#what if i was never fully happy ever again.

[ashhh-14]

A Serene Embrace

Husband!Aventurine x Reader

Synopsis : A soft homely evening with your husband Aventurine

Warning : domestic maybe?, very soft and fluffy, you cook him dinner, cuddling and the usual!

A/n : After what he went through, he deserves only the best. Happy reading!

"How was work?" You asked, smiling at your husband as you picked up the dishes from the table, placing them into the sink.

"It was fine." He said, running a hand through his sandy blonde hair as he sighed softly, continuing, "I had to set the plan for my next destination. It was a little tiring."

His chair screeched against the floor. You hummed, questioning as you started doing the dishes. " So is the layout set for it then?"

Two strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind, surprising you. "No it's not done yet. It'll take a month or two it's a long one." He mumbled softly, burying his face into your neck. Peppering gentle kisses across it his hand tried holding your soapy ones to stop you from doing the dishes.

"Let me do them. You must be tired from your work too." You chuckled softly, pushing his hands away as you continued doing them.

"I'm not that tired. I took off early today from the gallery. I wanted to cook something good for you." Turning your head back you leaned a little, placing a soft kiss against his cheek.

He nodded in response, sleep evident in his action as he buried his face again, his both hands slipping inside your shirt, one just laying on your stomach while the other's thumb rubbed shapes across your belly comfortingly.

"Why don't you go and lay down? I'll join you as soon as you're done." You tried reasoning, but your husband stood on his decision.

Shaking his head, his arms tightened around your waist. "Been working too much lately. Want to spend time with my Treasure."

Both pity and warmth blossomed in your chest as you set to doing the dishes faster as he stood there, his head propped on your shoulder, watching your hands rub soap on each dish before washing it with water, making them squeaky clean as you piled them into the rack.

"Okay I'm done" You announced, drying your hands on a towel as you pried his arms away from you.

He gazed down at you as you placed the towel back in its place.

One hand came up to hold the side of your face as the other wrapped around you and pulled you closer.

You breath shuddered as you felt his thumb rub over your bottom lip, his eyes never leaving the subject of attention. No matter how long it is that you've been together, it still felt like day one with him.

He bent down slowly, tilting your head as his lips brushed against yours, his breathtaking eyes still not leaving yours before he fully pressed them, closing his eyes and pulling you closer.

You pulled away after a while, breathless as you looked from beneath the lashes to see his hooded gaze on you.

Placing both of your palms against his face, you ran your thumbs against the apples of his cheeks. "Let's get to bed."

..…..

"I'm sorry for coming home so late Treasure. I really don't mean to. It's just-" you hush him with a stern voice.

"Aven" squeezing your arms around him tighter, a warning, Daring him to continue.

He picked up both your legs, placing them across his lap as he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you more into his side.

"Okay Okay I won't repeat that again I promise." He chuckled, placing a gentle kiss on top of your head.

You huffed a 'good', placing your head on his chest, listening to the way his heart thumped with a rhythmic beat.

You felt fingers in your hair, the tips rubbing against your scalp in back and forth in motion as you felt his chest vibrate with each word he spoke.

"Does it ever get annoying? Having to move houses every few months due to my work I mean?" His voice was soft asking this, almost vulnerable as you lifted your head, looking at him.

"No." You answered, smiling softly and you almost felt your husband's eyes rack over your face for any sign of lies.

You explained. "It's not annoying. I don't really mind switching houses or my jobs. Home is not a structure. Home is you. Wherever that is."

A look of mild surprise took over your husband's features before he pulled you back against him, placing his head on top of your head as he closed his eyes, trying to drink back the wetness that suddenly pooled his eyes.

Running a steady hand against your back, he released a sigh to steady himself as his mind flooded with past memories.

He pushed them back, regaining his consciousness back in this moment as he pulled away a little, letting you rest against him comfortably once again.

"I love you Treasure." Kissing your forehead he looked down, eyes going soft as they took in your peaceful features.

A gentle rumble left his chest as he whispered to no one in particular "So much for saying you're not tired."

He readjusted you in a more comfortable position, kissing the top of your head once again "I don't really think i deserve it but thank you for doing so much for me, Treasure."

Aventurine Masterlist

Masterlist

Written by yours truly

[thefreakandthehair]

I just wanna see that smile

wc: 1.1k | tags: canon-compliant injury/recovery, hospital setting, getting together, (brief and inferred mutual) pining, first kiss

a/n: happy (belated) birthday to my pal, @firefly-party! kei drew this piece last year and it was one of the first artworks we talked about when we became friends. this series has continued to live in my brain ever since, so I decided to write a little something in the universe!

Eddie woke up on March 26th, 1986 and Steve’s waited patiently for this moment ever since. 

Well, patient is a misnomer— he’d waited quietly to anyone not named Robin or Dustin. Robin, because she knows him too well and there’s no point in trying to hide anything from her and Dustin, because he’d apparently grown up overnight and pieced together that Steve sitting at Eddie’s bedside and holding his fucking hand every time he waltzed into the room meant something. 

Or maybe it was when Steve gave Eddie all of his rings back, sliding them carefully onto his shaking fingers with a comforting smile. 

Or maybe when Eddie sat up unassisted for the first time and Steve nearly hit the ceiling, bracing him in a panic as if all of his stitches and staples would burst with the tiny movement he’d been working toward in physical therapy. 

Hell, maybe it was Steve taking over some of Eddie’s care for himself, washing his hair and braiding it because the staff at Hawkins Memorial are doing nothing more than the bare minimum to make sure they don’t get sued, or even more frightening, reamed out by the new duo of Hopper and Wayne again. Either way, his hair was making Steve’s own scalp itchy. 

Dustin never tells Steve what it was exactly that tipped him off but whatever it was, it’s enough for Dustin to give Steve the floor when Eddie’s getting ready to discharge back home. And that’s how, exactly two months later to the day from Eddie waking up, Steve enters Eddie’s otherwise empty room armed with a special treat in the form of milkshakes to find Eddie pouring over an unfortunately familiar stack of papers. 

“NDA?” Steve asks, nodding at the papers in Eddie’s lap. He’s upright, fully dressed in the black sweatpants Jeff brought by and a cut off Metallica tee shirt, bandages around his stomach and neck. 

Eddie mutters as he reads under his breath, eyes flitting across the page. 

“How the fuck do they expect any of us common folk to understand a fucking word of this? Hereby? Wherein? Hitherto? What fucking year did I wake up in, man?”

“Yeah, I think the whole point is that you don’t read what you’re signing but I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Steve huffs a small laugh through his nose as he steps carefully around Eddie’s crutches. “You may as well just sign it because if you don’t, they’ll forge it anyway. Now finish signing your life rights away so you can have this milkshake with me.” 

Eddie perks up, looking away from the mess of papers and smiling up at Steve with a smile so genuine, it punches the air out of his lungs. He keeps looking at him like this, like Steve’s a breath of fresh air, like he's someone Eddie wants to have around. 

Steve isn’t sure what to do with that look yet, but he’s sure glad it’s there. 

“Celebration milkshakes? Is this a freedom gift?” Eddie signs the NDA quickly and sets the pen down on the bed next to him. 

“It sure is. Figured this could make up for all those lame popsicles from the cafeteria.” 

The mattress creaks as Steve sits down on the edge, just to the side of the railing, and hands Eddie the strawberry treat. Their fingers graze, Steve’s chilled and Eddie’s warm. His hand is still a little shaky, trembling as he takes hold of the cup, but they’re warm and warm means alive. 

Eddie’s hand can tremble for the rest of his goddamn life so long as it’s always warm. 

They each take a sip, smooth ice cream slurping up their straws, and after a moment, Eddie sighs.

“Is it weird that I’m actually sort of worried about leaving?” 

Steve’s eyebrows knit together, looking down at Eddie’s rings glinting beneath the offensive fluorescent lights above them.

“What are you worried about?”

“Uh, well, I did almost die. And the town still wishes I did. It’s a lot easier to make those dreams a reality outside of these walls, y’know? And I’m uh…” Steve watches as Eddie takes a breath and Steve suddenly misses the early days when Eddie was connected to the heart rate monitor. 

“You’re…?” Steve presses, sipping his milkshake again to appear casual. 

“I see you all the time here. Guess I just don’t want that to change.” 

Steve’s heart skips a beat, clattering in his chest and pounding at his ribs, desperately trying to crack him right open and run to the man who’s claimed it. Eddie watches him with cautious eyes, opens his mouth to say something else but Steve cuts him off before he can take it back. 

“Why do you think that’d change? Forest Hills is a lot closer than this shithole, and you won’t be kept under lock and key. And as for the first thing, well, Wayne and Nancy have a lot in common and I have a bat loaded up with nails in the trunk of my car.” Steve rests his free hand on Eddie’s knee. “No one's gonna fuck with you. Don’t worry about that.” 

“You sound a little cocky there, Stevie.” Eddie lifts one eyebrow, glancing from Steve’s hand up to his eyes. “Ready to fight for my honor or something?”

“Yep.” 

He hadn’t brought the milkshakes intending to use them as props, but he’s glad he has something to do to fill the space as Eddie watches him with questioning eyes. As he slurps through the straw, grating noise still preferable over the awkward silence, Eddie’s pinched expression turns softer, realization dawning between the stark white walls of the hospital and the pink ice cream in both of their hands. 

“You’re serious.” Eddie says. 

“Took you that long to figure that out?” Steve teases. 

“I’ve been a little busy with learning how to breathe and walk again. Y’know, just little things.” Eddie rolls his eyes with that same fond smile, free hand lacing its fingers through Steve’s. “So what you’re saying is that I’ll see you just as much outside of this prison as I have inside of it?” 

Steve shrugs. “Probably even more, honestly. There are no visiting hours at Wayne’s, and it’s not like I have a job to rush off to these days. You’re stuck with me, Ed. At least for as long as you want me around.” 

Eddie snorts, unceremoniously scoffing in Steve’s face as if in disbelief.

“Don’t make promises like that. What happens when I never want you to leave?” 

The air shifts, growing heavier as they find themselves leaning closer, two satellites orbiting one another by nothing but gravitational pull. 

Steve’s not sure who actually closes the gap, but he finds himself with his lips pressed against Eddie’s— sweet, chilled, a little chapped but smiling against his. Months of waiting, of hoping that he’d get this opportunity, come to a deafening crescendo and it takes all of his discipline to not push. Instead, they pull apart and Steve smiles, tucking loose hair behind Eddie’s ear. 

“That’s easy. I’d just never leave.”

fun fact: kei, I wrote your birthday down in my calendar as the 28th for some reason, a solid ten days late, so know that this was planned from the get-go but was just a tad bit late.

[kaivenom]

What happens when you try to seduce them with a dance... Straw hat's men HCS

Characters: Zoro, Sanji, Luffy, Ussop, Franky

Warnings: implied NSFW, suggestive language, the tittle says everything.

A/N: i plan on doing other parts with other characters, to not make it too long. There are the HCS and the situation.

Masterlist

Luffy

He doesn't get it, you start to dance slowly and he just stands right there blinking, completely oblivious.

He asked you what where you doing and thinking it was a funny to dance he started to get closer to you.

Once you take your shirt off and show him, he got stunned and stopped moving for a moment.

Only to start dancing again, this time slower and closer to you, his lips traveled to your neck and collarbone.

You didn't though Luffy could be so sexy but you were enjoing it really much.

He is now the one seducing you, but most likely he doesn't know about it.

Luffy entered your room and laid on the bed with a childish laugh. You were just in a shirt and shorts, but he doesn't tent to care about it. You played the music, starting to feel your body move with the sensual rhythm. Slowly cyrcling your hips trying to look as hot as possible. The thing is Luffy doesn't care about it and it's starting to annoy you.

You heard him laughing and the feeling of looking stupid staretd to hit you. When you were about to stop a pair of hands surrounded your waist awkardly.

"You look funny, i like see you dancing, i want to dance too."

"Luffy that's not what i was thinking."

"But it looked fun."

"i didn't mean to make it fun."

"Then what?"

He smiled like a kid not fully understanding and that was enough, you thought. You took of your shorts and shirt, exposing your naked chest to him. His gaze changed, hands starting to wander around your waist and torso, every second tightening the touch. He circle your arm and put your back against his chest. You start to feel his growing erectinon pressing against your underwear and hands starting to cup your breasts.

"Now, i find dancing more fun... but maybe i want another type of dancing."

"Oh, now you get it."

"Yeah."

That sounded like a whisper, Luffy starting to trace wet kisses among your neck, his hands trying to get you as close as possible, before he starts to guide both of you to the bed.

Zoro

You lightened his day, he thinks he doesn't have to do anything and just lay down.

He tries to act cocky and be the dominant, asking you to dance for him.

His eyes follow you, not wasting a second, a smirk never leaving his face.

Then probably he makes a bad comment, trying to sound dominant and you decide to fight back.

He almost succeded if it wasn't for how his mouth opened wide when you got on his lap, bit his lip and grab him by the neck.

You waited for him in a black lingerie set, his favourite one. Once he saw you, he didn't waste a second to ask you to dance. You were already prepared for that and music started playing on the background. His grin was bigger than you ever seen, expecting what's coming next. Slowly you begin to move closer to him, finally ending on his lap. Your butt painfully sowly brushing with his crotch, which grows bigger every second. You are happy he is enyoing it as much as you do. He finally decides to help a little and his hands travel to your hips, helping you move more fluent. When his hand grabbed your neck and his mouth burshed your hears, you almost let out a moan.

"That feels good, but i didn't know you were such a slult," you stopped instantly, "hey, what happened?"

Is incredible that he didn't get how bad that sounded, you thought for a moment that you should leave the room and leave him, regretting what he said, but a better idea came across.

"What did you call me?" you got free from his grip and put your hand on his neck, squeezing like he did with you.

His faced got really red, you never saw him got that flustered, his eyes glowing different but still with lust.

"Don't make me ask you again." your mouth liking his ear, that it's already hot and read.

"I called you slut." his voice sounded heavy, like he couldn't speak right.

"I don't like being called like that, i am your girlfriend... i've never called you such a bad thing."

You put almost all your weight on his crotch, that now it's fully erect, maybe he likes this new dynamic a litlle to much and that makes you smile.

"You want me to treat you bad?"

"Uh..." he is clearly speechless.

"You are a bad boy, you need a punishment." with a fast movement, you threw him on the bed, "you want that?"

He nodded, not being able to answer that. You thought for a moment on making him use his words like he does with you, but is his first time like that, so indulge him a little is a good option.

Sanji

Instantly nose bleed, we all know that.

But his body doesn't let him pass out while such an event happening in front of him.

He just stays there, static, almost making heart eyes.

WHen you touched his cheek, there was no turning back.

Kisses on your hand, your face, your neck, ears... every part of your body is now a temple for him to worship.

When you sat him on the edge of the bed and took of your shirt, leaving you on shorts and bra, a flow of blood went down his nose. That was a posibility, you already saw that coming but you were praying that he didn't fade out. Incredibly so, he didn't do it, his body was rigid and his eyes were shining. You already spotted his erection, he is really easy to turn on, but making him petrified it's more difficult, and that resulted in a confidence boost.

"Looks like someone is to stunned to speak."

Your movements flow thru the room, his mouth getting open while his hand slowly goes to palm his cock, he probably doesn't even know what he is doing. You decided to stop dancing, he clearly wasnt going to react more than that. Maybe putting your hand on his cheek has more effect.

The results were instant, when your hand carresed his cheek, his brain reactivated. Catching your hand and starting to kiss it desperatly, going up to your wrist, then your arm, then your shoulder.

"My beautiful, precious, amazing, hot, sexy, ... " you coudln't hear right all those compliments thanks to the kisses, but it's clearly that he wants to worship you.

His eyes never stop making contact with yours, his arms dragged you beneath him, now kissing your breasts, stomach and stopping om the border of your shirts.

"My love... "his voice sounded like a prayer, "let me worship your body, let me show you how much i love it."

It almost looked like his eyes were making the shape of hearts, hearts full of desire and admiration for you.

Ussop

You thought on doing this everytime he lock himself in his studio making new inventions.

When you finally decided to try it out, it ended up being not what you expected.

He got really nervous that someone could get in from one side, and for the other side he got really flustered and shy from your bolndess.

He becomes a really big mess, not knowing what to do next.

That's it, this is the last time he locks himself in the studio for days, it has been two days since he came out, not even visiting you. It's like he forgotten you were his girlfriend and that's when you take action. You were in front of the door, only with a set of lingeire and a coat to cover it, you don't want the rest of the crew to be involved in this, obviously.

"Hi, handsome," you lean on the door frame, letting the coat sligthy open.

"Hi..." his voice started to fade away and his face got really red.

He didn't say another word, just walked next to you. You thought he was going to kiss you but his hands catching the coat and closing it made a different statement.

"I did something wrong?" you asked concerned, maybe you entered on the wrong time.

"No, you are looking..." his eyes traveled your body once more and let out a sigh, "really good, but what if someone enters, what if someone was alrady in?"

"I am not that reckless, i just tried to make you pay attention to me."

His face got even more red, his eyes not knowing where to look your face, your body or another place. But you were obviously making a really big effect on him.

"I really want to do this, to see this," his hands almost open your coat to take a look at your body, "but i need to fish the work, when i finish it, believe me i will get there."

You smiled at him and kissed his cheek, before getting out you opened the coat again to let him take a look at his reward.

Franky

He can't take it seriously, once he saw you enter with a thong and a coat, all your attempts to seduce him dissapeared.

He put on his thong and started swinging around singing his songs and bouncing his ass.

You felt a little humiliated about not being taken seriously, when he saw that he started trying to seduce you.

That means, getting your coat and starting to dance.

It didn't turn you on, so he didn't seduce you, but he made you laugh and that lifted up your mood.

He knows sometimes his jokes and energy don't really match the moments but he tries to compensate.

You entered the room with a full lingerie set, that obsviously had a thong, because you know how much he loves them. You did a little wisthle to catch his attention away from the machine he was reparing.

"Hey, big boy." once he turned around and saw you, his energy busted up, but not in the way you expected.

"OHHHHH, SUPEEERRRRRRR, I have one of these too. LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT." he sarted dancing and showing his thong, ignoring your pouty face.

Suddently he took the coat you had before and put it on himself, a strange look comes across your face. He couldn't close the coat because of the height but started to dance around, imitating what you did earlier. That was the last straw you thought, maybe it's time for you to leave.

Then he tried to make some stripper's poses and got a cramp, you couldn't help but burst into laugh while your boyfriend is on the ground.

"AWWWW, my leggg!!!!"

"You asked for it."

"I was trying to compensate."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, i saw you sad, i know sometimes i make jokes on the wrong times."

You got on your knees and kiss his cheek while his massive arms start to trap you.

[pinkandlilacroses]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Angel - Paige bueckers

part 3

• summary {when an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

• warnings {drug use, angst}

• comment if you would like to be added to the taglist

bella’s pov

“ok you can go now” she says, emotionless

“oh”

“i mean, no offence but i have a girl coming soon, so you cant be here” she says laying on her back, breaking our eye contact

i don’t respond and put my clothes back on. this is fucked

“have a nice night”

i haven’t cried this much in months, walking through the halls, ugly crying.

‘paige’ has been blocked by ‘bella’

“bella whats wrong” avery says, empathetically

“i hate her, i hate her so much” i cry, barley being able to choke the words out

i look at avery after my response and i have never seen her that angry, there could fully be steam coming from her ears.

“please dont talk to her, please dont hurt her, please avery, please” i cry out, begging the infuriated girl

“why not bella, she deserves it” she yells

my tears dont stop and i feel like they will never stop pouring.

“tell me what she did”

i begin the tell her the events of tonight and her anger only grows.

“that fucking bitch” is all she can say in response

“but i blocked her, and im literally never gonna speak to her again” i say, trying to make a positive point, to counteract this negative situation

“you are never gonna speak to her again”

“im gonna go off to bed”

i feel broken, i got used. i wanted my first time with a girl to be meaningful, i know i like girls and i wanted to prove to myself that having sex with girls wasn’t wrong, but i feel wrong, i feel gross. i cant believe i would let myself be that vulnerable with someone i barley know. ive never been the one to have one night stands and ive only ever had sex with someone ive been in a relationship with.

i take my valium, something i swore to never use again after getting addicted, but its the only thing that works.

“hey, how are you feeling” avery ask’s, genuinely. i’ve never seen her be this gentle before

“wheres my weed”

“bella no”

“shut up avery”

i walk to the kitchen and unlock one of the drawers, and i see the stash. thank god

i know i shouldn’t smoke as a coping mechanism, but its the only thing that works, every time something bad happens to me, i turn to smoking

after going through 3 joints, im barley able to talk or stand up. perfect

knock

ugh

knock

fuck off

knock

“who is it” i say, it barley even sounded like words

“its azzi, is avery here”

who the fuck is azzi

“avery theres a bitch here for you” i say taking another drag

“oh my god! hey azzi” avery says, excitedly, why the fuck is she acting like that

“why are you so fucking happy” i ask, knowing full well how rude i sound

“this is azzi, shes in my psychology class and we have gotten pretty close” avery says, grabbing azzi and sitting next to me on the couch

“yo dont sit on my shit” i say, mad

“your bella right?” azzi says, happily. i hate happy people

“yeah”

“yeah avery’s told me alot about you” she says

“cool” i reply, dryly

“azzis on the basketball team” avery says, my eyes widen

“of course she is” i say, sarcastically. i hate basketball

“yeah, have you been to any games” she questioned, attempting to continue this boring conversation

“nah, i dont watch basketball”

“oh well you should sometime, avery keeps saying how she wants to go to a game” azzi says, looking at avery who begins giggling. sus

“bella your probably friends with some people on the team” avery says

“you wanna hit” i offer to azzi

“nah, i dont smoke”

“boring” i say, bluntly

“do you guys mind if some of my friends come over” azzi says

“no, no, thats perfectly fine” avery says, looking at azzi. basically eye fucking her

“who” i ask

“ice, kk, aubrey, nika and ashlee” she lists

fuck my life. im to high to care

“yeah whatever” i say, lazily

“ok perfect, ill tell them to come” azzi says, excitedly

“are you sure” avery whispers to me, being nice. for once

“i dont give a fuck, its fine” i say taking a drag

im so high. god damn

10 minutes later all of azzis friends turn up, why are they all so tall. what the fuck

avery introduces herself to them and points them to our couch

“hey im kk, your bella right” kk asks

“yeah im bella”

“hey im ice”

“hey im nika”

“hey im ashlee”

“hey im aubrey”

to many people to remember

until

“oh paige came to, i hope you dont mind” azzi says to us, mostly avery

avery says nothing, myself included

“hi paige” avery says, extremely cold

“come sit guys” azzi says, breaking the silence. i wish i wasn’t so high cause i wanna go to my room

everyone sits on the couch, paige sitting the furthest away from me. funny. not funny. not laughing

conversation begins and everyone is involved. everyone but me, ugh i’m so uncomfortable

paige keeps looking at me, and yes i’m noticing because i’m looking at her to.

paige’s pov

fuck. why do i keep looking at her.

she blocked me last night so obviously shes mad about my actions last night, its just a hookup, nothing more.

its not that deep

“i’m going to bed” bella says, slurring and barely able to stand up. i didn’t know she smoked that much, i guess i don’t know anything about her. but i don’t care.

“paige are you ready to go” kk and ice say to me

“yeah, aubrey, nika, azzi, u ready to go”

“yeah lets go”

“actually im gonna stay” azzi says. sus

“buy guys” is said in unison

azzis pov

“ugh finally” avery says, while smashing her lips onto mine

A/N: im being active rn lolll. how do we like avery and azzi

[ollie-lolly]

Hiya, Ollie! Hope you're doing good whenever ya read this. And if you're not, I have a fluffy request for you:

For the Brothers and dateables, where would they take someone for their first date, what would they do, and how would the day/night end?

Sending you hugs and cuddles, friend! Have a great day/night! ♡

Authors note: Hi I know you’ve requested this in September and I haven’t been writing in FOREVER, but I’m so happy I am finally feeling up for it again! Enjoy!! I’ll just start with the brothers first, if people still think I write decently after all these months I’ll write the letter rest! Also 700+ followers WOW I love y’all.

Lucifer💙

He likes his everything dates very organised. He plans everything out to a tea, he knows he will win you over, but it takes time if he wants you to love him exactly in the way he already fell for you. I think he would take you to a museum, then to a restaurant he somehow knew you wanted to try the food from. Making a reservation to guarantee the best table. He will subtly compliment you throughout the whole day. As a subtle way to tell you he is having a great time. At the end he will walk you to your room and bid you goodnight. His lips touching your knuckles as he kissed your hand. He is the eldest brother, but that doesn’t hold him back from thinking about you all night after the date ended. 

Mammon💛

He will NEVER admit he was nervous even asking you out, but you knew. He likes to be flexible on his dates. Really going with the flow while subtly showing off how much he likes you. I’m mostly thinking of him taking you out to go shopping together, while he secretly takes pictures for the things you find ‘to expensive’ so he could buy you them later when he will make sure his debt declines. Then if you’re that kinda person going dancing together! Either way I think you two will both end up a little tipsy at the end, Mammon accidentally giving you a kiss on the cheek as he drops you off. Remembering when he finally fully sobered up in the dead of night. He would text you about it the next morning, preying you didn’t mind and maybe would want him to give one on the lips next time.

Leviathan🧡

I’d like to think he asked to hangout in his room and if you ask if it is a date, he would throw his phone the moment he replied with: “If you’d be okay with it!”. Safe to say he is scared shitless at just the thought. He preys Asmo will help him with the fact he is sweating buckets. It will most likely be a date in his room, watching a movie or playing a video game with him you expressed interest in. He can’t even enjoy the movie or video game most of the time, because he is constantly worrying if you’re enjoying yourself or not. I think he could finally calm down the moment he would see you smile while eating the take-out you and him ordered. If you ever suggest feeding him some of your food he will be flustered and nod. Avoiding eye contact as you feed him. When the date ends he tries not to be sad you’re leaving already.

Satan💚

He finds your comfort the most important thing at all times. He is extremely considerate, who said chivalry is dead? Because then he would be dead. He is still a little nervous, but that’s because you’re so attractive to him. The date will most likely be to a book store where the two of you would pick a book for each other to read. I think then he would take you to a cat cafe. Him paying all of it with a smile. Just don’t give the cats all your attention, because he wil get a little jealous. I think he would ask to hold your hand on the later part of the date, giving you his jacket as you two walk beside a river on the way home.

Asmodeus🩷

He is over the moon. He will must look his best because he wants you to be entranced by him every second that he is with you. From the outfit, the perfume, the make up and the hair. Everything is top notch. When he sees you, in his mind you couldn’t look better. It doesn’t matter if you choose something more simple to wear and he definitely lets you know how he feels. Our sweet Asmo is most likely taking you to shop together then a self care spa at the end. He is quite touchy the whole time if you don’t mind that of course. Holding onto your arm, complimenting you, he might as well yell to the whole world he is madly in love with you. He might take you to his room by the end if you’re comfortable with it.

Beelzebub❤️

He wil be smiling throughout it all. When you would meet up at the spot he would have his usual blank face, the moment he would see you his sweet smile would appear. His bouquet of sunflowers in his slightly happy and nervous shaking hands as he gave it to you. I think you and him would do a workout class or go to a sports game together. He really pays attention to the things you like and talk about as you two talk in between breaks. Taking you to eat your favourite foods at the end and sharing desserts.

Belphegor💜

This sneaky little cow is most likely showing you the stars constellations in the planetarium on your first date. Little picknick blanket laid out as he would explain all your questions about the stars. Having lavender and chamomile tea and biscuits beside the two of you. The conversation eventually deepening to the thoughts in your heads to the memories the both of you have collected over the years. Belphie eventually placing his beloved cow pillow under your heads as the sleepiness slowly overpowers any nerves you might have had. Holding your hand as the two of you drift to sleep under the starry night above.

[tanadrin]

i fired up civ 5 recently bc i wanted to see how it compared to my memory of it, and if anything it's actually much, much worse.

one unit per tile just... does not work with the idiom of the civilization series! units are not like armies in a GSG, they're like units in an RTS game: grist for the meatgrinder. you build them and throw them at your enemy and if they lose combat, they die. they don't retreat and recover morale, you don't get a chance to reposition and try again, they just go poof. but now in addition to that, you can only fit one unit of a type on a given tile, which means combat is forcibly spread out over a huge space. it's slow, slowed down further by the fact that it now takes a couple turns to fully resolve a fight--i guess the idea is that you can have your injured units fall back, except because of the way units get blocked in now, no you can't!--but you still need tons of units to take cities.

which means they didn't get rid of doomstacks. doomstacks are still logistically necessary to win wars! they just made them really fucking annoying to move around the map.

and on top of that, because OUPT applies to all units, it means you are also constantly having your scouts and workers and other civilian units being blocked in by your own units of the same type, or other players' units of the same type, meaning if you sign an open borders treaty with the AI you are frequently signing up to having your own units' movement being jammed up in the worst way by computer players. and on top of all THAT the units cancel their movement orders if the destination tile is blocked, even if the destination tile is on the other side of the map and you can't see it--which means, basically, any long-distance movement order is liable to be randomly canceled if an AI unit ends its turn on your destination tile.

it feels janky at every single level. the worst possible fix to something that wasn't even really a problem--and if they really wanted to they could have implemented some kind of very basic attrition mechanic. or some other kind of soft cap.

and and and on top of all that, it makes roads and railroads substantially less useful, bc frequently you cannot actually fit all your guys on one road or railroad--but you can't just carpet your territory in roads now like you used to do, because roads cost maintenance per turn. just. ugh. fractally bad decisionmaking! like different people were working at different ends of the design doc and not communicating at all!

the global happiness system means expansion is soft capped early in the game, which makes it feel less like an empire management game than a game of managing four to five cities. since very many units are now hard capped by resource availability now, and expansion is limited, AFAICT in most normal games this means you get like.. two swordsmen? ever? mainly it's strong attack units that are capped in this way, but their defensive counters are uncapped, which means actually playing strategically with your army composition is more annoyance than it's worth. in practice, what this incentives is just building the best trash unit you can afford en masse and throwing them at the enemy, but, of course, see the problems with OUPT.

they took out civics and replaced them with Social Policy trees. but everybody has the same set of social policy trees. and there's a bit of a tradeoff here in which trees you choose to fill out first, but you never then switch those old trees out for new ones like civics. they're just permanent bonuses. so there's no sense of, like, choosing your government type.

and then in BNW i guess they realized people missed that, and created Ideologies, which are just a bonus extra-big social policy tree where you get to pick between liberal democracy, communism, and fascism. but of course there's only three. and this isn't unlocked until the late game.

what they really should have done is added more civics and rather than just having you progress from early game civics to late game civics made all civics contextually useful. and maybe given you some extra civics that were unlocked early in the game so you could strategize around them.

as a part of this change culture is now more load-bearing, but cultural victory is just... weird and stupidly complicated. you have to build tourism, and do archeology, and build wonders that provide slots for great works that your three different kinds of great artist create, and all this other crap. versus domination, where you just conquer the other guys. or science, where you just build your spaceship. it's dumb and bad and awkward.

there's no conquest victory now. only domination. but because of the way domination works, it's now not possible to move your capital manually. this is awful and i hate it! let me move my capital, damn it!

buildings no longer go obsolete, which means that if i am founding a city in the year 1973, i still need to build a City Walls in it before i can build a Military Base. this feels ridiculous. and the series already kinda has this problem where it feels like late game it takes forever to get a city really up and running--don't make it even worse by making me build shit from classical antiquity before i can build modern facilities!

the AI is not very bright. they don't expand very much. on big maps, most of the map will remain empty most of the game, at least up through mid-level difficulties i usually play at (that are supposed to be "standard", so I assume the game is balanced around them)

diplomacy is irritatingly primitive. there are few ongoing agreements. declarations of friendship all last a fixed amount of time. the AI is constantly interrupting you to tell you it doesn't like you or it does like you or you and another AI player all like each other. just expose an opinion modifier and be done with it! harun al-rashid and i don't need to pass notes like it's grade school!

they nerfed the range of air units and especially nukes. which feels really weird. the 20th century saw the invention of strategic bombers that had a range of thousands of miles. why can mine only reach cities right next to my own? why do my nuclear missiles have a pathetic range? sure, sub-launched nukes are a thing, but they're only one part of a proper nuclear triad. there's no MAD anymore!

especially because the world congress can order you to stop building nukes and there's nothing you can do about it. you can't defy world congress bans and suffer a penalty. international law has some kind of magical force that even if you are the undisputed hegemon you cannot help but obey. this is very stupid! especially because they could not think of anything interesting for the world congress to do, so it's all shit like banning random luxury goods.

all the stuff i do like--the city-states, the hex grid, the core idea of the trade route system--is swallowed by annoying bullshit. to take the trade route example: you can make money by setting up trade routes. it can be quite lucrative! and you have to protect your trade routes from bandits and shit. but the menu for issuing trade route orders is a mess--way too much scrolling, you can't sort by lucrativeness of destinations, you have to constantly re-issue trade route orders, and the last trade route a unit was on isn't highlighted, or sorted to the top or anything like that. so it's lots of scrolling around, it's very annoying, and it's repetitive as hell.

the real stick in the eye is that this game was not only reviewed well, it was reviewed glowingly when it came out. which is bizarre to me! yes, it looks nice. the art is good and the music is pretty. but it feels awful to play! it is on almost every single metric less fun than civ 4! civ 3 is more fun, and civ 3 was terrible. i hope to god firaxis was bribing people left and right for good reviews because the only alternative explanation i can think of is that everybody who was reviewing strategy games in 2010 was also in the grip of a brutal glue-sniffing habit.

[jenaurr]

favorite

you never cared for love. being in a relationship seemed too exhausting, too vulnerable and messy. you were okay with watching your friends fall in love from afar. as long as they were happy you were too.

and yet, everything changed after a project you had with a random partner for your statistics class.

na jaemin was someone you've heard of before. he was kind, smart and incredibly handsome. the last person you'd expect yourself to fall in love with as deeply as you did.

you remember perfectly the exact day when he went from a project partner, to a friend, to a crush and to what you call now your boyfriend.

"alright, i say we share the subjects of the presentation equally and then we meet again to put everything together, is that okay?" you asked with a small smile.

"yeah sure, that's fine by me. the only problem is that i kinda suck at statistics so it may take longer than a few days to finish all this." he says while checking his parts of the project.

"oh that's okay, i'm doing quite well in this class so i could give you my number if you need any help with something! you kindly offer, something that later became one of the best decisions you've ever made.

mark sat back on the sofa with a tired sigh in the apartement that he shared with three of his best friends, after one of the bost boring lectures he's had that week.

"dude i swear this teacher was a grim reaper in another life. how can you suck so bad at teaching at yet have the nerve to judge your students like that is beyond me" he complained to the other two.

"what did he say again? I told you you should've skipped this morning, who else other than you wants to see his bald ass head at 9 in the morning? said donghyuck while playing a game on his phone.

"there was barely anyone bro, the only person i knew was y/n. she was his victim today, I felt so bad for her."

jaemin was barely paying attention to the conversation, still half asleep , but hearing your name had better effect on him than any other coffee he's ever had.

"what do you mean, what did he say to her?" he asked, now fully awake

"he read her essay and pretty much called it shit in front of everyone. I can't imagine how awful that must be, especially for someone who takes their studies as serious as her" answered the oldest of the group

jaemin didn't waste a second after hearing that, got dressed as quickly as he could and ran to the nearby bakery to get you your favorite pastries and of course, a bouquet of flowers to cheer you up.

"oh jaemin, it's nice to see you!" says chaewon while letting him in the apartement she shares with you, her best friend. "y/n is a little bit down right now so I'm glad you're here, I have a class in a few minutes."

"thanks chaewon, don't worry, I'll try to make her feel better. I hate not seeing her happy" says your kind friend

"hm I wonder why" she shot him a teasing look "I'll leave you to it then".

jaemin made his way to your room, knocked twice and waited for your permission to come in. when you gave it to him, he opened the door and his gaze immediately found yours.

"what are you doing here, jaem?" you asked him while sitting up on your bed. your plan was to rot in bed for the rest of the day. being someone with huge academic validation, it was never easy for you to receive criticism towards your work, so on the rare occasions when it happened, your mood would be down for the entire day.

"what do you mean what am i doing here? my favorite statistics partner isn't her usual happy self and you thought i wouldn't come cheer you up?" he says while taking a seat on the bed " here's your favorites. for now i can only give you this but if you want i'll gladly give a punch or two to that asshole."

he brought you your favorite pastries and flowers? how did he even know they were your favorites, you couldn't have mentioned this more than once in the months you've known each other.

"jaemin you didn't have to do this!" you exclaim, feeling something you couldn't quite name yet.

"of course I did." he says while looking softly into your eyes "now move over, I plan on staying here for the rest of the day and I'd rather be comfortable" he lay next to you and started to look for a something to watch " what kind of movie are you feeling? I'm in the mood for comedy or romance."

"romance.." you say while staring at his pretty face, in a seemingly different light than you did before

oh...

"chaewon please, the last thing i want to do is see him today" you nearly cried while saying this to your best friend. ever since that day when jaemin surprised you with your favorites, you've noticed that you feel different around him. he's no longer a friend to you and you don't want to feel more things for him, so you avoid him as much as possible.

"y/n please stop feeling so scared about this. jaemin is an amazing guy who could make you so happy. why would you run away from this special something you have with him?" huffed the blond haired girl

"what if he doen't feel the same way about me,huh? then what? i just make a fool out of myself and ruin what we already have!"

"if you think that he doesn't ike you back you must be the actual blindest person on earth." she says while rolling her eyes "do all your guy friends treat you the way he does? i don't think donghyuck, mark, jeno or anyone else does!" she starts rumming through your closet despite your protests "i don't want to hear it, you're coming with me to the party! besides, you don't even know if he's going to be there."

you catch the outfit that she nearly hit you in the face, not forgetting to glare at her despite appreciating her efforts to get you out of the house.

"alright, we're going but i better won't have to drag your drunk ass out of there!" in spite of your original reluctance, you start getting ready.

"this is definitely the last party we're going to together" you mumble, not even on hour later while running after your lightweight chaewon.

"need some help getting her home?" you hear a deep voice ask behind you.

"shit jeno you scared me" you say, clutching your chest " i actually do though" you answer, offering a smile to one of your favorite friends

"sorry y/n" he return your smile "you don't have to worry about her, i'll take her home, you enjoy yourself here" he says while giving you a pat on the back

"are you sure? i don't want to ruin your night" you say

"yeah of course! i was planning on going home anyway. also, i think a certain someone wants to talk to you." he says, obviously pointing to his best friend.

"is it too late to ask for a ride home too?" you ask him with a desperate look in your eyes

"yes my friend, it is. he's already coming here. but don't be scared alright, i know you worry a lot but you two are good together." he says, already making his way to chaewon

you take a deep breath, already dreading the conversation you're about to have.

"hey you, it's been a while. i was starting to think you hate me or something" jaemin says with an unsure smile on his face "are you okay with going somewhere else? i missed you and i want to talk to you about something"

there he goes again. saying things that you wish he would stop saying, because you fall more and more for him

"yeah sure" you answer, trying to calm your nerves

you two drove around for a few minutes while listenig to music from a playlist that you made for him a while ago. you already knew where he was taking you. there was a park nearby where you two spend a lot of time together. he once called this his favorite place to go to with his favorite person. you tried to avoid how your heart fluttered when you heard that.

"so, are you going to tell me why you've been avoiding me lately?" he asks after sitting on the blanket he always keeps in his car

" i haven't been avoiding you, jaem. i've just been super busy with uni and work." you answer, trying to seem as convincing as possible. "you said you wanted to talk about something, what is it?"

there were a few second of silence, so you decided to take a look at him. he was already looking at you, love pouring out of his eyes

"jaemin.." you whisper

"i love you" he says

you could immediately feel tears in the back of your eyes

"i have for quite a while now. i can't tell you the exact moment i realised it, but i can tell you that i'm sure of it. everything feels so different to me now. there isn't a single moment of my day where i don't think about you. i know how scared you are of being in love, and i don't blame you. i've never felt like this before. i've never had someone consume every single thought of my brain the way you do" he pauses, takes a look at you and then takes your hand in his " i think the reason why you avoided me was because you feel it too. and i want you to know that even if you aren't ready for something more than the friendship we have, i would never hold that againt you. never. i'm happy with whatever you give me as long as i have you in my life"

you take a deep breath while squeezing his hand "it's so hard for me to put into words what i'm feeling for you because a few months ago it seemes like the most foreign concept to me,loving someone forever. i don't know how i would be like in a relationship, but if it's anything like watching bad movies with you , or staying here in this park talking about anything that goes though our minds, i want to try it with you."

at that, he offered you his beautiful smile that makes you weak to the knees, and pulled you into a hug.

"i'm pretty sure that i can love you forever, y/n" he whispered in your hair

[acourtofthought]

Whenever I see an Elriel say: SJM told us the mating bond could be rejected for a reason! Elain is going to reject Lucien to be happy with Azriel!

The only thing I can think is: Yes, she did tell us that, but she also told us the consequences of that, and that's the part Elriels always seem to forget or ignore.

Even if Elain does reject the bond, she will never be able to be fully happy with Azriel because she will always feel the remnants of the bond lingering deep inside her chest. Even if she loves Azriel and wants to give him her heart, mind, body, and soul, a piece of her will always be tied to Lucien. There's no getting away from that. It's a simple fact, and as interesting as a rejected bond could be, it doesn't seem fair or right to have Elain end up with Azriel when they will both be eternally haunted by the shadow of Lucien.

And it doesn't seem fair or right for Lucien to suffer a rejected bond, even if somehow the Vassien shippers are right and he ends up in love with Vassa, he too will forever feel the lingering bond and then what? Vassa is human and will die much sooner than Lucien. So I guess they want him to be "happy" only for a few decades, then just go on living the rest of his life alone, haunted by the loss of Jesminda, Elain, and Vassa.

You're so right! If you ask me for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I take away the peanut butter and jelly, I'm just feeding you bread. Sarah has given us a ton of information regarding the bond yet E/riels cling to the random snippets of information that suit their narrative while acting like the rest doesn't matter.

"You said your mother and father were wrong for each other." "What if - that is what she needs?" They love that line and it's used exhaustively in arguments. But they don't bother to think on why Rhys's parents were a poor matched. Bonds do not make poor matches. Personalities make poor matches. Rhys's father was vicious and cold, his mother was soft and fiery. We KNOW Lucien is not vicious or cold. Az is the one with a temper, an icy rage, a hatred of many people, a torturer. Rhys's mother managed to have two children with her husband and we're not given hints that she was forced against her will, it says she eventually grew to resent him. Why don't they focus on that part? That their downfall came about from their personalities? And with that awareness, how they can they claim the same won't happen to Elain and Az? She might be fine with him for a bit but what if she eventually grew to resent him too? You don't need a mating bond for that to happen, it happens all the time in the real world without bonds. They focus on how Sarah mentioned she has turned the idea of bonds over in her head, is there choice? Once again, proof for E/riels that Elain's choice has been taken away and she's decide to be with Az instead! But they ignore how she goes on to say "or is it both?". For every character so far, it's been both and she even tells us she's not saying whether she'll explore a rejected bond or not which is not a confirmation that it's what we're going to see for Elain. As always, they ignore how Elain and Lucien will always feel a tug to one another even if they reject the bond. They pretend that one doesn't exist but what that means is that no matter how long Elain and Az are together, no matter how happy they might seem, they are BOTH going to know that Fate chose Lucien for her and she'll have a connection to him that she'll never have with Az. That sounds depressing to me and will prevent many readers from ever feeling confident that it's not going to become an issue for them at some point. It raises too many questions, how often will Az be jealous because of it? How many fights will they have where Elain needs to reassure him that she's not thinking of Lucien? That she didn't sense him through the bond? What will E/riel do if Az comes across his own mate some day?

[officialstrawhat]

The Rose Of Dressrosa- Chapter 5

Chapter List

Hello! Wow, it's been forever. But on the bright side, I am completely caught up with One Piece! :D Please enjoy this Chapter!

Trafalgar D. Law x Fem!Reader

Summary:

After King Riku is dethroned, Doflamingo takes you under his wing and asks you to follow only one strict rule, "do not leave the palace alone". However, your sense of adventure is too great.

Law had only one thing in mind... Revenge. And you seemed like the best way to do that.

Trigger Warnings!: Please be advised there will be some allusions to grooming, non-con touching, and manipulation.

Word Count: 1.7k

Note: Gif is not mine. Not Edited.

Chapter 5

You hummed happily as you sat in the courtyard of the palace. You sat back against the trunk of the large tree rereading your favorite parts of your adventure book. This was a great chapter:

In the South Blue, there are descendants of wayward giants from Elbath. According to legend, centuries ago, these seafaring giants were shipwrecked on a tiny island in the South Blue. In an attempt to return to Elbath without a ship, they tried to build a stone bridge to reach their homeland. Eventually, the island ran out of stones, and the giants soon realized they would never see their homeland again. Now, every year, their descendants walk across the stone bridge to honor their ancestors...

“You're chipper,” Dellinger came up from behind you.

“So? Am I not allowed that as well?” You bite back at his comment, rolling your eyes.

So what if you were happy? Was that so bad? Whenever you left the palace you felt a euphoric bliss that only satiated until the next time you could sneak out again. Anytime you would go out it was all very secretive. At least you hoped so, you tried not to ever talk to anyone unless it was necessary. Which only made it all so lonely. 

That was until you met him. Law. He was new and told you all about his adventures sailing from island to island. It captivated you. 

He captivated you…

You began to blush furiously at the thought. He was attractive, that was easy to admit. But to act like this it was a feeling you had never felt like this.

“Hellooo?!” Dellinger began to snap his fingers in front of your face. 

Oh shit. Was he talking to you? “Hmmm…”

“I said, Doffy wants to see you.”

Your heart sank, “Did he say why?”

“Oh yes we had a great big chat all about it over tea,” the Sharkboy said mockingly.

Rolling your eyes again, you rise from your grassy spot.

“Have fun,” he laughed as he sank to lay down on his back the brim of his cap hiding his eyes. “Hopefully he doesn’t kill you” 

“Asshole.” you tossed out as you walked off. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. you curse.

Did he know? Did someone see you while you were out? With some strange man no less. You weren't stupid this could be bad. You had heard rumors of how Doffy would kill if he felt like his family was put in jeopardy. Maybe if you explained…

Taking a deep breath you knocked on his massive office doors.

“Young Master?” You say as you enter cautiously.

When you fully entered his office it was empty. It had been a long time since you had stepped into his room. You looked over to his desk and there were the flowers that were browned and dead in an expensive crystal vase. You waved your hand over the petals, reviving them back to life. The act caused a memory to revive as well.

Seven years ago…

Doflamingo sits in his desk chair reading a newspaper

“Doffy!” 

He looks up, “Aww there's my Rose.” 

“I made you something!” You tell him excitedly

“Did you?”

You nod and reveal a wildflower from behind your back lifting it up to him. 

“Watch what I can do!” You turn the one into several different colors.

“My that is something,” he smiled and  placed an invisible string to the flowers and tied it together before placing the bouquet in a crystal vase, “I think it works well there.”

“Mhmm.” You agree as he places you on top of his lap. “Doffy? How many strings can you make?”

He chuckled, “How many stars are in the sky?”

“You hung all those stars,” you gaped.

“Let me tell you a secret,” The Young Master leaned in close to your ear, “Only for you”

“Y/N,” you heard causing you to spin towards the entryway. 

“I was told you wanted to see me,” you said hesitantly as you watched Doffy walk over to his large chair next to the window. 

“Yes. Come sit,” he said once he placed himself in his large chair, you moved to the opposite chair in front of him.  Before you could sit he stopped you by grabbing hold of your wrist.

 “No, right here.” he patted his lap. You felt your stomach turn. Gulping you moved and sat on top of him, causing the grin on his face to widen at your obedience. 

“I am proud of you, you know,” he says pulling you closer to him, “for keeping up with your training. In no time you will be able to unleash the full potential of your power.” He ran a hand through your hair brushing a strand behind your ear.

“Will it always be Monet training me?” you ask trying to focus on your breathing as your heart beats faster against the cage of your chest.

“Yes. As difficult as it may be,” he spoke, his words trailing off before speaking again this time his voice dangerously low and slow, rubbing your thigh. “Unless you want me to step in and teach you. I am a very good teacher.”

You watched his hand inch closer and closer to the most intimate part of yourself. Immediately you jumped out of his lap, “Was that all you wanted to speak with me about?”

“No,” He chuckled, seemingly amused at your jumpiness, “I wanted to speak with you before I leave for The Reverie.”

He’s leaving? This was news to you. You had heard of the meeting before. He had gone before, four years ago. 

“I also wanted to warn you that while I’m away-” 

“Don’t leave, I know.” You finish. 

He stared at you with a grin on his face, “I know my rules may seem rigid but I do so because I care.” He rose from his seat and walked toward you. “You are naive my dear and I would hate to see you taken advantage of. I've only ever wanted to take care of you. Let me take care of you.”

He towered behind you, “Perhaps the next reverie I’ll let you attend with me” he spoke lowly again but this time he snaked his large hand down the length of your back eventually resting and firmly grasping the curve of your backside causing you to take a sharp intake of breath, “On the condition you continue to be a good girl of course.” 

He moved too quickly for you to even understand what was going on. His hand wrapped your loose hair pulling your hair roughly, exposing your neck to him. Frozen in place you watched him smirk and lean down to the crook of your neck. He inhaled your scent deeply before rapidly running his tongue from the base to the top of your neck to the point where you could feel the tip of his wet tongue lash against your ear.

Before you could push back he let you go. Dismissing you back to your room. Quickly you scurried out the door as Doffys laughter echoed in the room.

Four hours later you met Law just like you had planned and tried to block out the events earlier today. As you walked through the alleyways you were at war with yourself.  You kept thinking about Doffy and how he held you. How he touched you. It felt- not good. But Doffy had looked out for you your whole life. 

He wouldn’t hurt you. 

But he just did…

Maybe this was always meant to happen? 

What was it that Doffy said? “Let me take care of you..” 

Maybe it wasn't a big deal. He was very clear. All you had to do was play by his rules and in four years possibly get a taste of freedom. Do what he says, stay on his good side? Allow him to touch you and-

“Are you hungry?” Law asks as they walk down the dark street pulling you out of your head. 

“No,” You say flatly arms crossed against your chest.

“Ya sure? I found this great little booth down this way” Law replied. He could sense something was off you weren’t your normal cheerful self. 

“It's nothing.” You push back suddenly changing your mood into one of fake enthusiasm. “Food sounds great. Let's go.”

You two walked in silence for a considerable amount of time before he brought you to a small cart parked on the sidewalk of a market street. There were so many people and Toy people that it brought a certain warmth you always loved about the city.

You knew this place although it looked different in some aspects. Your attention immediately went to the two-story building the stucco roof was a different color and bicycles as well as their seller could be seen from the new glass windows but you could only imagine a woman who looked a lot like you did now helping customers in the quaint shop.

Law passed you the food and drink he purchased and led you away from the area until he found an empty alleyway.

You both slid down the building and remained quiet until Law finally spoke. “We don't have to talk about it.”

“Hmm?”

“Whatever it is that's wrong,” he told you, “We don't have to talk about it. Frankly, I’d rather just eat my empanada.”

“I used to live there,” you aren’t sure what made you say it,  “Above the bike shop. Well It used to be my mother's flower shop”

He remained silent. Allowing you to continue if you wish.

So you did.  “She died. I was ten.” You felt the tears but managed to push them back. “It sucked.”

Law nodded. “To your mom” You raised your glass of bottle letting it clink to his.

You both continued to eat in silence. Law wished he could say he was pretending to care about your sad story. But he did. It made him think of his mother. He was ten too. Or maybe it was because he knew something was up the moment he saw her walking over to him. He wondered what could have- No. he shook the thoughts from his head. He had to stay focused. He couldn't afford to start caring about some spoiled girl's sob story. She was just a key to his plot and it was high time to start putting it in motion. 

@rebeccawinters @mj-airlines @awkwardspontaneity @cresent-z

[garbbitch]

Mine

1/2

jb x reader

inspired by Guilty as Sin? by Taylor Swift

also!! happy lesbian visiblity week!

after a long night you were finally in bed at 11 and like clock work your mind drifted to the one person you shouldn't be thinking about. you tossed and turned as thoughts of her flooded your mind. her eyes, her lips, her nose, those fucking hands, her tattoos. it was almost a ritual for you at this point. you met her at an event with naomi, they had convinced you to go with them cause katie and jo were busy, but julien had been on your mind ever since.

you grunted and turned over in bed.

YN: i could kill you

NAOMI: what?

YN: this is all your fault

NAOMI: what're you even talking about?

YN: i feel like i've caught the pleauge 🤮

NAOMI: eww stay away from me

YN: UGH not acutally

YN: it's julien

NAOMI: huh?

YN: JULIEN

YN: she's all i can think about

YN: and its your fault.

YN: i'm loosing sleep

YN: and when i do finally sleep i dream about her

NAOMI: eek!

NAOMI: don't talk to me about your weird freky sex dreams

YN: I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SEX DREAMS

NAOMI: well, are they?

YN: shut up

YN: i'm going to sleep.

NAOMI: need batteries?

YN: 🖕

You threw your phone at the wall and stared at the cieling. this shit sucks. you swore the ceiling started to look like her. i’m going insane.

your mind drifted to her again, thinking of the 2 second conversation you had with her, you could’ve sworn she was flirting with you, but when her attention was pulled elsewhere it killed any hope you had in your mind.

[flashback]

“go talk to her, she’s super chill” naomi said to you after watching you gawk at julien from across the room.

“no” you said simply. “it’ll kill me, i can’t” that made naomi laugh quite loud and you whacked their shoulder.

“shut up” you said back to them.

you psyched yourself up enough to go talk to her. she was wearing a tank top with a button-up over it, it wasn’t buttoned up though.

As you walked over you felt your stomach drop to your toes, you started to turn back to naomi who practically pushed you into julien.

"OH MY GOSH! sorry! i didn't see you there" you spoke quickly as you stepped back from her.

"it's alright, you're good," she said gently, turning to face you. you stumbled backward and she gently grabbed your waist. "careful" she said softly, smirking a little.

"thanks," you said, your cheeks felt like they were on fire, and you were no doubt blushing.

"oh, i'm sorry. where are my manners. i'm julien," she said as she took her hand off your waist.

"i'm YN," you said gently, she held out her hand to shake yours. you shook her hand, you were suddenly conscious of whether your palms were sweaty or not. her hand lingered on yours for a moment.

"nice to meet you," you said as you met her gaze. someone came by, you loosely recognized the person to be phoebe.

"lucy needs you for somethin," she spoke quickly, not even turning to see who julien was speaking to. phoebe quickly pulled her away leaving you in the dust.

you walked back to naomi, “i wanna leave.” you said gently. naomi looked at you concerned.

“what happened?” they asked with genuine confusion.

“i don’t even know, some person named lucy needed her for something.” you said softly, you were a little sad the conversation ended so abruptly.

[end of flashback]

now you were in bed, staring at the walls, at the ceiling, and the ground. trying to get her off your mind. you started to doze off, still thinking about the way she held your waist.

the feeling of her hand rattled around your sleepy mind until you were fully asleep. you had no doubt it was gonna make you dream about her… again.

you were back at that party, but it was just you and julien, you guys were standing together talking like you were before you were interrupted by phoebe.

“it’s nice to meet you,” she said gently, her hand was still on your waist and she held out her hand for you to shake it.

you shook her hand and she brought your hand to her lips to kiss your knuckles. you blushed and she smirked.

“well, yn, you’re very pretty” she said gently as she looked you in the eye.

“you’re not too bad yourself.” you said as you blushed even more. you not so subtly checked her out and she noticed immediately.

“my eyes are up here.” she said softly, she was teasing you, and you were just letting her. you blushed even more, you were convinced your face was beet red.

she chuckled, “you’re cute when you blush” she said gently, you were convinced you were gonna explode.

“th-thanks.” you stuttered. she chuckled again.

“can i kiss you, pretty girl?” she asked softly, you guys were standing close together and you subtly stepped closer. you nodded.

“i need words, babes.” she said gently.

“please?” you mumbled softly, she closed the small gap between her lips and yours. as you kissed you were brought to a bed of clouds, both you suddenly laying on it together. [an: shut up, ik it doesn’t work that way but it’s a dream] she gently deepened the kiss making you moan softly. you tangled your hands in her hair.

“julien—” you moaned her name softly. she gently caressed your cheek.

“what’s the matter, princess?” she asked gently. your cheeks flushed.

“jules, i need you” you mumbled, she kissed you again.

“so cute.” she whispered before kissing your cheek and moving her lips to your jaw and neck. you moaned and tangled your hands in her hair.

she gently tugged on your shirt and you pulled it off before she could say anything. her mouth watered at the sight of your tits in your bra.

“wow—” she breathed softly, “can i- uh, kiss them?” she asked softly, you nodded.

“words, babes, words.” she said gently as she toyed with the strap on your shoulder.

“please kiss my tits.” you said softly. she chuckled and pulled your bra off before kissing both tits, giving them equal attention. she sucked on one, as she fondled the other. you were squirming beneath her. she pushed her leg between your legs.

“oh fuck— julien!” you moaned out, she smirked up at you.

“enjoying yourself, princess?” she asked softly, you nodded and she laughed softly. “so fuckin cute” she whispered as she kissed your stomach and made her way to the top of your jeans. you felt like you were on cloud nine.

“fuck julien—” you moaned. she looked at you with a smirk.

“what’s the matter baby?” she asked gently as she ran a tattooed finger over the button of your jeans. you whined softly. “words baby” she chastised.

“please j, please” you whined softly, she unbuttoned your pants real slow, kissing your hips and upper thighs as she pulled them down. you tried to move your hips in an attempt to get any friction where you needed her.

“so naughty” she teased.

your alarm went off and you groaned. fuck this. you tiredly walked to where you threw your phone the previous night.

UNKNOWN #: hey! it’s julien, from that party the other day.

UNKNOWN #: is this yours? [insert picture of a hair-clip]

your stomach did a backflip. what the fuck?

[THE END]

AN: don’t be mad at me for the abrupt end. there’s a reason.

[golbooty]

Betty Grof rant essay 6 months late!! i'm still heartbroken here's 1000 words about it!

I still have so many Thoughts and Feelings about Betty's character that I made a whole separate sideblog more or less just to share them so if YOU are also afflicted with this brainrot then welcome

So after 2 rewatches of fionna and cake and having Simon and Betty infect my brain like a pair if ill-fated amoebas for the past six months I have a random burst of energy and. want to share why I feel so disappointed in the conclusion Betty's character arc.

I feel like most of the positive reviews of the casper & nova + cheers call them "bittersweet", but I honestly can't see anything sweet about the ending. Simon's obvious immense guilt/trauma/depression aside, they're really just going to leave Betty like that? She no longer has a corporeal form and is perma-fused with a malevolent cosmic deity forever. There's no bittersweet maybe-in-the-next-life or deadworld ending for Betty. There's no "I can't be with the love of my life but I get therapy and friends and ride into the sunset". She's just... gone, at least if we take the narrative at face value. We obviously don't really know exactly what being Golbetty is like for Betty, the only hint being choosegoose describing it as "languishing", which isn't positive. I've seen a few people retort that "maybe Betty likes being an all powerful chaos deity" which, maybe? But nothing Betty ever did implied that she would enjoy that or want that type of power. Her only wish was to cure Simon and be with him again.

I also can't be convinced that Betty would've chosen to fuse with Golb if she'd been of sound mind. Beyond the MMS-ness, it's difficult to imagine the depth of her guilt/horror realizing what she'd done to Simon by jumping through the time portal, essentially condemning him to 1000 years of thinking she'd abandoned him and died in a nuclear apocalypse at best, and at worst leaving Simon with the belief he somehow harmed/killed her without knowing it. For. A thousand years.

As if that's not enough guilt, the first thing Simon does after their reunion in AT is beg her to let him die instead of becoming Ice King again. And she refuses, because this is Betty we're talking about, and she just won't give up. She promises Simon she'll figure out a way to cure him without realizing that it will be nearly impossible and then drives herself mad trying. Just.. the immense guilt that Magic Betty must've felt knowing she stole Simon's one chance to escape the curse and pass on peacefully, and now he's trapped in his own mind waiting for her to free him and she just can't figure out how.

On top of that, you have Magic Betty summoning Golb as a last ditch effort which ENDS THE WORLD. Having Betty revert back to her sane(ish) self alongside Simon inside Golb and fully confront the consequences of Betty's actions was... narratively great but also cruel. Betty clearly understood she just triggered the apocalypse- "this world will end unless Golb is banished" and "I'm sorry for messing everything up" and absolutely feels like it's her responsibility to fix that. And I think the most heartbreaking part of that entire scene is Simon just... giving up. He's not upset with her for not letting him die or abandoning him or ending the world he just. Holds her and tries to comfort her That must've been... really something for Betty.

I know Simon/Ice King is touted as the big tragic character in Adventure Time, and while yeah, fair take, I really can't get over the immense tragedy that is Betty Grof's story. She's never allowed to be happy. We don't learn much about her background, but most of her character traits to me at least point to an unhappy childhood (extreme impulsivity, disregard for her own well-being, obsessive tendencies, self sacrificing). She falls deeply in love and accidentally loses her sense of self and purpose in it. Then her fiance, the love of her life, loses his mind and starts attacking her. Then she impulsively jumps 1000 years into the future because she sees him and she loves him so much and she can't stop herself, but he's gone in an instant and now and the world is completely unrecognizable and she has no one. Simon has been warped into a demented lunatic, and she knows he's still her there and it's her fault. Then she goes absolutely bonkers-crazy trying to fix everything and starts betraying people left and right, then nearly destroys the timeline (including herself!), then it culminates in her ending the world. (sidenote: I fucking love how powerful Magic Betty is. like she's a random human who maybe learns magic for a year or two and figures out how to both destroy an entire timeline and summon the most powerful being in existence? ?? fuck I love Betty.) Then she condemns herself to an infinity of suffering in order to keep Simon safe. Like fuck.

I love a good Christ figure/big sacrifice, but I don't find Betty's arc bittersweet or satisfying at all. She didn't want nor deserve her fate, she was forced into it and ultimately destroyed herself out of guilt and grief. It's just... bleak. Every small mistake Betty makes is punished beyond reason. She's burned up and torn up and twisted and it's ultimately because she loves someone too much and wants to save him. She's robbed of the chance for any real character growth or happiness.

Ultimately, I think the show did try to give her and Simon closure, but it went about it in such a bizarre, unconvincing way. They both felt so out of character in Casper & Nova and Cheers that it just seemed flat and unfulfilling. Any character development Betty underwent as Golbetty happened off screen, which is maybe why she seems so... not Betty, especially in Cheers. And I mean, "I have no regrets" my ass, after everything she (unintentionally) put Simon and herself through, that line feels almost cruel. Not to go all "he wouldn't say that" but... she wouldn't say that. On top of that, her final message to Simon seems to be "don't you dare sacrifice your mind and humanity for the sake of someone else" WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID? Also see paragraph 2: she's still fused with a malevolent chaos deity isolated in the cold vacuum of space.

I sort of understand not wanting to give Betty and Simon a happy ending together, although I still think done correctly it could've been a satisfying and good ending, even if Fionna and Cake seems to retconn a lot about their relationship that paints it rather unfavorably. More than anything, though, I wish they'd shown Betty an ounce of mercy. She's a phenomenal character, she's funny and smart and impulsive and stubborn and so good. Her character had so much potential for growth and fulfillment and happiness and she just ended up being a plot device for Simon's arc and I will Not forgive that. The ultimate message of her story is that suffering begets suffering and mistakes will be punished to the fullest possible extent. I know to some that feels "realistic" but this is adventure time and that's a harrowing fucking message to end on.

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #10] Blonde

warnings: b is in her bleach era. love that for her!! jaykay is in the chapter for like 1.5 seconds and still manages to be the best thing about it. also if u think wow holly sometimes your chapters end very similarly, uhhh yes. ur right. mainly because my brain is smooth but also because jungkook is a creature of habit! it’s within his character traits! not because im stupid! even if i am!

soundtrack: space - audrey nuna;  blonde - maisie peters

wc: 3.5k

bd total wc: 540k (on-going)

minors dni | AO3 | series masterlist 

You suppose you really shouldn't be surprised when Seokjin leaves you on read. It happens as soon as he escapes the city, just like it always does. 

It's always the same; he'll come back to town for a few days - to visit friends, his family, or maybe for a haircut with the only barber he trusts - then leaves just as quickly as he comes.

The predictability of it all would be funny, you think, but your knees are getting worn out from how many times you fall for it; his charm, his deception, his pretty lips that soothe the burn of his selfish choices. 

He'll be radio silent for a while, and then suddenly, as if he's finally changed the batteries in his walkie-talkie, he won't be. It'll most likely be when he's on his way back to town in a few months time.

The saddest part is that you know you'll want to see him when he does. Will have the burning desire to show him just how well you've been; how well you've coped without him.

Most of all? You'll want him to know just how much you don't need him.

Inevitably, he'll end up in your bed, and you'll end up all in your head - again - overthinking and underestimating just how easy it is for him to drop you. Forgetting just how badly he fucked you up, only for him to remind you in the most callous of ways.

When Danbi comes home on Thursday night - three days since Seokjin's last message - she knows exactly what's happened. You've got a special kind of pout reserved for Seokjin-related upsets. It's always a little soft yet incredibly hard to break.

"You gotta stop letting him in," she says over a glass of red. She hates the taste, but loves the soft buzz in the pit of her stomach. Though she's much better suited to Moscato, Danbi will never turn her nose up at free wine.

If she knew why you were drinking it, she might consider rejecting it.

Seokjin's favourite. You'd bought it on the way home from work. Just couldn't help yourself.

Had figured that at least when you hugged yourself to sleep that evening, your lips would taste like his used to do, on the nights when he'd tell you that you're the most delightful thing he's ever laid his eyes upon. Would be all giggly. Wine drunk. Happy. In love.

But it's been a while since he did that. Feels like a lifetime ago, now. 

You shrug as you let the ruby red liquid swirl in your glass. Fighting against your feelings feels like swimming against the tide.

Always struggling to breathe. Never winning. Failing. Falling. 

"I don't know how to, Dan."

"But you do," she insists.

And she's right. Of course you do. 

His number has never been blocked, but a simple restriction of access to you would solve so many of your problems.

Thing is, you kind of like him still being your problem. At least that way, on a technicality, he's still yours. Kind of.

Every time he comes back to the city, it's still your bed that he ends up in.

Never for the night. Just for an hour or two - but for long enough for you to convince yourself that he can't stay away.

The lies you let your mind whisper are insidious. You're irresistible. He's still just as affected by you as you are by him. He can't possibly leave you.

And yet he does, each and every time.

He doesn't ever let you go. Not fully. Whenever you think you're getting over it, he shows up just to get you under him; his thumb, his spell, his body.

You're halfway through the bottle of wine when Danbi tells you once more that you need to get Seokjin out of your hair.

You've reached the end of it by the time you're grabbing your purse and heading for the closest Olive Young.

It's just down the street, by the crossroads that lead into town, and the staff there have seen you in worse states. A little tipsy has nothing on the mascara-stained eyes they used to be greeted with during the worst days of the breakup.

"Sure about this?" Danbi asks just to check before you take the boxes in your hands to the counter.

"Absolutely not - but he always hated me blonde," you grin a little sardonically. The happiness that comes with this change will be temporary, but you have to remind yourself that so was he. "At least even if I can't resist him, he'll resist me."

Peroxide and perhaps a little fried, your blonde hair had caught his attention in the early days - but you had dyed your hair dark in a bid to keep it. 

He'd said some bullshit in a conversation amongst friends about his preferences, and how he favoured the 'natural look'. You weren't together at the time, not officially - but everyone there was a friend of his. They all knew you'd be going home with him. It only took two boxes of dye to get him asking to be exclusive. A week later he was introducing you to his friends as his girlfriend. 

Funny what a little bit of conformity can do for a man who loves playing by the rules. 

You assume his desire to tick the boxes and do what is expected of him is also why he was such a bellend when it came to the glitter you liked to dust yourself in. 

Nobody's perfect though, so he was willing to overlook it. Was just one of the flaws he perceived in you. When you love someone, you accept them.

He ultimately never grew to love it, but for a while, you thought he might.

Bleach boxes in one hand, another bottle of wine in the other, you waste no time and head straight for the bathroom. Danbi follows you right in. She's always there to lend a hand or at least provide a Spotify playlist to get you through your woes. 

Folding the powder into the developing lotion by the sink, you know your bleach-induced bathroom antics could get you a spot in a Brad Mondo video.

All a little haphazard, you're without a mixing bowl and brush, so are having to use an old takeout container and a plastic spoon, instead.

It's not quite how the instructions suggest you should mix it all up, but no good ever comes from following the rules.

You'd tried for Seokjin, and look where that got you.

Unlike him, trusty Tupperware has never done you dirty before. No reason why it should now. 

Danbi sits on the closed toilet seat, legs crossed, a small bottle of bubbles in her hand. The bubbles had been a Christmas party favour from the office job she'd quit four months ago. Rediscovered when she'd been cleaning her room earlier that day, Danbi had taken to blowing pretty little bubble flurries your way all afternoon. 

Your reflection is captured in the peacock sheen of the bubbles while you study your rapidly developing hair in the mirror. 

You haven't bothered to change out of your shirt. It's not yours. One of Seokjin's. It's navy, and you hope the bleach ruins it.

"I think I've fucked up," you say all rather calmy, talking about your hair and not the shirt. It's not the end of the world if you have. Just hair, you always think.

Danbi shrugs. Has clearly spent too much time in your company, because she echoes exactly what you're thinking: "Just hair, babe. It'll grow."

That's the joy of your friendship; you both encourage each other with the same dumb remarks whenever you feel like you've reached the point of no return. 

After all, if you can't go back? 

Go forward.

"Plus," she adds, blowing more bubbles instead of taking a breath. "You can just chalk it up to being your hot mess era."

"Been in that for months already," you smile at her in the reflection of the mirror. You prod a little at your roots, and know that you definitely should have waited a little longer to work the bleach up to them. Bollocks.

You've done this enough times to know you'll end up with a gold band haloing around the top of your hair thanks to how easily your roots always lift. Nightmare. 

"Exactly, so you may as well look the part," Danbi encourages. Worst influence going, she is. Also the best at times, too. You find comfort in the fact she won't always say what you want to hear, but what you need to hear instead.

The conversation dissolves into empty chatter, gossip about Danbi's dog walking clients, mentions of Taehyung and how he's still trying to talk her into a mates-rates discount despite the fact they aren't actually 'mates'. She asked you about your Bartender That Smiles, and you say he's all good - before you have to insist there's nothing going on there. 

"He's got issues with his ex," you explain.

She rolls her eyes. "Don't they all? Boys and their first loves, I swear to God."

"Not sure she was his first," you defend, though you're not sure why. The thought lingers as you rummage around for an old tube of toner that you know you have hiding in the bathroom cabinet somewhere. It's been a while since your hair was pale enough to take toner, so it's been pushed right to the back.

Danbi is shooed from her perch on the toilet seat and into the living room as you let the shower run to heat it a little.  

The first crash of water against your skin is lukewarm. Tepid. Unappealing, but necessary. 

You hate anything other than boiling-you-alive degrees Celsius, but know you need to be kind to your hair after the torture you've put it through. The water runs cloudy until the bleach is rinsed out, and then it runs purple thanks to your silver shampoo. It pools around your feet and seeps into the drain. Wishful thinking has you hoping memories of Seokjin will do just the same.

It's just to preemptively tone it, but you can't help but worry about the pigment taking too strongly on your roots. 

The ash toner you found in the cupboard is in a box by the sink. You plan on putting that over the top of whatever mess your hair is anyway, but it doesn't hurt to get a head start on the process. 

The water glistens a deep violet, briefly coating your skin - and for some reason, all you can think about is Jeongguk, and how you'd really like to be downing a Purple Starfucker (or five) with him right now. He really is the perfect distraction. 

Still, you have a task at hand. You rinse your hair; ring it out. Sigh as you frown at the mess that greets you in the mirror - lilac roots, a yellow band haloing just like your thought it would, and silver ends. Brilliant.

It's as you're sitting with Danbi in the living room a little while later - body wrapped in a towel that isn't half as fluffy as Jeongguk's favourite, ashy toner smothering your peroxide blonde hair - that you notice your phone flash on the coffee table.

Danbi clocks it first, and stifles a laugh as she reads the screen. "Isn't that the guy from the club?"

You assume she means Jeongguk, and are a little perplexed to see it's Jimin's name on your screen instead. 

"Yeah... Jimin. Smooth talker, shit shagger."

"A glowing review."

"Hey, I still let him think he was good," you say as you reach for your phone to read his message out loud to Danbi. "You guys out tomorrow night?"

Sipping on her wine, Danbi raises a brow. Shakes her head in confusion. "He hoping for round two?"

"Fuck knows."

It's just gone midnight, so you consider maybe he's thinking about his desire for a hook-up, and is hoping for a safe bet in the form of you. 

And so you don't reply. If he double texts, you'll just lie and say you've fallen asleep.

The scent of your toner is beginning to give you a headache, so you go to rinse it and bid farewell to your final day as a brunette.

Sleep evades you. Doesn't want to let go of who you were, apparently. Wine makes you sleepy, and yet you're wired as if you've just had a triple shot americano.

But then it's three in the morning, and all you can seem to smell is the deep conditioner you bathed your hair in that evening. 

Somehow, when you look to the empty space beside you - delicately ruffled, a dent prevailing in the pillow - you convince yourself that you can smell fig leaves and coconut. The notes of his favourite aftershave linger like the ache in your chest. It's hollow, and you can't work out why it hurts quite as much as it does. 

If there's nothing there, how can it be so painful?

You sniff back tears that fail to truly form and pull your phone from beneath your pillow. It's hard to move your fingers when they're tangled up in puppet strings that Seokjin is refusing to let go of, but eventually you manage to tap through some Instagram stories in a bid to distract yourself from him. 

Inspirational quotes don't do much for you, nor do the engagement pictures of people you haven't given a second thought since graduation. There's an abundance of them. Smiling faces. Diamonds, or maybe just cubic zirconia. Fresh sets of nails, hands that are pink and warm from the heat of whoever's been holding them.

It's a curious thought; what people who haven't spoken to you in years must think of you now. 

You were the one who was going to succeed. Going far in life, made for a boardroom, would look incredible in a pantsuit - and yet you're working in a cafe, first-class degree of no more worth than the tissue paper you flush down the toilet. 

See, you switched out life goals for glitter. You wear it like armour; protect yourself from the world around you. Who cares about seriousness and success when you're a constant disco? Not you. Could never be you.

Or at least, you hope that's what people think. Hope that no one realises you're covering yourself in artificial shine; like a canvas in acrylic because you were too impatient to watch the oil paint dry.

One day you'll glow. Glow for real. 

For a while, you thought you had been with Seokjin. 

All you see when you look in the mirror these days is tarnished silver; copper alloy pretending to be much more than what it really is. Your skin will turn green eventually.

There is, however, one person you've managed to fool. 

When his story pops up - a repost of tomorrow night's paint party event at Dionysus - you find yourself clicking through to your DM thread without much thought. You know he's at work. Know it's a 50/50 whether or not he'll get back to you before your mind begins to berate you again for how miserable you feel. 

It's a simple message - hey - and you're pleased that it's met with an equally simple reply not even a minute later.

JustJK: To what do I owe the pleasure?

You decided that 'I'm about to cry over my shitbag ex so chose to message you instead' probably won't be Jeongguk's favourite thing to hear, so you opt for a little white lie.

You: Just wondering how the kids are <3

Part of you worries he won't understand what the fuck you're on about - but of course, he does. He's Jeongguk. Gets you better than you get yourself, these days.

JustJK:  Missing their mother. 

JustJK:  Perry the Pigeon almost fell earlier.

JustJK:  Roger the Robin looks like he has a broken wing.

JustJK: Must be one of yours. Inherited his mother's wonkiness <3

With each message that comes through, your smile grows wider in the midnight darkness of your bedroom. 

You: Careful or I'll file for joint custody.

You: Get poor Roger away from his father's cruel remarks </3

There's an ease to how you joke together, both aware of how unserious you are. There's no second-guessing, no worrying about saying the wrong thing. If you do, you'll say sorry and move on. No harm, no foul.

JustJK: Your appeal won't hold up in court, Byeol.

JustJK:  You've neglected them ever since you spawned them.

JustJK:  Haven't even paid them a visit!!!

Laughter stifles in your throat as your body curls up into a more comfortable position. The audacity of this boy, you think, ignoring the way he manages to get you entirely focused on something that isn't your own despair.

You:  You've got full custody!!!

JustJK:  And you're still allowed to come for supervised visits!!!!!

JustJK:  smh and to think you call yourself their mother.

JustJK: I'm their mother now.

You pout at your screen, and whine a small little 'nooo'. 

You:  They need me :(

JustJK: Come and see them, then. They miss their mother.

You:  Tomorrow?

He reads the messages instantly, but takes a little longer than usual to reply. It worries you slightly. Makes you more aware of your surroundings. The scent of Seokjin's aftershave begins to permeate the air once more.

Until, all rather suddenly, it doesn't anymore.

JustJK:  I'm not working tomorrow night, but Jimin's insisting on going to the paint party - you coming?

You:  Will Perry the Pigeon be there?

JustJK: If he falls before I leave for the club, then yes.

It's not a bad proposition. One that quite intrigues you. One that has you agreeing, and him telling you to fuck off and go to sleep. He's got work to do, he says. 

It's actually quite quiet at the club - Yeonjun just caught him looking at his phone with a dumb smile a few too many times for Jeongguk's liking. Doesn't wanna get caught out again. 

Especially doesn't want him catching onto the fact that there's a reason Jeongguk's eyes light up like Disco Balls when he looks at his phone.

Yeonjun doesn't really have friends who are girls, Jeongguk reasons with himself. Won't understand that he's perfectly capable of having a little flirt without it meaning anything more than that - after all, isn't that just what banter is? Friendly flirting? He does it with the boys all the time. Doesn't mean fuck all. Just fun.

Jeongguk's a couple of years older than his cerulean-haired coworker, and has learnt the hard way that you really shouldn't escalate friends above the level of purely platonic. One day Yeonjun will realise this. 

For now, though, Yeonjun'll shag anyone who looks at him in the right direction. Has probably already ruined a few good friendships. Doesn't even realise he's done it.

Jeongguk trusts himself not to make the same mistakes he's made in the past with you. Thinks that he's pretty happy with how things are. Has missed the dynamics of friendships with girls. Is looking forward to Monday movie night with you and Danbi again.

And yet when he gets home to find Perry the paper pigeon on his bed, he can't help but smile.

You wake up to a picture of the fallen bird in your DMs - and even though you'll whine and complain about it when you see him that evening, all you can do is smile, too.

JustJK:  Looks like we're having a wholesome family trip to Dionysus tonight.

You: Mummy and Daddy reunited at last <33 Perry will be so happy.

JustJK: It's okay, you don't have to lie.

JustJK:  I know you're talking about yourself, not Perry.

Jeongguk doesn't send the message where he tells you not to call him Daddy. Knows you'll read into it; tease him about it. It's not like he's got a thing for it, or anything, he just... maybe wouldn't be opposed to it, and so he'd rather not be called it when he's having casual conversations with you. Wouldn't wanna get flustered. 

Part of you already knows this. Is precisely why you'd said it. It's not really your style, not the kind of thing that gets you going.

But it is also exactly why you choose to end your next message with, 'See you tonight, Daddy x'.

You're laughing as you send it.

And as he receives it, Jeongguk groans. Buries his head into his pillow. Crumples Perry a little in the process. Whines. 

"Don't fuck this up, Jeongguk."

AO3 | MASTERLIST | NEXT

[sabellart]

“I think I understand a whole lot better than you do”

[anyoldfandom]

I am actually. I am so emotional over the Salazar parents and I need to share this to tumblr too.

A lot of stories where the MC is adopted I feel. Either dismiss the biological parents and the impact they have on the kid's life, or makes them evil and abusive, framing the loss of the bio parents as a good thing, or at least something we shouldn't think about just look at this new family.

But Genrex doesn't do that. From the start, Rex wanted to find out more about his parents - it's one of his primary character motivations, next to helping people. He loves them, even though he doesn't know them.

And the more he finds out about them, the more he realizes they loved him. Rylander is consumed by guilt but as Rex's first connection to his pre-Event life, the first thing he does is hug him. And when he tells Rex about his parents, the two things Rex knows is that 1) they were scientists, and 2) that when he was in danger, they were desperate enough to use their secret, experimental technology to save him. Technology built from their desire to help the world, to save countless lives and end countless suffering.

And then. When he finds out that they were dead, he doesn't stop caring. It'd be so easy, too, to tie it up there - his parents were good people, he got his answer about them, the end. But they don't. He doesn't. Because the show is saying once again that they are his parents. He still calls them mom and dad, even as the show makes it clear Holiday and Six adopted Rex as their son. Even as the show even parallels Six and One with Rex and Six (and I will talk about that more later if I don't forget, trust me), to really drive home how much they're family. Rex even says he considers the two of them family, and later that he considers Noah, Claire and Annie family.

He has new family, the show tells us, but his old family still matters to him. He's upset that he never has the chance to meet his parents, that everything he hears about them, about his time with them, is secondhand knowledge. It tells us clearly that not only does Rex still love them, but that he still wants to know them. And everything we find out about them reinforces the love that they had for each other.

We see Abuela and the family in Mexico, who connect him to his birth family and tell him that he was so loved back then, and still is now. We see their office in Abysus through Rex's eyes. The picture of him and his dad on his desk. The drawing Rex drew, proudly pinned to the wall.

We see it in the familiarity of the drawing. That that robot, that build, was what Rex created when he was lost and scared and alone - that it was made to keep him safe. That it first appeared in his mind in a place he felt safe.

The show says, tenderly and softly, that the love is still there. That the fact these people died was nothing but a tragedy, that their love is a big part of what made Rex who he is today - that every molecule in his body is filled with their final gift to him. That every time he cures someone, every time he uses a build, every time he makes a machine - we see the love that they had for him.

And the way he quietly absorbs his father's face. The way he freezes and whispers "Mamá?" when he finds out Zag-Rs has their mother's voice. The fact that she even has her voice as a testament to Caesar's love, too - that it was meant to bring comfort and safety. The way Rex yells at Caesar when he finds out they have a family property, a connection to their past, the way he fights to protect it.

And, none of this takes away still from Six and Holiday being Rex's family too. None of this removes the work either set of parents did for him, the love either set has - the show says that it was unfair that the Salazar parents were lost. That Six and Holiday are not replacements, that they still love him as parents but play different roles in his life. They can not, and have no desire to, replace the Salazars. But Rex needs parents, he needs protectors, and so they will do what they can for him - at first out of necessity, to keep this kid they barely know safe, but then out of love. They aren't replacing what was lost, but are doing their best to do what Rex's bio parents would do. And they do mess up in it - they mess up in ways Rex's bio parents might not have. Six is clearly bad with showing affection, affection we saw the Salazars give Rex so easily, and Holiday is overworked and stressed constantly, sometimes breaking under the pressure and snapping at Rex and Six, things we never saw the Salazars do.

It's just. It's about how sometimes things will not be the same. They will be different. That doesn't mean the people you lost aren't still with you.

[brittlebutch]

it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time

I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world

And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with

[foolishnpd]

i simply cannot have a normal positive reaction to anything normal happening ever T_T