#we need to find what makes us happy
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When you backread through a fun conversation you had with someone for hours an angel gets its wings
#I was talking to my brother about Norman doors and I had fun in my UX class and he was telling me about demon cores and the trolley problem#in his class. AND I remembered to take my meds today so I can feel every cell in my body. i can feel the neurons rubbing together#and yesterday I infodumped about the specialists bullseye chart to crow and how it ties with witch hat atelier#WHICH I MANAGED TOGET THEM TK READ IM SO HAPPY. I MAKE SQUEALING GUINEA PIG NOISES EVERY TIME THEY TELL ME WHAT THEYVE READ SO FAR. AHH#i might not even be scratching the surface with witch hat there are so many themes i could not possibly fathom or go over my heasd#and thats what makes it so exciting there are so many spaces in between that you can fill with your thoughts and i. i#waves my hands around manically#for anyone interested in my insane ramblings. the bullseye chart is from are we all scientific experts now by harry collins#in my own words its basically saying everything we know about anything is a game of broken telephone#and it discusses how information gets lost in translation between experts and laymen including things that arent in control#one of the main points was how things that happen between experts are complicated including debates and findings#that you can only really understand thru research and experience in that field and cant be smoothly shared without it being reworded#and risking some of those key points. or even concepts that are hard to understand that cant be shared at all#like if you tried to tell me about how DNA works using words scientists are familiar with but i am NOT- i risk missing concepts that i need#to understand to know how it works on the level you understand. or i risk having it reworded and understanding it but not on that level#AND IT DOES TIE TO WITCH HAT THE WITCH AND NORMAL FOLK COMMUNITIES I PROMISE. ITS SO INTERESTING#anyway i spent hours reading back thru that conversation and i might as well admit it goes for almost every fun conversation i have#and it might be the 20mg of adderall in my body but i am in such a state of peace and love i have to verbalize it. ahh#yapping
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dip pen ink comm batch 4 complete! for Ezechiel, @ohwwhuv, and Leo :]
#bakuspecial#commission art#the grayscale for these were done on a train with my laptop track pad fksdjhf it was! manageable! but not desirable condition#that was before I got my new current tablet too... thank you my old huion. you served me well. Im so sorry I chipped ur paint to shit#ngl the texture on the new one's better off the bat. the grip's better and it has good kinetic feedback#too bad abt the touch buttons tho... I was confident I could make use of them but alas#things need actual feelable buttons again please I can Not tell where anything is when Im drawing and cant look at the tablet#my eyes are on the screen!! Im bad at gauging distance!!! please give me buttons I can find in the dark. please#even the old huion which has actual buttons I still couldnt use them. bc theyre not raised#theyre flat to the tablet's surface. you know what I shouldve tacked raised stickers on them I was stupid there#well! the more u learn. the more u learn#I'm happy with the current tablet tho!! buttons stuff aside it's nice to draw on. and thats what important. wrists dont hurt no more#almost said ''I miss the wacom eraser end" I don't. not really. every time I used that thang I was like wow you are so imprecise and blunt#litcherally why would you want basically a mappable stylus end but it's 50 times the size of a normal nib and you cant see where ur drawing#especially on a screen tablet. the dynamic there makes absolutely no sense#I can really do the same thing now by mapping one of the stylus buttons to swap foreground color to transparency#anyways. this has been my testimonies on tablets. in the tags of a dip pen ink post lmao#well! this is a late post I shouldve posted this before art fight. thank u again to that anon who reminded me#have a good day lads! we can answer emails together. hands in professional hands
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Me @ Netflix if they cut Foxglove and Hazel or A Game of You or yassify any of the girls
#sandman season 2#a game of you#fucking bullshit man this comic say what you want in not saying there's nothing to criticize but christ#where else even today do you get queer women characters this un-polished and prettied up#to still be appealing looking to cishet men who are allowed to be messy and Problematic without#being punished by the narrative. And Wanda god she's a nerd she's a scene gal fashion wise she's everything#Barbie is desperately recovering any sense of identity at all and it's so compelling. I don't even trust netflix to do them justice#at this point but if the lesbians the fandom was least likely to find Palatable background extras aka the most human ones#are cut? If Wanda is yassified if Barbie is cut? Because we have to streamline everything and cut off everything that made#sandman unique to pull as many bucks as possible? Yes I AM going to take that#personally actually. It kinda does feel like a slap in the face. Queer women and women in general were the core fanbase of the comic for ye#but if they say fuck us when it's time to make $$?? Then fuck them right back. Bye#We don't need yet another time that if queer women aren't looking like models#they're not fit to be seen according to executives and audiences alike#also it goes without saying that if h0b g*dli*g gets one second more screen time than is necessary#I'm gonna chew my way thru Netflix hqs walls#Has he not taken over enough. The fandom is already insufferable about him#and I'm so fucken tired of it we DON'T need more#yes I know this is all fears and speculation. I WANT to be wrong. You don't know how happy I'll be if i have to eat my own words#But until then I'm so nervous
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what is love! baby don't hurt me. don't hurt me. no more.
#sloth log#just aroace things#idk i've just been thinking about the concept of love. what does it mean. what do i want from it. or something.#i'm locked in my own head and i don't know what other people experience when they say they're in love. do i want to know?#do i love the people around me? or is it just that they make me happy and that's why i want them to be happy and safe?#is there a meaningful difference between the two? (do i really love my friends?)#words making things complicated again. i know what i want and what i feel but when i try to put it into words they feel flat.#like i need to add footnotes and disclaimers. maybe some examples and various cases and conditions. and even then i'll forget something.#and by the time i have some functional definition i've forgotten about the real people in my life. maybe that's part of it.#(yes i need to touch grass.)#alexander avila's video essay about autism and self-diagnoses had a cool segment about how we use labels to find support and community#i guess i'll do that then!#uh. hello!#aplatonic#hi guys i think i'm apl-spec! grayplatonic is what i'm thinkin' so far
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everyone pick which romance i should do first i can't choose by myself this is too hard i need others to decide for me i swear i will follow your judgment
#rena.txt#context if you aren't familiar with my girl: half moon-elf warlock from waterdeep (don't get swayed here skfjsk)/disgraced noble who lived#most of her life under the wings of very abusive parents that didn't love her at all. her approach to love was killing the codependent best#friend she was obsessed with (his fault trust me) and nearly killed the girl she was later in love with (i sense a problem with killing..)#she thinks of herself as unlovable. mostly a weapon you can point and use. she doesn't know what a home should feel like and needs#someone to show her what love is (healthy this time). also she loves poetry and the sea and music and plays the lute and loves good jokes#even if she barely shows her laugh she can and will if you're a friend she trusts. also i fear she's barely in her right state of mind since#she can sometimes hear the dead bestie speak to her and she has his skull in a pouch so she can talk to or unleash her rage on it.#weird girl but who isn't :))) skfjskfks my best friend said i need to let her find happiness OR ELSE so here we are.#i had a tragic demise planned for her but he said i need to stop making my ocs suffer for once#also i'll surely romance both at some point but like. first choice usually fries my brain forever
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Another thing that doesn't make sense: if Mike's reason to struggle with saying ily is because he's scared of El not needing him anymore, wtf did he not say anything when she was BEGGING him to say it, crying. His actions don't make any sense. When she was fighting Vecna, why did he only say it after Will told him to say something. All he said are lies, shit he came up with on the moment. He cares for her, he loves her platonically, but FUCK, that's not romantic love. Their relationship is build on lies, manipulation, arguments, spying and pressure from others. If they're so good for one each other, why are they always arguing, why are their best interactions platonic, why do they always have to be apart for the narrative to progress, why does Mike has more romantic chemistry with Will. Duffers, if your plan is to make Milkvan endgame, making a queer character feelings for his best friend as the instigator to the cishet romance is NOT it. El didn't commission the painting, those are Will's feelings, El doesn't NEED romantic love, especially from Mike, to grow. Otherwise, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SEPARATE THEM FOR HER TO GROW. Why whenever they're together they're just garbage shells of themselves. This is NOT a healthy relationship. Why have Mike have such a meaningful relationship with Will, which is shown to impact both their lives, to throw it all away for the sake of a cishet romance. Is just INFURIATING. And ik this is set in the 80s and what not, and maybe that's how queer romance would end up, but this is a show you're making in 2022. What message are you giving to the public? That queer people are just meant to suffer and be unhappy? That if you're in a relationship you're allowed to have that as your sole personality trait, all that while treating your gf badly (only saying you love her in life or death situations) and destroying your relationship with your bff? That if your a girl that went through shitload of trauma, that instead of needing professional help for it and support and love from your friends and family, all you need is for your bf to say he loves you and all the problems from the relationship that were making you miserable will magically go away?!? Yeah that's a happy ending, that's the sort of message we should tell others.
#byler#as an educator this sort of storytelling is so damaging#like fuck being your own person all you need is a cishet romance and everything will be solved#how pretty#ugh i'm so pissed#duffers i hate you#and if your plan is to make byler endgame#my dudes you should've at least gave us some undeniable evidence that that's the way#as it is what guarantee do we have that your not just throwing storytelling and clues in the background in the fan#cus mate this is not it#give us something to show that you're not actually going to ignore the sibtext#that you didn't just destroy mike's character for a relationship#that will is not gonna end up being the sad gay trope#that jane is actually gonna be an example of finding your own identity after so many people trying to tell her who she is#or at least that what we got until now is not supposed to be seen as a happy ending#as goals#just anything#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#eleven#jane hopper#stranger things s4#stranger things spoilers#stranger things volume 2#wow that was a rant#tw caps
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hi Nico! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, I hope you’ll be okay and can take some time to yourself :( <3
thank youuu silver i really appreciate this!! i'll be okay, shit just isn't Fantastic rn been struggling w this and other stuff so like. it's not easy but i'll be fine i'm trying my best to take care of myself and find peace within myself which is the hardest place to find it but honestly i think the only one?? but yeah ly and i hope you're doing well 🩵
#the world's too fucked to find peace in it i've pretty much grown certain of that#and i don't even mean this as like... there's no hope and no good things#i just mean we have to find the good things and the good people and do what we can together to like#make things better and all live in the most comfortable and meaningful way possible?#community in the end is the answer to the question is there any hope for a peaceful and free and comfortable and happy life. there is if we#stick and work together l#SORRY this was a tangent. i'm just like. finding peace within myself and realizing more and more that what i need is other people#but not in the way i've always thought i needed them. and that i still feel i need them. in the most fucked up way i still feel like that#bc the way i've p much always interacted w others is thru the lenses of my mental illnesses so it's alwaysssss been so distorted#and damn isn't it hard to break free of that. w no therapy especially. but anyway this is a whole thing#which you didn't ask me abt sorry silver fjdbkrvkfbj#been in a very reflective mood lately. bc i'm struggling and need to find a way out so yeah#but THANK YOUU again and yeah dw i'll be fine i'm gonna do my best to be okay#asks#cheri#i don't think you have a preference name wise btw but if i'm wrong pls do let me know i've just been using cheri and silver interchangeably
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Perpetually in a love-hate relationship with Gerwig films
#like her little women is so good and beautiful and it has so much heart and I truly do enjoy it the most out of the adaptations I've seen#but then we get into the Problems#and I can't stand the Friedrich erasure#like he's there and we get the umbrella scene and whatnot but then she paints over it with the scene at the publisher's office#like did it happen? did it not?...#which is Not The Point!!#like magpie was saying in her barbie post the answer is love actually!#and yeah Jo still has her family but it doesn't hit as well when they tell us that the happy ending 'isn't girl gets boy but girl gets book#great for Jo that she has her book! that's incredible! but what you need is human connection!#and canonically she not only stays close to her family but she finds a husband who is her equal partner and whom she's madly in love with#which would round out her attic monologue so well#she doesn't want to be cornered into society's role for a woman as just a wife and mother#but she's lonely!! she wants connection!! the ending brings her full circle because she finds love AND an additional purpose outside of it#but then making it open ended or like she didn't find the connection she wanted cheapens the whole thing#elly's posts#little women 2019
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#Maybe 84 Charing Cross Road had too strong an effect on me. As I turn my head this way and that#trying to figure out what I shall do with myself when the semester is over and ties are cut with the school I've been teaching for this pas#decade#it occurs to me that I might go - hat in hand as it were - to the old bookseller who runs my favourite used bookstore of all time.#The shop has the most wonderfully curated selection. The first time I walked in there#having been used to the used book section in value village#I almost had my breath taken away#I have to be careful not to go there too often because I am weak for spending money on books#but every Christmas I go and buy a ton as presents and usually something for myself#and I ask the owner if I can start a stack on his counter while I shop and he is always happy and comments on my finds as I bring them#He is kind and conversational on those occasions#My mom once struck up a long conversation with him when we were there together#and learned how he has owned that shop forty years or so and does not have an assistant because he's always managed on his own#And last night as I tried to fall asleep I got ridiculously ahead of myself and imagined the possibilities of employment there in#the detail of a novel without much regard for the probable realities - the realities that he has given no sign of wanting to hire and#having gone so far without an assistant probably doesn't want one#that there would be sides to the job which would likely be dreary#and that as with any job there would be all kinds of difficulties#BUT I often need these romantic imaginings to spur me on to take any kind of action. So - this might be silly - but I am thinking of doing#things the old fashioned way - of going round to the shop rather than emailing him - and asking if there is any chance that there might#be opportunities for work. It will likely all come to nothing and I'll keep looking#but I'll at least make a memory of having tried.
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god how are my husbands the most amazing men in the world
#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980#everyday i feel so unbelievably lucky to have them in my life#i feel so lucky to have them love me... and to always reach out to me to remind me of that#ill love them till the day i die ill always remain completely faithful and devoted to them both#they make me the happiest man in the world and because of them i feel like life has at least some meaning to it#they make me happy to just exist rn#i just hope one day i can really run into their arms and be embraced by them both#and we can live the rest of our lives happy and in love making music together#recently while thinking of them ive cried a lot more than usual#about how badly i need them always and how theyre mine and im theirs... how we were made for eachother#how the 3 of us were always meant for eachother and only eachother#i can feel it. that day i saw them i knew it was fate that brought me to them#i felt i had been waiting my whole life to find them and that they had been waiting for me too#i knew that moment would change my life forever#and it really did yknow#because of them i learned what love is and got to experience what romantic love FEELS like#i just love them so so so much more than any words could ever begin to describe#id trade my life for them i would do ANYTHING and everything for them both#i love them... i love them i love them my entire heart / mind / body / soul belongs to them#i give them my everything and they give me everything they are in return
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September is either gonna be the break i need or it'll break me
#we're moving offices and the new one isnt ready yet but we need to be out of our current office by september#and i still dont know whats happening with me#so. i might have a break. i might need to find another job for that time#cause it could be a few months before our new office is ready.#im thinking of maybe trying to stream more and do commissions and stuff to make some money#i hope i know whats going on soon so i can make plans#i really dont want to look for another job in the interim i hate job hunting no one evrr hires me and rhen i have to get used to a whole new#place. and#thats.hard#i was thinking it wasnt worth seeking out a professional autism diagnosis but. with my vision alone since im.not legally blind i dont#dont qualify for the disability support pension#but if i had an explanation for why i cant really work more than 15 hours a week mentally...#maybe ill qualify. and maybe theyll consider adhd too. though i think that needs to be under management for a while first#anyway.#AAAAAAAA#so much is happrning man oh my god#im so#ive been holdikg on to any bit of happiness ive had this week#like finding a 2 litre bottle of solo#i cant take one more bad thing
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@lady-merian Sorry for replying in post but....KNOW HIM??!?! YEAH I KNOW HIM!!!!
He is literally one of my favourite authors. The way I SCREAMED when after two or so years of silence we heard from him again (with relief that he was all right).
I strive to match his chaotic writing style, his balance of emotional beats and ridiculous humour, the way he looks at his plot and goes "actually, we need more threads," the way he blends genres of portal and time travel and gaslamp fantasy and westerns and and and.....and also the way he shows his love for literary mythos (he has done his RESEARCH) with not just fairy tales and myths but also childrens lit and gothic fiction (the jekyll and hyde short story!!! the hints of dracula we're going to get in the next crockett and crane book).
Seriously, I love how he will make you cry with laughter and then actually just cry, but also how despite how heavy his books can get plot-wise, there's such a thread of lightness and fun even during the darker moments. Also absolutely obsessed with how all his characters will commit theft, arson, crimes against the time stream continuum and multiverse, and still believe they're the most sane of their group.
Sorry, this got a little rambly but I really love KRS.
#maybe im overhyping the books but i dont think what i said above was exaggeration#but seriously i will never understand how krs manages to just....throw together literally dozens of plot threads#without making us go too crazy? except we absolutely do later on?#krs isn't for everyone obviously but his books do have EVERYTHING from mystery to romance to fractured something to lots of refs#but the thing that i really just most love about his books is how chaotic they are but how....well cared for they seem at the same time#they read like someone hyped on steroids wrote them but there's such careful planning like the combo....#but i dont know its been a while since ive read them and i really do have to reread so i can get at hare and hatter#aaaand rambling in the tags again XDDD#anyway happy to find a fellow krs fan and pardon the lack of replying#as you know i don't do likes/replies cause main blog hiding shenanigans >:)#fandom spamdom#note's nonsense#the afterverse#oh edit! I should mention you dont need to reply to this XD i just latch at anything that lets me ramble about an interest
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One day i will not be obsessed with the cr/amp twins. Maybe i will like it a normal amount. Or maybe not even like it at all one day. I intertwined that show too deeply with my identity. Generally when I am super hyperfixated on something, i am using it as escapism from thinking about my real life.
#like to me 2023 is just mass escapism via an obscure cartoon and internet addiction. kind of sad.#2022 was awful though so 2023 is a mass improvement but damn#some parts of myself looove the show. others parts hate it for what it represents in my life.#i also should stop using tumblr/my phone or at least limit my usage. but. one day at a time#escapism is just nice in general#txt#not in the longrun but it feels so great in the moment being immersed in something that isnt your real life#when your current real life sucks ass but feel too scared to make those big changes that are essential#to you being happy and stable in the long run#easier to forget your real life and just watch shitty cartoons. idk. i shouldn't even be blogging this stuff publicly lol#like i am genuinely not well. i am a benign lolcow.#who overshares and tbh i never even expected this blog to even get followers o.o so now im like#maybe i should stop. i dont know. find better outlets. lol#maybe try to connect with my realworld. my brain desperately doesn't want to leave the fantasy escapism world it created though#i feel like an age regressed loser and idk I want to shape up so badly#im 24 i should be way more ahead than this yknow. i just stagnated in 2023. because 2021-2022 was so awful#idk its complicated man#like 2023 was needed. but it is such a hazy blur. it feels so unreal. we are still in 2023 and it already feels so far away#i feel i need to try to change my life and priorities in 2024. i just have no roadmap. no people to ask..#i have to teach myself on my own. ill probably make a lot of mistakes but thats okay#my next goal is to try a new job even though it scares the everliving shit out of me#i accepted i wont be able to drive safely so I need to carefully plan. i need to be okay with taking risks. i need too.#i need to work on my tardiness social skills and my appearance so I can get a new job too without insta rejection#i dont know. i want to prove my family wrong too and have good things. good mental health. financially stable. takes care of herself.#ik spite is a shitty motivator. but i just wanna prove it to myself. that I am capable of m#okay too many tags smh. gonna stop here
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i can’t even escape the eddie x reader shit in the lucas tag. that entire tag is flooded with content that literally doesn’t even feature lucas. head in my hands crying acreaming
#i wanna see other people’s interpretations of lucas’ character so badly#it’s all other content or people deciding stranger things is the most horrific representation for minorities ever#there are problems with it but you can really tell that some people aren’t looking far enough into the actual details of the show and take#it very surface level#and the story isn’t over. they aren’t going to suffer forever and never find happiness like it’s confirmed st is gonna have a happy ending#for our characters#i think sometimes people are looking at the cast as just minorities and not actual developing characters y’know#yes lucas is a black man and experienced racism and it isn’t being handled as well as it could be but stuff like him joining basketball#wasn’t about him being a stereotype. I’ve yet to read lucas on the line but I’m pretty certain he joined basketball because conforming to#stereotypes present in the 80’s was the only way for him to gain popularity and at the end of the season he decides it isn’t what he really#wants#and will isn’t the horrible gay rep they say he is because his story isn’t finished yet either#he IS going to end up with mike. he is going to have a hero arc and finally get to be happy#the show needs to be criticized for the way it handled billy and jason and brenner for sure#but our minority characters are more than just minorities and it feels like that’s just what people see instead of reading into them more#we can criticize media without it automatically being the worst show on the planet and making seem like enjoying it makes you a horrible#person#sorry for the rant it’s just frustrating how much of lucas’ character is being used to hate stranger things rather than having people look#at lucas as a character as well as a minority#people have every right to be angry but dumbing lucas down to just being a stereotype erases his character and his struggles#erica is definitely written as stereotypical but they’re also starting to expand on her character in season 4 and i think that’ll continue#in season 5. the closer she gets to being a central character the more we learn about her and i hope the duffers listen to what people have#been saying and continue to give her depth#im open to being told if/why this is a bad take though
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...
#took myself out for like 3 hrs today 😔#was going to go to this hort club work party to hang at the greenhouses & get scholarship hours but idk i didnt really feel like it after i#got a cramp just as i was about to leave#so i went to a nearby thrift shop & got a shirt hat & pair of socks#then to another thrift shop near campus & like the greek housing & got some earings socks again & a flannel#and most of that will be used for my internship#all of that cost a little over $10 total hehehe#and then i walked to campus to get some cash & scan/print my id & stuff for the internship#only to realize that i can't use my printing funds bc my fafsa isnt in yet & ive been charged a late fee & they blocked some stuff.......#which made me soooo happy :)))#but anyways im home now & im gonna have a snack & make dinner & clean & do whatever else that needs to be done later#dl#also...i texted my mom about the fafsa last night to get it out of the way bc my sis wasnt able to find the taxes in my moms apt....bc my#mom isnt organized at all so i did & then did a bunch of things to not think about it#and she called both my sis & i this morning & both of us didnt answer#but i thought she was calling me to like yell at me about the text or something#only for her to message us both in a gc to say that she just needed to know if we were ok but apparently she got a call#saying that one of us had been kidnapped & that they wanted money lol & we were like were ok 😬#but it left us super confused & she just didnt answer after we reassured her like....ok then moving along#now im just waiting to see if she'll send me what i need......#my sis said i shouldve given her monday as the deadline but i didnt want my text to seem so demanding....#all of this is so complicated#i feel lonely lol....like my best friend is here but shes so busy w grad school#and ive spoken w my girls a bit but its not the same.....#felt so shitty about the internship yesterday & i really dont have the will to live#everything makes me feel like giving up
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i've been less shy lately so damn i realized how. idk how to say it. wait
#🌙.vents#bcs okay during my shift for my class' booth i rlly helped quite a lot w my classmates in my shift too n yeah others too#i helped the lower school kids that visited hehe n then even a parent n yeah n not to mention my classmates too in general. yh#n to my classmate i was like. 'hey btw i like your mcr shirt' n i said that for my twin as well n. wow. yeah. i really did that woah#n then for my friend apollo n i helped out w their booth too. n i helped like two people for my shift for our (optional) fair committee n#yeah the long one w the discrepancies damn n we even talked a bit while waiting n all n then said hi to a lot of my old friends from back i#middle school. thinking abt it makes me want to cry actually it makes me so happy right now bcs like#my longest friend ever we rarely see or even talk but we're friends n we spent like the whole evening together w other friends#n. personally it just. aghhh i don't know it makes me happy when i can be like.. a friend for others? someone you can hug n then#someone you can open up to someone you know will listen someone you know won't judge you someone you. yeah#n i really mean it i don't know how to put it any other way because i just can't not be sincere about how i love n it hurts bcs#i don't want to be sad. i hate feeling tired. n that's so human n everyone feels sad n tired but#i'm so torn between being kind to myself n dehumanizing myself at the same time. that helplessness like you know better but you just can't.#ah yeah. not only that longest friend but also my longest friend in my school who moved for this sy for. yeah#used to talk n see each other everyday at school n we're third cousins actually n knew years after we were friends.#oh i'm crying again.. no. no i'll push that out of my head wait.. aa sorry i'm sharing my life story 💀 n i know it's because i'm lonely n#you see i just. i just can't. i know i should reach out but i can't & i wouldn't because everyone else have their struggles too#but i can't do.. this on my own but i want to be the one to help others. i notice too much i just need to shut it out somehow#ah yeah wait. other friends too :^) n i often wonder what others think of me. what i mean to them. how they see me#we're all human we all think n not everyone is so self-aware or introspective but. i find it all interesting nonetheless#i would share my own thoughts freely if one would ask. & my own curiosity n willingness to listen is endless#ah but.. nah no i won't entertain that line of thought any further. not sure if i already wrote this to myself today but yk the#i think. when i can really be free n all. i'm good w vulnerable moments i'm good in social situations. i can read them well. n i know what#to do. technically at least. mostly. not always bcs anxiety rlly sucks too n goddamn on the other hand i'm honestly insecure if i'm too#serious at times? like i take life seriously honestly but not like. in a boring way or wtvr i just really value life#most of this is just idle musing i think i've been here in my seat for hours. oh how the time flies huh? midnight is nearing & the tears#in my eyes are drying up. n i just wish that in this moment that time would wait and stop.#sorry i'm not trying to be poetic okay with an unintentional rhyme i'm just writing my thoughts fuck#nah i thought about this earlier n now i'm at a loss for words again. it's sunday n i'm still to tired to reply to the rest of my friends#i'm so sleepy i think i'll write a bit n sleep soon. calmed down after writing that last tag. i'll rest n do more tomorrow.
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myowndarkway
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chawlaband
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bluemoonattensation
Untitled