#well that sounds like bullshit bc you use it constantly

[cinnamon-grump]

Sorry to all my neighbors who just heard me have an absolute mental break on the porch and scream my lungs out at 10pm…

I’m tired of me too

[iraprince]

hi idk if this is a weird question but like. how do u Make Art with adhd? you mentioned in your comic that you struggled w various other creative hobbies, but like drawing feels to me always like the Big Bad Thing I Cannot Ever do. even tho i want to make it my career LOL

how'd you get past that?

not a weird question at all! this is actually a question i ask myself pretty much every day, bc generally my answer to "how do i make art with adhd" has always been: With Great Difficulty, lmfao.

it's hard! i am not always good at it! i made art my job bc i realistically couldn't imagine being truly happy with anything else; if that wasn't the case, i'm not sure i would be doing this. like, that ends up being a big divide between the hobbies mentioned in that comic vs art, which is something that it seems (according to viewing my online activity) i do "Consistently;" it is my career, so there's a level of like, urgency and necessity there that my hobbies don't have. which, like, obviously my advice is not "make it your job so that you HAVE to OR ELSE :)" because it doesn't work like that. i am spending an amount of time OR-ELSE-ing that i think might surprise ppl, and i am frankly very lucky that my wife is the primary provider for our family, because it gives me a safety net for when my brain makes a loud grinding noise and then belches a big cloud of smoke and i have to spend a week hitting it with a wrench.

ANYWAY. this is going to get long bc i have a lot of thoughts abt it. there's really no one answer to getting past it, and i am not "past it," i don't know if i think anyone ever can be! we can just try really hard to keep going in ways that won't burn us out. if i had to pull out the absolute #1 most important thing i've learned over the past few years, it is -- and i know this sounds like dumb corny bullshit but you really have to stay with me here -- being kind and patient with yourself.

i'm being so dead serious. if beating yourself up and freaking out and constantly agonizing over how much more you Could be drawing worked, you would be drawing right now. if beating ourselves up over our output worked, EVERYONE would be drawing ALL the time. it doesn't fucking work! it does not! do literally anything other than yelling at yourself. it's bullshit. it's fuckery. it does not work.

on the other hand, cultivating as much kindness and patience and compassion as i can muster -- saying, "well, it looks like i just don't have it today. that's okay, let's try again tomorrow," even if i'm saying it through clenched teeth and i don't really believe it -- THAT works, because it chips away at the idea of drawing being life or death. it's probably a very similar feeling to you describing art as The Big Bad Thing. of course if you hang all your self worth on it and let it become immense and dominating, it's going to be hard to interact with it! it's scary! it becomes easier to avoid it than to try to tackle it and then feel disappointed in yourself in a more active way (vs. just disappointed in yet another day where u didn't try). but every time i sigh and say "okay" when my brain is screaming and crying bc art just is not working, and i decide to rest and try again tomorrow, 1. it is easier to do a little bit of work the next day when i'm rested than it is to do ANY work when i chain myself to my desk for 9 hours and demand results, and 2. i learn that it is not the end of the world. it just isn't. and so art gets smaller, and less frightening, and it can just be my job (something i have to wrangle my adhd around just like anything else, like grocery shopping and keeping the house clean and keeping up with my friends) instead of some huge destructive boss battle with my identity hanging in the balance.

sometimes you have to talk to yourself like a little kid. if a little kid came to you upset and was like "i wanna draw but i just can't. i don't know why." you would (hopefully) not be like, "whatever, i guess you're just not cut out for it then!" or whatever other mean shit we say to ourselves when we can't draw. you would be like, "well, okay. do you want me to sit with you? how do we start? where's some stuff we can draw with? hm, i can't really think of what to draw either. did you see anything pretty or cool today? let's just draw some shapes." etc etc. and if the kid got frustrated and it still wasn't working you'd be like, you know what, that was a good try. let's have some lunch and try again later. and you deserve that same level of patience, and that level of CURIOUS problem-solving ("what can we try? what might be easier?") instead of, like, adversarial/blame-assigning problem solving ("what the fuck is the matter with you? why can't you just do it?")

also, shaking things up!! one of the most frustrating things abt adhd for me is i'll find a new strategy that Works, but it only works for like, two weeks or whatever, and then it stops working and i have to do something else. i have had a way better time just accepting that that's how things work vs thinking of these cycles as "failures."

if i start dreading working at my desk, i throw a block of printer paper onto a clip board and work on the couch for a few weeks. when that stops working, i get back on drawpile and do all my warmup sketches on an interactive canvas, with strangers around me (virtual coffeeshop lol?). when i get tired of that, then maybe i'm ready to be alone with clip studio again. nope, still not working? okay, let's stream while i'm working for a while then. let's start drawing differently. let's change the background color i draw on. just, like, i keep shaking things up to see if maybe i can trick my brain into feeling like we're doing something totally new for a while, and a lot of the times it works, and when it does not work i am not an asshole to myself, which is, as i keep reiterating, super vital.

when i make the most art is when i get super excited about something and i let myself go apeshit. (there's a reason my guild wars 2 stuff is corralled on a sideblog lmao.) when commissions start grinding to a halt for me, a lot of times it's bc i've let them become Tasks on a to-do list instead of remembering that each piece is a DRAWING; it can help for me to sit down and go through each piece in my queue and really look at it, and remind myself that these are DRAWINGS and i LOVE drawing, and to point out to myself stuff in the wip that i like, and stuff i'm excited to draw the next time i work on it. it's very easy to flatten stuff into just An Obligation if you stress too much about it, but it's very helpful to slow down and step back and remind yourself WHY you care that much. it's not just bc you have to.

i don't really want this to get much longer than it already is, especially when i don't really have concrete tips so much as rambling opinions and examples of stuff that Kind Of works for me Sometimes. i think the tldr is: relax, be nice, keep it fresh. i hope at least some of this is helpful!

[backgroundcharacterno15]

Hiiii tell me about my daughter or son

(Hc ask)

Did you think I'd see this and not immediately do both? Sorry this has taken me so long to get round to, it's a big honour being trusted with your children :3

Ayato

Ayato is really big on chains in his clothing but it comes at the expense of them always jingling whenever he walks. He'll be out doing his usual tough guy walk but will sound like one of Santa's elves. just as tall as them too

He used to have quite the problem of always having saggy trousers and it became a joke that you could just about see his underwear. He was so adamant it wasn't true and just thought everyone was ficking with him until Hina kindly pointed it out to him.

Ayato is ABSOLUTELY that annoying sibling that'll walk into your room, fuck with your stuff, leave, and leave the damn door open.

Also:

"Get out my room"

"I'm not in your fucking room"

"Yes you are you're in the damn doorway"

*puts a single toe inside*

"GET OUT"

Tomoe and Touka are very familiar with this bullshit

He often tries to tell people he can skateboard and he can.... to some extent. He knows about 3 tricks and can stay on the board fine but no one believes him when he says this.

Tomoe

Tomoe quite enjoys games like animal crossing, stardew valley, and the sims. She prefers the older versions of animal crodsing as the newer villagers have much less interesting dialogue options.

She always has some sort of craft going on. Her room may mainly be neat but she always has a small slightly less tidy corner of her room dedicated to whatever project she has going on at the moment. She likes being able to let her mind go quiet as she sketches or crafts. It gives her something to look forward to at the end of the day.

She's very well versed in floriography, and will not hesitate to point out when someone's flowers don't have the meaning they're trying to convey. Ayato is constantly asking her about flowers for Hinami, even before the two started dating. She was very excited when the two started dating and the bouquet ideas she had thought of finally had a use.

She's quite handy when it comes to things like repairs around the house bc the Bin brothers were pretty much experts in that area. After their deaths, Tomoe has filled their shoes as The One Everyone Calls When Something Goes Wrong.

I feel like I could've come up with more but I quite like what I've got here! Might've been quite cruel to Ayato though (once again, I did say these would be dumb hcs) Please feel free to send me more. I love doing these :3

[bright-and-burning]

okay yeah i didn't know that there's the different ai stuff and that this is generative ai BUT GOD AM I HAPPY to see that you know the difference between ai and ml like !!! this is not ai !!! it's such a trend now and it's so wrong and so frustrating beyond the, in this case, misogynistic aspects of it. like this is not ai !! but that sounds catchy and URGH so frustrating. okay that's all i love ur additional tags thank u xoxo

yeah!! i did my undergrad degree focused on this kind of stuff (and dropped out of doing a phd in it at the last minute) so it's Literally my roman empire. like. i took so many courses in this and THEN it blew up right at the end of my degree and the misinformation........ chatgpt getting massive my senior year of college made me soooo mad i legit started to resent my field. like this particular use is particularly egregious (why hire a woman in an area severely lacking in women when we can rampantly misuse important computational and REAL LIFE resources to create a fake woman to "talk" abt SUSTAINABILITY!!!) but in general i am like constantly infuriated by AI bullshit from a lot of different sides bc Everyone overestimates/glorifies it/turns it into something it isn't, essentially. (rant abt AI from an AI perspective under the cut that idk might be informative or interesting LOL. i tried not to get technical but i did get mad)

generative ai drives me BONKERS bc it's literally not artificial intelligence. chatgpt is NOT AI it's fucking glorified predictive chat and all the dumbass tech bros on linkedin and twitter who hail it as like world changing infuriate me lol. like chatgpt literally works by calculating the word with the highest probability to come next in the sentence/in response to that prompt based on the data it trained on. is that super impressive ignoring the real world stuff going on? yeah!! it is! it's doing really well and it's fascinating in an academic sense. but then you put it in the real world context, where dumbass tech bros and business leaders worship it as god and where SEO morons use it to turn the internet to sludge and it's like oh god WHY.

and the ai art bullshit oh my god. ok i took a machine vision class right. and like literally one of my projects was to write code that could take in a photo and output it in the "style" of another photo. like as the cs version of a creative exercise, basically (they give u a Lot of projects that are basically write ur own version of an algorithm that's already been written more efficiently by someone else, bc that's how you can kind of pick it apart and really understand it, it's like reverse engineering) to show us how that works. (photos from that project are below; i took the cactus photo and then i "combined" it with a monet. i am STAUNCHLY anti-ai "art" btw this was Lich rally an assignment lol). but do you know what i learned (and what my whole class learned)? it's not fucking magic. it's LINEAR ALGEBRA. it's linear algebra on a truly batshit crazy level, combined with some crazy optical physics equations, but it's literally math. technically speaking, if you had infinite time, and were really insanely good at math (and really really perfect abt not making mistakes), you could do it by hand lol.

ai art from prompts? that's just turning words into numbers (not hard!! i did a project that did that in my second year of undergrad in literally 6hrs!!!) and THEN doing some crazy math and turning numbers into PIXELS! the computer does not know what is going on. it is a FANCY CALCULATOR. WHEN U THINK ABT IT LIKE THAT ASSIGNING HUMAN TRAITS TO MATH IS INSANE.

like tech bros who are like bro chatgpt is aliveeee bc they talk to it is like. if i made my high school graphing calculator draw a smiley face and then was like omg it has emotions......

anyways. like do you know how many projects ive worked on that use AI/ML for GOOD??? like. same kind of techniques that ppl use to create generative ai "art" algorithms? used to do things like detect cancer in scans before human doctors can do it with any confidence. isn't that so fucking cool???? i interviewed w a professor who used machine vision (so literally the field that is now seen as being abt ai art) to figure out what nutritional/vitamin deficiencies ppl in remote villages in madagascar are likely to have based on SATELLITE IMAGERY. so that the overworked underfunded public health ministry could more easily meet their needs without necessarily having to do expensive testing on everyone! i mean, shit, i've worked on really cool sports analytics projects using machine vision. that's not exactly saving lives lol but like. just goes to show how many positive applications there are!

in terms of chatgpt vibes like. i've worked on natural language processing! it has so much more potential than spitting out misinformation!! silly projects for classes, like classifying what political party a politician belonged to based on their tweets, but also more serious stuff in the research i did, like analyzing international public opinion by demographic and country on various conflicts based on individuals' social media posts! analyzing covid vaccine opinions based on demographics, and how to encourage vaccination rates based on that!!

idk it's just. infuriating. that ceos and dumbass business majors (sorry to business majors but i have met a Very Specific Type who like to butt into my field and i am Not A Fan) have completely twisted these really and truly interesting projects and applications. to continually make more money and to cut out/replace more and more people. and the way funding has mirrored this kind of interest, in part bc it makes money (the remote villages nutrition thing is never gonna make money. working on chatgpt on the other hand...) and in part bc of like. basically fear-mongering? you get so much more attention for research in these really dramatized fields (and people lie ALL THE TIMMEEEEEEE to get more interest) and it's all CAP. it's BULLSHIT. and it's just to create buzz for big tech companies' bottom lines. they don't care that it's fear based, or whatever. like people being terrified abt the impact of generative ai bc of bullshit headlines and disinformation HELPS THEM make MORE MONEY. and it's so FUCKING STUPID!!!! it makes me SICK!!!!!!

anyways. it's all math, at the end of the day. and i found a job where i get to use it to help people but i still am like deeply grossed out by what comes out of my field and gets popular bc . i got into this bc i loooove data i love information i love finding things out. and i love using those things to help people... and there are ppl using the things i love to hurt people......... it makes me so sad. and mad.

[matchbet-allofthetime]

❗Transformers Rant Post❗

(note: this is all done in one sitting and is based on personal observations and continuities I know are linked through concept art, canon continuations, etc, so I THINK this is all fairly (if not almost fully) accurate, but if not, don't come at me, tf has been my special interest for my entire life. If it sounds ramble as hell, that's because it is. My bad.)

OKAY SO

Here we go

Hopefully there's a cut because this is long and I get pissy. Enjoy.

So i just learned that in transformers Rise of the beasts, they based Optimus' face under his battle mask off of Peter Cullen (aka THE VOICE OF OPTIMUS PRIME SINCE 1984)

And from what I'm aware, they only publicly released that they made that design choice AFTER trailers released and people were saying Optimus' design was terrible and ugly, which is so disrespectful

And I'm gonna cry about this ajdjdj

While also on this topic, I am sick of being told "bayverse sucks!!!" Or some other equivalent when people talk about the bayverse movies

Because Optimus was voiced IN EVERY ONE OF THOSE FILMS by Peter Cullen, so that's just,,, don't disrespect who MADE YOUR FANDOM WHAT IT IS (give him credit for how well he did everything at least, you don't HAVE to like bayverse, no one is forcing you)

Transformers fans (mostly newer ones/ones who have gotten into the fandom in the past three to four years, I've noticed) are the vast majority of those who are CONSTANTLY bashing designs.

It's been done with bayverse (YEARS after the films released and did FANTASTICALLY), it's happened to Earthspark, and now to ROTB. This is bullshit and so disrespectful. You can criticize a design without being a dick, for one, and two? The animators didn't ask your god damn opinion.

And ALSO the reason they did his model after his face in rotb? Because *Hasbro wouldn't hire Peter Cullen this time around so (I assume) they did it to honour him because he was disrespected and tossed to the side by Hasbro because Hasbro sucks ass

He's the reason we HAVE OPTIMUS PRIME. Not a single voice could've fit, not a single person would've made Optimus who he is other than Peter Cullen.

He's the reason we have transformers prime. (Because he VOICES OPTIMUS HERE TOO) And the TFP movie (TFP beast hunters predacons rising, where he ONCE AGAIN VOICES OPTIMUS). And he's the reason why we have the continuation of that, which is transformers robots in disguise (WHERE HE IS, ONCE AGAIN, OPTIMUS MOTHERFUCKING PRIME) And then THAT became comics with tfp's characters that didn't exist anywhere else in canon (as far as I'm aware, it's been a while, IE knockout and breakout with their TFP DESIGNS, etc) then became earthspark later down the line, which was a mix of mtmte, TFP, and bayverse designs in concept art bc it combined ideas

Bayverse is ALSO ALSO the reason we HAVE ROTB. AND BUMBLEBEE 2018.

The reason I say he's responsible for all of these? The reason I say that Bayverse is a backbone for transformers (branching off from G1 ofc)? Because every single new fucking continuity or series or comics or whatever the hell is ALWAYS based on preexisting designs merging with new ideas.

He made Optimus Prime who Optimus Prime is and frankly I am a little god damn sick of people saying "this series/movie is bad" or whatever just because they don't like it

Anyways I had to rant but I'm not sorry about it and I hope others can feel a bit heard because I am so fed up with online slander.

I grew up with Bayverse. It gave me my entire start to this fandom. It gave THOUSANDS OF US STARTS TO THIS FANDOM. It is the SOLE reason we have so much we have now, as much as we have- and god damnit, you don't have to like it but UNDERSTAND it is the ONLY reason you have more than 3/4 the content this fandom currently does (if not more)

/end rant

[timaeusterrored]

(More no marriage angst bc I can)

Kerry flinched at another thunderclap, staring out his stupidly large windows. He had always hated thunderstorms, flinching through them like no tomorrow. It was impossible to try and distract him as well, he always heard it, always knew.

He felt 25 again, smoking a blunt in the floor with a guitar in his lap. The only thing missing was Johnny hanging off the bed sound asleep. His heart ached, and for a moment he felt angry again. He had been so close to having him back-

A security alert popped up. Who the fuck was here at this hour?

Kerry huffed, putting his guitar aside and the blunt in the ashtray as he stood up, really not wanting to deal with people. But when did he ever?

“V?” When he had opened the door, a soaking wet V had his back turned like he was walking away from the door. He heard a swore before he turned. “The fuck are you doing?”

V didn’t answer immediately, weighing his options in his head before choosing to just shrug.

“Get inside, you’re soaked-“ and reeked of booze. “Are you drunk?”

“No some jackass at the Afterlife tried to fight someone and I got caught in the fire.” V muttered numbly, taking his hood off in the safety of Kerry’s villa. “Not allowed to drink anyway.”

Kerry didn’t question him and just walked upstairs to find him some clothes. V was right behind him, silent as always. It was unsettling sometimes, especially remembering how he used to be. It wasn’t fair to V to think like that, the poor man had been through enough.

Kerry left him upstairs with warm clothes and a towel, telling him he could shower downstairs while Kerry sat in the living room, resuming his smoke session and strumming.

While V showered, Kerry’s mind wandered. The two had a shared dream that he couldn’t shake. One of them, together. Happy. Married even. It was odd they both had the same dream, but neither wanted to talk about it. Or at least, Kerry didn’t.

He didn’t want to give V the hope that they had a chance.

V walked out not long later, apologizing about some bullshit of wasting water. Kerry stared at him, as if trying to remind him that ‘wasting water’ wasn’t a thing in this house. Instead, he offered his blunt to Vax.

V took it and sat on the couch behind him, tilting his head back to blow out the smoke. Fuck, Kerry wanted to bite him- no. Stop it.

“Why’d you come here? It’s raining if you didn’t notice. Oh and also, normal people don’t show up to other people’s houses at 2am.”

“Normal people also don’t get high and play the guitar either. But look at you.”

Touché.

“Answer the question, kid.”

Vax shrugged again, seemingly wanting to avoid talking about why he was here. But Kerry wasn’t having it.

“Tell me. Or I’m going to bed.” Kerry knew that wasn’t true, he’d lay in bed until he broke and invited V up to join him.

“Had a nightmare. I don’t sleep well by myself. Judy’s not in town, River isn’t talking to me, neither is Panam. Wanted you.” V muttered, blowing out more smoke as he talked, it was way hotter than it needed to be.

“Mmmm so I was your last choice?” Wouldn’t be the first time Kerry had been a last choice.

“No, you were my first. I just didn’t wanna bother you. I thought you were asleep in my defense.”

“Mhm.”

“I’m serious, Ker.” He hated when V called him that. Too much like Johnny.

“You remember what I said, right?” Kerry asked after a moment.

“‘Course I do…” V whispered, and once again made Kerry feel like Johnny all over again. Constantly reminding V they weren’t, and never would be together.

But his dream self, the one that accepted it all, loved V. Proposed to V, took care of him. Kerry would never do that. Not to V.

“Let’s get you to bed. You look exhausted.” Like Kerry was any better.

“Yeah… I’ll be outta here before you wake up.” V said as if that was reassuring to Kerry as they headed up to the bedroom.

[coral-melon]

Ohh could i get an obey me matchup if u have time? :D

Appearance: i’m afab, tall but skinny like a noodle, still have curves tho. i have light brown hair and dull blue eyes i’m pale af and have a slightly larger than average number of moles. i have had purple under-eyes since i was 12 they are never going away

Personality: professionally i’m doing well but every other area of my life is in shambles lmfao. still live with my parents can’t drive depressed as hell and barely any relationship experience💀i hate responsibility but i’m still responsible because i hate letting people down. i make a conscious effort to always meet deadlines and show up to meetings on time and it bothers me when other people don’t. but still i’m pretty lenient with others and give them the benefit of the doubt. i am fairly whimsical and quite unbothered by everything. not afraid to push boundaries and attempt things no one has done before, when ppl tell me my goals sound unrealistic it just motivates me more

Strengths/weaknesses: good at drawing and school, graduated college with a 4.0 gpa and a bunch of honors and stuff, and i am the creator of several viral posts and quizzes. good at taking advantage of opportunities that come my way. and i can see humor in everything i love to laugh. i’m kinda irony poisoned and struggle with sincerity, but i’m also an open book i don’t rly have anything to hide. i always talk pretty casually with people no matter who they are but i get away with it cuz i’m smart and good at my job or something. i may come across as impulsive but i do think through everything i do and say, i’m just a fast thinker. i’ve been told i’m too trusting but i haven’t been hurt yet sooo idc ^_^

Likes/dislikes: i am fan of any kind of creative hobby. i like being in nature and interacting with animals but i’m also a pwetty pwincess who hates getting dirty. i hate doing chores and paying for stuff too 💅🏻 i avoid drama and conflict like the plague, though i enjoy it as a spectator. and i hate office jobs, specifically because i work very efficiently then have to pretend to be productive for my dumbass boss when i finish everything early. i love to hang out with people even if it’s something boring like running errands. for some reason people think i don’t like hugs or texting but i do :( i constantly crave novelty i love new experiences

Other: when i really like someone i’ll take an interest in their interests and memorize every little thing i learn about them to the point where i gotta play dumb sometimes so i don’t sound overly invested. we would probably have to have a strong friendship as a foundation cuz u gotta be patient with my repressed ass. i don’t have a lot of preferences for dates so i’d be happy doing whatever they want, i’m v indecisive so it would be good for both of us if they like taking the lead

- 🦝

Hello -🦝! Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself, it a pleasure to meet you! ^^

This felt really fun for me bc I already had a few silly hc in mind for you, so I hope you enjoy!

I match you with…~

꩜ Never a dull moment when your around him.

꩜ The two of you are a funny duo, to say the least. If it were possible, it would be like you taking care of a leash kid.

꩜ Not to worry, with this jackass over by your side, he will make you forget about your depression with his bullshit and shenanigans! That’s right, The Great Mammon himself! >;D👍✨ ((plz don’t take this too seriously..))

꩜ When it comes to you, he might as well not have any experience either. When others look at you, sometimes they think you’re the one who knows the ropes even if that’s not the case at all.

꩜ He’s supposed to keep an eye on you, but the fact of the matter is that it got twisted real quick and you ended up responsible for him instead. You keep him in check when it comes to his studies and duties he must finish. Oh what’s that? Sike! Even if you didn’t want to, he’ll beg you to help him out before Lucifer catches a whiff that he failed a test for the 1738929th time.

꩜ You’re motivated to want to improve yourself, so why would t you want the same for those you care about? No matter how hopeless someone is, surely there’s always a way!

꩜ Doesn’t matter how much he tries to hide something he did wrong though, Lucifer knows way before he himself does. So you’ll often see him upside down hanging from a ceiling. He temps you first before resorting to begging you to help him out again.

“Are ya takin’ me seriously, human?!”

— “Pfft- Yea yea of course!👌” nah, not really

꩜ As time passes by though, he starts catching your drift slowly without being told what to do. Simply wanting to get your attention and praise is enough to have him determined to want to do better. So in a way, both of you help each other out to get yourselves organized; May it be your actions or mental state. Thriving forward because of it.

꩜ He appreciates you never me giving up on him, thinking about it makes him soft and weak.. He’ll never admit it though! Not the Great Mammon himself! Not in a million years! Pretty obvious tho..

꩜ He, too, is an open book; not on purpose though. He tries to hide it but ultimately just reveals even more.

꩜ But It’s funny watching you two play dumb with each other when it comes to the other’s interests. He is just as invested in what you like — or perhaps even more — like you are with his.

“Oh, you like -insert hobby-? Ha, lame!” *Proceeds to look up everything there is to know about it*

꩜ Lovely to know you like to hang out, cuz best believe this guy is stuck to you like glue. He might try to come up with an excuse as to why he just barged into your room or sent you some random message, but it’s all bs. He just wants to be with you even if there’s no reason. He just really enjoys your company.

꩜ On days he gets paid, He’ll say he’s feeling generous and willing to spoil indulge you a bit. You better be grateful to the Great Mammon! Whenever you go shopping, he’ll keep an eye out for anything you might glance at, even if it was just for a brief moment.

꩜ And even if it’s rare coming from you, he’ll immediately sense if there’s greed coming from you. So he’ll buy you whatever it is that you want so badly! *cough* you just glanced at it.. *cough*

End

I hope I was able to make you smile

Take care -🦝!✨

[yikesharringrove]

Last episode!!

Okay! This episode had lots of ups and downs. LOTS of joe and downs.

The Steve/Nancy bullshit can literally eat shit I hate it I HATE IT

Once again the tension is constantly being ramped up, especially with the Russian team and the upside down team.

I didn’t even notice the California team wasn’t in this ep bc that’s how little I care.

There are a bunch of scenes I’ve seen as gifs that I didn’t see? Are those from teasers? Like Eddie playing his guitar in the UD?? I assume that’s to help Nancy out but I have NO idea.

Anyway this one had some good moments of return to what st used to be especially with Lucas and Dustin, but the last 20-30 minutes of pure exposition and flashbacks really sucked the life out of me. Not too sure how I feel about this ep overall

Incoherent thots:

The way Steve is literally being EATEN ALIVE by those things jesus christ. We joke abt him getting fucked up every season but this is by far the worst one. He’s alone! And so scared! And he doesn’t know his friends are coming!

That pov shot got me fucked up

Eddie yelling “kill it” while Nancy and Robin do all the work. I wanna be him when I grow up

NOT STEVE BITING THAT THING he so has rabies now.

Okay but the way he flung it against the ground by the tail 👀👀👀 okay. Aight.

Bro he TORE IT IN HALF

Me watching this scene five times:

“Well they took about a pound of flesh, but other than that. Yeah never better” love how ducked up he sounds. Also Eddie in background like jEsUs H cHrIsT

ROBIN WITH THE RABIES lmao were the same

Ooop all of them getting behind Steve

These bitches are like the Procompsognathus in Jurassic park

Oh shit that’s a little person barbecue these fuckers are CRAZY

“Promise me you won’t kill her” OBVIOUSLY this guy doesn’t give a fuck about you OR el

Do you think brenner makes the other people at the lab call him papa?

SAM OWENS FINALLY ADMITTING THAT EL IS A FRIGHTENED, TRAUMATIZED, LITTLE GIRL

I just fucking can’t with brenner he’s literally disgusting and I wish he was GONE

“This place is not a prison” THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP SEDATING HER WHEN SHE TRIES TO LEAVE

“You chose to trust me once” when? That time you kidnapped her from her mother and then tortured her mother so viscously that she was left permanently disabled? Is that when el chose to trust you?

I keep seeing in tiktok people who think number 1 is hot and bro. He’s so awful looking to me I can’t believe it

Dustin being an awful fucking liar are you kidding

“That psycho fREAK killer? Uh, no.” Dustin for president

Ted Wheeler coming in clutch suggesting the kids that ARENT HIS go to jail lmao Mrs. Sinclair looked like he was talkin out of his ass

I happen to think that Eddie’s hair should be getting bigger and more frizzy each time he’s shown. That lake water does not help with the frizz

STEVE

“I’m fine. I’m fine” DUDE YOU ARE MISSING CHUBKS OF YOUR SIDES

Robin rattling off the symptoms of rabies I love her. She really thinks her best friend is dying she’s freaking out amazing

Nancy ripping up her skirt to bandage him welcome to Rocky horror

What’s with the squelching sounds when she wrapped it around him?? Bro ew

Please know that when Steve and Nancy looked all lovey dovey at each other I booed super loud I HATE IT HERE

“Yeah you almost shot me with that one” “you almost deserved it” rip to season 1 Steve who definitely pissed himself when Nancy put that gun in his face

EDDIE STOP “fer yer modesty, dude”

Okay did everyone need to spoon up when that earthquake happened???? I fucking hate it stop it with the Steve/Nancy shit I’m on my knees I’m BEGGING

Hopper figuring out how to make a Molotov cocktail in prison he’s amazing he’s showstopping he’s incredible

“Papa, I bet that old American did most of the monster slaying” vibes

Jesus, hopper wanting el to be growing and changing and learning and meanwhile el is underground and being re-traumatized by brenner

Murray looking like he’s shitting himself in that van while lying to the guards he’s amazing

Seeing all this shit, how much brenner spoke with all the kids individually, it kinda doesn’t make sense to me why el could hardly speak or knew a lot when she got out. Like reading and writing sure, those are learned, but you learn to talk by being talked to and by talking so. Idk if this makes sense it just makes me feel a little odd. Plus the older kids have a big vocabulary so ??? What is the truth

COLLAR HIM WHAT

Good. Now we get to see the actual fucking torture DUDE BRENNER SUCKS SO HARD WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO MAKE HIM BETTER

Jesus christ what the fuck is going on

Eddie looking so distressed when Steve doesn’t get the ozzy reference I’ve seen it in so many gifs it’s incredible

(Also Steve was not engaging bc he knows ozzy and he knows that moment billy made him watch it about a thousand times on mtv but now that he’s gone, it’s a really painful memory)

YES EDDIE TELLING STEVE HOW MUCH DUSTIN LOVES HIM IM CRYING MERLIN AND I WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS

EDDIE SAYING HE WAS JEALOUS this scene fucks so hard omg

“I was too ashamed to be the only one left behind” EDDIE

EDDIE DO NOT TELL STEVE TO GET HER BACK STOP STOP STOP DO NOT FUCKING ENDORSE THIS UNHOLY UNION

Bro eddie needs to shut up fr Steve and Nancy should NOT get back together and I have so many fucking thoughts about it that it would be it’s own post entirely

Okay but I really hope they do some shit with the lights and Dustin and Lucas realize the gang is in that house that would FUCK

Dustin’s look when Erica says she’ll say what was under Lucas’s bed amazing

ERICA DIDNT KNOW THIS SHIT AFTER THE MALL??? Nobody filled her in????

Vecna opened it up obv

Okay but this Dustin and Lucas scene of them riffing off each other and figuring it out is so so good this is what I missed from stranger things this is what I loves about seasons 1 and 2

YES I SEE THAT LIGHT FLICKERING THATS YOU UPSIDE DOWNERS

STEVE IS THE ONE THATS GONNA FIGURE OUT HOW TO TALK TO DUSTIN AND LUCAS

Okay but the upside down being stuck in time of three years ago kind of fucks

Meanwhile Steve’s just screaming downstairs

“Maybe he really does have rabies” VIBES

I’m???? The magic around the lights is big time cheesey tbh

“Does anyone know Morse code?”

“Does sos count? Is that-is that good?” WHAT DO YOU THINK, DARLING????? Eddie is QUICKLY becoming a blorbo. (Except for that painful moment where he told Steve to get with Nancy but he wasn’t thinking right)

It’s not Vecna it’s your besties dw

I think they just should’ve had eddie touch the light the red magic shit looks really dumb to me

This shot in the Russian prison is BANANAS I’m freaking out

HOPPER HES THERE HES RIGHT THERE

Horse plinko

Not these MEAN MUGS the older kids have going on this is so funny to me

Why is this chess set so weird and ornate

Fucking brenner I just hate HATE him

I don’t trust brenner I don’t trust #1 I don’t trust anyone here

Lucas and Dustin fucking yeeting the lite brite and Erica giving her candy lmao

Eddie going “HI” and Steve like 🙄🫤🤨

Dustin: “We think we have a theory that can help with that”

Robin: “genius child”

“His tone, right” love LOVE him

“Honestly shouldn’t have gone with her first. She’s like, kinda mean” CALLAHAN

Callahan coming up the stairs going “oh little pigs, oh little pigs” like dude you’re the cop.

ERICA SLASHED THE TIRE FOR FUCKS SAKE SHES AMAZING

NOT THE TRANSITION FROM THE KIDS TO THE UPSIDE DOWN GANG

What song would save you from being vecna’d? I think mine would be crazy frog.

Is this really how she escaped??? I kinda wish that her escape was just always left a mystery tbh but this way is actually big time anticlimactic

Oh fuck the tracker in his neck made me SICK to look at

See in these flashbacks el has one hell of a vocabulary but we know that when she meets up with the boys she doesn’t know the word promise

HES MAKING A FLAMING SPEAR that’s so sexy aaaahahah

“The Americans are very tricky” in that super exaggerated American accent VIBES

Holy god the lighter being out of fuel

THE MOMENT THE DEMOGORGON FUCKING SPRINTS OUT OF THE DARKNESS I watched it three times at half speed so good

(Still wish this bitch was practical though)

This is the goriest scene in st so far and I wish it was MORE

“I gotta hand it to you commies. You’re committed” Murray’s karate is my favorite thing to come out of this season. He’s out here like billy zabka but not fucking painful

Not Joyce pressing all the fucking buttons queen shit

DUDE THE SPEAR THROW RIGHT JN ITS FUCKING FACE OH MY GOD

THEY DINT KNOW THAT JOYCE IS THERE OH SHIT this reunion is gonna make me cry with the slo mo

Okay but hopper at first not realizing what’s going on and then holding her back and smiling into the top of her head I’m freaking out

Okay but lowkey the look of (guys specifically) wearing long pants that aren’t fitted around the ankle and no shoes is one of my least favorite things ever and it always has been

THE KIDS

This is kinda cool with the gate in the ceiling and the mirrored shots of the trailer and the kids looking at the upside down gang

So he’s just manipulating el to get rid of the thing that makes him not lose his marbles

Cool

So it’s NOT how she got out okay nvm

El, You’re surprised?? I’m fucking not

That’s where she learned the ol’ neck snapper though

And he’s number one I fucking called it

Wait this is trippy with the rope going through the ceiling. Gravity’s about to get real weird

“Those stains are, uh, I don’t know what those stains are” KING SHIT

WHAT that’s so cool it’s sustained between them that’s awesome

Every time I see the Dio logo on the back of the denim vest I think it says Djo lol

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

Oh christ the pool

This is so spicy for Nancy (imagine if it had been Steve though that would fuck to explore his guilt)

SO BARB WQS TAKEN BY VECNA???

Oh that’s some gross shit from the pool. Once again, I called the pool being filled with gross black shit in my powers!steve fic lol

No wait OF COURSE el hasn’t escaped yet this is like 1979 or some shit

He’s Vecna. #1 is totally Vecna

So is this why the upside down is always trying to kill 11? WAIT IN SAESON 3 BILLY/MINDFLAYER SAID HE WAS BUILDING AN ARMY FOR HER yeah it’s bc vecna is weirdly obsessed with her

Okay but what does the creep house have to do with vecna? Like why is it there that he set up shop and his psychic link is through that

OH THATS FUCKING WHY HES THE KID WHAT WHAT WHAT

Oh it’s all coming together

As a certified Spider Kid his obsession with these big fucking black widows is ????

“They, like me, are solitary creatures and deeply misunderstood. They are gods of our world.” GOD SHUP YOURE SO ANNOYING

He’s literally the worst. And people like this character??? He’s painful

He fucking SUCKS

You know most serial killers start out with animal cruelty

“She despised me for it.” NO SHE JUST REALIZES THAT YOURE A KILLER AND YOUVE GOT A FUCKED UP CIEW OF THE WORLD

This whole flashback is too much exposition tbh

Brenner did all those tattoos?? That’s lowkey impressive

This is big time fucked up

Those fucking slipper shoes are so weird just have them in socks or barefoot

001 to me is what billy is to the rest of the fandom

The way I absolutely can’t stand him

These last 20 have really lost me tbh

Oh GROSS

Not only did El essentially banish him to the UD she also skinned him

WHY does it look like he’s falling to super hell

THE REAL HORSE PLINKO

Knew it

[baladric]

hey sorry if this totally out of line but I think you've talked on here about being both adhd & autistic? do you happen to have any resources or recommendations of people to follow or sth etc about that? I'm increasingly thinking that that's me and a lot of the stuff I'm finding is only about one or the other and i dont quite relate to it or else it's flat out ableist bullshit -- id really just like to be able to see more from people who are kinda similar ish

omggg, hello, friend!!!!!

i personally don't have any resources except my psychiatrist, who corroborated my hunches from the jump and periodically has things to say about the absolutely bonkers overlap b/t adhd, the autism spectrum, and (a much less discussed thing) ocd. it's all neurodivergence, which means the paths our brains tread sometimes share patterns (esp sensory issues b/t adhd & autism, and a desperate need for set routines b/t autism & ocd, etc) and comorbid a whole lot more than we really discuss. my suspicion is there just hadn't been enough serious research (unbiased double-blinds and such) into neurodivergence as whole, and so it's not quite understood how exactly they all overlap, and where the borders are between them (and even if there really are borders)

the few sort of. idk, things that helped me recognize myself were videos my best friend sent me on tiktok, and i famously loathe tiktok and am not on there but if you find the right ones they're actually super super helpful. largely bc it's real people relating their lived experiences, and also bc sometimes it's like people on the forefront of neuropsychology or presently in school for it, talking about stuff.

i will say, if it helps at all, that my path has been an extremely wonky one that i think has a whole lot to do with alexithymia (inability to name your emotions) where i never identified with the really simplistic language of autistic and adhd symptoms, bc like. for example, i had never thought hard enough about how loud sudden sounds effect me to realize that yes, it is the experience of physical pain that's described as part of neurodivergent sensory issues—a phraseology that i really did not identify with the first hundred times i read about it, because i just don't think abt myself in simple concepts like pain. and on and on like that.

i haven't sought formal diagnosis for a few reasons, but imo "diagnosis" is a weird bar to set. i know several deeply ND people who tested negative for adhd, and one negative for autism, and like man, i personally escaped any concern from teachers or family for my entire life, despite the lens of hindsight i have now that so so loudly says that was an autistic adhd child in egregious amounts of daily distress—because i speak well (one teacher called me "silver-tongued" in a disciplinary meeting in college, which was like Damn Okay, You Beethoven-Lookin Walnut) so it's all extremely weird and hazy!

bc i'm bad at compiling resources myself, my (deeply virgo) best friend has a few suggestions!

blog post of resources for autism, ADHD, and AuDHD (this is GOLD)

generally searching "AuDHD" on tiktok turns up some good first-hand/lived experience resources (lots of talk about stimming that we don't necessarily recognize as stimming, which helped me SO much bc oh shit i am actually constantly stimming huh????)

a few folks on twitter: Structured Success (whose handle is StructuredSucc which is just.... so incredible that i have to lie down now.......), AutisticCallum_, and AutisticCoach_

i'm sure there's ppl on tumblr talking about audhd too, so if any of my followers have those, pls comment and i'll add them in!!! (and follow them myself ;akdfjalwdj)

i hope this was helpful at all, and if you have any questions or anything i'm very open to talking about this!! honestly i would love for more of us to learn this shit abt ourselves earlier in life than i did, bc my lack of understanding of how my brain works instilled so, so much shame in me. this was ofc because of the rhetoric teachers & family members threw at me while i was growing up (didn't do homework despite being "gifted"? Laziness. never cleaned room? Slob/Lazy. very subtle tantrums from overstim that i repressed so hard they looked like sullenness from the outside? Ungrateful or Rude. couldn't ever make friends? Shy, Awkward, Boring, Weird, Cold, Unfriendly, Unaccomodating.) and, you know. the shit ppl say in your formative years has a tendency to stick lmfaoooo so i'm still rooting that poison out, you know? so please, please ask me—and i'll say, much like transness, if you're wondering about this? probably the answer is yes, and that's honestly a wonderful fucking thing, 100% fully believe that. understanding myself in this way has saved my life, bc i know myself now and can now hold grace for myself and advocate for my needs.

this is SO long i'm sorry anyway hey anon if you got through this monster of a post, i LOVE you, you're doing so so good and i am handing you and orange and one of the very happy zinnias from my front yard <3 <3 <3

[sukibenders]

yeah the two little bitter betty Edwina stans you fuck with love Kate so much they constantly wish and revel in the idea that Kate and therefore Simone will be shafted in future seasons and publicity of the show, those silly little immature mean girls who giggle as they pat each other on the back for coming up with the name “kantoni” to talk about kanthony like I’m sorry but you are the company you keep and you keep company with dumb bitches who subtly and overtly hate on Kate and by extension Simone oh but you’re all just so misunderstood, you’re all so fair in your criticisms, it’s all bullshit and y’all know it. The root of your problem isn’t Kate, it’s that she’s a widely adored character despite your best efforts and wishes, I know it eats y’all up inside.

Man somebody really pissed in your food because now you're coming up with shit that I have, and other Edwina fans that I talk with, never said. Like where are you getting this information from? Because it surely is not on my blog. And "Kantoni"? Did you just make that up for some point of yours? Because it's always been "Kathony", but if you were really a fan of the ship you would know that. And where have I ever said that I want Kate or Simone sidelined? Like that's a weird thing to say, especially because there's no proof of that anywhere on my blog. Unless you see me making headcanons about Edwina, most of which have her living a life of her own and in no way overshadowing Kate (but getting that through your head sounds tiring), so it mainly seems like anything that involves liking Edwina is a problem for you. Oh well, it'll continue to be if you keep stalking my page 🤷🏾‍♀️.

And you're really one to talk about "silly mean girls" when you're in my inbox, anonymously, and spreading misinformation while also calling me names. Idk about you, but that itself screams mean girl to me so....do what you will with that. I could be wrong, but you sound oddly similar to another hateful anon that I received earlier. I could be wrong but still....🤔.

And, as you said I am the company I keep, most of whom have been nothing but nice and actually have better communication skills than you (eg. not sending hate to others through anon, but rather actually talking things out, etc). And most of the things they have said about Kate have, surprise surprise for you mainly, involved 1.) giving her more plot and justice than the show 2.) having connections with her family (including her sister and Mary bc you guys like to include them but go off ig) and more, but you and others like you, the company you keep per your words, wouldn't know that. You make it your job to be hateful to random people, but then use it as the guise of defending a character who wasn't even being as torn apart as you believe.

It isn't that hard to criticize and love a character at the same time. Also, maybe this is just me, but if you don't like the things that I say or whatever wouldn't it make more sense to just block me and carry on? Wouldn't that seem less stressful than what you're doing now? To each their own.

[punkrockbuttrfly]

tagged by @alison-is-a-lesbian

Nickname: I don’t really have one

Sign: Scorpio

Height: 6′. 6′1″ if you include my ego

Song stuck in your head: Hypothesis by Penny Parker has been stuck in my head for weeks now

Sleep: bc of work schedules and adhd I tend to sleep late, like I generally hit sleep around 3-4am and wake up at like noon

Dream job: author. Maybe streamer as well. Something that lets me tell stories and be creative and work when I’m able to rather than forcing myself into work when I’m not up to it

Wearing: plaid jeans, tshirt, and a hoodie I stole from my bf. I’m not going outside today, I’m not dressing up

Favourite songs: I mean this changes constantly but every song off of DeReconstruct by Penny Parker rn. Bad News by Mel Stone. Vacation Song by Kitty Prozac. Death Stranding by CHVRCHES. Nothing by Tarby. I’m sure my answers will be different in a month.

Favourite instrument: fucked if I know I know nothing about music, if it sounds good and goes well with the rest of the music then it’s good

Favourite authors: I don’t read nearly enough stuff, but Carlos Ruiz Zafon, Mary Shelley, Rob Shearman, and I’ll let you know more when I start reading more

Favourite animal: I love most animals but above anything else I’m a cat person

Last song: Just the One Of Us by Kitty Prozac

Last series: The Legend of Vox Machina

Random: I’m really enjoying Elden Ring but I have weird thoughts about it. It’s probably the best way to translate the Soulsborne formula to open world, but I’m not sure open world fits the formula that well. I’m liking how much there is to explore, but a lot of the well made and very specific level design and encounter design is lost by allowing you to go anywhere, the horse is a great exploration mechanic but makes a lot of the random encounters easier than I think they’re meant to be, and to make up for the difficulty being reduced by way of the horse and the levels not being designed to put you at a disadvantage, some of the enemies are loaded with what I call Bullshit in order to make it work, and while that Bullshit is hilarious it doesn’t make for enjoyable fights. The bosses are generally fantastic though.

I’m not going to tag anyone bc most of my mutuals are entirely too adhd to bother with something like this, but if y’all see this and wanna do it consider yourself tagged

[babesonly]

fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids​ purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS. 

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny. 

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

--

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean 

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease 

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

Or

An ethics lesson from Hell

Or

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good 

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

--

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

--

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want? 

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god. 

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

[n0bamak1s]

your type - maki zenin x reader

request: “hi! would you be able to write fluff for maki and a female reader during/after the baseball game?” - @hvnnxh

summary: when todo makes a realization about the readers type, he takes it upon himself to set her up with maki during their exchange event (genre: fluff, kinda rivals to lovers ig)

warnings: a couple swear words, maki might be slightly ooc??

word count: 1.6k

a/n: this is slightly off from the prompt but hopefully it’s alright! i left their relationship a little up in the air in the end just bc i didn’t want it to be too rushed but i hope u like it!

if there was one regret you had after becoming a jujutsu sorcerer, it wouldn’t be a failed exorcism or hours spent in the infirmary from various injuries, no. your biggest regret would be telling aoi todo your type.

though, to be fair it’s not like you’d known that the exact type of girl you had described as your type happened to go to your sister school in tokyo. it’s not like you’d known that your classmates would constantly give you sneaky glances on the drive to your exchange event. even the famously stoic noritoshi found himself rolling his eyes when you tried to act indifferent at the mention of maki zenin’s name.

they had always noticed how your eyes tended to wander in her direction when the tokyo students would come over to train with you guys. the only problem was the fact that you barely manage to speak to her, always feeling intimidated by her confidence. though, that didn’t stop your classmates from egging you on to realize your crush on the girl.

it’s not like they were wrong in assuming that you’d be into mai’s twin sister. the problem was how insistent they seemed to be on trying to get the two of you together, which seemed to always end in you being humiliated.

when you met todo when both of you were first years and he hit you with his signature “what’s your type?” question, you answered rather honestly, in fear that he may get angry if you told a lie, or worse you told a lie AND it was a boring one.

“i guess if i had to describe my dream woman, i’d say a girl who’s confident in herself, one who doesn’t take shit from others.” you started as todo sized you up while mai looked at the ground, seeming disinterested. “and not that looks are everything, but tall girls and dark hair are pretty attractive as well.”

you heard a sniffle and looked up to make eye contact with todo, who was tearing up?

“wow y/n, i was worried you’d be a boring one, but it’s clear that you’re confident in what you like. i think you and i will get along well.” he gave you a wide grin and wrapped an arm around your shoulder to pull you in for a hug while you just smiled awkwardly, just wanting to go to class.

now todo was right that the two of you got along well usually, but that didn’t really apply when he used his booming voice to announce that “that maki chick from tokyo is totally your type that you told me when we first met!” immediately following the first part of your exchange event. at the sound of her name, the green haired girl turned to see you glaring at todo while trying to hide your embarrassment as the rest of your friends stifled laughs at the scene he’d created.

after their teasing died down, you turned forward again to make eye contact with maki, hoping to apologize for how embarrassing your classmates were. but unlike the irritated expression you expected her to wear, she instead just gave you a soft smirk before turning back to her underclassmen, who instantly sent her whispers that you could only imagine were asking what the hell just happened.

but surely you wouldn’t see much of her during the second part of the event, it would probably just be a relay race or something where you barely had to interact, right?

wrong.

your next competition would be a baseball game, where you would spend over an hour around the tokyo students, which would inevitably lead to more of your classmates poking fun at you. unknown to you, however, the same thing was happening to maki with her teammates.

“why is your face all red? do you need to rest?” itadori had said as he inspected her face following todo announcing to everyone that she was your type. in response, she just knocked him on the head with her staff and kept walking ahead while nobara and itadori grinned at each other, apparently their strong willed second year had a soft spot for you.

“you know, girls totally have a thing for baseball uniforms.” todo said to you matter of factly as you tied up your cleats.

“and you’re telling me this because…?” you replied, hoping to come across as nonchalant.

he grinned at you with a mischievous look in his eyes as he rested his elbow atop your head for support. “who knows, maybe maki is one of those girls. plus, in the event that takada somehow sees this game, i think she’ll be pretty into this look!” he said confidently. you looked away and muttered some bullshit about how you didn’t care about what she thought about how you looked before you were interrupted by the locker room door swinging open to reveal miwa.

“come on guys! we start in a few minutes, and i’m sure you guys would hate to disappoint the other team.” she finished her sentence by turning to you with an almost catlike smile. you tilted your head back and groaned. her too?

the kyoto team would be batting first, giving you some time to relax in the dugout before you went up to bat. just as you were practicing your swing for batting next, your zoning out was cut off by the sound of a ball hitting todo square in the jaw. your hand flew to cover your mouth, not from concern, but to stop yourself from laughing. maki’s mock concern for todo was put on hold for a moment when you stopped trying to hide your amusement and letting your loud laugh reach the ears of your peers. she paused for a moment, not bothering to hide the smile that crept across her face at the combination of your adorable laughter, and the fact that she had been the cause of it.

“nice hit maki!” you looked up at her with a grin, while todo gave you a look of betrayal. though his glare didn’t last long when he noticed the exchange between the two of you. in his mind he was probably crediting himself for egging you on to realize your small crush on the girl, as if he was some kind of matchmaker.

the game went on pretty steadily from there, a few stolen glances between you and maki contrasted by how you cheered for momo whenever she managed to catch a ball hit by her.

the game ended with the tokyo team just managing to get by with a one point lead. you all watched them celebrate their win, before you turned back to your team, complimenting them on their hard work in hopes of lifting their spirits.

you turned back to the other team to see them loudly announcing how maki should go get them some food from the vending machine, every so often glancing to you to gage your reaction. you jumped at the feeling of todo shaking your shoulder from behind, announcing that you should get some food for the kyoto team. these guys really were the worst at being subtle, weren’t they?

instead of protesting though, you just shrugged his hand off your shoulder and made your way to the vending machines, wherever the hell those were.

after a couple minutes of making your way around seemingly every path surrounding the tokyo school, you saw maki, whose arms were hugging bags of chips close to her, and waved to her to call her over for help.

“hey, i’m kinda lost, do you think you could help me find the vending machines?” you gave a sheepish grin as you asked.

“yeah, why not?” she shrugged and smiled.

you guys walked in comfortable silence, considering your destination was pretty much just around the corner. when you realized this, you groaned from embarrassment.

“thanks for that, sorry, i should’ve known it was close by.” you chuckled awkwardly.

“no worries.” she smiled, pulling off her cap to fan her face.

god, what business did she have to look that good when covered in sweat and dirt?

“our school is pretty confusing to get around. you know if you wanted to come around again sometime, i’d be happy to show you around the place.” she leaned her head down slightly, still maintaining eye contact with you. you just nodded in response, trying to keep your composure with the close proximity between the two of you.

“you know,” she continued, “i was pretty glad to hear i was your type.” she leaned down just a little further, so your noses were practically touching.

“because you’re my type too.” she smirked.

unfortunately for the both of you, your little moment was interrupted by itadori turning the corner, it seemed like he had gone searching for the two of you.

“hey i was just looking for you-“ he cut himself off when he saw what he could only assume was the two of you seconds away from a kiss.

“sorry!” he rushed away, feeling embarrassed at the thought that he had somehow invaded your privacy.

you sighed annoyedly, knowing that you would inevitably have to deal with a million questions from your classmates about whatever it was itadori would tell them.

“aw come on, let them believe what they wanna believe.” maki smiled widely about how easily you became flustered. “they’ll leave us be as long as we bring them back some good food.” she lazily swung an arm around your shoulders as you slipped money into the machine.

maybe you’d actually have to thank todo for making you tell him your type after all.

[aquariansarehumanitarians]

Gentaro Yumeno Chart Analysis

For each post, I’m gonna chart with a character’s big three (Sun, Moon, and Rising) because these are the most important aspects of one’s chart. After that, I’ll talk about the most interesting aspects of the chart outside of the big three. I’ll do relationship analysis separately because otherwise I’ll go insane and these will be WAY too long.

The Sun sign represents the ego; who we are at the core. This is why when somebody asks for your sign — this is the one you given them.

The Moon sign represents one’s deep emotions, how they choose to express (or not express them), and what makes us feel comforted. 

The Rising sign represents the ‘mask’ that somebody wears. Or perhaps more fully put, it’s the impression that somebody gets upon meeting you for the first time. Of course, this can also play into our own self-image as well.

Now that those explanations are out of the way, let’s start with Gentaro’s chart:

For Gentaro’s chart, I thought it would be interesting if the birth time was a palindrome on a digital clock (bc of mirror reflection imagery). In this case, I went with 15:21 (or 3:21pm, which I also think will be interesting when I inevitably make Hifumi’s birth time 1:23, since they’re foils of each other). He’s an Aries Sun, Cancer Moon, Virgo Rising.

(More below the cut so I don’t clog the tags)

VIRGO RISING: Virgo is an earth sign, which means that it’s well… down to earth. I really don’t know how else to put it lol.

Virgo in particular is a very analytical sign. They appear to have their shit together at all times, even if they’re actually breaking under the pressure. They put a lot of pressure on themselves to do things the correct way, and this sometimes extends to the people around them.

Virgo is ruled by the planet mercury, which is the planet of communication and thought. What this means for those with strong Virgo placements is that they’re pretty fluent when it comes to their words. What it also means is that their inner monologue literally just never stops going. They overthink constantly, sometimes to their own detriment, but they will insist that they’re just trying to be cautious. Virgos also have an innate desire to be helpful and useful, though they usually do so in more practical ways rather than emotional.

So taking all of that into account, I think that describes Gentaro on a surface level-basis fairly well. He appears to have his shit together, and is very, very good with his words. He thinks very deeply about things, but chooses very carefully what to share and what not to share. He’s also the only member of Fling Posse to have a strong earth sign placement and as such, he’s the most practical, down to earth member of the group.

Something in particular that I think is interesting about the rising sign is that even if the traits associated with it don’t come naturally, it’s strongly connected to the idea of self-image, so it’s just as much about who you’re trying to be as it is what other people see you as. Considering what he know about Gentaro and who he’s trying to be… I think it’s a pretty pertinent piece of information.

ARIES SUN: Aries is a fire sign. Fire signs are very spontaneous, passionate, and often a bit brash. Aries in particular is an instigator. They’re very sharp, and a bit aggressive and combative. Of course, they don’t act that way for the sake of being mean so much as that they’re very direct. They rarely hide what they’re thinking or feeling, mostly because they’re not very good at it. You may be saying “now wait a minute. That doesn’t sound very much like Gentaro,” to which I would respond… I didn’t decide on their birthdays. They really made Gentaro an Aries so that his birthdate could be a joke. Smh. Irresponsible.

But like all astrology, I can bullshit an explanation for it LOL

What’s important about Gentaro’s sun sign here is that it’s in the 8th house. For those of you unfamiliar with astrology: houses in astrology are the little pizza slices that make up the circle (and the 8th house is the one with the little “8″ in it). They represent different areas of life. The 8th house represents things which are taboo, hidden, and — especially notably for Gentaro — secrets. Having his Sun the 8th house means that Gentaro’s true self is shrouded in mystery. It remains hidden, and he is very hard to get to know on a completely honest level. While we don’t have all the details for why this is yet, it does explain why the more brash parts of Gentaro are often hidden until something important happens to draw them out. In fact, if I’m making an argument for his Aries Sun here, whenever Gentaro’s facade drops, anger and combativeness are often the first things to surface (ex: When Hifumi makes fun of his clothes, when Ramuda is in life-threatening danger). Also, remember how his Virgo Rising makes him conscious about usefulness? Well the Aries Sun traits are allowed to come out when they can be useful to him to further a goal as well (ex: instigating when he can tell that Ramuda’s hiding something, starting shit with Juto when MTC has them cornered at the warehouse, etc).

CANCER MOON: Not me crying about how much of a read this is for Gentaro omg.

So Cancer is a water sign, meaning that its an emotionally based sign. Actually, the moon rules Cancer, which basically means that the moon and Cancer get along SUPER well, energy-wise. Cancer in particular is very emotionally adept. They’re very tuned in to the emotional needs of others and can almost be motherly at times as a result of this. However, they are also fairly guarded. Much like the symbol for Cancer — the crab — they have a hard shell surrounding their much softer heart. They can be very complex and hard to get to truly know. Gentaro’s moon in Cancer means that he actually feels and understands the emotional needs of those around him very well, but he does not often say it due to his own need for self-preservation. Frankly, this skill also makes him good at manipulating the emotions of others as well. However, it also makes him more prone to kindness than he is to cruelty, which might be why despite his lies, he never lets the ruse go on for too long. He purposefully takes care not to make himself vulnerable if he can help it, but he still finds ways to express this kindness to others (especially those he cares for) without letting the mask slip too much.

Funnily enough, Ramuda (who we’ll see also has a very emotionally perceptive but guarded moon) seems to see through his immediately upon first meeting Gentaro, basically putting his secret kindness m.o. on blast. 

Oh and speaking of, his moon is also in the 11th house, which is the house of friendship and community. This suggests that Gentaro is the most comforted and at peace when he has friends and a place to belong. We can see this clearly in Loneliness, Tears, and Hopes of a Puppet and Catch Us If You Can. Gentaro can get particularly emotionally involved and feel a need to protect people who he feels safe with. His emotions being focused in the 11th house also means that he is much better at reading others’ emotions than he is his own. In fact (as we see in Calyx/Utena), self-realization usually comes in the form of his own emotions being reflected back at him by his friends.

OTHER INTERESTING PARTS OF GENTARO’S CHART:

SUN CONJUNCT VENUS: In very basic terms, a conjunct in astrology happens when certain celestial bodies are very close to each other in a person’s chart. When this happens, the energies of the bodies combine and they act together instead of independently. Gentaro’s Sun and Venus are very close to each other, and Venus — being the planet of attraction, beauty, social skills, and romance — indicates that Gentaro is actually a rather passionate person when it comes to love, his friends, and aesthetics. However, this deep passion rarely surfaces in a conscious way due to the 8th house placement.

MOON CONJUNCT MARS: Mars, being the planet of war, is associated with motivation and aggression. Most of the time, it directly relates to how a person expresses anger. The moon, as we’ve discussed earlier, is about emotions. Both of which are in Cancer, an emotionally ruled sign.

Do I need to say anything else??? Did the man not LITERALLY say “All emotions are weapons” in Hoodstar?? I rest my case.

MARS TRINE MERCURY: In astrology, a trine is an aspect that represents easy flowing energy between the planets involved. Whichever two planets have this trine usually bring luck, opportunities, and natural creative talents. So like… yeah DUH Gentaro’s emotions flow freely into his creative written works and give him immense talent. This is also why for such an emotionally hidden person, his heart is basically put on fucking display in all his songs.

PISCES MERCURY IN THE 7TH HOUSE: Mercury is the planet of communication and thought, and as such, it determines our communication style (how we think and speak) and how we learn. Pisces, like Gentaro’s moon, is a water sign. Pisces in particular is very sensitive, intuitive, artistic, emotionally perceptive, and dreamy (hahaha drop your best “Yume”no puns here). It’s also in the 7th house, which is the house that represents interpersonal relationships (platonic, romantic, business, etc). As such, we can determine that Gentaro’s style of speaking, learning, and thinking are all developed through the lens of his creative endeavors (writing and rapping), and he does so with the intention of better understanding himself and the people he has close relationships.

Another thing to note is that Pisces is actually in “detriment” here (i.e. the energies of mercury and pisces don’t get along lol), so although Gentaro gives the strong impression that he’s a very good communicator (Virgo rising), he actually struggles to communicate his true feelings unless it’s through a creative medium.

I hope all of that made sense and wasn’t too much! Please feel free to leave a reply or message me if you have any questions!

Character Relationships Analysis based on his chart is now here!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/19/22

the search for evil lair 2.0 continues. trying to lean harder into consuming things i already know i will love in times of...well. in these times

listening HONEY by luna aura. this song has the line “my honey’s only sweet if you can take the sting”. stay with me okay i know that’s one of the cheesier lines in the songs i’ve flung in front of people this year. this song sounds like a nineties cartoon big sister. really fun driving buildup to the chorus, i really do like the vocals in this one. a well-used little bit of echo! i am very glad we seem to have moved away from whispery bullshit in pop songs, but we have now skewed the other direction in pitching voices near the very bottoms of ranges and trying to do sing-speaking jazz lite? none of that here. we are simply Singing A Pop Rock Song And Having Fun.

method of discovery: on spotify weekly rec list. thank u spotify, ur an awful company but you do have my taste dialed in from all the data you have on me.

reading fallow week

watching mushi-shi, described to me once as the slowest procedural medical mystery/drama imaginable. fits in with my love of one-season cancelled anime (although apparently there’s a second season kicking around, just not legally obtainable?) it is Just Nice, both as a neat little mystery wrapped up at the end of the episode and to look at.

it’s like. what if the witcher, with the traveling white-haired man focused on supernatural creatures who travels constantly out of duty and a little bit of a curse, but gentler, and also weirder, bc every ep is basically the twilight zone with a little more body horror, but is standalone and ends with basically welp! that was fucked up huh! on to the next one! also the art style of the forest in princess mononoke.big focus on “this is not inherently evil, these are just creatures doing their thing, but they do get out of balance sometimes and it’s our job to fix that”

idk how i came across this one? one of the few anime hulu had early on, i think, and then tumblr user vintar (who i will not tag bc they are very cool and important and i have a little bit of a crush on them) blogged about it ages ago and it went onto my list of media to consume.

playing fostering apocalypse by studio incisor

big tough gruff butch lady accidentally adopts a demon child, and can talk and/or punch her way out of anything. catnip for me personally, the idea and the bones of the thing are good but the execution is a little wonky. many “first game game design problems” that are slightly annoying. polished in odd places.

i think this needs to be either a visual novel where i click to advance every panel or have more clearly delineated cutscenes. this thing has some sidescroller exploration and minigames, with some speech bubbles AND the traditional little banners like in visual novels (see image above). the speech bubbles’ timing and placement are a little klodgy, but I do like how groups of peoples’ speech bubbles all flutter up at once. some neat moving text stuff within the speech bubbles that add a lot to the atmosphere for very little extra work, which is a smart choice.

however, a mini game mechanic was simply never explained, and while i sort of guessed my way through it i’m not entirely sure how it works still, or what failing it even means? your two stats, Faith and Punch, were never fully explained either, although they might have been if i went the punch route instead of talking my way out of both situations. i think you would have to try extremely fucking hard to fail this game or get the bad route.

things i liked about this game: the art- as you’re driving the landscape slowly shifts weirder and weirder, and the character design is great. everyone has a distinct silhouette. they actually shelled out for a custom soundtrack, which is interesting.

this was an interesting enough concept and artwork/character design that I’m excited to see what they do next! took me about half an hour for one route, got it in an itch.io bundle, i think i would have kicked them the five bucks and felt like my money was well spent bc i want to see more of this kind of weird stuff in the world.

making kali @andmaybegayer said the absolutely haunted phrase “caring for the evil lairmobile (the body)” several weeks ago and i can’t get it out of my head

anyway, body made a cool new scar out of a Very small injury that was Very carefully tended. thanks, body, for remembering that girls love scars.

[jishyucks]

Eight Count ‣ lmh

‣ genre: fluff, enemies-to-lovers, hogwarts!au, I think it's a slow burn

‣ wc: 10.8k

‣ summary: "There's honestly no way Minho would like me. And me of all people would know that." ; in which fate decides to be an ass and make you and Minho dance partners

‣ an: I'm sosososo sorry @ whoever requested this bc of how long it took. I didn't mean for it to be so long but it kept going and uni is to blame bc all of the work :(( but anyways enjoy !!

i.

You feel the beat of your heart quicken as you maneuver through the maze of corridors that you had begun to approach. Time was ticking. The first classes of the day had already started about half an hour ago, and here you were, racing down the stone hallways, tardy and a bit dazed.

It had only been a mere five minutes since you had woken up in the dormitories in pure panic, the realization that everyone had left and you were still cuddled up against one of the pillows in your bed driving you to act quick. You could accuse your housemates of not even bothering to check if you were alive, but you soon decided to place the blame on your body's restlessness and inability to go to sleep when you wished. You wouldn't call it insomnia, but your sleeping patterns weren't normal either.

Approaching the dance room with a quiet sigh of relief, you tug at the wooden door and peek in, hoping that you weren't barging in at such a humiliating time.

Scattered around the rather room, students were paired in twos. Each couple's bodies had been facing each other, hands sitting awkwardly in the other's while their faces were turned towards the dance instructors, Professor Shin and Professor Na. By the look on Professor Shin's face, it was evident that she was about to continue speaking, but the door swinging open had caught her attention.

"Ahh Y/N, nice of you to finally join us," she clasped her hands in genuine excitement, passion towards dance obviously bubbling up inside of her.

You grinned crudely and bowed your head, "W-what should I do, Professor?" Spotting your best friend Felix within the group of students, he tried his best to send you a look of 'we were supposed to be partners'. You shot him an apologetic expression back before turning your attention back to both professors.

After a brief pause in thought, Professor Na's face lit up, "Ah yes! Lee Minho lacks a partner as of now!" Following the eyes of your teacher, they brought your line of sight to the far corner of the room where Minho had been sitting. At the mention of his name, he raised his head to see that everyone had been gaping back at him in what seemed like total silence.

A sharp intake of air through your nose had replicated a gasp, eyes growing wide, "P-pardon?" Out of all the boys in the class, an amount you couldn't keep track of with your fingers, you had to end up with Lee Minho? The human embodiment of a wet sock?

Minho was… unbearable, to say the least. It wasn't that he had done something for you to hate him, which made you seem like a bad person, but in all honesty, your guys' personalities didn't seem to match. He was too arrogant, in your opinion. He has this energy that he carries that really didn't sit well with you, and by the looks of it, the feeling was mutual. It was as if you both ended up on the opposite bc end of everything.

It really doesn't help that you're a Hufflepuff, and he's a Slytherin. For some unknown reason, they always loved teasing the people from your house, though Hufflepuffs chose not to return their actions.

"Mr. Lee is the only student remaining with no partner."

You gulped and slowly approached him, only because your professors had motioned you over to him. If you could protest, you would, but what was holding you back was the attention given by the entire class and the teacher's who seemed too excited for their own good.

Minho pressed his tongue against his inner cheek, eyes lighting up in wrongly-fueled happiness. He hopped from the upper bench and down across from you. You blinked back at him dryly, maintaining calm yet trying to speak to him with your eyes.

Crossing his arms, he leaned forward and smirked, "Why the bitter face? You should relish in your luck for ending up with me."

"Stop talking, dead cells are coming out of your mouth… Luck my as–"

"Now! That everyone has a partner, I'd like you all to stick with these individuals until these classes are finished," Professor Shin had announced. It was quickly followed by groans and whining from many of your classmates. Though you hated your partner and wished you had arrived earlier and paired with Felix, you stood quiet, isolating the anger within your chest.

"And before we begin once again," Professor Na added, "I'd like to point out that this is still a class. We will be holding a class particularly focused on evaluation and your grade will be heavily based on participation over the length of this course." Once again, a chorus of grumbles had flooded the room.

You hear Minho curse under his breath, only because he was now two steps too far into your bubble, "This is utter bullshit."

This time it was your turn to taunt, "Why? Are you scared or something? Can't dance? Can't keep up with everyone?"

Narrowing his eyes, he scoffs, "Oh, shut your mouth, bumblebee. Just wait and see."

ii.

"Get up!" Felix tugged at your arm, voice sounding louder than it actually was. When you hadn't shifted at all in your bed, he sighed and tugged once more, "Y/N!"

"Wha– Felix you're not allowed in here!" You kicked at your blanket and sat up.

"We need to get to dance class," he clicked his tongue, "Let's go~"

"I really don't want to go," you whined, "I'd rather fail a class than hold hands with Lee Minho for an hour and a half." Felix dragged you out of your bed to see that you were already dressed in your robe, only your yellow and black tie had been carelessly tied.

"Wait, did you not change out your clothes from yesterday?" Felix jumped back in exaggeration, alarmed and slightly grossed out. His nose scrunched while he judged you through his eyes.

You glared at him and scoff, "Of course I did, you idiot. And don't act like you haven't done that." You take this as your victory as it was true, Felix had gone two days without changing, and it was a bit nasty considering all the places he's gone to in a day.

This time it was his turn to glare at you, "You shut your mouth! Now let's leave before Snape sees us roaming the halls once class starts."

Minho winced slightly, trying not to let your feet ruin the simple waltz routine that the class had finally run through, "If you step on my foot one more time, I'm shoving yours up your arse." His teeth were gritted in frustration, looking down at you with narrowed eyes.

"Then stop stepping on my feet," you muttered back, hoping that no one else, especially the professors, were hearing you two bicker.

It had only been about two lessons into the class and that amount of times that Minho had purposefully disrupted the routine… as if it were good, to begin with.

The two of you found it difficult to fall in sync with each other. It was always either going too fast or too slow, someone making an 'accidental' mistake, and Minho's favourite, holding your hand and hip with a tight and stubborn grip. It wasn't evident whether he was doing it on purpose, either, but you had pointed it out plenty of times, and he never seemed to loosen them.

"I'm not stepping on them," he pushed you back a little too early in the dance, causing you to stumble on your own feet. This caught the attention of those around you, though they carried on almost immediately after.

"Tell that to my bruised toe," you argued back.

As if you were being blessed, the music had finally come to an end. You promptly retracting your arms and to your body and taking a step back from Minho. He had done the same, going an extra mile to turn away from you and to the professors.

"Perfect! Perfect!" Professor Na's face lit up from excitement, "Now that we have learned this simple routine, next class we are moving on to one of the actual dances done in the Yule Ball as tradition. I hope you all are excited as I am!" Very few students had taken time to let out a "whoop" while everyone else, including you, chose to retrieve their books at the seats.

Felix approached you with a pitiful smile. He already knew what you were going to say, patting your back gently, "So how was it?"

Exhausted, you just shook your head and shrugged. Being partners with Minho honestly had been completely draining for you, mentally and physically, which was unusual as you could often live through such situations without feeling the need to scream.

"What else do you think?"

Felix nodded apologetically and puffed out his cheeks, "Is it as bad as the potions exam we had in fourth year?" He shuddered subtly and led you out of the classroom. Just thinking about that exam made Felix want to claw at his brain. If there was a way to take a particular memory and make it disappear from the chamber of long term memories, he would. Maybe then he'd be able to get a few more hours of sleep.

"Yes," you replied simply. The test was equally as horrible for you, but a test didn't force you to 'create chemistry' with a certain Slytherin.

"You're lying… can't be that bad," Felix laughed lightly.

"Easy for you to say," you sighed.

From behind, you feel someone bump your shoulder and pass by you, "Oops," he snickered, walking backwards to watch your reaction. The only thing he was missing was popcorn.

You turned to see Minho and rolled your eyes, "Ha-Ha, you're so funny, Lee Minho." Such a childish joke and you guys were almost leaving Hogwarts.

Though your reply had been dripping in sarcasm, Minho's wit had dodged it entirely, "Well thank you very much," he bowed, more like a manly curtsy, before he ran off, leaving Felix slightly puzzled at what just happened.

"Don't you see how much of a dingbat he is? He constantly chooses to pick on me just to get a reaction out of me," you utter, "He should be glad I was raised to be patient, if not I'd be hexing him like the world was near its end."

"I see a pattern," Felix hummed. The expression on his face looked as if he had come to an incredible epiphany.

Making a face, you click your tongue, "What do you even mean by that?" What pattern? Green, white, green, white? Minho and his constant need to be the crow to your crops?

Felix patted your head, "You're slow sometimes, you know that right?" He puffed his cheeks up and raised his brows as he looked down at you as if you were a kid.

"Can you just spit it out?" you narrowed your eyes at him before you physically pried his hand off your head.

"Minho does all of that just to get a reaction out of you," Felix presses his lips into a thin line, slowly forming a smile.

Finally arriving at the next classroom, you groaned, "You basically repeated what I said earlier…"

"If you didn't know this already, boys love getting attention from someone they are attracted to," Felix plopped into his seat. You followed right after, "I should know… I'm a boy."

You almost laugh at the tone of his voice. The confidence and the look he gave you to emphasize his statement; was all too funny, "So what you're saying is… Lee Minho has a – and god forbid– crush on me?" Felix nods like a young child, with eyes wide and a tight-lipped smile.

"Bollocks," You burst out laughing, "Felix, I love you, don't get me wrong, but you've never said anything more rubbish in the years I've known you."

"The chances are never zero," Felix put his index finger as if he were saying it in 'a matter of fact'.

You lean forward and sit your chin at your folded forearms. You eyed the teacher as she made her way into the room, "You're right there, Lix, but there's honestly no way Minho would like me. And me of all people would know that." You locked that statement in, feeling your words and emotions contradict.

Right?

iii.

"And then Y/N had the audacity to step on my foot," Minho kicked at the bench across from him, frustration released after what seemed to Seungmin was years of ranting. He didn't mind though, in years of being in the same house as him, he learned how to block him out yet still know what was going on when Minho asked for some sort of reply.

Minho tapped the end of his pencil against his textbook, eyes drifting off elsewhere in the grand hall. Students were clumped at their respective tables, studying for whatever class they had. Minho was trying to do the same, but his state of mind was not in the mood. But he was trying, he was pushing himself, that's what mattered in his opinion.

Turning his attention to Seungmin, who was seated next to him, he jumped, seeing that Seungmin's eyes were wide and directed at him, "What the hell!?"

"What?" Seungmin shifted back forward, facing his own books. In a sense, the scene was hysterical. He acted as if he hadn't done anything wrong or out of the ordinary, but Minho still tried to push an explanation out of him through looks.

"What do you mean what? Why were you looking at me like that?" Minho put his pencil down and closed his book on it.

"I was trying to see something," the boy shrugged and got back to his own work.

Again, Minho furrowed his brows at Seungmin's lack of detail in his response. What in the world was he even trying to do? "Trying to see what? If you don't answer me properly–"

"Okay! Okay!" Seungmin exclaimed a little too loudly, earning looks from other wizards in the room, "You know that saying that if you're in love, you start to glow?"

"No? What type of nonsense are you saying?" Minho scoffed, "Love? Are you sick or something?" Roughly, Minho brought the back of his hand to Seungmin's forehead, which Seungmin had thrown off almost right away.

"You've been talking about Y/N this entire period, you haven't stopped until moments ago," wiggling his eyebrows, Seungmin whispered his reply to Minho, making sure no one would be able to hear him this time.

Minho's face had contorted into one of disgust and confusion, "And?" Where was Seungmin even going with this? He was just relieving stress. It's not that deep.

"My point is that they're the only thing you've been talking about lately," Seungmin scribbles his pen at the top of his paper to get it to work, "Even if I start the conversation, it somehow just shifts to Y/N. Normally I'd be mad, but since you're in love, I'll let it pass."

"In love?" Minho's jaw dropped, a mixture of emotions swimming around inside of him, "In love!?" Trying to find words to perfectly reflect what he was saying, he fails, shoving Seungmin off the bench. Actions spoke louder than words, right?

Seungmin smirked and chuckled, unfazed, "What? Cat got your tongue?" He gets up, dusting his robe off before sitting back down, "It's because I'm right, aren't I?"

Minho gulps, "Will you quit it? You're…"

"I'm…?"

"You're confusing me. Quit it," Minho huffs, gathering all his things as he was planning to return to the dormitories. This was a different way of playing with emotions. There was a zero per cent chance that he liked you, or worse, loved you. That word was way too strong, dangerous like amortentia.

"I take that as a yes!" Seungmin stood his ground, just letting out a genuine laugh.

Minho held a finger up at Seungmin, who still laughed, unbothered. He didn't like you. And if he did, it wasn't wrong to do so. It was an ordinary mortal thing to have feelings. But that didn't matter right now because he didn't like you, not even a tiny crush.

But that slight state of unfamiliar panic in his heart says otherwise.

iv.

The muscles in your arm were aching from the horrible fact that Minho had been purposefully letting his arm go limp while he was holding your hand, which somehow led to you holding up his arm with your arm. You frowned at him, tempted to let your arm fall in the middle of the routine.

"Can you actually put in some effort?" you whispered through gritted teeth. Squeezing Minnho's hand, you directed a look of annoyance that only returned with an amused look. Underneath his robe, you could tell he had been intentionally dragging his feet, causing the both of you to slowly hold those partnerships behind you up.

"I'm not wasting energy on this," he shrugs quietly, "It's ridiculous."

"What don't you find ridiculous?" you rolled your eyes, "You Slytherins and the lack of interest in anything but yourselves. Where's the excitement in that?" No, you didn't want to generalize the entire Slytherin population, especially since you had family members from that house, but you knew exactly how to rev up Minho's engine. Just by the way his face twisted, you knew damn well you hit the right spot.

"Shut your mouth before I spin you a little too hard…" he said a little bit louder, "I don't find it ridiculous, I just find that us being partners is ridiculous… who in this entire school would want to be partners with you?" Before you could even reply, he had caught you, "That's not from your house."

"Jokes on you, I know plenty of people who would be partners with me," you scoffed, and it was true. There was Jisung who had somehow been sorted into Gryffindor, Hyunjin and their seniors, Bang Chan and Changbin. And there was Jeongin, who was a Ravenclaw. You could list a handful more, but that's beside the point.

"Silence is deadly," he stifled a laugh which had driven you to 'accidentally' stumble over your own feet. This caused him to stumble himself, only he wasn't prepared for it, "I'm blaming you for ending up being my partner. I was hoping someone else would've entered the room. But no, it had to be you."

"You're blaming me? For this?" You shake your head out of disbelief, not noticing that your voice had gone louder. You were catching the attention of those around you and the professors at the front of the room, "You could have found a partner you wanted in the first place but you probably decided to stay back and wait for someone to go up to you. No one wanted to be partners with you, which is why you ended up alone in the first place."

Minho's eyebrows furrowed, eyes almost on fire at what you had just said, "You know what?!"

Before he had been able to continue the banter, Professor Shin had cleared her throat. The glares that they both were sending your way had caused the both of you to stop with the squabbling, "Y/N, Minho, I know we've never talked to the two of you about your constant bickering, but it is simply interrupting the atmosphere of my classroom."

Taken aback, the both of you had stumbled over each other's feet, falling to the ground and causing a domino effect among the rest of the students.

Flustered, you turn to Minho, "That was all your fault, Lee Minho." You huffed and attempted to get up, failing once you noticed that Minho was practically lying on your leg.

"Oh be quiet," he rolled his eyes and dusted himself off, "That was all you! You and your two left feet." The rest of the room was silent, regardless of the incident. All ears and eyes were on the 'love birds,' not entirely sure whether or not they should blame you both on what had just happened.

Sliding out from underneath him, you scoffed, "Don't speak so highly of yourself, Minho."

Minho cackled, "Highly? Of myself?!"

"Stop this instant!" Professor Na had finally mustered up the courage to intervene, anger bubbling in his stomach, "Enough!" The two professors began helping the students up, scolding both of you as they did.

"Five points deducted from your respective houses," Professor Shin said sharply, "And you both are now in charge of polishing the floor every Friday for the following three weeks."

"But professor–"

Minho was cut off, "That, or ten points off for your houses…" And without another word, you both chose to polish the floors after all classes were done for the day.

Day one of polishing the floors was practically the most difficult. Not only did the professors restrict using magic to finish the chore, but the overall idea of doing something alongside Minho aggravated you, which was why you hated dancing with him so much. The comments he'd make, the taunting looks he'd give you, the jokes that were obviously uncalled for, they all were honestly bringing you to the point of near insanity.

At first, both of you had decided to start off on the same side, almost the same corner. But the moment you noticed Minho constantly glancing your way in the corner of your eye, you decided against it, "How about I start at that end."

"Whatever floats your boat," he mumbles, "I don't care."

The tone in his voice hadn't matched yours, which you assumed was polite enough not to spark some type of that energy in him, but it did.

"Whatever," you make your way to the other end, sliding your robe off on the way. You let it hang off one of the benches, making sure it wasn't touching the floor. You rolled up your sleeves and started polishing the further end of the room, a bit relieved that Minho wasn't hovering anywhere within your line of sight. It was better that way.

The second day, you were hoping that you could get through a period of cleaning without hearing Minho's ungodly voice. He had been moving back and forth from one corner to the other, feet squeaking seemingly endlessly against the floor. You wished that the volume of the music could be turned up louder.

"I'm doing more than you are," Minho pointed out. You turned to find that he was standing in the middle of the room, hair messy and beads of sweat lining his hairline. His collar was out of place, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows just as yours were. Did he, for some reason, look attractive, or was it the lack of light in the room? Probably the latter.

"What do you mean you're doing more than I am?" you feel your eyebrows knit together in confusion, "I'm doing the same amount of work as you." And you were, but you were working just a bit slower than he was. He had probably sped through his area with the idea that the sooner you both finished, the sooner you were able to leave.

"Just hurry up," he groaned. Minho dragged his feet over to a lone stool, pushing it against the wall before plopping into it. The music continued to play, drowning out the shuffle noises of his feet.

"No," you replied, keeping your speed consistent. It wasn't like you wanted to stay longer. It was the fact that Minho couldn't leave until you were finished that was making you act this way. Maybe if he did his job well, he wouldn't be sitting around doing nothing.

Tile by tile, you continued to carry out the chore given to you, not paying mind to the pair of eyes that were burning holes into your back. You ensured that the areas you had worked on were basically spotless, reflection or not, you assumed that shiny meant clean.

Minho had been humming along to the somewhat catchy tune, foot tapping to pass the precious time he believed you were wasting. Nonetheless, he leaned back and sighed, hoping you could finish in time, so he had time to nap before dinner.

"Why do they even need classes for dancing?" He sighed out. At first, you weren't quite sure if he was speaking to you or if he was just thinking out loud, "I feel like we'd be fine either way…" You turn to look at him, seeing that he was already staring at you down.

"I mean it's going to look nice at the Yule Ball,"

You replied.

"Yeah but not everyone's going… it's a waste of time," Minho had a point, yet you still found it somewhat amusing that the school would want to organize such things.

"I don't see why you don't just skip class if you find it a waste of time," you moved onto another spot and sighed, "No one's stopping you."

"Yeah but who'd be your partner then?"

Not knowing how to react to his question, you keep quiet. Minho decided not to follow up on the problem, thinking that he had said something out of the ordinary.

The sun had reached the horizon when you finished your portion of the room. You stood up to stretch, hearing the joints of your knees and back pop out of exhaustion. It was satisfying to see the difference between the used, scruffy floor and the clean, polished floor.

"Okay Lee Minho I'm finished," without taking a glance at the boy, you made your way over to the record player. You lifted the needle off and picked the record up, slipping it into its sleeve. It didn't occur to you that Minho hadn't shifted in the past thirty minutes, silence filling the room because you turned the music off.

"Minho?" Finally turning to him, you found him sleeping with his head sat back against the wall. His mouth was wide open, practically becoming a makeshift trap for bugs that happened to be flying around. The rest of his body was limp, legs spread out beneath him. It was surprising that he hadn't fallen off yet.

You walked up to his sleeping figure and laughed lightly, wishing you had a camera to capture this moment. It would've been great blackmail. Maybe then he'd start being nice to you. Naturally, your eyes followed the slope of his nose, then to the two front teeth that stuck out from underneath his top lip.

He had bunny-like features, and you didn't mean that in a wrong way. His face was still sculpted nonetheless. Anyone with eyes would have to admit that he was attractive.

"Done staring at me yet?"

You screamed and jumped back, pressing your hand up to your chest as if to calm you down. Looking back at Minho, you find that his eyes were still closed, yet a smirk had replaced his gaping mouth. The number of curse words that threatened to leave your mouth was countless, the embarrassment creeping up to your cheeks. He finally lifted his head to look at you, eyes still a bit droopy from his nap.

"I-I wasn't staring at you," you denied, shaking your head a bit too aggressively, "Well I was… but because I was laughing at how foolish you just looked."

An offended look surfaced Minho's face, scowling at you as he stood, "I have this feeling that you're lying, bumblebee… Anyways, this is where I leave. Finally, after years." He shook his rolled-up sleeves so that the cuffs slid back to his wrists. You let him leave without another word from the two of you, still in a bit of shock at what just happened. You knew he was never going to let you forget that.

You slumped next to Felix as dinner was being served, an expression almost as heavy as your posture. He looked down at you, debating whether or not he should interrupt the mini montage you were probably playing through your head.

"I want to ask you how the cleaning today was but I think I already know just by looking at you," he stated, sliding a piece of roasted chicken your way, "Unless you do want to speak about it. Just eat and the day's over."

You gave him a grateful smile and gestured for him to eat too, eyes lighting up slightly, "I'm actually not tired from cleaning that stupid dance room, but it's just… this thing that happened. It was beyond embarrassing."

Felix snorts and stuffs his cheeks with food. His words came out muffled as he still chose to reply with a full mouth, "What happened this time?"

You glanced towards the Slytherin table, eyes scanning it quickly to get one quick look at Minho before you whispered, "Minho fell asleep waiting for me to finish cleaning. He looked idiotic as he did so I sorta just—how do I say this— stared at him? But it wasn't like I was admiring him, it was more like I didn't want that stupid look on his face to go away. It was amusing."

"And?"

"In the middle of that he went, 'are you done staring yet?' It was like he had a sixth sense or something," you muttered, "Now I feel like he's making fun of me."

"Doesn't he always make fun of you," Felix had yet again stuffed his mouth, so his words were still muffled, "Why does it matter this time?"

"It's different. It's not some useless situation… it was genuinely embarrassing," you poke the food before taking a bite of your own, "He's going to it against me, I already know."

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he'll forget it sooner than you will."

"Hey remember when I caught you staring at me?" Minho's voice echoed faintly throughout the room. He stood up to stretch before he crouched back down.

"I never stared at you," you sneered, "And why are you talking about that as if it happened years ago. That was literally last week."

"That's long enough in my book," he retorted, "Good times." A small reminiscing type smile appearing on his lips.

"Can you not start? I sorta want today to be stress-free and you're literally ruining it," you roll your eyes and move onto the next tile on your side. Minho had decided to choose a different record to play today, one the professors had never played in class. It had been hidden behind all the other records being used, and it took Minho a good five minutes to rake through all of them just to get to it.

The songs were more upbeat than the waltz music you were forced to listen to, which was actually much more perfect for cleaning to. It made it a bit more bearable than the last two times you had to clean.

Minho didn't reply, though you didn't see how he switched glances between you and the mechanical polisher in hand. The track had shifted into a faster song, something that was easy to dance to. From where he stood, he could see your knitted eyebrows, eyes dropping from the slight fatigue blanketing over you after a long school day.

Upon awareness that his shoulders were slumped, he straightened himself and sighed. This week had indeed been a long week, and it was evident in some way in both of you. This was the last of the week's labour before he could go and relax while mindlessly saving his homework for Sunday.

The music had been tempting to let go earlier than he should for the week, the steady beat and the catchy melody filling the room.

Putting the polisher and the rag down, he took a few steps towards you, still contemplating whether he should do what he was thinking or not. He was unsure whether it was bizarre for him to pull such a thing. But you did say you wanted a stress-free day, so he thought he should switch up a bit.

He started moving his body to the rhythm of the music, head bobbing as it took over him naturally. It was easier dancing alone than with a partner, that's for sure, but he wanted to invite you.

"Y/N!" He was freestyling, arms flailing and legs bringing him across the room with a swift movement.

You sighed, "What now?" Turning to Minho, you find him in the middle of the dance room, doing what the room was made for. He had a foreign smile on his face, not the usual smirk you'd find him sporting.

"What the–"

"Join me!"

You went through several different emotions in seconds, confusion, amusement, joy, contemplation… how were you supposed to react to a goofy Minho?

"Join me!" He repeated. This time he approached you, hands out in invitation, "C'mon it's fun!"

"Minho, we have to finish this so we can leave, remember?" You tried to keep a stern look on your face, yet you couldn't hold back the smile that had been forcing itself out. Minho suited this look; It was happier and carefree. You didn't know that his eyes would light up when he smiled a somewhat gummy smile.

"I know, but let's take a break," being the impatient boy he was, he took hold of your hands and pulled you up. He led you in a dance that probably wasn't considered a partner dance. He just pushed your arms back and forth like those scenes in the movies.

"Minho!" You finally let out a laugh, feet unable to keep up with his. He was sidestepping left, then sidestepping right, then back and forth, all unplanned. You stumbled, letting out joyful laughter that was rare around Minho. He laughed along with you, eyes disappearing the bigger his smile got.

When your legs had gotten worn out from constant movement, you tripped over one of them, sending you and your dance partner to the ground. Instead of erupting anger that would have usually washed over you, fits of laughter fell in its place, echoing throughout the room.

Before you could ask if he was okay, you hear footsteps enter the room, a confused Professor Shin staring the both of you down, "What are you two doing?! This is not polishing the floors!" The exasperation changed the normal hue of her skin into a shade of crimson.

Quickly apologizing, you get up and return to your so-called 'stations,' not being able to say another word about what had just happened to each other.

You wouldn't admit it out loud, not in front of Minho at least… but that was the most fun you've had in weeks.

Little did you know, Minho felt the same way.

v.

There was a part of you who had gotten used to Minho's horrible dancing after two weeks of dancing classes. After what happened last week, there was a tiny sliver of toleration that had surfaced from both of you. It was mutual. But obviously, neither of you were going to admit it.

Though Minho was starting to get somewhat bearable, there were still days when he'd begin to act up, smirk pinned tightly on his lips while he mischievously pranced about in the dance room. Today was one of those days.

When Professor had slipped the record onto the play, dropping the needle onto the very edge and starting it, Minho had chosen to let his body go heavy, relying on you to haul him around like a giant, weighted ragdoll. You knew he wasn't tired, just judging by the look in his eyes.

"Give it up," you tugged him roughly in one direction, then again towards another, feet hardly following the steps the class was taught the past few weeks. If Minho let his body grow just a bit limper than it already was, his head would have fallen directly onto your shoulder. If you were being honest, you didn't want any attention from anyone else in the room, "Lee Minho, I'm not in the mood for this today, okay?"

Minho's ears perked at the foreign tone that had slipped from your lips, sensing that you were being serious. You would tell him to quit it most days, but never with that tone; It was no fun if you weren't fighting back. Sighing quietly, he had picked his body up and started to follow the eight-count that Professor Shin was practically yelling out.

This minor change didn't go unnoticed by you, feeling his body grow lighter just moments after you'd ask him to quit it. Did he just…?

Other students in the room were surprised that you two were going more than thirty seconds without arguing like a married couple. Many sets of eyes didn't bother leaving the both of you, watching what would happen next in the twist of events.

Minho's feet carried his body swiftly; for the first time, he was guiding you like he was supposed to, but his eyes were glued to his feet, not wanting it to become weird if he were to make accidental eye contact with you. He didn't like how quiet it was between the both of you. The music didn't even do its purpose by filling the silence.

"Are you going to the Yule Ball?" Minho asked awkwardly. He twirled you as part of the dance. He recognized that look on your face which was basically a wordless reply, "That was probably a dumb question." Shaking his head, Minho mentally slapped himself. Never in his life did he fail with words.

"Of course I'm going," you replied rather expressionless, "Why would I not?" You were almost as confused as earlier. Minho trying to make a civilized conversation. Who the fuck was this? It wasn't Minho.

He shrugs, "I don't know… I guess you have a date…?" Minho, what the fuck. He squeezed his eyes shut as if the stone floor would swallow him wholly to take him away from this situation.

As puzzled as you were, you still decided to keep the conversation as it was, "Nope… I think I'm just going with Felix for fun." You tried to keep your tone calm when really you were freaking out. The only thing was you had no idea why you were freaking out, "Y-you?" Facepalm.

"No one."

None of you chose to speak after, not knowing where the conversation was going. The song was slowly reaching the end, which you had wished came sooner. Minho's hands were growing sweaty, and you wanted nothing more than to wipe your hand off. It was getting hot in the room too. Your collar was growing tight, throat itching for water.

Minho's heart was beating a bit too fast for his liking, but it was probably because he was growing tired from the moving. He wondered if you could feel how sweaty his hands were getting. Embarrassing.

"Final counts!" Professor Na called out before the static of the record player replaced the music. The two of the professors had clapped in adoration, overlooking all the students in the room.

Professor Shin had a broad smile on her face, "Beautiful! Gorgeous! Best one so far!" She twirled in place, "Thank you everyone! The Yule ball is in two weeks so I am very pleased with the effort you all are putting into this class! Remember we still have the final class in which you are graded, which I'm sure you all will ace."

"I couldn't care less," Minho mumbled, only so you could hear.

You turn to him, squinting your eyes and tilting your head to express your slight frustration, "You know I'm your partner right?"

"Oh no~ really?," he stuffed his hands into his pockets, "And?"

"And? I don't want to fail this class, even though I'm forced to dance with you," you stated, "So don't you fucking dare fail us both." That tone in your voice was evident once again, catching Minho off guard. The only reason that it had this effect on him was that he was so used to you choosing to fight back. It was like some sort of reminder that everyone around him was getting old, and soon all those around him were expected to be serious.

Nevertheless, Minho shrugs to annoy you, "Whatever."

Instead of answering, you eyed him once more. Your dancing just a few moments ago says otherwise.

You had practically sighed out the total capacity of your lungs as you hung onto Felix's arms on the way out the door.

"What are you sighing about?" He chuckled.

"You already know," you elbowed him.

Felix rolled his eyes and sang, "I saw you guys dancing earlier~."

You pushed him away gently, shock littering your face and posture, "What the bloody hell are you on about now, Lee?"

"You guys actually look cute together when you aren't babbling and all," he grinned innocently. Your heart had the audacity to skip a beat, startling you just as much as Felix did.

"Cute?" You scoffed, "First you said you think he liked me, now this? Are you his wingman or something? Are you trying to get me to like him?"

Felix skipped in his step, "I don't even talk to Minho, Y/N, don't be ridiculous… wait… did you basically just say you're starting to like him?" He gasped, hand slapping over his mouth, which had fallen in shock.

"No," you say flatly.

"Liar," Felix poked at your rib, "Liar. At least confess that you find him less bad."

"Sure, whatever makes you happy, Felix."

When you had fallen out of Felix's line of sight, you let the corner of your mouths turn up slightly. He said we looked cute, you think, only followed by you flicking yourself in the temple.

-

"I thought you were staying here until it closed?" you frown at Felix, who started gathering his stuff. You both had planned on cramming everything in for a test the next day, but plans didn't go as planned when Felix was eager to go back to the dormitories to sleep until the morning.

"My eyes are going to fall out of their sockets if I don't go and sleep, Y/N," he pats your head as if he were talking to a young child, "You can stay if you want. I know how much you hate studying in the common room." He double-checks his area to ensure he hadn't forgotten any of his belongings before patting your head once more. He grins and turns towards the door of the library, leaving you sitting alone at the table.

"Felix ~" You called out quietly, only for him to wave with his back facing you. You sighed and slumped back in your chair, resting your arms on the handles. Libraries were so much better when you had company.

The words in the textbook were starting to turn into blobs of ink, and for a second, you were thinking about following in Felix's footsteps. After moments of consideration, you shook your head and sat up. You'll stay, even if it was against the will of your fatigue self that had been prompting you to leave. This was all your fault anyway. Procrastination was a cruel thing.

Hunching forward, you let your eyes trace over the words, trying to process the information. You rewrote the info you wished to remember carelessly. Your notes resembled chicken scratch, but at this point, you didn't care because it was simply supplementary to your studying. The sun was close to its horizon, and the library was close to empty. It was somewhat more motivating.

Slowly the information had started to get more interesting. It was easier to run through the key terms and ideas listed in the textbook, and you could feel the exhaustion simply leaving your body. I'll finish this one last chapter and then save the rest for lunch tomorrow.

Your focus on the book had hindered your peripheral vision that the presence of another wizard floating over your shoulder went unnoticed. It was only until they had sat down next to you when you finally noticed.

You jumped in your seat, eyes growing wide. You had luckily suppressed your scream with your hand, which you had, out of defense, swung forward, slapping the person in the chest.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You don't sneak up on people like that, Minho," you rolled your eyes at the Slytherin, shifting away from him before turning your attention back towards the textbook. He scooches closer with intentions of irritating you, pushing his face towards your book, "What are you doing?"

You push him away and stick one of the thicker books between you both, "What does it look like?"

"Studying?"

"You're smarter than I thought, Lee Minho," sarcasm dripped from your voice as you glared at him. Attempting to continue with the final chapter, you miserably fail when Minho interrupts your concentration by tapping his fingers loudly against the wooden table.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" you say numbly, voice muffled by your robe, "I was literally just sitting here and you decide to do this."

Minho shrugs and uses his arms as a makeshift pillow, "I was bored, saw you, here I am, I'm here to stay."

Your eyebrows furrowed at the fact that Minho decided to 'spend time with you upon seeing you. You had no idea whether to feel flattered or irritated, but you knew you were confused. He could've just gone back to the Slytherin dungeons to sit with his housemates, but he saw you and decided to sit with you.

Staring blankly at the bookshelves across from you, you huffed out the corner of your mouth, blowing a stray strand of hair by your cheek. You did say you wanted company. You just weren't sure if it was Minho's company that you wanted. Glancing down briefly at him, and looked back up to the bookshelves.

"Fine," you say after pondering about the idea.

Minho's ears perked up, raising his brows, "Fine?"

"Just don't be loud."

Minho's head tilts in confusion, though he still complies, sitting next to you patiently. You continued to read through the final chapter, which you had underestimated in length. The chapter was a good half a centimetre in thickness. Though it didn't seem as much at first glance, the pages were practically dipped in ink, words covering it from one corner to the other.

You could feel your eyes grow heavy as you delve deeper into the chapter. Your bed was calling for you, but there was no way you were going to give. Not until this chapter was finished.

The library had been silent except for the occasional click of the pen from the librarian's desk. You had been mentally counting down the number of pages left to skim over, eager to feel that feeling of satisfaction you usually get once you finish a task. It was the same feeling as crossing or checking off a chore on a to-do list.

Minho had settled his eyes on the centre of your book, keeping them steady even as you flipped the pages. He felt the lids of eyes gradually get heavier as each page went by, and by the time you shut the book in delight, he had fallen asleep.

"Again?" You furrowed your eyebrows, remembering the last time he had fallen asleep in your presence. You darted your eyes away from his dormant figure, not making that same mistake twice, "Minho, wake up."

He stirs right away, head rising from his arms. This time he says nothing, pushing himself off of the library's chair before stumbling over his own feet as he makes his way to your side. He looked like a toddler, and it was admittedly adorable.

"Why didn't you just go straight to the dorms if you were tired," you snorted at his dumbassery. Some students still littered the halls even if curfew was nearing. Instead of parting from your side at the library's entrance, Minho stuck by your side.

"I wanted to spend time with you outside of class," he grumbles. He blinks at the long corridor in front of you two, eyes barely staying open from exhaustion.

Feeling your heart skip a beat, you tried to pick out if he was joking or not, but his tone screamed, 'I'm tired.' Any other emotion was hard to comb out, so you sighed and shook your head, pressing your lips into a smile, "Sleep that cheesiness off, Lee Minho."

Minho continued to walk next to you, silent and confused about what you just had said. It wasn't like he was drunk. He was well aware of what he just said. Nonetheless, he subtly walked you to the kitchen corridor, parting ways with you with an uttered 'goodbye.'

vi.

Sitting against the stone wall, you watched the rest of the class carry out the dance routine, formation changes and all. You ran through it with them, only mentally as your partner was nowhere to be found, and the class was halfway done.

There were barely any classes left before the final graded run through, and Minho really thought it'd be funny to skip? You would have let it pass if you guys weren't the worst duo in the room, but you guys are the worst duo in the room, which made the situation different.

"Professor Na," You asked quietly, "Has Lee Minho been excused from today's class. Is he ill?" You didn't want to jump to conclusions, keeping in mind that people did have their own reasons. Maybe he had caught a cold or was doing a missed exam that was far more important than dancing.

"No word from Minho, Y/N," the professor hummed back.

You frowned and thanked him, turning back to the main dance floor, students moving in sync. Where was he?

Just as you had finished your train of thought, the door had swung open just like it probably did on the first day of class. Minho stumbled in, hair a mess and a rather sheepish smile stamped on his lips.

"I apologize Professors," he bowed deeply, following the perimeter of the room. He bowed again as he reached the two instructors at the front of the room.

Professor Shin stopped her counting, "No need to apologize to us, apologize to your partner." She gestured towards you, already looking back. Minho nodded and approached you, though when he did reach you, he didn't apologize.

"And?"

"And what?" Minho ridiculed.

"Aren't you going to apologize like what the Professor asked?" You tried not to laugh at how Minho had been acting.

Minho let out a cackle, “No? Why should I? Can you stand up so we can start dancing or something?" His hand was itching to reach out for yours, feeling like he should pull you towards him, but he hindered himself from doing so, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Instead of pushing the apology out of him, you decided against it, not wanting to waste any of your time, "Why are you even late?"

The two of you followed the crowd, joining in at the perfect time. Minho smirked, "Worried about me or something? I know I'm in your head twenty-four seven, but I didn't expect you to be so obvious about it."

Tightening your grip around his hand, you gritted your teeth, "I wasn't worried about you, nitwit."

"Then why are you asking?"

"Because you made me sit, doing nothing for nearly forty-five minutes?" You reply as if you were pointing out the obvious, "So why are you late and coming to class looking like a mountain troll?"

"Wow, ouch," he sighed, "I slept in. Am I going to hell for doing so? Because I can recall you did the same the first day and got us into this mess."

"This is about you, not me," you applied pressure onto his hands, causing him to stumble back slightly, ruining the rhythm he had built up. He furrowed his brows at you and did the same, only you were somehow ready for it.

"Oh please," Minho rolls his eyes, "You've done the same so you shouldn't even be mad at me."

"I'm only frustrated, not mad, there's a difference," you point out, "And I'm frustrated because we have that graded dance next week. If we fail, it's going to be your fault."

"It takes two to tango," he quoted, "And you already know where I stand on that. I don't ca-"

"Shut up, the professors are looking," you warned, flashbacks to the three weeks you had to polish the floors.

Minho laughed slightly, letting air blow out of his nose. He let his eyes drift down at you, keeping them there for a little too long.

"What?"

"Nothing," he shrugged, spinning you along with the other students, "You just looked way too terrified." The next move had the two of you closer than the initial space between you.

"I don't want to be spending an extra three hours with you after classes polishing the floor," you retort sharply. Instead of holding eye contact with him, you stared at the Slytherin crest on his uniform.

"I know you liked spending time with me, don't lie," he rolled his eyes teasingly.

"I'm not lying."

"You staring at me says otherwise."

"Oh hush about that already, I literally told you that I wasn't staring at you," Inwardly cringing, you felt relief once the music had stopped. You stepped back and eyed down the boy in front of you, "Why do keep bringing that up?"

Before Minho could give reasoning, Professor Na had spoken up from across the room, reminding everyone that the next class was the graded class. Though they wouldn't be strict with grading, he still wanted to see the students' effort 'flowing'. After a chorus of groans, class ended, allowing you to avoid Minho and find your way to Felix.

-

Someone tapping your shoulder had woken you up, head jolting up as if you were frightened.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Chaeryeong gasped sheepishly. She was hovering over you slightly, eyes wide. She was changed into her nightwear.

You sat up, only now realizing you had fallen asleep in the common room, "It's alright. What time is it?" You didn't even remember how you fell asleep, but you sure did have a good sleep.

"It's almost midnight," she replied, "I needed to grab water from the kitchen, then I saw you here and figured it'd be more comfortable for you to go to sleep in your own bed rather than this tiny couch."

You grinned, "Thanks Chae… I'll probably get something from the kitchen as well."

She nods and mumbles out a quick goodnight before disappearing to the girls' dorms. You return her farewell before standing up, eyes drawn to the wrinkles your nap had made on your robe. Attempting to straighten the robe and yourself out, you stumbled towards the Hufflepuff house entrance, exiting promptly.

The fireplace had been lit, a few house elves roaming about and carrying out their own duties. They paid no mind to you, as midnight snacks weren't out of the ordinary for Hufflepuffs.

You asked for what you needed, then was given it with no delay, "Thank you." The house elf nods before turning away with a grunt.

You sit at one of the tables, zoning out as you stared at the blazing fire across from you. School was getting a bit more stressful than it usually has, which was probably the reason why you had fallen asleep without knowing. You remember coming back from a long library visit. Maybe you collapsed on the couch once you did.

You made mental notes on the work still yet to be done before the following week, spontaneously creating a headache. Standing up, you figured it was best for you to go back to sleep. Slipping the dish into the sink, you started making your way back to the dorms.

You rubbed your temples and shook your head as you closed your eyes. It probably hadn't been a good idea to be wandering with your eyes closed as you had immediately bumped into something firm.

"Y/N?"

Looking up, you came face to face with Lee Minho, who was just as shocked as you were. He had been dressed down in a knitted Slytherin sweater and pyjama pants.

"Minho? What in the world?"

He backs up after noticing how close you were to each other, "Could say the same 'bout you."

"My dorms are right there," you point just down the corridor, "While yours is in the dungeon…"

Minho blinks before he tries to move around you, eyes avoiding yours.

"What are you doing here?" you grab his wrist, eager to find out why he was roaming the halls. It wasn't unusual for students to be breaking the rules, especially Minho, who loved living up to the stereotypes of a Slytherin. He smirks at the skinship, which prompts you to let go of him, heat rising up to your cheeks without warning. You're suddenly glad it's dim around the two of you.

"I was… taking a walk," he successfully pushes past you and into the kitchen, a glass of water already there for him. He thanks the house elf, leaving the glass, before turning back to you. By the looks of it, it seems like he's been doing this before, like a routine.

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed, "Taking a walk? You're painfully awful at lying." And the pause in his speaking gave that away. You followed behind him, expecting an honest answer as if you deserved to know.

"Weren't you just leaving?"

"But my question is unanswered," you shrugged.

"I answered you, I was taking a walk," he pushed the answer. Putting the cup down, he turned to you, "I have… sleeping problems."

"You just lied again," you nonchalantly, "Just tell me the truth. No judgment. A Hufflepuff's promise." You weren't usually one to push an answer out of someone, but this situation was different.

"You say no judgment but I already know how you're going to react to the truth," he takes another sip of water.

"So you were lying!" You raised your brows, "I knew it!"

"You don't deserve the truth," he sighs. Finishing the cup of water, he starts to make his way out, not even turning to look back.

"Lee Minho!" You groaned. Maybe it was your fatigue self or the fact this felt like some sort of game, but you weren't holding yourself back, "When I said I wouldn't judge, I won't. My mind's open to whatever you're going to say."

Minho spins around to face you, stumbling backward a few more steps before he halts, "I was practicing the dance steps."

No judgment.

The flat expression on Minho's face indicated that he had no intentions of lying this time. He had his hands hiding behind his back, eyeing you just to see if you would live up to your promise. Instead of his expected reaction, he finds you smiling, something he'd only see when you were around your friends.

"Wipe that smile off of your face, bumblebee," he mutters.

"Didn't you say you didn't care about that class?" you quoted, a smirk slowly replacing your smile, "Why are you practicing the steps?"

Minho licked his lips. He was at a loss of words, nothing but the truth occupying his mind… Why the hell not?

"Because you care."

You blinked back at him, lips parting and meeting several times as you tried to find the right words to say. The silence was deafening. "What?"

"Because you care," Minho repeated. He kept his expression still, eyeing you, trying to figure out how you were taking this in.

How would he further explain it? He didn't know. All he knew was that ever since that specific moment between the both of you the other day, he took it upon himself to better his partner dancing. He didn't want anyone else knowing, not you, and especially not his housemates, which was why he chose to stay up late to do this; it was the real reason why he had shown up late to class.

You weren't sure if it was because it was quiet, but you could easily hear your heartbeat as it quickened. You try to cover up the fact that you wanted to freak out, "I don't know whether I should laugh or–"

"Yeah, whatever, shouldn't have told you in the first place," he mumbles. For some reason, he felt his heart lub-dub in a way that it shouldn't. He frowned and sighed, "Just forget it."

"Wait, Minho," you call quietly. He stopped in his tracks and turned, partially facing the wall and facing you. He stared back at you with a vacant look, waiting for you to say something. If you weren't going to be saying something nice, he didn't want to hear it after exposing himself like that.

"'Because you care?'" you frowned, "You can't just say that and leave." You already made up a possible answer to the countless questions through your mind, but it was still unclear whether or not that was it.

"What else do you want me to say?" Minho stuffs his hands into his pockets.

"I just want you to explain it," you reply quietly.

Minho glanced out the window sitting by you both before sitting down on its pane, "Remember that other day… when I told you I didn't care?" You nod and move closer to where he sat, unsure whether or not you should sit next to him or not, "I don't know… you were really serious back then… I guess I wasn't used to that. So I figured…"

There was a quick moment of silence before he huffs, almost sounding defeated.

"Did you know that I genuinely don't dislike you as much as you think I do?" He says out of the blue, throwing you off. You wanted to tell him to sleep it off again—why did moments like this always happen at night?

"I don't either," you say back, "At first I did… but I matured."

"I only ever argued with you out of amusement. You're the only person outside of Slytherin that could out-talk me and it bothered me for some reason," he laughed as if he recalled a memory.

"Me intimidating a Slytherin? Just wait til the others hear about this," you joke. He glanced towards your direction and saw a clever glint in your eye.

"Don't you dare," he holds back a smile before standing up to face you directly, "Or…"

"Or what?" You challenged, "Imagine how Seungmin would react! Donghyuck and Renjun? What about Yeosang and Wooyoung?" You start listing the other well-known Slytherins off of the top of your head, holding back a laugh as you watch Minho's face crumble into an expression that looks far too close to fear.

Minho recollects himself and shakes some sense into himself, "Or I'll make you go to the Yule Ball with me." He hadn't planned on asking you today, but the timing was perfect. It fit with the situation. If you were to react unfavourably, then he could just joke about it.

His question shut you up. Your eyes widened at him as you processed what he had used as a threat, "What if I want to go to the Yule Ball with you?"

Minho takes a step towards you, a smirk appearing on his lips. His confidence was skyrocketing, and you can tell, "Then I guess it's a date?"

Rolling your eyes, you let a smile grace softly onto your lips, nodding, "It's a date."

Bonus:

"I told you to wear something with gold," you whined jokingly as you were greeted with Minho, who had completely dodged your request. Instead of the black and gold look you were going for, he decided to wear a black suit that had traces of emerald. As much you wanted to match with your date, you had to admit that he still looked as handsome as ever in the attire. He looked like a prince.

"And look like a Hufflepuff? No thanks," he scoffed teasingly. He pulls out a corsage, one that matches the clothes he wore, tying it gently around your wrist, "You look very beautiful."

"Well, you look very handsome."

Minho laughed as he sticks out his forearm, a brow raised in your direction. Music being played by the live band had been spilling out of the ballroom; the voices of everyone attending gave the ball more life. It was exciting.

"Minho!" Seungmin had called. Felix, who had slipped from your side the moment Minho approached you, was standing by Seungmin, smiling brightly. He had been hyping you up the entire night, telling you that there should be nothing to worry about.

He was right.

"Shall we?" Minho asked. It was cheesy, but it worked.

"We shall."

Hope you enjoyed it! A like would be appreciated <3