#warnings for implied child endangerment

[newpathwrites]

Mandomera Week 2022 - Day 4

Prompts: Rescue/Mischievous

Note: This one-shot takes place in my A New Creed Universe and was written for Mandomera Week 2022.  This particular ficlet takes place very early in their romantic relationship, during Chapter 1 of How to Build a Clan.

Warnings for implied child endangerment/drowning (but no children are actually injured or in danger).

Read my Din/Omera backstory here.

Word count: ~900 words

AO3: NewPath3432

————————————————————

On Sorgan, the middle day - the intermission between finishing work at the ponds and beginning the evening preparations - was a time for leisure and relaxation.  And while helmetless evenings spent in comfortable companionship with his found family were still Din’s favorite hours, middle day had quickly taken second place.

Not long after he’d embarked on a more… affectionate… relationship with Omera (they hadn’t really put a name to it), she’d made a habit of pulling him into the barn during this resting period, when the children were distracted with second meal, slipping his helmet off as her mouth found his and hands gripped beskar plates to bring their bodies flush together.  Din never imagined he would enjoy such activities so much… but he really, really did…

 Today, though, panic - caused by a particularly mischievous girl - would interrupt their afternoon intimacies.

 Din suddenly pulled his lips away from Omera’s, cocking his ear to the side.  “What was that?”  He’d clearly heard a loud splash somewhere out in the ponds.  “I thought work was done for today…”

 A strangled call for help met their ears soon thereafter, and the puzzled look left Omera’s face as she gasped in terror.  “Winta!”

 They couldn’t move fast enough.  Din was still pulling the helmet over his head as he burst out of the barn, Omera frantically pushing behind him, desperate to ensure her daughter’s safety.

 Winta was out of the water in an instant, beskar-covered arms pulling her up with ease and depositing her in her mother’s embrace.  A concerned Grogu jumped up to wrap himself around Din’s neck, looking at his father for reassurance that everything was alright.

 “She’s ok, ad’ika.  Don’t worry.”  He kneeled down where Omera sat checking Winta for injuries, laying a hand on her shoulder in comfort as he addressed the girl - who appeared to be perfectly fine.  

 “Winta, what happened?  The water isn’t even over your head in this part of the ponds.”

 She looked up at his visor, something that looked a bit like guilt flashing on her face, maybe imperceptible to anyone else - but not to an experienced bounty hunter.  Her eyes went to the ground in front of her as she replied blandly, “I’m not sure.  I think a stem caught my foot.”

 He studied her for a moment.  She was definitely up to something.  “Well,” he replied, not without affection - because regardless of her motives here, he’d grown quite fond of the kid - “I’m glad you’re alright.  But you need to be careful around the water.”

 Winta extricated herself from her mother and turned to wrap her arms around his neck in a genuine hug.  “I will.  Thank you for rescuing me, Din.”

 Din brought a hand to the back of her head, running his fingers over her hair for a moment, making sure she knew he wasn’t angry.  “You’re welcome, kid.  I just want you safe.”

 ———————————

 The evening was a little strange.  Winta thanked Din frequently and profusely for ‘saving her life’, pointedly drawing her mother’s attention to that fact over and over again.  Meanwhile, Grogu clung to her, still traumatized by the possibility that his best friend could have been seriously hurt, and that guilt flashed again through Winta’s facial expressions each time the little green child tightened his hold on her arm.

 Din spent third meal assessing, trying to figure her out.  What was Winta really up to here?  Omera seemed to notice her daughter’s odd behavior, too, glancing sideways at Din when Winta thanked him yet again for the rescue.  She had also come to realize, after some reflection, that it didn’t altogether make sense.  Winta had lived her entire life around the water.  And how did she even manage to fall in the first place?

 The scheme began to reveal itself later that evening when Din commented offhand that he was a bit chilly due to the persistent dampness of his flight suit, and Winta made an outrageous suggestion.  Or rather… it would have been outrageous if Din and Omera didn’t already have a somewhat physically intimate relationship - something they’d not yet shared with the children.

 “Mama, you should sit with Din under the blanket to help him warm up.  It’s the least you can do after he saved my life.”

 The two adults looked at each other knowingly, Winta’s motives now obvious.  She was playing the little matchmaker.  Maybe just this once, they could play along.

 It was nice, actually, being openly affectionate, not hiding their closeness from the children, wrapped up together under a thick blanket while Winta and Grogu played on the floor nearby.  Winta would glance over at them occasionally, subtly grinning to herself.  Din couldn’t help but smile - the lengths this girl would go to make her mother happy.

 When the two kids had finally nodded off to sleep, Omera turned to Din with a smile of her own.  “I’m sure she’s very proud of herself.  Maybe we should tell them… that we’re… something.”

 “Yeah,” he replied as his forehead found hers, “It would please her, apparently.”

 Omera chuckled softly and pressed her lips to his for a moment before settling her head on his shoulder, content to stay like this awhile longer.

 Across the small hut, Winta sighed happily, closing her eyes - which had been cracked open to observe the interaction - and fell asleep dreaming of a future where her mother would be safe and happy with their Mandalorian.

[a-leg-without-fear]

Flooded Red (pt.2) 🩸🌧️

get ready for some ANGST babes

Ship: Logan Howlett x Mutant!Fem!Reader 🩸

Rating: 16+

Wordcount: 2.3k

Warnings: torture, experimentation, gore, violence, cursing, electrocuting, drugging, mind control, medical equipment, implied child endangerment, ANGST

Series: Flooded Red

Groggy. You felt groggy. Tendrils of fog clouded around the edges of your mind. Swirling amongst the slow thoughts that had gathered, blurring words and images. Flashes of red, hot blood and bright lights shot through your dazed mind. A dull ache gathered at the base of your skull.

The next thing that registered was the biting cold of the metal table beneath you. Chills shook along your sore spine. You tried to adjust your cramped muscles, tried to stretch out your stiff joints.

But you couldn’t.

Your hands were fully encompassed in metal spheres. Thick iron wrapped around your wrists and encasing your fingers. You pulled at the restraints, desperation leaking into your veins. Rough metal chafed along the skin at your wrists. Rubbing and scratching and leaving the flesh raw.

Panic gripped at your racing heart. Your eyes flew open to gauge your situation. All you could see was black. Like someone had left the lights off in the middle of the night. Your gaze darted around in the darkness. Searching for something, anything. 

You couldn’t breathe. Terror spilled into the edges of your mind like ink in water. Sharp talons raked through any coherent thoughts still bouncing around in your head. Primal fear choked you. You pulled and squirmed, a wild animal struggling to be free.

Latex gloves smoothed down your bare arm. The powdered rubber pulled at your skin as thin fingers prodded at the inside of your elbow. Like five daggers stabbing into you and spurring on the feral beast clawing at your throat.

Your consciousness slipped beneath the appalling gloves, mind tracing along the miniscule veins running under twitching skin. You followed the veins through this attacker’s arm. The pointed taste of norepinephrine and acetylcholine coated your tongue. This person was focused, relaxed.

You zeroed-in on the flow of acetylcholine through this person’s veins. Tracing the chemical back to its source. The hypothalamus. That small, ever important part in the center of one’s brain. The main coordinator of the nervous system and bodily cravings.

Like squishing a grape between your fingers, you crushed this person’s hypothalamus with a single thought. You could taste fresh blood leaking into the air, the coppery scent filling your sinuses and satiating the gnawing dread in your gut. The gloves running along your skin disappeared.

Pride licked up your throat, satisfaction seeping into your pores at the absence of latex on your skin.

Torturous electric pulses zipped along your skin. Shocks emanating from the metal table below you and the iron clasped on your hands. Excruciating lightning coursed through your body and made your back arch. Your arms tugged at their restraints, legs scrambling for leverage, head shaking back and forth.

As instantaneous as the shocks had started, the pain ceased. Gulping breaths filled your strained lungs. Sparks of the remaining electricity under your skin made you wince.

“Let’s not kill the techs, shall we? Each corpse garners a mountain of paperwork and a devastated family.”

Your unseeing eyes searched in the void for the source of the voice. It sounded familiar, masculine. A slight southern drawl laced in each word.

“There we are. Calmed down?” 

Recognition hit you in the chest like a freight train. Your lips curled, a feral snarl seeping through your bared teeth.

“You,” you growled, malice and pure hatred filled your mind like sand in an hourglass. This man attacked your home. Hurt your kids. Threatened your Logan. Anger like you had never known washed over you like a raging inferno.

“Yes, me. Now that we are familiar, are we in agreement?” he asked. His voice was loud, projected, crackling. Like it came from a large speaker somewhere to your right. 

“Fuck you,” you hissed. You tugged furiously at your restraints. Bestial rage burned away at all cognition. Flames scorched your mind and sent you into a fucking frenzy. Your teeth gnashed, chest heaved, muscles tightened.

“And here I was, thinking you’d be more cordial than the Wolverine. No matter. Nothing a little behavioral management won’t solve.”

Your body jolted as electricity streaked through your bones. You cried out, jaw clenching and fists tightening in their iron coffins.

This round of electrocution was blessedly short. You heaved, stomach lurching and heart thumping rapidly behind your ribcage, when the shocks had stopped.

“Are. We. In. Agreement?” the man asked again, annunciating every word. You panted, skin glistening in sweat, throat constricting and nearly choking you. The man sighed, “Bleeder, I’ll need an answer. Will you kill any more of my employees?”

You snarled at your old moniker, then thunked your head down on the table in defeat, “No.”

“Good. Now, since that’s settled, I’m going to have Maria draw your blood. Do your best to refrain from killing her. She has two sons at home.”

Powdered latex rubbed at your elbow again. You gritted your teeth, molars grinding against one another, as you tried to restrain the whirling rage inside you. Shaking fingers felt along your skin. Pressing deep into the flesh now and then, looking for that prominent vein that ran through the crook of your arm.

Cool liquid brushed across your skin. A smooth cloth doused in alcohol rubbing and sanitizing your arm. The acrid scent filled your sinuses, making you flinch. Every nerve ending in your body was ringing alarms. Constant fear flooded your mind as the seconds ticked by.

A tight pinch pierced your skin and you nearly went back on your word. Almost lashing out like a cornered, rabid animal. The needle pushed under your skin and settled in your vein. Foreign, metal, cold, bad. It shouldn’t be in your arm. You should remove it, kill whoever stuck it in you.

No. This wasn’t you. You didn’t mindlessly kill people. No matter how angry you were, you would always try to find a solution. Pushing down your own feelings for the sake of peace. The fiery hatred burning inside was a feeling you often tried to ignore, tried to suppress, if not for you then for those you cared about.

Memories floated through your mind like leaves on the surface of a pond. Logan laughing at something stupid you said, his eyes crinkling at the edges. Charles giving you a scathing review of a book he’d recently read. Jean and Scott cuddled together, tucked away behind a corner in the foyer.

Your friends. Your colleagues. Your family.

A trembling breath passed between your lips. The feral rage churning inside you had simmered down to a low heat. Just barely warming the edges of your mind in anger. You swallowed a grief-covered lump that had gathered in your throat.

~~~~

Colonel William Stryker watched your blood being drawn with mild curiosity. Like watching an animal in a vet’s office have their blood work done. You were restrained, arms bound and eyes covered, with a terrified Maria standing over you. Her trembling hands clutched at your arm as the red liquid flowed through the rubber tube.

A thick pane of glass separated William from you. Elevated by at least a story, Stryker stood in the observation deck. He adjusted how his dark jacket fell across his midriff. Bright lights hanging from the ceiling reflected white circles on his glasses. 

The control panel sitting before him glowed and quietly hummed. Switches connected to the electric interface of your restraints. Red button to shock you, blue button to sedate you, green button to release you. Ingenious design, if you asked him.

Sharp heels clicked on the concrete floor next to him. Yuriko, black suited and hair slicked back, moved to stand next to William. Her hands were clutched behind her back, chrome nails just barely shimmering in the light. Silver eyes looked between William and your writhing body below.

“Is Xavier ready?” he asked, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Yuriko, ever the silent one, gave him a quick nod. William took one last glance down at you, a spot of pity bubbling in his stomach, then turned away from the glass.

Soldiers with varying degrees of combat armor and armaments lined the halls of the dam. Each giving William a polite nod as the colonel breezed past. Stryker barely acknowledged the formal greetings, periphery only just catching glimpses of their faces. They were unimportant.

A hiss sprouted from the metal door as it slid open. Chrome, unpolished, with a clouded window near the top. He grimaced in disgust. Everything in this accursed dam was filthy. Not a place for a man of his repute to continue his work, and certainly not structurally sound enough to house the several mutants he now possessed.

The room he stepped into was much like every other room in the Alkali Lake Dam. Concrete entombing him on all sides, bright lights hanging from the ceiling, spots of equipment and machinery placed near the doors for easy access.

Green light glowed from sconces set low on the curved walls. Wires and tools suspended from the ceiling hung in alcoves like swinging corpses. A steel table and chair sat in front of one of those alcoves. Stryker moved to the table, double checking his pen was still in his breast pocket, then turned to face the current object of his desire.

Charles Francis Xavier. In all of his bald, old, crippled glory. His posh blue suit and silk gold tie reflected the white spotlight directed at him. A chrome device sat on the mutant’s wrinkled brow. Steel, magnetization, and electricity working together to cage his mind inside that thick skull of his.

Stryker chuckled under his breath at the sight. The great Professor X. All powerful telepath who could control the entire world with a single thought. Reduced to a hunched man in a wheelchair.

Xavier stirred, head beginning to raise from its lowered position. Stryker kept an air of indifference on his face while clutching at the pen in his jacket. When the mutant’s eyes met the colonel’s, William threw the professor a proud smile. Understanding passed through Xavier’s perplexed expression.

“William…”

“Please, Xavier, don’t get up,” Stryker said, cutting the mutant off. A chuckle threatened to leave his chest at his own quip.

Quiet whirring surrounded Xavier as the man folded in on himself. Eyes squeezing shut, shoulders twitching. 

“I call it the neural inhibitor,” William explained. He watched the mutant struggle under the steel cap, then continued while tapping his forehead, “It keeps you out of here.”

The whirring stopped as Xavier’s eyes opened. Beady blues took in the space around the cripple. Wrists bound in leather straps, suit roughed up at the edges, Stryker and Yuriko standing before him.

“What have you done with Scott?” Xavier asked, voice thin and edged in pain.

“Don’t worry. I’m just giving him a little re-education. Him and that little pet project of yours,” Stryker replied. Xavier tensed in the seat of his wheelchair.

“You don’t mean-”

“Why yes, I do. The little weapon of mass destruction y’all have taken to calling ‘Vampire,’” William said with undeniable confidence. He leaned back on the concrete wall next to him as he said, “Of course, we both know she’ll never truly leave behind her old name. What was it?”

“William-”

“No, that’s not it. ‘Bleeder.’ Yeah, that’s the one,” Stryker mused. Xavier’s jaw clenched, withered hands curling into fists. The mutant eyed the colonel with sparking anger burning in his blue eyes.

“She hasn’t used that calling card in quite some time,” Xavier said slowly, voice coming out measured and restrained. Stryker huffed an incredulous laugh.

“Just because the lion is trapped in a zoo doesn’t change its nature. Savagery can’t be swayed by giving the lion a cushy home and ample playmates. Sooner or later, professor, she will snap again. And from the way she mosied up to me in that mansion of yours, I’d say she’s one breath away from tearing the whole country to pieces.”

~~~~

Logan silently followed the group of teenagers in front of him up the driveway. Early morning sun rippled through the trees and onto Bobby’s family home. Gentle breezes made the grass sway, the sounds of cars starting down the road echoed across damp asphalt, freshly-mowed grass a few doors down floated through the air.

His mind was a fucking hurricane. Spinning and twisting and raging to where it was hard to tell which way was up. Glimpses of the events from the night before rolled through his head like peals of thunder.

You were gone. You were right fucking in front of him, scared eyes meeting his, and then you were gone. Obscured by the frosted blue ice Bobby had conjured. Logan had pounded on that ice until his hands bled, desperate to reach you, desperate to see your eyes again, desperate to get you away from that man.

Stryker.

Wrath boiled in his chest when the name crossed his mind. Logan had no memory to connect to the name, no instance of ill-intent, nothing that would link this deep-seated hatred.

Well, other than the fact that the guy had raided the fucking mansion and took you from Logan. Severed from his life like a missing limb.

He barely registered the climb up the front porch steps. Nor the conversation passing between Rogue, John, and Bobby. Logan’s mind swirled with the agony of losing you, the confusion surrounding this whole scenario, the unbridled fury licking at that primal part of his mind.

His hand subconsciously slipped the front door shut behind his group. White-suburban walls and decorations hit Logan’s downturned vision like he’d wandered into a Target. He brushed away his racing thoughts to verify that the door was locked.

Logan would get you back. He’d stop Stryker, free the kidnapped mutants, and get you back. Even if he had to climb fucking Mount Everest. He wouldn’t rest until you were safe, held against his chest and tucked under the covers in your bed.

thoughts? comments? concerns? theories? let me know!!!

leg's taglist: @hazydespair @spideybv28 @fantasticalartist @autisticnutcase @captainwans @ayamenimthiriel @tsukiko26 @up-l4te-4t-n1ght

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Sep 12th

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1. In the mood for wangxian fics where:

A) Mo Xuanyu and We Wuxian are siblings/besties or any platonic relationship which makes them very close a la siblings (anything goes except fics set in CQL verse)

B) Dragonji AND dragonxian fics (if smutty then bottomxian AND non cql only)

C) werewolf wangxian (if smutty then bottomxian AND non-cql only)

D) childhood friends to lovers/growing up together/wei wuxian grows up in gusu [any AU/universe] (if smutty then bottomxian AND non cql only)

E) Soulmate AU's where elements like soulmate marks, strings, etc or any other obvious signs of having a soulmate exist (if smutty then bottomxian AND non cql only)

F) wangxian age difference fics...how much or less the age difference is doesnt matter (older lwj, if smutty then bottomxian AND non cql only)

G) what if/no war canonverse AUs (if smutty then bottomxian AND non cql only)

Thank you for all you do Mods!! <3 @stellatosparkle

1A)

what builds a home by Stratisphyre (T, 45k, WangXian, MY & WWX, Canon Divergence, Adopted WWX, POV Multiple, warning for JGS behaving exactly as expected, child endangerment, Brother Feels, Minor Character Death, [Podfic] Cold read of "what builds a home" by Stratisphyre by KeriArentikaiPods (KeriArentikai))

1D)

soft-hearted by sarahyyy (G, 6k, wangxian, alternate universe, childhood friends, hurt/comfort, getting together, first kiss, wedding fluff)

When we were small by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 7k, LXC & LQR & LWJ, LQR & WWX, WangXian, LQR & JFM, Modern, Kid Fic, Good Uncle LQR, Neurodivergent LWJ, Baby LWJ, Baby WWX, Parenthood, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POV LQR, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

1E)

🔒 Bright the Day We Met by ereshai (G, 1k, WangXian, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, POV Outsider, Fluff, Supportive LXC, Soulmates)

Bleachwhite Linen by MonocerosRex (T, 44k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, JYL & WWX, JC & WWX, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, Modern, Soulmates, not the traditional kind of soulmates exactly, Hospitals, Fluff, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Touch-Starved, lwj and wwx are the softest husbands and they aren’t even together yet, Getting Together, Marriage Proposal, Sibling Bonding, handwaving medical procedure and magical systems, worldbuilding is for chumps i’m here for the sugar, Sickfic, or more like convalescence fic but that isn’t a tag, POV Multiple, Family Feels, Family Fluff, lxc is a troll and he ships wangxian so hard, wwx deserves and gets gets hugs, Sharing a Bed, Hair Washing, Sleepy Cuddles, Hugs, JYL is a queen)

it goes like this by moonsteps (T, 15k, WangXian, College/University, Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Humor, Fluff, Oblivious WWX, in which wwx is jealous… of himself, some drunken LWJ shenanigans, someone pls save JC, two idiots in love)

leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, Soulmates, with a lil twist, Eventual Happy Ending, Music, Orchestra, [Podfic] Leading Tone by silencemostofall by Beria1021)

pastel by antebunny (G, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Soulmates, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Self-Esteem Issues, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unrequited Love, but not actually, no courtesy names)

(( 💖 nothing you confess by PorcupineGirl (T, 31k, WangXian, Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, POV Alternating, Golden Core Reveal, Depressed WWX, WWX Has PTSD, JC & LWJ Friendship, friendship may be too strong a word more like allies who are gonna love the shit outta post-burial-mounds WWX whether he likes it or not, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery) It is cql only tho, I didn't realize before adding the rec, that said I'll let it there because I know other people might find the fanfic interesting 😓 ))

1F)

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Suicide of a Parent, References to Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, References to Anti-Depressant Medications, Escort Service, Loneliness, Everybody’s Abandonment Issues, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Moving In Together, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Hopeful Ending, Recovery, References to Escorting/Sex Work but No Actual Escorting/Sex Work)

Wangji's Beautiful Stranger by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 47k, WIP, WangXian Modern AU, Soulmates, older lwj, younger wwx, Minor NieLan, LWJ is So Whipped, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Modern: No Powers, Not Jiang Family Friendly)

Like stones on an unseen board by Vir_Abelasan (Not rated, 11k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Dark LWJ, Older LWJ, Teacher LWJ, dark twin jades, Age Difference, Manipulation, Protective LWJ, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Corporal Punishment, Relatively canon-typical abusive Jiangs, WWX Get a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Not Jiang Clan Friendly)

1G)

For you by 10thNoNamePerson (T, 16k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Canon Divergence, No War AU, Teen Wangxian, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous WWX, Soft WangXian, No Sunshot Campaign)

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious) What if the Wen clan is too busy to attack anyone & WWX has time to think about his place in the Jiang sect

Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, WWX & WN &WQ, WWX & JYL, NHS & WWX, Canon Divergence, WWx does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Not JC Friendly, but he gets a happier ending than canon so don’t look here for bashing) What if WWX doesn't attend the Wen indoctrination

Righteous at a Cost by thunderwear (G, 21k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, no one dies, LQR finds out about WWX’s core, WWX and LQR are friends??, In My Fic?, its more likely than you think, LWJ in the bg like whats happening?, Fluff, WWX goes to Gusu, Mutual Pining, Golden Core Reveal) What if LQR finds out about WWX's missing core (note: this one is tagged as both mdzs & cql, but I don't recall any specific cql stuff in there

the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships (M, 40k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Mutual Pining, Golden Core Reveal, Happy Ending) What if WWX realises who the mysterious 'maiden' who kissed him is (also tagged as both mdzs & cql, but I don't recall if there's any cql stuff in there)

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts) What if WWX doesn't take WN with him to Lanling (also tagged as both mdzs & cql, but I don't recall if there's any cql stuff in there)

~*~

2. Hi is there any fic about wwx sleepwalking?

Mud on Your Feet by AvoOwO (Not Rated, 59k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Nightmares, Sentient Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds, Possession, Panic Attacks, Night Terrors, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Good Sibling JC, Hurt WWX, Soft WangXian, Feels, Blood and Injury, Hallucinations, Delusions, JC Loves WWX, Insomnia, Good Sibling WWX, Sleepwalking, Sleeptalking, LWJ just wants to sleep with his husband, Protective JC, WWX Sees Dead People, LJY pulls through, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses, PTSD, Post-Canon, YLLZ WWX, resentful energy, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death, WWX’s Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, WWX is tired, LWJ literally just wants to sleep with WWX again is that too much to ask for??, Soft JC, Yunmeng Siblings Feels) THE wwx sleepwalking ff

who could stay? you could stay by martyrsdaughter (G, 12k, WangXian, Meet-Cute, Modern AU, Fluff, Sleepwalking, Literal Sleeping Together, Crush at First Sight, Neighbors)

~*~

3. I'm In The Mood For a fic that embraces how much of an exquisite bitch Lan Wangji can be. "You are not qualified to speak to me", etc. Please and thank you! @aralintheobsessive

the only way out by cafecliche (T, 12k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, Post-Canon, this is one part character study, one part comedy of errors, and one part fix-it, WWX is a people pleaser in this essay I will, my event planning experience rearing its head again, Podfic Available)

🔒 The Second Jade of Lan’s late but incendiary sexual awakening by KizuKatana (E, 41k, wangxian, First Time, LWJ’s Horny Grip, LWJ does not know what hit him, and yet somehow he still realizes it before WWX, canon wangxian dynamics, college AU, LWJ starts off annoyed at WWX, But quickly discovers both his competency kink and a caretaking kink, Genius WWX)

🔒 Revenge is a Side Dish Best Served With Tea by merakily (G, 7k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Protective LWJ, Petty LWJ, Fluff and Humor)

💖 Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 11k, wangxian, protective LWJ, genius LWJ, post-canon, fluff & humor, getting together, chief cultivator LWJ)

🔒Here With Me by iamwish (T, 58k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, wwx turns this into a no war!au, Canon-Typical Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Bad Parent YZY, POV WWX, POV LWJ, POV JC, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Has PTSD, and also depression sometimes, Unreliable Narrator, (all of them)) It's a small part of the fic, but time traveller LWJ decides to befriend JC & JYL for the sake of his future husband & his thoughts on this are hilarious

~*~

4. Hi I have an itmf request! Favorite fusion-style aus? For example wangxian fic in an AtLA setting, but more obscure crossovers are fine too

To Prepare for a Hidden Knife by liverbiver9 (T, 103k, WN/WWX/LWJ, Inspired by Mr. Queen (TV), Emperor WN, Empress WWX, Trans WWX, Gender Non-Conforming WWX, Political Intrigue, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Isekai and Transmigration, Gender Identity, Slow Burn, chapter 11 rated E but entirely skippable!, Gender Exploration, Gender Changes, Female JGY, Female NHS, Scheming NHS, Scheming JGY, Trans Female JZX, JZX & LWJ Friendship, Polyamory, BAMF WN, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Romantic Comedy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Out of character WN, I mean I don’t think he’s ooc but he certainly doesn’t follow the fanon characterization)

🔒 Season of Resurrection by Pyrrti (G, 1k, WangXian, Sky: Children of the Light Fusion, POV Multiple, Pre-Relationship, Reunions, POV LSZ, POV LWJ, POV WWX)

The Weight of the World by KouriArashi (T, 67k, WangXian, XiYao, XuanLi, Pacific Rim Fusion, Robots, Monsters, robots fighting monsters, Family, Romance, Developing Relationship, Angst, (but not about the romances), Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Happy Ending)

Across the street to another life by danegen (M, 99k, WangXian, Modern AU, unleashed au Family Fluff, Set in America, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Addiction, Crime, Amnesia, Ableist, Language, another fridged mother, POV Alternating, past wwx/ofc, past wwx/omc, Medium parent YZY, A-Yuan is wwx’s biological son, Musicians, Happy Ending)

So You Accidentally Kidnapped A Qilin by Mikkeneko (T, 83k, WangXian, Juuni Kokki | Twelve Kingdoms Fusion, mdm yu’s a+ parenting, Identity Issues, Cultivator Politics, Yin Iron Poisoning, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, WWX Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Getting Together, Temporary Character Death, Happy Ending, Pacifist WWX, MXTX Big Bang 2021)

our reflections as seen (when the water stills) by chatonnerie (E, 121k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, Modern, Tokyo Ghoul Fusion, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, This is a ghoul au, but everyone is also in university, so dumb energy is peak, Gore, Body Horror, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Biting, both the goryand the horny, WWX's inability to Shut Up)

Stars bring us apart (Stars pull us together) by Sixlayerhouse (sixlayerhouse) (E, 124k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, (Vaguely) Star Trek AU, Canon-Typical Violence, Psychological Trauma, PTSD, Body modifications, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Recovery, married!wangxian)

🔒 some lovely, perilous thing by varnes (E, 24k, WangXian, Inception Fusion, Criminal Associates To Lovers, Heist, Case Fic)

🔒 and having a marvelous time by varnes (E, 108k, WangXian, Yúnmèng Siblings, Sound of Music AU, (i know!!! i know. stay with me on this.), Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Family Feels, spies to lovers???, Protective Siblings, Sometimes You Just Want Your Dads To Admit They’re Your Dads, Angst with a Happy Ending, podfic of and having a marvellous time by varnes by Spinifex)

Castle in the Wastes by ailuridae (abigailnicole) (T, 41k, wangxian, Howl’s Moving Castle fusion, personified Chenqing, canon typical violence)

🔒 Half Agony, Half Hope by queenklu (T, 105k, WangXian, LXC/JGY, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, LXC/NMJ, Jane Austen Fusion, persuasion au, Pining, Broken Engagement, Secrets, Espionage, Child Injury, Terrible Parents (YZY & JFM), Past Child Neglect)

🧡 The World We Made by updatebug (T, 80k, WangXian, Modern AU, The Old Guard fusion, Immortals, Immortal LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Junior Quartet is the best Quartet, JYL is the best, NMJ Lives, Reincarnation, The Old Guard AU, Temporary Character Death)

🔒 the red dark shifting by typefortydeductions (E, 15k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Ambiguous/Open Ending, But it will be ok, PTSD, Nightmares, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Mild Gore, Tarsus IV, mentions of medical procedures, attempting to accept the love you deserve, pangs!)

Beneath The Skin by daltoneering (E, 40k, WangXian, Fairytale Retelling, Canon Adjacent, Beauty and the Beast AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, farmer LWJ, he has a braid and the fact that everyone knows this is very important to me, Chronic Illness, (not any of the MCS), sad LWJ, LQR is in this purely as a plot device, vague background nielan, One-Sided XiYao, JGY is a real creep in this im sorry but someone had to be gaston, Dark WWX, WWX: master of crows agenda, self-worth issues like woah, Blood, Body Horror, Crows galore, this is incredibly gothic and melancholic don't @ me, Drugging, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, Anal Sex, Some questionable worldbuilding, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, (or in wwx's case), (loved), LWJ POV, please read a/n for further warnings)

I will be chasing a starlight by feyburner, sundiscus (E, 71k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Vulcan LWJ, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pon Farr, Mind Meld, Fuck Or Die, Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

5. hii this is for itmf!

I'm sure someone has already asked for this before 😅

fics which focus on, or significantly mention, lwj raising a-yuan after he gets whipped, like while being heavily injured (no wips if possible 😅)

ty! @bunnycoffeeumcat

🔒 the map of days by everythingispoetry (M, 20k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Permanent Injury, Recovery, Disability, Parenthood, Character Study, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death)

Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Not Rated, 19k, LSZ & LWJ, WangXian, dad wangji, LWJ’s Questionable Parenting Skills, Grief/Mourning, Recovery, Injury Recovery, Hopeful Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses [podfic] by someplacelikebolivia)

Inquiry by incendir (G, 10k, LSZ & LWJ, WangXian)

🔒 no new age Series by everythingispoetry (M/T, 145k, WangXian, XiYao, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Permanent Injury, Recovery, Disability, Parenthood, Character Study, Thirteen Years of WWX's Death, Growing Up, Family Dynamics, Self-Discovery, Mental Health Issues, Grief/Mourning, Families of Choice, Developing Relationship)

Meet you at a different place by tawaen (M, 57k, WangXian, Ghost General WN, Ghost WQ, Canon Divergence, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Wen Remnants Deserve Better, Sīsī Deserves Better, MXY Deserves Better, POV WQ) It's not a major part, but as soon as LWJ finds out WQ is trying to help piece together the fragments of WWX's soul, he insists on tagging along on the quest with LSZ, despite his injuries

~*~

6. In the mood for: I wonder if there is some fic where Lan Zhan dies at that cliff battle instead of Wei Wuxian. Or maybe if they both die there together. And then someone would ressurect them both. That would be really interesting to read.

💖 Regrets by antebunny (G, 37k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Time Travel, Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Angst, Explicit Descriptions of Love, and other squishy feelings, Angst with a Happy Ending) LWJ accidentally kills WWX during the fight & they both find themselves back in time during CRSA

🔒 Turnabout and Start Again by runningondreams (T, 34k, WIP, WangXian, Temporary Character Death, Role Reversal, Soulmates, Canon Divergence, Blood and Injury, SuicideI, mprisonment, Violence, Minor Character Death, Mild Gore, Pining, Identity Issues, Getting Together, Happy Ending) this is similar, LWJ isn't present for the First Siege of the Burial Mounds but due to a soulmate bond, he dies instead of WWX. 13 years later, he's resurrected. (It's a WIP and hasn't been updated since 2020, but well worth reading anyway IMO)

~*~

7. Hi! Do you have wwx and nhs friendship in comp fic? If not, i think you could consider adding that to the upcoming comp fic list (We can add it but I'll also add it here in a Itmf for you ^^ - Mod C)

Story-Shaped by lingering_song (T, 13k, NHS & WWX, wangxian, Post-Canon, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Inventor WWX, Found Family, NHS needs a new hobby, And apparently that’s spoiling his Wei-Xiong, Mentioned Character Death, Alcohol, Protective NHS, WangXian Endgame, Not JC Friendly, Not particularly gentry sects friendly overall tbh)

while covered in mud by merthurlin (T, 12k, NHS & WWX, NHS & NMJ, NHS & Wen remnants, mentioned wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, NHS goes farming and Hates It)

I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 82k, WIP, WangXian, Lan protective team, Time Travel, Past, LWJ oriented, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Soulmates, Fix-It, Jiang siblings, not jiang parents friendly, Soft LWJ, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX)

Gone Shopping by nirejseki (G, 2k, NHS & WWX, WangXian, Crack, Post-Canon, Mad Scientist WWX, Too Clever For His Own Good NHS, WWX is High INT Low Attention Span, WWX Joins the Nie Sect, Sort Of)

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence) WWX reaches out to NHS while living in the Burial Mounds

IF by Remma3760 (Not Rated, 94k, WangXian, QingJue, Aftermath of Violence, Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Fix-It of Sorts, BAMF LWJ, Golden Core Reveal) NMJ decides to give sanctuary to the Wen Remnants, so WWX & LWJ stay in the Unclean Realm & spend a lot of time with NHS

~*~

8. Hi! This is for ITMF

A) Age reversal. Like nhs is the older sibling or jyl is the youngest, etc

B) Role reversal. Like sect leader jyl, wwx is a weak cultivator, instead of jyl and jzx it was wwx and lwj who are in arrange marriage, etc

C) Personality swap. Like between yunmeng trio, etc

Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

8A)

Role Reversal series by Cosmic_Biscuit (T, 13k, NHS & NMJ, JGY/NHS, JGY & XY, NHS/WRH, Major Character Death, Age Swap, Dysfunctional Family, Murder, Necromancy, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Nightmares, Mixed Adaptation, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, One-Sided Attraction, NMJ Is This Close To Committing Murder, Assassination Plot(s), Implied/Referenced Abuse, Gallows Humor, Character Undeath, First Meetings, Fluff and Humor, Family Dynamics, NHS Stress Cooks, Pre-Relationship, Developing Relationship Protective Siblings Terminal Illnesses Implied/Referenced, Euthenasia, Angst and Feels, Murder Implications, Canonical Character Death, Politics, In Which Everything Goes To Hell, Verbal Abuse, Reunions, Assassination, Wakes & Funerals, Intrigue, Undead, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Family Issues, Sibling Rivalry, Of The One-Sided Sort, Period Typical Attitudes, Implied Favoritism, Family Drama, Baby Steps To Reconciliation, Sibling Bonding, Fluff and Angst, Sick Character)

🔒 Wooden Sabers and Paintbrushes series by East_Of_Akkala (T, 11k, NHS & NMJ, NHS & LXC, NHS & Sect Leaser Nie, Age Changes, Age Swap, Sect Leader NHS, NHS is da-ge, Onesided XiSang, Fluff, Light Angst, Brotherly Love, POV LXC, NMJ gets a birth name as a treat, Humor, Canon Divergence, Light XiSang, Light NieYao, POV NMJ, NHS gets a birth name as a treat, Nie Siblings Feels, Nie Siblings Dynamics, Scheming NHS, POV NHS, NHS-centric, Violence, Qi-Deviations, Mental Instability, Character Death)

Three Figures on Your Heart (all of them will be me) by MarsDiogenes (M, 6k, LXC/NHS, slight LWJ/NHS, WangXian, WIP, Age Swap, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort)

🔒 Nie Huaisang's Guide to Political Nonsense by Tavina (M, 58k, NHS & NMJ, NHS & WX, NHS & JGY, NHS & WQ, NHS & WRH, NHS/WX/OFC, Sect Leader Nie & NHS, NHS & LQR, Canon Divergence, NHS-centric, BAMF NHS, Scheming NHS, Nie Brothers Age Swap AU, NHS Needs a Hug, NMJ Needs a Hug, Intergenerational Trauma, Politics, Poison, Medical Conditions, Hiding Medical Issues, Chronic Pain, The Da-ge!NHS Agenda, there’s a Nie-zongzhu loose in the jianghu, NMJ & JZX Friendship Agenda, Wildly Inaccurate Qi Deviation Lore, Unconventional Relationship, Polyamory Negotiations, Age Swap, Mental Health Issues, Entire Nie Sect Needs a Hug, LQR Needs a Pay Raise and a Spa Day, JGY is a Mess, JGY is deeply long suffering, Pray for WX, WRH is his own warning tbh, Everyone's Obsessive Sibling Feelings, NHS Jianghu Goose Agenda, POV Outsider)

~*~

9. Can I submit an I'm in the mood for? Fem Wei Wuxian and fem Lan Wangji? @starrie-amethyst

A Touch To Calm This Aching Heart by Multifacetedinterests (E, 12k, wangxian, F/F, fox WWX, dragon LWJ, fem!wangxian, not YZY friendly, face slapping, touchstarved, emotional manipulation, enemies to lovers, miscommunication, hurt/comfort, non-con collar usage, smut)

~*~

10. Hii, this is an ITMF req/question:

Do you know any fics that address wangji’s punishment after wuxian has been cleared of crimes and/or the elders realizing they were wrong all those years ago

~*~

11. Heloooooo can you please give me badass mafia fics where everyone EVERYONE except Wei Ying is mafia/ gangster/ underworld person. I don't mind Jiang bashing, but I'd like reading good Jiang fics too ✨✨ @constellationdks

~*~

12. Hi! This is for ITMF. An aftermath of sunshot campign where wwx is not in sunshot side. Like he is a hostage/a wen weapon/a wen soldier. Something like Make Me Your Villain by YilingSani or At the end of the winter, I met you who became the spring by abCEE

Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

burning camellias by AvoOwO (M, 284k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Prisoner of War, Genius WWX, Aftermath of Torture, Blood and Violence, Blood and Injury, BAMF WQ, BAMF WWX, BAMF WN, POV WWX, Hurt WWX, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Sentient Burial Mounds, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, No Golden Core Transfer, WWX Has No Golden Core, Golden Core Destruction | Golden Core Melting, Poisoning, Protective WQ, Medical Torture, Cannibalism, PTSD, Dubious Consent Consent Issues, Heavy Angst, MIND THE TAGS) please mind the tags

~*~

13. Hello! I have a request for the next itmf.

I'm in the mood for

A) longer omegaverse wangxian that explores politics of the cultivation world

B) preferably longer (20k and above) post-Sunshot Campaign fic that focuses on Wei Wuxian and his mental health, his relationships with other people (can be the Jiangs, Nie Huaisang, Wen sibling or others) and Lan Wangji. It would be awesome if the Lans or the Nies found out about his golden core.

Thank you so much for all your hard work! @broodyelii

13A)

and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow by izanyas (E, 321k, WIP, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Rape Recovery, Unplanned Pregnancy, Discrimination, Slow Burn, the slowest burn imaginable, Violence/Gore, Child Abuse, Suicide, post-partum depression, a painful but gentle journey into the intricacies of bodily autonomy) mind the tags

13B)

Field Trips with Wei Wuxian by antebunny (G, 42k, WangXian, WQ & WWX, NMJ & WWX, JZX & WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, protective Jiang siblings, Unreliable Narrator, due to WWX assuming ppl hate him, JYL is gonna dropkick her baby bro into having friends)

Practical Considerations by teawater, the_anthropologist (E, 97k, WangXian, JC & WWX, LXC & WWX, LQR & WWX, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Found Family, Spouses to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Politics, Scheming, Lán Elders are assholes, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, eventually BAMF LXC, learning to make decisions, Learning Self-worth, Self-Esteem Issues, Sweet Wangxian, Domestic Fluff, Fix-It, JC is a big asshole, he improves somewhat but it's open-ended, WWX learns to stand up for himself, Quote: Come Back to Gusu With Me, POV wwx, POV LWJ, POV JC, Golden Core Reveal, Teacher wwx, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism, Past Suicidal Thoughts, Post-Sunshot Campaign, WWX Protection Squad, Feelings Realization, WWX protector of the twin jades, Protective LWJ, Protective WWX, Protective LQR, Demonic Cultivator WWX, WWX is Loved, Married WangXian, Genius WWX, Everybody Lives)

Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LWJ’s emotional repression, WWX giving everything as always, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole)

Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, WangXian, canon divergence, yiling wei sect au, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, fix-it of sorts)

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek, the breaking of your soul (upon my lips), The Core Issue, & IF that I've linked above for other requests probably also work for this request (links in 1G & 7)

~*~

14. I'm looking for fanfics where Wei Ying dies in Guanyin Temple

~*~

15. Hiiii, how are y’all doing? Today itmf three things, hopefully at least one already exists:

A) jfm makes wwx sect heir right before indoctrination so he has to go and jc can stay behind

B) jyl confronts her brother for the position of sect leader with the support of the sect

C) jc is the one who pushes wwx away from danger in nightless city

I hope your day/night is going great. Tyvm!

~*~

16. Hello, Itmf works, where Wei Ying is living in extreme poverty in his adulthood and his brilliant mind can't provide him with means, because government is blocking all the ways for his case or he is an invalid ( permanent injury or severe chronic illness). Second option in modern settings is preferable.

I've already read the one where he stock counts the warehouse with lan zhan and the one where he lives in school and lqr finds him and the one where he is living in the veteran house.

Any other suggestions are welcome 🤗 Thank you!

~*~

17. I’m itmf something where wwx or lwj can read the others mind in some way- either thru like a cherry magic au or a curse or anything, just something where one or both is aware of the others thoughts and they work thru their communication issues lmao

beneath six layers of silk by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 12k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Confessions, Curses, Embarrassment, Vulnerability, Swearing, Dirty Talk, Hand Jobs, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Honesty, Communication, beneath six layers of silk by darkredloveknot [podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea) )

🔒 the language of flowers and silent things series by Reverie (cl410) (M, 107k, WangXian, LXC/NMJ, LWJ & Madam Lan, NHS & LWJ, LWJ & LXC, LWJ & NMJ, LWJ & NHS Friendship, Developing Relationship, POV LWJ, Minor Injuries, Autistic LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aka the YZY warning, Genius WWX, Light Angst And Hurt/Comfort, WWX Protection Squad, Gusu Lan Sect, Slow Burn, Protective LWJ, LWJ-centric, Politics, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, Cultivation Sect Politics, Protective WWX)

Rarely Pure and Never Simple by thunderwear (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Truth Spells, Curses, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Post CQL, Getting Together)

So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend (E, 13k, wangxian, Hurt/Comfort, Curses, Case Fic, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Confessions, Drunkenness)

Too Beautiful For Words, Will My Thoughts Suffice? by Watermelonsmellinfellon (T, 8k, wangxian, fluff, crushes, flirting, telepathy, falling in love, LWJ pov, drama, golden core reveal)

My Heart is Yours to Fill or Burst by anancites (E, 67k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Inspired By Cherry Magic, Telepathy, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut, Major Character Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Cherry Magic AU)

💖 Blossom by triedunture (E, 26k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Curses, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, virgin LWJ, Touch-Starved, Telepathy, Cherry Magic AU, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, sad masturbation, First Time, canon typical self harm, Bisexual Disaster WWX)

i'm the one for your fire by occultings (microcomets) (E, 43k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mind Reading, Enemies to Lovers, it's only enemies to lovers in WWX's one braincell, Misunderstandings, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Whump, brief illness/injury, Pining, light bdsm in the first chap, Cherry Magic AU, Getting Together, Podfic Available)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[torukmaktoskxawng]

tsamsiyu ta'em - three stars in orion's belt

Masterlist - part sixteen

Summary: Kayla and Spider return to Awa'atlu, and some things shift into place, right where they need to be.

Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character

Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 15k+

Overall warnings: implied sexual themes, trauma/ptsd, canon-compliant, mature language, slow burn, polyamory, found family, cool aunt agenda, rushed, time skips, fluff, angst, mentioned mcd, child endangerment, proofread by me, etc.

Taglist (bold indicates "could not tag"): @motheroffae @undeniableadrenaline @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n @amiets2 @slutforsmut4ever @yeosxxx​ @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @sucker4angstt @inolaphoenix @ilovechickenwings @tojisleftarm @andyfromku @ivysully @lightandshadow31 @jamie-poopoo @brittney69 @avatar-lover

A/N: Please ignore all the time skips 🙏 I didn't want to write another 20k+ chapter

A beautiful, quiet afternoon in Awa'atlu is evident all around Jake as he finds himself alone in the marui while the rest of his family is out enjoying the warm, sunny day on the reef. He was crouched and trying to remake his tomahawk that he had lost during the battle, but it was proven difficult since he didn't have the proper materials here on the island as he did back in the forest. 

His time alone is interrupted by the sound of his youngest child calling out to him from outside, "Dad! Dad!"

"Tuk?" Jake's ears perked up, immediately alarmed as he got to his feet and stepped out of the pod, "Are you alright? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

His little girl was waving him down the pathway, barely stopping to wait for him as she was eager to run away, a bright, wide smile on her face as she pointed up at the sky, "Auntie's back! Look! Auntie and Spider are back!"

With that, she races off toward the beach, no longer patient enough to wait for her father. Jake's alarmed expression takes a moment, but slowly melts as he tilts his head back to look up at the sky, the unmistakable shadow of an ikran flying overhead.

The rest of the village appears to stir with curiosity as everyone becomes aware of the new entry, heads all occasionally looking up to see if they could spot the mountain banshee for themselves. As Tuk runs down to the beach, she's yelling for the rest of her family, announcing her aunt's arrival as she goes.

Kayla circled the village a few times to ensure the Metkayina was aware of her presence so that they would make some space on the beach for her to land, only feeling comfortable once the horn to announce her arrival was blown. She couldn't see him, but Spider's face was smiling widely as he peered down at the reef village below, anxious to get down there after three, long weeks.

The uproar of the horn and the talk around the village bring Ronal and Tonowari out of their kelku to see what all the fuss is about. They catch sight of Kayla's ikran and visibly appear relieved, shoulders sagging as they share a knowing look. They turn back to their home when both of their children step outside, and Tonowari's hand heavily weighs Ao'nung's shoulder as both father and son stare at one another.

"Remember what I told you," the olo'eyktan says with a skeptical look in his eye, "Respect the boy."

Tsireya smiles brightly and dutifully nods, while Ao'nung reluctantly follows suit. His sister tugs on his arm until he's following her down toward the beach, where handfuls of the village had begun to gather to form a large circle that would act as Kayla's landing zone. 

Thena swings low, flying just above the water at Kayla's command. Tuk is jumping up and down in the sand, waving her arms at her aunt and laughing as she flags the ikran down. The ikran dips low, flying right past the Na'vi girl with the tip of its wing grazing the water surface, playfully spraying Tuk in the face. The girl squeals with delight and laughs, all the while Jake watches this cute display from a distance, his alarm melting in exchange for amusement, chuckling and fondly shaking his head at his sister's playful antics.

"Show off." He mutters to himself.

Tuk continues to giggle and anxiously waits until the banshee finally lands, both water and sand flying everywhere as the ikran comes in for a ferocious landing. Thena barely meets the sand with her talons before Tuk sprints up to her, arms out wide as Kayla is quick to jump off and break tsaheylu.

"Auntie!" 

"Tuk!" Kayla exclaims as she quickly falls to her knees to catch her niece's embrace, laughing with the child as Tuk tackles her in a tight hug, wrapping her small arms around Kayla's neck, nearly sending her into the sand.

Kiri pushes her way through the growing crowd to get to the center, Lo'ak dutifully right behind her. She looked between her sister and Kayla, and then the human boy who had just stepped around the large ikran, making her smile widen with relief, "Monkey Boy!"

Lo'ak beams, quickly following his sister and they race to their friend, "Welcome back, Spider!"

Spider straightens and smiles gently at the sight of his friends running to him, "Hey, guys-- oh, shit!" 

Only for his face to drop into shock when two large, teenage Na'vi tackles his smaller body into the water behind him. The three teens laugh as they grapple and embrace each other in the shallow water, and for added measure, Lo'ak ruffles a handful of wet sand into Spider's dreads.

"Bro!" The human boy squawks. 

"That's what you get for staying away for so long," Lo'ak laughs, "What was up with that? Three weeks, cuz?"

"Hey! Did you save any of that enthusiasm for me?" Kayla calls over playfully as she stands back up, completely forgotten by Tuk who was anxious to join the Spider-hugging pile.

Kiri shoves Lo'ak down and quickly gets up before he can enact his revenge, the teenage girl bounding up and hugging her aunt's waist. Spider doesn't let Lo'ak greet Kayla and holds the Na'vi boy down so Tuk can shove wet sand into his own braided hair, leaving Lo'ak yelping and snarling at the devious pair.

Kayla laughs at the heartwarming sight, looking around and openly smiling at the growing crowd of Metkayina, most of their faces appear welcoming as they meet her gaze. She catches sight of Jake and Neytiri gently pushing through the crowd and meeting one another before walking over to join their family, which reminds Kayla to unpack a bit of her luggage from Thena's back before she can forget.

"Tuk," the girl in question looks up and skips over to her aunt when Kayla calls for her, the woman digging out a small parcel of leaves wrapped around something from one of Thena's saddle bags, "Some of your favorite sundried berries. You have my permission not to share with your dad. And... ah ha!" She fished out something that had gotten caught at the bottom of the bag. Another wrapped gift, which she carefully hands down to her youngest niece, "This is from Popiti. She said she made it just for you."

Tuk beams at the gifts, especially at the mention of her friend, before glancing up at Kayla, "Thank you, Auntie!"

Kayla smiles and moves on to the next child as the rest of the teens have now moved to stand around her, "Lo'ak, I got a new throat mic for you. Uh..." She digs around further before finding what she was looking for and handing it to her nephew, "There you are-- here's the earpiece."

"Thanks, Auntie." Lo'ak grins while taking the new communication device.

"I actually got enough for the whole family this time so we'll pass those around later," Kayla unrolls a cloth that she had tightly tied down to Thena's saddle before handing it to her older niece, "Kiri, this is your new jacket."

Kiri's eyebrows furrow before unwrapping the cloth, holding out a large, avatar-sized safari jacket, once tan but now a little worn from age and sun exposure. Kiri gently squints at the human-made item before her eyes widen with realization, glancing over at her aunt, "Was this my Ma's?"

Kayla nods with soft encouragement, "According to Norm, it was. He thought you should have it. Try it on."

Kiri did so, fitting her arms into the sleeves before wrapping the oversized jacket around her small frame like a safety blanket, taking a deep breath as she pressed her nose into the collar. Kayla smiles sweetly at the sight, "Yeah, it definitely suits you. It's warm and stylish, just like you."

Spider smiles a little and motions Kiri over, asking his friend to help him bring all of his belongings to Kayla's marui. Kiri happily accepts after she's given a moment to appreciate her gift, and with Lo'ak and Tuk's help, they get all of Kayla and Spider's supplies off of Thena's back, and the ikran huffs with appreciation.

Kayla takes a backpack from Tuk before the kids can take off to her kelku, rummaging it before she looks up at Neytiri. Both women paused as they stood in front of one another, their last known conversation playing in the back of their minds, making one another hesitant. Eventually, Kayla clears her throat and provides a gift to the Na'vi woman, holding out the shawl Mo'at made with a look of hesitance.

"Neytiri... from your sa'nok."

Neytiri's tail flicks with interest as she takes the folded-up shawl, holding it out and unraveling it. Her ears pinned back against her skull as she recognizes the fine craftsmanship as if it were her own, eyes faintly growing wet as she sucks in a sharp bit of air. She knows the meaning behind the gift, and a single tear falls down her face. Much like Kiri, Neytiri wraps the cloth around her body and takes in the item's familiar scent, feeling protected under her mother's handiwork.

Kayla averts her gaze, feeling as though she was watching Neytiri in a vulnerable moment before holding out a weapon to her brother, "Jake. I told Tarsem that you lost your tomahawk and so he made you this."

Jake's eyebrows rise in surprise, taking the new tomahawk in hand and testing the weight and craftsmanship as Kayla continues to explain, "As a sign of good faith. He wants you to know that he's leading the People by your example. You haven't been forgotten."

He tightens his jaw, internally touched by the gesture of the Omatikaya's new olo'eyktan. Lowering the tomahawk, he nods solemnly at his sister, ears sinking slightly as he hesitates, "Thanks, Kay. How... how are you?"

She fixes him a small look, apprehensive before she shrugs and looks away, "Never better."

"Everything alright back at base? What took you two so long to get back?"

Kayla's left ear flicked once before she easily answered, "We didn't want to risk the RDA following us again so we kept low until we thought it was safe enough to come back. I was going to radio you... but then I thought Spider and I could turn it into a surprise."

Jake appears satisfied with the answer, one corner of his mouth threatening to rise out of amusement. As he opens his mouth to make a no-doubt smartass remark, Kayla swiftly turns away, "I should help the kids unpack our stuff."

As she turns her back on her brother, she is suddenly tackled by another teenager, and the initial shock melts when she's met with none other than sweet Tsireya with her arms wrapped around the older woman's waist, beaming up at the avatar, "Oel ngati kameie, Makayla te Suli!"

Kayla exhaled a quiet laugh as she smiled down at the reef girl and gently squeezed her back, "Oel ngati kameie, Tsireya," briefly peering up, she noticed the boy standing behind his sister and she nodded once in greeting, "Ao'nung."

The reef boy nods back at the sound of his name, his expression impassive and reminding Kayla just how much he looks like his mother. Tsireya looks around, ignoring her brother's stare-off with Makayla as her little ears begin to fall, "Did Spider not come back with you?"

Kayla's expression melts before looking back down at the reef girl with a small smile, "He's already unpacking back at our kelku. Lo'ak and the others should be with him if you want to follow me with the rest of our things?"

"I would be happy to!" Tsireya explains while following Kayla to her ikran, the girl's sharp elbow nonchalantly meeting her brother's ribs as she passed by him.

Ao'nung coughs, "Yeah, alright."

Together, Kayla and the chief's children manage to bring the rest of hers and Spider's things to her marui, stepping inside and being met with Sully children everywhere, helping Spider unpack. Already, this pod was starting to look more like a home. Someone had actually managed to hang Kayla's "bookshelf" up, dangling it from the ceiling above and letting it hang against the wall, a few of Spider's things already nestled on it. Tsireya and Ao'nung move to help, greeting Spider and asking him questions about his travels and what he had been up to these past few weeks. If Spider was shocked by their sudden interest, he didn't show it, answering expressively, likely comfortable with their presence so long as Kayla and the Sullys were surrounding him.

Both he and Kayla were unpacked and settled back into their home in no time with the help of the children, and even though they all had to part ways to finish their chores, they promised to come back and visit before dinner to catch up and learn what has been happening in High Camp. Kayla and Spider are left in the home, tidying up before the communal dinner. Kayla takes a moment to look at the bookshelf, inspecting all the objects now placed on top to make it full and more... homey, as she had initially wanted it to look. 

Spider had placed a spare mask there, with a small photo leaning against it. Kayla didn't need to ask to know who the picture was of, observing the woman with brown hair holding a blond baby in her arms. Next to the photo were two sets of dog tags, Kayla's and Jake's that she finally decided to leave off of her person and keep on the shelf as a form of memorium, along with the pictures she once had pinned up in the shack back at High Camp, specifically the one with herself and her brothers.

Satisfied with how her new home looks, she smiles and turns to address Spider, only for her words to fall short. The teen hadn't looked up from covering an ammunition container with a woven blanket, unaware of Kayla eyeing his blond locs as they had been pulled back and held up by a hair band, in a fashion very similar to Lo'ak's and other Metkayina warriors. The band itself was brown and decorated with scattered pieces of iridescent shell. 

"That's new."

Spider looked up and met her eyes before he realized what she was talking about, smiling a little cautiously as he explained, "Tsireya made it for me."

A small twinkle forms in her eye, lips twitching with fondness, "Really?"

"Yeah, although I'm not sure Ao'nung helped her as she claims."

A small pause falls between them as Kayla's eyebrows furrow. Before Spider could even ask what was wrong, the expression melted into something more sincere, a smile replacing her once-shrouded emotion, 

 "Hm. He might've. Kinda looks like his armband. It looks good."

The mask nearly hides it, but she manages to catch a small beam of pride flash over Spider's face before it vanishes at the same time he bows his head, pretending to adjust his exo-pack. Kayla let him shy away as she was currently bombarded with her own thoughts, her smile falling once she knew Spider's back was turned. The thought of Ao'nung and Tsireya providing a gift for Spider could mean many things and Kayla didn't want to jump to any conclusions. However, the timing felt odd, especially after Norm practically had to force her to realize that Ronal and Tonowari very likely care for her more than just an ally or a member of their clan. She couldn't bring herself to say what they likely outright felt for her, but she, deep down, knew it to be true. 

It couldn't have been a coincidence that the children of the Metkayina clan leaders seemed interested in Spider and his adventures, and while Kayla was delighted that the boy was making friends, she couldn't help but feel partially responsible for it. What would happen if she didn't reciprocate any of the clan leaders' advances? Would Spider's new friends suddenly pull back from him? 

She didn't want to believe that the Na'vi could be so sinister, but that was the human in her... suspicious of everything.

~~~~~~~~~

Dinner rolls around and the Sullys are eager to hear about what Kayla and Spider have heard from the rest of their friends and family back in High Camp. While they try not to show it, Jake and Neytiri eye Kayla with a careful expression, as if wanting to ask her about the war but not wanting to break this moment of peace between family members, no matter how strained. Kayla uses this to her advantage, avoiding her brother and his wife for the moment so she can feel more at ease and at home after being away for longer than she intended. The children help her chest feel lighter as they eagerly share everything they had done while she was away, rambling to the point she didn't have to think about anything else other than trying to catch up with her nieces and nephew. 

That is until she felt that familiar gaze practically bleeding into her skin, that gaze she could only feel when there were two sets of eyes closely watching her every move. Looking up from where she sat, Kayla easily spotted Ronal and Tonowari down near the end of the long line of Metkayina enjoying their meals. Both the tsahik and the olo'eyktan meet her eyes without shame, blue and green meeting her yellow gaze, always outnumbering her, always successful in stealing her breath away.

She knows that she was being rude by not getting up to greet them, or for never even seeking them out the moment she returned to the village. After all, they were her hosts and her clan leaders, but there was a small bit of nerves eating away at her courage to approach them. Kayla was feeling intimidated by them, now more than ever, but for an entirely different reason compared to when she first met them. It couldn't be helped after everything Norm pointed out about their past behavior towards her, his words still itching at the back of her mind, making her irritated with her best friend despite him being oceans away. 

While she was taking Norm's words into consideration, she was also, unfortunately, still a Sully. Stubbornly shutting down any doubts or insecurities, she swiftly stood up and told her family that she would be right back before turning and walking through the crowd of Metkayina. Ronal and Tonowari's eyes never left hers as she walked toward them, but hers would occasionally dart away to avoid someone's tail, or to find a path around bodies as they knelt or crouched over their food. It was a good excuse for her to look away, unable to hold such an intense gaze. 

When she finally drew close to the leaders in question, she touched her hand to her forehead in greeting, "Ma olo'eyktan. Ma tsahik."

Ronal pointedly looks Kayla up and down before nodding back and motioning for the dreamwalker to sit down. When Kayla crouched to her level, the tsahik opened her mouth, simply stating, "We have a gift for you." 

The Metkayina woman twists to grab something settled between her and her mate, bringing it up to display in the air with both hands for Kayla, presenting a beaded top. 

Kayla's eyes widened, a small, chill of dread making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up at the thought of wearing something so exposed. That is until she got a proper look at the top in question. It was... well, more conservative than Kayla had expected upon being given a Na'vi-styled top. The pieces meant to hang around the chest area are tightly woven together without a hole in sight, covering as much as possible. The beads were of a variety of blues and greens, and the pattern swirled fittingly like water. Kayla tilted her head as she eyed the pattern, a faint memory forming in the back of her head as it reminded her of that one Starry Night painting she once saw in a museum as a child. Woven grass was braided through the beads and up into a large hoop at the top of the piece, meant to wrap around her neck, with soft, feather-like straps dangling from the sides of the top, meant to hang off her shoulders. 

Tonowari nods to the item in his wife's hands, "I had gathered the material and Ronal had woven them all together."

He then starts to form a closed-mouth smile, his expression soft and genuine, "Consider it a welcome home gift."

Kayla sits back on her heels, gaping at the clothing piece in awe and admiration. Slowly, her hands reach up to take the item, feeling the beads between her finger and thumb as she settles it in her lap. She swallows thickly as she raises her head up to the man and woman sitting in front of her, watching her expectedly. She blinks out of her daze, anxious as her stomach swirled uncomfortably, her conversation with Norm now practically trying to beat its way out of her skull with how loud the words pounded in her head, an awful reminder of what the gift was clearly meant to represent. She remembers the fears she expressed to Norm if she accepted Ronal and Tonowari, recalling her insecurities about her appearance, stature, and infertility. Despite wanting to spare the couple from that, she also didn't want to turn down their thoughtful gift.

She tries to express her gratitude in her small nod toward Ronal, "Thank you."

Ronal simply huffs, ears twitching once at Kayla's response as her large hand reaches forward and pinches the worn hem of the avatar's crop top, "Your clothes have seen better days. And as someone who wishes to be part of the People, You could use clothes made for the People."

~~~~~~~~~

Even though she now had a new top in her possession, Kayla didn't wear it, sticking to her old crop top. She knew wearing it would mean accepting it. It would mean something else, something she wasn't entirely ready to admit to herself or anyone.

If either Ronal or Tonowari was disappointed that she wasn't wearing their gift the next day, they didn't show it, and Kayla honestly wasn't sure if she was relieved by that or not. She tries to ignore it as Jake visits her marui to talk about certain events that unfolded with the Omatikaya while he had been away. She catches him up to speed as much as possible, her brain wracking with all the information she had been dumped with as the messenger between her brother and his old clan.

Their discussion is eventually interrupted by the sound of anxious feet kicking up sand outside, followed by shouting, "Makayla! Makayla! Look! Something's happening to Spider!"

It was like a ball of lead dropped down her stomach as panic ambushed all her senses. Before Kayla could even run out of the pod, however, three teenagers come hurtling inside, some more panicked than others. Kayla first spotted Tsireya, the reef girl's concern as clear as day on her young, sweet face. Her larger hands tugged Spider along with her, the human teenaged boy looking a bit flushed and closed-off, shoulders hunching as if he was trying to look small, or at least smaller than he already was compared to the Na'vi standing all around him.

Ao'nung was the third teenager, and he was standing directly behind his sister and Spider, towering over the pair. Despite the hard expression, his ears were flicking wildly around, almost as fast as his eyes as he looked between Spider and up at Kayla, just as concerned as Tsireya, who was now frantically turning Spider around in her grasp as he tried to yelp and swat at her. Spider clearly wasn't trying to harm her, however, as she then displayed his back to the two adults in the room, "See!"

All worry drains from Kayla as she fights to keep her expression neutral, despite the growing amusement in her chest when she notices Spider's pink and peeling skin. Not wanting to appear as though she was mocking Tsireya's panicked state with laughter, the older woman bites the inside of her cheek to keep back a smile that threatened to appear as she peers down at the child she was responsible for.

"Spider, I told you to put on sunscreen."

"I did!" He exclaimed defiantly, his face flushed with pink underneath his mask, likely out of shame and embarrassment then a small sunburn. 

"And did you reapply any as needed? That stuff only lasts a few hours, you know."

He pointedly avoided Kayla's gaze, still indignant and refusing to reply, keeping his back to her as Kayla hummed, now letting a smirk grace her face, "That's what I thought. You might be fine now, but if you don't start properly treating your skin at a young age, you'll just run into problems when you're older, like skin cancer."

Jake was just as easily entertained by the concerned reef children and Spider's embarrassment, standing off to the side as his tail flicked behind him with interest. He glances between Kayla and Spider, one corner of his lips twitching as his eyes stare fondly and, dare I say, proudly at his sister. 

Kayla didn't appear to notice Jake as she reached for the tube of sunscreen that now made its home on her kelku's shelf, "Come on. You promised Max."

Spider kept his head lowered, ashamed even as he grumbled a small form of agreement and took the sunscreen from her. This teenager was actually full-blown pouting at Kayla, and it made Jake chuckle in amusement, finally speaking up to reassure the boy, "Don't worry about it, Spider. As humans, Sullys tend to burn way worse than that, so we didn't get much sun as kids. We were pretty pale. One look at Kayla and people used to ask if she was a vampire."

Kayla's brows furrowed as she glanced back at her brother, "Shut up, Jake."

"What's a vampire?" Spider asked curiously, trying to mask his shock toward Jake as he tried to wrap his head around the fact that the older man had just categorized Spider under the Sully family. 

"Don't listen to him," Kayla immediately replied as Jake was opening his mouth. One more lighthearted glare from her and the older brother immediately closed his mouth once more, still grinning even as Kayla nodded to Spider and his two shadows, "Now you kids get outta here."

"But," Ao'nung's ears lower, "What about Spider--"

"It's called a sunburn, Ao'nung," Kayla smiles reassuringly, "Humans get them when they're out in the sun too long. It's normal, don't worry."

"I wasn't."

"Mm hm," she smirks, unconvinced as she nods to the open doorway, "Go on. 'Git."

Jake snorts fondly at Kayla's choice of human words as the three teens leave the marui once more. Both older Sully siblings fall into silence as they watch the children leave, Jake's amusement falling into something more thoughtful as he struggles to find the right words, "The kid looks good. You did good."

"I didn't do anything." Kayla brushes his comment off, moving back to the mat she had been previously kneeling on.

"No, I mean... you did right by him. You fought for him when no one else did. He's a good kid," Jake tried expressing how proud he was of his sister without using those exact words, knowing she wouldn't accept them, least of all from him. They sit across from each other, a small lit fire between them as Jake's voice lowers, "He's lucky to have you as his mom."

Her eyes quickly glance up at him and immediately narrow, "I'm not--"

"Kayla, come on. He relies on you. He looks up to you. I know that look better than most. He's trying very hard to live up to you... and part of me thinks he got that from watching Neteyam and Lo'ak."

Slowly, her defensive stance melts as her words soften, "Jake. Hey, stop. Don't do that."

He wasn't sure what she was implying until he realized his vision was blurry, obstructing her face from what was only a few feet from him. Jake immediately blinked and cleared his throat, his voice still tight, "We talked. Me and Lo'ak."

"That's good."

"Yeah... I just wish I had done it sooner. If I did, maybe Neteyam--"

"Don't," She could do nothing else but shake her head at him, "We all carry some form of regret. Just focus on now."

~~~~~~~~~

That night, she found herself adding yet another bead to her songcord, only this time, she successfully weaves it into the growing waytelem all by herself. It was a bead she had seen Spider wear in his hair before but had recently replaced with yet another shell both Tsireya and Tuk had been finding for him. Kayla wouldn't think Spider would notice if he was missing a bead, but she still kept her newfound piece for her songcord a secret, immediately tucking it away once she was finished applying it just as Spider was returning home for the night. He looked exhausted, spending most of the day with Tsireya and Kiri as the two girls appeared adamant about teaching him the ways of the Metkayina. Rotxo had eventually joined them and then what was once a lesson had quickly grown into a game. 

Kiri and Spider decided to try to teach the two reef children a human game they had learned from Jake when they were little, and so Spider quickly found himself on Rotxo's shoulders while Tsireya was on Kiri's. They must have played 'Chicken Fight' for hours, both Tsireya and Rotxo enticed by the simple game of trying to wrestle their competitor into the water, despite being confused about what exactly a chicken was. Neither Kiri nor Spider could answer. They didn't know either. 

Since Spider was smaller, he couldn't imagine lifting either of the Metkayina teenagers, but he'd already had practice with Kiri, so he had managed to hold her up on his shoulders for a round or two, but it still had his back feeling sore by the time he walked home. His hand was crossing over his chest and rubbing the opposite shoulder as he walked into the kelku, met with Kayla working on something in her hands before she tucked it away in her pocket, her hands now focused on cooking some fish over the hearth's fire.

"Hey," she smiled when she looked up to greet him, "How was your day?"

"Good. Tired," he responds shortly, sitting down across from her as he looks into the smoldering fire. A sheepish expression flashes over his face for a moment as he lets his thoughts get the better of him, speaking quietly in case he shouldn't be asking, "So... what am I supposed to call you?"

Her brows furrow in confusion, shadows from the fire dancing over her face, "Huh?"

"It's just that..." he ducks his head, "You don't want me calling you Kayla forever, right?"

Realization dawns on her face when she finally deduces what he is trying to say, her surprise melting into contempt as she replies, "You're not supposed to call me anything other than what you're comfortable with."

He peers up at her with a soft frown, "Again, you're being too understanding. You're not helping my case in believing I could kill in front of you and you wouldn't bat an eye."

"Smartass," she laughed, eliciting a smile to form on Spider's face at the sound. Kayla's nose scrunched up as she smiled back, "You can just call me Kayla if you want. It'll be all up to you for once."

It might not have been the answer he was expecting, but it was one he greatly appreciated and thought long and hard on. 

~~~~~~~~~

Spider thought about Kayla's response as he and the Sully children were listening in on Jake, Neytiri, and Kayla as they argued one afternoon in hushed voices in the security of the Sully marui. Apparently, Kayla had done Neytiri wrong by bringing Spider back to Awa'atlu, and while she had kept her mouth closed about her distaste, it all came to a head when Spider had taken Tuk for a small swim without her consent. 

It was his fault, and while Spider had initially tried to take the blame, Kayla had shot him down and told the kids to go look for Tsireya for the evening and let the adults talk alone. Obviously, the children weren't about to do that and snuck around behind the marui to snoop on their parents' conversation, ducking their heads to peer underneath the wall so they could see the three adults.

"What if she got hurt? What could he possibly do to help her?" Neytiri had hissed to both her husband and his sister, Spider's guardian, "I do not want my baby to be by herself, let alone left with him."

"Spider's responsible," Kayla defended her charge with her arms crossed and glare pinpointed at her sister-in-law, "And yes, he should've asked, but that doesn't mean he's a bad kid, Neytiri. Kids forget things. It happens."

"And when children die, does it just 'happen?'" Neytiri snipes back, clear grief and anger mixing her pools of yellow eyes. 

"It does when someone holds a knife to their throat," Kayla hisses, quick as lightning with her reply as her tail flicks sporadically behind her, "As you likely knew when you did so to Spider."

Kiri's hand snakes up and grips tightly onto Spider's shoulder, both of them doing their best to keep their breathing slow and quiet so the adults they were eavesdropping on wouldn't hear them. Lo'ak makes a point to keep a hand over Tuk's mouth from off to the side of them. Spider swallows thickly as Kayla's retort bounces around in his head, the memory of Neytiri putting him in harm's way still always lingering whenever he looks at her, his hand unconsciously rising to trace the scar on his chest. The way Kiri was gripping his shoulder, he knew she was thinking the same thing. 

"Enough," Jake alleviates as gently as possible, a permanent dent in his forehead from his eyebrows wrinkling with concern and desperation about the well-being of his family members. He glances between his wife and his sister before settling on Neytiri, "Spider isn't a danger to anyone, baby. You know this. He grew up with our children."

"You have never, not once, disagreed with me about the boy until now," Neytiri sneered back, betrayal evident in her eyes as she glanced between Jake and Kayla, "Until she decided to keep him like some pet and bring him around our children."

"Spider is not a pet," Jake retorts softly, his eyes unable to meet hers as her words only made his guilt stronger in his gut, regretting all those years he should've fought for an innocent child.

"And he's not her son," Neytiri growled lowly, "She's not his mother."

Spider watches Kayla's expression fall along with her ears and tail, the sight alone causing an unexpecting wave of rage to wash through him. He barely even thinks, a split-second decision made as he pulls out of Kiri's grip and stomps out of hiding, reentering the marui and pointing an accusing finger right up at Neytiri, venom in his voice as he was quick to defend Kayla, "Then by your logic, Kiri isn't your daughter."

The room falls into intense silence as all three adults zone in on Spider, all of them surprised by his reappearance, their ears falling with shame as all of the children come out of hiding, revealing they had heard everything just by looks alone. Neytiri felt as though she was between a rock and a hard place as she stared into each of her children's disappointed eyes before landing back on Spider, who didn't appear to be done with her,

"If Kiri was born a human, would you have loved her?" The question stuns Neytiri into silence, though she subtly glances at her eldest daughter as Spider continues, "Because that was always your excuse to avoid me. Because I was human. The thing is, I don't think you wouldn't love Kiri any less if she was human. She was born of Dr. Augustine, someone you loved very much."

The name makes Jake wince and Kiri's ears lower, her eyes wet and internally pleading with Neytiri as she stares up at her adoptive mother. Kayla felt as though she couldn't breathe, staring down at the boy she took in with disbelief, unable to blink in case he suddenly disappeared. She was surprised by his quick words in defense of her, unable to stop this small wave of pride desperately wanting to display on her face.

Spider shakes his head as he continues, defeat in his voice after finally accepting the truth for the first time ever in his life, "But if she were human? It wouldn't have mattered. Because you don't actually hate all humans. You just hate me... because of the man who helped create me."

Neytiri's expression settles back into someone filled with anger and takes one step toward him, but only gets one step before Kayla suddenly stands in front of Spider, blocking her path. Both women stare one another dead in the eyes with a deep snarl escaping both of their lips, ready for blood if need be and visibly making Jake and the children uneasy. Spider felt his body move before his mind could catch up, and without a thought, he stepped forward and stood close to Kayla's side, half covered by her body as if hiding from Neytiri.

Kayla's eyes didn't even blink as she glared at her sister-in-law, her voice deep and grinding like gravel, "If you know what's best for you, you'll leave him alone. You will never hurt Spider again."

Jake would've been impressed by the deep, protective growl his sister lets out if it wasn't for the fact that it was directed at his mate. In other words, the sound intimidated him and he genuinely worried for Neytiri if she didn't back down. He noticed his own kids flinch as well, and a faint memory of them reacting poorly to Neytiri's ferociousness against Quaritch only made him want to defuse the situation even more. He understands that Kayla was just protecting Spider, much like how he knew Neytiri would protect her own children, but he didn't want this ending with the two women he valued most in life to continue being at each other's throats. 

Spider looked up at Jake, and whatever expression he saw on the older man's face made him understand what he was thinking. Wordlessly, Spider reached his hand up and gently settled it on Kayla's arm. Jake felt the tension in his own shoulders melt as Kayla's posture began to relax, her tail still flicking irritably, but she had stopped baring her fangs and now only looked at Neytiri with disappointment instead of pure hatred.

"What you went through-- what the Sky People put you through, I understand," she starts out, "I understand why you're hostile to humans. But loss and pain don't excuse the neglect and pure hatred directed toward an innocent child. Spider didn't kill your sister or your father. He didn't destroy your home. Your hostility is directed at the wrong person and he doesn't deserve it."

Neytiri scoffed with sharp fangs, her words not as heated but also still hurting Spider like the knife that was once cut along his chest, "He spared the life of the man who destroyed my home, who killed my father and was behind the death of my son--"

"You were the one who told me Eywa only protects the balance of life," Kayla raised her chin, "You said it yourself. A son for a son. Quaritch already paid for Neteyam's death, even if he didn't die in return. Quaritch will get what's coming to him, in time, but it won't be by harming Spider."

Neytiri stares at Kayla for a good long while, her hatred slowly sinking back down beneath her skin as defeat and grief replace it once more. She takes one look back down at Spider and scoffs, but more quietly than before. Eventually, she turns and looks away, ending the conversation with her back toward them as her mind runs rampant with conflicting thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~

Tsireya noticed the obvious tension among the Sully family immediately. It wasn't hard, really, but one morning, they seemed happy and content, but then the next, they were clearly avoiding one another, or at least the adults were. The chief's daughter noticed the distaste that appeared to stick permanently on Neytiri's face as she followed Ronal out into the water astride a pair of ilu. Tsireya didn't dare try and calm whatever storm was brewing in Neytiri's mind that day, knowing that her mother would quickly straighten it out.

So, Tsireya decides to calm whatever storm was in Kayla's head, since the other Sully female appeared to be just as irritated with something that likely involved Neytiri since they were both being kept far away from each other, by Jake and the children. Tsireya finds Kayla and politely asks if she could accompany her to the crafting pods today. Kayla followed the young reef girl without question and together they walked toward the huts where Kayla had first officially met Tsireya. 

Tsireya didn't waste any time once they arrived. Taking Kayla's hand, she lures the older woman around the large circle of Metkayina who were crafting various different items and stops her in front of one particular Na'vi she had been dying to introduce Kayla to, "Makayla, this is Rutxa. They are our very best weaver, in both crafting and story-telling."

Ruxta looked up at the mention of their name and sharp blue eyes immediately landed on Kayla. Standing to full height, they stood over Kayla by about an inch, clearly more built around the shoulders and legs. Their crafting which Tsireya swears by is obviously shown in their clothes, wearing a beautiful, sharp lapis blue top that wraps around their neck, chest, and back, woven through a cummerbund similar to any Metkayina warrior. The cummerbund was strapped over only one shoulder and decorated with both shells and akula teeth. Rutxa's loincloth was a lighter, aqua color, made of dried seaweed, and decorated with a very long and impressive songcord. Tattoos peek out of Ruxta's clothing and wrap around their shoulders and back, a smaller one inked around their left eye, accentuating their lagoon blue skin. 

"Ah, so I finally get to meet the famous dreamwalker everyone is talking about." Ruxta's smile is wide and cat-like, which automatically sets off something in the back of Kayla's mind.

"Everyone?" Kayla asked, slightly suspicious.

"Don't listen to them, Makayla," Tsireya tugged Kayla's hand so the older woman would look down at her, the reef girl's smile was playful, "Rutxa tends to fabricate a lot of stories."

Ruxta flashes a knowing look down at Tsireya, a look only an adult could possess when talking to someone younger, "Child, if I recall, you used to eat up my stories when you had yet to learn how to speak."

Kayla had never seen Tsireya this giddy before, giggling to herself with a small, amused roll of her eyes in Rutxa's direction before the reef girl tugged Kayla's hand until she was kneeling down between herself and the Metkayina weaver. The three of them crouching together in a small circle, they get to work as Rutxa shows Kayla the best weaving techniques, a feat that the avatar woman had yet to master. Tsireya smiles and watches as Kayla is suddenly dragged into a discussion about the best ways to weave a story as her hands move to bead together a lovely top without having to think about it much, Ruxta easily gets the proper responses from the dreamwalker and even a few stories of her own from her homeworld that intrigued the weaver.

Tsireya took a look outside to determine the time of day before she had to regrettably part ways to find Lo'ak and Spider for their lessons. The reef girl stands and respectfully bows her hand to both Kayla and Ruxta with a sweet smile before exchanging pleasantries and leaving the pod, waving over her shoulder at the pair before disappearing.

Kayla smiled while watching her go before lowering her gaze to continue her work, only to realize a separate gaze was now carefully watching her. She glanced up and noticed Rutxa had not returned to their work and was comfortable just staring at Kayla with a knowing expression. Once they realized Kayla had noticed them, Rutxa flicks their eyes over to the entrance of the pod that Tsireya had just exited through,

"She adores you."

Kayla looks back down at her work, smiling to herself, "I adore her. She's a very sweet and kind person."

"She speaks very highly of you, as does her sa'sem."

The mention of Ronal and Tonowari forces Kayla's hands to pause around the top she had successfully made. It was too small for her, but Rutxa insisted on starting small, so perhaps it could be gifted to a child of the village... if they would want something made by Kayla. The brief distraction doesn't last long as the thought of the clan leaders drives Kayla's ears to flick with interest, even as her eyes downcast, "Their respect is misplaced."

"Is it?" Rutxa hummed while leaning back on the balls of their feet, watching Kayla's expression carefully, "They are grateful to you. We all are. After all, you did save our tsahik's life."

Both her ears and her tail perk up in attention, her eyes slowly following as her brows furrow in confusion, "What?"

"She claimed that you saved her against the Sky People at Three Brothers Rock. You took down another demon and their ikran without even thinking before you flew away."

Kayla's tail leisurely sways as she ponders this, thinking back to that battle, to all the times she had killed a Sky Person or a Recom. She remembered Thena had feasted on one's head when they crashed in the sky, and then there was one shooting into the water... was that the moment Rutxa spoke of? Did Kayla save Ronal's life? She couldn't recall if she saw the tsahik at that moment, everything going so fast and Kayla barely had time to react or else she might've found herself getting hurt or worse. It was difficult to remember any particular point she might have seen either Ronal or Tonowari during the battle, that is before they saved her from drowning and then brought her to Neteyam...

She stops that thought process before it could even begin, sucking in a quiet, sharp breath when another takes over. Was it possible that Ronal and Tonowari were only treating her differently like Rutxa claims? Because she saved Ronal's life? Because they were grateful? Most of the things the clan leaders said or did that made Kayla question their motives only happened after the battle. It couldn't have been a coincidence... could it? Maybe they didn't care for her like Norm and even Spider claimed... so then why didn't she feel relieved? Why did the bottom of her stomach feel like lead?

She swallowed thickly, her jaw visibly clenching as she stared down at the newly woven top, "The praise should go to my brother as Toruk Makto."

Ruxta snorts through their nose, the sound bouncing through Kayla's ears, "Believe me, the whole village is aware of the demanded respect between Toruk Makto and his sister."

"I doubt it," Kayla muttered, "When I hear the village whisper about us, they call us Vrrtep Mesmuk."

"Ah, yes," they hum thoughtfully, "I can understand how that would be seen as an insult. And perhaps it was at the start, but not for some time. After we fought the Sky People with you and your brother by our side, many Metkayina now use your title as a sign of respect. We are honored to have fought beside Vrrtep Mesmuk, and we hope to spread stories of you and your brother to other clans as well. Your brother is Toruk Makto after all, and the story of Toruk Makto is meant to bring all Na'vi together in times of war or sorrow."

Kayla wasn't entirely convinced by this change in behavior, but it was a comforting thought to think, if only for a moment, that the Metkayina were starting to grow and respect her family for who they were and not just what they represented. At the very least... Rutxa didn't seem like the type of person who cared whether or not she was some sort of demon possessing a deformed body, 

"I'm almost afraid to ask what kind of stories you plan on sharing."

Ruxta puffs out their chest, voice playful, "I will have you know I am an excellent storyteller. I was already weaving the tale of a dreamwalker who flew back to our village after a large, victorious battle with a demon child in her arms."

The smile that once threatened to make an appearance falls as Kayla is quick to defend the demon child in question, "That child's name is Spider."

Rutxa catches the tone of her voice and eyes her carefully, "That is an odd name for a child."

She wasn't expecting that response, and it surprised a small laugh out of her, "It's not a conventional name among my kind either, but it's the one he chose and the only name I need to know."

A small wave of understanding flows between the pair, a recognition of respect shining in Rutxa's eyes as they smirk gently, "From what I hear about the Sky People, they are not very understanding of culture outside of their own. I am pleased to see that not all Sky People are like that."

"No," she agreed with a warm smile, "Not all."

~~~~~~~~~

Despite coming to many revelations, only to be riddled with just as many questions, Kayla still found time to be with Ronal and Tonowari, just the three of them. Even though every bone in her body told her to refuse and avoid their presence, she found that her feet were still walking in the direction that Tonowari had instructed her to meet them after their evening meal.

She tried to come up with excuses in her head as to why they wanted her to join them at night. Perhaps it was under the guise that all three of them had been extremely busy ever since Kayla and Spider returned, but that still didn't make her feel better, knowing that to want to spend time with her meant that they cared for her in some way shape, or form. And even though she logically didn't want that... she couldn't ignore certain other parts of her that were seemingly devoid of logic. Parts of her wanted to believe that they wanted her around for something besides gratitude, besides wanting to keep an eye on her or wanting her to do her part and not be useless to their village.

She finds them standing along the beach where they told her to meet them, their toes dipped into the bioluminescent sand, creating a rippling galaxy beneath their very feet. Kayla can't help but think of the Milky Way, a long line of clustered stars lining the island where the sand meets the ocean. Ronal and Tonowari stood at the center of the cluster of stars, immovable planets that demand others to revolve around them, and in a way, Kayla found herself doing just that, moving toward them like an unforeseen gravity pulling her in. 

Tonowari was watching her approach while Ronal was looking up at the sky, watching that familiar, beautiful gas giant with the large crater glaring down at them. Kayla was now standing close enough where she could count the tattoos on both of their faces, so she stopped, deciding that this would have to be close enough, a few feet away, just out of arm's reach. It was for the better.

Tonowari watched as Kayla peered up into the sky, watching the same gas giant as Ronal before the chief spoke up, "It is Naranawm. 'Great Eye.'"

Kayla hummed in understanding, "My people call it Polyphemus, named after a cyclops."

Both pairs of Metkayina eyes are now trained on her, Kayla's ears tucking close to her head out of embarrassment while she shyly explains herself, "It's uh... it's a mythological creature from my homeworld. The Cyclops is a man-eating giant with only one eye at the center of its face." 

"That is barbaric." Ronal simply states with a scrunched nose.

A breath of a laugh escapes Kayla, "And yet, you guys have man-eating creatures here that are considered the stuff of nightmares where I'm from. Polyphemus was one of the pretty popular in one or two stories. His father was the god of the sea-- or something like that."

"God of the sea?" Tonowari tilts his head with interest.

Kayla nods, deciding that it would be inappropriate to share how she imagined Poseidon to look like Tonowari if such a benevolent god existed, "Yeah. Um... depending on what part of Earth you lived on, your faith in certain deities varies. Polyphemus stems from Greek mythology and the Greeks believed in multiple gods, Poseidon being one of them. He was the god of the sea."

"What deity did your part of the world believe in?"

"One god, like Eywa..." Kayla shivered at distant memories of religious trauma, "Only the Great Mother tends to sound kinder."

~~~~~~~~~

Another night, another moment of silent contempt between them. Kayla walked away from that night feeling both lighter and full of anxiety. She almost wanted to demand exactly what Ronal and Tonowari wanted from her, but at the same, they appeared content with the way things are right now, and maybe that was enough for her, too. Then again, she was confusing and frustrating herself with trying to figure out the clan leaders' motives. Wanting to try and distract herself from her rampaging thoughts, she decides to keep herself busy.

By the end of the week, Kayla finds herself barely resting apart from at night. She found time with Ronal by helping her gather any healing or cooking ingredients from high up in the trees where the tsahik would have normally struggled to grab herself. Other times, she was helping Ao'nung and Tonowari hunt and fish. When she wasn't doing that, she was helping both the tsahik and the olo'eyktan with weaving fishing nets, descaling their catches, or carving out a new canoe. Tasks like this usually left a healthy sheen of sweat on her skin, and whether she realized it or not, Ronal and Tonowari's eyes lingered on her even longer during these moments. Kayla would've thought her body was heating up under their gaze if it wasn't for the fact her body was already warm from a hard day's work.

While it's not much of a chore, Kayla still finds herself busy in Tsireya's presence, the reef girl always constantly dragging her around for certain things, like deep diving with Lo'ak or hunting for the most perfect shells with Tuk and Kiri. Sometimes, it was to even help her teach Spider the way of water. While he couldn't learn very much without the use of a kuru, Tsireya still thought it would be important for him to learn how to hold his breath as long as a Metkayina, in case of emergencies where he might lose his mask and didn't have a spare. Kayla strongly agreed with this sentiment and was honestly touched by Tsireya's thoughtfulness. 

Spider was a little amused and even bravely teased Tsireya, asking her if she was worried about him, to which she smiled and lightheartedly smacked him upside the head, driving Kayla into small, fond fits of laughter.

When she wasn't busy with all of those things, she found herself in the presence of at least half a dozen children, children who were eager to learn common English.

She wasn't sure how she got pulled into being a teacher, but once Jake caught wind of it, he was also supportive of the idea. Both he and Kayla silently agree that, after what the children had all been through as of late, it might be important for them to know certain Earth customs, writing, and language. While the Sully children are already bilingual -multilingual now that they have the Metkayina's sign language and tulkun speak under their belt- they do not know how to write the language of the Sky People and the reef children who befriended them even less so. The Sully children, Spider, Ao'nung, Tsireya, and Rotxo had all come to a silent agreement that they wanted Kayla to teach them, and while she wasn't sure why, she didn't want to disappoint them.

Spider found himself being her assistant since he already knew how to read and write, giving helpful advice and even translating some of the things Kayla said as some of the information was hard to initially grasp in fluent Na'vi. The Sully children were able to understand, but when it came to the reef children, let's just say they were grateful Spider was better at speaking Na'vi than Kayla.

While she suspected who taught Spider how to read and write, she didn't want to ask, knowing it was likely a touchy subject to him. She discovers fairly quickly that there's still one too many things the teenager refuses to talk about, and while she was fine with that and respected his boundaries, there were times when her curiosity nearly got the best of her. Nearly.

There are times when she remembers how much this kid has gone through in his short sixteen years of life, it makes her head spin. Other times, she remembers that he's still just a kid, like one particular afternoon as Kayla and Spider were outside of their marui and making their first fishnet together. 

"Spider."

He looks up at his name, surprised when he realizes who it was that called to him. Ronal was staring expectedly at him, and behind her was Tonowari, a tall and strong pillar of strength, holding a familiar weapon in his hand that looked far too small for the olo'eyktan. However, it was the perfect size for Spider.

The teenager finds himself standing to his full height and hesitantly stepping toward the clan leaders, his eyes widening at the sight of a beautifully made bow, already strung and adorning lovely feathers and leather grip, "Is that...?"

Tonowari smiles solemnly, bending down to Spider's height and passing the bow along to him, "For you. We hope it is to your liking."

Kayla felt the soft hint of a smile beginning to form on her lips as she watched Spider take the long bow from Tonowari as if it were a precious child or an injured animal. Spider's hands immediately moved to test the strength of the weapon, fingers gliding across the fine craftsmanship before his eyes peered up at the Metkayina clan leaders, unable to stop the doubt and suspicion in his gaze, 

"You made this for me?"

Ronal's expression remains neutral, calculating, ever the one to point out the obvious, "You needed one."

And Tonowari is always the one to soften her bold statements, "We wanted to make it right and to your size."

"So we had Neytiri help us," Ronal finished.

Both Kayla and Spider visibly stiffen at this bit of information, both adult and teenager frowning with even more suspicion than before, much to the clan leaders' internal distress since that was not their intent. Ronal, despite her audaciousness, wasn't trying to upset either of them and hoped that she didn't say anything wrong. The tsahik was constantly at war in her mind, reminding herself to stay open-minded about other sawtute if she wanted Kayla and Spider to be a part of her family's lives, but it was difficult to keep her mind open when the dead image of Ro'a and her baby was stitched permanently in her memory. 

Despite her conflicted emotions, she didn't want Spider or even Kayla to believe she was disgusted by them. Quite the opposite. In fact, whenever she looked at them, she would sometimes forget they were both human. It was easier to forget when Kayla possessed the body of a Na'vi, but with Spider, he held himself like one, despite being cursed in the body he was born in. Ronal couldn't fault a child for that, least of all Spider. Nevertheless, Ronal was tsahik, and her expertise lies with Eywa. Even if Ronal had some doubt about Kayla and the child she was responsible for, which she no longer possessed, Eywa clearly saw something in them that she didn't yet. 

Spider's next words were more of a statement than a question, "She helped you."

"Yes," Ronal nodded, trying to calm whatever doubt was clearly evident in the child's eyes, "She is an expert at archery. A skilled warrior. We thought she could help us make this for you."

"Yeah..."  He stares down at his new bow, though his mind is far away, back over the ocean and somewhere in the forest. He was thinking about all the times he was a kid, practicing his archery skills, away from prying eyes, wanting to be the best... wanting to be like Neytiri. Back then, he really thought she would accept him if he strived to be like her. After some time, as he grew up, he started to realize that she would never accept him, but that didn't stop him from being very skilled with a bow. He was easily the most skilled with it out of every human currently living on Pandora, and while he no longer strived to impress Neytiri, he had taken the bow as his own, not wanting his true talent to go to waste. 

He thought he had lost that talent when he lost his bow, and he even voiced how much he missed it when Kayla had brought him to speak to the clan leaders all those weeks ago. As he inspected the one now secured in his hands, he couldn't help but feel touched that Ronal and Tonowari remembered something he said once in passing. 

Instead of voicing his thoughts, Spider looked up at Ronal and Tonowari, gratitude evident in his smile, "Irayo. This... this is amazing. I appreciate it." 

Regardless of how she felt toward Neytiri, Kayla also felt herself smiling in gratitude, making sure to look directly at both Ronal and Tonowari so they knew it, too. 

~~~~~~~~~

One must enjoy the little things in life.

Kayla remembers that phrase from somewhere back on Earth, and it sticks to the front of her mind as she's teaching her nieces, nephews, and their friends how to spell their names in the English alphabet. A task she once found tedious when she was a child was now a bright and shining moment she could witness in other children. 

Although if she were to voice how much she regretted not enjoying how to spell her own name as a kid, Jake would've reminded her that her teacher was awful and the bastard forced her to use her right hand to spell her name even when she was more comfortable using her left. Her learning experiences were vastly different from what Lo'ak, Kiri, Tuk, and their friends were used to, and Kayla wanted to keep it that way.

She tries to enjoy the little things in life, like the way Ronal looks while watching her teach. The tsahik was standing just outside the entryway of Kayla's pod, silent to not interrupt, only to observe. Kayla didn't want to believe Ronal was chaperoning her but was just curious as to what all the fuss was about.

Kayla wasn't far off. Ronal has been subjected to Tsireya's ramblings every evening, gushing over how fun it is to learn a new language. Ao'nung isn't as expressive, and yet, he still keeps disappearing to Kayla's kelku with the rest of the children when it's time to learn. Even Tonowari has gone to see what's so interesting about Kayla's lessons, and when he came back the night before, he expressed how intriguing it was and urged Ronal to see for herself.

She had failed to see what her mate found intriguing about these lessons. All Kayla did was have the children repeat everything she said and then ask them to write her lessons down to prove that they had been paying attention. However, the mood shifts when Kayla goes to each child and helps them spell out each of their own, personal names, using a tawtute device she calls a datapad. Everyone appeared excited to use what they learned to see their own name on a screen, and while Ronal didn't understand why, she didn't verbally complain. Regardless of how she felt, it clearly made Makayla happy, her lips almost permanently smiling as she watched every child's reaction when they spelled their name right. 

Once Kayla dismissed the kids for the day to do their afternoon chores, it left her and Ronal alone in her marui, and before Kayla could ask what the other woman was thinking, she already had a question in mind, "Why teach them?"

Kayla tilts her head, curious, "What do you mean?"

"Why do they need to write stories and history when we already express our stories and history through our songcords?"

"It's... it's a little different," she found herself sputtering for the best way to explain, ears darkening a shade as she tried to find her words, "I mean-- well, I guess for Sky People, writing our names is like having a songcord. Every person's handwriting is unique. It's personal. It's their identity."

While Ronal stands there, unconvinced, Kayla is still smiling and hellbent on showing the other woman what she means, "Here, just-- Let me show you." 

She presents the datapad, and Ronal frowns at the sight of the alien device. Kayla writes something on the screen and beams when showing it to her, "This is what my name looks like written in English."

Not that Ronal could read exactly what was written on the screen, but the thought of Makayla's name scrawled in soft swirls and sharp edges intrigued her. Ronal stared at the screen, tilting her head with interest. The image was long, the shapes toward the end growing smaller as if Kayla realized she was running out of space. 

Kayla smiled when she recognized the interest floating in Ronal's eyes, "Can I write your name?"

The tsahik nods once and Kayla turns the datapad back on herself as her finger presses down and erases her name, scrawling down another image -another name- and flipping it back over to show to Ronal. Again, the Na'vi woman couldn't read it, but since she knew it was meant to be her name, she understood why it felt so meaningful to Kayla that she wanted to teach the children how to do the same. Ronal could finally see the appeal, especially since it was Kayla's hand that wrote out Ronal's name. It gave the name a whole new meaning to the tsahik to have it be written by the other woman's finger. 

"Just yesterday, Lo'ak asked me to show him how to spell and write Neteyam's name so he could carve it into a bracelet he intends to make," the mood shifts to something dire and sad, Kayla's smile less bright than before as she quietly explained, "That's why I wanted the other kids to learn. It's just nice to have your own identity written out like this. Where I'm from, people often get tattoos of their loved ones' names when they die."

That image wasn't as impossible to imagine as others. Perhaps it was because she had tattoos of her own, but Ronal could understand why the Sky People would ink their skin with the names of their lost loved ones. It was different compared to why the Metkayina bore tattoos, but it was just as important nevertheless. 

She studied Kayla's face carefully, wondering what she would look like if she bore Metkayina tattoos-- or wore her hair the way Metkayina women would. The thought brings the tsahik to study Kayla's hair, her mouth, once again, saying the first thing that comes to mind without really even thinking about it, 

"Your braids need to be redone."

"Yeah?" Kayla's sad spell is broken as she reaches up to feel the top of her head, feeling the roots that have grown out, unbraided compared to the rest of her locks. A sheepish smile falls across her lips, "I guess it's been a while."

A split-second decision was made as Ronal moved away to kneel down near the entrance of the marui, waving her hand at the space in front of her, "Come. Sit."

Kayla exhales a quiet huff, lips quirked out of amusement as she sets her datapad down and moves to join Ronal, sitting cross-legged in front of the Na'vi woman and dutifully staying still as she feels larger fingers begin unraveling all of her old, unkempt braids. Ronal's hands were rough and straightforward, making Kayla bite her tongue to refrain from yelping out of pain. Ronal only tsked at her when she noticed Kayla's hands gripping onto her own knees to restrain herself, berating the avatar woman for not keeping up with treating her hair properly. Had she done so, this wouldn't be an issue. Kayla had to scoff at the irony of that, and had she been able to see behind her head, she would've caught Ronal smiling. 

Ronal undoes the braids and removes all the beads hidden within. Without a proper comb or a way to soften Kayla's hair, Ronal used her tsahik knife, whittled to a pointed tip and protected by the shell adornment she often kept around her neck. She uses the pointed tip as a comb pick, unknotting the roughest spots in Kayla's long hair, being careful around her ears and kuru. 

The sight of the tswin braid entices Ronal, hands pausing around the base of Kayla's skull, fingers still threaded in the other woman's hair. Ronal eyes the large, singular braid for a long moment before continuing her work, but any time her fingers gently graze the sensitive appendage, she revels the sight of Kayla's skin rising in small, soft bumps. 

Kayla did her best to stay still, keeping her back ramrod straight in an attempt to restrain the shiver she felt going up her spine each time Ronal's fingers passed over her kuru. Kayla wasn't an idiot. She knows how sensitive that spot is for all Na'vi and how important it is for their way of life. Still, she hadn't initially thought about it when Ronal instructed her to sit down as she did her hair. Had she thought it through, Kayla might not have agreed, knowing how... serene and intimate it would feel to have the other woman redo her hair, to trust her to be careful around a very sensitive spot. 

It appears Eywa intends to torture Kayla to no end today as a shadow looms over the entry of her kelku. Tonowari peers inside, stopping by in search of his mate once he had noticed all the children have left their lessons, and evidently found something better. He found Kayla as she sat perfectly still, cross-legged, with his mate kneeling behind her, Ronal hovering over the back of her head as the tsahik focused on braiding groups of her hair, one small lock at a time.

As the olo'eyktan stepped into the pod, Kayla realized just how much space he took up in her small home. To Spider, this place was like a studio apartment. For Tonowari, it was more like a walk-in closet. 

"Perhaps I can be of help?" Tonowari offered brazenly.

Ronal huffs out through her nose, amused, "It would certainly get the job done faster."

Kayla hummed a tiny laugh, caught in the middle of the pair's playful banter, quite literally as Tonowari took a knee in front of her, leaning down awfully close to her as his hands reached for one side of Kayla's head. She sucks in a sharp, silent breath as she stays still for the clan leaders, Tonowari's hands easily the same size as her whole skull. As if knowing the intimidating size difference, Tonowari was careful with his large hands as he gently pulled and weaved the locks of her hair into small and tight braids. Using the beads Ronal initially took out of Kayla's hair, they return the small adornments to their rightful place, settling more comfortably in the woven locks that put Kayla's human hair to shame.

When Kayla was alone with Ronal, it was easy to hide how flustered she felt since she was facing away from the other woman, able to hide her face. Now, she was forced to notice the heat of both Ronal's and Tonowari's bodies, radiating on her back and her front, essentially trapping her as they silently worked on her hair as a team. She envied their teamwork but was enraptured by it at the same time, something warm in her belly making itself known as the thought of them working together to help her came to mind.

"Thank you." 

Her voice felt so small in such a quiet, peaceful moment, unsure of where that gentle tone came from. She cleared her throat out of embarrassment while Tonowari pinned her down with a sweet, gentle smile,

"It is our pleasure."

She doesn't miss the heaviness of those words, whilst simultaneously feeling both of their breaths and bodies so close to hers as they braid her hair. Kayla could feel Ronal's knees pressed against her lower back while one of Tonowari's knees was pressed up against the outside of her thigh. Kayla has to purposely keep her tail wrapped around her own arm in fear that the appendage will betray her and reach out to them. To try and break the silence that lingered far past comfort, she opens her mouth and says the first thing that comes to mind,

"The last time my hair was braided was by Kiri and Tuk. They were trying to teach me how to properly do it myself while also sharing... a very detailed story of how their parents first mated." She snorts sharply.

Ronal hummed quietly to acknowledge her small story, the tsahik's breath gently ghosting small wisps of Kayla's hair as she spoke, "You sound as though the topic made you uncomfortable."

Kayla's nose scrunches up, "I don't know anyone who would want to hear about their brother's nocturnal activities."

"But the topic itself?"

"Uh..." 

'Ah, Hell,' was the first thought that came to mind when she realized the type of topic she roped herself into, a topic she would rather share with almost anyone except the two large Na'vi practically trapping her between their bodies, "Sky People don't really talk so casually about that sort of thing."

Tonowari's eyes briefly glance down at her before returning to her hair, "Really?"

"I mean, the ones I hang out with are not as private. Soldiers are often crude that way, but back home it's considered too... gaudy? It's mostly talked about behind closed doors or with people you can trust, but not flat-out strangers. Unless that excites them, I guess. I don't know, everyone's different. But society as a whole back on Earth doesn't like talking about it in public."

Ronal's eyes meet her husband's for a long while, both of their hands simultaneously pausing in Kayla's hair, making her ears straighten in alertness. She was starting to wonder if she had said something wrong before Ronal's hands began to move once more, in sync with her own response, "The Na'vi believe that it is our sworn duty to share and teach just like everything else. We do not shy away from such discussions because we want our children to learn how to be careful and well-informed early on. To give them such responsibility at a young age tends to make them blossom into more mature, respectful adults."

"Huh," Kayla exclaims, mostly to herself, "That explains why Tuk didn't seem shy at all when she talked about it. Any child her age back on Earth would've been mortified."

Tonowari chuckled, finishing one braid before moving on to another clump of her hair, "The more you speak, the more you make sense to us, Makayla te Suli."

"... That sounds like it had two different meanings."

The olo'eyktan makes a deep noise in the back of his throat, eyes meeting Ronal's over the top of Kayla's head, "When you speak about how children are brought up among the Sky People, the more I understand why you do not react the way normal Na'vi do when presented with songcord beads, clothes, and other gifts."

She tries to smile hopefully, but her eyebrows scrunch together with uncertainty, "Is that... a bad thing?"

"No," he shakes his head with a fond, reassuring smile, "It just means we need to be more blunt."

Her stomach flips as though she is freediving from her ikran, her tail briefly twitching in her lap to show off her anxiety before she manages to pull it back under control. She swallowed thickly when her throat suddenly felt dry, her eyes darting away from Tonowari's before they could express something they shouldn't.

Ronal's voice was closer than before, the hairs on the back of Kayla's neck standing up when she felt the other woman breathe directly into her ear, "Do you wish to muntxa si, Makayla?"

She wanted to shy away from Ronal, to raise her shoulder up and pull her head down when the tsahik's close proximity proved to be too much for her nerves to handle. Both clan leaders have completely stopped braiding and have pulled their hands out of her hair, but didn't return their touch to themselves. Instead, their fingers lingered on Kayla, either brushing lightly over her shoulders and knees, places that they deemed respectful enough not to scare her away. When Kayla tries to take a deep breath in, she is suddenly aware of their scents, mixed together as one, invading her nose. She decided that she needed to breathe less, or else she'd go dizzy.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember what that means." Yes, she does, but she thought it almost sounded like a dream. She needed to outright hear it.

Ronal's amusement was evident in her voice even though Kayla couldn't see her, "Do you wish to mate?"

Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth even as she managed to pull through a proper response without giving too much of her inner thoughts away, "I don't think that's on the table for me anytime soon. Or ever."

"Why?"

"Why would it?"

"It could be. If you feel the same for us as we do for you."

"... What?" Kayla now looks directly over her shoulder, regretting it when her nose gently brushed against Ronal's, not realizing just how close the other woman sat behind her. Ronal's hairless brow rises expectedly, eyes shining with mirth and a certain youth Kayla has never seen in her before. For a moment, it reminded her of a giddy Tsireya.

Tonowari was not so easily forgotten either, one of his hands absently brushing some of the new braids over Kayla's shoulder, lingering at the juncture of her neck, causing more goosebumps to rise in his wake as she did her best not to shiver. 

It felt as though her mind was running through a hundred thoughts per minute, that fatal organ in her chest betraying any sort of logical thinking trying to make its way into her brain. While Kayla may have looked composed -and a little surprised- on the outside, the inside was riddled with inner turmoil, parts of her body trying to fight for dominance in a nauseating dance. Parts of her blew up like fireworks, overjoyed and celebratory, while the rest of her was filled with anxiety, doubt, and the most unimaginable fear. She wanted to dispute Ronal's words; wanting to refuse and say she did not feel the same, no matter how painful it would be to lie. In her head, Kayla knew it would be for the best. She couldn't be involved with them-- involved in their beautiful lives and slice of paradise, no matter how badly she wanted to.

She wished she could bolt, but realized that these clan leaders were smart, purposely keeping her hostage under their undivided attention to her hair braids and beads, trapping her here underneath their eyes and their words.

"You must have noticed our attempt to court you," Tonowari stated with a knowing expression.

She thinly smiled before it quickly faded, as well as her eagerness to refuse them, "I have, but... I didn't want to assume. You told me to not come off as useless when we first met, so I just... I've just been trying my best to help you both out any way I can so that I'm doing my part for the village. I guess I assumed that you've had me helping you so you could keep an eye on me. "

Tonowari winced, regretting the words he spoke when they first met, knowing that it likely played into why Kayla wasn't as open to his and Ronal's courting, "You are vital to our village now, Makayla. You help this clan flourish and thrive through your kindness and determination. These are traits we admire about you, and it's why we always seek out your company. Not because we think you are useless and need a helping hand." 

"But... I am not Metkayina. I am not even Omatikaya. You can deny it all you want, but I'm still one of the Sky People, a dreamwalker," she scoffs with a small look of disdain as she stares off to the side, "No one in their right mind would want to start a family with a demon."

Tonowari tilts his head, "Are you saying Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'ite is not of sound mind?"

"That's different," Kayla waves him off, "Jake is different. Jake fully completed his Iknimaya. He passed through the Eye of Eywa and returned, born again in his Na'vi body. He... He can't even be considered a dreamwalker anymore. He buried his demon body a long time ago. I'm not like Jake. I'm still tied to my demon form and my old way of life, a life I don't plan on trying to forget as easily as my brother. My people hate your people."

She then looks back over her shoulder at Ronal, "Up until recently, you hated my people."

"I still do," Ronal corrects, immediately softening her words when she notices shame flash over Kayla's eyes, "But I don't look at you and see the Sky People. I look at you and see Makayla te Suli tsmuke te Toruk Makto. You fought beside us to protect our children. You saved my life. You learned our ways. Your nephew lies with our ancestors. In the Eye of Eywa, you are now Her daughter, even if you still walk Her breast in a demon body."

Kayla's denial was stubborn and eager as she vehemently shook her head with defiance, "My demon body is why you shouldn't choose me as your mate, among so many other things. Unless you're ready to understand my way of life, I don't want to burden you with it. Try to remember that I can't always be here. I'll have to leave sometimes, and it could be weeks on end. It would be difficult being with me." 

Her head movement stops the moment a hand the size of her skull gently rises and slips into place, resting on the side of her head. Kayla's eyes widened as Tonowari softly moved her head so that her gaze landed on his, silencing all of her rambling thoughts as she got lost in the blue oceans of his eyes. While he wasn't smiling, he was being genuine, showing his sincerity by speaking as clearly as he possibly could, his booming voice rattling in her head, "The best things in life are usually difficult, but that's why they are so rewarding."

Both of Ronal's hands move to rest on both of Kayla's shoulders now that the avatar's breath is taken away, unable to respond, "If you do not wish for us to pursue you, just say the word, and we'll stop."

That was surprising to Kayla and it got her voice to return, ears moving in all directions out of shock, "Really?"

"Yes," Tonowari assured with a stiff nod, "We would never force you to mate with us, knowing that once you do, it would be for life. But do not try to stop us if you're worried that we would only See a part of you, not all of you. We want to know you better, to understand the world you come from and how you came to be the woman you are today. We have discussed this in detail, and we agree that you are worth many obstacles that will no doubt be in our way."

At the mention of obstacles, a thought crossed her mind, "And that includes Spider, right?"

"Of course it does." He says this confidently, without hesitation.

"Does it?" Her own doubt is replaced with a small barrier of protection, eager to shield the child in her care as she finds herself sternly looking between the two clan leaders, "Because I don't want you to pretend and treat him normally if all you're going to see is a demon child. If you only pretend to See him just to be with me, then I can't accept this. He's my responsibility, and I intend on always putting the kid first from now on."

"We know..." Kayla's spine stiffened, not because of Ronal's words, but because of the tsahik's hand slowly running a soft, barely-there line down her back with the very tips of her fingers, "And we admire you for that. We want Spider in our lives as well."

Tonowari nods in agreement, "The boy is loyal to those who choose to love him and not to those who are simply related to him. He earns his respect and his place here in our village. He is also a child who deserves a family to properly care for him. The Na'vi don't believe in letting children fend for themselves. Even when they have no one left to care for them, the village as a whole makes sure that the child grows up loved. Spider should have been properly adopted by members of the Omatikaya clan ages ago."

"No kidding," Kayla muttered under her breath, a pang of anger beating in her chest, directed at everyone who wronged such a spirited, kind child. 

But just like that, those thoughts went away, expunged from her mind at the faint touch of Ronal's hand moving down Kayla's arm. Kayla's fingers twitched with anticipation, but she didn't dare move even as Ronal's fingers slowly entwined with hers. Ronal's fingers move with precision and determination, hooking her smallest finger with Kayla's pinky, the strange extra finger that once disgusted her. Kayla tried to stay perfectly still while the tsahik's voice was still rough in her ear, "If you feel the same for us as we do for you, then say you will perform tsaheylu with us instead of trying to spare us from something you think is not worth fighting for. If you want to say no, then do so for the right reasons."

Kayla sucks in a sharp breath of air before shakily exhaling it out, trying to calm her racing heart. While their reassurances were nice to hear, there was still a sliver of doubt wedged in the back of her mind, smaller than before but still loud, not wanting to be ignored. It reminded her of all her insecurities and hardships that she still needed to work through, and despite Ronal and Tonowari's words, her doubt tried to beat her down and say that they would never be with her every step of the way. Deep down, she will never be one of them, so even if they stayed by her side... it won't be for long because, in the end, everyone always leaves her. 

At the same time, her heart was screaming at her to say yes; to agree to everything they were saying because it's obviously all that she wants and more. A family. She never thought she'd gain such a thing by agreeing to learn the ways of the Na'vi. Then again... she didn't think she'd gain anything when she started learning the ways of the Na'vi, and yet here she was, owing it all to her new way of life for what the Metkayina clan leaders were offering her. 

In the end, the Na'vi are precisely why she gave her answer as she took a deep breath, "I feel the same. I do. I feel the same for both of you... but I'm not ready. I want to do this right. I want to take this slow. I know I'm asking a lot... with the war coming and your baby on the way. But I want to officially become true Na'vi before anything else. I still haven't completed my Iknimaya. Every person is born twice, right? I have yet to be born a second time; to earn my place among the People forever. Tradition states that only then will I be able to choose a mate, right? You want to learn my ways, but I also want to learn yours. I want to do this right. Let me do this right." 

They sat and listened to her, and in the end, wide smiles graced both of their faces. Neither of them appeared disappointed by Kayla's answer. In fact, they almost looked proud of her decision, the expressions on both of their faces would've easily made her knees weak had she been standing.

Ronal's hand squeezes hers, "We accept your terms, Makayla."

"Nothing would make us happier," Tonowari's hand moves, Kayla's ear flicking in the direction of the hand in question but otherwise doesn't acknowledge it. His hand slides off the side of her face, and while her skin now feels cool from where he once was, his fingers trail down the side of her neck and down her shoulder before gently grasping her arm, where his palm immediately warms up her skin once more. Kayla watched his face carefully, noting the way his eyes seemed to scan over her figure, causing a pleasant shiver to run up her spine, her heart giving no indication of slowing down. Finally, Tonowari's deep ocean eyes find her honey-colored ones, and she felt as though she was being sucked into the void as those same eyes started to inch closer and closer.

"May I?"

The breath he lets out with his question brushes over Kayla's chin, her mouth parting slightly as she tries to gain more air to slow her heart rate down. She didn't mean for her eyelashes to flutter, but she definitely caught Tonowari shamelessly watching the act and decided she wasn't ashamed either. She nods once, unable to form a word as he leans closer until she knows that the air she's breathing is his as well. Instinctively, she closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable.

Her left ear twitched when Tonowari leaned into the side of her face with his, gently rubbing them together as he loudly inhaled a slow, long strain of air through his nose. Kayla opened her eyes, frowning out of curiosity. At first, she thought he was leaning in to kiss her, but it wasn't until Ronal had moved her newly braided hair off her shoulder and started to do the same to the right side of her face that something in her brain finally clicked. 

Her nose was bombarded with a mixture of smells now beginning to seep into her skin-- their scents, blended together and with hers, as the way it should be. Kayla felt dizzy, as though their scenting had some sort of drugging effect, but in a desirable way that made her feel high, proud to be branded by these two beautiful Na'vi.

She almost lost her resolve then and there, wanting to forget what she said about waiting, but she managed to push through. Always resilient, but no longer when it came to her future mated pair.

A/N:

Jake: Don't judge my parenting until you become a parent yourself.

Kayla, about to adopt Spider, Ao'nung, Tsireya, and their unborn sibling: 'Aight. Bet.

[m-o-l-d]

Werewolves Timber, a tired druid, and Eirwen, an energetic necromancer, embark on a journey to undo a magic bond accidentally set by an act of good will.

Together they will learn what life has to offer...

or

Together, they will die trying...

FULL STORY CHRONO First Part

CHAPTER 1--Ties That Bind || Chrono | First Part Ask Block #1 || Chrono | First Part CHAPTER 2--Blessed Snow || Chrono | First Part

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

WARNING

IN TIME, THIS BLOG WILL CONTAIN THE FOLLOWING THEMES, MENTIONS, AND IMAGERY:

DEATH INJURY/BLOOD VIOLENCE SUICIDAL IDEATION SEXUAL ASSAULT MISCARRIAGE SPIRITUAL/SOUL DISCUSSION. (Not really in a Christian sense, but I'll try to tag it as such if it gets too close.) CHILD ABUSE CHILD NEGLECT CHILD INJURY/ENDANGERMENT CHILD DEATH

I will do my absolute best to tag and warn appropriately for each part. If ever one is missing a tag/warning you think it needs, please kindly let me know in the comments or over on my main blog, @loupy-mongoose. I am human, relatively naive, and my mental filter doesn't always work the way I wish it would. ^^

To those ready to take those themes, welcome! I hope you enjoy the story to come! ^w^ And to those who choose to skip this blog altogether for ANY reason, I completely understand, and wish you a wonderful day! <3

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

EXTRA THINGS

-Tag for Lore related to this story HERE

-Extra character information can be found HERE

-Closer look at twins Timber and Brook here, in case you have trouble telling them apart.

-AU exploration HERE

-Extra art related to MOLD HERE

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

List of tags relevant to the above topics if you wish to block: (putting it under a bar for space saving reasons--I will add to it if needed)

#TW: Death -- #TW: Injury -- #TW: implied injury -- #TW: Blood -- #TW: Violence -- #TW: Suicide -- #TW: Suicidal Ideation -- #TW: Suicide Mention -- #TW: Sexual Assault -- #TW: SA -- #TW: SA Mention -- #TW: Miscarriage (I haven't seen that one mentioned as a trigger, but just in case.) -- #TW: Christianity (If it comes up, but I don't expect it to.) -- #TW: Child Abuse -- #TW: Child Neglect -- #TW: Child injury -- #TW: Child Endangerment -- #TW: Child Death

[delimeful]

the end of being alone (6)

remember how this installment was mostly fluff up until this point? we'll get back to that! 

... just not this chapter <3

part 2: how does a kid end up stranded in space, anyhow?

warnings: bad self care, illness, panic, child in distress, minor injury, non-consensual drug use, trafficking, unethical imprisonment and treatment of prisoners, child endangerment, implied offscreen minor character death, ambiguous character fates, this is a heavy tearjerker chapter but it does have a hopeful ending, lmk if i missed any

-

Virgil’s condition hadn’t improved.

They’d tried as many non-medicinal techniques as they could, struggling to figure out what would help and what would harm an unpredictable biological system that they barely understood.

Nothing had helped. Nothing was working.

And each time Virgil woke up to the sight of the ship around him, he wept and struggled and shouted, burning through his meager energy and only worsening his health.

He didn’t respond to heartfelt pleas from any of them, rarely even seeming to understand they were in the room with him. His stare was distant and terrified, his mind somewhere else, and each time it happened, Logan wanted to understand how to help so badly.

So, after several cycles without sleep and with the pressure of increasing desperation weighing heavy on his head, he finally succumbed to the deeply unwise impulse to start a Vidi.

He’d only wanted to understand what Virgil was yelling, try and grasp the reason behind his fear in the hopes that they could abate it, even slightly.

The moment he’d made contact, however, his mind had been dragged into a memory with intense force, the metaphorical handles of the Vidi ripped away, leaving him unable to steer and barely able to move.

His fingers twitched with the urge to pull away, but he stopped himself. It could hurt Virgil, and he’d endured plenty of traumatic memories before. He could handle this.

With a blink, he was looking through a much younger set of eyes.

—

The ship came during the summer.

Virgil remembered, because he’d been reviewing holidays and important events with his class before the break, and his half-birthday was coming up in a week!

His birthday was in winter, so his half birthday was in the opposite season, summer! He’d said as much before trying to debate his way into a trip to the park with his friends, and failing miserably.

So, he’d snuck out. And gotten himself lost between one turn of the neighborhood and the next.

He’d run into one of his neighbors, who’d been more than a little concerned to see him wandering around alone, especially because there had apparently been some people disappearing lately.

“Where did they go?” he’d asked, and gotten an uncomfortable reassurance, which definitely wasn’t an answer.

He’d frowned, tried to ask again, but his neighbor had gone quiet and grey-faced, staring at something over his shoulder. Before he could turn to see, there was a sharp thunk, and a bright bolt of pain in his shoulder.

There was a high, crackling scream, which was bad, but Virgil couldn’t keep his eyes open long enough to figure out where it came from. A pair of warm hands caught him when he staggered, and then he was out.

He barely recalled what happened next, the memories fragmented like someone had taken a hammer to them. He didn’t want to think about them, but he kept the pieces close and tucked away anyhow, knowing they were important even though they hurt.

He felt flickers of awareness, the sensation of eyes rolling against heavy eyelids, a rapid pulse pounding away in his ears like a big drum, angry and fearful shouting barely audible beyond the clamor.

And then: the barest glimpse of the docking port of a ship from the inside, the entrance ramp folding up and sealing away the green trees and blue sky on the other side. Replacing the brief vision of home with cold metal and unearthly lights.

There weren’t any warm hands holding him, now.

His whimper turned nearly soundless on the way up his throat, but it drew the attention of his captors regardless.

A rush of unfamiliar language above him, another flood of numbness spreading through him, but even from that one fragmented moment, Virgil understood that they were taking him away.

Another blank period, like dipping one's head briefly underwater, and then he was waking up again.

“Easy, baby,” a familiar voice said, a hand stroking through his hair, slow and gentle. “You’re okay, you’re alright.”

“Miss Susan?” Virgil asked, and his voice came out small and crackling. He coughed, trying to force his crusted over eyelashes apart with a growing sense of panic.

“Hey, I need some water for the kid!” Miss Susan called lowly, before setting a hand against his back and helping him shuffle upright. “Take it slow, baby, don’t choke. There we go.”

Virgil opened his eyes and got his first look at the room he’d be stuck in for the next several months.

It was dimly lit, and smelled bad. The floor was metal, with a few thin stripes of grating, like a shower drain. The walls were made of tinted plastic and covered with sharp-edged wire netting, and there were a whole bunch of people inside with him and Miss Susan.

They all spoke to him at one point or another, but he only remembered some of their names. The thought made his stomach twist painfully, and he clamped down on the sensation.

He couldn’t be sick. Being sick was bad.

The time shifted, Miss Susan still at his side but her hair longer and her skin sallower. They were all seated, tired from the cold and the dark and the gross food that he wasn’t allowed to throw up.

Mister Ben was coughing, hard and rasping and wet, one after another. A few people were crouched near him, talking to him in hushed voices as they tried to coax him into stopping, but his body curled in and convulsed like he couldn’t control the coughs at all.

Before long, there was a clang, and a spraying sound like that time a fire hydrant down the road had been busted open. A few people stood between the door and Mister Ben, but the room grew more and more hazy with the thick air that made his legs go all numb, and they were swaying with the effort of staying upright.

Virgil knew by now what happened next. He turned and pressed his face against Miss Susan’s side, and she drew him close and held him tightly as the suits came in.

The aliens were always wearing them when they came into sight. Thick rubbery suits with dark-tinted visors, each with an electric zapper in hand. They’d drag the sick one out, and Virgil would never see them again.

“Leave him alone!” Miss Susan cried, joined by the rising voices of the rest of their roommates. “Don’t touch him, you leave him the fuck alone!”

Virgil kept not looking, but he said it too, into the worn fabric of Miss Susan’s blouse. “Leave him alone, don’t touch him, leave him alone, don’t touch him, leave him alone…,”

It didn’t work. It never did. The aliens didn’t listen to them, and they made them weak and floaty if they tried to intervene.

His voice cracked as he kept repeating it, even as the door clanged again and the hiss of air stopped. If he didn’t look up, he could pretend that Mister Ben was still there, only quiet because he was all better from his cough.

"It's okay. I know. It's alright, honey." Miss Susan’s hands shook as they stroked carefully through his hair, soothing him to sleep through the last of his hiccuped sobs.

Everyone who spoke to him was kind, even when they were unhappy. When Miss Susan slept but he was awake, Mister Aaron would invent word games to play or Miss Kelsey would challenge him to push up contests, and they would all take turns trying to think of the worst possible combinations of foods to compare to their mush food.

The best was Miss Susan, though. When he was bored, she would tell him stories about her nieces and nephews, and the farm she grew up on, and silly people at her job before they got taken. When he couldn’t sleep, she would hum whichever parts of lullabies she could remember.

Even when he got sad and didn’t want to move or talk at all, she would hold him close and poke at his side and gasp about seeing the firefly that had snuck onboard with them, until he had no choice but to wiggle free and inspect every corner for its light.

The other adults would spot it every once in a while, too, and try to point it out to him. He never saw it, which he would report back to Miss Susan every time.

“Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there,” she’d tell him, waving at the dark ceiling of the room. “Glowbugs can’t be bright all the time.”

“Why not?”

“Well, they’d get too hot and sweaty. They’d have to go swim in the ocean, and then they’d probably all turn into anglerfish,” Miss Susan said, even though she hadn’t known what an anglerfish was until Virgil had told her everything he could remember about them.

“No way,” he said, laughing despite himself. “Bugs can’t turn into fish!”

“Maybe they just get too tired, then,” Miss Susan said, ruffling his hair. “It must be exhausting, being so bright.”

She went quiet for a moment, and Virgil leaned into her touch, squinting at the dark corners and willing the bug to show itself.

“Even when they’re blending in with the dark, though, they’re still there,” Miss Susan finally continued. “So don’t give up. You’ve just gotta trust in it, and eventually, you’ll spot it.”

“I want eventually to be now,” Virgil had responded, petulant as he flopped against her side, eyes growing heavy.

Miss Susan pet his head, humming quietly until he was almost asleep. She let out a big sigh, and when she spoke, her voice was quiet. “You and me both, kid.”

And then it was the last day.

He knew because Miss Susan’s hands were carefully cupping his face, coaxing him into waking up with a careful tap to the nose. They never woke him up on purpose, because 'growing kids needed their rest', except for the last day.

Virgil felt his brow scrunch with confusion even before his eyelids started fluttering, and Miss Susan chuckled and pressed her lips to the crown of his head for a moment.

“Come on, baby, wake up. It’s important, okay?”

He forced himself to open his eyes and keep them open, a little unease running down his spine.

Everyone had been scared, lately. Their group had shrunk in number, their room had been moved onto a bigger ship, and there were distant sounds of crowds at all hours, making his skin prickle with nerves when he was trying to sleep.

Some of their roommates were really smart, and they’d started puzzling out the words of the alien language from the ship directions that were given over the intercom and the overheard conversations of those passing by or rudely peeking in at them.

They’d taught Virgil some of them, whenever he was awake enough to remember. The words they whispered now weren’t ones he’d learned yet, though.

‘Transfer’ and ‘auction’. Everyone disliked them, felt too upset or angry about them to explain, even Miss Susan. Or maybe they just didn’t want to explain them to him, like they wouldn’t tell him what the aliens did with people when they got taken away. There had been a lot of arguing and shouting in low voices, trying to keep him from overhearing.

But now, they were waking him up.

Virgil let himself be coaxed to his feet, following Miss Susan over to the corner where everyone stood in a huddle, the tallest of them on the outside.

“Okay, sweetie. I need you to listen to me very closely, alright?” she told him, turning him to face the corner where they usually kept extra clothes in a pile. “You’re going to have to be very brave for me, okay?”

The clothes had been moved. There was a hole in the wall, where the netting had been peeled back. The edges of it were rough and curved like they’d been made with fingernails, like it had been painstakingly carved through one scratch at a time.

It was a small hole, barely the size of a vent, or a cat flap. Virgil could probably fit through it, but he was the only one.

“No,” Virgil shook his head immediately. “I don’t want to! I’m scared.”

Miss Susan squatted to be level with him, holding his hand in hers. “I know, honey. But it’s important, okay? We’re going to get out and find you, but you have to go first and stay safe until we do. I’ll send our little glowbug with you, and it’ll light the way in the dark.”

“What about your dark?” Virgil asked, rubbing harshly at his stinging eyes.

Miss Susan softened, pulled his hand away and smoothed a thumb over his cheekbone. “Oh, baby. I’ve seen that glowbug a hundred times, here with you. I’ll be okay without it for a little while.”

Virgil turned to look at the hole again, imagining a little firefly crawling through with him so he wouldn’t be alone.

“Do you promise?” he asked, and Miss Susan pulled him into a hug so tight, it felt like it squished all the air from him.

“I promise,” she said, and her hands shook a little but her voice was steady. Virgil smushed his face against her shoulder for the last time.

“Okay. I’ll— I’ll go.”

The barrier of bodies around them seemed to relax, just slightly, though it still took Miss Susan a few moments longer to release him.

They told him everything he needed to know, everyone chiming in. That he had to run, as fast and as far as he could, and be sneaky and quiet when he was too tired to run. That he should find hiding places and hole up in them, wait until nobody was around to keep running.

That he should always hide from aliens, even if they weren't wearing the suits. That he should never let them see him, because they hated humans. That if they did grab him, he could do whatever he needed to do to get away.

“Just like stranger danger, right, buddy? You can bite, kick, scream, whatever you need to do.”

Virgil nodded, trying to push down the sick, stressed feeling in his gut, and when there was finally no advice left to give, he turned to the gash in the wall.

Wiggling through it was hard, because there were still sharp, poky bits that scratched at his skin and the inside of the wall was dark and stifling, but every time he wanted to stop, he could hear the encouragement of everyone else, who was still stuck inside.

There was a little bug with him, he reminded himself. If he closed his eyes and froze up, he wouldn’t ever be able to see it glow.

Finally, he squirmed free of the last few inches, dropping onto the floor of a very small dark room with shelves in it, like a linen closet. He turned back to face the hole, calling out, and Miss Susan reached an arm through.

He grabbed for her hand and pressed his face to it, clung to her for a long moment, his breaths stuttering as she cradled him the best she could.

There was a muffled clang, and Miss Susan ran her wavering thumb over his cheekbone one more time before pulling away.

“Run, Virgil. Now. Run!”

So he did.

He ran and hid, just like they told him, but he picked the wrong place to hide because it was part of another ship, and it took him far away. He kept running, pulled himself into tiny little nooks on spaceship after spaceship, snuck food wherever he could get it and only ever whispered to his invisible firefly.

Eventually, he left a ship and there were no other ships around to board, only the wide landscape of a different planet, full of weird trees and weird animals and a weird town that he fled from. No more ships came, and that was fine because he didn’t want to run anymore. He wanted to stay and wait for them to find him.

He laid on his back and faced the sky, searching for a sign that they were coming. He was hungry and tired and lonely.

The stars above looked just like fireflies, hundreds of them. Enough for all of them to watch together. Except there wasn’t a ‘them’. It was only him.

Virgil felt his face growing hot, his throat closing up at the thought. It was too frightening to be alone.

No, he wasn’t alone. He wasn’t. He had their firefly with him, somewhere next to him in the grass.

“Just because I can’t see them, doesn’t mean they’re not there,” Virgil said to himself sternly, and rolled back to his feet.

He would find something to eat, somewhere to sleep, and he would wait. They would find him. They would find him. They would…

—

When Logan finally eased the mental connection closed and pulled himself free, he found there was a low, buzzing keen building in the back of his throat. The sort of sound he hadn’t made since he himself was a child.

Virgil still lay there unconscious, but his cheeks were shiny and damp with tears. Logan reached out, ignoring the heat radiating from the pupa’s skin, and gently smoothed a narrow finger over his cheek, wiping the wetness away as best he could.

It didn’t do much, but the crinkle in Virgil’s brow seemed to ease just slightly at the sensation.

Roman paced by again, pausing at the sight. “Specs? Is the kid alright? …Are you alright?”

Logan wondered what Roman would think about the fact that Humans and Crav’n had more in common culturally than he would have ever guessed. That an entire group of Humans had given up their only boon for the slim chance of getting the only child present to safety.

No time to waste, now. That conversation would have to wait until they’d launched.

“Let Patton know we’re leaving, and meet me in the navigation area,” he instructed, already turning to leave. “I’m going to clear our landing area for departure.”

“What— I thought we agreed it was a bad idea to actually leave?” Roman asked, glancing between Logan and Virgil with visible worry.

“It’s a worse idea to sit here and wait,” he replied firmly, and then he was down the hall and out the hanger door, ignoring the shiver of secondhand trepidation that Virgil’s mind had left in his.

He circled the ship, placing the warding discs that would keep their launch area organism-free down one by one, and then paused at the sight of a familiar creature standing by the main entrance hatch.

It was a Humlilt, one with a distinct little white splotch on its head. Logan was fairly certain that it was the one who had stood between them and Virgil during their second meeting, the most loyal of the bunch, only proved further by the way it had been waiting outside the ship since Virgil had been taken aboard.

Logan was also fairly certain that Virgil had named this one Susan, after his neighbor. The Human who’d taken care of him, in those memories.

“You’ve taken care of him, too, haven’t you?” he asked, still far too affected by the painful sympathy that had washed over him post-Vidi.

The Humlilt stamped a hoof and trumpeted at him warningly as he neared, still obviously holding a grudge at them for stealing Virgil away.

Logan attempted to rationalize himself out of the decision he was about to make, and utterly failed.

—

It took some digging and reaching out to a few of Logan’s less savory contacts, but the ship was on its way to a waypoint station that was rumored to have a Human expert in residence. It could have been a trap, a lie meant to lure interested parties into an attack, but they were going to have to risk it.

The three of them had all agreed to the plan. They wouldn’t be able to live with themselves otherwise.

Now that they were in transit, Logan sat down with his two closest friends, and began to explain just what he’d learned about their kid.

A few rooms down in the medical bay, a half-conscious Human reached out a feverish hand and found a small, fluffy presence curled up at his side.

The Humlilt crooned a few notes, sounding just like the aimless lullabies its namesake used to hum.

For the first time since boarding the ship, Virgil breathed a little easier.

[thedeafprophet]

The Captivating Princess: An Overview

As I have been pondering that most content around The Princess is not easily accessible, I have decided to do a little write up on who she is. This will not be unbiased - many are aware of my in depth views here- but hopefully it will provide a good summary.

I will try to keep it light, but there will be some ES spoilers in here. Discusisons of information from: The Gift, Say It With Flowers, Reunion, and A Crown Of Thorns, plus some references to Sunless Skies. I intend to mostly focus on who she is in Fallen London though, not in skies.

Who Is She?

'At the very front, cross-legged on the floor, sits the Playful Prodigy. She has the cheeks of a cherub and blue, mischievous eyes. In her arms is a baby, wrapped in a black swaddling-cloth: presumably the Captivating Princess.' - The Gift

The Captivating Princess in universe is The Traitor Empresses' youngest child. Unlike the other royal children, she is an entierly fictional character, and does not have a real world counter part. She was born the year of the fall, 1862, making her around 37 in 1899 (or more accuratly, 40 as of 1902).

She is the most social of her family, frequently seen outside the Palace while her siblings are not . She can be found in both upper society functions, and sauntering down into the.... less savourey locations in London. She does so love to mingle. She is throughougly beloved by the people despite her collection of scandal, and is an extremely popular figure within society - captivates them, if you will.

The player can become aquainted with her at The Feast of The Rose, should you wish to spending some masquing at the Duchess' Banquet. She is also who helps you return to court in the making your name: persuasive arc. She does so have a penchant for the arts...

Most of all she is noted for her habit of honey - both the rumour of her having her own honey-den in veilgarden... and other, less savoury aspects around such.

The rest of the overview below the cut will be going into more detailed, more spoiler heavy, and dark matters

Content warnings: Child/infant endangerment, drug use, torture, bees mention

Matters Of The Palace And The Honey

'No one will tell you what happened, but the word 'traitor' is whispered in the palace corridors. You cry for your mother, and someone gives you a jar and a spoon to quiet you.' -A Crown Of Thorns

One cannot begin to go into the rest of The Princess' character without first going over the issue of the red honey. To go over the entire lore surronding red honey would be a whole post on its own, so i will give just a brief run down here.

Gaoler's honey, which is called red honey for the colour of its hue, is an eviler version of prionser's honey. It is made when bees crawl through people's mind, made of their memories. It is excrustiatingly painful for the victim, who relives the pain every time the honey produced from them is consumed. The Palace contains its own set of 'cage gardens' where people are imprisoned and their memories collected. Cheery, right?

The Princess and her family have all consumed the red honey, the whole of The Palace seeming to have taken to if very soon after the fall. How they got it so quickly after the fall, I don't know, but they seemed to have a lot of it going around.

Its likely The Princess was fed it from infancy, alongside her siblings and other family members. Text implies in general the children in the palace were heavily neglected after the fall, even being given the drugs to make them be quiet. Its...well, an utterly horrible image of how those kids were treated.

Oh yea and it turned all The Princess' siblings into horrifying monsters. The details around what happened are unclear, but it seems to be some connection between the frequent consumption and a 'bad batch' that did Something to the royal children, turning all but The Princess into physically monstrous forms. And most are still consuming it. 10/10, another great move by the british royal family.

It is very likely it is why she is as she is today. Whatever she is, she's not exactly human. She continues to consume it regularly, and on occasion 'shares' it with others.

What Exactly Is She

'Only the Captivating Princess looks as she did in the mirror. Among the nightmares, her beauty is worst of all. It rakes your eyes like fire. ' -The Gift

 "The change imposed by the Red Honey was a gift. As it was to me. The rest of our family proved... inadequate to the wonders on offer." - Reunion

I don't... know. Not really. Sunless skies has her shedding her skin and revealing a bee-like monster underneath, but that was after some considerable other lore stuff and in a different game, and i dont consider it directly applying with in FL.

Within the neath at least, The Princess is quite powerful. Not just for her political role and image as the beloved princess, but also for her seeming power of persuasion and adoration. Her beauty is considered maddening, everything pales to her existence, and its hard not to just immediatly fall to your knees and do every single thing she's asked of you~

Which while i'm sure is a common experience for some around pretty women, is clearly an indication of some sort of mental power here.

She's also considerably stronger then she looks, and i surely do not believe most would stand a chance against her in a physical fight. Nor do i personally believe simple weapons would do much to harm her.

'The Princess' expression curdles. She shoves the table, which sends plates spinning to the floor. She treads on meat as she advances. She has dropped the knife. She does not need it.' - Reunion

Matters Of Morality And Personality

'She points at the Spinster. "I had to compel her from retirement. Since her fiancee is my maid, I had leverage. She should have just done as I asked. Clearly, there's something wrong with her." - Say It With Flowers

The Princess is entitled, cruel, and uncaring towards others. Everything you'd expect from a british royal, but with the added effect of being literarly monstrous instead of just metaphorically. She evidently always expects to get what she wants and has a tendance towards aiming for suffering just for the sake of watching others suffer. And thats without getting in how her frequent use of red honey is directly causing extreme harm to the victims.

All of this tends to be hidden under her vaneer of sweetness. She acts so lovely and sweet and kind, and would do as she was sentencing someone to death. And that is something she'd be inclined to do. She has a penachant towards pet names, and is overly touchey/doesnt seem to care much at all about boundaries. Why would she?

'The Captivating Princess holds your chin in her sharp nailed hand. She stares, intently, at your face. ' - Say It With Flowers

'A happy voice rouses you. Delicate fingers are stroking your hair. "I knew you'd be perfect. So curious. So bold. So resolute. Thank you, for exceeding my estimation."' -The Gift

The Princess is also quick to change moods, becoming angry if she doesnt get her way, or becoming extremely bored rather quickly. If she's not interested in something, she's inclined to leave right away or ignore it, or find some other matter to entertain herself. She also doesn't get along with her family, having an intense rivlavry with one of her brothers (The Brooding Captain), and will often aim to sabotage and manipulate her siblings and other family members. Not to even get into what rumors surrond her suitors, most notably around their deaths...

The things and way she is in skies is all the more.... extreme.

Aims and Motivation

While its hard to say why she does a lot of other things, The Princess does seem to actually have an interest in the arts. When she ran for mayor in 1896, her slogan was “Make London Magnificent For Me.”, and her platform was pushing more for the public arts. Indeed, throughout her appearances in the games, art does seem to truly be an area she's interested in.

Beyond everything else though, The Princess is completely, and utterly bored. She cares little for the lives of those around her, and seems to take great pleasure in the suffering of others, and seemingly this is all related to The Princess' aim for entertainment.

'"Honestly? I'm entirely bored. I am either fawned on or feared, or – worst of all – pawed at by the infatuated. Everyone believes they know me, because of my family."' -1896 Election text

and.... well. If i'm to put my own word in here, I think in her own way, The Princess is lonely.

'And..." She hesitates for a moment. Her last words are hurried. "This is not a gift that should be borne alone."' - Reunion

The earlier line from the election speaks of being pawed at - that her boredom comes from either being fawned or feared, implying no one is truly looking at her. Two of her storylines tentivly involve trying to make another character be What She Is, that she not be alone in this.

She has done many cruel and vicious things, that is of note, but one can't help but think of the inherent tragedy of her character. Never once having a chance to be anything other then she is, being raised in a household that found it suitable to give drugs to children to get them to stop crying. Of never really having anyone like or love you, to everyone fawning at you immediatly with no true level of connection.

In short: The Princess is a horrible cruel woman, and there is an inherent tragey in the fact that she exists the way she does at all.

[baronessvonglitter]

if love be rough with you, be rough with love | chapter 8 | "i want you to notice when i'm not around"

Dave York x f!Reader

Word count: 1,548

Summary: you keep your distance from Dave while you try to fill your life with other meaningful things, but guys like him always find a way back..

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, child abuse and implied domestic abuse by reader's father (no actual violence occurs but there is child endangerment), angst

Author's Note: basically we're getting a look at the reader's childhood, giving us insight to her mental state and her viewpoint of the world. On a lighter note, I was just riffing on what Dave's IG handle would be, as I wanted it to be something the reader would recognize as him. If there is a real dy.cranberry I apologize for the confusion 😝

Series Masterlist

You were eight years old and your family had just left your ballet recital. Your parents, recently separated, left in separate cars. Your younger brother went with your mom, the safe option, and because you didn't want him to feel bad, you let your dad drive you home. Still in your pale pink ballet costume and diamond tiara, a bouquet of roses that your father had given you rests in your arms like a newborn baby. Princess, your father called you, and you truly felt like one. He praised your dancing, the graceful way you kept up with the music while the other girls wobbled about aimlessly. "I think I want to be a ballerina when I grow up," you told him proudly. He looked at you a moment, trying to keep his eyes ahead as sheets of rain came from out of nowhere, obscuring his view of the road. "You can do whatever you want to, Princess. But your mom shouldn't have put all that makeup shit on your face." You'd forgotten about the body glitter and fuchsia lipstick she'd put on you to give some extra pizzazz, and it was nice to see your mom smiling for once as she applied the makeup to your face. "She did that just to piss me off," he muttered to himself. Uncomfortable, you look out the window at the streaming rain. This was a common thing with your dad. He cursed so casually, made threats as easily as he breathed. You could ignore it for a certain amount of time, but there was always that coil in your belly that made you feel like you were going to throw up. You couldn't defend yourself. You were eight. "Your mom doesn't want me back in the house. But you do, don't you, Princess?" He stroked your hair. Your dad had never done anything inappropriate, but you always worried that one day he would take it too far, that one more vodka would push him to that edge that would leave you with scars both physical and emotional. It was hard enough walking that fine line just to keep him happy. For once you defended you mom. "Mom seems happy.. I just want her to be happy." Your dad sped up on the rainy street. As he flew by, other cars honked, swerved out of the way. His anger was directed at you. "And what about me? You don't love me anymore? You love your mom more? Is that it? You little bitch." He sped through a red light and you felt like at any moment you would die. Tears coursed down your cheeks. Your mind went into overdrive as your young brain processed the danger you were in as well as the insults being hurled at you. When you cried instead of answering him, he swerved hard into the next empty lane, shouting at you. Finally you were able to speak, telling him you're sorry, you love him, it's a great idea for him to get back together with Mom. Then it was over. The car was stopped on the side of the road, your dad was stroking your hair and calling you Princess again, saying he loved you more than anything and that nobody could tear his family apart. From then on you never even remembered the recital itself, only the aftermath, and that when your dad hugged you and kissed your head you got away from him by leaning out of the car door to vomit.

It's just one of the bad memories that resurfaces when you're going through stress, and you haven't been sleeping well since forgoing your nights at Dave and Carol's. And memories can't hurt you. Especially when the villain of those memories is dead and can't hurt you anymore.

It's so easy to seethe in resentment, and that's exactly what you do. Dave's rejection of you is like a bruise upon your ego.. no, worse than that, it's a bruise upon your heart. His little self-righteous speech repeats in your head like an earworm, reminding you that because of your purity you're just not good enough.

And then you remember the little tirade you gave him in return and it does alleviate your hurt. You remember the shocked expression on his face. Oh, no one has ever spoken to him that way. But you did.

You spend as little time at the York household as possible, only picking up the girls and dropping them at school. You help Carol with dinner and most of the time you get to leave before Dave even comes home. Your days are rarely spent at their house, but rather in classroom auditoriums and in study sessions once the fall semester starts. Not content with a Bachelor's degree, you're earning your Master's, which is your main reason for having moved up here almost a year ago. Studying becomes the focal point of all your desires, your pent up frustration redirected into academia. In the few times you do see Dave you both make it a point not to speak unless necessary, and even though you refrain from casting secret glances the way you used to, at times you can still feel his eyes on you.

The drive home always feels like you've missed out on something, like a vital part of you has disappeared. You turn up the radio to drown out your thoughts. Thom Yorke (the irony is not lost on you) croons over the radio:

When you were here before Couldn't look you in the eye

When you're studying late one night, in the comfort and quiet of your home, you get a notification ding from your phone on the table next to you. You eyeball it, not picking it up right away. It can't be important. Except it's three in the morning and you never get notifications this late. Curiosity eats away at you as you read then reread the paragraph you're stuck on in your textbook. Then sighing deeply, giving in, you take your phone in your hand. You have your song of the moment on repeat:

I want you to notice When I'm not around So fuckin' special I wish I was special

Someone has liked some of your Instagram photos. Opening the app you find they were liked by a new user, dy.cranberry and there's no doubt in your mind that it's Dave who's liking your pics. You shake your head but you're smiling, actually you're lighting up inside. He wants you to know it's him, otherwise he would've used any other handle. He's probably still awake right now, so you send him a DM:

isn't it a little past your bedtime, boomer?

He replies right away, Can't sleep. Thinking about you.

Ignoring the butterflies in your stomach, you write back, you know what they say. absence makes the dick grow harder

Keep talking like that and I'll have to wake up Carol and put her to good use while I'm fantasizing about you..

shouldn't you be doing that anyway? she's your wife..

Can I call you?

A big part of you wants to say yes. It's such a visceral reaction for you to immediately acquiesce to his needs.

Sighing at your lack of willpower, you write back, sure

Right away your phone buzzes and you see Dave's name on the caller ID. You get on your bed as you answer it. "Hey," you say quietly.

The way he whispers your name in greeting causes a delicious heat to go through you. Can he be so easily forgiven? Maybe, especially when he says, "I want to see you." God, his voice is low, raspy, doing things to make your cunt throb.

"We see each other enough," you say with conviction.

"Can we meet up for coffee?"

You close your eyes, lean your head back against the headboard. "Why? What more do we have to say to each other?"

"I miss you." You hear him, half-hushed, and you can picture him in his white t-shirt and pajama pants, pacing the living room of his house, trying to keep quiet from Carol. This is the first time he's ever shown some emotion and you're not even there to see if it's genuine.

"Sure. I know what you miss." Your words are soft but they carry bitterness.

He's quiet; you wish you could see his expression right now.

"I'm sorry about before," he says in that same quiet, intimate, urgent tone. "I was just.. you took me by surprise. I didn't expect you to not have any experience."

"You make it sound like it was a job interview, Dave. Just say that my virginity freaks you out."

"It took me by surprise," he insists. "And I am not one to be easily surprised."

"So what do you want? A second chance?"

"I want whatever you're willing to give."

His answer is so carefully crafted, but you're able to see through it, though you doubt he'll change his stance on actually taking your relationship to the next level. "Fine. Tomorrow, ten a.m.?"

You can almost hear his smile, a grin like a Cheshire cat. "Perfect. See you then. Can't wait."

"I bet.. oh, and Dave? Your insta handle is ridiculous. Please change it." You hang up, smirking.

<- prev chapter

next chapter ->

dividers by @firefly-graphics & @saradika-graphics

[hinaypod]

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️EPISODE 41: DANNY BOY (PRIDE 2024) 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

IS NOW AVAILABLE WHEREVER YOU LISTEN TO PODCASTS!

Other Mari recounts the story of a young urchin girl named Flo, who lived in 1900s Toronto and was deathly afraid of Sauvard - leader of the Elders - after he took her friend and sacrificed him to create the first Foci. On DJ in the Dark, an ordinary trans barista named Danny Boyd tells the story of how the Old Man Of Toronto, Cornelius, saved him from the inescapable curse of multiple Foci, which were mutated by love. - Content Warnings: Brief mention of spousal abuse, murder, dehumanization, infidelity, child endangerment, implied gaslighting, obsession

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[grandwretch]

only i must wander, pt. 5

[on ao3] [pt 1] [pt 2] [pt 3] [pt 4]

content warning: gun violence, government conspiracies, implied racialized violence against black children, child endangerment, and references to impact play

Sleep did not come for Steve that night, too outweighed by guilt and failure to find him. He rattled around his empty house, waiting for it to come, and instead found only the spiral of his own thoughts. It was stupid to dwell on it, he tried to tell himself, the way it had been stupid to dwell on Barb. There was nothing to be done to change it, no way to go back in time and stop it, so why was he agonizing over it like it was a problem he could actually solve? It was just causing himself unnecessary heartache. He knew that. It didn't make it any easier to stop. 

It was worse doing it alone. Having Nancy around had been a little easier, although Steve didn't know if it was because seeing her tearing herself apart made his own mind a little clearer, or because he simply let her take over all the thinking. Neither was a very flattering reason, he was afraid. Now, he felt even more useless than he had then, when all Steve could do to comfort anyone was make stupid jokes at the dinner table. That, at least, had been well-meaning. What the fuck had he been doing the past few days? 

Really, it had been his own fault for believing he could change things. Realizing he wasn't human had given Steve too much confidence-- He had never been a good person, Steve knew that, but there was almost some hope in him that maybe he could be a good Wesen. Which was ridiculous, of course. He should have left those kids alone. He should have never let Dustin and Robin convince him that he was needed. He should have known that he wasn't meant to be the hero. 

Maybe that was why he had always bucked against the idea. What had he been thinking, letting himself pretend that it was because he didn't want to hurt someone? Everyone knew Steve Harrington didn't have any real morals; He would do anything for a smile or a warm touch. Maybe, somewhere deep inside, Steve had just already known he would fuck being a Grimm up like he had everything else. 

It was hard to think about anything else. 

By the time the sun came up the next morning, Steve had moved past panic and into the quiet acceptance of someone who had realized they had nowhere to run. He made himself a pot of coffee, ignoring how it made his empty stomach twist, and forced himself to stare into a sunrise that stung his tired eyes. Despite the exhaustion that clung to his limbs and heart, Steve didn't have problems finding energy to move. If anything, he felt like his body was pushing him to move faster, always finding a small reserve of energy to burn. 

Not for the first time, his body was at odds with his mind-- Every inch of him wanted to go out there and fix things, while Steve himself knew it would all be useless. He just had to wait for everyone else to show up. Maybe they would have some better ideas. Eddie seemed particularly keen to save the world from Steve. 

So the morning lingered, every hour seeming longer and longer until Steve was certain it might drive him insane. They had agreed to meet up just before lunch, in order not to keep Robin past curfew again should they need more time to regroup. Steve was beginning to regret being so responsible,  letting everyone go home and be normal for a little while, and he honestly wasn't sure his soul could take another regret. 

Even as Steve craved the comfort of his friends, though, he knew he didn't deserve it-- So he sat, quietly, and drank another cup of coffee, ignoring the phone next to him. 

Eventually, when the sun had finally completely risen over the treeline and the sleepy suburb around Steve had cleared itself out, all the fathers at work and the mothers at the club and the children at their camps and practices and programs... Steve heard the sound of a car coming up the street. The fact that he heard it at all was something of a warning; Those who lived in Loch Nora did not, as a general rule, allow themselves to be so gauche-- or practical --as to have their engines introduce their vehicle before the logo could. 

Steve leaned over the counter to peek through his blinds, sighing when he saw a familiar blue and white van in his driveway. He had never expected Eddie Munson, chronic truant, to be so punctual. It would figure that the one time no one wanted Eddie around was when he would actually show up for once, Steve thought, and then immediately scolded himself for being an ass. 

This was Steve's fault; Not Eddie's. 

Besides, if Steve could forget that he was barely keeping it together, at the moment, it might be nice to spend some time with Eddie alone. He could look his fill, at least, without having to worry about Robin or Dustin noticing. Maybe they could talk about something that wasn't death or kidnapping for once. Maybe he could even get Eddie to like him. 

And all for what, a nasty little part of Steve whispered. Which was a good point, really. There was no sense in Steve getting his hopes up just to have Eddie hate him again when he'd realized what Steve had done. Although, maybe it would be nice to have something to remember besides snarky comments and hateful little looks, when Steve was alone again. Because Eddie would be so upset, if Steve told him. Kids like that were probably the only reason Eddie was even still in this town, he had made that extremely clear, so why would he even both pretending to get along with Steve after he'd lost them like that? 

Watching Eddie hop out of the van, Steve sighed, and put the last cup of coffee down on the counter. Whatever happened, it would have to wait until everyone got here. Steve wasn't going to have this conversation twice. 

By the time Eddie knocked, Steve was already in his foyer, hand on the doorknob. Eddie's hand was still raised as Steve opened the door, and he turned the gesture into an odd little wave, smiling crookedly. 

"Hey, Harrington," he said, tongue pressing into the gaps of his teeth when he grinned, smug. "Nice digs." 

Steve blinked. Eddie didn't sound mocking, exactly, but he could tell the compliment wasn't sincere. Maybe he was just trying to teach Steve how to give a real compliment, since he had failed so completely on Friday. Whatever Eddie was trying to imply, Steve's head hurt way too much to figure it out. If he wanted to say something, he could just say it. Until then, Steve was ignoring it. 

"Yeah, uh... Thanks," Steve said, shaking his head. The fog didn't want to budge, but he forced himself to step back and motion Eddie in as he struggled with it. "Come on in. Coffee?" 

"No, thanks." Eddie shoved his hands in his pockets as he shuffled past Steve, peering around the house like he was at a zoo. Which was odd, Steve thought, because Eddie had definitely been here before. Hadn't he? Steve couldn't imagine a Hawkins rager without a Munson peddling his wares, and Eddie was the only one Steve had ever known. 

"Not a big coffee drinker?" Steve asked, politely continuing the conversation as he led Eddie into the living room. He couldn't go back for his coffee if Eddie wasn't going to have any; It would only draw attention to how desperately he needed it, and how his hands still shook around the porcelain. 

"Nah. Wayne loves the stuff, though," Eddie said. "Says it's his only vice." 

The Munson trailer's walls had been tinged yellow with nicotine, and there had been a mountain of Camels on Wayne's sidetable, so Steve wasn't sure how true that was. 

"So all the cigarettes must be yours, then?" Steve shrugged. "Can't say they taste much better." 

"Well, they definitely look cooler than coffee," Eddie said. He plopped onto Steve's mom's favorite love seat, all black and denim against the pale beige upholstery. Eddie grinned up at Steve, who hesitated for a moment, thinking how truly odd it was to see Eddie here, amongst the frippery and chintz of his day to day life. Sure, Eddie looked gorgeous in opulence, like some kind of king who thought his comfortable thrown was far beneath him, but that didn't make it less surreal. 

"That's why I have both," Steve said, eventually, as he sat in the chair furthest from Eddie. He couldn't stand the idea of being touched right now, and he wasn't even sure if he meant from anyone or Eddie specifically. The entire world felt too big, too loud, and someone's skin against Steve's own might be the last straw. 

"From what I've heard, Steve Harrington isn't someone who denies himself any vices." Steve would have thought it was a come on from anyone else. It certainly sounded like one, dripping with innuendo. But Eddie wasn't looking at Steve anymore-- His eyes darted from the open doorway into the kitchen, to the front door, to the stairs, over and over again. 

Steve liked to think if Eddie Munson was making a move on him, he might actually be more interested in Steve than monitoring all points of escape. Call him a romantic. 

Alright, so Eddie was scared of his house. That wasn't actually that big of a shock; Most people were a little uncomfortable or intimidated by the Harrington house. It wasn't even that big, really; Three bedrooms and two and a half baths wasn't exactly a mansion. It was the decor, usually, that threw people off, or the sheer ugliness of the outside. It was the kind of tacky you only got away with by being very, very rich, and Steve's mom ate that shit up with a spoon. Now it was Steve who was stuck with it, a flashing sign pointing to a world he'd been cut off from, and a bunch of friends who were constantly alienated by the very house he lived in. 

So, yeah, Steve was used to it. Still, this felt different. He felt it had to be personal, on some level, because Steve had seen Eddie deal in plenty of big houses before and seem totally fine. Plus, it wasn't like Eddie had said anything besides some weird compliment about the yard-- Most people usually did, when they were freaking out about the weird gold statues in the bathrooms, or the over-large chandelier in the foyer that made Steve claustrophobic. No, Eddie hadn't seemed put off by the house itself. Just Steve. 

Which wasn't a good sign, really, because Steve hadn't even told him about the new missing kids, yet. It was a little early for Eddie to already mark him off as a murderer. 

"Is everything okay, Eddie?" 

"What?" Eddie's gaze snapped back to Steve's, then skittered away again like a frightened cat. 

"You keep looking at our china cupboard like it's going to bite you," Steve said, trying to make a joke of it. When Eddie didn't laugh or smile or even so much as a grimace, Steve dropped his own awkward smile.  "I'm sorry, if I did anything to..." 

"Oh, God, no," Eddie said. He shook his hand, but Steve could see him wiping his sweaty palms off on his pants legs. "Sorry, Steve. It's not you, it's... I just can't get used to the fact that I'm in the Harrington house. I keep expecting your parents to pop out of a door and grill me on why I'm in their lair." 

"I used to feel like that, too, sometimes," Steve said with a shrug. "You get used to it." His parents haunted every inch of this place. There touch was everywhere, in everything, even in places like Steve's bedroom, where he was pretty sure neither of his parents had deigned to be since they'd moved in. They were inescapable. 

"Oh." Eddie looked thrown, and he frowned up at the picture of Steve's parents that hung above the mantle. Steve had meant to take that down-- He did, most nights. Jesus, no wonder he couldn't sleep last night. 

"I'm a little curious, though," Steve said, leaning forward. Now was his chance; A perfect opportunity for someone to finally spill what Steve was desperate to know.  "About what you've heard about them. Wayne seemed to think they were pretty okay, but you..." 

"I..." Eddie sighed. "Did your parents ever tell you about the Bogey Man when you were a kid?"

"No. Is that some kind of Wesen?" Steve asked, tilting his head.

"Ha, no. It's a fake monster, one the humans made up," Eddie explained. "I guess it makes sense your parents wouldn't need a fake one. But, uh, basically human parents use it to make their kids behave, I guess. You know, parent shit. A 'if you don't clean your room, the Bogey Man will get you!' deal." 

"Weird," Steve said. It seemed bizarre to even think about, really. Steve had seen his classmates with their parents before, of course. Tommy and his father fought constantly, even though Mr. Hagan had been one of the most even-tempered men that Steve had ever known, and Carol's parents were a lesson in politics and manipulation. 

He'd seen them both rail against their parents in ways both subtle and direct, but that had been so... them. Of course Tommy and Carol fought back, they fought back against Steve all the time, and teachers, and basically every other person on Planet Earth. But Steve couldn't imagine their parents threatening them with some made up monster to frighten them into behaving. He couldn't imagine his own parents even bothering-- Not when Steve was perfectly capable of being afraid of them already. 

Steve had to wonder which was kinder-- Frightening your children with a lie, or being the monster yourself? 

"Yeah. Yeah, well, when I was kid," Eddie continued, "your parents were the Bogey Man." 

Steve laughed, hollowly. Yeah, he supposed he and Eddie had that in common. "So I guess you're not as big a fan of my parents as Wayne is, huh?" 

"No, not really. Sorry," Eddie said, flatly. 

"Don't apologize. I definitely wasn't expecting him to be so accepting," Steve said, because he had honestly expected every Wesen to hate him on sight for the rest of his life. "I know what Grimms do to Blutbads. You know, historically." 

"No, it's not about that," Eddie said, as if thousands of years of blood feuds and murder didn't bother him at all.  "I run into a Grimm on the street, or something, I don't think I'd have a problem with them. We live in modern times; Someone isn't just going to kill me in broad daylight for minding my business. I'm wieder, I've never killed so much as a squirrel-- It's... Sorry, man, I could explain it but I don't think it's going to make much sense." 

"Try me," Steve said, because he needed to know. He needed to understand what the hell was going on in this town, on at least some level. Eddie's thoughts seemed like the one thing Steve could figure out without dragging the entire town into a disaster, at the very least. 

Eddie huffed, like Steve was being purposefully contrary. "I mean, this deal they've got going on with us, all of us in Hawkins. Would you be okay living like that?" 

Steve shrugged. "I don't know much about the details, really." 

"What, your parents' iron grip on the people around you not interesting enough for you, Your Majesty?" The venom had dripped back into Eddie's voice, and Steve wanted to bite back, but-- Well, it was his own fault that Eddie assume that he was in on things. He'd basically lied to them about his own relationship with his parents, just to look a little more competent. Eddie was allowed to be a bitch about Steve's ignorance. 

"Nah, my parents just aren't big sharers," Steve said, because he really didn't want this to devolve into another stupid fight. Today was going to be hard enough. "They haven't really... been around, since my powers started acting up. Most of what I've learned has been from my grandpa's diaries. No mention of any deal in there." 

Eddie hesitated for a moment, something curling his face into a grimace. Steve wasn't sure how to take the way Eddie was looking at him right now-- He'd never been good at figuring out why someone was mad at him, and Steve was feeling a little of that same cluelessness. Sure, it might have been because Eddie had just put together that Steve had lied to Wayne's face about his parents, but that seemed a little tame for a guy like Eddie. 

And, really, if Eddie had a problem with Steve lying, it was the least of Steve's worries. He would tell Wayne himself the next time he saw him, if it was that big a deal to him, but Steve didn't think it was anybody's business. No one had begged the Harringtons to come home when Steve needed them. Now it was Steve picking up his parents' mess, and trying to cover the fact that this had been happening right under their noses for who knows how long. Steve was the one suffering here. 

He tried really hard not to think about all the missing kids, and raised an eyebrow at Eddie, waiting for the judgement to fade. 

"Well," Eddie said, eventually. His voice slipped into a role with just one syllable, a habit Steve had noticed more and more in Eddie. His posture even adjusted to fit, as if Eddie was pulling the same party trick as Steve, but with concepts more than real people. A teacher's voice came from his mouth, "It's simple really. Your basic, everyday example of laws being nothing but threats the ruling class put in place to keep themselves at the top." 

Steve snorted at the exaggeration. "That's a little--" 

"No, Harrington, you wanted to know, so I'm telling you," Eddie said, his voice uncharacteristically serious. There was a pissy little line between his eyebrows, and Steve could already picture the wrinkles Eddie would have there, one day.  "There are all these stupid fucking laws, right, like who can marry who, and who's allowed to be a person. There are laws that are made to keep poor people poor, and laws to keep stupid people stupid, and then they made laws to keep those people from voting, because god forbid anyone change those laws." 

Resisting the urge to sigh, Steve wondered what Eddie would do if Steve just came out and told him that he didn't have to dance around the subject of gay people with Steve. Mostly because Steve had very explicit fantasies of sucking him off in this very living room sporadically since freshman year. It didn't seem worth it, though, considering Eddie was looking for a fight. With Steve's luck, Eddie would probably decide to be homophobic on the spot. Besides, Steve didn't know if he could call himself gay outloud without puking. 

"I don't know what that has to do with my parents," Steve said, instead, because they were getting pretty off track.

"Yeah, I'm being really unfair about the whole thing. I know that," Eddie said, throwing his hands up in the air like the dramatic asshole he is. "It's just, you know, it's a little funny. America is, like, so fucking focused on keeping the lower classes surpressed they just let people die in front of them everyday, and yet-- And yet they're still fairer than the fucking Harringtons." 

"Eddie--" Steve cut himself off, no longer trying not to sigh. He got the point, he really did, but Eddie was preaching to the choir on this one. He had never been convinced that his parents were great people to be around, and if you had told him as a child that his father was in charge of actual human lives, he probably would have had nightmares for weeks. That didn't mean that he would just stand here and agree with Eddie calling them dictators, either. They were his parents. And if anyone got to be mad at them, it was Steve. Not some gorgeous dickhead who'd never even met them. 

"Because you know, if someone breaks into my house and tries to kill me and I defend myself, the cops will eventually let me go," Eddie said, and he hadn't looked Steve in the eye since this whole thing started, but he seemed even further away now. Like he was mostly talking to himself, working through his thoughts, and Steve was merely an audience to his genius. It reminded Steve a lot of Eddie standing on lunch tables and yelling about how the basketball team was stealing kids' self-expression, and Steve wondered if it was too late to put a table cloth down on the coffee table.  

Eddie continued, "Self defense, right? But Wesen don't get self defense. If I'm wieder, I'm just a dog. Or-- or-- fuck, I could get put away for years for selling drugs, but I'll be safe! Better tell Wayne goodbye, though, if the Harringtons find me with springroot in the backyard." 

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry," Steve said. He felt suddenly like he had to beg Eddie to forgive him for his parents, just so they could move on from this. A little unfair, sure, and Steve was sure that when he'd finally had some sleep and his pride had the opportunity to rebuild itself he would regret it, but Steve just wanted this to be over. He just wanted Eddie to look at him and see Steve, not the product of two people who hadn't bothered to even stick around to raise him. He just didn't know what to say. There was no blueprint to make Eddie like him, no person he could imitate good enough to capture Eddie's goodwill.  "I had-- I was afraid that it would be that bad, but I guess after talking to Wayne, I got my hopes up. I didn't mean to make you-- I know it's hard--" 

"Hold on, Harrington," Eddie said, a hesitant hand raised between them. He looked blindsided, shock on his face as he blinked through the furrowing of his brow. "You don't have anything to be sorry about, okay? I'm not, like, having a breakdown or anything. I was just... talking. You know me, I can't shut up when something pisses me off." And that was true, at least-- Steve had listened to enough of Eddie's lunchroom rants to know that Eddie couldn't really mean half the shit he said, and might very well change his mind on the other half by the next one. 

This seemed a little more important than high school politics, though. Bigger than what Steve thought even real-life politics, with it's scrubbed-up movie stars and glittering galas, could effect anymore, like the kind of shit people who invented politics used to think about. The kind of shit no one really wanted to think about, much less talk about, anymore. The kind of shit that made people turn the channel to something stupid and thoughtless, pretending the uncomfortability of reality had never revealed itself. 

"But they're my parents," Steve said, helplessly. He was a little lost in the swamp of the matter; He wished he had paid more attention in history class to have the words for the conversation, the way Nancy or Jonathan would. 

"Yeah," Eddie said, in that increasingly familiar tone of voice that said Steve was being slow.  "And my mom is still out there somewhere, hunting down Bauerschwein like Blutbader society can't survive with one more pig in the world. What's that got to do with me?" he continued, with all the confidence of a man who didn't lay awake at night sure that it did have something to do with him. 

"That's different," Steve said, though he wasn't sure how it was-- Eddie would know better than him, obviously, but Steve wasn't sure how he had been able to assure himself of anything of that. Steve didn't think he'd ever be able to stop blaming himself, if it had been him. Which was probably Eddie's point. Still, there were a few key differences, the biggest of which-- "Have you even met her?" 

"I mean, I have to believe I was present at my own birth," Eddie said with a shrug, "but other than that, nah. That's not the point, Harrington. What I'm saying is, you've got nothing to be sorry for. You aren't your parents." 

And that was where Eddie was the most wrong, Steve thought. Because while he hadn't seen them for months, Steve had more than enough time with his parents to know just how like them he really was. Every time he looked in the mirror or watched his own hands move as he spoke, he saw Bradley and Sophia Harrington. His parents felt inextricably a part of him, like he could feel their very DNA inside him. It was a curse before he had even known what they were, and an even greater one afterward-- Because there had never been a single moment where Steve had been able to believe that they were ignorant of this dangerous world Steve had found himself in. If anything, it was easier to believe they had created it wholecloth, just as they had created him. 

"You should be afraid of me," Steve said, like reminding someone to bring an umbrella along on a cloudy day.  

"Afraid of you?" Eddie repeated. "Why?" 

Steve shrugged, thinking about the split-second moment of fear on El and Robin's faces. How he couldn't meet his own gaze in the mirror. Of Eddie woging in the dark, eyes flashing. "Everyone else is." 

"Steve, you got your ass kicked by a jumped up racist in the shittiest car in the world," Eddie said with a snort, as if he'd ever won a fight in his five years at Hawkins High. "I think I'll be okay." 

"I-- I wasn't even really a Grimm then!" Steve protested. Lucky for Billy, honestly. While Steve wondered from time to time if his vision and hearing hadn't been just a bit too keen in the junkyard last fall, everything else had still been completely human. Steve hated to think what he might have done to a human, if it had happened all at once. If all that adrenaline and instinct had seen Billy-- and maybe even the kids, honestly --as a threat. If his strength, growing more unnatural every day, would have broken bone as easy as plaster. 

Would Billy have still been alive when they stuffed him in his own trunk? 

"Yes, but you were an asshole," Eddie said, wry tone jerking Steve out of his worst case scenario. "Balances itself out, you see." 

The absurdity made Steve chuckle, the knot in his chest loosening a little bit. Eddie was right-- For all he was a monster now, he had been even worse when he was a human. A reminder of that was as freeing as it would have been upsetting mere months ago. From the pleased grin on Eddie's face, Steve assumed he knew that, too. It must have been written all over his face. 

Steve hated to think what else Eddie could see in his eyes, and tilted his face away, hiding the smile on his lips. 

A welcome distraction came in the form of the familiar growl of Claudia Henderson's car in the driveway. If Steve strained, he could hear Dustin's voice through the closed window, followed by his mother's-- And, Steve realised with a start, Robin's. At least, he hoped that was Robin-- He'd been working on his hearing, lately. Even his improved vision couldn't process things as quickly as his ears could. It was mere seconds, but it was more than enough to keep them alive. 

Although, Steve thought as a familiar tingling began between his eyes, maybe he didn't have to work that hard. His head seemed determined to ache the moment a Wesen got in the vicinity anyway. Althought it usually faded within moments, there was nothing Steve processed faster than pain.

"Kids are here," Steve said, standing. Dustin's heavy boots were loud on the front porch, and he knew the little shit had stolen a key weeks ago. 

"They are?" 

Dustin answered for him, throwing the door open and yelling, "Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve!" 

"I am right fucking here, Dustin, holy shit," Steve said, flinching. 

Robin muscled her way past Dustin and into the front hall, waving at Claudia over her shoulder. "Holy shit, Henderson," she hissed through a plastic smile, "don't wake up the whole neighborhood." 

"You got a ride with Mrs. Henderson?" Steve asked. He didn't know if it was more surprising that Robin actually got in the car, or that Claudia had let a Fuchsbau in her backseat. The two most paranoid people he knew, in one car ride? Fuck, throw Hopper in there, too, and they'd be convinced the world was ending in a matter of minutes. 

"We saw her walking and stopped to pick her up," Dustin said, throwing his backpack under a rickety sofa table. "It's a bad week for bike tires."

Rolling her eyes, Robin dropped into Steve's vacated seat, kicking his legs out of the way of her sprawl. "I wish I didn't live in the opposite direction of you, Eddie," she groused, "because that was the worst car ride of my life." 

Steve wasn't sure that Eddie's clunky van would have been much smoother, considering what he'd heard coming up his own driveway, but he kept his mouth shut for once. 

Dustin had much more specific protests. "Hey, my mom is great!" Another statement Steve was smart enough not to address. 

"Your mom has eaten people!" Robin flung her arms up, feet and knees jittering with nervous energy. "How am I supposed to act normal about meeting her when literally the first information you ever told me about her was that she ate people for fun!" 

Eddie's gaze slid sideways to Steve. "What's going on right now?" he asked. 

"Oh, uh." Steve leaned against the back of Robin's seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Dustin's mom took human heart in college, apparently." 

"You seem remarkably chill about that," Eddie said. The creases in his face, too deep and practiced for a man his age, jerked into a shaky frown. 

Steve shrugged, unsure of what Eddie had expected him to say. Eddie was the one who sold drugs out of the back of his van, supplying most of Steve's best parties, and Eddie had been the one to say that Steve was too good to be a real threat. It was something of a relief to have found where a boundary might lay, finally, but Steve wasn't sure why this, of all things, was enough to take the shine off. 

"I've seen worse," Steve said, although that was stretching the truth a bit. He'd never actually seen the inside of the Hawkins Lab, just the tunnels underneath, but he'd heard enough from El and Hopper to have a pretty good idea. The shit they were doing in there was worse than any college girl could ever do, even if she was a bit munchy. 

 Sure, if you wanted to get in the philosophical weeds about everything, consuming human flesh  might be a tad more wrong, morally speaking, than human experimentation. It seemed, at first, a much deeper sin. His Sunday school teacher would have said as much, probably. But then again, it always seemed that the sins that didn't make you money were the ones people most cared about. Everything else could be justified, but the idea of doing something out of sheer enjoyment was the real sin. 

"You are such a hypocrite!" Dustin said, ignoring Steve and Eddie's sidebar.  

"It's not a moral judgement," Robin soothed, ruining all effect by rolling her eyes dramatically the whole time. "I just don't know how--" 

Steve watched Dustin puff up in righteous indignation. "No, come on, you've literally been talking about how creepy she is the whole time--" 

"You accused my dad of murder!" Robin said. 

"Why--" Eddie began, before Steve shook his head. He had learned that it was best just to let them tire each other out before he got involved. Until then, they could just sit back and watch the show. 

"He made his whole business out of dead people; What was I supposed to--"

"He sells them! He sells dead humans. He's not the one getting high by snorting it, or whatever." 

"Oh, yeah, right," Dustin drawled, with a level of sarcasm Steve was almost sure had come from him. 

"I don't know, Henderson," Eddie said, leaning forward. He was having entirely too much fun already, his grin sharp and smug in the same way Max often got when she started a fight amongst the boys. "Robin is making a lot of sense. No good drug dealer gets high off his own supply." 

"See! I--" Robin's triumphant shout was interrupted by her own sudden realization. "Oh, fuck, my dad is a drug dealer." 

"You already knew that," Steve said, rubbing his hand against his forehead. His headache was beginning to make a reappearance. 

"Yeah, but I was thinking about it in a moral way, not like..." Robin shrugged. "Him being a fucking loser." 

"Wow, Buckley," Eddie drawled, mock offense all over his face. "That's really nice." 

Despite Eddie's gleeful problem-causing, it opened up an opportunity for Steve to finally step in. Now that Robin's ire was split in two, he might be able to get out of this without getting his head bitten off.  "Alright, all of you, stop it. There's some coffee in the kitchen if you want some, Robin." 

"Thank--" Robin began, but Dustin interrupted her, yelling over his shoulder as he made his way to the kitchen. 

"Oh, Steve, do you have anymore Smurfberry Crunch?" 

"Uh, yeah?" Steve said. "I think there's a whole box left over in the--" 

"Great, thanks, Steve!" Dustin's voice echoed out of the kitchen. 

"Don't worry, Harrington, I'll make sure the kid doesn't eat you out of house and home," Robin said, which Steve was pretty sure just meant that she was going to try and eat all the snacks before Dustin could get to them. Still, he watched her boost herself out of his seat and skip into the kitchen without saying a word. 

He still wasn't sure that he was used to having people in his house like this. Steve didn't think of himself as a lonely person, really; He had no problem going out to find the company he needed. Someone was always willing to have Steve Harrington hang out on their couch for a couple hours, or to joy ride in some neighbor's old pickup, or to drive to Lafayette and get dinner that wasn't made by someone you'd known your entire life. There was always someone by his side, until recently. Tommy, Carol, and strings of dates and teammates had made sure of that. 

It was the house that was lonely, not Steve. Even Tommy and Carol didn't like staying in it for too long-- They never said much about it, but Steve didn't think it was coincidence that they always hung out by the pool, even on nights when the air was on the wrong side of freezing. When they did spend time outdoors, they overcompensated, inviting everyone whose name they knew. There was no popularity gate for a Harrington party, just because the adoring, unworthy masses were so handy in making the house feel alive for once. 

Even when he'd given all that up, Nancy hadn't stuck around Steve's for very long-- They spent most of their time at her place, which Steve hadn't really minded. He'd wondered if Nancy also felt trapped in the vast expanse of his parents' house, or if she just preferred to not be the one to sneak out at the end of the night, but he'd never asked. Now, he just wondered if that was another reason that Byers had outdone him-- If the cramped but cozy home of a real family was a necessary ingredient in a real future. 

It had certainly been part of what drew Steve to Nancy, but then, he'd never really thought of family being all that important to her. Maybe that was just another thing he'd missed, along with everything else between them. 

With the Wheelers' house no longer a comfortable escape for him, Hopper and El's cabin had been a surpring replacement. And Steve loved it there, he really did-- Loved how small and worn and soft everything was, how clean didn't mean empty and echoing. He loved the fireplace with ash in the hearth, and their smelly, patchy couch, and the way the refridgerator door hung loose. It was a small place, though, and although Steve knew that Hopper and El would never think it, he knew that he didn't always fit. Especially the nights Joyce or Mike came over-- That was a level of family that he just didn't fit into, and Steve didn't know if it was in his head or if everyone was just too kind to say it, but he felt too over-large and clumsy to be welcome, those nights. 

The kids helped, though. All of them. Even Mike was tolerable when he and El weren't trying to climb into each other's pockets, and the kid's attitude had taken a noticeable upturn once Steve and Nancy's break up had proven to be as boring as possible. He was over here the most often, after Dustin, the both of them dragging Will and Lucas along with them-- Max came too, sometimes, usually alone. 

Steve hadn't expected Robin to make herself part of the conquering forces staking her claim on the Harrington house, however. Although he thought they were something approaching friends-- he wasn't sure what other choice they had in the matter, at this point --the last thing he had ever expected to see was Robin Buckley walking into his kitchen like she owned the place. 

He watched her through the archway for a moment, smiling when she went right to her favorite mug, before turning back to Eddie. He stalled when he found Eddie's large, brown eyes on him already. 

"You sure there's nothing I can get for you?" Steve prompted. 

While he hated the idea of watching Eddie make a move on Robin in his own kitchen, he supposed it was at least polite to give him the chance. It's what Steve would have done, if the object of his current obsession had been some nice neighborhood girl, instead of Eddie Munson himself. Sure, he probably would have been a little more subtle about things, but if it had been him and Nancy in some random dude's house, he wouldn't have left her side. 

Maybe Eddie was shy, Steve thought. Maybe he just needed a little nudge towards the kitchen, or confirmation that Steve and Robin weren't ever going to be a thing. Steve's stomach churned with jealousy, but it was the least he could do to give that to them. If that's what would make them happy. It wasn't like Steve would ever deserve Eddie's attention, anyway. 

Eddie did stand at Steve's prompting, though to his surprise, he didn't make a move for the kitchen. In fact, Steve wasn't sure if Eddie had even glanced in Robin's direction as she left. Instead, he just stepped closer to Steve, hands in his pockets in a show of faux nonchalance. Like everything else Eddie had ever done, Steve couldn't be sure if he was supposed to buy into Eddie's dramatics, or if the obvious theatrics were part of the performance. 

"You know," Eddie said, ignoring Steve's polite offer. "I've always wondered what happens when a Grimm takes Wesen drugs. You ever try one?" 

"No." Steve's nose scrunched in disgust. "Why? You don't sell any of that shit, do you?"

"Nah." Luckily, Eddie didn't seem offended by the question. If anything, his smile only got wider. " Couldn't exactly call myself wieder if I was carrying around human remains in my lunch box, could I?" 

A fair point, Steve had to admit. Wayne, at the very least, would probably have knocked some sense into him by this point. It made Steve feel a little better about letting Dustin (and probably the other boys) walk into Eddie's psuedo-cult. And, if he was being honest, his own taste in men. Then again-- 

"But selling cocaine and Special K is super humanitarian, right?" Steve said, rolling his eyes. Selling coke to high school kids wasn't as bad as trafficking human organs, but Steve was still determined to have some standards for himself. A pair of big, brown eyes couldn't dismiss everything. 

"You sound mad, Stevie," Eddie said, his voice curling around the syllables like smoke. "You used to be one of my best customers. What happened?" 

They both knew what had happened-- Steve had never been buying for himself, only reaching out to Eddie because he was the one with the cash, the one who never had parents breathing down his neck, the one whose house the drugs would be the safest in. He wasn't surprised Eddie had noticed, either; The man hadn't been joking when he'd said that Steve was his best customer. 

In the beginning, Steve had spent most of his allowance on supplying the older kids, ones who couldn't be seen dead with twitchy sophomore Eddie Munson, who hadn't yet grown into his hair or nose yet. It was this role that had let him rocket to popularity as a freshman, a rare feat even in small towns.  Although Steve had slowed it down, once his position solidified, it was well known that Steve was generous with his friends in all their vices. When the party invitations dried up, though, so had his wallet-- And Eddie's profits, presumably. 

Steve didn't feel much like dragging out dirty laundry, or defending himself. He knew what he looked like, knew what people thought of him. If Eddie wanted to give him shit for ancient history, Steve could play along. It was becoming something of a theme in his every friendship.  

"Believe it or not, Munson, I've never thought that fighting monsters on a coke high was a super good idea." 

"'s probably for the best. New word on the vine is that it can split your pretty little head wide open if you take too much, and you've already had one bonk too many." And then Eddie leaned close, reaching out. Steve tensed, watching Eddie's hand like a poorly socialized dog, resisting the urge to snarl. He forced himself to stand still, afraid that running would only give away how badly Steve wanted Eddie's hands on him. He could feel his adrenaline flood his veins, the bullet-time of flight or fight kicking through his system, and he watched Eddie's fingers curl into a fist. 

Eddie's knuckles rapped gently against Steve's forehead, and that, Steve understood. That was the only way he and Tommy were allowed to touch each other-- Teasing words followed by the gentle fascimile of violence, pulling back before it could become anything greater. Steve had always assumed that was his fault, that the breadth of his obsession had colored every touch between them, but maybe that was normal? Maybe that was how men were, with each other, when they were normal. When they didn't crave to be touched gently like a drug, maybe a shove was just a shove. Maybe-- 

Everything in Steve had been prepared for Eddie to pull away, for that familiar disappointment to hit low in his gut once an appropriate distance was between them once more. His own hand rose to bat Eddie's away; It was easier to be alone in his skin when he was the first to pull away, the first to scoff and pretend the touch of another man was nothing more than an unavoidable inconvenience. 

To Steve's surprise, though, Eddie didn't let the tease linger long enough for Steve to push him away-- Instead, Eddie's hand unfurled, the loose fist turning into a gentle caress, as he pushed an lock of hair off of Steve's forehead. 

It was a familiar move, one Steve himself had pulled out more than a time or two. He knew it worked, and he knew why. Girls loved it because they thought it meant that they were being taken care of, and because it was a declaration of intent. It they actually liked the guy pulling the move, it made them feel safe but sought after-- And, unfortunately, making a girl feel safe was usually the best way to get what you wanted from them. Steve liked to think himself a little better than that, but he had to admit it was a useful move when a date was just a as little too shy or too oblivious to catch the hint of a kiss. 

As familiar as Steve was with the move, he had never been on this side of it. Had never really thought about how it felt, not the emotions after the dust settled, but the actual brush of skin against skin in the moment-- He had never really cared about the actual touch of it, before, except for the split-second calculation of how long to let the fingers curled against her skin linger. None of that prepared Steve for this, not for the edge of Eddie's callouses tracing a line of heat across Steve's skin, or the way he felt himself quiver down to the very molecules. 

"Must be pretty serious if you're letting your loyal subjects see you so unkempt, Your Majesty," Eddie said, the smile on his face holding such a warmth that Steve was certain he must have imagined it. 

Steve was suddenly aware of the fact that he couldn't feel his fingers anymore. 

"Oh," he said. Somewhere inside him was King Steve, hidden away where Steve could reach for him if he needed a little extra confidence. His own words lost in the thrum of his pulse, Steve tried to pull the old persona back on like a worn cape, but his grasping came up empty. There was nothing in Steve's brain besides the echo of his own absent thoughts and the exact color of Eddie Munson's eyes. "Um..." 

"Okay, so are we doing this in here?" Robin's voice said from the doorway. 

Eddie had stepped back and away before Steve even registered Robin's presence just over Eddie's shoulder. In a single breath, it was like they had never touched-- Eddie had never been subtle, and now his movements were even more obvious, almost leaping back to his side of the couch. 

Robin stared at him for a moment, paused halfway through a sip of Steve's coffee. Eddie stared back, eyes wide, and shoved his hands in his pockets. Her gaze slid over to Steve. 

Swallowing his disappointment, Steve shook the static from his hands. "Doing what?" he said.  

Robin looked at him like she was as worried about the condition of his brain as Eddie had pretended to be mere moments ago. "... The meeting? You were supposed to tell us what your source dug up, right?" 

Eddie brightened, the awkwardness falling away from his face. He threw himself back onto the couch, chains jangling as he bounced on the cushions. "Yeah, Harrington," he said, eagerly. "Tell us what your government boys found out." 

The dread that Steve had carried around with him all morning came flooding back into the pit of his stomach. The guilt was even keener now that he had let Eddie and the others distract him; He didn't deserve to have a soft morning, filled with laughter and flirtation, when he had let such bad things happen. Steve knew that. But he also couldn't pretend that a lot of the nausea didn't come from knowing he was about to lose this. After today, he was going to lose them both, and that... stung in a way Steve didn't really know how to process. 

It wasn't that Steve considered them his best friends, or assumed he was as important to them. Eddie, especially, would never fit into Steve's life the way Steve hoped-- But that was okay. Steve had become used to that, over the years. But there was a potential there, with Eddie and Robin both. If Steve let himself, he knew that he could fall ass over tits in love with the  both of them, in very different ways. And, when he let himself hope, he thought that they might love him a little one day, too. Not after this, though. Not after what he'd done. 

Eddie would drop him first, of course. Steve wasn't even sure if the dude liked him at all, or if they were still in the era of begrudging allies. It was obvious that the guy was only in it for the kids, and Steve didn't blame him for that-- But when it was so obvious that Steve was somehow even worse at protecting the Wesen kids of Indiana than his own parents, there wasn't much reason for the guy to stick around. 

Robin might hold out for a day or two, just because they had started to make progress on their friendship already. Maybe a week, if he were lucky. But then it would be missed calls, and switched shifts at work... It had been about the fun for her, the thrill of solving a mystery. When the fun went away, so would she. Steve just hoped she could work out this thing with her dad on her own. Maybe Dustin could help.

Speaking of Dustin, just him being there helped Steve breathe easier. While the kid would probably be upset, might even ignore Steve for a little while, he knew that what they had been through was too much for the kid to drop him over one fuck up. Steve might have to grovel, and he'd be paying for arcade trips and McDonald's dinners for the rest of his natural life, but he'd always have the kid by his side. That knowledge alone kept Steve from chickening out. Or throwing up. Or moving to Chicago and changing his name to Bryan. 

Which was good, because somewhere beneath all the panic, Steve knew this was his only real choice. It would be hard, but it would make things less complicated and, distressingly, it was the right thing to do. They deserved to know the truth. The kids deserved to have their story told, even if it should come from worthier lips than Steve's. 

"Hey Dustin!" Steve called, a man assembling his own firing squad. "Get in here, man." 

Dustin ambled out of the kitchen, with a large salad bowl overfull of cereal and milk in his hands. "Yeah?" he mumbled through a full mouth, milk dribbling down his chin.

"Fucking seriously, Henderson?" Eddie snorted. 

"What? Its yummy!" 

Steve pinched his nose. All three of them seemed to be determined to be as Looney Tunes as possible today. "Just... put the cereal down, okay?" 

Grumbling under his breath, Dustin complied, sitting his bowl on the coffee table and sitting on the couch next to Eddie. Robin retook her stolen seat, and they all looked up at Steve. 

Struggling not to squirm under their attention, Steve struggled to break the news. "I have... I have something I need to tell you all before we start talking about next options." He hesitated, hand rising to his face once again to rub at his nose. He knew it was an awful tell, the kind of thing he'd been trying to train himself out of forever, but the lack of sleep and overabundance of nerves proved to be too much for Steve's thinning willpower. 

Robin's eyes narrowed, obviously clocking the gesture. "What happened?" 

"So..." Steve began, wincing. "So, over the weekend, while we were working-- It was just two days, really, I don't... Look, I don't know all the details yet so it might have nothing to do with the case, but--" 

All the amusement was gone from Eddie's eyes, leaving him with the same flat, angry expression that he'd had upon finding Steve and the others rooting around in his backyard. "Spit it out, Harrington." 

"Five more kids went missing this weekend."

The words fell out of his mouth like a curse. 

Before he even had time to regret his own lack of tact, Eddie was on his feet again. The woge had torn across him before his feet had even hit the floor, creasing Eddie's brow and elongating his face. His eyes were still the same, though, big and brown and warped with betrayal. Steve had expected it-- even a wieder's iron control couldn't withstand this kind of news --so he didn't flinch away from the sudden movement. 

It took more experience than he had, though, to stop Steve's answering woge. He wasn't sure how he knew his eyes had gone glassy and black once more, but Steve could feel that even though he didn't deserve it, his body was still trying to protect him from Eddie's anger. He looked away, not because of Eddie's woge, but because he couldn't stand the thought of Eddie seeing the worst of himself right now. 

Steve's gaze naturally fell to Dustin, next, though the sight wasn't any less heartbreaking. The kid was pale, his silence so obvious that he wore it like a physical object. Steve had never seen Dustin react to bad news with anything less than pure indignation, and the proof of how much he had failed to protect this kid was almost too much to bear. The only thing he'd succeeded in was giving Dustin another screaming nightmare. 

Desperate for another steadying presence, Steve turned to Robin. She was uncharacteristically quiet as well, but luckily unlike Dustin, or really anyone else in the room, she seemed to be holding it together. Even sorrow hadn't seemed to touch her yet, as if she refused to be sad about something she didn't understand entirely yet. It was the kind of strength that Steve had missed in his life since distancing himself from Nancy, and he was suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude for Robin's presence. 

With a frown, Robin shook her head, asking, "How could we possibly have missed something that big?" 

"They were all spread out," Steve said. After promising Nancy last night, she had given him all the information she'd been able to dig up. Even in her own grief, Nancy had been remarkably thorough. Though the news out of Indianapolis hadn't quiet picked up the thread, yet, she'd reached out to every contact she had and a few of Jonathan's and Murray's, too. She knew more about these kids than probably any detective in the state, and now Steve did, too. 

 "They were from five different counties, coming straight up from Kentucky," he continued, "I don't know much about what's going on with the media coverage outside of the information I was given. I think they're trying to keep it pretty quiet on the mainstream channels. As far as I know, the cops aren't talking about it like they're connected or anything, but, uh, one of the conspiracy groups that Nancy is plugged into is all over it. I don't know if they've made the connection to the kids from before, but it's only a matter of time." And once the cops figured it out, there would be no way for them to get involved without painting a target on their backs. 

Claws flexing by his side, Eddie choked on a growl "I can't believe you would fucking let this happen," he said, the words gurgling in the back of his throat. It sounded painful, like his anger was squeezing at his windpipe. Steve frowned down at a stain on his mother's rug. 

"That's not fair--" Dustin began, voice weak, but Eddie cut him off. 

"No, fuck that!" Eddie turned on Steve, his lips pulled back into a snarl. "You ride around Hawkins acting like a fucking hero, and five kids die on our watch? And you just fucking missed it? God damn it, Harrington, do you even know their names? Do you even care?" 

Steve wished he didn't. He wished that he had any hope that he could ever forget them. He wished he didn't know their parent's names, or the names of their schools. He wished he didn't hear their addresses and know the roads they lived on, wished that he had any chance of driving them again without thinking of his own mistakes. More than anything, he wished he could be strong enough to remember them without regrets, because that was what they deserved. He wished he could swallow his own guilt and be strong enough to live through his punishments. 

It wouldn't help to tell Eddie any of that, though. It wouldn't make him any less angry and, besides, Steve deserved it. No apology would absolve him of his guilt, and whatever punishment Eddie thought was fit wouldn't even begin to wipe the blood from Steve's hands.  There was nothing he could do but wait for the punishment to come and for the yelling to stop. 

If there was one thing Steve was sure of, it was that the yelling always stopped, eventually, if you just kept your mouth shut and made it to the other side. For a few moments, Eddie held his glare, frown deepening as if he was trying to force the expression into permanence. When Steve made no move to give him the fight he was looking for, however, Eddie deflated, expression falling along with his stance. As he faded back into his human force, claws shrinking back into his skin, the flat planes on his face only made Eddie's eyes seem bigger and shinier. It made the tears beginning to well in the corners all too obvious, and Steve had to look away. Maybe he was a coward for it, but he couldn't watch Eddie cry. 

"Sorry," Eddie choked out. "I'm sorry. Just-- Jesus fucking Christ." 

"I know," Steve said, still staring hard at the floor. "It's okay." 

Robin began to make an awful noise, painful jerks of sound caused by desperately trying not to sob. Steve  crouched down to rub her back, wordless. There was nothing he could say to make this better-- Not for Robin, and not for Eddie or Dustin, either. Steve was honestly surprised this was the first time one of them had burst into tears; The amount of stress they'd put themselves under wasn't something the human brain dealt with easily. Even Dustin and Steve, who had shouldered traumas unacknowledged by science, were only used to small, short-term disasters. This thing with the kids had stretched into weeks, now. The only thing that kept Steve from joining them in their tears was the guilt. 

The fact that Dustin wasn't crying was honestly starting to worry Steve, at this point. He knew how hard this was for Dustin, after everything with Will. El being presumed dead for so long probably hadn't helped, either. This should be effecting him more than anyone. But Dustin's eyes were dry, which could only mean that, at some point, Dustin had gotten used to living in a world where kids just... went missing. They just disappeared one day, or they died, and there was no use in crying because there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

There was nothing that Steve regretted more than not being the person Dustin needed him to be at the beginning of all this. He knew that it was a silly regret, considering he hadn't even really known the kid until a full year after he and Nancy had started dating, but-- A part of him was convinced that if he had just gotten his shit together sooner, he might have been able to protect Dustin from all this. 

"What the hell are we supposed to do now?" Eddie said, voice hollow

"We can't give up," Robin said between sniffles. "We just can't do that to those kids." 

"Yeah, of course. Obviously, we're going to find them," Dustin said. "We still have, like, time, right?" 

Even as he asked the question, Dustin didn't look convinced. Steve couldn't blame him. 

They were all so young, too young for this kind of heartbreak. Were they just going to set themselves up to be crushed again? They had no leads. There was a ticking clock on the cops figuring out at least some of these cases were connected, and at that point things would only get more difficult. Maybe it would be better to let someone else take responsibility. Hell, maybe Steve's parents would hear the news and come home. He wasn't exactly ecstatic at the thought of trusting an adult with this, especially not his parents-- They were historically abysmal at finding justice for dead or missing kids --but he was running out of options. Even if he found the guy, then what? He was just going to drag these kids and who knows how many others into a fight with a serial killer? 

"This is only going to get harder from here on out," Steve said. He struggled to keep his voice level, every syllable wanting to crack with sorrow. "Obviously, they've started going faster. More kids might-- More kids might go missing, and it might be even closer to home. If anyone wants to step away from this now, no one will blame you." 

For a long moment, no one said anything. Dustin's gaze never lifted from the ground. Steve felt Robin shift against him, elbow digging into his ribs from how close she was pressed against him. Eddie was the only one who would look at him, and when Steve met his gaze, Eddie kept them locked. Steve had never been a fan of eye contact, and in the months since he'd discovered his woge, he'd gotten used to the people around him avoiding his gaze. Even Eddie and Wayne, who never seemed to take Steve seriously as a threat, avoided eye contact whenever possible. Now, though, Eddie was looking into Steve's eyes like he would find answers there that Steve's voice wouldn't give him. 

Despite the first jolt of shock, Steve didn't feel the urge to squirm away from the intimacy of it. It filled him with relief, because if Eddie was looking at him, then it meant this wasn't over. Eddie wasn't going to leave; Even if he was angry, that still meant he cared. Steve knew what indifference looked like, and it was nothing like the depth of the emotion swimming in Eddie's eyes. 

But the longer Steve looked back, the longer he allowed it, Steve realised that he couldn't read Eddie. He knew annoyance, he knew indifference, he knew pity, and lust, and mocking, but whatever Eddie was trying to show him felt ancient and sacred in a way that Steve hadn't known emotions could be. Like Eddie had taken whatever primal thing existed inside of Steve, the link he had to the people who had once invented love and fear and hatred, and was trying to cradle it in his palms. 

Steve looked away. 

"Okay. Okay, well, I've been thinking about it," he said, trying to gather the plans that had been scattered by exhaustion, "and there are next steps. First off, we gotta find out what exactly the cops know before the evidence is too old to be any use. Nancy's working on looking into it, but it might have to be slow to not raise eyebrows, so we should--" 

"Sorry, Nancy? Nancy Wheeler?" The shock in Eddie's voice wasn't exactly a surprise, but the disdain was. Steve could feel himself prickling at the tone already, even as he tried to tell himself that Eddie was still just looking for a fight.

 The problem was, Steve had never been good at not fighting over, for, or about Nancy Wheeler. Besides, if he was being honest, Steve wanted a fight almost as badly as Eddie seemed to. Schoolyard fights had never been something that Steve was allowed to indulge in with the other kids, because a Harrington didn't indulge in such vulgarity, but he had craved it. Sought after it. The summer between middle school and high school had been a summer spent hiding busted knuckles and bruised lips. It was the freest Steve had ever felt. 

Billy had been the last real fight that Steve had allowed himself to have, and it would be so much better with Eddie. Because Eddie was gorgeous, and kind, and Steve wouldn't hate himself when he looked at himself and saw Eddie's bruises on his skin-- 

"What about her, Munson?" Steve grit out, teeth clenched tight around the thought of knowing the shape of Eddie's fist. 

"That's your inside source?" Eddie said, a sarcastic laugh warbling the last few syllables. "Your fucking Mathletes ex-girlfriend?" 

Steve huffed. "I know it sounds ridiculous, Eddie, but Nance has done this before. And she's tougher than she looks. You don't have to worry about her." 

Eddie woged once again, and Steve struggled not to smirk in the victory of provoking Eddie into losing control twice in one day. "I don't care if she's a fucking Siegbarste, Harrington, she's a high school girl who weighs 90 pounds soaking wet. What happened to those government guys you kept bragging about, huh?" he continued, taking a threatening step towards Steve. "They in fucking middle school?" 

"These aren't men I can just call up and have it go away," Steve said, glaring up at Eddie. He refused to give him the satisfaction of moving him. "If they come help they are going to be in our shit until they're satisfied. They're not loyal to anyone in Hawkins and, frankly, I can't trust them." 

"So this is about you thinking you're more important than some dead kids, is that it?" 

"What? No--" 

"Steve is right," Dustin said, finally looking up at them. His small, sad voice cut through the argument like a knife. All three older teens turned to him, falling silent until he continued. "It's not us. There are Wesen here that Owens and his men can't know about. If we call them here without being careful, it's not just us and the kids that are in danger. It's all of Hawkins. Maybe everyone clear to Lafayette. Who knows how big they'll make the gas leak next time." 

He had considered this before, Steve realized. Of course, Steve had, too-- Nancy and El had never let him forget how much danger the government was to all of them, now that they knew so much. But he had thought that maybe the kids had been spared that knowledge, that maybe childhood innocence and good ol' fashioned American propoganda had spared them from that fear. The way Dustin spoke, though, made it abundantly clear that he was absolutely aware that one day, the wrong person might decide that Dustin Henderson and everyone he loved needed to die. 

Steve was suddenly on Eddie's side, when it came to the future of America. Or maybe even a little more radical-- Steve could see the logic in wanting to burn the entire thing down, never stopping until everyone who had ever failed his kid was groveling at his feet. 

"Wait, wait, wait. Why does the infant know about these government guys?" Eddie asked, voice filled with the same horror Steve had become all too familiar with in '83. "What the fuck have you been doing, Harrington?"

"Steve didn't do anything, Eddie, please--" 

Robin pulled away from Steve, and when he looked back to her she had turned to face him. Her eyes were colder than he had ever seen them, even when she had hated him, and though she still didn't make eye contact, he could feel the intensity of her glare burning through his skin. Somehow, things were going even worse than Steve had imagined.

"I'd actually like to know the answer to that question, too, Steve," she said. Her voice belied a little of her usual nervousness, but her gaze didn't flinch.

"Rob..." 

"No, Steve. I've tried to stay out of it, because you obviously don't want to talk about it--" 

"I can't!" he said. Of course he wanted to tell her. Of course he did. He had never been the kind for big secrets. They drove him absolutely crazy, and that was why he had to ignore it. He had to, because it wasn't safe. It was bad enough that they had pulled Max into everything, last year. Steve couldn't handle another person with a target on their back because of the Upside Down.

Robin continued, as if he had never spoken. "--but you both keep bringing it up, and I can't just let it go anymore. I want to know what happened." 

"Robin, I signed papers," he sighed. 

"There are kids dying, Steve." 

"That's not... It's not even connected!" 

"How do you know that?" Eddie cut in. "Are you sure? Or are you just praying that it isn't?" 

Steve looked to Dustin, praying for back up, but the kid only shrugged. He knew that Dustin would probably be willing to tell them, because they wanted to know-- Dustin was even worse at secrets than Steve, not out of obsession but out of sheer joy for imparting knowledge. It probably had ocurred to him that Eddie and Robin would be in danger if anyone ever found out what they knew, but Dustin was the kind of person to think it was worth it. 

Steve wasn't that person. He couldn't be. He couldn't let Dustin paint a bigger, more legal target on his back, and he definitely couldn't drag Robin and Eddie into this. They could leave if they wanted to, but he wasn't going to hurt them like that. 

"You have no idea what you're asking me to do to you," Steve said. He stood, stepping back to put distance between him and Robin. 

"What the fuck, Harrington." All the anger was gone from Eddie's voice, leaving only vacant betrayal. Steve wanted to leave, wanted to sit in his bedroom floor and scream for half an hour. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his chest and dug his fingers into his sides until he felt his ribs ache. 

"What's the fucking point then, man?" Eddie continued. "I'd have better luck finding this guy if I walked out the door right now and did it myself." 

Something inside Steve broke. He was so tired of being left behind. He was so tired of watching people walk away. He was so tired of being told, without a trace of doubt, that life was better without Steve Harrington in it. He was so fucking tired of the fight, every fight, even the ones he asked for, being bigger than the love he had to give. He was so fucking tired, and when he was tired and cornered, Steve was known to bite. 

"And what are you gonna do when you find the guy, Eddie?" Steve asked, baring his teeth. "Huh? You gonna wieder him to death? You gonna give him a big, long speech about how life is so unfair and he should feel bad about himself?" 

Eddie pulled back, hurt flashing through his eyes as his woge fell away. "Man, fuck you--" 

Steve wasn't done with him yet. "It doesn't fucking matter, does it? Because if by some miracle you get the balls to actually take the guy out, my parents are going to fucking kill you. In fact, I'm the only person in this room, maybe the only person in this entire fucking state, who has a fucking chance of not having my parents put me down afterwards, so maybe everyone should just shut the fuck up and listen to me!" 

It was only after the words echoed through the room that Steve realised how much he was beginning to sound like Hopper. So much so, in fact, that Steve thought maybe he should have just invited the man along. Maybe this was what they needed, in the end, because Steve knew he was right. He was right, and he needed them to listen, and he needed them to stay. 

Just this fucking once. 

"Are we--" Robin's small, quiet voice tentatively broke the silence. "Are we going to talk about you saying that you only had a chance at your parents not--" 

Steve buried his face in his hands and felt a scream rising in his throat. So fucking much for the 'listening' part, apparently.

"I told you, Robin," he heard Dustin whisper. "Terminal fucking parental issues." 

"That is not the fucking point, guys," Eddie said, sounding awkward and a little scandalized about the whole thing. 

"No, the point is their legion of secrets that they won't tell anyone," Robin said. 

"Lots of people know; Just not you." 

"Dustin..." 

"Look, I don't have a problem with either of you knowing," Dustin said, "but if Steve thinks it's a bad idea, then I trust his judgement." 

That was enough to get Steve to emerge from his tantrum, a little mollified by the loyalty."Thank you, Dustin." 

"But if it effects the case, then we deserve to--" Robin began, but Steve was done. He wasn't just going to stand there and hear it all relitigated. Not when he'd already made his decision, and definitely not when people's lives were on the line. The lack of sleep was beginning to get to him, his head woozy and aching. Steve needed water and a Tylenol, and then probably more water-- He'd spent most of the night anxiety puking, and he was starting to feel like a dead bug. 

Tuning out Robin's protests, Steve walked into the kitchen-- But not before Eddie caught him by the arm, fingers tight at Steve's elbow. Steve leaned away, his body moving on instinct to push Eddie away or yank his arm out of Eddie's grip, but before he could start the fight Eddie had been asking for, the Blutbad threw him for a loop. 

"Are you okay, Steve?" 

It was hard not the scoff at the audacity, honestly. 

Steve tugged his arm out of Eddie's grip, more gently than he had planned, and kept walking. Maybe he was being a little hypocritical about the whole thing, but Steve thought he was allowed. His brain already felt like it was in a pressure cooker, and Eddie's inability to decide whether or not he liked Steve was rapidly becoming least favorite thing.  Being angry was one thing; Steve had expected that, had almost expected Eddie to never speak to him again, but there was really no reason to be so wishy-washy about it. Even before the bad news, Eddie had blown hot and cold, all the way until the end. Eddie couldn't even keep his name consistent-- He was a disdainful Harrington in one breath, and Steve again in the next. 

It was like dating Nancy again, only worse, because now Steve didn't even know what he was supposed to be doing. There was no rules for if a dude was playing hard to get about being your fucking friend, of all things. Of all the things that had happened in the last few months, that was definitely the strangest. 

Did adulthood always make friendship so complicated, Steve thought as he pulled a glass out of the cabinet, or was it the monster shit that had it all screwed up? 

Turning on the faucet, Steve didn't hear the walkie-talkie that he had abandoned, months ago, on its charger on the kitchen counter crackle to life. It was only when the voice repeated itself, annoyance clear in its voice, that Steve could even make it out over the rush of water. 

"Hello? Are any of you losers there?" 

It was a girl's voice, faintly familiar but obviously not Max or El's. It was far too young to be anyone else on their frequency, younger than even the Party, maybe. They also weren't using any of the codes or ettiquette Dustin and Lucas had written out for them, so it couldn't have been one of their school friends-- At least, not one with any real fear of being lectured for hours about it. Sitting his glass down, Steve reached over and grabbed the walkie off the stand. 

"Who is this?" he asked, slowly. He wasn't sure how this could be a trap, but it certainly felt like one. 

"Who am I?" the voice said. "Who is this? Are the nerd herd with you?" 

Ah, that made more sense-- Steve finally recognized the voice, and why he knew it. Erica Sinclair, Lucas's little sister, had been a frequent guest at Scoops Ahoy all summer, although she had an obvious disdain for her brother and all his friends. And that, of course, included Steve. Maybe even especially Steve, since he was the one old enough to know better. Most of her visits were uninterrupted roast sessions, but Steve enjoyed them; She was honestly really funny, and it was nice to spend time with a kid unaffected by the Upside Down. It was the same reason while he still looked after Holly months after he broke up with Nancy. 

"Oh, hello, Erica. It's Steve. Are you looking for your brother?" 

"What other loser would I be talking about?" 

"Um, he's not here," Steve said, glancing over his shoulder at the group waiting for him in the living room. "Maybe he'll pick up on his walkie if you keep trying?" 

Erica huffed. Steve wasn't sure why she needed to broadcast her huff to him, but he was sure it was a carefully calculated attack. "Idiot, I'm on his walkie!" 

"Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense," Steve said. A beat passed, then, "Wait, he left his walkie at home?" 

That didn't make any sense. Steve frowned. Lucas was always the most responsible of the group, and the only one Steve trusted to make good decisions in an emergency situation. The idea that he would just leave their only dependable lifeline at home? Nonsensical. It hadn't even been a full year since the last Upside Down incident. The kids were smarter than that. And if they weren't, then Steve was going to kick their ass... After he pulled Lucas out of whatever situation he'd gotten himself into. 

"Eyes on the prize, Harrington, because that is so not the point." Erica's voice lost some of it's brovado, although she was still giving a valiant effort. "Lucas said this walkie was for emergencies, and I'm calling one in. Do you know where Lucas is?" 

Dread started building in Steve's stomach. "Uh, no, but I-- Dustin is here, I'll ask him." 

Steve jogged to the living room, adrenaline starting to fizz through his veins. Things were starting to pile up in a way that Steve didn't trust-- Lucas was missing and Erica was calling for him, frightened, while a known serial kidnapper was loose in the area? He knew the chances that the Blutbad would go after his kids were low, but the chances of having a MKUltra victim with super powers as a little sister were also pretty low. He had a feeling that he couldn't shake, one so strong that it was beginning to make him dizzy. 

Luckily, the argument in the living room had mostly died down in Steve's short absence, although Dustin was looking at him like someone had kicked his dog. 

"Dustin, do you know where Lucas is today?" 

Dustin's face creased with thought, a frown appearing on his face. Steve pressed the talk button so Erica could hear his answer, too. "At Mike's, I think? They were all meeting up for a big oneshot to cheer Will up--" 

"Of course he's playing that stupid nerd game when I need him!" Erica interrupted. "I already called the Wheelers, and no one picked up, because they're all in that smelly, stupid basement--" 

Despite all of Erica's bluster, Steve could hear the genuine fear in her voice. And, sure, maybe they were both being paranoid-- There had been a lot of times when Steve had been home alone, scared out of his wits, when there had been nothing wrong but an overactive imagination. If she just kept calling Mike, someone would pick up, eventually. Mike was never more than two steps from his walkie, even though he wasn't as strict with things as Dustin was-- But then, Steve would have said the same about Lucas until today. Besides, who knew how long that would take? 

Steve prayed he was wrong, but he was pretty sure they didn't have time. 

"Erica, what's wrong?" Steve asked, trying to override the panic in her brain with his voice. "Where are your parents?" 

"They went to a church thing?" Erica said, like even in a life or death situation, she really didn't care what her parents did with their time. "They were supposed to be back by now, I don't know where they are." 

Charles and Sue Sinclair were wonderful parents; Steve knew that for a fact. There was no reason to think that they would leave Erica alone if there was a chance she was in danger. The neighbors were probably watching the house, just to give Erica the illusion of the freedom that she so often demanded. They probably just got sidetracked with something on their way home-- Erica and Lucas took care of themselves all the time, always floating from one friends' house to the next with the happy knowledge that their parents would come get them, no matter what. Steve knew that. 

But even if Erica didn't recognize the fear and confusion in her own voice, Steve did. He still heard it come out of his mouth when he ran into his middle school English teacher at the grocery store, or when his Little League coach stopped him at the park. He hated being asked where his parents were, how they were getting on, what they were doing. He hated being reminded of his own blind spot, the giant, bleeding weakness plain as day on his back. 

"Okay, well, keep calm--" Steve tried. 

"What I do know is that mouthbreather brother of mine better show up fast," Erica said, voice jumping in her throat, "because there are people trying to get in my house, and I am not playing with these white people's nonsense today!" 

"What?" Dustin said, although Steve could barely hear him over the sudden roaring in his ears. "Next time start with that!" 

And suddenly it was real. The trickle of adrenaline that had been slowly increasing his heartrate suddenly became a flood, and Steve could feel when it crossed from human into something else. Every cell in his body came alive, and the chill from his veins suddenly consumed the entire world. Everything was cold and clear, like the silence after the first snow of the winter-- Every harried thought, every extraneous emotion, fell away suddenly, and Steve knew exactly what to do. 

There wasn't enough time to consult the rest of the room, and Steve wouldn't have listened if they tried to stop him, anyway. They were smart Wesen, clever friends and allies, and as Steve turned and headed for the front door, he trusted them to follow. He tossed the walkie to Robin as he passed, not bothering to stop long enough to see how her surprised, fumbling catch turned out

"Stay on the line with her," Steve said as he pulled on his boots. They were new, a paranoid purchase he'd made from a catalogue one night after a nightmare about the tunnels. They pulled at his feet as he shoved them on, too new to offer any comfort or real support, but the extra weight behind his foot would be worth the blisters it would give him. 

"Hey, Erica! It's Robin!" 

Eddie scrambled to put his Reeboks on and take his jacket off at the same time, hopping along on one foot. He nearly bowled Dustin over as the kid bent over to put his own shoes on. 

"Is everybody in this house except my brother?" 

"Uh. Yeah, basically." 

"Typical." 

Robin was talking to Erica like nothing was happening, and it was just another day of making fun of Steve at Scoops, but she was never less than a full step behind Steve's heels. Some distant part of Steve's brain that still cared about things like loyalty and free will was so grateful for her-- For her willingness to take this on, and her ability to keep Erica calm. And although Eddie was far clumsier, there was no denying that he was just as eager to have Steve's back. The Blutbad left his leather jacket thrown over the back of Steve's couch, and as Steve and Robin flew down the stairs, Steve could hear the delicate sounds of Eddie's jewlerey landing in the Harrington key bowl. 

Eddie was a weider, preparing to go to war for a little girl he'd never met. Robin was a fuchsbau, a psuedo-predator who worked in the shadows, with her teeth already bared in challenge. These people were so fucking good. 

Dustin lagged behind, panting as he sprinted after them, his shoes still untied. 

"Hey! Hey, will you athletic predator assholes please slow down for the rest of us?" 

Steve's Grimm brain hated that idea. He needed Dustin to stay home, needed to make sure that at least one of his family was safe at home. Even past the fear, there was the cold hard logic of what Steve needed to do. How was he supposed to get Erica out of there alive if half his brain was focused instead on keeping Dustin out of trouble? Being a babysitter was the best thing that had ever happened to him, but it didn't mesh with Grimming. Dustin could boss him around about it all he wanted, but he would do it over the walkie, where he would be safe. 

"You're staying here," Steve said, yanking open the Bimmer door. "Hold the fort down, okay, Henderson?" 

"You're insane if you think I'm going to let you go without me," Dustin said, cheeks puffing as he huffed. "If this is the guy--" 

"If it's the guy then you're in just as much danger as Erica is with him. Stay home!" 

"If something goes wrong, someone needs to be around to call for back up." 

"That's what Eddie and Robin--" Steve began, but Robin's harried voice cut him off. 

"Guys!" She leveled Steve with a wide-eyed look over the car door. "I get it, but we're running out of time." 

Fuck, but she wasn't wrong. Steve gave her a short, tense nod, and then turned back to Dustin. 

"Fine," he said, because there was no telling what Dustin would do once he was left to his own devices. "But you stay behind me, and you keep your mouth shut. Understood?" 

For the first time in his life, Dustin didn't look interested in arguing. He nodded furiously, pushing past Steve to crawl into the Bimmer's backseat with Eddie, who immediately began bitching about Dustin climbing all over him. Steve gave himself one moment of humanity to sigh and briefly close his eyes, preying for a little patience and a lot of luck. When he finally heard the door slam behind Dustin, Steve pulled the Grimm back over him like a cloak, and started the ignition. 

The drive to the Sinclair house was both the fastest and the longest it's ever felt. Steve had been driving Hawkins' streets daily for years now, long before it was legal-- The past few months, especially, had him driving between his house and the Sinclairs' most days of the week, with stops at the Hendersons', the Byers', and the Wheelers' in between. There were no stops today, and Steve used every trick and shortcut he'd ever learned on these roads. He ran every red light, cut every corner possible, and still every inch felt like it was taking a millenium. 

Part of Steve hoped that Hop or one of his lackeys was lying in wait somewhere, ready to stop any joyriding teens or overworked house wife from running rampant. His car wasn't exactly inconspicuous, and they probably knew they wouldn't have to chase him down to ticket him, but ever since he'd been dropping by the station to say hi to Hop, they'd taken great glee in pulling him over. Usually, Steve was a huge bitch about it, but he would welcome it today-- He had no idea what he was about to drive into, and having armed back up was always welcome. 

Unfortunately, the cops seemed to only like Steve when he didn't want them around, because no one even blinked at Steve's driving. Not even his passengers-- Eddie's eyes were glued to the road like he was the one driving, and Robin, who usually slapped Steve on the arm when he took a turn a little too fast, was rambling about something inconsequential to Erica. Dustin's eyes were closed, and he hadn't moved since they'd gotten on the road. Claudia had never mentioned religion to Steve, collapsed or otherwise, and Dustin was a science man through and through, but for a moment Steve had to wonder if Dustin was praying. 

Steve slid into the Sinclair's road sideways, a move he hadn't pulled since he was stupid and picking up girls in the Melvad's parking lot at night. The smell of burnt rubber filled the car, and he could hear the distinct crunch of the neighbor's garden gnomes falling sacrifice to the abused tires. Dustin was the first to throw open the door, sending a trashcan bouncing into the neighbor's yard. 

In front of them, parked on the street, was an unmarked white van. As Steve got out of the car, he motioned towards it with his head-- It was a bit cliched, sure, but it was also an unfamiliar vehicle at the scene of a kidnapping. Robin frowned as she came up next to him, and Eddie, who was trying to shove Dustin back in the car, paused for a moment. 

"No plates?" he said, frowning as he pinned Dustin against the seat with his forearm. "Not exactly a great sign." 

"What the fuck does Hop even have the officers doing?" Steve muttered under his breath. 

Robin was already heading towards the Sinclair's driveway. "We're here, okay, Erica? We're here. Everything's going to be--" Steve yanked the walkie from her grip. He appreciated how well she held it together on the way here, but she wasn't exactly his first choice for a negotiator in a life or death situation. 

"Erica, this is Steve. Listen to me. Whatever you do, keep away from the windows," Steve said, scanning the front of the Sinclair house. He'd like to send her to the second floor, out of the way of any crossfire, but if she needed a fast exit from the back door, it would only make things more difficult. "Put as many walls between you and the front of the house as you possibly can. Okay?" 

"Excuse me--" Erica's voice said, but he tossed the walkie back to Robin.  There wasn't any more time left for negotiations. 

Steve began to slowly approach the van, trying to keep his gait casual, but he doubted anyone would think a roving band of teens was up to anything but mischief. Especially with as hot of an entrance as Steve had made. Eddie finally let Dustin up, hissing at him to stay close, and the kid only threw him a dirty look before rushing to Steve's side. 

The van was clean and well-maintained, just unassuming enough to be obviously from out of town. There wasn't a single Hawkins handyman who put that much thought into their vehicle, and the mechanics advertised their skills through their own rides-- No one else in town would drive a van like this at all; Even the soccer moms had better taste. Hell, the only person who actually lived in Hawkins who drove a van every day was Eddie. 

"There's still a driver inside," Steve muttered. He couldn't make out a face, or any real features, but it was obviously a man. Short, brown hair, white skin, as unassuming as his vehicle. It wasn't possible to tell if he was Wesen or not from here, obviously, but it was stranger than the image Steve had in his head of his culprit-- It was much easier to think of some hulking Blutbad as a villian, some twisted version of Eddie or Wayne snatching kids up in the middle of the night. This was just... some guy.

"There's another one in the bushes next to the window," Eddie said under his breath. Steve followed his gaze back to the front of the Sinclairs' house. 

The man had already turned to face them, and without the shadow of the car, Steve's new vision let him see the man's face. He was handsome, in a bland 1940s sort of way, the kind of man that wouldn't be too out of place in his mother's yearbooks. He, too, was brunette, with his hair closely cropped and slicked back. Everything else about him was equally unremarkable, from the white button down to the pressed but unaffected blue jeans. 

The only thing Steve could focus on was his smile. He had never been really good at reading people's faces, but it wasn't hard to get what the man was trying to say, with the easy grin on his face. There was nothing wrong with him being here, nothing to catch him out on-- This was totally normal, and he was so trustworthy, and didn't you just want to move along? 

Steve knew that move. Steve had practically invented that move. This smarmy asshole using it like this, to hurt kids and get away with it, was fucking infuriating. Was this really what had been going on? Had he really gotten away with this fifty fucking times? Steve had known people were stupid, but this was a new low. He could feel the familiar, inhuman anger growing in him, so sharp by now that it felt like his ribs were growing fangs. His chest panged, but for once Steve was grateful that his powers had given him a way to make his anger useful, for once. 

"Eddie, I need you to watch my back and keep eyes on the driver. Sound good?" 

Eddie nodded. He stayed close, at Steve's right shoulder, but as they turned down the Sinclair's driveway, he kept his upper body angled down the street. Dustin climbed into the front seat of the Bimmer, and waved his walkie at Steve through the open window. 

Good, the little shit was listening to him for once. 

The closer they got, the faker the asshole in front of them seemed. He obviously didn't belong here-- Although he had obviously tried to emulate the relaxed fatherly look of the men in the neighborhood, he was too clean and intentional to fit. His shirt was spotless and his blue jeans were immaculately creased, like he had gone out of his way to iron them this morning. He was dressed like someone Steve's dad used to work with, wearing the costume of a "normal person" on the weekends to seem like something besides a jumped-up office jockey. 

What business man would be hanging outside someone else's house, harassing a little girl, though? As they drew closer, Steve woged, and looked the man directly in the eyes. The hollow, smiling face remained entirely human, and Steve answered it with a grim smile of his own. 

Government, then. Motherfucker. 

The man waved, not a trace of fear or shame in him. "Hey! Hell of an entrance, friend."

"You're not supposed to be here," Steve said, flashing bared teeth around the edges of his consonants. 

"Son," the man said. The fakey small town charm had fallen out of his voice, leaving the kind of bored, assumed authority Steve only heard from onscreen cops or his own father.  "This is an adult's situation, so why don't you and your friends--" 

"No. You're not supposed to be here. Leave or I'm going to call the cops," Steve said, and hoped Hop was close enough to get here before Steve started swinging. 

Despite the threat, the man only smiled, a hint of smugness on his face. He reached into his pocket and Steve tensed, hand nearest to Robin darting out to pull her by the belt loop more firmly behind him. He thought it might be a knife, or a gun or something, but instead the man only pulled out a badge-- From what Steve could tell, it was real, but there was nothing about it that gave away any information. Not that it would have mattered. Steve had met assholes like this last fall, when they had been trying to convince Joyce to let them do more tests on Will, and he, Nancy, and Jonathan had to cajole Mike and El into staying hidden in the other room instead of starting a fight. 

"Let me introduce myself. My name is Special Agent Ritter, and I'm with the American Government. I'm really going to have to ask you all to--" 

Steve felt Robin and Eddie stiffen behind him. He knows they're thinking about the argument and his 'guys'-- He would be, too, if he didn't know any better. Steve knows that he hasn't exactly been the most anti-government member of their little 'Party'. Most days, it doesn't feel like it effects him very much, outside of keeping El safe. Sure, he doesn't trust them any more than the others do, and he's never been the President's biggest fan, but they all share a common enemy in the Mindflayer and the Upside Down. They're a necessary evil. 

But added to everything else he knows, Steve can't stop thinking about those kids. Fifty of them, and who knows how many before Dustin had started looking. And now the government, outside of Erica's house? Erica, of all people? If the government was trying to fuck with Erica and maybe Lucas, then what would stop them from messing with the other kids? He knows they're not above it. He knows they took El and her siblings already. What were the chances of this not being a crazed Blutbad, barely tied to Wesen culture at all, and was just another government plot to turn them into a weapon? 

Steve hoped he was wrong, but if he wasn't-- Well. He's never won a fight before, but he's never tried to kill anyone, either. It'll be interesting to see how that goes for him. 

There is one bright, shining light if it is the government, though: A way to get Ritter away from his fucking kids. 

"Great! That makes this all so much easier," Steve said brightly, clapping his hands together. 

"Steve..." Eddie mumbled, but Steve steamrolled on. 

"The house you're standing in front of belongs to the family of Lucas Sinclair. Do you know that name? I bet your boss does," Steve said, his grin widening. "You can go ask him, if you don't believe me. These kids are protected, sir, so I'm gonna have to ask you to leave that little girl alone." 

Ritter blinked, and for a moment, Steve was sure he had him. It was only a moment, though. Just a crack in that perfect mask. The smile was still on his face when he nodded, and then paused. 

"You--" 

The Sinclairs' front door was thrown open, the clatter cutting Ritter off. He and Steve looked up in sync, to the top of the short stairs, where Erica Sinclair stood, glaring down at them. 

"Are y'all done yet?" she demanded, hands on her hips. "Tell him to get his weird ass out of my yard!"  

"Erica!" Dustin threw himself out of the car, yelling the entire time he was picking himself up off the ground. "Erica, go back inside!" 

"What? I'm not afraid of a nerdy ass cop! I know my rights!" 

Dustin and Robin both sprinted towards Erica, who watched them come with a glare. Robin got there first, with a gentle hand on Erica's shoulder, but it was obvious she didn't want to push, and Erica wasn't going without a fight. Dustin was right behind her, huffing and puffing from his sprint across the yard, but Erica wiggled away from him, and pressed into Robin's side. 

"If one more person touches me, I am going to scream." 

"Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea," Robin muttered under her breathe, but she had never been a great whisperer. 

"Oh, I don't think we need to get the neighbors involved in all this," Ritter said, that same eerie smile still plastered on his face. "There's no telling what would happen to such a little girl in the middle of a big ol' mess." 

That was a threat, plain as day. One that set alarm bells off in Steve's head. As much as Ritter had wanted Erica, enough to risk being seen snatching her up in pure daylight, he didn't care if she made it out of this alive or dead. Steve didn't want to think about what that meant for the other missing kids-- Couldn't spare the brainpower it would take to process the grief. All he knew was that it meant it wasn't enough to just get Erica away from them; She had seen their faces. They all had. They were all in danger, which meant Steve wasn't going to turn his back on these men for a moment. 

His gaze flickered to the van driver for just a moment, before going back to Ritter. 

Eddie leaned into Steve's side, voice low in his ear. "He hasn't moved. He's just watching us." 

Steve took a deep breath, letting himself settle with the knowledge that Eddie had his back, and Robin was still in-between Ritter and the kids. He wasn't expected to do this alone, for once, or chase after answers on his own. 

The warmth of Eddie against him gave Steve the confidence to raise his chin, giving Ritter his smugest, most King-ly glare. "I'm serious, man. You don't know who you're messing with." 

The smile dropped off Ritter's face for the first time. "If that's a threat--" 

"No. I'm just trying to help. You keep messing with Lucas Sinclair's little sister, maybe she disappears in the middle of the night--" Steve shrugged, as if it didn't matter to him either way. "--things are going to be very bad at the office tomorrow. Really, call your boss. Ask him about Dr. Owens. We'll wait." 

Ritter's eyes narrowed, but whatever he found in Steve's face had him sighing, and dropping his gaze. "Alright," he said. "Alright, I suppose it can't hurt to check. I'll be right back." Ritter walked, slowly, keeping his hands in Steve's view, out of the bushes. Steve kept his gaze glued to Ritter's back as he made his way across the bus, not moving a muscle even as the others milled around behind him. 

Steve didn't buy that easy capitulation for a minute. It honestly had less to do with the man being a serial kidnapper and plain just because he was an adult-- Since when did adults ever believe what kids said without a reason? Besides, there was no way in hell that whoever sent him didn't know that Lucas lived here. There was no way that they had just been snatching random children from their home with no one knowing. Not when it was the fucking government. Steve's intention had only been to make it very clear that he knew what was going on, but he hadn't expected Ritter to fold. Or to pretend to, either. 

As Ritter approached the van, Steve strained his hearing, hoping that whatever Reagan's boys knew about Hawkins and Wesen didn't go far enough to make them lower their voices. 

"We have a problem?" The driver's voice was rougher than Ritter's, a low accented growl that Steve would have told you was the stuff of fiction, at least in Indiana. 

Ritter looked back over his shoulder at Steve and the rest, shaking his head. "They're kids from the lab incident last year, apparently." 

The driver hissed through his teeth. "Bad lack." 

"No kidding. "Daddy's boy, there, told me to talk to Dr. Owens." 

"Worse luck for them," the driver said with a laugh. "You think the Doc really would have gone to bat for them?" 

"Probably. You know he always had a soft spot for the kid," Ritter said. Steve saw him shrug. "That's why they had to cut him loose." 

The driver grunted in acknowledgement, and then after a beat of silence, continued. "We still taking the girl?" 

"Yeah," Ritter said, like it had never been in question. "There's another little one, probably one of the freaks. We could take him, too, real easy." 

"And the others?" 

Ritter hummed, considering, and then said, "Too many of 'em, and they're old enough to put up a fight. I don't want a repeat of that bear asshole. It's quieter just to get rid of them now." 

"Five kids is going to be pretty noticeable."                                                                                                

"Eh, it'll be alright. We've always got the city." 

"That's true. We could keep going on runaways for the rest of the decade, if this winter is as cold as last year." 

"And by next summer, no one will remember these kids," Ritter said, relishing every syllable. 

There was another long moment of silence, and the driver asked, "It ever freak you out how fast they forget, in these towns?" 

"Nah," Ritter said, "I get paid too much to think." 

Then there was a sound, a sound that Steve only recognized from the months he had spent with Nancy. It was a sound he couldn't have even told you he was familiar with, a sound he had been fairly hopeful he might never hear again: It was the gentle, metallic click of a gun's safety being slid off. The thought barely even processed before his body reacted, sending him into the same spiral of violence a woged Wesen did-- The racing thoughts, the pulsing muscles, the doubled pulse. 

For once, Steve did not want to hold back. For once, Steve wanted to hurt these men. He wanted to hurt them very badly.

He watched Ritter turn back to them with a smile, and knew what he had to do.

"I need you both to take the kids and run," Steve said. 

All four voices raised in protest, but before they could even get a syllable out, Steve hissed a warning. Literally. Without even thinking about it, Steve hissed through his teeth, a sound more guttural than anything he could have intentionally made. All arguments fell into awkward, unfinished sounds in the air around him. Clumsily, without taking his eyes off Ritter slowly making his way back, Steve pressed the keys to the Bimmer into Eddie's palm. 

For just a moment, Steve let himself indulge in the warm, dry slide of Eddie's fingers against his. It was all he could do. Might be all he ever had the chance to, now. He just wanted to know what it might be like, if Eddie held his hand. 

Steve swallowed his own future and squared his shoulders, letting his hand fall away from Eddie's.

The driver got out of the van and fell into step with Ritter, trailing a little behind. They were both smiling in a way that left Steve unsettled, like baring their teeth at prey. 

"No arguments," Steve said, keeping his voice low and even. His hands folded into fists at his sides.  "There's not a lot of time left, and things are about to go very badly. I need you all to follow my lead." 

There wasn't a peep from the others as Ritter got within hearing distance. Steve knew they wanted to fight back, knew they wanted to tell him where he could shove his plan, but none of them flinched for a second. Pride filled Steve as silence overtook the little yard-- Even Erica, the sole human among them, was silent and unmoving in the face of danger. He only hoped he would make it out of this alive so he could tell her how good she was doing. 

"Steve Harrington, right?" Ritter said. Steve tried not to flinch at the sudden confrontation with his last name. Honestly, it didn't matter one way or another; Steve was either going to die here or he wouldn't, and no amount of anonymity was going to get him out of it. But it unsettled him to know that his name was important enough to someone for this man to remember it. Somewhere, in all those big files about El and Will and who knew what else, was Steve's name. Not just 'Nancy's boyfriend', or 'Dustin's babysitter', but him. 

And that meant that someone had decided he wasn't worth keeping alive. 

"... Right."

Before the confirmation could even leave Steve's mouth properly, his eyes flicked down to the driver's hand, hidden in his jacket. There was a twitch, a movement, something-- Steve would haved liked to say it was like something out of an action movie, time and space shifting liquid around him, but it wasn't anything that controlled. For all his strengths, Steve hadn't become a fighter overnight. Instead, Steve found himself out of control for the second time, his body reacting entirely on its own. 

With Eddie, Steve had held himself back. He hadn't been there to hurt Eddie, and wasn't looking forward to a fight, so he'd locked the instincts down as quickly as he did with El or Robin. This time, though, there was nothing to stop-- For once, Steve and his instincts were in total agreement. 

Before the gun even cleared the jacket's lapel, Steve threw himself at the man. The guy had a few inches and probably a few dozen pounds on him, but he wasn't trying for a full tackle. Steve's only goal at the moment was to put as much of himself in between the gun and the kids.

The man grunted as Steve's weight hit him, stumbling back from the momentum, but his feet dug into the dirt and held firm. Steve's lungs wheezed as he crumpled against the man's chest, like a car running into a brick wall. He could feel the barrel of the gun digging into his side as the driver struggled to push him off-- Steve grabbed at the man's wrist, already feeling the man's tendons beginning to tense under his fingers. 

It was only the fear that gave Steve the strength to push the gunman's hand down before the bullet fired. 

Steve gasped, the sound overwhelming him more than the pain. He felt it hit, sure, like being frogged in the thigh by a particularly enthusiastic upperclassmen, but nothing like he would have thought it would be. Of all the beatings Steve had taken in the last few years, this didn't even clear the top two. Hell, he would rather get shot again then chance a bite with a demodog. 

If only his fucking leg would listen to him. 

He kept trying to push forward, tried to dig his heels in and make this son of a bitch move, get him one step further from his kids, but his leg refused to listen. It just went cold, sluggishly bleeding, mocking him with little thumps of pain that meant absolutely nothing to his frenzied brain. 

It was then that Steve realised he was falling. 

Well, he thought, as his good leg started to collapse-- Might as well make the most of it. 

Holding tight to the man, Steve flung himself onto the Sinclair's driveway. The man came tumbling down after him, dragged down by Steve's sudden dead weight-- And Steve was already rolling before they hit the ground, trying to pin the driver underneath him. It wouldn't last very long, if he could even manage it, but it would be enough to give the kids time to run. 

The driver's neck strained as he glared at Steve, trying desperately to get some leverage by keeping himself off the ground. "Jumped up little shit," the driver muttered. 

The only answer Steve could give was a feral growl in the back of his throat, then reaching up to slam the man's head back into the gravel. Blow after blow was landing on Steve's ribs, enough force behind each punch to give Billy Hargrove a run for his money. His fingernails were beginning to tear and bleed from how hard Steve was hanging on. Neither of them were winning, and neither of them were willing to give up. 

Sometime in the last year, Steve thought as he struggled, he really should have learned how to fight. A real fight, not tips and tricks from his ancestors in a dusty notebook, or the regulated self-defense classes at the YMCA. A real fight, with someone who wanted to kill you. Hopper could have taught him, probably-- If Steve made it out of this, he was absolutely going to dedicate the rest of his life to learning. 

Out of options, Steve latched onto the driver's shoulder. "Ow, you fucking Wesen freaks--" 

From behind him, Ritter said, "Fuck, James, hold on." 

Robin was faster. Steve could make it out from the corner of his vision, although he couldn't afford to watch too closely-- She was woged, all teeth and fangs and glowing eyes. She was clumsier than Steve, but not by much, and she launched herself at Ritter with a rage that even Nancy would have balked at.

Blood spattered next to Steve on the grass, the smell filling the air.

Distantly, Steve could hear Eddie and the children. Erica and Dustin were yelling at the top of their lungs, Eddie was cursing under his breath, and the Bimmer doors were slamming open and shut. When he heard the familiar rumble of his ignition, Steve felt himself go lax with relief. 

He couldn't do this forever. He was cold. So fucking cold, all over his body, and though his leg still didn't hurt, Steve knew enough to know that it wasn't exactly a good sign. Now that the kids and Eddie were safe, the adrenaline wasn't enough to keep him moving. He was tired, and fading fast. Steve wished Robin had gone with Eddie and the kids, wished that she wasn't resigned to the same uncertain future that he was, but he had to stop fighting. 

The driver pushed him off, and Steve fell into the grass limply, his ribs protesting as he rolled. He tried to get to his feet, tried to at least be enough of a distraction to let Robin make a run for it-- The pressure on his left leg was enough to make the pain known, the burn of the wound through his leg sending bile up his throat. He collapsed, vomiting into the Sinclairs' manicured lawn. 

When Steve looked back up, vision blurry with tears, the driver had his gun to Robin's head. 

"Stay down, or I will put her down."

Steve raised his hands, palms open, in supplication. 

Grabbing Robin by her hair, the driver pulled her away from Ritter, her claw pulling out of his shoulder with a sickening spurt of blood. "You gonna behave now?" he asked her. 

Eyes wide, Robin nodded. 

"Good," the driver said. "Then--" 

Ritter backhanded Robin across the face hard, sending her stumbling into the driver's chest. Steve whimpered, trying to peel himself off the grass, but there was no use. The burning in his leg had started to spread, and he could feel his own blood warming the ground beneath him. 

"Lionel!" the driver snapped. 

"The fucking bitch took off half of my shoulder!" Ritter hissed, all former pretense of respectability gone from his voice. Even his accent had changed, from the broad, transatlantic relatability of a government stooge to the rough vocal fry of the West. "Fuck, that hurts." 

Robin tried to sneer, but her animal eyes were blown and shifty, like a hunted rabbit. She wasn't meant for this; Steve had known for years now that this would probably be how he died, even before being a Grimm had all but confirmed it for him, but he hadn't ever meant for anyone to come with him. 

"Just let her go, man," Steve gasped, trying to sound reasonable through clenched teeth. 

Ritter squatted, baring his teeth at Steve in a mockery of a Wesen's posturing. "You're not really in a position to start making demands, Harrington." He wasn't wrong, but Steve wasn't about to let that stop him. If anyone knew how to find leverage in a desperate situation, it was Steve. 

"And you're not really in a position to be wasting any time." Steve forced himself to stop trembling, pushing the shock and his sluggish heartbeat to the back of his mind. He met Ritter's eyes, pushing his woge until he was sure Ritter could the smoky, echoing haze of his eyes as clearly as the Wesen could. It might not scare him without a woge of his own to trigger, but Steve was willing to bet it would unsettle Ritter enough to make him listen. "Gunshots in a town like Hawkins, middle of the day? Our friends are already gone, and it won't be long until they find help. How long do you think it will take the cops to show up?" 

"Not long enough to hide the bodies, that's for sure," Robin jumped in. 

Ritter looked up at the driver, a moment passing as their eyes met in silent conversation. After a beat, the driver nodded. 

"Get him in the van," the driver said, shoving Robin towards the road. 

Steve stared up at Ritter, watching him pull what looked like a large, archaic flashlight out of his back pocket. It took a moment, but Steve had spent enough time dicking around in Hop's office this spring to recognize it for what it was: One of those fancy stun guns, like the cops they used in the big cities. Hopper hated them, said that there was no one in Hawkins who deserved to get electrocuted that didn't also deserve to get shot, but Steve had thought they were pretty nifty. 

He guessed he was about to find out. 

Letting his head fall back into the dirt, Steve sighed. "Make it quick, asshole." 

There was a snap, then a light tug in his side, and the world was on fire until it kindly faded into black. 

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

Everything Changes

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/0Ns3ID2 by VoidCatwithCoffee Spending the summer in Gravity Falls isn't what Dipper expected. There's mysteries to sink his teeth into, at least that can keep him entertained. But he has many questions about his Grunkle Stan's employee, Martin Blackwood. What could he be hiding here? What else could this town have hidden? . . . . . A TMA/Gravity Falls fanfic where Jon and Martin live their lives in their Somewhere Else, in Gravity Falls, Oregon! Right? Surely nothing can go wrong! Words: 22184, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English Series: Part 2 of To Make A Home Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Gravity Falls Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: Gen, M/M Characters: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, Stan Pines, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Dipper & Mabel's Parent's Mention, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez, Wendy Corduroy, ti - Character, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Sasha James, Ford Pines, Fiddleford H. McGucket, Gideon Gleeful Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: Location: Somewhere Else (The Magnus Archives), Gravity Falls Oregon, Somewhere Else Is Gravity Falls, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - The Magnus Archives Fusion, Canon-Typical The Beholding Content (The Magnus Archives), Canon-Typical The Lonely Content (The Magnus Archives), Post-Episode: e200 Last Words (The Magnus Archives), Gravity Falls Spoilers, References to Book: The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls), Spoilers for Book: The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls), Pine Twins Divorce Implied, child endangerment, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Has Chronic Pain, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Has Self-Esteem Issues, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Has Many Eyes, Protective Martin Blackwood, Stan Pines Swearing, Dipper Pines Needs A Hug, Good Sister Mabel Pines, Supportive Mabel Pines, Protective Mabel Pines, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Tags Are Hard, Tags Contain Spoilers read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/0Ns3ID2

[hannahhook7744]

The Elegant Hannah Hook;

Summary: In a world where Hannah Hook didn't leave the isle until the barrier was brought down in d3, she interrupts a hero council meeting. Trigger Warnings: swearing, vandalism, implied child abuse, implied prejudice/classism, implied death (including child death), improper graveyard behavior, mentioned murder, child endangerment, etc.

Apart of the 'Never-Left-The-Isle Hannah Hook'.

Was co-written with @igetthedisneybox .

------------------------------------------------------------

Ben couldn’t help but smile as he looked at his friends, then outside the window at the Isle, seeing it clearly without the magic barrier.

He felt a peace in his heart that he hadn’t felt in a long time as he squeezed Mal’s hand. “So. To start this meeting, does anyone have any ideas?”

“Well, this isn't my idea but Gil, Hook, and Uma were talking about how to improve life on the isle for the kids who are stuck living there until further notice—” Jay started, leaning back in his chair. 

“Maybe we should worry about changing things here first.” Belle interrupted.

Jay resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “What here needs to change so urgently that we can't clean up the isle for the kids who aren't old enough to leave? What here is more important than cleaning up the pollution the barrier collected in the water around it?”

Belle blanched slightly. “Well, I–uh, for the children of Auradon–”

“Have been well cared for unlike the isle kids. Which reminds me, is there some way to make a memorial or a funeral or something for all the kids and people who died on the isle?” Carlos asked. Figuring that if she was gonna interrupt, then he could too. 

Mal gave him a confused look. “I thought the BDA had that handled?”

“Mal, some of the BDA didn't even exist during some of the deaths.” Carlos sighed. “And they only documented the cases. They didn't handle any of the funerals if there were any. Most of the people who died were just thrown in the catacombs, given a sailor's funeral, or were tossed into the mass grave at Dragon Hall.”

“Wait, the graveyard at Dragon Hall is a real graveyard? I thought Dr. Facilier said it was fake?” Evie looked as if she had swallowed a lemon. 

Most of the heroes in the room looked horrified. “Mass graves?” A few whispered to themselves.

Carlos just raised an eyebrow at Evie. “And you believed him?”

“I–well, yeah! I mean, we played there. Surely he wouldn't want us playing on his son's grave, right?” The bluenette defended. 

“It's not like there was much free land for burial, E.” Mal winced. 

Ben cleared his throat. “As much as this conversation needs to happen–and it will happen, trust me–we are getting off topic. As of now, we can focus on the Isle children that are still with us and need help now.”

The kids immediately perked up. 

“Frollo needs to be dealt with then, before he kills the rest of his children–”

Knock. 

Knock. 

Knock. 

So many of the heroes jumped at once, it looked like a major electric shock just went through them. Florian yelped.

“Is that coming from the window?” Snow White squeaked in surprise.

“Seems it.” Evie nodded, still absorbing the new information she had just been given. All her plans for the meeting suddenly gone from her mind.

Mal wrinkled her nose. “Who in Auradon would try knocking on the window?”

Florian glared pointedly at Eugene and Rapunzel, then Jasmine and Aladdin.

“What?” Aladdin and Eugene both asked.

Florian sighed, then went to open the window. He yelped (again) when he discovered who was on the ledge.

The small girl, who was around thirteen to fifteen with streaks of white and teal in her short brown hair, climbed through the window—panting as she plopped down on the floor. She was dressed in pirate grab and wore red, steampunk like goggled. 

“Hiya, Mal.” 

“Ugggggggghh! What are you doing here?” Mal face palmed.

“Existing.” The girl said with a straight face before turning to Carlos and Evie with a sheepish look on her face. “Hey…. Your parents are outside… along with Frollo, Gothel, and Gaston… my bad and please help?”

“What?!” Multiple voices sounded out.

“HANNAH ARTEMIS HOOK, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” Mal stood up, green eyes blazing.

Hannah raised her hands up quickly. “The Gaston twins wanted to move out, obviously Gaston would never let them so they asked me for help…. And I may have went overboard and gave some other peeps the opportunity? Oh by the way Evie, you can find Athena at your dad’s place. Also Carlos your cousins have your cat, don't worry I made sure she was with them before I did anything—”

Then, the girl paused. “Also I think Gothel's lost it because she keeps calling me the weirdest thing—”

“Gothel? Oh hell naw.” Rapunzel pulled a frying pan out of her bag.

Ben was sure he was about to get several gray hairs from this. “I’m sure we can handle this calmly and cordially. Mrs. Fitzherbet, please put down the cookware.”

Meanwhile, Eugene just let out a low whistle. Clearly impressed. 

Phoebus looked like he already had a headache, Quasimodo looked wary, and Esmeralda looked ready to commit murder.

Now knowing that he was the only adult in the room, Ben turned towards the girl. “First, who are you? Second, can you maybe give us a better idea of what to expect?”

Mal sighed. “Hate to break it to you, Ben, but Hannah doesn't do anything she's—”

“Captain Hannah Hook of the Stormbringer at your service, your highness.” The brunette cut Mal off, not even bothering to move from her spot on the floor. Still panting and wheezing. “Pleasure to meet you.” 

Ben ignored the fact that Wendy Darling raised an eyebrow at the girl’s last name. “The pleasure’s all mine.” He couldn’t help but be amused by her. “So, Captain, do you have any ideas of what to do?”

“None whatsoever. I ran out of ink balloons, glue bombs, and marbles three hours ago and I don't have any weapons on me today except for my slingshot, which snapped two hours in. Things got… really out of hand around the four hour mark.” Well, that explained how out of breath the girl was. 

Flynn somehow looked even more impressed than before. 

So did Ben. “Do the magic users have their magic back yet?”

“Uh, no I handled that…” Hannah waved her hand, clearly lost in thought. “Two days after the barrier opened.”

“Handled?” Wendy inquired. “What ever do you mean by ‘handled?’”

“Uh, Mrs. Darling, no offense, but I don’t think that matters right now.” Ben rubbed his temples. “What matters is that Hannah made our jobs a heck of a lot easier. Thank you, for that, by the way.” 

“No problem.” Hannah choked for a moment, trying to get a hold on your breathing. “Also does Gothel call everyone flower in person or is it just me? I don't think she even calls her own kids flower—”

“The only person she’s ever called ‘flower’ was me.” Rapunzel swung her frying pan in one hand absentmindedly. “Because I was her ‘replacement flower’ of sorts.”

“Ew.” The brunette shuddered. “That’s weird. I knew from her show and her kids that she was nutso but that's waaaaaaay more nutso than I thought!”

Evie noticably paled at that but said nothing: Hoping no one would notice. 

“Agreed, kid.” Eugene grumbled.

The kid in question grumbled. “I don't get paid enough for this.”

Jay snorted. “You're the captain of your crew, don't you pay yourself?”

“Nuh uh, man.” Hannah shook her head frantically. “Aaron Bog handles the financials, not me.”

“Do you fools not see?” Leah suddenly jutted in. “This is what happens when we open the barrier. Our children and grandchildren’s lives are at stake, so we can save the spawn of treachery?”

Carlos, Mal, Jay, Evie, and Hannah all stared daggers at her. 

“Oh sure, let more isle children who didn't do shit die. Nice. Real heroic. Not.” The pirate captain rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. “Also hope you're happy: tou murdered an innocent tree nymph when you polluted the isle and orphaned her kid. And that's not even including the baby I found on the barrage from here or that little fairy girl who somehow ended up on the isle. Gee, no wonder your granddaughter went villain mode with your attitude and logic. I've seen better parents and grandparents on the isle where all crime is legal.”

Leah was fully shocked into silence. So were all the other heroes, leaving Ben to once again pick up the pieces. But not before firing some shots Leah’s way. “Queen Leah…Hannah’s right. Please be quiet while we handle the matter at hand.” 

He ignored Kristoff, who cackled and said “Gottem!”

“Hannah, how exactly did you manage to anger the Isle’s most powerful villains?”

“Uh, well Frollo's pretty easy to anger. You just gotta tape some very detailed magazines on the window of his shop and he'll run after you. I told EQ that I was the reason her magic wasn't working and told her she was gonna die in a retirement home. I dyed Cruella's furs purple. I reminded Gaston that he didn't have only boys and told him a joke about him getting the ‘no-Belle prize’. And I have absolutely zero clue  why Gothel's after me because I was supposed to make her lose it tomorrow so Peachy, Mason, and Glenn could get their shit and get out.” Hannah hummed, rolling over so that her face was on the cobblestone floor. Hoping that would help her breathing even out. 

Everyone just stared. Ben took a breath, certain that he now had several more gray hairs. “Oooooookay. Um…any idea how to calm them down peacefully?”

Hannah paused, biting her thumb. “Well, you could let them throw their tantrums and get bored. That usually takes six hours to a day, though.”

“That’s…oddly specific. Why?”

“Why what?” The teen tilted her head ever so slightly to hear him. 

“The whole ‘six hours to a day’ thing.” Ben waved his hands slightly to indicate.

“Oh that's just the average amount of time it takes them to chill out whenever something sets ‘em off.” She waved the question off. “They aren't very peaceful or reasonable people.”

“Then I say, we fight ‘em off!” Merida slammed her fist on the table, bow raised up high.

Mulan, still sitting down, pointed at her. “What she said.”

“Hold on, Mulan and Merida are here—” Hannah quickly tried to sit up, excited only to get light headed. Causing her arms to give out from under her and leading her to face plant on the ground. Hard. 

Everyone winced. 

“I’m okay! Only lost a tooth!... And uh, messed up my hearing aid. But I can still kinda hear you!”

After giving one last worried look at Hannah, Ben turned to Merida and Mulan. “Okay, look. I’d rather solve this without getting anyone hurt, but if they don’t want to reason…I suppose we could send the guards to deal with this.”

“And me!” Merida pointed at herself with an arrow, coming dangerously close to stabbing herself in the chest.

“Yes, Merida. And you.” Ben face palmed. “Damn it, Hannah, no offense or anything, but why did you even piss these guys off in the first place?”

“I told you the Gaston twins—”

“The whomst?” Beast interrupted abruptly.

“The Gaston twins, Gaston's oldest sons, asked me for a favor. They wanted to move them and their remaining siblings and cousins out but couldn't with him there for risk of their safety. So they asked me for help—” Hannah quickly zeroed in on the core four “–which absolutely none of you are allowed to tell any of my siblings, ever.”

“There’s more of them?” Beast looked horrified. Ben looked to the heavens, asking Zeus to grant him strength.

“Not. the point. Dad.” 

“So anyway, I figured I could kill like, three birds with one stone and informed my crewmates, Athena Grimhilde-Tremaine-Westergaard and Eduardo Frollo, of my plan so they could get their things and so Eduardo could get his older sister out too. Then I figured I could steal the things Cruella was withholding from her sons, their cousins, and the Badun cousins so they would neve have to go back. Played distraction for all of them after I dropped the stuff off and got seen by Gothel, who started calling me her new flower and chasing me because the streaks in my hair glowed or something in the moonlight.” Hannah shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea?”

“And you brought them here?” Fairy Godmother clasped her hands, eye twitching. “Now, was that a good idea, or a bad idea?”

“Considering that I'm fourteen and bleeding out with absolutely no other options at the moment, yes it was a good idea to bring them to the place the wonderful and supposedly kind Fairy Godmother usually is.” The teen glared definitely. “Especially since I'm cleaning up the mess you made when you decided these people were good enough to take care of children.”

Fairy Godmother opened her mouth to retort, but Ben interrupted. “Wait, did you say you’re bleeding out?!”

“Oh yeah. Forgot to mention that, Gaston kinda shot me.”

“WHAT?!”

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

March 28th

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1. Hi... Is there any wangxian fic in the potter world that you can recommend? I'm open to any fic, tags, dynamics etc.

Thanks in advance for answering my question. ☺️💕

are you asking for fics where characters make clay things or a Harry Potter fusion/crossover?

love potion no. 9 by ria_green (G, 2k, WangXian, Hogwarts, Oblivious WWX, Fluff and Humor, Amortentia, Patronus, Love Confessions, Fusion, POV Outsider, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions)

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2. hi do u hv outsider pov fics for wangxian like pls recommend all the ones u hv ty

the world is but a stage for the two of us by MandMandM (Not Rated, 10k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Established Relationship, Shameless WangXian)

what builds a home by Stratisphyre (T, 46k, WangXian, MY & WWX, Canon Divergence, Adopted WWX, POV Multiple, warning for JGS behaving exactly as expected, child endangerment, Brother Feels, Minor Character Death)

he sang about the stars by nenyanaryavilya (M, 29k, LXC & LWJ, WangXian, Brotherhood, Growing Up Together, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Canonical Character Death)

Su She Eats his Heart Out by KizuKatana (T, 16k, wangxian, modern, Guest-starring the belated but incendiary sexual awakening of LWJ, 3rd person pov, SS is hyperfixated on LWJ, LWJ does his best to pretend SS doesn't exist, WWX isn't even pretending he really doesn't notice SS exists, MM exists and is awesome, implied offscreen wangxian sex)

rerun from the outside by Eicas (T, 2k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time travel, Crack, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, JC POV)

🔒 born under unlucky stars by RoseThorne (M, 1k, JZX & MXY, JZX & QS, WN & WQ, WWX & WQ, WangXian, Canonical Character Death, Ghosts, Souls, Implied/Referenced Sex, Brotherly Love, Anger, Spells & Enchantments, MXY Deserves Better, Revenge, POV MXY)

love - all by vastlyunknown (M, 18k, WangXian, Modern AU, Tennis AU, Time jumps)

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3. Fo you have ploty fics? Fics where the romance or relationship part isn't much in the front just a background thing in the story. I'm looking for fics where plot is given more priority. No modern au please.

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 258k, wangxian, CSSR/WCZ, WIP, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives AU, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX's Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings) Wei Ying & Lan Zhan's relationship develops as the story goes on (it hasn't been a huge focus yet) but it's plot-driven with case studies.

Bitter Plants Bearing Sweet Fruit by Kryal (T, 83k, wangxian, canon-typical horror elements, Worldbuilding, Desert, Misuse of Historic Setting, Original Character Death(s), Case Fic, aftermath of canon, Established Relationship, Nothing Explicit But Shameless Innuendo)

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4. Fo you have any fics where wwx has a personality like he has in twelve moons and a fortnight by Stiltonbasket ? People love making wwx shameless in their fics , but they make him shameless by today's time standards, which is pretty annoying and actually qi divination inducing, but in the novel wwx was shameless by the then time standards.

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5. hi an itmf request for fics similar to stolen fruit is the sweetest by mondengel. thank you so much for your hard work 🫡

A Baby Dragon’s Guide To Seducing Your Huli Jing by sweetlolixo (M, 102k, wangxian, fantasy au, dragon LWJ, fox WWX, younger LWJ, older WWX, fluff, humor, happy ending) Im not sure what theyre looking for in terms of similar but heres a few w a shameless Lan Zhan

Beautiful mess, a colourful wreck by covalentbonds (Not rated, 12k, wangxian, modern, rule 63, fluff & humor, mild smut, childhood friends, first meetings, evil vending machines)

a quest (for kisses) by kyoongs (G, 4k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Fluff, Humor, WWX being shameless WWX we love it, a little angst in the middle but squint and it's fluff again, kisses!! lots of kisses!!, wangxian are MARRIED and they have a SON)

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6. fic recs on wwx getting his old body back? thank uu

Wei Wuxian keeps / gets his OG body 

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7. favourite bottom wwx fics? thanks ❤️

Closer than my hands have been by Spodumene (E, 5k, wangxian, post-canon, established relationship, rough sex, dom/sub undertones, consensual non-con, hair-pulling, face-fucking, bondage, spanking, cock slapping, jealousy, top drop)

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8. Hey there! I was wondering if you had recs for fics similar to Harmony between a qin and se by Alaceron. Ta!

Hey! I was #8 on the March 28th ITMF. The recs were wonderful! To clarify since you asked, I was looking for anything in with similar flavour, I did not think historical au, het wangxian, or non cultivation au were the core themes 🤦‍♂️

I was going by the feel of it, which is a tricky way to find fics. Must say you were spot on with Stilton's WIP. Thanks again!

does op mean like, historical setting with no cultivation or like.... het!wangxian? Wwx being successfully scheming? Anyways, here's a few I THINK op might like

When the Hills Are All Flat, and the Rivers Run Dry by stiltonbasket (G, 5k, WIP, WangXian, Historical, Royalty, Female WWX, Emperor LWJ, Identity Shenanigans, Parents LWJ and WWX, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, Love at First Sight, Happy Ending, Female LXC, Gender Changes)

The Lost Prince by hmmmmmmmm (E, 40k, WangXian, Royalty, Historical, No Powers, Bottom LWJ, Slow Burn, Prince WWX, Oral Sex)

❤️ nightingale Series by Moominmammashandbag (M, 62k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, LQY/JC, Pseudo-History, No power AU, Empires, Discussion Of Murder, aftermath of war, prisoner exchange, Grief/Mourning, LWJ POV, Angst, Emperor JZX, Imperial Advisor LWJ, widower LWJ, JYL is the Empress the world deserves, Happy Ending, POW WWX, Reunions, Fluff, Smut, Dysfunctional Family, Poetry, BAMF LWJ, emotional support goat, poetry as a weapon, Injury Recovery, Rehabilitation, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Body Image, Self-Esteem Issues, Married Life, Domestic Fluff, Childbirth)

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9. hii for itmf do you have any recs for fanfics from lan jingyi pov? could be with jingyi/jin ling but not necessarily just not with any other junior ship (smth like best friends forever by varnes)

tysm<;3 @r3n-vy

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, Mojo’s bookmark)

🔒 blue flies buzzing by RoseThorne (T, 2k, JL & LJY & OYZZ & LSZ, JC & WWX, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & LXC, Gossip, Rumors, Mentioned Wen Remnants, Sect Leader Yao Bashing, JC & WWX Reconciliation, NHS is a Little Shit, POV LJY, POV Third Person, Threats, Justice, Cultivation Discussion Conferences, LWJ is LSZ’s Parent, LJY Being LJY, Podfic Welcome)

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10. Hi, i've seen how you help people find fanfictions and all, i was wondering if you can help me find a good Wangxian personality swap Au, if your up to it? Thank you

there is a fic where Lan Zhan was named Wei Wuxian, and Wei Ying was named Lan Zhan, which is the closed I've seen to a personality swap. I will look for it, but if anyone knows it, pls post the link! Also, there is a body swap fic, where they took on hints of each others personality. in that Wei Ying was hornier, and Lan Zhan was more ADHD coded , I'll have to look for that one too. I decided to comment in case I don't find any of these but someone else knows

Call Me By Your Name by DizziDreams (E, 52k, WangXian, Modern AU, America, University, Smut, Dubious Consent, Misunderstandings, Masturbation, Semi-Public Sex, Edging, names have been swapped, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking) I think the first fic that was suggested for #10 (where lwj and wwx have each other's names) is the modern AU

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11. ur fav dad fics where wwx or lwj raises a-yuan? especially modern? thank uuu

my little love by mellowflicker (T, 54k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, kindergarten teacher!lwj, Kid Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Pining)

The stuffed bunny, the beautiful nephew, and other gifts from Lan Qiren by deliciousblizzardshark (G, 8k, LQR & WWX, wangxian, Modern, Single Parent WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Uncle Acquisition, Found Family, Fluff)

box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

Single Parent Lan Wangji / Single Parent Wei Wuxian

🧡 paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 (E, 53k, WangXian, Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Everyone Is Alive, Modern AU, Dadji, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Brief Alcohol Mention, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Accidentally co-parenting with your son's art teacher, Fatherhood)

Where’s Your Emergency? by trippednfell (M, 64k, WangXian, 911 Dispatcher WWX, Single dad LWJ, Kid fic, Modern AU, D&D Games, Angst with a happy ending)

Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, WangXian, NieLan, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, Found Family, Modern AU, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, PTSD, Blood and Injury, Dissociation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Musicals, POV Alternating, Baking, Yunmeng reconciliation (eventually), Friend Zoning, Literal Sleeping Together, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks)

for you, andante by xuanxuanwo (ostentatiouslyrealistic) (T, 35k, WangXian, Modern AU, Music, Musicians, Pianist LWJ, Guitarist WWX, Kid Fic Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Existential Crisis, Unrelated JGY & QS, Friendship, Romance, Light Angst, Happy Ending)

💖 The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 71k, wangxian, modern, accidental baby acquisition, slow burn, pining, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer)

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12. heyyy admins! what are some of your favorite wwx and junior fics?

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13. ITMF white haired wwx!!

🔒归心似箭 | Longing to Go Home by dragongirlG (M, 7k, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Aging, Aged WWX, Grief/Mourning, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Diaspora Feels (displacement), Dramatic Irony, Secret Identity, Pining, Brief Reference To Suicidal Thoughts, Hopeful Ending, [Podfic] 归心似箭 | Longing to Go Home by Koontyme)

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14. (ITMF) Thanks so much for all that you do! I've just finished rereading And Miles To Go Before I Sleep by glitterbombshell and I've got a hankering for more LWJ vs LXC or Lan comeuppance or even Lan bashing (I have checked that tag). I'm craving Lan angst (even LWJ as long as WWX ends up happy). Bonus if we see them suffer (vs LWJ just going nutso and killing everyone off screen). Thank you, thank you. 💕💕 @ck90

🔒💖 When has silence saved anyone? by Vrishchika (T, 6k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, post-canon, LXC critical, family feels, angry LWJ & LSZ, LXC gets scolded)

this blood in my mouth by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, Post-Canon, POV LXC)

~*~

15. hiii itmf idol x fan wangxian aus preferably idol!wwx but the opposite works as well @nalalie

All My Songs I Wrote to Find You by Winxhelina (T, 8k, wangxian, Social Media, Bullying, Immortal WangXian, Scheming NHS, Musicians, Explicit Language, Kissing, Making Out) a bit of a twist as they're immortals who got separated in this one

The Ties that Bind Us by Dyapaya (G, 10k, wangxian, JC & WWX, JYL/JZX, JC/NHS, Idols AU, idol WWX, fanboy LWJ, College/University, Modern, Obsessive Behavior, Misunderstandings, Twitter Fic, Stalker)

If I Can't Have You by Leffy (E, 47k, wangxian, Modern, Actors AU, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Slow Burn, Intercrural Sex, Frottage, Masturbation, Blow Jobs)

time of fate is passing; or: The Great and Lonely Fudanshi; or: How Lan Zhan Defeated Heterosexuality and Learned to Love Again by verseau (E, 9k, WangXian, Modern AU, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Don't Take Seriously, Idol WWX, Fudanshi LWJ)

The Brightest Star In His Sky by Liebing (M, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Idol LWJ, past relationship, Break Up, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, soft, Happy Ending, Background XiYao, idol MY, WWX POV, Background ChengQing, pregnant WQ, Making Up, concert setting, Song writer WWX, LSZ is an unseen matchmaker, Jealous WWX, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Love Confessions, Dominant LWJ, Soulmates)

~*~

16. I just read “a grave is all too weak a thing by Reverie (cl410)“ and now I’m hungry for multi-chapter fics with a similar premise. Does anybody know of anymore fics where others (this one has Jin Ling’s parents & Wen Qing) were resurrected along with WWX? (Like this one has them in their og bodies and even clothes so I guess their resurrections followed Untamed rules) And if no one can find any, please use this as a prompt. (The ficlet is in a prompts playlist anyway) @omgnectarina

a bird in your teeth by Eevee (ChaosBitch) (E, 61k, JYL/XY, wangxian, Let XY have nice things, Let JYL get some good dick, (sorry JZX I know you did your best), Past JYL/JZX, Past JYL/MM, All of the sex in this fic is consensual, But one of the participants IS a fierce corpse, JYL POV, Minor Character Death, I feel like this fic turned out surprisingly soft, but XY still does some onscreen murders, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mention of JGS's canon behavior, Mentions of XY's canon behavior, Also Wangxian is not the main pairing, but they're definitely here and stupider in love than ever, Angst, past XY/JGY, Hopeful Ending) This has XY bringing JYL back as a fierce corpse & WWX getting resurrected earlier than in canon. Not sure if it quite fits the request, but it involves someone other than WWX being resurrected, so I'm throwing it in

the problem with authority by isabilightwood (M, 139k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, QS & JYL, Canon Divergence, Sacrifice Summon, only the summoner sticks around, slightly dark JYL, WQ lives, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chronic Pain, Mild Sexual Content, Switch Wangxian, WWX has to be resurrected & LWJ find out before they can interact, but there’s plenty of wangxian once they do, manipulative relationship) different summon followed by eventual wwx summon.

~*~

17. Hello, I’ve never asked this blog something before but I believe this falls under the “In the Mood for a Fic” catagory?

Any fics where it shows Lan Zhan’s pov as he realizes that Wei Ying has returned (hearing him play Wangxian)? @xinilia

🔒The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide) The events of the novel from LWJ's pov

🔒 a song of joy and regret by RoseThorne (G, <1k, wangxian, longing, grief/mourning, regret, crying, devotion, resurrection, dreams, angst, LWJ pov)

🔒 Season of Resurrection by Pyrrti (G, 1k, wangxian, pre-relationship, reunions, sky children of the light fusion, multiple POV, LSZ pov, LWJ pov, WWX pov)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[fanby-fckry]

HOLD UP "BABY ALASTOR ANGST"? :eyes:

I really love fics that explore childhood angst of characters that usually keep things close to the chest, so I find myself strongly hoping this is a de-aging fic but an intrigued regardless!

I was so, sooo hoping someone would ask about this one!!

Ok, it is in fact a childhood fic, not a de-aging fic.

Content Warning: child endangerment, implied/referenced child abuse

Anyone remember when I said that UH!Alastor’s father absolutely just abandoned him on at least one of those hunting trips? Just picked up and left?

Alastor didn’t follow him, at first. He was angry, and because he already didn’t like spending time with his father, he didn’t see a reason to chase after the man. Good riddance, he’d thought – or something along those lines.

But then the realization struck him that his father was the one that had brought him here, and that he was the only one that knew how to get back home.

And in quick succession, Alastor noticed two more things: His father was already several feet away from him, and he was showing no signs of turning back.

Alastor didn’t want to spend time with his father, but he also didn’t want to spend forever wandering the bayou. He wanted to go home to his mother and eat the supper she was surely cooking for them, now. He wanted to hear her voice as she sang him to sleep at the end of the night.

So, Alastor ran as fast as his little feet would carry him – shoes sticking and squelching in the mud, slowing him down a considerable amount – running after the father that was unfortunately his ticket home.

And his father, with his longer legs and longer strides, outpaced him at a ridiculous rate.

[cavewolf]

actually i'm going to just make a post for everyone. SO you want to get into funger because it's trending. i have made a relatively spoiler free content warning list for anyone that might need it

important to note, these games are horror and 18+. they aren't designed for a younger audience. i won't tell you what you can and can't do but the game is age restricted for a reason

tl;dr / just give me the general stuff:

sexual violence, dismemberment as a core mechanic, gore, cults, religious violence, in-universe transphobia, one instance of the r and q slurs, body horror, regular sexual content, nudity, drug abuse, child endangerment, hallucinations, full-frontal nudity, fascism

fear and hunger 1 specific:

child endangerment: you can recruit a young girl as a party member. she can be hurt and killed in battle. you can also exchange her to multiple npcs; in particular, pocketcat wants to kill and eat her to prevent something from happening, but his dialogue has pedophilic implications. nas'hrah also implies that the new god valtiel is a pedophile.

sexual violence: several coin-flip attacks may result in a cutscene of your character being assaulted by the enemy.

gore: several instances. significantly a tunnel made of flesh and a required bossfight being a man who has flayed himself alive.

consensual sex: you can choose to participate in an orgy to replenish your health and mind. you can also choose to ask another party member (EXCLUDING the girl, moonless, the demon kid and nas'hrah) to perform a marriage with you, which involves having sex on a ritual circle.

cults: the bunnymask and wolfmask cults. one is engaged in a constant orgy and the other in the 'feast' (autoerotic cannibalism).

nudity: the vast majority of enemies in this game will be full-frontal. you can sometimes target breasts and penises as limbs to sever.

animal endangerment: you can recruit moonless. she's a wolf but acts more like a dog. she can be injured, killed and sacrificed.

substance abuse: your character will need to either drink alcohol or smoke tobacco/opoids during the game. it is not optional. the girl also needs to given these.

body horror: specific focus on mutations/transformations.

racism: d'arce attempts to convert the cavedwellers (allegorical-british people who became stuck in the dungeon and returned to primitivism) to allegorical christianity and is derogatory towards them when they refuse.

religious violence: you can sacrifice party members to gain affinity with the god of destruction. a man is shown crucified by priests, and it is also a significant part of enki's backstory.

bugs: there are a lot of insects in the game, and 'mastery over insects' is a learnable skill

suicide: valtiel hangs himself when you defeat him.

fear & hunger 2 specific:

fascism: the main antagonists are a direct parallel to the nazis.

in-universe transphobia: one of the playable characters, marina, is a trans woman. her father will misgender her.

r slur: if you play as o'saa, and do not skip the intro, nas'hrah will ask if you 'are r*****ed'

q slur: if you play as daan, karin will call you 'queer eyepatched foreigner'. it is probably meant in the other sense, though

stalking: samarie a character with obsessive tendencies who has formed a parasocial relationship with marina due to her mind-reading capabilities. if you play as marina and sleep in the mayor's manor, you can catch her watching you sleep.

body horror: moonscorching is a core mechanic. you can see the mutations it causes happening as a game over screen. villagers afflicted will tear their skin off.

substance abuse: mind mechanic persists from first game. heroin is added. if you play as levi, or recruit him, he will have withdrawals and require you to regularily give it to him for him to be useful in fights.

suicide: one of the contestants will kill himself before the night of day 3 to prevent moonscorching.

unreality: dream sequences. frequent hallucinations of an important character as part of the story. 'other side' of reality can be accessed. if you play as daan, pocketcat will also appear to speak to him.

ableism: internalised. olivia, a playable character, is wheelchair bound and implied to resent her condition. her moonscorched form emphasizes this ('ive been this way forever')

sexual assault: only one coin flip cutscene against a very rare enemy. additionally, if you lose to needles, a cutscene may occur where the player character will experience a 'massive orgasm' via a ghost-like figure and can continue from there, rather than getting a gameover. if you play as abella and sleep in certain locations, caligura will attempt to rape you. it triggers a battle where he is naked from the waist down (you can target his dick!)

cults: samarie is a victim of a cult called the ninth circle. there are also enemies called owl cultists and a late game boss is explicitly a cultist.

ptsd: multiple characters affected by war, significantly levi, who has developed a heroin addiction because of it.

kidnapping: marina will be kidnapped under certain circumstances. nothing happens to her though

child endangerment: levi is a child soldier. evidence of abuse in the orphanage

nudity: caligura as mentioned before. a boss will also go full-frontal on you.

i think i got everything! these are some really great horror games but i can't in good conscience recommend them without making people STRONGLY aware of its contents. available on itch.io and steam!

[thewarmestplacetohide]

Cryptic Commissions: The Wicker Man

I can be commissioned to do a mini review of any horror film of your choosing for $3/£2.36 on Ko-fi!

Remake of: The Wicker Man (1973) Year: 2006 Genre: Occult Rating: PG-13 Country: United States Language: English Runtime: 1 hour 42 minutes

Director: Neil LaBute Cinematographer: Paul Sarossy Editor: Joel Plotch Composer: Angelo Badalamenti Writer: Neil LaBute Cast: Nicolas Cage, Molly Parker, Kate Beahan, Ellen Burstyn, Leelee Sobieski

Summary: A detective searches for a missing girl on a pagan cult’s private island.

Review: A prime example of a remake that fundamentally does not understand what made its source material work, this is a dull, incoherent mess punctuated by occasional hilarity.

Overall Rating: 1/5

Story: 1/5 - Void of tension or scares, it exchanges the original’s commentary on the dangers of blindly following religion—be it Catholicism or paganism—for a weirdly sexist, plot hole-riddled mystery where Nicolas Cage punches a woman in the face while wearing a bear suit.

Performances: 2/5 - Most of the actresses give the same performance, as if the only way for a woman to be ominous is if she’s stiff, cold, and bitchy. Cage, meanwhile, comes off like an incompetent, hammy nutjob.

Cinematography: 3.5/5 - The movie generally looks quite good, with a strong framing and aerial shots, but it also feels just a little too polished and commercial.

Editing: 2/5 - Bizarre and unintentionally disorienting.

Music: 2/5 - Cliche.

Sets: 3.5/5

Costumes, Hair, & Make-Up: 2/5 - Some of it is serviceable but many of the islanders' outfits, meant to appear homemade and rustic, look like they came from a cheap party store.

Trigger Warnings:

Moderate but brief violence

Child endangerment and implied death

Misogynistic undertones

Animal cruelty and death

Insects