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johnsamericano · 3 years

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𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥

Hi everyone! As promised, here’s one of the two most voted fic continuations. There will be more chapters to this story though I'm not sure how many yet. Thank you for reading!

warnings: sugar daddy jae, mentions of injuries and hospitals, language.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv

Sugar rush m.list.

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the quiet hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

Where did everything go wrong?

Your string of thoughts was cut off by a call from your aunt.

“Hello?” Your voice was raspy from not using it. There was no one to talk to in the quiet, hospital room but the nurses, who weren't especially keen on chatting.

“How’s your dad, sweetie?”

“They let him out of ICU, but he doesn't look good to me.” Your fingers traced the cuts in his chiseled cheeks that would soon turn into scars, ruining his perfect skin. Your eyes then diverted to his head, thoroughly covered in bandages to protect his damaged skull.

“Honey, I've got bad news...”

“They rejected the case, didn't they?”

“Not precisely.” She deeply inhaled before continuing. “It’s a tough case, almost impossible to win, nonetheless, they're willing to take it. But their fee is a little...”

“Expensive.”

“Yes.”

As expected from the best firm in town, they wouldn't take less than $8,000. Your bank account didn't have enough money to even cover half of it, and with your job at the convenience store, you'd only earn so much to cover your expenses.

“We can take the lawyer that the government provides us with, it would be free.”

“But then I'm sure we’d lose.” You groaned in frustration, using your free hand to rub your forehead. “Don’t worry, I'll find a way to get the money.”

“Why don't we just accept the compensation they're offering? It could pay for the hospital bills and you'd still have some left to pay for your tuition.”

“That would be like putting a price on my father's life. I don't want their money, I want them to make themselves responsible for what they've caused.” The sound of wheels approached the door of your father's room, signaling the nurse was outside with his meds. “It’s okay, Auntie, I'll take care of everything. You can go back home, I know my uncle isn't doing so well.”

“Are you sure, darling?” It was undeniable that she wanted to head back to her little ranch fat away from the hectic city life to take care of her sick husband, but still, her brother was laying down on a hospital bed, fighting for his life.

“Yes, I'm an adult, I'll find a way.”

“Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to call me if you're having any difficulties. I'll be there in the blink of an eye.” She said before sending a kiss into the speaker, proceeding to hang up.

You sighed. It was never usual for you to ask for help, as you were an extremely prideful and independent person, and you doubted this time would be different.

“Don’t worry, dad. Everything will be alright.”

Three failed job interviews and one more to go. Your feet were killing you, the high heels covering them already worn out from walking to avoid taking the bus. Every penny counted, and as long as your legs worked, you weren't spending any more money than what was necessary.

You sat down in the waiting room of the company, massaging your neck to relieve some tension. College was becoming a burden. Maybe you'd take a semester off to focus on working, that is if someone wanted to hire an inexperienced student.

“Y/n, Y/l/n?”

“Here.” You darted up, gathering your belongings to enter the room on which your life almost literally depended.

You gave all the right answers, earning a polite ‘we’ll contact you’ in return. But you could see that they weren't convinced with your lack of experience, no company in their right mind would be.

As soon as you arrived at your apartment, you slid out of the uncomfortable pencil skirt, tucking yourself under the covers with your phone screen almost hitting your nose.

To take your mind off things, you decided to watch some videos. Halfway in, an ad popped up, interrupting the interior deco video you were watching.

A picture of a girl about your age hugging an older man was right in the middle of your screen. Written with fancy letters, the words ‘make your life simpler’ could be read, followed by what you guessed was the title of the app. Sugar rush.

Out of pure curiosity, your finger tapped at the small icon that led to the app store, absentmindedly clicking the download button. A few seconds later, an icon with the letters ‘SR’ was added to your home screen.

“Log in?” You murmured out loud, squinting your eyes to adjust your eyes to the bright, white homepage.

Just as you were about to click out, the phrase from the ad reappeared, stopping your finger from moving any further.

You could always delete your account if something went wrong, right? Nonetheless, you decided to use a false name, and that's how Melanie Kim’s profile was created. You left the circle of your profile picture empty for now, only filling the spaces that asked about your likes, dislikes, age, and all that stuff that people care about so much.

You knew what the app was for, but that didn't stop you from being surprised when a list of men and women of different ages greeted you. Right then, a small rectangle obstructed your sight, two buttons offering opposite things.

‘Pick the role you'd like to develop.’

Sugar daddy/mommy / Sugar baby.

Clearly, you didn’t have nor the money or the years to be the first, so you clicked the opposite button without giving it more thought.

‘Welcome. You've been registered as a sugar baby at Sugar rush. Meet thousands of men and women willing to finance you for free!’

You hummed.

‘As we're always looking to make our users’ experience better, we've developed Sugar Rush premium, a membership to meet the richest and hottest people in your surroundings. Get the premium version for only $5.95 a month. Click here to get Sugar Rush premium.’

Your finger pad was dangerously close to the blue button, almost grazing the screen of the phone. It was then when you were pulled out of your trance, blinking as if just then you'd realized what you were doing.

“I must be crazy.” You turned off your phone, not bothering to turn on an alarm for the next day. You had no interviews left. You had nowhere to go.

Waking up was getting harder with every passing day. Not being able to call your dad to go out for breakfast or even sending a simple good morning message hurt you deeply. You missed him. But seeing him laying down on a hospital bed, unable to do anything by himself, was even worse.

Ding

A notification filled the silence in your room.

‘Come back, you haven't finished setting up your account yet!’

You scoffed at your past self. What were you even thinking when you downloaded the app?

You simply turned off the phone before standing up to take a relaxing shower. As the water soaked up your tense body, your mind started wandering off back to the app. A million what-ifs filled your head, nonetheless, there was one that remained the most persistent.

‘What if this can pay for a lawyer?’

Your part-time job surely couldn't, and you had no one to assist you financially speaking. The whole idea of paying that ridiculous membership seemed more tempting as your fingers started getting wrinkly under the showerhead.

You decided to take some time to consider it, after all, you still had a week to give the lawyers an answer.

Hot soup seemed like a good option to comfort you, and thankfully, there was a store right in front of your place that claimed to sell the best soups in town.

It wasn't bad, but not nearly as good as the one your dad cooked when you were a kid. You sighed, wondering if you'd ever be able to eat it again. Just then, a woman about your age came into the shop, carrying a couple of bags where names of popular brands could be read. A pinch of jealousy made your heart stir as you glanced at yourself through the reflection in the glass at your side. You looked devastated, your skin pale and your cheekbones slightly sunken, a sign of the lack of rest and food you'd been getting.

Out of pure impulse, you pulled out your phone, clicked on the app you'd recently downloaded, and finally accepted the charges for a premium membership.

‘Welcome, new member of our wide community, click ok to get started!’

Well, no turning back now.

Right after pressing the blue letters with your thumb, you were presented with a list of potential prospects, some of them including pictures, some of them only including name and a brief description of what they were looking for. The minority included their ages, but most left the space blank.

A bunch of old men looking for a youthful, pretty woman to be by their sides, some of them even went as far as writing the weight and height their ideal partner should have. Of course, there were also some women in the look for young meat, but the number of men overpassed them.

About to exit the app in defeat, a profile caught your eye. His pale pink hair was parted, allowing his thick eyebrows to stand out. His high cheekbones made him look like a statue, the details in his face almost too perfect for a mere human. He must be the incarnation of a Greek God, you thought.

‘Jung Yoonoh. 41 years old. Owner of N & C.’

“Should I...?” You asked yourself in a voice lower than a whisper.

He has probably gotten hundreds of messages, so what would be the point of sending one yourself? Your eyes scanned the picture over and over again as the remains of your soup started getting cold.

He was probably the only acceptable man in the whole app, so why not give it a try?

You already spent five whole dollars on it, might as well make it worth the money.

‘Hi.’ Sent.

“Holy crap.” You breathed out, regretting every single action that led you to take such a stupid decision. “Ah!” You squeaked as three small dots appeared beside his profile picture, signaling he was writing a reply.

What if he rejected you right from the beginning? God, that would be so humiliating. His message stopped your train of thought.

‘Hi!’

Followed by:

‘How are you?’

Sweating like a pig, thank you for asking.

‘Fine. You?’ Read.

‘Thrilled. No one had messaged me since I created my account two weeks ago.’

‘How is that possible?’ You imprinted your thoughts on a message.

‘It’s hard to trust people nowadays. I guess people might think either my picture is photoshopped or I'm lying about my job.’

‘Their loss, ig.’ Read.

He was taking some time to answer. Had you said something inappropriate?

‘Hahaha.’

The conversation stopped there, as you didn't know how exactly to answer his message. But a few minutes later, another text from him popped up at your chat.

‘If you're okay with it, we can start talking about a possible arrangement.’

Already? You've known each other for like five minutes. But then again, arrangements were the whole purpose of the app.

‘Sure.’

‘May I ask your reasons for joining the app?’

‘I need urgent money, but my job doesn't pay nearly enough.’ You omitted the part of your agonizing father, he didn't need to know that. ‘And you?’

‘I need someone to be my partner at public spaces.’

‘Alright.’ Read.

‘Do you happen to have some free time tomorrow at lunchtime? I think it’d be better to meet first before making any decisions.’

‘Yeah, I'm free.’

‘Great, I’ll send you the address.’

You thought a day would be enough to prepare yourself, but time passed by quicker than usual, and soon enough, it was time to get ready for your meeting with Mr. Jung. He was only a few years younger than your father, and calling him by his first name wouldn't feel right.

Unsure if you should wear something formal, you threw on a beige (the color you'd agreed on wearing so it’d be easier to recognize each other) summer dress, pairing it with the gold hoops you'd inherited from your grandma to make it look more elegant.

The hardest part of your routine was makeup. Your sunken cheeks couldn't be covered, and only after a few layers of blush and highlighter, you could bring your skin back to life.

On your way to the cafe, you went through the things you'd say when you met him. It was your chance to get your father what he needed.

You stood at the entrance with wide, scared eyes, shyly scanning through the place to look for your date.

“Melanie?” A hand on your shoulder had you jolting. “I’m Jung Yoonoh, nice to meet you.”

What you saw after turning around was breathtaking. A handsome, healthy man, with the most beautiful pair of dimples.

“Nice to meet you.” You managed to blurt out without stuttering, extending your hand to make the greeting more formal. The fake name didn’t seem necessary anymore. “It’s actually y/n, I didn't want to use my real name.”

“I understand. Let’s take a seat.” He offered with a kind smile.

He left you seating at the terrace while he made your order, a latte, and a chocolate cookie. Your fingers played with your hoops anxiously, trying to regulate your breath.

“They’ll bring our food in just a sec.” He offered a warm smile. “Your dress is pretty.” Yoonoh said out of nowhere.

“Thank you.”

“I see you're not a chatty person.” You were about to object, but he started speaking again. “It's not a bad thing! I usually talk a lot, so it’s a nice way to balance things.”

You nodded, seemingly uncomfortable with the man sitting in front of you.

“So, uhm, this is my first time doing this, so I'm not really sure where to begin.” He pulled out a folded paper from the front pocket of his dressing pants. “It’s a bit creased, but I can always print another one. I brought it so you could take a look and let me know if you wanted to change anything. I don't mean to pressure you, but you said it was urgent, so...”

You read the paper under his attentive gaze, making sure not to miss a single word. Everything seemed correct, except...

“Six months?”

“Is that too much?” A small wrinkle formed between his eyebrows, a sign of deep concentration. “Okay, so let's do this instead.”

He took back the contract, pulling out a pen from the pocket in his dressing shirt to correct the original stipulations.

“Four months, and if by the end of them you don't absolutely hate me, we can extend the time. Deal?”

“Just one more thing.”

You cleared your throat, conscious that your following words might jeopardize the whole arrangement.

“Are you sure you want to make it official already?” You had to stop for a moment as the waiter left your orders on top of the wooden table. “I mean, it's not that I have a problem with it, but it's your money and maybe you'd like to give it a better thought.” You resumed.

“The fact that you're concerned about me proves I'm making the right choice. Now, tell me, how much would you like to receive as a weekly allowance?”

Would it be too reckless to ask him straight up for the $8,000?

“H-how much are you willing to give me?” You felt dirty, accepting a stranger’s money like that.

“Whatever you need.” His hand suddenly reached forward to yours, causing every ounce of blood in your body to rush to your face. “There’s no need to be embarrassed, I'm here to help you.” His voice tone dropped, acquiring an almost soothing feeling.

“I need eight thousand by Thursday, next week.” His eyes were wide open, mouth having difficulties remaining closed. “I-I know it's too much, but...”

“I can find a way to give you that money, but I'd like to know the reason why you need it. Just to make sure it's nothing illegal.”

You puffed your cheeks, trying to find an excuse good enough to justify the amount of money you were asking for.

“It isn’t illegal, is it?”

“No!” You retrieved your hand from below his, now embarrassed at the possibility of him having a bad image of you. “I need it for my father.”

“I suppose you don't want to talk about it.” He started at his palm, lips pressed in a thin life. “But when it comes to arrangements like this, we need to trust each other, alright?” You barely knew each other, yet, he demanded to know a very personal detail of your life. Not that he didn't have a good reason for wanting to know, it wasn't a particularly small amount of money.

“He had an accident at work...” You started, fearful of looking up to find pity in his eyes. “I need a lawyer to make his company legally responsible. They intend to throw it under the rug and pay a somewhat decent amount of money to make it go away. The firm I intend to hire is supposedly the best in town, probably my only chance of getting justice.”

“And why don't you just accept it? There's no guarantee that your lawyer will win the case.” You fisted the delicate fabric of your dress, eyes watering as you tried to hold back your anger.

“My father’s life is priceless, and if you think what I'm doing is a waste of money, then fine, we can both look for someone else to help us.” It sounded more aggressive than you'd first intended, but you meant every word that came out of your mouth.

Before you could even stand up, his slim fingers had already wrapped themselves around your wrist.

“I never said that.” He whispered with an almost sad tone. “Come on, sit down.”

He tugged at your arm the slightest, showing off his charming dimples once again.

“I’ll give you the money on one condition...” He raised one of his thick eyebrows. “I’ll go with you to see the lawyer.”

“Why...?”

“That’s my condition, take it or leave it.”

“Okay.”

The days before your meeting with your potential lawyer were nerve-wracking. You'd seen Yoonoh another time to sign the contract, which finally made your arrangement official.

You’d visit your father every day, always hoping he'd be sitting with his arms wide open, ready to hug you. But nothing had changed ever since he first came into that room.

“I’m here to see Mr. Kim.” The secretary's gaze lingered on Jaehyun a few seconds before he finally snapped out of it. “Y/n Y/l/n.”

“Just a second.” He opened his agenda and quickly found your appointment. With a warm smile, he guided you through the corridors of the building, all the way to the elevator. “It’s the only office on the last floor, I'll be at my desk if you need anything.”

Once again, he shot Jae an uneasy glance before the metal doors slid close.

“What was all that?” To be honest, you couldn't care less. But a small chat might calm your nerves and prevent you from throwing up all over the place.

“What do you mean?” He grinned, pressing the button to the top floor.

“You know what I mean.” You scoffed, annoyed at his evasive behavior.

“We just happen to know each other, nothing special.” Before the conversation could continue, a loud ding resonated through the metal cubicle. “Let’s go.” His hand found its place at the small of your back, pushing you towards the glass door. Through it, you could see a black-haired man reading a pile of documents, occasionally raising a photo to examine it with his gold-rimmed glasses supported at the bridge of his elegant nose.

Jaehyun extended his arm over your shoulder to knock on the door, earning an almost annoyed ‘come in’ from the man inside.

“Let’s go.” Once again invading your personal space, he reached for the doorknob with you trapped between his arms.

As soon as the door opened, the man raised his eyes from the documents he was checking.

“What are you doing here, Jung?”

“I knew something was off...” You murmured, loud enough for the man at your side to chuckle.

“I brought you a client, you should be happy.”

“Miss y/n, I suppose. Have a seat.” His demeanor completely changed while speaking directly to you. “I spoke with your aunt last week, she explained the details of the lawsuit, but I must say, it isn't an easy case.”

“I know that, but I've been told you're the best firm in town, I know I'll have more possibilities of winning if you're my lawyer.”

“Best firm in town my ass.”

“Be silent or I’ll kick you out of the building.”

That was enough for Yoonoh to zip his mouth. For a while at least.

“I suppose she also told you about our fee.” He pushed his glasses up using his thumb. “We’d also keep 25% of the lawsuit money assuming we win the case, is that okay with you?”

“Yes-”

“Okay, stop.”

“I’ll call security, Jung.”

“Look at me, y/n.” He squeezed your arms. “This clown is trying to scam you...” He pointed his finger at the lawyer without breaking eye contact. “You’d be spending loads of money for someone who isn't even confident in his abilities. It isn't worth it.”

“And I suppose you'd do better than me, then.” The black-haired man scoffed. “If that's the case, then you can both leave. I'm quite busy at the moment.” With a turn of his wrist, he signaled you to leave the room.

You were fuming, stomping out of the building with Jaehyun right behind you.

“I found a great restaurant nearby, we can go there and-”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Calm down-”

“Don’t tell me to calm down when you just fucked up my only chance to give those bastards what they deserve.” The sun was starting to set, yellow light casting shadows over his tender cheeks.

“Can you listen to me for a second?”

“Are you laughing right now?” You bit your lip, hard, trying to hold back the tsunami of tears threatening to come out of your eyes. “Asshole.”

“Ouch.” He furrowed his eyebrows mockingly. Oh, how close you were to punch that pretty face of his. “Can I explain now?”

You remained silent, staring at the ground with the smallest frown between your eyebrows.

“How do you think I know Kim Doyoung?” Before even giving you a chance to answer, he continued. “That son of a bitch has been stealing my clients for ages.”

“Your clients...?”

“He isn't even that good of a lawyer compared to me.” He scoffed with fake arrogance.

“You're a lawyer?!” You slammed your palms into your face, whining at the newly acquired information. “Why didn't you tell me from the beginning?”

“Just wanted to swing by and annoy him a bit. Don't worry, I wasn't gonna let you accept his deal.” He winked playfully.

The sun was now hidden, the sky darkening as the moon rose to take its shift.

“Though I gotta say, I'm kinda offended I wasn't even an option. I'm a pretty great lawyer, you know?”

“Sorry.”

“I’ll forgive you if you join me for dinner. What do you say?”

As you walked into the darkness of the streets, his shoulder occasionally bumping yours, you wondered if meeting him was a casualty. Maybe the world was finally smiling at you.

#nct smut #nct angst #nct fluff #nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct x reader #nct #nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct jaehyun

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keanureevesisbae · 3 years

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sugar sugar - the proposal

Summary: For their second year anniversary, Henry and Becky are going to Rome, Italy to celebrate.

Sugar Daddy!Henry Cavill x Becky Kim (asian OFC)

Warnings: Slight Daddy kink

Wordcount: 2.5k

A/N: GUESS WHO’S GETTING MARRIED??? OUR FAVORITE COUPLE

Masterlist // Sugar Sugar Masterlist // Sugar Sugar the wedding Masterlist //

September 23rd 8 p.m.

The sun in shining, the birds are chirping and the soft breeze brushes through my hair. This is Rome in September and I know that if I said to Henry I would want to go here every September, he’d arrange it for us.

Just like he did now, Henry would arrange the most beautiful presidential suite with a balcony, a jacuzzi and the softest bed you’ve ever slept on. Sometimes I’m afraid I’m getting too spoiled, but when I express my fears to him, he simply leans down, gives me a kiss and tells me I deserve it and should enjoy it.

To spend our second year anniversary in a city like Rome, is something I never imagined. I actually never imagined that I would ever spend an anniversary with someone. Not because I don’t have any faith in Henry and me, but more because I never thought I’d be in a loving relationship, long enough to spend these types of anniversaries together.

The two of us decided that the day we met, would be our anniversary date.

September 23rd. Two years ago we met. Two years ago he changed my life forever and I changed his.

Henry holds my hand tightly in his. ‘I love you,’ he says, kissing the back of my hand.

I chuckle. ‘I love you too, honey. It’s been two years since we’ve met.’

‘Yeah,’ he says, ‘time flew by.’

‘It sure did,’ I say to him.

‘Not only have I gained the best archivist Midnight ever had, but I also got a beautiful girlfriend and I can now say that I’m the boyfriend of a New York Times Bestselling Author with an extra book deal.’

Even after we spend so much time together and we know each other so well, I still blush around him when he hands out compliments like that. ‘That’s so sweet,’ I say. ‘Where are we going?’

‘A nice place I rented. It’s I think a few minutes from here.’

‘You rented an entire place?’ I ask him.

‘Just one floor,’ he says with a shit eating grin on his face, the one he has recently discovered when he shamelessly flaunts his wealth in my face. I want to roll my eyes, but seeing Henry this confident and cocky and happy, makes me laugh as well.

After our first anniversary, a lot changed for the two of us. I still work in the archives, but mostly because I liked it there and it gave me plenty of time to not only work on my first book, but also on my second one. The following February, two weeks before my birthday, my book got released and not long after that, I reached the number three on the New York Times Bestselling list. My book reached number three! My debut novel. It’s unbelievable. It’s all thanks to the magnificent job Roger and his team has been doing to advertise my book to the public. I was never on Instagram, because I didn’t have a phone that would allow it and when I met Henry, I didn’t really think about it anymore. But now, I’m officially on Instagram and while it’s a bit weird, I still really enjoy to see the beautiful fan art and the stories of the readers about what my book did to them personally.

I moved out of my first apartment, since I was hanging around Henry’s place most of the time anyway. I mean, his place has the private gym and we added a sauna to it, because he didn’t forget my joke from a while ago. My pink and pastel influences are shattered around his place now and in his home office, we placed another desk, so we could work together.

Yes, we are that type of couple.

Despite our age gap, I barely notice it in our day to day life. He is in such good shape for someone who is only two years away from hitting fifty and he is really up to date with trends and technology. I mean, call me digital illiterate, because he had to show me how Instagram worked. I don’t want to say he’s old (because it’s obvious he is older than me), but I thought that eventually I would notice the difference in age.

I don’t.

It’s just that sometimes he says something about his grayish hairs, how he isn’t in the best shape anymore and how he needs to watch his food, after a check up. Honestly, I don’t see his “bad” shape. I only fall more and more in love with him. Besides, the second he becomes a complete silver fox, is also the second I will jump him every chance I get.

‘Thank you for taking me to Rome,’ I say. ‘I can’t wait to travel to even more countries with you. I’m such a lucky woman. All those beautiful places in the world, right at my finger tips. Isn’t that amazing?’

‘It sure is.’

‘Is there a place in the world you want to see?’

‘Well, as long as you are there with me, I’d love any place. Besides, I did my fair share of traveling, I’ve seen a lot. It doesn’t matter to me.’

‘You don’t mind that I’m awfully inexperienced with traveling?’

He scoffs. ‘No, of course not. It makes the experience even better. That way I can show you all the beautiful places in the world and see your surprised face.’

We walk into a restaurant and the waiter escorts us to the elevator. We go up and we actually get out on the roof. My mouth falls open, before I squeal. ‘Honey, this is fantastic.’ I give him a kiss and the two of us walk towards the table. He helps me in my seat, before he sits across from me. He pours in some wine for me.

‘You like it?’ he asks.

‘Of course. Everything you arrange for me I love.’ I look over my shoulder, to see the waiter has left. ‘I love what you do for me, daddy.’

He bites his lip. ‘I’m going to sound like a broken record, baby girl, but I love it when you call me like that.’

‘I know.’ I look around, admiring the view and say: ‘Thank you for arranging this for us.’

‘I want the best for my baby girl,’ he says with a smile. ‘Only the best.’ He holds out his hand and I place mine in it. ‘You know, I sometimes can’t believe I actually met you.’

‘Why not?’

‘Well, when I signed up, I only did it because I didn’t want to be alone anymore. Never in a million years I expected myself falling head over heels with you, when the two of us were only supposed to have a sugar daddy/baby thing. But you were just amazing, kind and caring. Beautiful, considerate and funny. I remember when I first laid my eyes on you. I thought to myself: this could actually be it. This could be the woman I’ll fall for and for me to love endlessly.’

That… Is so sweet.

‘I kept thinking about every pro and con. While our personalities matched, you were a lot younger than I were. While I finally had someone who I can give the life she deserves, there is a possibility she’ll never see me as more than just a sugar daddy. It was difficult, because you were more than a sugar baby to me, though I tried to deny that multiple times. The relief I felt when you and I… That we have what we have. That you stayed when I needed you and vice versa.’

I smile. ‘Of course I did, silly. I have never felt this about someone ever before nor will I ever feel about this about anyone.’

Henry nods. ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you,’ he says. ‘I want us to build a future together. I want to buy a house with you, have a dog and tons of kids with you, though it has to be an even number. But before we do that, there is just one thing I need to ask you.’

Henry gets up from the chair, searches his pocket and I see he has a blush pink velvet box in his hand.

Is this what I think it is?

‘My sweet Becky,’ he says, sitting down on one knee, ‘it’d be such an honor if you would become my wife, that you are gonna be mrs. Cavill. Baby girl, will you marry me?’

He reveals such a delicate and beautiful ring to me.

Maybe, maybe, I’m experiencing some shock. I knew that Henry would propose to me one day, he literally told me so many times that he’d propose, but now that it’s happening, I just can’t believe it.

‘Really?’

He smiles. ‘Really, my love. There is no one else in the world I’d want to spend the rest of my life with. You are the only one. My only one.’

I place my shaking hand in front of my lips. ‘Yes,’ I whisper. ‘Yes, yes, yes, a million times yes. I want to marry you, Henry.’

He takes the ring from the little box, before gently sliding it on my finger. I look at it for a few seconds, before I wrap my arms around his shoulders.

‘We’re engaged?’ I ask him.

‘Yes, baby, we’re engaged.’

I press my lips on his, as tears of joy and happiness drip down my face. I’m gonna get married.

‘Oh yeah, our Becky is engaged!’ I look over my shoulder to see Genevieve, Viola, Noah and Greg rushing up to me and is that Gino I see, with Peter from the boutique?

‘Show me the ring,’ Viola says and I hold out my hand.

Noah lets out a whistle. ‘Damn, mister Cavill.’

Gino gives me a big hug and two kisses on my cheeks. ‘Congratulations, darling.’

I can’t believe Henry flew out our friends to Italy, but it totally seems like something he would do. I bet he arranged a private jet for them and the best hotel.

‘We’re getting married,’ Genevieve shouts.

‘Technically, sweetheart,’ Greg says, ‘it’s Becky that is getting married.’

Genevieve rolls her eyes. ‘Well, Viola and I are gonna be bridesmaids and we’re going to plan a wedding. The ring is absolutely beautiful. Really, Henry, you need to help out Greg when he wants to propose to me.’

Henry chuckles, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. ‘I’ll help him out when the time is right, Gen.’ He kisses my temple and says: ‘How about we celebrate?’

✤ ✤ ✤

I keep staring at my ring, mainly because it’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and it’s mine. While Henry’s checking the locks, I’m already in bed. This ring still takes my breath away. It’s gorgeous and I bet it was expensive.

‘There she is,’ Henry says, as he walks in the bedroom in just his boxers. ‘My beautiful fiancée.’

‘I am sure it’ll take awhile before I get used to that,’ I say.

Henry steps underneath the covers and ushers me over. ‘But you’ll always be my baby girl,’ he says. ‘Even when you become my wife.’

I hum in content, as I nestle myself against him, in his strong embrace. ‘Just like you’ll always be my daddy,’ I whisper. I place my head on his thick arm, so I can look up at him and still stare at his handsome face. ‘We need to start planning a wedding. When do you want to get married?’

‘I don’t mind,’ he says. ‘We could even elope.’

‘We’re never going to elope,’ I say. ‘Don’t you ever say that again. I deserve a wedding. Back in juvie, both times, I’d envision myself getting married, buying a house, having a family and growing older with someone. I owe it to teen Becky to have a fantastic wedding.’

He chuckles. ‘Okay, we will not elope. What did you think about back then?’

‘A spring wedding outside,’ I say, ‘with pink blossom trees around us. A tent or a large cabin or something where we’ll get married and afterwards, people can dance, eat and talk to each other. A Photo Booth for people to make pictures on. Disposable camera’s on the tables and a photographer. My friends and their family are there, your friends. I want it to be intimate, but not too small, like maybe fifty to seventy people. I want a wedding dress on the tighter side, but I have never tried on wedding dresses, so I might be surprised. But I want to dress to have little illusion sleeves, a veil and a hairband with diamonds.’

Henry nods in approval. ‘Sounds lovely and that can all be arranged. What do you want me to wear?’

‘Champagne colored suit,’ I say. ‘The bridesmaids dresses could be in a pastel color. Okay, who am I kidding? I want those dresses to be pink.’

‘Of course.’ He lets out a content sigh. ‘We can arrange all sorts of things. Whatever you want for the wedding, it’s yours.’

‘And I want the date and each other’s names engraved in the inside of the ring.’

‘I love that.’ Henry gives me a kiss on my forehead. ‘A lot to plan, but also a lot to look forward to. I cannot wait to call you my wife.’

‘Oh, me neither. And then after that, we can start our life together as a married couple.’

‘At least four kids, right?’ Henry jokes.

‘At least,’ I say in all seriousness.

‘Why don’t you want an uneven number?’

I scrunch up my nose. ‘Because I come from a family of uneven number. I don’t want that. I know, it’s stupid, but…’

‘It’s not stupid, it’s understandable,’ he says. ‘So, for imaginary sake, let’s say you and I have five kids.’

‘Damn.’

‘Imaginary sake, baby girl, remember that,’ he snickers. ‘And then we have twins, making it seven.’

‘We’ll go for the eighth,’ I say to him. ‘Really, Henry.’

He laughs. ‘Wow, you’re quite something.’

‘You’re up for it?’

‘With you? Of course. I can’t wait to have multiple mini you’s and me’s running around to place.’ He pulls me closer and says: ‘You’ll be an amazing mother, I just know it.’

‘And you’ll be an amazing dad.’ I circle my finger around his chest. ‘Would you mind if I stopped working as your archivist and become a stay at home mom, who also writes?’

He shakes his head. ‘Of course I don’t mind. Whatever you want, I support you.’

‘You don’t think it’s weird?’

He frowns. ‘Why would I think it’s weird? Honestly, baby girl, if you wanted to become a career woman, I’d support it. If you want to become a stay at home mom, I also support it. No matter what you do, I’m your biggest supporter and fan.’ He gives me a sweet peck on my lips. ‘Don’t you worry about those things, okay?’

‘Okay,’ I whisper, already a bit more at ease. ‘You know, it has always been my dream to become a mother.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘It’s just that I figured I’d never meet someone who I wanted kids with. With the dysfunctional family I’m from, I wanted a partner who I could trust and rely on. And that partner is you, Henry. My future husband.’

✤ ✤ ✤

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x oc #henry cavill x asian ofc #henry cavill x becky kim #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fandom #sugar daddy!henry cavill #sugar sugar #sugar sugar the wedding #becky kim

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milliedazzledust · 3 years

Text

War Rages On: part 3 (Bucky Barnes imagine)

Words: 2451

A/N: if you don’t want to cry, word of advice, don’t listen to anything remotely sad. I literally have 3 potential endings to this story, don’t know which one I’ll choose. Part 4 will have a lot more action and part 5 will probably be the last. Don’t forget to keep tissue close by while reading ;) - enjoy!

Previously: part 1 - part 2

When Bucky walked inside the building he had once lived in, he felt anxious. Not for himself, but for Y/N. During the two hours his ride in the air lasted, he envisioned a thousand possibilities this could play out. He needed her to make it out of there. Whatever he would have to endure, he’d agree to any kind of torture so long as she was safe. He knew he wouldn’t bear to add her name to his already long list of victims. Her only fault had been to fall in love with him. It couldn’t lead her to death, not like this, not because of him. He would never allow Hydra to break the only pieces left of him she had managed to glue back together.

He knew the place by heart, so finding the cells where they would usually keep all their prisoners was fairly easy. Focused on the task, he was taking slow, measured breaths, watching every step he was making, avoiding the guards and the security cameras. He was silent. A ghost. He stopped at an entrance and sneaked out behind a soldier standing by the door. With a swift motion, he broke his neck and used his badge to access the place. Every movement felt rehearsed, a routine he had done a million times. He was mimicking the Winter Soldier with a perfection that still surprised him. He had almost reached the end of an endless hallway of empty cells when he stopped in his track.

“Y/N” He whispered. There she was on the dirty floor, laying right in front of him. She wasn’t moving and from the distance, she looked pale. Too pale to be alive.

“Y/N!” He repeated louder, not caring if anybody could hear him.

She didn’t answer, didn’t even move an inch. He took a tentative step toward her, afraid of what he would see when he would open the door. He raised his metal arm and grabbed the lock, tearing it apart in a swift motion. The gesture was effortless, the power colossal. He didn’t even blinked, his eyes remaining always on her frail figure. He slowly bent down, trying to ignore the bruises visible through her half-torn shirt and the dried blood everywhere on the floor. He laid a fearful finger on her throat and waited a second. Finally, he released a shaky breath, relieved beyond measure when he felt her heartbeat. She was alive.

Gently cupping her face, he brushed a hand against her cheek. His heart broke when he saw the shadow of a smile forming on her lips.

“Bucky” She muttered in contentment.

“Yes, doll. I’m here”

She didn’t open her eyes but tears slowly coursed their way down her face. Her lips parted and she leaned against his hand, inhaling deeply.

“We have to go, Y/N”

“You feel so real,” She answered. “Why do you feel so real ?”

She sounded upset, but not because of him. She could make out every detail, his scent, his voice, his touch. She wondered what kind of cruel game her subconscious was playing as she let his presence submerge her entirely. He raised his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding that, for her, there was no way he could be there. She had spent the last couple of days picturing him in her mind to ease the pain, to escape the torture. He was the fragment of her imagination keeping her alive. Her last shred of strength.

“Am I dying ?” She murmured. “Is that why you’re here ?”

“Y/N, open your eyes” He demanded with force.

“No..”

“C’mon, doll”

“You’ll disappear. You always do” She sounded broken, on the verge of snapping, but kept them closed.

“I promise I won’t” His voice cracked with every word, overwhelmed by the pain and helplessness when she spoke.

She grabbed his wrist, holding it tightly as she slowly opened her eyes. Her whole body was shaking, afraid the soothing sensation of his skin on hers would be gone and she would only see an empty room once again. It took her a moment to realize he wouldn't disappear and she started sobbing. Her shaky hands cupped his face, wiping his own tears. He gently laid his forehead against hers and she didn’t waste any more time and hugged him. She clung to him, her only safe place, as the battle for the remaining shred of her sanity raged. She tried to catch her breath but it was useless. This was days of emotions bottled up to survive, days of dreaming she could return to him.

“We’re gonna be okay” He kept saying, holding her tightly.

“Bucky …” She choked in despair. This was the safest she had felt in days.

“I’m here, doll”

He swallowed and blinked a couple of times, trying to stay strong and not break down.

“We have to hurry, Y/N” He reminded her after a while.

His voice seemed to bring her back to reality and she suddenly sat up, ignoring the dizziness and the pain it instantly ignited in her body.

“No, no, no, you have to leave!” She started begging, furiously shaking her head and clenched his shirt in desperation. “You can’t be here! You can’t! Please … Please go ”

“Y/N…”

“You don’t understand, they … they want you, Bucky. They’re using me to get to you” She put some distance between them and pushed him away when he tried to get closer. “You have to go”

“Not without you”

“You’re not listening!” She replied, frustrated.

“I am! And I am telling you i’m not leaving without you!”

He stood up and helped her do the same. She couldn’t hold on her own, too weak and tired. She pressed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself and his metal arm circled her waist.

“I’m taking you home”

“I don’t think so” A voice with a thick accent replied behind him.

The former assassin cursed under his breath and was quick to react. He pushed Y/N behind him, hiding her wounded body from the intruder. Suddenly on high alert, he stared at the man he once knew, a man hired by Hydra with the sole purpose of creating new super soldiers. He was the brain behind the Winter Soldier program. The Sergeant subconsciously grabbed the woman by her hip, bringing her as close to him as possible.

“Dr.Faustus” He greeted him without sympathy.

“At last we are reunited, soldier”

Bucky clenched his jaw so tight his veins were now visible. In all the time he had spent away from Hydra, he never thought he would come face to face with the doctor ever again. All their encounters had been turned into a distant memory, another one of his nightmares. The Sergeant was unexpectedly conflicted, like two parts of him smashing against each other for the first time, two very different men colliding together without his consent. The broken one felt scared, powerless, becoming once again a victim, while the assassin was already on the lookout, trying to find his way out of there.

Y/N could feel it. Hidden behind him, she laid her forehead on his back, defeated. His muscles were tensed under the pressure of his emotions and his grip on her hip tightened. She couldn’t contain her terror and silently cried. How could she save him now that they had him back ? What could she do when her body was in no shape to fight ?

“I wouldn’t advise trying to escape” The man spoke.

“You know I don’t back down without a fight” Bucky replied, eyeing the three agents surrounding the doctor. They were outnumbered.

“You might want to reconsider this time” He smirked viciously.

He made a step toward the couple, moving like a snake reading to suffocate its prey by strengthening its hold around their neck.

“Before you think about taking them down,” Hydra’s doctor began, pointing at the agents next to him “You should know she won’t survive. You see, the girl serves no purpose anymore. She was a mean to an end and she played her part perfectly. She got you right where we wanted you to be, up against a wall”

Bucky gritted his teeth in silent fury.

“I’m assuming she means a great deal to you, soldat” He sniggered irritatingly. He seemed to enjoy the emotional torture. “Now the real question is, how far are you willing to take this to save her life?”

Bucky looked around him and just felt a rage he couldn’t explain, a will to survive he never had before. Y/N grabbed the hand on her hip, entwining their fingers, and he closed his eyes. For a short instant, he held onto that comforting sensation, the sense of home she could bring to him by the simplest touch. He remembered the day they met, the exact moment he had fallen in love with her and the day they had promised forever to each other. He had a collection of precious memories they had built, engraved in his heart, and each one of them had the power to lessen his pain and lighten the weight on his shoulders. They needed more time to create their magic, to turn the horror they had endured into sparkles of distant memories. More time to live the life she had given back to him. But even more so, he needed her to survive.

“If I surrender myself, what guarantee do I have you’ll let her go ?” He offered.

“No!” Y/N shouted, trying to move around Bucky. He didn’t have to use much effort to push her back.

The doctor laughed, pleased his plan was working flawlessly. He turned on his heels and nodded at one of the soldiers next to him. The man took a phone out of his pocket and handed it to the former assassin.

“What is this ?” Bucky questioned him, ignoring the pleading eyes of the woman begging him to not give in.

“A message” Dr.Faustus replied. “With coordinates to this place, addressed to your Captain”

“This isn’t enough”

“Press the button and send it yourself, then”

Bucky gave him a wary look but took the phone nonetheless.

“I have a condition” He raised his eyes to stare at the man.

“You are in no position to negotiate, soldat”

“If you want me to follow you willingly, you will listen”

He pursed his lips in annoyance.

“Very well”

Bucky glanced back at his girlfriend, barely holding on her legs but still ready to kill him herself for what he was about to do.

“Let me have a moment with her” He pleaded, his voice deep with emotions.

“If you plan to escape …”

“I won’t” He cut him with a promise he would keep.

He seemed to ponder his options for a moment before he gave a nod, accepting the request. Bucky dropped his head in defeat and pressed the button on the phone screen, sending the message to Steve and praying he would be there soon to get her out of there.

The doctor turned around, gesturing to the other agents. In less than a minute, the room was empty and they were alone for what would probably be their last moment together. Bucky made a step toward the woman, knowing whatever time they had it would never be enough, but before he could do anything she gathered all the strength she had left and slapped him across the face.

“I hate you!” She shouted, tears streaming down her face. “I hate you!”

He had expected her anger but her words still hurt him. He couldn’t begin to understand what she was feeling when his own heart was already being torn apart.

“I had to…”

“Why didn’t you fight ?” She choked. “Why … why did you gave up on us ?”

“I gave up on me!” He told her in a deep voice, quickly closing the distance between them and cupping her face with force. “I’m choosing you over me”

“There is no me without you, Bucky” She muttered

“They don’t know the Winter Soldier is no longer here” He told her, trying to reassure her. “Whatever they have plan for me, it’s not gonna work”

“You don’t know that”

He laid his forehead on hers and a tear on his own rolled down his cheek.

“I know I need you to stay alive. I’ve lived on borrowed time long enough, Y/N, maybe …”

“Don’t you dare!” She cried, pushing him away. She struggled to stay on her feet but she couldn’t seem to care. “I swear to god, Bucky, I will kill you myself if you dare giving up now!”

“Steve is gonna find you and bring you back” He continued.

She shook her head and her eyes grew hot, the tears welling so quickly it was impossible to blink them away.

“Please don’t break my heart” She whispered.

His lips started trembling and he choked on a small but audible sob. Losses after losses, he had shed his own shade of tears, had been broken beyond measure and brought to hell. This was something else. Pain had a sweet taste of horror and self-hatred when it was felt under the power of all his sanity.

“Let me hold you” He begged her.

Despite her anger, she didn’t waste any time and sank her face into his chest, letting him comfort both of them. He kept her close, looking down at her with gleaming eyes, wishing he never had to let go as he tightened his arms around her.

“I love you” He spoke right next to her ear. “Like I’ve never thought it was possible to love. You picked up every pieces of me you could find and glued them back together. You built the man I am today from scratch with your kindness, your resilience and your love. You gave me a second chance, and a second life by your side, and what a life it has been. You are my world, my soul, but most importantly, my home. You will always have me, doll.”

“Don’t say goodbye like that” She muttered, an aching wound opening deep in her chest as the tears kept falling.

“This isn’t goodbye, I’ll make damn sure of that. Wherever you are is where I am too. That’s the deal we made, right ? I’m with you till the end of the line”

“This is the end of our line” She forced up the words.

He raised her chin with a finger to look into her eyes and in that moment they kissed, together in each other's protective embrace.

“It will never be”

“Promise me you’ll give them hell”

“I promise I’ll fight with everything I have”

Tag list below the cut

@briannareneea985 - @bangtanxberm - @kissmyoops - @steve-is-daddy - @tylard-blog1 - @harprs - @animegirlgeeky

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes imagine #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier imagines #the winter soldier imagine #falcon and the winter soldier #Winter Soldier #winter soldier imagine #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier imagines #fatws #tfatws

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livinginncity · 4 years

Text

if we were human

♚: lee rang x reader

❡: fluff??(angst, pure angst)

ⱳƈ: 2.5k

⚠︎: besides it being really bad? none really. like, literally a couple swears. it was fluff, and then it became angst, so...sorry, but not really because if i’m crying, so are you.

children could be heard all around the park. some screaming and laughing as they run behind, others crying after they tripped, only to soon be comforted by the gentle holds and hushed assurances of their mothers and fathers. a bit further away was a small dog park, from which came all kinds of barks and growl, as well as cooing of the passerby. and there at a bench, located slightly closer to the swings and slides attracting the younger humans, sat a man that looked less than pleased to be where he was.

“Guess who.” a female’s voice rang out as a soft hand covered his eyes. he merely rolled his eyes beneath their new coverings and proceeded to drag the small wrist away from his face. “y/n.”

the young woman sneered and scoffed before yanking her hand out of his grasp to walk around and join him on the bench. “I don’t like you.”

“I don’t like you either.” a smack to the back of the man’s head could be felt soon after the words left his mouth. “Yah!”

“What are you doing here anyway? I never took you for the people watching type.”

“That's because I'm not. As if they deserve that much attention.” a hand lazily lifted in the direction of a familiar little boy, the action bringing a smile to the woman’s face.

“Ahhhh. But that one’s the exception? I thought you didn’t like little kids with runny noses, something I heard you have in common with your brother actually. Is that a gumiho thing or a family thing?” the man she addressed turned his head to look at her with an unimpressed look.

“Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much? Or that you ask too many questions?”

“Well considering that was one of the first things you said to me when we met, I’ll just assume you know the answer to that already.”

she turned to look where the man’s gaze had previously been fixed and he followed suit. their eyes moved as they followed the movements of the young boy whose energy seemed to rival that of a puppy’s. ‘how fitting’ was the thought that came to the pair. minutes passed before they changed positions—the girl moving to settle her head on her company’s shoulder. said company shook her off before she repeated the action, leaving her be the second time. and he stayed in place even after she dragged his head to rest upon her own.

“Rang-ah.” the man simply grunted in response, urging her to continue. “I hate this.”

his eyebrows furrowed slightly at the sudden proclamation. “The kids? The families? Parks? I don’t really like them either. The first are messy and demanding, the second is an extremely unrealistic dynamic, and the last are way too loud and crowded.”

“No.” she took in her surroundings before speaking again. “This. I love all of this. I want it all. The kids are adorable and it feels so rewarding to be someone they rely on and look up to. I’ve had my fair share of family drama, but I’ve always wanted my own that I could cherish—pointless fights and all. And parks are probably one of my favorite places because it gives me everything I need to imagine what it’d be like if I had the first two.”

“What?” at her words he lifted his head to look down at her.

“I hate all of this shit that’s going on right now. It was one thing when you were just this occasional menace to your brother, but now the Imugi is involved and Lee Yeon refuses to let Ji Ah go again. It’s caused so many problems and with them, questions to be asked. Things could be so much simpler. Don’t you ever think about what life would be like if we were all human? This would all just be some petty high school drama. Like, Lee Yeon got class president in school and now, years later, both he and Imugi are CEOs competing in the nightclub industry or something like that.”

“You’re starting to sound like Lee Yeon. I guess you’re just as lame as him. Or maybe even lamer because really? That’s the best you can do with this fake drama?”

“Did I ever tell you that I ran into Soo Ho before you got the Tiger’s Brow back from him?” she ignored the questions, but her own annoyed him slightly. before he could respond. “I asked him if I could try them on and walked to the nearest window I could see myself in.”

“So, what’d you see? What were you? A Snake? A rat? Pufferfish?” her only response to his teasing was a pinch to the side. she shook her head before continuing.

“I saw a child.” her face changed to a solemn one. “All I saw was a snot-nosed little kid that the world seemed to have it out for. I didn’t even live long enough to have many firsts. And no one was ever there for the few I did. Well, there was one. Towards the end, I think my final year, I met an old lady. She lived alone, but she took me in the moment we crossed paths. She gave me my own room, let me help her cook, as much as a child could help, and she would always tell me these stories of her husband who had passed about a decade before. In just a few months, that woman gave me what felt like a lifetime of love. All while I was slowly dying, she made me forget the hardships, the neglect, the hatred, and by some cruel fate, she died first. But before she went, she said to me “treat my death as not another result of this terrible world, but take it as a sign that even when we know that our end is inescapable, we are able to cherish the temporary moments in which we are truly happy should we allow ourselves that much.” And so,”

the woman finally lifted her head from the gumiho’s shoulder to look into his eyes. “I think, if I could be reincarnated as a human again, I would. But since it’s probably never gonna happen I want to live like one. Get married, have a family, get mad when someone doesn’t show up for the holidays. I don’t know if I’d make it as a human with everything I know now, and I honestly don’t want to be human right-right now because I probably wouldn’t get to be around you. And I also just can’t imagine how you’d get by without seeing me every day.”

“Don’t act like you’re anything special.” he scoffed and looked back at the playground.

“You don’t have to admit it.” she stood up from the bench, looked over to the young boy he had taken in, and turned back. the woman grabbed his face and, after looking at the man for a few seconds, leaned in. “I know you love me.” and then she ran. “Soo Ho-ah! Let me play with you, that old fox is being mean again!”

“Yah!” he didn’t get up to chase her. she was right no matter how much he thought about it. somehow that weird girl wormed her way into the list of people he more than tolerated. and as he sat alone with his thoughts, he watched her play with the reincarnated boy, the latter seemingly winning their current sword fight.

does he ever wanna be human? no, it seems way too boring. does he like kids? he likes one, so that’s good enough. will he get married at some point? well, it’s just some rings and paper. and it’s not like he isn’t in love with that girl in the park.

bonus;

“Hey, y/n. If you’re watching this then...you know. I figured a couple good deeds might do me well in the afterlife, so what better way than finally letting my brother be with the girl he’s waited hundreds of years for.”

“You crazy bastard.” those were the only words that she could force her mouth to speak as she looked down at the small screen.

“I know you’re probably cursing me right now, thinking ‘this crazy bastard.’” somehow they both managed to let out a chuckle. “You know I don’t like vulgar words, but I’m not there, so i told Soo-Ho to pinch you for me every time one leaves your mouth.”

“Of course you did. It’s already a habit of his now.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye. Especially to you, Yu Ri, and Soo-Ho. I didn’t get to say thank you, either. You’ve all helped me more than I’d ever care to admit, but I really am grateful to have shared part of my life with you. I got to help Yu Ri like Lee Yeon helped me, got to meet Blacky again, and I got to experience so many things with you.”

the tears in her eyes were already brimming and it was clear they wouldn’t stay there long. “y/n.” she looked back to the screen as he called her name.

“go to the nightstand on the right of my bed and open the drawer.” the girl got up from her place at the edge of the bed and walked over to the wooden table. with her phone in her left, she used her right to open the drawer, and she could feel her heartbeat stutter as she laid her sights on the black velvet box that sat in it. she reached a shaky hand to pick it up, and when she flipped it open she couldn’t help dropping the phone as she brought the other to her mouth with a choked sob. all she could do was shake her head and let the tears subject themselves to gravity.

“Do you remember that day in the park?” despite not being able to actually see through the endlessly flowing tears, she managed to scramble around and find the device that had slipped from her grasp. “You were talking about all this stuff like marriage, family, kids—what it’d be like to be human because things would be so much simpler. And while I don’t think anyone could ever convince me that being human would be fun, I figured we could at least do some of those human things. We were kind of halfway there, you know? You practically live in my apartment, and Soo-Ho took over the living room with his toys, so it was only a matter of time for him to get his own room so I could stop stepping on legos—maybe get a door with a lock from the outside so I don’t have to worry about waking up covered in stickers.”

she laughed as she recalled the memory, his interactions with the little boy, and their goofy smiles when things were calm for once. “You dorks were made to follow each other into every life.”

“I was gonna propose to you after this whole thing was over. Once I knew Lee Yeon was safe and not being targeted by a wannabe dragon. I’m sorry I couldn’t give that to you or...our own kid, though I think the one we have now is pretty great. And I’m also really sorry that I’m finally telling you this once it’s too late, but you were right. About what you said that day.” her breath hitched as she saw the tears glisten while they slid down his face. “I love you.

as if it were clockwork, a sob made its way from her throat and the tears began again.

“Yah, stop crying already. Please. I’d be upset if I was the cause of it.” and she tried, she really did, but it wasn’t as easy as he made it sound. “And, I know this is probably asking a lot for all that I’ve put you through, but can you wear it? At least for a little bit. Just think of it as a way of honoring my memory—the better parts obviously. You can keep my apartment if you want, too. Soo-Ho might be a job better-fit for Sin-Ju and Yu Ri, but if he says he wants to stay with you, you better let him.”

another laugh emitted from between the sobs as she listened to his final message.

“I really do love you, y/n. And if there is ever a chance of us finding each other again, I’ll tell you every chance I get. Anyway, I think it’s time for me to go now. I only have a couple more minutes and I don’t think the others are gonna make it in time. I’m scared if I’m being honest, y/n. I’m afraid of being alone, but you helped me not feel like that all the way up to the end—I finally had a family. So thank you. Love you.” and he smiled his big, child-like smile before adding on, “And don’t tell Lee Yeon I said sorry, or thank you, or I love you that much in under ten minutes.”

and just like that, it was over. no more, dumb family feuds, no more naengmyeon with no eggs because someone would always steal it, no more Lee Rang. she stared at the paused screen for what felt like hours before setting it to the side on the bed, to do as he had asked. carefully, she took the ring out from the safety of its cushions and slid it onto her left hand. she let out a shaky breath as she stared at her ring finger and she said it back, hoping that somehow, someway, he would hear it. “I love you too, Lee Rang-ah.”

it was a while before she moved from that spot—getting on her feet only to answer the door that had just rung. opening it, she could have seen the man who had taken the place of Lee Rang’s in the living world, but all she saw at that moment was an older brother who had also lost someone he loved.

“Lee Yeon-ah.” it was then that the male finally took in her appearance. she wore jeans, one of his brother’s sweaters, and her hair was in a bun that had clearly seen better days. but what really caught his attention as his eyes traveled, was the black box in her right hand, and shining silver band on her left. then he lifted his eyes back to hers to see just how tired she was. “Lee Yeon-ah. I miss him.”

the man simply brought her into his chest as she sobbed. and she cried, and she cried, and all the while he stood there with her in his embrace. it was all he could do, he couldn’t offer her words of comfort just yet because, even now she may be much stronger than he is. because she’s strong enough to live without the promise of his reincarnation. she knows she may never see him again, but won’t risk exchanging her life just so he won’t go through the same thing.

“I miss him so much.” her voice cracked as the words came out, and he ran his hand over her hair.

“I know, I know. I miss him, too.”

#tale of the nine tailed #tale of gumiho #lee rang #lee rang x reader #lee rang imagine #kim bum #kdrama #kdramanetwork #lee yeon #lee dong wook #i wrote the first part two episodes before the final one #so after acting it out in the shower i wrote the bonus part

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butterflies-dragons · 3 years

Text

Lúthien and Sansa

Art credit: Lúthien by Aerankai and Sansa by denvertakespics

Recently I started reading about Beren and Lúthien and got really fascinated about how similar Lúthien and Sansa are.

Summary:

1. Beauty

2. Flowery names

3. From dusk to dawn

4. Little birds: nightingales

5. Big birds: eagles and falcons

6. Big cats and big dogs

7. Bat and wolf imagery

8. Singing and dancing

9. Other parallels

10. Beren and Lúthien as inspiration for Jon and Sansa

11. Bonus: from real life to fiction

1. Beauty

Ah, Lúthien! Ah, Lúthien,

more fair than any child of Men!

Oh, loveliest maid of Elvenesse,

what madness doth thee now possess?

Ah, lissom limbs and shadowy hair

and chaplet of white snowdrops there;

oh, starry diadem and bright

soft hands beneath the pale moonlight!

She left his arms and slipped away

just at the breaking of the day.

—Canto VI, The Lay of Leithian - J.R.R. Tolkien

It is told in the Lay of Leithian that Beren came stumbling into Doriath grey and bowed as with many years of woe, so great had been the torment of the road. But wandering in the summer in the woods of Neldoreth he came upon Luthien, daughter of Thingol and Melian, at a time of evening under moonrise, as she danced upon the unfading grass in the glades beside Esgalduin. Then all memory of his pain departed from him, and he fell into an enchantment; for Luthien was the most beautiful of all the Children of Iluvatar. Blue was her raiment as the unclouded heaven, but her eyes were grey as the starlit evening; her mantle was sewn with golden flowers, but her hair was dark as the shadows of twilight. As the light upon the leaves of trees, as the voice of clear waters, as the stars above the mists of the world, such was her glory and her loveliness; and in her face was a shining light.

[...] The fame of the beauty of Luthien and the wonder of her song had long gone forth from Doriath.

—Chapter 19, The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien

Lúthien was an Elf maiden/half Maia of incomparable beauty and grace, with night-dark hair, sparkling grey eyes, luminous skin, and a clear heartbreakingly lovely voice that was said to cause winter to melt into spring.

Lúthien was said to be the fairest maiden to have ever lived (a description later shared also by Arwen).

Why, O king, I desire thy daughter Tinúviel, for she is the fairest and most sweet of all maidens I have seen or dreamed of.’

Then was there a silence in the hall, save that Dairon laughed, and all who heard were astounded, but Tinúviel cast down her eyes, and the king glancing at the wild and rugged aspect of Beren burst also into laughter, whereat Beren flushed for shame, and Tinúviel’s heart was sore for him. ‘Why! wed my Tinúviel fairest of the maidens of the world, and become a prince of the woodland Elves—’tis but a little boon for a stranger to ask,’ quoth Tinwelint.

—The Tale of Tinúviel, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Lúthien inherited her beauty from her mother Melian:

—Beren and Lúthien, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Sansa is a beautiful maiden as well, she inherited her beauty from her mother Catelyn Tully:

Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother’s fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys.

—A Game of Thrones - Arya I

"Sansa was a lady at three, always so courteous and eager to please. She loved nothing so well as tales of knightly valor. Men would say she had my look, but she will grow into a woman far more beautiful than I ever was, you can see that. I often sent away her maid so I could brush her hair myself. She had auburn hair, lighter than mine, and so thick and soft . . . the red in it would catch the light of the torches and shine like copper."

—A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VII

About Sansa's beauty, as I said before in another post:

I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but there are certain consensus and there are also certain conflicting reports about “beauty” in the universe of A Song of Ice and Fire. [...] On the other hand, we have characters like Catelyn Tully and Sansa Stark, mother and daughter, that are consensually considered beautiful. Zero conflicting reports. [...] Sansa Stark is called beautiful the most times in the entire series and by so many characters, friends and foes. There is no doubt about her beauty, and sadly that’s why her big lot of haters want for her to be disfigured so badly……….

As you can see, in a series of books full of unreliable narrators, Sansa's beauty is an absolute truth.

As I'm going to explain in the next section, Sansa's beauty is said to be "bewitching". Sansa is an "enchantress" thanks to her beauty.

Here a compilation of all the quotes about Sansa's beauty.

2. Flowery names

Lúthien was born in a forest under the stars, and niphredil first grew at the moment of her birth.

Niphredil was a small white flower that grew first at the moment of Lúthien's birth.

In one of his letters (Nº 312), Tolkien said that niphredil would be a delicate kin of a snowdrop.

The fact that a flower first grew at the moment of Lúthien's birth makes sense with the etymology of the name:

Lúthien is a Sindarin name meaning "Daughter of Flowers". The first element in the name is lúth ("blossom, inflorescence"). The second element is the feminine suffix -ien ("daughter").

In early writings, Doriathrin Luthien and Noldorin Lhūthien meant "enchantress", deriving from Primitive Quendian luktiēnē ("enchantress"; from root LUK "magic, enhantement").

And as it will be explained later, Lúthien wore fragrant flowers in her beautiful black hair.

Lúthien may have been derived from the Old English word Lufien, which means "love".

Sansa is also a flowery name:

The names Arya and Sansa are meant to represent the polar opposites of their characters, Arya being a hard sounding name, Sansa a softer more pretty name, etc.

—GRRM about The Stark Sisters’ Names

Arya, I say it ar-ya, two syllables, not three, not a-ri-a, like an operatic thing, but Arya, very sharp. I wanted something that was like a knife, that was sharp and hard sound, to be a contrast to the flowery Sansa.

—DAYS OF ICE AND FIRE Q&A (Nov. 13 2010)

Sansa is strongly linked with flowers as well (the rose of Winterfell legend, blue winter roses, the scent of flowers along the north bank of the Trident, Loras’s red rose, Myrcella’s garden, the Roadside Rose song, etc).

Sansa wore the red rose that Loras gave her in her hair.

Sansa has a lot of parallels with Jennys of Oldstones, a lady in a song famous for wearing flowers in her hair.

And about "magic", "enchantment" and "enchantress" we have these very telling quotes:

The pale pink light of dawn sparkled on branch and leaf and stone. Every blade of grass was carved from emerald, every drip of water turned to diamond. Flowers and mushrooms alike wore coats of glass. Even the mud puddles had a bright brown sheen. Through the shimmering greenery, the black tents of his brothers were encased in a fine glaze of ice.

So there is magic beyond the Wall after all. He found himself thinking of his sisters, perhaps because he'd dreamed of them last night. Sansa would call this an enchantment, and tears would fill her eyes at the wonder of it, but Arya would run out laughing and shouting, wanting to touch it all.

—A Clash of Kings - Jon III

"Do you require guarding?" Marillion said lightly. "I am composing a new song, you should know. A song so sweet and sad it will melt even your frozen heart. 'The Roadside Rose,' I mean to call it. About a baseborn girl so beautiful she bewitched every man who laid eyes upon her."

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII

Bringing Harry here was the first step in our plan, but now we need to keep him, and only you can do that. He has a weakness for a pretty face, and whose face is prettier than yours? Charm him. Entrance him. Bewitch him."

[...] Ser Harrold looked confused. "Please. One dance."

Charm him. Entrance him. Bewitch him. "If you insist."

—The Winds of Winter - Alayne I

As you can see, Sansa's beauty is said to be "bewitching". Sansa, like Lúthien, is an "enchantress."

3. From dusk to dawn

Lúthien is also called Tinúviel:

Tinúviel: ‘Daughter of Twilight’ [...].

—List of names in the original texts, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Tinúviel literally means "Daughter of Twilight".

Beren first saw Lúthien dancing and singing in the twilight:

Now the lies of Melko ran among Beren’s folk so that they believed evil things of the secret Elves, yet now did he see Tinúviel dancing in the twilight, and Tinúviel was in a silver-pearly dress, and her bare white feet were twinkling among the hemlock-stems. Then Beren cared not whether she were Vala or Elf or child of Men and crept near to see; and he leant against a young elm that grew upon a mound so that he might look down into the little glade where she was dancing, for the enchantment made him faint.

[...] “By dawn and dusk he sought her, but ever more hopefully when the moon shone bright. At last one night he caught a sparkle afar off, and lo, there she was dancing alone on a little treeless knoll and Dairon was not there. ”

—The Tale of Tinúviel, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

At length Beren fled south from the ever-closing circle of those that hunted him, and crossed the dreadful Mountains of Shadow, and came at last worn and haggard into Doriath. There in secret he won the love of Lúthien daughter of Thingol, and he named her Tinúviel, the nightingale, because of the beauty of her singing in the twilight beneath the trees; for she was the daughter of Melian.

—A passage extracted from the Quenta, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

While Lúthien is associated with the twilight and the moon; Sansa is associated with the dawn and the sun:

All through the dark hours he kept his vigil alone. When dawn broke over the city, the dark red blooms of dragon’s breath surrounded the girls where they lay. “I dreamed of Bran,” Sansa had whispered to him. “I saw him smiling.”

—A Game of Thrones - Eddard V

One more step, she told herself, one more step. She had to keep moving. If she stopped, she would never start again, and dawn would find her still clinging to the cliff, frozen in fear. One more step, and one more step.

The ground took her by surprise. She stumbled and fell, her heart pounding. When she rolled onto her back and stared up at from where she had come, her head swam dizzily and her fingers clawed at the dirt. I did it. I did it, I didn't fall, I made the climb and now I'm going home.

[...] The eastern sky was vague with the first hint of dawn when Sansa finally saw a ghostly shape in the darkness ahead; a trading galley, her sails furled, moving slowly on a single bank of oars. As they drew closer, she saw the ship's figurehead, a merman with a golden crown blowing on a great seashell horn.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa V

When Sansa opened her eyes again, she was on her knees. She did not remember falling. It seemed to her that the sky was a lighter shade of grey. Dawn, she thought. Another day. Another new day. It was the old days she hungered for. Prayed for. But who could she pray to? The garden had been meant for a godswood once, she knew, but the soil was too thin and stony for a weirwood to take root. A godswood without gods, as empty as me.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII

More about Sansa and the dawn here.

4. Little birds: nightingales

Tinúviel is also a term to refer to the nightingale:

Tinúviel: [...] nightingale: name given to Lúthien by Beren.

—List of names in the original texts, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Tinúviel is a Sindarin poetic term, though not a literal name, for the 'Nightingale'. This name was first given to Lúthien of Doriath by Beren when he first saw her dancing in the forest.

Lúthien's mother, Melian, is strongly associated with nightingales:

Melian was a fay. In the gardens of [the Vala] Lórien she dwelt, and among all his fair folk none were there that surpassed her beauty, nor none more wise, nor none more skilled in magical and enchanting song. It is told that the Gods would leave their business and the birds of Valinor their mirth, that Valmar’s bells were silent, and the fountains ceased to flow, when at the mingling of the light Melian sang in the gardens of the God of Dreams. Nightingales went always with her, and their song she taught them. But she loved deep shadow, and strayed on long journeys into the Outer Lands [Middle-earth], and there filled the silence of the dawning world with her voice and the voices of her birds.

The nightingales of Melian Thingol heard and was enchanted and left his folk. Melian he found beneath the trees and was cast into a dream and a great slumber, so that his people sought him in vain.

—Beren and Lúthien, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

In an early version of the tale of Beren and Lúthien, she is called "little bird" by Tevildo:

Now gazing therethrough, for it was ajar, she saw the wide vaulted kitchens and the great fires that burnt there, and those that toiled always within, and the most were cats—but behold, there by a great fire stooped Beren, and he was grimed with labour, and Tinúviel sat and wept, but as yet dared nothing. Indeed even as she sat the harsh voice of Tevildo sounded suddenly within that chamber: ‘Nay, where then in Melko’s name has that mad Elf fled,’ and Tinúviel hearing shrank against the wall, but Tevildo caught sight of her where she was perched and cried: ‘Then the little bird sings not any more; come down or I must fetch thee, for behold, I will not encourage the Elves to seek audience of me in mockery.

—The Tale of Tinúviel, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Tevildo was a big black cat, tiger size, considered the Prince of Cats:

Tevildo: The Prince of Cats, mightiest of all cats, ‘possessed of an evil spirit’; a close companion of Morgoth.

—List of names in the original texts, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

In contrast to Lúthien being called "little bird" by a big black cat, Sansa is also called "little bird" by a big man dubbed the Hound:

He was mocking her, she realized. "No one could withstand him," she managed at last, proud of herself. It was no lie.

Sandor Clegane stopped suddenly in the middle of a dark and empty field. She had no choice but to stop beside him. "Some septa trained you well. You're like one of those birds from the Summer Isles, aren't you? A pretty little talking bird, repeating all the pretty little words they taught you to recite."

"That's unkind." Sansa could feel her heart fluttering in her chest. "You're frightening me. I want to go now."

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa II

As you can see, Lúthien and Sansa are called little birds by a big cat and a big dog respectively, but those beast-like creatures were antagonist figures to our heroines and the term little bird was no endearment but a way to mock and threat them.

We will come back to this cat versus dog issue later.

About Sansa and the nightingale, as I said before in another post:

She [Sansa] is also called “little bird” and a very special little bird, the one that makes the sweetest sounds, is the Nightingale.

The hours in ASOIAF have names. The hour of the Wolf is “the blackest part of the night”, and the hour of the Nightingale, comes after the hour of the Wolf. This means that the hour of the Wolf is exactly before the Dawn or the Hour of the Nightingale. Awesome right?

The song of the nightingale has been described as one of the most beautiful sounds in nature, inspiring songs, fairy tales, opera, books, and a great deal of poetry. And who is the character often described with the sweetest voice in ASOIAF? Yes that’s Sansa Stark, she sings beautifully with the sweetest voice.

So after the Long Night, the Dawn will come. The Starks will be there. Sansa will be there.

More about Sansa and the nightingale here.

Now, the association of Lúthien's mother, Melian, with nightingales:

Melian sang in the gardens of the God of Dreams. Nightingales went always with her, and their song she taught them.

—Beren and Lúthien, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Makes me think about the Children of the Forest and the Old Gods, that are also related with the Starks.

Melian is associated with songbirds, and it is said she taught nightingales how to sing and their music followed her paces. In Valinor, she dwelt in the gardens of Lórien tending its trees, and she was the most beautiful, wise and skilled in songs of enchantment of all the people of Irmo. However she journeyed often to Middle-earth for she loved the deep shadows of trees and forests.

Melian was a Maia. The Maiar were spirits that descended to earth and help to create the world, almost like angels, almost like gods.

The Children of the Forest are called singers, and after their death part of them remains on earth and lives longer inside birds:

Bran knew. "She's a child. A child of the forest." He shivered, as much from wonderment as cold. They had fallen into one of Old Nan's tales.

"The First Men named us children," the little woman said. "The giants called us woh dak nag gran, the squirrel people, because we were small and quick and fond of trees, but we are no squirrels, no children. Our name in the True Tongue means those who sing the song of earth. Before your Old Tongue was ever spoken, we had sung our songs ten thousand years."

—A Dance with Dragons - Bran II

"Someone else was in the raven," he told Lord Brynden, once he had returned to his own skin. "Some girl. I felt her."

"A woman, of those who sing the song of earth," his teacher said. "Long dead, yet a part of her remains, just as a part of you would remain in Summer if your boy's flesh were to die upon the morrow. A shadow on the soul. She will not harm you."

"Do all the birds have singers in them?"

"All," Lord Brynden said. "It was the singers who taught the First Men to send messages by raven … but in those days, the birds would speak the words. The trees remember, but men forget, and so now they write the messages on parchment and tie them round the feet of birds who have never shared their skin."

—A Dance with Dragons - Bran III

As you can see, the Maiar sounds really similar to the Old Gods and the Children of the Forest. Particularly Luthien's mother, Melian, that is associated with trees (Old Gods, weirwoods) and nightingales (crows, ravens).

5. Big birds: eagles and falcons

Lúthien's father, Thingol, locked her up in a tree house, that is basically a bird's nest, since Lúthien is also called Tinúviel that means nightingale:

Now Tinwelint let build high up in that strange tree, as high as men could fashion their longest ladders to reach, a little house of wood, and it was above the first branches and was sweetly veiled in leaves. Now that house had three corners and three windows in each wall, and at each corner was one of the shafts of Hirilorn. There then did Tinwelint bid Tinúviel dwell until she would consent to be wise, and when she fared up the ladders of tall pine these were taken from beneath and no way had she to get down again.

—The Tale of Tinúviel, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Sansa, under the guise of Alayne Stone, is the prisoner of Petyr Baelish in the Eyrie, that literally means falcon's nest:

Alayne's apartments in the Maiden's Tower were larger and more lavish than the little bedchamber where she'd been kept when Lady Lysa was alive. She had a dressing room and a privy of her own now, and a balcony of carved white stone that looked off across the Vale. While Gretchel was tending to the fire, Alayne padded barefoot across the room and slipped outside. The stone was cold beneath her feet, and the wind was blowing fiercely, as it always did up here, but the view made her forget all that for half a heartbeat. Maiden's was the easternmost of the Eyrie's seven slender towers, so she had the Vale before her, its forests and rivers and fields all hazy in the morning light. The way the sun was hitting the mountains made them look like solid gold.

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne I

Beren and Lúthien were rescued by great eagles:

Thus the quest of the Silmaril was like to have ended in ruin and despair; but in that hour above the wall of the valley three mighty birds appeared, flying northward with wings swifter than the wind.

Among all birds and beasts the wandering and need of Beren had been noised, and Huan himself had bidden all things watch, that they might bring him aid. High above the realm of Morgoth Thorondor and his vassals soared, and seeing now the madness of the Wolf and Beren’s fall came swiftly down, even as the powers of Angband were released from the toils of sleep. Then they lifted up Beren and Lúthien from the earth, and bore them aloft into the clouds . . .

(As they passed high over the lands) Lúthien wept, for she thought that Beren would surely die; he spoke no word, nor opened his eyes, and knew thereafter nothing of his flight. And at the last the eagles set them down upon the borders of Doriath; and they were come to that same dell whence Beren had stolen in despair and left Lúthien asleep.

There the eagles laid her at Beren’s side and returned to the peaks of Crissaegrim and their high eyries [...].

—The Quenta Silmarillion, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Sansa expects for the Knights of the Vale (falcons) to help her to re-claim Winterfell:

Her eyes widened. "He is not Lady Waynwood's heir. He's Robert's heir. If Robert were to die . . ."

Petyr arched an eyebrow. "When Robert dies. Our poor brave Sweetrobin is such a sickly boy, it is only a matter of time. When Robert dies, Harry the Heir becomes Lord Harrold, Defender of the Vale and Lord of the Eyrie. Jon Arryn's bannermen will never love me, nor our silly, shaking Robert, but they will love their Young Falcon . . . and when they come together for his wedding, and you come out with your long auburn hair, clad in a maiden's cloak of white and grey with a direwolf emblazoned on the back . . . why, every knight in the Vale will pledge his sword to win you back your birthright. So those are your gifts from me, my sweet Sansa . . . Harry, the Eyrie, and Winterfell. That's worth another kiss now, don't you think?"

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

Sansa also wishes to have falcon's wings:

A falcon soared above the frozen waterfall, blue wings spread wide against the morning sky. Would that I had wings as well.

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne I

Unbeknownst to Sansa, another kind of wings are reserved for her. More about this subject later.

6. Big cats and big dogs

During her adventures in order to help Beren, Lúthien interacts with a big black cat named Tevildo, and with a big dog named Huan, a great wolfhound.

As was said before, Tevildo was a big black cat, tiger size, considered the Prince of Cats:

Tevildo The Prince of Cats, mightiest of all cats, ‘possessed of an evil spirit’; a close companion of Morgoth.

—List of names in the original texts, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Tevildo was an evil fay in the form of a great black cat with a collar of gold, which gave him much of his evil power. He was considered a prince of the servants of Melko and lived in a hilltop castle near Angamandi with other tiger-size cats. During the Quest for the Silmaril, Beren was captured by Melko and forced to work in Tevildo's kitchens. However, the cat was defeated by his archenemy Huan and Tinúviel, who forced him to give up his collar and reveal the spell which held the stones of his castle together. Melko learned Tevildo had lost his power and the cats reduced to normal size and exiled them.

Later Tevildo's place in the narrative was replaced by that of the Necromancer, Thû (later renamed Sauron), in the later Legendarium. Thû (and later Sauron) was the "Lord of Werewolves", in contrast to Tevildo's position as "Prince of Cats"; the cat-versus-dog theme prominent in the "Tale of Tinúviel" was thus eliminated in later writings.

Here we can see an illustration of Luthien's encounter with Tevildo:

Art credit: “but Tevildo caught sight of her where she was perched” by Alan Lee for Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Don't you find this scene familiar? A beautiful lady encountering with a black cat while she is pressed against a wall?

When I read about Tevildo discovering Lúthien shrunk against the wall:

—The Tale of Tinúviel, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

I immediately thought of Sansa's encounter with Balerion, that black tomcat of the Red Keep while she was pressed against a wall:

The noise receded as she moved deeper into the castle, never daring to look back for fear that Joffrey might be watching … or worse, following. The serpentine steps twisted ahead, striped by bars of flickering light from the narrow windows above. Sansa was panting by the time she reached the top. She ran down a shadowy colonnade and pressed herself against a wall to catch her breath. When something brushed against her leg, she almost jumped out of her skin, but it was only a cat, a ragged black tom with a chewed-off ear. The creature spit at her and leapt away.

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa II

And who was Balerion the black tomcat?

The Red Keep was full of cats: lazy old cats dozing in the sun, cold-eyed mousers twitching their tails, quick little kittens with claws like needles, ladies’ cats all combed and trusting, ragged shadows prowling the midden heaps. One by one Arya had chased them down and snatched them up and brought them proudly to Syrio Forel … all but this one, this one-eared black devil of a tomcat. “That’s the real king of this castle right there,” one of the gold cloaks had told her. “Older than sin and twice as mean. One time, the king was feasting the queen’s father, and that black bastard hopped up on the table and snatched a roast quail right out of Lord Tywin’s fingers. Robert laughed so hard he like to burst. You stay away from that one, child.”

—A Game of Thrones - Arya III

As you can see, Tevildo and Balerion sound very similar, both are black cats, both are called evil, both live in a castle, both are considered royals, Tevildo a prince, Balerion a king, and both found a beautiful lady pressed against a wall.

On the other hand, Lúthien befriends a great wolfhound named Huan.

Huan, the Hound of Valinor, was a great wolfhound, one of the hunting dogs of Oromë the Hunter.

Huan was given by Oromë to his friend Celegorm, one of the Sons of Fëanor and accompanied him on his huntings in the regions of Valinor. When the Ñoldor under Fëanor rebelled, Huan went with his master to Middle-earth.

Huan was with Celegorm and Curufin who were hunting when he smelled Lúthien and captured and brought the maid before Celegorm.

Celegorm captured Lúthien and plotted to marry her, thus forcing a bond of kinship with Lúthien's father, Thingol.

But Huan the hound was true of heart, and the love of Luthien had fallen upon him in the first hour of their meeting; and he grieved at her captivity. Therefore he came often to her chamber; and at night he lay before her door, for he felt that evil had come to Nargothrond. Luthien spoke often to Huan in her loneliness, telling of Beren, who was the friend of all birds and beasts that did not serve Morgoth; ad Huan understood all that was said. For he comprehended the speech of all things with voice; but it was permitted to him thrice only ere his death to speak with words. Now Huan devised a plan for the aid of Luthien; and coming at a time of night he brought her cloak, and for the first time he spoke, giving her counsel. Then he led her by secret ways out of Nargothrond, and they fled north together; and he humbled his pride and suffered her to ride upon him in the fashion of a steed, even as the Orcs did at times upon great wolves. Thus they made great speed, for Huan was swift and tireless.

—Chapter 19, The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien

So, in a superficial layer, Huan could be paralleled with Sandor Clegane, dubbed the Hound, since Huan was Celegorm's hunting hound and the Hound was the sworn sword and later Kingsguard of Joffrey Baratheon.

Celegorm was dubbed the Fair, had fair hair and was a great huntsman, the same way Joffrey was blonde and comely, and loved hunting and killing.

Celegorm wanted to marry Lúthien while Joffrey was actually betrothed with Sansa.

There is also the fact that Huan helped Lúthien escape the imprisonment imposed by Celegorm, gave her back her magic cloak (made of her shadowy hair), and fled north together, that somehow reversely resembles Sandor Clegane's offer to Sansa to help her flee north the night of the battle of the Blackwater, offer that Sansa rejected. That same night after a sexual assault attempt, the Hound ripped his white kingsguard's cloak (stained by blood and fire) off and left it fell on the floor.

But in a deeper layer, Huan was to Lúthien the same way the direwolves are to the Stark children.

Indeed, Huan was a gift from a god, the same way the direwolves were a gift from the Old Gods to the Stark children.

Among the six direwolves, Ghost is the one that resembles Huan the most, not only because Huan, despite having grey fur, is often depicted as white, as you can see here:

Art credit: "Luthien and Huan" by Elena Kukanova

But because Huan, like Ghost, is mute.

Huan had been granted special powers by the Valar, he was as large as a small horse, immortal, tireless and sleepless, and was allowed to speak three times before he died. It was also prophesied that he could not be killed unless it was by the greatest wolf that ever lived; in this case a werewolf.

Huan, taking pity of Lúthien disobeyed his master Celegorm, helped her scape, joined Beren and Lúthien in their quest and adventures, turned against his master to protect Lúthien and ultimately died protecting Beren.

Huan used the three times he was allowed to speak to help Beren and Lúthien and say farewell to them.

In a similar way, despite being mute, Jon was the only one that "heard" Ghost in the summer snows when the Starks found the direwolves.

Now, in an early version of the tale of Beren and Lúthien, Tevildo the Prince of Cats clashed against Huan the great wolfhound. It was a battle between a cat and a dog, Tevildo and Huan were archenemies. But in later versions of the tale, Tevildo was replaced by Sauron, who clashed against Huan, after taking the form of a werewolf. Huan won that battle. But much later, Huan was mortally wounded by Carcharoth, the greatest, most powerful wolf to ever live, and Huan died according it was prophesied.

The clash and contrast between wolves and hounds is also present in the universe of A Song of Ice and Fire; but in this case, the direwolves are the heroes while the hounds are the antagonists (Bolton's bitches, the Hound, etc).

This wolves versus hounds theme is particularly depicted in Jon's and Sansa's chapters:

Dogs moved between the tables, trailing after the serving girls. One of them, a black mongrel bitch with long yellow eyes, caught a scent of the chicken. She stopped and edged under the bench to get a share. Jon watched the confrontation. The bitch growled low in her throat and moved closer. Ghost looked up, silent, and fixed the dog with those hot red eyes. The bitch snapped an angry challenge. She was three times the size of the direwolf pup. Ghost did not move. He stood over his prize and opened his mouth, baring his fangs. The bitch tensed, barked again, then thought better of this fight. She turned and slunk away, with one last defiant snap to save her pride. Ghost went back to his meal.

Jon grinned and reached under the table to ruffle the shaggy white fur. The direwolf looked up at him, nipped gently at his hand, then went back to eating.

—A Game of Thrones - Jon I

Rattleshirt’s dogs greeted him with a chorus of snarls and growls and wild barking, as ever, but the direwolf paid them no mind. Six days ago, the largest hound had attacked him from behind as the wildlings camped for the night, but Ghost had turned and lunged, sending the dog fleeing with a bloody haunch. The rest of the pack maintained a healthy distance after that.

—A Storm of Swords - Jon I

"They’re dogs and he’s a wolf,” said Jon. “They know he’s not their kind.” No more than I am yours.

—A Storm of Swords - Jon I

It happened twice more that night, and again in the morning, when she woke to find him hard. The wildlings were stirring by then, and several could not help but notice what was going on beneath the pile of furs. Jarl told them to be quick about it, before he had to throw a pail of water over them. Like a pair of rutting dogs, Jon thought afterward. Was that what he’d become?

—A Storm of Swords - Jon III

Eddard Stark had left before dawn, Septa Mordane informed Sansa as they broke their fast. “The king sent for him. Another hunt, I do believe. There are still wild aurochs in these lands, I am told.”

“I’ve never seen an aurochs,” Sansa said, feeding a piece of bacon to Lady under the table. The direwolf took it from her hand, as delicate as a queen.

Septa Mordane sniffed in disapproval. “A noble lady does not feed dogs at her table,” she said, breaking off another piece of comb and letting the honey drip down onto her bread.

“She’s not a dog, she’s a direwolf,” Sansa pointed out as Lady licked her fingers with a rough tongue. “Anyway, Father said we could keep them with us if we want.”

The septa was not appeased. “You’re a good girl, Sansa, but I do vow, when it comes to that creature you’re as willful as your sister Arya.” She scowled. “And where is Arya this morning?”

“She wasn’t hungry,” Sansa said, knowing full well that her sister had probably stolen down to the kitchen hours ago and wheedled a breakfast out of some cook’s boy.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

Sansa woke and found the old blind dog beside her once again. “I wish that you were Lady,” she said.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI

The same way Lúthien bonded with Huan, I can see Sansa bonding with Ghost when she meets with Jon Snow and the mute direwolf again. Oh it would be so sweet...

7. Bat and wolf imagery

At some point during their adventures, Lúthien took the form of a giant bat while Beren took the form of a werewolf.

To transform into a giant bat, Lúthien used the coat of a female vampire servant of Sauron named Thuringwethil, as a cloak. The same way Beren transforms into a werewolf by using the coat of a werewolf named Draugluin as a cloak as well.

And then the giant bat rode upon the werewolf:

Long he [Huan] had pondered in his heart what counsel he could devise for the lightning of the peril of these two whom he loved. He turned aside therefore at Sauron's isle, as they ran northward again, and he took thence the ghastly wolf-hame of Draugluin, and the bat-fell of ThurIngwethil. She was the messenger of Sauron, and was wont to fly in vampire's form to Angband; and her greatfingered wings were barbed at each joint's end with and iron claw. Clad in these dreadful garments Huan and Luthien ran through Taur-nu-Fuin, and all things fled before them.

Beren seeing their approach was dismayed; and he wondered, for he had heard the voice of Tinuviel, and he thought it now a phantom for his ensnaring. But they halted and cast aside their disguise, and Luthien ran towards him.

[...] By the counsel of Huan and the arts of Luthien he was arrayed now in the hame of Draugluin, and she in the winged fell of ThurIngwethil. Beren became in all things like a werewolf to look upon, save that in his eyes there shone a spirit grim indeed but clean; and horror was in his glance as he saw upon his flank a batlike creature clinging with creased wings. Then howling under the moon he leaped down the hill, and the bat wheeled and flittered above him.

—Chapter 19, The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien

Huan stayed with Lúthien, and hearing of their perplexity and the purpose Beren had still to go to Angband, he went and fetched them from the ruined halls of Thû a werewolf’s coat and a bat’s. Three times only did Huan speak with the tongue of Elves or Men. The first was when he came to Lúthien in Nargothrond. This was the second, when he devised the desperate counsel for their quest. So they rode North, till they could no longer go on horse in safety. Then they put on the garments as of wolf and bat, and Lúthien in guise of evil fay rode upon the werewolf.

—A further extract from the Quenta, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Now there he laid

before their feet, as dark as shade,

two grisly shapes that he had won

from that tall isle in Sirion:

a wolfhame huge—its savage fell

was long and matted, dark the spell

that drenched the dreadful coat and skin;

the werewolf cloak of Draugluin;

the other was a batlike garb

with mighty fingered wings, a barb

like iron nail at each joint’s end—

such wings as their dark cloud extend

against the moon, when in the sky

from Deadly Nightshade screeching fly

Thû’s messengers.

—The narrative in the Lay of Leithian to its termination, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Draugluin: Greatest of the werewolves of Thû (Sauron).

Thuringwethil: Name taken by Lúthien in bat-form before Morgoth.

—List of names in the original texts, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Sansa is said to have taken the form of a wolf with big leather wings like a bat:

"The Imp, it's thought. Him and his little wife."

"What wife?"

"I forgot, you've been hiding under a rock. The northern girl. Winterfell's daughter. We heard she killed the king with a spell, and afterward changed into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat, and flew out a tower window. But she left the dwarf behind and Cersei means to have his head."

That's stupid, Arya thought. Sansa only knows songs, not spells, and she'd never marry the Imp.

—A Storm of Swords - Arya XIII

Songs can be spells as well, Arya... Just ask Lúthien.

The image of a giant bat riding upon a werewolf sounds pretty similar to a wolf with big leather wings like a bat.

There is also the fact that GRRM has used "bat wings" as a reference to "dragon wings," and Sansa has a lot of bat/dragon wings imagery around her.

We will come back to this bat and wolf imagery issue later.

To finish this section, I leave you with this crossover fan-art where Lúthien, very impressed, asks Sansa about the rumor of her transformation into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat.

8. Singing and dancing

Before meeting Beren, Lúthien lived a peaceful life singing and dancing beautifully in the forest:

But Tinúviel’s joy was rather in the dance, and no names are set with hers for the beauty and subtlety of her twinkling feet.

Now it was the delight of Dairon and Tinúviel to fare away from the cavernous palace of Tinwelint their father and together spend long time amid the trees. There often would Dairon sit upon a tussock or a tree-root and make music while Tinúviel danced thereto, and when she danced to the playing of Dairon more lissom was she than Gwendeling, more magical than Tinfang Warble neath the moon, nor may any see such lilting save be it only in the rose gardens of Valinor where Nessa dances on the lawns of never-fading green.

[...] “Often and often she came there after and danced and sang to herself.”

[...] At length one day as she danced alone he stepped out more boldly and said to her: ‘Tinúviel, teach me to dance.’ ‘Who art thou?’ said she. ‘Beren. I am from across the Bitter Hills.’ ‘Then if thou wouldst dance, follow me,’ said the maiden, and she danced before Beren away, and away into the woods, nimbly and yet not so fast that he could not follow, and ever and anon she would look back and laugh at him stumbling after, saying ‘Dance, Beren, dance! as they dance beyond the Bitter Hills!’ In this way they came by winding paths to the abode of Tinwelint, and Tinúviel beckoned Beren beyond the stream, and he followed her wondering down into the cave and the deep halls of her home.”

—The Tale of Tinúviel, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

As it will be explained later, Lúthien's singing and dancing are not only beautiful aesthetically, those skills were magic and worked as spells and enchantments as well.

Leaving out the actual singers, Sansa is the female character more connected with music, singing and dancing. She plays some instruments (high harp, bells), has a sweet singing voice and loves to dance:

Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells.

—A Game of Thrones - Arya I

So the singer played for her, so soft and sad that Arya only heard snatches of the words, though the tune was half-familiar. Sansa would know it, I bet. Her sister had known all the songs, and she could even play a little, and sing so sweetly.

—A Storm of Swords - Arya IV

Winterfell, she might have said. I smell snow and smoke and pine needles. I smell the stables. I smell Hodor laughing, and Jon and Robb battling in the yard, and Sansa singing about some stupid lady fair. [...]

—A Feast for Crows - Arya II

“Of Sansa, brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself.”

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon XIII

When the musicians began to play, she timidly laid her hand on Tyrion's and said, "My lord, should we lead the dance?"

[...] "Lady Sansa." Ser Garlan Tyrell stood beside the dais. "Would you honor me? If your lord consents?"

The Imp's mismatched eyes narrowed. "My lady can dance with whomever she pleases."

Perhaps she ought to have remained beside her husband, but she wanted to dance so badly . . .

[...] Smiling, she let the music take her, losing herself in the steps, in the sound of flute and pipes and harp, in the rhythm of the drum . . . and from time to time in Ser Garlan's arms, when the dance brought them together.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa III

"Lord Nestor will have no singers at the feast, only flutes and fiddles for the dancing." What would she do when the music began to play? It was a vexing question, to which her heart and head gave different answers. Sansa loved to dance, but Alayne...

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

"Would you honor me with this dance, my lady?"

"You're very kind," she said, as he led her to the floor.

He was her first partner of the evening, but far from the last. Just as Petyr had promised, the young knights flocked around her, vying for her favor.

[. . . ] When the dance was done she excused herself, and went back to her place to have a drink of wine.

And there he stood, Harry the Heir himself; tall, handsome, scowling. "Lady Alayne. May I partner you in this dance?"

—The Winds of Winter - Alayne I

As we will see in a next section, Sansa's singing already performed an act of magic/enchantment, she tamed a wild beast full of rage and lust.

9. Other parallels

9.1. Beautiful hair

Lúthien and Sansa have beautiful hair that is their signature feature:

[...] but dark as shadow was her hair [...]

—Canto I, The Lay of Leithian - J.R.R. Tolkien

[...] and the hair of Tinúviel which was dark and finer than the most delicate threads of twilight began suddenly to grow very fast indeed [...]

—The Tale of Tinúviel, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Sansa had gotten their mother’s fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys.

—A Game of Thrones - Arya I

I often sent away her maid so I could brush her hair myself. She [Sansa] had auburn hair, lighter than mine, and so thick and soft . . . the red in it would catch the light of the torches and shine like copper."

—A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VII

"You will be the most beautiful woman in the hall tonight, as lovely as your lady mother at your age. I cannot seat you on the dais, but you'll have a place of honor above the salt and underneath a wall sconce. The fire will be shining in your hair, so everyone will see how fair of face you are.

—The Winds of Winter - Alayne I

Lúthien wore fragrant flowers in her beautiful black hair:

[...] and from her hair the fragrance fell

of elvenflowers in elven-dell.

—Canto V, The Lay of Leithian - J.R.R. Tolkien

The perfume of her flower-twined hair [...]

—Canto IX, The Lay of Leithian - J.R.R. Tolkien

Behind closed doors

they sat, while Beren told his tale

of Doriath; and words him fail

recalling Lúthien dancing fair

with wild white roses in her hair [...]

—A second extract from The Lay of Leithian, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

This reminds me of Jenny of Oldstones, a lady in a song famous for wearing flowers in her hair:

"There's a song," he remembered. "'Jenny of Oldstones, with the flowers in her hair.'"

—A Storm of Swords - Catelyn V

As was mentioned previously in this post, Sansa is strongly linked with flowers as well (the rose of Winterfell legend, blue winter roses, the scent of flowers along the north bank of the Trident, Loras’s red rose, Myrcella’s garden, the Roadside Rose song, etc).

Sansa wore the red rose that Loras gave her in her hair.

Sansa has a lot of parallels with Jennys of Oldstones. You can read about it here:

WE’RE ALL JUST SONGS IN THE END. IF WE ARE LUCKY: JENNY OF OLDSTONES AND THE PRINCE OF DRAGONFLIES

THE BLACK PRINCE WITH THE WHITE GUARDIAN - Jon Snow, Sansa Stark, the Tourney at Ashford Meadow and the songs about Florian and Jonquil.

9.2. Radiant

Lúthien is often described as radiant:

[...] and there she dances all alone

upon a treeless knoll of stone!

Her mantle blue with jewels white

caught all the rays of frosted light.

She shone with cold and wintry flame,

as dancing down the hill she came,

and passed his watchful silent gaze,

a glimmer as of stars ablaze.

—Canto IV, The Lay of Leithian - J.R.R. Tolkien

[...] for Luthien was the most beautiful of all the Children of Iluvatar. Blue was her raiment as the unclouded heaven, but her eyes were grey as the starlit evening; her mantle was sewn with golden flowers, but her hair was dark as the shadows of twilight. As the light upon the leaves of trees, as the voice of clear waters, as the stars above the mists of the world, such was her glory and her loveliness; and in her face was a shining light.

[...] But suddenly some power, descended from of old from divine race, possessed Luthien, and casting back her foul raiment she stood forth, small before the might of Carcharoth, but radiant and terrible.

—Chapter 19, The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien

Sansa is described as radiant by Jon:

His half sisters escorted the royal princes. Arya was paired with plump young Tommen, whose white-blond hair was longer than hers. Sansa, two years older, drew the crown prince, Joffrey Baratheon. He was twelve, younger than Jon or Robb, but taller than either, to Jon's vast dismay. Prince Joffrey had his sister's hair and his mother's deep green eyes. A thick tangle of blond curls dripped down past his golden choker and high velvet collar. Sansa looked radiant as she walked beside him, but Jon did not like Joffrey's pouty lips or the bored, disdainful way he looked at Winterfell's Great Hall.

—A Game of Thrones - Jon I

The word “radiant” has romantic connotations, especially if you consider that GRRM’s love for medieval tourneys started with the movie Ivanhoe (1952), years before he even read the actual book by Sir Walter Scott. In the movie Liz Taylor played the role of the Jew girl Rebecca, and little George fell in love with her. When the author remembered his young infatuation, he referred to the actress as “radiant.” Read more about it here.

9.3. Skinchanging

As was explained previously, Lúthien had the ability of shapeshifting. She turned into a giant bat by wearing a female vampire's coat as a cloak and helped Beren to turn into a werewolf by wearing a werewolf's coat as a cloak as well. Then the bat rode upon the werewolf.

This image of a giant bat riding upon a werewolf is very similar to the image of Sansa turning into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat.

Sansa is a skinchanger as well.

Acording to GRRM, all the Stark children are wargs or skinchangers:

“I don’t think this is necessarily a ‘Stark’ ability, though all the children have it to one extent or another. They also realize it to one extent or another”. [Source]

Q: Are all the Stark children wargs/skin changers with their wolves? A: To a greater or lesser degree, yes, but the amount of control varies widely. [Source]

Oh, George said all the Stark children of this generation were full Wargs. I thought they were like one shot Wargs and were only bonded to their wolves but no they can warg into just about anything. Bran is just the only one working on it. [Source]

All of the Stark children were blessed with a direwolf and the ability to change skins with those magical creatures. The direwolves were sent by the old gods to protect and guide the Stark children. The direwolves are not only protectors and guides for the Stark children, they are also one with them.

Since Lady died, Sansa lost the opportunity to form a deeper bond with her wolf and to further develop and recognize her skinchanger abilities.

But I believe that Lady’s soul still remains in the world, and that’s why Bran calls and counts Sansa’s wolf as “Lady’s Shade.”

So it is possible that part of Lady still remains inside of Sansa, and that’s why Sansa always dreams with Lady (wolf dreams). Only Jon stopped dreaming with Ghost for a time, coincidentally, when they were separated by the Wall.

Most of Sansa’s dreams with Lady are about both of them running in a godswood (Lady’s bones are buried near Winterfell’s godswood), and although Sansa doesn’t remember much of her dreams, she always whispers and/or wakes up with Lady’s name on her lips. Even after her nightmares, she thinks of her Lady.

Some readers have speculated about Sansa and her link with other animals, and the possibility of Sansa changing skins with them, like the black tomcat of the Red Keep, the old blind dog of the Fingers, and even the blue falcon that she observed flying above the Eyrie.

During her encounter with the black tomcat of the Red Keep, Sansa “almost jumped out her skin.” This is a very interesting wording that almost sounds like skinchanging:

The serpentine steps twisted ahead, striped by bars of flickering light from the narrow windows above. Sansa was panting by the time she reached the top. She ran down a shadowy colonnade and pressed herself against a wall to catch her breath. When something brushed against her leg, she almost jumped out of her skin, but it was only a cat, a ragged black tom with a chewed-off ear. The creature spit at her and leapt away.

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa II

“Cats were vain and cruel, always ready to turn on you”, maybe, that’s why after approaching Sansa willingly, the black tomcat “spit at her and leapt away”. This scene happens when Sansa was coming to the godswood to meet with Dontos for the first time. After Sansa arrives, she immediately thinks of Lady.

Sansa bonds with the old blind dog of the Fingers fast and easily. The dog is affectionate, tries to defend Sansa from Marillion’s attack, and is next to her after the nightmares of past sexual abuse by the Hound and Tyrion, provoked by the singer’s attack:

It was eight long days until Lysa Arryn arrived. On five of them it rained, while Sansa sat bored and restless by the fire, beside the old blind dog. He was too sick and toothless to walk guard with Bryen anymore, and mostly all he did was sleep, but when she patted him he whined and licked her hand, and after that they were fast friends. […] “Alayne.” Her aunt’s singer stood over her. “Sweet Alayne. I am Marillion. I saw you come in from the rain. The night is chill and wet. Let me warm you.” The old dog raised his head and growled, but the singer gave him a cuff and sent him slinking off, whimpering. […] “I’ll have a song from you,” he rasped, and Sansa woke and found the old blind dog beside her once again. “I wish that you were Lady,” she said.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI

And once again trapped in a tower, Sansa wishes she has wings:

A falcon soared above the frozen waterfall, blue wings spread wide against the morning sky. Would that I had wings as well.

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne I

As you can see, Sansa warging abilities are hidden so deep in the text, they only shyly appear in the middle of George’s prose as little pieces of poetry:

My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel.

Now tell me, what is that if not skinchanging?

And talking about birds, Sansa has already changed her skin with some birds, she was a talking little bird of the Summer Islands (repeating the right things to survive), then a mockingbird (as Petyr Baelish daughter), and she’s about to become a falcon (if she marries Harry).

And since cloaks could also be considered another skin, Sansa has already changed various cloaks. She was cloaked by a Lannister, then by her new father Petyr Baelish, and is about to be cloaked again by an Arryn.

But Sansa is a wolf, no matter how many skins she wears, she will always be a wolf.

And while Sansa wishes she had feathery wings, unbeknownst to her, she became part of the popular folklore when the smallfolk began to imagine her as a witchy kingslayer that later vanished in a puff of brimstone or changed into a “wolf with big leather wings like a bat” and flew away:

“I forgot, you’ve been hiding under a rock. The northern girl. Winterfell’s daughter. We heard she killed the king with a spell, and afterward changed into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat, and flew out a tower window. But she left the dwarf behind and Cersei means to have his head.”

—A Storm of Swords - Arya XIII

“The dwarf’s wife did the murder with him,” swore an archer in Lord Rowan’s livery. “Afterward, she vanished from the hall in a puff of brimstone, and a ghostly direwolf was seen prowling the Red Keep, blood dripping from his jaws.”

—A Storm of Swords - Jaime VII

In the same book and with a very similar wording, Jon dreams of a ghastly direwolf wandering around the Crypts of Winterfell:

The crypts were growing darker. A light has gone out somewhere. “Ygritte?” he whispered. “Forgive me. Please.” But it was only a direwolf, grey and ghastly, spotted with blood, his her golden eyes shining sadly through the dark . .

—A Storm of Swords - Jon VIII

My personal theory is that the ghastly direwolf is Lady, because, among other reasons, this wouldn’t be the first time that Jon confused Ygritte with another redhead.

These legends of Sansa the witch, the unnatural warg, the beastling, the skinchanger, the winged wolf that flew away from a tower window or vanished in a puff of brimstone, are at the same level of the legends about Bloodraven warging into a one-eyed dog and turning into a mist from a century ago:

How many eyes does Lord Bloodraven have? the riddle ran. A thousand eyes, and one. Some claimed the King’s Hand was a student of the dark arts who could change his face, put on the likeness of a one-eyed dog, even turn into a mist. Packs of gaunt gray wolves hunted down his foes, men said, and carrion crows spied for him and whispered secrets in his ear. Most of the tales were only tales, Dunk did not doubt, but no one could doubt that Bloodraven had informers everywhere.

—The Mystery Knight

If Sansa or Lady’s Shade have really changed skins with the old blind dog of the Fingers, that would be almost the same as Bloodraven warging or shapechanging into a one-eyed dog. By the way, the old blind dog’s master’s name was Bryen, a name way too similar to Brynden (Bloodraven’s name)…

But back again to the “wolf with big leather wings like a bat.” This interesting image reminds me of dragons instead of bats, and I think that was precisely George’s intention, he was subtly referring to dragon wings:

[…] “They say the child was …” […] “Monstrous,” Mirri Maz Duur finished for him. […] “Twisted. I drew him forth myself. He was scaled like a lizard, blind, with the stub of a tail and small leather wings like the wings of a bat.

—A Game of Thrones - Daenerys IX

In the center of the Plaza of Pride stood a red brick fountain whose waters smelled of brimstone, and in the center of the fountain a monstrous harpy made of hammered bronze. Twenty feet tall she reared. She had a woman’s face, with gilded hair, ivory eyes, and pointed ivory teeth. Water gushed yellow from her heavy breasts. But in place of arms she had the wings of a bat or a dragon, her legs were the legs of an eagle, and behind she wore a scorpion’s curled and venomous tail.

—A Storm of Swords - Daenerys II

Tyrion scarce touched his food, Sansa noticed, though he drank several cups of the wine. For herself, she tried a little of the Dornish eggs, but the peppers burned her mouth. Otherwise she only nibbled at the fruit and fish and honeycakes. Every time Joffrey looked at her, her tummy got so fluttery that she felt as though she'd swallowed a bat.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa IV

So, this fascinating image of a “wolf with big leather wings like a bat” could be foreshadowing of Sansa wearing a Targaryen cloak in the future. Or at least having the support and protection of someone related to dragons.

9.4. Hades and Persephone imagery

Beren and Lúthien have a heavy Hades and Persephone imagery around them.

Lúthien could melt winter into spring with the magic of her voice and song.

During their adventures, Beren was severely wounded many times, and while Lúthien had healing abilities, one time he was nearly dead and other time he actually died.

After losing his hand, Beren recovers only after a long period of unconsciousness, and it was said that when he woke the spring came again.

Later, when Beren actually died, Lúthien descended to the lands of death and winter came over the lands of her father. Then, after gaining Beren's life again, she came back to earth and ended the winter with the touch of her hands.

These quotes exempt me from further explanation:

The wind of winter winds his horn;

the misty veil is rent and torn.

The wind dies; the starry choirs

leap in the silent sky to fires

whose light comes bitter-cold and sheer

through domes of frozen crystal clear.

A sparkle through the darkling trees,

a piercing glint of light he sees,

and there she dances all alone

upon a treeless knoll of stone!

Her mantle blue with jewels white

caught all the rays of frosted light.

She shone with cold and wintry flame,

as dancing down the hill she came,

and passed his watchful silent gaze,

a glimmer as of stars ablaze.

And snowdrops sprang beneath her feet,

and one bird, sudden, late and sweet,

shrilled as she wayward passed along.

A frozen brook to bubbling song

awoke and laughed; but Beren stood

still bound enchanted in the wood.

Her starlight faded and the night

closed o'er the snowdrops glimmering white.

Thereafter on a hillock green

he saw far off the elven-sheen

of shining limb and jewel bright

often and oft on moonlit night;

and Daeron's pipe awoke once more,

and soft she sang as once before.

Then nigh he stole beneath the trees,

and heartache mingled with hearts-ease.

A night there was when winter died;

then all alone she sang and cried

and danced until the dawn of spring, [...]

—Canto IV, The Lay of Leithian - J.R.R. Tolkien

And he saw her afar as leaves in the winds of autumn, and in winter as a star upon a hill, but a chain was upon his limbs. There came a time near dawn on the eve of spring, and Luthien danced upon a green hill; and suddenly she began to sing. Keen, heart-piercing was her song as the song of the lark that rises from the gates of night and pours its voice among the dying stars, seeing the sun behind the walls of the world; and the song of Luthien released the behind the walls of the world; and the song of Luthien released the bonds of winter, and the frozen waters spoke, and flowers sprang from the cold earth where her feet had passed. Then the spell of silence fell from Beren, and he called to her, crying Tinuviel; and the woods echoed the name. Then she halted in wonder, and fled no more, and Beren came to her. But as she looked on him, doom fell upon her, and she loved him; yet she slipped from his arms and vanished from his sight even as the day was breaking.

[...] Now Beren and Luthien Tinuviel went free again and together walked through the woods renewing for a time their joy; and though winter came it hurt them not, for flowers lingered where Luthien went, and the birds sang beneath the snow clad hills.

—Chapter 19, The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien

There the eagles laid her at Beren’s side and returned to the peaks of Crissaegrim and their high eyries; but Huan came to her, and together they tended Beren, even as before when she healed him of the wound that Curufin gave to him. But this wound was fell and poisonous. Long Beren lay, and his spirit wandered upon the dark borders of death, knowing ever an anguish that pursued him from dream to dream. Then suddenly, when her hope was almost spent, he woke again, and looked up, seeing leaves against the sky; and he heard beneath the leaves singing soft and slow beside him LúthienTinúviel. And it was spring again.

Thereafter Beren was named Erchamion, which is the One-handed; and suffering was graven in his face. But at last he was drawn back to life by the love of Lúthien, and he rose, and together they walked in the woods once more.

—The Quenta Silmarillion, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

For the spirit of Beren at her bidding tarried in the halls of Mandos, unwilling to leave the world, until Lúthien came to say her last farewell upon the dim shores of the Outer Sea, whence Men that die set out never to return. But the spirit of Lúthien fell down into darkness, and at the last it fled, and her body lay like a flower that is suddenly cut off and lies for a while unwithered on the grass.

Then a winter, as it were the hoar age of mortal Men, fell upon Thingol. But Lúthien came to the halls of Mandos, where are the appointed places of the Eldalië, beyond the mansions of the West upon the confines of the world. There those that wait sit in the shadow of their thought. But her beauty was more than their beauty, and her sorrow deeper than their sorrows; and she knelt before Mandos and sang to him.

The song of Lúthien before Mandos was the song most fair that ever in words was woven, and the song most sorrowful that ever the world shall hear. Unchanged, imperishable, it is sung still in Valinor beyond the hearing of the world, and listening the Valar are grieved. For Lúthien wove two themes of words, of the sorrow of the Eldar and the grief of Men, of the Two Kindreds that were made by Ilúvatar to dwell in Arda, the Kingdom of Earth amid the innumerable stars. And as she knelt before him her tears fell upon his feet like rain upon the stones; and Mandos was moved to pity, who never before was so moved, nor has been since. Therefore he summoned Beren, and even as Lúthien had spoken in the hour of his death they met again beyond the Western Sea. But Mandos had no power to withhold the spirits of Men that were dead within the confines of the world after their time of waiting; nor could he change the fates of the Children of Ilúvatar. He went therefore to Manwë, Lord of the Valar, who governed the world under the hand of Ilúvatar; and Manwë sought counsel in his inmost thought, where the will of Ilúvatar was revealed. These were the choices that he gave to Lúthien. Because of her labours and her sorrow, she could be released from Mandos, and go to Valimar, there to dwell until the world's end among the Valar, forgetting all griefs that her life had known. Thither Beren could not come. For it was not permitted to the Valar to withhold Death from him, which is the gift of Ilúvatar to Men. But the other choice was this: that she might return to Middle-earth, and take with her Beren, there to dwell again, but without certitude of life or joy. Then she would become mortal, and subject to a second death, even as he; and ere long she would leave the world for ever, and her beauty become only a memory in song. This doom she chose, forsaking the Blessed Realm, and putting aside all claim to kinship with those that dwell there; that thus whatever grief might lie in wait, the fates of Beren and Lúthien might be joined, and their paths lead together beyond the confines of the world. So it was that alone of the Eldalië she has died indeed, and left the world long ago. Yet in her choice the Two Kindreds have been joined; and she is the forerunner of many in whom the Eldar see yet, though all the world is changed, the likeness of Lúthien the beloved, whom they have lost.

—The Lost Cantos, The Lay of Leithian - J.R.R. Tolkien

It is said that Beren and Lúthien returned to the northern lands of Middle-earth, and dwelt together for a time as living man and woman; and they took up again their mortal form in Doriath. Those that saw them were both glad and fearful; and Lúthien went to Menegroth and healed the winter of Thingol with the touch of her hand. But Melian looked in her eyes and read the doom that was written there, and turned away; for she knew that a parting beyond the end of the world had come between them, and no grief of loss has been heavier than the grief of Melian the Maia in that hour. Then Beren and Lúthien went forth alone, fearing neither thirst nor hunger; and they passed beyond the River Gelion into Ossiriand, and dwelt there in Tol Galen the green isle, in the midst of Adurant, until all tidings of them ceased. The Eldar afterwards called that country Dor Firn-i-Guinar, the Land of the Dead that Live; and there was born Dior Aranel the beautiful, who was after known as Dior Eluchíl, which is Thingol's Heir. No mortal man spoke ever again with Beren son of Barahir; and none saw Beren or Lúthien leave the world, or marked where at last their bodies lay.

—Epilogue, The Lay of Leithian - J.R.R. Tolkien

Jon and Sansa have Hades and Persephone imagery around them as well.

Jon as Hades:

Despite being born in Dorne, Jon is a son of Winterfell.

In the Prologue of A Game of Thrones we can read that Waymar Royce, Jon's stand in, died at the hands of the Others, in an eriily similar way that Jon would die four books later at the hands of his brothers of the Night's Watch (foreshadowing of Jon's death Nº 1).

Jon played to be a Ghost at the Crypts of Winterfell (foreshadowing of Jon's death Nº 2).

Jon named his mute albino direwolf Ghost (foreshadowing of Jon's death Nº 3).

And in A Dance with Dragons, Jon actually died.

One of Jon's killers was Bowen Marsh dubbed the Old Pomegranate.

We can read the words "a dream of spring" in one of Jon's chapters (A Storm of Swords - Jon V).

Sansa as Persephone:

Persephone and Sansa are renowned beauties.

Sansa was born during winter, she is the Winterfell's daughter.

Sansa is heavily linked with the dawn and the sun (Battle for the Dawn to defeat the Long Night/Long Winter).

An important theme in Sansa's arc is rebuilding, which is connected with rebuild a life after the Long Night/Long Winter. A dream of spring.

GRRM has linked Sansa to the warmer seasons (spring and summer) through her favorite dessert, lemon cakes.

Sansa is deeply associated with flowers, thus with spring.

Sansa rejected the pomegranate from Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish.

Jon's death is foreshadowed (hidden daggers) in one of Sansa's chapters (A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI).

Sansa sensed Jon's death: "A ghost wolf, big as mountains." (A Feast for Crows - Alayne II).

Lady, part of Sansa, already died and is buried at Winterfell.

Read more about it here:

Some thoughts on Sansa and Jon, by Tze

The Pomegranate Imagery - Jonsa, ASOS.

Sansa as Persephone

The King and Queen in the North vs. the King and Queen of the Underworld

9.5. Daeron the minstrel

There often would Dairon sit upon a tussock or a tree-root and make music while Tinúviel danced thereto, and when she danced to the playing of Dairon more lissom was she than Gwendeling, more magical than Tinfang Warble neath the moon, nor may any see such lilting save be it only in the rose gardens of Valinor where Nessa dances on the lawns of never-fading green.

—The Tale of Tinúviel, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

Daeron is mentioned as one of the greatest minstrels of all the Children of Ilúvatar, and only Maglor son of Fëanor is said to come close to his skill. Also in the Lay of Leithian there is named one called Tinfang Gelion who is counted among the three great minstrels, along with Maglor and Daeron.

Daeron loved Lúthien, but she did not love him. Nevertheless they were good friends, and Lúthien would often dance to his music. After Daeron found out about Lúthien's love for the mortal Beren, he betrayed them both to Thingol. When Lúthien later sought his help in assisting captive Beren, Daeron again betrayed her to Thingol, though this time in love and fear for her rather than jealousy.

Thereafter often she came to him, and they went in secret through the woods together from spring to summer; and no others of the Children of Iluvatar have had joy so great, though the time was brief. But Daeron the minstrel also loved Luthien, and he espied her meetings with Beren, and betrayed them to Thingol. Then the King was filled with anger, for Luthien he loved above all things, setting her above all the princes of the Elves; whereas mortal Men he did not even take into his service. Therefore he spoke in grief and amazement to Luthien; but she would reveal nothing, until he swore an oath to her that he would neither slay Beren nor imprison him.

[...] In the time when Sauron cast Beren into the pit a weight of horror came upon Luthien's heart; and going to Melian for counsel she learned that Beren lay in the dungeons of Tol-in-Gaurhoth without hope of rescue. Then Luthien, perceiving that no help would come from any other on earth, resolved to fly from Doriath and come herself to him; but she sought the aid of Daeron, and he betrayed her purpose because he would not deprive Luthien of the lights of heaven, lest she fail and fade, and yet would restrain her, he caused a house to be built from which she should not escape.

[...] Upon Doriath evil days had fallen. Grief and silence had come upon all its people when Luthien was lost. Long they had sought for her in vain. And it is told that in that time Daeron the minstrel of Thingol strayed from the land, and was seen no more. He it was that made music for the dance and song of Luthien, before Beren came to Doriath; and he had loved her, and set all his thought of her in his music. He became the greatest of all the minstrels of the Elves east of the Sea, named even before Maglor son of Feanor. But seeking for Luthien in despair he wandered upon strange paths, and passing over the mountains he came into the East of Middle-earth, where for many ages he made lament beside dark waters for Luthien, daughter of Thingol, most beautiful of all living things.

—Chapter 19, The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien

Daeron reminds me of Marillion, the singer that tried to seduce and rape Sansa.

Marillion witnessed Lysa's attempt to murder Sansa and did nothing but keep singing and playing his harp. Marillion's passion for Sansa/Alayne was unrequited, similar to Daeron's unrequite love for Lúthien.

9.6. Foes

During the events of the Quest for the Silmaril, Lúthien defeated mighty foes, among them were:

Sauron: Lúthien flung her cloak over Sauron's face, and he was struck by the blinding enchantment of weariness. Huan used the opportunity to take Sauron by the throat. Sauron tried to escape by shape shifting, but Huan held him down. Lúthien then demanded Sauron to yield the mastery of the tower to her, less Huan should destroy his mortal form. Sauron yielded, and fled the scene. Lúthien, having received mastery of the tower, laid waste to the fortress with her magic. The walls were destroyed and the prisons were broken. Lúthien found Beren and healed him.

Carcharoth: Suddenly some power, descended from divine race, possessed Lúthien, and casting back her raiment she stood forth, radiant and terrible. Lifting up her hand she commanded Carcharoth to sleep and he was felled, as if lightning had struck him.

Morgoth: Lúthien was undaunted by Morgoth and she offered to dance and sing for him in the manner of a minstrel. He beheld her with lust, of which came a secret desire to do some unspeakable evil to Lúthien. Morgoth accepted for this reason, but Lúthien sang a song of such enchantment and blinding power that all his court fell into a deep sleep and all the fires faded. The Silmarils in the crown on Morgoth's head suddenly blazed with a radiance of white flame and the burden of his crown and of the jewels bowed down his head, laden with a weight of care and fear that even the will of Morgoth could not bear. Then Lúthien, catching up her winged robe, sprang into the air and by casting her cloak before his eyes she set upon him a dark dream. Morgoth was cast down in slumber.

Mandos: Eventually Carcharoth was discovered by Thingol's warriors, and the wolf was attacked. Thingol was nearly slain, but Beren saved him and was mortally wounded. Huan then fought with Carcharoth and slew him, with both dying. The Silmaril was cut from Carcharoth's burned flesh, and Beren presented it at last to Thingol before he died. Thingol then held Beren with respect, but Lúthien commanded Beren to wait for her in the Undying Lands. Lúthien passed away in grief, and her spirit came to the Halls of Mandos. There she sang a song of such woe and lamentation, that even Mandos himself was moved to pity. He summoned Beren's spirit, and the two were reunited. Then he went to Manwë, who sought counsel from Eru and so the will of Ilúvatar was revealed. Thus, Lúthien was faced with a choice; to remain in Valinor and its eternal bliss, or for her and Beren to return to Middle-earth as mortals, after which they would die a second death. Lúthien chose the latter, and she and Beren returned to Doriath.

As you can see Lúthien defeated mighty evil enemies, including the death. Lúthien did all those deeds with her magic enchantments, singing and dancing, skills that can be compared with Sansa's kindness, mercifulness, courtesy and knowledge next to her sweet voice and dancing.

Sansa was also prophesied by the Ghost of High Heart to be involved in the death of the cruel King Joffrey Baratheon (that already happened), and in the slain of a savage giant in a castle made of snow, that is probably Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish. Another candidates are Tyrion Lannister and Gregor Clegane.

There is also the prophecy of Maggy the Frog, that involves Sansa in the downfall of Cersie Lannister.

And finally, we have to count Sansa's song of mercy (the Mother's Hymn), that placated the rage and lust of Sandor Clegane during the night of the Battle of the Blackwater and prevented the Hound's assault, as parallel with Luthien enchanting Morgoth into slumber, that prevented his evil assault: "He beheld her with lust, of which came a secret desire to do some unspeakable evil to Lúthien."

10. Beren and Lúthien as inspiration for Jon and Sansa

Among the tales of sorrow and of ruin that come down to us from the darkness of those days there are yet some in which amid weeping there is joy and under the shadow of death light that endures. And of these histories most fair still in the ears of the Elves is the tale of Beren and Lúthien. Of their lives was made the Lay of Leithian, Release from Bondage, which is the longest save one of the songs concerning the world of old. Here follows their tale and what remains of the Lay.

—Prologue, The Lay of Leithian - J.R.R. Tolkien

Lúthien's love of the mortal Beren, for whom she was prepared to risk everything, including her life, was legendary and lamented forever in song and story.

Lúthien's romance with Beren was one of the great stories of the Elder Days that were told for many ages after she lived, and it was said that her bloodline will never extinguish.

The union of Beren and Lúthien was the first between a mortal Man and an Elven maid.

Lúthien's romance with Beren is mirrored by the later romance between Aragorn and Arwen Evenstar.

According to legend, Lúthien's line would never be broken as long as the world lasted.

As you can see, the tale of Beren and Lúthien is a song that can be compared to the songs about Florian and Jonquil.

Sansa is the character that loves songs the most, particularly the songs about Florian and Jonquil, that are her very favorites.

I have speculated/theorized before that Jon Snow is the best candidate to be the Florian to Sansa's Jonquil.

And as other excellent meta writers have pointed out already, Jon Snow is the best candidate to be the Beren to Sansa's Lúthien.

So here I'm going to show you my take on the matter.

Singing

As I recently found out, we have this beautiful parallel between Beren and Lúthien & Jon and Sansa:

“Often and often she came there after and danced and sang to herself.”

—The Tale of Tinúviel, Beren and Lúthien (2017) - J.R.R. Tolkien

“Of Sansa, brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself.”

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon XIII

As you can see, a man observing a girl singing is an old and obvious romantic trope, especially used in fairy tales. Here a graphic example.

Dancing

Alys Karstark’ wedding, organized by Jon Snow, happened in a very similar way to Sansa’s dream wedding:

”It was not supposed to be this way. She had dreamed of her wedding a thousand times, and always she had pictured how her betrothed would stand behind her tall and strong, sweep the cloak of his protection over her shoulders, and tenderly kiss her cheek as he leaned forward to fasten the clasp”.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa III

“The Magnar all but ripped the maiden’s cloak from Alys’s shoulders, but when he fastened her bride’s cloak about her he was almost tender. As he leaned down to kiss her cheek, their breath mingled”.

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon X.

During Sansa's wedding she didn't dance with her husband. Her first dance as a married woman was with Ser Garland Tyrell, a knight that shares important parallels with Jon Snow.

Jon and Garlan are good with swords (better than Robb and Loras). Both Jon and Garlan like to train with more than one sparring partner to be better prepared to battle. Both Jon and Garlan have ghost imagery around them. While Jon was killed and got a direwolf from the old gods that he called Ghost, Garlan won the Battle of the Blackwater fighting under the guise of Renly’s Ghost.

During Alys's wedding Jon Snow rejected her offer to dance by telling her she must dance with her husband.

“You could dance with me, you know. It would be only courteous. You danced with me anon.”

“Anon?” teased Jon.

“When we were children.” She tore off a bit of bread and threw it at him. “As you know well.”

“My lady should dance with her husband.”

—Jon, A Dance With Dragons

Despite rejecting dancing with her, Jon Snow kept in mind Aly's wrong phrasing: "You danced with me anon."

Later he had the following thought:

A snowflake danced upon the air. Then another. Dance with me, Jon Snow, he thought. You'll dance with me anon.

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon XII

While snowflakes falling reminds Jon of dancing, snowflakes falling reminds Sansa of lover's kisses:

Drifting snowflakes brushed her face as light as lover's kisses, and melted on her cheeks.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII

I suppose that kisses, like loving, is another form of dance.

Bat and wolf imagery

We also have the bat and wolf imagery around Beren and Lúthien. These lovers, husband and wife, turned into a giant bat and a werewolf, an image that reminds me of Sansa turning into "a wolf with big leather wings like a bat."

Indeed, after Sansa ran away from King’s Landing the day King Joffrey Baratheon was killed, the rumors about her participation in the murder started. Among the smallfolk runs the tale that after killing the king, Sansa morphed into “a wolf with big leather wings like a bat” and flew away.

As was previously explained, GRRM has intentionally connected bat wings with dragon wings. So, this fascinating image of Sansa as “a wolf with big leather wings like a bat” could represent Sansa (a wolf) wearing a Targaryen cloak (dragon wings). Or at least having the support and protection of someone related to dragons (that is, Jon Snow).

This image alludes to the protection of a marriage, since when a groom “cloaks” his bride, it is said that he takes her under his protection.

Hades and Persephone imagery

We also have the Hades and Persephone imagery around Beren and Lúthien.

Lúthien could melt winter into spring with the magic of her voice and song.

Thanks to Lúthien's love and cares, the moment Beren woke up from a long period of unconsciousness after losing his hand, spring returned again.

When Beren died, Lúthien descended to the lands of death and gained Beren's life back. Then Lúthien came back to earth and ended the winter with the touch of her hand.

And as was explained before, Jon and Sansa have Hades and Persephone imagery around them as well. See above.

This is yet one more legendary couple who shares parallels with Jon and Sansa.

And since Lúthien's singing was the weapon that gained Beren's life back, this could be foreshadowing of Sansa's singing having an important role in Jon's arc during or after his resurrection.

It is vastly speculated that Jon will come back to life beast-like since he would inhabit inside Ghost for a while, thus Sansa's singing could be instrumental for taming Jon's beast-like form or to make him gaining back his memory.

Beauty and the Beast imagery

Lúthien's renowned beauty was extensively discussed already. Now let's see the beast allusions related to Beren:

Thereafter for four years more Beren wandered still upon Dorthonion, a solitary outlaw; but he became the friend of birds and beasts, and they aided him, and did not betray him, and from that time forth he ate no flesh nor slew any living thing that was not in the service of Morgoth.

[...] But she vanished from his sight; and he became dumb, as one that is bound under a spell, and he strayed long in the woods, wild and wary as a beast, seeking for her. In his heart he called her Tinuviel, that signifies Nightingale, daughter of twilight, in the Grey-elven tongue, for he knew no other name for her. And he saw her afar as leaves in the winds of autumn, and in winter as a star upon a hill, but a chain was upon his limbs.

[...] Beneath the Shadowy Mountains they came upon a company of Orcs, and slew them all in their camp by night; and they took their gear and their weapons. By the arts of Felagund their own forms and faces were changed into the likeness of Orcs; and thus disguised they came far upon their northward road, and ventured into the western pass, between Ered Wethrin and the highlands of Taur-nu-Fuin.

[...] As a dead beast Beren lay upon the ground; but Luthien touching him with her hand aroused him, and he cast aside the wolf-hame. Then he drew forth the knife Angrist; and from the iron claws that held it he cut a Silmaril.

—Chapter 19, The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien

Beren also formed a strong bond with Huan, the great wolfhound, a magical creature gifted by a god. This bond resembles somehow the bond between Jon and Ghost.

Beren stood beside Thingol, and suddenly they were aware that Huan had left their side. Then a great baying awoke in the thicket; for Huan becoming impatient and desiring to look upon this wolf had gone in alone to dislodge him. But Carcharoth avoided him, and bursting form the thorns leaped suddenly upon Thingol. Swiftly Beren strode before him with a spear, but Carcharoth swept it aside and felled him, biting at his breast. In that moment Huan leaped from the thicket upon the back of the Wolf, and they fell together fighting bitterly; and no battle of wolf and hound has been like to it, for in the baying of Huan was heard the voice of the horns of Orome and the wrath of the Valar, but in the howls of Carcharoth was the hate of Morgoth and malice crueller than teeth of steel; and the rocks were rent by their clamour and fell from on high and choked the falls of Esgalduin. There they fought to the death; but Thingol gave no heed, for he knelt by Beren, seeing that he was sorely hurt. Huan in that hour slew Carcharoth; but there in the woven woods of Doriath his own doom long spoken was fulfilled, and he was wounded mortally, and the venom of Morgoth entered into him. Then he came, and falling beside Beren spoke for the third time with words; and he bade Beren farewell before he died. Beren spoke not, but laid his hand upon the head of the hound, and so they parted.

—Chapter 19, The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien

Sansa's beauty is also renowned and was discussed above (Here a compilation of all the quotes about Sansa's beauty).

Sansa and Jon are also both wargs/skinchangers, but while Lady was the smallest, the prettiest, the most gentle and trusting of the litter; Ghost is the biggest of the litter and is often described as a savage beast.

Now let's see the beast allusions related to Jon and Ghost:

Ser Alliser Thorne shattered the silence. “The turncloak graces us with his presence at last.”

Lord Janos was red-faced and quivering. “The beast,” he gasped. “Look! The beast that tore the life from Halfhand. A warg walks among us, brothers. A WARG! This … this creature is not fit to lead us! This beastling is not fit to live!”

Ghost bared his teeth, but Jon put a hand on his head. “My lord,” he said, “will you tell me what’s happened here?”

—A Storm of Swords - Jon XII

“Then you had best be on your way, boy.” Slynt laughed, dribbling porridge down his chest. “Greyguard’s a good place for the likes of you, I’m thinking. Well away from decent godly folk. The mark of the beast is on you, bastard.”

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon II

Dolorous Edd took hold of Slynt by one arm, Iron Emmett by the other. Together they hauled him from the bench. “No,” Lord Janos protested, flecks of porridge spraying from his lips. “No, unhand me. He’s just a boy, a bastard. His father was a traitor. The mark of the beast is on him, that wolf of his … Let go of me! You will rue the day you laid hands on Janos Slynt. I have friends in King’s Landing. I warn you—” He was still protesting as they half-marched, half-dragged him up the steps.

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon II

My friend @really-sad-devil-guy wrote a series of metas about Sansa and the Beauty and the Beast trope. This series is unfinished at the moment but you can read the parts already posted here:

Sansa’s “Beauty and the Beast” Arc, Part 1

Sansa’s “Beauty and the Beast” Arc, Part 2

Sansa’s “Beauty and the Beast” Arc, Part 3

Sansa’s “Beauty and the Beast” Arc, Part 4

Sansa’s “Beauty and the Beast” Arc, Part 5

You can also read the posts I wrote about this subject here:

In the original fairy tale ‘La Belle et la Bête’ by Madame de Villeneuve, Beauty and Beast/Prince are cousins

Some fanon/made up things that certain shippers claim to be canon about their ship & the Beauty and the Beast Trope

There is a version of Beauty and the Beast where the Beast is a white wolf

Endless lineage

As was mentioned before, the union of Beren and Lúthien was the first between a mortal Man and an Elven maid.

According to legend, Lúthien’s bloodline would never be broken as long as the world lasted.

Lúthien’s romance with Beren is mirrored by the later romance between Aragorn and Arwen Evenstar.

Aragorn and Arwen were first cousins many times removed and both descend of Beren and Lúthien.

In the case of Jon and Sansa, both are deeply connected to the continuity of the Stark bloodline.

I extensively wrote about Jon and Sansa and their connections to Winterfell in this post: i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my. Among these connections, here are the most noteworthy:

“The snow fell and the castle rose”

GRRM has directly associated Jon Snow and Sansa’s snow castle.

Jon and Sansa share the dream of rebuilding Winterfell, their ancestral home and seat of House Stark. This shared dream is beautifully represented by Sansa building a scale model of Winterfell out of “snow”.

What do I want with snowballs? She looked at her sad little arsenal. There’s no one to throw them at. She let the one she was making drop from her hand. I could build a snow knight instead, she thought. Or even…

[…] The snow fell and the castle rose. Two walls ankle-high, the inner taller than the outer. Towers and turrets, keeps and stairs, a round kitchen, a square armory, the stables along the inside of the west wall. It was only a castle when she began, but before very long Sansa knew it was Winterfell. She found twigs and fallen branches beneath the snow and broke off the ends to make the trees for the godswood. For the gravestones in the lichyard she used bits of bark. Soon her gloves and her boots were crusty white, her hands were tingling, and her feet were soaked and cold, but she did not care. The castle was all that mattered. Some things were hard to remember, but most came back to her easily, as if she had been there only yesterday. The Library Tower, with the steep stonework stair twisting about its exterior. The gatehouse, two huge bulwarks, the arched gate between them, crenellations all along the top…

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII

“Drink this.” Grenn held a cup to his lips. Jon drank. His head was full of wolves and eagles, the sound of his brothers’ laughter. The faces above him began to blur and fade. They can’t be dead. Theon would never do that. And Winterfell … grey granite, oak and iron, crows wheeling around the towers, steam rising off the hot pools in the godswood, the stone kings sitting on their thrones … how could Winterfell be gone?

—A Storm of Swords - Jon VI

Winterfell, he thought. Theon left it burned and broken, but I could restore it. Surely his father would have wanted that, and Robb as well. They would never have wanted the castle left in ruins.

—A Storm of Swords - Jon XII

There is also the fact that Jon is heavily associated with “snow” while Sansa is heavily associated with “stone.”

Winterfell is a grey “stone” castle that is cloaked by white “snow,” like a perfect marriage.

Jon and the Wall represent the “shield that guards the realms of men.” Sansa feels stronger within the “walls” of Winterfell.

All of these images allude to the protection of a marriage, since when a groom “cloaks” his bride, it is said that he takes her under his protection.

“The blood of Winterfell”

Among all the Stark children, Jon and Sansa are the only ones that are called, or call themselves, “the blood of Winterfell.”

Jon’s throat was raw. He looked at them all helplessly. “She yielded herself to me.” “Then you must do what needs be done,” Qhorin Halfhand said. “You are the blood of Winterfell and a man of the Night’s Watch.”

—A Clash of Kings - Jon VI

When the dreams took him, he found himself back home once more, splashing in the hot pools beneath a huge white weirwood that had his father’s face. Ygritte was with him, laughing at him, shedding her skins till she was naked as her name day, trying to kiss him, but he couldn’t, not with his father watching. He was the blood of Winterfell, a man of the Night’s Watch. I will not father a bastard, he told her. I will not. I will not.

—A Storm of Swords - Jon VI

“What if Lord Nestor values honor more than profit?” Petyr put his arm around her. “What if it is truth he wants, and justice for his murdered lady?” He smiled. “I know Lord Nestor, sweetling. Do you imagine I’d ever let him harm my daughter?” I am not your daughter, she thought. I am Sansa Stark, Lord Eddard’s daughter and Lady Catelyn’s, the blood of Winterfell. She did not say it, though.

—A Feast for Crows - Sansa I

This phrasing “the blood of Winterfell” implies blood lineage of House Stark, and Jon and Sansa both dream of having children that would bear the names of their siblings: Robb, Bran, Rickon and Arya.

Willas would be Lord of Highgarden and she would be his lady. She pictured the two of them sitting together in a garden with puppies in their laps, or listening to a singer strum upon a lute while they floated down the Mander on a pleasure barge. If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon, and raise them all to be as valiant as Ser Loras. And to hate Lannisters, too. In Sansa’s dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa II

I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb. Val would want to keep her sister’s son, but we could foster him at Winterfell, and Gilly’s boy as well. Sam would never need to tell his lie. We’d find a place for Gilly too, and Sam could come visit her once a year or so. Mance’s son and Craster’s would grow up brothers, as I once did with Robb.

—A Storm of Swords - Jon XII

This is connected with the motif of rebuilding Winterfell, Jon and Sansa not only can rebuild the castle but the Stark family.

“Children of the Mountain”

Among all the Stark children, Jon and Sansa are the only ones that are called "children of the mountain".

Soon they were high enough so that looking down was best not considered. There was nothing below but yawning blackness, nothing above but moon and stars. “The mountain is your mother,” Stonesnake had told him during an easier climb a few days past. “Cling to her, press your face up against her teats, and she won’t drop you.” Jon had made a joke of it, saying how he’d always wondered who his mother was, but never thought to find her in the Frostfangs. It did not seem nearly so amusing now. One step and then another, he thought, clinging tight.

—A Clash of Kings - Jon VI

“You’re mistaken. I never fall.” Mya’s hair had tumbled across her cheek, hiding one eye. “Almost, I said. I saw you. Weren’t you afraid? “Mya shook her head. “I remember a man throwing me in the air when I was very little. He stands as tall as the sky, and he throws me up so high it feels as though I’m flying. We’re both laughing, laughing so much that I can hardly catch a breath, and finally I laugh so hard I wet myself, but that only makes him laugh the louder. I was never afraid when he was throwing me. I knew that he would always be there to catch me.” She pushed her hair back. “Then one day he wasn’t. Men come and go. They lie, or die, or leave you. A mountain is not a man, though, and a stone is a mountain’s daughter. I trust my father, and I trust my mules. I won’t fall.” She put her hand on a jagged spur of rock, and got to her feet. “Best finish. We have a long way yet to go, and I can smell a storm.”

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

Coincidentally in reference to two snowy mountains, the Frostfangs beyond the Wall and the mountains at the Eyrie.

The word Winterfell could mean “wintry mountain(s)” A snowy mountain is basically “stone” covered by “snow”, like a perfect marriage.

This is connected with the motif of rebuilding Winterfell and the Stark family.

You can read more about this subject (Beren and Lúthien as inspiration for Jon and Sansa) in this series of metas written by @fedonciadale back in 2018:

Tolkien and GRRM - The tale of Beren and Luthien and the allusions to Jonsa - part 1 - the meeting

Tolkien and GRRM - The tale of Beren and Luthien and the allusions to Jonsa - part 2 - Beren’s oath and first failure

Tolkien and GRRM - The tale of Beren and Luthien and the allusions to Jonsa - part 3 - Beren’s and Luthien’s get the Silmaril

Tolkien and GRRM - Aragorn and Arwen

11. Bonus: from real life to fiction

Lúthien was largely inspired from Edith Bratt (Tolkien's wife) and when she died, Tolkien asked his son Christopher to include Lúthien in her gravestone, as he considered her "my Lúthien."

In on of his letters (Nº 340), Tolkien said: "I never called Edith 'Lúthien' – but she was the source of the story that in time became the chief pan of the Silmarillion. It was first conceived in a small woodland glade filled with hemlocks at Roos in Yorkshire (where I was for a brief time in command of an outpost of the Humber Garrison in 1917, and she was able to live with me for a while). In those days her hair was raven, her skin clear, her eyes brighter than you have seen them, and she could sing – and dance. But the story has gone crooked, & I am left, and I cannot plead before the inexorable Mandos."

In the movie Tolkien (2019) the film recreates this scene, as you can see in this gifset.

In the same way, I believe that GRRM took inspiration from his wife Parris McBride, certain real life events and traits, and gave those to two of his heroines, Brienne and Sansa.

When Martin and McBride met, at a convention in Nashville in 1975, she told him that one of his stories, “A Song for Lya,” had made her cry. The gathering was in the free-spirited mode of the times—in an autobiographical essay, Martin notes that, when this conversation took place, they were both naked. (He does not elaborate.) He was, however, engaged to someone else. McBride went to work for a travelling circus for a while. By the time he moved to Santa Fe, in 1979, she was waiting tables in Portland, Oregon. They’d kept in touch, and after his marriage broke up they began what McBride calls a “fannish romance,” meeting at conventions and exchanging letters. In 1981, he persuaded her to move to New Mexico.

The New Yorker - April 11, 2011 Issue

And about they both being naked when they met, he later elaborates:

I met Parris for the first time at the 1975 Kublakhan in Nashville. A bunch of us were having a party in the women’s sauna and she walked in. I came to immediate attention.

Parris | George R.R. Martin

This naked encounter is compared by fans to this Jaime and Brienne passage:

She jerked to her feet as if he’d struck her, sending a wash of hot water across the tub. Jaime caught a glimpse of the thick blonde bush at the juncture of her thighs as she climbed out. She was much hairier than his sister. Absurdly, he felt his cock stir beneath the bathwater. Now I know I have been too long away from Cersei. He averted his eyes, troubled by his body’s response.

—A Storm of Swords - Jaime V

We can even draw some parallels between Beren and Lúthien and Jaime and Brienne.

Like Lúthien, Brienne dances, but she dances with her sword. While Jaime, like Beren, lost a hand.

The possibility that GRRM may have used his wife Parris McBride as inspiration for Brienne and Sansa, makes a lot of sense if we consider that, according to GRRM himself, Brienne is Sansa with a sword.

But it is the mention of Parris crying while reading “A Song for Lya”, a bittersweet ending story with a radiant auburn haired beauty, what reminds me very much of Sansa.

Sansa is fond of sweet and sad songs, of bittersweet tales and stories, and she is often moved to tears by their sadness and beauty:

Sansa listened raptly while the king’s high harper sang songs of chivalry [...]

—A Clash of Kings - Bran III

Later, while Sansa was off listening to a troupe of singers perform the complex round of interwoven ballads called the “Dance of the Dragons,” [...]

—A Game of Thrones - Eddard VII

She pulled a chair close to the hearth, took down one of her favorite books, and lost herself in the stories of Florian and Jonquil, of Lady Shella and the Rainbow Knight, of valiant Prince Aemon and his doomed love for his brother’s queen.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV

For those who remained, a singer was brought forth to fill the hall with the sweet music of the high harp. He sang of Jonquil and Florian, of Prince Aemon the Dragonknight and his love for his brother’s queen, of Nymeria’s ten thousand ships. They were beautiful songs, but terribly sad. Several of the women began to weep, and Sansa felt her own eyes growing moist.

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa VI

Lady Ashara was my aunt. I never knew her, though. She threw herself into the sea from atop the Palestone Sword before I was born.”

“Why would she do that?” said Arya, startled.

[…] "Why did she jump in the sea, though?"

"Her heart was broken."

Sansa would have sighed and shed a tear for true love, but Arya just thought it was stupid. She couldn't say that to Ned, though, not about his own aunt. "Did someone break it?"

—A Storm of Swords - Arya VIII

Sansa is often moved to tears at the presence of beauty, as Jon's fond memories of her tell us:

—A Clash of Kings - Jon III

So, in a similar way that Edith inspired Lúthien, I believe Parris inspired Brienne and Sansa.

It is evident that his first encounter with Parris deeply impacted GRRM, so much that he took certain real life events and certain traits of his wife and gave those to two of the heroines of his magnum opus. Particularly Sansa, since she is a main character and the princess of the story, that shares parallels with powerful women from History and with important characters of classic fantasy sagas, like Tolkien's Lúthien in this case.

There you have it. Sansa is the Lúthien figure in the universe of A Song of Ice and Fire.

I'm sure there are more parallels between Lúthien and Sansa, I'm not an expert in the LOTR books, the only book I read so far is the one I used to write this post: Beren and Lúthien (2017), so maybe I will be revisiting this post in the future with more findings.

#sansa stark #lúthien tinúviel #jonsa #beren x lúthien #asoiaf #lotr #grrm #grr martin #jrr tolkien

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hattiepins · 3 years

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Zeke Yeager/Reader 18+ Chapter 1/??? Warnings: Alcohol mentions, explicit content a/n: I haven’t posted fic to tumblr in literal years so here’s me christening my new AOT blog with some Zekefucking. This fic will eventually have an actual plot, and I have it mapped out, but for now it’s just smut so have fun with it. I’m also on ao3 w the same @ if you prefer that layout better.

Zeke Yeager was an incredibly imposing man. The warriors were an intimidating group to anyone who had heard of them, but there was something special about him.

You had “met” several years ago, at work cleaning the imposing Marleyan government building that served as the warrior headquarters in Liberio. Most of the year it was filled with children hopeful that if they worked hard enough, dedicated their hearts firmly enough, and bought into the belief that they too could bring honor to their homeland, they could be worthy of inheriting a titan.

You liked children, and though it hurt to see them pushed into the grim roles they took up at the compound, you would occasionally share excited chats with them in the halls, rooms, or courtyards of the massive complex. You’d scrub the floors of the messes left behind by their muddy boots, or the walls of the grime that accumulated every week, and the candidates, being the chatty little kids that they were, would update you on their days. Who beat who in what race, how fast so and so could disassemble then reassemble a rifle. On a good day of work you were given a run down of everything.

On special days, though, the Marleyan warriors themselves would show up. A woman with unruly dark hair, a tall and disheveled scruffy man, and a blonde with a slicked back undercut all would often pass you by.

But Zeke Yeager? He always stood out to you the most. Anyone who could spare enough pocket change for a paper would know of the great feats of the beast titan and the man who held it. There had never been quite anything like him before in history, and his accomplishments on the warfront were praised as the ace up Marley’s sleeve in many battles.

In reality though, Zeke bore no resemblance to his titan, with there being no visual similarity between the terrifying monster printed on the front page of every news story and the warrior who controlled it.

He was tall, with a laid back posture that stood in stark contrast to his own mythic status. A legend among Eldians, and a fearsome specimen among all men, with his steely grey eyes and furrowed brow. He always looked as if he had something weighing on his mind whenever you spotted him, be it alone, or with his comrades.

You would absentmindedly toy with the hem at the edge of your own grey armband every time your eyes glanced over their red ones, not envying their lives as warriors but wondering what it must be like, being honorary Marleyans.

None of them ever noticed your presence, and why should they? You were the cleaning girl, a part of the scenery.

So then it comes as quite the shock when, tonight, as you head to the pub around the corner from the compound, Zeke Yeager recognizes you.

The place isn’t anything fancy, but it’s halfway between work and the run-down tenement you can afford to rent on a maid’s salary. You go here on your days off, when you want more than anything to just relax, have a drink, and listen to the gramophone at the bar play music that you’d never get to hear otherwise. It’s a surprise enough to even see Zeke here, but the way he reacts to seeing you has your heart seize up a bit in your chest.

He waves you over with his hand clutching his drink, calling your name with a voice just loud enough to be heard over the scratchy, poorly recorded music of the wax cylinder recording, his face plastered with a smug expression.

You blink slowly, as if closing your eyes will somehow remove him from the table in front of you and confirm that just a few sips of your drink have led to full on hallucinations. But you do not move.

Catching onto your nervousness, Zeke raises the glass of warm swill this poorly stocked Eldian pub calls drinks, swirling the liquid inside as he motions towards your general direction.

“Come on now, that’s your first drink of the night in your hands. I know you aren’t far gone enough to not recognize the sound of your own name.”

The volume of his voice is louder than you would like. A necessity, you know, for him to be heard over the sound of the gramophone, but still embarrassing.

You gesture stupidly at yourself with your pointer finger, and he nods, brows raised and mouth smiling with pursed lips as if he’s trying to stifle a laugh at your blatant confusion.

He, in turn, gestures for you to take a seat next to him at the small booth he holds for himself in the corner.

“You’re the cleaning girl, right?” He says.

And for as awkward as that introduction is, it doesn’t stop you from joining him.

“How did you know- where did you learn my name?” You drum your fingers against the base of your drink, still slightly nervous.

“I’m observant.” He takes a sip of his own drink.

“That, and you’re more well known than you’d think. The Grice boys talk about you sometimes. The younger one, Falco, is pretty damn fond of you, actually. Says you’re a good listener. Likes talking to you. His brother’s the one set to inherit my titan.”

You stare at him, a little shocked to hear that the candidates even remember you beyond simple hallway chatter, let alone that a warrior has actually taken note of your reputation with the children.

“Falco’s a good kid. Colt too.” Your lips quirk up into a small smile, thinking about the two blond boys, always polite and courteous. They even bothered to get to know you by name, and always seem to ask about your day before telling you about their own.

“You’re quite the conversationalist for someone who the government pays to mop floors and dust shelves all day.”

You tense up, and suddenly, for a moment, a sense of sudden clarity and fear grips you. Is this an interrogation? Does Zeke Yeager think you’re a spy because you’re too chatty with the candidates? You knew this felt off, there’s no way that he’d invite you here just to ta-

“If I’m honest, I noticed you first because I was shocked that a pretty face like yours would be working scrubbing dirt. Didn’t put a name to said face until Colt started bringing you up almost just as often as his little brother. But I’m a good listener.”

He smiles, repeating your name with a soft smile as if testing out the sound of it.

“It’s a pretty name. Suits you. I try and keep things professional at the compound. Lots of eyes and ears. Granted there’s definitely a few in this place right now, but we don’t have to worry about them.”

You lift your head with a start, eyes scanning the bar, all a sea of patrons with worn clothes and grey armbands. None of them stand out as being particularly unique. None accept the man with the red around his arm seated across from you. He sticks out like a vibrant wine stain against white cotton, and though the patrons know better than to stare, you catch them sneaking “coincidental” glances his way.

Their eyes rest on him, then flicker away to observe the much less interesting rest of the bar as if it’s merely chance that they managed to get caught looking.

You let your gaze wander over all the faces in the crowd, trying to see who he might be referring to. To see who could be watching.

“Shit, could you be a little less obvious, sweetheart?”

The sudden affectionate name has your heart flutter in your chest in a way you absolutely were not expecting, and as you turn your gaze back to him, an embarrassed flush creeping its way across your cheeks, you see his smirk grow. He’s smug, but you suppose he has all the reason in the world to be, with all his accomplishments.

Zeke, you thankfully come to realize as your conversation progresses, is not here to report you to the higher ups for something or another, nor does it seem that anyone in the bar is particularly interested in your chatter.

You do, however, find that Zeke Yeager is not only a very powerful presence, but that he’s very handsome. It was something you didn’t particularly notice at the compound, mostly because you tried to avoid being in the way of your superiors in the warrior unit, but also because the stories you’d heard of the beast titan’s strength painted the man as a brute.

Instead, you find yourself enthralled by him. He has beautiful hair, and his beard is kept very nicely trimmed. The way his grey eyes light up when he learns you two share a similar taste in novels has your breath catching in your throat.

You list off your recent reads, only to find that he’s also read most everything on the list. He says he’s an avid reader, especially when they ship him out. It helps him keep his mind off of the fighting to think of smaller problems than wars.

“I couldn’t put it down.”

You find yourself raving about your latest literary obsession.

“The way the whole town just watched her descent into madness was so painful to read, but I wanted to know why they hated her in the first place so badly.”

You have long since finished your drink, but the conversation with Zeke ensures that you absolutely do not want any more. The last thing you want to do is slur your speech in a conversation about your shared interests, and especially not when those interests are shared by a very handsome man.

“The reveal of how her daughter was framed had me glued to every word. And the ending!” He leans back in his seat, like he’s processing it all over again just speaking about it.

“Lighting the whole town on fire… they say revenge is a dish best served cold, but reading about her walking through the burning streets…”

“Brilliant.”

His smile is captivating.

You remind yourself that this man is an honorary Marleyan, and you are just a regular Eldian who is lucky enough to have enough pocket change at the end of the month to even buy those novels.

But for as much as Zeke insists that you are well known at the compound for being a great conversationalist, you find that the same compliments the Grice boys have paid to you apply tenfold to him. You don’t want to stop talking.

When the bar closes, you don’t say your goodbyes and head home. Instead, you find yourself continuing your conversation in the streets of Liberio, walking the cobblestone roads at what must be at least two in the morning. Your conversation never has a single slow moment.

You don’t think the slightly intimidated feeling you get while next to him will ever fully subside. He is, after all, much larger than you, and you feel dwarfed by him as you walk side by side, looking up at his handsome face. You’ve switched conversation topics through nearly a dozen different novels now, and your ideas bounce off one another perfectly.

He mutters how your theory about a plot twist and it’s possible connection to the yet unreleased next book in the series might be one of the best ideas he’s heard, and his little smile while he does so is captivating.

“You’d serve better as a critic than a cleaner, you know.” He says with a laugh.

And you smile, because for a moment, by Zeke’s side, you almost forget it’s Liberio’s streets that you’re walking, and that you can’t hope to aim too high. All that exists for now is the two of you, and the words you share.

As you walk under the lamplight through deserted streets, you take notice of the way he scratches his ear when he’s thinking, but more specifically your eyes fixate on his hands themselves. They’re big, and you purse your lips imagining how little your hands would be in his. He admittedly dresses like an old man, and while his wardrobe is nothing fancy, it doesn’t hide his impressive stature.

His broad shoulders and military status imply an impressive body under the loose fitting coat he wears, and you feel like a repressed schoolgirl just looking at the exposed skin of his neck and how the muscles there tense when you bring up some narrative choice or another that you both didn’t enjoy. Your cheeks flush as you watch him take a drag of his cigarette, holding it between two thick fingers.

He seems to take notice of your stares, but says nothing to discourage you. In return, you catch him eyeing you a few times too, but unlike you, he doesn’t get flustered when you notice him clearly staring.

It’s still fairly chilly out, and your warm coat doesn’t do your body any favors, but that doesn’t stop his glances.

When the two of you cross a bridge, you find yourself staring up at the moon and how it’s surface reflects on the wide river below. Zeke leans over the rail, taking yet another drag of his cigarette, and you cautiously reach out a hand to his. He makes no move to shift away from you as you lock your arm in his.

You continue your walk like that, the feeling of closeness making you far more flustered than you should be. It’s only proper for a man to escort a lady by the hand when it’s so late. But you’re no lady, you’re a maid. And Zeke’s glances are growing far from proper, even as the topic remains firmly on literature.

When he invites you up to his apartment to see his books, you both know you won’t be doing any actual reading. But you let him lead you through the streets and up countless flights of stairs regardless.

He turns the key in the lock, and you enter, following his lead in kicking off your boots and hanging up your coat by a hook on the wall. You barely have time to take in how nicely furnished the home of an honorary Marleyan is before he has you pressed against the door, closing it shut with the weight of both of your bodies against it.

You gasp at the impact, and run your fingers through his soft blond locks as he presses his lips to yours in an open mouthed and greedy kiss. His lips are soft, and his breath is hot against you as he pulls away.

“Do you want to-?”

“Yes. God, yes.” You pull at his coat, hoping he’ll get the message, and he does.

He shrugs it off, and then his lips are against yours again. Your touch traces down along his back, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt until it comes untucked from his pants and you can slide your hands underneath it, feeling the warmth of his skin.

He fumbles with the buttons of your own blouse, before tearing it off of your shoulders as he unfastens the last one, and you can hear his breath catch in his throat as his hands move to touch you.

His mouth parts from yours to get an eyeful of your body, his fingers trace the edge of your bra, watching how your chest heaves against the constraints of the lacey garment with every breath. He groans, the sound guttural in his throat, and fuck, you need him. He brings his lips to your neck, kissing and biting his way down to your collarbone.

“Can we please get this thing off?” His thumbs hook at the straps of your bra.

“Marley’s greatest warrior can’t figure out how to unhook a bra?” You smile as you reach for the clasps.

“Bigger things on the mind right now, sweetheart.” His tongue runs against a spot at the base of your neck that his teeth just bit at, soothing the skin.

“Oh?” You drop your bra to the ground, and he is quick to grab a handful of your breasts, teasing lightly over your nipples. You moan as he slides his hands down your torso, stopping as he gets a handful of your ass, kneading at it with a grin.

“You enjoying yourself there?”

He hums as he presses you further against him and lifts. You let out a startled whimper, your legs wrapping around his hips and hiking up your long skirt in the process. He lifts his head from your neck and looks down at you, hunger in his grey eyes.

“Trying to figure out if I can even get you to the bedroom, or if I’m gonna have to fuck you right here against the wall.”

Zeke grinds his hips against yours, and through your soaked panties you can feel him strain against his trousers. He’s so horny it hurts, and he hisses at the little bit of contact, bucking against you.

“Fuck, baby, need you to decide.”

“B-bed.” You wrap your arms tighter around him and wiggle your hips just enough to get more of that delicious friction. Zeke doesn’t have to be told twice as he carries you to his bedroom and practically throws you into his mattress. It’s soft as a cloud, and you feel yourself sink into it, pulling your skirt from your hips, letting it fall in a pool at the edge of the bed.

Still situated at the side of Zeke’s massive king size bed, you spread your legs, your stockings and your panties all that’s left on you. You circle your clit through the fabric, and watch as his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, his eyes fixed on your clothed pussy like a hungry animal. He makes quick work of his own clothes, undoing the buttons of his shirt and stepping out of his trousers, stripping to his boxers.

Your cheeks flush as you take in the sight of his bare chest. He’s toned in the way only a warrior could be, and there’s a small dusting of blonde hair that trails from his bellybutton to somewhere below his waistband. He towers over you, imposing and arousing at the same time. He looks like a marble statue, beautiful and powerful and perfect. You can see the outline of his bulge against the grey fabric of his underclothes, and he palms himself lazily, his eyes clouded with lust behind his glasses.

“Anyone ever tell you it’s rude to stare?”

You scoff. “Could say the same thing to you.”

He smirks, and you want nothing more than to kiss him. For a moment it looks like he’s about to do just that. Instead, he sinks to his knees between your legs.

“What are you-?”

“Gotta get you ready for me first, babygirl.” He says, hooking his fingers under your panties and pulling them down, letting you kick them off your legs.

“Are you joking? I’m already soaking, you don’t-“

You’re cut off by the feeling of his hot breath against you.

He runs his fingers against your folds, and you bite your lip before he shoves two thick fingers inside. The noises you make as he hooks them inside you have him painfully hard and straining against his boxers, but he knows what he wants. He pulls his fingers from you, earning him a whimper.

“Fine. I can be transparent here.” He groans as he kisses at your inner thigh. “Just wanna bury my face in your cunt, nothing else to it.”

You whimper as his lips circle your clit, the burn of his beard between your thighs coupled with the feeling of his hot breath against you has him having to hold your hips in place to keep your squirming down.

“Z-Zeke, I-”

“Hm?” He releases your clit from his lips but licks slow stripes up between your folds now.

“Too much.”

He teases the tip of his tongue against your hole, his moans the only response. You feel his grip on your hips tighten as he pushes it inside of you. His mouth works against you, making you grind against his face.

“Fuck, baby, you taste so good…”

He’s a madman as he devours your cunt, and you have full confidence that Zeke could make you cum with just his tongue. Instead, he opts to do otherwise, spurred on by the delicious sounds you’re making. You cry out as he circles his lips back around your clit and plunges two thick fingers inside of you.

You can barely think as he curls them into you, fucking his fingers into your weeping cunt while his tongue laps at your clit.

“I’m- I can’t-”

“You can.” He adds a third finger, and the stretch is so food, so filling, as he watches you fall apart. “Good girl, my pretty little slut, come on.”

His tongue never ceases for long, even as he speaks. “Come for me.”

You’re falling apart under his touch, cries and moans spilling out of your mouth as you cum into his. You clamp your thighs down around his head as he keeps fucking his fingers into you, running his tongue desperately against your little bud as you writhe beneath him, only stopping when he feels he’s had his fill of your taste.

He lifts himself up and pushes you further into the bed, letting your head rest on the pillows as he leans on his side next to you.

“You’re a quiet little thing whenever I pass you in the compound. Never knew you could be that loud.”

You’re panting, still coming down from your orgasm.

“Never been fucked in the compound.”

“We can change that.”

Your pussy clenches around nothing and you whine. “Can we start with here first?”

His beard is wet with your slick as he grips your jaw and pulls you in for a kiss. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and you moan as you tug at the waistband of his boxers.

You remove your lips from his to look down at the shape of him, still straining against the fabric.

“Zeke, please…”

He sits up on his knees at the end of the bed, hovering over you, thumbs toying at the elastic.

“Yeah? You want me to fuck you?”

Your little nod is all he needs, pulling his boxers off. You watch as his hard cock springs free of confinement and slaps itself against his stomach. It’s big, and you’re practically drooling at the sight. He crawls over you, lining himself up with your hole, rubbing the tip over your clit. He smirks, watching how you whine and writhe at his teasing.

“You have to beg for it, sweetheart. Let me know how much you want it.”

He fists his cock, leaking precum all over your slit as he drags the head up and down your folds.

“Fuck, Zeke, please fuck me. Need you so bad, just please...”

He grips your hips hard, lines himself up with your hole, and bottoms out in one quick thrust.

You moan and he curses under his breath. It’s so much, all at once. The stretch is much more than his fingers prepared you for, and it’s overwhelming, even with how wet you are. It’s a little painful, but it hurts so good.

“F-fuck, move, fuck me, please. Please, please, please, please.”

He pants into your shoulder as he follows your request. Zeke grabs both of your wrists in one hand and pins them above your head, kissing and sucking at your neck, leaving little purple marks.

“So pretty like this, letting me fill you up so good. Gonna leave my mark everywhere I can on you. You gonna come to work with your neck all marked up from me? Huh?”

You pant and grind your hips against his as he pistons in and out of you. “Y-yes.”

“Gonna advertise to every soldier there that you’re mine? My little whore? You like being fucked like this?” He pulls back out all the way, only to thrust back in at just the right angle that has you seeing stars.

“Yes!”

“You know how long I’ve thought about this? Wanted to just p-pull you into a supply closet and fuck you til you forgot your own name, ‘cuz hell, I didn’t even know it back then, but now…”

He traces his hand down to your clit, and starts to rub circles against it.

“You’re perfect, you know that? F-Fuck... Perfect for me. Fit me so good, god, you’re so tight.”

“Zeke, s’too good, I’m gonna-”

“I know, baby, I know. Me too. Come for me, it’s ok.”

He captures your lips in a hungry kiss, and the closeness is not enough and too much all at once. You can’t tell where he begins and you end and suddenly your orgasm is washing over you in waves as you scream his name. Your arms struggle against his grip and he relents as you cream around his cock. You grab at his back, nails sinking hard into the skin, and you swear he’s letting off steam as your fingers scratch down his back in ecstasy.

Zeke fucks you through it, thumb still playing with your clit as he hammers into you, hips snapping against yours at a rhythm much less even than before.

“Beautiful. So fucking beautiful with my name on your lips and my cock in your cunt.”

You whine, still barely coherent and too fuckdrunk to think as he pounds you hard enough to make the bedframe creak and the headboard slam against the wall.

“G-good girl, you like being a good little-fuck- good little cocksleeve for me?”

“Yes, yes, yes, fuck.”

You’re so overstimulated it hurts. He keeps hitting just the right spot, and while he’s still toying with your sensitive nub, you can tell he can barely hold his focus. He removes his fingers from you and buries his head in your shoulder. His beard is rough against your skin as he lets out a few last thrusts into your cunt, his grip on your hips enough to bruise.

Zeke pulls out and fists himself a few more times, panting before he empties his load on top of you, white ropes of cum shooting out of him as he finishes onto your stomach. Zeke collapses, panting, by your side. He pulls you against him and kisses the top of your head.

You practically purr at the affectionate gesture, and lean into his touch.

He sighs, removes his glasses, and carefully places them on the bedside table, relaxing into the comfort of the bed.

His eyes are closed, and as you snuggle closer to him, you can feel his heartbeat slowly start to return to normal along with your own.

“I think now’s the time I should ask where your bathroom is so I can clean off?” You breathe out, tracing figure eights lazily against the muscles of his chest.

He lets out a tired laugh. “You’re not at work. No cleaning right now. You can afford to be a little messy for a while.”

You hum, unwilling to admit you’re fine either way. You guiltily realize you enjoy the feeling of his cum on your skin, and, instead of admitting that embarrassing thought, you kiss him again.

You whisper against his jaw. “I should go home soon, just-”

He claims your lips in his again to shut you up. “Stay.”

You lay by his side on the same pillow, faces inches from eachother.

That night, you stay. You fall asleep in his arms, and everything somehow feels right. He feels right.

You hate going home to your shitty apartment after that. And Zeke hates seeing you go.

Every week you repeat it all like routine.

Zeke is always there at the pub. You always end up in an endless conversation before following him home, and leaving the next morning to prepare for your afternoon shift.

It only takes one month of this torture for him to ask you to move in.

“Would make it easier. Better than me pretending it’s a coincidence I’m there almost every time you have a day off.” He mutters into your shoulder, as he holds you close.

It’s the easiest decision you’ve ever made.

You laugh at how his beard tickles your skin, pressing yourself further into him, to which he responds by wrapping an arm around you tighter and smiling that smug grin against your skin as you card your fingers through his blond locks and whisper “I figured it wasn’t a coincidence by the third time it happened.”

He kisses you, and cradles your cheek in the palm of his hand. For what feels like the hundredth and the first time, you drift off to sleep in his arms.

You never return to your old apartment, even to grab your things. Zeke has the same books as you, and his bed always was nicer. He buys you much better clothes to make up for what little loss of wardrobe you went through.

You can’t aim too high in Liberio. But with him, you feel like you’ve started over on a clean slate.

And for a time, though you never put a name on it, Zeke Yeager is yours.

#zeke x reader #zeke yeager x reader #me strolling into aot reader fic tumblr like hello I am new in town #I wrote this in an insomniac daze #aot x reader #snk x reader #this will have a plot later but for now I am just sitting here hoping it's both comprehensible and people will like it

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ah-ga-seven · 3 years

Text

Till’ The End of Summer - Chapter 13

>> series masterlist <<

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader

In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.

Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other; even though the world and Yeonjun’s reputation makes things complicated?

Word count: 11,5K

Genre: Angst, Fluff.

Warnings: Heavy angst.

A/N: NOT the final chapter.

“Yeonjun…” his name came out like a whisper. You didn’t know what to do or say. You couldn’t fathom the betrayal and hurt that he must be feeling right now.

“No, there has to be some type of explanation to this. She wouldn’t do this. Why would she? She practically raised me.” He wasn’t listening, just rambling. Trying to make sense of why he heard her voice on the other end of the line.

All of you stayed silent, looking at him with concerned and horrified facial expressions.

“Why would she do this. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Hyung…it does kind of explain why you could never find anything. She’s an in-house maid, she could have erased all traces and-”

“No, shut up. She wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeonjun maybe-” Mia tries to talk but Yeonjun cut her off too.

“No, no. Stop. I don’t want to hear it. This woman, she’s the one that sat with me at night so I didn’t have to eat dinner alone, she bathed me, fed me, read me bedtime stories. It can’t be her.” He didn't know who he was trying to convince. Maybe himself?

Yeonjun wasn’t stupid. He knew what it meant when she answered the phone, but he couldn’t accept it. How could he ever trust anyone ever again if this turned out to be true?

He turned around on his heels so he didn’t have to face you guys, getting lost in thought as he pursed his lips together while running his hand through his hair. He was trying incredibly hard not to cry, until the thought of almost losing you crossed his mind, making a tear escape anyway.

He threw his head back, wiping the single tear from his eye, not wanting to break down in front of all of you. He needed to stay level headed and think rationally. But why was it so god damn hard for him this time when he always managed to pull through?

“She knows how much I love y/n,” he mumbles to no one in particular, but you all heard it and suddenly your heart wrenched in your chest.

He really does love you.

Even though your relationship was far from, well…a relationship. Yeonjun never shied away from expressing his feelings out in the open. Ever since he realized he loved you, he basically never shut up about it to the people around him; even under these circumstances.

You watch him with sad eyes. You didn’t get time to process what happened to you literally minutes ago, but none of it mattered anymore.

You had to set your feelings aside to be there for him.

You’ll heal from it some other time…right?

“Maybe getting to her would cause your breakdown? Meaning you won’t go for the CEO position in the future. You told us she’s the one who told you to come back here, maybe it’s because she didn’t want you to ruin her plans…” Mia says trying to piece things together, and Yeonjun hated to admit it; but it made perfect sense.

Lita knows that if he lost you, he’d completely break down and lose focus. He'd lose the will to succeed because he wouldn't have anyone left to live for.

He’d rather die than have anything happen to you, and maybe that’s dramatic, but it was no lie.

You got up from your chair and walked over to him. You hold onto his forearm before moving in front of him to announce your presence in case you’d startle him, and when his eyes landed on you his pained facial expression completely disappeared.

It’s like you were a remedy to his broken soul. Every time he laid eyes on you, touched you, or kissed you, he healed a little.

You don’t say anything and just wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek against his chest. His heart was beating fast as he wrapped his arms around you to hug you back. He needed this. He needed you.

All you wanted was for him to be okay. For everything to go back to normal and to take away his pain but all of this was just too fucking crazy to wrap your mind around.

He rested his chin on top of your head and closed his eyes in solace as he sighed. Giving himself a second to breathe before he untangled himself from you without making eye contact.

“I have to call my mom,” he mumbles without emotion.

You look at him a little puzzled, as did Soobin and Mia who gave each other looks of confusion at his suddenly changed attitude.

He always does this. He always pushes his emotions aside in the blink of an eye and gets back to business as if it’s nothing.

Yeonjun disappears into your bedroom with his phone as he closes the door behind him. The closed door was enough for all three of you to understand to give him space, and so you did.

With a heavy head and a heavy heart, you sit down at your dinner table again, not feeling Mia and Soobin’s worried eyes on you as you bury your face in your hands. Soobin scooted closer to you and rubbed your back in warming up and down motions to assure you of his presence and Mia, who was sitting across from you, simply grabbed your hand with both of hers.

You sit like that in silence for god knows how long. You were trying to piece things together and process everything that has happened to you and then it hit you.

Every decision Yeonjun has made up until now was to protect you from the unimaginable which somehow became imaginable.

And suddenly you felt bad for hating him. You hated him for loving you enough to let you go in favor of your own wellbeing. But God knows you did not think of any danger of this caliber.

It was only months ago that your meaningless crush on Yeonjun got the best of you. If someone from the future would’ve told you that this would be the outcome of pursuing him, you’d probably punch that person in the face for being ridiculous, yet here you are.

Completely and utterly broken, afraid, tired, and still in love.

And despite everything, you’d still choose to be with Yeonjun if you got to hit the re-do button.

Yeonjun emerged from your bedroom and as you heard the door creak open your head immediately snapped into his direction.

His face held an expression you couldn’t quite read, so you sigh. You bite your lip in anticipation as you watch him pull out a chair of your dining table, waiting for him to sit down and speak up.

“My mom didn’t believe me at first.”

“What? Why?” Mia asks with big eyes.

“Well, can you blame her? She has worked for your family since you were born hyung, this is a big accusation.” Soobin says as he tries to comfort Yeonjun by patting the hair that had grown out in the nape of Yeonjun’s neck. His eyes closed at the physical comfort and he leaned into Soobin’s touch for a split second. The sight was endearing, yet extremely sad.

“She told me she’s letting her people look into it. We can’t contact the police or talk to anyone about what happened. We’ll have to keep a low profile and return to our regular lives so we won’t raise suspicion. My mom will keep me updated and send security to keep us safe in the meantime. They’ll be on guard from tomorrow morning, we won’t even notice they’re here.” Yeonjun explains as if he’s leading a business meeting. All that was missing was a PowerPoint presentation. “Also, that’s evidence,” he says pointing to the cracked phone and the knife in the middle of your dinner table. “We need to put it somewhere safe and make sure no one else touches it.”

The three of you look at him a little dumbfounded.

“What do you mean by her people?” Soobin asks.

“Private detectives,” Yeonjun answers as If it’s nothing.

Private detectives, security, assassins, betrayal. What in the fuck has your life turned into? The things people would do to get to the Choi’s fortunes baffled you, and once again you were at a loss for words.

“Yeonjun, that’s a lot to process,” you say rubbing your forehead as the pain returns. Your hangover never really left you and now it was replaced with a whole new one.

“So, if we have security starting from tomorrow morning…what about tonight?” Soobin asks looking from you to Mia and back to Yeonjun.

“I suggest I stay with y/n. You stay with Mia.” Yeonjun says with a straight face.

You stare at him and make eye contact, and just before you wanted to say something, he interrupts you; knowing what you were going to ask him.

“Please don’t ask me if I’m okay y/n, I’m not.” He sighs as he avoids eye contact, playing with his fingers to distract himself from all of your eyes on him. “I’ll completely shut down if I let myself feel right now. I need to be level headed. I’ll deal with it later.”

Later. It’s always later with him, but when will later be too late?

You all stay quiet for a short while. Your minds going into overdrive and suddenly you felt crippling anxiety wash over you as the memory of that man trying to break your lock comes back to you.

Yay, another trauma to add to the list.

“What if he comes back…” you say in a whisper. Your voice cracked in fear and Yeonjun’s eyes darted to yours. Immediately heartbroken as you pulled your knees up to your chest. Hugging yourself to feel something warmer than the chills running down your spine at the thought of not feeling safe in your own home.

“I’m not leaving you,” Yeonjun says with determination in his eyes.

You all had school tomorrow, and if you all had to act as if nothing happened tonight, the four of you would need at least some sleep.

After going over the game plan once more paired with a lot of convincing that you’d be alright with just Yeonjun being here, Soobin left with Mia.

Aside from everything, you were glad they left together so they could talk and hash a few things out. Even though you didn’t know what your dynamic with Yeonjun would be like once the two of you were alone together, having more people in your apartment would only make you even more restless than you already were.

The truth is, you had no idea how to act around Yeonjun anymore.

Too much has happened and too much was weighing down on the both of you to be able to talk about it; so when you closed your front door, you froze before turning around.

He was on your couch, furiously typing to what you assume to be his mother and you know better than to ask about it, so you just awkwardly make your way over to him.

“Uhm…I still have a few of your clothes here. You could shower and change if that makes you feel any better,” you say as you look at him, anxiously waiting for him to look back at you.

He lifted his head from his phone and stared at you, and then at his surroundings as he only now noticed that Mia and Soobin had left already.

His furrowed eyebrows relaxed as he laid eyes on you, and his shoulders fell in relief as he nodded.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll go do that,” he says with a soft smile and an almost too polite tone.

It was as if you were strangers. The tension in the room was noticeable so you averted your attention on the box filled with his stuff next to your front door.

“I-it’s in there.” You stutter as you get up. Silently retrieving it to hand it to him.

You were going to send his stuff back to him, figuring your relationship was basically doomed in the past week.

He held a neutral facial expression as he took the box from you. His fingers lightly ghosting over yours as he grabbed it from your hold. “You packed my stuff?” he asks as he sets the box aside on your couch.

He wasn’t hurt. In fact, he completely understood. But in some way you wanted him to be hurt.

You wanted him to show you any other emotion than the stoic expression he was holding now.

“I…well, y-yeah.” you avoid his stare out of insecurity, and he seemed to notice.

“Hey, shhh. I don’t blame you. I get it, really,” he says as he got up from the couch, getting to eye level with you.

He gave you a faint smile as he caressed your cheek with his thumb.

The Yeonjun you fell in love with would litter your face with kisses to make sure you felt reassured. He’d hug you tightly. Try to make you smile and hold you until you felt better. But the Yeonjun in front of you just turned around, grabbing the box again before he made eye contact once more. “Go to bed, don’t be afraid. I’ll be sleeping on the couch so nothing can happen to you okay?”

You nod absentmindedly, avoiding his eyes.

He gave you one last look before he made his way over to your bathroom and locked the door. By doing this he created a distance he hadn’t created before and suddenly you felt hollow.

'Oh my god, he locked the door.' you think to yourself.

He’s distancing himself from you because he’s in pain. But he wouldn’t tell you that with actual words because he didn’t know how.

And if he broke down now, he wouldn’t stop.

You stood there in the exact same spot for at least another 30 seconds. Listening to him turn on the faucet of your shower.

There was nothing you wanted more at the moment than to join him. Massage his sore muscles, and hold him close to be his security blanket but you can’t. And even if you could, you don’t know if you should.

After chugging down a glass of cold water while staring at your front door in paranoia you reluctantly made your way to your bed.

You were tossing and turning, trying to hear if Yeonjun already finished getting ready for bed.

When you heard the faucet close and the door of your bathroom unlock, something inside of you hoped that he’d change his mind and crawl into your bed with you, but after 5 long and agonizing minutes of waiting, you gave up on the probability of him doing so.

You hated this.

You hated that he was so close, yet so far, and you hated even more that you were the one who created this distance.

The two of you never got to really talk, meaning he was just being respectful and mindful of your wishes. He was trying to give you the space you asked for but after tonight, you weren’t sure if space was what you needed.

You bite your lip, contemplating if your next move was the right one to make but after a full hour of not being able to fall asleep because of your overthinking ass, you figured you had nothing to lose.

You get out of your bed with your duvet wrapped around you like a cape and make your way to your living room silently, dragging your feet on your wooden floor.

He left a light on in your hallway, which you were happy about because you were able to see his sleeping form on your couch in the warm yet dimmed light.

He was lying on his back. His arms were crossed over his chest and his body faced your front door so he’d be able to see if anything were to happen.

As you got closer to him, you study his facial expression.

His lips were slightly parted and he was breathing slowly. He must’ve been completely exhausted to be able to sleep under these circumstances and you purse your lips together, noticing how his face still held a pained expression even in his sleep.

You unwrap your blanket from yourself and pull it over Yeonjun’s sleeping form as carefully as you could and tuck him in a little.

Your initial plan was to cuddle next to him on your couch, but given how peacefully he was sleeping you decide against it.

Instead, you move a piece from his grown out bangs away from his eyes and kiss his forehead before you got up, ready to walk back to your room until you feel a hand taking a firm hold on your wrist.

You look back in shock, feeling like you got caught. It took everything in you to suppress a yelp and when you made eye contact with him, he chuckled lowly.

He wasn’t asleep at all. In fact, he was struggling with the exact same thoughts.

He opened the covers for you, pulling you down with him without a word and you gladly accepted the invitation.

You nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck as you rest your hand on his chest. He made sure you were completely covered by the blanket as well, and held on to your waist with one hand as the other patted your head in slow, comforting strokes.

Your lashes fluttered closed in solace and he sighed, looking down at you before he kissed your forehead.

The action made you look up at him through your lashes and when you notice his lingering stare you quickly look away, resting your cheek on his chest as you sigh contently.

The cliches were all true. There really is nothing compared to feeling at home in someone’s arms, and for a moment you forgot about all the trauma and heartbreak.

You kiss his neck, feeling yourself doze off as he kept playing with your hair.

“Yeonjun…” you whisper.

The sound of your voice surprised him. He frowned as he looked down at you, halting his movements.

“Hmm?”

“Just so you know. I never stopped loving you.”

Being in a lecture hall at 9 AM as if nothing had happened last night was literal torture.

You had to hear Mr. Davis ramble about stuff you already knew about, but he took attendance so there was no way you could skip out on it without failing his class.

Though you had gotten a good night’s rest, it was hard to concentrate with everything going on and it was even harder to concentrate knowing you were being watched.

Yeonjun’s mom wasn’t playing when she said that you’d all get personal security as quickly as dawn came. They followed you around disguised as regular college kids and kept their distance. In some moments you forgot they were around but when you looked over your shoulder in the lecture hall as you felt a pair of eyes on you; the reality of things hit you again.

The lecture hall was filled with at least 200 students, so no one would bat an eye at their presence. They blended in perfectly, which was both reassuring yet scary because anyone with malicious intent could be doing the exact same thing.

You kept looking around the lecture hall with suspicion, completely zoning out and not paying attention. Mia, who was sitting next to you was dozing off, so you nudged her to keep her awake.

“You didn’t sleep?” you ask as you move a piece of her hair from her line of sight.

She sighed, shaking her head as she fixes her posture.

“No, Soobin and I stayed up all night to talk and once we fell asleep it was 5 AM,” she whispers.

“Did you…work things out?”

“We talked, we’re nowhere near how it used to be but we agreed on working through this.”

You smiled to yourself. Good. They were both miserable without each other, and even though there were a lot of things left unsaid and unresolved, you were glad things were slowly going back to normal.

“How about you? Did you and Yeonjun talk about it?” She asks looking over her shoulder to see if no one was paying attention to your conversation and you catch yourself doing the same.

“No. I didn’t know how to, and he made it obvious that he didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, he’s going to have to sooner than later.”

You nod in agreement. You basically haven’t solved anything with Mia, but it was nice to have her to talk to about all of this. Sort of? There was still a lot of communicating to be done but first, this whole Lita situation had to be fixed.

“We never got to have that conversation back in your apartment either,” Mia says as she reminisced back to the moment your lives turned into an action movie.

“We will, soon.”

“Ladies!” your professor's voice bounced off the walls loudly and you immediately knew you were being called out for talking in his class.

“If you want to talk so badly you should’ve just joined the debate team,” he says clicking his tongue, and suddenly everyone's’ eyes were on both you and Mia.

So much for keeping a low profile...

“Sorry.” You both say in unison.

Just before Mr Davis was about to continue his lecture he made eye contact with you and stopped in his tracks. “Wait, y/n right?”

You frown in surprise, and so does Mia. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Stay after class, there's something I need to talk to you about.”

Your eyes dart to Mia’s but she just shrugs, equally as confused as you are. You simply nod at your professors’ request and just like that he continues his class.

For the remaining half hour of the lecture, you were starting to wonder why he’d want to see you after class. When the lecture ended, you waited for most of the students to exit before you approached him on the stage with Mia trailing behind you after you asked her to.

Your invisible security guards waited outside of the door, and luckily Mr. Davis didn’t notice.

“I’m sorry Mia, this is a private matter.”

Mia gave you a look but you just nodded that it was ok. You were dying to know what was going on by now.

“I’ll see you at lunch,” she says, and you nod as she walked out.

One of the security guards left with her, trailing behind her in the hallway and the other still stood at the entrance of the lecture hall. Watching you and Mr Davis while also skimming his surroundings with his eyes.

You take a deep breath and face your teacher. “You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yes. Yes, I did.” He walks over to his desk and retrieves a stack of papers from his drawer and you immediately recognize the front page.

It’s the research paper you wrote right before summer. It is the paper you finished writing in the cafeteria when Soobin basically forbid you to date Yeonjun after he came over to your table to flirt with you. The irony of it all was off-putting.

You totally forgot about it. That paper resembled a new beginning in your life somehow, but why would your teacher want to talk to you about it? Was it that bad?

“Did I fail it?” you ask with concern evident in your eyes, but your teacher just gives you a look of confusion and starts laughing at you.

“Fail!? y/n this is the best paper I’ve read in my career as a teacher, that’s 20 whole years.” He says as he sat down on the edge of his desk, giving you a warm smile

Your eyes widen in surprise. “What?”

“Yes, in fact. I sent it to a former colleague at Brown University, and they were so impressed and intrigued by your hypothesis that they want to fund your research.” He exclaims excitedly.

“I don’t….I don’t think I’m following sir…”

“They want you to spend a semester there, so you can carry out your research. Your return depends on your work tempo and the development period. They’ll provide a living space and take care of all of your expenses. This is huge. y/n. None of my students have gotten an opportunity like this. This is quite the offer and to be blunt. I think you should take it.”

Your mind goes into overdrive.

This is huge. Absolutely huge. A prestigious University like Brown had enough faith in your research to invest actual money into it. How did this happen?

“This…is a lot to take in,” you say a little dazed as you rake your hand through your hair.

“I know, I will send you an email with all of the details. Give it a good thought and let me know by the end of the week. If you decide to go, you’ll leave as soon as possible. I’m so excited for you! You have no idea how big this could be for your future. This could re-write a lot about what we know about neuroscience. It’s groundbreaking.”

He gave you a pat on your shoulder as he started to pack his things into his briefcase. Leaving you with your graded paper in your hand as you look down at it.

You scored a 100.

A hundred? How did this even happen?

It took you a full minute to collect yourself before you were able to walk out of that lecture hall.

You silently made your way outside, taking a deep breath of fresh air before sitting down on a random bench to think things through, but when you heard the door open behind you with your designated security guard nonchalantly standing beside the door as he tried not to disturb you, you scoff in annoyance.

This had to stop. Quickly. You wanted your life back as soon as possible.

You swallow harshly as you stare at the large document in your hands.

Would you be able to leave everything behind for half a year or longer by yourself? Would you be able to leave your friends? Gyu, Tae, Hyuka, Mia, Soobin…Yeonjun.

You couldn’t imagine leaving him out of all of them. Even though Soobin and yourself haven’t spent more than 1 week apart since birth it wasn’t necessarily him you were worried about.

It was Yeonjun. What would this mean for your relationship? And what kind of partner would you be if you decided to leave him behind in the midst of the hardest time in his life?

He needed you and you needed him. But you also knew that you couldn’t let an opportunity like this go for the sake of an undefined relationship with someone who caused you more harm than good.

This was a lot to think about but then it hit you that you didn’t even have the freedom to think.

You checked the time on your phone and realized you were running late to the only class you shared with all 6 of them; Advanced English.

It’s a class that mixed both different years and majors, and all of you applied for it during that picnic before summer, just for the hell of it. All of you wanted to share at least one class together and it was the only available option.

“Shit,” you huff under your breath before you quickly grab your things and make a run for it. Your security guard had trouble following you unnoticed like this, so he decided to keep an even larger distance.

As you make it to the classroom, it was already completely filled as you were the last one to arrive. Your shadow stayed outside, sitting down at an individual study booth where he could keep an eye on things, and you couldn’t be more glad that he didn’t follow you inside.

You apologize to your teacher for being late and make your way to a random table, avoiding the one your friends were sitting at.

All of their eyes darted to you in confusion, but Yeonjun and Soobin looked at you a little worriedly.

“Is she ok? Did she not see us?” Taehyun asks as he cocked his head to the side.

“She had to stay behind in our other class, maybe she’s upset?” Mia explains, shrugging her shoulders.

“Stay behind? Why?” Soobin asks raising his eyebrow as he looks at you with concern.

“I don’t know. Mr. Davis asked me to leave before he spoke to her.”

Beomgyu sighs. “He’s a dick. I hope he didn’t yell at her. He was my guidance coach last year”

“He’s only a dick to people who don’t do shit in his classes,” Hueningkai states rolling his eyes, which earned him a hard punch to his upper arm from Beomgyu.

Yeonjun watched you closely as Gyu and Hueningkai bickered as background noise. He could tell you were stressed by the way you were tapping your heel on the floor while you keep clicking your pen on your notebook. He sighed, closing his books as he grabbed his stuff.

Since the class was about to start, people were looking at Yeonjun for suddenly switching seats. You had no idea what was going on until you hear the chair next to you being pulled back.

Your eyes meet and your anxiety vanishes. He sat down without a word, taking your hand under the table while intertwining your fingers together in an attempt to calm you down.

He didn’t know what had you so out of it, but he figured being hunted by some unknown man commissioned by his housemaid was enough to have you lose your mind.

A few girls seemed to notice Yeonjun’s sweet actions which made them audibly swoon at his loving gesture, which made Taehyun, Beomgyu and Hueningkai gag a little while Mia and Soobin just gave each other knowing looks.

He rubbed those comforting circles into your hand and kissed your temple quickly before averting his attention back on the board.

Luckily this class was followed by a lengthy and desperately needed break. When your professor dismissed you all earlier than expected, your friends make their way to your table just as quickly as Yeonjun turned to face you fully.

You weren’t sure what to tell them yet, but you knew they had questions as to why you were late.

“Hey? Are you ok? Why did Mr. Davis make you stay back?” Soobin asks as he sat down on the corner of your table.

Beomgyu started to randomly play with the ends of your hair, Mia stood beside Yeonjun and Hyuka and Tae stood beside you waiting with anticipation.

You got up, clearing your throat. “Uhm, he wanted to talk to me about the paper I handed in before summer.”

“Oh no, did you fail?” Beomgyu asks with sad eyes.

You shake your head, pulling the report out of your bag, placing it on the table so all of them could look at it.

“A 100!?” Taehyun gasps.

“Wow. You fucking nerd.” Beomgyu says rolling his eyes. “This is why you’re down? What’s wrong with you.” Hueningkai adds as he gently nudges your shoulder.

Yeonjun looks from the paper to you with big and proud eyes. He gives you a tender smile as he caresses your cheek. “This is incredible. I’m so proud of you,” he speaks with sincerity.

You bite your lip as you nod absentmindedly and force out a smile.

“Can we go have lunch. I’m starving.” Taehyun says as he walks out of the classroom first, followed by an equally hungry Beomgyu and Hueningkai.

As they left Soobin turns to you. “Ok, so what’s really wrong.”

“Nothing. The whole being followed everywhere thing is just getting to me I guess.”

“I’m so sorry.” Yeonjun says as he avoids eye contact. His tone was somber, and suddenly you feel bad.

“Hey, look at me,” you say as you tug on his chin. “None of this is your fault. You can’t blame yourself for what’s happening. This is out of your control, do you understand?” your tone was stern as you spoke to him. You talked to him as if you were trying to make a child understand something but it was necessary.

You needed him to understand.

He bit his lip, wanting to disagree with you but Soobin jumped in to back you up. “She’s right. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Everything will be okay.”

You had one more class left for the day but you decided to skip it, not being able to focus on anything else other than the life-changing decision you would have to make soon.

You desperately needed to consult someone about this and even though things weren’t quite the same between you two, the only person you can confide in about something like this was Mia.

Soobin would be too emotionally involved, and even though Mia is too, she’d be more rational about things.

She was on your couch, reading the email Mr. Davis sent you and her eyes widened right before she started yelling.

“WHAT!? BROWN! THIS IS HUGE!?”

“I mean don’t get me wrong, our school is great…but it’s no Brown University.” she gulps with enlarged pupils.

You sigh, relieved to know that she’s excited for you, but then the inevitable question came up.

“How long? Like a few weeks?” she asks with an excited twinkle in her eyes.

You shake your head. “More like a few months…6 to be exact.”

And suddenly her smile falters. “Oh…”

“Yeah…oh.” You say mimicking her as you sit down next to her.

“I- well…that’s a lot to think about,” Mia says with a pout. It was finally clicking to her why you were so out of it earlier today.

“I know…” you say as you stare into distance, losing yourself in your thoughts once again.

“What’s holding you back?” Mia asks as she studies you. You look back at her with sad eyes and without a word, she could already guess what you were about to say.

“Yeonjun?” she assumes and you nod in response.

“It just doesn’t seem right to leave him in the midst of all of this.”

“Y/n…don’t you think distance might be exactly what you need from him? If you are meant to be, it’ll be. And if you think of it. Maybe time apart is what you need. This is the perfect opportunity to heal individually and come back as better people…so you can be better together.”

Well. She has a point there.

“It’s not like I want you gone, fuck no. I’m gonna miss you so much and I’m pretty sure Soobin will fall apart without you but…y/n this is a once in a lifetime type of opportunity.” Mia says as she wraps an arm around you.

You sigh, moving into her hold to hug her. She’s surprised by the action, not thinking you were ready for that yet, you know; given everything that happened, but you desperately needed a hug right now. Mia tightened her hold on you and sighed.

“You’ll be okay. And we’ll all just be a phone call away.”

A single tear escapes from your eye and you let go of her, wiping it away while trying to contain your emotions.

You know you have to go. You really do. But what you don’t know is how to tell Yeonjun.

“Will you help me write the email to Mr. Davis? I’m going to tell him that I’m going.”

Mia gave you a weak smile, wiping away the watery remnants of your tear away from your cheek. She sighed, scooting closer to you.

“Of course.”

“Hyung, pass the ball,” Taehyun says with a raised eyebrow as he watches Yeonjun dribble the ball absentmindedly for over 30 seconds.

They had practice, and even though Yeonjun wasn’t feeling up to it at all, he knew he had to go. He had to live his life like he normally would and basketball practice was one of those ‘normal’ things.

Yeonjun snapped out of his thoughts and passed the ball to Taehyun before looking over his shoulder to watch one of the security details on the benches.

A lot of people came to watch during practice, so it wouldn’t be noticeable, but Taehyun has the wit of a mind reader, therefore he immediately caught on to who Yeonjun was looking at.

“Who’s that?” Taehyun asks as he passes the ball back to Yeonjun. He swiftly caught it, looking at Taehyun with wide eyes. “Ehm, don’t know. A scout maybe?”

Taehyun narrowed his eyes at Yeonjun and sighed. “I know you and Soobin are keeping secrets from the rest of us. We’re not dumb hyung, or at least I’m not.”

Yeonjun sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Just trust us. Once all of it is over we’ll tell you.”

“Once what is over?” he tried again.

“Taehyun.” Yeonjun’s voice was strict, it was a clear warning for Taehyun to stop asking questions but the younger one wasn’t quite having it.

He rolled his eyes, dropping the ball as he walked off to a different teammate.

The last thing Yeonjun wanted was to create a distance between all of them but he had no choice. The fewer people knew, the better it’d be.

Soobin stood in the corner, watching them closely, and approached once Taehyun walked off in annoyance.

He sighed, patting Yeonjun on the shoulder which made Yeonjun jump at the unexpected touch.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just me.” Soobin speaks as he fixes a piece of Yeonjun’s hair, which made him smile at Soobin softly.

“The boys are getting suspicious,” Yeonjun states as he eyes them from afar with his arms crossed.

“Yeah, this morning Beomgyu asked me why we were being secretive,” Soobin says doing the same.

“Beomgyu did?”

“Yeah…”

“Well then it must be fucking obvious cause he’s oblivious.”

Soobin chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, they’ll understand once we-” he got cut off by the buzzing of Yeonjun’s phone. Soobin watched Yeonjun carefully as he looked at the caller ID.

“It’s my mom,” Yeonjun says with big eyes.

Soobin lips form an ‘o’ as he steps closer to check his phone. “Well, pick it up?”

“Wait, come with me to the dressing rooms,” Yeonjun says as he drags Soobin with him.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai were watching them run off together from the bleachers.

Hueningkai’s eyes followed them as he raised his eyebrows in confusion. “First they don’t talk to each other for a week, and now they don’t talk to us.”

“I don’t know what’s going on with them either,” Beomgyu says as he clings onto Taehyuns arm while resting his head on Tae’s shoulder. “I just want all of us to get along like we used to.”

Taehyun pouts. “Then let’s find out what’s going on with them.”

As the boys kept speculating about the situation, Soobin and Yeonjun had locked themselves in a dressing room; making sure that no one was around before Yeonjun answered the phone, putting it on speaker so both of them could hear clearly.

“Mom?”

“What took you so long?” His mothers’ voice was clear and calm, yet cold.

“I had to go somewhere secluded, I was in the middle of practice,” he carefully explains. Yeonjun always had the feeling he had to walk on eggshells around his mom, even in a situation like this. “Soobin is also here by the way.”

“Oh…well. I’m just going to cut to the chase. Lita confessed.”

Yeonjun’s eyes darted to Soobin’s equally enlarged ones as his heart dropped. He gulped, as did Soobin. He didn’t understand how Yeonjun’s mother could break the news to him in such an insensitive way.

He knew how much Yeonjun was hurting because of it, and confirmation would only make that worse, so why didn’t Yeonjun’s mother try to at least make an effort to soothe Yeonjun’s already gaping wounds?

“She did?” Yeonjuns eyes instantly started to fill with tears and Soobin noticed. Putting his head on Yeonjun’s shoulder as he quietly rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him.

Yeonjun couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that the woman that cared for him when no one else would, was a traitor. A cold-blooded traitor who was just after their money.

Was it all a hoax? Did she never care for him at all? Or did something happen that made her turn on his family?

This was the biggest betrayal of his life. If the one person that actually cared for him was able to hurt him like this, then what about everyone else? This ignited a whole new set of trust issues and yet another traumatic experience to talk about with his therapist and honestly, he didn’t know if he could take it anymore.

“She admitted to wanting to overthrow the company. But she did not admit to being behind the attempted assault to y/n. And since no one got hurt paired with the fact that there is no real evidence, we can’t incarcerate her for that.”

“What!?” Yeonjun exclaims in disbelief. “You’re telling me that we can’t press charges against Lita for trying to hurt y/n?”

“I’m afraid not…you’re going to have to fly out again to testify as a witness. I don’t want to bother y/n too much so I’ll just have my people call her for questioning, however since you are the sole heir to Choi Enterprises, I’m going to need you there in court.” His mother states as if it’s nothing.

Yeonjun’s mind was spinning. He had too many questions and too little brain capacity to be able to ask all of them at once. He swallowed harshly as Soobin motioned to Yeonjun to give him the phone, and without a thought, he did.

Soobin cleared his throat before speaking, hoping not to be out of line by doing so, but he could tell Yeonjun was having a hard time to collect his thoughts.

“Hello mam, this is Soobin. Uhm, I hope it’s ok.”

“Oh, hi. Yes, of course. Proceed.”

Soobin smacked his lips nervously, instantly intimidated by the sound of her voice yet he decided to speak anyway.

“How do we know for sure if Lita’s minions will stand down now that she got caught? And is she in jail now? I’m not quite sure if I get it. And do we need the security guards? It’s pretty bothersome and distracting to all of us…” Soobin says as he watches Yeonjun stare into nothingness.

He sighed awaiting a response. Soobin laced his fingers with Yeonjun’s to calm him down once more and it seemed to work as Yeonjun’s attention averted back to the conversation at hand.

“We won’t know for sure. But it’d be really stupid of her to try anything now that we’ve caught her. The security details will stay with you all until this is over with, that’s not up for discussion. And yes. Lita will rot in jail. I’ll make sure of it.”

Shivers ran down Soobin’s spine at the scary tone of Yeonjun’s mother. She was beyond reasoning with but could he blame her? A trusted family employee of over 20 years has made the ultimate betrayal. Soobin couldn’t imagine the hurt and anger she must be feeling right now, so he didn’t dare to go against her about the security guard situation.

Yeonjun’s lower lip trembled as he silently took the phone from Soobin again.

“Mom…” his voice was shaky. He sounded lost and scared, like a child calling out for his mother in distress.

His mother immediately softened at the sound of his voice. Her heart hurting for him as the realization hit her. She had been in overdrive. Lacking sleep and working day and night to make sure Yeonjun and his friends were safe, but she didn’t stop to think about how he’d be feeling in the midst of all of this.

Her mind briefly flashed back to when she confronted Lita in her home office, surrounded by her security and private detectives. She reminisced to the horror on Lita’s face after getting caught for the unforgivable.

She was so busy with making sure that Lita wouldn’t be a threat anymore, that she completely disregarded the fact that Yeonjun might be having the hardest time of them all.

Even though Lita was a trusted employee, their relationship didn’t go further than business, but Yeonjun was raised by her, and she completely forgot about that.

“I can’t take this…” a tear escapes Yeonjun’s eye. And another one, and another one. Wiping them away was no use as they kept coming, so he just let them fall freely. He silently sobbed while Soobin put Yeonjuns head on his shoulder, letting him weep like a baby as he still held on to Yeonjun’s hand.

His mother fell silent, unable to comfort her son because she didn’t know how.

“I’m sorry Yeonjun,” she says in almost a whisper. “I’m sorry you have to feel this type of pain. I will do everything I can to help you okay? I promise. Once the situation is dealt with I will get you the best team of people to help you with your troubles, I won’t mess up this time. I promise I’ll be there for you.”

Yeonjun sniffed, trying to collect himself to respond but he couldn’t. Promises are just words. Words that have meant nothing in his life.

“I don’t need a team of people mom, I need you,” his voice cracked. “I need this pain to stop. I just need my mother, not a lawyer or another therapist. I just need you. I need a parent.”

Soobin’s heart wrenched in his chest at the plea’s Yeonjun was making to his mother. He couldn’t imagine having this type of relationship with his own parents.

In the moment Soobin made a pledge with himself that no matter how much Yeonjun seems to fuck up, he won’t ever leave him behind. He will make sure to be the rock Yeonjun needs, regardless of his mother actually trying or not.

Taehyun, Beomgyu, and Hueningkai had their ears pressed against the door throughout the whole thing. As silence engulfed the space, the three of them looked at each other with enlarged pupils as shock took over their faces.

They put two and two together individually. Looking at each other with disheartened expressions.

“Oh no…” Taehyun says in a whisper.

You didn’t know how to tell them.

You didn’t know how to tell Yeonjun or Soobin individually so you just invited all of the boys over at once to get it over with.

It was nighttime by now and you figured you’d cook them all dinner given the fact that food always lures them to your place. Hopefully, the sweet taste of your homemade brownies would subside the bitter news you had to break to them.

Mia helped with everything, the table was fully decked out with all sorts of dishes and it was obvious you were overcompensating for something but they had no clue yet.

When they got to your apartment, Yeonjun and Soobin were missing from the group which made you panic a little.

“Damn what’s the occasion?” Beomgyu asks as his mouth waters, looking at the absolute feast you cooked up for them.

“Uhm, well. I have some news, but I have to wait for Yeonjun and Soobin to tell you guys.”

Mia awkwardly took place at the table between Hueningkai and Taehyun and Tae just stared at you. “Please tell me you’re not pregnant.”

“NO! Oh my god. Tae. No.” you give him a horrified look and pat your stomach.

“Thank god, I’m too young to be an uncle.” Hueningkai sighs in relief as he slouched in his seat.

“Yeah, when you said you were cooking us dinner cause you had an announcement to make I really thought Yeonjun finally knocked someone up.” Beomgyu snickers as he shoved a dumpling in his mouth.

You roll your eyes and look at the two empty seats. “Do you know where they are?”

Your question triggered a silence so awkward, you’ve never experienced anything like it in your friend group.

Taehyun looked at Beomgyu, and Beomgyu looked at Hueningkai; while Hueningkai looked to Taehyun to take the lead.

“I-uhh…” Tae starts, but he stopped himself. He didn’t know how much you both knew of the situation so he decided against speaking about it.

“They had some errands to run. I’m sure they’ll be here soon.”

Beomgyu visibly relaxed in his seat at Tae made up an alibi for the boys’ whereabouts, but Mia – being the hyper-aware one – narrowed her eyes at them.

The boys collectively agreed on pretending they didn’t know what was going on until either Yeonjun or Soobin would tell them themselves. They wanted to give them; and especially Yeonjun, time to process and didn’t want to push him into explaining the situation to them if he wasn’t ready for it.

Also, they felt bad for eavesdropping and weren’t sure how to start the conversation even if they wanted to.

The twisting of your lock snaps you out of the moment and suddenly fear takes over your entire body. The trauma triggered by Lita’s minion trying to break your lock last night was the cause of your shocked Pikachu face, but when you see Soobin and Yeonjun in your door opening you relax instantly.

You gave Soobin a key, how could you forget.

“Oh, I didn’t expect you guys here so soon.” Hueningkai comments, which made Gyu and Tae look at him with threatening eyes.

“Where else would we be?” Soobin asks as he walks towards the table. He greeted you with a kiss on your head, and Mia with a kiss on her cheek before he sat down next to you.

The distance between Mia and Soobin was still odd, he’d normally kiss her lips but he played it off well as he slid his chair towards the table while eyeing the food closely.

Yeonjun on the other hand; greeted you with a soft smile while simply petting your head before he sat down on the opposite side of Soobin.

The atmosphere was odd. Yeonjun was uncharacteristically quiet but you figured it was because of everything that was going on and honestly you couldn’t blame him. His head must be the fullest out of all of you, so you made sure to keep the conversation light and airy.

Your funny group dynamic slowly returned, and before you knew it, it was already time for dessert.

“I’ll help you.” Yeonjun offered as he cleared the table.

You were in your kitchen, taking a deep breath as you were cutting up the last brownie, prettily putting it on a plate with some red berries on the side.

As Yeonjun approached with the dishes, he watched you carefully. He put the dirty plates in the sink before he nudged your shoulder softly to get your attention, pulling you out of your concentration of perfectly assembling your masterpiece.

You look up, and you’re met with his beautiful soft smile. His eyes were glistening and he sighed contently. “You went all out,” he comments as he watches you do your thing. “Yeah, maybe I should deliver one to my designated security guard in the parking lot,” you joke under your breath and even though your sense of humor was pretty dark given the situation, he seemed to appreciate it as he giggled. Your heart did a thing at the sound. You missed it. You missed hearing his loud laugh. You missed seeing him happy.

“There’s actually new information I want to share with you and Mia, but we’ll have to wait until the boys leave.”

You look at him shortly before you avert your gaze back on the task at hand. You really didn’t know if the timing was right to talk about your exchange to Brown University but given the fact that you were leaving so soon, you also knew that you didn’t have much of a choice.

Suddenly you felt guilty again for leaving in the midst of all of this, but he’d understand? Right?

You nod absentmindedly and tell him to sit down with the others so you could start decking the table and once everyone had a plate, you stood at the edge of your dinner table looking at them nervously.

They all give you puzzled looks, while Mia gave you a reassuring nod.

“So…they’re Brownies.”

Soobin chuckled, raising his eyebrow. “I can see that.”

“No well…they’re…brownies for…Brown University,” you explain nervously.

“Huh?” Beomgyu breaks the silence, his eyes darting from the plate to you.

All eyes were on you by now, expectantly waiting for you to continue.

“Remember that paper from this morning?”

“The one you got a 100 on?” Hueningkai asks.

“Yes, well. Uhm. Mr Davis sort of, might’ve sent it to a representative at Brown…and they want to like…fund my research or whatever,” you say avoiding eye contact as you fidget with the sleeves of your blouse.

“Brown!? Dude. That’s…insane!” Taehyun exclaims enthusiastically.

“God, and here I thought you really were pregnant.” Beomgyu huffs. “But this is amazing!”

“Yes, congratulations sis, you really deserved it!” Hueningkai says with a bright smile.

You look at them with an elated facial expression, happy that they’re happy for you. But then you turn your head and look at Soobin who has literal tears in his eyes.

“…Soobin?” you lean in to see if your eyes were deceiving you but they weren't. His eyes really were teary.

“Hyung are those tears?” Taehyun asks wide-eyed.

He sniffed, wiping his eyes as he got up from the chair to trap you into a tight hug. “I’m just really proud of you,” he mumbles.

As you’re trapped in his bear-hug, your nerves fade. “Finally some good news,” he whispers into your ear. And you close your eyes at the solace of this peaceful moment.

Yes, it really is good news. And only now you realize just how amazing it is that you’ve accomplished this all on your own. You finally get to be happy about it now that you’ve told them.

When he let go, you finally make eye contact with Yeonjun and he had an equally proud smile on his face to match Soobin’s.

“This is amazing, y/n. You earned it.” he says with glistening pupils and your heart raced at his sweet remark.

“So, how long will you be gone for? Like a week? Two weeks?” Beomgyu asks as he chews on the fudgy brownie you made them.

Oh…shit. You didn’t tell them how long you’d be gone for.

You shoot Mia a panicked look but her facial expression only matched yours.

“Uhm…”

All eyes were on you again. They were full of hope, expectation, and pride; and for some reason, you knew you were going to ruin the moment.

“It’s…about a semester-long,” you admit, and all of their facial expressions fall at the same time.

“That’s…six months.” Soobin realizes. It hit him that his best friend; who he’s never been more than a week without, will leave his side for half a year for the first time in his life.

“Damn…that’s a long time…” Taehyun says looking from you to Yeonjun with concern.

You didn’t dare look at him, but you knew that all of them were.

Mia bit her lip as she looked at how sad Soobin had gotten, but her gaze averted to Yeonjun and her look changed from sadness to confusion.

Yeonjun was…smiling.

Your eyes found his as he smiled at you fondly. He’s dying inside, but of course, he wouldn’t tell you that. There’s no way in hell he’d ruin this moment for you.

He had to man up and show his best fake smile because he’d never guilt trip you into not going. The opportunity was too big to let go, and honestly. You being far, very far away from this whole mess kind of eased his mind.

You’d be safe.

Without him around.

“What?” he asks trying to sound genuinely confused as to why everyone was looking at him.

“Aren’t you…upset?” Mia asks carefully, which made Yeonjun look at her briefly before looking at everyone’s equally worried facial expressions, including yours.

You expected every possible reaction, except this one, and it lowkey scared you.

“How could I be upset?” he says with an eye-smile as he breaks off a piece of the brownie, shoving it into his mouth while giving all of you innocent puppy-eyes.

Someone get this man an Oscar.

You didn’t know if you should be happy or sad that he reacted the way he did. You’d rather have him yell at you for leaving him, that’d be a lot less unnerving than the scarily calm and collected man sitting in front of you right now.

“Hyung, she’s leaving for half a year.” Beomgyu tries to make this clearer, thinking that Yeonjun didn’t understand, but he did, fully.

“I know. Look, I will obviously miss y/n. But what good will it do if I let my emotions get the best of me right now? This is supposed to be a joyful moment. She’s worked for this her whole life guys. Let’s be proud and happy for her. It’s almost like you all want me to freak out?”

Every single one of you was absolutely dumbfounded by his comment. It was mature of him, that’s for sure, but you expected at least some emotion other than this capitalist smile he had on his face.

“Let’s give them some time alone,” Soobin says as he got up. “I will talk to you later.” He states as he passes by you, squeezing your hand in reassurance.

Your pupils dart from him to Mia and the rest of the boys in panic. Oh no, please don’t leave.

Yeonjun still sat at your dinner table like a robot while the rest of them quickly thanked you for dinner as they left your place, taking their brownies with them.

They all followed Soobin obediently and after Mia whispered in your ear to call her if anything popped off, she left. And you were all alone with Yeonjun.

You turn around on your heels. Making your way to your dinner table again as your heart thumped in your chest.

You carefully approach him, pulling out a chair to sit beside him and you just silently take his hand.

He refused to make eye contact with you, and suddenly you felt like the biggest dick in the universe.

“Please don’t make me say it,” he says.

“Say what?” you squeeze his hand, waiting for him to respond.

“Please don’t make me tell you that I want you to stay, because I do. But I could never, ever be that selfish.”

“Yeonjun….I’m the selfish one.”

His eyes shot up to look at yours. His pupils were dilated, alarmed, and startled.

“No, you’re not. You’re going. End of story, and when you come back, I’m going to love you just as much, maybe even more than when you left.”

Your eyes start to fill with tears, and he’s quick to notice as he pulled you into his lap, cradling you like a baby.

“Hey, shhh. Don’t cry.” his voice was laced with sadness as he watched you cry. He hated the sight more than anything and tried to wipe your tears with his thumbs.

“Yeonjun, I don’t want to abandon you.” You sniff into his neck as all the tension and nerves of making this life-altering decision get to you.

It’s not like you weren’t coming back, but 6 months is a long time. You weren’t the same person you were 2 months ago, let alone 6.

“You’re not, don’t say that.”

“I don’t want you to hate me,” you mumble as you sniff.

“I could never hate you y/n. Ever.” He assured you of his true feelings as he rubbed your back, trying to soothe your pain as you cried into the crook of his neck.

His cold fingers caressed your cheek, and he closed his eyes for a second. Listening to you cry softly in silence as he contemplated on what to say.

“This is supposed to be a good thing baby…why are you crying.”

Baby. He hasn’t called you that in a while.

"Because I don't want to leave you."

He was trying his hardest to keep it together, but to be honest he was one push away from a mental breakdown.

He needed you, now more than ever. But Yeonjun would never tell you that, cause you’d stay for him, and he knew it.

“Maybe space is what we need,” he says with a heavy heart, and your tears immediately stopped.

You look up at him. What did he just say to you?

He sighed, tracing his fingers over your lips before tugging at your chin to pull you closer. He placed his lips on yours and kissed you softly, passionately, and lovingly before he pulls away to rest his forehead against yours.

“Let’s be real y/n. Being with me has only complicated things. Maybe we can use these 6 months and try to grow separately before we can be great together…”

Mia said the exact same thing, but if he’s saying what you think he’s saying; then you honestly didn’t want to hear it.

Long-distance would be rough, but it’d be better than not having him at all.

You wipe your tears away with your sleeve and sniff once again, trying to collect yourself before you start to speak again.

“You want to end whatever it is that we have?”

“No…and yes…”

“Why…” you sounded absolutely broken as your voice cracked, it made his heart hurt for you so he sighed loudly. Looking you in the eye with desperation.

“Because I can’t love you the way you deserve to be loved y/n. At least not now. I'm...fucked up.”

You look at him with glassy eyes, shocked to hear his confession. You leaving was just the final straw. He has tried to do this before when he planned to stay back home and work for Choi Enterprises, but this was the first time he said it. With actual words.

“Why? What changed. I thought that-”

“Lita confessed.” He interrupts you before you could make any assumptions yourself.

“W-what?”

“She confessed, I have to leave for home next Wednesday to testify against her in court. Everything’s going so fucking fast…”

“Next Wednesday? I also leave next Wednesday...” you mumble softly.

His eyes grew big. “You’re leaving that soon?”

You nod, biting your lip, and notice how Yeonjun had trouble putting his thoughts into words so you encourage him by caressing his cheek, nodding at him to let him know that it was ok to say whatever was on his mind; even if it didn’t make sense.

He rubbed his temple in agony before avoiding your piercing gaze as he spoke. “I thought I had enough to deal with when my dad died, but her confessing that she was capable of doing all the things she’s done felt even worse than my fathers’ death. This time it feels like I lost a real parent y/n. I don’t’ know how to move on from this…”

“And this is exactly why I’m not leaving,” you say getting up in a hurry as you frantically start looking for your phone.

He watched you a little startled at your sudden changed demeanor and got on his feet just as quick.

“Hey, hey, hey.” He grabbed your wrists, making you look at him. “What are you doing?”

“Finding my phone, I’m calling Mr. Davis. I’m canceling the whole thing.”

“No, you’re not.” Yeonjun’s tone was serious.

“You are going. You are going to take this once in a lifetime opportunity, and change history with your research do you hear me? You could help so many people with this. It’s your passion. Your dream. And you’re telling me you’re ready to drop all of that…because of me?”

You didn’t know what else to do other than nod. Yes. You were ready to drop it all for him, but Yeonjun just shook his head in disbelief.

“No, y/n. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For saying what I’m about to say, but you’re not going to ruin your life like this. I won’t drag you down with me. I won’t ever let that happen.”

“So what are you saying?” you looked at him with teary eyes, your pupils darting back and forth before he let go of you.

‘I’m saying that…we need to hit pause on whatever this is.” He couldn’t believe he said this.

He really didn’t. And he felt instant regret as he watched your face crumble.

He wasn’t the only one with abandonment issues, because so were you.

He promised your dad that he’d never break your heart, yet here he was. In your living room, looking at you fall apart, and he was the cause of it all.

“I’m sorry y/n. I love you. I really do. That’s why I’m doing this,” he says as he cups your face in his hands. Tears were also starting to fall from his eyes by now, and you just stood there in his hold. Completely lost and frozen.

“Please don’t hate me,” he whispered as he buried his face in your hair to muffle his soft sobs. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, holding on to you one more time before he couldn’t anymore. He took the chance and kissed you once more. You let his lips ghost over yours before you pull away.

“I could never hate you Yeonjun.”

Before you knew it, Wednesday rolled around.

It felt like only yesterday when you told your friends that you were leaving, and today you actually were.

Soobin helped you with your suitcase as the rest of them trailed behind you with long faces.

They were all there to send you off, except for Yeonjun. He had to leave early to catch his flight back home to testify against Lita in court, and honestly, you were glad he wasn't here right now. Seeing him again after your tearful goodbye was something you weren’t ready for.

The timing of things was just incredibly wrong, and you wished you were able to support him throughout the whole legal process and emotional storm he had to go through back home but you couldn’t, and you both already made peace with it.

You were a single woman again. Leaving to live a different life at a new school.

You both decided it’d be for the better like this since both of you were going to walk different life paths from now on, at least for the next six months. It wasn’t certain if things would go back to normal upon your return in the future and that uncertainty is what hurt you the most.

With a heavy heart, you turn around to face your friends when you arrive at the check-in desk, and without a word, a big group hug is formed.

“We’ll miss you,” Hueningkai mumbles into the hug.

“Even I will.” Taehyun sighs.

You let go of them with a smile, knowing you have to put on a brave face for this to not turn into yet another emotional tear-fest.

“I’ll be back before you know it. And it’s not like I’m dying guys. There’s this thing called the internet. We can still see and talk to each other.” You chuckle as you nudge Beomgyu who was pouting at you and you wrap an arm around Taehyun who was standing next to you.

You avert your gaze from the boys and make eye contact with Soobin who wasn’t the best at concealing his emotions.

He pouted as he sniffed, wiping his eye.

Mia chuckled. “Are you crying AGAIN?”

“No. I have something in my eye.”

“Yes. I can see it.” Beomgyu says as he leans forward to look into Soobin’s eyes dramatically. “It’s a dust particle called little bitch.”

“Shut up.” Soobin huffs as he shoves the younger one away, and all of you burst into laughter.

Thank god for that moment of laughter, it took the edge off and made everything a lot less emo.

You had a long talk with Soobin the night before when he helped you pack your stuff. The hard part was over with, though you could tell he was still struggling to let you go. But he knew that it was all for the greater good.

You sighed as you walked up to him for a tight hug, and as you let go of each other you give Mia a smirk “Look after him for me will ya.”

“You know I will.” She smiles at you as she pulls you in for a hug as well, and suddenly it got really warm again as the boys wrapped themselves into the hug once more.

You giggle, looking at them one last time before you take a hold of your suitcase.

The check-in for your flight had started, and you were called to move in line.

“Bye guys.”

You wave at each other as the distance became bigger and bigger, and when they were completely out of sight you’re able to breathe again.

You bite your lip, trying to suppress the urge to cry and run back to them. Run back to your safety net of the people you loved and cared for the most, but you knew you had to do this.

You were excited to start a new adventure, but you wished you didn’t have to sacrifice so much to be able to do it.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket as you sat at your gate, lost in thought while you waited to board the airplane.

Your eyes widen when you saw his name pop up in your notifications and quickly open your messenger app.

[Yeonjun, 10.43 AM]: Good luck on your new journey and have a safe flight. I wish I could be there to send you off but just know I’m thinking of you. Always.

[Yeonjun, 10.44 AM]: Take care y/n. I love you.

Chapter 14 - The Finale

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memeadonna · 3 years

Text

The Kingdom of Roses

You are the princess of Rusika, a kingdom neighbouring Novoselic. When one of your government’s high ranking officials is taken as a political prisoner, your kingdom retaliates by taking some of your own -- and they just might be more than you bargained for.

Hello Everybody! My name is Jess and I’ve been a longtime fan of Danganronpa, from around 2012 or 2013 when I first played the games. I wanted to try my hand at writing a reader insert for one of my favourite characters (and my first ever husbando), one Kazuichi Souda. This beautiful art really inspired me (I scoured high and low for an artist credit, but I couldn’t find one. If you know who drew it please let me know and I will give them the appropriate credit), and I wrote an x reader. I hope you all enjoy! Warnings: This work contains NSFW not suitable for readers under 18. Please do not interact with this post if you are under 18.

Monarchies were a dying form of government. Most countries had established parliaments by now, but the Kingdom of Rusika, where you were born, and a few neighbouring kingdoms held onto their royal families until the very end. Novoselic was one such kingdom, one that until a few days ago had been your ally. Your father – beloved king of Rusika – had sent one of his most trusted advisors to negotiate a trade deal with the Nevermind family, rulers of Novoselic.

That advisor had been captured and held at ransom for some unknown reason. The Novoselic Kingdom really had no idea what they were doing, did they?

Sonia Nevermind was someone you had grown up with. The two of you had never been friends, per se, but you understood one another. You were Princesses tasked with leading your kingdoms towards prosperity. Your countries were similar enough – they had once been one, but after a civil war in 926, the country had been divided in half. While Novoselic’s exports consisted of luxury goods – wine, chocolate, and cheese – Rusika’s were more practical. Your main exports were related to geothermal energy and associated technologies, or mining precious gems. Your country – the kingdom of roses – was building the future. Hers was stuck in the past, weighed down by stupid traditions.

Your father trusted you more than Sonia’s father trusted her, and so you had grown up with more responsibilities. You had learned early on the burdens of leadership, and eventually began to find her boring. You made sure she never caught on, always giving her your full attention whenever she rambled about her silly life and silly problems.

Both of your countries had hit economic booms, so what need was there to worry? Gah, her philosophy was so stupid.

Today you woke up to find that your father had arranged the kidnapping of two of Sonia’s closest friends. She had just graduated from the prestigious Hope’s Peak Academy, and had apparently invited her entire class to Novoselic to spend their last vacation celebrating.

It was strange of him to make such a decision without consulting you first. You were supposed to be queen of Rusika one day, and he always made sure you had a say in decisions. Today you were instructed to dress the part of a princess and come greet your guests. You were to show them hospitality and make them feel welcome. You might have kidnapped them, but you weren’t monsters. They would literally receive the royal treatment, and you were to be put in charge of them.

As your handmaidens helped you dress (corseting you, doing your hair and makeup, and fixing your jewelry could be a six-person job), you went over what you wanted to say to your prisoners. How the hell were you supposed to make them feel welcome?

You had never seen a person with two different coloured eyes before. You had also never seen a person with pink hair. Based on the way they looked at you, dripping in jewels and looking your part, you doubted they had seen Sonia in all of her glory yet. You smiled as you introduced yourself, trying your hardest not to look like you were studying them. You explained the situation to them, told them they were valuable political prisoners and would not be harmed or imprisoned as long as they behaved, and did not try to leave.

The man with two different coloured eyes called you a fiend, as well as many other dark names as he promised his Princess would come for him. The man with pink hair affirmed “Miss. Sonia will rescue me!” and shook his fist at you, trying his best not to look starstruck.

Eventually, you got their names out of them.

“How long will we be here?” Gundham asked you over dinner that night. “I wish to return home as soon as possible. I have responsibilities.”

Realistically, you knew it wouldn’t be a quick endeavour. You and Sonia had spent three months as prisoners in a neighbouring kingdom as Rusika and Novoselic had laid siege to the capitol. That was when you had learned she was boring. She kept to herself in her room, and almost seemed upset with you whenever you would negotiate with your captors, or walked the palace grounds like a free woman.

“As long as it takes” you answered coolly, glad that Japanese was one of the languages your family had forced you to learn. Members of the royal family having to speak thiry languages was one tradition that Rusika had kept from its time joined with Novoselic. It came in handy when negotiating with foreigners. “I cannot provide a clearer answer than that.”

“Don’t worry, Gundham,” Souda spoke up. “Sonia will come for us!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gundham spent most of his time observing the animals on your palace grounds. Your late mother had loved peacocks, so your father had taken up breeding them. She had loved many different animals when she had been alive, so the grounds weren’t exactly wanting. He enjoyed speaking with the vain birds, whistling and cooing until they would fan their elegant tails. His hamsters seemed to enjoy their accommodations too, with more seeds than they could have ever hoped to have eaten.

Souda, however, wanted to remain as unaffected as possible. He did his best to refuse any luxuries you offered him. It was only after you found out he had taken apart every electronic device in his room did you ask Gundham. The Ultimate Breeder had warmed up to you quickly, especially since you were the reason his hamsters were so well taken care of.

After Gundham cryptically told you about Souda, you gifted the Mechanic with a set of tools and new appliances to play with. Boredom could be so cruel, and the last thing you wanted was undue suffering.

Seeing him slip shyly into your study made your gift worth it. He was so awkward as he stumbled out a thanks, looking everywhere except your face. He was blushing and fiddling with a screwdriver as he spoke. “I still don’t trust you. You’re Miss. Sonia’s enemy,” he pointed his finger at you. “And any enemy of Miss. Sonia is an enemy of mine.”

“Would you like a workshop?” you asked him calmly. “I’m sure your room is a bit cluttered with all of those appliances. I just want to make your stay comfortable, I bear no ill will towards you, Mr. Souda.”

His cheeks flamed up and he stammered out a non-answer, shuffling out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Souda and Gundham had been with you a little over two weeks when the former finally cracked. He once more barged into your study, and looked you up and down. “I want somewhere to work,” he declared. He placed a crumpled piece of paper on your desk. “Here’s the list of everything I need.”

You saved the speech you were writing and logged off of your computer. “Come with me, Mr. Souda,” you stood gracefully, glad you no longer had to wear your ballgowns around him. It had always made you feel overdressed and obnoxious, especially considering he preferred to wear his jumpsuit rather than the clothes your country had provided him with. It had taken a lot to even convince him to let the servants wash the suit, let alone wear another while he waited.

In the end, you had commissioned seven identical jumpsuits for him, to match the one he already wore. At least he no longer reeked.

You paused at the door to the workshop you had set up for him. There was a guard stationed outside, but a nod from you dismissed him. Kazuichi’s eyes lit up as he observed all of the new-age tech he had to play with. He stammered out a bright-eyed thanks, and you gave him your brightest smile. You had done lots of research into what he would enjoy; he was your guest, not your prisoner. Right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a month, Novoselic struck up a deal with Rusika. A hostage for hostage trade: Gundham Tanaka for your father’s cherished advisor. Kazuichi had not been mentioned in the negotiations at all, something that did not sit right with you.

He tried to pretend that he wasn’t upset he had been forgotten, but it was obvious to anybody with half of a brain he was torn up. You made efforts to spend more time with him. You had him accompany you on walks around the castle’s garden, and even took him out of the palace for a few walks around town for a change of scenery. Nothing you said lifted his spirits. He barely even looked at you now.

You watched him tinkering with his toys, but even that seemed to have lost its shine for him. He looked so sad, so bored that it made you anxious.

“May I ask you something?” you questioned on one such walk. The two of you had been caught in the rain and had sought shelter underneath a quaint gazebo. He looked back at you with a curt nod. “How is your hair pink?”

He blinked at you for a moment before he burst out laughing. It was the first time since he had come to Rusika that he had laughed, and it made your cheeks flame up as he smiled at you.

“I dye it,” he told you after he calmed down. “I first bleach my hair to take the colour out, and then I use a dye to turn it pink.”

“Colour?” You blinked up at him. “What colour is your hair supposed to be?”

Instead of answering, he removed his beanie to reveal about an inch of jet-black hair growing in at his roots. Your eyes widened in wonder. “So, it must be bleached again on the new hair?” you asked.

“Yes,” he smiled at you dopily. “It has to be done every few months or the hair will grow in its natural colour.”

“Does it feel different?” you asked. “The pink and the black?” Instead of replying, he took your hand and placed it onto his hair. Your blush only deepened as you felt how soft it was, and noticed his cheeks were bright red too as you pulled away. “Do you wish to turn your hair pink again? I will send for my stylist.”

He smiled at you, soft but genuine. “I’d really like that. Then I’ll feel a bit more like me,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you doing?” Souda peeked over your shoulder. You smiled tiredly up at him and you stretched as subtly as you could. You had been taking daily walks with him for several weeks now, and he would always drop by every few hours to see how you were doing, or to show off his latest invention.

“I’m looking at the schematics for a new geothermal energy plant,” you answered. “I’m trying to sort out how we can make our energy extraction more efficient.”

Kazuichi looked over the blueprints on your laptop screen. “I’d have to do the calculations, but if you merged these two pipes here-” he pointed. “-you would cut down significantly on the energy wasted.”

“Pull up a chair,” you told him. “Let’s take a look together, shall we?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kazuichi had been in your care for three months now, and he hardly acted like a prisoner. He called you “Miss” (probably because you called him Mr. Souda), and tended to barge in on you whenever he wanted. He had repaired the castle’s heating system, boosted your internet connection, and even helped you overhaul the design of your new energy plants. These plants would be 46% more efficient than the last schematic, something that amazed you. You told him repeatedly how marvellous he was, if only to see his face light up.

Lately, he had started wearing the jumpsuits your family had initially provided him with – similar to his old one but stamped with your country’s crest on the back – and had been a bit more… touchy than before. He would put a hand on the small of your back while you walked, or gently brush a lock of hair from your face as the two of you had tea.

You were not experienced in the slightest with intimacy or wanting to be in a relationship – you were certain you would learn that after you became queen – but now he was all you could think about. You knew the basics, knew what to expect from a man, but your heart was uncharted territory. You had never loved someone before, and some deep-seated fear in your heart was worried he would think you were taking advantage of him.

“I was in love with her, you know,” he told you one day while you were out for a walk. The two of you were once more caught in the rain and taking shelter in the same gazebo. “I loved Sonia.” Sonia. Not Miss. Sonia.

“Did it hurt?” you asked back, and immediately felt stupid for asking. It was none of your business, why did you want to know?

“I guess?” he shrugged. “I don’t – she never treated me like I mattered. She made me feel like I was nothing. Just a pest. Like I was disposable.”

“Sonia is a fool,” you told him. You meant it, of course you did, but at that moment you just wanted him to smile. “Your contributions will certainly leave their marks on this world. You are a remarkable person with a remarkable talent. Anybody who would overlook you is an utter fool.”

Kazuichi reached into his pocket and pulled out a small speaker. He set it on the railing, and it began to play a soft, slow song. “Will you dance with me?” he asked shyly.

“Of course,” you smiled at him, holding out your hand for him to take.

His steps were sloppy and uncoordinated, but the feeling of his warm body in your arms made you feel safe. You wanted him to love you. Love you the way he loved Sonia, and then even more. A legendary love that would eclipse all others.

When he leaned down to kiss you, you automatically tilted you head to the side. It felt like the first time and the thousandth time all at once – something new and exciting, yet undeniably right. He grinned at you like an idiot and kept swaying with you while the song ended.

“It all feels perfect with I’m with you,” he told you. “Like it all makes sense.”

“I understand,” you smiled up at him. “I feel the same way too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He barely left your side now. He would let you work, of course, but wanted to spend his every waking hour with you. He held your hand on your walks, kissed your knuckles like a gentleman whenever he greeted you, and kissed you passionately when you were alone with him. You loved watching him light up at your presence – it was like his world began and ended with you.

His greatest joy was when he got to work with you. To see you listening carefully to his advice, offering insights of your own based on your knowledge. You worked to improve both your geothermal energy plants and plan for new mines. The number of precious stones mined this year was astronomical, and it wasn’t over yet.

Your father was impressed with the improvements he had made to the schematics he had been provided with, so he was gradually given more and more responsibility (along with his freedom, of course). Eventually, he began to receive an “allowance” as payment for the work he was doing. He spent most of it on new gadgets to tinker with or gifts for you. You would often retire to your room to find a vase full of flowers or a box of chocolates, and every time you saw them you would break out into a grin you could not stop.

The two of you would text one another (he made himself a cellphone because he was “bored and wanted to try it”) until you fell asleep, and within those words he bared his soul. He told you about his horrific home life – about the man who had dared to harm him – and about the friends who had betrayed him. He told you how much you mattered to him, all of the things he would do for you. Give up for you.

When he told you about his father hitting him one too many times, you left your room and went to his. You just needed to hold him, make him feel safe the same way he made you feel safe.

You were glad you went when you did, because there was a woman dressed in black trying to drag him out of the window. You raised the security alarm, and she was apprehended. Mukuro Ikusaba – the Ultimate Soldier – was thrown into your actual prison, and you once more had trouble with Novoselic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You answered the door with bleary eyes, but seeing Souda’s tired smile as he mumbled about not sleeping was worth it. You used your new nickname for him – the word in your mother tongue that meant little pink rose – and he melted into your arms. You didn’t care that you were wearing your nightgown, or that it was early in the morning, you had your prince charming and he was safe, and he was yours. Yours.

“I had a nightmare,” he was curled up among your pillows, snuggled up under your blankets. “You forgot about me like she did.”

“I’m not her,” you reminded him, pressing a kiss to his forehead before resting your own against it. You could feel his warm breath ghosting over your lips, and as you let your eyes slip shut your hands found his. “I will never think of you as less than extraordinary, my darling.” You promised.

He kissed your cheek, slowly painting his way over your cheekbones and down to your lips. You responded wonderfully, one hand cupping his cheek as you kissed him slowly. You opened your eyes to see him staring at you with pure adoration. He wasn’t wearing his contacts, and his eyes were a light, rosy brown colour. Stunning.

“I love you,” the words slipped out of your mouth unbidden. You were speaking in your mother tongue now, but based on the smile he gave you and the whisper of “Ai shiteru” you got in return, he had understood. More than understood.

Your lips met his again, a strange kind of hunger filling you. He must have felt the change too, the atmosphere crackling with energy as you traced your fingers over his body. As he traced his fingers over yours.

You both stripped completely and held one another, clumsy and laughing and so in love. “Tell me if it hurts,” he had whispered to you as he stretched you open with his fingers. You had kissed him in response, a smiling sort of kiss that you hope conveyed more than a simple “I love you”.

Your lovemaking didn’t last long, but it didn’t have to to be perfect. It felt like it was right out of a fairy tale, and your prince charming was here to save you from everything bad in the world. You were here to save him, in reality, but you were more than happy to indulge him in his fantasies, so long as you could play a part in them.

When you were done, he wrapped you in his arms and placed a kiss to your temple. He hummed softly and played with your hair, whispering his love over and over again. You smiled up at him, tired but satisfied, and when you fell asleep your smile did not falter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since that night you had shared, Kazuichi had been coming to your bed every night. You would fall asleep together and wake up together and talk until you couldn’t anymore. When you weren’t talking, you were either cuddling or doing something less… innocent. Your mouth had mapped out every inch of his body, and you knew what to do to make him open like a flower. He liked letting you do what you wanted to him – liked giving over the power and control and letting you make him feel good.

He loved it when you spoke to him in your mother tongue – no matter what you said he would squirm and turn bright red.

“Do you like it when I play with your pretty cock?” you asked him lowly, and he let out a sweet moan as his legs fell open. He could tell from the sound of your voice if you were being sweet to him or not, and you could tell based on the noises he made if he wanted you to be sweet or not.

You wondered what fantasies swept him away as you mounted him. When you pinned his wrists and mouthed at his neck, you wondered why he was mewling so much. Did he even know what he was begging you for anymore, or did his mind just go blank every time you began to kiss his scars?

You learned every embarrassing detail about his body, and he learned every detail of yours. He loved to have you on him – worshipping him, taking pleasure from his body – but what he loved most were the quiet moments after.

The moments when you would roll off of him and kiss him slowly and tell him how good he was. When you would worship every scar again, tell him he was beautiful. When he’d lay his head in your lap so you could weave your fingers into his hair and hum him lullabies. He always fell asleep in your bed after you made love. It was one of the most perfect moments you ever shared, and you felt so, so lucky to have shared so many of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today you woke up alone. Novoselic had finally sent an envoy to negotiate Kazuichi’s release. Today was the day.

Last night, he had helped you pick out your gown. He had chosen a white one with ruffles designed to look like flowers – Rusika was the kingdom of roses, after all – and as your handmaidens helped you get ready, you felt powerful.

You went all out – you wore your crown jewels and covered yourself in diamonds. You did not want there to be any doubt that they were dealing with a princess and would negotiate on her terms. Your father had been surprised when you had asked for this responsibility but granted you the negotiation opportunity.

Mukuro Ikusaba was wearing several chains, including a rather nasty-looking pair of handcuffs. She was positioned in a chair facing towards your throne, and she glared at you as you took your seat.

Kazuichi arrived only a few minutes after you, and his jaw just about hit the floor as he took you in. You gave him a smile befitting a queen as your eyes roamed his body – he was wearing a finely tailored suit and a ring with your family’s crest on it. You realized then you wanted to cover him in jewels. He would look so good sparkling.

He bowed deeply before taking his place at your side, breaking you from your train of thought. It was an old Novoselic tradition for the ruler’s consort to kneel on a special stool while the monarch conducted business, but while Kazuichi did kneel on the plush cushion, he tugged it towards you so he could lie across your lap. The action startled you at first, but as he snuggled deeper into your skirts and looked up at you with a smile, your fingers came up to weave into his hair in the way he found comforting, and he closed his eyes.

That lasted for a blissful minute before the throne room’s doors burst open and Princess Sonia Nevermind was announced. Her entourage filed in with her, and Souda tilted his head to get a better view of them. You recognized Gundham, and vaguely recalled hearing about a few of the others from Kazuichi. Classmates, if you remembered correctly.

Sonia had brought the Yakuza boy and the Ultimate Swordswoman as backup. She had also brought a hulking man with matching scars over both of his eyes. This man was someone you had never heard of, yet he was flanked by the usual Novoselic military honour guard. You greeted her in your shared tongue before switching to Japanese. “Welcome. What brings you all to Rusika?” you asked.

The princess of Novoselic cleared her throat and began once more in your mother tongue. “Apologies for interrupting, Princess Nevermind, but not everybody here speaks our language. I would like to include our guests in the matters we will be discussing,” Souda shifted in your lap, and you continued playing with his hair, sitting with the elegance of a queen.

Sonia began again, in Japanese this time. “I demand you release your prisoners at once,” she pointed at you. “Keeping a soldier hired by my country to retrieve a prisoner does not reflect well on the alliance between our peoples. I would hate for a war to break out.”

You sighed. “As a show of good faith, I will release the prisoner Mukuro Ikusaba to you,” you made a gesture and a pair of guards removed her shackles. You could feel Souda playing with your ruffles. “Was that all?”

“We are here for the prisoner Kazuichi Souda,” she answered. “I demand you release him.”

“Kazuichi is not a prisoner,” you corrected. “He has full autonomy and can choose to leave anytime he would like.”

“You kidnapped him as a political prisoner!” Sonia snapped, eyes locked on him. “Do not tell me that he is doing… that of his own free will!”

You gave his shoulder a pat with the hand that had been in his hair and he blinked over at Sonia. “I have done nothing malicious towards him,” you answered. “I have not-”

“Liar!” Sonia cut in. “You must have brainwashed him with Stockholm. You truly are a woman with flexible legs!”

Kazuichi raised his head a bit. “Don’t talk to my Princess like that!” there was a certain bite to his words. You ran your fingers soothingly through his hair as he glared at Sonia. “Gundham knows as well as I do that we were never mistreated here. We were given free reign, and I just so happened to be appreciated. I’m not a second choice here. I’m not forgotten.”

Sonia looked visibly upset at his words. “We did not forget you!” she assured him.

“You rescued Gundham after a month? A few weeks?” Kazuichi was bristling. “I’ve been here for eight. Eight months and you didn’t even bother to see if I was okay.” Sonia watched Kazuichi lie back down. “Excuse me for being happy. I forgot you don’t like it when I’m too overbearing with my affection.” He shifted around for comfort, burying his face in the crook of his elbow before tilting it out to the crowd.

“Is he truly able to leave anytime he wants?” Gundham asked.

“I am,” Kazuichi bristled once again. “I’ve got a job and everything.”

Sonia said your name. No title, just your name. “I would like to speak with you in private, future monarch to future monarch,” she was clenching her hands into fists.

“I’ll allow it,” you gave Kazuichi a gentle pat on the shoulder and he reluctantly pulled away. You stood, and he stood with you. He followed you down from your throne, and as you escorted Sonia towards your study you noticed Kazuichi was making a beeline for Gundham.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you were alone again, the first thing Kazuichi did was help you out of your dress. He was careful as he unlaced your corset, and as he helped you step out of it. He even hung it up properly so it wouldn’t get damaged. Then he was kissing you like he was about to lose you, pulling your body close and pulling you into his arms. He carried you over to the bed and tossed you into it, discarding his own clothes haphazardly as he followed.

“I love you,” he told you assuredly. “And nothing is ever going to change that. Not a single thing they say will convince me otherwise.”

You smiled at his words. “And I love you too, my little pink rose,” you gave him a deep, longing kiss.

It didn’t matter what the others thought or said. It didn’t matter what they did. All that mattered was what you and Souda thought. Souda was here with you. Souda loved you.

And no matter who decided to challenge that, they couldn’t take him away from you.

#danganronpa #super danganronpa 2 #kazuichi souda #kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda x reader #kazuichi soda x reader #kazuichi x reader #sonia nevermind #gundham tanaka #reader insert #princess reader #memeadonna

92 notes · View notes

w00wzerz · 3 years

Text

WARNINGS : NONE

Tags: Fluff, Angst, Icons, Imagines, Headcanons, One-shot

_____________________________________________________________________

Sarah ran her soft fingertips over his metallic arm, simply contemplating all the majestical things he could do with it in the bedroom. Blushing at her own thoughts she quickly shook it off and pulled away. “Are you ready to help?”

It was the largest gathering that the small town in New Orleans had ever seen! Sam had invited his distant cousins from most of the neighboring cities. The Wilson family cook out was a popular event and was even crowned the most famous tourist spot of the summer! Only contested by the Louisiana folks during the majorly eventful Bayou festival in mid May.

The small dock erupted in cheers and laughter as Hey Ya! by OutKast blasted loudly, consuming the crowd and forcing everyone to the center of the dock.

“What you young-ins know about this jam!” Sam slid from the back of the boat, four cases of Corona beers in both hands, with a contented grin plastered onto his face. Aj and Cass not too far behind.

“Where’s your mother anyway? Y’all been stuck with me all day.” Sam arched a confused brow at the two boys who shrugged their tiny shoulders in unison. “Last - I saw her with Uncle Bucky, packing the food.” Aj said before grabbing his brother’s hand and leading him to the center of the dance circle.

“Uncle Bucky?” Both of Sam’s brows shot up his forehead. “When did he get here?” He whispered to himself, when he placed the cases by the cooler on the table - and began his quest for his sister and his best friend.

———————————————————————-

“This is my famous king crab Bucky.” Sarah shot a pearly white smile as she lathered the crab in spicy garlic butter sauce. She then gently stacked them onto one another in an oversized foil plate.

It was the time of the year where all of the eligible bachelorettes would slither their way to the dock in search of their “future husbands.” Sarah had already taken her loses and retired from the game - ever since the death of her husband. However, today seemed special, it was the first time in years that her stomach knotted in curls from butterflies so much so, that she thought she’d puke. Her youth sprung about anytime Bucky was around, similarly to a school girl with her very first crush. He just brought out the best in her, so she decided why not look the part.

Sam had mentioned to her that her skin glistened whenever she wore the color yellow. Despite how out of character it was for him to be so blunt about literally - anything, Sarah decided to take his advice and throw on her favorite off shoulder cut, form fitting sun dress. Her long senegalese twists were tied into a high bun and wrapped in a yellow ribbon that flowed behind her in pure elegance.

Turning the corner of her bedroom - on her way to the kitchen, she was greeted by a well dressed Bucky in a tight blue knit sweater that hugged his body in all the right places! And dark black jeans that displayed his full basketball trunk. He stood over a boiling pot of king crabs on the stove. Clearing her throat quite loudly, she caught his attention almost immediately. As he turned to face her his eyes widened in astonishment, almost as if he had sinfully taken a peak at the worlds most beautiful piece of treasure.

“Wow,” was all Bucky could muster when gravity became the main puppeteer, forcefully drawing them towards one another. He smiled sheepishly and continued “you look lovely Sarah.” Returning his grin she replied “and you don’t look so bad yourself, Uncle Bucky.”

Pulling him into a tight embrace Bucky’s chin rested in the corner of Sarah’s neck. He took in the scent of her sweet Vanilla Bean cologne. If he could have his way, he would have swallowed her whole that very instant. He wished for nothing more than to have her succumbed to his own desires, clawing his name on his back as she screams in pure ecstasy. Bucky swayed rhythmically with her movements, it took all of his energy not to instinctively plant a soft kiss between her neck and trail.

————————————————————————

“When I’m done with this batch, can you wrap it in aluminum foil and carry it to the front table for our guests?” Sarah faced the stove top, her back turned to a confused Bucky, who watched her work in utter amazement.

Bucky was familiar with crab as a cuisine, and had tasted a fair share of it during his time in Wakanda. However, he had never seen it prepared before him.

“So does it like ... cry or anything when you place it in the boiling water ... alive?” He asked innocently, when Sarah sighed in disbelief and sat the lathering brush onto the table. Her heart fluttered at his innocence, but her mind pondered in continuous confusion. She wondered just how much Bucky had missed out on in the last 70 years or just seemingly had minimal to no experience on. Turning to face him a smile crept its way up her plump lips as she answered nonchalantly “I don’t have an answer for you Bucky.”

His blue eyes glistened in curiosity as they scanned over Sarah’s features, she was unlike any woman that he had ever seen. From her bright dark brown eyes to the cute little indentation by her nose, Bucky found himself lost in their tight gaze. Until he eventually landed on Sarah’s plush pink lips. Sarah noticed Bucky’s observance and smiled shyly. Her cheeks flushed when she subconsciously ran her tongue over her lips. Of course she wanted to grapple Bucky right then and there, she had wanted to do so since she first laid eyes on the man. But one of her biggest fears was getting involved with a hero. She already had her plate full with Sam, was she really ready to add another burden to the list?

————————————————————————

“There you guys are!” Sam grinned and pulled Sarah into a tight embrace “I was beginning to worry.”

“Aw Sam, you missed me, how sweet.” Bucky winked as Sam glared his way. Placing the trays of king crabs with roasted corn and potatoes, buttermilk biscuits and cajun shrimp onto the table, Sarah called for the event goers to each grab a plate and head for the grub.

Sam handed both Bucky and Sarah a pair of gloves before taking a seat at the edge of the table. He pinched Aj and Cass’s noses when they playfully snatched his plate from before him. “Y’all better stop playing before I tell your mama to send you to bed early.” He smiled when they took a seat next to him.

He watched bewildered by his sisters boldness when she took a seat by Bucky. Running her finger tips over his armored arm, he noticed that she began to play her fingers through her twists. Her grin from ear to ear as she engaged in conversation with Bucky, the same thing she used to do when she had a crush on a boy in high school.

“So where’s the crab opener?” Bucky asked, facing Sam who’s face scrunched in utter disgust. Sarah bursted into a fit of laughter when Aj and Cass joined as well.

“We don’t use that utensil around these parts, buddy.” Bucky’s brow arched in confusion when Sam picked up a crab leg and ripped it in half with one tug. “You see here?” He placed the piece into his mouth and used his teeth to crack the shell methodically, in an instant the entire meat was stripped from the leg. “Now that’s how you eat a crab leg! Let me see you do it.”

All eyes were now glued onto Bucky as he studied the crab leg. His blue eyes narrowed when he used his metal arm to pick up the leg and snapped it in half effortlessly. Sarah’s eyes widened as she watched Bucky smile contently to himself. He placed the crab to his lips, intricately running his tongue over every square inch of it. He shot Sarah a mischievous smirk, before pulling it out with a loud plop! “Tasty.”

Sarah flushed immediately, inching her way out of her seat. While Sam glared intently, picking up a piece of shrimp and sulking in his defeat.

48 notes · View notes

staywritten · 4 years

Text

Misunderstanding│Lee Felix

Synopsis: Sometimes a simple conversations could save a lot of heartache Genre: Fluffy, Angsty, smutty, fluffy, romantic in that order lol. Oneshot Word Count: 3877 Masterlist. AO3

“Baby~” Felix whined as he attempted to get out of bed for the umpteenth time. Your face buried in his chest, as your legs had him in a vice grip around his middle. He always loved when you koala hugged him, but this particular morning it was making it rather difficult to get up for work. He chuckled seeing you pout. “I wish I could stay in bed with you, but I have to go to work”

Leaning your chin on his chest you looked up at him, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. “Stay with me instead” you whined, placing little kisses on the light dusting of freckles on his skin. “Please”

“I can’t flake on Chan-Hyung this time, he will kill me” he laughed showering you with kisses “I’ll make it up to you tonight” he gripped your chin, tilting your head to look up at him. He pulled you into a deep kiss, his lips molding against yours. “Mmm…” he pulled back just slightly to really get a good look at you. It took a lot out of him to get out of bed. He loved seeing you first thing in the morning. Hearing your sleepy voice beg for him, seeing your body covered with one of his t-shirts. The way the sun shined on you through the blinds, and how mused your hair was. It was his favorite sight. He caressed your cheek lovingly as he took you in. Almost like he was trying to memorize every inch of you. “I have to go now”

“Fine” you sighed, kissing him one last time before unhooking your legs from around him.

He watched as you reluctantly detached from him before turning on your side, hugging his pillow. His heart-melting at just how cute you looked. He pulled you back into his chest, laughing softly. “I mean- I can be a few minutes late” he showered you with kisses, not wanting to part from you just yet.

Your airy laugh warmed his heart as he pinned you beneath him. His soft hair falling over his eyes. “I thought you couldn’t be late today” you teased, running your hand into his hair.

“Just a few minutes…” he playfully tugged your shirt upward, lowering himself between your legs. “I don’t have much time… but I can do a little bit…”

“Mmmm glad you could pencil me in…” you watched with heated eyes as he hooked your legs around his shoulder before burying his face against your panties. His teeth grazing the outside of the cotton, just moments before he heard a knock at his door. He shot up, brows furrowing before looking at you. “You expecting someone?” you asked, moving back and covering yourself with his blanket.

“No? Maybe it’s a delivery?”

“Maybe it’s Chan sensing that you’re about to flake on work” you giggled watching Felix crawl out of bed, padding out of his room. You watched anxiously from the crack in his door. Felix wasn’t really one for guests, sure he lived alone but all of his friends had a key to his apartment, and wouldn’t know how to knock to save their lives. Your ears perked up hearing a woman’s voice before seeing Felix envelope an adorable woman in his arms.

“Mum?” he grinned hugging her tightly. “What are you doing here?!” he pulled her back at arms length just to get a good look at her.

She beamed. “Your sister was looking at some schools in Seoul, so I wanted to surprise you! Are you surprised?” she gently smoothed down his hair, giving him a little pat.

“I’m so surprised!” he chuckled, hugging her tightly. “I missed you Mum!”

Meanwhile in his bedroom you scrambled for your clothes. Meeting your boyfriends mom, was not on your to do list today and this sure as hell wasn’t the first impression you wanted to make. Immediately you changed out of Felix’s T-shirt and into your bra and blouse, frantically buttoning it and hunting down your jeans that had been haphazardly tossed aside the night before.

You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, your hair was frizzy and messy and there were little bruises on your collar bone thanks to Felix getting handsy after your date. After a few minutes of sprucing yourself up you managed to look halfway presentable. Just a touch of make up, and your hair tamed for now.

You were just about to walk out and introduce yourself when Felix walked back into his bedroom and stopped you. “Alright I bought us some time-Oh good you’re dressed” He grabbed a shirt from his closet, slipping it over his head. “Ok, I’m gonna take my mom to the office and I’ll do breakfast with her there with Channie-Hyung and you can sneak out after we leave.”

“What?” you watched him in disbelief as he changed into his jeans and brushed his hair back.

“You won’t have to wait long, but I would say like ten minutes just to make sure we’re out of the building when you come down.”

Crossing your arms over your chest you sighed. Was your boyfriend of five months really not going to introduce you to his mom? “Are you serious?”

“What?” he looked over, surprised at just how angry you looked. “You don’t wanna wait? I mean you could just go through the fire escape but I thought that was kind of dangerous-”

“Felix?!” his eyes widened when you called his name, he covered your mouth, shushing you. “What are you doing?” you moved his hand from your mouth, shooting him a glare. “You’re seriously not going to introduce me to your mom?”

“I’m her only son I don’t want to worry her. What am I supposed to say? Hey Mum thanks for traveling ten hours just to surprise me but I want you to meet my friend that I sleep with pretty often”

“Did you just…” you took a step back from him, holding your arms up. Your eyes instantly glazing over. “Did you just seriously…” you felt a sob, bubbling up. But you were going to fight to make sure you didn’t cry in front of him. “I’m just your friend that you sleep with? How many other friends are you just sleeping with?”

“-I…” he faltered seeing just how angry you looked. He’d never seen you like this, not ever. Your eyes were red, your hands physically shaking. He called your name softly. He wasn’t sure what he could say that would make this better but he knew he had to say something.

“I’m an idiot for thinking these five months meant anything to you…” A stray tear fell down your cheek as he shook your head. “I guess it was my fault for assuming I was your girlfriend” you wiped your tear away before grabbing your purse.

“Wait...Please… let’s talk about this…I-”

“You know what Felix, I’m pretty sure I don’t ever want to talk to you again.” you ran out of his room, mumbling an apology as you passed his mother who was startled by your appearance. You slipped your shoes on in a hurry before making a bee-line for the elevator.

His mom looked back at him before staring back at the door. “Who was that?”

“My girlfriend…” his voice was so soft as he watched, you leave.

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend” she looked at her son seriously.

“Me neither” he whispered to himself.

You stormed into your apartment, closing the door behind you and throwing your bag on the ground. Your roommate laid on the couch, petting one of his cats. “Hey, long night?” Minho looked over at you, watching you flop on the couch beside him, taking Sooni into your arms.

“Oh you know same old same old.” you huffed. “I finally find myself in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in and I’m literally falling in love and come to find out Felix only thinks of me as a friend he sleeps with” you rolled your eyes “Meanwhile my dumbass thought I’ve been dating him for the past five months so, ya know just my luck with relationships.”

“Woah, how’d that happen?”

“I was at his place and then his mom dropped by to surprise him and I thought this was a good time to meet my boyfriends mom and he thought it was a good time to suggest I sneak out using the fire escape.”

Minho cringed and gave you a little pat on the back. “Ouch, ok that’s a pretty big fuck up.”

“A fuck up is an understatement” You slumpped on the couch letting his cat, cuddle against your stomach. “You wanna set me up on a date?”

“You sure you don’t wanna talk it out with him first?”

“I have no desire to talk anything out with just a friend I occasionally sleep with.” you snapped.

“Alright, alright I’ll set you up on a date” he held his hands up in defeat.

Across town Felix sat with his mom in the cafe. He awkwardly drank his coffee, occasionally glancing up at her. Almost anticipating being scolded, but her silence was almost suffocating. “Mum?”

She sighed and set down her tea. “Yongbok you’re an adult, you’re not in trouble for anything so relax” She laughed seeing her son visibly relax. “Now tell me about your girlfriend, why was she upset and why didn’t you go after her?”

“This s kind of awkward to talk to you about?”

“Why? I was your age once?”

“I know but it’s just...I…”

“Spare me the gorey details, how long have you been seeing her?”

“About five months...I guess there was just a misunderstanding...and I thought we weren’t officially together, like dating something casual but not in a relationship...I didn’t know that she considered me her boyfriend…”

“Ok that’s understandable. So I’m guessing she was disappointed when you didn’t tell her you thought of her as a girlfriend?”

“Not disappointed….She looked… heartbroken…” he looked down. “I’ve never seen her look so sad before...She’s not the type to runaway...Normally she talks everything out but she just left. And I let her… I didn’t know what I could say.”

“Well are you dating anyone else?”

“No… just her… It’s always just been her… She just makes me feel so happy...” He met you through Minho because he begged him to introduce you. He saw you by chance when you’d dropped by the dance studio, occasionally bringing Minho food or his extra clothes. At first he thought you two were dating but after Minho assured him you guys were just roommates he made his move.

One date turned into another, and the next thing he knew he was in a routine with you. A routine where he was used to hearing your voice before he fell asleep. Feeling the weight of your head on his chest, hearing your giggle when he had to pry your arms off him so he could run to the restroom.

He’s spent almost every single day with you over the last few months and suddenly the prospect of you not being there not only made him anxious, it broke his heart.

More than anything he didn’t want to scare you away. He never wanted to be too clingy, or too needy. You were chic and independent, a little older than him, and more experienced. How was he supposed to measure up.

What if he asked for something more exclusive and you denied him, and suddenly he didn’t get to have you anymore. He’d rather be blissfully ignorant than knowingly heartbroken.

His mom took another sip of her tea. “Yongbok, do you want her to be your girlfriend?

“Yeah… I do…” he smiled to himself. It was the first time he really gave it a thought. “I want her to be my girlfriend.”

“Then what’s the problem? You want it, it’s obvious she wants it. This is the best problem to have”

“She said she didn’t want to see me again”

“I don’t think it hurts anything to ask, you’ll never know if you don’t ask” she looked at her phone. “I have to go pick up your sister from her campus tour. We’ll be in town for the weekend, so let’s do dinner tonight” she stood up and walked over to his cheek. “If you can make it to dinner, I hope you can bring your girlfriend”

There wasn’t much that you could do about the morning, but you were attempting to salvage what was left of your day and your dignity. You treated yourself to your skin routine, a deep conditioning hair mask, and a nice long soak in the bath.

Hearing a knock on your bedroom door, you wrapped your towel around your body before opening the door. “Minho? I thought you went to work already-” you sighed seeing Felix standing there with a bouquet of flowers.

“How’d you get in here?” you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Minho-Hyung let me in on his way out.” He sighed setting the flowers on your dresser, seeing that you refused to take it from him.

“Traitor” you rolled your eyes. “Well help yourself out, I’m getting ready for a date”

“A date!?” his brows furrowed “So that’s it? You’re done with me?”

“I’m done with-” you scoffed in disbelief. “You have the nerve to sound disappointed in me? You’re the one that said we weren’t anything.”

“So this is just some new guy? You weren't seeing him the whole time?”

“Believe it or not Felix, I thought we were in a relationship. So no, I wasn’t seeing this guy. I haven’t even met him yet. It’s a first date. So if you’ll excuse me I have to get ready-” You stopped yourself taking a deep breath and rubbing your temples. “Felix, I spent every waking moment I could with you over the last few months. I have more clothes in your apartment than I have in my own. You met my parents, my cats love you. I even brought you as my date to my best friends wedding… Every moment with you was very real to me.” your shoulders slumped. “But I made the mistake of assuming we were in a committed relationship without talking it out. I got my heartbroken because of it and that’s not your fault.”

He opened his mouth to say something but you held up your finger. “Hold on Felix...Just let me finish because if I don't say it now I’m gonna lose my nerve.” He nodded, letting you continue. “I… wanna respect your boundaries. I can’t make you be my boyfriend and if you want something casual and something that’s just physical than that’s fine. I have to respect that.” your eyes watered feeling that you were on the cusp of a break up of a relationship that technically didn’t even exist. “But I’m not looking for something purely physical. I want a committed relationship.”

“Then let me try…” he whispered, looking at with those beautiful warm brown eyes. “Please don’t go”

“Give me one good reason not to”

“Because I wanna date you. I want you to be my girlfriend” he took a step closer to you. “I told my mom about you…” he took your hands in his as he gazed into your eyes. “And I just want to be with you.” he walked you deeper into your room, until your knees hit the foot of your bed, making you sit.

“If you mean that...Then why did you say that earlier?”

“I was scared… I… you are so out of my league… And I know I was falling hard but you were the first person I dated like that...I just didn’t wanna fuck it all up and talk about relationships if you were trying to keep it casual. I didn't want you to think I was some needy kid.”

“Felix… What's wrong with being needy? What’s wrong with knowing what you want and holding on to it?”

“I don’t want to date anyone else… I just want you…” he inched closer, taking you in. Trying to read your expression for any form of hesitation or doubt. “Please don’t give up on me...Not before I have a chance to fight for you”

A soft smile graced your features as you gazed up at him. “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want you to cave into something you don’t want just because you’re scared.”

“I want nothing more than to call you my girlfriend and properly show you off” He cupped your face making you look at him. His face inching closer to yours but stopping short. His lips close enough to graze yours as his nose brushed against your skin. Your breath became more shallow as he searched your eyes. “May I?”

“Are you asking my permission to make me your girlfriend or to kiss me?”

He chuckled, his eyes crinkling in the corners while he laughed. “Yes.”

“Then yes, you may” you grinned letting him pull you into a deep kiss, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as you pulled him into your bed, making him fall.

Catching himself he giggled “You’re chaotic.”

“I missed you”

“It’s only been a few hours.”

“And you didn’t miss me?” you smiled into the kiss

“Of course I did”

“Then show me…” you bit your lips, playing with the hair on his nape.

“I thought you had a date.” his tone, a little pouty.

“I’ll text him later.” you sighed blissfully as he kisses your neck.

“Why wait until later, let him know now.” he bit the base of your neck. “Let him know you won’t be needing him now or ever. Better yet call him now.” he licked the skin that he’d been nibbling on.

“Felix” you scolded, watching him pout “There’s no need to pout, I never even met the poor guy”

“And yet I still kinda want you to call him, and have him hear me fuck you while you tell him why you can’t go” his eyes darkened, the corners of his lips tugging into a smirk.

Your face warmed as you stared at him, too flustered to reply. After a moment you swallowed hard and shook your head. “Felix!”

His cocky little smirk turned into that cute little smile you loved so much “I’m just kidding” He laughed pulling off his own shirt. “But after I make love to you do you think you could manage doing dinner with my mom and sisters? They wanna meet you”

“I- of course I want to do dinner with them but” you covered your face and groaned in embarrassment. “You can't say something like that and bring up dinner like it’s casual”

He smirked, quirking his brows. “I like what you look like flustered” he pinned your arms to the bed and pecked your lips again. “I like that I’m the only one you make that face for…” his low voice, husky against your skin. He took you in, almost hungrily. From the way your eyes sparkled at him, the flush of your cheeks, the rawness of your lips. His eyes following the curve of your cheeks, the sweet path of kisses he led down your neck to your collarbone. The way that your towel still clung to your body. “Can I really call you mine?” he whispered, more so to himself.

You nodded leaning over to kiss his wrist softly. “I’m yours…”

He lost himself in kissing you. There were so many things he wanted to do, but there was nothing quite like kissing you. The taste of coffee and cream on your lips, he’d grown accustomed to. The way you moaned his name when he kissed you in those sweet spots. Just below your ear, in that little curve of your neck, over your breast. The way your toes curled when his kisses turned into love bites and how your head fell back on to the mattress.

He loved that when he kissed you, you’d giggled. He loved how you’d tangle your fingernails in his hair and scratched his scalp. He loved how whenever he broke a kiss you’d chase his lips. He loved how you'd’ run your nose against his before kissing him again. He loved how your thighs felt around his head when he delved his tongue in deeper to kiss you there. The way your thighs tightened and you squirmed; his tongue flicking at just the right angle.

He knew he had you when you desperately reached out to grip the bedsheets, grasping at nothing, but arching your back for him. The way you shuddered for him, blissfully whimpering when you came from his tongue.

Your towel, tossed aside and long-forgotten when Felix pulled back. Wiping the slick from his mouth with his thumb he gave you a heated look. “You’re so beautiful...” he pecked your lips again before bucking his hardened length against your sensitive core. Not giving you much time to recover. Rubbing himself against your slit “Say you’re mine again” he smiled seeing you move your own hips against him.

“I’m yours, I’m all yours” you whined feeling him tease you more. “Please Felix Nnn..” you closed your eyes feeling him sink into you. He took his time, basking in that sweet feeling of stretching you out.

You looked up at him as he pumped into you, your fingers laced with his free hand while he held your waist with the other. His hips finding a rhythm against yours, while he desperately tried to find more and more ways to make you moan his name.

He made sure he worked you over again and again until you were a wanton mess. Leaving love bites over your collarbone and breast. Even covered in sweat he was breathtaking. You brushed his hair out of his face, beaming up at him. Those heart shaped lips that made you feel so wanted, those freckles that mapped his face that you loved to count, those dark doe eyes that held the stars, and those slender but strong arms that made you feel home. “Are you mine?” you asked him with the softest voice, your fingers running through his hair as you held his gaze.

“I’m yours” he shuddered, loving the sound of those words on your lips. His body reacting on pure instinct as he came in you. More than your body, more than your voice, your words were enough to finally push him over the edge. His nose softly brushing yours as he peppered sweet kisses on your lips. “I love you...I don’t wanna be anyone else's...”

You couldn’t stop the bright smile that graced your features. Kissing him back, and hugging him tightly when he collapsed beside you. His body worn out from loving you. “I love you to Felix...” you giggled as he buried his face his your neck. “We need to get ready for dinner with your mom”

“We could take a shower together to save time” he quirked his eyebrows playfully.

You laughed and nodded “Not a bad idea” you kissed his hair, sighing softly. “By the way, what did Chan say when you flaked from work today?”

“Oh fuck-”

End..

I didn’t mean for this to be so long D: But I hope you guys enjoyed that

∘Tags List:

@skzsprinkles @tophuphu @hugs4chan @channieboyo @tonfilm @soobinssmile

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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years

Photo

you’re the one that i want (part 5)

word count: 5k

fluff

(part 4) (series masterlist)

tag list: @chogiout ; @seonghwaslut ; @psshwa ; @yeocult ; @seongghwaa ; @cherryeonii ; @chaoticbanqtan ; @8teenee ; @nczenniez ; @atinyarmyx1 ; @mingtopiaa ; @chubsluda ; @myjiminmychimchim ; @mochibabycakes ; @jisungity ; @skz-on-my-mind ; @nlost21 ; @myonlyaurora ; @closer-stars ; @kuaenam3g ; @byungaji ; @floweryjh ;

when seonghwa doesn't see you down at the beach for the next three days, he can't even pretend not to be worried.

because even if you didn't want to go surfing anymore, he thinks you would have at least been down here at some point. high temperatures and the summer sun was quickly approaching and it seemed as if everyone but you and your aunt were at the beach these days.

"you lookin' for someone?" hongjoong asks, noticing the way seonghwa's eyes have been roaming the beach all day. they had come in from the harsh waves and laid out on their towels and chairs, waiting for jongho and yunho to come down with their food from the diner.

he snaps his head toward hongjoong and away from the other parts of the beach, particularly the parts right in front of your aunt's house, his eyes questioning and jaw slightly tensed.

"what?"

the redhead can only smirk, leaning up on his towel as he looks at his friend. "you lookin' to swim with y/n again?" seonghwa rolls his eyes at the boy, only proving his point further as to why he didn't want them knowing you two had been hanging out.

because after he walked you home a few nights ago, he went back down to the beach and found his three friends still seated around the fire.

"where the fuck were you?" hongjoong asks, his eyes lighting up upon seeing seonghwa but his words slurred and face flushed from all the beers. seonghwa rolls his eyes, pushing the boy over to make room on the blanket.

"told you i was walking."

hongjoong narrows his eyes, him and jongho poking at seonghwa and calling him a liar. they whined over and over for him to tell them what he was really doing, if he was up to something bad or meeting up with a girl.

he huffs and curses lowly at them, moving away to go to yunho who's talking to a few boys from his school.

"hey, you're back," the boy says, seonghwa humming before nodding a hello at the others. and it's not until they're going back to his house, hongjoong under seonghwa's arm and jongho under yunho's, when he starts getting harassed again.

"you gonna tell me where you went?" yunho asks with a smirk, throwing the two drunk boys on a blanket on the floor; he learned the hard way that when they're this shitfaced, there's a high probability of waking up to puke on the couch.

"you my fuckin' mom or something?" seonghwa growls out, going through the fridge to grab a bottle of water. "you want one?" yunho nods his head and catches it with ease, the two boys plopping down on the couch as they turn the tv on.

"you like y/n," the blue haired boy says simply.

seonghwa's upper lip curls in disgust and it'd look convincing to just about anyone but yunho, hongjoong or jongho. they know all too well how good seonghwa is at masking his emotions, pretending to feel something else even though he's softer than he lets on.

"i barely know her."

"but you're getting to know her. you were with her tonight, right?"

seonghwa pops his neck to the side as tension fills him, wondering why the fuck everyone is on his ass about this. what is it there business if he's getting to know anyone? why can't they just ignore him instead of asking question after question like a group of bored, gossiping housewives?

"no. i told you guys i went for a walk."

"five minutes after she did?" yunho asks, smirking because he can feel his friend getting irritated; but apparently seonghwa's forgetting about the torture they put him through last year, when he went on a first date with a girl and the three boys barged into the restaurant and demanded a table next to them.

so excuse him for wanting payback, especially when it's so rare for his friend to show interest in a girl.

"fuck off, i don't like her," seonghwa says, ignoring the way his body rejects that statement. "she's got too much..."

"baggage?" a drunken jongho offers from the floor, the dirty blonde kicking the boy in the ribs roughly. "no, you dick," seonghwa snaps, the blonde groaning as hongjoong laughs at him.

"even if she had baggage, she's pretty. i'd hold those bags."

yunho bites down on his lip and peeks at seonghwa who's staring down at them in disgust, trying not to laugh at just how obvious seonghwa's becoming. but he thinks it’s good, that seonghwa deserves someone like you who will open him up and maybe make him feeling something; even though for now, he’s probably gonna keep denying it.

"i told you i wasn't with her," seonghwa grumbles, kicking sand toward the boy as he sits in his chair. hongjoong dodges it though, turning his body before raising an eyebrow at the boy.

"so you guys just both happened to leave five minutes apart?"

seonghwa only shrugs his shoulders and looks away, knowing that if he tries to say anything more, it's gonna make him seem defensive. he watches the beachgoers and finds himself staring just a bit longer than normal at people who look like you, with similar hair and skin tone that always ends up not looking right.

why hasn't he seen you? and why does he care so much?

"all the tourists are already here, that place was fuckin' packed!" yunho says, carrying takeout bags of burgers and fries while jongho balances the drink tray; seonghwa takes one look at the struggling boy and feels himself sigh heavily.

"why does he have the drinks, he's gonna-" and promptly, the cupholder with four drinks topples over and lands facedown in the sand.

"drop them," seonghwa finishes with a groan, the two other boys snapping their heads to see jongho looking very guilty and shocked. "i was so close, you guys," the youngest boy whines, desperately trying to pick up the spilling drinks and shove them in the holder.

"okay, well we're not gonna drink them now!" hongjoong says.

"and?!" jongho exclaims dramatically. "i'm not a litterbug!"

seonghwa rolls his eyes before taking his food from yunho, watching in half annoyance and half amusement as jongho pushes clean sand over the sticky soda mess.

"perfect!" jongho says, plopping down on the blanket as he takes his sandwich out and unwraps it excitedly. "so did seonghwa finally admit to being with y/n last night?"

the boy in question looks at the blonde with his head cocked to the side, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched before he kicks his foot up and knocks the boy's food right into the sand.

"what. the. fuck!" jongho yelps, looking in devastation at his sandwich buried in the sand before whining seonghwa's name. but he only shrugs his shoulders, giving him a stern, unwavering stare that he only hopes will keep at least one of his friends off his back today.

the four of them make their way back to yunho's after eating and another quick dip in the ocean, currently bickering over the shower order as the blue haired boy watches in amusement.

"okay, but i got this gnarly cut on my back from when i fell, i think that means-"

"that you fucking suck. and don't ever use the word gnarly again."

yunho and seonghwa snort at the two boys, the banter between the older and younger always far too amusing. when they make their way on the sidewalk, they see your aunt taking out the garbage with a mask on her face. her eyes catch the boys as she meets them down at the sidewalk, waving at them and saying something that goes unheard.

"sorry but we can't understand you," yunho chuckles out, touching his face to indicate the mask; the woman smacks her head before lowering the blue fabric. "oh god, i'm sorry. i was asking how the water was today!"

her and yunho chat back and forth for a few moments, attempting to include the other boys in the conversation. seonghwa can't help but notice how happy and bubbly she is, her laugh contagious and smile bright.

"alright i won't keep you boys any longer. i should get back to y/n anyway, poor girl," she says. and the woman must see concern cross the boys faces, or maybe one boy's face in particular, because she begins to talk again. "she'd be the only person to catch a horrific cold when it's almost july."

seonghwa's eyes travel to the upstairs window, grazing the balcony and remembering how that room's light flickered on when he dropped you home the other night. the four of them say goodbye before rushing over to yunho's, hongjoong and jongho fighting to get through the doorway and to the shower on the second floor.

"so she got sick, huh?" yunho hums lowly, a smirk on his face. "happens to a lot of people who swim at night."

"yeah?" seonghwa challenges, narrowing his eyes at the boy before smacking him upside the head. "then there goes your little theory. i'm not sick."

and then just to be a dick, he charges toward yunho's bedroom and locks the ensuite despite the boy's groans of protest. the same groans present three hours later as the four of them walk to tonight's house party.

"maybe if you didn't take so long, we wouldn't be three hours late."

"maybe if you assholes didn't make me shower last at my own house, this wouldn't have happened." yunho side eyes seonghwa who literally wants to be anywhere else tonight, in no mood to mingle or deal with the loud, obnoxiousness of drunk teenagers.

"no one shows up on time anyway," the boy grumbles, rolling his eyes when he hears the music coming from the house; he gives himself two hours before he leaves.

but that was incredibly generous because after just 40 minutes, he is losing his mind. he's been standing in the same corner with the same cold, miserable look on his face, nodding his head when people come up to talk to yunho and hongjoong like they haven't been seeing him for years.

he comes every june, july and august to see visit his mom; or more accurately to house sit. she usually uses her summers off to travel, spending about a week with him before whatever boyfriend she has at the time jets them off to somewhere in europe.

he'd gotten used to the loneliness of his house, choosing to either go to yunho's or find a girl to spend the night with.

but tonight, any girl that eyes him, he shoots a look that screams 'please do not approach me.' because usually he's doing the very opposite at these events, using his obvious piercing eyes and charming smile to lure a girl over and bring her back back to his house so he can get off in her mouth.

but he's just not feeling all that inspired these days, especially not today when he finds that guilt and blame are weighing him down. when a woman's voice who he'd only met a number of times is ringing in his head.

"she'd be the only person to catch a horrific cold when it's almost july."

except it wasn't your fault, it was totally his doing; persuading you to go in the water and splash around for a good hour despite the whipping winds and cold temperature. but it had been fun, probably the most wholesome fun he'd had in a while. you had only ever seemed scared and wary of him when you hung out but he loved how much you laughed that night.

splashed him without a care and squealed when he threw you down in the water. he wasn't used to the feeling in his chest any time it happened, wanting to hear it again and again and be the reason for it.

but that would be crazy. because, as he so pointedly told yunho, he doesn't know you. he knows some things, that you're forgetful but also thoughtful, that there's someone who's avoiding your phone calls that you really wanna hear from, that you flinched away from him and sometimes act like a skittish, abused cat.

and if there's anything he knows about cats, it's that the skittish ones are hard to deal with. you make progress with them day by day, needing to have patience and a basic understanding of what upsets them or what they fear. but then the slightest mishap or mistake could send them reeling back to the state you found them: terrified and extremely jumpy.

but you're not a cat. you're a living, human being and he knows for someone to act like that, they'd need to endure a lot. possibly in a cycle of abuse, of any kind, that has left them scared and suspicious of people.

he's not quite sure why but a part of him wants to learn more about you. learn about what's happened to make you that way and be there for you in a way he needs someone too; because even though he doesn't really know how, he thinks he wants to try.

"seonghwa, we're doing flip cup. you coming?"

yunho saw the boy was spaced out for quite a bit, his back against the wall as he stared blankly ahead of him. he wonders what he was thinking about to be so distracted but figured if he asked, the boy would just lie anyway. the same way he knows he lies when he says he's gonna head home.

"what, are you sure?" yunho asks, "we just got here."

"yeah, no, not feeling it tonight," seonghwa says, nodding his head toward yunho, as jongho and hongjoong are already deep in their flip cup practice.

"beat those idiots. i'll see you tomorrow." yunho smirks and waves at his friend, the slightest suspicion in his bones that he'll be going back in the direction they came from.

and for the most part, yunho was right. but seonghwa did make a quick stop first after calling in a favor to the waitress he gave that $10 tip to.

you couldn't believe that after three days, you still felt like shit. your bones were aching and head was pounding the morning you woke up after night swimming, nearly hitting the floor when you got up to pee.

and you only got worse throughout the day, a 101 fever and chills that kept you huddled under your comforter for days. your aunt would come in, clad in a mask and sometimes even gloves, to give you food and keep you company.

"you don't have to bring my food, i could come down," you insisted. but you both knew that was a lie, if the way you could barely get up to use the bathroom was any indication. and while you were doing better now, you still felt weak and tired and welcomed the salty breeze that blew through the open doors of the balcony.

the fresh air had been nice but it also made you feel like you were missing out.

you hadn't been able to talk to seonghwa or yunho or anyone else for that matter but you found yourself wondering if they even noticed; you and seonghwa never said how long you guys were gonna hang out and surf for so it's not like you were indebted to one another.

but still, you don't like the idea of anyone thinking you forgot about them; it's a feeling you know all too well.

your aunt had gone to bed for the night and you just woke from a poorly timed nap, now past eleven o'clock as you lay in your bed watching a netflix series you just started. you lay there watching, thinking about running a hot bath or shower, when you hear something outside. you pick your head up and listen again, only listening to the familiar sounds of waves in the distance.

but then it happens again a few seconds later and you let out a tiny groan, slowly getting up and walking outside. you welcome the cool air on your hot skin, looking out into the yard before another rock comes up and just misses your foot.

"ow," you say softly, even though the rock didn’t touch you. "what the hell?" and then when you look over, you see no other than a smirking seonghwa standing there with a plastic to go bag in his hand.

"hey."

you stare down in shock, mouth slightly agape as you take in the sight of him just outside your window. what is he doing here? and why is he smiling at like that? and oh, my god you haven't washed your hair or left your bed in days and now he's really here looking as handsome as he usually does.

"hi. what- what are you doing here?" you immediately ask, grasping the side of the barrier keeping you from falling right off.

"brought you something, can i come up?"

"um, well, i’m- i'm sick, i don't want you to-"

but he ignores your words and walks forward, assessing the side of the house like he's trying to figure out his next move. you look over and see his face, shaking your head because the last thing you need is for your aunt's friends to see a boy scaling the side of her house; he could also trip and fall and then a surfing turtle knick knack certainly wouldn’t make up for that.

"you can't climb up! you could fall down and get hurt!"

his neck cranes up and he bites his cheek to not laugh, securing the bag on his wrist before bringing his hand to the white trellis on the side of the house littered with red and pink roses.

"seonghwa!" you whisper-yell, watching him smirk before he brings his hand back down. "you can't just scale the side of her house. i'll come down and-"

you watch him roll his eyes at you carelessly before walking over to the other side, your eyes widening and cheeks warming in embarrassment when you're reminded that there is, in fact, a spiral staircase leading up to this very balcony.

you hear his heavy footsteps until he's standing in front of you, your hair messy and knotted while he looks like he stepped out of a magazine; you've been wearing the same pajamas for the past three days and you don't even wanna know how sick and sweaty you smell.

"did you know there was a staircase the whole time?" you asked quietly, your cheeks burning in the cool night air. and then even more when his lips quirk into a smirk, nodding his head at you.

you let out a tiny sigh, overwhelmed with the need to sit as you plop down on the purple patio furniture. he watches you carefully, the way you curl up and rest your head on your arm like walking over had exhausted you.

you can't find it in you to speak as you think about how horrifically ill you must look right now. because your head is still pounding and your body is just aching, probably from laying around for 72 hours.

"how you feeling?" he asks, walking over to sit down next to you. but you quickly scoot away as far as you can. "

i feel better but i could still be contagious," you tell him softly. "i don't wanna get you sick."

"i think it'd be fair if you did," he says lowly, "since it's my fault in the first place." you look over at him with a slight frown on your face, shaking your head immediately.

"no it's not."

he watches you with a skeptical expression, his eyebrow raised and jaw tight causing you to shrug your shoulders. "it's not...because how come you're not sick, then?" because you're a big, strong man? you're tempted to say but refrain, partially because you don't know how he'll react to teasing right now and because he is, in fact, a big, strong man.

"whatever," he mumbles, still feeling slightly at blame for your current state. but it’s nothing like the stupid nervousness running through his body right now, the plastic bag in his hand a reminder of what he came over here to do.

but the more he thinks about it, the more creepy he feels. who just walks on to someone's balcony and gives them food without warning?

but it's too late now and he's already half way there, popping his neck to the side before placing the bag down next to you. "your aunt told us before that you were sick,” he says, toying with the straps of the plastic bag. “so i... wanted to bring you this."

your eyebrows pull together, looking at him in confusion before he nods his head toward the mysterious item. you purse your lips to the side and hesitantly peak inside, feeling your hands touch something hot before the smell of chicken broth hits your nose.

he didn't get you...

"it's soup. just chicken noodle," he says, feeling more and more uncomfortable by this exchange; what a sappy idiot he looks like right now, it's really kind of pathetic. "don't know if you like that but when your aunt said that you were sick, i-"

"no," you immediately blurt out, cutting him off as you snap your head to look at him. he looks at you in confusion and you can't help the smile that makes it way on your face. "i like it. i love it. it's one of my favorites. thank you."

he can't help but smile at your words, feeling himself relax slightly at your reaction; he had a feeling you'd be too polite to act upset or offended but it didn't stop the fear and embarrassment from flooding through him.

he doesn't do things like this, he's not thoughtful or considerate of others. he doesn't think to go out of his way for people or surprise them with things for just the sake of them needing comfort. though here he is now, handing you over a bowl of soup he just knew he needed to give you the second your aunt said you weren’t feeling good.

and why? for what? why you?

but then your eyes soften and mumble a quiet, "thank you," rummaging through the bag with a small smile on your lips and it hits him that that is why. he watches you slurp quietly, humming softly as it warms your throat before your smile widens.

"this is good," you sigh out, almost embarrassed by how touched and happy you are over a bowl of soup. "thank you."

"welcome," he mumbles, suddenly finding the view of the beach all too captivating to ignore. you slurp up the noodles and broth beside him, occasionally seeing him turn to stare at you.

"you're a loud eater," he says and you narrow your eyes at him, slurping purposely louder and causing him to lowly chuckle. he turns away so you can finish, biting his lip at the little content noises leaving you.

he hears you fiddle with the bag as you put the empty container away, a few moments of silence stretching between you two. you're still so stupidly touched by the gesture and it really shows just how deprived you are of kind people in your life. but how can you not be happy? it's a summer night and he's spent it bringing you over soup.

"you didn't have to do that, you know," you find yourself saying softly. because as nice as it was and as happy as you are, you would've never ever expected this from anyone.

he looks over at you when those words leave your mouth, resting his arm back against the couch cushions as he licks at his lip. "i wanted to," he tells you.

he wanted to because he feels guilty, you hear that voice in your head say, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do about his conscience.

“it was my choice to try night swimming,” you say, voice quiet and shaky as you try to calm your facing hart. “it wasn't your fault so you don’t have to, like, feel bad or anything...”

“what aren't you getting?” he asks, the words immediately causing you to swallow nervously and look at him. “anything i do, i want to do. i'm never gonna feel inclined to do something just for the hell of it."

you bite the inside of your cheek at his words, sinking back into the couch defensively. his words and tone aren't mean or biting, more so just blunt and straight forward, but they still make you oddly nervous, nodding your head as a quiet "okay," eventually leaves your mouth.

and maybe it's because he doesn't answer that you blurt out some more things. things you really wish you hadn't said to him.

"it's just that...people normally don't wanna do those things for me." your voice is mousy and shaky and it's such a small thing to say but makes you feel incredibly vulnerable.

you can't help but think about how your parents have never made food for you while you were sick, how even after getting your tonsils removed or when you had a broken foot, they didn't cater to you in the slightest. they still made you walk to school and fend for yourself for dinner most nights, telling you that it wasn't their job to make your life easier.

and it’s not even like you have friends that could’ve done anything for you; most things you just do for yourself, apart from the times you’re here with your aunt.

"well i normally don't wanna do those things for people, so i guess we're both new to this.”

you turn your head to meet his gaze and he’s able to see just how much you really mean those words, your eyes twinged with sadness and confusion like you're trying to figure out what the hell he wants from you; but he doesn't really have an answer for that either, so you’ll be finding out together it seems.

a smile lights up your face before you look down at the cushion, pushing your hand into it and seeing the imprint pop up. "i guess," you say lowly. there's a warm feeling in your chest and a pulling in your stomach that really likes the sound of that, the both of you learning things together.

"now tell me," he says with a smirk, your head snapping up to meet his gaze again. "did you get sick the time you went skinny dipping?"

your cheeks flush and you giggle into your hand, slapping his arm lightly causing him to smile.

"is that a no?" he teases, your whine of "stop," causing him to smile.

you both stay out there until you can barely keep your eyes open, staying within safe topics of his friends and what else they like to do in this small beach town. you tell him about your aunt’s friends and how crazy the bingo nights can really get, a lot more sneaky cheaters than one would think.

"i think i wanna come to the next one," he hums lowly, a tired chuckle leaving your mouth as you shake your head. he can tell you’re getting tired by the droopiness of your eyes, a pink flush on your cheeks from the cold and he's half tempted to order you back inside.

but then you tiredly smile at him and he cant bring himself to leave you yet. he doesn't wanna go home to an empty house or back to that party when he could be here getting to know all about the...wholesome activities you do.

"they'll attack you," you mumble sleepily, remembering how all of the widowed woman attacked nancy's ex-boyfriend when she bought him once. "they're not used to men."

he smirks over as he looks at you, your eyes closed and head swaying in your hand before it falls off and onto the cushion. your eyes pop open and your cheeks burn, shaking away the drowsiness as you smile shyly.

"sorry. i shouldn't even be tired. i slept so much these past three days."

he can't help but smile over at you, shaking his head before looking over your cold, tired figure. "maybe you should go to bed."

but that's the last thing you wanna do; you wanna stay out here with him for just a little longer. because oddly enough, even though you haven’t known him very long, you missed his presence.

"no i'm okay," you insist with a smile, attempting to perk up. "unless you're tired."

"i'm good," he smirks, "do you have a blanket though?"

you jump up at the comment, ignoring the pounding in your head and the call of seonghwa's voice as you grab the white throw blanket at the end of your bed.

"here you go," you say, resting the blanket on his lap before sitting back down before you collapse. but then you think you might pass out anyway when he moves closer to you, taking the blanket from his lap and securing it around your body.

his hand lingers on your arm as he covers you completely, deeming you successfully warmed before he pulls back slightly.

"can't have you getting more sick," he mumbles, his long fingers playing with the end of the white fabric. you can only swallow nervously, not daring to move a muscle as his fingers rest on the blanket covering a part of your thigh.

and after a few moments of silence, attempting to control your ragged breathing between him and the cold, you hear him speak up again.

"y/n, it’s chilly, i really think you should-"

"no," you whine, a pout on your tired face as you lean the side of your head on the cushion. you look up at him and see his eyes move to your lips, lingering for a few moments before back at your face.

"you don't even know what i was gonna say," he says, his deep voice low but laced with amusement.

"you were gonna tell me to go inside," you say, quirking your eyebrows up playfully. "and i don't wanna."

"but you should," he hums, his hard gaze softening without his knowledge.

you only shake your head with a small smile, burying it in to the soft purple cushion as your eyes move to watch the calmness of the beach. he allows himself a few extra moments to look over your face, that unfamiliar pulling feeling in his chest making him wanna reach out an place his arm around you.

but he only keeps his hand on your leg, his long, ring-covered fingers toying with the blanket covering your pink pajamas pants.

and it only takes a few minutes for your eyes to close and body to relax again, seonghwa feeling a weight on his shoulder while he watches the dark waves crash. he looks down and sees your eyes are closed, breaths slow and even against his shirt and he shakes his head despite the small smile on his face.

he secures the blanket around you, admiring your sleeping face once more before he accepts the fact that, perhaps, you're about to change his whole summer.

(part 6)

#seonghwa #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa series #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez series #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios

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