#weight loss for women jupiter

[tinabrooks7]

Achieving Hormone Balance: A Path to Optimal Health in Palm Beach Gardens

Maintaining hormonal balance is essential for overall well-being, yet many individuals struggle with hormone-related issues. In Palm Beach Gardens, there exists a community of dedicated healthcare professionals who specialize in hormone balance. This blog post will explore the significance of hormonal equilibrium, its impact on health, and how seeking professional care in Palm Beach Gardens can lead to a vibrant and balanced life.

The Importance of Hormone Balance:

Regulation of Vital Functions:

Hormones play a crucial role in regulating various bodily functions, including metabolism, reproduction, and mood. Achieving balance ensures these processes function optimally.

2. Stabilized Mood and Emotions:

Hormonal imbalances can lead to mood swings, irritability, and feelings of anxiety or depression. Balancing hormones can significantly improve emotional well-being.

3. Improved Energy Levels:

Balanced hormones contribute to sustained energy levels throughout the day. This can lead to increased productivity and an overall sense of vitality.

4. Enhanced Metabolism and Weight Management:

Hormones influence metabolism and the body's ability to maintain a healthy weight. Achieving balance can support weight loss efforts and overall metabolic health.

5. Optimal Reproductive Health:

Hormonal balance is crucial for reproductive health in both men and women. It can improve fertility, menstrual regularity, and support healthy pregnancies.

Professional Hormone Balance Services in Palm Beach Gardens:

Specialized Healthcare Providers:

Palm Beach Gardens is home to a diverse community of highly skilled and experienced healthcare professionals specializing in hormone balance. They possess the expertise to assess and address individual hormone-related issues.

2. Comprehensive Assessment and Testing:

Professionals in Palm Beach Gardens conduct thorough evaluations, which may include blood tests and hormone panels, to identify specific hormonal imbalances.

Common Hormonal Imbalances and Treatments:

Estrogen Dominance:

This imbalance is common in women and can lead to symptoms like irregular periods, mood swings, and weight gain. Treatment options may include hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or lifestyle changes.

2. Testosterone Deficiency:

Low testosterone levels in men can result in decreased libido, reduced muscle mass, and fatigue. Treatment options may include testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) and lifestyle modifications.

3. Thyroid Dysfunction:

Imbalances in thyroid hormones can lead to symptoms like fatigue, weight gain, and mood swings. Treatment options may include thyroid hormone replacement medication and dietary changes.

4. Adrenal Fatigue:

This condition is characterized by fatigue, stress, and difficulty handling everyday tasks. Treatment may involve stress management techniques, lifestyle adjustments, and sometimes supplementation.

Why Choose Palm Beach Gardens for Hormone Balance:

Experienced Professionals:

Palm Beach Gardens boasts a community of highly skilled and experienced healthcare professionals specializing in hormone balance. They are dedicated to providing personalized care.

2. Cutting-Edge Technology:

Healthcare providers in Palm Beach Gardens are equipped with modern technology for accurate diagnoses and effective treatment planning, ensuring patients receive the highest quality care.

Achieving hormone balance is an essential step towards optimal health and well-being. By seeking professional care in Palm Beach Gardens, individuals can take proactive steps towards restoring and maintaining hormonal equilibrium. Whether addressing estrogen dominance, testosterone deficiency, thyroid dysfunction, or adrenal fatigue, specialized healthcare providers in Palm Beach Gardens are equipped to provide comprehensive care. Take the first step towards a balanced and vibrant life by scheduling a consultation for hormone balance in Palm Beach Gardens today. Experience the transformative impact of harmonized hormones on your overall health and vitality.

Reclaim balance and vitality with ThinWorks in Palm Beach Gardens. Schedule your consultation for personalized hormone balance today. Embrace a healthier, more vibrant you!

[bradshawsbaby]

Si Vis Amari Ama

I. Twin Flames

SERIES MASTERLIST

Pairings: Rooster (Roman Name: Gallus) x Female Reader (Roman Name: Sabina), featuring Hangman (Roman Name: Carnifex) x Phoenix

Summary: A girl whose freedom was stolen to pay her father’s debts. A gladiator enslaved for the entertainment of Rome. A love they never thought possible.

Author’s Note: I hope you guys are excited for Gallus and Sabina’s story! I know that I’m very excited to tell it. Please think of this chapter as a Prologue of sorts, where you’ll get a little glimpse into the histories of our hero and heroine.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Slavery in the ancient world, parental death, references to physical abuse, allusions to atrocities committed during a Roman raid, angst.

You could never escape your debts.

There wasn’t much that you remembered about your father, but you could recall those words falling from his lips, clear as a bell. He’d said them so often when you were a little girl that they were permanently ingrained in your brain, rather like the brand that now marred the skin of your left shoulder.

He was right. You couldn’t escape your debts. Even in death, they came to haunt those you left behind, the weight of them falling on shoulders not strong enough to bear the burden.

If only your father had heeded his own advice.

But you were only a child then. At six years old, what could you know of the expenses your father was piling up, the creditors he owed, the tax collectors he evaded?

Perhaps he knew all along. Perhaps he knew he would never escape those debts, never outrun them. And so perhaps Fortuna, the only god he had ever had any use for, had smiled upon him when she sent the fever that robbed him of his life breath.

But why did she have to take Mater, too?

At six years old, you knew nothing. Nothing but pain and loss.

If only you had known that that was just the beginning.

What could you have known of the debts your father owed? Death may have allowed him to escape them, but it didn’t afford you the same luxury.

Rome had been your home your entire life, but when you needed her the most, she turned her back on you, just as your father had done. Just, as it seemed, Fortuna had. The most powerful empire in the world had no pity in her heart for poor orphans, especially not orphans who had inherited a lifetime’s worth of debt, orphans whose fathers’ foolishness had robbed the empire’s coffers.

It was a strange thing, being swept up and sold off, like you were of no more worth than the tapestries and vases that went with you off to market.

Everything was to be sold, you’d overheard the men saying, those frightening men with their faces that looked like the marble you’d seen in the Temple of Jupiter and their eyes as cold as the frigid waters of the Tiber in the dead of winter. If they fetched a good enough price for your childhood home and everything that lay within it, it might just settle your father’s accounts, so they said.

You could never escape your debts.

Or, in this case, you could never escape the debts of others.

Maybe you should have known that moment would come, the moment when your freedom was swallowed up forever. Maybe the signs had been there all along, as the augurs in the temples were so wont to remind people.

Had your parents known all along that this would be your fate when they bestowed your name upon you at birth? Sabina, a name derived from the Sabine women, the very women who had been robbed of their freedom when they were unwillingly carried off by the brutal hands of Rome.

You had never been one for portents and signs, but perhaps this one had been staring you in the face all along.

From Sabina, the freeborn Roman to Sabina, the slave.

How quickly the hands of fate could turn.

Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, and months to years, until freedom itself seemed only to be a distant memory, like the sound of your mother’s voice and the joy of the games you’d played as a small child.

Your childhood and your freedom had been stolen, stolen to satisfy the debts of the man who was supposed to protect and defend you. And yet, you couldn’t find it in yourself to let the bitterness and resentment build. You’d seen the way it festered in others, the way it gnawed at their bones until nothing remained but a hollow shell. You couldn’t allow that to happen.

Because then what was left of you would be stolen, too, and you really would be nothing.

So long as that tiny flicker of peace remained, then a part of you remained as well, and nobody, not even Rome herself, could take that away from you.

Through every indignity, through every punishment and beating and degradation, you clung to that tiny piece of your heart that you stubbornly refused to let be stained by the world. Through every change of hands, when your body was treated like a commodity to be bought and sold, your very humanity ignored and denied, you retreated to that small place inside, that place where you were still you and always would be.

At night, when you dreamed, it wasn’t of the horrors of your circumstances or the brutality of your days. When you dreamed, it was always of the same pair of arms that held you close and kept you safe. They were strong arms. Scarred arms. Arms that had carried the weight of burdens too heavy to bear, just as you had. You didn’t know who they belonged to—you could never see his face—but you trusted him more than anyone you had ever known. And though you woke each morning alone and cold, you knew with a surety borne only of a deep-seated need that his warmth would find you again when you closed your eyes.

No matter where you went, no matter what household you were sold to, your strong-armed protector followed you in your dreams. And so you weren’t afraid when, after the death of the dominus you’d served for many years, you were sold off to the household of Atticus Cornelius Juventus. For though he was well known to be a lanista, a dealer in the most brutal of gladiators, you felt a strange sense of certainty that you would be safe there.

Your father had taught that you could never escape your debts.

You had learned that you could never escape the fetters of slavery.

But maybe, just maybe, there was still a part of you, no matter how small, that could be free.

Honor and pride were all a man had.

His father had been a great warrior. Honor and pride were the two things he had lived by, the things that had fueled him.

He didn’t really remember his father.

His mother had told him about him when he was small, but he didn’t really remember her either.

He could recall her in flashes—the feel of her arms as she rocked him to sleep, the sound of her voice as she hummed a tune he could no longer remember the words of, the look of pain that flickered in her eyes when she spoke of his father.

But every time he tried to cling to those memories, to solidify her face in his mind’s eye and tattoo it on his heart, they disappeared like the morning mist, taking all the fleeting echoes of home with them.

Home.

Britannia had been home once, but was it any longer?

It was the land his father had died for, the land he’d been cut down defending.

It was the land where his mother had given him life, nurturing him and raising him to be a man of honor and pride, as his father had been.

But he hadn’t been a man, not then.

He hadn’t been a man when the Romans came and raided his village. He hadn’t been a man when they burned the only home he’d ever known, not caring that his mother was still inside. He hadn’t been a man when they raped and pillaged, destroying everything he’d ever held dear in their mad thirst for power and control.

He hadn’t been a man when they rounded him up with the other few survivors and carted him off to the slave markets of Rome, the foul center of their even fouler empire.

He hadn’t been a man then, but he became one.

And as he grew under the watchful eyes of Rome, so did his bitterness. As his body grew stronger, so did his hatred for the people who had made him a slave to their savage empire.

The Romans liked to claim that his people were the savages, yet he had never seen a people as thirsty for blood as the citizens of this hellish kingdom. His father had only ever fought out of devotion to his family and his homeland. These people fought for the pure joy of bloodlust.

He hated them.

He hated them and he hated everything they represented.

But most of all, he hated himself for not being able to break free of them. He hated himself for having to submit to their fetters and chains.

One day, he told himself, he would break free. And so he worked hard every day, not for the benefit of Rome, but for the benefit of himself. He built up his muscles and his stamina, he built up his endurance and his strength. He built himself up so that no one would ever be able to hurt him and get away with it.

But perhaps that had been his mistake.

He built himself up so much that it began to attract talk���and attention.

It started out harmlessly enough. His dominus—how he hated that word—would set up street brawls with drunkards and other slaves and collect bets on the outcome of the fights. He might not have been proud to admit it, but it served as an outlet for the rage he’d been bottling up inside since he was a small boy. Each man he fought was the man who had run his father through with a Roman sword, or the soldier who had laughed as his mother screamed in agony while the flames engulfed her. With each swing of his massive fists, he avenged his parents and his people.

But as the fights became more popular, more people began to take notice. And he was too brash and impulsive, too young and stupid, to realize just how dangerous that was.

He would never forget the day that Atticus Cornelius Juventus came to watch him fight, the rich man’s dark, beady eyes never blinking as he watched him destroy his opponents, beating them to within an inch of their lives. At the end of the bout, when he was bloodied and panting and soaked with sweat, the man even smiled, one corner of his cunning mouth quirking up into a satisfied grin.

“I’ll take him, Linus,” he had said, throwing a hefty bag of clinking coins in the direction of his smirking dominus.

His former dominus.

From that day forward, he became the property of Atticus Cornelius Juventus and he knew that he would never taste freedom again.

He had built himself up so that they could never destroy him, and he ended up destroying himself.

From street brawls with drunkards, to armed combat in local arenas, to the public spectacles of the Colosseum, the years passed and his fame grew. “The Barbarian from Britannia” was what they loved to call him. He was their champion, their hero, their undefeated victor. They loved him, worshiped him, adored the ground he walked on.

He hated them.

He hated their cheers, he hated the way they fawned over him, he hated the way they had forced their sword into his hand, the same sword that had slaughtered his father and his people.

He no longer cared whether he lived or died. In fact, he rather wished that death would finally come to claim him one of these days. 

What did he have to live for?

It certainly wasn’t the hope of freedom. He no longer hoped for that. He no longer hoped for anything. His life was not his own, and it never had been.

There were moments when he was by himself late at night, brief and fleeting moments when he felt himself reaching out for something—or someone. It was a desperate ache, a longing deep inside his chest for something he didn’t quite understand.

It didn’t matter. He would root that longing out of his heart, just as he had rooted out every other feeling beyond bitterness and hatred.

Honor and pride were all a man had, and his had been trampled into the dust.

He would never return to his homeland.

He would never escape the blood and sand of the Colosseum.

He would never again be free.

[circe-poetica]

The 12th house

I have good news for everyone who thinks the 12th house is a bad place that only represent loss. It does but it can also represents gains through family. And sometimes we are freed & liberated after loss.

For example we lose a debt, now we are financially free. We lose an enemy, now we are safe. We loss a prison sentence, now we are free. We lose our fears, now we are filled with hope and love.

Think of a house that is filled with trash. It is disgusting, it smells bad, you feel trapped. But after Marie Condo – ing (deep cleaning and getting rid of all the unnecessary, ugly things), the whole house now suddenly becomes beautiful, fresh and it has space for new things. That is the 12th house. It can bring loss, but only so that you can grow, and be liberated.

The loss of a dictator can be wonderful.

The loss of weight can be a good thing. The loss of bad habits can be life changing.

The 12th house is the loss of debts , the loss of enemies, the loss of karma because it is situated opposite the 6th house of enemies, disease & debts.

The 12th house is like the trash can on your computer. When you clean the trashcan on your computer your computer is clean and free. When we are in the 12th house we get rid of all the rubbish from our lives, the things that holds us back.

Th 12th house is also anything that connects us with the spiritual world. We know that the 12th house rules spirituality, isolation, the feet, dreams, sleep, the left eye, confinement, hospitals, asylums, jails, foreign lands. But why is this?

It is because you are away from the physical world and not really concerned with the material things. Once we accept that we are spiritual beings & souls destined to live in heaven, the 12th house will feel more and more like home, less strange and more familiar. That is because the 12th house also represents our true home which is with God.

So from an earthly perspective the 12th house is an isolated place because it is where you are when you close your eyes, it is where you are when you pray, when you are with God and thinking of heaven and eternal life.

But from a heavenly perspective the 12th house is the closest thing to home, the bridge between the earthly world and the heavenly realms.

Houses 1 – 11 are where you have to deal with the real world and the psychical world. In the first 11 houses you have to deal with things that are grown on this planet.

The 12th house is where we really exist and come from. 12th house is the house of the divine. The heavens.

So we go through the first 11 houses to cleanse ourselves and to really understand how amazing the universe is.

It is very important to consider all the planets and aspects very carefully when they are placed in the 12th house.

For example if a women has Jupiter in her 12th house, it could represent her husband. This doesn’t necessary mean that the women will lose her husband or never find one. It might mean that she might gain huge money or wealth through her husband because he makes money in foreign lands, or online in foreign lands because the 12th house also represents family wealth, and old money.

It could mean that the women became a great teacher on 12th house topics. Depending on the aspects and planetary positions surrounding the Jupiter, this women could be the next poet of the century, perhaps with Jupiter in 12th house Neptune.

Or a Jupiter in 12th house Libra could make a women exceptionally beautiful, or it might mean that this women will go and stay at the most exquisite and beautiful sanctuaries or 5 star hotels in the world. A well aspected Jupiter in the 12th house could make this women a water baby, soulful, a dreamer and a gifted artist.

The 12th house also represents the feet, dreams, the left eye.

The 12th house also represents the feet, which is ironically the only part of your body that touches the ground. Without your feet connecting you to earth you would float away into the heavens. The 12th house is the house that connects heaven and earth.

It also represents the ending of your debts and the ending of your enemies. In a way you could say that the 12th house is the ending of earthy matters and the beginning of returning to heaven.

The 12th house also represent transformations in your children, the joint assets of your children, the happiness, comforts and car of your father. The 12th house releases and dissolves these things. The source of your families wealth is seen through the 12th house as well. It rules your maternal grandfather and your paternal grandmother. And maternal aunts though marriage.

--- by Maria Chaldecott

[sweet-lil-psycho]

Tupperware Party - Jimmy Darling Oneshot - AHS

Summary : The Tupperware parties in Jupiter, Florida are unlike any other town. The special guest isn't well liked, but he sure knows how to put a smile on their faces...for a price. But even he deserves warmth and kindness like everyone else. (Based on a request by @slightlyvicked )

Word Count : 1325

Authors Note : Planning to write a part 2 to this which will be nsfw. Part 2 will be linked when it is posted. Pm me if you want to be tagged in part 2. (Also I can't add a 'read more' because I'm posting this by phone since my computer is currently not set up. Will fix it asap.)

No one would suspect what goes on in the quiet suburban streets of small towns. Behind the white picket fences and closed doors. All small towns had their secrets, and Jupiter, Florida was no exception.

Being aware of this, you were still caught by surprise when you found yourself being dragged to a Tupperware party.

Samantha had practically begged you to come since she didn't want to show up alone and you had begrudgingly agreed. You assumed that it would be a boring event, considering your disinterest in Tupperware. Having no idea that at a Tupperware party, Tupperware was the furthest thing from anyones mind.

Upon arrival, you discovered that a Tupperware party was not at all what it seemed. The small, plastic containers were a front for a more indecent affair. Though, admittedly, you found yourself far more interested now than you had been when Tupperware was the focus of the event.

Down the hallway of the unsuspecting little suburban home was a young man waiting in the spare bedroom. According to the gossiping women, he was a traveller who had come into town from the campgrounds of the freakshow.

"Deformed by the devil himself." one woman said

The more you listened, the more your interest turned to disgust as you heard all the women speaking such terrible things about the person they were paying to pleasure them.

"If my husband ever found out that that freak had touched me, he would cut of his hands!" Another woman exclaimed dramatically

By the time it was your turn to disappear down the hallway, you were absolutely fed up with listening to such cruel things. The voice faded away and as you closed the door behind you, they were just barely audible.

"Another newbie, hey? Word really does spread fast in these small towns." A charming voice spoke aloud, though you had no doubt he was speaking to himself.

Casting your eyes upon him for the first time, you were entirely speechless. The curtains were drawn, but the warm light of the ceiling fixture illuminated the handsome figure who was leaning against the wall.

He had curly hair which looked golden in the amber light. His dark eyes were fixed upon you and they made your insides squirm. A ghost of a smile hung upon his lips, which was framed by cute, round cheeks.

His arms were crossed over his chest, hiding the mutated appendages that the women had gossiped about. His shirt was faded and well-worn, mostly unbuttoned to reveal the white undershirt underneath.

He was a picture of male beauty. Looking like the kind of boy you meet at church or a farmers market and he takes you on picnics and brings you wildflowers. The kind of boy who comes to dinner with your parents and shakes your fathers hand. The kind of boy who caresses your cheek and kisses you softly under the stars. The kind of boy who...

You bit your lip to stop whatever exclaimation would otherwise have slipped out at the thoughts you were beginning to have. Averting your eyes to the decorative hanging on the far wall.

"Nervous, are we, doll?" He asked, walking closer, "No need to be shy. Just lie down on the bed."

He unfolded his arms and your eyes flickered over his hands. The very hands which brought women so much pleasure, and yet seperated him from the rest of common society.

Beyond the room, one of the woman spoke especially loudly. Saying that the young man was nothing more than a freak and he was lucky that they had found a use for him.

In front of you, the young man grimaced. His hand tightening into something that resembled a fist and then loosening with composure.

"How can you bare to hear them say such terrible things?" You asked him suddenly, hardly believing that had somehow had the courage to ask

He seemed stunned that you had spoken to him at first, but he wasn't shy in answering

"I've been hearing it my whole life. People treat us like we aren't human just because we are different. Only difference here is that at least I'm getting paid." He answered honestly

"...That's terrible," You said softly, at a loss for words, "Of course you're human."

In a moment of boldness, you stepped forward and placed your hands over his. He immediately tensed, but relaxed when you offered him a small smile.

"I'm Y/N, by the way" you introduced

"Jimmy...Jimmy Darling." He offered his own name back

"Jimmy Darling..." The name rolled around your mouth sweetly, feeling good to say aloud, "It is nice to meet you."

He was quiet for a moment, his dark eyes glancing down at your hands over his own, and then back into your face

"You know..." he started quietly, "You're the first woman here to call me by my name."

His words invoked a deep sadness within you. Something almost like pity weighed your chest, but you would not mention it. After all, no one liked to be pitied.

"Well then, I guess I'll just have to call you by it often." You said,

His attention was drawn again to your hands, which were still over his. Your thumb absently caressing his skin.

"Jimmy..." you hummed the quietly, causing him to look up again at you with his dark eyes.

You brought a hand up and placed it delicately on his cheek. Worrying for a moment that he might draw back from you, but he didn't.

"Jimmy..." you whispered again, unable to finish whatever sentace was halfway assembled in your mind

He didn't seem to mind though. The gentle whisper of his name seemed to wash over him and touch something deep within him.

He leaned ever so gently into your touch, craving it like a cat craves affection after being forgotten outside for a winters night.

You lead him over to the bed and he startled for a moment. The dreamy look dissipating from his eyes. He coughed to clear his throat glancing away for a moment

"Lie back on the bed and I'll take care of the rest." he said in the same charming voice he had spoken in when you first arrived

It was impersonal and rehearsed. Probably something he said to all the women who came into this back room.

For a moment you were confused, but then realized your movement toward the bed had reminded him what he and you were in this room for in the first place.

"Would you lie with me?" You asked him, "Jimmy?"

Once again you caught him off guard and he stared at you for a moment in astoundment. The wheels of thought churning in his mind as he considered his answer carefully.

While you waited, you sat on the plush mattress. It dipped underneath your weight and you tapped the spot beside you, beckoning him to join you.

After a moment longer of hesitation, he joined you. Kicking his shoes off and letting the mattress dip underneath his newly added weight. The movement thrust you closer to him and you laughed softly, assuring him that it was okay.

Once you were both situated on the bed, you beckoned him into you. Just as the previous step, this took some convincing, but he eventually gave in. The result was a very nervous Jimmy curled into your side with his hand delicately resting on your stomach

"Are you sure this is okay?" He asked

"Absolutely. Now came here, sweetie" you hummed, cuddling closer into him

You couldn't convice yourself that this was just for him. It was too perfect. Jimmy's warm body pressed against your dress, the rough fabric of his denim jeans resting against your bare legs.

You wished that you were somewhere else. Anywhere but that small guest bedroom where a dozen women waited impatiently for their own time with Jimmy. You wanted him all to yourself.

[awashsquid]

The long-awaited (for @sittingoverheredreaming, at least) Part 4 of this commissioned series! Group post here, if you need to catch up. If you like it, drop Sam a thanks for commissioning me, or give a comment or reblog - we authors thrive on feedback! Hope y’all enjoy.

The next hour passed in such a daze of quick events that Michiru scarcely recalled them even as they occurred, one moment bleeding into the next like inexpertly applied watercolors, mingling until the entire canvas was muddied beyond recognition of what it once was, what it should have been.  There were doctors in and out of the room, she recalled, and she knew that she had signed several documents with a shaking hand, her signature remaining as delicate and ornamental as it had ever been, still a perfect piece of artistry even as the canvas of her world rended itself into scraps of confetti.  

Haruka never left her vision again, staring at her intensely with those green eyes that she knew couldn’t be real but somehow had never felt more alive, the lips that she knew could not be there, and yet she could feel when they brushed against her head, her hand, her cheek.  The pain as her wounds knitted back into place was nothing compared to the searing agony in her chest, each beat of her traitorously living heart a reminder that she had ruined everything to save Haruka, to save the woman that she loved, and she had not even succeeded in that effort.

Once she was settled at home the others left her room, Rei doing so only after instructing her gently to get some sleep.  Hotaru offered to stay and provide healing, but Michiru asked to have some time alone - except she wasn’t really alone, Haruka was sitting on the bottom of the bed - and Hotaru did not push further.  The heavy wooden door shut and Michiru turned to the phantom of her lover, not wanting to say the words aloud but knowing that she needed to in order for them to become true.

“You are not really here.  My Haruka is dead.”  The sentence came out in a whisper that turned into a strangled, choking sob, her weakness on full display as tears ran openly down her face, dotting the hospital gown she still wore with markers of her own incompetence.

Haruka - not Haruka, she corrected internally, some manifestation of my own subconscious - shrugged in that same casual way she had a thousand times, her shoulders lifting slightly before relaxing again.  “I’m as here as you want me to be, Michi.”  She flipped herself onto her knees and crawled closer, and Michiru could swear that she felt weight and heat from where Haruka’s body covered her own.  “I’m as real as you need me to be.”  She kissed her again, less gently this time, a hand winding through Michiru’s hair in a familiar caress. 

“This isn’t real,” Michiru whispered between kisses, shaking her head.

Haruka smirked devilishly, her free hand wandering downwards, Michiru gasping softly.  “I’ll make it feel real.”  Michiru bit her lip, knowing that the touches weren’t really happening but unable to deny their effect on her regardless.  “Does this feel real to you?”  She let out a soft whimper under the familiar caresses, Haruka’s practiced hands knowing exactly what she wanted.

Haruka drew back suddenly, ceasing her touches, and Michiru nearly groaned with frustration.  “Do you want me to go away, Michi?  Just tell me to leave, and I’m not real any more.”  The sparkle in her eyes and the growing, almost predatory smile on her face indicated that she already knew the response, and as Michiru leaned forward to press her lips against her lover’s, she tasted of apples.

--

At the Shrine across town, Mercury pored over her handheld computer and studied the flashing symbols on the screen with ferocity.  The knowledge of how to unlock the hidden data from the days of the Silver Millenium had been gifted to her when she remembered the ancient, long-dead language that had been used then, its characters foreign to all living eyes but hers now.  She smiled at the thought that she was the last person with such knowledge, her lips pressed together in a thin line.

“How are we progressing, Mercury?”

Mercury jumped internally as the cool voice washed over her like a wave, whipping around and falling to a knee as instinctively as she breathed, the motion just as effortless and necessary.  “My Queen,” she responded, the air in front of her lips fogging just slightly, her element showing itself more in the presence of its mistress.  Her eyes stared at the hem of the white gown in front of her, everything else in the room dim and dull by comparison of its pearlescent shine.

“‘Princess’; I am not Queen as of yet,” she corrected, and Mercury felt a trickle of sweat freeze to the skin on her back, icing over.  “Stand, Mercury, and give me a report.”  A pause - then, as an afterthought: “Please.”  The last word sounded out of place with the others, a switch from her natural cadence to an attempt to pronounce a concept from a newly-learned foreign language.  Mercury stood and raised her eyes to the face of her ruler, though never high enough to make eye contact, her gaze resting on the flawless porcelain cheekbones.

“Princess,” Mercury forced out with mild effort, which she endured because she could not fathom the thought of disobedience, “As you are aware, Jupiter expended her energies greatly during the battle.  She was left in a comatose state.  You chose to revive me -” revive seemed the wrong word somehow; she had never been dead, just slumbering beneath the surface of a weak-willed teenage girl, one whose favor of kindness over science disgusted her - “two days ago, and have been resting your energies since then.”  

Her gaze drifted past Serenity to the bed behind her where Jupiter lay, Sleeping Beauty tucked between Rei’s anime-themed sheets, still and unresponsive as a fairytale illustration.  “There has been no change in Jupiter’s status.  I remain unable to wake her, and it is only through your daily energy sharing that she continues to exist in this state.”  The knowledge of her failure hung greatly over her head, and she resisted the urge to drop to her knees and beg forgiveness, if only because her Princess would not stand groveling from her soldiers.

“Scan me.  I would know the probability of a successful revival at my current energy levels.”  Mercury nodded and took a step backwards, raising the computer and tapping a few buttons to bring up the proper display.  Data scrolled across her visor and screen simultaneously as she allowed the computer to work, a few moments of silence passing as the calculations were completed.

“The probability of success at this time would be approximately 86.83%, Princess.  There is a 8.49% chance that she would improve slightly but not wake; a 3.14% chance that no change would occur, and a 1.54% chance that you would extend your own energies too greatly and damage yourself.  Given these values, I believe that you could safely awaken her at this time.”

The Princess-Queen glanced over at Jupiter in the bed, still and fragile and somehow looking so small, despite being taller than either of the other women.  Serenity nodded sharply.  “Very well, Mercury.  Your diligence is noted and appreciated.”  She frowned even as Mercury bent at the waist slightly, a thanks for the compliment that her body performed naturally.  “Will I need to recharge so long before waking Uranus?  And what of Pluto?”

Mercury shook her head lightly, ice-blue hair sweeping out of her eyes.  “No, my Q- Princess,” she corrected hastily, “your powers were much more significantly depleted from your own transformation, eliminating the opposing army, and purifying myself.  Awakening Jupiter will use a large amount of your energy, but it should recharge significantly faster.  I estimate that you will be able to revive Uranus within 24 hours.”

Serenity’s rose-petal lips curled into a tiny smile, so minute and controlled that a less observant party could have assumed it was a trick of the lighting; but Mercury was nothing if not an efficient tool for data intake, and so she catalogued the discrepancy as she continued to speak.  “Pluto’s body has yet to be discovered.  As the area has been thoroughly canvassed, my current theory is that she dematerialized and was instantly reincarnated at the Time Gate, as is typical of her position.  We do not currently possess a means of reaching the Time Gate to confirm this hypothesis.  My recommendation is to classify Pluto as a lost asset.”

The rose of Serenity’s lips wilted, and the thorns of her perfectly white teeth poked out from underneath the small curl of disgust.  “That is...disappointing, indeed.”  Pluto had been one of the stronger defensive Senshi, and Mercury knew that from a tactical standpoint the loss of her power was not insignificant.  “Still,” Serenity continued, taking small, gliding steps towards the bed where Jupiter lay.  “We will have the rest back soon.  Beginning with her.”

She stopped at the bedside, pale hand reaching out somewhat tenderly to brush back the bangs from Jupiter’s forehead.  Serenity’s eyes, as blue and as cold as the most rare of sapphires, closed as she touched a single finger to the center of the prone woman’s forehead.  The golden moon on her face began to glow, its aura traveling downwards over her unearthly pale skin from her neck, to her arm, to that extended finger, and finally onto Jupiter before disappearing into her forehead.  Serenity’s brow creased slightly as the light increased in strength, crescendoing until there was a single bright flash of white light that forced Mercury’s eyes to squint shut, unable to withstand the intensity.

When she reopened her eyes, Serenity looked slightly less radiant than she had a few moments prior - her sapphire eyes were fogged over as though in need of a polish, and the subtle sparkle that her skin always seemed to hold now was emphasized by the light layer of sweat that crossed her chest.  The woman in the bed looked much the same, except that her hair had lightened a few shades, a more medium-brown at the roots fading into a tan shade towards the bottom.  Her eyes opened to reveal the other change in Jupiter’s appearance, the bright yellow irises seeming to crackle with electricity.  

She sat up quickly, a near-predatory smile on her face as she cracked her neck, then her knuckles, the second causing small sparks to fly from her hands as she did so.  Jupiter rose from the bed, steady as though she hadn’t just been in a coma moments ago, and knelt at Serenity’s feet.  Mercury knew chastising her for such strain would get nowhere - Jupiter had never been one to listen to reason - and so chose to put her energy into performing a basic vitals scan, just to ensure that all had gone as it should have.

“My Queen,” came Jupiter’s voice, rumbling and sure.

This time, Serenity did not correct the title.  “Rise, Jupiter.  There is much work to be done if we are to enact Crystal Tokyo.”

Jupiter did as she was commanded, a broad smirk spreading across her face as tiny crackles of electricity danced across her knuckles.  “I can’t wait to begin.”

[ariadnelives]

Chapter 7 -- The Nightmare

[Missed earlier chapters? Go catch up here! Otherwise, welcome back! Oh, and make sure to join our discord server! Chapter can also be found @ ao3]

“I hate this lady so much,” Pilar practically snarled as she adjusted the ship's course. “Was she ever young, do you think?”

“Nah,” Ariadne said from the passenger seat, trying in vain to get a spoon to stick to her nose, “I feel like she's probably been an unpleasant old crone forever.”

“She was probably already on Calisto when they got there and they just built the bio-dome around her stupid rocking chair.”

The Jovian moon Calisto was now within visual range, and the rest of the viewport was filled with yellow and orange swirls. No matter how many operations they ran through the colonial moons, they never quite got used to the scale of a gas giant. Jupiter and Saturn took their breath away every time they looked at them. Something primal and hard-coded into their DNA told them that this was not something they were meant to see, and yet, here they were, a stone's throw from Jupiter.

The ship pulled closer to Calisto and Ariadne abandoned her spoon effort to pull out fake IDs to get into the bio-dome.

They got into the dome without incident, found a small garage to park in, and gave an almost comically large tip to the downtrodden-looking lot attendant.

La Pesadilla's high-rise apartment was at the top of a building whose elevator was constantly broken. While a woman of her means would be able to have it fixed, she liked that it was broken because it meant anyone who wanted to visit her would have to take the stairs.

Ariadne quickly repaired the electromagnets, actually making the elevator much faster than it was before it had broken, and wrote “HA” on the “Out of Order” sign. They were at her door in seconds.

La Pesadilla answered and, like Jupiter, her appearance never ceased to shock Ariadne and Pilar. At a glance, one might guess she was 90 years old. Her skin was eerily reminiscent to a well-worn catcher's mitt both in texture and coloration. Her expression was about as friendly as a large-mouth grouper, and under her tattered bathrobe was an inexplicable t-shirt depicting what appeared to be a zebra wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigar. Whether she wore pants under the bathrobe was up for speculation.

She walked with a cane, even though she did not need one, simply because she liked to jab it at people when speaking.

“You didn't fix my elevator, did you?” she more snarled than said.

“Nope,” Ariadne lied.

“Good, I like it broken,” La Pesadilla grumbled, “makes it harder for people to drop by and ask me favors.”

There was a moment of silence in the hall as Pilar and Ariadne struggled to find the words to respond to this statement.

“Well, come in if you're coming in,” she said, gesturing into the apartment with her cane, “I pay to air condition the inside of the apartment, not the hallway. Every second this door is open is a waste of my money.”

Ariadne and Spacebreather, still at a loss for response, stepped into La Pesadilla's apartment.

The place was decorated like a family-style restaurant, which is to say, the walls were covered with hundreds of curios, oddities, and other units of nonsense which begged the question, “what exactly is the difference between vintage collectibles and old garbage?”

Two other women sat on an overstuffed couch in the corner, their focus divided between small information terminals affixed to the armrests and a holographic table at the center of the room playing an old rerun of Val Deimos, P.I. at an almost obscenely loud volume.

“Balotelli's cheating on his wife again,” said the one on the left, a relaxed-looking black woman of approximately 70 with wraparound sunglasses (worn indoors for reasons that were known only to her) and a blue-and-purple sweater knitted to look like a particularly starry galaxy that Ariadne thought might be subtly swirling and twinkling. “How much do you think he'll pay us to keep it under wraps this time?”

“No dice,” replied the one on the right, a strong-jawed white woman of perhaps 65, wearing a tank top, cargo pants, and combat boots with an iron-gray buzz cut. With one hand, she rapidly tapped on her terminal. With the other, she repeatedly lifted a rather heavy hand weight. She did not seem to break eye contact at any point with the flickering rerun streaming on the surface of the coffee table. “His wife knows. Hired a private dick to tail them last week. Tried to have 'em whacked but lost her nerve at the last second.”

“Do we have the records?” Galaxy-sweater asked.

“I have the contract here,” Tank-top replied.

“We double down. He's up for reelection in May, and I'm sure neither of them wants the scandal breaking in April. Probably pay a pretty penny to keep it under wraps.”

“Sex, betrayal, and intrigue?” Tank-top asked. “This sounds like a pretty valuable story. It'd be a shame if some reporter outbid them for it.”

“Oh my god,” Ariadne cut in, “do you always talk in clichéd banter or is this for our benefit?”

Tank-top stopped her arm curls for half a second and then continued. Galaxy-sweater raised an eyebrow at her.

“Who's this lunchbox?” Galaxy-sweater asked in a derisive way that seemed to be second nature to mean old ladies and made even the most baffling of insults seem to make sense.

“This is that brat I was telling you about,” La Pesadilla growled.

Tank-top did not look away from her television program. “The one who always fixes the elevator?”

“I think so,” La Pesadilla grumbled. She wandered into the kitchen but continued speaking, incrementally increasing the volume of her voice so she could still be heard. “Her name starts with an A, and her wife here is named after … I don't know, some kind of rice dish.”

Pilar pondered this for a moment and resolved to ask Cookie about it later on.

“Shoot, hope that elevator is fixed.” Galaxy-sweater smiled, “I got bad knees and shit to do.”

La Pesadilla returned with two brightly colored plastic cups, filled with a cloudy yellow substance. She practically shoved these into the hands of her guests with a grunt.

“What do… what is…” Ariadne was uncharacteristically at a loss for words. She was barely reaching adulthood herself and she still had very little experience in the department of respecting her elders. She suspected that perhaps sixty percent of the people in the room were not acting as they should, but she was unsure of where she fell in that ratio.

“It's lemonade.” La Pesadilla removed a smallish disc-shaped tin from her bathrobe pocket, pulled out a handful of leaves, jammed them into her cheek, and began chewing them. “You're kids, you drink lemonade. You're in my house, I offer you a drink. The elevator's out of order, you take the fucking stairs instead of trying to fix it. There's rules to this sort of thing.”

“I said I didn't fix your elevator,” Ariadne stammered.

“You always say that.” La Pesadilla rolled her eyes. “What do you want? You're talking through our program.” She gestured at the hologram. The show was popular enough that Pilar had seen this particular episode several times with her parents, and since she had not had parents in approximately a decade, it was a safe bet it was not their first viewing.

“You could always pause it while we conduct our business,” Pilar offered in a tone she hoped would come across as helpful. She took a polite sip of her lemonade, which had no ice and seemed to be little more than powdered mix stirred into room-temperature tap water.

“You could've shown up on the hour, like a normal person, so you don't interrupt the last five minutes of my show.” La Pesadilla slumped into an old, heavily-patched recliner, searched for a small metal jar, and spat the leaves out into it. “So, spit it out.”

Galaxy-sweater let out a small “heh” at her phrasing.

“Why do you come here and bother me again?”

Ariadne finally seemed to find her voice. “We're looking for information.”

“Well, you've come to the right place,” Tank-top grunted, somehow still lifting her weight, “we've got all of it.”

“The Red God cult that's formed on Mars in the last year or so. We need to know everything we can about them.”

“What do we get?” La Pesadilla asked. “I mean, you're asking me to do the opposite of my job here. People pay me to keep their secrets. If I tell you about these guys, I ain't got no leverage on 'em, can't charge 'em for my services, feel? If I'm gonna spill the beans, I gotta know it's worth more than keeping my mouth shut.”

“Cut the crap,” Pilar said simply, “money is no object to us, and I think you'll be pleased with the amount we've deposited in your account as an act of good faith.”

La Pesadilla tapped at her display and raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Well, I'll be damned.”

“You'll get the other half when we have our information,” Pilar said.

La Pesadilla looked at Galaxy-sweater and nodded.

“Think we got something on them.” Galaxy-sweater said, tapping away on her own display. “Yeah, their leader's this fancy scientist turned whacked-out bible nut, calls himself the Zealot.”

“Real original nickname,” Tank-top added.

“Got into some real shady shit.” Galaxy-sweater furrowed her brow at the display. “We got our hands on a few black market ledgers about 20 years back, and the shit he was buying? Banned on just about every rock in the system.”

“Why would someone selling illegal goods on the black market keep a ledger of their customers?” Ariadne wondered out loud. Galaxy-sweater looked at her flatly and gestured vaguely at the blackmail operation they were currently sitting in the middle of. Ariadne took a sip of her lemonade. “I see.”

“You said 20 years ago?” Pilar looked confused. “These guys have only been operating for the past year, year and a half.”

“Nah,” La Pesadilla grunted, “they been around longer'n you kids have been alive. The Red God stuff is new. They used to walk around the moons, door to door, saying that the Earth was a New Sodom that was to be destroyed due to its sin and heresy and that the only way to be sure Jesus would spare the rest of the system was to join their church.”

“Or make a donation,” Tank-top said.

“Course, the day they predicted came and went.” Galaxy-sweater chuckled. “The Earth was still there. Then that happened, oh, five or six more times before everyone stopped giving them the time of day.”

“Buncha idjits,” La Pesadilla mumbled, “Jesus don't need our money, and he's got a whole universe to run. He doesn't go around blowing up planets because some people didn't pray right. All he cares about is if you're a good person. He don't even care if you believe in him if you ask me, just live your life best you can and he won't bother you.”

“Like bees?” Galaxy-sweater asked, smirking.

“Exactly, like bees. You don't bother him, he don't bother you.”

Ariadne thought this moralizing was rich coming from a professional blackmailer, and she couldn't help but think she'd been given the same advice about what to do when you encounter a swarm of bees, but she bit her tongue to avoid starting another tangent.

La Pesadilla took a sip from a nearby mug that seemed to be full of red wine. “Anyway, nobody bought his end-is-nigh crock and, last I heard, he was a pretty sick fucker. He bought a bunch of illegal shit and went underground. Nobody heard from them for a while, and they came back with a new god and a shiny new preacher. Little white girl, 'bout your age.”

Ariadne scowled. “Not even close.”

La Pesadilla matched her scowl. “Kid, if we're talking years, I'm easily five of you. You both got all your original teeth? You're the same age, far as I'm concerned.”

“What exactly did he buy?” Pilar attempted to break the tension. She, at times, was confused by Ariadne's talent for locking horns with grumpy older women, but suspected this was a deeper issue than they had time to unpack at the moment.

Galaxy-sweater looked at her screen. “We got three Cortex brand neural implants. Those things were all the rage back in the 90s, companies used to get them for all the employees so memos would go right to their brain.”

Tank-top laughed slightly. “Yeah, but they got banned pretty quick.”

La Pesadilla took another sip of mug-wine. “Security risk… a lot of bosses got caught snooping in their employee's thoughts. There was one big scandal where a manager tried to increase productivity by planting thoughts in his employees heads while they slept. An entire office working 16-hour shifts and sleeping at their desks because their brain was telling them 'if I stop working I'll die, if I ask for overtime I'll die, if I make a mistake I'll die.'”

“Yikes,” Ariadne concluded. “Go on, what else?”

“Blueprints for immersion pod,” Galaxy-sweater  explained, “That's a VR capsule that uses the brain's visualization center as a processor to create realistic simulations of pre-programmed scenarios. Originally designed for video gaming, scrapped because every focus tester who attempted to play a children's shoot-em-up game had to be treated for very real PTSD, and made illegal after the prototypes were found being used as training simulators for a radical Earth-based supremacist paramilitary corps.”

“I'm sensing a theme here,” Pilar chimed in.

“Here's where it gets really interesting,” Galaxy-sweater said, pointing at the screen, “he bought up a bunch of medical equipment. Machines for growing and implanting new organs.”

“Shouldn't need that,” Tank-top piped up, still watching her show but seeming to slow down on the weights. “I know he was sick, but if he needed a transplant he could get one at any hospital and be home for supper.”

“Could've been for implanting the Cortex device,” Ariadne suggested.

“Could be,” La Pesadilla said. “We ain't here to speculate, we just give you the information.”

“Aaaaand,” Galaxy-sweater reached the end of her list, “one Quantum Shift Generator. Weird little devices, designed for the Shop-n-Go corporation. They had this idea for expanding to the colonial moons that they could just build a single store interior which all of their storefronts would lead into, that way they could have a dozen stores in a bio-dome but only pay one set of overworked employees.”

“Wonder why that got banned.” Ariadne smirked.

“If you're thinkin' it's some worker's rights whatever, you're wrong,” La Pesadilla grumbled, pouring herself another mug of wine from a bottle that had been conveniently located next to the mug on the table. “It's because all the exterior doors led to the same interior, but they ain't give you the same courtesy on the way out.”

“What she's trying to say,” Tank-top said, placing her weight on the ground and reaching for a nearby bottle of water, “is that people would attempt to leave the store only to find themselves coming out of the wrong one. You could end up 15 miles across town in the 40 seconds it took you to buy an iced tea and a candy bar.”

“Would've made a great public transit system if there was some way to predict which storefront you'd come out of,” Galaxy-sweater offered.

“That's all we've got,” La Pesadilla said. “Where's the rest of my money?”

“Now, hang on,” Galaxy-sweater said, easing herself off the couch, “these girls paid good money and we have got one more thing. Been meaning to get rid of it anyway.”

She ambled over to a bookshelf, grabbed a small, shabby-looking paperback, ripped the back cover clean off, and handed it to Ariadne. “They dropped this in our mailslot back when they were still pretending to be Christian. Got a picture of the Zealot on the back. Might help.”

La Pesadilla jabbed her cane towards the closed door. “Now, get out of my house and put that money in my account.”

Ariadne and Pilar put down their half-finished lemonades, more than glad to not have to finish drinking them, and walked towards the door. As they exited, they heard La Pesadilla mumble, “and so help me if that elevator is working.” The door closed behind them and they immediately heard it lock.

In the elevator ride down to the first floor, Ariadne looked at the laminated cover she'd been handed. The photograph was of a white man, perhaps in his 40s, with squinting, intense eyes, a full but neatly trimmed gray beard, a straight, pointed nose, and a wide-brimmed black hat.

She felt uneasy and turned the book over. Something about him, something she couldn't quite place but knew very few others would see, hit upsettingly close to home. She didn't look at it again for the rest of the trip back.

[astr0freak-blog]

Astro Notes 2

- A direct North Node can create a flipped effect, where the North Node is more developed than the South Node.

- Taurus and other earthy placements are very natural, especially with children. Walking about the house naked is natural to them, they care less than others about raising their children nude, as it isn’t “wrong” to them.

- Cancer and Aries ascendant is probably the easiest to notice. Cancers have thick compact lips and wide hips (even the men) and are very quiet when you first meet them, while Aries has very strong jawline and they are very loud and fun.

- Mercury, Sun or Venus in 6th can indicate positive health. Moon, Mars or Jupiter can indicate negative health.

- Personal planets in the 11th can make someone very supportive of social justice, women’s and men’s equal rights, LGBT+, etc.

- Scorpio ascendant and/or Mercury is generally very placid, slow, gentle talkers, and are very good at thinking before talking.

- Gemini ascendant is a jack-of-all-trades because they see the passion others have in what they love and they want to try it. These people are always searching for their own passion, but end up trying everybody else’s, they’re lucky if they find their own.

- Air Sun, ascendant, and Mercury are usually the type to think as they speak, and unfortunately even when they’ve practised a speech, they’ll think of something different and accidentally start a different topic.

- Scorpio and Pisces moon are very gentle souls.

- If Aries wasn’t a fire sign they’d be Water, due to their sensitivity and love for their family. They are very gentle and loving when it comes to those they care about.

- Libra in personal planets and placements in the 7th are usually very good at styling themselves and others, and can often be consulted for fashion or styling advice.

- Libra in personal planets and placements in the 7th can make someone self conscious and avoid dressing themselves well if they aren’t at their “goal weight” or if they are overall shy or anxious in social situations.

- Scorpio moon is easily the most misunderstood moon placement.

- Sun in 8th is a magnetic creature, but may have some traumatic loss as a child.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

[theblissfulstars]

Juno as Possible Co-Ruler For Capricorn

Juno as possible co-ruler for Capricorn

Hello everybody, I hope time is finding you in good spirits wherever you may be. Time, and karma are going to be very major themes and motifs in this analysis.

Juno commonly referred to as Saturnia in ancient Rome, and affectionately referred to as Aegophagus which translated is goat eater in the temple of Akraia. She is a Queen of Heaven ((The MC)) in Greco-Roman mythos, and is Queen of the gods/Olympos, having dominion over worldly success, power, royalty, legacies, authority, government, marriage and childbirth.  Juno was discovered when the sun was eight degrees in Virgo, eight is the number of Saturn. She was third born from the union of Kronos and Rhea, three is the number of Jupiter. We commonly know Juno from her marriage to Jupiter, king of the gods, and their wild, bombastic love life, rife, with perfidy, and betrayal.  How they came to be, is a very simple story though, Jupiter was rather taken with Juno (incest is valid when you don’t have DNA lol) and tried to woo her, yet she deferred his advances. Jupiter came up with the plan to disguise himself as a wounded cuckoo bird on her path, naturally, she took pity on the poor thing, and took it to her breast, and in a flash, it shifted back into Jupiter and he ravaged her, he then blackmailed her and told her he would tell the other gods of heir encounter if she did not marry him, and so she conceded, and the cuckoo became one of her sacred animals. Jupiter is the manliest of men, and was not sated with one woman, and naturally did as all kings have the right to do. Juno was deeply hurt by this, and she grew jealous, bitter and vengeful, often cursing the mortal women who would make the mistake of sleeping with her man, an example being the Nymph Echo((the youthful yin)). Echo was an Oread, a mountain nymph who could only repeat what she had heard, her beauty enticed Jove to come lie by her side. When Juno grew suspicious, Echo projected her voice to lure juno away with deception. Juno saw this and grew angry, cursing her so that she may only use her voice for a moment and the nymph was sorrowful. However, she is also very capable of blessings as well, as seen with Jason and the Argonauts. Juno was not only offended by her husband’s lovers, but the offspring he bore as well. Popularly, Hera was no fan of Hercules, and was even hurt by the birth of Artemis and Apollo((sun and moon)), however no birth hurt her quite as much as the birth of Athena. Athena was birthed out of Jupiter’s head, and he produced her alone ((it was metis, the goddess of wise counsel in some accounts)) so she decided she could make children of her own, alone, without Jupiter. From her sprang Mars((pure fire, yang)), and Vulcan((Earth fire, yang)) , mars was strong, belligerent and wild, yet Vulcan was not, he was deformed. Juno was infuriated by this, by her own inability to be more, and reach the top, and promptly chucked him down the mountain side((accomplishment, achievement, goals, hurdles)) , where he landed in he sea ((emotion, nurturing, wisdom, unconditional love)) he would later be known as the god of ingenuity, metal, volcanoes, and invention.

Analyzing the core themes in the symbols and ideas, we come to her sacred animals, the cuckoo, and peacock. The cuckoo is many eastern European countries is a symbol of loss, or misery because of its odd cry “You can only understand the song of a cuckoo if you suffer from pain.” This is one of many sayings about this birds tie to pain. The cuckoo is more commonly known through its association with the clock, connecting it to time. The peacock is a symbol of totality, because it connects all colors into one in completion, and the eyes are sometimes considered stars in the dome of heaven, and is associated with eternity and the crystallization of the human spirit and potential through maturity. Peacock is also associated with royalty, integrity, and respect, and many of the stars from the constellation Pavo ((peacock in latin)) can be found littered throughout Capricorn. In the stories, we have the theme of control, and power occur often, she is a lady boss, and in control of herself((externally)), she does not fear her husband, he sometimes even hides from her wrath. She is Karmic in nature, every time Jupiter over reaches, she teaches him a lesson, yet she always returns, loyal, steadfast and dutiful, she is committed to her oath, and duty to being a wife. However even before her wifehood, there is evidence that Junos worship, predated Jupiter in a Matriarchal society that historians, and romans alike tried to destroy all evidence of.  Her attendant, Iris, the rainbow goddess is her messenger where as Mercury is Jupiters. Juno has tons of Capricornian themes.

In the discovery chart, I divined the time as producing a second decant virgo ascendant, I think this plays wonderfully with how Juno sees the world, and navigates it, she’s a hardworker, shes determined, and most importantly, she is poised. Composed, and regal, she looks at things analytically, and with an eye for business, as the second decant is the saturn decant, and saturn is in Libra Exalted in the first house conjunct mercury, the ruler of the first in the first in Libra. Showing how Juno sees the world through a very lawful, and tempered way.The second ruler of the first house, Ceres, is in Aries in the eighth retrograde, showing the dark, jealous, fearsome energy associated with her, she is a powerhouse who should be feared and respected. This all ties in with the beautiful theme of Virgo, who is often tied to the virgin Mary in christian mystic traditions, and is also known as a queen of heaven. In mythology, sometimes Juno was referred to as a virgin because she would renew in the springtime. The ascendant is conjunct the sun from the twelfth house, showing how juno feels crushed under the weight of men, her identity, who she is, is drowned out by what others have shaped her into, despite her protests, this shows that she has a tragic, almost melancholy view of the world, and is quite desperate for control over her environment, and tumultuous emotions. The ascendant is also conjunct the asteroid herakleitos, another name for herakles, showing how those who seek to destroy her manifest strong yang energy because its conjunct the sun. Her ascendant is opposite pluto  in the sixth bringing on that intense, raw, unbridled laser like focus and determination, with the dark obsessive and vengeful energy we all expect, The ascendant is also opposite pallas athene, showing a nature gift at being able to read, others, and use diplomacy to your advantage, and a need for justice, but an inability to reach it.  In the first we have mercury and saturn conjunct by zero degrees, three degrees in libra in the first decant. This shows that Juno loves structure, patterns, tact,  sophistication and is very, very in control of how she presents herself to the world, she rarely lets go of the reigns of control, and she doesn't believe in wasting words with mercury conjunct saturn, it's all very calculated, cool, and precise, mercury and saturn are opposite Ceres in aries in the eighth house, showing that she just wants to let it out, she needs someone to give her permission to let loose, but she would never let herself lose herself to her inner warrior or temper like that, Saturn and Mercury are also opposite Juno rx in her fall in aries in the seventh house, showing that her relationship to authority is restrictive, and anxiety producing, and she may be known or her karma. Libra is in the second, the rulers of the second are in the sixth conjunct pluto, and eleventh conjunct moon, Juno finds beauty in nature, organization, and in health, she enjoys good food, and is very politically aware, juno finds beauty in political and social power, she bases her values on nature, and tradition, and money, and knows how to network, and run a corporation as the eleventh house does. Uranus is in the second in libra, emphasizing the eleventh house themes, she has fluctuations in her security, and rarely feels safe, she's very traditionalist, and doesn't adapt to the times well with uranus in the second, jupiter is in scorpio in the second which shows how she has lots of power, and can be a little miserly and clingy to her resources out of fear that they won't be there when she returns, she is excellent at saving and amassing money, and putting it towards her legacy and her name, this is her lover, Jupiter, he is an asset to her and a resource, however being in scorpio, he is involved in secretive and shady things but is very powerful and virile. Jupiter is square her moon by zero degrees, showing a very intense, and emotionally raw inner world, with high aspirations, seeking comfort in the arms of a lover who wants to be free, The third house is scorpio, the rulers of the third are in the sixth and the tenth, juno loves to think and talk about her career, and her aspirations, and her reputation, these things are often on her mind, and mean a lot to her, the neighborhood is on mount olympos. Juno has a lot of dark, angry and sorrowful thoughts that are polarizing, and often times thinks of the power she needs to achieve it, her voice is sexual, and dark and mysterious, she may be seen as a villain. Neptune is in the third, so what she sais can be taken the wrong way or misinterpreted, and she may even experience confusion around what she believes and does not believe, with neptune in scorpio power is divine to her, as is sex and the occult, she often times transmuted those who would touch her man into different objects or creatures. The IC is in sagittarius, the ruler being jupiter, the ruler of the fourth is in the second in scorpio, this shows that the home is opulent, there is wealth, there is a lineage of power, and there is beauty and wisdom in their traditions, her home is olympus, home of the gods, fitting seeing as Jupiter the planet has ties to the concept of divinity, her core foundation is laid in faith, however with chiron retrograde in capricorn in the fourth house, who she is at her core is wounded, and lacking in worth. Juno conceals and doesnt feel, but its within her, the wound surrounding authority figures, and fathers, ever since her birth, men have been out to get her. Her home is broken, and she may often feel victimized or broken when with family or being a nurturer. Yet she persists, because the essence of ness and naturality, Vesta is in the fourth in capricorn conjunct Chiron, despite her wounds she will always fight to reach the top and achieve her goals, she is devoted to being professional, concise, traditional, . Chiron and Vesta are opposite her mars, showing that she feels wounds around what she can do, and what she can achieve on her own, yet she is devoted to always trying to come out on top. Vesta and Chiron are square juno and Ceres, this shows that there are intense wounds involving trust, and the reputation is known for being wounded or hurt, damaged goods, however, she is actually so loyal its destructive, lots of betrayal. The fifth house is housing capricorn, showing that she does not in fact like to “date around” she takes it very seriously, and encounters many trials and delays in finding the love she is looking for, she is a traditional romantic, but keeps it under wraps, the ruler of the fifth is in the first in libra, showing that she craves romance, and peace, and likes relationships to be equal, however using juno as coruler, it would place the other ruler in the eighth house in aries, showing that she wants her relationships to be intense, merging, and climactic, she likes to be in control in relationships. Her NN is in Aquarius ((conjunct echo, isnt that cool?)) its also conjunct a silly asteroid i pulled up to chuckle at, Tea. The asteroid Tea is opposite venus and moon in leo, showing that its her destiny for her relationships and feelings to be broadcasted to the public, and thats tea ((her NN being in aquarius is super symbolic since three of Junos major holidays are in february.))  for fun, Juno likes business, politics, traditional things, art, the occult, and bdsm in her free time. In the sixth house we have aquarius, the rulers of the sixth are in the second and first, showing that a major part of her routine, is her appearance, and making money,, she has pallas athene in her sixth house in pisces conjunct her Dsc, the house of open enemies, since her step daughter pallas athene is/was known to make her quite upset, but this shows that her daily routine may involve being diplomatic, tactful and strategic and she may see health from a very cerebral point of view, she loves sophisticated and complex, rich foods, pluto is in her sixth conjunct the dscm this shows her penchant for dark, upsetting relationships, with extreme power dynamics, but they bring her power and wealth despite the pain. Her daily routine may involve being self destructive. In her seventh is herself, she is very relationship oriented, and as i said, i do think that she exalts in libra, this shows that with Juno in aries rx, her reputation is that on a wild, aggressive, bombastic woman who doesn't take no for an answer and takes what she wants and is very selfish, it shows a toxic relationship to authority,, and that her partnerships are always filled with strife and conflict. Ceres in the eighth shows that she loves to take care of people by showing them the depths of who they are and the dark side of life, showing all the ugly and letting them be what they have always been and will always be, Ceres being on her physically y shows that she has deep ties to mother earth and the ancient ways, and craves stability, organization and structure. Juno is square mars, showing unstable and painful connections, and a reputation for having a bad temper. Eighth house is empty, housing aries, ruler of the eighth is in the tenth, showing that she approaches sexuality and change seriously and with thorough investigation, Taurus is in the ninth, ruler of the ninth is in the eleventh, showing that she feels spirituality, travel and higher learning should be at a communal level, and should be on higher minded ideals. The MC is in Gemini, the ruler of the MC is in the first in Libra conjunct Saturn, showing that she has a reputation for being classy, sophisticated intelligent and refined, she may be constantly going through things, or have her drama out in the open. She has Mars, her son, in the tenth, showing that she demands and takes authority whether given to her or not, her mars is conjunct lilith in the tenth, showing she can have a very virulent and toxic darkly feminine reputation, she has goals and aspirations of being in power and in control, and masters these things. In her eleventh we have her moon, which is conjunct venus in leo, showing that she tries to escape her feelings, but feels them deeply, she tries to repress them, but they always explode in theatrical ways eventually, however she is in control of them. She is deeply romantic and affectionate in ways some do not understand, and very loyal to those who she calls friend the moon and venus are her friend, the ruler of the eleventh is in the eleventh. The twelfth house is housing leo, showing that the source of all of her pain, is her ego, and need for status, the ruler of the twelfth is in the twelfth, her sun is in virgo in the first decant, showing how she is deeply invested in the earth, and in the details. She is constantly working and seeking improvement in all things and her workaholic tendencies may bring her pain.

Thank you for sticking through all that! I genuinely do feel that she is a good candidate for coruler to Capricorn ((not that anyone was looking)) and on the topic of her not making sense exalting in Libra but not being domicile, allow me to explain. Juno cares a lot about her public image, shes a career women for better or worse, and to many, a lot of times for worse, this is who she is without frills at neutral, however in Libra, she becomes loved, wanted and appreciated which are all things she years for deeply, with moon in Leo she has a literal need to be worshipped. The reason why she is uncomfortable with Martian energy in Aries but not scorpio, is because the image she presents in aries is completely undesirable, it is not her way, she loves for her son to be with her, when she is in control, however being with him while he runs the show is stressful. She is controlling, perfectionistic and stressed easily, and being in a realm of fiery chaos, sex and blood shed with loud noises, and clashing of steel is not her forte, however, being in a dark cave plotting amidst the scorpions, and putting battle plans together, paints her as manipulative, dark, and controlling which she can live with, she loves her son, but she deeply enjoys him in his darker mode.

Thank you, I hope you all have a wonderful time wherever you may be.

[etherealfiyaaa]

✨DAYS OF THE WEEK + MAGICK✨

Each day of the week is ruled by a planet which possesses specific Magickal influences. Use this knowledge to further your own practices...

• MONDAY (MOON): Monday is ruled by & dedicated to the Moon & all of her Magick & mystery. Monday’s are great for women’s mysteries, illusion, prophetic dreaming, emotions, travel & fertility. It’s a good day for divination, for intuition & Healing Magick. It’s also the day best suited for spells & Magick involving dream Magick, healing & spells or Magick involving memory, purity & virginity...

***KEY WORDS - Peace, sleep, healing, compassion, purification, fertility, spirituality, honesty, spiritual cleansing, virtue, goodness, perfection, unity, lunar power, money, psychic ability, psychic awareness, psychic endeavors or impressions, Magick, change, invoking the Goddess’s name, invoking power, creative ideas, divine inspirational messages, childbirth & friends...

▪️SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR MONDAY ENCHANTMENTS WOULD INCLUDE:

• Getting outside & looking for the Moon in the heavens. Sit under her light & absorb a little glamor. Call on the moon goddess Selene for practical help in Magickal issues...

• Invoking the god Thoth for wisdom & insight...

• Empowering your silver jewelry under the light of the moon. Wear moonstone or pearl jewelry today to add a lunar & Magickal shimmer to your outfit. Be mysterious & subtle & wear moon-associated colors such as white, silver, & blue...

• Working spells for safe travel with a simple moonstone...

• Gathering bluebells, jasmine, gardenias, or white roses to create a little garden witchery with the flowers that are associated with the moon...

• Setting up a lunar Tarot spell today to increase your psychic powers...

• Eating a lunar fruit such as a melon to be healthy, serene, & at peace...

• Brewing up a cup of chamomile or mint tea & enchanting it for sweet dreams & restful sleep...

• TUESDAY (MARS): Tuesday is ruled by Mars & just like the God of war, This is the time to tap into Magicks to call for strength & courage. Tuesday is for rebels & warriors. If you are facing a challenge of any kind, need to boost your courage or want to enhance your passions, Tuesday is the day of the week for you. Tuesday is best for active & goal setting Magick. It’s also the day best suited for spells & Magick involving initiation rites, spells of protection or to gain wealth, Magick involving enemies, prison & war...

***KEY WORDS - Physical energy, passion, sex, sexuality, sexual encounters, movement, vitality, motivation, strength, building strength of mind & body, men’s power, men’s mysteries, confidence, anger, intensity, drive, ambition, achievement, courage, aggression & protection...

▪️SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR TUESDAY ENCHANTMENTS WOULD INCLUDE:

• Wearing the fiery colors associated with this day: scarlet, red, black, & orange. Don some of the more daring & bewitching colors of your wardrobe on Tuesdays & turn a few heads...

• Carrying a bloodstone in your pocket or wearing garnet-studded jewelry to reinforce your convictions...

• Working with protective & fire associated plants such as the snapdragon, thistle, & holly to boost your shields & bravery...

• Burning spicy scented energy-enhancing candles to add a little Magickal aromatherapy to your home...

• Cooking up a hearty meal featuring carrots, peppers, & garlic (all Mars foods & spices) to empower yourself for victory & success...

• WEDNESDAY (MERCURY): Wednesday is ruled by Mercury & this day is full of contradictions , change & excitement. Wednesday’s are wild & wacky days. Wednesday’s are good for change, cunning & the arts. It’s a good day for communication & intellectual Magick. It’s also the day best suited for spells & Magick involving communication, business & travel, to rid oneself of debt & fear or bad habits...

***KEY WORDS - Knowledge, wisdom, intellectual pursuits, research, the conscious mind, study, travel, travel-planning, communication, mental acuity, the arts, charm, confidence, change, adaptability, acceptance, divination & career & job issues...

▪️SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR WEDNESDAY ENCHANTMENTS WOULD INCLUDE:

• Pulling a little Wednesday color Magick into your life by wearing purples or orange...

• Carrying a multi-purpose agate with you & tapping into its various charms...

• Working with Magickal plants such as the fern for protection. This plant will also boost the power of any other Magickal plants with which it is arranged...

• Incorporating lavender into charms & spells for transformation...

• Using the charming scent of lily of the valley to improve your memory, or working with the aspen tree for communication...

• Calling on Athena, patron of arts & crafts, for inspiration for a new project...

• Fanning out a Tarot spell to increase your creativity...

• Calling on Hermes on a Wednesday night to bring movement & good luck into your life...

• THURSDAY (JUPITER): Thursday is ruled by Jupiter. Here is the day of the week for prosperity, abundance & good health. Thursday is “Thor’s Day.” This Norse God gave the day his name & many of his attributes, including strength & abundance. Thursday (or “Thorsday”) is best for spells for justice, Protection & travel. It’s also the day best suited for rituals of marriage & spells & Magick to improve marriage, honor & oaths, harvests, riches & treaties...

***KEY WORDS - Luck, expansion, growth, honor, attainment, worldly power, influence, accomplishment, fulfillment, money, prosperity, generosity, finances, legal matters, spirituality & development...

▪️SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR THURSDAY ENCHANTMENTS WOULD INCLUDE:

• Wearing a regal & royal shade of blue to see how it affects your mood & your Magick. Other colors for the day include purple & green...

• Carrying a turquoise tumbled stone in your pocket to draw a little protective & healing energy your way...

• Incorporating honeysuckle blossoms & cinquefoil foliage into prosperity charms...

• Calling on Thor for abundance, or on the Roman god Jupiter for the ability to peacefully referee a fight...

• Adding a few oak leaves — which are sacred to these Thursday gods — to your charms to see how much better your spell works out...

• Casting a charm with wheat stalks for prosperity, & calling on Juno Moneta to bring wealth into your life...

• Baking up some whole wheat bread & blessing it for abundance. Be sure to thank the gods for your family & your good health...

• FRIDAY (VENUS): Friday is ruled by & belongs to Venus, both the planet & it’s namesake Roman Goddess of love. This day is sacred to many other God’s & Goddesses of love such as: Eros, Venus, Aphrodite & the Norse Goddess that gave the day it’s name - Freya. This day of the week is for Magickal topics such as birth, fertility, romance (& love.) Colors for today include pink & aqua. Friday is best for love spells, family, friends & healing the emotions. It’s also the day best suited for spells, Magick & rituals involving beauty, sexuality, pleasure, harmony, fertility & growth...

***KEY WORDS - Fertility, money, prosperity, healing, hope, women’s power, women’s mysteries, sharing, bonding, the arts, grace, charm, goodness, appeal, love, romantic attractions, all relationships, friendship, reconciliation, beauty, physical make overs & beautifying your environment...

▪️SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR FRIDAY ENCHANTMENTS WOULD INCLUDE:

• Carrying a rose quartz with you today to send out some gentle & loving vibes to those crabby co-workers...

• Working a loving Tarot spell to charm a friend’s pregnancy with good health & safety...

• Working a little flower Magick to enchant a single pink rose for friendship & inner beauty, & setting it on your desk. Or try empowering a red rose for passion & placing it in your bedroom...

• Burning rose-scented candles to encourage the same effect. Call on Eros to “bring a passion for life” to your days...

• Sharing a romantic snack with your partner. Feed each other ripe, red strawberries. Those strawberries are love-inducing food, & are sacred to many love goddesses, including today’s patroness, Freya...

• SATURDAY (SATURN): This day of the week got it’s name from the God of karma & time, Saturn. Saturday is ruled by Saturn. This day is (obviously) associated with the planet Saturn & is our last day of the week. Traditionally Saturdays are great days for protection, banishing, a negative situation & generally a good time to clean up any Magickal messes that you’ve been ignoring. Saturday is a good day for planning & preparation; perform spells to do with property, contacts or career Magick. It’s also the day best suited for spells & Magick involving freedom, life, protection, gifts, building & real estate...

***KEY WORDS - The law, limitations, binding, holding, returning, stoping, endings, internalizing, dwindling, blocking, interrupting, loss, collecting, changing, renewing, transforming, longevity, exorcism,homes, houses, home related issues, brainstorming future projects, committing to personal goals, weight-loss, releasing bad habits & endings of any kind relationships...

▪️SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR SATURDAY ENCHANTMENTS WOULD INCLUDE:

• Wearing the colors of the day, black & deep purple. Here’s your perfect excuse to be dramatic & witchy. Empower these dramatic pieces of your wardrobe for protection & strength...

• Burning black candles to absorb negativity & burning purple ones to increase your Magickal wisdom & boost your spirituality...

• Adding a touch of garden witchery to your Saturday spells by working with the pansy (in black or purple of course) the morning glory flowering vine, or the cypress tree...

• Carrying an obsidian, hematite, or jet tumbled stone in your pocket to reinforce your personal protection & to ward off bad vibes & sour feelings. You can also add these crystals to a candle spell on a Saturday night to really increase the punch of your spellcasting...

• Cleaning your house & cleansing it while you are at it. Tap into those obstacle-removing vibes & the positive, concluding energies...

• SUNDAY (SUN): Sunday is ruled by & corresponds to the Sun, our closest star. This day is full of wonder & all sorts of Magickal potential for success, wealth, & fame. Sundays are for personal achievements of any kind such as working towards a promotion at your job, seeking fame & wealth, or being acknowledged for a job well done. All of these goals fall under the golden influence of the sun. Sunday is best for health Magick, prosperity spells & rituals for well-being & overall success. It’s also the day best suited for spells & Magick involving creativity, fortune, self-expression, hope, beauty & victory...

***KEY WORDS - Solar power, success, personal empowerment, generosity, material wealth, immortality, spirituality, health, healing, healing of body, mind & soul, management, decision making, insights to problem solving, divine intervention, miracles, special friendships, vitality, strength, protection & invoking the God’s aid...

▪️SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR SUNDAY ENCHANTMENTS WOULD INCLUDE:

• Sitting outside at sunrise & calling on the goddess Brigid for illumination & inspiration...

• Wearing gold jewelry or clothing that is gold or sunshine yellow to pull some color Magick into your life...

• Arranging a few sunflowers in a vase & empowering these “flowers of the sun” for fame & ambition...

• Gathering up the common marigold flower & scattering it’s petals about to encourage prosperity...

• Baking up a batch of cinnamon rolls for the family & enchanting them for health & success...

• Snacking on a solar fruit, the orange, & enjoying the Magickal boost it brings to your life...

• Closing up the final day of the bewitching week with a bang by calling on Goddess Hecate for protection & guidance...

▪️TIMES OF THE DAY:

• DAWN - The start of a new day is best for spells that invite fresh energies into your life; perform rituals to bless the beginning of relationships, jobs & work projects, health regimes & new studies...

• NOON - Midday is best for spells that require the Sun’s full energy, such as health, money, opportunity or success Magick...

• SUNSET - As the day ends, cast spells for release, letting go of illness, poverty, heartbreak & failure; This is also a good time to perform a blessing for the following day...

• MIDNIGHT - In the dark of night, work with the Magick of the deep unconscious; cast spells for healing loved ones, & to enhance self-development, divination & ESP...

Remember... Every day is a Magickal day, Just how enchanting of a day it turns out to be is completely up to you!!! Love, light & warm blessings to all 😉😘 BB 🖤 XOXOXO ~Barbie 🌖🌕🌔

[alwaysaliighthouse]

A Bit of a Writing Dump

A little dump of the last couple of month’s of writing down my thoughts:

1/30/20 You are Sirius; Filling my bleak, dark skies with the light of a thousand suns.

You are Venus; Rising with the horizon, bursting with a new dawn.

You are Castor; Welcoming Geminids to brush past my Earth, offering me handfulls of wishes.

You are Polaris; Keeping me safe in rough waters, guiding me home to your arms.

You are Andromeda; A galaxy of stars, untouchably beautiful. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 2/1/20 - An ode to Bub You are rays of sunshine seeping through my blinds, Comfy, like early morning stretches, And sleepy yawns.

Raindrops on books, Quiet afternoons inside, Hiding away from the world.

The simplicity of life, Even in a bustling city, All wrapped up in a tiny bow.

You keep the calm, in the calamity, When the world is coming down.

You're the best decision, I've ever made; On a whim I decided to take you home, And love you.

And love you I do. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 4/6 There was a time I was so broken I could barely eat You watched as I crumbled, a human to ashes Atlas shrugged crushed by the weight of all his burdens. I crumbled slowly, and then faster as time went on When the calamity eased, I lost you amidst all my rubble.

Three months it took to allow myself to mourn the loss Five months it took to begin to rebuild my tragic empire Seven months it took to forget the way your honey brown eyes looked at me Nine months it took to embrace a life without you.

One day it took for you to dust my ashes off yourself And show up on my doorstep unannounced I embraced you like I never set you on fire to begin with Only to spark a new flame. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 7/29 There will always be days That you crash down on me like thunder. Days where I forget the rainbows after the rain, And instead drown in the overcast. I know that I'll be afraid that it will never end, The storm will turn to a hurricane; the hurricane a monsoon. Sometimes I feel like a child caught in the storm, Helpless and heavy with sadness.

------------------------------------------------------------------- 8/24 My brain wracks itself for memories that don't involve you. It seems as though lately I'm in a subconscious state of nostalgia. I wake from what I believe to be a restful sleep, only to be hit with vivd recollections of my dreams. The way your cologne smelled when I nestled my nose into the crook of your neck, Matt. The way you smiled at me the first time we met, Dylan. The gorgeous way your soft hands felt in mine, Jae. I have so many tears built up for my past loves. I rarely let them see the light of day; but sometimes, on days like these, where I dream so vividly, I can't seem stop the flood of the overcast. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 9/13/20 Today is September 13, 2020, and I'm single for the first time in my adult life. I have no idea where to go from here or what to think. There's part of me that feels liberated, and a second part that feels completely petrified.

Physically, it feels like a huge weight on my shoulders and heart. Mentally it's exhilarating - even if I feel like crying and I'm afraid of being alone.

What does one do with themselves when they just get to.... be? I've looked on forums desperately trying to figure out what I do with myself now. Most just tell you to "work on yourself," or "do all the things you've always wanted." I think I've been part of someone else for so long, I don't know what I want.

I'll probably spend the majority of my time working and busting my ass to get a higher promotion. I also want to start writing again. I miss it, and it's something I've always loved doing. Aside from that, I feel lost. Being in the middle of a pandemic, there's not much you can do aside from being alone.

My brain keeps telling me to be with a woman. While it's not a bad idea, I can't help but only go for men. Maybe that's because I don't know any LGBTQ+ women.

I'm still in love with Dylan. That's a fact, and it's something I'm going to struggle with for a long time. I've never loved anyone as much as I love him. Even two years later he gives me butterflies. We plan to sleep together when we feel the need to, with no strings attached. I think having this to hold on to might help me through this time.

Collapse I'm petrified, I'm nervous, I'm so incredibly sad.

But I'm free.

This is the first day of my life.

------------------------------------------------------------------- 10/23/20 Water fills my mouth and I can breathe again. You have palm trees in your hair, and the carribean in your eyes. You taste like adventure You feel like a sunrise.

Your voice - like a siren song to my ears. I embrace your melody, allow it to wash over me. You're the moon and I am the tide; You sway me. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 11/22 I told you I want a sparkly love story, You told me that we could be sparkly. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 11/29 These days I'm too jaded to believe in love, I've lost myself so many times in others, That I've forgotten where I come from.

I'm a phoenix - Rising from the ashes of my heart, Again and again as I'm broken.

I'm the King of a desolate wasteland, With a rusted crown, And a throne that can't carry all the weight of his burdens.

And I'm a vagabond, Wandering into the broken hearts of others, Simply to repair them and take my leave.

I'm sorry that I don't love you, I don't think I'm capable any more. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 12/19/20 Maybe there is hope For a sad soul like mine. Wading through waters, Dancing on my tiptoes, Miles from the shoreline. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 2/3/21 I'm anxious and sad. I don't want to talk about it, or let others know what they may be able to do to make me feel better because it just makes me feel needy and hopeless. So I just do it on my own. And then I just feel lonely. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 2/5/21 I could have been an astronomer, Wading through the atmosphere of Jupiter. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 2/10/21 Yesterday I knew I loved you. For the first time I had the epiphany that my heart could burst from all the love I have for you; Curled up in the back of your Jeep in the garage, drifting off to sleep with your arms curled around my head and my face in the palm of your hand. I thought I wasn't capable any more - I felt so jaded. You've sparked so much happiness in me. I'm capable. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 2/21/21 There have been a handful of moments where I felt the undenying "I love you" feeling. Like when you leaned on me while we were rafted up with Glen and Kat on Saturday. When we were sailing out and you started singing the Game of Thrones theme song, I found myself almost saying it without thinking. You're so good for me. On the water is where it began, On a cloudy day, Trying to mend something that was broken.

[vesperlionheart]

The Barn 10

[part1][part2][part3][part4][Part5][Part6] [Part7][Part 8][Part 9]

Sakura closed her eyes again and tried to remember, but couldn’t. There was something at the edge of her thoughts, something she had been thinking before Kakuzu found her and picked her up, but she had passed out right after than and the thought was lost in the fog behind her brain.

Sakura swallowed and winced at the feel. Her throat was still bruised and would likely take a few more hours to heal. She was lucky it was the weekend and she didn’t have students to see her look like the poster child for abused women needing donations.

“You up for a glass of water this time?” Kakuzu asked, scooting closer to her side with a glass already in his hands.

Sakura blinked and then turned in bed, only to wince at the feel of her side and the ache between her ribs. It had been a long time since she last had to heal rapidly, and her body was a little out of practice. They said the more Uzumaki healed, the faster the process became. There was also some study in the cells during regeneration that linked it to the long lifespans her family was famous for.

Sakura pat the side of her face and felt the bandages. Her lip was split in the marring, as well as a huge chunk of her cheek. Even after it healed, Sakura knew there would be discoloration for a few more days that she would need to hide with make up. Anywhere else and she wouldn’t have bothered, but her face was important.  

“He scarred my face.”

“It will heal, and you’re still plenty beautiful.”

Sakura took the glass of water extended to her and glared balefully over its rim at the man seated on her bed. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“You forget who you’re talking to. Facial scarring and pity are my speciality.” He pulled down the scarf in front of his face and showed off the scars (no longer hidden with magic) that stretched from lip end to cheek ridge. “And that wasn’t flattery, just conversation built around facts.”

She spared her surroundings an afterthought of a cursory glance and found the room tasteful with minimal decorations and clear functionality. The walls were a faded mint, which might have been odd for a man, but she liked it. There were small, potted succulents on the windowsill and extry fuzzy gray blankets folded over the arm of a sitting chair in the corner, begging to be touched. The desk in the corner looked unused and pristine leading her to assume she was in some sort of guest room. Under any other circumstances she probably would have liked the room, but the circumstances still hurt.

Sakura closed her eyes and for a moment she wanted to believe it was the world going dim and turning off, and not just her sight. No matter how much she wished it, the world would go on turning and the sun wouldn’t change for her.

“I wanna say I had him on the ropes, but I didn’t even get close, did I?”

“You’re too out of practice and Karin made you cocky.” Sakura opened her eyes to glare but Kakuzu just shrugged. “She did. She’s out of practice too. That’s what happens when you fall out of favor and let yourself go. She might have been dangerous if she wasn’t such a self pitying layabout.”

Sakura’s glare turned sharper. “They were abusing her.”

“They were using her blood to boost their own magic stores. It’s what kept her in such high favor after Mito passed.”

Sakura let her eyes shut once more, and this time it was because the effort to keep them open drained her too much; they were weighted curtains over her eyes. With her eyes closed it was almost too easy to paint a picture of how things changed with Kushina taking over Mito’s role and cementing a nomination for her boys...Naruto in particular. At least Mito was fair about nominations of the dames and dons. Kushina didn’t seem to play that sort of game when it came to Karin or other contenders. That explained why Karin was such a mess.

“Things changed a lot after Mito passed, I take it,” Sakura guessed.

“Every new regime of power brings change.”

Sakura didn’t bother opening her eyes, but she did turn her face towards Kakuzu and give him as much direct attention as she could.

“I didn’t know that the family qualified as a regime of power. That’s a little scary.”

“You were never that stupid.”

She couldn’t stop her lip from quirking, wanting to grin, but hating how it ached when the skin stretched. “Someone believed I was, otherwise I wouldn’t have been let go as easily as I was.”

“What makes you think they let go of you.”

Sakura thought back and remembered what Kakuzu had told her about being watched. Her credit cards and virtual footprint were all likely their gossip of the hour every odd weekend, but that was it.

The thoughts made her want to look away and focus on something else, like the foxglove flowers in the vase by the door or the pastel watercolor landscapes hanging on the wall. The paintings were all originals and well crafted pieces, likely costing the penny pincher something substantial.  

“There was a tail on my house, and then one on my dorm, and a plan in half my classes for the first year. By the time I was a junior they fell away. When I graduated they showed up once for that party, but didn’t follow me into graduate school. It was then that I considered myself free.”

“They let you slip away, but they still had a hand on your leash; it was just slack so you couldn't feel it.”

“Lovely.”

Sakura thought there would be more anger, like when she told Kakuzu off the last time he stopped by her office, but the anger was dull and far behind the stinging pain that was so greedy for more and more of her attention.   

“What else are you going to tell me, O personal savior?”

Sakura asked mockingly as she forced her eyes to open and her lashes to flutter in his direction. She was able to see his reaction but still couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling. It had always been hard to tell with Kakuzu. Every gaze that wasn’t through tinted shades felt intense.

“What are you thinking now?” she heard herself whisper before she knew what she was saying.

She saw him blink and pull back slightly before making up the distance as he braced with one hand on the edge of the bed and moved in.

“I was honest when I told you this was a safe place. I want you to know what you would be getting into if you didn’t have my help, but I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

“Cute,” Sakura cooed, eyebrows arched in disbelief. “You’re a real romeo.”

He almost recoiled at the words. “I never claimed to be. I was being serious when I said you would need help. Don’t you see that?”

She rolled her eyes. “I have what I wanted and I didn’t want anything more, so the need for protection has passed. It hurt and it was a little tricky, but I think it’s going to be fine if I don’t cross paths with the main house after this.”  

“That’s not possible.”

“I’m not a witch anymore,” Sakura laughed. “I don’t use my magic. The past few weeks have been a fluke. Once I figure something out with the others this will be over and things will go back to how they used to be.”

“How naive.”

Sakura’s smile strained. “Ever hear the term ‘self fulfilling prophesies?’ If I believe in something strongly enough I can sway my fate, sometimes not a lot, sometimes just enough. If I believe it, maybe I can make it happen.”

“You don’t and you won’t.”

“You think you know me pretty well, but you don’t really.”  Sakura curled her lip even though it hurt and closed her eyes again. “It will be fine after it’s hard for a while.”

Kakuzu huffed in agitation, leaning back far enough to cross his arms. “What of the Sound of Heaven coven? You think they would leave such low hanging fruit alone?”

Sakura’s mind came up blank. “What?”

“Oh, you didn’t know about the antagonistic rival coven growing up along the fairy roads? That’s a variable you didn’t factor in, am I correct?” He straightened and tilted his chin back into his scarf. “The lands around here are too rich to not be envied by lesser covens. Did they not tell you that in your little witch classes?”

“There aren’t enough witches alive to make a coven strong enough to threaten Mito’s legacy,” Sakura huffed. “And it has nothing to do with me.”

“They recruited Tayuya last month, after she failed to inherit the Barn and was all but cast out by Kushina Uzumaki. When she came to visit you it wasn’t to get back into their good graces, but to let her new Patriarch know.”

Sakura reached out with her hands to find the surface of her bed and brace against it. “So?” Her voice was a mask of indifference woven in tone.   

“Karin defected last night. Kushina wasn’t happy with her loss of Madara to you and it came to blows.” Kakuzu looked away.

“That wouldn’t be enough to throw someone like Karin out of the coven. She’s blood.”

“Correction. She’s a blood witch, and more importantly not one of her sons. Kushina doesn’t care who she excommunicates anymore and the coven is on the path to ruin or war. Either way, it’s not going to be so easy to stay out of the crosshairs and that might be the real reason Naruto gave up the cards to you. Even if his mother is crazy, he’s manipulative enough to know a potential ally when he sees it.”

She couldn’t help but make a face. ”Oh, wow, I didn’t know that was what he looks like when he’s trying to make friends.” She touched the scar on her mouth.

“Believe me, that was not the worst he can do. Besides, he wanted an ally, not a friend. There is a difference. To Naruto, all he needs is his brother and the whole world can turn it’s back on him and he would still be fine. I think it’s the same way with Menma, but not because he has a choice. Naruto is the sun and everybody else are just planets, caught in the pull of his massive gravity.”

“Jupiter isn’t.”

“What was that?” Kakuzu asked.

Sakura’s voice went dreamy and her eyes roved behind her eyelids as if she were reading something in the darkness of her mind. Her photographic memory bleed the scene into perfect clarity.

“Jupiter does not orbit the sun. With 2.5 times the mass of all the other planets in the solar system combined, it's big enough that the center of gravity between Jupiter and the sun doesn't actually reside inside the sun — rather, at a point in space just above the sun's surface.” She opened her eyes once more and faced Kakuzu. “If he’s the sun I’ll be Jupiter.”

He chuckled, taking her water glass and looking into it. “I don’t think you would be anything so mundane. You’d be something outside of our reach, a distant star burning beyond the spill of our Milky Way, unassumingly small in the distance, but no less menacing once reached. Naruto’s lucky you’re giving up.”

He set the water glass down on the table and braced his hands on his knees before standing.

“The others.” She reached out for him, grabbing the fabric of his neatly pressed trousers and clinging.”They don’t know where this place is, do they? Are they safe?”

He paused, scarf slipping as he stared down at her, mouth slightly parted. She saw him swallow before answering. He didn’t pull away.  “They’re safe, back at the barn. I sent them there.”

“How?”

He almost moved closer to her, but she might have just imagined that. He was towering and tall as he loomed over the bed she lay in.

“I…” his breath interrupted his speech and she could hear how before he swallowed and tried again. “I am not so useless to not have my own set of tricks. You forget I am proficient in magical arts after having lived in this land for nearly seventy years.”

Sakura’s fingers slipped and fell away from the fabric as she chuckled. “You’re an old geezer.”

By his tone she could tell he took offence at that. “I age only outside of a binding. I’m not really that old.”

“Old,” Sakura sang, turning her face away, back into the pillows.

She started to melt into sleep and Kakuzu watched her all the way down until she was dozing with soft sounds on his pillows. He could smell her magic burning where she bled, knitting skin and tissue back like threads in silk. His sheets would smell like she slept in them for days. He wouldn’t complain about that. He also probably wouldn’t wash them until the smell faded.

He was almost too distracted to notice the sulfur in his living room and the burning of dimension shifting.

“I though it required too much magic to activate the space–time ninjutsu of your Sharingan,” Kakuzu said as he shut the door behind him.

“You’re one to speak. What did it take to activate those tags and sweep so many people off their feet to not one, but two different locations?” Madara leaned back, crossing his arms across his chest. “And you know I have plenty of chakra to burn.”

“You’ll run out before you know it, and she won’t bail you out. She’s not the type to make snap judgments under pressure, so she’s not going to make you her familiar if you start to fade.”

Madara made a mocking face. “Oh, you know her so well. Pervert stalker.”

“My intentions are no less honorable than yours.”

“Who said mine were honorable?” Madara asked.

“Naturally,” Kakuzu sighed, sounding exhausted with the Uchiha. “That comes as no surprise, but this time I’ll have to insist that you not pursue her. You’re out of depth in this strange new world.”

“And you’re not?”

Kakuzu didn’t hide any of his face as he glared openly at Madara. “Survive nearly a century on the marrow of a matriarch’s magic and try saying that again. You’re not suitable for this world the way you are now. You’re reckless and believe you’re the king again.”

Madara leaned forward, his eyes widening as glowing red pinwheels bleed across his pupils, turning viciously like blades. They thrummed with magic older and heavier than the bones of the earth. “I think you’ve forgotten who I am or what I’ve done in the world we once shared. I am Madara Uchiha, a god of dreams and nightmares, destroyer of nations.”

“That was another time and another world. You’re not that person anymore, for better or worse. Others pulled out of the void didn’t even remember the war at the end, and even I lost that recollection until my bond with Mito solidified a month after my initial summoning. The ones that came through before me didn’t recall half as much with twice as much time.”  

“Others?”

Madara glared, lifting his chin as a sly smile stretched across Kakuzu’s face, tugging at his stitches.

“Yes, there are others.”

“You tell that to Sakura, or are you withholding that too until she consents to play mother to your self gratification fantasies?” Madara closed his eyes and the red in them faded but didn’t disappear completely. “It doesn’t sound like she’s dying to talk with you again. Besides, she enjoys my company enough during those midnight hours.”

Kakuzu simmered but kept the expression from reaching his face. Instead, he schooled his expression into the stone set used for court rooms and business meetings. He was a professional that knew how to deal with the disorderly and unkind.

“Mock all you like. You understand nothing.” Kakuzu pointed to the seal still burning his carpet. “I’ll send you back or you can return on your own, but you don’t get to stay here.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m leaving her here with you,” Madara growled, staring up at the taller male through his bangs and long, Uchiha black lashes. “You’re not going to move me.”

“I’ll insist.”

There was knowing in his eyes as Madara directed the fulness of his intention to Kakuzu. There were things said between them without words. The barest hint of magic flavored with age singed the edges of their senses.

“I’d like to see you try. I’ll make a scene and she’ll wake up and she’ll see what you’re trying to do. You had that room made up for her like you were expecting her to move in with you. It’s creepy enough, even for you.”

“I’m trying to protect her from forces and influences you aren’t even aware of yet. She’s a Uzumaki by blood and that means it’s dangerous for her to be unguarded right now. Her cousins were already recruited. If Kushina keeps weakening her coven, it’ll collapse under the weight of all her discarded tools.” For a moment Kakuzu was distracted as he thought about his words. “He’ll go after her next, even though he already has a bone witch.”

“Who will?” Madara snapped.

Kakuzu looked up and grinned. “No one you need concern yourself with. It’s a matter of covens and you’re only good for business among clans. If you don’t want to leave on your own that’s fine. I told Sakura she would be safe here and I was true to my word. Even though you could slip in here with a bit of space and time folding magic, that’s nothing my dominion spells can’t manage.”

The word was odd to hear and Madara ruffled at the sound of it. “Dominion?”

“This is my dominion, this quaint little apartment room with a view overlooking the lake Sakura can wake up to. I’ve blessed and purified it a hundred times over before Mito died, and my magic is still thick in its walls.” He lifted his hand and put his palm flat atop the surface. “Like here.”

There was a thrum of energy and Madara felt the magic pull behind his navel in a sick way that was all too familiar. His red eyes flashed too slowly as the spell rooted in him and sent him hurling through the path he burned when he first warped through space and time.

Madara snarled as best he could against the pull, but when he blinked, he was back in the Barn, looking at a pair of irritated and confused faces. He didn’t wait for them to ask before he grabbed the back of a chair and roared, throwing it at Gaara who caught it easily and held onto it, watching the Uchiha scream his curses.   

“Next time we see him I’ll gut the bastard.”

“I take it Sakura’s not coming back tonight,” Konan sighed, staring behind her at the bed in disappointment. It was still messy and unmade.  

Gaara huffed, setting the chair down. “I’m going to read in my loft. Call me when something exciting happens.”

Madara screamed again, wasting flares of magic.