#we all know this is a parody right i dont have to write the thing about the character not being anyone like we know how jokes work yes

[wing-dingy]

Remember when I said I wasn't gonna post fanfics? I lied. I'm gonna post just this one as an excuse to have some Johnshi in my life but also because its rare I write a fic that isnt a self indulgent oc fic

This is just a lil fic where Kenshi comforts Johnny after a stunt on set leaves him with an injured ankle, mostly cute banter. Also sorry if the formatting looks weird, i dont normally post fics to tumblr so idk how to space my paragraphs like I do on google docs.

Click. Step. Click. Step.

The Hollywood actor carried himself on his crutches across the room, from the door to his living room couch, where he saw Kenshi waiting in anticipation.

“Honey, I'm home,” Johnny announced in a parody of those old movies, how he loved his dumb movie references.

“Doesn't sound like good news. Are those crutches?” Kenshi asked, judging by the sound and the patterns of the sound. Though he usually relied on Sento for sight, he hardly ever felt the need to in a casual setting, so it rested in the mantle above the fireplace.

“Yeup. Doc says I'll need ‘em for a few weeks, a month at most.”

Kenshi crossed his arms and leaned back on the couch. “Was that stunt still worth it?”

Johnny snorted, “Totally, the shot came out perfect! You may not know this, but I do all of my own stunts. Impresses everybody when I tell them that!” He dropped a small paper bag of his prescribed painkillers on the coffee table and sat next to Kenshi, wincing as he lifted his ankle to rest it on the same table.

“Aren't stuntmen used so the real actors don't get hurt?”

“I mean- yeah. But don't worry, they're just gonna film everything else until I come back, which should be in no time. I'm just built different.”

Kenshi could just hear the cocky smile, causing him to shake his head in disbelief, but he couldn't hold back the small bit of laughter at Johnny’s pride and confidence. “Alright, but it looks like it's my turn to take care of you again.”

“Don't sweat it, Ken doll, I can take care of myself. You've already helped me enough, and you've got yourself to look after,” He noted all too seriously. Obviously there still rested some guilt in his heart over Mileena's rabid attack that day.

“That ankle needs to rest. That movie needs you and you need the money from it.” Undeniable. Johnny was still getting back on his feet (not literally now) after a messy and expensive divorce, he needed whatever work he could get at the moment. “You just let me know when you need something.”

Johnny sighed as he looked down at his injured ankle. These next few weeks were going to be the most boring while of his life.

Kenshi seemed to know Johnny wasn't feeling so good by the sudden quietness, not even a silly request from his offer. When Johnny of all people was quiet, there was a problem. “Johnny? You alright?”

“Yeah… I've just never been good at sitting still and doing nothing, you know? Now I can't even use my own pool in my living room,” He complained, as if having a pool in the living room was a normal thing.

“Come on, Johnny, you still have a whole mansion. Unless your attention span really is that small, you're not gonna get bored,” Kenshi lovingly poked at him. “It’s not like you're alone either.”

Johnny noded with a small smile of comfort. “That's right, I've got you, my best friend, boyfriend, and assigned FBI agent,” Johnny joked. Gods, not again with the assigned FBI agent meme. “And hey, maybe we can invite Kung Lao and Raiden over to hang out. You think Liu Kang would wanna drop by?”

Kenshi gave an amused smirk. “Probably not, but Kung Lao, might.”

Johnny looked down at the table again, spotting a marker. He groaned and wheezed as he leaned over to grab it, trying not to move his ankle off the table as his finger tips barely touched the marker.

“Johnny what are you-” Before he could finish his question, he felt a marker tapping against his hand.

“You wanna be the first to sign my cast?” Johnny offered, trying to play it off cool but his excitement was slipping past in his voice.

“You mean Hollywood’s megastar wants my autograph?” Kenshi teased. He took the marker into his hand, and Johnny guided his hand down to his cast. Confidently, Kenshi began writing his name.

“Not bad writing for someone who can't really see,” Johnny complimented, meaning it obviously and trying to make it sound like that rather than a mockery.

“I still know the motions of writing, that's enough to get by.” Of course Johnny hadn't seen Kenshi's messier writing at his job and maybe it should stay that way.

The real surprise was the small heart he drew right below his own name. Kenshi wasn't so into PDA, nor into cutesy stuff like that, so it caught Johnny off guard to see the small display. It wasn't like people didn't know they were dating, Johnny was way too into showing off their love and too loud to keep that secret, but it was rather that Kenshi was a more subtle lover when it came to their relationship, preferring to keep things behind doors. Still, it was a nice surprise, and at least now it made the cast way better to look at! Of course Johnny was already pulling out his phone to snap a photo of it to post to his socials.

“You're posting your cast, aren't you?” Kenshi reasonably accused.

“Gotta let the fans know production might be on hold.”

“Is that it? Or are you bragging about us again?”

Johnny snickered, meaning Kenshi was right. “Okay, you got me, but how can I not show you off? You're the coolest! A blind swordsman? Dating Hollywood's biggest hit? We're like a power couple!”

If Kenshi still had his eyeballs, he'd be lovingly rolling them, but admittedly it was kind of cute seeing how enthusiastic Johnny was about their relationship- and kind of funny to think about considering they were previously rivals over Sento.

Kenshi leaned in to press a kiss to Johnny's cheek, and he could feel the wrinkles of a smile under his lips. “Looks like you're feeling better about that ankle.”

“As long as I have you by my side, this injury is gonna be a breeze!” Now it was Johnny's turn to lean in, this time leaning to rest his head on Kenshi with closed eyes and a content smile. Kenshi reciprocated by wrapping an arm around Johnny to hold him. “Shit, that medicine they gave me is starting to catch up.”

“You get sleepy off of a couple Tylenols,” Kenshi playfully quipped, making Johnny laugh.

“Just saying it's a good excuse to nap on you! Unless you're gonna tele-fling me to bed again.”

Kenshi shook his head. “Maybe when your ankle isn't as broken. Right here is fine, just keep your ankle up.”

“Sweet,” Johnny happily murmured as he felt himself starting to doze off. Damn, Tylenol really did knock him out.

[linkspooky]

Spoilers if you still haven't read the new jjk leaks so...

I really cant believe that your prediction of Gojo's battle ending up like Kaneki's beatdown has come full circle...my God even the one where he is lying dead chopped up with no arms and legs is exactly the same.

What are your thoughts on the conclusion of this battle or the whole progression of the story rn,because this really cemented Gege's bad writing at its finest for me.Such a lamest and most underwhelming death granted to one of the most well written character of the series with an offscreen death coupled with his whole afterlife dialogues dickriding Sukuna saying he wouldn't have stood a chance even without sukuna using 10s when the whole battle contradicts this,then Nanami telling Gojo that they always knew Gojo was a battle junkie and didn't care for others,committing a massive character assassination.Just why did Gege had to butcher his character this much?Im so livid right now with the way his death was executed and Gojo's character arc without achieving anything in his life and says he doesn't have any regrets and satisfied? I decided to drop the series because this all left a sour taste in my mouth and knows that there are more ridiculous asspulls to come in the future.But there are some theories going online saying Gojo will come back by rebirth or as a vengeful spirit by going North and correlating to the Lotus flowers in the panels.I still dont believe this will happen since Gege ruined the character for good,but I need to know your predictions on this one too to huff on my tiny amount of copium.

I CALLED IT! *EVERYONE BEGINS HIGH FIVING ME*

Besides the fact that I have proven without a doubt that I can see the future and therefore I can tell everyone with confidence Megumi will live until the end of the manga (this is a joke, or is it?), I have some more to say on the rest of your ask anon.

I'm not going to comment on whether or not I think this is good or bad writing. For me the question is not "is Gojo's death written well?" but rather "What does Gojo's death mean for the story?"

I'll address some parts of your ask and remember I'm not really agreeing or disagreeing with you, just trying to analyze why Gege made the story choices that he did.

with an offscreen death coupled with his whole afterlife dialogues dickriding Sukuna saying he wouldn't have stood a chance even without sukuna using 10s when the whole battle contradicts this

In this case I believe Gege offscreening the death is a pretty classic bait and switch. It happens exactly the same way that Kaneki's fight happens in chapter 143 of Tokyo Ghoul: Re, we as the audience see a build up to a big climactic fight between Kaneki and Juzou two of the most powerful characters in the manga only to literally skip the entire fight and show it's conclusion: Kaneki limbless on the ground.

It inspired a huge controversy back in the old days of the Tokyo Ghoul fandom too, imagine if instead of just skipping the final moment of the fight we skipped the ENTIRE fight between Gojo and Sukuna. Just Nah, I'll Win *Smash Cut to Gojo cut in half* The last chapter also ends with this, declaring Gojo's victory.

My friend Comun said basically after this Gojo was guaranteed to lose because in shonen manga the second a character is entertain that they'll win they have the rug pulled out from underneath them. It's the same reason that when you're making a plan to have a heist in a heist movie you whisper it at first instead of explaining the whole plan ahead of time. If you just explain the whole plan and everything goes according to plan you've spoiled your own story.

In other words the classic bait and switch the audience is led to believe one thing and then slapped in the face with something else. This is just my justification for why I think the ending to the fight is offscreened, the same way it is for Kaneki's fight with Juzou, it's almost parodying battle shonen. Jujutsu Kaisen is a story where characters fight, and Gojo and Sukuna is one of the most hyped up fights in the manga, but the fight is not the most important part the characters are. Fight mechanics are important to the story, but they don't trump everything else so less important to the question of how Gojo lost, or even seeing his loss onscreen is the question of why he lost.

In my opinion the reason Gojo lost is because he was fighting for the wrong reasons, he cared far more about winning a satisfying fight then he did saving Megumi the kid he was responsible for. Gojo is kind of like the audience, he cares more about the battle aspect of shonen manga then the characters, so the author denies both Gojo and the readers their climax.

This is what we call an Anti-Climax.

As a result, the subversion of the climax, the Anticlimax, is probably almost as old. The anticlimax is when you're set up for a climax, such as a spectacular, battle-to-end-all-battles between the hero and the villain. It's built up more and more until the suspense is extremely exciting, and the reader/viewer can't wait for it...then the hero kills the villain in one hit, or the villain spontaneously drops dead [...] Anticlimaxes can work well if it's clear that the subversion of audience expectations is the point, either for humorous purposes [...] or as a more serious commentary on the genre of the work.

It's alright if you're disappointed though because fights are one of the main draws of the series, I'm just explaining the trope that's at work here. As for Gojo saying he wouldn't have stood a chance against Sukuna if he was going all-out I'm not sure precisely that's what he said. He just says he's unsure he would have beaten him even without the ten-shadows, that it would have been close. It's also not completely out of left field that Gojo found Sukuna challenging.

We are told beforehand that Sukuna is holding back a move, because Gojo only has to defeat Sukuna, while Sukuna has to do a boss-rush marathon and beat Gojo and everyone who comes after him. We also receive this piece of foreshadowing, Sukuna saying "Very Good" after Mahoraga succesfully cleaves off Gojo's arm which was likely him learning the technique that he'd use to finish Gojo. He even called Mahoraga his shadow.

Someone else pointed out that Sukuna was also winning the domain battles pretty thoroughly before Sukuna started to use the TenShadows in the fight so I don't think Gojo's statement of how he could have won with his techniques was that out of left field.

If it were not for Sukuna's whim of wanting to use Mahoraga, he would have beaten Satoru and it is even implied that Sukuna allowed himself to be hit so that Mahoraga would adapt to Satoru's infinity. Even in their activation of domains Gojo had to destroy and regenerate his brain five times while Sukuna didn't have this problem, this is because Sukuna didn't lose his domain as many times as Satoru because we must not forget that Sukuna's domain doesn't need barrier like Gojo's so it was easier to destroy Satoru's domain than Sukuna's.

Yet another person also pointed out that Gojo acting completely on top of his game the whole fight and confident in his victory, and yet seemingly contradicting that at the end by saying he might have lost even if Sukuna didn't have the Ten SHadows makes sense if you consider the fact that Gojo was putting on a show for his students. He had to appear absolutely confident he was going to win in front of them to make them feel safe. Whereas, with Geto he's with a peer so he can be more honest about what he thought his chances were.

There's another shift after the opening stage of their fight in chapter 224. What always stuck out to me from that chapter was Gojo noticing that their fight was being broadcasted. After he spots Mei Mei's crows, Gojo never, not once, for the remainder of the fight expresses doubt in himself in any outward way. We see frustration, we see anger, we see surprise, but never doubt. Never worry. And what does he say as soon as he get's the upper hand in the fight?

As for the final part of your post:

Im so livid right now with the way his death was executed and Gojo's character arc without achieving anything in his life and says he doesn't have any regrets and satisfied?

I don't think Gojo said he was satisfied. In fact it's the opposite.

Gojo's unsatisfied because of two reasons, number one he wasn't able to push Sukuna into giving his all, and number two that Geto wasn't among the people who were saying goodbye to him before he went off to fight. I did an entire post, on why I don't think Gojo is satisfied with his death at all.

However, the TLDR: Version, Gojo could have chosen to fight for two things, number one to be the strongest and number two for the sake of his connections to other people. Gojo chooses the first and he fails at that. He's not only no longer the strongest but he couldn't give Sukuna the fight of his life. He's unsatisfied for that reason. He's also unsatisfied because he deliberately gave up all of his personal connections in life, and chose to only focus on being the strongest. Not only did he fail at being the strongest but he also lost Geto and practically everyone else. If he'd have chosen to fight for personal connections instead then maybe things would be different and Geto would still be alive, and he'd be more satisfied because he could have lived a life with genuine connections to other people, but that's not what he chose.

If anything I think it's there to connect him to TOji and the way they died. They both die offscreen and die standing on their feet. In Toji's final moments he thinks he only chose to fight for his personal pride but then Megumi flashes by his mind.

In Gojo's final moments he thinks about how much he regrets that he wasn't able to give Sukuna a true challenge, and then Geto flashes by his mind. He could have chosen to live for something other than pride, the same way Toji could have chosen to live as a father and that possibility flashes before their eyes before their deaths.

[poolboyservice]

(look here for more context)

well, well, well, isn't it by far the longest list I'll probably ever make in my existence as an alter, let alone our life? let's just cut to the chase: I'm ranking all of my fanfiction on Quotev. And by golly is there a lot!

Keep in mind that while I do have original stories such as Comet Boy, I am gonna be ranking solely my fanfiction.

Under this cut, we're going through a ranking of 11-1, going from least to most personal favorite, which is the total fanfiction I've written ever basically. This is excluding quizzes and unfinished fanfiction that aren't published. We'll start with the ranking, then I'll reblog with the quizzes, and unfinished works later, because the ranking alone is really long.

ALSO, TO CLARIFY: All the fanfiction I am mentioning is on Quotev. There's not really any other way for you to read them atm, but I am planning on publishing some to AO3.

I'm genuinely terrified to post this, but without anymore fluff, let's go.

RANKING ALL PUBLISHED FANFICTION

#11: child of a vampire, lover of a killer (sus mcr x reader fic owo?), MCR parody fic, link

This is my least favorite fanfiction of all time. I fucking regret writing this disgrace and I hate it with my heart. Ignoring the fact that I didn't put my heart into it, everyone LOVED this fanfiction the most, and for a while it felt like no matter what I posted or what I did, the only thing that mattered to my followers was just that stupid parody fic. I don't think I ever really hated something I made until I made this. I'm glad more people are starting to gravitate towards my more genuine works but god.

#10: Something's Not Right..., killjoys au, sigh... link

So you know how I said I fucking HATED child of a vampire? Well this one is a second. It's not really the idea I hate (au where the Killjoys names are taken literally), actually, I kinda made a revamp of this fic after with some changes!, but the execution along with frankly its revamp is bad... I am horrible at life advice, but dear future me: DONT DO THIS EVER AGAIN. The plot is basically nonexistent, and you can hardly even read what Fun Ghoul and Kobra Kid say, because for some reason I thought people fully understood what the fuck they were saying, so I didn't provide ANY translations!! It's not the worst I've written (flashbacks to my creepypasta era), but god it's definitely bad.

now, finally, with my grievances out, this is where I actually show you stuff I don't hate with my bones

#9: The Travel To Headbutt THE OLD GOAT, goatsim x mcr mashup, link

not really bad, per se, honestly, I could even say it's cute. It follows my average gameplay in goat simulator basically, featuring a totally underused (sarcasm) Bulletproof Heart reference in the end. It's only lower because I didn't even finish the first chapter. Surprisingly, this is a fanfic a lot of people like, despite its.. weirdness.

#8: Slightly Tilted (A Killjoy AU Fic), title explains itself, link

This one isn't actually that bad, and it actually has finished chapters. The dialog with Kobra Kid is ten times better, and I even explained some of the AU (at least with the characters) so there's given context! Honestly, I only put it in a lower ranking because I'm salty i never mentioned the Girl and the constantly changing perspectives. At least it was one perspective per chapter. Also, this becomes a more common problem with some fanfiction I wrote in 2022, but for some reason I wrote dialog like " This ". Whenever I get to posting all of these lovely cringefics on AO3, I will be fixing that, along with updating that on Quotev. For the meantime, we will need to deal with it.

#7: Confused Spider, killjoy au, link

Honestly, it's not bad, but it's really not good either. Unfinished, unnatural interaction. You can tell I have never talked with a neurotypical person or really anyone in years. I don't really like how Party Poison is characterized. I don't know what I could really say here, it's just really a nothing fic. Dialogue spacing problem like " this " still persists.

#6: Odd Place (Party Poison x Reader), killjoy y/n fic basically, link

Unironically? It's bad, really bad. Despite this taking me an entire year writing, and me actively avoiding every y/n cliche I saw, I accidentally made this fanfiction even more like a y/n self insert. The grammar is bad, the prologue is shit, the paragraphs are completely disorganized, the characterization is horrid, and so help me god if I see another "author's note" in ANY PART OF THIS FIC. Ironically? Genuinely a funny fanfic. It is so bad, it ends up being funny. I 100% recommend getting on call with your friends and reading this out loud because you will be howling by the end of it.

#5: pretty, pretty fangs, Twilight oneshot, link

Yeah, pretty startling surprise compared so everything you just saw, right? Even more shocking, it's actually turning 1 year old in 2 days as of writing. This was written in honor of one of my friends writing a really good AU where instead of Bella and Edward, it's Bella and Alice, where I then wrote about Jacob and Edward. I actually never read or watched Twilight when I wrote this, so I was really using memes and what said friend has said about the characters. My friend and other people really liked it, so I think I characterized Jacob and Edward pretty good in this. As said, I haven't read or watched Twilight in any way except for maybe the very last movie, so I really know nothing lol. enjoy your werewolf-vampire yaoi ig

#4: Coffee Machine (Frerard) [clickbait title], not frerard, but a MCR AU about ghosts, link

Contrary to what the title says, it has nothing to do with Frerard! I just felt like being a dick and added it to the title to catch the viewer's attention. Honestly, I kinda like this one. I was more than aware about how ridiculous the concept is that Gerard Way is literally a coffee machine, but despite that, I still treated this with respect and took it seriously. This was/is one of my more popular fanfiction amongst my followers, aside from the wretched 'child of a vampire', and I guess I see why. Little bonus fact: This was inspired of a fanfiction I heard of where apparently Gerard was a housefly, do what you will with that.

#3: A Second Chance, Take a Life, Another Mission, MCR zombie AU, link

A dark twist on a fanfiction I wrote before this that has yet to be mentioned, but will show up later. Honestly, out of all of these, this one is frankly the longest fanfic I wrote, both in length, and how long it took me to write this. Like, I think chapter 1 alone took me three months, and chapter 2 took me seven. One of my older fics, yes, but I think it aged pretty good for the most part. There are some gripes I have but they're mostly personal, rather than anything in terms of actual writing skill. I will say though, I feel with how I described things and stuff, this should've been an animation rather than a text.

#2: Burning Bolts, scientist au, link

Despite this being only 1 chapter long, and franky really silly, this is one of my personal favorites. Sure, it is very unrealistic for Gerard or even literally the laws of science and physics, but I genuinely had fun with it. I was actually inspired by one of my childhood shows, The Adventures of Figaro Pho. Honestly, one of my regrets is really not continuing on this. There isn't much I can really say.

and, finally...

#1: Zombie Disco, MCR zombie AU, link

This.. I have a lot to say about this one specifically. To start, wow is this writing and storyline actually insane. Most of this was written on mobile, and it really shows. The dialog spacing issue is EXTREMELY bad here, the extra spacing between paragraphs, the drawings I did for this one, the exaggerated grammar (i.e. "WHAT THE FUUUUCK?!"). THE BONER JOKE. This has it all, this was my Frankenstein's monster. This is my baby. I have no words, it's genuinely hilarious. Ironically, this is my favorite fanfiction, and it's one of the earliest fanfictions I wrote. I have changed a lot in progress and it really shows if you look at what I write now vs. this fanfiction. I would hate but honestly, I love it. The sole reason this even happened was because I was having a horrible panic attack in the middle of the night, and in an attempt to calm myself down, I wrote the entirety of the first chapter, and I liked it so much afterwards, I published it. This fanfiction means a lot to me, even if it's probably the worst I have ever written, writing skill wise. Currently, I'm actually rewriting this, and yes I will include the infamous joke in some fucking way because I don't think I could've written anything funnier than having Frank Iero comparing a zombie's involuntary craving of flesh to a boner. I'm sorry, I'm being like a 12 year old rn, I don't care, that's funny!! 2022 me was whack.

and... that's it! that took me a long time to do but hey, I did it. I feel really scared of posting it but it's whatever.

[sickknotdoom]

this is nothing more than personal nitpicks and me being petty. here we go regardless

if i were working on sparklecare i would focus less on juvenile jokes and more on giving characters room to be characters and do things in their own way. some anon pointed out the therapyspeak. and yeah, i do get some "they would NOT fucking say it like that" vibes from a Lot of character lines in the main comic as well. they do not have communication skills that good. why are they communicating so well suddenly. kittycorn why are you mischaracterizing your own ocs

the conflict resolutions are not very good and the ending of v4 was disappointing. why was the climax the puppets kissing. was that even necessary. why not explore uni and barry's characters without the barruni spam. they're right there

also, i would revert the artstyle back to its v1 days, maybe even bits of v2. it really did have a lot more fluidity to it than it does now and the backgrounds worked better when they used to be a lot more cohesive (again, in v1). kittycorn would really benefit from taking a step back and relearning anatomy and dynamic stylization. i will forever miss doom's funky eyebrow and their pawn shape

- 🐀

agreed mostly? i dont mind the juvenile jokes as much as i used to, the people complaining about those were more annoying than the actual jokes. i feel like if a barruni volume was necessary it shouldve explored their dynamic in an interesting way that wasnt just constant funny sex haha feat puppets. the puppet being a manifestation of unis negative thoughts was interesting but like imagine if the barry one was a manifestation of barrys. they couldve done so much in the same amount of pages. people bring up "theyre having a character arc" "theyre starting off rocky" whenever i bring up barry being a dick to uni like........ ok???????? why not have that arc explored more???????? acknowledge the rockiness in the actual comic????????

id also have the equivalents of real life conditions referred to consistently. everything has some demeaning codename like "nervous nelly" as in anxiety, "checksalot" as in ocd or "ultra mega sads" as in depression, EXCEPT what kit states kit has. i know a fellow crit blog of mine brought up the fact that "if the doctors called autism some shit like meltdown countdown or stimsalot kit would get in trouble" or something like thatz and they were vouching to have every condition referred to by its actual name rather than some parody, but in all honesty i disagree. i agree with the steps leading up to their conclusion, but not the conclusion itself. i think that having EVERY real world parallel INCLUDING the ones kits been protecting (likely for fear of insensitivity) would better reflect the circumstances of the hospital, that they dont care about their patients. mood was literally writing "dont care! not one bit!" on the notepad when barry was rambling about his science special interest and medical history, this is sorta in a similar vein. (vain? idk)

artstyle honk mimimimi everybodys said that now. i really want dooms eyeliner featured more

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins "The Blackening"

At what point does the obsession with identity politics and 'representation but only for specific groups' thing become another era of exploitation films? Are we there already? It's one thing to prioritize movies with black people in them…it's one thing to create a movie for black audiences…but where it gets into blacksploitation territory is when the only thing you are trying to achieve is to make a black movie for blacks and your barometer for a job accomplished is that the people are black. When you call your movie the blackening it already communicates that this is going to be yet another movie that thinks being black is a genre of movie and a personality trait. I'm starting to wonder if they make movies like this bad on purpose because they have some kind of tax scam going…like they write off the losses…they generate buzz from how bad it is and can blame all of this on "racism". Dump a bunch of dirty money into the film...the film bombs so the studio claims the losses. And with AI they don't even need to put that much work into writing these awful movies. Ai shits out a script put a bunch of desperate nobodies you dont have to pay much in it...it makes way too much sense.

My other issue with the film beyond this is it's a horror parody movie…they are like 25 years too late to that party. We've moved beyond parody the writers and creators of today are not capable of understanding the concepts they aim to criticize enough to create parody. We also don't have a shared cultural experience anymore enough to be able to parody anything. It was different back when we all watched the same shows/movies and they were memorable and worth seeing. What's to parody now? Everything sucks…everything is its own parody. It's so rare that the people I know have watched the same things as me anymore. Meaning the references and parody will be lost on me…or it will be horribly outdated and stale. This is an ill advised movie right from the start. Imagine scary movie but horribly racist and not anywhere near as good and you see how low the bar is. And of course its going to be stale the central premise is horror movies where the black person dies first…the tagline is we can't all die first…so it's addressing a trope that's been done to death. The old stale references and tropes are also more ammo in my argument that its ai driven...rather than drawing from current experiences of the world...which a text generator doesn't have it instead pulls from all the stuff that exists already. You get a black reimagining of scary movie with references to blade and jumanji.

Whether I'm right or not it's yet another movie that has me questioning if any human beings actually made it. Which means either I'm right or it's gotten so bad that writers don't pass the turing test anymore. The dialogue is awful, the jokes are barely jokes…it really does sound like somebody put "scary movie but for blacks, and combine it with jumanji" into some chatgpt thing and this is what it turned out. Lines don't seem to follow from the line before it. Like the guy will say "You're asking too much." and she replies "I'll touch your penis later" it lacks the flow or rythm of human speech and lacks the cadence, timing or delivery of a joke. Plot blends with sentence the same way backgrounds blur together in ai produced art. It has the basic shape, you recognize it…but its off. You see what they were going for…but the shape of it is hazy.

It has hilarious jokes like "this looks like blades house…I want to talk to Wesley" get it thats a movie with a black person as the lead…it's a reference…but black.

It's also amazing how things that would normally be seen as horribly racist against black people are allowed because of the context. When the office has blackface in it as a joke…where the entire point of the joke is that it is offensive…its not allowed and must be censored and apologized for. However in a self appointed woke movie they can have slurs and blackface in a board game called the blackening. And of course if they have license to make fun of themselves…sort of…then of course they also have license to be horribly racist to the only group it's acceptable for every other race to be racist to. Every joke that wasn't about white people or race was some other obvious low hanging fruit joke.

Now I looked up the reviews for this movie because I saw a lot of people claiming to like it and could not believe it…and I call shenanigans. I think the reason this movie isn't getting ratioed like it should is for two reasons…#1 fake bot reviews inflating the numbers…anytime you see a lot of 1 star and a lot of 5 star reviews and not much in between it reeks of bots. The one star reviews were all clearly people explaining why the movie sucked…while the 5 star reviews were all generic…many were in spanish for some reason…they had weird grammatical errors and lots of 5 star reviews that say things like "I will want to watch movie." And the other thing saving it from being rated like it deserves is a little bit of the black panther effect where people who didn't see it sing its praises because its a black movie…and people see it as a kind of anti-white activism to defend the movie. I see a lot of comments defending it but most of them are accusing everyone who didn't like it of being white and racist. They may as well have called this one racebait the movie.

Ultimately I would say its "bottoms" for black people instead of for gays. Unfunny pointless movie that exists only for identity politics reasons. It's not as bad as bottoms which I still maintain is far and away the worst movie ever made. The movies and genres it pulls from appeal to the lowest common denominator so I can see some stupid people with gutter palates still enjoying it. It's an hour and a half of black people standing around going look at us we are black. Avoid at all costs.

Not sure what number or star rating to give it…I know

Tax scam/10 money laundering scheme/100 woke/woke

happy last day of black history month everyone.

[oldbaton]

Hi Max! Your blog is one of my favorites. I’m curious about your thoughts on You Will Get Sick if you feel like writing them out? I saw it last Saturday and I loved it, but I feel like I’m still wrapping my head around it. Ok, thanks for being so delightful!

oh my god i am SO sorry for missing this thank you

i mean. i love absurdism.

i mean what a way to explore chronic illness. or even in a broader sense the concept of our inevitable decline. (i mean it is called you WILL get sick). it was equal parts funny and i like how it explored the absurdity of these situations. i also like that the illness is never specified. im still trying to make sense of it. i really am. and i dont know if i have. it is one of those things i understood at an instinctual level but don't have the words to explain. but the way it reused dialogue was amazing. it was also a beautiful parody of theatre people. i have had to do the animal exercise before. and when i tell you i was horrible at it. horrible. but i understood linda's character wanting to be dorothy. oh god did i understand that. the concept of wanting to do your youth over because NOW you have a clarity of purpose. because when we are young we lack it. and she has gained that purpose but lacks the youth to explore aspects of it she wishes she could. arrow through my heart. but when she came out as dorothy there was something still so. triumphant about it? but yeah. i have a difficult time putting into words what i think happened on that stage. who knows if i ever will. but whatever it is..... i understood it.

it also helps being a new yorker (as im... assuming you are?). the people you meet. the concept of putting an ad on a pole to get a stranger to tell your social circle youre sick. VERY new york. the concept of being carried away by pigeons? (another thing where i have no clue what that meant but i strangely understood it).

and all the performances are great. but oh my god linda lavin. what a tour de force right? funny and heartbreaking. when she delivered that monologue in class. omg. and all those phone calls were hysterical. and again, ive met this type of person before. and they are SO specific. usually you meet them at a weird theatre mixer that has like 2 young people present and everyone else is 55 and older. or maybe in a lobby of an off broadway show in one of those church basements. it was a fantastic creation.

i really loved it. what an arresting piece of writing.

sorry i didnt answer this earlier.

[pwblogarchive]

July 2006

July 1, 2006

“sex and the city (the part theyll never tell you)”

its strange here this time of year. because the weather never changes.it is always summer here. so it doesnt feel like the same desperate love of these three pages on the calendar. or at least not what i am used to.patrick and i wrote a song yesterday. not a hit single or maybe anything that would even turn your head.noone knows how it goes.sometimes the worst wishes are the ones that come true.yellow and white lines to the coast.you can learn to love anything if its around enough.some people learn to love their mistakes.shakes hands. "thank you, our time is up".what keeps you coming back?i got a long rap sheet.(the statute of limitations is running out on you pretty fast).the powders wet. the sparks arent coming.the hammer isnt hitting. its spinning.you can learn to love anything.posted by xo @ 11:22 PM

July 5, 2006

the last thing i think of before i fall asleep and the first thing i think of when i wake

regardless of what stars i end up under- for the best and for the worst- you have made me who i am. and i try to make myself more decent and better only because of you.

haveanicelife

Posted by xoat 6:06 AM

June 5, 2006

Stick around long enough and everyone becomes parody of themselves 

you dont hate me, you hate the part of you that is like me. i cant sit here and ride my flaws until the end because the truth is i live the charmed life because of you and them. we are a gang. maybe its time to disband. im not sure i am thinking clearly but i just want you to know that i waited on you guys calls all night- they never came. i just wanted to say i miss you or im sorry or you know something that would have meant something to you. i would have made it poetic and memorable or at least something you could laugh at while drifting off to sleep. always trying to relive the glory days.

i dont care how poorly these sentences were constructed or how in the light of day i will wish i had not written them- right now i can only curse the fucking light off of this stupid western city because it wont ever get dark enough for sleep but otherwise how could you guide your way back here?

my head always feels warm right before i pass out, i always worry that there is something wrong and i wont wake up or you know i will. promise me that you wont take anything i ever say too seriously.

July 7, 2006

“his and hers”

sometimes i cant wait to be forgotten.i wish i could put up an away message in real life and just go to sleep forever.posted by xo @ 3:10 AM

July 7, 2006

“im so sorry, but not really. ('straighten up and die right’)”

i said i want to be rebuilt like a frank lloyd wright only without all of the water damage. or painted over like a monet only less blurry. she said “no, youre something different”. like what? “something better”. it gave me the rush of warm blood like you see in cartoon dogs right before their eyes pop out and all of the bells go off. my head is spinning like a car off of an icy guardrail. show me what you are made of. your eyes were always rolling but youd tilt your head so they were somehow always still stuck on me (have your cake and eat it too). i feel safe but not like a bet more like the way mothers feel when the lock the car doors in bad neighborhoods. i am blue waves across the red rootlike veins in the bodies drawn flat in medical books. i wonder at the way that someone can write thousands and thousands of pages about my insides. when i met you i gave you a name- not your own- but in my head so i wouldnt ever mix you up with anyone so ordinary- i cant tell you- but to me it meant salvation. you only wanted reaction. but i cant be bothered. not anymore. ill see you in the spring. first pew on the left. wear your white veil and dont forget the words. warped tour. sun drenched days. bestfriends. new roads. so long salvation. dont worry your pretty little heads. i am sleeping safe tonight.

July 8, 2006

“the fraternal order of the handsome boy”

ive been watching you from afar

my breath on the inside window as you walk in from the car

candy caned lies in red and white against clashing patterns bending in and out of understanding.

"youre the stranger ive been dreaming of", stranger than any ive ever known.

love through a telescopic lens. when the air is clear i can see how perfect you are for me.

late at night when the city sleeps i cast a spell on you

to make you think of me the very same way i think of you.

i only love how the words feel in my head when i write them.

fireworks over the valley. how can i tell you i gut people for a living.

that everything you say is likely to end up as evidence when i rewrite history.

over and over again.

how everything you do reminds me of something else, someone else.

how im humble and arrogant at the same time,

chased and never caught.

that i just want to stay up late and wake up early to talk to you.

that i want to show you all of my jealousy and insecurity and have you not care.

youre like a light switch and i just want to turn you on and watch them all shrink away.

the words come out of my fingertips on impulse. it is instinct. my head cant keep up.

i envy the comatose. i admire the bedridden.

i am addicted to the way i feel when i think of you.

"im blowing smoke rings around the moon...."

i wish i was the exact opposite of how the world knows me.

Posted by xoat 2:36 AM

July 11, 2006

we used to talk on the phone every single day (nooneknowshowitreallygoes).

its strange the way people will window shop on your life or score it for style and grace.

my personality and everything about me is just a carefully constructed collage of magazine articles and flashy pictures.

i am (not) real.

sometimes the days spent all by myself in my head are the scariest.

its enough to make you want to pack it up and call it a day.

all i can do is read and write and wait.

ihavecodedmessagesforyou.aretheygettingthrough.

Posted by xoat 6:32 PM

July 14, 2006

a little life, alot of death (i want to be known for my hits not my mrs.)

i should probably not be typing in this mood. i wish there was a lock on the keyboard. it is too enthralling in a state like this. just like all of this has always been. the world around me has changed as if overnight. "for someone so smart you are acting pretty stupid". i cant focus on but like three thoughts in my head but i am compeltely wrapped in them. they keep me warm at night. i pray for something to crash into me and smash me back to something more simple. i pray for fistfights so i cant be knocked out and wake up in the e.r. i wish for disaster so i can be razed. im telling you if i could do any of it again, im pretty sure i wouldnt.

fuck your life under the microscope.

fuck your conclusions.

you have no idea.

it never got me anywhere but here.

over and over again.

every single time.

i wish for five months ago. and not in the way you would imagine either. "you are unfixable". my eyes are washed out but they dont feel clean. they are strong you know not the athletic type, but could definitely used to carrying heavy bags. im guessing in any real light i will delete this, apologies in advance. whatever caption is written next to the picture is the exact opposite of me. i am mapless. you are caught. lets go out and get forgotten.

bad news travels fast. and i am the worst of it.

i will always remember the day i met you.

"leave you feelings in your heart boy".

Posted by xoat 12:57 AM

July 22, 2006

“my phone cuts out in the same place every single day ("the gospel of gossip").”

it feels like there is so much to say.but it can only be said in songs.please dont go so quickly."The city with fires of night seemed an archipelagoWomen asked the love and for the dulieBut in my eyes of male horror I rememberThe busy ones of the evening were never prettyThen the day returned but sometimes without sunTo draw up the houses coast at coast at the edge of streetsWhere our lives with the other smilar lives are mislaidLives trailing their shade while passing in the streetIntercalated in the year they was widowed daysBloody and slow Fridays of burialsWhite and whole blacks come from the skies which cryWhen the woman of the devil beat her lover"guillame appolinairesend me a flashlight. i cant seem to find my faith.iwishicould.posted by xo @ 2:17 PM

July 23, 2006

“we used to talk on the phone every single day (nooneknowshowitreallygoes)”

its strange the way people will window shop on your life or score it for style and grace.my personality and everything about me is just a cerfully constructed collage of magazine articles and flashy pictures.i am (not) real.the puppy is purple after spilling a grape soda on himself. he then ate the tropic of cancer by miller. paperback, so i guess it went down easier.sometimes the days spent all by myself in my head are the scariest.its enough to make you want to pack it up and call it a day.all i can do is read and write and wait.ihavecodedmessagesforyou.aretheygettingthrough.posted by xo @ 8:32 PM

July 26, 2006

you spend every waking moment and many sleeping ones thinking of one heart, one person. you let it slip, they let it slip. who knows where it all begins or ends. but as it falls to pieces you keep grabbing them and collecting them less like for a museum of things that used to matter and more like you are going to keep putting it back together. except there are akways a few pieces missing each time. deep breaths. slow your heart beat. the road winds. there was a time before you always felt like this. try to remember pete. you are being pulled in every direction. everything is bigger under the microscope. you want it to be simple. you make it complicated. "hey, pete- i am middle ground. how come we've never met before". sometimes i wish i could re-engineer the path from my heart to the tip of my tongue and let my head have a shot at it. i dont got bigdreams, i just want to be okay. it comes down to my word versus your word versus the worlds word and i dont think i want to anymore. im worn out. my head is full, my eyes are empty. the dog loves the salt in the corners of my eyes and on my cheeks- i am nervous about cutting it from his diet. and i could and should be, and jealous of it, from the children on the street walking hand in hand with their mothers to the homeless man content with his world of a bench. and noone knows the way i spend my nights counting the individuals grains in the tiles in the bathroom, the coolness of the floor the only comfort- or if anyone does they dont want to ehar it, i cant blame you... i dont even want to hear it anymore. in the mornings the world is blurry. it comes in and out of focus. this is when im the worst. when i awake from a dream to realize that none of it was real possibly ever.one of the things stranger than realizing you are alone in this world is realizing that you are not.pupils the size of baby worlds.every bad decision is put on file for later viewing. mapquest your way back to me, take a turn for the worse and then continue for .5 miles.i want to file a restraining order against myself.and i want to be myself again looking at my reflection in your eyes from the first time i failed you. i am nostalgic for disaster. i want it back.he sleeps sound. he has no care for what buzzes and changes in the world around him.because of this i envy him.run away from a city because of one single heartbeat. it doesnt make sense.its not that i dont trust you, actually it is. and i dont trust myself when i think of you. i sell myself out.i wish you were awake right now. i just want to let myself be happy.posted by xo @ 3:53 AM

July 28, 2006

as i run away from everything i have ever known. just whisper in my ear."and the tears come streaming down your facewhen you lose something you can't replacewhen you love some one but it goes to wastecould it be worse?Lights will guide you homeAnd ignite your bonesAnd I will try to fix youHigh up above or down belowWhen you're too in love to let it goBut if you never try you'll never knowJust what you're worthLights will guide you home"so obvious. so much more brilliant than i could ever imagine to be.be bright and shine. its dark. im sorry ive come so off course.tell the pilot to clear us to land in your backyard.posted by xo @ 11:02 PM

July 30, 2006

regardless of what stars i end up under- for the best and for the worst-you have made me who i am. and i try to make myself more decent and better only because of you.happybirthday.posted by xo @ 3:05 PM

[floatingcamel23]

welcome to the multiverse: a parody of welcome to the internet by bo burnham

ye it was inspired by @rainbowgod666 quote "welcome to the multiverse". 3 2 1 go-

welcome to the multiverse! have a look around!

anything that brain of your wished was real can be found!

we have mountains of stories! some better, some worse.

if that doesnt intrigue you then you'd be the first!

welcome to the multiverse! cmon take a ride!

reincarnation happens when truck-kun gets you isekaid!

theres no need to freak out, you arent dead! just nod or shake your head and we will do the rest.

WELCOME TO THE MULTIVERSE!

what would you prefer?

would you like fight in a revolution

or go back to change time!

be happy! be horny! be bursting with rage!

im sure we could find you a universe to engage!

welcome to the multiverse! put your cares aside!

would you like to start a civilization

BE FRAMED FOR SOMEONE WHO DIED-

we have steampunk, and space themes, and fantasy worlds!

and a random universe made by someone who make fanfics of alastor dating everyone-

WELCOME TO THE MULTIVERSE! hold on to your socks!

someone just sold you some slaves who are elves without the locks!

they are pretty, and horny, he just sent you more!

DONT ACT SURPRISED WE KNOW YOU LIKE IT YOUR NASTY FUCK-

get a man beheaded, be offended, shrink your friends, start a family in the woods, BRING BACK THE WALKING DEAD-

start some rumors, kill a groomer, send a death threat to a boomer,

fight the church or remove a tumor, make a friend and then doom her,

have a healthy breakfast option! YOU SHOULD KILL THE KING-

want to know why your so ugly? help your friend build a bomb,

become global terrorist, become a self insert!

reincarnate in harry potter to simp for malfoy.

can i interest you in anything all of the time?

a bit of everything all of the time.

apathys a tragedy and murder is a crime!

everything and anything all of the time!

can i interest you in anything all of the time?

a bit of everything all of the time.

apathys a tragedy and murder is a crime!

everything and anything all of time!

you know... it wasnt always like this....

not very long ago.... just before your time...

right before the virus hit. circa 2018.

we had spiderman. and rick and morty. a fan fic or two.

we set our sights and spend our nights. waiting. for you, you. inspirational you.

daddy let you use his laptop.

you were barely 2.

and it showed you all the things we wanted you to see.

now look at you.

look at you! you! unstoppable! watchable! your time is now! your hold the pen now! honey how you grew!

and if you stick with the pen who knows what you will write!

it was always the plan to let you make worlds with your might.

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA-

CAN I INTEREST YOU IN ANYTHING ALL OF THE TIME- A BIT OF EVERYTHING ALL OF BIT OF EVERYTHING ALL OF THE TIME-

APATHYS A TRAGEDY AND MURDER IS A CRIME-

EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING ALL OF THE TIME!

CAN I INTEREST YOU IN ANYTHING ALL OF THE TIME!

A BIT OF EVERYTHING ALL OF BIT OF EVERYTHING ALL OF THE TIME!

APATHYS A TRAGEDY AND MURDER IS A CRIME!

EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING

EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING

EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING

all of the time!

this was inspired by @rainbowgod666 and bo burnhams song welcome to the internet. you can use the song if you want-

[veryflirtytransportalate]

Handsome Jackals Lives Up to the Hype

The Werewolf Journals’ star shows us his human side.

Underwear, §75, by Sunny and Fair

&

BY VAPET SMARM

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHARISH “CLICKSTER” CHATTERJEE

August 5th, 2022

The Hottest Del Sol News | THE TAGLINE

&

Handsome Jackals walks in smelling like dirt. When you ask the star where he’s been, he’ll smile so bright it’ll blind you, and tell you straight up, “I’ve been out. Now I’m not.” Then he’s gone: make up, hair, dressing room, lights, camera, smile, and no talking. Handsome is an absolute professional when it comes to his work.

Not to say Handsome doesn’t know a good time. When Clickster is finally done with him, he’s sweating, tired, but still smiling from ear to ear. “I love my job, for real,” he told me without prompting, before being led to the showers to freshen up. You’d be hard pressed to think of someone better to play a beloved character like Mister Slashermouth. With his co-star Jerry Dubberucky, the two have done a magic trick, taking the runaway hit and translating it to the screen without so much as a line getting lost in translation. For fans and critics alike, it’s been both huge relief and captivating treat.

Jacket, §1990, and pants, §1890, by Simiri. Sweater, §540, by Lion Dee. Shoes, §650, Stomplins. Glasses, §200, UVGotIt.

-

When he comes back, he’s still wearing the Simiri jacket and pants from the shoot, but he’s lost the sunglasses, showing off his big browns. Handsome’s parents were onto something when they named him. Handsome shrugs. “I try not to make a big deal of it,” he says over a dim and gusty. “But I used to get a lot of shit for it in high school.”

I ask him if he was bullied.

He breaks open another winning smile. “By my friends, my girlfriend, hell, I told my guidance counselor I was going into modeling, and all she said was, ‘That makes sense.’” Handsome loves to launch into a tangent, a story, a joke: you wouldn’t know from the dramatic weight of Slashermouth, but Handsome is a natural comedian. He leans back and sips at his dim and gusty. “I probably won’t read this when it comes out. No offense, just… I don’t wanna seem egotistical, you know? Plus I’ll probably be busy.”

Pick up a copy of THE TAGLINE to read the rest, and keep your eyes peeled for THE WEREWOLF JOURNALS, Sundays @ 6 PM.

Handsome claims he doesn't eat grapes, because the skin is poisonous to dogs.

Handsome never returned the jacket or the pants.

&

Vapet Smarm is a Tagline staff writer.

PRODUCTION CREDITS: Photographs by Charish "Clickster" Chatterjee Styling by Felix Evergood

[ackerpreach]

This ending .... I can name 500 reasons and I will name them right now, because I don’t think I’m the only one who is upset with how things turned out. (Also, A positive message for all of you at the end)

MAJOR LEAKS SPOILERS/ READ WITH CAUTION

Update: after reading more theories from fellow RM bloggers, and sleeping over it one day, this entire chapter might be an april fools... Don't fully lose hope yet beautiful people. It's me just giving a review on a possible fake April fools chapter

After following this franchise since 2013, so nearly a DECADE. this ending is a pure disserve to the entire fandom. I feel like Yams has rushed it just for the sake of being done with the entire manga. So many things are left open, characters and their developemt are reverted back all the way to chapter 1 or are left even worse than that...

Mikasa’s worthless character development/ Aaronmika’s horrible toxic codependent relationship 

Oh honey... Let’s start with how horrible Isayama has treated her. We were all rooting for her, because we all felt like she was so misunderstood. She had a horrible childhood and imprinted on a guy who treated her like trash 99 percent of the story. And then, slowly but surely, she starts to realize she has to stop obsessing over him in the uprising arc with the help of a real man who treats her like a queen, more importantly, he treats her like a real human being. This man sees her for her abilities and that she has the power to be self dependent. She learned parts of herself, that she was able to work together with him like no one else could.  She learned parts of herself she was unable to do so if she kept obsessing about Aaron. All this love, care, mutual understanding and RESPECT these two shared. 

but...NAH FUCK THAT, right Yams?? Throw all this development away, all this bonding. Let’s make the main female lead even more yandere than she already was in the first season. Let her make out with his decapacitated head (like dude, this is also pure disrespect to Aaron’s dead body btw) and let her obsess even more about the guy who has treated her no better than a piece of toilet cloth 99 percent of the time. The guy who was never really appreciative in front of her for saving his ass billions of times, who always pushed her away, who yells at her and snaps at her whenever he can instead of reasoning and talking calmly with her in mature way. (EVEN PARODY YOUTUBE CHANNELS WHO DONT SHIP ANYTHING MAKE IT A TROPE WHERE AARON TELLS MIKASA HE HATES HER GUTS WHENEVER HE CAN) 

Then after all that, suddenly Yams tries to last minute persuade us Aaron’s always been head over heels for her???  He should have build their relationship better which he hasn’t even tried to do so... He must be thinking his fans are stupid for eating this from his hands.    

Like seriously??? What is this??? 

Isayama is just fully contradicting himself. It’s like someone tipped him off with a buttload of money for him to write Aaron like this to satisfy shipping needs and to cash in those extra money’s from it. Even if he tried to cater to Erem*ika, this is not how you write a loving and caring couple which people will root for. 

This next two panels just freaking infuriates me to the core of my soul. I can’t even describe how dissapointed I am with Mikasa. 

Why is she clutching that head so obsessively like that?  Why is she walking and turning her back away from her comrades? After everything they have done for her, after all they’ve been through?! After everything Armin has done? Standing up for Mikasa, beating up Aaron for hurting her. I feel like even Jean, Connie and Sasha have cared more for her in a healthy way.  Sure, Aaron cares for her romantically too apparently (What a twist Yams :)), but has he aided her to becoming a mentally healthier individual? Has he aided in her mental stability? The answer is a big fat NO!  All I see between these two after today’s raw Chapter’s are too Yandere obsessed individuals who have no clue on how to maintain a healthy relationship. 

Love should only go as far as the heart can endure and it seems like her character is not willing to be aware of that. Even Armin was able to let go of Aaron in those latest panels. Why does her entire character resolve around this guy??? I really do not understand. Her Ackerbond and her age is not an excuse for her to throw her life away like this. 

Shonen’s disgusting portrayal of women 

I’ve seen this countless of times in the many years I’ve watched anime. SasuS*ku from Naruto, Ichih*me from Bleach, Shinji and that oranged hair girl from Neon Evangelion.. Why do these women get decreased to simpletons with one single goal? And that is to obsess over a bland male lead who either treats them like trash or doesn’t notice them up until the last last chapter (LITERALLY WHAT YAMS HAS DONE). Some go even as far as the male leading wanting the kill the female love interest and yet the female lead is still in love with them???. It’s disgusting for him to write the MAIN female character this way. 

It’s dissapointing we believed in Isayama doing Mikasa’s character right. That she’s finally being able to let go of her codependency and to live for herself maybe live in Hizuru and find more about her roots???, but every single time she shows some improvement, it’s burried deep in the ground again by the Author. It almost seems like a lowkey kink of some of the male Mangaka’s to write about a girl obsessing over them no matter what. I see this so many times to the point that I truly stand behind it that some of them might have this fantasy. 

I wished he didn’t portray her last panels like this. Everyone else is living their lives while Mikasa is still grieving about him. I’m not saying she’s not allowed to grieve and everyone takes it at their own pace, but cmon... Show her living her life too. This is too much. Her being next to his grave and grieving him as her last panels just shoves it in our faces that YET AGAIN, BEING OBSESSED WITH AARON IS ALL HER CHARACTER STANDS FOR. 

I truly despise how Isayama handles her grieving, kissing his decapacitated head, carrying it around like some handbag, and her last panels being thissss.

The world leaving Paradis alone miraciously after all that??? 

It’s so weird and out of place with so many political feuds and disagreements between the world and Paradis, the entire Rumbling happening and we can see Mikasa just chilling outside in Paradis with no one bothering them. You can see the rings of the walls in the picture below.  I don’t know the exact reason behind as the manga is still in Korean, but from what I see, the story went the route of: throwing a happy ending without enough proper reason and  it was all fixed just like that in a snap! It doesn’t fit the entire narrative of attack on titan for things to be so peacful out of nowhere. When it comes to the narrative, how things work in that world, how hard it is to achieve peace, everything made somewhat sense up until chapter 138. 139 seems so so out of place...  It’s like I’m reading a chapter from a totally different manga. 

Aaron Yoghurt got defeated so easily/ Aaron’s character assassination

The build up on the first part of the rumbling was great, those kids carrying coins. You could feel humanity’s fear and Aaron’s hatred in those pages. As if he truly had a goal and he has turned away completely from his comrades and his closest friends with no return. The world seemed truly doomed, but he  got defeated just like that. He was in the nape all this time (because screw the warhammer power of hiding yourself elsewhere in his ginormous titan body). There is no master plan as we all expected, and in the end he just acts all yandere in the paths with Armin and that’s it... They massacared his entire character as well. Many fan theories created a better ending with his character. Him being reincarnated as Historia’s baby would be so much better. For him to still keep on seeking and to strive for power. It has always been his motive. It’s his personality from the start until chapter 138. Even if things are okay, to keep on going and to seek that adventure, but then.. He’s so weak and directionless suddenly.. It’s so weird... This is not Aaron at all???

Using Aaron for him this entire post, because I don’t want others to invade our tags... :)))

Historia’s baby 

The only panel we got from Historia’s child was this. Just a normal kid, normal life... Why did Isayama put so much effort in highlighting Historia’s pregnancy if it was nothing too spectacular anyway? It seemed he had major plans for this kid and for their development too??? It’s again, big plans, big developments, big relationship dynamic, but all  got thrown out of the window... 

Don’t read the next sentence if you are a minor :’) 

It’s like almost ejaculating, but stopping right before it and repeating that every single Arc.

My energy when writing about this chapter is the same as Nostalgia Critic and his hatred for atla the live action

In Conclusion...

I know us fans should not be deciding on how this story should end, because this is Isayama’s story after all, but I truly wished for him to wrap up things much more rounded. There are so many unanswered questions... Again, I think for the sake of being done with this manga, he rushed all of it. He’s become a millionaire from this story and now his pockets are jammed full, I guess he doesn’t need to put in any effort anymore, right? Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I really wished he cared for his fans a little bit more with this last chapter by giving some answers that make sense at least. It’s his fans who gave him this platform and the opportunity to tell his story and for him to at least give in a bit of effort especially in the last chapter is the least he can do. Rivamika being canon or not, he truly rushed it without thinking much about the entire story line. He expanded it so much, he didn’t know how to bind it all together.

Even after all this, I’ll still ship them in the headcanon type of way. I do give credit to Isayama for giving us a template for such a beautiful dynamic between Levi and Mikasa. He decides to waste it, but that doesn’t mean we have to.  I want to thank all the people with amazing writing skills, the ones who give us beautiful art like @carmenlee @phit chan @vialesana​ and many more. I want to remind all of you that we can create something beautiful of our own and we don’t neccesarily need canon lore for that. The art I’ve seen, the fanfictions I’ve read have touched me deeper than Isayama ever could at times.The Mikasa in our mind is appreciate of Levi, is mature, classy and has a strong will for herself. They spend their remaining days together peacefully. Keep writing, keep drawing, stay creative. 

I love you all so so much, I’ve only been publicly active since March, but thank you Rivamika fandom for giving me so much joy as a lurker these past 7 years <3

[b1nightwing]

ive been thinking about wandavision and how the whole sitcoms thing is very... american. it has nothing to do with neither comic wanda or mcu wanda

wanda and pietro both lived in eastern europe where they were born and they ARE south-eastern european. based on the marvel fandom wiki they have both  american and serbian citizenship.

when u ask someone in southeastern europe hey what did u watch on tv in the 60s? the answer is nothing or news channels bc there was nothing or news channels. i got no idea how many channels we had but when asking the people born in the 60s how many channels did u have they answer we had a tv, u turn it on, watch the news and turn it off. my parents would tell me stories about how a family in the neighborhood would buy themselves a tv and the whole neighborhood would come to their house to watch a movie with them bc a television was really expensive. im in my early 20s btw.

but they all had radios and listened to the news, radio dramas, talk shows and similar stuff so the possibility of wanda knowing any of the sitcoms wandavision is referencing is hilariously small. she maybe heard about them but non of us care about any american tv shows that came out before the late 80s. wanda probably knows some radio dramas that at that time were popular (detective shows or some westerns). wandavision would’ve been more accurate if her show was a bad detective parody or even a replica of a book she read in the 90s (agatha christies books being a huge influence on the people here).

after more households got tvs, sometimes in the 70s, the people got local tv and local dramas. only in the 90s did we get more channels, more content and got english movies and tv shows with subtitles. the most popular ones being the hercule poirot series, x-files, westerns, more british crime dramas, etc but still not many people watched those bc everything was so very different and the people stuck with local stuff. the most prominent sitcom that i can think of that was running for a long time here is fresh prince of bel air (and the simpsons). i just had to search 90s sitcoms to see if there are any other shows that were popular here but i dont know any besides fresh prince.

so yeah. whatever wandavision is, it isn’t accurate at all. i don’t know much about scarlet witch and only after wandavision did i find out that she is actually serbian (from people posting about how inaccurate the show is) but whatever they r trying to portray in wandavision isn’t it and i, a person from the balkans whose country had a socialist regime, dont vibe with whatever “american patriot and lover” mcu wanda is. ALSO northeast europe is a whole different story from southeast europe, the only thing we have in common are the excessive cursing, love for adidas track suits, we were under socialism (<3) and the languages? sexy and harsh sounding.

also im writing this as a white southeastern european person. wanda and pietro as romani people have it harder to be more seen in our society and to be taken seriously if they do not pass as white. we have romani singers and actors but if you search for romani scholars, professors or doctors you probably wont find any if you dont search really hard.

btw consider donating to E-romnja, a romani rights association/organization in europe that is in need of more funding to support covid19 relief funds for romani communities.

[malran-butterscotch]

Ok so I saw a post making an Untamed parody of the Encanto song "we don't talk about Bruno" and I immideatley had to write the whole thing because these are the two things I'm most obsessed with right now so here it is:

We Dont Talk About Wei Ying

Meng Yao and Nie Huaisong:

We dont talk about Wei Ying no no no

We dont talk about Wei Yiiing BUT

It was our final stand

(It was our final stand)

We were battle ready and there wasnt a flaw in the plan (no flaws allowed in the plan)

Wei Ying walks in with a mischievous grin (THEY DIEE) you telling the story or am I?

(Im sorry big brother go ooonn)

We all say hey whats that flute?

(Why did he bring it?)

In battle Wei Ying says just look

(He even swings it)

Suddenly the dead would rise!

(Well that kinda helped win the sunrise)

We dont talk about Wei Ying no no no

We dont talk about Wei Ying!!!

Lan Zhan:

Hey. Wei Ying lived in fear always running into trouble. Genuis new ideas left them fumbling at the double grappling with spirits noone else could understand. Wen Ning wasnt evil nor did Wei Ying kill him Wei Ying stood for justice though his reputation killed him. Some things they tell you cause they're easy to understand. Do you understand?

Jin Ling:

7 foot frame, Wen Ning at his back

When he plays his flute it all fades to black

Yeah he sees your dreams and feasts on your screams

We dont talk about Wei Ying no no no

We dont talk about Wei Yiiing

Rando 1:

He went into the Lan Clan once and now they're DEAD (woahoah)

Rando 2:

He betrayed his own brother, never cared what he said!

Rando 3:

He sided with the Wen Clan and now look he's so dead

Your fate is sealed when his spirits cloud your head

Mien mien:

He saved me when we were in a cave

He protected when nobody did

He taught me that to do the right thing

From the clans i would have to be rid

(Oye Jiang Chengs on his way)

Lan Zhan:

He told me he would stay out of reach

No matter how i tried

Staying true to his promise

Its like i see him now

Its like i see him now

I can see him now!

Yuan:

Umm Wei Ying

Yeah about that Wei Ying

I really need to know about Wei Ying

Give me the truth and the whole truth Wei Ying!

(Jin Ling your uncle's here!)

Time for dinner!

(All sing thier parts)

He's here! Dont talk about Wei Ying no no no

Yuan:

Why did I talk about Wei Ying? (Not a word about Wei Ying)

I never shouldve brought up Wei Ying!!

[neverdoingmuch]

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

[kinkymagnus]

five times alec and magnus tried something kinky (and one time they didn't)

ohhhh i like this >:) 

not sure this is a fic prompt or what, so i’m just gonna go with a sorta half fic post. if this were an actual fic i think it’d be half filthy smut and half crack depending on the entry. and then fluffy smut at the end ofc. actually, i’m going to try and make it a different flavor each time to see what happens. challenge myself. 

1. first time with bondage. alec ties magnus up and ravishes him. fun is had all around. this is the sexytimes one but there’s a hint of like.... Romance(TM) bc bondage is all about that trust and intimacy, and like, alec is amazed magnus trusts him this much, with magic-suppressing (not cutting him off or anything, and there’s still a safety protocol to get out without alec’s help, but still) ties or whatever, that magnus is letting alec see him so vulnerable, letting alec take care of him.... uwu 

2. they try like, roleplay and dressing up for the first time, but shenanigans are had and they both get way too into character. like maybe maid magnus is like *dodging alec trying to cop a feel* “wait let me dust this annoying top shelf i have the duster out and i keep FORGETTING” “babe you could just use magic if you w--” “i have the duster right here!!!” or like they’re doing the whole rival mob bosses thing but they keep doing banter and improving ridiculous businesses the other is infringing on/wants to get involved in (”you wanna get in on the... raccoon smuggling ring?” *muffling laughter* “....yes. love those....trash bandits”) and it’s a little silly but in the most fun and ridiculous way. 

alternatively, they keep trying to be serious but bursting into giggles and/or just generally being way more lovey dovey than the scene calls for. like, alec is supposed to be his strict boss “punishing” him but he keeps kissing magnus really tenderly and calling him my love. magnus is not helping. 

3. angst angst angst. or, more accurately, hurt/comfort. something goes wrong when trying out a new kink, magnus ends up not having a fun time, maybe he has to safeword or literally just something goes wrong (like the safety thing on his cuffs fails and he panics and obviously alec immediately lets him out but still Bad) and alec probably feels bad about it/blames himself and it’s bad times. but whatever happens they end up relocating to the couch and just like. cuddling with ice cream or some other treat, maybe watching a movie that they inevitably ignore to cuddle and probably talk about it and by the end of the night they’re as strong as ever and all comfy snuggled with each other, issue resolved, both parties thoroughly comforted 

or even if you wanna go less angsty they both just sort of. realize they’re not really into this kink halfway through and it’s like . “...should we stop?” and they end up stopping but they’re both just lying there like “hm. that was weird” and it’s a little awkward and they both are kinda like. hm. was that my fault? should i have just kept going? it’s not like i HATED it, but.... so it’s kinda this weird guilt thing, like, oh... i ruined our night.... but then they talk or just generally realize how kinda silly the whole situation is and end up just like. laughing together and they kiss and are like ok we can take that one off the list i guess lmao and that’s the end of that. communication kings

4. im running out of “genres” as im saving the designated fluff one for the end, and the ones i can think of (parody, salt, tragedy, friendship, or like. what, mystery? sci fi?) don’t necessarily work. well i suppose you could do friends, like i mean, they are best friends, which is why they’re such good husbands, maybe they’re like. mutually geeking out about something and end up incorporating it into a needlessly convoluted kink thing?? or like. fuck ok i give up on the genres thing, the last two are just going to be like the others

hm, maybe they try something really weird/embarrassing, and either like. they try it as like, kinda half as a joke, but then they’re both really into it and after are like “well. that happened” “.....” “......” “.....” “.....wanna do it again?” “hell yes” 

or like, they’re doing it because they’re interested and  you know, neither of them are judgmental, so that’s fine, but then like. it’s just that like kinda self conscious awkwardness at first? but they’re so comfy with each other it doesnt take long to get the hang of it and they end up having a lot of fun. 

5. i dont know why so many of these are “and something went wrong” i guess bc in post form im not writing out the full porn so much as fun concepts? i dont know. anyway, they decide to have fun with aphrodisiacs/an artificial heat, but accidentally overdo it a bit and end up fucking for like a day straight with very few breaks. well, not straight but--[i am booed off the stage] 

anyway it was very enjoyable but not fun to explain later. 

bonus 6: first sex tape! they knocked the camera over in the first five minutes without noticing. it was impressively long but caught nothing but muffled dirty talk and desperate moans 

+1 

look. kinky sex can be so intimate and fun and sweet, and the idea that vanilla sex is somehow better/purer/more intimate/more loving is silly. 

but there is something to be said about after like, nights and nights of alec tying magnus up or spanking him or magnus riding him while a camera watches or whatever, alec just. laying him down on the bed and kissing him gently and making sweet, sweet love to him, and despite the fact he’s not edging magnus to oblivion or tying up to see how he squirms or teasing him for being a slut or anything... it’s still overwhelmingly good, and soft and warm and loving, and alec can make him cum just as powerfully on nothing but his fingers while whispering sweet nothings in his ear as he can with a toy in his ass and a cock in his cunt while gagged and trying to beg for mercy. 

its also cute when its like their wedding night 🥺 super soft just like Lovemaking(TM) like just. kisses all over, soft praise, both of them touching each other everywhere and trading kisses and wanting to feel every moment....

and then the honeymoon is just 24/7 filthy hot kink hours and its just as intimate and loving and passionate 

[tj-shmt]

A Day of Curation

Unless its Wednesday, it should be around 11am right now when i get up. First things first, put in my headphones and go get some good music! Its Monday - time to listen to my Discover Weekly playlist, which Spotify usually tailors perfectly to my tastes.

1. 🎶 SPOTIFY 🎶

Fun fact - this weeks "Discover Weekly" suggs. Usually I get the best music from there. I don't really recall the last time any of my friends really showed a song I didn't already know or was adequately good. Tho, I have to give Amelie some credit here, she constanly hits me with great Spanish tunes. (Also to Jasi and Safae which hit me up with some dope music from time to time) I mostly get inspiration from (sad to say but its true) tik tok or by randomly shazaming the world. I also really hate to limit myslfe to music i understand. On the contrary I LOVE LOVE LOVE music arround the world. Trust me i hear Tibetian Throat Singing to Russian Electro and even Islandic and Nativ American Tribal Music. To give you an impression of how important music consumption is for me:

Last Year i spent a total of 210 441 minutes on spotify alone. That is about 9 Hours a day. The average person uses Spotify for about 18 000 minutes a year. (My friend took the freedom to calculate how much money Spotify "looses" by my consumption. i pay $30 a year an Spotify gives $0,004891 per stream to the creator. An average of 3 minutes per song (70.000 streams) means spotify pays $342.37 to the creators. Thats $312.37 of deficit LOL)

Apart form that i cant really give Spotify a certain schedule when i listen to it cuz i listen to it all the time. During gaming, during coding, laundry, gym, work, class, before sleep. ✨Always✨

2. 💬 WhatsApp 💬

There is nothing better than sleeping for an eternity while everyone is already awake for probably 4 or more hours, working! *laughs in privileged design student* Since everyone is already living its live while I still drool, I gotta get up to date in the morning. Before i even leave bed, i checke my messages there. Similar to Spotify, I use WhatsApp the whole day and can't really tell when I would not use it. Except, my phone is always on silent (casual zennial phone call phobia) meaning i wont notice anything while zoning out or gaming (which usualy is the same).

3. 👨‍🏫 TEAMS 👩‍🏫

Yeah Yeah i can already hear it. "You wake up 5 minutes before class withouth breakfast or anything..." - bla bla bla. Yeah that is the case! I would usuly go on teams and enter the classroom, while preparing a breakfast (if you can call it breakfast after 12) sit down at my desk and listen to class. Causally everything that is too theoretical with music and whatsapp. Other classes that are interesting I`ll put my full attention to it.

But i hate teams in gerneral. Not cuz its sh**, no, usualy people that do their clases there have a weird way of using it. Finding material or looking up homeworks is such a struggle sometimes. (Props to you Kevin here, I have never seen anybody using teams in such a clean and struktured way than you do. Even tho you dont neccesarily use it as it was meant to be. (which might be the turning point on why its great))

4. 📺 YouTube 📺

Yup YouTube is usually the place to go after (sometimes during (I NEVER SAID THAT!)) class.

Actually, YouTube is the place to go for me. Relaxation, Entertainment, knowledge - anything! After class I'd usually watch "Cut" or other channels that produce let's plays or entertainment of some sort.

But it's also THE place to go during coding. I rather listen to Lofi or (Slowed, Reverbed) Music that doesnt really distract me. ALSO, during coding watch A SH*TLOAD OF TUTORIALS, cuz I am proud selftaught Zennial. #BestOfBothWorlds

5. 👨‍🍳 CHEFKOCH 👨‍🍳

I love to try new things and I constantly stalk the web for new recipes. Lately a lot of Asian and Vegan stuff. Chefkoch is the app to go where i also write down my own recipes to have them with me all the time. Great thing here is, i share this account with all my family members (currently 13, including my mom, aunts, other relatives). Great way to share the secret family recipes at any time!

(Cant recommend the recipe in the img, tho!)

6.🏐 ADDIDAS TRAINING🏐

Unlike all my sporty friends that used to hit the gym before covid and not got lazy, I started to use Training Apps like Addidas Training with its free Workout plans. I use it regularly and am happy i finally found a way to stay sporty.

7. ⌨️ VS CODE ⌨️

Its either Visual Studio Code, where I would code on my current project, or gaming. As mentioned above, I would get most of the inspiration from tutorials or using dev tools on different platforms.

8. 🎤 DISCORD 🎮

I´ll use Discord as a general term for Gaming since I play a lot but many different games, tho, always use discord to communicate with my freinds while gaming.

A great place to share random BS with friends and talk about anything that comes to my mind. I spent most of the evenings on Discord with my friends. Always did, in fact. Maybe the reason why I don't really feel so affected by the pandemic. I am used to being separated from my friends since they live all over Germany or the world in general. I always enjoy Online Live Events WITH my friends.

For me the web as always been a "with" not an "alone", which is why I never understand why so may struggle with feeling "alone" on live events online. JUST GRAB A FRIEND AND DISCOVER IT ✨TOGETHER✨!

9. 📼 DISNEY+ / NETFLIX 📼

Since I use both the same amount there is not thos or that. I never Really let anybody recommend me anything, cuz ... trust me, I WON'T watch it. IDK why that is, but I need a specific mood for each show. And nobody but myself can provide that. Probably why most ove the algorithms (esp Netflix) do not have an effect on me. I'm not in the mood for your ****, sorry!

Never the less, i periodically Binge a Series and then feel empty after it ended. Then i need some time to face reality again.

Funny tho, I binged Starwars Rebels on Disney+ and after it ended i just decide to buy 4 books on amazon that expand the story to starwars (#nerd i know). I will spend the next few months reading and probably not watching anything on both Streaming services.

10. 🤤 TIKTOK 🌈

... YUP.... I grew up with vine ... but TikTok got me. And honestly I don't regret it. It's the perfect algorithm that constantly finds the best videos that feed my thirsty queer ass. I mean ...

LOOK AT THE IMG ABOVE. YES, give me more....!

Its prolly not good for my digital wellbeing or my mental health but do I care at the moment..? noooooo...

Just give me more of Starwars Parodies, Sleepwalkers, Best off's of streamers, Queer content (cuz its time this heteronormativity world is fed with it! and no i do not indentify as anyting, im just the + at the very far end!) and yeah, even some sexy content if the creator feels good about it.

AND DONT YOU GIVE ME THAT SIDE EYE OF JUDGEMENT HERE - WE ALL THIRST FROM TIME TO TIME!

TOODLES!

[bean-pole-art]

Ed’s Borderlands Fics Masterpost

well finally

here is the masterpost of all of my Borderlands fics posted. most of them are Rhysothy focused to various AUs. I’m gonna update it as I post more but here it is, along with some of my commentary

right from the start big big BIG shoutout to @spoks-illogical-art​, my partner in crime, my biggest inspo, without them honestly most of these fics wouldn’t exist, please check out their amazing art <3

(latest edit - 21/02/2021)

Atlas AU - our main timeline, follows events of Moxxi’s Heist. lots of different concepts and ideas but the core really is Tim moving to Promethea to get help from Rhys. gonna sort em here with posting date, check the ao3 series for the “timeline”

Hypothetically - 2240 words summary: Rhys talks a lot, but usually thinks about it too little.

coffee, cats & monographs - 2880 words summary: “Hey hey, easy. You don’t want to repeat the accident from last week, do you?” Rhys cooed towards the cat and picked her up, just as Timothy instructed him to. Hearing these words, Felicity meowed. “Oh, don’t say that. This is my office and I have the power here,” he answered, carrying her back to his personal space.

Or Timothy's cat pays a visit to Rhys' office in the morning. note: I am a stupid mofo and at this point Tim would also have Loader Bot fkjbfd just imagine hes not mentioned cause hes wandering off, typical LB

Have Faith - 1470 words summary: During the 7 year lockdown at the Handsome Jackpot, Timothy couldn't really have any hope for himself. But maybe on Promethea it could be different. note: sudden feelings while watching JoltzDude139′s stream

Warm Cheeks, Cold Hands - 1170 words summary: Rhys comes home early and wants to say hi to his husband. With no ulterior motive. None at all. note: first fic Ive ever posted where characters are married, actually. fuck it, Rhysothy Real, his name is Rhys Lawrence

the battle (and the aftermath) of the ages - 2970 words summary: In a situation like this everything was possible, they could pull any punches they could think of. Four beasts playing against each other, every single one of them thinking of striking the winning blow.

Or Promethea Squad plays UNO. And then watches a movie. note: I love Promethea Squad with my whole heart

okurimono (贈り物) - 4/4, 17170 words summary: “Not a bomb. Just a device with a message for Rhys. Trust me on that,” this time an emoji of both winking and showing off a tongue [;P] appeared on the surface of Zer0’s helmet. Ah. So they were definitely trying to mess him up. In a way. Unfortunately, he really didn’t have any other options. Almost with a defeat, Timothy took the ECHOrecorder right from their hands and looked around it again. Or Zer0 gives Timothy a peculiar mission. note: my first ever multichapter fic. took me legit abt 8 months to finish but I am absolutely satisfied with this. also the bonus ending. yes

(there is) something I see in you - 8690 words summary: How one Rhys Strongfork met one Timothy Lawrence and how they fell for each other. More or less. note: best to go into this one blind, I swear. dumbest fic Ive ever written and please take this as a recommendation

this world is gonna pull through - 14380 words summary: Timothy really hoped it wasn’t anything important. He had that tendency to forget things easily, even if he tried to fight it. But Rhys kept on smiling and went by his side. So it couldn’t have been that bad. Still dumbfounded, he felt Rhys leaving a kiss right on his cheek.“November 11th? 

That- That seriously doesn’t ring any bells?” Rhys continued, brushing his hands against his shoulders. Or how Timothy spent one of his birthdays. note: also a love letter for Tim but a nicer one I guess kdjfnb dont ask how old is he i have no gdamn idea man

Strawberry Sweet - 3560 words summary: Rhys surprises Timothy with a gift for their date night in.

Happy Mercenary Day, Mr. Lawrence - 4670 words summary: How Timothy spent his first Mercenary Day on Promethea. note: I swear this is the best writer night Ive ever had. Ive written this whole thing in one night on Christmas day, solely on the inspo of that song I linked

Don’t Go Wasting Your Emotion - 4/4, 17080 words summary:  Afterwards, he went around with his usual duties. Getting a quick roundabout from his PA, checking several sectors himself and looking through the thousands of messages already sent to him via ECHOs. Rhys was ready to finally take on the day, yet when he made his way to the office, he saw the unusual envelope right by the edge of his desk. “For Rhys” was written on it. Straightforward enough. Or Rhys gets a letter from a secret admirer. note: another multichapter fic!! this one also took some time and well. its inspired by ABBA songs. cause only I would write a Rhysothy fic inspired by ABBA

Ratchet Effect - 7130 words summary: Knowing just how much overworked Rhys has been, Timothy wants to let them have a nice getaway in Lazy River Land. There's only one problem to overcome - ratch infestation. note: first fic of 2021!! Ive been playing a lot of bl3 suring the writing of it so it has a lot of stuff I had observed both on Promethea and on Jackpot

Reflections - 2250 words summary: Sometimes, Timothy needs a reminder.

Tales AU - second most important timeline. it’s Tales but Tim is a part of the group. sorted chronologically

A Story For Another Day - ongoing, for now -  2/25, 15280 words Tales AU main fic. it’s gonna be a big one

Connection Interrupted - 3240 words summary: With his driving shift finished, Timothy checks up on Rhys and Vaughn's plans.

Completely Hopeless - 1040 words summary: In which Fiona notices that Rhys behaves differently in front of a certain doppelganger.

infinity times infinity times infinity - 3460 words summary: Rhys and Timothy share some dreams and secrets underneath the stars. note: the beautiful combination of Sleeping At Last and Minecraft parodies. I promise it makes sense

reality can be whatever I want - 11420 words summary: “Hey, Tim?” Timothy didn’t even spare him a look, “Are we alone, or is he there with you?” Oh, this definitely won’t be pretty.

After the confession of Handsome Jack's AI in his head and his plan to infiltrate Helios, Rhys needs to set things right with Timothy. Somehow. note: thanosdancing.gif to Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way” 80′s remix and a guest appearance from Ferocity but I cant legally say her name here

still here - 2820 words summary: It all had to go down, after Helios crashed. note: I have...a love/hate relationship with this one kjdfbfg I like it but it’s honestly an alternate ending and doesnt fit within our usual bad ending, so take it with a grain of salt. i ten jebany błąd językowy w summary, kiedy ja go poprawię

together at last - 5590 words summary: It all struck him down in an instant, in this one minute. They were all safe. And they were all alive. Nothing was threatening neither him, nor Timothy, nor Fiona. He could finally breathe out.

They all found each other again. note: I am multitasking most time of my life but I dont relate any other fic to multitasking more than this one. I was honestly doing 10 things at once while writing this dfkjbndf

David AU - this one is a sub AU to Tales AU and the plot is kind of complicated dfjkbfb please check the fic for further explanation

building in curved lines - 22490 words summary: “To be fair, you look terrible. You’re barely standing in one piece and none of your coffees will hold you together for that long,” Lilith paused, seemingly weighing the correct words in her head. “You haven’t really been holding on since… We rescued The Double.” Rhys sighed heavily. Why did she have to be so right about everything. Or how Rhys and Timothy adjust to the reality after the Handsome Jack AI. note: bday gift for Spok, EASILY one of my absolute faves and the longest fic Ive written thus far

outside of AUs - some concepts I play with that are honestly outside any of our concrete timelines/concepts + fics not focused on Rhysothy

Real - 770 words summary: Reconciling with your past is a little easier, when you have someone you love right in your arms. note: first blands fic I’ve ever written. the characterization isn’t really there yet but as a first shot at the game and my kind of “introduction”, I am still satisfied of it

(Un)Familiar Faces - 9620 words summary: Timothy pursed his lips and leaned over the wall a little. He’s had enough of this solitude of closed doppelganger cabinet. Today wasn’t the day for another self-loathing session. Today, he should go off on Helios and do something for himself.

Or Timothy spends the night at a Helios bar. But not as Handsome Jack. And not as Timothy Lawrence either. note: personal favorite of mine, tough love letter to Timothy Lawrence. I have so many fond memories of writing this, including getting drunk out of my mind just like Tim and Rhys here

basics of survival - 2010 words summary: Athena taught Timothy everything he needed to know about survival. Now, it was time to put these skills into use. note: wrote this right before rona outbreak on last day in my dorms. thats all