#went entirely to shit in them all but i kept dreaming about like my friends and family all dying or me accidentally killing my pet lizard o | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deobienthusiast · 1 month

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be my only one | jacob bae

• pairing: ex!jacob x gn!reader

• word count: 3.7k words

• genre: exes to lovers, angst, fluff, non-idol jacob, non-idol tbz members, there is also a mention of non idol joshua because why not🤷🏾‍♀️

• rating: PG

• warnings: jacob makes the executive decisions in that make him and reader sad, the sad parts are pretty sad guys, BUT IT HAS A HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE!!!!, make out sesh also

• tagging: @deoboyznet

• notes: based off of leehi’s only (love that song so much! a favorite of mine) ex jacob trying to rekindle the flame with the only person he wants to be with! WELL WE LOVE THAT!!!!! i didn’t bother to have anyone beta read this because i feel as though we’ve collectively all waited long enough as a group. BANNA BANNA BY @daemour (thank you so much love🩵) THE ENDING IS SO FUCKING BAD OH MY GOD WHY AM I SO SHIT AT WRITING ENDINGS.

If Jacob had to pinpoint the exact moment his life went to shit, it would have to be when he lost you. You were his world, his life. Hell, Jacob would go as far as to say you made up his entire existence. There was no reason to go on if you weren’t there, no reason to wake up in the morning if he didn’t get to see you first. You were single-handedly the only reason Jacob continued on this planet. All the bullshit, violence, corruption, politics. He could ignore all of it when you were around.

To Jacob you were what the sun revolved around. Screw the solar system, screw space, screw NASA. The universe’s entire makeup was created specifically for you in his eyes.

Jacob only knew how to treat you like a delicate flower. He was the gentleman type. Constantly opening doors, lifting heavy objects, carrying the groceries in the house in one trip (which he was positive he could do each time until he tripped over one of his shoes the last time and face-planted). He wanted to be your knight in shining armor, and he was. Always coming to your rescue and supporting you in everything that you did. So, when you came to him that one day, almost three years into your relationship, to rave about getting the dream job opportunity you had been working so hard for, he was ecstatic. Jacob was so proud of you. This was what you had worked so hard for. All the late nights, plans canceled (something Jacob never let you feel bad about), the constant studying, numerous tests. It was all for this big moment.

The happiest moment of his life was finding out you were getting everything you wanted.

“I did it Cobie! I did it! I got the job.” You said excitedly, handing him the acceptance letter.

You were too caught up in your own excitement and emotions to notice Jacob’s dark eyes scaling the acceptance letter. He was particularly locked into the almost two year internship that would bring you across the ocean, away from your home, from your friends and family. More importantly, away from him. Jacob couldn’t be bothered to say anything. He would never want to take this moment from you, so he bit his tongue.

The next time you saw all your friends, you raved about the job opportunity, making everyone buzz with anticipation. They knew how hard you had worked, Jacob had kept them all filled in whether they liked it or not. Sangyeon suggested a party before you left to celebrate.

A going away party.

Jacob hated those words. He didn’t want you to go away, whether it was your dream job or not. He wanted you to stay with him forever. Jacob wanted to tell you that the job he had was enough to support the both of you. He worked hard so that you wouldn’t have to, but that would be selfish. That would make Jacob everything he’s really not. When it comes to you, though, he wants to be the most selfish person on the planet. He couldn’t, no, he wouldn’t. That wouldn’t be fair to you, and all the work you put into this.

The party came quickly. Jacob was heartbroken. Because the party meant you left quicker. You had noticed a change in his mood, the closer the party got. His attitude had changed so drastically that you hadn’t seen him in almost a week when the party arrived due to him staying with his friend Kevin. You weren’t sure what the issue was, why was the love of your life acting this way. You needed to talk to him about your leaving, you needed to reassure him everything was going to be okay. Jacob wasn’t giving you the opportunity, though.

Everyone arrived at yours around 6. Food, drinks, and lots of storytelling are what the night entailed, but it was hard to enjoy anything with your better half keeping a football field length distance between the two of you all night. Eventually, enough was enough. You watched two of your young neighbors pull Jacob into the kitchen to get him a drink, clearly trying to convince the older boy that alcohol will temporarily solve his bad mood. As you stood, you were stopped by Kevin.

“Jacob has been spending a lot of time at my place.” He said, leaning in close to speak into your ear so you’d be able to hear him over the bustling noise of your party.

You looked at the boy with sad eyes. “He won’t talk to me. I’m assuming this is because I’m leaving.”

“Can’t get anything past you, huh?” Kevin teased in an attempt to lighten the mood.

You frowned as you stepped away from him, heading towards the kitchen to hopefully rescue a sober Jacob before Sunwoo and Eric got him too plastered. This impending conversation would need to be done sober.

Jacob was in somewhat better spirits when you located him in the kitchen. He was sandwiched between the two boys, and they were all laughing about something, you weren’t sure what.

“Jacob,” You spoke softly, so softly that Sunwoo and Eric didn’t hear. Jacob did, though. He always did.

Jacob let his eyes slowly trail up and down your body. You always looked so effortlessly beautiful. He was so enamored with you, it wasn’t even funny. Your call out to him by his full name was a distress call. You were upset, you were bothered, and he was the cause of it. Jacob hated that. He hated making you upset. Jacob was a very sensible person, he wasn’t one to fret too easily on things. He was a very good communicator. So for him to leave you in the dark for days was uncharacteristic of him. He just needed time to process everything.

Jacob cleared his throat in a sign for the two younger boys to make themselves scarce in the kitchen. He was buzzing on account of the two shots they had managed to get into his system, but he was still sober enough to have a conversation with you. The conversation.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Stupid question. He knew the answer, so why ever ask.

Your eyes rushed to his, darting back and forth as a look of confusion crossed over your face. “Okay? Okay? Why would I be okay when my boyfriend has been avoiding me for a week?”

Jacob flinched at your frustrated tone. Your voice had raised just slightly, loud enough to echo off the white kitchen walls decorated with gold accents, but not loud enough to stop the party that was still going strong hours later.

“I just need time.” Jacob said quietly.

You shrugged, throwing your hands in the air in the process. “Time for what? Time to not talk about our feelings and process things together?”

Jacob sighed. “You’re leaving.”

“Which we knew would happen if I got the internship.” You countered.

“Yeah. But I was expecting like six months, not sixteen. You’re going to be gone for almost two years.” Jacob raised his voice this time.

Long gone was the boy you fell in love with. This was a whole new Jacob that clearly had formed in the week that he was avoiding you. His statement had filtered out of the kitchen, catching the ears of passerby’s. Some stopped by the kitchen doors to crack it open and eavesdrop. It was rare that the two of you fought, opting to keep any issues you had behind closed doors so this was new territory to your friends.

You chuckled to yourself. “Jacob, I didn’t know the internship was going to be that long. Nor did I know they would be sending me all the way across the globe. I thought you’d be happy for me.”

“I am happy for you, but you can’t expect me to not be upset that the love of my life is going to be leaving.”

Tears began to prickle the corners of your eyes. You had never seen Jacob like this before, he had never spoken to you in such a stern tone. You weren’t sure what to do, but you just wanted to make him feel better.

“Okay, so I’ll give it up then. I won’t go. I wouldn’t be able to focus anyway if my boyfriend is heartbroken over the fact that I’m not with him.” You said.

By this time the music had stopped, people were listening in, or standing outside the now open kitchen door, watching.

“You don’t have to do that. And I won’t let you.” Jacob said.

Kevin had pushed his way through the crowd, almost knowing exactly what Jacob was going to say next, as he tried to stop the boy.

“I’m not going to let you give up your dream job for me. I would never let you do that.” Jacob began.

“Hey, maybe we should all just take a breather.” Kevin chimed in softly.

“I’m breaking up with you.” Jacob said quietly.

Your eyes widened at his statement. “What?”

Jacob looked down at his worn sneakers, the same ones you gifted him when you first started dating. The same sneakers you would always tell him you’d buy a new pair because no amount of washing was going to make them look better.

“I’m not letting you give this up for me. And if you won’t be able to focus knowing I won’t be able to function without you, then I’ll make the decision simple. No reason for you not to go if there isn’t a reason to stay.”

You took a step towards the boy, grabbing his hand as you sniffled. “Jacob, please. Don’t do this.”

Slowly, he pulled his hand from yours.

“It’s already done. Party’s over.”

That was the last thing Jacob had said to you before you left for your internship. He didn’t want to make the situation harder than it had to be, so he didn’t go with you to the airport. Your shared friends were not pleased by this. A final opportunity to see each other, and Jacob chose to let you leave on your own. No goodbye, no see you soon, no I love you. None of this was like Jacob, like your Jacob. You decided to just let bygones be bygones. You decided to suck it up, and you left.

The first few months were the hardest. You missed Jacob terribly. You avoided Chinese restaurants and frozen yogurt stores. Botanical gardens and zoos were a no go. Jacob felt the same way. Every little thing reminded him of you. What he didn’t realize was that eventually you became numb to the pain. You had to push on, even if you didn’t want to.

When you got your first promotion during your internship, you had to resist the overwhelming urge to call him. One because he was in a totally different timezone than Los Angeles, and two because you weren’t together anymore. You did call Kevin and Sangyeon, though. And they made sure to inform Jacob of your successes. Jacob couldn’t have been happier for you. Everything was working out for you. You updated Kevin and Sangyeon whenever you could on anything new and exciting while you were in the states. It became a habit to talk to them, and it was no longer because you knew they would tell Jacob. It was because you just wanted to tell someone about what’s going on. You made new friends, started going out again. From Jacob’s heard perspective, you were happy. That was good enough for him. Sort of.

The sixteen month internship went by fast. Before you knew it, it was time to come back home. Jacob had managed to make it an almost full two years without you. He clearly was not the same. He hid himself away, and didn't like going out with friends. It got to the point that Kevin and Sangyeon stopped updating him about you, because they refused to feel sorry for him anymore.

Jacob knew his friends well enough to know that they had been visiting you when you got back home. They probably weren’t telling him to spare his feelings, but he just wished they’d let him know how you were. He wanted to know everything. If you had changed, if you were going to go back to the states, if the internship was everything you had hoped it had been or more. He wanted, no, needed to see you. Thus came his chance.

“A party?” Jacob asked softly, staring down at the takeout Kevin had brought him.

Kevin shook his head with a shrug. “It’s more like a welcome home dinner. No heavy alcohol, no loud music. Just friends catching up with a friend. You should be there, Cob. We’d all want you there.”

Jacob looked up from his food. “We?”

Kevin nodded, giving Jacob a reassuring smile. “We.”

To say Jacob was nervous would be a vast understatement. He was pretty sure he was sweating from places he didn’t know he could sweat from. Everyone was already at the restaurant Kevin had picked for dinner. There was talking and laughing, hugging, some people notably crying. Jacob was greeted warmly by his friends, and for the first time in almost two years a genuine smile made its way to his face. He sat down next to Kevin, joining into the conversation before someone spoke.

“Look who’s here!”

Heads turned to the doorway of the back room everyone was in, and Jacob felt time stop. You looked ethereal, stunning. Your hair had grown. Your style had even changed, but you. You were still you. You still looked like you did when you left. A smile was adorning your round face. The bubbly pep in your step had Jacob smiling to himself. There was a slight flush on your face, most likely from the uncharacteristically warm weather outside. You were looking around, being pulled in every different direction imaginable by friends greeting you. That was until you saw him. When your eyes met, Jacob felt fireworks go off in his stomach. He had never felt so jittery in his life. It was like he had drunk the world's biggest and strongest red bull. A small smile made its way across your full lips as you lifted your hand, giving Jacob a small wave. Jacob returned it.

He stood up to greet you, ready to give you a hug and feel you in his arms again, but you were intercepted by Sunwoo and Eric. Jacob could only laugh. Of course the two youngest of your friends managed to get to you first. You let out a loud laugh as they tackled you, and butterflies bloomed in Jacob’s stomach this time. The sound of your laugh brought back so many memories that Jacob became glued to his spot. He watched the rest of your shared friends get up and greet you, hugging you tightly as if you’d dare to even leave again. It wasn’t until a tall figure appeared behind you that Jacob was eventually pulled back down to Earth. For the first time since you walked in the room all but five minutes ago, Jaocb’s eyes weren’t on you. Rather they were on the person, the man, who showed up behind you.

You stepped back from everyone and looked at the boy. He smiled at you before giving everyone else a smile as your friends warmly greeted him.

“This is Joshua! He was my roomie in the states. I figured I would bring him back so he could meet some of my favorite people.” You told everyone.

Jacob watched the way you two were looking at each other. He couldn’t read the look on your face, apparently you had gotten really good at masking your emotions while in the states. He was able to get a good read on Joshua’s face, though. The look he knew all too well, because he would give you the exact same look. You both managed to make your way through the sea of friends and sit at the large table set up for your party.

You ended up being seated right next to Jacob. Joshua sat across from you and was able to be bombarded by Kevin and your other friend Chanhee to tell his life story. This gave you an opportunity to give Jacob a look over before speaking.

“Hi Cobie.” You whispered softly.

As always, Jacob heard you. You could be a million miles away, and he would still hear you. You just had that effect on him.

He looked at you, finally getting an up close look and felt his breath catch in his throat. You looked perfect.

“Hi.”

A smile made its way to your face at the sound of his voice. “How have you been?”

Jacob smiled back. “I’ve been good.”

Jacob ended the conversation there, much to your dismay. He didn’t want to get into how he had been while you were gone. The truth is, he hadn’t been good at all. In fact, he had been an absolute wreck. He felt like he was trying to function without one of his limbs. He didn’t want to ruin your dinner, though.

The night went by smoothly. Everyone seemed to get along well with your friend, if that’s what he was that is. Jacob mainly kept to himself. Only getting a moment of silence when he excused himself to use the restroom. Kevin followed the boy, stopping him at the restroom door as he looked over Jacob.

“So are you two going to talk or just ignore each other the whole night?”

Jacob shook his head. “We have talked.”

Kevin scoffed. “That’s not what I meant. There are unresolved issues that need to be fixed. I’ll lock the both of you in the closest until they are.”

Jacob let out a sigh, knowing the boy was right. He sulked on the way back to the table, catching your eye in the process. He sat in silence for a moment, feeling your gaze on him. You let out a sigh before laying your hand on his arm.

“Maybe we should talk.”

Jacob looked at you as he nodded. You both stood up to excuse yourselves and headed for the entrance. When you both got outside, the silence of the dark night sky greeted you both. The moonlight cast shadows across your face that made your features pop. Jacob probably said this every time he saw you, but he was still convinced he had never seen you look more beautiful than you did in this moment.

“How were the states?” Jacob asked, breaking the silence first.

You smiled, turning to him as you tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “It was amazing. I learned so much. Made new friends, experienced new things. I missed home, though.”

Jacob nodded. “You missed your friends.”

A small nod followed his statement. “I missed you, Jacob.”

The boy could only look at you before finally letting it all out. “I’ve missed you. So much. You remember earlier you asked me how I was doing. I told you I’m doing okay, but the truth is, I’ve been absolutely terrible. I literally just got back into a healthy eating and sleeping routine again. When you went to the states, you took a piece of me with you. I never wanted to leave our, I mean, my apartment. I stayed inside all the time. I practically became a recluse. I turned down every offer to go out and spend time with friends. Kevin even tried inviting my family, but it was enough. I thought I would be able to handle ending our relationship. I would never want to hold you back and when you mentioned giving up your internship just to make me happy, I panicked. I was afraid you’d end up resenting me in the long run. I figured I might as well break up with you, because I knew you would leave. There would be nothing to keep you here.”

“You’re wrong.” You whispered.

Jacob gave you a confused look. “I am?”

You chuckled. “Yes. I’ve always had a reason to not leave home, and it’s you Jacob. It’s always been you.”

You stopped only to open your mouth and then close it again just so you could formulate your feelings correctly. “Jacob, I learned a lot about myself while I was in the states. I learned a lot about myself as a person, and I learned a lot about what I want in my life and my career. A lot of things changed for me for the better while I was away, but the one thing that didn’t change was the strength of my feelings for you. The love I have for you, how in love with you I am, that never once wavered. I didn’t even bother trying to find a way to get over you because no one would’ve compared.”

“Not even Joshua?”

His comment made you laugh as you took a step towards him. Jacob took the opportunity to wrap his arms tightly around your waist, trapping you against his chest.

“Not even Joshua, Cobie. He’s just a friend. I promise. I love you, Jacob Bae.” You told him, inching yourself closer and closer until your nose was bumping against his.

Jacob grinned, laying a long passionate kiss to your lips. You practically melted against him, dragging your hands up his chest and to his shoulders before wrapping them around his neck. You tugged ever so gently at the hair sitting at the nape of his neck, making the boy shiver. You pulled away from him, giggling slightly as he whined quietly and tried to chase after your lips.

“Easy tiger. Plenty of me to go around.” You told him jokingly.

Jacob let out a breathy laugh, tightening his grip around you. “I’m not sharing you with anyone. Not Joshua or the states. I’m dragging you back to our apartment and locking the door.”

He lifted you just slightly off the ground, giving you another kiss before he pulled away this time. “I love you, too.”

all the fics belong to @deobienthusiast and are protected under copyright- absolutely no translating/reposting or claiming my work as your own.

#deoboyznet #kvanity #k-labels #wkcnet #the boyz #tbz #the boyz jacob #tbz jacob #bae joonyoung #jacob bae #the boyz imagines #tbz imagines #tbz scenarios #tbz x reader #tbz x y/n #tbz x you #tbz jacob imagines #tbz jacob x you #tbz jacob x reader

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adidastain · 6 months

Text

moron

90s trey parker x fem!reader (y/n)

warnings: angst, indirect sexual harassment, implied alcohol & drug use, smut (vaginal penetration), virginity loss, violence (trey gets smacked for being a a perv)

notes: first person perspective (I, me, my, etc.); the beginning is kind of rough so just bear with me. also this is a oneshot but oh my god why is it so fucking long; he looks like such a faggot in the image its so funny

word count: SEVEN THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED NINETY FOUR (7194)

—

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Trey responded, seemingly not wanting to risk getting any more messed up on another dare. His temples looked sweaty and his entire body was limp and relaxed, flush with the back of his chair. I, personally, was miles away. I was the only girl left at this party (if you could even call it a “party”; there were only about seven people at this point) and it was way too late for me to be awake.

“What’s your ideal type?” Our friend, Dian, asked him. “Like the woman of your dreams.”

Matt laughed, keeping his eyes closed as he too was completely relaxed and almost melting into the couch. I kept my gaze on Trey, watching his lips curl into a devilish smile as he finished his thought process and formed an answer.

“Virgin,” He said simply. Something about his tone and the way his face looked as he and the other guys laughed it out made my face burn up. Not in a good way. I wanted to shoot myself in the head.

Matt, Trey, and a few other guys all just chuckled, seemingly agreeing with each other. It was like I wasn’t even there. Granted, I barely was, and in their defense, none of them could have known that I myself had never had sex before. But I figured this was a conversation they would save for a “boy’s night.” Maybe they were too far from sober to care.

“It can’t be that good,” Dian argued. I wasn’t entirely sure if he had actually ever had sex or not either. Not that I cared. I didn’t know him that well anyway.

“It is,” Matt and Trey said in unison. My gaze stuck to my hands in my lap, trying to check out of the conversation and humming What’s Up? while plugging one of my ears. It wasn’t uncommon for the boys to be pervy like this even while I’m around, but ever since I moved in with them, it’s been happening way more often and it was starting to get old.

“It’s insane,” Matt said calmly, tilting his head back. “They get so worked up over basically nothing.”

“Drenched in like, two seconds,” Trey added.

For some reason, I felt betrayed. I didn’t really care what Matt had to say; I knew he got around a lot and I’m pretty sure he thought I was lesbian anyway. Trey’s words hit me harder. We’d been friends since we were 16 and he’d stood up for me on multiple occasions, when drunk assholes at bars or parties would try to make moves on me. Maybe he just wanted to show off. He was being ignorant at my expense.

I cracked my knuckles and tilted my head to pop my neck on either side, not getting any sense of relief or a satisfying pop in any of my efforts. I was still tense and stiff. I was still uncomfortable.

“Dude and once you get in there… fuck, man,” Matt mumbled, hitting his fist against the coffee table.

Trey nodded, grinning. “That’s the best fucking part-”

The blonde yelped slightly as my hand collided with the back of his head, causing his entire body to jerk forward and the room to go quiet.

“I’m a virgin, you asshole!” I shouted, staring down at him. His eyes held a pretty intense look of shock, fear, and anger, before subtly shifting more towards a guilty, cowardly look. “Just ‘cause I live here now doesn’t mean you guys can talk about shit like that in front of me! Wait till I’m asleep or something, fuck!”

By the time my sentence was almost over, I had tears streaming down my face. I instantly regretted hitting him, but I’d already reacted before I even thought about how I was going to react. All the nights where I went to bed irritated and just let them talk like that were just piling up and finally toppled over. My feet carried me to my bedroom before my hands slammed the door shut behind me. I paced around, waving my hands and forcing deep breaths through my nose as I cried.

The panic came from the shock of my own reaction. I can’t believe I hit him. That was so embarrassing too, the way I’d yelled and started crying right after. They must all think I’m psycho.

I let my hair out of my claw clip and threw it on the floor, taking deep breath after deep breath until I stopped crying and my eyes were puffy. I still very much felt that swell in my throat that threatened more tears. I was far from done crying, but I forced myself to stop before my makeup got any more fucked up and I looked like a pile of sad shit.

Why did I even care? I lived there. It shouldn’t have mattered to me how I looked. I could kick those people out if I wanted to. They didn’t have to see my face, red, puffy and wet from tears.

“Y/N?” I heard an unmistakable voice outside my door. I knew exactly who it was. “It’s Trey, um… Can you let me in?”

I swallowed back the remaining tears, rolling my eyes before wiping my face on the black baby tank I was wearing. I stood in the doorway as I opened the door, preventing him from taking any steps further into my space. His head immediately snapped up from looking at his feet to looking in my eyes, where he likely found the most annoyed, unamused, impatient, pissed off gaze he’d ever seen.

“M-Matt told me to apologize,” He mumbled, looking down at his hands as they fidgeted with themselves. His blonde hair was messy and hung low over his face, partially covering his eyes and eyebrows.

“Hmph. At least Matt can read a room,” I muttered. I knew that Trey could read a room too, it just was that, more often than not, he didn’t care to and liked to push people’s boundaries sometimes. Now was one of those rare situations where he crossed the line before Matt could stop him.

This only made Trey more ashamed, it seemed. He laughed slightly, his face smushed into his palms.

“It’s not funny,” I told him, crossing my arms. My heart had started beating faster since I’d stopped crying. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna cry again, if I was mad at Trey, or something else. “You’re fucking gross. All of you.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” He said, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry.”

His apology still felt fake. I knew he was shit at apologizing, since it was pretty much against what he stood for, but you would think he’d be able to apologize to his best friend of almost ten years. Then again, maybe I overestimated him.

“...Have you been crying?” Trey asked cautiously.

“No, this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me. YES, I’ve been crying, fucking dick,” I mumbled. “You’ve been the person I trust the most for the past nine years and suddenly that feeling is long gone. It’s kind of fucking heartbreaking, Trey. I can’t even look at you without feeling gross.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. Trey just looked down, swallowing harshly as he rubbed the back of his head. That reminded me.

“Bet that hurts,” I said coldly. I hid the genuine concern I felt for him behind my harsh tone, not wanting him to know that I did feel guilty about hitting him. I just hoped he knew that he kind of deserved it.

“Yeah, like a bitch,” He laughed. “Not the worst I’ve taken, though.”

“I can hit you harder,” I offered, shrugging.

“If I say something gross will you hit me as hard as you can?” He asked me, caressing his chin as he thought. Somehow he’d managed to distract me from why I was even upset. I let him in my room and closed the door behind me, nodding in response to his question as I prepared my hand.

“Okay, um…” he said. He sounded antsy and… excited. I was starting to feel a little better; maybe this was his way of entertaining me in order to stop me from being upset anymore.

He did this when we were teenagers too. He’d do stupid things to himself or make fun of himself to make me laugh. Trey rarely ever confronted me about my feelings and asked what was wrong. He would just try to fix it. We were a lot closer back then; many nights I’d accidentally fall asleep against him after crying for several hours. His arms around me, hands stroking my hair, heart beating against mine…

Now we were adults and everything had to be crude all the time. The true “man” in him really started to shine through once I began hanging out with him and Matt, and eventually started living with them. I guess the fact that I was a virgin somehow never came up between me and Trey or anybody, really. I had no girl friends.

“Hmm… You’re taking too long. I don’t wanna hit you anymore,” I stated, turning towards my door. I never wanted to hit you in the first place.

“No, no! Wait, just wait. Hold on,” he told me, holding my forearm. He was much closer to me now, having pulled me away from the door as he grabbed me and subconsciously held me closer. I felt my cheeks turn red as he leaned in, giggling slightly, and whispered, “I bet your… I bet you would… you’d feel so good, um, wrapped… wrapped around… I don’t know.”

Trey couldn’t even get through the sentence without laughing, pausing every few words to giggle. Unfortunately, his laughter was contagious and caused me to start giggling as well. His hand moved up to my upper arm as his forehead met my shoulder.

“You fucking dick,” I said, relaxing my hands. My arms slid over his waist to wrap around his torso. “I hate you. Don’t say shit like that again.”

His laughter calmed and he leaned back, looking in my eyes. “I won’t. I-I am really sorry. I’m sure Matt is too. We didn’t know-”

“I know. It’s fine,” I said, almost whispering. “And I don’t really give a fuck about Matt. It’s you that I think needs to be taught a lesson.”

Trey’s face lit up slightly, his wide eyes widening further. The blonde grew a devilish smirk. “And what lesson is that? Sharing is caring? Treat others how you wanna be treated?”

“To shut up once in a while,” I said, putting my hand over his mouth. “You might get more girls if you’re not constantly making jokes about how tight their vagina is, hm?”

Trey scoffed. “I don’t need ‘girls’. I’ll have you someday,” he stated, poking my nose with his fingertip.

My hand met his cheek in a lighter, but still harsh, playful slap, before I let go of him and took a step back. “Excuse me?” I laughed, feeling my face burn again. This time, in a good way.

“The only girl I need is right in front of me,” He beamed, clear mischief present in his eyes. “And… And I know I’ve messed up a few times but I’m still waiting for her. I always have been.”

Suddenly his tone became softer and more serious. His smile was replaced with a nervous bite of his lower lip.

Tonight was a fucking roller coaster and I felt like I didn’t have a seatbelt on.

“Trey…” I squeaked, watching as he took a single step closer to me.

He ignored me. “And I feel like an idiot around her. I am an idiot,” He laughed, swallowing harshly. His eyes darted around my face, looking for my reaction. I was frozen in shock. “And now I’m messing it up again.”

“She’s here,” I said softly, holding my arms tensely. The situation was completely foreign and completely out of left field. “She misses you. E-Even though you never really went anywhere…”

I backed up against the wall next to my door. “And she feels safe with you. Even though you’re an idiot sometimes,” I said, smiling slightly. Trey laughed and came closer to me, continuing to speak as his hands carefully caressed my waist.

“I miss her too,” He whispered, leaning closer. “And… And I wanna taste her lips so bad.”

I felt his forehead collide with mine and his body move closer, his hands softly squeezing my torso. This was not the first time we’d been in this position, believe it or not; we just didn’t go any further. That fateful night at the club after our first day at college had been blocked out from my memory for the past seven years, until right about now.

“She wants you to kiss her,” I whispered, staring at his lips. “So bad.”

Without much more hesitation, Trey leaned forward, just barely grazing my lips with his to see my reaction. More, I thought as hard as I could, hoping he’d be able to read my mind. His eyelids lowered and he smiled, kissing me again.

I exhaled, not realizing how long I’d been holding my breath. My body sort of melted as he kissed me more, his right hand moving up to caress my face while his left held tight onto me, pulling himself closer. Trey kissed me gently, but with haste.

“I guess you have a thing for virgins?” I laughed slightly, humming as he kissed me again and carefully started to lift up my shirt. I let him run his warm hands underneath the fabric and explore my body, while his mouth started to venture onto my neck and shoulders. My own hands ran through his hair, which was still slightly damp from the shower he took in the middle of the “party” he was supposed to be hosting. There was something wrong with him.

Trey lowered his voice, moving his lips right over my ear. “Sorta. Not ‘cause they're tight or anything, though,” He explained softly, tracing small circles into my hips. “If I tell you the real reason, you can’t judge me. At all.”

He pulled away from my neck, looking me in the eyes to see if I would agree. “Talk to me,” I said, twirling a strand of his hair on the back of his neck.

Trey leaned back in, pressing his nose against my forehead. “I just like the feeling of… like, feeling like I’m turning them to like, the dark side,” He said, laughing slightly at his word choice. “That’s a stupid way to put it, but y’know.”

“You like corruption,” I said simply, raising my eyebrows at him to tease him. Idiot.

“...Yes,” he said, sounding slightly unsure. “Something like that.”

“Weirdo,” I joked, pushing him off of me slightly. In reality, I sort of liked having a conversation like this with him. It made me realize how much I didn’t know about him, despite calling him my best friend for the past decade. Maybe these were the kinds of things only… more-than-friends would have.

He laughed, diving back in to kiss me while his hands worked through my hair, his teeth grazing my bottom lip.

“Have you french-kissed before?” he asked me, barely leaving me any space to answer as he kept smothering my lips with his.

“Yes, Trey. I’m not twelve,” I answered, not letting his tongue into my mouth despite his best efforts. I liked the feeling of him desperately trying to push through my lips, then giving up, then trying again.

“How would I know? A virgin at 25…” He said defensively. “You might as well be Mormon at this rate.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. He had a weird thing about Mormons. Maybe it was related to the corruption thing. He just laughed, grabbing my jaw with his whole hand so he could stick his tongue in my mouth. Fuck. Fucking dick caught me off-guard.

I let him explore my mouth with his tongue, the muscle warm and wet; he tasted like tequila. It was fucking intoxicating.

Unfortunately, my reaction to the sensation was much more vocal than I wanted it to be. I softly moaned in bliss, his mouth attached to mine as the noise escaped me. I felt him smile and open his mouth up wider, encouraging me to take my own turn exploring his mouth. Trey’s hand slid down from my jaw onto my neck, softly grasping my throat and applying little to no pressure, just holding it. I was unsure whether he genuinely wanted to treat me like glass or if he was just holding back his violent urges and secretly wanted to choke me.

“I’m not having sex with you, by the way,” I stated, pushing him away by his chest. I tried to ignore how his lips glistened from the excessive amount of saliva built up from our exchange. His face was flushed and his eyes looked slightly sad, but tired, and definitely not sober.

“Why not?” he asked, whining. I pushed past him, taking a look at myself in the mirror. My shirt had ridden up to the middle of my ribs, my hair was messy, makeup smudged, neck and shoulders decorated with a few small bruises that I could only blame on one person. Thanks a lot, dick, I thought, scoffing.

“‘Cause you’re gross,” I stated, leaning against the edge of my bed while putting a hoodie on to cover my freshly assaulted shoulders. I pushed myself up so I was fully sitting as Trey came closer to me and got down on his knees.

“What if I let you sit on my face?” He asked, giving me puppy eyes while his hands caressed my calves. His touch was gentle and gave me butterflies.

“Tempting,” I hummed, tapping my bottom lip with my index finger. I ran my hand through his hair, as if he was about to suck my dick or something. I laughed to myself as I imagined this. Trey Parker, on his knees, sucking silicone cock. “What if you suffocate?”

“I’ll die in bliss,” He stated, tilting his head back as he reveled in the feeling of my fingers in his hair. He was really determined. I could tell that he probably wasn’t gonna give up either. Too bad, though. I wasn’t finished teasing him yet. Munch.

“You’re disgusting,” I said, raising my eyebrows matter-of-factly and flicking him in the forehead. I swung my legs to the side, standing up off the bed next to where he was kneeling. I started towards the door, waiting to hear him scramble to his feet and stop me in my tracks. He was too predictable.

“I’ve been wanting this since we were in 10th grade,” He told me, grabbing my wrist before I could open the door. “I’ll be gentle,” he added, waiting for my response. “I promise.”

“I believe you,” I said. “I trust you. You’re just not quite what I imagined for my first time.” I gave him a passive-aggressive smile of sympathy. I was full of shit, of course. Thinking about it, the only person I would ever want to take my virginity was Trey. I thought that maybe I’d been subconsciously saving it for him this entire time without even realizing.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asked, clearly offended. He laughed it off, but his face told a different story. His cheeks were wildly flushed and his eyebrows were deeply furrowed. Was I really that convincing?

I rolled my eyes, kissing him softly. “I was joking, moron,” I said, locking my bedroom door.

It was then that he looked at me with probably the most awestruck, wide-eyed gaze I’d ever seen from him, his pupils having blown three sizes once I pulled away. I simply giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck as I kissed him again. “You have to tell me the password.”

“Password?” He asked, laughing. “Pussy password?”

“Yep. You’ll never guess it,” I stated, running my hands gently down his body.

Trey took a moment to think, looking up at the ceiling.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph McCarthy,” He guessed. My face turned red.

Fuck.

“You can’t beat me, Y/N. I’m always five steps ahead of you,” He laughed, hooking his hands under my knees to lift me up and carry me to my bed, which was a complete disaster as blankets, sheets, clothes and pillows were strewn in every direction.

“How the fuck did you guess that?” I whispered rhetorically, so shocked that I didn’t even register that he was now on top of me, having laid me down right where I usually sleep.

“You only said it like, a million times over the whole two weeks when we were reading The Crucible in English. D’you still think that’s the funniest thing ever?” He teased me, straddling my hips. I suddenly felt fatally nervous being under him. Maybe I didn’t want this. “I figured it would either be that or ‘San-Fransican Kegflip’-”

“Stop,” I choked out. “Stop for a second.”

Trey paused, confused for a fraction of a moment before shutting his mouth and moving to the side. I bent my knees, closing my legs and covering my face with my arms. I felt like I was going to cry again. For some reason, the idea of finally losing my virginity had me about ready to shit myself, I was so scared. I trusted Trey, of course, but this was just… so new. What if he sucked in bed and I was overestimating him? That would be funny, but it would probably make for the worst virginity story anyone had ever heard. You waiting ten years to fuck your best friend and it wasn’t even good? Just shoot me in the head, why don’t you.

“Sorry,” I laughed, feeling my body start to tremble.

“Don’t be, hey,” He said softly, scooting closer to me. “You don’t have to do this. We don’t have to do this. Even though I totally guessed the pussy password right on the first try.”

I could hear the boastful smile in his voice, causing me to smile too. He couldn’t see it. “Shut up,” was all I could think to say.

I could sense that he’d shut his mouth and backed off. “...Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

“No,” I answered quickly. “Please don’t.”

My body shot upward, facing him. My hands held his arms, caressing the warm skin and toned muscle as he looked at me with patient eyes. My own were welling up with tears as my entire body vibrated.

“I’m scared,” I laughed, pulling his arm as I laid back down. Trey climbed on top of me again, caressing my face and neck. I felt the lump in my throat swell as he kissed my forehead and cheeks.

“Am I scary?” He asked me, his voice soft. He didn’t make any further advances, he just kissed me a few times and held my hands.

“You wish you were,” I laughed, grinning as I found the courage to touch him again. My hands rested on either side of his neck, rubbing the soft, freckled skin of his jaw and shoulders. “I just wanna get this over with.”

“You really don’t have to do-”

“No, let’s do it,” I said, taking a deep breath. “It’s been long enough. I think we’re way past the point of no return anyway.”

I sat up, pulling him into a kiss, until he gently pushed me away by my waist, looking me deep in the eyes.

“Are you sure-”

“Please fuck me, Trey,” I whispered slowly. “Make me bad.”

The blonde just sat there, our faces inches apart, his eyes wide and absolutely dumbfounded. I wasn’t sure why he was surprised. Maybe ‘cause I smacked him twenty minutes ago for talking about wanting to take someone’s virginity.

“You can still change your mind,” he sighed, obliging and laying me down while pulling my hips up so my ass rested on the top of his lap. I could see the smirk he was trying so hard to contain. “Let’s get these off first.”

I lifted the humongous hoodie up and over my head, looking up as Trey got to work at my skirt and underwear. He removed them pretty easily, lifting my legs up so that my ankles were resting on his shoulders. I had to admit, the sight was something straight out of one of those movies. Him, still fully clothed in a snug gray T-shirt that did wonders for his chest and arms, and me, pantsless with my legs propped up on his shoulders and my bare fucking vagina on full display.

I thought I could see Trey’s eyes intentionally avoiding the area as his warm hands slid up the sides of my body from my freshly bared hips. He remained focused on my still clothed chest, my shirt riding up higher and higher as he massaged my torso. “Here,” He hummed, moving my legs so that they were wrapped around his hips.

My mind was pretty much blank as I stared at our hips, my naked crotch only inches away from his own clothed one. I was interrupted however, by a soft pair of lips pushing against my jaw so my head would tilt back.

“You look really pretty,” he mumbled sweetly, kissing my throat with basically no pressure. I hummed in bliss, running my fingers through his hair. I then laughed, realizing the irony of the situation. I’d basically just had a panic attack right before he came into my room, and now he was on top of me, telling me I looked pretty.

“Just ‘cause I trust you doesn’t mean you can lie,” I grinned, sliding my hands up his biceps and underneath his sleeves, lightly squeezing the muscle as it flexed at my touch.

“You’re so-” Trey started, a teasingly annoyed tone in his voice. “Just be quiet.”

I pulled him in for a kiss again, gently tugging on his hair. I heard him groan softly, causing my body to heat up. I’d gone further than I ever had with anyone at that point, especially once he took his shirt off.

He wasn’t exactly fit but he was definitely muscular. Light brown hairs covered his upper chest and trailed all the way down into his pants. I could see the waistband of his plaid boxers sticking out from under his jeans, held snugly to his hips by an old black belt. At that point I don’t think I was able to form coherent words anymore. I was too nervous to encourage him to keep going, but I was too excited to tell him to slow down.

“Are you okay with this?” he asked me, sitting up against his heels so his body towered over mine. His right hand reached up to rub the back of his neck, while his left held a gentle grasp on my thigh. I nodded, swallowing harshly. I could see him blushing, the sight giving me a little more confidence. Enough to tease him some more.

“Are you nervous?” I asked him, propping myself up on my elbows before he pushed me back down and started kissing my neck.

“About what?” he asked, huffing slightly. I held onto his broad chest, massaging his shoulders and tracing each muscle and bone.

“Taking my virginity,” I answered. “This isn’t your first time doing someone during their first time, is it?” I acted as though taking someone’s virginity was just as infamous as losing it.

Trey chuckled, pulling my shirt up. “If it weren’t you underneath me, I think I’d feel better. Sit up,” he said. I obeyed him, allowing him to pull my shirt off completely, exposing the little pink lounge bra I’d been wearing all day. He held my neck and kissed my forehead as I reached behind my back to undo the clasp and slide it off my shoulders, rendering me completely naked beneath him.

Now the nerves were back. I swallowed harshly, staring down at his hips as he undid the buckle of his belt, moving one hand to rub slowly up and down my stomach as the other pulled the leather strap out from the confines of his jeans. His head was tilted down, all of his focus devoted to the task of getting his pants off.

Suddenly, his eyes met mine, and he smiled shyly. Fucking Christ.

I remembered the night we went to prom. I wasn’t his date and he wasn’t mine; he had his own date, but he and I showed up together, since we only lived three houses away from each other. I recalled the moment I opened my front door to see him at my doorstep, wearing a white suit with black pants and dark green accents. I told him he looked nice, and he smiled shyly. I guess we were both a lot more innocent back then.

“You okay?” He asked, stroking my knees. I’d zoned out and not realized that he was just in his boxers now, waiting for my permission to proceed. I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest. Trey noticed, smiling slightly.

“Is it cool if I, um, finger you? For like, prep?” He asked me, adjusting his boxers slightly.

“What are you gonna do if I say no?” I asked, smiling.

“Fuck off, I dunno,” he laughed.

I sat up and kissed him, pushing his chest so that he’d lay back, but he just took the kiss and grabbed my hand, confused. “What are you doing?”

“I’ll be on top,” I offered. “That way you don’t have to keep stopping to ask if I’m okay.”

“That is not how it works,” he laughed, raising his eyebrows. “But go ahead.”

He laid back against my pillows, half sitting up with his head and shoulders against my headboard. Trey watched me intently as I crawled on top of him, unsure of what to do with my hands as I moved. I felt like I was put in a spotlight, shyness overcoming me as my eyes met his. He just stared at me with a soft, awestruck gaze, his hands lightly stroking my thighs.

My hair fell in front of my face as I leaned down to kiss him, my shoulders tense as I propped myself up with pin-straight arms to keep my weight off him. I felt him smile in the kiss, chuckling as his hands moved up to my hips and caressed my ass ever so slightly.

“You can sit on me, you know,” he said, looking up at me. Trey pulled my hips closer, lifting his own up slightly to shift his position and make himself more comfortable, holding in part of a grunt. “Just relax. Stop if you need to.”

“You’re not making me very bad right now,” I stated, kissing his throat. “Are you stalling?”

“I think you’re stalling, sweetheart,” He countered, tugging my hips into his again, harsher this time. My heart skipped a beat at the action and the fire in my stomach practically exploded. “I would have finished with you twice by now. Maybe three times.”

He was finally starting to get impatient. For some reason, deep down, I liked the idea of him rushing me. Just imagining it caused my adrenaline to kick in and my heartrate to pick up.

I took a deep breath, nerves building up again. Without looking, I held my breath, pulling the waistband of his boxers down just enough for his cock to slide out and present itself to me. I heard Trey gasp, seeming genuinely surprised.

This was happening.

“I-I don’t have condoms,” I said, swallowing harshly.

“I do,” he huffed, his breath having picked up in pace. “In my bedroom.”

Fuck. I didn’t want him to have to go get them and I certainly wasn’t going to go fetch them myself. I weighed my options as quickly as my brain would allow; either risk getting caught and interrogated, or risk getting pregnant. Humiliation, or bearing my best friend’s child. Only one of those options could be truly reversed.

“It’s fine,” I shook my head, fixing my hair. I stared at his stomach as he breathed rapidly.

“You sure? I can go get them real quick-”

“I trust you,” I told him, tracing small circles in his hips. His body shivered, before he sat up, causing the muscles in his abdomen to flex. Trey leaned in close, his lips grazing my ear.

“I’m dead fucking serious, Y/N,” he whispered. “Are you sure? 100% sure?”

I nodded quickly. I really was. I really wanted him. The past nine years had been taunting me all night. “I trust you.”

Trey looked in my eyes, searching for any twitches or other movements that might hint at me lying, but he found none. I gave him a look of longing, my eyelids low as I looked from his eyes, to his lips, to his body, and back up again.

“Let me get on top,” he whispered.

Without hesitation, I listened to him, holding his torso as he crawled on top of me once again, his hair tickling my face. His head was tilted down, staring intently at his piece which he took so much care to prepare, stroking it slowly.

I knew what was about to happen. I knew how it was going to feel, and I dreaded it. I’m sure this wasn’t new at all, either. According to him and Matt, this was the best part.

“It’s gonna sting,” He said, swallowing harshly. He looked incredibly nervous. Possibly more than me. Why? “I’m gonna try to be gentle.”

I just nodded. Holy fucking fuck shit fuck holy fuck. It was finally happening. For real. Literally. It was actually literally happening. He was about to be inside of me. What the fuck.

I put my hand over my eyes, holding my breath as I felt him shift, waiting for the pain to start.

Trey lowered my hand, placing it on his arm. “I want you to see,” He whispered, kissing my forehead. “Breathe.”

I felt like I could cry and I wasn’t even in pain yet. Maybe it was the fact that the man I trusted so much and felt so safe with was making me feel extra safe in such a dangerous, foreign situation. Then I started to feel it.

A wince left my throat pretty much immediately after he started pushing in. It felt like I was being ripped in half by the legs. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, kissing my neck and all over my cheek.

He paused, giving me a bit of a break to adjust. I held my palms over my face as tears welled up in my eyes. No wonder I waited till I was 25.

It wasn’t long before he started moving again, slower than fucking molasses, until he bottomed out. Trey propped himself up on his elbows, kissing my neck again.

“I bet you’d feel so good wrapped around my cock you pretty virgin whore,” He said in a dumb voice. I laughed, partially crying through it. It still hurt to move, despite Trey’s efforts to soothe me through gentle kisses all up and down my neck while he traced circles into my hips.

“I definitely would have smacked the shit out of you,” I said, my voice breaking.

“Well, I was right, so,” He bragged, grinning like a cocky piece of shit. Douchebag.

“Don’t test me, Parker,” I warned him. “Once I can move without splitting in half, you’re a dead man.”

He cocked his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows. “I’ll keep that in mind later when you’re begging me to stop teasing you,” he mumbled, kissing me.

I stopped arguing, just reveling in the feeling of his lips on mine. That was a much better feeling than the sharp pain in my hips, which actually, was starting to feel a little less intense. I opened my mouth for him to slip his tongue into once again, hoping he would start moving by himself without me having to ask him to.

Trey groaned slightly, kissing me harder. My legs wrapped carefully around his waist, attempting to pull him closer without fucking up the more comfortable position I was already in. My prayers were answered and the idiot took the hint, slowly drawing his dick out, and even more slowly, pushing it back in.

“Pull my hair,” he mumbled quickly, leaving my lips for my neck. Now his nose was right up against my ear and I could hear every single breath he drew in and pushed back out. They were strangled, like he kept holding in inhales and exhaling in short, harsh breaths. My fingers worked their way from the base of his neck, moving upward to gather as much hair between them as I could, and clenched my fist as tight as possible. Trey whimpered; it was high-pitched and almost girly. If I didn’t hear it again in the next few seconds I would die.

Without telling him, he had already sort of picked up the pace, burying his mouth into my neck and shoulders. I felt his hand press flat against the lower part of my stomach, applying light but very noticeable pressure to the area as he continued to fuck me.

“If you were any tighter I think my dick would lose circulation,” He huffed, looking at me. I could see his temples glistening from sweat.

“If you were any bigger I think I would fucking die,” I countered, resting my head back to look at the ceiling. His lips had left damp spots on my neck that started to feel cold, giving me chills.

“I think you might be the best I’ve had,” he whispered, mumbling into my neck. His voice carried so much passion. I felt like crying again. No surprise there.

“Same,” I grinned. “You’re the only one I’ve had.”

“Can I go faster?” he asked, ignoring me.

I nodded, holding his head close to me. I stared at the ceiling, my entire body rocking slightly as Trey’s hips collided with mine again and again. My eyes fell shut as he started moving faster, and inevitably deeper.

He was a lot less vocal than I’d hoped. Likely because he didn’t want us to get caught and/or interrogated. Plus, I knew how loud Matt could be at times… in fact out of the two I only ever recalled hearing Matt.

Without even realizing, my back arched upward as the most electrifying wave of pleasure shot through my entire body, causing me to gasp and moan at an unfortunate volume. Trey had sent a harsh, pointed thrust into me, hitting that infamous spot with great force and friction.

“Mm-hmm,” He hummed, acting like he knew I would react that way. Embarrassment washed over me at the vulgar noise that had just erupted from me, but there wasn’t much I could do to protest except bite the back of my hand while Trey fucked me harder and harder, pushing similar sounds out of me.

“Fuck, fuck… fuck… Trey- mmnh,” were just a few things among the obscenities that erupted from my throat as he just pushed me closer to the edge.

“You’re doing so good,” He whispered, kissing a spot under my ear that gave me goosebumps.

I pulled his hair again, hoping to earn another one of those ridiculously pathetic sounds that was burying so deeply within him. His hair was soft and slid so nicely between my fingers; the feeling and scent were almost enough to make me cum right then.

I tugged on a chunk of his hair, causing him to whimper again, then causing me to arch my back as I felt my orgasm rushing through my body, and then causing him to fuck me faster still.

I think I saw my entire life flash before my eyes once I felt his middle and ring fingers dip between my legs and rub circles against my clit, pressing on it and pinching it ever slightly. The high hit me like a bus and I shoved my wrist into my mouth, crying out his name as my body twitched and the knot came undone within me.

“So… pretty… fuck-” he groaned, his rhythm faltering to a stutter as he started to get close too. A sharp pain struck my lower half as he quickly pulled out and came all over my hips and thigh. That worked out nicely, except now my sheets are fucking sticky and I’m covered in this fuckwad’s children.

I thought it was incredible how, even though this guy managed to make me scream his name in a way that you’d only hear in special types of movies, I still managed to think of him as a worm. No brain and no spine (occasionally). I still loved him, of course. No matter how much I hated him. He was still my Trey.

“Aren’t you just the tidiest?” I said sarcastically, catching my breath. I ran my fingertip through some of his spill, rubbing it between my fingers. It was hot and sticky, but sort of… silky. It was weird and I liked it a lot. Especially since it was his.

“Shut up, woman. Jesus,” he huffed, laughing.

There was a knock at my bedroom door. “Y/N? Trey? You guys okay?” It was Matt, inebriated.

I looked at Trey, fear in both of our eyes, until I spoke up, “You know what, fuck you! You’re a piece of shit pig! I don’t even know why I moved in with you in the first place!”

Trey’s face only read as pure shock as I spoke, but it worked, and Matt walked away. “Wow, okay. I guess not,” He’d said.

“You’re a good actor,” Trey told me, brushing my hair out of my face.

“Hmm, I guess. But you don’t want me anymore, do you?” I said jokingly, pouting.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, grinning.

“‘Cause I’m not a virgin anymore,” I said, giving him the biggest doe eyes I possibly could.

“Oh, oh, right. Yeah, that does change things,” He said, biting his finger. “I think I’m about finished with you know. Goodbye!”

He sat up to leave the room, until I whacked his arm and pulled him back down next to me. I knew he was joking. He knew he was stuck with me forever.

“You can’t go bragging to everyone just yet,” I told him. “Slow down.”

Trey scoffed. “I’m not telling them jack. All they’ll do is ask questions that I won’t answer.”

“They have to find out eventually,” I said.

“Says who?”

“Says God,” I shrugged in a nothing-I-can-do-about-it sort of manner.

“God is dead,” Trey said, grimacing.

I grinned, leaning forward to kiss him. “You’re never getting rid of me, Trey Parker.”

“That’s fine with me,” he said, pulling me in for another kiss.

#i can write a 7k+ word long trey fic in 1 day #but i can’t write a 2.5k word long matt fic in 5 days #what the fuck #trey parker #trey parker x reader #x reader #fanfiction #fem reader #fluff #smut #baseketball #cannibal the musical #south park #matt stone x reader #angst #mattrey

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dirtybitfic · 4 months

Text

RAVE

Chris sturniolo x fem reader

(Story line- you go to a rave and someone kissed you but something happens after the kiss and you bump into your celebrity crush Chris sturniolo as your spiraling.)

Contains- drugs, throwing up, flirting and kissing

Pink-you

Orange-Chris

Red-your best-friend

Purple-Nick

Blue-Matt

Green- the guy you end up kissing and anyone else at the rave who compliments you and shit.

You and your bestfriend had dreamed of going to a rave for years but you never managed to actually get tickets but this year you got lucky and got tickets for your dream rave .

ELECTRIC FOREST .

You had rented an air bnb kind of close to the festival cause camping did not sound appealing to either of you.

You had just gotten ready and decided that walking to the festival would be better than trying to get an Uber.

(Your outfit)

(Your bestfriends)

You both grab your phones and lock up before starting your 10 minute walk to the festival.

Oh my god I can’t believe we’re finally going to electric forest

Literally we’ve been dreaming of it for so long

Like the lights …the music …in the woods is gonna be beautiful

A spiritual experience for sure

We just gotta be careful you know some people slip shit into peoples drinks without them knowing

Yeah I know kinda scary but I’m only buying water with a cap no one is getting anything in there

Smart I honestly don’t even wanna drink I wanna fully be in the experience

Yeah same I wanna be fully in control of my body for this shit

God how much longer do we have until we reach the gates these shoes are kinda hurting

Uhhh only like 5 more minutes

Thank god

Yeah I didn’t really think about my shoe choice either

You finally reach the gates and show your wrist bands as they check the fanny pack your friend brought just so you could store your phones safely and then walked through the metal detectors. Once you were in you followed the path as the music got louder and the lights got brighter.

OH MY GOD

THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL

WERE HERE WERE ACTUALLY HERE

I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT

As you guys kept walking people were roaming around talking going to the bathroom area and grabbing drinks

hey you wanna grab waters then head up to the big stage

yeah sounds good to me

You both went to buy water then made your way to the stage .

Hey I love your outfits

Thank you so much you look amazing I love your outfit so much

Thank youuu

Of course have a good time

You too

As you both approached the stage the lights went crazy as

Was playing.

Oh my god this song is good

Right brings me back to like middle school dude

Real as fuck let’s get into the crowd deeper

You both held hands tightly as you weaved through groups of people dancing around having a good time

You wanna go up further or go like middle crowd

Let’s get up further closer to the large tree line

Okay

You both got to the area you wanted to be and just started dancing around having fun with each other to some more songs .

Was playing as you both held onto each other laughing and dancing all over each other

You guys look great like those outfits wow a deep voice says from behind

You both turn to look at who said it . THE HOTEST MAN YOUVE BOTH EVER SEEN In YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. He had tattoos all over his neck ,chest and arms . He was GORGEOUS.

Thank you so much ! I love your tattoos by the way

Oh shit thank you I did most of them myself my friend who’s here with me did a good amount of them too

Wow you guys are talented. Are you a tattoo artist

Yeah we own a shop in new York

That’s so cool

Yeah it’s pretty fun he says smiling at you

So where is this friend your here with

He was following me he’s gotta be close

As he says that another super hot guy comes behind him

Hey man sorry I got caught in a big group and lost you

Nah your good man

So who are these lovely lady’s

Oh I’m y/n you say

I’m bf/n

Nice too meet you guys I’m John . I hope blain wasn’t annoying you guys he says smirking over at his friend.

Oh no not all

Would you guys care if we hung with you guys

Not at all the more the merrier you say smiling at him

He comes closer to you as his friend goes over to your bestfriend.

Blain wraps his arms around your waist from behind causing you to smile .

Is this okay

Yeah of course I don’t mind at all

You look over at your best-friend who is talking to blains friend smiling having a good time.

Starts playing as you and blain sway to the music you rest your head back on his chest.

Your both a little sweaty from how hot the June air is but it’s nice .

This song is so pretty you say looking back over your shoulder and up at Blaine

Yeah it is . I like the way you described it

Yeah it’s like cool but it’s just feels pretty

I get what you mean he says smiling down at you making you smile then look back up at the stage and lights

These lights are so fucking cool he says in your ear

You shudder a little from his breathe fanning your neck and his deep voice echoing through your ear

I know right it’s one of my favorite parts of a festival especially the glitter lights you say

Starts playing as you both continue fluidly swaying to the music as you look up the sky as a nice breeze blows over you .

Blaine spins you around to look at him as he grabs your waist and pulls you closer.

He’s significantly taller even on the shoes your wearing causing you to have to look up at him.

He smiles down at you as he lowers his face slowly til his mouth is at your ear.

Is playing as you feel his breathe hit your ear causing you to shiver a bit.

You are one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen y/n

T-thank you Blaine you say getting week in the knees a bit from how close he is to you

He lifts his face a bit as he grabs his water taking a sip .

You look over at your friend to see her dancing with his friend watching the stage.

You look back at Blaine as he smiles at you and grabs your face bringing his closer.

His lips meet yours as you close your eyes and lean into the kiss immediately kissing back .

He slips his tongue in your mouth deepening the kiss . As your making out you swallow feeling something go down your throat but write it off as your mouth being dry .

He pulls away smiling down at you .

You smile at him as you spin back around too look back at the stage

Is playing as you bop your head to the beat.

Hey I’m gonna run to the bathroom

Okay sounds good

He walks over to his friend saying he’s going to the bathroom I’m guessing he had to go to so they both walk off .

Your best-friend comes back over to you smiling wide at you

I saw that kiss giiiirl they are so hot

I know right like damn also uh my mouth is dry and I need more water

Alright want me to come with

No no stay here have fun it shouldn’t take me too long I’ll just take my phone if I need you I’ll text you

Okay just be safe

I will love you be back in a sec

Love you too

You start walking through the crowd and back down the path through the trees to the drink areas

Playing as you make you walk.

Your head starts to feel fuzzy and your eyes have a hard time focusing causing you to stumble and fall into a hard object .

Whoever they are catches you

Wow you okay

I… um I don’t know you say trying to focus your eyes as you stand back up on wobbly legs

You definitely don’t look okay I mean that in the nicest way your eyes just look really weird

Y-yeah I can’t get them to focus I’m sorry for falling into you I don’t feel so normal right now

I’m sorry to ask but um did you take something

Hell no I would never ever take drugs

Your eyes finally start to focus but your limbs still feel heavy.

Did you by any chance kiss someone the guy asks causing you too look at his face causing your eyes to get wide

Did I just fall into . CHRIS STURNIOLO.you say in your head slightly still disoriented maybe you were seeing things.

I… um why would that matter

You say as you stare at him. Nope that’s definitely Chris sturniolo.

People will put pills on their tongue then kiss someone and let it go into their mouth . Pretty much drugging someone without them knowing

WHAT THE FUCK you accidentally yell In His face

S-sorry i didn’t mean to yell in your face

No your okay . But I’m guessing from that reaction you did kiss someone

Y-yeah I did but now that I think about it I felt something weird in my throat but I thought it was just my mouth being dry . Fuck how could I be so stupid

Hey hey your not stupid people are really sneaky about it it’s not your fault

It’s my fault that I’m such a whore for kissing a random guy without even thinking twice about it you say slapping your hand on your head disappointed by yourself

He grabs your hand taking it off your head

Well he was definitely hot wasn’t he he said laughing a little

Causing you to smile and laugh

Yeah sadly he was

I’m sorry he did that too you that’s really fucked up

Yeah I know how can people do that to someone else like drugs are dangerous I don’t even know what I am on right now

You say looking into his eyes . God is he beautiful through a screen but in person GOD DAMN .

Honestly it’s probably Molly or ecstasy that’s what most people bring to festivals

Fuck me dude this is bad you say starting to freak out . The last thing you expected is to be drugged your first night at the festival then stumble upon your fucking celebrity crush who has voiced he doesn’t like drugs causing you to be even more anxious knowing that this will be the way he remembers you . The drugged out girl who ran into him and waisted his night .

Where were you headed

Ummm … water I was going to get water

Okay come with me I’ll take you to get some water but uuuh… he stops talking

But what you say a bit confused

You wanna try and throw up before it fully gets in your system?

Actually that’s a good idea

Yeah okay I’ll hold your hair back but this way the trip might not come at all or at-least not as bad

Ugh Fuck okay I’m so sorry this is probably not how you wanted your night to go

No don’t apologize you definitely didn’t want your night to end up like this

No definitely not

You slowly bend over as he holds your hair back

You try pushing your fingers down your throat to make yourself throw up but it doesn’t work your fingers didn’t get deep enough .

Fuck it’s not working you say getting anxious you won’t be able to throw it up

Fuck okay try one more time for me

Mmm okay you breathe out

You try again but all it does is make your eyes water .

Fuck I can’t get deep enough . My gag reflex is barely there in the first place you say as you stand back up him still holding onto your hair

You look up at him as he looks down at you with a face you can’t read .

Okay what if I you know stick my fingers down your throat. I know that’s weird but my fingers are longer it might be the only way to get it out of your system

Oh Jesus are you sure that’s like really nasty

I’m sure I care more about you getting it out of your system then me having to stick my fingers in your mouth

Okay fine I’m sorry again this is so embarrassing

No it’s not trust me it could be way worse

Yeah your right

You bend back over as he brings his finger to you lips . You pause . Chris fucking sturniolo your celebrity crush is literally about to stick his fingers down your throat . How is this my life right now you thought .

Sweetheart you gotta open your mouth for this to work he chuckles slightly

Oh Fuck I’m sorry

You open your mouth as he slides his fingers down your throat hitting the back causing you to cough and gag on his fingers . He pulls them out as he hears you gag more .

Jesus how did you not throw up I was touching your uvula

Fuck idk maybe go deeper as deep as you can go

open back up he says causing you to laugh

Oh come on now is not the time to have a dirty mind

Sorry I’m sorry you say still laughing a bit . You look at him his face stern as his fingers move to your lips .

You look back at the ground as you open your mouth . He shoves his fingers deeper hitting the right spot as you throw up . He pulls his fingers out and that hand moves to your back rubbing softly as you get it out of your system.

That’s it’s let it out

You have tears running down your face as you gag and cough until your finally done and everything is definitely out of your system .

Your body and hands shaking a bit as you stand up and wipe your mouth .

I’m so sorry that was so disgusting

Again with the sorry . You don’t have to apologize to me about this really it’s okay

He moves his hand to your face as he rubs the tears away with his thumbs.

You smile slightly as the sweet gesture causing him to smile at you .

What he asks looking into your eyes

Nothing your just a really sweet person

Well thanks but let’s go get you that water and maybe something to eat since you just threw up everything you had all day .

yeah im really shake right now

I can see that he says laughing a little at you

hey don't laugh at me you say feeling still a bit embarrassed by the entire interaction you guys are having.

sorry sorry but come on you can hold onto my arm if you need to stay stable

you hold onto his arm as you both walk side by side slowly to the drink area.

so what's your name

y/n

nice to meet you y/n im chris

oh uhh yeah I know

oh ... you do

yeah ive watched your YouTube videos before you say awkwardly hoping that doesn't make him uncomfortable

he pauses walking

im sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable

no no it doesn't just uhh awkward I just stuck my fingers down a fans throat he adds an awkward chuckle after

I mean I wouldn't call myself a fan tbh just someone who stumbles upon your videos sometimes for a good laugh

I get what you mean by that to be honest

im glad you do I don't want you thinking im like a crazy mega fan

honestly I don't think a crazy fan would act so chill in this situation he says as he starts walking again pulling you along with him.

yeah true honestly they would probably stutter and cry

yeah probably

you both laugh as you finally reach the drink stand

here sit down ill grab the stuff alright

oh no I cant let you pay for my stuff

no seriously its no problem just sit down

alright

you sit down as he grabs some waters and food them comes back over to you sitting next to you at the table

here you go hopefully it will make you feel a little less sick

thank you Chris seriously

of course he says with a smile

im glad you were the person I bumped into

oh yeah and why is that

honestly no-one would have even tried to help me get it out of my system or even been nice enough to notice something was wrong

yeah I guess your right about that most people would have just kept walking

you both are sharing fries he had gotten as you just share glances here and there.

so are you here alone or with people

im here with my best friend

ahh I see why didn't she come to get water with you

I told her to stay back I thought I was fine just had a dry throat

rookie mistake huh

Maybe but I wouldn't have met you so maybe it wasn't so bad she didn't come with me

he just looked at you smiling rolling his eyes playfully

so who did you come with

nick and matt and a couple other people

oh fun honestly im a little shocked raves don't really seem like your type of crowd

I mean I guess not but a brand sent us all here for promotions of their clothes that we have to wear every night so you know we thought why not

damn that's so cool ive dreamed of coming to this rave for years

so this is your type of thing

yeah I love raves and concert their like my happy place

yeah I get that music is one of my favorite things

yeah I don't know how life would be if music didn't exist

life would suck everyday would be dull and boring

I always like to say that music brings color to the world . I don't know if that makes sense but ... you look over at him seeing he's already staring at you . his eyes are soft and the smile on his face makes your breathe catch . he's looking at you with such love it makes you nervous.

w-what did I sound dumb

no that was just ... such a beautiful way to put it. I like the way you think

oh thank you you say as your checks flush pink from his compliment

no problem

I should probably call my friend ive been gone for a while I don't want her to freak out

yeah that's probably a good idea

you call your bestfriend

Hey are you okay you've been gone for a while

yeah im okay but um are Blaine and his friend back with you

ummm yeah why

you know how we kissed earlier

girl yeah obviously he was practically eating your face

yeah well um... he had a pill in his mouth and when we kissed he put it in mine and drugged me

WHAT THE FUCK Y/N ARE YOU OKAY NEED ME TO COME FIND YOU

no no im safe actually um I ran into someone... he helped me get it out of my system and we grabbed water and food

mmm okay why did you sound so weird when you said someone

ill give you a hint okay ummmm cc

girl wtf is this Morris code how could I ever guess what ccmeans

oh my god okay guy who ive showed you before

OH CELEBRITY CRUSH

yeah bitch Jesus I feel like that was an easy guess

no it fucking wasn't

alright whatever anyways yeah that's where I am right now

so your telling me you are sitting ... with Chris sturiolo because you casually bumped into him as you slowly started tripping

yeah pretty much that's exactly what happened

you have insane luck I swear to god

I know right what are the odds

so how are you feeling as of right now

still weird my limbs are heavy my eyes keep loosing focus and my brain feels foggy

any other feelings im just trynna figure out what it could have been that he uh you know

I don't know like what do you mean

well Molly makes you insanely horny so is that a feeling your having at all

ummm I don't think so but who knows if however much made it into my system has hit yet

I feel like you'd feel that by now so we can count that out . what about like your vision you been seeing things like weird shapes and colors

nope

fuck then idk maybe it did all get out of your system fast enough

yeah maybe hopefully that's the case

yeah lets hope so ... so im guessing you puked it up

yeah his idea of course

hes smart

I know right I would be tripping balls right now if I didn't run into him so praise the lords for him

for real but omg you threw up in front of your celebrity crush

don't remind me like how embarrassing is that and that's not even the worst part dude

how could it get more embarrassing

oh idk maybe the fact that I couldn't do it myself sooo

nooo y/n tell your joking he did not

yep sure fucking did

wow just wow

yeah not so pleasant but um im gonna finish off this food hopefully ill stop shaking soon and then ill head back to you but maybe move away from Blaine and his friend I don't want so be around him at all after what he did

oh girl I already moved the second you said he drugged you im closer to the middle now by the vip area

okay ill try my best to find you ill see you in a bit

okay just please be safe and no more kissing strangers

trust me im not planning on it

alright love you just look for the big pink bubble looking thing and im right bye that

okay big pink bubble thing got it love you bye

you hang up and look back over at chris

all good with her

yep she moved spots so that will be super fun trying to find her

don't worry ill help you im actually in the vip pink bubble thing so I know exactly where that is

oh thank god

you wanna head back to the stage or are you still shaky

im still super shaky and feeling really hot actually

really it doesn't feel that hot its cooled down a bit from earlier

really

yeah it like 48 degrees right now

shit I feel like its 100 degrees

y/n look at me

what why

just look at me

you look over at him his eyes widen as he looks at you eyes

wh-what why are you looking at me like that

your pupils are blown

fuck we didn't get it out of my system fast enough

judging by your eyes and the fact you feel hot and shaky probably not

fuck me this is bad like really bad

lets get back to your friend before it really hits and shit hits the fan

okay good idea

you both get up and start your walk back to the stage and crowd

as your walking back you start to stumble as your vision blurs

shit y/n you good

mmm y-yeah just my vision is a little blurry right now

come here he says as he pulls you closer

fuck your skin feels really hot

yeah tell me about it

he spins you around to face him .

you look up at him as his eyes move around your face with a slightly worried expression.

he moves his hands to your waist holding you tightly as you slightly started to lean back on uneven legs

you look into his eyes. Then study his facial features and the feel of his hands on your waist as your mind goes back to his fingers shoved in your mouth.

A wave of butterflies goes through your stomach as waves of heat flood your lower half.

fuck . I think it was definitely Molly .You thought as you started to feel the effects

why are you looking at me like that

like what you slur out

like you wanna eat me alive

w-what I wasn't

yes you were

im sorry I didn't mean to I just ummm I think its kicking in

what are you feeling

trust me you don't want to know

yeah I do he says as he brings his face closer to yours.

your breathing gets heavier .

lets just say .. it was definitely molly

oh ... OH uhhh well then

like I said you didn't wanna know

well at least now we know what type of trip your having .What type of asshole gives a girl Molly at a rave

I don't know but we all know what Molly does to people maybe he was trying to get me hot and bothered but that's fucked up . why give a girl drugs for that

there's definitely easier ways to get that effect that drugging a girl

Yeah like his tattoos were working well enough he could have I don’t know said things in my ear waited until the festival ended tonight and asked me to come back to his place

That is true I just don’t get guys like him

Me neither

You think your good to keep walking

Yep let’s just take it nice and slow my vision is crazy right now especially with the lights

Yeah your pupils are dilated as fuck probably making your sight super sensitive

Yeah your probability right you move to his side as he keeps an arm around your shoulder now keeping you close just incase you stumble again

Your mind wanders back to him holding your hair with his fingers down your throat as he spoke sweetly to you to let it out. Even though the actions were to help you puke your guts up . They were so dirty when you forgot about that detail .

What you thinking about he asks looking down at you smiling

Oh ummm nothing

No that pretty little mind was wandering I could tell by the smirk on your face

I wasn’t thinking was just looking ahead at the lights you try to play it off hoping he’d drop it . The last thing you want is to have to explain to him that the Molly is making your mind wander to his fingers in your mouth making you horny as a mother fucker.

Your lying to me right now

What Chris no I’m not just drop it

I’ll drop it for now but we’ll circle back later

You sigh and roll your eyes at him and you finally reach the crowd as the music is loud as ever and the lights are going crazy.

Was playing causing you to smile and look up at Chris

What you smiling for

I love this song

Yeah it’s pretty good

So where is this pink bubble bitch

Woah why are you calling me a bitch

No not you I wasn’t calling you a bitch I’m sorry

Your fine I’m only joking but it’s this way he says pulling you to the left

You start walking with him your limbs finally starting to move normally even though they still feel fuzzy.

Hey you stopped shaking and your skin isn’t as hot

Yeah but uhh all the other effects are still very much here

Mmm should I let go is that making it worse

No no your good I just gotta keep my mind on other things

Alright then he chuckles

Sorry that probably sounded weird I promise I wasn’t saying your hand on my waist was making me uh you know just uh

Your fine but you know if it was I would not be offended he says smirking down at you

Oh shut up you say smiling and playfully showing him a bit

I’m kidding he says making you look at him with a “you sure about that” expression

Okay maybe I wasn’t kidding but what were you smirking about earlier

Nope not telling you it’s gonna make this weird

Now you have to tell me that made me even more curious

Chrisss come on it’s to weird for me to say

I promise I won’t judge just tell me and we can blame it on the drugs if it’s that bad

Fuck ok fine I was… thinking about you having your fingers down my throat . You quietly said the last part from how weird it felt saying it out loud

Sorry what I couldn’t here you

I was thinking about your fingers down my throat okay there I said it . You cringed after saying it .

You look up at him as he stopped walking

I made it weird didn’t I

No you didn’t actually hate to say it but it was kinda hot even though you know the reason I did it wasn’t hot

Oh … well glad I’m not the only one

Mmm yeah come on let’s keep walking

So where are you and your friend staying

We’re staying at a house about a 10 minute walk from the gates

Wait you guys walked here he asks kinda shocked

Yeah it would have been an hour if we tried to drive or even get an Uber

Yeah I guess one luxury of being here with a brand is early access and they provide cars to take us . But how are your feet not killing you in those boots

Oh trust me they are . But I’m thuggin it out . And the drugs are making my limbs so tingly I can’t really feel my feet hurting so there’s that

Well I guess that’s one good outcome

Yeah I guess. Where are you guys staying

Oh a bigger house about 15 minutes out the neighborhood is cool . It’s got a cool fountain in the middle

Wait … a blue fountain

y-yeah

I think we’re in the same neighborhood then

What are the odds

Right crazy huh . Maybe this was fate you say laughing obviously joking

I don’t know maybe your right he says seriously

You look up at him a little dumbfounded by the sincerity in his voice

He looks down at you smiling giving you a small wink causing you to smile

Your eyes look crazy right now

Yeah I feel like I’m seeing everything through bright lenses right now

What is your friend wearing we’re getting close to the bubble maybe I can spot her

A white top with a long ish white skirt and like cool Pearl looking things all over it and her waist

Okay hum.. wait right there is that her

You follow where is hand is pointing .

Yes yeah that’s her

You both walk up to her

Hey bitch you yell as your approach her

Oh my god y/n how are you doing … oh god your eyes

Yeah yeah I know

And you must be the guy who helped her out thank you for taking care of her that’s was very kind of you

You looked at him smiling as he spoke

It was my pleasure you know she isn’t so bad

Haha funny but really Chris thank you . You were more than kind

Of course he says looking down at you smiling

your brothers are probably wandering where you are I know you should probably get back to them

oh I mean I was thinking of actually having them come to us ... unless you want me to leave

no no I wouldnt mind at all if you stayed

good cause to be honest I didn't want to

you both smiled at each other for what felt like hours but was only a minute

let me call them real quick

he calls them and tells them a small part of the story and for them to come meet up with us.

after a couple minutes you hear a couple voices coming from behind you .

you turn to see matt and nick walking up to Chris beside you

Yo Chris

Chris turns around

hey guys sorry I was gone for so long

hey it was for a good reason so its okay

facts well this is y/n and her friend ybf/n he gestures to you both

they look at you smiling you give a small wave and a smile saying hi

wow your outfits are amazing

aww thank you you look great the distressed looks on you and matt your mesh shirt is so cool

thank you they both same at the same time making you laugh a bit

so how you feeling Chris told us a bit about what happened

I feel okay I mean my eye sight is crazy right now but other than that im feeling better than before

that's good im glad you ran into Chris instead of someone else

was that a compliment orrrr

im just saying that out of all the people she could have fallen upon in her situation im glad it was you because you know we don't do drugs or drink so you were fully in your right mind unlike most people here

that is true

yeah I get what your saying

so what even happened with the guy that did this to you

uh I don't know ... ybf/n what did happen with them

oh dumb and dummer are probably still standing where I left them thinking were coming back to hang with them

damn poor guys how embarrassing for them

they can stand there all night for all I care

trust me if catch even a glimpse of the guy ill get violent

oh yeah what are you gonna do beat up a super muscular 6'5 man it came out a bit more sassy then you meant it causing matt and nick to look at you in shock and Chris to glare down at you

I-im sorry that came out more rude then I meant it

no its okay but yeah I would at least try and beat his ass

I wouldn't let you risk ruining that pretty face over him he's not worth the effort you say smiling at him

he smiles at you .

pretty face huh?

okay Christopher shut up

you all laugh as you guys stand around listening to the music playing .

you watch the light beams move around with the different tempos and bass drops

you decide to lean your head on chris's shoulder not even thinking about it.

he looks down at you smiling admiring the way you feel leaning against him and how fascinated you look by the show going on in-front of you all

don't you worry child started playing as you started to feel rain droplets fall on your skin.

it was about 2 am and you had forgotten there was a chance of rain but it made the experience so much better

I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG

DUDE SAME

BRINGS ME BACK TO CHILDHOOD

ITS SUCH A GOOD SONG

everyone in the crowd is singing along it sounds so beautiful as the crowds voices blend together as the rain pours down.

the rain feels amazing

yeah ...oh god

he says looking at your face

w-what what's wrong you say scared something is wrong

no sorry just your mascara is running everywhere

oh fuck is it bad

kinda but here he says bringing his black shirt up to your face wiping at your face where the mascara had bled down

you hear an awww come from your left

you look over at nick who's smiling

sorry that was just cute i've never seen Chris act like this in-front of us

don't get used to it I wouldn't ruin my shirt for just anybody Chris says to nick . that brought a smile to your face . was he saying you were special. or Maybe you were just reading into it.

after about thirty minutes it was the end of the first night of the festival

god that was amazing I cant wait for tomorrow

I know right but we should start our walk back to the house

why don't we walk with you guys since were staying in the same neighborhood

yeah sure why not you say looking up at him smiling.

hey guys were gonna walk home since were all in the same neighborhood and Ubers are gonna take forever he says to his brothers

sounds good to me

how long is the walk

about like 10 minutes

oh that's not bad at all

yeah not too bad

you all start making your way through the wood path and out the gates starting your walk to the air bnb

after about two minutes your feet start to hurt really bad you really start to regret your shoes choices.

fuck dude my feet are on fire

those shoes are so cute but they don't look comfortable at all

yeah im fully regretting my choice of choosing them

Chris turns to you.

just hop on my back I got you

chris hahah no ill just take them off

and risk stepping on glass now way ...get on my back he says more in a demanding tone

chris no im too heavy ill just thug it out

he grabs you and throws you over his shoulder

too heavy my ass he says in a hushed sharp tone

everyone continues walking

chris come on put me down

nope

you smack his back repeatedly

calm down were almost to the neighborhood

ughhhh you groan out as you go limp knowing he's definitely not putting you down

you see matt take a video laughing

your arms just swinging is so funny oh my god

nick laughs as you flick them off jokingly

making them laugh harder

all the sudden chris sets you down as he sees your best friend start to walk up the drive way to malls house .

y'all go a head ill catch up.

mmmkayyy nick says as they start heading to their house.

so...

sooo...

would it be weird if I umm asked you to come back to ours for the night

i... ummm no not weird just uhhh

If you don't like me like that I get it he says a bit hurt but still smiling

no...no chris not that I was just gonna say I need to get these fucking shoes off and change

oh okay cool ill wait for you then

alright well come in for a bit it might take me a second

alright he says as he follows you up to the front door as you open it and let him in

make your self comfortable ill be as quick as I can

no no take your time no rush

he says taking a seat on the couch as you head up the stairs to your room.

you get your shoes off thank fucking god and then go and find some pajamas to throw on . The only thing is you only sleep in t shirts and underwear so you have no pants to wear.

welp...thats gonna be awkward you say as you head into the bathroom your best friend is in there taking off her makeup.

hey girl what's up

oh you know just getting ready ... to spend the night with chris

she turns jaw dropped at you

whattttt... he asked you to go back with him

yeeeep

damn girl... okayyy get it

like im excited but also... im gonna spend the fucking night with my celebrity crush what is this life dude

I don't know but I cant wait to hear about it tomorrow

she heads to bed since its around 3 am.

you finish taking off your makeup , change and do your skincare.

you go to your best friends room planning to ask her if she has shorts you can borrow for the night.

hey ybf/n

she's already knocked out .

fuck me is all you can think . you go to the drawers where she had unpacked her stuff and sorted through to see if she had any shorts and to your luck . she didn't.

fucking great you whisper to yourself as you go to your room grabbing some socks and slippers putting them on then grabbing your phone charger.

you slowly walk down the stairs trying to keep you shirt from riding up.

hey sorry it took me a while

no your good you ready

ummm yeah

he turns to look at you smiling as he looks you up and down .

you sure you didn't sound like you were

no yeah im ready I just um... I only sleep in a t-shirt and underwear so I have no pants to put on

no worries you can always borrow some sweats if you want

oh alright that sounds good

you say as you walk to the door opening it letting him out first then using your key to lock the front door.

you follow him as he walks further down the road.

hey you look really pretty without makeup on

you smile up at him.

t-thank you

of course he says as he throws his arm over your shoulder keeping you close to his side as you continue walking.

so you wanna watch a movie or something or are you really tired

we can definitely watch a movie I just cant promise ill stay awake the whole time

fair but sounds good to me

you reach a really pretty house and he walks up the drive way to the front door, he opens it and waves you to walk in and you do.

alright were gonna be on the third floor he says as he starts walking up the long spiral staircase .

you follow after him once you reach the third floor it opens up to a big room . it was definitely a renovated attic.

Chris walks over to the bed setting his phone down.

come sit down make your self comfortable i'm gonna run to the bathroom but here's my computer you can pull up Netflix, Hulu or prime video and pick anything. ill be back in a second

okay sounds good you say as you sit down and and type in prime video and start looking through for a movie.

You decide to put on The Visit since it looked good and waited for chris to come back.

the door opens and you look up thinking it was chris but it was matt.

oh hey y/n chris told me to bring these to you he says handing you sweatpants.

oh thank you you say getting up and taking them then slipping them on

they are freshly clean so be happy about that

you laugh lightly at that .

so you guys uhh seem to be getting along really well

yeah I don't think i've ever gotten this close with someone in one night

he hasn't brought a girl home since like uhhh honestly I don't know if he ever has so you must be special

oh god don't feed my delusions matt he's just being nice

nice... no he definitely likes you

you blush at that and you smile at him .

well thank you matt

no problem . im going to bed but tell chris I said good night when he gets back in here

I will goodnight

see you in the morning he says before heading out the door and back down the stairs.

after about 5 more minutes chris comes back up shirtless and in sweatpants hanging dangerously low showing his black Calvins band

you cant help but stair he's so attractive . but god his broad shoulders and collar bones have you drooling . His v-line though god that makes you clench your thighs together as unholy thoughts run through your head.

you good he asks with a smirk letting out a small chuckle.

y-yeah sorry

no need to apologize sweetheart he says as he walks over to get into the bed next to you

he settles into a comfortable position as you sit awkwardly on the opposite side of the bed

he looks over at you smiling.

come here he says as he puts his arm out and pats his side encouraging you to cuddle into him

you smile as you scoot into him and he puts his arm around your chest rubbing your right arm softly.

so what movie did you decide on

the visit

alright what genera is it

horror

oh god okay he says making you laugh

you don't like scary movies do you

they are not my favorite but its okay . it cant be that scary right?

nahhhh we'll be fine you say as you click play

after about 30 minutes into the movie you cuddle into chris a little more since the movie was scarier than expected. He holds you close since he's also creeped the fuck out.

it gets to a scene that is super scary causing you to hide your face in his chest as he hides his face in your hair.

after that scene was done chris looked down at you.

hey uhhh this movie is really scary can we stop watching it

yeah agreed turn this shit off

he immediately exits out of the movie and closes his lap top.

he puts it on the floor as you slide down the pillow to get more comfortable.

what should we do now he says turning towards you

uhhhhh I don't know

alriiight ummmm you hungry at all ...thirsty anything

actually I am kinda thirsty yeah

time to raid the kitchen come on he says pulling you out of the bed.

you both make your way down to the kitchen as he turns on the lights blinding the both of you.

Jesus Christ its so bright

he flips the lights back off and turns his phone flashlight on instead .

okay whatchu want we got dr.pepper, water, sweet tea, Pepsi, cherry coke uhhh

ill take a dr.pepper

coming right up he says before grabbing one from the fridge and bringing it to you

thank you

he cracks open his Pepsi as he turns to you smiling .

of course

you smile back and he maintains eye contact as he takes a sip of his drink.

you take a sip of yours then break eye contact.

wanna head back up to the room

yeah sure

he takes your hand as you walk back up the stairs back into his room.

he closes the door and you go to set your drink down on the bedside table and crawl back onto the bed.

he sets his drink down and lays back down on the bed getting comfy under the covers.

god they need to add a fan in here it so hot

yeah it really is

do you mind if I take the sweats off

no not at all get comfortable

you slip the pants off and throw them on the floor .

you look over at him seeing him looking at you with a small smirk

why are you looking at me like that

like what

like your scheming I can see it in your eyes

no no I was just admiring you

oh really? you say in a teasing tone

yeah your just so beautiful inside and out

you blush bringing your hands to your face.

stooop

he brings his hands to yours pulling them off your face

I mean it you really are beautiful

thank you chris you say as he leans closer to you

your breathe catches and he leans into your ear .

his breathe fanning your neck making you shiver

I really wanna kiss you right now

I would be okay with that you say

he comes up from your ear and leans down kissing you .

it was a sweet but hungry kiss.

he moved his hands to your sides pulling you closer and pulling your leg over his side as he caress your thigh causing you to let out a soft moan into his mouth .

he smiles into the kiss then pulls away his face still close to yours

you tired

eh not really you say smiling

good cause im about to do so many things to you he says as he brings his mouth down to your neck .

PART 2 COMING SOON ....

💋

#Spotify #fanfiction #chris sturniolo

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priestvox · 3 months

Text

Ask Compilation Because We Are TIRED.

@azzythestupid:

Last night i tried having a dream about radioapple via looking through all your radioapple asks on here

I had a dream about blitzø and striker somehow

Anonymous:

Been watching Taylor Tomlinson's Netflix comedy specials and she has this joke where she talks about how growing up religious made her weird in many ways, one of which was masturbating wrong for her entire adult life. She goes on to explain that because her youth group was told that masturbation itself isn't a sin, it's the lust in your heart when you're doing it, she decided she could masturbate as long as she kept her mind totally blank except for "road trip thoughts (almost there, making good time)." Anyway that's Vaggie to me hjhjhb

@azzythestupid:

Ay did you answer my ask abt the "au where hh characters are in the place of hb characters"? If you did can you gimmie a link 2 it

@blaackbiird:

alla that little red Riding Hood ask but it's Hoodwinked

@xxx-angiedust

"creepy old guy" from beetlejuice but someone for me it's literal

'gum disease' which alastor canonically has black gums from a lack of hygeine iirc

also i love beetlejuice too i would marry him or alastor fr

Anonymous asked:

Since when did the cannibal colony get tumblr?!?!

Anonymous asked:

Blood and cannibalism? Who started this??

-Alastors dick

Anonymous asked:

huskers-bar mom has got it going on~

Anonymous asked:

How Alastor hasn't given himself chronic wasting disease is a mystery beyond anyone's understanding. Either human or as a deer demon, he shows no signs of having gotten a torturous existence via prion.

xxx-angiedust asked:

if gay people don't exist, how are you this popular?

checkmate liberals

Anonymous asked:

Oh, they look good!

-Alastors dick

Anonymous asked:

I know where Eve went.

She was turned into a rubber duck!

Anonymous asked:

Oh! I've found it!

-Alastors dick

Anonymous asked:

B-b-bingus cursed alastor cat

Anonymous asked:

I feel devious, like I'm a little rat scurrying around when I leave a message in a blogs inbox anonymously and they only know me by some goofy ass name I thought up.

-Alastors dick

Anonymous asked:

I just got sent the something anonymously and now I must send it here.

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby, let me know-

-Alastors dick

Anonymous asked:

I know you know who I am, I'm just hiding from the other people on this blog. It's like the confessionals, you see.

*thump* *bleat* *thump* is canon????

-Alastors dick

I usually hate swifties because of a expierence but ill make an exeption for you cursed mod

-😋

Anonymous asked:

Hii! How are you this hellish morning/day/evening/night ? :>

Love how you and huskers-bar have a ship name now😂

-🦋

Anonymous asked:

Just to piggyback off angeldust never forgiving Valentino and redemption/ forgiveness, I once had a pastor tell me that if I was unable to forgive someone who hurt me badly, then it was ok to just forgive myself for not forgiving my abuser. Forgiveness can come in many different forms and part of redemption is forgiving yourself

Anonymous asked:

wsg

im the person that did an ask on the charlie x al and on how i let my friend used my acc

lemme tell u smth

I WANNA FUCKING DIE THIS FURRY ASS SHIT KEEPS APPEARING ON MY FYP

AND I FEEL SO BAD FOR VAGGIE😭😭

love u btw

muah🥰🥰

xxx-angiedust asked:

"why does everyone suddenly wanna get cartoon characters pregnant?"

i've been writing mpreg since i was 11

xxx-angiedust asked:

i need alastor's tentacles inside me

i need to ripped apart by them like rire in boyfriend to death

@fujillamaparadise asked:

Alastor + Loki = ??????

#nunalastor asks

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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 2 years

Text

Crazy about you

Summary: Eddie and y/n have been secretly hooking up for weeks. Harsh words from Jason cause their true feelings to come out.

Warnings: Fluff, swearing, mentions of sex, Eddie and y/n dance around their feelings briefly, protective Eddie, protective reader. 18+

Had to repost as my Tumblr app is being a dick.

Likes, comments and reblogs are always welcome ❤ I do not give anyone permission to copy my work 💫💞

It started off the same as usual, both of them having an argument in Hawkins High's empty hallway.

Usually, it ended in them kissing or sneaking off to have sex. It had been this way for weeks now.

The first time was an argument in his Hellfire Club, he had been an arrogant arse all day and she went to confront him... They had sex on the large space where he set up the Dungeons and Dragons game.

After that the hookups kept happening, he still annoyed her, and they still argued but he was sweet and tender, no one had ever made her feel this way.

Still, her feelings never got in the way of her getting one over him, she was starting to believe he enjoyed it like it was a form of foreplay.

"You're are the biggest asshole, I've ever met". She huffs at him. Eddie does that cute little smile, all dimples and she's torn between kissing and yelling at him.

As normal he's being an annoying ass.

"You wound me you know? Here I was thinking you were in love with me". Eddie smirks.

The audacity of this man she growls.

"In your dreams Munson, seriously. In your dreams". She cringes because he may be right on the money about that, not that she would ever admit it.

His arm rests above her head and he's so close that it makes her tingle.

"Look at you pretty dove, I bet you're wet just at thought of me huh?". He leans down, his lips close to hers.

She had to give it to him, for an annoying ass he was charming as hell.

"Someone will see us". She points out to him but both know neither gives a fuck who did see.

"Can see it now... The entire school body in a tizzy because the resident good girl is fucking Eddie the freak Munson".

She shrugs not caring about anyone's opinions on the matter pulling him in for a breathtaking kiss that leaves him with his eyes wide and a dazed little smile on his face.

Score one for her she smirks and blows him a kiss as she goes.

Y/n - 1

Eddie - 0

💖

Being at the popular table had it's perks but the cons were beginning to out weigh the pros.

Jason is one of the biggest reasons she is distancing herself from them, who cared about all the hierarchy and shit at the end of the day?

"What's with your face". Jason asks her annoyed and she turns to him noticing the sniggers from her friends.

"I'm fine, back off Jason". He rolls his eyes and nudged his teammate Jordan.

"You know, no wonder no one's asked you to prom with that attitude, you're such a stuck-up little asshole at times".

The chatter at the table freezes and she feels her body warm in embarrassment at a few of the people at it.

Only Chrissy isn't laughing and tells Jason to stop being a dick but she's heard enough and gets up.

He grabs her wrist and it is such a tight, grip that she snaps at him fuming that he's touched her in such a way.

She walks out trying to hide her tears.

He's wrong about prom she has been asked, she just doesn't seem to want to go with anyone.

Eddie... she smiles a little imagining being with him at prom, it would be so much fun and the longing in her heart builds.

Someone touches her arm and she jumps, then notices that it's Eddie and wipes her eyes.

His concerned look touches her heart and she doesn't argue when he takes her hand and leads her outside.

Anger clouds his features and he's throwing off major protective vibes.

"Let me see your wrist?". She holds it out and he takes it his gaze tender and his touch tender as he eyes the dark bruising.

"I can go back inside and punch him out right?". He seethes and she rests her hand against his chest.

"I'm okay, he's a dick. Don't get into trouble because of him". His jaw tenses and she cuddles into him, surprising them both.

He pauses listening to her rant.

"He hurt you". He snarls and she soothes him, eventually, his tense body softens and he holds her.

"I'm fine, he was being an ass about prom, called me a stuck-up bitch and said that's why no one asked me, guys have asked me it's just not who I wanted to ask me and honestly? I'm not even sure I want to go in the first place".

"Well ditch it. I'm not going, couldn't give a shit, he pauses and frowns, what asshole asked you?". His brown eyes darken and she smiles thrilled that he cares.

"You sound jealous". He presses his body to hers and kisses her neck.

"Maybe, but let's face it. None of the fuckers who asked you could ever please you as I can".

Cocky shit. She does agree with him though and the guys who did ask only did it to go with a cheerleader, they didn't care about her.

His expression softens.

"If you did want to go... I would go with you if you wanted me to". He murmurs and she smiles contented.

She feels elated.

"I'd like that, I'd really like that Eddie but I don't want you to be bored or anything, I know it's not your scene".

He smiles.

"I don't know. I admit the music will be cheesy as fuck but I get to dance with you and I may even wear a suit".

"With your leather jacket on because that would be hot". He nods along with her.

"You drive me crazy sweetheart but I'm also completely crazy for you, I'd do anything to see you smile".

"I'm crazy about you too Ed's". His lips meet hers and she kisses him back fiercely.

💖

The minute she enters the cafeteria and hears Jason's ranting about the Hellfire Club she looks over finding Eddie's face tightening in anger as Jason looms over the table.

Asshole. She grits her teeth, no, no more.

"Jason, leave him alone !" she calls and he turns to her rolling her eyes and he pushes her away. Eddie gets up at that point snapping.

"You really are looking for my fist in your face huh?". Eddie rages.

Jason laughs.

"What the fuck? You think y/n would want to be with you Munson? Freak extradionare, low life".

She punches him, she can't believe she did it but she does, shit she's never violent but he's such a condescending smug asshole.

Eddie grins at her proudly, moving Jason out of the way, he hovers over her protectively ready for Jason's reaction as the Hellfire boys chatter excitedly.

Jason gapes and his jaw drops completely at Eddie's arm around her.

"You're letting that freak touch you". She looks at him mischievous.

"I let him do a lot more than that". She watches the dawning horror on his features and he splutters backing away.

"Freaks, you're both freaks". She grins, yup and proud of it and then pouts at Eddie.

"My hand hurts, it was worth it, but it hurts".

He kisses her hand gently ignoring a still babbling Jason and holds her tight.

"All better baby,". He sits down, pulls her onto his knee and she rests her head against his chest, very excited for their future together and for prom that was only a few weeks away.

💖

#eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie x reader

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khaire-traveler · 3 days

Note

I just stumbled upon your blog a few days ago and absolutely love it! I hope your days get better, I'll be sending good energy your way :3

Question: How did you first get into paganism? (If its a personal story, no worries!) I got started by getting really into mythology and then it just blossomed into way more than that

Thank you for the well wishes! I'm feeling better today. 🧡

My answer is way longer than I intended it to be, so I'm adding a "read more". Apologies in advance, but thank you to anyone who decides to read it. XD

I'm more than ok answering that question! Honestly, I wasn't really interested in paganism at all for a while. I was open to it, but it wasn't on my radar. I had just left Christianity about five or six months prior, given Wicca a chance to discover I didn't vibe with it, and decided I would remain agnostic while practicing witchcraft instead. I honestly wasn't even sure if any deities existed at all at that point and didn't really have faith in anything (which I've since discovered is a necessity for me). I was also in a pretty bad place mentally and emotionally at that time.

Without warning, I started receiving strange dreams that featured Greek gods. I had literally never known anything about Greek mythology beforehand aside from Persephone's kidnapping and whatever was going on in Disney's Hercules, so having dreams about Greek gods was very strange for me. I decided to look into it further since the dream contained a lot of symbolism I honestly couldn't decipher. I spoke to the one and only pagan I knew at the time - a follower of some other Greek gods.

Now, this person sucked a lot and decided that it'd be a great idea to tell me that my dream either meant that Hermes was reaching out to me, there was some spirit haunting me, or I was going to DIE soon!?!?!?! Like, seriously, who says that to someone with literally no experience in anything pagan related???? Anywho, the first option was the actual truth.

For the next three weeks after that dream, I was in HEAVY denial that a god would ever be interested in having anything to do with me. Instead, I focused on the more pessimistic outcomes the asshole person suggested.

However, Lord Hermes was absolutely not just going to throw up his hands and walk off into the sunset. No, quite the contrary! He spammed the shit out of me with sign after sign after sign, and I continued to dismiss them, although I was getting increasingly more hopeful because I had read up on him and thought he was really cool. I remember saying aloud to myself while reading his cattle myth, "Now THIS is a god I would want to worship!"

Despite all the signs I was being sent, I kept eventually dismissing it as coincidence or a weird one-off event. Until one day, I went into my kitchen to start my day, and in the backyard, the entire ground was covered by a massive flock of black birds. They were even sitting on the fence because there was no room on the ground! They were literally everywhere; I had never seen that in all my years of living in that house, and I had never seen it again. As soon as I saw them, they immediately flew away, and Hermes' name randomly popped into my head.

I obviously couldn't ignore that.

Within the next few days, I tried my best to research everything about paganism and deity worship that I could. I tried reaching out to my shitty pagan friend, and she did give me some helpful pointers but mostly left me on my own. Weirdly, I couldn't find a lot of information on worshipping Hermes at that time. I barely had any social media (I didn't have a Tumblr yet and had never used it prior), so I wasn't sure who to ask for good research options. I tried the Hellenic Polytheism Reddit and was told to "just search it up". The reason I try to answer asks sent to me is partially because of the extremely unwelcoming people I came across in that community. I'm not sure if they've changed since then, as it's been several years, but I sure fucking hope they did, god damn.

Anyway, I often felt a presence "looking over my shoulder" whenever I'd research the topic. It honestly freaked me out a bit because I hadn't ever experienced that kind of thing so strongly before outside of some one-off experiences. I finally decided to put together a small display of offerings. I used a tealight candle and gave him quite a few trinkets I had gained over my travels. As I lit the candle, I started writing a letter to Hermes because I wasn't comfortable praying yet. The entire time, it felt as if someone was looking over my shoulder and watching me write. It was freaky at first but grew comforting over time.

I had asked Lord Hermes for help adopting a specific cat that I wanted to train to be a service animal. The cat was already used to walking on a leash and was a few years old (I didn't want a kitten at the time). I told him that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to adopt him because the adoption center seemed weirdly hell-bent on not allowing me to adopt him, despite the fact that he had been stuck there for a year already. I was financially stable enough to take care of him and could even prove it, but they were extremely unfriendly with me for whatever reason. I asked him if he could please ensure the adoption, as I had sent a message to the center earlier in the day and was hoping for a reply.

Well, I woke up the next day, and the cat had apparently been adopted by someone else, despite there being no mention of anyone else with an interest in him to me. I was crushed by this, but my mom came running into the room to tell me to get dressed and that we were getting a cat. I was super confused, obviously, but she told me that someone she had reached out to last night about literally the only other Siamese cat she could find in the state (needed that breed specifically due to cat allergies in the household) and had confirmed we could pick up the cat. The cat was professionally bred and would come with all his toys, a cat tree, all his food, and his litterbox. Instead of being $2,000 as the owner had originally bought him for, he was $500. Thankfully, we were in a place that we could make that payment.

The only downside for me was how young the cat was. He was six months old. I decided to push that aside and meet him in person. He immediately loved me. He purred loudly and rubbed against me specifically. He barely even interacted with any of the other four people in the room; it was like he already wanted to be my best friend. I can't describe how wonderful that felt for me.

Suffice to say, we brought him home lol. On the way home, we passed a sign I had never seen in the city before. "Hermés", the brand, but I took as a very literal sign that my letter had been received.

Since then, I've been worshipping Lord Hermes! He means a great deal to me and has helped me through some extremely difficult times these past four years. He introduced me to many more deities, and over time, I found myself becoming a Hellenic Polytheist rather than a Hellenic Pagan. I'm happier with my religion than I've ever been, and I'm certain that I made the right choice that afternoon that I lit a tealight candle and wrote a letter.

Thank you for asking and reading this long ass answer lol. Sorry for any typos; I decided not to proof read it. I'm glad you found happiness in the pagan path as well! Take care, and have a wonderful day/night. 🧡

#asks #answered asks #personal

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cold-heart-warm-writings · 1 year

Text

Ouran Host Club Members and their Personal Bookshelves

*the bookshelves that are not dictated by their families, and are truly just for them*

Mori: Mori doesn’t strike me as a huge reader outside of studying for school. Maybe a smaller bookshelf with lots of animal care books, a few gardening tips and tricks books, and a few other ecology books. There’s half a shelf on the history of martial arts in Japan and the different styles. No trinkets (his raccoon would steal them or the chickens might eat them).

Honey: A shit ton of sweets baking books. Not because *he* is particularly interested in baking, but so he can show his personal chef what he wants to eat next. A *big* collector of cutesy blind boxes, so all of those trinkets are arranged by style and color along the various shelves. Maybe a hidden shelf with a few dark romances look read the manga this dude istg he a frea--

Kaoru: Went through a major self help/self improvement phase recently, and that’s reflected on his shelves. A few books in foreign languages. A solid amount of graphic novels. Went through a big super hero comics phase and was also obsessed with The Walking Dead for a while, so those are all kept fondly and neatly. He has some things he’s bought while out shopping with Haruhi at the commoner’s supermarket that he enjoys seeing lined up on his shelves.

Hikaru: A respectable amount of manga, his favorite action-y and dystopian books, and video games. Messy, chaotic, series are not lined up together, much less in correct number order. They go on the shelf wherever there’s space, at least they aren’t on the floor, so who cares? Spines? Broken. Pages? Dog eared. Text? Written all over. Fucks? Not given. “They’re my books, I can do whatever I want with them.” Protect him from the booktubers/booktokers. Would absoLUTELY rip a book in half. Never let them know your next move.

Haruhi: Extremely curated. There’s not as much space where she and her dad live compared to the other members, plus books can be expensive. Haruhi is a big supporter of her local library and lending books amongst friends. She has a carefully selected collection of her favorite books from when she was younger and as she’s gotten older. There is also one book dedicated to each host member that she acquired in case they ever surprise pop by to help entertain them if she needs to get anything done. She also has a fair amount of trinkets and fun little figurines to decorate the shelves.

Kyoya: #aesthetic #pristine #myshelvesarebetterthanyourshelves, look I do NOT see this man as having messy bookshelves. They are regularly dusted, spines are NOT cracked, and filled with classics all from the same publisher so the style of binding is uniform. Lots of Osamu Dazai, and even more Japan travel guides.

Tamaki: Gorgeous shelves. Giant, gleaming with polish, any bookworms dream. The shelves though? A bit chaotic. There is an entire shelf dedicated to The Little Prince in as many editions and styles he could find in dozens of languages. There are picture frames full of Odette and his friends and his mother, more children’s books in French, a shit ton of Japan travel guides, autobiographies on famous piano composers, an expansive music collection, figurines, dead plants that he swears are still alive, and any other means of proof that he is living his life to the fullest and having a good time.

Bonus

Renge: Manga. You know those collectors who have those perfect white bookshelves, rows and rows of manga, maybe some fairy lights, and the funko pops of all their faves? Yeah, that’s her. *And* she has the volumes in Japanese, French, and English. Honestly, maybe a few other languages too if she likes the covers. Some are even signed. Renge also is not about that ~half completed series~ life, nah, she’s a completionist, and has *every* volume, even the volumes that don’t technically come out till next month. I aspire to be her in this regard only.

Nekozawa: Japan’s largest collection, both of the personal nature and available to the public, of occult books, some of which date back hundreds of years. He was dark academia before it was trendy. Only light through special panes is allowed to permeate the room in order to protect these books. He also has some of those glass stands with certain books flipped open to his favorite pages. Nekozawa also has a substantial amount of occult artifacts which he sometimes lends out to museums.

#this is aggressively long #i always start writing these late at night when i mean to do something else and then spend way to long writing #imma post this late at night too idc #but look when the idea strikes you just gotta run with it ya know?#ohshc #ouran #ouran host club #takashi morinozuka #Mitskuni Haninozuka #kaoru hitachiin #hikaru hitachiin #haruhi fujioka #Kyoya Ootori #tamaki suoh #Renge Houshakuji #umehito nekozawa #renge #nekozawa #ouran high school host club

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slutforstabbings-archive · 1 year

Text

The Penpal

Only an hour an a half late to my own party! lol Here's my fic inspired by my news article about survivor!Corey and my conversations with @cordelium and @toxicanonymity!

survivor!inmate!Corey Cunningham x fem!Reader

As someone who grew up with awareness of Michael Myers despite not living in Haddonfield, you were gripped by the news of what happened on Halloween 2022. You reached out to Corey with a letter, and your correspondence became more than you ever dreamed it would.

contents/warnings - descriptions of prison, court, etc, family angst, handjob, riding, rough doggy

6,264 words

@rebel-blue @nachtmahr666 @wolvesandvampires @multifandom--mess @ethanhoewke @hersweetrevenge

18+, minors dni

Corey Cunningham. The man, the myth, the legend. The psycho babysitter, acquitted of aggravated manslaughter. The Michael Myers copycat who survived several severe injuries to become a celebrity during his murder trial. And, officially this afternoon, your husband.

You made the long drive to Chester from Chicago yesterday and stayed in a hotel overnight so you would be well rested for today. You go down to the hotel lobby in sweats and smash the continental breakfast before returning to your room on the third floor to get ready. As you wait for the tub to fill with water and steam clouds the bathroom, you reflect on the past year and a half, how a single letter changed your entire life.

<3 <3 <3

On November 1st you woke up to a barrage of texts from your cousin Kristin who lives in Monmouth, 20 minutes from a cursed small town. Growing up she was always so obsessed with The Boogeyman of Haddonfield, a mixture of fear and fascination. As teenagers she would always call you when she was babysitting, after the kids went to sleep. You would stay on the phone with her, just in case, even when it wasn’t anywhere near Halloween. You opened your eyes to a crisp fall morning, looked at your phone, and saw the messages.

11:30

HE CAME BACK AGAIN

HE CAME BACK AGAIN AND THEY KILLED HIM AND HES ACTUALLY DEAD THIS TIME

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

I don’t have any other details yet but they fucking did it!!!! They killed the boogeyman!!!!

12:15

Oh my god they put him in an industrial shredder of some kind????

They turned Michael Myers into fucking ground beef!!!

12:48

Corey Cunningham is involved somehow!??

There’s a lot of rumors and conflicting information but

it seems like he either killed someone or was killed by someone who thought he was Michael??

1:03

Okay not much more clarity on the Corey Cunningham thing, we still don’t know how what happened to him relates to Michael but he was shot AND stabbed and they found him in Laurie Strode’s house!? But he’s ALIVE and they airlifted him somewhere up by you. What a wild fucking night. Jesus Christ.

Kristin had told you all about Corey Cunningham. You remembered the news articles she’d sent you, the photos of him they ran in the local paper. You felt deeply for the guy, what a horrible case of wrong place, wrong time. And it couldn’t have happened to someone more gorgeous, which felt like it increased the tragedy, even though it shouldn’t. His face still lingered in your mind all this time later, coming to you as soon as you read his name. While you were very interested in what could’ve led to Michael Myers being turned into “ground beef,” you were much more concerned with what would happen with Corey.

In the following days and weeks, Kristin kept the updates coming. Much of what she told you wasn’t supposed to be public knowledge, but she had a loose lipped friend of a friend in the Warren County Sheriff's Office. Michael’s final rampage had left 12 dead. It would be 13 if Corey didn’t survive, he was in the ICU in a medically induced coma. Laurie and her granddaughter Allyson had killed Michael and taken his body to a junkyard to drop it in the metal shredder.

Then, suddenly, the police weren’t so sure all 12 victims had been Michael’s. They weren’t sure any of them had been. They found Corey’s fingerprints and DNA, clear as day, incontestable, on a glass door at one of the scenes. Everyone who died was connected to him somehow, including both of his parents. Laurie gave a statement that Corey had stolen Michael’s infamous mask and emulated him in a murder spree for days leading up to Halloween. When he woke up, if he woke up, he’d be arrested.

He occupied your thoughts for the whole month of November. A sick obsession you couldn’t shake. For years Kristin had told you about the way people talked about him, how even though he’d been acquitted, people treated him like he was just as bad as Michael. You read everything you could about him. It wasn’t hard for you to understand how being told you’re evil every day could make you snap — they wanted it, and he gave it to them.

The cops were keeping the hospital Corey was in out of the news, but when word came along the grapevine that he had woken up and been moved out of the ICU, you asked Kristin to find out. She gleefully delivered. You wrote him a letter. Really you wrote so many letters you lost count, trying and failing to express your sympathy, your hope that he would recover and beat the charges, struggling to decide what tone the letter should take. Finally you felt like you had done the best you could, and you dropped it in the mail. You weren’t sure why you did it, or what you expected to come from it. Something in you just needed to reach out to him. To let him know, even after everything, he wasn’t alone.

<3 <3 <3

You sink into the bathtub. You never thought you would get married. The whole thing always seemed so hokey and archaic. But only spouses and children are entitled to unsupervised family visits at the prison. You can’t keep spending every visit you make with a guard breathing down your neck, barking at you every time you dare to reach across the table for Corey’s hand, timing your hugs when you get there and when you leave. Sporadic phone calls and driving 6 hours to sit across from him for 45 minutes once a week aren’t enough. It was a hell of a lot of paperwork, and you feared that the publicity your relationship had received during the trial would lead the warden to prohibit the wedding, but after months of red tape, you finally got the word. The marriage was approved.

You slather your legs in gritty body scrub, massaging scratchy circles. When you trust that all the dead skin has been obliterated, you plunge your legs back below the surface of the water. Bubbles plume around you. You want your skin to be silky for Corey. You know he’s touch starved in there. Affection between inmates is highly frowned upon, and he doesn’t have many friends anyway.

The other prisoners resent his notoriety. More than once you’d come for a visit and his beautiful features were hidden from you under bruises and swelling from getting jumped again. When you expressed your concern, Corey just smirked. “You should see the other guy,” he told you. You worry about him, but you’d be lying if you denied feeling a little pang between your legs when you think about how dangerous he is. You believe the other guy looks much worse.

<3 <3 <3

11 days after you sent your letter, you stopped in your apartment building’s mail room after work. Your mailbox was stuffed with what looked like the usual stack of garbage, but as you shuffled the envelopes on your way up the stairs something different caught your eye. A handwritten address, and not one of those bullshit fake handwritten ones from the cable company. You broke into a sprint, zooming up the remaining flights of stairs to your apartment. You slammed the door behind you prompting your roommate to shout at you from their bedroom. The sound of their protests barely registered. Hands trembling, you opened the envelope.

You read Corey’s response, and then you read it again. And a third time, still leaning against the front door of your apartment. The officer assigned to guard my room is writing this for me. I can’t move my arms yet, he began. Your letter meant a lot to me. I’ve been awake for two weeks today and you’re the first person who isn’t a nurse, a cop, or a lawyer that I’ve heard from. The letter was brief and a little stilted, but that was understandable. He probably had to be very careful, especially since he was dictating directly to a cop, not to say anything that could be used against him in court.

You sent your reply the next morning. After that his response came quicker, and again you sent something back right away, including a photo of yourself at his request. A few days before Christmas you heard from Kristin that Corey’s address at the hospital had gotten out, been published somewhere online. In his next reply Corey himself confirmed it. I’m getting a ton of letters now… They want me to write a book and turn the book into a movie… I’ve never gotten this much attention before… I always look for something from you first. But the most interesting part of that particular letter came at the end.

You’re so pretty. I had them prop the photo you sent up on my bedside table. I can move a little more now, so I can actually look at it. I hope that’s not weird. I talked to my lawyer about putting you on my visitor’s list. You should get a letter from his office soon. He’ll help, if you want to come see me. That’s all I want for Christmas.

<3 <3 <3

Fully clean, exfoliated, and conditioned, you rise from the tub. You’ve had butterflies in your stomach all morning, but they multiply as you dry off and look at yourself in the mirror. You’re starting to realize why more traditional brides tend to have huge entourages around them. Despite your disdain for marriage as an institution and your unconventional circumstances, you still wish there was someone here. Someone who was happy for you and could make sure the back of your hair looks okay. But nobody in your life even knows about this except for Kristin. The prison doesn’t allow guests at weddings, so she stayed home. You still should’ve asked her to come, to be there before and after.

You do your hair and makeup under the bright vanity lights. You always try to look your best when you visit Corey, but today is a special occasion. If not the wedding, then what happens after. Your first time getting more than 45 minutes with him in months, your first time alone with him in longer. You think about his hands. What a special pair of hands. Broad and freckled and strong. A huge, gnarled scar across his left palm. The hands that wrote you all those letters. The hands that took 10 lives and have broken countless bones in the other inmates’ faces, but would never ever touch you with anything other than love. You finally get to feel them on your skin again today. And that makes everything worth it.

You go to the closet and take out a long garment bag. You lay the bag on the bed and pull the zipper down. You can’t help but laugh. When the wedding was approved, the prison sent you a massive list of requirements, including a ridiculously long and yet somehow vague dress code. Nothing too full skirted or too heavily beaded. No cleavage. No trains. No veils. That was all fine with you, a cupcake shaped Cinderella gown doesn’t exactly seem appropriate for a prison wedding with no guests, even if the rules allowed it. You just picked something simple, and as sexy as possible without violating the rules. Corey doesn’t know anything about the dress, you tried to talk to him about it and he shut you down. “The groom’s not supposed to know anything about the dress until he sees it,” he told you. Well if he wanted to find room to be a little bit traditional, you could do that too. Turns out you look pretty good in white.

<3 <3 <3

It took until a week into the New Year because everyone was out of the office for the holidays, but you gave Corey his Christmas present. It was extremely awkward at first, sitting in the hard chair next to his hospital bed, a cop leaning against the wall in the corner, pretending not to be listening. He was handcuffed to the bed, just like in the picture you’d seen in your newsfeed that morning. He beckoned subtly for you to lean in towards him and he whispered to you. “My lawyer took that photo. He leaked it himself. He thinks it’ll help people see me sympathetically.” The cop in the corner yelled at him for whispering. You leaned back away from Corey, but he smirked at you. You loved being his conspirator.

The photo of him in the hospital worked. It sparked massive outrage that someone in his condition would be handcuffed. Where did they think he was gonna go? It seemed needlessly cruel, even for a murder suspect. It succeeded in making him more sympathetic with everyone… except your family.

When they found out you had written to him, they could understand why you might want to send a letter or two. They knew about Kristin’s fixation on Michael Myers and that you two were close. Everyone had felt bad for Corey and rooted for him during his manslaughter trial. Around letter number three is when they started to be weird about it. The case against him was mounting, more details were being released. Some of the victims died in really horrific ways, didn’t you understand that it wasn’t just a terrible misunderstanding happening to a handsome young man this time?

They were the ones who didn’t understand. The more you learned about Corey, from the news, from his letters, from the old coverage of his manslaughter trial that you’d been revisiting, the more you believed in him. Not in his innocence necessarily — you didn’t know how to feel about that, going back and forth from being certain he did to to being certain he didn’t. But you believed in his heart. If he did it, he did it for a good reason. That DJ that died had spent years promoting insane theories about him being a part of a cult that worshiped Michael or some bullshit. You couldn’t imagine what that would do to even the kindest of people.

When you got home from the hospital, they were waiting to confront you. Visits were the last straw. It was one thing to be a murderer’s penpal. It was quite another to hang out with him. What could you stand to gain from this, they wanted to know. Apparently genuine connection with another human being was not the answer they were looking for, and hybristophilia wasn’t a funny joke. You just stopped talking to them about him. They knew, or at least suspected that you were still visiting him, that when you were “busy” every weekend you were really with Corey. But if you didn’t talk about it, it wasn’t a problem.

When he was discharged from the hospital, Corey’s lawyer worked to get him on a pre-trial release program where he could be on house arrest instead of in jail until the trial was over. He wasn’t supposed to have visitors unsupervised, but you did spend a few glorious hours alone with him, once. He’d been in pre-trial release for a few weeks and realized his release officer was overworked and underpaid and would not be paying very close attention to him. Corey had a short term lease in a shitty apartment building, the only place his lawyer could find with a landlord that agreed to host an alleged murderer on house arrest.

You stood on the stained, threadbare carpet outside his apartment, heart beating in your throat, vibrating with anticipation. You’d planned your visit in innuendo, pretending to tell each other about books you’d been reading, things you’d been up to. The building is really old and drafty, but at least I don’t have bugs, he’d written. The b in bugs in cursive, despite his usual cramped print. Bugs. He’d checked to make sure he wasn’t being listened to. In his coded way, he told you not to knock. So you stood there, kneading the floor with your sneakers, trusting he would check for you through the peephole soon.

Then the door swung open, and there he was. Standing up! No spinal halo, no neck brace, in sweatpants and a t-shirt instead of a hospital gown. His survival was so miraculous, you kind of never thought you’d get to see him like this. Heat flooded your cheeks as you made eye contact with him. He reached out and grabbed your wrist with his giant hand, gently pulling you into the apartment and into his chest as he closed the door. You were so unprepared for that first hug. You’d never gotten so wet from just a hug before, but feeling his arms slide around your waist made you gush.

He couldn’t stand up for very long yet, so he led you to the couch. He sat in the corner, half against the back, half against the arm stacked with pillows, and folded one leg towards him. You sat sideways to face him. He asked about your job, what was going on in the world out there, you asked him how he was adjusting to life outside the hospital bed. The arousal you felt from the hug refused to subside. You found yourself struggling to focus on the conversation, inching closer to him, watching his lips while he complained about how uncomfortable the ankle monitor was.

“Can I see it?” You asked.

“If you want to,” he said. He pulled the hem of his pants back on the leg folded on the couch between the two of you, and there it was, a little green light on it blinking. Your nails were longer than Corey’s and your fingers were more slender, so you slipped the tips of them under the strap and scratched. His lips parted in a sigh.

“Be careful. It has a sensor thing, so they know if you’re fucking with it.”

“Okay,” you whispered, scratching and rubbing all the way around his thick ankle, trying to jostle the monitor as little as possible. “Is that better?”

You looked up from his ankle to his face, and caught sight of an imprint in his sweatpants on the way up.

“Yeah, much better. Thank you,” he breathed.

You leaned in to him, pulled as if by a magnet. “No problem,” you said, face only inches away from his. You hovered, basking in the tension between you, until he brought his hand to cup your jaw and urged you towards him, closing the gap.

The warmth of his lips set your whole body alight. Your heart raced. You wanted to pounce on him but you had to be gentle. It was painful to restrain yourself, and you could tell he had the same problem. But you would take him any way you could get him. You took his top lip into your mouth and ran the tip of your tongue across it, following its gorgeous arch. He sank his teeth into your bottom lip. You moaned into his mouth, and he groaned back, reaching out to put his hands on your hips. You could tell from the way he dug his fingers in that if he had the strength, he would be yanking you into his lap, so you hurried to straddle him.

You hiked your skirt up to set your soaking panties directly on the bulge in his pants, rocking your hips ever so slightly.

“I’ve wanted you since you sent me that picture,” he said in a strained voice. “I hoped you would be pretty, but I didn’t expect you to be so pretty.”

“I have you beat. I’ve wanted you since I saw your mugshot in 2019.”

“You have?” He asked, looking at you in confused wonder.

“I thought you were devastatingly hot, and it’s even worse in person. I was almost your 14th alleged victim the first time I saw you in person.”

His face changed from awestruck to a cocky, almost creepy smile. You leaned back from him, standing up off the couch and his smile only got bigger as you took off your shirt and dropped your skirt to the floor. In just your underwear and a simple bralette you sunk to your knees in front of him. You put one hand on his thigh and the other on his cock, wrapping your fingers around the shape of it through the fabric, stroking him slowly. His smile fell as his face went slack with pleasure. He put his hands over yours, encouraging your stroking hand, weaving between the fingers of your free hand, and you clenched your thighs together as he moaned your name.

You relished making him feel good, treasuring every second with him, so it was extremely difficult to resist just making him cum, sitting on your heels, looking up into those beautiful eyes. But this might be your only chance to feel him inside you, ever.

“I brought a condom,” you purred.

“You- ah- you did?” he panted.

You slipped the fingers of the hand not stroking him out of his grasp and reached behind you into the pocket of your skirt. You held the little foil packet up for him to see and he made a deep, guttural sound. With some shuffling yourselves and the pillows around, you wound up straddling Corey’s lap again, naked and hovering over his latex-sheathed cock. You planted your hands on the back of the couch on either side of his shoulders and lowered yourself down onto him. You let out a long, high whimper as you settled onto his length. For a moment you just rested there, mentally pinching yourself to make sure it wasn’t a dream. You were really doing this, getting this close to Corey Cunningham.

You had to ride him carefully, deliberately, not to hurt him. Every nerve in your body strained as you fought your desire to fuck him, until the frustration itself became erotic for both of you, intensifying the sensations of your gentle movements. When his hands went from resting on your hips to grabbing them, you knew he was close. The thought alone pushed you over the edge and you dropped your face to his shoulder to muffle your whimpers, letting out the ecstasy vocally rather than in frantic spasms that might jostle him too much. Hearing you, feeling you clench, Corey followed suit, cursing and calling your name.

“Is the state paying for this?” You wondered, looking around. You’d both put your underwear back on, but didn’t get any more dressed than that, wanting to maintain skin contact as you sat together on the couch, enjoying the post-sex haze.

“I am. My life’s savings,” he sighed. “It’s not like I’m gonna need it.”

“Don’t say that. You don’t know that.” You admonished him, but really you were saying it for yourself. You couldn’t let go of the tiny sliver of hope that he would beat the charges.

“Do you think I did it?” Corey asked after a few moments of silence.

“What?” You replied, caught off guard.

“Do you think I’m innocent? Or do you think I’m guilty?”

“I… don’t know. The evidence I know about is… pretty damning.” You said falteringly, shifting uncomfortably against him. You’d considered what all the potential outcomes would mean to you. Could you keep seeing him if he really was a murderer? You knew the answer, had known since you heard about the boy who died with the torch in his mouth. Kristin had shared the crime scene photos with you. They were truly grisly, and for days afterwards, the specter of that burnt out face lingered when you closed your eyes. But even being fully confronted with the reality of what he - allegedly - did to those people, you felt nothing but affection for him. Still, you didn’t like the conversation. It seemed inadvisable. He’d checked for bugs but you still couldn’t quite relax.

“Would you be afraid of me, if I told you I really did it?”

“No,” you barely whispered.

“Jeremy, the kid I was babysitting? That really was an accident,” he began. And then he told you everything. Everything, everything. His whole life story, all the things it was too risky to say in his letters. You were still nervous about surveillance, but once he started talking it was like he couldn’t stop. And you couldn’t stop listening either. It was such a rush to hear him describe the kill. You felt all his emotions with him as he spoke. Heartbreak. Elation. Rage.

“You shouldn’t have told me all that,” you said when he finished. You adjusted your position on the couch to look at him better. “I’m so glad you shared it with me, but… They know we’re close. What if they call me as a witness?”

“I’m gonna make sure they don’t need to,” he said, eyes darkening.

“How?”

“You said it yourself. The evidence is pretty damning. The case against me is strong, and I can help the jury decide I’m guilty. The state won’t add you as a witness at the last minute if they feel like they’re winning.”

“Does your lawyer know you’re planning something?”

“No. He told me they didn’t have a case at all. Because of Michael complicating things. So I plead not guilty. But now they have a case. My fingerprints and my DNA at every crime scene. Even though I didn’t shoot Ronald, they’re charging me with that too. My fingerprints were on the gun.”

“Were you going to kill him?” You asked, morbidly curious.

“I hadn’t decided yet,” Corey admitted. “If he had just stayed in the office… It doesn’t matter now.”

For a moment you looked at each other in silence.

“How are you going to help the jury?

Corey chuckled a mirthless, black chuckle. “I’ve been researching all these other famous killers. Gein, Gacy, Dahmer, Bundy, Ramirez, the Manson Family. It’s practically a tradition to do crazy shit in the courtroom. The papers are all calling me a copycat. Why not keep copying?”

“Corey, that’s insane,” you protested.

“I am the psycho babysitter.” He took your hand and stroked your knuckles. “Do you want to help me?”

“Help you get life in prison on purpose?”

You remembered when he whispered to you in the hospital, how good it felt to conspire with him, to tuck his secret into your pocket, where not even Kristin would know. The idea of going to such lengths with him was so tempting, but you wanted him to put up a fight, to argue that the cops already had it out against him because of his history. All he needed to do was give them one little reasonable doubt.

“Look, I’ve been through this before,” he reminded you. “It’s hell. I already know I’m guilty in most people’s minds. There is no getting off this time. There’s only a guilty verdict, or a hung jury, and then I have to do it all again. I want it to be over quickly. I don’t want to wait two weeks for a verdict again. I wanna rip the bandaid off.” His gaze was so intense, you knew he meant it.

“Okay,” you agreed.

<3 <3 <3

When you pull up to the prison, you follow all your usual rituals. Turning your phone off and putting it in the glovebox, giving yourself a pre-pat down pat down to make sure you didn’t slip up and bring something prohibited. You check your hair and makeup in the rearview mirror one last time before heading inside.

You and Corey aren’t the only couple getting married today. The prison does weddings in batches. You’re shuffled into the visitation room with two other women, and a man. They’ve arranged the cafeteria style tables to somewhat resemble an aisle and an alter, and the prison chaplain stands at the far end of the room, prepared to officiate, assembly line style.

You sit anxiously on the edge of your seat, waiting for the prisoners to be brought in. A loud buzzer sounds and the door on the other side of the visitation room swings open. There he is, shackles around his ankles, handcuffs on his wrists, shuffling behind the other inmates. When he sees you his jaw drops in disbelief. You smile and wrinkle your nose at him.

Luckily the two of you are the second couple in line. When it’s your turn, a guard removes the cuffs from Corey’s hands, but not the ones around his ankles. You meet him at the end of the “aisle” and you’re thankful for all the experience you’ve had restraining yourself with him, holding back the force of your affection to be within the rules. Practice has made perfect.

The prison chaplain runs through the standard wedding vow script. You sign the marriage license and hand the pen to Corey. You just got fucking married. You’re allowed one brief kiss. Then a guard comes over with a polaroid camera and takes two pictures, one for each of you, before they put the cuffs back on Corey’s wrists and lead you out of the visitation room.

Rather than going through the prison, you’re escorted out into the yard and around the side of the building. The guard buzzes you through several doors and leads the way down a long hall. Finally you come to a door that sits ajar. Inside is a little room that reminds you of the dorm you lived in as a freshman in college. More than just a bedroom, but not quite a whole studio apartment, full of simple, sterile furniture. The guard releases Corey from his restraints, both sets this time, then locks you into the room with him for the next 6 hours.

You stand motionless next to Corey as the sound of the guard’s footsteps retreat down the hallway. When you can’t hear them anymore, you turn towards him and break into a massive smile.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey,” he replies, grinning back.

Then you collide. Kissing messily, hungrily, violently. He wraps his arms around your waist and crushes you against him with surprising strength. You cling to him, desperate to get closer, wanting to eliminate the space between you all the way down to the molecular level.

Within seconds his thick fingers are roaming, trying to figure out how to get your dress off of you. Still kissing him, his tongue filling your mouth, you put the bottom hem of your dress in his hand. He gathers it up around your waist and holds it in one big fist while the other hand cups and kneads your ass. You feel a hot flood between your legs, and your clit throbs. You rake his scalp with your fingernails as you step out of your shoes.

He hooks his thumb in the waistband of your underwear and yanks them down to your thighs, before returning to get a handful of ass cheek. You can feel his rock hard cock against your stomach. You push against him, trying to get enough space to actually get undressed, but he won’t let you get farther away from him than a centimeter.

“Corey,” you say against his lips, “We have all night.”

He groans, but he lets you pull away from him. You pull your dress up over your head and drape it over the back of one of the chairs at the little table in the room. Then you step back into him and take over undoing the buttons on the front of his jumpsuit. You get all the way to the bottom and push the sleeves off his shoulders and halfway down his arms before you look away from his face.

“Holy shit. When did all this happen?” You hiss in awe.

When you had been with him before, he was weak from his time in the hospital. Not small, he wasn’t built in a way that would let him be truly small, but he’d lost a lot of muscle just laying there for weeks. You could tell he’d bulked up some since then, but the jumpsuit obscured the true extent of his progress. You squeeze one of his biceps and he flexes it in your hand. The muscle hardening under your hand makes your clit throb.

That isn’t the only surprise though. He’s got tattoos. So many tattoos. He’d mentioned to you on the phone that he was trying to figure out how to build a tattoo machine, that he liked the intellectual challenge presented by his limited resources, but you had no idea it was going to be used on him.

“I guess you got that tattoo machine working.”

He laughs. “I was gonna tell you, but when we started trying to get married, I thought you might like the surprise.”

“I do,” you half moan, half giggle.

You squat in front of him and pull the jumpsuit the rest of the way off of him, leaving him in a tight thin tank and his prison issue briefs, already so wet with precum they’re see through in that spot. You ache to have him inside you. You rub your hands over his thighs, then slide them under his shirt as you stand back up. He reaches behind you and unhooks your bra. You let the straps slide down your arms and drop it to the floor.

Corey grabs your hips and pulls you in for a hard kiss, then uses his grip on you to spin you around, so your back is pressed against him. The desire to grind back against his cock overtakes you immediately, and you thrust your hips into him hard. He reaches under your arms to grab your tits, massaging them, pinching your nipples. Your underwear are still pulled halfway down and you can feel his wetness on your skin. You let out a deep moan.

The room is narrow and it only takes a gentle push from Corey for you to be on the bed on your hands and knees. He pulls your underwear the rest of the way off and finishes undressing himself. You requested condoms on one of the hundreds of forms you filled out to get married, and the prison provided three in silver foil on the little table. As Corey unwraps one and slides it over his raging erection, you wiggle your hips, putting on a show for him.

“Fuck,” he huffs, stepping toward the edge of the bed.

You feel the mattress sink as he kneels behind you, lining himself up. He rubs the tips of his cock against your pussy, tracing circles outside your entrance. You look back over your shoulder at him. His chest and face are flushed a deep red and his eyes look almost black. The sight is too much to take and you jerk your hips towards him. He takes the hint and slides himself in, all the way in.

You both cry out in unison. Corey pulls almost all the way out of you, then slams back into you, so hard you both lurch forward. Your knees slip out from under you and you end up flat on your stomach with your arms pinned under your chest. He comes down with you, but catches himself with his arms on either side of your head.

Corey pounds you. You thought you’d been fucked before, but you had been mistaken. This is fucking. With every thrust, the bed hits the wall and bounces off. He’s so deep, hitting just the right spot, so fast and so hard your moans all blend together into one long wail. He presses his forehead between your shoulder blades as he slams you into the thin mattress. It feels so good, all your other thoughts completely dissolve. You get one arm out from under you and wrap that hand around his veiny, freckled forearm. Your fingers don’t even make it halfway around.

Your long, unbroken sound changes from a moan to his name, spelled with 100 O’s.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he grunts.

It feels so insane, you don’t think it could possibly feel better, but the pleasure builds and it does. It feels better and better and better until you unravel completely, knowing you're screaming but unable to hear it, the orgasm ravaging your whole body. And it doesn’t stop. Corey keeps thrusting and you keep cumming, your vision going white until finally, with a growl of your name, he collapses the rest of the way, all his weight crushing you.

You take the deepest breaths you can with him pinning you down, your brain completely fried, until you’re brought back to earth by him pulling out and standing up. You roll onto your back and groggily watch him remove the condom, tossing it into a small trash can under the table. A shy smile crosses his face when he sees you watching. He lies down next to you and puts his arms around you gently, all the animal lust gone from him for the moment.

“I love you, Corey Cunningham,” you say.

“I love you too, Mrs. Cunningham,” he says. You both laugh.

Your eyes fall onto the clock on the wall behind him. You have five hours and two condoms left and you intend to get everything you can out of them.

end note:

While writing this, I found out that Illinois actually does not have conjugal visits or any kind of private spousal or family visitation for prisoners. Most states don't. And many prisoners never even get letters. If you have the time and inclination, I highly suggest getting in contact with a service that provides prisoners with pen pals. Many of them let you choose to only write letters to people serving certain types of sentences for your comfort, for example if you want to write to someone serving life, or if you'd prefer to only talk to those convicted of non-violent offenses. No matter what crimes they may have committed, prisoners are people and people need connection and support.

And if you think the whole system is broken, I highly recommend reading about prison abolition.

#corey cunningham #corey cunningham x reader #corey cunningham smut #mine #smut #fan fic

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notstilinski · 11 months

Text

Highly Suspicious & Unfairly Cute Starters !

Taken from the 2023 novel by Talia Hibbert, Highly Suspicious & Unfairly Cute! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“If they turn up dead tomorrow, you’re boing to be arrested.”

“What is this betrayal?”

“Your grace and maturity continue to astound me.”

“You absolute living demon.”

“Is that how you speak to the greatest sibling of all time?”

“You don’t think I did this on purpose, do you? You know I didn’t. Right? (Name). Do you?”

“It’s shit, I know it’s shit, I realize we’re not friends or anything, but I didn’t mean… I didn’t want to hurt you. Of course I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Are you possessed? You are, aren’t you?”

“Has my room recently been declared public thoroughfare?”

“Maybe I’d be polite to you if I thought you were even physically capable of being polite back.”

“Do you enjoy pissing me off? Would you consider it, like, a hobby?”

“Tell me the last relationship you built. Quickly.”

“How can you justify all the things you said to them?”

“Be careful. Behave yourself. And stick with (Name).”

“Aw, (Name). You don’t have to beg.”

“Please stop saying that before I vomit all over these lovely pants.”

“What do you think I’m going to do, push you into a ditch?”

“Nothing. Just… I knew your quiet and polite routine couldn’t last.”

“I thought you liked it when I kept my mouth shut.”

“You were embarrassed of me. That was the problem. That makes you the bad guy.”

“One day they’ll find out how weird you really are, (Name). You know that, right?”

“The way I see it, we weren’t ever meant to be friends. Whatever we used to be was… accidental or circumstantial…”

“I can’t spend days at a time fighting with you, (Name).”

“Just… warm a person up first, would you?”

“If you went on much longer, I was just gonna push you until you laid down, then turn off the lights.”

“(Name) says a lot of things. They’re incurable positive.”

“Absolute trust leads to absolute heartbreak.”

“For legal reason, I can neither confirm nor deny.”

“I had no idea (Name)’s birthday was an issue of legal contention.”

“Newsflash, your entire family loves me. You’re the only one who needs to get with the program.”

“Cheer up. This is an experience. We’re living life on the edge.”

“Shut up. They’re cold.”

“I’m in turmoil. How could anyone eat at a time like this?”

“Fighting off bears in the woods must forge powerful bonds.”

“Nothing. Ineffectuality is your defining trait.”

“Don’t talk shit to them again. Leave them alone.”

“You’re avoiding a conversation about our friendship because you avoid your feelings.”

“I’m not like you. I really don’t have the whole emotional intelligence thing down.”

“I’ll stop being weird with you, and you stop examining the darkness in my soul, or whatever. Yeah?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. Even if neither of us did anything interesting in our entire lives, it wouldn’t matter.”

“You don’t need to be special or significant to have value. You’re just import, anyways, and people either see that or they don’t. They either love you, or they don’t.”

“Contrary to everything you just said, (Name), I know for a fact that you are very smart.”

“Are you telling me you’re not in love with (Name)?”

“But you know what I care about? Whether or not you’re happy with your bitter, vengeful choices. Are you? Happy?”

“Do you know what you just said to me? Or were you, like, in an emotional fugue state and you’re going to snap out of it and forget the entire thing?”

“You are so repressed.”

“No. When I pulled you on top of me and, you know, gazed dreamily into your eyes and said I liked you, I did not mean as friends. Obviously.”

“You shouldn’t be allowed to look at people like that when you’re interrogating them.”

“I’m not telling you not to have feelings. I’d never tell you what to do in your own head.”

“Is work the only thing people are supposed to dream about? I thought fantasies were supposed to be fun.”

“You’re not allowed to flirt with me while (Name) is in the building.”

“Do you know how annoying it is that intrusive thoughts come almost every time you want things to go well?”

“I shouldn’t feel like this. No one should be able to make me /feel/ like this.”

“Just kiss me. That’s all. What’s a little tongue between friends?”

“I spill my tortured forbidden guts and all you can say is it makes sense?”

“Buddy. We talked about this. Stop memorizing sad statistics.”

“I wish you’d trust me, (Name). I really, really do.”

“Why is your face doing that at this hour of the morning?”

“It’s my natural sunny disposition.”

“I’m not, like, helping you. Just glad I won’t be the only family disappointment.”

“Aren’t you angry at me? For… hiding it?”

“I know you wanted to end it, but I can’t just… suddenly change how I feel about you. I’m trying. All right?”

“The point is, I want to take the risk because I want you. And I trust you. And you’re worth it! Do you get that? You’re worth it to me.”

“(Name), are you sweating? What have I told you about bodily functions? Only in private.”

“Are you gonna propose when we go to McDonald’s later?”

#roleplay meme #rp meme #starter sentences #sentence starters #ask meme #ask prompts #inbox memes #inbox prompts #novel sentence starters #the way this book had me giggling & kicking my feet ....

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lewhis · 4 months

Text

Now I Realize

pairing: louis x reader (she/her)

rating: M

warnings: self-esteem issues

summary: An invitation to a party in LA forces you to revisit a chapter of your life that you thought you'd left behind. You struggle to reconcile who you used to be with who you have become - and are they truly separate entities?

A story of what it is to be young and in love, followed by what it is to be a little older, a little wiser, and still maybe, hypothetically, still a little in love.

***

I hadn’t thought about him in years.

Okay, that wasn’t true. Of course, I thought about him. He was a central fixture of my life for a long-ass time. Not thinking about him would be like not thinking about your stint in high school, or your first apartment, or your first job. I didn’t think about him all the time, but he was bound to come up every now and again, tied to the tail-end of some other memory to which he was inextricably linked. He popped up from time to time, but I wasn’t actively digging him up. Not anymore.

There was a time when I thought about him every day. That’s almost a post-breakup requirement, isn’t it? The pining. The moping. The late-night subtweeting, hoping against hope he might see me on his feed and think, “You know what? I’m a moron. And an asshole. I miss her.” It was all pretty pathetic. Exactly the sort of shit he would have teased me for, had we still been friends. But we weren’t friends. Not anymore. And there was no one around to witness my shame except for me.

But, as I said, that was years ago. I shed my tears, felt my feelings, drank a lot of wine, and I got the fuck over it.

Left to my own devices, I would have continued not thinking about him for many months more to come, until finally his prominence in my memories would fade completely into the background, and I’d be truly free to live my new, Louis-free life – a life which I had just begun to truly accept.

But that didn’t happen. Because Niall Horan is a fucking liar.

September, 2020.

I’d been living in my hometown again since the breakup. Got myself a, eh, decent one-bedroom apartment just outside the city and managed to drum up a more or less steady income doing special effects work for a few local film companies. (All the money that I didn’t spend on a nicer apartment went toward the monthly rental of my studio space.) Most recently, I’d been in talks with some folks putting together the pilot episode of a horror series. They were looking to pitch it to Netflix as soon as possible, and the producers assured me my monster makeup would be the ticket to winning them over.

I wouldn’t lie: the money wasn’t, like, a lot, or anything – certainly nowhere close to what I’d been pulling in my former life – but it was livable. I was making it work. And besides, I was never cut out for all the high-stakes glamour and fame, not even as a tangential player. I didn’t have to worry about behind-the-scenes staff photogs snapping my picture while I was trying to work, and I didn’t have to live with the knowledge that millions of seething, rabid, hormonal fans would later dissect every single frame for signs that I was infringing on their imagined territory. Yikes. My 550 square-foot sweatbox of a studio on the least-scary scary side of town was way better, by comparison.

The me who went to all those places and did all those things was an entirely separate person. Aside from a few reoccurring stress dreams and a modest nest egg in my savings account, I hadn’t come away from that time with anything tangible, anything lasting.

Well, unless you counted Niall.

We didn’t talk all the time. Not even every day, or every week. But I could count on Niall for a meme in my inbox now and again. I’d get a “whats the craic” and a sunglasses emoji at least once a month, and we’d chat for a little while if we had the time. We bantered, mostly. Kept it light – and we never talked about love-lives, as a rule.

I was elbows-deep (literally) in a ten-hour sculpting session for the pilot project when my phone rang. The only calls I ever got in the middle of the day were spam, so I was primed to hit decline out of habit alone, at least until I saw NIALLER splashed across the screen above a backstage selfie of us from Way-Back-When. He’d lost some stupid bet to Liam that night and, as punishment, had to go on stage with his hair (temporarily) dyed bright orange. It looked horrifying. After I’d finished the dye job for him, he said we should get a picture together, “seein’ as we’re both in the ginger club now.” (That, a reference to the fact that, although I frequently liked to change up my hair, I was a decided redhead for most of that tour.)

This – the call itself – was a total breach in protocol; Niall never called. Firstly, because he was always travelling and could never be assed to keep the time differences straight, and he never wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night if it wasn’t an emergency. Second, Niall was more of a FaceTime kind of guy, just in general. He (and others) had tried many times in the past to cajole me into switching to an iPhone, but I was a lifelong Android girlie; it just wasn’t happening. So, we defaulted to texting.

With both of these factors in mind – thinking this was either an emergency call or a butt-dial – I scrambled to wipe a palm full of clay slurry on the front of my overalls. I still wound up with a quarter-sized smear on my phone screen. Oh, well. Wouldn’t be the first time. Quickly, I jabbed at the screen a second time and switched it to speaker mode.

“Niall? Hey, can you hear me?”

“Y/N!” was his response, sung in vibrato. It certainly didn’t sound like he was having an emergency, nor did he sound surprised to be hearing my voice. So, probably not a butt-dial.

“Niall!” I said again. “Um. Just-- Hang on a second—” Holding my hands up like I was scrubbing in for surgery, I maneuvered my way around to a basket full of scrub cloths in the corner.

“Why d’you sound like you’re in a metal bucket?”

“Because I basically am!” I called from across the room. “Sorry, I’m in the studio. Gimme a second to wash up.” My phone was a good six feet away, on a table amidst various sculpting tools. In between that table and the clean-up area were four tables the size of barstools, placed around the room in such a way that a me-sized person could still manage to maneuver around and between them. On each stool were four sculpts at various stages of completion.

(Would it have made more sense to work on one sculpt at a time before beginning a second, a third, or a fourth? Maybe. But this was my process.)

Any response that Niall might have made was lost to the sound of running water gurgling out of the wash sink. The solidified clay coating all sides of my hands soon liquified under the spray and then went spiraling down the drain. I dried my hands on another rag and made my way back to my phone.

“Almost there,” I said, a little strained as I picked around the various delicate obstacles. “It’s a maze in here right now. I’m doing, like, four monster suits for this guy’s Netflix pilot. The script isn’t great, but these masks are gonna be—Shit.” My breath caught in my throat. There was a brief moment of panic when I thought I elbowed a Mothman sculpt in the face, but I’d only managed to catch the cement shoulder of the cast underneath.

Niall let out a laugh, which crackled through the speakers of my weathered phone. “You good?”

“Yeah.” My hands hovered around Mothman’s head, ready to catch him if he toppled over. “Yes? Yes. Okay, yeah! He’s good. I might have overestimated the size of my space when I took this job.” Finally, I made it to the desk with clean hands and no toppled monster heads. I seized my phone, switched off of speaker phone, and brought it to my ear.

“Hi,” I said resolutely, then laughed. “Sorry. You caught me on, like…” –I glanced at the clock— “Hour ten and a half of my workday. Woof. I might be a little delirious.”

Niall, in his jolly way, responded with another laugh. “You’re crazy, woman. Sounds like you’ve earned a break, then, yeah? Got a second to chat?”

Now that my momentum had been disrupted, I could feel how well and truly drained I was. My back ached from stooping over the sculpts. My head was fuzzy as if I’d just sat for the SAT, and there was an ominous tingling sensation in my right wrist that said I’d probably overdone it on all the fine detail work. I made a mental note to sleep with my wrist brace on that night.

“Yeah, I think I’m done for the day.” I pulled a folding chair out from under the desk and slumped into it. “What’s up? Is everything okay? I was surprised to see your call.”

“It’s all good,” he assured me. “Just didn’t feel like bangin’ out a text. You’ll be gettin’ an invite in the mail, anyway, but I wanted to invite ya personally.”

“An invite for what?”

“I’m havin’ a party!” I could hear his smile over the phone. “For my birthday. Also, just ‘cause parties are awesome. You in?”

I hated myself at that moment because my mind only went to one place. I knew instantly that Niall had heard my hesitation, and he knew the cause.

“Louis won’t be there.” He said it casually. Not a bribe or a placation, just a fact. “Talked to him already. He’s got something goin’ in San Diego that same night.”

“Oh, I see. So, I’m getting the invite because he won’t be there. Wow, Niall. I thought I got you in the divorce.”

“Sorry, love. Gotta split custody.” He cracked a laugh. “And don’t gimme none of that. You would’a gotten an invite no matter what. Just, now you’ve got no excuse not to come!”

He had me there. Niall might not seem it, but he was always an organized guy. Good at planning things. As of that phone call, I’d have over a month to get my shit together and carve out a few days to fly cross-country for his party. Even with the upcoming pilot project, I knew I’d be able to swing it.

“Alright, fine,” I said, putting on airs like he was really twisting my arm. In reality, I was smiling. “Where’s the party at?”

“My place in LA. Got a load of people comin’. There’s gonna be food, music, a ton of drinkin’, all that shite. And I’ve got extra rooms, so you can stay with me!”

I could already feel a bit of that old excitement coming back. The kind of giddiness that my old self used to feel when there was some big red-carpet event on the horizon. Not that a birthday party at Niall’s (albeit enormous) house was anything overly glamorous, but it was the closest I’d been to that world since I was unceremoniously booted out. It’d be fun, I thought, to dip my toes back in for a few days.

We talked for another thirty minutes. Niall asked for some pics of the sculpting I’d done today. He name-dropped a few other people on the guest list (none of The Lads, he told me [and it was always said that way, with the implied proper nouns – The Lads] would be able to make the party.) I asked if he’d been working on any new music lately, and if he’d ever fixed the warped neck of his favorite acoustic guitar. Then, we fell into the usual banter and jokes until, finally, it was time to hang up.

“I’m really glad you’re gonna be there, Y/N.” It was said so sincerely, and I felt my chest tighten with affection for my friend. Never once – not before, not then, nor any moment since – did I think that Niall harbored anything but completely platonic affection for me, and that was perfectly alright; it was a mutual feeling.

“Me too, Niall. I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“Cheers.”

As I pulled the phone away from my ear to end the call, that picture of Niall with his stupid orange hair and me, with orange dye staining the very same hand that was raised in a peace sign, flashed up on the screen again. It stayed for a moment before defaulting to my home screen. Without questioning myself, I pulled up Niall’s contact info, then tapped his profile photo. It expanded to full size, even larger than it had been on the call screen.

It had been a long time since I actually looked at that picture. We were younger, then – God, how had I not realized at the time how young I was? – and it was obvious that we were tired. That show would’ve been during the middle of the tour, when most of the shows felt like fever dreams interspersed between long stints on the tour buses or – if we were lucky – crammed into airplane seats. We were stressed – me, because I had to get back to makeup if there was any hope of their opener being on time; Niall, because, well, duh, it was his show, and he was scheduled for a phone interview right before they went on. Despite all that – and maybe because we were so young and so full of an energy that I could no longer hope to fathom – despite all the stress and the shit, we had fun during those days.

Somewhere between that selfie and that present moment in my sweaty little studio, I’d gotten older. Old enough to have sympathy for that girl in the picture who thought that just because all her friends were pop stars and she was just the help, she mattered less, somehow.

And we were friends, back then. All of us. Me and Liam would bond over video games. Harry would let me raid his closet or style his hair and we’d talk for ages, without self-consciousness. Zayn and I liked to hide out on the bus or in someone’s hotel room, and we’d spend a few hours in almost total silence except for the few words it took to ask the other person to pass the drawing pencils, or to look over a sketch. I didn’t actually see a lot of Niall, back then. Not one-on-one. His girlfriend (now his ex; and in many ways, she was my ex, too) was never happy unless one or both of us gave her our complete, undivided attention. Niall and I didn’t truly start to bond until After (again, always a proper noun), because it was only After that we realized we could bond over a truly shared experience.

Only one person left off that mental rollcall (well, two, really.) I felt myself wanting to slam the gate shut, as I had so many times before. No more memory lane today! Road’s closed! Because again, I didn’t think about him anymore, remember? But I looked back down at that very young, very happy, very weary girl in the photo, and I realized that, for her sake, I shouldn’t try to block those memories out. Because she was me. I was her. Try as I might to draw a line between the two, there was no “this life” and “old life.” There was no pretending that those hard, scary times had never happened. And there was no point, either, in acting like those hard, scary times hadn’t come with more than their fair share of happy times, too.

And not just happy: the happiest.

Is that why I felt that rock in my gut every time I started to think about Way-Back-When? Was I afraid, somewhere deep down inside, even though I was a grown woman now, far removed from that very young, very scared girl that I’d been then – was I afraid that the happiest days of my life had already come and gone?

Yes, I was. I knew that I was. I could feel that fear settling into my toes and oozing up my spine.

Because no matter how many happy memories I had in my head, no matter how many days I spent feeling so grateful that I’d found people who knew me and loved me and wanted me to stick around—where was I now?

We were friends, back then. All of us. But we weren’t anymore.

⬇️ read the rest on ao3! ⬇️

#i was literally thisclose to deleting this thing and giving up but instead im doubling down #reblog to help a friend??#louis tomlinson #x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #one direction #where we are tour

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fanboo · 1 year

Text

Work, Work, Work

Sapnap

Highschool AU

You didn’t care much for school. As long as you kept your grades passing, you were fine. The only class you really liked was your third period, and it was because you got to build stuff. And also because you liked talking to Sapnap.

He kept to himself for the most part, and he interested you. He was good friends with two of the upperclassmen in your class, George and Dream. And kinda you too. You were a year ahead of him, had transferred into the class after getting a schedule change to avoid an ex. The teacher frequently made the two of you build together, and you couldn’t help but admit you were crushing on the guy.

When you told Dream, who you were great friends with, he raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like that! He actually talks to me. He listens, Dream. When we’re working with the other guys and he can’t figure something out, he asks me before them, and they’re way better at me than this. Also, whenever we build, we just talk about whatever and it’s amazing. We throw ideas back and forth and we give each other feedback; he let me tell him about dating you know who and didn’t make the normal comments,” you gushed. Your friend had just sighed and given you a look. “You know how he is. He’s like a brother to me, but if you like him I won’t argue. It might do him some good to take a break for once…”

You agreed with that. Sapnap was always working in class, and you’d frequently join him on projects at lunch, too. The two of you would talk about whatever while you watched him build and occasionally helped. He let you attack him with questions about whatever you wanted to know, so you liked to do that. You were doing so today when you stopped mid sentence to grab something for him. “How come everyone knows you as some violent dude? You seem calm to me,” you said, passing him a hammer. He used it to free a bolt. “Cause I used to punch walls when I got mad. Got in a couple fights.“

“But not anymore, right? I mean, you always feel so relaxed. Besides the constant working, at least.” Sapnap stopped working to look at you with an eyebrow raised, and you hoped to god your face wasn’t as red as it felt. “I guess. The work is relaxing. Why the curiosity?” He asked. You shrugged and moved so he could reach a wrench. “I’m curious about people. And you’re a people, so…” He shrugged and went back to working. “Fair enough I guess.”

A few moments of silence passed before he spoke again. “So when are you gonna admit you like me? Because I know you do. It’s not like you hide it,” he said. Though it caught you off guard, it wasn’t wrong. Ignoring your desire to just run away, you sat in a more comfortable position. “I mean. I don’t exactly try to hide it. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. We’ve got a nice lil friendship as it is.” The boy stoped building entirely to give you his full attention. “To be fair you didn’t give me much choice,” he joked. “Look, I told you to tell me go away if I annoyed you. You did not. It’s not all me.”

“True. How long have you liked me?” You shrugged. “Bout a month and a half. You’re cool and interesting and shit. And I like your style.” Sapnap nodded, looked away, looked back at you. “Sooo…. Are you gonna ask to hang out outside of school or do I have to?”

He prompted. The two of you laughed. “You’re an ass. Here’s my number, text me when you’re free and I’ll come get you. We can chill at my place, or you can help me clean my room since you like working so much,” you said, handing him your phone. Sapnap put your number in his phone. “I think I can chill for a bit,” he said with a grin.

(I like this dude in my class but I’m graduating before him and I’m so mad.)

#mcyt fanfiction #mcyt #reader insert #dream smp #mcytumblr #sapnap #sapnap x reader #dteam

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badwritinghabit · 10 months

Text

Chef's Kiss | Carmy x fem!OC x Luca | Chapter 4

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist | Ao3

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, Carmy panicking

Word Count: 2,501

Summary: Sophie and Sydney bond over dealing with Carmy's bullshit. And Sophie and Carmy get close in the kitchen.

Sophie started building a friendship with Sydney, the sous chef in Carmy’s kitchen. Their short time cooking together at The Beef acted as an introduction and when Sophie ran into Sydney at a farmer’s market, they reconnected and ended up spending the afternoon together. They wandered the market and eventually decided to chat over coffee and pastries at a coffee shop nearby.

The two bonded over their experiences in restaurants, exchanging stories. Sophie learned about Sydney’s catering experience and her time in culinary school. Sophie shared about her time in San Diego, how she missed California but had to admit Chicago had its own charm.

Sydney updated her about the restaurant. Carmy and the crew at The Beef had found money Mikey was hiding in cans of tomatoes. And they were planning to rebuild into an entirely new fine dining spot, with a window to keep hold of their roots and still sell their famous sandwiches.

Sophie was happy for them. Carmy had talked about his dream to help Mikey turn the restaurant into the Bear for so long. Syd was also excited to be working in a restaurant more fitting of her experience. She deserved the role of CDC and Sophie was thrilled for her.

“I needed this,” Sydney sighed into her coffee mug, looking at Sophie after she vented some of her frustrations. “Carmy is driving me insane.”

“Yeah?”

“He’s been even more unresponsive lately. And I know after his brother– I mean, I can’t imagine.” Sydney had quieted. “Tina was telling me how close they were. How Mikey had been a little unstable but no one ever expected–” she trailed off and Sophie went cold.

“Richie told me he had passed but I didn’t realize.. he- Mikey killed himself?” Sophie asked, feeling her heart start to race.

“You didn’t know? Oh shit. I assumed since you and Carmy were friends you must’ve– it was all over the internet too. With the Beef. There was a couple articles. And Carmy being Carmy…” Sydney was clearly uncomfortable, feeling guilty for spilling something she worried she shouldn’t have.

“No it’s okay, Syd. Carmy and I hadn’t really talked since he went to work at Noma. And I hadn’t really kept up with his career,” Sophie regretted not trying harder to keep track of where he had ended up.

“It’s hard because I know it explains some of this. I can’t blame him. But also, this is my future too. I can’t risk my career if he isn’t all in. And he keeps leaving me hanging.”

“You are absolutely right. Even if he has a reason it doesn’t make it okay for him to abandon you,” Sophie agreed, head still spinning with the news of Mikey’s suicide. “Damn, sorry Syd. I wish I could help. I don’t think me talking to him would be any help though.”

“Did something happen between you? It seemed like you two were talking and now you’re avoiding each other,” Syd said, leaving it open for Sophie to respond.

“It’s a long story. We had a bit of a disagreement,” she paused. “But I wish I knew about Mikey. My dad– uh. My dad also took his own life. A few years before I met Carmy actually. So I know what it’s like,” she said, softly. “Should have given him the benefit of the doubt. He has other things on his mind,” she explained.

“Oh I’m so sorry Sophie,” Syd was instantly sympathetic and Sophie nodded. “I’m sure you and Carmy will work it out,” Syd smiled at her encouragingly.

Sophie hoped she was right.

---

It seemed as though Sydney must’ve said something, done some urging, because Carmy called Sophie a few days after they spoke. He asked her to visit, to come see what they were doing with the new restaurant. And to discuss their decor decisions. He said she had the better eye for art and design. She disagreed, Carmy was one of the most detail oriented people she’d ever met. But she did enjoy it and it was a good excuse to put what happened behind them.

Her visit was fairly short and Carmy was quiet, as usual. She learned a little about the stress of kitchen prep, getting all of the permits, making sure the new space was up to code. She met Carmy’s sister Sugar and offered her help where she could.

She still felt a little awkward around him, a little annoyed at him and herself. But she wanted Carmy’s restaurant to be successful. He deserved it.

She left before they could ever interact without Sydney or Sugar also there.

---

Weeks later, Sophie received a call. Carmy’s voice sounded through her phone. “Soph. I– I know this is sudden. But I have an idea for a dish and I was hoping I could cook it for you.”

“A new dish for the menu?” she asked, confused.

“Yes. I had this idea and I couldn't get it out of my head. Could I come over? I want you to try it.”

“Oh– of course, Carm. Tonight?”

“Yeah. If that’s okay,” he sounded unsure. As if he just realized he was making a strange request.

“Yeah. That would be fine. You can come over whenever.”

Carmy called when he got to the front door and she found him outside, looking slightly flustered, holding a giant bag of groceries. She grinned at him and led him upstairs.

“I won’t get in your way but let me know if you need help. Or a taste tester,” she said. She walked back to sit on the couch and tried to work a little on her laptop.

Something about the sounds of Carmy cooking in her apartment made her feel at peace. Like all of the nights in New York, shuffling around in her tiny apartment, cooking into the early hours of the morning. She missed it. The comfort of just having him around. Eventually she stopped pretending to work and found herself just looking over at him while he cooked.

“This feels a lot like New York, doesn’t it?” he asked, as if he could feel her attention on him.

“I was just thinking about that”, she admitted, walking over and leaning against her kitchen island to get a better view of his cooking. She hummed. “Do you remember that night we made those god awful ginger prawns?”

Carmy laughed, loudly, caught by surprise. “Fuck, I forgot about that.”

“My roommates were so mad. Our apartment smelled terrible for a week.” She shook her head with a grin.

“This smells amazing though. Almost like–” She stopped for a second when she saw the chicken and herbs in the cast iron skillet on her stove. “Chicken Paillard?”

“It is. A little bit of a twist. Because you used to be obsessed with potatoes. And bacon lardons.”

“This is like our lazy sunday dish.” She was astonished. “But French.”

“A little French. A little Danish. Mostly just– our dish. It’s what I want the Bear to be. All of the things I love.” Sophie blushed at the softness in his voice.

He had started plating it, his hands sure as he placed the chicken over the salad of greens, roasted veggies, and crisped polenta– alongside the small caramelized potatoes. An herb and lemon scented pan sauce carefully poured over the top. He turned and handed it to her.

She bit her lip but took the plate and looked it over. Devouring the details, the mix of colors, the golden potatoes and the bright greens and the crispy, browned chicken. She took a bite.

“It’s amazing,” she said, knowing she was blushing. After another moment of thought, she looked up at Carmy with wide eyes. “I remember these potatoes. The Danish recipe.” He had cooked them for her the night he told her he was applying to Noma. She remembered so clearly sitting and watching him cook for her. Sad about his possible departure but happy for him. He was so excited. And he deserved good things.

This dish was all of it. It was New York. It was them, sitting in the kitchen at 2am laughing over complete nonsense because they were so exhausted they had become giddy. All of the quiet joy they had found amidst the chaos. She took another bite. Then she slid the plate over to him. He reached over and took a bite as well, looking at it thoughtfully. “You’re too talented for your own good,” she said, voice too intense for what she meant as a way to play off how much it meant to her. For him to make this dish.

He smiled at her, his own cheeks flaring pink. “I’ve been so fucking lost. Making the menu for The Bear. Syd has helped a lot but we’re both just taking swings wildly, trying to make something memorable. But for some reason this afternoon I couldn’t get our chicken dish out of my head. And I wanted to make something that felt like that. I wanted it to feel like your kitchen in New York.”

Her heart pounded. She was getting caught up in him again. She didn’t want to mess it up. She knew what he was going through. With Mikey. Didn’t want to make things worse for him.

“It’s perfect,” she blinked and looked away, trying to cut the tension. “But you improving on our dish feels a little like that terrible Bobby Flay show,” Sophie joked, lightly. He huffed out a laugh before looking at her with his unbelievably emotional eyes. “I think this is my new favorite dish,” she said, thoughtfully. His eyes lit up and she decided to tell him just how much she loved his cooking– had always loved his cooking. “For years my favorite has been that veal saltimbocca you made for us on our last night in New York,” she admitted quietly, hoping he didn’t feel odd about her obsession with his food.

“That was your favorite?” he asked, eyes wide.

“Yeah. Are you kidding me? It was simple but perfect. Back to basics, that’s what we talked about back then, remember? I was so annoyed with fine dining then, turning everything into foam. I feel like that conversation, that dish changed my career. It has stuck with me ever since.” She realized she had rambled, gotten too passionate, and bit her lip.

Carmy had stepped closer to her. “That day– those dolma you made? I tried for months to get that recipe right,” he said to her, eyes burning into hers. She felt the air leave her lungs. It had changed– the energy between them. Her hands gripped the edge of the counter, nervous. “And those caneles– I get a canele every time I see it on a menu now.”

She blushed, feeling nervous energy shoot up her spine as he stood in front of her, hands on either side of her hips against the counter. “I remember wanting to make something so you wouldn’t forget me when you were off traveling the world,” she responded softly.

He was standing so very close and shifted even closer, she moved slightly, making space between her legs so that they were on either side of his hips. Her heart pounded. He moved his hands and the feeling of his palms on her thighs burned through her jeans. “It worked.” It was a whisper.

And then his lips were on hers, the taste of lemon and smoke still on his tongue from the dish. He was soft and gentle, hands unmoving on the outside of her thighs. But she wanted more. She lifted her hand and tangled it into his hair.

Her thoughts had found her here numerous times before but none of it compared to the reality. The feel of his lips against hers. His hands as they smoothed up from her thighs to her hips, pulling her against him. His hand traveled up the curve of her back and cupped the back of her neck, fingers entwined in her hair. She was burning, every inch of her he touched suddenly alight.

And then it was over.

He pulled back and she found herself looking into his eyes. Something had changed. He was pulling away again.

“Wait.” He stepped back and pushed a hand to his forehead. “Shit, I shouldn’t have.” He was panicking, eyes wide. Gripping his hair, he turned and cursed to himself.

She reached out to him, still breathless. Her brain struggled to catch up but something kicked in, seeing Carmy’s clear distress. “Carm, it’s okay. I know you are about to start a restaurant. Not a good time to make things complicated,” she said, quickly changing to comforting mode. She was still thrown for a loop, her lips and fingertips tingling from the kiss. But she was worried about him. “It’s fine,” she said, again. Trying to mollify whatever feelings he was having. Remembering what she learned about Mikey. Knowing he must be so fucking exhausted with it all. She didn’t want to be another problem.

“No.” He shook his head, hands running through his hair. “Fuck. I ran into Claire. From high school.” She recognized the name, of course. The two had talked about their childhoods and she came up. “We ran into each other and then I helped her move some furniture. And she took me to a party.” He had let go of his hair and it fell across his face. He looked disheveled and broken and apologetic. She realized what was happening. He was choosing Claire. Then why did he kiss her?

Her heart raced. Shame burning the pit of her stomach. But she forced herself to respond. The embarrassment and hurt could come later. “Oh that– that’s good, right?” She asked, her voice sounding much more clear and confident than she expected, even with the stutter. “I know what she meant to you,” she said when he remained silent.

Why did you kiss me? She wanted to ask. Wanted to rewind and have him take it back. It wasn’t fair to do this to her. Make a dish for her. For them. Kiss her. Then say he was with someone else.

“I’m–fuck.” His hands were shaking. “Fuck I’m so sorry, Soph.” He walked over to the table and grabbed his jacket. “I’m going.” And he ran out the door.

She stood there in the kitchen as he left. Eventually she turned to look at the plate of food. Their relationship on a plate. Their hopes and dreams as young chefs. The little safe friendship they had built. She grabbed the plate and threw it into the trash.

She felt tears streaming down her face before she realized she had started crying. She walked over to her couch, grabbed her cellphone from the table, and called Mallary.

“Hello?” her sister’s voice answered almost immediately.

“Mal,” Sophie’s voice wavered, a sob escaping before she could help it.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“He kissed me.”

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