#vent; delete later

[khamomile-kitty]

well I got energy to start writing again, got ready to do it, then immediately got hit by a wave of depression that smashed it. I swear to god the universe hates to see my creativity and I’m p sick of it

[lumidotexe]

niche interest

[factual-fantasy]

Here is your reminder that the Octonauts fandom is going to be PATIENT, will RESPECT your boundaries, will WAIT for your possible return to the fandom, and will NOT pressure you into anything. Any Octonauts fan that does otherwise should not count, because they clearly do not know what it means to be an Octonaut.

An Octonaut is patient, kind, helpful, and respectful, even if things don't go the way they want it specifically. They will care for the creatures(in this case, people) that come to them regardless of how they want their day to go.

Octonauts are selfless; they do not let what they WANT get in the way of what others NEED. They do not prioritize themselves over others. If you never return to the fandom again, THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE. Because that is what I'd best for YOU. It may disappoint some, but as long as you are safe, happy, and healthy, it should not matter what people WANT out of YOU and YOUR art.

If you do decide to come back to us, then we welcome you with open arms. There aren't enough of us to form an overall opinion about the fandom, and sadly bad experiences can taint the entire look of our community.

Trust me, I've had PLENTY of bad experiences myself(probably TMI, but I once had someone DM me to roleplay something where them as Captain Barnacles had insomnia, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a crap ton of other things and I as Shellington had to comfort him and whatnot. And then Captain Barnacles got his arm ripped off and they never messaged me again. This was on WATTPAD. They have since removed DMs, and I can see why. So bad experiences can definitely ruin one's image of the fandom.)

But if you enjoy the Octonauts and that's what you want to draw, don't let idiots stop you!! Octonauts do not discriminate and any hateful person who calls themself an Octonaut never truly learned what it means to explore, rescue, and protect.

An Octonaut is meant to protect and care for their communities, and unnecessary aggression or rude comments should not be tolerated!!! Not by you or by us! Guilt tripping is not good either!

AND: Remember to drink water, eat food, get some rest, and take time for yourself! Have a lovely day/night factual :3

<XD The Octonauts fandom is a tough subject for me for a lot of reasons.. I guess now would be a decent time to finally open up about some of it..

To start, I have had more art theft/reposters, art tracers, copying/heavily adopting all my headcannon/design choices.. in the Octonauts fandom, more than every other fandom combined. Including FNAF. 70% of the time when someone shows me an account that has reposted my art? Its one of my Octonauts comics.

I'm pretty protective of my work and I like to keep things to myself, so having all of these happen so frequently in this fandom has kind'a spooked me away..

And I get it, the fandom is not that big. Chances are when someone has a different/unique/good idea, everyone is going to adopt it into their Octonauts universe. I get it.. but that doesn't stop me from feeling really uncomfortable about posting Octonauts artwork. And I also get that a lot of the people in the Octonauts fandom are really young and don't realize that reposting is theft, or that blatant tracing is theft. That doesn't stop it from being really frustrating to see and very discouraging.. especially when you say "hey, you traced my artwork, please don't do that.." they just straight up don't listen 💀

What's frustrating is that despite not having posted anything Octonauts related in a long time, I STILL deal with constant theft and art tracers. I had to block a few recently after they denied clearly tracing my art and refused to take anything down.

Not even to mention the people who have bashed me for not head cannoning Kwazii or Calico jack as trans.. I totally understand that its a widely accepted headcannon, but my Jack is just a rare male calico and Kwazii is a regular male tabby/calico mix. The constant "why dont you draw kwazii with top scars?? are you a transphobe?? stop misgendering kwazii he's trans!!" is really annoying..

Another thing that really bothers me is the constant crab comic asks. Despite explaining multiple times that I do not want to continue drawing that comic, I still get constant asks like this,👇

This was sent after a simple eye study of the Octonauts. And it said that I'm still on the fence about Octonauts. What part of that post makes you think I'm gonna go back to the crab comic?

I understand that a lot of these people are young and just don't understand that all this stuff is wrong or could be making me uncomfortable. But currently I just don't have the patience to deal with all this junk.. So until I can get my patience back or find a work around for this, Octonauts is officially back on the shelf. 😔

[ossy-serenity]

Comfort

continuation here

[artsymeeshee]

one of those nights

[firexima]

Technoblade grief is hitting again and I just wanna talk about it a bit somewhere so if you don’t wanna read about it, please scroll away. I’m not really writing this with the intention of anyone to read it anyways but I want it to be out there somewhere and just get it out.

I guess I just came to the realization that all this time I only mostly became ok with it because subconsciously it’s like I’m waiting for him and I am fine with waiting but it really just hit me to know that no matter what, he’s never coming back.

There are so many possibilities and so many variables and there’s so many chances for all the little things— like there’s a certain probability that my towel will fall to the floor when I close the door or there’s a certain probability that I’ll get a Rubik’s cube right if I keep twisting it around eventually or even a probability that I’ll get hit by lightning. The world is full of so many probabilities even if they are minuscule but never once in all of those probabilities is there a chance for him to be back even just once.

I always thought about how large infinity is but I thought about it in the sense of immortality or how big something would be— now I am thinking about it in the sense that I could wait and live for eternity and he still would never exist again. I could freeze myself and be thawed out in hundreds or thousands of years in the future and still he will be gone.

In my head things that were everlasting were always fictional. I associated it with things like vampires or hypotheticals like a hotel with infinite rooms that could never exist because infinity like that could never be real. It’s just hard to comprehend that death is the one thing that is everlasting and Technoblade is and will forever be dead. It still just doesn’t feel real.

It doesn’t matter what I do or how much I accomplish or change or what happens in the world, nothing will ever bring him back. I’m used to nothing really being permanent and it’s just taking a lot of time to swallow and come to terms with just how permanent death is.

I don’t know if I’ll ever fully process it.

[mermaidgirl30]

Not trying to be a downer on main, but no one talks enough about how lonely it is to be surrounded by people who are getting married, having children, buying houses with their soulmates, and then you’re just here single for years. And let me tell you, some nights are very tough. Dating these days is insanely hard, and being alone for years can feel extremely lonely. Writing is a way I get past a lot of my loneliness and emotions, and I’m just very thankful to have this outlet 🥹

[artsyaxolotl]

I sincerely appreciate those of you who are here. Seriously. Your love means the world to me. I'm just so tired.

[gougarfem]

today in therapy (at a rape crisis centre) i spoke about something that i've never been able to before. my therapist told me a few minutes later it sounds like i'm transgender and should try a chest binder. when i told her i identified as trans most of my life detransitioned after being on hormones, she couldn't understand why i would go back to being female. the implication - a damaged, self-hating female. i feel betrayed, like she broke my trust in some way after i told her the most horrific thing i went through. it took a long time to be able to say this and i'm still a little ashamed to discuss it online but i'm a csa survivor with chronic pain and scarring in my genitals as a result. of course i want to escape my body. of course i hate my curves and breasts. does that make me less of a woman? is binding my chest, causing pain and breathlessness, the solution instead of punishing the men who hurt me? how many other girls are told the same thing as me and don't have the knowledge and experience i do? i'm so upset.

[spadillelicious]

Cw: vent

Feeling intensely anxious about posting today’s chapter… I need to think it over a bit before I decide if I really can post it today… Because right now it just feels like the self-imposed pressure is overwhelming for me…

I really don’t want to disappoint anyone by not posting but I don’t want to post something I’m not happy with either… I’m really sorry, we’ll see if things feel better in a couple of hours.

[kayceecruz]

Every time I see some psychotic post about Luke Newton hanging out with friends, mind you at a pool or someone's house, the same friends that he has apparently had for years, after spending 18 months with his life on hold, and it being seen as him being inappropriate or not "hanging out with the right people" while Nicola is praised for DOING EXACTLY THE SAME THING I want to fucking scream. (I love it for both of them. Live your lives, babies!)

The dude is doing nothing wrong. Not one thing. He isn't engaging with the crazy. He is still posting when relevant. He is refusing to give people a look at his personal life (gee I wonder why). He is relaxing before starting to shoot again. He is playing fortnite with his friends, ffs, that's like his jam (I understand cause SAME BRO that's my preferred Saturday night).

And y'all out there lowkey calling him stupid or wrong or now saying he isn't good enough or trying to insinuate his friends/ castmates don't like him because you are fucking awful people.

JFC.

[saintobio]

hello am still alive but the corporate hustle is sucking the life out of me. i’m sorry sy11 is taking awhile but i’ll try to find time whenever i can 🥹

[dooblebugss]

My message to everyone bashing team cherry is to make their own fucking game then, if you're so pissy about it

[sweetdarling27]

*Googles “How to move on from someone you quickly became obsessed with but they threw you away no glue no borax.”*

[biscuitboba]

No but seeing some people obsessing over the idea of zoro turning his back against luffy at the end of one piece is so CRAZYY to me, i can't even tell if they are being serious or not- like are we reading/watching the same thing? Are we talking about the same roronoa zoro??

THE RORONOA ZORO???

Roronoa zoro who is willing to die and sacrifice his ambition (even throwing away his precious possessions) for his captain?

Roronoa zoro who is prideful but willing to bow/get down on his knees, throw aside his pride and BEG for his captain's sake??

Roronoa zoro who is (always) willing to follow his captain's orders... "if my captain gives the order, i'll just follow" ???

Roronoa zoro who is willing to follow his dear captain to hell? The one who always worries about his captain even though his captain is very strong, the one who always watches over his captain, stands by his side and protects him????

Roronoa zoro whose more than 70% of his smiles and laughters are caused by his captain?? The one who's dream have already merged with his captain's- so deep, to the point of it's already inseparable?????

I legitimately can't imagine zoro betraying luffy at the end of one piece like the idea's so unthinkable? Soo unfathomable that i think zoro'd rather commit harakiri than betray his own captain. I think that would also betray his characterization?? Oda might as well say that someone possessed zoro or he was replaced by another character.

(Also if u want zoro lowkey betraying/abandoning/leaving(?) his captain, we already have One Piece: The Cursed Holy Sword???)

[aw-tysm]

Some people don't seem to understand what I mean when I say "being average or below average" with skills.

One skill that everyone loves to talk up is "pattern recognition". And although it may be a skill I'm decent or good at, it doesn't mean my skill is of use to others.

Imagine taking exams. The exams are marked out of 100. You have an exam for maths, science, English.

In English and science, you may get 65-75/100. But in maths you get 90/100.

One may say that maths is a strong skill for you.

I take these same tests. And in English and science I get 15-25/100. But in maths, I get 35/100.

One may say that maths is a strong skill for me.

But when you compare my exam results to others, they are not comparable. They are not useful. Just bcus I have a stronger skill in maths doesn't mean that I can use that skill anywhere else.

This is the same for skills that people like to say autistics have.

It may be a personally strong skill for me, but it does not make it a useful skill to others. It does not make it a viable skill in workplaces either.

It is important to recognise that some skills may be a personal strength but they are not necessarily a strength to society.