I'm sorry u guys, I know I shouldn't (or shouldn't have to) apologize... but I just feel as if this space has been (nearly entirely) robbed from me, in numerous ways, for so long & I've said nothing + constantly feel as though I have to walk on eggshells/ put on a little dance in order to please everyone, but myself... So I'm sorry, again, if this is all so veryy annoying, but... like I said, I've just held it all in for the longest + constantly see everyone else talking about how this is like their own little space/journal & they get to freely express themselves (for the most part) without harsh retaliation/judgement... And honestly,... I don't think I've ever reallyy been afforded that, on this site... Now it's all kind of coming to a head & I know I'm gonna receive a bajillion more hate messages saying that I'm being obnoxious & annoying, and awful, etc. etc. (prob far worse)) + that it's for the best that I'm leaving... but. Just thought that maybe (for Onceee) I could be allowed to express just a tiny portion of what I've been feeling, before I step away for a bit..
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IHAVE A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITJ MY MOTHER!!!!! IT DOES NOT DEEPLY WARP MY SENSE OF SELF WORTH AND FUTURE RELATIONSHIPS.!!!!
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i need to stop listening to love songs and wishing for something im not ready for and might never be
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people love to be like “i’d totally never disrespect someone’s pronouns but let me explain in detail how much i hate it when someone asks me to use it/its for them because they weren’t meant to be used on humans and it makes me sooooo uncomfy :(((“ on any post mentioning using those pronouns. like wow thanks! can you go away
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A few sketches :)
I promise I'm fine lol, just on my period and having some ✨hormones✨ that are fuckin with my ✨mental illness✨. Needed to draw
((bases heh: https://patreon.com/okojochan))
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watching my whole family dynamic fall apart was not on my 2024 bingo card
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oh my god can this goddamn tinder guy just confirm with me if he's free on the weekend it'll take 2 seconds 😭😭 lemme know if i can suck ur dick or not homie 😫
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im,, hm
i need to vent for a sec so if you dont wanna see just .. yeah
i have been told a lot, by my parents, by mental health professionals that my abuser has BPD, and that caused them to abuse me
now, i certainly dont believe that all people with BPD will abuse people, everyone just told me to take it as an explanation, not an excuse, but an explanation
and now we're confused because, seeing these posts about mental illness not like, contributing to abuse
we dont feel comfortable sharing like, details, but our abuser was the same age as us, aka a child, so its so easy for people to basically explain away her abuse, "not excuse it" they always say "just explains it"
what other explanation is there? (rhetorical) its really complicated because she's done so much work on herself, and we're living with her again, and she says she's changed and she has changed. but if the mental illness didn' contribute,,, she's not evil, she's not inherently bad.
she just, hurt us, as an outlet, for her mental illness, i think.
ugh, this whole situation is triggering so many of our past traumas and we thought we'd be fine but like, almost every single Situation is being triggered ToT
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Hate it when i cant listen to a song anymore becuz it reminds me of. things.
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so long, amigos
I've hit rock bottom mentally, so an official break is needed. It won't be really long, no worries.
I really wanted to hold this off but I'm tired. But just you wait, I'll be back with the secret to happiness <3
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