#we can see that shes losing her powers EARLIER this time around than she did last time

[asexual-levia-tan]

i tried to make this post while on post limit so lets see if i can remember all the points i wanted to hit

i do feel kinda bad for the prince that she (and apparently even cael himself) really feel this way about him. so far this entire time he really has shown nothing but concern for cael (and thus, suspicion towards hestia), not to mention that he tends to visit cael while using an alias. if he'd ever visited cael in the previous life to try to reconcile(way too late), she'd have no clue about it.

at the same time, him @ diana like "i didnt correct your opinion on cael because i thought you'd come around on your own🥺" Just Ain't It. the two of you were practically raised as brothers and you still didnt try to mediate between him and your girlfriend?? hello??? especially considering that he saved your entire kingdom a massive headache???

all that being said

i think maybe the timeline here has been too vague. just how much time was between cael and diana's fight and diana and the prince's wedding? prince has made it sound like he doesnt have the full picture, yet at the same time he definitely knows diana's opinion on cael. if i had a clearer picture of how long the prince had waited before reaching out, i'd be able to understand cael's feelings better.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Power

Katie McCabe x Reader

Summary: You and Katie both know who really holds the power

It was always funny to see the two of you together, going back as far as your childhood.

Katie had always been the more tomboyish of the pair of you, always up to wrestle with the older kids or go careening down the hill on her bike. You were slower in comparison, taking your time and amusing yourself by playing clapping games or making daisy chains.

You shouldn't have worked as well as you did but it must have been fate.

When Katie moved to England, you came with her. There was never any debate about it. Wherever she went, you went.

Football was her passion and you were happy to go along for the ride. She'd found a home at Arsenal and you were more than happy to tag along.

You worked at the local florist, surrounded by flowers everyday. You had beehives at the back of the garden. Your backyard was picture perfect and you grew your own fruits and vegetables.

No one expected someone like you to be engaged to someone like Katie.

"Mate," Leah said as she relaxed back in her seat," Your girl's a dream. I mean, what can't she do?"

Katie tilted her head back so she could peer into the kitchen where you were sectioning out the cake you'd made earlier.

It wasn't often that you two hosted bonding nights but, when you did, everyone came along. Your Pa was a chef so you'd picked up a few things along the way.

Your meals were the stuff of legend between the Arsenal team, with the experience being passed down from older teammates to younger ones as they all sat waiting for the invitation.

"Nothing," Katie replied as you momentarily got distracted by rearranging the bouquet that lived on the windowsill.

"You hit the jackpot," Jen said," I mean, I don't know how you control yourself. If I had a girl like that to come home to everyday, I'd never leave the bed."

"Hey!" Katie said, shoving her friend," She's my fiancée! Not yours!"

Jen laughed, tipping her head back. "I'm just saying! Come on, Katie, you can't say that you've never considered just skipping practice."

Katie winked. "I never said that. I just said to stop fantasising about my girl!"

"So you would stay in bed with her all the time?" Leah teased.

Katie smirked. "You know I would but you know," She shrugged," One of us has to be the breadwinner." She flexed jokingly. "I make enough that she could be my pretty housewife if she really wanted to."

"Real macho, McCabe," Leah said," You're forgetting we once saw you drop a weight on your foot. You're not that smooth."

"I think y/n would disagree with you there." Katie winked. "I'm super smooth. It's why she fell in love with me."

"She fell in love with you because you seduced her, I reckon. All this power is going to your head. Occasional Arsenal captain, Ireland captain and now you're saying you're the man of the house."

"I'm absolutely saying that." Katie flexed again. "I mean, check out these muscles."

"Alright," Jen laughed," Put those guns away before you take someone's eye out."

Admittedly, Katie knew she was talking like she was some kind of hormonal uni boy but she couldn't help herself. She was completely relaxed here, in her own home with her teammates scattered around and you serving everyone cake. She was definitely bigging herself up here but she didn't want to lose face in front of her friends, especially as you breezed back into the room with pre-sliced cake and a pile of plates.

"I hope you're all able to eat this," You said," I know you're meant to be on diets but, surely, you can cheat for the day."

Katie grinned, drunk on the feeling of puffed up pride at everyone's compliments about you. She stood and rested her hand a little too low on your ass to be decent in public.

"Course we can, babe," She said, emboldened by the way you didn't say anything as she squeezed lightly," Everyone loves your baking."

You sent her an unreadable look but allowed her touching, helping everyone get a slice before settling on her lap in the loveseat.

Katie smirked at Jen and Leah, who were sending her similar cocky looks, and she finally moved her hand from your ass to rest splayed out on your hip, dragging you ever closer.

You fed Katie bites of your own slice automatically as she sat manspread on the loveseat, still talking amongst her teammates.

When there was a lull in the conversation, you brought your lips to her ear.

"Vey macho, Katie," You said, watching her throat bob in horror when she realised that you had heard everything," A real man of the house."

"Babe," She murmured back, eyes darting back and forth between everyone to make sure none of them were looking," I-"

"I'm not going to say anything," You said, shutting her up by pressing another forkful of cake into her mouth," I wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of all of the new signings."

"Babe," She said again, shifting a bit uncomfortably as you put more food into her mouth.

"Shh," You said softly," Don't talk just yet." You leaned a bit closer, putting the plate down on your lap so you had a hand free to push Katie's hand to grip your hip harder. "You have your fun showing off for your friends. You do whatever you want but let me make this clear. If you have to be reminded who's really in charge here then I will make sure to remind you. Understand?"

"I understand."

"Good." You smiled and drew away, picking up the plate and nudging Katie's lips with a cake filled fork again. "Open up, baby. I spent a lot of time on this. Make sure to eat your fill."

[perseidlion]

The Interview With the Vampire TV show is a perfect example of how adaptations do not have to follow the source material closely to be an excellent adaptation.

(This is a spoiler-free commentary, but it does discuss the dynamics of the characters in general.)

I read the books back in the day, and of course, saw the original movie. Despite a laundry list of big changes, the series still feels extremely true to the books because it captures the spirit. It gets the characters and their fucked-up dynamics right. It doesn't shy away from them being melodramatic monsters. It keeps to the rules established in the source material. The show also makes sure to preserve key moments and key scenes, but always with a twist.

Since they did that, they were free to shift things in time, amp up and adapt certain dynamics, and change the race of characters in a way that deepens the story and complicates already extremely complicated power dynamics.

The original movie stuck more closely to the era and the appearance of the characters as described by Anne Rice, but I don't think the story loses anything by changing those two elements. In fact, it gives it modern relevance and room for political and social commentary.

I have never ascribed to the idea that an adaptation has to be slavishly accurate to the source material to be a good adaptation. It just has to be smart enough to identify what to keep and what can change. An adaptation adapts. Honestly, I find it boring when I see exactly what was in a book up on screen with no surprises. Where's the fun in that?

The difference between a good adaptation and a bad one is not how accurate it is to the source material, but how well the adaptation respects what made the story compelling to begin with.

What's important here?

Lestat is dramatic and powerful and a monster who is deeply charismatic, but also manipulative.

Louis is overdramatic and self-hating, but oddly drawn to Lestat.

Claudia is fierce, but bitter about her eternal childhood.

Their relationship is deeply toxic but with true affection. They are monsters, but monsters capable of intense love and devotion - to the point where it has the power to destroy them.

THAT is at the core of this story. THAT is what they keep intact. This frees up all sorts of avenues for play around a few key plot beats.

This room for play also gives opportunities to expand on thinner characters or rewrite them entirely. It's been a long time since I read the books, but I don't recall Daniel standing out as more than a framing device, especially in earlier books. But in the show, he's one of the best parts. Not only does he take a much more active role in the story, he delivers some of the most hilarious and cutting lines of the entire series. If the show had stuck closely to the source material, we wouldn't have this Daniel.

It was also smart of them to make Claudia a few years older. The eternal child element is preserved, but the layer of arrested teenaged hormones and womanhood that will never blossom adds an extra layer of angst and sadness. She is stuck forever in a state of rebellion, never allowed to settle and come into her own.

Having her be a young Black woman also deepens her attachment to Louis, visually, socially and symbolically. They are different from Lestat and they understand each other in a way he never can. She's still very much the Claudia from the book but with layers added to deepen her character and add new, fresh dynamics and complications.

It's also delightful to see the show take the homoeroticism that was subtextual in the early books with Louis and Lestat (and in the original film) and making it unapologetically text. Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles have always been incredibly queer and subversive, but it's amazing to see that side of it fully embraced and stated plainly with no ambiguity or qualifiers or hints. It's queer and that queerness is woven into the fabric of the entire narrative. Louis and Lestat are the toxic beating heart of the Vampire Chronicles.

It's also important because we need messy, dark, fucked-up queer narratives. Sweet, coming-of-age stories and romances are of course, important - especially for younger queer people. But us older queer folk not only want to see ourselves in multiple genres, we want permission to see imperfect, messy, and yes, even evil characters. It's a way of reclaiming the monstrous queer that was villainized for so long and making it our own. We want to find something beautiful in the dark.

If we all thought about it, we could probably think of dozens of examples where a show or movie went far off-script from the source material and was still an excellent adaptation.

Interview With the Vampire is just the most recent and one of the best examples of a stellar adaptation that respects the source material but also builds and expands on it.

I look forward to seeing how they surprise me next season.

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Cowboy Like Me - Part 6

Azriel x Reader

Reader and Elain are forced to spend a little one on one time together. Mor whisks reader out for a night on the town. Azriel loses his shit during an incident at Rita’s and comforts reader afterward. A new boundary is crossed between Azriel and reader.

A/n: We’re coming into the home stretch with this story! It will only have a couple more chapters.

Part 5

Warnings: Alcohol, Language, mild violence, seizure, poisoning, mention (kind of) of drugging via alcohol

Elain’s garden was lovely. A labor of love that only countless hours of tending and getting hands dirty could cultivate. Her tension eased slightly as she shared details of the various flora blooming throughout.

Truthfully, I had no interest in gardening and most of the plant names went in one of my ears and out the other but her passion was captivating. There was something about listening to someone speak of their interests that I couldn’t get enough of.

As if she were a demure flower that came into bloom when she entered her space, she went from uncomfortable with me to genuine. I could see why Azriel had interest in her.

As we finished her tour of the garden, nobody had come to collect us and the awkwardness once returned.

Finally Elain looked to her feet and then back to me. “You and Azriel are a lovely pair.”

I started. “Oh no, we’re not together. It’s just an assignment.”

Elain thought for a moment beginning to say something but holding herself back.

And because I was nothing if not incurably nosey I blurted out. “It’s okay. You can say whatever it is you’re holding back. It won’t hurt me, Elain.”

“It’s not like that.” She spoke softly. “Just be careful. Not with him, he is a good, honorable male. But I am a seer. It was one of the powers thrust upon me by the cauldron and I’ve seen something that I don’t understand. A mangled skeleton in a tunnel with you…. And threads of gold flowing from the opposite direction.”

I paled. What an ominous thing to say. “My visions are strange and I don’t understand how to decipher them just yet. I don’t want to alarm you. Please,” she took my hand earnestly, “just be careful.”

I squeezed her hand in return. Who was I to make the female before me feel uncomfortable for sharing something she clearly still struggled to speak about. She had no reason to be kind to me. I was a stranger, a spy, in close proximity to someone she had or perhaps still did have feelings for. And yet, I could feel she was being genuine. So I met her eyes sincerely, “Thank you, Elain. I’m happy to have met you.”

We chatted for a few more minutes, nothing of substance, just contented small talk.

Eventually Rhysand came to the garden, Azriel behind him looking uncomfortable. “Thank you for your patience, ladies. Amren can get rather cranky when she hasn’t had her nap. Please excuse her…. brazen ways. It makes her a great second, but an occasional pain in the ass at dinner.”

He gestured to the female beside me, “Thank you for showing our guest your garden, Elain.” before turning to me. “Y/N, please join Azriel, Cassian, and I in my office.”

Rhysand turned back toward the house, Azriel lingering behind to wait for me. I felt his gaze as we wandered through a corridor of the massive estate. I felt awkward after the earlier encounter, not quite sure what to say. It was Azriel who broke the silence as he slowed his pace. “Y/N…”

I looked up to the male towering over me. His wings were tucked in tightly behind him as his shadows whirled around our feet. “You look so much more than nice. You’re resplendent.”

My face heated in a blush and a flicker sparked in those hazel eyes. Oh, he knew that effected me and was proud of recovering from his earlier stumble.

“Thank you, Azriel.” I reached toward his tunic. “You clean up quite well yourself.”

It was his turn to blush now. I jerked my head toward the High Lord now several yards ahead of us. “We best catch up with him.”

“Yes, of course.” He extended his arm as I looped mine through it.

Rhysand’s office was less of an office and more of a library. In fact, I am pretty sure that I’ve seen smaller libraries in my travels to the Day Court. “What an impressive collection” I marveled at the grand room surrounding us that was both warm and elegant. A lovely painting of the High Lady hung behind his desk. I wondered if she painted it.

“She did.” Rhys spoke into my head. “Lovely, isn’t she?”

“The loveliest” I mused wistfully. She truly was. “Hey, now get out of my head.”

He held his hands up in a show of innocence before mentally replying “No mind reading here. It was easy enough to read on your face, little spy. Nice to know all I need to break a spy is my beautiful mate.”

I only giggled in return. I liked him. I had heard rumors that he was a much more benevolent ruler than he let the world see but hearing it versus experiencing were two totally different things.

Azriel’s low voice interrupted and brought me back to reality “I’d love to be included in whatever you two are going on about.”

Whoops. Busted.

“Yeah, guys.” Cassian’s booming voice came from the doorway. “Secrets don’t make friends.”

“They do keep my pockets lined though.” I replied without thinking. Probably not in my best interest to make such jokes after Amren’s display at dinner.

To both my surprise and lack of it, Cassian laughed. “Touché, little spy.”

Rhys placed his palms on the desk, eyes fixating on a letter before lifting his head back to us. “We have new information on the infiltrated shipments. A trace amount of the same poison that had laced the spices imported to the Summer Court were detected in one of Beron’s vaults. Not enough to damn him but enough to suggest we are looking in the right direction.”

“Who relayed this intel?” Azriel asked.

“Who do you think?” Cassian goaded, earning an eye roll from his brother.

I cut in “It was Eris, right? Are you sure he can be trusted?”

“I trust him far more than Beron and he hasn’t led us astray yet.” Rhys replied. “I see no reason not to believe him at this point in time.”

“Now,” Rhys continued. “Here’s where things get interesting. Beron will be attending the ball next week. Eris will be there as well and I’ve contacted Lucien. He was hesitant to show given his history with his father but with Elain in attendance he plans to join.”

Azriel gave no response, physical or verbal, to the mention of Elain. He only continued listening intently. “Lucien was concerned about Elain given Beron being there but she has made it abundantly clear to Feyre and I that it is her choice to go.”

“Is it necessary for her to attend?” Cassian asked.

“Once again, it is her choice. She had a vision leading me to believe Beron has something planned and that was before Eris confirmed that Beron is attending the ball and of the traces of poison he had discovered.”

“Shit.” Cassian muttered.

“Azriel, I need you and Y/N to stay here in the event that anything urgent comes up. Y/N, would you be comfortable staying in Velaris for the time being? You can stay at the House of Wind with Nesta, Cassian, and Azriel and train with Nesta in the mornings.”

As if I would be sad to stay in a gorgeous city and not in a giant palace in the middle of nowhere with only one grumpy Shadowsinger for company. Okay, the last part wasn’t so bad. He wasn’t that grumpy… and he was rather pleasant to look at it.

Rhys waited patiently for an answer. “I am at your disposal, High Lord.”

———————

Upon reentering the main living area, I was greeted by an eager Mor. “What would an evening together be without a little Amren drama?” She clung to my arm guiding me toward a liquor cart, pouring us each a glass of Cognac served neat. “Cheers to surviving your first family dinner!”

Azriel only huffed. “We should get to the House of Wind. It’s late and we have to train in the morning.”

“Oh no you don’t.” Mor gripped my arm tightly.

“Don’t even think about it, Mor.” Azriel warned.

“My gift is truth. And the truth is that Y/N has not experienced Velaris until she’s had a night out at Rita’s.”

Azriel kept his stance. “Well she’ll be here for at least a week longer. We’re going to stay at the House of Wind until the ball.”

Mor squealed. “Oh, we are going to have so much fun!”

“She’s still here for work, Mor.” He reprimanded

Her brows knit together “And? What does that have to do with anything? There’s plenty of time for work. Now, let’s play.”

I wasn’t about to get into this battle of wills between Mor and Az but the idea of a night out was appealing. I’ve never had a night out for just fun. It was always for work, always. I wanted to feel music and lose my myself for a bit, but… Azriel did have a point. It was getting late and we did have to train tomorrow.

The blonde waived a hand dismissively. “Azriel. You work too hard. You’ve been wound tight for months now. You need this just as much.”

He scoffed. “My idea of an enjoyable night out isn’t babysitting my belligerent best friend and one of my spies.”

“Excuse me?” I chimed in. “One: you don’t have to babysit me. Two: I’m a spy for hire, not one of your spies.”

And with that, I could have sworn hurt flickered across his stoic features before regaining his composure. “Do what you want then. I’m not going out.”

“Fine.” I stated. “I’m going with Mor.”

“For fucks sake.” He muttered under his breath.

Mor again squealed. “Come on! Let’s change.”

———————-

I wasn’t sure why Mor insisted on changing when the dress I had been wearing was perfectly suitable for a night out, but who was I to fight the determined female? I saw how far it got Azriel who had known her for 500 years. There was no way that I would win that battle with her.

So, I found myself at Rita’s a lively bar with even livelier music in a much too short, skin tight dress, high heels, and an obscene amount of cleavage.

Cassian and Nesta came along as Nesta loved the music though she did not drink.

And Az thought he would have to babysit when Nesta was right there?

I would obey any command the silver eyed female gave me. Any command. Cassian was a very lucky male.

Rita’s was far more lively than I anticipated, nothing like the taverns I had frequented where a sole piano collected dust until a passing bard came through to warm the keys for tips. No, this bar had a stage dedicated for instrumentals and singers with sultry voices. The drinks were far from the stale and shitty varieties of ale I was used to. While there were plenty of bottom shelf options, Mor ordered everything from the top, and I gladly indulged.

We did several rounds of shots before Mor pulled me onto the dance floor. Nesta following with Cassian in tow. Round of drinks were served to us in between sets and I completely lost myself to the music. I took turns writhing against Mor and Nesta, which Cassian did not mind ogling in the slightest. Nesta only gave him a sultry smirk before losing herself to the music again.

A few males tried getting close to us but Cassian’s big scary “Lord of Bloodshed” face drove them off. Fortunately for them.

I had a feeling that if they slipped past his harrowing gaze, Nesta would happily eat them alive. Just to reiterate, Cassian is a very lucky male.

The liquor continued flowing and my head felt light in the best of ways. A lightness I’d experienced so few times over the years. I knew I was a sight, we all were. Nesta’s curves were stunning in anything, and Mor and I… well we had enough on display for anyone to appreciate.

Eventually Rhys and Feyre came into the bar, seemingly having left Nyx with Elain for the rest of the night. They were a sight together, the moon and stars, so effortlessly captivating.

Feyre joined us out on the dance floor as tendrils of darkness swirled around the booth Rhysand sat at, his white teeth shining through as an amused grin crossed his face.

Maybe if I’d looked closer I would have noticed that those weren’t tendrils of darkness at all but shadow that surrounded the booth.

Mor was drawn into dance with a beautiful female as Cassian took reprieve to visit Rhys in his booth and Nesta and Feyre took to chatting with eachother in a corner. The perfect moment to sneak away and indulge in one more drink.

I approached the bar, fighting through a crowd of bystanders to place another order. After three attempts to catch the bartenders attention, a pretty male appeared next to me with that classic High Fae beauty and he was so, so tall. “What do you want?” He asked. “I’ve got you.” And in a normal circumstances would have insisted I am a strong, independent female perfectly calable to order my own drink but honestly…. My inhibitions were low enough that I was happy to accept the feat of a beautiful male buying me a drink.

I yelled my drink order to him over the crowd to which he raised an eyebrow then threw a long arm up in the air with two fingers and a gold mark. Ah, money, great attention getter. It was only a moment before the bartender made his way over to take his order. The bartender opened a new bottle of the liquor from the shelf. Not a high end liquor but not totally bottom of the barrel either. Something that said I’m a classy lady but also considerate of the fact that someone else is paying for my drink.

The bartender slid the drinks over to which the male handed me mine, gave a cheers, and invited me for a dance.

One dance wouldn’t hurt.

He stayed close to me but remained respectful. His hands not drifting anywhere above or below mid-waist and keeping a few centimeters of space between our bodies.

As I became more comfortable with the stranger and the music became a bit more seductive, I leaned back into his warm chest. It was nice, comfortable, but my eyes began to grow heavy and my limbs a bit more lucid. My motions became slower and I felt myself slumping a bit. The male noticed too because he peered around me. “Hey. Hey, are you-“ and suddenly shadows surrounded us and a low, gravely voice spoke. “Step away from my lady.”

I heard the male gasp beginning to speak, letting go of me as Azriel’s large, strong hands caught me, not letting go until I steadied. “Wait, I wasn’t-“ he didn’t finish the sentence before Azriel’s fist met the males face, hard.

“Fuck!” The male shouted as Azriel shoved him further away from me and it was then that I fell to the floor, darkness overtaking me.

——————

When I came to it, I was in an unfamiliar bed. A warm fire glowed in a large stone fireplace before me and a few stars still interés in the sky outside. Pain radiated through me shooting from my stomach and throughout the rest of my body. I tried to sit up but immediately needed to throw up.

Suddenly a scarred hand passed a bucket to me. “Here, here take this.” I gripped my hands onto it and heaved. A warm hand helped keep me sitting upright, thumb running soft strokes over my back as another held my hair back.

“Holy shit.” I gasped before heaving again. “I’m never drinking again.”

“Not a bad idea.” Azriel spoke, no hint of amusement in his voice. “But drinking wasn’t the sole factor.”

Pain radiated through my skull. “What do you mean?”

Then a flashback ran through my mind of shadow and Azriel’s fist meeting a males face.

Fuck, how could I have been so stupid! “That male. He…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. “Did he-?”

Azriel looked down to his feet before taking the bucket back and handing me a cup of ginger tea.

“Look, I…” shame darkened his features. “My shadows sensed something was wrong. I saw you slumping in his arms and I acted before realizing.”

My brows furrowed, lips drawing into a straight line. “I still don’t understand. What do you mean, Azriel?”

“No, he didn’t do anything wrong. For what it’s worth, he seems like a decent male. But after you fell, I ran to you. I shouldn’t have stepped away from you in the first place. You began seizing, Y/N. It fucking terrified me. Cassian apprehended him before the same thing happened to the male. He lost his steadiness, fell to the ground, and began seizing as well.

I immediately took you to Madja who examined you, induced vomiting and provided tonics to counteract the symptoms. “What happened to me?”

Rage. Icy rage crossed his features. “You were poisoned. Mor came and stayed by your side while Madja worked on you. Rhys, Cassian, and I were able to question several people at Rita’s. It turns out that soon after you fell ill, a few others came down with the same symptoms. It was the liquor that had been poisoned. We spoke with the owner of Rita’s who checked their logs and the bottle of liquor you were last served from had been imported around the time that the rogue shipment landed in the summer court.”

“Fuuuck.” I whispered. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I overreacted. I thought he hurt you. And when i considered his intentions….”

His hands flexed and a light hint of silver lined his eyes. “Fuck, I just lost it.”

“Is he okay?” I asked. “Yes, once the tonic took effect for him. I was able to apologize and he was forgiving. Very decent of him given that if the roles were reversed… I didn’t deserve the forgiveness.”

“What about the other patrons who were poisoned?” I asked. “Is everyone okay?”

Azriel’s shadows whirred angrily. “Fortunately. Madja and her staff were quick and everyone will recover.”

His hazel eyes met mine sympathetically, “but it may take a full day for the effects to fully clear from your system. It won’t be a pleasant process.”

Given the pain and nausea within me, I was dreading the next several hours. Looking down, I saw that I’d been changed into an oversized t-shirt and men’s boxer briefs. I looked to Azriel with a raised eyebrow. “Your doing?”

The male blushed, blushed for the second time in less than twelve hours, and I couldn’t repress the small grin that came to my lips. “Nesta helped you into these. Your dress was covered in vomit. And Nesta may dress somewhat modestly in public but she has preferences in her nightly attire so it was either my clothes or a night gown that left very little to the imagination.

Mor is going to bring you some of the clothes you bought yesterday and some of hers after she gets a few hours of sleep. I’ll retrieve clothes from the Moonstone Palace once you’re better.”

Had he forgotten that I was only wearing clothes from the guest armoire there? “I know they aren’t yours but they suited you. Night Court attire suits you.”

I remembered the cobalt blue outfits I wore around the palace. Cobalt blue like…. Oh my gods, his siphons.

It was my turn to blush.

“You should get some more rest, Y/N.”

“Fine.” I sighed. A fevered chill running through me that even the warm bed and fire couldn’t suppress.

He started as he saw the shivers overtake me, goosebumps appearing on my arms.

“Azriel?”

“Yes?” He asked cautiously.

“Will you lay with me? I’m cold.”

And that was the first night I slept in the arms of the Shadowsinger.

———————

Azriel

He sat beside her bed for hours, heart lurching at any stir in her sleep. Had he just gone out with them in the first place, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe it would have been him holding her against his chest on the dance floor, maybe she wouldn’t have wandered off for that last drink.

When she seized on the floor, he felt his soul leave his body. He’d never known such panic in his life, not when his brothers held fire to his hands, not when he saw Mor in that field, not even when Elain had been captured by Hybern. He was always able to master himself in times of distress. But he knew that this time was different and if it weren’t for the adrenaline rush that overtook his senses in rushing her to Madja, he would have been hyperventilating on the floor next to her, he was certain of it.

So when she finally awoke and asked meekly if he’d sleep with her, there was no other option. She felt so right in his arms. As her breathing evened out, sleep once again overtaking her, he quietly whispered into the night, to himself, to her sleeping form, to the gods, anyone who would listen. “Never again.”

His shadows hummed in agreement.

Never again would he leave her when he knew she wanted his company. No, she didn’t say it out loud, but he felt it somewhere deep within his chest. Never again would he let someone bring harm to her, and if they did, he wouldn’t let them get away with it. Never again would his little spy feel alone in this world.

With that he softly brushed his lips across her temple. A seal of a vow. A silent show of adoration.

And he could have sworn he felt a little flutter in his chest as her lip quirked upward in her dream state.

————————————————

Tags: @fxckmiup @saltedcoffeescotch @minnieoo @dr4g0ngirl @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife

Sorry for the delay with this chapter!

[hornyhermitry]

These are not the Zenins you’re looking for - Naobito & Naoya ramblings and then some

Since there’s no real alternative for longer rants with a personal flavour, let’s give this a shot here on tumblr I guess? Heh.

Preface

General Naobito facts:

71 years → born in 1946, died 2018

Curse Technique: Projection Sorcery

Special Grade 1 Sorcerer

One younger brother - Ogi Zenin

Probably one older brother - unnamed, father of Toji Zenin

(I assume Ogi is younger because they are clearly not twins from the way they look, Ogi looks younger and Ogi’s children Maki & Mai are ca. 10 years younger than Naobito’s son Naoya).

Three sons - youngest son Naoya (27 years in 2018 - born when Naobito was 44)

Fastest Jujucist (except for Gojo Satoru)

Both Naobito & Naoya are names that translate to honesty & straightforwardness. Naobito’s further includes a meaning of “helpful/support”

Hobby: Anime

Favorite food: Sake

Least favorite food: Fishcake

Observations & conclusions from his manga scenes:

Confident, determined, affirmative, tactical (ref. Dagon fight + Jogo appearance right before the burn, doesn’t mind losing an arm, thinks ahead of Toji going for Dagon and jumps in to distract in support)

Cocky & playful, enjoys fighting (often grinning, excited to see Dagon evolve, taunts Nanami “Two 1st grades cannot exorcise (Dagon)?”)

Petty (annoyed by everyone fixated on 4K 60FPS and stupid numbers, retorts to Maki wanting to take Clan Lead)

He was drinking and did not care about Maki leaving the clan. There was no mockery and no attempt to stop her. Only when she said she’d become the next clan head, he asked if he should make her life harder.

He showed up to Shibuya to help out the rest (Maki mocks his drinking habits, with cans next to him he shouts over to her to bring him drinks, but later he nonchalantly breathes into Nanami’s face and we see he actually has not been drinking) and is excited to hear Gojo has been sealed, wants to celebrate.

Maki antagonizes him uncalled for, a bait he does not take but tells her matter of factly she should be the one to go home, to which Nanami agrees.

Assumption based on minor clues

Clan head since the 80s or 90s — depending on circumstances.

→ 2018-1185 (Zenin at the very least date back to Heian times) = 833 years with 26 Zenin clan heads= average leadership of 32 years = his latest “starting date” would have been 1999.

IMO it is very likely he took over earlier than that, because as far as averages go, it usually is way longer spans that are interspersed with very short ones.

(see: “medieval life expectancy was just 31” which did not have most people die at 31 but caused by a high infant mortality seeking the average - you either died as a kid or lived into your 60s).

I think he took over in the mid to late 80s because that sets up the unfortunate situation his family line had to deal with.

On a factual level it’s also not unlikely, because the first half of the 20th century was a chaotic time all around the globe, full of societal shifts and political conflicts that may have potentially led to Naobito’s father/Naoya’s grandfather dying “early”.

Anyway. I present to you:

THE LIFE & TIMES OF NAOBITO ZENIN aka HOLY HEADCANON

The historical context is what makes Naobito so interesting to me and further supports my personal controversial headcanon that:

Naobito & Naoya Zenin are NOT the major players in the, let’s call it “traditional Zenin camp” that exiled Toji and used all kinds of shady internal clan politics to keep power systems up.

Let me take you on a very exhaustive detour on what Naobito being 71 years old in 2018 translates to.

He was born at the brink of World War II and in the wake of the atomic bomb.

During his lifespan, Japan went from a humbled country on its knees to a major player in the global economy, driving technological advancements. During his youth, Japan’s patriotism loosened and a lot of American culture was adapted - the yankii subculture rose to prominence.

JJK readers were told that the Heian era was the peak of jujucists. IRL historically, it was a time famous for many violent conflicts and natural disasters.

Since JJK establishes negative emotions breed curses and cursed energy, this means Naobito‘s young years must have been infested with stronger curses than ever, spawned from the aftermath, suffering, resentment and personal tragedies of WWII, Hiroshima & Nagasaki.

Born in 1946 within months of arguably the worst moment of Japanese history, emerging with a new technique utilising modern animation processes, his potential power upon birth likely matched the new level of curse threats, enabling him to eventually become the fastest Jujucist alive with the use of his modern technique. Growing up in a strongly American-influenced Japan in a rapidly changing world, he was a completely different person than his father (who had seen multiple wars but no massive technological and social progress yet) likely was.

Being the middle child, his father was likely 25-45 years older than him (men back then often fathered their first child between 19 & 23, so I assume he fathered his middle child at 25+), therefore born between 1921 and 1900. This makes him very likely a very hardline conservative patriot who took great pride in the battles he fought in - either during WWI or WWII or even both. A man raised in the spirit of a proud nationalist Japan at the peak of its expansionist mindset across Asia, high in spirits from the successful war against Russia and winning military campaigns in China, Singapore and more East Asian territories. Japan during Naobito’s father’s youth wore uniforms and kimonos.

Whereas Naobito’s social upbringing (outside of his father’s direct influence) was shaped by a more globalist approach and culture, appeasing to the West and showing e.g. through the Olympics of 1964 what a modern country they had become. So when Naobito was 18, Tokyo modernised its post-war infrastructure and built both the Metro as well as the Shinkansen connecting Tokyo and Osaka which kicked off the economic growth in a global spotlight and highlighted how well Japan had rebuilt itself after the defeat 20 years ago. Japan during Naobito’s youth wore slacks, jeans and white shirts. He is old in 2018, but he is a "modern man" in comparison to what came before and he is accustomed to change and progress.

Due to this clash of ideals and lived realities in the world around them, I think Naobito and his father had a very rocky relationship once Naobito entered puberty (and listened to jazz, blues, rock and dressed in blue jeans and leather jackets) and that they had some fundamentally different views on things.

The realities of external life could not have been more different between Naobito’s father and Naobito. Whether it was the world around them or the eventual standing of their clan, Naobito was dealt a very different hand of cards than a very very long line of Zenins in previous generations had been dealt for many centuries.

Due to going up against a man with so much pride and confidence when emancipating himself as his own person, I believe Naobito grew a strong backbone and was a very genuine, upright person - within the limits of his time and upbringing. Much more progressive and less patriotic than his father in any case, which surely was a source of conflict. Yet, I suspect that succeeding in spite of his father’s disapproval is what fueled him to become a more capable and autonomous person than his brothers are and to show that an allegedly inferior curse technique will not hold him back. But Naobito and his father did not only clash about this. In the later Hakari introduction chapter, JJK establishes there are several political factions and some are in favor of traditional millenia old curse techniques like Megumi's 10 Shadows or Gojo's Six Eyes and shun new curse techniques like Projection Sorcery and Idle Gambling that only emerged with new technology. Since sorcerer grades are based on Jujutsu strength and such, people with a modern curse technique are clowned on and not properly being recognized - which applies to both Naobito and Naoya.

The realities of life for Naobito and Naoya are very similar and Naoya’s life is dealing with similar challenges as his father’s. Unlike his father, Naobito was confronted with the reality of established values, routines and social hierarchies becoming horribly moot and due to his own curse technique not being a prestigious one, he was forced to reevaluate the legitimacy of what his father had taught him and what old clans perpetuated. Both in light of the changing world and also his own value as a person and a jujucist. Naoya was confronted with a similar road to growth and reevaluating the classic Jujutsu society & clan values, also having received the same modern technique as his father and witnessing the new kind of strength Toji wielded.

While I do say that Naobito is a different man than his father, I am a firm believer that “the apple does not fall far from the tree” and very much see the likeness between Naobito and Naoya. I feel I should clarify this applies more to personality traits than opinions and I think all three of them are more straightforward and more blunt than the other family lines.

The people readers are told to be suffering by the Zenin family’s actions and opinions are Maki and Toji.

Both of which are not Naobito’s children. They are children of Naobito’s older and younger brothers.

Naobito’s unknown older brother exiles Toji due to him being resented and seen useless by the majority of the clan for not having techniques or energy, Naobito’s younger brother Ogi and his wife raise Maki & Mai in a cruel way, on top of that Ogi is shown to secretly plot behind people’s backs and be involved (with e.g. Jinichi) in inner-clan intrigues and betrayal. Funny enough, Toji himself is shown to be as much of a schemer (as seen through his bounty plan) and backstabber (pun intended) in line with his upbringing.

Naoya & Naobito on the other hand speak their mind openly, announce their gripes and do what they want. Naoya and Naobito are not schemers, they very much are -in accordance with their names - straightforward.

Naoya is many things, but he is not a liar.

Both Naoya and Nabito are eccentrics with a very flashy style that does not conform to plain traditions:

Naoya with his piercings and dyed hair (I’ve previously mentioned his white hakama being unusual for men, which still holds true, but it is not uncommon for high rank swordsmen to wear white ones, so I have now come to conclude these indicate his rank as Chief of the Hei) and Naobito, as an old man, sporting this over the top moustache.

There is an idiom about Japanese society that the nail who sticks out gets hammered down. Both Naoya and Naobito are doing everything to stand out and refuse to fall in line with unreflected traditional actions.

Both have not inherited the Ten Shadows technique but Projection Sorcery - as a result, both are on their own side which aligns more with the reformer side (that contains other Jujucists such as Hakari & Kirara who also have modern techniques), than the conventional conservatives (such as the higher ups or the Kamos. On that note, take a moment to reflect on the implications of Maki and Mai wearing modern school uniforms while Kamo Junior wears a uniform that much more resembles traditional clan attire: The Kamos are as conservative as the Zenins and probably more so than Naobito).

Both Naobito and Naoya are denied their perceived birthright purely by the unfortunate existence of Gojo Satoru and his Six Eyes, and Megumi having the 10 Shadows Technique, for the first time in hundreds of years denying the Zenin’s claim to fame.

Since Gojo was born 1989, I personally like to imagine Naobito tasted clan leadership as “the strongest” (and, in his case, fastest) for at least a few years before the one to change the world’s balance was born - simultaneously stealing Naobito’s position at the peak of the Jujutsu world and also denying that of his at that point two sons. Toji was already past the point of manifesting a cursed technique and therefore all existing “sons” of the Zenin family were ruled out to take their clan’s glory back from Gojo Satoru.

So Naobito tried and succeeded in having another son - I believe this is why Naoya was fathered by him as late as at 44 years. All hopes to restore the waning Zenin power were now on this little boy growing up. Would he be the one to manifest 10 Shadows and make the Zenin a worthy competitor to the Gojo clan again?

No.

Naobito, at this point already several years into watching his clan’s decline, lost the last bit of hope to restore its glory by traditional means and standards when his son manifested his very own curse technique: Projection Sorcery. Personally, I believe that your curse technique is heavily related to your personality - or call it soul if you like - and both Naobito and Naoya having the same technique reflects their similarity in character.

So Naobito raised Naoya to try and surpass the competing Gojo Six Eyes boy even without inheriting the jackpot technique.

While I do believe that Naoya was pampered by servants and women growing up, being the son of the Clan Lead and future Zenin heir in a long line of proud Jujucists, I also coin Naobito as one to give tough love, and demand a lot and would assume Ogi resented him because he would remind him of his own lack of potential, lack of power and lack of future.

On the topic of Ogi:

He is a weak, bitter man who holds resentment for everyone around him and blames everyone but himself for his shortcomings.

Being the youngest brother, his upbringing was different from Naobito‘s and I imagine that especially after witnessing his father and older brother argue and clash, he tried to suck up to his father by being a yesman to all his views and often tried to throw his older brothers under the bus and snitch about his activities.

He has always been a miserable rat with no backbone, hoping for another authority figure to spoonfeed him power.

He never learned that power is not given but taken and failed to take ownership for his life and actions right until his death.

Toji‘s father/Naobito‘s older brother:

I have little thoughts about Toji‘s father/Naobito‘s older brother, but I think he also clashed with his father and (this is super out there) maybe refused to take responsibility despite being the firstborn son and had no interest in leading the clan. I think he was on good terms with Naobito either way and I can see the two of them in their late teens/early 20s out in town, wearing jeans, pomade in their hair, smoking, flirting and riding around on motorbikes with Ogi nagging on the backseat how irresponsible, shameful and reckless they are while they tell the miserable virgin to shut up and learn to be a man.

(In fact, this is the Zenin backstory I want to read and write about, hahaha).

I consider it possible Ogi remained unmarried/a virgin for most his life and only decided to marry a few years after Naobito‘s youngest son Naoya had also failed to manifest Ten Shadows, in a last ill-guided attempt to steal his brother‘s superiority by fathering a child with the golden curse technique. Unfortunately Maki and Mai did not get it either and, to add insult to injury, were girls. Ogi must have been seething about his unlikely decision to marry after all. Possibly he was talked into it by others in the Zenin clan who did not hold Naobito and his ways and his son Naoya in high regard - considering them too unruly and progressive, affirming their future support to Ogi‘s line if he ever takes action.

Either way, I think Ogi and Naobito (and Naoya) are on bad terms and Ogi is a weak rat that deserves to be stepped on by greater people.

Most readers sympathise with Maki and Megumi and their goals and views because that‘s the lense through which we see the story, but take a step back to think about the legitimacy of it for a moment.

Maki leaving the clan is fair, but why would she (or unwilling Megumi) be suitable candidates for leading what‘s essentially a business with lives and salaries and adult people in national positions of power and military units? The thought of it is absurd. It‘s only natural for Naoya, who was raised into this responsibility from a young age, to be outraged over a noname teenager stealing his legacy from him the moment he was supposed to get it in his mid to late 20s. It’s as outrageous as Gojo taking it from Naobito.

My personal headcanon on Naobito’s drinking habit is that it formed in his later years, after Gojo’s curse technique emerged. Struggling to come to grips in his mid 50s, after a life lived for the Zenin legacy for ultimately nothing, watching the power loss and decline of relevancy the Zenin hold after the unfortunate event series - Toji energyless and exiled - Gojo born with Six Eyes - Naoya not having Ten Shadows - from the sidelines of history and the center stage of his clan, with his older brother & his father definitely already dead at this point and him being left with the joke of a person that Ogi is, he took to drinking. “If it‘s all drifting into irrelevancy, I might as well sit back and have a drink in my remaining years.” Something to this extent. In line with this, writing Megumi into his will was a drop in the ocean and at this point no dent in the current state of the clan already past its prime in his eyes.

And yet, old Naobito, leader of the most powerful and wealthy Jujutsu clan (who does not need money) goes to help with the curse outbreak in Shibuya. Sober, despite Maki‘s claims.

And he does not pull a Kusakabe avoiding the curses roaming around but genuinely puts in effort to defeat Dagon and save Maki (who left the clan) after telling her to go home (which against all reason she refuses out of teenage thickheadedness and nearly dies burnt to a crisp as a consequence).

Whereas her father, Naobito‘s little brother Ogi, throws her into a cursed pit to die.

Now, as for Naoya.

Unlike Maki's mother, he does not try to stop her from getting to the curse tools. Unlike her father, he does not throw her into a cursed pit to die. Unlike Jinichi he is not involved in a plot to have her killed.

He mocks her for having an ugly face, rendering her a total failure (on top of not having CE and being a bad fighter). Compared to what everyone else is doing to her, that is really tame.

What I find interesting and most people oddly gloss over, is how he asks her if her plan is to stay in the shadow of Megumi and Yuta.

The implication of this is that he looks down on her choice to tag along behind two other boys — instead of rising up to defeat the odds stacked against her which he potentially considers her capable of. If he was not considering her worthy of being her own person, why would he mock her for being in the shadow of those two? Much like Naobito raised Naoya with tough love, I think this (unconsciously) is a jab at Maki to take Naoya and Naobito as a role model (instead of her weak father) and rise to greatness despite the odds. Somewhere in that douchebaggery of his, he considers her biggest fault her passiveness and acceptance of other people’s low opinion of her and tries to get her to snap and rethink. Be the rebel that Naobito and Naoya also are and were.

I think Naoya, with his definition of and thoughts on strength, his contrarian taunting of everyone else in the clan after his father’s death, had plans to reform the Zenin clan in his own vision once his time as a head comes, to mare sure it will be sustainable in a new age of Jujutsu with less outdated ways of thinking. Naoya has his own agenda. He is not following anyone else's. He does not care for Sukuna's plans, he does not care about Kenjaku's plans. He does not care about Gojo's or Maki's plans (the latter ofc only up until she is all up in his face with her actions) he just wants to get promoted, nothing more. That's not any bizarrely evil masterplan, just a guy trying to steer his life in accordance with his personal vision and goals.

One of my most genuine headcanons about Naoya is that, without Maki and Megumi, he’d have been with Hakari’s and Kirara’s reformer faction and wouldn’t ever have been perceived as an antagonist at all. Because he is not a villain, he is an antagonist, and specifically for Maki & Megumi - he has zero personal agenda with the rest of the cast (aside from Gojo in the broadest sense, but in the same way his father already had it and just lived with it).

Naoya’s whole life revolved around two things: eventually stepping up to lead the clan and to prove himself worthy despite an inferior curse technique, so naturally Megumi stealing the head position from him with contractual fineprint pisses him off to the max. And then to add insult to injury, his “untalented, ugly little cousin” runs amok and slaughters the clan he was supposed to inherit right under his nose. Which he, interestingly, kind of brushes off like water under the bridge and just mocks her for being heartless. He holds no sentimental feelings towards those people murdered there, going by his lack of reaction. And does not care about the Zenin legacy being wiped out for the most part. Which hints at him having prepared for a reform that has now become moot through Maki’s actions.

Now only his other goal in life remains. To be the strongest next to Toji and Gojo. And had Maki not challenged that, had it been anyone else over a different topic, he would not have cared. But his biggest insecurity aka driver was prodded and his arrogance and refusal to acknowledge strength in another Zenin child not him became his downfall. On that note, I also do not consider him a misogynist in particular - he is a petty, spiteful instigator and goader and shittalks everyone. He baits Jinichi into attacking him, he baits Maki in a sexist way, he shittalks women in front of his aunt and he shittalks his brothers to Choso. He does not exclusively single out women to disrespect, he disrespects ANYONE. (Like young Gojo by the way, who behaved the same before he met Geto - all these kids raised into clans, especially as child prodigies set up for future greatness, have little respect for others. A baseline a big ego and a certain arrogance and always feeling better than the rest, no natural instinct to care for others and no respect for established rules are traits both share. Fortunately, Geto opened Gojo’s eyes on the responsibility of strength and taught him some consideration and at least a little humility and kindness. Otherwise, Gojo and Naoya would indeed be standing right next to each other, in arrogance and disrespect for those lower than them).

For what it’s worth, I think Naoya is sexist but the one who is an actual misogynist is Ogi. And that’s why Naoya’s treating Ogi’s wife and daughters mockingly the same way their father/husband does. Yes, there is a difference between sexism (crude prejudice and discrimination) and misogynism (actual contempt and dislike/hatred of women). And while we’re at it -- most of Jujutsu society’s clan-raised peers (vs. random recruits like Yuji, Yuta, Todo) will be sexist. They just don’t get a chance to show it in the manga because their arcs revolve around other things. Kenjaku, Sukuna, Gojo, are all certified sexists given their upbringing and backgrounds.But their stories are different ones, so it’s not likely to come up. Although there has been Gojo’s remark about scary women and Sukuna looking forward to killing women - just saying.

Personally, I don’t see characters or people IRL as good or bad, that’s a childish way of thinking and in such narrow simplistic boxes that only fit in children’s cartoons. People are people. Flawed. Everyone has flaws and everyone has reasons why they have those flaws. Some people click better with your own flaws, some end up causing issues in your life. One bad trait and deed or one good trait and deed doesn’t make or break a person. It’s the sum of what you repeatedly do. Intentions are secondary, the outcome of your actions makes it real. “Who’s worse? The demon who killed 2000 humans or the human who told another human her face is ugly?” is a stupid game to play, especially on childish claims like “oh but sexism is real” like death and murder aren’t just because your sheltered little life has been free from them so far. Grow up and start recognizing the realities of physical violence. Anyway. Naoya mocked Maki for being unable to find a husband with her scarred face, her father threw her into a pit to kill her. People who think Naoya is her issue need to get a grip.

The Zenins you are looking for are not this line of the family but the rest.

And I wanna drink sake and watch anime with Naobito. And listen to him telling me stories from his 30s in the late 1970s.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[sankta-starkova]

THE OUTSIDERS

009 | always watching

previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

summary: the one where daisy returns to camp from college and is blinded by her love for him, even as the world ends

wordcount: 3k

Daisy hadn't had a bad nightmare in months. Not a bad one anyway.

Ever since Percy, Annabeth and Grover came, something had shifted in camp and it was like the doomsday clock had started ticking faster.

That's why she felt the need to protect the kids, to shelter them from whatever storm was coming her way.

What she didnt know was that there was a force out there more powerful than anyone could ever imagine and it had her eyes on her.

Daisy was too powerful. She had too much influence within camp, too many friends. And she was a distraction for their main target.

After the quest, she had been cursed with dreams that told her about all the awful things that the Gods did.

Then they started to fade and the memories of the quest would haunt her as she slept. She had been safe for a while, but as she fell asleep two nights after the kids left for their quest, she didn't know what would be waiting for her.

In her dream, she was back where it had all started to go wrong. They barely managed to escape the garden of Hesperides where they had been tasked to find one of three golden apples.

The dragon was more than they had expected and both her and Luke managed to stumble out, barely holding onto their lives.

His arm was around her shoulders, supporting her. He had seen her get hit by the dragon but so had he. They just had to keep moving.

She collapsed onto the sidewalk, dragging him down with her as she let out a scream of pain.

They had been running for so long and exhaustion and pain were starting to catch up with her.

"Get up Des, we have to go, come on," They couldn't afford to stop. He hitched his arm under hers and tried to get her to keep running.

"I can't move," she groaned out in pain, a hand flying down to her side.

He set her down gently onto the curb and watched as she pulled her hand away, sticky with blood.

Luke could feel the bile rising up in his throat as he touched the hem of her shirt, looking into her eyes.

She nodded and he lifted the shirt up slightly to reveal the wound. She had been scratched by the dragon earlier on their escape when she pushed Luke out of the way.

He ignored the pain blossoming on his face, the cut most likely to leave a scar as he realised how much trouble she was in.

Luke thought he was going to lose her.

"Fuck, let's go," he muttered before picking her up bridal style and rushing down the street.

The sun was setting and there was nobody around so Luke punched a hole through a cars window before starting it up.

He placed her in the passenger seat and finished hot wiring the car before the engine ignited and he started driving back to camp.

When he nearly hit a curb, she looked at him confused, "Do you even know how to drive?"

"No, but how can it be too hard," he said with a shrug and she just stared at him, horrified. If the dragon didnt kill her, Lukes driving certainly would, "You stay back there, you don't move,"

She let out a hiss of pain when he drove too fast over a speed bump, jolting her and he looked over at her with panic in his eyes.

"You're gonna be alright, just stay with me," he said, trying to keep his eyes on the road whilst also looking after her.

"I'm so tired Luke," she could feel how heavy her eyelids were, just begging to close.

His eyes went wide, "No Daisy, you stay away for me. Stay awake," his hand flew out, resting on her knee to try to rustle her awake, "Keep talking,"

"I wish I could see my mum again, I wish I spent more time with her before she died," her words were getting slurred and he knew she needed help.

Every bone in his body told him that he had to do this. That there was only one place that they could go to rest.

His heart and his head were having an internal battle but as he saw the familiar Conneticut signs and buildings, he knew exactly where to go.

He took a sharp turn, not noticing the way that Daisy's head slumped against the seat before he pulled into a suburban neighbour, looking for a specific house.

Quickly, he pulled up onto the drive and parked in front of some random house.

He turned to unbuckle Daisy and that's when he noticed that she was unconscious. His hand flew to her neck as he frantically tried to find her pulse.

"No, no, no," he wanted to scream out, cursing the Gods for doing this to him. His hands were shaking, unable to find her pulse, "Come on baby, I can't lose you too,"

When he felt that steady thump of her pulse, he let out a sigh of relief, head knocking against the passenger seat in relief.

He walked to the other side of the door, picking her up bridal style once again before pounding on the door.

An older woman opened up. Her hair was brown but turning grey and if Daisy was awake, she would have been able to spot the resemblance in an instant.

It was his mother.

"Luke. My boy, come on in," she said excitingly, ushering her son in.

She closed the door behind her and Luke looked around at the house he had grown up in. It was dark and there was stacks of sandwiches lined up on the tables. Just like he liked.

"Hi mum, please can you give me alone a moment to settle in," he couldn't deal with her insanity right now.

He looked down at Daisy, wondering if his mother could see her through thr mist of not but he didn't care. All that mattered was that she was okay.

"Sure, I'll bake a fresh batch of cookies for you," she said, patting her son on the cheek before walking into the kitchen.

He cringed internally. This was the last place he wanted to be. He couldn't stand to even look at his mother or his childhood house but he had to suck it up for Daisy.

Muscle memory took him towards his childhood room and he nudged the door open with his knee before looking around.

He lay her down on what was now a twin sized bed. That's when he realised that everything else had stayed the same except his mother had bought him a new bed. It was almost like she knew he would come home one day.

"Luke," she mumbled, eyes blinking as they tried to adjust to the light.

Daisy had never felt this much pain before. Not after the car crash that killed her mum and stepdad, not when the monster attacked her on the way home from school.

She couldn't even hold her head up and if it wasn't for Luke having propped her up slightly in the bed, she wouldn't even be able to see him sitting there next to her.

He looked exhausted. She didn't know where she was or how they had gotten there. The last thing she remembered was collapsing in the little North Dakoga town.

Luke didn't seem too injured. All she could see was a large cut over his eye, the blood still slightly oozing from the wound.

He grabbed her hand, moving slightly closer to her. He had been so worried that she wouldn't wake up but now she was here. She was alive.

"I'm here, I'm here," he said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

He fed her an ambrosia squarez hoping that he had given her the correct amount.

"I'm really cold," Daisy said, her voice already sounding more alert.

He nodded, knowing that with the amount of blood loss she had sustained, she wad probably struggling.

"You're gonna have to sew me up," she said and his eyes went wide at the idea.

Without hesitation, he searched his house for his mothers first aid kit before returning back.

She walked him through it, telling him what to do even when it really hurt. He cleaned the wound, apologising profusely every time she swore under her breath.

He even sowed her up again. It was haphazard but it would have to do until they got back to camp.

He fed her an ambrosia square - the last one that they had - and she took a second, tasting her mother's pasta on her tongue.

She felt better nearly instantly, not even flinching as he wrapped the bandage around her stomach.

When he was down, he pulled away, a blush on his face from how much he had touched her. Normally she would make fun of him but it didn't seem like an appropriate time.

As warmth flooded her system and she began to feel better, she realised how injured Luke was.

"Your face," her hand reached up and she brushed against the skin next to it, careful not to irritate the wound.

His face flushed at the touch, "I'm fine, I'm fine. I don't care about me all I need is for you to live,"

"You've got to be alright as well," she responded, eyebrows scrunched up.

Daisy knew that she couldn't live without him. Not now and not ever.

Luke shrugged his shoulders, "Nobody would care if I died," he said, almost like he had thought about it before. His legacy.

"Loads of people would. I would," her voice was soft as she grabbed his hand, "I need you luke,"

They were silent for a second, staring into one another's eyes. Who knows what would have happened if there hadn't been a knock on the door.

"Who's your friend?" A voice said and they both turned to look at the door.

Their adrenaline was still up after the quest and it was survival instincts that made them belive it was a threat.

The woman at the door was just Lukes mother and all she wanted was to make sure they were okay. She held a plate of cookies in her hands, setting them down on the table shakily.

Daisy tried to sit up, wanting to be more polite and actually meet Lukes mother but he stopped her from going too far, hand on top of hers.

When she saw that, his mothers eyes lit up, "Girlfriend? How wonderful,'

"Mom, no-" Luke started, eyes wide.

At that point, he had only just figured out his love for her. When he saw her bleeding out, that was the moment he knew he wouldn't survive without her.

Daisy just squeezed his hand, "Let her be happy Luke," she muttered to him.

She knew what it was like when people were not fully there. They couldn't explain their situation and she knew it would hurt less to just go along with it.

"It's lovely to meet you Mrs Castellan, I'm Daisy Valance," She said, sitting up.

May had the biggest grin on her face. This traumatised woman seemed happy to be able to be with her son for a little while.

"What a gorgeous name for a gorgeous girl," she said, hands shaking as she reached forward for her son who just pulled away, "You must stay for a while,"

"Maybe a few days. Thank you for your hospitality ma'am," Daisy could see how much she wanted them to stay and it pained her to know they would leave again.

"No problem. For my boys girlfriend, you can have anything," She stepped forward, patting her leg before walking out of the room.

It was silent for a little while after that. She didnt know just how troubled his mother was.

"I thought you said she could see through the mist," Daisy said. She knew they must look bad, bruised and bloody.

"She can. Just not very well anymore," he said, a sombre tone to his voice, almost like he was trying to remember how she was before she went insane, "We can't stay for long,"

"Just for a while. I can barely move Luke," she said, looking up at him.

He squeezed her hand, just like she had done earlier, "For you. Anything," he echoed his mother's sentiment.

They ate some of the edible food in the house before she fell asleep, exhausted after the day.

Her temperature had gone up and her wound looked okay and he hoped she was going to be okay. He didn't know what he'd do without her.

When he was sitting on the porch later that night, he heard a rustling in the bushes, pulling his sword out and looking at the figure.

"Son," the man said.

He shook his head, not in the mood to talk to him, "Go away Hermes,"

"I'm here to offer you help. I can get you back to camp tonight," he promised, "You should leave your mother alone, she is fragile,"

Luke stood up, pointing his finger at his father with an accusatory glare, "My girl is fragile. She needs help an-"

His father cut him off with a wave of his hand, "I'll get you a ride back to camp. They can fix her up there,"

"I won't accept anything from you," he said with a scoff.

"I know you stole money from your mother. You're my son after all, mischevious," luke could feel the money burning a hole in his pocket. He needed it to get back to camp.

"I'm not your son. I'm nobody's son," he spat out, turning back to look at his father.

He hadn't helped him at all during his life. He had gotten through life fine without him and he didn't need him now. Or ever.

"Olay. Whatever you want to say Luke," He held his hands up in surrender, knowing it was no use, "I've called a cab and it will be here tomorrow morning. 8 am sharp. It will take you both back to camp,"

"I failed the mission," he muttered, not sure if he was talking to Hermes or himself.

"Does it count as failing if you survived?" He asked cryptically.

Luke shook his head, furious still at his fathers appearance, "If she doesn't make it then it will be failure,"

"Luke," a voice called out and his heart sped up at the sound of her voice. She sounded so frail.

"She needs me," he said, eyes wide.

At that moment, Hermes saw the pure love in his sons eyes; it was the same look he used to have when looking at May.

He turned around, opening the door  to the house and getting ready to step inside.

"Good luck my boy," He heard Hermes say before the door closed.

He went in and sat by her side, brushing her hair out of her eyes. She had this frantic look on her face that he didn't recognise.

"I had a nightmare, I'm sorry, I don't know why I called for you," she said, a little ashamed.

"We all get them," he said.

She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut like it would keep out the memory, "This one was worst. There was this cloaked man and-"

He grabbed her hand again, holdig her, "Shh, don't worry about it right now. You need your rest,"

She felt weak. She wasn't supposed to be so weak. She was one of the best in camp and here she was crying, bedridden.

"Luke. Can you stay with me?" She asked sheepishly like a little child.

He moved to the other side of the double bed, tucking himself under the covers and lying down beside her.

She lay her head on his chest, feeling safe for the first time in a while. She could feel his heart pounding and she just cuddled up closer to her.

"Always," He promised. He loved her more than life itself and that's what he realised on this quest, "I'll never let anyone hurt you ever again,"

Daisy didn't even hear the end of his sentence because she had fallen asleep, so exhausted from her wounds.

He would get the taxi the next morning that his father had provided. Whilst he didnt need his hospitality, he needed to make sure Daisy was okay and the best place for her was at camp.

He struggled to sleep that night, unable to stop worrying about her and whether she was going to be okay.

Daisy in the present day woke up with a jolt, her hands pressed against the bed as she sat up.

She could feel her heart pounding in her chest at the memory, her palms sweaty.

Even though the dream was over, she could still hear some voice laughing at her, mocking her naivety like there was something going on that she wasn't privy to.

Right now, she didn't want to think about it. She didnt want to relive the nightmares.

Slowly, she climbed down from her top bunk bed and looked around at the cabin. They were all asleep and she was standing there, shaking and horrified.

Without thinking, she walked put of her cabin, almost in a trance. She wandered into the Hermes cabin and everyone was fast asleep.

She turned and muscle memory walked her towards Lukes bunk. He was on the bottom bunk and she tapped him on the shoulder like a little girl again.

He opened his eyes blearily and when he saw her standing there, he knew something was wrong.

He rubbed his eyes before sitting up in the bed and finally getting a good look at her. Her eyes were red and she looked scared, more scared than he had seen her in years.

It had been a while since she had come here after a nightmare, asking for him to just hold her for a minute - it was only the second time since they started dating.

Luke knew what was wrong in an instant and he pulled her in for a hug, head laying on her chest.

"I don't know why it came back," she muttered before pulling away.

The bed was small but he pulled the cover up, encouraging her to get in with him.

She snuggled up close to him, half on him and half on the bed. She lay her head on his chest just like she had done when they were on the mission and he brushed a hand over her hair soothingly.

"I'm gonna protect you remember. You're safe when you're with me," he promised.

She nodded. She knew it was true. They had gone through so much on that quest but they were both alive and that's what matters.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked, voice quiet.

She shook her head and he knew that it must have been bad. He wondered if she had been visited by the man in the desert yet.

Maybe this was the moment where he turned 100% to the cause, no hesitation.

"I'll be here when you want to talk," he promised. 

They spoke in hushed voices for a minute before she fell asleep against him.

He pressed a kiss to her head and this time, he managed to keep the nightmares away. He didn't let Kronos plague her with those dreams again.

Taglist:

@b3bybunny @inejghafawifesblog

A/N: I wanted to include some backstory for Luke and Daisy and I hope you liked the way it was formatted. Thank you everyone for reading this, your comments and your votes all mean a lot.

[princeasimdiya12]

Bucchigiri Finale Thoughts

So I watched Episode 12 earlier today and had some time to think things over. And unfortunately, I realized that I didn't like this episode very much. Granted there are a good amount of moments that I did enjoy and contributed well to the main themes of the series. But there were too many moments that I felt undercut my enjoyment of the show. So fair warning, a lot of what I have to say is fairly critical and kinda negative. If you agree or disagree with anything I've said here, feel free to reblog this with your own comments. And if you're not into negativity, feel free to ignore this.

But I will start by mentioning the things I did like.

Just like everyone and their gyoza-making mothers, I loved the final fight scenes. The choreography was well executed and I thought the animation was top notch, both when it came to Senya vs Ichiya and Arajin vs Matakara. I really liked how in depth they went with the fighting sequences and the dark colors fit really well with the tone of the drama of the scene. The emotional range between the fighters felt incredible; the actors truly gave it their all when going about their fights.

And the part with Arajin mustering the power to save Matakara was beautifully done. I was in awe when Arajin brought up how Matakara became the very monster he tried desperately to destroy which really got a crack on his defenses. The sequence of Arajin reaching out to Matakara's inner child to help him out of his despair was gorgeous. Especially since Ara-chan used the Friendship Stone both to help the inner child and later when telling his old friend that he's not alone anymore. That was really great and genuine character growth, especially since Arajin accepted that he was in the wrong for leaving him all the time.

And as I mentioned in an earlier post, I did love the first scene with Arajin meeting Matakara for the first time. But as a twist, it was Arajin who was inspired by Matakara's dedication to being a Honki Person and volunteered himself to train alongside his new friend. That was a great twist and it adds new depths to how Arajin was actually inspiried by his old friend and not the other way around like we believed for so long.

So those were the parts that I genuinely enjoyed. Now for the parts I didn't really like..

On one hand, while it is nice that Zabu wasn't brutally beaten to subconsciousness, I do kiinda wish that he did have to be hospitalized. It just feels so off-putting how he's relatively okay despite being brutally mauled by Matakara only a few hours ago. Especially since Marito and Kenichirou wound up in the hospital after losing to Matakara. Plus I feel like it undercuts the drama and severity of the situation by having Zabu be fine enough to look for Matakara. It doesn't help that he and Komao don't really do much apart from running around trying to find their friend.

Also, I hope I'm not the only one but did anyone else feel uncomfortable with this scene?

I understand that Mahoro did it in a desperate bid to bring her brother back but the way she described Kenichirou here was just... gross.

Not insane, not weird, not quirky, not even ridiculous.

It was just gross for me to see her dehumanize one of the few dark skinned characters on the show. Even if he's not black/black coded, it still rubs me the wrong way that she would say those things so casually. Especially since Japan can be really casual when it comes to making racist/offensive remarks to brown skinned people in it's media. Plus there are tons of other ways she could have referred to him without calling him a gorilla. Like meathead, blockhead, oaf, ogre. Any other insult could have worked and been more acceptable than the ape insult. And it's unfortunately consistent since she did call him a gorilla during the Gang War Arc.

And then there's this part...

I don't know if it was Mahoro's doing or if that's what the original nurses did, but it was just uncalled for. Both for the unspoken racism and for how it doesn't even apply to Kenichirou's character. Out of the three banchos, he's always been the least violent and was always shown to be tranquil and easy to work with, unlike Marito and Akutaro who were more unhinged, wild and violent in comparison. There shouldn't be any reason for him to behave so violently that the staff would resort to shackling him like an animal. Especially given how defeated he looked when Matakara beat him in a fight.

Another reason why I dislike this scene is because the characters involved (Mahoro, Marito, Kenichirou) do nothing to contribute to the final duel between Arajin and Matakara. None of these characters actually show up until the end when Matakara apologizes to everyone. You could have made it so that during the apology scenes, the two gang leaders could have shown up while covered in bandages or crutches. There really isn't a need to show us Marito waking up since we could get that later on in the end with Matakara apologizing to Siguma Squad.

The same can be argued for Zabu, Komao, Outa, Jabashiri and Hagure. Even though they spend most of their time hunting down Matakara and Arajin, they don't exactly contribute to the final duel or offer any words to the main heroes. They just show up and the duo resolve their problem like nothing.

Regarding Ichiya's secret of him dying, while it's not the worst reason for him to be so insistent on fighting Senya, I do wish there was more build up or at least some hints to it. It just feels like a random reason for why Ichiya developed his grudge against Senya. It's not the worst reason and it does make sense for why he wanted to die like a Honki Person instead of to a random illness, it just leaves a bad taste to how it happened to him out of randomness.

And wow, Arajin is never going to overcome the internet hating him for being a perverted simp mc.

In a way, it makes some sense since Arajin's character arc was never about respecting women or learning that there's other ways to be a man apart from stealing a girl's virginity. That was never the focus as the story wanted him to confront his mistake of abandoning his old friend and not running away from his problems. That said, this still won't look good for him since fans are going to be turned off of Bucchigiri because of his perversions and how the show doesn't encourage him to change.

And as I've come to realize, the show itself doesn't seem to mind with the characters not growing out of their negative vices. A critique I have is that the show doesn't go out of it's way to challenge the beliefs of these characters or push them to grow into better people. Arajin is perfectly okay with being rude to everyone while pursuing a girl just so he can lose his virginity to her, Mahoro continues to lust over her older brother and has no interest in anything else, Marito is still a bloodthirsty bad boy who lives and breathes fighting, Kenichirou doesn't mind repeating high school as long as he gets to run Minato Kai, even Yayako prefers to act like a bubbly airhead rather then act like a responsible and respectful adult. And even with Matakara's corruption arc, he doesn't really recognize how harmful his idolization of Arajin was since the focus was more on his loneliness and trauma of being alone. Maybe because I'm spoiled by Mob Psycho 100, but it saddens me to see how these characters don't grow into better people or make an effort to change themselves. Especially since there can be potential for all of them.

And while I'm glad that Arajin and Matakara were able to become friends again, it feels like a letdown that there's no build up to it. It just rushes straight to them becoming friends again without acknowledging their negative attributes. Th same with puppy boy getting everyone to just accept him with no repercussions or consequences. It feels like letdown as there were no serious consequences for his actions. Like he could just go on a despair-induced rampage again and they'll just keep accepting him. On paper it's rather wholesome, but it does feel contrived if everything just works out without problems or how Matakara doesn't need to work hard to earn their forgiveness. That would have been for a greater character moment and to show Matakara taking responsibility for his actions. But we never see Matakara doing that and him being accepted by the gang feels rather hollow. It's technically nice that he has his friends back and that SS won't have his heart on a stick, but it feels hollow.

Speaking of taking non-responsibilities and being accepted by the gangs, Akutaro is now back with the NG Boys and they're accepting of him?

I really do wish we could have had a scene that explains how the heck he was able to win back his old gang despite them professing that they weren't going to let him beat them around like before. It just feels offputting that Akutaro is back in charge and has their respect with zero explanation or even any build up to it. He spent all his time trying out different jobs and activities but nothing to suggest that he wants to go back to his old club again.

Not to mention that this is still bad news for Minato Kai since Akutaro still has his hatred for Kenichirou and still longs to destroy him. And given how he also hasn't grown out of his negative vices, it's more than likely he'll come up with a new plan to destroy them albeit a different approach. Though the other gangs will be aware of him trying to wreak havoc on them again, I sincerely doubt that that'll stop Akutaro from having his revenge. And with the NG Boys and Girls behind his back, he definitely has a shot at it.

Then there's the resolution with the Nyan Nyaight Love segment. While it was endearing with the Receptionist wanting to help out the Customer, I'm just trying to wrap around the logic behind the Receptionist accepting him again.

It doesn't make sense to me how he'd be accepting of the guy who abducted one of your prized cats, lose her, and then just welcome him back with another cat. It's setting up a cycle for the Customer to fall in love with a new cat only for him to become obsessed with her and then try to steal the cat out of "love". And while the show focuses on him learning to lose his shame of visiting NNL, it doesn't try to challenge his dependency on cats for company along with his hostile jealousy.

Is the Receptionist aware of this potential problem and how it can happen again to another cat? Is the manager of NNL willing to accept the Customer again along with the risk of jeopardizing his business? I can't imagine how difficult it must be to promote a cat only to lose it because of a depressed nutjob.

Also, to the anon who was grossed out by Arajin's mom, I'd like to give a complete apology to you for refuting your claims. Because this...

This was not necessary.

I mean, it is interesting to know that Marito shows attraction to girls/women which gives more depth to his character. And while it is weird for him to hit on an older women, it's still technically okay since it is normal for teens/youth to show attraction to adults that catch their interest.

But what isn't okay is Yayako's reaction to his attention.

Again, she is a grown woman getting over excited because a teenage boy is trying to hit on her. And she's okay with this? Like ma'am, not only is that concerning because of the blatant age differences but you're also a married woman (according to the additional info). How are you so lenient with being hit on by a guy who could pass for your son? Like really? I used to think of Yayako as a quirky, wholesome woman who needed to not let her son treat her like trash. But now I'm seriously questioning her values and how she treats everything in her life like a soap opera.

In regards to Mitsukuni being in a coma and waking up, it was... okay. Like I'm happy that Matakara will get his big brother back and they'll be able to move into an apartment like they wanted to. But I feel that the reveal of him being in a coma undercut alot of the emotional turmoil Matakara went through. I don't know, it just feels rather hollow knowing that Mitsukuni was always there and was going to make it out alive while his little brother was running around like a war machine. It's conflicting in all honesty.

But what isn't conflicting was how much I really didn't care much for Senya returning in the last shot. I wasn't moved by Senya showing up in the last scene or how Arajin secretly missed him. Maybe it's because of how Arajin constantly yelled at him or acted like he didn't care. And while he does care in his own way, I just felt disinterested in the reunion and I had no strong emotions of Senya returning. It doesn't help that the part with Senya and Ichiya "leaving" didn't really have alot of emotional depth to make the reunion more impactful. Senya not coming back would not have me upset.

And those would be my thoughts on the final episode. For those who stuck around to read all of this, I thank you for doing so. And to those that stuck around, I apologize for the excessive negativity. And like I mentioned above, you're more than welcome to reblog this with your thoughts and whether you agreed, disagreed or have something to say regarding my post.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this along with my other posts for this ridiculous show. Your feedback means alot to me and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Nana na na, Nana na na, Nana na na na na...

[tomtenadia]

Detours to you - 21

Good day!

Posting a bit earlier than usual; because my hockey team is playing at what is ^:30 here and once I am in hockey mode I will forget to do it.

Soo... here we are after Rowan's accident. This will at least reassure you that he is fine.

Hope you will enjoy it.

MASTERLIST

“Aelin,” he paused “I need you to come to the hospital with me.”

Her world stopped. She had a bad feeling all day but now that her worst fear had come through she was frozen in place. Aedion, and Lysandra were at her side but Aelin felt numb.

Elide went to talk to Lorcan for details and he explained all he knew.

In the distance Aelin heard Maya asking for her dad and crying.

Aelin just stood, numb.

“I can take you to the hospital.”

She nodded slowly then turned to her daughter and asked her to go her grandparents.

“No. I want dad!” She screamed loudly while crying in her grandfather’s arms “I want dad!”

Aelin’s heart broke piece by piece.

Rhoe kissed his granddaughter “Your mum is going to the hospital to see how he is.” He tried to explain to an heartbroken toddler “we will take you there as soon as your dad is fine.”

“No.” She screamed once more and Aelin hugged her daughter “Baby, your dad is fine.”

Maya cried but Aelin had to give herself the courage to stand up “Dad, take her with you and mum. I will call you with updates.”

She walked to Lorcan “Take me to the hospital.”

With her heart breaking she followed the fire captain to the truck outside pushing aside the noise of her daughter crying. She had to be strong. She had to put barriers up and push the pain aside because if she didn’t she would risk falling apart completely.

The ride to the hospital felt like forever. The firefighters at her side offered comfort but all Aelin could think was Rowan. She was terrified. She had just found him again after five years. They were finally building that family they had talked about a long time ago. She could not lose him now. She did not want to tell her daughter that the horrible lie she had ready for her had become real.

A sob broke her lips and Ansel must have heard her because the woman pulled her closer “Aelin when we found him he was breathing, injured but breathing. That is a good sign.”

And then anger surged in her “He is the chief,” she shouted “why the fuck was the chief inside?”

Lorcan turned “I tried to stop him, but Rowan was the only one to know the layout of the industrial site like the back of his hand. He had been trying for months to fix the problems.”

“You are his best friend and you let him go in alone!” She shouted, her hands shaking. The truck fell silent and Aelin leaned her head against the window. The coolness of the glass offering a sort of temporary respite.

They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later and Ansel helped her get off the truck and Brullo flanker her too. Fenrys followed behind and Lorcan gave them a bit of space before went too.

Fenrys went to talk with the charge nurse with the familiarity of someone who spent a lot of time in hospitals. 

“Hi Sorscha, Asterin and James brought our chief in, any updates?”

Aelin stood beside the blonde man while her heart raced with anxiety.

“All I know for now is that he is in surgery.”

A sob escaped from her lips and Fenrys walked her to a chair. She sat in silence and time passed slowly. Aelin could hear people talking around her but she felt disconnected from her body. She was numb. The idea of losing Rowan had the power of crushing her.

Eventually Aelin called her parents and they had told her that they finally managed to get Maya to eat something and go to bed. It had been hard and she kept asking for her dad but they had managed to calm her down.

After almost two hours Aelin started to lose her patience, so she stood and pacing became a way not to freak out. She marched up to the nurses station asking for an update. She was about to scream in frustration when a doctor walked to her “Mrs Whitethorn?”

Aelin did not have the strength to correct the doctor. It was not a priority. She needed news. 

“I have an update on the Chief.”

Aelin braced for the worst.

“He suffered internal injuries and we had to perform a splenectomy.” She started explaining “he was bleeding internally when he arrived in. His lower body suffered fractures, the worst one to his  left femur and his legs. He will need surgery and then physio but he will be able to move again.” The doctor paused “He is intubated for now, we are keeping him like that to help with his oxygen levels and prevent ARDS and allow his lung to heal. His mask was cracked which means he might have inhaled toxic fumes and the next few hours are the most critical.”

Aelin wanted to try and relax but she feared there was more “But he is alive.”

“Yes, the Chief is alive and in the ICU for now.”

“Can… can I see him?” She asked with fear.

“Yes, I can take you up to the ward.”

Aelin turned to Fenrys and the man nodded “We will have to go back to quarters soon but we are visiting as soon as we are off shift.”

She ran to him and hugged him hard “Thank you.”

Fenrys’ arms wound around her squeezing back in support. She then pulled back and followed the doctor to the lift and to the ICU ward.

The doctor walked her to the door “He is in here.”

Aelin stared at the blue door and hesitated. She was afraid of what she would find behind. 

Her hand hovered on the handle and eventually pushed the door open. The lights were suffused, the room silent apart from the rhythmic sound of the machines that were crowding his bed. She had the strength to look up and Aelin saw Rowan in his bed. He looked so small in that bed. A sob rippled through her and then moved closer to the bed. She stared at his chest raising and falling steadily with the help of the respirator and a sense of calm descended on her. That was a good sign. He had multiples IVs one of which with blood. The right side of his body was heavily padded on his chest and along his arm. She sat gently at Rowan’s left side and gently brushed his head pushing back his hair “I was so scared,” she whispered, amidst sobs “when Lorcan showed up I…” a ragged breath left her “I thought I had lost you, Rowan. I was terrified.”

Aelin caressed his face, gently brushing the small cuts on his cheeks “You will be fine. You are coming back to Maya and me and we are going to be a family, Rowan.” Another kiss to his cheek “I love you. I love you so much, Rowan and I don’t want to be away from you ever again.” Tears were now falling freely “I love you. I love you, please wake up so I can finally shout it at you.”  She sat at his side, his uninjured hand flush to her chest so that he could feel her heartbeat.

The door behind her opened and the doctor from before came in.

“I just came for some checks.”

Aelin followed the doctor move around Rowan checking his monitors and his fluid bags.

“Do you have any questions?”

She nodded frantically but her voice failed her.

“The spleen…”

The doctor nodded knowing exactly what she was asking “He can live without it. For the first two years after a splenectomy he might have to take antibiotics daily to combat bacterial infections. Some people have to take them all of their lives but the chief is a healthy man and we are hoping is just going to be the first option.”

“Can he…. Can he work again?”

“Yes, he will need physio after this. But we are expecting a full recovery.”

“Okay,” was all she could say. Her emotions still too raw.

“We will be keeping him in the ICU for a couple of days until we remove his tube. His oxygen levels are improving quickly which is a good sign.”

The doctor finished the checks and left her alone. Aelin kissed Rowan and then walked out of the room.

She climbed all the way down to the lobby where his old team was still there waiting for news. Lorcan stepped up and she ran to hug the man “I am sorry for what I said,” she cried in the man’s arms “I was scared…”

“I tried, Aelin.”

“I know.”

“Do you have news?” Asked Brullo.

Aelin nodded eagerly pulling away from the captain “he had a splenectomy. He suffered some other internal injuries but the doctor fixed him.” She explained “His left femur and his legs are fractured and has second degree burns on his right side.” Fen took her hand “But he will be fine. Doc says they will move him out of the ICU in two days then you will be able to visit and he should wake up after that.”

Relief spread through the team.

“How are the people he saved?”

“Alive because of him,” added Lorcan “A bit of hospital time too but alive.”

Aelin burst into tears. It had been too much for a day and now the adrenaline 

was wearing off and her body was shutting down.

“Do you need us to call anyone?”

“No,” she dismissed Lorcan “Go back to base, I will be fine. Thank you for staying behind.”

The team hugged her tightly and then left the lobby. Aelin breathed in deeply and climbed back up in the ICU ward.

Outside of his room she called her parents with a new update and cried over the phone, letting her anguish finally free.

Once she felt finally liberated she walked back inside his room. Outside was snowing and Aelin reached the window looking outside “We never got our date, you owe me one, Chief.”

She stared at the Orynth skyline and spotted the Orynth tower shooting up in the night sky alight with reds and blues and oranges “Do you remember our first date? I convinced you to go to Orynth tower and you started telling me of all the rescues you had performed.” She started telling him “But it was after a shitty day at my job you had taken me to a bookstore and told to buy all the books I wanted that I think I fell in love with you,” she chuckled “It was probably one of the most dangerous thing you ever did, considering my book obsession, but it was also the most loving act anyone ever did for me.” She turned to him “You were caring, you are still the most caring man I know. When your mum fell ill after your dad died I knew letting you go was the right thing to do.” She paused and walked to the end of the bed “It broke me, Rowan. Pushing you away the way I did broke me, but you were hurting too much.”

She reached the side of his bed again and very gently she sat on it, then removed her shoes and climbed on the side that was the less injured. Aelin tucked herself against him and kissed his jaw “Will you ever fully forgive me?” Then all of a sudden she had an idea. Aelin jumped up and went to grab her bag with her phone. Frantically she scrolled through her contacts and hoped she was glad she never cleaned up her list because there towards the end there was still the number of Rowan’s parents house in Wendlyn. 

Excited she dialled it and when a voice she hadn’t heard in five years answered, her heart raced “Eiddwen Whitethorn?”

“Speaking.”

“Hi, I am Aelin…” she let the information sink in and then continued “I am calling because Rowan has been in an accident at work. He is at the hospital. He had surgery but the prognosis is good.”

His mother was silent and Aelin continued “He saved a few people in the meantime too. He will be fine, will just need some rehab.”

She heard sobs “I would like to ask you if you’d like to come here. Doctors are planning on waking him up in two days. I am sure he will love having you here and…” a pause “and I am sure our daughter would be delighted to finally meet her other grandma.”

Eiddwen still did not speak and Aelin worried “I would love to, Aelin. “ a pause “Is my son really going to be okay?”

Aelin finally found the strength to let out a small chuckle “he might have to give up hiking for a while, but he will be fine just a bit in less than minted condition.”

“Good.” She could hear a smile “Does this meant that you two are back together?”

“We are getting there, Eiddwen.”

“I will ask Sellene to book me a ticket. She is the one good with technology.”

Aelin smiled “Let me know when you arrive and I will come and get you at the airport.”

“I have a mobile number, you can call me on that.”

Eiddwen told her the number and the woman promised to call back with a flight plan. 

She walked back to Rowan “Your mum is coming too. I am sure she will love to fuss and Maya really wants to meet her grandma.”

Aelin kissed his cheek and went back at his side.

taglist

@rowaelinismyotp @swankii-art-teacher @whimsicallyreading @elentiyawhitethorn @aelin-bitch-queen @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity  @mis-lil-red @thegreyj @sailorsassley @leiawritesstories @clairec79 @morganofthewildfire @sv0430 @heartless--aromantic @autumnbabylon @rowanaelinn @backtobl4ck @susumaus98  @gracie-rosee @mybloodrunsblue @tanvee1231 @avenrebekah @whoever-you-choose-to-love  @theywillnotsingforme @universallytreepost @black-daisy-water @goddess-aelin @whispers-in-the-darkest-heart @lovely-dove-zee @athena127

[camojacketfag]

Fucking hell, dude. Your blog hit me in the gut like a nine-pound hammer. I’m a Michigan boy, born and bred, but did spend a year living in rural Indiana — and your pictures and posts and reblogs feel like home. For better or worse, they feel like home.

My year in Indiana was wild and reckless and free. That was where I lost my faith, where I lost my virginity, and where I found a part of my soul that I didn’t realize I’d been missing. The Midwest is a wild place, and she raises wild children who will always carry their mother with them, in their hearts and blood and bones, no matter how far we go, or how hard we try to leave her behind.

Thank you for this. Thank you for sharing what these places mean to you, and what you see in them. Thank you for sharing who you are through these places.

The way I’ve had your confession in my inbox for like two weeks man and I just keep ruminating on the right shit to say but I don’t really know what to say because it feels like you tore a fucking page out of my own notebook and said exactly what I’m trying to confess every god damn day. I lost my virginity to some dude named josh when I was 18 who read me his favorite bible verses after all was said and done. I learned to eventually find comfort and joy in inhabiting this part of the world after a tumultuous four years in which I made the fucking choice to finally heal and try and assess who it is I wanted to be. I’ve lost so much man. Friendships, relationships, moments I know I’ll never recover, all because I made the stupid ass decision to seclude myself and try and heal and comprehend why it is I am the way that I am. Most of my anxiety nowadays comes with wondering if I made the right decision in the end. I’m still in my 20s, and I’ve got so much left to learn and experience yet I spend my afternoons piling dirt onto the graves of those I’ve lost along the way. Every year is spent fighting with the remains of my dwindling faith. I’d like to maintain a belief in the mysticism of everyday life. In the idea that things happen to you for a reason and that ever so passionately you’re being guided by a mystical force much wiser and powerful than you could ever imagine, yet I spend the first half of most my years losing my faith, only to then somber and beg for its return in the later half of the year. Recently I’m grateful for the return of my vibrant rage man. I lost it earlier this year due to a relapse in my obsessive and compulsive nature and the desperation for hope that follows after. As of last week, somehow, I ended up in the right place, at the right time, to acknowledge the rage still residing deep within. How it hungers to break and bend and spit and scream and destroy and show everyone I spend mourning over that they’ll someday realize how worthy I was of keeping around. I’ve made my choice man. No return, I say. I know what I suffer from. I know what it is I’ve gone through. I know why it is my brain works the way it does and it took so much unnecessary sacrifice. So fucking be it man. Often, I wonder if others perceive me as selfish for doing this. I wish I could make them understand that I decided to get better, not only for myself, but to be a better being for them as well. Yet, we can’t go back. Growing up here, living here, feeling invisible here, feeling alone here, will only add to the strength you’ve acquired as you’ve gotten older. For now, I’ll sit back, I’ll people watch, I’ll listen to my records, read my books, write my words, rage every chance I’m given, and I’ll find a way to make peace with the idea that it will all work out in the end. I’ve no mountains to run to. No skyscrapers I can dig myself underneath. No late night booming clubs I can drown my sorrows with. Just plains and corn and a hunger to be more. To never settle. And I hope, you feel the same man. Take care of yourself and try and be kind to yourself! Thanks for reaching out. Means a lot.

[headcanonthings]

As someone still fairly new to the Terror AMC fandom this idea I’m about to outline might have already been written and if so please send it to me

But if not hear me out……….A Black Butler-esque AU

As someone who has fallen in love with Jopson I’ve seen a couple fics that point out or emphasize how good of a steward he is

And the source material already establishes that there are some kind of supernatural entities out there so this doesn’t feel like a big stretch to kind of connect the two

So here’s what I’m seeing:

Crozier runs into some trouble during the Antarctic trip with Ross

like SEVERE LIFE THREATENING kind of trouble

To save his men (especially his best friend and maybe crush Ross) Crozier makes a demon deal

Maybe he doesn’t really understand at first, maybe he thinks the conversation is some kind of dream/hallucination or maybe he believes right away and just weighs the lives of everyone else as worth more than his soul

But he does it and now he’s got a faithful and hellishly good steward in the form of demon!Jopson

Using his demon powers Jopson gets them out of trouble, saves everyone he can, and the expedition is completed and considered a major success

Crozier doesn’t regret the deal but he’s wary of asking demon!Jopson for more things + his own stubborn pride keeps him from asking for more personal things

He wants to earn promotions and higher social standing on his own merits, he wants Sophia Cracroft to love him on her own not because demon!Jopson has done something

So in the 10 years between the Antarctic Expedition and the Arctic Expedition demon!Jopson continues to fill in the steward/servant role (or maybe he just fucks off for a bit, hangs out in hell, makes other deals and just checks on with crozier like yearly idk how close you want to stick with the source materials)

But then we get to the Franklin Expedition

Things play out as expected and even through Crozier is frustrated with Sir John he won’t ask demon!Jopson to intervene

Then the Tunbac appears

We lose Lt. Gore and the others including Sir John

Maybe demon!Jopson knows what’s going on maybe he doesn’t - depends how much you want to play around with the theologies

But I’m imagining we still stick pretty close to the events of the show, lots of misunderstandings and denial of what’s going on

Then we get to the confrontation between Crozier and Fitzjames over the rum

I’m imagining Crozier has rationalized his drinking a lot here because he’s already sold his soul so what does it matter

But after the confrontation he realizes he needs to sober up

Demon!Jopson offers to cure him or at least ease the way but Crozier declines just like he did earlier because it matters to him that he does this the hard way

I think once we hit Carnival is when we can really start diverging from the main plot

Stanley still lights it up but since Crozier will always do his best for the men he finally ask demon!Jopson for help so more men make it out including Macdonald because Goodsir deserves the support for all the medical things

Maybe Hickey still stabs him in his one good deed but demon!Jopson is able to save him and seeing the doctor walking around fine alerts Hickey that there’s something else going on than just the Tunbac

They start the long walk but Crozier asks demon!Jopson for help to save everyone so demon!Jopson ensure that they are rescued (either by Ross or by the Inuits)

That’s the basics at least but here are a couple extra thoughts that may or may not fit together

During their time interrogating Silna about the Tunbac or maybe during an additional scene, Silna reveals she knows Jopson is a demon and in turn this reveals it to some of the other command crew members

Crozier still field promotes Jopson and the demon has no idea why or what to do because he’s not actually a part of the Navy but it still means so much to him

Jopson was originally human and saw his mother through her own addiction, she nearly died when she tried to get sober and Jopson sold his soul to ensure her survival (this happened a century or more ago so he’s had time to work his way up to being a moderately powerful demon in his own right); he still tells this story to Crozier

Demon!Jopson immediately knows something is up with Hickey because he can sense how dark his soul is, he keeps an eye out from afar but doesn’t interfere because he figures it’s not really his business unless Crozier says something or if Hickey comes at Crozier

Maybe he senses Hickeys intentions or gets some kind of spiritual heads up, but Jopson follows the hunting party and keeps Hickey from killing Lt Irving (imagine Irving having to come to terms with the fact that a demon saved his life)

For big things like a rescue Jopson can’t make them happen instantly so he uses up a lot of his own power to keep the men healthy enough to keep going so he looks just as affected by scurvy and starvation as the rest of them (is he taking on the symptoms, does his deterioration just coincidently look similar, or do the men just assume he’s suffering the same illnesses as them because they don’t know differently)

And that’s really all it got for this idea!

Again if it already exists send me the link please

If you are inspired in anyway by this please feel free to write or draw or do whatever with it and then send me the links

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

putting the google translate version of the Sa and Vita convo here bc the official translation is a bit confusing

Moriarty: Haha, hahahaha! Moriarty: What a great show! Moriarty: How does it feel to lose all your efforts? Got bitten by your own dog! Moriarty: Hey, you don't have a talent for comedy, do you? Sa: ... Moriarty: That last blow from the sky looked really painful! Didn't anyone ever tell you not to mess with the wrong people? Moriarty: Haha, I feel really good! I haven’t watched such an interesting show for a long time. Moriarty: It is countless times more exciting than the version I originally conceived! Sa: ... Moriarty: Oh? You're just going to roll up your tail and run away? Moriarty: Well, given the nature of your “parasitic plant”, Moriarty: if you curl up your roots and hide in the depths of the Sea of Quanta for a few tens of thousands of years, you'll be able to make a comeback sooner or later. Moriarty: Only a human being would let his own damn pride get in the way and miss a chance to make a comeback... Moriarty: ...Hmm? Vita: I'm sorry to interrupt your pleasant conversation. Vita: How do you do, our Creator God? Vita: Oh, I forgot. We just saw each other. Sa: ... Vita: What, are you surprised to see me here? Vita: That unconvincing fake death performance earlier shouldn't be able to deceive your all-knowing and omnipotent "eyes", right? Vita: Or is that eye, as I suspected, not protecting against the presence of the “Ark”? Sa: ... Sa: ...Authority. Moriarty: Oh! So you can talk. Vita: That's right. Like the fly buzzing around you, I used the disguise of an Ark administrator to get past your guards and find you. Moriarty: You're all fighting amongst yourselves, but still don't forget to slander me? What a touching mother-daughter bond. Vita: If you had been able to put away a little bit of your arrogance and pay the minimum attention to this fly, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to come here in person—— Vita: ...to receive all your authority.

Sa: ... Moriarty: Haha, that's an unexpected twist! I didn't realize there was a hidden secret at the end of the show! Moriarty: It’s worth my while that I took the big gamble to come here so that I can enjoy this masterpiece in the upper class seats. Vita: Sigh... You pushy guy, do you really know what you are talking about? Vita: Most of your data has been shattered by that pillar of light, and the remnants left here will soon disperse on their own. Paying so much just to see a show? Moriarty: Of course, Miss Agent. I've never been so calm, so satisfied. What better feeling is there than to witness the end of a revenge drama? Moriarty: I'd give anything for fun... even if it didn't do me any good. Vita: ...Your comment reminds me of someone. Vita: Coincidentally, when I was "hitchhiking" with Fu Hua, I happened to catch a glimpse of a memory related to him and the self-satisfying ending. Vita: He was a world leader, but he only gambled with everyone's life; and in the end, he exchanged his own demise for a wishful "self-revenge". ..... Vita: Do you think this is called "different paths leading to the same destination", backup of "Otto Apocalypse"? Moriarty: Sincere thanks to you, Miss Agent, for bringing me useless information. I'd say you and “Sa” are cut from the same cloth. Vita: I have surpassed her.. The fact that I am here is the best proof, isn't it? I'll never make the same mistake as She did, and I'll go after true freedom. Sa: Freedom… is this what you really want? Or is it just because… you ask for it but don’t get it? Sa: The so-called “freedom” and “nothingness” are synonymous words. Vita: What about you? You have swollen so much that you can hardly move, have you really gained any “reality”? Sa: …Purusha, is me. Moriarty: Hahaha, is that why you sank into the “sea” in the first place? Moriarty: You have all-knowing and all-powerful eyes, but you can't even see yourself clearly. Haha! Our great Creator God is actually a blind god! Sa: Gods are blind in sight... Sa: Mortals are blind in the heart. Vita: Oh, you are quite confident when you say that—— Vita: Why don't you use these against the enemy with the “Eighth Sense”? Vita: He's your arch-enemy, isn't he? Sa: Mortals aren’t enemies. Sa: Just a pebble in the road. Vita: ... Vita: Well, congratulations. After all, your feet, it seems, are bleeding on these pebbles? Sa: ...That has nothing to do with them. Vita: But it’s about me. Sa: … Sa: [Agent], you are not an ordinary person. You have exceeded the limits of [expansion]. Moriarty: Oh, How to say it, how to say it? It turns out you will also become a rotten machine like her in the future? Moriarty: That’s a really rotten future, hahahaha! Sa: …the only freedom of god is also the only nothingness of mortals. Sa: The world is my representation, and the world is my will. Sa: The so-called “Godhood”... God was born because of me, and I died because of God. Vita: I think this sentence should be said the other way around. Vita: [I live because of God, and God dies because of me.] Vita: Do you suddenly feel better? Moriarty: What a pity! My God did not die because of me! Moriarty: Oh, no, wait. My “God” is already you all? Moriarty: A good death, a wonderful death! It’s a pity I can’t stick a cross in you all! Sa: …getting carried away. Ignorance is indeed the greatest sin of mortals. Sa: No mortal has ever killed a god. Sa: Only [Gods] can.

Sa: [Agent]... Sa: One day, you will also find your own executioner. Moriarty: Oh, oh! It seems that compared to ordinary people like us, gods like you are better at bringing disaster to yourself? Moriarty: Okay, okay, that just means that a mediocre person is just a mediocre person after all! Moriarty: Look at me… take a good look at your [exhibit]... Moriarty: Is there anything more ironic to you two than me being able to sit on this special seat? Vita: There’s no need for a king to kill his own court jester, right? Vita: Anyone can feel like the other person is an idiot on the inside… Do you think that’s important? Sa: There are no [idiots] here. Sa: The three wills that exist here have lost their own value from the beginning. Sa: They try to compensate, they try to ignore. They will only continue to expand… until they become ugly remains. Vita: Thank you for your advice, [Sa]. But what I am and what I want will all be decided by myself. Vita: I will do better than you, of course. It’s a pity that you can never imagine it if you are trapped in the [Sea]. Sa: … Sa: That’s really worth looking forward to. Vita: Yes, worth looking forward to. Vita: Us gods looking forward to our deaths is also very romantic, isn't it?  Vita: ...That's the only emotion you have left. Moriarty: Oh? It seems that this is the end? Moriarty: I have to say that as my second ending, there is nothing more satisfying than this. Moriarty: Although you are my enemy, you are the initiator who interrupted my grand finale and brought great shame to me... Moriarty: I still pay you the highest respect, Miss "Vita". Moriarty: The way we exist is somewhat similar - it's like fate has played a nasty trick and we spend our lives trying to get out of this shadow. Moriarty: We are not the real body, but we have made achievements far beyond the real body. This is the proof of our existence in the world and our unique mark. Moriarty: If we hadn't met in this way, we would definitely have become very good friends... or destined rivals. Vita: …maybe. You are truly my most troublesome exhibit, "Moriarty." Moriarty: Ha! I would take that as the highest compliment. Vita: Indeed. So… Vita: Farewell, [nothingness]. Vita: I will accept those [Eyes of Bodhi]. [Who are you digging a grave for? Is it for a Phosphorus person?] [It's not for a Phosphorus person, miss.] [So, is it for the Purusha person?] [Not for a Purusha person either.] [Not a person of Phosphorus nor a person of Purusha - then who is buried here?] [Miss, she was originally a Purusha person, but she was already gone.] Vita: The so-called [Gods]... Vita: ...are truly [interesting].

[hellsingmongrel]

Trimax and possible Tristamp spoilers?

I’ve been thinking about the way they incorporated Meryl into the JuLai storyline in Stampede, and I’m beginning to wonder if that was their way of getting JuLai and Meryl’s kidnapping from Trimax out in one shot.  It has similar storybeats, including her finally seeing Vash going full Eldritch Angel when he rescues her.

I’m honestly not really sure how I feel about that, if it is what they’re doing.  I mean it makes sense, in that it will be helping condense the story down so that they can fit the important storybeats into the show, but in doing so, they would be losing the really fascinating character growth we saw between the two of them in the manga.  That event was a huge deal for Meryl, it absolutely terrified her and she was scared of him for a long time.  It was a whole subplot that wasn’t verbally addressed much by the two of them, but was absolutely shown in their interactions and the way she went from terrified, feeling guilty about that terror, and finally being able to overcome it and be there for him when he needed her support the most.  It was just so.  Good.  It helped show that while the reader might see his transformations and be like “Oh man, that looks cool!” it was actually legitimately horrifying for everyone involved, even those who were closest to him.

His transformations are scary, he doesn’t like it, Meryl doesn’t like it, Wolfwood doesn’t like it.  Nobody knows how to deal with it when it happens.  It’s a whole thing, so many people, Vash included, are just terrified of that power and what he’s capable of and how inhuman he looks and sometimes acts when he’s completely lost in his own head.  It’s an important part of the message of learning to accept yourself and live with yourself regardless of your failings, and of not judging people by what they appear to be, but instead to measure their worth by their actions, instead.  Learning to love those around you, learning to forgive yourself, etc.

IDK.  I can see where they would want to take this shortcut, and I’ve loved pretty much everything else they’ve done with the show, so I want to give them the benefit of the doubt and say they’ll handle it well.  I just think we’d be losing an important element of the story if they reduced the tension that existed between them because of Meryl’s trauma to the way the events in JuLai went down in episodes 10-12.  I think it could have an even better impact in Stampede, even, if they did have that tension now, because until now, she’s only ever seen him be soft spoken, sweet, gentle, only raising a hand to harm others when he absolutely had to and absolutely never losing control or killing someone.  He’s so much softer than Vash is when we first encounter him in Trimax, so to have him go from that extremely gentle soul to someone who’s so lost, has so much power, and is pushed so far over the edge that he’s reduced to this:

And at the same time, when he shields her with his wings earlier in this event, there’s a moment when she’s linked into his mind and seeing his memories.  I feel like that’s something that’s important, too, and damn if it didn’t take me rereading through the manga to find that page to realize what had happened.  (Though tbf, a lot of the action in the series is like that; you have to interpret the visuals, it doesn’t hold your hand and narrate what’s going on, so sometimes it takes multiple, multiple rereadings to figure out what exactly you’re seeing.  It’s both good and bad, tbh.  Nightow is showing the reader a lot of respect in expecting them to not need to be told what is happening, but there are still some times when a little tiny bit of direction might have been useful.  :’D)

All of that, plus just giving the viewer their first glimpse into the fact that even when he’s not being controlled by his brother, Vash can still go full Plant mode, can absolutely lose control and become a being that is a threat to everyone around him unless he manages to regain his senses, would be a very, very important scene to lose.  So honestly, I really hope they don’t condense the story the way it seems they might have, or that they find a way of showing these important beats in another way.  Vash’s Big Badass Moment in episode 12 was fuckin’ amazing, don’t get me wrong!  I was screaming and cheering him on from my couch the entire episode!  But it’s not the full story and there’s a lot that would be lost if that was all they took from this part of the story in Trimax.

[anxso]

@ygoc-week Day 4 - Relationships

YU-GI-OH! 5D’S — RAIN ORICHALCUM

Sure we have the Kalin endgame but we NEED to discuss the Primo smooch and the Carly flirting. Rain and Carly both are bi disasters. (I guess I write everyone as bi disasters BUT ANYWAY)

Rain and Kalin meet during the Team Satisfaction days, and she ends up joining the team after Jack challenges her and the duel ends in a tie (yes he is furious about the outcome). With proof she can hold her own in a duel, there's no opposition to her becoming a member. She met Kalin first, who brought her to the team as a stop off--he mainly wanted to bring her to Martha for help since Rain is a hopelessly lost amnesiac. She naturally latches onto him since he was the first person she saw, and she sees him as a leader she will follow no matter what is asked of her. FOR EXAMPLE (excerpt)

---------------

            Before I could speak, a crash threw me off my feet. Rough voices shouted, “They’re in here!”

            Securities flooded the large hall. The man leading the charge adjusted his yellow scarf as he stepped forth. His moustache wriggled when he spoke. “Well, well, well. We’ve finally cornered the famous Team Satisfaction! A couple of you, that is. If you know what’s good for you, you won’t resist.”

            Kalin and I stood back to back. I ducked my head to peek at him. It was the first time I had ever seen him afraid. “I swear I covered my tracks. I swear… dammit. The team, my deck, everything, I’ll lose everything if-”

            He noticed me watching. Kalin whispered, “It’s alright, Rain. We have to go with them, or else-”

            I removed my deck from its slot, sifted through the contents, and held out a spell card: Rage with Eyes of Blue. Crimson streamed upward from my feet. Three red pillars formed among the Securities.

            The ruby crumbled to unveil three Blue-Eyes White Dragons in a triangle formation. The glow of their azure eyes cut through scarlet. The trio roared in unison. Translucent red like crimson ghosts crawled from the dragons’ feet. The red washed outward. The ghoulish energy crashed over the Securities in a tsunami.

            The Securities dropped like flies. The dragons faded, and the red dispersed. My knees buckled. My deck splattered on the floor. I tried to move my limbs, but they wouldn’t work.

            Kalin flipped around once, twice to search the premises. There were no signs of movement in the massive building. He said, “What- what did you do?”

            My hands had landed in my lap. I tried to ball my fists, twitch my fingers, anything. No luck. I murmured, “Rage knocked them out.”

            He clutched his forehead. “I thought you killed them.”

            “Would you like me to?”

            A weighty breath racked his shoulders. His expression showed nothing less than horror. “No. No, Rain, never do something like that.”

            “I thought that’s why you brought me.” I dipped my chin so my bangs shadowed my eyes. “You said leverage is important. Didn’t you ask me along because my powers give you that?”

            He fell to his knees and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Listen. I asked you to partner with me because I wanted to spend more time with you. Now that they know about your powers, you…”

            “I messed up,” I murmured.

            “Nah, just- promise you’ll use those powers as little as possible, okay? I know I got a little ahead of myself earlier, but we’re not trying to scare or kill anybody.”

            My throat tightened. I stared at my knees. My fingers moved this time. I bunched up my baggy pants in my tight grip. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes. I whimpered, “I’m s-sorry.”

            “Are you crying? Soft or scary, you gotta pick one!”

            The tears streamed down my cheeks. I peered up at him through the slices in my bangs, expecting anger, but he showed panic. I hiccupped and asked, “I’m s-scary?”

            He quickly said, “What? No! Who said that?”

            “Kalin, I, I asked what I did earlier because I thought it’s what you wanted.”

            “Why would that matter?”

            “I just want to be useful.”

            Kalin grimaced and rubbed at the back of his neck. He gathered up the scattered cards of my fallen deck, grasped my wrist, and placed the deck onto my palm. “You’re fine. You did bail us out, but, Rain. You’re already an incredible duelist. You’re useful just being yourself. You don’t need the powers or any other shit, got it?”

            The last of the tears sprinkled the burnt ground. I swiped my knuckle beneath my eyes and swallowed a deep breath. “Got it.”

---------------

Kalin very much pushes for her to be her own person. TS takes over the Satellite but Kalin works ceaselessly and his paranoia worsens. Jack and Crow both leave the team, and Kalin kicks Rain out of it. She's totally heartbroken until Yusei finds her and convinces her he's lying to her and not being himself at allll. End result is, Kalin does the whole canon bombing Security and is on the verge of arrest until Rain crashes her D-Wheel into them and allows him a chance to escape. She gets arrested instead, he is apprehended a few days later, they end up in the same Facility cell in the City's stronghold of a jail. Kalin grows weaker and eventually dies--his body disappears, ominously, and the same night a huge red dragon flies into Rain

She breaks out of the Facility but barely manages to keep upright through her grief along with having to keep out of sight as a fugitive. She ends up in the Arcadia Movement, reunites with the Signers when it falls, and they learn about the Dark Signers

After flying to the Satellite, their first night has Yusei VS a Dark Signer, and Rain runs to help after Yusei crashes

---------------

            My pulse skyrocketed. The way my name rolled off his tongue should only exist in my memories. He threw down his hood, and horror paralyzed me. I attempted to utter my partner’s name but the words couldn’t find air. Drowning would be no different. Kalin’s eyes were solid black outside the hazel iris, and the glyph I had seen in the night shone purple on his arm. Dark red stained the criminal mark lining the left side of his face. Kalin rushed forward and pulled me against him. My cheek pressed against his chest, and-

            His heart beat.

            “Rain, I’m so glad you’re okay!”

            The months I’d spent miserable, lonely, mourning – he’d been alive the whole time. I shoved him off and he stumbled backwards, looking confused and hurt. I yelled, “You think you can just show up and act like everything’s fine?”

            Sadness laced into his distressed plea. “Why’re you acting like this?”

            “Y-You’re a Dark Signer. I know what that means. You’re here to kill Yusei!”

            “Oh. You know about…” He ran his hand through his hair. The ordinary gesture struck me with how wrong everything about the moment was. It was really him, my partner, but no, it wasn’t. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to be like this. I went to the ends of the earth trying to find you. I really did. You have no idea.”

            “Is that supposed to matter?” I shrieked. “You want my friend dead!”

            Kalin shook his head. “He only acts like your friend. He’s the reason you ended up in the Facility – in the City at all and went through that shit.”

            “No.” The word rode on my exhale. “No, that was my decision to save you. I can see now that was a mistake.”

            The wince I earned ordinarily would have shattered me. The sting of betrayal smothered my empathy. Kalin reached for me and said, “Look, partner, I can explain-”

            I slapped his hand away and snapped, “Don’t call me that. My real partner died.”

            I couldn’t hold his stare or keep up my volume when I next spoke.

            “And should have stayed that way.”

            I turned my back on the stranger. My shoulders shook. My anger slipped away like grains of sand in the wind. As I ran away from Kalin, my tears shone silver in the moonlight.

---------------

The Signers doubt her bc of how Kalin talked about her, Rain runs away to the hideout where he finds her and we get a fun moment of mild spice :') and Rain swears she's gonna be the one to beat him

They fight in a turbo duel! Blood is drawn, both of them fighting to save the other (in concept, Kalin winning means Rain becomes a Dark Signer and survives the apocalypse, Rain winning means she can steal his dark sign thanks to the Crimson Dragon and he will return to life)

And we get ALL THE ANGST because Kalin fiiinally tells the truth, that he did the big bombing because Security saw Rain as public enemy #1 (all Satellite psychics are locked up forever) and Kalin had a goal of becoming worse in their eyes so they would forget about hunting her down. Then in the Facility, they only gave them barely enough food for one person so he gave it all to her

Then a sobbing Rain wins and takes the dark sign of Ccapac Apu woooo :o) Crimson Dragon vessel now also a Dark Signer what could possibly go wrong? (ominous note plays)

Rain's memories return because she's literally a trap Roman/Uru used against the Signers; she is half-Duel Monster who hates humanity and chooses not to seal the Reactor and so the King of the Underworld rises

Kalin finds her anyway, breaks through to her and sees her as the person in the Satellite who talked to Martha's flowers rather than the individual who slaughtered hundreds in the Seal of Orichalcos to summon the Great Leviathan in original Atlantis thousands of years ago (real)

Both partners agree that, despite the terrible things they've done, they swear to live on together and earn back their place in the world by doing good

A friend named them darkbondshipping because Yusei gets a nice line when Roman is shocked Kalin and Rain connect despite everything; he says "There are bonds in darkness as there are in light"

AND they do and she beats Godwin and yay woo then bc of all the dang damage she's taken from a crash VS Kalin and etc. she falls comatose for five months. NOW WE GET SEASON 2 and CRASH TOWN and btw Ccapac Apu the Earthbound Immortal is still around since Rain still has the dark sign, and it decides to curse everybody in New Domino to forget Rain ever existed, including Kalin

He wakes up in her hospital room HOLDING HER HAND having no clue who tf this person is and, having forgotten their promise to live on, heads on out to Crash Town to die

I've already gone into a lot, but yesss angsty reunion where one side has lost memories and a very angry Rain (she changes a lot when she's no longer an amnesiac) NOT LETTING HIM DIE. Just a couple of murderers holding hands n junk.

---------------

            Rain said, “Well, when I became wrapped up in my own anger and want for revenge, I kind of lost those things about myself. It’s like my hobbies were replaced by counting the scars other people gave me.

            “So I was wondering about you. Seems like you still like dueling. After it rains, do you think you’d still run through the puddles and laugh? Would you still enjoy playing pranks on your friends? Does it still give you joy to help and protect people? Or did it all go away when you became a Dark Signer?”

            I couldn’t breathe. My eyes refused to focus, and the blood roaring in my ears drowned out my own thoughts.

            “It’s okay.” Her voice sounded distant and detached. “You don’t have to be afraid.”

            “You know.”

            “Yeah. I know your whole ‘story.’ While I haven’t said your haunting words, they’re true. You’re not suffering alone, I’m right here with you, and- I don’t have much belief left, but you can have it all.”

            My vision sharpened on her blue eyes. Apathy defined them. “How- why? If you know what I’ve done, you have to understand what I deserve!”

            “When we first talked here, you only wanted to ask if I was okay. You-”

            She gasped and clutched at her midsection. I observed her shaking hand and said, “You were in a riding duel accident five months ago, which was when… Rain, you were a part of the war, weren’t you? It wasn’t just some crash. You dueled a Dark Signer!”

            She tucked her hands into their opposite elbows. “Yeah. Devack.”

            My pulse quickened. “Devack didn’t use a runner.”

            Her eyes thinned the slightest amount. The laugh that escaped her gave me chills. “Okay. Alright, Kalin.”

            Rain’s gaze fell onto me and within burned something I hadn’t seen in her before but recognized. The necklace at her throat seemed to glow. “You stole five months of my life away. You nearly killed me. It’s your fault everyone forgot me, and I see you in my nightmares.”

            Each word constricted my lungs further. It couldn’t be the truth. I never dueled her. But she was telling the truth, her truth. The way she looked in the hospital was so… broken, and I did that?

            She shot to her feet and gripped my collar. The unfettered fury in her expression was as familiar to me as the mark on my face. “You’re right. I’ve kept you alive all this time because you owe me.”

            That look.

            That look – the cold rage it conveyed told me she was here for her revenge on me. Her hold on me tightened. Rain leaned over me; I braced myself. She tugged me closer, and-

            She kissed me. Every ounce of my tension eased, my heartbeat slowing to a steady thrum matching hers. She backed off slowly and brushed back the hair in my face. “You won’t die, not as long as I’m around.”

            No, I had to for what I did, and especially if I really did that to her – See? I, I wanted… damn her lips were soft, and what was that warmth, like nothing was wrong in the world? No, oh, goddammit- I was such a-

            Rain brushed past me and tied on her gun belt. She withdrew a card from her deck, and a green, alien monster materialized beside her. It kicked the door into splinters. Night air spilled into the room. I opened my mouth to say something, but my brain was still trying to process what had happened? And that- she could have left the whole time, but she didn’t?

            She stopped at the doorframe and glanced back. “I know your little liar game, Kalin. I said my partner died, but I didn’t say he was dead.”

            Then she was gone, one with the starlight and darkness. The tremble of my hands hadn’t left with her.

---------------

There is all the wild stuff in S2 with androids and dragons and eldritch floating castles oh my. They stay mostly strong thru it, him being very tender in learning about her fear from her past SA, her dealing with lingering anger issues and learning from his newfound pacifism (which he sticks to quite admirably considering Primo exists), them both working thru depression and finding confidence in themselves and each other. BUT, Kalin is both a workaholic and a compulsive liar, and this results in a temporary breakup since Rain has a lot of trust issue related trauma. Then he gets a nice haircut and is the only one who knows her birthday and rents out an entire planetarium show for just them, and wouldn't ya know it, they get back together :3c

The story essentially serves as a double redemption arc for Rain and Kalin, who both in a sense grow to the point where they face the worse version of themselves--who they once were or very well could have become--recoil in horror and have to come out in top. In a children's CARD GAME WOOO-

They are very much bound together in feeling like outcasts, going too far in taking out their sense of justice(Kalin to Security/Yusei/the world, Rain to all humans because of those who treated her poorly), both suffer from tunnel vision, both clinging to each other while battling mental illness. By the end of the story, he's the standoffish intimidating cowboy and she's the bubbly one excited to make friends with EVERYONE

(Rain dyes her hair black bc trauma, Primo chooses the butler appearance she complimented ONE TIME after she furiously destroys his old body with a dang sword, they are so in hate with each other, IM NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT)

Primo/Rain happened accidentally ok. I WANTED TO MAKE A FOIL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL VILLAIN AND THEN THEY FELL IN LOVE BECAUSE THEY HAD SO MUCH IN COMMON? Both fish out of water, him from the desolate future and her from the ancient past; both have experience losing total faith in humanity; and both have survived through the loss of a partner.

He starts out straight out HATING her. She's annoying and frustrating and disrespectful. She hates him right back since their first meeting, he kidnaps her and essentially brainwashes her to test the Signers' dueling skills, AND ON TOP OF THAT HE'S A SECTOR SECURITY DIRECTOR

They have very strong feuds and threaten each other every second breath. Then he shows flashes of a protective streak, like when the City mobs want Rain thrown out of the WRGP and he publicly stands up and says the WRGP welcomes all backgrounds whether someone is a psychic, Satellite, etc. She catches moments of his feeling so lost and out of place and hopeless for the future and wants to be his hope

Ah yes, and because of plot reasons both Antinomy/Bruno and Antithesis/Misaki make attempts on Rain's life, and Z-ONE has given the directive for Primo to protect whoever the androids target. He doesn't know it at first but finds out he has a duty to protect this woman he hates :DD

He devises a manipulative plan to make Rain distrust the Signers and her partner, and it WORKS so she joins Team New World and trusts Primo enough to call on him if she's in danger from the androids

HOW does his plan work?

---------------

            “I can explain everything,” I said. “Unfortunately for you Signers, you have been duped. Rain Orichalcum is destined to be your inherent enemy. I’ll show you why.”

            Rain turned to me with apprehension. “Wh-what do you…”

            I pulled her beloved Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon from my pocket and held it sideways. “Show your dark sign or I will destroy the card.”

            “No,” she whimpered. “No, please, don’t-”

            My fingers twitched. She reached forward with her right arm. The violet shine of the Giant’s symbol lit up her forearm. Her eyes shifted to black. Red filled her criminal mark like a bloody scar.

            Akiza Izinski’s hands flew to cover her mouth. Yusei Fudo was stiff with shock. Jack Atlas bellowed nonsense in rage. Crow Hogan was the one to shout the facts. “Rain’s- you’re a Dark Signer!”

            “It all makes sense,” Yusei said. “You worked with Kalin, and you still have a grudge for him. You’ve been plotting against us from the second you met us.”

            “No. No, please, I just wanted-” Rain fell to her knees. “I just wanted to save him. That’s all I wanted. You weren’t supposed to forget me. It wasn’t supposed to end this way. I just wanted him to live.”

            I crawled forward and whispered, “See, Rain? A selfish world punishes selfless actions. But… the world can always change.”

            “What are you two whispering about?” Crow asked.

            “Isn’t it obvious?” Jack exclaimed. “They’ve been working together the entire time! The kidnapping was a ploy!”

            “Please say it’s not true,” Akiza said.

            “It’s not, it’s not!” Tears ran over Rain’s crimson criminal mark. She looked to me with desperation in her dark eyes and whimpered, “Why did you do this to me?”

            I said, “Because I-”

            My vision was flickering. The fluids running out of my wound would soon run dry, and I would shut off. I muttered, “I love you, Rain Orichalcum.”

            Her dark eyes widened. Amidst her surprise, I wrapped my arms around her neck, pulled her towards me, and pressed my lips to hers. The last of my life force leaked away. My final moment was encapsulated by an incredible warmth, sensation of happiness, and intense closeness I swore I’d never know again. There was a problem, an error, a flaw in the plan.

            Because my last words spoken were meant to be a lie.

            It was supposed to be a lie

-static-

---------------

They are a TOTAL mess but idc they're so entertaining in their banter that I still love to write one shots with them. They connect in hopelessness and grow hopeful side-by-side by him finding the beauty in the world through her seeing the wonder in it, and her showing him he can trust his own actions whether than leave it all up to Z-ONE, affecting him so much he admits the name he shouldn't to her and she calls him by it as he requests: Aporia

APORAIN APORAIN <3

Because of their relationship, Aporia goes from ends justify the means to growing empathy. He can believe his existence in current era will shift to a different timeline and bright future and doesn't have to do the Ark Cradle and all

then Z-ONE (alternate character here, a terrifying antagonist with a hidden identity) ruins it all.

WELL, I have talked much about my two favorite ships. If you read all the rambles and excerpts, tysm! All the characters mean a whole lot to me

(Reminder I'm just a writer - all artist credits in the alt text!)

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

Dick & Rachel and the Invisible String theory (part 2)

Welcome to part 2! In part 1 we've covered season 1, now it's time for the second season!

And we're starting right from episode 2x01 "Trigon".

Here we have another instance of the pattern I've previously mentioned — Rachel breaks Trigon's control over Dick by entering his subconscious and reminding him of who he is and their promise.

This is the first time Rachel is doing it consciously — she's basically pulling at the String by herself. She takes full control of the situation, figures out that if the dream she had about Dick before led her to him, then she can now use that dream to save him. "It's all in the dreams," as she says. When she enters the vision Dick is trapped in and sees him, standing over Bruce's body and overcome by darkness, she reminds him that this isn't who he is, that he would never do something like this, that this is just Trigon playing on his fears. She also tells Dick about her dream — which I find really interesting that this is the first time he hears about it; clearly he's been so preoccupied with keeping her safe that it slipped his mind to ask how exactly did she know the stuff she knew in the pilot. At the question of what she is doing here, she replies that she's here to save him because "We're supposed to save each other". Supposed to, like it's a given. Like it's written in the stars or something and she knows. Even when he attacks her, she's not afraid, but grabs at his hand wrapped around her neck and then transports them both right into the heart of the dream that started it all.

And she takes a scary but brilliant risk — knowing that one of Dick's worst fears is having to watch someone he loves fall and lose them just like he had lost his parents, she puts herself in this exact situation to cause an instinctual reaction. This is all happening in his head but the risk isn't any smaller: if she dies here, she dies for real. She pulls the String tight, almost to the point of snapping, knowing that if Dick is still in there, he's not going to let it happen.

She almost hits the ground. We're led to believe her plan is about to fail. But then Dick grabs the String's other end, wakes up and catches her.

This is monumental for so many reasons. Dick had always believed he failed his parents because he failed to catch them. The show puts great emphasis on the shot of his hand missing his mother's hand by an inch. The burning need to not let this happen again, to not lose another person this way, is what allows him to snap out of Trigon's control and save Rachel. What he had failed to do before, he succeeds in now — and Rachel never doubted for a second that he would. From her side, she displays a truly bottomless amount of trust, she's not afraid to fall because in her head, an option where Dick's doesn't catch her simply doesn't exist. Her faith in him is really never-ending.

Now what I want to talk about is a little theory within a theory, because I've noticed another... well, maybe not a pattern, but an occurrence that feels like an action-reaction type of thing. The String grows stronger not only as the time goes by and they become closer but also every time it's close to being broken (by one of them dying for example), and it seems to come back stronger than before. Which in this episode really happens twice.

Inside Dick's mind, when Rachel jumps off the platform and lets go of the swing to fall. But also earlier, here:

Trigon rips out Rachel's heart to create the gemstone, which is an action that should technically kill her. It kind of does for a moment before the gem is placed in her forehead and revives her. It unlocks a new level of her powers and gives her access to abilities she never had before. But it also gives the String a new layer, making it stronger. All of this combined allows her to take control of the situation once inside Dick's mind and use their connection to bring him back.

There's also another reason I'm mentioning this moment, but I'll come back to it in season 3 😉

These next two moments are most definitely a stretch, they can 100% pass off as coincidences — but it's more fun to think of them as clues. The first one had been on my radar for a long time, I've been obsessing over it ever since I noticed it. And the second one was recently brought to my attention by @undertheknightwing and it made me connect some more dots.

Isn't it interesting how Dick sort of appears out of nowhere when Rachel is distressed/scared/in danger? How he seems to be gravitating towards her when it happens, as if he was able to sense it? Take episode 2x03 "Ghosts" for example.

Gar, Rachel and Jason are training. Rachel loses control over her powers (a common occurrence in season 2) and attacks Jason. Driven by his fear, Jason reacts and goes off on her, insulting her. We hear him say "Stay away from me, you fucking freak!" right as Dick walks into the room.

Now, he wasn't eavesdropping. He obviously didn't see what happened, otherwise he would have intervened. But he's close enough to hear the worst of it, just behind the wall.

I love how he plays it btw, like he doesn't know anything. All smiles, all casual, "ah just came here to get Gar, please go on". He asks if everything's okay but everyone keeps their mouths shut. Meanwhile Rachel and Jason are eyeing one another, trying to see if the other is gonna talk. Rachel keeps quiet because she doesn't want to bother Dick with her problems (which she confesses to Gar in 2x02). Jason doesn't bother to talk either, probably thinking Dick is going to take Rachel's side anyway, and instead, redirects Dick's attention to something different. And Dick lets them do this. Without the full context he doesn't want to jump to conclusions but later tries to get it out of Gar when they're alone. Gar, being the loyal best friend, lies through his teeth and obviously Dick doesn't buy a word, but he doesn't press either. And oh how I wish the rest of the episode was focused on Dick doing a little investigation and trying to crack this, having conversations with both Rachel and Jason but season 2 is a mess on wobbly wheels so let's leave this for a fic.

Then episode 2x05 "Deathstroke", similar thing. Jason's gone, he went after Doctor Light and was taken by Deathstroke. Gar comes to Rachel to tell her about it, but she's in the middle of another episode with her powers spinning out of control while in her sleep, and Gar gets accidentally hurt by them. Mere seconds before Dick randomly shows up in the doorframe and asks about Jason, apparently having overheard them talking about him from the hallway.

Again. Rachel's in distress, her powers out of control, someone gets hurt, Dick appears.

You see a coincidence. I see a pattern.

ANYWAY—

And now, in an unexpected turn of events, we move the rest of season 2 into a separate part because one post is not enough space to cover it all 🤣 click here to read the rest!

[myfairstarlight]

You have truly spoiled me today, gentle author, thank you so much for taking precious time to respond to my ask <3 You have put into words so many thoughts I've been having, jumbling around in my head, and much better than i ever could! I am grateful for you!

I agree with you on all counts, especially Colin's jealousy!! It's rather sad that it had to be relegated to the backburner in order to fit everything else, when them being writers was one of the ways they truly bonded in the book. And that Penelope was old hat and had something to teach him--as an accomplished writer herself-- which paralleled the fact that he could teach her about sexual intimacy, that was nice too.

If I may ramble some in your inbox a little longer, although I admittedly lean more towards enjoying the show than the books (not to say the books aren't also enjoyable, of course, its just a matter of preference), another thing that the books have over the show as a whole, in my humble opinion, is because they are so exclusively focused on their primary couple, we get so much more time and attention on them as both individual characters and a couple--apart, together, in a room full of people, just the two of them, etc.

The shows side plots can be a bit of a double-edged sword in that way. On one hand, it's nice to meet characters and see interactions we didnt have in the books--we got to know Penelope so much earlier as a result, for example, which I liked a lot. But, I feel some show subplots dont always make the most sense or are resolved in such a way that it's kind of like "what was the point?" As a result, we also lose time with our primary love match of the season, literally LOL

Both mediums certainly have their pros and cons, but I guess what I'm getting at overall is I'm so glad we get to have both ha!

Good night and sweet dreams, gentle author, thank you again for your kindness <3

Dearest anon, the pleasure has been mine!

What a lovely message to wake up to, thank you (let's ignore that I'm answering in the afternoon as I type this).

That is the main reason I always try to not compare books and show too much, or you just sign up for disappointment if you only care about the main couple.

I personally like that the show decided to make it an ensemble show, like you said it allowed us to be introduced to Penelope much earlier, and even other characters have already been introduced like Sir Philip who casual viewers won't think much of, but those who read the books get excited as they point to the screen. It allows us to see all the Bridgertons be a family as well, and see them grow and expand, as well as see new relationships the book would never explore (Penelope and Madame Delacroix come to mind, they were a delight this season! Gen is the only woman who understands what it means to have a business and not wanting to let it go, she is the only one who understands Penelope in that regard). Now the downside is that, with only 8 episodes per season, and such a large rooster of characters, there's only so much they can fit without things feeling overwhelming or rushed, and that's an issue all 3 seasons have in my opinion. I do feel like it could be easily fixed by having more episodes per season because it is clear they have a lot to tell, but oh well.

Bridgerton as a show is definitely more of a drama than a truly romance show in my eyes, especially with the way they used Lady Whistledown compared to the books where she did not have as much of a power, and with the addition of Queen Charlotte as a character. S3 challenged that a bit by introducing rom-com elements especially in part 1, but part 2 did show that it thrives with drama and tension as well. But the books are definitely a good addition for those who wish for more content focusing solely on the couples and their struggles. The show is adjacent-enough, but it took a lot of liberties. I suppose it depends on the individual to decide if that is a good or bad thing, personally, I like that it's so different (especially in how it portrays the men, actually, though I would still like to duel Show!Simon), you still get to be surprised, whether you start with the show or the book. I know people have been complaining about the lack of more polin scenes this season, but I fear that is just the standard Bridgerton formula, saphne and kanthony were not spared this issue either, and I fear the other couples will find the same fate. We can still complain though, we definitely did not need so many cuts back to Benedict having a threesome in e8.

Finally dear anon, if you ever wish to continue discussing even more on our mutual love for Colin and Penelope, know that my messages are open <3

[sirenjose]

Thoughts on Orfeo + the Orpheus Drug

1 reason Orpheus turns around is due to excessive emotions/love.

After Orpheus turns around in L’Orfeo, the chorus says: “Orpheus conquered Hades and then was conquered by his emotions. Worthy of eternal glory is the one who will have victory over himself.”

In the final Act, Apollo emphasizes this: “Too much you rejoiced in your happy fortune. Now too much do you mourn your bitter and hard fate.” Orpheus earlier did too: “What Pluto forbids, love commands”. Eurydice after Orpheus looks back says he lost her due to “excessive love”.

Apollo's lines are very similar to Orpheus' Orfeo card description.

It also feels vaguely similar to some of what is said and going on in Hollow's essence.

The other reason is doubt (that Eurydice is behind him, he's not being tricked) as Orpheus when leading Eurydice out says “who can assure me that she is following me” and later “Perhaps the enamored Furies are taking up arms... to snatch my treasure from me? And I allow it?"

His journey so far has been relatively easy. His gift has been very effective his whole life at persuading others. Orpheus confirms this: “What honor will be worthy of you, my all powerful lyre, since you have succeeded in softening every stubborn heart in the realm of Tartarus”.

Hades gave in to Orpheus’ pleading due to a combination of Persephone’s begging (she basically says if you love me, you’d do this for me) as well as Orpheus’ singing, but he warns Persephone “stern and unyielding fate may oppose your wishes”.

Later she thanks him, and he basically confirms he (Hades) did this in part for her, as he says “Let not your soul become so desirous of heavenly delight that you abandon the marriage bed” (aka don’t leave me).

This is a story that happens at a time when requesting blessings/favors from gods required some kind of sacrifice, so Hades saying to Orpheus that he could only have Eurydice if he doesn’t look back wouldn’t been understandable for that time period.

This could also have been Hades way of bending the rules to allow Orpheus' request. The earth is jointly controlled between the gods. Hades domain extends to everything underground. The rules of the underworld would be strongest until Eurydice was in the sunlight.

Orpheus’ gaze would bring attention to his breach of the natural order. Hades could turn a blind eye as Orpheus led her up into daylight, but once he could no longer pretend to not notice when Orpheus looked back, Hades had to do his job and retrieve Eurydice’s ghost.

When souls died, their memories were erased by the river Lethe (they were reborn but forgot their past life). Eurydice was dead, but Orpheus wanted her to return with her memory intact, which was a problem.

Apollo talks about Orpheus giving in to “anger and grief”, being a “slave to his passions”, and being “overcome by blame and danger”. This fits with Orpheus as we see him in his Hollow essence (and especially in the essence trailer).

The lesson from the myth includes this: By looking back, you lose sight of what’s important. Like if a driver or runner in a race looks back, that action could cost them the win (and it has happened before).

Like in the myth, Orpheus believes Hades (Norton) is tricking him, that Eurydice (Alice) isn’t really with him, which is part of the reason why he looks back. Orpheus is focused on the past, seeing shades/the past (Memory) rather than the real/present (Alice).

Orpheus doubts. He believes he’s being tricked, that Norton is taking Alice from him, but in the end, in L’Orfeo, there was no trick. Eurydice was really there. But by doubting and believing he was being tricked, and due to his focus on the past, he lost her forever.

---

Speaking of Orpheus and the myth:

Orpheus drug: causes "coma"

Likely what Orpheus used to "fake" his death (+ Kevin's and William's)

Orpheus & Eurydice myth: Eurydice is dead.

Orpheus goes into the Underworld to bring her back (though he fails). It's just like the drug. Death -> Life Coma/Fake Death -> Awake/Alive

The symbol is a lyre, used in the myth to bypass Cerberus and Charon, and convince Persephone and Hades to let him take Eurydice. In the myth, Orpheus was a talented musician. That's why only a small amount is needed, why to "avoid overdose". Similarly, the drug "subdues" people