#very very excited that the hamburg show is in one month

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

i've come ready for a war

[look-at-the-soul]

A new kind of love 🐾

Tommy Shelby x Reader one shot

🐾 I wrote this story as part of my 900 followers celebration 🥰 as you know by now, one of my dogs (and light of my life) got sick with pancreatitis back in December and my baby girl was hospitalized at the vets clinic for two nights, she had never been sick before and it felt horrible to not have her home, she’s doing so much better now, taking her meds so well and back to her usual self 💞 around those days I reached 900 followers which is crazy so I thought that making a celebration involving pups would be a good idea, and so far, I’m quite happy with the response! Thank you all for keeping her (us) in your thoughts!

Warnings: none just this got a bit longer than I expected 🐶👑

“Charlie?” You looked at him through the rear view mirror, he was so serious, so unlike the chatty little boy he usually was.

He flicked his green eyes at you, uninterested.

“Do you want to get something to eat? I could stop on the way back home for a hamburger or”

But he really wasn’t in the mood. “No, I like what Frances cooks.”

“Do you want to tell me how did school go?”

“Fine.”

Turning off the music from the car, you tried to find a way to get more information from Tommy’s son.

“Do you need to buy anything for your homework?”

“Nope.”

He was harder than his father, at least with Tommy you could bat your lashes, or make him talk during sex, but the same technique couldn’t be used with Charlie.

“How about you invite Daniel on Saturday, we can go to the country house and ride the horses?” You proposed.

But Charlie’s face showed you sadness instead of the excited reaction you were hoping for.

“Daniel is not my friend anymore.” Charlie stated looking down.

His tone worried you. Passing your arm to the seats behind, you offered your hand to him. Charlie doubted at first, but his little hand reached yours.

You cared about him deeply, after losing his mother and the long hours his father worked, you couldn’t help but get attached to him, he was a great child and it was a natural thing to love him.

“How about we go for a walk?” You proposed pulling over in an empty parking spot, changing your original plans to go back home. There was a small stream close, a spot you found by chance in one of your daily runs.

Charlie sighed, nevertheless he walked by your side in silence.

“I come here every time I need to clear my head, people don’t seem to stop by very often.” You pointed out gently after a few moments.

Leaning on the small bridge, you thought it had been a while since you visited this place.

“Don’t tell your Dad I do this or he will send one of his bodyguards with me.” You joked earning a surprised look from Charlie.

“My Dad doesn’t know about this place?”

“Nope, he’s too loud for this peace.” You winked. “Should we keep this as a secret for us?”

Charlie nodded throwing a rock to the water.

“Daniel told me his Dad got a girlfriend after his parents divorced and she’s mean to him and threatened to send him to school overseas.” Charlie confessed after sitting on the edge of the bridge next to you.

His confession took you by surprise, why was his serious attitude related?

“Y/N… would you send me overseas? If I piss you off?” You saw him rubbing his leg, the wind moving his blonde hair.

Suddenly it clicked in your mind.

Tommy and you got married a few months ago after dating for two years, Charlie had the time of his life at the wedding, since the beginning he was the most adorable bonus child you could ask for, he stole your heart from the very first time Tommy cooked for you in his country house and Charlie was so excited to show you the reading room his father made for him.

Touching his shoulders gently, you moved him to face you.

“Charlie has your Dad ever raised a hand on you?” You saw him shaking his head. “Has he ever lose his temper with you?” Again, the same answer. “He shouts at other people, yes, but he has never put a hand on you… just like him, I could never do anything to hurt you, because I love you.” It broke your heart to see the tears accumulating in his beautiful eyes. Gently you wiped them away from his cheeks. “I would never send you somewhere else. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

Bringing him close to your chest, you rocked his body from side to side.

“I want you to always trust me okay? And I need you to understand that I would never do anything to get in the middle between you and your Dad.”

“Daniel told me you would be just like his step mum and he laughed when I told him you were the coolest.”

“Daniel is fighting his own battle, and unfortunately we hurt people in the process, but you don’t have to worry abou-”

Your words were interrupted by something moving behind Charlie.

“What’s that?” He asked turning around to see better.

A little creature appeared sniffing around.

“It’s a doggie!” He shouted and tried to get close to the animal, but you pulled him apart.

He was small, but he could be dangerous or hurt Charlie.

Taking off your sweater, you wrapped it around the muddy pet, feeling it shake and wriggle under your arms.

“Where did it come from?” Charlie asked walking next to you, trying to keep up on your way back to your vehicle.

“I don’t know, looks like this little friend got lost.”

“Can we keep him?”

Reaching your car, you took one of the boxes you bought to use as storage for the Christmas decorations you just took down.

“Charlie, the owners will probably want their pet back, first we’re stopping at the vet.”

Taking the dog to the vet, they informed you it was a female Yorkshire Terrier, little over a year old probably and seemed to be in a good condition. But as you tried to look for a number you realized there was no necklace.

“What if they never look for her, Y/N?” Charlie asked looking over at the dog resting in the box curled on your sweater. You left your number at the vet’s clinic in case someone asked for a lost dog.

Stopping the car in front of the house you were more worried about Tommy’s reaction.

“We’ve to keep trying buddy.”

“But Y/N, we rescued her.” Charlie pouted again.

“I know sweetheart, first we need to give her a bath, so go to the kitchen and bring me a bowl, I’ll meet you in your room.”

“Mrs. Shelby would you like me t-” but the maid stopped mid sentence when she looked at something moving in your arms. “Prepare you something to eat?”

“Just a sandwich Frances, please.” As she kept her eyes locked in your arms, you explained. “Let me handle Mr. Shelby, you didn’t see anything.”

But your answer and wink worried her even more.

“I’m afraid of his reaction.” Frances stated.

“Relax Frances, is only a tiny pup, Tommy has worse problems than this.” You tried to hide your nerves. “He won’t even notice.”

But he did notice when you rushed out of your bedroom with the front of your blouse wet holding the hairdryer in your hands.

And now he was pacing from one side to another as you and Charlie were seating at the last step of the stairs. While he scolded you both.

“What was I supposed to do? Leave the poor dog there? Or at the vet?”

The dog sneezed, probably from the bath, but as you and Charlie told her Bless you, Tommy rolled his eyes.

Tommy looked down at you, hands on his hips, his cigarette hanging from his lips.

He knew that look in your eyes so well for your own good. It wasn’t only that his son wanted to keep the dog, you wanted as well.

“How many times do I have to tell you we can’t keep the dog?”

The small Yorkie yawned as Charlie tried to cover her ears.

“But Dad is small, she will be good.”

But Tommy was already shaking his head.

“We have to find a way to give it back to the owners.” Tommy stated as if he was planning his next move in a business.

“No! If they wanted her, they would’ve taken care of her.”

“Don’t raise your voice.” Tommy pointed his cigarette at his son. “We can’t -“

“You’re mean! You don’t want me to be happy!”

You were torn between comforting Charlie or calming Tommy as the kid went outside.

Sighting, you tried to reason with him.

“What damage could a small dog like that cause?” You touched his tie, deliberately playing with it. “I think it could benefit Charlie.”

“What if the owners want the dog back? Have you considered that Y/N?” He asked walking inside his office. You following his steps.

That seemed to take you by surprise, Charlie had been very adamant of the fact that the fluffy dog found you both.

“Unfortunately for the owner, there’s no phone and name…” You knew you had to choose your battles carefully, but you also knew you were on Charlie’s side in this one. “We can’t give it back without it.”

“We’re so busy all the time,” he tried to make you see his point, “dogs need time, patience, effort… who’s going to clean up the mess? And don’t think of Frances, she’s already busy.”

“I can help.”

“Food, daily walks, vet check ups, we can hardly keep up with everything we do, Y/N.” Groaning, he leaned back on his chair. “I’ve a zoom meeting with a vendor in China.”

Truth is his meeting got delayed, but Charlie’s words were on repeat inside of his head.

He didn’t want his son to look at him as a monster who didn’t care.

But having a dog wasn’t part of his plans either.

Pouring himself a drink, Tommy looked at the window, to the front garden. He could’ve gotten the penthouse, but you chose this one because you fell in love with the view to the fountain and garden.

Outside you joined Charlie and the dog as you allowed the small black creature to sniff on every flower. After a couple of seconds, Tommy saw his son posing with the dog in his arms, smiling for your phone camera as you clicked several times, trying to get the dog’s attention.

“Y/N, do you like dogs?”

“I do Charlie.” You answered while petting the adorable yorkie’s head, it had little parts of golden hair. “They’re one of the purest creatures out there. They give back all the love they get.”

“Why don’t you ask Dad to keep her?” Charlie asked as the dog licked the back of your hand, showing gratitude for the head scratches.

“Because your Dad doesn’t like dogs.”

“But he likes horses!” He folded his arms against his chest.

Motioning the boy to follow you back inside after spending the afternoon out, you told him; “Charlie is not nice what you said to your Dad, he wants you to be happy. You’ll need to apologize to him.”

“But is only a little dog.”

“Is not a toy, they’re a huge responsibility.” Running a hand gently over his head, you tried to ease the tension. “Maybe we can ask your Dad for a couple of days, while we find her family or someone who wants to adopt her. You can enjoy her as much as you want in the meantime.”

Charlie wasn’t convinced, but reluctantly he agreed. Over dinner, he kept asking endless questions about the dog, who wanted a bite of your food. And after helping him to pick up his things, you took the pup with you to the living room, in front of the fire, so Charlie could go to sleep. Tommy was still working locked in his office.

“Where did you come from ey?” You asked the cute pup, enjoying the soft hair against your palm. Using the brush you bought for her at the clinic, you brushed her hair, she seemed to enjoy the pampering session a lot, because once you stopped, she looked at you with pleading eyes and with her cold nose, tried to make your hand touch her again. “You’re so cute you know?”

It had been a long day, so you went to your room to change your clothes for something comfortable to sleep, taking your time to remove your make up as well, but as you went back, the little yorkie wasn’t sitting on the couch as you left her, no, she was curled in a ball next to Charlie, who brought his sleeping bag to the living room and the pair were sleeping together.

How could a small fluffy thing like that steal your heart in a blink?

It was a beautiful scene that melted your heart.

Tiptoeing into Tommy’s office, you pulled him by the hand without telling him anything.

“I didn’t have the heart to wake him up.” You turned then, to kiss Tommy on the cheek and left him to fight alone his own battle.

Several minutes passed by as Tommy stared at Charlie sleeping peacefully next to the dog, he couldn’t wake him up either. So instead, he took off his coat and placed it over the sleeping bag.

One brown eye spying on him, checking his every move, once she decided Tommy wouldn’t hurt them, she turned her back at him and with a loud sight, she got comfortable again against Charlie.

****

Saturday was the same, Charlie asking his father to let him keep the dog, Tommy ordering to let the dog locked in a room since he didn’t want any accidents on the carpets, if something was going to smell bad, it would be Charlie’s room.

The apartment was one more time, a battlefield. He got even more mad at you when he saw the dog wearing one of his socks as sweater, you took one with the pair missing and using some scissors, you opened three holes for the front paws and head, for the size it fitted her perfectly, but Tommy thought differently.

You though he was acting a little bit irrational and exaggerated, but by now, you knew him better than that, so you really tried to keep things as smooth as possible.

The following morning, Tommy woke up to an empty bed. It was something unusual that you were up before him, specially on a Sunday, but either way, he got ready but just as he was stepping out of your bedroom, he heard your voice.

“Look, we should be grateful that it will be us taking care of her at least for these days.”

Without making a noise, Tommy got closer to listen the conversation, staying outside of his son’s room.

“I just don’t understand, if she’s a good pet and alone in this world, why can’t she stay with us? I mean, I have you and Dad, and my aunts and uncles, and Frances! But she’s alone.” Charlie pouted showing his hand to the black and gold dog, as she stretched her neck, Charlie caressed her gold chest. “We should take her and go live somewhere else.”

You chuckled at his proposal, he simply didn’t care you were married to his father. Trying to keep the hair away from her face, you brushed it and did a little bun at the top of her head. She looked at you with those beautiful eyes.

“She has been a really good dog, to be honest, but Charlie, we can’t hold a daily fight with your father over it, he’s got his reasons and we need to do as he says.” The dog then walked over you and getting comfortable, she walked in circles three times only to then laying on your lap, she turned her belly at you.

“She likes you.” Charlie smiled as your fingers tickled her stomach.

“When they do this is because they feel secure.”

“When I grow up, I will buy my own house and have lots of doggies!”

Standing up, you asked him to keep an eye on the pup. Opening the bedroom door without a notice, and that’s when you found Tommy startled.

Playing with your necklace, you avoided his piercing blue eyes. “I hope you find someone soon, because it’s going to be harder…”

It was so hard for him to see you serious like that, he could tell you were getting attached.

Was he acting extremely strict? Selfish? Perhaps.

Frances announced he had a phone call waiting, so Tommy walked towards his office. Spending most of his time there, he could hear outside Charlie playing in the hall, other voices and laughs at times, focused on the email he was typing, he thanked Frances for the tea she brought at some point.

By the corner of his eyes, he saw the heavy door moving, but no one walked in, a little sound made him stop, looking suspicious at the door, if the windows were closed, why was the door moving?

Slowly, he took his gun from its holster, pointing it at the door, alert.

Then he heard a little cry, as he looked down, he found the small yorkie walking in, wriggling its tail and jumping excitedly towards him.

“Ah it’s only you, ey, was going to fucking shoot you.”

Standing up in her little back paws, the pup scratched his leg.

“What are ya doing here little rat? You don’t look like a real dog.”

As the dog looked at him with her bright brown eyes, he stared back, trying to scare her. But it didn’t work.

“Y/N really likes you, so does my son… they’re both a little off with me because of you.” He felt ridiculous talking to a dog, but she tilted her head to the side, as if she could understand what he was saying.

“Should I let you stay?”

Another head tilt.

“Your puppy eyes, do nothing to me, ey?”

A little whine came out from her, as she was trying to get comfortable on Tommy.

Walking out from his office, he found Polly chatting in the kitchen with you.

“I really don’t want to push anything Pol…”

Both of you stopped your conversation as Tommy appeared in the room, but it wasn’t because of him, you were surprised to see him holding the precious doggie against his chest.

“I found this little gatecrasher in my office.” Tommy cocked an eyebrow. “She asked me if she could stay with us permanently.”

“Y/N…” Charlie entered the kitchen looking pale, “I can’t find-” the kid gasped as his eyes found the puppy in his father’s arms.

Then, everything happened in slow motion; Tommy looked at the dog, and the dog looked back at him, then a pink little tongue could be seen and the pup licked Tommy’s cheek.

Polly’s hand dramatically came to rest over her mouth, while you held your breath.

But as you saw Tommy throwing his head back and letting out a loud laugh, your heart skipped a beat.

“I think that’s a yes,” he announced handing you the puppy. “But there will be some rules, though.”

Charlie started jumping around, he could barely hold his excitement.

“Listen to me carefully, you’ll take care of cleaning her mess, and she’ll need training…” Tommy warned, but Charlie wasn’t listening, his arms circled his father’s body.

“Thank you,thank you! I’m sorry I shouted.”

“I’m sorry too son.”

“Aunt Pol! Can we go and buy a bed? She needs a leash… oh! And a name too.”

As Charlie pulled Polly by the hand, you walked towards Tommy, smiling.

“Really? All I had to do to see you smile like that was getting a dog?”

“Thank you.” Your hands moved up and down his chest, kissing his cheek with a playful look.

“It doesn’t sound like you’re extra grateful you know?” He joked winking at you, pulling your hips towards him, kissing you with passion.

Until a little bark interrupted your kiss.

“You already know the love you feel for Charlie, and it’s different from the kind of love you feel for me.” You told Tommy. “But now you will learn about a different kind of love.”

“Really? You think a dog will love me?” You smiled at his doubts, he really didn’t know.

“Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t know we had.”

****

Master list

A/N: if you made it this far, thank you!!!! ♥️ it means a lot, I hope you enjoyed this pup celebration as much as I did!

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @gypsy-girl-08 @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @strayrockette @the-forest-witchh @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @zablife @peakyscillian @evita-shelby @raincoffeeandfandoms @midnightmagpiemama @moral-terpitude @babaohhhriley @ange-thoughts @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @cilliansangel @rangerelik

[black-arcana]

Ex-NIGHTWISH Members TARJA TURUNEN And MARKO HIETALA Announce September 2024 European Tour

Following a triumphant series of performances in South America with several sold-out gigs where Marko Hietala joined Tarja Turunen as a special guest, the two former NIGHTWISH members are set to captivate European audiences with their enthralling collaboration.

The European trek, which will kick off in September in Germany, promises to be an unforgettable experience as these two familiar voices reunite on stage once again.

Tarja recently released her first greatest-hits album "Best Of Tarja - Living The Dream". Her live show will feature a selection of songs from her career, also found on "Best Of", including fan favorites and her own personal picks.

Adding to the excitement, Marko and Tarja recently collaborated on the duet single "Left On Mars", which received widespread acclaim.

Marko will perform his own songs with his band before joining Tarja on stage for a night that promises to be nothing short of memorable.

Expectations are high as the duo continues to delight fans with both old and new songs, building on the success of their South American tour.

Tarja and Marko's "Living The Dream Together Tour 2024" European dates:

Sep. 08 - DE Berlin - Huxleys Neue Welt Sep. 09 - DE Bremen - Aladin Music Hall Sep. 10 - DE Saarbrücken - Garage Sep. 12 - DE Leipzig - Hellraiser Sep. 13 - DE Hamburg - Grünspan Sep. 14 - DE Herford - Kulturwerk Sep. 16 - NL Groningen - De Oosterpoor Sep. 17 - NL Utrecht - Tivoli Vredenburg (Ronda) Sep. 18 - DE Bochum - Matrix Sep. 20 - DE Ulm - Roxy Sep. 21 - DE Obertraubling - Eventhall Airport Sep. 23 - DE Frankfurt - Batschkapp Sep. 24 - DE München - Backstage Sep. 25 - CH Pratteln - Z7

Earlier this month, Hietala was asked by El Planeta Del Rock if there is any chance of him and Turunen launching a new project together. He responded: "I won't close that option off. We haven't talked about it, putting up a group together or anything like that. But at the moment, it seems that we've got a different kind of connection than it was [in the] past. Because then the camps were really divided already when I stepped into [NIGHTWISH]. And it was hard to find the truth of things, because a lot of it was like a managerial turf war where we got told certain things by one side and told certain things by the other side and lots of confusion — blah, blah, blah — and in the end, yeah, what we already realized a few years back when we were all together there doing the Christmas shows in Finland that after all the hassle has died and the noise has died and everything, you still find out that you lost a friend. And that was the main [reason] why we are basically doing this together again."

In a recent interview with Thiago Rahal Mauro of Brazil's Metal Musikast, Tarja spoke about what it was like to team up with Marko to perform a cover of "The Phantom Of The Opera" during their special open-air concert in July 2023 at Z7 Summer Nights in Pratteln, Switzerland. Tarja and Marko both played individual sets at the event, with their rendition of the main theme from Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical coming during Turunen's portion of the show.

"I got a call from a promoter to take part in one festival in Switzerland last year in a European summertime in July," Tarja said. "And then I got to know, when I had accepted to be the artist of the evening, then I saw that they had also invited Marko and Marko's band to perform in the same festival. So I thought, 'Hmm.' And I was actually sending a message that I wished to reach Marko, because I didn't have his contact any longer, to ask him to perform with me 'The Phantom Of The Opera' in my show. And he responded 'yes.' So, after 18 years [laughs], we were about to sing the song together. And it was super exciting. It was really beautiful. The people got very emotional about this.

"We had met already before — we had been singing on a few occasions in Finland a few years before — so we kind of cleaned the table on that occasion already," she explained. "So we were in good terms, so to say, but now singing 'The Phantom Of The Opera' together after all these years was amazing."

Tarja also elaborated on her friendship with Marko, saying: "It's a new relationship with him, because he's not the same person anymore than he was in the band. He has changed a lot, and many years have passed by. I've changed myself. Life has changed us. So it is a new relationship, let's say. And it had made me very happy to get to know him better after all these years."

Last November, Tarja admitted to Chaoszine that she was "nervous" before performing "The Phantom Of The Opera" with Marko at Z7 Summer Nights. "I believe that he was nervous as well to meet up with me, but we were both very excited to go back to the stage and to sing the song," she said. "We sang 'Phantom Of The Opera' in Switzerland for the first time. Then we went over to Finland to perform it again, did a show together there — he with his band and me with my own. Wow. It was pure emotion. I think it was really beautiful, but it made me kind of… I was, like, 'I'm in peace,' sort of. The feeling was great. I think it was even more for Marko, because I saw him standing there after my concert, when I finished my set, and he came like almost in tears, saying that this was important. We reconnected, and it's great."

Turunen was fired from NIGHTWISH at the end of the band's 2005 tour by being presented with an open letter which was published on the NIGHTWISH web site at the same time. In the letter, the other members of NIGHTWISH wrote: "To you, unfortunately, business, money, and things that have nothing to do with emotions have become much more important."

NIGHTWISH keyboardist and main songwriter Tuomas Holopainen later called the decision to part ways with Turunen "the most difficult thing I ever had to do." For her part, Tarja said the way she was kicked out of the group proved that her former bandmates were not her friends. "Maybe one day I'll forgive, but I will never forget," she said.

In 2019, Turunen dismissed Internet chatter about her possible return to NIGHTWISH after her December 2017 onstage reunion with the band's then-bassist/vocalist Hietala during a "Raskasta Joulua" concert in Hämeenlinna, Finland.

"I know a lot of fans would love to see something happen, but it's a very long distance away," she told Kerrang! magazine. "Personally, I don't see anything happening with me and them, to be perfectly honest. Marko came a little later into the band; he wasn't there since the beginning. He was always a guy I was close to. Me and Tuomas Holopainen, however, haven't seen each other in a long time… but we have been in touch. It's not bad. The past is what it is; we can't change that. We can only change the future."

NIGHTWISH's authorized biography, "Once Upon a Nightwish: The Official Biography 1996-2006", was published in Finnish in 2006 and in English three years later.

Turunen's husband, Marcelo Cabuli, and his business partners later sued the parties behind the book for defamation. Named in the lawsuit were the publishing house Like Kustannus Oy and the author of the book, Marko "Mape" Ollila. Cabuli and his Brazilian business partners argued that the book includes false accusations and insinuations that have caused them suffering and financial problems.

The book blamed Cabuli for the events leading up to Turunen's dramatic expulsion from the band in late 2005.

In 2011, the Helsinki District Court dismissed Cabuli's lawsuit, ruling that the book — which criticized Cabuli on only a few of its 380 pages — did not detrimentally affect his work or reputation in South America. In addition, the court determined that Ollila did not maliciously portray Cabuli in a negative light.

Nearly two years ago, Tarja was asked in an interview with Top Link Music manager and concert promoter Paulo Baron and music critic Regis Tadeu if she would consider doing a tour with NIGHTWISH if all of her former bandmates apologized to her about how their split happened and invited her to share the stage with them again. She responded: "It is very, very hypothetical that all what you said will happen, first of all — it's very, very hypothetical.

"I'm living in a world, like we are all living in a world, that things happen without us noticing," she continued. "I mean, I can't really close any doors in that sense; I'm not that kind of person any longer. I learned so many things in this life already. I take them as they are.

"So I don't know. It would be very hypothetically possible," she added. "It would be unlikely to happen."

Hietala announced his departure from NIGHTWISH in January 2021, explaining in a statement that he hadn't "been able to feel validated by this life for a quite a few years now." He has since been replaced by session bassist Jukka Koskinen (WINTERSUN),who made his live debut with NIGHTWISH in May 2021 at the band's two interactive experiences.

In an August 2022 interview with Finland's Chaoszine, Hietala revealed that he went through a dark period in his life, which included depression, insomnia, anxiety and an eventual attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) diagnosis. Speaking about how he eventually came to the realization that exiting NIGHTWISH was the right thing to do, Marko said: "It was a long process. Of course, the COVID year that was there, where I had a lot of time for soul searching, it obviously gave me the last incentive that I need something else, that if I just continue with this I'm just gonna get sicker and sicker. But, of course, it's a process.

"I've been chronic depressive since 2010 [or] 2011, so I've been on a permanent medication ever since," he revealed. "Sometimes you get used to the meds [and] you will need more. We did raise [the dosage] during the years also, but it just didn't work. And now that I started to do… I had psychotherapy for over four years now, and then I also talked to psychiatrists and some doctors and did that also in Spain. Then my psychiatrist here in Finland said that I should do these ADHD neuropsychological tests, which I then did in Spain. And, okay, I got it."

Hietala reiterated that he "had been thinking about" leaving NIGHTWISH "for a while" before making the final decision. "Because I had a lot of weight. And I tend to… With the attention disorder, it tells me that when there are lots of trouble, then the disorder makes it into a real chaos," he explained. "There's a shitload of stuff coming and going and no peace anywhere. And for a year or two, I was already waking up every night at three o'clock to bad dreams and anxiety. So I'd say that the whole process probably started already with my former divorce [in 2016]. That was a very sad time when you think about your kids and your broken homes and all that. And then, when I started to get clear from that, then there were, well, all kinds of things. I don't really wanna go any deeper to what kind of things I'd gone through, but I'd gone through enough."

Acknowledging that making NIGHTWISH's latest studio album, 2020's "Human. :II: Nature.", was a "difficult" experience for him, Marko denied that his mental state at the time resulted in a diminished role for him on the final LP. "I think the original idea was to have that… we'll do a couple of [solo vocal appearances], or one solo for me and Troy [Donockley], and the rest Floor [Jansen], and then the harmonies; that was the idea originally for that," he said. "So I don't know if it affected. I think it was sort of as planned. But at that time I already had serious trouble with concentrating and serious trouble with a constant black cloud over my head."

In July 2022, Hietala told Finland's Iltalehti that he had not kept in touch with NIGHTWISH since his departure or followed the activities of his former band.

In May 2021, Holopainen said that Hietala's decision to leave NIGHTWISH "came as a bit of a surprise." He told Finland's Kaaos TV: "Marko informed us in December [of 2020 that he was leaving the band]. And even though he has been very open about his state and problems during the past years, it still came as a bit of a surprise for us. So it was a really tough pill to swallow. And for a few days, I was actually quite confident that there's no coming back, that this is it. I remember talking to Emppu [Vuorinen], the guitar player, and we were, like, 'You think this is it?' 'Yeah, I think this is it.' I mean, enough is enough. So much has happened in the past. Something that broke the camel's back, as they say. Then, after some time had passed — a few days — we started to think that it's been such a ride of 25 years, with so many ups also, that this is not the way to end it."

Tuomas elaborated on NIGHTWISH's reasons for carrying on, saying: "I think we still have something to give, and that's the main point. The music is still there. We felt that there's still so much music that needs to come out from this band that, 'Okay, let's give it one more shot.' And then finding the new bass player was really easy."

He added: "It's not like we do this just because we need to do it and there's nothing else to do. On a personal level, I feel that there's still so many stories and melodies that I want to share with the world with one lineup or another, so that's why you want to continue and keep on going.

"I've said this a million times, that a lineup change is the ultimate energy vampire, and that's how it really felt and still feels."

In June 2021, Jansen spoke about Hietala's exit from the band in an episode of her "Storytime" YouTube video series. She said: "That was a very sudden surprise that, of course, was not fun at all. But we understand — I understand — it was a necessary thing for him to do. And from there, we had to think of how to continue without him, and that also, in preparations towards the virtual show, that was a huge challenge."

In December 2020, Hietala was crowned the winner of the fall 2020 season of "Masked Singer Suomi" — the Finnish edition of the popular masked singing contest. He was disguised as Tohtori — the Doctor.

Photo courtesy of Nuclear Blast Records

[lordgrimwing]

Friends and Family #1

“Someone get the gate!” Celebrian shouted, arms full of dishes she was bringing to the backyard picnic table.

Arwen, barbeque tongs in hand, looked up from the sizzling hamburger patties that she’d made by hand with chunks of cheese and spices earlier that afternoon. She turned to her little brothers who were supposed to be spreading the tablecloths over said picnic table but were instead holding it up as a giant sail in the light wind. With a sigh that only a teenage daughter could make, she jogged over to the fence so she could unlatch the gate for their visitors.

Erestor came through first, a gray grocery bag with marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers in each hand. Glorfindel followed him, a watermelon under one arm and a pan of spiced corn on the cob under the other.

“Hello, Uncle Erestor, Uncle Glorfindel,” Arwen said politely. She just started eighth grade and insisted that most of her class could do with reading at least one of the etiquette books her grandmother gave her for her birthday.

Elladan and Elrohir looked up from their playing at this, faces lighting up with excitement when they spied their uncles. Throwing the checkered tablecloths haphazardly over the table just in time for their mother to put the plates down, they sprinted across the yard, yelling “Uncle Del! Uncle Del!” the whole way.

Arwen rolled her eyes, Celebrian shook her head at the twin seven-year-olds, and Glorfindel braced for impact. 

The twins latched onto his arms, feet dangling, heedless of any potential risk to parts of their dinner. The large elf made a show of staggering under their combined weight, the loose ends of his golden hair dancing against his back, before easily carrying them over to the table. The boys shrieked with excitement.

Celebrian laughed and shook her head. “Dan, Ro, get down and go get the firewood from the garage like I asked.”

Glorfindel gasped and looked down at the two round faces still hanging from his elbows. “Firewood!” He exclaimed. “We can’t have s'mores without firewood. Run, boys, run!”

They took off across the yard.

She shook her head again as Glorfindel and now Erestor, who crossed the yard at a more sedate pace while asking Arwen about her classes, put their burdens on the table. “They have so much energy when they get back from school.” 

The blond elf rolled his broad shoulders and sighed. “Wish I still had that kind of energy,” He said fondly.

Erestor raised a dark eyebrow at his husband as he pulled the tinfoil cover off of the corn. “Perhaps they should go to the gym with you.”

“Tempting,” He said as Arwen snatched the corn away and carried it proudly over to the grill so she could cook them on the spot she reserved for them. 

Celebrian smiled at their guests. “Oh, it’s been too long since you both came over,” She said, opening her arms to give Erestor and then Glorfindel (who gladly leaned down so she could reach him) a soft hug and light kiss on each cheek. She picked up the greeting from a year spent in Doriath as a child while her mother chased her career in politics. “How are you two doing? Keeping busy, I’m sure.”

Erestor sighed and sat down on one of the table benches, the strands of hair not long enough to stay in his short ponytail falling in front of his face. “I’ve put in more overtime this month than I have since grad school.” He said.

Glorfindel put a hand to his mouth and whispered conspiratorially to Celebrian, “He’s too modest to say anything, but he got promoted to department chair.”

“Congratulations!”

The seated elf waved it away. “I’m not sure the raise was worth it.”

“Oh, he’s very sure about that,” His husband corrected, rubbing a hand across his back.

“Well, I’m sure you and Elrond can lament the struggles of leadership when he gets here.

Erestor straightened and looked toward the house. “He isn’t here? I thought he took the day off.”

Celebrian passed Glorfindel the cutting board so he could cut up the watermelon. “He did, but there was some paperwork he had to run in and sign, and then some patients weren’t doing well and one thing led to another. He just texted to say he’s leaving soon and not to wait.”

Erestor hummed. “Sounds like Elrond.” He’d known him since their first day of undergrad, so he could easily imagine how a quick office run could tumble out of hand for his friend.

“That’s rough,” Glorfindel commiserated. He never went anywhere near work on a day off but he had years of dealing with Erestor’s ‘just five minutes to make sure everything's running fine’ work days. “Does corporate even realize we all have personal lives too?” He mused, chopping the melon in half.

“Sometimes I wonder,” She said, laying out seven ceramic plates around the table.

There was a moment of silence disturbed only by the scrape of metal on metal as Arwen dutifully rotated the corn and contemplative munching as Erestor stole a melon wedge. 

“At least he took the car,” Celebrian said lightly, waving away the strangely somber mood the conversation brought on. “How about you, Glorfindel? How’s your garden?”

“Enjoying the last of the heat. Yevvon begged me for the last of the peppers, otherwise, I would have brought some.” He smiled, moving melon wedges to a platter so he could slice up the other half. Erestor and he lived in a highrise apartment complex in the heart of the city where green spaces were limited to the occasional public park. He still managed to grow a surprising variety of herbs and vegetables between one window garden box and a couple planters on their small deck. “Oh, and the new secretary at work got the last of the strawberries.”

“That was kind of you,” Celebrian said.

He shrugged. “I pray to Manwë she’s just more competent than the last one. I do not want another tax season like the last two.” As an accountant, he had a professional love-hate relationship with taxes. 

Elladan and Elrohir emerged from the house then, lugging a plastic box filled with firewood between them. They pulled the box over to the firepit. 

Elrohir jumped up onto the bench to look at Glorfindel who had just finished with the melon. “Let’s make s’mores now! I bet I can eat more than you.”

Arwen looked over her shoulder and shot her brother a little glare. “Dessert comes after dinner.”

Elladan flopped next to his brother. “But dinner’s taking hours,” He groaned. 

“Well, we’d better see if we can give your sister a hand then,” Glorfindel said cheerfully as he wiped the knife and cutting board off with a hand towel. Wrapping an arm around each twin, he carried them over to their sister. “We are at your disposal, Miss Arwen.”

She looked like she didn’t know what to do with the extra help.

He hoisted the boys higher, both of them stifling laughter with their fists. “I suggest sending these two ruffians to get a clean dish for that corn: it looks just about ready.”

Arwen nodded.

Glorfindel released the boys. “Accept your quest,” He commanded, and they dashed away. 

With the chaotic twins out of the way for the time being, he turned back to Arwen and helped her remove the burgers from the grill, holding the plate for her to put them on. They chatted amiably about the recipes she made recently. She’d made a resolution on her birthday to learn to make fifty different dishes by the time she turned sixteen and he liked staying up to date on her latest adventures.

The twins returned with a shallow pan for the corn and the plastic-wrapped plate of onions, tomatoes, pickles, and other vegetables that Arwen directed them to prepare earlier. Elladan brought the plate to the table and sat down next to Erestor, while Elrohir took the pan to the grill. Glorfindel carefully traded it for the plate of burgers and sent him to the table too. A minute later they were all settled around the table, the twins between Erestor and Glorfindel and an empty spot on Celebrian’s right for Elrond.

They were about to start when Elladan, apparently overcome by excitement, looked at Glorfindel, pointed at his brother, and exclaimed, “Ro found Gilly playing with a dead mouse in the basement after lunch!”

Gilly, the family’s tiny cat, was not a particularly accomplished mouser. Luckily, the mice rarely ventured inside.

“Wow,” Glorfindel said.

Celebrian raised her eyebrows, looking toward the house. “Really? Did you leave it there?”

Elrohir shook his head, short black hair falling into his eyes. “I told her she’s a good kitty, and picked it up, and put it in the garbage can outside.” He reported. “Just like dad showed us.”

Elrond doted on the cat and, as a doctor, took her health seriously. Eating mice, wild animals with who knows how many worms and other parasites, was completely out of the question. 

“Thank you for doing that,” Celebrian said, settling back in her seat. A pause, then, “Did you wash your hands after?”

Elrohir exchanged a guilty look with Elladan. “No.”

“Go wash your hands,” She said, completely unsurprised. “Both of you.”

Elladan pouted (he’d only touched the mouse a little. Why should he have to go all the way back to the house and wash when all he really wanted was a burger? Besides, how did his mom even know he’d touched it?) but followed his brother inside.

When they came back, dinner finally started.

Most everyone had finished their first burger, and some of them were considering seconds when there was the very recognizable hum of a car pulling into the driveway.

Arwen, tossing aside the manners she'd been practicing all afternoon, jumped to her feet with an excited "Dad's home!". She raced her brothers to the back door. In moments, all three children were gone, leaving the adults to smile in their wake.

A minute later, a slightly windswept Elrond appeared, tugged along by a son on each hand. Arwen brought up the rear, blushing a little as the twins exclaimed that the burgers she made were the best things they'd ever put in their mouths (and they would know, having put a great many things in their mouths), and “you just have to try one right now!” 

Elrond murmured an apology into Celebrian’s hair as he kissed her head before sitting down beside her. She accepted it easily and rested a hand on his knee, giving it a fond squeeze.

The adults chatted happily, slowly working their way through the meal. Eventually, the seven-year-old twins grew tired of waiting and set about starting the fire for roasting marshmallows. Their sister took pity on their feeble fire after a few minutes and abandoned her spot leaning against her mother to help them. Once a nice bed of coals glowed in the firepit, the roasting began.

Elrohir won his bet, eating a record seven s’mores. 

[whileiamdying]

Marina Abramović’s First Show in China Features Crystal Shoes and Telepathy Phones

Abramović claims her new crystal-based works can help you learn to communicate remotely.

Marina Abramović in 2016. Photo by Reto Guntli.

Sarah Cascone August 5, 2024

Marina Abramović is about to have her first museum show in China, returning to the nation where the performance artist famously walked the Great Wall to dissolve her partnership with Ulay in 1988.

The exhibition, “Marina Abramović: Transforming Energy,” will open at the Modern Art Museum Shanghai (MAM) in October. But while the 77-year-old Abramović is well known for performing inside museum halls, she is asking visitors to take center stage this time around.

“It’s completely 100 percent interactive,” Abramović said in a virtual press event announcing the show. “I’ve never had a show like this in my entire life.”

“This is perhaps the first time that Marina is encouraging the audience to be the performers,” MAM artistic director Shai Baitel added. “She’s asking the audience, be present. Remove your phone. Be with us. Stay with us.”

Marina Abramović, Shoes for Departure (1991/2017). Courtesy of Sean Kelly Gallery.

It’s the artist’s largest show to date with 150 works, roughly 75 percent of which are being shown for the first time.

That includes “Transitory Objects,” sculptures collectively made from over 6,600 pounds of minerals that invite visitor participation. Abramović—who also touts the anti-aging properties of minerals in pricey skincare products—believes that crystals contain transformative energy.

“Hematite really raises your blood pressure; the rose quartz work on your heart; the clear quartz work on your mind; tourmaline on your liver. All of these things actually have also medical property, scientific property and energy property,” she said. “It is up to the public to discover them.”

The works are made from copper, iron, wood, and Brazilian crystals. By sitting or standing on or beneath the pieces, museumgoers are meant to channel the minerals’ energy. (Trained facilitators will tell visitors what to do.)

Marina Abramović, Copper Bed for Human Use (2012). Photo: Fabrizio Vatieri, courtesy of Sean Kelly Gallery.

“The audience can connect themselves and incorporate their physical being with the objects themselves,” Baitel said. “And they can improve themselves and enjoy the qualities and the goodness the minerals have to offer.”

“I’m using geodes 35 billion years old,” Abramović added. “You can sit on the little chair and look inside the geode like you’re looking inside the stomach of the planet.”

The artist cites her three-month walk across China, titled Great Wall Walk, China (1988) as an inspiration for the series, which draws on Tibetan and Chinese medicine, spiritualism, and healing.

Marina Abramović, Great Wall Walk, China, Marina on the wall (1988). Photo courtesy of the artist.

“There were many different minerals that was in the ground. Each time I walk on that kind of minerals, I have the feeling different energy. I felt different,” Abramović said, noting that she encountered iron-rich hematite and red clay.

She doesn’t necessarily expect visitors to be in tune with the subtle effects of the minerals. The artist once watched a pair of Americans asking each other if they felt anything after 10 minutes with a crystal artwork. They agreed they didn’t, and decided to go get a hamburger.

“It’s very important to actually stay a long time with objects,” Abramović said. “If you want to get the muscles in gym, you don’t get muscles from one training. You get muscles by doing it every day.”

Marina Abramović, Great Wall Walk, China, Marina with people (1988). Photo courtesy of the artist.

The artist is especially excited about giving people the chance to train on sculptures she calls telepathy phones.

“Actually, it could take for anybody four years to learn telepathy, which is so much cheaper than using mobile phone. But nobody do, of course,” Abramović said.

Regardless of whether these pieces work in the way the artist claims, they represent a chance to leave behind works more lasting that an ephemeral performance.

“It’s not that I’m going to be able to perform when I’m 80, 90, 100, whatever,” Abramović admitted. “I have to find the system in which my mission and my legacy can go on. And this is exactly [what I do] with the ‘Transitory Objects.'”

Marina Abramović, Great Wall Walk, China, landscapes and portraits (1988). Courtesy of the artist.

The exhibition will also feature over 1,200 never-before-seen photographs of Abramović’s 1,550-mile journey to meet Ulay. It’s another reminder that decades later, the durational performance piece remains a formative experience for the artist.

“That was epic,” Abramović recalled. “I really fell in love with China.”

“Marina Abramović: Transforming Energy” will be on view at the Modern Art Museum Shanghai October 10, 2024–February 2025.

[dyhayc]

Clone Wars family dinner🧍💨

I've had this in my google docs for a year and decided to share it with the world. Don't take this too seriously, my best friend and I started talking about family dinner because we were sad seeing so many clones dying in clone wars that we joked they were meeting offscreen for family dinner. Tbh this is mostly just a test to see if my posts will show up in tags so yea

I'm open to writing about more characters if anyone wants to request (even if they're not from the same time period because tbh who cares about the timeline?), however, I may not be able to do some if I don't know enough about their personality :]

Family dinner starts every night at 6

Commander Cody: Sits at the head of the table, is essentially the patriarch of the family. He can’t cook for shit, he shows up at dinner like 5 minutes before it starts. He doesn’t even set the table. He’s like the dad who works and then arrives complaining about work. If his family tries to get him to do more he tells them he’s too tired from work. Cody places yellow whoopie cushions on Rex’s seat and makes no attempt to hide them or conceal he’s the one who’s doing it.

Obi-Wan: Like Cody, shows up 5 minutes before it starts. He does, however, try to help set the table or bring food out (but it never really matters, everything is already set so he doesn’t do anything). Rex suspects he comes late on purpose but can never prove anything. Sits next to Cody and usually carpools (speederpools?) with him. Lowkey an expert wine taster and can find “hints of orange root” or some pretentious shit.

Fives: Can grill a mean hamburger, in fact any time something needs to be grilled he’s the one to do it. Since he doesn’t really cook other than grilling, he only needs to help during the summer months. He always arrives with his twin, Echo (and Echo arrives very very early), so he spends his free time fucking with his brothers. Would probably mess with the way the table’s set up just to annoy Echo and instigate a fight during family dinner.

Echo: Bakes dessert for every family dinner. Echo shows up at 4 exactly to bake, sometimes even earlier if he’s making something big. He’s also the one who sets the table for everyone. Each seat has a table mat that’s personalized for each person, as well as a set of silverware in a very specific order. Fives likes to switch the fork and knife because he knows only Echo cares. Only lets specific people decorate his deserts (a.k.a. anyone but Fives - once he wrote “Echo sux” on his cake. Echo has still not forgiven him)

Rex: Older brother energy, tries to control Hardcase and Fives as best he can. Always comes early because if he doesn’t Fives and Echo will destroy the kitchen. He doesn’t know how to cook but is trying to learn, is good at making soup or putting things in the oven without burning them. He sits on Cody’s whoopie cushions on Cody’s birthday to humour him. If he’s tired enough, he’s not opposed to just watch from a corner as the family dinner devolves into chaos. Frequents mommy blogger websites and gets excited when it’s fall because of pumpkin spice. His brothers don’t have the heart to tell him they don’t know what pumpkin is.

Tup: Cooks bomb ass food, literally the saving grace of family dinner. Always calm and collected, even if Echo, Fives, Hardcase, Ahsoka, or Jesse are trying his patience. Likes to make stir fry, it’s his specialty. Will be upset if someone doesn’t like his food, but Fives and Jesse glare aggressively at anyone who speaks out. Is usually the one who babysits Ahsoka when she’s in the kitchen, making sure she doesn’t hurt herself trying to cut tomatoes or something.

Jesse: Essentially Tup’s sous chef, but make him drunk off his ass. Can polish off a whole bottle of wine before family dinner even starts. Still makes good food, though, even if he’s blackout drunk. In fact, the food quality seems to rise if he’s blackout drunk. It’s actually kind of scary. While intoxicated, he can keep up with Hardcase’s energy so he usually ends up watching over him (honestly, nobody at dinner can tell who’s taking care of who, but their chaotic energies seem to cancel out so it’s okay).

Wolffe: An infrequent visitor. For some reason, the only thing he knows how to cook is meat. If they’re having something where the protein is separate he’s always the one to make it. For example, smoked salmon or marinated baked chicken. He is also the one who carves turkey or rotisserie chicken. Can detect minute changes in the moisture of a roast and tell the quality of a meat just by tasting it. His brothers are kind of scared of his weird skills, but never say anything in fear he might fillet them in their sleep.

Ahsoka: Brings her wife to the family dinner. She and her wife don’t know how to cook, so they make the salads for the group. (Who is her wife? I don’t know but she has one) Ahsoka probably holds a knife like she holds her lightsabers. Tup and Rex always have to stop her from cutting food like that because she usually comes close to cutting her fingers off. Will not hesitate to flick peas across the table at Cody or Obi-Wan with her spoon.

Kix: Never knows the family dinner is happening. Arrives 20 minutes late every time and asks why nobody told him they were having a family dinner that night, even though it happens every night. Literally has to be taken out of work and driven over by one of his brothers if they want him to be on time. Brings a tupperware with old pasta salad every single time (nobody knows why he has so much pasta salad, why it’s always stale, or where he gets it from).

Hardcase: Very impatient, especially with anything concerning heat. He will either take the food out too soon so it’s cold or leave it too long so it’s burnt. He is, however, good at chopping things (though nobody trusts him to not accidentally kill himself). When he cuts vegetables, fruits, or meats he always has a chaperone. If his knife skills aren’t needed he likes to chat with Fives or bother Jesse, Tup, or Echo. He plays footsies with Jesse under the table during dinner. When decorating his tablemat he covered it in glitter; Tup had to sneak into the Commanding Officer’s lounge so he could laminate it (glitter was getting into everyone’s food somehow).

Fox: Has to be picked up and physically taken out of work to come to family dinner. If there’s no caf ready for him when he arrives, he’s leaving. Miraculously, has never gotten into a fight at family dinner. In fact, when provoked he usually does nothing and allows the chaos to ensue around him (though occasionally, he will subtly instigate fights for the hell of it). Unlike Rex, he is always tired enough to not give a crap about the fights, and sits back to watch Fives and Echo fight about the placement of silverware.

Plo Koon: Another infrequent visitor. He usually becomes the mediator of arguments, whether he agreed to be or not. When he visits, everyone is usually on their best behaviour. He exudes understanding-father-figure energy and is invited to sit at the head of the table opposite of Cody. Will bring home-baked dinner rolls (and occasionally comes early to bake with Echo).

Kit Fisto: Visits occasionally, usually with Plo Koon. Very relaxed when he comes and drinks a glass of wine with Obi-Wan and Jesse. He usually tries to keep out of any arguments or tiffs between the clones, but, like Plo Koon, he always ends up trying to calm down a fiery debate (which usually doesn’t work). Like Rex, will step back and watch chaos ensue if he’s tired enough.

Side note: Me and my friend were discussing family dinner and agreed that Fives looks like he'd grill while Echo looks like he'd bake, then in the same week, I saw someone posting about the same exact topic! It was a year ago so I don't remember who they were, but we're all literally on the same wavelength

[path-of-my-childhood]

Musicians On Musicians: Paul McCartney & Taylor Swift

By: Patrick Doyle for Rolling Stone Date: November 13th 2020

On songwriting secrets, making albums at home, and what they’ve learned during the pandemic.

Taylor Swift arrived early to Paul McCartney’s London office in October, “mask on, brimming with excitement.” “I mostly work from home these days,” she writes about that day, “and today feels like a rare school field trip that you actually want to go on.”

Swift showed up without a team, doing her own hair and makeup. In addition to being two of the most famous pop songwriters in the world, Swift and McCartney have spent the past year on similar journeys. McCartney, isolated at home in the U.K., recorded McCartney III. Like his first solo album, in 1970, he played nearly all of the instruments himself, resulting in some of his most wildly ambitious songs in a long time. Swift also took some new chances, writing over email with the National’s Aaron Dessner and recording the raw Folklore, which abandons arena pop entirely in favor of rich character songs. It’s the bestselling album of 2020.

Swift listened to McCartney III as she prepared for today’s conversation; McCartney delved into Folkore. Before the photo shoot, Swift caught up with his daughters Mary (who would be photographing them) and Stella (who designed Swift’s clothes; the two are close friends). “I’ve met Paul a few times, mostly onstage at parties, but we’ll get to that later,” Swift writes. “Soon he walks in with his wife, Nancy. They’re a sunny and playful pair, and I immediately feel like this will be a good day. During the shoot, Paul dances and takes almost none of it too seriously and sings along to Motown songs playing from the speakers. A few times Mary scolds, ‘Daaad, try to stand still!’ And it feels like a window into a pretty awesome family dynamic. We walk into his office for a chat, and after I make a nervous request, Paul is kind enough to handwrite my favorite lyric of his and sign it. He makes a joke about me selling it, and I laugh because it’s something I know I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. That’s around the time when we start talking about music.”

Taylor Swift: I think it’s important to note that if this year had gone the way that we thought it was going to go, you and I would have played Glastonbury this year, and instead, you and I both made albums in isolation.

Paul McCartney: Yeah!

Swift: And I remember thinking it would have been so much fun because the times that I’ve run into you, I correlate with being some of the most fun nights of my life. I was at a party with you, when everybody just started playing music. And it was Dave Grohl playing, and you...

McCartney: You were playing one of his songs, weren’t you?

Swift: Yes, I was playing his song called “Best of You,” but I was playing it on piano, and he didn’t recognize it until about halfway through. I just remember thinking, “Are you the catalyst for the most fun times ever?” Is it your willingness to get up and play music that makes everyone feel like this is a thing that can happen tonight?

McCartney: I mean, I think it’s a bit of everything, isn’t it? I’ll tell you who was very... Reese Witherspoon was like, “Are you going to sing?” I said “Oh, I don’t know.” She said, “You’ve got to, yeah!” She’s bossing me around. So I said, “Whoa,” so it’s a bit of that.

Swift: I love that person, because the party does not turn musical without that person.

McCartney: Yeah, that’s true.

Swift: If nobody says, “Can you guys play music?” we’re not going to invite ourselves up onstage at whatever living-room party it is.

McCartney: I seem to remember Woody Harrelson got on the piano, and he starts playing “Let It Be,” and I’m thinking, “I can do that better.” So I said, “Come on, move over, Woody.” So we’re both playing it. It was really nice... I love people like Dan Aykroyd, who’s just full of energy and he loves his music so much, but he’s not necessarily a musician, but he just wanders around the room, just saying, “You got to get up, got to get up, do some stuff.”

Swift: I listened to your new record. And I loved a lot of things about it, but it really did feel like kind of a flex to write, produce, and play every instrument on every track. To me, that’s like flexing a muscle and saying, “I can do all this on my own if I have to.”

McCartney: Well, I don’t think like that, I must admit. I just picked up some of these instruments over the years. We had a piano at home that my dad played, so I picked around on that. I wrote the melody to “When I’m 64” when I was, you know, a teenager.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: When the Beatles went to Hamburg, there were always drum kits knocking around, so when there was a quiet moment, I’d say, “Do you mind if I have a knock around?” So I was able to practice, you know, without practicing. That’s why I play right-handed. Guitar was just the first instrument I got. Guitar turned to bass; it also turned into ukulele, mandolin. Suddenly, it’s like, “Wow,” but it’s really only two or three instruments.

Swift: Well, I think that’s downplaying it a little bit. In my mind, it came with a visual of you being in the country, kind of absorbing the sort of do-it-yourself [quality] that has had to come with the quarantine and this pandemic. I found that I’ve adapted a do-it-yourself mentality to a lot of things in my career that I used to outsource.  I’m just wondering what a day of recording in the pandemic looked like for you.

McCartney: Well, I’m very lucky because I have a studio that’s, like, 20 minutes away from where I live. We were in lockdown on a farm, a sheep farm with my daughter Mary and her four kids and her husband. So I had four of my grandkids, I had Mary, who’s a great cook, so I would just drive myself to the studio. And there were two other guys that could come in and we’d be very careful and distanced and everything: my engineer Steve, and then my equipment guy Keith. So the three of us made the record, and I just started off. I had to do a little bit of film music - I had to do an instrumental for a film thing - so I did that. And I just kept going, and that turned into the opening track on the album. I would just come in, say, “Oh, yeah, what are we gonna do?” [Then] have some sort of idea, and start doing it. Normally, I’d start with the instrument I wrote it on, either piano or guitar, and then probably add some drums and then a bit of bass till it started to sound like a record, and then just gradually layer it all up. It was fun.

Swift: That’s so cool.

McCartney: What about yours? You’re playing guitar and piano on yours.

Swift: Yeah, on some of it, but a lot of it was made with Aaron Dessner, who’s in a band called the National that I really love. And I had met him at a concert a year before, and I had a conversation with him, asking him how he writes. It’s my favorite thing to ask people who I’m a fan of. And he had an interesting answer. He said, “All the band members live in different parts of the world. So I make tracks. And I send them to our lead singer, Matt, and he writes the top line.” I just remember thinking, “That is really efficient.” And I kind of stored it in my brain as a future idea for a project. You know, how you have these ideas... “Maybe one day I’ll do this.” I always had in my head: “Maybe one day I’ll work with Aaron Dessner.”

So when lockdown happened, I was in L.A., and we kind of got stuck there. It’s not a terrible place to be stuck. We were there for four months maybe, and during that time, I sent an email to Aaron Dessner and I said, “Do you think you would want to work during this time? Because my brain is all scrambled, and I need to make something, even if we’re just kind of making songs that we don’t know what will happen...”

McCartney: Yeah, that was the thing. You could do stuff -  you didn’t really worry it was going to turn into anything.

Swift: Yeah, and it turned out he had been writing instrumental tracks to keep from absolutely going crazy during the pandemic as well, so he sends me this file of probably 30 instrumentals, and the first one I opened ended up being a song called “Cardigan,” and it really happened rapid-fire like that. He’d send me a track; he’d make new tracks, add to the folder; I would write the entire top line for a song, and he wouldn’t know what the song would be about, what it was going to be called, where I was going to put the chorus. I had originally thought, “Maybe I’ll make an album in the next year, and put it out in January or something,” but it ended up being done and we put it out in July. And I just thought there are no rules anymore, because I used to put all these parameters on myself, like, “How will this song sound in a stadium? How will this song sound on radio?” If you take away all the parameters, what do you make? And I guess the answer is Folklore.

McCartney: And it’s more music for yourself than music that’s got to go do a job. My thing was similar to that: After having done this little bit of film music, I had a lot of stuff that I had been working on, but I’d said, “I’m just going home now,” and it’d be left half-finished. So I just started saying, “Well, what about that? I never finished that.” So we’d pull it out, and we said, “Oh, well, this could be good.” And because it didn’t have to amount to anything, I would say, “Ah, I really want to do tape loops. I don’t care if they fit on this song, I just want to do some.” So I go and make some tape loops, and put them in the song, just really trying to do stuff that I fancy.

I had no idea it would end up as an album; I may have been a bit less indulgent, but if a track was eight minutes long, to tell you the truth, what I thought was, “I’ll be taking it home tonight, Mary will be cooking, the grandkids will all be there running around, and someone, maybe Simon, Mary’s husband, is going to say, ‘What did you do today?’ And I’m going to go, ‘Oh,’ and then get my phone and play it for them.” So this became the ritual.

Swift: That’s the coziest thing I’ve ever heard.

McCartney: Well, it’s like eight minutes long, and I said, “I hate it when I’m playing someone something and it finishes after three minutes.” I kind of like that it just [continues] on.

Swift: You want to stay in the zone.

McCartney: It just keeps going on. I would just come home, “Well, what did you do today?” “Oh, well, I did this. I’m halfway through this,” or, “We finished this.”

Swift: I was wondering about the numerology element to McCartney III. McCartney I, II, and III have all come out on years with zeroes.

McCartney: Ends of decades.

Swift: Was that important?

McCartney: Yeah, well, this was being done in 2020, and I didn’t really think about it. I think everyone expected great things of 2020. “It’s gonna be great! Look at that number! 2020! Auspicious!” Then suddenly Covid hit, and it was like, “That’s gonna be auspicious all right, but maybe for the wrong reasons.” Someone said to me, “Well, you put out McCartney right after the Beatles broke up, and that was 1970, and then you did McCartney II in 1980.” And I said, “Oh, I’m going to release this in 2020 just for whatever you call it, the numerology...”

Swift: The numerology, the kind of look, the symbolism. I love numbers. Numbers kind of rule my whole world. The numbers 13... 89 is a big one. I have a few others that I find...

McCartney: Thirteen is lucky for some.

Swift: Yeah, it’s lucky for me. It’s my birthday. It’s all these weird coincidences of good things that have happened. Now, when I see it places, I look at it as a sign that things are going the way they’re supposed to. They may not be good now, they could be painful now, but things are on a track. I don’t know, I love the numerology.

McCartney: It’s spooky, Taylor. It’s very spooky. Now wait a minute: Where’d you get 89?

Swift: That’s when I was born, in 1989, and so I see it in different places and I just think it’s...

McCartney: No, it’s good. I like that, where certain things you attach yourself to, and you get a good feeling off them. I think that’s great.

Swift: Yeah, one of my favorite artists, Bon Iver, he has this thing with the number 22. But I was also wondering: You have always kind of seeked out a band or a communal atmosphere with like, you know, the Beatles and Wings, and then Egypt Station. I thought it was interesting when I realized you had made a record with no one else. I just wondered, did that feel natural?

McCartney: It’s one of the things I’ve done. Like with McCartney, because the Beatles had broken up, there was no alternative but to get a drum kit at home, get a guitar, get an amp, get a bass, and just make something for myself. So on that album, which I didn’t really expect to do very well, I don’t think it did. But people sort of say, “I like that. It was a very casual album.” It didn’t really have to mean anything. So I’ve done that, the play-everything-myself thing. And then I discovered synths and stuff, and sequencers, so I had a few of those at home. I just thought I’m going to play around with this and record it, so that became McCartney II. But it’s a thing I do. Certain people can do it. Stevie Wonder can do it. Stevie Winwood, I believe, has done it. So there are certain people quite like that.

When you’re working with someone else, you have to worry about their variances. Whereas your own variance, you kind of know it. It’s just something I’ve grown to like. Once you can do it, it becomes a little bit addictive. I actually made some records under the name the Fireman.

Swift: Love a pseudonym.

McCartney: Yeah, for the fun! But, you know, let’s face it, you crave fame and attention when you’re young. And I just remembered the other day, I was the guy in the Beatles that would write to journalists and say [speaks in a formal voice]: “We are a semiprofessional rock combo, and I’d think you’d like [us]... We’ve written over 100 songs (which was a lie), my friend John and I. If you mention us in your newspaper...” You know, I was always, like, craving the attention.

Swift: The hustle! That’s so great, though.

McCartney: Well, yeah, you need that.

Swift: Yeah, I think, when a pseudonym comes in is when you still have a love for making the work and you don’t want the work to become overshadowed by this thing that’s been built around you, based on what people know about you. And that’s when it’s really fun to create fake names and write under them.

McCartney: Do you ever do that?

Swift: Oh, yeah.

McCartney: Oh, yeah? Oh, well, we didn’t know that! Is that a widely known fact?

Swift: I think it is now, but it wasn’t. I wrote under the name Nils Sjöberg because those are two of the most popular names of Swedish males. I wrote this song called “This Is What You Came For” that Rihanna ended up singing. And nobody knew for a while. I remembered always hearing that when Prince wrote “Manic Monday,” they didn’t reveal it for a couple of months.

McCartney: Yeah, it also proves you can do something without the fame tag. I did something for Peter and Gordon; my girlfriend’s brother and his mate were in a band called Peter and Gordon. And I used to write under the name Bernard Webb.

Swift: [Laughs.] That’s a good one! I love it.

McCartney: As Americans call it, Ber-nard Webb. I did the Fireman thing. I worked with a producer, a guy called Youth, who’s this real cool dude. We got along great. He did a mix for me early on, and we got friendly. I would just go into the studio, and he would say, “Hey, what about this groove?” and he’d just made me have a little groove going. He’d say, “You ought to put some bass on it. Put some drums on it.” I’d just spend the whole day putting stuff on it. And we’d make these tracks, and nobody knew who Fireman was for a while. We must have sold all of 15 copies.

Swift: Thrilling, absolutely thrilling.

McCartney: And we didn’t mind, you know?

Swift: I think it’s so cool that you do projects that are just for you. Because I went with my family to see you in concert in 2010 or 2011, and the thing I took away from the show most was that it was the most selfless set list I had ever seen. It was completely geared toward what it would thrill us to hear. It had new stuff, but it had every hit we wanted to hear, every song we’d ever cried to, every song people had gotten married to, or been brokenhearted to. And I just remembered thinking, “I’ve got to remember that,” that you do that set list for your fans.

McCartney: You do that, do you?

Swift: I do now. I think that learning that lesson from you taught me at a really important stage in my career that if people want to hear “Love Story” and “Shake It Off,” and I’ve played them 300 million times, play them the 300-millionth-and-first time. I think there are times to be selfish in your career, and times to be selfless, and sometimes they line up.

McCartney: I always remembered going to concerts as a kid, completely before the Beatles, and I really hoped they would play the ones I loved. And if they didn’t, it was kind of disappointing. I had no money, and the family wasn’t wealthy. So this would be a big deal for me, to save up for months to afford the concert ticket.

Swift: Yeah, it feels like a bond. It feels like that person on the stage has given something, and it makes you as a crowd want to give even more back, in terms of applause, in terms of dedication. And I just remembered feeling that bond in the crowd, and thinking, “He’s up there playing these Beatles songs, my dad is crying, my mom is trying to figure out how to work her phone because her hands are shaking so much.” Because seeing the excitement course through not only me, but my family and the entire crowd in Nashville, it just was really special. I love learning lessons and not having to learn them the hard way. Like learning nice lessons I really value.

McCartney: Well, that’s great, and I’m glad that set you on that path. I understand people who don’t want to do that, and if you do, they’ll say, “Oh, it’s a jukebox show.” I hear what they’re saying. But I think it’s a bit of a cheat, because the people who come to our shows have spent a lot of money. We can afford to go to a couple of shows and it doesn’t make much difference. But a lot of ordinary working folks... it’s a big event in their life, and so I try and deliver. I also, like you say, try and put in a few weirdos.

Swift: That’s the best. I want to hear current things, too, to update me on where the artist is. I was wondering about lyrics, and where you were lyrically when you were making this record. Because when I was making Folklore, I went lyrically in a total direction of escapism and romanticism. And I wrote songs imagining I was, like, a pioneer woman in a forbidden love affair [laughs]. I was completely...

McCartney: Was this “I want to give you a child”? Is that one of the lines?

Swift: Oh, that’s a song called “Peace.”

McCartney: “Peace,” I like that one.

Swift: “Peace” is actually more rooted in my personal life. I know you have done a really excellent job of this in your personal life: carving out a human life within a public life, and how scary that can be when you do fall in love and you meet someone, especially if you’ve met someone who has a very grounded, normal way of living. I, oftentimes, in my anxieties, can control how I am as a person and how normal I act and rationalize things, but I cannot control if there are 20 photographers outside in the bushes and what they do and if they follow our car and if they interrupt our lives. I can’t control if there’s going to be a fake weird headline about us in the news tomorrow.

McCartney: So how does that go? Does your partner sympathize with that and understand?

Swift: Oh, absolutely.

McCartney: They have to, don’t they?

Swift: But I think that in knowing him and being in the relationship I am in now, I have definitely made decisions that have made my life feel more like a real life and less like just a storyline to be commented on in tabloids. Whether that’s deciding where to live, who to hang out with, when to not take a picture - the idea of privacy feels so strange to try to explain, but it’s really just trying to find bits of normalcy. That’s what that song “Peace” is talking about. Like, would it be enough if I could never fully achieve the normalcy that we both crave? Stella always tells me that she had as normal a childhood as she could ever hope for under the circumstances.

McCartney: Yeah, it was very important to us to try and keep their feet on the ground amongst the craziness.

Swift: She went to a regular school...

McCartney: Yeah, she did.

Swift: And you would go trick-or-treating with them, wearing masks.

McCartney: All of them did, yeah. It was important, but it worked pretty well, because when they kind of reached adulthood, they would meet other kids who might have gone to private schools, who were a little less grounded.

And they could be the budding mothers to [kids]. I remember Mary had a friend, Orlando. Not Bloom. She used to really counsel him. And it’s ’cause she’d gone through that. Obviously, they got made fun of, my kids. They’d come in the classroom and somebody would sing, “Na na na na,” you know, one of the songs. And they’d have to handle that. They’d have to front it out.

Swift: Did that give you a lot of anxiety when you had kids, when you felt like all this pressure that’s been put on me is spilling over onto them, that they didn’t sign up for it? Was that hard for you?

McCartney: Yeah, a little bit, but it wasn’t like it is now. You know, we were just living a kind of semi-hippie life, where we withdrew from a lot of stuff. The kids would be doing all the ordinary things, and their school friends would be coming up to the house and having parties, and it was just great. I remember one lovely evening when it was Stella’s birthday, and she brought a bunch of school kids up. And, you know, they’d all ignore me. It happens very quickly. At first they’re like, “Oh, yeah, he’s like a famous guy,” and then it’s like [yawns]. I like that. I go in the other room and suddenly I hear this music going on. And one of the kids, his name was Luke, and he’s doing break dancing.

Swift: Ohhh!

McCartney: He was a really good break dancer, so all the kids are hanging out. That allowed them to be kind of normal with those kids. The other thing is, I don’t live fancy. I really don’t. Sometimes it’s a little bit of an embarrassment, if I’ve got someone coming to visit me, or who I know…

Swift: Cares about that stuff?

McCartney: Who’s got a nice big house, you know. Quincy Jones came to see me and I’m, like, making him a veggie burger or something. I’m doing some cooking. This was after I’d lost Linda, in between there. But the point I’m making is that I’m very consciously thinking, “Oh, God, Quincy’s got to be thinking, ‘What is this guy on? He hasn’t got big things going on. It’s not a fancy house at all. And we’re eating in the kitchen! He’s not even got the dining room going,’” you know?

Swift: I think that sounds like a perfect day.

McCartney: But that’s me. I’m awkward like that. That’s my kind of thing. Maybe I should have, like, a big stately home. Maybe I should get a staff. But I think I couldn’t do that. I’d be so embarrassed. I’d want to walk around dressed as I want to walk around, or naked, if I wanted to.

Swift: That can’t happen in Downton Abbey.

McCartney: [Laughs.] Exactly.

Swift: I remember what I wanted to know about, which is lyrics. Like, when you’re in this kind of strange, unparalleled time, and you’re making this record, are lyrics first? Or is it when you get a little melodic idea?

McCartney: It was a bit of both. As it kind of always is with me. There’s no fixed way. People used to ask me and John, “Well, who does the words, who does the music?” I used to say, “We both do both.” We used to say we don’t have a formula, and we don’t want one. Because the minute we get a formula, we should rip it up. I will sometimes, as I did with a couple of songs on this album, sit down at the piano and just start noodling around, and I’ll get a little idea and start to fill that out. So the lyrics - for me, it’s following a trail. I’ll start [sings “Find My Way,” a song from “McCartney III”]: “I can find my way. I know my left from right, da da da.” And I’ll just sort of fill it in. Like, we know this song, and I’m trying to remember the lyrics. Sometimes I’ll just be inspired by something. I had a little book which was all about the constellations and the stars and the orbits of Venus and...

Swift: Oh, I know that song - “The Kiss of Venus”?

McCartney: Yeah, “The Kiss of Venus.” And I just thought, “That’s a nice phrase.” So I was actually just taking phrases out of the book, harmonic sounds. And the book is talking about the maths of the universe, and how when things orbit around each other, and if you trace all the patterns, it becomes like a lotus flower.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: It’s very magical.

Swift: That is magical. I definitely relate to needing to find magical things in this very not-magical time, needing to read more books and learn to sew, and watch movies that take place hundreds of years ago. In a time where, if you look at the news, you just want to have a panic attack - I really relate to the idea that you are thinking about stars and constellations.

McCartney: Did you do that on Folklore?

Swift: Yes. I was reading so much more than I ever did, and watching so many more films.

McCartney: What stuff were you reading?

Swift: I was reading, you know, books like Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier, which I highly recommend, and books that dealt with times past, a world that doesn’t exist anymore. I was also using words I always wanted to use - kind of bigger, flowerier, prettier words, like “epiphany,” in songs. I always thought, “Well, that’ll never track on pop radio,” but when I was making this record, I thought, “What tracks? Nothing makes sense anymore. If there’s chaos everywhere, why don’t I just use the damn word I want to use in the song?”

McCartney: Exactly. So you’d see the word in a book and think, “I love that word”?

Swift: Yeah, I have favorite words, like “elegies” and “epiphany” and “divorcée,” and just words that I think sound beautiful, and I have lists and lists of them.

McCartney: How about “marzipan”?

Swift: Love “marzipan.”

McCartney: The other day, I was remembering when we wrote “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”: “kaleidoscope.”

Swift: “Kaleidoscope” is one of mine! I have a song on 1989, a song called “Welcome to New York,” that I put the word “kaleidoscope” in just because I’m obsessed with the word.

McCartney: I think a love of words is a great thing, particularly if you’re going to try to write a lyric, and for me, it’s like, “What is this going to say to that person?” I often feel like I’m writing to someone who is not doing so well. So I’m trying to write songs that might help. Not in a goody-goody, crusading kind of way, but just thinking there have been so many times in my life when I’ve heard a song and felt so much better. I think that’s the angle I want, that inspirational thing.

I remember once, a friend of mine from Liverpool, we were teenagers and we were going to a fairground. He was a schoolmate, and we had these jackets that had a little fleck in the material, which was the cool thing at the time.

Swift: We should have done matching jackets for this photo shoot.

McCartney: Find me a fleck, I’m in. But we went to the fair, and I just remember - this is what happens with songs - there was this girl at the fair. This is just a little Liverpool fair - it was in a place called Sefton Park - and there was this girl, who was so beautiful. She wasn’t a star. She was so beautiful. Everyone was following her, and it’s like, “Wow.” It’s like a magical scene, you know? But all this gave me a headache, so I ended up going back to his house - I didn’t normally get headaches. And we thought, “What can we do?” So we put on the Elvis song “All Shook Up.” By the end of that song, my headache had gone. I thought, you know, “That’s powerful.”

Swift: That really is powerful.

McCartney: I love that, when people stop me in the street and say, “Oh, I was going through an illness and I listened to a lot of your stuff, and I’m better now and it got me through,” or kids will say, “It got me through exams.” You know, they’re studying, they’re going crazy, but they put your music on. I’m sure it happens with a lot of your fans. It inspires them, you know?

Swift: Yeah, I definitely think about that as a goal. There’s so much stress everywhere you turn that I kind of wanted to make an album that felt sort of like a hug, or like your favorite sweater that makes you feel like you want to put it on.

McCartney: What, a “cardigan”?

Swift: Like a good cardigan, a good, worn-in cardigan. Or something that makes you reminisce on your childhood. I think sadness can be cozy. It can obviously be traumatic and stressful, too, but I kind of was trying to lean into sadness that feels like somehow enveloping in not such a scary way - like nostalgia and whimsy incorporated into a feeling like you’re not all right. Because I don’t think anybody was really feeling like they were in their prime this year. Isolation can mean escaping into your imagination in a way that’s kind of nice.

McCartney: I think a lot of people have found that. I would say to people, “I feel a bit guilty about saying I’m actually enjoying this quarantine thing,” and people go, “Yeah, I know, don’t say it to anyone.” A lot of people are really suffering.

Swift: Because there’s a lot in life that’s arbitrary. Completely and totally arbitrary. And [the quarantine] is really shining a light on that, and also a lot of things we have that we outsource that you can actually do yourself.

McCartney: I love that. This is why I said I live simply. That’s, like, at the core of it. With so many things, something goes wrong and you go, “Oh, I’ll get somebody to fix that.” And then it’s like, “No, let me have a look at it...”

Swift: Get a hammer and a nail.

McCartney: “Maybe I can put that picture up.” It’s not rocket science. The period after the Beatles, when we went to live in Scotland on a really - talk about dumpy - little farm. I mean, I see pictures of it now and I’m not ashamed, but I’m almost ashamed. Because it’s like, “God, nobody’s cleaned up around here.”

But it was really a relief. Because when I was with the Beatles, we’d formed Apple Records, and if I wanted a Christmas tree, someone would just buy it. And I thought, after a while, “No, you know what? I really would like to go and buy our Christmas tree. Because that’s what everyone does.” So you go down - “I’ll have that one” - and you carried it back. I mean, it’s little, but it’s huge at the same time.

I needed a table in Scotland and I was looking through a catalog and I thought, “I could make one. I did woodwork in school, so I know what a dovetail joint is.” So I just figured it out. I’m just sitting in the kitchen, and I’m whittling away at this wood and I made this little joint. There was no nail technology - it was glue. And I was scared to put it together. I said, “It’s not going to fit,” but one day, I got my woodwork glue and thought, “There’s no going back.” But it turned out to be a real nice little table I was very proud of. It was that sense of achievement.

The weird thing was, Stella went up to Scotland recently and I said, “Isn’t it there?” and she said, “No.” Anyway, I searched for it. Nobody remembered it. Somebody said, “Well, there’s a pile of wood in the corner of one of the barns, maybe that’s it. Maybe they used it for firewood.” I said, “No, it’s not firewood.” Anyway, we found it, and do you know how joyous that was for me? I was like, “You found my table?!” Somebody might say that’s a bit boring.

Swift: No, it’s cool!

McCartney: But it was a real sort of great thing for me to be able to do stuff for yourself. You were talking about sewing. I mean normally, in your position, you’ve got any amount of tailors.

Swift: Well, there’s been a bit of a baby boom recently; several of my friends have gotten pregnant.

McCartney: Oh, yeah, you’re at the age.

Swift: And I was just thinking, “I really want to spend time with my hands, making something for their children.” So I made this really cool flying-squirrel stuffed animal that I sent to one of my friends. I sent a teddy bear to another one, and I started making these little silk baby blankets with embroidery. It’s gotten pretty fancy. And I’ve been painting a lot.

McCartney: What do you paint? Watercolors?

Swift: Acrylic or oil. Whenever I do watercolor, all I paint is flowers. When I have oil, I really like to do landscapes. I always kind of return to painting a lonely little cottage on a hill.

McCartney: It’s a bit of a romantic dream. I agree with you, though, I think you’ve got to have dreams, particularly this year. You’ve got to have something to escape to. When you say “escapism,” it sounds like a dirty word, but this year, it definitely wasn’t. And in the books you’re reading, you’ve gone into that world. That’s, I think, a great thing. Then you come back out. I normally will read a lot before I go to bed. So I’ll come back out, then I’ll go to sleep, so I think it really is nice to have those dreams that can be fantasies or stuff you want to achieve.

Swift: You’re creating characters. This was the first album where I ever created characters, or wrote about the life of a real-life person. There’s a song called “The Last Great American Dynasty” that’s about this real-life heiress who lived just an absolutely chaotic, hectic...

McCartney: She’s a fantasy character?

Swift: She’s a real person. Who lived in the house that I live in.

McCartney: She’s a real person? I listened to that and I thought, “Who is this?”

Swift: Her name was Rebekah Harkness. And she lived in the house that I ended up buying in Rhode Island. That’s how I learned about her. But she was a woman who was very, very talked about, and everything she did was scandalous. I found a connection in that. But I also was thinking about how you write “Eleanor Rigby” and go into that whole story about what all these people in this town are doing and how their lives intersect, and I hadn’t really done that in a very long time with my music. It had always been so microscope personal.

McCartney: Yeah, ’cause you were writing breakup songs like they were going out of style.

Swift: I was, before my luck changed [laughs]. I still write breakup songs. I love a good breakup song. Because somewhere in the world, I always have a friend going through a breakup, and that will make me write one.

McCartney: Yeah, this goes back to this thing of me and John: When you’ve got a formula, break it. I don’t have a formula. It’s the mood I’m in. So I love the idea of writing a character. And, you know, trying to think, “What am I basing this on?” So “Eleanor Rigby” was based on old ladies I knew as a kid. For some reason or other, I got great relationships with a couple of local old ladies. I was thinking the other day, I don’t know how I met them, it wasn’t like they were family. I’d just run into them, and I’d do their shopping for them.

Swift: That’s amazing.

McCartney: It just felt good to me. I would sit and talk, and they’d have amazing stories. That’s what I liked. They would have stories from the wartime - because I was born actually in the war - and so these old ladies, they were participating in the war. This one lady I used to sort of just hang out with, she had a crystal radio that I found very magical. In the war, a lot of people made their own radios - you’d make them out of crystals [sings “The Twilight Zone” theme].

Swift: How did I not know this? That sounds like something I would have tried to learn about.

McCartney: It’s interesting, because there is a lot of parallels with the virus and lockdowns and wartime. It happened to everyone. Like, this isn’t HIV, or SARS, or Avian flu, which happened to others, generally. This has happened to everyone, all around the world. That’s the defining thing about this particular virus. And, you know, my parents... it happened to everyone in Britain, including the queen and Churchill. War happened. So they were all part of this thing, and they all had to figure out a way through it. So you figured out Folklore. I figured out McCartney III.

Swift: And a lot of people have been baking sourdough bread. Whatever gets you through!

McCartney: Some people used to make radios. And they’d take a crystal - we should look it up, but it actually is a crystal. I thought, “Oh, no, they just called it a crystal radio,” but it’s actually crystals like we know and love.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: And somehow they get the radio waves - this crystal attracts them - they tune it in, and that’s how they used to get their news. Back to “Eleanor Rigby,” so I would think of her and think of what she’s doing and then just try to get lyrical, just try to bring poetry into it, words you love, just try to get images like “picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,” and Father McKenzie “is darning his socks in the night.” You know, he’s a religious man, so I could’ve said, you know, “preparing his Bible,” which would have been more obvious. But “darning his socks” kind of says more about him. So you get into this lovely fantasy. And that’s the magic of songs, you know. It’s a black hole, and then you start doing this process, and then there’s this beautiful little flower that you’ve just made. So it is very like embroidery, making something.

Swift: Making a table.

McCartney: Making a table.

Swift: Wow, it would’ve been so fun to play Glastonbury for the 50th anniversary together.

McCartney: It would’ve been great, wouldn’t it? And I was going to be asking you to play with me.

Swift: Were you going to invite me? I was hoping that you would. I was going to ask you.

McCartney: I would’ve done “Shake It Off.”

Swift: Oh, my God, that would have been amazing.

McCartney: I know it, it’s in C!

Swift: One thing I just find so cool about you is that you really do seem to have the joy of it, still, just no matter what. You seem to have the purest sense of joy of playing an instrument and making music, and that’s just the best, I think.

McCartney: Well, we’re just so lucky, aren’t we?

Swift: We’re really lucky.

McCartney: I don’t know if it ever happens to you, but with me, it’s like, “Oh, my god, I’ve ended up as a musician.”

Swift: Yeah, I can’t believe it’s my job.

McCartney: I must tell you a story I told Mary the other day, which is just one of my favorite little sort of Beatles stories. We were in a terrible, big blizzard, going from London to Liverpool, which we always did. We’d be working in London and then drive back in the van, just the four of us with our roadie, who would be driving. And this was a blizzard. You couldn’t see the road. At one point, it slid off and it went down an embankment. So it was “Ahhh,” a bunch of yelling. We ended up at the bottom. It didn’t flip, luckily, but so there we are, and then it’s like, “Oh, how are we going to get back up? We’re in a van. It’s snowing, and there’s no way.” We’re all standing around in a little circle, and thinking, “What are we going to do?” And one of us said, “Well, something will happen.” And I thought that was just the greatest. I love that, that’s a philosophy.

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: And it did. We sort of went up the bank, we thumbed a lift, we got the lorry driver to take us, and Mal, our roadie, sorted the van and everything. So that was kind of our career. And I suppose that’s like how I ended up being a musician and a songwriter: “Something will happen.”

Swift: That’s the best.

McCartney: It’s so stupid it’s brilliant. It’s great if you’re ever in that sort of panic attack: “Oh, my God,” or, “Ahhh, what am I going to do?”

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: All right then, thanks for doing this, and this was, you know, a lot of fun.

Swift: You’re the best. This was so awesome. Those were some quality stories!

[springgirlwaiting4fall]

Hey S. T.!

Have you ever sat in a car with someone and it's just.....awkward? No one says anything, the radio isn't even on and it's just this very tense, uncomfortable silence?

Imagine yourself in the car with any AEW talents and what would you do about it. Who would be driving? What do you do to make it less awkward? Would it help or make things worse?

My whole existence has just been a series of awkward events that somehow formed my last 32 years on this earth. So to answer your question. Yes, I have been in plenty of cars sitting in awkward silence.

It was weird still working for AEW, especially since I have been a wrestling fan all my life. I have already been working as photographer for 6 months and still called Jim Ross and Billy Gunn “sir,” when I bumped into them backstage, even though they would roll their eyes and tell me to call them by their first names. So when the rumors started that William Regal was possibly coming to AEW, and than all of a sudden he really did show up, I had hide in the ladies room and squeal like a fan girl before going back to work. Than I had to go back in the bathroom to jump out my excitement when my boss told me I would be going over to a gym to take photos of the BBC during their training promo. The day of filming I double checked my gear before calling a Uber and getting to the set 30 minutes early. Like I said earlier my life is a series of awkward events, so it only makes sense that as soon as my Uber pulls away I get a text saying, they have to change places last minute.

It wasn’t a huge deal, I could just order a new Uber and arrive on time. While I was trying to re arrange all my bags and grab my phone from my back pocket, I heard a familiar voice call out “need some help?” I slowly turned around and saw the one and only William Regal, parked next to the sidewalk.

“Uh hello Sir,” my heart beating way too fast. “I don’t know if you heard yet, but they moved the training to a different gym.” He starred at me blankly, of course they would tell William Regal the change of plans before me.“I was just calling an Uber and heading over there.”

“Just got in the car Christine and stop calling me sir.” He pushed a button inside the car that opened the trunk for me to put my equipment in.

“Thank Mr. Regal sir.” My face flushed as I sat in the passenger seat.

“Oh for Christ sakes, stop calling me sir,” he muttered before taking off. And that’s how my awkward car ride with the one and only William Regal started.

The very first thing I noticed about Regals car was how cleaned it was. There was no hamburger wrappers, crumbled Receipts, or dust anywhere. He didn’t even keep spare change in his cup holder. The second thing I noticed was that it was dead silent in the car. No radio, no podcast, he didn’t even complain about the guy who just cut him off. Silence made me super uncomfortable, especially in contained spaces where no one could escape. I just had to talk.

“Thank you again for the ride Si-Señor.” He looked at me like I was crazy, but didn’t say anything. We drove down a block and the silence was making me dig my nails into the leather seats. “So do you like it here at AEdubs.” I called myself a stupid bitch in my head for calling AEW that.

“I am enjoying my time here at AEDub.” Somehow Willam Regal saying AEdubs sounded refined. “I heard you are the newest photographer here, that’s why I requested you. Us newbies need to stick together.” He was older than my father and I still felt myself blush at his charm.

The gps on the touch screen said there was only 5 minutes left. I could be quiet for 5 more minutes. “When I die I’m going to have my ashes put into soil and than plant a tree in the soil. What are your plans?” I watched in horror as Regals mouth dropped open, complete shock on his face.

The last 4 minutes and 30 seconds were spent in silence. He pulled into the parking lot. “You’re a strange bird…I quite enjoy it.” William Regal got out of the car, I sat in the car a smile growing on my face. A loud banging interrupted my thoughts. “Get out of the bloody car.”

This was way too fun to write. Thank you!!!

I never liked William Regal when I was a kid/teenagers in WWE. And when he came over to AEW I thought it was cool, but wasn’t thrilled or anything. But than Tumblr showed me my ways and I think…I think I want William Regal to be my Daddy. 😂☠️

[sgt-paul]

MUSICIANS ON MUSICIANS: Paul McCartney & Taylor Swift

© Mary McCartney

❝ During the shoot, Paul dances and takes almost none of it too seriously and sings along to Motown songs playing from the speakers. A few times Mary scolds, ‘Daaad, try to stand still!’ And it feels like a window into a pretty awesome family dynamic. ❞

interview below the cut:

Taylor Swift arrived early to Paul McCartney’s London office in October, “mask on, brimming with excitement.” “I mostly work from home these days,” she writes about that day, “and today feels like a rare school field trip that you actually want to go on.”

Swift showed up without a team, doing her own hair and makeup. In addition to being two of the most famous pop songwriters in the world, Swift and McCartney have spent the past year on similar journeys. McCartney, isolated at home in the U.K., recorded McCartney III. Like his first solo album, in 1970, he played nearly all of the instruments himself, resulting in some of his most wildly ambitious songs in a long time. Swift also took some new chances, writing over email with the National’s Aaron Dessner and recording the raw Folklore, which abandons arena pop entirely in favor of rich character songs. It’s the bestselling album of 2020.

Swift listened to McCartney III as she prepared for today’s conversation; McCartney delved into Folkore. Before the photo shoot, Swift caught up with his daughters Mary (who would be photographing them) and Stella (who designed Swift’s clothes; the two are close friends). “I’ve met Paul a few times, mostly onstage at parties, but we’ll get to that later,” Swift writes. “Soon he walks in with his wife, Nancy. They’re a sunny and playful pair, and I immediately feel like this will be a good day. During the shoot, Paul dances and takes almost none of it too seriously and sings along to Motown songs playing from the speakers. A few times Mary scolds, ‘Daaad, try to stand still!’ And it feels like a window into a pretty awesome family dynamic. We walk into his office for a chat, and after I make a nervous request, Paul is kind enough to handwrite my favorite lyric of his and sign it. He makes a joke about me selling it, and I laugh because it’s something I know I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. That’s around the time when we start talking about music.”

Taylor Swift: I think it’s important to note that if this year had gone the way that we thought it was going to go, you and I would have played Glastonbury this year, and instead, you and I both made albums in isolation.

Paul McCartney: Yeah!

Swift: And I remember thinking it would have been so much fun because the times that I’ve run into you, I correlate with being some of the most fun nights of my life. I was at a party with you, when everybody just started playing music. And it was Dave Grohl playing, and you…

McCartney: You were playing one of his songs, weren’t you?

Swift: Yes, I was playing his song called “Best of You,” but I was playing it on piano, and he didn’t recognize it until about halfway through. I just remember thinking, “Are you the catalyst for the most fun times ever?” Is it your willingness to get up and play music that makes everyone feel like this is a thing that can happen tonight?

McCartney: I mean, I think it’s a bit of everything, isn’t it? I’ll tell you who was very … Reese Witherspoon was like, “Are you going to sing?” I said “Oh, I don’t know.” She said, “You’ve got to, yeah!” She’s bossing me around. So I said, “Whoa,” so it’s a bit of that.

Swift: I love that person, because the party does not turn musical without that person.

McCartney: Yeah, that’s true.

Swift: If nobody says, “Can you guys play music?” we’re not going to invite ourselves up onstage at whatever living-room party it is.

McCartney: I seem to remember Woody Harrelson got on the piano, and he starts playing “Let It Be,” and I’m thinking, “I can do that better.” So I said, “Come on, move over, Woody.” So we’re both playing it. It was really nice.… I love people like Dan Aykroyd, who’s just full of energy and he loves his music so much, but he’s not necessarily a musician, but he just wanders around the room, just saying, “You got to get up, got to get up, do some stuff.”

Swift: I listened to your new record. And I loved a lot of things about it, but it really did feel like kind of a flex to write, produce, and play every instrument on every track. To me, that’s like flexing a muscle and saying, “I can do all this on my own if I have to.”

McCartney: Well, I don’t think like that, I must admit. I just picked up some of these instruments over the years. We had a piano at home that my dad played, so I picked around on that. I wrote the melody to “When I’m 64” when I was, you know, a teenager.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: When the Beatles went to Hamburg, there were always drum kits knocking around, so when there was a quiet moment, I’d say, “Do you mind if I have a knock around?” So I was able to practice, you know, without practicing. That’s why I play right-handed. Guitar was just the first instrument I got. Guitar turned to bass; it also turned into ukulele, mandolin. Suddenly, it’s like, “Wow,” but it’s really only two or three instruments.

Swift: Well, I think that’s downplaying it a little bit. In my mind, it came with a visual of you being in the country, kind of absorbing the sort of do-it-yourself [quality] that has had to come with the quarantine and this pandemic. I found that I’ve adapted a do-it-yourself mentality to a lot of things in my career that I used to outsource.  I’m just wondering what a day of recording in the pandemic looked like for you.

McCartney: Well, I’m very lucky because I have a studio that’s, like, 20 minutes away from where I live. We were in lockdown on a farm, a sheep farm with my daughter Mary and her four kids and her husband. So I had four of my grandkids, I had Mary, who’s a great cook, so I would just drive myself to the studio. And there were two other guys that could come in and we’d be very careful and distanced and everything: my engineer Steve, and then my equipment guy Keith. So the three of us made the record, and I just started off. I had to do a little bit of film music — I had to do an instrumental for a film thing — so I did that. And I just kept going, and that turned into the opening track on the album. I would just come in, say, “Oh, yeah, what are we gonna do?” [Then] have some sort of idea, and start doing it. Normally, I’d start with the instrument I wrote it on, either piano or guitar, and then probably add some drums and then a bit of bass till it started to sound like a record, and then just gradually layer it all up. It was fun.

Swift: That’s so cool.

McCartney: What about yours? You’re playing guitar and piano on yours.

Swift: Yeah, on some of it, but a lot of it was made with Aaron Dessner, who’s in a band called the National that I really love. And I had met him at a concert a year before, and I had a conversation with him, asking him how he writes. It’s my favorite thing to ask people who I’m a fan of. And he had an interesting answer. He said, “All the band members live in different parts of the world. So I make tracks. And I send them to our lead singer, Matt, and he writes the top line.” I just remember thinking, “That is really efficient.” And I kind of stored it in my brain as a future idea for a project. You know, how you have these ideas… “Maybe one day I’ll do this.” I always had in my head: “Maybe one day I’ll work with Aaron Dessner.”

So when lockdown happened, I was in L.A., and we kind of got stuck there. It’s not a terrible place to be stuck. We were there for four months maybe, and during that time, I sent an email to Aaron Dessner and I said, “Do you think you would want to work during this time? Because my brain is all scrambled, and I need to make something, even if we’re just kind of making songs that we don’t know what will happen…”

McCartney: Yeah, that was the thing. You could do stuff — you didn’t really worry it was going to turn into anything.

Swift: Yeah, and it turned out he had been writing instrumental tracks to keep from absolutely going crazy during the pandemic as well, so he sends me this file of probably 30 instrumentals, and the first one I opened ended up being a song called “Cardigan,” and it really happened rapid-fire like that. He’d send me a track; he’d make new tracks, add to the folder; I would write the entire top line for a song, and he wouldn’t know what the song would be about, what it was going to be called, where I was going to put the chorus. I had originally thought, “Maybe I’ll make an album in the next year, and put it out in January or something,” but it ended up being done and we put it out in July. And I just thought there are no rules anymore, because I used to put all these parameters on myself, like, “How will this song sound in a stadium? How will this song sound on radio?” If you take away all the parameters, what do you make? And I guess the answer is Folklore.

McCartney: And it’s more music for yourself than music that’s got to go do a job. My thing was similar to that: After having done this little bit of film music, I had a lot of stuff that I had been working on, but I’d said, “I’m just going home now,” and it’d be left half-finished. So I just started saying, “Well, what about that? I never finished that.” So we’d pull it out, and we said, “Oh, well, this could be good.” And because it didn’t have to amount to anything, I would say, “Ah, I really want to do tape loops. I don’t care if they fit on this song, I just want to do some.” So I go and make some tape loops, and put them in the song, just really trying to do stuff that I fancy.

I had no idea it would end up as an album; I may have been a bit less indulgent, but if a track was eight minutes long, to tell you the truth, what I thought was, “I’ll be taking it home tonight, Mary will be cooking, the grandkids will all be there running around, and someone, maybe Simon, Mary’s husband, is going to say, ‘What did you do today?’ And I’m going to go, ‘Oh,’ and then get my phone and play it for them.” So this became the ritual.

Swift: That’s the coziest thing I’ve ever heard.

McCartney: Well, it’s like eight minutes long, and I said, “I hate it when I’m playing someone something and it finishes after three minutes.” I kind of like that it just [continues] on.

Swift: You want to stay in the zone.

McCartney: It just keeps going on. I would just come home, “Well, what did you do today?” “Oh, well, I did this. I’m halfway through this,” or, “We finished this.”

Swift: I was wondering about the numerology element to McCartney III. McCartney I, II, and III have all come out on years with zeroes.

McCartney: Ends of decades.

Swift: Was that important?

McCartney: Yeah, well, this was being done in 2020, and I didn’t really think about it. I think everyone expected great things of 2020. “It’s gonna be great! Look at that number! 2020! Auspicious!” Then suddenly Covid hit, and it was like, “That’s gonna be auspicious all right, but maybe for the wrong reasons.” Someone said to me, “Well, you put out McCartney right after the Beatles broke up, and that was 1970, and then you did McCartney II in 1980.” And I said, “Oh, I’m going to release this in 2020 just for whatever you call it, the numerology.…”

Swift: The numerology, the kind of look, the symbolism. I love numbers. Numbers kind of rule my whole world. The numbers 13  … 89 is a big one. I have a few others that I find…

McCartney: Thirteen is lucky for some.

Swift: Yeah, it’s lucky for me. It’s my birthday. It’s all these weird coincidences of good things that have happened. Now, when I see it places, I look at it as a sign that things are going the way they’re supposed to. They may not be good now, they could be painful now, but things are on a track. I don’t know, I love the numerology.

McCartney: It’s spooky, Taylor. It’s very spooky. Now wait a minute: Where’d you get 89?

Swift: That’s when I was born, in 1989, and so I see it in different places and I just think it’s…

McCartney: No, it’s good. I like that, where certain things you attach yourself to, and you get a good feeling off them. I think that’s great.

Swift: Yeah, one of my favorite artists, Bon Iver, he has this thing with the number 22. But I was also wondering: You have always kind of seeked out a band or a communal atmosphere with like, you know, the Beatles and Wings, and then Egypt Station. I thought it was interesting when I realized you had made a record with no one else. I just wondered, did that feel natural?

McCartney: It’s one of the things I’ve done. Like with McCartney, because the Beatles had broken up, there was no alternative but to get a drum kit at home, get a guitar, get an amp, get a bass, and just make something for myself. So on that album, which I didn’t really expect to do very well, I don’t think it did. But people sort of say, “I like that. It was a very casual album.” It didn’t really have to mean anything. So I’ve done that, the play-everything-myself thing. And then I discovered synths and stuff, and sequencers, so I had a few of those at home. I just thought I’m going to play around with this and record it, so that became McCartney II. But it’s a thing I do. Certain people can do it. Stevie Wonder can do it. Stevie Winwood, I believe, has done it. So there are certain people quite like that.

When you’re working with someone else, you have to worry about their variances. Whereas your own variance, you kind of know it. It’s just something I’ve grown to like. Once you can do it, it becomes a little bit addictive. I actually made some records under the name the Fireman.

Swift: Love a pseudonym.

McCartney: Yeah, for the fun! But, you know, let’s face it, you crave fame and attention when you’re young. And I just remembered the other day, I was the guy in the Beatles that would write to journalists and say [speaks in a formal voice]: “We are a semiprofessional rock combo, and I’d think you’d like [us].… We’ve written over 100 songs (which was a lie), my friend John and I. If you mention us in your newspaper…” You know, I was always, like, craving the attention.

Swift: The hustle! That’s so great, though.

McCartney: Well, yeah, you need that.

Swift: Yeah, I think, when a pseudonym comes in is when you still have a love for making the work and you don’t want the work to become overshadowed by this thing that’s been built around you, based on what people know about you. And that’s when it’s really fun to create fake names and write under them.

McCartney: Do you ever do that?

Swift: Oh, yeah.

McCartney: Oh, yeah? Oh, well, we didn’t know that! Is that a widely known fact?

Swift: I think it is now, but it wasn’t. I wrote under the name Nils Sjöberg because those are two of the most popular names of Swedish males. I wrote this song called “This Is What You Came For” that Rihanna ended up singing. And nobody knew for a while. I remembered always hearing that when Prince wrote “Manic Monday,” they didn’t reveal it for a couple of months.

McCartney: Yeah, it also proves you can do something without the fame tag. I did something for Peter and Gordon; my girlfriend’s brother and his mate were in a band called Peter and Gordon. And I used to write under the name Bernard Webb.

Swift: [Laughs.] That’s a good one! I love it.

McCartney: As Americans call it, Ber-nard Webb. I did the Fireman thing. I worked with a producer, a guy called Youth, who’s this real cool dude. We got along great. He did a mix for me early on, and we got friendly. I would just go into the studio, and he would say, “Hey, what about this groove?” and he’d just made me have a little groove going. He’d say, “You ought to put some bass on it. Put some drums on it.” I’d just spend the whole day putting stuff on it. And we’d make these tracks, and nobody knew who Fireman was for a while. We must have sold all of 15 copies.

Swift: Thrilling, absolutely thrilling.

McCartney: And we didn’t mind, you know?

Swift: I think it’s so cool that you do projects that are just for you. Because I went with my family to see you in concert in 2010 or 2011, and the thing I took away from the show most was that it was the most selfless set list I had ever seen. It was completely geared toward what it would thrill us to hear. It had new stuff, but it had every hit we wanted to hear, every song we’d ever cried to, every song people had gotten married to, or been brokenhearted to. And I just remembered thinking, “I’ve got to remember that,” that you do that set list for your fans.

McCartney: You do that, do you?

Swift: I do now. I think that learning that lesson from you taught me at a really important stage in my career that if people want to hear “Love Story” and “Shake It Off,” and I’ve played them 300 million times, play them the 300-millionth-and-first time. I think there are times to be selfish in your career, and times to be selfless, and sometimes they line up.

McCartney: I always remembered going to concerts as a kid, completely before the Beatles, and I really hoped they would play the ones I loved. And if they didn’t, it was kind of disappointing. I had no money, and the family wasn’t wealthy. So this would be a big deal for me, to save up for months to afford the concert ticket.

Swift: Yeah, it feels like a bond. It feels like that person on the stage has given something, and it makes you as a crowd want to give even more back, in terms of applause, in terms of dedication. And I just remembered feeling that bond in the crowd, and thinking, “He’s up there playing these Beatles songs, my dad is crying, my mom is trying to figure out how to work her phone because her hands are shaking so much.” Because seeing the excitement course through not only me, but my family and the entire crowd in Nashville, it just was really special. I love learning lessons and not having to learn them the hard way. Like learning nice lessons I really value.

McCartney: Well, that’s great, and I’m glad that set you on that path. I understand people who don’t want to do that, and if you do, they’ll say, “Oh, it’s a jukebox show.” I hear what they’re saying. But I think it’s a bit of a cheat, because the people who come to our shows have spent a lot of money. We can afford to go to a couple of shows and it doesn’t make much difference. But a lot of ordinary working folks … it’s a big event in their life, and so I try and deliver. I also, like you say, try and put in a few weirdos.

Swift: That’s the best. I want to hear current things, too, to update me on where the artist is. I was wondering about lyrics, and where you were lyrically when you were making this record. Because when I was making Folklore, I went lyrically in a total direction of escapism and romanticism. And I wrote songs imagining I was, like, a pioneer woman in a forbidden love affair [laughs]. I was completely …

McCartney: Was this “I want to give you a child”? Is that one of the lines?

Swift: Oh, that’s a song called “Peace.”

McCartney: “Peace,” I like that one.

Swift: “Peace” is actually more rooted in my personal life. I know you have done a really excellent job of this in your personal life: carving out a human life within a public life, and how scary that can be when you do fall in love and you meet someone, especially if you’ve met someone who has a very grounded, normal way of living. I, oftentimes, in my anxieties, can control how I am as a person and how normal I act and rationalize things, but I cannot control if there are 20 photographers outside in the bushes and what they do and if they follow our car and if they interrupt our lives. I can’t control if there’s going to be a fake weird headline about us in the news tomorrow.

McCartney: So how does that go? Does your partner sympathize with that and understand?

Swift: Oh, absolutely.

McCartney: They have to, don’t they?

Swift: But I think that in knowing him and being in the relationship I am in now, I have definitely made decisions that have made my life feel more like a real life and less like just a storyline to be commented on in tabloids. Whether that’s deciding where to live, who to hang out with, when to not take a picture — the idea of privacy feels so strange to try to explain, but it’s really just trying to find bits of normalcy. That’s what that song “Peace” is talking about. Like, would it be enough if I could never fully achieve the normalcy that we both crave? Stella always tells me that she had as normal a childhood as she could ever hope for under the circumstances.

McCartney: Yeah, it was very important to us to try and keep their feet on the ground amongst the craziness.

Swift: She went to a regular school .…

McCartney: Yeah, she did.

Swift: And you would go trick-or-treating with them, wearing masks.

McCartney: All of them did, yeah. It was important, but it worked pretty well, because when they kind of reached adulthood, they would meet other kids who might have gone to private schools, who were a little less grounded.

And they could be the budding mothers to [kids]. I remember Mary had a friend, Orlando. Not Bloom. She used to really counsel him. And it’s ’cause she’d gone through that. Obviously, they got made fun of, my kids. They’d come in the classroom and somebody would sing, “Na na na na,” you know, one of the songs. And they’d have to handle that. They’d have to front it out.

Swift: Did that give you a lot of anxiety when you had kids, when you felt like all this pressure that’s been put on me is spilling over onto them, that they didn’t sign up for it? Was that hard for you?

McCartney: Yeah, a little bit, but it wasn’t like it is now. You know, we were just living a kind of semi-hippie life, where we withdrew from a lot of stuff. The kids would be doing all the ordinary things, and their school friends would be coming up to the house and having parties, and it was just great. I remember one lovely evening when it was Stella’s birthday, and she brought a bunch of school kids up. And, you know, they’d all ignore me. It happens very quickly. At first they’re like, “Oh, yeah, he’s like a famous guy,” and then it’s like [yawns]. I like that. I go in the other room and suddenly I hear this music going on. And one of the kids, his name was Luke, and he’s doing break dancing.

Swift: Ohhh!

McCartney: He was a really good break dancer, so all the kids are hanging out. That allowed them to be kind of normal with those kids. The other thing is, I don’t live fancy. I really don’t. Sometimes it’s a little bit of an embarrassment, if I’ve got someone coming to visit me, or who I know…

Swift: Cares about that stuff?

McCartney: Who’s got a nice big house, you know. Quincy Jones came to see me and I’m, like, making him a veggie burger or something. I’m doing some cooking. This was after I’d lost Linda, in between there. But the point I’m making is that I’m very consciously thinking, “Oh, God, Quincy’s got to be thinking, ‘What is this guy on? He hasn’t got big things going on. It’s not a fancy house at all. And we’re eating in the kitchen! He’s not even got the dining room going,’” you know?

Swift: I think that sounds like a perfect day.

McCartney: But that’s me. I’m awkward like that. That’s my kind of thing. Maybe I should have, like, a big stately home. Maybe I should get a staff. But I think I couldn’t do that. I’d be so embarrassed. I’d want to walk around dressed as I want to walk around, or naked, if I wanted to.

Swift: That can’t happen in Downton Abbey.

McCartney: [Laughs.] Exactly.

Swift: I remember what I wanted to know about, which is lyrics. Like, when you’re in this kind of strange, unparalleled time, and you’re making this record, are lyrics first? Or is it when you get a little melodic idea?

McCartney: It was a bit of both. As it kind of always is with me. There’s no fixed way. People used to ask me and John, “Well, who does the words, who does the music?” I used to say, “We both do both.” We used to say we don’t have a formula, and we don’t want one. Because the minute we get a formula, we should rip it up. I will sometimes, as I did with a couple of songs on this album, sit down at the piano and just start noodling around, and I’ll get a little idea and start to fill that out. So the lyrics — for me, it’s following a trail. I’ll start [sings “Find My Way,” a song from “McCartney III”]: “I can find my way. I know my left from right, da da da.” And I’ll just sort of fill it in. Like, we know this song, and I’m trying to remember the lyrics. Sometimes I’ll just be inspired by something. I had a little book which was all about the constellations and the stars and the orbits of Venus and.…

Swift: Oh, I know that song — “The Kiss of Venus”?

McCartney: Yeah, “The Kiss of Venus.” And I just thought, “That’s a nice phrase.” So I was actually just taking phrases out of the book, harmonic sounds. And the book is talking about the maths of the universe, and how when things orbit around each other, and if you trace all the patterns, it becomes like a lotus flower.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: It’s very magical.

Swift: That is magical. I definitely relate to needing to find magical things in this very not-magical time, needing to read more books and learn to sew, and watch movies that take place hundreds of years ago. In a time where, if you look at the news, you just want to have a panic attack — I really relate to the idea that you are thinking about stars and constellations.

McCartney: Did you do that on Folklore?

Swift: Yes. I was reading so much more than I ever did, and watching so many more films.

McCartney: What stuff were you reading?

Swift: I was reading, you know, books like Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier, which I highly recommend, and books that dealt with times past, a world that doesn’t exist anymore. I was also using words I always wanted to use — kind of bigger, flowerier, prettier words, like “epiphany,” in songs. I always thought, “Well, that’ll never track on pop radio,” but when I was making this record, I thought, “What tracks? Nothing makes sense anymore. If there’s chaos everywhere, why don’t I just use the damn word I want to use in the song?”

McCartney: Exactly. So you’d see the word in a book and think, “I love that word”?

Swift: Yeah, I have favorite words, like “elegies” and “epiphany” and “divorcée,” and just words that I think sound beautiful, and I have lists and lists of them.

McCartney: How about “marzipan”?

Swift: Love “marzipan.”

McCartney: The other day, I was remembering when we wrote “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”: “kaleidoscope.”

Swift: “Kaleidoscope” is one of mine! I have a song on 1989, a song called “Welcome to New York,” that I put the word “kaleidoscope” in just because I’m obsessed with the word.

McCartney: I think a love of words is a great thing, particularly if you’re going to try to write a lyric, and for me, it’s like, “What is this going to say to that person?” I often feel like I’m writing to someone who is not doing so well. So I’m trying to write songs that might help. Not in a goody-goody, crusading kind of way, but just thinking there have been so many times in my life when I’ve heard a song and felt so much better. I think that’s the angle I want, that inspirational thing.

I remember once, a friend of mine from Liverpool, we were teenagers and we were going to a fairground. He was a schoolmate, and we had these jackets that had a little fleck in the material, which was the cool thing at the time.

Swift: We should have done matching jackets for this photo shoot.

McCartney: Find me a fleck, I’m in. But we went to the fair, and I just remember — this is what happens with songs — there was this girl at the fair. This is just a little Liverpool fair — it was in a place called Sefton Park — and there was this girl, who was so beautiful. She wasn’t a star. She was so beautiful. Everyone was following her, and it’s like, “Wow.” It’s like a magical scene, you know? But all this gave me a headache, so I ended up going back to his house — I didn’t normally get headaches. And we thought, “What can we do?” So we put on the Elvis song “All Shook Up.” By the end of that song, my headache had gone. I thought, you know, “That’s powerful.”

Swift: That really is powerful.

McCartney: I love that, when people stop me in the street and say, “Oh, I was going through an illness and I listened to a lot of your stuff, and I’m better now and it got me through,” or kids will say, “It got me through exams.” You know, they’re studying, they’re going crazy, but they put your music on. I’m sure it happens with a lot of your fans. It inspires them, you know?

Swift: Yeah, I definitely think about that as a goal. There’s so much stress everywhere you turn that I kind of wanted to make an album that felt sort of like a hug, or like your favorite sweater that makes you feel like you want to put it on.

McCartney: What, a “cardigan”?

Swift: Like a good cardigan, a good, worn-in cardigan. Or something that makes you reminisce on your childhood. I think sadness can be cozy. It can obviously be traumatic and stressful, too, but I kind of was trying to lean into sadness that feels like somehow enveloping in not such a scary way — like nostalgia and whimsy incorporated into a feeling like you’re not all right. Because I don’t think anybody was really feeling like they were in their prime this year. Isolation can mean escaping into your imagination in a way that’s kind of nice.

McCartney: I think a lot of people have found that. I would say to people, “I feel a bit guilty about saying I’m actually enjoying this quarantine thing,” and people go, “Yeah, I know, don’t say it to anyone.” A lot of people are really suffering.

Swift: Because there’s a lot in life that’s arbitrary. Completely and totally arbitrary. And [the quarantine] is really shining a light on that, and also a lot of things we have that we outsource that you can actually do yourself.

McCartney: I love that. This is why I said I live simply. That’s, like, at the core of it. With so many things, something goes wrong and you go, “Oh, I’ll get somebody to fix that.” And then it’s like, “No, let me have a look at it.…”

Swift: Get a hammer and a nail.

McCartney: “Maybe I can put that picture up.” It’s not rocket science. The period after the Beatles, when we went to live in Scotland on a really — talk about dumpy — little farm. I mean, I see pictures of it now and I’m not ashamed, but I’m almost ashamed. Because it’s like, “God, nobody’s cleaned up around here.”

But it was really a relief. Because when I was with the Beatles, we’d formed Apple Records, and if I wanted a Christmas tree, someone would just buy it. And I thought, after a while, “No, you know what? I really would like to go and buy our Christmas tree. Because that’s what everyone does.” So you go down — “I’ll have that one” — and you carried it back. I mean, it’s little, but it’s huge at the same time.

I needed a table in Scotland and I was looking through a catalog and I thought, “I could make one. I did woodwork in school, so I know what a dovetail joint is.” So I just figured it out. I’m just sitting in the kitchen, and I’m whittling away at this wood and I made this little joint. There was no nail technology — it was glue. And I was scared to put it together. I said, “It’s not going to fit,” but one day, I got my woodwork glue and thought, “There’s no going back.” But it turned out to be a real nice little table I was very proud of. It was that sense of achievement.

The weird thing was, Stella went up to Scotland recently and I said, “Isn’t it there?” and she said, “No.” Anyway, I searched for it. Nobody remembered it. Somebody said, “Well, there’s a pile of wood in the corner of one of the barns, maybe that’s it. Maybe they used it for firewood.” I said, “No, it’s not firewood.” Anyway, we found it, and do you know how joyous that was for me? I was like, “You found my table?!” Somebody might say that’s a bit boring.

Swift: No, it’s cool!

McCartney: But it was a real sort of great thing for me to be able to do stuff for yourself. You were talking about sewing. I mean normally, in your position, you’ve got any amount of tailors.

Swift: Well, there’s been a bit of a baby boom recently; several of my friends have gotten pregnant.

McCartney: Oh, yeah, you’re at the age.

Swift: And I was just thinking, “I really want to spend time with my hands, making something for their children.” So I made this really cool flying-squirrel stuffed animal that I sent to one of my friends. I sent a teddy bear to another one, and I started making these little silk baby blankets with embroidery. It’s gotten pretty fancy. And I’ve been painting a lot.

McCartney: What do you paint? Watercolors?

Swift: Acrylic or oil. Whenever I do watercolor, all I paint is flowers. When I have oil, I really like to do landscapes. I always kind of return to painting a lonely little cottage on a hill.

McCartney: It’s a bit of a romantic dream. I agree with you, though, I think you’ve got to have dreams, particularly this year. You’ve got to have something to escape to. When you say “escapism,” it sounds like a dirty word, but this year, it definitely wasn’t. And in the books you’re reading, you’ve gone into that world. That’s, I think, a great thing. Then you come back out. I normally will read a lot before I go to bed. So I’ll come back out, then I’ll go to sleep, so I think it really is nice to have those dreams that can be fantasies or stuff you want to achieve.

Swift: You’re creating characters. This was the first album where I ever created characters, or wrote about the life of a real-life person. There’s a song called “The Last Great American Dynasty” that’s about this real-life heiress who lived just an absolutely chaotic, hectic…

McCartney: She’s a fantasy character?

Swift: She’s a real person. Who lived in the house that I live in.

McCartney: She’s a real person? I listened to that and I thought, “Who is this?”

Swift: Her name was Rebekah Harkness. And she lived in the house that I ended up buying in Rhode Island. That’s how I learned about her. But she was a woman who was very, very talked about, and everything she did was scandalous. I found a connection in that. But I also was thinking about how you write “Eleanor Rigby” and go into that whole story about what all these people in this town are doing and how their lives intersect, and I hadn’t really done that in a very long time with my music. It had always been so microscope personal.

McCartney: Yeah, ’cause you were writing breakup songs like they were going out of style.

Swift: I was, before my luck changed [laughs]. I still write breakup songs. I love a good breakup song. Because somewhere in the world, I always have a friend going through a breakup, and that will make me write one.

McCartney: Yeah, this goes back to this thing of me and John: When you’ve got a formula, break it. I don’t have a formula. It’s the mood I’m in. So I love the idea of writing a character. And, you know, trying to think, “What am I basing this on?” So “Eleanor Rigby” was based on old ladies I knew as a kid. For some reason or other, I got great relationships with a couple of local old ladies. I was thinking the other day, I don’t know how I met them, it wasn’t like they were family. I’d just run into them, and I’d do their shopping for them.

Swift: That’s amazing.

McCartney: It just felt good to me. I would sit and talk, and they’d have amazing stories. That’s what I liked. They would have stories from the wartime — because I was born actually in the war — and so these old ladies, they were participating in the war. This one lady I used to sort of just hang out with, she had a crystal radio that I found very magical. In the war, a lot of people made their own radios — you’d make them out of crystals [sings “The Twilight Zone” theme].

Swift: How did I not know this? That sounds like something I would have tried to learn about.

McCartney: It’s interesting, because there is a lot of parallels with the virus and lockdowns and wartime. It happened to everyone. Like, this isn’t HIV, or SARS, or Avian flu, which happened to others, generally. This has happened to everyone, all around the world. That’s the defining thing about this particular virus. And, you know, my parents … it happened to everyone in Britain, including the queen and Churchill. War happened. So they were all part of this thing, and they all had to figure out a way through it. So you figured out Folklore. I figured out McCartney III.

Swift: And a lot of people have been baking sourdough bread. Whatever gets you through!

McCartney: Some people used to make radios. And they’d take a crystal — we should look it up, but it actually is a crystal. I thought, “Oh, no, they just called it a crystal radio,” but it’s actually crystals like we know and love.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: And somehow they get the radio waves — this crystal attracts them — they tune it in, and that’s how they used to get their news. Back to “Eleanor Rigby,” so I would think of her and think of what she’s doing and then just try to get lyrical, just try to bring poetry into it, words you love, just try to get images like “picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,” and Father McKenzie “is darning his socks in the night.” You know, he’s a religious man, so I could’ve said, you know, “preparing his Bible,” which would have been more obvious. But “darning his socks” kind of says more about him. So you get into this lovely fantasy. And that’s the magic of songs, you know. It’s a black hole, and then you start doing this process, and then there’s this beautiful little flower that you’ve just made. So it is very like embroidery, making something.

Swift: Making a table.

McCartney: Making a table.

Swift: Wow, it would’ve been so fun to play Glastonbury for the 50th anniversary together.

McCartney: It would’ve been great, wouldn’t it? And I was going to be asking you to play with me.

Swift: Were you going to invite me? I was hoping that you would. I was going to ask you.

McCartney: I would’ve done “Shake It Off.”

Swift: Oh, my God, that would have been amazing.

McCartney: I know it, it’s in C!

Swift: One thing I just find so cool about you is that you really do seem to have the joy of it, still, just no matter what. You seem to have the purest sense of joy of playing an instrument and making music, and that’s just the best, I think.

McCartney: Well, we’re just so lucky, aren’t we?

Swift: We’re really lucky.

McCartney: I don’t know if it ever happens to you, but with me, it’s like, “Oh, my god, I’ve ended up as a musician.”

Swift: Yeah, I can’t believe it’s my job.

McCartney: I must tell you a story I told Mary the other day, which is just one of my favorite little sort of Beatles stories. We were in a terrible, big blizzard, going from London to Liverpool, which we always did. We’d be working in London and then drive back in the van, just the four of us with our roadie, who would be driving. And this was a blizzard. You couldn’t see the road. At one point, it slid off and it went down an embankment. So it was “Ahhh,” a bunch of yelling. We ended up at the bottom. It didn’t flip, luckily, but so there we are, and then it’s like, “Oh, how are we going to get back up? We’re in a van. It’s snowing, and there’s no way.” We’re all standing around in a little circle, and thinking, “What are we going to do?” And one of us said, “Well, something will happen.” And I thought that was just the greatest. I love that, that’s a philosophy.

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: And it did. We sort of went up the bank, we thumbed a lift, we got the lorry driver to take us, and Mal, our roadie, sorted the van and everything. So that was kind of our career. And I suppose that’s like how I ended up being a musician and a songwriter: “Something will happen.”

Swift: That’s the best.

McCartney: It’s so stupid it’s brilliant. It’s great if you’re ever in that sort of panic attack: “Oh, my God,” or, “Ahhh, what am I going to do?”

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: All right then, thanks for doing this, and this was, you know, a lot of fun.

Swift: You’re the best. This was so awesome. Those were some quality stories!

[avinaccia]

A Completely Objective and Logical Ranking of Every Hetalia Character Song

New character songs are dropping,  I have too much time on my hands, let’s go. 

Also here’s a Youtube playlist for the ~✨nostalgia✨~

Bring it on in the tags 

71. Ah Legendary Class⭐The Awesome Me Highway [Prussia]: Absolutely tearing it up on the drums and on the vocal cords alike (I pray for Atsushi Kousaka). Great for the memes. 

70.  Happy Thoughts Museum [???]: This is listed as an official song but I had literally never heard of the title. Then I listened to it and BAM! Smack back to 2013 watching the teasers for the show on Funimation. Not sure I’d count it as a character song though...

69. (Nice)  My Song that is written by me for me [Prussia]: Deafened me but I can appreciate the industrial grind.

68.  My House is...Quiet. ~With the Trolls~ [Norway]: I have never heard this song, nor can I find any version of it online. By default it goes here and I am so sorry Norge.

67.  Make a Wish to Santa♪ [Sealand]: The discordant notes and childish exuberance only serve to make this sound like a demonic plea to Santa to eliminate the singer’s enemies.

66.  Heaven and Hell on Earth [Rome]: Rome sounds like he’s been in the corner of a restroom. Extra points for the metal version, minus points for the fact that the beach scene was replayed like 1764 times.

65. Canada Complete Introduction [Canada]: Quiet af until Kumacheerio shows up and blows out your speakers. they did you dirty my darling 😔

64.  It’s Easy!!! [America]: I don't think any video of this has ever stayed up for more than 20 seconds. Sounds cool, but like I was listening to 20 different genres at once, someone make him calm down.

63.  Bù Zàiyì the Small Stuff ☆ [China]: I cannot for the life of me find the complete song anywhere, clips have a cool beat though

62.  Let's Boil Hot Water♪ [Italy]: Exactly what it says on the tin..though a bit too close to elevator music for my tastes.

61.  The Fragrance of Early Summer [Japan]: Very ‘from the books’ Japan-esque song

60.  Peace Sounds Nice…[Baltic Trio]: All well and good until the radio demon shows up

59.  W●D●C ~World Dancing~ [America]: How a song can sound like it’s from 4 different decades at once is beyond me

58.  Overflowing Passion [BFT]: This is just drunken karaoke and I have 0 clue what’s going on #iconicforallthewrongreasons

57. Ren●Ren●Renaissance♪ [Rome+Chibitalia]: Wholesome Grandpa with Grandson content - barring the fact that Italy sounds on the verge of a nervous breakdown and Rome has had too much wine.

56.  Roma Antiqua [Rome]: Similar energy to any one of China’s songs - there’s a part of the song where it sounds like he’s singing in the shower, and I will never not laugh at [CENSORED]

55.  Country From Where the Sun Rises, Zipangu [Japan]: Very chill, very Japan, but just meh for me.

54.  Moon Over Emei Shan [China]: Good message, okay song.

53.  My Friend [England]: What a mind palace you must have Mr. Kirkland

52.  With Love, from Iceland [Iceland]: Three words: Heavy. Metal. Puffin.

51.  Having Friends is Nice...♫ [Russia]: Russia is the cutest thing ever

50.  Mm. [Sweden]: Smooth transition from WWE Smackdown to shopping at IKEA.

49.  Why don’t you come over? ~Beyond the Northern Lights~ [Iceland]: I don’t want to be mean but...this does sound like the second closing theme to an anime whose first closing was much more popular (à la Soul Eater)

48. Gakuen☆Festa [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Sounds like a 60s song of the summer but oh dear their voices do not go together. Hella cute though.

47.  Wa! Wa!! World Ondo [Main Cast]: One time I travelled 10 hours in a coach bus with a bunch of teenagers to a city of note in my country, and the only souvenir I bought was the fucking PAINT IT WHITE DVD. Perfectly chaotic, UN ĐĕùX~~

46.  In the Bluebell Woods [England]: In the album cover for this song he’s holding a guitar but this is not a rock song. Still has ‘running through the hills’ levels of dramatism though.

45.  Poi Poi Poi♪ [Taiwan]: You’re telling me that Taiwan, someone whose has *ONE LINE* in Beautiful World (which is criminal tbh what kind of representation-) managed to get an eNTIRE CHARACTER SONG???????

44.  White Flame [Russia]: There’s something to be said for a song that is 3x the length of any Hetalia episode

43.  Ich liebe… [Germany]: Baking cakes for your friends has never been so wholesome.

42.  We Wish you a Merry Christmas [America, China, England, France, Russia]: Nice to see they’ve gotten their shit together since United Nations Sta-hmm.

41.  Ah, Worldwide à la mode [France]: Sounds like a Disney Princess song, hard not to picture France frolicking in a field of flowers.

40.  Che Bello! ~My House is the Greatest!⭐~ [Italy]: Would not be out of place in an advertisement for Sea World.

39.  May You Smile Today [Japan]: THE feel good song of the summer

38.  Let’s Look Behind the Rainbow [Italy]: I will protect you.

37.  I'm your HERO☆ [America]: “Anyone who’s sad or sullen will be arrested” did NOT age well.

36.  Mein Gott! [Prussia]: Alternating headphone effect at the beginning is cool, so is the confidence...the actual singing on the other hand...

35. Nihao⭐China [China]: Listen, all of China’s character songs are great, I just can’t vibe with this one like some of the others.

34.  Pechka ~Light My Heart~ [Russia]: I’m still having difficulty wrapping my head around the fact that this and Winter were released at the same time.

33.  Pukapuka⭐Vacation [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Seems just a bit too much like they’re running on a treadmill that’s picking up speed and trying to sing at the same time. Peppy.

32.  Santa Claus is Coming to Town [Germany, Italy, Japan]: This is unironically the best song sung by this trio; can only vibe with for two months out of the year though.

31.  Excuse Me, I Am Sorry [Japan]: Japan’s character traits speedrun. Gives me barbershop quartet vibes for some reason but is catchy as hell.

30.  The Story of Snow and Dreams [Russia]: A superhero anime opening in the making

29. England’s Evil Demon Summoning Song [England]: Sir that is not how you roast a marshmallow, don’t cut yourself on that edge.

28.  Moi Moi Sauna♪ [Finland]: Exactly the type of song you’d expect and it’s wonderful

27.  United Nations Star⭐ [America, China, England, France, Russia]: This isn’t as much of a song as it is a four minute struggle for everyone to sing without America yelling every 5 seconds...Like a particularly musical episode of Hetalia.

26.  Paris is Indeed Splendid [France]: Paris-pa-pa-pa-paris

25.  Absolutely Invincible British Gentleman [England]: Poppy, rocky, polka-dotty

24.  Vorwärts Marsch! [Germany]: To quote the comment section: “This sounds like a German version of I’ll Make a Man out of you.” There’s some truth to that.

23.  Hamburger Street [America]: The product of America’s rapper phase. 8/10 because he’s trying so hard and because I can unironically sing along to all of this.

22.  Hoi Sam☆Nice Guy [Hong Kong]: A song that would absolutely destroy the ankles of anyone in DDR.

21.  I Am German-Made [Germany]: There was once a version that had Germany and Prussia singing at the same time and it sounded positively demonic and Broadway could never

20.  La pasión no se detiene ~Unstoppable Passion~ [Spain]: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping...

19.  Fall in Love, Mademoiselle [France]: Sounds like it should be in Mozart Opera Rock, I have kiss kiss falled in love.

18. Embrace the Très Bien Moi [France]: This is the definition of SELF LOVE PEOPLE. 

17. Carrot and Stick [Belarus&Ukraine]: Absolutely DRIPPING in 2000s power ballad energy. The type of song that plays on repeat in the mind of the widow whose millionaire husband ‘mysteriously disappeared’ (and the only legit character song ever acknowledged by the anime)

16. C.B.C (Cowboyz Boot Camp) Vol. 1 [America]: AH MAH GAWWDDD

15. Winter [Russia]: Heavy metal fever dream and the perfect song for an angst-ridden teenager

14.  Seychelles Here ⭐ Vacation Island [Seychelles]: UN👏DER👏RA👏TED SONG👏OF 👏THE 👏SUM👏MER👏

13.  Nah, it will settle itself somehow [Romano]: One day I aspire to reach this level of chill

12.  Let’s Enjoy Today [England]: I will never not feel happy when listening to this.

11.  Einsamkeit [Germany]: Ludwig manages to air every single one of his worries about not being good enough compared to his friends and always being perceived as mean or uptight when he’s actually just a softie and now my heart hurts. 💔

10.  Aiyaa Four Thousand Years [China]: A very poignant and beautiful song about the passage of time and the inevitability of its passing; comparable to an ancient ballad complete with explosive crescendos and meaningful lyrics.

9.  Bon Bon Bon❤️C’est Bon C’est Bon! [France]: Peppy, cheerful, adorable, groundbreaking; has been my alarm tone for six years and I’ve yet to tire of it. 9/10 The moaning interspersed throughout has been an interesting wake-up call.

8.  Let’s Enjoy! Let’s Get Excited! Cheers! [Denmark]: This is on par with Everytime we Touch by Cascada in terms of rage potential unlocked (the good kind)

7.  Dream Journey [Japan]: Whoever’s playing the shakuhachi is absolutely KILLING IT. Dramatic, wonderful, great metaphors.

6.  Gourmet’s Heart Beginner Level [China]: Absolute banger, I’m a vegetarian but this would inspire me to eat shumai.

5.  Always with you...Nordic Five! [Nordic FIVVVVVEEEE]: Everyone harmonizes beautifully except for Denmark. Extremely catchy, number placement seemed appropriate. 

4.  Pub and GO! [England]: I love this trash man

3. Maji Kandou⭐Hong Kong Night [Hong Kong]: If you thought Denmark’s song was a banger JUST YOU WAIT. I WILL BLOW OUT MY SPEAKERS LISTENING TO LO-HA-SU.

2. Steady Rhythmus [Germany]: THIS SONG IS METAL AF. Seriously, if it can be classified as ‘hardcore’ by my father and his group of 50-somethings who have decided to single-handedly gatekeep the metal and hardrock genres, it can do anything.

1.  The Delicious Tomato Song 🍅 [Romano]: Beautiful, absolutely awe-inspiring, poignant, catchy lyrics with an extremely deep meaning that only years of meticulous research and analysis can unlock, Romano I love you.

BONUS: Closing Songs

5. Hatafutte Parade (World Series) 

4. Hetalian⭐Jet (The World Twinkle): The song is good, the dancing is cursed 

3. Chikyuu Marugoto Hug Shitainda (World⭐Stars)

2. Marukaite Chikyuu (Hetalia: Axis Powers): nE NE PaPA

1. Mawaru Chikyuu Rondo (The Beautiful World)

[black-arcana]

EPICA: 'We Already Started Working On New Music'

EPICA guitarists Mark Jansen and Isaac Delahaye spoke with Guitar Interactive at this year's Download festival in the United Kingdom about the progress of the songwriting sessions for the follow-up to 2021's "Omega" album. Mark said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "We already started working on new music. I don't know, actually, the status of every bandmember, because everybody is now in their own home studios making music. So I know that I am; I know [Isaac] is, because he talked about it. But I don't know from everybody. I don't know, for example, Rob, if he has already [written] some songs. But personally, it's going well, and I'm in a flow of inspiration."

Added Isaac: "Well, I have a two-and-a-half-year-old, so my flow of inspiration is not really one hundred percent. But, yeah, I'm working on a couple of ideas, and, actually, for the next album I thought I kind of have to… You always wanna reinvent yourself; don't do the same thing. So I'm still scanning, like, what can I do to break out of the usual way of writing? If something happens with that or not, we'll see. But I just like to think it over and see what else I can do with those seven strings. So that's happening right now. Then after the festivals, we have some writing camps where we all get together and start to [put all the pieces] together, work on each other's ideas."

A couple of months ago, EPICA frontwoman Simone Simons told Czech Republic's Backstage TV about the band's plans for a new LP: "After this year, all the festivals, we're gonna start writing a new record… All the bandmembers start writing songs in their home studio by themselves, but I haven't heard any of those songs yet… When inspiration strikes, we just start writing. But we're gonna schedule writing sessions. And we're all excited to write a new record."

Regarding how the songwriting works in EPICA, Simone said: "Well, it's mostly that first they have some music, some demos, and then I start to come up with vocal lines for that. That is mostly how it goes. The guys start writing the songs and then they give me a listen so I can already come up with vocal lines and then they can continue writing the songs to support the vocal lines. Sometimes songs are written really fast; sometimes it takes long. And inspiration can strike at the weirdest times. So it's good that we always have the phone that we can quickly record melodies, whether it's for vocals or like a guitar riff or anything. Everybody has a home studio, so it's very practical to quickly record ideas. And then we get together. Because we live in four different countries; we don't live in the same village. And then we actually sit together and finish writing the songs."

EPICA played two shows as the support act for METALLICA — on May 17 at Stade De France in Paris, France and on May 28 at Volksparkstadion in Hamburg, Germany. EPICA was added to the METALLICA bill as the replacement for FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH.

Last November, EPICA released "The Alchemy Project" through Atomic Fire Records. The EP was co-written and performed with diverse guests ranging from extremists like FLESHGOD APOCALYPSE, Niilo Sevänen (INSOMNIUM) and Björn "Speed" Strid (SOILWORK) along with melodic masters like Tommy Karevik (KAMELOT),keyboard legend Phil Lanzon (URIAH HEEP) and Roel Van Helden (POWERWOLF) to a once-in-a-lifetime song with Simons, Charlotte Wessels and Myrkur.

Just one day after the release of its anniversary reissues "We Still Take You With Us" and "Live At Paradiso", EPICA celebrated 20 years of existence live last September at 013 in Tilburg, Netherlands, the same place where they played their first show (supporting ANATHEMA) back in 2002.

EPICA was formed by Jansen after leaving AFTER FOREVER in 2002, and the band quickly gained attention outside their home country, taking big steps towards becoming the leading symphonic metal superpower they have long proven to be. After their ambitious debut "The Phantom Agony" (2002) and the surprisingly eclectic sophomore work "Consign To Oblivion" (2005),the road took them to new heights via their first concept masterpiece "The Divine Conspiracy" (2007) and their global breakthrough "Design Your Universe" (2009). 2012's opus "Requiem For The Indifferent", 2014's bedazzling "The Quantum Enigma" and "The Holographic Principle" (2016),cemented their reputation as not only one of the hardest-working metal bands in the business but also as one of the best. With "Omega", the final part of the metaphysical trilogy they began with "The Quantum Enigma", they reclaimed the throne without so much as the blink of an eye, amassing three million-plus streams during the first week of the album's release.

[zackcollins]

when i don’t belong, you say i am yours || erik johnson

masterlist

Author’s Note: Bonjour! I’ve officially hit a wall with the Tyson Jost fic, so I’ve decided to try to write other fics to see if that’ll help me figure out how to continue it. The best way forward is through, right? And to do that, I just gotta keep writing and hope something happens, I guess. Anyways. GIF credit to samgirard!

Warnings: I have no clue if this is even worth a warning, but. The reader is the parent of a disabled child. The disability is specifically mentioned to be autism, though it’s only used as a general term. I don’t want any pitchforks or torches showing up at my door, so I’ll just go ahead and say I am autistic myself. So, yeah. Don’t think there’s anything else. Feel free to let me know if I should warn about anything else though.

Word Count: 870 (short boi)

Title: You Say by Lauren Daigle

Additional: The reader is gender-neutral again. I’m just trying to go along with that survey that my friend and I did where people said they preferred the reader to have they/them pronouns. Which, to me at least, meant they wanted a gender-neutral reader. So, I’m doing the best I can to live up to that. Anyways. I hope you guys enjoy this!

Being the parent of a special needs child wasn't easy. Most of the small things about life, such as getting dressed, usually became big things. You knew this all too well. Your son, Hunter, was severely autistic and required quite a lot of supervision. Despite this fact, you were very patient with your son. You knew that Hunter couldn't really control the way he acted, so there was no need for you to get angry with him; it wouldn't solve anything.

However, your ex-husband, Tony, didn't get that. He would constantly yell at Hunter if he wasn't listening or if he was having a meltdown. Even though you and Tony had been high school sweethearts, you knew that you had had to divorce him and cut all ties with him. He was toxic to Hunter and being toxic wouldn't help your son thrive.

Today was the first time since the divorce was finalized eight months ago that you were going to take Hunter out in public without the help of one person or another. To say that you were nervous would be an understatement.

After spending twenty-one minutes exactly dressing Hunter in his coat and shoes, you both embarked on your journey to Hunter's favourite hamburger restaurant. You were thankful when the ride ended up being uneventful, save for the brief outburst of sorts that Hunter had when his favourite song came on the radio. Not one to disappoint your son, you had turned the radio up and listened with a smile on your face as he clapped and did his best to sing along with his limited verbal skills.

Once you were at the restaurant and seated at a table, Hunter started fidgeting. You reached across the table, grabbing Hunter's hand and rubbing small circles into it. That usually calmed your son down tenfold. This time, however, Hunter began to make noise.

People that were sat near you began to stare. You began to apologize profusely, somewhat embarrassed by Hunter’s outburst. Despite your apologies, a couple of people gave your son looks of disgust. One guy even stood from his seat and walked over to your table.

"Why don't you control your fucking child?" The guy seethed. "He is disturbing me."

Before you could answer, a man with blonde hair approached the table. You prepared yourself for more insults, but the guy, instead, turned to the guy that yelled at you.

"Look, buddy." When the man spoke, you saw that he had a couple front teeth missing. "The kid can't help it. It's kinda obvious that he's severely autistic."

"Oh, that explains it," The other guy snickered. "He's re--"

"Don't even say it," the toothless guy interjected. He glanced at you, to which you quickly mouthed 'thank you.' He nodded quickly before he looked back at the other guy. "Nobody is that. Just because he's different than you doesn't make him any less of a human being."

"This coming from a guy that has no front teeth," the rude guy chuckled darkly. "I wouldn't be surprised if you had such poor hygiene that you got terrible cavities that caused them to fall out."

"If you must know," the toothless guy pointed to the Erik Johnson Colorado Avalanche jersey that was hung on the wall above your table. "That's my jersey up there. I lost my teeth because I'm a hockey player." Erik sounded angry as he pointed an accusatory finger at the rude guy. "Now, if you don't leave these poor people alone, I will call the cops on you for harassment."

The rude guy raised his hands in surrender and walked away from your table. A chorus of applause echoed through the small dining room. Erik raised his hand in appreciation.

You slid over in the booth to allow Erik to sit down beside you. Erik pulled his phone out and handed it to Hunter, who clapped in excitement.

"EJ! EJ!" Hunter smiled as you watched him click onto YouTube.

"That's right, bud." Erik ruffled Hunter's hair before he turned to look at you. Your facial expression was one of relief. "You're welcome before you even say it."

"I appreciate it so much," you said, a small smile on your face. "This is the first time I've brought him out on my own since I got divorced eight months ago."

"Mind if I asked why you got divorced?"

"My ex-husband was incredibly toxic to Hunter. Tony was a lot like the guy you just shooed off. He would always yell at our son for not listening. He couldn't understand that Hunter couldn't help it."

Erik grabbed a napkin from the dispenser and a pen from his pocket. He scribbled his phone number down on it. He handed it to you. "Whenever you're ready to date again, give me a call. I would love to have you and Hunter come to a game."

You blushed deeply. Erik smiled as he grabbed his phone back from Hunter and slipped out of the booth. As soon as Erik was gone, you grabbed your phone and punched in Erik's number.

"Hello?" Erik answered after a couple of rings.

"It's (Y/N), the one whose son you defended. I'm ready for that date."

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Elland Road in Leeds, UK - May 29, 1982 (Part-2)

Fan Stories

“We got a coach from my home town (about 2 hours from memory) and drank an ocean of lager on the way, by the time we got there we needed the toilet so badly we could have exploded! We got into the stadium and waited for the first band of the day. Soon enough a not very well known (to me) American band came on called Heart. They weren't bad but did nothing for me. Then came The Teardrop Explodes who tried and who I reckoned did quite well despite the flying bottles of liquid being hurled at them from the crowd. After them was Joan Jett complete with Blackhearts who got the crowd going with "I Love Rock'n'Roll" mainly because Brian appeared at the side of the stage with his daughter to have a look. Eventually after a long wait the stage lights dimmed and a strange cranking sound started up and then you were suddenly aware of the drum beat to Flash thumping out and spotlights chasing around the stadium. This went on for a minute or so and the excitement was unbearable. All of a sudden in an explosion of smoke, lights, guitars, drums... Brian, John and Roger are there blasting out the opening part of The Hero. Seconds later in a gleaming white leather jacket out runs Freddie and it begins... A moment I will never forget along with many others from Queen shows since and before it. I can't say which show was my favourite as I loved them all but that moment WAS Queen, the sheer power, the anticipation, the fantastic musical ability and above all else the way they gave people what they crave more than anything... wonderful memories.” - whiteman

“29th May 1982 - a really nice warm day. We only lived a few miles away so walked down to Elland Road - I can't believe it - Queen live in my home town at the home of the greatest football team in the country (well maybe not now!). Got to the ground early and were allowed in by security, such a relaxed atmosphere. Saw band's soundcheck - great! So hot sun, never went behind stadium roofs. Got best suntan I have ever had! Heard Teardrop Explodes - not bad. Then you are aware of the beat of flash thumping out around the stadium, the smoke rises and bang - they are on! The greatest gig I have ever seen from the greatest live band in history. God bless you, Brian, Roger and John. Rest in peace, Freddie - we will never forget.” - Michael Quine

“This was my second ever gig, the first being Rory Gallagher the year before (I am sure I once read that Rory was one of Brian May's favourite guitarists). Anyway, being only 14 and not yet in the habit of getting off my face at gigs,I can remember that day very clearly. I am convinced I saw someone throw a hamburger at Julian Cope (Teardrop Explodes were going down like a lead balloon), and just as Julian was opening his gob to sing, he CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH. A huge cheer went up, then they stomped off. Somebody, possibly Queen's manager, came on and told everbody to behave. I also remember a fan getting on stage and Freddie expertly rolling him off the stage. I didnt like the Hot Space album much but was chuffed they were still a hard rock band. I bought the next edition of Kerrang mag and the write up of the gig said STUNNING. Great memory.” - Edwin

“I was 15 years old in 1982 when I attended my first ever concert. Fortunately for me, it was QUEEN's show at Leeds AFC ground in the North of England. I remember when my ticket arrived in the post, possibly 2-3 months before the concert, as was often the case in those days. I stuck my ticket on a cork notice board in my bedroom and could barely contain my excitement over the coming weeks. Every morning, I would wake up and look at the yellow ticket, wishing the days away. I imagined everything that could go wrong would. Queen would cancel the gig, I would break my leg, the family pet would die on the morning of the concert and it would be too insensitive of me to go, the transport wouldn't turn up or would break down, there would be a pile up on the motorway, I'd lose my ticket en route, etc, etc. As it turned out, May 29th 1982 was a hot and sunny day, perfect weather for an outdoor gig. I was CRAZY about Queen and had been since the age of 9 but I really didn't know what to expect on that day. Myself and three friends took a coach organised by my Dad's company from Lancashire across the M62 motorway to Leeds. Our excitement began to really take a hold when we arrived at the football ground and we followed the droves of people towards the turnstiles. To me, this was something on a really big scale and I could already hear the hum of the crowd inside. Not really believing that we were actually about to witness a Queen concert, we found our seats on the West Stand, offering a great view of the stage. I remember marvelling at Queen's new lighting rig and the equipment that adorned the stage, shining in the afternoon sunshine. The ground was almost full at this point and the pitch was heaving with people. The atmosphere was relaxed as people bathed in the sunshine. I remember two guys climbing the fence from the stand and attempting to get a better spot by running into the crowd and losing themselves on the pitch. Their efforts were in vain however as they were quickly located and ejected back into the stand by two security guards. We bought some black Hot Space tour shirts (I wore mine with pride until it literally fell apart) and a programme from a vendor inside the ground and waited for the first band to take the stage. A guy near us shouted and punched his way through Heart's set and then left just as they vacated the stage. Obviously not a Queen fan! The Teardrop Explodes suffered at the hands of the Queen congregation and found themselves battling against a shower of bottles and assorted missiles. Other than that, I don't really remember much about the support bands. I think that Bow Wow Wow were billed to play (an odd choice) but I can't recall if they actually turned up. No matter, we were about to witness what is still one of the best gigs I have ever attended.

As the dusk descended upon us, the giant floodlights were extinguished one by one and the memory of the roar that followed still sends shivers down my spine. Dry ice drifted across the heads of the crowd on the pitch as the intro tape of Flash thumped out of the PA and the strange 'grating' noises added to the recording created a foreboding atmosphere. Two of our party were on the pitch and to this day remember their chests thumping in unison to the powerful rhythm. A sea of hands clapped in perfect time to the beat. To me, this was already an amazing experience. And then the big moment. Freddie, resplendent in dazzling white made his entrance to The Hero and the blaze of the lights. An apt number to start with. Before he had even sung a note, the audience were locked tightly in the palm of his hand. Such an entrance, such a showman. "You're a F***in amazing crowd", he exclaimed after the first rush. The beginning of the gig is, in truth, my strongest memory of the show itself. In particular, the "Flash!!!" vocals cutting through the night air with so much volume. I recall being shocked at the sheer power of Queen's performance and the clarity of the huge sound they harnessed. Morgan Fisher's keyboards during 'Action This Day' sounded bright and hypnotic. Freddie's intro to Fat Bottomed Girls caused quite a response too; "the bigger the t*t the better it is!". I also remember the follow spots darting wildly over the crowd during 'Tie Your Mother Down' and everybody going crazy. Oddly enough (and this is something I still swear by to this day), I was in a Maths lesson at school the following Monday and I swear I had a flashback of this and could actually 'hear' the music being re-played in my head. It was a weird moment and life was never quite the same again. We talked endlessly about our experience for months to come and one of my biggest regrets is not jumping on a train to attend the filmed Milton Keynes show a week later. Having been to so many gigs since, I can honestly say that there is nobody who has been able to top Queen live; I was lucky enough to see the band five times between 1982 and 1986, including Wembley Stadium and their last show at Knebworth. I think that my personal favourite was their performance at the NEC in Birmingham on 'The Works' tour in 1984. People were literally stood there with open mouths, unable to believe how good they were. Leeds is definitely up there too. I recall Brian May stating that he thought it was one of their best performances ever. I can't argue with that Mr May. I've often wondered if an audience shot cine film or even just photographs exist from the Leeds gig. It would be a dream come true to see my memories come to life again.” - Keith Lambert

“I can't believe it was 30 years ago that I attended my first ever gig at Elland Rd Leeds in 1982. I was 17 years old at the time, I was into Queen when I first heard seven seas of rhye, which was so different to all the other stuff around at the time. I'd heard them live on tv, and had Live Killers. Also I used to buy bootleg cassettes of all of their tours from 74 onwards. But nothing could prepare me for that day. They should have played this gig at Old Trafford Manchester, my home town, so I was gutted when the residents opposed it. Tickets were very easy to come by, believe it or not, cos Queen were not seen as a relevant band at that time. Also touring the Hot Space album didn't seem to excite anybody. So, Billy no mates had to go on his own, haha. My memory is a bit hazy, but I will try my best. I got to the ground about 1pm, and was lucky enough to have a pitch ticket. I got right to the front, well about 10 yards from the stage, slightly off centre and to the right. If I told you I never moved from that spot all day and never spoke to anyone, would you believe me? One of the reasons for this is the rivalry between Manchester and Leeds, also I was only a kid, haha. Not sure who was first on, probably Teardrop Explodes, Julian Cope, I remember while they were throwing bottles at him, picked one up and started hitting himself with it and stretching his arms out saying he was an Argentinian bomber or something. It was during the Falklands war, remember. Then Heart came on, not really my cup of tea, and I had a lie down on the tarpaulin and tried to go to sleep. Then Joan Jett, who was better than the rest, but not really exciting. During the band changes, I remember the roadies polishing Roger's drum kit and climbing up ropes and those threepronged lights, which before I saw them move I thought they were cameras. Queen took ages to come on. From my recollection and I might be wrong, they didn't come on until 10pm and went off around Midnight. I heard later that they got fined so much per minute for being late on stage but they wanted to wait until it was dark for the lighting rig to take effect. If you watch the Bowl DVD you will notice it was light when they came on stage there. But that was being filmed by Channel 4. But it was absolutely pitch black when they came on stage at Leeds. Then the floodlights went off, smoke started to appear and strange noises started, which I can't describe, sorry. Then Flash's Theme started, it was loud, very, very loud. I knew they were supposed to be loud and this was the part that scared me. The ground was thumping, the bass just pumping away. The these 'cameras' flicked into life, with men on them. The intro seemed to last for a very long time. Then BANG Brian appears with the first chord of The Hero and a flash of the biggest white light I've ever seen and will never forget and the absolute loudest noise I have ever heard just hit me. The intro was quite in comparrision to this. When I play Live at the Bowl, I tend to repeat the intro and The Hero, virtually every time, because it was definitely a life changing experience for me at that moment, just incredible. Then Freddie appeared in brilliant white again, I was that close, I swear His hair seemed blue because of the mass of white lights. His voice, so loud, so clear, honestly, I can't describe that moment properly. I heard Freddie swear, saw Roger spitting, quite a lot, over his drum kit and onto the stage, I was bewildered.

When they did Play The Game and also Somebody To Love, when Freddie was doing the intros for them and it will sound strange to those that weren't there, but I didn't know what the songs were. I thought they was new unreleased songs. The reason was they was so loud, It kind of deafened you and then kind of sunk in what they were about to play. Then the rest of the gig flew by and I was singing my head off. Everyone was, but you could only hear Queen. Again my memory may be wrong, but I read afterwards that Queen had paid for residents to move out of their homes for the day. These houses were monitored and they said that the sound was like Concorde flying 10 feet over your head... Yep I will buy that. For all that and for all the bad things said about it, The Works tour, which I went to all the 4 origional England gigs they had planned, was the best tour they ever did. The set list was fantastic and the lighting rig was incredible. Not as loud, I also add. I also saw them in Manchester, 86. They had to be off stage by 10pm and noise levels had to be adhered to. I was too far awy to see them and the screens didn't come on because it was too light. Also I couldn't here them properly. I've watched the mMagic Tour gigs on DVD etc, but for me, that was the poorest tour they ever did. So that's it, hopefully some of you can confirm my bad memory, or say I'm wrong. Hopefully not bored you all. But it was the greatest musical experience I ever witnessed and I am proud I was there.” - Paul Wakefield

Part-1

(x)

[kerie-prince]

We're Worlds Apart (4)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj!reader

series m.list | general m.list | previous chp

warnings: a curse word if you squint, sassy Draco

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

a/n: a day late bc i got distracted watching game of thrones lmao i have adhd so i honestly should've known better than to have something so attention demanding in front of me :P

(gif cred)

Three more days.

Three more days until your brother and his girlfriend come to your Buffalo suburban home to spend Thanksgiving. You came home from work on a better day than the ones from the week before, only to walk inside and was almost convinced you entered the wrong house.

Your mother took the liberty of decorating your house while you were gone. The place looked like an IKEA catalogue. Green and cream colored throw pillows were on your black leather couch, your small dining table had a fall-themed centerpiece and a blood orange table cloth. New dining chairs, all of them matched, unlike the mismatched ones you had before. And that god-forsaken ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ wooden sign hung in your kitchen. That damn thing is leaving first thing in the morning.

“Ma, what the hell did you do to my house?” The more you looked, you groaned at what you saw. Your grandmother’s tapestry was no longer hanging at its original place, now hung hidden behind the tv. “Oh, don’t give me any grief about it. Y/B/N is coming and I don’t want the place looking like the Spirit store.”

You knew you couldn't really fight her on this. It would be more frustrating to have to argue and still not be able to put everything back to how it was until she left. Taking a deep breath, you walked yourself to your room to get changed into comfortable clothes and light some sage for your nerves.

Three more days.

—

One more week.

In a week's time, Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott were to come to New York to spend the month of December with Draco and to say he was excited was an understatement.

He was excited, nervous, and many other feelings that he was too stressed to name. The guest room was prepared for the two of them to share, all he had to do was figure out what to do with them while they were here. He had taken a week off and had no idea what to do. He still hadn’t gone around the city he lived in. He could always ask his friends at Saint Marie but for some reason, he was too shy to.

He could always ask Mrs. Charles for recommendations on what to do. She was a sweet muggle neighbor that he came to like as well as her husband. He could also ask you, but it’s been over a week since he spoke to you in your yards. From glimpses into your window, you seemed so exhausted. Not that he really cared, but he remembered that you would try to get along better and so far, all he’s done was give a nod towards your direction when he walked into his home as you were leaving yours.

His bedroom blinds were always closed now because he knew that if he were to see you doing your… whatever you do in your room just once, he’d change his mind about the whole thing. It still bothered him, but not as bad as it did when he first saw it.

Draco’s stomach growled as he sat on his couch, bringing him out of his thoughts and walked over to the kitchen. To his despair, his pantry, cabinets, and fridge were all empty. Guess I’ll have to grab something. He pondered on what he was in the mood for as he ran out the door. Draco figured he'd just figure it out as he drove around the streets downtown.

Since moving to America, he found so many new cuisines than he had ever imagined. He usually always ate at home, and if his family ever ate outside of home they usually went to the finest restaurants in France. Of course, they were all wizard-owned restaurants. But in New York, he’s been introduced to new things. For one, he had his first ever hamburger with Blaine. Ashley took him to a Chinese restaurant, and Ian bought Draco a traditional New York pizza.

Yes, all these things existed in London. Maybe not so much New York-style pizza, but there was pizza. Draco, however, never had the opportunity to try any of these foods. Lucius was extremely strict about eating out. It was never necessary considering he could afford the best quality foods to be made at home. When they did eat at restaurants in France, it was only because a higher official at the Ministry had invited them for a night out.

Around the streets, the bright lights of buildings and restaurants lit the streets as he drove around them. Draco turned into a street he hadn’t been into yet in hopes to find something else he could find to try. There were a couple places he hadn’t been into; a Greek restaurant, a Brazillian one, and a couple shops. There was one shop close to the end of the street. It was sandwiched between two boutiques and had a neon green and purple sign in the front. Soul Beads. In front of the building was a man with a weird sign in one hand and an even weirder thing that seemed to have made his voice louder in the other. Draco couldn’t make of the rubbish he was yelling into the thing from inside his car.

Draco pulled to the curb to walk around the street and check out the restaurants. A bell jingle caught his attention, turning around to see one person he didn’t really expect to see here. “Draco?” your face showed the same expression as his. He watched as you closed the door to Soul Beads and walked up to him. The weird man that stood in front of the store yelled out, “DON’T TALK TO HER, THIS BITCH HERE WORKS FOR THE DEVIL!”

“Do you know him?” Draco asks with a quirked eyebrow. The stranger kept yelling profanities at you but Draco saw how you couldn’t be bothered by it. “He does this every couple weeks. What brings you out here?” Your hands were stuffed tightly in your pockets for warmth.

“Do you own the street? Can I not be here?” he asked sarcastically. You faced him with a deadpan look as to ask him again without having to say the words to him. Or call him a smartass. Which he is. With a roll of his eyes, he continued, “I’m looking for something to eat but I’ve never been to these places before.”

“Ah,” you started, “Well I don’t know what kind of stuff you’re used to, but I suggest the Greek restaurant right across. Over-priced, but the best gyros you’ll ever have in Buffalo.”

“It’s yee-roh, not jahy-row.” Draco corrected. He couldn’t tell if you were irritated or confused after he said that. Probably both.

“You know Greek?” you asked.

“I studied it when I was a child. My tutor showed me the word once and hit my hand when I had mispronounced it. Learned the hard way to never do that again,” flashbacks to the older woman teaching him the language cursed his mind for a few seconds.

His stomach growled even louder now in the silence between them. Draco blushed in embarrassment, shifting around to look away so you wouldn’t see. You slightly chuckled and tapped his shoulder. “Come on, neighbor’s treat.” And you walked onto the busy street.

This bloody woman is crazy to be crossing a busy street he thought as he rushed to follow you across the street. He got scared as a car got too close and ran to the safety of the sidewalk. “You’re gonna get yourself bloody killed one of these days like that,” he scolded. “If you’re gonna live in New York, you’re gonna have to deal with annoying pedestrians and sometimes be an annoying pedestrian. Be glad you don’t live in Manhattan, they’re worse. A person could be hit by a car and he’d just get on up and keep walking.” you informed.

Draco would be lying to himself if he said that didn’t spook him a little. Sure, he’s seen a few students get hexed, some by him, but they’d never just dealt with it and continued walking in the halls. They’d either have to hope their friends knew the counter curse or they’d end up in the hospital wing and had Madam Pomfrey help them back to normal. These muggles really are just… strange.

The restaurant looked old and desperately needed a remodel but by Merlin, it smelled amazing. “Now, are you getting a yee-roh sandwich or are you getting something else?” you mocked his previous correction with a playful roll of your eyes. Draco looked at the menu but it didn’t matter as he didn’t know the first thing about Greek food. What the hell did my father force me to take lessons for? “Do you want me to just order for you?” you asked as he kept browsing for too long. There were only 12 things on the menu but it still confused him.

He held back a snarl as he agreed to your help. He stood aside as you ordered and waited until it sounded like you were done, then headed up to the window to pay. “Oh, you don’t have to. I insisted I would pay,” you tried to push his hand away and reach for your credit card but he proceeded to hand the money to the cashier. “It’s nothing.”

“Here or to-go?” the lady asked with a thick New York accent. The two of you just looked at each other waiting for someone to say something. “Do you want to just-”

“Eat it here?” He looked at the small space and saw only one unoccupied table by the window. One of two tables. No longer growling, his stomach was shaking nearly violently, indicating that he can’t wait any longer. It was a strange feeling to be starving. Never had he ever had to wait for food at Malfoy Manor nor at Hogwarts. Whether it was house elves or first years, someone always ran to get him food with a snap of his fingers. “Yeah, here’s fine.”

The lady handed your plates to you as he went to claim the small table before someone else did. He looked around the space with a slight disgusted look. It’s not that it was run by muggles, but just because the place looks so old and kind of dirty. Even the house elves at the Manor lived in better conditions. The corner he sat in made him feel slightly claustrophobic. How do they sit and enjoy anything like this?

You sat the food on the table and shook your jacket off on to the chair. Draco watched as you placed the plates as neatly in front of you both. He couldn’t help but notice the rings that covered most of your fingers. Some were simple silver bands, some bronze bands, and some looked like wire that had a wrapped, colorful rock in the center. They were mismatched but coordinated at the same time. If that made any actual sense.

You started some simple small-talk, “So, what brings you all the way out here?”

“I got a better job opportunity,” Draco responded. His voice sounded uninterested, and his eyes stared at the plate. It had three pieces of meat on a bed of white rice, a small salad and a little dipping bowl of some white sauce. He dipped the meat into the sauce and as he tasted it, he nearly groaned in content. The flavors danced around his mouth and he had to hold himself back from devouring the whole plate in a matter of seconds.

He could feel you staring at him but chose not to look up to see judgement in your eyes. Whether it was with amusement or not. The food was so good and he would most definitely order another one to-go on his way out for his lunch break tomorrow. I’m definitely bringing Blaise and Theo here.

“What kind of job do you do?” Draco stopped chewing his food and swallowed nervously. He should’ve expected this kind of question sooner or later, but here he was sitting in silence trying to figure out what to say. He couldn’t just tell you that he’s a Healer because then that would lead to more questions and that’d be more answers he couldn’t give you. “What, you don’t wanna tell me?” you furrowed your eyebrows at him as he continued his silence.

Finally, the word popped in his mind, “I’m a doctor.” Hopefully that ends that conversation.

“That’s cool, what kind of doctor are you?” Shit. There’s more than one kind?

“Uh, I work with people who come into the hospital with major injuries like a broken arm and such,” Draco stuttered.

“So, an emergency room doctor. You work in the ER then,” you concluded with a hand over your mouth as you chewed. “Y-yeah, that.” Draco tried not to sound suspicious. “What about you?”

You cleared your throat, drank some of your soda and pointed out the window, “You see that store over there? Soul Beads? That’s my store.” It was weird how coincidental it was that of all streets to drive into and of all people to run into, he ran into you coming out of your personally owned store. Looking back at you, he saw your face relax and smile at the building. “What do you sell? I’m assuming it’s not food seeing as you didn’t invite me in.”

Now it was time for you to stutter, “Oh, just candles and stuff. Nothing too flashy.” You poked at your food and took small bites of it. There was an awkward silence between you two for about ten minutes before you started the conversation before, “Assuming you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, will you just be working that day?” Draco didn’t know much about the holiday, only that he was getting paid more that day.

“Yeah, I’ll be at the hospital for the night. Probably until four in the morning.”

“Well that sucks. You’ll miss out on the greatest American tradition that is Black Friday,” you chuckled.

“What’s that?” Yet another thing Draco didn’t understand.

“Black Friday is when people fight to the death for a discount on things like appliances and tvs. It’s quite amusing to watch,” you slightly exaggerated. Keyword slightly. Draco had wide eyes as he heard the description. “I’m sorry, to the death?”

With that, you laughed so hard you placed one hand flat against your chest and the other held the table with a tight grip as if you were to fall from your seat. He then realized you actually didn’t mean to the literal death and mentally scolded himself for being so gullible. You continued laughing and he rolled his eyes before chuckling to himself. You leaned back up and wiped some tears underneath your eyes, “Oh my god, I needed that laugh.”

A shiver went up Draco’s spine once he caught a glimpse of your smile. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you smile at all. Before your little argument, you would smile towards him and all the other neighbors all the time. But this never happened before. He looked away from your eyes and tried to find anything else to look at. Tilting his head up, he saw an air conditioning unit. Oh, that’s why.

Small talk ended there with a clear of his throat and proposed to go home. Draco saw how you looked a little disappointed and forced a small, kind smile on your face, “Yeah, it’s getting kinda late and I don’t want to keep my mother waiting. God knows what she’s done to my house while I was gone.” He wasn’t going to keep pressing on the matter as he figured they still weren’t close enough for that. One dinner didn’t make them friends in his book. It wasn’t terrible, though. Maybe he would do it again.

Walking to their own cars, she said “See you around, neighbor,” and got into her car and drove off. He just nodded his head as he always did and drove off as well. They arrived home at the same time and walked inside without looking at each other, thinking that it would just be weird to keep saying goodbye.

—

It was finally Thanksgiving, and Y/B/N and Stephanie were going to be over around three in the afternoon. Your mother was more of a pain than usual, waking you up at six in the morning to do last minute cleaning, grocery shopping, and starting on roasting the ham. The loud argument over ham or turkey in the grocery store the week before lasted for an embarrassing two hours after your mother caved and let you pick the main entree for dinner.

Once you got an hour to yourself, you went to your closet in the hall and grabbed a small glass jar then walked to your backyard for some lavender. You walked to the kitchen for a stick of cinnamon, placed the items on the kitchen counter and walked quickly to your room for something small. Your eyes found a loose ribbon on the floor and grabbed it then went back to the kitchen.

You put all the items into the jar and browsed the kitchen for one more thing. There was a bouquet of flowers on the dining table that your mother bought. Perfect. You grabbed a couple flowers and took the petals to mix in the jar. Once you were done, you chanted to yourself three times:

“Goddess, please take the negativity out of this kitchen.

Replace it with positivity and love. So mote it be.”

You heard your mother waking up from her nap from the guest room and ran into the kitchen to hide the jar somewhere she couldn’t see it. The spell can’t exactly work if she sees something to nag about. She walks in the kitchen and sees you looking suspicious.

She looks at you with squinted eyes - mainly because she had just woken up - but said, “I’m not gonna ask what you’re up to. Can you make the potato salad? I like the way you make it better.” You silently agreed as you looked for the things in the fridge and grabbed a large bowl to mix it in. Your mother walks up to one of the cabinets to grab a pot to boil the potatoes with, only to find the thing you tried to hide. “What’s this, honey?”

You stammered over your words trying to find an explanation before she cut you off, “It’s pretty with all the things in there. You should keep it out.” She placed it beside a photo on the countertop and walked away to fill the pot with water. You were surprised she didn’t ask any further questions. You continued cooking and had a hopeful smile on your face. Maybe it won’t be so bad tonight.

The doorbell rang and you both looked at the clock on the wall. It read 1:55 and you looked at each other in confusion. “Y/B/N must be early,” your mother guessed and went to the door to let him in. The greeting was loud as she greeted him in. You could hear your little brother’s laugh with enthusiasm as he walked into your kitchen, “What’s up, big sis?”

You placed the utensils down and ran up to him with your arms up, “I’ve missed you too, baby brother.” He was much taller than you as he picked you up and hugged you tightly. You slightly swung your legs to give him the signal to let you go. He got his height from your dad, leaving you short thanks to your mother. Your brother had a big smile on his face and you reciprocated the smile. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen each other.

“Oh, lemme introduce you. Steph, c’mere!” He looked over his shoulder and called for the special guest. A beautiful woman with long, chocolate brown hair and doe blue eyes walked next to Y/B/N. “It’s so nice to meet you, I’m Stephanie.” She held her hand out causing you to quickly wipe your hands on your apron. “Hi, I’m Y/N.”

“Y/B/N has told me so much about you. I was so nervous to meet you,” Stephanie admitted with a slight blush on her cheeks. “I wonder what this dummy told you. I bet you I can tell you more embarrassing stories about him,” you jabbed his arm.

“That’s not fair, I didn’t say anything all that bad. You’ll hex me or some shit,” he had his hands up in defense.

“Y/B/N!” Your eyes widened and you laughed nervously, “Don’t listen to him, he’s an idiot.”

Stephanie looked back and forth at the two of you and finally settled on you, waving a hand, “Oh no, that’s okay. I practice, too.” Wait, what? It seemed your mother thought the same exact thing, only out loud. “Yeah, Stephanie also does the same thing you do. Crazy, right?”

Your mother stood shocked before them, not saying anything. Your brother had a smile that wasn’t exactly fitting the situation. Stephanie had a kind smile, and although you were visibly surprised that your little brother’s girlfriend was, of all things, also a Wiccan, you were laughing inside at your mother.

This is gonna be the most interesting Thanksgiving ever.

—

next chp

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[avengerscompound]

The Surrogate - Chapter 13

The Surrogate:  A Clintasha Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Word Count:  1687

Rating:  E

Warnings:  Pregnancy

Synopsis: A freak end of the world incident leads to meeting your two best friends, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.  While your friendship with the two Avengers is anything but conventional, they are your all-time favorite people.  When you find out that Clint and Natasha want to start a family but have exhausted all their options, you realize your powerset might allow you to give them what they want.  Having your best friends’ baby might seem like a good idea on paper, but when you are as close as you, Clint, and Natasha are, will doing something so intimate mean feelings get a little mixed up?

Chapter 13

There was such a feeling of excitement and hope for you, Natasha, and Clint when you went in to do your glucose test and have your 18-week ultrasound.  The pregnancy had now lasted longer than the one that Natasha had lost which was a big milestone.  That had led to Natasha relaxing almost completely about the baby.  She didn’t seem to get panicked about losing them at all, and she had started making plans for how she was going to actually raise them.

Discussions were had about schooling and who would stay home when they were young.  If they should hire a nanny.  If they should move away from the compound.  She made guesses about whether it was a boy or a girl.  She was genuinely excited and that excitement was no longer tinged with a fear of loss.

There was talking about turning the room that had been yours into the nursery and having it painted with a mural.  You still had your apartment with most of your things, but for all intents and purposes, you lived with Natasha and Clint, sleeping in their bed every night.  The three of you had been clicking even better than you had expected.  The close friendship you had built with the side of casual sex had blended seamlessly into an actual honest-to-god relationship.  All those little things that had made you such good friends in the first place; the easy humor, the playful teasing, the protectiveness, and trust - they all deepened and strengthened what you were creating together.  Mornings were spent dragging each other up and out the door in a joint desire to just curl back into bed.  Nights were spent exactly how they had always been spent - grabbing dinner and hanging out.  There would usually be other people around.  Steve and Bucky would come to play cards.  Tony would invite the three of you up for dinner and there would be loud debates about the stupidest things while Morgan came and brought her favorite uncles and aunts things to look at.  Kate would come and just sit on the couch eating pizza while snarking at or with Clint.  The main difference now was there was more cuddling with each other and incidental touching, and at the end of the day, you’d all go to bed together.

As you all fell into that easy intimacy, you began to think more and more long term.  It was a little scary how easy it was to think of the baby as your baby, but you’d already stopped worrying about things not working and were deep into loving the fact that they were.

So while you sat playing cards and waiting for the sugar drink to do what it needed to do so you could be tested for a disease you couldn’t possibly have due to your powers, the three of you made bets on if the baby was a boy or a girl and debated the pros and cons of having a mural of every famous archer from fiction painted on the wall, you felt like this was it.  This was your family.  These were your people.  You were doing this together.

The drawing of your blood was always a complicated affair but you were more than used to it now.  Your body fought things trying to break the skin, so needles had to be held firmly and moved around to stop your body from either forcing the needle out or closing up around it.

When you were finally done the three of you went to the ultrasound appointment practically buzzing with excitement to see the fetus and find out what you were having.

The gel was cold and it made you flinch when Cynthia squeezed it on your stomach.  Natasha and Clint sat side by side next to you.  Both of them holding your hand.  Natasha’s fingers were linked with yours and Clint had his hand wrapped around them both.  They were both looking between you and the screen, waiting for the baby to come into view.  “How’s everything been going?  No more morning sickness?”

“Nope, haven’t had it for a while,” you said as she began to press the paddle down on your stomach hard enough to make your bladder ache slightly.  “I feel really good actually.  Lots of energy.”

“That’s great.  And the baby is kicking a lot?”  She asked.

“Oh yeah, all the time,” you said.  “Always grooving around in there.”

“Well, given who their parents are, that makes sense,” Cynthia joked. The baby came into view.  Because of Natasha’s fear that you would miscarry you’d watched it turn from the weird little peanut shape to something that looked like a human baby.  As they appeared on the screen now it looked just like a baby.  You could see it waving its arms around and the toes on its feet.  “Heartbeat is strong too.  You’re doing good, mama.”

“They’re all good?”  Natasha asked, her eyes fixed on the screen.

“Yes.  Looking fine.  The doctor will have to go over the scans but it’s looking good to me,” Cynthia said, as she took measurements.

“We can find out if it’s a boy or a girl today, can’t we?”  Clint asked.

Cynthia grinned.  “I was hoping you would ask that.”

She moved the paddle around, really pushing down hard against your stomach as she moved to the side.  “Well,” she said as she angled the paddle so the image looked like the fetus was sitting on it.  “It looks like this little one is a girl.”

“Really?  How can you tell?”  Clint said, a smile crossing his face.

“See here?”  Cynthia said pointing between the legs on the ultrasound image.  “Looks like a hamburger.”

Clint narrowed his eyes as his look and his brow furrowed.  Slowly his eyes started widening and he burst out laughing.  “Right!  Gotcha!”

Natasha leaned over and kissed your forehead.  “A little girl,” she whispered.

“Mm-hmm…” you hummed.  “You’ve got a daughter, mama.”

“A daughter…” Natasha repeated, so softly it was barely audible.

The three of you finished up with the tech and then saw Kelly your Obstetrician.  The pregnancy seemed to be going perfectly.  Perhaps it would have anyway, but you liked to think it was your powers doing what they needed to do.

“A girl,” Natasha said as the three of you left the office.

You took her hand and entwined your fingers with hers.  “We should have a baby shower.”

“We should,” Natasha agreed.  “Maybe Wanda or Kate might like to help organize it.”

“We need to think of girl’s names,” Clint said.  “Kate said if it was a girl we had to name it after her.”

Natasha laughed.  “And what did you say to that?”

“I thought it would be a boy,” Clint said.  “So I said I would.”

“Clint,” Natasha sighed.  “You are such a dumbass.”

“Yeah, but you love me,” Clint teased, throwing his arm around Natasha’s shoulders.

“God knows why, but I do,” she conceded.

“So I’m guessing Kate is on the list then?”  You asked, trying not to laugh.

“I guess so,” Natasha said, shaking her head.  “We should write a list.  I haven’t thought about names before.  Not since… Rose.”

“That was her name?” You asked.

She nodded and pursed her lips, trying not to show emotion again.  “Well, you can think of some now,” you said, gently squeezing her hand.

“We should write a list of all the things we still need to do.  We haven’t prepared at all,” Natasha said.

“Well, I say having the baby shower first.  Then we can see what we still need,” you said.

“That is a very good and intelligent point,” Natasha said.  “But on the other hand, tiny shoe shopping.”

You started laughing.  “I’m fairly certain we could get by with extra tiny shoes.”

“See,  you are smart,” she said and bumped you with her hip.  “And far be it for me to be all sappy and sentimental -” she leaned in close and nosed at your cheek.  “But I love that we’re doing it together now.  All of it.”

“That’s what she said,” Clint teased.

Natasha shook her head and elbowed him, trying very hard not to start laughing.  “Can you not ruin my moment?”

“I made it better,” Clint teased.  “But I do agree.  Feels good, right?”

You hummed and wrapped your arm around Natasha’s waist and slipped your hand into Clint’s back pocket.  “It does feel good.  A little scary though.  I was all ready to be an aunt.  Now I’m picking names and stuff.  But that’s what happens sometimes, right?”

“Hey, I was ready and I still find it scary,” Clint admitted.  “I’m going to be a dad? Me?  I drank coffee straight from the pot today and I’m going to be responsible for keeping an infant alive.”

“Well,” you said as you reached the apartment.  “There are three of us.  So it’s not just you.”

“Good thing too,” Clint joked, opening the door and letting you all in.  “I can’t be trusted with things like that.  I can barely keep myself alive.”

You went and sat down on the recliner, popping the bottom up so you could have your feet up.  Clint looked from you to Natasha and raised his eyebrows.  She nodded and Clint moved to your chair, kneeling beside it and looking up at you.  “In fact,” he said.  “I think it would be good if you properly moved in, don’t you?  I mean, bring all your stuff in.”

You looked at him and then over to Natasha, a little shocked.  It had only been a few weeks since you had agreed to try the relationship thing and this felt like a big jump.  Then again, you had been living in their apartment for months and friends for years now.  Not to mention if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t like it was impossible to get your apartment back.  You lived at the compound, there were always apartments available.

You took a deep breath and let it out, a smile slowly spreading on your face.  “Yeah, why not?  Let’s do it.”

// NEXT

[frankiefellinlove]

THE STEVIE FILES PROUDLY PRESENTS - THE AMAZING ROCK & ROLL ODYSSEY OF STEVEN VAN ZANDT

From The Source to Soulfire via Springsteen and Sam & Dave

Recorded, transcribed, edited, written, produced, mixed and mastered by MIKE SAUNDERS

SIDE TWO (1975-1983)

Track 6: Miami Steve, The Asbury Jukes, Tenth Avenue and Hammersmith

In early 1975, Steven returned to New Jersey from Florida, inappropriately dressed for the winter weather. “I came back with the flowered shirts and the Sam Snead hat and continued wearing them in the snow.” For the next seven years, he was known as Miami Steve. He joined Southside in the Blackberry Booze Band and within weeks they’d altered and expanded its line-up (adding keyboard player Kevin Kavanaugh from Middletown and bass player Alan Berger from The Dovells’ backing band), transformed its musical direction, changed its name to Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes (referencing their mutual hero Little Walter’s band and first single release) and established a successful three-nights-a-week, five-sets-a-night residency at the Stone Pony in Asbury Park.

“Just before that, me, Southside, Bruce and Garry went to see Sam & Dave. A life-changing moment. So me and Southside basically decided we were gonna be the white Sam & Dave, with rock guitar. So the horns came in and although we didn’t know it, we would change the entire concept of what a bar band sounded like and the respect a bar band would get by making it creative, soul meets rock. ‘Bar band’ was an insult. ‘You’re a bar band,’ which means you can’t make it in the real music world. After the Jukes, they started using ‘bar band’ in reviews and they meant it as a compliment, with Graham Parker and Elvis Costello and Mink DeVille. We changed the way people thought about these things.”

The Miami Horns were a vital component of the new band. Steven composed the horn arrangements, but although he’s always possessed a natural ability to imagine horn parts, he doesn’t read or write music (“never have”) and has always required a little help from his friends to transcribe them. “I have people write ‘em down, to this day. I like that actually. You have to do a lotta things yourself so any excuse I find to collaborate I do it. I find other people will bring something to the party usually. That’s why [I’ve] used Eddie Manion for I don’t know how many years. He knows how I like to voice things. Once I think of something and create the parts, I get bored if I have to voice every part, exactly right. If I hear a voicing I don’t like, I will change it, but I get bored by the mechanics of everything.”

While the Jukes were building their reputation and growing their audience, Bruce invited Steven to hang out at the Born To Run sessions in New York, where he was working on “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out.” David Sanborn and The Brecker Brothers had been hired to play the horn parts, but Steven created a spontaneous new arrangement. He’s told this anecdote countless times, but I ask him to repeat it because it provides perfect examples of his innate musical talents in action (“I can hear the parts, who knows why?”), the nature of his friendship with Bruce (“I still am the only human being not afraid of him”), and his no-bullshit attitude (“I didn’t know anything about diplomacy”).

“So he says, ‘Whaddya think?’ I said, ‘It sucks, that’s what I think!’ I didn’t know how uptight everybody was. I didn’t give a fuck either. The managers and producers were all afraid of him already. He asked me a question, I’m gonna be honest. I’m trying to help my friend here, not make points with some fucking record company guy. Moment of silence. ‘He just said it sucks, which means we all suck.’ Bruce [says] ‘Alright then, go in and fucking fix it.’ So I did. I went in and sang the [new] parts. I didn’t know they were the most famous [session] guys in New York. It wasn’t insulting them, the chart was ridiculous. That was my thing, just from the Jukes being around maybe six months.”

“I wasn’t really feeling the pressure that Bruce was at the time. I didn’t realise his life depended on this album. His first two records hadn’t done very well. They wanted to drop him. I don’t know how aware I was of any of that. He invited me into the session and I’m laying on the floor. All I can think is, we’ve been hoping to get into recording our whole lives, I’m listening to this and it sounds fucking terrible. Not just the horn charts, everything. It was the worst period of recording in history. Virtually every record from the 50s and 60s sounded great, virtually every record from the early 70s sounded terrible. Because engineers took over, started close miking, padding the walls. Separation, separation, separation, all the things that make rock ‘n’ roll suck. The idea was, you isolate everything and make it sound exciting in the mix. Which they managed to do, miraculously, with the Born To Run album. Because it was pieced together in a bizarre way. Bruce made that record 100% out of willpower, he willed that into existence!”

Soon after making his instinctive artistic contribution (and singing backing vocals on “Thunder Road”), Steven was invited to join the E Street Band. It was a chance to complete the circle, play with his old friend again and settle any unfinished business from three summers earlier, when he’d been sent packing at the Greetings sessions. He made his live debut on the opening night of the Born To Run tour, which ran until New Year’s Eve. His input and influence over the next decade, onstage and off, would prove invaluable. (Bruce even began playing The Dovells’ “You Can’t Sit Down” as an occasional encore). In the fall, the tour took everyone to Europe for the first time, where the culture shock was off the charts. “There was no hamburgers, no peanut butter. The only place you could get a hamburger in the whole of Europe was the newly-opened first Hard Rock Café. There was a line around the block even then.”

Culinary deficiencies aside, Bruce also had to endure the overblown hype surrounding his first UK gigs at London’s Hammersmith Odeon, where Columbia had displayed the legend “Finally London Is Ready For Bruce Springsteen” on every available surface prior to his arrival. “[It was] completely obnoxious,” says Steven. “[Bruce] spent half the time ripping down posters. It was an embarrassing time for him, between that and Time and Newsweek. He didn’t like that stuff. You wanna be in charge of your life, that’s why we get into rock ‘n’ roll. Suddenly it was slipping out of his control. We made the mistake of playing a place with seats. It just made the show that much harder. But by the end, we got ‘em outta the seats. We went to Amsterdam, Stockholm, and back to London. The second one was a bit easier.” The experience had a prolonged effect on Bruce. “He was uptight in those days and would remain so through Darkness into The River, until he asked me to produce the record and we found a way to have some fun.”

Track 7: Epic Records, Steve Popovich and The Stone Pony

Back on the shore, Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes continued the Stone Pony residency throughout 1975, gradually consolidating their line-up. For the next three years, between Springsteen commitments, Steven worked as their producer, arranger, manager, part-time guitarist and principal songwriter. In early 1976, after circulating a demo tape, they signed a recording deal with Epic, with assistance from Steve Popovich, the label’s Vice-President of A&R. “I Don’t Want To Go Home,” the song that Steven had kept in his back pocket since his days on the oldies circuit, became the title track of their debut album and their first single. Ben E King’s loss was Southside’s gain.

“I produced [the song] in a way which was appropriate for the Jukes. They didn’t have a big background vocal thing going on,” explains Steven. “I was very conscious of being able to try and do most of it live, although I put strings on it, on my very first production! There was no synthesiser in those days that could play strings. That’s why I re-cut it [on Soulfire] the original way I pictured it, with the singer and background vocals answering. That idea of writing for someone else is extremely important, critical and essential. It changes the way you write completely, from when you think of writing for yourself, which is extraordinarily complicated and confusing. It’s not easy, but easier, to write for someone else. There’s their identity in your mind at least. I’m writing them a song. That’s a wonderful exercise for songwriters.” I Don’t Want To Go Home was released in the summer of 1976 (“I’ve never received one penny of royalties, but whatever!”). The Jukes later began their first national tour and made their European debut in 1977.

Recommended by Bruce, Steve Popovich was one of a kind. “The last of the real music guys in the business. The only other person I can compare him to would be Lance Freed on the publishing side, who’s unique. He’s actually into music and songwriting and the things you’re supposed to be into when you have a job description like that. And Frank Barsalona, the only agent who really did his job and would set the standard for everybody to follow. Those three guys, really quite historic. [It was] Popovich’s idea to launch the record with a broadcast from the Stone Pony. Never been done before. Popovich loved the local scene idea and he largely made it happen. It never would have been recognised nationally, I don’t think, if it hadn’t been for Popovich, who had the vision to say it’s cool if you’re not from New York. Rather than being embarrassed if you’re not from New York, LA or Nashville, it’s actually cool.”

Track 8: Production Credits and Political Awakening

Steven developed his talents as a producer and songwriter with the Jukes in the late 70s, following I Don’t Want To Go Home with This Time It’s For Real and Hearts Of Stone. Successive releases featured greater quantities of his original material, which included “I Played The Fool,” “This Time Baby’s Gone For Good,” “Take It Inside” and “Some Things Just Don’t Change,” apparently written for another of his heroes, David Ruffin of The Temptations. During this period, he also produced the “Say Goodbye To Hollywood” single for Ronnie Spector and the E Street Band and provided production assistance on Darkness On The Edge Of Town. His relationship with the Jukes ended when they left Epic for Mercury in 1979 and he went on to co-produce The River and two comeback albums for Gary US Bonds, Dedication and On The Line. It was an impressive fast-track apprenticeship. Steven had no production experience when he began. He acquired the skills and learned from his mistakes in the studio. “That’s why all three Jukes albums are different,” he says. “By the time we did The River, I knew what I wanted to do. I got it all down by then. That’s how I tend to do things. I can picture what I want. Jump in, do it, let’s see what happens.”

Steven also kept his promise to himself to bring his musical heroes out of obscurity, initially as guests on the first two Jukes albums. “I did what I could, but I wanted to do so much more,” he admits. “First time I get in a studio, got Lee Dorsey out from under a car, where he’s a mechanic. Got Ronnie Spector out of retirement. Second album, we reunited The Coasters, Drifters and Five Satins. Me and Bruce worked with Gary Bonds. We got Ben E King and Chuck Jackson on that record. Those artists had a talent level noticeably above everybody that followed. I wish I’d been insistent on doing more of them. In those [early] days, you actually had to have talent to make records. You had to be able to sing a song, beginning to end, perfectly in tune, perfectly the right melody, and if you fuck up one word, you gotta do the whole thing again. Couldn’t do enough for those people, they were so much fun to produce.”

In addition to his studio accomplishments, Steven played more than 300 shows with Bruce and the E Street Band between 1976 and 1981, primarily on the Darkness On The Edge Of Town and River tours. The majority took place in North America, but the River tour included a European leg that took the band away from home and out of their comfort zone for nine weeks. Much longer than their previous visit in 1975, it was their first significant experience of foreign countries, languages, cultures and political perspectives. They received rave reviews wherever they played, but Steven gradually became aware that not all Europeans viewed the United States in a favourable light.

One particular encounter was pivotal in dramatically reshaping Steven’s worldview. “A kid asked me, ‘Why are you putting missiles in my country?’ I said, ‘I’m not, I’m a guitar player.’ I realised, for the first time in my life, at the age of 30 I’m embarrassed to say, that I’m an American. What the fuck does that mean? I managed to grow up in the middle of civil rights, the Vietnam War, demonstrations about every fucking thing and had no interest in any of it. Amazing when you think about it. Redefining tunnel vision. Suddenly, the tunnel is gone. We’re now successful. Who would have ever figured that would happen, right? Now it’s like, uh-oh, what did I miss, the last 20 years?”

Track 9: Men Without Women, Motown and Mixing In Mono

This revelation accelerated Steven’s growing political awareness, one of two important developments in 1981 that would change the course of his life forever. The second came when he returned from Europe and was approached by EMI America about making a solo album. Having spent six years producing and writing for others, he welcomed the opportunity to have his own creative outlet, which soon expanded into a separate career. In the fall, he enlisted musicians from the E Street Band and the Asbury Jukes to record most of the material for his debut album, Men Without Women, using his established rock-meets-soul sonic blueprint. Including “Lyin’ In A Bed Of Fire,” “Princess Of Little Italy,” “Angel Eyes” and “Until The Good Is Gone,” it remains an undisputed career highlight for Van Zandt devotees, but Steven feels that an outside producer might have helped him make a more commercial record.

“Conventional wisdom is you never should produce yourself and I have to say that’s correct. The only exception I can think of in the history of the business was Prince, who was an extraordinary genius, but other than him, I don’t know anybody who successfully produces themselves.” Describing himself as “extremely schizophrenic, I’m twelve different people, never mind two,” Steven explains how his inner producer failed to control the whims of his inner artist. “Without knowing it, the artist takes over. I was into this extreme naturalism, no logical reason why. I did the whole album live in one day. Came back the second day, did it again, beginning to end. Couple overdubs, that was it. There’s one guitar. The horns aren’t doubled. Nothing’s doubled. Bruce did all the harmony on that record but we couldn’t use his name. We [did] a similar thing with Born In The USA, where we just recorded live in the studio.”

“I made Bob Clearmountain mix ‘Forever’ in mono, to try and achieve the perfect Motown record. It’s never gonna be exact and it shouldn’t be exact, why should it be, but I wanted to capture a Smokey Robinson Motown record. The only way I could do that in my mind was to make it completely mono. He was so good in those days. I mean Bob’s still the best, but in those days he was beyond the best. He was something else when it came down to that Neve board that wasn’t automated, and he’s feelin’ those faders. I made him do something he’d never done before, which requires a whole different way of thinking. You’re now thinking depth-wise and vertically, not horizontally.”

“That’s where my head was at. Can I achieve the emotional communication that my heroes had provided me? My heroes being Motown in general, 10 acts there. Or my heroes at Chess, another 10 acts. Sam Phillips did ‘Rocket 88’ for Ike Turner (Jackie Brenston) and ‘How Many More Years’ for Howlin’ Wolf, three years before Elvis Presley. Unbelievable genius. [I’m] trying to achieve that level of quality in my own world, in my own little bubble, which has these ridiculously high standards. I’m absorbing the 50s and 60s and then trying to integrate them in my head and reproduce them in my own way, not the least bit interested in what’s going on in the 70s or 80s certainly, because it was shit to me, comparatively. An interesting moment here and there. Punk was certainly interesting. But mostly it’s all coming from what I call the renaissance period, ‘51 to ‘71, where it all was created. And that’s true to this day. That’s all I was interested in and that was enough for 10 lifetimes. I didn’t need another bit of input after 1972.”

Track 10: Little Steven, Little Richard and Bob Dylan

In 1982, after recording with Bruce and Gary US Bonds, Steven completed his album, formed the Disciples of Soul (which included Dino Danelli from The Rascals on drums, Jean Beauvoir on bass and Eddie Manion, Mark Pender, Stan Harrison and La Bamba on horns) and played a debut concert at New York’s Peppermint Lounge. Released in October, a month after Nebraska, Men Without Women preceded his first national tour and was credited to his new professional name of Little Steven, which would be used for all future solo activities. “I just wanted separation [from] being the sideman,” he explains. “Each of my personalities required a different name, in order to keep it straight in people’s heads and my own head.” The name referenced his early heroes Little Walter, Little Anthony and Little Richard. In his role as an ordained minister, the latter officiated at Steven’s wedding to Maureen Santoro in New York on New Year’s Eve. Percy Sledge sang “When A Man Loves A Woman” as they walked down the aisle and the reception included performances from Gary US Bonds, Little Milton, The Chambers Brothers and the wedding band from The Godfather. “Little Anthony was doing a cruise at the time or he would have been there.”

“All I can think is, we’ve been hoping to get into recording our whole lives, I’m listening to this and it sounds fucking terrible. Not just the horn charts, everything. It was the worst period of recording in history. Virtually every record from the 50s and 60s sounded great, virtually every record from the early 70s sounded terrible. Because engineers took over, started close miking, padding the walls. Separation, separation, separation, all the things that make rock ‘n’ roll suck. The idea was, you isolate everything and make it sound exciting in the mix. Which they managed to do, miraculously, with the Born To Run album. Because it was pieced together in a bizarre way. Bruce made that record 100% out of willpower, he willed that into existence!”

Steven toured internationally in 1983, then dropped the horns, adopted a more contemporary rock sound and made his second album, Voice Of America. It was an explicitly political record that featured “Solidarity,” “I Am A Patriot,” “Out Of The Darkness,” “Los Desaparecidos” and “Undefeated.” Triggered by his River tour experiences in Europe, this radical transformation was completed with a long period of self-education. “I read every book about post World War Two [US] foreign policy. [It was] shocking how often we were on the wrong side. All of these bad things were happening behind the scenes and nobody was talking about them. No political consciousness whatsoever in the country. I decided I have an obligation to say something about this stuff that we’re all paying for with our taxes.”

“Being conscious of the fact that everybody needs their own identity, I figured who the hell needs another love song from a fucking sideman? I’ll be the political guy. Nobody else is doing it. There were people demonstrating of course. Jackson Browne, John Hall, Bonnie Raitt, Graham Nash, those guys. The Grateful Dead were doing a benefit every week, but rarely did it end up in the work. In general, people weren’t putting much politics into the lyrics of their songs.” For artists with commercial aspirations, he concedes, that’s a smart move. “Jefferson Airplane being an exception with ‘Volunteers.’ Big exception, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, with Neil Young’s ‘Ohio.’”

Steven contends that Bob Dylan’s “Subterranean Homesick Blues” introduced the idea of political consciousness in rock ‘n’ roll. “His first electric song. It’s not given enough credit. The first sentence from Bob Dylan’s electric period, ‘Johnny’s in the basement mixing up the medicine, I’m on the pavement thinking about the government.’ What? You’re doing what? You’re thinking about the government? Excuse me? Who does that? Whoever did that before, in a song, no less? There in that one sentence, Bob Dylan communicated what his entire career was gonna be about, which was having fun with language, with inference, symbolism, metaphor and nonsense lyrics that rhymed. ‘Johnny’s in the basement mixing up the medicine,’ what does that mean? It means whatever you want it to mean, right? Then ‘I’m on the pavement thinking about the government.’ Holy shit! You mean we’re supposed to figure out the government? That, to me, is the most important sentence in all the history of rock ‘n’ roll, right there.”

All photos below by Mike Saunders