#what about youuuuuu

[koushuwu]

TOGAME JO ↳ for @feitanporter happy birthday my love <3

[eerna]

reading The Darkest Part of the Forest

[bmpmp3]

sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs

[qroier]

I can't stop thinking about what'll happen after. there has to be an after because roier cubito has to return and I refuse to accept a world where he doesn't. so how will it go? he's gonna come back to a new life that isn't his own even though it should be, even though it originally was. he's gonna come back and he's gonna meet with cellbit cubito and he's only gonna know how their relationship always was before purgatory, but cellbit will know their relationship how it was now when it was slowly dripping down a drain. they'll be used to two different things. cellbit will be used to having the hurt of distance made up by the comfort of believing that his husband is fine and safe and happy. roier will be used to "as long as we're together we'll overcome" and to "if you were ever replaced by an imposter, I would know." because of lag, sure, but cellbit said he would know.

pepito is gonna be used to a dad that was there and who blessed pepito goodbye and who bought plushies and who went on adventures and who definitely wasn't perfect but who was also not totally consumed by grief, a dad who smiles. I don't even know what pepito roier will be used to. they knew each other for literally a week.

I think richas might understand it a bit. bad stuff happens and then everything sucks for a while but you put on a smile and you pretend until the smile no longer feels like a lie, even to yourself. maybe he thinks this is what roier is doing. maybe as far as he knows, there's nothing to get used to.

same for leo and everyone else. this is just normal. roier cubito gets bad, and then he gets worse, and he doesn't talk about it, but eventually he starts at least looking better again. everyone's weird right now and all over the place and busy trying to figure out what to do with the new start. maybe he might mention something to leo, but cellbit's back. maybe he's talking with him. the weird will go away eventually.

doied is good at this. he's been watching roier since probably before the start. the weird is barely noticeable even when you know to go looking for it, and no one knows to go looking for it. those who do can't because the knowledge would be shattering.

roier's gonna know, though, when he gets back. he's gonna know there was something to go looking for because he was stuck waiting as the something to be found. even if he knows how good at it doied is, it's probably hard to not at least wonder why no one else thought to look into the weird. why no one followed its trail of crumbs and found their way back to him

[yoinkschief]

HEHEHEHEH DAMES <3 <3 <3 <3

I love my partner so much we're gettin freakay on da fridae nite

Me and my partner if we were cool and in Friday Night Funkin (WEEKEND 1 THREW ME BACK INTO MY FIXATION I'M COOKED)

[sluckythewizard]

BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger. this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think. image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary

"Oh shit… I think hes dead…" It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.

Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.

One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.

Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.

The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.

Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?

A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.

But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.

As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.

The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.

Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.

"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.

"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.

But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence. "Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.

"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold." Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.

"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."

Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.

"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?

Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...

"Hey, are you okay?"

The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.

"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.

But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?

The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt. "Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.

The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.

"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"

"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.

The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.

It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.

Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.

Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right? "U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"

Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.

"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"

"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.

"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.

"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."

"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.

While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.

"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.

The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.

The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.

A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat. It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.

That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.

The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.

Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.

It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.

It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.

Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?

The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.

"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.

Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.

Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog.. Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life. It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up. Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.

He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog? As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.

Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda. After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.

A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath. "O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in. Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.

It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight. But he wasn't scared. The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.

Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.

Like a mouse to a snake.

This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.

The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?

Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden. Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.

His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.

A STARTLING RINGING;

Splits the moment,

Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,

As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.

Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.

"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"

Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.

Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.

"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"

Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.

"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.

Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .

As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.

The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.

"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.

"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."

The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.

"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."

"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again. He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does. "Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly- -He's gone! If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body. Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of. Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few, soothing moments of just, decompression. The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed. Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out. The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon. There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable. Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away... He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him. With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.

He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.

[natjennie]

remember when bill looked right at gabriel montoya and said "all the men- and women- merely players".............. bro..................

[xxc0mp4ctd1scxx]

I wish that who uses only "she/her" or "he/him" referring to Mizu kinda get the drip that Mizu isn't neither a man nor a woman.

That whoever is using only one of these pronouns is actually seeing that Mizu is kinda beyond gender shit, and any other category.

So when using those are all in a genderqueer/genderfuck way. When calling them girlfriend or man or bf is in an ironic way.

I really wish I'm not seeing people thinking Mizu is a woman just bc they are AFAB or bc "this trope is ant-women" terf's shit. Cuz I guarantee that Mulan (1998) and Blue Eye Samurai (2023) aren't being feminist in a simple "We Can Do It, too" way, but rather "See, gender roles are stupid and fuck you if you think that genderqueer people don't exist and people are only MAN or WOMAN."

Man, I really hate when people look at a genderqueer story and think only in binary. Adult Mizu could have been a woman if they really were one, cuz the point of they being perseved as a boy was only to be more difficult to find them as a kid, when their mom couldn't protect them with her hands or power, cuz she had none.

I think that when they were in the wife role, they weren't really performing it as a woman, but more like a duty commonly attributed to wife (more like my father being the cook in the house and a really good caretaker who is really considering and cute, and also being the dad figure, when my mom is in the finances business of the house and isn't the best caretaker of all times...) and for they mom respect and consideration, cuz they loved her and wanted to show their love, retributing by marry that guy.

But they were rejected by their mom and their husband, when being their own singular self. When showing they weren't the wife, neither the woman people thought they should be.

Yes, they suit a masc appearance and mannerisms, but it seem dehonest to call them a man. They really don't perform a man image.

Just like non binary transmasc or butches... We aren't really men just bc we are mascs. And we aren't really, by the book, women, solely by the fact we are AFAB.

Why? Cuz it is just like that. Gender isn't the binary we were thought and I wish everyone a really good search and thinking on genderqueer thesis and documents, already documented discussions and a read on "Butch Blues", a watch on "Tomboy", etc.

[runawaymun]

Give us Dehya x Baizhu wip content *makes grabby hands*

WIP game

HEHE

okay okay here's a section: small violence warning. More realistic than what we get in the game, for obvious reasons.

-

Pain burst through Dehya's arm, and the limb went dead. Damn. That wasn't good. Ugh. Fine. She bared her teeth at the treasure hoarder.

"Did your mommy teach you that?"

He snarled at her and lunged back in with the knife.

One, she could deal with. Two, three, no problem, but it was getting downright crowded in this cave. Boss and his kid had better start running so fucking fast right now.

Her good hand sparked. She slammed her claymore point-first into the ground with a whoosh of pyro, and let her fist blaze into flame.

"You're dead meat!"

She went in swinging. The first guy got a faceful of red-hot metal. The second caught the claws of her gauntlet, tearing straight down to his skull. She dodged a strike from the third and slammed her shoulder into him, but before she could throw another punch, she heard something whiz through the air, and her whole body seized with a surge of electro.

Well now they're not playing fair.

Not that treasure hoarders ever played fair.

The third guy regained his balance, hefted his hammer, and reeled back. Great. If she could just get her limbs to work. Goddamn fucking potion slingers--

Inexplicably, the hammer swung in and bounced straight off of a rippling field, inches away from Dehya's head. Then, a tendril of livid green mist shot out from the shadows behind her, cruised from one body to the next, slithering in through their noses, out through their mouths, felling them one, by one, by one, until it was just down to the idiot with the hammer: standing in shock, wondering what the hell was going on.

That was when boss, of all people, appeared out of nowhere and delivered three swift strikes with the points of his fingers: behind the bandit's ear, then to his shoulder, then with so much force to the guy's chest that he shot back into the cave wall before going completely slack and crumpling to the ground.

The mist curled back toward Dehya, but before she could worry, it soothed over the gash in Dehya's arm, and the pain disappeared. Experimentally, she shook it out. Huh.

Boss turned around and offered her a hand, tsking. "They never seem to learn."

Dehya took his hand, but didn't pull too hard. He was putting up a good front but he looked like he was about to tip over any second.

"I thought you were a doctor."

"I am," he said at the exact same time that Changsheng insisted: "He is!"

"Since when do doctors uh-- poke people to death?" Dehya demanded to know, standing and dusting herself off.

Boss almost looked offended. Behind his glasses, his pupils thinned. "He's not dead. Just...unconscious. A brief disruption to his vital qi. Call it the...classics of acupuncture."

"Sure," Dehya said. "Where's Qiqi?"

"I'm here~" came the deadpan call.

"I told you guys to run!"

From Boss' shoulders, Changsheng scoffed. "As if."

[rabble-dabble]

and by the way i fucking deserved better. you came back with your hand held out and asked me to love you again like i was a fool, like you knew i wanted you to do but you forgot friendship is a two way street and i loved you deeper than you loved yourself. i heard myself in your words and i knew the answer before you asked the question because i spent a year grieving and a year growing and another two years healing and three more years forgetting and you sent me a message asking me to forgive you as if i already hadn't done so. you asked to try again and i almost became the fool that did it because once upon a time we were best friends then we weren't and i cried at night wishing you'd come crawling back to say those words to me again. and i thought of all the ways i could tear you apart with my teeth before carefully mending you back together with my sparkly glue and my shaky sowing needle.

but in reality i knew if i let you in again that i could forgive you but i'd never be able to forgive myself. i'd be looking into the past and spitting into the face of the kid who gave up everything he felt about you to become me and i needed to let you go like the sand between my cupped hands. the ocean cleans away the grit and leaves seashells in them. its a reminder that there are still things to find and cherish. i deserve to love the world and you will not be a part of it. i am not sorry for that.

[blessyouhawkeye]

i've loved everything about you that hurts so let me see your moves let me see your moves lips pressed close to mine true blue but the prince of any failing empire knows that everybody wants everybody wants to drive on through the night if it's the drive back home things aren't the same anymore some nights it gets so bad i almost pick up the phone trade baby blues for wide eyed browns i sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes i know it's strange it's a strange way of saying i know i'm supposed to love you i'm supposed to love you i've already given up on myself twice third time is the charm third time is the charm threw caution to the wind but i've got a lousy arm and i've traced your shadows on the wall now i kiss them whenever i'm down whenever i'm down figured on not figuring myself out things aren't the same anymore some nights it gets so bad i almost pick up the phone trade baby blues for wide eyed browns i sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes i know it's strange it's a strange way of saying i know i'm supposed to love you i'm supposed to love you i was born under a bad sign but you saved my life that night on the roof of your hotel cross my heart and hope to die splinter from the headboard in my eye photo proofed kisses i remember so well trade baby blues for wide eyed browns i sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes i know it's strange it's a strange way of saying i know i'm supposed to love you i'm supposed to love you i'm supposed to love you

[moonshynecybin]

benjamin tallmadge is such a genuinely neurotic control freak it’s awesome

[princekirijo]

Well that happened. That was a DLC.

[skrunksthatwunk]

kiryu you were not about to write that on your bucket list you lying faker you gay ass homosexual man

[kyouka-supremacy]

TGP BSD AU DETAILS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED TO BE FED. WAIT. DOES THAT MAKE ATSUSHI CHIDI??????? IM GOING FERAL PLEASE WHAT HAVE YLU DONE

Omg here we go

Akutagawa as Eleanor. Obvs. That Beast flavor of protagonist vibes. Unapologetical Yokohama scumbag. Used to work for the Yakuza before he died.

Atsushi as Chidi. Used to be a literature university professor. He's perfect fit to fill Chidi's anxious shoes.

This time most of the comic relief is born from having a literal mobster, for whom homicide has always been the first solution to problems, being dropped in paradise, where everyone is already dead so he can't kill. Ft. the very very stressed Atsushi, nothing more than an academic nerd who's trying /so hard/ to stop him from breaking havoc.

“Do all soulmates come with complimentary haircuts or?”

A looooot of initial conflict and Akutagawa and Atsushi fighting, even more than cheleanor, you can guess it. Yet Atsushi does never step back from offering his help to Akutagawa.

Akutagawa who struggles to even ASK for help. Atsushi is 100% done and spends half the time saying “why am I even doing this” and yet he does keep doing this.

Atsushi teaching Akutagawa to be a better person through literature more than philosophy. Them reading books together and learning that there's beauty in the concept of all humans being inherently connected through time and space by feeling the same things (cue to “we're all in this together”).

*Minor inconvenience occurs* “I say we kill them” “No, I– what?? We– you do realize we're in the afterlife, right? You do realize you can't kill people here, right?”

Please imagine Atsushi as a classical literature professor with glasses and turtlenecks and a stack of books always in his hands it's very important to me

“You know what, for someone who barely knew how to read when we first met, you speak with a surprisingly elaborate vocabulary”

Where Eleanor's struggle is constantly being triggered by people being better than her, for Akutagawa it comes more in the form of being constantly reminded that he was never good enough

When it comes to Atsushi... It's a mess. For the most part of the story, you'd see him and think he's nothing but a professor. Yet gradually, slowly, start to appear hints that something is off with him. In reality, he's absolutely tormented, he's just used to not make it transpire. Differently from Chidi, he does, very early on, start questioning if he belongs there in the Good Place– but tries again and again to convince himself that he does belong there, that he's good. That's all he's ever tried to be, that's all he's ever done, why wouldn't he? And yet it constantly feels like he's just lying to himself, but he does want to lie, he wants to believe he's good. He's tried so hard all his life to be good– and now his struggles are paying off! They are, right? So it doesn't matter if he killed that man when he was a child. He's a good person. He's spent his whole life trying to make amends for it. He's good he's good he's good (grows increasingly insane)

Aka, Atsushi killed Shibusawa when he was little. The orphanage director covered it up and nobody came to know, but the truth haunted Atsushi his whole life, and now keeps haunting him in the afterlife too, because deep down he knows he doesn't belong. Aka Atsushi going through the horrors™ once again.

So Atsushi's helping Akutagawa isn't, at least initially, moved by altruism like Chidi's (Atsushi is a pretty selfish character...), but by his desperate need to prove he's good + a sort of auto-inflicted punishment. He's fucked up...

On the hand of Akutagawa's backstory– you know when Eleanor's background is revealed, and you're like “that doesn't justify her being a shitty person, but at least I understand now?”; for Akutagawa it would be revealing he joined the Yakuza in the first place to provide for his little sister. I can see him revealing it to Atsushi after having spent a long long time together and having eventually warmed up to each other (and having fallen in love), on a particularly vulnerable night: Akutagawa tells him that although there's nothing from his life of hell on earth he could ever miss, he worries about how his little sister is doing without him; to Atsushi's genuine astonishment, because in months of knowing each other Akutagawa had never brought up having a sister.

Akutagawa's character core is once again finding the reason to his existence– or better, finding the answer. (That's taking from Chidi's character this time)

“You know the reason yourself, don't you” would be Akutagawa's “There is no answer // but Atsushi is the answer”. This au basically writes itself

Dazai as Michael... You know why

Further sskk tgp au ramblings (1) (2)

[jonismitchell]

I listen to About You and I understand why she went a little insane when she was in a dead relationship and he kept making it seem like the song was about her. Like that song makes me ascend

about you is honestly one of the greatest love songs of all time. what i wouldn't give for someone to think about me that way