#we were out so late like it was 12:45 by the time i got home </3 not great for la sleep schedule but i had fun!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gretavangroupie · 1 year

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Vigilance (Chapter 12)

Word count: 30.2k (I know...)

Pairings: Sam x OC, Jake x Reader

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, smoking, language, fluff, angst, smut.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.

A/N: This chapter has to be broken into two parts thanks to Tumblr's character limits. I know this is a long one, but I hope you can stick with it until the end and then read part two! I promise this will be the only one that is this long. We will go back to our regular sized chapters next week. Enjoy!

STRANGE HORIZONS: CHICAGO

ONE DAY BEFORE SHOW

HER POV

You

10:40am: Good morning! The interview with 95.5 is at 12:30, so let’s meet in the lobby at 11:45.

Sam

10:41am: I’ll be there.

Josh

10:45am: Got it

Daniel

10:46am: Thanks

Nothing. Nothing from Jake. Not that you expected it. It had been a week of silence, from both of you really. Keeping true to your word you had kept things strictly professional. Only addressing him in the group text, and only about work. You and Jake hadn’t physically spoken since that night, and you didn’t know if you ever would. You had essentially left him again. You weren’t sure he would ever forgive you. You hoped he understood the position you were in, but every time you’d seen him since, it wasn’t understanding written across his face. It was pain. Hurt. Rejection.

But you felt it too. It was just the same for you. Having to choose your career over your personal life, but unfortunately love didn’t pay your rent. You loved this job, sure, but you also needed this job. The worst part was that you needed Jake too, but you knew you couldn’t have both.

So this is how it was now. Silence. You both knew that it was all or nothing, and you finally reached that nothing point. It was crippling. Thankfully the last few days had been filled with travel and meetings, so there was very little down time to be lost in your feelings. But almost like your saving grace, Elle was back, and you finally had someone you felt like you could confide in. Although you couldn’t help but feel bad knowing that you and Sam had continued seeing each other while he was very obviously talking to her again. Was she okay with it? Did she even know? You knew you would have alone time with her today during the interview, and finding Sam to ask him was at the top of your priority list.

You spent much of the next hour primping yourself nervously in the bathroom mirror. It had been like this every time you stepped out of the room lately. Doing your best to hide the dark circles and puffy eyes making a permanent home on your face. Each night you spent alone in the dark hotel bed, crying yourself to sleep seemed worse than the last. You hoped it would get easier, but it didn’t. And spending every single day near him made it worse. Seeing him just as torn up as you were was killing you. Both of you.

Giving yourself one last glance in the mirror, you grabbed your purse and your iPad, closing the hotel room door behind you. You made your way to the lobby, meeting up with Josh and Daniel. Checking the time on your phone you waited anxiously for the others to come down, and slowly they did. First Summer, followed by Elle and Sam, and finally Jake. He looked exhausted, fresh out of the shower, dark sunglasses covering his eyes that were probably just as sunken in as yours were. Not that you would know, since he wouldn’t look at you.

As everyone assembled together, you turned to face them, hoping they took no notice of your less than normal appearance. “Okay, the van is outside waiting for us, so we can head that way.” you said, letting Josh lead the way.

You watched as they all followed, Jake walking with his hands in his pockets and head turned towards the ground. You could tell he had been living in his head the past few days, and it was all your fault. God, why does it hurt so bad to do the right thing?

Sam and Elle pass by, and you nod your head to Sam to pull him away discreetly as you walk with them. He pulls back a bit, giving you a little distance from Elle, “What’s up, how are you doing?” he asks, already knowing the answer to that question.

“Not good Sammy, just one foot at a time, I guess. Hey, have you…talked to Elle…about…” you trail off into a whisper.

“Not yet…everything is just so good, you know? I’m nervous about it…I know I need to.” he says, full of anxiety.

“Sam, you have to tell her. I am going to be spending a lot of time with her now…tell her. Please.” you beg.

“Okay. I will. Are you taking care of yourself?” he asks, with a raised eyebrow.

“Probably not like I should be.” you answered.

“We talked about this…” he whispers.

“I know…I’m trying.” you reply.

“Okay. I’m just glad you’re still here.” he says, walking faster to catch up with Elle.

“You know I wouldn’t leave you guys, no matter how bad it hurts.” you say.

“It doesn’t have to, Y/N. You’ve made it this way.” he says, ending the conversation as he throws his arm around Elle’s shoulders.

And he was right. You did make it this way. But you didn’t see any other way it could be.

—

The drive to the radio station wasn’t too long, in reality it should have only taken 10 minutes, but with traffic, it was closer to 25. You sat next to the window, as usual, Sam on your right side, deep in conversation with Elle.

Thinking back, you felt like you should have known it was Elle all along. The way his smile would light up when his phone would ring, the not so sneaky texts…It was right in front of you but you were too caught up with Jake to notice. You were happy it was her, you missed her these last few years, feeling like that relationship got stripped away from you too in the aftermath of everything back then.

She tried to reach out to you a few times after you left, but you knew that you couldn’t tell her anything without it getting back to the guys. She was loyal to a fault, and you felt it was better if she didn’t know anything at all. When she stepped out of the bathroom that morning you were stunned. You thought maybe your sleepless night on the floor had made you totally delusional, but it hadn’t. It was her, in the flesh.

The only words you could speak were her name, over and over as she rushed over to you, full of happiness and hugs, like no time had passed at all. Sam was positively beaming, and it suddenly became clear why he had been so distant the past few weeks.

“Y/N, I can’t believe it’s you! You’re…you’re real and you’re here!” she cheered.

“She had a bit of a rough night, she was just coming to talk about it and make sure I was awake.” Sam said.

“I am so happy to see you Elle, you have no idea. I do need to go make sure the other guys are up so I’m gonna run, but you and I are gonna catch up okay?” you said.

She pulled you in for another hug, almost teary as she spoke, “You promise? I’ll see you soon?” she asked.

“I promise.” you smiled, and with that you stepped away and walked out the door.

She was truly the ray of sunshine in your life during such a dark and stormy time, and you hoped your fling with Sam wouldn’t ruin the friendship you so desperately wanted to rebuild with her.

As the van pulled to a stop outside the radio station offices, the guys began to step out, leaving you to get out last, thanking the driver.

“Okay…” you said checking your schedule, “...Floor 7, office 176.” you said, ushering them all inside.

You rode the elevator up, and it was completely silent, everyone feeling like they needed to walk on eggshells around you and Jake. You felt bad for interfering with their normal dynamic, but this just further proved your point that this was exactly why that clause in the contract existed.

Walking down the long hallway you found the correct office, letting the guys make their introductions and converse with the host of the show. Their time slot was an hour long, and you had emails to catch up on, so once they were settled you excused yourself to the lobby to get a little bit of work in. Elle followed you out, pulling her phone from her purse.

“I think there is a Starbucks downstairs…I’m gonna get a coffee, do you want one?” she asked.

Your eyes met hers, and you smiled, happy to be met with such a friendly face, “Please. Just plain black, nothing crazy. Thank you so much.”

“Be right back!” she called over her shoulder, leaving you in the empty hallway. You glanced around spotting a couch and decided to park yourself there, opening your emails. The first one, flagged as urgent, was from Allison.

Allison: FWD: RAIN SHOW

Y/N,

I’m sure you have your eye on the weather, but just in case… I don’t remember us going over rain show procedures. I will attach the document to this email for reference. Make sure you inform the tech crew that you will be running rain show format, even if it looks like it may not storm. Better to be prepared.

PS: You’re killin’ it! I have heard nothing but great things. Told you, you could do this.

Allison Harper

Senior Production Coordinator

Collective Artist Management

ATT:RainshowPro.PDF

You opened the document, reading over the special procedures and precautions taken for a rain show, making sure to send it to all of the technicians and crew so they could get a head start on the set up. You hadn’t really thought about the weather, living with your own personal rain cloud over your head, but thankfully Allison had your back. If she only knew…

A few minutes later Elle was bounding down the hallway, with two coffees in her hands.

“Look at you…” she smiled. “Who knew all those years ago you’d be here running the show for them.”

“Not me, that’s for sure!” you laughed, accepting the warm white cup.

“How did all of this happen anyways? Sam gave me the bare minimum details of course.” she said, shaking her head.

“Well, my senior year I applied for an internship and I got it. Had to move to Nashville and everything. I started the internship at Collective Artist Management in January or February, then a few months later I had to work a label release event and wouldn’t you know Josh was there. I swear I never thought I would see him again. I thought I was hallucinating. We got to talking and he invited me out for drinks. After that I guess he called Collective and requested me to work on this tour for them. At first I tried every single thing I could think of to get out of it. Things between Jake and I were left…well… you know. So the thought of working with him everyday was daunting. I was not ready to deal with all of that.” you paused.

“But I wanted it. I wanted this job, it’s what I worked towards for years. I couldn’t say no. I even put off telling them all until the absolute last minute. Sam and Danny didn’t find out until the day before we left for the first show. I figured everything would be okay, I mean, Jake was with Sophia…” you said as she cut you off.

“Oh my god you met her?” she asked, shocked.

“Yeah, kind of, it wasn’t the best interaction…” you answer.

“Her and Jake had only just started dating when Sam and I ended things…I didn’t get to know her too well, but there was… something off about her…” Elle said, staring off into space.

“Well…she was…cheating on Jake… that could have been it.” you said, with mock laughter.

“What?!” she said, nearly spilling her coffee.

“Did Sam tell you anything?” you ask, laughing.

“Apparently not!” she replies.

“Well, Sam and I caught her out at a bar one night. She was all over some guy. We watched them leave together and everything. We decided to tell Jake the next day. After a massive fight in front of us, he ended things on the spot.” you say, replaying the memory in your head.

“Shit…So then you two got together…” she asks.

“Well, no…” you say as she sends you a puzzled look.

“Y/N…Sam has told me almost nothing about what is going on with you and Jake. I’ve been back for all of about five minutes and even I can see that man still loves you. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but when you’re ready I’m here.” she offers.

“It’s… a lot, things were starting to get better between us, but… now they’re bad again. Worst they’ve ever been. We both want to be with each other, but my contract forbids it. He wants me to ignore it, but I can’t. So, I walked away from him, again. I just can’t lose this job, Elle.”

“But you can lose Jake?” she asks.

You swallow harshly, as you hear the words spoken aloud. “I…I don’t know what other option I have.”

“This job isn’t forever Y/N, but Jake is. You can find another job, but you’ll never find another man who loves you like he does.” she says, placing her hand on your arm, her touch comforting you much in the same way Sam’s does. They truly were one in the same.

“I feel like my hands are tied. I can’t quit, they are right in the middle of the tour. And I can’t breach my contract, or they will fire me and I'll have no job.” you say.

“How would they know? Are they here?” she asks.

“Well, no, but…” you start.

“Okay then.” she says, raising her eyebrow challengingly.

You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking over her words. It was true, there wasn’t anyone here to see what went on.

“I don’t know Elle…” you whine.

“You love him, right?” she asks, as you sheepishly nod your head in response.

“Okay. So you do know.” she smiles.

“I hurt him pretty bad. He won't even look at me.” you whisper.

“Do you want him to?” she asks with a smirk, sipping her coffee.

You sigh, picking at your nails. “Yeah. I just… want to know what he’s thinking. I’m scared I pushed him too far. That he’s written me off.” you confess.

She looks at you, laughing softly “Your name is the only one he ever wanted to write…” she says, her southern accent adding a little sweetness to her words.

You send her a desperate look, just as the door to the studio opened. You quickly collect yourself, and stand up to meet the guys as they step out into the hallway.

“We…. are ready for a beer…can we do that?” Josh asks.

You smile, “Oh, we’ve got time for that.”

—

You stand at the bartop watching as the bartender fills the frosted glasses to the brim, placing them on the counter one by one. The guys each step up grabbing the foamy glasses before taking off back to the outdoor patio. Sam and Elle linger with you as you wait to open the tab, sliding the card across the wet bartop.

“Keep it open please! Thank you!” you smile, the bartender nodding and accepting the card.

You grab your glass and walk with them back to the group, eyes cast downward. You had been actively avoiding joining them in activities like this, knowing that you would have no choice but to talk to Jake. As you approached the guys Elle spotted a cornhole board and squealed.

“Oh! Sam! Can we play?!” she asked excitedly, dragging him over to the wooden boards.

Suddenly feeling like a third wheel, you decide to let them enjoy some time alone together as you make your way over to where the rest of the guys were sitting.

“There she is…” Josh says, motioning you over to their table. The three of them were lounging in the cloud covered sun, talking over their beers, enjoying the afternoon off.

As you went to sit down, Jake stood up, grabbing his empty glass and heading back inside. You couldn’t help but feel like your presence was unwanted, and your face showed it.

Josh, noticing the awkward feeling in the air, stood to join him, “Actually, I’m gonna grab another one too, be right back.”

You turn your attention to Daniel, who is reading a text on his phone, and even through his sunglasses you can see the crease in his brow.

You place your hand on his shoulder, “You okay?” you ask.

He breathes heavily out of his nose, locking his phone and setting it on the table as he crosses his leg over his knee. “Honestly? No.” he answers.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” you ask.

He looks over his shoulder, seeing who was around as you see him relax into his seat. “I just…I haven’t seen Heidi in weeks. She promised she was going to come to this show tomorrow, and now… something has come up and she can't make it. An emergency or something. I have been looking forward to it for weeks.” he said, focusing on the condensation on his glass, dragging his finger through the wet droplets.

“But I was just looking at Instagram and she is posting about hanging out with her friends… Just seems like maybe she didn’t really want to come and has been lying about wanting to be here the whole time.” he says.

“Oh gosh Danny… I…I don’t know what to say. I mean, the two of you have been together for a really long time. Surely she wouldn’t lie to you?” you say.

“I don’t know. Things have been… different lately. I’m different…well, feeling different. I feel like I am starting to come into my own, you know? It just feels like we are growing apart, or whatever. I know that sounds cliche…” he laughs nervously.

“No, I totally get that. Sometimes a little distance can help you see things clearer.” you offer.

“I just…I’m really proud of this music we are making, and I wanted her to see it in action… I don’t know. I’m just disappointed. I feel like everyone has someone here for them, except me.” he says, defeatedly.

Hearing the sadness in his voice made you really consider how lucky you were to be here to see them play each show. Watching them, encouraging them and helping them bring their dreams to reality.

“Danny! I’m here for you! What do you mean?!” you ask.

A soft giggle leaves his chest, “Not like that Y/N, like… Sam has Elle, Jake has you, Josh has… well, himself.” he laughs.

You pick at your nails as you let his words sink in, ‘Jake has you…’ But he doesn’t. You don’t have each other at all.

“Jake doesn’t have me Danny. I think I…messed everything up again. We can hardly be in the same room together…You saw.” you said, gesturing to the bar.

He nods his head, “I have… noticed a bit. But I know him Y/N, and he is just licking his wounds. He’s hurt and confused…You know, I’m sure you feel the same way.” he says.

“It’s different when you’re the one that always does the hurting. When you’re the one that has to watch them break, and beg you not to go. Then having to spend every day with him, seeing him like this… I’m just trying to do the right thing and do my job. Is it hard to do that right now? Yes. Do I wish I could just run away? Yeah. But I don’t have a choice. I have to stay. I have to see this through. I’m hurting just as bad as he is, but I am feeling like no one really wants me around, because then Jake is in a bad mood. I lose either way.” you say.

He nods his head, “Well, you know I always want you around. You’re my friend too, not just my coordinator.”

“I know, I know, you’re my friend too Danny, and I am really sorry about Heidi. I hope you two can find some common ground. Hate to see this pretty face looking so sad.” you say, mockingly pinching his cheeks.

“Maybe… I just… feel like I am ready for a change. Whatever that may be.” he smiles. “Enough sappy shit, you want another beer?�� he asks, holding up your empty glass.

You smile and shake your head, “Alright, just one more.”

—

A few hours later you’re standing in the full length mirror of your hotel room, pulling the zipper up on your dress. Sam had insisted on the restaurant tonight, claiming it was the ‘best food in Chicago’, even though he’s only been twice. It was an overly nice place at the top of a skyscraper. The mere thought of being 95 stories in the air made you nauseous, but you’d do it for him. Sam practically cried when you told him you were able to book reservations last week, and he has been talking about it since you left Bridgeport.

Happy with your appearance you smooth out the cobalt blue fabric across your waist, and toss your waves over your shoulder. Grabbing your purse you made your way downstairs, of course being the first one there. You sat nervously in the lobby waiting for the rest of them to show up, wondering what their version of cocktail attire would consist of.

One by one they made their way down, each of them looking more dapper than the previous one. You could hardly tell that they had been living out of a suitcase for the past two weeks. When Sam and Elle stepped out of the elevator the smile on your face grew tenfold.

“Well don’t you just look gorgeous…” Elle said, pulling you in for a hug.

You blush at her compliment as you hug her, locking eyes with Sam standing behind her, watching as he nods his head in agreement.

“I’m just trying to keep up with you! You always look…perfect!” you say letting her twirl back into Sam’s arms.

As the smiles and laughter began to trail off the elevator opened and the once happy feeling in your body turned to shock. Out stepped Jake, hands in his pockets, sunglasses resting on his nose, and clothed in what had to be the most gorgeous custom linen suit you’d ever seen.

Off white in color, in a relaxed fit, that hit him in just the right places, he was breathtakingly handsome. Your eyes frantically combed him over, taking in the way his tanned skin looked against the light fabric, the contrast of his partially buttoned black shirt underneath the coat, the way his hair fell onto the lapels of the jacket in perfect brown waves…You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. You didn’t want to.

His eyes met yours, and you’re sure you felt your heart stop. He hadn’t looked at you all day, and you wondered if he was doing the same thing you were, taking in every inch. You wondered if he felt the same way too.

You quickly blinked looking away from him, but Sam saw you, tossing you a knowing smirk. You cut your eyes at him as you turned to lead the way to the Uber waiting for you outside.

—

The ride up the elevator was long. Ninety-five floors long. All of you crammed into one small elevator, with nothing but the sound of the classical music pumping through the tiny blown out speaker overhead. You couldn’t see him, but you could smell him. That cologne, the one he knew you liked, wafting through the enclosed space and right into your nose. You swallowed harshly as you tried to push down the memory of his lips on yours just a few days ago and the way you smelled that cologne on your skin for the rest of the night.

The doors opened and you all stepped out, heading to the host stand and giving her the name on the reservation. You were led to a long skinny table covered in white cloth and shining silver cutlery. You hesitated taking a seat, wanting to sit as far as possible from Jake, but as the seats filled you were left with the worst possible options. Summer sat at the far end of the table next to Daniel and across from Josh. Sam and Elle took the other end of the table, leaving the two seats in the middle for you and Jake.

Taking the seat directly across from him you knew this was going to be a long night. How were you supposed to not look at him? Especially when he looked like that?

You placed your purse over the back of the chair, and immediately grabbed for the drink menu in front of you, just as Jake reached for it too. His eyes met yours just for a second before he retreated, letting you take the menu first, but not without muttering something under his breath.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, just from the small interaction and you quickly glanced over the menu, selecting a drink and placing the menu back on the table, for Jake. You told yourself this would not be a repeat of last time, opting for something a little less strong this time around.

Elle sat next to you, and thankfully she immediately struck up a conversation about the show tomorrow, grabbing the attention of the others. You sat back in your chair and took a deep breath, as you impatiently waited for the waiter to take the drink orders. He finally made his way to you, and you sent him off with a shy smile.

As the conversation started up again you let your eyes travel to him, and you watched him as he spoke, perfect and precise, every word spoken with intention. He always was a listener, only speaking when he felt he had something important to add. You liked that about him. You spun your rings around on your fingers, fidgeting nervously as you suddenly felt out of place, not wanting to interject yourself in conversations, and not really being in a position to start your own.

The waiter appeared with everyone’s drinks, saving you from your own awkward feelings. You began sipping on the lilac colored drink, feeling the alcohol begin to swirl through your bloodstream. Hopefully this will take the edge off. You peeked over to Jake, who still hadn’t looked at you since the drink menu moment, and watched him as he sipped his bourbon from the glass. The way he held the glass with his thumb and middle finger, casually bringing it to his lips as he listened to Josh talk, causing your heart to lurch in your chest.

You turned your attention to Elle, listening to her speak as you rested your head on your balled up fist. She was reminiscing on a memory from a few years ago, talking about one of the shows she went to with them overseas. You felt a pang in your chest at the thought of what it would have been like if you never left. You would have been there. Been part of this memory.

A quiet sigh left your lips as you sat back and stared down at your drink that was doing the bare minimum as far as taking the edge off. You let your mind wander as you watched the ice float around in the glass in front of you, twirling the straw around absentmindedly as you listened to all the chatter around you.

Jake readjusting in his chair snapped you from your daydreams, his eyes catching yours for just a second before looking down to his own glass, tossing back the rest of the amber liquid.

Then you felt it. His knee gently brushing yours under the table. Both of you looked at each other in panic.

He scoffed, clearly annoyed that it happened, but before you could say anything, his attention was turned back to Josh.

JAKE POV

Fuck.

As you sat watching Josh’s mouth move, you heard nothing. Your mind was filled with only thoughts of her and the way even the briefest touch of her knee had you spinning out. You could feel her eyes on you, begging you to look at her. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t. You wanted her to know how it felt to be rejected. To feel unwanted.

However, that was about the furthest from the truth. You spent every day of the last week completely consumed with thoughts of her. Thoughts of that night. Wondering what you could have done differently. What you could have said, that would have made her stay.

You’d been cold, and harsh, leaving every room she walked into. Never looking her way, never speaking to her, even actively ignoring her a few times, but still doing everything in your power to make sure she noticed you. But it was killing you. You weren’t sure how much longer you could do it. You knew one of you was going to break, and for once, just once, you wanted it to be her.

From the corner of your eye you saw her reaching for her bag, pulling the buzzing cell phone from inside before placing it to her ear..

“Hello?” she answered.

Sam turned, shooting a look your way in question. You shrugged your shoulders as you listened.

She pulls her phone away from her ear, typing away and zooming in on whatever she is looking at, her brow furrowing at her discovery.

“It’s on the pack out inventory sheet from last week. It should be there.” she says, confused. She shakes her head and closes her eyes as she listens to them speak.

“And they aren't in the gator box we keep in the back of the tech set up?” she asks, shock laced in her tone.

“I swear I saw them in that box in Bridgeport? Maybe check with Jenn, I think she ha–” she stops.

She runs her hand through her hair before resting her forehead into her palm. She pulls the phone away from her ear, seemingly to check the time, before returning it to her ear.

She sighs as she closes her eyes, “Okay…Yeah…I can… I’ll call you when I get there. Okay. Okay, bye.”

She takes a deep breath, placing her phone back into her bag, and pulling it from the chair.

“Is everything okay?” Josh asks.

“No…I have to go. Something is missing and no one can find it. But I know it was on the inventory sheet from last week.” she says, pushing her chair out to stand. “Just put this on the 6672 card you have okay?” she says to Josh, standing and throwing her purse over her shoulder.

“Wait no, let me go with you. You shouldn’t go alone. It’s late.” Josh offers, standing up.

You snap your head over to Josh, sending him daggers with your eyes, “No. Sit down, Josh. She works for us, not the other way around.”

“Right, but she’s also our friend Jacob.” he says sternly.

“No. Not anymore. She’s our employee. One that is currently not doing her job as she sits here watching us.” you snap.

He sends you a puzzled look, remaining standing.

“Eat first…” Josh offers, looking to her, “I’m sure it can wait just a few minutes…”

“No. I think she should go now. I’m sure there are craft services at the venue. If she remembered to do it.” you say.

“Jake.” Sam snaps, as you throw daggers his way.

“At least call the driver to come pick you up, you can eat while you wait for him.” Josh says.

You look over to her, and harden your face, delivering your words with venom, “No. She can take an Uber. It’s not our job to take care of her, she’s a professional. Isn’t that right Y/N?”

“Jake, I don–” Josh starts before you cut him off.

“Sit the fuck down Josh.” you seethe, before turning to look at her.

“What are you waiting for? Go.” nodding your head to the door. You watch her breath catch in her throat, completely caught off guard by your hostility.

“Jake…” she breathes.

You look away from her, grabbing your drink and taking a sip as you hold it towards the door in suggestion.

The table falls silent, all turning to look at her. Her eyes well with tears that she swallows down, before nodding and turning to leave. You watched her walk through the large wooden doors as you tossed back the entirety of your second drink. That was it. The first words you’ve spoken to her all week and you knew she was never going to speak to you again after that.

God, her face…

“Are you fucking serious?” Elle spat.

You turned to face her, crossing your arms across your chest, shrugging your shoulders.

“Goddamn, Jake…” Sam says, completely and rightfully disgusted with you. His eyes are full of hatred as he stares you down. You're positive you’ve never seen him so mad.

“If that’s how you treat her, I wouldn’t want to be with you either!” she says, Sam throwing an arm over her shoulder in agreement.

She runs her hands over her head, “We are in one of the most dangerous cities in America, and you let her leave? Alone? At this hour? For what, Jake? For what reason? To get a point across? I think you made it. She is just doing her job...A job you’re lucky she is even still here to do. You don’t have to make her miserable on top of it.” she seethes, shaking her head in disgust.

It hadn’t even occurred to you that something could happen to her as you sent her away. It took everything in you to not bolt out that door right then and find her. Your mind started to race with possible scenarios, each one worse than the last.

Turning your attention to the other side of the table, you overhear Summer talking to Danny.

“What did she mean by that?” she asks.

Fuck.

Daniel, turns to her and whispers, “Nothing you need to worry about.”

She looks at you, cutting her eyes before looking away to talk to Josh.

The waiter arrived with plates of food, setting each dish at their respective seat. Guilt shooting through you as you watch her plate be delivered to the empty space. Suddenly your appetite was gone, disappearing just as quickly as she did.

She really was just doing her job, and tonight her job was making sure that you had everything you needed to do yours. Even if that meant skipping dinner. She would do that, for you.

You picked at your plate of food, letting Elle’s words bounce around in your head. She was right, you had pushed it too far. The guilt was heavy, crushing down on you harder with each second that passed. A few drinks later you saw the waiter come back to collect plates, hers sitting cold and untouched.

As he went to pick it up you spoke, “Can that be put in a box?”

“Certainly, I’ll be right back with that for you.” he answered, picking up the plate, and you thanked him with a nod.

Josh elbowed you gently in the ribs, leaning into your ear, “You’re not a very good actor you know.”

“Not all of us spent our formative years in the theater department.” you quipped with an eyebrow raise.

“You can act like you hate her all you want, but I know you’re going out of your mind worrying about her right this very second.”

“I should have let you go with her. I shouldn’t have said all that. Fuck.” you reply, shaking your head.

“Come to my room when we get back.” he said, raising his pinched pointer and thumb towards his lips in suggestion. You nodded and finished your drink, knowing that Josh was going to pry your feelings out of you with a little bit of weed, whether you liked it or not.

—

The Uber ride back to the hotel was silent. You could feel Sam’s eyes boring holes into the back of your head the entire way. You knew you pissed him off talking to her that way, and as you sat there holding the togo box of food she never got to eat, you didn’t blame him. You were out of line, and you put her at risk. All because you wanted to hurt her.

Hurt her like she hurt you.

But as your eyes scanned the streets looking for her on the way back, it wasn’t vindication that you were feeling, it was nausea. What if something did happen to her? You’d never forgive yourself.

The Uber pulled up at the hotel, letting you all out, and as everyone made their way to the elevator you stopped at the front desk and were greeted by the friendly desk attendant.

“Hi, I was wondering if there was any way I could get this sent up to someone's room?” you ask, setting the bag on the desk.

“Someone in your party?” she asks.

“Oh, yeah. Yes. She’s in room… 917.” you say, thanking yourself for finding out the day you checked in.

“Alright, I will make it happen.” she smiles back at you.

“Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.” you reply, walking away and heading to the elevator.

You pull your phone from your pocket, seeing a text from Josh.

Josh

10:49pm: You coming? 1006

You

10:54pm: Yeah

You step onto the elevator selecting floor ten, and stare off into space as it begins its climb. The doors open and you step into the hallway, walking the short distance to his room, and rapping your knuckles on the door a few times.

“Finally, fuck.” he says, swinging the door open.

“It’s been like five fuckin’ minutes…” you answer stepping inside the room. “Wait, your room has a balcony? Fucking front man treatment.” you say, shaking your head.

He grabs the joint and the lighter he had waiting on the dresser and leads the way to the balcony. The air was thick and dense, you could tell the rain was going to drop at any moment. You sat down in the black metal chair, crossing your leg over your knee.

You watch as Josh places the joint between his lips, bringing his hand up to light the tip, shielding the wind with his other hand. He inhales, as he lights it, the cherry beginning to glow bright red and the air starting to fill with the familiar aroma.

He passes it to you, and you hold it to your lips, taking a long drag to fill your lungs. You hand it back to him, and let the smoke billow into the air around you.

“She’s fine you know…” Josh says, staring out at the cars passing ten stories below.

“How do you know?” you ask.

“Don’t you think someone would have called one of us by now if she wasn’t?” he says.

“Hmmm…” you hum, taking the joint back from him. You take another long inhale, considering his words.

You blow out the smoke with a sigh, “I fucked up. I shouldn’t have said that shit to her. I know how she’s feeling right now and I did it anyway. I’ve been torturing her all week.” you say, seeing a drop of rain start to fall.

“She kind of deserves it Jake…I mean, come on. How long is she gonna string you along?” he pauses, “She’s got you all fucked up. You’re in a shit mood, and everyone feels like they have to walk on eggshells around the two of you… She needs to either cut you loose, or quit this job and be with you. Those are the options.”

“I don’t think it’s that fucking simple Josh. She can’t just quit. We’d be fucked. And I don’t think she can ‘cut me loose’ that easily. I know I sure as fuck couldn’t.” You say, a cough leaving your chest.

Josh passes the dwindling joint back to you, “I’m just saying, I would be pissed if I were you. I’d probably be acting the same way. Her giving and taking every other week is exhausting. I can feel it affecting you, it’s fucking affecting me too. I am just wondering if maybe I was wrong about bringing her on. I figured you two would get back together almost immediately. The whole, ‘don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’ thing…I thought after all this time apart from each other you two would have figured it out by now.”

The fuck?

You stub out the roach in the small plastic ashtray, before turning towards him, “That’s the thing Josh. I did know what I had. I always knew. I never wasted a single second I had with her. I begged her not to go, the first time, and this time. But there was nothing I could do. I had to watch her leave. So yeah, I guess not knowing what you have until it’s gone can hurt, but I think that knowing what you have and watching it walk away from you hurts even worse.”

“So if that’s how you really feel, why are you trying to hurt her?” he asks.

“I’m not trying to hurt her. I just…” you pause, taking a deep breath, “Well, I guess maybe I am. I just want her to feel how I feel for once.”

“Do you think the pain she felt of having to leave you, for the second time, wasn’t enough? If not more painful than the first time?” he asks.

You hadn’t considered that. You couldn’t even imagine how bad it must have hurt to say those words again. To leave you standing in that hallway, begging her not to go.

You drop your head into your hands, “Fuck, man. I don’t know if this is salvageable.”

“I think it is. I think you just need to tell her one more time, exactly how you feel, in a way no one but her will understand.” he says, standing to walk back into the room.

“How?” you ask, following him inside.

He throws himself backwards onto his bed, and sighs, “I think you know. It’s been a while…but, I think you know.”

You let out a sigh as you realize what he’s saying. “I…don’t know if I can do it.” you say.

“I know you can.” he answers.

It’s quiet for a minute as you think about it.

You lean against the dresser, pushing your hands into your pockets, “You know, that night…after dinner last week…I walked her to her room.” you start.

“Yeah…” he says, sitting up on his elbows.

“She was…gone. I helped her get into bed. It felt so normal…doing that kind of stuff for her.” you paused. “She was out of it, she had no idea what she was saying…she asked me to stay. Lay with her for a while, and…I couldn’t help myself. So I did.”

“Oh shit, you didn’t tell me this…” he says, listening intently.

“We were just laying there in the dark, and all the sudden she asked me to play ‘her song’ for her. I didn’t know which one she meant, but I had a feeling. I just…wanted to hear her say it. She did…she said it makes her cry, Josh. Fucking killed me. So I hummed it for her as she drifted off to sleep next to me. Asked me if I would play it for her one day, and I told her I would. I didn’t want to leave, but I knew I had to. So I leaned over and told her I was going…” you paused running a hand through your hair.

“She told me she loved me.” you finish.

Josh nods his head, “And you left? Did you say it back?”

You nodded your head, “No, I didn’t say it. And she didn’t remember any of it the next morning anyways.”

“Shit.” he replied.

“So, yeah. I think you’re right. I think we should play it. Tomorrow.” you say.

“Done.” he answers.

“See you in the morning?” you ask, walking towards the door.

“Later.” he replies as you let the door swing shut behind you.

—

Walking back to your room was hazy, the only clear thing in your mind was her. Did she get there okay? Was she back now? You check the time on your phone. 11:58. Surely she was back by now?

You held the keycard to your door, hearing it unlock and twisting the handle. You stepped inside, the room cold and dark in the midnight hour. You switched on the lamp on the bedside table, and deposited your phone and wallet before stripping down. You plugged in your phone, and climbed right into the bed, ready for the night to be over, but your mind was still racing.

You opened Instagram, and started flicking through videos, anything to take your mind off of her, and it was a nice temporary reprieve. That is, until you saw a video of a shooting star. You watched as it flew through the dark sky, streaking past the twinkling stars around it, glowing brightly until it finally burned out. It reminded you of that night at the lake. Laying on the picnic table sharing secrets for the first time in years. Finally feeling close to her, after years of distance.

You hit share on the post, typing her name into the recipient box, and delivering it to her phone. You hoped it would bring back the same memory for her. You typed a quick ‘I’m Sorry’ and sent that along with it.

You watched as the message turned from delivered, to read right before your eyes. You waited for a few minutes to see if a reply would come, but it didn’t.

You

12:20am: You don’t have to forgive me, but can you just tell me if you made it back?

12:24am: I did.

You

12:25am: Thank you

12:28am: It’s not your job to take care of me.

A defeated sigh leaves your chest as you read her text, a stab to your own chest by your own words.

You

12:29am: I’m sorry.

As your message sits on read, you realize she isn’t going to reply, and you place your phone on the nightstand. You turn off the light and roll to your side, hugging a pillow close to your chest. Tomorrow you’d tell her, in the best way you knew how, how much you loved her, and you hoped it would be enough.

NIGHT ONE

SAM POV

You opened your eyes to see Elle’s looking back at you, the glittering of her irises vibrant in the morning sun. She peered up at you from underneath her long lashes, still thick with makeup from the night before. A sweet grin emerged on her face as she scanned over your features quickly, her eyes bouncing around as if she was seeing you for the very first time.

Her cheeks blushed the prettiest shade of pink when she noticed you taking her in all the same, and her nose scrunched into an expression you could only read as bashfulness. Light freckles peppered her nose, and her dark locks had fallen into the prettiest set of waves from sleeping on her curls. Just from looking at her, you felt your chest become physically warm, your heart flipping into a feeling of tender familiarity swirled with the uncertainty of something new. You knew right then and there that waking up to her every day was becoming one of the best parts of your life. Your sweet Elle had come back to you.

“Good morning.” She said through an impending yawn.

“Morning sunshine. How did you sleep?” You responded, her contagious yawn finding you next.

She rolled over closer to you, placing her hand on your face and brushing stray hairs away.

“Better than I have in a really long time.” She smiled hard, meeting your gaze with the most sincere softness in her voice.

There was a true happiness growing inside you, one that you couldn’t explain. Having her back in your life was unexpected, to say the least, but nonetheless truly welcomed. There was something authentic about Elle; she was the kind you just didn’t find very often. There was nothing fake or forced about her. She was selfless, intelligent, and extremely driven. She knew a little something about everything, and she cherished every single person in her life more than she cherished herself. She was a bit hardened, coming from a life that was less than ideal. But she never let it stand in the way of the person she’d become as an adult. She learned from her loved ones’ mistakes, and aimed her life in the exact opposite direction.

She also knew more about music than even you did, which was one of the biggest things that made you fall for her in the first place. Constantly impressing you with her natural talents and abilities. She never once gave you the feeling that she was just around because of who you were, and what your profession was. She simply liked the person you were, and she never let you forget that.

You were so much alike that you’d butt heads, her southern Georgia twang coming out to play when you’d argue. You’d never tell her you liked getting her worked up just to hear her talk like that. You’d loved her hard before, and you felt no shame in allowing yourself to feel the same feelings once more, even as quickly as everything seemed to be happening. Not quite love, again. But an enormous sense of pride just being in her presence. She deserved the world.

But, in the back of your mind, there was a nagging feeling of guilt. You had to tell her about you and Y/N. It wasn’t fair to her to be in the dark about it, especially with how close everyone was.

You sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard and pulling the covers up over your chest. You prepared yourself for what was sure to be an awkward conversation.

“Elle, I gotta tell you something.” You finally said, your heart beating in your ears.

She turned and sat up too, sitting on her knees and facing you. “What’s wrong hun? Everything okay?” She placed a grounding hand on your leg.

“Yeah. Yes, everything is fine. Well, I hope...” you scratched the back of your head, taking a deep breath. “A while ago, when we found out Y/N lived in Nashville, I was in kind of a weird place mentally. Nothing bad or wrong just, you know…Weird? Anyways, we kind of… Really started to rekindle our friendship, her coming back was such a surprise to all of us, you remember the story.” You readjusted yourself in the bed for the next part.

“Anyways, we umm…We really missed each other. It’d been so many years. We were still practically kids when she disappeared.”

You brought your eyes to hers. “We…umm. We slept together for a few months, Elle. It never meant anything at all. We had so many conversations about how there were absolutely no feelings involved, it was purely physical. But we…haven’t, in a little while. When you and I started talking again, before you came out here with me, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with you and me...So, I didn’t want you to feel like I...I don’t know. I was lying to you. You deserve to know the truth.”

You were met with a blank and questioning stare, waiting for the tears, the recoil, the yelling…anything. You bit your lip and prepared yourself for the worst.

She reached her hand out and placed it on your cheek, “Sammy… Thanks for telling me.” she removed her hand, lacing it with yours, “Honestly I’m surprised it took you two into your adult lives before you finally slept together, as much chemistry as you have.”

What?

“Uh, wait really?” You were utterly confused.

“Yeah! It’s always been really evident to me. You guys were such good friends for so long. It was only a matter of time before you acted on it. Wait, did you think I’d be mad?” she asked.

You were too stunned to speak, words floating around in your head finally coming together, “Yeeaaahhhh, actually. I kind of expected some type of… reaction? You really aren’t upset?” you asked.

She looked at you sideways, “Uh, no Sam. Why would I be mad? You’re an adult. I wasn’t even here. You and I weren't together or anything... Even now, we’re just...hanging out again. Starting fresh, right? You don’t owe me any explanation of what happened when I left, or even when we first started talking again. We’ve both seen other people in the in-between, so I have absolutely no reason to be upset with you.” She playfully pushed your shoulder.

God, what a woman.

“Okay… Great then.” You pushed your hair back, feeling like you’d just had 500 pounds lifted from your shoulders. “I just...wanted to be honest with you. I know we’ve all been around each other a bit and I didn’t want things to be awkward, especially between you and Y/N. You guys used to be really close.” you said.

“Yeah, we did. We went through some shit together. I still love her. It’s so good to have her back, but things seem rough with her. Dinner was bad last night with her and Jake. I still can’t believe he said that to her.” She bit her lip, her mind wandering off in memory. “Did she know you were going to tell me about you two?” she asked.

“Well, we haven’t really had a chance to talk about it. It’s been so busy... You know how I said that her and Jake are trying to figure things out? It’s been really, really rough on both of them, where she works for us and all. The day she came to my room… in Bridgeport…while you were in the bathroom? She told me her and Jake had a huge fight the night before, and things were bad again. She came looking for some advice. I never got to give her any and judging from how weird things have been between them, and them both honestly looking like shit, I’m guessing things still aren’t good. Anyway, I will tell her that you and I talked today.” you responded, trying to sort everything out in your head. You knew Y/N still needed you. You left her a bit high and dry, but you knew that talk had a time and a place.

—

After talking with Elle, you felt a million times better about the situation. You couldn’t have asked for things to go more smoothly than they did. You did, though, start to feel a little guilty about not trying to talk to Y/N sooner. You knew she was really going through it. Jake, too. It was so unfair for both of them. You began to feel drawn to go to her, your best friend instincts kicking into high gear. You had to make her feel better. And Jake, too, if you could.

The trip to the venue was just as it always was...packing your gear into the vans, and rushing around to meet Y/N’s timelines. After the normal motions of getting settled, making sure Elle had her passes, and meeting up in the trailer, you were ready for a drink.

You watched as Y/N did her duties, radioing here and there, delivering setlists, and making sure everything was on time. She looked absolutely wrecked. You tried your best to shoot her reassuring smiles, trying to communicate with your eyes that you knew she still needed to talk, and that you would be here when you both got a chance. She returned your looks with half smiles, her eyes appearing blank and lifeless.

You popped the top on a seltzer, and walked over to the stage. You climbed the stairs and checked everything out, as you were first to arrive for once. You took another long sip of your drink, tipping it back as you looked up to the sky. It was cloudy, and the wind had just enough kick to it that you knew bad weather might be imminent. You took another sip.

How can I help them? What can I do?

Suddenly, a roadie walked by you, pointing up to the heavily clouded sky. “Looks like the weather is going to be wonderful tonight, huh?” He said sarcastically.

You lifted your can toward him. “Hope it is, Eric!”

You turned and walked back underneath the awning, heading straight for the piano, to play with Daniel a little bit while you waited for sound check. Then it hit you like a ton of bricks. Wonderful Tonight.

You and Y/N’s song. You could sound check it. Maybe she would remember. Maybe it would make her feel better. You sat on your bench, making adjustments to your sound as you saw Daniel walk onto the stage. You shot him a smile as your fingers came to a stop.

“Daniel, I need your help…”

—

Jake and Josh finally made their way to the stage, and you began your normal processes of checking sound. You communicated with the engineers to get everything sounding and feeling right, and after a few songs, you felt confident. The pre-show excitement always set in around this point; when you knew the sound was great, but that it would reverberate differently when the venue was filled with thousands of bodies. Getting the perfect sound, the ultimate atmospheric timbre that knocked you off your feet each and every time you heard it...that’s what made all of the work put in for sound check worth it.

When you finally felt satisfied, you looked to Daniel, giving him a nod. You leaned into your stage mic, and counted down quietly enough that only Daniel would hear.

“3, 2…”

Your B3 rang out in the perfect gospel-like tone, Danny in perfect time with you. You tried your best to layer the missing sound of the electric guitar on top of your keys, trying to make the song sound as whole and recognizable as you could. The slow and mellow sound of your song became more vibrant the longer you played.

Jake and Josh turned toward you simultaneously, not fully understanding why you were playing a random song off the top of your heads…together and in perfect time, no less. Josh spoke through your in-ear, “Something new you wanted to try, Sammy?” You smiled toward him, and he laughed under his breath, still unaware of your reasoning.

Just then, you looked past Jake to find Y/N sneakily walking up and hiding behind an amp, making sense of what was happening. She smiled sweetly at you as she realized. Jake lazily joined in, not being able to resist playing a tune by one of his earliest influences, but having no idea why it was being played.

Just seeing the look on her face was worth it. For the first time in days, she looked content. All it took was the tiniest bit of joy to find her again for her entire demeanor to change. Her eyes sparkled with relief, and adoration for you. You hoped that this act would speak to her in a way only you, her best friend, could.

You began to mouth the words to the last chorus to her, singing quietly as the sweet ballad began to come to a close. She peeked at you from her hiding place, eyes filled with tears. Happy tears. She blew you a kiss, and you caught it in your hand, opening your unbuttoned shirt and tucking it away for safekeeping. You may not have her heart, and she may not have yours, but you’d be damned if you didn’t try your best to protect it. Even if it was from your very own brother.

Evening was drawing near. At the end of sound check, you were on your way back through the narrow corridors of the venue to find Elle in the trailer when you were stopped in your tracks by a blindsiding embrace. Y/N. She held you close and tight, squeezing her arms completely around you. You returned it, the feeling of her hugging you instantly making you feel grounded. You squeezed her back, resting your chin on her head. You knew that she needed this right now…she needed you. You’d been absent from her for too long, and it was time you communicated.

You brought your arms up and down her back, massaging it lightly and stippling your fingers. You took in the feeling of the curvature of her body, letting your mind wander to relations past, but only for a second. The natural inclination to sink your hand down her lower back and cup her asscheek and thigh was almost too much to ignore, but you knew you had to. You couldn’t do that anymore.

Her breath was hot through your shirt, her tears soaking through the thin fabric with ease. You could feel her body begin to relax, perhaps an emotion she wasn’t too familiar with lately. Human touch… she was just happy to be in one of the safest places she’s ever known, right here with you. You began to sway as loud music played through the speakers, one of the songs from the band’s special playlist.

She swayed along with you for a minute, letting her entire body crash onto yours at as many points as possible. She stood on her tiptoes, readjusting her arms to now come up around your neck, pressing her face into the crook of yours, and you felt your heart flip. It’s been a while since she’s been this close. You leaned your head down to quickly kiss her temple, then her cheek, then dangerously close to her lips…stop Sam.

Not anymore.

You felt tears begin to well in your eyes, too. Her embrace tightened, and you followed suit. The hug was giant, and embodied every single word neither of you needed to say. Her hand found the back of your head, scratching the nape of your neck. You both had tears falling now, a sorrowful feeling blooming in your chest.

You used to dream of being in this exact position with her. Dream about even getting a sliver of a chance to be with her, and you had gotten it. You fulfilled your boyhood dream. Now the feeling of her skin on yours would be nothing but a memory, tucked away in the back of your brain, never to be thought of again. You bent down again, and placed your mouth to her ear, speaking through cries tormenting your throat.

“You gotta go to him now, babe. It’s time.” You inhaled deeply, wanting to breathe her in one last time. You knew this was going to be it.

Her chest was heaving with sobs, and you felt your face grow warm with the admission of your final release from the hold she had on you for so many years. You grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away, standing face to face with the woman you used to love, who now held a different place in your heart. She gave you another sweet smile, understanding and accepting the fate that had found you. She nodded through tears, though you were sure she still had a lot of thinking to do in the grand Jake realm.

“Thank you, Sammy. For the song. It really helped.” She said quietly.

You gave her a wink, choking back the tears again, “You’re still my best girl.”

She shook her head, and brought her hands to your face. “I’ll see you, Sammy.”

——

You took a second to collect yourself in the restroom of the venue, a place you knew you wouldn’t run into anyone who would ask about the current state of your flustered look and red, puffy eyes. You splashed cold water onto your face, holding it there and letting it drip out between your fingers.

The end of an era.

A short, wild, strange, amazing, and beautiful era. Though you felt sad about whatever it was you had with Y/N being over, you felt the most intense feelings for Elle…wanting to run to her, find her and give her everything she could ever want.

You also harbored another feeling. You couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but the tension between Y/N and Jake was thick, and it felt like there was nothing you could do to get it through her head that she needed to take a step back. Look at this from the outside. Put her head to the side for once, and listen to her heart. Fuck fear… Had she not listened to anything Josh had preached for the last 10 years?

You made your way back through the hallways and to the trailer. Everyone had gathered in the common area, giddy with nerves and excitement for the show. You noticed Jake sitting off to the side again, and Y/N running around crazy just like she always did right before a show. You shot her a grin, and she returned it. She and Jake were still avoiding one another, but their passing glances to each other were extremely obvious.

How can I help?

The sun was beginning to fall behind the quickly moving clouds in the sky, a perfect backdrop for some photos. Aha, an idea. You ran into the trailer, finding Elle perched on the couch, scrolling her phone. She perked up when she saw you.

“Hey, hun!” She hopped up and ran to you, pulling you in for the sweetest, honey-laced kiss. God, she was so sweet.

“Hey! Come outside really quick. The weather is perfect for photos.” You ran to your bag, pulling your old film camera from its case and checking the film roll. The two of you exited the trailer, finding that the wind had picked up a bit in just the few seconds you’d been inside.

“Y/N! Will you come take a photo of me and Elle?” You yelled, pulling her from a task on her iPad.

She shot a look to you, softening quickly when she saw Elle’s pleading puppy dog eyes. She made her way over, letting you give her a quick rundown on how to snap the perfect photo. You bent down and Elle hopped on your back, wrapping her arms around your neck. She placed a kiss on your cheek, causing you to smile hard. Y/N focused in, and counted to 3.

“Ok! Now let me take one of you two.” Elle said, taking the camera from you.

You and Y/N pressed your cheeks closely to one another, squishing the sides of your faces in while you laughed and snorted. That will be a good one.

“Jake! Get over here! We’re taking pictures.” You yelled to him, disturbing his lonely concentration on nothing. He sulked up from his chair, bringing himself to the group. He went to take the camera from Elle, but she pulled it away from him, instead handing it to you.

“Oh, actually, will you take one with Y/N?” She asked, stunning him. She had read your mind.

“Oh, no it’s okay. We don’t want to waste your film.” Y/N said, crossing her arms and trying to walk away.

“No, no. That’s a good idea.” You said. “Come stand over here by these flower bushes.” You grabbed them both forcefully by the shirts, and dragged them over to stand in front of the beautifully bloomed landscaping.

They stood awkwardly, looking away from one another and both giving you a ‘get on with it’ look.

You brought the viewfinder to your eye. “Great, now lean in close. I need you both in the frame.” You motioned for them to squeeze in.

They reluctantly stepped toward each other. “Ah, come on. You can get closer than that. You aren’t strangers!” you said.

You heard Y/N scoff, tilting her head back in exasperation at the situation. They stepped a little closer.

“There you go. That’s better. Come on, you used to love each other, for pete’s sake!” you said.

You watched as they finally stepped closer and stood shoulder to shoulder, Jake taking his pinky and intertwining it with hers at their sides.

He leaned his head down to rest on top of hers. “Still do, Sammy boy. Still do.”

——

Elle was seated across the trailer, carefully applying tiny sparkles to her face. She used the utmost care and concentration, making sure each one got in its specific place. She’d chosen a tight silver dress with a shimmery black shawl to wear to the show tonight, fitting her figure perfectly. Her hair was long and cascading, and she’d put a few braids tight to her scalp, adorning them with some type of shiny clip things.

“I love dressing up for your shows, it’s so much fun!” She’d said while you watched her pick out the outfit.

Her face was lit up with tiny stars and reflective glitter, catching the light every time she turned to flash you a smile. You held your guitar in your hands, offering her your nods of approval everytime she asked if it looked okay. “Perfect, baby.”

Of course it looked okay, everything she did was flawless. You felt yourself beaming, taking in her existence when she was doing something so simple as primping herself. You could stare at her for hours, and never tire at her sight. Her presence alone was enough to make you feel whole.

This must be how Jake feels.

Daniel and Josh stood to the side, mixing their drinks and talking low about some new idea they were working on. Jake sat beside you on the couch, your knees mindlessly bumping into one another’s as you both strummed on your acoustics. It was eerily peaceful for a pre-show gathering. Almost like the calm before the storm.

You heard the crowd explode outside, a signal that the openers were warming everything up just right.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight, Samuel.” Jake said in an almost whisper, not bothering to look at you. “I don’t think I’ve seen your teeth this much your whole life...smiling like the Joker over there.”

You shied away a little bit, realizing you’d been caught staring at Elle. It wasn’t lost on you that you’d probably turned into a better form of yourself lately, and it showed in everything that you did.

You slowed your playing, bringing the strumming to a light pick. “Ya know Jake, I think I get it now. How you feel. It’s a...fairly new feeling but. I think I understand why you are the way you are with Y/N.”

His eyes finally met yours, silently asking what the hell you meant. “You guys have always been each other’s everything, even over all the years of separation and finding each other. I think this time, her coming back to you meant more than it did when we were younger.”

You paused, searching for the words while he sat silently.

“I’m getting to a point where I couldn’t imagine losing Elle again. If she left me like she did last time...I don’t know...what I would do…” you trailed off.

“And you and Y/N have done this over and over, man. I don’t know how you...wake up and do what we do every day. Especially while she’s here with us, so close by…” you felt your eyes going to the floor, staring absently while you let your words fall.

“I get it now. Why it was so hard for you to watch her and I. I put myself in your shoes, and it’s like a dagger to the gut.” You put your guitar down on the floor, leaning it against the couch. You slid to the edge of the seat, grabbing your drink and finishing it in one gulp, the recurring guilt of hurting Jake creeping its way back in, but this time it was amplified.

You turned around to look at him, his face sullen and sunken, a mirror image of Y/N’s lately. He didn’t have an immediate response, just continued strumming away and biting the insides of his cheeks. You knew he was deep in his thoughts, you could always read it on his face. He didn’t need to say anything, he knew you were sorry. And so was she.

You stood up from the couch, and headed over to mix another drink. Suddenly a coordinator poked their head in the door, “Ten minutes to stage, guys!”

“Sammy.” Jake said, causing you to turn back to him. He pointed to Elle with his chin. “Don’t ever let her forget exactly how she makes you feel. She might forget all the things you say to her, but never let her go one day without knowing how she really makes you feel. It’s the only thing that will stick.”

You nodded, showing you understood his advice. He raised his eyebrows to you in his best big-brotherly way. “That feeling you’ve got doesn’t come around often, Sam. Trust me. Don’t let it slip through your fingers.” And with that, he stood up to join Josh and Danny.

Josh walked to the middle of the room, raising his glass, “Shall we toast, brothers?”

HER POV

With the impending storm, the entire crew was on high alert. You had the weather radar pulled up on your phone nearly constantly, tracking the storm as it changed and grew. You were hot on the heels of the rest of the coordinators, your radio busy with communication. It looked like the storm was dissipating, but the rain was still going to be very present. You huffed a sigh. You had practically memorized the rain show procedures, and you made sure everything was ready, just in case. Preparing for the worst was all you could do at this point. It truly wasn’t a huge deal, it happened all the time, but it was still something you’d never had to head-up before.

With all of your rushing, you didn’t have time to give the guys their 10-minute warning, pushing off the task to someone else. You missed out on their pre-show ritual, and getting ready with Elle. Watching it was something you were growing to love being a part of, even if it was hard being around Jake.

You finally made it back to the trailer just in time to make sure they were dressed and their outfits were perfect. They lined up for you to check them out, this new tradition becoming a cute habit. Josh looked stunning in his lilac crushed velvet suit adorned with embroidered temperance tarot images. He kissed your cheek and laughed, “Break a leg out there, huh?”

“Josh, that’s for me to say to you, crazy.” You rolled your eyes. He laughed as he pranced down the steps. Daniel was strikingly handsome in his pink lacy top and fitted pants. You applauded him as he passed you by, always so effortless. “Tear it up, Danny.” You said. He gave you a proud and tight lipped smile. He really was starting to come into his own.

Sam looked downright gorgeous in his light pink suit. His lapels embroidered with a cardinal and an violet flower. “Ah, state emblems, huh? I’m starting to get it. You’re sneaky, Sam. Was that your idea?” You brushed off the shoulders of his suit before he offered you a wink, tilting his seltzer to you and exiting the trailer without a word.

Your heart dropped as you realized Jake was last. You scanned him quickly as he approached you and the door, and you didn’t see his collar flipped, his sleeve cuffed, not a single thread out of place. He was ready to go.

He was ready to go…

He glanced at you, giving you a slight smile and a nod before descending the stairs and closing the door behind him. He didn’t even try to have a moment. The one you’d looked forward to for the last few shows…the one he created. He had slipped through without even a word.

The guys took the stage minutes later, the crowd going absolutely insane. You found Elle sidestage, hugging her from behind upon approach. The two of you watched as they greeted the fans, starting off the show with ‘My Way, Soon’, creating an immediate dynamic that was intoxicating for everyone involved.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Elle. I swear you came back at the absolute perfect time.” You spoke loudly into her ear overtop of the loud music. She hugged your arms that were holding onto her waist. The show proceeded without a hitch, all except for the wind picking up again. There was a thin mist in the air, the dew setting in as the night ticked on. The fog had begun to roll in behind the crowd creating an ominous atmosphere.

You found yourself transfixed on Jake again, your attention naturally being drawn to him. You had learned by watching him show after show, that he truly had a stage presence that overtook his band mates at times, but it was without intention. He just naturally had it. The way he moved and played was enough to steal all of your concentration, and keep it.

You and Elle were having a good time, dancing and singing along, her stealing glances and smiles from Sam every once in a while, but Jake never once looked your way.

The music slowed, Sam coming in on the keys with a low and slow ballad while Danny joined in.

“Looks like the rain is setting in! Everyone take cover!” Josh ran around the stage, covering his already frizzy hair with one hand. He laughed as the song became heavier, the tone of the organ setting into your chest.

“I don’t think we’ve played this on the Strange Horizons tour...” Josh said, causing the crowd to go wild. “But this one is one of my favorites… and I’ve had people come up to me, out of nowhere and kind of go ‘Oh yes, I went to a show of yours, and uh, I didn’t hear this song, and I really wanted to hear it.’ and all I could say is, ‘Yeah, me too!’” he laughed.

You were puzzled, on what song could he be talking about.

“Sometimes it’s a battlefield when it comes to putting together a setlist…” he continued.

When do they ever argue about setlists?

“So here we go, let’s do it.” he said finally.

You looked to Elle, who was just as confused as you were. But, after a few seconds, the mystery turned into realization. Jake came in on the electric instead of the acoustic, throwing you off even more.

It can’t be, is he doing this again?

You looked at Elle. “Is this Flower Power?” you asked her. You already knew the answer, but you needed some validation, for someone else to tell you what you thought your ears were hearing.

She nodded sweetly to you, immediately covering her mouth with her hand. You stood in complete stillness, letting the music and the emotion wrap around you.

The notes spun around in the air, and you felt weightless. Why are they doing this? You tried your best to look to Jake for some type of explanation, but he was enraptured by the crowd. The song went on in what felt like slow motion, and you finally found your head. You wrapped your arms around Elle, and she took you into an embrace that felt like home. They were playing your song. Your true song.

A flashback found your mind amidst the chaos of hearing it…you in your hotel room bed, intoxicated as ever, with Jake lying beside you.

“...The flower song. Makes me cry...”

“…I don’t have my guitar, darlin’…but if I did...I would play it for you a thousand times…”

You shook your head at the memory replaying from your drunken night.

“…One day?…”

“…Yeah baby. One day.”

Today was that day. He was playing it for you, finally. You couldn’t believe your ears. You felt your heart tumble, hearing the familiar chords float through the air…the song you had memorized and hummed for weeks after he played it for you all those years ago in his bedroom. It had stuck in your head, and here it was again, being played in front of thousands of fans. You felt like you might pass out.

Finally Jake backed up on the stage toward his amps, looking your way. You gave him a genuine smile, feeling overwhelmed with emotions. He smiled back, a tiny one, but it was something.

Elle came beside you and wrapped her arms around you again. Just then, Josh glanced your way, making eye contact and smiling at the two of you and your reactions. He fooled with his in-ear as he laughed, turning back to the crowd. He added in a few lyrics from a completely different song, making Elle scream with one hand in the air.

“Ahhhh! That was Anthem?!” She yelled, beginning to sway with one arm around your waist, and the other raised to the sky.

She brought her face close to your ear so you could hear her clearly. “You know, he may be playing this as a surprise to all of us, but his message is to you.” she said.

You looked at her, confused.

“Babe, after you left, he would insist that they play this at almost every show, hoping you would hear it and come back to him.” She said, pulling away with a sympathetic look.

You felt like you could crawl into a deep, dark hole, and never re-emerge.

“He knew it was your favorite. He said the last time you heard it, it didn’t have words, or a title, or anything…he just hoped you would be out there, somewhere, and recognize it. He’d even wait after shows for a little bit to see if you’d show up.”

“After a while, he gave up. They played it less and less until they stopped playing it altogether. I guess this is the first time since then…” she trailed off.

“Why don’t you just let yourself be with him, Y/N? It would be the easiest thing in the world…” Elle asked.

You looked her deeply in the eyes, and bit your cheek. “Because Elle, I signed a contract saying I wouldn’t fraternize with any member of the band. I could lose my job. They’re literally my bosses. Plus, he and I are just…” you couldn’t finish the sentence, feeling confused about where you and Jake had left things, and now, about him playing your song.

Elle came close again, bringing her face close to yours, and holding both of your hands in hers. “Honey, your job may pay the bills now, but it isn’t going to be sitting on the front porch with you when you’re 80.” She raised her eyebrows and gave you a knowing look, and returned to watching the show.

That was enough. You backed away from Elle, placing a hand to your forehead, fighting back the tears you knew would be littering your face soon. You looked to Jake again, unable to form any type of coherent thought. All he did was lock into your eyes as he played the remaining few notes of the song.

Fuck.

The crowd was going nuts, Jake was beaming with pride, and you felt like you needed to retreat again. This was a replay of the night they played You’re the One, except this was much, much worse. You imagined that night at the hotel again, your hand on Jake’s chest, your fingers grazing over his lips, his stomach…What else had you forgotten about that night?

You spent the rest of the show in a daze, letting the music pull your body around however it wanted, succumbing to the emotions still left behind from hearing your song. It had begun to drizzle fairly heavily, but the show continued without any problem. They played a song for the first time live, ‘The Barbarians’, and you found yourself once again being pulled in by the sounds of Jake’s playing…a brand new song you’d already fallen in love with being pulled off without a hitch.

You stood to the side, trying to look busy while they came backstage before their encore. You still hadn’t formulated a plan of what to say if you were met with Jake. You could feel the emotions heavier than ever, and it was only a matter of time before he found you.

Your head was still spinning as the last song wrapped up, your cue to get back to work. Thankfully you could now drown yourself in your work as a distraction.

You retreated to the back of the venue, beginning to gather everything up for the crew to pack. You tried your best to stay hidden, moving quickly to stay out of Jake’s line of vision. The tears were flowing harder with every passing second.

You ran into Sam and Elle backstage, trying to dry up your face as best you could.

“Hey.” Sam said, putting a hand on your shoulder. “You alright?”

You pat your face with your hands. “Ah, ya know, Sam...Not really.” You laughed through your exasperation, trying to cover it up as best you could.

“I know, I know. It sounded good though, right?” He said, trying to break things up.

“It sounded perfect.” You said, offering him a smile.

“Hey well, we’re going to a bar here in a little bit. Once you get finished up, come down, okay?” Sam said as he began to walk away.

“I’ll text you the address!” Elle yelled over her shoulder.

You continued marking off checklists and making sure everything was packed up, when your phone buzzed in your back pocket.

Elle: Hey! We’re going to a place called Kasey’s Tavern. I’ll send you my location. It’s within walking distance to the hotel. See you in a bit :)

You: Ok, sounds great!

Sliding your phone into your back pocket, you glanced up to the sky again. The clouds were thickening, even in the darkness you could tell something was brewing, and the strange feeling in your gut told you it might not just be a rainstorm.

JAKE POV

As you played the final notes of the song, eyes locked with hers, you could see the tears starting to stream down her face. You watched as she ran off, seemingly hiding herself from the rest of the world as she usually did. You knew this would get to her, and you hoped it would. You hoped she felt every single word of that song deep in her bones, just like you did.

You spent the rest of the show deep inside your head, wondering if it was enough. If your message was clear. You were itching to get off the stage, to run and find her. Tell her you’re sorry for everything you ever did to hurt her. But she was gone, you couldn’t find her anywhere. You felt like you searched the entire venue looking for her, but she had disappeared. Had you taken it too far?

When Sam suggested hitting the bar near the hotel you were the first to speak up in agreement, deciding a stiff drink was exactly what you needed. As you waited for the rest of the guys to change, you thought for sure she would be coming around to collect your suits, or even tell you the van was here, but she didn’t.

“Have you seen Y/N?” you ask Sam.

“Ah…I saw her get pretty torn up during Flower Power, as expected. I ran into her a bit ago, told her we were going to the bar. I haven’t seen her since. Elle told her where we’re going, though.” he answers, clapping you on the shoulder.

Josh approached you just then, Sam turning away to find Elle, “Well?” he asks.

“She’s gone. Ran off a complete mess. Maybe we shouldn’t have.” you whisper.

“She’ll be back. Probably just trying to wrap things up since we only had one night here.” he says as you nod your head.

“Jake, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of you all night. Every time I looked over she was watching you. She’s not gone.” he said finally, walking away.

You grabbed your bag and followed him out of the dressing room door to load into the van. Slowly everyone began to pile inside, ready to go to the bar and celebrate another successful and sold out show.

—

You hated leaving the venue without her, but you knew she had a job to do, and that was part of it. As the van pulled up outside of the bar, you stepped out into the light drizzle of rain, and quickly made your way inside. It was fairly busy, but that was typical, you thought, for a Friday night.

“Bulliet, neat, thanks.” you said to the bartender, perusing the selection. You lifted your hand, signaling for the rest of the guys to join you and place their orders.

After a few minutes, the drinks were placed in front of you, and you made your way over to Elle and Summer, waiting in a small booth in the corner, Josh, Sam and Daniel right behind you.

“Summer, I got you a mojito, that’s what you like right?” you asked, half listening as you placed the drink on the table.

Her camera still around her neck, you watched as she snapped a few photos of Josh and Sam talking, as she answered, “Yes! Can’t believe you remembered!”

“Well you spilled the entirety of one on yourself, so. Kind of hard to forget.” you quipped.

You took a seat next to Elle, sipping your drink as you watched the door, willing her to walk through it at any moment.

“She’ll be here, Jake. Don’t worry.” Elle said, patting your arm.

“You think she’ll come?” you ask, tipping the glass to your lips.

“I know she will…” she pauses. “She didn’t know…about you playing the song for her at the shows back then. I thought she knew. I feel awful, I think that’s what broke her.” she confesses.

“Those were some hard days, huh? How pathetic was I…sitting around waiting, thinking she’d show up backstage.” you say.

“It’s not pathetic Jake, I think that’s what love looks like.” she replies.

“I couldn’t find her after the show. Looked everywhere.” you say.

“I saw her. She was pretty torn up, but…she was there. She looked busy. I did text her, she knows where we are.” she says.

You nod your head, and throw back the rest of your drink. “I don’t know what to say to her.”

“I think you already did. I think it’s her turn to talk, and when she does, you’ll know what to say.” she smiles softly.

You place your hand on top of hers resting on the table, patting it gently, “I’m so glad you’re back.”

She looks over to Sam, deeply engrossed in conversation, and then back to you, “Can’t believe I ever left…”

“All that matters is you’re back now. And, I’m not sure you’ve noticed, but you’re making Sam a really happy guy.” you smile. “Want another drink?”

“Sure! Sappy time is over, now it's party time!” she laughs.

You slide out of the booth and make your way to the bar with the two empty glasses in hand. You order another round, and find your way back to the table through the mass of people and hazy air.

As you spot the table you see Y/N, sitting talking to Sam and Elle. You swallow back your emotions and place Elle’s drink on the table, taking a seat next to Summer at the opposite side of the booth. Your eyes glance over to her, drifting up her rain soaked frame and meeting her eyes. The contact is brief as she breaks away to continue talking to Sam.

“It’s really raining now huh?” he asks, throwing her raincoat over the back of the booth.

“It looked like it was going to drop out at any second, of course it waited for me to step outside.” she laughed.

The sounds of her laughter brought a smile to your lips, but you were careful to stifle it down before anyone noticed.

“Okay, I’m gonna go grab a drink, does anyone need anything?” she asks.

“No, I think we’re good, the drinks are under Josh’s tab tonight.” Sam says.

Her eyes flash to yours for just a second before sliding out and disappearing into the crowd.

Sam looks over to Summer, and then to you, “Jake, come play pool with me?” he asks, raising his eyebrows. He doesn’t want to play pool, he wants to talk.

“There’s a table open over there.” you say pointing towards the back, and grabbing your drink.

You follow him over to the table, and grab a pool stick, as he racks the balls.

“You gonna talk to her?” he asks.

“I don’t know what to say, she will hardly look at me.” you answer.

“I noticed…let her get a few drinks in her system. She will come to you, she always does.” he replies, taking his first shot.

“What do you mean she always does?” you ask, hitting the 14 into the pocket.

“I don't know, she just…always does. Whenever she's drinking she… gravitates towards you. Just needs to be in your orbit. Feels safe around you, I guess.” he says, his words starting to slur as he finishes his drink.

As you thought about it, he was right. Thinking back to the lake, even to last week. She was by your side the whole time.

“I hope you’re right.” you say, sinking another ball.

“I always am!” he says, his laugh filling the room.

After a few more unsuccessful shots from Sam, you deposit each billiard ball into the pocket with ease, but not without a little unsportsmanlike conduct from Sam. You sink the eight ball, finishing the game, and signaling that you were heading to the bar for another drink. Sam makes his way back to the table, wrapping his arms around Elle, and you find yourself wishing that you could hold Y/N that way.

As you approach the bar you see Y/N, sitting on a bar stool, body rigid as a guy is leaning against the bartop talking to her. Her body language is enough to see from across the room that she isn’t interested. You stand back, waiting for your drink from the bartender as you watch the interaction from afar.

It seems like ten minutes has passed as you continue to watch the guy hit on her. Finally the bartender slides you your drink, and you start to make your way closer to her, standing back just enough, but still close enough to interfere if needed.

“Come on, it’s just one drink, don’t be a bitch.” he says, with a bit of an edge.

You watch her recoil at his words, “No. I’m not interested for the third time.” she spits towards him.

He grabs the back of her chair, and spins it towards him, caging her in with his arms, “Come on, you’re too pretty to turn me down.” he presses.

You toss back the entirety of your drink, and step in, “Hey man, she said no.” you say, semi-defensively.

“This your girl?” he asks, releasing his grip from the bartop.

Your eyes meet hers before turning back to him, “Yeah, she is.”

“Sorry man, my mistake.” he says, walking away without a fight.

“You okay?” you ask her, your eyes searching hers.

She grabs her drink, throwing it back the rest of it, and slamming the glass down on the counter, before getting up and pushing past you.

“Y/N!” you yell over the loud music and crowd of people.

She walks quickly over to the table, grabbing her jacket and her purse and practically runs towards the door before you can catch her.

You pull your wallet out of your pocket, and grab a bill, throwing it on the table towards Sam, who is looking at you in shock. “Close my tab, I gotta go.” you say, taking off towards the door.

The rain is falling heavily onto the pavement, the sound of the downpour drowning out the sound of the cars buzzing by. You see her walking down the street and you take off towards her, calling her name as you run. She turns to face you, cheeks wet with tears or rain, you can’t tell.

“Y/N, Please! Stop running from me! Talk to me!” you shout, grabbing her arm and spinning her to face you.

“What! What Jake? What do you want me to say?” she yells, and from the way her voice cracks you can tell its tears, not rain.

“I want you to talk to me! We need to talk. About everything! All of it! Right now!” you say, shouting loud enough to make sure she can hear you over the sound of the wind and rain.

“Why did you do that! Why did you say that in there?” she cries.

“What? To that guy?!” you ask.

“Yes! I thought I didn’t need you to take care of me! I’m a professional, right?!” she yells.

“Y/N, stop! You know I didn’t mean that! I told you I was sorry!” you begged.

“But you said it Jake! I know that’s how you actually feel!” she says, trying to pull out of your grip.

You grab her other arm, holding her at arm's length, the rain dripping from both of your bodies, in a constant stream. “You think that’s how I feel?! That’s what you think?” you yell.

You pull your arm away, brushing your dripping hair out of your face before placing it back on her arm. “I only said that because that’s exactly what I do want! I want to take care of you! I want to take care of you for the rest of my life! Everyday! It’s all I have wanted since I was sixteen years old! Please...just let me!” you plead.

You stare at her, waiting for her response, rain dripping from your noses as your breath swirls into the cold air. She shivers as you watch her eyes dart around, her brain scrambling to find a response.

“Why did you play that song Jake! Why did you play my song…” she cries.

“Because! Because I’m in love with you and that's the only way I knew I could get through to you!” you yell.

“Stop Jake!” she cries.

“No! I won’t! You need to know that I love you! I love you with every shattered piece of my heart! If that’s not enough, then don't drag this out. Let me go! If I can't have your heart, then you can't keep mine prisoner. That's not how this works Y/N! You don't get to have it all!” you yell, water dripping from your face.

She pulls free from your grip, taking off towards the hotel, just a few blocks away. You run after her, determined to tell her how you feel once and for all. She throws the lobby door open, rushing towards the elevator, with you hot on her heels. As you step into the elevator, you grab her hand, cold and wet, lacing it with yours and spinning her to meet you. Her eyes meet yours, and for a second time stood still. You could see her fighting herself, denying herself what she truly wanted.

The doors opened, and she pushed past you, walking to her room, you following behind her. As she fumbled for the key to her room, still dripping with remnants of the rain, you stopped her hand with yours.

She looked up at you, “We can’t do this Jake!” she paused, “You can’t love me!”

You grab her face in your hands, holding her cheeks as she shivered beneath your fingers, “Yes I can. And I do. I’m so in love with you that it drives me fuckin’ insane, Y/N! I haven’t stopped loving you since that night in the garage. That was it for me! I never looked back! I don’t know what kind of fucked up twisted shit the universe keeps playing on us but in case you haven’t noticed it keeps bringing us back together. It keeps bringing you back to me. This is how it’s supposed to be Y/N. You and me. So yeah, I played that song tonight. For you. Because it says everything I’ve never been able to say. Please, tell me it was enough. Tell me that I am enough.” you beg, tears welling in your eyes.

Her breath catches in her throat, as she chokes back a sob, tapping her key card to the door and throwing it open. She steps inside, turning to face you, swallowing back her tears.

“I can’t Jake.” she breathes, the tears fall quickly down her cheeks, a sob leaving her chest, followed by the sound of the door slamming shut in your face.

You felt your heart plummet, and for a second, even if you wanted them to, your lungs refused to fill with air. The water that had been threatening to take you all along, finally did. You were drowning, and you let yourself sink this time. You didn’t want to come back up. You stood there, paralyzed, as the hallway began to spin around you.

It wasn’t enough. You’re not enough.

The vision in your peripheral started to fade, turning to black fog, slowly inching its way closer. Knowing you were seconds from passing out, you pulled yourself away from the door, and began to walk to the elevator. It was done. You told her everything, but it wasn’t enough.

Your shaky hand pressed the button to take you to your floor, and you shoved your hands into your pockets, eyes permanently fixed to the carpet. Your breathing was shallow, a full breath nowhere in sight. The tears threatening to spill from your lashes, finally breaking free as you blinked. As the elevator doors opened, you took one last look towards her door as you began to step in, waiting for the doors to close and take you away. Just as they started to shut you heard it.

A voice you would recognize in any crowd echoing through the hall. “Wait!”

You quickly threw your arm out pushing the doors open as you stepped back out of the elevator, wondering if it was a figment of your tortured mind, but as you looked down the hallway you saw her, standing in her doorway, tear stained and pleading for you.

“Jake, wait!” she said letting the door slam behind her, running towards you, the air leaving your chest at the sight.

You opened your arms, ready to catch her and never let go. It felt like slow motion as she ran towards you, your heart ready to burst at any second it was beating so forcefully.

As her body collided with yours, her arms wrapped around your neck, squeezing you tightly as she sobbed.

“You’re enough! You’re enough! You’ve always been enough! I’m sorry!” she cries into your neck. Her hands grasp into your hair, “Please. Please don’t leave.”

You release your arms from around her, grabbing her face, feeling her tears dripping onto your hands, Her swollen, bloodshot eyes, meeting yours, “Never. I’ll never leave you.”

HER POV

‘I’ll never leave you…’

You could barely hear him over the sound of your heart beating out of your chest. The pounding in your ears, deafening. The only thoughts in your head were of Jake, and everything that happened in the last five minutes.

As soon as the door slammed shut the tears fell uncontrollably, you sunk down on the other side of the door, feeling like you had ripped your own heart out. Why were you doing this to yourself? Why were you doing this to him? How could you let him think he wasn’t enough?

You dragged yourself up, resting your weight on the door as you brought your blurry, tear filled eye to the peephole. With your hand over your mouth to conceal your sobs, you watched him stand there, staring blankly at the closed door, trying to figure out where he went wrong. Trying to figure out why he wasn’t enough for you.

A sob escaped you as you watched him start to walk away, pressing the elevator button, and wiping away his own tears. This was it. He was leaving.

Panic bloomed in your chest. How could you live this life without him? Why would you deny yourself the single best thing that you’ve ever had?

Before you could stop yourself you were throwing the door open begging him to wait. Calling his name through the tiny corridor, praying he heard you before those elevator doors closed.

Then you saw him, stepping out, making sure he wasn’t imagining it, eyes full of shock as he saw you running towards him. That hallway felt a mile long as you ran to him, his arms open waiting for you. You knew at that moment that this job, your career, your life, all of it, was nothing if Jake wasn’t part of it.

As he spoke you snapped back to the present, his hands still cupping your tear soaked cheeks, “Do you hear me? Never.” he said, his eyes sincere and red rimmed.

“You and me?” you asked, repeating his sentiment through a shaky breath.

“You and me.” he said, a whisper as his lips crashed to yours, right there in the hallway, soaking wet and shivering. The kiss that would seal you to him like a wax stamp on a perfect piece of parchment. You were his, and you always had been. His lips were cold and salty from his tears, his fingers weaving into the small hairs at the base of your neck. Each calloused fingertip pressing into your skin, holding you there, anchoring you in place as if you might float away.

His lips glided against yours in the same calculated way they always had, as you pulled yourself closer to him. Your bodies starting to feel the magnetism that they had always shared, binding you together with an invisible string. You both heard the elevator move and knew you had to take this elsewhere. He pulled away, looking at you as you spoke, “My room...” you whispered against his lips. You laced your hand with his as you pulled him behind, walking to your door, pushing it open and letting it slam closed behind the two of you.

You watched as Jake smoothed his hand over his wet hair, seemingly lost in his thoughts, “I…I can’t do this if you’re going to leave me again the second you get in your head. I…won’t make it.” he pleads.

You place your hand on his cheek, “I’m not going anywhere Jake. Never again.”

His hand reaches up to cup yours over his cheek, bringing it down to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your fingertips.

“You promise?” he asks, against your fingers.

“Do you?” you breathe.

“For the rest of my life, love. I mean it.” he says, blinking back tears.

“I’m so sorry.” you say, every ounce of pent up emotion filling your words.

“I’m sorry too, baby. For everything. All of it. Do you know how much it killed me to pretend I didn’t care? To not look at you? To act like I was thinking about anything other than you?” he asks, leading you over to sit at the edge of the bed.

“I shouldn’t have left I–” you say as he stops you.

“No. You were doing what you thought you had to do. You had a job to do. You didn’t see another way. But I do. We can do this. I want to do this. I need you, Y/N.” he says.

“We’ll figure it out?” you beg.

He grabs your hands in his, holding them to his lips, “Everyday. One step at a time.”

“I remember.” you whisper, as he sends you a confused look.

“That night, in Bridgeport. I remember. I remembered as soon as I heard you play tonight. You laid with me. Talked to me. Told me you’d play it for me one day, and you did.” you said, blinking back another round of tears.

“I remember the look on your face the first time I ever played that riff for you. In my tiny bedroom back in Michigan. You were drifting off to sleep in my bed; begged me to lay with you that night too. I knew then that I was in love with you. I think of that every time I play that song. I remember every time I ever played it for you. The way you looked, how your smile made me feel. I played it at every show, hoping you’d come. Hoping you’d hear it, and you’d find me backstage, but you never did.” he pauses, looking down to the floor.

“Even though it killed me, I played it, even sang along. Although we did eventually stop playing it, I never gave up hope that you’d hear it one day. I hoped you’d remember it the same way I did. Then, one day I walked into a bar I didn’t want to go to in the first place, and there you were. Sitting on a bar stool looking more gorgeous than I could have ever dreamed of. I was honestly too stunned to even look your way. I couldn’t believe you were real, and in front of me after all this time of wishing for you. I sat at the bar with Sophia, running over a thousand different ways I could say hello, shooting down each one, chalking it up to not being good enough. Then, when I finally got up the courage, you were leaving with Sam.”

You laced your fingers with his, you knew he needed to get this out. His thumb absentmindedly rubbed across your palm as he continued.

“I wanted to drop right through the floor as the door shut behind the two of you. Sophia had to all but carry me home. She had no idea. I felt like I finally had you within reach, and suddenly you were gone. I didn’t know if I would ever see you again, until I showed up at Sam’s the next morning. I left and went straight to the bar. Drank until I couldn’t feel anything. In fact, I did that for weeks. Seeing you with Sam almost killed me. It hurt me down to my core to think for one second you might’ve been in love with my brother and not me. Can you imagine how that felt? I was confused day and night for months watching you two together. Always questioning myself and wondering what he had that I couldn’t give you. Now, I understand why you guys did what you did, but it still hurt. I just wanted to be enough for you.” he finished.

“Jake, you’ve always been more than enough for me.” you said, a single tear streaming down your cheek.

He swiped it away with his pointer finger, “Ah, it didn’t feel like it sometimes.”

“I thought you were happy with Sophia, I… I didn’t know you still felt that way about me. She told me you were moving in together… looking at rings, I–” he cut you off.

“No. We never looked at rings, I would have rather spent my whole life alone, then be married to someone that isn't you.” he said, your heart dropping into your stomach.

“She didn’t love me. She loved who she thought I was. What she thought I could give her. No one ever loved me like you did.” he said, shaking his head.

“Do.” you reply, his eyes coming up to meet yours.

“Loves you like I do.”

“I never stopped loving you, Y/N.” he said leaning forward to grab your face.

“Neither did I.” you reply, pressing your lips to his, your hands wrapping around his head, desperately pulling him closer to you.

Your lips tangle together, a desperate display of passion bound by the restraints of time. No inch of his lips were left untouched by yours, his tongue licking into your mouth like silk as it explored the places it once knew.

You struggled to kick your boots off, as you pushed yourself backwards on the bed. Jake detached his lips from yours, grabbing your wet boots and throwing them to the floor with his own.

You laid back into the pillows, waiting for him to come back to you, already desperate for his lips to be on yours again and within seconds, he returned. Planting soft kisses on the exposed area of your neck. He made his way up your jaw and back to your lips, his tongue once again finding yours as he hovered over you.

You reached your hands into his partially open shirt, his skin still cool from the damp fabric. Your fingers worked the last three buttons, pulling it down his shoulders to reveal his bare chest. He lifted his arms to throw it to the floor, smoothing a strand of hair from your forehead as his hands returned.

He sat back, resting on his knees as he looked at you. “You’re the love of my life. You know that?”

You could feel your cheeks blushing as you soaked in the words you’ve so desperately wanted to hear. “Show me.”

His hand drops to your bare thigh, the skirt of your dress sitting just above it. “Are you sure? You want this? You want…us…again?”

You smiled, “Do you?”

A grin spread across his face as he dropped his head, looking back up at you, “For the rest of my life…”

You nod your head as you feel his hand travel up your thigh, his fingertips gently brushing the lace of your panties. You see him swallow and his eyes flutter closed at the feeling of your skin against his hand.

Slowly, you reach down to the hem of your dress, lifting the skirt and pulling the damp fabric over your head. His eyes flash down to your body, darting around as he takes in the sight of you. He smiles as he drops down, turning you just enough to place a kiss right over your tattoo. Your body arches up into him as his lips detach from your skin. “I missed you more than I’ll ever be able to tell you.” he says, rubbing his thumb over the inked skin.

His index finger drags across your skin, gliding down the length of your torso, stopping at the hem of your panties. “You know we don’t have to… I’d be more than happy to lay here and hold you all night.”

“Do you not want to?” you ask, nervously.

“No, baby. I do. I have thought about this, and this alone for months. I don't just want to, I need to. I need to feel you again, need to be close to you, show you how I feel about you.” he says.

“Then take me. I’m yours.” you breathe.

“Fuck…” he growls, leaning over you and pressing his lips to yours, this kiss is hungry, almost starving. Taking every inch of your lips into his.

Your hands fumble with the button on his pants, as his fingers unclasp your bra, throwing it to the floor. His eyes travel down to your bare chest, much fuller than the last time he saw you this way, and you can almost hear how loud his heart is pumping his blood.

“Y/N…I swear to God, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Ever will see.” he groans.

He kicks his pants to the floor, followed quickly by his boxers as he strokes his length a few times before rejoining you on the bed. His hair is wavy from the rain as it hangs in his face as he hovers over you. You can feel his length pressed to the top of your panties, as he places a wet kiss on your throat. The feeling of his lips on your neck, something you never knew you couldn’t live without.

His fingers hook into the sides of your panties, slowly pulling them down to reveal the wetness pooling at your center. He throws them to the floor, as his eyes lock onto yours. He slowly lowers himself to your center, pressing a kiss to the top of your mound.

Your hips arch upward towards him and he smiles to himself, grabbing your hips and pulling you towards him. He leans down over you, catching himself on his palms as his necklace swings like a pendulum between you. You grab the necklace, gently pulling his lips to yours, letting your tongue swipe over his bottom lip.

He parts his lips, granting you access as you lick into his mouth, letting your tongue tangle with his in a dance you’ve craved for years. He drops down to his elbows, and now you can feel his dick pressed firmly to your core. You let your hands roam his bare body, feeling every curve and plain, just as vividly as you remembered. You closed your eyes as you felt his hair brush over your chest, and the cold metallic feeling of his necklace resting on your nipple.

You broke away from his lips, his eyes opening to meet yours as you stared into his dark brown eyes, “Touch me.”

Suddenly you feel his fingers slide through your wetness, the brush of his fingertips over your clit sending lightning through your body.

“Fuck I missed you. Missed how you respond to me. Come undone for me…” he says, circling the bud with his fingers. Spreading your wetness up and down your slit, you feel a single digit slip inside of you, his thumb never ceasing on your bundle of nerves.

“I need you Jake. I need you so bad.” you whine, the feeling swirling around in your stomach has you practically begging.

He removes his fingers, leaning up on one arm, and grabbing the base of his dick with his free hand, and lining himself up with your center. He leans back down, and rests his lips at your ear, “Anything you want.”

The burn was the first thing you felt as he pressed forward into you, the stretch all too familiar as you adjusted to him. A groan left his chest as he reached the hilt, completely bottoming out inside of you.

“Fuck, Y/N…” he panted. His breathing ragged and his chest heaving as he felt you pulsing around him.

He began to slowly pull out, his eyes locked on yours, never breaking contact as he pushed back in. Your eyes fluttered shut and back open again as he reached that spot he knew so well. The one Jake found. The one he claimed as his own, years ago.

As his movements increased and his rhythm was set, you began to writhe underneath him. Even after all the time that had passed, he still knew exactly what to do, and exactly when to do it. He knew your body as if it were his own. He owned it and claimed it as so.

“God you feel like fucking velvet baby. I…fuck….” he whined. Gasps of air being pulled into his lungs when he remembered to breathe.

Your hands gripped into the supple skin at his waist, digging in hard enough you were sure you’d leave bruises, trying to pull him in closer to you. He pulled himself in further, his base stretching you further.

“It will never be close enough, baby. Never.” he groaned.

“Jake…” you whined, the breathy tone swirling directly into his ears.

You could feel his cock jump inside of you at the sound of his name leaving your lips.

You watched him swallow, his breathing heavy as the sweat rolled down his stomach. “Say it again.” he growled, snapping his hips into you. The tip of his dick grazing the sensitive nerves of your cervix.

“Oh fuck, Jake…” you cry.

A deep breath escapes his lungs, “I’m not gonna last sweetheart, I’ve wanted you for too long.”

“No. I…I don’t want it to be over. God you feel so good…I…” you trail off, your brain unable to process how you’re feeling.

“Tell me. Tell me you’re mine.” He says, rolling his hips into you like crashing waves.

A whine leaves your chest at his words, and you feel your heart twist.

“Tell me my love.” he begs, his hips unrelenting.

“I’m yours. I’ve always been yours, even when you thought I wasn’t. I love you Jake, I’ll always love you.” you cry.

“I fucking love you too. So much. So fucking much. Cum for me angel, let me feel you again. Let me have you.” he begs, his breathing ragged and his hips faltering.

“Say it again. Tell me you love me.” you breathe.

“I’ll tell you until there’s no air left in my lungs. I love you. I’ve loved you my whole life. I’ll never love anyone else. Now, let go for me, I know you want to.”

The flame in your stomach ignites, and you explode like a firework around him, your nails digging into his back, and your face pressed into his. You can feel his breath on your lips, hot and smelling of Whiskey.

With the final pulse of your release you feel his lips on yours, begging for a taste of you one more time. With one final thrust his eyes grow hooded and his stomach tenses as you feel him grasp on to you, the breath stolen from his lungs as he spills into you. A groan leaves his chest, one that would sound painful to anyone else, but you knew that the only pain he felt was the pain of being separated from you for far too long.

You could feel it, as the warmth splattered into you, his cock slowly stilling inside of you, as he let his body weight lay on top of you. His hands snaked under your body, holding you tightly to him, almost as if he was afraid to let you go. Minutes passed, both of you wrapped in each other, neither of you wanting to make the first move to get up.

Eventually though, Jake did pull out of you, the remnants of his release, slipping out onto your thighs. He swiped away his release with his fingers, before retreating to the bathroom. You got up to join him, both still marveling at each other's naked bodies.

You grab a towel to clean yourself off, wishing it wasn’t too late for a shower. When you step back out into the room, you see Jake’s boxer clad body pulling back the sheets on the bed. A water bottle sits on the side table and your phone is already plugged in.

“Jake… you didn’t have to do all of that.” you say, pulling a pair of panties on. You grab a t-shirt from your suitcase, and pull it over your head as he replies.

“I spent every day for the last three years, wishing I could do anything…everything for you. And now I can, so just let me do it. Anything you want…” he says, sliding into the sheets.

You walk over to the curtains, pulling them closed, and make your way to the side of the bed. He pulls the duvet down, and opens his arms. “Please…” he says.

As if you would say no. You slid into the bed, curling up into his side, resting your head in the crook of his neck, breathing in the scent of him and the light remnants of his cologne.

“I wore it, everyday, hoping you’d notice.” he says, reaching over to turn off the lamp.

“I did. I did notice. Especially last night. You looked so good Jake. I couldn’t even handle it. Then I smelled you, so close in that tiny elevator…” you trailed off, tangling your legs with his. It felt good to lay with him again. You let your fingers trace over his chest, feeling the dips and peaks of his body.

“I did it for you, you know. Wanted you to look at me. Wanted you to want me like I wanted you, just so I could rip it away from you. It was stupid, and I hate what I said to you. I hope you know that I didn’t mean it. I was worried sick the second you walked out of the restaurant. Oh, did you get your food?” he asked.

“Yeah…I did. That was you?” you asked. You remember how starved you were when you finally got back last night, and seeing the food on your counter was a godsend.

“Yeah…It was. I…just wanted you to have it, if you wanted it. I felt so bad, Y/N.” he replies bashfully.

“I couldn’t sleep until I knew you were back. I imagined so many horrible things. I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll never let that happen again.” he said, tightening his grip around your back.

“I was okay. But, I get it Jake. I would have been mad at me, too. You don’t have to explain why you did it. I understand.” you said, circling your fingers around his pendant.

“I think I was just mad because I knew you felt the same way about me as I felt about you. You just wouldn’t let yourself have it.” he said, talking lowly into the dark room. “Do you know how hard it was for me to pull myself away from you that night in Bridgeport?” he asks.

“Laying there, almost like this, a lot less touching, I suppose. Your fingers running over my chest just like this…” he pauses. “You told me you loved me as I left the room. I finally had the confirmation that you felt the same way.”

“I almost remember.” you reply.

“I asked you that night, if you would still love me in the morning. You didn’t answer. You fell asleep, and I snuck out.” he says, “When you came to my room the next morning, I hoped you would remember, but you didn’t. I had to pretend like it never happened. So I flirted with you a little, hoped maybe it would jog your memory. It didn’t, but you flirted back. Played one of the best shows of my life that night.”

“Jake…” you whined, suddenly feeling remorseful.

“Don’t you see? When you left me the first time, you thought you were helping me. Thought that being with you was going to hold me back. But it was the exact opposite. Being without you inhibited me. You were my muse. Shit, you still are. I have an entire book filled with songs about you.” he says.

“You do?” you ask.

“Yeah, I do. But that's not the point. The point is that I’m better with you. A better person, a better brother, a better musician…I can only be my true self when I have you to share it with. So I am begging you, even though you said you’re not going anywhere, please, just… stay. Be here in the morning. Let me sleep next to you and wake up to your face. Let's wake up early and have coffee and talk about our days. Let me take care of you. That’s all I want. All I’ve ever wanted.” he finishes.

“I love you Jake.” you whisper into his chest. “I promise I’ll never leave you again.”

He tilts your chin up to meet his face, pressing his lips to yours, “I’ll never let you go again.”

It’s quiet for a few minutes before he speaks again, “Close your eyes, I know we have a long day tomorrow, love.”

You nodded against his chest, wrapping your arm around his waist. His hand ran through the strands of your hair as your eyes grew heavy. You both drifted off to sleep with the sound of rain on the window, and the thoughts of each other filling your minds.

—

Your eyes blinked slowly, adjusting to the light in the room. You slept soundly, not even stirring through the night. Last night. You turned your head, looking next to you. Nothing. Was it a dream? Did you drink too much?

You shot up in bed, your heart racing as you looked around the room. It couldn’t have been a dream. You could still smell his cologne on the sheets, and you could feel the ache between your legs. Did he regret it?

Pulling the duvet up and over your chest you saw the note placed on your nightstand. You grabbed it with shaky hands and unfolded it.

Looking for coffee. Took your key. Stay in bed.

Be back soon.

x Jake

Your heart clenched at the written words. How unlike him to be such an early riser. You stood up and carried yourself to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and freshening up before returning to bed. You grabbed his pillow, switching it with yours, breathing in the smell of him, letting your eyes flutter closed.

A few minutes later you heard the door unlocking and you sat up on your elbows. You watched him walk in, two paper cups of coffee in his hands, his eyes searching for you.

He was in different clothes than he was last night, a pair of loose fitting slacks and half buttoned shirt, frayed at the edges. He walked over to the side of the bed, a soft grin on his lips as he placed the coffee on the nightstand.

He leaned over, placing a kiss on your forehead before returning to the other side of the bed. He kicked his shoes off and rejoined you, setting his own coffee on his nightstand.

He opened his arms to you, and you pulled yourself closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You looked up at him, his eyes glimmering in the morning sun, “Good morning. Sleep okay?” he asked.

“I did, but I woke up and thought I must have dreamt it all.” you giggle.

“I know, I’m sorry. That took entirely too fucking long. I was hoping to be back before you woke up.” he said kissing the top of your head.

“They asked me at the little counter, if I needed cream or sugar, and I realized I don’t even know how you like your coffee, so I got both.” he says, talking into the top of your head.

“Just plain. Black. However it comes…I’m not picky.” you say, playing with the frayed edge of his shirt. “You changed.”

“I did. Stopped by my room for a second. My boots were still wet. Felt gross.” he laughed.

You stretched out next to him, “Ugh… what time is it anyways?” you groaned.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, waking the screen, “8:09” he replies.

“Shit!” you say, throwing the blankets off of you and jumping out of the bed. You took a large gulp of coffee before running over to your suitcase.

“What?” he asks, sitting up from the headboard.

“Our flight leaves in like… 4 hours. I have to go wake everyone up! I have to pack, and the van–” you stammer, Jakes laugh interrupting your train of thought.

“Baby…relax. It’s fine. We have plenty of time. Just get dressed. We can do one thing at a time. I will go pack my stuff up while you wake them up. Although, Josh already texted me, so I know he’s up.”

“Is he? Okay, good. One less thing to do.” you say, grabbing your phone from the nightstand, and pulling up the calendar. “Alright, the van is picking us up at 10:15 to go to the airport.”

“See, we have plenty of time.” he smirks.

You turn to him and send him a look, “Have you met yourselves?” you laugh.

“Come back, let me hold you for just a second.” he pouts.

“Jake…” you whine, the temptation growing by the second.

“Please?” he whispers.

“Just for a second.” you say, climbing back into the bed.

He wraps his arms around you, pressing his lips to yours, “Love you…” he says, eyes locked on yours.

Your chest grew warm at his admission. “I love you too, Jake.” you smile, feeling his grip on you grow tighter.

“You know, this doesn't really change the fact that I am breaking my contract. We can’t…do this outside of that door.” you say into his chest.

A sigh leaves his lungs, “I know. We’ll stay professional in front of everyone. You have my word.” he says, pressing another kiss to your head as you giggle.

“How am I supposed to keep my hands off of you all day?” he asks.

“You did it this long…” you laugh, looking up to him and giving him a quick peck before leaving the bed once again.

You quickly dressed for the day and finished your coffee, as Jake lounged in the bed, taking in your every move.

“Okay, I’m out, gonna go get your brothers out of bed, and you need to get out of mine and go pack.” you smile, resting your knee on the bed.

He stands up, sliding his shoes back on, and walking over to meet you. He grabs your waist in his hands and pulls you close, pressing his lips to your ear as he whispers, “Soon you’ll be begging me to stay in bed.”

He places a soft kiss on your throat, before releasing you and heading to the door.

You stood there speechless, just staring at him with a shocked smile.

“Promise.” he says with a wink, before sliding out of your door.

—

As you slide into your window seat you find yourself once again feeling the crippling anxiety of flying. Will this ever feel normal? You were lucky to be flying first class, at the instance of the band. You watched a silent exchange happen between Sam and Jake, switching their seats to let Jake sit with you. Had he already told him?

Jake took his backpack off and stored it in front of him, pulling his book out as he did it. He sat down next to you, sending you a smug grin as he crossed his legs.

“I’m pretty sure that seat was booked for Sam.” you said, speaking lowly, raising your eyebrow in question.

“Well, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want me sitting next to his girlfriend.” he winked.

It hadn’t occurred to you to switch the seat assignments when you bought her ticket last week. To say there was a lot on your mind would have been an understatement.

“Have you seen the attendant, I need a drink, or a valium or something...” you said anxiously, bouncing your knees.

He licked his bottom lip, and you watched as the wheels spun in his head as he nodded slowly. “You know, last time…the flight from Laguardia to here…I thought about you the whole time. Kept peeking over the seat to see if you were okay. I knew you were with Josh, so you were fine, but… just wanted to hold your hand. Tell you it was fine, and it was almost over.” he said, chewing his bottom lip.

“I’ve always been kind of afraid of heights. Flying is… pretty high up…” you replied.

His brow furrowed, as he tilted his head, “But you jumped with me…at the lake?”

Your eyes dart around his face, before landing on his dark brown eyes, “Well, you were with me. You…held my hand. I knew I would be okay if you were there.” you confess.

A deep breath left his nose as his lips curled into a tight smile, “I’m resisting kissing you right now. I really am.”

You toss him a playful smile as the flight attendant takes your drink order. A few minutes later she is returning with the bubbly alcohol, and you toss it back quickly, hoping it would calm your nerves.

SUMMER POV

Running to the gate your backpack bounced on your back as you approached the counter, scanning your ticket. You just had to pee before boarding.

You rushed down the jetbridge, stepping onto the plane, and looking at your ticket. 4E.

Ugh, of course it’s an aisle seat. You quickly stow your camera bag and backpack in the overhead bin, and sit down, just as the safety briefing starts and the door shuts.

You look over at the person next to you and realize it’s not anyone you know. You look around you and see Josh and Daniel a row in front of you, Jake and Y/N across the aisle from you, and Sam and Elle behind them. Why didn’t you ever get to sit by Jake. Or Daniel. Or Josh even?

You pull your phone from your pocket, switching it to airplane mode as you felt the plane begin to taxi. You couldn’t help but let your eyes wander to the seats next to you, watching as Jake carried on quiet conversation with Y/N. You watched his hands and noticed his body language; you knew what it looked like when a man was interested, and after what you witnessed at the bar last night, you were starting to believe your intuition.

The plane began to move faster, speeding down the runway as it lifted into the air. You always hated this part. Turning your head to the side you watched as Jake gripped Y/N’s hand in his, holding it tightly over her leg. The fuck? You blinked rapidly to make sure you were seeing things clearly, and as you refocused you saw his thumb rubbing over her knuckles in a more than friendly way.

Shit, maybe you were right.

Your forehead wrinkled as you turned your attention to the phone in your lap, mindlessly scrolling through apps that wouldn't work with no service as you let your mind wander. I thought he didn’t have time for things like that? I thought he wanted to keep things professional? At least those were her words. Was this her reason all along? How long has this been going on?

You thought back to last night, watching as Jake threw a twenty on the table, rushing out the door. Curiosity got the best of you, following him the best you could, but stopping under the awning of the building, the rain pouring down around you. You saw him, standing there, talking to her. Both of them completely soaked as the rain fell relentlessly. You remember snapping a photo, feeling like it was kind of an artsy shot, but not even realizing what you were capturing.

She played you to get what she wanted, and so did Jake, but if this was how they wanted to play, then game on.

You watched them as inconspicuously as possible throughout the flight, catching every subtle glance, every tiny touch. They really were doing a bad job at trying to hide it. When the plane landed, he touched her again, grabbing her thigh and rubbing circles with his fingers.

You grabbed your things and walked with Josh and Daniel to baggage claim, standing around the carousel waiting for your bags. Jake, Y/N, Sam and Elle, eventually joined you, taking a place behind you to wait for their things.

Daniel found himself in conversation with Jake, and you took your opportunity while you had it, turning to face Y/N, “You know, next time you can put me next to Jake. I’m a nervous flier too, and I’d love to hold his hand like that.”

“He was just being nice, Summer.” she said. Yeah right.

“Yeah, just being nice.” you said sarcastically, turning back around to retrieve your bag.

She stepped forward grabbing her bag and rolled it towards the sliding doors leading outside.

Piling into the van with all of your luggage and cases was difficult but the ride from the airport was short. When you arrived at the office you unloaded your things into your car, grabbing your camera as you perched yourself in the front seat. As you began flipping through the photos from last night you saw it, one tear stained tour coordinator sobbing on the side stage. Why she was crying as she watched, you weren’t sure, but you were fairly confident it had to do with the long haired guitarist that turned you away.

—

HER POV

You watched the cars pull out of the office parking lot. First Josh, then Daniel, then Sam and Elle. You watched as Summer sat in her car as you made your way inside to deposit paperwork and receipts. Jake followed you inside, leaning against the door frame of the accountants office.

“Do you ever stop working?” he asks.

“Rarely. Takes a lot to keep you boys in check.” you smile, flipping the light switch on your way out of the room.

You stop in front of Jake, letting his hands glide around your waist. You push his hands down, glancing out the large office windows. “Jake…”

“What baby, she can’t see in here. What is she even still doing here?” he asks.

“Did you hear what she said at baggage claim?” you ask.

“No? What?” he asks.

“She told me to put her next to you on the next flight so she could hold your hand.” you said seriously.

“I was so anxious I didn’t even think about it. I think she knows something is up. Why else would she be sitting in the parking lot?” you ask.

“I didn’t consider that she might see. I’m sorry.” he says, his face dropping in guilt.

You grab his fingers with yours, pulling him closer, “We just have to be careful. People finding out would just be…a mess.” you say.

“I know. I know. Damn, it hasn’t been one day and I already fucked up.” he scolds himself.

“I’m glad you did it you know…” you say, hoping to lift his spirits.

His eyes flick up to yours, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Instantly made me feel better. Always has.” you smile softly.

He pauses as he stares into your eyes, “Come stay with me.” he breathes.

“Tonight?” you ask. He nods his head in response, sending you your favorite shy smile.

“I need to go home. Get some clean clothes, but…” you pause. “...I guess I don’t see why not.”

“Let me make you dinner?” he asks, bringing your fingers to his lips.

You nod eagerly, hearing nothing but raving reviews about his cooking from Sam the last few months.

“Then I can kiss you as much as I want?” he asks innocently.

“Until your lips fall off.” you smile, pulling away from him and walking to the door.

As you both step outside, he locks the door behind you, and you notice Summer’s car is gone from the lot. Thank god.

Jake walks you to your car, loading your suitcase into your trunk, and shutting it as you slide into the driver’s seat.

“See you in a little while?” he asks, leaning on your open door frame.

“I’ll call you when I’m on my way.” you wink as he shuts the door.

—

Stepping into your apartment felt like entering the twilight zone. The last time you were here you were still enjoying your fling with Sam and Jake was still the scar on your heart. My how things have changed.

You rolled your suitcase into your bedroom, and plugged your phone into the charger as you kicked off your shoes. You flopped yourself down on your bed, and took a deep breath taking in the craziness of the last twenty-four hours.

Did you really have Jake back? You almost couldn’t believe it. It seemed too good to be true. Almost as if he could hear you thinking about him, your phone buzzed with a text.

Jake

6:23pm: Red or White?

Jake

6:24pm: I’m at Kroger if that helps

You smile to yourself as you reply.

You

6:24pm: Red?

Jake

6:25pm: My woman

You

6:26pm: Leaving soon…

You pull yourself up from the bed and make your way into your closet, grabbing a small bag and returning to your bed. You pull your toiletries bag from your suitcase and place it in the bag. You grab a few different options for clothes and throw them in, along with a few silky little things you know he will love.

You change into an old band t-shirt and a pair of leggings, pulling your hair into a ponytail. You rake yourself over in the mirror as your mind stops you. Is this too casual? This was still new but it was Jake… he didn’t care, right?

You grabbed your phone from the charger and threw the charger in the bag, making your way to the living room. After a quick water of all of your plants, you grabbed your bag and made your way out the door, bidding your apartment farewell once again.

You had been to Jake’s house a few times over the last few months, the route burned into your brain via the passenger seat of Sam’s car. You knew how to get there, almost like you were drawn to it. He only lived a few minutes away, so as you pulled out of the parking lot you hit his contact and let the line ring.

“Helloooo….” he answers, his voice low and drawn out.

“Hi, I am on my way…” you say.

“Where is your apartment? I’ve never been there… Wait, is it an apartment? Where do you live?” he asks in succession.

You laugh as you answer, “Yes it’s an apartment, in Midtown. I’m only about 10 minutes away.”

“Ooh, college girl lives in college central...” he says playfully.

“I haven’t been called that in years…” you laugh.

“Mmmm…Well, be careful, call me if you get lost. See you in a few?” he asks.

“In a few.” you say ending the call, the butterflies still stirring in your stomach. You never thought you’d be talking to him on the phone like this again, let alone going to stay at his house.

—

Pulling into the driveway you were a pile of nerves. Why were you so nervous? It’s just Jake? You pulled the key from the ignition and grabbed your bag from the front seat, locking your car as you made your way to the door. You took a deep breath as you knocked on the old wooden door, letting it free as he came into view.

Through the glass in the window you watched him walk towards you, a smile on his face as he spun the lock. The door opened before you, and he stepped back, letting you walk inside.

“I know you’ve been here before but…it feels different this time?” he says nervously rubbing his chin.

You place your bag on the floor, as you approach him, “Give me an official tour?” you ask.

He laces his hand with yours and pulls you into the house further, stopping in the middle of the hallway.

“My bedroom on the left…” he spins you the other way, “My study on the right…”

He leads you up the stairs, and deposits you both on the landing pointing at each room, “Guest room, guest room, bathroom, music room…”

He pulls you back down the stairs, and past the bedroom, into the open kitchen.

“Kitchen, obviously.” he smiles.

You laugh as you lean against his counter, “Thank you for the lovely but brief tour.”

“You’ll have plenty of time to see it all, don’t worry.” he says, grabbing a bottle of wine.

“Oh will I?” you ask.

He turns to look at you, concern written across his face, “I…hope so.”

You smirk at him and look at the bottle in his hands as he twists the corkscrew.

“Can you hand me those glasses behind you, love?” he asks, a softness lacing his voice.

You spin around to see two shining glasses, but they aren’t what catches your eye. In a clear vase sits a small bouquet of white daisies. You feel your heart twist as you look at them.

“Daisies…” you say, passing him the glasses.

A blush creeps across his cheeks as his eyes meet yours, “Yeah…um…they’re for you. I saw them at the store. I–I always think of you when I see them. Reminds me of that day at the lake, and when we used to play ‘she loves me, she loves me not’. But this time I could finally buy them.”

You step over to him, and wrap your arms around his neck, feeling him set down the bottle and the glass, before wrapping his own around you.

“She does, love you.” you say.

“Mmmm…I will never get tired of hearing it.” he hums.

“You’re sweet. When did you get so sweet, huh?” you ask, your lips tickling his.

He pulls you closer, pressing his lips to yours attaching himself to you. His hand slides up from your waist landing on the back of your neck. His tongue swipes across yours lightly, the warmth of his tongue pressing into your mouth. You let your tongue dance with his for a few minutes as your hands roam his chest and neck. He feels just the same as you remember, something you were never able to forget.

He pulls away from your lips, peppering soft kisses across your jaw until he finally pulls away, holding your face with his hand. “God, I wanted to do that all day.”

He clears his throat as he continues pouring two glasses of wine, passing the first to you, before tapping his glass to yours in a silent ‘cheers’.

He grabs your hand and brings you to his study, sitting you on his soft leather couch, and placing his wine glass on the coffee table. He walks over to the fireplace, flipping a switch and you watch as it roars to life, illuminating the room in a beautiful amber glow. A satisfied smile crosses his lips as he grabs his glass and joins you on the couch.

“Your home is beautiful Jake…” you say. “I remember you saying all those years ago, that you wanted a big old house, filled with old things…I think you did it.” you smile, tipping your wine glass to your lips.

He swallows his sip of wine as he stares into the fireplace, “I never thought it would…guess I have you to thank, in a way, I suppose.”

You furrow your brow as you turn to him, “Hmm?”

“Well…You kind of kept me going, even when you were gone. Wouldn’t be here without you I don’t think.” he says.

“Jake, that's not true, you guys were going to make it regardless.” you reply.

“Maybe so. But…that’s not how I see it. The songs that shaped us wouldn’t be what they are if you hadn’t been an influence. On all of us really. Our greatest love songs wouldn’t exist without you.” he adds. “I just wanted you to be proud of me. I didn’t go to college, but you know that… I just wanted to prove that I could be successful without it. Even after you left, I thought maybe you’d see us or hear us... Just wanted you to be proud.”

You quickly place your glass on the table, crawling over him to straddle his lap. You grab his glass and set it on the table with yours before returning your hands to rest on his chest.

“Jake, I’ve always been proud of you. Always.” you say pushing his hair behind his shoulders.

“I have never in my life met someone more passionate, talented and creative than you are. When I saw you on the stage for the first time in Nashville…I was a mess. I couldn’t even explain what was going on inside of me. I was bursting with pride for all of you, but…watching you…finally seeing you in your element…I'd never been more proud of you.”

He rests his hands on your hips, letting his thumbs slide between the crease of your legs and hips, as his face grows pink. “Thank you…Couldn’t have done this without you.”

You respond by pressing your lips to his, weaving your fingers through his hair. He opens his mouth to let you in, letting your tongues tangle together as you let your actions match your emotions. He pulls you down harder on top of him, feeling him grow hard beneath you. He glides your hips forwards and backwards over him, as your kisses become more furious. He moves one of his hands to rest on the back of your head, grabbing a handful of your ponytail, and pulling your head back to give himself access to your neck. His lips move across your throat, nipping and kissing small sections until they are pink with evidence.

“Jake…” you whimper.

He growls against your throat as you feel his hips buck upward into you. Your breath hitches in your throat at the contact. In a swift movement he is scooping his arms under your legs and carrying you a few steps down to the floor, laying you in front of his fireplace on the dark burgundy oriental rug.

Laying you on your back he kneels between your legs, letting his body weight rest on his hands around your head.

“You look pretty right here. Like this. With the fire. I can see it flickering in your eyes.” he says, his lips close to yours. His hand dangles around your face, tickling your cheeks as he speaks.

“I thought your brother was the poet…” you tease.

“Ah, lest you forget we are the same.” he smirks.

You bring your hand up to wrap around his neck, resting your fingers at the base of his hair, “No. You’re not. You’re not the same. There’s no one in the world like you, Jake.”

His lips crashed to yours, as he let himself dip lower towards you. You aren't sure how much time passed as you laid tangled together in front of that fireplace, but as the flames grew hotter, so did the room. Clothes were shed, and a sheen of sweat covered his body, only adding to your desire for him.

As you pulled away from him, you flipped him to his back, watching his chest move as he caught his breath. Even in the dim firelight you could see his lips, wet and swollen, begging you to come back.

“What are you doing, baby?” he whined.

You grabbed your glasses of wine from the table, and handed his to him. You both drank them down, feeling the alcohol immediately begin to warm your bodies even further. As the glasses emptied you brought yourself to your feet, and scurried back to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle and bringing it back with you.

You refilled your glasses, and set the bottle on the table as you sipped from your glass again.

“Are you coming back or are you just going to sit there and look at me over your wine glass?” he jokes.

“I haven’t been able to look at you like this in so long…Just let me...” you replied.

He placed his glass on the floor and put his hands underneath his head. “I know I don’t look the same as I used to I–” you cut him off with your lips.

“I don’t look the same as I used to either, Jake.” you say.

“No, you’re right, you are insanely more gorgeous.” he smiles.

You smile, leaning over him, placing soft kisses down his chest, trailing down his stomach, stopping at the button of his pants.

Your eyes flick up to his as you silently give him your intentions. “Baby…” he growls.

“Hmmm….” you hum, as your fingers slip the button through the loop.

“What about dinner love, aren’t you hungry?” he asks, sitting up onto his elbows, watching as you slide his zipper down.

“Yes Jake, I’m very hungry…” you smile.

“Y/N…” he groans.

You slide your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down gently with his pants. He lifts his hips to let you slide them completely off, kicking them to the edge of the rug as you move further down his legs.

You place a wet, open mouthed kiss to his base, causing his hips to jerk upward, the dark dusting of hair soft against your face.

Kissing up his length you watch as he tosses his head back, exposing every ripple in his chest and throat as he breathes.

You wrap your lips around his tip, letting your tongue swirl around him, and your eyes practically roll back in your head at the taste of him. Just like you remembered.

You take him further into your mouth, letting his tip nudge the back of your throat as you start a rhythm of taking him down and pulling back up. His eyes are locked on yours as you work him, wrapping your hand around his base and letting your lips meet your hand.

“Fuck…” he groans, watching you take him completely and fully, trying his best not to fuck himself into your throat. But that’s exactly what you wanted.

You nodded your head at him as your free hand gripped his thigh. His eyebrows raised, as he questioned what you were trying to tell him. You pulled away from him, and swallowed the spit pooling in your mouth. “Do it. I want it.” you said.

You returned your mouth to him as you felt him tense under your lips, “You tell me if it’s too much.” he said, punctuating his sentence with a thrust into your mouth.

“Shit…” he groaned, his hand coming up to hold your ponytail.

He snapped his hips upward again, pressing firmly to the back of your throat.

“Oh fuck…” he said, throwing his head back. A move you’ve seen time and time again. At least now you knew his headspace when he did it.

You relaxed your throat, ready to take him further, knowing it would push him over the ledge. With his next thrust you swallowed around him, causing his whole body to tense up beneath you.

“Fuck. Yeah, I’m not gonna last…God no one’s mouth is as perfect as yours. Fuck you’re fucking perfect.” he said, letting you repeat the action again.

You twisted your hand around his base, rising and descending one more time as you felt his dick twitch in your grip. You cupped his balls in your free hand as you pressed him to the back of your throat, letting him feel your throat tense around him, and as your eyes flicked up to his, you saw him letting go of control.

You felt him shoot down the back of your throat, filling your senses with him. All of him. He held your head in place as you felt him pulsing into your throat. The moan that left his lips had a rush of wetness pooling at your core in a way only he could do. A string of expletives and your name fell from his lips, as his hand gripped into your hair, not wanting to lose even a second of this feeling.

As you swallowed him down, you released him, and left a soft wet kiss on his stomach, just below his belly button. “I love you Jacob, and I love your body. I will love you any way you come, as long as it’s you.”

“I fucking love you too. No one has ever– They never–You– You’re–” he begins to ramble, before stopping and shaking his head.

“No one compares to you.” he finally says.

You crawl up towards him, letting yourself rest in the crook of his neck. He grabs the back of your knee, pulling your leg to rest over his stomach as you brush the sweaty strands of hair away from his face.

It's quiet for a moment, just the sound of the fireplace and the passing traffic outside.

“I’m so sorry I wasted all this time feeling sorry for myself when I could have been living the best years of my life, right here with you. I’ll never get them back.” you whisper.

“You know, the other night, Josh told me something. Pulled something from me that I didn’t even really know was there. He said the old cliche line, ‘you don’t know what you have until it's gone’. You know what I said? I told him I knew all along what I had. I never took a second for granted. I knew exactly what I had. I think that’s why it hurt so bad when you left. Because I did know. I knew every single thing I was losing. But god, now I have you…I swear on my life I will do anything and everything that I can to keep you. I’ll never let you go. You’re the one I want. You’re the one I need.”

“Did you just recite song lyrics to me?” you laugh.

He turns to face you, a special glint in his eye as he sits up, bringing you with him. He grabs his boxers, pulling them back on, and standing up. He pulls the curtains closed, before grabbing the wine bottle taking a long drag from its opening.

He walks over to the guitar sitting on the stand in the corner, grabbing it and placing himself in the chair near the fireplace.

“What are you doing?” you ask, pulling your knees to your chest.

“What I promised myself I would do a long time ago.” he said, placing a pick in his mouth, smiling around it as he began to strum on the old twelve string.

The opening notes are warm and familiar, filling your soul with that nostalgic feeling you longed for since the night you saw him in that bar. He grabbed the pick from his lips and smiled as he played the opening notes.

“You know, I don’t even know what to play for you first. I’m a little nervous, I’m not gonna lie. Last night you heard this on electric, but that’s not how it’s intended. It’s supposed to sound like this.” he said, playing the familiar tune that made your heart ache. Flower Power.

“Jake…I’ll cry. Do you want me to cry?” you ask, playfully.

“No, no tears…” he says, beginning to play the notes to a different song that you immediately recognize as ‘You’re the One’. You sway on the floor as you watch him play so intently, his eyes never leaving yours.

The song switches again, something you recognize, but can’t name. It’s beautiful and soft, until he switches to something a little darker, and a little deeper. You sit there watching him play, a private show just for you, until he finishes off his medley with a proud grin.

“I knew the first ones, but I couldn’t name the others.” you say, watching him lean the guitar against the chair.

“Well, that’s because some of them don’t have names. No one else in the world has ever heard them. Just me, and now you. But they are yours. All of those were yours.” he admits, shyly.

Your eyes well with tears at his confession, “Do they have words?” you ask.

“Some of them. Not all of them. A lot of them were just the best way I could explain my feelings at different points. A lot of those pivotal songs have ended up on our albums…I think one of these might too.” he says.

“Then, it won't be ours?” you ask.

“It will always be ours. But I want to tell the world how much I love you. Waited all my life to love you like this again.”

You blink back tears, knowing if you ask him to elaborate you’ll be a mess.

“What about the last one? It sounded…kind of sad.” you said.

“Yeah…I wrote that when you went away. After Nashville. Didn’t know if you were coming back.” he says.

“I couldn’t really leave you Jake.” you admit. “I just needed to think. All I thought about was you.”

He nods his head, “I know what you mean.”

You tossed back the rest of your wine, the alcohol definitely contributing to the sharing of feelings taking place.

“I’m sorry about everything Jake. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out.” you say.

“I know baby, I know you were just trying to do the right thing.” he says, taking the last sip of his own wine.

Your eyes scan over the old, worn in guitar, taking in each and every carving on the back, more than you even remember.

“Do you write all your songs on that guitar?” you ask.

“Not all of them, but the ones that matter the most, seem to come from this one.” he smiles, spinning it around as he looks at it.

“Love this one. Means more to me than most everything I own.” he says.

“You know, when I got back from the Fourth…it was gone. I panicked. I looked everywhere for it.” he said.

“Where was it?” you asked.

“Well, Sophia had decided that it needed to be “fixed up” and took it to have it sanded down and refinished.” he said, a bit of venom lacing his words.

You gasped as you threw your hand over your mouth. No.

“Exactly. That was my reaction too. She didn’t understand why it was special. Not that she ever could. Kept calling it an old beat up guitar or something like that. I was pissed. Left immediately to go pick it up, and thankfully they hadn’t done anything yet but remove the strings.”

“Oh my god.” you said, full of shock.

“I know. I got lucky. I knew right then that her and I were done. She would never respect something like this. She didn’t respect me either apparently. Anyways, yeah. I love this one. Makes me think of you everytime I hold it. Little pieces of you all around.” he said, placing it back in the stand.

“You’re kind of romantic, you know?” you say playfully.

“Ahh…just for you.” he winks.

Your stomach growling, draws your attention to the fact that neither of you had eaten. “Gosh what time is it? I'm starving.” you ask, looking around the room.

Jake points to a small clock on the bookshelf behind you, “10:57”. He answers.

“Oh my gosh, Jake… have we really been…that caught up?” you laugh.

A smile spreads across his face, “I can go get started on dinner…” he says, grabbing the empty bottle of wine as he rises to his feet.

“Jake, no…It’s so late. You don’t have to cook a whole meal, we can do it tomorrow or–” you stop yourself realizing what you’d implied.

A knowing grin stretches across his lips, “Tomorrow, huh?”

“No, I didn’t mean to invite myself over, I just meant if you wanted to cook it tomorrow instead you coul–” his laugh cuts you off.

“Dinner, tomorrow. For real this time, okay?” he says, picking up on your nervous energy and quickly calming it.

You nod bashfully, as he makes his way out of the room, but he stops in the doorway, turning to look at you.

“I think I have something you’ll like instead. Stay here. I’ll be right back.” he says, with a smirk as he walks to the kitchen.

You stood up, walking over to the bookshelf as you heard his feet pad to the kitchen. You scanned the spines on the shelf, stories of history, pirates, and war filling the spaces. Even rock stars need an escape sometimes. You look at the pictures framed in silvers and golds that adorn the shelves, faces you knew, some you didn’t, but one in particular catching your eye near the bottom. You, Sam, and Jake, standing in front of the Kiszka house, just shortly before your Senior year of highschool.

You remember that morning pulling up into their driveway, Sam running out the door with his backpack and his breakfast, a chaotic mess. Karen bursting out the door after him insisting on taking a picture of the two of you. You begrudgingly turned your car off and walked up to the porch with Sam. Just as she was about to snap the photo Jake walked out in nothing but his sweats, and you could hardly take your eyes off of him.

Karen forced him into the photos with you, instructing you all to smile as she shot the photo. You never saw the final product, and seeing it now on his bookshelf you wonder why it’s here, and why it has such a prominent place on the shelf.

“I woke up early that morning. Dragged myself out of bed just to see you in the driveway.” Jake whispers over your shoulder, causing you to jump.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to look through your stuff.” you said. “You scared me.”

“Got the call later that day that they signed us for the first album…Wouldn’t have ever happened without the two of you.” he says.

You turned to face him, watching as he set two plates on the coffee table, chuckling under his breath at the shock written on your face. You stepped around him towards the table, feeling light headed from the wine as you sat down on the floor. He sat next to you, pushing a plate towards you.

Looking at it you felt your chest grow warm, “Are these–”

“Yeah. Always stuck with me that they're your favorite.” he smiled shyly.

Two perfectly made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches sat on the black plate. He remembered.

“After I saw the flowers at the store, I was like, “What else could I get for her?” and I remembered they were your favorite midnight snack, or they used to be. Next thing I knew I found myself in front of the peanut butter debating on crunchy or smooth. I knew it wouldn’t matter but, I tried to remember your favorite…wait do you even like these still? If not I can probably make something els–” you cut him off pressing your lips to his cheek.

“They’re my favorite. You’re my favorite. Better than any fancy dinner you could ever make for me.” you say picking up the first one, taking a bite.

“Grape jelly?” you giggle.

“Is there really any other option?” he laughs, biting into his own.

“No, and anyone who says there is, is just wrong.” you giggle.

As the two of you sat there, talking and drunk giggling over your makeshift dinner you realized that it wouldn’t matter if the band never took off. If they never made it out of Frankenmuth. It was never about that. Sure you were proud of him. But you didn't love Jake because of who he was now. Not the things he could give you, or do for you in his newfound fame. You loved him because he saw you the same as you saw him. You loved him for who he was before all of this. When he was just Sam’s mysterious older brother who made you blush in the kitchen. You loved him because he loved you. Deep, vast and unwavering.

You knew right then that every single night could end with PB&J’s at the coffee table, and you’d love every second of it, as long as it was him there next to you.

—

After one more glass of wine and a few more laughs, the both of you decided on a quick shower, before you got into bed. Jake's bedroom was warm and inviting, and exactly what you imagined for him. Dark colors, and rich gold tones instantly calming your mood upon entry.

Washing off the travel day with Jake next to you was nothing short of blissful. The steam from the shower relaxed your tense muscles as you worked the shampoo and conditioner through your hair. His peppermint scented products added to the aromatherapy aspect, relaxing you further, until you were practically on autopilot to the bedroom. It had been a long couple of days and you were ready to melt into the bed for a while, completely undisturbed and wrapped in Jake.

Pulling your brush through your hair, you decided on sleeping in the nude tonight, wanting nothing more than to feel his body on yours. You slipped into the bed, as Jake followed suit. He flipped the knob on his lamp, and pulled you into his arms, his bed smelling wholly and completely of him. Immersed in the scent and feel of him around you, you knew it would only be seconds until you were drifting off.

“I never thought I’d get this…” he whispered into your hair.

“What? Wet hair in your face?” you joked.

“No, my girl, in my bed. Everything seems… like it’s in its place.” he said, trying to make sense of his emotions.

“I’m happy too Jake. More than I can say.” you reply.

His arm tightened around your waist, as his body conformed around yours, feeling every inch of him pressed tightly to you.

“Tell me you’re mine, just one more time…” he breathed.

“I’m yours, I always have been, and I will be until we take our last breath. And maybe even after that too. Wherever we end up, I know I’ll be there with you.”

JAKE POV

Don’t laugh…don’t laugh...

You had awoken to the feeling of the lightest touch of a fingertip grazing your lips, and the feeling of a warm and steady exhale on your face. You pretended to stay asleep, savoring this moment with everything you had.

She’s in your bed. She’s really here. This hasn’t all been a dream…

Her single fingertip was tickling your lips and nose, drifting from your cheeks, across your chin and back up the other side. You tried to keep your eyes from flitting, giving her any indication that you were awake. But god, it tickled. You tried to think about anything else to distract yourself from it, mostly imagining how her face must look right now. Taking you in, memorizing your new, more aged features. Feeling such simple intimacy with only the slightest touch.

Her finger grazed your lip again, and you opened your mouth slightly to catch it, pinching it between your lips. You opened your eyes just enough to see her face, her head propped up on one elbow as she stared at you.

“I knew you were awake. I was seeing how long it took for you to break.” She smiled softly, sleep lacing her voice.

You released her finger. “No you didn’t, you were just enjoying staring at my beautiful face, weren’t you?” You teased through your own sleepy haze.

Her giggle filled the air in your room, and the dreams you were having about her finally cleared away enough for you to come out of unconsciousness. You snaked your arm around her, bringing her unclothed body to lay on top of yours.

“Mmm, never got dressed, huh?” You said, bringing your mouth to kiss her chest and the curve of her breasts, leaving a trail of wet spots across her skin as she leaned forward into you. You brought her nipple into your mouth, giving it the tiniest nibble before spiraling your tongue around it.

She brought her knees up to your sides, sitting her warmth on top of your unapologetic morning wood. She raised her eyebrows as she noticed your situation.

“Nope, if I would’ve had clothes on I wouldn’t have been able to do this first thing.” She sat down on you, swaying and shaking her hips against your length, making you all but quiver underneath her.

Just the contact of her skin on yours was intoxicating enough to bring you plummeting into craving her, again and again and again. You could feel the warmth of her parted lips on your dick as she massaged her swollen bud against you, up and down and in little circles, sending herself into bliss.

“God, I fucking love you, Y/N.” The words escaped your lips as you reached your hand to hold her neck from behind, pulling her into a deep kiss as she teased you.

She inhaled sharply at your confession mixed with your tongue exploring her mouth, swirling and moving in all the right ways to bring you closer and closer to giving up, and grabbing her hips and lining yourself up.

She began to move her hips in a figure-eight motion, her pooling wetness making everything extra slick. Your hands did end up finding her hips, grasping at them and helping her ride.

Watching her move against you was like watching a secret film made just for you, for your eyes only. You watched as her torso muscles contracted as she pulled her slick across you, your fingertips digging into her sides as you held on. You lifted her off of you just slightly, trying your best to guide yourself inside her. Your head was spinning in its still sleepy state, and you were unable to formulate any coherent thoughts.

She stiffened, tightening her muscles just enough to sturdy her body from moving any further down on you.

“Ah-ah.” She shook her head, telling you to cease your controlling moves. Fuck. She continued rolling her hips in all directions, causing you to begin to come undone without any penetration whatsoever. Finally, she let your head slip in just slightly, maybe an inch, before pulling herself right back off again and continuing her tortuous movements.

“Godddd what the hell are you trying to do to me?” You gritted your teeth together, feeling absolutely out of control, and loving it.

Then she did it again, letting you in just the tiniest bit. She started to slowly bounce, never letting you in more than a few inches. She squeezed around your tip, causing you to tilt your head back in pure euphoric heaven. A moan escaped your lips; she hardly has done anything at all, and you’re already falling apart and at her mercy.

Suddenly she bottomed out, taking all of you inside her in one single motion. She sat for a second, adjusting herself. Instead of pulling herself up on you, she simply began to rock her hips, circling them slowly with the tiniest motions. You weren’t sure how, but she was already bringing you to the edge, and she hadn’t even begun really anything at all. She sat almost still, squeezing herself around you, barely moving her hips…letting you truly feel her. She sat back on you, grabbing onto your legs behind her. The visual was insane. Your hands found her breasts again, and you wrapped each hand around their curves, massaging them lightly.

You sat up, meeting her face to face, chest to chest. You wrapped your arms around her and pulled her impossibly close. She never stopped her grinding, her tiny calculated movements causing you to hit her differently now in this new position. Her legs were wrapped tightly around you, and you found your vision beginning to blur at the sight of her coming closer to her own release.

“Keep going baby…don’t fight it...” you whispered.

“Jake…you feel...” she spoke quietly, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back as she tightened around you, letting her release wash over her. That was all it took, you were collapsing below her, still holding her to you while you released slow and deep into her. Her whimpers carried out through the room, taking your mind right along with them. After a few seconds, you lifted her head back up to meet yours, foreheads touching as you both breathed yourselves down from your highs.

She was here. She was real. And there was no other way you wanted to wake up for the rest of your life.

Part 13

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