest - They actually get together and start figuring things out way earlier in this AU which ... in this specific circumstance makes me inclined to say that they do elope or come very close to it in this AU?

Sylas Briarwood Gets To Live Bitches - This probably treads the closest to canon... though I don't know that they break up the same way/for the same reasons as I posit in the Year Break Break-Up Fic. I think they realise just how Briarwoods-y they can be and take a break from each other just to be sure, and I think, having confronted it, they pace themselves a bit more and possibly discuss with others (Vax for Vex, I'm inclined to say Keyleth for Percy?) their worries about the similarities. So if they do get married over the year break, I don't think they elope. And of course, in this AU, the Briarwoods are working to be better people, so no Sylas crashing any fancy re-wedding at Dalen's Closet!

Fem!Percy AU - So. Due to various things they have a really really solid friendship as a basis for their relationship here? It's not just trust it's that Vex made an active effort to reach out and make Persy feel welcome from relatively early on, and to comfort her with regards to what she saw as lingering anxieties from trauma (she was correct; Vex is very perceptive). Consequently, when they get together they've got an awful lot of trust in each other and an extremely good understanding of each other; I don't think they'd break-up over the year break. I do think that they'd get married, but it wouldn't be an elopement: I think they'd inform and invite the others.

Masc!Vex AU - Hey. Hey @blorbologist. You remember that delicious piece of angst you wrote me for my birthday? Well-versed in wishing? I am almost inclined to say that happens in this AU, though I'm not certain. It's just that Percy has a lot of baggage to unpack about certain things and while he gets with Vex on the same timeline as canon in this AU, I think Vex is perceptive enough to register his hesitancy and personal issues regarding other things and so their break up may last uh. Longer? I don't want it to; that feels very angsty and kind of unfair in this AU, so I'd like them to get back together before the decades long pause of your lovely fic, but what exactly causes-

Oh no. Oh Blorb, you give me the best ideas. *runs away cackling*

Wolf Siblings AU - So on the one hand: Percy knows he's into Vex and is in a much better place mentally and emotionally! Plus, I don't particularly want to play out like. The Vecna arc or even necessarily the whole of the Conclave Arc for this AU? I may do things like the Tomb but with a different plot? Undecided. No Glintshore because Ripley gets ripped apart by the wolf siblings. But anyway, so in this AU, Percy is being wingmanned by Vesper and is generally doing better so on the one hand some things go more smoothly!

On the other hand, having his siblings involved and invested in his romance stalls him a lot, so it ends up being on about the same timeline. There is no elopement: Percy's siblings are both nosy and all have had five years of being extremely nosy in his life - if anything, they figure out Percy and Vex are planning to get married before the two even manage to propose to each other.

Of course, given I don't intend to do the Vecna Arc in this AU, no Dalen's closet crashing for Sylas. If Percy and Vex do elope, Vesper is dragging them back to Whitestone for a formal wedding as soon as she finds where the hell they've gone.

Tiefling!Percy AU - So. Percy has some issues with the fact he's a tiefling? And one thing I have actually written ahead is him and Vex having a conversation about the possibility of children and Percy specifically asking that they wait because... well. He's a tiefling and he's not sure how he feels about that basically ever. And. Given he's a tiefling, that means good odds that their children will be tieflings - and the last thing he wants to do is have those same conflicted feelings about his own children, or for them to feel unloved.

So I think because of that they might well impulse-propose to each other, but I think they wouldn't elope. Percy's wedding to Vex ends up being the first time Whitestone's citizens get to see him fully decked out in all the shiny horn rings and such that Vox Machina give him.

Sylas may still crash Dalen's Closet, though, and now I'm wondering what impact Percy's tiefling spells might have on that.

Elaina Lives AU - You know what? Good damn question. I actually have no idea? This story is told primarily from Elaina's POV with a possible dip into Vax's - no Vex or Percy planned thus far. I genuinely have no idea.

Canon Vampercy AU - Likewise genuinely no idea. I've only got a couple of scenes down for this AU and it's more vibes than anything. I don't even know if this would end up as more than a oneshot.

Werewolf’s Soulmate AU Continuation - Reasonable odds they try to elope in this AU - however how secret that remains... I don't know. Thanks to @rightpastnowhere I had the idea that they would at some point each get half-bracelet tattoos, each getting one half that matches to the other, so it shows as a full bracelet between them? I'm wondering if, as soulmates, this ends up part of their marriage ceremony, in which case everyone finds out pretty quickly. That said, I may do it as just... something they get at some other point as a mark of their commitment to each other so - yet to be determined!

Daemon AU - I have not plotted this one far enough ahead to be sure yet. That said, you asking this has given me the delightful image of Vex's magpie daemon shattering into Dust over the ocean at Dalen's Closet so uh.

Enjoy that!

PercyRipley Soulmate AU - Percy has so many fucking hangups in this AU. After all, if even his soulmate would reject him, what kind of a person does that make him? (An infinitely better person, obviously, Ripley is the worst.)

Anyway, I think Percy's issues may fuel a year break break-up in this AU, though I'm not 100% sure on that yet. That said, seeing how much it hurts Vex would absolutely buck Percy up and they could well elope after that. I'm not certain though: I've only really got an outline down for this so far.

Syldor Isn’t A Dick AU - Vex has so many fewer issues in this AU. On the one hand this means she's in a much better place! On the other hand it means it takes her and Percy a bit longer to get together, I feel? An awful lot of Percy's actions in canon that seed their love for each other are things that remind Vex of her worth, both as an individual and to him specifically, and in this AU she doesn't need that so much? So they get together much more based on personal connection and shared interests.

That said, I think that means 1. They're less likely to break up during the year break and 2. There's good odds she and Percy elope almost as soon as possible in the year break and then end up spilling the beans to just about everyone in their thrilled-ness about it and end up getting married again during the break.

Sylas may still crash some other event at Dalen's Closet a year on though.

[waltwhitmansbeard]

Vaxleth + being an expert in teasing the other

2. being an expert in teasing the other this is gonna be cr, in the year gap!

Vax has never had so much time to do with as he pleased. Since he and Vex left Syngorn, there has always been something to do, something to steal, some need to fulfill. For years now, Vox Machina has been rushing from one emergency to the next, fighting beholders or vampires or fucking dragons, all to make the world a better place, and now it is, and Vax has nothing but time.

So he spends his days doing what he loves best: watching Keyleth be amazing. She's fallen into her role as Tempest far more naturally than she had predicted (not him; nothing could surprise him less than her success as her people's leader), and as a result she is often called all over Tal'dorei to help with this project or that. She takes these request in stride, hoping to open Zephrah up to more collaboration with other cities and towns across the continent. It often leaves her exhausted and aching for home, but she is doing good work, and he is so endlessly proud of her.

Today, though, he does not have to share her with some city council or demanding town mayor. Today, she has nothing on her schedule, and she is entirely his, and he plans to make the most of it. Well, his plans are largely to laze about and feed each other food under the blooming cherry trees on the cliffs, but plans are plans nonetheless. He lets her sleep in as long as he dares before pulling her from the sheets to dress for a day of lounging about. He has a picnic basket all ready to go, and before she can begin listing off all of the things she ought to be doing with her day, he's dragged her out far from the bustle of daily life in Zephrah. No reading, no meetings, no spell preparation—just him and her and a basket full of food and the candy-colored skies overhead.

He's resting up against a tree with her nestled between his legs, his eyes closed to feel the soft breeze rustle his hair. She reaches up to pop a grape into his mouth and says, "Okay, you win. This is nice."

He grins. "Who knew you had the ability to relax?"

Pouting, she says, "I can be fun."

"Your idea of fun usually ends up with you getting arrested."

"Well your idea of fun usually ends up with Grog doing irreparable damage to one of your testicles."

"But he enjoyed himself, didn't he? When was the last time you let yourself breathe?"

She twists around to glare at him, and then he sees a spark of something dangerous in her eye. The next thing he knows, the gentle breeze that he has become so accustomed to in Zephrah has turned into a gale force wind, localized, apparently, on him, and his hair picks up and swirls around him as if caught in a tornado. He yelps, trying to use his arms to protect his eyes as his demon of a girlfriend laughs. The wind dies down a few moments later, and he doesn't need a mirror to know that his hair is a mess.

"You jerk!" he exclaims, lurching forward to attempt to tickle her, but as always, she's too fast for him. She shrinks down into a tiny sparrow and flitters up to nest in his hair, whistling at him with what he can only assume is mocking glee.

"Alright, alright, you win!" he groans, collapsing back against the tree again. His avian girlfriend flies up in a victory lap over head before settling back down atop the picnic blanket and resuming the half-elven shape is rather fond of.

"I can be fun," she repeats, grinning smugly.

"Only because you cheat with magic," he grumbles as he begins the futile attempt at combing out his tangles.

She shrugs, grabbing a few cubes of cheese to toss into her mouth. "Tell your raven girlfriend to give you better spells instead of this depressing wardrobe."

"How did this picnic turn into my roast?" he moans. "I changed my mind, I'm not getting that tattoo anymore."

"Weenie."

He's had enough of her lip, so he surges forward to capture it with his own. She grins into the kiss, clearly satisfied with herself, and he lets her take the victory.

[blorbologist]

Hello yes I would like to know more about your Fullmetal Alchemist AU because that was amazing. The Ashari doing alkahestry, *chef's kiss*. Delilah as Envy, genius move. Saundor as Lust, perfect casting is perfect.

Vex with the title of Sewing Life Alchemist, much better person than the original holder of the title. And that Truth took part of her heart, oh that's good.

!! Thank you so much! I love this AU but it has so many moving parts it's hard even for me to juggle them sometimes pfft.

God there's so much to talk about uhhhh:

It's a super complicated AU in part because I'm including Campaign 1 PCs as the older cast (Vex, Vax, Percy, Pike and Grog are all in the military, Keyleth gets a bit of Scar and Mei's roles, Tary is Somewhere) and the Campaign 2 PCs as the younger (Beau and Caleb fill the role of the Elrics, Jester is probably Winry-ish with some Mei elements, Veth is a chimera, idk what Fjord is up to, Yasha is likely Ishvalan, Essek gets to be Ling <3, idk what I'm gonna do to Molly and Kingsley. Probably terrible things. He might be Hoenheim/Father/idk. Maybe he'd fit better as Ling then Greed but I Like Essek Best Ok). Which is complex enough on its own (I can get conflict between the kids and their military babysitters with Beau and Percy butting heads), but what makes it extra dicey is the homunculi. I want to try and ensure that the main villains have a good balance between CR1 ones and CR2's, but whereas many of VM's antagonists are connected (Vecna/Sylas/Delilah/kiiinda Ripley, all the Conclave), the M9's are very disperse - and with all these enemies it's hard to unite them under one goal. Do I include the Conclave? What about the Iron Shepherds? Lucien's group? Avantika? So for the oneshot I just said fuck it and narrowed in on the most Perc'ahlia relevant information (and had Keyleth there instead of Jester, to stick to the C1 cast).

I've shuffled around a lot of the alchemical signatures of several characters due to what fits and what doesn't - for instance, though Vex neatly fills a lot of Roy's role, she is never associated with fire. Caleb, however, is, so the Ed-equivalent gets to be the Flame Alchemist. As a Ranger, Vex is very difficult to make fit into the State Alchemist system, so I made her role more research-focused (while still keeping with the terrible guilt and shame that Roy has that I think fits Vex nicely as well). As the Sewing Life Alchemist, she can be a more successful Shou Tucker: I figure she stumbled on Trinket (an early state-made chimera), tried to learn how to fix him, and so ended up roped into that research division to keep her from blabbing. A lot of her research focused on healing and accelerating growth, and she has a knack for using every ounce of power offered by Equivalent Exchange; as a result it was easy enough to slot her in with the team creating viable human-animal chimeras - the people who originally fucked up Trinket. By that point, it's too late to get out. So she has a lot of Guilt <3 Elaina died either to plague (like Trisha Elric) or got burnt in one of those staged conflicts to get souls/blood for the nation-wide array. Vax gets to snipe up bits of Hughes, Havoc and Nina's roles in the story: I'm unsure of if he's been used to keep Vex in line before, but he certainly gets fucked up by Lust. I'm unsure if the military then steal him away and turn him into a chimera, or if Vex is forced to do that to her own brother to keep him alive. I really want to include some thematic nod to 'take me instead you raven bitch', though, so. Help?

Nixing the up-and-coming Colonel being the Flame Alchemist also impacts Percy's role: I knew I wanted him to be tattooed with secrets like Riza (if you cant tell from Get your hands dirty, I love the concept), but without Flame Alchemy, what could be worth hiding? After some fanangling, I decided that the de Rolos have a decent lineage of military service, especially as State Alchemists, and though Percy never showed the knack for the magic aspect he grasps the theory very well (and instead tinkered with guns). So, as the spare, he offered to get the family's research tattooed on his back. Least he could do - until the estate was swarmed and everyone was killed by some fuckers and Percy was tortured for the code to the notes on his back. Envy (Dewiwah) and Dr.Ripley were behind most of it, with Delilah taking on the faces of people Percy knew both to get her foot in the castle and to torment him. He joined the military in an attempt to protect himself, only to slowly start figuring out that they were the ones who ordered the hit, at which point he stages a lab accident and has Vex heal his back juuust enough to maintain functionality but otherwise ensuring it scars. I'm suspecting the secret was either that his family stumbled on the nation-wide array or something that put Father's plan in huge hot water. Cass is probably a hostage-ward of the Briarwoods and might not know Delilah is responsible for anything given her changing face :D