#verbality discourse

[system-of-a-feather]

I think there is a lot of an issue with gatekeeping and term policing around terms expressing an individual's ability to use certain words around verbality and a lot of implied hierarchy of speaking-issues needs within the CDD community particularly. I fully understand the issues with verbal and semi-verbal people taking up the space and making it hard to find resources for non-verbal people; but I do think rhetoric, method of discussion, discourse, and advocacy has more or less created this pressure of "are you speaking-impaired enough" and "my struggle is real and yours is 'just' a trauma side effect" sort of underlying subtext in how a lot of these discussions are handled.

I think the discussion on the usage of words like non-verbal and semi-verbal is incredibly important, especially for a community that is so frequently Literally Talked Over; but I also think we need to be mindful of not making this into something invalidating of systems and parts that have significant speaking issues.

Yes it is different to be a part that can not speak with parts that can speak than it is to be a person who can never speak no matter what.

Yes those experiences are absolutely different, but parts who can not speak in a system / whole that can still have significant struggles and experiences in life that can be shared with individuals with speaking issues / non-verbal and semi-verbal individuals.

Those parts are not immune from experiencing discrimination in a verbal and speaking world and treating parts that are not able to speak in a system that is like "verbal people choosing to be unable to speak" or "verbal people with no idea what it is like to have significant issues speaking" is both very invalidating and not productive to the discussion of challenges individual who are unreliably-speaking and have speaking issues face in a largely verbal society.

I personally don't care too much about the verbage itself nor do I really know my place in the discussion, particularly in the imposed hierarchy as a system with parts that can speak, but with a large majority of our parts that are unable to speak and/or have signficiant speaking issues + Language Processing Disorder + Autism.

I was just expressing the challenges I as a part have with being motivated to allow people to perceive me and for me, as a part, to attend therapy is the expectation to be verbal and the immediate judgement that people make and assume when I can't speak. Me and our side system's experience of navigating a world that expects us to speak is not the experiences of a fully verbal individual.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I think we should stop talking about verbality in relation to CDD systems as a "verbal vs not verbal" and more as a spectrum of individuals with speaking issues and I also think we should stop minimizing the struggles of individuals with selective mutism and/or treating those individuals like they are "basically verbal."

[gillipop-plus]

does anyone have any records/evidence of nonverbal being a term for a permanent state then getting co-opted by people experiencing verbal shutdowns? i realized i've never seen a source

i'm completely on board with it being a permanent thing for the record, i just struggle to follow rules without a good reason/evidence, and i figure it would also just be good to have on hand to link to people who use the term "going nonverbal" (i'm verbal myself and probably not the best person to explain)

sorry if this is worded disrespectfully, let me know if there's anything i've said wrong and i'll fix it

edit: forgot about this post. i found an explanation since then

[zebulontheplanet]

I’m gonna say this once, and it’s probably gonna piss off a lot of people.

I HATE the term “verbalflux” why? Because it was created by a person who believed that you could fluctuate between demiverbal, semiverbal, and nonverbal. That is NOT how it works.

You’re semiverbal or you’re not. You’re nonverbal or you’re not. Your verbality can NOT fluctuate like that.

I don’t mind if people use it in the sense that their verbality itself fluctuates and they feel like a label doesn’t fit them. But if you’re using it to describe that you fluctuate between Demi/semi/nonverbal? No. Just no.

Semiverbal and nonverbal are permanent states. They are EVERYDAY. They are every second. They are your entire being. Stop saying you can fluctuate between them because you’re just confusing people and misusing our terms.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

glimmadora vs catradora: making mistakes and taking responsibility

when glimmer hurt adora, adora was allowed to stay mad at glimmer. she was allowed to prioritize her own feelings and not worry about trying to stay on glimmer's good side.

and when glimmer hurt adora, glimmer took the initiative to try and apologize to adora multiple times. she immediately recognized her mistake and felt terribly guilty for what she said. and while she did initially get annoyed after adora ignored her attempts at apology, she still made sure to properly apologize afterwards.

when catra hurts adora, adora is always the one who has to seek out catra and apologize to her or try to console her. adora was never the one at fault in these scenarios, yet she always had to be the bigger person and disregard her own feelings in favor of catra's.

and when catra hurts adora, catra never acknowledges her mistake. she never even looks guilty, let alone try to apologize to adora or make amends. she goes off to sulk because she knows that adora would eventually give in and apologize for something that isn't her fault.

and then the one time catra does make the initiative to seek out adora after a fight, this is what she says:

keep in mind, this was after catra abandoned adora. but sure, glimmadora is toxic.

[anghraine]

Nothing like attempting basic division to sharpen my hatred of "everyone is mentally disabled in their own way :) don't let labels define you :) :)" anti psych posts

[mewpirate]

What is one controversial opinion that will get you jumped , whether it be a certain wiki character , the wiki itself , (maybe the Heykids wiki too itself if you wanna count that in ) , or just anything about the fandom that you wish to see improvement on 🤔🧐

[bamber344]

atla fic writers write a fic about katara being with someone other than aang without making aang into some horrible monster that's so out of character you might as well be writing an OC challenge (impossible)

[synchodai]

Posting this since I'm seeing a lot of posts asking how Aegon could even control his dragon without knowing High Valyrian.

Answer: A dragonrider doesn't need to know Valyrian to control their dragon. Targaryens using High Valyrian to command their dragon is mostly just...someone training their French bulldog with French commands to keep it "authentic."

In the book, there are many dragonriders who don't know a lick of Valyrian who can control their dragon no problem. Even the popularized "dracarys" seems to be a Dany invention and not necessarily an established command amongst all dragonriders:

"Your Grace. I am sorry to disturb your sleep." "I was not sleeping, ser. Come and watch." [...] "Drogon," Dany said softly, "dracarys." And she tossed the pork in the air. Drogon moved quicker than a striking cobra. Flame roared from his mouth, orange and scarlet and black, searing the meat before it began to fall. [...] "So I see. Dracarys?" All three dragons turned their heads at the sound of that word and Viserion let loose with a blast of pale gold flame that made Ser Jorah take a hasty step backward. Dany giggled. "Be careful with that word, ser, or they're like to singe your beard off. It means 'dragonfire' in High Valyrian. I wanted to choose a command that no one was like to utter by chance." - A Storm of Swords, Chapter 8

[the-voice-of-night-vale]

now im not saying anything about whether or not you ~should~ vote for the immigrant-hating palestinian-killer who happens to be a "democrat" but i swear if i see one more post about how "if everyone had just voted! trump never would have gotten in office and we don't want that to happen again!!" i'm gonna go chimp mode

trump didn't even win the popular vote, you idiots. am i the only one who remembers the weeks of protests because of it?

[vfdinthewild]

A Vigorous, Forthright Declaration

A few weeks ago, this blog turned ten (10!) years old. If you have submitted, liked, reblogged, or just plain enjoyed seeing these VFDs over the past decade, thank you for your attention and contributions to this weird little chronicle I've kept.

Your very fervent devotee,

VFDinthewild

[soullessjack]

“kids and toddlers can be autistic too” yea no shit sherlock! I was both of those at one point in time and that’s why I even have this blog to begin with. the problem is you are constantly making a canon 20-something year old into that toddler and in the vast majority of this content his autism isn’t even noticeable in the backdrop of normal toddler behaviors and traits.

not even getting into how limited everything is for autistic/disabled adults in general, including representation in media that doesn’t make us into bad jokes or tall children. cough cough. read tags also.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

oh, and did i mention attempted murder?

as you can tell, i'm gonna be using this meme format a lot

[bluegoblinfox]

Non verbal or not non verbal?

I've really struggled to express this and why I am having difficulty with not using the term become non-verbal. I'm gen x and I'm trying to understand. Please be kind.

This it's been a part of my life always really. It's just when it got to this point I would hide away my own. It wasn't really an issue in my day-to-day life because I was masking so much. However I would burn out and need to take days and days off work to recover on I've regular basis. Places of work don't like this.

When my daughter was unwell and I was caring for her full time and intensively, I became very burnt out. I Began noticing that I would start to do what I called- loose my words. It would be like there was a fog in my brain between what I was thinking and feeling and putting that into language and then expressing that in words. At its best this would just be a verbal difficulty and at its worse I couldn't communicate in writing either.

When my daughter hit crisis, so did I. When she went into a crisis house and then went into a psychiatric unit, I began to notice the periods of me having difficulty expressing myself with words was becoming more frequent. As I said at best this was a shutdown verbally and at worse it was an inability to communicate using language at all.

It seems like the more stressed I was, the more stressful the situation was, the more emotive situation was and the more communicating I needed to do, the more difficulty communicating I had.

I still have these issues. I can feel them coming on most of the time. When it's all getting too much and I'm shutting down and my communication ability shuts down too. I still use the phrase losing words. However most people don't understand what that means and what it means for me.

I have used the phrase becoming non-verbal to describe my difficulties during these periods. I have recently read on Tumblr from people who are non-verbal all of the time that this is offensive. I don't fully understand at the moment why that is but I want to understand.

I don't feel the term semi verbal quite describes me as the majority of the time I can communicate using my voice and typing. I don't feel the term selective mute is an adequate definition of what it is I experience. I don't know I could be wrong on this.

I don't want to use language which detracts from other autistic's experiences or obstructs understanding. I do however need to use words that other people generally are able to understand the meaning of.

I think discourse is important. It is vital to establish a shared and precise comprehension of the meanings of words. It is equally important to grasp their significance within different social groups. These meanings contribute to the associated ideas, assumptions, and stereotypes related to those words. The common understanding of these words and any prevalent stereotypical beliefs associated with the group they describe can unfortunately result in discrimination and prejudiced actions.

However I don't believe in the gatekeeping of terms, definitions, labels, over who can use them.

I am queer and there are many definitions of what that means. However generally it means not cis-heterosexual.

Queerness like autism is a spectrum consisting of many parts. My queerness is more evident in some parts of my life and less so in others. My autism is impacts me to different degrees in different areas of my life. I am 100% autistic and I am 100% queer. Both those labels apply to me as an individual, as ways of describing my gender identity and sexuality succinctly and as a way of describing my neurotype succinctly.

People are argue all the time about who has the right to use these labels. I don't care if you are self-diagnosed autistic I think that is just as valid as a diagnostic label. I don't care why or for how long or when you decide that you identify as queer. It is just as valid to decide that you are queer in your teens or when you're 50.

I experience not being able to use language verbally at times. I don't understand at present why it would be offensive or wrong for me to say I experience becoming non-verbal at times. As this is a succinct and well understood way of describing this experience in a way that others can understand.

If someone can explain this issue to me in a way that makes sense and can suggest another way of me explaining my experience and getting my point across regarding my support needs to people in general without saying I have periods where I am non-verbal, then I will stop using that term.

[lukaskyle-moved]

sometimes you gotta type out a post where you're being a huge hater then just delete it. it actually helps so much

[sroloc--elbisivni]

not to like. have a hot take about discourse on main but i've been thinking recently about how singularly unhelpful it is to gauge 'good representation' based on personal experience. to use a real example, i'm trans, and i don't consider myself as having a deadname. i vastly prefer using a chosen name in public or a professional environment but generally, for close friends and family and paperwork reasons, i'm fine with answering to my birthname. they're both my names. notice i'm NOT saying 'and therefore anyone who anyone who writes a character who has a deadname is bad rep because it doesn't align with my experience.' and i am ALSO not saying 'therefore i should not expect to see my own experiences depicted in fiction because it is Bad Representation.' just like. there are more things in heaven and earth horatio than are dreamt of in your lived experience. 'bad representation' is kind of meaningless as a phrase to me now because of how often i see it used by someone decrying something that doesn't align with their own life.

[vfdinthewild]

LOVE the show, love the books, love your Tumblr. A Very Fun Day to you. Happy new year!

Thank you! Wishing a vastly fortunate day to you too!