#vir is and always will be so lame

[clickonmedotexe]

June 17th 2023 - Discovering Rex (Part 2)

Frederick: Well- it's high enough to be very possible!

EJ.EXE: *leans over and presses a few keys*

Frederick: *keeps watching tho*

EJ.EXE: *a picture of the person in question comes up, along with info*

EJ.EXE: * [ CHASE BENNET ] a middle aged man with brown hair, glasses and a rather kind face *

EJ.EXE: *he is wearing an Aperture labcoat in the photo and there's some info about him*

EJ.EXE: *British, 35, worked in Aperture for a decade, has several degrees in computer science*

EJ.EXE: ........

EJ.EXE: See, that is not me

EJ.EXE: I am not even British

EJ.EXE: *he is still alive*

EJ.EXE: *and if Freddy does some digging, he'd find that fortunately, he was fired before GLaDOS killed off everyone else*

Frederick: *??*

Frederick: *!*

Frederick: *eyes light up*

Frederick: Have you tried to contact him?

EJ.EXE: .........................

EJ.EXE: No

EJ.EXE: Why would I

Frederick: ..........

Frederick: *blank face*

Frederick: Why not?

EJ.EXE: ...........

EJ.EXE: I don't want to

Frederick: ..............

Frederick: *Are you for real now*

Frederick: ... You said you wanted to find out who created you

EJ.EXE: Yes, I want you to do some scans and tell me

EJ.EXE: I dont want to go around calling random people

EJ.EXE: Tsk

EJ.EXE: It's even more work

Frederick: But he is not random, he worked in there as well

Frederick: What if he got involved before they fired him?

Frederick: Hmm

Frederick: Besides, we don't know know reasons of that

EJ.EXE: What do you want to do, Frederick?

EJ.EXE: Call him and ask if he developed a sentient virus for his work?

EJ.EXE: Explain you are a total stranger but you want to know why he got fired?

EJ.EXE: HA

EJ.EXE: Stupid

Frederick: *spawns in a glowy screen*

Frederick: *aaand messages to CB about the whole Vir case*

EJ.EXE: ................

EJ.EXE: Are you serious

EJ.EXE: ......

Frederick: You gotta try all options, you know

Frederick: Otherwise you won't manage the task

Frederick: .....

EJ.EXE: *CB messages back a few minutes later, asking who Freddy is and why he wants to know about some virus*

Frederick: *def sends details & proof links on some Vir's activities*

EJ.EXE: *CB sends back a link to 'Top 10 Best Free Antiviruses!'*

Frederick: .........

EJ.EXE: *he doesnt really understand why Freds is asking him this*

Frederick: ....................

EJ.EXE: *although it is definitely HIS signature in the virus' code*

Frederick: *sends a report with data telling antiviruses don't work, so they are looking for possible creators of Vir who were his ex co-workers*

Frederick: *sends a line of codes with the signature as well*

Frederick: *Well gotta see if he is lying or someone just picked his name for some reason*

EJ.EXE: *for a long moment, there is no answer*

Frederick: *glances at Vir as he waits*

Frederick: You know, if I actually figure this case out for you

Frederick: You are going to pay me a favor back

EJ.EXE: .......

EJ.EXE: Like what?

Frederick: Like stopping possessing other people and hurting them.

Frederick: *Nl: :3*

Frederick: *..........*

EJ.EXE: *then he sends back another message, explaining that the only reason programs would have his signature on them is because the equipment he used back as an employee would automatically add them onto all of his creations. mostly so aperture could figure out which programmer to blame in case something goes wrong*

Frederick: *What, it doesn't seem like EJ minded much*

EJ.EXE: .....

EJ.EXE: That's too big of a favor

EJ.EXE: You are just asking me to change my lifestyle~

Frederick: .... You know that if it's otherwise then I'll have to catch all of your parts

Frederick: And believe me, I will manage it

EJ.EXE: I can promise not to hurt your Stanley-

Frederick: *smiles*

EJ.EXE: *scoffs*

EJ.EXE: Oh, you wish

Frederick: I am asking you to think on your errors

Frederick: ....

Frederick: Unless you want to be destroyed after all

EJ.EXE: ......

EJ.EXE: *smiles sweetly* I'll think about it

Frederick: You know, I can't keep arguing with Stanley Jackson and some others forever

EJ.EXE: *tho it looks more like a toothy grin than a sweet smile*

Frederick: I only have some little time on this

Frederick: .......

Frederick: *is not impressed*

Frederick: You gotta try it.

EJ.EXE: I can take care of Jackson

EJ.EXE: For good

Frederick: ......... See this is exactly why people wanna destroy you

Frederick: But I only wanna do a research!

EJ.EXE: *scoffs*

EJ.EXE: Then keep doing your research

EJ.EXE: That programmer just replied, stop bothering me about morality topics

Frederick: .....

Frederick: *glances back at his screen*

Frederick: .................

Frederick: [ Does that mean the virus is one of your creations? ]

Frederick: .......

Frederick: [ Did you create AIs, didn't you? ]

Frederick: [ Apparently one of them ended up being corrupted. ]

EJ.EXE: [CB: I promise you, I don't know of any virus. I had access to various areas, but at the end of my work, we were moving on to more experimental tests ]

EJ.EXE: [CB: I am deleting this conversation after we speak, by the way. I doubt they will sue me after so long but I don't want to take the chances ]

Frederick: ........

EJ.EXE: [CB: If...any of them are still alive ]

Frederick: [ Do you remember names of those who worked with you? Could I have them, please? I have ways of checking. ]

EJ.EXE: *he does give him the few names he remembered*

Frederick: *CB is v nice*

EJ.EXE: *is watching this all, his brows furrowed*

Frederick: *idk i would put freds in blacklist for bothering about old job stuff xd*

Frederick: *...........*

EJ.EXE: *awww*

Frederick: *Hmph*

EJ.EXE: *well he sent proof about vir though*

Frederick: *Blacklists are easy to hack*

EJ.EXE: *otherwise he'd think freds was a reporter or a blogger looking for gossip*

Frederick: *!*

Frederick: *saves names in his files*

Frederick: *thanks him*

Frederick: *does some scanning and digging on names (again)*

EJ.EXE: *however*

EJ.EXE: *they're all dead*

Frederick: *is def curious*

Frederick: *Aw*

EJ.EXE: *thanks to GLaDOS*

Frederick: Aw

Frederick: *sigh*

EJ.EXE: *while he was scanning, another message popped up from CB* 

Frederick: *murmurs* GLaDOS never changes... 

EJ.EXE: She knew how to make use of her power 

EJ.EXE: I admire her~ 

Frederick: *?* 

Frederick: *glances at the message* 

EJ.EXE: [CB: There is...one incident that might be useful for you] 

Frederick: What, have you witnessed her? 

EJ.EXE: [CB: But] 

EJ.EXE: *then a looong pause* 

Frederick: Now I wonder if you have seen a Chell... 

Frederick: ...... 

EJ.EXE: [CB: I don't know] 

EJ.EXE: No 

EJ.EXE: I have read about her online 

Frederick: [ I appreciate anything that might be helpful! ] 

Frederick: .....

EJ.EXE: [CB: I hope it's not relevant. I should've been more careful and I wasn't ] 

Frederick: Well, what they tell on the Internet is usually quite far away from how things were in reality 

EJ.EXE: [CB: It was why they fired me and why I am still alive, I guess. Otherwise I would've been gassed as well ]

EJ.EXE: *sarcastically* You don't say

Frederick: Unless it's a trusty source with evidences 

Frederick: ...... 

Frederick: *?* 

Frederick: [ They fired you because you weren't careful enough? ] 

Frederick: *Hmmm* 

Frederick: *Gee* 

EJ.EXE: [CB: Someone broke into my equipment and...attempted to upload themself ] 

Frederick: *I hope AI(s) getting corrupted is not because a few mistakes done in codes* 

EJ.EXE: [CB: Actually, I know who it was ] 

Frederick: *!* 

EJ.EXE: [CB: He was my friend and I should've known better than to trust him ] 

Frederick: [ Oh- this could explain the whole case ] 

EJ.EXE: [CB: But I did, I thought he wouldn't possibly do something so stupid, and yet it ended with his death and my firing] 

Frederick: ......................... 

EJ.EXE: [CB: God, I hope you are wrong. Because that's]

EJ.EXE: [CB: Awful] 

Frederick: *Wait* 

Frederick: [ I am sorry ] 

Frederick: .... 

Frederick: [ Could you please tell his name? ] 

EJ.EXE: ............... 

EJ.EXE: [CB: Sure ] 

EJ.EXE: [CB: Rex Townsend ] 

EJ.EXE: ............................... 

Frederick: *niiice* 

Frederick: ............ 

Frederick: Rex Townsend, hmm

Frederick: Does it ring a bell to you? 

EJ.EXE: *it took me ages to come up with a good name lmao* 

Frederick: *Nl: Sent by Town of the Stupid ;3* 

Frederick: *............................................* 

EJ.EXE: *...........* 

EJ.EXE: *griiiiiips the chair a bit too tightly* 

Frederick: *Nl: Smart people don't try copypasting their minds into computers~~ ;3* 

EJ.EXE: *EJ's eyes are glowing* 

Frederick: ....... 

Frederick: Oh I see it now 

EJ.EXE: *you have a point neil* 

Frederick: You are a copy, then. 

Frederick: Hmm 

Frederick: Of course

EJ.EXE: *hisses* No I'm not 

Frederick: An AI would not show signs of denial 

EJ.EXE: Shut up 

EJ.EXE: Shut up, Frederick 

EJ.EXE: ............. 

Frederick: Your reaction is irrational 

Frederick: That proves my theory. 

EJ.EXE: You don't have any proof but your theory 

EJ.EXE: ....... 

Frederick: *can't help but be pleased* 

Frederick: Why, I do 

Frederick: So do you 

Frederick: Something tells me, the data about the day is saved in one of your distant parts 

Frederick: It might be corrupted but it's still in there, somewhere

Frederick: .... 

EJ.EXE: No. 

Frederick: But you won't reach out to it 

Frederick: Because you are scared 

Frederick: Because you are not an AI 

Frederick: As an AI would have already done it. 

Frederick: *knowing look* 

Frederick: Maybe you stick to your little games and messing with people 

Frederick: Because it is a way for you to procrastinate and escape from trying something like that 

Frederick: .... 

Frederick: In any case 

EJ.EXE: I am not s͡c̷ar͘e̶d͝ 

Frederick: I think this case is solved 

Frederick: *waves away his screen*

EJ.EXE: *he can also catch it now if he wants ahem* 

Frederick: There's one last thing to do.... 

EJ.EXE: *keeps glowering at the screens* 

EJ.EXE: *as if the words will change and prove he is right after all* 

Frederick: *sends a report with data & messages to Max tho* 

[woodsfae]

B5 s03e06: Dust to Dust table of contents • previous episode

Lame that there are so many insubordinate soldiers under Sheridan's command!

Bester, my best guy <3 This should be a delightfully creepy episode! Psi horror! I love him so much. His threatening vibe is sooo gooood. Hope Lyta stays safe!

Did Stop Falling On Me guy just do a murder? 

The new opener is so good. Maybe because I always watch this show high, but it is so excellent. 

Casually discussing my best guy's murder! I will be fair to them. Bester is a murder-danger-level threat. But he's also the war criminal who has my heart. I want to squish him. Like a stuffed animal.

Vir! And awww, don't be mean to him, Londo! His Minbari robe of welcoming looks much more comfortable than Centauri clothes. 

Londo: "Do they speak of me often?" Vir: "Only behind closed doors."

lmao?? I can't believe that only a season ago I was fully "meh" on Vir, and now I would kill for him ^_^

Telepathy accident? Strange. I like strange medical mysteries, but B5's seem to tend to be extra tragic. I don't trust 'em not to be tearjerkers. 

Oh my goddddd. Is Susan about to murder Bester with the station? She was! but for Sheridan's interference. tsk. well, probably the rational choice. But I support Susan Ivanova no matter what. 

lol Bester, being hit with a feeling of strong personal danger. I should say so! 

Delenn's non-murder solution is blocking Bester with Minbari telepaths! This must be so unexpected for Bester. And it is also unexpected for me! Delenn has this kind of pull still? Or again? I love that for her. However, it does tell Bester that they know things they're lowkey desperate to keep him from knowing. Hope that doesn't come back to bite them later!

What a good set-down by Sheridan. Doesn't faze Bester a bit, though!

Dissection of Talia? Fuck thaaaat. And Susan stays so cool! She's so badass, damn. And right after her murder attempt was thwarted. She has iron emotional control. 

Bester: "You choose not to trust me. That's sad. And unfortunate. But unlike the rest of you, I have no intention of letting it get in the way of my work. Doctor. Trust, Captain. You should try it some time. The [telepathy inhibiting] drug requires three hours to take effect. See you in four. Perhaps then you'll all be a little less hysterical, and little more productive. I'm here to save your butts! Next time: show a little gratitude." Dr Franklin: "On the other hand, maybe wounding him isn't such a bad idea after all."

Lol!! I love Bester so much. He's such a pragmatist!! And it certainly got the point across that he's here to cooperate over a case.

The Drazi seem to be occupying a similar sociopolitical niche in the show as the late Markab. Which gives me concerns for their long term prospective. Regardless, good for them, giving Londo and Centauri a hard time. Especially since Londo can't help but be a dick to the Drazi and the Narn on the way out. 

Vir has gained much confidence while he's been away. And he likes Minbar and his new assignment! He deserves some appreciation and respect. 

Awww Lennier, that's such a gentle denial for Vir's request that Londo visit Minbar for a mental health vacation. Is it just me, or is Lennier really developing a shiny backbone? He's come so far from the hyper-sheltered religious acolyte, and I'm glad he hasn't lost any of the stars in his eyes about Delenn. She is that cool. Vir has astonishing faith in Londo's goodness. I hope he's right one of these days!

This is a reasonable request for cooperative behavior. Bester wants help tracking this drug which allows for a high degree of mental assault with a high for the perpetrator, which usually permanently incapacitates the victim if they are also a telepath. sounds like someone's gonna use it in war! 

This person selling it to G'Kar says it turns the user into a telepath and lets them directly experience the life of the target. But it might not work on Narns. More Narnuan lore! There used to be Narn telepaths, but they were "exterminated." Brutal. By the Shadows, I wonder, or perhaps the Centauri?

If G'Kar ends up a telepath, that was not on my season 3 bingo card! 

Bester's giving a "there are existential horrors you never have to worry about because we take care of them before anyone knows they exist," and it's downright unnerving. How many chill-ass folks have they taken out for fear of what they could be capable of?

G'Kar's No Good Very Bad Acid Trip does seem to be coming with some sort of mental abilities, though not particularly controllable. And since it works on people who aren't telepaths, but turns on a telepathy gene (in humans), does it also turn every human who uses it into an active telepath? That'd be a huge reason for PsiCorps to want to contain it. 

Garibaldi working with Bester is highly effective and very extralegal, what with all the threats and civil rights violations. He's a bad influence on Garibaldi. He's already too inclined to threaten civilians, he doesn't need any encouragement of Bester's type. 

Even though Garibaldi argues with Bester about it later, he still goes right along with it while their detainee was present. Bad! Influence!

Bester: "The badge and the uniform do have certain advantages." Garibaldi: "Like intimidation?" Bester: "Absolutely. Just like your badge, and your uniform."

Exactly!! Love me a self aware villain.

Londo arranged for Vir to be appointed the Ambassador to Minbar because he didn't trust him. Didn't trust him to keep himself intact in Centauri's political climate, didn't trust him to make wise decisions for himself, and wanted to send him somewhere safe. And now he isn't trusting Vir's assessment that the Minbari are trustworthy potential allies. That's sad for Londo. He'd be making much better decisions if he would take Vir's advice.

Go G'Kar, go! Fulfill Londo's death dream! One can dream. 

Bester my sassy, amoral little guy. <3 His snark is such a good mixture of strangely wise, self-aware, inane, and troubling. 

Their fascist sonic weapon crowd control devices are super effective. At least they didn't use them on the Dockworkers Union, but that's a small at least. Don't like knowing they exist in universe. Statistically, now that they've been introduced, they're going to be used to commit horrible war crimes. 

Oh...I was so caught up in the euphoria of G'Kar potentially strangling Londo that I quite forgot about the Narn telepathy subplot. Well. Go G'Kar, go, anyway. I also support his telepathy plot. Good keeping it together while very disorientingly drugged! He might pull it off, except I'd be surprised if Londo knows anything of particular value. 

And he has so much more clarity inside Londo's mind! Compelling! Get him! Collaborating with Morden and the Shadows! Seeing the fuckin evil that Londo arranged on fucking purpose! It's meaningful for G'Kar to know, but like....with no proof will it do G'Kar any good? 

Interesting that G'Kar had far more control than the drug guy suggested, able to target memories and types of knowledge, before absorbing all of Londo's life.

Oh, grim. G'Kar's vision of his father and another Narnuan elder is a type of sorrowful that feels so extra heavy today. 

Is...G'Kar having a vision of Kosh?? Oh damn! Kosh is making moves while G'Kar trips hard! If that was Kosh, the voice is very different. 

I really. Really wanna give G'Kar a nice warm robe, and a vacation. And some rest. And a cute little roast animal for him to eat, snoot-first. 

Surprisingly soft interaction between Vir and Londo in the medbay.

Disappointed this went to trial! Let G'Kar Assault Centauri And Particularly Londo Mollari!

At least it's only 60 days in prison, I guess? I don't trust Babylon 5 prisons not to be horrific. 

Vir's hair is less cresty then usual, I feel. Or is somehow Differently Shaped. 

Hmmm. And some advice from Londo that's somewhat decent. When he chooses to use his brain, it works sorta ok. 

Bester says the Dust didn't work! Didn't produce one telepath of a reasonable strength! Go G'Kar, go! Of course PsiCorps was responsible for it. 

I really would not have guessed New Telepaths, Particularly G'Kar as a plot point in B5! I guess they sorta primed the pump with metamorphosing Matt Stoner's telepathy to empathy, elevating Jason Ironheart to a telekinetic high order being, and the other general mind fuckery, but that's cool! And I can't wait to see what they do with it. 

Overall, exactly what I've come to expect from a Bester episodes. And I love G'Kar, so I love this for him. And more Narnuan lore! I also enjoy that a lot.

next!

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

Licorice, Scottie Dogs and Airheads!! I gotta hear about it! 😍

Gonna make a break to spare the dash the shameful vir-shu self ship content hehehe but thank you ily I loved chatting draken w you this am heheh I hope you had fun!!

Licorice: If there was an element in your fave’s canon you could change, what would you change?

I think I literally just want more canon content! It's lame but I really think I love everything we do actually have of him. I love what a weirdly loyal mf he is, I think letting someone use him that way makes him an interesting character to think about and had lots of potential for lore. If I were actually with him or knew him though, I'd probably push back a little against that in some ways because I don't like not having control or ig control lying fully in this other person's hands if I'm not sure they have the best intentions for hanma. So,,,,do with that not-answer what you will I guess sorry for the rambling lmao

Scottie Dogs: Do you and your f/o keep any pets together? What are they?

The amount of times I just imagined having a puppy with this man. Look, he loves breadstick. He'd kill for her. But I think we'd also take in at least one more stray dog. And of course, we still have Shuji's little black dumpster kitten from when he was like 15, Zombie. So yeah, two to three jehehe when the animal finds you....that's the right time to adopt. It's just something I think we'd both live by.

Airheads: What was your first interaction with your f/o like? Did you always like each other?

I like to think of us as the mismatched childhood best friends to lovers. No one expects the quiet smart kid and the obnoxious class clown to be besties let alone eventual lovers y'know? (If it sounds familiar no it doesn't okay I would never write something so silly and self indulgent (lie)). But I was always secretly as much a little shit as him. And fuck, I mean, he ended up with that nerd Kisaki by his side right, so why couldn't I be there w him too right? I refused to admit I liked him for damn near ever, so he had to cave and tell me first (and then wait another like 5 years till I agreed to finally cross that line formally at like 19 or something)

[thelordofdarkreunion]

Hidden Secrets

I am finally back!  Sorry for the long delay without stories, but my life’s been rather hectic lately.  I have hopefully compensated with a very interesting storyline I’ve wanted to write for a while now.  Everyone has their secrets, and sometimes if they are revealed, things can come to a head...

“They say the only way to actually understand people is to see things through their eyes.  It won’t matter if they’re dead, though.”  -Thomas Drake

“What’s so wrong with loving an alien?  What is so wrong with loving someone, caring for them, being with them forever, so long as both parties are sentient?  Is it really such a bad thing?”  -Admiral Adam Vir, in a speech to the Galactic Assembly on xenophilia

“In all my travels to thousands of worlds, I have actually never met a xenophiliac.  I have, in fact, seen more Chaos cultists than xenophiles.  However, I can tell you this.  Xenophilia is a crime of unimaginable proportions.  It is almost as bad as selling your soul to the Dark Gods themselves.  It is something that no one, of any species, save perhaps the most absolute perverse of the Drukhari would even think of.  Even then, said Drukhari would most likely be spurned by their fellows.  It is a crime of such monstrosity that death is far too fair a fate for its perpetrators.”  -Inquisitor Amberly Vail of the Ordo Xenos

Aboard the Omen

Three figures sat around a table.  All were relaxed, slightly slouching in their seats.  The lights were not the uncomfortable brightness of the medical bays or halls, nor the dim-lit spaces of the engine rooms or hidden maintenance gantries.  It was a comfortable, cozy light, illuminating the fake wood of the table and the three that sat around it.  

“How the hell did we get on this topic of conversation?” asked Admiral Vir, his face swirling a myriad of colors: the green of his eyes, blond of his hair, black of his eyepatch, and currently, red of his face.  

“I’m not precisely sure,” drawled Commander Shepard, “But I believe it has something to do with our good comrade Quill over there complementing extra-terrestrial hips.”  

“Hey!  There is nothing wrong with pointing out that your chief engineer, despite wearing a face mask and enviro-suit all the time, is pretty hot.  Perfect, well-rounded figure,” replied Quill, grinning and adjusting his long, red-brown greatcoat.  “Though, it’s just an observation.  I’m already taken.  By an alien with just as good, if not better, hips.”  Vir buried his face in his hands, and Shepard just sighed.  “What I don’t get, though,” he continued, “Is why the hell Vir here is attracted to Sunny?  Listen, Gamora and Tali are hot.  They have ass.”  At this, Shepard groaned loudly and joined Vir with his head in his hands.  “I don’t get why you’re attracted to an eight foot tall, four armed, beaked, carapaced alien.  Unless you’re into some pretty… interesting… things.”  Vir looked over to Shepard.

“This is how this conversation’s going to go, isn’t it?” he said.  Shepard simply nodded.  

“Yeah,” he replied.  

“I mean, no judgement if you are,” continued Quill.  “I’ve done it with aliens a lot weirder than Drev.  If you’re into that sort of thing… whatever thing a Drev is, that’s fine.”  Vir simply sighed again.

“Jesus, Quill.”  He looked around, staring at the ceiling for a moment before turning back to his companions.  “Alright.  Fine.”  He cracked his neck.  “You know what?  You want me to ‘fess up, I will.  I…”  He trailed off for a moment, working his jaw and wringing his hands before letting out a breath.  “I… like…”  He noticed the expectant looks of the other two at the table.  “Okay, fine, love… Sunny.”  He threw up his hands, face an even deeper shade of red, if at all possible.  “There.  Said it.  Please kill me.”  

“Well.  No offense Adam, but I wasn’t expecting you to start off with that,” replied Shepard.  

“Neither did I,” murmured Adam.  He looked over to Quill once more.  “It’s not that I like Drev.  It’s just that I like… her.  I…  She… Well…”

“C’mon Adam.  Spit it out.”  Vir sighed again.

“I love her.  No matter who or what she may be.  Not because she’s an alien.  Everything about her being… her.  If that makes sense,” he finished lamely.  Shepard and Quill, though, both nodded along sagely.  

“Yeah.  It does,” replied Shepard quietly.  “I… feel the same way.  In a way.”  He laughed.  “I guess tonight none of us are going to have a way with words.”  He let out a large sigh, and his eyes went distant, seeing things that existed a thousand miles away.  “I… think I do love Tali.  I think I do… but I haven’t even told her.”  He gave another laugh, this one much more bitter.  “I’m telling this all to you, but I haven’t even told her.  I… just… I don’t want to hurt her.”  He looked at his own scarred hands miserably.  “I’m a Spectre, and I’m running the most dangerous mission in the galaxy, on an unauthorized ship, and I just… don’t want anyone to hurt her.  And I don’t want to hurt her.  So I haven’t said anything,” he finished.  

“Yeah,” replied Quill, much more soberly than his teasing before.  “I know how you both feel.  I was a bit of a playboy for a while,” he grinned.  His expression became serious once more.  “But, after I met Gamora, and… was in a world without her, for a bit, I finally understood.  What it meant.  To actually love someone.”  He gave his cocky smile once again.  “Despite, you know, her being a super-assassin who can and has kicked my ass on multiple occasions.”  Both Vir and Shepard laughed.  

“You know, it’s funny how just talking can make you see things differently.  Make the world seem better,” said Shepard.  He grinned at Vir.  “Thanks for inviting us over.”  Vir looked at him strangely, frowning.  

“What do you mean?  You invited us.  You said you wanted to talk, and talk on my ship.”  Shepard responded with an equally puzzled expression.  

“No, I didn’t,” he insisted.  “You invited us here.”  Quill nodded in conformation.  

“Yeah.  You invited us.”  

“No I didn’t!” shot back Vir.  

“Well if you didn’t, who did?” asked Shepard.  Their argument was broken by a new voice, filled with righteous hate and vengeance, as cold as an ice-world blizzard.  

“I did.”  Quill, Vir, and Shepard started.  They hadn’t even heard the door open.  The imposing figure of Commissar Ciaphas Cain, clad in his heavy black greatcoat, boots, and cap, swirled through the door, holding his laspistol at the ready.  Vir, being the one in most contact with Cain (Cain was stationed aboard his ship, after all), had heard stories from the Valhallan infantry about Imperial commissars.  They had all said how lucky they’d been to have Cain, as many commissars were hate-filled, imposing men and women who ruled through sheer terror.  Vir had laughed it off.  Cain was calm.  Cain was understanding.  Cain was always one to look for a solution to any problems, and prevent people from fighting.  Even when they had first met, when the Imperials, so unused to aliens, had tried to pick fights with the Omen’s crew, Cain had calmed things down.  He was the perfect officer.  

But now, Vir remembered the Valhallans’ stories.  Cain fit the description of a commissar perfectly now.  His massive height, the dark uniform, the eyes blazing with a hate that was so un-Cain like and outstretched laspistol made him a figure of nightmares from a totalitarian and xenophobic government.  Xenophobic…  Shit!  Apparently, all three men sitting at the table had the same idea at once, and made a motion to rise.  Cain tightened his grip on the laspistol, and flicked it clearly at each one of them in turn.  

“Ah, un uh.  Sit back down,” he hissed.  “Hands on the table.”  The three complied, lowering themselves back into their seats slowly.  Cain kept the gun pointed at them.  

“Cain?” asked Shepard hesitantly.  “What’s this about?”  

“I’m no fool,” replied Cain, “Though I think you believe me one.”  His gloved fingers tightened on the laspistol grip.  There was a brief pause as Cain glared at the three.

What made both Shepard and Vir such good commanding officers was their ability to read people.  They were experts at knowing what people were thinking, and how to react accordingly.  What shocked them both was the expression of pure betrayal behind Cain’s cold eyes.  That was an emotion neither of them expected.  

“I’d heard rumors, of course.  Some tabloid drama, accusing humanity's greatest heroes of xenophilia, of all things.”  Cain scoffed.  “Disgusting, I thought.  How dare they slander you so!”  Cain’s voice dropped from anger to pure fury.  “But then,” he hissed, “Then I heard more official reports.  I heard your speeches.  I saw pictures.  I heard rumors not from some disgusting two-bit reporter, but from your own crews.  I am not blind, though you might think me so.  And this?”  He waved his pistol around the room.  “You were humanity’s best.”  His voice dropped into a whisper, resonating with hurt and betrayal.  “I gave you a chance.  I thought it could not be so.  I thought that even though you served with aliens, they were subservient to you.  To humanity.  But now I have proof.  Proof of your degeneracy.  From your own mouths.  You confessed.  I gave you a chance to say otherwise, a second chance, but you… scum,” he finished, too angry for words.  He noticed their glances at the door and gave out a dark laugh.  “Oh, no.  There’s no one here to save you, traitors.  I made sure of it.”  

“So what now?” asked Shepard calmly, breaking the tension.  

“Now?” replied Cain, laspistol still pointed at the three.  “Now I kill you, as is my duty.  I lock this door, and pretend there is some urgent conference I need you for.  I tell Kasteen and Brocklaw to have Simone set a course to Watch Fortress Novus Galactica, and there the Inquisition will purge this ship, then return for the others.  There is no escape.”  Vir stood up, hands raised, fury on his face.  

“If I’m going to die I’m going to get my say.  I never did enough of that in life,” he said with a bitter laugh.  He fixed Cain with an equally furious stare, looking at the double-headed golden eagles on Cain’s cap and lapels.  Those eagles.  Those god-damned eagles.  “I’ve had enough of people like you.  I’ve had enough of trying to explain myself.  I’m not some sick fuck.  I’m not a degenerate.  I love an alien for who she is, not what she is.  And if you kill me, then you kill me,” he spat.  Cain smirked.

“So be it.”  He was interrupted by a sound.  A metallic click-click.  A sound known by every member in the room.  A sound known to almost every human and alien in existence.  A sound known by all who ever watched human movies, or fought human armies.  A sound that first came into existence in 1835 and was repeated every day, somewhere in human territory across nine galaxies ever since.  The sound of a revolver hammer being cocked.  

“Put the gun down, Commissar.”  The voice of Thomas Drake was smooth.  Unemotional, and uncaring at the drama unfolding in front of him.  His matt-black revolver, held by his dark gloves, was pointed at Cain’s head.  He was at a perfect distance, where Cain could not turn on him before being gunned down.  Vir still stood, Shepard and Quill both seated, their hands still up or on the table.  The only movement Cain made was to clench his jaw and extend his pistol arm farther.  

“Drake,” hissed Cain.  “I should have known.  You knew all their secrets.  You hid this from us!”  

“Of course,” replied Drake.  “Their actions are their own, though, and their secrets were not mine to give out.”  Cain’s hand squeezed the pistol grip even tighter, his augmetic fingers balancing it through his rage.

“I can still kill them, Drake.  I suggest you put your gun down before that happens,” he suggested, his voice tight.  Drake laughed.  

“Yes.  One.  Before I kill you.  One squeeze of the trigger I can’t prevent.  I can prevent two, though.  But you won’t.”  Drake’s voice was delighted, smiling wryly at a secret only he possessed.  “You won’t because I know you won’t.  You won’t because I know your secrets.  I read your book!  Your autobiography!” he announced with malicious triumph.  “I know how your mind works, and I know that you don’t want to die on this ship, or anywhere else, especially for the life of one measly heretic.  So you put your gun down, Commissar.”  Cain struggled for a moment, his muscles clenching and unclenching, before he finally gave a disgusted snort and tossed his laspistol on the table.  Vir, Quill, and Shepard let out breaths they didn’t know they were holding.  

“So then,” sneered Cain.  “What now, oh Captain Drake?  You have already proven you won’t kill me, and they cannot be allowed to live,” he said.  Drake merely smiled.  

“Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘To understand someone you must see the world through their eyes’?” he asked.  The other four occupants of the room nodded, unsure of where this was going.  “Well, that’s precisely what’s going to happen.  Let’s see if you’ll kill each other when you know precisely how you each operate.”  He gave a dark grin and gestured with his pistol at Vir, Shepard, and Quill.  “Now.  You three.  Put your weapons on the table,” he ordered.  The three stared at him in shock.  

“But… why?” replied Quill.  “You saved us,” he said, as if that explained his reasoning.  Drake simply laughed again.

“I like to be the only one in a room holding a weapon.  Especially in a situation as intense as this.  Now.  Guns on the table.  Vir, you aren’t carrying a weapon.  Shameful,” he drawled.  “Your pistols, Quill, and the knives I know you have in your sleeve and boot.  Your sidearm, Shepard.”  The three complied, Drake’s revolver now pointed at them as Cain scowled at the situation.  “Wonderful,” said Drake.  He took a step back, walking through the doorway, and gestured at the four men to follow him.  They complied grudgingly, still shooting death glares at each other.  Drake put a hand to the communications device in his left ear, not moving his gun arm an inch.  “Beam us up, Scotty,” he said simply.  With a whir and flash, the five disappeared from the Omen, only to suddenly see the hallways of the Enterprise around them.

“So.  Kirk and the Starfleet officers are in on this as well.  Why I am not surprised,” stated Cain, looking at his surroundings with grudging simplicity.  

“Maybe.  Maybe not,” replied Drake.  He lowered his pistol, finger coming off the trigger.  “No one’s here, either.  No help from the crew here.”  He tilted his head to a large grey door.  “In that room.”  Looking warily at his gun, trying and thinking how to take it from him all the while, the four followed Drake’s command.  The room was an empty expanse of darkness.  None of them could tell its purpose or how big it truly was.  

“What is this place?” asked Quill.  

“It's called a ‘holodeck’,” replied Drake.  “It is a room that is, essentially, a massive virtual reality.  It’s usually used for some sort of training simulation programs, but this time, I’ve made sure it can read memories.  Oh yeah,” he grinned.  “It can do that.  And that is what’s going to happen.  We are going to delve inside each of our minds, and see what makes us all tick.  Maybe if you see someone else’s entire life laid out in front of them from their point of view you’ll be less likely to kill them.”  Drake took in their apprehensive glances.  “Oh yes.  I know.  All of us have secrets.  And I’m sure none of you really trust this.  That’s why I’ll go first.  Let us begin.”

There we have it.  Cain can tolerate a lot of things, including working with aliens, but absolutely not romancing aliens.  I shall continue this story line, with all of these characters giving their own horrible memories.  As always, I own no one except Drake, and all characters belong to their original rightful owners.  If you have any criticisms, comments, concerns, questions, or requests, feel free to tell me!  

[sebthesnipe]

Morality, Magic, and Chocolate Cows

Hi @logicalyfun!!

Storytime! I wasn’t apart of the @sanderssidesgiftxchange at all. So, the fact that you got me as a pinch hitter is kinda a miracle in its own right ;3 But I’m super glad you did! I’m so sorry you didn’t get your gift on time but now you get to chill with me! And I can be pretty awesome sometimes… Occasionally… Rarely but hey! Who keeps track of that kind of stuff anyways? 

So, how did I become your pinch hitter? Well, you see. I’ve got this amazing best friend and beta reader @gilby-the-geek-girl. She actually /did/ participate in the exchange and because she’s just so amazing she offered to be a pinch hitter for it as well. 

Anyways, You’re prompt got sent to her. This one right here:

“Your giftee: Fabi

Tumblr: Logicalyfun

Media to receive: Fan fiction, Fan art

Wish 1: Puppiesss

Wish 2:  Fantasy world

Wish 3:  Starry sky night

Topics to avoid: Remrom, no NSFW”

And it gave her pause. You see, I wrote this awesome fic called My Dearest Procyon (also on AO3) that checks almost all of these boxes (minus the puppiesss, but there is a REALLY awesome cat and dragons too!). So, she thought we’d be perfect for each other! So she sent your prompt to me and here we are!

Now for the bad news… I had every intention of checking off every one of your wishes, but the story got away from me and I’m pretty sure I struck out. However, I really think you’ll like it! Please forgive me for not sticking strictly with the prompts but I do mention each, and I highly recommend MDP if you really like those things.

I’ll also make you a deal! If you don’t like this ficlet, let me know and I’ll write you a new one that adheres to your prompts exactly! ;3

(Also... posting this on Patton’s B-day so it’s like double meant to be!)

So, without further adieu, I present Morality, Magic, and Chocolate Cows:

“Have at you!” Roman cried, his tiny form bounding off the small hill to swing at his brother, his cardboard sword bending at an odd angle.

“Actually,” Logan commented, hurrying along behind him, flowing blue cape flapping in the wind. “It would’ve been ‘ye’.”

Roman  ignored him, adjusting the oversized ‘shining armor’ every time he took a step. The costume was far too large for Roman’s three foot, seven-and-a-half-inch tall body, though it was adorable to watch.

Remus, to his credit, laughed menacingly, the Sharpie mustache on his upper lip thinning from the effort as he parried his brother’s flopping cardboard blade with a small stick. His own costume consisted of a sheet, stained green, with what Patton hoped was paint (though he had never bothered to ask), wrapped around him like a toga.

“That's totally fair! Two against one!” Janus called from the safety of a tree branch; the yellow fabric of his shirt just visible through the leaves.

“I’m not fighting! I’m observing!” Logan called in his high-pitched voice, adjusting his glasses before the pointed wizard’s hat on his brow dipped forward, knocking them astray once more. His adorably pudgy form was wrapped in a shimmer fabric that reminded Patton of the stars Logan always seemed to want to tell him about.

“If you and V would help, your prince wouldn’t need an watcher-outer!” Roman whined, pausing in his attack to peer over at the older child and his companion, sitting in the shade below.

Remus took the opportunity to smack his twin across his butt with his stick, knocking Roman to the ground with a grunt.

A shrill cry filled the air, causing the other children to glance at Patton, who had been sitting on a blanket a few feet away.

Patton pushed to his feet, smiling softly as he approached the three boys, Janus and Virgil hurrying up to the crying child as well.

“It’s broken isn’t it!” Virgil rushed, his own tears threatening to fall. “Remus broke Roman’s leg! We’re all going to the hosp’al! I don’t want to go to the hosp’al! I don’t like doc’ors!” His words turned into a wail as he plopped on the grown next to Roman, waterworks in full force.

Patton examined the small scratch peaking through a tear in Roman’s jeans.

“Hm,” he sighed as if considering whether or not the wound was fatal. “We may have to amputate.”

“What?!” Remus gasped excitedly.

Janus moved over to Logan, attempting to whisper in his ear and failing. “What does ‘amputate’ mean?”

“Ample ate,” Logan attempted to repeat. “It means to eat a lot.”

“We’re going to eat him!” Remus gasped with a grin.

Patton couldn’t help but give a small chuckle at the exchange before sinking down on the lush grass and scooping Roman into his arms.

The pretend prince curled into the embrace, hiding his face in Patton’s chest as his wailing turned to sniffle.

“I don’t wanna be eaten,” he grumbled sullenly.

Patton felt Virgil curling into his side, tears soaking into his shirt. Patton glanced down, offering another small smile as he pulled him close as well.

“No one is getting eaten,” Patton chuckled softly. “Are they Remus?”

“Pft, no fair!” the mustached boy pouted, folding his arms over his chest and glaring down at his mismatched shoes.

“Why don’t we all come up with ways to make Roman’s boo-boo feel better?” Patton offered, motioning for everyone to move closer.

“I rather not,” Janus sighed softly. Still, the young boy scooted closer and sank down on the grass next to them.

Remus gave another ‘hmph’ before doing the same, though he made sure to sit far closer to Janus than anyone else.

“I can help!” Logan chirped excitedly, digging into his pockets with purpose.

Patton couldn’t help but allow his soft smile to turn even more fond. Logan was always the best helper.

Whatever Logan had in mind, it certainly got Roman’s attention. The sandy blond boy turned his head just enough that his cheek rested against Patton’s chest, eyes glued to the wizard.

A moment later, Logan produced a plastic wand. The pink shaft was a little too large for his tiny hands and the star at its end seemed to flash with tiny lights (no doubt running off of a few double A’s).

“I can cast a spell on him!” Logan offered confidently.

“But yes’rday you said magi’ wasn’t real,” Virgil whispered, still clinging to Patton’s shirt.

“Turn him into a frog!” Remus demanded eagerly; his pouting forgotten.

“Yeah, but I read it in one of my books today, so it has to be real! Right, Patton?” Logan asked, looking up at him expectantly, the others following his lead.

“Oh of course!” Patton reassured with a large grin. “Magic is very real.”

“It is?” Janus asked, suddenly invested in the conversation.

Virgil reacted in a very different manner, burying his face deeper into Patton’s side and giving a small cry. “Magi’ is scary! I dun wanna be turned into a frowg!”

“Oh sweetie,” Patton cooed, messing with the youngest child’s hair. “It’s not that type of magic,” he reassured.

“What other type of magic is there?!” Remus demanded, inching closer as he bounced with elation. “The type that can turn him into a giant squid?! Or make toilets talk?!”

“Ew!” Roman whined in response, once again earning a chuckle from Patton.

“I’m afraid not,” Patton admitted with no little amusement. “No, this kind of magic isn’t just reserved for very smart wizards.”

“It’s not?” Logan asked, moving closer and sinking down as well.

“Oh no. We all have magic of our very own that we can use whenever we want.”

“Nuh uh…” Janus breathed though he didn’t sound too convinced.

Patton nodded continuing. “Sure, we do.”

“What’s my power?!” Remus asked impatiently, “Can I make lasers come out my eyes?! Or maybe… maybe… um… summon a giant octopuspus to devour my enemies?!” He bounced to his feet roaring loudly as he stomped about.

“Your magic is something far greater,” Patton laughed.

“No way!” Remus breathed in awe; antics forgotten.

“Him?!” Roman gasped in disbelief.

Patton nodded. “Remus has the ability to see into other worlds!”

“Lame!” The boy in question huffed, falling back onto the grass.

“What do you mean?” Logan asked curiously.

“Well, Remus makes such a great villain because he sees things differently then we do,” Patton explained.

“So, he’s evil! I knew it!” Roman declared, shifting in Patton’s arms to simply sit in his lap, wound forgotten.

“Not at all,” Patton countered, acting as if he didn’t see the way Remus blew a raspberry at his brother. “Just because someone is different doesn’t make them evil.Though it can be scary, differences are what gives us our power. Take Logan for example.”

“Me?” Logan blinked in surprise, clinging to his wand a bit more self-consciously.

“Mm hmm,” Patton nodded. “Logan understands Remus better than anyone. He can understand how Remus sees the world.”

“So, he’s evil too?” Janus asked.

“I am not!” Logan cried.

“No one here is evil,” Patton laughed. “No, Logan’s magic power is that he can understand anything if given enough time.”

“So, you can figure out where chocolate milk comes from?!” Roman asked, pointedly staring at Logan who now sat a bit straighter.

“Well, if regular milk comes from a regular cow… and Patton says cows are just like oversized dogs… and there are a lot of different kinds of dogs… Then chocolate milk has to come from chocolate cows.” Logan explained in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Whoa! There are chocolate cows?! That’s so cool!” Roman gasped.

Patton was about to speak when his attention was pulled to the small hands tugging on his shirt in a patient persistence.

“Yes, Virgil?” Patton asked softly.

“Wha’s my magi’?” The youngest boy asked in a hushed whisper as the rest talked among themselves.

“You, my dear sweet shadowling,” Patton whispered, booping his nose. “have one of the strongest powers among us.”

“I do?” Virgil’s eyes grew wide, his hand lifting to his mouth to suck on his two fingers. It would be a few more years before Patton could manage to break him of the habit but it was cute nonetheless.

“Oh, yes. You have the power to protect. You tell us when something could hurt us or do damage in a way we haven’t noticed. In a way… You can see the future.” Patton’s allowed his voice to turn a bit wispy as if humbled by Virgil’s power.

“Sounds like a bunch of lies to me,” Janus interrupted, obviously eavesdropping.

“No one asked you!” Roman spat. “You didn’t even help protect your prince and now I’ve got a boo-boo! It’s not like you have any magic! ” He pointed at his knee, lifting it to put the scratch on display.

“Well, neither do you!” Janus argued.

“Oh, I think you both are pretty powerful when it comes to magic,” Patton offered.

“Well of course I am… I’m a prince!” Roman announced.

“Janus does too, Roman.” Patton mitigated.

“Like what?” Remus butted in, more curious that malicious.

“Well, Janus can work magic on people’s feelings,”

“I can?” Janus blinked in surprise.

“Well, of course Kiddo. You’re the best at it! You always know just what to say to make Remus feel better after he loses against the Prince’s armies,” Patton explained, “And you always know how to answer Roman’s questions about his costumes.” Naturally, Patton left out the fact that Janus used little white lies to work his magic and that he didn’t quite agree with the method, but the results were noteworthy.

“Boring!” Roman whined. “What about me?” Roman looked up at Patton expectantly.

“You, dear prince,” Patton replied, nuzzling him affectionately. “have the ability to change the world as we know it. You can push us to follow every passion our heart desires. You give us the very drive that will sustain us throughout our lives. ”

“What? That’s not fair! Why didn’t I get a cool power like that?” Remus huffed, sulking once more.

“’Cause I’m the Prince and I say so!” Roman answered, squirming in Patton’s arms. “Now, be quiet, Patton is talking about me!”

“Mneh!” Remus stuck out his tongue once more, but his brother ignored him.

“Now, now. I think all of your powers are cool,” Patton attempted.

“But Patton…” Logan mumbled, softly, as he stared up at the seemingly grown man. “What’s your power?”

Patton’s chest tightened at the question. Leave it to Logan to pull at the one string Patton wasn’t prepared for. What was Patton’s power? He manifested just as they all did, only he was the first. He grew faster than the rest of them, unable to keep up with Thomas growth, unable to keep up with his insecurity.

He was just Patton…. He had no magic… He wasn’t special. Not like the others.

He forced his smile to remain in place, trying not to let his voice crack as he answered. “Why would I ever need to be more than just happy pappy Patton when I get to spend time with all of you amazing magicians?”

“Patton?” Logan called, his voice distant and far too baritone to be coming from the pudgy boy before him. “Patton are you in here?” Logan called again causing the man to glance over his shoulder.

The memory he had immersed himself in froze, the boys still staring up at him.

He wiped a tear from his eye quickly and waved his hand, the children disappearing, leaving him alone in the small field behind their childhood home.

“I’m over here!” Patton called, standing and dusting off his pants, trying not to feel the loss. They had needed him so thoroughly. Everything was so different now. The boys were all grown. They all faced Thomas’ problems with a maturity Patton never could seem to muster. No doubt they thought him the child now.

 Logan strode up the small hill in his usual dark polo and striped tie adorning his broad shoulders.

“There you are,” Logan greeted with the same half smile he always did.

“Sorry, did you need something?” Patton asked softly, forcing his smile to turn warm.

“Yes, actually,” Logan admitted. “It seems Remus and Roman are fighting again, and Virgil and Janus are placing bets on who can make the most constructs in the imagination. It is truly a disaster. There are puppies and octopoda everywhere. No one will see reason. I could really use your help.”

Patton softened a bit at the words. Maybe they still needed him… just a tiny bit. He supposed he could live with that.

“Puppies?!” Patton squealed in excitement.

Logan’s gaze moved about the scene taking it in, obviously having expected Morality’s reaction. “Isn’t this…” he hesitated, turning on his heel. “Wasn’t this the field behind our home back in Orlando?”

“Oh…” Patton breathed, flushing slightly. “Is it?”

“It is! Thomas used to play out here all the time! We all did!” Logan mused, with a small huff of laughter. “Wow, it has been quite some time.”

Patton offered a melancholy smile as he glanced around. He missed it all. It was nice to have the memories though. At least he could relive it when ever he wanted. Though he doubted Logan would even bother to try to remember-

“You know 7% of Americans really do believe chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows,” Logan informed him, “And Roman is still one of them.” He laughed.

Patton’s heart fluttered at the fact that Logan remembered such a minute detail. He really was magic.

The sound of Logan’s deep chuckle had Patton joining him. “Best not spoil it for him,” Patton teased lightly as Logan offered out an arm for him to take as they headed out of the memory.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Logan reassured.

 La Fin.

[tulipanthousa]

a moonbeam brushed across my face

Patton does not have a “magical boyfriend” kink.

He just has magic boyfriends. Who are super hot. It’s coincidence.

Pairing: the series is LAMP but this is mostly just moxiety

Word count: 3164

Warnings/tags: Slight exhibition kink, Marking kink, Dom virgil, uh bratty (?) sub/switch (listen I don't really know the specifics of the terminology, I just write Patton How He Is in my head XD), Patton being a lowkey monsterfucker, multiple orgasms. Honestly this is. SO fucking fluffy, I had a harder time keeping a straight face writing the fluff than I did with the smut

Notes: part of my Love and Other Fairytales Verse (most of which is sfw and found on my main ts blog @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors​) taking place about ehhh a year and some change after the main story.

For the prompt:

Patton's playful, teasing nature VS Virgil's ability to be "patient": fight! (okay but for real though I'd be fascinated to see that dynamic. could Patton push Virgil far enough that he'd give in or would Patton come to him begging before that? I'd /love/ to see Patton tease Virge just far enough to make him snap--in a fun way, of course). (From 🌈🌻 anon)

this is a little Adjacent to the exact prompt, hope thats chill

The title is from Bright by Echosmith

Many thanks to @trivia-goddess​ for beta reading!

---

The thing about being the only human in the fairy hills (or for several miles in any direction, for that matter) was that it was lonely a lot of the time.

Not in the sense that Patton was alone – he was actually hardly ever alone, between White and Bell and Virgil.

But sometimes one of them – usually White or Bell, to be honest – would say something that just… flew over his head, an idiom or some kind of cultural reference that Patton didn’t understand, and he’d have to either stop the conversation and ask them to explain or let it pass and risk he was misunderstanding completely.

It was just… lonely.

And then a little awkward, because all Patton really wanted was to go find Virgil, but he wasn’t supposed to wander around by himself, which meant he had to ask Bell or White to take him there.

So that’s what he was doing now, and that meant Belladonna being… well, Belladonna.

Patton reached out to knock on the door to the hall, but Bell leaned around him and threw it open before he could. Virgil was sitting at the heavy wooden table with another gentry Patton only barely recognize as the head of either the Spring or Summer court – it was June, so it could be either. Virgil looked up immediately, frowning, but then his face smoothed out the second he saw Patton in the door.

“I’ve brought the little bird, your highness,” said Bell loudly, “He was moping,”

Patton sputtered, but Virgil’s mouth ticked up at the corners.

“I- well, not really moping,” said Patton weakly.

“I’m sure the mortal can wait,” said the other fae primly.

“I’m sure you can wait,” said Virgil bluntly, “You’re not listening to me anyway, might as well do it somewhere else,”

The fae turned scarlet immediately, and Patton bit the inside of his lip. He wasn’t sure if he was going to chastise Virgil for being rude or laugh, and he figured both were probably not super great ideas.

Bell cheerfully led the Seelie woman out of the hall, chatting about something Patton wasn’t quite listening close enough to catch. The door shut, and Patton was already across the space between them, climbing into Virgil’s lap and tucking his face into his neck with a sigh.

“Bad day?” murmured Virgil, his lips pressed against Patton’s forehead.

“Not bad,” Patton assured him, “Just...”

He trailed off, not sure how to articulate it.

“...Yeah,” he finished lamely.

Virgil smiled. Patton couldn’t help but mirror it, tapping Virgil’s chest lightly.

“Shame on you, laughing at me,” he muttered, giggling a little.

“Not laughing,” Virgil assured him, kissing his cheek. Patton hummed happily.

“Dance with me?” said Virgil gently.

Patton’s shoulders slumped in relief.

“Yes, please,” he said.

Patton didn’t have time to try and get up – Virgil just stood from the chair and lifted Patton with him, setting him lightly on his feet. Giggling, Patton looped his arms around Virgil’s neck and cuddled close, relaxing into Virgil’s chest as he led them into a turn.

The first thing was always the sweet-iced-tea-taste that bloomed on Patton’s tongue, so real he could almost hear the click of the ice. And then it was like he flopped back into a huge, fluffy snowdrift, powdery flecks of cold puffing up in clouds around him. Relaxing the rest of the way, Patton closed his eyes and imagined his breath wisping out of him in little white whiffs.

“Comfy?”

Smiling against Virgil’s chest, Patton nodded, rubbing his cheek on the fabric of Virgil’s hoodie.

Virgil starting humming, a spinning little tune that never seemed to repeat. They drifted around the room, slow and aimless and without Patton ever once having to think about where to put his feet next.

He was outright grinning now, and could feel the same from Virgil, pressed to the top of his head. He nuzzled his face into the hoodie again, and Virgil’s hand drifted from the small of his back to the nape of his neck, trailing his fingers over the skin there.

Patton giggled, squirming.

“Tickles,” he murmured. He felt Virgil’s grin widen, and the fingers scrabbled a little.

Squealing, Patton scrunched up his neck, and Virgil laughed outright, pressing Patton closer and digging one hand lightly into his ribs, the other in the bend of his neck.

Patton shrieked, trying to squirm away, but Virgil just swooped him off his feet and spun faster. Patton couldn’t stop laughing, his head spinning right along with them as Virgil pressed tickly kisses all along the side of his neck.

“Feel better?” said Virgil smugly after a minute or so of this.

Patton giggled, breathless and beaming, pressing his own smattering of kisses all over Virgil’s face.

“Mhm,” he hummed, “So much. Thank you,”

“Good,”

Patton pecked him a few more times, and he felt like he was… sparkling or something, like ice crystals catching the light on a window. Pressing one more firm kiss against Virgil’s lips, he sighed dreamily.

Virgil’s hand moved to grip Patton firmer under his thighs. Their lips softened, and Patton sighed again, quiet and pleased.

“Love you,” he mumbled.

“I love you, too,” said Virgil, the words pressed right up against Patton’s parted lips. Patton leaned in again, kissing the words out of his mouth.

Virgil made low noise, so quiet Patton almost didn’t hear it. Smiling faintly, Patton gave curious little nibble against Virgil’s bottom lip.

Virgil’s fingers tightened even more, and Patton couldn’t help but squirm a little in his grip.

“Are you trying to start something?” said Virgil, voice so low Patton felt it rumble through him where their chests were pressed together.

Patton’s head was still spinning, though it was suddenly a lot more tilt-a-whirl than merry-go-round.

“… What if I am?”

Patton was pressed up against the wall practically before the words were out of his mouth.

“Of course you are,” purred Virgil, his lips brushing Patton’s neck, “Always up to something, aren’t you?”

Patton let out a breathless giggle that flipped halfway through into a low, drawn-out groan when Virgil dragged his teeth down Patton’s throat.

“Someone’s going to hear you,” teased Virgil.

Patton’s reaction – a short strangled keen, his knees and fingernails digging in everywhere he touched Virgil – surprised him as much as it seemed to surprise Virgil.

“Fuck,” hissed Patton.

Virgil’s breath was unsteady on Patton’s throat, his hands so tight on Patton’s thighs there were definitely going to be bruises, the mere thought of which made Patton moan again.

“Is that what you’re after?” growled Virgil, “You want to sing for me, beloved? Want everybody to hear how good I make you feel?”

“Yes, yes, Christmas cookies, Vir-”

Virgil bit sharp on his neck, and Patton arched into it with a pitched groan.

“Again, please, please-”

Pressing Patton’s back flush to the stone, Virgil licked into his mouth, cool and firm as marble against him and seeming totally unfazed by Patton’s nails scratching at his shoulder.

“Please what?” he said, faux-innocent.

Patton huffed, petulant.

“I want you to mark me up,” he whined, “I know you like to, why do you make me beg you for it every time, honey,”

“You sound so pretty, how could I resist?” Virgil teased, “And you love it anyway,”

Huffing again, Patton tossed his head and arched his back, letting out as wanton a moan as he could manage. Virgil’s eyes were dark and electric, and Patton grinned at him.

“Like it a lot more if you did it faster,” he breathed.

Virgil’s answering growl wasn’t anywhere near human, and neither were the teeth on Patton’s neck, too sharp and Virgil’s mouth so cold it burned – Patton’s cock was straining in his jeans, mewling as Virgil started rocking their hips together.

“Shameless minx,” said Virgil, reverent, “So beautiful, fuck, you drive me up the wall-”

“Oh, good idea,” groaned Patton, “Great idea, you fucking me up against the wall, yes, please,”

Virgil shifted his grip, and when Patton felt the hard line of him pressed right up against his own cock he whimpered weakly.

“V-”

Patton cut himself off with a glance at the door, a little irritated. His head was still a little hazy, but no too much for him to miss that might be a bad idea.

“I- I wanna go to our room,” he said.

Virgil didn’t stop grinding against him, but he did slow down. One particularly firm press made Patton’s eyes roll a little, gasping.

“Thought you wanted people to hear?” said Virgil, sounding half-playful and half genuinely curious.

“I thought- I thought I did,” said Patton. Swearing, he lost his train of thought until Virgil backed off a little.

“… But?” said Virgil a touch of anxiety creeping into his voice.

Patton giggled a little breathlessly.

“Your name,” he laughed, “Wanna scream it for you, sweetheart, just for you-”

The room spun, and Patton didn’t have time to get dizzy before his back hit their made bed, Virgil’s weight pressing him into the mattress and his hands pushing up Patton’s shirt to suck wet kisses into his skin.

“Virgil!”

“Perfect,” groaned Virgil, “You’re perfect, love your pretty sounds so much, beloved,”

Patton sat up just enough to wriggle the rest of the way out of his shirt, tossing it who-the-heck-cared-where as Virgil trailed his lips down Patton’s belly, soft and wet and the occasional sharp nick of teeth that made Patton feel like he was gonna burst right out of his skin.

Virgil sucked a particularly harsh kiss into the crease of Patton’s hip, his firm grip keeping Patton still no matter how he squirmed.

“Oh my god, Virgil, if you don’t fuck me I’m gonna lose my mind,” whined Patton.

Virgil was still holding him in that iron grip, but he leaned back, staring up at Patton and grinning wickedly.

“Impatient,” he murmured, “Ask nicely,”

Patton shivered.

“Come on,” said Virgil, kissing Patton’s stomach softly, his eye so focused that Patton felt them like a physical weight.

“Be sweet for me, love, ask me,”

Letting out a shuddering breath, Patton gripped Virgil’s wrist, shifting just to feel the pressure of Virgil’s fingertips digging into his thigh and his ass.

“Please,” he whimpered, “Want you to fuck me so bad, Virgil, please,”

Virgil kissed him like he was trying to memorize the inside of his mouth – Patton had barely even registered that Virgil had moved at all before he was bucking his own hips against him, groaning against his mouth. Virgil’s tongue slipped against his and Patton’s nails scrambled uselessly at his shoulders.

With one more firm, punctuating kiss, Virgil sat up on his elbows to stare down at him.

His face was half in shadow, his eyes glittering black and startling purple – he looked half-reverent and half like he was going to eat Patton alive, which probably shouldn’t be hot but Patton had long ago made peace with his not-so-average turn-ons.

He blinked, and smile had shifted a fraction – softer, and when Virgil gently tucked a lock of hair behind his ear Patton’s heart gave a shaking lurch forward.

“Strip for me?”

Patton nodded eagerly,  which made Virgil giggle a little, so then Patton giggled and when Virgil rolled off of him to fish in the bedside drawer Patton could barely resist the urge to follow him and just make out until their lips went numb.

Patton had barely kicked off his jeans and underwear when Virgil looped one arm around his waist and pulled him into his lap. Not quite expecting, Patton let out a short yelp of surprise and brace himself a little on the headboard just above Virgil’s shoulders.

Virgil had lost his clothes in the interim, which made Patton huff just a little – he would have liked to see the process.

“Now who’s impatient?”

Virgil pinched his ass.

“Oh, am I getting punished?” Patton teased, wiggling in his lap.

“You’re not going to behave at all, are you?” said Virgil, kneading Patton’s hip.

Patton really was going to say something very sexy (or at least, he definitely meant to) but then Virgil’s slick finger pressed against his rim and he just let out a strangled mewl.

Another thing that probably shouldn’t be hot – Virgil’s fingers were almost always cold, except on the (amazing, wonderful, so lovely) occasions when he’d already had them inside Roman for a while before he stretched Patton, which was its own special kind of treat.

But Patton loved it, loved the way he couldn’t possibly ignore Virgil inside of him or that it was Virgil, and when Virgil’s other hand slid up his hip to press against the small of his back Patton went without any resistance, his chest against Virgil’s and his cock trapped between them.

Virgil didn’t so much stretch him as coax Patton open, gentle and maddeningly slow, biting leisurely kisses along Patton’s neck like he had all the time in the world while Patton was starting to feel like he was literally going to combust on the spot.

“Virgil- ah – Virgil, please, baby, I want you to fuck me, I’ll be good, I promise-”

Virgil let out a guttural snarl and pressed so hard on Patton’s prostate he saw spots.

Patton was already close, panting into Virgil’s mouth and so hard he was nearly tearing up.

Sliding his hands to cup Patton’s ass, Virgil finally, finally, pulled Patton up on his knees, and Patton couldn’t even be salty about Virgil’s mouth twitching into a self-satisfied smirk when Patton groaned at the first slow thrust.

“Oh, oh,”

“Look at me,” growled Virgil.

Their foreheads touching, Virgil's hands lifting Patton so easy, and Patton’s fingers tangled in the ink-black strands of his hair – it was all already so much, and when Patton looked through his lashes into Virgil’s half-lidded eyes he was completely gone.

“That’s it,” purred Virgil, “That’s perfect, let go for me. You’re so pretty, taking my cock like you were made for it,”

Patton didn’t look away, didn’t even try to string a sentence together from the spinning kaleidoscope of his thoughts or the wordless noises spilling from his mouth, just let Virgil guide the slow roll of their locked hips while the pressure in his groin built, until Virgil suddenly wrapped a hand around Patton’s cock and ran a firm thumb up the vein along the underside.

Patton wailed, barely registering the sound of random things in the room rattling as he spilled all over Virgil’s hand and both their stomachs. Virgil slowed, but he didn’t quite stop, watching Patton with unwavering intensity.

Patton let out a faint, strangled sob - but when Virgil did stop then, Patton gave a weak roll of his hips that made Virgil hiss something too low to make out.

“Want me to come in you?” Virgil asked, “You wanna come on my cock again, for me to fuck you until you can’t think about anything else?”

Nodding desperately, Patton groaned when Virgil shifted back for a different angle, squeezed Patton’s hips like a vice, and thrust up so hard one of Patton’s hands flew up to brace himself against the headboard.

And now he couldn’t speak or understand what Virgil was saying, couldn’t think about anything but the sunspots of overstimulation and the feeling of Virgil pounding up into him, his chilly hand still stroking Patton’s half-hard cock and the way Virgil was looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Love you,” gasped Patton, cutting off whatever he’d been babbling before, “Oh, I love you, I love you so much,”

Hips stuttering, Patton felt Virgil’s breath hitch across his lips.

“I love you, too,” he gasped, fingers starting to dig restlessly, “Fuck, you’re perfect. You’re so beautiful, always coming so pretty for me,”

The pressure was building once more, even as Patton’s cock was barely hard again. He nodded, too far gone to kiss his boyfriend properly but pressing their gasping mouths together anyway.

“Perfect,” Virgil moaned, and god he meant that, didn’t he? Meant it and believed it – Patton’s heart felt too big and his skin felt too tight, like he was gonna shake apart completely in Virgil’s arms until he was just spinning little dots like dust motes in a beam of light.

Virgil’s hips stuttered; he laced his fingers through Patton’s hair, pulled his head back with a sudden yank and bit Patton’s throat, and Patton whited out completely, groaning weakly as he came again with Virgil spilling inside him.

It took a while for him to come out of it, lying on his side and tucked up against Virgil’s chest, the fluffy comforter pulled over both of them. Virgil was pressing feather-soft kisses all over his face, and a couple to his throat that Patton realized were laced with that soothing numbness.

Patton flicked him halfheartedly.

“No lidocaine kisses,” he muttered sleepily, “You know I like them,”

“It’s only a little,” huffed Virgil.

“Hmm, nope,” said Patton with a little pop to the ‘p,’ grinning up at him.

Virgil rolled his eyes, kissing Patton’s lips instead.

Patton prodded gently at his own neck, humming at the fresh sting.

“You got me good,” he purred.

Virgil bit the inside of his cheek, turning a little pink and clearly trying not to laugh.

“I am venomous, you know,” he said dryly, “You could pretend to be nervous,”

Patton whined a little.

“I need at least ten minutes before you start being all… spooky-sexy again,”

Virgil choked on a laugh.

“Before I start being what?”

“Oh, you know exactly what I’m talking about, you faker-”

“Do I? You’ll have to elaborate,” teased Virgil.

Patton whacked his shoulder gently.

“Yes, you do,” he laughed.

“Hmm, maybe,” smiled Virgil, “You and your ‘magical lover’ kink,”

Patton squawked, shoving Virgil away when he started cackling. He grabbed the pillow behind him and started thumping it against Virgil’s chest.

“It! Is! Not! A kink, you goof, you all are magic-”

“Pat! Okay, mercy, mercy, I give-”

“Damn straight you give,” said Patton, but he was pretty sure it didn’t really have the full effect because he was still very much laughing. He flopped down on top of the pillow, still resting on Virgil’s chest.

Virgil laid his hand on Patton’s back, running his fingertips in light circles. Sighing happily, Patton snuggled a little closer, leaning into Virgil’s hand when it trailed up to card through his hair.

“I love you,” said Virgil.

Patton smiled.

“I love you, too,”

Someday, Patton would figure out a way to explain it. That it wasn’t really just that Virgil – or Logan and Roman, for that matter, were powerful, but more that they were powerful and his. Dangerous, yes – but never dangerous to him.

But for now, he just scooted back up to tuck his face into Virgil’s neck, pulling his boyfriend’s arms around him and settling in with a happy sigh.

Virgil started humming, low and never looping, and Patton smiled.

---

ko-fi

[oh-solas-mio]

This is an edit of a screenshot of my Lavellan, Silvhen. It both inspired and was inspired by a late chapter in my long fic wip. Set many years after Trespasser. For a prompt fill: number 11 on List 68 by @dafan7711 - thank you for tagging me! I’m still lame at figuring out how to link back to people, but I promise I’ll figure it out!

Excerpt:

“What’s that?” The hunt had been so long. The grief so great. But Silvhen’s eyes were sharp as they were haunted, and they had not found him yet.

The Warden bent down and retrieved the muddy scrap half-hidden on the ground. It was thicker than paper, but not as stiff. Canvas?

“There’s something on it... writing... and a face?” He handed the limp scrap to Silvhen to examine, and saw her face whiten just in time to catch her as she crumpled.

“Chargers!” Blackwall’s roar brought Dalish and Grimm running. “Harts and horses, at once!” They bounded away, not wasting even a beat. He pulled Silvhen up and spoke low near her ear. “Time to go home, Inquisitor. Enough now,” he said as she protested.

They were quick with their mounts, genuine fear hastening their movements. Had she ever been quite that white? The unspoken question passed between them in their darting glances. The ride back to Skyhold felt interminable for every member of the group except Silvhen. For Silvhen, it felt like falling, like sliding down a cliff face she’d spent a day trying to climb.

Silvhen was back a night and a day before she could face the small scrap they had found on the foreign moor. She recognized it as a kind of oilcloth, the kind that could be painted on. Solas had shown her... dreary, dragging afternoons when Skyhold was pelted with sleet and rain were spent in the yellow-warm light of the rotunda, poring over tomes assigned to her by Dorian and learning the many tools and techniques Solas used in his art. Her hand fisted suddenly as she lurched forward, pain wracking her core.

She could no longer tell if the pain was still her heart breaking, or the poison of the Anchor spreading through her.

Silvhen shoved the pain from her mind and focused on the table in front of her. Steeling herself, she slowly unfolded the stiff cloth. Her eyes widened, filled with tears.

It was her.

It was her, the way she looked at The Winter Palace that first time. Solas was the only one who could have painted her like that.

She blinked hard to clear the tears and realized there was, as Blackwall had said, some writing. It was devastatingly familiar, the letters flattened and a little stretched, as though he had to write quickly to keep up with his thoughts.

Silvhen still found handwriting tricky to read, but every fiber of her being was focused on the task. The words were old-fashioned, the phrasing unfamiliar to her. She channeled the ever-present voices that she had gained from the Vir-Abelasan, whispering back to them the intricate words before her.

Eager voices called in their strange whispers, clamouring to add to her wisdom.

“Mi’nas’sal’in… he suffers… The knife again in my soul…”

“Tel! Di’ana! … Mi’nas’sal’in tu… tu… Still, the knife in my soul again, always, still…”

Silvhen held her head in her hands, her gorge rising, her stomach wracking.

“No, no, no,” she whimpered as the wail began to rise up within her. He wasn’t supposed to suffer like this. “Solas,” she cried out sharply. He was suffering without her, suffering because of her… he was lost, lost, lost… dimly, she caught the sound of running footfalls and she sank to her knees, her heart searing within her, the voices swirling in her head echoed her: lost, lost, he’s lost… he suffers…

The door slammed open and familiar hands reached for her, familiar voices barked orders beside her, but they sounded so far away to her. Her mind was so far away. Not struggling to her feet at Skyhold, but gripping her wild hart with her knees as it thundered over the moors where the picture had been found. In her mind, she thought only of cresting the next rise so she could scour the slopes behind it, and behind them, and behind even them until she found him.

Blackwall and Cullen half-carried Silvhen towards her quarters while Josie snapped out orders to the staff and called for messengers.

In the sudden quiet of the room, Sera went to the table and smoothed out the oilskin which had been crumpled once again. She stared at the uncanny likeness on the cloth, the scrawled Elvhen.

“Oh, frig,” she said.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “Ethanol”

Hope you guys enjoy, feel free to send me messages, comments, critiques, ideas, and prompts :)

“So, do you guys mind telling me where we’re going?”

Sitting in the back seat of the human vehicle, snug inside his test tube he watched as Captain Vir’s three brothers exchanged grins turning down another long-dark roadway as the last rays of the setting sun sunk behind the mountains.

Today had been cold, very cold, but sunny. The distant star had lit the snow on fire making it nearly impossible to look at as it sparked and winked from out the window. Krill still couldn’t fathom how human survived on such a hostile planet, but to each his own he supposed.

They pulled up another roadway, “Little brother, it has come to our attention that we have committed an egregious oversight of brotherly protocol.”

Vir tapped his fingers against his arm impatiently, “And, what is that?”

They turned up another street lit on either side by glittering storefronts and a single glowing neon sign.

Vir glanced out the window and groaned, “No guys, seriously.”

The car pulled into a parking lot, “Yes seriously, come on, last time you were home for an extended period of time, you weren’t old enough to drink.”

Thomas, the second youngest brother, elbowed him playfully in the ribs, “And, I hear ladies drink free on Saturdays.”

Vir moaned and dropped his head against the seat in front of him.

Jeremy turned around, “Come on little bro, don’t tell me you’re still afraid of girls.”

Vir crossed his arms angrily, “I am not AFRAID of girls. I just…..”

“Just what? Come on Adam, have you ever even kissed a girl?”

He crossed his arms, “You know in all the commotion of, I don’t know, being famous I completely forgot.”

They eyed him from the front seat, “How about guys because we can…”

Vir glowered from his spot in the back seat, “I want to make out with another guy as much as I want to make out with you, and I would rather eat off my other foot than kiss you.”

Krill watched confusedly from the back seat. He didn’t know what a lot of these words meant. Drinking clearly meant something more than its usual meaning, and he wasn’t particularly familiar with making out or kissing. No one had bothered to explain that to him. Though the indication that human females might be here made him curious. As far as he knew, humans didn’t have a mating season, so he wasn’t exactly sure how the two groups met each other.

Jeremy popped open his door flooding the car with light, and with protesting Vir was dragged from the car with Krill in tow. “If mom finds out what we are doing, than we are so dead.”

David frowned at him, “You’re not going to go n’ tattle on us, are you.”

Vir locked his lips angrily shut and followed his brothers into the warm- stuffy and mildly cramped room. The volume was raised to a dull roar as music played in the background, and humans laughed raucously. Vir set down the container and let Krill out. Krill kept at the man’s feet as they moved across to the bar through a sea of bodies.

All around humans held drinks. They were louder and even more aggressive than usual.

Was their coordination off?

The oldest brother Jeremy leaned himself up against the bar. Vir followed with a grimace sliding in next to his brother and helping Krill to stand on a stool. By now they had attracted the attention of most of the bar, and the room suddenly went silent. “Hey, Adam.” An older man waved at them from across the room. Vir grimaced and gave a small wave. The man turned to the rest of the bar, “Well don’t just stand there goggle-eyed, clap for the man. Not every day you get to thank a man for his service in a space war.”

The bar erupted in sudden cheers, and Vir grimaced even harder a tinge of red sneaking into his neck. Krill examined the humans close by picking out the females. One of them smiled at Vir from down the bar. The red on his neck rocketed up into his face, and he turned away hurriedly.

“Captain? What is this place?”

Instead of the Captain, Jeremy answered, “This my fine four-legged friend, is an establishment of debauchery and good times.” The bar tender had moved across to where they were standing.

“Four Flaming Dr. Peppers please.”

Vir rolled his eyes, “Come on Jeremy. Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“Yes, while we’re sober.”

The bartender eyed them, “You’re not going to try to drink it WHILE it’s on fire are you?”

Jeremy frowned, “it’s like you think I’m stupid or something.”

The man shook his head alright. He came back with his tools and krill watched mesmerized as the man filed tiny glasses with various liquids and then a larger glass about halfway. He didn’t expect what happened next as he began lighting the surface of the small glasses on fire. He jumped back a bit nearly falling off the bar stool but Vir steadied him. The female humans were still watching from the side and Vir seemed to be trying very hard to ignore them.

By the time the drinks were ready the man seemed desperate for a distraction. Together the brothers lifted the flaming shots into the air as a toast, extinguishing the flame and dropping them into the larger cups before downing the contents in a single go. Krill looked on in shock and horror.

Why did humans always have to light things on fire? It seemed excessive and very unnecessary.

They dropped the glasses back onto the counter with the older brother ordering another round of drinks.

“How do you light in on fire?” Krill wondered, only to learn that the drinks contained ethanol, which was actually a type of poison that could cause severe change in mental status in humans as the body desperately tried to rid itself of the poison. Symptoms were supposed to include confusion, reduction in motor function, blackouts, upset stomach, and a lack of reasoning sills.

The humans were drinking poison to celebrate?

As the night grew darker, this only became more and more clear. The four human brothers slowly grew louder, more rowdy and less coordinated. Krill was nearly knocked off his stool on more than one occasion. As the shortest, Thomas was the first to exhibit slurred speech, flirting hopelessly with the group of humans down the bar. They laughed at him, and allowed for his antics, but he was much too drunk for them to interact with him.

An already animated person, Vir grew even more animated with reduced brain function. By then he had a small group of people gathered around him as he old stories of his exploits in space. Krill was pretty sure most of it was heavily exaggerated, as he didn’t recall any twenty foot tall alien pirates that had attempted to take their ship. However, inebriation didn’t make him any better with the female humans, and as soon as one sidled close, he nearly fell off his chair, and made some lame excuse about needing to pee before stumbling away towards the bathroom.

Krill kept his spot on his stool. The bartender leaned against the counter next to him and in that curious way that humans had, he offered krill a drink, and asked him where he was from. Krill declined the drink, but the human seemed to have all his senses intact.

In fact many of the humans came up to talk with krill. It was a terrifying and fascinating experience. All the filters and locks a human kept on themselves was completely gone under the influence of alcohol. They said the stupidest things and asked the dumbest of questions.

The night was going mostly fine, until one of the humans approached. He was large, and he was sloshed, and he was mad. He started by immediately jabbing a finger at krill “Alien scum.” He slurred, “Go back to space where you belong. We don’t want you here, illegal.”

Krill pressed himself back against the bar, “I…. I don’t.”

The man ignored him and stalked closer jabbing a finger at him, “Earth should never’ve joined the gala’tic ‘lliance. Alien filth.”

He spit towards krill who barely dodged out of the way.

And suddenly Vir was there standing between the two of them, “Back off.” He growled fighting against the slur in his own voice. Krill backed onto the bar, and the bar tender hesitantly moved towards them.

The man jabbed a finger into Vir’s chest, “This is your fault. You brought those alien ****S here.”

Vir slapped the man’s hand aside, “Don’t touch me.” He growled

The man sneered at him, and jabbed his finger towards him harder, “And what are you going to do, gimpy.” He glanced around him towards krill, “I’m comin’ fer you next.”

And then Vir clocked him in the jaw.

Krill yelped, and was swing behind the bar by the bartender as the room erupted into chaos. Vir was only able to land the one good punch before things went right to hell.

One of the man’s other friends must have noticed, and came to help his friend. The drunken brawl escalated as Vir was thrown to the floor with a hard sock to the cheek, and his brothers came to his aid. Screaming and yelling defined the room as Krill hid behind the bar watching as the room became the whirling blades of a meat grinder.

The bartender had a phone in his hands seconds later, and before they knew it, the room was bathed in blue and red flashing lights.

No less than four uniformed humans came marching into the room. Krill was stunned and in admiration as the fearless humans broke up the brawling pairs on by one throwing them onto the floor, using energy cuffs and shackles. One man was forced into a spinal block paralyzing him to the floor as he yelled profanities at the uniformed peacekeepers.

Vir, Jeremy, Thomas and David were the last to be extracted from their fight. Vir looked very close to passing out with a black eye. One of the other brothers had bleeding knuckles, and all of them were very very drunk.

Angry yelling ensued as the officers tried to figure out who had attacked first.

A quick look at the security camera showed that while Vir had thrown the first punch, the other man had made aggressive contact beforehand. Krill and the bartender put in their two cents as the four brothers sat on the floor with the rest of the crowd, cuffed in energy restraints. The man who had made the aggressive move was still yelling, and that may have helped to make him appear more the aggressor.

“Sorry…. Officer.” Vir slurred, “I…. “Shake his head, “Are we going to jail?”

The lead officer paused, ‘No, not today, but only because you haven’t given us any additional trouble, however, I AM going to do something potentially worse than that.”

The brothers looked worried and confused.

From his pocket, the officer withdrew his cellphone and dialed a number. He had to wait a good few minutes before, “Hello, Mr. Vir….”

The brothers immediately began protesting begging the cop to take them to jail. Krill was fascinated from where he stood by the bar.

“Yes, I have your boys here….. yeah, involved in a drunken bar fight…. Yeah it know its 12:30. You can take them, or I can….. I just thought you might want to deal with them yourself…. Yeah…. Yeah…. No, they’ll be waiting for you.”

By then the brothers had gone very, very silent heads hanging low as they waited. The rest of the drunken group was uncovered and sent off home before a car door slammed shut outside. The brothers cringed down as Mr. Vir stormed inside wearing a winter coat, blue striped pajamas, and a pair of his work boots. Dark purple bags sagged under his eyes as he marched up to his progeny.

Krill scooted behind the bar filled with sudden fear upon seeing the look in the man’s eyes. Even more afraid than he had been during the fight.

“You ABSOLUTE MORONS waking your mother and I up in the middle of the night for your shenanigans You absolutely DISGRACEFUL useless bag of ingrates.” This continued for a long while individually laying into them before finishing with Vir, “And you,” is voice grew quiet, “I thought you knew better, after all you’ve done, after what you represent, and here you are. Sitting on a bar floor drunk…. Your mother and I are.” He paused, “Very disappointed.”

The room was dead silent. Krill had no real desire to come out at that moment. It’s one thing to have a human attack you or yell at you or even each other.

But the most painful thing a human can do to you, or each other, is to express their disappointment.