#what can i say the gays love lovejoy

[st-ffwriter]

Promoting a fic im working on ‘cause why not!

Short summary: Will is sceptical to how a service dog can help him. Turns out Chester is not only great at his job, but also loves meeting new people.

[Never met Byler au]

It’s gonna be called “What A Blessing (To Meet Someone Like You)”

(LIVE LAUGH LOVEJOY🫶🫶🫶)

Will Byers is not a normal teenager. Aside from the “no friends” “freak” “gay” accusations (which are all technically true, although he’ll never admit it out loud) he also has episodes. Weird periods where he goes all numb and his eyes roll back and he gets really vivid dreams about monsters and shadows and- well, you get the point. Will has problems.

And Joyce Byers’ solution to that is…

“A dog?” Will stares incredulously at the creature sitting there with its tongue out and head slowly leaning forward as if asking for attention.

“Will, sweetie, he’s a highly trained service animal that can detect your episodes before they even happen. He’ll keep you safe.”

Will wants to scream. A dog? A fucking dog. Does his mom not understand anything? “I am safe.” He scrunches his nose, and adds, before Joyce can say anything else, “Besides, I’m already getting bullied enough as is and you want me to drag a dog around with me?”

“I just want what’s best for you.” Joyce sighs, giving him a “concerned mom look” and- ugh. Will hates when adults say that.

Lmk if you’d read this please, or I may not publish :,)

[autisticempathydaemon]

hihi im here for the redacted matches thing, if its still open :)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? “Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But…” by Arctic Monkeys! ive always loved indie rock music, and this song in particular just scratches that musical itch in my brain

What is your Enneagram type? Type 2, The Helper

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? nooo they’re too long :(

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. i was supposed to have a childhood imaginary friend? nah fam i played with calico critters all day, i dont think i ever had a childhood imaginary friend

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? usually just listening to comforting audios, or taking melatonin 

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) it sounds cool as hell, and if the person i stole it from isn’t using it anymore, imma yoink that shit and claim it as my own

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? "Your Boyfriend's a Flirty Vampire Prince and ALSO a Cheeky Dork". heart eyes at Vincent rn

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Yandere!Ivan and Regulus who genuinely makes me uncomfortable, i only ever listened to Yandere!Ivan for lore reasons and i have refused to even go near Regulus bc that mf is CREEPY. i dont get the hype for either of them really

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. OOOH okay SO theres this book called Just Ash by Sol Santana, and the main character is intersex!! ive only ever once seen an intersex character in a piece of media, and that was 7 years ago. Just Ash kinda details the struggles that some intersex people can go through, and i learned a lot because of it (i didnt even know that salt wasting was a thing before reading this book). Just Ash also inspired me to start doing research on disabilities that arent as well-known throughout the world, such as scoliosis or ostomy.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Huxley. i need some good hugs in my life man. and Porter for queer reasons (that man is GAY you cannot tell me otherwise — plus you already know that he has some great sarcasm with the whole gag reflex quip)

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) when im low on energy, i either go nonverbal or start saying random silly things

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. despite being white, i have never had the classic white experience of visiting a gas station and terrorizing the cashier with my friends. i dont have a specific gas station that i like, but i looove the cherry slurpee omg that shit goes hard

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. i have ceremoniously named it ♥️ good shit ♥️ because it has good shit in it (imo). Arctic Monkeys, Laufey, Mitski, Lovejoy, The Orion Experience — basically any indie rock band/soft-voiced sad girl that goes hard

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? boyfriend asmr that surpasses asmr because its chocked full of lore and likable characters and world building and

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! i loveloveLOVE pink omg best color ever fr. also. i eat lore for breakfast, literally my favorite thing ever. i will listen as you info dump about those silly little characters that run around in your head. im also autistic btw if that counts for anything 👍

(ive done this before, but i dont think it sent last time 😭)

Oh, this is easy peasy lemon squeezy. If you’re an autistic person with a love of lore and stories, there’s no better match for you than Guy, our resident storyteller!

One, we love an A4A relationship, and Guy has got to be the dictionary picture of an AuDHD dude, you know? Two, Type Two’s are characterized as being friendly, giving people who want to love and be loved, and Guy would be a good match for you because he is just so loving, so affectionate. I also love him for you because Guy is kind of as far from a yandere as I can imagine, and that feels right.

The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much fun you and Guy would have. He, of the Redacted bois, strikes me as the most likely to listen to Redacted, so couldn’t you just imagine it being a shared special interest between the two of you? You could listen to early access together and scream about it on tumblr, because let’s be real, Guy 100% has a tumblr. He’d also adopt popular lines and the Redacted ringtone as vocal stims, and I can imagine you finding that charming and funny because it would be.

Song:

Every time I think of you/ I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue/ It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem I find/ Livin' a life that I can't leave behind/ There's no sense in telling me/ The wisdom of the fool won't set you free/ But that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows/ Well, every day my confusion grows

I’m not gonna lie- I don’t super know what this song means, and neither would Guy. I do know that it’s fun, it’s a love song, it’s indie rock, and it’s a classic. This strikes me as the type of song that Guy knows all the words and can perform without a second thought, thus he loves turning it up and singing it at you whenever it comes on in the car.

Runner-Ups:

David is a runner-up for you because I love A4A pairings, and David is my favorite Redacted boi to headcanon as autistic after Guy. However, I do prefer Camelopardalis as a runner up; he’s not autistic, but I think his nature is more outwardly effusive and affectionate than David’s which would be better for a Type Two.

note: thank you for waiting~ you did send this before, and it came through; it just took me some time to get through the entries before you 💛

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[twopoppies]

this article warms my heart! i know the social conversation on harry and queerbaiting has been exhausting and turbulent, but this is what matters. real people feel more comfortable with themselves and exploring their identities. that’s his real impact on young queer youth— no one can take that away. it’s all summed up by Ash:

“They see him, they like him,” Sandoval said of Styles fans. “And if they like him, they might like me too.” ❤️

Oh this is wonderful. And I love that quote. Thank you for sharing the article with me.

Katelyn could hardly believe it.

Harry Styles’ percussionist, Pauli Lovejoy, picked up the nonbinary pride flag their friend had tossed onstage and began dancing and waving it while Styles sang. It was October of last year, and Styles was performing in Nashville. Katelyn, a nonbinary fan who asked to go by their first name because they have not yet come out to certain family members, screamed with joy at the top of their lungs.

“It just made me feel so safe and validated and loved for being who I am,” said Katelyn, 19, who uses they/them pronouns. “I came out to a lot of people after that experience.”

It’s no secret that Styles is a champion of the LGBTQ community, but to a special section of that fan base — his young gender-nonconforming devotees — Styles’ ability to exist comfortably, and extremely publicly, in a fluid space along the gender spectrum is particularly resonant. For them, Styles, 28, is an icon and advocate whose journey to self-actualization, and unapologetic ability to wear a Gucci gown or a string of pearls, mirrors their own strides toward self-love and discovery.

At his concerts, Styles regularly helps fans come out to their families by reading signs they hold up in the audience. He then celebrates them by leading the crowd in affirming chants, as he did on opening night of his 15-show stand at Inglewood’s Kia Forum. After asking a fan named Serena if she was sure she wanted to go public, he declared, “Congratulations, Serena, thank you for being here tonight.”

“He helped me feel like a lot of things about myself are OK,” said Alondra “Ash” Sandoval, 20, who uses she/they pronouns and said they are just beginning to explore their gender identity. Sandoval stood in the Forum parking lot wearing a snazzy black suit emblazoned with bright silver stars. The venue behind her was bathed in rainbow colors.

[…]

Styles has dropped so many references to his feelings about sexuality and his thoughts on gender nonconformity that fans regularly track them online. In an April 2022 Better Homes & Gardens cover story, the pop star called it “outdated” that people should expect him to declare his sexuality publicly.

“I’ve been really open with it with my friends, but that’s my personal experience; it’s mine,” he told the magazine. “The whole point of where we should be heading, which is toward accepting everybody and being more open, is that it doesn’t matter, and it’s about not having to label everything, not having to clarify what boxes you’re checking.”

A few months later in a Rolling Stone cover story, Styles said, “I think everyone, including myself, has your own journey with figuring out sexuality and getting more comfortable with it.”

[…]

Not all observers agree that it’s fine for Styles to disregard gender norms and ally himself so firmly with the LGBTQ community without identifying himself as part of it. He has been accused by some critics and disgruntled fans of “queerbaiting” — or co-opting queer identity — an ongoing controversy that is peaking as his latest film, “My Policeman” comes out, in which he plays a closeted gay man in 1950s England.

Many gender-nonconforming fans have served as Styles’ most staunch defenders. Grace Daniels, 19, who attends New York University and uses they/them pronouns, said that Styles does need to state anything publicly.

“Gender exists on a spectrum, sexuality exists on the spectrum,” Daniels said. “And who’s to say that you have to even have a label at all? Which is something that he has emphasized, extensively.”

Another fan, Suba, 19, who is from the South and uses she/they pronouns (who asked to be identified by their first name since they have not yet come out to certain members of their family), recently wrote an 11-page paper on the subject for their writing seminar.

In the paper, they argue that accusing Styles of “queerbaiting” is essentially the same as “telling any young kid out there who is hesitant to do something, like dressing a certain way, that they are not allowed to try out different expressions without having to label themselves one way or another.”

[…]

Hernandez said the song “Lights Up,” which came out in 2019, just when they were beginning to realize they were nonbinary, changed their life.

“I feel like that was just what I needed at that point in my life,” they said of the soulful tune with the lyrics, “Lights up and they know who you are / know who you are / do you know who you are / shine / step into the light.”

San Antonio-based transgender fan, Derek D., 19, agrees. When Derek (who asked to go by his first name and last initial only, out of concerns for privacy), was about 11 years old, and Styles was still in One Direction, Derek said, he remembers a fan complimenting Styles on his black nail polish and Styles acting a bit shy and embarrassed about it.

“Times were a little bit different back then. And I remember resonating with that a lot, just that aspect of doing something outside of what is typically acceptable for your gender,” and then feeling a bit sheepish in public, Derek said. Derek now calls this “the nail polish story,” and said it’s an anecdote he uses a lot when discussing the stepping stones along the way to discovering his identity.

“It’s almost as if he’s walking in front of me,” said Derek of Styles. “And he’s leading a path, saying, ‘It’s OK. I promise it’s OK to be yourself’.”

Full article here

[small-tragedies]

Number 03 with: Lisa Simpson!

How I feel about this character: I love Lisa so, so much in older seasons; I loved her storylines, and how much Lisa wanted to fit in and make friends reminded me of my younger self. She has always been relatable, and still, while I have some complaints about newer seasons, sometimes I have seen good storylines for her, and she’s my favorite to write about when I write fics. It’s fun to play around with what-ifs with her character that are fun to explore for me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Okay, here it goes: Jessica Lovejoy, Allison Taylor, Francine Rhenquist, Sherri and Terri Mackleberry, Nelson Muntz, Hubert Wong, the three bullies: Jimbo Jones, Dolph Starbeam, and Kearney Zzyzwicz ( I only ship them with Lisa when she is an adult or an AU I came up with where she’s Bart’s older sister who is the same age as the bullies), Shauna Chalmers (same answer as the bullies), and many more, and that’s off the top of my head lol. What can I say? I’m a multi-shipper. 😂

My non-romantic OTP for this character: This is for obvious reasons, not romantic, lol (no incest here). Lisa and Bart. I always loved seeing the episodes where Bart and Lisa actually have a nice sibling bond, aren’t at each other’s throats, and can get along longer than five minutes. 😂 Especially in the episodes where it shows they have a stronger bond as adults than when they were children, it’s sweet in a way that they mellow out in later years and become each other’s confidantes. And even if they’re fighting, they have always had each other’s backs, and I always think they will. And I just like writing them as a stupid brother-sister duo who go to each other about their gay crushes (Lisa and Bart are both bisexual in my headcanon 😆).

My unpopular opinion about this character: Give me back old Lisa’s characteristics! Please stop making her an overly opinionated butthole who thinks she is smarter than everyone and nitpicky about stuff. She literally had a problem with her parents in an episode because she felt like they weren’t showing they loved each other like how she wanted them to! Like seriously? 😒 Lisa would have never done that in older episodes; she was genuine and kind, and I want that back in her character! 😭 It’s sadly why a lot of people don’t like her in the fandom (I still love her very much; I can be critical of her character at times, though) because everyone thinks she’s a nag, which the writers have turned her into at this point.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: She never married Millhouse and instead married Jessica Lovejoy, and they were happily married. 😁

My OT3: Lisa Simpson Jessica Lovejoy and Francine Rhenquist. I have sooo many WIPs with fics exploring their dynamic as a polycule. 🥰😍

Thanks so much for the ask, Dawn! Once again, I love getting to gush about my Simpsons brainrot. 😂💕💕💕

[silly-goofy-mood]

This is a LONG one, folks!

UC characters as Parks and Rec quotes!!

Arc 1/7

Hope Lovejoy in arc seven: "I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight, and I’ve already broken that promise five times. But I will not break it a sixth.”

Sir Mister Person:  "I have the most valuable currency in the world: a blind, stubborn belief that I'm 100% right."

SK-73: "when people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't care about them."

Deb at the Sehuagans: "Although I truly hope that I never see you again, I do wish you a long and happy life."

Thavius at the very beginning of arc 1, probably: "I'd wish you good luck, but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures."

Bonus!!

Mister: "Who hasn’t had gay thoughts?"

Arc 2

Ash: "I wanted to make fun of stupid people while I get drunk. My two true passions."

Sasha about Mischka: "When you're in love, everything seems like a sign."

Robyn: "I have a permit." shows paper that says "I can do what I want"

Lyndell: "Girls love it when you can show them you're better than them at something they love."

Bonus!

Richard Lovejoy: "When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? Because I bet on all the horses."

Gem Lovejoy: "I'm not interested in caring about people." (Sorry not sorry)

Arc 3

Annie Wintersummer: "I just slept seven hours, which is twice as long as I usually sleep. I'm a bit disoriented."

Fey Moss: "I'm not ashamed to say I'm often inspired by myself."

Bombyx: "It’s pointless for a person to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it."

Aldrum: "Well, I am not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye."

Diarmad at the post-world-saving party: "Put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out."

Arc 4

Aster: "Literally everything is a weapon. That folder, in my hands, is far deadlier than that bow of yours."

Quinn: "I don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life."

Ace: "Winning is every kid's dream. But it's my destiny."

Russ: "If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair."

Arc 5

Sougle: ”And you can trust me. Because I don’t care enough about you to lie.”

Omen, wearing a flumph hat and holding fifteen eirden plushies: "I am very powerful and feared by many."

Wren, asking Omen and Sougle to do anything: "There’s like a 30% chance they’ll both die."

Onyx: "Dogs should be rewarded for not being people."

Booker, talking about Shi'elle: "She’s the worst person I’ve ever met. I want to travel the world with her." (In TVC, Owen said she joined his crew)

Arc 6

Kipp Tupper: "I have no idea what I'm doing. But I know I'm doing it well."

Remeny in episode two: "What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring loudly at me."

SK-69: "I'm like an elephant. I walk into a room, and people are like, okay, he's there."

Beryl: "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."

Lottie, high on dreamlily: "Windows are the eyes to the house."

Arc 8

Sybilla: "There’s nothing we can’t do if we work hard, never sleep, and shirk from all other responsibilities in our lives."

Penny Lovejoy: "I like saying no. It lowers their enthusiasm."

Nephila Mori: "I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it’s gonna bug me if I don’t."

Helga Hatebad: "I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I’m going to do.”

Sir Up Ton at the end of the arc: "I regret nothing. The end."

Arc 9

Julian in ep 2: "Oh, I have a medical condition, all right. It's called CARING TOO MUCH!"

Juniper, talking to Lacewing, probably: "No, I don't know how I'm going to die… Wait, are you telling me or asking me?"

Serenity: "Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something."

Art: "Jogging is the worst! I know it keeps you healthy, but god, at what cost!"

Riot: "Aw, you had a crush on me? That's embarassing!"

Valerian: "Riot, we're married."

[foxwell]

Let's just continue this fun game, A8E8! This time: I am unspoiled. Completely unspoiled. The episode dropped today while I was in an oral exam and I have not listened to the VC, I have not looked at anything in the Discord. I might cry. Who knows. Let's go.

Finally! Assassinate the Pinn! (I'm just a little bit sad that John won't be part of this I think that would have been fun)

Terrible thunderstorm? Quinn joins the angry commoners and goes to save Sybilla confirmed?

I want to draw a Penny Lovejoy tracksuit now, shit

Is Sir Up trying to switch his patron because it sure sounds like that

Hang on Sybilla! Hang on Sybilla!!! Queen of my heart!!!

Hang on Nephila!!!

Everything is so far away from everything in this castle, oh noooo

There comes the thunderstorm from my darling Isadora!!

Annie has murder in her heart and I am here for it

Pinn is going to take control, 100%

SYBILLA MY LOVE YOU CAN DO IT PLEASEEEEE

Yes Penny you are saying he's doing a great job but all your compliments are backhanded

Annie has other priorities than murdering a Lovejoy for the moment

"Yes Miss Wintersummer" I am so here for everyone respecting the shit out of Annie it's what she deserves!!! My darling girl!!

"She is two-armed. Also, quite small."

"I just want to ask a question. Sir Up Ton, do you have more than 150 hitpoints?" The shocked silence after that, SAME. SAME.

She appears right there and Annie has... no healing, does she? That's horrible. That's honestly horrifying.

IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND SUPPORT ANNIE FUCKING WINTERSUMMER

Nephila!!! Nephila my love!!! You got this hell yeah!!!

Gus saying "Helga Hatebad" the same way Sam always does, adorable

HEAL HER!! HELGA MY LOVE YOU CAN HEAL HER!!!

SHE IS SAVED!!!

SYBILLA IS SAVED!!!!

HOLY SHIT!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

SYBILLA I HAD ALL THE HOPE AND SO LITTLE BELIEF AND HERE YOU ARE!!!!

MY LOVE MY QUEEN MY DEAREST!!! YOU ARE ALIVE AND BREATHING AND CONSCIOUS!!!

Helga you had the best turn ever I love you

I still cannot believe that Sybilla is breathing

I mean there is still so much pod left to cast for this episode but oh my god

"It's my duty as a dungeon master to let you know that's possible" translates to "please kick Penny fucking Lovejoy" to me

Nephila you gay sweetheart

Yondo runs! You are running so good!

It may be stupid but honestly I respect Isadora for wanting to do the honourable thing. And I respect her even more for knowing that it's stupid and trying to find a balance.

I don't know why but the fact that Penny turned away feels like an important character moment, just like it felt important that Isadora did not, in Arc 3. Very different scenes, but still, both feel important in a similar way.

Sybilla do not touch that sword. Do not get within six inches of that sword I beg you.

NO DO NOT TOUCH THAT SWORD AHHH

I am not sure if it's better or worse that Annie has the sword. I guess her saves are better. But oh my god I have seen the Evil!Annie fanart and I am so scared

RUN BOY RUN!!

Annie my life my love my light my dearest (how many characters am I allowed to adore per arc)

KILL THE GUARD! SAVE OUR QUEEN! HELL YES!

It makes me very scared that there is still an hour left. How is there still an hour left. Please let it be just therapy or something.

Isa just knocked her father figure unconscious 🙂 this is fine

YONDO YOU CAN DO THIS I AM ROOTING FOR YOU!

Penny is helping Helga???? A Hatebad and a Lovejoy working together???? "I hope my mother forgives me for this" is this the point where I mark the Bingo field for Hatebad and Lovejoy at least friends at the end??

How do these Nat 20s come at such convenient moments I cannot. Fucking. Believe it.

There he is, the man of the hour!

PENNY FUCKING LOVEJOY

DID YOU JUST

PENNY

DID YOU JUST AGREE TO THIS MAN'S PROPOSAL WHILE HE IS OUT OF BREATH, BATHED IN SWEAT, STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCENE™

Penny I adore you. I want to study you.

Yondo is adorable oh dear, I am pretty sure he deserves better but I'm glad he got what he wanted

Amazing sibling energy, as always

A better tomorrow 😭😭 I am not sure if this is meant as a reference to what Helga said but it sure feels like it and I love it

Laz and Nephila 😭😭 they are adorable. Also. Great way to not just ignore what happened between them before. I am very glad.

WHAT IS HE DOING THERE

LEAVE, EVIL WIZARD

YOU ARE NOT WANTED HERE

The coronation while bodies are still lying around the castle. What a glorious metaphor for the mess Sybilla inherits from her father.

This kingdom needs to take some time to heal from a great many things I feel like

Yes my love, un-ban charity!

Mixed reaction is probably the best that could happen after that

Roadtrip with Penny, I am sure Isa could not think of anything more fun

AHAHAHAHAHA OH SHIT

Hnghhh three new recurring villains established in a single arc? Pinn, Loroy, Up Ton?

LOROY GO AWAY

GO AWAY

Where is Annie, someone get Annie, please

Sybillaaaaaa please do not let yourself be pushed into a corner by the evil wizard

NO

NO NO NO

JESUS FUCK

NO

OH MY GOD

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

NO NO NO NO NO NO

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

YOU CAN'T JUST FUCKING DO THIS

INCLUDING THE SOUL

I AM: IN FUCKING SHOCK

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN STABBED

IN THE CHEST

I AM GOING TO SCREAM

What the fuck is happening

I am going to cry

How dare he

How fucking dare he

Prime Lich Wizard I am going to personally hunt you down

If there is one thing I cannot imagine then it's Gem Lovejoy in a standard prison uniform

Where are the Hatebads

Is this the summon Hatebad dice roll?

This feels like the summon Hatebad dice roll

WHELP THERE IT IS

BERYL HATEBAD HER-FUCKING-SELF

I am so happy for Beryl, and at the same point I am honestly sorry for Penny and her siblings

Jesus fucking Christ

I am feeling so many emotions

Maevir darling you did your best, but oh dear

We were right, a fucking lich

Sybilla. My love. My darling.

THE CONTRACT COUNTS? IT'S FAIR AND TRUE???

THE NATION OF GLACERIA?

EXCUSE ME???

Oh my god

This arc

My heart

I am a changed woman

I am a broken and changed woman

Phil and Helga are very much not fine I think

Gus. Gus. I forgive you for Arc 8 just as I forgave you for Arc 6. But oh my fucking god.

I knew things were going far too well far too early into the episode.

Wiki will get updated end of next week when my last exam is finally over, promise.

Also, I am excited for a guest DM, and so much love to Gus! Take your well-deserved break!

[eli-writes-sometimes]

9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @yors-truly, thanks for that!

"3" Ships

I don't ship characters that much, so I could only think of one that I really actively love

Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood from The Magnus Archives

Gay little unwilling eldritch servants that are absolutely ADORABLE together, what's not to love?

Last song

What can I say, it's a banger

Last movie

It's been a while but I think it was The Penguins of Madagascar (aka the best film ever made)

Currently consuming:

I'm watching Taskmaster with my parents as in writing this (it's such a good show omg)

Currently craving:

A really hot mug of hot chocolate (I'm an easily pleased boy, what can I say)

Tagging - @littlepatchofhell @dogmomwrites @minutiaewriter @aether-wasteland-s @dragonthusiast @jamieanovels @angelasscribbles @lawful-evil-novelist @orphicpoieses (no pressure, and anyone can do this)

[vibestillax]

SPIRIT OF MOON'S DIALOGUE

Tags: @r0ckstardr3amgal @justalittlebitofchaos @vopix @haunted-headset @lexx-the-gay-rubber-ducky @witheredroseanon

CHP 1. PAGE 13

As well...Mendi is my comfort person, I think of Spencer so much..it drives me crazy..yes, I think im in a teenage romance, but I won’t talk about it.

“I can’t believe that we had been friends for like...7 years..” I spoke to Mendi

“I know...time flies..but don’t worry! Say thanks that we didn’t died”

“well...i don’t complain it,Glenn...People are the worst”

“Agreed with support.” I say.

...

I made it clear that we didn’t died,but what if...we died in another universe? What if we all died in that another universe?

Well....its terrifying, I don’t know why but im so sorry for what happened to my life I swear, I don’t feel srene tbh, but that doesn’t matter ok?..i just wann abe myself anyway. Is harder than you think it will be,I didn’t really mind those flashbacks..but..literally my life is like in “çukur” what does çukur means? It means “The pit”.

Is alright anyway im only the zodiac Gemini after all....Im always that girl.who wears baggy clothes.But that doesn’t matter.because im myself and is my life..Dang what a dream i had..It was More an..NIGHTMARE!

I was only normal but i ragged yeserday..

Mendi and I walk to the kitchen to get some snacks, and watch the musical “Heathers”. I watch it everytime with Mendi because is funny when you have girl best friends, you do crazy things with the girlies. Anyways, I think Spencer’s band works great. I hope they can go far as the band Lovejoy did...i hope Spencer will be standing in the hall of fame one day, if not...Me and Mendi will manifest for it. And then ill say to myself that we can finally run away.

“holy sugar...i hate Fenno!!” I yell

“say thanks that he is dead now”

“Mendi,I know! But he still haunts my head!”

“ignore it..”

“I’ll try..” suddenly.Mendi hits a pillow at me.

“does he haunt you now?”

“MENDI! THANK YOU <3” I yell and hug her, I love hugging Mendi and Spencer.

[loudlyunladylike]

I just wanna say that Ranboo’s discord currently has a 24/7 pride radio that you can listen in on and I was like “ok sure, let’s hop on, see what we’re listening to rn” and it’s fucking Lovejoy

[cinemaocd]

A Woman's Heart Contains an Ocean of Secrets

So I watched Titanic for the first time tonight, prompted by Lindsay Ellis' video "Is Titanic Good, Actually"?

Not sure I can really answer that question. It's a mixed bag. The action bits, the ship sinking, the iconic scenes all stand up pretty well. I feel like James Cameron is incapable of making a bad action movie. But what happened to him while making The Abyss, a kind of nerdy affair with underwater filming, deep sea exploration and Titanic lore--overtakes his sensibilities and it's just...very long in places. We were an hour in and Rose and Jack had only just met.

The dialog seems cribbed from 1940s Bette Davis melodramas, or even, the sort of cheesy romantic novel that Bingo Little's uncle would have enjoyed: love story about Worthy Poor and Not Completely Evil Rich. People say things like "a woman's hear contains an ocean of secrets" with complete sincerity.

I was impressed by the way in which the framing device managed to hold tension despite the main story arc being a foregone conclusion. It was a pleasant surprise to discover the depth of the cast--a bunch of actors I like turned up in small parts.

David Warner plays the most camp, over the top, gay coded butler/villain since Martin Landau in North by Northwest. What is this guy's motivation? What drives him to risk his own life to step on Cary Grant's fingers handcuff Leondardo DiCaprio to a pole? Forget whether or not Jack could have fit on the door with Rose, I want to parse out Snidley Whiplash...Lemony Snicket, Spicer Lovejoy's backstory. At any rate it's the kind of performance I've come to expect from great British actors playing villains in piss poor American action movies.

Ioan Gruffudd plays a sailor who is the officer in charge of the only lifeboat that returns to rescue survivors and all I could think was THAT'S MY BOY. HORNBLOWER TAUGHT YOU WELL, SIR.

I knew about the framing device-- the 100 y.o. survivor telling the juicy details of her romantic tragic story, I just didn't realize it was all told with the greatest tearful sincerity to the "Game Over, man" guy from Aliens...

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #44 | Terri's Revenge! (Colt, 1976)

Now, most people will find roughies to be entirely distasteful. I mean, it's a genre that uses sexual assault for titillation and entertainment. What right thinking person would enjoy this? But suppose, like me, you've watched enough unpleasant movies, and your brain has been sufficiently rotted by this excessive diet of sleaze, and your previous ideas of taste have been thoroughly eroded. Were you in such a state of mind, you might concede that the genre could be executed well, and you might be willing to appreciate when a movie did something differently or attempted to alleviate some of the more unpleasant aspects of the genre. In that respect, I think Zebedy Colt's Terri's Revenge! is worth a look. Our protagonist Terri Hall is married to man with whom she is deeply in love, only for him to reveal himself as the world's worst husband when he helps his buddy rape her. Traumatized, Hall takes up with a friend who too was raped by her own husband, and the two join forces to take revenge on rapists by giving them a taste of their own medicine.

Now, as far as the genre goes, the movie does deliver the goods, and the sex scenes are full of the requisite close-ups. But at the same time, the camera's gaze feels a little different than usual. Notice how it lovingly captures the bodies of the male performers, instead of highlighting their unsavoury qualities. Even the anatomical close-ups feel a bit less perfunctory. The effect is that the rape scenes feel a bit less mean-spirited than they can be in this genre. I went in with the knowledge that Colt himself was gay, so I perhaps I am reading that into the proceedings more than another viewer might. I concede that as a straight dude my attempts at a queer reading of this movie will likely be extremely dumbassed, but I'm already this far into the paragraph so you're stuck with me now. I think the casting of Hall plays into this skewing of the usual genre dynamic as well. Hall is perhaps less conventionally attractive than the average porn starlet, but I say this not to disparage her appearance (I find her interesting looking), but to note how it changes the film's energy. To the extent that Colt tries to capture her unusual beauty, he emphasizes not her femininity but her wiry musculature and stark features (accented by her high contrast make-up). There's a certain camp element to her presence, enhanced by her line deliveries (you can detect a bit of Helen Lovejoy in the way she says "Leave!"). Like in The Devil Inside Her, her unusual presence complements the film's overall tone, but I appreciated that her character is more proactive this time around.

I wouldn't say Colt entirely subverts the genre, but you can see how he brings it to a different wavelength, less interested in rubbing the audience's nose in the ugly subject matter than finding some off-kilter entertainment in the proceedings. I watched one of Colt's other roughies, The Farmer's Daughters, recently and found that one indifferently filmed and unpleasant, whereas this feels a lot more engaged and maybe a little fun (as far as these things go). Probably the most provocative element here is how Colt juxtaposes consensual and non-consensual sex, not so much to blur the lines and conflate the two as these movies tend to do, but to show how the heroines repurpose their trauma and find a sense of agency in their situation. The movie is perhaps hampered by its modest scale, as Hall's rampage only consists of two sex scenes, although I appreciate Colt's use of a newspaper montage to shortcut to some level of grandeur, and the use of exterior shots of crumbling pre-cleanup New York locations give the whole thing a nice coating of grime. It's also worth noting that Hall's revenge spree consists of female domination sex scenes, which is a nice counterpoint to the male dominant scenes that pervade the genre. (And if I'm being perfectly honest, I found them a lot more enjoyable.) The climax is a doozy, with a medieval Viking porno movie being projected while Hall seduces, only to turn the tables on him with the arrival of her friend (spoiler alert: paddling ensues). Colt matches the escalation of the concurrent sex scenes but contrasts the male dominant dynamic of the projected scene to the female dominant dynamic of Hall's revenge, as if Hall was weaponizing the misogyny of her target against him. There is a further attempt to further complicate the proceedings, but while this doesn't turn full on into Ms. 45, I appreciated the sentiment.

[spookymultimedia]

A Summer to Remember Ch4

CW: internalized homophobia

the f slur and queer used as a slur

[Ned Pov]

My eyes fluttered open to the sound of birds early in the morning. It was still dark outside. I looked down at Maude who was spooned into my arms. I recalled the conversation we had last night. As much as I wanted to hide from it, it was clear that I was homosexual. . .a queer. The word queer made me wince for some reason. I was gay, I was a gay man. It made too much sense. I bit my lip suddenly remembering something that happened in my youth. I remembered being in a group of.  . . secular non-Christian people. It was the early 70s and no one knew where I was. They didn't have to know. It was simple teen curiosity; there was a desire to explore the world that was kept away from me. Again, I always had an innate curiosity to understand. It's impossible for a person to be perfectly free from sin. It was only human nature to have sinful tendencies. What I'm trying to say is I tried marijuana. It wasn't that bad. I actually felt less stressed than I  usually was but let's not focus on that. There was this boy. This boy who was good with the guitar. He had long hair and wore blush from time to time. He called himself bisexual. I remembered how comfortable I had gotten with him one afternoon where we all were hanging out by a river. I remember the smoke and the lesbians who had made love in the shallow water. There were s'mores and homemade tea. By all logic I should have felt scared I was there; I wasn't. 

        I got up close to him by my own will, I remember. He asked me if I had ever kissed a boy before. I hadn't. He asked if I wanted to. Despite the quiet guilt in my soul I nodded. We kissed and kissed again and again until I got a hang of the rhythm. I liked it. The more I reflected on the memory, I remembered how much I enjoyed it. I stared at the window thinking while watching the warm glow of sunrise touch the curtains. I really am gay aren't I?

      I looked down when I felt Maude move and wake up. She stretched her arms and legs and blinked awake. She smiled at me, "Good morning." 

          "Mornin." 

She pressed a small kiss on my cheek and sat up. 

       "You don't have to do that kind of stuff to me if you're not comfortable." 

            "Hm? Oh. .I'm sorry it just felt natural I don't know. Are you uncomfortable?"

    "No, not at all. . .shouldn't I be uncomfortable?"She shrugged. "It doesn't mean anything inherently romantic to me. . .does that sound silly?" 

 I shook my head, "I don't think so. .but I get what you mean."

She rubbed her eyes and played with her hair. 

      "So. . when you said you where gay last night do you mean. .?"

         "That I'm a. . . lesbian? Yeah, yeah I think I'm a lesbian. Sounds right." 

  "That's just lovely Maude."

She frowned, "Is it? I. .thought it wasn't right to be. .-"

     I laid there thinking for a minute, "Is it really wrong?"

        "I'm not sure. . "

"It's just love. I can't see what's so wrong about it. . . Maude I. .I kissed a boy when I was younger." Why did I suddenly feel ashamed? It was just a kiss. Imagine what my uncle would say. He'd probably call me a f*gg*t or something. What would Reverend Lovejoy say? I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

     "Oh? Hm. . . was it nice?"

"Yeah. ." I stared at the wall again.

        "Are you going to tell them?"

"Me?"

    She nodded.

"I'm not sure. You?"

        "I'm too scared."

"I understand." I pet her upper back to comfort her.

[Maude pov]

      After breakfast we followed Tim and Helen led us to the Rock climbing area. There was this gigantic wall in front of us. It had multicolored rubber rocks that I adored. It wasn't my first rodeo with rock climbing. I had climbed with Ned plenty of times. I smiled up at them with anticipation. I had on some white tee from a church event and

jean shorts that reached my knees.

"Now this exercise is supposed to encourage teamwork and support in each other. When this world brings you down you need to have someone to encourage you." Helen explained as Timothy put on a harness. Helen looked at me puzzled as I put on one myself.

        "What? It's not on backwards is it?"

"Oh, no it's just that. . ." She trailed off looking at my harness. She bit her lip lightly for a second before her concentration quickly returned. "Well I was going to have Ned climbing the wall but that's fine that works. . .Maude, are you sure you can?"

      "I've done this many times." I smiled and laughed. 

"Oh. Okay." She said a bit surprised.

Was it just me or did she blush? Was she checking me out. . .? No, no it had to be my imagination. I dismissed any other possibility of why she looked at me like that.

      Once me and Tim were set up we started our climb. I made a speedy start grabbing onto each rock I saw available. It was fairly easy. I made a mental note of the colors. I loved them. Red pink yellow pink orange red blue green red turquoise. I focused on the rocks and moving.

  "You got this Maude!" Ned cheered. I smiled and kept on climbing. I glanced over at Timothy who was only a couple feet from the ground. It seemed I had more upper arm strength than him. I wouldn't have guessed. 

    "I believe in you Timothy! You're doing great. One at a time." Helen cheered, encouraging him. God bless her, she's so sweet. He nodded and slowly found himself a bit higher. At some point I got stuck. 

     "Go left, use your legs!" Ned coached. I nodded and did as he advised. Tim had caught up with me before I made my way ahead of him again. Before I knew it I was at the very top. 

I sat on the wall and smiled as Ned clapped for me. Helen was clapping too. So cute of her. I stared out at the trees and the shimmering lake as Tim was making the rest of his way up. Do I like Helen? I asked myself. Of course I did, she's been my best friend for years. But, Ned was also mine for longer. Yet, something in her sparkled that hadn't in Ned. Every time I had saw her, things we're better. I felt . .giddy. Oh. . .oh. I do love her. I love her more than anything. My chest had ached. Oh God, I love her. 

   "I'm so proud of you!" I looked down at Helen who was cheering at her husband who loved her too. She loved him. She loves him, not me. She's straight, I think. It didn't matter anyways. I sighed. Still I couldn't help but smile. I was in love and couldn't do anything about it. I wonder how Ned was coping with this yearning. I then faced the wall and quickly leaped my way down. With gravity and my emotions taking over me I couldn't help but laugh. I landed on the ground giggling. "That was fun." I snorted and covered my mouth blushing. But then she laughed too. "Oh Maude, that's adorable." She put an arm around my shoulder. Oh God I could kiss her right now. She's so close yet so far from reach. So I just stood there blushing and smiling. Tim slowly but surely came down with a bit of a dizzy stumble. Ned was close and caught him. For a moment the two men were arm in arm. Tim smiled bashfully and a tad embarrassed. 

       "Thanks." 

    Ned stared at him a moment before helping him stand-up straight. "You did great, Reverend." Neddy said smiling. The poor thing. He must feel the same ache in his soul. He has to. 

[Ned pov]

          Later that day I found Timothy by the river. He was just sitting there watching it flow. I had to ask. I needed to know what he thought on the matter. Despite everything, I felt in my soul it was right and only natural. But I just needed to know. You always need to know, it'll be death of you, Ned. I sighed and walked up to him before sitting by him on the grass by the sore. "Hi Reverend."

      "Ned, we're friends, you can just call me Timothy. Really I insist."

         "Of course. Timothy," his name was so intense. Calling him by his name was so tender and intimate it almost felt wrong. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Well, I at least wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter."

         "What is it?" He looked at me slightly exhausted. I felt a pang of guilt. He probably wanted a break from being asked things everyday. It had to be exhausting. But I needed to know. I knew it was important.

    "What do you think about homosexuality?"

                   "Hmm. . ." He hummed and looked out on the lake. "Sexual deviance isn't a good thing."

      "Deviance?" I felt a bit hurt. Was it really cheating if my wife knew how I felt. I mean, it would be if I kissed a married man. I wanted to kiss a married man. Am I lusting? Is this sin? The homosexuality couldn't be though. "Is it really deviance??"

    Tim paused to think again. "Well. Hm. There are some verses-"

            "I know, I've heard about them. But I don't think they're talking about homosexuality. It could be just an error. It could be referring to a completely different sin. But if you don't mind my boldness Reverend, I really don't think it's a sin at all."

     He nodded slowly, pensive. 

"There are verses that have forbidden the consumption of some meats that were unsafe at the time. . .hmm. That's not a sin at all anymore. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding. Prophets are still human after all." He stared at the water. "I suppose homosexuality isn't so bad. Why, it's not bad at all. I mean everyone feels sexuality . . .right?" He looked a bit confused. I wasn't sure why. Was he gay? No. . . was he?

          "I believe so."

He stared at the water thinking, I assume. I looked at those hands that tempted me. Guilt was burning me alive. 

      "Timothy I've been sinning!"

He looked at me startled at my outburst. 

      "Ned. . Ned, why are you asking me about this? Is. .this why you and Maude are having issues? Are you gay?"

I froze.

        "Ned you said it yourself and I agree, I don't think homosexuality is a legit sin."

"No. I mean, no that's not the issue." I felt my eyes water. 

"Ned. ."

        "I've been lusting after a married man! That's a sin!"

       "Ned. . .are you talking about me? Do you like me that way?" His eyes were wide. 

       "I do." I started to cry. 

"Why are you crying?"

         I looked at him like he was absurd. 

       "It's lusting!"

"Eh, well. You're not acting on it. I'm sure the Lord understands your intentions and will forgive them."

     I shrugged, "I understand if you're uncomfortable. ."

         "Not really. Don't worry about it."

"I just don't want to ruin anything."

          "I understand."

"How long have you felt like this?"

                   "I . .I don't know. Maybe I was born like this." 

      "Born??" He looked confused.

"Well not literally. I mean. I've just always liked men." I rubbed my arm anxiously. I was still trying to make peace with myself.

     Timothy stared at the ground, his eyes furrowed.

 "Like them?"

           "Yeah. Like I've just always wanted to.  . .kiss them and stuff. You know?"

 He slowly shook his head looking a bit lost.

   "I don't understand."

I suddenly felt sick. Did he think my attraction was that weird?

       "It's just the same feeling that you get  with women."

    He fiddled with his hands. He looked really uncomfortable.

    "What's wrong? Is it me?"

"No it's not you.  You're fine Ned I promise. I'm glad you decided to come to me about this." He closed his eyes and bit at his finger gingerly. I had seen him do this a couple times. It was usually when he got stressed or something. "Does Maude know?"

"Yeah. She took it well." 

        "Good." He stood up and walked off.

[carrigerpigeon]

On THE ENFORCER ENIGMA

Okay, y’all.

We need to talk about The Enforcer Enigma because I have many, many problems with it.

I’ve been sitting on my feelings for this book for a month or so, after I got my ARC of it and I read it. It’s been hard to decide what I was going to say, how I was going to approach this. Like I’ve said before, my relationship with Gail exists in a liminal space between fan and friend, and is even more complicated than that.

I’ve decided, as both a fan AND friend, that I can’t ignore the problems in this book.

Which is where this post comes from.

When I first I heard it was dealing with the Selkie mob I was excited, because I loved how ridiculous they were in the short story and I think the concept is gloriously ludicrous. But this book overall felt very contrived, very basic, and very tone deaf in a racist way. The gay boys felt objectified and cookie cutter, and the racist treatment of Judd made me very, very upset.

I’m going to get to my issues with the treatment of Judd, as best as I can as a white person with a lot to learn, but I want to start with something I am able to speak better on, and that’s the gay characters in this book.

So let’s get into it. Spoilers, obviously, and lots of talk about systematic racism and homophobia, antiblackness, stereotypes, etc.

(Also, Gail, since you follow me on this blog and I know you’ll probably see this—READ THE WHOLE THING. Think about it. And then if you’d like to talk about it, you know how to contact me.)

This is going behind a cut, not because of the content but because it’s almost 6 pages long.

The Gay Boys

Okay. Look.

I love a catty, fabulous gay boy as much as the next queer. They have a space and a place in our community. But not EVERY gay man is like this IRL. Meanwhile, in SAS, it feels like every gay male character (or close to) in this series is a waspy, catty, faaaabulous gay. Isaac, Marvin, Max, Trick, even to some extent Alec and Bryan…they’re just all the exhausting waspy, catty, fabulous gay boy that we see exhibited heavily on Drag Race and other mainstream platforms.

And like. I get it. Colin is repressed and gay and wants to be a fabulous twink. That’s fine. But it just felt like he was slipping into the stereotype all the other gay male characters inhabit in these books, and that’s really, really exhausting.

Also, I am from the East Coast, where according to my West Coast friends we apparently grow gay boys differently. I can’t say with any accuracy how much of this is true. BUT MOST OF THESE GAY BOYS ARE FROM THE EAST COAST. They lived in Boston before moving to California. So why are they like this?

It feeds into this larger trend I’ve seen in Gail’s word with fabulous, savage gay boys—from Akeldama and all his drones, to Biffy, and even Lyall. Seen over the spread, it’s harder to sweep it away as just a “modern storyline” thing or a “California storyline” thing. It’s a trend, one which I find very uncomfortable as a queer person.

There is a place and space for Queer people to take back the tropes and stereotypes that have been used against us and write them our own way. But what I’ve seen as a longtime reader isn’t that. What I seem is lazy stereotyping and an overarching stereotype and characterization that feed into the larger the ways I feel gay men are objectified by female authors (no matter how queer the author is).

Many more people have covered this topic better than I, but it explains why I’ve felt so uneasy about this series from the get go. The sex and the relationships in these books don’t feel real—it feels objectifying. There’s lots of talk about big and strong sexy, muscle-y men but very little else. And while there is something to say about having a partner who thinks you’re sexy—that’s important, and I want everyone to have that…. this isn’t that.

These are muscle-y, strong, sassy gay men for cis white women to coo over on Facebook and feel good about. But to me, a real life nonbinary queer person, I feel uneasy and frankly uncomfortable with the objectification of them.

And since we’re talking about queer representation, after having a decent wlw spread in the Parasolverse there are two WLW (specifically lesbians) in SAS (Trickle and Pepper) and they (a) barely get any screen time and (b) feel stereotypical to me. And they are side characters, so I get it, but seriously?

And also while we’re on queer representation, there’s Mana, aka Manifest Destiny. Mana is the drag queen and arguable trans woman* who started off alright BUT was named after the colonization and violent taking of Native and Indigenous people’s lands and wrapped up in patriotism. Gail has said she made a mistake, that she meant her name to be Mana From Heaven, and that this would be addressed in the upcoming book (aka The Enforcer Engima).

It was not.

There is talk, from what I understand, this issue will be addresses in the upcoming short story about Mana and Lovejoy. But there are several throwaway lines about Mana in this book, her work in LA and her becoming a drag queen superstar (I guess akin to RuPaul?). So why wasn’t her name change discussed or even mentioned there?

[*Sidebar: Mana has been quoted as saying, “I suppose I should be transgender, under modern parlance. But I like drag queen. It suits me. I like the fabric roughness of drag, and the royalty of queen. It's a nice change to have the luxury of choosing one's own semantics, if not one's own situation." But whenever she appears, it seems she’s always in face/wearing false eyelashes/wearing women’s clothing.

I’m not going to police Mana’s trans experience because gender is a spectrum, and I as someone under the trans umbrella know that. But it feels…weird and off to me.]

Regardless of my sidebar, the name she was supposed to have, Manna from Heaven is…also sort of problematic? If I understand the reference correctly, it refers to the Biblical story of the food that God miraculously provided to the Israelites as they wandered in the wilderness. It means as a phrase the coming of unexpected benefit or assistance, especially when that benefit/assistance comes at the time when it is needed most. Which is what Mana is for the pack—she lets them live in her apartment in Book 1, she swoops in to save the day in Book 2. But it feels…very white and more than a little gross to name a character with Chinese and Japanese ancestry after something from the Bible.

And then there’s Judd.

Oh, Judd.

I really wanted to like Judd. The premise of his character was interesting, a Black, Pre-Saturation werewolf shifter, and I liked his cameos in the other books. But then we got a book about him, and it all fell apart.

Judd is a gay Black character, pre-Saturation, meaning he’s old as hell (from the Parasolverse time). He is objectified like the other gay boys, and there’s a lot of talk about how hard and strong his muscles and how sexy he is. He’s depicted on the cover this way.

And that’s…fine I guess, but gay Black men frequently have their bodies objectified as Black and muscley and strong. He’s also a pack Enforcer, so he’s depicted as not very smart and very violent. All of those are racist stereotypes that Black men deal with constantly, and they are racist stereotypes and tropes that are constantly hurled at Black men by the system and by society.

Additionly, Judd, the only Black member of the pack, is the only werewolf in the series to carry a gun.

A Black man. Is the only member. To carry a gun.

Yeah.

It gets worse.

There is mention of Judd’s backstory—very heavy inferences to Phineas/Soap (whose problematic naming convention and descriptors have been talked about especially by jhenne-bean ) being his mentor until he gets kicked out of Sidheag’s pack—but it falls very flat. I understand not wanting to write too much history of a Black character as a white writer, especially after tenuously connecting that history to the traditionally published series you’re Not Connected SAS To Not At All….

But.

Judd is over 150 years old.

He lived through some of America and Canada's worst racial discrimination, discrimination which would have affected him and his habitus and the way he moves through the world. He’s a gay Black man, and his gayness and his Blackness does not appear to affect how he interacts with the world at all. The police are called at the beginning and he’s OKAY ABOUT IT? AS A BLACK MAN? He basically says, “Thank God, the cops are here.”

You had a BLACK MALE CHARACTER SAY THAT when we’ve had a nationwide conversation since 2013, a conversation that has been reignited in the past three months?

Like????

And I was willing—perhaps whitely and naively—to give Gail the benefit of the doubt with Soap/Phineas. E&E was written in 2011, before Black Lives Matter was founded, before we began to have this nationwide reckoning with how Black and brown folks are treated systematically and especially by police violence. These conversations were definitely being had in 2011, but they were seen as fringe discussions and not necessarily part of the mainstream narrative as it is today.

However. It’s not 2011. It’s 2020.

It’s been 7 years since BLM was founded, and there have been countless discussions happening about racism and systematic issues in publishing and with white writers writing Black characters since that point.

Soap/Phineas has been mentioned or has cameo’d in The Custard Protocol and in Meat Cute. There’s been no conversation about his name or the way he has been described  And both he and Judd fall into the Caring-POC-Partner trope which has been discussed very heavily in romance circles and in ways I am not necessarily equipped to discuss in this post. But I will link to this post for everyone to read: https://medium.com/@ashiamonetb/queer-love-interests-of-color-and-the-white-gaze-8928b7b5e6ad

It’s 2020. These conversations have been being had, quite fervently, for many years, so there’s absolutely no excuse with how Judd is approached or treated in this book.

And here’s the CRUX of all this.

This book isn’t even really about Judd.

It’s about Colin.

Even though Judd is on the cover of the book, in all of his objectified Black body goodness, the plot of the story is about Colin. It’s very much entrenched in Colin’s issues with his family and his identity. Judd is there to take care of Colin and ~guide~ him and ~teach~ him things. To protect him. To be sexy to him.

See the medium article above. See the conversation about objectification above.

So if this book is SO MUCH ABOUT COLIN, why is Judd on the cover?

Why is Judd naked and glistening and Black on the cover of the story about the trials and tribulations of a white twink?

…Do I really have to say it? Maybe I do. It’s racist.

It might not be intended that way, but it is.

And look. There were parts of this book that I found enjoyable. I am still a fan of Gail’s wit and the way she writes. I’m a sucker for the found family trope, which all of these books have, and I really like Trick and Marvin. I’ve been where Colin is. I’ve fucked around with my gender presentation and been scared to out and fabulous or be perceived a certain way because I present a certain way.

But I’m really frustrated and frankly ANGRY with the racist stereotypes and gay stereotypes present in this book. It doesn’t feel like this was sensitivity read at all, by anyone. The book feels like a culmination of racist and homophobic trends that make me feel that Gail hasn’t been paying attention or listening to the cultural reckoning happening nationwide or in publishing.

And yes, there is a lot of “don’t idolize authors” talk, but here’s the thing.

Gail isn’t some anonymous author to me, someone I can just cancel and be done with.

Gail is a mentor to me. We’ve hung out at multiple cons, shot the shit about publishing, and talked about queer shit together with. We aren’t close, but she’s a friend (liminal space, etc). She gets a Christmas card from me every year, she asks after my partner when we chat. We’ve been in each other’s orbits for TEN YEARS.

I have this entire sideblog dedicated to her books, for fucks sake.

So when I read shit like this, it makes me upset. This book is a pile of microaggressions that stacked into a macroagression. It’s insensitive, definitely hurtful, and feels exceptionally tone deaf (AT BEST) to have written and released this book.

She has people in her inner circle who could have caught this if we’d been allowed to read it before hand, if we’d been a part of the beta process. But we weren’t. And it shows.

Gail, this is a message directly for you: You talk a lot about supporting people. You reblog lots of #ownvoices work and have been plugging a lot of #ownvoices fiction. I know (or at least hope) you’re a good person.

SO WHAT HAPPENED?

Why is this book such a disaster?

Have you been listening at all?

And I get it, we all have things to learn and things to unlearn. As white ally, and as a member of the queer community, as someone in your inner circle and as a friend (liminal space!), I get it.

I’m also saying this isn’t ok.

This book that you’ve written is not okay. Not even a little bit.

Here’s the thing: you can fix it (or you can try). It’s gonna be hard and require difficult conversations and actions, but you can.

If you want to know more, if you want to talk: you know how to contact me. I’ll give you my number. We can email, Skype, Zoom, text, call, whatever. I know I’m not the only member of the Pigeons that feels this way. You have people here to help.

As for everyone else:

As might be apparent I have…a lot of feelings right now. I’ve loved these books for so long, made a friend (liminal space!) with the author through social media. Genevieve Lefoux, and Sidheag, and Aggie, and lots of other characters mean a lot to me. Gail’s books have helped me through hard times and hard places, and she’s influenced a lot of whom I am as a writer.

But right now having this blog, dedicated to all these books with this massive subthread of racism and stereotypes, feels…not great.

And I don’t know if I can continue to support Gail and continue to be a fan (and a friend) if she keeps up with this.

[sont]

hmmmmmm okay okay okag all the popular mgs ships i gues

ALL???? omg bitch i know like 3 and theyre all gay😭

(Also im sorry i have no idea how to add a cut on mobile so this is gonna be long as hell IM SORRY)

Lovejoy- like.... what can i say... the BEST ship like its not even a fucking ship its canon dr IS a lesbian like its canon shes a lesbian and in love with the boss.. i just love how strangelove just never shuts up about her in all her recordings and the fact that she was like i miss her so fucking much im gonna make a robot with her personality and that robot was like Im gonna save humanity and she walks into the ocean and strangelove had to watch a few million dollars sink. Also the fact that in the tpp recording she talks about her before she dies is......i cant do it i cant fucking believe kojima made me listen to that!!!

Snotacon- ICONIC successor to lovejoy . huge gay🤝lesbian solidarity between the 2. I cant say anything bad about this because its so fucking iconic like they literally had a daughter and raised her toghether I wish Hal's mom was alive to see that he inherited her homosexual genes and now hes happily married to snake😭 honestly not much to say other than im glad even the gamers agree that snake is gay with otacon.

Bosselot- you know EXACTLY how i feel about this one. I hate it so much that the mere MENTION of it is gonna make me want to attack and kill you😡😡😡😡 i fucking hate ocelot i hate his little gay walk that pisses me off i hate that hes so madly in love with a man who hasnt wiped his ass once in his life that hed turn on everyone hes ever worked with (AND HE WORKS W FUCKING EVERYONE) just so he can be like tehehe! Im gay :3c GRRRR IM GONNA BITE HIM.

Bbkaz- i fucking feel like a husk when i think this about this one because i hate big bowss so fucking much i cant believe kaz was in love woth him and trusted him and BOOM just fucking leaves him!!!!! WHAT WAS THE REASON!!! WHAT WAS THE REASON!! absolutely dissapointed in kaz having 1 good friend and its his fucking boss who he has a crush on... like .what if he dies🤦‍♀️ also love how you can just have a date with kaz in pw and fuck him on the beach like imagine u did all that w a man and he fucking leaves you for a russian twink.

Liquidmantis- absolutely hilarious i love how mantis was like this guys vibes are so fucking rancid im gonna be his friend and like 20 years later hes in shadow moses waiting for his turn to do evil things so snake because eli doesnt like him.

Meryl x snake- the straight gamer boy ship. Love how by the 4th game they make snake marry a man and stick meryl with johnny as a fuck you to all gamer men.

[hexthelore]

Famously Haunted: The Père Lachaise Cemetery

(photo by julia & keld)

The Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris, France is one of the most famous cemeteries in the world, with several million visitors every year. The cemetery is even still open to receiving new permanent occupants. However, the cemetery only accepts those who died in the capital city or who lived there, and even then there’s a long waiting list; perhaps because it has been a famous cemetery for as long as it has existed. When the cemetery first opened in the early 1800’s, it started out with bodies of well known people moved there. A long history and a lot of foot traffic has left the place with a history of hauntings, and even a bizarre hoax.

But this is just why the hauntings are known. I believe the reason that it is haunted in the first place is not simply because it’s a resting place of the dead. The dead in this cemetery are particularly restless, as they are often moved around. This started with the bodies of famous people being moved to Père Lachaise to bring acclaim to the cemetery, but eventually evolved. Now that it has gained popularity and has become more crowded, some bodies get moved around inside the cemetery grounds to increase space. Family members' remains are regularly combined into the same graves. Sometimes maseuloems will house dozens of members of the same family line, with graves that can be either combined or separated by only a few inches. Shelves are even inserted to help stack as many bodies as they can fit. 

The habit of reopening graves extends past just adding more family members to the same grave or mausoleum. Recently, the Père Lachaise Cemetery has offered up their eternal resting places to lease. It is standard for the cemetery to have a 30 year lease on a grave, and if the lease is not renewed by the surviving family, the body is dug up. The so-called abandoned remains are boxed up and labeled and sent to the Aux Morts Ossuary, which is still within the Père Lachaise Cemetery. It isn’t hard to imagine why the spirits here may be so active. 

While the common experience of living visitors to the Père Lachaise Cemetery is an unsettling, haunted feeling, it is not just haunted in concept. There are a few ghosts that have been seen more than once, and there’s a legend that, although it is definitively a hoax, leaves people feeling a little more than strange about the cemetery. 

Probably the most popular ghost of the Père Lachaise Cemetery is that of rockstar Jim Morrison, lead singer of The Doors. He went to Paris in 1971, attempting to get clean and reconnect with himself in the beautiful city. However, this trip turned tragic when he died on July 3rd. While the police report claims that his death was heart failure while at home, it is commonly believed that he overdosed because of the suspicious circumstances of the official report. If you’re interested in reading further on Jim Morrison’s time in Paris and the circumstances of his death, you can check out this article on it here. The struggle Morrison was going through before his death with his problems with drugs, alcohol and fame and the circumstances of his death itself may have led to his spirit being particularly restless, leading to sightings of his ghost at his grave. While there are plenty of mentions from people of feeling or seeing his presence when they visit his grave, the time that really led to the belief that he haunts Père Lachaise was Brett Meisner’s visit to Morrison’s grave in 1997.

(photo from paris info website)

Brett Meisner is a rock historian, and in 1997 when he visited Jim Morrison’s resting place, he took a photo that he later felt has left a negative impact. The photo shows Meisner next to Morrison’s grave, and in the background of the image there is a human figure that has no reason to be there. It genuinely appears to be the ghost of Jim Morrison, chest bare and arms outstretched. The photo can be found with a quick Google search, but due to superstition of the photo causing a negative reaction on the people who view it, I don’t feel comfortable putting it here. Mesiner didn’t realize how astounding the image was until years later, in 2002, when he had the image authenticated. Mesiner has said since that he wishes he didn’t have the photo; that he feels it washed a negative energy over his life and has led to problems in his personal life. Not only this, but fans of Morrison who have seen the image have told Meisner that they’ve had an uneasy feeling since viewing the image, or have felt that Morrison haunts them. It’s possible that Morrison haunts not only the Père Lachaise Cemetery, but haunts through the image of his ghost as well. Morrison himself believed in ghosts, and with him dying young and possibly dying due to an overdose, it’s possible that his spirit still lingers.

Jim Morrison isn’t the only famous ghost, though. Aldolphe Theirs, a prime minister of Paris from the 19th century, is said to haunt his grave at Père Lachaise. While there are no specific first-person accounts that I could find of Theirs spooking anyone, it is generally claimed that Theirs tugs on people's clothes when they get a little too close to his tomb. This may be Theirs wanting people to keep their distance from his mausoleum, or it may just be a way of him making himself known. 

The other main haunting of the Père Lachaise Cemetery is that of author Marcel Proust. It was hard to find specific actions of his hauntings, which leads me to believe that it stems from a general energy of sadness that comes from his grave. It is said that he haunts the cemetery every night in a search for his lost love. It isn’t clear who his lost love is specifically, but it is thought that they are buried in another cemetery, leaving Proust searching for his lost love forever. Considering that Proust was a closeted gay man, it is likely that this eternal search for his lost love is symbolic of the struggle with relationships he may have had in life, and the feeling of never being truly able to come together.

Although this one is not a haunting, the peculiar hoax that occured about Élisabeth Demidoff’s mausoleum deserves to be mentioned. A Russian Countess, Élisabeth Alexandrovna de Demidoff spent her last few years in Paris, and ultimately died there in 1818 at the age of 39. However, it wasn’t until 75 years later that her grave at Père Lachaise stood out amongst those laid to rest there. A posting went into papers in many places, but it seems to have primarily occurred in the United States, which has the earliest dated edition on the Chicago Daily Tribune in 1893. The posting claims that Russian Countess (sometimes Princess) Élisabeth Demidoff died only five years previous, rather than nearly a century before, and lays out a challenge to earn 5,000,000 francs: stay one whole year in her mausoleum, alone. Descriptively, it says that the person will receive no visitors, and won’t even be allowed to speak to the person that brings them food once per day. Their only activities - aside from staring at the Countess’s coffin - would be to read by the candlelight that is casted beside her (clear) coffin, and to take an hour’s stroll around the cemetery in the late evening or early morning, after the cemetery gates have been shut, thus not a living soul would be in sight. It seems the main purpose is to have this person be her watcher; there were descriptions of her mausoleum being covered in mirrors, so that anyway her watcher might look, their eyes would fall upon her preserved corpse. The article makes note that those who attempted to stay were not able to last long. Specifically, they were driven mad by not just their loneliness, but also haunting and mysterious sounds, shadows, touches, etc. 

(photo by Guilhem Vellut)

While no such will ever existed, the public did fall for the peculiar prank. Following the various articles depicting this bewildering proposition, articles were released explaining the nonsense of it all. They described Paris officials and those in charge of Père Lachaise receiving letters upon letters from people across the world, although especially in America, requesting to be given the opportunity to stay in the Countess’s mausoleum and win the 5,000,000 francs. Soldiers were especially known to apply, stating how they’d spent long periods of time with little to not contact with people while vigilant in the dark. Although no real damage was done, it definitely irritated the Parisian officials. Additionally, perhaps in an attempt to continue the legend, there has since been lore about Demidoff being a vampire. This appears to only be due to symbols and inscriptions that aren’t even very identifiable on the mausoleum, and people claim the supposed symbols point to vampirism. I don’t imagine that this is something anyone believes in; rather it’s just embellishment on what is already at its base an already known lie. 

Whether or not the Père Lachaise Cemetery is truly haunted, the cemetery is itself a haunting experience for visitors. The fact that the graveyard still actively takes in new residents, but that many of them have been or may be moved around, gives credence to a dark energy in the cemetery. However, even its tales of haunts aren’t too negative or distinct, which leads me to believe that Père Lachaise is more haunted in spirit than in anything truly tangible. Of course, visitors of the cemetery must decide for themselves. Its residents are the only ones who will know for sure.

sources: Amy’s Crypt (1) (2) - Bess Lovejoy - Chris Woodyard - Daniel Kreps - Discover Walks - Find A Grave - Marilyn Brouwer - Wikipedia