the fact that iron bull opens his recruitment conversation with pretending he doesn't quite remember the name of the the inquisition's ambassador. Jose-what's-her-name-again. he's just a big dumb jock no thoughts head empty mercenary who likes fighting and drinking don't worry about lil old me inquisitor! I'll hit things for you if you'd like as long as you pay me! ],) and then right after he reveals he's a spy he drops that he knows not only the name of your spymaster and how she operates but also her haircolour. (but like in a safely bro-y way tho! make that fighting and drinking and fucking! I'll be useful to you but in a real meathead non-threatening kind of way I'll be too busy bedding chantry sisters to do any real harm ],) continue to not worry about lil old me inquisitor!)
god bull you're so multidimensionally and fine-tunedly full of shit I love you so much fhdksah
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Obsessed with the way Evadne's relationship with Apollo is described. Obsessed with the way Apollo was especially gentle with her because she was sheltered, hidden away and hadn't had any sort of experience with love prior to Apollo (and due to it being described as her 'first learning Aphrodite's joy' through Apollo', it was probably her first time even being attracted to someone). Obsessed with the way when she runs away, she stops in a violet patch to give birth. Y'know, violets, very famously the flower so strongly associated with Aphrodite that they were used in love potions? Those violets. Obsessed with the way that when Apollo realised his lover was going to have to deliver their child alone, he sent BOTH the goddess of childbirth and ALL THREE OF THE FATES to help and support her. Obsessed with the way that Apollo sends snakes to feed his baby honey straight from their fangs because Evadne abandons their son out of straight primal fear when her stepfather finds her and how the description of that honey is 'sweet venom' [ἰός] of the bees and is DEFINITELY a poetic pair/pun with [ἴον] aka violets and that every single thing about this relationship, conception and birth is a complete and utter fairytale down to Evadne's insanely overprotective stepfather having an immediate change of heart when he learned Evadne's child was an actual, legitimate Son of Apollo and the babe, after being cared for by his dad's honey-fanged snake buddies, was found perfectly healthy five days later swaddled in a blanket of violets (y'know the flowers so strongly associated with Aphrodite that they were used for lo-) and they called him Iamus aka Boy of the Violets which is AAAAAARRRR I AM GNAWING AT MY ENCLOSURE
Iamus was made of love. Everything about him was surrounded by deep and profound love and like, let's not even talk about his whole Thing of when he came of age and was like "I need to find out what my purpose is" and he literally had a Disney Protagonist moment where he ran out into the wilds and was like "Father!! Grandfather!! Tell me what I'm supposed to doooo!!" and then APOLLO FUCKING ANSWERED AND LED HIM TO ONE HIS TEMPLES ENTIRELY BY TALKING WITH IAMUS AND LETTING HIM FOLLOW HIS VOICE FOR THE WHOLE JOURNEY LIKE -
What do y'all know about the kind of SSS tier romantic escapades Apollo had fr?
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(This whole thing is based off the theory that Michael is still alive in Security Breach, which is hilarious imo)
A FNaF game where you are the night guard in the Pizzaplex, and the antagonist is Michael Afton. He’s not trying to kill you or anything, you just have opposite goals (You like the animatronics and the Fazbear brand, he does not). He’s also trying to get you to quit or get fired.
Things are going wrong. Stuff is being stolen and vandalized. The animatronics are being tampered with, sometimes they’re vandalized too. Things never stay how you left them. You are starting to feel like someone has broken in, which is especially bad, because you’re a security guard. It’s your whole job to keep people out.
Your character will occasionally say how bad it smells in the room. Sometimes you remark that you’re being watched. There’s sometimes footsteps or scuffling noises in the background. If you look close enough in certain rooms, you can see the faint outline of a guy or two white dots in the darkness around the light from your flashlight. But you can’t find the source of whatever this is (he’s gotten too good at hiding).
Your character will become more aware that someone really is there throughout the game. You go from asking “Hello? Is someone here?” When something strange happens to saying “I know you did this!” To the darkness because you know he’s there. You can get more hostile towards him, if you’d like, calling him a twat or whatever. You could be nice to him, too. It doesn’t stop him, when you’re nice, because he seems to have some sort of goal (you couldn’t begin to guess what) but it’s not like he’s doing that much damage and he makes your job a little bit more fun.
You never see him, though. Other than the occasional glimpse of movement in the shadows or your flashlight’s glow reflecting off his eyes (that must be what it is, right?) he stays silent and hidden. That’s why you feel you can’t tell anyone, he’s clearly good at hiding and they wouldn’t find him. Plus, he’s annoying, but he doesn’t seem that harmful. (And maybe the darkness is just making you crazy. Maybe there really is nobody there)
But things are definitely going awry. For one, the animatronics are freaking out. They’re weird, almost hostile, towards you. The staffbots follow you around but don’t speak or offer you things, and it freaks you out a little (you can fight them, if you’d like, though it’s not really a fight and more just you beating them up. You could also try and incapacitate them or just try to ignore them). The Glamrocks are scary too, obviously. They chase you, grab you and jumpscare you. (One time though, it seems like one of them is actually going to kill you. It throws you to the floor and you cover your face with your hands. But instead of feeling the impact, there’s a strange noise. You open your eyes to see it incapacitated, and you can hear footsteps shuffling away. Huh.) Even Helpy begins demanding you quit, sometimes being friendly, “No amount of money is worth doing this job,” sometimes he’s meaner, “You’re going to quit or you’re going to die.” Whoever is in the shadows is definitely messing with them in some way.
One night, Helpy tells you, “Sorry, you are going to get fired.” And that night is horrible. Shit is breaking all the time, and the Glamrocks and Staffbots are all over the place, either destroyed or with completely ruined AI. You can’t stop it (maybe you should have been [nicer/meaner] to whoever is doing this) all you can do is try and undo as much damage as possible and tell whoever is there that you really need this job. He doesn’t listen.
When 6am rolls around, your boss arrives and you’re presented with a pink slip. He tells you that your behavior is unacceptable. You either made all this mess yourself or allowed someone else to do it and neglected your job. You’ve been nothing but unprofessional for the duration of your employment, anyway. The animatronics have clearly been tamped with by someone with some knowledge of how they work, not just some random vandal. You must have been messing with them for a while to learn how they worked and took it too far. And, adding insult to injury, tells you that you make every room you’re in smell like death. You don’t have anything to say to defend yourself, you definitely can’t blame a person hiding in the darkness who you didn’t report before and have never fully seen, so you just leave.
Bonus: Here’s an image I made last night at like 2am. It’s just one of the SB rooms but I make it darker and added the flashlight and some other things.
Anyway, sorry this post got so long and turned sort of into fanfiction. I had fun writing it, though. I was just thinking about the fact that Michael might still be kicking in Security Breach (again, hilarious. Also why is he barefoot? Put shoes on, Jesus Christ) and was like “Well, what if you had to play against him?” Because Michael making the lives of night guards harder is very ironic, even if he has good intentions. And it spiraled and turned into this. If you made it this far, wow thanks for reading <3
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