#what IS this nnnnoo

[keeps-ache]

[yells down the well]

[sweetie-bri]

Man Eater [Growth Caption]

"Are you sure you can keep going?! ♡" The emphatic woman's breasts wobbled in every direction as they continued to outstretch her shirt. The elastic pressed around her body suppressed her growing hourglass figure.

"I can't help myself!" Screamed the little boy imbetween his moan. He USED to be the man of her dreams, fit, tall and trendy.

The young man was losing height by the inch every time he came in her and couldn't stop. Her growing body was too large to be satisfied by his little thrust but watching her body expand so large WAS a turn-on, so she didn't tell him to stop. ♡

Both the little man and the 9 foot woman were too lost in their own satisfaction to realize how big she was getting.

It didn't matter what the little man did as long as she kept getting bigger she wanted him to never stop.

"Okay, I, I think I'm gonna..." the man was now only a few inches, maybe a foot at most.

"NNnnoo! ♡" The now giantess girl forced his now miniscule body deep into her. Her height, waste and of course breasts surged drastically as the rapidly shrinking little man struggled to get out, failing.

The struggles were enough to make the now 9 foot woman cum, which gave her one last surge to her breasts!

[bisexualsmallishbeans]

Little sibling: *pulling a box out from under my bed*

Me: heyy- put that back please

Sibling: nnnnoo!

Me: but that's my box! and what if there's a spider in it?! and it jumps out and gets you!

Sibling: ... then... I'll easily- *mumbling* get it... fight it...

[automatismoateo]

"Child marriage is normal" via /r/atheism

"Child marriage is normal" Just had ANOTHER christian say that the age Mary had Jesus was normal? We've figured out marry was 14 and Joseph was in is LATE 20's. The convo went something like this (m- me_ c-christian) M: Hey bud, why are you yelling at this person for their beliefs? C: They said Mary didn't consent! They CLEARLY never read the bible! (The poster is Ex-christian..) M: I'm also Ex-christian and the bible said Mary was filled with fear, and the only reason she agreed is because she was scared she would get hurt...? C: oh, so YOU didn't read the bible either and are making stuff up 🙄 M: nnnnoo? That's .. literally what it said, and they figured out Mary was 14... C: Child marriage was normal then, you just have to think back how they did to understand the bible! M: if your god is all knowing and all good.... Wouldn't he know pedophilia is BAD? C: He doesn't have to follow rules, he made us. Submitted March 14, 2024 at 01:57PM by Fragrant_Elephant182 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/KQUMd0T)

[jellybi]

It's hard for me to comment specifically on the Crystal take on Chibi Usa because I honestly just hate her so much as a character concept. The idea of having Usagi's fully formed Future Daughter literally drop out of the sky when she's 14 so she has to learn to parent her is bad, and I don't like what it does to the story and Usagi's arc. Did Usagi need to learn to be less selfish? Probably. Is the right way to do that by forcing her to learn to center the emotional needs of her child who doesn't exist yet over her own? Nnnnoo? She is still a teenager herself! She literally just met her boyfriend and their relationship started 5 minutes ago! Let her breathe and be her own person, geez. And the unrelenting emphasis on Chibi Usa's crush on her own father and Usagi's jealousy of their bond as a source of comedy and drama is EVEN MORE BAD AND I HATE IT AND WISH I COULD SURGICALLY EXTRICATE IT FROM THE SHOW.

[deenoss]

Dreamcatcher Chptr. 8

It was another usual morning at Blackwell, given that the severe lack of student presence didn't irk Clark - while there were times he didn't mind being surrounded by chattering zombies, he did enjoy personal time.

Not even halfway across the yard and Clark was intercepted by a certain brunette. Rachel caught her friend walking towards the front doors to the school, oblivious to her presence until she gave herself away and greeted him with a raspy voice.

"Hey, Price." Rachel said casually. "What a night, huh? I still can't believe that happened."

Clark swung his head around and as soon as his eyes landed on the brunette, his eyes lit up and a smile formed on his face.

"Morning, rock star. Gosh. I wish last night didn't end." Clark responded with a drained voice.

"Right? How's your sister?"

"She's fine. After last night, I've been... pretty worked up about it. But I guess that's just expected when you feel like you gotta look after your loved ones. Especially after dad..."

Rachel could empathise his pain, though on some scale she could sympathise prior to her discovering her father with another woman, thus practically declaring him dead to her.

"I know how you can get your mind off things." Rachel spoke up once an idea formed in her mind. "It's not in Wells' rule book so I'm checking on whether you're up for it or not."

"Depends what we're doing and how illegal it is."

"First, I want to ask you something. Clark, have you ever had marijuana before?"

"Nnnnoo?"

"Oh. Well, that's what we're doing."

Clark looked at her in shock. "WHAT?! Rach, it's bad enough my sister does drugs, but I'm not so sure this is the best remedy you can just conjure up."

Rachel scoffed and rolled her eyes at him as she began to walk off where he subconsciously followed.

Drugs was never something Clark intended to pursue and doing so now certainly made him double-think keeping a perfect record in his Blackwell file. Should he get caught tampering with substances, it could potentially doom his career in becoming an actor. As for Rachel, she wouldn't care too much until she would have to face the consequences of her actions.

"Rachel, where are we going?" Clark asked nervously when they began to walk off campus grounds.

"You'll see." She replied dismissively.

It was only a far bit down the road where the two headed around the back of the football field where they met up with a stranger who appeared to own a caravan.

A man with dirty blonde hair and a few tattoos hidden beneath the collar of his shirt noticed his company and nodded at the brunette but stared quizzically at Clark, who in turn felt uneasy being in his presence. Clark could only assume he was a drug dealer on account of how he appeared to fit the description of drug dealer, or a junkie traveller.

"Didn't expect you to bring company?" The dealer spoke, sounding tough and intimidating.

"Don't worry. He's trustworthy." Rachel said defensively.

It surprised Clark that she vouched for him, but seeing as how she was helping him take his mind off of his troubles, she wasn't just doing it of her own volition.

"Just the usual?" The dealer asked casually, dropping what façade he brought up in order to intimidate his new company as he made his way into his caravan.

"Not this time, Frank. I need some of the... the good stuff."

The dealer peeked out of his caravan, his face produced a sceptical expression when Rachel cleared her throat and pulled a face when Clark wasn't looking.

Then, realisation dawned on her dealer.

"Oh. That stuff. Yeah. I still got some."

He went back to scavenging while Clark and Rachel stayed outside and waited for him to reappear in front of them.

When he did, he approached them, holding a joint.

"Here's that stuff. But first..."

As procedure went, Rachel stuffed a hand in her pocket to withdraw cash that she traded for the joint. She provided her own cigarette to light the joint after putting it comfortably between her pink lips. As she inhaled, Rachel became instantly became a bit light-headed from the strong effects of the joint but knowing she had to show up at school, she didn't want to appear very high so she withdrew from said joint after three seconds before offering it to Clark.

Since it was Clark's first time taking part in shady business, he didn't quite know what to expect, let alone what he allowed himself to get dragged into.

The closest Clark came to drugs was when Clark stumbled upon his sister's edibles in her room until she caught him almost consuming some. He could remember very easily how furious Chloe was when she caught him snooping around her room, being so that this occurred only two months ago. So Clark was left him wary of taking drugs should he get yelled at again.

Recalling the unfortunate event made Clark shiver when he returned his attention to Rachel offering him the joint. Clark proceeded to hesitantly take the joint, carefully pinching it between his thumb and index finger before resting it in his mouth. The brunette raised the lighter up to the end of the joint, lighting it up for him.

By taking a deep, slow inhale, Clark breathed in the narcotics for a second until he started to cough.

"Take it easy, Clark. Don't force it. Just relax." Rachel advised sweetly.

Clark covered his mouth as he coughed madly until he calmed down. The joint was snatched from his fingers and it was returned to Rachel's dealer who tucked it away in his pocket.

"Adios, children," bid the dealer. "Until later, Amber."

Parting ways, Rachel unconsciously took ahold of Clark's hand as if they were familiar and comfortable with it when they started to make their way back to the Academy.

Neither said a word to each other as they walked through the front doors into the hall. There was no sign of Skip the security guard so fortunately they didn't have to undergo a quick inspection on their way in while they made their way to their lockers to collect their belongings and other essentials. Along the way, they were intercepted by Clark's sister who seemed unwonted with wanting to spend time with her brother.

The rebellious sibling threw her arm around the back of her brother's neck and gave him a squeezed hug. Feigning disgust, Clark shoved his sister off of him but maintained a hidden smile that he didn't let her see.

"Where have you guys been," asked Chloe. "Normally you're already in class or just coming from the cafeteria."

Clark shrugged his shoulders and lied to his sister as the effects of the drugs lingered. "Nowhere. We decided to go for a little walk before class."

She gave him that doubtful look, but it wasn't the fact that it was him lying to her that was bothering her. It was the fact that he was doing something unusual for somebody as obedient as he.

Something caught Clark's attention. The detail he noticed made him look closely at the irregularity when he motioned to unlock his locker via the combination. What he found was that his locker had already been opened, given that only he knew the combination.

Rachel noticed the lack of movement from Clark and called him out.

"Hey, you alright?" Rachel asked with a gentle voice.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed Clark and his female companions, preventing them from making any daring escape. The uneasiness concerned the three youngsters when Skip noticed something inside Clark's locker.

"Is this what I think it is?" Skip taunted accusingly.

Looking closely at the bag inside Rachel's locker, Skip deciphered it as cannabis in a bag.

"I knew it... You're in big trouble now, you three. C'mon."

By shoving them roughly forward, Skip forced them to walk towards Principal Wells' office. Their barging into the principal's office caught him off guard. Skip politely announced their company before they entered the room and closed the door behind him.

The principal sat moodily in his favourite leather chair with his hands on his desk. His unsettling stare at his company left them very nervous of the sentence he was going to carry out for them.

Being caught with drugs was a big offence but given the reputation Clark and Rachel held, Mr Wells was willing to hand down a less severe punishment: due to Arcadia Bay being a town isolated in its own laws, the only people who ran the town were the Prescott's, so dobbing anybody into the authorities would not face the ramifications of their actions unlike anywhere else outside of Arcadia.

To Mr Wells' left, Rachel occupied the chair on the other side of his desk while Clark sat on the one on the right and Chloe seated between the two. Standing on the far left side of the room, Skip Matthews had his arms folded across his chest. His expression was hard and cross knowing that even he was disappointed in Rachel and Clark for taking drugs, less so towards Chloe knowing that the two were friendly with one another.

"Mr Matthews. Care to explain to me how you sit in my chair appearing so grievance?" Mr Wells addressed the security guard in a deadpan manner.

Skip cleared his throat and gave his explanation. "W-Well, sir, I was anonymously notified by one of the students that Clark Price here had drugs stowed in his locker. I believe these two were his... accomplices."

Skip took two steps forward and dumped a sample bag of weed on his boss' desk, on top of a manila folder containing documents he was previously working through prior to their entering his office unannounced. Mr Wells stared blankly at the bag of weed then looked up at the students in his company.

"This revelation comes as a real shock: to myself and to Blackwell," said Mr Wells disappointingly as he got up from his chair and looked outside his window. "But what confuses me is the reason as to why Miss Price is here also? Let me be clear that one of you is new to the Blackwell disciplinary process... and the other is all too familiar with it. Blackwell's code of conduct is built upon foundation of mutual respect meant to foster an environment conductive to educate and enrichment. When that respect is violated, actions are taken."

"Geez, does this guy ever shut up? He goes on more than David does. Fuck that. They can both get screwed. I can't believe my own brother got in trouble for something I would do. Badass, bro."

Out of her thoughts, Mr Wells noticed the sister's lack of attention and called her out. "Are you paying attention to me, Chloe?"

Innocently, Chloe stammered, "Um... what?"

"Miss Price, the last time we met, an agreement was brokered. Do you recall what that was?"

"Uhh... don't get into trouble again?"

"Trouble is merely the by-product, Miss Price. What's an issue is the attitude. We agreed that you would rededicate yourself to becoming an exemplary Blackwell citizen. In the event that you were unable or unwilling to do so, we also agreed that it would come pertinent to reassess both of your future statuses at the academy."

The further he droned on, the more anxious Clark became as to the punishment he was to face. He was equally worried for Rachel and his sister, but knowing that somebody had dobbed him in to Skip and the principal put his entire career at Blackwell at risk left him angry and upset.

"Before I inquire about your involvement Miss Price, I want to hear it from Clark as to whether these claims - by the anonymous tip-off - are true or false. Let me be clear that even with your prodigious record, your response will not defer your expulsion, taken that you'd rather not face one year in prison for eight years because of this offence."

Being put on the spot left Clark completely shocked, given the fact that he didn't ever consider spending time in prison for doing something he could've altered the determinant.

"W-W-What...?" Clark uttered tensely.

"Did you, or did you not, purchase this bag of cannabis which was later found in your locker?"

While Rachel sat on the sidelines, listening to Mr Wells slam Clark, she noticed how pale Clark's face went upon hearing that he and his sister were being threatened with being expelled from Blackwell simply for being accused of something he didn't do.

"It's mine!" Rachel proclaimed.

A variety of confusion swarmed everyone in the room at how Rachel took the blame.

"I bought the weed because I needed it when I was starting to go through some very tough moments in my life. The reason why it was in Clark's locker was because I asked him to look after it for me." Rachel explained dramatically.

"Rach?" Clark muttered in disbelief.

The two exchanged glances as Rachel sent a wink his way without dropping her façade.

"Mr Price, is this true?" Mr Wells asked with a blank, monotonous voice.

Clark looked over at the bald man whom he caught staring intensely at him. He then looked over at Rachel who practically begged him to go along with it, against his better nature.

"Yes. It's... it's true." Clark fibbed.

"Well, to say the least, I am most disappointed in you, Miss Amber. This being your first infraction in no way reduces its severity. Still, we will not be suspending you at this time. But you have squandered our trust. You will no longer be my administrative assistant first period. And you will no longer be involved in Blackwell's performance of The Tempest."

The realisation and hurt that appeared on Rachel's face couldn't have been any more painful to watch as by taking the blame, she accepted the consequences and bowed her head.

"But the show's tomorrow!" Chloe protested.

"For someone so aware of our school calendar, Miss Price, I would expect fewer absences on your record." Mr Wells said coldly.

In outrage, Clark raised his voice as he jumped up out of his chair. "No. You can't do this! This show means so much to her!"

"Unless you have something to add, Clark, I suggest you remain quiet and sit down."

"This is bogus, man! It's her first infraction... whatever the hell that means - but I have a good idea of what it means. You gotta let her keep her part in the play. She literally carries the play on her back. The show's nothing without her."

"It does not thrill me to do this, Clark, but with today's predicament, I've no other option to carry out. Miss Amber knows the rules very well, so it only seems fair that she suffer the ramifications of her defiance against school rules."

The longer their arguing went on, the angrier Clark became. He was very tempted and willing to stand up for Rachel but in spite of the tensity in the room, Chloe couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh, much to Mr Wells' disappointment.

Mr Wells raised an eyebrow as he drew his attention over to Chloe.

"Is there something you find amusing in this, Chloe?" Mr Wells asked, sounding cold and emotionless as he always did.

Chloe looked over her shoulder at the faces looking at her particularly her brother who pursed his lips and shook his head at her very slightly.

"Actually, yeah. There is something I find amusing. My brother possessing drugs? HA! That's rich! My brother may be wimp and a doofus, but he is not a druggie. You don't know my brother like I do, but I don't know Rachel Amber, so I can't say who owns that bag of weed." Chloe shared, expressing her disgust vividly with everyone.

"So are you saying someone planted the bag of cannabis inside your brother's locker? Miss Price, everyone has the combination to their own locker. Nobody else must know the combination except them as the codes were distributed prior to their attendance at the academy. Therefore it being impossible for anyone to know unless one wrote it down on a piece of paper and misplaced it." Mr Wells argued calmly.

"Maybe somebody figured out Clark's locker code or jacked it open when nobody was looking. I don't know. But what I do know is that those drugs do not belong to my brother."

"Given that the evidence was discovered by Skip Matthews inside Clark's locker, it seems incriminating enough to point fingers at Clark and say it is his."

"How did Skip even know where to look in the first place? There's no way it could've been by coincidence. Hey Skip, who dobbed in on my brother?"

Before Skip could have a chance to answer, Mr Wells raised his voice at Chloe for meddling in a matter involving the anonymous tip-off. When Mr Wells calmed down, he gave a stern glance at the security guard then looked over at the three sixteen year-olds.

"In light of this alibi... Clark, your prosecution is hereby postponed for a later date. You will be informed when another meeting can be held," announced Mr Wells.

"Wait, what about Rachel?" One twin inquired.

There was no response given except a harsh stare followed by the three teenagers being dismissed from Mr Wells' office. As the three walked our of the room, leaving Skip to now become the principal's source to vent his anger, one thought ran through each of their minds...

Who framed Clark Price?

[imgonnagetkilledbynutstink]

Mel: prove it

Jon: prove what?

Mel: that you're Jonathan Sims

Jon: i dont carry an id with me, that kinda defeats the whole "im the archivist" thing-

Mel: *throws bread at him*

Jon:........ whyd you do that?

Mel: i was trying to see if you have the tingle thing

Jon: i have the tingle thing just not for bread- xan you not throw the bread again? You're a deeply mistrusting person and i respect it *shows the eye*

Mel:.... read my mind

Jon:.... read your mind?

Mel: yeah

Jon: nnnnoo

Mel: yes, read my mind

Jon: why do i need to read your mind?

Mel: cause this is not enough

Jon: this is plenty

[amillionmillionvoices]

this isn't from an ask post or anything, but what are the top three phrases from any form of media that you have integrated into your daily speech? :3

oh my god this is a beautiful question nonny thank you okay so in general, i (and also rachael) constantly quote all of Iliza Schlesinger's Freezing Hot; everything John Mulaney has ever said; all of Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill; and Vines. Just. So many Vines. I'm not sure I can actually narrow it down to the top three but here are some ones that came up today:

1. [a minor inconvenience] [john mulaney salt and pepper diner voice] goDDAMNIT IT!

2. [eddie izzard voice] 'allo, sue. do y'like... bread? i've got a french loaf! whack! byyyyyyyyyee (i love u)

3. [iliza voice] i'll just have a bite

4. i'm sixteen!!! i'm a gRANDMOTHA

5. [john mulaney voice] nnnNOO! that's the thing i'm sensitive about!!

[this-house-is-half-alive]

So Benrey did steal Chris Bores

FORZEN: Little shit-

FORZEN: Nnnnoo.... Chris Bores, heh, what kinda, what kinda kooky name is that? It looks more like a Skippy or something to me.

BENREY: But I heard you call him Chris Bores the other--

FORZEN: You heard nothing.

[twomxndss]

mrules: tag ten followers you want to know better !

tagged: @mcmoria​ tagging: @prodegy-pines​ , @teamspider10​ , @sullenchoir​ , @billcipherrp​ , & YOU!!!

name:  Mii ! star sign:  Taurus height:  5′2  middle name ?: Galang!

put your itunes / spotify on shuffle. what are the first 6 songs that popped up?

With a Smile - Princess Velasco

How to Rest - The Crane Wives 

Bato Sa Buhangin - From the movie “Goyo”

Smile - Noel Milan

First Love Never Dies - White Lies

Mahal Na Mahal Kita - Aegis

grab one book nearest to you and turn to page 23. what’s line 17? My....sketchbook? Are you sure ??  ever had a poem or a song written about you? Yes! It was from an ex! who is your celebrity crush? Jeonghan from SVT, Moonbyul from MAMAMOO, & Thomas Sangster! what’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate: Sand being dragged under a heavy object on marble flooring

love: Tapping noises from my nails on any surface!

do you believe in ghosts ?  So-so ( as much as possible I try to,,,not think ab them ;; ) how about aliens ? Possibly!

do you drive ?   Nope     if so, have you ever crashed ? I USED to drive my friends’ motorcycles back in high school -- as of now, I still need to go through driving school to legally drive. No, I have never crashed!  what was the last book you read ? S Flower! ( eheheehehehe--- ) do you like the smell of gasoline ? NnnnoO what was the last movie you saw ?     Promare! what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had ?  The only time I’ve ever been injured is a left sprain ankle. do you have any obsessions right now ? Hanako-san, Hanako-san! Dickuu, itty bitty fangies kacchan, shoto shoto!!, do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Somewhat,, but they’re cut off from my life at this point ,, 

[kittykat-creations]

Captain Underpants and the Harrowing Hostile Horror of Homophobia

Well, here it is! My first ever Captain Underpants fic! I think I sort of mix the three different versions, but this is supposed to be in the Netflix series universe. They’re in 6th grade. My friend knew she was bi at like 11, so I figure it’s not too far off for George to know.

This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins. George is the one in the beanbag chair with the bi tie and flattop. Harold is the one on the floor with the rainbow t-shirt and bad haircut. Remember that now.

Harold doodled at his spot on the floor, pausing to nibble at the end of his pencil and frown slightly. George was similarly stuck, tapping his pencil against the clipboard and staring at the paper filled with deadend comic ideas.

“Have any ideas yet?” Harold asked. “Maybe it would be easier to design a monster if I knew what it should be.”

“No.” George groaned and leaned his head back, staring up at the ceiling. “None of these work.”

Harold blew a raspberry and rolled onto his back, looking around the tree house. His eyes landed on George’s tie, and then on his own rainbow shirt. He sat up, grinning. “What if we do a coming-out issue for Captain Underpants!”

“A coming-out issue?” George repeated as Harold plopped down beside him in the beanbag chair.

“Yeah! Like, maybe he comes out as pansexual or something. And he gets a cool flag cape!”

“Ooh, I like that.” George nodded and started writing. “But what would the monster be? Some weird old dude trying to stop him?”

“...what about like, some kind of laser zaps the Captain and makes a monster based on what makes him happy? And instead it tries to upset him. And like, he starts to feel guilty and stuff, but then he gets help from all his friends from previous comics! Like a big superhero meetup!”

“So the monster like, represents homophobia?” George asked.

“...yeah.” Harold shrugged and scratched his arm, glancing the other way. “Yeah, kind of. But then at the end they defeat it by like, punching it away.”

“That's good, I like that,” George laughed. He quickly started writing, queuing Harold to settle back into his spot on the floor. He tried to think: what would a monster based on homophobia look like? Really super ugly. He laughed to himself and started to draw.

Captain Underpants and the Harrowing Hostile Horror of Homophobia

So this one time, Captain Underpants was flying around around the city looking for lunch, like hotdogs or something because yum, hotdogs, and he was so hungry. But then he found this parade thing, and everyone was wearing a bunch of colors and they had capes too! And Captain Underpants thought “There's a superhero parade! I'm a superhero I should join!”

And so he flew down to the parade, and he was like “Hey superheros, sorry I'm late, no one told me there was a superhero parade!” But it turns out it WASN'T a superhero parade, it was a gay parade, where like a bunch of people get together and celebrate being gay because, pfft, hello, it's awesome.

So Captain Underpants was like “Oh that sounds like fun! But what's gay?” ‘Cause he like, didn't know. And they were like “It's when you're a boy and you like boys, like like-like.” And Captain Underpants liked that, because he like-liked boys sometimes! But he also like-liked girls, and people who were like not either of those ‘cause he just liked everyone. And someone said “That's pansexual dude!” and Captain Underpants was like “Woah cool!”

And someone gave him like, a pansexual cape and Captain Underpants was like “I'm gonna tell all my friends!” But suddenly when he was flying off, a big laser shocked him like “Bzz bz-shck!” It was these mean alien dudes who wanted to test their new laser on poor Captain Underpants! And when they flew off a big ugly storm starting forming, and it had a really ugly face like this!

And the storm was like “I'm gonna make sure you're never happy, liking boys is gross!”  And Captain Underpants didn't see why because everyone at the parade was so nice, so he started fighting the storm! But it kept repeating all the mean stuff, and Captain Underpants started thinking that it was right!

But then a bunch of superheros appeared to help- it was all Captain Underpants’ friends! “What are you guys doing here!” He asked. “Well we’re here to help you beat up this storm!” And they did! It was like “Wham!” and “Pow!” and the storm was all “Noooooo listen to meeeeee!” But no one was listening ‘cause they were too busy beating him up!

When the storm was all gone, all the superheros high-fived and celebrated. Captain Underpants even told them about the parade and being pansexual! And they all gave him a big hug and joined the parade with him because it was awesome, the end.

“New comic! Brand new Captain Underpants comic, hot off the press!”

Kids flocked around George and Harold as they passed out copies of the new comic before classes started. The two boys even went up to Melvin, who was sitting by himself at his desk like always.

“New issue of Captain Underpants, Melvin. Sure you don’t want one?” George grinned and held out a copy. Melvin raised an eyebrow and took it, skimming the pages.

“...You made a comic about internalized homophobia?”

“Inta-what?” Harold blinked.

“Internalized homophobia.” Melvin rolled his eyes and handed the comic back. “It's when you're mad at yourself for being gay?”

“Oh,” George said. “Nah, they're just fighting a cranky monster.”

Melvin shook his head and went back to his book. “Whatever. I don't want a copy, just like every other dumb comic.”

“Whatever man.” George took Harold's hand and lead him off to continue handing out comics.

“George and Harold to my office. Now!”

The boys sighed and left their classroom, walking down the hall to the office.

“What do you think we did this time?” Harold asked.

“I dunno man. We haven't done any pranks yet today.” George held his chin in thought.

“Maybe he found out about the plan for tomorrow?”

“Eh, it's probably just because we made another Captain Underpants.” George shrugged. “Mr. Krupp hates them.”

They entered the office. Harold bit his lip, almost nervous. What if they were in trouble for the contents of the new issue this time?

“George and Harold.” Mr. Krupp sat at his desk, looking at the two of them over his fingers. “I wanted to talk to you about this comic.” He slid the newest Captain Underpants forward on his desk. Yup, they knew it.

“Ok, we get it, no more comics blah blah blah,” George said. “Is that it, can we go?”

“No, you-!” Mr. Krupp sighed and rubbed his face, his expression softening just a bit. “Boys, is- is anyone giving you any trouble? About this comic?”

“What?” They blurted together.

“I mean is anyone… being mean, because of what it’s about?” Mr. Krupp looked really weird about actually showing concern. George and Harold looked at each other, confused. Was this a trap or something?

“Nnnnoo…? Everyone’s cool,” George answered.

“Yeah, everyone likes it,” Harold agreed. “You’re not… mad?”

“Of course I’m mad! You’re not allowed to make these!” Mr. Krupp snapped, waving the comic. “But-” He pinched his nose. “No, I’m not mad because it’s gay. Are either of you boys- are you dealing with anything like the monster in this?”

“You mean people being mean? Isn’t that what you just asked?” George looked confused.

“No, I mean- what the monster itself is based on. That’s not just- it’s not just based on other people being mean, is it?” It was very clear that Mr. Krupp was uncomfortable with the conversation, which confused the boys even more.

“Oh, you mean that intalized stuff Melvin was talking about?” George asked. “Nah, I don’t think so.” Harold bit his lip, rubbing his arm and looking away at the floor. George leaned forward on his chair and looked over at him. “...Harold?”

“I don’t know, I-I guess what Melvin said kinda… made sense.” Harold shrugged.

“Ah jeez.” Mr. Krupp sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Listen kid, uh- I don’t know why you feel… like this, like if someone was mean to you or you’re just… yeah. But, uh- there’s nothing wrong with it. Ok? People are gay, it happens.”

“Thanks… Mr. Krupp,” Harold responded, blinking in shock. Mr. Krupp was never nice to them.

“Yeah yeah. Just get back to class.” George and Harold hurried out of his office before he could change his mind. “And don’t let me catch you making any more of these comics!” He glared out the door before looking back at the comic and lightly touching a finger to the pansexual cape Captain Underpants was wearing.

He almost smiled.

“That sure was weird, huh?” Harold asked as they walked back to class. “Mr. Krupp is never nice to us!”

“Yeah, weird,” George agreed. “Are you sure you’re ok, buddy?”

“Yeah, I’m- I’m fine.” Harold smiled a bit. “It’s good, man. I guess I’ve just felt kinda weird since we went to the future.”

George smiled back. “It must be weird, huh? I had to figure it out myself, you knew before you even knew! It’s kinda crazy.”

“Our lives are crazy.” Harold laughed.

Meanwhile, all the way up in space…

Three aliens were fighting over a remote in their U.F.O. The language was foreign, but anyone could tell that they sounded like teenagers. One of the aliens held the remote away from the other two, and a laser below the ship moved around wildly with the remote.

Suddenly, the remote was smacked to the ground and the button was pressed. The laser shot down towards Earth, making the aliens pause. One of them quickly jumped into the driver's seat and flew them off.

Back on Earth, George and Harold were walking around the playground at recess. Everyone was sitting around, reading the newest Captain Underpants issue.

“You know, I think this might be one of my favorite issues yet,” George said, and smiled as he held out the original copy of the issue.

“Yeah! I'm gonna be honest, I didn't think everyone would like it this much-”

Suddenly, the laser from the alien spaceship zapped Harold and knocked him backward.

“Oh my gosh!” George panicked and kneeled down next to his best friend, shaking his shoulder. “Harold, are you ok?” The boy groaned, and suddenly a storm began forming from his head. George gasped and watched as the storm grew bigger and bigger, and a big ugly face appeared on it as it towered over the school. The kids all screamed (as you do) and ran around in a panic as the storm monster started attacking the school.

“Uh-oh!” George cried. “Harold, we have to get Captain Underpants-!”

George was cut off when he pulled on Harold’s arm, but the boy didn't move. Instead, he was sitting on the ground and staring up at the monster with a mix of fear and despair on his face.

“Harold?” George waved his hand in front of Harold's face, but no response. “Come on, man! What gives?!”

“Leave me alone,” Harold sobbed- sobbed- Harold never cried- and pushed George's arm away, burying his face in his arms. George’s frown deepened; something was definitely wrong.

George ran off, bursting into the school to find Mr. Krupp. Chunks of the building broke off into the storm (how the school could afford repairs once a week George never knew), and all the kids were screaming and hiding under desks. As George ran, he crashed into exactly what- or rather, who- he was looking for.

“You!” Mr. Krupp yelled. “I know you have something to do with this! What did you-?!”

“No time!” George cried, snapping his fingers. Instantly, the man stripped to his underwear and grabbed a piece of red fabric from the school display, tying it around his neck.

“Tra-la-laaaa!” Captain Underpants announced.

“Captain Underpants, there's a storm attacking the school, you gotta hurry!” George dragged the superhero outside.

“Oh my! That doesn't look very nice!” Captain Underpants said, looking up at the face of the storm. It growled with sharp teeth, breaking away more of the school. A few kids were pulled into it and spun around the outside before being spat back out.

“You gotta stop it!”

“Oh yeah!” Captain Underpants laughed and flew towards the storm. As he tried to fight it, George looked around desperately for Harold. He was exactly where he had left him, only now laying on his side and crying heavily.

“Harold! Harold, buddy!” George ran over, kneeling down next to him. “What's happening to you, Harold?!”

“It's right, George!” Harold sobbed, covering his face with his hands. “It's right, I know it's right!”

“What are you-?” George jumped as Captain Underpants was slammed upside-down against the wall beside them.

“That storm keeps whispering mean things!” Captain Underpants frowned, righting himself and standing up.

“Whispering-?” George turned towards the storm, and, listening closely, he could hear what the superhero was talking about.

“You're just disgusting.”

“You know it's wrong. You know it. Freak.”

“Everyone hates you. They hate it. They hate you, because it's bad.”

“You dragged him down with you. It's your fault. It wouldn't have happened if you weren't-!”

George's eyes widened as he looked back at Harold. Was all that what he had been worried about?

“This storm is such a downer, man!” Captain Underpants flew back up to the storm, trying harder to beat it up. Harold screamed, doubling down around himself and wrapping his arms around his sides. The more Captain Underpants attacked the monster, the greater Harold's pain seemed to get.

And then George got it.

“Captain Underpants!” He yelled, trying to get the hero's attention. “CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS!”

“Huh?” He was knocked back out of the sky, landing a few feet in front of the boys.

“We can't attack it! It's hurting Harold!” George told him, trying to ignore the whispers in his ears. If he listened to them, he was sure he'd start to believe them.

“Hurting Harold?” Captain Underpants frowned. “But then how do we defeat it?”

George started pacing, trying to think. The whispers started to seep further into his mind, almost personalized- “At least they have the decency to pick a side-” George shook his head, growling. It wasn't bad, he told himself determinedly. It was normal! People all over the world were like them! It was fun!

A loud screech came from the storm, as if it were hurt. George gasped. His eyes widened.

“I think I know what to do!” George told Captain Underpants. “But we need help! Stay here!”

George hurried into the school, quickly looking around. Several other students were hiding, and some were throwing things at the storm in a futile attempt to hurt it.

“Erica!” George ran over to the girl, tugging at her arm. “Erica, we need help!”

“What are we supposed to do?” Erica asked.

“I think I figured it out, but the more people, the better,” George told her.

“Is this you imbeciles’ fault?!” Melvin snapped, popping up from under a table. “It always is!”

“We didn't do anything! This time! Look, I just need some help-” George ducked and covered his head as Captain Underpants broke through the ceiling with Harold in his arms.

“I think the storm is hurting Harold!” Captain Underpants frowned, setting him on the floor.

“What's going on with him?” Melvin asked.

“I dunno! Some weird laser thing zapped Harold and then this thing formed and it's saying mean stuff-!”

“It's saying homophobic stuff!” Melvin slapped his forehead. “You dolt, it's internalized homophobia!”

“Um, I don't hear anything!” A student spoke up.

“You can't hear it?” George and Melvin asked, confused. The girl shook her head.

“Ok, well, that's not the point!” George flinched and looked back at Harold. He went and kneeled next to him, lightly holding his shoulder. “Harold? Buddy?”

“I'm sorry, George. It's my fault you're-” Harold gulped and sobbed. “Y-you had a chance to- to be n-normal, bu-but I-”

“Harold, it's not your fault I like boys too,” George assured, helping him to sit up. “Y'know, thinking about it- do you remember that new kid in like, 3 grade that I kept wanting to prank?”

“Him?” Harold laughed a bit, sniffing and rubbing at his cheeks. George blushed and shrugged.

“Maybe! But it's not your fault. You just helped me like, figure out that boys are even an option. It's awesome!” The storm outside screeched loudly and growled.

Harold smiled softly, but then frowned and looked down. “But it's weird, isn't it?”

“Actually, homosexuality has been found and documented in about 500 species,” Melvin spoke up. “Humans are no weirder than the rest of the animal kingdom, save for we're the only ones with homophobia.”

“...can dolphins be gay?” Harold asked quietly.

“Mm-hm.” Melvin nodded. Harold grinned. The monster began to shrink and screamed, pulsing slightly.

“... Doesn't… doesn't everyone hate it? Me?” Harold asked quietly. George set a determined face and sat down next to his friend, hugging him tightly.

“We don't hate you, Harold,” Erica said, stepping forward.

“Yeah, we don't mind it,” another student agreed.

“I don't like you, but just because you're annoying.” Melvin folded his arms and looked away. “Not because you're gay. That's just mean.”

“You're super cool, yo!” Captain Underpants smiled. The other students nodded and spoke in agreement. Once more, the storm cried out and shrank even more.

“It’s shrinking!” Erica pointed out. At this point, the storm was trying desperately to get at Harold again- everyone could hear it shouting now.

“Harold, you can’t listen to it!” George held onto Harold’s shoulders. “You have to ignore it! It’s lying to you!”

Harold squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears. “You’re wrong,” he said to himself- to the storm. “You’re wrong! You’re lying!” The storm kept shrinking and shrinking. “There’s nothing wrong with it! THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY!”

The storm let out one final scream as it shrank and finally disappeared completely. Everyone froze for a moment before George and Harold laughed and tightly hugged each other.

“Woah! That was cool, it’s gone now!” Captain Underpants smiled.

“I can’t believe you were scared about… all that,” George said. Harold shrugged, resting his head on his best friend’s shoulder. He sniffed and rubbed at his face.

“I wasn’t, really. I didn’t believe any of it. But then it just got a lot… stronger.”

“I wonder where the laser came from,” George said. Suddenly, a pipe burst in the half-destroyed school and directly hit Captain Underpants. The boys burst into laughter as Mr. Krupp sputtered and came to.

“What- George, what did you do?! What happened to the school?!” Mr. Krupp yelled. “AND WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!”

[tastes-like-ciel]

“I’m your husband. It’s my job.” #51 +Datastormshipping

this was inspired by an episode of Kaguya-sama: Love is War tbh

had a little too much fun with this one haha

51. “I’m your husband. It’s my job.”  

“I knew this would happen…” Yusaku muses to himself with a slow shake of his head. The digital thermometer in his hands glares up at him in bright, damning red numbers. It’s at roughly 40°C and possibly rising. No wonder Ryoken was stumbling around and acting so strange before. “You have a pretty high fever.”

Earlier, Yusaku caught Ryoken dozing at the kitchen table, breakfast completely abandoned and breathing labored. His skin had felt hot to the touch and when Yusaku was finally able to shake him awake, his excuse for falling asleep had been complete and utter nonsense. He clung to Yusaku’s arm, babbled something about having tea with Ai, and kept forgetting where he was. Fearing the worst, Yusaku dragged him back to bed, fished out a thermometer from the medicine cabinet, and now here they are, Ryoken in a fever-induced daze and Yusaku sitting by his side quietly chastising him for overworking himself.

“Congrats on being sick.” Yusaku continues and looks down at Ryoken’s pitiful state. “I’ll have to tell the tournament officials you’re too sick to participate now. Good job.”

Ryoken’s cheeks are flushed a deep red and his pretty eyes are glazed over, completely unfocused even as he’s staring up at Yusaku from his cocoon of blankets. He claims to be cold, but his skin is on fire and no matter how many times Yusaku tries to remove them, Ryoken refuses to give up a single blanket layer.

“Nnnnoo, ‘m fine.” Ryoken stubbornly insists, sounding anything but. His words slur together and his vocal tone is a weak mess. It alternates in pitch, but tends to stick towards the higher end. It’s kind of amusing considering how deep his voice is otherwise. “Jus’ cold.”

Yusaku flips the thermometer around and points at the digital screen. “You’re literally hot enough to qualify as a heater.”

Ryoken just groans up at him and swats the device out of Yusaku’s hands. It falls between them, face up, as if to remind them both of how not okay Ryoken is at the moment.

“Nnnnoooo… ’m fiiiine.” Ryoken whines, as if that’s good enough to convince Yusaku. “I can sshh…sh..still? …nn…”

Yusaku quietly picks the thermometer back up and raises his eyebrows at him.

“Duel in the charity tournament?” he offers and then shakes his head. “Not in this state. You can’t even stand up straight.”

Ryoken just stares up at him in a daze as he tries to process this, mind moving much more slowly than usual. Then eventually, despite the fever clouding his mind and painting his cheeks red, his face lights up and he pushes himself up into a sitting position all of a sudden.

“I have a duel! We do! Tag duel!” he says somewhat excitedly and then whatever energy reserve he pulled that burst of coherency out of completely drains out of him in an instant. He wobbles and falls back against his pillows like a lazy, sluggish cat. “Yusa..ahh…Yusaku, there’sss people there? I don’ want oth…other people.”

Yusaku tries very hard to force down the smile his lips are threatening to slip into, but it’s hard. Seeing Ryoken like this is really, really hard.

“Mmhm.” he hums in reply.

Ryoken’s eyes close and he curls onto his side, burying himself into his pillows like they’re plush toys. Which is a good sign, all things considered. Maybe he’ll actually go to sleep and rest like he should instead of wandering around in a feverish daze. Even while sick, he pushes himself too hard…

“Is it lots of p…people?”

The corners of Yusaku’s lips are twitching. He doesn’t think he’s ever had to fight this hard to maintain a neutral expression before in his life, but Ryoken is making his life incredibly difficult at the moment.

“Mmhm.” he hums yet again, not quite trusting his words just yet.

Ryoken’s eyes open again and Yusaku isn’t sure what he’s staring at now, but he’s rather focused on it. The stare is sort of off to the side, near Yusaku’s right hip.

“Lotsss of people…” he mumbles and squishes himself further into his pillows. “I don’ want…shhpe…spectators?”

“Mmhm.”

“Lots of people… ’sssaku, does that mean we’re getting married?”

The question comes out of nowhere. Yusaku can’t help the snort that slips out and he covers his mouth with his hand to hide the sudden smile that breaks his perfectly neutral expression. Damn…and he tried so hard to stop it too…

Ryoken pushes himself up onto an elbow and something that very closely resembles a pout makes its way across his lips.

“Mean… I want to marry Yusaku…”

Ryoken’s tone is watery, like he might cry. He sounds legitimately disappointed and Yusaku let’s the hand at his mouth fall, a tiny laugh slipping out when he does. Ryoken’s so delirious that he has no idea what he’s even saying and it’s kind of amusing.

“We’re already married. Look.” Yusaku holds up a hand and shows off a glinting, golden ring decorating his ring finger. He never really takes it off. “You have one, too.”

Ryoken looks a bit awed by that and he sits up again to inspect his own hand. Sure enough, there’s a matching golden ring around his finger and he stares at it in fascination. Yusaku just watches him, amused.

He’s heard rumors about this before, but Yusaku never imagined things would turn out quite like this. Ryoken is just as clingy as Spectre claimed he would be and if he’s being honest, it’s kind of really adorable.

Ryoken-sama is an absolute baby when he’s sick, he remembers a delighted Spectre telling him once as he recounted tales of what it was like to live with the snowy-haired beauty. Once, he tore up his room searching for fireworks and I had to distract him with fake ones. He remembered nothing about it the next morning.

Luckily, Ryoken hasn’t started asking for fireworks. Yusaku doesn’t know what he’d do if he did because they certainly don’t have any.

“Married…” Ryoken mumbles.

For a moment, he almost looks more coherent, but Yusaku knows better. Ryoken needs medicine in his system and then the tournament committee really needs to know he won’t be showing up in VR anytime soon. This very well might disqualify him from the tournament, but there’s nothing for it. Ryoken can barely speak sensibly. Yusaku can’t see his dueling being any better.

Yusaku moves to stand, thermometer still in hand. “I’m going to grab some medicine. Stay right here and don’t mo–hey!”

Yusaku barely has a chance to make it to his feet when he’s yanked back into a clingy, possessive hold.

“N..no!” Ryoken’s arms wrap around Yusaku’s waist and he buries his face into the crook of Yusaku’s neck. “We’re supposed to…to do the honey thing! Is important…”

Honey thing?

Ryoken’s hold is weak enough that Yusaku could break out of it, if he wanted, but instead he stills and rubs a hand atop Ryoken’s head in a little pet to reassure him. He really needs to get Ryoken that medicine before his fever has a chance to get worse.

“I’m your husband. It’s my job to take care of you when you’re sick.” he tries to tell him. “I’m coming right back so calm down.”

Ryoken shakes his head and Yusaku squirms a little because his hair tickles. “Nooo… We have to do…nnn do the honey thing…”

Yusaku frowns. “Ryoken, you’re not making any sens–”

“Honey thing.”

Ryoken flops back onto the bed and drags Yusaku down with him. His hold tightens when Yusaku tries to struggle.

“Let me go.”

“N-no, I don’ want a divorce!”

Yusaku’s expression turns confused and he stares up at his stupid, delirious husband, voice coming out a bit exasperated.

“We’re not–Ryoken, I’m just getting you medicine to bring down your fever. That’s all. We’ll still be married.”

Ryoken blinks a couple of times and lets his grip loosen. “Really?

“Really.” Yusaku assures and feels like he may regret his next statement but continues on with it anyway. “We can even do the honey thing just like want, but medicine first.”

It takes a moment, but Ryoken’s eyes slowly start to droop as his body relaxes. “Mm…’saku come back?”

“Yes. I’ll come back.”

This seems to satisfy him and he nods and snuggles into his pillows once again.

“‘kay.”

Yusaku sighs, relieved. For a moment, he was worried he’d be stuck until Ryoken’s fever finally pulled him into unconsciousness, but he managed to soothe Ryoken’s silly fever-induced fears rather quickly.

‘He’s going to feel so embarrassed about all this later.’ Yusaku thinks as he begins to pull himself out of Ryoken’s arms. ‘Not that he’ll remember anything.’

Before he can manage to make it back to the edge of the bed, Ryoken’s instantly alert once more and Yusaku is pulled back into a hot body. The heat pouring off Ryoken is enough to make Yusaku sweat and he’s glad his day’s attire is light.

Yusaku pushes at his chest, eyebrows knit. “Let me up so I can get the medicine.”

Ryoken pouts and his glazed eyes narrow in defiance. “No.”

Yusaku’s lips thin. He wishes Spectre told him more about how to handle Ryoken when he was sick like this. He can really use some advice.

“Le’s sleep together.” Ryoken continues and snuggles into him. “Yusaku is warm and soft like…nn like a kitten. I like kittens.”

Despite his slight annoyance, another small laugh finds its way past Yusaku’s lips.

For fuck’s sake…

“Ryoken.”

[kartrxcers]

❝ Say my life was theoretically in danger righ'– would youse save me? ❞ ( For Penta )

“ nnnnoo.. of cwourse mistew wat!! i cwan’t mwake pwomises thoughsies! you nevwah know what mwight happen aftew all, I mwight not even be able to savies you... “ they’re trying their best not to burst into laughter, they certainly weren’t plotting your fall before you asked that Pinstripe, not at all.

[bravenurse]

[Blogging] ((kinda bad))

Nnnnoo...my stomach feels like its twisting in knots and full of rocks...I thought I was okay but I guess my brain has other plans 😔....I havent really been able to eat these past few days either, it blows....my arms dont feel hot either what the hell

I'm living off ice water for right now guh

[ask-some-unfortunate-souls]

Celosia@Raven: "Did I ask you about your eyes before? Or like, what you can see with them? Maybe that was Doc. Not sure...? But either way, you mentioned this yOuuuu-Eye think? What is that? What's a You-Eye?"

“Nnnnoo, I don’t think you did ask me about my eyesight. Nor did this Doc guy you mention, unless he was some sort of plague doctor then maybe. I have been reading into some weird things lately regarding a certain ‘plague doctor’. But I digress, the U.I. I mentioned is short for User Interface, and what I can do with it is a number of things with a wave of my paw, change light spectrums,” Raven chirps as she demonstrates, sort of, “oh wow you look different in Ultraviolet, anyway I can tap into computers, communicate over long distances, etc, etc. and-” 

She gets cut off as a joltik walks across her face.

“Excuse me Jeremy but I’m trying to have a conversation here.” Raven huffed, Jeremy looks at Raven before chirping and walking off, “Joltiks gotta love them.”

[ @deathbycelosia ]

[magicalzombiegirl]

tg: touk//en had sex, got married and are expecting a baby me: ummmmmm