#warning for gore

[weirdlet]

Hoo boy- that was a Session.  Last time we fought a bunch of skeletons- this time we found out where they came from.  The little village where the cultists’ dreadnought was anchored, where Maeve the paladin’s father had lived, and died, was empty- and the *stench* clued us in before we could even see. There was the skeleton- don’t get pedantic, just go with it- of a gigantic shark in the middle of the village, wrapped in- what can only be described as viscera.  Meat and skin and tendons and just- whatever’s left of a body when the bones have extracted themselves and walked away.  But Carver- lucky or unlucky as he might be- caught on to one important fact. None of the bodies that had been formed into this monstrosity were those of children.  Maeve said there were about five kids that she knew of, and so we knew we had prisoners or hostages somewhere- and that’s when the shark started to move.

The shark started to move, and a sahaugain blademaster came out of the cave system in the hill to challenge us, and wasn’t that a fun one.  Fortunately the shark was vulnerable to Turn Undead, and the blademaster was not immune to Blindness, nor Grease, nor a good solid knee-cappin’.

From there we went into the caves- Maeve knew this cave system from having grown up here, and after we closed one entrance with mold-earth we split, one healer per group, and went in the other two.  The sahaugain leader had the five kids tied up with enormous shark-egg cases attached to them- threatened to say the word and have them absorbed into Sudden Swarm Of Baby Sharks if we didn’t calm down and have a polite conversation.  Alan the revenant of Alistair pulled a fancy move and dove through the air, taking the kids with him, and we proceeded to clean house.  Carver mostly healed from a distance, but it *did* help, and after we got the monsters dead and the kids huddled up in some blankets with warm drinks and gentle reassurances, we prised open the giant clamshell that the leader had been using as a throne and found an enormous black pearl. We left the kids as safe as we could, then paddled our way out to the skeletal dreadnought that was floating in the cove.  There was a scout flying circles overhead on a roc, a giant skeletal figurehead on the front of the ship, and a few scattered cultists up top.  Our sneakier magical-type Sorianna slipped in through a poorly-latched gunport, disguised herself as a cultist, and got in to look around, finding the powder magazine, a whole (skeleton) crew sitting inert at the galley oars, and a couple of orcs and wereboars who paid her their respects as an Anchorite.  

It was there that she found a half-elf imprisoned in a cage, weeping about being too tired to sing anymore, and started getting the whole story, which was relayed via telepathic link.  So it turns out, the ship is powered by a death knight of some kind, a fallen paladin who served Tyr and showed mercy to the wrong people, and got cursed for his troubles- doubtless there is a longer story there, but moving on- and is only grudgingly allowing the Talos cultists to use the ship if they provide companionship in the form of singing for him.  That’s the key to this whole thing.  He’s in control of the boat- and only so long as he’s happy is anything alive aboard it allowed to keep living.

Sorianna, in her cultist disguise, plays up the indignant cruelty and says ‘I’ll soon have this one singing again- just hand me over those keys.”  And it WORKS.  So she’s working with the half-elven singer to try and persuade the death knight haunting the boat to get SUPER upset with the people making him go places and do things.  

Meanwhile, up top, on getting the ‘Go’ signal, Trinidad RIPS the giant skeleton figurehead off the front of the boat, and skips it twice over the water.  It HAD been looking at us and starting to make reaching motions with its halberd, but you’re just not beating that angry tortle barbarian strength, bud.  This skeleton honest to god thinks better of it and just swims off.  Just ‘nope’.  They’re not paying it enough.

Alan has been hiding in the shadows of the stair between top and middle deck, and when the scout with the roc lands and points out to the cultists that there are two intruders standing on the rocks nearest the boat, plain as day, he pulls a MASSIVE sneak attack- and uses it to wound the roc so that it can’t fly away.  So we have a massive kicking, screaming bird on the deck, unable to fly away but also IN THE WAY and biting.

Some crazy shit is happening.  Carver initially tries to just take one of the weaker looking cultists, but ends up surrounded- and casts Spirit Guardians, once again surrounded and protected by a bunch of smaller spirits that look like Glory, doing a Sailor Moon thing, in a FIFTEEN FOOT RADIUS CIRCLE that catches EVERYONE UP TOP.  EVEN THE ROC.

So they’re taking 3d8 Radiant damage every round, even as some more cultists pop up from the deck and start casting things like Hold Person and ordering strong orcs to wheel the giant crossbows on the deck around and use them.  One of these is fired at the magically paralyzed Carver.

It misses.

It takes out the one person surrounding him that was next in combat and able to stab him.

There is a lot going on and a lot of enemies and we are all starting to take actual damage, but if the gods are good and the dice don’t fuck us, next time we might be able to start making some real headway of clearing out this boat.  So here’s to a rousing session next week starting in media res, and may the powers have mercy on our souls.

[eliotbaum]

I've participated in an art/lorebook about Gods, Paladins and Clerics aimed to inspire and use for TTRPG games! Its campaign is live until June 13th (2024).

Book of Devotion is a collaborative volume that showcases the work of 49 artists and writers to create new and innovative deities and devotees, each of them with their own story.

[rainbow-taishi]

'Random Anime-style story concept'

Snow White but they're a fairy tale demon fighting against the descendant of the Queen and Huntsman

+++ Bonus stuff++++

[colorful-horses]

i need to see your take on the mlp infection au trend going around tiktok

infection

[blueskittlesart]

Now that you're gone

[shepscapades]

[Part 1] [Part 2] [PART 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7]

Finally! Part 3 is here!! yippee!!! As a refresher, this takes place at the beginning of season 9, when Doc and Xisuma try to boot Etho back up after he shuts down pre-Season 8 Finale, set to the vibes of Joywave’s Destruction from DBHC Etho’s playlist! Ouguguh I’ve been looking forward to posting this part so much; it has some of my favorite shots so far… something about the grey-fade of Doc going into shock, something about the last two pages with xisuma and doc’s expressions… idk!! i really loved working on these :] Hope you’re enjoying the horrific, horrific ride!! =w=

As a partially insignificant but Special-To-Me note: Xisuma has always referred to dbhc doc as “Docm”— this is actually the first time X ever calls him “Doc.”

[sadamericanorca]

I swear tiktok waits til I’m about to go to bed to show me the worst stuff

[caffstrink]

Night Train Cupid 👼💘

[lillyosaurus]

and i’ll talk until my tongue is tied up ! ! !

[hrokkall]

DIVINE AUTOPSY

Text from a post by @bedrock-to-buildheight about angel anatomy and the physical manifestations of regret that can only be purged in a bloody vivisection.

[williamemmerson]

[Volume Warning!] This behind-the-scenes video of the mirror transition scene from Saw IV is making me lose my mind

[maxpawb]

MAKE MORE WEIRD ART NOW

[kereleos]

this guy↑ my bg3 illithid oc vox

[madokacorpse]

[nesperus]

prometheus

[teaableu]

Cyborg boy