#wee boats

[idlesuperstar]

Conrad Veidt as Captain Hardt in The Spy In Black [Powell & Pressburger, 1939]

[themintman]

mongoose for aiden? :3

SOMEONE isn't happy to be here!

[zuppizup]

Breathe

They’re through the worst of it, or so she tells herself. She can already see clear skies up ahead, even if they’re still grey and oppressive right above them.

So, why can’t she shake this unsettled feeling? Why does it feel like she still can’t catch her breath? Like any minute now she’ll go over board…?

Like she’s drowning right now, on deck.

She needs space. Space to sort out her stupid, messed up head, so she pushes herself away from the stern. Tries to slip away unnoticed.

Out of the corner of her vision she sees Callum turn, body shifting in her direction as she hurries away.

Now that the storm has passed, all those without a specific job are watching the churning seas slip away from them. Sink below the horizon. She should be able to sneak away unnoticed.

It feels like her breath is getting harder and harder to catch as she grips the stairs and stumbles down into the cabin. Maybe she just needs to lie down or have a drink or something?

Maybe she’s sick? Not just perpetually sea sick, but actually, properly sick.

She’s never felt like this before. Like every breath is a struggle. Like her arms and legs are almost too jittery and shaky to support her weight… like her mind is full to bursting, but utterly empty at the same time.

She’s sick. That must be it.

That’s why the edge of her vision is going black, why she can’t put one foot in front of the other... why she falls to her hands and knees as her lungs scream for breath...

She tries to crawl to her bunk, but even her arms and legs give out and she collapses to the hard floor, barely even registering the pain as her cheek connects with the rough wood.

Gasping for breath, all she can think is “I’m dying, I’m dying, dying, dying-”

Over and over. Nothing profound or life changing.

“Rayla, are you okay?”

Just relentless terror as her body screams for air but none comes.

“Rayla!”

A voice... far away, she thinks.

Too far to help her.

Boots on the stairs, and then just behind her as she is lifted off the floor and cradled tenderly.

“Rayla, you’ve got to stay with me!”

Callum’s voice, she barely registers.

She thinks her eyes are open but everything is dark as she tries to force air into her lungs. It won’t come though, and her body won’t even obey her enough to sob.

“Shush, Rayla. You’ll get through this.” Callum’s voice is calm and steady as he shifts her in his arms. A hand cradling her cheek, thumb rubbing her skin tenderly. “Breathe. You just need to breathe.”

She concentrates on his voice. Pushes the rocking of the boat far away. Tries to forget the dark, endless ocean that surrounds them… the terror and uncertainty that is everything right now.

She focuses on Callum. On his steady presence, the slow rise and fall of his chest against hers. His gentle warmth surrounding her. Making her feel safe.

She doesn’t know how long he holds her for, how long it takes for her breathing to return to normal. By the time her vision returns, she’s utterly exhausted, like she’s spent a full day training in the hot sun.

Blinking, she looks up at Callum, surprised to see him pale, his skin clammy and lip swollen and red where he’s been biting it.

He smiles when she looks at him though. Big and wide and open and she notices his jaw shake just a little as he sighs and some of the tension seems to leave his shoulders.

Shifting her a little in his arms, he strokes her cheek, smiling tenderly as he blinks his glassy eyes. “Is that a twinkle I see in your eye?”

[genderfluid-druid]

gonna try to catch a boat tonight 🔥

[hawaii-n-jones]

wild to me as an american that canadian currency frequently shows up in rolls of change from the bank and is easily spent as american currency

[mycological-mariner]

I’m gonna be seeing my little brother for the first time in years in a couple of weeks and we’ve been talking and I mentioned reading The Worst Journey and mentioning Scott to which my brother said “Oh yeah, didn’t they name a ship after him? And it was special made for going to the Antarctic or something? It’s got a penguin painted on it.” I am DELIGHTED by this news of a giant penguin and my brother sends me a photo he took of the Scott last time it was in harbour and INDEED THERE IS A LARGE PENGUIN PAINTED ON IT. We’re obviously going to try and see if it’ll be in harbour when he’s here so we can go visit and see the penguin.

[amidst-wonderland]

.

[hecksupremechips]

I love me some homoerotic torture 🥰

[jmunneytumbler]

That’s Auntertaiment Mini-Episode: What’s Jeff Watching? #13

PHOTO CREDIT: Jeff’s Parents Holiday recap, mostly. https://d3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net/staging/2024-0-12/363233399-44100-2-df7117d0f0f1f.m4a

[lovifie]

Fishy Business (Mermay'24)

Mermaid!Soap x Reader

4k words - masterlist

Cw: injuries, smut, oral sex, unprotected p in v, monsterfucking(?, let me know if I missed any 💙

Johnny has been living in the tank for two weeks now.

Discovering mermaids were real, shock the world, but in all honesty, only for a couple of days before the evil human mind started to think of ways to profit out of them.

Luckily, mermaids were not stupid and knew perfectly fine that they needed to stay away from the human reach; almost able to smell the putrid aroma of ill intentions pouring out of them.

But no matter how good they hide, humans still find the way to, even if not on purpose, to damage the ecosystem. And when you get the call that a mermaid got his tail tangled on the propeller of a boat and needed urgent care, you weren't really surprised.

You sent your instructions, so the poor thing could get the needed treatment while you made your way to Pentland Firth.

It only took you a couple of days to reach John Price's aquarium. Gruff, big guy that offered the empty tank at his fish sanctuary to keep the merman until it got released.

A solid handshake was his welcoming greeting when he opened the door and he let you into his house. “It's nice to finally meet you, Doctor. You’re making quite a name for yourself lately.” He said, a kind smile on his face making his beard move with it and wearing a funny looking hat more fitting of a sailor on his head.

“Well, not so hard to do so when there is so little competition in mermaid care.” You answered, not completely lying. Little was known about the mermaids, and almost every paper that got published was the first of its kind. Your name just happened to appear on most of them.

“Then I can assume you know your way around them? Sneaky little shits, with kind eyes and sharp teeth.” He said, a chuckle leaving his mouth as if he just remembered something.

“To be completely honest, you have probably seen more than me.” You admit, as you walk next to him, trying to keep up with his pace. “I hear they are quite a number up North, they must like the cold.”

“They like the lack of people.” He almost interrupts you with a low unhumorous chuckle. “This one swam a wee bit to the south… and look what happened.”

You see him shake his head, as if he felt guilty himself of the creature getting hurt. “Anyway, ready to meet him?” He asks, the kind smile back on his face as he takes a corner. He opens the only glass door on the hall, and with a hand on the small of your back, he lets you into the platform sitting over the water surface inside of the tank.

The metal platform rustles with the weight of the man walking alongside, only stopping when he walks up to the man standing at the end of the gangway. Standing just a couple of feet away from them you are able to comprehend their size, massive men, broad, strong, muscular, tall men. They definitely don't look like the classical marine biologist who would own a fish sanctuary.

But then the water splashes, making you look to where the surface of the water is rippling, but without any sign of what causes it.

“Simon, let me introduce you to the doctor. Doctor, Simon here has been the person in charge of following your instructions.” He slaps Simon's back hard, it reverberates against the tank walls but the blonde looks like he didn't even feel it. He is wearing a surgical mask and the rest of his body is covered by a wetsuit. A little contradictory thing.

“Nice to meet you, Simon. How has it been?” You ask, smiling as you look up at him.

“Like givin’ a stray cat a bath.” He mumbles, shaking your hand with a strength that has you trying your best not to shake with it.

“And him? How is it?” You ask, trying your best to be professional and not act like a kid in a candy shop. But the truth is, this is the first time you are going to interact directly with a merman.

“Hm… Like a stray cat that got splashed with cold water.” He says, shrugging his shoulders.

“You are good with metaphors…” You mumble, hearing Price snickers behind you. “So… not really happy with the treatment, then?’

Simon shakes his head, looking back into the water. “Nah, the sashimi shit doesn't want anyone to touch him, and his tail is looking more and more grey as days go by.”

You hum, nodding as you turn to also look into the water. “I'll work on some antibiotics to pour into the water… it won't be as effective, but it'll be a start.”

Price turns as well, all eyes on the water looking for the creature that seems to have disappeared into the water. Camouflage abilities are not to be dismissed taking in consideration how little is known about them, but if Simon was just dealing with him, they should be able to see it.

You look into the deep end, the hairs of your nape rising when you feel eyes on you. But the water in front of your eyes is empty, not a droplet moving out of his place and the only thing you can hear is both men breathing next to you.

“How does he look? Maybe if I have a mental image I can-”

You don't get to finish your sentence, at least not before you feel a wet hand wrap around your ankle and pull it. Hard.

It doesn't give you time to use your hands to stop the fall before your chin knocks the metal of the ground, the skin bursting at the hard hit. A single drop of blood mixes with the water underneath before two pairs of hands grab your arms keeping you from going under the water.

At the pull of your body, you feel sharp claws rupture the surface of your skin where they are holding you, only stopping when Simon stomps his foot right beside yours, threatening to step on him next.

“Enough, Johnny!” He snarls at the creature, standing between you and him, while you cling to Price's legs. If you end up underwater, you are not going alone.

It is hard for you to focus your sight on anything, panic and pain mixing in your system. Only being able to see the creature when you hear him hiss at Simon. The stray cat comparison of Simon being really appropriate now.

The merman captivates you, looking perfectly human, still knowing that no human would stand so high over the surface in open water like him, your brain forcing you to remember the fish-like tail under the water.

You can't bring yourself to pull your eyes from him, both your hunger for knowledge from finally being so close to a real breathing merman and both for the fine specimen of a man staring you up and down like you will be his next dinner.

It's Price the one that pulls you away, helping you on your feet and keeping his arm around your waist to help you walk without resting weight on your foot as he walks you out of the tank. Behind you, and without you noticing, Simon and Johnny share a knowing look, only broken when Johnny gives him a short nod before sinking back in the water, the taste of your blood still floating on it..

It's already night time when you hear the noises, like a piece of furniture falling against the floor. And against your better judgement, you walk, well, limp out of the room you were laying down in.

Turns out Simon and Price are not the only ones living in the sanctuary, and there is a third man called Kyle who was the one that bandaged up your foot and chin.

The ground trembles under your feet as you walk closer, each step you take letting you know with more certainty that the sound is coming from Johnny's tank. You see it before he sees you, standing in the shadows behind the glass door as the merman swims in circles.

Gaining inertia before slamming his body against the wall of the tank making it shake. You see his nostrils flare with his troubled breathing, the grills on his neck moving just as fast. It's such a worrying behaviour that your doctor brain makes you act on it before you can realise how stupid of a decision it is.

You turn the knob opening the door, barely managing to get a foot in before a deep voice startles you. “What th’ fuck did ye pour intae th’ water?! I'm fucking drowning!”

It takes you a second to realise it is the merman talking to you, muscular chest rising with each hard breath as his arms, big enough to crush a skull, hold his body over the water surface.

It also takes you a second to realise that what he means is the medicine in the water, the pungent taste of the chemicals probably making him struggle to breath as normal as before.

“It's the antibiotics.” You answer, almost mumbling. The lights from the tank making the water reflect into the walls in a beautiful imaginary that almost works to trick your brain into ignoring the danger. “For your tail.”

“My tail is perfectly fine! I dinnae need yer bullshit! I need tae go back!” He shouts back, slamming his fist on the metal like a petulant child.

“It is infected! If it enters your blood system you could die!” You shout back, setting both feet a step further into the tank.

“Lies! Human inventions! I'm perfectly fine!” The water splashes around his body when he waves his tail to push himself further out of the water.

“If you were fine you wouldn't stink of rotten fish!” Another step closer to him.

“I dinnae stink! That's just how I smell!” He sits on the gangway, pushing his body out of the water to do so, the massive tail that forms his lower body making the metal creak under his weight.

The sheer size of it doesn't stunt you, it being just proportional to the width of his upper body. But the scales that cover it, dazzling with the light of the reflections and looking like its own miniature sea. Speckles of blue, green and silver dancing around making it hard to look away from it, and making it impossible to miss the pink colour of the exposed meat. Not grey anymore.

“It is already looking better…” You explain, pointing to his wound as you keep walking closer. “You cannot tell me that it doesn't hurt less.”

He follows the direction you point at, quickly moving back so it is under the water; away from your gaze and making you frown at how little time you had to stare.

“That's just because time went by…” He says, almost mumbling and averting your gaze. “I need to go back.”

“Why?” You ask, the volume of your voice also lowering as you bend down to sit, crossed legged but with the injured one still sticking out. “Somebody waiting for you?”

“Yes!” He raises his voices once again, exasperated with your ignorance of his issues. “Everyone is fooling around, and next year when they all havd their wee bairns I'll be alone and I dinnae wantae! 'n' I cannae dae nothing about it cause a'm stuck here!”!”

His words slowly clicks into place, his eagerness to leave, the specially shiny scales, wandering outside of his territory. “It's mating season… mermaids have mating season?”

This is not the time to be asking these questions, you are here to help the merman heal not to study him like an aquarium specimen. But you can't help yourself to ask, only second guessing yourself when the merman looks at you like you just grew a second head. “Obviously… humans dinnae?”

You stare at him, thinking it thoroughly before answering. “Not… really, no.”

“And when do humans mate?”

“...anytime”

The disgust appears on his face as if you had just insulted him and everyone he has ever loved.

“Ye spend th’ whole year shagging, and then have the balls to call us beasts… hypocrites.”

“It's not like that!” You exclaim, suddenly afraid of disappointing the beautiful merman. There is a split second in with you remember every singles fable that talk about dangerous mermaids are, how they lure people in with pretty songs and prettier faces only to get eaten alive, how they trick sailor man to crash their boats in the rocks and then they have a feast on the corpses.

The alarm bell is loud and clear in your head, but just as easily it gets silenced when his wet warm hand lands on your injured foot, right under the bandages. He looks confused at it, eyebrows furrowed and slight pout on his lips.

You shouldn't let him grab you, last time he didn't drown you because Simon and Price picked you up. But you are alone now, and instead of pulling your foot back, you lean in, closer to the creature, and peel the bandages up, showing him the wound.

“I did this?” He asks, his fingertip grazing the skin surrounding the wound. You nod at him, your eyes glued to his face not wanting to lose a single expression of him. He furrows his eyebrows again, his hand moving to rest on the underside of your calf. “Humans are weak… I barely touched ye.”

“We are not weak… You just have sharp nails…” The sound of your voice makes him pull his gaze up, catching how you scratch the skin close to the wound of your chin, the sting from the stitches making you itch.

He pulls your leg again, softer this time, and it should worry you more with how much ease he is able to move you, with a grasp of your foot he easily slides you closer, leaving your feet hanging over the water.

He lays his hand flat beside your leg, propping himself up out of the water. With his arm completely stretched he towers over you, making you pull your head back so you can see his face. He looks down at you, cocking his head.

His other hand finds his way to your jaw, pulling your head even further back so he can see the wound on your chin. You can't see him with the new angle of your neck, but you can feel him get closer to your throat.

The feeling of his breath on the skin of your neck makes every hair on your body stand on end. The alarm bells ring in your head again, this man, as handsome as he is, is still an apex predator in the water that would be able to dismember you in seconds if he wanted to.

Still, and with that knowledge in mind, you have to bite your tongue to keep any tell-tale sounds from escaping you when you feel his face so close to yours.

"I dinnae do this one.... Are ye going to stick to yer theory that ye'r not weak? Or are ye just soft?" his deep voice murmurs, causing a shiver to travel down your spine.

His hand that was on your jaw moves down, resting on your thigh for a second before squeezing the soft flesh. Moving up slowly, dragging it over your skin to your hip, his thumb anchoring itself in the crease of skin between your thigh and your belly. Squeezing the flesh once more making you jump.

As his hand continues to move up, squeezing and whispering against your neck. "Soft... Soft from head to toe.... See? Soft, soft, soft..."

With each repetition of the word, he grabs a different part of your body. Your thigh, your hip, your tummy, your waist and it is when he reaches your chest, his hand wrapping around the soft flesh of your breast that he finally gets a sound to fall from your lips in the form of a faint moan of his name.

"What is it, my soft girl? I can feel yer pulse rising..... It's not fear, innit? Or something… else?" The whine that escapes your lips echoes against the walls of the tank, encouraging the merman in his movements.

The merman presses his wide body between your legs, forcing you to spread them apart to accommodate his width. And before you are able to form a full thought, about everything that is wrong with your actions; how morally wrong, how dangerous, what this could mean for your career... you feel the man's wide tongue travel from your collarbone to behind your ear, scorching your skin with the heat of his body.

Your hands grip his shoulders on impulse, feeling the strength leave your body as you feel him roll his hips against yours.

His assault on your neck continues, nibbling and licking until you instinctively wrap your legs around his hips. By the time you realise you are lying on the platform, opening your eyes to see the massive merman on top of your body with lust in his blue eyes.

You look down to where his hips are pressed against yours when you feel an unfamiliar weight over your pubic bone. Once again, a day's worth of interactions with this specimen is proving more productive than previous years of study, for the great unknown of how mermaids reproduce has just been revealed to you as you see the merman's member lying on your body.

And you are only aware of what kind of expression you have to have on your face when he speaks to you. "What's the matter, ye humans donnae have this either?"

"No, no, they have it, like... some do, but not so... like this.”

Once again, a deep chuckle drips from his chest making you look up to him as he looks down on where your pyjama shorts stick to your clothes when they get wet from the water dripping from his body. His fingertips bury themselves under the hem of your pants, trying to pull them down but grunting when he can't because his body is in the way.

He leans back, sinking back into the water and finally pulling your pants and underwear off, leaving you bare and exposed to him from waist down. You try to think of a reason as to why you seem so unbothered by his advances, it must be some kind of mermaid powers. The guy that took you on a date and asked to go to your home later? No. The guy you met online that asked to meet? iugh. But the merman on the tank that could ruin your career? Yeah, he's alright.

But mermaid powers or not, the way you feel his tongue lap at your soaked folds is very real and so is the whiny moan that falls from your lips. You feel him bury his face even deeper into your cunt, slurping the juices and moaning at the taste of them making you curl your toes. His hands move under your thighs, locking you in place so he can peacefully devour you.

Even though the man has no intentions of pulling back, you still grab the hair at the top of his head urging him closer which he happily complies making you moan softly. One of his hands moves closer to your cunt, dragging his claw over your skin making you shudder at the feeling.

You worry for a second that the merman will scratch you just like he did on your ankle, but instead he uses two fingers to spread your folds leaving you as exposed as he can before shoving his tongue into your entrance making you arch your back. The muscle dragging along the ribbed walls of your cunt, flooding his mouth with the taste of you.

A shameless whine escapes your lips when you feel him pull his face back, your grip on his head lacking all force. He coos at you, shushing your cries as he turns you on your stomach, keeping one of your knees bent as he slots himself behind you.

He props himself on an arm, keeping his chest flush against yours as his other arm hugs you pulling you impossibly closer to him as he rolls his hips to slide his already hardening dick between your folds, making you buck your hips to meet his movements. The heat of his wet body making you ache for more, to feel him closer, deeper.

You lower your hand, placing it between your legs and keeping his cock from moving forwards, making it sink into your welcoming walls. A harmony of moans filling the tank when he slowly sinks into you, the weight of his shaft inside of you feeling comforting in the cold of the tank.

The merman buries his face on the crook of your neck, biting softly your skin, just enough to feel you between his teeth as he moves his hips back, moaning at the feeling of your tight warm cunt sucking him back in.

He moans in tandem with you, a song of your voices accompanying the dance of your bodies. Everytime Johnny's hips move forwards, yours move back, the sound of skin slapping growing louder as his movements get faster.

Every snaps of his hips threaten to pull the air out of your lungs, leaving you unable to do anything else but moan at the feeling of his length hitting so deliciously deep while stretching your gummy walls to accommodate his girth.

“A'm gonnae tak' ye wi’ me once I'm out… would ye lik' that, bonnie lassie? Keep ye close, fucked ‘n’ dined, nae a single worry inside of that bonny head of yers but to take my big fucking cock as good as yer right now…” Every filthy word that leaves his lips, falling like melted honey into your ears making you clench around him, is accentuated with a snap of his hips making you bounce on his arms.

His arm that was hugging you moves lower, fingertips travelling down between your legs and rubbing tight circles over your clit making you whine as you close your eyes. You can hear his tail splash in the water with his movements, and you can tell when his thrust starts to become sloppier, almost losing the rhythm, but keeping it long enough for you to combust around his shaft.

He groans on your shoulder when your walls clench around his length like a vice, milking him for what he's worth, making hims moan against your skin as he keep moving his hips, slowly, letting the two of you ride out your orgasm as you try to get air back into your lungs.

Under the tank, on the underground level of the sanctuary and hidden in the shadows, three pairs of eyes see how Johnny kisses your shoulder softly.

“You know… I was feeling bad about dragging the poor girl into this mess, but… I don't think she minds it too much.” Gaz says, eyes glue to the two of you.

The thing is, that just like sailors knew that the earth was round long before anyone else; they also knew mermaids were real long before the rest of the world. But being able to communicate with one of the sea apex predators has its benefits, and negotiating with them usually translates to an improvement on the business.

And if the merman they accidentally run over with their boat says he wants a cute little partner to repopulate the north sea in exchange of pushing the fishes towards their fishing nets… they will get him a girlfriend to keep him happy.

After all, since humans always find a way to benefit from mermaids, it's only fair that mermaids benefit from humans too.

I hope you guys still wanted some mermaids, I don't know how it took me so long 🩷

Taglist: @crashtestbunny @going-to-ikea-for-the-fries @waiting-so-long @mothymunson @cod-z

@lyralein @thevoidwriting @sklt987659 @thatonepupkai @darkangel4121

@spadekip @herefor-tojis-tits @soupinasock @arbesa-mind @cmbghost

@multifandomheathenannie @tooloudarts @panikk-attackkk @reap3erslov3 @mothsdrabbles

@cassiecasluciluce @sleepdeprivedkat @lunamoonbby @hatterripper31 @contractedcriteria

@vxnilla-hxrddrugs @fraserbraw @rosiehale23 @keiva1000 @sw33tsnow

@loveandplanet @sobbingnshtting @dprmoon @simpsallthetime1997 @ladyxtiger

@soapsmohawk-16 @nina6708 @katreintjie @sacvh @thesinsoflust

@sodavrr @yuki2129 @idk-justkane @shanhalen @dukeofjjune

@vane28282 @dracu1ara @vivi2e @lordbugs @murder-hobo

[xoxoemynn]

Summary of Samba's S2 Tidbits

Sharing some highlights I found for those who don't have Twitter. Many thanks to those who shared!!

From this thread:

Buttons had a roped tied around him because he kept trying to run back to the sea.

A scene was cut about everyone at Jackie's discussing what they would have in their Dream Boat - Pete said Lucius, Wee John wants to be a room person, Oluwande wants to be with Jim, Roach wants a kitchen.

Izzy was hit with a dry bread sandwich filled with a pickle and dried jerky in S1 and Roach made the same sandwich for when they kicked Blackbeard off in S2. No one knew Taika was going to hit the sandwich to Rhys the three of them came up with it that's why Nathan was laughing.

Calypso's birthday was initially going to be Lucius and Pete's wedding.

Roach is a verified Ned Low Stan!

Improvised scenes: the thumb war (😭), Izzy saying "rude," Roach flipping off Izzy's headstone

A scene of Jim and Oluwande and Archie stepping out of their room in boxers was cut

And from this thread:

S2E6 was not originally going to be be Calypso's birthday, instead it was Black Pete & Lucius wedding. Wee John & Roach were trying to get Ed and Stede to hook up because there was too much sexual tension on the ship. They gave Stede a makeover, Wee John dressed him, Roach pierced his ear and gave him an earing. Then Stede & Ed actually danced! Samba likes what the episode changed to, and that they didn't force the Ed/Stede relationship earlier.

David Fane got bit by an eel on the toe while filming their spa scene. They had to get back into the water to finish filming the scene. You will see in the episode that they are really kicking their feet in the water to scare the eel off.

[fellthemarvelous]

Do you ever really think about what happened in The Resurrectionists?

Aziraphale spent that entire time trying to save Elspeth's soul from being damned to Hell.

Every questionable choice he made was done so because he was trying to help Elspeth and also trying to find new ways to decrease human suffering.

He was working really fucking hard to do his job, but he made mistakes along the way because he is constantly struggling with the knowledge that the rules become a lot more convoluted as life becomes more complicated.

Digging up bodies is wrong, but Elspeth was poor and acting in desperation to take care of herself and Wee Morag so they wouldn't have to continue living on the streets.

He is the one who encouraged her to dig up another body because he realized that Mister Dalrymple was trying to help teach those learning to become doctors so they could do better to decrease human suffering when it was their turn to help others.

He wasn't able to save Wee Morag after she was shot by a grave gun, and watched in dismay as Elspeth sold her body to Mister Dalrymple so she could get off the streets.

And when that didn't work the way she'd hoped, she decided that her life meant nothing anymore and decided she was better off dead.

Aziraphale had been spending that entire minisode trying to save Elspeth's soul from Hell, but he ultimately realizes that he made things worse even though he was trying so hard to do the right thing.

Heaven didn't care that he failed. Heaven has already said "we're the good guys, we're just not doing anything to stop the bad guys". Aziraphale was doing the job given to him by God. He made a mistake, but he thought he was doing the right thing because he cares about human souls. He still wants to protect humanity from Hell. That's literally his job.

Crowley saw someone digging up a body in the graveyard and immediately realized he didn't need to do anything.

Instead he watches.

He listens to Elspeth and finds it easier to sympathize with her plight because he's in the same boat in many ways. It doesn't matter what he does because he won't be able to climb his way out of Hell.

He listens to Aziraphale and he challenges the angel when he disagrees with some of the things he's saying.

He doesn't interfere with Elspeth or Aziraphale though.

The discussion that he and Aziraphale have with Mister Dalrymple teaches Crowley something just as much as it teaches Aziraphale.

Before he learns the reason that Mister Dalrymple cuts open dead bodies in the first place, he's cheering to the idea of more murder.

That tumor that Aziraphale hugs to his chest is just as much of a learning moment for Crowley. He hadn't considered why someone might have a good reason to cut up dead bodies, but Crowley and Aziraphale both love children and they both just learned that a child died with a tumor inside of him.

Crowley didn't realize anymore than Aziraphale did just how much danger Wee Morag and Elspeth were in from digging up bodies of rich people.

It was when Crowley saw that Elspeth was about to kill herself that he realized he could no longer sit back and do nothing.

As a demon, it should have been easier for Crowley to accept that Hell was winning another soul, but the truth is that the entire time Aziraphale was working so hard to save Elspeth's soul, Crowley was able to act as a spectator because she was already headed down the path towards Hell.

Crowley had just watched Aziraphale work so hard to save this human soul, this soul who had just lost the woman she loved who was wanting to end her own life so she could see Wee Morag again, and he realized he couldn't sit back and watch anymore. He knew Elspeth wouldn't see Wee Morag again if she killed herself because Hell cares just as little about how complicated human life is as Heaven does.

He used Aziraphale's money to bribe Elspeth into being properly good so she could go to Heaven. He saved her knowing that he was offering the win to Heaven just so she could see Wee Morag again.

It's important to remember that neither Heaven nor Hell give a single solitary fuck about humanity or the complications that arise as life becomes more problematic. Humanity exists within all shades of grey.

Heaven does nothing to stop Hell. Hell spends eternity torturing humans and other demons. Neither side is good. Neither side is ideal.

And in the end, Crowley did what he did because Aziraphale was doing the right thing by trying to save Elspeth's soul from eternal torment, something she doesn't deserve because she was simply trying to survive in a system that has always put poor people at a disadvantage. Aziraphale learned this too. He learned that there is no inherent virtue behind poverty.

To shades of grey.

[orangeocelotmartyn]

Ren: Where's the tickler? (laughs) Thar it be. (in a pirate voice, or the same voice he used as the Red King) Thar, thar it be, let-let me go tickle some sand. You know...when I was a wee lad in the Black Isles...me and the Hand, we used to, we used to do a fair bit of ticklin', we did. Ticklin' of all kinds. Not just of the sand variety, oh no. Ye can speak to a fair fine-fair number of lasses in the Black Isles. They'll tell you all about the Hand and I's ticklin' days. Oh, they were glorious, they were.

——

Ren: uh—(in pirate/Red King voice) We’ll have to sleep, uh, the night away, on this lovely boat. It reminds me of me Hand and I’s times on—deep oceans of the Black Isles. Ah, we had our own ship, her name was Mary. Named after me-me first lass. Au, Mary. What a tickler she was. (Suppressed laughter)

——

Ren: Wait, where was the thing? (in pirate/Red King voice) I’ve lost me bearings. Back in the Black Isles, the Hand used to take his position in the Crow’s Nest, and I always knew where I was. Without me Hand I’m lost!

[manszen]

childhood crush

pairing. fem!reader x portgas d. ace.

summary. you and ace accidentally meet up after some time away.

contains. fluff, cursing, mild spoilers for ace’s backstory.

word count. 1k.

note. in my head, everybody in one piece is alive and well.

ace has known you for as long as he can remember.

you used to be a wee little thing. much, much smaller and weaker in body than he was. it isn’t helping that the memories of you he can recollect are the ones where you cry out loud, seeking for his help.

you were in the same league as luffy, as sabo once told him. a crybaby. you never once stopped chasing after them — no, him. solely because of the command old dadan told you about: to keep watch over him when she’s not around.

although, you being his watchdog never ended well for you.

he’s born strong and wild, and you simply weren’t. you carried more scratches and bruises than they did after running amok the mountain’s forest, and that was on a daily basis.

even luffy’s suffering was nothing compared to what you gained running after him.

that went on for some years. him doing whatever he wanted and you cleaning up the mess he left behind, heavily exasperated to your wit’s end. it was what actually made him fond of you.

yet the time has come for his promise to luffy and sabo to finally gear up.

“take care, ace!” luffy waved from the cliff, a huge grin across his face.

“yeah, see you, luffy!” he replied from his boat, the very symbol for his first adventure. the catalyst of many more to come. “i’ll be going now!”

“i’ll be a lot stronger when i leave here in three years!”

ace returned his grin, letting the powerful waves of the sea take him to wherever it desires. there was a round of ‘take care’s and ‘good luck’s, but there was one particular reminder that stood out to him.

“ace! don’t forget about us!” you bellowed. “don’t forget about me!”

he laughed, “i can’t even if i want to!” he hoped that the crashing sounds of the water wouldn’t tamper down the truth in his voice. then, before he couldn’t see the figures on the cliff anymore, he raised his arms and waved his goodbye.

that was some time ago.

now, he watches with comical bewilderment as you expertly skip some of the bar tables to run to where he’s sitting at.

“ace? is that you, ace?”

he gawks, then breathes out your name, confusing the first division commander sitting beside him.

“you know her?”

“ace!” you squeal upon reaching him, immediately wrapping your arms around his body and crushing his bones. “it’s me! did you forget about me?”

marco wolf whistles from the sideline, smirking at the event unfolding before him, “oh my.”

“what are you doing here?” he questions, pulling himself back to look at you. and wow, he didn’t think you’d look, well for the lack of better term, this attractive.

“what do you mean? i’ve become a pirate!”

ace’s disbelief is loud and apparent. “idiot!” he knocks you by the head. “are you still following me? following dadan’s orders?”

“you wish,” you pout. at that moment, you finally take notice of marco beside him, bowing down and introducing your name. “hello, i’m ace’s childhood friend. thank you for taking care of this idiot.”

“nice to meet you-yoi,” he chuckles, warming up to you already. after a second, he glances knowingly at ace. “so this is her,” he comments.

ace hears the intention. loud and clear.

“marco,” he chuckles without an ounce of amusement behind it, “i think pops needs some checking up.”

“i’ve already administered him his meds, ace. pops will live for the night.” marco happily returns his attention back to you. “so, are you single?”

you freeze at the question, the same time as ace’s booming protest broke through the bar.

“knock it off!” he stands up, authority seeping through his skin. you’re taken aback with his reaction, hell, even he is taken aback. he lowers his head, embarrassed by his outburst, and timidly hides beneath his hat.

“i’m single,” you shrug after a moment. this makes marco snort, digging into ace’s mortification much deeper. “not sure why it’s a big deal.”

“oh, i like you already,” marco teases. the first division commander is beaming even as he utters the words. it sounds so smooth, so at ease, that ace feels a little jealous he can do it without worrying about what you think if he’s the one to say it.

“but i’m not available,” you voice out suddenly, and the two heads snap to attention. you give them a sheepish smile, “i already like someone.”

before ace could stop himself, he had already asked, “who?”

“oh please,” you scoff, not before pursing your lips as you avoid their awaiting looks, “it’s the same person.”

he squints his eyes, trying to remember if you had once told him you have a budding crush on someone. his wondering leads him to stare mindlessly at the wall behind you as he racks his brain for a clue.

is it luffy?

no, he’s way too childish for you.

“you mean to say you’ve only had the same crush your entire life?” he hears marco ask you, but it’s a bit tuned out.

sabo?

surely, you won’t punish yourself for someone who isn’t here?

“no way,” marco bursts out laughing, “that’s just bullshit.”

is it someone from your crew?

speaking of, where even is your crew?

“he's not even listening,” marco continues, repeatedly knocking his fist against the table, hunching forwards with laughter. “and yet you choose him?”

ace collects his thoughts and returns back to the situation at hand. he scowls at how the two of you have become oh-so chummy with each other — you giggling with marco, and well, marco almost dying with happy tears in his eyes, all while he’s time traveling back to his childhood.

“am i missing something?” he glowers.

“a huge one! a really huge one,” his co-commander slings an arm around his neck, squeezing it affectionately, “oh, you poor guy.”

“you mean, poor me,” you snort before reducing back to giggling alongside the other commander. reaching out you gently tap ace’s cheek, “it’s nice to see you again, ace.”

stealing, modifying, translating, or reposting this work on other platforms is strictly discouraged.

[classicrubberduck]

need an alonso scandal primer BAD

Oh Lord, I am tired after work so I will just give a very quick summary:

The Really Big Ones are Spygate 2007, when McLaren were found to have possession of stolen technical information from Ferrari. Fernando had his own mini-scandal within this scandal, when he deliberately held up Lewis during qualifying for the 2007 Hungarian Grand Prix (for which the FIA penalised McLaren and basically told them to get their drivers in line). The next day Fernando attempted to threaten Ron Dennis by sending evidence confirming McLaren knew about the stolen Ferrari information. Which led to Ron Dennis running to the FIA President, Max Mosley, to tell him that he knew nothing about the emails, which led to the FIA re-investigating the whole saga, which led to McLaren getting a $100,000,000 fine, the biggest in sporting history.

Oh, 2007 F1 Season you will always be famous.

Also in the 2007 season, Marc Priestley wrote in his book that Fernando was going around giving his mechanics brown envelopes of cash, which is, how you say, a wee bit scandalous.

Then there was the 2008 Crashgate scandal, when Nelson Piquet Jr deliberatly crashed in order to ensure that Fernando won the race. Who knows if Fernando knew about it at the time, but it's yet another weird scandal he got caught up in.

Then in 2010, there was the Fernando Is Faster Than You incident (yes that video involves Christian Horner being an enormous hypocrite but that aside) in which Ferrari gave a team order for Felipe Massa to move aside for Fernando, even though team orders were illegal at the time. And it was in particularly bad taste given that this was at the Hungarian GP, the race where one year earlier, Felipe had suffered a serious head injury.

In 2012, at the American GP, Ferrari deliberately broke the seal on Felipe Massa's engine in order to give Fernando an advantage on the by moving him to the clean side of the track.

In 2013, Fernando was asked at the Hungarian Grand Prix (what is it with Fernando and Hungary) what he would like for his birthday, and he replied "someone else's car" (valid tbh) and the boss of Ferrari called him on his birthday to yell at him.

Jenson has said that when they were at McLaren, Fernando used to pretend there were problems with the car and retire if Jenson was ahead of him in a race.

And then, when it was announced that Fernando was going to Aston Martin, Otmar said he hadn't spoken to Fernando because he was on a boat with no signal. Literally later that day, Fernando posted a selfie of himself in Barcelona, making it extremely obvious that he was just ignoring Otmar's calls because he wanted to.

I'm absolutely certain there's other things I'm forgetting, but those are the ones that came immediately to mind. As you can tell, not all of it is directly Fernando's fault, but the man's just a magnet for scandal and drama. It says a lot that I said this was going to be a quick primer, and I spent the best part of an hour writing and researching eight paragraphs worth of stuff.

[loguetowns]

love drunk

eustass kid x reader

kid is (extra) annoying when he's drunk

“say you love me” + kid for @saidbysae

1.2k words

a/n: i can't take credit for the ending bc i think it was a cliche post that was floating around here or twitter when i saw it a billion years ago. anyways i think kid is really soft and i luv him for that

if there's one thing you've learned about the kid pirates, it's that they definitely know how to party. and of all the rowdy, noisy, rambunctious pirates, the captain is the worst of them.

"heat, get me another!" kid yells from across the room.

"another glass?"

"no," he downs his jug and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. "another barrel!"

across the room, he spots you and when you shake your head, his mischievous grin gets even bigger and brighter. you're crazy, you mouth. he just laughs and winks in your direction, raising his empty glass in your direction.

it's going to be a long night.

and sure enough, it's in the wee hours of the morning that you're dragging him across the deck towards his room. somehow, he's managed to lose both his jacket and his shirt, but in the autumn air, his body is still running hot. you're practically sweating with his body pressed against yours.

"baaaby, i know i don't look'it but 'm drunk," kid slurs.

usually so clever when he's (mostly) sober, it's silly of him to state the obvious — so much so that you can't help but smile. "i know."

you plant a quick kiss on the arm slung around your shoulders. "let's call it a night, hm?"

kid whines, "nuh uh, no way. tonight, we party like kings!"

he pumps a fist in the air, but with the sheer amount of alcohol running through his veins, his arm goes a little limp in the air before unceremoniously falling like a wet noodle.

you can't help the guffaw that slips out of you — a laugh at how silly he looks — and he can't help but laugh at how silly you sound. in drunken stupor, laughter is exceptionally contagious, and before you know it, the two of you are doubled over, howling in laughter.

you fall into each other, one lover supporting the other, until you make eye contact with each other and the giggles start again. the sound of love fills the chilly night, easing from laughter to (mostly) steady breaths. sitting on the deck now, kid looks at you with a lovedrunk grin.

he looks up at you, "hey."

you winkle your nose at him, "what?"

"c'mere," he points to the spot next to him. "i have a secret t' tell ya."

you roll your eyes but crouch down anyway. "what?"

kid looks at you with excitement that can only be described as child-like. he's a brute with a bounty higher than children can count and yet, here he is, practically giddy with what he's about to tell you.

he pauses for dramatic effect.

"i love you."

he stares at you like this is the most ground-breaking revelation you'll hear in your entire life and — god dammit, if he isn't the most adorable thing in the world right now.

you take his face into your hands, squishing his cheeks in the way he hates when he's sober. "i know."

he pouts. "you have to say it back."

you smirk. "no."

"but i love you!"

"i know."

"why won't you say it back?"

kid looks so wonderfully confused, and you take a moment to commit this expression to memory. if you were a little nicer, you might put him out of his misery.

but you're not and you won't.

"because you're being annoying," you smile.

"but you love me!" kid points a finger at you. "say you love me!"

"don't wanna," you chuckle.

"say it," he deadpans. "or i'll jump ship right now."

you gawk at him.

"you wouldn't."

"i wouldn't? are you sure?" suddenly, kid springs up and starts walking to the edge of the boat. honestly, it's impressive how fast he's moving.

when the crew drinks, kid has done worse things under the influence of alcohol — but the difference between then and now is that there are no burly crewmates to rescue their captain. compared to kid, you are a tiny little thing and you don't stand a chance.

you look around for killer or heat or thatch — or anyone, really. kid cackles and you whirl around. with a raised eyebrow, he swings a leg over and straddles the railing.

you panic — one wrong move and the kid pirates are down a captain. you rush towards him.

"okay, okay, fine! i love you too!" you tug his arm, "now will you please come back here?"

"okay," he beams in victory. adrenaline dissipating, kid climbs down all clumsy with a goofy grin plastered on his face.

"'kay," his voice comes out happy and ditzy. "s'cold out here, take me somewhere warm now.

hand in yours, you lead him towards his bedroom and, thankfully, kid follows without any more shenanigans.

kid trails behind you and yawns, "'m tired."

a gentle smile graces your lips, "wanna go to bed?"

you turn back and kid almost trips over his feet. you're so pretty in the moonlight, and kid is overcome with an urge to kiss you. he catches up to you and snuggles against you (or as much as a 6ft man can cuddle someone your size).

"only if you're coming with," he declares.

"if i say no, are you going to fight me?"

"yuuuuup."

you've eventually made it to his room and it only takes you two seconds to make a decision. one wrong answer and you risk undoing all the work it took to get him here.

you open his door, "fine, i'll sleep with you tonight."

"ya hear that, boys?" he booms, and you gape at him. "i get to sleep with my baby tonight, bitches!"

you're moritified. you hiss at him as you quickly usher him inside, closing the door as fast as you can, all the while kid grins to himself. a smile stays etched on his red lips — a smile so hopelessly, stupidly, irrevocably, spellbound by love — as you struggle to strip him his stained clothes ("come on, let's just stay naked!") and into fresh pajamas ("do i have to put these on? can't we just stay na-" "no.")

finally, the two of you are tucked into bed, in clean clothes that smell like linen and lavender, cuddled under cozy covers. all is quiet in the captain's bedroom and it's not long before the exhaustion catches up to you. kid's chest is warm against you, and you let yourself fall aslee-

"hey."

you groan, "what?"

"i love you."

having already learned your lesson, you sigh.

"i love you too."

you pause, waiting for the follow-up mischief that will plague your attempts to sleep. but the only things that come are steady breathing and silence. satisfied, you return to your journey into dreamland.

until kid whispers, "hey."

you look up at him, so tired that you can barely manage to say, "what now?"

"will you marry me?"

he asks it so gently, so innocently, that you can't help but fall in love with him a little more than you already have. in the comfort of your solitude, in these quiet moments where it's just the two of you, this is when kid's love is the loudest.

he wraps an arm around you, pulls you closer to his heart, and you press your lips against his burning skin, right where his heart beats so fervently for you.

"idiot, i already did."