#well he also just looks acoustic if I’m being honest

[darksigns-exe]

Sweet Like Honey - Loneliness No More

Warnings: Mentions of Alcohol, Brief Mention of Sexual Harassment (It's one line) Word Count: 2,3k

Read on AO3

They’re in the studio when her name pops up on the screen of his phone. Seeing her name and that pretty picture of her and Barnabas doesn’t fill him with dread anymore. They’re not out of the woods just yet, but it’s all coming along nicely. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it. Seeing her grow less hesitant towards him again was enough of a reward. The fact that she’s willing to give them another chance is good enough for him. 

The message is simple enough. 

Tash bailed on me.  Do you want to go to that show with me? Ticket is already paid for. 

They’d mostly met up with other people around since she’d come back. This would be the first time they’d be, sort of, on their own. 

He agrees without even asking who they’d be seeing. Bee has decent enough taste in most things, it’ll be at least decent even if it isn’t exactly his taste. She’ll be there and that’s good enough for him. He’s fully aware that he’s acting like a lovesick teenager. She could ask him to walk from here to New York and he’d do it. It’s just a little bit embarrassing, but by God, no one has made him feel like this. And he still feels as if he has to amend for his fuckery. 

A range of laughter makes him look up from his phone. 

“You’re fucking cringe, dude.” Matt kicks against his shin “This shit is disgusting.”

He knows it's in jest, but he still has to bite the bitter words that he wants to throw at his friend back. 

Noah tosses his phone back onto the desk, face down so that Matt doesn’t see that he’s made her his the background on his home screen again. He’ll have to change it again before they meet up. She doesn’t need to know how deep in it he truly is. 

She texts him the time and place at some point during the day, it’s the little venue that’s just a couple of blocks away from where she lives. He makes it there with a bit of time to spare. Bee rounds the corner just as she makes it to the door of the venue. She’s in a little sundress that barely reaches the middle of her thighs. He tries not to think about how the fabric hugs the curve of her body, how gorgeous it makes her look. She picks up her step when she spots him waiting. 

“You’re here.” She sounds almost surprised. 

“Said I’d come.” 

He feels himself twitch when she wraps him up in a tight hug. His hand comes to rest against the bare skin of her back. The feeling almost drives him insane. Her skin is so soft and warm. The vanilla of her perfume sinks into his senses.

“Thank you again.” She says as she pulls away “I really didn’t want to go alone.”

“Of course. I mean I’m glad to come along.” 

“Last time I went to a show with Tash a guy asked us if we wanted to have a threesome with him.” She grimaces at the memory.

He doesn’t like the thought of either of them being subjected to that kind of talk. Noah’s sure that both women could take well enough care of themselves. Knowing that this shit probably also happens at his own shows makes him feel a little sick. 

They head inside shortly afterwards. Bee elegantly steers him away from the bar. He gets it. 

They find a little spot near the back of the place. There’s still an hour left before the show actually starts. Bee wraps him up in an easy conversation and for a moment he feels as if nothing had ever happened between them. 

Bee had shifted to stand in front of him. His chest feels too tight with misplaced anticipation. He knows that nothing will happen. He’s lucky enough that she asked him and not someone else. But he can’t help but wish for something to come of the night. They talk until the house lights dim and Bee moves back to his side. The band is some kind of indie acoustic thing. It’s inoffensive, but Bee enjoys it so he bites his tongue and withholds his judgement. If he’s entirely honest with himself it’s not even that bad. 

The band moves into a slower number and he feels Bee shift a little closer to him. He can feel her arm brush against his. Her skin is cool from the air-conditioning inside the venue. Noah feels her eyes on him, and when he meets her glance it almost knocks the air out of his lungs. The look on her face is so soft, so fond that his heart feels as if it’s trying to break out of his chest. She holds his glance for a moment too long. His breath comes staggered and too fast. It feels like the moment before a kiss. A kiss that never comes. 

Her jaw is set like stone as she continues to watch the band, almost as if she’s forcing herself to look away. Noah wants her to look at him. He wants to feel the warmth that comes with her smile and it makes him feel sick to his stomach. 

He’s sure that he’s been in love before, but it’s never been like this. Maybe it’s because he’s been thinking about it for too long, but he has to feel her hands on his body again, has to feel her lips everywhere. The feeling had long superseded the purely physical. 

Noah can’t stop his hand from finding hers. She doesn’t stop him, doesn’t pull away when he curls his fingers around hers. Her hand feels so much smaller than his. The tips of her fingers briefly pulse against the back of his hand. It’s such a small and non-descript movement that no one else would notice it. But it burns into his mind, into his skin. He savours the feeling. There’s no knowing when he’ll get to be with her like this again. 

When the show ends he’s still holding her hand. And Bee gives no indication that she wants it to stop either. Just once in a while, without any kind of regular rhythm, he feels her thumb drift over the back of his hand. He isn’t sure if it’s something she does consciously. It soothes the nervous energy in his belly nevertheless. 

He walks her back home without question. If she can’t even go to a show without getting off-colour comments he doesn’t want her walking around town in the middle of the night. 

The walk back to her building is quiet, with the exception of her excited recap of the night. It's endearing. 

“Want to come up for a bit?” She asks when they reach her door. 

He wants nothing more than that, but if he does he doesn’t know if he can stop himself from staying. 

“I’d love to but I don’t know if I should Bee.” 

She nods. The defeat on her face is glaringly obvious “O-okay. I just thought that we could talk.”

“Talk?”

“I just wanted to say that I could have been more forthright. I could have told you more about Ben without expecting you to ask all the questions yourself.” She wrings her hands together nervously “I don’t want you to think that I blame you for all of this.”

It’s so earnest that it stings in his chest. 

“I don’t believe that…I mean I don’t believe that you blame me for it.” He reaches out for her hand “I’m glad to hear it though.” 

She smiles at him “Thank you for coming with me tonight, Noah.”

“Thank you for asking me to come with you.”

He pulls her into a tight hug. Noah feels her head resting against his chest as she wraps her arms around him. The goddamn pounding in his chest finally stops, if only momentarily. Before he pulls away, he presses a kiss to the top of her head. 

Like the love-drunk fool he is, he waits in front of her building until she opens the window in her kitchen to wave at him so that he knows she has made it up safely. 

He waves back, of course. He doesn’t leave with the same tension in his back this time. She’s still in the window when he’s halfway down the road. 

When he gets home, the lights in the living room are still on. The expectant faces turn to him as soon as the door closes. They’re like a fucking triumvirate holding council over his fate. Noah can practically feel questions pouring in. He tries to ignore them, pushes past them up the stairs before they can get a word out but he doesn’t miss their snickering. They’re not better than school girls, he thinks. 

When his back finally hits the mattress and his mind quiets down a little, the loneliness that he’d been feeling for a good while now does not return. Usually, when he sits in silence it gnaws at his mind like a rat, but tonight it doesn’t come. 

At this side, the screen of his phone flashes up. The notification covers the bottom of the picture on his lock screen. When he opens it he finds a message from Bee, a screenshot of her own lock screen showing the both of them a few weeks before she had initially left. He has his arms around her in a tight hug, both of them with big smiles on their faces. 

They make a pretty couple . 

As soon as the thought enters his head he tries to shake it away again. They’re not a couple. If he allows himself to sink into that delusion things will only get more complicated. And he wants to do this properly. Take his time with it. 

She has a picture of them together set as the lock screen of her phone. The thought distracts him from his previous dilemma. Bee must have seen her picture on his phone at some point during the night, there was no other reason for her to send him that screenshot. He wondered for how long that picture had been on her phone. Had it been there since she’d left or was it a recent change? Either way, she had saved that picture for half a year. She’d kept it even after he’d been as awful as he had been. 

Are you still up?

When the screen lights up it almost blinds him a little. Noah can almost picture her writing it, curled up in her bed with her puffy duvet wrapped around her body. He gives her a quick reply saying that he is still awake. 

A moment later his phone rings. He picks up before the ringtone has time to loop.

“I was thinking about something.” She speaks without greeting. 

“Go on.”

“I was- was this a date Noah?” 

The question catches him off guard. Because all things considered he isn’t sure either.

“Do you want it to be a date?”

It gives her space to back out in case she just wanted to see how he felt about it — to let him down gently. 

There’s a beat of silence on the other end of the line before she finally speaks up “I think so yes.”

The weight that falls off his shoulders is nearly immeasurable. 

“Then it was a date.”

It’s such a small phrase but it changes everything. He hears her let out a sigh on her end “I really didn’t know if you…but I kept thinking about it and I just wanted to know.”

“I know.” 

The silence is comfortable. Drifting in and out of conversations with her never had that awkward, uneasy feeling. He keeps his phone on speaker next to his head when he lays back down again. In the dark of his room, it almost feels as if she’s lying next to him. 

“When did you take that picture?” 

“Remember when we went to see that movie? The shit one Folio wanted to see? We came to pick you up and they were trying to book a table for after the movie and I went looking for you.” 

The memory is so very clear in his mind. He’d long known that what he felt for her far superseded friendship, but this awfully mundane scene had settled it in his mind. He realised then that he wanted to come to her and that stupidly stubborn cat. 

“I didn’t even notice you.” She says so softly. 

“Because I’m so hard to miss.” 

She lets out a laugh at his exasperated tone. Her laugh is quickly followed by what he assumes is her attempt at soothing Barn. 

He likes this kind of normal they have. She’s his own private hideaway from all the madness that comes with the band. He likes it, there’s nothing he’d rather do, but some days it all becomes a little too overwhelming. And to have someone who is so far removed from it all to take his mind off it all is a true blessing. 

The conversation fades in and out and in a way Noah regrets that he didn’t come up to her apartment. But he’s glad that they’re once again able to just talk like this. He stays on the line until she goes silent and he hears a soft little snore through the speaker. He leaves the call on for a little while longer before he ends it, in the hope that Bee doesn’t wake up from the sudden noise. 

He stays up for a little longer. The song he’s been working on is finally reaching a point that feels complete. He hasn’t shown her any of the new songs. That moment is not necessarily something he looks forward to. With the exception of this one. This one is just for her ears. 

[ystk-archive]

[TRANSLATION] The story of how capsule formed (from Interview File Cast vol.24)

The following is the first page from capsule's interview with Interview File Cast, published in the summer of 2001 while promoting their second single Hanabi. Translation by ystk-archive; rest of the interview will be done...hopefully someday! (It's ten pages long.)

▼ᐃ▼

– Since this is your first interview with us, I’d like to start off by asking how you two got to debut as capsule. I heard you met at the 1997 Hokuriku Teens’ Music Festival…

Nakata: That’s right. We knew of each other’s existence before then, but we’d just say “hey” and that was it. We might’ve spoken properly for the first time at that festival. She was doing some kind of acoustic pop music there with a girl who played the keyboard. Koshijima was the one who did the singing.¹

– Was the type of music they were doing pretty simple compared to what you do now?

Koshijima: I’d say so. Nakata: She just sang ballads and that was it. I had met all kinds of people doing music before I even went to the festival, but at the time I was a soloist and the songs I performed were all instrumental. I’d been thinking I wanted to make vocal music, so I was wondering if I should be looking for a singer… And she just happened to be there. Koshijima: Uh-huh, I just happened to be there. It was entirely by chance, me being there (laughs). Nakata: (laughs) It was a little while after that before we actually formed the unit, but in the meantime we recorded a demo tape.

– Together?

Nakata: Yes. To be honest, my goal was to record a demo tape. We didn’t particularly want to do performances.

– You only recorded a demo tape?

Nakata: So when I talked to her, I asked her if she could do me a favor. I went like, “I was wondering if you’d wanna try singing a song for me…” The track that she sang on was pretty good, lots of people who listened to it told me “it’s amazing!” – even the staff members liked it.² That put the idea in my head to do more songs with her, and while we were working on those we started wondering if it’d be a good idea to try performing live. Then it was like, well then, let’s think of a name for the unit. So that’s the reason why capsule formed. That said, it did take a while from when we recorded that song on the demo tape to actually create the unit; I think maybe two months or more.

– The fact that all this started from just wanting to record a demo tape makes for a rather interesting story of how you two met. But Koshijima-san, what was your first impression of Nakata-san, when he approached you like that?

Koshijima: He was kinda intimidating because he seemed like he didn’t want to have anything to do with anyone, but once I started speaking with him he was surprisingly easy to talk to.

– So you had no problem agreeing to record the demo?

Koshijima: Even though I was already involved in a music duo with another person, I also felt like I wanted to work with other people… I thought it was good timing, so I said “OK.”

– On the other hand, Nakata-san, what kind of first impression did you have of Koshijima-san?

Nakata: My first impression of her? …To put it nicely, she was very interested in what other people were doing? Koshijima: That sounds kinda bad (laughs).

– (laughs). How so?

Koshijima: It’s like saying I’m nosy? Nakata: You were popping up all over the place (laughs). Like anywhere that there were people, you would show up... Or at least that’s what I noticed. It wasn’t even humanly possible, the way you managed to be everywhere. You’d be there before I even realized it. Koshijima: (laughs)

– Promoting yourself is important though.

Koshijima: That’s right. Nakata: She’s the type to show off when she does anything even remotely fun. I would take photos with my friends at concerts and stuff, and she’d show up in the background even though I didn’t know her at all. I was like, “Why are you in this picture?” (laughs) Koshijima: Like you were thinking “who the hell is this?” (laughs)

– Would you say that the reason you ran into each other so often was because you were both pursuing music?

Koshijima: That, and the live houses were reeeally small. Nakata: Plus we were in the same grade level.

– Did you go to the same high school?

Koshijima: We went to different schools. We met by chance at local venues.

¹ The duo Koshijima was in with another girl was called “chick.” ² I’m not sure what staff members he’s referring to here.

[lunarfleur]

Dating Dwayne Robertson hcs!

I’ve been thinking ab him nonstop and it’s Liz’s fault.

Lizzie ( @juneberrie ) this is for you 🫵🏻

So first I would like to mention that he canonically drinks his respect women juice

Anyways

Most definitely calls you “darlin’” and “hun” the most

“Lover” also happens a lot too

And occasionally “sugar” when he wants to be funny

Definitely plays his guitar for you when y’all are alone

He would definitely skip practice to keep kissing you

Which is how you got your saying, “get along, cowboy.”

Holds doors for you because he’s cute like that

He has these weird Texan metaphors that you honestly don’t understand

But I don’t actually think they’re Texan

It’s just him ig

Cuddling with him is a golden experience

Mainly because he’s so good at making you relax

Likes being in a position where he can whisper in your ear and/or kiss your head

Speaking of kissing

Lip kisses are mostly a private thing for some reason

Of course they happen in public sometimes

But there isn’t really a reason for it

They just don’t happen all that often

But he does kiss your face and hands a lot

Anywhere, anytime

It’s quiet common for you to be tucked into his side, receiving a kiss to the temple whenever he feels it’s necessary

With his friends, when he gets overly excited, he uses kisses as a reminder that he hasn’t forgotten about you

You’re probably close with a few of his friends from the hockey team

That’s just how it is

Now let’s talk about jealousy

It’s pretty rare for Dwayne to get jealous

He doesn’t really like to worry about it because he knows you two have an honest open relationship

He trusts you is what I’m trying to say

He knows that if there’s anything important to talk about, you’ll come to him eventually

But if he ever senses that someone you’re talking to has negative intentions he’s quick to pull you into him

He makes it known you’re taken, but he doesn’t act immature about it

If someone makes a move on you, he’s especially quick to give them a harsh shove away from you with a nasty look

He makes it clear that you can talk to him about anything

Going back to the topic of important discussions

Dwayne likes honesty

So when you do come to with something important, he’s all ears

He listens and reacts as best as possible

He doesn’t really like yelling at you, so if his reaction is negative it’s a lot of huffing and mumbling under his breath

Dwayne had a pretty positive upbringing

And one thing he learned from his parents is to never go to bed angry

You guys are young, but he’s well aware of what certain things can do to certain people

So he doesn’t let you go home until you’re fully reminded that he loves you no matter what

And even if he’s upset, nothing will change that

As I said, yelling doesn’t happen too often

It probably happens about once out of every 10 arguments

So you guys sit down, discuss whatever it is, and he makes sure he kisses you afterwards

He own this necklace

It’s a string with a small, wood turtle hanging off of it

He gave it to you when your relationship reached 6 months

Moving on

He has a very rowdy family

It’s quite loud, very entertaining

You can’t do anything to calm them down

So if that’s not your thing, just tell him and he’ll keep them away from you

He has a lot of cousins

Like way too many

And they’re all just sweet idiots with heavy southern accents

When it comes to you Dwayne is very good at remembering

He remembers your favorite things and your hobbies and what you don’t like

So I present you this:

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

3, 5, 14, and 17 for the character ask game!! OH and I need to choose a character. Umm either Ghostbur or Phil (that's a person, right? I'm pretty sure it is but I don't know for sure)

Hello, friend! And yes, both of those guys are characters :D I shall answer for both of them!!

Ghostbur

Obscure headcanon

Hmm… this is a good question for Ghostbur :0 He’s a very obscure man.

He collects books! But not just history books (which he canonically reads) but all sorts of books; ancient books, religious texts, poem books, psalms, series, novels, fiction, non-fiction, short stories, fables, and on and on and on!

No one really knows where he gets them all lol

Best personality trait

EEEEEEEE

SO MANY!!! BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE LENGTH OF THIS POST I SHALL ONLY FOCUS ON ONE!!!

His compassion and care for people :) No matter what the situation was, Ghostbur always paid attention to the well-being of others, and tried to help them as much as he possibly could.

That’s why he visited Tommy so much during Exile, and kept him company and gifted him the compass.

That’s why he gave Blue to almost everyone he came across, in an effort to make them less sad.

That’s why Ghostbur encouraged Tubbo, and told him that he was doing great :)

Like… okay, I could go on and on about this alsgajfsjafsgs but his care for others is near-unmatched, and it’s very sweet :’)

Most heroic moment

REEEEEEEEEEEE

I think that confronting Phil after Doomsday was pretty brave of him—and goodness, was Ghostbur scared. He was so very scared, but he talked anyway, and he let himself be open and honest and raw, and even though Phil didn’t do the greatest job with responding, I still think that Ghostbur was very brave, then :’) I freaking love that scene.

OH AND ALSO WHEN DREAM WAS LOOKING FOR TOMMY!!! And Ghostbur did his very best to lie in order to protect Tommy 😭 It was sksgajsgajfshaf it was so wholesome, it was so adorable my goodness that scene is the greatest ajdgsjsgajgshg

Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

:)))

Well. I um. I have a playlist. For Ghostbur. It is twenty-three hours long.

SO THERE’S THAT!!! But to name a few specific songs, I’d go with…

Married Life - Michael Giacchino

The Secret Place (acoustic) - Phil Wickham

Taking Care Of Things by Cavetown

Turning Out by AJR

Phil

Obscure headcanon

HE DRINKS TEA BOILING HOT. LIKE. I’M TALKING AS SOON AS IT’S OFF THE KETTLE, HE STARTS DRINKING. DOES NOT WAIT FOR IT TO COOL DOWN. DOES NOT BLOW THE STEAM AWAY. JUST STARTS DRINKING.

It’s mortifying.

Best personality trait

Aww :D

He’s a very steady guy; he’s not super emotional or conflicted, and rather chooses something and sticks with that something, whether it’s a person or a cause.

And goodness, does he care about the people he chooses! He’s such a sweet and kind guy, especially towards Techno and Wilbur (after Wilbur was revived). His love for those two is awesome :)

Most heroic moment

Hmm… okay, let me think on this for a minute.

Honestly? Doomsday comes to mind. Which is weird for me, because I definitely don’t agree with Phil’s actions when it came to Doomsday—in fact, me and a friend had a whole argument about it, which lasted forty minutes! It was great lol

But, while I disagree with Phil’s opinions and decisions when it comes to Doomsday, I do understand him. I understand his dislike of L’manburg, because to him, L’manburg is what took away his son, and L’manburg is what hurt Techno, and L’manburg is what changed Tubbo, and L’manburg caused so many problems and is not worth the pain that went with it. At least, that’s what Phil believed.

And I get it! I really honestly get it! I don’t agree with it, but I get it!

And like one of my friends said, Phil was willing to be the one that everyone hated by blowing up L’manburg; he was willing to be the bad guy. He was willing to be seen as evil or a traitor, as long as it meant that L’manburg was gone and that no more awful things could happen because of L’manburg existing. Phil was willing to be the bad guy if it meant he was “doing the right thing”.

And I think that’s brave. I don’t necessarily think it was right, but I do think it was brave.

So probably that :)

Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

EYYYYYYY :D

Here’s a few songs that make me think of this birb guy <3

Icarus - Bastille

Flying - Cody Fry

The Star-Spangled Banner - Chase Holfelder

creature - half alive

[junglekarmapippa]

Robbie on Robbie #18: and I’d like to sing a song that says that you’ll be fine, but now you know me so you know that I’d be lying.

(From Motherfucker)

RJ grabbed his guitar and sat on his chair. His students were downstairs, cleaning the restaurant after a rather busy day.

Meanwhile, RJ had a lot to think about, mostly about the Phantom Beast and how powerful and brutal they were. He plucked the strings distractedly as he processed all the information he had gathered.

There was also the issue of the Spirit Rangers. RJ figured they worked the same way their zords did, a projection of the other Masters’ animal spirits that had taken a solid form, only instead of giant animals, they were humanoid. RJ wondered if his father had ever been a ranger when he was young and just had never told him. Same with Master Swoop.

But if they had, why would they keep it a secret?

He continued plucking the strings as he thought and was so lost in thought he didn’t hear the others come up, ready for dinner and bed.

“Hey man,” Dom called, pulling RJ out of his musings. “Do you take requests? Because that is unnerving.”

“Shoot” RJ said, looking at them.

“Why don’t you sing us a song you want to sing?” Lily requested. “Any song you want to sing.”

“No!” Dom yelled. “He’s going to sing us an acoustic version of ‘Barbie Girl’,” he whined.

“Very funny, Dom,” RJ said with a smirk. “I don’t feel like singing ‘Barbie Girl’ today, to be honest.”

“Then what would you like to sing?” Casey asked.

“‘Show me the meaning of being lonely’ by the Backstreet Boys?” RJ offered.

“Damn, that’s depressing,” Dom said, spreading peanut butter on a slice of bread.

“Well, I’d like to sing a slow song,” RJ said, correcting his own posture with the guitar. “And I’d like to sing a song that says that you’ll be fine,” he said, looking at his students. “But now you know me, so you know that I’d be lying.”

The three boys laughed at the comment, but Lily noticed RJ wasn’t laughing, his attention back to the guitar strings. He wasn’t joking.

“Guys,” she told the others to stop their laughter. RJ started playing the first chords of “I want it that way” by the Backstreet Boys, and he noticed his mistake very quickly.

He tapped his fingers against the guitar angrily. “Damn it!”

“Hey,” Lily said, walking to him. “We like that one too.”

“My mind is all over the place,” he said.

Lily arrived next to him, and the boys were also making their way from the kitchen.

“What is it?” Lily asked.

“It’s nothing,” RJ dismissed, his eyes still on the guitar. There were a couple of seconds of silence, during which RJ closed his eyes. Suddenly, he yelled: “I can’t remember the right song!”

“It’s okay,” Casey said. “”It’s just a song.”

“No, it’s not,” RJ replied. “My mind is all over the place, I’m drowning in worry, I haven’t had a good night sleep in months, “ he looked at Casey, Theo, and Lily. “I can’t help you,” he admitted.

“You are an amazing master,” Casey told him. “I have learnt so much from you.”

“You have been invaluable to us,” Lily told him.

“We’d be dead if you hadn’t rescued us,” Theo told him. “Three times!”

“Yeah, but the fights to come—“

“We have you,” Lily said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “And Dom. We’ll be fine.”

Casey knelt in front of him. “You have helped us. We’ll be fine.”

“We’ll take ‘I want it that way’,” Dom said, turning to go back to the kitchen. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Something to loosen the knot in my stomach,” RJ told him, and his student smiled at him.

“PB&J it is!” Dom called.

“Dom!” RJ called from his chair. “You haven’t learned how to cook anything else in all these years?”

“Nope. I didn’t have to!”

RJ went back to his guitar and started playing the requested song.

As he sang, his brain went through all the possibilities of harm that could come to his students. He looked at them, and they were singing back, except for Theo. They were so carefree and relaxed.

He shook his head and told himself to enjoy the moment. They’ll burn those bridges when they come to them, or however the saying went.

[jezfletcher]

1000 Albums 2022: Albums #15-6

I’m saving just my Top 5 albums for my final post this year, but today we’ll cut through those which are just on the fringe, and that includes some of my Top 10 albums of the year after all, which means they’re in the top 1% of all the music I listened to this year.

All of these are worth a listen, and like with my last entry, I've attempted to add embedded streaming for representative tracks. Where possible, these are via Bandcamp, which still seems to be the best way to support artists. I've also used Soundcloud if available, but finally resorted to YouTube if necessary. Give them a look, anyway. Anyway, let's get into it...

15. IV and the Strange Band - Southern Circus (contemporary country)

Southern Circus by IV and The Strange Band

Coleman Williams is the great-grandson of country icon Hank Williams (hence "IV"), but has forged his own path musically, and delivers something surprisingly novel on this, his debut album. He takes some classic country tropes and ramps them up with a kind of punk intensity. It's almost like pushing the north poles of two magnets together—there's something thrilling about the conflict, and it makes for a raucous, exciting experience. It manages to be completely true to its roots, but also somehow completely modern at the same time. My personal favourite track is the rock-driven Deep Down, but I'm calling out here I'm Gonna Haunt You, which I think gives a great illustration of the synergy between old and new. You'll like it if you like: country, but want more of an edge to it.

14. Everything Everything - Raw Data Feel (indie pop)

Raw Data Feel by Everything Everything

I was a little conflicted about this album, to be honest. When this hits right, it really hits right. In fact, for quite a while I thought this had a good chance of being my #1 album of the year. So why is it languishing here at the shameful position #14? The truth is, this hits it out of the park with tracks like My Computer, Bad Friday and Leviathan, but it also has tracks where it swing and misses, and it ends up saying like a lot of other mid-level indie pop. It's a classic example of an album where you could have cut out 15-20m of content and made a much tighter album. That's not to try to put you off—after all, it might not be #1 of the year, but #14 is nothing to sniff at. It's just here on the strength of the very top tracks here. I'll leave you with my favourite track, My Computer. You'll like it if you like: slightly off-kilter pop where you can't quite tell what's weird about it.

13. Terence Etc. - VORTEX (experimental RnB)

V O R T E X by Terence Etc.

Terence Nance is a filmmaker, satirist and now recording artist, using the moniker Terence Etc. for his latest artistic pursuit. What he puts together in VORTEX is a really excellent blend of subversive poetry, jazz, hip-hop and soul. He has a really good sultry voice too which can absolutely ride the various modes he needs to adopt across an eclectic album. This is another album which is strong because of its whole composition, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have some brighter spots as well. I'll call out The Merchant of Flatbush; a great piece of music which finishes with a wonderful piece of poetry from Terences' purported lover. You'll like this if you like: a combination of Benjamin Clementine and clipping.

12. Bess of Bedlam - Dance Until The Crimes End (psych pop)

Dance until the crimes end by Bess of Bedlam

Bess of Bedlam is a French duo who play with dreamy psychedelic pop that spans electro and acoustic. But they really hit their sweet spot with their songwriting which weaves effortlessly through tonality and meter shifts, adding a sonic complexity which belies the slightly twee "French-ness" of their (English) lyrics, and the soft folk quality of Fanny L’Héritier's vocals. It's a really idiosyncratic album, and when you listen to (at least) 1000 albums every year, originality counts for a lot. I personally loved What Can We Wise Women Do as a track, but I think I'm going to call out here White Sea, which maybe better exemplifies the unusual elements of the album. You'll like it if you like: artistic European takes on pop.

11. The Crystal Method - The Trip Out (soiltronica)

There's always a place in a year for an album like this. It's not just that it's big, crunchy, breakbeat-forward electronica; it's big, crunchy, breakbeat-forward electronica from an artist who have been doing it well for 20 years. I also admit that there's very often an album in or near my Top 10 of the year which comes from an artist, like The Crystal Method, who I've loved for most of my life. This is another great example from them, as they collaborate with artists like Iggy Pop, former Prodigy guitarist Jim Davies, and rapper King Green but still let their beats do the talking. This is just a style of music I love, and one which we don't see enough of nowadays in my opinion. I'm glad TCM are still here providing us with the goods. My pick here is the (kinda) title track Let's Trip Out, featuring King Green. You'll like it if: you miss the electronica of my favourite year: yester.

10. Regina Spektor - Home, Before & After (anti-folk)

Regina Spektor is always a bit of a surprise for me. I feel like I like her "well enough", but I don't find myself excited from the get-go when she has a new album out. And even on the first pass through this album, where it won my Runner Up of the Week, it felt like it would eventually just fade into obscurity and a couple of years in the future I'd largely have forgotten it. But on relistening I really engaged with her poignant songwriting, her slightly ethereal vocal style and the way she can eke out the comforting and the sinister from the same material. It has a theatricality to it, but it's always used for storytelling. It's also a very rich collection of tracks—from folk pop to dark symphonic electronica. I've picked one of the pieces of dark chamber pop as my pick: Up the Mountain, but I also highly recommend the opening track Becoming All Alone, which is a great bit of storytelling and songwriting You'll like it if you like: excellent songwriting and excellent musicianship. That's basically all there is, right?

9. Lola Marsh - Shot Shot Cherry (noir pop)

Israeli duo Lola Marsh had one of my very top albums of 2020 with their debut Someday Tomorrow Maybe, and I was eagerly anticipating their follow-up, although with the trepidation that accompanies the difficult second album. So it was thrilling to me that they managed to very nearly match their first effort with this excellent album. It has their same sultry, dark-throated vocals—which do owe something to Lana Del Rey, something you always have to acknowledge with Lola Marsh—the atmospheric arrangements, and the moments of upbeat drive that almost make you want to take them to the dancefloor. I've gone the other direction in my pick here though, with the downtempo noir of Going Back, which is admittedly lifted straight from their first album in style. You'll like it if you like: their first album, and if you didn't like that, I probably can't help you.

8. First Aid Kit - Palomino (indie folk)

A fantastic album that I really forgot about until relistening, despite the fact that it only came out in Novermber. I've enjoyed First Aid Kit well enough in the past, but this is the first time where they've felt really completely polished and fully-formed to me. Each of these tracks is exquisitely produced into what you feel is its ideal form. The blended vocals, the harmonies, and the subtle but well-matched accompaniment in each track—they all add up to an almost crystalline perfect album. But that perfection often lacks a hook or an edge that makes you fall in love with an album, which is why it's not right at the very top here. I almost look at this critically and go "yes, I understand—it's extremely good", without feeling that pull right in my soul. I will say though that this is a great example of an album which knows when to quit—it comes in at a tidy 39-minutes, and it feels like there's a purpose to every track. I'm going to call out the opening track Out of My Head. You'll like it if you like: vocal harmony, solid songwriting, anything First Aid Kit has done in the last 10 years.

7. Crywolf - exuvium [OBLIVIØN pt. II] (experimental downtempo)

exuvium [OBLIVIØN Pt. II] by Crywolf

A truly eclectic and progressive mix of hard industrial rock with ambient downtempo electronica, Crywolf follow up their 2019 OBLIVIØN Pt. I, an album that we missed at the time, with this monumental effort which sounds at time like a less depressed Gary Numan, and at others sounds as though a 90s progressive electronica act decided to get really into shoegaze. In other words, it sounds a little like everything and nothing, and it certainly has the kind of novelty that makes me pay attention. It's hard to really single out tracks, because in isolation they don't give you a sense of the album as a whole, but a personal favourite moment is DATURA [paroxysm], so I'll leave you with that. You'll like it if you like: the music which plays in experimental theatre productions, but you wished worked just as well on its own.

6. Silversun Pickups - Physical Thrills (post-punk revival)

Physical Thrills by Silversun Pickups

This is a genre I've never really got behind in some ways, but which always has moments where it manages to surprise me. This is the year when Silversun Pickups really clicked for me—despite the fact that my brother has been trying to make it happen for at least 5 years now. There's just a really solid rock basis to this, which is accentuated with post-punk attitude and almost a sense of 00s indie rock irreverence. Moreover, there are some really great individual tracks which really stand out. Even the ones that aren't my particular picks maintain this same solidity. They feel like the kind of band that would be euphoric live (may I see them someday); the kind of music that you want to share with the world as one. I've got a couple of picks here, especially Stay Down (Way Down) which has a great pop rock drive that is layered with the edge of post-hardcore. But I'll highlight the opening track, Stillness (Way Beyond) , which really sets the scene for the whole album. You'll like it if you, unlike pre-2022 Jez, like: post-punk revival.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #074

Have you ever watched the sunrise? I have, more than once. What about the sunset? Yeup. Name a band that you think is beyond overrated: Uh, I gotta be honest, I REALLY don't know what's "in" these days. What’s your favorite sea creature? I visually REALLY like jellyfish, but as animals, I think sea turtles and whales are just fascinating. What’s your favorite acoustic song? Off the top of my head, "If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn" by Sleeping With Sirens. I actually don't really like the original, but the acoustic is magical and is absolutely one of those songs I've considered for my wedding.

Have you ever been inside a castle? I FEEL like I've been in the Disney World castle, but if that, that's it. I'd like to visit a real one one day. Do you own any pets? Types? Names? A gray and white cat named Roman that is some domestic shorthair mix, a champagne morph ball python named Venus, and Mom has a chihuahua named Cookie. What’s the worst illness that you’ve ever had? I guess technically Covid. As far as FEELING goes though, I suffered worst of all with a WICKED stomach virus I got sometime as a teenager. I would NOT stop throwing up, to the point barely even bile would come out. Is your best friend in love with someone? Meeeee. :') How many times have you sworn at your parents? AT them, I'm not sure, but I know I've told my mother "fuck you" once. THAT was a bad night. I would not be even remotely surprised if I called my dad awful things in the letter I wrote him after he abandoned the family. I hope I didn't, but... I did NOT think well of him for years after he just ditched us. Most interesting place you’ve ever visited? Uhhhh perhaps the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. It really sucks, I was just a little kid and dealing with HORRIFIC constipation to where I was just like crying the entire visit, so I didn't really get to enjoy it. I'd really like to revisit now as an adult. Have you ever had anything tailored? I know at least one prom dress was. Do your shoulder blades protrude? Ha, I wish. Prominent shoulder blades are UNREASONABLY hot to me lmao. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Uh, no. That's not something I would publicly do. Who is the last person you held hands with? Girt. :') Have you ever felt free after losing something once important to you? SomeONE, yes. Have you ever been to a rave? No, that's not something I want to do. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No, I feel like being in one of those would stress me out. What is the highest outdoor temperature you’ve ever had to endure? At least over 110*F, I know. Makes me wanna fuckin die. And the lowest? Ummm... MAYBE just barely single digits? But I don't think we've ever gone below the teens since I've been alive, and teens are super rare here. Do you let your pets on your furniture? Absolutely. This is their house, too, and therefore also their furniture, too. Do you know what things your pet(s) prefers to eat? I don't pay attention to what Cookie eats because Mom feeds her, but I can tell you she is VERY picky, apparently. Roman eats mostly normal, dry cat food (I don't know what brand; I fill his bowl from a tub full of whatever it is that Mom gets), but he normally does get a small dose of wet food in the morning, too, which he absolutely prefers. He sometimes just eats it too fast and hurls it back up, slskdjalsdkjfqwe. Venus is pretty darn easy, being a snake: she gets frozen/thawed medium-sized rats. What does your wallet look like? It's a really cool red, white, and black Harley Quinn design, in her cartoon style. Tell me about the last book you read. I'm currently reading Wings of Fire: Winter Turning; the WoF books tend to be VERY packed with plot twists and surprises, but I can tell you the main plot in this one follows a dragon named Winter trying to rescue his imprisoned brother while also trying to prevent his sister from killing the queen of a certain tribe to earn ANOTHER queen's favor, but it would cause war to erupt again without a doubt. There are lots more details, but that's like, the skeletal build of the primary plot. Who was the last person to leave you flustered? This might be TMI but Girt was trying to Cause Trouble with his family RIGHT IN THE NEXT ROOM when I was there on his birthday and "flustered" was one way to describe me LMAOOOOOO What are some bands others would be surprised to find in your music library? Ha ha I genuinely have a lot of Melanie Martinez and Jeffree Star on my iPod lmfaooooo How do you feel about kettle cooked chips? GROSS. Tell me something about yourself that you’re most proud of. Graduating in the top percentile of my graduating class in high school. I can literally see the plaque I got from the celebration dinner from where I'm sitting. I was smart ONCE upon a time... What do you like to dunk in your coffee, if anything? I don't drink coffee. What’s your favorite Elvis song? Probably "You're The Devil in Disguise." Would you rather see someone of the opposite sex naked or nicely dressed? I've mentioned this before, so even though I'm still into men sexually, penises themselves visually GROSS ME OUT so I'd definitely purely nicely dressed. What is the last thing you wrote down? I wrote my name on the sign-in thing at the doctor's office where I get my B-12 shots. Do you know of any home remedies that work surprisingly well? Uhhh maybe? Idk. What’s something you’ve never been able to live down? My mom recently told Girt's family the story of how I got upset when I tried orange juice with pulp in it and I complained "it has nipples in it!" when Mom asked why I didn't like it and they all couldn't fuckin breathe and I'm like idk man, my brain's been off since I came out my mama. 😭 Which of your friends has the coolest siblings? Honestly, probably Girt, ha ha. Ashley is SUPER fuckin cool, she rocks pure magenta curly hair while allowing her 10 y/o son to flaunt blue, ha ha. You don't really see parents willing to let their kid do that around here; I really respect her for letting her son express himself in such harmless ways. HAHA OH his birthday party is actually this weekend and his theme is fucking classic horror movie characters, it's great. HE IS TURNING TEN, Y'ALL. Does orange sherbet sound good right now? No, but I could actually definitely go for some pink/strawberry sherbet. Would black hair look good or bad on you? I've had black hair, and I liked it. Is there any song that makes you think of your dad? Any Van Halen song, because they're his favorite. Have you had any really bad experiences while plucking your eyebrows? In high school I actually had this really bad habit where I'd pluck my eyebrows out with my fingers alone when I was bored or thinking too much, and it once got so bad I nearly COMPLETELY destroyed one eyebrow, and the other was super fucked up too. I was majorly embarrassed. Have you ever read The Outsiders? I sure did, it was required in I wanna say 8th grade. It's one of my favorite books ever, even though I like... no longer remember the plot lmao I just remember I LOVED it. Have you ever taken a picture of you kissing someone? Yes, but those pictures don't exist anymore. What is the youngest age you can remember back to? Somewhere around three I think; I remember watching my brother go down the slide in our front yard into the fucking flood Hurricane Floyd left lmaoooo. What job would you NEVER take, even as a last resort? Butcher. FUCK no. Can you crack your neck? No but fucking Girt does a lot and it is LOUD and actually makes me scream alskdfjalwkejq What is the last thing you drank? I have strawberry-flavored sparkling water right now. Will this weekend be a good one? Probably; I'm going with Girt's family to a trampoline park for his nephew's b-day party. <3 Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yes, I LOVE doing that, save for feeling all gross and salty afterwards. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No, but that sounds like an ACTUAL dream. In your life who has meant the most to you? My mom. The psychiatrist I saw after my suicide attempt that completely changed my life (I'm still upset my insurance isn't compatible with him...). Teddy, Roman. Jason, once upon a time. Girt. What has been your biggest failure in life? Literally don't get me fucking started, I am NOT going there. Who do you trust the most other than yourself? My mom. Do you trust yourself? Honestly? No. It was a recent topic in therapy how for a VERY long time, I'm talkin' years, I've second-guessed my own intentions. It's the most frustrating fucking thing in the world, wondering if I did this and that for truly that reason, or this other bad one... if that makes any sense. I can't put into words how stressful the sensation is, questioning yourself and what you really want. Did you use tongue in your last kiss? Uh I suppose it's possible, we were alone in my room and Things Happened but idr if the last kiss before he left was like that. Do you have any alcohol bottles in your room? Nope. How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? I don't plan on having children. Safe sex, or no sex, correct? In my world, that's how it is. I am doing everything reasonable to absolutely never wind up pregnant. Which of the Pirates of the Caribbean was your favorite? I actually never watched those. Is your toothbrush manual or electric? Electric. Who was the last person to come to your house? Girt. Have you ever had pink eye? Nope. Does your significant other have any piercings? Nope. What is the last song you listened to with “song” in the title? Uh, I want to say "Happy Song" by Bring Me The Horizon. Do you like Adam Sandler? Yeah, he's fine. When, where, and to whom did you lose your virginity? Haven't yet. How many band shirts do you own? Which? Oh jeez, so many. Ozzy, Metallica, Otep, Manson, Korn, NSP, and I know with certainty there's more. Last song you sang in the shower? I don't sing in the shower, so. Have you ever had anything pierced that you don’t have now? Yep: tongue, nostril, ear cartilage, and anti-tragus of my ear. Do you have any twins/multiples in your family? Are they identical or fraternal? I'm quite sure no. What is the highest number of jobs you’ve had at one time? No more than one. I could never, EVER, handle two jobs. Hell, I can't even manage one. Is your mom a good mom? My mom is the best mom in the entire fucking world. What are your parents’ and their grandchildren’s names? Donna and Ken. Grandchildren between the two of them include Delia, Dillon, Diana, Gene, Greyson, Victoria, Erika, Aria, Christian, Asher, Aubree, Ryder, and Emerson. My dad does have another daughter that I've never met/know almost absolutely nothing about, so hell if I know if she has kids or not. Do you know what high school your father went to? No; my father was born and raised in Ohio so no location there he's ever mentioned really sticks with me/holds any significance to me. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yes. What are you stressed out about? Right now that my cyst is definitely back; I'm not gonna get graphic but the hole this type of cyst forms has reformed and is draining super badly soooo now I have to go get this looked at... Do you currently have a hickey? No, Girt doesn't do those. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? Yep, very. What do you think in general of girls with short hair? HOT!!!!!!!! How about guys with long hair? HOT!!!!!!!!!! Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Well yeah, I WOULD get an abortion if I was pregnant. There is no fucking way in heaven or hell I could raise a child right now and I am not offloading them onto someone else and being okay with it. What do you think of people who get abortions? It's none of my fucking business, nor is it the government's or really ANYONE'S besides the person with a baby in their fucking body. What was the last bug you killed? Probably an ant. If you could spend a year living in a foreign country, which would it be? Germany. Why did you make this particular choice? I'd just really like to visit there, but LIVING there would absolutely help me learn the language faster. What’s the longest you’ve ever been out of your state/province? Uhhhh... two weeks, I think? At LEAST two weeks, because I know that's how long I stayed with Sara one time. It's possible that I've stayed longer with Mom's family, but idr. Do you know anyone who has written a book? Well, I don't KNOW her, but a distant cousin wrote Not Without My Daughter. Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? No, that shit really grosses me out. Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewelry? Yes. Have you ever been friends with a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s siblings? Not really, no. Do you have any lingerie? Nah. What was the shortest amount of time you knew someone before dating them? However long Jason and I were "just friends." Just a few weeks. Which of your pets were you closest to in your lifetime? Teddy. Roman is very closely behind him. What last caused you jealousy? Do you think it was warranted? I don't want to talk about it. I don't know. What is your largest board on Pinterest? Probably my one full of fandom shit lmaoooo What was the name of the first guy/girl you dated? Aaron was the first person who ever had the "boyfriend" title. What was the name of the first guy/girl you want out on a date with? Like a one-on-one date, Jason. I know Aaron and I went to the skating rink once, but we were with friends. Have you ever had to go to a neurologist? I actually have an appointment with one coming up for my tremors, and also to check if my leg problems are actually a nerve-related issue (which I'm pretty much certain it's not). What's your favorite quote? I semi-recently saw a quote that said something like, "Don't put limits on your unlimited potential," and I loved it. I actually saved it in my phone. How many people do you know who work as hairdressers? List their names. At least two; the primary one my sisters and I (and sometimes Mom) see has a very unique name so I feel uncomfortable sharing it, and then my mom has another friend who likes to do hers named Anita. Have you ever filmed any TikToks? No, I don't even have an account. If you could meet any one YouTuber, which YouTuber would you choose to meet? Markiplier. Like, duh. Do you like the name Ellery? Ew, sorry but I don't at all. Reminds me of celery lmao. Which name do you like better: Felicity or Fiona? Both are beautiful, but I gotta go with Felicity. If you could join one dance class, which type of dance class do you think you'd most like to take? I LOVE modern-style dancing. I actually took modern when I DID do dance. I love how well it works with usually strange or more abstract music and REALLY tells a story. Does anyone in your family have diabetes? Diabetes runs severely through my family; my mom has it, as did her parents. I KNOW there are others, too.

[natashatraceromanoff]

dagger squad as a band + what instruments i think they would play:

Rooster — lead vocals/keys

do i even need to elaborate on this???

he’ll always suggest playing a song cover from the 80’s for their performances.

jake likes to make fun of bradley for his taste but we all know he secretly enjoys the 80’s too.

Hangman — acoustic guitar

jake knows how to play both the acoustic and electric guitar, but grew up playing the former a lot more which is why he prefers it.

now and then he’ll use that one lame joke about guitarists being the best kind of guys to date because they’re so good with their fingers

Phoenix — backup vocals

natasha’s voice mixes the best with rooster’s. without a doubt.

she’s the only one who can spontaneously blend with rooster’s singing, creating that super beautiful melody that just gives you an eargasm.

Coyote — electric guitar / backup dancer

javy gives off major rockstar vibes and can absolutely SHRED. i have an hc that he actually did a cover of “beat it” by michael jackson and you bet he killed that guitar solo!

but he also insists that the band needs some movement, some type of choreography during performances so he convinces them time and time again that he could be the backup dancer and hire some extra people or even each bob and hangman some dance moves.

i mean... have you seen the tiktok videos? tarzan can MOVE AND GROOVE!

Payback — bass guitar

i have no logical explanation for this. reuben playing the bass just makes sense. it’s a vibe and i’m here for it.

Bob — backup vocals / acoustic guitar

bob, much to everyone’s surprise, is actually a very good singer.

although it took him a while to learn to blend his voice with phoenix and rooster’s.

just like jake, i feel like bob grew up playing the acoustic guitar as well.

bob ended up learning how to play ALL the other instruments because he would ask his fellow band mates to teach him. and who could ever refuse??

Fanboy — drums

okay i’m gonna be very honest.... i literally created this whole hc of the dagger squad being a band purely because of danny playing the drums in look both ways 😭

i can imagine mickey constantly tapping his pen on the desk during classes, and making all these impromptu beats and reuben, instead of calling him out and telling him to quit it, would just bob his head along to the beat

bonus:

Maverick — captain momager

very much kris jenner vibes, is all i can say

during their performances, you’ll catch mav either in the audience taking videos and pictures or somewhere in the place selling dagger squad merchandise

[honeypiehotchner]

delicate -- Hotch x Reader one-shot

Here’s that one-shot I’ve been holding for a while! Named her delicate after Taylor Swift’s song, purely because of the whole “dive bar on the east side/where you at?” imagery. I listened to the Spotify Singles (acoustic) version of the song while writing this, if you wanna listen while you read! Enjoy!! xx.

Summary: Hotch doesn’t go to bars very often. Until he meets you at one.

Warnings: age gap (reader is somewhere around 24-25), mentioning of being safe at a bar (so alluding to date rape drugs), harassment from one drunk dickhead

Hotch Masterlist

Hotch doesn’t go to bars.

When he’s not on a case, working on paperwork for a case, or caring for his son, he’s normally asleep.

Not at a bar.

But some nights, the memories are too much. Some nights, the cases take a toll on him — especially the children that never made it back home to their parents.

He doesn’t know why he’s in a bar. The only time he comes is when the team goes out and wants to drag him with. It’s normally Dave who manages to get him to agree to a beer or two.

But Aaron is alone this time.

You, on the other hand, know exactly why you’re in a bar.

You’re bored, you’ve just finished your masters degree, you need a drink and some time to yourself to people-watch.

It’s fun, really. Observing people while they’re drunk. You usually have one drink and switch over to water, wanting to remember the things you see while also staying safe.

But occasionally— or, well, more than occasionally by the sheer unfortunate fact of you being a woman alone in a bar, you get the typical man sliding into the seat next to you before he’s even all the way through his rehearsed, “Is this seat taken?”

You never answer. There is no point in trying because their ass already hits the chair before you can say, “Yes, it’s taken, by my foot, now move before I kick it up your ass.”

You never say that, not often. Sometimes the guys can be pretty big assholes, but the bartender, Vanessa, knows you well, so she usually threatens security before you get yourself in trouble.

Unfortunately, tonight looks like it’s going to be one of those nights.

The bar is packed for a reason you aren’t privy too until you see (and hear) the random band start a new song. Great. Performance.

Still, you snag the last seat at the bar, waving to the bartender when she sees you. You barely get the seat warm before she’s sliding your usual in front of you.

“It’s on the house tonight,” she yells.

“What?” You shake your head. “No the fuck it’s not.”

She leans closer so she doesn’t have to yell as loud. “You are my saving grace in this sea of assholes, so yes it is. We can fight about it later.”

“Fine,” you roll your eyes. You dip your hands underneath the bar to switch your diamond ring from your right to left hand.

Tonight, you’re married.

You got this ring when your last relationship ended so badly. It was a long time coming, and once you were finally able to see the other side, you went out and bought yourself an engagement ring. Just for you. A promise to yourself to start loving yourself harder, and going out with dickheads less.

So far, it’s been wonderful. You’re loving being alone. It was exhausting going on so many first dates, trying to love someone else instead of letting yourself heal.

It’s been two years of singleness for you now, and you’ve loved almost every day.

The “wedding” ring usually makes most of the guys turn the other way. A few that are oblivious will try talking to you, but once they glance at your hand, they excuse themselves.

It’s hysterical, if you’re honest.

But some, unfortunately, don’t give a damn.

Like the guy who has just squeezed his way into the seat next to you.

You roll your eyes and prepare yourself for the shallow conversations because, for some ungodly reason, the band decided now was a good time for a break.

“You come here often?”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. “Nope.”

“It’s a pretty good place,” the guy says, waving down the other bartender, his name is Nick. “You should come here more often.”

“Should I, now?”

“Yeah,” the guy grins. “You’ll see me.”

You roll your eyes so hard it nearly hurts.

“Wanna dance?”

“Not in the mood.”

“Can I buy you another drink?”

“No thanks.”

“Can I get you anything?”

“Why, do you work here?”

“Look, I’m just trying to be nice.” Ah, there it is. The “nice guy” line.

You turn your head, raising an eyebrow. “Good for you. I’m not interested.”

“Ooh,” he feigns hurt, holding an open hand to his chest. “Ouch.”

You shrug. “You’ll get over it.”

“Damn.”

“Mm.”

“You sure you don’t wanna dance?”

“I’m married,” you say easily, picking your glass up with your left hand to show off your ring. You don’t drink from your glass because you made the mistake of looking away for only a moment, so now you’re paranoid that he might’ve slipped something in it.

The guy looks around, then back to you. “I don’t see a husband.” Oh, he sounds so smug. Like he’s pulled one over on you. Moron.

“He’s on a work trip.”

“Well, he’s not here.”

“You don’t want to get on his bad side, dude.”

“Oh really? What’s he do for a living?”

“He works for the FBI.” The lie slips from your mouth before you can stop it, and you almost laugh.

It’s something you’ve pulled from the countless guys that have said they work for the FBI, but have no badge to show for it. It’s always cracked you up. You’re aware there’s an FBI office around here, but you doubt a greasy, blackout drunk works for them. Let alone more than five greasy, blackout drunks in one night.

“The FBI, huh?” The guy says, just taking it in stride. “What’s his name?”

Right as you’re about to make one up until Vanessa can get back over here to threaten security, two arms slip around your waist.

You’re ready to throw caution to the wind along with your fists, but the owner of the arms says, “Just go with it, I’m Aaron.”

You turn your head to see a very handsome older man peering down at you, a smile on his lips that you can’t help but mirror. Something about his face has your gut screaming that you can trust him, so you play along.

“Honey! I thought you were in Texas!” You throw your arms around his neck for good measure, and also for a moment to casually get a good whiff of his cologne. Goddamn. You’ll gladly be his fake-wife. Any day. Forever.

“I was,” Aaron says, squeezing you before letting you go. He moves to stand next to you, his arm around your waist in a protective manner. “We landed early, wanted to surprise you.” He kisses your knuckles to keep up the act, and then settles his eyes on the man who was bothering you.

“You must be the husband,” the guy mutters bitterly. “You really work for the FBI?”

Oh, fuck, you think. This guy just doesn’t give up. A few future scenarios flash before your eyes, but the one most alarming is a fight erupting, which isn’t all that far-fetched. You’d never be able to come back if you caused something like that.

But before you can stumble through some excuse, Aaron is pulling out a badge. An actual badge.

“Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner. I’m the unit chief of the BAU,” he says easily, holding his badge out for as long as it takes the guy to inspect it. You have no clue what BAU stands for, but you’re just thanking whatever Gods might be real that this is happening.

The idiot is scowling by the time Aaron puts his badge away. He leaves without a word.

Your jaw nearly drops as you watch the guy go, and literally leave the bar. You had hopes that he’d leave you alone, but leaving the bar entirely is even better.

Aaron’s arm slips from around your waist as he moves to take the now empty seat next to you. All the while you’re gawking at him like you’re in some fever dream.

When he catches your eyes, he says, “What?”

“Am I dreaming?” You blurt. “Do you really work for the FBI?”

He chuckles and pulls out his badge again, holding it out to you where you can read it. And sure as shit, he’s an actual FBI agent. What the fuck.

You look up as he pulls his badge away. “Did you hear me tell the guy my husband worked for the FBI?”

Aaron shakes his head. “That was pure luck. By the way,” he holds his hand out to you. “I’m Aaron.”

“Y/N,” you shake his hand, smiling at the fact that Aaron wanted to go through the official pleasantries and that you got to feel how soft his hand is again. “Thank you for that. I thought he’d never leave.”

“No worries. And it’s best he did, I really didn’t feel like arresting anyone tonight.”

“Arresting him? For what?”

“Well for starters, harassment. But since that usually doesn’t hold up very well, I’d have to say it was for his cocaine addiction.”

Your eyes widen. “He was doing coke?”

“Well, not out in the open, of course, but there were traces of it on his nose and his eyes had that look to them. Addicts are easy to spot when you run into them enough.”

Who the hell is this guy?

“Oh, and forgive me, what’s your husband’s name?” Aaron gestures down at your left hand. “I might know him, but I can’t say that I recognize you.”

“Oh,” you move the ring back to your right hand, much to Aaron’s surprise. “I’m not married. I only put it on the left hand to try to avoid assholes like that.”

“I see,” Aaron nods, and if you’re not mistaken, he almost looks pleased.

Vanessa returns to get Aaron’s drink, and then gives you a look.

You want to scream, yes, I’m well aware he is dangerously attractive and that he’s talking to me but don’t you dare say a word to embarrass me.

Instead, you say, “Can you make me another?”

She nods in understanding and pours out your drink, setting off to make a second after sliding Aaron his beer.

“So,” you turn your body and prop your head in your palm. “What’s got an FBI agent in a bar on a Tuesday night?”

He takes a long swig of his beer before answering. “What’s the real story behind that ring on your hand?”

“Answer for an answer,” you sing, smiling at Vanessa when she brings you your drink. She leaves without a word, raising her eyebrows at you.

“The cases can be rough,” Aaron says vaguely, bringing your attention back to him. “You?”

“Got it as a promise to myself to never date another prick ever again,” you chuckle, gazing down at the ring. “It’s worked its magic, so far.”

“So far?”

“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

He smiles through his next swig of beer.

+++

It becomes a routine, you and Aaron sharing a drink at the bar.

To your surprise, he has the same views as you about alcohol. It’s fun to have one drink, but getting wasted and blacking out isn’t.

It’s refreshing, if you’re honest. Everyone your age wants to get absolutely shitfaced every time they go out, and that’s just never been for you.

It helps that Aaron is older. Well— You’re not sure if it helps or not. Because he is significantly older, the farthest you two have gone is sharing a drink at the bar. He usually leaves first, needing to get home to his son, to do more case work, or there was one time when he actually got a call about a case mid-drink. He was gone for two weeks after that.

But he always comes back, and he always finds you here, at this bar.  

You mostly come every night to keep Vanessa company for an hour or two. To give yourself a break from the chaos of reality and to give her a familiar face in the sea of drunken customers.

Every night that Aaron isn’t here, Vanessa asks you where he is. Like you would know (you only do if he tells you of a possible up and coming case). Like you have his number (you don’t). Like you care (you don’t want to admit that you do).

“No Daddy tonight?” Vanessa teases, sliding you your drink.

“If you don’t stop calling him Daddy, I swear to God.”

“Oh, don’t swear to Him. He doesn’t need to get involved.”

You send a glare her way, but you’re holding back a laugh.

“Is he still on a case?” She asks, trying to be serious again.

You shrug. “Who knows. They can last pretty long. He was gone two weeks for the last one.”

“Keeping track, are we?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Shut up.”

“I’m just saying, you two are killing me here, sharing drinks and not saying how you feel. It’s torture to watch you every week, you know.”

“He’s like...twenty years older than me. Or something.”

“And?” She scoffs. “Age is but a number. You’re an adult. He’s an adult. It’s fine.”

You shrug. “He probably just sees me as a friend. He would’ve given me his number or something by now, right?”

“I dunno, men are weird. But he’s older, he’s probably scared to make a move, scared he’ll make you uncomfortable.”

You shrug again. You appreciate her trying to show you the possibilities, the logical reasons for why the two of you haven’t gone any further from the bar, but you aren’t sure what to believe. Plus, it’s been a week since you’ve seen him. The last time you two shared a drink, he didn’t say anything about a case.

So, he’s either on a case again, or has stopped coming.

The latter thought has you debating getting shitfaced wasted for the first time in years. Being blackout drunk would probably hurt you less than if it’s true that he’s just suddenly ditched you.

But what stops you is when Vanessa runs back over, eyes wide. “Just spotted your hottie.”

Oh, now he’s my hottie? “What?” You inwardly scold yourself for sounding a little too giddy at the prospect of him being here. 

But if he’s here, why isn’t he sitting next to you?

Vanessa answers that one for you. “At a table in the back. He’s with friends I think.”

Friends? Never mind then on sharing a drink with him. “Oh, cool.”

Vanessa looks like she wants to say something, but is called away to another customer.

You don’t want to butt in with Aaron’s time with friends, so you stay at the bar, facing forward, nursing your one drink. Your mind conjures a plan in two seconds flat: finish your drink, head out for the night and discreetly look in Aaron’s direction, hopefully catch his eye, but if not, just go home and...shower and go to sleep.

Because if he wants to see you, he will. If he doesn’t, then he won’t.

Good plan.

Or at least, it is, until Aaron is sliding up beside you.

Your heart launches itself into your throat. You don’t say anything because you have no idea what to say. You were too busy assuming he’d rather be with his friends (which is...fine because it’s not like the two of you are...dating) to notice him walking up.

He says something for you, though. “Hey.”

Well, he might as well have stayed silent. What are you supposed to do with that?

“Hey,” you return casually, then offer a small smile. “Thought you’d be gone longer.” You operate on the assumption that he was on a case.

And he was. “This one actually worked in our favor.” He leans his elbows onto the bar, and naturally your eyes follow the movement. He’s not in a stuffy suit like the last few times, but he’s still in a dress shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

Arms. You’re a complete sucker for arms, and he’s practically teasing you like this.

“That’s good,” you comment, taking a sip from your drink. “Here to celebrate?”

“Yeah, we are.”

Nick brings Aaron his beer, thankfully, because you know Vanessa would’ve made some not-so-vague comment about Aaron being up here -- and maybe let an “accidental” Daddy comment slip.

To your surprise, Aaron sits down.

Your eyebrows furrow. “I thought you’re here with friends?”

Aaron looks over his shoulder and shrugs. “Just my team, yeah. I imagine they’re tired of me, though.”

You doubt that’s the case, but you know that if you say that, he’ll just brush it off.

“Not even gonna introduce me?” You tease instead, but you honestly want to smack yourself. You need to get a better hold on your word vomit. Inviting yourself is insanely rude.

Aaron’s eyebrows raise slightly, clearly not expecting you to say that — or to even want to be introduced to his team. “They’re a lot,” he says. “They’ll make a big deal out of this.”

“This?” You question, gesturing shortly between the two of you. “What is this?”

“What do you want it to be?” He asks carefully, averting his eyes shyly.

“Well,” you exhale dramatically, swirling your drink. “I think when you’ve shared a drink with a woman more than...twenty times, it should at least be considered dating.” You cut your eyes in his direction, your chest swelling as you see a grin breaking out on his face.

“I think I’m a bad date,” he says, confusing you. He chuckles, adding, “You don’t even have my number!”

“I’ll get it at the end of tonight,” you say, touching his arm gently for reassurance. “Come on, I think the back of my head is burning from how hard they’re staring.”

He looks through the corner of his eyes and sighs. “I’m sorry in advance for them.”

“No need to apologize,” you shrug. “Friends can be the worst. Vanessa has already started asking questions about you.” You nod toward the bartender that is feigning interest in clearing a space behind the bar.

“I figured,” Aaron murmurs. “Okay.” He slides off the stool, grabbing his beer in one hand, and holding his other one out to you.

Your heart jumps harshly when you take his hand. It’s warm and soft and secure, everything you want and need. You grab your drink in your free hand, giving Aaron’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

As soon as you and Aaron approach the table, the older gentleman is punching the one with tattoos. “Pay up.”

Aaron witnesses the cash exchange and stares at them tiredly. “Seriously, guys?”

Meanwhile, you’re holding back a giggle.

“Well, hello,” the woman with the colorful fashion sense says. “Introduce us!”

Aaron looks ready to pretend like he doesn’t know any of them, so you step up and say, “He told me you guys would be like this.”

That gets him laughing, and he finally says, “Y/N, this is Penelope, Emily, JJ, Spencer, Derek, and Dave.” Each person nods, waves, or smiles when their name is called.

“I’ll try to remember,” you joke. “But no promises.”

You squeeze Aaron’s hand in yours, trying to get him to loosen up. He does, barely, so when he tugs on your hand, silently asking you to step closer to him so his arm can fit around your waist, you oblige.

“What was the bet about?” You ask, nodding toward the men who exchanged cash a bit ago. It was Dave and Derek if you’re remembering names correctly.

“Rossi thought Hotch was going to bring you back over here, but I didn’t agree,” Derek says, nudging Dave’s arm. “I didn’t think you’d go for him.”

“Well, that’d be embarrassing if I went for someone else, considering we’re dating,” you chuckle, leaning your head back to look up at Aaron.

“Dating? So it’s official?” Emily asks, looking a little more excited than you thought any of them would.

“I think it was official the first time we met,” you snicker. “He pretended to be my husband so some dickhead would leave me alone.”

Aaron’s arm tightens around your waist at the memory.

“Okay,” Penelope grabs her drink, then moves over next to you, linking your arm with hers. “Hotch, we’re stealing her. We need details.”

Aaron doesn’t look like he wants to let go at all, but you press a kiss to his cheek. “Told you it’d be fine,” you whisper to him.

He surprises you by pressing a kiss on your lips. Midway through, your brain reminds you that this is technically your first kiss with him. And it’s in front of his friends. Swoon.

After so many dates with guys who were ashamed to be showing any sort of affection toward a woman, it’s nice to find a man who doesn’t care who sees his affection.

What can you say? After dating so many boys, it’s nice to finally find a man.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 14 June ‘21

Louis Tomlinson Cooks is here!! Yeah it’s 100% for sure as delightful to watch Louis make himself a sandwich as you might have hoped, but how was his cooking? Well I’ll let Louis rate himself-- “I’m not gonna lie not that appetizing is it, I mean look at it,” he says when it comes time to taste his creation, plus, “chopping peeling slicing not great to be fair- everything else I’m all right” (he’s… not wrong, even aside from the peeler issues has this man ever held a knife??) but- “it probably tastes nice though as I said it’s not about presentation for me… [munches cutely]... it’s actually pretty banging, that’s actually quite nice!” Success! Maybe it’s cause he knows the secret to faking good cooking- “as you can see I don’t have a lot of cooking ability so the more butter the better,” I mean the experts can tell you, that’s advanced stuff right there! #Louis-aChild! Substituting mustard and ketchup for coleslaw is a bit of a bold move, but in a belated attempt to convince the kiddos to eat some healthy veg even though he won’t he does bravely try the cucumber strips despite being “not really a man for cucumber” and makes a pained attempt to be positive- “bit of crunch.” Oh and speaking of crunch I’m relieved to have learned that the waffle is NOT a waffle, it’s a crispy waffle shaped bit of potato; a much more reasonable fish sandwich addition than the American version of a potato waffle! Full Time Meals polled to see what people think of Louis cooking; the two choices are “it was amazing” and “the best,” THEY GET IT. My kind of Louis poll! Helen Seamons rated him a “10/10 for effort and entertainment”, Masterchef acknowledged Louis as one of their own, and Marcus Rashford keeps it simple- “my guy” with a lil heart. YEAH, SAME.

Harry showed up in Italy, where he was papped in Venice being driven around (with PA Luis) on a boat (as you do, in Venice). He’s in a cool embroidered Bode shirt and shades and fancy hair, looking good. He’s seen carrying his suitcase, taking photos, and resting his head on his arms looking like a model. One might think, since we just saw the My Policeman cast and crew on set celebrating the wrap of the shoot, that they were done filming and Harry was off to do something different, but nope, he’s there to film! The book has key scenes in Venice that folks had been wondering about the filming of, and David Dawson is also being boated around Venice for the paps, so, it seems that was just for the wrap of the *UK* filming, which makes sense I guess since it would mostly be different crew I imagine, and perhaps some of the main cast are done as well.

Liam’s NFT sale is happening tomorrow! If you’re confused and want more info, I’M NOT GONNA HELP THAT MUCH… uh but I mean you can check out Liam’s youtube video explaining though I would guess that won’t help much (even Liam thinks so; “there’s probably websites that explain a lot better than me” he admits). There is a roundup now posted of what’s on offer for the buyers of the NFTs but I’m gonna be really honest with you, I’m more confused now than I was before. It’s clear that there are only SIX LONELY BUG NFTs right? They for sure said that I believe. But the packages for each different piece (token bundles) seem to me like they’re available to multiple buyers? Like maybe you don’t get the NFT but multiple top bidders on each get the extras? Like they can’t be selling multiple copies of the NFT... can they?! Isn’t the WHOLE POINT that only one person gets to own it? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW I AM SORRY. What I think I understand to be true: the six NFT buyers get to go to “a once-in-a-lifetime immersive dining experience at Resorts World Las Vegas” (this is the dinner with Liam and “a selection of crypto leaders from around the world” which takes place on display inside a giant glass box) and also “a bespoke commemorative presentation box containing the world’s leading holographic display... with audio... and a custom made Lonely Bug commemorative coin,” and “a unique QR code directing the owner to a special ‘Director’s Cut’ edit of the short digital film ‘Making Of Lonely Bug Collection’ which features unreleased footage from the day of the drop showing the creators' reactions when the winning bids came in” (I mean YEAH I would think it’s unreleased it literally hasn’t happened?) But then there are really a lot of other extras including tickets with Meet & Greet access to any Liam Payne headline show around the world, admission to pool and cinema parties in Vegas with Liam, signed art, non-Liam extras (I will literally bid to NOT have 20 minute phone calls with those crypto entrepreneurs PLEASE… but that’s just me), and access to an online party hosted by Liam; I really get the impression many of these, especially the last one, are just crypto tokens that are for sale that aren’t linked to the main Lonely Bug NFTs and many more than 6 people can buy them but a lot of the extras I’m not clear on which it is. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll understand better WE WILL SEE.

Liam also dropped by the discord last night to say some hellos (after a “long long day”) and that he “bought a piece of NFT art of myself tonight I’m going to give it as a prize Monday night so someone can own a piece of art that was owned by me” (an even less tangible bragging point than simply owning an NFT wow that’s an achievement) and the most important update- “I want a French Bulldog”! Oh and he said “that’s like one I did myself” in his fanart channel to a pic of a tiny crocheted illustration of Louis and Harry holding up a rainbow flag. Didya Liam?? (...Liam is crocheting??) Anyway I recognize who it’s supposed to be because it’s based on a familiar piece of fanart, but Liam definitely might NOT realize it’s meant to be someone specific, and tbh I’m more <eyeballs> at him saying that at the rainbow flag crocheted thing than at it being shippy.

Our Song acoustic version is out this Friday!! And Niall talked about NH3 some in an interview today; “I’m in the studio most days, it feels really good. I’m kinda in the latter stages of it and then I’ll go get a band together and go in and record the whole thing. I’ve just kind of been writing for the past 9 or 10 months and really enjoying it” and “It sounds like a complete album. God knows when it’s coming out because I’d like to be able to get around the world to see all the fans as well” and “It’s different. It sounds a lot more grown up. I’m 27 so it’s about time. I really wanted to kinda cement a sound. The singles I’ve released previously have all been kinda different sounds. I would like to have my ballad sound & like a cemented uptempo sound.” He and Anne Marie also talked about one of the other songs they wrote together saying, “It’s kind of like a, how do you describe it- guitar driven meets Tom Petty meets Katy Perry meets…” but say “We haven’t really decided if we are putting it out yet, the conversations are kinda happening... but it’s completely different (from Our Song).”

[all-my-love-for-harry]

Delicate. — Part 1.

word count: 2.6k

a/n: Here we are fam, i gotta be honest with y’all, this is heavily inspired in the fact that i watched Miss Americana twice this month, what resulted in me going through my taylor swfit phase again. Pls bare with me, i haven’t written anything like this before.

catch up here!

They said artists become what they are because deep down they are as insecure if not more than normal people. Because they craved constant validation in what they do. 

At least it was the case for Y/n. 

A girl who has built an entire system around being accepted by the public, someone who their major source of happiness is provided by strangers all around the world. When you are living from the approval of strangers and that is where you drive all your joy and fulfillment, one bad thing can cause everything to go down. Y/n has spent her whole life trying to please the world so they would like her, so what she has achieved over the years would last. 

When the world turned their back on her, Y/n had no choice but to disappear, because she thought that was what everyone wanted. Even then, she made her choices around what she thought would make them happy.

Y/n knew she could not hide forever, but for now, it was a necessary evil she had to take. Deciding to take a break from everything was the healthiest decision she has ever made, shutting down her social media, getting out of the city and going back home with her family was exactly what she needed. 

"Mom was sad she couldn't pick you up from the airport."

Seventeen-year-old Jensen, whose driving license was still new and fresh, was the one who picked Y/n up when her flight landed. In complete honesty, she did not like using a private plane, but she could not risk someone seeing where she was going. Jensen was good at driving, well, he has not crashed into a tree yet, so they were safe. 

"She would've brought Chase and scare Pandora and Lizzie." 

Jensen chuckled. "She's obsessed with him. I haven't started college yet and she's already thinking about turning my room into Chase's." 

Her parents’ house was a gated property away from others since it was safer that way. Y/n would not stay there the whole time since she had her own apartment a little closer to town. Her luggage, as well as her cats, were picked up separately and taken to her home, she would go there after lunch with her family. Jensen parked next to a black range rover that belonged to their dad, meaning both of their parents were home. 

Y/n threw her backpack over her shoulder as she stepped out of the car, eager to finally reunite with her family, especially her mother. She is in desperate need of a tight hug, a mug of hot chocolate and a shoulder to cry on. Y/n did not realize how mentally drained she was until she saw her mother open the front door. 

"My baby!" Louise exclaimed, embracing her daughter in a tight hug. "How was the flight?" 

"It was fine. I'm starving though." 

They walked into the living room and Louise closed the door behind them. Y/n dropped her backpack on one of the couches and sighed in relief. “Where’s dad?” Jensen went straight to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

“Get the white wine.” Y/n told him.

“It’s too early to drink that.” Louise took the bottle from Jensen’s hands and put it back in the fridge. “Dad’s outside. We bought some roses that will look beautiful by the pool.”

“You’re buying a lot of plants lately.” Y/n pointed a big vase full of daisies, her mom’s favorites, on the kitchen’s island. 

“I like supporting local business.” She shrugged.

“That and she’s obsessed with the owner of the flower shop.” Jensen chuckled, cracking open a water bottle. 

“Hey! That’s not true.” 

“Mom, you there like… every day. Who needs new flowers every day?”

“Shush.” The elder woman faked offense then gigged. “Handsome young man, he is. I’ll take you tomorrow.” She turned to Y/n. 

“Oh, no, mom. I’m going to lock myself in my apartment and try to write.” She said, making Louise scoff. “I’m serious!”

“I know you are. But living like a hermit is not going to do you any good.”

“I agree, sis.” 

Y/n rolled her eyes, knowing they were right as always but did not want to admit it. The truth was, she wanted to write some songs, so badly, but could not find the right words. She was hoping to get some peace and quiet to get her ideas and emotions in order again. Before any of them could say anything else, David entered the kitchen while taking off his gardening gloves and smiled widely when he spotted Y/n.

“And who do we have here?”

“Hi, dad.” Y/n smiled at him brightly before wrapping her arms around her dad, who hugged her back just as tight. 

“Good to have you home, darling.” 

The family of four sat on the kitchen island and started to catch up. Jensen talked about his different college options and how he was considering getting a summer job this year. Louise kept talking about how nice the owner of this flower shop was, making emphasis on how he was also single. Y/n didn’t know what she was trying to do, but she didn’t pay much attention either. 

Overall it was nice for Y/n to get out of her head for a little bit, and her family was always a great help for that. She knew she still had a lot to deal with, and she would probably get a call from her publicist and a lot of other people soon, but for now, she just wanted to think about anything else that wasn't the whole world hating on her. 

"How are you doing, Y/n? Be honest." Her mom asked after they stayed alone in the kitchen.

"Been better." She sighed. "I don't want to think about it, mom."

"You have to talk to someone, sweetie. I know your team cares for you and is trying to handle the situation, but you can still talk to me."

"I know, thank you. I'm just trying to figure it what I'm going to do."

Louise sighed. "You sure you don't want to stay here? You have your room and everything."

"Thanks for the offer, mom. But I sort of want to be on my own." She said. "But I'll come for lunch every day, I promise."

Although Louise wasn't convinced by her daughter's words, she chose to not push it. She knew Y/n had her own ways to express her feelings, and she'd talk whenever she felt like it. So she let her go, making her promise she'd come to visit soon.

"Do you need a ride? I'm going to town anyway." Jensen offered, taking the keys of his car from the little plate they kept on the table beside the front door. 

"Yes, please."

The drive to her apartment wasn't a long one, and in less than ten minutes she was opening her front door and being greeted by her two beautiful cats rubbing themselves on her legs. Y/n sighed, thinking about how much she needed to unpack now that she was here. The truth was, she didn't know for how long she'd be staying here, but she figured it'd be a long time so she packed a lot. Now she kind of regretted it because she would probably be in her pajamas all day anyway. 

After cleaning Pandora and Lizzie's sandbox, Y/n decided to grab an acoustic guitar and try to come up with some melodies. She wasn't quite sure about any lyrics yet, but it was always good to have a little something to start a song. 

She went from playing the guitar to play the piano, hoping she'd get more inspirations somewhere. But she had nothing. Not even one decent note. She was empty. 

"Don't pretend is... mhmm. Think about the... No." She groaned and slammed the palm of her hands on the keyboard, growing frustrated. Why all of a sudden she couldn't even rhyme? Maybe she needed a break, or perhaps she was tired from her flight and tomorrow she'd be able to write something.

//

Turns out her writer's block was here to stay. A week has passed since her arrival and Y/n hasn't been able to finish one single song. Everything she started ended up being erased or in the middle of her living room after the ripped the page off her journal. 

"I told you, you shouldn't hurry. Inspiration will come eventually, it always does."

"I guess. I just have nothing else to do other than play scrabble with you and write songs, or at least try to."

"Let me take out then." Louise started and Y/n shakes her head. "C'mon, let's eat somewhere or buy groceries and I'll cock at your place." Y/n looked at her mom and realized she wouldn't stop until she accepted, so Y/n offered Louise a nod. "Marvelous. There's this little café that I absolutely love. You'll love the owner."

"What is it with you and the owners of local shops?"

"They're my friends. Oh! We could drop by Blossom House. You could use some flowers around your house so it would look like somebody actually lives there."

"Stop dragging me, woman."

Louise drove them to this café called Furry Cakes, which turned out to be a cat café. Y/n obviously lost it as soon as they walked in, and nearly cried when she saw all the kittens, and absolutely shed a tear when the girl behind the register said every kitty except for one named Chaster was up for adoption. She felt like a little girl all over again when her mom told her she couldn't take every single kitty home. 

Y/n was wearing a hoodie that was twice her size, plus some big sunglasses she refused to take off, even inside of the café. She was praying she wouldn't get recognized as she knew people were dying for a picture of her, see how she was after the entire world canceled her. 

"We'll leave the car parked here, the flower shop is just around the corner." Louise pulled from Y/n's hand to make her walk faster. There weren't a lot of people on the streets and she was grateful for that, she hasn't gotten a proper walk in what felt like ages. 

They stopped outside a modern-looking building with a big, bright sign that read 'The Blossom House'. It was simple yet cute. The pair stepped in and a little bell ringed. Y/n looked around, admiring how everything looked like it was straight out of a fairytale. There were little pots hanging from the ceiling and she looked up, she saw the ceiling was pure glass, which made the whole place brighter. Flowers weren't really her thing as she could barely keep them alive, but seeing this amount of flowers all in the same place... made her somewhat happy and warm inside. 

She was so deep in thought she didn't even realize her mom left her and was nowhere to be found. It doesn't look like it from outside, but the shop was actually big and very spacious. It was also empty right now, not even an employee was around, so she decided to have a look on her own. It looked like they had all kinds of flowers in here, which made her even more excited because that meant they had-

"Azaleas? They're also my favorites." A deep voice interrupted her thoughts. She jumped on her place as she wasn't expecting it, which made the person behind her chuckle. "I didn't mean to scare you, sorry."

"It's okay..." She turned around and it was fair to say that was she saw stunned her right away.

In front of her, a gorgeous looking man was standing there with a bright smile on his face. She noticed the two dimples poking at each side of his face, making his smile even more beautiful. His emerald green eyes were the greenest eyes she has ever seen in her life, she believed. He had crinkles by his eyes due to his smile being wide. But to her, the icing of the cake was the beautiful mop of chocolate curls he had on the top of his head. She suddenly felt the insane urge to run her hands through it just to see if they were as soft as they looked. 

"Harry, darling!" Louise appeared out of nowhere and wrapped her arms around the man, who only chuckled while reciprocating the greeting.

"Hello, Louise. What's it gonna be today? Tulips? More daisies?" Oh God, he's British. Y/n thought to herself. 

"Gosh, you know me so well. I'm actually here just to look around, I see you found my daughter though." She smirked.

"I surely did. I'm Harry, nice to meet you, love." He offered her a hand for her to shake.

Y/n was a little surprised by the pet name but took his hand nonetheless. "I'm Y/n, nice to meet you too."

"I want her to get some plants for her house." Louise spoke again.

"Well, you're in the right place then." He said. "Do you want them for your garden?"

"No, uhm... I don't have one. I live in an apartment."

"Personally, my favorite to keep indoors are Begonias." Harry guided the two women to a different section of the flower shop and pointed to some pretty ones in pink color. "But I also enjoy Daylilies, although they're a little harder to maintain."

"Yeah, maybe not those then. I'm not very good at keeping plants alive."

"She killed a cactus once." Louise mentioned. 

"No way." 

"I didn't know they'd drown if I watered them more than once a week!" Y/n defended herself. 

"Amateur mistake." He joked. 

The truth was Y/n was too busy to have a garden, she was always traveling and didn't stay too long in one place so even if she tries to have one, it'd be dead by the end of the month. 

"What plants are cat friendly? I have two at home."

"Bromeliads are cat friendly, they're easy to maintain too."

They looked around for a little bit. Harry said a fun fact about every type of flower Y/n pointed out, never failing to make her laugh. The funny thing was, it didn't look like Harry knew who she was. Either he hasn't recognized her, or he didn't know about her. Which by the way, not to be a narcissist, would be highly unlikely.

She ended up taking a couple of new plants home, starting to grow excited about them. It was true, her apartment could use a little more life to it, and now she was sure her new plants would do that for her. Harry was wrapping everything for them while he stood behind the counter.

"Oh, here. This one's on the house." Harry handed her a pot with some beautiful blue Azaleas. She took them with a growing blush on her face, a blush that went deeper when their hands brushed with each other. "Try to not kill them though." He teased.

Y/n rolled her eyes as her mom chuckled behind her. "I'll report their aliveness back to you, you'll see."

"You better. Have a nice day, ladies. I'm guessing I'll see you around, Y/n?"

"Sure, I'm uh... I'm living here right now."

Harry smiled at them one last time before they exited the shop. After the door closed behind them, Louise turned to Y/n. "He likes you."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"What do you say if we invite him for dinner sometime?"

"Like, at your house?" She asked surprised.

"Yeah, why not?"

"I have to keep a low profile, mother. For all I know he could be tweeting about I just exited his shop."

"Don't let the paranoia ruin the possibility of forming new friendships... or more." Louise sent her a wink.

"Okay, that's enough."

Y/n brushed her off, trying not to think much about it. A new friendship sounded impossible at this point of her life, let alone pursuing a new relationship with someone. She had made up her mind, she was better off being alone.

[aquaticstyles]

unchained

A while ago I was asked for a “Have You Ever Been In Love” sequel, and while this is probably not the direction you guys were expecting, this is what I came up with. Also, this one’s (loosely) inspired by the song “Scott Street” by the lovely Phoebe Bridgers (highly recommend listening to the spotify sessions version while listening). Fun fact, for forever I misheard the lyrics, thinking she was saying “unchained” instead of “ashamed.” After noticing that I have, in fact, been wrong this entire time, I realized I kinda liked my version better (sorry Phoebe). And, me being me, I ran with it and it spun into this quick, 1.4k part two. Reblogs + feedback help so much! Enjoy!! xx, Jane 

“Have you ever been in love?”

Harry’s heart stops.

The question catches him off guard, and not just because he’s not used to interviewers asking such personal ones (he guesses this is what he signed up for when he agreed to be the first male flying solo on the cover of Vogue). It makes his heart stop because of his answer, because of the woman that had once asked him the same exact question.

Harry has never been one to linger in his sadness; he finds it unproductive, and quite honestly, completely depressing. After a break up, one can find the caramel-colored curls belonging to the world’s latest phenomenon sweating out his sorrow, or frustration, at the gym, pounding the boxing bag again and again and again. “Nothing another set can’t fix,” his trainer, Mike, would often tease the man in denial, knowing good and well by his posture upon entering the ring, slumped shoulders and an ever-present crease between his eyebrows, that another one had bit the dust the night prior. Mike had learned fairly quickly to never ask questions, to simply let Harry work out his emotions as he pleases, even if that means letting him walk out with wrapped fists masking throbbing, crimson knuckles.

Harry has never been one to talk about his sadness either; he finds it prolongs the pain rather than diminishing it, an annoying gnat swarming around an abnormally large bite from a crisp apple, halting his progression in enjoying his afternoon snack because he just can’t catch the bloody thing. His sister has tried to break him from his stubborn ways, even resulting to getting the lanky man drunk off tequila in hopes of him finally opening up about his incessant missed targets; however, that only ever ends up with Gemma’s arms holding up the giggling teddy bear and folding his bulky body into a taxi, mimicking cramming a cotton ball into a straw. Therapy was suggested and waved off with an inked palm, because if he doesn’t want to talk to his sister about it, how on earth is he supposed to talk to a stranger?

Never-ending claims of “I’m fine,” and “It just didn’t work out,” and “Don’t worry ‘bout me,” and “It wasn’t even that serious.” Sure, each breakup took a little something out of the man that insisted he was “fine,” but eventually, a couple dozen inked journal pages later, Harry would be back to his normal, happy-go-lucky, perfectly-kind self.

All of these rang true for most of Harry’s young adulthood.

All of these were common occurrences, that is, until Harry met you.

You were unlike anyone he had ever met. Selfless, but not in an over-bearing, walk-all-over-me kind of way. Funny, but not in an underlying-hatred, fake-laugh kind of way. Genuine, but not in a look-at-me, fake kind of way. Honest, in a I-want-to-know-everything-that-makes-you-you, ask-you-questions-until-the-sun-rises kind of way. Drop-dead-gorgeous in the most unbelievable, glowing, ethereal, kind of way that he constantly reminded you of. You were the perfect balance, the missing diamond to even out the coal on the other end of the scale.

Loving you felt like the ocean.

In the morning when there’s a hazy screen covering your lenses, clouding the soft sunlight in a muted, white-washed filter. It’s more gray, yet still golden as the shining mass of fire lazily rises from its slumber. It’s calm, clouds stretched apart like cobwebs in the faded blue sky above, waves leisurely, almost too relaxed, crashing along the bleached shore then disappearing back into the horizon. Still sleepy, still new, an entire day ahead of you.

In the afternoon when the sun is at its highest and hottest, radiating down ultraviolet rays that burn your skin, causing alarmingly red shoulders in need of aloe that soon progressively heal and turn into a bronzed exterior. Speckles of light dancing upon excited waves, similar to a neighborhood of children dressed in pink polka dots and orange overalls running towards the ice cream truck filled to the brim with dreams of sugary stomachaches. It’s saturated, every color its brightest and loudest, pops of cerulean and coral. It’s a blanket of comfort, a suffocating scarf. It’s sweet. It’s sour. A cool glass of lemonade sinking into a bed of quicksand. Annoying and astonishing.

In the night, when the yellowing presence is long gone in the awakening of the moon, the deepest indigo swirling in between pockets of stars dotted and flecked into the atmosphere like freckles. It’s black and blue. You don’t know where the earth stopss and the water begins, familiarity lost as the waves erase each new footprint in the sand. The tide is an abuser, sweet as it sings you in, terrifying as it pulls you under. Skinny dipping, vulnerable, exciting, adrenaline, heart thumping, diving, sinking, drowning.

The morning, the afternoon, the night. The happening, the honeymoon, the heartbreak.

Ever since it ended, everything Harry had ever known was cast aside, thrown out like a Gucci jumper from last season. For the first time in his twenty-six years of living, fourteen of those juggling the obstacles that relationships can and will bring, Harry was irreversibly numb, a pair of frozen, gloveless fingertips blue from the icy wind. Not only did he linger in the gut-wrenching grief, he was absorbed by it. Instead of waking up each morning tucked into the bare side of your body diffusing innocent warmth, sipping a steaming cup of black coffee received by hands much smaller than his own, he woke up with a stranger laying on his chest, cold, with a pounding headache the bottle of whiskey had gladly supplied from the night before. The days felt as if they lasted an eternity, time stuck in slow-motion, tick, tick, ticking, one second, one and a half, one and three quarters, two. He watched the seasons pass, the grass dying and regenerating into its natural emerald shade from his bedroom, dust pocketing in the corners of a picture frame containing two pairs of sparkling eyes and genuine, toothy grins sitting on the windowsill. Nights consisted of him lying sleepless on his back, eyes wide awake, thumbs twiddling as the echoes of helicopters overhead drone in and out. Dozens of missed calls remained unanswered: Mum, Gem, Mitch, Mike, Adam, Sarah, Mum, Mum, Gem, Mum, Mike, Mitch, Gem, Mitch, Mum…

He was stuck, a pancake glued to an ungreased pan, charred. It was when this melancholy had prolonged for nearly its sixth month, and all at home remedies (which included drinking, writing, drinking because he was writing, and writing because he was drinking) failed to provide any peace that he decided to give in to the recommendations from almost every single one of his friends: therapy. After the first session, he was ready to book it and sprint off to a deserted island with nothing but a coconut filled with rum to accompany his solitude. Turns out that one session was the mento to his coca cola of bottled-up emotions, exploding months’ worth of buried feelings and memories in an hour. It took the will of God (and Gemma purposefully lying and telling him they were going to get lunch) to get Harry back in the baby-pink-painted interior of his therapist’s office. After months of talking, sorting, compartmentalizing, yelling, crying, healing, unpacking, and reflecting, Harry tackled down the closure he had been chasing. A year and an album later, when he heard your name, he no longer felt trapped, heart beating rapidly, trying desperately to break apart his ribcage, he felt unchained—a prisoner uncaged, pounds and pounds of metal unlocked from his wrists, free.

Before, your name was paired with a colorless photo album, snapshots of vibrancy draining into black and white, frozen, lifeless, still.

Now, your name resembled a film reel of the best moments, your sweater hanging in his closet, your arm thrown around his mother’s shoulder in a polaroid candid, your laugh echoing in the acoustics of his shower after you nearly slipped on the lavender bubbles coating sudsy toes, your hands massaging his scalp, twisting curls into detailed plaits, your foamy lips smushing against a stubbled cheek, leaving remnants of peppermint mocha in the winter air, your satin skirt contrasting from his purple flares in his backyard, playing thumb war and whispering confessions in the moonlight. The good memories built a brick wall to block out the bad, dimming the light of your downfall.

“Have you ever been in love?” The question echoes again in Harry’s ears, causing a grin and a dimple to pop into his cheek. The fuzzies. Once, twice, three times. Click, shake, tape.

“Yeah, I have.”

[heliads]

Back to You (Part One)

Based on this request: “X-Men one-shot. Pietro is getting a hot dog in the park. He sees a girl playing her acoustic guitar and singing Chris Isaak’s song Wicked Game. Heart eyes ensue.”

masterlist / part two

On the day that he ruined his life, Peter Maximoff was walking through the park. He was there for something, but he couldn’t quite remember what. Not then, at least. She would tell him later. On that day, he was about to give up on figuring out just why he showed up there and go back to Xavier’s School, and then he saw her. There’s a girl sitting on a bench near him, playing some song on an acoustic guitar. It’s a familiar sight- feels like there are always performers in the area, but something about her makes Peter’s steps stray by her. Maybe it’s just because she’s really, really pretty, or it’s because she sounds so sad, and she’s looking directly at him.

If Peter didn’t know better, he’d say that she was singing directly to him, and that’s why she looks as if someone’s gone and broken her heart in two. Somehow, Peter feels like leaving now would be doing her a crime, so he waits, walking mindless circles around the paths in the park. He watches this girl out of the corner of his eye, and listens, and waits.

The song itself is quiet, full of heartbreak, all about not wanting to fall in love and how it all falls apart in the end. Later, the girl tells him that the song is ‘Wicked Game’ by Chris Isaak. Peter’s not sure why he’s thinking about this, now, either- everything about this girl seems to mess up his comprehension of time and when everything happened with her. Maybe that’s because he was -is- so utterly infatuated with her that he wasn’t keeping track of much else, but maybe it’s also because she was already there to see it all through. She knew everything, but he wouldn’t learn that until later. 

That’s not the right time to say that, either. Peter needs to get this right. Even if she can look further in time and switch up all of the events before they happen, even if Y/N L/N can see him decide to approach her before he even entered the park in the first place, Peter wouldn’t have known that then. All he knew was the girl before him, the girl who was now regarding him as if having to mourn the loss of a recently departed lover.

Peter walked over to her. It wasn’t much of a conscious choice, just the feeling that he ought to do something, and so he did it. To be honest, Peter’s not sure that much of what he did with Y/N was really his choice. If she said something would happen, it was best to go along with it. Bad things happen when you falter from the prophecies.

He’s stumbling again, falling through the cracks. Peter needs to get this right if he wants to remember, if he wants to keep with Y/N’s directions. That’s the only way he’ll be able to make it through to the very end, how he’s going to get back home to Xavier’s School and his friends and most importantly, Y/N.

Peter doesn’t know this girl is Y/N L/N, not yet. What he does know is that he really should introduce himself to the girl with the guitar, and that he honestly wants to get to know her, but his feet keep dragging to a stop before he can make up his mind and force himself over to talk to her. It’s as if even his body knows that this is a bad idea, like this is his legs’ last attempt to save himself before Peter makes an incredibly important mistake.

That being said, Peter likes to pride himself on making incredibly important mistakes. This is why he dislodges the last strange shard of doubt in his head and completes the walk over to the girl. He doesn’t notice the way she almost sighs with relief when she sees him approach her, like even though she seems to know him, she wasn’t sure that he would truly go ahead and greet her.

The girl smiles at him. Peter can’t help but smile back. “Hi,” he says, feeling odd for introducing himself when this girl is looking at him with such a knowing expression, “I’m Peter.” The girl nods sagely. “Peter Maximoff.” Peter frowns. “Do I know you?” The girl’s smile falters. “I know you. You will know me, if that clears things up.” Peter stares. “It doesn’t, not really. Not at all. Do I get to ask for your name or will I learn that later too?”

The girl shrugs. “Actually, I think the time when you learn my name is supposed to be right now, so you’re good.” The strangest thing is that Peter actually doesn’t think she’s kidding or trying to be funny. She seems dead serious as she says this. “I’m Y/N, Y/N L/N.” Peter nods. For some reason, this makes sense, although he cannot explain why. “You’re a good singer, Y/N.”

Y/N grins up at him. “I’m glad you think so. I didn’t sing that song for just anyone, you know.” Peter feels like he’s stumbled in the middle of one of his fastest runs, grasping for steady footing beneath him. “Do I know you, really? Have we met before?” Y/N sighs, drawing one of her knees up to her chin. The way she looks there, nestled into herself on this park bench, makes it seem as if she’s in need of comfort, as if she’s about to start on some journey that she knows will hurt her.

“We’re meeting now. That’s what we’re supposed to do, I think.” She looks up at him now, with such piercing clarity that Peter almost wants to take a step back. “It’s my mutation. Yours is speed, mine is trying to make sense of random flashes I see of the future.” Peter looks at her in awe. “You’re a mutant, too? You can see the future.” Suddenly, it all makes sense- that’s why she keeps talking about him like she already knows him- she’s seeing the future.

Y/N nods. “It’s hard to make sense of it sometimes. I don’t know what’s in the past or the future or what’s happening right now.” She glances up at him doubtfully, as if expecting him to sigh in confusion and walk away. Instead, Peter just tosses her a casual grin and sits down beside her on the park bench. “Well, Miss Prophecy, if you know the future, where do we go from here? We’re supposed to be friends, aren’t we?”

Y/N laughs. For a second, Peter wants to slow down time again just to hear the laugh in every one of its notes, like he can track its progress just by watching the very air shimmer into gold wherever her voice touched it. “Well, I know that we talk for a while. You’ll meet up with me again, at some point. I can’t see everything, you know, just brief glimpses. There’s nothing else here, though. I think I’ve covered everything for today.”

She stands up now, stretching and starting to put her guitar back into its awaiting case. “I don’t want to stray too much from what I see. It’s one thing to see one pathway of the future, and an entirely different issue when the future starts changing and I have to keep remembering what’s actually going to happen and what would have happened before.” Peter shakes his head. “Wow. I got confused just from hearing that, I don’t know how you deal with it.”

Y/N smiles for a second, although it’s tinged with something bittersweet. “Well, in the future I have you to help me.” Peter nods, fighting the absurd desire to break out into a little dance of joy or happiness or something equally heartsick. Then another question occurs to him. “Wait- you said that song was for me, but it sounded sad, about wicked games and all that. What did I do that would make you think of that for me and not something, well, a little happier?”

Y/N’s smile runs away from her face as surely as a river down from the tallest of slopes. All of a sudden, she doesn’t look excited about the future but almost terrified, as if she dreads what must come at the end of everything. “We say goodbye. It’s not as I would want it to happen.” She shoulders her guitar case now, starting to walk briskly away. Peter’s not used to anyone being able to outpace him or leave him in the dust. Maybe it happens today because he doesn’t try to go after her, stuck behind in the wake of her desolate expression.

Peter finds Y/N in the same park the next day. She’s sitting on the exact same park bench, and when she visibly brightens to see him approach, Peter wonders if she’d been waiting for him to arrive. Maybe she saw him show up in the future. They end up spending an hour or two talking, doing nothing else except simply enjoying each other’s company. At the end, when they have to say goodbye again, Peter swears that Y/N looks even more upset than the day before. Maybe their final parting is drawing nearer than she would like.

They meet up a few more times, each time the same- happy memories until the last goodbye. At last, on the final day that they find each other in the park, Y/N only allows herself about five or so minutes of pleasantries before she looks at Peter one more time in abject despair and throws her face down into her hands. “I can’t do this.” These words aren’t directed at anyone, but Peter feels the need to address them all the same.

“Can’t do what? Y/N, what’s wrong?” When Y/N looks up at him again, her face is twisted as she tries to maintain control over herself. “It’s what has to happen, Peter, but I didn’t realize it would be so hard. I didn’t think you’d make it so difficult to lose you.” Peter stares at her, hand hovering over her back before he pulls her closer to him. “What do you mean? I’m not going anywhere, Y/N. Nothing can make me leave.” Even as he says this, Peter knows it’s not true. There’s nothing he can do against time, after all, and Y/N’s likely seen this through many times to know that.

She sighs, leaning against him. “By the end of today, my aunt is going to come visit you. She’s going to take you somewhere far away, and when it’s all over, you’re not going to remember who you are, not at all. All you’ll know is who she wants you to be.” Peter doesn’t understand. None of this makes sense. “What do you mean? Who is your aunt?” Y/N glances over at him again. This time, Peter is starting to realize that the fear in her eyes from before may not have been towards a vague happening in the past. It may take the physical form of her aunt, the one who is coming to take him away.

“She’s a witch. Her name is Agatha Harkness. She sent me here to make sure you would work for the plan, and then she’ll send you far from here, far from me.” Peter shakes his head. “Even if she tries to put me somewhere else, it won’t work. Yeah, I can run fast, but I can also run far. I’ll make my way back to you.” Y/N looks at him despondently. “You can’t run to me if you’re in another dimension, Peter. She’ll transport you there, and then I won’t be able to get you back. You’ll be put in place as the fake twin sister of this woman, Wanda, and you’ll live in her little sitcom paradise in a town called Westview. Even if she realizes you’re not real, Agatha has a backup story for you. You’re supposed to be some guy named Ralph. There’s no way you’ll be able to get out.”

Y/N drops her face into her hands again. Peter isn’t willing to let her go so easily, though. Witches be damned, he isn’t about to leave her for something like this. So, he sits forward, drawing Y/N close to him once more. “Then tell me how to fix it. You can see glimpses of the future, right? What do I have to do to break free of Agatha’s spell? Everyone has their loopholes. I’ll find hers.” Y/N nods once, then her gaze turns hazy. This must be what it takes to use her mutation.

She’s back in a few moments, face set in determination. “She’ll use a memory spell on you to keep you in her trance. All you have to do is remember who you are, and in the end, when it all breaks down, you’ll have to go to Wanda. She’ll be powerful enough by then, so if you ask her to send you back to your home dimension, she just might do it.” Peter nods, then frowns. “What do you mean, when it all breaks down? What’s going to happen?”

Y/N gives him a grim smile. “Agatha can’t hold Wanda forever. She wants to, but she can’t. Wanda will find a way to best my aunt, and then she’ll leave Westview. You have to find Wanda before that happens so she can get you out. Until then, you have to remember.” Peter nods, ready. “I can do that. I don’t intend on forgetting someone like you, Y/N.” Y/N laughs, although the sound is bitter. “I’m not sure that you have much of a choice about that. Agatha is a deeply skilled witch, Peter. I think this might be too much, even for you.”

Peter shakes his head. “I’ll find a way. She can’t hold me forever. I’m staying with you.” Y/N sighs. “And how will you do that? How can you fight back against her memory spell?” Peter gives her a lopsided half smile. “By having something good enough to remember.” With that, he leans forward and kisses her. He can feel Y/N stiffen in surprise for a second, and then she’s kissing him back. Yes, this will be hard. It might be one of the hardest things that Peter has ever done. But he isn’t willing to give up on Y/N so easily. She’s his future, his goal. If Y/N can see anything, she can see that Peter will come back to her.

peter maximoff tag list: multiverse main man @underc0vercryptid​, @enchantedcruelsummer, @awaywiththe​, @amourtentiaa, @elaineygrace​

[five-rivers]

Adoption (part 2)

A gift for @a-flower-lover!  This wound up being more along the lines of vignettes...  Little snapshots into Danny’s life after being adopted by Clockwork.  I hope that’s ok!  (PART 1)

.

Mr. Lancer had met Charles Worth before, albeit briefly. The man had fostered a number of Casper High students and with that responsibility came parent-teacher conferences. He had struck Mr. Lancer as being steady and reliable, if, perhaps, impersonal, despite his predilection for clocks and ominous announcements. A decent foster parent, if not... ideal.

Mr. Worth just didn't seem to connect with his fosters, although he certainly didn't neglect them. Then, too, were the persistent rumors that his home was haunted.

Alright. So, Mr. Lancer didn't think Charles Worth was really a children person. Oh, he was a good person! It took one to do well as a foster parent, but... yeah.

Which was why the scene in front of him surprised him so much. Not the who of it, but the what.

The who was Daniel Fenton and Charles Worth waiting outside the office. The what was smiling and having a conversation. True, Mr. Fenton's smile looked like it was pasted on over several layers of anxiety, but it was genuine.

"Mr. Worth, Mr. Fenton?" he said, tamping down his surprise. "Come on in."

"Hi," said Mr. Fenton, his voice hoarse.

Mr. Worth smiled and nodded, pushing him up with his cane.

But Mr. Fenton must have noticed the curious look Mr. Lancer was giving him. "I knew Cl- Uh. Mr. Worth before this." He winced and smiled widely to cover it up. "So, uh, make up work? Since I missed the past week?"

"Yes, well, circumstances being what they are," aka his parents trying to murder him in public, in broad daylight (and didn't that give Mr. Lancer a chill?), "your teachers have put together a few packets for you to look over this weekend. They should get you more or less up to speed with where your classes are. I'm also willing to stay after school, to help you with anything you've missed in my classes."

.

Jazz knocked on the door of the Worth house. She had been made aware, via various supernatural (she did not particularly appreciate writing suddenly appearing on her fogged-up bathroom mirror) and mundane (Danny did have her phone number) means, that the man known as Charles Worth was actually the ghost known as Clockwork.

How this had occurred was not entirely clear to her. She assumed ghost powers, specifically time travel, were involved somehow.

But, to be honest, that didn't really matter to her. It was secondary, less than.

What was important here was that she hadn't been legally allowed to see her little brother in over a month. To keep her parents from contacting him. To keep her from letting her parents near him. Because they were legally barred from seeing him.

Because they had tried to kill him.

Jazz planned on never seeing her parents again, as soon as she got all of her and Danny's things from their house.

But now that prohibition had been lifted, because Clockwork had forced through what had to be the speediest adoption in the history of adoptions, and Danny was now legally his son. In the eyes of both humans and ghosts. Which was... Well. Danny seemed to be excited about it, anyway. He'd looked up to Clockwork for a while, from what he told Jazz.

Internally, Jazz had more than a bit of trepidation. She didn't know what adoption meant to ghosts, didn't have any context for it. And ghosts, even the good ones, even Danny, tended to be... obsessive. Extreme. She wasn't sure how that would translate when it came to interpersonal relationships.

The door creaked open, ever so slowly, the squeak it made grating on her eardrums. At first, it appeared to have opened on its own, then a hand gripped the edge of the door, and Clockwork, in human guise, leaned out from behind it.

Jazz raised an eyebrow.

Clockwork raised one right back. "This house is haunted, you know," he said.

Okay, never mind. The only thing she had to worry about was the fact that her brother and his mentor both had terrible senses of humor.

"Hi, Jazz!"

Being used to having a half-ghost brother, Jazz only yelped a little bit at his unexpected appearance behind her. Then she sighed and ruffled his hair. He hugged her and then bounced over the lintel into the house.

"Come on! I want to show you my room! It's so cool!" His voice became fainter as he went farther into the house, until his last exclamation was an eerie whisper.

Jazz looked at Clockwork as she stepped inside. "Is he doing that on purpose?"

Clockwork smiled blandly. "I am very fond of the acoustics in this house."

She looked at her surroundings with a skeptical eye. "It seems... dark in here."

"We are ghosts," said Clockwork. "Daniel is very excited to show you his room, by the way."

"He's human, too, don't forget," said Jazz.

"I won't."

.

The house was creepy.

Really creepy.

This was coming from someone who had spent most of her life living under the same roof as two ghost-obsessed mad scientists.

But Danny seemed to enjoy it, and he was the one living here. It wasn't like there was anything wrong with the house. Or anything in the house. It was just... off.

Danny was half-ghost, however, so maybe this was something he needed. Perhaps not all of his peppiness could be attributed to being the heck away from his murderous former parents.

Even so. Jazz had a duty, both as a big sister and an aspiring psychologist.

"I already read it," said Clockwork, setting a cup of tea down in front of her.

"What?"

"The book you were about to give me. I've already read it. And a number of others. I am not the kind of person who goes into things unprepared."

Danny rolled into the kitchen on the ceiling. This was easy to ignore. After her life, an Exorcist reference made by her over-excited younger brother, was, well. Underwhelming.

(Okay, she was a little distracted, but only by his glee.)

"Well," she said. "That's good."

.

"I know this house is out of the way," said Clockwork, craning his neck to look up at his coworker, "but you are rather conspicuous."

"Hm. Am I?" asked Pandora, craning her neck down to look at her comparatively tiny colleague.

"Yes. At that size, humans with average eyesight will be able to see you from town."

Pandora looked out over the trees. "Interesting," she said, mildly. "Do you think the ghost hunters will come?"

"You've spoken to Daniel."

"Yes. He stopped by earlier today, on his way to visit Mattingly. Although, I suppose you knew that already."

"Indeed I did. May I ask, is it your intention to lure the ghost hunters here, fight them, defeat them, and then leave them just close enough to here to constitute a breach of their terms of bail and the restraining order against them?"

"I am not terribly well-versed in human law," said Pandora, "but, why, yes. That is exactly what I'm doing. Best to get it done while Daniel is visiting friends, isn't it?"

"Yes. If you had done this while he was here, I would be significantly more annoyed." Clockwork smiled the sanguine smile of a parental figure who would commit murder if their child was upset.

Pandora returned a matching grin, one that promised retribution against persons who had harmed said child in the past. "Please, Clockwork. You know me better than that. I wouldn't subject him to being in the presence of those fools."

"Good," said Clockwork, eyes glinting.

.

"Hey, Clockwork? Do you know why there were police cars driving down the- Oh. Hello?" He stopped at the sight of an unfamiliar woman sitting at the dinning room table, next to Clockwork. He blinked and tilted his head to the side. "Wait. Pandora?"

"Perceptive," said the superficially human olive-skinned woman. "You seemed so happy when you stopped by, earlier. I thought I would come check in on you."

"You didn't have to," said Danny, beaming.

"Pandora has been trying to convince me to set her up as one of my relatives," said Clockwork, rolling his eyes. "Would you care for a cup of tea, Daniel?"

"Umm," said Danny, dubiously. "I'll try one, I guess. Does that mean you'll be my aunt?"

Pandora smiled. "Why, yes, it does."

Clockwork groaned theatrically.

.

"Ah," said Mr. Lancer, at the next parent-teacher conference. "Are you Mr. Worth's wife?"

"No," said Pandora, grinning. "I'm his sister."

Mr. Lancer looked back and forth between the two very different-looking entities. "I... see."

"We're adopted," said Clockwork.

"Oh! Alright then. Now, about Daniel..."

.

It was a bit strange to see Danny with so much energy, Sam reflected. Strange, but good.

It just went to show how drained he had become over time, how much the constant ghost attacks and worry, all the lies and stress and impossible expectations had worn away at him over time. She hadn't seen her friend this happy since freshman year. If that.

On the other hand...

"Dude," said Tucker. "Your house is spooky. And this is coming from someone who's been inside a literal mad science lab."

Danny rolled his eyes. "Mad science labs are campy, not spooky. Besides, you knew coming in that this house was haunted." He draped himself over the back of the couch, rolling until he was 'sitting' upside-down. "Anyway, what kind of movie do you want to watch? We've got a bunch, because Clockwork apparently collects media from doomed timelines."

"He's got a hobby?" asked Sam.

"Yeah, three," said Danny. "Gardening- you should talk to him about that, by the way, I think he'd like it- baking, and alternate timeline movies. And some books, too, I think. He's got a huge library back in Long Now. I've read like. Two books from it."

Clockwork's voice floated in from the other room. "You've read significantly more than that, Daniel."

"I guess," said Danny, doubtfully. He flopped off the couch, picked himself up, and started prodding at a shelf of movies. "This is from a timeline where the Earth got beaned by a massive asteroid. It's, like, a romcom, but it was made when everyone knew the asteroid was coming. This one is, uh, this is actually a dramatization of real events, apparently, but their timeline split from ours in like the fifties, so the events are pretty wild." He waved the DVD at them. "It's surreal?"

"How'd they die?" asked Tucker.

"Wacky superscience. No, really. Irradiated the entire planet."

"How do you know?" asked Sam.

"Oh, Clockwork puts notes on the boxes. He thinks it's interesting. And there does seem to be some correlation between how cursed the movies are and how bad the timeline was. Which maybe shouldn't surprise me? I mean, if they were bad timelines..." He shrugged. "Oh, this is a CGI Lion King. I can tell you: very cursed. Absolutely soulless. And this is from a timeline where copyright laws weren't changed, so Mickey Mouse and a bunch of other stuff was in the public domain."

"Isn't that a good timeline?" joked Sam.

"You'd think so," agreed Danny. "But apartheid in South Africa apparently never stopped, and they got a nuclear bomb, and, well... World War Three."

"Is that like, a domino effect, or...?"

"I'm not sure... Anyway. Uh. Genre?" He clapped his hands together.

Tucker leaned forward. "I want the wildest version of the Matrix you have."

"Ooh, good choice. There are, like, six with Will Smith. I haven't watched them all yet, but I think the one where they've got another sequel and Zion is also a- Wait, I shouldn't spoil it."

"After that, can you see if there's a non-crappy version of Dracula?" asked Sam.

"Sure. I haven't seen one yet, but I will look."

"I have popcorn," said Clockwork, entering the room, "and various baked goods. No dairy."

"You're the best."

.

Clockwork selected a thick blanket from the chest, then teleported himself to the living room to drape it over the three teenagers passed out on the couch. Overall, he found pretending to be human oddly enjoyable, but it could be trying at times. Tedious. All the finicky little motions humans had to go through to do the simplest of things added up over the day.

So, Clockwork tended to ease off of them when no one was watching. It made life easier.

Heh. Life.

(He would say that Daniel's puns were rubbing off on him, but in truth Clockwork's sense of humor had been like that for, well. Eons.)

He put the kitchen in order with an absent wave of his hand, and double-checked the stove out of habit. It wasn't nearly as good as his actual oven, back in Long Now, but it was serviceable.

One of Daniel's friends mumbled in their sleep, and Clockwork looked in on them. Still peaceful. It was good for Daniel to have them here. Beneficial for both his human and ghost halves.

He hummed to himself and patted Daniel's head as he thought about their plans for the weekend. He had arranged for some truly aggravating evangelical missionaries to darken their doorstep. It would do Daniel good to inspire a touch of terror. In an entirely controlled and risk-free way, of course. No matter how unpleasant the people coming were, Clockwork had no intention of harming them, or suggesting anything of the sort.

But, well. They were ghosts. Being feared was soothing.

(Clockwork knew this wasn't what Jasmine meant when she suggested Clockwork engage in family bonding activities with Daniel. But what she didn't know...)

.

"I think my teeth are getting sharper," said Danny, pulling a face at the mirror. "Is that normal?" The last was shouted, to get Clockwork's attention. Intellectually, Danny knew he didn't need to do that, but a lifetime of habit was hard to shake.

"It is difficult to say what is normal for someone like you, but many ghosts do have fangs," said Clockwork. "Including myself."

"Hm," said Danny. "This isn't, like, a ghost puberty thing, is it? Because I already used up most of my evil puberty jokes."

"Oh, only most?" Clockwork slid behind him and started rubbing the tension out of his shoulders.

Danny shrugged. "Eh, give or take. But, seriously."

"No, it isn't a ghost puberty thing."

"Oh, good. Because dealing with one puberty is more than enough."

Clockwork was silent. Danny looked up and met troubled eyes in the mirror.

"Clockwork?"

"Daniel," started Clockwork, before giving Danny an uneasy smile. "Speaking of puberty..."

Danny blanched. "No."

"What?"

"No. Nope. Not doing the talk today, no sir. I got that at school."

"Daniel, as strange as Casper High may be at times, I highly doubt they taught you anything about immortality."

"What."

.

"It's why ghosts put so much forethought into relationships like this," explained Clockwork, careful not to look directly at Daniel's hiding place. "They might last forever. I certainly hope this one does."

"But I don't want to be a teenager forever!" wailed Danny. He had mastered the art of making his voice sound like it was coming from a completely different direction than it actually was.

Clockwork was older than human civilization and had been worshiped as a god by several civilizations. He did not wince at the heartbreak in his child's voice.

"Your shapeshifting abilities should come in after a few years," said Clockwork. "You'll be able to pass as older."

Daniel answered with a moan.

"I must confess, I'm not sure why you are so upset about this. I can see that you are, but could you explain why for me?"

"I don't knoooooowww..."

.

"I don't want everyone to die and leave me alone," admitted Danny, hunched over a carton of ice cream. "I don't want to see my- my people die." He sniffled.

"We don't have to stay in Amity Park if you don't want to," said Clockwork.

Danny shook his head. "No! That's worse," he said, hating how his voice tilted into a whine. "That's- I can't abandon them! I can't- can't miss their time. I just..." He let out a huff of air. "It's hard."

Clockwork wrapped an arm around Daniel's shoulders. "It may not help much," he said, "but people in Amity Park have a much higher chance of becoming ghosts. It's the ectoplasm in the air."

"Promise?" asked Danny.

"Promise. Although, who, exactly, becomes a ghost is outside of my control. All I can tell you is that the people here have a better chance."

Danny leaned against Clockwork. "Thanks," he mumbled. "Clockwork?"

"Yes?"

"You don't think I'm a freak, do you?"

"Of course not."

.

Mr. Lancer squinted down at Daniel Fenton's latest assignment with a mix of appreciation, disbelief, and shame. This was easily the best work he had ever received from Daniel. In fact, it rivaled papers he had received from Jasmine.

It made him wonder- How long had Daniel been suffering? What had Daniel been suffering? He was no expert when it came to abuse, but all teachers had some training, and he knew that abusers tended to escalate, starting with something relatively innocuous and ending with a travesty. For things to progress to attempted murder... What had it started as? When had it begun?

(Could Mr. Lancer have stopped it?)

(That question would haunt him more than any ghost.)

Well, there was a silver lining to this, Mr. Lancer supposed. He had rarely seen two people who got along as well as Daniel and Charles Worth. It was good, he thought, for the man to have someone in his life on a more permanent basis, rather than the revolving door of temporary foster children.

How rapidly the adoption went through was a little odd, but... Mr. Lancer shrugged. Undoubtedly, Mr. Worth had taken the time over his years as a foster parent to familiarize himself with the system, and with Daniel's former parents unfit to be anywhere near children...

He shrugged again and stamped Daniel's paper with an A+.

[bbdaydreams]

Courage My Love// Semi Eita x Reader

Series Masterlist•next>

Chapter One: Late

You and Semi were assigned to sit next to each other in your English class during your first year which is how you initially met. About a quarter through the year Semi noticed you had the letter “X” in black marker on the back of your hand which led him to ask if you went to a show the night before. You said yes and told him what band you saw which made him light up and show you his hand as proof that he was there too.

“Dude, let me know when you go to a show! We could go together,” Semi told you with a grin on his face.

“Will do, bro,” you smiled back at him.

Since then, you’ve been concert buddies and best friends. You weren’t afraid to run up to tackle the other from a distance. Semi’s lent you multiple sweatshirts that other students immediately have identified as his considering the size difference. You’ve gone into his personal bubble many times, mostly to bother him by squishing his face. Other’s believe there’s more going on between you two but you’re both quick to shut down those comments, even if in reality you did harbor feelings for him.

You were both currently in his dorm fiddling with tunes on your guitars. “Y/n, you’re going too fast. Slow down,” Semi laughed while holding your wrists in place on the guitar.

“Dammit! I got nervous,” you responded setting the acoustic guitar down next to your body before using your hands to rub your face.

“It’s just me here. You don’t have to be so nervous.”

“I know, I know. I’ve got to get over this fear.”

Semi picked up his electric guitar and put the strap over himself so he could play properly. “I mean, I get it. It’s not easy playing in front of people, let alone perform. Did you see where I put my pick?”

“How do you do it? You honestly make it look easy. Also, dude, you have like three still stuck on your face.”

“Oh shit,” he responded before feeling his forehead remembering the guitar pick war you guys had. He grabbed one and wiped it on his shirt to take off your saliva for a better grip.  “Uhh, I don’t know actually. I definitely do get anxious sometimes but I think I get so caught in the moment that in the end I don’t care who is watching. I’m just having fun, ya know?”

“I’m so focused on what others think, I don’t think I could ever perform how you do.”

“Well, you better get over it. You gotta hold up your end of the deal since you wanted me to do the talent show so bad.”

After Shiratorizawa lost to Karasuno, Semi had more time to focus on his band, which had formed the summer of your second year. They try to put on a show every other week at a local café and managed to gain a decent amount of attention but it definitely wasn’t enough for them to break out. You wanted to push them in anyway you could which led you to annoying Semi to sign up for the talent show.

~

“Eita, you should sign up for the talent show!”

“Nah. Too many preps. They’re not gonna be interested,” Semi responded in between bites of his lunch.

“Don’t think like that. Your guy’s music is good okay? I’m not just saying that because I’m your best friend I’m saying it because I legitimately mean it. Eagle Thorns is my favorite band. I know you guys will make it big and this can help!”

“They’ve got a good point, Eita,” their bassist, Ranmaru, said.

“I think it’ll be fun,” the drummer, Subaru, added on.

“We’ll do it,” Jiro, the lead guitarist, responded as he smiled up at you.

“Thank you, boys. I’ll sign you guys up-“

“Nope. Nope, no, no, no,” Semi spoke up, leaning over to take the pen from your hand.

“What do you mean no? Everyone else said yes.”

“I didn’t agree. I’ll agree to it if you do it too. I’ll even write your name on the list for you,” Semi stated with a smirk.

“You’re an asshole.”

“Guess we’re not participating then. Sorry boys-“

“I’ll do it. I want you guys to perform.”

~

“I don’t get why you want me to participate. I’m not the one with a band,” you told him.

“I know, but you want a band of your own. This could help you too. And even if you end up not finding members, it’ll help you get over your stage fright.”

“You have a weird way of showing you care,” you laughed while pushing his shoulder.

“Oh yeah?” Semi responded while pretending to square up.

“Yeah,” you immediately bucked back standing on your toes to help you get closer to his face.

“Ranmaru, the love birds are at it again!” Subaru spoke when he opened the door to Semi’s room.

“Oi! Eita, stop flirting! It’s time for band practice,” Ranmaru scolded.

“How many times do I have to tell you? We’re just friends,” Semi retorted turning his back to you.

You made eye contact with Jiro and he gave you a sorry look. Jiro was the only one that knew of your feelings and you planned to keep it that way. He was a year younger and didn’t speak to many other third years so you felt you could trust him.

“Yeah guys, c’mon. How many times do we have to tell you we’re just friends? It’s getting tiring at this point,” you added on with a fake happy smile on your face.

“Whatever. You get a song ready, y/n?”

“Still working on it. I’ll leave you guys alone and head back to my dorm. Have fun!” And with that you excused yourself and headed off.

-

When you got back to your dorm, you immediately sent a text to Tendou asking him to come over so you could vent to him. While waiting you came up with a plan. You decided you were going to play a song that expressed your feelings and then once you came off stage you were going to walk up to Semi and confess, hoping that the high from being on stage walks off with you.

“He said that?” Tendou asked as he sat on your bed with a large plush in his lap, watching you pace around your dorm.

“Yes! I don’t know what to do! Graduation is just around the corner and I wanna tell him before we go out separate ways after high school. Tendou, I’m so scared what if we don’t talk to each other again after graduation?”

“No, that’s not happening. You guys are best friends. I doubt he’d stop talking to you after we graduate.”

“Ok, but what if I confess and he doesn’t feel the same?”

“Trust me he feels the same.”

“How do you know that? Does he ever talk about me?”

“I can just tell by how he looks at you! And I’ll be honest he doesn’t bring you up but when someone else does he immediately tells them to shut up. Incase you didn’t know, I understand guy code. That means ‘don’t talk about my girl’.”

“Okay, okay. That puts me somewhat at ease.”

“Good. Now all you have to do is play that song without fucking up.”

“Ugh, Tendou! That just made me sick to my stomach!” You exclaimed before jumping on the bed and tackling him.

“It’s the truth! Just picture the audience in their underwear!” Tendou retaliated as he grabbed a pillow to hit you with.

“It’s not that easy!” You said while lightly hitting his chest.

“Why do you care so much as to what people think?”

“I don’t care about what others think I just care about what he thinks!”

“Shit, you have it BAD, bad,” Tendou laughed while putting the pillow behind his head for support. “Y/n, he’d be an idiot to reject you. And I’d remind him daily if he did. You are such a catch, it’d be a shame if he let you go to waste,” he told you earnestly.

“I-, thank you, Tendou. It means a lot-“

“Oh shit, I didn’t know you guys were in the middle of something,” Semi voiced when he let himself into your dorm, a reoccurring scene he’s noticed.

“Eita!” You greeted him, immediately getting off of Tendou to go hug the setter.

“Semi-Semi, I thought your practice was going to last longer,” Tendou said, taking note of the small glare Semi gave him.

“Stop calling me that and we finished early,” the ash blonde responded before turning to you. “What about you? Did you manage to pick a song?”

“I did!” you told him with a smile.

-

After two weeks of practicing it was finally the night of the talent show. You had your guitar in a soft case, that Semi had given you, across your back. Were you nervous? Yes. Of the crowd? Not exactly. What you told Semi and Tendou wasn’t a lie. You didn’t care about what people thought of you, unless they were people you cared about. You cared about how your friends would react. You cared about what Semi’s band members thought. You even cared about what the members of the volleyball team would think, even if you’ve only met them a few times. But most importantly, you cared about what Semi’s opinion of your performance was.

You and Semi have sang along to numerous songs in different settings, even taking turns to do karaoke in the car. All those times you didn’t care about what he thought because you were so comfortable being around him, but now that it matters, that’s when your self doubt kicked in.

“Ready?” Semi asked you from behind, making you jump.

You took a deep breath after the scare before smiling up at him, “Nope, but I’m up soon.”

“Indeed you are. You’ll do great. I know you will.” Semi’s honesty was something you always admired about him. In your three years of friendship, he’s never lied to you. He’s always evaluated the situation and told you his thoughts without a single waver in his voice. Him believing in you, gave you all the confidence in the world.

You guys were standing side to side watching the other acts perform their talents from side stage. As your turn neared closer, he raised an arm over your shoulder, rubbing it to help ease your nerves causing you to lean your head on him.

“Hey, I gotta tell you something later,” you spoke, avoiding looking at him.

“Tell me now,” he responded gently.

“Nah. After we perform.”

“Alright,” he laughed. “Ima go find the guys, we’re up after you. Good luck, don’t fuck up or else you won’t hear the end of it from me.”

“Ha, ha, ha. Okay jackass. Good luck to you too. Tell the boys I wish them luck too.”

As soon as Semi left your side, the announcer spoke up to announce it was now your turn to perform. You took a deep breath before shaking each of your limbs to make sure they were working. Once you concluded that they were, you made your way to the center of the stage.

“Good evening, L/N, the stage is all yours,” the announcer spoke before placing the microphone on a stand and adjusting it to your height while you grabbed the chair left on stage for you to use. You gave him a silent nod before he left the stage.

“Thank you,” you spoke while grabbing the mic to tilt it a little more towards you. “I’m going to be singing a song by a band called ONE OK ROCK. This song is called ‘Wherever You Are’. Please enjoy.”

Wherever you are, I'll always make you smile

Wherever you are, I'm always by your side

Whatever you say, kimi wo omou kimochi

I promise you "forever" right now

You were almost done with the song and decided to look up and scan the crowd. You were quick to notice Tendou and Ushijima sitting in the crowd, Tendou looking more impressed than the latter. When your eyes connected with the judges you remembered situation you were in and closed your eyes to put all your effort into the last three lines. It went quiet in the auditorium after you finished which only made your eyes stay shut until loud clapping and hollering commenced, one voice sticking out from all the rest.

“Wooooo! Go y/n!” You could hear Tendou yell. You looked up to make eye contact with him again. He was grinning from ear to ear while talking to the people beside him, most likely telling them he knew you.

You grabbed the microphone again and gave a small chuckle before speaking, “thank you, everyone.”

The announcer came back into the stage and gave you a hand to help you get up from the chair. While you put the guitar away he put the chair away and spoke into the microphone as you waved the crowd goodbye. “Beautiful wasn’t it? So passionate. Thank you so much for blessing all of our ears with your voice. Now, up next we have another musical performance. This next one is a group and they call themselves Eagle Thorns! Please welcome Eita, Ranmaru, Subaru, and Jiro to the stage!”

Subaru walked up first with his drum sticks in his hand and made his way to his kit. Once he got to his seat, he raised one arm up waved to greet the crowd. Jiro and Ranmaru walked up together with their instruments and waved to the crowd as they went to their spots. Semi followed them from a couple feet behind with his guitar and made his way to center stage. “Hope you guys still have some energy after all the performances you’ve seen tonight. We are Eagle Thorns and if there’s any parents in the room, I hope you brought some ear plugs,” Semi joked.

You were standing off to the side of the stage watching them. It was funny to you because they were really acting how they did for any other gig. You’ve been to almost all of their shows and we’re still amazed every time they took the stage.

“This song is an original. It’s called ‘Late’.”

I can't stop thinking it, thinking it

I can't stop thinking it, thinking it

That it's a little too late, a little too late, a little too late, a little too late

“Here we go!” Semi yelled into the mic. What followed was Ranmaru sing the first part of the hard vocals while Jiro did the second part which made you realize why Semi made his joke directed towards the parents earlier. In true Semi fashion, he found a way to include some spice into the band’s performance.

What kept bothering you was his use of the word ‘mistake’. All it did was make you question who he was talking about. You went down the list of people you thought it could’ve been but as far as you knew, Semi didn’t talk to a lot of people regularly. He preferred to keep his social circle small.

“Thank you so much for giving us a chance to play tonight. Before we leave the stage I’d like to ask someone very special to come up to the stage. They already know who they are,” Semi spoke into the mic.

A couple of performers that had gone up before were whispering amongst themselves.

“Is he doing what I think he’s doing?”

“Super bold move of him if he is.”

“Oh my god! He’s gonna ask someone to be his date for the dance next week!”

After that last comment you could feel a bunch of gazes landing on your form. The small group of students were now encouraging you to go up, but all you could do was grip into the strap that was across your body for comfort.

“Y/n! He’s talking about you!”

“Y/n go up there! What are you waiting for?”

“It’s not me guys,” you spoke. You knew you weren’t that special someone the moment Semi turned to the direction that was the opposite of where you were. “After all, we’re just friends.”

The group around you grew very confused from your response until they looked forward and saw someone else walk on stage towards the lead singer.

“I can’t stop thinking about you. Would you go on a date with me and accompany me next week to the dance?” Semi asked the girl, who you knew nothing about. He was asking out someone you had no idea existed.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” you excused yourself from the people surrounding you and bolted to the closest restroom. When you made it outside the door, you slid off the guitar and placed it on the ground so you could run into a stall. You immediately took out your phone and started texting Tendou asking him to come to your dorm so you could have a shoulder to cry on since the one you normally rely on isn’t an option at the moment. Tendou responded immediately, encouraging you to at least wait until the event is over for the awards ceremony. You were about to text him back but froze when you heard foot steps.

“I think she’s in here,” a soft voice spoke.

“It has to be this one, who else’s guitar would this be?” another voice spoke.

“Hmm,” a third girl spoke. “Hi, we’re looking for L/n Y/n! We-“

“Shhhh! You don’t have to be so loud, Izumi,” the second voice spoke.

“I don’t think it was a good idea to come looking for them now.”

“You’re probably right, but we wouldn’t have another opportunity to talk to them.”

What could they want with you? What could some strangers possibly want to talk to you about? You quietly leaned forward on the plastic door to look through the crack to judge the situation. There were three girls total, and one of them looked mean. As much as you didn’t like judging people based on their looks, the other two girls appeared to be nicer which made you take a chance.

“You’re looking for me?” You asked, stepping out of the stall while wiping your eyes.

The girl with the soft voice immediately took notice of your state and turned to grab a paper towel and wet it before handing it to you. “Here you go,” she said with a small smile.

“Uh, thank you,” you responded awkwardly.

“Sorry we’re meeting like this but we wanted to ask you a question. Would you be interested in being in our band? We’d love to have you,” the girl you were on edge about asked.

“You want me in your band? I only know how to play acoustic guitar, I’m an amateur at best,” you responded honestly while dabbing your face with the wet paper towel.

“Okay but you sing amazingly! We need a lead singer and your voice matches our vibe! At least think about it. Please. Let’s change information,” the louder one spoke as she handed you her phone.

You gave a genuine smile to the girls before accepting the device and started entering your information as you took yours out so she could do the same.

“Award ceremony is starting! All performers please make your way to the stage!” Someone yelled from the hallways.

You were about to speak but the leader of the girls spoke up for you. “Guess that means you, girly. Good luck!” She handed you your guitar back and ushered you out of the bathroom so you’d be able to make it where you needed to be on time.

-

When you made it back to the stage, Semi quickly made his way towards you, leaving his band behind, with a smile on his face. “Hey! Where’d you go?” He asked, completely unaware that you ran off to go cry.

“Not important,” you told him dryly.

Giving you a confused look he decided to continue the conversation. “Alright... well what was it you were gonna tell me?”

Now you were having an internal battle within yourself. Do you actually confess to him after he technically just confessed to someone else? Do you tell him something else? Or, do you just not tell him anything?

Knowing the last option would just cause him to bug you until you told him something you decided to go with the second option.

“I was gonna say that there’s a big name in the crowd tonight. Someone from a record label is here to scout out a new artist but I don’t know who.”

“Oh shit. No way! Hope they liked us.”

“Yeah.”

At this point you didn’t know what to do. You were upset that he’s never spoken about this person to you before. You thought you were closer than this. Don’t best friends tell each other about their crushes? Don’t best friends tell each other about things like this? Did you see Semi more as a best friend than he did for you? Were you putting in more effort into the relationship than he was this entire time? Were you so stuck in your fantasy that every small task he did for you mean nothing to him? Was he just being nice to you?

“Semi, who is she?” you asked trying not to cry for the second time in the past hour.

“Semi?” He asked taking notice of how you used his last name instead of his first name. “She’s someone I’ve been seeing on the low for about a month now.”

A month. He’s kept her away from you for a month.

“Why haven’t you ever introduced me to her?”

“I didn’t think it was important.”

“Why would you think that?” You asked with in a louder tone.

He looked at you even more confused as to why you were acting the way you were. “Sorry, I didn’t know I needed my friend’s approval to date someone?” Semi responded with the same tone you did, but with a little more bite.

His answer left you feeling as if you’ve been stabbed in the front. Out of all the ways he could’ve said, he chose to respond like that? Not wanting to draw attention you guys you decided to end the conversation before it got out of hand. “Don’t talk to me Semi,” you told him before turning to walk away from him.

He tried to reach out to grab your arm and ask you what the hell your problem was but the announcer spoke up.

“Alright, now that everyone is here and the judges have counted their votes, it’s time to announce the winners! In third place we have the dance duo! Congrats you guys!”

You were walking behind the line of performers so that the crowd would hopefully not see you walk off the stage as the announcer spoke.

“And in second place we have Eagle Thorns!” You froze at the loud cheers that erupted and the arm that you recognized belonged to Jiro as the hugged you from excitement right when you walked by.

“And in first place, drum roll please... we have L/n Y/n! Congratulations!” Now you can’t help yourself. Being too overwhelmed with emotions is never a good thing because now here you are, letting tears fall in front of a whole room of people. Jiro immediately picked you up and spun you around before putting you down and encouraging you to walk to center stage to accept the fake trophy that you weren’t expecting. You wiped your tears for a second time that night and gave a slight wave to the crowd before speaking into the microphone that the announcer was holding for you.

“Judges, thank you so much. I honestly didn’t think I’d win this but from the bottom of my heart thank you so, so, much!”

While you were giving your thank you speech, all Semi could do is question why you were so upset. As far as he knew, you had a thing for Tendou and Tendou had a thing for you, so why were you so invested in his relationship?

[painandpleasure86]

A request! Freddie/Brian + “Are you that red because you’re out of breath or because you’re flustered?” 📝💛

Hello!!! Thanks for the request!! Sorry that it took me a lot of time to do it, I had the event of the blog plus some personal stuff and lack of inspiration. Anyway, I hope you like it!!! I wrote it with all my love.

Like all the requests, they're here too (AO3)

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Rehearsal there. A time to be prepared to the show. A time of hard work. A time to have fun too, why not?

After rehearsing the first half of the show, Freddie was rehearsing the acoustic intercept with Brian, his lover. They loved to share that time together, it was so relaxing. The public loved that moment of the show too, accompany them with some lighters or singing or even taking photos to immortalize the moment. 

They were in a huge arena, it had a roundy shape and the roof was high. All the normal lights, among the scenario lights, were on and the a/c was on too, it was a hot July day. They could feel the breeze of the a/c on their body.

Freddie was practising a bit his speech to the public. He wanted, not only greet the crowd and say the classic stuff about being happy to be there with them, but also wanted to talk about his relationship with Brian publicly. Gossip magazines and yellow press in general were talking about Freddie’s love life, spreading the rumour that he returned with an ex. The truth was that he remained as friends and even gone out with him and another friends, but that kind of press didn’t give a damn about the truth. They just wanted (and want, let’s be honest) to make money with lies or not confirmed stuff, just because they wanted to have “the exclusive”. So Freddie wanted, with this part of this speech, to say the truth about his love life.

Anyway, Freddie were there with Brian, like if it was the show. Meanwhile, Roger and John were smoking a cigarette and chatting about life while all of this was happening. This part of the rehearsal it was a rest for them and they made the most of it.

“Well people” Freddie started, watching the empty stadium, “today is the day where I want to tell you something. I’m in a relationship, yes, but with him” he added, side hugging Brian.

The roadies acted like the public, cheering them loudly. Their bandmates joined the cheering, when they listened to the roadies. Roger and John knew about it too, so despite they were talking about another stuff, they stopped to cheer their bandmates.

Brian was surprised, he didn’t know how to react. He started to feel a bit flustered and also his cheeks turned rosy red quickly. 

“I… hmmm… ahm….” the guitarist babbled, lost for words.

Freddie stopped to act like if it was the show and watched to Bri’s face. 

“Bri, honey, are you okay?” the singer asked.

Brian continued babbling.

“Are you that red because you’re out of breath or because you’re flustered?” Freddie asked kindly, smiling.

“I-is it… th-that noticeable?” Bri responded, confused, touching his cheeks. He could feel the warmness of his cheeks against his hands.

Freddie nodded.

Brian started to feel more flustered, covering his face with his hands.

Freddie started to laugh.

“Awww darling you look so cute”

“Really Fred…?” Bri asked a bit incredulous, stopping to touch his face to return to his guitar. 

“I’m being honest here love, you know I’m a sappy person when I want to.” Freddie added.

The guitarist couldn’t help but smile. "Okay..." he added, sighing. "If you say so..."

"You should believe more in yourself. You're so pretty, intelligent and smart... you're so talented, you're so kind... and you're so lovely too"

Brian couldn't stop smiling, he wasn't flustered then but he was flattered.

Freddie contemplated Brian’s smile. Freddie loved Brian’s smile. One of his favourites things in the world was Brian’s smile. Loved how his canines popped out. Loved how wide his smile was. Loved how his eyes were shining then. Loved his rosy cheeks. He felt the need to kiss him, he was feeling so much in love with the guitarist.

Freddie got closer to Bri and give him a little smooch on his lips. Brian’s face was redder. Brian’s smile then was wider.

“Clearly, you were flustered” Freddie finished, with a candid smile, ready to continue the rehearsal.