#well not messed up bc they are already messed up but maybe they’re trying to adjust idk

[cynical-things]

I wish I never went on the fucking implant ffffffjdjdjdjdnd it fucked my body up so bad and it’s still not better even tho I got that piece of shit taken out 10 months ago

[chelseeebe]

jinx

18+ mdni. no smut but eddie is a grade a asshole to poor reader. mentions of weed and alcohol throughout. eddie munson x fem reader.

a/n: first off, anon i am sooo sooooo sorry it has taken me this long to fulfill your request!! i absolutely loved this request and am absolutely honoured that you came to me for it<33 i hope i've done it justice and that you still care to read this:') side note, i've updated my masterlist as i have slacked a bit but everything should be on there now ^.^

love me some chelseeebe angst—imagine fuckboy!eddie plays at the hideout right like regularly. reader starts frequenting his show days bc she likes him obviously but he starts noticing something. every time she comes in, something goes wrong. either he messes up a chord or cant see to flirt properly therefore no one ends up warming his bed as of late or something of the sort

his immediate first thought is ‘she’s a jinx!!!’ bc what other explanation could there be in his boy brain??? so he asks her to stop coming in. she does and yet he continues to mess up bc all he can think abt is her.

itd be so sexy if u added a moment of realization/angry love confession where in the middle of him being like you’ve bewitched me or something!!! he realizes hes the one obsessed with her.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

the party hums on in the background, a small group gathered outside to rob eddie blind, smoking away his entire supply. 

robin giggles nonsensically into steve’s shoulder, too high for her own good. 

“if you’re gonna smoke all my shit, the least you can do is come watch us tomorrow,” eddie had been nagging his friends to come down the hideout for months. they’d gathered a solid crowd now, not much but it was a start. 

robin groans, nancy and jonathan shift in their seats, steve can barely muster enough energy to reply and argyle snores. hardly enthusiastic about his dreams. 

“i’ll come,” you offer, bright-eyed as you smile politely at him from the floor. 

a friend of a friend, someone robin met in class and had dutifully introduced to the group. he didn’t know you well, nor had he ever really cared to. 

“i don’t think you’d like it, sweetheart” eddie retorts, flattered that you’d try and spare his feelings but he didn’t need your pity. 

“why? you can’t be that bad,” chuckling quietly to yourself. 

his eyes narrow, scoffing, “we’re not,” misunderstanding, or maybe just not caring to humour you back, “come if you want,” he shrugs nonchalantly, not as if any of his friends had offered to attend. 

“okay,” nodding along, “i will.” 

“alright,” turning his attention back to the embering joint glued to argyles fingers. 

who cares if you come? eddie certainly doesn’t. 

-

sure enough, the same couple dozen old drunks fill the bar, their glossy, zombie-like eyes stare back at him from the floor. he’d complain but beggars can’t be choosers and all that. 

they’re partway through the second song when something reflects in his eye, a low-cut sequinned top that would definitely look better on the floor of his van. 

it’s only when his eyes travel up that he realises it’s you who’s wearing that shirt, already looking straight back at him. a newfound look about you, thick lines of black line your eyes, worlds apart from the mousy girl who’d invited herself last night. 

“and we’re-,” he sings, an abrupt case of dry mouth as the next line struggles to come out, “we’re.. uh,” the entire song erased from his memory within seconds. 

he steps back from the mic, blinking rapidly in an attempt to trigger his voice though all he can see is you and that ridiculous top. 

gareth’s head whips round, still strumming along before picking up eddie’s slack, continuing the lyrics on his own, not without a damning glare in eddie’s direction. 

holy fuck. 

he’s just, taken aback, that’s all. shocked that you’d even bother to come, less so put the effort in to actually look the part too. 

his eyes don’t leave the back wall for the rest of the gig, practically stumbling through all of the songs as his head threatens to wander. trailing back to you only as they finish, walking off stage to down the harshest whisky the bar would allow. 

you saunter over a couple minutes later, while eddie tries his hardest not to stare right down your shirt. he’s not certain that he won’t choke on his words if you speak to him. 

“you were really good tonight,” you assure, smiling softly as his band mate turns to gawp. 

“uh, yeah.. thanks,” eddie fumbles, gripping the neck of his beer bottle, “thanks for coming.” 

there’s an aura surrounding you, like a wretched spell you’d evoked in him, turning him to a bumbling fool. 

“i’m gonna head out..” gesturing to the door, “see you around,” waving your fingers coyly at him before disappearing. 

his eyes linger at the door, wondering if maybe you’ll turn around and come back. not that he wants that. just curious as to why you’d come out just to see him play. 

“now who the hell was that?” jeff ogles, receiving a swift elbow to the ribs from eddie and a loud oof as he clutches his side. 

“a friend of a friend,” brushing him off, “don’t be weird about it,” jumping the gun to squash any sorts of ideas festering in his mind. 

“you’re the only one being weird about it,” jeff retorts, grabbing his beer and shuffling off. 

“i’m not being weird,” eddie calls from behind, “i’m not!” 

okay maybe he was being a little weird. 

who cares? 

definitely not eddie. 

-

this week, he feels more prepared to see you nodding along in the crowd, robin had joined you albeit looking less than impressed. 

eddie’s killing it, at least he thinks. avoiding looking anywhere in your direction, keeping his gaze on the stumbling drunk at the back instead. 

but the thoughts of you can’t help but creep into his mind, were you enjoying it? do you think he’s bad? why does he even care so much? 

his hand slides down the neck of the guitar, playing the wrong chord entirely, his fingers curating a mind of their own. 

fuck fuck fuck. 

why does this keep happening? 

gareth glares at him again, he had never been so frustrated with his idiot bandmate in his life. sure eddie liked to dick around in rehearsal but never on stage. 

if eddie ever wanted a career in music, he needed to get a monumental grip on himself. weird girls he barely knew should not have the capacity to ruin his career. 

after they clamber off stage, eddie makes a point of not going over to the two of you. no, you can come to him. 

though he wishes you’d just be a little faster at it if he’s honest. too busy squished into a booth with one of the younger regulars to care about him. 

heat rises in his chest, searing his cheeks a bright rouge, “-who is that?” gareth interrupts, bumping into his arm. 

“who’s who?” eddie coughs, clearing his throat as his eyes snap back. 

“that girl you’ve been staring at,” peering across the room to get a glimpse. 

“i’m not staring at anyone,” abruptly turning his head in the opposite direction, proving to himself that he wasn’t staring, not really. 

“you’re a liar,” gareth calls him on his bullshit immediately, “go talk to her! she’s hot,” scooting his friend along. 

“no she’s not,” you looked good tonight, he’d give you that, “can everyone please just stop being weird about this? first jeff- now you? honestly, i don’t get it,” working himself into a frenzy over what really was nothing. 

gareth’s eyes widen, scoffing at his melodramatic performance, “alright man.. calm down,” shaking his head in mild disgust. 

eddie was totally calm, you know, apart from his heart pounding in his chest. 

nothing major. 

-

filthy, downright pornographic sounds fill his cramped van, certain that it was rocking side to side with the utter obscenity happening in the back. 

chloe sits atop of his lap, tongues dancing around one another as she glides her hips back and forth. she was a regular, slightly older than eddie, at least he thinks, they’d made eyes a few times but only tonight had he gathered the courage to go and speak to her. 

any other time, eddie would be rock solid, pinning her down and fucking her into the dusty floor. today, it’s just not happening. 

his mind elsewhere, too preoccupied with nonsense to appreciate the opportunity at hand. 

he's thinking about you and the fact you’d left the bar without ever coming over to him tonight. what the fuck was that about? 

had he done something wrong? 

he breaks apart from her mouth, heaving into the tiny gap between them, “i don’t know what’s going on..” he chuckles awkwardly, looking down at his useless dick, “normally something happens by now..” 

she frowns, deep-set, showing her age more than before, “oh.” 

he reaches down, furiously palming his cock through his jeans. 

nothing. not even a twitch. 

he wants to curl up and die. never in his three years of actually getting laid has this ever happened. eddie got hard at the drop of a pin, he’d only have to think about boobs and his jeans would shift. 

so why the fuck wasn’t it working tonight?

“i’m gonna go,” chloe scowls, clambering over his legs, gathering her bag while not even attempting to hide her disappointment. 

eddie shoots up, pathetically crawling after her, desperate not to let her go. 

“it’s not me!” he screams out, watching helplessly as she crawls out of the van, “it’s you!”

no. 

“wait no! shit, that’s not what i meant,” peeking out of the van to find the empty parking lot, zero women to be found, “fuck sake.” 

left to wallow in his self-pity, alone, in the back of his dirty van. 

just as he deserved. 

if this was some karmic intervention, telling him to be a better person, he certainly wasn’t paying it any attention. 

-

another party meant another night of eddie trying to understand why the hell you had such an effect on him. 

it’s not even like you’re doing anything particularly riveting, sat with your drink in hand, nodding along to robin’s story. 

he can’t stand it. 

you have to go. 

maybe not like that, but he had to put some distance between you. there’s no way he could keep his sanity while you were still a constant in his life. 

eddie sidles over, feeling like the smartest guy in the room. he could do this, separate himself from you and your clutches and go back to playing as he once did. 

you smile upon him appearing, sickly and sweet. it makes his heart thump in the weirdest way. 

“oh.. hey,” playing this entirely nonchalantly, “i just thought i’d let you know that we’re not playing next week,” lying through his teeth, guilt ridden but really, it was necessary if he wanted to play a gig without fucking up the entire time. 

“oh,” sounding somewhat disappointed, “okay.. how come?” 

shit. 

he can’t think of a single valid reason as to why they wouldn’t be playing. 

“jeff’s sick.. real bad,” feeling even more guilty for lying about his friends health, wondering if he’s cursing jeff as you did him, “might even be a couple weeks off at this point.”

eddie was a terrible person. 

but so were you. 

bewitching him under some spell, forcing him to play terribly and embarrass himself in front of women 

you’ve jinxed him. a bad omen cursing him to play like a fucking amateur. that’s the only logical explanation his pea brain can conjure up anyway. 

that meant you had to stay away from the shows, from him preferably. 

he couldn’t understand why you have this effect on him, why your mere presence has him becoming a floundering fool. you don’t intimidate him, not even close. 

it’s almost as if he cares too much about what you think, to the extent that he overthinks it so hard that he fucks up. 

a curse that could only be broken with some distance between you. that way he could focus on the show instead of you and your doe eyes reflecting off of the stage lights. 

that’s what he’s praying for anyway. 

-

eddie despises wednesday’s. itching to get his classes over and done with so he can get his small taste of stardom on that tiny hideout stage. 

at some point over the last few weeks of you being an omnipotent presence in his life, he’d grown accustomed to crossing paths with you before the gig. 

crossing campus with your chin tucked down, arms wrapped tight around your books. typically only sharing a smile or a short nod. 

but this week you saunter over, resembling a frightened deer even more than usual. 

he pulls his headphone from his ear, anticipating whatever nonsensical, vaguely cute thing you were going to say. 

“hey,” he nods, a coy smile. 

even now you have his palms sweating, overthinking whether he should’ve said hi or hello instead. 

“you didn’t have to lie to me,” you start, brows furrowed, “it’s fine if you don’t want me to go to your gigs anymore, i don’t care,” a disappointed frown plaguing your normally cheerful face. “i thought i liked you eddie, really- but i don’t know anymore.. you’re not a good person.” 

you turn to walk off before he can even compute your words. 

oh shit. 

“wait!” he calls but it’s useless, “i didn’t- i wasn’t- fuck.”

it was unthinkably cruel, he didn’t think you’d ever find out. and maybe that was his problem, assuming you didn’t care enough to find out. 

guilt addles his chest, weighing heavy on his heart. for good reason too. 

eddie was an asshole. a true, grade-a asshole that wayne would positively despise him for. 

wait wait wait. 

you liked him? 

you liked him?

absolutely not. no way. that wasn’t what this was about.

or it’s not supposed to be. 

no, this was some adolescent feud, a confusing, one-sided, friendship that he couldn’t get a grip on. 

you didn’t like him. girls like you weren’t supposed to. 

-

it’s not at all surprising that he plays like absolute shit tonight too. 

guilt ridden for forcing your hand, for making you look at him like that. as if he were the worst person to walk the earth. 

shit, maybe he was. 

kind hearted people didn’t lie and deceive. no, kind hearted people came to gigs they obviously didn’t give a shit about. kind hearted people feigned interest in boring spiel about weed strains and whatever the fuck else eddie jabbered on about at parties. 

you, you were kind. kinder than he deserved. 

gareth slaps him harshly on the back the second they’re back behind the curtain, a scornful yet pitying scowl on his face, “look man,” he begins, “i dunno what’s going on with you but i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna let us play here if you keep playing like that.”

eddie sighs, because he knows this. he’s well aware that his performances have been lacklustre for weeks now. he just doesn’t really understand why. 

at first he thought it was just because you were there, a distance friend who would feed back to his friends about how good, or bad, he was. 

but that wasn’t it. 

you were there, and then you weren’t. and he still played like shit. 

somewhere entangled deep within his wretched heart, he thinks that maybe he just wanted to impress you. 

a nice girl, cares about her studies way more than he does, pretty too and you didn’t look at him like he was just some out of touch stoner with crazy dreams of his band getting big. 

you were polite, listening to his wacky stories and dreams of playing for thousands, in fact, you encouraged them, more than his friends ever had for sure. 

eddie’s not sure if, or how, he’ll ever be able to make amends for how he’s treated you. 

-

he’s making himself sick with worry. guilt wracking his brain. 

you don’t turn up that night, obviously. 

eddie’s eyes mindlessly search the crowd for any hint of you. his fingers failing to correspond with the rest of band, always playing a beat behind. 

you had infected him, ruined his once masterful skill to just a shell of what it once was. 

he doesn’t lay opportunity for the boys to speak to him again, rushing out of the bar as soon as his guitar is back in her case. 

there’s only one place he can think about going. 

a few months back, you’d hosted robin’s birthday party there and eddie had disgraced your bathroom with a girl he can’t even remember now. 

his fist bangs on the door, hoping the light in the upstairs window was you and not one of your roommates he’d have to shamefully apologise to. 

the orange light cascades over your face, peeking out from the barely cracked door with a frown that would scare any man off. 

“what’re you doing?” you spit, looking backwards in hopes he hadn’t woken the entire house up. 

“listen,” he sighs, “i’m real sorry about.. you know, lying to you,” his shoulders slumped over themselves, “but i just- i can’t fucking play when you’re there, can’t play when you’re not,” sounding utterly pathetic, begging for you to cure him from this sudden sickness. “i don’t know what to do anymore,” dragging his hand over his face. 

rightfully earning his spot as the worlds biggest fucking loser, stood on your doorstep begging for an answer. 

when he opens his eyes enough to look at you, you’re scowling back at him. nothing like how he had planned this situation in his head. 

he’d hoped that miraculously you’d understand, accept his apology and somehow still feel the same as you had. 

because that was it, really. 

too terrified to face the fact that he liked you too. 

somewhere in his heart of hearts he’d known it from the start. that’s why his heart fluttered when you’d volunteered to come or why he’d struggled to even touch anyone else. 

“what do you want me to say?” shrugging, “i won’t come back, that’s fine,” he wishes you’d just follow the script he’d curated for you. 

eddie doesn’t want you to stop coming, he never had. it’s killing him that you even believed that, twisting the knife in his chest further and further the more your bottom lip juts out and your eyes water. 

“actually, maybe it’s best if we don’t talk anymore,” you suggest, throwing him completely off kilter. 

woah. 

that wasn’t at all what he wanted nor was he trying to say. he just couldn’t gather the actual words he needed to express that to you. 

petrified that he’d admit to his feelings and you’d just turn around and laugh, how could someone like you ever like such a cruel man? 

“wait no, that’s not what i meant-,” bargaining with you for a little time to explain himself, though you definitely didn’t owe him any.

“-thanks for coming eddie, i’ll see you around,” flashing him a crestfallen smile before abruptly closing the door in his face. 

-

public humiliation was truly the only way eddie could think to make it up to you. 

well that and maybe a little big nudge from robin. 

he’d rather stupidly asked about you on saturday night, confused why you weren’t there alongside robin, who had very quickly got him in check. 

“why do you think dumbass?” she snapped, snarling her teeth at him, “you were an asshole and now she’s doesn’t want to come anymore,” her glare powerful and harsh, "i'd say you were lucky she didn't punch you in the face."

he’d deserve it. 

it had taken weeks of convincing to get you anywhere near the hideout again. not to mention the hundreds in free weed he’d had to bribe robin with to get her to help. 

you stand in a dark corner, hands folded against your chest, puzzled and irritated by robin’s incessant begging to get you here. 

“there’s someone here that i wanna apologise to,” his eyes don’t find you as easy this time, after weeks of missing your presence, he’s not used to you actually being in the crowd again, “if you know us, you know i can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, uh..” they find you, the lump only growing in his throat, “i’m sorry,” tunnel vision blocking out every other body in the room, “i’m really, really sorry.”

you blink, staring back at him like a deer caught in headlights. it makes him a little bit nauseous to recall how dreadfully he’d treated you, how you deserved absolutely none of it. 

your gaze lowers, and eddie can’t decide how to take it. he wouldn’t blame you if you decided to never forgive him, but he also couldn’t take it if you didn’t. 

his voice cracks a little as he speaks, “this is.. uh, we’re corroded coffin,” stepping back from the mic to gather his thoughts before the drum comes crashing in. 

-

eddie plays the best he’s potentially ever played. 

a force overcoming him to prove that he truly wasn’t as much as a loser as he’s shown himself to be.  

usually, he couldn’t wait to be off that stage and to the bar but today he’s dreading it. 

knowing that you’re somewhere out there waiting for an explanation. 

or maybe you weren’t. he wouldn’t blame you if you’d decided to leave soon after he’d embarrassed himself with that shitty apology. 

gareth runs up behind him, using his shoulders to launch himself into the air, “holy shit! that was amazing!” the boy presses a slobbery kiss to his cheek before continuing, “whatever the hell you did, keep doing it because that was insane!” running off past eddie to grab his weekly complimentary beer. 

a sudden sickness fills his stomach, slyly hoping that he could slip out of here before anyone else noticed him. 

you stand across the bar, waiting to catch his eye with your lips curled only ever-so-slightly. 

eddie’s limbs go stiff, still entranced by your jinx. by you.

your eyes trail away to the door as his follow, shuffling your way through the bustling crowd. 

his legs carry him without a second thought, out into the cool night as his eyes frantically search for you. 

he finds you perched against the crumbling stone wall a few feet from the entrance, just far enough away from the prying eyes of the smoking patrons. 

“i didn’t think you’d ever come back here,” is all he can say, feet trailing along the gravel. 

the streetlight glistens orange from your eyes, staring up at him from your perch, “i didn’t want to,” your smile only growing as he nears, “robin made me.” 

“oh,” it wasn’t as if he didn’t know that or that he didn’t orchestrated the entire thing, it just felt odd to hear it from your mouth. 

“i’m glad i came,” you clarify, allowing him to finally release the breath held tight in his chest. 

eddie dares to move closer, sitting back on the brick just inches away, “yeah?” 

you nod, the great big smile he’d forced away making a return at last, “yeah.” 

suddenly the air feels thick, it was easier apologising on stage, those people didn’t know him, they didn’t care. but now, sat here in front of you, it feels like he’s swallowing knives. 

“i’m really sorry for making you feel that way,” though it sounds meaningless now the damage was done, “i don’t know if you still care about me at all, but i- um,” his throat runs dry, clamping his eyes shut. it felt easier that way, somehow, “i think the reason why i was such.. an asshole,” the light flickers through his eyelids again, deciding that you at least deserved to see him, “fuck,” he exclaims, staring back at your confused expression. 

“it’s okay,” soothing even now, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me,” a twinge of sadness running through your tone. 

“no, no i do,” eddie persists. he’d fumbled once, he couldn’t do it again. “shit man,” he sighs, “i’m trying to tell you that i like you too, or maybe not too, i know i was an ass and i don’t deserve your forgiveness-,” your lips cuts him off mid-mumble, surging forward to press them against his blathering ones. 

he has to blink a couple times, taking in whatever the fuck was happening to him. 

you pull back, disappointed that his brain had been to fuzzy to focus on kissing you back. too preoccupied with trying not to explode and paint you in red. 

“really eddie.. it’s okay,” returning to your usual reserved self while his brain still struggles to compute. 

“can we do that again?” he asks politely, keeping the bubbling excitement to a minimum. 

you laugh, a real, throaty laugh, something he hadn’t heard in weeks, “only if you promise to stop talking,” leaning in once more, the rigid wall suddenly feeling like it was about to collapse from underneath him. 

your soft, cherry-tinted lips press against his forehead a second time, allowing him to gather his brain from a pile of mush on the floor just enough to actually kiss you back. a tender hand reaching out to caress his stubbly cheek, sending shockwaves through his limbs. 

you’re interrupted again by a loud whoop from behind, robin clapping wildly as she emerges from the bar, “now you two have kissed and made up, can we go home now?” 

[remcycl333]

your desire is a gift of god 🍁

I was reading “at your command” by neville goddard the other morning, and there was something he was talking about that I really loved. he reminds us that everything you desire, you desire because it’s meant to be yours. you wouldn’t desire something that u couldn’t or shouldn’t have, and when u desire something, it is the gift of god.

here is a part from "at your command" i really loved:

"don't be anxious or concerned as to results. they will follow just as surely as day follows night. look upon your desires--all of them--as the spoken words of God, and every word or desire a promise. the reason most of us fail to realize our desires is because we are constantly conditioning them. do not condition your desire. just accept as it comes to you. give thanks for it to the point that you are grateful for having already received it--then go about your way in peace." -Neville Goddard

whenever you think throughout the day “ugh i want *my desire*” (or something of the sort), don’t get upset or anxious bc you’re in the state of lack or “u messed everything up” etc. the past few days since ive read this, any time I catch myself thinking from lack, I just go “omg thank uuuuu it’s mine yayyy”

like…you desire something bc it’s supposed to be YOURS. your godself is SHOWING YOU what can give you the feeling you desire. like when you desire the feeling of love, your godself will make you desire that specific person bc that’s what will give you the feeling you crave. Or maybe you desire the feeling of security, so your godself gives you the desire of money or being rich. etc!

so when u desire something, that is a GIFT! your godself is showing u the thing that u deserve—the thing that is RIGHTFULLY YOURS!!!! u do not desire something by accident. u desire it bc it’s supposed to be yours!!!

in our society we’ve been taught that we “can’t always get what we want” and “things won’t always go our way” etc but like….no!!!! God is not supposed to WANT for anything like wtf??? if god wants something it’s bc it’s rightfully theirs

when u create literally everything in your reality, there is absolutely nothing in your reality that u don’t deserve. oh so money only exists bc we’re conscious of it existing yet we don’t deserve it??? that big mansion only exists bc we assume it does yet we don’t deserve it??? NO!!!!! (not saying we deserve the bad things in our reality. we just deserve the things we DESIRE)

we’ve been conditioned by the people who haven’t been awoken to the law that life isn’t fair and we don’t deserve anything in this world, but that’s simply not true. we deserve everything we want, bc the only reason we want it—once again—is bc it’s supposed to be ours.

the reason i love this idea of saying “thank u” any time u think of wanting something is bc 1) it shifts u to wish fulfillment (saying thank u= u accept it as yours) and 2) youre accepting the gift of god!

like, wanting something isn’t bad. it’s THE GIFT OF GOD! you desire a certain feeling, and you give yourself the solution immediately. u feel lonely and want to feel—for lack of a better word—unlonely? here u go, u want a friend! on top of that, you want a GOOD friend, so here u go! u naturally desire what you’d consider a perfect friend maybe they’re loyal, the same age as you, live in your town, etc. you naturally desire all of these things without even trying!

I love this sm bc it’s kinda like, manifestation is already halfway done IMMEDIATELY! manifestation is started and completed in the 4d. u want a feeling….u give yourself the feeling. all done! yes ofc, as a side effect, it reflects in your 3D as well. but manifestation is completed before your desire even reflects in your outer-world.

the second u give yourself the feeling (give yourself your desire in the 4d) u successfully manifested it.

so if the steps are 1) desire a feeling and then 2) give yourself the feeling…by desiring something, your godself is showing u how to give yourself the feeling. for example, you want the feeling of being loved. so u naturally begin to desire being with a certain person. this is a gift! and you’re god, so it’s a gift you are giving yourself!

so you’re like, damn i want to feel loved…but how do I feel loved in my 4d??? BY GIVING YOURSELF YOUR DESIRE (your specific person) IN YOUR 4D!!!!! (for example)

u want a feeling, so your godself gives u a desire to show you how to feel it, and then u give it to urself in the 4d and feel the feeling, and then u manifest it INSTANTLY. slay! it’s that easy!!!! wanting things ISNT BAD!!!! it’s a TOOL!!!! a GIFT!!!!!

also like, if u notice u fell into a stack of lack and are thinking abt how badly u want your desire, DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP!!! u know why you’re thinking of how u want your desire?? bc ur godself is reminding u of how to give yourself the feeling baby say thanks!! & keep going

I think this is such a simple and comforting and exciting way to look at the law. like, wanting things isn’t bad and you only want something bc you’re SUPPOSED TO GET IT!! I hope this resonates with y’all!!! 🤍

(i wrote this two months ago at 3am and you can kinda tell lol but i love this post so! here it is in all it's glory :) adapted from my twitter thread)

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

a/n: this fic really only happened bc @youunravelme sent the pic of mat in the brown suit and said he looks like he could be carrying a diaper bag 😂 and then my mat and squeaks-loving heart ran with that! i’ve been telling their story in bits and pieces and out of order, but this story has more mention of squeaks’ mental state post-partum

word count: 4.2k

tw: mentions of post-partum anxiety, mentions of being on anti-anxiety medication, body image issues,

summary: being a bridesmaid in a wedding out east is the perfect reason for a little family and friends getaway, but you can’t completely let go of your anxieties

You should be having fun, getting ready with the girls and having your hair and makeup done, but your chest feels tight and you’re finding it hard to breathe.

Maybe air. You need air.

Rubbing at your sternum with one hand curled into a fist, you wander over to the French doors of the bridal suite, pushing them open and sticking your head out onto the balcony. The slight breeze off of Sag Harbor Bay is helping, the salty air cool and taking an edge off the mid-July heat.

A cool hand lands on your shoulder and you jump, turning slightly to see Kristy’s concerned face. “Are you okay?” She asks, a furrow between her eyebrows.

“I…yes? No?” You falter, fist still pressed against your chest. You recognize the anxiety symptoms, familiar as they are, but you’re not sure what triggered it. You’d been laughing just a few minutes ago, all the bridesmaids getting the final touches before heading out to line up for the ceremony.

“How about some water?” Kristy’s already uncapping a water bottle and handing it to you as she speaks, a mom multitasking.

You’re sipping at the water, your head spinning a little bit, when there’s a knock on the door to the suite. You can’t see who’s at the door, but you do hear Syd call your name, laughing, “we have an uninvited husband and baby here.”

“Oh!” You don’t have to see Mat and Talia for the knot in your chest to ease and for your breathing to get easier. They’re exactly who you needed and you don’t waste any time in hurrying as fast as your heeled feet will take you towards the door to the suite.

Mat’s hovering at the door, looking handsome and polished in his suit, a far cry from the disheveled, bed-headed mess you’d left behind at the Martins’ Hamptons home this morning. He’s got Talia in his arms, her back against his chest so she can see everything that’s going on. Syd’s squishing her little cheeks, making your fifteen-month-old giggle wildly and wriggle in Mat’s arms. The skirt of her summery floral dress is bunched up under Mat’s forearm, exposing chunky toddler legs.

“Hey!” Mat looks up and grins at you, the delighted expression on his face flickering when he sees whatever expression is on yours.

“Mama!” Talia shrieks and lunges for you, Mat’s arms tightening reflexively around the wiggly toddler.

Syd laughs and gives her a noisy kiss on the cheek. “Aunt Syd doesn’t hold a candle to Mom, I guess,” she shrugs and you offer her a faint smile.

“She’ll change her mind in like twenty minutes,” you joke, reaching out for her and stepping into Mat’s personal space. “Hi, Bug. Having a good morning with Daddy? I’ve missed you.” There’s a wobble to your voice and Mat doesn’t miss it.

“Hey,” he ducks his head closer to yours, his cheek brushing against the side of Talia’s head, “what’s going on? Are you okay?”

It’s the exact same question Kristy asked a few minutes ago, but when Mat asks it, you can’t help the tears that well up in your lash line or the hiccuping sob that escapes your lips even as you try to press them together.

Mat’s face immediately falls and he quickly kisses the side of Talia’s head, murmuring to her, “you’re gonna hang with Aunt Syd for a minute, okay, Bug?”

“No!” You nearly yelp, holding Talia’s fingers tighter. You don’t want her out of your sight. “No,” you repeat, quieter. “Just…just let me hang out with her for a minute.”

Talia chants her few words, mamas and dadas falling happily from her smiling mouth, her hands tucked in yours. You can feel the anxiety seep from your body, your shoulders lowering from your ears.

Mat nods and he secures Talia against his chest with one arm so he can cup your cheek with the other hand. His thumb brushes softly against your cheekbone and you lean into his touch, barely concerned about the layer of makeup coating your skin. “You were okay this morning,” he says, a statement that sounds more like a question.

“Mhm,” you hum a reply, smiling widely at Talia and brushing her dark curls off her face. She scrunches up her face and squeals when you tickle her cheeks. “I…I was okay until a few minutes ago, honestly. I don’t know, Mat.” You lift one shoulder in a shrug, knowing that your anxiety is unpredictable lately, less constant than in the months following Talia’s birth, but no less severe when the attacks hit.

Talia reaches for the chain of your necklace, tangling her little fingers in the fine metal, and you finally take her from Mat’s arms, only slightly concerned about wrinkling the chiffon of your lavender bridesmaid dress. She curls up against your chest, her head fitting perfectly under your chin, and you have to swallow back another wave of emotion.

He leans slightly against the doorframe and studies your face. After a beat, he says, “do you think you’re tapering off the Lexapro too fast?”

It’s been three months since you started tapering off, guided by your doctor’s advice, and it’s been hard. Easier now that it’s summertime and Mat’s around every day.

You shrug, shake your head. “I don’t think so, no? I took it this morning anyway,” you sigh, pressing your cheek against the top of Talia’s head. She’s wiggling in your arms, fighting to get loose and run around. “I’ve never been away from her for this long.”

“It’s only been eight hours,” Mat raises an eyebrow. His hand is on your hip now, stroking gently, and you try not to think about the layers of Spanx under your dress, the way your hips have spread since Talia’s birth, the stubborn ten pounds that won’t go away. You’re back in your pre-pregnancy size, technically, but you just don’t feel right in your skin yet and the bridesmaid dress is only serving to emphasize just how off you feel. The extra padding at your hips and chest feels strange to you, even though Mat’s proven time and time again that he can’t keep his hands off of you, no matter your size.

“Yeah,” you agree. “But she’s always with me, all day.”

Mat sighs your name. There’s a little defensiveness in the slope of his shoulders now. “I have her though,” he says. “I can handle her alone.”

“I know,” the words spill out, “I know you do! You’re the best dad, Mat. I just…feel like…like? It’s not that I didn’t think you were okay, I missed her. It’s scary, not to have her with me.” The hiccuping sob is back, shaking your voice, and you have to hoist Talia higher up on your hip. She’s babbling to herself, wiggling around, and you know you should let her toddle around to get some of her energy out before the ceremony, but you can’t seem to let her go.

You bite down hard on the inside of your cheek, trying not to think of the days she was in the NICU, when Mat was gone. You thought you were over that hump, worked through the trauma with your therapist and with Mat, but for whatever reason, today is really hard.

“Hey,” Mat reaches up and brushes at your cheek, wiping a tear away, “I know. Squeaks, I know. But she’s here and she’s okay and you’re not a bad mom.”

“Maybe I wasn’t ready for this,” you huff, embarrassment starting to settle in your stomach. You’re being dramatic. You’d said yes to being a bridesmaid before you even knew you were pregnant with Talia and even after her birth, since Syd and Kristy were also bridesmaids, you’d figured you would be okay surrounded by your friends.

Mat leans in to kiss the corner of your mouth, mindful of your lipstick. “You’re fine. Just a bad brain moment,” he mumbles, using your therapist’s phrase for your anxiety. “T and I are going to be cool during the ceremony and then the three of us will party it up with everyone else, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod, squeezing Talia one more time - getting an outraged squawk from her in return - before passing her back to Mat. They give you matching scrunch-faced smiles and you return a watery smile.

“Say bye to Mommy,” Mat jiggles Talia a bit and she giggles, waving and chanting a ‘bye bye, Mama’ in her sweet little voice.

“Bye bye, baby,” you wave back, your smile more natural now.

Mat leans in for one more quick kiss, Talia shrieking a giggle as she swoops forward in his arms. “You look beautiful,” he whispers against your cheek. “Lucky me, I get to go home with the hottest bridesmaid.”

Normally you’d roll your eyes at his flirting, but today you really needed the compliment. Your stomach warms and you smile gratefully at him.

He and Talia wave at you and she blows kisses, making you laugh as they head down the hallway and off to the outside patio where the ceremony will take place.

You’re feeling better after seeing them and when Syd and Kristy drag you back into the festivities and photographs, it’s fun again.

Mat’s sitting with Casey, Matt, and the kids towards the back of the crowd - daddy dare care while the moms are busy in the bridal party. You catch sight of Mat’s dark head immediately and your heartbeat kicks a little when you spot Talia’s matching dark hair over his shoulder. She’s standing on his thighs, her hands in his for balance, and when she sees you walking down the aisle, she shouts and waves at you, nearly losing her balance and tipping off of Mat’s lap. Casey’s hands shoot out and steady her before she can really go anywhere and you exhale in relief.

You wave at her behind your bouquet, an easy smile on your face.

The ceremony is a blur, your focus on Mat and Talia in the back. Towards the end, he has to slip out quickly with the diaper bag on his shoulder, but he’s back a few minutes later, shooting you a quick thumbs up.

By the time you get inside after photographs, cocktail hour is winding down. You, Syd, and Kristy find your little group immediately - Jack, Reese, and Winnie in a little dance circle in the corner even though there’s no real music playing. Alice, Cole, and Talia are looking rough, interrupted naps and a long day getting the best of the younger crowd.

“Hi!” You call out, setting your bouquet on the table the guys have commandeered, reaching out immediately for Talia. Mat offers her up easily and she clings to you like a little koala. “Missed you, baby,” you murmur, kissing the top of her head.

She’s got a handful of squished French fries, which you didn’t realize until her fingers loosen and a couple of them fall down the top of your dress.

“Ah,” you wince when the cold potato touches your skin. Mat snorts at the look on your face and stands up with a napkin to wipe off Talia’s hands.

“Am I allowed to stick my hands down your top to clean you up or is that public indecency?” He asks with a cheeky smile. There’s a smudge of red on his jaw - ketchup, most likely, and you smirk a little, amused that neither Matt nor Casey felt like telling him about it.

Before you can answer, all four of your friends chime in together, “public indecency,” earning an eye roll from Mat.

He ignores them and blocks your body with his so no one can see his hand disappear into your bra. He fishes out the fries and tweaks your nipple on the way out. You turn a gasp into a cough and glare at him. His answering smile is all faux-innocence.

“Now that you two are done being gross,” Matt rolls his eyes, even though he’s smiling, “are you ready to head in?”

The group is ushered into the main reception hall, floor to ceiling windows giving a gorgeous view of the water and the sun as it dips towards the horizon. The kids run off, pointed towards their table by Syd, and the adults head to the table right next to it, the toddler group accompanying. Talia slumps on your lap, looking like she’s fading a bit, until Mat pulls a piece of his roll off and hands it to her.

She beams at him and you make an attempt to get her to say ‘thank you’ that mostly ends up being gibberish unless she’s saying ‘Dada.’

“Feeling better?” Mat asks quietly, angled in your direction. You reach out to swipe your thumb over his jaw, cleaning off the ketchup, and he frowns down at your hand before huffing a laugh when he sees the condiment smudge.

You nod. “I’m good,” you reassure him with the truth. “I think I just really needed to see T this morning.”

His hand is warm on your knee and he nods, satisfied after he studies your face.

The bride and groom make their entrance, doing away with the entrances for the bridal party except for the maid of honor and the best man, and when it’s time for the couples to join them on the dance floor for the first dance, Mat takes Talia in his arms and after the distribution of kids to adults has happened, you’re dancing with Jack. He looks adorable in his little suit, seriously trying to spin you when he sees Casey twirl Reese.

“Jack, you’re the best dance partner I’ve ever had,” you laugh, helping him out by squatting and twirling under his arm.

He grins at you, showing off a smile of half baby teeth and half-grown in adult teeth. “Make sure you tell Uncle Mat,” he says. “Cause he said he could beat me in a dance contest, but I don’t think he can.”

“I’ll pass along the message,” you grin back. The music speeds up and you start swinging Jack’s arms in wide arcs, making him laugh. You push him out and pull him back in, wrapping him in a hug and tickling his sides. He breaks away and transitions into a few fairly impressive dance moves, including the Robot, which you’d love to know where he learned.

Mat dances over to you, Talia happy in his arms and wiggling along to the music. You take her and shimmy, making her laugh.

“Sick moves, Jacky,” Mat grins, ruffling his blond hair.

“Aunt Squeaks said they’re better than yours,” the seven-year-old shoots back, making an attempt to moonwalk away.

You burst out laughing and Mat turns a betrayed look on you. “Seriously?” He asks. “My moves are amazing!”

“Oh, look,” you smile, turning your head, “dinner’s being served!” It’s not, but it works to make Mat laugh and grab your hand to spin you and Talia in a circle.

Dinner is served a few minutes later and you and Mat trade off on who gets to hold Talia on their lap so the other can eat. Mat ends up with her for a good chunk of the meal, talking over her head and opening his mouth when she tries to reach up and shove a roasted potato past his teeth.

“Hey, cool it, girl,” you laugh, tugging at her hand when she misses his mouth and nearly shoves the potato up his nose. “Daddy doesn’t want to breathe in potato.”

Casey and Matt share a laugh before Matt chimes in, “his nostrils are big enough he’ll be able to breathe around the potato.”

Mat flips them off behind Talia’s back and you join in with their laughter, not even pretending to hide it when Mat turns a betrayed look on you. “My own wife,” he cries dramatically. ���No loyalty even in my own home.”

You shrug and feed Talia a piece of your filet mignon. “I can’t fight the truth, baby,” you tease, leaning out of the way when Mat reaches for you to pinch your side.

The dance floor picks up again and you find yourself spinning with Mat’s arms around you, Talia taken by Syd to dance with her and Alice.

“She’s a little party animal,” you laugh, watching her wiggle while holding hands with Alice.

“Gets it from her mom and aunts,” Mat teases, hands low on your back, pulling you flush against his body. You can feel the gentle press of his cock against your hip, semi-hard behind his zipper. “She’s going to be a handful when she’s older, isn’t she?”

You nod. “Oh yeah, I think we’re going to have fun watching her grow up,” you murmur, emotion tightening your throat.

Casey and Matt swing Reese and Winnie in the air, Kristy shimmying with Jack. The little group is all laughter and smiles.

“I’m so glad we were able to do this,” you say after a few seconds. “The mini-vacation, the wedding. I know I freaked out this morning, but it’s nice to be around everyone.”

“Good,” Mat presses a soft kiss to your temple, swaying with you. “I was a little worried, not gonna lie.”

A little knot of guilt tangles in your stomach and you frown into his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” you whisper into the fabric of his shirt. “I know this past year has been…” you trail off, too many adjectives applicable to describe the past year.

Mat laughs faintly, “I know. You don’t have to apologize, I’m just glad we’re pretty much back to normal.”

Over Mat’s shoulder, you watch Jack spin Talia in a circle to make her laugh. She laughs so hard she nearly falls over and your heart skips a beat when it seems like she might hit the ground. Matt catches her back and holds her until she regains her balance, still giggling.

“My mom mentioned coming down for a visit,” Mat continues. “Maybe we can take her up on that, let her babysit and go away for the night, just the two of us?”

There’s something in Mat’s tone, a little cajoling, a little frustrated, a lot hopeful.

You haven’t been away with just Mat since before Talia was born, haven’t even spent more than a handful of hours away from her before this morning, but still, you find yourself nodding. “That sounds nice,” you reply, meaning it.

Mat’s fingers squeeze your hips and you pull back to see his smile, grinning back at him.

It’s not the old normal, but the new normal is pretty nice too.

The night winds down and you leave the reception early, Mat’s jacket draped over your shoulders and Talia passed out in Mat’s arms. You help lead the older kids out to the cars, making sure Reese doesn’t trip over her feet. Everyone gets buckled into their appropriate car seats for the drive back to the Martins’ and you find your eyes closing while Mat drives.

His hand is warm in yours and the radio is playing quietly.

“You look beautiful,” Mat says into the silence.

You crack a small smile and open one eye to look at him. “You said that earlier,” you remind him.

“I wanted to say it again,” he turns to you at the red light and flashes a grin, making your stomach flip with butterflies.

“Well,” you squeeze his hand, “I like hearing it.”

Talia wakes up when you try taking her out of the car, whining and crying for you. Her little hands reach out and you take her from Mat, cuddling her close and stroking her dark curls, hoping she’ll fall back asleep. She’s overtired though and doesn’t settle until all three of you are in bed, her cheek pillowed on your chest and her hands fisted in your shirt.

“Shh,” you hum, quietly starting to tell her a story. She whines and wiggles and Mat drapes his hand over her back too, a warm, heavy weight that’s worked to soothe her since she was born. He tickles her back lightly and scoots closer to you, head propped up on his hand. Talia’s cocooned in between your bodies, her knees tucked up to her chest, and she slowly falls back asleep, her face going slack. Her grip on her stuffed cat loosens, even though the plush toy is wedged under her chin for comfort.

“Sometimes,” you whisper to Mat, looking at him over Talia’s body, “I can’t get over how perfect she is.”

He yawns and nods, dragging the light comforter higher up over you and Talia. “We’re pretty damn lucky,” he agrees. He closes his eyes and curls his body in a c-shape around you and Talia, breathing evening out before long.

You’re tired, but you stay up for a little bit longer, watching your husband and daughter sleep. Your fingers trace the curve of Talia’s nose lightly and she wrinkles it, snuggling closer to you in her sleep. Mat snores softly, his breaths ruffling the back of Talia’s hair.

It makes you emotional, to have your entire heart curled up next to you like this.

With a faint smile on your face, you close your eyes and drift off.

Mat lets you sleep in the next morning and you wake up around eight, with a still hot mug of coffee on the night table and a few rocks and shells next to the mug - Mat must’ve taken Talia out to the beach early. You take your time getting ready, pulling on jean shorts and a tank top over your bathing suit before padding downstairs. Being back in your regular clothes makes you feel more normal than the shapewear and bridesmaid dress from last night. You can ignore the extra few pounds and new shape to your body when you’re just in shorts.

There are pastries on the counter, crumbs and dirty plates indicating that you’re not the first person to wander down for breakfast. You pull off a piece of an almond croissant and pop it into your mouth as you head outside. As soon as you open the back door, you’re treated to the childish laughter and splashing noises from the pool.

“Morning!” Syd calls, waving from a lounge chair. “Come join us.”

Kristy beams at you from the next chair and then almost immediately frowns when Jack cannonballs into the pool, sending a huge splash of water into the air. “Jack! I thought I said no splashing!” She calls as soon as his head pops back above the water.

“But Tal and Cole laugh when I do it,” he argues, pointing at the two youngest, who, sure enough, are cracking up in Mat and Casey’s arms. Mat winks at you and you smile, waving as you take a seat at the edge of the third lounge chair.

“Talia and Cole also laughed when Dad dropped the egg carton, but we’re not going to keep doing that,” Kristy shakes her head.

Jack pouts, but to his credit, stops doing cannonballs and instead commandeers a dragon shaped pool float with Winnie and Reese hanging off the wings, shrieking.

It’s loud and chaotic and it’s perfect.

Mat swims over to the edge, Talia holding onto his hands while she kicks. “Good sleep?” He asks, splashing a little water onto your feet.

“Mhm,” you hum, “thanks for letting me sleep in.”

“Anytime,” he leans back, dragging Talia through the water. “T and I took a nice walk on the beach, chatted about all the birds we saw, picked up lots of treasures for Mommy.”

“Bird!” Talia pipes up, loudly and happily, looking around.

Mat grins at you, inclining his head as if to say ‘see?’

You smile back, giggling a bit, and then Mat kicks off the wall, swimming around and making boat noises while he navigates Talia through the water and around the obstacles of Matt, Casey, and the other kids.

“I love summer dad camp,” Syd sighs, stretching out in her chair. “It’s a nice little break.”

It’s definitely nice to have this summer experience as opposed to last summer’s insanity. You can finally enjoy watching Mat with Talia in the warm weather.

He tosses her a little into the air, catching her before she hits the water, and despite the way your heart lurches, you smile at the sound of her shrieked laughter mixing with Mat’s.

They swim past Matt and Alice reaches for Talia for a high-five, one of Talia’s favorite tricks. She looks startled when her hand keeps going and splashes down into the water, sending droplets flying onto her and Mat’s faces. Your husband laughs and wipes the water from Talia’s face before blowing raspberries against her cheeks.

It’s the cutest fucking thing you’ve ever seen.

You surprise yourself, thinking about a second baby held in Mat’s arms. Neither of you have really talked about it that seriously and you’ve been sort of holding your breath, waiting for your brain and body to feel normal enough to do it all over again. But now, maybe it’s time to really start thinking and talking about a second baby. You do a little quick math in your head, if you get pregnant right away, easy like it was with Talia when you weren’t even trying, Talia would be just around two when a second baby would be born. That’s a nice age difference, even three years like Mat and Liana would be good too.

You chew at your lower lip, watching Mat and Talia. Smiling when she smushes his cheeks in her hands and bonks her forehead against his.

Yeah, a second mini-Mat wouldn’t be so bad.

[konigsblog]

i saw another person say sugar daddy and now i can’t get it off of my mind. tbh, any of the guys could be sugar daddies, i see it.

and they’re older than you, you’re just a young thing not confident in your own skin. they purposely buy you things that are very risqué, things that you wouldn’t wear otherwise. i’m talking corset tops, dresses, lingerie maybe???

and when you try to say no, they’re all like “you don’t wanna wear what daddy got you? i spent all this money on it” and then you have to keep it and wear it bc you don’t want to upset them.

then they fuck you in whatever you chose to wear and if they accidentally rip it, they just promise to buy you another one.

having mad thots at work about this 😮‍💨

this with price and simon. to be simon's sugarbaby just makes me so... grrrr :((( i know simon would be all teasing with his sugarbaby, grinding all up against your tight ass when you're bent over in some expensive sleepwear he bought you; skimpy and revealing, tiny shorts barely covering your ass. he gropes you whenever, kissing your neck whilst you look in the mirror, admiring the lingerie he bought you!!

always makes you feel slightly guilty for declining it, apologizing and accepting it back just to see his stupid grin, all cruel as he runs his fingertips down your back, making you shudder as he rubs your clothed pussy in circles to mess with your filthy mind!!! “y'love me don't you? 'course... look so pretty in this lingerie daddy bought you, huh? so gorgeous, love. wanna show me how thankful y'are? good.. c'mere... bend over f'me.”

sugardaddy!price adores your flustered face when he buys you that expensive necklace you'd been eyeing up!! only in return for a nice, sloppy blowjob, of course. your lips wrapped around it whilst he bobs your head up and down his shaft, encouraging you and cumming all over your pretty tits, covering your hardened nipples in seed as he praises you for taking his girthy, meaty size in your mouth so well!!! definitely pulls the panties from your lingerie to the side to suck at lap at your slick pussy, holding both your legs to the side as they tremble in his grasp, his tongue running down your slit before he spits a glob of spit onto it, covering you and making you squeal and whine with each stroke he makes using his wet tongue!!!

“good girl, c'mon.. taste so fuckin' good, dollface.. so pretty in this lingerie, yeah? that's my pretty baby, hm? god, you're soaked, sweethear'- coverin' it in your cum, needy girl.. should i slap this greedy cunt?- hah, fuck- already covering me in this sweet slick..”

[gabessquishytum]

No sex-ed Dream our beloved 😁 how about the reverse of that last ask? Dream was told as a child that only married couples have babies, and growing up somehow completely missed any evidence to refute that. Even when he later (barely) learns about sex, by the time he’s in college he pretty firmly thinks it’s sex + marriage = babies. He still wanted his first time to be special though, so he’s still a virgin until he starts sleeping with Hob.

When Dream starts having pregnancy symptoms, he simply assumes he caught a bad flu or something. At some point Hob hesitantly brings up the possibility of pregnancy, but Dream just rolls his eyes and says something like that’s impossible, or that he’s pretty sure he would’ve noticed if he was pregnant.

What he’s thinking is “It’s impossible obviously bc we’re not married, and I’m pretty sure I would’ve noticed if we had gotten married, very funny Hob (actually that sounds lovely, but we should probably wait until after graduation)”.

What Hob hears is either “that’s impossible” as in Dream can’t have kids (a bit of a disappointment, but there’s always adoption), or “I would’ve noticed” as in Dream has already checked and confirmed he’s not, maybe he already took a test and it came back negative or he’s on his period, so Hob lets it go, and the nausea quickly goes away anyway and they move on in blissful ignorance (btw if Dream is like me he’s really really bad at tracking his cycles, so he doesn’t even notice that he’s missed a couple months (I’m so bad, if I ever get pregnant missing my period is not how I’m gonna find out 😅)).

If possible for maximum comedy I’d try to keep Dream in denial up until the birth, but Hob will probably bring the subject back up a little more forcefully when Dream starts showing. At first it could be dismissed as a little weight gain (and that’s what Dream definitely thinks it is), but at a certain point it’s clear that that’s a baby bump, it’s literally a baby bump, Dream do you have something you’d like to share???

They finally sit down and clear everything up, then they can both have a little freak out as a treat, that Dream is pregnant, they’re gonna be dads, holy shit they are so behind they need to schedule all the appointments yesterday.

-🪽anon

My love for this au never ends!!!! And I do have a huge soft spot for a Dream who is very obviously pregnant and very much in denial about it. Maybe he insists that Hob has just been feeding him too well! And Hob is staring at the very round very obvious bump (which occasionally ripples as the baby begins to move around and throw punches). Admittedly he likes to keep Dream eating plenty of nutritious meals, but his lasagnes definitely didn't do THAT.

I think deep, deep down Dream knows that he's having a baby, but he's very scared and kind of hoping the whole situation will go away if he ignores it. He still doesn't know HOW he got into this mess. Did him and Hob get married with out realising it? Dream is so confused and anxious and he wants a nine month nap and a hug. Instead he gets a baby (and a boyfriend who loves him very much and is who is NOT going to put his dick inside Dream without a condom for a very, very long time).

Nevertheless, the expectant parents are very very excited!!!! Hob is telling everyone he knows that his boyfriend is pregnant!!!! He's got a lil miracle in his belly!!!! Hob’s gonna be a daddy for real!!!! And Dream pulls off the most beautiful, iconic, celebratory trans pregnancy to the point where the entire campus is invested, and bigots everywhere are drowning in ire and envy.

It's especially nice that their baby, aged around 18 months, gets to be the guest of honour when they do get married. Dream and Hob get a night off from parenting their little one and have a very raunchy consummation of their marriage in their hotel room........ where Dream suggests that now they're actually married, maybe it's time to try for another baby?

Hob takes great pleasure in chucking the condoms out into the corridor. Time to make a baby with his HUSBAND <3

[drpoisonoaky]

Azula is training with the rest of the group cause her therapist ask her to do it. And she’s a great patient

disclaimer: this is years later (at least they’re in their twenties) bc one azula is in therapy; two i’m not comfortable doing some dynamics with literally children even though is nothing explicit

——— Aang

Aang: So let’s start with breathing exercises.

Aang: This helps to have a clear mind.

Azula: I usually do it too.

Aang: Really? That’s so grea-

Azula: Doesn’t help at all. But hey we need to breath in order to bend.

Aang: Meditation?

Azula: See awful things.

Aang: Aromatherapy?

Azula: The smell is awful.

Aang: What did you do then to have a clear mind?

Azula: You’re so funny avatar.

Aang: *looking at her worried*

Azula: So funny. So what’s next?

Aang: Call your therapist.

——— Sokka

Sokka: So first thing first you get a boomerang.

Azula: I would rather not.

Sokka: I hit you with a boomerang before, you have to learn how to use it. At least as signal of respect.

Azula: Just cause something hit you doesn’t mean you have to respect it or like it.

Azula: My father used to hit me and I don’t really respect or like him at all.

Sokka:

Sokka: I gonna hug you and then we’ll spare bare handed. Come here.

Azula: DON’T YOU DA-

——— Toph

Toph: *hit Azula with a rock*

Azula: *throws a blaze of blue fire to Toph*

[Keep doing this until both are clearly exhausted and dirty]

Toph: That was fun.

Azula: Indeed.

Toph: Let’s do it again sometime.

Azula: Sure.

——— Suki

Suki: You have to wear the kyoshi warriors’ makeup.

Azula: We’re training not on a mission.

Suki: I’m wearing it.

Azula: And I admire your bravery for wear that but no thank you.

Suki: To train with me you have to wear it, end of the discussion.

Azula: The last time I wear that filthy makeup I conquered Ba Sing Se.

Suki, raising one eyebrow: The last time I wear this filthy makeup I was trying to train with an ungrateful bitch.

Suki: So?

Azula: Ugh, but if I get a pimple I swear-

——— Zuko

Zuko: No dirty tricks.

Azula: You wound me Zuzu. I would never do something like that to you.

Zuko: You bend lighting at my butt to make me fail in front of dad. So sorry if I don’t trust you.

Azula: *sighs*

Azula: You were already failing, doing that father would laugh at the prank and not punish you for not knowing the forms.

Zuko: I-

Azula: And I admit it was fun. But that’s the truth. And my therapist says I should share my truth of that little moments, especially with you.

Zuko: I didn’t know…are you going to do it again?

Azula: Nah, now you won’t be punished if you mess it up. I’m going to do it while you are eating or something. Like a good sister.

Zuko: We are pretty fuck up, aren’t we?

Azula: At least we’re pretty.

Zuko: *smiling*

Azula: Wait no.

Zuko: Lala did you say we?

Azula, completely red: “I” I said “I” CLEAN YOUR DIRTY EARS!

——— Ty lee

Azula: You don’t going to force me to use the Kyoshi makeup, right?

Ty lee: Nope, that’s Suki’s policy I don’t really care.

Azula: Thank Agni.

Ty lee: I’m going to make you flex baby.

Azula: As if you didn’t know I’m very flexible.

Ty lee: Well we will see. Let’s stretch.

Azula: Do you usually use this as a first move or the flirt start after?

Ty lee: Nah, after. You will see it when we get to the-

Katara: DROP IT RIGHT NOW BOTH OF YOU.

Ty lee: Whao you were right she’s jealous type.

Katara: I am not!

Azula: Then why are you here?

Katara: To train with you, Ty lee’s training looks what I need right now.

Ty lee: Sure. It’s gonna to be awesome. But I’m going to focus on Azula. She asked me first.

Azula: She’s focused on my, sweetheart.

Katara: AND I’M TOO SO WATCH OUT.

Ty lee, whispering: And I don’t even try to make a move.

Azula, also whispering: And she knows I wouldn’t do anything. This is going to be fun.

Katara: STOP WHISPERING I’M HERE.

Azula, ignoring Katara: So what’s next?

——— Mai

Azula: So you throw knives and that’s all?

Mai: What do you want me to do?

Azula: I guess exactly that.

Mai: Maybe we could spicy up?

Azula, raising one eyebrow: I’m listening.

Mai: We need a target.

Azula: Living creature?

Mai: Why not.

Azula: Male or female.

Mai: Whatever.

Azula: Easy or hard?

Mai: Who’s on the hard level?

Azula: Ty lee or Aang.

Mai: And on the easy?

Azula: Sokka or Zuko.

Mai: I guess it’s Sokka’s turn.

Azula: Sure.

Azula: Hey Boomerang boy! If you stay in front of Mai with an apple on your head for 20 minutes lunch is on me.

Sokka: Steak?

Azula: Two steaks.

Sokka: But the good ones.

Azula: Of course.

Sokka: Deal.

Mai: Let’s have fun. Do you want to start?

Azula: I’m going to throw him a boomerang. So you first.

——— Katara

Katara: So listen.

Azula: I’m listening.

Katara: I want to see your hands clearly, not funny business.

Azula: But I am a funny person. And you love my funny business.

Katara: ‘Zula.

Azula: Ok. I’m focus.

Katara: I’m gonna to attack and you going to doge.

Azula: No warm up?

Katara: *throws her a warning splash of water*

Katara: There you go.

Azula: That wasn’t necessary darling.

Katara: No pet names, we’re training.

Azula: Of course. Master Katara.

[two hours later]

Katara: That was good.

Azula: I’m wet and partly freeze. All in a bad way.

Katara: As I said. Good. But you know the better part?

Azula: What?

Katara: I don’t want to see your hands now.

Azula: Why do you don’t…my hands…oh.

Azula: Yeah yes let’s do that.

Katara: You’re a less smooth than you think you’re.

Azula: But I’m hot.

Katara: And very humble.

Azula: Whatever…let’s the funny business begin.

[teshadraws]

System of a bunch of different pokémon (mostly) that literally (accidentally) writes pmd fic with a plural protagonist here. Plurality in the pokémon world is actually pretty interesting to think about. It's pretty common in that world for pokémon to be plural already, so it *might* be more understandable of a thing for most people.

That being said, if I got pmded into a spiritbomb bc I had DID I'd fucking lose it. I actually appreciate your answer as is. It's also plenty respectful imo if that's anything you're worried about.

I and my headmates (you can immediately tell I'm a host because I bitch out of saying "we") vary in species. Most likely it'd just be whoever was fronting at the time of the test would decide, so most likely the host. Maybe other systems that have any positive connection to their humanity would feel different, but I at least don't think there'd really be a pokémon that fit everyone. Trying that would absolutely do more harm than good. If mew/whoever had to figure something like that out it'd be really funny to like put it to a vote.

That being said if mew tried to split a system, that system would be so fucked. This is hard to explain but basically imagine you got transported into a new world but you left behind your ability to get out of bed in the morning and brush your teeth. How the system basically interacts with the world would be completely fractured and incomplete. Maybe others would feel different, but if I didn't have my headmates I wouldn't be able to manage anything about basic day to day life.

The one human body is already its own compromise, so any pokémon that made a number of headmates happy would be a huge step up. In a perfect world the system would be able to change their pokémon based on who's fronting, but I'm not sure if that'd feel like a genuine exploration of the compromise made living like this. It'd make good escapism, but idk. There are probably good stories to be had either way.

I forgot to have a point when I started writing it so I'm basically just rambling at you about the pmd implications of my child abuse disorder so. Do with that what you will

Mew making everybody vote for which body they’re going to be stuck in is kind of an amazing mental image, haha!

But thanks so much for weighing in on this!!! It’s super interesting hearing experienced thoughts on how a system might transfer over to the Pokemon world. I wonder if a Pokemon like zorua or ditto that could morph depending on who’s fronting would fit well for a good chunk of DID situations?

Regardless, I really appreciate it! I wasn’t thinking before about how badly splitting up a system would mess up their day-to-day functioning, but that makes total sense.

[bp-zb1fics]

hi! i love how you write bp trainee!reader fics and i was like ‘omg imagine jay x g group trainee!reader’ so i came here to request something. i wanted to request jay chang confessing to g group!reader during the boys planet finale, or something a long the lines of that. i wanted to see your take on how he would confess to someone, you can always switch up the plot or even ignore this ask if you don’t want to write it! <3

If this was a movie

pairing: jay x g group reader

genre: canon, fluff

tw/tags: lots of pining, confessions, a kiss or two, some swears, jay kinda dramatic and very in denial, kamden, matthew, ricky best wingmen, a lil hui vs jay action but not really 

wc: 1731

summary: it’s the sleepover night before the finale and jay has something to tell you.

a/n Hi! First of all thank you so much for this lovely request, it was an utter pleasure to write and I really enjoyed it and I hope you will too! I'm always a sucker for canon fics because it's so fun to take the show we all know and love and hate sometimes bc mnet kinda shady and write about it. I've lifted lines directly from the sleepover segment from episode 12, just be citing my sources. I definitely would have included reader/ mc/ y/n's pov but ended up keeping it to jay's pov for some reason, idk maybe it's like writer brain. If anyone wants a "your pov" version, do let me know~ that would be a fun part 2

Check my pinned for more fics~

Italics mean it’s spoken in English.

Jay tips his head back and exaggerates his cringe, laughing along with everyone at Gunwook stealing Junhyeon’s aegyo. Only he can’t help but let his eyes linger back to you giggling quietly from where you’re leaning against Hoetaek, the elder playing with your hair. 

And even if he knows that Hoetaek is a little more familiar with the former Cube trainees like you and Matthew and Sung Hanbin, he can’t help but feel the smallest twinge of jealousy. He wanted to be close to you like that, to mess with your hair until you pout at him and he can’t help but-

“By all means, keep staring, we might as well get a neon sign that says I LIKE YOU and put it on your head.”

Kamden mumbles from beside him, effectively snapping him out of his maladaptive daydreaming. 

“Oh my god dude, shut up.”

He hisses, still keeping one eye on you as you lean into Hoetaek’s touch. Think positive, Jay. Even if you're also a fellow English speaker, at least you’re far away enough that you probably won’t overhear them. Ricky snickers from his other side.

“You’re so subtle, man.”

He levels them a look. It’s their last night, can’t he get a break?

“It’s our last night Jay, you know, you should tell them.”

Apparently not. 

He looks up and Kamden manages to look even more unimpressed than he usually does, head tilting a little more than 45° for emphasis.

“Nah, it’s cool, besides, they’re definitely not into me.”

Jay deflects, ignoring the sinking feeling that begins to take hold. 

“You don’t know that.”

“I’m pretty sure I do.”

“Just try.”

“You’re being very persistent today, Kam, I dunno, it’s kinda sus.”

Before Kamden can fire back, the whole conversation about memorable first impressions turns around and bites Jay in the ass because the universe loves messing with him.

“So who was your best first impression, Jay-ah?” 

Suddenly everyone’s looking at him expectantly. Kamden and Ricky look like they already know and Jay knows that they know that the answer sitting at the tip of his tongue is just across the room, Hoetaek’s arm around their shoulder. Still, Jay hesitates.

He’s had a crush on you ever since the Star Level test. You had immediately caught his attention walking in. Sure, there were perfect visuals like Jiwoong and Hanbin but you were the most attractive person he’s ever seen. And you were talented, Jay could swear your performance was one of the best but Kamden’s convinced that he’s just biased.

But even though you’re both from G-group, you’ve always ended up in different teams, leaving Jay with not that many opportunities to talk with you. When he does end up around you, he just can’t, defaulting to his usual over the top expressions for laughs. While he’s always thought of himself as a confident person, he just finds himself fumbling around you. It doesn’t help that you seem to stick to Hoetaek or Sung Hanbin or one of your team members. You’re friendly with each other, sure, but nothing more than that. 

Right, back to the question.

“The person I remember the most is Yujin.”

He immediately feels the collective disappointment that emanates from his corner of the room as the rest of the trainees react, Matthew even sitting up to hit him with some bombastic side-eye. He pretends he doesn’t hear Kamden sighs, doing an impression of Yujin which looks more like a possession honestly. The others laugh. Jongwoo’s comment is the crutch he needs to limp away as he holds Yujin in check as competition.

Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy.

“For me, as soon as I heard Jay sing, I felt like I was in trouble.” 

Hoetaek speaks up and Jay forces himself into another exaggerated look of surprise and shoves down the ugly feeling that jumps out at the way you hug one of Hoetaek’s arms. 

“Your competitor?” One of them jokes.

Not just in singing, Jay thinks.

“But you did watch Love Me Right, hyung?” Jongwoo asks. Jay really wants this conversation to move on.

“It was so hard to watch Love Me Right.” He watches as Hoetaek shifts so that you can lean more comfortably.

“That’s not the only thing that’s hard to watch right now.” Ricky breathes out. Now Kamden and Matthew are snickering.

Just smile, Jay. 

“Honestly, I wanted to give up when I saw you, hyung.” He manages to grit out without giving himself away, hopefully. 

Everyone laughs and Jay desperately sends a prayer to the universe to let his pain end. Ironically, it’s Kamden and Matthew who come to his rescue.

“Actually, I’m curious about something. Did I give off an American vibe?”

The conversation swerves towards Matthew’s imitation of Kamden, the apparently routine mispronunciation of Jiwoong’s name and Kamden’s impressive first impression of Ricky’s hair.

By the time they move on to Keita’s first meeting with Zhang Hao, Jay thinks he’s in the clear.

He's not.

Kamden proceeds to smack his arm and he meets eyes with Matthew whose usual bright smile was beginning to border on shit-eating grin territory.

“If you didn’t notice, they’ve been looking at you the whole time we were talking.” Kamden says lowly, Matthew nodding in agreement.

“Nah, you’re capping.”

“No, for real, Kam and I were literally right here giving some top-tier content and all they could see was you.” Matthew insisted.

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“It definitely means something.” Ricky counters because he was apparently listening in on them the whole time while everyone else watched Jiwoong wax poetry over Hao’s violin playing. Jay shakes his head.

“It really doesn’t.”

Kamden looks like he wants to jump on him and start shaking some sense in. Matthew sighs. Ricky just shrugs and lies back down.

“Ah well, we’ll have to see then. I didn’t let Kam slander my hair and my catchphrase for nothing.”

After having to spectate the absolute trainwreck of awkwardness that is Zhang Hao and Kum Junhyeon, there’s the slightest chill that goes down Jay’s spine that he ignores, figuring it must be the weather.

It was definitely not the weather. He should have run while he still had a chance.

“Actually, there’s another pair I want to see.” Matthew speaks up. Suddenly he feels Kamden and Ricky both watching him like hawks as if he’s going to bolt any second now.

After Matthew names you and him, Jay actually wants to bolt. Kamden and Ricky are extremely helpful in explaining to the others the minimal interactions you two have had as the “least close trainees in G-group.” You look like a deer in headlights as Hoetaek gently shoves you towards the middle of the room, whispering something to you before he goes back to his spot. 

“Wah they’re both so red.” Jay becomes acutely aware of how much his cheeks are burning as he sits across you. You don’t seem to be any better, making eye contact before looking literally anywhere else.

Well, might as well get over it so he can go back and die of embarrassment.

“Uh, the first time I saw you was during the Star Level test. I thought you were very talented.”

Damn, when did Korean become so hard? Maybe it was the way your hands were holding his, can you feel how fast his pulse is racing? Okay Jay, you can do this, just speedrun it.

“And I really liked the song you performed, it really fit your voice. Your stage outfit was also very pr- very noticeable, it made you stand out. And I really wanted to get to know you more but we were in different groups all the time which really sucked and you don’t know how many times I wished you chose Home so we could perform together or the Star Creators would put us both in Over me and I understand, you’re really perfect for the concepts of your songs and it’s crazy how much I like you, seriously so crazy.”

Pin-drop silence. Three things, in order, that Jay realises.

Speedrunning this might not have been the best idea.

Switching to English midway through the conversation is a skill that he didn’t know he was capable of considering his level of Korean would definitely be more byelingual than actual, intelligent multilingual like Matthew.

He might have confessed his feelings to you. No actually, he did. Fuck, now would be a great time to get on the next plane and fly off to the States and cry to Beomhan for a month. Forget debuting, he’d settle for a nice normal life without the evil editing and the screen time robbing and the utter stress of eliminations.

But before Jay can actually bolt, you speak up.

“Uh- uhm…” You look so unsure that it freezes him there, seated in front of you, holding your hands like it’s his last lifeline.

“I really like you too.”

Everyone gasps and begins murmuring quietly.

“Wait, my English is bad, what are they saying?”

“Finally, they’ve confessed, I knew it.”

“Wait who confessed?”

“That was like an American romance movie, wow.”

Then the clapping starts. Jay tears his eyes away from you for one second to look at Kamden in utter disbelief. His co-conspirators don’t miss a beat.

“Congratulations, you finally did it! Thank fuck.”

“Be happy together, you two!”

And because Ricky apparently wasn’t satisfied with the slander he had put himself through.

“Now kiss.”

Which turned into a chant because even the trainees who didn’t speak English fluently knew what they were talking about. Someone even helpfully throws a blanket over Yujin to protect his eyes.

Jay turns back and finds you giggling. While it looks like embarrassment, now he could feel the way your fingers interlocked with his, your eyes flitting to his lips. The chanting becomes background noise as he leans in, pressing his lips against yours firmly.

Fireworks explode in the background as you pull away.

Everyone applauds with the occasional whistling, oohing as Jay tugs you to sit between his legs, Ricky graciously scooting over to make space.

Kamden claps him on the back and Matthew flashes both of you a thumbs up.

God, he loves hates these guys.

As the conversation settles back down and everyone decides to actually sleep, you sneak another kiss before cuddling up to his side.

Jay smiles. Maybe this is a movie.

[allmoshnobrain]

Hi love!! Since requests are open, can I request Cronos trying to out-drink the reader but she manages to out-drink him and he’s super impressed? Thank you!

🌻🌻

𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐝 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

cronos (venom) x fem!reader | word count: 2,6k | requests are open! send yours here

“Yeah?” he chuckled, seemingly unfazed by your annoyance. “Why don’t you prove it then, love?” Oh, you thought. He’s not the type who likes being challenged. Somehow, that information piqued your interest. You looked at him, your eyes meeting for a moment as the smile on his lips grew a bit more mischievous; was he playing with you?

✦ on this fic: cronos (venom) x fem!reader, language, drinking

✦ a/n: i've been DYING to write for cronos for a while and i'm glad i finally did! this was such a fun request and honestly i'm kind of in love with him on this one lol i may make this an au bc i already have a few ideas for future parts so requests and suggestions are appreciated. hope you guys like it! ❤

You had to admit; going back home from uni for your first holidays felt a bit weird. 

Not because anything had changed back home, but because you felt like a totally different person than you were just a few months ago, before you’d left. Plus, bringing your best mate Laura to meet your family had to be a bit unusual, right? But Laura’s parents were too busy traveling the world without her again, so you just had to do something. That’s just how you were.

Of course, being home meant one thing: dealing with your older twin brother, Philip. Which wasn’t all bad, except for that lovely old rivalry that made you compete over pretty much everything. You just hoped the days at home would be a nice mix of peace and fun. You needed a break, after all.

You should’ve known it wouldn’t be that simple.

“Hey, there!” your brother called out as you walked in, a half-empty beer bottle in hand. You could hear the TV blaring from the living room, probably a sports match. “Was starting to think you wouldn’t show up.”

“Yeah, our bus got delayed,” you said. “This is Laura, by the way,” you added, pointing to your friend, who gave your brother a shy smile. You frowned, noticing Philip seemed to be home alone. “So, where’s Mum and Dad?”

“Oh, they haven’t told you? They’re on a business trip, but they’ll be back by Monday,” Philip said casually, and you sighed. Well, they could’ve mentioned it, but Monday wasn’t that far off. It was Saturday morning, so you’d only have to wait two days to see your parents again. “They asked me to tell you to ring them as soon as you got home, though. I’ve got their hotel number.”

“Okay, will do. Just let me and Laura take our bags upstairs and change into something more comfy.”

“Oh, and…” Philip hesitated, and you looked at him, an eyebrow raised. You just knew when your brother talked like that, it meant trouble. “Uh, I’ve invited some of the boys over today for a small, like, party? If that’s alright.”

“Phil, what the hell? A party?” you exclaimed. “Have you told Mum and Dad?”

“Course not,” he snorted. “Come on, it’ll be fun. You and Laura can join in. I told them I’d have some hot birds over anyway.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you shoved him softly before heading for the stairs. “I’m not cleaning up any of your mates’ mess, you hear me?”

“Love you too,” he yelled as you walked upstairs. You rolled your eyes, and Laura giggled.

“What?” you asked, and she shrugged.

“You two are cute,” she smiled, and you huffed. “So, guess we’re having a party tonight, then?”

“Looks like we’ve got no choice,” you mumbled.

“Come on, it’s not like you don’t enjoy a good party yourself! It can’t be that bad, can it?” she tried to cheer you up. You sighed.

“Ugh, it’s just… I was expecting to get home, see Mum and Dad, maybe watch some chick flicks and eat some ice cream. Not to have loud music and drinks all night. I’m still knackered from our last pub crawl, alright?”

“Alright, grumpy,” Laura chuckled. “You should definitely grab something to eat. I know a hungry girl when I see one.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled. You knew Laura was right — you were knackered, but after a hot shower and some food, you’d probably get excited about the party later. Even though your brother’s friends were… chaotic, at best. Phil worked at a small music venue across town, so most of his friends were into the music scene in some way, which made for quite the interesting crowd.

The day flew by, and before you knew it, people started showing up at your place. You and Laura were finishing getting ready when you heard the familiar sound of distorted guitars coming from downstairs. You should’ve known a party with Phil’s friends would be a heavy metal one.

“What’s that racket?” Laura asked, looking shocked by your brother’s musical tastes, which made you chuckle.

“Heavy metal. Phil’s a fan, you know,” you said, focusing on finishing your eyeliner. You watched Laura’s reflection as she rummaged through her luggage. “Hope you like Iron Maiden.”

When you finally got downstairs, the house was already packed. You sighed, biting your lower lip softly as you searched for your older brother in the growing crowd. If he was going to throw a party on your first day back from uni, you hoped he at least had the sense to get you something to drink.

You found him in the kitchen, laughing loudly with two guys you’d never seen before. One was blonde, with a mustache and a cigarette in hand, while the other was this tall, dark-haired guy with massive arms, leaning against the wall. He looked up when you walked in, and your eyes met for a brief moment, but you ignored him, heading straight for your brother.

“Oi, fuckhead,” you called out, and Phil raised an eyebrow. “What kind of party has no booze?”

“Oh, so now you’re in a partying mood?” he grinned. “Course we got drinks. You think we’d have a party without any booze, especially with this lad?” He slapped the dark-haired guy’s shoulder, who chuckled, his eyes meeting yours for a moment again. “He’s the biggest drinker I know!”

“You’re joking, right?” Laura cut in, and Phil looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “You’re saying he’s the biggest drinker you know when your sister’s right here?”

“Laura!” you exclaimed, feeling your cheeks flush.

“What? You’re the biggest drinker I know, no contest. No one can compete with you at a party, girl.”

“Nice to know that,” Phil said, and you looked back at him, seeing a cheeky smile on his lips that made you huff and roll your eyes. “I wonder what Mum and Dad would think of that, eh?”

“You’re not telling them, unless you want me to spill about your little party,” you grumbled.

“Yeah, well, I’m not telling them because I don’t believe it,” he teased. “No way you’re a bigger drinker than Cronos.”

Cronos. That was a curious name, but you figured it had to be a stage name, right? No way someone would actually be called that. You bit your lower lip, frowning. With the way Phil was sucking up, you knew the guy had to be someone important, at least in the metal scene. Maybe he was a musician? He definitely looked the type.

“Come on, mate,” the dark-haired guy, Cronos, finally spoke, a small smile on his lips. You could tell he was loving the attention your brother was giving him, which only made you more annoyed. “No need to put your sis down because of me.”

“You don’t need to defend me,” you blurted out, and Cronos raised an eyebrow. “Phil’s just being his usual daft self,” you looked at your brother, who scoffed at you. “Besides, I’m probably a better drinker than you, anyway.”

“Yeah?” he chuckled, seemingly unfazed by your annoyance. “Why don’t you prove it then, love?”

Oh, you thought. He’s not the type who likes being challenged. Somehow, that information piqued your interest. You looked at him, your eyes meeting for a moment as the smile on his lips grew a bit more mischievous; was he playing with you? 

“Is this a dare?” you asked. 

“If you say so,” he said, his grin widening. 

“Oh, this is gonna be fun,” Laura giggled. “So, are we having a drinking contest or what?”

“Alright,” Phil grinned in that oh-boy-you’re-so-gonna-lose way that always wound you up when he dared you to do something. “I’ll get the glasses and the beer.”

You waited while Phil rummaged around the kitchen for some pint glasses and got everything sorted. You bit your lip, trying to stop the blush creeping onto your cheeks as you felt Cronos’ eyes on you. Maybe you shouldn’t have challenged him — you barely knew the man. But Phil’s endless ways of winding you up made it hard not to. Your annoyance often spilled over onto his loud friends, his loud music, his loud everything. You loved your brother, sure, but sometimes it felt like he still saw you as the shy little kid you used to be.

And you were ready to prove him wrong again.

“Right, here we go,” Phil said, plonking two pint glasses on the table, then cracking open a beer and pouring it into one of them. “How about we bet on who finishes these first? Winner gets, I don’t know, we’ll think about something.”

“Maybe the loser should have to do anything the winner wants,” Cronos suggested, that same cheeky grin on his face. The way he said it made your cheeks burn, and you rolled your eyes as Laura giggled.

“Mate, if you’re trying to pull my sister, you’ll need a better plan,” Phil laughed. “Good luck getting her to do anything after she loses to you.”

“Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?” you snapped, trying to ignore the heat in your cheeks. “Besides, I’m not losing.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Phil said, waving you off as he finished pouring the beers. “Well, here we go. Grab your glasses, everyone, this is gonna be fun!”

You grabbed your pint glass, feeling the cold against your palm. You knew being the fastest drinker didn’t really mean being the biggest drinker, but you weren’t about to lose to Phil and his stupid rivalry, his stupid parties, and his stupid friends. You wanted to win, to wipe that cheeky grin off his face — and Cronos’ face too. If he thought he could use you for a laugh, he had another thing coming. It was time to channel every bit of determination and experience you’d gained in the drinking department since starting uni and win this.

“Ready… Set… Go!” Phil yelled, and you quickly lifted the glass to your lips. You closed your eyes, trying to down as much beer as you could, as fast as you could. You could hear Laura cheering you on, and, as quickly as it had started, it was over. You slammed the empty glass down, trying to catch your breath as you wiped off some of the beer that had dribbled down your chin, a triumphant smile spreading across your face as you saw Cronos finishing his beer — a good ten seconds after you.

“Ha!” you shouted, looking at Phil. “Told you I’d win! Maybe next time don’t use your mates to try and beat me.”

“Oh, shut it,” Phil grumbled. “Never knew going to uni would turn you into a lush.”

“You’re such a sore loser,” you laughed.

“It’s alright, mate,” Cronos cut in, putting a hand on Phil’s shoulder. He looked at you, the cheeky grin now gone, replaced by an impressed look in his eyes. “Your sister’s cool, you know? Maybe you should be a bit nicer to her.”

You and Phil stared at him, surprised. You could see Phil was also a bit miffed that his friend was taking your side, but hey, you weren’t going to complain when Phil’s antics had been winding you up all day.

“Yeah, whatever,” Phil grumbled and stomped out of the kitchen. You rolled your eyes — he was probably off to sulk somewhere, and you weren’t about to chase after him. Sometimes it felt like you were the older one, not him.

You looked around the kitchen, trying to spot Laura and ask if she fancied going somewhere else — maybe to a pub. But then you realized she wasn’t in the kitchen anymore. Neither was the blonde guy you’d seen around with Phil and Cronos earlier.

Suddenly, it was just you and him.

“So,” Cronos said, and you quickly looked up at him, blushing when he stepped closer. “What do you want me to do?”

“W... What?” you stammered, and he chuckled.

“I said whoever lost should do whatever the winner wanted, didn’t I? You won.”

“I don’t want anything. It was just a stupid game,” you said, and he chuckled.

“You sure about that?” he asked, and you blushed as he took another step. He was tall, much taller than you, and the way he moved nearer made your heart race a bit faster. You’d found him annoying pretty much from the get-go, just like you always did with Phil’s friends, but now that he was closer you could notice the curve of his lips and the way his eyes sparkled with a playful, almost tender glint.

Maybe necking all that beer at once wasn’t the best idea, after all.

“You could tell me your name,” you said, more to break the silence than anything. He blinked, looking a bit confused, and you chuckled nervously. “I mean, is it really Cronos? That’s such a different name.”

“Oh. Oh, no, that’s a stage name,” he laughed. You could see the cheeky grin soften into something a bit more genuine for a moment — still playful, but more real. It made you curious again, wanting to know more about him. “I’m in a band, you know. My real name’s Conrad.”

“That’s a cool name, too,” you said, and he smiled.

“You sure you don’t want anything else?” he asked, his voice almost hopeful, making you blush. Well, you were on your own in the kitchen, weren’t you? For a moment, you wondered what might happen if you asked him to…

No. What the hell were you thinking?

“I’m good,” you mumbled, your cheeks burning.

“Alright then,” he said, and you let out a small sigh as he stepped back. “I’m heading back to the party to grab something stronger. Fancy coming with?”

“Yeah, sure. I need to track down Laura anyway,” you agreed, then paused before looking at him. “Um, it was nice meeting you.”

“Likewise,” he grinned. You felt your heart race when he placed a hand on the small of your back. “Shall we?”

You headed back into the living room, which was now packed. The place was definitely heaving. Cronos gave you a grin before joining his friends, and you scanned the room until you spotted Laura, sitting on the couch with a polite but bored smile while some long-haired guy chatted her up.

“Oh, my friend’s back!” she said when she spotted you. She stood up and linked her arm with yours. “Sorry, I’ve gotta run. Nice chat!” she added, and you bit back a laugh at the look of frustration on the guy’s face.

“You left the poor man hanging,” you said, and she giggled.

“Oh, he started going on and on about his favorite band as soon as I mentioned I didn’t know them,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Are all your brother’s friends like this?”

“Not all of them,” you replied, glancing up to see Cronos laughing loudly with his blonde friend. Laura’s eyes followed yours, and she grinned.

“So?” she asked, her voice full of expectation. “Did you two kiss or what?”

“Did we what? What are you talking about?” you asked, blushing, and she laughed. 

“Seriously, did you not see the way he was eyeing you up? That’s why I left you alone — thought he might’ve tried to kiss you or something.”

You blinked, shocked. It’s not like you hadn’t noticed his clear interest in you, but you thought maybe he was just curious. Curious like you were about him — you could tell he was an interesting guy. But you obviously didn’t expect him to be into you, even though the way he had looked at you while you were alone made your stomach flutter with unexpected butterflies. 

“Don’t be silly, Laura. Of course we didn’t kiss,” you muttered. 

But when he glanced over at you from across the room and your eyes met, you couldn’t help but maybe wish he had.

Wouldn’t be wrong to have just a taste, would it?

[theragethatisdesire]

Ideas!

Bff Eren #10

Because there’s gotta be more Eren/Jean discourse before Jean comes to terms with the fact that he’s not getting his ex back. Eren being a smug ass mother fcker about it, too.

OR

Roommate Jean (well, poly boyfriend Jean). “You look pretty like that” prompt.

Maybe reader is handcuffed to a chair or in a bed? She’s an absolute mess because she’s dying to be touched and neither of her boyfriends will indulge her. They’re not sure if they even want to considering how pretty she looks all desperate and restrained. They’ll stroke themselves so close to her mouth, let her think she’ll get a taste. She stains her neck in hopes of getting a lick but they stay ever so slightly out of reach. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I keep writing, I’m gonna end up sending a damn drabble to your ask box. 🤣

HIIIII kjt<333 omg.....this is like...such a difficult choice. honest to god i may pocket your first idea for something.....longer than a drabble ;) so i'm gonna go with the second one bc i am OBSESSED with poly erejean like genuinely. obsessed. might have a part 2 coming for them too solely bc i love them<3

throwing all nsfw under the cut like always

"Not too tight, is it, baby?" Jean tugs the ropes digging into your skin into what has to be the final knot after nearly twenty minutes of positioning, repositioning, and admittedly, a rope burn around your ankle.

"Mm-mmm," you try to assure him around the gag in your mouth, shaking your head no. Jean smiles, places a laughably chaste kiss on your forehead.

"Such a good girl for us, aren't you? He's going to love it."

The ropes were Jean's idea; ever since he'd joined your relationship with Eren, almost everything was Jean's idea, having come so far from the timid, reluctant lover you'd made of him a few months ago. These days, Jean's nearly bouncing out of bed in the morning with a new idea to bring to the bedroom, and neither you nor Eren have the wherewithal to complain about it.

Eren's had a rough few weeks at work, and over coffee this morning, Jean had talked you into a "surprise" for your mutual boyfriend. This surprise had involved a trip to a sex shop, a hardware store, and an hour-long Youtube tutorial on knot-tying, but you'd figured it out together, and it's paid off.

Jean's got your arms above your head, secured to either side of the headboard, and your legs spread wide enough to incite a slight ache in your hips, ankles tied to your thighs and putting your already-dripping cunt on display. A black lace gag is holding your voice back behind your teeth, and the collar Eren and Jean had surprised you with last weekend jingles around your neck when you wiggle experimentally, testing the bonds that Jean's wrapped you up in.

"Can't get out, can you?"

"Mm-mm," you affirm, tugging on the ropes at your wrists to prove your point. Jean grins again, wicked and dark.

"Eren's not the only one getting a surprise today," he muses, knocking around in the nightstand drawer on your side of his bed.

What he pulls out makes your eyes widen.

"I didn't tell you, but I left a little pocket riiight..." Jean trails off, working the vibrator under a little slip in the rope, "here."

He angles it perfectly against your clit, not yet turning it on, but watching your reaction lecherously. You're already running hot with your movements restrained, already starting to feel the hum of lust buzzing through your body.

Before Jean can make another move, you meet eyes meaningfully at the sound of the front door opening, Eren's voice calling out into the empty apartment.

"You guys home?"

"Be right back, don't move." Jean snickers at his own joke, leaving you there bare and unattended.

Unable to move, your other senses hone in on every little bit of stimulus around you. The muffled sounds of conversation between Eren and Jean outside; you can hear Eren's disgruntled grumble, Jean's soothing timbre, but not what they're saying. The annoying, understimulating nudge of the vibrator against your center. The texture of the lace gag against your tongue, the way it's making you drool ever so slightly. And then the door clicks open.

"Fuck..." Eren trails off, eyes going wide. If you look close enough, you can see the front of his pants already beginning to tent. You're not sure what to do, so on display; you can't smile through the gag, can't even move in greeting, really. Jean's turned you into their little fuckdoll in the most literal sense of the word. Jean smirks proudly.

"Isn't she so-"

"So pretty," Eren breathes out, rounding the bed to caress your cheek, brush a thumb over your nipple, "you look so pretty like this, baby."

Jean comes behind Eren, wrapping muscled arms around his waist, palming slightly at the erection forming behind Eren's zipper. "She's all yours, we both are. Whatever you want tonight."

"Whatever I want, huh?" Eren's eyes darken. He turns his head over his shoulder to Jean, catching the other man's mouth in a slow, languid kiss. Watching them pulls a whimper from you, muffled by the gag, but insistent.

Jean breaks the kiss to frown down at you, reach over and flick the vibrator on, ripping a tinny whine out of your throat.

"Behave yourself, you're supposed to be his little surprise, remember?"

Eren smirks down at you through hooded eyes, lets one lazy hand drag soothingly up Jean's neck, lets the other come down to tweak your nipple roughly. "Let her act up a little. Can't punish her if she's not being a brat, right?"

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Going back to the post about Muriel and finwe fighting to the death (but not really). Do you have more headcanon about how they would react when they meet once again. Also I personally feel like Muriel would drag indis by the hair for how she tried to take finwe away from her and how she treated feanor.

Also I was also wondering if you had any ideas on how Muriel and feanor would be once they meet each other. I feel like she would be proud and disappointed at the same fime. She would so probably love her grandchildren.

So, obligatory disclaimer: this is specifically about my au

Miriel would just show up out of the blue. No fanfare, no announcement, just one seconds she’s there. You know what? Maybe Miriel’s already swinging her blade at him.

And the moment Finwe notices her, notices that she’s here, in front of him, alive? It’s as if color returned to him.

These 2 haven’t seen each other in millenia, that is a lot of pent up emotions (and don’t get me wrong, they are angry at each other as well for what happened) and they just go at it. No explenation, no nothing. They’re going feral on each other. Maybe they’re also cursing each other out/flirting while their at it.

Everyone who did not know their dynamics is really concerned and baffled.

It’s not a short or small fight either. They’re going at it for hours, days even, and so mich crap gets destroyed in the process. Entire rooms have been layed to waste and they’re covered in blood by the end of it.

And then they fuck.

Luckily, no one’s around by the time it gets to that point.

But it’s really animalistic, feral, raw in a way the elves have forgotten.

In regards to Miriel and Indis:

Here’s the thing, their families had a bit of a lowkey fued going on since the lake (please see other posts i’ve made on this au) but this takes the cake. It does not help that indis is a bit of a bitch (and Miriel’s still lowkey highkey pissed at finwe’s enabling of her behavior)

Have you seen the mdzs donghua, specifically the scene where madam you humiliates and slaps the shit out of yoayoa? Yeah, miriel is dragging indis through the metaphorical and literal dirt. And indis is pissed too bc she did not want miriel to come back at all. Miriel doesn’t comment on finwe’s other kids though bc she’s not gonna torment the child for the sins of the parents.

It should be noted that Miriel herself has a good number of supporters as well that went more or less dormant when she died, but the moment she’s back up and running? Ho boy, her supporters are tearing through the throats of the indis supporters like starving dogs. (Not literally).

Here’s the thing about feanor and miriel’s reunion:

Miriel’s very aware that she wasn’t there to raise feanor and that she doesn’t really know how to mom as a result, so while she’s very eager to hug the crap out of her baby, she’s also pretty blunt in saying “hey, ngl, idk how to do this, so i’ll probably mess up a lot, and i’ll probably not be the mom you expect me to be (especially with the “Miriel was only a weaver propaganda shoved down everyone’s throats 😒”) but no matter what, know that i love you, and know that i will try my best to be the mom you always should have had.

I don’t feel like (this au) Miriel would actually be that disappointed. I mean she’s no angel either. But furthermore, she gets it. Does she approve of some of feanor’s erratic actions? No. But she’s intimately familiar with the drive and passion that caused it. In all honesty, she’s just sad it happened the way it did. She’s obviously very proud of her bby i mean look at him! LOOK AT HIM!

N e way, yeah Miriel loves her grandkids.

She’s actually staying with feanor right now to 1. Repair their relationship, and 2. She’s reading finwe the riot act, he needs to do some serious groveling before she gets back with him (even though they already fucked kissed)

Of course then there’s the drama of indis and her family, and Miriel lowkey gets it (i mean who would want to be kicked out of the life they’ve been living for millenia?) but also, indis poisened her when she was pregnant with feanor and she had to give her life’s essence to keep him alive to give birth to him, that and some other factors are what resulted in her death in the first place so….🖕.

Also Indis(who is ingwe’s sister in this au)’s dad is still lowkey obseessed with Miriel’s brother so she’s just NOT in the mood to sympathize with her.

And of course Miriel’s dad, who’s the only one with her bc he’s the only one who got killed and went to the halls (since none of miriel’s other family went with her on the great journey) (L), is absolutly delighting at the chance to “clean house” (aka: beat up his SIL, his mistress and said mistress’s family, as well as exterminated any and everyone in the way of his kid’s happiness.)

All in all, Miriel’s come back is simultaneously really bloody and also pretty straight forward.

(Also, Ingwe shows up half way through the brawl and is just cheering his aunt on)

[huntingrays]

man, i have an idea for a jason revival fic/valgrace fic that i rlly wanna do, but I already have like… 3 valgrace wips, one of them being a different revival fic. also i dont have much of a plan for the whole fic, just some small ideas.

basically, the premise is that due to the prophecies n shit being messed up in toa, peoples’s fates are messed up as well.

so, after toa, the fates are trying to fix the fates of those whose fates were messed up by the whole ordeal. one of them was jason. so, they bring him back (but don’t bother to tell him… or anyone else, really).

the only problem? the classic issue of bringing someone back. jason comes back wrong. instead of being normal human jason, he can shift into a wolf, and a big one at that (my personal headcanon is that he’s like torso/shoulder height on an average, fully grown adult. ye, a big boi). also, he comes back in wolf form, and can’t shift back. he’s vaguely aware of who he is, but not much beyond that. he’s also vaguely aware of the smells of people he knows and trusts (but not what they look like or specifically why they’re important to him… or that he should somehow inform them that he is jason grace, back from the dead and now a wolf).

so basically, leo is sent on some quest (mayhaps a solo quest? or he’s separated from his friends for a time) and during it, he ends up having to fight vicious beasts under the control of some monsters. they decide to start out with their most vicious, which is wolf jason. leo doesn’t want to fight an innocent creature so he thinks fast and he’s able to escape with both himself and the wolf. once they’re safe, he takes off the device controlling wolf jason, and the two end up becoming friends. jason doesn’t realize leo is his best friend, but he gets from his smell that leo is important to him and that he’d do anything to keep him safe, which is just what he decides to do. leo doesn’t know this wolf is jason (literally why would he?), but he does think the wolf reminds him a lot of jason (with blue eyes and a scar on his muzzle that reminds him of the scar on jason’s lip) so he decides to call him “jay” and keeps him around as a much needed companion.

that’s pretty much the bulk of what i wanted to write. didn’t have much else planned besides that… expect for a vague idea for how the reveal/shift back happens. basically, the idea i had was somehow, maybe towards the end of the quest, there’s a fight by a cliff. also, maybe others are there, for more people to bant with and added tension. in the fight, leo nearly gets knocked off and is hanging on by just a hand. wolf jason goes to save him, but he doesn’t have arms or hands or thumbs to grabs him with, so he just like, bites his arm and starts to drag him up that way. however, as he’s pulling him up, the ground crumbles under them and they both fall. and jason, he cares about and loves leo. he would do anything to keep him safe. so, just in time, he manages to shift back out of sheer desperation to save leo, and safely floats them to the ground. I’d imagine leo would be very shocked (his dead best friend is now alive and as the wolf he’d been traveling with but now he’s very alive). idk what happens after that… probably meeting with some very shocked friends, bc if they were there with people, those guys just saw leo and a wolf fall to their death but suddenly float back as leo with a somehow alive jason and no wolf.

idk the only other ideas i had were just shenanigans at camp with wolf shifter jason. i imagine he’s not that scary as a wolf, just like… a big, dumb dog. a big, dumb dog that only bites if you hurt leo. leo does really mind jason being all protective, he loves any form of positive attention. he just thrives off of it. jason would definitely weaponize his sad puppy dog eyes to get leo to take a break. maybe we can apply some werewolf rules and say he like has to be in wolf form during the full moon? and leo definitely messes with him, like pretending to throw a ball but actually not, which jason gives him the silent treatment for a day after. also, jason being clean in human form doesn’t transfer over to wolf form, so leo has to give him bathes. and wolf jason hates the bathes and is very vocal about it. leo also hates the bathes because jason is very stubborn and makes it much harder than it needs to be. he ends up getting more clean than jason by the end. idk, the idea of serious jason being a silly, dramatic, goofy wolf strikes joy. i also imagine that, when he sees leo lying down, if he’s in wolf form that he just goes over to him and lays his whole body down on leo’s, much to leo’s dismay. but leo allows it bc he spoils wolf jason. also no clue how valgrace get together… just that it happens at some point. also, idk i imagine that he loves human jason and wolf jason in different ways. human jason is his bf but wolf jason is just his silly lil guy.

[quillyfied]

Alright, this is mostly a reaction post to Helluva Boss s2e8: Full Moon, but since I’ve watched the episode three times now and have been thinking about it for the better part of the day…more cerebral than a true reaction, I guess. And not chronological, either; this is divided into two sections, Plot and Feels. Please accept this wild spilling of my guts on this, my first episode since I found the show in February. (Obviously spoilers for Full Moon, but also for Hazbin Hotel.)

First things first: for anyone who hated the CHERUB/DHORKS plot this episode specifically because it distracted from the Stolitz trainwreck, you’re valid, but also, this is QUIET UNDERSTATED HUGE BACKGROUND PLOT CALLING, something that’s been building since s1e3: Spring Broken AT LEAST, and it’s MASSIVELY IMPORTANT, OKAY. I am losing my mind over all the foreshadowing and implications here, folks. And that little interaction between Collin and the rest of CHERUB, where they’re trying to justify their actions and he goes “I don’t think that’s how that works.” GET IT BC ACCORDING TO HAZBIN HOTEL NOBODY KNOWS HOW ANYONE GETS INTO HEAVEN. GET IT. GET IT.

ANYWAY.

My ongoing “IMP and Stolas are in deep legal shit” theory, which I need to condense into one post or tag or something to point at bc there’s too much evidence stacked up now to just summarize what I mean, gets not just more fodder in the form of DHORKS giving CHERUB mech suits that LOOK LIKE IMP, but Stolas outright saying Blitzo can now go about his business WITHOUT BREAKING DEMON LAW. We know that there’s a trial of sorts near the end of the season (or I’m guessing it’s at the end; I thought the fight sequence here was going to be during Mastermind so I’m already wrong on that count), we know Stolas appears to be in some real trouble, and now knowing that Blitzo and IMP are operating on Earth under Ozzie’s jurisdiction, there’s now more at stake for their shenanigans to drag Ozzie into some actual legal shit, not just general classist asshattery for dating an imp. From what we can tell from the trailer it seems like post-crystal IMP is at least trying to go more incognito, though all we have to go on is snapshots from Ghostfuckers, but IMP’s general indiscretion is going to backfire very badly on them, on Stolas, and now maybe even on Ozzie, and I am RABID FOR IT OKAY. CONSEQUENCES?? IN MY SILLY DARK MURDER COMEDY??? UNEXPECTED BUT PLEASE DO EXPLORE THEM.

Also, the sheer horror of DHORKS having a PRIEST ARMY?? The fact that they sent some kids through the portal, that they got EVISCERATED by EYED TENTACLES, and they AREN’T EVEN SURE HELL IS WHERE THEY WOUND UP?? JUST POUR THE FERTILIZER ON MY “ROO EXISTS ON A BOTTOM LEVEL OF REALITY SOMEWHERE AND IS GROWING MORE POWERFUL (PROBABLY THANKS TO THE EXTERMINATIONS)” THEORY, IT’S GROWING LIKE WEEDS. And beyond that, even if this scene doesn’t have more cosmic implications (it does look me in my eyes IT DOES), the basic surface-level plot issues that are going to come from a HUMAN ARMY looking to WIPE OUT HELL is bad enough. But this show isn’t Hazbin Hotel. The stakes aren’t going to wind up being that cosmic and fundamental to existence. If the priest army ever actually makes it to Hell, I’ll be very surprised. What will NOT surprise me is Blitzo facing consequences for his recklessness and everyone he dragged into it with him, because surprisingly real consequences for silly shenanigans has really started to become something I expect from this show as it grows, and I am being FED, alright. Also I’m going full Charlie Day with the corkboard now, I’m aware of that, but I need to get all of this out of the way so I can start to examine the blood spatter of my exploded heart thanks to Stolas and Blitzo.

Because Moxxie says that business is going well for them right now. IMP follows Blitzo to make sure he’s not going to fuck up their meal ticket. IMP is making a MESS of downtown Lust because CHERUBS ARE IN HELL. ANGELIC BEINGS ARE IN HELL. AND ALSO YEAH HOW IN HECK DOES CHERUB KNOW ABOUT EXORCISTS?? Thought they were supposed to be a secret in Heaven. So. Throws the timing of this into question, really. Unless Exorcists are a known category of angel, but their exact duties are unknown, which is likely tbh. But again ANGELS IN HELL AND NOT IN PRIDE GOING AFTER SINNERS, BUT IN LUST GOING AFTER HELLBORN. LIKE. THIS SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY BIG DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT ACTUALLY. Y’know. If it wasn’t just cherubs and imps and anybody actually cared outside of the massive property damage. The crystal is already registered to Blitzo at this point, even if he doesn’t have it yet…look I’m gonna be spinning my wheels about this for a while, let me have this.

(…why do they have Mothman in a demonic containment cell.)

(and something with a lot of tentacles)

(how many cryptids are in this place??? LET THEM OUT)

Now where in the several planes of reality did they get an extradimensional portal generator? Like, I know that of all things THIS is probably not gonna get explained and I’m okay with that, but I’m deeply curious about how they developed this technology. Still holding to my theory that Stolas’ summoning of himself might have had something to do with it, but for now it’s unclear.

Also the American-centrism of it all. The layers of fourth-wall sarcasm are STIFLING.

And Collin. I see your continued reluctance and horror. I hope you get your vindication. Though it is interesting that even though he’s clearly scared out of his mind, he does still manage to hurt Loona. He had a clear shot on Blitzo but hesitates. He is dragging his feet every inch he can muster in his Moxxie suit. He can’t even fly like the other two can. Collin is a sore thumb in about every way he can be during this episode. I want that payoff. I want it bad.

You know what else I want bad? An explanation of what Cherub Towne and Heaven in general is really like, if these dweebs don’t know what sex shops or a club is. Sex shop, I kinda get, given their and Vaggie’s reaction to BDMS gear, Heaven being prudish seems like a fair assumption to make. But. Heaven doesn’t have CLUBS? And Adam was OKAY WITH THAT?? Boggles the mind, I tell you. Boggles.

(…maybe it was just a budget issue but I do wonder at how none of the Cherubs had gold blood anywhere. Plenty of bruises, but Moxxie and Millie and Loona all got stabbed, shot, or bruised enough to show plenty of black blood. CHERUB got their asses kicked just as hard, but no gold blood? Could be time and budget issues. Could be…something else. I’ve got my eye on you, Helluva Boss.)

Because I think I’m more or less done now…and it’s time to get to the main event:

I have been purposely avoiding any footage or sound of the duet until this moment. And I am SO GLAD I DID, because When I See Him Tonight is a TREASURE, a MASTER CLASS in both recap and foreshadowing. Because it’s the summary of Everything Wrong Up Until This Point, and a blueprint for How It Will Go Wrong Shortly. Because, I want to point this out up front: nothing that happens in this episode between Blitzo and Stolas is a surprise. Nothing said, nothing done—none of this is a surprise. To us. The audience. The ones not just watching them both go through this, but chewing the plot down to the marrow for meaning, interpreting based on our understanding of the characters and world, extrapolating, iterating, writing so many of our own theories and fics about how this moment would go that the fact that it plays out pretty much true to the tone we were predicting makes it all the more satisfying. Or it does for me, anyway; let me not accidentally speak for more than just myself. Don’t get me wrong, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s such a RELIEF, honestly. It’s a necessary breaking down, burning away what wasn’t working and was actively hurting them both to start the hard work of rebuilding. THIS has been building since s1e1, THIS has been the emotional heart of the show, and watching it reach a breaking point is DELICIOUS.

The buildup is so perfect, too: Blitzo is having a good day. Blitzo NEVER has good days. Blitzo’s good days get dunked straight into the toilet, either because of his own actions or because the universe (or his subconscious) can’t let him have nice things. Juxtapose that with Stolas’ nerves, the knowing that he’s going to do something that will change the nature of their relationship, and while we know it’s necessary, Blitzo making the active choice to ignore the storm he can feel coming in favor of fixing it with sex (GREAT sex, mind, sex that he has every intention of making good for both of them; I want to stress very much that while Stolas and Blitzo are ill-equipped to talk to each other in emotionally vulnerable ways, their sexual compatibility appears to be solid as ever, so good for them)…it just makes Stolas’ anxiety (AND APPARENTLY NOT BEING ON HIS MEDS SOMEONE HELP THIS BIRD MAN) that much more sharp in comparison. It is a perfect teeing up of a golf shot that’s going straight through someone’s windows and causing thousands of dollars in property damage.

…and dear sweet Loona, who isn’t exactly wrong but isn’t exactly right either, pouring gasoline on this situation and activating Blitzo’s already-awakened anxiety about his and Stolas’ relationship is just. Mwah. Perfect. Cherry on top of this shit sundae. The last perfect condition to make this a supercell feels tornado. LET’S DO THIS.

(Side note but exactly how much money did Blitzo spend on his bag of tricks because YOWZA, does he go throwing around a sack about as big as the one he tossed down to his dad full of stolen stuff back in s2e1.)

HEY BLITZO AND FIZZ FRIENDSHIP HANG ON LET ME BASK. Especially at how effortlessly flirty and touchy they are with each other, that’s just a really nice touch for both of them (pun not intended). Also the fact that Blitzo is VERY CONFIDENT that Stolas is into the Dragon Driller 5000 raises some…questions. I will file them along with the questions I have about Stolas’ lack of reaction to getting his leg snapped and then stabbed in Western Energy.

(CLOACA MENTION)

Right off the bat the tension in this scene is unbearable. There’s the real-world tension of having waited for this moment for literal months. There’s the in-universe tension of Stolas being nervous about what he’s about to do. There’s the in-universe tension of Blitzo hoping things just go back to normal and being excited about that. There’s the dramatic irony of the audience knowing this is about to fall to shit and neither of these chuckleheads being fully aware of what exactly the other guy is about to do, compounding with the underlying cracks that they are BOTH feeling in their relationship and are BOTH very insecure about. But there’s a special sort of pain in seeing Blitzo so excited and trying so hard to get Stolas excited too and it just not working, because it’s the exact opposite of their usual dynamic. The script has flipped, for some reason.

For SOME reason. Ha. As if the miscommunication horse wasn’t galloping as fast as she could FROM THE START OF THE EPISODE.

I want to stress here that this mess of a situation that Blitzo and Stolas are in doesn’t have fault or blame in it. Or, rather, it’s a mutually-created tar pit of both of their mistakes and assumptions and hurts. They’re BOTH at fault, they are BOTH to blame, and in a way, neither of them are, either. This is the ugly truth of damage scraping damage: more often than not…it causes MORE damage. Blitzo and Stolas could be really good for each other, but they have to clear away the blockages first, and that can be really painful, especially when Blitzo’s self-hatred and Stolas’ self-hatred causes them both to misinterpret each other in the worst possible ways that reinforces those self-hatreds. The ways that this show hammers home how destructive self-hatred can be is COMING FOR MY ASS, OKAY. I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT IT THAT I’M NOT SURE I CAN REALLY TALK ABOUT IT COHERENTLY.

Look, so many people are going to say it so much better, are going to analyze the ways that Stolas and Blitzo are talking past each other, but saying what they individually need to in order to start that necessary brush fire is what we all knew was coming. Stolitz isn’t going to get together this season, not with how much work they both need to put into themselves first. Blitzo has to want to be better for HIMSELF, not just for Stolas, not just for Loona, not just for all the friends he has and once had. Stolas has to learn who HE is, not as a parent or a husband or a lover, but as a person. The nuanced truth to “you can’t love someone until you love yourself” is “you accept the love you think you deserve,” and right now neither one of these poor bitches is in a place to accept the love they want to give each other. Blitzo isn’t even in a place to acknowledge that what HE feels is love, let alone that what STOLAS feels is love. He’s still in a world where his love spells disaster for everyone close to him. Reconciling with Fizz has started the hard work of dismantling that view of himself, but Blitzo isn’t ready yet, and he needs time to think and process. Stolas is so ready to begin his life at last that it doesn’t occur to him that Blitzo hasn’t been really hearing him or understanding his overtures and teasing (or that his overtures and teasing have often been classist AF, reinforcing Blitzo’s belief in Stolas’ view of him as a toy and not a person). I think given time, maybe what they’ve each been saying to each other in this scene will hit. But in the moment, oh my WORD it's a trash fire, the prophecy of the duet come to pass in glorious HD.

Side note to talk about how it looks like everything in Stolas’ house is covered, as if Stolas is leaving: HEY WTF??? Like on the one hand oh my LORD ABOVE, the parallels of Stolas covering himself up in portraits but leaving Via uncovered to Blitzo scribbling himself out of pictures. On the other hand, WHERE IS HE GOING?? Like. Drop cloths are used to keep the dust off of things when going on a trip, or leaving for a long time, or just not using that wing of the house anymore, but they’re walking through what is directly outside of Stolas’ room (and coming to stop at the very chandelier where they played as children, KILL ME). Why does it feel like Stolas was already leaving even before this rupture? Why is this teaming up with Loona’s observation that Stolas must be getting bored of Blitzo to punch me repeatedly in the gut? And does this have anything to do with the upcoming trial and what very much appears to be Andrealphus about to attack Blitzo and Stolas outside of his house? (I’m now doubting if it was Andrealphus’ house, or if he just froze over Stolas’ palace to take as his own, because the cobblestone pattern looks similar to what’s outside of Stolas’ place and Andrealphus’ Let It Go castle doesn’t appear to have the same in the brief shot we get of it I AM GOING INSANE.)

…I do love, though, how even though Blitzo is aggressive about it, he DOES want to keep talking it out, he just needs time to process. Stolas needs space to grieve, to be hurt without being seen. They’re both seeing it as the other guy just not taking them seriously, not wanting them around, how the FUCK can these two morons want the same thing but be so wrong about each other at the same time (I know, I know why, I watch the show, I’m just in despair right now). I don’t think Apology Tour is going to fix everything, not by a long shot, but if it can get these two to at least understand each other enough to realize that neither of them was actually being rejected…it’s a tall order, Viv, but I believe in your team. And this certainly explains why Stolas would have Bitch Supreme expressions at Blitzo approaching him after this, assuming Short Robe Stolas is in Apology Tour (I am on my hands and knees begging PLEASE); his feelings were mocked, the depths of his misconceptions were revealed, and his boundaries were pushed when he tried to escape. Though why Blitzo is coming for Stolas after this…can’t quite say, but it might have something to do with why IMP is on the run (unless that’s in early Ghostfuckers, which it could be, but hOW LONG IS THAT EPISODE GONNA BE, SAKES ALIVE). Because Blitzo was sexually rebuffed, given a consolation prize after being discarded, and subjected to way too much honesty without any time to prepare or process (or any immediate violence to keep his adrenaline up so he has no choice but to process, or whatever magic happened with Fizz), then dumped after spilling his vitriolic guts in an attempt to talk it out.

THEY. ARE. A. GOD. DAMNED. MESS.

And I am SO looking forward to the cleanup :P

[beartitled]

Hello there!! I was looking through some of the discord shenanigans posts and I was just wondering if you’re accepting new members?

Hi! Well first of all, glad you enjoyed the comics! It means a lot to know that you enjoyed those silly shenanigans ❤️

Sadly I’ve already left the server recently, so can’t really help much 🤷

For ppl curious my rambling, as always, will be under read more👇

As for you question:

the server’s called “TSP creators club”

yes, I believe they still accept new members, you can contact @/kelpiekidd or @/heckinrissa I think (not tagging them, to not disturb them)

They’re mods there, should help with it 🤷

This might sound weird to some ppl bc I was heavily associated with TSPcc

To be frank I wouldn’t be where I am right now, if not TSPcc: I would’ve never stuck with The Stanley Parable for as long as I did, never could’ve met so many wonderful creative people (many of whom are my friends right now)

+the server kick-started my recognition as a creator

For that I’m thankful and still look back at this part of my life with a warm smile

But nothing can last forever

(god I’m saying it like something horrible happened, which is not the case)

Basically

The reasons are mostly the same as why I left the TNP fic*: I’m not active on the server + most of my friends left from there

(*TNP - The Narrative Parable fanfic – a collaborative project involving many other creators and narrators)

So um yea, this might not be enough of a reason

But I will not do a whole comic on “The history of TSP fandom” right 📓🖋️

(oh wait I might actually 😭💥 you will maybe get this joke far in the future)

___________________

I also want to address

Discord Shenanigans aged, quite a lot

I do not regret making those comics, I still like them to this day

But

That content is not something I want to be known for, to me, it’s part of the past

I look back at them as archived memories

They are like an old photo album of sorts 📒

____________________

This does not mean I’m leaving TSP fandom

Want to be clear on that one

I still enjoy the game and the community it built around itself

Yes I still enjoy the fandom, despite meaningless drama in the community that ruins the fun for everyone

(It’s my first fandom I was a part of, I’m biased ok 😈)

‼️ I do not justify any messed up people who are or were in the fandom ‼️

What I’m trying to say that drama/creepy people are just part of any fandom experience honestly

I totally understand people who just don’t want to be a part of the fandom, it’s reasonable and valid. I’ve heard some really messed up stuff, I don’t know the full extent of every situation and don’t want to discuss it. I don’t believe I have the right, nor the information to even mention it. Creeps are not a fandom’s problem, creeps are just a problem.

And if people don’t want to address those situations: do not harass them with questions. If people want to address their experience or thoughts, they will. If they don’t want to start drama/don’t feel comfortable/just simply don’t want to - you should respect their decision. No person is obligated to report anything to the crowd.

On the side note (since I can’t shut up) - Barry

I kinda 👀

I kinda wanna explore him as a character and tell the story I made for him 👀✨

I will make a separate post about him later down the road

But as for now: yes the potential story revolves around tsp + Narratorverse aspects, yes I may abandon that idea bc of how complicated it is, yes I’m talking and overthinking too much - we will get there when we get there 🤚

So I’m still here, I still care about tsp creators: they do amazing stuff and they are wonderful people

As always sorry for that scroll of text 👉👉 thanks for your time, see you in the next random huge text post 👋

[eleetalks]

QATAR RACE RECAP

FP1

I didn’t see most of it bc I was at work (as usual).

Ferrari had a pretty good pace it seemed, although we know its only free practice. I was surprised by Alonso being up there with the top 4 when he had Mediums on and the others had Softs tbh.

QUALIFY

I meannn… this is literally Austria 2.0 !

Ferrari somehow got worse as the track got better (great right), the car is honestly shit.

Sainz out in Q2 wasn’t the best for us tbh, Perez also out in Q2 not such a surprise.

Leclerc getting P5 was honestly the best he could do, at least he didn’t get any deleted lap times.

Poor McLaren boys thought they were in the first 2 rows and got pushed back, i felt really bad for Lando obviously but especially for Oscar because he was already being interviewed.

The FIA has to fix this thing about track limits, i hope they find a way to solve this issue next year.

RACE

Ferrari just keeps proving inconsistency, this time with a fuel leak that prevents Carlos from starting the race.

I really thought that Mercedes was gonna score a lot of points and leave us in the dust in the Constructors’ Championship but nope, they had to go Brocedes 2.0 Barcelona style and crash at Turn 1. I know it was Lewis’ fault but at the same time what’s the point in him having soft if not for trying and go ahead from the start ?

But then Russell recovered really well and got P4 so yeah, they’re still P2 in the championship.

I honestly thought Ferrari was gonna mess up more with the 3 mandatory stops {and they probably would have if both cars were starting} but not too bad. They lacked pace, McLaren really did good, Piastri P2 after the crash at turn 1 was great driving.

There’s was just too much to keep attention to with track limits and mandatory stops, I honestly didn’t know what was going on half the time.

And the heat !!! They have to find a solution to this for next year because the drivers were literally passing out, they couldn’t even get out of their cars at the end of the race !

It was probably a multitude of factors and it maybe would have been bearable if they hadn’t had the mandatory pit stops bc the race basically turn into 3 or 4 Sprint races, they never really had time to manage and take a breather.

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE, PLEASE FIND A SOLUTION FOR NEXT YEAR !