#well at least i can make my anniversary day the begining of pride month <3

[hamadacare-xoxo]

happy pride month 🏳️‍🌈💕

[zodiakuroo]

Cupid’s Bullet

Dabi comes home with a very special Valentine’s Day surprise for you.

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Contains: dubcon/noncon, mentions of death, unhealthy relationship, gun play, fear play, forced orgasms, squirting, mindbreak, angst (if you squint?), quirk usage, one slap but it’s a hard one :3, overstimulation, creampie

Word count: 5.3k

Notes: pls this title is so cringe but it's like bullet instead of arrow cause... ya know but anyways happy valentine’s day from scumbag boyfie!dabi

Dating a villain meant that your relationship was unconventional to say the least. For one, public dates were out of the question, unless you wanted it to end in destruction of public property and some scorched heroes. You also always had to have some kind of flimsy excuse for your family and friends when they asked to meet your elusive boyfriend. In addition, you had to accept the fact that he would have to disappear sometimes for weeks on end to do his boss’ bidding.

There was also the small matter of arson, murder and theft and a multitude of other crimes that you’d prefer not to know about. And while you weren’t necessarily okay with a lot of what Dabi did, you loved him. You loved him so much that turning a blind eye was so easy it made you question your own morality. He didn’t scare you either. Not in the slightest, because you knew in his own special way, he loved you too.

In fact it ran much deeper than that. On his worst days, Dabi could set the world ablaze until nothing was left because in the end he didn’t care about anyone or anything, not even himself. Until he met you, he says. He tells you that in you, he’s found something to tether him to this existence.

Ok so maybe he didn’t use those words exactly, but he doesn’t have to. You know that’s what he means when he spoils you with expensive, stolen clothes and jewellery, when he offers to burn alive any person who makes you even the tiniest bit upset and when he comes home to you bloodied and beaten, trusting you to take care of him.

In summary, your relationship forced you to give up on having any “normal couple” experiences.  That included, celebrating anniversaries and silly holidays like Valentine’s Day so you never bothered to keep track of them. It could hardly be considered a sacrifice when you compared those things to what you actually got from your relationship.

Dabi had been gone for close to a month now and you didn’t expect him back anytime soon, not knowing where he was or what he was doing. In fact the very last thing you expected was for him to creep into your bedroom in the middle of night and rouse you from your peaceful sleep with a soft kiss on your temple.

You don’t jump out of bed in a panic, like any sane person would. Instead you let out a satisfied hum, surrounded by the scent of burnt flesh, ash and menthol, feeling warmth bloom in your chest. It should be unpleasant but its Dabi’s scent and you’ve missed it. You’ve missed him. You pick your phone up from your night stand, squinting your eyes at the bright light that makes them sting.

Sunday 14 February, 2:43am

“Welcome home.” You mumble groggily, trying your best to fight off your tired body urging you to go back to sleep.

Instead of replying, he greets you by pressing his mouth to yours. You let out a quiet gasp, startled by the sudden display of affection. His lips are chapped but that doesn’t matter, your tongue darts out to moisten them before your lips lock into a gentle kiss.

You reach up, weaving your hands through his dark hair in an attempt to draw him closer but he retreats, opting instead to turn on the bedside lamp but keeping his other hand behind his back. “Sit up doll. Got a surprise for ya.”

Any thoughts of sleep were long forgotten as soon as his lips met yours but now he’s really piqued your interest. You push yourself up against the headboard and sit cross-legged. You look up at Dabi expectantly. Your boyfriend is smiling wide, skin pulled so taut you think one of his staples might give out. He reveals to you what he has hidden behind his back. A square black box, wrapped in a cobalt satin ribbon.

It’s so cliché you can’t help but let out a small snort. “What is it?”

“It’s a gift. You know… for Valentine’s Day?” He says as though it should be obvious to you.

Your heart swells at the gesture. It really was a surprise. Not in a bad way, you just knew he wasn’t your average boyfriend and that was okay. You didn’t want him to be.

“Well now I feel awful. I didn’t get you anything.” You pout as he props the box onto your lap.

“’S like a toy… so it’s technically for you but kinda for both of us.” It’s unusual to see Dabi this excited. The way he’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, eyes filled with mirth makes you all the more curious.

“Like a sex toy?” A giggle escapes you as you undo the bow.

“Are we playing fuckin’ 20 questions? Just open it.” He presses you.

You huff at his impatience but you don’t comment, not wanting to wait any longer either. You remove the lid of the box only to find something wildly unexpected.

A revolver?

You look up at your boyfriend with confusion etched on your face but his gleeful grin doesn’t falter. You’ve never seen a sex toy like this so you pick up the article to test its weight. It’s definitely the real deal.

“Dabi, this isn’t a toy.” You state matter-of-factly.

He merely rolls his eyes and says “Doll, when you can incinerate someone with a flick of your wrist, that little thing is definitely considered a toy?”

“O-okay? What do you want to do with it?” You ask, placing offending object onto your nightstand, not really wanting to hold on to it anymore, the metallic smell making you feel queasy.

“Ever heard of Russian Roulette?” Dabi, picks up the abandoned item, looking down at it with pride.

“What?” You furrow your eyebrows as nervousness starts to creep into your system and you instinctively move to back away from him but Dabi is quick to pull you back.

“It’s real easy doll. No need to look so scared.” He crawls on top of you, caging you in with his limbs. “6 chambers. 1 bullet. All you have to do is be a good girl for me. If not, I pull the trigger and we see what happens.”

The look on his face is positively demented. Azure eyes wide and bright, patchwork face contorted into a a sinister smile, white teeth and silver staples gleaming in the dim light.

“Baby,” you hope the pet name will placate him. It usually does. “I don’t know about thi-“

CLICK

You let out a shriek as your body jolts in fear but you’re unable to move with his weight pressing on top of you.

“You see now doll?” He clicks his tongue behind his teeth. “You’ve gone and wasted a shot.”

Dabi climbs off of you and you’re left lying there with your heart hammering violently in your chest, body trembling, still reeling from the shock of what just happened. Reeling from the shock of what is happening

“You gonna listen now? Gonna be good?” Dabi prompts, rolling the gun around in his hand.

All you can do is nod as your eyes being to water. The uneasy feeling in your stomach only grows worse as your mind races with the possible things Dabi has in store for you.

“Good. Now strip.” He command and like a good girl, you obey.

Your arms feel like they’re made of lead, moving rigidly to take off your shirt (one of Dabi’s old ones). You can’t stop the tears from falling as you pull down your panties, fat droplets roll down your cheeks, desperately trying to swallow the sounds of your sobbing.

This can’t be happening. It’s Dabi. He wouldn’t hurt you. He promised you that.

“Oh cut the fuckin’ waterworks.” He snaps. “As long as you listen, you’ll be fine.”

You try to calm yourself with deep breaths, not wanting to irritate him any further.

When you turn to face him, he’s leaning back on his haunches, one hand resting on his thigh, the other lazily gripping the revolver. “Fair warning, I’m more of a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ kinda guy. But you know that already.” He thumbs the cylinder, making it spin. “Now, touch yourself for me.”

Breathing is difficult. No matter how much you try, it’s like you can’t get enough air into your lungs. Thinking only of gun in your boyfriend’s hand, you still you bring your own hand between your legs, but you can’t concentrate, what with the dread taking over your body making it tough to have any control of your body. Your movements are stiff and apparently not up to Dabi’s standards.

He only scoffs before-

CLICK

You scream again, body nearly flying off the bed before you curl yourself up into a ball. The fright is enough to stop your heart. For a second you believe it has.

“Doll,” Dabi’s gruff voice brings you back to earth, reminding you that you’re very much alive and whether or not you stay that way is entirely up to him. “You’re ruining my surprise. Got it ‘specially for you and now you’re being a brat.” He quirks an eyebrow at you, almost like a challenge.

“So-sorry.-“ your voice breaks. “I’ll be good.”

You’re still struggling to comprehend how any of this is real. You thought you knew him. You thought he loved you. And here he is, treating your life like it’s a game. You can’t help but think that this is your own fault. You thought you were above everyone else, the exception to your boyfriend’s villain behaviour.

“Yeah?” His voice drops to a whisper. “Then show me.” He challenges you. Dabi slips off his t-shirt and moves between your legs to get a better view, pressing on your knees to split them apart.

Self-preservation kicks in. There is one way out of this alive and that’s doing what he says. You spread yourself even wider, showing him all of you. Your hands, glide over your smooth thighs, kneading the pudgy flesh as you get closer and closer your sex, teasing yourself the way he would.  Your fingers find your clit and just a little pressure makes your eyes melt shut. Probably for best anyway. It makes it easier to imagine anything but this. You drag those fingers through your delicate folds, letting out breathy sighs as heat begins to bloom between your thighs.

You pretend, its Dabi’s touch. In your mind’s eye you see the two of you, limbs tangled with Dabi on top, resting his forehead against yours. It’s one of those nights where he wants to go slow. So slow that the sensation of his cock dragging in and out of is you bordering on torturous. It’s one of those nights where he wants to lay his head on your chest, mouthing at your breasts, laving your nipples with his wet tongue while you tell him, in that sensual voice  that you love him, that he’s perfect, that he’s yours.  Because it’s one of those nights, where everything feels like too much for him and the only person that he really has on his side is you.

It’s not long before you’re leaking. Somewhere, deep in the back of your mind, there’s a voice chastising you for being so easy for him… even now. There’s almost no resistance as two of your fingers, press into your entrance. Your fingers are no match for Dabi’s, they never hit all those deep, hidden spots  that make you see stars but still, you start to move them slowly, brushing your thumb over your clit every so often.

“Look at me.” You feel his breath waft over your pussy.

Eyelids fluttering open and you meet his gaze. It stuns you a little and your hands come to a standstill. He is handsome, breathtakingly so, even though he thinks you’re lying whenever you when you tell him that. The way he stares at you, with love and adoration in his eyes, it’s almost like the fantasy you were just imagining. Almost like the fantasy you’ve been living in this whole time. It’s enough to make you forget the situation you’re in. Then the muzzle of the gun is pressed to your clit, snapping you back to reality fast enough to give you whiplash.

“Fucking slut.” He growls and smacks your hand away from your pussy.

You jerk as he starts to move it the gun circles over your sensitive nub and then dipping down to your tight slit to gather up your juices.

“All those fuckin’ tears but look how wet you are.” He says more to himself than you as he admires the way your slick leaves a sheen on the barrel. With his eyes trained directly on yours, his perfectly pink tongue pokes out to lick it clean, groaning at the taste.

The next thing you know his arms are wrapped around your legs, guiding them over his broad shoulders. He kisses you on your mons before his tongue begins greedily lapping at your hole. “Tastes so good doll.” He mutters with his nose pressed against your clit. He slips the wet muscle inside of you making you whine.  You reflexively grab onto his black hair, tugging on the stands and he lets out a groan of approval. He moves up to your clit, circling it with his tongue before suckling on it. While he brushes just the tip of a finger over your cunt, making it clench around nothing while you desperately buck your hips, in an attempt to have it inside you.

The way he’s eating you out is almost romantic?

Or it would be, if it weren’t for the metal digging into your flesh.

“Doll,” He places a sloppy kiss on your clit, lighting dragging his teeth over the hood. “Want you to squirt for me.”

A lump forms in your throat. You can count on one hand the amount of times that has happened. You’re not sure of the odds that you’d be able to right now and it’s not a gamble you’re willing to take. “Dabi, I don’t think I can….”

CLICK

You thrash, screaming so loud it makes your throat burn.

Dabi still holds you open, keeping you in place. “I wasn’t asking.” He makes sure to maintain eye contact as he drops a fat glob of spit right on to your clit before diving face first into your cunt once again.

He pushes 2 of his long, lithe fingers into your tight entrance. It’s unexpected and you wince. He drags his right hand (the one holding the gun) up your torso, resting the muzzle underneath your breast, right over your racing heart. A reminder of what’s at stake. He envelopes your sensitive clit with his lips, moving his fingers in tandem with the suction. You’re consumed by desire as Dabi brings you so close to the edge.

“Dee-Deeper please.” Your pant out.

He smiles against your mound before complying with your request. “Right here?” His fingers press against that squishy patch deep inside you and your eyes roll back.

“Nnnggg yeah.” You’re barely able to mewl out. You dig your heels into his back and grind against his face, chasing your high. Dabi keeps hitting that spot with astonishing precision but you hold off for as long as you can, letting the pleasurable sensation build until the pressure in your core becomes unbearable. When it finally snaps because you can’t hold it anymore, your eyes squeeze shut, hands flying to his biceps and you dig your nails into the sinewy muscle. You gush around his fingers and all over his face. Dabi doesn’t move though, flicking your clit with his tongue repeatedly until you’re trembling and whimpering, pushing him away from your pussy. He finally relents, a pop echoing around the room as he lets go of you.

He gives you a predatory look, scared face and chest wet with the remnants of your orgasm. “You made such a mess baby but I’m glad you’re finally having fun.” He’s just as out of breath as you are but far more composed.

Your head is still fuzzy and limbs are still twitching but your boyfriend doesn’t let you recover. “C’mon, doll. My turn.” He begins to undo his belt, silver buckle clinking as he rushes to drag it through the loops of his jeans

You pull yourself on to all fours, now eye level with his crotch. He pulls down his pants and boxers in one go, his erection almost hitting you in the face.

“You’ve been lucky so far.” He taps the bulbous head of his cock on your lips, smearing your lips with the pre that dribbles out of it. “But I wouldn’t test it if I were you. Open.”

Your mouth is already watering at the sight of him. So long, thick and veiny. It’s disgusting actually, this Pavlovian response. He fucks you deeper, stretches you wider and makes you feel better than anyone ever had. You wonder briefly, if anyone ever could fuck you as good as Dabi.

You stick out your tongue and he slides himself between your lips, groaning as he pushes into your mouth, slowly, inch by inch. He fills your mouth completely and you shut your eyes, savouring the salty taste of him but you feel the muzzle press against your temple and making them shoot open. “Atta girl. Lemme see those pretty eyes.” He grunts as he plunges into your throat. You bob your head up and down his shaft, the hand at the back of your head setting a brutal pace. The room is filled with the sounds of you gagging and his hefty sac smacking against your chin.

“So good to me baby.” He tilts his head back, losing himself in the pleasure. The wet heat of your mouth surrounding him while your saliva leaks out, dripping down his balls. Dabi is big and heavy, stretching you so wide and making you jaw ache from the weight of him. You’re already lightheaded from the lack of air, no matter how much you try breathing through your nose. You don’t dare to complain though.

He pulls out of your mouth slowly, stretching a string of saliva from the head of his dick to your tongue that’s hanging out of your mouth. You pant like a bitch attempting to catch your breath. He doesn’t give you much time before he’s in your throat again, back to fucking your face.

“I love you so much. You love me?” He sounds so sweet, totally blissed out.

He stops thrusting and tilts your head up to look at him, blinking tear-clumped lashes. You try utter a ‘Yes, I love you.’ but with his shaft gagging you, it comes out all garbled. The muscles in your throat convulse around the deep intrusion. “You’d do anything for me right?” He asks, jabbing the muzzle even harder into your temple, finger resting lightly on the trigger. You nod, watching Dabi lose his composure bit by bit. “Yeah. That’s why you’re my girl.” He pushes himself even deeper inside you, making you finally take all of him, until your nose meets his pubic hair and holding you there. “Fuck.”

CLICK

“Hmmhhhhngggh” You squeal around him but you can’t pull off because of the grip he has on your scalp. When he lets you go you’re choking and coughing up a lewd mixture of spit and pre-cum.

“Wh- Why” You blubber, voice hoarse. You don’t understand. You were doing exactly what he asked. You were being good.

“Sorry baby. Felt so good, my finger slipped.” He doesn’t even try to hide his mischievous smirk. The fucker is definitely not sorry.

You want to beg him to stop this ridiculous game because you see now there’s no way you can win because Dabi doesn’t play fair.

He doesn’t give you the chance though, already shuffling off his bottoms all the way and propping himself up against the headboard. “C’mon pretty baby.” He tugs on your ankle.  Wanna see you bounce on my dick.”

You clumsily position yourself atop his lap quickly, before you can even think about it. You know he doesn’t need a reason to pull that trigger but still, you don’t want to give him one.

He grinds his tip along your heat, piercings dragging across your clit over and over again. It’s something he does whenever you have sex, to rile you up. And just like all those other times, it’s working. Circumstances be damned. “Needa feel this hot little pussy. Give it to me doll.” He murmurs against the shell of your ear.

You nod as you lift yourself off of him to hover your dripping wet hole over his hard dick. You slowly squat down on onto him, the fat head stretching you out, burning with every inch you take. You mewl, making futile attempts to blink away tears. You get halfway before you have to stop, resting your hands on his shoulders trying to gain leverage. You’re outright crying now, wet droplets landing on Dabi’s chest.

“’S matter doll.”

I’m terrified. You yell in your head but stay silent, choosing to focus on relaxing your ever-tightening hole in order to take more of him.

“Oh, I know.” He coos, voice dripping with condescension. “’S too big for your tiny cunny.” He leans forward to kiss away the salty tears. “But you can take it. I know you can.” He cups your jaw, stroking your cheek with a calloused thumb. “You can do it for me”

You start to move slowly up and down, using gravity to force more of his monstrous cock inside you with shallow movements. You really are trying your best but that’s apparently not good enough for Dabi and he lets you know that by pressing the barrel of the gun into your stomach. You freeze, horrified, more tears start falling from your eyes. You open your mouth to beg him to just give you a little time. You’re trying.

“Quit being a baby and just take it.” He says before you even get the chance.

“I’m trying Dabi, please just-“

CLICK

He cuts off your plea.  He’s not interested in your excuses.

The rotation of the cylinder sends vibrations through your abdomen. Amidst the shock, you release your grip on his shoulders and impale yourself on his shaft by mistake. The combination of the searing stretch and the blunt head of his cock kissing your cervix is so overwhelming that you collapse forward, head falling on to your boyfriend’s chest. You feel the rumbles of his chuckles while he’s quite literally splitting you open.

“See? Knew you could. Just needed a little scare. Isn’t that right.” He rubs your back as if to comfort you. He lets out a low whistle. “But looks like you’re all out of chances doll. Now bounce.” He gives you a spank with an inhumanly warm hand, making you squeal and leaving your cheek tender.  

Your hands find purchase on his shoulders again. Dabi’s sapphire eyes are practically glowing, daring you to be stupid enough to defy him one more time.

You pull off almost entirely, keeping just his tip inside of you, before spearing his shaft into you again.

“Good girl.” When he praises you with that raspy voice makes you keen and desperate for more of it.

His hand snakes its way up your torso to cup one of your breasts. Your back arches, pushing into his scorching hot touch, forgetting momentarily about his other hand and what he’s holding in it.  He gropes your chest, tweaks and twists at your nipples, leaving red, inflamed hand prints in his wake. You’re practically delirious with pleasure, babbling out incoherent streams of his name along with “yes” and “more”.  All the while, he murmurs praises about how good you are and how much he loves you. It’s confusing and you can’t process any of it.

“Who owns this perfect pussy?”

“Dabi. Fuck. Dabi.” Your tongue lolls out of your mouth in the most obscene way, drooling down your chin. Your plush walls pulse around him as he hits that sensitive spot every time you sink down on him.

“That’s right it’s all fuckin mine. My pretty baby.” Dabi’s eyes are focus on where your two bodies are connected watching the translucent ring of your cream appear and disappear as you ride him.

“Preeeettyyy.” You slur and he laughs at how fucked out you are, brain completely jumbled between the fear, the pain and the bliss all combined into ecstasy.

“Doll.” He groans. “I feel ya squeezin’ me. You gonna cum?”

He’s right. You nod as you feel that coil tightening again, threatening to snap at any second. The man finally starts putting in work, pounding into you every time you pull off of him. Dabi abandons the gun in favour of playing with your clit, rubbing quick sloppy circles. “Yeah? Gonna cream and gush around me? Want you to baby.” He buries his head in the crook of your neck, sucking, biting and licking while he assaults your sopping wet pussy. “C’mon doll, please.”

With that you orgasm. He grabs your hips pulling you flush against his thighs, fucking you through your orgasm, rolling his hips up into you until your high finally subsides.

He doesn’t let you catch your breath before he’s got the revolver pressed hard underneath your chin. “Now make me cum.” You almost collapse but the harsh grip he has on your hair suspends you upright.

Your mind is so foggy and Dabi gives you a small smile, appreciating the perplexed look in your droopy eyes. But he’s not done with you yet.

“Hey.” You’re ripped from your daze, when he slaps you across the face, sending your head swinging to the side. “Don’t pass out on me now.”  

“So-sorry! ‘M sorry!” You grovel as you slam your tired body down on his dick once again, trying to ignore the throbbing on your cheek, the ringing in your ears, and the ache in your battered cunt.  You’re so sensitive from your last orgasm but you don’t have a choice and you don’t dare deny him anything. Your thighs are quaking and burning with every movement but your boyfriend is unimpressed.

“You can do better than that doll.” He lets out a bitter laugh, enjoying every second of tormenting you. “It’s like you want your brains splattered on the ceiling.”

You start crying again, shaking your head frantically. In the time that you’ve been with Dabi, you’ve learned certain tricks, you know he likes it, but in this panic/lust induced frenzy, you can’t remember any of them. Instead, you bounce, mindlessly on him while your gummy walls clench tighter around him every time he nudges at your a-spot. Your legs are going numb from all the effort and you plop down, limp onto his lap, taking him to the hilt.

Dabi tsks at you, reminding you that you can’t rest just yet. You swivel your hips, grinding your pelvis against his while he’s buried deep in your wet heat. You pray to whatever deity is listening that he’s getting close, you’re not sure how much more you can take.

“If I don’t bust in the next 5 seconds.” His hand finds your clit again, you grind across his fingers has you rock against him. “Bang!” He emphasises the word by bringing a heated palm down on your ass.

A choked sob bubbles at the back of your throat, making him snicker

Hands pressed to his chest, you ride him like a woman possessed, the last bits of adrenaline kicking in. Your sloppy cunt squelches every time you drive yourself down on his cock just motivating you to fuck him harder.

“Five.” He grits out.

“Dabi, please!” But you’re met with icy, apathetic eyes staring back at you, feeling the terror that the rest of the city does when they so much as hear his name.

“Four.” He rubs your already raw clit, faster and you can feel another orgasm building, much quicker than your last two.

Your body feels so heavy but you can’t stop moving, not unless you want him to- “Please cum!” You beg. “Need your cum.”

“Three.”

He starts to fuck up into you again with unforgiving force.

“Wh-Why?!” is all you can manage as your mind starts to fog up again, the need to come becoming all the more urgent.

“Two.” He ignores your question, transfixed on your tits bounce in his face. You’re getting close to your third orgasm of the night and it seems Dabi is determined to get you there.

You still can’t believe this is real. You never thought that Dabi would treat you like this. You were supposed to be special.

Or at least that’s what he told you.

Moreover, you can’t believe how your own body is betraying you. You can’t believe you’re actually going to cum. Again.

“One.”

You cry out his name one last time, unsure if it’s out of fear or pleasure. You dig your nails into his arms again, in a feeble attempt to ground yourself as you cum around him. The orgasm that rips through you makes it difficult for you to be sure of anything.

What you are sure of is the fact that there was no bang or bullet.

Just one last CLICK (practically drowned out by your screaming) and the sensation of Dabi’s hot cum flooding your womb. He has a bruising grip on your hips, gun now discarded, and he ruts up into to making sure to stuff your cunt absolutely full of him. He begins to laugh as he softens inside you.

Your head is still spinning but once you’re able to push yourself off of him, you can finally make sense of what just happened.

He was fucking with you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You yell, using weak and quivering arms to throw pillows at him while you cry so hard it makes you dry heave.

Your asshole of a boyfriend starts cackling, clutching his abdomen as if he just pulled the world’s funniest prank while your heart is beating so hard and fast you think it might break through your ribcage.

“You should have seen your face. You were so fuckin’ scared.”

You become nauseous, feeling bile rising in your throat as you come to a sickening realisation.

This is not your Dabi. This is the Dabi that the rest of the world gets to see.

Evil, sadistic, merciless. This is the real Dabi.

You attempt to scramble off of the bed to get away from him, feeling overwhelmed by the humiliation. But Dabi grabs your wrist and yanks you into his chest, wrapping you up in his arms. A gesture you used to treasure but now it just made your skin crawl. “C’mon Doll you didn’t think I was being serious did you?”

You writhe in his hold, hitting against his hard, toned chest with pathetic fists. “Don’t be such a crybaby. It was just a joke.” He strokes your hair oh so tenderly. But you won’t fall for that again. Dabi is a villain through and through. You know that now.  

It’s no use fighting him off though, all the fight in you is used up. You don’t know what else to do. So you do the easy thing: nuzzle your head into his chest, tremors rocking your body as you hiccup, while he holds you. That way you can pretend that you feel safe with him, just like you used to.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, doll. I love you.”

[animesmutfest]

Hawks x Reader

You look at the clock in disbelief as the hand strikes twelve. You sat on the couch drinking wine with tears running down your face. Your husband is no where to be found. Again. Its your fourth anniversary and he has not been home at all today. Suddenly you hear the door unlock but you don't even look your just take another sip of your wine. You could tell he was at least tipsy as he stumbles in the house. He looks over to you and see your cup and tear streaked face. Walking closer he realized you’re dressed up and a card lays on the cushion next to her reading happy anniversary. Before he could even speak you start. "Two years. You haven't been here for an event for two years. You've missed even our own daughters birthdays." You say seething with anger. "Y/n listen" he starts. "You know what Kiego?! You can go fuck yourself! Get the hell out!" You scream at hawks throwing his jacket and shoes at him. "Come on Y/N do you really want to end things like this? Please don't give up on me!" He says pleading. "You have missed every single family event the past two years. If you want to drown in a bottle or use work as an excuse, me and our daughter deserve better than that!" You scream while crying. hawks now crying as well sinks to the floor realizing that you wear right. Every single family event for the past two years he has either been working or drinking. "Ill stop drinking babe! I wont ever drink again if that's what you want!" He cries. "I don't want you to do anything but be the man i thought i married. But i cant even trust you to do that considering you're never here" you shout. "Okay y/n ill leave. But i promise you I'm going to do better from here on!" He says walking out the door.you close it behind him and sink to the bottom balling your eyes out. His heart breaks as he hears your cries, the cries that he caused.

He gets in his car and drives to a hotel to give you space. At the hotel he cry's into his bottle of jack thinking about the facts and the facts are her has not been there for his own family. His two year older daughter ember is 3 and he hasn't been to her 2nd or 3rd birthday parties. He's always just told y/n something came up. "I really am a pathetic excuse of a man. My wife is perfect and my daughter is my pride and joy but I still do shit like this. I'm never fucking around when I need to be" he says crying harder. Back at the house y/n pretty much cried herself to sleep. The next day you send him a text telling him to stay away until he can prove to his family that we come first. He gave a simple okay response. You spend the day with ember playing with her and cooking dinner for her. Once you put ember to bed you head to your own room. You lay in bed with no one beside you and the loneliness makes you cry again. "I just wish he was here" you say as you drift asleep.

Six months later:

A few months ago I was strong enough to invite him over for dinner. Ember was with her grand parents as to not be involved in our issues. We made a deal that he would stay at a hotel and every weekend he can come over for dinner. So far he has made more time for our family than he ever has. He even has a glow on him now that he isn't drinking. That's right, he stopped drinking after that night. And tonight after six long and lonely months you really wanted him back home. He invited you out on a date at a nice restaurant and your mom offered to keep ember. You hear the doorbell ring as you make your way down stairs. He's wears a nice pair of pants and a button down. And this is what you have on with your hair in a pony tail.

"Wow... you look stunning babe" he says blushing. "Thank you kiego" you say blushing as well. You both leave and head to the restaurant. Once you are there the staff seat you and bring a bottle of wine. "Oh sir I don't drink thank you though" he says pushing the bottle away. "You sure you don't want any?" You asks. "No love I'm good you enjoy yourself" he says smiling. Impressed you start talking to him about how he's been and how work is. Come to think of it you haven't seen him even look at a drop of alcohol since that night. After a while he grabs your hand and looks into your eyes. "I miss you y/n and I miss ember" he says kissing your hand gently. "We miss you too kiego" you say softly. "I've been thinking a lot and would it be too forward of me to ask if I could stay over tonight?" He asks putting his head down a bit waiting to be rejected again. You have seen his efforts and he really has gotten better. Plus I really do miss him. You think to yourself blushing a bit. "You can come home kiego" you say shyly. His face lit up and he rested his forehead on your hand in relief. "Thank god..." he says as a single tear falls down his face. "C-can I kiss you y/n?" He asks. You grab his blazer and your lips crash onto each other's. You pull away blushing and ask him to take them home. He happily complies and after paying they head home.

As soon as they open the door you pull him into another kiss but this one more aggressive. His wings puff up a bit as things heat up. He takes his blazer off and pulls you close to him deepening your kiss. He pushed your back against the wall sliding his hand up your dress and grabbing your ass. You moans into the kiss at his touch and his mouth slowly moved down to your jawline then neck. Your moans are light as your hands rubs on his arms. "Can I please take you baby? It's been so long and I think I might lose my mind." He asks desperately. "Please kiego" you moan. He picks your up with your legs around his waist and walks you upstairs to the bedroom. He kicks open the door and places you on the bed with him between your legs. His mouth attacking your neck desperately searching for your voice. As your hands feel all over one another his head trails down to your panties and he licks your clit through the fabric making your body tingle a bit. "Don't tease me baby... please, I really need it" you say squirming. He smirks "As you wish baby" and slides your panties to the side and he begins to devour you. "Fuck~!” You moan as you tug on his hair a bit from the pleasure but also trying to show resistance. You use your hand to muffle your moans but this made him stop completely. He looks up at you with feral eyes. "I haven't touched you in over 6 months baby... move that fucking hand and let me hear you." He growls at you. His eyes even looked different as if he was truly an animal And you were his prey. You do as your told and slowly move your hand. He wastes no time going back to his meal. His hands now gripping your thighs to keep you in place as he slides his tongue inside you. "K-kiego ngh yes baby~" you moan loudly  as you squirm under him.

He repeatedly moves his muscle in that motion and slurping you up as he pulled out. "I fucking missed you dove... your taste is even more delicious" he groans as he gently sucks on your clit. Your hips buck into his mouth as pleasure consumes you making you feel like melting into him. Minutes went by like this as you’re edged closer and closer. His mouth creating lewd noises as you gush over and over again. But soon to feel a tremendous pressure in the pit of your soul. Your moans slowly becoming whimpers. "I can feel it baby... cum for me dove" he groans as he laps at your throbbing pussy. Your breathing becoming quite heavy as he worked for your juices. "I-I I'm cumming  ki- fuuuck" you moan wildly as he laps up your cum faster than it can come out of you. He suddenly takes one of his feathers making it sharp and cuts off both of your clothes before he lines himself up with your pussy. He shoves himself completely inside you unexpectedly causing you to cum again. Your mind melting as you clentch hard around him. He looks at you and leans down to your face. "Did my baby just cum from me putting it in?" He smirks. You nod shaking as your hands wrap around his neck. Without another word you kiss him deeply as he starts thrusting into your tight pussy. "I-I'm so sorry baby I can't control myself" he growls as he then pulls out of you and aggressively flips you on all fours and shoving himself back into you. You cry out in pleasure as he pounds into you at inhumane speeds. His hand digging into your hip and the other gripping your arm behind your back. You feel another climax close as your skin collides over and over again.

Feeling you grip him tighter he slows down a bit but slams into you as hard as he can again and again. "Yes! Yes! Yes baby aaahhh Break me!!!!" You cry out and after a few thrusts like that you begin to squirt all over the bed. He stops amazed at what just happened. "Damn baby... I didn't know you could do that" he says blushing. You couldn't speak just moan and pant. "Let's try that again shall we?" Flipping you on you back and lifting your hips to meet his while you upper body still on the bed. "This time I wanna see it" he says licking his lips. He slides back in and goes at it like he never left. He loved the way you looked right now. Feral and completely destroyed because of him. He drools at the sight of your wet pussy being filled by him, by the way your breasts bounced harshly because of his thrusting. Your completely a mess under him barely being about to say anything besides incoherent words and whimpers. Soon you feel that strange sensation again as you neared another orgasm. "Ki! Aahh daddy~" you cry out as you grip his thighs. "Do it baby!" He moans and with that you being to squirt all over his lower stomach, cock and legs. This time much more intense as your mind went hazy for a few moments. He doesn't stop though and thrusts into a few more times before slowing down and running his hand on your stomach. "I think it's time we gave ember a sibling~" he moans. Your eyes weakly looked at his and all you could do was smile. He thrusts into you one final time as his shoots his cum deep in your womb. "God b-baby you feels so good" he moans as his cock twitches inside your throbbing pussy. You both catch your breath before cleaning up the bed and yourselves before falling asleep.

The next morning the sun beams through the room as you wake up. Kiego sleeping peacefully next to you. You kept thinking about last night blushing from what he said about giving ember a sibling. "Well if that's true then maybe I should help him out achieving that goal" you think to yourself smirking. You knew he was a heavy sleeper so you crawl between his legs and slipped his boxers off. You grab his already hard cock and slowly pump him causing his muscles to jump a bit. After a few pumps you slowly lick around the tip and suck on it softly. He moans in his sleep and his breathing pattern become irregular. You then smirk and shove him completely in your throat quickly and wastes not a moment deep throating him. He wakes up moaning loudly pulling back the blanket staring at you with a red face. "B-baby what ahh~" his moans not allowing him to speak properly. You ignore him and climb on top slowly sinking yourself down on him. His head falling back into the bed from the pleasure. You roll your hips into his instead of bouncing making both of you moan aloud. You pull him back up and wrap your hands around his neck while he’s gripping your waist. His mouth sucking on your neck harshly leaving marks everywhere his tongue danced. "I'm so close baby~" he moans into you and he thrusts into you. You throw your body back and grip his thighs as you bounce on his cock forcing your skin to slap against his own.

His grip tightens as he nears his climax. Your pace quickens as you chase your own climax as well. "Feels s-so good daddy~" you moan into the air as you clench around him. "Shit dove I-I'm gunna cum" he moans as sweat beads on his forehead. "Fill me up d-daddy. I want it deep inside~" you moan as you cum hard on his cock. He fucks you back harder and soon after he feels himself about to cum. "Fuck yes baby! Mmmmph shiiit~" he growls as his cum fills you deep. You lean forward keeping him inside you and kiss him passionately. He grabs the back of your head deepening the kiss slipping his tongue in. He pulls back and looks into your wild eyes panting. "What's gotten into you?" He says. "You said you wanted to give ember a sibling so I thought I'd help you out" you say smirking. He laughs a bit before kissing you again. "Then let's spend the day making sure we achieve that goal. What do you say love?" He says as he gets hard again still inside you making you moan. "Yes daddy" you say.

[3elphie]

let go ; oikawa tooru

→ pairing: oikawa x reader

→ summary: you are tired of oikawa’s bullshit

→ genre: angst!!! and fluff if you close your eyes shut

→ for more of my works click here!

→ author’s note: OUCHIE this was lowk for his bday ngl... but i am posting oikawa fluff on his bday so do not worry my loves! and by the way the slanted words in the beginning are flashbacks :0

what you felt right now bothered you immensely.

you regretted holding on to him. sure, you and oikawa had good moments in your relationship, teeth rotting moments. those are what kept you going. ever since december, you’ve been in and out of arguments. it goes three ways,

1. he pretends it doesn’t happen, and completely ignores the problem. that’s his way of fixing the problem.

you missed school. took a break for a day. you didn’t want to see him after the huge argument you had yesterday you were tired of fixing. 

you get a text from oikawa after school had ended.

babyboy : why weren’t you at school today?

you : ... i was sick.

babyboy : awh, i’ll come over with food and medicine. wait for me, okay?

you : thanks babe, i love you so much.

you were a bit disappointed he didn’t address the problem. but, at least you didn’t have to cry about the argument. it was ‘fixed’.

2. you pretend you were at fault for the argument. you really weren’t, but you knew his pride was too big. your way of fixing the problem.

“why were you hanging out with iwaizumi so much during lunch?” oikawa says, clearly annoyed. 

“we always play volleyball at the court, but today i couldn’t find you.” he sighs.

“it was his birthday today, oikawa.” you were confused, if anything oikawa should be spending the day with iwaizumi.

“that’s not an excuse, are you just a little whore who wants both me and iwaizumi? gosh.” your eyes open at the words, you jumped a bit at his tone.

you sigh, “sorry baby, i didn’t mean to. i won’t do it again.”

“good.” he goes back to studying the volleyball match.

3. you don’t fix the problem. that’s the position you were in right now.

“why does it seem like you don’t love me anymore.” oikawa says, in the middle of the night. you knew you had it coming. oikawa had been silent, leading to you doing the same.

“you barely contribute to the conversations we have, and fawn over anime boys. you know i can’t be like them right?” he let it out. you laughed in your head, he’s blaming me. ‘ah shit, here we go again’ you thought in your head.

“oikawa, i never knew you felt like that. why didn’t you tell me sooner?” you were being hypocritical. you should’ve told him you’ve been feeling like this for the past five months.

“i’ve given you so much chances,” you are amused by the words coming out of his mouth. in reality, you were the one who gave him the chances. all the terrible things he did to you, you concealed for the sake of you both.

“i’m so sorry, i’ve treated you so badly. i don’t deserve you.” you say the words you desperately wish he could’ve said to you, but never did. 

“i’m so tired of you.” oikawa sighed and left, without saying goodbye. you finally let out a bitter smile. was he the one stayin up all night waiting for a message from you? no, you did that. was he the one who asked you to come over? no, you did that. you thought your eyebags and puffy eyes showed you’d had enough of his bullshit.

it all feels numb. doesn’t hurt anymore. the tears that fell out your eyes were just drops of water that had no purpose.

you wanted this to last so bad, so fucking bad. he gave you all your happiness, and you loved him oh so dearly. could you say the same for him though? no, you couldn’t. 

going into the relationship, you were ecstatic. you didn’t think you were very pretty, to say the least. he’d be better off with one of your other friends. but, he choose you.

he says he’s so tired of it, so why hasn’t he broken it up yet? he’s just waiting there, thinking you’ll send him another message he can leave on read just like he did to the 8 messages you sent this morning. damn that big ego’d king. he was a king, and you were his slave. you gave him love as if you were giving him gold. he stated would split the gold with you. no fake gold.

but that was a lie. all just fucking lies. you knew you loved him more he did you. he most likely just came into the relationship because he felt lonely. but, you felt even lonelier in the relationship than you did out of it.

did you really waste all your time on him? you were disappointed in yourself. wasted all the times to speak your side of the story, just for the sake of the relationship. what a worthless effort you put in. now you’re stuck here. why did you have to pretend to be the bad guy. you should’ve knew, the fact you had to do that told the truth.

while you were doing all this thinking. what was he doing? who did he have lunch with? who did he spend all his time with even though you hadn’t broken up yet? not disappointed, you already see him flirting with another girl.

after days with this weight on your shoulders, weight that was not full of sadness, but a weight that told you you needed to fix this the only way it could be. you gather everything he gave you, with a box he gave you for your tenth anniversary. and you made a letter.

dear tooru oikawa,

           i love you so much, too much to let go. but after recent events, i think i need to let go. i’m glad you have someone else on your mind already, i really hope you’re happy without me. yes, i think you can tell i’m breaking up with you. such a cheesy way to do it, i know. i think you know how cheesy i can get.

           but, that’s not all. i have more things to say. i know it might be hard to process, because you can’t understand anything i say that makes you seem like the bad guy. i hurt too. you think i haven’t cried endlessly, every fucking night, just because of you. a scumbag like you. i’ve always had to pretend to be the bad guy, just to make this last. but my this, and your this is different. we were both bad guys oikawa. but what pains me the most, is not the fact that this is ending. it is the fact if you didn’t think you were so high and mighty, this could’ve worked. nonetheless, i hope it works out with her. by the way, never fucking speak to me again. thanks.

                                                                                                  love, f/n l/n.

in this box, you put his hoodie, shirt, cologne, and the half assed letters he gave you. with the letter taped to the top, like cherry on top of an ice cream sundae. 

you drive over to his house, knocking on his door. he opens it, with a shocked look on his face.

“what do you wan-” you stopped him from speaking, you didn’t want to hear him. 

“i have two things to say.” you take a deep breath,

“i love you,” he scoffs at your words.

“yeah righ-” you stop him again.

“and fuck you.” with that you gave him the box, and left him standing there, it felt so good, but so bad. he looked at you, driving away into the fog that clouded the area. he knew it was coming as well, but he didn’t think he would be the one left crying about it. you finally let go.

[bikkinibottom]

Can’t Walk Without You

Here’s a little something I wrote to celebrate 100 followers! I got the idea based off of this post here.

This is my first time writing fanfic so I’d love for some feedback! Hope you all enjoy it!

Summary: It’s the 90’s and Percy makes mixtapes for Annabeth. She listens to them when she misses him.

She took it with her everywhere now, constantly listening to whichever song that played through the Walkman. It got to the point where even if she was having a conversation or in a meeting, the headphones rested around her neck playing music just loud enough for her to still hear and whoever happened to be right next to her. Some may call it rude, but people knew to never question Annabeth, especially with everything going on now.

Annabeth remembers the first mixtape Percy had made for her when they were fourteen. It was not too long after the battle on Mount Othrys where Percy and the group had rescued her and the goddess Artemis from Luke’s imprisonment. She smiles fondly too herself as she remembers the encounter with Percy:

Christmas was just around the corner and Annabeth begrudgingly decided to spend the holiday with her family in San Francisco. Percy and she had agreed to meet up to exchange gifts at Half-Blood Hill before she left. She stood near the Big House, which was adorned in colorful holiday lights, waiting for him. Behind her led to where the cabins were, the hearth at the center of the U-shaped formation seemed to glow brighter than ever, warm and inviting just like a fireplace at Christmas-time should be. The sky was clear save for a few clouds, the constellations piercing and bright. Fresh snow lay all over camp, some of the year-rounders just beginning to take advantage of the fresh snowfall. She looked up to see Percy approaching her, his ears looked pink without a hat on from what she could tell in the dim light.

‘Seaweed Brain’ she thought, thinking of the winter hat she knit him for his gift. It was a simple beanie that was baby blue, with one black stripe cutting across.

“Took you long enough. I got a flight to catch tomorrow, Seaweed Brain,” she jokingly said to him.

Clearly something else was occupying his mind because the scowl he attempted to make wasn’t sincere and looked more like fond exasperation. Annabeth tried not to look too into it.

He stopped walking and begun to turn around dramatically.

“Well if you’re gonna have that attitude about it I’ll just be on my-” but Annabeth cut him off with a laugh and shoved his arm.

“Come on, Percy. I’ve been waiting for this,” she told him with a bit of mock irritation in her voice.

“You have?” the boy before her asked timidly. And for the first time that night, Annabeth noticed Percy actually looked anxious for whichever reason she could not figure out yet. His eyes looked more of a golden from the reflection of the Christmas lights shining off the Big House.

Annabeth looked away from his eyes as she casually said, “Duh, we’re exchanging gifts. It’s like the best part of the holiday season,” though she wasn’t too sure of her response seeing the gloomy expression take over his face.

Percy looked away as he let out a simple, “Right.”

Not wishing to dampen the mood on what was supposed to be a pleasant occasion, Annabeth quickly asks, “Do you want to go first?”

“Uh, I- no. You go first,” he responded quickly as well.

Annabeth presented him with his gift bag filled with sea-green tissue paper and he dug around in it until he pulled out the gift card she had gotten him. He flipped it over to see what it was for and he smiled appreciatively.

“That’s the skate store you go to a lot right? The one by your apartment?” she asked just to double-check and make sure.

“Yeah! I- Thanks Annabeth,” he told her genuinely then paused. “Uh, how much is on it?”

“A hundred dollars,” she replied.

His eyes seemed to pop out of his head before he stuttered for the next few seconds. Annabeth just looked at him with a confused but amused smile on her face.

“This- this is more than enough for a whole new skateboard. I- I don’t think I can accept this,” he blurted out in shock.

“Skateboards are expensive. I thought that was a good amount,” she said matter-of-factly. Annabeth had briefly forgotten that Percy and his mom didn’t have a whole lot, meanwhile, her family was more than well off and Annabeth could afford to splurge on her friends.

“There’s another gift in the bag,” she pointed out.

He gave her an incredulous look before digging around in the bag. He pulled out the beanie wrapped in a layer of tissue paper and unwrapped it. He held out the hat in front of him with a neutral expression.

“You hardly ever wear a hat, let alone own a proper winter one so I figured you could use a nice one. I made it myself,” she said, her voice laced with pride. It had taken her a couple of tries to knit a hat before she managed to perfect it. Athena wasn’t the goddess of crafts for nothing. Annabeth was proud of her handiwork.

“You made this?” he asked softly. The tender look in his eyes made Annabeth’s face a little warm but she nodded genuinely.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Annabeth said. “It’s your turn.”

“O- oh. Right.” Percy cleared his throat and placed the gift bag on the snowy ground with his presents inside. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a card with a smaller rectangular box attached to it. Annabeth didn’t know what the box could be seeing as it was wrapped but she opened the card and read it to herself first.

The card itself didn’t have many words and with the low-lighting, she couldn’t exactly make it out with her dyslexia. But underneath the message of the card, she noticed Percy’s chicken scratch hand-writing where he wrote out in Ancient Greek, ‘Hope you have a good new year. Merry Christmas, Wise Girl. Your friend, Percy’.

She smiled up at him and gave him a sweet thank you.

“Um, the uh, the gift. I made it myself. I don’t know if you’ll like it but um, if you give it back I understand. It’s kind of lame, actually-” Percy stammered out, and she could tell the red on his face wasn’t coming from the Christmas lights. With a roll of her eyes, she tore open the wrapping and was presented with a cassette player. Written on one side in Percy’s hand-writing it said: ‘Songs I Think You’ll Like (vol. 1)’.

“It’s a mixtape,” Percy blurted out, “I was thinking about how we’ve barely ever talked about music so I put a bunch of songs I figured you’d like. You can listen to it whenever you want.”

Annabeth was at a loss for words. Picturing Percy in his room toiling with the radio on, waiting for hours for the right song to come on to record, or maybe using some of Sally’s old records to record music from... It was a little too much for Annabeth.

Impulsively she jumped towards Percy, wrapping her arms around his neck in a quick hug. Backing away she looked him in the eyes.

“Thank you, I love it,” she told him. At that point, she didn’t need a mirror to know that both their faces were red now.

“Really?” he asked, relief in his voice and body language.

“Yes, I can’t wait to listen to it,” she answered genuinely.

A goofy smile broke out onto his face and Annabeth felt herself smiling as well. After talking for a bit more, they eventually said their goodbyes and parted ways.

As Annabeth boarded the plane the next morning, she had a brand new Walkman stuffed in her pocket that she had bought as soon as she left the campgrounds last night. She couldn’t wait to listen to it on the plane.

Recalling the memory brought a melancholy smile to her face, but it was very dim. Annabeth remembers how nearly every month after that she received a mixtape from Percy in the mail, each with a different purpose but all equally good. When they had started dating, the music became a lot more romantic and he would gift her one at each monthly anniversary. She would’ve received a new mixtape soon for their five-month anniversary, but now he was missing and Annabeth wasn’t sure if she’d ever get to hear it. The thought made her chest ache painfully, and she blinked back tears.

Rolling onto her back in her bunk, Annabeth thought back to the events of the day and let out a frustrated sigh. Just when she finally had some type of lead to where her boyfriend might be, she was met with three demigods at the Grand Canyon with more questions than answers. Not to mention her least favorite goddess seemed to be involved in all of this somehow. Realizing she needed to get actual sleep tonight if she was going to leave early in the morning to search for Percy, the daughter of Athena put on her invisibility cap, grabbed her Walkman, and snuck out of Cabin 6 to head over to Cabin 3.

Inhaling the ocean scent that Poseidon’s cabin had, Annabeth made her way over to Percy’s dresser, where he always kept extra clothes. Grabbing one of his hoodies, she put it on and laid down in Percy’s bunk. It wasn’t the biggest secret amongst her siblings that she would often sneak out to his cabin at night but since he went missing she made it her new unassigned sleeping quarters.

If the bed weren’t cold, Annabeth could almost imagine Percy there with her. Surrounding herself in his ocean breeze scent helped put her to sleep but there was some dull ache lingering inside her tonight. It was as if there was nothing inside her; her heart, her lungs, everything just- gone. Instead, a dark void seemed to eat at her from the inside out, and all of her senses felt numb.

Putting on her headphones and pressing play on the Walkman, her favorite cassette plays out. Once they’d started dating, Percy gave her this one and told her the songs sounded a bit like the one they had danced to on Olympus all those years ago. She recalls Percy telling her that to him the song sounded a bit sad, but a little hopeful too.

Annabeth cries herself to sleep that night.

[cryoculus]

More love for Semi please? Anything will do, your writing is exquisite in any form anyway :D

» Word Count: 1,857 wordsCross-posted on AO3

SORRY THIS IS SO LATE :(( I actually wrote three chapters’ worth of content for him already and you can read the whole thing on the ao3 link.(NOTE: This is based on the current events of the final arc of the Haikyuu manga. I tagged it as a spoiler but I won’t really go into the specifics of what’s going on. Semi is our main focus here ^__^)

—

“Please?”

“No,” was your flat reply.

Semi heaved a long sigh, mouth twitching into an irritated grimace. You returned his reaction with a sassy look of your own—one, finely penciled brow quirked as bright, red lips rivalled the adamance that Semi brought about. While you were in no position to tell him to just go back to his cubicle and get today’s work done (you, sadly, held the same position in office), you at least had the right to turn him down. Your department had a monthly financial report coming up. Why on Earth did he want your help writing a song?

“Come on,” he groaned. “You know I’d eat my fist first before asking for your help, but our manager really digs your old pieces from college.”

Your eye twitched.

“Way to beg for someone’s aid in a time of dire need,” you bit back sarcastically. “Go do it then.”

“What?”

“Eat your whole fist.” You gave him a pointed look, even making a show of paying attention by putting your pen down.

Your co-worker let out a frustrated groan, fingers carding through his messy, ashen hair. The gesture made the tattoos on his chest visible for a second, before disappearing again behind his barely done button-up. It was a mystery, how a man like him made it as a public servant—with his flamboyant piercings and tip-dyed hair—but you supposed you should learn to look past physical appearances. The agency allowed it, so why should you make a fuss?

Ah, right. Semi Eita was the most hot-headed man in your department, and he had a knack for picking fights with you.

“If you get the balance sheet done by five o'clock, I might reconsider,” you told him, not really meaning the words, as you directed your attention back at the paperwork on your desk. Balance sheets are the toughest to fill out, since the data needed had to be collated from different sectors of the city. You highly doubted that Semi, with his thinner-than-a-strand-of-hair patience, could finish it in one sitting.

“Deal.”

Your gaze hardened as you looked back up at him. “Come again?”

“Are you deaf?” he asked, folding lean arms across his chest. “I said it’s a deal.”

You couldn’t help the snort that made its way past your lips. Whatever his reasons may be, it was painfully obvious that he was desperate. But still. You knew that he wouldn’t be able to carry out the deed in your given deadline, but instead of talking him out of his own agreement, you merely shook your head in acceptance.

Semi eventually stalked off to his cubicle; the one just in front of yours. There was a divider that separated each employee’s workspace from the others, and it at least granted some semblance of privacy from outside gazes. You’ve been to Semi’s cubicle a couple of times—more to coordinate paperwork than engage in conversation, really—and he decorated his personal space exactly how a part-time rock band vocalist would. Though he didn’t exactly put up posters and painted the walls black, he added his own flair to his desk with guitar figurines, neon stickers on his desktop, and a photo of his bandmates enclosed in a sparkly picture frame.

The only reason you bothered looking so closely was the fact that you also went to the same university together (under the same degree, too!) You’ve always been keen around him, with his loud way of living, as opposed to you, who’s always chosen to live simply and without pretentiousness. Sure, the disparity between your lifestyles had caused you to be at each other’s throats since freshman year, but it was still a surprise that your synergy was top notch. You would, as Semi put it so delicately, eat your fist first before admitting to the fact, but it’s a given that you preferred to work with him instead of other, unfamiliar people.

You sighed, brandishing a bored look at the bleak document in front of you. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to help him out…

But when you recalled every time he’s talked over you during board meetings, sneered at you when he got a higher score during exams, and his distateful behavior in general, you steeled your resolve.

Either he’s going to get that balance sheet over with or he’ll keel over. If he wanted your help, he’s going to have to work for it.

—

You were in the middle of fixing your belongings when the sound of a stack of papers hitting your desk rang in your ears.

“There,” Semi said breathlessly, making you look up at him in surprise. He even tossed a flash drive on top of the papers he deposited, where you saw the city hall’s heading printed in full color. You reluctantly checked your phone for the time. 16:57, it said, in a mockingly bold typeface before shoving it in your pocket.

The damn guy really did get it done before five.

“The electronic document is saved in there, in case you lose the print.” He was panting at this point, and you had a vague idea as to why he looked like he just ran a marathon. The one printer in your department (this year’s budget was cut) broke down a few days ago, and the nearest functional one was at the Logistics office three floors down.

Still refusing to believe it, you peered at the documents he just brought in. You scanned each of the entries printed on each page. That’s when you realized that Sendai City’s expenses have skyrocketed since the new year because the list of expenses occupied a whole page alone. A worried sigh made its way past your lips, but at least the liabilities were cut down to a minimum. You heard that the governor of Miyagi was going to pledge a few hundred thousand yen for the city’s founding anniversary, too.

You paused. Blinking, you rearranged the papers neatly back into its pile—biting back the urge to clutch your wounded pride. Semi was looking at you expectantly, like he wanted you to praise his flawless bookkeeping.

In actuality, his determination was beginning to freak you out.

“Why do you want me to help you so badly?” you asked, voice almost trembling. “Seriously, dude. I thought we hated each other. Quit acting out of character.”

“I told you, our manager really liked the songs you composed back in senior year,” he drawled, tired of having to repeat himself.

Your face twisted in confusion. “Who even is this manager of yours?”

There was a half-second delay in his response, but before you could paint a reason for his hesitation, he immediately replied with, “Saito. Saito Makoto.”

You stiffened, gaze going rigid at the mention of that name. “Oh.”

“Yeah. If I manage to give him a piece by the end of the month, he’ll help us sign a contract with a big-shot record label,” Semi explained, oblivious to your discomfort.

“But haven’t you been writing songs since high school?” you wondered aloud. “That’s what you said during our Pol-Gov class ice breaker.”

He frowned. “You still remember that?”

Okay. You kept forgetting that your sharp memory wasn’t always a praiseworthy thing. You gulped, feeling the heat creep up your face. “Um, anyway, the point still stands. You’ve been writing songs for God-knows-how-long, and while I’m not one to dish out compliments especially to you, I’m pretty sure they’re okay if you managed to gather a decent fanbase.”

He rolled his eyes, leaning against the divider of your cubicle. “We’re a rock band. I write rock songs, but Saito wants me to write a goddamn love song.”

Typical Saito. Though he looked like a rugged high school delinquent, he was awfully sentimental when it came to music. He was the one who inspired you to write the songs Semi was pestering you about all day after all…

“Fine,” you relented. “I never go back on my word and since you did a…good job with this, I’ll help you out.”

His light brown eyes lit up for a moment, but Semi managed to mask his relief in a split second—containing his excitement in a single nod. “Are you free this Saturday? You can come by my place and we could start getting to work.”

Well, that was forward of him. You expected to work on the song in a coffee shop or something, but he went on ahead and invited you to his own humble abode anyway. You parsed through your weekend plans in your mind, and once you confirmed that you were free, you scribbled down your phone number on a sticky note. Almost five years of acquaintance and you’d never bothered giving it to him. Huh.

“Just text me the time and place,” you told him, pocketing the flash drive as you slipped the balance sheet in one of the empty folders in your organizer. “You better not pull anything funny and lead me to a secluded alley or something.”

Semi scoffed, folding the piece of paper and sticking it inside his trousers. “As if.”

You then slung your bag across your shoulders, grinning insincerely. “Glad we’re on the same page, then.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

With that, Semi exited your cubicle, leaving you no room to wonder why he didn’t even spare a quick ‘thank you’.

Just as you were smoothing out the creases on your pencil skirt, your phone began buzzing in the pocket of your blazer. Brows raised, you fished it out and unlocked it.

From: Makohey, wanna grab some dinner? its on me :3

Speak of the devil. You swallowed the lump in your throat, fingers shakily managing to type a coherent reply.

To: MakoYeah sure. Where to tho

From: Makocan we get some italian? ik u love the udon place across the street but akane’s having dinner w her friends there

From: Makocant have her seeing us together now do we

The way he put that so casually made your chest constrict with a too-familiar sensation. You heaved a deep breath, pursing your lips into a thin line as you sent a quick “Ok” text to end your conversation. Saito replied with those iffy heart-eyed emojis that he only ever used when he wanted something from you, and you had to compose yourself so you wouldn’t burst into tears right there.

“Oi.”

You almost jumped at the sound of Semi’s voice as he peered inside your cubicle once more. He clutched his suitcase in one hand, eyeing you curiously.

“What do you want?”

“You’re headed uptown, too, right?” he asked, and you nodded reluctantly. “Thought you’d want a lift.”

“Semi, just because I’m helping you achieve your dreams, doesn’t mean you have to be nice to me.” You laughed softly, tension easing from his uncalled for kindness.

He, however, looked unconvinced. “Do you want a ride or not?”

You raised your hands in defeat, managing a genuine smile. “Alright, fine. It’ll be a hellish commute anyway.”

You liked to think that that’s how you started becoming friends with your odd, hot-headed co-worker.

[damndaehyung]

the big moments

himym au part 1 included: daniel,tara,mark, tyler, m, jane, minah, sungjae mentioned : oliver, ella, milo, astrid, minjae

2033

To the surprise of many Daniel Choi was a punctual guy, if he was given at least 3 hours notice he would arrive with time to spare. Right now all he could think as he walked into McLaren’s pub, a place that housed some of his fondest memories, was he wished he came late or better yet didn’t come at all because the only two people currently sat at the gang’s booth was Tara Lee and her husband Mark. He briefly contemplated turning around and sprinting down the busy New York street but stopped when Mark called out his name waving him over.

Damn it, Yang.

Swallowing his fear and admittedly his pride he walked over to the booth. It was one thing to deal with Tara and Mark, the disgustingly in love couple with their evil adorable daughter. The poster children for long-distance couples who managed to make it work, Tara a New York-based novelist, her popular young adult series was still in the New York’s Best Seller list despite been released 5 years ago and Mark, a kpop superstar turned music juggernaut, somehow despite their various engagements and time spent apart they couple never wavered. Unlike Daniel’s own marriage which fell apart at the first sign of distance - something, he isn’t bitter about at all, thank you very much.

The worst thing about being stuck with Tara and Mark was that he was stuck with his ex-sister-in-law and her husband who put in any awkward situations turned into a blubbering mess who spilled more words than a dictionary. At this point, Daniel would rather be stuck with his ex-husband then deal with Tara’s knowing eyes and Mark’s idle chit chat.

“A rare Choi spotting in New York? Quick Tara go buy a lotto ticket miracles are happening,” Mark joked as he slid into the seat across from them.

“Rare? His faces on buses Mark,” Tara said with a playful eye roll.

“But a live Daniel Choi in the wilderness? How much did Sungjae pay you to show up?” Mark continued the joke as Daniel waved at the bartender signalling for his usual, Lou who apparently was ageless and still worked here nodded.

“Don’t worry about it Mark you’d never be able to afford me,” Daniel laughed. “But on a serious note where is everyone? Is my watch way too fast or something?” He said looking at his watch with a frown. He was pretty sure it was set correctly and the text said McLaren’s at quarter to two, it was currently twenty to two.

“Interesting choice of wrist attire,” Tara commented. Daniel flushed, the watch was a birthday gift from Tyler of course. If anyone asked he’d feign naivety claiming he just put it on but the truth was he almost always wore it. “And I can’t speak on everyone but Ty’s dropping Oli off at our mothers,” Tara said.

Normally the mere mention of his former mother in law would make Daniel grimace but Tara had said the magic word. Oli. Despite being his ex-husband’s love child with some random woman he did not remember the name of Oliver Lee was a perfect baby who somehow managed to carve out his own space in Daniel’s heart.

  “It’s a shame we are meeting here,” Daniel said just as Lou decided to bring his drink over, slamming the glass down with a glare. “BECAUSE CHILDREN AREN'T ALLOWED IN HERE GEEZ!” he yelled out trying to make sure at least his favourite bartender didn’t hate him.

“Do my eyes deceive me or is the same guy who said Milo looked like a shrivelled up prune when he was born now upset about a four-year-old not being here?” Mark said, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you were strictly anti-children,” he teased.

“I am not anti-children, I am not a monster -” Daniel huffed. “I just not particularly child-orientated and don’t bring that up again, Jane, wouldn’t talk to me for a month and when she did talk to me, the things she said,” Daniel paused to shudder. “I couldn’t sleep for months Yang, months!”

“Yeah, most people don’t like it when you insult their children, weird huh?” Tara laughed. “But no Oli won’t be joining us,” Tara said tilting her head. “You know it’s odd how the only time we see you is when it’s related to Oliver, you never came to any of Ella’s birthday parties? Are we all not friends?” Tara asked, taking a sip out of her wine.

Daniel bit his tongue, Daniel wouldn’t know if he would classify them all as friends, not anymore, after the divorce Daniel pretty much removed himself from the group and in Tara’s case after Tyler and himself announced that they were getting divorced Tara, the protective sister, didn’t hold back on what she thought of Daniel. “Ella’s birthday just happens to fall in a busy month,” he said shrugging. “Plus she has so many aunts and uncles my presence is hardly necessary.”

“I’d believe you if you actually showed up for Milo’s or Charlie’s or Astrid’s or Minjae’s -” Mark listed as Tara nodded victoriously beside him. God, he hated loved couples who were always on the same side. “I am beginning to think you might be playing favourites.”

“I have favourites? Never,” Daniel said with an eye roll. “Anyway, what have you two been up to? You know apart from picking on me,” he said.

“But it’s our favourite habit next to picking on Tyler,” Mark said with a laugh. “But Nah I’ve just been working on some new music, this one and her mini-me,” he bumping Tara lightly, “are trying to get me to write a children’s book but i am pretty sure there is only one novelist in this family,” he grinned.

“And I keep telling him that he is being silly,” Tara said with her own eye roll. “I am working on a new novel, i am trying my hand at a crime novel… my google searches have never looked more questionable,” she laughed.

“Don’t worry i am sure it still looks more normal than Tyler’s,” Daniel joked before realizing what he had just said. “I mean -” he trailed, it had just come so natural to him that he forgot he wasn’t supposed to say things like that anymore.

“Maybe in the old days but i am pretty sure his searches are related to how to raise Oli, that suits and Gucci, he has got boring in his old age,” Tara said with an eye roll. “Speaking of the old man,” she said nodding to the entry where Tyler and Jane and M were walking in.

“You were talking about me, I can tell,” Tyler said as they came over to the booth squeezing into the booth next to her. Tara grinned at him, zipping her lips. Tyler glared at her before he turned his attention to Mark. “Yang,” he said nodding before turning to Daniel. “Oh hey Daniel,” he said awkwardly, “I didn’t know you were coming,” he said smoothing out his suit. “How have you been?” he asked.

Daniel opened his mouth to open but was stopped by Jane. “No no we are not just glossing over the fact Daniel showed up,” she said as she slid into the booth beside him, “Squeeze over,” she said poking his side, Daniel sighed moving so he was effectively right up against the wall so M could get into the booth.

“Tara and Mark have gone over that in great detail,” Daniel said. “So maybe we could -”

“Oh hell no,” Jane scoffed. “Mark and Tara might have had their fun but we still have at least five shots to take at you before we can move on,” she said. “What do you think Supreme Fudge?” she asked, nudging M who stroked his chin.

“Hmm well considering he missed our anniversary dinner five seems fair,” he said. Daniel took another long sip of his drink. Showing up to group hangouts were not really for Daniel anymore, all of them were happy and living their best lives, they had their dream jobs, 6 out of the 7 were happily married and all of them had children, single childless Daniel didn’t really fit in anymore

“You might as well wait for Sungjae and Minah to show up so you can all get it over with together,” Daniel spoke. “Speaking of which does anyone know what this is about? Minah’s not pregnant again surely? They just had Minjae -”

“He is two,” M pointed out.

“And no i don’t think so, Minah would have told me by now,” Jane said.

“Maybe they are moving?” Tara suggested.

“Away from New York? After they just enrolled Astrid and Minjae into Constance’s and St Jude’s respectively - i don’t think so,” Tyler said. “Do you know how hard it is, luckily i am a legacy so Oli just gets in like that,” he said with a click.

“You don’t think they are…. You know getting the D word?” M all but whispered.

“Death?” Daniel said, frowning. “I am somehow don’t think they would be planning -”

“He meant divorce,” Mark said. ‘And i doubt it -”

“We could always just ask Minah who is here by herself,” Jane started her voice dropping when she spotted her best friend on her own. The other’s all shared a look as well. Daniel knew Sungjae and Minah were a happily married couple but surely here showing up on her own wasn’t a big deal, maybe she had gone shopping or he was with their children?

“You are all here,” Minah said surprised. “Good, that’s great, really great, great,” she said, nodding sound like she was trying to convince herself.

“Say it one more time and we might believe you,” Tara joked. It was an inside the group shared but Minah just smiled weakly as she dragged a chair over. “Okay,” Tara said uncomfortably. “ is everything -” she started to say as Minah shook her head.

“Please just let me speak,” Minah said, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply before exhaling. “Okay in about 5 minutes Sungjae will be here so when he gets here I would appreciate it if you could all pretend we haven’t already had this conversation -” she said. No one said anything but M did make a noise of protest. “RIght where to start?” she asked herself. “Well recently I’ve been feeling unwell -”

“Oh my god, you are pregnant?” Tyler said. “How did Daniel of all pick it? No offence just -”

“No, i am not pregnant,” Minah cut him off, “I really wish i was or i could be again but no I am just sick,” she said her voice cracking as she spoke. It was like that one statement had just sucked the life out of the room. Everyone stared at Minah waiting for her to continue, beside him Jane was shaking her head muttering no.

“It’s just a flu right Minah,” Jane asked, Daniel had to applaud her dedication to ignoring reality. Minah silence was a loud enough answer for Jane to start sobbing, M pulled her close as Daniel patted her back lightly.

“How bad - “ Mark started to ask but stopped when Minah shook her head.

“And you can’t fight it?” Tyler asked. “Between us all, we can find the best doctors in New York”

“In the world,” Tara added.

“Guys -” She started to speak.

“It’s too late,” Daniel finished for her. Minah looked at him perhaps surprised he guessed it.

“No, it’s not,” Jane snapped. “You and Tyler might be fine with giving up on things when it gets rough but Minah is going to -” she started before looking at Minah who was looking at her sadly. “I can’t be here right now - I need to,” she said standing up pushing past M and running into the women’s bathroom.

“I should -” Tara said, getting up to follow her.

“No let her be,” M said looking at the bathroom door frowning. “I think she just needs to -” he stopped because he didn’t really know what to say. What could you say when someone just found out her best friend was dying.

“Why are we here Minah?” Tara asked as she sat back down. “And why isn’t Sungjae here? Please tell me he knows you can’t keep this from him,” Tara said.

“He knows, “ Minah said. “I know we have our moments when it comes to communication but i would never keep something like this from him,” she said. “I called you here because I want you to promise me to look after them, Astrid, Minjae and especially Sungjae - he is going to need you more than ever,” she said.

“You don’t need us to promise that,” M said. “We would have done it regardless,” he said to Minah reaching out and grabbing her hand. “We will be here for both of you, whatever you need,” he said. A chorus of yeahs,i agrees and of course followed. Daniel nodded but said nothing, he wasn’t sure what help he could offer here, M and Jane were the best friends, Tara and Mark were the reliable ones, hell even Tyler could contribute more but Daniel was an ex-boyfriend of her husband and a person who never really spent time with her.

“So I take it you told them,” Sungjae said as he walked over. Nobody had realized he had even shown up. Minah nodded standing up and getting pulled into a hug. Soon everyone else was up pulling each other into hugs and giving words of assurance to the couple, even Jane had returned face blotchy and eyes red. Daniel stood awkwardly to the side of the group wishing he could go back in time and stop himself from coming. He promised he’d be here for the big things but he wasn’t ready for that.

[imagine-darksiders]

Hey! My birthday is coming up this week (February 7th to be exact) and I know you did a birthday scenario previously, but I was wondering if maybe you could do a scenario with the Horsemen and a few other characters when their s/o tries to throw them a kind of Birthday party in return because they think they are worth celebrating. Could you make them all super sweet (but especially War's cause he's my favorite

Hey, I’m so sorry I missed your birthday. :’( But I hope this makes up for it. And I hope you got lots of nice presents :p xoxox

War: The horseman gave an almighty start when he walked into your home and you leapt up from behind the sofa shouting, ‘SURPRISE!’ at the top of your lungs. Poor War had only been paying you one of his frequent visits where he came to check up on you. Now, he’s clutching his chest and trying to convince his battle-honed instincts that he is not, in fact, under attack. War eyes you wearily, but you ignore his expression and hurdle the sofa, grabbing his gauntleted hand and tugging him towards the kitchen.. .

With a grunt, War complies, allowing you to drag him into a little room where there’s a table decorated with a violent red cloth. The horseman raises his eyebrow when he spots a cake in the centre. A cake that, for some reason, is on fire. He glances up to the ceiling, where he spots some colourful writing strewn onto square pieces of paper that spell out, ‘T H A N K Y O U   W A R’ in rather gaudy calligraphy. 

War raises an eyebrow down at you, obviously in want of an explanation. You beam up at him, pride, happiness and delight shine clear and bright on your face as you gesture vaguely to the table, clarifying “I just thought you were owed a thanks.” You shrug a shoulder and as his eyebrow raises even higher, you extrapolate. “I mean, you exposed one of the greatest injustices ever inflicted upon mankind, you defeated 5 of the cruellest demons I’ve ever seen, you destroyed the Destroyer…. And, I don’t think anyone’s actually told you how grateful we are. Least of all me.” You mumble the last part, mostly to yourself but War tilts his head curiously down at you when he hears it. He glances between you and the cake for a moment, then he begins to bend his head down towards you, slowly. 

Your smile fades at the sudden increase of his proximity, your eyes widening at the sight of a subtle smirk that’s appeared on the horseman’s lips. He leans closer and closer, until you can feel his hot breath hitting your face and all you can do is stare at the flash of white fang that’s poking through the side of his mouth. War’s face is mere inches from your own when he speaks, “So, humans show their gratitude by….” your eyes flicker up to meet his, “…setting your food on fire?” 

War makes no attempt to hide the teasing smile that pulls his lips apart whilst you gasp in a semi-disappointed breath and smack at his face as he quickly leans up out of reach. You settle for covering your face with both hands, shaking your head and muttering into them, “They’re just candles War…Humans use them on cakes at birthday parties….” Letting out a huff of air, you remove your hands to look up at War, seeing that he’s looking at you far less stolidly and far more kindly. It’s an unusual expression for War to be wearing, but the rarity of such a look makes it all the more pleasant to bear witness to. Throwing him an exasperated smile of your own, you motion towards the cake. “Just blow out your candles, you big tease.” 

War’s head tilts to the side, “For what purpose?” He asks, you can tell he’s being deadly serious with his questioning this time. 

Rolling your eyes, you shrug, telling him “I don’t know, War. It’s just something you’re supposed to do. Some people make a wish, some people scream when the knife hits the bottom. It’s just like, a tradition I guess…”

He blinks slowly after your explanation, glaring down at the cake as though it has some kind of hidden agenda, but finally, he sighs. Leaning down, War sucks in an almighty breath then releases it over the candles, far too aggressively to be necessary but he is a horseman, you reason. War stands back up, snorting down at the cake disdainfully. “That was pointless.” He grumbles. 

“Well, did you make a wish?” You ask, wondering what on earth he’d been expecting the cake to do.

War turns to you, his expression soft once again as he bows his head slightly towards the ground. “I am not usually one for making wishes.” He states, “But, if you must know, I wished for you to always be safe…” 

Your eyebrows nearly fly off your head at his words, disbelief raking across your features. “Wow, War….” you breath, but then smirk up at him, “What a lame wish.” He looks almost offended, so you laugh and carry on, “You could have wished for ultimate power, unlimited Wrath. Instead you wish for that?” Still chuckling to yourself, you reach up to pat him on the shoulder in good humour. Meanwhile, War scowls at your obvious disregard of your own self-worth. 

“Since our time together on the ruined Earth, your safety is all I have wished for.” He states, an air of finality creeping into his voice. You blink rapidly at his words. Oftentimes, War’s intensity and brutal honesty can catch you off guard. Rubbing the back of your neck, you shrug. “Ah, War… Shucks, I-I’d wish the same thing for you, I mean..” You finish lamely, biting your lip as an awkward silence settled over the room. 

“…Anyway!” You start, shaking off any remnants of embarrassment, “Yeah, so this,” you gesture again to the cake, the banner and the room in general, “this is for you. Yup, just wanted to say ‘thanks.’ So……Thanks. ..” 

War’s stoic expression shifts to one of quiet contentment. He hums and murmurs, “You didn’t have to do this you know..” 

Huffing in mock offence, you wag a finger at him playfully, “Ah! You’ve blown out your candles, by right, you’ve already accepted my thanks.” Smiling triumphantly, you punch him lightly on the arm, prompting the horseman to nudge your side gently in return. He regards you for a moment, his blue eyes dark and deep as he ponders quietly to himself.. After a moment, War bends down quickly, suddenly, bumping his jaw softly into your cheek, the side of his mouth grazing your skin affectionately. Then, just as quickly as it happened, it’s over. War straightens up, strolling out of the room and heading for your bedroom mumbling something about needing to clean Chaoseater. He leaves you standing in happy astonishment by the untouched cake. You touch a hand reverently to the spot where he’d effectively nuzzled your cheek, and you allow a lopsided smile to spread its way languidly across your burning face. 

Death: Death gave a disgruntled huff at the sight of you thrusting a balloon with crudely written words on the surface that said, ‘Happy anniversary’ into his face. He placed a hand on the weird object and pushed it away a little, glaring down at you and placing a hand on his hip. “Happy anniversary?” His tone of voice betraying the amused lilt of the question. 

“Yeah, well… It’s been a year since you restored humanity!” You grinned before muttering quietly to yourself, “That, and these were the only balloons I could find at such short notice...” Death appraises you with a faraway look in his eyes, “Has it been a year already?….” He whispers, letting his hand drop from the hip and resting it against his leg instead. 

Time, as a concept, is meaningless to the horseman. But ever since he met you, Death found that he’d been counting years, months, even days, all down to the fact that he was suddenly painfully aware of just how limited your existence is compared to his own. Death grimaces under his mask when he realises that he wants to recall every moment spent with you. Speaking of…

“`What is all of this?” Death gestures behind you, where you’ve set up the sitting room with balloons, bunting and streamers. On the coffee table there rests a card with an old polaroid picture on the front. He recognises it as the one you’d snapped almost immediately after you’d found a camera buried beneath a pile of rubble and, miraculously, still in working order. You follow his gaze and smile, handing him the card then standing back as he stares at the photograph. 

“It’s to say thanks.” You explain, shuffling your feet a little bashfully, “You’ve done so much for us so we figured the least we could do is say thank you.” 

“We?” Death looks up at you in question. You gesture to the card excitedly, “Open it!” With only a little suspicion flitting past his eyes, the horseman grips the top of the card delicately, flipping it over. 

Inside, there are a multitude of different signatures, each with different handwriting and some with little messages. The entire surface is completely covered in words, it’s hard to tell where one name ends and another begins. There’s the Makers’, all of whom have rather large, blocky letters and Death can’t help but wonder where you found a big enough pen for them. Then he saw Ostegoth’s signature and even Vulgrim’s, the latter of whom wrote a message thanking Death for all his business. He saw Draven’s name, Nathaniel’s, even Uriel’s was written there in neat cursive. Somehow, you’d convinced Jamaerah to sign it, although written underneath his name is the message “Thank you for nearly destroying my library.” Finally, there in the centre was your name, underneath which you wrote, “Death, I have to keep this brief because of space. And I can’t really portray my thanks properly in so few words. You’ve done so much for us, for me. Nothing could ever express how much you mean to everyone, despite how grumpy and sarcastic you are. You didn’t have to help us, but you were kind enough to do it anyway.. … So here’s to you Horseman, Reaper, Executioner.. Friend. … . .Love you Death.”

You watched with a little trepidation as Death slowly read each line, never blinking until at last he let out a small huff of laughter, looking up at you amusedly. “Y/n, this is charming, but it’s highly unnecessary.” You look a little crestfallen at that so he quickly chimes in, “However, in a thankless job such as my own, a little appreciation can go a long way.” He glances back down at the card in his hands. “This is the most thanks I’ve ever received…” he murmurs, the edges of the paper creasing slightly as he squeezes it tighter when the full realisation of what you’ve done for him takes hold. 

Death raises his head again, his matted, black hair falling over the mask on one side as he gazes down at you fondly. 

Tentatively, Death reaches out a rough hand, beckoning you with a finger to take it. You do, grasping his firmly and allowing him to press his thumb into your palm and stroke the skin there in a gesture of comfort. You both stand there like that for a while, not making eye contact but maintaining the physical kind, at ease with each other’s company. 

Fury: Fury’s heart damn near exploded with joy when she realised that you’d thrown together a party in her honour. She gives you a toothy grin when you push her into the sitting room and she sees the decorations you’ve put up. 

She’s moved that you think so much of her you’d throw her a traditionally ‘human’ celebration. Placing a hand on the side of your neck, she gazes at you with starry eyes as she nods, thanking you for this generous gift you’ve given her. You motion to a small end table beside an armchair, where Fury spots a carefully wrapped gift resting on the surface. She glances to you for reassurance. “Is that…?” 

Rolling your eyes playfully, you reply, “For you, Fury. Who else would it be for?” She smiles a bit sheepishly at that and delicately lifts the present into her hands. Tugging the bright purple ribbon off the top, she uses a single claw to shred one side of the paper off, reaching in through the hole she created, Fury pulls out a lovingly made, handcrafted, multicoloured bracelet. “Oh my…” she breathes, holding it up to the light and staring at it, enraptured. “You made this?” She asks, turning to face you. 

With a light shrug and a bashful smile, you nod, biting your lip and quietly asking, “Do you like it?” 

Fury slips the bracelet onto her wrist wordlessly and lightly pulls at the string to adjust it to fit. Grinning, the horseman turns to you and nods, showing off her dimples. Delightedly, you pull her into a hug, one which she readily accepts and returns, whispering that she needs to throw you a party one of these days.. ..

Strife: For Strife, it had to be extravagant and dramatic. You’re fairly certain he’d settle for nothing less. So it’s with a lot of persuasion that you manage to get Strife into a blindfold, lead him by the hand into a room full of your friends and yank the cover off his head, all shouting ‘surprise’ in unison. Of course, his hand flew to Redemption but you grab his arm just in time to reassure him that he’s okay, these people are here for him. 

Once he’s calmed down, he loses his mind at the amount of attention he’s suddenly receiving. Flustered, Strife backs up a little as your friends all tell him how grateful they are for keeping you safe and aiding his big brother in the restoration of humanity. Then, he starts to brag.. .

You stand there grimacing whilst he recounts tales of how he ‘saved Y/n’s ass’ in 100 different ways. 

After a couple of hours of witty banter, mostly on Strife’s part, your friends bid you and him goodbye, slapping him on the back and shaking his hand as they leave. When everyone’s gone and it’s just the two of you in the room, Strife turns to you and raises an eyebrow, a pleased smirk still prominent on his angular face. You flash him a wink, “What? They wanted to thank the guy who ‘saved my ass…’” you tease him. “And….I wanted to thank you as well.” 

The horseman blinks a few times at that, but then he merely waves his hand in the air as if to swat your thanks away. “Hey, it’s no biggie. Ain’t that what horsemen’re s’posed to do?” He scratches at the back of his neck and shrugs lightly, still fixing you with an enamoured smile. With a sudden burst of laughter, Strife grabs you, placing his hands on both of your hips and lifting you high into the air. 

“Strife!” you squawk, “Mind the ceiling!” He just beams up at you, finally lowering you back towards him as he gazes up at you and knocks his forehead against yours. 

“Hey, thanks for this. Been needing a good shindig for a while now..” He says happily. You just roll your eyes, sneaking a quick peck onto his closed lips. His smile, if at all possible, gets even wider when you do. 

[celticheartedfangirl]

For Your Consideration for the TEA’s . . . .

I know I haven’t been the most prolific writer this year, so most of my stuff is older material, but I would sure appreciate any and all nominations for my fics – these in particular, if you would be so kind (going to be linking to AO3):

A Night to Forget –  A hungover Mr. Gold awakens in a bedroom that he does not recognize. He begins to recall speaking to a beautiful girl at the bar the night prior, and as things progress he struggles with balancing his romantic life and his personal family drama. This is now officially a ‘Professor Gold’ fic of sorts, although he is not Belle’s professor. Lots of Papafire as well. Also it’s officially porn.  Rated Explicit.

This is my most recent fic and I’ve been trying to update it regularly.  I’m very proud of it, I hope you like where I take it.  I’d appreciate nominations in these categories for this one (each fic is only allowed two noms so I’d hope at least 2 out of these three would make it on the ballot):

Smut:  Romance category

Romance:  Best First Meeting

Character Awards:  Best Belle

A Life Unexpected –  In order to avoid her annoying ex-boyfriend, Belle French tells him she is dating someone. When she enters Mr. Gold’s shop, an unexpected deal occurs.  Rated Teen and up.

This was my RCIJ gift this year, and I while I don’t think it was the best fic of that lot by any means, I did enjoy writing it and I’d love for it to be considered in this category:

Romance:  Best Bed Sharing  (Nominated -- thank you so much!)

Pillow Talk –  After their encounters with Merida and the Dark Swan, Belle and Rumpelstiltskin return home to work toward fixing their broken relationship. This one shot takes place immediately after the events of 5x06 - “The Bear and the Bow.” This is the conversation that Rumbelle NEEDS to have, but since I doubt that the show will ever give it to us, I decided to write it myself.  Rated Teen and up.

I wrote this after TBatB aired – it was nominated last year but did not win.  I’m still proud of this one and would love a consideration for this category:

General Awards: Best Post-Ep Fic  (Nominated -- thank you so much!)

Wouldn’t It Be Good to be In Your Shoes? –  A mishap in the pawn shop causes David Nolan and Rumpelstiltskin to switch bodies. Trouble ensues when they try to find a solution to their 'problem’ and keep the switch from their wives. Set approximately one month after Season 3 ends.  Rated Teen and up.

I honestly had forgotten about this one, but it has never won anything so I thought I’d bring it back.  I’d certainly appreciate consideration for this one for the following category:

General Awards:  Best Comedy Fic  (Nominated -- Thank you so much!!!)

A Visit With Grandpa –  Henry has dinner with Belle and Rumpelstiltskin a few days after their wedding. One-shot written for the Rumbelle Newlyweds challenge on Tumblr. A little humor, and a little bit of emotional stuff. Enjoy!  Rated General audiences.

Have had lots of nominations for this one, no wins.  Honestly, this is the one shot I’m most proud of.  Please consider for:

Fluff:  Family  (Nominated -- thank you so much!)

The Ice Queen –  Isabelle French was the wealthiest woman in town, owner of the pawn shop. Mr. Gold, the town cripple, worked for her as her caretaker. Isabelle was a cold, ruthless woman and everyone in town hated her and feared her. They pitied Mr. Gold for having to work for such a monster. When Emma Swan returned to Storybrooke, Mr. Gold’s memories returned. How could he make his true love, his Belle, remember him, when everyone knew that she was incapable of loving anyone? AU Season one with frequent nods to the Disney film.  Rated Teen and up.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking – why should we nominate a fic you haven’t updated in 3 years, huh Charmed?  Well – you have a point.  But it’s my first fic in this fandom, I’m very proud of it, AND … . I will be updating it TODAY, with a goal of finishing it by next month.  If I don’t have an update by tonight, then for SURE tomorrow, but as soon as I’m done typing this post I’m going to be finishing the next chapter.  (And I DID!  Chapter 24 is right here! ) So if you’d be so kind, please consider it for:

Romance: Best Courtship  (Nominated -- thank you so much!)

General Awards:  Best AU! OUAT  (Nominated -- thank you so much!!!)

Catch a Falling Star –  Nick Gold owns a craft and antique shop in SoHo and Belle French is a famous movie actress who wanders in one day. Sparks fly when their paths cross, but can two people from different worlds stand a chance together? AU modern day Rumbelle inspired by the movie Notting Hill.  Rated Explicit.

No, this fic has never won anything in the TEAs.  This is my pride and joy and I will probably keep pushing for this one to win something – ANYTHING!  Please consider for:  

General Awards:  Best Movie AU (Nominated -- thank you SO MUCH!!!)

Character Awards: Best Mr. Gold

Star Crossed –  This story takes place in the “Catch a Falling Star” verse. Nick and Belle Gold are nearing their 13th anniversary. Their idyllic, blissfully happy life is about to take a sharp turn into difficult times, between dealing with a pre-teen daughter’s sudden shift in attitude, a film role that brings out Nick’s insecurities, the fallout from the strained marriage of Bae and Emma, and a dangerous threat in the form of one of Nick’s new students that neither of them sees coming.  Rated Explicit.

This is a sequel to CaFS but it is NOT a movie AU.  I’d love to be considered for these categories for this one:

Special Categories: Best Drama

Character Awards: Best Rumbelle Child, Olivia Gold

That is all I can think of.  Please note that my fics Witness Protection, Stripped and my Gone to the Dogs series are NOT eligible due to prior wins.  Going to try and have a list of recs for other fics and such by tomorrow.  Thank you to my readers for your support.  Please remember that liking and reblogging this post, while greatly appreciated, WILL NOT get me on the ballot – you need to nominate, and each entry needs FIVE nominations to get on the ballot.  Submit your nominations HERE:  http://theespensonawards.tumblr.com/submits

Good luck everyone!  

[sportymama]

We traveled 11.75 miles this morning after breaking camp in 5-hours! We were a tad motivated to get to Red’s Meadows. As we hiked, we talked about the upcoming luxuries of SHOWERS. REAL FOOD. CELL SERVICE. Among many, one of the things this trail has lended me was to absolutely and constantly be thankful for the little things. As I paid the $15 for 15 minutes of clean water in an actual shower I considered people who do not have this option and how easy it is to take for granted. I couldn’t believe the MUD that rolled off of me and down the drain. Serious filth! Even though I was bathing daily in whatever body of water was available to us each evening, it just didn’t compare to a warm, clean, shower. How much this relates to Jesus! I would’ve paid $100 for this luxury. We laughed! Us girls. We all three went into the shower at the same time, finding three empty stalls and as we plopped our tokens into the coin operated machine and stepped in, we laughed! Hard! We stood under the rush of warm water and felt like pampered princesses and REALLY felt clean! We didn’t shave the entire trip. It was our pact. The feeling of wanting to now was SO incredibly overwhelming. It was part of the journey and being all in. We may be clean princesses but we are hairy! And so was our dude! His facial hair was reaching epic proportion! For me, this shower washed so much more than dirt away. It washed away my bad attitude from the days before, it washed away feelings of guilt over decisions I have made, expectation I’ve placed on myself and ones that have been put there by others, it washed away things I’ve been holding on to that needed desperately to be let go of, past hurts, pride issues, being judged, negative feelings, mistakes, times in my life that I fell apart, fear, the mess of the last year and the dirt of the past…..It all ran down the drain in a puddle.

Red’s Meadows is such a great place. Magical. The gathering place for all wanderers just outside of the beautiful Mammoth Lakes/Devil’s Postpile area. Full of wonderful, backpacking, happy people. It’s no wonder I loved it! (“My People” as my hubs refers to them) We quickly recognized some of our trail family. Those we’ve met along the way, and continue to see on the daily. Leap- frogging along, but always ending up camping alongside each night. Our Sylvanian’s whom we met WAY back on Glen Pass; two buddies hiking together, one of them barefoot. Tony, our dreadlocked farmer, who gave up an organic farm to hike the JMT, and of course the sweet 50th-anniversary couple, Brooks and Rita. We all filtered in little by little to the showers, the Mule House Cafe (that had the BEST cheeseburgers, fries, and fruit pie on the planet, ON THE PLANET!) and little general store that held our resupply. Interestingly enough, none of us rushed for our resupply. We opted instead for a shower, food, beer and hanging in the sunshine talking with other hikers…. in that order. We met Sam, a guy from the UK who is hiking the PCT. He is 3 weeks from finishing his 6-month journey and even though I have suffered some pretty rotten things out on this trail, I yearn for the opportunity to hike the PCT at some point. I was a little jealous. We talked to 2 women hikers from Maine that were having issues with sleeping bags. They were freezing at night and were asking opinions from everyone about new sacks that they were considering purchasing in Mammoth Lakes. We met a group of 4 women hiking together that were sharing a jar of queso dip and chips from the store. HEAVEN! We listened to the stories of fun and laughter, of animals, of heartbreak, of spiritual journeys, of blisters and sprained ankles, of sleeping COLD, of favorite and least favorite passes, the stories of their journeys and what brought them out here in the first place. I was happy to see so many solo-female hikers, and Ladies of the JMT (all of us wearing our blue bandanas on our pack to signify who we were) I was fascinated by these people and their stories and just wanted to take it all in! Sometimes I thought; man we must have a screw loose to do this, to want this, to enjoy (to some extent) the suffering of almost a month in the wilderness. The isolation, being dirty, being in the complete silence, the remoteness…but then I realized…Nah, it’s passion. It’s passion that drives this and every. single. one. of. us.  has. a. story.

This was some DANG good coffee!

With our “Sylvakians” Igor (who hiked most of the trail barefoot and Jakob (Jakub)

We picked up our resupplies from the little general store and sifted through the contents. I dug….WAY down to the bottom for my note, but quickly saw that Greg had added a few other goodies to this bucket. A can of Pringle’s (oh sweet Jesus) about 5 lbs of Starburst, blister care items (first aid) and a few bottles of Fire Ball. That man knows exactly what I need even from thousands of miles away and not hearing from me in over 10 days! This would be our last resupply. My last note. The last little bit of correspondence until we finish this out. It excited me as much as it grieved me. It was bittersweet in several aspects and as happy as I was to be finishing up this incredibly, epic experience, I was deeply SO saddened at the same time.

My note to myself.

Paula,

Wild Mama, just because you cried today doesn’t make you weak, Allow the tears to come and wash your spirit clean. You’ve come a long way baby! You’re at Red’s Meadows. Reflect on where you have come from and where you’re heading. Continue to celebrate all that lies within you. God has created in you and adventurer, a lover of nature and of stars and extraordinary views. This is why you’re out here. Breathe it all in. You are stronger than you ever give yourself credit. Keep it up, badass warrior! Thanks be to God. Remember, you planned well and are ready for the next few days to the finish!

And from G.

Look at you, Lady! Wow! Bad-assery in its truest form. Your body is probably a little beat up and tired, but that’s ok. Better this than a lump on the couch. Embrace it all! You can make it this last stretch, dig in and remember, LOOK UP! Hopefully, you remember me at the end of this. I will be the guy standing with a cold beer, a super-soaker, and a razor. Ha-Ha! I love you, G

I roared with laughter as I read this. Along with his funny note, and myriad of additional goodies, he had packed the baggies of my re-packaged dehydrated meals (yes RE-PACKAGED because weight is EVERYTHING when it’s on your back) and had renamed a few for me, which brought some great laughter around our little Jet Boils as we cooked dinner at camp.

We had to say goodbye to Red’s Meadows  in the morning and start our way up Donahue Pass. It was hard leaving. We ate an AMAZING breakfast with WAAAAY too much coffee from a pot. Donahue is a big pass with 23-ish miles to the top. It’s long and gradual reaching 11,703 feet. We camped part way up around the Shadow Lake area. We had decided to bite this last section off in chunks. This was a gorgeous camp, with a waterfall right outside my tent door. (and for me, besides sunrises and sunsets, waterfalls rank HIGH up on the food chain of gorgeous-must-sees for me. I LOVE them) I climbed to the top of the falls and spent some alone time with God thanking Him for his creation, for His love for us through his creation. The beauty here and along this entire journey has been unsurpassed. I thanked Him for the opportunity of being out here, for His healing on my feet and body. I thanked Him for my hiking partners and keeping us all healthy (for the most part.) and safe. Out of the four of us, we had one common thread before going into this hike….our dude! K and I knew one another, but not to the depths that we did now. J and I met the day she, K and her hubs picked me up in San Bernardino to head to Lone Pine. Talk about really putting your faith into your hiking partners. So for us to make it this far with only a few small scrapes and bumps along the trail (so to say) I think I was in good company. I was so thankful for their underserved patience, and their inspiration, and kindness. I know we all had days where the raw emotion was high and we wanted to scream at one another, but in the end, we showed love, appreciation, devotion, fortitude, humility, mercy and grace. We showed friendship.  I was so grateful for that. Complete and utter favor in the most extreme conditions Their compassion was incredible. I know full well that some days, probably most days, I was deserving of NONE of it!

That one day that J fell and K had to bandage her up with a Maxi-Pad!!

I took a deep breath as I climbed into my tent and into my mummy, the cascading sound of the falls outside the door making me dizzy with relaxation and tiredness. It had started to rain and we all retreated to our tents early. The daylight still lingered. I sat up and re-read the note from G and giggled. He has the greatest way of always making me and those around him laugh! He would love this spot. I cannot believe this journey is almost ending. I didn’t want it to. It had changed me in some pretty profound ways already. What would going home be like? What would matter to me that hadn’t before? What things would I cherish more and what would I no longer need or care to have? Would I want to go home and buy a Tiny House in the woods after living in Big Agnes for the past 3 1/2 weeks? What would I appreciate more and find unnecessary? What would food and water taste like? Different? Possibly. I do know the need to see my family was so colossal. To breathe them in deeply was all I wanted. That, and to lift and inhale the sweet, dirty, earthy, grass-smell of my puppy’s paws. (this is something her and I do several times a day) Those things that on a daily we become so accustomed to, that are so ordinary at times, that never will be again. They just can’t be.

Start my JMT journey from the beginning HERE 

Tales From the Trail -Red’s Meadows We traveled 11.75 miles this morning after breaking camp in 5-hours! We were a tad motivated to get to…

[datinglove07-blog-blog-blog]

100 Reasons I Love You

New Post has been published on https://onlinedatingloves.com/awesome/100-reasons-i-love-you/

100 Reasons I Love You

I’m a writer.

I can’t say whether I’m any good. All I can say is that I’m prolific.

I wrote the comedy column in my college newspaper.

I wrote a dozen screenplays and 15 sitcoms when I moved to LA in my twenties.

I have written over 1000 blog posts, 400 newsletters, 100 podcasts and 4 volumes since then.

But the most meaningful thing I’ve ever written is something “no ones ever” read before.

It’s a series of listings called “1 00 Reasons I Love You” that I wrote for the extraordinary girl I call my wife.

The first one was dated July 25, 2007. That was six months into our relationship when I first told her I loved her.

The second one was dated November 25, 2007. That was for her 38 th birthday.

The third one was dated April 24, 2008. That was when I proposed to her.

Since then, we’ve gotten married, bought a house in the suburbium, and had two children , now 6 and 7, who fill up our world with delight.

As a husband, father, son, friend, friend, and small business owner, I’m as harried as you are, trying to spread my day and attention around to attain everyone I love happy.

But, as you know, things fall through the crackings. That’s life.

We all have to pick and choose what’s important.

As a dating coach, I have a daily window into this, and one of the things I see regularly is how well-meaning couples fall into a rut and are beginning to take each other for granted.

To be fair, we all have a great excuse: life is, indeed, busy!

And actually, who has the time and energy to treat your spouse like you did when you first began dating?

Yet that absence of period and energy are exactly why relationships falter.

It’s why people grow apart.

All the little things stop and you fall into your roles.

You work. You parent. You sleep.

All the time you put into being a couple has disappeared and been absorbed into life’s other endeavors. Next thing you know, you’re wondering: “What happened to us? ”

THAT’s why I insist that relationships don’t take “work, ” but they do take EFFORT.

So while I’d like to think I’m a good spouse- I wake up the kids and induce them breakfast, I’m out of the office every day at 5:30 to help out my family, and I’m fluent in all 5 Love Languages- there’s always something that can be done better.

I’m doing it today.

This week marks my 10 th Anniversary.

It’s is not merely been ten years since my wife and I tied the knot, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health,’ til demise do us portion- but it’s been ten years since I wrote a listing for my spouse of 100 reasons I love her.

It’s something I’ve been meaning to do, but haven’t get around to, what with football practise, cleaning out the garage, and putting together that earthquake preparedness kit.

My 100 Reasons list is not a run of literary genius. It’s largely a series of inside jokes for an audience of two. But I’m sharing it with you today for three reasons :P TAGEND

1. I’m proud of it. I’m proud of my spouse. I’m proud of my wedding. I’m proud that I’m given this opportunity to let you peek in on my relationship and demonstrate you what healthy, lasting love looks like from the inside.

2. My wife is cool with it. Sure, this is written for private purposes, but my spouse has constructed peace with the facts of the case that I’m an open book. So while I respect her privacy and cherish our wedding, I also consider our partnership as an education on love that I can offer immediately to you. All the good, all the bad; I merely have one mode: honest.

3. True love are likely to be yours. While I wouldn’t hold my breath on your future spouse writing you 4 lists of 100 reasons he loves you, that’s because he’ll have a real task besides “dating coach.” What he lacks as a romantic and fast typist, I promise he’ll make up for with other traits: character, consistency, kindness, and commitment.

This much I know is true.

Great husbands come in many forms to the millions of women who look for them.

Great husbands come in many forms to the millions of women who look for them.

They don’t, however, come to women who have given up on men.

They don’t come to women who guess the worst of men.

They don’t come to women who think dating is a waste of time and that relationships merely lead to heartbreak and disappointment.

That’s why, starting officially on Thursday, November 1st, I’m having a special marketing on my Believe in Love program where you’ll get $50 off just for being on my mailing list.

Consider that my 10 th-anniversary gift to YOU.

You deserve to be happy and in love.

If you don’t have it now, then something has to change- preferably sooner, rather than later.

In the meantime, enjoy your day, hug someone special, and check your inbox on Thursday morning to take advantage of this opportunity to get your groove back and save big money.

Warmest wishings and much love,

Your friend,

Evan

P.S. You didn’t believe I’d shut this email without sharing my list, did you?

So, without further ado, 100 Reasons I Love My Wife, Volume 4 :P TAGEND

1. You always have floss with you.

2. You let me read bedtime stories to the kids every night.

3. You know how to turn on the pond heater and filter since I don’t.

4. You make a generous effort to visit my family whenever we can.

5. You have separate washings for blacks, colours and lights.

6. You say yes to all social plans- and often consider whether I want to be part of them.

7. You promote me to insure my guy friends.

8. You are the pioneer of the Mad Libs Dance Challenge.

9. You are really fun, considering you’re the not-fun parent.

10. You will always go out of your way to help a friend.

11. You validate me when I say I need more quality time with you.

12. You appreciate how much I want to provide for the family.

13. You offer me fair criticism in ways that I can always handle.

14. You drive six hours in a day for a weekend without the kids.

15. You make a mean gazpacho.

16. You rock those vacation wall calendars.

17. You care about the details of every barbecue, dinner party, and birthday party.

18. You continue to surprise me with random military facts that I don’t know.

19. You can expend three nights packing for a three-day weekend.

20. You need to have 10 all sorts of vinegar to eat one big heirloom tomato.

21. You listen to me relentlessly vent about the technology part of my business.

22. You are proud of your age and you’re proud that I’m proud of your age.

23. You know how to laugh at yourself.

24. You make sure the kids can laugh at themselves, too.

25. You are the model for all the Catholic wives at synagogue.

26. You sort through endless amounts of kids’ homework on the kitchen table.

27. You always prove that when I can’t find something, I simply did a “man-look.”

28. You are willing to go to the beach with me, even though you don’t like sand.

29. You constructed sure our 16 -day East Coast road trip was an experience to remember.

30. You’re willing to listen to my notions about how to be happier and more efficient.

31. You like to keep the pool at 88 degrees.

32. You get 97 texts from your PFA friends in one day.

33. You dominate at board game night, especially Taboo.

34. You are wonderfully shameless when it is necessary to karaoke night.

35. You never go to bed mad.

36. You can somehow sleep until 11 am on weekends.

37. You write cards that make me cry.

38. You merely cry when your computer is causing you trouble.

39. You will always want to go to a movie on a night when the kids are in San Diego.

40. You put salt on salted popcorn.

41. You actually owned a tank of helium for balloons.

42. You like math.

43. You are the designated poop-picker-upper when there’s an accident.

44. You never say no to a Mommy’s Night Out.

45. You curse more than I do.

46. You are more into reading, theater and politics than when we first met.

47. You insist on themed Halloween costumes for all four of our family members.

48. You have a whole section of the attic reserved for different holiday decorations.

49. You require two attics to house all the things you’ve never hurled out.

50. You like 90% of what I buy you for Christmas.

51. You trust me when it comes to choosing a restaurant.

52. You always order the least healthy( and most tasty) thing on the menu.

53. You are cool with canceling Christmas. Or our 10 th-anniversary vacation, if need be.

54. You are slowly coming around on the dog thing. Maybe a dwarf hamster first…

55. You eventually got into volume club- but you have a better idea if this one collapses.

56. You are always agreeable when I invite old friends over to dinner.

57. You treat my family like your own family.

58. You care about how you seem- and you invariably look beautiful.

59. You construct incredible meals in the crockpot.

60. You have a pantry with about 50 kinds of carbs, crackers, chips and cereals.

61. You don’t tell me how you vote- but I’m pretty sure you vote the way I would.

62. You are an excellent disciplinarian with the kids.

63. You invariably agree with me when we do our post-party rundown in the car.

64. You are the unofficial mayor of our town.

65. You embrace why my Israel trip entailed so much to me.

66. You are the best kind of stable- I know exactly what I’ll get for the rest of my life.

67. You are almost willing to go camping, as long as there’s a shower in the woods.

68. You are an easy audience.

69. You don’t count calories.

70. You attain bangs seem good.

71. You take pride in being the best school treasurer ever.

72. You’re sometimes willing to have sex TWO days in a week.

73. You use 12 pillows when you go to sleep at night in your pillow fort.

74. You knew every term at the Depeche Mode show and braved three days at Desert Trip.

75. You allow me to play dinnertime DJ and introduce the kids to our music.

76. You don’t want anything more in life than a weekend alone.

77. You still read marriage publications and consider them your version of porn.

78. You laugh at my mishaps at Thai massage places.

79. You drive much faster than I do.

80. You read much slower.

81. You say “I love you” at least 25% of the times I say it to you.

82. You are a hero to females you’ve never met.

83. You save random Saturday Night Live sketches for me to watch after you’ve seen them.

84. You handle customer service issues when I’m about to blow a gasket.

85. You make sure the kids are prepared for any fluctuation in temperature.

86. You never pass up a glass( or two) of wine.

87. You have middle-class savour at home and five-star taste in hotels.

88. You look great naked.

89. You stimulate me feel like I do, too.

90. You donate to every charity that any of your family members request.

91. You can take a 2-hour transgres from telling a tale and begin right where you left off.

92. You can operate on three hours of sleep.

93. You are more than willing to leave a party…an hour after I first asked if we could go.

94. You never induce me feel bad when I’m falling short.

95. You don’t let your past relationships negatively affect your present ones.

96. You understand my need to talk about my past- my father, my exes, my career.

97. You have the highest emotional intelligence of anyone I’ve ever met.

99. You know all my embarrassing anecdotes- and you’re still here!

100. You are my muse, my north star, my raison d’etre, my favorite person in the world.

Happy 10 th anniversary, honey!

Love,

Evan

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Part 2

I didn’t sleep the rest of the night. Still didn’t hear from him all day. I called into work and everything. I called hospitals and looked up jails all around Austin to see if he got out there for whatever reason.

I literally had no idea where my boyfriend was at. It wasn’t until 3 in the afternoon that I finally heard from him. He didn’t understand why I was so mad. “You’re being stupid Autumn.” “I’m fine Autumn.” “Would you be acting this way if we lived in Odessa?” “I have to go I’m going downtown with friends.” *click*

I cried. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. In that moment something changed inside me. I was mad. I madder than hell. I could feel myself grow stronger mentally. My outlook on things in that moment changed. I began to realize that all of this was not my fault. My craziness, my overwhelming need of wanting him to love me was not my fault. None of this was my fault.

For months I had been putting everything on me. I was putting him first all the time and putting me last. He wasn’t doing the same.

I was mentally done. Done with it all. Done getting treated this way. Done with his shit. Done.

He came home around 7. Told me he was going to take a shower and then go back out with his friends.

I got mad. Very mad. And I started to yell. But this time it was different. My words were in control. What I was saying was honesty. And even then he acted like I was crazy for being upset with him. Crazy for being mad that I had no idea where he was at. I was the crazy one. “Quit being crazy autumn. Did you take your medication today?”

If you know someone who is on anxiety medicine that they take every day.. don’t you dare ask them if they took there medication that day.

Turns out he stayed at his friends house and “fell asleep there.” I didn’t find out until later that this girl that he talked about so much also lived at this apartment as well. He left that information out.

He ended up not leaving. We laid on the bed that night together but apart. I had tears rolling down my face because I knew we were over. I wasn’t putting up with this anymore. I needed a way out.

The following Thursday he went with me to a BBQ with my job. He was off that day. I told him what time to be there and he still showed up 1hr and a half late. He was there but he wasn’t there. He was on his phone the whole time and didnt really interact with anyone. When we got home he goes “okay I’m leaving and I’m going to go hang out with my friends.”

I stood there in disbelief. I hadn’t seen him or hung out with him or not been in a full blown screaming argument with him in such a long time that, that night all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch TV with him or play video games. I wanted to be with him.

He was gathering up all his stuff when I finally said it. I was calm. The calmest I had ever been since January. My voice was even. It didn’t crack. It didn’t quiver. There was no tears in my eyes. My mind was clear.

“We’re done. “I can’t do this anymore.”

I will never forget the look on his face. I had just taken away his toy. His object. That’s what he made me feel like.

“What did you say?” He asked.

“I’m done. I’m leaving you.”

He didn’t take me seriously at first.

And I looked at him.. strong but soft voice. I looked him straight in the eyes And said, “I’m not doing this anymore. My mind is clear. I’m not just blurting this out. We’re done. You’re done treating me this way. I’m done with you.”

It was the most powerful thing I had done at that point. It was the most fearless feeling I had ever felt.

I was done being cheated on. He grew an emotional attachment with her. Maybe he never kissed her or touched her but emotionally he wanted her over me. And it had ruined me.

He dropped his stuff, grabbed a chair and sat across from me. He started apologizing. Crying. Begging me to stay with him. (Hmm sounds all too familiar.) “you’re the only one for me Autumn.” “I love you so much.” “Please don’t do this.” “We’re going to get married in day.” “We can get through this.” “I can change! I promise.”

It took him at least an hour to convince me stay. An hour for me to faIl for it.. again.

My hopeless romantic heart. I wanted a fairytale ending so bad.

I really was done. I truly believe I would’ve left him that day if I had been living in Odessa. But I wasn’t. I was in Austin. With no money to get home. I could’ve called my parents to get me out of this situation but I was too prideful. I believed I had failed. And I believed he would change.

He ended up moving back to Odessa before me for work and I was in Austin by myself for 2 months and it was the most peaceful experience I had ever had in months.

My mom called me (I told no one but a few friends about my almost break up w Justin.. I most certainly did not tell my mother.) begging me to move back in with them when I moved home. She knew something was wrong.

I turned down her offer because I didn’t want Justin mad at me if I did that. (Our first year of dating burned in the back of my mind when I told him I wasn’t living with him.)

We moved back to Odessa in August and everything seemed to go back to normal. I was off my medication. I was having less and less panic attacks.

He would still say mean things to me all the time. Telling me how Stupid I was. He never complimented me. It was always something negative.

I’d call my friend, Myranda, all the time about it and she told me over and over to pack my things and get the hell out.

Finally, in January Shit hit the fan.

I started gaining my confidence back. I wanted to go out and hang out with people. I wanted him to join me. And he never wanted to come with me.

I started to go out more. I didn’t want to be at our place all time. I was running.

New Year’s Eve night into New Year’s Day morning I tried breaking up with him again. I packed a bag and I was headed out.

I told him I wanted a break.

Then he picks that time to tell me that’s he’s been looking at rings and wants to buy me a ring. And I ruined the surprise with my nonsense.

Fast forward to our 3 year anniversary.

Worst anniversary ever.

I’ll just leave it at that.

Anytime I got asked about our relationship I always lied. “it’s going so good! I couldn’t be happier!” “He treats me so well!” I said it so much I was trying to believe it. I never told anyone the truth.

However, bubbly Autumn wasn’t bubbly anymore so most people figured it out.

When he didn’t want to go hangout with friends I would always make up an excuse for him. “Oh he’s tired.. he works a lot you know?” That was my go too excuse for him.

February, tried to get out of the relationship but he wouldn’t let me. He had this hold over me that I couldn’t get out of. March roles around and he finally fucks up massively.

He began to take dishwasher girl home That he works with. Like I said in the beginning.. I’m not a jealous person. So I was like whatever about it. Plus she looks like a 13 year boy so I really didn’t care.

On a Saturday night I had a chance to cheat on him. I almost took the bait and did it. This guy at the bar is paying attention to me and being nice and flirty and my boyfriend is god knows where, haven’t heard from him and I almost went back with this guy to his hotel room.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t do that to anyone. I’m not a cheater. I couldn’t hurt Justin like that.

I got home that night around 1 in the morning and Justin is not home. I fell asleep and woke up around 2. No call no text from him.

Great. He’s doing it again. Panic sets in and I start blowing up his phone.

I know who he’s with. I’m not stupid. And since he’s not answering his phone.. I know what he’s doing.

I get into my car and head to his place of work to see if he’s in the parking lot with her. Not there.

I take my car and point it towards midland and I’m driving 90 mph. My friend is on the other line because she’s up late studying and I’m having her tell me every apartment off of Wadley. (That’s where dishwasher girl was living)