#welp am I gonna get banned

[meloncr0umbs]

More dumps

This time w Metal Bat & Garou huehue

Commissioned arts from FB⚠️

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

got any more empath reader?

Only because there's rampant plot bunnies for it in my brain. I have an abundance of much more polite asks.

"You okay?" Dick asked, careful not to touch you as he got close enough to speak in your ear- to be heard above the din. You were drowning in an oversized hoodie and that usually meant "Do not. I am not real today."

You half shrug and give him a wan smile, "About as okay as it gets after a blow out."

"It was a good one, huh." He rubbed the back of his neck and leaned against the wall. You exuded calm he knew you didn't feel. And it was nice. He felt better, and he appreciated it. That benefit of your odd little empathic quirk.

Bruce had banned you from doing it to the WHOLE manor all at once, but, it was a little difficult for him to stop you from doing it in your immediate vicinity.

"What was Jason like before?" you ask, tucking your knees up under your hoodie and wrapping your arms around yourself. There's no judgement in the question, just curiosity. From someone else that had felt a part of themself die on a filthy floor.

"Annoyingly cheerful," Dick snorted. "Tough though. Street smart. Idealistic and brave to a fault. It's like he was made in a lab to be Robin. I got the job by Tragedy. Jason got the job because Bruce- well frankly I think Bruce was lonely and saw a scrappy kid who stole his tires and just went 'welp guess I'm a dad again'. And we all know Tim just bullied his way in." He broke off and shook his head. "He didn't really mean what he said about-"

"You and Steph call me a Science experiment all the time," you point out.

"Yeah," Dick admitted, wincing. "But it didn't go wrong. What they did to you was wrong. They way they did it was wrong. What you can do is cool as shit... You're not a walking Xanax. That's not what we keep you around for."

When you don't look at him, nodding silently, he wonders what you're picking up. How deep you can dig through a person for their buried feelings. And exactly what it COSTS to know that information all the time. "I think I'm gonna go on a walk for a while."

" 'Kay," Dick said easily, "Planning on comin' back for dinner?" Rambles were good. And not uncommon. They gave you time to clear your head.

"I'm not sure," you admit, "but I should be back before dark."

Dick nodded, "I'll tell Bruce. I don't think he wants you on Patrol for any particular reason. You're probably just on stand by." With any luck, Dick thought, they'd never put you with Jason. That would be catastrophic.

[darkicedragon]

My current and constant reaction to the new chapter in AFK Journey is: I am going to fight the entire country to protect these orphans!!!

Awww, that's reall-

I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!

I'll kick your ass too!

Literal bears! Yes!! Man, I've freaking loving all these-

You DID WHAT!!! I'M DROP KICKING YOU INTO THE OCEAN!!

An enemy of course! I'm gonna fight you!!!

....Okay, he was brought up well. 😭

Got to see who the famed Brutus is!!

He's a hero I already have.

Again.

I just never use him ahaha. 😅

Awwwww, look at them! All happy and complimenting!

...Brutus just needs to fall on top of them and they'll be flattened.

He was fighting buddies with Pops! >800

HE CALLS THEM KIDDOS. YES YES YES!!!

The difference in how I reacted to Ashen Wastes vs Remnant Peaks is HILARIOUS, but yeah, found family is my trope.

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, OH MY GOD.

So. I already opened the passage behind them since I was wandering around so much, ahahaha.

WELP! TIME TO FIGHT THE BIOLOGICAL PARENTS!!

I mean, he's very hairless compared to the others!

I DO THOUGH!!

HE'S GONNA DO WHAT HE CAN TO PROTECT HIS CLAN AND LASKJDFLAS;DKF I LOVE HIM.

Is punishment like. Banned from fighting or training for a week?

Excuse me?? Who said he was returning??

................okay I might stay.

AAAAAAAAAAAH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! YES!!! HE'S GOT HIS OWN FAMILY. THEY'RE THE ONES WHO RAISED HIM AND WHO HE PROTECTS, NOT PEOPLE WHO JUST SHOWED UP BECAUSE HE FOUGHT WELL!!!!

OOOOOOOOOOOOHOHOHOH. EAT SHIT.

Got attacked afterwards because we injured the Chief. Excuse you, if he's weak enough to get injured that's on him.

Also?

COME AT ME! I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON!!!

EAT THE POWER OF PROCRASTINATION AND FOUND FAMILY!

I'll kick your ass too like I did with the rest of your clan!

Exactly!

Fight happy dumbasses and I love them, ahahah.

Time to kick your ass too!

....Well, at least the fake is being true to me and being a monsterfucker. o3ob Well done.

[memberment]

Good evening

Guys I just got home from work and proofread everything I needed to including this next Dandelion chapter and I'm trying so hard not to just fucking SOB over it.

I hate it here I want out LMFAOOOOOOO THIS IS SO SAD WHY DID I WRITE THIS FR

10:59 update......

I'm thinking about an absolutely diabolical twist for the Trin series(it doesn't actually change the story in any way, if anything it actually makes it make so much more sense). Like, I've been ruminating on it since last night but idk if it's gonna throw people off. But at the same time like part twos and threes never do as good anyways so do I really even care?? Like, I'm just out here telling stories in fanfic font bc I would rather throw myself in the street than make OCs and not share my fun little stories.

I think I may commit to it.

I don't wanna say it on here though bc it's one of those plot twists you get will not forget even though part three is like FOREVER out.

The more I think about it the more I wanna do it. Someone tell me I should do it.

Oh my god I am shutting up and finishing reading Dandelion, y'all will hear my virtual screams in approximately one and a half business hours.

(11:43) I'm actually fucking sobbing and I didn't even start the last few chapters. Like, I'm actually crying over this. It's not funny.

(12:00) Never by mag lo coming on while I'm finishing up reading this is not funny. I'm devastated. I hope you all hate me after this oh my god I feel like I just ruined my own life. WHY IS IT SO MUCH WORSE AFTER BEING DONE WITH THIS FIC FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS. Jesus Christ. Yeah. No more angst from me for a long while. I'm banned.

(12:20) Me skimming through tags on fics debating if I want to pick up something new. Everything being totally normal. Suh happy. Trying not to stew in my own misery. And then I see such a vile tag my stomach twists and now I'm just like okay I'll go fuck myself I guess I'll go write or do my homework. I'm sorry, I adore ao3 and I'm never gonna be a hater, BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE WILD. LIKE I AM TALKING SO BAD I'M ACTUALLY CONSIDERING DOING MY HOMEWORK OVER THAT. LIKE I ACTUALLY JUST WIPED THE TEARS OFF MY FACE AND GOT OVER HOW SAD I WAS BECAUSE OF HOW GENUINELY SHOCKED I WAS. Like wow oh wow.

Anyways. Updates here if there's gonna be any. Also Dandelions up if anyones reading this LMAO

It's 1:40 in the morning and the beginning of Morning Glory is making me fucking unwell. I was not joking when I made that joke about like ten dreaded weeks of angst, Jesus Christ.

(2:12) This is my second time posting this exact part. Like I know I've posted this exact part. But I seriously love Christophe and all of his dialogue with my whole heart.

(4:31) I do not recall making Dova this tragic and I'm literally about to sob over him. LIKE WHY???? WHY DID I DO THAT??? WHY ARE HIS LITTLE SUBTLE BITS OF STORYLINE SO ACTUALLY PAINFUL AS THE STORY GOES ON????? (I am allergic to happiness I am my own canon event at this point)

(4:48) THE ABSOLUTE DEVASTATION THAT COMES WITH WANTING MORE STORY BUT IT SIMPLY NOT EXISTING BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT IS DEVASTATING.

(5:02) Welp. I'm ruined and am now compelled by god to start working on Morning Glory again. We're at 73k rn. And only two chapters that aren't the prologue are under 4k. That's fucking terrifying. Like I have 17 minus the prologue rn. WE ARE LITERALLY THREE CHAPTERS AWAY FROM THE FOURTH OF JULY. THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER 16/17 OF SUMMER ALONE. AND THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT LEAST ANOTHER 14 AFTER THAT. LIKE THE 14 ARE THE PLANNED SPECIFIC EVENT CHAPTERS. BRUH. WHY DID I DO THIS????

regret.

regret is all I feel.

but I will push through.

(7:38) before I go to bed I will just say I am at 75.3k. I had no idea how I would even get close to 4k on a birthday chapter where the group effectively decided to just stay home and hang out. But now there is like 1.5k of them playing muffin time. It's wild. I love it. GOOD NIGHT.

[sidecharactersdomatter]

Thoughts I had during TGCF S1 Ep 9

-Previously on TGCF…

-He’s gonna jump into the pit, he’s jumping into the pit, he jumped into the pit! (My quick recap of the previous Ep, also slight Flushed Away reference if you squint)

-Wait, one of the Ban Yue soldiers put Tian Sheng down while watching San Lang seemingly sacrifice himself into the pit

-Welp this confirms Xie Lian is pretty ride or die

-Kemo caught him

-Xie Lian’s like: Well I am going down there, but I won’t go down alone!

-Thanks Ruoye

-She’s awake

-She freed herself

-There go the Ban Yue soldiers

-Dang Kemo is strong

-Well Xie Lian wasn’t wrong

-The pit’s entrance is sealed!

-*Gasps!*  This scene people!

-Trust fall!  TRUST FALL!  (I told you it was gonna happen in this ep, told ya~!)

-Yes he caught his man

-Is that the same guy from Mt. Yujun?

-Oh San Lang is so secretly touch starved people!  I am weak in the knees!

-Xie Lian: Thank goodness.  Alright, put me down.  San Lang: No.  Valid San Lang *nods and smiles*

-Oooh he brought him in closer!!!! AAAAAHHH!!!

-He touched his throat!

-So many dead Ban Yue people

-There’s your answer Xie Lian

-So much blood

-Ooooh Dance fight!  Dance fight!

-You go San Lang respectfully manhandle Xie Lian like a boss!

-Oooh right in Kemo’s face

-Yeah San Lang would totally carry him all day

-Hi E Ming  (I’ve seen the first three episodes of Season 2, remember)

-E Ming:  I’ll handle him master, go support your man!

-More dance fighting!

-Woah how was San Lang able to do all of that???

-Woah Woah wait Xie Lian, you’re just gonna excuse the mass murder San Lang committed in the pit?????

-He’s asking if you know he’s a ghost, man

-Woah Xie Lian has good standards people, and he respects boundaries

-And now Xie Lian helps out in the fight

-There’s a way out of the pit???

-Let me just find somewhere that isn’t covered in blood

-Oh yeah you’re grateful for San Lang carrying you

-There’s San Lang

-Oooh he stopped him from falling again!

-Thank you San Lang

-San Lang’s so protective

-Yeah the murdering part was all San Lang man

-The faces they made when he called them out for jumping into the pit XD Xie Lian’s eyes are wide and blank while San Lan has a cat face! XDXDXDXDXD

-The noise that’s made when their faces returned to normal XD

-Oooh that’s a good bargain

-Oh backstory on the Ban Yue perceptor

-Real parent of the year award

-Her poor mother did not deserve it

-They really do look like they’re from an ancient Islamic time

-We never get to see any other spells the state perceptor uses other than those violet slashes and the scorpion tailed cobras

-Aww Kemo had sympathy for her

-I think that made it worse

-Uh oh!  A cave in and a sandstorm!

-She saved them

-That explains a lot

-Oh she looks so sad as an imperial perceptor

-That sounds bad

-That explains the betrayal

-She came down!

Episode 9 lowkey fed us Capiche?  3 Eps left to react to!

[cutekittenlady]

Tumblr Plays Pokemon White 2 - Part 6

~~~~ Three hours of running, screaming, ball throwing, and A LOT of crying later ~~~~

How am I STILL NOT DONE?!

I have been at this for HOURS!

ugh

UGH

Screw it. I've done enough for the Professor to at least think I'm trying.

Hopefully Hugh will buy that I was just "tearfully saying goodbye to mom" or something like that.

Nearly out of pokeballs too. I am going to take the longest nap on that boart right to Castelia. I am not even kidding.

Aww Roxie saw her dads shitty movie and thought it was 'good'. Sure thing Roxie. Sure.

Still its sweet she supports him. Keep working at it Pop Roxie. You'll get there someday!

Oh Hugh have you, uh, been waiting here this whole time? Sorry my, uh, business took... three hours... My mom uh wouldnt stop crying about her baby girl leaving and it was all touching and...

Aaaaand your not buying any of this?

Okay look man, I gotta level with you. The last three hours have been a hell of pokemon catching. It had to be done! I completely blanked on it before and this whole "fill the pokedex" thing is kinda my excuse to leave home. I really don't think my mom would accept "help my best friend exact his revenge on the remnants of a terrorist organization" as a proper reason for traveling. I jumped at the chance they gave me! It's not my fault it came with strings attached!

Hey.

I know how to cheer you up.

You want a Pidove? I caught a pidove. No tradsies. Just free gift pokemon. Yeah you want a pidove.

Sooo we cool?

Thats the spirit buddy!

Pop Roxie! Hoist the anchor, raise the sail, swab the poop deck! Cause we're leaving on a quest!

I knew I liked the cut of your jib Pop Roxie!

Alrighty Hugh lets get going! NOthings gonna stop us now!

BLEEEEEEEHHHHH

Sorry about your shoes POP Roxie. I swear I didn't know I got seasick.

Yeah might be kinda hard finding a handful of weirdos in funky hats in a city this big. Do you have a plan?

.... Thats not a plan Hugh. Look for now lets just... split up yeah? I'm tired. I'll go find us a hotel or a bench in the pokemon center to sleep on or something. Give me your Xtranceiver number, I'll call you when I find something. Call me if something happens yeah?

Yeah well chances are we're gonna be splitting up a lot more after this. I still gotta catch enough pokemon to make mom and the professor think this is just a nice PG adventure. Besides, after Cheren and Roxie I think I have a taste for this whole pokemon battling thing.

With that Hugh gives a passing comment about the weird looking ship on the dock next to us and take off. Welp I'm in the big city by myself for the very first time.

And I'm exhausted. Gotta see if I can find a place to rest. So I stride into the city.

And a random clown gives me a bicycle. And ask me to do a relay. At midnight.

I've been in this city a handful of minutes and already this palce is nuts. I mean I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to ride a bike again. Pretty sure that ten year ban for running over that lillipup is up.

Whatever. Questions for later.

Couldn't find a hotel anywhere. I'll send Hugh a message and sleep at the Pokemon Center tonight.

~~~ Hugh didn't come to the Pokemon Center tonight.

That not... concerning. I'm not concerned.

Wandered around the city doing some sight seeing. Not looking for hugh. Just sightseeing. Got the last casteliacone, visited a gallery, had a stranger come out from behind a dumpster and give me the tm for flash.

Interesting city.

Still since I can't seem to find Hugh guess I better go to the gym. Think I saw in a brochure that Castelia Cities gym is a bug type gym. If thats true Molly will probably wind up torching the place heh.

Welp guess I might as well head over. Before I leave the pokemon Center though I sell a few of the items I found around Virbank that I dont need, mostly X attack and stuff, and buy more great balls. My attempts at filling out the dex as much as I could before used up a lot of the balls I had.

I'm gonna need to fight some trainers for money soon or something. That acting stint I did was fun but did NOT pay anything. I've still got supplies, but I don't think I'm going to be doing a lot of filling out the dex until I can get more money for more balls and stuff. I mean I still have like 5 great balls, that ultra ball that neighbor in Aspertia gave, plus the heal ball and net ball I bought but thats about it.

Plus I'm down to, like $4.26. Thats not enough for lunch much less, like, 20 pokeballs.

Definitely hitting the gym. Roxie forked over quite a lot from beating her, so this Burgh guy I heard about will probably do the same. Bare minimum I'll be able to get some more Lemonades.

Aight Molly lets go get that money!

With my money?! I mean I havent beaten him yet, sure, but its basically an inevitability here! Where did he go?!

Then this purple haired girl walks up. Apparently she and Clyde know each other? Apparently she's looking for Burgh too. Evidently this Burgh guy is the flighty sort who wanders out of his gym, like, all the time.

Yeesh, Cheren might've been a newbie and Roxie mightve been rocking out too hard to hear me, but at least they were AT their gyms. I though gym leaders had to be at their gyms at all times. Yknow like a 9-5 type deal. Is it NOT a 9-5 type deal?

Wait.... do you guys not get paid?!

Oh sure NOW you notice me.

I... How did you.... how could you.... How did you KNOW about that?!

Yeah well tell that to the weirdos back in Virbank.

..... By giving me money?

Oh oh no you meant hunting down Team Plasma. Hnngh well... If the gym leaders not here anyway... and considering that might be where Hugh went (who I haven't seen since last night)... Sure why not.

Iris mutters something about thinking where they might've gone and then just takes off too fast for me to follow! Thankfully Burgh knows this town beter than me. He said she went around the corner towards the Pokemon Center. Guess thats as good a place to start as any.

Now might also be a good time to break out that bike that clown gave me last night. Not that I'm in a hurry or nothing.

Thankfully the saying about never forgetting how to ride a bike turns out to be true and I easily catch up to Iris. She tells me we're heading for Thumb Pier. She suspects theyre probably hanging around there.

Why she suspects that I dunno. In fact I'm not even certain who this girl is. Oh well, its the only lead I've found so peddling feet dont fail me now.

As it turns out Thumb Pier is 'suspicious' because its where you enter... the sewers. She wants us... to go into... the sewers.

I mean... I guess if a terrorist organization was gonna hide out in a big place like Castelia after a failed coup the sewers isn't the weirdest place to hide out but...

GAH Hugh! Don't sneak up on me like that! More importantly where the hell have you been?! And gods no I haven't found any members of team plasma yet. Though I think Iris here might have a lead...

Wait.

Is THAT where've you been all night?!

NO NO NO

Dodging questions is for strange old men who jump off cliffs and run shady movie lots. NOT from supposed BFFs hunting terrorists together!

ARE YOU IGNORING ME?!

That's what I'm trying to do! Look man you can't just disappear all night and then suddenly- Hugh! Hugh you get your edgy anime hair ass back here!

Sonnova

NOT NOW IRIS!

[duckapus]

The Carnival of Chaos, Part 1

When Floyd finds out that the SMG4 Universe’s version of Magolor has set up a carnival in the Mushroom Kingdom, she decides to go with her local friends and check it out. Thing is, kids aren’t allowed in without adult supervision, and…

“Alright, let’s recap,” she points at Lil Coding, “Your dads can’t take us because they’re dealing with a problem in the Internet Graveyard.”

“Yeah, from what they told me it’s not so much difficult as just long and tedious, so they didn’t need my help.”

Bowser Jr. cuts in, “Papa and the bros are at Nintendo HQ working on that new game that got announced. Wonder how that’s going…”

~Here we cut to Nintendo HQ, where the bros are both high as fuck on Wonder Flowers, Yoshi is handcuffed to his parole officer, Daisy and Bowser are failing to teach Wigglers how to roller skate, those weird flute flowers won’t shut up, and Peach is an elephant.

“I want to die.”~

“...Eh, I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

“Right. Then Cody’s mom is at work, and so are Saiko, Shroomy and Meggy; Tari and Melony are doing a collab stream; Boopkins and Desmond aren’t adults; Joe’s too big; who knows what Steve, Kaizo and the rest of the side characters are doing; I am not desperate enough to ask the Guards, and Eggman is…how’d you put it Sage?”

“Due to his extensive and ongoing list of crimes against humanity, Father is banned from most public spaces, and would likely take over the carnival and turn it into a base for a new campaign of world domination.”

“Yeah, that.” The gathered kids(Floyd, Lil Coding, Lily, Cody[who for the sake of this I’m imagining is one of Karen’s kids], Bowser Jr., Sage, Jubjub and Franky) all sigh despondently, “Welp, we’re fresh out of responsible adults.”

Lily perks up at this, “So how about an irresponsible adult.”

“...I’m listening…”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hell yeah I’ll come with you guys!”

Lily grins up at Bob, “Really? That’s great!”

“No problem. Actually I was gonna head over there at some point anyway.”

“How come?”

“Come on, some guy sets up a con that big on my turf? I gotta scope out the competition, you know?”

Cody seems confused by that, “But…wouldn’t a carnival be good for hotel sales?”

BJ shakes his head, “No, no, I get it. It’s ‘cause whatever smaller schemes Magolor funds with his carnival might compete with Bob’s smaller schemes, so Bob’s gotta see how he operates and make sure he knows there’s already an artist running things here.”

“...How do you know that?”

“My Papa used to be a big name villain, remember? This is basically that on a smaller scale.”

Floyd just shrugged, “Eh, If it gets us in I’ll take it.”

And with that they’re off. Little do they know what dangers await them in Magolor’s Carnival of Chaos…

[keeganmantle]

Good morning people of Tumblr. I am gonna ignore anything that creepy girl is doing. And I'm just gonna ignore everything because it's been 2 months and I wanna move on and if you're still here bragging about it and trying to profit off of it you got mental health issues for all I think.😒

I blocked, flagged, and reported that shipping creep, and of course, I blocked you know who so I don't really give a crap just move on. Next time if some creep shows up again, which hopefully no more creeps at this point, I'm just gonna block you, report you, and ignore you for the rest of my life. I ain't got time for you idiots. Of course I'll still expose you just so people can help me out getting your blog banned. But yeah, leave me alone. You don't know me. That goes to other people. Leave people alone. You crazy people. I'm very disappointed in what Tumblr has to offer right now when it comes to random people like, jeez guys. Can this happen? Who does this crap? Anyway, I would still want that blog reported like crazy so it can be terminated. You have no right to ship real people. Doesn't that count as harassment? Why are you people so freaking weird?! You know what I mean. Welp, thanks for the support guys. Thanks for helping me feel safe on Tumblr again. I don't care what that guy's problem was with me. He's just a lunatic. I don't give a crap. And that girl has some major issues shipping real people. It's very uncomfortable and I feel violated. What is wrong with you internet? Just screw off! You're only making things worse for yourselves. Don't screw with me. You don't know who you're messing with. I did warn you. But yeah, I'm just blocking and reporting you weirdos at this point. As I have been doing.😏

Well as always, thanks for helping me out guys. Thanks for protecting me from those internet creeps. And just remember you lousy internet creeps, if you ever try to troll me or do something extremely stupid and creepy, just know how I feel. Look at the gif for example...😐😁

Don't screw with me. I'm not playing games. I know what you're doing. Screw off. Or else.😐

[randomartzy]

UMH-

Am I crazy?? YES!! (IF Y'ALL DIDNT KNOW WHAT I MEAN I WILL TRANSLATE IT!!-)

IS MY TIKTOK ACC GONNA GET SHADOW BANNED?!😭😭😭 (yes I am Falerie_AUz11-)

So.. here's the story

I was scroll some video on tiktok then I found that video about haram pig and dating tho and then I type "Good thing I am Christian😔" ("Untung kristen😔") I was used it as joke tho lol.. but..

AAAA MY NOTIFICATION- I'M FINE RN GWENCHANAA- idk if they think I was joking but yk what they say "Lets make u be in muslim" ("Ashadu" or "Mau ku Islamin gk?") BRUH I DON'T WANNA LOGGIN MUSLIM😭😭 (I respect muslim tbh) but some of them said "Its a same Jesus never let us eat pigs or dating" I was like huh?? Then I asked my mom. Welp that's all thanks ig-

[sin-of-sloth-my-ass]

The Fallen Fairy Pt. 1

A/N: I noticed how inactive the Tumblr side of this fandom is 🤔 If you have any request don't hesitate to ask!

Previous ~ Next

warnings: spoilers

genre: neutral? Bit of Angst?

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"What ya looking at?" Your curious eyes peeked over King's shoulder as you followed his gaze that was directed at Diane and Howzer.

King let out a scream by your sudden appearance behind me, making everyone turn to look at you two curiously, but he waved it off "don't scare me like that, (Y/N)"

"It's been a while since I've been able to scare you, hasn't it" you smiled mischievously, but your words held a lot more meaning than just playfulness. The guilt of that ominous day is something the Fairy King will have to bear to his grave. Your once golden like wings were gone never to be seen again. It was a time never to be spoken of as it was a dreadful day to the both of you.

"Say, my king, you sure you're the sin of sloth? You act more like the sin of envy in my eyes" you mused as you lean your chin in your hands, all while a playful smile was playing on your lips.

Kings scoffed "I told you not to call me that any more. I'm not fit to be a king."

"And I'm not fit to be a fairy any more, but here we are" you replied nonchalantly as you turned in your seat to watch Meliodas and Ban intoxicating themselves with the golden liquid humans couldn't resist.

"What about you? I've seen you staring at Ban a couple of times" He asked as he was the one following your gaze this time.

Unbeknownst to King, it wasn't Ban you had been staring at, but the man opposite of him that held so much resemblance to your past lover. It almost felt like a cruel joke "it's not that deep, besides he's still not over Elaine, so I don't think I have that much of a chance."

"Oi, Tinkerbell" Meliodas called, snapping you out of your haze. Due to your bewildered eyes, a smirk grew on his face as you reminded him of a kid that got caught doing something it shouldn't do.

"What do you want devil's child" you shot back, regaining composure and copying the same smug look he had.

"(Y/N)" King gasped at your response "he's the captain! Don't go around and throw names out like that"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. It's all a joke, right Meliodas?" you defended yourself, but the mischievous look in your eyes didn't go unnoticed by the said boy.

"It's alright King. I know she's just joking" he reassured him. "Anyway, I think the customers could use another round"

"Go ask Elizabeth" you waved him off.

"She's at the capitol" he replied. You grith your teeth "what about Gowther?"

"He went with Merlin somewhere" he informed, amused by your growing irritation "you know our deal. When those two aren't around, you're the one serving the customers"

"Fine" you breathed as you head up from your seat and went behind the bar to give everyone their respective drinks.

"Thank you! What about the uniform, though?" He teased to which you rolled your eyes "don't push it"

To your luck, Elizabeth soon enough arrived, letting you escape the tedious deal you made with the captain of the Seven Deadly Sins.

"Diane!! Let's go train!"

You ran outside the boarhead before Meliodas could come up with a way to rope you into working longer.

You did your best to keep up with Diane's long strolls, cursing in your mind how easier it would've been if you still had your wings.

Once you were deep in the forest and excluded enough from any living creature, you took your fighting stance.

"You know you could always ask Merlin to take a look at your wings. Maybe she finds a way to fix them" Diane said as you did your best to dodge her Golems.

"Mhm, I know. I don't want too, though. It's a reminder to myself of how I failed my kind and how I should work every day to become stronger." You explained as you slashed one of the stone creations with your katana, making it crumble to the floor. You quickly dodged as the other was already coming at you with its fist.

Diane frowned at your answer "you know it wasn't your fault, right?"

"They trusted me. I was their number one defence line and I failed them. I was the royal guard. The one that should protect the Fairy King. How can I possibly be fit for that role when I couldn't even protect my friends? It should've been only me that got killed that day, not them." You mumbled the last part. Diane's creations collapsed as you kicked it with all your force against a tree. You took in the giants emotional state and knew continuing to train was not an option. "Let's go back, shall we?"

By the time you got back, the night had fallen over Britannia. The boardhead was filled with intoxicated people passed out all over the place.

You head up to the roof to look out on the capital that had a few lights brimming in the otherwise dark city.

"I see you made Diane upset," Meliodas said as he joined you and handed you a bottle of ale which you gratefully accepted.

"She asked me why I didn't go to Merlin to see if she could get my wings back" you replied as you took a swig of the toxic liquid.

"You shouldn't blame yourself," he said.

"It's the second time I let my people down" you sighed "if death is not the answer, I guess this is the second-best thing"

"How do you feel about the seal?" He asked as he observed your reaction quietly.

You pressed your lips together as you let his questions sink in "I know it's bad news but at the same time... I haven't seen him in 3000 years"

"I know" he sighed, understanding your conflicted feelings "I hope you understand where I'm coming when I say I'm gonna do everything in my power to prevent them from breaking loose"

"Yeah... I know" you hugged your knees while placing your chin on them "when are you gonna tell them"

"When the time is right" he answered truthfully "what about you? King doesn't know how old you really are, does he?"

"He never asked" you shrugged.

"Would you tell him?" "I don't see why I wouldn't"

"Would you also tell King about him?" You stayed silent at that question, unsure whether it would benefit anyone if you were to tell him. "It's getting late, don't stay up too late."

With that Meliodas left, soon to return as you always had a chat in the midst of the night, while everyone is sound asleep around you

The upcoming sun awoke you from your place on the roof of the boarhead. You lazily sat up and admired the rose gold basked city that was slowly waking up as well.

"Hey Ban, planning on sneaking out without telling anyone?" You heard your king's voice, snapping you out of your dreamy haze.

You observed the two for a little until Ban said something that caught you off guard "I'm going back to the Fairy King's Forest"

It was hard to see their faces from up to where you were seated, but you knew King held a shocked face, mimicking yours.

Your eyes trailed them until you could no longer see them, making you swallow hard as you realized the Fairy King didn't even bother to get you "hypocrite"

You hopped off the roof and went back inside the bar, starting to clean up the mess everyone made the night before.

"Are you sick?" Meliodas asked when he walked downstairs to see who was making all that noise.

"King and Ban left to go to the Fairy King's Forest" you said, not sparing him a second glance.

"How come you didn't go? I thought you went everywhere King went" he asked as he helped you grab a couple of empty bottles.

"He clearly didn't want me there, after all, he left without saying anything." You mumbled "Diane's gonna be heartbroken"

"(Y/N)" Meliodas narrowed his eyes at you. For all those decennia he has known you, he knew something had to be terribly wrong for you not be by the Fairy King's side "I'm no longer a fairy, now am I? Fairies have wings, I don't"

"Neither has King" the captain of the seven deadly sins pointed out.

"He can still grow them. Mine are gone forever" you shot back. "Besides I'm very certain the forest wouldn't give me a third chance. It would be gut-wrenching knowing I could never return there"

"So you rather bask in the unknown?" You silently continuing to clean the used glasses was a sign for him to drop the subject "welp, it can't be helped. Guess you'll be the substitute for King"

"I could never replace my king" you shook your head.

"Your loyalty after all these hundreds of years still ceases to amaze me" he chuckled, making you smile a little as well.

You decided to stay back at the boarhead while the others went to the capital for the ceremony. It was a quiet day as you presumed most of the people of Britannia were at the ceremony to praise the Seven Deadly Sins.

You headed up to your usual spot on top of the boarhead and stared off in the distance and wondered when everything had become such a mess.

It crossed your mind that if Gloxinia was still here he'd probably be ashamed of how weak you've become. He'd probably turn his head at how you let the humans cut off your wings. After all, he warned you more times than you could count that humans should not be trusted. Yet here you were handing them alcohol in return for some golden coins. He'd be rolling in his grave if he'd caught wind of what you were doing right now.

A sudden tremor shook you literally out of your thought process and that's when you felt him. There was no mistake. Even after 3000 years, it still felt so familiar to you.

It didn't take long before Meliodas appeared back at the boarhead. "You felt it too, didn't you"

"Yes," you replied as looked at the Captain of the Seven Deadly Sins. His head hung low while an unease aura clouded his whole body "they're here"

[gay-salt-amber]

Leona basically like- "welp, we're dead. Kidnapping you now"

Can you imagine if or when all the ships are forced to spend a whole week vacation with their lover's family in one big home fit for everyone

I can literally see Azul being a red ass tomato with his mother and step father talking about him all praised to Idia and Malleus and Mrs Ashengratto basically being "You two should eat more. I made some of Azul's favorite~" I can also see the same with Cater's sisters being all "let me show you some embarrassing cute Cater pictures of when he was little" while Riddle tries to hide the fact he's dating at all from his parents. Some like "This is a family event with some classmates and friends from school"

My God Rook's family would be the WORST once they hear he's dating Vil and Neige! "How you manage to find such lovely people to date??" "When's the wedding~?" And the other side of the protective siblings being like- "So, have any of you two get in a serious fight?"

And don't get me started on Epel x Deuce/Epel x Savannaclaw family meet up-

By the way I made a random OC based off a sibling for Rook after finding out he has a big family, here't the link if you wanna check it out

omg they'd be staying the same hotel and Riddle and Leona would be like, "Do you wanna be here?" "No?" "Great me neither!"

Leona would spend time with Ruggie and Epel's family mostly since he really wanna be with his parents

Epel's family's just like "Wait your dating HOW many people?! And one of them is royalty?!" (same with Ruggie's)

I feel like Riddle would be so nervous and everyone in the room could feel it then Che'nya's just like, "Y'know what? I'm taking you to our room and we're gonna nap and I am putting a ban of your mom seeing you without a boyfriend around."

Oml all the baby photos

The parents will all be gushing over the baby photos while their kids are just like, "Please stop"

When Sebeks parents meet Lilia they are so confused first like hes a parent but also attending his sons school????

Sebeks parents are superstitious for whatever reason so to give a lil jab in the side, Esther stays in its bat form the whole time :>

Vil doesn't take his boyfriends to meet his dad. Period. Because his dad would use their love story for money and exploit the hell out of it and even Vil knows where to draw the line for stuff like that

Idia asks his dad if he could bring his partners on this trip and his dad went, "oh you mean that nice princess? Eliza, wasn't it?" and long story short Idia didn't go on that trip

Have you read the Boyfriends webtoon? You should.

Well, theres one scene in episode 78 where theres the disaster gays and the distinguished gays

distinguished gays: Jade and Trey

disaster gays: Floyd, Riddle, Che'nya, Cater

(This is according to Floyd+Jades parents)

Leona takes his boyfriends to a vacation home he bought himself a few years ago once his bro and parents get annoying and they lounge around there the rest of the trip

--

I know its not much but its something ;w; -Amber

[mrultra100]

The FALJ 10th Anniversary Retrospective

It’s time for the moment you’ve been waiting for!

On this day, ten years ago, an episode of a rather “well known” show (And by “well known”, I meant absolutely dumped on at the time) aired on Cartoon Network for the first time ever. That episode also got me practically obsessed with two of its characters, leading me to make a whole ton of fanart and personal headcanons years later after their only appearance in the series. If I told a younger version of me that he (or I, in this case) would develop an interest in the Vampire Twins from Johnny Test, one so big it leads to where I am today, younger me wouldn’t believe me...err, older me. Anyhoo, in celebration of “Fangs a Lot Johnny’s 10th anniversary, I thought that it would be fun to revisit the episode and go over ideas I’ve developed for the V-Twins in the last few years. 

Given that this episode was nothing more than a Twilight spoof done a bit too late in the public’s eyes to care, I’ve grown attached to the idea of expanding on Susan and Mary’s vampire forms as characters. I know that out of all shows, JT ain’t the biggest on character development, but, I’ve got a few ideas up my sleeves for my own headcanons for these two. But before we can go into those ideas in greater detail, I think we’re gonna need to take a look at the episode itself to give a quick summary ‘bout it. And remember, these girls don’t bite...unless you ask them very nicely, that is…

Alright, to give a good and quick summary of FALJ’s plot, the episode starts with Johnny and Dukey using a teleporter that the former’s sisters made to steal some good ol’ mexican. After the Twins find out and decide on banning Johnny from the lab all together, Johnny tries to barter them by showing them that Gil has fallen in love with another girl; a moody, conflicted vampire movie star by the name of “Xeandra”. That sounds really familiar, doesn’t it?

 Anyways, steamed that Gil’s into someone else, Susan and Mary, with some help from Johnny, decide that the best course of action is to use vampire bat DNA to turn into real vampires. Yeah, that’ll obviously work; turning yourself into a dangerous, lust-filled creature of the night is of course the best way to get your crush to notice you. Well, the boys realize this the hard way, as the transformation soon finishes, and the Vampire Twins now make their grand debut; ready to bite some necks and take some names, namely Johnny and Dukey’s! The boys then make a run for it, running outside, thinking that the V-Twins can’t follow. Welp, the Twins prove them wrong, by what else? Glittering, of course

And this is where the Twilight references should come pouring in

After barely managing to escape with their lives, only for Dukey to sic the V-Twins on Gil, the boys must save Gil and turn the girls back to normal. As the episode goes on, the V-Twins get into all sorts of shenanigans; Getting trampled by an overexcited crowd,  trying to bite through glass (A not -well known weakness of vampires), and even sneaking through the vents of the theater, our dynamic duo eventually get to Gil while scaring off the audience, especially Xeandra (Who turns out to be a huge brat, go figure). 

Unfortunately for them, this didn’t last long, as Johnny managed to track them down, distract them while Dukey teleported them back to the lab, and turned them back...sort of. In order to take care of the vampire DNA present in the girls, Johnny replaced them with frog DNA, and needless to say, the episode ends with the Twins chasing Johnny and Dukey into the sunset, while “hopping” mad… (Geddit?).

 Yeah, despite my love for the V-Twins, this episode was kinda average, and with it being a parody of Twilight, it didn’t get into alot of really cool ideas that could’ve made things very interesting for our undead heroines. With that said, I’ve come up with my own headcanons that could help the V-Twins expand as characters in their own right. And you’re ‘bout to see ‘em, so you better sit tight, this is gonna be really, really REALLY personal!

And now’s the part of the retrospective where Ultra makes a clown out of himself for rambling about cartoon vampire girls

Now we’re divin’ into the really juicy details! I’ve got plenty of these ideas swarming around in my head, with ideas like Mary being bisexual, the Twins having the ability to grow and control their own hair (An idea me and @Toonfan37 came up with a while back), and even having living shadows being well known, but here are some more prominent I have.

Using their canon personalities, Susan is a feisty, sassy, and hotheaded woman, while Mary is more calm, sweet, and quiet, while being a bit arrogant at times.

When it comes to body types, the Twins’ body proportions are both a bit different, and similar at the same time; Susan having more of a bottom heavy build while being a bit shorter, and Mary being more top heavy and taller due to having slightly longer legs. While the Twins have different body proportions, they have enough similarities to keep up being, well, twins.

Mary is a huge tokusatsu fangirl, without a doubt. She even sleeps with a Rodan plushie in her coffin.

Out of the duo, Susan is the more aggressive one, being more than willing to personally get into a fight if needed.

The Twins are able to turn into actual vampire bats, since vampire bat DNA was used in their transformation.

Not only can the Twins manipulate their hair and control how much of it there is, they can also imbue their own shadows into said hair, allowing them to control their hair like shadowy tentacles. They can even use this power to turn into more monstrous forms when the situation calls for it.

As shown in the CCBR 3-in-1 Ultraween Spooktacular, Mary LOVES Halloween. After years of being a vampire, Mary has gained a love for the holiday

Whew, that was a mouthful!. Now, am I being a bit too passionate about these characters? Yes, yes I am. I’m more than willing to admit it and be honest with myself. But, in all seriousness, these two just bring me so much joy. And while somebody may ask me “Why go through with all of this, are you willing to make such a big deal for a couple of one-time characters who appeared a decade ago?”. And the answer to that question is a big, fat, honest yes. Over the last 10 years since their episode, and in the last 3 years since I’ve started becoming an artist and a writer, I’ve always loved the V-Twins, and this was loads of fun to make. While it could be possible that they might never return canonically, at the very least, here’s hoping that they continue to stay in our minds for years to come!

Thank y'all so much for reading, and I wish you a “Fangcellent” Halloween!

(...Sorry, I couldn’t resist ending this thing on a pun, it just felt good)

[fuck-customers]

PNW Casino. It's been a while but OOF. This is a fuck customers and also fuck our Executive Team.

So our lovely Casino was one of the last to open in our area b/c the tribe wanted it to be as safe as possible. That's all good. But o.m.g. living in a very Red part of the state fucked us so hard jfc.

Opening day was. A. Mess. Customers were fighting us on ALL of our restrictions. We had to ban people for coughing on people to protest the masks. Our 2 restaurants (out of 5) that we reopened has limited seating & limited menu and my GOD the backlash. And! HALF of the casino's staff is still out on furlough so supervisors now have to have a till but ALSO run multiple venues (HOW?).

Since we've been open I have: been called a cunt, been told I am a sheep for wearing my mandated mask, threatened...jfc. I have had so many panic attacks during shifts b/c customers are fucking MEAN.

It has been almost 2 months since we reopened. EVERYONE knows no mask, no entry. We STILL get asshats being dicks. Like?

I just wanna get on our P.A. system and SCREAM.

YOU WANTED US OPEN TOO EARLY. THE PANDEMIC IS STILL HAPPENING! WE DO THIS SO WE CAN BE AS SAFE AS POSSIBLE. BE GRATEFUL YOU FUCKS!!

Out here risking my ass (we have 1 person w/ a confirmed Covid diagnosis and have we been informed by the PTB? NOPE. AFAIK we have had 15 ppl get tested. So far.) For these ungrateful entitled trump loving asshats. Fuck these people.

And IN THE MIDST OF THIS our CEO just changed. And they are shaking shit UP. And just demoted my director and have walked back my promotion "due to Covid". W.t.f?! AND they are planning on putting someone in charge of my dept who has NO FUCKING CLUE what they are doing.

Welp. Jokes on them. Director has found a better job & when she goes to sign her demotion papers she is gonna tell them to shove it (she has been here 15 fucking years wtf.) And leave them scrambling. Me & Boss Lady & MD (1 work wife & 1 bestie) are also looking and B.L has a job lined up for august, I have an interview on Wednesday and in the meantime when they ask "Can you do XYZ?" Its gonna be NOPE sorry. I have 0 idea how to do that.

Me & Boss Lady are the only ones who know how to do orders & honestly if we leave they are FUCKED b/c there will only be 2 ppl left who are in any way REMOTELY competent and awesome humans (they have been warned but 1 can't risk leaving she needs the insurance).

Toying w/ the idea of just straight walking out if i get hired @ the interview. But. Hmm. Depends on what the fall out is from Director's abrupt departure.

Honestly y'all, in the 6 years I have been here we have had 4 CEO's, 4 CFO's, 4 HR directors & 3 Training & Development ppl rotate through. Place is TOXIC.

This place is doomed. Especially since Covid #'s are going up. Honestly I think it may go under if they have to close again. The tribe has other diversified businesses but this is THE big one.

God I can't wait to be DONE w/ this place.

[ihaveanimagine]

Hi! Hope everything is well with you! I was wondering if you could do something where Cedric Diggory ends up in detention somehow, and the Slytherin Reader that is there as well, is quite surprised how pretty boy Diggory ended up there to begin with... but even more about how their detention ended ;)

AN: Kay so this story snatched my brain and ran so imma put a read more cut in here, sorry! Hope you enjoy!!

Go to Hogwarts, they said.

Get sorted into Slytherin, they said.

It’ll be fun, they said.

Looking around you at the mostly empty classroom with Finch up at the front desk, you mentally noted to have a few words with whoever said Hogwarts life would be fun and easy.

You sighed loudly and plopped your chin in your palm and glared at the wall.

Is it too late to plead innocent?

Your eyes glanced over to Mrs. Norris who was perched on Filch’s desk and felt a chill run down your spine when she stopped her grooming to stare at you with her unblinking red eyes.

Yeah detention really sucked at Hogwarts…

Although from what you heard from some of the older students, detention was usually served in the kitchens. So why were you in an empty classroom?

Your eyes darted around the room trying to find a clock of some kind to see how long you’ve been stuck there. You eventually found an ornate grandfather clock that informed you that it’s been...five minutes?!?!!!

It’s only been five minutes since you were brought in???

Sweet Merlin’s ankle socks this was torture-

You let out a frustrated growl and flopped your head on the desk.

“Hey!!” Filch’s gravelly voice cut through the room and seemed to echo around your skull. “No sudden movements you little runt! One more peep outta you and I’ll chain you to the ceiling!” 

Normally, you’d ignore Filch’s threats. But you were bored so you decided to enjoy a few moments of sass.

“Likely story, Filch.” You responded dryly, not even looking up at the squib groundskeeper. “Everyone knows Dumbledore won’t let you abuse us students like that.” 

Filch snarled and stomped his boots on the floor. “Watch your tongue, wretch! I am your superior and you will respect my authority or I will have you whipped!”

“There will be no whipping of anyone, Mister Argus Filch.” The stern yet maternal voice of Professor Sprout interrupted Filch’s tantrum. 

The Hufflepuff’s Head of House strode in with her head held high and a firm gaze. “Mister Filch, we talked about threatening students with torture.” Her tone conveyed a sense of frustration and disappointment and you were genuinely surprised to see Filch cower before the woman with an embarrassed look on his face.

You perked up eagerly, internally grinning at what just happened. Was it too much to hope Professor Sprout would save you from this death via boredom detention?

Filch mumbled out an apology and crossed his arms. 

Professor Sprout smiled and nodded her head “Apology accepted.” She turned to you and nodded a hello “Hope you’re doing well, Dearie.” She said softly.

Warmth and hope bloomed in your chest at the endearing nickname. Freedom was so close you could almost taste it!

“I’m doing well now that I know I won’t be shackled to the ceiling,” You grinned at her, not bothering to look at Filch who huffed in annoyance.

Sprout chuckled softly “I’m glad I could ease your mind, Dearie. But I’m afraid that’s all the saving I can do.”

Betrayal!

“I’m just here to drop off your detention partner and then I’ll be on my way.” Professor Sprout cast another warning glare at Filch before stepping to the side to reveal your detention inmate.

“This is Cedric Diggory, he’ll be joining you for this week and the next. I do hope you two get along and become friends!” Sprout smiles brightly at the two of you before quickly saying her goodbyes.

Vaguely, you heard Filch order the both of you to follow him to the dungeons to the kitchens (as if neither of you knew where the kitchen was located). But you were too busy trying to pick your jaw off the floor at the fact that Cedric “Pretty Boy” Diggory was in detention.

Your mind raced, conjuring up as many possible (and impossible) reasons he could have gotten into detention. Started a fight? Nah, he’s gotta keep a clean record to stay on the Quidditch team. Dared to cast a forbidden curse? A horrifying mental image (Merlin help anyone who provokes a Hufflepuff into using forbidden curses) but also unlikely. 

Maybe he sassed Snape?

That’s how you got here but you can’t picture Diggory actively sassing Snape to his face. Not many did, and from what you knew, Sassing Snape had even been banned from Gryffindor Dare Challenges. That’s how much no one sassed Snape. 

Except you apparently, but in your defense, you do believe he was just overreacting.

A small but firm tug on your sleeve yanked you out of your head just as Filch stopped at the doors of the kitchens.

Beside you, you felt Diggory inconspicuously step away from you before Filch turned around to address the both of you with a wicked, greasy smile.

Heck, you owed the Hufflepuff now-

“Enjoy your detention, wretches.” Filch drawled, opening up the door to the kitchens. Diggory shifted on his feet, obviously uncomfortable. Which Filch obviously noticed. “A shame I can’t stay and enjoy your suffer-”

“Welp, thanks for the tour, I’ll send a tip for you at the front desk.” you interrupted, shoving past Filch who stuttered wildly. You glanced back to see Diggory shuffle in quietly behind you, stepping away from Filch as far as he could while still being polite. “Now I’m sure you’re a very busy man so I’ll leave you to it!” 

You quickly dashed up to the door and closed it in front of a fuming groundskeeper who shouted empty threats.

Feeling absolutely smug and pleased with yourself, you made a dramatic show if dusting off your shoulders as a smirk grew on your features. You turned to Diggory and grinned “Tour Guides can be so pushy sometimes, don’t you agree?” You quipped, earning a chuckle covered up by a cough from the Quidditch Star himself.

“You two!” A harsh voice came from below your kneecaps mere seconds before your shoes were attacked by a wooden spoon wielding House Elf. “Put your robes on the hooks by the door then report to the wash station! If I’m gonna be forced to watch you two delinquents in my kitchen, I’ll at least put you to work!”

The plump House Elf motioned first to the small rack of hooks by the kitchen doors then at the giant sink pressed against the brick walls to his right. He smacked his wooden spoon again, this time at the floor in between you and Diggory. “Don’t just stand there! Hurry! Pitts doesn’t run a social area! Pitts runs a kitchen!”

He turns abruptly and you turn to Diggory, half-bewildered and half-amused at being ordered around by a House Elf. You weren’t sure what to expect from Hufflepuff’s Seeker but a very terrified look on his face with arms scrunched up around his torso was not what you were expecting.

Oh no, he’s adorable- You thought to yourself, torn between cooing over the expression on his face as he nervously chewed his lip and bolting to wrap him in a large blanket to comfort him. Step one: Don’t fall for the adorable looks of my detention buddy.

You coughed softly and waved a hand in front of Diggory’s face. “Hey, pretty boy, you there?” 

Diggory’s grey eyes fluttered before looking at you. He took a sharp inhale and quickly dropped his hands and straightened himself up. “S-sorry! Yes, I’m here. Uh, can I help you with your robe?” He asked, gesturing quickly to the hooks near the door as he quickly removed his and draped it over his forearm before holding his hands up to assist you with yours.

Oh no, he’s sweet-

“Uh, yeah sure. Thanks.” You mumbled before removing your robe to brush off your out-of-class clothes. Diggory took both robes and neatly set them up on the hooks. He began folding his slightly wrinkled sleeves up his forearm and you felt every inch of your body suddenly break out into internal screaming.

I bet 10 galleons, a month’s worth of Butterbeer, and a lifetime supply of chocolate frogs that boy is part Veela-

“What are you doing?” You asked, tilting your head slightly as the two of you began heading to the wash area. 

“We’re washing dishes, aren’t we?” Diggory replied, glancing up at the large sink with a pile of dishes to the side of it. “I just didn’t want to get my sleeves too wet.” 

You blinked. Shoot, you didn’t think of that.

You quickly made sure your sleeves were out of reach of the water as you both arrived at the sink where another House Elf quickly explained your jobs and how to properly wash dishes before leaving the two of you unsupervised. 

Silence enveloped the both of you as you got to work, the only words exchanged between you both were reminders of how Pitts wanted the dishes washed and soft mutters of frustration when a dish slipped or clinked loudly against the sink.

After an eternity (*30 minutes*) of washing an endless pile of dishes, you finally caught a break long enough to stretch out your muscles and pop your neck.

Only for Pitts to gleefully drop another mountain of dishes at the sink with a pinched look on his face. “Hurry up! If you troublemakers have time to break rules and get in trouble, you have time to wash more dishes!”

You were suddenly very tempted to wash dishes while singing obnoxious songs as off-key as humanly possible.

You ground your teeth but said nothing and angrily scrubbed the closest dish. As you finished your dish, you passed it off to Diggory to dry but stopped when you saw that look from earlier plastered on his face.

His eyebrows pinched in worry while he chewed on his lip, his clouded eyes darted from the sink in front of him to where Pitts stood on a crate barking out orders.

Oof, poor guy’s gotta be stressed outta his mind…

“So uh...what are you in for?” You asked, casually handing over the dish like you hadn’t been holding it for the past minute.

Diggory blinked before looking at you. “Excuse me?”

“What are you in for?” You repeated as you grabbed the next dish “Me? I’m in for asking Snape why we don’t have Alchemy classes on the regular like at the Beauxbatons.” You rolled your eyes at the memory of Snape’s face turning red in the middle of Potions Class. “I was just wondering what the differences were between potions and alchemy classes and Snape went all ‘We don’t question the curriculums in the middle of class’ so I just asked if the reason was because he sucked at Alchemy-” Beside you, Diggory let out a choked wheeze “-and he banished me to the care of our wondrous groundskeeper slash tour guide Argus Filch.”

“I-, you-” Diggory bit his lip in an effort to contain giggles. “You said what to Snape?” He laughed and shook his head as he finished drying the dish in his hands. “I’m...honestly surprised you’re still alive.”

You grinned “I happen to be very good at avoiding death via Snape. It’s mostly thanks to the fact that we were surrounded by an entire class full of witnesses that kept me alive.” 

Diggory chuckled again and you nudged him with the next dish you passed along. “So what about you, pretty boy? How’d someone with a squeaky clean record like you end up in detention?”

“Oh, I set a student’s robe on fire.”

ExcUSE?!?!????

You physically choked on your saliva and felt your nails dig into the metal of the sink as you tried to cough your way back to a clear throat.

Diggory panicked beside you and quickly cleaned a glass and filled it with some clean water and handed it to you while waiting for you to remember how to breathe properly.

“I’m sorry, you w h a t?!”

“I overheard a fifth year refer to a first year as ‘Mudblood’ so I cast Incendio on the fifth year’s robes.” Diggory replied, shrugging as a grim countenance fell on his face. “I don’t know either of them but I hope that first year is okay…”

“Wait, wait, wait! Back up!” You made the time out sign and pointed at Diggory “If you’re the one who stood up for that first year, why are you here instead of that fifth year?!”

Diggory sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Not sure...I didn’t ask, I’m...kind of in shock that I haven’t been expelled from the Quidditch team or Hogwarts yet.”

Ah, the classic “I did a bad thing now the worst possible consequence will happen” thoughts.

“But-! You were defending the kid! Why are you in trouble?” 

Another shrug. “I mean, even if I was defending someone, I used magic outside of class in an aggressive way. That’s still a punishable offense.”

Your nose scrunched up and a frown formed on your face. “I don’t suppose you can give me the appearance of this fifth year?”

“No, I’m not going to tell you what that student looks like so you’ll try to make their life a living hell while pretending to know nothing.”

“I wasn’t gonna!!”

Diggory looked at you with a half-serious half-amused expression. “Then what were you planning?”

You stuck your tongue out and grinned evilly “I was simply going to introduce them to the mermaid friends I made in Black Lake!”

Both of you broke out into laughs only to be shushed by Pitts who ordered the two of you to stop slacking.

Diggory flinched at Pitt’s tone and you gently bumped the Hufflepuff’s arm. “Hey....you okay? Pitts isn’t bothering you too much, is he? I bet I can annoy him into being quieter if you need him to stop shouting.”

Diggory smiled softly at you “Thank you but I’m...I’m okay. It’s not Pitts who I’m worried about.”

“Is it Filch? Please tell me it’s Filch. I learned this firework spell from a Gryffindor and I’ve been dying to try it out.”

Another small laugh. “No, well...not anymore. Filch is definitely terrifying but he’s the least of my problems.”

Ah, so it’s probably a personal thing. Aight no biggie, just casually steer the conversation away. No need to get mushy on the first day of school prison- ahem- detention.

“It’s my dad that I’m worried about…”

Aaaand there goes that idea-

“He’s very proud of me and I try really hard to be this perfect son for him who never causes any trouble and I’m…” Diggory looked down at the sink and his eyes went glassy for a moment before he took a deep breath. “I’ve never gotten detention before. I’ve always found some way to avoid it by picking fights with bullies when there’s a crowd of people around to confirm the bully’s actions and my defense but this time…”

“You were set up.” Your eyes widened in realization as your jaw dropped.

Diggory nodded grimly and slowly resumed his dish drying.

“Did...did you tell any of the professors what happened?” You asked softly, silently considering any and all options to track down this fifth year and cause them some sort of harm.

“Professor Sprout.” He said, taking the next dish from you “She said she’ll do some asking around but…” His throat went dry and his eyes watered.

“She gave you the disappointed voice?”

He nodded once and you nearly teared up in sympathy.

Nothing had ever made you cry as fast as hearing Professor Sprout saying “I’m very disappointed in you, Dearie.” And you were a Slytherin. You had to deal with Severus “I’m better than all of you” Snape’s condescending tone since you arrived to Hogwarts! 

“I’m...sorry, Diggory.” You whispered, not sure how to comfort him.

“Cedric. And it’s alright...I appreciate you just listening to me ramble.”

“Uh, you’re welcome?”

“Cedric.” He said again, a bit firmer this time. “You don’t have to call me ‘Diggory’.” He clarified before turning to you with a shy smile. “We’re stuck in detention for a week together, aren’t we? Might as well get to know each other.”

“O-oh, right. Uh, thanks, Cedric.” You mumbled, trying furiously to stop a random blush from rising to your cheeks. “S-so uh...after detention’s over, wanna grab a Butterbeer?” You glared at the mountain of dishes before turning back to Cedric.

Cedric grinned widely at you and practically glowed “I’d love to! It’s a date!”

Well, failed Step One I guess-

[six-of-ravens]

All right, putting myself on an Unnecessary Spending Ban for the rest of the year (with a few exceptions because I Know I can't totally live like a monk). Got into this mentality of "welp, I'm stuck inside indefinitely! might as well buy things!" and that's. Not great.

Went ahead and bought/pre-ordered the few books I'm really looking forward to this year, so I have no reason to do any more book shopping (that's the main problem lmao). Also finally cancelled my useless spotify membership, and am gonna cancel a few other subscriptions too, cause those are getting a bit out of hand.

Yaaaaaay financial management!

[gosecretscribbles]

Stanuary 2020 Week 2: Secrets

Summary:  To shake off Crampelter, Stan takes Ford to a secret tunnel - which leads to Ford's discovery of Stanley's secret love for romance novels.

TW: Bullying

@stanuary

“He’s catching up!” Ford panted.

“So run faster!”

“He’s on a bike and I have skinny noodle legs!”

“Fair point!”

They raced down the sidewalk, but Ford was tiring fast and Stan could hear Crampelter’s bike screech around the corner behind them.  To the right was a grassy park – a nice wide open space with nowhere to hide – and to the left was Viewpoint Point, a small cliff that jutted out of the sand with a rotted pier crumbling from its tip.  The base was eroded into huge piles of rocks and boulders.  Stan grabbed Ford’s arm and sprinted toward it, kicking up sand in his wake.

“Where are we going?” Ford gasped.

“Where a bike can’t follow us!”

“HEY PINES FREAKS!”

Stan glanced over his shoulder.  Crampelter had stopped his bike and had a BB gun leveled at their backs, a couple of actual rockets attached to the front.

“My rockets!” Ford cried.

“You can have ‘em back!” Crampelter shouted, and he fired.  

He wasn’t aiming to hit them, but it exploded in the sand right behind them and the shockwave knocked them flat.  

“The heck did you load those with?” Stan gasped.

“He’s reloading, he’s reloading!”

Stan cursed, made a split-second decision, then grabbed Ford’s arm and took off toward the cliff.  He heard a shrill whistle and dove right just in time to avoid another rocket.  Then, still gripping Ford’s arm tightly, he started scrambling over the rocks at the base of the cliff.

“Stan!  We need to hide!” Ford wheezed.

Stan didn’t answer, just pulled Ford behind him and slowly backed up.  They were balanced rather precariously over two very large boulders, and their backs were pressed to the wall of the cliff.  Crampelter grinned, reloaded, and fired.  The second the rocket sent up a cover of sand, Stan shoved Ford into a gap between the rocks and dove in after him.  

He landed with a face in his elbow and a knee in his gut.  He grunted and rolled off his brother, both of them breathing hard.  After a minute Stan’s eyes adjusted to the light from the crevice above them.  They were in a small pocket in the cliff, about the size of the Pawn Shop, and there was an opening a few feet away that led down a dark tunnel.  Stan gave his brother a quick glance, but he was holding himself okay and it didn’t look like he’d sprained anything from the fall.

“You okay?” Stan asked.

“I – yeah, yeah.  Where are we?”

“Cave.”

“I can see that,” Ford said, slightly annoyed.  “I meant where –”

“Hey!” Crampelter called overhead.  Immediately Ford fell back behind Stan.  “You stupid losers, did you run away like a couple of cowards?”

Yeah, cuz we don’t wanna get blown up from bad aim, Stan thought sourly.  He motioned for Ford to head for the tunnel.  Ford grimaced but got up quietly and followed, hooking one hand around Stan’s arm and reaching out with the other to feel for the wall.  Stan did the same, leading them slowly forward until Crampelter’s voice faded and they were lost in inky blackness.

“He’s gonna block the entrance, isn’t he,” Ford sighed.

“Nah.  It’s really well hidden.  You didn’t even notice when you were standing right over it.”

“I had a rocket pointed at my face,” he said drily.  “Also, how did you know this was here?”

“Uh…I mean I had to hide somewhere when Pops thought I stole his vinyl collection, right?”

“But how did you – hey!”

“It’s okay!” Stan said quickly.  The tunnel of the wall had suddenly veered away from them, and Stan quickly turned left so they could keep following it.  They’d reached the big cavern, he’d have to be careful where he led Ford from here.  “There. Find the wall?  It’s just a pocket in the cliff.  The tunnel keeps going in about ten feet, Nothing to see here.”

“Ugh.  Hang on, let me get my flashlight.”

“What?  No, wait –”

Too late.  Ford clicked it on.  His jaw dropped and Stan let out a groan.  

This cavern was about the same size as the first, but it held a small cooler, a small electric lantern and stacks and stacks of books.  There were so many it looked like a miniature city.  

Ford looked around, bewildered.  “Where did all these books come from?”

“No idea!” Stan said brightly.  “Welp, guess the place is haunted by a librarian, we better go before we run out of oxygen or it traps us here for all eternity!”

But Ford was already picking up a book.  “This is Ma’s book,” he said slowly.  “She tossed it ages ago.  And that one, and that one – Stan, did you bring all of these down here?”

He cringed.  “N-no! Maybe!  Because they were so horrible I couldn’t let them see the light of day again!”

“There are toffee crumbs in this one on page 57,” Ford said.  “Stan, are you reading romance novels?”

“Don’t tell Pa,” he begged.

“Did you read all of these?!”

“I read them when Ma throws them out.  Don’t tell her either,” Stan said.  “Don’t tell anyone, okay?  They’re just – research!  For getting good at flirting and stuff!  I mean, a mug like mine, I’m gonna have honeys dripping off each arm.  Gotta be prepared, right?  Am I right?”

Ford stared at him.  

Sweat broke over Stan’s face.  “What? What?  Say something already!”

“Romances.”

“Flirt research!”

“With pink covers.”

“They have cowboys!”

“Dozens of them.”

“I –”

“I can’t believe this!” Ford’s face split into a huge grin.  “You’ve secretly been a bookworm too?  This whole time!?”

“Hey, easy with the insults!” Stan protested.

Ford just laughed and punched him in the arm.  “Stan, this is fantastic!  We can hide all our stuff down here instead of in the ship where Crampelter can get it.  We can come down here to read whenever we want!”

“You’re not…grossed out?”

“Are you kidding!?”  Ford swung an arm around Stan’s neck and yanked him down for a noogie.  He had the upper body strength of sea lettuce, but Stan ducked down obligingly and laughed when Ford messed up his hair.  “My brother the bookworm!” Ford shouted happily.  “Bookworm Buddies for life!”

“Get off already,” Stan grumbled, beat red and grinning.  “You’re just obsessed with anything book-shaped, aren’t you. These are actual lady romance novels, you know.”

“Yeah, I know!  How many have you read?  Which ones are your favorites?  You got any supernatural ones?  Oh!  There’s some romance in Dracula, have you read that yet?  Although it’s kind of a slow start.  Oh wait, have you read –”

“Dude, Dracula’s a book?”

“I HAVE SO MUCH TO SHOW YOU!”

Ford grabbed Stan’s hand and started pulling him towards the entrance, but Stan blanched and dug in his heels.

“Whoa, hang on a second!”

“What?  Don’t worry, the librarian banned you but we can still use my library card!  I’ll even pay the fines if you ruin the books again!”

“That was Pete the Seagull’s fault,” Stan said sharply.  “Not my fault he thought the picture of bread on the cover was real.”

“Who cares?  C’mon! You said the tunnel keeps going, right? Let’s go to the library right now!”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Stan yanked his hand away.  “Seriously, Ford, no.”

“Why not?”

“Because Crampelter’s out their with your rockets – nice job keeping track of those, by the way – and I don’t want him or anyone else to catch me carrying books around.  Your books, sure, but not these books.  Imagine what Pops would say.”

Ford winced.  

“Exactly.”

“Well you could have told me,” Ford said indignantly.  “I mean you had a whole secret cave down here and you never told me about it!  How did you even find it in the first place?”

“It’s connected to that chamber where we found the Stan O’ War.  And the only reason I didn’t tell you is because you got really obvious tells.”

“I do not!”

“Dude, your eye is twitching right now.”

“Oh…”

Stan shifted awkwardly.  “It’s fine.  I just…I don’t want anyone else to know I like weird gooey romance stuff.”

Ford cracked a grin.  “Stan, you’re talking to the resident expert on weird.”

“You’re really not grossed out?”

“I’m grossed out that some of these books smell like bad pizza cheese, but that’s about it.  Oh, and you owe me for keeping the cave a secret.”

“I just saved your skinny butt from Crampelter!”

“And!” Ford said, striding towards the exit tunnel.  “We still need to head to the library.  I check out stuff like Dracula all the time, so no one will find it odd, and it has romance and adventure and even a ship, plus we can come back here and read it, assuming no one spots us going in through the main chamber –”

“See if I save you from your own science ever again,” Stan muttered, but he was grinning as he followed his brother down the tunnel.  

AN: You can't look me in the eye after watching "The Inconveniencing" and tell me Stan wouldn't have liked a good romance novel. Especially ones with strong female protagonists and dancing.

For the record, literally anyone can like romance - any kind of romance. Stan's desire to keep it a secret stems from mainstream toxic masculinity and Filbrick, whose solution to bullying is to push Stan to beat up the bully in boxing, and is a pretty good example of teaching toxic masculinity.

Ford doesn't care about that, and neither should you or anyone else. *Yeets toxic gender conformity straight out the window*