#we need to go back to physically buying albums

[vvh0adie]

Black History Fact: Scammy’s Edition

In the entire history of the Grammy’s (66 shows) only 11 Black artists have won Album of the Year. And only 3 of those have been Black women. And only 1 hip-hop/rap album has won that category.

We have yet to see Beyonce, Solange, Usher, Mariah, Anita, Missy, Mary J, Toni, TLC, Janet, Rihanna.

And we will never see the likes of Luther Vandross, Prince, Lisa Left Eye, and many more.

Every modern music genre is made by us and yet only 11 Black people, specifically African American, have won and most of them only have 1 AOTY.

Stevie Wonder is the only black person to have 3, surpassed by 2024’s AOTY winner.

It’s very clear what’s going on…

I understand why Kanye pissed on that $15/30 trophy

I am mind blown. 66 years, 11 artists and that’s taking in consideration that everything before and during Jim Crow was an era of not even allowing Black people at these awards. So as always white folks have had a step ahead cause Duke Ellington, Ma Rainey and Cab Calloway would have smoked back then.

Being Black is a highly specific level of Surrealism.

[mioons]

“how could my day be bad when i’m with you.”

pairing. enhypen ot7 x fem. reader (hcs)

genre. fluff, est. relationship wc. 928 warnings. skinship, mentions of wedding, petnames, swearing

— enhypen as cute things that couples do. extra. guys idk why this took me sooo long to write like the thinking put into this is insane.

LEE HEESEUNG — sharing wired earpieces

it could be on the way to school. or on the way to that cafe you wanted to go to since forever. lee heeseung thinks he wants to somehow be connected to you at all times, even when you two were on the train or the bus; not just physically but emotionally too.

this is why he feels headphones aren’t his thing; because he can’t share it with you.

he’d put on his favourite album on repeat. he loves sharing his favourite things with his favourite person. his favourite pretty girl.

holding out one side of the earpiece, he’d gesture you to take it, “put it on,” he’d request.

you two sat on the train in silence but your hearts were connected, beating in tandem.

SIM JAEYUN — wearing his hoodie

he’d want you to have a piece of him everytime you two were not together. needed you to wear something that said that you were his. you were his beloved girlfriend whom he cherished so much.

honestly even if you weren’t apart he’d still make you wear his hoodie, claiming that it looked better on you than him. he likes the fact that the sleeves cover your entire arm, leaving only the tips on your fingernails to be seen; the way it almost reaches your knees—fucking adorable he thinks.

“by the way here’s your hoodie, i think i forgot to return it the other day,” you’d say as you passed him his hoodie.

he purposely didn’t ask for it back because he wanted you to have it. forever.

“no no darling, you keep it m’kay? everytime we have movie nights on fridays make sure to wear it.”

PARK JONGSEONG — helping you with your shoes + carrying you

tying your shoelaces? no no don’t worry, he’ll help you. slipping on heels your for you? he’d be down on his knees to help you with it. putting on socks? “of course my love, which pair of socks?”

don’t even move an inch, he’ll take care of you.

“you too tired to walk pretty?” he’d ask as he caressed the small of your back with his thumb, rubbing circles on it.

you’d shake your head, “no it’s okay seongie, i got it.”

you actually didn’t ‘got it’. every few minutes while you two were walking along the bustling street, you’d take a short pause to adjust your shoe.

“baby, cmon don’t be stubborn, let me help you,” he’d sigh and wrap his arms around your hip, lifting you off the ground, gaining a small yelp sound from you. “seongie you don’t need to carry me!”

“i know princess; i just want to carry you.”

PARK SUNGHOON — breakfast, be in bed or in public

the moment sunghoon found out you don’t eat breakfast he got worried but he didn’t say anything.

“yn, can we go out for breakfast tomorrow?” he’d ask while you two were calling on the phone.

“mm, sure, why not? tomorrow 9am?” you asked.

“mhm.”

he’d make sure you were well fed, made sure you had enough energy to sustain throughout the day. he wouldn’t want to see his pretty girl collapsing in school or when she’s out.

on days where you two stayed over at each others house, he’d wake up early just to cook something for you; to surprise you with breakfast in bed.

“good morning darling, eat up m’kay?”

KIM SUNOO — matching items

it started when you saw a couple bracelet on instagram and you decided to buy it for sunoo and yourself.

“what’s this for?” he’d ask as you helped you put on the bracelet.

“it’s matching bracelets, you don’t want it?” you pouted and looked up at him through your lashes

he sighed and chuckled, “no no baby, i just didn’t know you liked matching things.”

from then on he’d buy you guys anything matching. matching shirts? don’t worry he’d customise two just for the both of you. matching phone charms? he’d go and find one online for the both of you.

one day he’d get matching wedding rings too.

YANG JUNGWON — playing with your hair

if he’s not clinging onto your hand, he’s playing with your hair.

he likes the way your hair is so so smooth and he can just thread his fingers through it, how it smells like vanilla and lavender.

on some days he’d ask you, “hey darling, could i braid your hair please?”

of course you’d say yes. you loved the feeling of his fingers gently massaging your scalp as he styled your hair. even if your hair was short or long, he’d still play with it.

he’d pick flowers for you just to insert them into your hair. yang jungwon thinks you look like a bride like that.

NISHIMURA RIKI — love letters

he loves writing love letters to you. he’d spend hours and hours drafting and writing them. just for you.

when he’s not around to pass it to you, sometimes he’d send it to you via text to make sure you still get your daily love letters; life is too short for him not to send paragraphs professing his love for you.

his friends would ask him why he wouldn’t just want to tell you straight up and chose to write letters. to be honest he’s shy and too scared to say everything to you upfront, he’d rather just write for you so you could keep it forever with the other stacks of love letters he wrote you.

don’t worry, he’s already wrote his wedding vows.

luvlyhee 2024 :: taglist open ,, send an ask to be added

tl: @en-gelic @dioll @luv-sims @minjubie

[jikookuntold]

The Untold Truth of "Letter"

Back in 2021, 2022, or even early 2023, if someone had told me about the possibility of JK having vocal credits in Jimin's solo album, I would have called it wishful thinking at best. But it happened, and we got the song "Letter" (AKA Dear Army) as a hidden track in Jimin's first solo album, FACE, with back vocals by JK, and his name written invisibly in the album book.

The perfectly matching vocals of Jikook, with the heartfelt lyrics and soft instruments, undoubtedly made one of the most beautiful songs of the year, which could break many records for Jimin and his album if it was released in the streaming and buying services. The release of Letter as a hidden track in Jimin's solo album raised many questions and debates among Jikookers, and as someone who barely scrolls in the Tumblr app, I know I'm a bit late for the party, but I may or may not have some notes to add to the already made discussions. FYI, these are my analytic views and speculations, I am fully aware that this song has been named "Dear Army", and Jimin called it a "Fan song" on different occasions. So, I do not intend to ignore that and diminish Jimin's expression of love for his fans.

What's a Hidden Track?

Before getting into "Letter", we need to understand what a hidden track is. Well, the definition is pretty clear; When a song is not listed in the official track-list of a music album, but it exists in (some versions of) the physical printed CD, cassette, or LP, it's called a "hidden track". 

Hidden Tracks of BTS

There are several techniques and reasons to "hide" a track in an album, but in the case of BTS discography, the hidden tracks exist for a specific reason, and I'm going to explain it with the only examples we have. The debut album (2013) and Love Yourself: Her (2017), are the only BTS albums including hidden tracks, and if we ignore the skits in each album, "Path" and "Sea" are the only hidden songs BTS ever released. So, these two songs must have something(s) in common and different from the other BTS tracks that caused them to end up as a hidden track. To find that common factor, we need to check their lyrics first:

Path

[Intro: RM] Yeah, wassup? You know, time flows like stars (Check it, check, check, check, check it out) [Verse 1: RM] I started from imitating Eminem, Garion, Epik High To writing my own raps Now I see that I’m already at Hongdae My lyrics back then were all (****) Bossy But we dunno, we dunno When I dreamed without anyone to stop me Reality tied me down and trapped me inside Oh, my youth trapped me My hot heart lost to my cold mind (Damn) As I blindly told myself my decision was right I don’t know whether it’s an angel or a devil, but it says to me "Do you really have any plans to rap properly?" (Yes or no?) I didn’t have more time to hesitate and didn’t want to be stupid So I came here and three years passed by Some say art is long, life is short But for now, art is life Life is sports, just do it, uh [Chorus] If I had chosen a different path, would have I been any different? If I stopped and looked back (Oh hey ya, hey ya) What will I see at the end of this road? Where you should’ve been standing? (Oh hey ya, hey ya) [Verse 2: Suga, Suga & Jungkook] A long time passed and by 2013, I was a trainee for three years I was a high school student who grew overnight (I became a child) White hair grew from my desires and one by one my many friends (Parted ways with me) I spent my time in Seoul alone without a family (That was my third spring) I thought my worries would disappear with my debut ahead of me I closed my eyes to the present that had nothing to change But the reality was different, even as my family and friends tried to stop me I walked into the tunnels that shed no light on my own I thought I would be alone (Why?) As it turns out, there weren’t seven bare feet but we were wearing the shoe named Bangtan We’ll have to go forward, take one more step, become newer And that’s how I spent my fourth spring in Seoul (Whoa) [Chorus] If I had chosen a different path, would have I been any different? (Hey) If I stopped and looked back (Hey) Oh hey ya, hey ya What will I see at the end of this road? Where you should’ve been standing? (Oh hey ya, hey ya) [Verse 3: J-Hope] 2010, the year I walked towards Seoul! I just loved to dance, and now I’m standing on top of the stage Until then, I overcame many pains and scars to prepare myself I survived with my belief to bend, not break, and ran for three years Let the stars inside my heart shine! Now shine on me differently Write “Bangtan” on the paper world I walk my future with more lights on Give a smile to that far future (Ha, ha)

As you can see, the lyrics are simple and self-explanatory, so I guess we don't need any lyrics analysis, and the description section of the Genius translation I used here, says it all:

“길 (Road/Path) follows the member’s decisions to become idols in the Korean music industry. They recall their different upbringings from listening to hip hop in school to the hard years of being trainees under BigHit Entertainment. BTS pose the questions of how their lives would be different if they made a different decision, and they ask themselves what the future entails. A very introspective track about their career for a debut album, BTS display their thought processes as they enter the music scene.”

Sea

[Intro: Jungkook] Oh, ah, yeah [Verse 1: Rap Monster] I just started walking and ended up at the sea I'm looking at the coast from here There's endless sand and the rough wind I'm still looking at a desert I wanted to have the sea so I swallowed you up But I'm even thirstier than before Is what I know really the ocean? Or a blue desert? [Refrain: J-Hope] I don't know, I don't know If I'm feeling the waves right now, yeah I don't know, I don't know If I'm being chased by the sand wind, yeah I don't know, I don't know Is this the sea or the desert? Is this hope or despair? Is this real or fake? Shit [Pre-Chorus: J-Hope] I know, I know, my hardship right now I know, I know, I'll overcome I know, I know, open me up It's the place I can rely on Think positive, I'm swallowing my dry spit Even if I'm nervous, even if I'm in a desert I'm in the beautiful Namib Desert [Chorus: Jimin, Jin] Where there is hope, there is always trial (4) [Hook: V, Jungkook] Where there is hope You know, you know You know, yeah yeah (2) [Verse 2: Suga] I thought this was the ocean but it's a desert A medium-sized, ordinary idol was my second name Countless people get cut from broadcast But someone's empty spot is our dream They say some of these kids can't make it cuz their agency is too small I know, I know, I know too Times when the seven of us had to sleep in one room With foolish hope that tomorrow will be different before we fell asleep We saw the mirage in the desert but we couldn't grasp it Praying that we'll remain in this desert till the end Praying that this isn't truly our reality [Verse 3: Suga] In the end, we reached the mirage and it became our reality The scary desert became the ocean with our blood, sweat and tears But why is there this fear in between the happiness? Because we know too well that this place is really a desert [Refrain 2: Suga] I don't wanna cry I don't wanna rest No, who cares if we rest a little? No no no I don't wanna lose It's always a desert I told you everything Then I'll just be more depressed [Chorus: Jungkook, V] Where there is hope, there is always trial (2) [Hook: Jimin, Jin] Where there is hope You know, you know You know, yeah yeah (2) [Bridge: Rap Monster] Ocean, desert, the world Everything, the same thing Different name I see ocean, l see desert I see the world Everything's, the same thing With a different name It's life again [Hook: V, Jungkook] Where there is hope You know you know you know yeah (2) [Chorus] Where there is hope, there is always trial

Compared to “Path”, we have more innuendos and metaphors in “Sea” because of Namjoon’s lyricism (it was supposed to be in his mixtape at first), but as the description says:

"It discusses the hardships BTS has experienced since debut, particularly struggling to compete with groups from other, larger agencies. In this song, BTS reflects on these hardships, fearing that their global fame and success could leave as suddenly as it arrived."

Common Denominator

These two lyrics have one big thing in common, and it's the topic they are discussing. They talk about the members' struggles, fears, hopes, and dreams career-wise. I was thinking maybe these issues are something they can only share with their longtime fans, not the general public, therefore, they decided to release them as hidden tracks in the physical album for their real fans who buy them, something like the difference between Weverse and Instagram, I guess? Then I realized that’s something Namjoon has mentioned himself to Billboard Magazine, in LYS: Her interview:

And if fans are so lucky to own the physical album, they’ll hear two hidden tracks at the very. Why keep them secretive?

"I think they’re hidden because you have to be a real fan of BTS to understand them. Otherwise, you won’t. Otherwise, you’d like to be, “Why are they feeling so confused about things? They’re good?!? They’re No. 1 somewhere, they have so much stuff, why are they worried?” People always talk about that. But if you are a true fan of BTS and you buy the album and you listen to the hidden track — if you are an Army and we spent time together from 2013, 2014 — they could understand. It’s kind of more special, more closer, to our true hearts"

What about "Letter"?

In conclusion, hidden tracks for BTS, are something between them and their real fans who know about the path they have wended, therefore they can open up to them through lyrics and talk about their fears and struggles and ambitions without being judged or misunderstood. Also, we have to debunk some of the misconceptions going around (especially after the release of FACE) about hidden tracks. For example, some claimed that Letter is made for fans because hidden tracks are always supposed to be “gifts” for fans. This claim obviously can’t be true when you are able to listen to a hidden track legally, only by purchasing the physical album. Gifts are supposed to be free of charge, like Promise, Still with You, Christmas Love, My You, and so on. 

Then what about “Letter”? Why this song is a hidden track in Jimin’s first solo album? Did Jimin want to say something by hiding this track in FACE? To answer this questions, we need to pay attention to the lyrics and how the song was made:

 [Verse 1] What should I say? And how should I convey it? I'm really not getting my words right I know it sounds so clichéd So that it's not taken lightly Let me say it to you properly [Chorus] I say oh-oh, I hope you can be happier You, who stretched your hand out to me whenever I fell I say oh-oh, I'll hold it now (I'll hold it) So when you feel like crying, you won’t fall [Verse 2] After all this time has passed Will we still be the same? Just like we were when we first met, hmm-mmm If we are together, even the desert could turn to a sеa Just like how we were then, oh-hoo-ooh [Chorus] I say oh-oh, I really hope that it’ll last forever You, who felt like a warm spring to me in a cold winter I say oh-oh, I'll always cherish it All those moments between you and I [Refrain] Baby, don't leave Just stay by my side, yeah To you, who see me bigger than what my little self is (to you) So that I can give as much as I’ve received (oh-oh) So that I can keep my word (oh-oh) Don't worry, just stay by my side, yeah (Yeah) We don’t know what the future holds (holds, yeah) And that’s scary and makes us afraid (oh-oh) But don’t forget that we’re always together (don't forget) [Outro] I know it sounds so clichéd So that it's not taken lightly Let me say it to you properly

The Feelings

If you compare these lyrics to "Path" and "Sea" you can clearly see the differences, and except a mention of "sea and desert" there's nothing in common between them. Letter is not a monologue about career issues, it's a romantic song. These lyrics are expressing the feelings and addresses them to an audience and appreciates them. But how was this song made?

According to Jimin, at first, SMF Pt2 was supposed to be the last track of his solo album, but in their YTC promotion and recording era when they announced that they have planned to put their group activities on rest, Jimin decided to express his feelings of the moment through a letter, and turned that letter to song lyrics. Producers liked the song so much and decided to add it in his album and that’s how “Letter” was born. Although Jimin didn’t explain much about those “feelings” and left the conclusion to us like a true artist, we all know that this song is totally different from the other tracks in his album.

All the tracks of FACE are dark and sad. Jimin’s first album is all about himself, and he talks about the painful emotions he had as an artist and a person in the past few year, but with “Letter” there is a different story. Recording Academy admitted this and wrote:

“Though the EP is technically only six songs, the physical version has an additional “hidden” track called “Letter”. The song provides an intimacy that stands out from the other FACE tracks, capturing Jimin in his best form. The lyrics are poignant and vulnerable as Jimin pleads for someone to stay (“Baby, don't leave Just stay by my side, yeah”) The biggest surprise though? Fellow BTS member Jungkook contributes vocals to harmonize with Jimin.”  

A Fan Song?

“Letter” being a “Fan Song” is a stated fact by Park Jimin himself, and there can’t be any arguments about it, but that fact doesn’t mean Jimin made this song with the thought of fans in his head and all about them. In one of my old posts, I said that a faceless crowd can’t be the muse for a romantic song, especially when that song has a "standing-out intimacy".

Another reason for calling "Letter" a fan song, is the fact that it starts at 6:13 of the album, the numbers that remind us of the debut date of BTS. We can't call this a coincidence because we know how thoughtful and punctual Jimin is. But don’t forget that 6.13 is more of BTS time than ARMY time. So, as much as you call this track a song for fans, it can be called a song for his fellow BTS members.

Why JK?

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room. Why JK was a part of this song? Did it mean something for Jimin, or did he have no other options? Jimin said that FACE is an album about himself, and he didn’t feel right about featuring other artists in it, that’s why he decided to record SMF Pt2 all alone and do all the rap parts by himself instead of featuring Yoongi in it. He collaborated with several producers and songwriters (including Namjoon), but there was no featured artist in the whole album.

About the background vocals of the album, he did most parts by himself, and for the other parts, he worked with artists who already had credits in his album, such as BLVSH, Sumin, and James Keys. But JK didn’t have anything to do with Jimin’s album. Jimin was fully capable of doing the background vocals of Letter by himself, as he did for the first parts of the song. Jimin never really explained why he decided to have JK in the song, other than saying their voices match. This known fact doesn’t give us much information, but we can have our speculations. 

Closer Than This?

Another thing that questions the idea of “Letter" being inspired by fans, is the existence of “Closer Than This”. The newest release of Jimin is the exact definition of a fan song, the lyrics are straightforward and directly address the fans and leave no place for speculation. If CTT is the result of Jimin getting inspired by his fans, then “Letter” must be inspired by something different because these two songs are not comparable. 

The difference becomes more obvious when we look at the initial version of the Letter lyrics in Jimin’s drafts. I wonder what the Grammy journalist who called the final lyrics of “Letter” intimate would have said if they read this: 

You hugged me tightly Only you who protected me Hold my hand, hold my hand tightly You who reached out my hand You held out your hand to me

We don’t know what was going on in Jimin’s mind when he wrote these, but we can see that the initial lyrics have been moderated, and the intimate parts, which clearly refer to a person, didn’t end up in the final lyrics. FYI, I’m doing a lyric analysis here, and this is not a complaint or conspiracy theory because Jimin said that he liked the way the final version came out, and it's all that matters.

For Fans, Not About Fans

So far we made it clear that "hidden tracks" are not about fans, they are for fans like any other BTS song, but the hidden tracks are a secret between the artist and the fan, something that only the true and dedicated fan can understand, and this applies to Jimin's "Letter".

Jimin gave up on many records for streaming and buying by releasing this song as a hidden track in his album. So, there must be an important message in this song that he wanted to convey to the true fans. He did his share of being thankful to fans by CTT, and I don't think he needed to do it twice in a year.

Maybe you prefer to think Jimin just made this song for ARMY and hid it in the album as a surprise or because it didn’t match with the whole concept of FACE, and you might not be wrong about any of that. But, don’t forget that he didn’t explain anything about this, and we both are just making assumtions.

Yes, maybe Jimin didn't acknowledge JK being a part of Letter in his promotion era, but JK did everything he could for his share. A few hours before the release of FACE, he started a live and played a part of it with his guitar, and months later, he watched Jimin's live performance for Festa while harmonizing with it and reminding us that he knows the lyrics very well. In Jimin's documentary he was very supportive and even teased for a live performance with him in future.

Why Just Jikook?

Jimin and Jungkook are not the only members of BTS. But I don't know why everytime Jimin or JK do something with romantic undertones, the fans (OT7 ARMYs, to be more specific) immediately try to label it as "About ARMY". I usually don't see this energy with the other five members. I'm perfectly sure they are also very grateful for ARMY, they have released several songs about them, and they would have loved to collaborate in a fan song with Jimin, too.

Then why Jimin only included JK in Letter? Why he wanted to sing for "ARMY" with him? Unless we assume Jimin's gratitude towards ARMY has connections with JK, and I don’t even want to bring up 2019 "I am army" jokes. But "Letter" is the song the most optimistic Jikookers didn't expect to exist. You may try to ignore and normalize it, but you can't deny the fact that Letter proved Jikook's unbreakable connection as two harmonic colleages, long time friends, and inseparable souls.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hi love, I was wondering if I could have HC or comfort fic with the sleep token boys ❤️ I’m going through a breakup and would love to read something sweet

Know that you are so loved! Sending you the biggest hug🫂

Vessel

He’s a king of little talking but big gestures. Words are overrated as it is. You can speak them but don’t mean them. Plus, he doesn’t need to hear you say it, he can see that you’re not feeling the best. That something is bothering you so to little things he turns. “Hey”, a little knock on the bedroom door makes you turn towards the sound. And there stands Vessel. Flowers beneath his arm, balancing a tray with grilled cheese and canned tomato soup.

He carefully places everything on the nightstand before turning to you. “I didn’t burn the house down making that”, Vess nods patting his own shoulder, “So you got to try it, let me know if I improved”. You know that his grilled cheese has always been amazing but it’s his way of making sure you eat. So you try to not fight it even if it’s hard.

He’s so fucking patient too. You could be stirring that soup around for a hot minute and he would not rush you. Encourage a spoonful or two along the way but let you take your own time.

He also talks so much in moments like this. It’s his way of drowning out the noises in your head. “You know I saw this sign today that said five bucks to cuddle a baby cow”, he shakes his head, “I had to talk myself out of it but we could always go back there together”.

And then because he loves physical touch - that’s how he shows love. He would wrap you up in a blanket and then cuddle you the whole night. Softly humming random bits from the albums or new tunes he’s been working on. Letting you slowly run your fingers up and down his lower stomach. Kissing your forehead every time you sigh.

iii

He is all fun and games until his baby is not feeling well. Then all shit is packed up. Unless of course, he can see that he could slowly crack away the clouds with his stupid jokes.

“Tell me”, there’s no what’s wrong questions with him. As he reaches for you. “Just… I don’t know how to even describe it”, you huff, slowly pulling at the roots of your hair. “Then don’t”, iii is quick to pull your hands closer to his lips kissing them each. “How does a bath with those bath bombs we got yesterday sound like?”, he carefully brushes strands of hair away from your face, watching you nod.

And that’s how you end up pressing against his chest, sitting in between his legs, slowly running your fingers up and down his thighs. He’s playing with your hair, twisting strands around his fingers. “Your fingers are turning into prunes”, he chuckles lifting your palms, “Should we get out?”. But you shake your head and so he doesn’t make a move. Only wrap an arm across your chest, knowing that the pressure and weight of it will slowly let the anxiety ease.

“I feel like eating chilly oil noodles”, you mutter after a while. “Eggs and lots of cheese?”, he asks with a hum. You turn to him slightly with a nod. Iii simply smiles at you, leaning in to kiss you, “Say no more baby, I got you”.

ii

I think the roles are rarely reversed. It’s mostly you weathering his storms but man when shit hits your fan and he needs to watch you crumble, that messes him up. Because watching the main source of light in his life slowly fading. That’s terrifying. So ridden in pure panic he tries to do his best to make it better.

So he’s waking up early, carefully slipping out of bed to hit the shops. Buying fresh fruits and pastries. Grabbing you your favorite drink from the coffee shop you told him about. Fuck it man even stands in a book section reading the backs of silly romances and whatnot, because hey if that might bring a smile to your face - he’s doing it.

He tries to appear as calm as possible not wanting this to turn into you worrying about him instead. But he watches your every move like there is no tomorrow. “Are we putting on another film or do you want to read?”, he asks after a while of you both just rotting beneath the blankets downstairs. You don’t answer him but snuggle deeper into his chest.

He lets you run your fingers through his tattoos. If you want he would run you through all the back stories of them even if you know them by heart by now. “Is your fave still this one?”, ii point to his lower stomach and hips, and you give him a lazy nod, “Nothing beats that”, you mutter. “Should put it on full display then”, he quickly yanks his hoodie over his head giving you a glorious view of his bare chest making you chuckle slightly and his heart ease along the way.

iv

I think he would also love to just remind you of the things you love and the things that make you feel better. You like morning/evening walks? Even if you don’t feel like going he would find a way to drag you out of the house. “I promise to buy you ice cream as a reward”, he flicks your nose, “and I promise you, you will feel so much better”. So he drives to a nice park. Holds your hand the entire time you walk. Watching you slowly start to enjoy the activity. You stop by to watch a sunset or a sunrise depending on the time you walk. And it’s one of those yeah I am alive moments. Ivy has an arm warped around you. Watching you watch the nature surrounding you both.

He would offer to take you to little places you love. You love clothes shopping? He would take you. You like browsing random stores? Say no more. He would come with you and smell all the candles. “Get that too, that in the living room”, he mutters adding yet another candle into the cart.

“I remember you said that you wanted to try pottery painting so I got us a kit”, he mutters, walking in with boxes of stuff. You can’t believe that he would remember something so random. And it’s just take-out boxes, and a bottle of nice wine as you both paint and doodle on the plates Iv picked out. It’s quality time over anything and with every stolen glance he can see the way you slowly start to flicker with happiness again.

[roo-bastmoon]

Battle Plans for the next 4 days...

Guys, we're doing really, really well with only one version. But now is the time when lots of folks get back into work routines, or get complacent with their playlists due to fatigue.

We have GOT to buy from all stores, in addition to iTunes. And we need to BUY THE TRACKS SEPARATELY for BB200. If you need help with purchasing, JiminFunds is open. If you don't need help, please donate to JiminFunds.

If you order physicals online now, they will only ship in time for Week 2. So for now, you need to concentrate on either buying in person or digital sales. Don't neglect these stores, and remember that the BTS store has THREE DIGITAL ALBUM VERSIONS!

We have also GOT to diversify streaming platforms in addition to Spotify. I get it's a tough economy, but free trial premium streams count and you can go make a free account right now on Apple Music, Amazon Music, Deezer, Qobuz, Tidal and Pandora. We HAVE to use YouTube and YouTube Music. There's no way around it; it's necessary for charting. There's no reason not to take advantage of a free trial-- they remind you to cancel before you get charged!

Later on today we are going to get remixes and we MUST use them correctly. Stream the album top to bottom. Then the remixes. Use Face and other songs as filler. Switch accounts and keep going.

We also need to vote. This is the last chance for Jimin to get a Countdown trophy before they close up shop for the Olympics and, surprisingly, the competition is super high (because we don't have tons of versions). So every single vote matters now. Download the Mnet app and just take 1 minute out of your day to vote, please:

My friends, we've done so, so well with our enthusiasm and hard work. So much better than we thought possible. The general public has embraced Who on social media; top playlists are ranking it high in public lists; and even some radio stations are picking it up. Muse is doing so well that the company is actually gonna give us remixes and put in the effort.

Now is time to be focused and precise. No distractions. No bullshit. Stay sharp, puppykitties.

Discourse can come later. Right now, we have a real chance to make history for our boy.

Do it for Jimin.

Love, Roo

[corneliaavenue]

What is Billie saying about Taylor?

There have been a lot of little things over the years

In 2020, when Taylor won the Billboard Woman of the Decade, she talked about all of the new up and coming women in the industry and specifically highlighted Billie because she was winning Woman of the Year that year. First thing Billie says when its her turn, "Yalls speeches were long as fuck!" (note, Taylor's speech was 15 minutes and she does go on to talk nice about Taylor later in her speech)

In 2022, Damon Albarn shaded Taylor saying she didn't write all of her music while simultaneously cheering on Billie and Finneas for writing all of their music. Taylor clapped back in a tweet. Billie then invites Damon out later that year for her Coachella set, where Finneas was overheard saying "Taylor Swift is going to sue us"

In March of this year, Billie talks to Billboard about the act of releasing multiple variants and how wasteful it is. "We live in this day and age where, for some reason, it’s very important to some artists to make all sorts of different vinyl and packaging … which ups the sales and ups the numbers and gets them more money and gets them more" and "some of the biggest artists in the world making f–king 40 different vinyl packages that have a different unique thing just to get you to keep buying more. It’s so wasteful, and it’s irritating to me that we’re still at a point where you care that much about your numbers and you care that much about making money"

Billie's manager has been liking and even retweeting several Taylor hate tweets.

Billie talked about albums being too long on Zane Lowe, but she was talking about her previous album Happier Than Ever when discussing it, so I will only side eye. "I think for that one we just didn’t put that much into it. That’s why there’s 16 songs. Nobody needs that many songs"

Last night, Billie's interview with Stationhead came out where she said that "Doing a 3 hour show.. That's literally psychotic. Nobody wants that. You guys don't want that. I don't want that. I don't even want that as a fan. Even my favorite artists I'm not trying to hear them for 3 hours. That's far too long.

Billie now has multiple versions of her album to purchase including paint splattered, discounted on iTunes to $5, and physical copies discounted at Targets for somehone who thinks its wasteful to make multiple different vinyl packages and it is disingenuous to up her sales and numbers

[bwabys-scenarios]

Hi hi it’s your favorite sleepy fic advisor/Kurapika stan!!! I’m playing hooky to go to the lake today fuck a minimum wage job in a capitalistic hell world heehoo

What do you think Kurapika’s love language(s) is/are? He’s a thoughtful dude, so I feel like gift giving is his time to shine, but at the same time acts of service when you’re overworking yourself- ugh he’s such a sweetheart lich rally the perfect man 😫💗

My own bf just snagged me a record player at a garage sale yesterday after years of having his own record collection and begging me to start one as well. The first thing I did was order Hozier’s new album. I could see Kurapika doing something similar, especially with how they both share an mbti type :’) cozy nights spent listening to vinyl music. He gets a gift that you’d love, not expect, and could enjoy for a long time together. He checks off the Perfect Gift Trifecta every time.

I’m all over the place here, it’s earlier than I normally wake up and my ADHD meds haven’t quite kicked in yet I apologize. Brainstorming with you and helping on Fixer Upper has been the highlight of my summer, seeing ideas we collaborate on come to life in real time is just *chefs kiss*

I gotta pack my bags now before I go but just thought I’d drop in here, pet the cats for me and hang in there, the weather will cool down soon enough!

-K.A.

How Kurapika shows his love:

Acts of service

Kurapika hasn’t always been there for you when you really needed him, meaning now that he is, he would do next to anything for you. He’ll run to the store to grab your favorite snacks when you aren’t feeling well, gently massages all your sore spots, accompanies you on shopping trips.

He wants to do things for you, even if it’s as simple as opening a jar of pickles, he feels so in love when he’s able to do little things that are of service to you.

Gift Giving

Kurapika is a gift giver, through and through. He has trouble holding himself back from buying every little thing that reminds him of you. That keychain with your favorite character on it, those shoes that would go nice with your favorite dress, and flowers of all kinds.

He also enjoys making you gifts, mostly consisting of clothing. He’s really good at sewing, and you taught him to knit, so he’s always making you new dresses that fit you perfectly. He’s weak for a good sundress, and when you’re wearing something he made you it’s hard for him to keep his hands to himself.

Words of Affirmation

Kurapika wants you to know how much he adores you, so compliments and little words of adoration are commonplace in your shared home.

It’s like he can’t go one second without telling you how amazing you are, and how in love with you he is. You’re his angel, his princess, the love of his life. He’ll plant kisses on your neck as he coos about how beautiful you are.

What he wants from his partner:

Physical Touch

As I’ve said before, Kurapika is TOUCH STARVED!! Before you, he hadn’t been held by another person since he was a child, so once he gets a taste of your touch he craves it.

His favorite thing is to lay his head in your lap, face buried in your tummy as you run your fingers through his hair. Kurapika could stay like this forever if you let him.

When he gets you pregnant, all he wants is to nuzzle against your baby bump, leaving kisses against your skin. He loves you so much!

He also enjoys just being held in your arms, with you rubbing soothing circles into his back. Kurapika can be a bit of a clinger once he gets comfortable around you, so he prepared!

Quality Time

Once Kurapika comes around to his feelings for you, all he wants is to spend more and more time with you. He needs you to hold him, to want to do fun things with HIM!

His favorite thing is when you have him sit at the kitchen table while you bake, feeding him bits of frosting or jam. He also likes cuddling up with you on the couch, watching some random movie. He enjoys accompanying anywhere you wish to go, as long as he gets to spend time with you he’s happy!

Words of Affirmation

It may not seem like it, but Kurapika is actually pretty insecure about his body. He struggles with believing you’re attracted to him, even if you’re always heating up when he’s around you.

Praise him, tell him how pretty and handsome he is. He needs to know you find him attractive. There are many other men in your life that he thinks look way better than him, so reassure him that he’s the only one for you. It makes him swoon!

[pyjamaart]

I never needed such help / This is my SOS

(Content warning: self harm) (If you don't have a problem with that, huge Drillman essay under the read more lol)

When I said that I wanted to draw Drillman some more, this really wasn't what I had in mind.

This week, I've been shopping for music on various second hand sites, which made me realize I don't physically own one of my all time favorite albums: "Squaring The Circle" by Sneaker Pimps. I had to change that immediately. (As well as buying like 15 other CDs and vinyls, lol.) As I was listening to it once again, I realized just how much the song "SOS" reminded me of Drillman and his struggles.

If you don't want to look it up, here are some of the lyrics:

"I look much smaller seen from inside out/Far too small to see myself/Down on reflection, cast in hate and in doubt/Flawed and flaws I add myself"

"Oh mirror mirror hanging on the wall/Please just show me someone else/My hopes were low and I got so much so less/Nothing left to save myself"

Listen, this dude got some major problems with his self esteem. He feels like an embarrassment because he was forced into a life he never wanted by his father. Now he seeks revenge on the company that bought his families business, along with him and apparently his bodily autonomy. Think about that for a minute. How fucked would it be if your parents wanted you to be a doctor, but a requirement for that would be to have your hand surgically removed and replaced with a scalpel. That's the exact situation Drillman found himself in.

Now a lot of people probably think "Well why doesn't he just ask Dr. Light to give him a new pair of hands then, if he's this miserable?" This is where we get to one of Drillmans biggest problems: the refusal to ask for help in any way. And even after the finale of the season, why would he go to the Lights for help in the first place? Wasn't it Aki who thought the best way to help him through his problems was hypnotism? And in the process embarrassing him in front of the whole city, ruining the last bit of reputation he may have had? (For real though, that episode is so hard for me to watch. I just feel so so bad for him, since I really struggle with social anxiety myself.)

As the guys from the Youtube channel "The D-Pad" (who reviewed all of the MMFC episodes) fittingly commented: "This would be like fucking Vietnam for him." And they were right. Obviously, Drillman is horrified that Aki would humiliate him like this and lashes out, solidifying his opinion that asking for help is a bad idea.

In that episode, there's this one moment that really stuck with me. At around the 8 minute mark, while Drillman is having a breakdown over the terrible "music" Aki made him perform, there's this one shot where he takes a moment to look at the drills that replaced his hands in frustration. The camera perspective makes it seem as if we are experiencing this brief scene through his eyes. It's actually quite upsetting. (A link to the moment I'm talking about: youtu.be/OC_jdhoeTrE?si=ZPzAXu…)

This is also a perfect moment for me to gush over the voice acting for this scene. Andrew McNee did such a fantastic job of conveying Drillmans distress and anger through his voice. That reminds me, giving him a British accent was honestly such a good decision.

The reason he doesn't talk at all throughout most of his first appearance is probably because the writers wanted to surprise their audience a little. As in, you see this big, imposing construction robot and think "Oh man, what a brute. He probably has a pretty deep voice." And then he actually starts to speak and it's this sophisticated, well-articulated British voice instead. Quite the whiplash.

To get back to the original topic, I'm honestly still upset that they didn't give Drillman a redemption arc at the end of the show. This probably would have happened in season 2, as Mega Man even says at some point "I know deep down your inner bits are good", proving to me that the writers definitely had something in mind regarding Drillmans character arc.

And now that all of that is out of the way, we can finally get into headcanon territory.

You might have seen this image while browsing the tags and asked yourself, "Why is this Mega Man Fully Charged artwork littered with content warnings?" And well, now that you're here and reading this, you probably know why. I can't say I've ever made myself sick with a drawing before. That's a first for me.

My headcanon is, that after the finale of the show, Drillman is just utterly lost. Lord Obsidian, who sought him out specifically because he knew of Drillmans problems and offered him a place to stay and a way to get revenge on the people he thought responsible for his predicament, turned out to be a horribly racist human who was just using him to achieve his own devious goals. After getting his ass kicked by the Lights, the same people who had not only humiliated him in front of the whole city, but who had also left him stuck to his abusive father for an entire day (I bet that ride to the police station was horrible for all the people involved, most of all the police bots who had to hear the Drillmen yell at each other the whole time), Sgt. Night is detained by the police. We don't actually see what happens after that, because that's where the show ends.

I'd like to think that the Lights actually try to talk to the robot masters once everything is over, telling them all the horrible things their so-called "leader" has said and done. And most importantly, what he thinks of robots: That they're nothing but tools to him. That once they had gotten him his Mega key, he would have wiped their minds and turned them into mindless machines.  

I'm guessing none of the robot masters would take these news well, but most of all Drillman. I think that after he ran away from Skyraisers Inc. and fought Mega Man for the first time, he was really relieved to have some place to stay and a new goal, maybe even a robot to look up to. That being Lord Obsidian of course. Who knows what lies he told Drillman and the others? Kinda sad that we never really got to see what the robot masters who stayed with Lord Obsidian did the entire day. When they weren't causing havoc in the city, that is.

None of them seemed really friendly with each other in the finale, now that I think about it. I guess "Obsidians robot sanctuary" wasn't really a great place to stay at after all. But still better than being homeless, like that one maniac living in the forest all by himself. Speaking of Woodman, in my AU, he and Drillman already knew each other at this point. This also reminds me of something I forgot to mention in my last post. While I'd love to see them interact in any way, because they're both my favorite characters, I don't ship them in any way whatsoever. I'd also like to think that Woodman and Drillmans father were schoolmates back in the day, maybe even friends? (I'm still holding onto those 30 years).

Anyway, after all the former robot comrades part ways, now without a leader, what was Drillman supposed to do? Once again betrayed by a trusted figure, feeling useless and without purpose, still with these stupid drills mounted to his body... Still too ashamed to ask for help. After all that has happened in the past few hours he begins spiraling, which ultimately leads him to make a very unfortunate decision. Trying to get at least some of the freedom in his life back, he attempts to get rid of the drills making up his body on his own, using the same tools that have haunted him all this time to finally rid himself of this burden.

He regrets this just seconds after, when he's left with an unresponsive limb, metal and wires exposed and oil splattered all over his orange plating. All he can do is stare at the stained drill in front of him in horror.

"I never needed such help/This is my SOS"

Jesus Christ that got dark. Sorry. I mentioned in my last post that Drillman possibly has really bad body dysmorphia, which I'm also trying to convey here. Don't worry, he really gets his hands back after this. Maybe the Lights find him after that and the good Doctor offers to fix him up. By which I mean not only his arm. Because apparently, Dr. Light also doubles as robot psychologist. I just really need Drillman to get his happy ending. He really really deserves it after everything he had to go trough over the course of the show. 

I also need him to have a DJing redemption, besides the normal redemption. I've seen people headcanon that he exclusively likes classical music, but I personally don't believe that. He'd be the kind of music nerd who would say stuff like "I listen to everything" and then you look at his playlists and he actually listens to everything. Maybe not experimental noise rock, though. I can just imagine Aki and Suna helping him put on an actual show, this time without any hypnotizing bullshit, as a way for Aki to apologize for the dread he's caused Drillman during that incident. Drillman would be highly suspicious at first, but actually goes along with it in the end. Maybe they'd also take Fireman along, who Dr. Light also blessed with a brand new pair of hands. The punchline at the end would be that Drillman would have so much anxiety about embarrassing himself again, that he forgets to make an actual set list for the gig. In the end, he exclusively plays Lady Gaga songs, which no one complains about.

Alright then, enough yapping from me. I've really been writing this essay since 8pm. And now it's 2am. My god. I just have a lot of feelings about Drillman.

But now I really gotta go to bed. Stay safe peeps. I hope you actually read the content warnings. Jenny out.

[why-the-heck-not]

Top 5 technologies that, unfortunately, have fallen out of use

okay this was interesting, had to rly think. Also idk if my definition of "technology" is right, but anything resembling will go. ALSO damn I rambled a lot, sorry abt that, apparently I like thinking about old tech

CDs. I miss owning albums, it was so nice to like actually have the physical copy of something u love. I think that's what missing now and is why I sometimes get actually annoyed abt loving a band/song (rn it's The Vantages (a band) & I'm actually mad about it) bc the "listening to it is not enough, I need to inject it to my bloodstream"-mood, which in actuality is that I'd love a physical copy to make it feel like a concrete thing. It's like the next best thing to going to a concert, and I can't keep buying merch I'll never wear outside my house to compensate. Also made u like decide on what album u want to listen to & the songs are always gonna be in the same order the artist decided them to be in, no mixing songs from the same or diff artists, you had to make A Choice. (actually my dad has my fave bands CDs (old-ish band & he an og fan) and it's kinda comforting to me that if (/when?) some Spotify apocalypse eventually happens, I'll have a way to listen to them anyways). Also been thinking for years about buying either a CD- or a vinyl player, or something like that bc I want to have physical copies of my faves (but haven't decided on what yet (probs vinyl tho. for the vibes.) and also the money aspect of it is not great)

Nokias. I just talked with my sister how we've both been thinking abt just buying an old Nokia keypad non-smart phone and just using that instead of like the current phones (but alas, not rly possible, like I can't get into my gym without a smart phone and that's just one thing, u kinda need a smartphone or life becomes unnecessarily complicated). But the durability, the worm game, the ''oh no in a hurry and need the letter s, oh shit I went overboard and went right back to p''). Also Finland represent lol

tamagotchi type things. like a "gaming console" (it's not but idk what those are called) that has the one game with abt 3 pixels and no color. Also I had one like that had a monkey that collected dropping bananas and that was the whole game, the only function that thing had (I have a suspicion I got it from McDonalds??? idk why I keep thinking that) (Googled and yes it was from McDonalds, called Aiai banana catch)

those big computers that were for the whole household. We didn't have one growing up (bc my parents had computers at their work and so we didn't need one) but the thrill of going to like a friend who lived near and they used their 1h of computer time to like play some horse game; unparalleled. Or like the games at Miniclip ?? or later on CLUB PENGUIN !!!!! (still to this day the best game that has or ever will exist) (tho I think at around club penguin-era my sister got a laptop so I used that until I got my own)

Those calculators that prints on paper what u've calculated right after, idk what they're called. Never used one & obv never had one bc was a kid, and actually not fully sure if ppl still do use them (but guessing at least that they're not as popular anymore) but damn. The pure aesthetics and vibes. Like the movie scenes of a character calculating using that while looking at bills to indicate that the said character has some finance problems? phenomenal, cinematography etc.

[raysources]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐔𝐌  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒     —     a collection of one - liners taken from will wood's 2020 album, the normal album.   slightly edited for clarity.   change pronouns as necessary.   tw. death, mental illness / ableism, suicide, drugs, gender dysphoria.

trick or treat, merry christmas.

buy now or die!

the lights are on, but no one's home.

it takes a village to fake a whole culture.

home is where the heart is.

home is where the heart is, you're not homeless, but you're heartless.

i can tell that you know where paradise is.

a snowflake only matters in a blizzard.

why apologize for being blue and cold?

culture's not your friend.

well, lot, he had his lot in life, job his job, and i guess you too, will die.

hey, you're only mortal!

the devil made me do it, but i also kind of wanted to.

forget bored stiff, i got rigor mortis.

meaning can be such a pretty thing to keep.

i got facts and i'm not afraid to use 'em.

if sick is defined by what's different, then pull the plug out and let me die.

who i am i choose through all the things i do.

i hate poetry.

well that was fun, goodbye.

have you ever died in a nightmare?

could you take a look at me?

am i really that bad?

if you were in my shoes, you'd walk the same damn miles i do.

with my head up in the clouds, i can see so much ground.

it doesn't take a killer to murder, it only takes a reason to kill.

somebody help me!

the only ones in need of love are those who don't receive enough.

the only ones in need of love are those who don't receive enough, so evil ones should get a little more.

if the shoe fits would you walk that mile?

am i pretty now?

for some reason i find myself lost in what you think of me.

i wish i could be a girl.

i wish i could be a girl, and that way you'd wish i could be your girlfriend.

am i pretty enough to lie to?

i get dressed up in shadows one leg at a time.

i love how you're on my side when i cross that line.

say my name like a slur, but i've been called worse.

i am quantum physics, my witness brings me into existence.

am i pretty enough to love back?

am i pretty enough?

am i pretty enough to fucking die?

my daughter's growing up.

i don't wanna be at all like me.

stranger things than death can happen.

everybody's in on everybody's business.

i know mistletoe when i see it.

could you tell me how i'm right for you?

if they could see the future back when times were simple, would they kiss your cheek or yank the bandage off?

if everybody's different, how could anybody match?

everybody's all up in my god damn business.

this isn't my first kiss.

it's better to be lost than loved, now, isn't it?

this isn't my first anything.

i know exactly how i should finish it.

what's so wrong about what's wrong with me?

i'm just trying to do what's right by you.

you people make me sick.

who'd want to be human anyway?

why'd you come into this world or come out that way?

well, not "haha" funny, but y'know, funny.

i doubt that you would even if you could change.

you think it makes you special, but it makes you strange.

the things that make you special are the things that make you strange.

who'd want to belong to anyone?

five more minutes please? you wouldn't believe the dream i just had.

if it was going to kill you, it would have by now.

there's no more looking back, it's looking up or looking down.

you think ideas spread because they're good? no, they spread because people like them.

i guess it's just something people do.

you've lost your mind and almost lost your life before, so you'll be fine.

it's no good looking back, so try to look forward now.

how many years have you been on that couch?

lately you've been focusing too much on yourself.

back in my day we didn't need no feel - good pills and no psychiatrists.

what's a symptom, what's a flaw, can it be both?

they discovered a cure for the symptom of being alive.

lately i've been worried that you're losing yourself.

don't you make me waste my breath.

you're not your thoughts.

i live deliberately.

i'm a quitter.

won't follow my dreams, 'cause they all got me waking up screaming.

i'd rather be normal.

i suggest we keep this informal.

a normal human being wouldn't need to pretend to be normal.

love me normally.

i don't wanna get old.

i love you exactly the way that everybody else is.

i was nothing before, so i couldn't have asked to be born.

you better have one hell of a plan.

one day you're going to die.

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but something will eventually!

at most a couple generations will remember the ways in which your life never mattered, so who cares if it's a waste?

your legacy's not yours to see.

you'll never know what it all means.

everything and everyone goes with the passage of time.

try not to think about it.

there's probably nothing after.

you only have one chance.

if you only have one chance, you oughta try your best to live as you like.

[writingmaneskin]

Timezone - A Damiano David Story

Pairings: Damiano David x Reader

Description: An imaginary behind the scenes of how Damiano wrote Timezone.

Contains: angst and fluff (but mostly fluff), pining

Words: 1.2k

This was a request.

THE MAIN MASTERLIST

kofi || join the taglist || send a request || chaoticallie

taglist: @queendorkula @oro-e-diamanti @moonlight-simp @maneskings @iosonoarina @unaballerinascalza @hiraetheral, @homesicam, @ilwiwbysmv @bieberhoodforever @vita-thrasher @katyldamusic @ethaneskin @theimpossiblehologramtree @8iunie @dubist-immerinmeinengedanken @butkutee @sarcastic-sourwolf @dpaccione @elvirabelle @cuzimitaliano @daddydamiano @shehaddreamstoo @iamtashaquinn @alexxavicry @inloveppp @tnu-ree @bigsimpsimp @ccweasley @soficide

Damiano knew that his place wasn’t LA. There was nothing attractive about the people or the circumstances there - it would always be just work for him. Just work, meetings and parties that exposed people for who they weren’t. 

The band had to record the album which meant time away from home, time away from you.

You, who hadn’t chosen this busy glitz and glam life. You, who had chosen him despite all of it.

He picked up the phone, not paying attention at all to what time it would be at home.

“Hey you.” Your voice carried the sleepiness that always melted him.

“Cazzo, I woke you up, didn’t I?”

“Sleep is overrated anyway, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I’m homesick. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, tesoro.” 

“Will you stay with me for a little bit?” He pleaded.

“As long as you need me to.” You propped the phone against the pillow on his side of the bed and watched him as he opened the notebook again.

“How is writing coming along?”

“It’s hard. We wrote some songs about the foolishness going on here but there are missing pieces that I can’t quite figure out.”

“What do the others think?”

“We’re all restless and I’ve acquired a few nicknames in the process, but I don’t care about it. I just.. I want to finish this project so we can start putting it together because we don’t need to be here to do that.”

“The sooner you finish it, the sooner you can come home, yes?”

“I would come home right now if I could.” 

“I know, tesoro. I miss you so much.”

You tried to hide the tears that came to your eyes.

“I will be there before you know it.” He promised.

“I know. I am counting on it.”

“I know. Try to go back to sleep.”

“Stay with me, please?” It was your turn to plead. 

“I will. I will work quietly while you sleep.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**

You fell asleep, the comfort of his presence despite the distance was tangible.

“What are you doing?” Thomas asked, coming outside for a smoke while Damiano alternated between glancing at the phone and scribbling fragments of lyrics in the notebook.

Damiano shushed him and pointed at the phone.

“Sorry.” Thomas raised his arms.

“I’m writing.” Damiano whispered. 

“Do you need anything?”

“Yes. But we’ll talk about it later.”

“Okay, you know what to do.” Thomas winked at him and distanced himself, giving the two of you space.

**

You woke up and saw that the call had ended. 

“Buongiorno, thank you for keeping me company. When can we talk again?” You wrote to Damiano.

“Buongiorno amore. Did you sleep well?”

“I did. It could only have been better if you were physically here.”

“We’ll make up for lost times, I promise. I have a busy evening and we’ll likely work well into the night here so I’ll text you when I can, okay? Keep me updated. I love you so much.”

“I love you too and don’t work yourself into the ground. I need you alive and well with me.”

“I promise.”

**

You didn’t think much of it - he was there on a work trip after all, it was understandable that he couldn’t be on the phone all the time, so you went about your day - going to work, meeting up with a friend for a coffee after work, buying some groceries on the way home.

You unlocked the apartment and went in, only to find a second pair of shoes - shoes you knew very well, next to the door, in their usual place.

Your heart started racing.

“You’re back!” Damiano exclaimed, sweeping you off your feet and pressing you close to himself.

The tears started flowing and you held him tightly, not quite believing that he was in fact there.

“You’re here?” You kept running your fingers through his hair. He held you up for a little while before pulling away slightly only to give you a kiss.

“I snuck away under the excuse that I need some sleep.” He gently wiped your face and kissed you again and again.

“When do you have to go back?” You already dreaded having to let him go.

“Very soon but I needed this. I needed you. I need you.” He kissed you again.

“I need you too.” 

His phone wouldn’t stop ringing no matter how much he tried to ignore it. It was alternating between calls and texts and other notifications coming in and in that moment, he wanted to throw it out.

“You can’t ice them out. Especially since you didn’t tell them that you’d be leaving. They could think that you’ve been kidnapped.”

“They will burst our bubble.”

“No, they will not. You know you have to go back, just don’t stress out our friends unnecessarily. Please.”

He picked up the phone on what looked like Ethan’s fiftieth call.

“Dam? Where are you? Are you okay? Do you want us to pick you up? Did something happen?” 

“Hi. I am fine, I snuck away and came home. I’m sorry for vanishing and ghosting and just… keeping you all out of the loop but I needed to come home.”

A moment of silence.

“Is Y/N okay?”

“Y/N is good. I just needed to come home and feel like I am home even if it’s for a few moments. I’ll be back as soon as possible, I promise and I’ll make it up to you guys for stressing you out, I just needed this.”

“You have nothing to make up for. Just don’t run away next time and give us a heads up.” Vic shouted from the side.

“You could make it up to us with some pasta.” Thomas added, trying to lighten the situation.

“We’ll cover for you for as long as we can, do what needs to be done and we’ll see you soon.” Ethan added before hanging up.

**

Each step leading him away from you felt heavier and heavier. But he had to do this - he had to go back and finish this album so the next time he would be back he would be able to stay for longer.

You walked with him in the airport for as long as you could, trying not to cry the whole time, knowing that the tears would make it even harder for him to leave.

“It’s not worth it.” He spoke quietly, making sure that only you would hear.

“It is. It’s your dream and that makes it worth it.”

“Dreams are just that. You are real.”

“I miss you and I will miss you again and this distance is horrible and I hate it when we are not together but I will not trade for anything in the world the spark in your eyes or the joy that I see when you are doing what you love most and sharing your art with the world. And there is a lot you have not yet shared with the world, Damiano David.”

You carefully wiped the tears that came to his eyes and kissed him again.

“Be safe for me and take good care of yourself. We’ll be back together before you know it.” You kissed him very gently.

“I love you.” He kissed you again and again before going to the security line.

Less than a week later, right as you were going to bed a text came from him, with an audio file and the words - for you, tesoro.

Only thing that keeps us apart Is a different timezone

[romanarose]

Darkness on the Edge of Town: Chapter 2

Joel Miller x reader

Chapter 1

Masterlist

Chapter Summary: You try to get Joel to warm up to you, and Joel learned his rescue may not have gone as planned.

WARNINGS: References to attempted rape (previous chapter) but we don't dwell on it. blowjob, thigh riding, subby!joel, Joel is a grumpy pants but he's getting there.

A/N I kinda had given up on this, but then someone send an anon ask for me, and i got some nice comments on AO3 so here we are. I condensed the story, so sorry if it feels rushed. one or two more chapters after this. I also changes from OC to reader, so if anything in this chapter or the last says "her" or any physical descriptions i missed in the edit, please let me know! I'll do my best to do this story justice!

Joel woke up the way he always did; annoyed. “Quit touching my shit” He grumbled.

You jumped at his voice, stepping away from Joel’s small collection of records. “Sorry” You didn’t look sorry. He didn’t respond.

But you kept talking. “I saw you have Nevermind, that’s pretty impressive.” No response. “My dad had some SoundGarden album, I can't really remember what it was, used to listen to it a lot” When you still didn’t get anything from him, you sighed, and Joel only felt a little bit bad. For the next few hours, you made occasional attempts at conversation, only to be met with absolutely nothing in response. By the later afternoon, you had taken to nearly having a conversation with yourself. This is how Joel found himself lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, listening to you babble on about one thing or another, trying to think of a way to get you to shut up; telling you as such directly hadn’t worked. “Is this your guitar?” You gestured towards the 6 string propped up against the shotty record player. It wasn’t nearly the first question you’d asked that day, but it was the first you didn't answer yourself. He took the opportunity to be snarky. “Whose else would it be?” “You’re girlfriend?” You answered nonchalantly. This got his attention, making him sit up to look at you while you continued looking at the guitar. “What?”

You turned to him and answered like it was so obvious. “Well, you had pads in the bathroom.” A little flush crept up in Joel’s neck. He wasn’t a stranger to them by any means, he had no problem buying them for Sarah, but talking about it with a woman he barely knew was a different story. Joel dodged your eyes, laying back down again. “I don’t have a girlfriend.” “Well, whoever those are meant for then, if they're here enough to need pads and tampons.” Joel had gotten them years ago, found some randomly in an abandoned store, and kept them on hand for Tess in lieu of trading. Joel has long suspected they were no longer relevant to her, but was not about to ask. “Those are for emergencies.” “Ohhhh” You teased. “Got lots of ladies coming and going?” Joel didn’t dignify this with a response. In fact, he refused to dignify every comment and question you made for the next 3 hours with any answer until you began yawning, and Joel took the opportunity to offer you the bed to nap, very happy to have something to get you to shut the hell up for a few hours.

Once he was sure you were out cold, snoring loudly, he radioed a contact. 

 A few hours later, you were up and still annoying him. You had spent the last few hour attempting to work out, jogging in place, pushups, sit ups rationalizing that you would never be able to sleep if you just sat around all day when Joel gave you a look. He couldn’t help but stare a bit when he thought you weren’t looking looking (you were). You were an interesting person to be sure, one of the few that weren’t intimidated by him, chattering away and continuously trying to get some sort of background information from him, something to work with. It was clear you were likely very lonely, but Joel was not the cure for that. He found himself accidentally looking at your ass while you did squats when someone threw rocks at the window, and while Joel tells you not to, you open the window to see a FEDRA guard. “Yeah?” you shout down, before Joel pushes you out of the way, telling the guard to meet him downstairs.

When Joel opens up the door to the apartment building, he takes the bags the guard brought.

“Was that the girl?” He asks.

Joel doesn’t look up, looking through the bags to make sure everything is there. “How many girls do you think I have in my apartment?”

“Ross isn’t happy with you”

“He’s never happy with me” Joel mutters as he pays for what the guard brought.

“No, Joel, he’s furious. It’s not good. He wants her.”

This caught Joel’s attention, and he looked up.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s not gonna let go of this. He thinks she’s his. When the lockdown is over, she’s not out of this.”

Although his face betrayed no emotion, concern was bubbling in him as he shut the door, walking down the hall slowly. For reasons Joel couldn’t place, he felt a duty to her. He intervened in the ally, he allowed her to stay with him, when this was done, he should be able to wash his hands of her…

“You look grumpier than usual.” You comment as he comes in, carrying the bags as you stretched.

“Very observant” Joel retorts. 

“What’s that?” You reference the bags he was unloading onto the cabinets.

“Nothing”

“Did you get more food?”

“No”

But he did, it was clear. Joel had pulled his strings to get more food and necessities for you. 

“Thank you, Joel”

He was struck with the sincerity in her voice, different from the usual chattering, sarcasm, and one way conversations. He continued to put things away as he heard you stand up, trying to ignore you. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I can pay you back, I got some ration cards at home.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Joel reiterated.

Your voice was suddenly very close to him, he could feel your presence behind him. “Or I could pay you back another way.”

Joel quickly started walking away to pretend to do something else, trying to hide the blush on his face. 

You keep distance, not wanting to cage him in, but you do follow him a little as he fucked around the room. 

“Oh come on, how long’s it been?”

“Not that long” he spoke with a little indigence, so you dropped it.

“Just a blow job, it’ll kill some time-”

Joel whipped around. “I didn’t bring you here to take advantage of you”

You softened, taking a careful few steps forward as you did, not trying to overwhelm him, but assure him that he wouldn’t be. “You’re sweet. I think you try to pretend you’re not, but you are. I won’t push it, but it doesn’t have to be in exchange for anything, if that makes you feel better.”

Joel eyed you suspiciously, still on guard. “What do you get out of it?”

You smirk a bit. “I get a lot out of it, I enjoy it”

He scoffed at that. “Sure, you enjoy sucking a guy off.”

“Oh I most definitely do, Joel.” You said with a smile. “The feeling of a thick cock in my mouth, the taste, the smell, the sounds they make-”

“Stop” Joel had his eyes closed and you could tell he was considering it. “I get it.” He opened his eyes and watched you, thinking. “Just a blowjob? And we can call it even?”

“Just a blowjob. Unless you want to fuck me, of course”

He held out hand. “Blowjob is fine.” But he made no move, and you had a feeling you’d be taking the lead; fine by you, you loved to have a man whimpering at your hands. 

“Awesomesauce. Now, let me guess…” You pretended to consider for a moment. “You strike me as more of a ‘laying down’ kind of guy”

As long as you weren’t going crazy, the smallest smile appeared on his face. “How’d you know?”

You laugh loudly, walking towards the bed. “No reason, you just seem like the kind of guy who's in control all the time, and likes to be able to… let go.” 

Joel was absolutely smiling now, no matter how small it was. “Hm. Let’s see how well you can make me let go, before we get too carried away.”

You were thrilled to see a playful side of him, no matter how slight, directing him to lay down on the bed before straddling him, rubbing your crotch over his in the sweatpants he gave you. Out of instinct, Joel reached out to touch you, but you smacked his hands away. “Aht, aht aht. I’m supposed to be making you let go, remember? Let me do my thing, I don’t need any help”

“We’ll see about that”

You were dead set and determined to make Joel give up control, and god, make him smile. You didn’t feel like you owed him sex, like you were pressured in any way; Joel had made it clear he’d simply not talk to you if you'd let him. But you wanted to make him feel good. He’d saved you from something horrific, and great inconvenience himself in the process. You wanted to pay him back in some way or another, and a blowjob was as good as any. You weren’t lying; you enjoyed it.

Rocking your hips on him and enjoying the feeling of him growing hard, you looked down at Joel; his eyebrows were knitted together, lips pursed, and clearly trying to not make it obvious how much he was enjoying this. You brace yourself on his chest, leaning over so your face was close to his, and taking enjoyment in the way his breathing stopped. “Gonna make you feel so good, Joel” you nearly whisper, lips ghosting over his but never touching.

You work yourself down him, slowly crawling back, until your face is right next to his crotch. “Can I?”

You ask, looking up to see his eyes intense, and wide, and heavily trained on you.

“Joel, can I? Yes or no.” You ask, hands tracing the elastic of his pants.

His voice was so, so quiet. “Please.”

You smile. “Don’t gotta beg, sweet boy.”and you cup his full erection as you speak.

It was quiet, but an unmistakable, small whimper from his mouth as you began your ministrations on him through the material before you pulled down his pants, his cock springing free for you.

“Beautiful” You say under your breath. “Fucking beautiful.” He was massive, and you couldn’t wait to actually get him in your mouth. You start with a long lick from the base to the tip, and immediately Joel was writhing under you, and you figured he’d lied when he said it hadn’t been that long… with a deep breath, you begin to sink down on him, taking as much as you could before coming up and going down a second time, repeating this action as you took a little more each time.

You were right, Joel had lied; it had been a long time. There bad been quick fucks here and there, girls he’d been with for a quickie and not much else, only if the timing lined up. Joel didn’t really go around seaking it, especially in the QZ. When he had saved you, no part of him thought of you like this, there was no part of him that wanted to take advantage of you and your vulnerability, but when it was so clear you wanted him… your pretty lips stretched around him, the way your head bobbed, taking more and more and more…. When you buried your face in the hairs at his base, his cock sliding down your throat, he involuntarily bucked his hips up, causing you to gag just a little bit, but nothing you couldn’t take. When you went up for air, he began apoligizing.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

But you cut him off by fitting all of him into your mouth again, expertly working yourself on him, using your right fist to wrap around his base, twisting in time to your mouth, eagerly sucking on him with everything in you. Joel was taking in everything about you, every gluck your throat made, the wet, sloppy sounds, the little moans that showed him yes, yes you were actually enjoying this, you got pleasure from his pleasure alone. He could see you were wriggling on the bed, rubbing your thighs together for friction and despite his insistence that this was just going to be a quick blowjob, he wasn’t the kind of guy to just keep you wanting; he wasn’t that much of an asshole.

Joel sat up and you watched him but did not stop your work, thinking maybe he wanted to touch your ass or tits or something. Instead, Joel picked up your hips, placing you so you straddled his leg, a perfect angle to get yourself off on.

“Please don’t stop,” He whispered as he laid back down. 

“I won’t, honey” Your pet names seemed to get a rise out of him, and you watched him breath in deep before releasing a moan as you picked up speed. Working yourself on him, it didn’t take long to near your orgasm and catch up with him; the sounds Joel made, as much as he tried to suppress them, turn you on indescribably, he almost came, but you pinch the base of his hard cock, stopping him.

“No” Joel whines.

“When you cum, I don’t want you to hold back those sounds, okay?”

Joel didn’t reply, and you watched his chest heaving, struggling as his body begged for touch.

You kiss the peak of stomach that showed from his ridden up shirt, stroking him but slowly.

“Joel, need you to promise me you won’t hide from me, okay?”

“Oh- okay” He breathed out, broad body writhing beneath you.

You continue using his leg to get off. “Promise?”

“Promise, please, god dammit it, please-” The words spilled out in rapid succession, desperation lacing his voice.

“Cum whenever you’re ready, baby, I’m right behind you”

You sunk your mouth back on him, your slick coating your thighs and the inside of Joel’s pants you wore, and Joel tried not to think about how they must smell, how you must taste…

“Fuck, I- I’m- I’m gonna cum” Joel warned, but you didn’t pull away, shooting the thick ropes down your mouth as you came on his leg.  He did as promised and didn’t hold back at all, moaning loudly for you, for you, for you….

As you came down from the high, relaxed against him, you look up at Joel, and find he is, in fact, looking down at you, and you could tell he wasn’t about to say anything until prompted.

“That was fucking hot, Joel”

Panting, he replies, the smallest of smiles on his face. “Yeah. yeah it was.”

You pull up his pants for him, and begin to get up, intending on moving to your chair for the night, but Joel quickly sat up, grabbing your arm. “Wait”

Turning to him with raised eyebrows, you wait for him to say more, but he hesitates, all nervous despite his dick literally being in your mouth a few minutes ago.

“Yes?”

“Well… You could sleep on the bed, if you want…  ain’t tryna cuddle or nothing, but-”

“I’d love to, Joel.” You smile, laying down and getting under the blanket.

Joel wasn’t lying, he wasn’t trying to cuddle, he stayed so far away you thought he’d fall off the bed; but the gesture was sweet, and you enjoyed sharing a bed with someone, even like this. 

When you woke up, Joel’s arm was around you.

*******************

@welcometostayingawake @howaboutcastiel @trinkets01 @ninebluehearts @luciannadraven33 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[tacky-jack-with-a-hat]

May we have angsty Texas hc’s? 👁️👁️

*🩴*

*🩴* -thanks for the free sandal.

This made me feel sad when writing it. Some stuff is implied. I may have projected.

Tw: Trauma, implied abuse, angst, (tiny amount of comfort at the end)

• He will occasionally stumble into confusion and horror when something accidentally reminds him of his past but he refuses to speak about it and pretends nothing just happened. Usually he'll cover his neck during the moment and will refuse to speak but he'll wait until he's home to start bawling.

•Drinks too much when he's unhappy but at least Loui's there to comfort him.

•States who are more observant (like NY, and Loui) are aware of his "weird moments" where he shuts down verbally, his face stiffens, his fingers figit, and he'll just stop making eye contact. When this happens the states try to cheer him up by taking him to parties or rodeos but this usually leads to Texas becoming overwhelmed and tense but he fakes the enjoyment to get out of the party sooner.

•Texas is afraid of getting a diagnosis. He doesn't like being seen as "crazy" and he doesn't want a piece of paper to confirm it because then he'll have to confront the idea that everything terrible that's happened to him was because he was "broken" and he "deserved it".

•The only state that knows what Texas is going through is Texas. Specifically, Austin. Compared to the other Cities, Austin is more open and is trying to encourage Texas to open up to others. That's why Austin meets up regularly with a therapist and has tried to get Texas to look for a diagnosis. Texas is still afraid but is trying his best to learn.

•However, Texas and Austin's world collides whenever it comes to Cali. Texas and Cali argue a lot with the stress of some arguments lingering for days and hindering his progression. Austin has tried to explain to Cali that Texas needs time to heal before he can listen but Cali himself is tired of Texas belittling him and making him feel worthless. Austin tries to comfort and support both but ends up like a child in a custody battle, with both sides thinking he loves the other state more.

•Texas is jealous of Cali. It's unclear why but something always tells Texas that Cali has it all figured out and how lucky he is to be an "outsider" who doesn't care what people think. Although it's obvious to everyone else Cali has the emotional stability of a worm in a blender.

•Of course it may be obvious that Texas's parents weren't that great, but neither was his education. He was sent to this religious boarding school to correct his "weird" behaviour but it was unnecessarily cruel. He wasn't allowed to talk to anyone and spent most days staring at a wall. One punishment was to tie his hands behind his back to stop him flapping them when he was stressed. Now his hands only shake or tighten to a fist.

•Texas doesn't have any noticeable scars, but when he feels his bare skin he feels the difference. He doesn't look down at his body and tries to change as fast as he can for this reason.

Bc writing this physically hurt me here's some comfort:

•Texas is a horse girl and the states will buy him horse figures and souvenirs. Everytime he gets one he'll stare at it. He has a large play set of a horse ranch in the statehouse as he can't have his real horses around.

•He and Cali dance to Beyoncé's new album. It doesn't matter if they're in a fight, they'll stop to dance anyway.

•He's a hug magnet. When he lets one state hug him, others will join.

[rtothe3rd]

Being a girl;

I don’t like the “pick me” misogynist idea that stereotypically “feminine” things are inherently negative or shameful and can’t overlap with “masculine” ideas or qualities, and I hate how toxic and sexist and pro-ED the embracing femininity communities (coquette girlblogging) can be, as if being a woman is made of suffering and a woman's body is a vessel for misogyny in thin, white, childlike standards of beauty. Fuck it all; I do love the color pink and wearing lip gloss and buying clothes and Lana Del Rey and sometimes I even look at my horoscope and I use copious amounts of hairspray, but I want to be a lawyer when I’m grown up and and I swear like a sailor and I’m an honors student and my favorite thing to talk about is politics and I’ll debate anything that breathes, and I try not to equate my worth (or anybody else's) with the number of inches around my waist. How can’t those two things coexist? Why can't I put Taylor Swift's album drop and the senate midterms on my calendar? Why can't my walls be plastered with photo strips and artsy postcards alongside my 4 framed speech awards? Why can't I fantasize about being in love and also about kicking a nazi in the face? I'm a female; therefore everything I do is feminine, no matter what people say. I want to celebrate and RECLAIM femininity for myself and for womankind, not for the male gaze. Coquette pro ED and pick-me-choose-me-love-me subcultures have one major thing in common: catering to men and men in particular. The day that we as women stop hating ourselves is the day we stop feeding into a school of thought that fuels a multibillion dollar industry that creates and profits off our insecurities. If you're gonna wear makeup, wear it for you. If you're gonna change your weight, do it for your physical and mental health. If you're gonna get plastic surgery, understand why. Why you've always wanted bigger/smaller breasts, a bigger/smaller butt, a flatter stomach, a smoother face. Girls, don't feel rushed to go through puberty, but when you do, celebrate that you're maturing and changing. The stretch marks are healthy. Your breasts don't need to be any bigger or smaller to serve their purpose, whether that is to feed children or just exist. The blood is not filthy, it's a sign of health. Yeah, I know it sucks, but don't let anybody make you feel bad. Those asshole boys wouldn't exist if their moms never menstruated. And to women MY mom's age, you don't need to starve yourself to achieve what filthy pigs tell you you should look like after carrying and delivering a pregnancy for 9 months. You don't need to be as thin as you were at 20, this is supposed to happen. You don't need to inject toxins into your face to make it look like you've never smiled or seen the sun. You don't need to be ashamed of living and aging naturally, aging is healthy, you are supposed to get older. When was the last time you heard a a man your age complain about lines on his skin or 5 extra pounds? When was the last time you saw a male celebrity's stomach rolls or cellulite blown up on a tabloid cover and picked apart by the whole world? when was the last time you witnessed a man reduced to his appearance? why do WE owe beauty to the world, a world where our bodily autonomy is in jeopardy? Why are we only beautiful when we're weak and starving and cold, where we're miserable and tired and hurting, when we're manipulated and injected and stuffed and exploited and profited off of and sexualized and traumatized and forced? forced to perform and change and carry a child? Men will pay to see videos of naked women seducing them and turn right back around and advocate for our disenfranchisement. Men have been taught that they have the authority to reduce us, shrink us down to sex symbols and forget our humanity, and these men do what they want and make millions and get elected to America's highest offices and win grammies.

If you're a woman and you're reading this, you do not owe a man's perception of you to anybody. Every time a grown man online treats me like I'm stupid; every time a boy taunts me about Andrew Tate; every time another woman acts like politics are inconsequential; every time I remember an 80 year old man making obscene gestures to me on the street; every time I read a school dress code implying that my body is inherently pornographic; every time another pig is elected to our government; every time our trans sisters are oppressed and excluded by other women, the fire grows. soon it will consume me.

[fantastickkay]

Album Review of the Week: Lady Gaga - Born This Way (2011) ☆☆☆☆☆

Buckle up! This is one of my favorite albums of all time and I have 12 years of thoughts to share! I absolutely loved The Fame and The Fame Monster, so when this album was announced I was ready! I wasn't too impressed with Born This Way (single) at the time, but I still had faith that this was going to be a fantastic release. This is while I was in graphic design school, so I had a MacBook and the week this was released, my charger had broken. I remember using the very last little bit of battery I had before a new one arrived to buy this on iTunes and sync it to my iPod. Yes, this was the dark days when I would buy music digitally. A few years later, I found the deluxe edition at Electric Fetus in Minneapolis to finally have a physical! The deluxe edition is definitely worth having, not only does it have an alternate cover (I absolutely hated the motorcycle design!) but the bonus tracks and remixes are fantastic. The competition is very stiff, but this is definitely my favorite Gaga album! The singles are iconic, the energy throughout is great and the deep tracks are soooo good.

The album opens with Marry the Night, this is the perfect song of the bunch to open the album. It's an energetic declaration that nothing is going to hold her down! "Kiss the bartender twice, I'm a loser".

Born This Way served as the lead single, like I said earlier I wasn't too impressed with it at first and it still isn't one of my favorite tracks on the album, but it has a great message, guaranteed to be heard at Pride festivities! Even if it's not my favorite, the quality of this album is so high that I still consider it a great song! "Don't be a drag, just be a queen."

Government Hooker brings us into what I consider to be the main sound of the album - dark and a little experimental. I've thought this song was the coolest ever since I heard it for the first time. I love the call and response/spoken word of the chorus, it has such a cool sound, as well as the HOoooOOooOKahahah. "I can be good, unless you want to be bad."

Judas is my favorite single of the album; this music video is on as many playlists as I can put it on! Her trolling the Christian community by releasing this on Easter Sunday is iconic. She calls back to Bad Romance by having that same "skat" style singing, if you can call it that. The instrumentation is super punchy, and the choreography isn't too complicated so it accessible to someone like me! The bridge is really great as well. "Build a house or sink a dead body."

While Americano is fun, it does seem like a filler track to me. This album is quite bloated, even the standard edition! Even so, the energy level does not falter and we have another great dance track that is fun to shout along to in the car! "I have cried for, I will die for how I care."

Hair is kind of a mix of Americano and Born This Way. It has that same bubbly delivery as Americano with the similar messaging of childhood memories and living as you are as BTW. I also enjoy the youthful lyrics, as if she's singing from the perspective of her younger self, it really helps paint the picture. "I'll die living just as free as my hair."

Scheiße brings us back to the dark side, although it's a good mix between bright + upbeat and experimental, which actually makes it a great transition track between moods which is what it ends up being. The chanting chorus is so silly that only Lady Gaga could pull it off! The mixture of actual German and made-up German is just amazing. The larger message of this song, however, is fantastic as it illustrates the struggle and need for a woman to be her own self on her own accord. "I don't speak German but I wish I could."

It's a close match between this and the previous track, but I have to say that Bloody Mary is my favorite song on this album. I absolutely love how dark and moody it is, and the vocal effects that are used every so often are really cool as well. My favorite parts are the chant and vocal run (would you call it that? I'm not sure) near the end, so fun to sing along to. This song had a resurgence in popularity last year thanks to Tik Tok. "I won't cry for you, I won't crucify the things you do."

Next we have a bonus track, Black Jesus † Amen Fashion, the melody on this one reminds me of Hair a lot. The chorus, however, is where the energy lies! It definitely fits the mood of walking down the runway with your fiercest attitude. "Dancing in my revelation, underground pop civilization."

Bad Kids was one of my favorites when this album came out, now I don't think of it as often but it is still a great track! The lyrics are super sassy although ever since I heard someone mention it sounds like "I'm a f****t baby" I can't unhear it! "I'm a brat. I'm a selfish punk, I really should be smacked."

Fashion of His Love is another bonus track. This is another filler track, I feel. The tone is really light and breezy though which can serve as a break from all the heavy songs surrounding it! "I'm fashionably just designed to be grand."

Highway Unicorn (Road To Love) counts as a filler in my opinion as well. I do like the vocal effects during the chanting. The vocals at the end of the chorus have a really nice tone and sound and the drums in some spots are really dynamic!

Heavy Metal Lover is a strong contender for favorite track as well. This is another one that has a huge cool factor in my eyes ever since it first came out. It is quite an odd song but something about it just pulls me in and doesn't want to let go. Again, the vocal effects create a very distinct mood and the melodies in some spots sound really great (I could be your girl girl girl....). "Let's raise hell in the streets, drink beer and get into trouble."

Electric Chapel introduces us to the last act of this album. It starts with a strong guitar riff and is driving and dramatic. I absolutely love the vocals and melody on this song! It has 80s hair band energy which she does a great job executing. Now, I'm not saying it's exactly reminiscent of that sound, but it just has the energy! "Follow me, don't be such a holy fool."

The last bonus track before we switch to disc 2, The Queen is a bouncy 80s-sounding tune. It's a motivational tune that encourages you to be the best queen you can be!

The last 2 tracks as this long journey comes to a close are the most well-known and radio friendly singles. You and I brought us Jo Calderone, Gaga's male alter ego. This song is a great track that belongs in dive bars everywhere. I used to be in a cover band and would sing this at dive bars! It was one of my favorites to sing. The lyrics are aching yet whimsical and delivered expertly. "Sit back down where you belong, in the corner of my bar with your high heels on." The Edge of Glory pales in comparison to the rest of the album, but that by no means makes it a bad song! It is definitely a great radio hit that appeals to the masses, and it is very easy and fun to sing along to! It also closes out an epic album on a high note.

Disc Two features a few select remixes, standouts being Born This Way (The Country Road Version) and Scheiße (DJ White Shadow Mugler). I normally tend to avoid remixes over 8 minutes long, especially if they are repetitive but Scheiße is just so hypnotic that I cannot resist!

If you made it this far, I very much appreciate you! This is definitely a legendary pop album, and it was a lot of fun experiencing the anticipation at the time and everything else that has happened to solidify this album's legacy since.

[roo-bastmoon]

How to help Jimin this week

This is for US/PR ARMYs. International puppykitties, please keep going with whatever you know works in your countries. Fighting!

So last week, you might have bought Jimin's two physical albums and/or digital versions at Target, Amazon, iTunes, and WeVerse. And when the alternative covers for the digital album dropped on the BTS US store, maybe you got those too. If you didn't? Please do that by this Wednesday night at the latest.

So what happens this week, to avoid free fall?

Welp, you can buy the digital album on Qobuz using your Facebook login if you want, it's very easy. You can go pick up the 4 physical single CDs from the BTS US Store, if you wanna do that.

You definitely should make use of Jimin Funds, which will help you use PayPal, or you can go buy your own gift cards (pre-paid VISA or iTunes gift cards), and then you make new emails and just pick up the 5 digital versions of Like Crazy, which cost a whopping $3.70 all told. You can do this on iTunes and the BTS US store!

You should sign up for free trial premium streaming if you haven't already with Apple, Amazon, Spotify, and YouTube--and then a JRJ-OT7 Face-focused playlist should be playing on your computers, tablets, phones, and smart TVs 24/7 this week. On Spotify, you swamp accounts after 20 plays and on YouTube you swap accounts after 50 plays. Remember you can buy a song for 69 cents or you can play a song 150 times on a premium account.

And you need to tweet or call your local radio stations and politely ask for them to play Like Crazy English Version every morning and every evening.

Finally, please turn on notification for VoteforPJM and follow their instructions. You'll want to watch videos every day on the idol apps (Mubeat, FanStar, IdolChamp, etc.) so you can gather up free tickets to vote for Jimin to win awards. TMI? I literally do this when I go to the bathroom. I'm a captive audience anyway and it only takes a few minutes.

Listen...

I know you're tired. I know it's been a hell of a week. I know we have other members we will need to support soon. But from now until April 21, we fight and fight hard.

When you get tired, remember that Jimin used to diet until he passed out. Jimin used to work in the studio until 4am and then go to school at 6:30am and get straight A's. Jimin used to go on world tours while also getting his BA and MA and being a UN ambassador. Despite COVID and appendicitis and mail tampering and apartment seizure and death threats, Jimin worked hard on concerts and his album and Expo duties--even falling asleep in the studio most nights. For 10 long months, Jimin quietly took his pain and his loneliness and he turned it into art. He coded and he hid a love track... and he paid to do music shows and did fan calls... all for fans because he had something to share with us... and those of us who love him clearly see what he meant us to.

He did all this, and he made history. And the first thing he did was come live to credit BTS and ARMY.

Of course ARMY will have his back now, right?