#what can I say I'm a SUCKER for irony

[not-goldy]

That's the narrative you'll been pushing, that tkkrs are Tae "leaning" and Jikookers are what? JM "leaning"?

No wonder in this whole shippers drama only JM and Tae get dragged and JK is always safe.

If you don't know several Jikookers and Taekookers have turned into Jk solos during chapter 2, then you must be living in your own shipper bubble or you're purposely pretending it didn't happen.

Not you running around yelling every one is turning into a Jungkook solo this is not the matrix😹😹😹😹

If you go into Jikook and Tae Kook shipper spaces to disrespect Jungkook and they massacre you it don't mean they are all JK solos.

I think it's about damn time both shippers stood behind Jungkook to defend him against your kind.

For the longest time yall were used to jikookers pandering to yall "throwing Jungkook under the bus" just for your likes and follows but honey not all of us care about likes and followers and what not so we will say things as is😹

Hmmmm

So then I suppose in my little bubble it feels rare cos I rarely encounter such persons myself.

I had a best friend who was a JK leaning Jkkers and she was constantly calling out JK while victimizing Jimin and glossing over his "sins" as it were, she had me feeling i constantly had to defend Jungkook as if I was the JK stan not her.

On the Tuktukker side all I know is most of them hate Jungkook because he doesn't follow their scripts and right now he's on the Tuktukkers wanted list for being in MS with Jimin and not Tae.

And frankly they hate Tae too so I don't know what their ship is about anymore 💀

So I guess I'm still a little bit confused 😩

Then again I'm not.

I started out as a JM biased stan but the more toxic stans have me defending Jungkook the more emotionally drawn I am to him. I don't think he deserves any of the heat he gets out here.

So I guess it's cause and effect. Yall are turning us into hardcore JK stans😹😹😹😹😹😹

The irony 🤣

But I don't think I'll ever be his pure solo like exclsusively either. I like Jin I like Namjoon I like Suga too sooooooooo cheating it is😩

Why have a man when you can have 7😌

But I do see myself supporting Jungkook for the long haul whether he is part of BTS or not. I may not be as enmeshed or overly obsessed with him and his life as I may be JM but I do think he has a promising future ahead and i genuinely wish him well.

Besides Jungkook IS THE MAKNAE. he is and will always be the Golden Maknae. I don't think you understand what that means or comprehend just how much clout and likeability that naturally comes with.

Jungkook has always been liked by the Fandom. Next to Tae, as you saw before he deleted his account he was the 2nd most followed BTS member and I have a feeling he would have surpassed V following his release of Golden had he not deleted the account.

So honestly I think you exaggerate and perhaps are just being dramatic and overly paranoid about the Fandom turning into Jungkook solos when we've always been a sucker for the Maknae.

It's a kpop thing. I think you're just now experiencing what being a Maknae means for an idol.

And another thing about Jungkook is, majority of his fans are not shippers at all. Most of them are "OT7"s at best or Y/ns and solos at worst and those that ship him ship tend to ship him more often with Tae than Jimin.

Actually I think majority of his shipper fans are split between shipping him with Tae, Jin and Namjoon rather than Jimin.

Most of his fans are straight and often times homophobic and those that a queer tend to gravitate towards other men who look like him when it comes to shipping him aka Tae Jin Namjoon rather than Jimin because of the stigma against fem gay men in the gay community.

So to me the unsettling question is when you say half the shipper community are now JK solos, does it mean most of them are now straight and homophobic - solo in what sense 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

[myaoiboy]

Hi I saw that you answered an ask* the other day and I wanted to know if you continued with your analysis or if you could continue. I was really interested and curious to know more about it. I really wanted to know what you had to say, seriously, I could read a bible of Death Stranding reviews!

*https://www.tumblr.com/myaoiboy/739740134244794368/death-stranding-gender-talk-you-say-count-me-in?source=share

Hi! I totally can keep talking about Death Stranding forever (I know it's a very divisive game but imo on the whole the writing is like a well-oiled machine in ways that MGS just barely started to scrape askdjfh)

For the most part I haven't talked a *ton* about it at length because the series is just getting started and I feel weird making assertions that are likely to be fully subverted within a year or two. MGS has like. well, now, 25 years of shit going on. Sequels, prequels, fanon, etc., that Death Stranding...hasn't really had time to grow into yet.

I also tend to intentionally only post for dead series because the fandoms tend to be chiller lmao

Plus the fact that I got into DS right around the time that DS2 was announced, so I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs knowing that there's about to be more content and context that I just don't have access to yet. I already feel like there's a lot more to be learned about the first game, just from the latest trailer drop.

Honestly I think the thing that really gets me with DS is that despite the borderline insanity of the setting, to me, there's a lot of dramatic irony and meta knowledge that makes DS pretty easy to follow compared to, like, any single MGS game. Maybe I'm just the exact target audience that the writing was intended for, but most of the big reveals felt less like a sucker punch and more of a dramatic swell.

Some reasons for this (please be gentle i am taking cutscene SCs from youtube videos, they're gonna look like shit):

First of all, this is basically frame 1 of being formally introduced to Amelie, we see...this lens flare. Look familiar?

...how about now?

We are introduced to her instantly with a sign of danger. A pretty one, but a sign of danger nonetheless. The fact that it's an inverted rainbow is important! It shows up around timefall because of chiral air disturbance. We don't know that yet in-game, but if you know about how light works you know that there's something Wrong(tm) about this.

A regular lens flare shouldn't be causing an inverted rainbow if it's causing one at all. I think in this cutscene Amelie's presence is causing that inverted rainbow. Throughout the game, people come up with various theories of their own to excuse her connection to the beach. Little do they know at the time how right they are...

She's also heavily backlit, which hides her features in an unsettling manner. In fact, I really can't think of anyone else that this happens to throughout the game (if anyone knows of another example PLEASE let me know!!!)

She gets pretty damn close before that rainbow disappears, but this is where I very quickly lost my initial trust in her (as the player).

I jokingly called called this her "Fox News reporter look," but it's very much constructed in a way that made me suspicious.

Let's talk about that red dress.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: Kojima fucking LOVES using color language, especially red, blue, and gold. It's been super obvious and explicit since like 2012.

The fact that we meet her wearing a red dress is not a coincidence!!! It's a great big flashing warning sign! It says "hey, this person is going to betray you! Do Not Fucking Trust!!!"

Compare Amelie's name card to Paz's from Peace Walker:

The art styles are different, but there are a couple of main throughlines. Namely, both have an emphasis on the color red, both are young (looking) women who are lying about their identities in order to ask the main character a favor. Characters vouch for them, from trusted advisors, to the main character himself in DS. And then they try to bring about armageddon.

Basically what I'm saying is that they're both the embodiment of white woman tears a wolf in sheep's clothing, if the sheep's clothing was still dripping in blood. We (characters, and maybe the players) believe that she's on our side because we want to believe she's on our side, and because other people that we ostensibly trust tell us she's on our side, while the extremely dissonant narrative and imagery of the scene are SHAKING US BY THE SHOULDERS TELLING US TO SNAP OUT OF IT.

Add to that the fact that we kind of vaguely, through that intro cutscene post-central knot explosion, know that the beach is connected to dying somehow, and that amelie seems to be on it, doing very stereotypical little girl in horror things there, like singing nursery rhymes slowly while walking into the ocean.

So we've basically been told that Amelie is Not Good, but we have to spend the game piecing together what kind of Not Good she is. The first hint is (surprise!) also in this cutscene!

I don't recall off the top of my head if I knew at the time how heavily egyptian mythology plays into DS, but I do remember this cutscene giving me a bad gut feeling about the concept of the West.

Very few Big Concepts in these games (the West, strand(s/ing), patriotism/nationalism, etc) are only symbolic of one thing. That's also true across the board in basically all art, but I feel the need to point that out in public posts because I don't want someone to eg, think that I say something means one thing, and then back that up, and then people think that means it can't mean something else! It can (and often does) mean both! and sometimes that additional meaning is super important!

Anyways, Die Hardman refers to Amelie going West. We don't really use that phrasing much, so it stuck out to me as euphemistic. Especially since we saw her after we died, and there's so much euphemism going on from the bridges team anyways. I mean, cufflinks "symbolize our connection?" Girl, you locked me to my bed with them. You drain my blood with them to turn into weapons. Call 'em what they are.

You'll even notice in the same cutscene that Amelie says "we made it to Edge Knot City" and Sam replies with "all the way to the Pacific?" Not "all the way to the west coast," or even a single question about why she was on the/his beach.

If you know anything about egyptian mythology, you might know that west is considered the direction of death and the underworld. ancient egyptians buried dead people on the west side of the nile river. Osiris, god of death and mummification, and king of the underworld, is referred to as "foremost of the westerners" among his epithets.

So the vibe that I got instantly was "Amelie is already dead, she led her team to die, and they are basically sending Sam on a suicide mission" though I didn't realize exactly how I was right at the time.

The other big thing I recall setting off my alarm bells as the game went on was the fact that nobody you meet has ever met Amelie in person. It's a very slow reveal, especially since most people seem to see online meeting and in person meeting to be mostly the same, and we're told that she set out with bridges one. That she went west. Turns out that...also wasn't literal.

I don't remember exactly when I started wondering if *sam* had ever even met her outside of the beach, but I do remember thinking that there was something off. For a little bit my guess was that she was entirely fictional, some sort of AI (pretty influenced by all the "dead person brought back by AI/hypno bullshit ngl), or maybe that Higgs could somehow disguise himself in the Beach in ways i didn't understand yet.

But I didn't feel *worse* for being able to figure things out ahead of time, I felt clever that I could piece together all the little hints and have a good idea of what was going on. It made death stranding feel more like a coherent sci fi narrative rather than a cheesy action story that's expected to follow certain strict genre conventions.

Not that I'm saying mgs or action in general are bad, but rather that imo Death Stranding feels...more mature and confident in some ways (and also isn't bogged down by 20 years of previous work. which. i don't even like my own shit from a year ago half the time, i cannot imagine having to write within the constraints you created TWO DECADES prior kjhksjfh). Maybe it's that it feels like less of a genre subversion and has more genre utilization? dunno. Now I'm thinking too much like an english major lkajshdf

But yeah anybody who wants to talk about anything totally feel free. Or if you want to give me prompts to write about. I will always be willing to talk about things for way too long on the internet. I just don't always reply quickly because I start rambling....Like This.

[onbearfeet]

#29 and 77 from the "Get to know your fic writer" ask game. For #77 it's any of the Monster Mash stories

❤️

29. How do I edit/revise? Under ideal conditions (ha), I use a process I learned in grad school that I refer to as "polishing". I put my manuscript away for a while, then reread it and pay close attention to my reactions as a reader. Wherever I slow down, stumble, or lose interest, I know there's work to be done, at which point the overriding question becomes: Is this the absolute best thing that could be here? Can I think of anything better? And I go paragraph by paragraph, sentence by sentence, word by word until I'm out of better ideas. I think of it like polishing rocks in a tumbler--I do it until only a smooth, shiny stone remains. It's much easier with beta readers to mark the rough bits, of course, but I don't always have that, especially in fic. I also have kind of a half-assed version of polishing that I do on the fly (it's mostly a product of practice), and that gets applied to my fic a lot. Fic gets slightly less polishing attention both because I don't have betas and because I write it primarily for the serotonin, in which I'm chronically deficient. I want to get chapters out the door and collect my sweet, sweet comments.

77. I'm probably proudest of the central conceit in "Well Met By Moonlight", the idea that the monster in the cell isn't the werewolf but Bucky’s self-image. I love writing a good angsty wallow. But my actual favorite SCENE (so far) in Monster Mash is Ted cuddling wolf!Jack in the final chapter of "True Colors". I actually made myself sad writing that (well, sadder than my depression baseline). I knew going in that Jack and Ted loved each other in ways they weren't yet emotionally equipped to express--they both have a major case of the poor-me-no-one-will-ever-love-me blues. But as soon as the image of Ted curling himself around a ball of suffering werewolf popped into my head (it was NOT on my outline), I knew I needed to write it. NEEDED. It was scratching an itch in my soul that I hadn't realized was there. I've spent a surprising amount of time talking to my therapist about Monster Mash, and that scene will probably be the topic of next month's session. There's something about seeing Jack's less beloved side be physically and emotionally supported, and about seeing Ted regard that as easier (arm-gnawing and all) because there won't be consequences later for his kindness. I will say that again: Ted is powerful and unkillable, and yet he's afraid of what will happen if Jack ever remembers how much Ted REALLY loves him. And Jack, for his part, will only accept comfort when he physically can't reject it or he's out of his mind as the wolf. In other words, they're tragic dumbasses. Finally, I'm always a sucker for the "who you are in the dark" trope--the idea that what you do when you can't be perceived is a window into your true character. And it turns out that who Jack Russell is, when he gets out of his own way, is a wounded puppy who desperately wants to be accepted. And who Ted Sallis is, when he knows no one will see or remember what he does, is a nurturer. Maybe it's because I lived through the irony-poisoned 90s and the grim and gritty phase of post-9/11 media, but I think it's refreshing to have characters reveal their true selves and those true selves be gentle, or kind, or sweet, or good. The monsters have a secret, and it's that they're sweethearts.

I hope this ramble has been entertaining. 😂 I should totally make a mini-lesson on my polishing process.

[facultyloungecosplay]

I'm happy to hear you liked Midnight Mass!! Did ~Monsignor Pruitt~ meet your expectations? Haha My personal favorite character was Riley (because I'm a sucker for sad boys ^^;). The scene where Erin and Riley were talking to each other on the boat (and what happened immediately after) made me cry so hard (but it was also like 3 in the morning when I watched that episode)

Hahah, I did really love Monsignor - I'm never immune to characters doing bad things for well-meant reasons. Putting more under the cut for those who wish to avoid spoilers:

I truly loved the poetic irony of Father Paul trying to save his community from mortality and then leading them directly toward it - not to mention losing the love of his life and his daughter in the final moments. It felt very Shakespearian and I loved the tragedy of it.

I grew to like Riley more than I expected - sad boys can be hit or miss with me, but his sadness felt very real and very sympathetic. When Father Paul says he has no guilt about killing Joe and Riley feels jealousy? SO GOOD. So human. The boat scene with Erin too - in hindsight it made so much sense, but I confess I didn't see it coming until just before the sunrise. Given how desperately Riley wanted to avoid hurting anyone else, there really wasn't any other action for him to take. Just so beautifully tragic.

And that final moment of the series, with the kids sitting in the boat - "I can't feel my legs." Cut to black. Oh LORD I want to write something this well. There is such an undercurrent of humanity throughout the entire series, how flawed and beautiful it is, how pain and joy and both part of the equation of it, and how trying to escape your own humanity strips you of the most poignant moments.

It's been a long time since I enjoyed a tragedy this much. Thanks for encouraging me to watch. :)

[transsexualhamlet]

hey boy 11 12 20 for the angbang. the. the lesbians

:))))))) hiiiii babygirl

wip ask game

link to the fic- due to be updated in a few days

11. What scene are you most hyped for in this fic?

The first two chapters are already published ofc so excluding those, I'm really excited to get to the trial scene, which really just throws everything off the deep end in every way. There are a lot of scenes I'm really excited about which I havent actually written yet, mostly the "mairon lives with wolves for a bit" arc which is very important to me, and ofc. The actual final destruction of the lamps- what can I say, I'm a complete sucker for cathartic apocalyptic destruction.

12. What emotions do you expect your readers to feel?

Well that's a loaded question. Generally, I mean, I want them to feel invested. I want autistic people to relate to this. I want it to feel like a natural progression, really, and to catch those underlying themes and narratives as it were. There's so much dramatic irony in the story, especially in regards to the far future, and I want people to feel like it means something and has something to say about the world as they see it. And I want them to be bombarded by all the attractive magic transgenderism in it. Theres that as well.

20. share three images that would fit into a moodboard for this fic.

Oh boy. No, you're getting ten<3 I'm very normal about this fic

[luimagines]

*walks in tiredly, offers you a mug of tea, downs my own like a shot, makes it like the Wild 100 years ago* Hey there, hope you're doing well today ^^

Probably long ask so uh, warning and apologies in advance. I'm glad the Lustrous ask was seemingly well received? XD It's just a snippet of a bigger thing, I'm writing a full thing for them when I have the time (along with a series for the Fairy Tale prompts, which I also have snippets of if anyone's interested?) which I'll post later and tag you if you're interested, plus you listened to me basically just come into your little corner of the internet and ramble about a crossover of a series you're not familiar with and LU, so it's only fair since it basically inspired me to keep going, so thank you ^^. Although, uh, Citrine/Little Link won't have a good time, apologies in advance, I blame the evil moon people. Yeah sorry he's probably going to pull a Time or Sky in the bad sense. That was an exchange from a draft of chapter 4 and English is not my first language even though I've been using it more for years, so that's likely why it's off, I apologize for that. Also I promised I'd come here and scream about how much I adore your writing of the boys (and once again, thank you for posting, great pick me up after a rough week that really does make me want to walk right into a Guardian beam, so here we go while I can even if I may need to split this in two if I hit the word limit.

Also the small family with Warriors and Wind is so wholesome, I think I went under from cavities alone (or maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, eh), please let the Link’s have parents and parental figures who stick around and don’t contribute to their trauma universe and Wind and Aryll are definitely up there in both deserving and needing it a lot, had to say I laughed at Warriors not being as thrilled by the crab as someone who makes friends with them and seagulls every time I’m near the ocean, they’re neat little fellas ^^, Poor Legend probably ain’t gonna be thrilled to find one on his clothes though, I know I wasn’t before figuring out how to keep them out, also, Reader comforting Aryll- just yes, also Wind’s grandma is the best I don’t make the rules. Sick Reader is such a mood, the boy's reactions hurt to read though it's really heartwarming how much they care, perfectly in character, 10/10, would definitly die over it again. Reader being good with a bow made me chuckle and smile because the irony of being familiar with a bow and seeing Reader and Wild excited of it reminds me of when I first picked it up, sweet and humorous and I adore it. Four getting a taste of his own medicine- *cackles hard in current Minish Cap player and Manga reader of it and Four Swords* That's what you get for your canonical flirting boy! He was as bad as Warriors and look where it got him XD Also he's so gone for Reader's Colors and Reader in general, it's sweet and just really good, I love it so much, plus the Reader’s colors have so much personality and it’s great. The Fear Room, goodness THE FEAR ROOM. I'm going to need to save it in for another ask because there are so many little details that I adore and I am a sucker for horror and it's too good- 20/10, would scare my poor dog again over my pain and elation.

Reader accidentally spilling who’s their favorite (and suffering as a result) also makes me cackle and smile a lot, it’s soft and sweet and each Link being so elated by it is literally so sweet (though Time, Wild, and Twilight literally murdered me during that segment, not a bad cause of death all things considered, but how dare all Link’s be so sweet? Like I’m already dead here, shoveled dirt into my box and everything, no need to try finishing me off), na interesting detail is how Hyrule and Legend both have the almost immediate reaction of asking why, dunno if it’s intentional or not but it’s a very neat touch, like you don’t have to elaborate but either way they���d happy if you did decide to which reflects really well with their characters. Four overreacting the second Reader takes it back (be smothe, smithy boy, specially so you don’t plot), Sky being sweet but oh so oblivious and basically killing Reader and Warriors being flattered, Wind just being triumphant in general and wanting to make Reader smile, Wild basically getting a critical hit in, Twilight and Time existing, it’s just so nice and I am soft. Plus the consistent and cackle worthy betting always makes me wheeze.

Speaking of betting, the Link’s being so gone for a tall S/O is both hilarious, consistency I greatly appreciate and a mood, plus the lines where definitely on point for sudden hilarity (“They got family?” “They took all your height” “And ours too-“ “Twilight wondering why he got none of that” absolutely sent me, great pick me up after a generally bad time existing), and all of them being soft and just so happy their S/O is in their lives and how they can show them off when meeting in each Hyrule is really wholesome, plus the consistent betting and friendly teasing which really sells how they are as close as brothers is really nice to see.

Soft Fierce Deity, honestly the main thing I can say coherently is that if the favorite scenario, and then the meeting scenarios slayed me, then this man came into my house and stole all my bones before killing me again in a good way because I am too soft, I have a really soft spot for the Fierce Deity, and the way you write for him is great and we usually don’t see much for him in any corner of the Zelda (or adjacent) Fandoms, it’s in character sure because Nintendo has a tendency of mentioning deities in Zelda or Link variants and then just refusing to elaborate, but it always makes me happy to see people write stuff for him among other things, 50/10.

How to Be a Heartbreaker delights me, always nice to see Warriors being the flustered one instead and his and Reader’s banter (and Twilight cameo) gives me life, I could probably write a small essay on why it delights me so much, but again word limit so let’s move on, maybe during another ask or something.

... Actually maybe I should save the oneshots for another individual ask, more organized that way.

Anyway, onto there’s only one bed! Also know as, Wild killing me with cackling that had my dog nuzzling me with concern and being my spirit animal all in one go, never change Wild Child, knew there was a reason you managed to bring me back to the Zelda fandom, me trying and failing not to be soft for Warriors, soldier boy deserves good things and it’s really sweet how much he cherishes reader, and me and Legend having the same trauma (aka KOHOLINT, if I could I’d fistfight the Windfish, I can’t go to the beach without a seagull being nearby and remembering Marin, specially with the friendly ones who actually come by just to stare and chirp for a while and it hurts), the fact he doesn’t want Reader to look down on him, because he doesn’t want them to leave him like how he basically lost or was left by most people in his life, the correlation with when he was stranded at sea, Reader comforting him- Just yes, bless the veteran. Flustered Reader is also my spirit animal, and cat Reader delights me to no end,  thank you once more for the wonderful contente and all your work in the fandom!

Also, while the urge to nap has not yet claimed me yet (and with hopefully the Tumblr wordcount not vibe checking me), I saw an ask about Time/Mask/Sprite with a resistance leader s/o? May I raise an idea/au of this au that’s been haunting me every second when I’m not doing anything much? Resistant Leader in the pre-timeskip timeline (aka The Child Timeline) started out as a Terminan Thief, that’s why Mask didn’t run into them when first going to get the Master Sword, they haven’t left Termina yet. The first contact Mask had with them after the timeskip was when they stole his wallet as a Deku Scrub, ran from him on the second day and then vanished on the third day. After the loop starts Thief/would be Resistant Leader Reader is somehow always just there, stealing random stuff from him and generally making his life harder (he would like to know how they snatched the Bunny Hood from his head and the Gilded Sword without him noticing, please? But Thief Reader definitely ain’t going to start divulging tricks of the trade) but always vanish on the third day before he can really stop them to talk, so honestly done and just really wanting to know why someone he remembers as this really amazing, confidente and badass leader would be acting like this (because it honestly doesn’t seem in character, given they were fighting Ganon for so long and stalled him several times on his search for Link) and just really missing a friend and being tired of these loops, he manages to follow them, maybe Reader was in a spot of trouble with other thieves and couldn’t get out of it unless they stole a certain quantity of rupees or rare items, and by the final day they snap and that’s why Link doesn’t see them (maybe the Gorman Brothers? If Reader spoke out and maybe tried using one of his stolen weapons to have a go at them for attacking Cremia and Romani if they’re close, although it’s generally ambigous, maybe it could be someone from Ganon’s former band of thieves who ran to Termina, and that’s why they became a Rebellion Leader in the timeskip? They couldn’t leave, saw what Ganon was going to do to Hyurle went, “Hm. Don’t really like that!” and probably fought their way out, maybe getting other thieves to speak up and rally together as well and it just escalated?) Either way, Mask sees what’s happening and that they probably can’t get out of it alone like usual and helps them because that’s HIS friend lord darn it he hasn’t seem them in forever and thought he wouldn’t ever see them again, the first familiar face since maybe Lullaby and Malon he’s seen in a while, he isn’t leaving them behind (casually raising my headcanon of Fae possesiviness being Time’s fault in the bloodline if we want to figure out where Hyrule’s came from, because the Kokiri are basically another branch of Fae and have fairies near them), and as thanks they not only give him his items of whichever loop his in back but maybe something of their own as well to remember, and help him out with the rest of the tasks or a temple (probably by somehow getting him the dungeon item, or a few dubiously acquired potions ahead of time), but if he had to reset they get caught up in it and actually remember the previous loop, given the way they just SPRINTED through Clock Town on the first day and instead of being subtle like always to steal something, they just bowl him over in a glomp and start checking him over, breaking the pattern.

Cue a bit of panic, several explanations and either an ear pull, cursing or stealing of rupees and holding masks hostage as revenge (and the threat of leaving him with nothing but the clothes on his back if he tries stopping them from helping, oh you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve done this now? And don’t want me to get hurt? Well too bad I am not letting you do this alone, News flash, technically I’ve already been hurt I’m not losing the one person who bothered to help me), and now he has an impromptu loop buddy to help him out even if it’s through questionable means after they usually deal with whichever other thief is around first. Maybe if after he defeats Majora and goes to leave he doesn’t tell Thief Reader, assuming they don’t want to come with since he’s caused them a lot of trouble and they’re technically free to do as they please now, only he can’t, because Thief Reader absconded with two more things of him: One of his earring’s, and the Fierce Deity Mask, which they are cheekily  waving to show off to him atop Clocktower, the earring on their own ears. (And seriously? HOW?!) Shenanigans ensue, maybe a chase or two, and Mask acquires himself a travel companion on top of Epona, Tatl and Tael on his search for Navi.

And honestly? Chaotic and bullheaded as they are and probably something of a magpie to boot, he wouldn’t have picked anyone else. You can hold your own and you’ve been ride or die with him twice over now, if that isn’t a sign you’re sticking around he doesn’t know what is.

Or something, idk, I’m running on three hours of sleep, maybe someone with more energy can expand on this into the War of Ages later or I’ll do it myself (Wind would have the best/worse role model ever, given ya know, Pirate and really light footed, feather touched and chaotic thief, Warriors is having heart attacks every five seconds even if he has to admit that when Thief Reader is going for soldier’s who talked badly about him, Mask, Wind, Ravio or Zelda is the most hilarious thing he’s ever seen and that one time they stole Cia's staff and were going to bash her over the head, Ravio is probably side eying them the whole time or seeing a business opportunity, Artemis and them trade tips due to her Sheik alter ego and both Mask and Warriors have to drag them away from one another, the possibilities are endless). I just find the idea of the Link’s with any morally dubious, but clearly cares a lot and wouldn’t hesitate to cut or bite someone for them amusing. Gives way for some interesting dynamics, like say Twilight and cattle raider reader (aka the cowboy/wild west themed rivalry au that I will not elaborate on), or Warriors with an Assassin Reader, or Wild with a mercenary reader, the possibilities are infinite folks.

Also also, if for some reason Mask and Thief Reader got separated before LU, and they reunite as Time and Still a Thief but much closer to their Rebellion Couterpart Reader. And their reunion basically goes like that one Puss in Boots, or the Lion King one scene: Thief Reader: *Holding dagger to throat, teeth bared as they just managed to steal the Fierce Deity Mask for the 10987th time from this strange man they don’t recognize after he gave chase, pauses for a couple of seconds in disbelieving, shocked recognition, dropping the blade*... Link?

Time: *Also in fight mode and ready to kick the attacker off of him and getting the mask back, actually takes a good look at their face and pauses in shock, long dead hope suddenly burning again, hesitant* (... Reader)? Thief Reader: *Not even hesitating to throw themselves at him in a hug with a slightly teary laugh* LINK! Time: *hugging them back just as tight, still somewhat in disbelief* (Reader).

Thief Reader: *pausing as they notice the Fierce Deity’s marks, flashbacks to all the times they told Mask not to over do it on the battlefield with it because they saw how much it hurt and affected him even if the Deity is pretty chill with them, chillingly livid as they level the tone at him, you know the one, pulling at one of his ears* ...Link.

Time, Knowing he is in danger as he recognizes that tone: ... (Reader). *wisely stays silent as they smack him hard on the shoulder and starting the lecture of a lifetime, silently glad Malon also isn’t here because she’d probably join you, but also just glad you’re even here to lecture and get mad at him in the first place after so long* The Chain, watching all this drama and telepathy display go down and who just wanted their stolen stuff back: I can just imagine the sheer confusion and bewilderment as to how Time knows this seemingly random thief who stole their stuff and would have probably dipped sucessfully if not by somehow getting Wild’s Slate, the Fierce Deity Mask and almost all of Legend’s rings at the same time and why they’re arguing like an old married couple about self care of all things. Most amusing reactions probably going for Twilight, Wild, Legend, Warriors and Wind. Or something, i’m probably not making much sense.

Anyway, I’ve probably bothered you with my rambling enough for one day xD Thank you once again for all your work in the fandom, maybe I’ll have more stuff on Lustrous reader or even Vessel reader next I’m by but until then, thank you ^^.

-Signed, Just a Tired Anon on A Stroll 🐚.

Anon!!! Hello again!!

NOT MY BOY LUCKY DX NOT LITTLE LINK!!!!! WHAT DO MEAN BAD TIME LIKE TIME AND SKY?!?!?!

But also, please tag in anything. I'm so intrigued and I want more fairytale stuff. Go ahead. XD

I'm glad you like the oneshots! Please tell me more of your thoughts on the Fear Room o.o I'm not big on horror so I'm glad it got the terror across ^.^*

And Fierce Deity and How to be a Heartbreaker and other because I want to hear all your thoughts. XD

And what do you mean Twilight- wild west au- rivalry?!?!? Hello!!?!??! You can't just drop that and say you won't elaborate!!!!

But this idea with theif! Reader is a good one :D

Clearly, you put a lot of thought into it and there's just so much potential.

The boys are all awkward and shuffling in the background as Time gets scolded because they're not sued to the leader cower back like that and even then he's not even trying to defend himself at this point and they're just staring. "....Who is this person?"

"No clue, but the Old Man finally got what was coming to him."

"I feel like my parents are fighting."

"I know them..." Warrior sighs. "I guess they haven't change at all."

Multiple heads turn to look at him.

He puts his hands up. "I'm not saying anything."

[beachy--head]

I don't know if I can submit more than one prompt but trying my luck! You know when Mark is trying to encourage April to be "the other kind of buddy" with Jackson, she mentions they could take more walks? Maybe a drabble about those walks? I'm a sucker for s8 Japril!

"A what?"

"A walk. You know, when you put one feet in front of the other and move around?"

"I know what a walk is, smartass," and he gently pushes her shoulder, "I'm just... Why?"

"Because when we're not working, we're cooped up inside, studying, and we need a break and some sort of physical activity," and he wills his brain not to go there, because it's April who's talking, but because it's April who's talking, his brain doesn't always obey. "Last night I dreamed I was doing a chest wall stabilization and I woke up pissed because I'd forgotten one of the main post-operative complications. We need to go outside. Now."

"Wait, which complication? There's anemia, fluid leak, pneum–"

"Outside, now!"

___

"Okay, now we're here, nice park, nice trees... Then what?"

"Then you relax, Avery, before that frown becomes a permanent fixture on your face."

"Haha."

"Oh wait, it's already one anyway. Too late."

"I hope you're not thinking of quitting your day job to become a comedian. And that you see the irony in you telling me to relax."

She stares at him for a bit too long and then looks away quickly, and he doesn't know what to make of it. But then she smiles and swats him, because that's what April does, and he's not ready to admit it yet (because he's stubborn and doesn't want to give her the satisfaction), but it's kind of nice to be out in broad daylight and walk among people who are not horribly injured or worried about hospitalized loved ones.

The walk for a few minutes in silence (their coworkers can make fun of April's tendency to ramble all they want, but it means a lot to him that he and April are comfortable enough with each other that they can be together and not necessarily talk), and he's almost ready to cave and tell her that she was right, until they see an old woman limping and perspiring reach a bench and sit down. As he starts to list potential medical conditions that could match her symptoms, he turns towards April to see she also has her doctor's face on and is thinking hard.

"Don't you dare, Kepner."

"I didn't say anything!"

[ambiguouspuzuma]

Code Red

You had to have a code. You know, even if only because it sounds good when you say it out loud. People are suckers for that sort of thing. I kill people. Oh no! But I have a code. Oh, that's all right then. It doesn't really matter what it is: some vague banalities, a handful of platitudes that everybody follows anyway. It gives the impression that your work is underpinned by some veneer of morality, or at least the rules of civilisation. That's good. Nobody wants to hire a savage.

With a code under your belt, you aren't just a soulless murderer who would do anything for the right price. Of course, the irony is that talking about the code is great for business, like a USP to differentiate yourself from the common or garden hitmen out there, to make your clients think they're getting a more prestigious service. A killer with discretion. Somebody they could trust, even though the whole thing is basically a scam.

No children or animals. That's always a good one. As if anyone would hire you to off the neighbour's chihuahua, even if it was being particularly yappy. Few people have any desire to hurt someone's kids or pets - and even if they did, they're pretty easy prey without professional help. Nobody hires a high-level assassin for that kind of job, and so the rule is never actually tested. That's the beauty of making a big deal about your code. You can get rewarded for the stuff that you were doing anyway.

The rules can be as arbitrary as you like. I don't hurt innocents is another one of mine, like anyone's itching to shell out five figures to bump someone who hasn't done anything wrong. I'm not looking to kill any saints, or martyr any new ones, but I've never actually been asked to. There's always a reason behind the hit, always some real or imagined guilt, even if the client's verdict wouldn't exactly stand up in a court of law. I never said I had the same burden of proof.

Only quick, clean deaths is another one that makes me sound like a world-class empath, when really I just like to get the job done as efficiently as possible. I'm not about to make a mess when I can shoot the target in the head. Why would I? That's just piling more risk onto my own back. I'm not doing the dead guy any favours in making it quick, removing any chance for him to defend himself, to raise the alarm for the police, or get my DNA under his fingernails. I'm only being merciful to myself.

Nothing less than $10k is just me looking after my bank account, but it does help to present yourself as exclusive. People want a premium service. They might have been happy to pay that anyway, but not as keen to commission a clean, professional hit from somebody who's also a back-alley butcher for those clients on a budget. I know, it's messed up, but I don't make the rules. Or I only make my own ones. You know what people are like. If it exists, customers will be snobs about it.

Then there are the weird ones, just to pad out the list. No jobs on Sundays. I'm not even religious, but it really adds that extra façade of dignity, doesn't it? Nobody over retirement age. That just brings some symmetry to the kid thing. There's definitely a market of people wanting old-timers dead, but it's not a massive chunk of the business, and I'm happy enough to let nature take its course. No veterans. It's good to seem like a patriot. Besides, I'm always less keen to go after a guy with combat experience.

But then I got the offer. It came in a letter, unsigned, promising $100k on completion of the job - ten times my minimum rate, and enough to keep me in ammunition for the foreseeable future. In fact, I would barely need to use any more for a while. But the job itself was weird. Some old major from the Navy, with specific instructions to hit him on his way to church on Easter Sunday, two weeks from now.

That's a handful of my rules in tatters all at once. One or two might be an accident, clients who forgot a detail or didn't bother to read my terms, but the three least important ones, the ones I'd simply made up, and none of the rest? I don't see many jobs like this, with that level of specificity, coming around by coincidence. Somebody has asked me this on purpose - with that price calculated to tempt me just enough to bend the code I claim to keep. Like they're seeing what I'll say. Like it's some sort of test.

[bonesandthebees]

alright - chapter 10 of stars!

MY LAND IT'S GETTING GOOD :D

I love Sam's desire to kind of stand up for the boys. I'm a sucker for soft awesamdad and that tickled my fancy, idk if it was intentional kekw

Tommy being angry at Wilbur is sort of, refreshing i guess? to see. Instead of Wilbur being irritated at Tommy being childish, it's the other way around about his outburst, and ohohoho i love some literary irony.

Schlatt wanting to see Wilbur took me by SURPRISE! although I should have seen it coming given the way he was more focused on during the past couple chapters and the way he spoke during the big negotiation this chapter. Also Karl's little interaction with Wilbur was cool, I appreciate and respect your ability to give him the seeing-the-future bit without revealing too much :) I always have trouble with revealing either too much or too little, and reading your writing inspires me to do better, and shows me what's more reasonable! First off in the convo with Schlatt, I LOVE the evening of the field via asking casually not to use titles. I have a feeling Schlatt's going to become a favorite character of mine in this fic kekw! I also love the way Schlatt calls Wilbur 'loverboy', like it's so funny to me and I hope it's a regular thing outside of official court stuff.

There's one more thing I realized while reading this chapter: Quackity hasn't appeared in this fic. Since there are such, well, lesser-known or more recently added SMP members in this story like Michael and Tina, it got me wondering - is Quackity a character, and will he play a major or pivotal role at all?

:>

hi crow anon!! so glad to hear you enjoyed!

we're going to get to see sam more in the next chapter so look forward to that :) hopefully it'll shine some light on his thoughts and actions

i love writing arguments if you can't tell. i especially love writing the brothers fighting, because they're so close but that's also what creates the most tension. the people you fight the worst with are often those you care about the most.

i definitely want to give some focus to the side characters we have jsut for reason of balancing things out and giving the boys interaction with people outside phil and techno. i love seeing what goofy shit i can make karl say or do. I'm very careful with what I have him say, so I'd say figuring out how much you can or can't reveal in a plot is something that just takes practice, but ty for the kind words!! schlatt was also a really fun one to write about this chapter, and I wanted to show the difference between when you choose not to use titles as a power play, vs when you actually go about it the 'proper' way and just casually ask not to use titles to even the playing field. ironically, schlatt was the more proper one compared to phil regarding this, because he had no ulterior motives asking not to use titles. he just wanted things to be casual

quackity is going to appear! i still need to flesh out his role a bit more, but he's definitely going to show up at some point. likely not until the political summit ends though for reasons that'll become clear when you meet his character :)

[wayslidecool]

what's up with Steals Chark?

so Steals Chark (reflexive pronouns, use the pronouns you'd use for yourself when referring to Steals) is an Alternate of Siobhan Chark that co-exists alongside her in the same reality. it's something she feels pretty self-conscious about, so she has basically made an effort to be as much unlike Siobhan as possible. Steals is going to be loud, in-your-face, and confrontational! she likes to do a little trolling! she'll bury herself under so many layers of irony, that when you peel them back, you just find more irony. but it's cool. it's what she wants. or at least, it's what she says she wants.

Steals is the kind of person so deep in her insecurities, that she's willing to push everyone away if it means being able to establish her own identity. maybe she's trying a little too hard, but if that's what it takes to solidify herself as her own person, then that's what she's going to do.

Steals's main friends on the Georgias right now are other Season 23 newcomers: Randy Dennis and Hiroto Wilcox. she bonds with Randy due to the overlap of Randy's genuine interests and her own maybe-ironic-maybe-unironic interests, and she bonds with Hiroto because Hiroto's kind of just looking for someone she can get playfully confrontational with. Steals and Hiroto get into bite fights and they both love it.

i think part of why Steals likes these two is sort of the fact that, no matter how hard she tries to push people away, these two genuinely want to spend time with her, and in a way it feels validating -- these are people that want to be with her for who she is, rather than just seeing her as "another, more different Siobhan". maybe she wouldn't openly declare herself friends with these two, but also i think Steals was one of the first players to check in on Randy when she got beaned in Season 24?

i've seen Steals/Nanci thrown around as a dynamic as well but honestly i kinda struggle to see their interactions, at least at the moment. like, yeah, they both kinda suck, but they suck in very distinctively different ways, and plus their main Circles don't really have a lot of overlap. i'd love someone to try and sell me on these two, though. i am a big fan of BIG GRACK, and i'm always down to find more situations to throw him into.

i think my FAVORITE character dynamic with Steals has to be with Frankie Hambone. i can't help myself, i am a sucker for character foils, and also Frankie's just one of my favorite Georgias players. Frankie is just such an honest, patient, and down-to-earth guy that he's willing to put in the time and effort to connect with someone like Steals, no matter how hard she tries to push him away. and ultimately i think it works! Steals might not want to be caught dead hanging out with someone she thinks is such a huge square, but she can't pretend she doesn't look forwards to Frankie's weekly Yu-Gi-Oh lessons.

feel free to keep asking questions about the Georgias! i don't have much better to do, and my infobox is always open!

[kingmakercastle]

❛  what can i say? i'm a sucker for happy endings.  ❜ (Liesel)

Lucien couldn't wrap his head around the idea happy endings existed. He had never had a happy ending, he had never even witnessed one. All he had seen in the world was cruelty and torture. No humanity.

Humans believed vampires were the monsters in society, but Lucien knew the truth. He had witnessed it, and he had been a victim of this truth.

Humans were the monsters of society.

Vampires had no qualms about their nature, they never claimed to be anything other than what they were. They hunt, they fed, they were predators. They were the top of the food chain and they knew it.

"Youth provides a kind of hope age and time slowly chips away at, until there's nothing left of you but a shell of who you were. All you see in the mirror is someone you no longer recognize."

He paused momentarily, letting his finger drag along the spine of The Picture of Dorian Gray. The irony was hardly lost on him.

"I only hope the same never happens to you."

[robinplayspokemon]

pokemon anime 2x03-2x04

wow, some actually quality bullying from gary, wtf? anime gary is usually comically bad at being a bully.

what up gay nerds! so, yeah, these two episodes are basically a two-parter so i'm gonna talk about them as one entity instead of separately this time.

in this episode, the sucker squad--i mean, team twerp--i mean, team himbo has finally arrived at cinnabar island! but despite the fact that ash has been saying for several episodes now that he can't wait to face the gym leader at cinnabar island (and i think either brock or misty, who are LITERALLY GYM LEADERS so should probably know said that was the next closest gym before that), ash finds out that--gasp!--there is not gym on cinnabar island! whaaaaaaat!?!?!?! how can this BE!?!?!?!?!?!

anyway, yeah, he solves a bunch of riddles and finds a fucking badass gym inside of a FUCKING VOLCANO.

it turns out the hippie dude who's been tormenting ash with riddles is just blaine the gym leader in a whig. it's very silly, but the reveal is actually pretty dramatic, and i'm gonna be real with you guys: the battles at the end of both parts of this two-parter fucking rule.

using squirtle (who gets his ass kicked despite a type advantage), charizard (who refuses to obey), and pikachu, ash takes on blaine's team of...

... ninetales, rhydon...

... and magmar, who gets a motherfucking kaiju entrance. seriously, these episodes do a great job of establishing magmar as a FUCKING BADASS despite the fact that i've never really cared for his design or thought much of him in the games. but this mini-arc made him super memorable!

anyway, after a rare cliffhanger ending, ash ends up getting bullied into forfeiting the match to avoid pikachu getting fried. team rocket tries to do some dumb shit which ash helps thwart, but in the ensuing chaos the volcano almost erupts, forcing ash & blaine to join forces to stop it from destroying the whole island. during this charizard falls madly in love with magmar--i mean! charizard is impressed by magmar's strength & decides he wants to fight him. (no seriously, they're SUPER gay for each other. it's pretty cute.)

so yeah, blaine says as thanks for helping save the island, "i'll give you--" and then ash cuts him off to ask, "my volcano badge?" and blaine is like WTF dude, i was gonna say a REMATCH to give you another chance to EARN the badge, you think people just give those out??? and ash laughs nervously and is like oh yah of course not who would think that hahahaha...ha... (ok those last few things don't actually happen, but they totally do in my head.)

ash gets ready to send pikachu out to get his ass kicked again for some reason, but in the most non-twist twist ever, charizard steps forward and demands to battle, because he's so gay for--i mean, so impressed by magmar's strength or whatever the fuck case of the not-gays they gave him.

again, the battle in the previous episode kicked ass and established magmar as an absolutely massive threat. this battle actually kicks EVEN MORE ASS? i'm not sure why the best battles of the show's first season and a half or so are crammed into back-to-back episodes, but here we are.

so yeah, charizard & magmar have a SUPER gay fight that ends with charizard flying high into the sky with magmar in his clutches & hurling him down with a seismic toss, one of ash's best tactical moves ever.

these episodes fucking own. i don't really have anything else to say about them. fuck irony, this baby show for babies fucking rules. s-rank

[seabreezeraincloud]

I'm curious to know if you ship Cassandra with any character either from the Tangled series, or outside from the show?

Fun fact about me: I'm not much of a shipper just in general. I know, I know - a sapphic nerd obsessed with cartoons not being into shipping? How could this be?? But it's true. Fandom culture's obsession with shipping is not something I've ever been able to really relate to, and frankly I think part of why I generally prefer cartoons is that they tend to be less likely to rely on romance drama as a driving force for conflict (for the most part...). Every once in a while there will be a ship that hits that Sweet Spot, but even those are few and far between. One of my favorite romances in any media is Wall-E and Eve, for crying out loud (to be fair though, the romance in Wall-E is wholesome and adorable and fills me with joy every time I watch it, 10/10). Needless to say, shipping culture tends to make me feel a bit alienated, especially when it's treated as the default fan experience.

When it comes to ships involving Cassandra specifically...yeeeaaah, I'm a picky shipper, and the pickings are slim. I mean, the show's only other prominent female character in her age range is Rapunzel, so it's no surprise that's the fans' go-to. And if you don't vibe with that go-to ship, then the only other options I can think of are two career criminals who barely get any screen time at all, let alone with Cass, and characters from other franchises entirely, an obvious one being Elsa from Frozen. And, uh...I can't say I get super into any of them.

That being said, I do casually enjoy these ships; they just don't particularly influence how I interpret canon, if that makes sense. For example, while I do read Cassandra as having a crush on Rapunzel - mainly because it makes what Rapunzel does to her in S2 all the more tragic, and I'm a sucker for that pain - I don't interpret their relationship overall as romantic. I don't view their scenes through Shipping Goggles, and I don't have any headcanons about them getting married one day. I enjoy some of the fanart and AUs, but canon-wise, I interpret it as a bittersweet not-meant-to-be ship. Cass and Caine is pretty fun to explore, but again, not something I see working out in canon. Cass and Elsa, along with any other crossover ship, is pretty much the same thing. Despite none of these ships hitting that Sweet Spot for me, I do admire the fan creativity that goes into them.

The irony is that I do want Cassandra to fall in love and form a lasting romantic relationship, and in my mind, that happens outside of Corona with someone brand new. Yes, I specifically imagine that person being my OC, but even outside of me being a shameless Canon x OC shipper, it just makes the most sense. There is no one in the show itself that I find it satisfying to ship Cassandra with. So if you don't count my own OC or my casual enjoyment of multiple ships, no, I don't ship Cassandra with any other character.

[the-firebird69]

And you trumpsters are the most pitiful people I've ever seen you hate my people you hate my people you're going after my clan like a bunch of retards sick puppies or something idiotic dogs I don't know what to tell you it's so stupid it hurts I couldn't believe you're doing it on your own fruition I figured out you are in fact my uncle you're not related to me you just idiots

Zues Hera

You're not we hear what you're saying you have a kind of idiots most the time these people know stuff and we don't question them right and we hurt them they go away they might forget stuff and it's gone how Tommy f is looking and probably go after him up by accident cuz we're stupid it looks like we do really badly but really it's not using it too and say you're there you're inspiring it cuz you think you got the secret but that's not the secret that he got we know about it it's a piece of it Iwell make sure that it's lost Olympus says you can really give a s*** he's trying to get you to go find the secret so you can get rid of you and whoever finds them cuz they're clutches and clumsy and unprofessional and lame really a way to mean to him but he found a way to use it we need those people in, they said that too I certainly understand something getting the information is not as easy as questioning them once looking at a computer moving on I'm probably not sophisticated enough to do it but we have to try and everybody else is looking now so it's a lot of competition but we don't like them at all and we express it and we don't know what you're talking about most of the time so we need to know stuff

Woody

I understand what you're saying and you're kind of stupid would you you don't really need to be here you're an a****** actually so he's a great a****** so he says it the way I like to hear things not like right down the pipe and eat it just shut up he doesn't want you here so dumb. What are you saying is we're discarding information that's been gathering over a thousands of years not yesterday what he said today was profound the films are going back to Disney and that's where they've been finding them and there's a special place in each of the castles and there's two castles here in the United States and there's some relatives that have castles elsewhere and that would be irony and ghwb so probably work with Ken and people like him

Qui Gon

Thank God for you I'm into this he wants us to be and he wants to sucker Punch The Empire I know he's up to and it's real and they're using it and they're powerful and they might be actual aliens

Obi wan Kenobi

[thejacemister]

To all the things i'll never say

It's been a rough few weeks. from losing my luggage to finding out you're falling in love with your best friend. but that's just life's irony for ya. I'm confident enough to say i've made some progress. i've forgotten about the other one. yeah my first. remember that? (see previous 30 posts lol). but i digress.

I've compartmentalized really well. Or at least i'd like to say I've done well for the most part. I want to say that at no point have you been on my mind 24/7 for the past 4 months...but then i'd be lying. Cause prior to that, you were never really someone I would EVER consider being with. Yet here i am. I've seen the bad and the ugly in you... But i've also seen the good. You can be quite a fucking prick sometimes. There are times where i've wanted to slap you upside the head for saying some ignant shit but here i am. There are times where i'm so mad at you, i might as well have smoke coming out my "big ears" (your words not mine. my fucking ears are beautiful odiosa). yet here i am. algunas veces te quiero decir tantas malas palabras hasta q me de un attaque de asthma. pero todavia llego a este punto. What can I say. call me a sucker for love i guess? or maybe its called masochism?

It makes me hurl tbh, but in the warm feeling. I guess I've been rejecting "love" so much that the universe decided to answer accordingly. yikes.... despite. all. that. I somehow feel the way i feel. I crack jokes just to see you smile. I've come to yearn your laugh, even if i have to say some stupid shit 😅. I love the way your face gets when you're trying to decide on something. I love the fire you get in your eyes when you are passionate about something. I love the voice you make when you're feeling lovey and I love the way you are just one big pillow i can cuddle. I've grown to know every little quirk about you and have even grown to love them as well INCLUDING what you call "your flaws". my rough days no matter how dark it can get, always gets brightened by your phone call. and even when you were just a drive away, I would come out of work dead tired just to hang out. it was nice. at first it never started like that. it was COMPLETELY platonic. you were chill. and a really good listener. Honestly you were a great person to be around. you've seen me at all my seasons minus 1. My Spring. where i finally grow. and ever since meeting you, you've had this profound effect on me to do just that. to better my life.

We both stand for so many contradicting ideals, I can write a whole list on what we disagree on. I hate the way you do certain things and i'm sure the feeling is mutual. sometimes I feel you are just Fire and Earth, so destructive and ambitious, and my Water and Air calm and laidback attitude shouldn't have ever mixed. Yet i call you my best friend. HA. haven't used that word without meaning to its fullest extent.. kinda funny how things work out. There are times where your stubborness matches my stubborness that se nos va salir chispa por la cabeza 😒. it's comforting in a strange way. where was i going with this? right...

Call this an ode. a poem. or some fucking love expression. But its also a catharsis for me. After all bottling it up is as explosive as you can get... its crazy the things one imagines or thinks when they let their mind wander. I remember when I said I didn't want to get married or fall for someone again. I remember when i said i wasn't going to give someone a part of me. I remember when I said i didn't want to start another fire with someone. shooooot even in my drug induced haze I remember that. somehow, you make me want to kick even THAT habit. hmph, almost. I'll call it as it is. i'm an addict. I'm a self-loathing, self destructing masochist with a cycle of toxic traits and behaviors that only fuels my bad decisions. I let myself sit there to numb the pain. to numb any kind of feelings or emotions that used to hurt me. for awhile. Then after everything happened, i started letting myself feel again. NGL i did not like it one bit. but what is life if you're not gonna enjoy it. why not let yourself feel?

But i've grown enough to know that I am not just my bad decisions. grown enough to know that as much as I can hate myself and put myself down sometimes, i'm also my biggest fan. I love the good AND the bad things about myself. after all I am a work in progress. I love how big of a heart I can have and how naive it can make me. I love how no matter how many times I can get shit on, i'll still have my doors held open. I love how no matter how much conviction I can have or how sure I am of something, I am wise enough to know that ideals and rules change and its stupid to be too rigid. One must always grow and accept what comes with this growth. I'm still a bit clumsy, i'm always tripping over my words, and i'll always be soft spoken. I can be a dunderhead and sometimes I can be REALLY dense. I sometimes have no filter, and I can be an asshole at times. I make jokes to cover up how i actually feel and sometimes I like to turn off my brain for a bit. I love and hate being alone (50/50). I am compassionate and maybe my dark humor could use some lightening up...

Where was I again? right. still getting there..... despite all my self aware quirks and continuous growth, i've finally lost my fear. what scared me before doesn't scare me so much. I never had this image of "the ideal partner" if i were ever to get married. If we're being honest, its not something I like to think about. Strangely, i've been getting these images of sunny vacations, making breakfast, joyful surprises, and sometimes if i let my mind wander, a white picket fence. Before I would just have silhoutte with me in all these images. Never really a face I can put on. I mean even as I type this there isn't one now. But when I put your face in all these equations... it warms my heart. 🤢 yikes. almost made myself barf there. The future doesn't seem so scary, with you in it as my partner. maybe even more..

I'm not saying i'm looking to marry someone. 'cause i'm not. Marriage is the last thing on my mind. That's a whole headache I just DO NOT have the mental capacity for. At least not yet. I'm a selfish person and I do not like to share. But I would like to be with you. I'd like to be your person, and for you to be mine. I'd like to one day look you in the eyes as you look upon mine and tell you "I am yours, and you are mine. " . I'd like to wake up to you everyday to smell your hot breath. I'd like to grab your hand for reassurance and hold you for comfort. I'd like to be a clown with you and cuddle up with you whenever I want. I'd like to have you whenever I want as you would have me whenever you want. I'd like to be your rock in your time of need and show you I am part of your team. I'd like to have silly fights with you and actually talk and work things through. I'd love every second of that. I know I would.

I know I'd make you happy. I know that I can be better. Those are FACTS. I know the kind of person I can be. When I dedicate myself to someone, they get 130% everytime. Whether they ask for it or not. Clingy.. I know.. but i'm not completely a savage either. I know everyone has their own lives to live. But you get what i'm trying to say 🙄. You'll get the parts of me I locked up 3 years ago and promised to NEVER open again. Those are the better parts of me. Parts that I can't let just anyone have. Parts that I had to say goodbye to because they are an aspect of me that I cannot give away freely... Unfortunately they are gonna have to stay there.

If you've been paying attention... these are all things i'm never going to say. Instead, I must build a wall again. Instead I must nip this at the bud and do what I do best. Self destruct. I need to push you away. I need to make you hate me or dislike me. I've already started planting the seeds of disownment all this week leading to my departure. Its better like that or at least that's what I tell myself. I'd rather have you think of me as someone you would hate to be with. I can't show you the better part of me. I can't show you who I am at "My Spring". you're my best friend. I can't fall in love with my best friend again. I don't want you to see what I could be. I cannot let myself get roped into this. I can't do that myself or you. I love you too much for that.... if this movie has any ties to reality, then my dreams have shown me what could be. in another universe. In some we are happy with kids. In others, its just us two against the world. And in others we grow old together. But in all of them i've found bliss and comfort. yeesh where's the ginger ale when you need it i'm gonna barf soon... anyways, its nice to see that. maybe in another life or another time. for now I must walk this road again.

You have Him and you have the other. You're already stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'd rather not add more fuel to the fire. If I could give you platonic advice it'd be "if you love two people at the same time, always choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second one". My advice is to go be happy with Bamboo. But I know you won't. I hope you don't hate me too much after all this. I'm going to miss you my very dear friend. I'm sorry i'm falling in love with you. I'm gonna be leaving a part of me here in Cali. These are a list of things I hope you never read or find out. I don't want it to influence you in any way. Please take care of yourself. You don't know how much you mean to me and I couldn't live with myself if something were to happen to you. they say "all is fair in love and war". With that being said, I wish you good fortune in all your wars to come... and now it begins.

[dino--draws]

I had always wondered what the french-fried-fuck he meant when he said he could ‘sense spirit’  It’d be very ironic and pretty interesting if he was an empath