#we don't all need the same outlook.... we don't all need to feel the same things in order to be good people

[angst-and-fajitas]

I think loveless aros deserve a thousand dollars for every time someone claims that love is the meaning of everything or love makes us human etc etc

"by love we mean all forms of love, including nonromantic!!1!" You clearly Do Not understand. Return to start, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

There is no center of the universe, there is no unified meaning of everything, and there is no social or biological trait that "makes us human" besides the literal being humans thing, and any attempt to assert otherwise will other and alienate more people. There is no one emotion that you need to feel in order to be a good person or even a person at all

[doberbutts]

I remember reading a post that men are the oppressor class so why would they bother to dismantle systemic patriarchy when they actively benefit from its existence? And as I read it, I thought, Damn, so an entire half of the population can never conceivably help us, and the people who love men in their lives are doomed. It wasn't a helpful post. It basically felt, here's some actual material analysis on feminism and said, That trying to educate and make men be part of feminism is fundamentally a flawed effort, because again, they are the oppressor class, why should they care about uplifting the oppressed?

And it made me think about this very good pamphlet I read, explaining how the white worker remained complacent for so long because at least they weren't a Black slave. And that the author theorized the reason labor movements never truly created exceptional, radical change is because of internal racism (which I find true) and failure to uplift black people. And the author listed common outlooks/approaches to this problem, and one of them was: "We should ignore the white folks entirely and hold solidarity with only other POC, and the countries in the Global South. Who needs those wishy-washy white fragile leftists who don't care about what we think or want?" (roughly paraphrased.)

And the author said, This sounds like the most leftist and radical position, but it's totally flawed because it absolves us of our responsibility to dismantle white supremacy for the sake of our fellow marginalized people, and we are basically ignoring the problem. And that blew me away because this is a position so many activists have, to just ignore the white folks and focus entirely on our own movements. I wish I knew the name of the actual pamphlet, so I could quote entire passages at you.

But I feel this is the same for men. Obviously, we should prioritize and have women-led and women-focused feminism. But saying that men are an oppressor class so they can't reliably be counted upon in feminist activism--it's such a huge oversimplification. And mainly, I'm a Muslim, and I've been treated with plenty of misogyny from Muslim men. And also plenty of misogyny from Muslim women. And I love my male friends, I want men to be part of the movement, and I dunno. Thinking about communities, movements, and the various ways we fail each other and what it means to be truly intersectional keeps me up at night.

I don't know the pamphlet you're talking about but I've read and been taught similar. There's a reason much of my anti-racism is so feminist and most of my feminism is anti-racist. Many people coming at this problem from a truly intersectional angle have seen that there is no freedom to be had without joining hands across the community. Not picking and choosing our allies based off of identity but off of behavior.

As used in a previous example, a white abled moderately wealthy man saying "wow Healthcare sucks in this country, why does this system suck so bad" should be told "hey, this system sucks so bad because it's built off of sexism, racism, classism, and ableism. You want to improve the system? Fix those things and it will be much better in the long run" and not "shut up you're a man. Healthcare is always going to be better for you". The second response doesn't fix that Healthcare is still a problem even if you are at the "top" of the privilege ladder. If we want true change, we have to dismantle the entire system at it's core and build it up without the yuck, otherwise you're gunna get to the top and realize this place sucks too.

Something something if the crabs worked together to hold each other up, they could all get out of the bucket and be free.

[reelmegabyte]

ever wonder why spotify/discord/teams desktop apps kind of suck?

i don't do a lot of long form posts but. I realized that so many people aren't aware that a lot of the enshittification of using computers in the past decade or so has a lot to do with embedded webapps becoming so frequently used instead of creating native programs. and boy do i have some thoughts about this.

for those who are not blessed/cursed with computers knowledge Basically most (graphical) programs used to be native programs (ever since we started widely using a graphical interface instead of just a text-based terminal). these are apps that feel like when you open up the settings on your computer, and one of the factors that make windows and mac programs look different (bc they use a different design language!) this was the standard for a long long time - your emails were served to you in a special email application like thunderbird or outlook, your documents were processed in something like microsoft word (again. On your own computer!). same goes for calendars, calculators, spreadsheets, and a whole bunch more - crucially, your computer didn't depend on the internet to do basic things, but being connected to the web was very much an appreciated luxury!

that leads us to the eventual rise of webapps that we are all so painfully familiar with today - gmail dot com/outlook, google docs, google/microsoft calendar, and so on. as html/css/js technology grew beyond just displaying text images and such, it became clear that it could be a lot more convenient to just run programs on some server somewhere, and serve the front end on a web interface for anyone to use. this is really very convenient!!!! it Also means a huge concentration of power (notice how suddenly google is one company providing you the SERVICE) - you're renting instead of owning. which means google is your landlord - the services you use every day are first and foremost means of hitting the year over year profit quota. its a pretty sweet deal to have a free email account in exchange for ads! email accounts used to be paid (simply because the provider had to store your emails somewhere. which takes up storage space which is physical hard drives), but now the standard as of hotmail/yahoo/gmail is to just provide a free service and shove ads in as much as you need to.

webapps can do a lot of things, but they didn't immediately replace software like skype or code editors or music players - software that requires more heavy system interaction or snappy audio/visual responses. in 2013, the electron framework came out - a way of packaging up a bundle of html/css/js into a neat little crossplatform application that could be downloaded and run like any other native application. there were significant upsides to this - web developers could suddenly use their webapp skills to build desktop applications that ran on any computer as long as it could support chrome*! the first applications to be built on electron were the late code editor atom (rest in peace), but soon a whole lot of companies took note! some notable contemporary applications that use electron, or a similar webapp-embedded-in-a-little-chrome as a base are:

microsoft teams

notion

vscode

discord

spotify

anyone! who has paid even a little bit of attention to their computer - especially when using older/budget computers - know just how much having chrome open can slow down your computer (firefox as well to a lesser extent. because its just built better <3)

whenever you have one of these programs open on your computer, it's running in a one-tab chrome browser. there is a whole extra chrome open just to run your discord. if you have discord, spotify, and notion open all at once, along with chrome itself, that's four chromes. needless to say, this uses a LOT of resources to deliver applications that are often much less polished and less integrated with the rest of the operating system. it also means that if you have no internet connection, sometimes the apps straight up do not work, since much of them rely heavily on being connected to their servers, where the heavy lifting is done.

taking this idea to the very furthest is the concept of chromebooks - dinky little laptops that were created to only run a web browser and webapps - simply a vessel to access the google dot com mothership. they have gotten better at running offline android/linux applications, but often the $200 chromebooks that are bought in bulk have almost no processing power of their own - why would you even need it? you have everything you could possibly need in the warm embrace of google!

all in all the average person in the modern age, using computers in the mainstream way, owns very little of their means of computing.

i started this post as a rant about the electron/webapp framework because i think that it sucks and it displaces proper programs. and now ive swiveled into getting pissed off at software services which is in honestly the core issue. and i think things can be better!!!!!!!!!!! but to think about better computing culture one has to imagine living outside of capitalism.

i'm not the one to try to explain permacomputing specifically because there's already wonderful literature ^ but if anything here interested you, read this!!!!!!!!!! there is a beautiful world where computers live for decades and do less but do it well. and you just own it. come frolic with me Okay ? :]

*when i say chrome i technically mean chromium. but functionally it's same thing

[loveemagicpeace]

🪽Sunday Thoughts🪽

❤️Mars sign is how you act and mars in house is how you react.

💓Venus sign is how you look at love, what is important to you, how you feel. How you behave in love is house where is venus.

🪼We have two different types of pisces people and that is jupiter and neptune. Pisces who have Jupiter's energy will be more philosophical, have faith in something. Pisces who have Neptune's energy will be more dreamy and spiritual. We have two types of scorpio people and they are mars and pluto. Scorpios with Mars energy will be more impulsive, driven and fearless. Scorpios with Pluto energy will be more deep, mysterious, controlling.

🩵8th house synastry-it can also give you the feeling that you want to keep this person and the relationship you have with them to yourself. It's like you want it to be your secret. Not because you're embarrassed or anything, but you just want the relationship you have with this person to be private. Even when you fight in a relationship, you don't want to talk about it with others. You want to keep this person all to yourself. A lot of times you feel like you have some kind of deeper connection with that person and you can feel protective of them.

🍋Mars in 7th house-these people are many times self-sacrificing for others. You do a lot for other people and at the same time you can forget about yourself. People can quickly drain you of your energy. Because you try to do everything for others.

🩵Water moons have very good intuition and way of caring. They always know what you need, they sense your energy. All of a sudden they will hug you. They feel your energy and I love how deeply they understand you. They will always be here for you and always make sure you feel good. But they can often take things too emotionally.

🩶Earth moons- what I like about them is that they know how to stay calm and somehow process their emotions. You feel emotionally safe because they give you the feeling that they will always be here. But they have a hard time expressing them, so sometimes you can feel like they don't see you or don't give you what you need.

❤️‍🔥Fire moons- know how to look at every situation optimistically. They know how to put you in a good mood. They are not emotionally resentful, so you can feel that will never last long if they are angry. However, their feelings can often be selfish.

🩷Air moons- know how to accept your feelings and look at the other side of them. They will always somehow have a more logical response to them and will always want to talk about them. You always know you'll end up talking to them, no matter what. But they can overthink too much about their feelings. Or sometimes solve everything in some rational way.

🌃Your MC says a lot about how you feel in the audience, for example: birthdays, events. How you look and how others see you. Scorpio MC - you will always look mysterious, calm, intimidating. In reality, you're best off just watching people. You don't like people pointing you out or asking you anything. You don't like being exposed. Libra MC- you will always be the person who talks to everyone. You will always be kind to everyone and want them to feel good. You will act friendly to people.

🌠Taurus + Taurus -are a good combination in love. Both know how to appreciate each other and put a lot into love and making a person feel good. Both can do a lot for each other. They kind of have the same outlook and inspiration. They know how to show the love they have for each other. Both can be stubborn but stable.

🌙Cancer placements always have one person that they are always with on a party. They won't go to a party if they don't know someone will be there to hang out with. They always have favorite people too.

🦋Scorpios are always oscillating between life and death. Because they are also a sign of that. They represent depth and how deep we can go to discover the truth. I have a person in my life who, before she was born, her heart stopped during her mother's birth. She have scoprio sun, mercury& venus. It can be seen that the scorpion is exposed in her life but in a deeper way. But she has 6th house placements wants to help others (people who are helpless) and has a vulnerable feeling towards animals.

🧩Geminis easily approach people with whom they quarrel as if nothing had happened. They have a way of communicating when it's interesting and somehow they know how to use words and they know how to get someone to talk again.

🫧Taurus are persistent. When they want something, they will insist on getting it. They are a sign that rarely gives up because they have calm nerves and are patient. And they will really try when they want something.

☕️Capricorn rising- people become shy whenever they talk to you. Because you emit a power that gives others the feeling that they are somehow reserved with you. You can silence people with your presence.

🧸Your 1st house shows a part of your characteristics and appearance. The planets in this house show themselves in the way others see, notice and hear you. Neptune in 1st house- people will always find something dreamy about you or a part of you will always be in dreamy world. Jupiter in 1st house- your confidence will always be there and also you have natural luck. Pluto in 1st house- the strength you carry inside you is invincible. Never doubt in what you can become. Mercury in 1st house-your words have power and don’t let others silence you. Mars in 1st house- energy is eternal and you always have it with you. Sun in 1st house- your light can be stronger than others. Never doubt how you can shine. U have sun in you. Venus in 1st house- you have a charm that others immediately notice. You know how to love yourself. Moon in 1st house- listen to your intuition. Your emotions can always be there. Uranus in 1st house- you are unique always remember this. U are star in the sky. Saturn in 1st house- u are good enough. Don't be so hard on yourself, Saturn will reward you.

-Rebekah🩵🫧🪽

[stellarsagittarius]

🧩 Chiron in Synastry: How your partner triggers you and heals you at the same time 🧩

[P.s. Please follow me on Instagram! @/Stellar_Sagittarius I post even more astrology content on it and it's a business I'm trying to grow. Your presence means a lot to me ❤️.]

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Chiron in 1st House Synastry

Chiron is very strong in the angular houses, ie, 1st, 4th, 7th and 10th, since it is felt very personally. The Chiron person is going to transform how the house person looks at themselves. This is more physical than mental, but Chiron person will change the house person literally in many ways. On the challenging side Chiron might make House much more insecure, and even 'jealous' of them. But if taken positively, Chiron will make the house person look at themselves with so much love. Chiron will make you glow and radiate beauty from within. You will feel extremely confident about being yourself with Chiron. The Chiron person will encourage you and tell you how beautiful you are, there will be this sense of empathy and adoration by them, for who you are as a person. [I think that's the reason why I appreciate Capricorn risings so much. They make me proud af.] The Chiron person will love to shower the House with compliments or really appreciate their outlook on life. If this is taken negatively, the Chiron person might get overly jealous or butthurt over the house person's opinions in life and might not communicate in a healthy way at all. And the house person's self esteem and confidence will be greatly affected.

Chiron in 2nd House Synastry

The Chiron person will teach you (the house person) to accept themselves more and more. The 2nd house is all about the image we have of ourselves from the outside, ie, our style or looks, or how we are satisfied in the material world. This also has do with our beliefs and values. Anything that we own. So Chiron will make you see your worth in the best way possible. The Chiron person will trigger you to become more self reliant, if this is a committed long term relationship. If this relationship isn't built on a solid ground or is not something 'positive', the Chiron person will trigger the House person, a lot, and make them feel repressed or that the house person has to become someone that they are not. The house person would feel useless or worthless in Chiron person's presence. The house person will always ask, "Am I good enough?" While in loving relationships, the Chiron person will motivate the house person to become more and more confident in the way they show up for themselves and express themselves. The Chiron person would shower the house person with compliments and will love to tell the house person how amazing and inspirational they find them to be. The house person generally would love this type of attention from Chiron, and will feel very confident in their skills and abilities because of the Chiron person.

Chiron in 3rd House Synastry

When Chiron falls into someone's 3rd house, the Chiron person really challenges the house person to stand up and communicate their needs. The house person finds the Chiron person to be very talkative or very dominant in a sense that Chiron would give them knowledge about so many things, and somehow it would feel 'oppressive'. This is pretty similar to gaslighting, because Chiron dismisses the House person's voice. The Chiron person will straight up say what is bothering them, and the House person needs to learn to communicate their own needs in a healthy way. The house person will be shown their wounds related to siblings or their locality, and the Chiron person will ask of you to heal those relationships and even accept any childhood trauma that your neighborhood might have given you. The Chiron person will want you to express your thoughts and opinions, and if you don't, then the Chiron person might start to feel that they smother your conversations or cut you off all the time, so that you can listen to them. With this placement, the house person needs to learn to communicate without feeling the fear of judgements. In healthy relationships, Chiron will encourage the House person to share their thoughts and ideas, and Chiron will show a genuine interest in learning what the house person has to offer.

Chiron in 4th House Synastry

This is a very deep placement! It can either feel extremely challenging or it can be a really good factor for personal growth. The Chiron person will leave you wondering about how your entire childhood/memories of the past has been, because Chiron will trigger the deepest emotional memories that you have saved within. This person will strip away any mask that you have and will show you your core emotional wounds. You will feel extremely transparent and vulnerable in front of the Chiron person. The Chiron person will see the House person to their deepest and most private self. Chiron will make you introspect heavily on your private life. In more negative or immature relationships, the Chiron person might show stalking tendencies towards you/the House person. The House person will be called to embrace their vulnerable self in front of the Chiron person. The Chiron person will also trigger you to have a better relationship with your house and your lifestyle. They will teach the House person to become more accepting of being alone and feeling authentic. The House person will feel encouraged to embrace their emotions in the presence of Chiron. For the Chiron person, you will feel like a safe space for them to open up. In challenging relationships, the Chiron person will make it extremely hard for the House person to open up and trust.

Chiron in 5th House Synastry

With Chiron being in the House person's/your area of life that deals with creativity, pleasure and joy, the Chiron person will help the House person realise the meaning of letting go and truly enjoying the journey. The House person will feel like a child again in the presence of Chiron. Chiron will teach you to become more intune with your creative side and to not take everything as something that needs to be constantly worked upon. In the presence of Chiron, you will feel more expressive and will start to feel like a child again. You will notice that the Chiron person helps you heal your inner child, they encourage your creativity, and they pull you closer towards understanding the meaning of true joy in life. In challenging or immature relationships, the House person will feel extremely stagnant and somehow stuck when in the presence of Chiron. The house person will feel as though they don't have enough freedom to just be themselves and enjoy the things they usually do. The house person would feel like they need to prove themselves or smother their fun side to be able to get along with Chiron. In healthy relationships, this is a very beautiful aspect that indicates two people understanding how joyful life can be once they encourage each other's passions and interests. The house person will feel seen and heard by the Chiron person. And the Chiron person will feel as though they connect deeper with their fun side whenever they are around the house person.

Chiron in 6th House Synastry

When Chiron is placed in the 6th house, the house person will feel the need to constantly be working or improving their daily habits. Chiron will trigger this sense of urgency within the house person, and the house person become very willing to look at their routines and how they cope with day to day issues. With this house placement, Chiron can end up teaching the house person how to become responsible and take action in life. The house person will feel this energy of a "mentor" from the Chiron person, because the Chiron person will help the house person look deep where they are slacking off or wasting their time. In negative or immature relationships, the Chrion person could become extremely nitpicky and will criticize every single habit the house person has. In conflicted relationships this can show up as having very different lifestyles that don't give you freedom to follow what you wish to follow. The house person will learn to manage their time and energy better. And the Chiron person will learn to become more independent and take responsibility for themselves. Both the Chiron and house person will teach each other new routines or introduce to better lifestyles. This couple will push each other to become healthy and live a life where health is the main focus. This couple will be able to manage a household together very nicely.

Chiron in 7th House Synastry

The 7th house is another angular house which means the energy is felt quite strongly. So when someone has their Chiron in your 7th house, or vice versa, you will literally be learning the way to maintain healthy relationships. This sounds very broad in a sense because "maintaining a healthy relationship," covers every area of life. But actually here, the Chiron person will teach the house person to express their needs to other people. The Chiron person will act this mirror to the house person. The house person will realise their own shortcomings and will understand the real way to build a connection on mutual trust and understanding. This is a very karmic type of placement because you are literally teaching the other person how to be in a relationship, how to open up and love somebody. This can be extremely healing and the House person might see the Chiron person as their "other half". Because the house person will feel seen and heard by the Chiron person. In immature relationships, the House person will feel used or manipulated by the Chiron person. The Chiron person will project their insecurities onto the house person, and it won't be pleasant. However in a healthy relationships, Chiron person will realise their own shortcomings and won't project their insecurities onto the House person. The House person will naturally feel drawn to Chiron's presence in their life, and will enjoy having Chiron as their partner.

Chiron in 8th House Synastry

8th house is about what we share with someone else. People think it's a bad house, but no it isn't. The thing about this house is, that when humans bond with other humans, due to their pride and jealousy they tend to create 'bad' bonds. And this is the house of bonding and sharing. Honestly this can be one of the most abundant houses, if you know how to deal with people and not accumulate negative emotions from others. So the placement of Chiron in someone else's 8th house, the House person will like be in a complete bind. The House person will find healing in what they share with the Chiron person. And this bond is mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. The Chiron person will touch the deepest parts of the House person's pysche. The House person will feel exposed because Chiron will be able to look so deep into them. They will be like this inseparable duo. The healing will come to each other through getting completely involved in understanding each other, being completely honest with each other. In positive relationships, the House person will feel as though Chiron just gets them and there is no barrier that Chiron can't break. Chiron will feel extremely drawn to the House person and will want to understand them as deeply as they can. In immature relationships, this can turn into psychological harm, manipulation and the House person will see Chiron as someone they can't share anything with. The house person will see Chiron as flaky and will be distrustful of their intentions. Whereas in positive relationships, both Chiron and House person will feel like they found their "best friend". Both will feel extremely drawn to each other's energy and will be very involved in helping each other out through anything.

Chiron in 9th House Synastry

The 9th house in Synastry is all about how two people influence each other to pursue knowledge and wisdom. It's the house where you become wiser with the experiences of life, the house where you value learning, adventure and seek greater meaning of life. Chiron person will teach the house person to open up their minds and look at life with a fresh new lens. The House will realise there is more to life and that adventure is not lost. Chiron will feel as breath of fresh air around the House person. In immature or negative relationships, the House person will feel suffocated or neglected because the Chiron person will dismiss the beliefs and ideologies of the house person. The house person will feel a need to break free from the way Chiron suppresses their views on life. This is giving like a strict political leader who's wife is extremely unhappy at how caged her beliefs are because of him. So, in more positive and healthy relationships, the House person will learn a lot of new things because of Chiron's genuine curiousity about life and philosophy. Chiron is really like a teacher to the house person, and will also learn immensely by teaching the house. They will expand each other's minds about life, values, being open to the idea of different cultures, traditions, philosophies etc. There is a great potential for healing in this area of life.

Chiron in 10th House Synastry

This will be felt very personally by the house person. Chiron will expose you to the world, almost. They will shed light on how the house person shows up in front of the world, if the mask they are wearing for the public is authentic enough, or if the house person is confident enough wearing their social mask. Chiron will be like a mentor to the House person. The house person will realise a lot of things about their work and career, about how they show up in front of the world etc. Chiron will act like an advisor and a mentor to the House person. In conflicted or immature relationships, the Chiron person can make the House person extremely self conscious of they appear between people, or give them social anxiety, degrade their confidence etc. The house person will feel controlled and smothered by Chiron because Chiron might tell them things that will make them insecure of themselves. This is very much like a controlling mother who wants her daughter to appear perfect in front of everybody. The house person will feel pressured by Chiron and Chiron's tendency to appear a certain way and look totally perfect as a couple even when things are not that way in reality. In healthy relationships Chiron will teach the House person a lot about maintaining a good reputation, having a stable career etc. Chiron will feel like their efforts to build a successful person aren't going to waste. These two will help each other professionally a lot!

Chiron in 11th House Synastry

With the 11th house of hopes, long terms plans, networking, making connections, achieving goals, Chiron will inspire the House person to take action towards their goals. The house person will reconsider their long terms plans because of Chiron's influence. The house person will see Chiron as a part of their future and will consider Chiron to be a big influence on how they plan for their ambitions. Both Chiron and house person will inspire each other with new ideas and hope, and Chiron might introduce the House person to very important people who might help House achieve their goals. There is a sense of motivation that Chiron fills the house person up with. In immature or conflicted relationships, the House person will feel like Chiron always shatter their dreams or never let them dream. House person will feel extremely neglected and as though their hopes and aspirations doesn't matter. Chiron will also limit the house person from networking or socializing or simply becoming a decent well liked person in their community. Chiron will somehow become disloyal or really taint the house person's name in the social circle. In healthy or positive relationships, Chiron and the House person will immensely support each other's dreams and goals. Both will help each other to meet with important people, build important friendships etc. The Chiron person will act like a guide for the House person. They will educate the house person on social life, making friends, achieving goals, etc. Both will achieve many beautiful things together as a team!

Chiron in 12th House Synastry

The 12th house is about the unseen and everything to do with our mind. It's about the un-ordinary and the fantastical. When someone has their Chiron in your 12th house, you will feel like your are healing, but won't realise how. Because the 12th house is so subtle, and so unconscious. The House person will be healing in every tiny interaction with Chiron person. They won't realise they are healing each other, but it will be subconscious and subliminal. In unhealthy relationships though, it'll feel as though Chiron can read you so well and that they have this key to unlock your inner world, but they aren't making a good use of it. The Chiron person will know how to fuck up the house person's psychology. Often times though, in immature relationships, nobody will realise this, expect the house person might feel intuitive hints that the Chiron person is not good for their mental health. Chiron will screw your mind, if you don't realise it quickly enough. In healthy relationships though, Chiron is going to heal you very subtly. The house person will feel a genuine lift in their mood/energy whenever Chiron is around. Chiron will almost act like this perfect parent, to the little child that is the house person. Because when a baby is developing, they pick up very small clues and signs, and that shapes their mind in the long term. So Chiron in this aspect, will be healing the house person to great depth. Infact both will heal each other, both will feel more positive around each other, and yes, both will trigger each other enormously because of the deep seated emotions and fears. But these two will also come out stronger on the other end!

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[mazeinthemiroh]

hi, you wrote skz x a puppy like s/o but what about skz with a black cat like s/o

stray kids with a 'black cat' s/o

genre: fluff

warnings: none?

please like and reblog if you enjoy :D

chan

he's so golden retriever coded so you guys are a combo people wouldn't expect. if you think of the way chan acts with minho, that's sort of your relationship in a nutshell. he's so affectionate and loving towards you and while you are not as outward with your affection, you accept it with confusion but openness. he loves how catlike you are and will continue to think you're adorable af.

minho

you guys are a power couple. also, people are kinda intimated by you both but that's alright because you only have eyes for each other so no one else really matters. you guys are so sexy together jdbfhsifoewiy giving each other knowing looks from across the room and smirking at each other when someone you don't like starts speaking. idk you're both icons.

changbin

an unlikely duo but it works. he will make fun of your aloofness and make it his mission to bring you out of your shell. not that you're shy, just that you keep to yourself and are quite reserved in social situations, while binnie is a social butterfly. but genuinely, he likes how your personality compliments his and he's hella attracted to how confident you are in yourself.

hyunjin

hyunnie is attracted to all sorts of different people. he too is quite independent and needs his alone time, so he is fine with you being like that too. but you two are together, he brings out the much softer side to you mainly cos he's freaking adorable. each other's company is enough for the both of you and you don't feel you're missing out on any social events because neither of you is too keen on them to begin with!

jisung

he was extremely attracted to you from the get-go. he liked how mysterious you are and thought of you to be a bit of a question mark when he first met you. so he made it his goal to try and 'figure you out', and has done a pretty good job since. despite having different personalities, you both have the same sort of humour and get along more naturally than other people do.

felix

this ray of sunshine absolutely adores you, despite being slightly intimidated when he met you for the very first time. felix has the type of personality that you are drawn to, as well as want to protect. while he has a more innocent approach to life, you want to make sure he is happy and free to express himself how he wants. you're like his number 1 protector as well as the other members lol.

seungmin

he's such a puppy-dog and is the cutest boy ever, we know this. but i can see this relationship work well because, even though minnie has the characteristics of a dog, he has a witty and sharp mind on him too. so he can keep up with your sarcastic remarks and cynical outlooks just as much as anyone else. he's very good at adapting to different types of humour!

jeongin

my favourite pair, not even gonna lie about it. he appreciates and admires your independence and likes the fact that you can share comfortable silences that never feel awkward. you both prefer each other's company to going out with a massive group of people, so you go out on regular dates just to bask in each other's comfortable presence.

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

Shifting Your Mindset From Scarcity To Abundance 

Your mindset can be the reason you're not reaching your goals or living the life you want. Philosophers say the way that you think is exactly the way you will live. A lot of people live with a scarcity mindset believing the things they want are unattainable and out of reach. And if you struggle with this way of thinking it's time to shift your mindset to an abundance mindset. Your goals are achievable and the life you want is achievable.

What is a scarcity mindset?

A scarcity mindset is an outlook on life that focuses on the lack of resources it's like putting blinders on limiting what you notice that can benefit you in the world. For example, you don't think there are any more good men in the world so you settle for a guy who doesn't meet your standards. Another example is wanting to start a business and assuming you won't be successful because there are others in the same niche as you. Even comparing your beauty to the next woman. Living in this cycle can create a lot of anxiety, anger, and resentment towards others and their achievements.

Signs you have a scarcity mindset 

♡ Perfectionism. You assume that anything less than perfect isn't good enough. This will only lead to procrastination and fear of risk-taking and the cycle will continue.

♡ You hate to see others succeed. Instead of celebrating the accomplishments of others you feel threatened by them. Thinking that their success takes away your chances of being successful or that they are outshining you. You feel that for your situation to get better others must fail so you can win.

♡ Competing with others. You might compare yourself to others and that can lead to competing and trying to outdo the next person. Some people will be in hard financial times and instead of being financially responsible, they will try to keep up with the Jones buying designer and so many other items that don't benefit them at that time.

♡ You blame others for your problems. We all know someone who didn't put in the effort to do something and when asked what happened they blame the world, economy, or anything unrelated to why they didn't achieve their goal. They lack accountability for their actions leading to their failures.

♡Being pessimistic. We will all have bad days and see things negatively we are human but always being pessimistic about all the things in your life is a terrible way to live. 

♡ Negative self-talk. You find yourself saying “I can't do that”, “this will never happen to me”, or “This isn't realistic for someone like me.” Your mind believes only what you feed it and if you feed your mind sentences like these you will always live with a scarcity mindset.

If you resonate with any of these signs now its time to change babes<3

What is an abundance mindset?

An abundance mindset is believing that the world is filled with enough resources and time for you to accomplish any goals you have. You optimistically see life and don't hold on to negativity. You let go and let things be. You trust yourself and pour into yourself and the world around you. Seeing the glass as half full.

Signs you have an abundance mindset 

♡ You are an optimist. Like I said above you tend to the glass as half full.  Negative things may happen to you but instead of thinking why me? You think what can I learn from this experience?

♡ High level of self-awareness. You're able to have a balanced self-image and can recognize the negative traits that you need to fix. You praise and optimize your positive traits.

♡ Being present. You focus on the now you don't get caught up in the past on what could have been or stress yourself on the future on what could be. You focus on the things you can control.

♡ You celebrate people. You want to see others achieve their goals even if they are similar to your own. You think there is enough room for everyone to be successful and happy.

♡ You are open to change. You believe the sky is the limit! And there is always room for new hobbies, careers, and so on. You take advantage of new opportunities that come your way.

♡ Generosity. You don't mind giving your time, money, and resources to others because you believe that these things are endless and always flowing into your life.

♡  Personal development. Instead of focusing on the shortcomings of others you focus on your personal growth and work on becoming the best version of yourself.

How do you cultivate an abundance mindset?

♡ Gratitude journaling. Make time during your day to journal the stuff that you are grateful for. Reflect on the small things in your life that bring you happiness, peace, and hope. Gratitude journaling can help improve your mental health, increase self-esteem, and reduce stress.

♡ Practice being mindful. Practice awareness in the present moment through breath work, sensory activation, and meditation

♡ Positive affirmations. Start speaking positively to yourself and focus on showing love to the things you can’t change about yourself and the things you love about yourself. Making positive statements combat limiting beliefs. This will increase your self-esteem.

♡ Surround yourself with people who have an abundance mindset. We don't realize but the people around us do slowly have an impact on us. Make friends with people who have an abundance mindset instead of those who think negatively with a scarcity mindset.

Going into 2024 we need to kick these scarcity mindsets and sit with abundance affirming that we can achieve our goals. If you have any other tips you’d like to share please comment below and share them with our other girliesss<3

[unbidden-yidden]

I feel myself having so much less patience these days, and I don't like it.

Patience and compassion and kindness are things that must be cultivated like tender plants - they grow by the inch and die by the foot.

Seeing into someone's heart is something that takes a little effort, but the way to do it is by reframing your outlook, like you might adjust your vision to see through water. There are layers to a person, and you have to look past what they say or do on the surface in order to get to their true motivations.

And it takes patience and holding space for people, because they are used to operating in an unsafe environment. It's like when you go to the pond, you're not likely to see frogs right away. You might need to sit quietly for a half hour before the frogs re-emerge and float to the surface. But once you see them, suddenly there are frogs everywhere! You just had to wait until your mind allowed you to take them in. People's vulnerabilities and intentions are the same way. You might need to wait a while until the person is sure you are safe to be around, or they might have been exhibiting all of those vulnerabilities and motivations pretty openly; you just couldn't tell until you knew what you were looking for.

This gets much, much harder to do when you yourself don't feel safe, especially when you aren't (or feel like you aren't) being seen as human. You also (obviously) must see the other person as equally human to yourself, or this doesn't work. Perhaps a broken, deeply flawed person; but a person nonetheless.

I work in the domestic violence field, and so I end up talking to a lot of abusers in my professional life on behalf of my clients. I've found that it helps a lot to be kind. Why? Not because it's deserved, but because it's unexpected. They come into the situation ready to fight and argue, and instead, I speak to them kindly and explain why what my clients are asking for is in everyone's best interests. This seems to deflate them pretty immediately. They come into the situation thinking I'm the boss level for "fights with my ex (or whatever)" and then I listen. I take them out of earshot of my client, I let them vent (which helps me figure out what they actually want) and then I patiently explain our position and how we're offering to resolve the situation. And you know what? It works. A lot of the time, they were expecting me to treat them like a monster. But they're not a monster; they're a person who has done some inexcusable and horrific things, but they remain a person. I think about both my abusive exes, and the truth is that they're both people I loved, and loved for a reason. I wouldn't want someone else to hurt them (even if it was in cruel words only) just because they hurt me. Sometimes, the abuser is the father (or mother) of the client's children. There is typically always anger, but what good does it do for me to vent that anger for my client? Who does it help? Nobody. If we can't agree, then fine. I will do my job of asking the tough questions without mercy. But before that? Far better to de-escalate if possible.

Another conflict resolution thing: you have to remove the aggressive third parties that are angry on one side or the other's behalf. They tend to aggravate the party and escalate the situation by talking in the person's ear and saying how unfair this is and generally making it about their own feelings rather than problem solving.

But here too, finding out where the third parties who have involved themselves in the situation actually want is critical to diffusing this as well. They are people who are righteously (at least in their mind) angry on behalf of one of the parties because they love them and this has activated their protective side. And sometimes people really do need an advocate, yes. But sometimes (a lot of times) these third parties actually get in the way of de-escalation and problem solving.

All of this requires patience, effort, cultivation. And I work hard to do that. But lately my patience has been worn thin by too many people seeing me as subhuman, and it's really starting to wear on me.

[writing-for-life]

Nuance in (The Sandman) Fandom

Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

I thought a lot over the past few days, partly prompted by discourse on here, partly due to a couple of “interesting” asks and messages I received (the type you don’t answer). I *think* they might have been prompted by engaging in discourse on topics like anti-blackness/racism, misogyny/sexism, TERF characters etc in The Sandman.

Fandoms are always getting super sensitive if someone shines a critical lens on their favourite works, authors and characters. So to make this clear (in case it isn’t already obvious from my brain-rot blog):

I love The Sandman. I love Neil Gaiman. I have an extremely soft spot for Dream (and Desire btw, who deserves a lot more character analysis than just being summed up as “villainous, sexy bitch”. One day, perhaps ;)).

I can read The Sandman and just get lost in the story, even after decades and many rereads. 

But I can also view it through a critical lens—these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Not critical enough or too critical?

As fans, we can get trapped in certain thinking patterns, like:

“My blorbo can do no wrong”-syndrome 

“Characters with flaws are inherently problematic and imply authorial endorsement of those actions” 

“Characterisation and problematic subtext are one and the same” (aka overanalysing and looking for problems where there are none is the death of every story, but failing to see problematic patterns where they are clearly visible is a problem, too).

Don't say anything bad about my favourite character

I think this doesn’t need much further exploration. It’s not my personal way of looking at stories through permanently rose-tinted glasses (I always feel it stalls my experience, but my experience is not everyone else's). Some people prefer that type of escapism, and I’m good with that (although the downside is of course that by not willing to engage with issues, we can unwillingly perpetuate them). Live and let live, ship and let sail. But please, for the love of god: Don’t insult people via their inboxes or messages just because their opinions and preferences don’t align with yours. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or phrase it “nicely”: It’s infantile (and a form of bullying btw), end of.

How can you even like a character who's so horrible? And that author must be equally horrible, too

We have to separate flawed characters, even those who are written to be really problematic, from real-life endorsement of these actions. 

Author, narrator and character are three fundamentally different things, and don’t overlap as much as some people seem to think. 

We can write vile, despicable characters to make a point (for me, Thessaly was always a prime example for this, and I explained why here). We probably hate them as we write them. I don’t know what else to say, but this facet of writing seems to get more and more lost on people, and it’s a worry. Crying for sanitised characterisation is one step away from censorship. We explore what is problematic about people and humanity through story. That’s how we process and learn. It’s nothing new, but it becomes impossible if we can’t write flawed and even disgusting characters. 

Face value…

Since I’m mostly in The Sandman fandom, I often read that its ending is hopeless, and that’s supposedly the entire message. 

It is agonisingly sad, yes. But is it truly hopeless? I personally see it as quite the opposite, but of course that’s my opinion, coloured by my life experiences.

I also get that show-only fans often haven’t read the comics, or at least not the whole arc. And as such, their outlook from what they’ve seen so far (and choose to focus on) has to be different by default. I also understand that many people are quite new to the comics, even if they have read them in their entirety. I’ve sat with them for 30 years, and I still find new things on every reread (and I read it more times than anyone should 🙈), and I still don’t feel like I’ve understood it all. Perhaps because I still haven’t fully understood myself (and it’s unlikely I ever will). If there’s one thing The Sandman isn’t, it’s one-dimensional and easy to grasp in its whole depth.

I just wrote a ginormous meta on it, if you’re interested, it’s here:

Subtext, (not so) glorious subtext

This is where it gets complicated:

We shouldn’t mix up characterisation and story subtext. Overanalysing every line to death will always make us find something that’s “problematic”, when it really isn’t in the wider context of the story.

Zooming in is NOT always a good thing. Sometimes, we actually need to zoom out. 

But subtext *can be* (accidentally) problematic. Even in stories we love. And none of this negates what I previously wrote.

Stories have real-life implications of sorts, and we need to be able to talk about it. That’s where those slightly flabbergasting, hostile inbox messages come in, and I want to expand on that "topic of contention" a bit:

Neil himself confirmed that the Endless basically warp reality, and that this is why, after Dream’s failed relationship with Nada, many black women in his vicinity suffer terrible fates (Ruby and Carla in particular). And that this spell is only broken when he dies, and that it is the reason why Gwen doesn’t suffer the same fate. And said Gwen then gets used as a plot device to basically absolve Hob (who canonically really is a problematic character, whether show-only fans like it or not) from his slaver past. Once again, very clearly: No one is making this up. Neil confirmed it (for the comics, and that was over 20 years ago. It remains to be seen if his stance has changed as we move into that arc in the TV show).

I don't think it is correct to imply that Dream as a character is racist (I've read that, too) because he logically can’t be. He holds *all* the collective unconscious. He is also, strictly speaking, not white. He is everything and nothing, and he shows up in many different ethnicities throughout the whole arc, depending on who looks at him. But Neil played with a subtext here (reality warping due to a bad relationship which then affects everyone with similar physical traits) that will read very differently to a black person than it reads to a white person, and we have to understand why that is an *extremely* slippery slope.

Plus, we are supposed to see Hob, who *was* a racist at some point (you can’t not be if you’re a slave-trader—it’s impossible by default) as redeemed. And yes, he *does* regret deeply, good for him (and if I were saying this aloud, you would hear the sarcasm in my voice, because it is indeed all about him. We are to sympathise/empathise with him and his character growth while there isn’t much mention of the people he maltreated). But also: it was a black woman who basically forgave him (with dialogue that personally makes me cringe). And that black woman who offers forgiveness is not truly a black woman—she is a character written by a white man. And as much as author and character are not the same (see above), there is an inherent sensitivity in that power imbalance that we can't brush under the carpet.

I don’t think Neil is racist. Probably quite the opposite, and I can even see that his intentions were good from a storytelling point of view. BUT intention and impact are two fundamentally different things, and telling the story this way (comic version) betrays blindspots only white people have. Just like women have blindspots when they tell stories about men, and men have blindspots when they tell stories about women (and there are a few of those in The Sandman, too). And and and…

As storytellers, we can’t always speak from lived experience. It’s impossible. And that also means we occasionally make mistakes that look bad in hindsight, even if our intentions were good.

I guess the proof is in the pudding: What do we do when people who *have* that lived experience tell us it looks bad? If they inform us why it is hurtful, plays into old stereotypes etc?

Are we willing to listen and yield (both are the foundations of allyship btw), or are we insisting that our viewpoint as someone *without* lived experience is right? That lived experience extends to all lived experiences (sex/gender, sexual orientation, age...), and from all we’ve heard from Neil so far, it seems important to him to rewrite what he sees differently today. Whether they’ll always get it right for the show—we’ll see. At the moment, it looks a lot better than in the comics, and certain issues are already being handled with a lot more sensitivity, but a few problems remain.

Pushing back on criticism that comes from people with lived experience is problematic—I’d encourage us to think about what it looks like if a white majority in the fandom is basically saying that the opinions of POC are essentially “overreactions” (and yes, that happened).

It’s complicated. The Sandman was written in a different time, and I think we have to distinguish between things that weren’t really problematic at the time but have aged poorly (again, Thessaly springs to mind, and I have lived experience as a queer person during that time, so I can see it in context while at the same time acknowledging that I would make changes to bring it to the present day), and things that were always a problem due to blindspots. They were a problem in 1990, and if they don’t get changed, they are still a problem today.

This fandom is generally so much more open and nicer than others I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s infallible, because it’s full of humans. 

Nuance is sorely needed, in both story interpretation and interaction between said humans.

[accio-victuuri]

XZ’s GQ February issue candies 🍬

now that we all had the time to appreciate the lovely photos and videos from that cover & collab — which is honestly a whole meal on it’s own, now is the time for some sweets. 🫶🏼 nothing too extravagant, a few similarities and clues we have connected only. i think the best candy still is the fact that it’s now confirmed that zz & wyb both have a good relationship with gq. even rocco going as far as choosing xz to start having simultaneous cover releases with other countries. sit tight and wait for all the toxic narratives to be proven wrong. don’t sweat it. the road ahead is long. let’s enjoy life and support the boys! 🫶🏼

One thing i noticed, and was actually surprised about was WYB posting an ad for Super X as early as 8:00 AM. Tho he may post at 8:05, which is rare, he usually does ad posts at 10:00. The 8:05 is mostly done by the brands. We have talked about them trying their best not have work overlap, this is a minor one, but as soon as GQ posted at 9:30 i feel like i know what’s happening. Then it didn’t stop till 12:00 nn. It doesn’t help cause i’m clowning that the short film feature for this cover was assigned Chapter 8. WYB posted at 8, the full short film is 8. What a nice coincidence!

Knowing WYB is not a stranger to doing short films with GQ and their love for movies! It wouldn’t really surprise me now if GG does a full feature about LOCH with them. These two really chose the same publication to do exclusive for their projects 😌😌

the similarity that i love is them in the bathroom and then looking at the mirror. tho wyb’s are scenes from HB, these stills were first seen @ GQ.

there is a story here 👀👀

it’s nice too how GQ used ZZ’s photos and put them in the frames. what a nice touch! since this is essentially his dream 💭

+ peter pan pop up art book on the bed too!

overall, there is really not that much we can clown about when it comes to photos alone. tho what gg is wearing has an interesting story as shared by @rainbowsky here. some may say it’s the stylist and magazine’s choice but we still love seeing the association. In addition, the clothes were inspired by Nicole Kidman’s clothes in a Chanel perfume ad. i love the unconventional wedding dress choice here, it fits them! <3

moving on to the biggest way we can cpn tho is the interview & cover story.

i especially liked the questions, it wasn’t cutesy. it asked what needed to be asked.

here are some of the similarities i found with them and their outlook in life and career. 🤍

First of all, being professional is an unavoidable topic. You can have a non-major background, but you must have excellent professional skills. This is what I want to do, this is who I am. I feel that I am not enough, and i’m too far behind.

I think (improving acting skills) is a cumulative process. You can’t make a big step forward with just one movie. This is difficult for me to happen. So you have to keep filming, but you have to keep filming good films and don't consume yourself.

It’s the intent to be a better actor and the self awareness of not having that “background” people expect them to have. However, they can compensate by being professional. by being the hardest working person in the room. Sometimes I feel like it’s okay for them to praise themselves and not always be this critical, but i guess that’s what make them the best too cause they have high standards for themselves.

At present, I want to be an actor who makes the audience like you. Maybe everyone is not your fan, or even not particularly interested in you, but you know that he has a drama, Do you want to watch it? His dramas are all good. I want to do this. This is my current goal. Is it possible to become the actor I like? This is a rule.

THIS. This!!!!!! I feel like they both have this outlook. They don’t need every single person to be their “fan” but the goal is to become known and liked by the general public. That people are familiar with them as good actors with excellent works. It’s why there is absolutely no need to beat yourself up on who is the better fan. It doesn’t keep the boys up at night. Lol.

There are many. For example, Zhou Xun has always been my favorite actor.

Zhou Xun! Who has worked with WYB in various projects, primarily with Chanel! I hope ZZ gets to work with her too.

I used to take the subway every day. for me there’s nothing I can't do. What do you think I can do? Say hello and leave. It’s just that I don’t want to cause confusion and trouble for everyone or cause a bad reaction.

The two of them have the same intention of not wanting to cause trouble to the people. That means making sure their fans do not cause unnecessary public issues like gathering in certain places.

Everyone has their own boundaries, and some people have no sense of propriety. I stay away from such people, but when the boundaries are broken again and again and the bottom line is touched, I will get very angry.

Chongqing pepper is here! lol. I see them being very patient and understanding cause they know what people expect of celebrities. But they won’t also take things lying down. They will fight if need be.

In principle, I am a very rigid person. If I insist on something and I think it is right, it will be difficult to be convinced. For example, if I want to be an actor, I don’t want to do anything other than being an actor.

I just want to do it well, just try my best right now. Maybe the result is not good, but what should I do? This is all I can do.

Sounds familiar? Especially the part that says I want to do it well? They have the same braincell 🙃

Now let’s look at the cover story. First, i wanna point out the comment of the interviewer about ZZ: “Before meeting, I thought Xiao Zhan would be very cautious about interviews. To my surprise, Xiao Zhan had a rare sense of relaxation, answered all questions, and even had some humor.”

Which is actually a common misconception about XZ or — you know what? he was kind cautious before but as time goes by, he became more relaxed and candid with his answers. It’s still insightful, but not as practiced. In the Q&A, he mentioned that there are things that cannot be said. Setting boundaries like that. Similarly, WYB is the same. We’ve heard stuff saying that he is in a more relaxed state now. I love that for them!

I still sneak out to ride a bicycle, take a walk, and do a CityWalk. Only once, just now in after walking in the alley for 5 minutes, I was recognized. I also sneaked into the cinema to watch a movie. No one will care about you, really. after leaving the Internet, many things will be solved easily. Sometimes the world is right in front of us.

This goes out to everyone that says how can they go out? How are the CPNs of them spending time together be true? Well this is the answer. Sneaked into a cinema to watch a movie? I hope they do that together too ^^

When he goes to different cities, Xiao Zhan will bring the same type of pillows and quilts. "I will bring everything that can help me sleep well." He has also tried aromatherapy lamps, lavender essential oil, and various other products that make him fall asleep when applied on his body.

This is such an easy cpn for us. Remember that time DLS clowned WYB about the aromatherapy candles? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

-END.

[aurathebardwife]

Happy birthday @highgroundanimations !!!

Happy 241st day to you! To celebrate I wrote you a lil something, I hope you enjoy it!

Decantation day

Unlike natborns, clones don’t celebrate the day they are born. Mainly because clones aren’t born, they are decanted, an occasion the Kaminoans don’t see as special and in turns neither do the clones. Most clones don’t even know their decantation day, they just don’t care. Checklist is one of those clones. He doesn’t care, he doesn’t see why he should care, he doesn't even know what day it is. He thought everyone on base thought the same way, Captain Tukk, Roy, and everyone else.

Captain Tukk isn’t known to sulk around. He is the one man who always has a positive outlook on everything, no matter what happens, from huge attacks to the smallest missteps. So to find the Captain at his desk poking at his datapad with a sigh and a pout is a new sight to Checklist. He has no clue how long Tukk has been sitting there but he has been waiting for a reply for some time, so it has to be a while. Checklist sighs through his nose. All he needs is for Tukk to sign off his work so he can get started on the next assignment but he already knows he will get dragged into something much more time consuming. 

“Sir?” he tries again.

“Hmmm…” Tukk replies absentmindedly. 

“Sir, I need…” Checklist starts but Tukk sighs again. “Sir?” He places a gentle hand on Tukk’s datapad to catch his attention. “Are you alright?”

“Hmm?” Finally Tukk looks up at him. “Oh Checklist. Hey, sorry I was lost in thought. Can I help you?” This is the moment Checklist can ignore the Captain’s weird behaviour and get on with his work. But the pout is still on his face and Checklist knows he can’t let it go even if he walks away now.

“I can ask you the same. Why are you sighing so much, sir?”

“Oh… It’s nothing, something stupid. Do you need me to sign off again?” Tukk reaches out for the datapad in Checklist's hand but Checklist pulls it out of reach quickly.

“It can’t be nothing if it pulled the smile off your face. Please, sir, humour me.”

“Alright.” Tukk sighs again and looks away from Checklist. “A local woman, Elvira, invited me to a party yesterday. Apparently natborns celebrate the day they are born with elaborate parties. And…” Tukk falls silent but Checklist keeps staring at him until he talks again. “It’s stupid, Checklist, ignore me.”

“Sir, please. Talk to me.” 

“Is it weird that I want a party too? I checked my file, and today is my decanting day on Kamino. But clones don’t have parties for that right?" Tukk gets this hopeful look in his eyes for just a moment until Checklist starts talking. 

“Not that I know of, sir," Checklist answers honestly. Tukk's pout continues with another sigh. 

“I thought so. Like I said, it’s stupid. Forget I said anything. What do you need me to sign?” Checklist hands Tukk the datapad and leaves, ready for his next assignment. But he doesn’t walk to it straight away. Instead he lingers near Tukk’s office and looks back at the closed door. He doesn’t care much for a party to celebrate his creation, he still doesn’t care. But Tukk does and the sad expression of the Captain bothers him. Clones never have parties for days like this but maybe Captain Tukk can be the exception?

"So you spend time away from your work, to comfort Tukk and now you can't let the whole party thing go?" Roy asks when Checklist approaches him with the issue at hand.

"Correct. I don't understand why he wants a party but it's hard to see him pout," Checklist says. "It feels weird to say this about the Captain, but I want to cheer him up." Roy crosses his arms with a shrug. 

"Captain or not, he's still a vod I don't like to see sad," he says and rubs his chin. "But how do we cheer him up?" There's only one way Checklist can think of. 

"We could throw him a party?" he suggests. 

"What?" 

"I don't see why not. I already looked at the holonet for information and made a list of things most of these birthday parties have."

"Let me see." Checklist opens the list on his datapad and shows it to Roy. "Decorations, food, music, a candle? Why a candle?" 

"No clue. But according to Spuzzfeed, it is a necessary part of the celebration methodes on Coruscant," Checklist explains while showing the results of his search. 

"Strange. Alright, let's throw this party. Gather what we need on base and meet me here. I'll try to find whatever food Tukk likes and get some guys to get him out of his office."

"Yes sir!" 

The list of things needed isn't long, but Checklist has some trouble finding everything on base. The music is off the list immediately, he doesn't like whatever the GAR broadcasts and decorations aren't anywhere on base. He finds substitutes for that, hopefully it's good enough. The candle is the only easy part, he finds one in an emergency kit. Everything is stored safely into a crate and dragged towards Tukk's office. 

"Stay out of sight," Roy orders and signals to a few other guys. After a quick nod they disappear. 

A few seconds later, Tukk runs out of his office in a panic. 

"DON'T EAT THAT JUMPBOOST!" he shouts as he runs away. 

"Oh, that will keep him busy," Checklist comments, knowing the tendency of his batchmate to put whatever he can find in his mouth, with varying results. 

"He's the best distraction we have," Roy says and opens the office door. "Come on." 

Checklist quickly hides behind the desk when Roy is warned about Tukk's return. A dark room, followed by the shouting of surprise is on his list and has to be checked off. Roy turns off the lights and they wait. After a short while, the door slides open. 

"I should chain Jumpboost to a medic," Tukk mutters to himself when he walks into the office. He turns on the lights. "What…" Tukk looks around his office. 

"Surprise!" Checklist shouts and jumps up from behind the desk. Roy steps out from beside the door and waves his hands. 

"Surprise," he says with a monotone voice In a way only Roy can. 

"Check! Roy. What is all this?" Tukk asks. He gestures at the homemade decorations with scrap fabric tied to strings as flags and old ship schematics cut up to form streamers. On the desk are a few small sweet snacks, drinks and a small cake Roy got someone to get in the town nearby, decorated with a single candle. 

"It's a decantation party, si— Tukk," Checklist says. "You wanted one so badly that we put one together."

"We couldn't let you suffer like that," Roy adds. 

"Guys…" Tukk smiles at them both before walking to his desk. "Thank you." 

"Don't mention it. You would do the same for us, if you had the chance," Roy says. 

"It is a tradition with most natborn celebrations to blow out a candle on a cake. I can't tell you why but it's what I found. So…" Checklist lights the candle on the cake. "Go ahead." Tukk looks at Checklist, the happy glint in his eye finally back. Checklist didn't know he missed it so much. 

"I can think of a reason why," Tukk says, "it symbolises how we as soldiers extinguish the destruction of the separatists." 

"I don't think— ugh!" Checklist starts but Roy shuts him up with a kick. 

"Sure thing, Tukk. Give them hell." Tukk leans forward and blows out the candle. 

"To another year of kicking droid ass!" he shouts and wraps his arms around his men's shoulders. "Thanks again."

"Happy decantation day, Tukk," Checklist says with a bright smile. He's far behind his assignments but seeing Tukk laugh like that makes it all worth it. "To another year." 

[cerastes]

Hey how come you making flippant comments in regards to your own self-improvement fetish is so enlightening in regards to mental health things is this the whole 'professional' thing at work.

I would like to think so! When we think of "psychology", most people might have a very Freudian image of it: A therapist solemnly but very comprehensively taking notes as a patient lies on a couch and spills their guts, only interjecting once or twice in the hour-long session and then charging you. Psychoanalysis, the Freudian technique, I don't think it's useless, but it's definitely just one of a myriad of techniques and methods with which to carry out therapy (and one I myself am trained in and do not like). I myself am more of systems theory of psychology kind of guy (Humberto Maturana, Ludwig von Bertalanffy, Gregory Bateson, among others), and systems has a very input-output sort of view (if you want to learn more, you can also look up second order cybernetics and radical constructivism).

Where I am going with all of this is that if it may seem like I'm making flippant comments, then that means I've synthetized my own self-care mind palace to such a degree that it has simply become part of my discourse, my lingo, my poise, if you will, but that in itself took a lot of introspective work in a way that was tangible to me, or in other words, in a way that my brain accepted it. Ultimately, it's the role of the psychologist to lead one to something rather than to reveal any sort of secret to wellness. Using myself as an example, as someone that had suicidal depression at one point, being told to "think positively" didn't do a damn thing, because if it was that easy, then depression wouldn't exist. Instead, I more or less had to trick my own brain into giving it reasons as to why it should think positively, because it makes sense to do so, and in the same vein, I had to give it reasons as to why thinking negatively was dumb. Because that sort of logic works with me. So it's less "hey, think nice things :)" and more "okay but does it have to be like this? Does everyone else have this crushing sadness as their normal as well? I don't think so, so maybe what I'm feeling isn't normal. Why am I thinking that way? What do they have that I don't? Oh, thing A and thing B, yeah, makes sense, and do I want these things? Mmm thing A doesn't really matter to me, but thing B, I'm loathe to admit, is something I desire, how about I work towards having thing B for now as a goal and then see if that is good enough or at least improves my mental state? Are things really as hopeless as I think they are and am I enlightened by my grim outlook? Probably not, so why am I hopeless and why are they not? There's something I don't have or don't know, let's see what that is, and put these shit thoughts on hold until I can ascertain these things". This is a summarized version, of course, but you know what I mean.

But where I'm going with this (again) is that once you grab onto your own internal logic (which is where the introspective work leads to!) and know what makes you click and how your own metrics and parameters of motivation work, it becomes much much easier to have a healthy mental state and keep it healthy. This, in my opinion, should be the long term objective of any good therapy: To at least start your user (I don't really use the term "patient") on this road. I'm making it sounds all sunshine and rainbows, but introspective work worth having does entail having to look at the uglier parts of yourself and acknowledging them, hence why not a lot of people see it through. It takes commitment and guts because you very much do reach a point where you need to look at these things that are awful and be like "yes, this, too, is me" before you can start going into how to turn these into advantageous things instead.

Likewise, the therapy I do tends to have this as goal: Let's work this shit together so we can organize it in a way that's easier to handle for starters, and then you can have a very good grip on the reins of what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad, and so can easily dispel the brain fog by simply consulting your inner blueprint. Each user is a whole different journey, and it's part of what makes psychology such a beautiful field.

[luciddownloading]

Sun in the 7th House 💘

With this natal placement, you are seen as Wife or Husband material. Even from adolescence, you will have classmates crushing hard and dreaming about being your Mr/Mrs. The irony is that many 7th House Sun people have no interest in marriage or commitment; at least, during a particular part of their lives. Contrary to popular belief! BUT, it often takes either a special person or a renewed outlook on love to change this belief. You are like a character out of a rom-com. Either you are constantly looking for love or you are very much not looking for it but it finds you and totally changes your life.

Did I mention you get people in their feelings? Because you attract a ton of romantic attention. You have a lot of options and love interests, whether you realize it or not. Remember that the Sun's impact in our life is something we may not be too conscious of. So, you might get constant stares, be flirted with regularly or have people head over heels and not truly realize it. But, you're highly attractive and you're better off just owning it. It doesn't make you cocky. In fact, a significant issue that some 7th House Sun people have is not wanting to ever act or think that they're better than others. Yet, in the process, you can prevent yourself from being your fullest self.

You do have remarkable confidence, though, which is the contradiction here. It's just not confidence in the "showy" or boastful way others assume. Some people think confidence means taking up all the air in the room or putting others down to make themselves feel big. You observe these types of people and either dislike them or feel sorry for them. And as a result, you then attract them. An ex who's an egomaniac. A former best friend who was weirdly competitive with you. The light and charisma that drew you to them can end up burning, like flying too close to the sun.

These kinds of relationships are meant to show you a part of yourself. The truth is that your own formidable charisma is often viewed as a threat. Others may perceive you as more liked than them or more attractive than them and, when you're unaware of this, it can draw in people with insane egos who either want to knock you down or have your specialness rub off on them. Not everyone is as supportive or egalitarian as you are, as you think there's room for everyone to shine. But, you may not realize this until one of those unfortunate relationships.

Don't let those kinds of people deter you, though. Only people who can genuinely gas you up and be happy for your success need apply. This is how you know you've found a true equal in a best friend or romantic partner, as you are capable of doing the same for others. This is often something people find really appealing about you. You're such a giver and you deserve someone who will happily pour back into you.

You are as amazing of a best friend as you are a partner. People can desire and idealize platonic closeness with you in the same way people desire and idealize romantic connection with you. That's actually an ongoing issue in your life. People do put you on this pedestal. The 7th House is the house of projection. So, the often isolating thing you experience is getting a lot of attention but not feeling truly SEEN. People just see that romanticized vision of you. Even seemingly positive projections can be frustrating.

But, people might also not realize the insecurities you deal with because of being put on this unwanted pedestal. That fear that people don't really like you for you. They just see someone so desirable, so self-assured and likable, who seems to have it all. In many ways, only the people closest to you who are a lot like you will see you clearly. This is also because people can easily project their own traits on to you, whether positive or negative, even if it isn't an accurate picture of you. Or they may see their own positive or negative potential within you and having a strong reaction to you because of that. Idolizing you or lashing out at you, as 7th House Suns can also attract a certain amount of envy or opposition just for being themselves.

Clearly, having this placement is like being a mirror or a walking hall of mirrors. People see only what they want to see in you. But, that's only more reason for you to know and love yourself deeply.

Recognizing your impact on others is the source of your power. Know that you can shift a room as soon as you enter it. Not loudly but comfortably. Let yourself receive and enjoy the attention you attract. Don't be afraid to flirt and use your potent charm. You can get almost anyone googly-eyed or on your team if you want. But, not as a manipulator. As a leader. Because you have spent so much time not feeling validated and seen, you excel at making others feel validated and seen. Your people skills are superb and, in spite of what you may think, most people have a lot of love for you.

[lightparty-fullparty]

Oh, would you look at the time? It's me having thoughts about Zenos O'clock.

This time, I want to break down what I think the central concept of who and what Zenos is. And why he lives in my brain rent free.

At his core, Zenos is a character who does not understand, nor is himself understood by other people. I don't think that's a very controversial or even new thing to say. It's repeared and reinforced at several points during the narrative, across multiple expansions. Lyse does not understand him at the Royal Menagire, Varis does not understand him at Garlemald, Jullus does not understand him at Camp Broken Glass.

They do not understand who Zenos is as a person. What he values, or what he cares about.

Zenos is shaped by absence. An absence of purpose, motivation, drive. An absence of connections, friendships, love.

Let's break it down.

The Absence of Purpose:

This is his boredom. What fuels his need to find a challenge. That spark of something, anything, to break through the utter tedium of his daily life. The short story claims that he has always been incredibly gifted. Learning and absorbing information with little effort and incredible speed. Before his new swordsmanship instructor, Zenos has never found anything difficult to do. He has not been sufficently challenged. Nothing has managed to retain his interest because he has mastered it too easily. He is a child, and he is tired of his life.

The encounter he had with the Corvosi tutor/assassin was the first instance where Zenos failed to achieve something immediately. Where he had to exert mental and physical effort. Where he developed a desire to overcome repeated instances of failing.

This is why he is desperate to recreate that feeling of challenge. Why he thinks that combat is the only available source he has. Because nothing, absolutely nothing else up to this moment, has done what his instructor did. Made him fail. Made him feel.

What this does to his outlook is narrow Zenos' world view. It gives him a single desire to recreate the feeling of motivation and drive he had towards finally besting his instructor. This is why I think Zenos was content to go along with the Empire's conquest of Eorzea and the rest of Hydalyn. Because it gave him the opportunity to battle. To test himself against other warriors who maybe, just maybe, would give him the same feeling his instructor did.

Nothing else mattered because nothing else made Zenos feel much of anything. It was all the same. Tedious. Bording. Easy.

To Zenos, the pursuit of a person's goal doesn't require any greater justification other than "It's what I want to do." You do things because they serve your greater purpose. You eat to keep yourself alive so you can train, so you can be strong enough for combat. That's it. There is no enjoyment, no pleasure, to be found in the daily living of life. The only moment of catharsis is finally reaching the end.

Zenos does not care about why the Empire is conquering the world. The Emporer simply wants to, that's it. To Zenos, all of the reasoning of "making the world better" of "spreading the glory of Garlemald" does. Not. Matter. Because it does not change the core belief that people do things because they want to.

Jullus asks him why? Zenos asks him why that even matters. People do things because they want to or because it allows them to achieve the thing they want. That's it. That's all. There is never a greater meaning than that. No dressing it up in philosophy or politics. It won't change the outcome of the actions. It doesn't affect anything at all. The dead are still dead. Zenos still wants his fight. Garlemald still wants its glory.

Jullus here is confronted by Zenos' nihilism. The realization that there is no justification. No meaning. Not for Zenos. Not for Garlemald. Not for anything. The reason is meaningless because the reason doesn't change a single damn thing.

And yet. How can we say that the reason never matters? Never changes things? How can we look at FFXIV as a story and say that this is right?

Reason is everywhere. Reason gives context and produces empathy. Understanding. Of course, you resent the outcome less when you understand that the problem was caused by someone trying to help. To make something positive. That it was a simple mistake instead of a purposeful act of harm.

This is where the second absence comes into play. This is where tragedy lies.

The Absence of Connection:

Zenos has no friends. No family bonds. No companionship. No understanding of other people. He sees people only in terms of his own goal. Weak and boring. Or strong and interesting. His emotional range is severely restricted. Fluctuating between bored or frustrated. Anything else only comes to the front after his encounter with the Warrior of Light. Where a faint hope is sparked that this person might just be the one to challenge him. This blazes to life at the Royal Menagire, and Zenos spends the rest of the game chasing that fading comet.

The short story shows us a bleak view of Zenos' life as a child. His mother is dead, and he has no memory of her. His father is absent, dismisive, and uncaring.

The servants and staff around are mere robots to Zenos. Implying they have little to no personal interaction with him. Or are so chained by the rules of Garlean High Society that they can not interact with him or risk punishment. On top of this, I believe that Zenos was also being taught due to the war propaganda, that these servants (possoble taken from conquered nations) were lesser. Were not people. Were to not be seen and not be spoken to.

His tutors were boring. Since lessons were easy and rote. Other children held no interest because Zenos was so far beyond them mentally. I imagine that given his genius that the average child his age must have seemed like a toddler to him. Zenos has never had a peer. Someone of equal standing. Someone he could connect with or was able to empathize with. I highly doubt that anyone else around him found lessons and training to be so easy. Who found living itself to be dull.

Zenos IS an island. Zenos IS alone. And this affected him deeply. He has never learned what a healthy connection with someone else is. His emotional development was so utterly stunted and warped that it left him unable to empathise. To Zenos, his life has been so empty of warmth and care for him that he is unable to feel that towards other. Due to this, he can not understand motivations outside of his own narrow scope. To Zenos, life has never had any meaning, outside of his pursuit of challenge. Whereas others around him, who struggle, who fail, have always had this deep rooted purpose of striving to improve and succeed. Their dreams and goals pushing them forwards because it doesn't come easy. So here we have this isolated, empty, genius. Who has never struggled, has never managed to connect with anyone. Chasing desperatedly after the one, singular person in his life who managed to change that. it's so important that he called the Warrior of Light his 'First Friend'. The first person Zenos has been challenged by, who has sparked insterest. Who he has connected to. I do believe that, as least for the 'cannon events' of FFXIV, the Meteor Survivor Box Art timeline, the Warrior of Light does have things in common with Zenos. The enjoyment of a good fight. A want to face tough opponents, to seek greater and greater challenge. Zenos sees this, and for the first time in his life, he is able to in part understand someone else. He is only able to return this gift of purpose and connection in the same way he recieved it. By throwing himself at the WoL in combat. To try and recreat that spark he felt. This is also the reason, I think, that Zenos didn't change his approach after he resurected into EleZenos. I don't think he ment to come back. It was an accidently biproduct of the Resonant. Zenos was suddenly faced with the possiblity that he was now immortal, and I think the implication that his life of utter tediom would never end drove him to chase the WoL all the harder. He needed something to give him meaning and purpose, or be faced with a bleak eternaty forevermore.

This is what Alisiae is able to see. Past all of Zenos' outward neutrality and boredom, she saw that desire in him to keep that connection with the WoL. That's why she called him out on it, becuase Zenos did not understand himself and his emotions enough to idenitfy what it was he really wanted. A friend.

[sleepysamy]

Your current situation💗

THE PILES (Choose the pile which you feel the most attracted to. Feel free to choose more than 1 pile):

Pile 1

For those who have chosen pile 1, you guys have set a new foundation in your life . It could be that you have started with a new project, routine, business, or invested in something new to you . This necessarily does not have to be in physical aspects , it could also mean that you have started to work developing a better and healthy mindset for yourself, chose to do something fun . Whatever you have currently started or you are planning to start will surely take off after some time . I see that you had been planning to take this step for a long time but kept on procrastinating as if it was not the right time .If you have not done it yet, don't wait for long . You should start immediately! If you came to this reading to know if you are on the right path, then the answer is a big YES! KEEP FOLLOWING WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR MIND. This idea or plan of yours will surely come into fruition, and you will be blessed abundantly of what you expect the results to be . If you have been working on manifesting a certain thing currently , that thing will manifest in the 3d very soon. GO AHEAD PILE 1! YOU WILL HAVE AMAZING THINGS WORKING OUT IN YOUR FAVOR.

Note- The pile you chose had Amethyst as the crystal, which tells that you should trust your intuition rather than external validations . You should also take steps to improve your self-confidence. You also need to ground your energy well to reap benefits . Do lots of meditation to strengthen your third eye chakra . It will help you a lot in this period.

Song for you:

Channeled messages: Frisbee, Go-getter, Right now, Lovesick, Freelancing, Back to Pavillion, Nasty af , Eat fruits , Go gym , Join the art class.

Pile 2

Hi Pile 2s, Life has been going shitty these days, right? You might have recently gone through a breakup , I am sorry, but it can be the loss of a loved one , or perhaps you have not been satisfied with where you are currently in your life. You blaming yourself over things. Self criticizing over small things that happen in your daily life. You also might have to face a situation in the future, which is making you really, really nervous about how you are supposed to handle it . But let me tell you, sometimes it's only our mind, which makes a simple situation worsen just because of the negative and scary thoughts we get inside. And trust me, whatever you are scared of facing is not that tough. You are making it out to be . Let go of your negative self - limiting beliefs and have a positive outlook towards life. You might also be currently dealing with anxiety and stress due to upcoming deadlines, projects you need to finish( additional message I got ). You might have had conflicts with your family members, freinds, colleagues which is causing you to overthink about what you could've done better to improve the situation? How can you get back to the same pace again. The answer lies inside you , sorry, but the answer is not crying but to face this situation with courage and fearlessness. I know you can and you will do it . You have all its takes to get over this . This time shall pass very soon . Nothing ever stays constant. Time is always moving . YOU GOT THIS PILE 2!

Note- The crystal you chose is a Golden Sunstone .This means that you need a new positive approach to life . You might be struggling with a creative blockage because I think your sacral chakra's flow is blocked. This is the reason you may get stressed easily . You can check on guided meditations on YouTube to overcome this . You can also try on positive affirmations.

Channeled messages: Naina, Pearl, Hunt, Thirst, Lying, Easy-going, Eat out.

Pile 3

Hi Pile 3s , so you are currently experiencing a massive transformation in your life. You are transforming into a beautiful new being . It's not that you are changing yourself . But you are just returning to your most authentic and true self . You are starting to recognize your own power. You are evolving and growing like a butterfly . It is a stage of metamorphis in your life where you are the caterpillar who faces struggles and endured pain( physical or mental). You might have let people walk all over you in the past . You left those people. Now, you have begun to establish healthy boundaries and stand strong . It can also be for some people who were sick for a long period of time and know they are getting well ( I get anorexia). You could have also struggled with an identity crisis before, but know you are out of it. You might be going through a spiritual awakening right now. You are vulnerable right now , you have surrendered to the universe , and you've learned how to let go . You have also started to accept the darkest parts within yourself, which felt unsettling uncomfortable for you. You are not taking anyone's shit now. You are so done with everything that you realise it is of no use. You realised you were draining your energy and time with being around with those people who don't care about you. Just like a Phoenix who burns and raises from its ashes. You are in the in-between phase of figuring things out in your life where you are still trying to sort out things for yourself, but DONT WORRY THE UNIVERSE IS WATCHING OVER YOU . THEY GUIDE IN EVERY STEP THAT YOU TAKE. You will soon enter into a phase where you will welcome healthy connections, love, and opportunities . THIS PERIOD OF YOUR IS VERY CRUCIAL, AND YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION TO THE SIGNS ALL AROUND YOU.

Note- The crystal that you picked is a black tourmaline, which is for protection from negative energies ,bad luck, and grounding. You might want to consider rituals to protect your energy or meditate to protect your energy from your surroundings.

Song for you:

Channeled messages champagne, crossover road ,wet sweater, sympathy, Simon says , who cares, pain, will I pretty , I am your mother you listen to me

Pile 4

Similar to pile 2, but the energy of pile 2 was intense, Yours is much more light-hearted and fun-going. I feel like you have forgotten to enjoy your life . Your mind is so involved in a daily hustle that it has forgotten to take a chill pill, man. Like you really need to relax . You are just taking life too seriously . Have fun, come on, it's summer . You are in the energy of constant pushing and pushing. You have a constant need to excel in things, whether it's exhausting yourself completely to achieve it. Sometimes, you forget about your own well-being in order to complete a task ( WORKAHOLICS FRR🤦‍♀️). You need to let loose . Learn how to receive . You are too much in your masculine energy, right now? You need to let things flow. Forget about the future. See what's in front of you. Observe the nature, the birds, the trees, the people around you. OBSERVE THEM. TALK TO THEM . GO OUT SIS/BRO . PARTY . JUST RELAX AND YOULL SEE EVERYTHING AROUND YOU TURNS OUT IN YOUR FAVOR. I didn't get much for your pile because actually you shouldn't be here being so concerned over silly things about whether am I going right or not . Will this do or that do. Dude, just chill . Seriously, just take a deep breath . You need a break, sweety.

Note- Your pile had a yellow moonstone that soothes the aura and brings the best out in people. It also provides emotional and intuitive support. I feel you need to go a spa session to get facial , massage, or something. It will help you ease your energy. You need to take care of your skincare routine and do lots of self care. It will rejuvenate your energy.

Channeled messages: I didn't hear anything for your pile.

[fraddit]

I saw this gifset by @whosoldherout and felt like it dovetailed nicely with a collection of screenshots I already had tucked away for an ephemeral "I've connected the dots..." sort of meta that I never fully got my head around writing. So, I'm just going to dump everything on the table, so to speak, and see what happens.

I call this the Evan "but I didn't" Buckley collection:

With Ali after the truck bombing in 2.18

With Maddie after the pulmonary embolism in 3.01

With Taylor after the crane climb in 4.14

He can't really say "But I didn't" anymore, can he?

This is interesting to me, because if it were someone else, this sort of thing could be seen as a pretty positive and well adjusted outlook. Nothing bad actually happened, so there's no need to dwell on any horrible might-have-beens. Like the inverse of Bobby's "Don't go borrowing trouble."

But instead, with Buck, it seems to be a sort of defense mechanism. A refusal to face one part of reality by focusing on a very specific other part of reality, on the fact that he didn't die. As long as he didn't die, everything is fine and everyone should all just move on like nothing happened at all. Like maybe this is Buck's version of Eddie's "Brush it off and keep moving forward." Or perhaps it's an easy way for him to excuse choices and behaviors he doesn't want to look at or change.

idk, I'm not sure how much of this is actually clicking for me. Like I said, ephemeral. I've connected the dots, but how or to what, I'm not fully sure.

We also see a glimpse of it in 4.14, this time being used externally toward Eddie:

When Eddie starts the talk by bringing up how he almost died in the shooting and even other times he almost died, Buck interrupts him. He tries to derail what Eddie's talking about to the point that Eddie has to put his foot down about it:

But even after that, once Eddie brings up the well

Buck can't help himself. He has to interject again with this reminder that Eddie didn't die. And I feel like it's at least in the same neighborhood as the "but I didn't" examples above. A sort of willful refusal to entertain even just basic discussion of bad-things-that-didn't-happen.

Again, this isn't anything approaching a fully coherent thesis. But needless to say, I'm very excited to see what happens with the upcoming death doula plot, because I feel like this is something that has perhaps been building for a lot longer than just the lightning strike.