#what he's saying! personally i agree that the bond between michael and adam coming out of the cage IS platonic. i think 15x19 is when it

[adammilligan]

jabel talking about how he genuinely loved playing michael and adam together and the ideas that he brought regarding them in 15x08 weren’t just his own but also the ideas of the fans because of all the time he spent doing cons where people would ask him about what he thought michael and adam were getting up to in the cage and how that sort of fed into how he portrayed them when he finally came back to the show. i love that

[ckneal]

About a month ago, I had a fairly random revelation that Lilith was to Lucifer what Adam was to Michael. Not in the sense that she was ever his vessel, as all humans capable of serving that role are purportedly descended from Adam and Eve, and, while it’s never specifically confirmed to be true for the Supernatural universe, most lore surrounding Lilith sets her up as being too old for that.

And I also don’t necessarily mean that Lucifer and Lilith were in love—Lucifer is too egotistical and arrogant for me, personally, to believe he’s capable of a true romantic bond, and it is twice stated that he lost his virginity to Kelly Kline, in settings that leant themselves toward his credibility on this subject (musing aloud to an uncomprehending Kelly in the privacy of their bedroom, and awkwardly grappling for something to say in his first unplanned meeting with Jack, respectively)—leading me to believe that the recognizable sleazy substitute for love (lust) was not present between these two either. But, I do think that there was a connection there, and I do find myself curious about it.

After all, Lilith was willing to die to set Lucifer free from the cage. And yes, I am aware that she had made a deal with Michael to help set off the apocalypse, and she was obligated to carry out her part, but has anyone ever wondered what exactly Lilith got out of the bargain? She’s not exactly written like Eve, from season 6. She is not mothering toward demonkind. I can’t see her sharing Michael’s motivation to bring God back. The one who stood to benefit from her sacrifice, was, in fact, Lucifer. (And Michael, obviously.)

I think that the bond Lilith and Lucifer formed was a bit similar to what Adam and Michael had, in that it came from a lack of choice. I firmly believe that Lilith and Lucifer spent a decent amount of time together in Hell, just the two of them. Likely for a much longer period of time than Michael and Adam did in the cage. We don’t know exactly when Lucifer made Lilith, but we do know that he was out and moving around for awhile after the apple incident that Gadreel was incarcerated for—after all, Cain was a grown man when he caught Lucifer circling Abel and agreed to take the Mark. And bible ages are a little strange, but let’s say that that’s a good couple of decades in earth time. That’s much longer in Hell. Assuming that Lilith was turned prior to Cain, that’s a long time with Lucifer and Lilith being the only two occupants of Hell. (Well, except for Ramsey and her hellpuppies; remember she was pregnant when Lucifer saved her from extinction.)

And I wonder if in that time, the two of them could have developed a begrudging sort of friendship? Just from the forced proximity—Michael was clearly capable of decimating Lilith on sight if she went back to earth, and there weren’t exactly a lot of humans wondering around that early on in the species to provide her with cover—not to mention a meatsuit. She was pretty much stuck there, while Lucifer was presumably laying low, while he got his schemes together. Setting up the horsemen, binding Death, somehow getting and hiding the demon tablet, creating the Princes of Hell, and such. . .Just a lot of stuff, and where he used to have a vast multitude of siblings to talk to, he now just had this snarky little corrupted human soul, and I think—I think—they became friends.

And Lucifer considers this to be the filthiest thing that he’s ever done—on par with the most torrid, disgusting affair that anyone has ever had, and he still hates everything about it to this day. That’s why Lucifer never once talks about Lilith. He is nauseated by the fact that they were the original frenemies, completely disgusted and powerless to resist their intense conversational chemistry, and if they saw each other tomorrow there’s a tiny part of him that will still light up because no one has ever been more thoroughly on his level.

And it’s fucking mutual. If they saw each other tomorrow, they would exchange the most vehement of insults, maybe even physically attack one another, shouting their hatred at full volume—and then a few hours later be spotted at a coffee shop, passionately talking trash on Sam Winchester, and set terrible, terrible plans in motion that will plague Sammy’s life for the next several years. When they part ways, they would both feel intensely dirty, telling themselves that this will never happen again—but Lucifer has never been one to resist temptation, and at 3am finds himself sending that text message he knows he’ll regret later. . . “So what are your thoughts on Dean? ;)” And off they go again, all night long.

And that’s why Lilith was willing to lay down her life to set Lucifer free. And it’s also why she had her moment of doubt, when she nearly got Sam to agree to that demon deal. She had a moment of realizing that she was about to die for an asshole she doesn’t even like.

I personally like to think that Michael was the archangel who nearly came blasting in to defend Chuck that night, when Dean pulled the plug on the deal Sam was about to make (and before you try to tell me that wasn’t a real deal because Lilith was planning a trap—rewatch that scene, Sam was the one who played dirty by reaching for the demon-killing knife; Lilith was busy eyeing his crotch through his jeans and feeling up his chest). After Lilith smoked out of her meatsuit, I like to think that Michael followed her and gave a kind of prep talk, telling her that it’s important that they remember their motivations, shameful though they might be

At which point, Lilith just bursts into tears, crying, “Oh god, you’re right. . .He’s my best friend—how did this happen? How did this—Oh god, oh god, oh god, I’m going to be sick!”

Lilith sobs into Michael’s wings, while Michael is just sort of stuck standing there, because Lilith is gripping one of his four heads with both hands as she cries, while the other three are looking around for help, intensely confused because he, of course, was talking about bringing God back, and now he has no idea what to do to get out of this uncomfortable social situation that he does not understand.

And thinking about Lucifer and Lilith and Michael and Adam as parallels, it gets me asking these questions about how things would go if the roles were reversed. Would Adam willing lay down his life to free Michael from the cage? As a fanfiction writer, I enjoy the idea of saying yes.

In fact, I’m a little enamored with the idea of a parallel world where everything is flipped. Where it’s Michael in the box, and Adam running around breaking seals, Adam on that final, fateful night—after having had his moment of doubt in which he’d lured Ramiel into a secluded spot and offered to stand down and nearly banged Ramiel’s brains out in the bargain—but that’s all past, and now he’s firm in his resolve. Adam standing in front of a mirror—but instead of the white gown that Lilith wore, Adam’s in a black suit, dressed as if it were his wedding day, though he’ll never see his groom. And Raphael appearing at his elbow, looking concerned—instead of some random follower of Lilith’s, and Adam telling Raphael to be happy. Everything is going to be okay.

And it’s Adam reclining against the alter, all serene anticipation as Ramiel—the second Prince of Hell, who rejected his place in the succession because all he wanted was to live out a quiet life with his fishing gear, well away from the Pit and the Life—comes storming into the church with Zachariah at his side, assuring Ramiel that he’s trained for this, he can do it—only to have Azazel come bursting in behind them, shouting, “NO, RAMMY! IT’S WHAT HE WANTS!”

[katsidhe]

Hello! Good morning!! I have a Michael/Adam rant!

Midam has the potential to be a wonderfully complex ship... so why is so much of the stuff I see about it, like, straightforward romance, or at most bonding only predicated on bridging the obvious gap between a college kid and a rigid archangel, and not on the batshit insanity that is building a healthy (??????????) relationship in the DOUBLE DATE environment of the Cage??

Because, for a long time, they are not alone!! Lucifer and Sam are around! This is super important! For all intents and purposes, for about two hundred years, the universe consists of exactly four people. And that’s where the magic happens. 🪄

There aren’t many hard-and-fast Cage Facts! That’s what makes the Cage so fun and insane! ! But hey besties, guess what IS an undeniable Cage Fact(tm) as per 15.08: Michael saw Sam tortured and did nothing to intervene. 😇

Adam... knows that. No matter how much he does or doesn’t see, he can’t not know. Even if Michael were to keep him 100% isolated, he isn’t stupid, he can easily surmise. It’s, like, a two-second question, with a two-second answer: “hey so uh where’s my half-brother at” “oh he’s with Lucifer” “uhhhhh is that,,,, I mean is he, um,,, okay” “lmao nope”

Chew on THAT one for a few hundred years, Adam.

He knows Michael is actively choosing not to intervene on Sam’s behalf. He knows Michael well; he’s been in his head. He knows that Michael thinks Sam’s getting what was coming to him, on some level. surely he feels SOME KIND OF WAY about this.

Mitigating feelings: Adam knows Sam chose to cast them both here. There was one person in the driver’s seat at Stull, and only one, and that person was Sam. Sam chose to be here, and the other three of them—Sam’s own kin included—did not.

And yes Adam understands Sam had his reasons, good ones, even. But from where Adam sits, he allied with Heaven. Even knowing a lot more about the machine of Heaven and Michael’s beliefs by now, Adam might find it hard to believe casting Michael down here was strictly necessary. After all, Sam and Dean gave him one hasty elevator pitch, once. Michael... promised whatever it was he promised at the end of s5, or threatened whatever it was that he threatened, and Adam said yes in very short order.

By now, Adam has a major vested interest in believing Michael’s in the right.

For one thing, Adam is deeply afraid of Lucifer. Like, dear god, why wouldn’t he be?

The corollary, of course, is that Adam is relying on Michael for protection. He better fucking hope he and Michael stay on good terms. He’s got an uncomfortably accurate idea of what the alternative looks like.

For another: Adam said yes. Why would he want to believe that that decision doomed the world? Why wouldn’t he want to believe that he was making the best choice from impossible circumstances—minimizing collateral or whatever.

And yet, I can’t see any mental gymnastics really putting a dent in Adam’s basic conviction as a normal, decent human being that no one should undergo sickening torment on the daily for decades. At least, not for awhile, anyway.

So where does that leave Michael and Adam? Does Adam try to pressure Michael to intervene? Is he afraid to push the subject too hard? Does he mostly just try to make himself not think about it too much? Does he negotiate, like, days off for Sam or anything like that? Does he manage to change Michael’s mind at all? Does Michael manage to change his mind at all?

God, the guilt. God, the blame. The powerlessness—which Michael is a party to, which Michael is enforcing. If things continue like this unchanged for too long, Adam basically HAS to start blaming or hating Sam more/agreeing with Michael more just to cope.

I think Sam sees Adam in the Cage at least a few times, and knows that Michael is treating him well, simply because he isn’t incredibly worried and preoccupied by Adam’s fate once he’s out. If Sam didn’t have some assurance that Adam was okay-ish, I think he’d have a lot more active guilt. But what’s he think of Adam hiding behind Michael? Is there resentment mixed with the guilt?

And all this is without touching the Michael-Lucifer relationship, to which Adam is also an unwilling party!! Chew on that one too, Adam!

Basically, Adam gets front row tickets to two massive dumpster fires: Michael and Lucifer, and Sam and Lucifer. And Michael and Sam is, like, at least a fiery recycling bin or something. How is ALL THAT gonna affect how he feels about Michael?

*chanting* DOUBLE! DATES! DOUBLE! DATES!

All of which is to say that I have a complex series of headcanons about what board game preferences and strategies Sam, Lucifer, Michael, and Adam have on their annual double date game night 😇

[angeltrapz]

ok saw asks!!! bcuz i have Amanda on th brain rn i wd like ur take on her interacting w Lawrence? personally idk how much she knew of his involvement bc she implies in 3 tht Lynn was entirely John's choice, but i also think th idea of her Knowing + deliberately not telling Hoffman is extremely funny. Hoffman cant come 2 th weekly disciple meeting bcuz hes got Cop Business so he misses Lawrence's introduction + Amanda is just like "sure John of course ill tell Mark that we got a new friend :)" and just never does. LOVE that thought

dhgsdkj thank u!!

it Is extremely funny 2 think that she just. knows but refuses to tell Hoffman + THAT'S why Hoffman doesn't know who Lawrence is until he jabs him w the needle + takes off the pig mask lmao omg. just like "oh yeah of course I'll tell Mark we have a new teammate don't worry abt it!" and she Never Does dkjkdsg??

okay but 2 Seriously answer yr question. when I think abt it I always think that like. it wld b pretty hard fr John 2 keep them frm each other given how integral Lawrence's participation is in every game from SAW II onward? 'cause like we know Amanda helps w the kidnapping process + placing them in their traps, which one CLD argue would only mean she wld see them after Lawrence would do his thing but. I feel like she'd be vaguely aware? bc she wld also then have 2 know that he survived his game, given that she helped set it up - we know that she'd AT LEAST know his name.

to elaborate on th idea that only HOFFMAN doesn't know (both bc it's fucking hilarious + actually how I view things happening jdkhfksd), I feel like Amanda + Lawrence's interactions wld be rather limited. in canon, Lawrence becomes a disciple after John "rehabilitates" him or whtever he wants 2 call it, but I feel he'd have to be aware of Amanda, too - both that she is also a disciple + SHE'S th one who helped get him in the bathroom in th first place. as grateful as Lawrence seems to feel toward John + as much as he believes in John's "work," I feel like that wld be smth he'd have to work thru: working side by side w someone who had a direct hand in basically destroying yr life as u knew it. n I feel like Amanda wld know that, n as such she'd want to keep her distance bc she can't predict how this man will act/what he will do, even if he is technically on her side. so like. things wld def be tense btwn them until Lawrence has had some time 2 process his new life + what tht means for him, and until the two of them can have some sort of talk/acknowledgement of that.

though I will say that their roles kind of imply they'd at least see a good bit of each other. Amanda scouts, in a way, helps subdue & bring ppl in, which wld then be brought to Lawrence fr any medical procedures they feel r needed (such as sewing th key behind Michael's eye in II) so it'd definitely be like a "hey did u bring some1?" sort of thing. Mark is muscle of course so like I know he def helped on tht end (I believe Amanda is th one who caught Lawrence in the parking garage but like it wld be SO much funnier if Hoffman was the one crawling around) but IDK if he rly Saw Lawrence bc. Cop Business. so he'd just kinda b like "here u go" n bring ppl to Amanda n then peace out 'cause he's gotta keep tht reputation of Respected Detective. we know he also might've messed w traps themselves as well (like The Rack in III), which wld definitely keep him separate from Lawrence bc Lawrence had No Involvement in designing/setting up traps. tht was strictly a John/Hoffman/Amanda endeavour.

as fr how they'd feel abt each other? it's really dependent on how u view thm as characters. Lawrence, after he becomes a disciple, believes that what John is doing is truly helpful and truly has the capability to change lives; he devotes himself 2 it, shows countless times tht he has complete faith in John + his methods, so much so that John left a tape fr him telling him to look after Jill + to act on his behalf if smth were to happen to her. he calls Lawrence his greatest asset. his trust in John + the Jigsaw legacy is unwavering.

Amanda, however, has been shown several times to act directly against John's beliefs, such as constructing inescapable traps (Kerry) or rigging others' games (Adam). th breakdown she has in III I think showcases the disconnect between her love fr John as a mentor/father figure, and the realization that not only is John entirely hypocritical and doesn't stay true to his own beliefs half th time, he truly has shown no regard fr her safety + has only been using her to further the agenda that was built upon a fragile foundation 2 begin with. u've mentioned this b4 too but John always liked 2 say that if u can anticipate the human mind, then nothing is up 2 chance - which wld mean that he KNEW Xavier might throw Amanda into the Needle Pit to get out of it. he KNEW Daniel was just a fucking kid and was perfectly fine w putting him in very real danger to get back at some1 he felt like needling fr the express purpose of provocation and nothing else. he KNEW Laura, a woman she'd formed a bond w and pretty much swore to protect th minute she woke up and saw her crying in the corner, could begin to seize n choke on her own vomit and die in that house. he knew all of those things, ENCOURAGED the belief that smth was wrong w her because she wasn't "fixed" as he had claimed, and it's so unfortunate that she doesn't realize that sooner (I fully agree that she deserved to lose her shit completely on John. it's what he deserved! it's what SHE deserved!!!) but she still Does before she dies (which, again, I Don't think should've happened. she didn't deserve 2 go out like tht + she deserved so much more of her story being told).

so there's the conflict of beliefs between thm. I think Amanda definitely starts out like Lawrence does, completely devoted + believing every word John says, but thru II we can see that certainty begin to falter n her faith in John is completely shaken by the end. I don't think Lawrence wld Know she felt tht way until after she died, if he ever finds out at all, bc I doubt that's smth she'd want to express. it's not even smth she discusses w John himself until III, in which she's already made up her mind to shoot Lynn as a final act of misguided disobedience. I still think tht Lawrence wld feel fr her in some way, though, bc even b4 he became a disciple he was rather horrified when Sing + Tapp had him sit thru her testimony; his feelings would change on this a lil, bc he'd see it as her rebirth (as she once did too), but I still feel like he'd want 2 like. watch over her a little. not super directly, + not because he felt threatened by her presence or anything like that, but because they're in this together n I'm sure John's told him abt some of the circumstances regarding how she came to be a disciple after her game as well. I feel like he wld definitely be saddened by her passing, bc I feel he'd come 2 respect her at least a bit, but fr him it's like. they have 2 keep moving. John is gone now too, smth I'm sure was probably a pretty huge blow fr Lawrence, and now he has to put his energy into making sure Hoffman stays unaware of him. just in case he has to act on that warning John gave him abt Jill. but he wld still miss Amanda n wld mourn her, to be sure.

I don't think they'd be close or anything like tht. kind of just friendly coworkers who only see each other every once in a while, passing thru the doors of each other's lives with a nod and a wave and maybe a greeting if they're feeling up 2 it. they're not too involved. Amanda can't tell u tht Lawrence's favourite flowers are sunflowers. Lawrence can't tell u tht Amanda's favourite smell is lavender or tht her favourite colour is a deep, almost greyish purple. but they're connected thru John, thru their work, n that still means smth to both of them, at least in some manner. when Amanda dies, Lawrence grieves. Jill pays for her headstone n Lawrence makes sure to bring fresh flowers every once in a while, but he has to hold his head up n keep walking. now tht John's gone, there's work to be done.

and someone's gotta keep an eye on Hoffman.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

and the rewatch continues

So rewatching most of season 5 and dipping into season 6, after coming from season 4, I found some things very interesting, things I actually had forgotten about and some that just hit differently now that the show has ended:

Season 4:

Brothers - different iterations: Had that finale happened after this season, it might have made better sense (though I STILL say the manner of Dean’s death is laughable)

Destiel & Cas: While Cas and Dean have some uncomfortable staring contests and there’s chemistry, I didn’t get the whole Destiel vibe (this is just my personal take), yes there’s a bond there, a growing partnership so to speak but I feel like Cas is not around enough for it to be in the forefront of the story or even to demand Dean’s attention in a way. Like Cas made his big entrance in 4x01 and we saw how things took off from there for the story and for this connection/bond between he and Dean but Dean is early season Dean and Cas is early season Cas. Though I found Cas’ interest in everything Dean Winchester to be intriguing (and he put Dean back together with his own hands, I just...this really does become the greatest love story ever told, I swear), I personally didn’t get the whole UST vibes that has been talked about. I actually found myself wanting to go deeper into Cas’ story (a la 6x20 style) aside from Dean’s and Sam’s. 

Anna: That whole night with Anna was purely that: a night. There wasn’t a whole lot of chemistry between Jensen and Julie and it’s very clear that this whole sex-on-last-night-on-earth thing is for comfort, for both characters. I kind of get why they switched up gears there for Dean’s angel role, even if they didn’t intend for Destiel to read as romantic at all initially. 4x09 & especially 4x10 were so obviously trying to ying and yang the brothers and the sides that had chosen them/complemented them: Anna | Ruby, Heaven | Hell -> eventually Michael | Lucifer. But back to Anna, while I enjoyed her character and would have loved to delve deeper with her, I am glad Cas was the one who got to stay. Anna and Dean had no chemistry, outside of a couple of glances before the big hookup/last night on Earth deal, there wasn’t really anything there. Tbf, they didn’t have a lot of private time before that, except maybe one convo. To me, in this scenario, Anna was a source of comfort (after she tells Dean he needs to forgive himself for what happened in Hell which I very much appreciated, someone had to tell him that) and attraction, letting her have her last night on Earth, a hookup, etc. But there was nothing deeper there. And for this bond with an angel to happen, there needed to be something deeper there. Perhaps had Anna been around longer and didn’t go the way she did in season 5, it might have but I honestly tend to doubt it. We all know Cas and Dean’s (Misha’s and Jensen’s) natural chemistry is off the charts. I’m not sure Anna (Julie) could have competed with that had both Cas and Anna stuck around together. I know I’m completely biased here, but I almost felt like Anna and Cas had more chemistry together, it might have been because they got more face time, I’m not sure. But I thoroughly enjoyed watching it all go down again.

Adam: Omg I forgot about how Adam wasn’t Adam when Dean and Sam first met him. That was heartbreaking on so many levels, but mostly for Adam and his mom dying the way they did and of course, for Dean and Sam. Namely Dean because he was the most affected by finding out about Adam’s existence. And I swear I fell in love with Dean more in that episode as a character because despite his pain, his anger, his hurt, he still tries to do the right thing by Adam, to honor his dad’s wishes. And John...that mf’er doesn’t deserve any of those boys as his sons. What an asshole through and through. 

Season 5:

Destiel & Cas: And now we see Cas becoming a bit more forefront and the vibe has changed...slightly. Now it’s a partnership turning into a friendship. Dean and Cas get a bit more face time and it shows. 5x03 was awesome and of course the wholly unnecessary line of “One, Bert and Ernie are gay” -- like where did that come from? I still loved it. It was tough to see Dean and Sam go their separate ways in the beginning but we still got some gold out of it with 5x03 and 5x04. And thankfully, we get more into not only more of the angel and apocalypse lore this season, but we also get to see how Cas’ relationship with the Winchesters is changing and more of what makes Cas tick as a character in his own right. And of course, bamf!Cas was very present. 

Brothers: Once again, had that finale happened after this season, it might have made more sense (sans the junk death) - because it’s very obvious that the co-dependency is alive and well here and it would have made more sense for their characters - while they have others outside of the two of them they are caring about (Bobby, Ellen, Jo just to name a few), it’s still the exclusive Winchester-only club. I truly enjoyed watching these two working together and moving towards the season finale. Dean’s memory of Sam and the fireworks, Dean talking about how Sam’s best memories weren’t the same as his (shocker, John Winchester is a d-bag, I’ll keep saying it), Dean struggling to make the decision to say yes to Michael, having to agree with the plan for Sam to say yes to Lucifer to try to trap the latter, Dean showing up to the cemetery -- all of it was incredible and the two of them were the beating heart of the show at that point. 5x22 will always be one of my favorite season finales for that show. It was pure awesomeness, truly epic and perfect.

Dean: holy hell, they really, really threw a lot into Dean this season - not that they hadn’t before, but damn. Each season just amps up the Dean game, just like I remember, and I am happily here for it again. No offense to Sam at all, but Dean is just so complex, so complicated yet straightforward, and there’s so many layers to him that they just keep peeling back and they feed us well each season. I swear, if you turned the sound off and just watched that scene where Dean tells Zachariah to call Michael, where Dean and Sam go their separate ways, you would know exactly everything Dean is feeling and thinking thanks to the incredible talent of one Mr. Jensen Ackles. Just really incredible. How this man never got nominated for an Emmy at any point for this show just astounds me. Yes, I know that show wasn’t considered a contender for that type of award run, but dammmnnnn. He deserves it and more. Watching this season and season 4 really brought back the original reasons I fell in love with Dean as a character in the first place. One of the best characters ever, I’m telling you. And may I just say, I hated that they brought back John’s leather jacket for him in the season finale but I get it, it was Kripke’s swan song (did I just do that? I believe I did) so we of course went back to core Winchester things, not just in story but every element. I’m ngl, I was so glad to see Dean shed it though when he is sitting down to dinner with Lisa and Ben.

Apocalypse: I thoroughly enjoyed this whole plot line - this really was high stakes, more than ever before, and though angels were dicks, there was Lucifer of course and a mysterious though mostly absent God behind the curtain - you just never knew what was going to be thrown at you next, just like the boys were going through.

Heaven/Mary: even though this definitely has to do with Dean more so, I did enjoy them seeing Ash and Pam, Ash’s setup, and of course Mary being there, seeing how such a good memory could be manipulated by the dick angels and the horrible things Mary said to Dean. Of course, I felt for Dean but it was interesting to see that whole scene play out. Plus we got even more confirmation of what we’ve known all along: John is a bonafide asshole and Dean really did experience facets of spousification, even before Mary died (which just makes me so sad for him, I swear if they don’t put a Cas vs John scene in the reboot... because you know Cas will win that thumb war)

Meg: ngl, I wasn’t really crazy about this iteration of Meg - I don’t mean Rachel Miner’s version, just this particular performance, which I chalk up to whoever decided they wanted her to go this route in her performance - I couldn’t believe it was the same character, the same actress - I am so glad the show/Rachel developed the character we all love to hate and secretly really love to how she was in later seasons

Jo: omg Jo. I have to admit, in season 2, in the first episode she showed up in, I despised her. She was like that bratty teenage kid who’s a real pain in the ass and whines and doesn’t get it. But after that episode, I grew to love her with each one she was in. She became a bamf in her own right and I loved seeing that come through this season especially. Her death was horrific (what is it with this show killing off bamf female hunters in such a gruesome way? it brought back horrible Eileen flashbacks for me personally, and for them to turn Meg and Ketch into somewhat redeemable characters after that... you know, I swear...) but heroic and I had never been more proud of my girl. Except the scene with Dean in the kitchen. As much as I love my chaotic hunter son, I was glad to see Jo flip him off in the way she did. So proud. And then her goodbye with Dean, I had forgotten exactly what he did so I was going “omg, she just saved you, Dean, this girl has feelings for you, she deserves at least a kiss, kiss her. right. the fuck. now!” and sure enough, he did, on the forehead, which I was like okay, well I get it, he doesn’t return those feelings but he does care about her but dammit, she deserved for him to plant one on her. and then he did and I was just gone, I was a complete bawling mess. And her goodbye scene with Ellen, and then her death along with Ellen’s sacrificing herself to stay by Jo’s side and give the boys a chance to get out of there...yeah, I didn’t stop crying for about five minutes. I cannot tell you how much I miss those characters and I would have sold someone else’s right arm to make their return in the series finale happen. Besides the obvious characters that should have been present, Ellen, Jo, and Ash deserved to be there (just not Samantha and Chad, if we can get a “Cas helped” for the third major character/lead, we can also get a “Ellen and Jo went to assist in setting up the honeymoon suite above the roadhouse - I said what I said).

John: usually, I cannot abide giving any time to this jerk, never mind talking about him, but I have to say I enjoyed seeing pre-loss John in 5x13. That conversation he has with Sam I think is so glaringly important. I know it was for Sam to forgive John and heal, but the fact that John himself is saying “how could he do that to you? he was supposed to protect you” -- yep, that was pure poetic cinema in my eyes. Because pre-loss John is right, how dare post-loss John do that to his boys? There’s no excuse anyone or this show can give him. As much as I love JDM, post-loss John Winchester will never be okay in my book.

Adam: omg Adam. First of all, I loved his dynamic with Sam and Dean. I really, really wish we could have had him around longer just for that alone. What an awesome character we could have had giving Dean and Sam a run for their money. “Well, we’re working on the power of love.” “How’s that going?” “Not so great.” -- give me an episode of the three brothers on a milk run hunt (sans generic mask-wearing vampmimes) with all of the fixings and I swear we would get done!Sam, consistently being roasted between Dean and Adam, and then Dean thinking he’s got a mutual now, a BFF, and Adam turning right around to roast him as well. It would be epic, I tell you, epic. I wish Adam had gotten a better end, this season and at the end of the series. He certainly deserved better. And this may be a random observation but why did Michael take Adam at all? I know the countdown had begun and he was desperate to grab a vessel so he could fight Lucifer at the appointed time and Dean was not giving in (that he knew of), but what chance of victory did he think he had without using his true vessel? Using that logic, I guess Michael’s end in the series makes more sense now...? Who knows.

Chuck: Swan Song (5x22) and the lines, “Endings are hard. Any chapped ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There’s always gonna be holes. And since it’s the ending, it’s all supposed to add up to something. I’m telling you, they’re a raging pain in the ass“ -- did anyone else feel like that was Kripke speaking or is it just me?

Season 6:

the whole Lisa thing: while it was nice to see Dean go domestic, I have to say I was more invested in Dean and Ben’s relationship development than I was with Dean and Lisa’s. The chemistry just wasn’t there, I have to be honest (he and Anna actually had more chemistry for a few minutes than he did with Lisa this whole season). I don’t doubt they loved each other, it was real, and Lisa was good for him at the time but it just didn’t have that spark. I loved Lisa as a character in her own right, but I was happy to see her and Dean eventually go their separate ways. Though my heart broke for Ben on that one. He and Dean really had a whole father-son bond happening there. I appreciated that when Ben called him, even that one time that nothing was really wrong, Dean dropped everything and headed right over. They had a bond of their own happening outside of Dean and Lisa’s. I think Dean ultimately made the right choice in the end to keep Lisa and Ben safe (though they should have been able to choose if they wanted this), but God did that cost him and we see it in that scene outside of the hospital with Sam. How much that hurt for him, and for us to see how it killed him to do it. I’m still grateful that he got to see what the domestic life was like and that he got a reprieve from hunting for a bit. It made complete sense as to why Cas didn’t want to pull him back in to ask for help with Raphael.

Destiel: Welp, now there’s definitely an emotional relationship happening. Meaning the bond has become even more forefront and not only is Dean affected, but we also see that Cas is, too. Dean’s reaction to finding out Cas was working with Crowley the whole time, Cas’ reaction to Dean choosing to save the two boys instead of focusing on finding Eve, Cas’ reaction to Dean’s stance on the Crowley situation, Dean’s finding out Crowley kidnapped Lisa and Ben, Cas asking Dean to trust him, Dean seeing Cas becoming the new God and needing to summon Death, etc. It was fantastic. While it hurt during some moments, I enjoyed seeing the dynamics and reactions to these situations play out. This is definitely a friendship now, a family relationship formed (and still forming) like Dean says in 6x20. Imho, Jensen and Misha knocked it out of the park this season when it came to that relationship. I loved it.

Cas: holy hell, 6x20 has become one of my all-time favorite episodes of SPN. I loved seeing Cas’ POV. Cas was already a fave character of mine but this episode made me fall in love with him all over again. This was incredible and I’m so thankful they fed us so well with this one. I really enjoyed seeing Cas as a character stepping into the forefront, right there with Dean and Sam. Yes, he was a part of TFW before this, but you have to admit that in this season, it becomes a whole new ball game. Really amazing stuff and of course, Misha slayed it all.

Meg & Megstiel: I was so happy to see the iteration of Meg return that we know from later seasons. Maybe I’m just too used to that version but to me this felt more effortless for the character and for Rachel, that really let both shine. Personally, I’m not a Megstiel shipper. While I love their dynamic, it just isn’t there for me, but I really did enjoy their scenes together. Cas felt as if he needed a little shaking up so to speak so I think she was perfect for that. Plus, I have a hard time forgiving those in the show that sic Hellhounds on my bamf female hunters so that might be partially the reason for my bias, just saying. (I never really forgave Ketch either)

Samuel...& Co: I just...why? Don’t get me wrong, I liked Mitch but this felt a bit...I don’t know...off? Other than some place for Soulless!Sam to go while Dean was playing house and for nabbing Alphas for Crowley, I don’t get what the point of this story line was? Was it to show us that Mary’s dad was a d-bag? Check. Was it to show us how people sometimes make the worst decisions when it comes to their family? Double check. Like, we kind of already got that and it was just unnecessary confirmation if that makes sense. And the thing that kills me is that Samuel was in Hell (or goes to Hell, I kind of did other things in the background during that arc) but he loved his daughter enough to betray her sons and do the wrong thing but John gets to go to Heaven? This still confounds me. Though I enjoyed Gwen and it was a shame she couldn’t be a family contact in another state for the boys later on to pop up every now and then.

Soulless!Sam: I enjoyed this part of Sam’s arc but I won’t lie, I was relieved like everyone else when he finally got his soul back though waited with bated breath for the other shoe to drop. But it was interesting to see this side of Sam.

Dad!Dean: I know I mentioned Dean and Ben above, but that one episode with the shifter!baby, that was priceless and God, did I love it.

I just loved going back to this for both boys

[ourloveisforthelovely]

To the Ends of the Earth 14

Supernatural 

A/n: Supernatural AU. OOC Gabriel. Smut warning 

Link to Chapter 13

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

______

Walking into the garage, you stopped the moment that you saw Dean leaned over Baby. You wanted to get out of the bunker unnoticed. Dean looked up as you threw your handbag into the passenger seat.

“Hey, where are you going?

You turned to your brother.

“On a drive...alone.”

Dean straightened up and wiped his hands on a towel.

“Did Gabriel and yourself have a little tiff or something?”

You rolled your eyes. A little “tiff” was one way to put it. You knew that Gabriel was throwing a lot of his venom at you because of Lucifer but you were not going to put up with it. When your brothers drove you nuts, you didn’t take your frustrations out on Gabriel. Hell, you were practically ready to kill Adam and Gabriel wasn’t the first in your line of fire. That was Adam’s job. Adam caused the problem and he was repeating the rewards of his behavior.

“Yeah, something like that. I won’t be gone long.”

Dean nodded before handing you a revolver that he had hidden in the garage.

“It has angel killing bullets. Before you give me a go-to-hell look it's not for Gabriel. I just want you to be safe if some shit head tries to attack you while you are out.”

You raised an eyebrow before looking back to your brother.

“You aren’t going to give me some kind of lecture about going out on my own?”

Dean shook his head.

“Won’t do me any good anyway. Besides, you’re a good hunter. We both know that. If anything happens, pray to Cas...or that guy you're with. What do you want me to tell him when he stops acting like a baby and wants to know where you are?”

You shrugged.

“Tell him that I went to get milk.”

Dean chuckled. He turned and went back into the house after giving you a wink. Sure, Gabriel would believe that you went to get milk. That was totally believable.

What do I care?

Dean thought with a giggle and went off in search of his third cup of coffee.

You, meanwhile, sped down the dark Kansas streets with the radio blaring. To your surprise, the phone hadn’t rung one time. You figured that Gabriel would have called as soon as you left the bunker. When he didn’t, you shrugged. Maybe he was still off being a baby, as Dean put it.

Being a baby...that was probably a harsh way to put it. The understanding side of your brain kicked in. Seeing Lucifer again had to be a huge kick in the balls for Gabriel. He never said it but you had the feeling that his brother’s departure from heaven still affected Gabriel to this day. The moment that you saw the expression of disappointment in Gabriel’s eyes...you understood everything. The two of you had not sat down and had one conversation in the time that he had returned. It was mostly snide remarks and comments about the other that wasn’t fixing a damn thing.

Your mind went to your own brother, Adam. Since the time that he had come back, the two of you were still not getting along. You sighed. From the moment he “died” you had prayed in some vain hope that he would come back. If Adam could just come back from the dead, you would fix everything that went wrong between the two of you. Now, here you were not fixing a thing.

Granted, not everything was your fault. A lot of it was Adam too. He didn’t want you to be happy with Gabriel. You tried to understand things from Adam’s point of view but you just couldn’t. If the shoes were on the other foot and Adam found some angel girl...you would be happy for him. Clearly, life was too short.

(meanwhile)

Dean stood in the kitchen with a tub of ice cream in his hands. This was the best part of his day!

“Oh ice cream, you have what I need.”

He said gleefully.

“That is just disturbing.”

Dean almost dropped his ice cream the moment that he heard Gabriel’s voice. He spun around to see the archangel staring at him with an expression of disgust on his face.

“Son of a bitch, Gabriel! Can you stop sneaking around here?! I am going to tell Y/n to put a bell around your neck or something! You made me drop my spoon!”

Gabriel shrugged as Dean threw his now dirty spoon in the sink and went in search of another.

“Sneaking is my specialty. Would you like a bowl or something? You are comparable to a caveman.”

Dean snorted.

“Me eating ice cream out of the carton is disturbing to you? I am sure that you have seen a lot worse than me eating ice cream this way.”

Gabriel grinned.

“Oh yes. I have. I destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah without blinking. That was probably a disturbing thing to witness.”

Dean winced. Gabriel had a pretty decent sense of humor but when he got on the holier than thou train; he could get downright righteous.

“Yeah, well…that makes me feel so much better about you dating my sister. I’m glad that you aren’t that archangel anymore.”

Gabriel smirked. He could still be that archangel if he wanted. If he remained with Michael and Raphael (not to mention the other angels that followed him around looking to be “herded”) it would be more than easy to be that angel again. Putting what you were on the back burner wasn’t an easy task.

“Dating is a strong word about what Y/n is to me. I don’t care what people do anymore. Clearly, it doesn’t change a thing. If you aren’t out murdering other humans or being a raging lunatic then do what you will.”

Dean was a little surprised to hear those words come out of Gabriel’s mouth. He didn’t even want to think about the word wife.

“Sounds like you have come a long way in the course of a few months with my sister.”

Gabriel shrugged.

“Maybe it was the finding out that everything my father taught us was a lie. Everything that I knew...isn't right. Anyway, none of that matters now. Where is Y/n? I was an ass to her.”

Dean walked to the refrigerator and put the ice cream back in the freezer.

“She went out. I gave her a gun with angel killing bullets. If anyone messes with her I don’t doubt that my sister will cap their ass.”

Gabriel groaned and disappeared. Dean sighed.

“He’s wasting whatever grace he had built up going after her.”

(back with you)

You flew down a road with music blaring. Tapping your fingers on the steering wheel, you were feeling better by the moment. You had to agree with Dean. Sometimes a nice long drive could fix everything.

Looking ahead, you frowned seeing someone standing in the middle of the road.

“What the fuck?”

You muttered before slamming on your breaks. The person didn’t move as you came to a stop about 6 feet from them.

“Son of a bitch...dumb ass motherfucker needs to use their brain.”

You muttered before getting out of the car.

“Hey! You can’t just be standing in the middle of the road like that, moron. That is how you get killed!”

When the man looked up, you almost screamed. It was Michael. He gave you that dark smile that haunted your nightmares from the first time that you had met him.

“Hello, Y/n.”

You frowned, feeling that surge of nervousness wash over you mixed with a feeling of anger.

“What’s up, sparkles?”

Michael frowned, looking obviously confused.

“What’s up? Sparkles? Is that a greeting?

You chuckled.

“It's the nicest greeting that I could come up with. I think that you should leave, we aren’t nice to archangels in these parts.”

Michael smirked.

“That isn’t what I have been hearing. From what I have heard, you make archangels feel very welcome. Maybe that is why my brother is staying nestled between your harlot legs.”

You scoffed.

“Dude, just say hoe. No one says harlot anymore. Way to make yourself sounds ancient as fuck. Furthermore, Gabriel stays because that is what Gabriel wants. I don’t think that you know your brother as well as you think. Gabriel doesn’t do a damn thing that he doesn’t want to do.”

Michael didn’t smile or make any facial expressions.

“I don’t think that you know my brother as well as you think that you do. Gabriel is not your little play toy. He has a job to do. It's best that you let him go and do it. I don’t care about what imaginary bond that you believe that you have….”

“I saw his wings. You, of all people, know what that means.”

Michael frowned.

“It isn’t possible. My father would never pair one of his sons with a filthy human...especially one of you Winchesters.”

“Jeez, Michael. We aren’t that bad! It sounds like you didn’t know your father that well after all. I am going to make it simple for you. Gabriel and I are together. You and that shit head brother of yours are going to have to find some way to accept it.”

Michael snarled. He raised his hand to snap you out of existence.

“Enough!”

Both Michael and yourself turned to see Gabriel a few feet behind you. Boy, did he look mad! His golden eyes were glowing in fury as he kept his focus on his older brother. You glanced back at Michael, who looked as stunned as you did.

Quickly looking back to your lover, you couldn’t help but worry how long his grace would hold out. If he went completely empty against Michael, neither of you would stand a chance. You put your hand on your side to find the gun that Dean had given you.

“Not yet.”

Gabriel muttered as he wrapped his arms around you. He gave you that little playful smirk that made your knees weak.

“Hey, sugar.”

Gabriel said with a smile. One arm went around your waist while his other hand reached up to cup your cheek.

“Gabriel, stop this!”

Michael snapped. Gabriel glanced over his shoulder to his very angry looking brother. Gabriel laughed coldly before turning his attention back to you.

“Everything will be just fine, sugar.”

He tilted your face to his before leaning down and kissing you. Gabriel could feel the rage going through Michael as he wanted with a sneer on his face.

This kiss was different from the ones the two of you had shared before. Gabriel was more commanding. This was more like kissing the archangel that you read about. You closed your eyes, losing yourself in the moment.

“Gabe…”

You moaned happily in your mind. Gabriel smiled against your mouth as he sucked at your bottom lip. The moment that his wings wrapped around you, you could have come apart in his arms. This was by far one of the most erotic and intimate moments in your relationship and Gabriel wasn’t even inside of you. Maybe it was the fact that he was proving to the chief asshat in charge that your bond wasn’t a joke?

Gabriel was the first to move away. He gave you a small smile before shoving you behind him. Gabriel turned his attention back to Michael, who looked ready to scream.

“Hello, brother.”

Michael’s eyes rolled to his brother’s face.

“You bonded with a human.”

Gabriel nodded before looking a bit annoyed.

“True. Father told me that it would happen thousands of years ago. I didn’t think he was right but look where I am now. If you think for one moment that I am going to sit back and let you lay a hand on her, you are very very wrong.”

Michael growled again.

“Do you see a possibility where this is going to work out? You are both entirely different species. Gabriel, you know what happens when angels fall in love with humans. You were there when we killed the fallen angels that took human wives. Now here you are following in their footsteps. What are you going to do when your whore becomes pregnant? Do you think that I am going to stand by and watch a Nephilim be created?”

Gabriel smiled, coldly.

“There is already one that you don’t know about. Clearly, it wouldn’t affect your stupid ass much.”

Gabriel snapped his fingers sending Michael tumbling backward.

“Don’t you ever call my girl a whore again.”

Michael struggled to stand up. He gave Gabriel an ice-cold glare.

“Gabriel, you are insane. You will both go to hell! I’ll never let you back in heaven again!”

Michael vanished before Gabriel could launch another attack.

Gabriel looked around carefully. Something told him to keep an eye out for Michael. A sneak attack seemed like such a Michael thing to do. When he didn’t show back up, Gabriel turned back to you. He smiled looking at the worried expression on your face. Your green eyes were wide as Gabriel reached out with his wings and pulled you to him.

“Hi princess.”

He said with that shy smile that won your heart in the beginning.

“Hi, darling.”

Gabriel kept his wings around you. Maybe it was to keep you safe from any sneak attacks or to keep your bodies together. At the moment, you didn’t care. You were enjoying every caress that Gabriel had to give you.

“I owe you an apology for earlier.”

Gabriel said with a smirk. He brought your hand to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss to each finger tip.

“It's fine, Gabe. Just so you know, I didn’t come looking for Michael. His stupid ass was just standing in the middle of the road like a moron.”

Gabriel nodded.

“I saw the whole thing. No one said that my brothers were smart.”

Gabriel lowered his mouth back to yours. You wrapped one hand in his leather jacket while the other stroked up his back. The moment that you stroked over his wing joints; Gabriel shivered. He groaned against your mouth and involuntarily rocked his hips into yours.

“You know what I want now.”

He said as his voice deepened a few octaves. You glanced over your shoulder making sure that there were no signs of life.

“We’ve never had sex in the car before.”

Gabriel gave you that devilish little smirk that got him whatever he wanted from you.

“We are about to now.”

He quickly hid his wings before walking to your SUV. Opening the door, he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Come here, princess.”

You didn’t hesitate before quickly joining Gabriel. The moment that you shut the door, you were naked. You quickly looked back to Gabriel, who sat looking at you with that cocky grin. Swallowing, you let your eyes fall down the archangel’s body. The muscles in his chest and stomach tightened as he ran his hand over his hard-on.

“As much as I would love to have that pretty mouth on me; I don’t think that I can wait. Touching my wings like that has turned me into a needy mess. Don’t make me ask you twice to come over here, sugar. I know that you are wet.”

You sat motionless a moment before practically diving on the archangel. He knew exactly how to turn you into a needy wet mess with only a few words. Placing a knee on either side of Gabriel’s body, you took him from tip to base without any regards in adjustments. Gabriel groaned, muttering something in Enochian.

The pressure between your legs intensified as Gabriel used his grace to press down on your clit.

“Gabe, you tease.”

You muttered. Gabriel laughed as he squeezed your ass.

“I should call you a tease for feeling me up in front of my brother. It was hot though.”

You smiled against his mouth as Gabriel increased his pace.

“Would you like to see a new trick?”

You asked, between kisses. Gabriel shook his head.

“If it involves me not being inside of you at the moment then no.”

You shook your head. There was no way that you were about to pull away from your archangel now.

“Oh, sweet boy I am not going anywhere.”

You carefully spread your legs to your side so that you were in a split position. Internally, you thanked Dean for talking you into getting the bigger SUV. This would make for a good thank you note for Dean later!

Gabriel’s eyes flashed bright gold as he went deeper, if possible. You clenched your eyes closed as his cock pressed firmly against your cervix. Rocking your hips, you enjoyed every deep thrust that Gabriel had to give you. You leaned down and pressed your mouth to his neck. Gently biting down, you felt Gabriel’s cock twitch.

“Put your wings out.”

You moaned softly against his neck. Gabriel whimpered “lord help me” in Enochian before fulfilling your request. Reaching behind Gabriel, you wrapped your hands around his wing joints. The moment that you gently yet firmly pressed down, Gabriel’s torso lifted from the seat. His arms wrapped around your body. He pulled you as tightly to him as possible.

Gabriel slammed his hips upward. His thrusts became deeper and more frantic. Your head fell backward with each perfectly timed thrust.

“Gabriel!”

You whimpered his name making the archangel moan.

“Sweetheart, don’t stop. Keep messing with my wings! Don’t stop.”

Gabriel whispered the last “don’t stop” knowing that there was no way that he was going to be able to hold on much longer.

You stroked your hand up his spine continuing the assault on his wing joints. To say that you were pleased with all of the desperate moans that Gabriel was making was an understatement. Normally, he liked to be in control but today it was different. Today, you were fulfilling one of his darkest dirtiest fantasies.

“Harder, Y/n, Pull harder! I need to come.”

Gabriel groaned. You wrapped your hands around one of his wings before tugging. Gabriel buried his face in your neck and bit down. The moment that your body tightened around his, Gabriel couldn't hold on any longer. He came hard inside of you as he bit down once more.

“Not done.”

Gabriel muttered as he increased his pace to fuck you through his own orgasm.

“Come for me, pretty girl. I want to feel you come apart. I filled you up now come for me, sugar.”

Gabriel slammed his hips into yours once more. Between the pressure on your womb and Gabriel’s erotic whispering; you came hard.

You were so lost in the moment that you didn’t feel Gabriel ease out of you. He gently pulled you into a lying position so you were snuggled on top of him and against his chest. Gabriel stroked his hand through your hair as you came down from your high.

“You okay?”

He asked, softly. You nodded, feeling unable to speak for the moment. Everything was perfect for the moment. You lay snuggled against his body having no will to move. If you didn’t feel so thoroughly fucked, you could ask Gabriel to make love to you again. His cock was still hard against your stomach, making your own core twitch.

“I’m perfect.”

You finally managed to say in a soft voice. Gabriel chuckled and leaned down to kiss your head.

“I think that you’ve given me a wing kink. That was intense.”

You giggled, moving your legs to adjust in the back seat of the SUV. Gabriel didn’t even have to tell you that it was intense. You could feel the results of your love making leaking down your thighs.

Closing your eyes, you wanted to savor the moment as much as you could. The next few moments were quiet and peaceful. As you began to drift off in Gabriel’s arms, you began to think about Michael’s comments about Nephilim. Gabriel and Michael had killed other angels for making Nephilim. Raphael’s comment about Gabriel having a “villainous side” came back to mind. Would he take that villainous side out on you if something did happen?

“Gabe, what happened with the whole Nephilim thing?”

Gabriel’s body tightened underneath yours. The hand that was stroking yours stopped in mid-motion.

“I think that you know that answer to that, Y/n.”

Gabriel said, idly. You slowly sat up and perched yourself on Gabriel’s waist. The archangel groaned as your wetness pressed against his still hard cock.

“I don’t know anything. Gabriel...what if…”

Gabriel’s eyes opened. He gave you that scowl that told you he was getting annoyed.

“If what?”

You looked around as if looking for someone overhearing the conversation at hand. Suddenly, you felt very naked and vulnerable. It didn’t matter that you had the most passionate, mindblowing sex ever! It also didn’t matter that Gabriel has seen you naked hundreds of times. You felt like a bug under his unblinking gaze.

“What is going to happen if I get pregnant?”

Gabriel shifted his arm underneath his head. He didn’t look the least bit worried or concerned with your sudden fear.

“It isn’t going to happen.”

You frowned. Here came the archangel.

“I’m sure the other angels thought the same thing before their lovers got pregnant too.”

Gabriel’s golden eyes narrowed.

“I said that it isn’t going to happen. Now get off of me, woman.”

You quickly did as you were told before Gabriel pushed you off. The expression on his face alone told you that he was absolutely livid!

What you didn’t know was Gabriel was internally panicking! He had been pretty good about making sure any unplanned pregnancies didn’t happen. The last thing that he wanted was to be creating a Nephilim that he would have to spend the rest of forever protecting. His mind went to Jack for a moment. His nephew was a good kid but he wasn’t Gabriel’s responsibility. You were his responsibility and anything childlike that came out of you would be his responsibility. Gabriel wasn’t strong enough to be protecting a nephilim at the moment. The night’s activities had drained him of what grace he had recharged.

“You definitely didn’t do a damn thing to protect her just now.”

Gabriel’s mind supplied. He mentally kicked himself when he thought about the sex the two of you just had. This had been the most sensual not to mention intimate sex ever and he didn’t think one bit about stopping a damn thing.

You, meanwhile, had already redressed. Gabriel sighed, looking at you. You were upset and it was his fault. Again, his temper had gotten the better of him. This time it was for good reason. Gabriel was not meant to be a father. Being bonded to you was the most that was meant to happen!

Gabriel sighed, thinking back about the Nephilim situation from the past. You didn’t have to be a part of that nightmare, Gabriel did. This was before God told Gabriel about his own future with a human wife. Gabriel didn’t care then. Now he wasn’t so sure...

Gabriel stood behind Michael as he stared down the fallen angels and their wives. He knew the expression on their faces...fear. It was painfully obvious that the beings in front of him were scared for their lives. Maybe not only their lives individually but the lives of the family that they had created. Gabriel wanted to feel sorry for them but he couldn’t. They had broken the rules. Rule breakers had to be punished and this was one of the most deadly and dangerous rules to break!

As Michael went on and on about the rules that the angels before them broke; Gabriel focused on their pitiful expressions. Right away, Gabriel noticed an angel that he never expected to go rogue standing before him. Eli looked petrified (and with good reason. Gabriel thought). The woman at his side clung a small toddler. The child looked around, not understanding what was going on or his parent’s fear.

“You’re all going to die for breaking one of heaven’s most clear rules. Angels and humans do not mix. Creating what you all have created is wrong….it's an abomination and a sin against nature.”

Michael said, coldly. Eli focused his attention to Gabriel. The archangel was his leader against the darkness. If anyone could save him and his family, it would be Gabriel.

“Gabriel, please…please do something.”

Gabriel’s sullen expression didn’t change as he looked at his subordinate.

“You know heaven's laws. They aren’t here for some of us to follow and some of us not to. Regardless of your affiliation with me, you know the punishment.”

Michael turned to Gabriel with a pleased smile.

“Take care of the problem.”

Gabriel nodded. He didn’t give Eli another chance to speak before waving his hand and the whole group in front of him vanished with a pained scream...

Gabriel pulled himself from the memory before turning to look at you. You had already started driving back toward the bunker silently. Gabriel sighed. He knew that his temper had won again. You wanted the truth. You deserved the truth....

“Look at that...I have fallen too.”

________

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@hankypranky

@summer-novak

@shaylybaby2032

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

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[vavandeveresfan]

“Ben Affleck To Return As Batman In Upcoming ‘Flash’ Movie That Also Will Feature Michael Keaton As Dark Knight.”

From DEADLINE:

Sources have confirmed that Ben Affleck is returning as Batman in the upcoming Flash movie which Warner Bros. is putting into production.  It is to be a cameo role. And, yes, Affleck will be playing the Dark Knight alongside Michael Keaton’s Batman from the 1989 Tim Burton film, in what is billed by Flash director Andy Muscietti as a “substantial” part. The Flash is scheduled for release on June 3, 2022. Ezra Miller, who played Flash in Justice League, plays the title role.

Despite being involved in early development on Matt Reeves’ The Batman, Affleck stepped away from reprising the role in that movie in January 2019, as we first told you. In regards to the new Batman franchise moving forward, sources say it’s Robert Pattinson who is the face of Bruce Wayne.

Affleck reportedly got the script for The Flash at the end of last week and agreed to board the project.

“He’s a very substantial part of the emotional impact of the movie. The interaction and relationship between Barry and Affleck’s Wayne will bring an emotional level that we haven’t seen before,” Muschietti tells Vanity Fair who broke the news. “It’s Barry’s movie, it’s Barry’s story, but their characters are more related than we think. They both lost their mothers to murder, and that’s one of the emotional vessels of the movie. That’s where the Affleck Batman kicks in.”

Another reason feature mythology-wise why Affleck’s Batman is coming back to The Flash, and that’s that Miller’s Flash considers him to be the original Dark Knight, the guy he fought alongside in Justice League. Hence, per Muschietti, it was necessary to have Affleck’s Batman as a starting point: “He’s the baseline. He’s part of that unaltered state before we jump into Barry’s adventure…There’s a familiarity there,” he further tells Vanity Fair.

Warner Bros. is hosting a DC Fandome virtual confab for its superhero movies this Saturday with panels for the new Flash movie, Wonder Woman 1984, Aquaman, Shazam!, The Batman, Black Adam, Suicide Squad and Wonder Woman 1984.

From Vanity Fair:

Ben Affleck Will Return as Batman in The Flash.  His Caped Crusader will appear along with Michael Keaton’s in the upcoming movie, which explores a multiverse of DC Comics heroes. 

Batman forever strives for a chance to set things right. That may finally happen with Ben Affleck’s version of the crimefighter.

The Argo director’s brooding Dark Knight is coming back for one more movie, with Affleck agreeing to return as Bruce Wayne in the upcoming big-screen version of The Flash, Vanity Fair has learned.

Portrayals of Batman always ignite furious debate among fans, and Affleck’s selection for the part continues to provoke intense discussion, even years after he first donned the cowl. Some love him; some disparage him. Some refused to see him in the role from the very beginning, while others consider him an underrated favorite who deserved more chances to play the role onscreen.

This does not disrupt The Batman film starring Robert Pattinson, who remains the future of the franchise.

The Flash movie, which is planned for release in summer 2022, will feature fast-moving hyper-hero Barry Allen, played by Ezra Miller, breaking the bonds of physics to crash into various parallel dimensions, where he’ll encounter slightly different versions of DC’s classic heroes. It’s an adaptation of DC’s 2011 Flashpoint series of comic book crossovers, directed by Andy Muschietti, the filmmaker behind the recent adaptations of Stephen King’s It and It Chapter Two.

“His Batman has a dichotomy that is very strong, which is his masculinity—because of the way he looks, and the imposing figure that he has, and his jawline —but he’s also very vulnerable,” Muschietti said in an interview. “He knows how to deliver from the inside out, that vulnerability. He just needs a story that allows him to bring that contrast, that balance.”

Affleck got the script at the end of last week and agreed this week to join the project.

“He’s a very substantial part of the emotional impact of the movie. The interaction and relationship between Barry and Affleck’s Wayne will bring an emotional level that we haven’t seen before,” the director added. "It’s Barry’s movie, it’s Barry’s story, but their characters are more related than we think. They both lost their mothers to murder, and that’s one of the emotional vessels of the movie. That’s where the Affleck Batman kicks in.”

“I’m glad to be collaborating with someone who has been on both sides of the camera, too,” Muschietti said. “He understands.”

Affleck won’t be the only Batman making a comeback; a few more of the alternate-dimension heroes who turn up in the Flash movie will be figures we’ve seen before. Michael Keaton’s Batman from the 1989 Tim Burton film is also set to appear in what Muschietti said was a “substantial” part.

There's another reason The Flash needed the character affectionately known as Batfleck. In DC’s movie universe, Affleck’s gray-templed Bruce Wayne is the one Ezra's Flash would consider “the original Batman,” the one he has already fought alongside in the previous Zack Snyder films.

Muschietti said it wouldn’t work as well for him to venture into the company of other Batmen without having Affleck as the starting point. “He’s the baseline. He’s part of that unaltered state before we jump into Barry’s adventure,” the director said. “There's a familiarity there.”

DC has still other motivations for exploring this story. Batman is too valuable a character to leave fallow for long, and new actors will forever be stepping into the role. By threading the concept of a multiverse into its DC storyline, Warner Bros. is attempting to create a way for all the competing factions of its fandom to coexist together.

Unlike the Marvel Cinematic Universe or Star Wars, in which everything is designed to be part of the same canon, the multiverse approach can allow projects to vary greatly in tone, or feature different actors, while still being threaded together. Keeping a broad coalition of fans from battling over what is “legitimate” is one of the biggest challenges for studios managing franchises with vast appeal and decades of history. Sony’s animated Into the Spider-Verse also helped popularize the alternate-dimension concept, introducing the Miles Morales character to a host of differing Spider–folk.

So far, the multiverse approach has helped DC both differentiate itself and revisit the same characters without being accused of rebooting or erasing recent favorites. DC TV shows such as Arrow, Batwoman, Black Lightning, and Supergirl have done crossover events, and a few months ago the Crisis on Infinite Earths storyline laid the groundwork for the multiverse concept, with Miller’s movie Flash making an appearance in that story by coming face-to-face with the TV Flash played by Grant Gustin.

“This movie is a bit of a hinge in the sense that it presents a story that implies a unified universe where all the cinematic iterations that we’ve seen before are valid,” Muschietti said. “It’s inclusive in the sense that it is saying all that you’ve seen exists, and everything that you will see exists, in the same unified multiverse.”

That doesn’t mean there aren’t still intense disagreements in the fandom, and the return of Batfleck is sure to launch countless takes.

Affleck was cast as Batman in late August of 2013, and the debate over his presence hasn’t let up even after two movies with Snyder—Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Justice League—and one cameo in Suicide Squad. His take will also get a new approach in the famed “Snyder Cut” of Justice League, which will appear on HBO Max, restoring the original director’s vision before the film was handed off to Joss Whedon to complete—a version of the film that seems to have left no one happy.

Affleck had previously signed to direct and star in a standalone film called The Batman, but ultimately left the project after saying that its demands were taking too much of a personal toll. At the time he parted ways with the film, he was also dealing with the end of his marriage to Jennifer Garner and struggling with alcoholism. “I showed somebody The Batman script,” Affleck told the New York Times. “They said, ‘I think the script is good. I also think you’ll drink yourself to death if you go through what you just went through again.’”

Barbara Muschietti, the producer of The Flash (and sister and longtime collaborator of the director), told Vanity Fair she had worried this might make him reluctant to return at all. “There have been some all sorts of stories and things he said himself about having a very hard time playing Batman, and it had been difficult for him,” she said. “I think it was more about a difficult time in his life. When we approached him, he’s now in a very different time in his life. He was very open to it, which was a bit of a surprise to us. It was a question mark.”

“We are all human and go through great times in our lives and terrible times in our lives,” she added. “Right now he’s in a place where he can actually enjoy being Batman.” Plus, he doesn't have to carry the entire movie. “It's a pivotal role, but at the same time it’s a fun part,” she said.

Filmmaker Matt Reeves (The Planet of the Apes movies) is now making The Batman with Pattinson as the lead. That film was in the midst of shooting when the coronavirus lockdown hit, and production is set to resume in the fall.

Although a standalone film for Batfleck didn’t happen, his admirers continue to champion Affleck’s take on the character.

With The Flash, they’ll get to see him answer the Bat-Signal at least once more.

I fucking hate muliverse films.  But I’ll be happy to see Keaton on the big screen again.

[samclownchester]

The day is June 15 2020

The time is 3 am

The situation is that the world has fallen into a pandemic of Covid-19, and my job closed down in March, leaving me with lots of time on my hands. Despite my doubts, I fell back into Supernatural, deep into it, and I am now rewatching it. I thought it would be fun to try and see how much I could remember from earlier seasons before I watch them all

I have watched up to 1x14 at this point, so those episodes are fresh in my mind, but lets see what else I remember

Season 1

“Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days”

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business”

Sam’s girlfriend dies just like his mom did

Their dad is the point of the season but is only actually in like 3 episodes

Sam and Dean break up but get back together

Sam has VISIONS and moves things with his MIND

Meg is a demon, Sam has a bit of a crush on her

They find their dad, but don’t kill the demon

colt

Season 2

Dean dies in a car crash, John sells his soul for him and dies

Bobby Singer is best dad

Ellen and Jo and Ash exist

Purple Nurple

Gordon?

Lots of psychics! Sam can make friends??

Jk, it’s the hunger games

Sam gets stabbed in the back

Dean sells his soul for him

They kill Azazel I think??

“I have … demon blood in me?”

Season 3

Saving Dean from his demon deal

Groundhog day episode where Dean dies everyday

Gabriel?? (trickster)

Blonde Ruby (let’s hear it for Laurel Lance!)

Very short because there was a writers’ strike that year

Hell hounds

Season 4

Dean was “gripped tight and raised from perdition” by Castiel

Sam has a new gf! (Surprise, it’s Ruby in a new body! :o)

Why does she pretend to not know Dean when he first shows up? Is she lying to Sam about who she is this whole time?? Hmmm I wish I remembered

Time travel?? (Sam doesn’t get to come ☹ )

Demon blood

Demon blood detox ☹

Let’s kill Lilith

“Because it had to be you Sam”

“The boy with the demon blood”

Season 5

Dean is the Michael sword

Sam is messed up, trying to quit demon blood

Cas rebelled, and he did it, all of it, for Dean

Adam Winchester is a person who exists

Also I think this is the season with Jesse the antichrist who never shows up again it’s fine.

He only existed so they could have important conversations about nature vs nurture which honestly they should’ve just saved from when Jack was born but they didn’t know that was gonna happen

More time travel??

Future

Cas likes drugs

Team Free Will

Samifer

Fall into the cage

Dean goes to live with Lisa and Ben

The end?

Season 6

Cas is working with Crowley and spying on Dean but not talking to him like the pining idiot that he is

Dean can’t help but inspect monster happenings in town

Soulless!Sam

Dean finds Soulless Sam

Hanging out with some old dude?

Get Sam’s soul back

Meet Death?

Find out Cas is working with Crowley

 O: Ultimate betrayal

???

Season 7

Leviathans

Godstiel?? Why?? Idr

Hallucifer

Please give Sam therapy

Sam goes to an asylum

Cas takes Sam’s trauma??    

More leviathans

Dick?

Charlie!

Kevin!

Garth? Did we know him before. Idk, we know him now

Dean and Cas go to purgatory!

When does Cas die and walk into the lake? That’s before they go to Purgatory, right? Hmmmm but how does he come back

 Cas is Emmanuel and has a wife? Is that in this season?

Season 8

Dean gets out of purgatory!

But no Cas

Sam had a girlfriend and a dog! Nice!

Not nice, he ignored Kevin and didn’t look for Dean

Like they agreed on, but whatever ok sue him for trying to be happy

Dean has a vampire boyfriend

Not so high and mighty about killing every monster are we now, huh Dean?

Right? I don’t remember, this is a conversation that happens though

He does end up killing Benny though, doesn’t he? huh

Cas is back from Purgatory! But he’s got Secrets ™

“I’m gonna become a hunter”

Then he stays in the old folks home and next time we see him he’s all wacky and likes to watch the bees?

Megstiel

You’re just playing sorry

Am I right?? I don’t remember, but all of this happens at some point

Who even is the big bad? What are we fighting? Idk

Oh we have to save Kevin from Crowley and he reads the demon tablet. Only eats hotdogs, doesn’t shave. I love him please keep him safe.

Spoilers, they don’t

Right! The trials, Sam does the trials, they “purify” him

The angels fall, but Sam doesn’t complete the trials and almost dies.

Season 9

Sam almost dies, Dean is like “right, nonconsensual possession is clearly the best answer for this”

Human!Cas, he drinks lots of water. Steve.

§  “you can’t stay here” :o

Abaddon I think?? What was the point

Crowley is sort of our friend now and I think we meet Rowena? Idr

Kevin dies ☹

“What is the upside to me being alive” – Sam

§  Maybe in this season, maybe not. Who knows?

Cas is a cannibal (eats grace) and becomes and angel again at some point

§  Hannah exists

We all hate Metatron

Cain??

Metatron stabs Dean and Sam puts his dead body on the bed

Demon!Dean

Season 10

Demon!Dean and Crowley are living it up!

Sam and Cas try to cure Dean

Charlie and Rowena interact a lot I think

Book of the Damned

When did they find the bunker? Men of Letters? All that? Idr, anyway they have it at this point

Dean kills lots of people

Charlie dies ☹

Dean blames Sam which is unfair and I hate it

They get the mark off and The DarknessTM is release

Season 11

The Baby episode exists

Really weird sexual tension between Dean and Amara while she’s still kind of a child, no one knows why. Please stop.

Cas gets called expendable and then makes poor life decisions

Lbr, though, Misha is the only other one who can play Lucifer with the same spirit as Mark Pellegrino. Sorry Jared, it’s the truth.

Eileen!! <3

Chuck is God :o

Let’s kill Amara!

Except we don’t kill her, she just needs to bond with her bro.

Here, have your mom back

Season 12

Mom????

British Men of Letters

Lucifer F*cks

Boy I didn’t think this would turn into what it did, let me tell you

Winchesters escape from Federal Prison

Cas says “I love you”

But like, the plural you. No homo.

Sam admits he lost his drive to lead, then finds it again and leads hunters against the dang brits! Hooray!

Oh shoot Lucifer wants custody of his kid!

FIGHT

Fatality – Castiel

Fatality – Mary

Oh no wait she didn’t die she’s just trapped.

Season 13

Jack jack jack jack jack

3 dads, all at various levels of dadding

Actually 2 excellent dads, one dad who is too emotionally damaged to dad but he tries sometimes

Yeah Cas pisses of a cosmic entity. That won’t come back to bite him

Jack just wants to be good

Wayward sisters was not picked up which sucks

Apocalypse world

Rowena is our friend now

Custody Battle!!! Who wins? Not Lucifer

We saved the day! And a ton of people

Literally they made a whole deal of the people being like “We won’t leave our home or our cause” and then they got back to Sam and Dean’s world, didn’t have archangel grace and were just like “meh, actually this place is cool. We don’t have to worry about going back”

Psych! We’re not done yet! Luci wants his kid

And Michael wants his planet

Season 14

Michael! Dean

Jack dies

But it’s ok, we fixed you, just don’t use your powers

Oh shoot he used his power

Nick is somehow alive

In love with Lucifer

Burn his ass!!

Oh Mary disapproves

RIP Mary

RIP Dean being a father, now he’s gonna murder

Hi Chuck, nice of you to show up

Oh no.

Season 15

Chuck sucks

Dean and Cas break up ☹

Sam has visions again

But he’s not psychic, it’s just the piece of his soul inside Chuck

Resurrect your girlfriend! Yeah!!

Jack is eating hearts, but it’s ok, Death told him to do it.

Garden of Eden?

Get your soul back boy!

 And cry

Honorable mentions (Aka these happened but idr when)

Sam falls in love with a werewolf and then has to kill her and MAN Jared really brought the tears

AU where Supernatural is a TV show

Finding out Supernatural is a book series and the author is Chuck!

Crowley becomes helpful mostly

Crowley has a son??

 Meet grandpa

Ellen, Jo, and Ash die

Bobby dies

literally everybody dies

Kill Hitler

They meet that Jewish guy with the Golem who pretended to flirt with Dean at some point.

Jimmy Novak was a devout man who deserved a lot better than he got

Claire Novak is so cool

She moves in with Jody

When do we meet Jody? She’s just always kinda been there?

Gabriel, I don’t remember anything about Gabriel

The council of the Gods’ happens and then I think Gabriel dies in that episode?? Idr

The Four Horsemen

Death, Pestilence, War, Famine

“You’re not hungry Dean”

 I literally do not remember what was happening with these guys

Also, they killed Death, killed a reaper, that reaper became the new Death. I remember when all that happened I just didn’t feel like putting it in the timeline.

[deletingpoint]

destiel fic recs part 3

Part 1

Part 2

I’ve added heart to the ones i really-really love for perhaps personal reasons, but otherwise these are all beautiful fics and you won’t regret reading them! (same goes for my previous lists obvi :))

<10 k

The Secret Santa of Cubicle Land by followyourenergy  Castiel Novak has never loved the workplace Secret Santa tradition, but he loves watching his coworker (and his very straight, secret crush) Dean Winchester’s enthusiastic responses to his daily gifts. Dean is so enthusiastic that he declares he’s going to ask his Secret Santa on a date.

Dry in the Downpour by almaasi  Dean was in half a mind – nay, three-quarters of a mind – just to turn back, go home, make coffee, call in sick and watch wrestling and porn all day, when the rain stopped abruptly.

He glanced around in surprise, then looked up.

An umbrella. Someone had put an umbrella over him.

Adagio by noangelsinthegarrison 

<3 “His name’s Dean," Cas sighs, "And he’s really stupidly attractive, and when he dances, he feels it, you know? And it makes me feel like I know him, even though I don’t. He makes me feel like… like he’s dancing just for me.”Gabriel rolls his eyes, “Wow, you’re over-dramatic when you’re horny.”

He Thought He Was Reckless by MajorEnglishEsquire  Cas settles back and rolls his head on the seat. Tugs on the corner of Dean’s jacket.

Sits there. Pathetic-looking and unnecessarily bleeding.

(a.k.a.: Dean is a super Soft Boy.)

The Age-long Rivalry Between Pilots and Engineers by Winglesss <3 Living on a space station isn´t easy. Especially when you share your quarters with someone like Castiel Novak. 

Irresistible by raths_kitten

<3 Castiel is a lonely wizard longing for a familiar to bond with. Dean just really wants a taste of this pie that’s luring him in somehow. 

so this is the miracle by deanniker He doesn't believe in magic, or fairytales, or happy endings. If someone were to ask his opinion, he'd say that the ball is nothing more than a clever stunt, something meant to drum up popular support for the new king, that would inevitably come to naught when he married some foreign princess.

No one asks him his opinion, of course.

10-50 k

A Brief Glimpse by cloudyjenn  Castiel is utterly convinced he can't love anyone, but Sam, so when a strange occurrence at a carnival shows him otherwise, he doesn't know what to do. 

Unholy Ground by teacass (Fushigi)  “And I’m not a vandal,” the man shoots back. “My name’s Dean. And I think there’s been a misunderstanding—”

“No,” Castiel hisses. “I have watched you. I have seen you creep around with your shovel and your gun and I have seen you trying to desecrate the graves, my graves, so do not talk to me about a misunderstanding—” Dean holds his hands up and shakes his head. “Shit, man, I swear I’m not trying to—” Castiel has had enough, though, so he flicks his wrist and pushes Dean over one of the tombstones and down to the ground. Dean falls with a grunt and tries to stand up quickly, but Castiel keeps him pinned to the ground with a raise of his eyebrow. “I am the guardian of this cemetery,” he states when he stops and looks down on the struggling man. “I will not be made a fool of, especially not by someone like you.” 

Chili Peppers by justanothersong for literaryoblivion  Dr. Winchester hears an off hand comment from one of his students and find himself browsing a website dedicated to rating university professors. He's not surprised by his rating -- but is a little miffed to see the department chair has an even better one. Clearly, something needs to be done about this. 

The Choice by RedheadedSuperhero  To solidify the alliance between the Houses of Veenah and Winchester, Castiel agrees to marry one of Lord John’s sons. It’s not like he has any say in that matter anyway – as a marriage of convenience is the fate of almost any royal omega. He is even grateful that the king of Winchester had offered him to make his own choice between his three children. From all he had heard, Castiel already likes the scholar Samuel from afar; he certainly prefers him to the infamous Demon Knight or Adam, who is hardly more than a pup. So, he believes his decision is already made as he travels towards his new home.

But unfortunately, things go horribly wrong, and Castiel finds himself alone in an unclaimed forest, with only a strange hunter to help him find his way the castle of Winchester. And by the time he arrives, he might have already changed his mind.

Don't Be So Charming by PieDarling  - Very loosely based on the movie “Prince Charming” -

Prince Dean was always meant to be fortunate, all the fairies and witches in the kingdom of his father would shower him with gifts. However, one of them had a deep darkness in her heart and out of selfishness cursed him instead, condemning him to have everyone fall under his charm and never know true love. His only hope is to break the curse before his 21st birthday.

At first, Dean is lost. How can he fall in love when everyone he meets falls under his charm? He finds hope in a magic coin his mother left him and in search of that hope he sets out on a journey with his childhood friend, Castiel, as his companion. Castiel is the only person Dean has ever met to not be affected by his curse, he trusts him more than anyone else.

Manifest Destiny by KreweOfImp  The year is 1899. The Wild West is in its dying days—but don’t tell that to the outlaws of Eastern Kansas. The gangs are Winchester and Novak, and the feud is bitter and blood-soaked.

The families were friendly once upon on a time, but that time is long gone, and when Michael Novak, the second-in-command to the Novaks, sees the opportunity to have Dean, golden boy and heir apparent to the Winchester gang at his mercy, he takes it. They have history, Michael and Dean, and he’s been waiting on this opportunity for a long time.

What Michael didn’t bank on was that his cousin Castiel, the Novak gang’s resident scapegoat and outcast, would have some sympathy for the prisoner—let alone start to like him.

Eyes Like Knives by jennyfly for palominopup  When rockstar Dean Winchester comes home to Austin to play a stop on his sold-out tour, he's surprised after the encore by a hot cop barging backstage to deliver some awful news. Not only is Detective Castiel Novak the bearer of bad news, but he also wants to question Dean's estranged brother, Sam. Can a frantic police investigation over the course of a single weekend result in a lasting romance? Hey, this is fanfiction; why not? 

Knocking on Heaven's Door by sir_kingsley  Dean Winchester left Castiel Novak in pieces when he broke off their engagement 21 days before they were supposed to get married. Now, a year later, Castiel has put himself back together and is moving on with his life and he seems to be doing okay. Until Dean comes knocking on his door at ass-o'clock in the morning. Now Cas must come to terms with the mess of a man who broke his heart but somehow still... has it. 

Shadow and Storm by zaphodsgirl  One night, a mysterious visitor appears in young Prince Dean's bedroom, and he suddenly finds himself transported to an abandoned replica of his home in an unknown land. He learns quickly that the borders are finite, and none may leave without incurring the wrath of the guardian: a dragon the people call Storm.

Left with no choice, Dean adapts to life as the others have, tending to the animals and working the land to survive. As he grows up, the life he knew as a prince seems more and more distant, until a new person arrives that he remembers from his childhood. Shaken by this arrival, Dean’s desire to escape returns anew, and he discovers more than he wanted to know about the Shadowlands and its occupants -- especially about the mysterious guardian of the castle, Castiel.

Such Familiar Magic by saltnhalo  When solitary witch Castiel finds an injured dog unconscious in his garden, he takes it in. He's expecting to heal it, look after it for a few days, then perhaps return it to its owners.

He's not expecting it to be one of the strongest familiars he's ever met.

The Greatest International Love Story the World Has Ever Seen by MalMuses  Dean wasn’t the type of person who did this kind of thing. He just wasn’t. GISH?? Ugh. The whole thing was just further proof that Dean would do anything his brother wanted him to do. Why else would he be in a Stormtrooper costume, calling up his ex-girlfriend for a private yoga class? Had he been stuck in a rut that long? Given that he’d been pining for the same freakin’ guy, his professor and coworker no less, for three long years… maybe.

Cas was definitely the type of person who did this kind of thing, not that many people knew that. He was one of the most well-respected professors at KSU. His students and coworkers didn’t need to know that he was captain of a GISH team, or that he knitted kinky accessories and made art with his online friends. His TA certainly didn’t need to know either. Just professionalism, of course. Nothing at all to do with the failed attempt at a relationship, three years of pining, and frequent inappropriate daydreams.

A two-person love triangle with online friendships, costumes, and a lot of glitter.

Scintilla by WinchestersRaven  Dean Winchester: ghost hunter extraordinaire! Call now for all your paranormal needs!

He cringes at the flyer. It's tacky and cliche, but Sam insisted it would bring in more customers. And dammit, if he wasn't right--this new case sounds like a doozy.

Dean’s a medium with a unique gift of being an empath. Seeing and speaking with the dead is as normal to him as speaking with his brother, Sam. A new job leads him to Georgia, Castiel Novak, and a historical home that’s tucked away on a mountain. As he investigates, he not only uncovers the secrets of his client’s family but also one of his own that he may not recover from. One that has the potential to destroy the budding relationship that is quickly forming between him and Castiel. Will they make it through to see the light on the other side? Or will the darkness that surrounds the home claim them as its next victims?

If At First You Don't Succeed (Destroy All Evidence That You Ever Tried) byjustkeeponwriting “Three days, Cas,” Dean groaned. “You’re not going to call her tomorrow and scare her off, like you always do! Or worse, tonight! That has ‘creeper’ written all over it.”Or, the one where Dean pretends to be a woman who likes to text Cas in order to teach him a lesson, and finds that he’s way in over his head. (Inspired by How I Met Your Mother's episode 4x21, "The Three Days Rule".)

Pineapple on Pizza by HigherMagic In a world where everyone is colorblind until meeting their soulmate, Castiel suddenly sees color during one of his concerts.

Lois Lane Never Had it So Hard by FunnyWings <3 It started with the most humiliating picture of Dean Winchester's life and just snowballed from there.When a sinister new big bad moves into Lawrence Kansas, will the local heroes (and maybe a few villains) be able to band together and save their home?

Get a Whiff of This by bendingsignpost <3 When no good deed goes unpunished, Dean ends up sentenced to community service for physically defending another Omega at his job. That is, at his former job. It's all a steaming pile of shit, and that's exactly what he has to clean up at the joint animal shelter and clinic he's been assigned to.With a face full of allergies and a horrific mood, all Dean has to do is get through six weeks of this sinus-assaulting torture. That's not so easy with a smartass Alpha receptionist, but at least the weird Beta vet might just end up being kinda cool.

Dean Winchester is Not Afraid of Ghosts by Desirae When photographer Dean Winchester is not capturing momentous occasions like weddings and graduations with his Nikon, he is moonlighting as the cameraman for the South Shore Paranormal; a ghost hunting series on YouTube, headed by his brother Sam, and Sam's best friend Gabriel.Despite his brother's adamance, Dean Winchester does not believe in ghosts. And no one is going to change his mind. Certainly not a scam artist like Castiel Novak. Castiel is a self-proclaimed medium... and Gabriel's brother. When a member of the SSP team has to leave the crew, Castiel is the replacement, much to Dean's dismay. But the more they work together, the more Dean is drawn to Castiel, the man stirring up protective instincts usually only reserved for family.What happens when Dean realizes that Castiel is not the fake he always thought he was, but instead, a generous soul that Dean is rapidly falling in love with?

Looking For Group by athaclena  Dean Winchester is in love with his best friend, a man he has never met, who goes by the handle AngelofThursday. Problem is, Thursday values his privacy and refuses to meet. Dean buries himself in his work at his bakery Slice of Pi and in computer games, desperately trying to move on from a man he can never have.

James Novak has problems of his own. Trying to cling onto what sense of security he can, he drifts around the city from café to coffee-shop to bar, using their wi-fi to keep his online footprint anonymous. He falls in lust with The Beautiful Man at his favourite coffee-shop, Study/Break, and turns to his best friend The_Michaelsword for advice.

A two-person love triangle for the digital age.

Time Still Exists by starespressos Castiel Novak has dreamed of participating in a theater dancing project forever. When a spot opens at Rowena MacLeod's theater, he jumps right in -- even though it means taking over from someone who has recently passed away. Soon enough, he meets Dean, who spends almost as much time at the theater as Castiel does but refuses to share any details about himself. Castiel is intrigued by him, and not only because Dean is the first person in a long time to treat him with anything less than admiration. As their friendship and the mystery around Dean deepen over time, Castiel’s perception of both himself and the universe is changed forever. 

Falling Through The Ice by athaclena for JupiterJames  Dean's finally retired from the Dallas Stars, and he's back at his original home ice-rink for a publicity stunt for his autobiography. Problem is, he has to do something that terrifies him. Second problem is, he has to do it in front of the man he was best friends with as a kid, until the ice cracked under him and he was left on the wrong side of an increasingly large chasm.

A story about smashing expectations (and some pumpkins), what it means to be brave, and how to follow your heart. Also, smut.

Genie in a Bottle by thepopeisdope

<3 When Dean finds (okay, steals) a bottle containing a strange, glowing blue substance, he does so thinking it's a cool novelty, at best. It didn't exactly cross his mind that the substance might be a living being, let alone a grumpy, sarcastic, perpetually-underdressed genie waiting for a new master. But now that he has a bona fide genie at his disposal, well-what better chance will he have to help things along with Lisa?

Except, things don't always go as expected, relationships are complicated, magic is never the solution, and sometimes the person you want isn't the person you need.

Between the Lines by JhanaMay Environmental rights activist Castiel Novak may not have grown up on the Plains, but he has thrown himself into protecting and conserving South Dakota’s natural treasures as if he was a native. When Dean Winchester, Hollywood’s modern day John Wayne, comes to South Dakota to film his next movie, Cas is more focused on preventing the environmental damage Dean’s movies cause than hoping for a chance to meet him. After Cas makes some negative comments on social media about the actor’s authenticity as a cowboy, he is invited to spend a week alone with the star, roughing it in the wilderness. Cas sets out to prove exactly how fake Dean Winchester really is, but he isn’t expecting to find out that Dean is a troubled man running from a past that is just as difficult as his own.

50-100 k

so bitter and so sweet by superhoney  Dean has known about the family curse ever since it claimed the life of his mother: anyone who dares to love a Winchester is fated to die. When he takes a chance on love and loses his husband Benny, his belief in its power only grows stronger.

Two years later, a late-night phone call from his brother Sam sends both of their lives spinning wildly out of control. Then Officer Cas Novak arrives in town, looking into the disappearance of Sam’s girlfriend Ruby, and starts asking questions Sam and Dean can’t answer. Complicating matters even further, Dean feels an immediate, overwhelming connection to the intense, blue-eyed source of their problems.

Dealing with all the secrets, the lies, and a brother slowly crumbling under the weight of his guilt doesn’t leave much time for romance, but as Cas gets closer to the truth, he also gets closer to Dean.

Will you be my ten inch hero? by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes) When John Winchester kicks Dean out, after he saw him kissing another boy, and Dean sees that Sam has a perfect life at Stanford without him, Dean starts a new life in Santa Cruz. He works at a tiny shop as a cook, has found some friends there, and is overall happy enough. That changes when Castiel comes into his shop and his Co-worker Azara, who has a different man every night, starts flirting with him right in front of Dean. Not that he would be jealous or anything, but there is something about Castiel that makes him weak in the knees. Only that Castiel would never want him back, right?

Reality of Dreams by sternchencas for my sister  Dean Winchester has been living a boring life. At least until his brother is missing, the police think he has something to do with it, and a group of people who call themselves 'Liberi Somniorum' and live in an underground bunker ask him to join them so they can teach him how to use his dreaming abilities. As if that isn't bad enough, the police also took his car and then there's this guy in a trenchcoat who's guarding him, and some dark secret. Dean does his best to convince himself it's a dream. But somehow, sometimes, dreams can be very real, and this time, he just can't wake up. 

Green Corners by rustling_pages

<3 After the death of his son, there is nothing left for Dean other than his garden market. His days are tough, the nights are tougher, but at least there's a reason to get up in the morning. And with the new boom on do-it-yourself garden magic, his business is going okay.

Amidst the passing of time, there is only one thing that distracts him from functioning like a normal human being: Diagonally across the street, in the display window of that traditional Herb and Potion shop, plants are dying in masses.

Storming in to confront the owner goes differently than he imagined, though. Castiel Novak may be the kind of guy who wears old-fashioned mage robes and keeps his shop in sweltering heat, but he's also a talented herbalist, the kindest soul Dean has ever met, and utterly beautiful.

Not that Dean is ready for anything other than friendship.

(Not that Cas doesn’t get sick a bit too often.)

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets <3 Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen.Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

Turn the World to Gold by superhoney, teacass (Fushigi)

<3 Just as Dean is starting to get comfortable at his new mining job in Nevada, the site is shaken by the announcement of a six-week visit from a team of consultants hired to make changes to the practices and procedures of the mine. Among that team is Castiel Novak, one of the most coolly infuriating, stuck-up, unfairly attractive men Dean has ever met.

The friction between them comes to a head during an unexpected but scorching hot makeout session at a company picnic, and they soon fall into a pattern of hooking up at the site or after work at Castiel’s hotel. But it’s just sex, or so they keep telling themselves. Castiel is only in Nevada for six weeks. They’ll have their fun, and then it’ll be over. But as those six weeks go by and they gradually get to know each other, both of them find themselves wondering if there might be a chance it could become something more.

Where the Lightning Splits the Sea by thepopeisdope Seattle’s hero never fails to live up to his given nickname. Like an angel, he appears when he’s needed most, a miracle when none is expected; he gets in quick, then gets out quicker, and like the angel he is, he goes off to perform his miracles elsewhere, often without any link between one miracle and the next, aside from the fact that he shows up when someone needs help.That’s how Dean met him, after all. The Angel is the only reason he’s alive.And that’s also why Dean is more than a little bit in love with him.But when the Angel is suddenly defeated, Dean’s world turns on its head. His city is in a vacuum, heroless for the first time in years, and to make Dean’s life even harder, his roommate has turned quiet, withdrawn. Dean doesn’t know what happened to make Cas’ mood swing so drastically, but he wants nothing more than to see him happy again. Dean owes the Angel a debt. Choosing between the two isn’t an easy thing to do.When the Hunter is born, the balance becomes nearly impossible to keep up.

Pining Sickness; Or, Murder With One Stone by athaclena, iraeim New York, 1895. The rigid customs of the old century are beginning to fall away, allowing access to the professions for more people than just Omega men and Alpha women. Dean Winchester, the city’s first Alpha male Detective, uncovers evidence that a mysterious new illness killing mated couples might have its origins is the criminal rather than the medical.Castiel Novak is a respectable Omega doctor who has started to see patients dying cruelly of something he cannot cure or even effectively treat. Approached by the Detective to once again give his medical expertise, he is eager to work towards finding a cause and, he hopes, a cure for the unfortunate sufferers. But both men harbour a secret attraction towards the other, and the quest for the truth will stretch their relationship beyond its limits.A historical murder mystery set against a backdrop of a non-traditional Omegaverse.

Silver and Cold by superhoney The death of a young man in an apparent animal attack brings hunter Cas Novak to the small town of Sydnam, Maine. It doesn’t take long for him to realize he’s tracking a werewolf, but discovering the killer’s identity is no easy task. All signs point towards Dean Winchester, a lonely recluse who lives in the middle of the woods and whose antagonistic behaviour does little to lessen Cas’ suspicions.As the investigation drags on, their mutual distrust gives way to a wary alliance. Cas’ instincts warn him that Dean is hiding something, but as he uncovers the man beneath the mystery, his professional interest becomes far more personal. Praying his faith in Dean isn’t misplaced, Cas races to catch the killer before the next full moon rises and another life is abruptly cut short.

The Horse-King by cloud_wolfbane, opal_bullets  When orphans Sam and Dean Winchester get jobs in Horsetown, they figure that being stable boys is just their lot in life. But when King Metatron takes a peculiar liking to an even more peculiar horse they find themselves in the middle of an intrigue they barely understand, leading to an adventure full of magic and mystery, faith and betrayal, and maybe - if they survive it - love. 

In Some Sacred Place by Hellosaidthemoon, schmerzerling  Dean has cystic fibrosis, a brutal respiratory disease that means he can’t cut it in the life his father chose for him, despite his very best efforts. He also has a give ‘em hell attitude and a dogged crush on his childhood best friend. Castiel has an absent father, a stellar GPA, a comprehensive ten-year plan, and—a lot of reservations about all this. 

Should've Just Asked by Annie D (scaramouche) Despite their age gap and differing social circles, Castiel has struck up a warm friendship with Mary Winchester, a wealthy widowed socialite. When Castiel needs a place to stay, Mary invites him into her house, where there’s loads of spare room. Castiel’s aware that they make an odd pair, but he doesn’t fully realize how things look to outsiders, especially to Mary’s eldest son. All Dean Winchester sees is that his mom has apparently hooked up with a hot young guy (who is totally Dean’s type) and that makes things… weird.

100+ k

The Brave and the Bold by manifestingwings  In a world where dragons reign over the mountains and terror looms in the streets of the city of Lavendel, Dean Winchester never expected his main problem to be a surly thief with eyes like the sea and a rare smile. As Captain of the Guard, he knows he has to arrest him for his crimes, but there may be bigger things at stake… 

Shot Through The Heart by peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim)  As a hunter Dean finds himself more often than not relying on the help of the Men of Letters. Most of the time that's not much of a problem - if it wasn't for Castiel, the smartass bookworm with the piercing blue eyes, the messy hair and the rude attitude.

He's been an annoying thorn in Dean's side since day one - and the hunter doesn't see that change anytime soon!

Everyone's a Critic by Englandwouldfall  The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

Dreaming in Digital by Ltleflrt for jupiter_james  Set in a Cyberpunk world where global warming and climate change has driven most of the human population into domed cities, Sam and Dean hunt rogue tech and science experiments gone wrong in the shadows, protecting the lives of those the government doesn't care about anymore. On a trip to the dump to scavenge for valuables Dean finds Castiel, an Angel Industries sex bot, which is worth his weight in credits. But when he turns the sex bot on, he learns that Castiel is sentient.

Artificial Intelligence is illegal, and for good reason, but Cas doesn't put off dangerous vibes. That doesn't stop Sam from researching his creators while Dean's off making friends with the android. If there's someone out there creating a robot army unconstrained by the 3 rules of robotics, Sam's going to make sure the operation is shut down for good.

Castiel just wants to exist. He wants to read and work in the Winchester's greenhouse and have movie nights with Dean. But he also wants to understand. Himself. His unexpected reaction to Dean. What it it means to feel.

A Graced Kingdom by angvlicmish

<3 this is a wip but i can’t not add it!!! Ten years ago, the Northern Continent was at peace, angels and humans living side by side until the human King Winchester of Torrin waged war against the angels in an attempt to wipe them out - an attempt that almost succeeded. However, to this day some angels still remain in hiding and with an unpredictable turn of events one of them finds himself as the personal guard to King Winchester’s firstborn son, Prince Dean. With a strange ability no angel has had before - to hide his own wings - no one knows that they have just let their greatest enemy into the heart of their kingdom.

Alone and struggling to deal with being surrounded by the ones who slaughtered his people, Castiel comes head to head with the Crown Prince. But what he finds within the man is not what he expected and they soon become each other’s only comfort.

Will Dean be the strength Castiel needs to pull through or will he be the weakness that will tear everything to pieces?

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hot take: 13x23 is 5x18 “Point of No Return” but they’re married and they’ve adopted the anti-Christ. And also no Adam.

counterpoint: Jack is Adam but filtered through 9 years of Dabb regret for introducing both Jesse and Adam to the story and then constantly being asked about them when neither were intended to play any further part in the narrative but THIS is the child he would sculpt from that experience if Buckleming are gonna force more creepy baby stories on him :P 

5x18 starts with Dean defining himself by all the things that are the dismal tools of his trade and core identity, boxing them up to give away (technically the Lisa exchange was also written as the opening of the episode but it got shuffled over one episode to be the end of the previous, which I think is a solid decision but I’ll throw it in here for sake of argument). Dean is primarily defined by his leather jacket, gun and car keys, all of which hark back to John and the identity that he crafted to be half a John knock off, half what he thought John would want Dean to be which may be better/different than John but only to John’s own specifications. Stripped down of all that he wrote his “where we’re going we don’t need roads” letter to Sam and Bobby, meaning for that to be pretty much it.

In the open of 13x23 the “good times” define Dean in a completely different way. He has Sam and ~a~ Bobby, but also his mom, Cas and Jack. Cas plays a pretty small role in the very open of the episode, not being included in that letter, and it makes sense to me in the way that Cas is still very much a fellow solider rather than a family member - he’s very much deep in the stuff that even just the next year will have solidified him to Dean as so important that season 6 hurts like it does, but they’re still in that forging fire and having crucial bonding conversations - my favourite from season 5 is literally in the previous episode. 

And it’s interesting in the open of 13x23 that we see a sort of ~normal life resumes~ period for them, which includes Dean driving around hunting, but he’s doing it with Sam and Cas and Jack, and it’s so wildly different from the grim identity as a hunter that he inherited from John. They’ve made it their own way to the point that they have an angel that’s got their backs and a lil nephilim baby who is making a normal werewolf hunt devastatingly easy to the point of being kinda comical. (Obviously that’s not a lasting thing since Jack is depowered by the end but they got to enjoy it). And this leads to a dead opposite version of Dean’s suicide note, where instead he daydreams out loud to a present Sam, taking their life from a POV where he can think about a HAPPY endgame, the beach holiday, the drinks with lil umbrellas, and Cas is there. Then he wanders off and is parental towards Jack.

The whole Lisa and Ben endgame was also one of isolation and removing hunting and personal life, but the Good Times construct a world where Dean has it all - present parental figures rather than an absent memory, his brother, a spouse and a kid. Jack overlapping with Dean’s parenting of Ben in his emotional landscape doesn’t subtract from his life - Jack’s the reason he can even wonder if he and Sam and Cas can take his beach vacation he has been craving out loud basically since John died. Where they’re going they still need the car but only to get around for good reasons, you know? 

So these being the two underlying mindsets Dean has before attempting to/actually saying yes to Michael is fascinating because one of them strips him bare as removing all his personhood, putting the weight of the world on his shoulders, and painting him the idea of a paradise where the lucky few survive and everyone lives happily in Heaven. Michael’s endgame is in Pamela and Leah’s descriptions that convince Dean in the 2 previous episodes - that maybe it’s not so bad that some people get to go to Heaven. But Leah then goes evangelical club of lucky 1000 people style Heaven ascending, and this is where the spoilers about Michael in season 14 overlap with her message so obviously 5x17 might be a key thematic episode as well, as 5x16, 17 and 18 make Michael’s mission and intent so extremely clear. (5x13 too but brr, there’s so much that happens in that exchange I’d need another post :P).

AU Michael sees them as Paradise AU, while they’ve been viewing his world as Apocalypse AU, and I think those 2 perspectives are a very clear meta commentary on the way that his vision was presented back in season 5 as well - that he was going for that full Christian judgement day where the sheep and the goats are separated or whatever, and the planet is cleansed. He already attempted it in the Apocalypse AU but it clearly went awry and it sounds from spoilers like he’s gonna have a second go at realising this properly? I haven’t really been paying clear attention to the spoilers but it stood out to me having Dabb tease the sort of stuff I’ve been describing because that was barely implicit in season 13 since of course AU Michael made such a hash of the apocalypse on his first go at it. But of course for budget reasons he’s being more careful and less openly destructive in Paradise AU. And the very fact that the main SPN verse is Paradise AU to him is utterly fascinating when layered over season 5 and what we glean of Michael’s plan post-Lucifer killing, which our original Michael seems to see as an irritating first step even back then. 

And then to get to season 13, Dean in this wonderful happy good place is going to be the time he ends up saying Yes because it’s not the weight of the world on his shoulders - I mean, yeah, it is, but. It’s the weight of his family. And Sam and Jack are the ones who are taken - the haemorrhaging brothers Zach casually used as leverage in 5x18 - and we get Dean bargaining with AU Michael just like he bargained with Zach and Michael in 5x18 to worm his way to a change of mind and a “no”, he ends up in the place where to save his brother and son the only option is a yes in another room.

Carver being Carver - and we have his whole showrunning to use as a focus lens on this - went the route of that codependency debate about whether Dean would even care to save Adam or just Sam’s sweet bacon and manipulated Adam into feeling like they wouldn’t care, that they were the cause of all his problems, and Adam was caught in the middle, lied to, and wanting to see his mom again and Zach’s abuse of him in this way to get what he wants is the mirror of Lucifer getting to Jack and trying to prove he can be a good father while attempting to sweet talk Jack enough to agree to zap them off Earth and away from Michael’s plan. It DOESN’T get framed as a Sam and Dean us or them, the break comes before that when Jack for himself sees Lucifer being an abusive ass, and disowns him, and rather than a loss of Adam it’s a distinctive gaining of Jack as a permanent family feature. 

The confrontation with him, Sam and Lucifer goes on to finish making that extremely clear, with Sam and Jack competing to die for each other - not for Dean - and showing the bonds and strength they have as their own father and son relationship that has grown outside of the Sam n Dean codependency that Michael manipulated to make it look like even in the last moment they had “lost” Adam to it, rather than him stealing him from under their noses. They did actually intend to rescue him, though I think the staging of it was more like a careless moment of Dean helping Sam through the door first, it wasn’t a Huge Choice To Ditch Adam - though that careless priority of Sam comes back around in 6x11 as well so it’s not like a non-element, it was still not like, a Fuck You Adam I Only Care About Sam. 

Obviously in 13x23 with Jack the focus of the abduction and Sam leaping in on it HEROICALLY, there’s of course the sense that is heightened for us the audience that Sam is in trouble as well but while 5x18 had a Save Adam thing and this was a Save Jack thing, in every other way the emotional lines come down about family as a unit not a playing favourites game OR any commentary whatsoever on codependency except in its absence, while 5x18 is one of the only episodes to even actually use that word to describe Sam n Dean. It happened to be Sam and Jack in this situation but any combination of his peeps could have triggered this response in Dean, I feel. This is just the narratively neat way it played out.

And, of course, to get to the worst part… Which i still can’t even handle even when it’s been the focus of my icon for at least a month… Cas having to deal with Dean saying yes, after 5x18 was such a huge argument and point of pain between them, the one time Cas has turned violently on Dean was for attempting to give up and say yes to Michael in that episode, and it caused him a complete loss of faith, and was his impetus to help them get to Adam but in the cattiest fuck you possible in that last moment outside the warehouse. He describes going into the suicide mission to clear out the angels as not having to deal with watching Dean say yes, so of course in 13x23 his role is to chill with Dean as his accepted husband, third wheel, whatever else, part of the beach vacation, unquestioned part of the family, only for Dean to suddenly do the thing in front of him that in 5x18 had been their lowest point, personally and emotionally and interpersonally. When they had no faith in each other, and were both suicidal and miserable. 

And Cas is left in moments having to deal with losing potentially his entire family - son, brother, husband - to Lucifer and Michael, and it’s like they’re right back at the start. So much has changed and it’s not about faith, it’s not about believing in each other… He and Jack are part of this Winchester family and their investment is so different. But it’s seeing Dean make this sacrifice for family in front of him when of all of them Cas and Dean know the stakes of saying yes to Michael the best in the sense of having fought it out like that before. Because it’s the thing that forged them. That on the other side of it, Cas told Dean he wasn’t the broken shell of a man he thought he was or whatever he said in 5x21 when apologising for his lack of faith in his surprise that Dean hadn’t said yes. That last minute reconciliation and forging of what was the core of their bond from then on…

I think for Cas, still, his belonging is a bit more tenuous and Jack helps - he’s helped all of them by the brief “good times” montage at the start - but he’s always doubted his place in the family and the role he has and Dean’s always been his strongest connection, and having Jack and a settled few weeks to months with all these people around feels like a good way to give Cas time to feel truly in a part of the family unit. But even in 13x06 you can see they all have all their different bonds and dynamics and with Jack there it gives Cas another purpose and connection and Jack is also firmly connected to Sam and Dean. It’s sort of a joke that they’re all his dads when Rowena says it, but it’s seriously not untrue. For lack of any other relatable life experience and the circumstances of Jack’s existence, Dean, Cas and Sam are his fathers for the roles they’ve played to him, and those new bonds are like a thicker glue between TFW that none of them can really argue their way out of when it comes to emotional doubt about belonging. If Cas struggles to see the Bunker as home and his purpose on earth, then Jack DOES, and can clearly name his family, who matters to him, what he wants and where he wants to be, by the last moments that Lucifer steals his grace, Jack is avowedly a part of their world, and that’s a link Cas now has that sort of chains him there one step further than he ever had before that his doubts are going to have to listen to. And, you know, 10 seconds later Jack is gone and Sam is gone and Dean is saying yes to Michael. 

It makes Cas in 5x18 even more interesting just because this is the moment of shattering for him, and thinking back to how he was and what he stood to lose then is both deeply personal but so removed from what he has in season 13 that it’s hard to grasp at it, except that it’s so so connected to Dean and Dean only, that in the same way that losing Jack and Sam at once challenges the codependency set up that Zach presented via Adam, you have Cas no longer laser focused on Dean. And yet, of course. He stays behind with Dean to see him say yes, because in 5x18 that was his laser focus of emotional characterisation and as much as Sam and Jack mean to him, this is how to hurt Cas to his very very core. And still, even in this new family, shows the pressure point is Dean, and this very personal history they share when it comes to saying yes to Michael. How Dean represented Cas’s faith, and when they lost their faith they lost it together, and then gained it back together, because of each other. Leaving Cas to watch that happen… ugh, it’s illegal. I don’t even have words for the magnitude of what Dabb put him through and I’ve been wrangling with it all summer and now it’s September and it still hurts on a cosmic level :P 

And yet in the end the episodes end the same - hubris and losing a character to Michael, who still manages to sneak a victory and a vessel out of the scenario, even after Dean bargained with him and stabbed a smarmy adversary and seemed for a moment like the biggest badass and a fuckin hero to Sammy and defended their family and independence and place in the world. But in this case, Dean had already let Michael through the door, and he didn’t have to settle for a second rate vessel. Dean always bargains with himself and this time, the bargain that he gets to kill the bad guy in exchange for Michael’s cooperation failed, and like in both scenarios Michael took his vessel by force and trickery, because for Michael, the “yes” has always been a pretty hypothetical necessity in the first place >.> 

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

But with the dawn, a new day is born

For Rhia ( @pansexualcharity ). I hope you like it!

“Your sister is going to drive me crazy!” Aaron exclaimed, banging into their bedroom, arms full of clothes.

“Your sister is going to make me grey.” It wasn’t true, not any more, but it had been his response for years.

“Bit late for that. Here’s your suit. It passes Vic’s inspection.” He laid it on the bed next to where Robert was sitting reading. “Seriously though, you have to talk to her!”

“Mmm, because that has always had an effect.” He reaches out an arm to Aaron, tugging him closer. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He leaned down to kiss him. “You alright?” He was frowning because it wasn’t like Robert to be sitting around doing nothing. He was always on the move, doing something, even when it was too much. He’d never fully recovered from his wartime injuries, not completely, and every so often Aaron had to make him slow down.

“Just tired. You’re always telling me to take it easy. Thought I’d try listening to you for once.”

“Remind me to alert the newspapers.”

“Alright, sarky. So, what’s Vic done now?”

“Why were we stupid enough to agree to this party? Why didn’t you stop me saying yes?”

It had been Robert’s birthday when it came up. As a treat they’d opened some champagne, which always went to Aaron’s head. He’d been the one to mention it was almost thirty years since he and Robert had met. Within minutes Vic had suggested a party and he’d agreed. It was a decision he’d been regretting ever since as she had completely taken over everything.

“I did, but you’d decided it was a wonderful idea. I’m afraid, my love, this is all your own doing.” He runs a hand along Aaron’s arm, watching as he crinkles his nose up at the nickname.

“I don’t like that name, you know I don’t.”

“Which is precisely why I use it. A man has to have some  fun. The party will be fun too, you know it will. Besides, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that then?”

“Aaron, that’s not how a surprise works. You’ll find out.” He sits up and wraps his arms around him, “Thirty years eh? Not bad really is it?”

“You’ll do I suppose. Anyway Vic wants to know what kind of cake we want. I said I’d talk to you.”

“Given that pretty much everything is on the ration, I’ll be happy with any cake at all. You know, it could be worse, they could still live here, then there’d be no getting rid of her.”

“You loved it. So did I. Felt like the place had some life.” Robert sighs, he knows Aaron has never completely felt at home in the house, that it’s not his. It’s worse now Jacob’s away from home and it’s been a point of tension for a while, and only recently had he come to a decision which would work. At least he hoped it would.

“You might be right. Now, are you going to join me on here?”

“At three o’clock in the afternoon? That’s no way for the lord of the manor to behave.”

“Good job I’m not the lord of the manor then isn’t it. Come here. Suddenly I’m not so tired any more.”

*****

“I’m still not sure it’s right though.” Aaron says as he buttons up his shirt, Robert still laying in bed.

“I don’t know, seemed pretty right to me.”

“That’s not...I mean the party. With everything that’s going on...celebrating stuff seems a bit...I don’t know.”

“It’s just us, and our family.” Robert steps up behind him, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. “A few friends. It’s hardly a royal garden party. Life doesn’t stop because there’s a war on.”

“It’s just…”

“If he can get leave he will. We had that letter the other day. He’s safe, that’s all we can ask for.”

“I know you’re right. I just miss him.”

“I do too.” He holds Aaron closer, trying to reassure him somehow.

It wasn’t as though Robert wasn’t just as worried about Jacob, had been since the day he was called up to the RAF. He was proud of his nephew, they both were, but every night the number of casualties on the news left them with an anxious wait for his next letter or phone call.

They had plenty to keep them busy. Aaron’s car business with Adam had slowed down due to the war so he’d been spending most of his time helping out at the farm, the business kept ticking over by their assistants in Hotten. Robert was involved in all the various village committees, which took up a chunk of his time, and his patience. Aaron was used to evenings filled with his complaints about busybody villagers. That and overseeing the estate kept him busy.

Life hadn’t changed that much since the end of the war. The main change had been the loss of Diane almost ten years before, and Vic and Adam moving out to take over his parents’ farm. It had left the two of them rather rattling around the big house with Jacob, especially now Liv had her own house in the village that came with her job as school teacher.

“It’ll be good to see him if he can make it. Seems like ages since he was here.” Stationed on the South Coast he could only visit when he had a decent amount of leave which didn’t happen often.

“I hate it Robert, the thought of him in danger. What the hell did we fight for the last time? All of that, for nothing!” He pulls away from Robert, going to look out of the window. They’d both tried so hard to banish the memories of what had happened, to get on with their lives. The outbreak of war had just brought everything back, the nightmares returning, even more when Jacob left.

“Hey, come on. You know this won’t help. He’ll get through it, he’s tough, like his Uncle Aaron.” There was little he could say to make it better, his reassurances meant nothing, they both knew that.

“All the toughness in the world won’t help if he’s shot down!” It was a recurring argument and one neither of them could win. They were both worried, both with too many memories.

“All I’m saying is, thinking that way doesn’t help.” He wasn’t the slightest bit convincing but it was almost routine now to say it. “Come on, I’ll make us some tea, and we’ll think of ways to rein in my sister.”

*****

Finally the night of the party had arrived and Aaron was pacing. He still got nervous, still hated getting dressed up. It was more than that though, they’d not heard from Jacob for over a week now. He either phoned or sent a letter at least once every few days but so far nothing. He’d tried not to let Robert see how worried he was but every day without a letter made it worse.

“Vic’s here.” Robert pokes his head round the door. “Wow.”

“You’ve seen me in this suit lots of times.” He can’t help smiling, glad he still had that effect on him.

“And every time you look even better.”

“Yeah, yeah. You don’t look so bad yourself!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Really. Come on, let’s go before Vic drags us.”

“Wait.” He holds on to Aaron’s hand. “I love you.” Aaron smiles, still dips his head after so long, like he doesn’t believe he gets to have Robert in his life.

“I know I don’t always say it, but…”

“I know. I always did.” He presses their lips together in a soft kiss, just enough to get them through the evening.

“Soft. Come on.”

*****

It’s not a big party, just Vic and Adam with their children, Emily and Michael. They come to live with them as evacuees at the beginning of the war and their parents had been killed. Vic and Adam had adopted them not long after. The other guests were Chrissie and her husband and couple of people from the village.

“You’ve done a great job, Vic.” Aaron kissed her cheek with a smile. “You didn’t need to go to all this trouble though.”

“Don’t be daft. It’s not every day someone celebrates thirty years of putting up with my brother.” He laughed, feeling himself relax a little. “Thank you for making him happy.”

“He makes me happy.”

“Are you talking about me?” Robert’s hands are on his shoulders and he can hear the happiness in his voice. They didn’t get to entertain that often and when they did they had to hide their relationship still. They were sure plenty of people in the village knew but they kept themselves to themselves, not wanting to tempt fate too much.

“Not everything is about you. Never did learn to rein that ego in did ya?” He can’t help looking at the door, waiting for Liv to arrive. They see her often but even so he wants her here.

“She’ll be here. Why’re you nervous?”

“You know I don’t like getting all dressed up like this.” He didn’t, even after so long it didn’t feel like him.

“You look good though. Pity we can’t disappear and I can show you just how much I like it.”

“Oh yeah? Gonna have to wait, aren’t ya.” He does pulls him out of sight though and kisses him. “That’ll tide you over won’t it.”

“It’ll have to. Come on, we’ve got guests.”

“Just a few minutes.” He sighs. “I wish Jacob could’ve made it.”

“Me too. We’ll hear from him soon. If we’ve heard nothing by Monday I’ll try and get in touch with a couple of old friends and see if they can help.” Aaron looks a little happier at that.

“I know. Ok, come on let’s get this over with.”

They’re barely in the sitting room when the front door opens and Liv is there. “Anyone home?”

“No.” Robert fires back as always, smile as wide as ever. “You’re late.”

“I had to make a quick stop.” She tells him, hugging him. It amazed him every day that the tearaway little girl he’d found in the kitchen had turned into this strong beautiful woman. “You got room for one more?”

“Who?” Aaron’s instantly curious. Robert’s smiling though, there’s really only one person it could be.

“We wanted it to be a surprise. You can come in now.” Aaron’s already heading towards her when Jacob comes into the hall, smart in his uniform, dark hair unusually messed up, cap under his arm. It still shocked him that the little boy they’d called their own had grown up and was fighting a war just like they had.

“Jacob!” Robert hangs back, lets Aaron hug him first. They were close from the first time Aaron laid eyes on him and Robert knows Jacob had a lot to do with Aaron getting through everything that had happened to him back then. Their relationship was as close to father and son as you could get. He and Robert were close, but there was an extra bond between him and Aaron, always would be.

“Oi. My turn.” He hugs him, letting the relief wash over him, that he was home, safe. “You’ve had us worried.”

“I did write. Didn’t you get my letters?” Robert shook his head.  “I’m sorry. There were no calls allowed. The letters must be lost.”

“It doesn’t matter now. So, you cooked this up between you I assume?” He nods over at Liv who is laughing at something Aaron has said. He looks like the weight of the world has been lifted from him, at least temporarily.

“I just collected him from the station.” Liv shrugged.

“Wanted to surprise you. Wasn’t going to miss your anniversary was I? Took some convincing to get the leave mind!” Robert rolled his eyes, knew just how much Jacob liked getting his own way.

“How long are you here for?” Aaron asks.

“Only forty eight hours. I’m starving though, the train got stuck and I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

“Like that makes a difference! Come on, there’s enough food to keep you happy.” Aaron leads him from the room, chatting away, happiness radiating from him. Robert looks over at Liv.

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything. Look, if I know you or Aaron, which I do, you’ve been going mad with worry. Now you can relax and enjoy yourselves.”

“Why do I put up with you?” He puts his arm around her though as they walk back into the party.

*****

“Everyone! Can I, er, just have a few minutes.” Aaron’s surprised when Robert gets up tapping his glass.

“What are you doing?” He hisses, and gets a smile and a wink in return.

“I just want to say thank you for coming. Thirty years ago I came home and I’ll admit I wanted to be anywhere but here. Then I came across a girl in my kitchen, a scowling, nosy little thing she was. It was because of her that I met her equally grumpy brother. I’m pretty sure he hated me back then.”

“Not too sure I like you much right now!” Aaron scoffs making everyone laugh.

“May as well keep going then. Anyway, without Liv things might have been a lot different, so I should thank you, even though it took you a while to come around to me. But seriously, Aaron’s the strongest person I know and I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve him in my life for all these years, and I can’t imagine life without him.” He stares right at Aaron. “Come here, a minute. I have something for you.”

“What are you doing?”

“I told you I had a surprise, didn’t I?” He takes Aaron’s hand. “I know that moving in here all those years ago wasn’t really what you wanted. You would’ve happily stayed in the cottage forever, and so would I, but well, we had responsibilities. Two pretty wonderful responsibilities. Liv, Jacob, we wouldn’t change any of it, the two of you make us proud every day. I know though, that this has never really felt like Aaron’s home, not the way it should.”

“Robert.” His voice is a low growl. “That’s not…”

“It’s fine. I get it. Anyway, I’ve been planning. Now I know you hate it when I go off on one of my flights of fancy, but...these are for you.” He pulls out a set of keys from his suit pocket. “It’s not the cottage, it’s for the gatehouse. You think you can put up with me in such a small space?”

“I’m sure I’ll be able to resist the urge to throttle you.” He’s smiling though and Robert can see how happy he is.

“Well?” Robert asks, coming close, voice just loud enough for Aaron to hear.

“It’s perfect.”

*****

“Well that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Robert asks as he climbs into bed later that night, Aaron already half asleep.

“Suppose so. Good to have everyone there. What made you decide about the house?”

“Well Jacob will want this place for himself one day, and his family, and like I said, I know this isn’t where you’d have chosen for us to live. I don’t care where we live. You remember I told you that years ago, before the war. As long as I’m with you, that’s all I need.”

“Stop being soppy.”

“If I can’t be soppy on our anniversary, when can I?” He turns to face Aaron. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“Yeah, you were right, it was good to see everyone. Tired now though.”

“Sleep then.” He kisses his forehead, wrapping an arm over his hip, keeping him close, as always.

“Take me to the house tomorrow though?”

“Yeah. Love you.” He smiles as Aaron’s eyes close despite his efforts to keep them open.

“Love you too. Happy anniversary.”                                       

[huntertales]

Part One: Don’t Give Up On Us. (Point of No Return S05E18)

Episode Summary: Dean begins to think the only way to stop Lucifer is to say yes to Michael, but the angels decide they don't need him anymore. The Winchesters and Castiel are horrified at the angels' new game plan and take on Zachariah to prevent an all out war on Earth. Meanwhile, the reader quickly learns making risky deals with Heaven and Hell have their consequences. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 5,692.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

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Dear Sasquatch, (Aka. Sammy)  

If you’re reading this, then I’m long gone—and for God’s sake, please don’t come looking for me like a lost child. There’s a reason why I left. And why I decided to write you a letter instead of letting you worry that something happened to me. (I‘m fine. The Devil didn’t find me...yet.)

This is my version of a goodbye. I wish that I could’ve said it to you face to face, but you would have only stopped me from what I’m about to do. I can’t tell you much other than it’s for the greater good. And your own well being. Out of anyone I know, you don’t deserve the path fate have given you, you deserve so much more Sammy. You deserve happiness and a life that isn’t doomed for failure. All I have ever wanted was to protect you the best way that I can. You’re my best friend, the annoying little brother I never got the chance of seeing grow up. For what I’m about to do, at least I can be reassured you’ll live a long life with your brother. Like the both of you deserve.

Love your pesky best friend, Y/N.

They found the letters sitting on the motel pillow when it was time to leave Minnesota, the letters spread out with their names written neatly in cursive, and a waste basket filled with crumpled envelopes at your failed attempts of neat penmanship. You had taken the time in the middle of the night to write the boys a note before you left them for good. Sam read yours in the motel room by himself, trying to figure out what this meant. He wondered if this was caused by the conversation that you had with his brother that resulted in Dean becoming mute for the rest of the night and most of the early morning before they realized you were gone. What made Sam the most upset was that he didn’t understand why you would leave out of the blue. He read the letter almost a dozen times to figure out what it meant, but for the man being so smart, he couldn’t figure out why you ran away. Or what you were about to do.

+ + +

Dear Dean,

First off, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things that I said to you over the past few days and how neglectful I have been with your own feelings over the past several months—or years. I really don’t know when you have gotten so sad and hopeless. But you're a man who only shows me so much. I tried to understand about where you have been coming from. You're a child who had to grow up so fast and take care of everyone your entire life. And when it counts the most, you're tired of the fight. You’re tired of having to be the strong one who has to try and save the day. So don’t. Sit back and let me take care of this.

But don’t you dare stop yourself short of a happy life. I don’t care if you spend the rest of your days just cruising around in the Impala. As long as you and Sam are together, happy, then I’m happy. And say what you will about fate, about anything that brought us together. I was wrong. I do need you. I do love you. I loved you since we were little kids. And I love you still as I'm writing this note. What I'm about to do is for you, the man who I've always loved. My soulmate. Maybe one day we'll meet again in Heaven and share an eternity of blissful happiness. But we're not getting there for you to saying yes to Michael. I won't have that. For once, I want to save you.

Take care of your baby brother for me, make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. And most importantly, please take care of yourself.

I love you with all my heart, Y/N.

Dean didn't read your letter until he decided that enough was enough, he ran away himself. Sitting in a motel room with a bottle of whiskey and a box filled with all of his personal items getting ready to be shipped off to Bobby, he sat himself down and gathered the courage to see what you had to say. He didn't know the reason why you ran off again. The first time was back when the demon deal was your only problem. He sold his soul to a crossroads demon to save his brother, you made another one with Crowley to take his spot in Hell. Just a few years later, Dean had a feeling history was repeating itself all over again. You had a trick up your sleeve that you thought was going to solve everyone’s problems. He crumbled the note and threw it to the ground. It was all he needed to hear to know what he had to do.

+ + +

Dear, Cas.

Yes. I'm writing a letter to you, too. I know over the past few years our friendship has been a bit rocky. I mean, I did stab you in the chest when we first met...to be fair, I thought you were a demon. Maybe first impressions are everything. (And here is my terrible attempt at humor you probably won't get. It was a joke, I hope that made you laugh a bit. I know you’ve been feeling a bit down lately with everything that has been happening.) Despite our difference and bumping of the heads, you are a part of this family. A very dysfunctional, unhealthy obsessed people who are willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. And you did that when you rebelled against Heaven. For us. I don’t think I ever got the chance to say thank you. For everything. I don’t know what the boys and I would do without you. I’m going to miss you.

If this works, I want you to do something for me. Please take care of my boys. Make sure they don’t do anything dumb and kill each other in the process. And have a bit of fun yourself—but lay off the alcohol. (Again, another joke...made me chuckle at least. And God knows it’s been a while.) I don’t know if you would consider our very up and down relationship as anything, but I think of you as my family. And that’s why I’m doing this. Because you’re my friend Cas, and like the Winchester way, I’m doing this so you don’t get yourself hurt or caught in the crossfire. Please take care of yourself, buddy and don’t get into too much trouble.

Love from your friendly half-demon to her pesky angel from above, Y/N.

Cas read his letter when he gotten better after what Leah, aka the whore of Babylon, had done to him. He vanished himself far away after the brothers began fighting about what the right thing to do was. Sam wanted to look for you, Dean was too caught up in his own self destruction to think about anything but himself. It was strange to see you had disappeared out of thin air, there was no new leads on how to stop Lucifer, but he had a feeling if you had gotten a clue, you would take it without informing them. The angel was still learning about human emotions, but he understood the bond between you and the brothers. It was like any other he seen before. What the three of you were willing to do just for each other’s safety. The angel had a feeling that’s why you had ran away. You were about to do something very stupid.

+ + +

Home is where the heart is. You called some little hotel at least a few dozen states away from where you last ended up as the place where you would rest your head for now. It was a fairly small town that barely had any books in their library that weren't religious or some crappy book that they decided was pure enough for them to read. You didn't pick this place because you wanted to read banned fiction like The Catcher in the Rye or Fahrenheit 451. It was because in small towns like this, where everyone carried around a pocket sized bible, is where you would find all the good contents of religion. And in your time of need, you needed just about any kind of scripture that dated back two thousand years ago. You scoped out the library for every old testament, new testament, book of revelation and content that was dated back to the days when God was still around. The librarian who had helped you out looked at you a bit funny, you told her it was for a very detailed project.

It wasn’t a lie. You had been spending the past two weeks on your own, running from just about anything that would put a crimp in your plan. This was a fine line you were walking here after you made a fate you couldn’t run away from. You had said yes to the Devil. What for? Too much, that's what. You had promised Lucifer himself that when the time came, you would be all his. You agreed to becoming a demon for the sake of his own personal obsession. And the cherry on top of it all. Instead of Sam being his vessel for the big fight, you said you would. You were going to be Satan's prom date. But that was just the beginning of the mess you were about to get yourself into. There was so much more than you bit off.

You decided that changing Lucifer’s vessel wasn't enough, you changed one more detail. Something that would forever make you feel terrible for dragging someone who you'd never personally met before into this mess. Dean was supposed to be the vessel for Michael, but instead, you given a different name. Adam Milligan. The illegitimate son of John Winchester, but he was still blood. It would work. At least, that’s what Zachariah promised in that dirty bar. Both of you were down on your luck. He’d gotten kicked to the curb after not closing the deal of a lifetime. You had decided to throw your entire life away for the sake of saving three people.

Over some cheap whiskey, you and him discussed the fate of the world and moving to that neat little thing called paradise. Maybe you were becoming a demon, because you were making a lot of deals. And you were being very manipulative. You had discussed with Zachariah the new game plan you had been thinking about. Say you became the vessel for Lucifer after you turned yourself into a demon so you could be strong enough. How would that benefit Heaven? In so many ways they didn’t think about. While you had been possessed by Lilith, you were in some control of your own body. You could have stopped her, but you chose not to. You proposed the idea that you could rig the fight so Michael could come out as the champion and Lucifer would return back to the cage where he belonged. Problem solved. At least, that’s what he was lead to think.

Lucifer thought you were going to join his side, the angels had faith in the idea you were going to let them win. Neither of them knew what you were scheming in privacy. You might have been a half demon, you might be putting yourself in a compromise that you could never bring yourself out of. But you were trying. You knew there was a way to put Lucifer back in the cage. You just needed to find the answers and keep everyone at bay. Just for a little bit longer. The marking on your ribs kept you hidden from all angels, and the devil's trapped you put on the floor was an added precaution for any sort of demons that were trying to get on Lucifer's good side. But you knew the biggest obstacle standing in your way was the Winchester boys.

You made it back from the library with at least three different books you found that seemed decent enough to figuring out more answers than bible passages that made no sense. You fetched a hand inside your jean pocket to pull out your key and shoved it into the lock of your hotel room door. Twisting it and hearing the lock click back into place, you pushed open the door with a free hand and stepped inside. You reached out to switch on the light and look around the room to see that things were as they were when you left them. But you noticed something was different. You could feel the books that you had been holding come crashing to the ground as your face dropped into a panicked expression.

Somebody was sitting at the desk that you had been using earlier this morning and going through all the research and notes you had gathered over the past several days. The stranger was Sam Winchester, and from the look on his face, he was upset about having to find you like this. He flipped your notebook shut and looked up at you, "Doing some research without me?"

"H—How did you find me?" You managed to form a question as you blinked, a bit taken back from how quick he managed to track you down so quickly.

"I've been running around since I was a kid, Y/N. I know all the tricks we taught you." Sam answered you. His tone was calm, but you could see in his expression this conversation was about to turn south. He wasn't here to see how things were going, he wanted to drag you back home. You watched as he pulled something out from his pocket jacket and threw it to the desk. It was the letter that you had wrote for him. It seemed that wasn't enough to keep him satisfied. "You know something, don't you? You get like this when you try to solve a problem. You push people people away and go straight for the kill without thinking about the consequences."

“It doesn’t concern you or your brother, Sam.” You told him with a strong tone. Your voice was growing harsher from the way he was treating you, like a child who had no clue of what you were doing. “I know a way out of this. Just leave me alone.”

“So that’s why you broke up with Dean?” Sam's question made you stop from bending down and grab the books that you had previously dropped. You slowly looked up at him and looked a bit surprised at the information that you doubt his brother would have willingly given up. "Stopped by Lisa's place on the way here. Funny thing was, Dean didn't stop by her place when he ran off himself, but she did get a letter in her mailbox—written by you. Wasn't too hard to connect the dots after I read it for myself."

You were taken back from hearing the news that Dean had run off himself shortly after you. It wasn't much of a surprise there, you had a feeling he was a flight risk just waiting for the right push to send him off the edge. But it seemed your words of advice to go after another woman didn't work. Nervously swallowing, you began wondering if he was about to do something stupid. Like say yes to Michael before you got a chance to find a way out of this.

“So, this is how you want things to end?” Sam asked you, his voice growing harder as he stood up from the chair. You looked away from him when you could see the sadness starting to creep into his eyes from the position you had forced the young man into. His brother had been on the edge, and you had made things only worse. “You’re gonna push everyone away and run away? How could you do that to us?”

“How could I? All you've ever done is run away! And I’ve done nothing else but supporting you! Stanford, the demon blood, Ruby, accidentally letting Lucifer out of the cage. You thought you were trying to help us, Sammy. I never looked down at you for what you did. Unlike your own brother.” You told him, as if he didn’t know about his past mistakes. You let out a sigh, realizing how it must have come across like it was a bad thing. “Look, I think I found a way to put Lucifer back in the cage.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me? Why did you run away?” Sam asked, hoping you would give a straightforward answer. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked away from him, as if you were trying to standing your ground. He scoffed quietly underneath his breath as he shook his head from how you were behaving. "You know I have to stop you, Y/N."

"What are you gonna do? Throw me over your shoulder?" You gave a presumption as you let out a quiet chuckle, Sam shrugged his shoulders at the possibility. Your lips stretched faintly into a smirk at your own advantage from the public setting you were in. "You might be bigger than me Sasquatch, but you’re not taking me out of here.  I'll scream on the top of my lungs if you so dare touch me."

“Fine. Whatever. I really don’t care.” Sam said as let out a sigh from how you were making this a little more complicated than it should have been. “But just so you know, I brought help.”

You furrowed your brow slightly from what the younger Winchester said, wondering for a moment about what he meant by that. But the sound of fluttering wings behind you, meaning only one thing. You slowly looked over your shoulder to see Cas, the angel who always entered the room by coming out from thin air, was standing right behind you. You opened your mouth to try and get them to change your mind, but before you could, the angel put his index finger on your forehead, sending the three of you far away from the hotel.

+ + +

Much as they politely asked, you didn't give up what sort of trick you had up your sleeve. You sat on the cot with your back pressed against the wall and your arms crossed over your chest, staying completely silent after being brought back from Bobby's against your will. Sam and Cas worked together into tracking down where you had ran off to, his older brother also. You were a bit taken back to see Dean again, and while he seemed pissed off himself at being brought back like a small child, the both of you were thrown into a different loop of emotion at just laying eyes on one another. Your lips attempted to give him a warm smile, Dean seemed relieved to see that you were in his sight once again without a trace of harm on you. But it was only a matter of time until the room sank back down to anger. He couldn’t forget that you had broke up with him, that you pushed him away.

“Yeah, no, this is good, really. Eight months of turned pages and screwed pooches, but tonight— tonight’s when the magic happens. Yeah, only if Y/N opens that big mouth of hers and tells us her great, big plan." Dean paced back and forth around the room, making his frustrations clear to everyone who was trying to block his pessimistic attitude out. Bobby and Sam at at his desk to look over some books as Cas leaned against the wall, his eyes narrowed on the oldest Winchester. You looked away from the wall you had been staring at and up slightly to see that Dean was staring at you, his lips stretched into a grim smirk, as if you were going to admit your master plan. You scoffed quietly underneath your breath and looked away. Bobby tried to get the man to calm down as Dean decided to stop pacing for a moment and lean himself against the wall right across from where you were sitting. "If you don't want me around, why don't you let me get out of your hair, then?"

Bobby tried his hardest to ignore the oldest Winchester’s behavior. But he thought the young man was only acting like a fool for how he was treating everyone. He tossed the newspaper article he had been reading to the desk and looked at Dean, “What the hell happened to you?”

“Reality happened.” Dean answered the man with a sharp tone. “Nuclear’s the only option we have left. Michael can ice the Devil, save a boatload of people.”

“But not all of them.” Bobby pointed out the small fact that the young man seemed to have forgotten about in his selfish way of thinking. “We got to think of something else.”

“Yeah, well, that’s easy for you to say,” The oldest Winchester muttered, brushing off Bobby's words that were supposed to be supportive. But the man’s one minded track wasn’t making him think of the end game if the worst happened and the enemy won because he was too late to solve the problem. “But if Lucifer burns this mother down and I could have done something about it, guess what—that’s on me.”

Silence filled the room after what Dean had said. He knew what would happen if he continued to say no to Michael. The world would end in complete chaos and an outbreak of the nasty croatoan virus would reign most of the population into monsters. His brother would say yes to the Devil and the woman that he loved—Dean corrected himself, the woman who pushed him away, would turn into a demon. But he could stop all of it from happening if he just said yes to the archangel. Then he could finally let someone else take a hold of the fight he was tired of trying to win. But his ideal thought of how it would all end only lasted a few moments when a voice broke the tension that had fallen over the five of them.

"Dean Winchester, the man who has to do everything himself." You spoke for the first time since arriving back at Bobby's. You could feel four pairs of eyes shifting to you at what you had said, followed by a small chuckle that escaped afterwards. Slowly, you removed your gaze away from the wall and to the man who was hovering over, wondering what you meant by that. "Ever come to think that we can solve this problem without having you do all the heavy lifting?"

"And she speaks. What's your big plan, sweetheart?" Dean asked you with a bit of a curiosity, but his tone of voice was nothing short of cold and cruel. "You gonna push people away and go waltzing off to the sunset with the Devil? I'm sure he's a better match for you. I mean, the two of you are a match in Hell. The only reason why you’re alive is because of him.”

"You know, I take everything I said back. I hope you die miserable and alone. Because the only person that you care about is yourself." You pushed yourself up from the cot to stand in front of Dean, giving him the fuel to continue on this fight that never seemed to have ended between the two of you. While it had been done behind closed doors, the three men witnessed how you and Dean had crumbled into a pair of people they didn’t even recognize. “You sad, sack of sh—”

Before you could wipe the smirk off Dean's mouth, someone grabbed a hold of your wrist, stopping you from letting this escalate to levels that you didn't need to go right now. You were broken out of your thoughts when Cas shook his head at you, as if he was giving you a warning not to do something you would only regret later. You let out a quiet sigh and stepped away from Dean to give yourself some space from him. You avoided any eye contact with Sam or Bobby as they stared in astonishment from what had unraveled right in front of their eyes.

“It wasn't too long ago the two of you were doing were walking around here with that puppy love of yours. You would do anything to save one another. Hell, you have. Now you're clawing at one another's throats and saying some pretty stupid stuff.” Bobby said, trying to be the voice of reason here. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked around the room. You knew the man was right. But it was hard when the oldest Winchester wouldn't cooperate. “Both of you need to snap out of this. And you can’t give up so easily, son.”

“You’re not my father.” Dean responded to the man’s words with a few that were the worst of all that he could ever speak. You looked at him with an astonishment form what he had done. But the oldest Winchester seemed to have no remorse. “And you ain’t in my shoes.”

You scoffed underneath your breath and tightened your arms around your waist a little bit more. Sam looked over at this big brother and stared at him with anger, he shook his head in disappointment from what he was doing without any sense of how his words were affecting the people he loved. But he knew. Dean tore his gaze away and stared straight on, he swallowed and tried his hardest not to show any sort of emotion any other than frustration for how this situation was working out.

Bobby had done a lot for the three of you. He’d been there since the brothers were kids and tried to give them at least a little bit of normalcy when John dropped them off for a hunt. He had been there when you had been tracked down by Meg, sold your souls to a few demons and then tried to save you from Hell. He had been there when Sam was strung out of demon blood and had no idea of what to do. Bobby was still here at the result of being paralyzed from the waist down after being possessed by a demon. And he was still here, trying to find a way to stop the apocalypse that the three of you had caused which each step that you took. But the older hunter decided to prove Dean’s hurtful words wrong.

You looked over to the desk when you heard something heavy land on top of an open book that Bobby had next to him. The man pulled out a revolver from a drawer and placed it for everyone to see. He then took a bullet from the pocket of his flannel shirt and made sure Dean could see it clearly. Dean asked him what that was for.

“That’s the round I mean to put through my skull. Every morning, I look at it, and I think…‘Maybe today’s the day I flip the lights out.’ But I don’t do it. I never do it. You know why?” Bobby asked the younger man. But he didn’t wait for him to answer, he wanted to be the one to tell him as his tone matched his anger from how he felt. “Because I promised you I wouldn’t give up!”

Dean was stricken silent from the words that he heard. Out of anyone in this room that was a risk of taking the swan dive, it was Bobby. After his incident with the possession, the one where he had stabbed himself to save you and Dean, he had been vocal about ending his own life, thinking he couldn't be a hunter with no working legs. But the man carried on to this very day because he knew it wasn't worth it, his actions would deeply affect you and the brothers. You found yourself staring at the bullet Bobby had placed down on the table. All though you hadn’t told him your plan, you had a feeling he would react the same way as he did to Dean. Yet you knew there wasn’t a better option for this.

You were torn away from your personal thoughts when Cas suddenly was stricken down with a headache. Your face scrunched in concern as you watched the angel clutched his head and groaned quietly in pain. All of you stared at him, not sure what was going on.

“Cas, you okay?” You asked him with concern. The angel shook his head no as the pain seem to have gotten worse for a moment or so longer before he tried to return back to normal. “What’s wrong?”

“Something’s happening.” Cas whispered.

Dean tried to ask the angel where it was, but before he could get an answer, Cas left in a hurry, a burst of wind followed behind as a few papers slowly drifted into the air before falling to the ground. You stared at the spot where Cas had been previously staring at, wondering yourself of what was going on—and if it had to do with the little plan you had set up for them.

+ + +

Cas was gone for what felt like forever. You spent the time in the kitchen with your nose buried in a book that you had spotted buried underneath a few others on his desk. While you kept yourself occupied for the time being, your mind kept wandering back to what was going on with the angel. Zachariah had promised to keep his word about the plans. What if he didn't? You tapped your foot against the floor and turned the page, forcing yourself to read about the fall of Lucifer, but your attention was quickly ripped away when you heard Bobby’s voice echo from the library.

“Boys! Y/N!”

You pushed yourself up from your chair and shut the book you were reading to follow behind the brothers to see what was going on. Stepping back into the library, you noticed right away that Cas had come back with some luggage with an unconscious body lying over his shoulder. You could feel your heartbeat starting to pound harder in your chest when he tossed him down to the cot and stepped away to let you see who it was. It was a young face that you had seen only once before, but it was the kind of face that made your mouth part open slightly. He was dirty and didn't move a muscle, but Adam Milligan was the boy who had been brought back from the dead.  They did it. The angels listened to your plan.

“Who is it?” Bobby asked as he wheeled himself over to the bed.

“That’s our brother.” Sam answered with a quiet voice.

Bobby was confused himself at seeing the young man in the flesh again after hearing about the first encounter that didn't end well. The one you had met was of a ghoul who had killed him and took his form as some revenge. The boys shrugged their shoulders from what was going here as they stared at the youngest brother with absolute confusion. Dean looked over at Cas, wondering himself of what the hell was going on here. Cas placed down two blades that were meant to kill only angels, he didn't have any helpful answers, but he knew one thing was for sure. The kid was a red flag for his fellow brothers and sisters who would be searching for Adam soon as they realized he was missing from his grave where he crawled out from.

“I know one thing for sure.” Cas said. “We need to hide him now.”

Cas placed a hand on Adam's chest and used the same trick like had on you and the boys by carving in some enochian sigils into the man's ribcage. The feeling of an unknown force burning into his bones made Adam wake up from his long sleep. He inhaled a deep breath as his eyes shot wide open. The young man was quick to sit himself up on the bed when he took notice of Bobby, a man he had never seen before. He stared at the five of you with almost a panicked expression as he began asking of where he was.

“It’s okay. Just relax.” Sam reassured him with a calm tone. “You’re safe.”

“Who the hell are you?” Adam asked.

“You’re gonna find this a little—a lot crazy,” Dean corrected himself at what he was about to say to the man. “But we’re actually your brothers.”

“It’s the truth. John Winchester was our father, too.” Sam said, backing up with what his brother had mentioned as he tried to introduce himself. “See, I’m Sam—”

“Yeah, and I’m sure that’s Dean. And you’re for sure that you’re Y/N. They warned me about you.” Adam said. His gaze turned away from the boys that were his own flesh and blood to you from what spoke of last. The brothers looked over at you, wondering what Adam meant by that. You licked your lips, thinking they must have given him a description that wasn’t so nice to make sure the fight was even as possible. “Now, where the hell is Zachariah?!”

“Hot damn. Those sons of bitches did it.” You muttered underneath your breath. You found yourself lost in your own personal thoughts of what was going on here. All though for you it was some kind of miracle, the boys didn’t think so from what they heard you say. You looked over to see they were rather confused as to why you were so happy. “Oh. By the way...Did I forget to mention? The Devil and I had a nice, long talk. And I'm his new vessel."

Rewrite Taglist:

@deansquirreljerkwinchester@lotsofspnshitposts@everything-i-tried-was-taken@starswirlblitz @albot-e@supernaturalismydrug @we-are-band-sexuals@angiewinchestercas@kaylinfayezink@owhatshername1@kgbrenner@princessofhorrors@cleo-is-my-doggy​ @eeyore1988 @dakota-dream (Message me if you would like to be added!)

[roosterteethinserts]

Pick Up Line

AN: It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Well, I’ve been busy since the last time I uploaded and the last time I wrote for this I deleted the last chunk of what I wrote and couldn’t get it back, so hopefully it’s still as good! I’ll try to get the next ones out soon..Enjoy!

Pair-Jeremy x Reader

Word Count-1694

Warnings-mentions of drinking, cheesy pick up lines, 

Summary- Y/N is the new editor for Funhaus. Before Y/N applied, she was a fan of Achievement Hunter and had a crush on Jeremy. During RTX, word gets out about the crush and Jeremy finds out. Jeremy then proceeds to voice his crush with pick up lines.  

Video games weren't exactly my forte, per say. I loved watching the let's plays that Funhaus and other people did, but I wasn't the best at playing them. Well, I was good at some of them, but only if they weren't first person shooters.

Since I had a love for video games, but not wanting to be directly playing them, I got a job for being an editor at Rooster Teeth for Funhaus. It took a couple of applications, but I managed to get an interview and later get the job on the second try after I got more interning and stuff to fill out my application more.

Once I was accepted and quickly introduced to my job of editing, and other small tasks, the crew became more close to me. Word quickly got around that I was a new face in Funhaus and I started getting tweets and other messages greeting me. I replied to some of them as I edited, but mostly a lot of them said the same thing so I didn't reply to a lot.

During the months leading to RTX, everything ramped up, needing to have enough videos ready to be uploaded to last the entire trip to Austin. Since I was the newest person, I tried to stay the latest to pick up any slack from any of the other editors, always offering to take a video that wasn't edited yet and finishing it late at night.

Good news came two weeks before RTX, right after some of the Achievement Hunters came into the office for E3. I came into the office, greeting Elyse as I passed her desk to go to mine. She nodded her head back, eyes flickering from her monitor to me quickly. As I set my backpack on the floor, I heard James and Bruce open the door, laughing at a joke James probably told.

Bruce smiled at me, "Everyone, listen up!"

I walked towards the front, as did everyone else. Curious, I stood next to Adam as I watched James and Bruce.

James exclaimed, "As a thank you, we're paying for everyone to go to RTX. We're leaving in two weeks, so unless you tell us otherwise, you're coming."

A smile grew on my face as Elyse told me, "We're going to get so drunk at the VIP party."

I laughed, agreeing wholeheartedly. I've only gone drinking with Elyse, but we both agreed that it was one of the best times that we've had together. The night was filled with endless laughs and creating a tighter bond between the both of us.

Because we were a part of RTX's talent, we needed to be there before to help set up and make sure everything at our booth was good to go. I flew in half a week early since I wasn't in charge of anything in Funhaus, but I still wound up with the job of managing the Funhaus booth while everyone else takes part in panels and other things. I was told that I'd have help when they weren't busy, but I'd be the main person at the booth for the whole RTX.

I stayed in my hotel room for most of the two days before RTX, editing the last couple videos that needed to be done and doing any odds and ends to prep for RTX. On the day before RTX, though, I went out with a lot of RT employees as a 'girls night out' which was a lot of fun. I met some of the women that I've looked up to in the community and they were all wonderful and excited to meet me.

Friday quickly came which meant the first day of RTX. Thousands of people filled the convention center, milling around in RT apparel or cosplay. It seemed that everyone knew their next destination as they weaved through the crowds. Sitting at the Funhaus booth, I watched in awe as the crowds of people walked about. Omar and Matt were in the booth along with me and they sat in front of the tv in the booth and played one of the many video games available to play. Time seemed to go quickly as I sold some shirts, signed a couple of autographs and even took a few pictures with fans. Soon, the VIP party was upon us.  

Meeting everyone at the party was fun and all, but when I met some of the Achievement Hunters, I couldn't shake off my already established crush on Jeremy since I've watched him in videos prior to applying to the job. Something about his humor and personality overall made me feel a connection to him. His jokes always seemed to make my day brighter, even if they weren't that funny. I had to try and make myself seem normal despite my heart pounding in my chest every time he was in the same area as me.

Somehow, the main Achievement Hunters found out about my watching them soon after I settled down in a seat in the back of the room. Of course, it wasn't that weird that I was a fan, but they seemed to be grilling me on various things they were curious about, trying to know my favorite things and other facts about me. I always told my answer with a smile on my face.

Two hours in, though, it felt like they found out some top secret information that only they cherished. When I was asked about my favorite Achievement Hunter, my tipsy mouth sputtered out Jeremy's name. Looks of surprise found their way onto their faces, and they all soon grinned, knowing looks being exchanged between the crew.

Michael asked, "So is that why you wanted to apply for Rooster Teeth?"

Gavin added, "Did you want to meet Jeremy?"

They were relentless, trying to make fun of me. I had a blush from the beer I've drank, but their teasings made it darker. I was happy since it was dim in here, otherwise they'd have more material to talk about.

The teasing which was once their new subject of conversation with me seemed to still, as if they completely forgot about it. It was unsettling how quiet the group was. Their eyes looked behind me, watching intently. One by one, they made their excuses to leave me.

I turned to see who it was and I found Jeremy in the group right next to me. When he wasn't talking, we locked eyes for a second. I felt myself blush more and I sipped on my beer, averting my eyes. He soon made his way over to my seat which made my heart race.  

Jeremy said, "Your smile lit up the room so much I had to come over and see it myself."

I couldn't help my laughter at the cheesy pick up line. He smiled at my reaction, taking a seat.

He told me, "You just looked a little bit lonely. I had to try something to make you happier."

I shook my head, "You didn't have to do that. I was fine."

He shrugged, "It's fine. Y/N right? I'm Jeremy"

I replied, "Yeah, I'm Y/N. How did you know about me?"

Jeremy smiled, "I have my ways...It was mostly Gavin and the fans."

Our conversation went pretty smoothly since our sense of humor was similar and we were both bevved up enough to not worry too much about the situation at hand. Jeremy started flirting with me after some time, so much so that I wondered if he was doing this for a bet.

After Jeremy was given another drink by a fan, I warned him "You should slow down a bit, Jeremy. I don't want to deal with a drunk Jeremy."

He countered with a pick up line: "I'm not getting drunk, but if I was I'd be drunk on you."

My cheeks heated up my entire face. I wondered if he'd be able to see it since the smile he had after he said it grew as he locked eyes with me. I didn't know what to do so I just tried to act normal even with my pounding heart.

Checking the time, I noticed that it was late into the night. I yawned, the beer making me feel a bit sleepy. Standing up, I made my way to the door with Jeremy following me and continuing the conversation we had earlier about our newest gaming obsession.

It felt so surreal that Jeremy was walking me to the door. His pick up lines were smartly placed in between our conversations, always causing me to either blush or laugh from the cheesiness. They reminded me of the website jokes that he put in the Minecraft videos.  

The walk to the hotel wasn't long so silence naturally proceeded as we walked through the cool air. The walk was a sobering experience as I mentally tried to appreciate the time I had with Jeremy since I wouldn't know the next time I'd be able to see him, if at all. After a short five minute walk, we arrived at the hotel lobby.

Jeremy told me, "It was nice meeting you. I'm glad that they chose you as the new editor."

I smiled, "I'm happy, too. You're better than I imagined."

I thanked him for walking me and he bid me good night. Walking back to my room, I had a grin on my face as I recalled what happened today. As I laid in bed, I checked my phone for any emails that I received during the party. The newest one caught my eye since it was from Jeremy. 

It read 'I had a lot of fun tonight. Would you like to meet me again for dinner before you go back to LA?' I replied my agreeance to the idea, telling him when I fly back. 

Thinking about my job and my life with Rooster Teeth in general, it's all been working out well for me. Maybe life wanted me to wait for my job at Rooster Teeth so I can have this life now, and I'm forever grateful for it.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

To the Ends of the Earth 11

Supernatural 

A/n: AU!Story. OOC Gabriel 

Link to Chapter 10

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

_________

Sam and Dean sat quietly watching Gabriel scowl angrily at the ground. After a few moments, Dean put down his glass of whiskey and sat down across from Gabriel.

“I want you to level with me. How did it begin with Y/n? As her brother, I deserve to know.”

Gabriel’s golden eyes rolled to the eldest Winchester.

“We’ve already told you. We are soulmates. That is what you should know.”

Dean rolled his eyes. He wasn’t about to let this go. He knew that he was going to find out somethings that he didn’t want to know but oh well.

“Yeah. We got the memo. I want to know how this began...the actual relationship part. You owe me that much.”

Gabriel kept his attention locked on Dean for a few moments. He finally relented and began to speak.

“My father, before he left, told me that I would fall in love with a human. I thought that he had gone mad. After spending thousands and thousands of years saying how human and angel relations were wrong now I was to fall in love with one? Confused was putting my feelings lightly. He didn’t talk to me anymore about it. When he left, that was when some other angels got in trouble for falling in love with humans. It didn’t go over well...as you can imagine. I put it out of my mind until I saw your sister for the first time. She was only a baby then but something was different about here. There was a pull that I couldn’t get away from. I wanted nothing more than to protect her from whatever disaster came her way. In case you didn’t know, your sister is a handful…”

Dean snorted.

“Yeah, I’m aware.”

Gabriel smirked. He didn’t care if you were a handful. You were his. Gabriel smiled at the thought. It didn’t matter that Gabriel was nearly freaking out because he couldn’t sense you. He figured that was due to Jack keeping you hidden from other angels. Gabriel made a mental note to thank Jack for keeping you safe (that was after he made sure that you were in one safe piece, of course).

“I didn’t realize that I loved her until I actually met her. That’s been a little over a year ago…”

Gabriel let his mind go back to that particular day…

Gabriel had been listening to Michael and Raphael discuss their “we hate humans and they are a waste of space” topic that seemed to be a regular occurrence. They didn’t bother including Gabriel in that conversation because they knew that he wouldn’t participate.

<i>Gabriel sat watching you from his hidden place in heaven. He smiled watching your interactions with other humans. You had grown up. No longer were you the small child that literally scared Gabriel to death! He was no longer having to sneak to earth to heal your injuries accrued from crazy accidents. Gabriel was still trying to figure out what possessed you to jump off the porch with Adam at 5 years old resulting in a broken arm. Now all Gabriel had to worry about was your decision to become a hunter.

You had been on a solo hunt for the past week that was making Gabriel nervous. He didn’t understand why Sam and Dean didn’t go with you. While he didn’t exactly care for your older brothers, he was at least thankful that they helped keep an eye on you when he wasn’t able to. Maybe if he ever met them, he could thank them in person.

This hunt had taken a lot out of Gabriel. There had been multiple times where he had to step in a shoo a demon in the opposite direction. At this particular moment, Gabriel had gotten himself to earth. After seeing five demons head in your direction, Gabriel couldn’t wait any longer!

You stood in a hallway of an abandoned factory when the demons closed in. Gabriel stood in the shadows as one of the demons knocked you to the ground.

“Stupid Winchester. You shouldn’t have come alone. It's your fatal mistake though.”

You struggled with the blindfold that one of the demons had put over your eyes. The last thing that you were able to see was Gabriel step into the room.

“Having fun?”

Gabriel asked. All five of the demons spun around. They were clearly stunned as hell to see the archangel behind them.

“Oh shit!”

One muttered. Another one backed away.

“I am not about to tangle with an archangel!”

One of the others rolled their beady little eyes.

“Oh come on! It's just one archangel and there are five of us! We could take him.”

Gabriel looked between the demons with an amused smile.

“Just so you all know, I killed a bunch of your little friends. Finishing you all off will be no issue.”

The first demon was shaking their head.

“No, we should go.”

The cocky one gave his friend a glare.

“Are you really scared of him?”

Gabriel stood while the five stood arguing between each other. After finally having enough, Gabriel snapped his fingers ending the demon's lives. He turned his attention back to you. You sat in the corner struggling with the blindfold.

Kneeling down in front of you, Gabriel reached out and slowly removed the blindfold. The moment that your bright green eyes met his, Gabriel felt every fiber in his being begin to go crazy! His father’s words about falling in love with a human came flooding back as your eyes widened.

“Are you going to try to hurt me too?”

Gabriel shook his head as he leaned back on his heels. He didn’t move to get closer or move away. The arms-length between the two of you was enough. As much as Gabriel wanted to reach out to you he didn’t. Touching a human seemed so wrong! He wasn’t ready for the physical aspect yet.

“No. I’m not going to hurt you, Y/n.”

You frowned, clearly confused at how he knew your name.

“How do you know me?”

Gabriel smiled, slightly.

“I know everything about you.”

Without realizing that he did it, Gabriel’s eyes glowed bright gold. Your eyes widened, but to Gabriel’s surprise, you didn’t move away.

“You’re an angel.”

Gabriel stood up. Now it was time to move away from you. You didn’t move to get up for a moment as Gabriel nodded.

“Guilty. You know my brother, Castiel.”

He said with a small coy smile. You nodded as Gabriel walked to you and held out a hand. The moment that your hand touched his; the two of you froze. Both of you looked at your intertwined hands as the feeling of electricity went through the two of you.

“What was that?”

You asked. Gabriel knew but he wasn’t about to tell you. The last thing that he wanted to do was throw away all of the years that he had spent watching and protecting you!  

“No idea.”

He said before gently pulling you to your feet. Gabriel gave you a small smile before turning to walk away.

“Hey wait!”

Your voice stopped him. Gabriel didn’t turn to face you right away. The fact that he knew for a fact now that the bond was 100% was a lot of action for one day!

“Yes?”

Gabriel questioned, softly. He could hear your steps behind him as well as your heart rate increasing.

“You never told me your name.”

Gabriel turned.

“Does it matter?”

You smiled, clearly trying to ease the tension. Gabriel knew that you were comfortable around angels. You probably sensed his unease around humans.

“You saved my life.”

Gabriel shrugged.

“Angel here...goes with the territory. You’re welcome.”

You giggled. Gabriel was automatically in love with the sound of your laughter. He could listen to that for the rest of forever!

“My name is Y/n Winchester. I am a hunter but I’m not going to hurt you. I think that it would be a little douchy to hurt someone after they saved your life. Look, I get that you are really uncomfy around humans but….I’m different.”

Gabriel smiled again.

“I know. I’m Gabriel.”

“The archangel?”

You questioned. Gabriel nodded.

“At your service. So, why are you out here hunting alone and what did those trashy demons want with you?”

You chuckled. He could read your thoughts. You wanted to reach out and touch him.

“Maybe because of who I am?”

Gabriel smirked.

“That was a dumb question on my part. Stay safe, pretty girl.”

You stepped forward and held out your hand.

“Do you have to go?”

The two of you spent the next two hours sitting on the floor of the factory talking. Gabriel was surprised at how easily the conversation between the two of you flowed. Again, Gabriel could spend the rest of forever just sitting in his room with you.

“Do I get to see you again?”

You asked after a while. Gabriel tried to fight the look of surprise on his face.

“Do you want to?”

You didn’t hesitate for a moment before quickly saying yes.</i>

Gabriel pulled himself from the memory before looking back to Dean.

“And that was how it happened.”

Dean leaned back.

“Well, I’ll give you this. You saved her life. I can’t thank you enough for that. I may not have liked you in the beginning.”

Gabriel smirked.

“You threatened to stab me in the chest with an archangel blade but we’re square.”

Dean laughed.

“I would like to say that is a Winchester greeting. Look, I am going to give you a heads up. Adam is back and he isn’t happy with Y/n being with you. I have to ask you to please not vaporize my other brother.”

Gabriel leaned back against the couch.

“Do you think that he is going to try to talk Y/n out of being with me?”

Dean nodded.

“Without a doubt but Y/n does what she wants. If Y/n wasn’t in love with you she would have never spent the past few months trying to fix you.”

Dean’s comment was enough to make Gabriel feel better. Gabriel had to agree with the eldest Winchester on one thing. If you didn’t want to do something there was no way in hell that you were going to do it!

Before Gabriel could agree to not turn Adam into a pile of goo, the door opened. Gabriel jumped up immediately smelling your scent.

“Y/n, wait! I think you should approach this slowly!”

Jack’s voice said calmly. Gabriel could hear each of your feet hitting every stair.

“I can’t wait, Jack. I need to if I need to deep fry an archangel or not. If Gabriel isn’t fixed, Raphael is getting my name carved right into his forehead.”

The moment that you stepped into the room, you silently prayed that Raphael held up his end of the bargain. You really didn’t want to have to face the archangel again.

There was also the fact that you weren't sure how you would handle things with Gabriel if he was still out of it. You missed your lover! The past few months had taken a toll on your mental well being.

“Dean! Sam! I’m back! Is Gabriel…”

You ran into the living room and froze the moment that Gabriel’s attention locked on you.

“Hi, sweetheart.”

You stood motionless for a moment before taking off across the room and threw your arms around Gabriel’s shoulders. Gabriel wrapped his arms around you as you knocked the angel off of his feet.

“You’re you again!”

You said before pressing your lips to Gabriel’s in a hungry desperate kiss. All you wanted was for some kind of intimacy. After so many months of being a caretaker, you wanted nothing more than to feel Gabriel kiss you.

Gabriel didn’t disappoint either. One arm locked around your waist while his other hand held the back of your head gently. He didn’t say anything for a moment before letting you slowly slid down the length of his body to stand on your own feet.

“Almost, the same. Y/n, I am so sorry about all of this.”

You shook your head and delicately put your hand to his lips.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re okay. That is all that I care about.”

Gabriel reached out and pulled you back down onto the couch beside him. You quickly sealed the space between your bodies. At the moment, you couldn’t be close enough to him!

Neither of you noticed Adam who was looking totally disgusted. Dean, meanwhile, stood and pulled his younger brother out of the room. He knew that the two of you needed privacy and this conversation would be easier if they weren’t there.

For the first few moments, you simply enjoyed the feeling of Gabriel actually holding you back.

“Gabriel, what the hell were you thinking?”

Gabriel tensed underneath you.

“I should ask you the same question. What exactly have you been up to?”

You stood up and watched as his golden eyes focused on you, not blinking.

“I kind of threatened to carve my initials into Rapahel’s forehead if he didn’t fix you. Apparently he believed me enough.”

Gabriel’s mouth fell open. That was the last thing that he expected to hear! You had gone and confronted his brother with only Jack and Adam as company. Gabriel was horrified! You could have been hurt or killed so easily. Gabriel would have been devastated if he came back to himself and found out that you were dead. He would have gone to Michael and let his older brother stab him! Gabriel wasn’t about to spend the rest of eternity alone without you!

“Y/n, what were you thinking?! You could have been killed! You were lucky that Raphael didn’t kill you. That was crazy!”

You stopped pacing and turned to face your lover. Gabriel was mad!

“Yeah, and you went up against both Michael and Raphael when you promised me that you wouldn’t do anything crazy like that. Gabriel, I know that you are an archangel like them but two against one is never a fair fight...no matter what the species.”

“I’m not really an archangel at the moment.”

Gabriel said in a low tone.

“My grace is too low to really be able to do anything at the moment. It will recharge but...it will take a while.”

You frowned and sat back down beside him.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Gabriel’s amber eyes flickered in your direction. He was clearly annoyed.

“How can it not matter? I am not me without my grace! Now there is the fact that my brothers definitely know about us and I can’t do a damn thing until I recharge.”

You slapped your hands on your thighs before getting up and looking into the kitchen where Sam, Dean, Jack, Adam, and Cas stood watching the two of you. Rolling your eyes, you turned back to Gabriel. The more you looked at him, the more he resembled the archangel that you first met. His eyes were cold and made you think of Raphael's eyes

“It's not like this house is full of hunters! I mean, hell, we can all be pretty kick-ass if push comes to shove.”

“You think that you are going to beat two beings that have been around since the beginning of time by threatening to carve your initials into their forehead? Please! I can tell you stuff about what we as archangels have done that would make you shiver in fear. I’m not a pet, Y/n. I am still an archangel and could hurt you very easily if I wanted to.”

Gabriel’s tone was almost foreign.

“Yeah, but you won’t.”

Gabriel stood up. He quickly reached out and pulled you into his arms.

“Of course not, but my brothers will. We have to come up with something.”

You nodded, snuggling your face into his shoulder. Reaching up, you stroked your fingers through his hair. You couldn’t help but feel a little sad when Gabriel tensed under your touch.

“We will. We always do...besides we won’t be on our own. Come on, let’s go to my room. I want some time without my doofus brothers listening in.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“That sounds really nice.”

Once in your room, Gabriel wrapped his arms around you. You relaxed in his arms before slowly beginning to unbutton his shirt. Gabriel didn’t move for a moment before taking your hand into his.

“We don’t have to rush.”

You nodded.

“I know, we don’t but...I need this.”

You stood on your tiptoes and pressed a chaste kiss to Gabriel’s lips. When he smiled against your mouth, you felt relieved.

“I never said that I didn’t want it. How long has it been?”

Gabriel gently stroked his finger down your cheek before tilting your face to his. You sighed.

“At least 3 months.”

Gabriel chuckled and pulled you toward the bed.

“Then we have 3 months to make up for.”

___________

@brokencasbutt67-writer

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[adambstingus]

5 BS Celebrity Stories We Need To Stop Clicking On

We are currently drowning in a sea of entertainment news. For every one event in Hollywood, there are 500 articles written about it. This means that in order to get hits, some websites find themselves bending the truth eeeeeever so slightly. Or in the case of headlines like these, they take the truth, put it in a paper bag, and light it on fire on your doorstep for you to stomp out.

5

Your Favorite Star Just Teased Their Next Big Movie! Or Not!

Before the internet, you mostly found out that a new movie was going to be released when you saw a trailer which confirmed that yes, Batman would be returning. Now, you can learn such information years in advance, due to headlines screaming that the star or director has proclaimed a movie is “in the works,” or something to that effect. Then, two years later, you’re like, “Wait, wasn’t that thing supposed to be out by now?” That’s because those headlines are usually manufactured bullshit.

For example, while I was writing this, Rotten Tomatoes said the biggest story of the week was Steven Spielberg revealing that after Harrison Ford goes scowling into retirement, the next Indiana Jones would be played by a woman:

Stuff

Complex

CNN

But Spielberg didn’t really say that at all. He said the upcoming Indiana Jones film would be the last for Harrison Ford, so the series could only continue in a different form (i.e. as a reboot). A tabloid straight up asked him about going with a female lead, and he said that there was nothing wrong with it and joked, “We’d have to change the name from Jones to Joan,” revealing that, while he is a master filmmaker, he is first and foremost a dad.

Throw in the fact that Spielberg doesn’t own the rights to Indiana Jones (Disney will decide where the franchise goes next), and you realize that asking about anything beyond his personal involvement is futile. But interviewers do this all the time. They give a leading question about a film, get a vague “sure,” then run with the scoop. For example, interviewers have been asking Scarlett Johansson about a solo Black Widow movie for years, resulting in headlines like …

Polygon

… which is misleading, because there is no “Black Widow movie” set in stone yet. Or they’ll ask Marvel captain Kevin Feige, leading to the headline …

Empire Online

… even though an exec saying they’re “creatively and emotionally … most committing to” Black Widow but not actually putting it on their three-year schedule is the exact opposite of a commitment. It’s like when your parents said “We’ll see” when you asked them to buy you a drum kit.

No matter what project it is, whether it’s a TV show or a movie or a stick figure flipbook of a boy hitting a can with a stick, you’ll find the same bullshit. Asked about a Family Guy movie, a producer said, “There are no specific plans,” but also, “if I were a gambling man, I’d say within the next five years,” and joked that he was putting money on that. Thus, headlines read:

Independent

This is a pattern you’ll see throughout this article — celebrities will say vague shit off the cuff, and journalists will dig through it for a headline. In fact, it’s pretty hard to find an actual article about an interview that feels honest. One of the few that I found concerned Daniel Craig, who, when asked about playing James Bond after Spectre, said, “I’d rather break this glass and slash my wrists.”

The 25th James Bond film stars Daniel Craig and hits theaters next year.

4

A Celebrity Admitted That They HATE Their New Film! But Not Really!

When an actor hates life on set or hates their famous role, that makes for a hell of a story. But you’re probably only going to hear it years later, because no actor wants a reputation for sabotage. So every time you see a headline about an actor badmouthing their movie, there’s a good chance that they … didn’t badmouth anything. For example, apparently, the lead actress in the new Tomb Raider began literally taking a dump on a film reel when asked about her experience playing Lara Croft.

Bounding Into Comics

Wow, Alicia Vikander trashes Tomb Raider? Let’s see this clip, in which she says … the previous movies were good, hers is also good, the video game’s realism was good, a sequel might be good, and, in the last 15 seconds, she agrees with the interviewer that it’s weird that the film has so few women in it. Huh. She didn’t trash anything.

OK, well then how about when Jennifer Lawrence spontaneously burst into flame when asked about playing Mystique one more time:

Refinery29

Lawrence’s first quote in the article is “I love these movies.” She then says that she loves the director, and loves fans, and that Dark Phoenix is her best experience yet. So what does she hate? “The paint.” Getting into costume is difficult. You might notice that this isn’t bashing the film. Very few people like to be doused in paint and latex for 16 hours a day. Most people don’t like wearing pants for 16 hours a day. So it’s not unreasonable, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean that she “hates being in X-Men,” as the headline proclaims.

OK, fine. So it seems like a lot of these sites are blowing minor things out of proportion. But how about the time that Batman v Superman was so boring that it caused Michael Shannon to slip into a coma?

GQ

First off, Shannon wasn’t in Batman v Superman. They used a rubber model of him. He was never on set, and though he recorded a few lines, they weren’t used. Also, he fell asleep while watching it on the tiny screen on an airplane, because it was an international flight and he was tuckered.

But what about actors who hate their characters? That’s got to be something that happens in real life. Actors who find the characters they play to be so morally reprehensible that they have to shout it out loud. Actors like Jamie Dornan, the guy who portrayed Christian Grey, who was apparently doing something to the extent of burning copies of Fifty Shades Of Grey on set.

The Loop

Nope, he only says that Christian’s “not the sort of bloke I’d get along with. All my mates are easy going and quick to laugh.” And who would want to hang out with the characters they portray? Jack Nicholson doesn’t sit around waiting for homicidal clowns to buy him a beer, and Dornan probably won’t be chilling with any sociopathic billionaires in the near future.

3

This Celebrity Is Fed Up With Political Correctness! Maybe?

Hollywood is known as a bastion of liberalism, but if you believe clickbaity headlines, aging actors with no stake in the matter are calling press conferences to loudly tell they world that they’re not going to take it anymore. You tell ’em, boys!

Express

AOL

Read Next

Create A Jetson’s Future With This Machine Learning Bundle

Almost always, a site is reprinting one extract from a much longer interview some other outlet did on a bunch of topics, such as John Hurt’s terminal cancer diagnosis, or Eastwood doing family friendly films against his lawyer’s advice. “70/80-year-old thinks younger people are different” may be the least interesting part of the interview, but it’s the only part the sites highlight, so they can scratch a specific itch. I’d love to tell you the movie stuff John Rhys-Davies told Adam Corolla or Mel Brooks told BBC, but the full recordings are gone, and all we have left is:

Hollywood Reporter

DailyWire

But that’s all old news. Here’s the latest on Seinfeld and Alec Baldwin literally calling the #MeToo movement shit!

Page Six

Famous News

Must Haves

By “bowel movement,” Seinfeld meant we’re expelling something we must be rid of — the harassers are the shit in this metaphor. It’s a #MeToo endorsement. The story could really have been just about smarmy Baldwin being an ass (watch Seinfeld alternate between agreeable and then dying inside, realizing he must tactfully fight Baldwin on this), but the twist here is that Baldwin was the interviewer. He was luring Seinfeld into making their conversation controversial. Jerry didn’t take the bait. The media did.

When Matt Damon was interviewed about #MeToo, one line got quoted again and again. “There’s a difference between, you know, patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right?”

Huffington Post

Boston

Out of context, it comes off like his entire cause is to defend butt pats, proclaiming it loudly and defiantly with a sword and shield in front of the Damon family crest. But Damon was talking about an actual person who’d touched butts and an actual person who’d molested children, saying there’s literally a difference (one so obvious, you might call it self-evident) — but noted that both acts “need to be confronted and eradicated without question.” He also said a bunch of other pro-#MeToo stuff, and then a really interesting bit on NDAs.

But the headline’s going to be whichever part grabs the most outrage. If manufacturing disagreement and drumming up hatred is what it takes to pay the bills, then that’s what they do.

2

Holy Shit, The Star Was Injured On Set! Or Maybe They’re Just Joking!

Acting can be physically challenging. And like any activity that requires movement, you can get injured while you do it. SERIOUSLY injured. Like Jennifer Lawrence in Mother! levels of injured:

Indiewire

LADBible

Indy100

Given that rib dislocation isn’t a real thing, I wondered whether this was a joke (specifically a reference to the movie, in which Ed Harris loses a rib). Or they might have meant some other rib injury, and Lawrence also supposedly tore her diaphragm. Diaphragm rupture is a real injury … one usually caused by stabbing, gunshots, or car accidents. If someone ruptures their diaphragm and hurts a rib by “hyperventilating,” that would be an extreme medical oddity, not a cute anecdote about how method J-Law is.

But no one apparently cares enough to clarify. Also, “breathing so hard she ripped herself open” is apparently a whole genre of on-set accident:

Express

US Magazine

A ripped stomach muscle is generally not caused by yelling a bunch. Was Theron even being serious? It’s reported seriously, but in the interview, everyone’s laughing throughout. She gave the stomach story in another interview too, and the interviewer immediately changed the subject to her wardrobe.

And wait till you hear about poor, afflicted Gary Oldman:

Screenrant

NME

Independent

He did say that. But actual nicotine poisoning is a big deal — as in phone poison control, because it can be fatal. And it’s caused by swallowing a lot of nicotine at once, not by smoking for several weeks. Maybe Oldman only meant “I went through a whole LOT of cigars”? That’s not dramatic enough. Gotta hint that the toxic cigars have brought him one step closer to the grave.

I’m not calling these celebrities filthy liars. Maybe something crazy did happen to them, or maybe they’re indulging in a little hyperbole to liven up some interviews. And that’s fine, as this is the film junket and not 60 Minutes. But unexplained anecdotes shouldn’t end up as headlines, not without additional reporting.

So when Jonah Hill talks for 25 seconds about being hospitalized for bronchitis due to snorting Wolf Of Wall Street‘s fake coke, maybe 800 sites don’t have to share that in a headline. Not until someone asks, “When you first said this a couple years ago, you didn’t mention hospitalization and weren’t so sure it was bronchitis, and also, bronchitis doesn’t lead to hospitalization, unless you’re like 90 years old. So what I’m asking is this, Mr. Hill: Are you secretly 90 years old?”

1

A Celebrity Confirmed Your Favorite Fan Theory! If You Twist Their Words A Bit!

Fan theories are so prevalent now that they’re getting back to the actors involved. For instance, someone sat Neil Patrick Harris down and asked about the popular fan theory that How I Met Your Mother‘s Barney wasn’t really a womanizing jerk — we just see him that way because unreliable narrator Ted wants his kids to hate Barney so they’ll prefer that Robin be with Ted. Harris said that the theory made a lot of sense. So we were all treated to headlines saying:

Pretty 52

Digital Spy

The Sun

But Harris didn’t confirm anything. He didn’t offer insider info about what the writers intended, or about how he played the character. Nor did J.K. Rowling when she said a convoluted fan theory about Dumbledore being the physical embodiment of Death is “beautiful and it fits,” yet headlines reported that she too had “confirmed” a huge fan theory. And nor did the Jar Jar Binks actor when headlines said he released a “Bombshell” about Jar Jar being a Sith Lord. (He said, “That’s really a George Lucas question. I cannot answer that question.”) At this point, it seems like literally any combination of words would have been interpreted as a confirmation.

The reality is that celebrities will almost always cheerfully nod along with a fan theory if it’s interesting enough. They’ll even jokingly accept balls-out absurd theories, and don’t count on websites spinning their amusement into truth bombs. So no, no one on iCarly seriously confirmed their character is half-bee (but headlines say they did). Tom Holland didn’t confirm that he keeps a frog in his mouth (but headlines say he did). And Steve from Stranger Things is probably not the father of Jean Ralphio from Parks And Rec, despite the headlines that screamed that the genealogy lined up.

Headlines about fan theories are next-level bullshit because they’re lies about fiction. And besides, the coolest fan theories are so weird and so involved that they’ll probably never be confirmed. Let’s say your theory connects all the Pixar movies, and it later becomes the most famous theory of our age. Don’t wait for Disney to “confirm” it. If you like the theory, believe it, and to hell with anyone who says you’re wrong. To return to Star Wars again, Mark Hamill said of a fan theory, “I’d say it is meant to be interpreted by the viewer … You should not be ashamed of it.”

Vanity Fair‘s headline about that interview with Hamill:

Vanity Fair

CONFIRMED! THANKS, MARK!

Follow Ryan Menezes on Twitter for bits cut from this article and other stuff no one should see.

Start collecting your own sound bites for the world to misinterpret, get yourself an audio recorder.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more dumb news that shouldn’t be news, check out 5 Stupid Things We Need To Stop Clicking On and 6 News Stories Everybody Needs To Stop Sharing On Facebook.

You SHOULD click on THIS LINK and follow us on Facebook.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-bs-celebrity-stories-we-need-to-stop-clicking-on/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182618263082

[allofbeercom]

5 BS Celebrity Stories We Need To Stop Clicking On

We are currently drowning in a sea of entertainment news. For every one event in Hollywood, there are 500 articles written about it. This means that in order to get hits, some websites find themselves bending the truth eeeeeever so slightly. Or in the case of headlines like these, they take the truth, put it in a paper bag, and light it on fire on your doorstep for you to stomp out.

5

Your Favorite Star Just Teased Their Next Big Movie! Or Not!

Before the internet, you mostly found out that a new movie was going to be released when you saw a trailer which confirmed that yes, Batman would be returning. Now, you can learn such information years in advance, due to headlines screaming that the star or director has proclaimed a movie is “in the works,” or something to that effect. Then, two years later, you’re like, “Wait, wasn’t that thing supposed to be out by now?” That’s because those headlines are usually manufactured bullshit.

For example, while I was writing this, Rotten Tomatoes said the biggest story of the week was Steven Spielberg revealing that after Harrison Ford goes scowling into retirement, the next Indiana Jones would be played by a woman:

Stuff

Complex

CNN

But Spielberg didn’t really say that at all. He said the upcoming Indiana Jones film would be the last for Harrison Ford, so the series could only continue in a different form (i.e. as a reboot). A tabloid straight up asked him about going with a female lead, and he said that there was nothing wrong with it and joked, “We’d have to change the name from Jones to Joan,” revealing that, while he is a master filmmaker, he is first and foremost a dad.

Throw in the fact that Spielberg doesn’t own the rights to Indiana Jones (Disney will decide where the franchise goes next), and you realize that asking about anything beyond his personal involvement is futile. But interviewers do this all the time. They give a leading question about a film, get a vague “sure,” then run with the scoop. For example, interviewers have been asking Scarlett Johansson about a solo Black Widow movie for years, resulting in headlines like …

Polygon

… which is misleading, because there is no “Black Widow movie” set in stone yet. Or they’ll ask Marvel captain Kevin Feige, leading to the headline …

Empire Online

… even though an exec saying they’re “creatively and emotionally … most committing to” Black Widow but not actually putting it on their three-year schedule is the exact opposite of a commitment. It’s like when your parents said “We’ll see” when you asked them to buy you a drum kit.

No matter what project it is, whether it’s a TV show or a movie or a stick figure flipbook of a boy hitting a can with a stick, you’ll find the same bullshit. Asked about a Family Guy movie, a producer said, “There are no specific plans,” but also, “if I were a gambling man, I’d say within the next five years,” and joked that he was putting money on that. Thus, headlines read:

Independent

This is a pattern you’ll see throughout this article — celebrities will say vague shit off the cuff, and journalists will dig through it for a headline. In fact, it’s pretty hard to find an actual article about an interview that feels honest. One of the few that I found concerned Daniel Craig, who, when asked about playing James Bond after Spectre, said, “I’d rather break this glass and slash my wrists.”

The 25th James Bond film stars Daniel Craig and hits theaters next year.

4

A Celebrity Admitted That They HATE Their New Film! But Not Really!

When an actor hates life on set or hates their famous role, that makes for a hell of a story. But you’re probably only going to hear it years later, because no actor wants a reputation for sabotage. So every time you see a headline about an actor badmouthing their movie, there’s a good chance that they … didn’t badmouth anything. For example, apparently, the lead actress in the new Tomb Raider began literally taking a dump on a film reel when asked about her experience playing Lara Croft.

Bounding Into Comics

Wow, Alicia Vikander trashes Tomb Raider? Let’s see this clip, in which she says … the previous movies were good, hers is also good, the video game’s realism was good, a sequel might be good, and, in the last 15 seconds, she agrees with the interviewer that it’s weird that the film has so few women in it. Huh. She didn’t trash anything.

OK, well then how about when Jennifer Lawrence spontaneously burst into flame when asked about playing Mystique one more time:

Refinery29

Lawrence’s first quote in the article is “I love these movies.” She then says that she loves the director, and loves fans, and that Dark Phoenix is her best experience yet. So what does she hate? “The paint.” Getting into costume is difficult. You might notice that this isn’t bashing the film. Very few people like to be doused in paint and latex for 16 hours a day. Most people don’t like wearing pants for 16 hours a day. So it’s not unreasonable, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean that she “hates being in X-Men,” as the headline proclaims.

OK, fine. So it seems like a lot of these sites are blowing minor things out of proportion. But how about the time that Batman v Superman was so boring that it caused Michael Shannon to slip into a coma?

GQ

First off, Shannon wasn’t in Batman v Superman. They used a rubber model of him. He was never on set, and though he recorded a few lines, they weren’t used. Also, he fell asleep while watching it on the tiny screen on an airplane, because it was an international flight and he was tuckered.

But what about actors who hate their characters? That’s got to be something that happens in real life. Actors who find the characters they play to be so morally reprehensible that they have to shout it out loud. Actors like Jamie Dornan, the guy who portrayed Christian Grey, who was apparently doing something to the extent of burning copies of Fifty Shades Of Grey on set.

The Loop

Nope, he only says that Christian’s “not the sort of bloke I’d get along with. All my mates are easy going and quick to laugh.” And who would want to hang out with the characters they portray? Jack Nicholson doesn’t sit around waiting for homicidal clowns to buy him a beer, and Dornan probably won’t be chilling with any sociopathic billionaires in the near future.

3

This Celebrity Is Fed Up With Political Correctness! Maybe?

Hollywood is known as a bastion of liberalism, but if you believe clickbaity headlines, aging actors with no stake in the matter are calling press conferences to loudly tell they world that they’re not going to take it anymore. You tell ’em, boys!

Express

AOL

Read Next

Create A Jetson's Future With This Machine Learning Bundle

Almost always, a site is reprinting one extract from a much longer interview some other outlet did on a bunch of topics, such as John Hurt’s terminal cancer diagnosis, or Eastwood doing family friendly films against his lawyer’s advice. “70/80-year-old thinks younger people are different” may be the least interesting part of the interview, but it’s the only part the sites highlight, so they can scratch a specific itch. I’d love to tell you the movie stuff John Rhys-Davies told Adam Corolla or Mel Brooks told BBC, but the full recordings are gone, and all we have left is:

Hollywood Reporter

DailyWire

But that’s all old news. Here’s the latest on Seinfeld and Alec Baldwin literally calling the #MeToo movement shit!

Page Six

Famous News

Must Haves

By “bowel movement,” Seinfeld meant we’re expelling something we must be rid of — the harassers are the shit in this metaphor. It’s a #MeToo endorsement. The story could really have been just about smarmy Baldwin being an ass (watch Seinfeld alternate between agreeable and then dying inside, realizing he must tactfully fight Baldwin on this), but the twist here is that Baldwin was the interviewer. He was luring Seinfeld into making their conversation controversial. Jerry didn’t take the bait. The media did.

When Matt Damon was interviewed about #MeToo, one line got quoted again and again. “There’s a difference between, you know, patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right?”

Huffington Post

Boston

Out of context, it comes off like his entire cause is to defend butt pats, proclaiming it loudly and defiantly with a sword and shield in front of the Damon family crest. But Damon was talking about an actual person who’d touched butts and an actual person who’d molested children, saying there’s literally a difference (one so obvious, you might call it self-evident) — but noted that both acts “need to be confronted and eradicated without question.” He also said a bunch of other pro-#MeToo stuff, and then a really interesting bit on NDAs.

But the headline’s going to be whichever part grabs the most outrage. If manufacturing disagreement and drumming up hatred is what it takes to pay the bills, then that’s what they do.

2

Holy Shit, The Star Was Injured On Set! Or Maybe They’re Just Joking!

Acting can be physically challenging. And like any activity that requires movement, you can get injured while you do it. SERIOUSLY injured. Like Jennifer Lawrence in Mother! levels of injured:

Indiewire

LADBible

Indy100

Given that rib dislocation isn’t a real thing, I wondered whether this was a joke (specifically a reference to the movie, in which Ed Harris loses a rib). Or they might have meant some other rib injury, and Lawrence also supposedly tore her diaphragm. Diaphragm rupture is a real injury … one usually caused by stabbing, gunshots, or car accidents. If someone ruptures their diaphragm and hurts a rib by “hyperventilating,” that would be an extreme medical oddity, not a cute anecdote about how method J-Law is.

But no one apparently cares enough to clarify. Also, “breathing so hard she ripped herself open” is apparently a whole genre of on-set accident:

Express

US Magazine

A ripped stomach muscle is generally not caused by yelling a bunch. Was Theron even being serious? It’s reported seriously, but in the interview, everyone’s laughing throughout. She gave the stomach story in another interview too, and the interviewer immediately changed the subject to her wardrobe.

And wait till you hear about poor, afflicted Gary Oldman:

Screenrant

NME

Independent

He did say that. But actual nicotine poisoning is a big deal — as in phone poison control, because it can be fatal. And it’s caused by swallowing a lot of nicotine at once, not by smoking for several weeks. Maybe Oldman only meant “I went through a whole LOT of cigars”? That’s not dramatic enough. Gotta hint that the toxic cigars have brought him one step closer to the grave.

I’m not calling these celebrities filthy liars. Maybe something crazy did happen to them, or maybe they’re indulging in a little hyperbole to liven up some interviews. And that’s fine, as this is the film junket and not 60 Minutes. But unexplained anecdotes shouldn’t end up as headlines, not without additional reporting.

So when Jonah Hill talks for 25 seconds about being hospitalized for bronchitis due to snorting Wolf Of Wall Street‘s fake coke, maybe 800 sites don’t have to share that in a headline. Not until someone asks, “When you first said this a couple years ago, you didn’t mention hospitalization and weren’t so sure it was bronchitis, and also, bronchitis doesn’t lead to hospitalization, unless you’re like 90 years old. So what I’m asking is this, Mr. Hill: Are you secretly 90 years old?”

1

A Celebrity Confirmed Your Favorite Fan Theory! If You Twist Their Words A Bit!

Fan theories are so prevalent now that they’re getting back to the actors involved. For instance, someone sat Neil Patrick Harris down and asked about the popular fan theory that How I Met Your Mother‘s Barney wasn’t really a womanizing jerk — we just see him that way because unreliable narrator Ted wants his kids to hate Barney so they’ll prefer that Robin be with Ted. Harris said that the theory made a lot of sense. So we were all treated to headlines saying:

Pretty 52

Digital Spy

The Sun

But Harris didn’t confirm anything. He didn’t offer insider info about what the writers intended, or about how he played the character. Nor did J.K. Rowling when she said a convoluted fan theory about Dumbledore being the physical embodiment of Death is “beautiful and it fits,” yet headlines reported that she too had “confirmed” a huge fan theory. And nor did the Jar Jar Binks actor when headlines said he released a “Bombshell” about Jar Jar being a Sith Lord. (He said, “That’s really a George Lucas question. I cannot answer that question.”) At this point, it seems like literally any combination of words would have been interpreted as a confirmation.

The reality is that celebrities will almost always cheerfully nod along with a fan theory if it’s interesting enough. They’ll even jokingly accept balls-out absurd theories, and don’t count on websites spinning their amusement into truth bombs. So no, no one on iCarly seriously confirmed their character is half-bee (but headlines say they did). Tom Holland didn’t confirm that he keeps a frog in his mouth (but headlines say he did). And Steve from Stranger Things is probably not the father of Jean Ralphio from Parks And Rec, despite the headlines that screamed that the genealogy lined up.

Headlines about fan theories are next-level bullshit because they’re lies about fiction. And besides, the coolest fan theories are so weird and so involved that they’ll probably never be confirmed. Let’s say your theory connects all the Pixar movies, and it later becomes the most famous theory of our age. Don’t wait for Disney to “confirm” it. If you like the theory, believe it, and to hell with anyone who says you’re wrong. To return to Star Wars again, Mark Hamill said of a fan theory, “I’d say it is meant to be interpreted by the viewer … You should not be ashamed of it.”

Vanity Fair‘s headline about that interview with Hamill:

Vanity Fair

CONFIRMED! THANKS, MARK!

Follow Ryan Menezes on Twitter for bits cut from this article and other stuff no one should see.

Start collecting your own sound bites for the world to misinterpret, get yourself an audio recorder.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more dumb news that shouldn’t be news, check out 5 Stupid Things We Need To Stop Clicking On and 6 News Stories Everybody Needs To Stop Sharing On Facebook.

You SHOULD click on THIS LINK and follow us on Facebook.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-bs-celebrity-stories-we-need-to-stop-clicking-on/